#PAP No 2 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

secretress · 4 months ago

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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐏𝐬𝐬𝐭, 𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐇𝐞𝐲? 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧? 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞? 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭.❞

Who is the next person coming into your life?

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Pac summary!

🦋 Who are they?

🦋 The reason they are coming.

🦋 End results of it.

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I

Who are they?

King of pentacles reversed and death.

Uptight. The person coming into your life after you heal some open wounds is uptight. Good grief, they are stubborn as hell. Intuition tells me this person is here to end a karmic cycle for you. This person is very ambitious with what they want. So if you are in the way, best believe you aren’t going to be saved. They do not care about other people’s feelings if it means they can have what they want. So if you want to be kind to someone like this (as you always have to others), then go ahead, but remember that this is to end a cycle. So make sure you are aware of this. Intuition tells me they are successful, they have a lot of wisdom in the material world, and they give me lex luthor vibes, but healthy? Ironically, I am hearing they are a healthy person but can be immature when it comes to their goals. You are someone who doesn’t like change, and you always resist the change coming into your life because you are scared. That fear will be removed with this person. I do advise you to be alert around them since they aren’t a ray of sunshine. The death card explains that this person will make a meaningful change in your life, but you must take it.

The reason they are coming.

Change. Card came out so quickly. They will appear in your life quickly, kind of like a spontaneous decision on their side since they know you. And you know them damn well. I keep hearing about a breakup, so it’s possible that for some of you they are an ex, and for the rest it’s an old acquaintance.

The lovers and ten of pentacles.

The lovers confirms the ex coming back into your life if you resonate with it. As for the rest of you, it is possible that it’s a relative you stopped speaking to out of disrespect or a third party you left for a relationship. I feel a lot of third party energy, it’s possible it’s someone who didn’t approve of your relationship or marriage or wanted to steal your lover or you. So the reason they are coming into your life isn’t for forgiveness or that they are sorry, it’s for their own security. Having you in their life provided them material wealth or some type of abundance. They were able to leech off on you and they want to do the same. This is why intuition mentioned a karmic cycle. You must end this and not allow them to come into your life. Intuition tells me, ‘’leeches, leeches. Always coming back for more. Do not be your past self. Acceptance is key. Leave them.’’

End results of it.

Seven of cups reversed, knight of wands reversed, and the moon reversed.

You have all three reversed cards. Ouch. This is about a blockage in your life, and this person is truly not interested in you in the way you hope. Stop seeing the good in people, especially those who hurt you. It’s fine to see the best in people, but not those who hurt you, love. They aren't good for you and surely, your healing shouldn't go in vain, right? There are two pathways here.

You let them into your life: if you decide to let them into your life, all your hard work of healing goes in vain. You will be miserable and become restless. You will struggle to keep up with your life and fuck up your bedtime routine. Fuck your grades and start gaining weight from stress despite having a good metabolism. I also see acne breakouts, and you are crying constantly. Some hair loss and a lot of fear are running through me which is how you will feel. This person will be arrogant and stubborn, as mentioned, and make you lose your self-worth again. You will be stuck in the same cycle again, and that’s not worth it. Unless, of course, you are interested in being your own enemy? Don't be, and do not let your past self hard work in healing go to crap.

If you don't let them in: you will be slightly happier. Not in a bad way, but you are still healing, and you will feel guilty for not allowing them to come back. But you will find the clarity you need and realize many things about yourself. You will start to become stronger and learn that your intense emotions are not your enemy. You will start becoming creative again and start to draw, animate, read, exercise, etc. Right now, it’s kind of distant with your hobbies, but that’s okay because healing takes time, so stop being harsh on yourself. Anyway, your control over your mental diet will improve, and everything will become positive for you. You will eat healthier and, overall, become healthier. You will find your passions again and find a new job in your hometown, and it will give you the abundance you need to start anew.

Masterlist.

Pile II

Who are they?

The cards came out so fast that one of them almost fell on my floor. Their energy is wild. I feel fast-paced and on pure adrenaline, as if I were Superman.

King of cups, reversed ace of wands, and reversed five of wands.

You have two reversed of wands in your pile. Intuition says this person is afraid of planning ahead and always does things spontaneously; I keep hearing rule breaking. They like to do things to the extreme and make things fun, but they struggle with being decisive. I also hear ‘’fire, fire, fire—help, there is a fire! Just joking.’’ They like to joke around a lot; everything is a playful banter with them, and they will help you ease up a bit. This pile is honestly so beautiful. The king of cups is about compassion and empathy, and that’s the overall energy. A lot of people who are troublemakers get a bad rep and that’s the same with your pile. Make sure to be gentle with them, because underneath all that badass energy, they are a pile of goo and sensitivity. They are amazing at communication and honestly remind me of Ace from one piece. Intuition says, ‘’the sweetest people always get a bad reputation.’’ I hear that sometimes they ruin an opportunity for themselves because they do not have the motivation to keep going, and I hear that depression is something that they have dealt with or will deal with. And yet, with your energy, you make them want to improve. (psst, a love interest).

The reason they are coming.

Aside from the love interest, I’ll come back to that later. Intuition says they will bring your life pure happiness, but it will be a wild ride.

Queen of cups, the tower reversed, the chariot, and judgment.

Oh wow, wow, wow. Hey guys, so you are in your spiritual awakening right now? Congratulations on that! That's a huge accomplishment, so I'm proud of you. Moving on, so they are coming into your life because you ended a painful cycle in your life that has caused you to have a glow up both mentally and physically. Congratulations on the weight loss or weight gain too!! You should be proud of yourself and show more compassion to yourself with the queen of cups. Tarot says you need to realize how hard you worked to get where you are and understand that you will gain or lose weight more, but you cannot do that without accepting the progress you made. Stop looking at the big picture and focus on the smaller details. Our bodies change all the time, just as a plant grows into something beautiful, but it takes time. Everything needs patience, unless it’s a gut feeling and you have to make a spontaneous decision. They are coming into your life because you ended a cycle in your life. You found something you wanted, and you decided to make an inevitable change in your life. This change has made you stressed out, but it has also made your body healthier. I need you to stop worrying about the bigger picture and focus on the smaller details. Intuition says, ‘’love. I am proud of you. The hardship you went through to get where you are is amazing. Have more compassion and self-love for yourself. This person cannot appear and be your lover in the near future without this. Love is necessary within before it’s given outward. ’’ They are coming to make you feel warm and loved. They want to be your rock and your knight. They want to see you happy and lively. They want you to stop being so rigid and focused on your hobbies. They want you to travel with them and fall for them, just as they will fall for you. Some of you are hopeless romantics, and so are they. I keep hearing a ‘’match made in heaven.’’ Congratulations on a healthy relationship.

End results of it.

The reversed eight of swords came flying so fast, fell on my floor, and the first word to appear was, ‘’that’s too much love.’’ This person is going to be so loving, oh my god. So damn cute. I see a bunch of flowers on your table with love letters written on each of them, always saying how much they adore you, but all with details. This person loves you so much, and the amount of time they take to show you both with words and action is so mesmerizing.

Eight of swords reversed, five of pentacles, and the empress.

Awh, okay. So basically, a lot of you struggled to believe in the idea of love after encountering a lot of shitty people who shamed you for your weight. This caused you to hate yourself further, and you stopped caring about your emotions and yourself. The idea of loving yourself made you feel grossed out, and whenever you saw confident people with your body weight, you judged them internally, never outwardly, because you found it wrong. Because you have learned to heal yourself, you were able to find freedom within. You were able to heal yourself from those thoughts as they haven’t appeared since, but they are resurfacing in your obsession to become skinnier or gain more weight. But the person coming into your life is here to teach you how to harness your emotions into something beautiful. ‘’I want you to blossom into the beautiful flower that you are.’’ That is what I heard from them, which explains the imagery. They want you to release your limiting beliefs about yourself and help you understand that you control your life, not these thoughts. They will teach you how to become more confident—not falsely confident, but genuinely confident. You're going to feel so good, and I'm so happy for you. In a way, they will teach you how to take care of yourself without being so harsh on yourself. And make you feel happy. With them, you will have a happy, healthy relationship with them, amazing communication, and you both will be so loyal to one another.

Masterlist.

Pile III

Who are they?

There are multiple people coming into your life. As I was shuffling, so many cards came out, and one card flipped, indicating it was your card. Intuition tells me, ‘’a lot of people are coming, but you will be able to spot one person to come. It will be magical.’’ Someone is coming into your life, but you have a lot of people stopping you from allowing them to come, hence ‘’multiple people coming in.’’ This person will teach you a lot of things, but truly bring out your inner child and help them heal. Lots of tea parties, and I had an urge to listen to Alice’s theme song.

Two of pentacles reversed, ace of cups reversed, and the lovers.

A lot of you repress your emotions and wonder why the things you want won’t come into your life. I was telling someone today, ‘’if you do not heal with your repressed or bottled up emotions, then you cannot get what you want. Your thoughts create your reality; the things you say to yourself are what come towards you.’’ This is what you needed to hear. You honestly struggle to believe in yourself and lack confidence and self-love. A lot of people have mentioned that to you, but you ignore them. The person coming into your life will say the same thing. I am hearing they can be a teacher? Something with a nurturing vibe or mother nature; someone very calm, perhaps a bit too calm and very sweet. I feel drowsy, but in a relaxed way; that’s how you will feel with them. They are going to be honest with you and could never lie to you unless it’s to protect you. Intuition says they will teach you a lot about the world since you’re always in your room or feel caged in. a lot of overbearing and/or overprotecting parents/guardians. And they will teach you how to balance your intuition and feelings because you mistake your intuition for your anger or sadness.

The reason they are coming.

I feel suicidal energy with all of you. And I feel so empty inside. At first, I thought it was with me until I saw your cards.

Reversed ace of cups, reversed ten of cups, and reversed four of cups.

Awh, love. You are so worthy and loved; maybe you don't see it with others, but here with me, you are. I love you lots, and I am very proud of you that you are moving forward in life despite the struggles you are facing. Understanding your emotions is hard, isn’t it? Everything is a mess with you. You think of yourself one way, then it changes a lot, and you feel like you are lying to other people, but guess what? You are not. Change is about to happen, and you are figuring out who you are, and that’s okay. It’s okay to not know what you want in your life, that’s what it means to be alive. I hear that some of you are part of the furry community and do not feel loved or accepted, but you are accepted here, and the person coming in will feel the same. So they are coming into your life to show you that you are loved and accepted. With the four of cups reversed, tarot tells me you are struggling to find motivation in your life and find new opportunities. Remember, a flower cannot grow without sunlight, water, or patience. So you cannot find opportunities without patience, self-love, and acceptance of yourself. The person wants to show you that and give you what you need. And I keep hearing discord. Since a lot of you have broken families, the person will be coming online, but mainly on Discord.

End results of it.

Happiness, so much happiness. Your future self is happy and fulfilled. They are comfortable with who they are and express themselves better because their family also accepts them. But this was done with a lot of patience and understanding. Communicating and understanding one another, teaching each other about their cultures, traditions, etc.

Three of pentacles.

This confirms it for you. The three of pentacles are about positive endings, and you are on the right track. The opportunities you have been craving will come as you speak to this person. They will teach you so many things without expecting anything in return. They remind me of the dad or mom friend, always showering their friends with so much love and yet not caring for themselves. So teach them how to let go of being so selfless and teach them how to take care of themselves. After all, this isn’t a one sided friendship; things should become equal. I know that you guys will get a lot of rewards after this person meets you. Like the things you wanted before? You already have them. You will feel so relaxed and happy; a lot of you haven’t smiled, and if you have, it was fabricated. It will be genuine with them. They make your life better, and your family will know about them and think about allowing you guys to meet up. I hear that you have mentioned it or that both of you are comfortable with it. Either way, both of you would be down for it.

Masterlist.

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secretress · 1 month ago

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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.❞

What do you have to let go of in order to achieve your dream life?

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Pac summary !

𓆣 Detailed.

𓆣 What do you have to let go?

𓆣 How has it been affecting you?

𓆣 How do you let go?

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I.

(Trigger warning: faint mentions of su!cide).

What do you have to let go?

X of cups reversed.

Your pile is slightly tricky since this is a general reading, though my intuition tells me you must let go of the relationship you have with your future and past selves. You truly believe your past self was and is right about everything. You follow their mentality: thoughts, beliefs, and their behaviors, etc. You believe that your future self will mess up everything and have started to disregard their feelings about this. This pile has a lot of intuitive people, and in your future you see prosperity, abundance, genuine love, and everything that one person could desire, yet you keep discrediting your future self’s achievements and believe your past self is the one that obtained these. You also have been neglecting your present self and invalidating your feelings because it doesn’t fit your standards of who you are supposed to be or were. Your past self was able to help you get here, but it is your present self that is holding the stance, and it will be your future self that helps you achieve your goal. As long as you keep doing this negative cycle of insulting your future self, you will keep straining the friendship with yourself and question why everything is going wrong. Don’t allow yourself to be your own enemy, and then expect kindness from yourself. An enemy would never show kindness to their enemy without seeking something, and you are doing the same to yourself. Do not invalidate your feelings just because you have them now. Do not play victim with yourself whenever something negative occurs and go running to the same person that is playing you and making you feel worthless. Don’t do it.

You are making it harder to achieve your dream life and embody your desired self. Why crave something with all of your heart but push it away at every opportunity that comes? Why make it harder for yourself when you know damn well that you can make your desires a reality with a change of thought? What makes self-sabotage so special to you that you believe it is something that you deserve? You hide the smallest things from yourself—the smallest—it’s not necessary to keep straining the relationship with yourself. You are not this toxic person, you are your own person. Stop believing they are right when they are not. They’re an ass! Truly.

I know that you believe your past self is the embodiment of perfection; they were very confident, they had everything wanted, they could say no within seconds without shying away, without looking back, their mindset was a godsend and everyone would die to have it, they always strive for the best, but they are not here anymore, and that is not who you are anymore. Stop changing who you are right now, and allow yourself to naturally become them again. Forcing yourself to be a certain way and expecting to embody them within seconds is what is causing you so much stress that you feel su!cidal. My intuition says—take this into your heart and hold it dear because it’s something that you must understand. My intuition says, ‘’if you keep filling a hollow cup that has punctured holes on the bottom, hidden from its user, you will allow yourself to feel frustrated wondering why it is not filling up. It is a half empty cup, a cup that was always going to be hollow, something that cannot be fixed unless you create a new one. But that new one cannot be fixed overnight, it takes time and effort for it to manifest. If one were to pressure the one who created the cup, they would stress out and take a longer time to make it. Those stressful thoughts will cause despair and shame, as it buries them in insecurities as they hold onto those expectations from their client; something that is simply impossible even if it was done by a master from this field. So do not become this client to yourself when you know well you cannot embody them anymore.’’

How has it been affecting you?

Page of swords reversed, chains, justice reversed.

You are already aware of how this has been affecting you mentally. People have been feeding off of your energy like a vampire, and you feel drained constantly. A lot of you have wondered if there is something wrong, perhaps it's a lack of nutrients or iron issues, and for the rest, you have asked your family what is going on and taken their advice, but nothing has been working. The people feeding off your energy are causing you this confusion, thus making you struggle to accept when better opportunities come your way. I see a vision where someone from the noble family, primarily a prince with gold flowers on his jacket’s material, opens up an envelope from a desired place. The desired place is vague without a specific area. When they were opening up the envelope, all of their beautiful emotions were forcefully pushed into a dirty jar as it got sealed, and he could not get it back, leaving him with the unwanted emotions he buried away for so long. These emotions used to bury him in quicksand, and each time he tried to get out, he would sink deeper, and finally, one day, he allowed it to only for him to realize this isn’t where he wanted to be. But in this situation, his negative emotions came back to haunt him because he never healed from it. This vision is subjective, and each of you has a different place or want about something, yet you have not healed from your past, and now it is haunting you. You have a lot of overwhelming emotions, and you are slowly but surely pushing away the positive emotions because you fear they will be the ones you cannot stand. You are struggling to understand which emotions are right to feel and what is not. In short, you cannot feel anymore, everything is gray for you. Becoming your own blockage has made it easier for you to feel something, but has made it harder for you to become your dream self. Why disappoint yourself to feel something? Truly, what have you gained from it? You have lost so much. You lost trust in yourself. You have allowed others to break promises with you, telling them it is okay and then allowing them to do it again. You sabotaged job opportunities; you let yourself fail as you were held back for a year or another semester, yet you are such a hard working person. You (some) have let your ex cheat on you with a friend encouraging it, thinking that it’s okay just to feel, and (some) you allowed people to harm you for shits and giggles just to feel.

You are feeling these negative emotions because you started to get high from negativity and ruining your mindset, so no, these emotions and thoughts are not validated. And you must change these thoughts, or you will fall so painfully hard that you will lose yourself in the progress. Sabotaging your future self is cruel; they are NOT your enemy, they are your friend. Stop sabotaging your FUTURE self and your present self and then believing it is okay. It’s not, and these will not be validated by me.

To become your own enemy, to ruin opportunities for growth and self-improvement, is another type of cruelty that one would not wish upon someone else despite it all. To have that much hatred for someone you do not know and then complain about not getting where you want to be is another type of incompetence. To keep lying to yourself about things that will never happen, to cause stress and fear upon yourself just to laugh at yourself, is so cruel and morbid. How can you believe that is okay? To have such an elegant and beautiful energy, to now for it become the opposite of that: a disturbing energy. This is a whole new level of wow. Not the good wow, the wow of embarrassment. Originally, as I channeled your reading, I thought the energy vampire was someone else, yet it is you with yourself since all you do is torment yourself and get off on it. You do not do any of your work, you do not speak to your friends (not anymore since everything went to shit), you do not do anything, you barely cook for yourself, you just sabotage your present self and future self, and that’s it. You are the joker, but with yourself, and this is not okay and it never will be. It’s disgusting energy, and get mad at me as much as you would like to, but you came for a reading, and you are getting an honest one. Let’s keep going. Please take this reading to heart and heal for the better.

Moving on. You need to go back into your past and understand what led you to this. What caused you so much pain that you believed that in order to do better and be better, you must cause yourself pain. Shame keeps popping up in my mind. What decisions did you make in your past that have you so much regret that you hate yourself this much? What or who caused you so much for this to repeat in the same cycle? Healing a bit and then sabotaging yourself, going back to the same cycle, and then feeling su!cidal again. The word “shame,” is shaking around, chaotically spreading around in my mind. Your energy is so off-putting, not for me or anyone else, just for yourself. A vision appeared where someone (you) is stuck in a circus trap where wild animals are usually held, and the headmaster or headmistress is shaking a gold bell to the person, saying they are a failure, a shameful mistake, and a useless c*nt. Intuition tells me this owner is and was a friend or a current lover of yours that always made fun of you and gradually made you believe the lies from their tongue, hence the golden bell. Sometimes these bells can indicate control over someone, and the same person follows through and obeys. The same can be said here.

This is why I said your pile is tricky, there are two parties. Those who dealt with a friend and the other, a current lover. Nonetheless, follow along because this could make sense at the end, even if it doesn’t resonate yet.

Having vulnerability in a relationship can become nerve-wracking; you do not know if the other person is going to hurt your feelings, or use you as a means to an end. Other times, the idea of saying the truth can be scary and the thought of fabricating is easier, but as you keep lying like this to yourself and with others, you create a deeper rabbit hole for yourself. Not because you forget what you have lied about, but because you cause a drift and ruin the perception you have of yourself and who you associate yourself with. It doesn’t matter who you hang out with or date; you will always sabotage yourself because you ruined your perception of who you are. Meaning, you can no longer be vulnerable with yourself because you are used to lying and manipulating yourself, giving yourself hope and then ruining it for yourself—all of this has created a ball of emptiness, thus causing you to lose your emotions that you have been longing for. The only person to blame is yourself now. You have to take responsibility to become better for your younger self that dealt with that friend, or now and leave that current lover of yours. I feel like a part of you (everyone here), wants to genuinely heal, but fears linger in your mind, and cutting that cord scares you shitless. Letting go and not having those emotions is nagging you, and you feel like it’s better to have them than be empty. But sometimes, it is better to feel nothing than to lie to yourself to feel something. You do not gain anything from it.

How do you let go?

Reversed III of wands.

You must allow yourself to let go. Often, we allow others to control us, forgetting that we can control many things. In this case, you can control yourself to stop nitpicking and shaming your present and future self. Allow yourself to have your needs met and show yourself that it is okay to allow your path to go another way. Knowing that your past self cannot control you any longer and that it is time to let go. Allow your mind to be a waterfall, and imagine all the thoughts and trauma you cause yourself to be pushed away into that jar, just as the vision I saw with the prince. But rather this time, it’s the negativity that has engulfed your precious mind. And as you push these thoughts within that jar, allow the peaceful ones to come back within, and show appreciation that you did not do. And remember that the past cannot be undone as much as you want it to be, but that is also the beauty of life. Because now you are mindful of the decisions you make for yourself, and you now have a chance to do better and be better, but in a healthy way. Letting go may be hard, but doing it now as you read this is much better than never doing it—you may need time, and you may have to let go in baby steps, yet it is far better than not doing it. The gold flowers that were on the prince's jacket's fabric were an indication of your heart before all of this concurred. Having a gold heart to devote to those you care for is not an ill thing, it’s beautiful when it is well taken care of. Yet this time, do not make the same mistake, instead.. show that heart to yourself and let it engulf you so you can bring happiness back to yourself. And to become your dream self while learning what your dream life will be in the near future.

Masterlist

Pile II.

What do you have to let go?

The hanged man reversed, IX of swords, and the VII of cups.

Your pride. I believe this pile is self-explanatory. Even cutting it short, right here, you would already know what I am talking about. But I will get down to the deeper aspects of your pride, the ones you hide away with deadly vines that drown their prey for the fun of it.

Your mind is your escape palace, each time something triggering reappears, you allow yourself to dissociate from the world and stay in your inner world. In a way, you are always on autopilot and struggling to balance staying in reality and staying in the clouds has worsened. Now, you have started to feel fake, as if this is not your body and who you are. You are lost in your own fantasy that you have caused yourself—an addiction that has been challenging to leave. Your pride is another factor in this fantasy. It has caused you shame for even acting upon this fantasy, as you have always been someone who prided themselves on being better and never falling for something as this. Always made fun of others, and now life has bitten you.

Pride can either be our greatest ally or our greatest foe, and before all of this occurred, it was your best friend, yet now it’s out of tune with your goals and the life you dream of. It sees you as prey that it must devour, and you are letting it be. The IV of swords indicates troubles on fears, doubts, guilt, and worries; all the overwhelming emotions that you have been walking on eggshells around. These have become your new normal, but you have forgotten what it's like to feel peace surrounding your heart. My intuition tells me you must let go of your pride and learn to embrace this new addiction of yours. Learn to use this escape routine in something safe. Meaning, a lot of you daydream and douse yourself in different fantasy worlds of who you are and what you have there, yet your personality is always the same. Use those skills on figuring out what dream life you like to obtain and manifesting it into your reality. Take time in creating a realistic world and figuring out who you desire to be, what job you want, and what fashion you truly crave, and if you cannot find it, then learn to sew and make clothes for it to come. Do not be afraid to learn something new and find a new hobby. Allow yourself to engage in this world and the world you will create about this realistic world, and you will gradually see no reason to escape into that fantasy world of yours.

How has it been affecting you?

VI of wands reversed, the sun and III of wands reversed.

It has been causing you to feel overwhelmed to the point where you have been struggling to keep up with your daily life. Some things that feel real have started to submerge you into your fantasy. You struggle to figure out what is real and what isn’t. I keep hearing that some of you have depersonalization-derealization disorder, and some of you struggle with hallucinations. Some type of disorder has it, but I cannot be specific about it because there are too many disorders that are popping up as I channel this. A lot of you have started to hate yourself about it and would rather give up on life and let it be. Your pride is still truly your enemy, as VI of wands reversed speaks about it.

I have already said this pile is rather self-explanatory, but with the sun, you keep ignoring your struggles to be something small when it is not. You keep invalidating how you feel and believe it is better to be this resilient person who does not face struggles. Mind you, you are human, you are allowed to feel. It is okay to cry and feel those struggles, and it is truly okay to let loose and feel your emotions. But once you feel okay, and truly embrace those feelings, let it go, and get your ass back up and find solace in your desires that you create through these worlds you create and make it in your reality. Stop allowing your pride and fantasy ideals to take over and make you someone you are not. You are not this lazy person that you have idolized yourself to be; hell, you are not this evil person you think that you are, you have always been sweet and mind you it is okay to show compassion. It is not a disgusting feeling. Do not become your own setback and believe this it—this is your last resort and you cannot do much afterwards. Do not fall into this loophole of despair and think that is okay. Would you prefer it in the future that being in the same place you are as of now is your future, or will you do everything in YOUR power to change your reality?

How do you let go?

Let go of the idolized version from fear that you created so you can never change and make your desires into your reality. A lot of people create idolized versions of themselves to either daydream about (this is your case), and others do it to BECOME them. Which one sounds more appealing?

I keep asking you the same thing because you keep brushing them away. Which one would you truly have? What kind of future do you want? Don’t you want to have those fantasy worlds of yours come to life? Anything is truly possible, I know that it doesn’t seem to be the case, but it is. If you allow yourself to make your dream life come to you instead of pushing it away because you are not ready, then you can never have what you want. I know that shame can eat us alive to the point where those emotions rot in our flesh and cause delays throughout our hearts, but it is also important to recognize that this is your life and it is time to let go of this ‘’you,’’ and embark on the real you that has been cast away because of despair. So, I ask again, and please answer this one honestly. Who do you desire to be, what is your future like, and what do you want your dream life to be like? Only you and you alone can make your life change. Change cannot happen without you and your thoughts alone. How do you desire your thoughts to be? Would you like to change your pitiful thoughts and make them into positive ones like, “I am deserving of change. I allow change within my heart and let go of the old me that does not align with my dreams. I am free, and I have let go of all that ached my heart. Freedom is my destiny, and I am deserving of all of the beauty that comes from life.’’ Allow my intuitive words to heal your heart and make your life better. The things you desire cannot happen instantly, that is not realistic, and that is okay. Be consistent with these words and see the magic appear.

The tower.

I felt like something was missing and yet it was. Stop hiding the desires you actually have and remind yourself it is okay to crave them. Some of you crave genuine friendships, and the rest of you crave to love another but have been hurt to the point of no return. Listen to me, okay? It is genuinely okay to crave them. I understand that you have always done everything alone and believe you are destined for that, and maybe you are if you do not change your thoughts, but as I said, change cannot happen unless you change. But my intuition tells me the desires you crave are what are supposed to happen as you gradually become comfortable with better thoughts that make your day brighter. You are supposed to wake up in the morning without stressful and unwanting thoughts; you are supposed to smile randomly to yourself, and you are supposed to feel so much peace surrounding your heart. This is not because you change, this is because this has been part of your journey. Meaning, this has already been written down for you from the start, whether you believe in these or not.

Masterlist.

Pile III.

What do you have to let go?

VI of wands reversed, II of cups, VII of cups, and the lovers.

It is time to move on from the love that you are mourning. They do not and did not care for you as you did with them. I understand putting all the love you had for them did not manifest in the way you desired, but as you keep mourning, you allow your life to be stagnant. No change is coming in your direction, and there is a lack of balance in your heart. What they have done to you is not your fault; do not allow them to take over and make you believe that you were the devil. You are a beautiful rose that has fallen on the floor, hidden from the world, but it is time for you to come back and be seen. Allow yourself to gain the confidence that was stolen by them and rejoiced. It’s not wrong for you to move on and become happier for yourself. Those words that came from them as you both broke up were mere lies. They wanted you to keep thinking about them, and they wanted you to never move on. But is that what you still want? For your life to be on pause as everything else around you keeps moving forward?

I see a scene where a beautiful fallen angel is being thrown by “God” down onto earth, where their once light illuminating skin is transformed into nothing but gray skin and black hair. No shining light surrounds them, it is as if they are forgotten. This is your energy, and that “God” was your ex. They were not your grace, and they never were as much as you wanted to believe. It is time for you to let go and find your illuminated light once more. Stop allowing your what-ifs to cause you doubt about the truth; you already know that they did not care for you, so why do you still care for them? Still desire their love, devotion, validation, and care? Do you not have any self-respect for yourself? Learn to seek them from within and learn to heal the hole in your heart so you can learn to appreciate the special lover coming to you after you heal. Your dream life is creating a beautiful family with a special person and finding solace so you can both work together—to find someone who desires the same workplace and where you can speak all night long about the same subject. Allow your mind to come up with different possibilities about how your life can become beautiful instead of the negative what-ifs. It is causing your mind stress and making it hard for you to let go of this nonexistent loss. They were not the loss, you were. You have lost yourself for this person who does not deserve you. And they have lost someone who had the most mesmerizing heart that would light up anyone’s dreadful days. Become this angel for yourself again.

My love, your last card is the lovers. This was closed off for me before I checked your last card. The lovers is such a beautiful card and is your proof that this person will come only if you heal. Do not force the healing, allow it to come naturally. You must heal yourself, do not damage them as you have done to yourself. Learn to treat yourself with compassion, delicacy, and care. Some of you believe in God but have lost your ways because of them ruining your faith for their sake. Go back to the religion that you once loved and embodied it. It is not wrong to go back and appreciate the religion that gave you peace nor is it wrong to have one. The person whom is coming is absolutely mesmerizing, their heart is like gold and reminds me of those romantic movies that make any person swoon. Their love will make you fully believe you are worthy of natural and soft love. If I were to say it, you would not believe me, nor would you believe your loved ones. That is why you must say it to yourself first and then allow them to say the same.

How has it been affecting you?

Ten of cups.

I have already written how it has been affecting you, however, with the ten of cups this is simply a stronger indication about the beautiful love that will engulf you on a beautiful journey. Ten of cups indicate a fairytale ending with lots of happiness and freedom. The ending of Cinderella keeps coming to my mind and that is the same love that will come to you. This love is so refreshing, I cannot say anymore because it is for you to find out and for me to keep hidden.

How do you let go?

You just have, have you not? I felt your energy shift as I shuffled the ten of cups. You felt the same, did you not? You already knew of this person but needed the confirmation. So, allow me to write you a letter instead.

Dear you,

I am rather proud of you for letting go as you read this pile. To let go that quickly without causing pain to yourself or allowing the doubts to creep in—to allow yourself the freedom you sought for so long and to see this and tell yourself it is time to let go. It is so beautiful and so heartwarming to see. I do not know you personally, nor may I ever, and the same goes for you with me, but if I did, I would hug you, cup your cheeks, and look into your eyes as I whisper that I am proud of you. I cannot explain properly how proud I am of you, but hopefully you can tell by my energy, or perhaps from the texting style of my words? I hope that when this person comes, not only will it truly be a fairytale ending, but that you look back in your past where you were hopeless and broken by your ex—that you wish that your past self a thank you for moving forward despite it all and getting far as where you are right now. And to always remember them by the things they enjoyed before it was ruined by the image of your ex and instead of disgust now, it is something to be cherished. I truly hope you find peace each day moving forward, and I hope love comes to you in unexpected ways.

Yours truly,

Sefina.

Masterlist.

Pile IV.

What do you have to let go?

Ace of cups, and the fool reversed.

I know that you are happy with the new relationship that has started for you. That you finally found the right person for you who treats you with love and admiration. You believe this is your new beginning, but this is what you must let go. This person is not your new beginning, they are the pain.

They will cause you so much pain that you will feel fear, the same fear that I feel as I channel for you. Love bombing keeps appearing on my mind, this is a manipulation tactic, and some of you have already noticed when they lie but brush it off. You have been hurt so many times and you believe, or have manipulated your mind to believe this person is your future spouse from the endless amount of love piles you read. But they aren't, and they will be your demise. They will leave you with so much unwanted baggage that it will be hard to let go and may lead you to want to let your demons win. A lot of you have tried letting go of this connection in a dream, you keep seeing the same person in your dream. You know them, but you do not at the same time, some type of placebo effect appears to my mind.

Think of a one-sided relationship where a person puts all of this love imaginable, and the same person does the same. But as the relationship evolves, one of them starts to feel resentment for the other, and those feelings add up into a ball of energy, and eventually they harm their lover so they can get rid of those feelings. But it does not work and they still feel hatred. The same can be said for you and this person. It is time to let go of someone who resents you. You did not know them or know them well, but they have been keeping tabs on you and want to make it to the finish line—the finish line being your downfall. I get stalkerish vibes from them. Be careful.

Confirmation: the fool reversed.

The fool reversed in tarot cards indicates chaos, being naïve, trusting the wrong person, being stupid or engaging in stupid and reckless decisions, and having poor judgement. As I said, this person was giving me stalkerish vibes and the same can be said here. I also hear murderous, or an ex-killer. I feel dread around my heart, and I advise you to be very very careful when breaking up with them and to have someone who can protect you to be with you.. please. I keep hearing a dad, so perhaps, if you are close with him, have your father, and if not, a male figure. It will intimidate the person and trigger childlike fear for them (that is, for you to be able to break it out safely).

How has it been affecting you?

VII of pentacles, page of wands, and ace of cups.

It has been mentally exhausting you. On one hand, you know that they have been off-putting, but this is deep within your heart. That part where you cannot allow yourself to be vulnerable. And on the other hand, you are the fool reversed—too trusting for your own good. You cannot trust someone who makes you question the idea of love and if it is a good thing, even if it’s a thought you keep brushing away. And you cannot always be the one putting all the energy into a relationship, always taking the blame for their wrongdoings, and believing that you are the one causing a crime. That is not what a healthy relationship would look like.

This also has been affecting you as they have been triggering you. You have been wondering why you act a certain way with others, and with them, it is almost like you are another person. Someone who bows down for them instantly, but this is not you nor what a relationship should look like. A healthy relationship helps you grow, makes you believe you are worthy of love and care, heals you, makes you feel like an angel, challenges you in a healthy manner, works together to overcome challenges, and allows your childlike nature to escape and feel happiness. You have not felt that once with them, and if you have, you either were gaslighted by them or manipulated yourself for their sake.

You need to talk to someone you trust with all your might about this. A lot of you are already stressed out about them and this toxic relationship of yours. Some of you are already doubting what I am saying to you, and that is fine, but at the same time, this person will say the same but in a different approach because they know you better than I. You got the ace of cups once more.. that is your confirmation once again. These doubts that you have must be let go, and you must take action on them. The energy is so toxic that I had to take a break because I did not want to do your reading. As you already know, I am rather honest, but this pile hurt me internally. Not because there is anything wrong with you in this situation, no, but because of what you are going through and how this so called lover is with you. A part of me simply doesn’t want to keep writing this, just like another part of you wants me to lie and say they are an angel; they are this and they are that, but that would be a lie and I simply would never atone for that. Another part of me is writing it so you can be safe, and that is the part of you that you keep pushing away as said before. You must understand they are not good for you, end of story, my dear.

How do you let go?

Trust your gut feeling and understand those thoughts that arise about them. One of your parts already knows they are not a good person, yet you will not do anything about it. You cannot let go because of the fear and tight relationship they have with you. I see an image of someone choking someone as their legs are not touching the ground. Do not be that person to believe that you can fix this person and they will treat you with love, they are not. They are awful for a reason, and you already know this reason. Your gut feelings know and you keep ignoring it.

III of cups and queen of wands reversed.

Right now, you are struggling to trust yourself about them, and in the beginning of this reading, I spoke about a father and, if not, a male figure. The person you trust most is a male figure, so speak to them about this and learn to trust their words. You also need to learn to have confidence and respect for yourself before you break up. I see you breaking up with them before gaining those, and it doesn’t work out for you.

Masterlist.

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