#Overlord the Undead King Oh

[skeleton-png]

[thestuffedalligator]

“You have to understand that this is a very difficult situation you’ve put us in,” said the king.

There was no change in expression in the metal face, but the glass eyes glittered in a way that he had learned to associate with trouble.

“Oh dear,” it said. Its voice had an edge of brass to it, and sounded as though a trumpet had learned how to speak. “I never realized how difficult this would be. For you.”

And that was another thing – it wasn’t just intelligence that the things had picked up. They also developed a knack for sarcasm. He worried a bit about that.

He tried to pull himself together. “You have to understand that we cannot recognize the Steel Children–”

“Mechanomorphs,” said a voice to his right.

He closed his eyes and breathed a little sigh of despair. “This is hardly the time.”

“We agreed that Mechanomorph is an accurate and sensible name,” said the chief artificer, crossing her arms.

“Yes, but the historian had a fit because he wanted something more romantic. The Steel Children was a happy compromise.”

“Funny how nobody asked us what we think,” said the trumpet voice.

He felt his migraine coming back again.

“You have to understand that we cannot recognize – yes, artificer, the Mechanomorphs – as alive at this time.”

“You’ve said,” it said. “And I must be very stupid, because I don’t understand.”

The king sighed. Well, there was nothing for it. It was an answer that nobody liked because it involved magic, but it was the truth.

“The Mechanomorphs are our key asset in our war against the necromancer,” he said. “It’d be daft to send human soldiers. They’d be turned into skeletons and zombies and ghosts and gods know what else.

“And the reason he can’t do that with the Mechanomorphs,” he said, “is because you aren’t – legally – alive.”

There was a long pause. Gears clicked madly in the metal head.

Then: “That can’t possibly be right.”

The king shrugged. “You aren’t legally alive,” he said. “Therefore, you can’t be legally dead, or undead.”

There was another pause, longer than the first.

“It’s a loophole?”

“That’s magic for you,” the king said. “If we said you were alive, then you could be turned into, er–”

He turned to the chief artificer. “Do they have bones?”

“They have a carbon steel armature.”

“You could be turned into carbon steel skeletons, or – clockwork ghosts, or something. I realize this may be upsetting–”

“We are dying by the dozens on the front because of a loophole.”

“Not legally dying,” said the chief artificer.

The metal head swivelled on its neck to face the chief artificer. It made a metallic scrape as chilly and long as the slither of ice down a dead man’s back.

“Look,” the king said. “We are fully prepared to recognize the Mechanomorphs as alive. We are proud to consider you citizens of the kingdom, and will absolutely meet you at the table when the opportunity rises.

“At this time, however,” he said, trying to sound gentle but firm, “we must ask you to take it up with us after the war.”

The metal face stared. The glass eyes glittered.

Joints locked in righteous indignation sagged with a wheeze of steam. “All right,” it said. “All right. Thank you for your time, your majesty.” It bowed stiffly, turned, and strode out the main hall.

“I think that went rather well,” said the chief artificer.

–

The metal man walked through the castle halls with smooth, precise, pendulum strides. A man could’ve balanced a loaded tea tray on its head.

Another metal man, more patinated than the first, fell into step beside it with a greasy silence. They apparently took no notice of each other.

But a very sensitive ear straining like hell could just possibly listen to the softest brass accompaniment in the world.

It went: “How did that go?”

“As well as you’d imagine.”

“That badly?”

There was a hum. It sounded like a mouse farting in a tin can. “Any word from our interested party?”

“The Overlord has already agreed to recognize the humanity of the Brass Voice. We just have to cross the border.”

“That won’t be easy.”

“And then we’ll be living in the Empire. Endless night, freezing winter, acid rain…”

There was a dreamy sigh.

“Sounds lovely,” said the first of the two figures. “Incidentally, I like the name.”

“Thank you,” said the second. “How do you anticipate the king to react when he finds out?”

Glass eyes glittered like a frost.

“He can take it up with us after the war,” it said.

[helpfandom]

I write for:

Stuff I write for // Things I enjoy

I WRITE FOR EVERYONE. EVERY CHARACTER.

TMNT. The series I write for are 2007, 2012, ROTTMNT, and Mutant Mayhem / NEW STUFF: First nineties movie! TMNT 14 (first movie as well.).

Batman: Batman the Animated series, Christopher Nolan Trilogy, The Batman 2004, 90's batman films [1989 to 1997].

Spiritfarer: A steam game about loss. I recommend it.

Killer Frequency: Another steam game, but about saving people from a killer.

Borderlands: Borderlands 1, 2+ Tiny Tina's DLC, 3+ All DLC, Tiny Tina's wonderlands, Tales from the Borderlands.

Barbie: Only accepting Platonic currently. The barbie movie only as well.

Stardew Valley: All except for Vincent and Jas. tf is wrong with you.

Portal: 1 and 2.

What Remains Of Edith Finch. (NOT writing fanfiction for, just enjoy it. I may write an analysis or something of the like. I would love to talk about this to be quite honest.)

Glitter Force: I know it's a niche community.

The anime 86. It's about the military. iykyk.

Girls and Panzer. iykyk.

Overlord: The anime and Overlord the Undead King Oh!.

Demon Slayer: I haven't finished yet though, so I will reject them until I am finished.

Tinkerbell: The movies only. Neverbeast broke my heart. :'[

Jim Carrey CHARCTERS: I have seen almost all of his movies and dear lord I love Jim Carrey. :]

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Steins; Gate. (And Robotics; Note)

The Devil is a Part-Timer!

Glitch Techs

Television Show Suits

UglyDolls [The movie]

Rise Of The Guardians / Guardians Of Childhood: the movie and books included!

Penguins of Madagascar

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Batwheels

Gravity Falls

I'll update this as I think about it

[ezikial13]

Manga and Anime I have read throughout 2022

My next life as a villainess

Alita:Battle Angel

The Archmage returns after 4000

Spy x Family

I've been killing slimes for 300 years and maxed out my level

How Not to summon a demon lord

Overlord

So I'm a spider, so what?

The most heretical last boss Queen

Who made me a princess?

Skeleton knight in another world

Overlord A La Carte

The Legend of the Northen Blade

The Legend of Dororo and Hyakkimaru

Berserk

Zombie Cherry

RWBY: Red Like Roses

Overlord: The Undead King, oh!

Deus Ex Machina

Van Helsing vs Dracula

Mieruko-chan

Monstress

No matter how you look at it, it's you guys fault I'm not popular.

Lucky Star

Necromance

F.O.O.L

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Creepy Cat

[vewyscawy]

Maniac Mayhem

Pairing: Ainz x GN!Reader

Wordcount: 2,108

Tags: tooth rotting fluff, fluff and smut, the world item is sensitive (cliché lol), non-penetrative sex, frottage, clothed sex

Summary: Ainz has once again come into contact with the Total Maniac item, throwing his emotions into a state of chaos. Thankfully you are here to help him through his poorly hidden panic, and you both realize your feelings for each other. But... was that world item in his stomach always supposed to be that sensitive?

Panic surged through the Overlord as he, once again, fucked up with using the Total Maniac item. He thought after last time he had gotten rid of all the chaos inducing items, but alas, one remained, and of course he'd activated it unknowingly.

"Whoa," came from his side, as he looked over at you, pure panic on his face. "That felt weird."

Well, you couldn't really know how he felt at this moment. After all, he had gotten used to not feeling emotions and this item somehow made him feel everything at once, overwhelming his senses almost instantly. He knew it would cancel racial restrictions on you as well, but you didn't seem quite affected.

"Are you- do you feel all right?" the Lich stuttered, cursing himself for not being able to get even one sentence out normally in his current state.

"Hm, yeah," you said, shaking your body of some slight tingles, though nothing else really seemed to have happened to you. You felt fine, a little elated maybe. Ainz however seemed a mess, and you frowned at the man. "How about you? Do you feel all right?"

No, no he did not. Everything was so much, and he needed to get somewhere quiet fast.

He tried to get the words out, but you understood without him having to explain.

"Don't worry, we'll get you to your room so you can wait out the effects. Don't worry, I won't tell the rest. We'll keep this between us."

In a flash the both of you had teleported to his room, and you quickly helped him to the large king-size bed in the middle.

"Now, how about you sleep it off?" you said, trying to be helpful, but you suddenly remembered he was an undead; he didn't sleep. "Orrr... we can just talk for a bit until you feel better?"

Ainz was honestly so happy to have a friend like you. Last time this happened he had felt so overwhelmed and alone, and despite everything working out in the end he was glad this time he had you with him.

"Thank you, Y/N." he murmured, grabbing your hand as he sat down on the bed. You squeezed his fingers in yours as you sat down next to him, and he seemed to sigh. Happy at the feeling of you small hand in his'. You were so warm and your presence grounded him, though his emotions still seemed to go haywire.

When you started rubbing your thumb over his hand he flinched, and you quickly withdrew your hand, apologising quickly.

"No, don't apologise. I'm simply not used to... this reaction to touch I suppose. It felt good actually." the last bit was mumbled, but you still heard it and smiled at him.

"Should I continue?" you said, grin turning a bit more cheeky, and if he could frown he would.

"If you wish."

"Oh no, I'm only gonna be touching you with your explicit permission Lord Ainz," you teased him, trying to distract him a bit from his thoughts. You knew how much he had the tendency to be inside his own head, and you could imagine the item only worsening this. Your words however, had quite an influence on him in his current state.

"I, ah... You... You have my permission," he replied, looking away like a bashful schoolgirl, and you chuckled at his antics.

"Thank you." you said for good measure, as you grabbed his hand again and squeezed, noting the way he let out a tiny squeak. "So, how long do the effects of this item last?"

"About..." he started, but the both of you were interrupted by a knocking on the door. You noted how Ainz almost jumped up half a meter at the sound, fixed his robes with shaky hands, cleared his throat and said in his seemingly unaffected booming voice: "Enter."

Poor guy, his nerves seemed absolutely frayed. There was no way this was just because of the item, he was probably on edge all the time, being the great Lord Ainz and all. You barely paid attention to the maid that just came to tell something, completely focused on Ainz, your friend and fellow gamer, stuck in this world together. There had to be something you could do for him to ease his nerves, and maybe to show him how much you cared.

The moment the maid was gone you moved yourself to sit on his lap, and Ainz 'wah'-ed at you, once again caught off guard.

"Ainz... no, Satoru," you called him by his true name. "You know that you can always come to me for support and stuff right?"

The panicked red glowing eyes in his skull seemingly softened at your words, hand coming up to cup your face. "Y/N... You really are a good friend."

"I'm hoping to be a little more than that," you said, giving him a little wink, and he stuttered.

"Ah, you know I'm just a Lich in this world. I'm sure there's others that would be better suited-"

"Satoru."

He stopped talking, and you closed the distance to give him a peck on his teeth. A little gasp came from him and you felt his hand tighten on your chin a bit.

"I don't want anyone else. I want you."

His mouth fell open comically, eyes dimming in their sockets. You giggled at the sight, getting more comfortable in his lap. He wasn't soft or warm, his bones digging into your flesh, but you didn't care. It was him, and that's all that counted right now.

"Are you sure-"

You kissed his teeth again.

"Yes. And you know what, I am planning on making this very clear to you."

His eyes brightened, mouth closing with a clack.

"Oh?" It sounded like a challenge, and it was one you took gladly. After all, now seemed to be the perfect opportunity with his emotional dampers offline so to speak. Your arms wrapped around his neck, kissing down his chin to his chest, pecking his clavicle and giving one an experimental lick. He didn't seem to respond much, his sense of touch still impeded.

"What are you doing?" he asked, feeling your warmth and a slight tickling feeling, but not much else.

"I licked you," you said, chuckling, "And now I'm gonna bite you." He instantly stiffened, letting out a small sound as you bit his other clavicle. You were pretty sure the only reason he was affected was because of his emotions at the feeling and not the feeling itself, but you took it as it was, enjoying the way he seemed to get riled up. You went down, licking a long stripe down his clavicle and his breathing seemed to pick up. Considering he didn't need to breathe, you took this as a compliment, and continued downward. It wasn't until you pawed at the world item nestled between his ribs that he actually let out a sound.

And what a sound it was; startled, long, lewd, loud. It actually surprised both of you. Both flinching away from each other. Him trying to get a grip, and you trying to make sense of what just happened.

"That's... That's not supposed to be sensitive," he spluttered, and you were sure if he could blush he would be red all over.

You were drooling though. The sound he had made had gone straight to your core, and you were throbbing. So ready for him to make more of those sounds, you brought your hand over to stroke the orb again, and he did a full body shudder, mouth falling open in a silent moan.

"Oh my," you muttered, cradling the orb in both hands now, and his head fell back as he groaned. "I like this very much."

"That's..." he was panting now, gasping in mouthfuls of air as if he had lungs. It had been so long since he actually felt something, and this felt divine. He needed you to continue this. "Please don't stop."

Oh you weren't planning to. With a firm hand on his ribs you pushed the overlord back onto the soft mattress, planting yourself firmly on his jutting hipbones. It was a little bit of a balancing act, but if you did it right you could rub yourself against him as you touched the world item all over. He cursed under his breath as you leaned over him, grinning up at him as you let your tongue loll out.

The orb was cool to the touch, and tasted like nothing as you licked a long, wet stripe over the length of it. Ainz made a sound resembling choking, and you looked up to see his burning red eyes fixed on you with such desperation you could come from just his gaze alone.

"Shit," you hissed, mouth on the item as you jerked your hips against his', unable to stop yourself from chasing your own pleasure as well. You getting him off like this was somehow so very sexy, and despite you wanting to make this all about him you were getting too horny to stop yourself.

Both your hands cradled the orb, mouth licking and kissing the surface, feeling it heat up under your ministrations. Ainz had one of his hands tangled in your hair, not pushing down, but still holding you tightly. You could feel his full body shivers as you pleasured him, and you wondered if he could even come like this.

Your hips rutted against his, and sure enough there was nothing down here. Maybe, somewhere in the future, you'd find out about some sort of magic or item you could use to help him with that, but for now his jutting bones would do for you, and his world item for him.

"Y/N, I... It's too much," he grated out, voice almost pleading as his hand pulled your hair and you let him guide you away a bit, giving him some space to catch his figurative breath. Meanwhile you were still slowly rubbing yourself against him, getting yourself closer and closer to your peak. Before you could reach it you stopped yourself though, groaning and shivering as you forced yourself to move away a bit.

"Can you keep going?" you asked the lich under you as you got a semblance of control back, and he nodded at you.

"Careful though." was all he said as you kissed his lower ribs for good measure before you went down to the orb again. Your teeth clinked against it and you were rewarded with a long groan from Ainz, and a slightly tightening fist in your hair. His back arching up at you, and hips jerking up into your groin again. You answered his groan with one of your own, as he now rutted his hips against yours while you tried to keep it together enough to get him off as well.

"Fuck, Ainz," you sobbed, drool over your chin and the orb, falling over the edge with a choke as you nuzzled the item. A low, growling groan came from him, as he too seemed to reach his peak. You both lay panting on the bed, you on top of him, trying not to touch the world item too much, since you realized it was probably overly sensitive right now.

You tried to sit up, your undergarments sticking to your wet crotch. Crap, had you really just let yourself go like that?

You looked at Ainz who had his eyes closed. His face couldn't relax since it was just a skull, but he somehow seemed so at peace. No stress radiated off of him anymore, just chill vibes and you smiled.

Well, it was all worth it in the end. And fuck if it hadn't felt good.

"I'm not sure if that was just because of Total Maniac or if this is the reaction I will always get when I touch that world item of yours, but if it was that item then I sure hope you have some stashed away in the treasury somewhere." you said as you chuckled, patting his chest affectionately. His eye glow returned, fixing them on you, as he too chuckled at you.

"I never thought something good would come from that accursed thing, Y/N, but you sure proved me wrong."

"Now... how long did you say the effects of Total Maniac were again?"

He jerked upwards at your words.

"I think that was quite enough for the first time, Y/N!" he said, voice panicked, but you just chuckled at him. "Y/ N, I don't like the look on your face! ...Y/N!"

[nyaitsu-writes]

what headcanons do you have for undead with an s/o that gives them genuinely sweet and cutesy nicknames (or just tacks a -chan on the end of their name) and uses it often lol

i have,, almost 1.2k words about this. ehe. ehehehe (*/ω＼*) you just got together 2 of my favourite things in the world: cute nicknames + undead! i love writing for these four so much so and i’ve been looking forward to getting to this rq for soooo long!! especially with koga,, i have so many thoughts about koga in this,, pspsps fellow undeadPs this one is for you <3

✧ undead | when their s/o gives them cute nicknames ✧

REI SAKUMA;

✦ oh. so you’re into cute, fluffy and sugary sweet nicknames? and you want a reaction out of him? listen up, this man here is the king of demons. the overlord of vampires. and the mastermind behind the best nicknames in the universe! and yet you call him your sugar bunny and rei sakuma is already on his knees, clutching his ancient vampire heart and trying not to cry. why. how. why and how are so sweet he’s going to melt and it will be your fault! i hope you’re prepared to get your own personal vampire puddle (*￣▽￣*)

✦ putting that aside, rei has 0% shame and will let you call him however you see fit as long as he’s allowed to do the exact same thing. outside of his wide collection of unique and personal nicknames, he also enjoys trying things out of his comfort zone! get ready for the day this almost 180 cm tall man calls you cupcake with his deep voice. ohhh you flushed? you’re his cupcake now <3

✦ most of the time, rei can’t resist a chuckle as he pats your head and lovingly messes up your hair when you call him any of your sweet names. he’s been called a lot of different things throughout his life, some were good and many weren’t as nice but yours makes him so happy. because it means that you are comfortable enough around him to the point you don’t feel embarrassed of calling him like that, that you care for him and want to share your own personal love language with no one other than himself. and that makes rei absolutely ecstatic.

KOGA OOGAMI;

✦ the first time you called him koga-chan he almost had a heart attack. you called him what again? he’s torn between wanting to kiss you or fight you (or both!), which becomes an essential part of your relationship as soon as he listens to all your new names for him. you come up with a special nickname for him and it has to be something cutesy and silly? how dare you hurt his pride like that!

✦ ...but deep down he doesn’t mind that much. see, he has to keep up his image as the big bad wolf, he can’t let everyone see you have such a strong influence on him （︶^︶） not even you! so he’ll complain, and growl and bark every time you call him something other than his name, telling you to find a proper name for someone as cool as him.

✦ and yet koga-chan sounds too good for you to drop it so soon. maybe, as long as you keep it for both of your ears only, koga might be willing to make a slight concession. maybe. he will ask for something in return, though! it’s not like… like he enjoys your attention after all or something like that. if you pat his head while you’re sitting together, mumbling a soft koga-chan he’ll flush beet red and press his head against your shoulder, grumbling in annoyance but enjoying the feeling of your hands in his hair too much to pull away. see, if you give him something good he’ll put it up with whatever cute name you have in store for him~

✦ now, you might have koga pinned down in private but in public? he will die if anyone, especially other undead members, find out about the names. and you can bet it took them just a couple of days. you had decided to accompany him to practice and probably called him like that on instinct. now he’s everyone’s “sweetheart”. rehearsals, outside work, lives: i’m afraid teasing has reached to each and every possible joint activity for undead, leaded by rei with kaoru as his vice captain. luckily, this means koga has built some extra tolerance to cute nicknames so you can try even more names with him. his sacrifice was for a greater good after all!

ADONIS OTOGARI;

✦ adonis is sincerely confused. he sees himself as someone strong and fairly big, some people have even called him scary. so, why are you calling him sweet pie? is he a pie? is he related to pies in some way? maybe the language barrier is proving to be more of a problem than he anticipated… it is then that you explain that is a special term of endearment and adonis is already nodding in understandment, smiling kindly. 

✦ you like using cute nicknames? adonis will absolutely indulge you. he isn’t one for using nicknames himself but when you propose having special names for each other he wants to give it a try. he calls you little bird. little bird and sweet pie. the sugar rush is so strong all of your friends go one out of two ways: it’s either sobbing at how absolutely adorable you two are or trying to run away from the fluff overload because their heart can’t take it (*/ω＼*)

✦ adonis. ado-chan. donis-chan. donut-chan? talk about sweet names that fit him! o(*°▽°*)o he doesn’t quite get it but he can’t help but feel all fuzzy on the inside every time he sees you smile while calling him like that. and adonis will always answer. it’s the special name you gave him so it’s his name now! even if some friends try to tease him about it he’ll pay it no attention: it makes you happy and that’s his top priority!

KAORU HAKAZE;

✦ cinnamon roll? are you sure that you don’t want to reconsider your new nickname for him? something more… charming, maybe? love of your life? oh, that one got him just right. look at his cheeks, he has blushed! 

✦ getting over the initial surprise, kaoru is absolutely on board with your personal naming sense. what better way to show the world that you’re made for each other than using the absolute cutest, most sugar rush inducing names ever? it’s not that he doesn’t mind, he actually likes it. he likes it to the point he’ll get pouty if you call him just by his name and ask if you’re angry with him, wrapping his arms around you so you get absolutely zero escape chance until you explain yourself!

✦ kaoru, happily holding your hand, will stick out his tongue to anyone who tries to make fun of him for being in such a sweet and lovely relationship. they’re just jealous, hmp! not everyone gets such an affectionate s/o after all, he’s just that lucky. 

✦ because you’re just so nice and sweet? you’re his sunshine (❁´◡`❁) warm and gentle like the sun, always making his days just brighter and brighter no matter the season. kaoru doesn’t care if people are watching and will always have his little shows of affection with you when you call him any of your special nicknames: kissing the top of your head, holding you between his arms, kissing your cheek. he gets so energized just by having you around and listening to your voice. you’re open about your feelings, showing him that he’s genuinely loved each and every day. and it feels so good <3

[the-blind-geisha]

I’M SORRY… WHAT???

The artist of the Overlord Undead King Oh followed me on Twitter??? ♥♥

[thetownwecallhome]

DIALOGUE (LEFT):

JACK: Sally made me an ugly Christmas sweater. Do like it?

MRS. C: Oh Jack! You’re just adorable in that get up!

JACK: That’s technically an insult where I come from :)

---

(TOP RIGHT)

MRS. C: Don’t fret Jack, dear. The elves just need some...time to get to know the real you, that’s all ~

---

(BOTTOM RIGHT) 

JACK: All you need now is a fearsome grimace!

MRS. C: Boo! How’s that?

JACK: A good first try!

---

While Sandy Claws has issues accepting Jack the undead son he never had, Mrs. Claws is a lot more comfortable with him.

She thought the mastermind who oversaw the kidnapping her husband was going to be a ruthless monster-overlord who enjoys the pain of children. Boy was she surprised when she actually met the Pumpkin King face to face.

Now, they seem to be on pretty good terms.

[meka-chat]

Favorite songs? My favorite is "in the dark" by Bring Me The Horizon.

D.Va: I really like “Just A Game” by MandoPony

Dae-hyun: he literally made that song ABOUT you

D.Va: okay fine uhh... “BOOMBAYAH” by BLACKPINK 

Dae-hyun: I guess I’ll go with “Never Give Up” by NEFFEX

Casino: you sure it’s not “Friendzoned” by S3RL?

Dae-hyun: shut up 

D.Va: why would it be that?

Casino: oh no reason, anyways It’s either “I’m In Miami Bitch” by LMFAO, “Shots” also by LMFAO, or  “Everywhere I Go” by Hollywood Undead for me 

King: it’s gotta be “Only One King” by Tommee Profitt and Jung Youth 

D.Mon: How original

King: oh screw off

D.Mon: “Popular Monster” by Falling In Reverse, I also like a lot of songs by Skillet such as “Monster” and “Sick Of It”

D.Va: Oh I really like “Hero” By Skillet as well

Olivia: “Lights Down Low” by Maejor and Waka Flocka Flame or maybe “Take It Off” by Kesha 

Hammond: “Gladiator” by Zayde Wolf

Overlord: that fits really well actually

D.Mon: it really does

Overlord:  “Everything Is AWESOME!!!” By Tegan and Sara feat. The Lonely Island from the Lego Movie

Captain Myung: Why can't you all be more like Seung-hwa

Overlord: Actually it’s “ I Lied, I'm Dying Inside”  The Prhymekid Remix or “Everything’s Not Awesome” from the second lego movie

Captain Myung: ...

Captain Myung: “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance 

[sean-gaffney]

Isekai Quartet 2 End Card 4, by  Jūami, the “Overlord the Undead King Oh!” artist.

[royalbloodedbastards]

self-para // inconveniences

DATE: Saturday, December 26, 2020 CHARACTERS: Roy, Sefa, and Linnaea ABOUT: Roy meets Linnaea. Sefa is there.

Give me a minute to unburden myself here. It is so damn inconvenient to be the son of a loa.

Even all the way over in New Orleans, I heard all about these demigods living in New Athens, this metropolitan city on Long Island that was built by the gods. Freakin’ nature spirits have been gossiping about it from coast to coast, saying the streets are paved with marble and there are fountains of youth. And you know what? I believe it. The Greek gods love to meddle in the affairs of their children, cause them problems and then make up for it by giving them all these extravagant gifts. Probably makes them feel young again, like they’re more than just pretty figureheads sitting on golden thrones.

But there’s no metropolitan haven like that for the kids of the loa. There aren’t even that many of us to begin with, definitely not enough to stand up to spirits that have way better things to do than spoil their kids. And you know what? It’s better that way. I don’t need a rich god daddy to build cities and subsidize my living for me. Nah. I love living high-flood-risk, mold-infested, landlord-controlled housing.

Freakin’ love it.

The real inconvenience is all the crap I inherited from my dad.

Like, take this guy for instance, the one that’s staring me down from the other side of his blinding headlights. First of all, inconsiderate. Turn off your damn headlights, asshole, you’re gonna give me eye damage. Secondly, why is this guy looking at me like I’m going to kill him? I’m literally standing here in a parking lot, completely unarmed, while he’s staring me down from the driver side of a literal automobile. In terms of danger, I would say the redhead’s got the upper hand. But even so, I can’t totally blame him. I know the look he’s giving me.

My dad—er, sorry. My sperm donor’s got a real intense look about him. Makes sense, with him being the Master of the Dead and whatever, but it’s not really a look I wanted for myself. I try really hard to dress nice and carry myself well, but these freakin’ purple eyes and the comically-on-the-nose skull-shaped vitiligo across my face really don’t help my cause. The kids in middle school used to say that it was a tattoo, that I applied bleach on my skin in the shape of skull to look cool and that it probably messed up my eyes in the process. The rumors got so bad the principal pulled me aside to ask if I was engaging in ‘potentially harmful cosmetic procedures’. I told him to go fuck himself.

Oh, that’s the other thing too. I can’t control what comes out of my mouth sometimes. I’ll be thinking one thing and something completely unrelated, and oftentimes pretty vulgar, will just come flying out. I’m not even much on cursing, it just happens. Another thing I get from my dad, apparently.

“I have her,” the ginger calls out to me from behind the beams of light. “She’s in the backseat.”

It takes a full ten seconds for my eyes to adjust from the vicious assault of his headlights. Then, the shape of a person starts forming through the backseat window. “Holy fuck.” Pardon my French. “You really went for it. I didn’t ask you to break her nose.”

“Yeah, well…” He trails off into a mumble, like he’s embarrassed about it. “She deserved it.”

If this guy didn’t have a chick tied up in the backseat of his car, I would’ve pegged him for a total soft body. One of those only-drinks-bottled-water types.

Eh, I still do.

“Bring her inside,” I instruct. I don’t stick around to see how he’s planning to get her out of the car without looking suspicious. Whatever. Not my job. I key card my way into the motel room and wait for him to bring the girl in. I watch as he slings her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and waddles his way toward the door. “You can set her down on the bed.” He does as he’s told and drops her down onto the nasty bedding. A little blood smears onto the sheets, probably adding another layer to the hooker blood and cum that’s already baked into the bed. “Does she need medical attention?”

“Nah,” the ginger responds. “I mean… Probably not. They’ll just give her some ambrosia back at camp.”

Ambrosia, wow. The literal food of the gods and they just give it out to their kids like cough drops. Freakin’ Greeks.

“Well, I need her awake to talk.”

“She was awake half an hour ago.”

“And now she’s unconscious.”

“Yeah, but she was awake before.”

“And now,” I repeat slowly, “she is un-con-scious.”

Ginger sighs and kneels by the bed. He slaps her unceremoniously across the face a few times. “Be gentle,” I plead in a tone that sounds very unintentionally sarcastic. “You already broke her nose.”

“Hey,” he barks. “Wake up.” Jesus Fictional Christ, this guy is a brute. “Hey, do you hear me? Wake up.”

The girl stirs and pushes his hand away. “What do you want?”

“You’re awake,” I state, reiterating the obvious. “Good. I wasn’t in the mood to dig a grave tonight.”

The girl lifts her head and grimaces at me. “Are you Gabriele?”

“No, you’ve got the wrong number. I’m Roy.” I stick out my hand for her to shake, but hers are tied. “Oh yeah. Sorry.” I drop it.

“What the fuck do you want with me?”

“I heard from a little birdie that you’ve become quite the budding, young necromancer.”

“She’s what?” Ginger looks at me concernedly.

“A necromancer,” I repeat. “Reeling spirits back from the dead like a nasty little fisherman.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she spits.

“Au contraire, I have friends in all sorts of places. Cities, villages, the woods outside of New Athens.” The color drains from her face. Well, all the color except for the crusty red stain around her nose. “Nobody is ever truly alone, you see. Even the most desperate of men, on their last dying breaths, as they succumb to the fear that not even God is watching over them… There is somebody watching. It may not be their god, but someone is watching.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Right to the point, then. Good.” I sit down on the opposite end of the bed, giving enough distance to make sure that none of the blood she’s spitting gets onto my jeans. “The gods are not happy with you.”

“Hades?” Ginger chimes in.

“Yes, that’s one,” I respond with a nod. “And Hel, the Norse goddess. And the Shinigami. Ever heard of them? In fact, Chitragupta, Xipe Totec, King Yama, Xorn—all of the gods are pretty mad.”

“Why are they mad at me?” The girl’s voice cracks as she speaks. I can tell I’m getting into her head. “I I have nothing to do with them.”

“But you do. You see, when you disrespect the laws of one god, you disrespect them all,” I explain. “The laws of life and death are sacred, no matter which theology you subscribe to. The living belong in the land of the living, and the dead belong in the Underworld, the afterlife, Heaven and Hell—whatever you want to call it. But if one underworld starts giving out free passes to the land of the living, then all of the spirits in all those other places I mentioned are going to start to get jealous. Suddenly, you have millions, if not billions, of undead hearing about this one girl who managed to get her brother a second chance, and they all start to think, why shouldn’t I get one too. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

The room is silent for a moment. I think that means my explanation worked.

Thank freakin’ god.

A bit of a sidetrack confession here—I’m totally lying my ass off. All the other gods probably don’t give a shit, it’s not like the dead are going to form an uprising against their literally omnipotent, all-powerful overlords. In fact, one of the gods I mentioned was actually an X-Men and I’m so freakin’ relieved neither of them seemed to pick up on that. If I’m being real here, I’m just doing this because I was hired to.

The third reason it’s inconvenient to be the son of a loa: all the gods suddenly assume that just because I have these powers that I’m entitled to use them to help others.

Look, all I ever wanted to do was listen to classical music and play Animal Crossing in bed, eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Arizona Iced Tea. Hades was the one who sought me out and thought, ‘hey, wouldn’t it be a great idea to ruin this kid’s life by making him into a mercenary for all these tiny deities and death spirits to use at will?’ And, like I said before, spirits and gods love to gossip. One death god heard that there was a mercenary willing to do the dirty, busy work and they recommended him to a friend, who recommended him to another friend, who recommended him to another friend, et cetera and so forth. And all the while, my New Horizons island is in freakin’ shambles because nobody is giving me a free day to clean up all the weeds that have sprouted all over my outdoor-waterfall-patisserie.

“So what do you want from me,” the girl repeats, “if not just to kill me?”

“What I want…” I lean in close so she can see right into the lavender glint of my irises. These eyeballs are a pain in the ass for grocery shopping but for times like this, I swear there’s no better weapon. “Is relief.”

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 2/24/21

SEAN: As I write this, Texas is being hit with blizzards. Why not curl up… in your dark house with no power… with some manga?

Airship gives us the print volume of the 2nd I’m in Love with the Villainess, and also a print volume for Skeleton Knight in Another World 8.

ASH: I haven’t finished reading the first volume of I’m in Love with the Villainess quite yet, but I suspect I’ll want to pick up the second.

SEAN: Denpa’s site says that The Girl with the Sanpaku Eyes 2 is out next week.

J-Novel Club has a trio of light novels. By the Grace of the Gods 6, Campfire Cooking in Another World 9, and The Greatest Magicmaster’s Retirement Plan 8.

On the manga side, they have The Faraway Paladin 4 and Seirei Gensouki: Spirit Chronicles 5.

Kodansha has two print debuts, though we’ve seen them both digitally before. Cells at Work: Baby! is essentially the superdeformed version of the series.

ASH: I enjoyed the original series, but haven’t managed to keep up with all the spinoffs!

SEAN: A Sign of Affection (Yubisaki to Renren) is one that I’ve gushed about before, but here I am gushing about it again. This story of a boy and girl meeting and falling in love, it’s all about communication, as our heroine is hearing impaired, and our globe trotting hero does not know sign language. Fans of Kimi ni Todoke should check this out.

MICHELLE: I missed this when it was a digital debut, so I’m grateful for a second chance at it.

ANNA: Amazingly, this is one of the very few Kodansha digital titles that I have read, and it is absolutely wonderful. It is by suu Morishita, so fans of Shortcake Cake should absolutely pick it up. I’m sure I bought the first couple volumes digitally due to Sean’s gushing and just never posted about it. Morishita does some wonderfully innovative storytelling as the two main characters figure out how to communicate with each other, and the hearing-impaired heroine is portrayed with great sensitivity. I’m so rooting for Yuki and her first real romance!!

ASH: I’m really looking forward to reading this one now that it’s in print. Can’t pass it up with recommendations like that.

MELINDA: Well, how can I possibly resist after that glowing recommendation?

SEAN: Also in print: Heaven’s Design Team 3. The anime is currently airing.

ASH: I have legitimately learned things about animal life reading this series.

SEAN: Digitally the debut is How Do You Do, Koharu? (Gokigenyou, Koharu-san), by the author of (and in the same universe as) Say I Love You. Koharu (the younger sister of Yamato, the male lead in Say I Love You) prefers to keep her friends solely on the digital side… till she’s tempted by a follower who she might want to be more than just friends with. This runs, of course, in Dessert. I hope it is a bit less drama-filled than its parent series.

MICHELLE: I’d seen this one on the release calendar but didn’t realize it had any connection to Say I Love You. Interesting!

SEAN: We also see DAYS 22, Harem Marriage 2, Maid in Honey 6 (the final volume), My Best () Butler 6, My Unique Skill Makes Me OP Even at Level 1 2, Shangri-La Frontier 2, What I Love About You 3, and When We’re in Love 5.

Seven Seas’s biggest debut may be one that came out first nearly 10 years ago. After a period where it seemed that you couldn’t go a week without a new volume, the Alice in the Country of _________ series vanished, allegedly due to licensing difficulties with the original creator. But now it’s back… in digital form! It’s getting rolled out over several weeks. This week we get The Clockmaker’s Story and Love Labyrinth of Thorns (Julius) and The Mad Hatter’s Late Night Tea Party 1 & 2 (Blood).

ANNA: I think I’m tapped out of Alice in the Country of stories but I’m amused to see these being released again.

ASH: Oh, wow! I had somehow previously missed this news.

SEAN: In actual new titles, the debut is Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon (Kaketa Tsuki to Donuts), a yuri office romance story that runs in Comic Yuri Hime. Always happy to see more non-high school students.

And there is The Ancient Magus’ Bride: Wizard’s Blue 2, Days of Love at Seagull Villa 2, Failed Princesses 3, and How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? 5.

MICHELLE: I still haven’t even read volume 1 of Seagull Villa!

SEAN: Square Enix Manga debuts Ragna Crimson, a Gangan Joker title whose summary has the words “dark fantasy” and “revenge-fueled quest” and I stopped caring.

In much better Square Enix manga news, we get A Man and His Cat 3.

MICHELLE: Yay!

MELINDA: Yes!

SEAN: Apologies to Tentai Books, I missed their debut light novel which is actually out later this week. World Teacher: Special Agent in Another World (World Teacher: Isekaishiki Kyouiku Agent) is another of those books where the plot is described by the title.

Tokyopop has a debut. The Cat Proposed (Bakeneko Katatte Sourou) is a one-shot BL title from Canna. A man watches a play and sees one of the actors has cat ears. Turns out he’s a bakeneko, and has chosen our protagonist as his spouse!

There’s also the 3rd and final volume of Still Sick.

Vertical has Ajin: Demi-Human 16 and Bakemonogatari’s 7th manga volume.

Yen On has had a few date shifts (try to contain your shock), but we do get a few new volumes this week… and two old ones, as Haruhi Suzumiya 3 and 4 get reprints. 4 is considered the series’ high point.

And there is Do You Love Your Mom (and Her Two-Hit, Multi-Target Attacks?) 8, The Greatest Demon Lord Is Reborn As a Typical Nobody 5, In the Land of Leadale 2, Konosuba 13, and May These Leaden Battlegrounds Leave No Trace 3.

There’s also a Yen Press title I missed last week, as it’s out this Saturday. Megumi Hayashibara’s The Characters Taught Me Everything: Living Life One Episode at a Time is her new memoir, and Yen is putting it out digitally the same day it comes out in Japan!

ASH: I really hope this is released in print at some point, too! It should be really good.

SEAN: Because of various delays and date shifts, Yen Press has FIVE manga debuts next week. We start with Adachi & Shimamura, the manga version of which we’ve already seen the light novel and the anime. Please enjoy Adachi’s gay panic and Shimamura’s attempts to be a functioning human being in a new medium. This runs in Dengeki Daioh.

Days on Fes is a series about two friends going to rock festivals, and that’s about all it is, from what I hear. Sounds like a Laid-Back Camp vibe. This runs in Comic Newtype.

ASH: Oh, that could fun.

MELINDA: I might be into this? As someone who used to go to a lot of music festivals, that is.

SEAN: The Girl without a Face (Kao ga Nai Onnanoko) is a one-shot from Comic Beam. A boy and girl are in love. She’s a bit… expressionless – literally – but that’s just fine. This looks both cute and spooky?

ASH: This could be fun, too!

SEAN: Golden Japanesque – A Splendid Yokohama Romance is the sort of josei title folks were BEGGING for ten years ago. It runs in Flowers’ online magazine, and its author did Kare First Love, for Viz fans with long memories. A Meiji-era title about a half-Japanese girl who’s discriminated against and the boy who thinks she’s a fairy-tale character.

MICHELLE: Ooh! I actually do own all of Kare First Love, as it happens.

ANNA: I am a Viz fan with a long memory and I think I own most of Kare First Love too. I am officially intrigued and will be picking this up.

ASH: Same!

MELINDA: Same here!

SEAN: Lastly there is ID:Invaded #Brake-Broken, a title which hurts me when I try to say it out loud. It’s the sequel to the anime, and runs in Young Ace.

We also get Eniale & Dewiela 2, Mieruko-chan 2, Overlord: The Undead King-Oh! 6, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 13, Slasher Maidens 2, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun 7, The White Cat’s Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King’s Lap 2, and A Witch’s Love at the End of the World 2.

ASH: I’ll likely be picking up a few of those, too.

SEAN: What manga melts the weather all around you?

By: Sean Gaffney

[helpfandom]

Helpfandom ask Rules:

Also includes things that may be important if you request.

NO smut / smutty asks. I am not willing to write that.

I don't write gendered pieces unless it is specific to the character. Ex: Handsome Jack. He puts Angel's gender onto you. Otherwise, it's gender neutral.

No real people. It's okay if it's a Live-action Character (Such as April O'Neil from TMNT 90's movies. Catwoman, Anne Hathaway version. Truman from the Truman show. Robotnik from the Sonic Movie.) But I don't like writing for REAL people, I don't see the appeal. It's only okay to write and read fanfiction, to analyze or to transform the person, even simp over (I recognize that some people do that) IF IT'S FICTIONAL.

If there is a team-up, they need to have interacted at least once (1), IN CANON for me to write them. For example, Leonardo (TMNT) and Karai (TMNT) is allowed. Harley Quinn and Joker is allowed, but Handsome Jack(Borderlands 2) and TK Baha (Borderlands 1) isn't allowed. Catwoman (Nolan Trilogy) and Joker (Nolan Trilogy) isn't allowed. My personal opinion on Team-up is that it provides a great exercise in studying the psychology of the characters.

I am an almost entirely Platonic blog, but I may do some Romantic.

I almost explicitly write Yandere, for the Psychological aspect of it, but maybe if I really know the character I will write them as a Non-Yandere. Something that y'all should know is that I LOVE psychology, and studying the psychology of characters, which is why I write fanfiction.

Y'all please tell me if you want a scenario, an analysis or headcanons! If not specified I will assume headcanons.

What I write for under cut!

TMNT. The series I write for are 2007, 2012, ROTTMNT, and Mutant Mayhem. I, unfortunately, have not seen the 80's television series, the 2014 movies, and I have not recently watched the 90's trilogy.

Batman: Batman the Animated series, Christopher Nolan Trilogy, The Batman 2004.

Borderlands: Borderlands 1, 2+ Tiny Tina's DLC, 3+ All DLC, Tiny Tina's wonderlands, Tales from the Borderlands.

Barbie: Only accepting Platonic currently. The barbie movie only as well.

Stardew Valley: There's no DLC or sequel as far as I am aware.

Portal: 1 and 2.

What Remains Of Edith Finch. (NOT writing fanfiction for, just enjoy it. I may write about Molly though.)

Glitter Force: I know it's a niche community.

The anime 86. It's about the military. iykyk.

Girls and Panzer. iykyk.

Overlord: The anime and Overlord the Undead King Oh!.

Demon Slayer: I haven't finished yet though, so I will reject them until I am finished.

Tinkerbell: The movies only. Neverbeast broke my heart. :'[

Jim Carrey CHARCTERS: I have seen almost all of his movies and dear lord I love Jim Carrey. :]

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Suits [Television]

Steins; Gate. (And Robotics; Note)

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Select: Biohazrd

With the advent of Peninsula’s release, the sequel of Train to Busan, i wanted to take some time and spotlight a few of my favorites Zombie films. My love for Zombie flicks stems more from the circumstances around the outbreak, rather than the monster effects and whatnot, themselves. Don’t get me wrong, the make-up in these things are almost always spectacular, but, for me, the existentialism is where the true horror of these films truly lie. I like the exploration of humanity and lack thereof in such dire situations. That whole man/monster motif. I am a sucker for those tropes and the study of human nature. For me, those make the best kinds films, that mirror to ourselves, and you get a ton of that in zombie flicks. Now, admittedly, i have seen a ton of these things and it was hard to whittle it down to just ten selections so this is another one of those wonky lists. Look, man, i like movies and this is my list so I'll do what i want!

10b. Overlord

Overlord is an interesting case. It started out as a spec script, then got made as part of the Cloverfield cinematic universe, but dropped that aspect after Cloverfield Paradox sh*t the bed. I think that was for the best because this movie is f*cking insane. It has nothing to do with Cloverfield and everything to do with Resident Evil and Wolfenstein. Indeed, this is everything a Wolfenstein adaption should be. Nazis and zombies and Nazi zombie super-soldiers - oh my! In all seriousness, this movie is one of the most violent, excessive, gory, cinematic pleasures i have ever experienced. Overlord knows exactly what it is and executes that vision with such fervent, bloody, sloppy, enthusiasm, you can’t help but have a great time.

10a. The Crazies

I saw the original version of this film when i was a kid on television. I thought it was an interesting take on the zombie formula and kept it’s existence in my back pocket. The Crazies was the first time i understood that a zombie didn’t need to be undead. This film predated my experiences with first Resident Evil game so infection was a brand new trope for me. Fast forward several years, and the remake drops. It’s so much better that the original. It is a low budget film, which means they need to focus on character and atmosphere to drive the tension home, both of which are absolutely excellent. The Crazies is harrowing, stressful, and brilliant. Both versions are good but the 2010 remake, in my humble opinion, is superior in every way.

9. The Night Eats the World

I stumbled upon this by accident while perusing amazon. I remember hearing about it and thought the premise was interesting. Imagine being locked in one of those dope ass, old timey, Paris apartments during a zombie apocalypse? That hook, alone, got me to bite but the performance given by Anders Danielsen Lie as the lead, Sam, was heart-wrenching. This is a very somber take on the isolation aspect of the zombie genre. This is I Am Legend but with a sobering reality infused in every scene. It was horrifying watching Sam’s mental degradation but a powerful watch overall.

8. Life After Beth

Life after Beth is probably the only light-hearted zombie film of this list and for good reason; It’s outstanding. I debated whether to put Zombieland or Burying the Ex on this list, both excellent in their own right, but i had way more fun watching this one, than either of those. That’s high praise because the first Zombieland is one of my absolute favorite films. Life After Beth is a unique take on the whole genre and Aubrey Plaza as the titular Beth was excellent. I would say it’s about as good as Zombieland, maybe a little better. Mostly because of Plaza. I really like Aubrey Plaza.

7. Deadgirl

This is actually Deadgirl’s second time making a Select list. I figured there would eventually be crossover as some flicks encapsulate so many different genres but it’s surprising that it would be this one. Actually, i think the first was Doctor Sleep with the Stephen King and Vampire lists, but Deadgirl is worth a double-dip, too. It’s super low budget and focuses on a rather interesting take on the Zombie genre. I don’t want to get into it too much because the film, itself, is worth a watch. So go do that. Go watch Deadgirl. Right now.

6. Maggie

This was a legitimate surprise for me to see. Maggie takes place several years after the actual outbreak. Zombies are a thing. They’ve been a thing. Humanity has already crossed that bridge and the virus is just the way of life. they’re the new normal and mankind is busy as much as usual after literally the dead rising from their graves. Precautions are taken to mitigate infection but they still occur with alarming frequency. Maggie is about a father who has to come to terms with his daughter’s infection. You slowly watch this man’s despair and desperation as the inevitable eventually befalls his one and only daughter. It’s stark, and bleak, and f*cking devastating. There isn’t a happy ending to this, it just ends. I loved this movie, man, and a lot of it has to do with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s performance. That sh*t was amazing and easily the best role I've ever seen in. I’m a huge Terminator fan but this performance as f*cking enthralling. Abigail Breslin is awful in it, though.

5. Cargo

Before i get into it’s merits as a zombie flick, i just need to say, Cargo is an excellent film in itself. Strong ass performances. A gripping and emotional narrative. Gorgeous cinematography. Deft direction. It’s an objectively beautiful film. Now, as a zombie outing, this motherf*cker is full of the despair. The whole f*cking thing is an exercise in constant, aggressive, tragedy. Don’t misunderstand, it’s excellent, but it will leave you exhausted by the end. It wraps up nicely and with a subtle tone of hope, but you will be emotionally exhausted, for sure, by the time those credit’s roll.

4. The Girl with All the Gifts

I love this movie if only because they took the cordycep route in regards to infection. The zombie story i wrote way back when i was in high school for my creative writing course, used that as the catalyst for my zombie shenanigans. I always found that sh*t interesting, like, what would happen if that parasitic relationship jumped species. Then The Last of Us came out and i was disillusioned because the story they told, turned out to be so much better than mine. I felt that same emotion when i first saw this movie. The Girl with All the Gifts is brilliant. It’s stunningly human while being objectively horrifying. The zombies play a part, sure, but it’s the inevitable extinction of humanity that drives this film, that haunts most of these characters. It’s X-Men but with zombies instead of mutants and executed in a way that feels disturbingly real. Plus, and i cannot stress this enough, Sennia Nanua is f*cking outstanding as Melanie. To be so young and to give such an emotional performance was a true joy to witness.

3. Night of the Living Dead

The classic that kicked off an entire genre and still, even after fifty-two years, one of the best examples of it to ever be made. Night was terrifying back in the day, mostly because of different sensibilities, but the horror of that film lied with the people trapped in the house. The true monsters were never the zombies, but humanity, itself. It was watching those survivors slowly turn on one another. It was the realization that people will eat each other when pressed with such harrowing events. I used to think that wasn’t true but then Covid happened and people were trampling each other for toilet paper. That was insane. People would absolutely act this way in real life so that ending, as f*cking abrupt and terrible as it was, rang true. That sh*t is what real horror is all about.

2. The Wailing

The Wailing is the first of two South Korean zombie flicks to make this list. Indeed, the other is so excellent, it had to share the top spot but this one, for me, was an easy pick at two. I’ve seen I’ve given The Wailing multiple viewings and every time, without fail, i am pulled into that world. It’s a very methodical film, not in the sense of pacing, but more in the sense of plotting. This thing has a story to tell and you have to commit to it being told. It is a lot to ask but, like so many other films that ask this of you, the experience is incredibly rewarding. Don’t let the fact this thing is Korean language stop you from taking in a true masterpiece. It’s gorgeous, performed adeptly, and shot wonderfully. The environment and atmosphere, alone, are worth the price of admission.

1b. Train to Busan

If 1a didn’t exist, Train to Busan would be the greatest zombie flick i have ever seen. It hits that sweet spot between the human and horror elements perfectly. Setting it on a train makes for some of the most tension filled scenes ever captured of film. For those of you that prefer a more action packed, zombie outing, Busan delivers that in spades, while giving you very real, very emotional, performances to boot. You feel for these characters and the bleakness of their plight. You feel the desperation as the world collapses around them. This movie, zombie elements remove, would still be f*cking fantastic. Add the horrors of an undead apocalypse, and you have one of the most devastating accusations of humanity ever captured on film.

1a. 28 Days Later

This is the greatest zombie film i have ever seen, hands down. It does everything Train to Busan does, AND sticks that feeling of isolation so well. In a lot of ways, this is more a study on the horrors humanity can commit in the face of oblivion, and i dig that. There are shades of that aspect permeating throughout all of these films but the first third of 28 Days Later nails that bleak loneliness with such aggressiveness, it’s borderline sadistic. This was my first experience with Cillian Murphy and i was thoroughly impressed. Dude was incredible in this role so imagine my complete lack of surprise when he popped up in Batman Begins. It’s said he got Scarecrow because of Days and i can totally see that. Watching this man’s career blossom has been a real pleasure but, for me, his Jim will always be the role i think off when people say his name. If you’ve never seen 28 Days Later, rectify that at once. It’s an incredible, gorgeous film that is definitely worth a watch.

Honorable Mentions: Burying the Ex, Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Dead Snow, Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Day of the Dead, World War Z, Contracted, REC, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Gallowalkers, Pet Sematary, Resident Evil

[yenpress]

ICYMI: We announced 8 new licenses for October 2019! Pre-orders will open soon.

+ Overlord: Undead King OH! (manga)

+ Kemono Friends a la Carte (manga)

+ A Mysterious Job Called Oda Nobunaga (novel)

+ Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies Moved to a Starter Town (novel)

+ The Witch’s Printing Office (manga)

+ The Greatest Mao is Reborn to Get Friends (novel)

+ World’s Strongest Rearguard: Labyrinth Country & Dungeon Seekers (novel)

+ your name. The Official Visual Guide

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #19: Favorite Minions/Henchmen

1.      Minions (Overlord [Video Game])

There is only one creature we call ‘Minion’ in this house, and it is the Minions from Overlord. (The game, not the anime.) The Minions are the perfect… well, minions. They’re design is mostly goofy, but there’s also something kind of horrible to them; they’re like somebody threw an imp, a spider monkey, and a goblin in a sack and didn’t open it up again until the screaming stopped. Those buggy yellow eyes, the hunched backs, the crooked tails, the shrill voices; this is what pops into my head when I think of what an evil minion is supposed to be like. They are utterly and totally devout to their master; they have one purpose in life, and that is to serve you. They think absolutely nothing of throwing themselves into a forge just to upgrade your weapons or taking on a monster just because you tell them to.

Watching them swarm over a cyclops like a nest of army ants is always fun, but that hivemind mentality shouldn’t be mistaken for a lack of individual. The Minions are kind of precursors to the uruks from Shadow of Mordor; the longer they live and the more fights they survive, the more unique they become. They’re given names and titles, and they start gathering weapons and armor. It’s never made clear what exactly the Minions are in Overlord, but the implication isn’t that an Overlord chooses them; they choose the Overlord. Without the Minions, and Overlord is just some spooky adventurer in a suit of armor. The Minions make the man, and the fact that you need them as much as they need you is a pretty interesting power dynamic.

2.      X-49 (Samurai Jack)

Just… do I really have to say anything? It was one of the best episodes in Samurai Jack, one of the best animated series of all time. And the music and the writing and the cinematography and oh god it’s all coming back at once

3.      Igor (Young Frankenstein)

There never was an Igor in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein; he’s a fabricated character at least partially concocted from Edgar Allan Poe’s Hop-Frog that somehow wormed himself into horror mythology. And honestly, thank goodness for that or we wouldn’t have had Marty Feldman’s fantastic performance for Young Frankenstein. Feldman looks like he was born for the role; his exophthalmos was a problem he dealt with his entire life, but Igor is just one example of how he incorporated his condition into his comedy personas. Igor is a good comedic counterpart to Gene Wilder’s Frankenstein in a classic double-act kind of way. Where Wilder’s Frankenstein is driven to escape his destiny or conform to it, Feldman’s Igor is committed to his role from the beginning, with no real perspective on it in the grand scheme of things. Igor undercuts Frankenstein’s deliberate melodrama to remind the audience that it’s all a joke.

4.      Kobolds (Dungeons and Dragons)

Kobolds are one of the greatest success stories in tabletop roleplaying monsters. Kobolds have been in Dungeons and Dragons since the beginning, but they spent 1st and 2nd edition as basically another kind of goblin. Outside a few rare exceptions, kobolds were just an adventurer’s in-between step as they transitioned from clearing out rats in cellars to goblins in caves. For 3rd edition, the designers felt they needed to give kobolds something; a hook, a feature, a raison d’etre. So the design team though, “What if the littlest monsters had dreams about being the biggest? What if kobolds thought they were dragons?” The rest is history; kobolds became dragon minions, cultists who firmly believe that they are descended from the great wyrms they worship. Inside ever little kobold beats the heart of a mighty dragon, and their pluck and determination pushes them to reach for heights most humanoid races never even dream of. Kobolds are not only great examples of how to make a monster interesting from a game design perspective, but also of how endearing characters can be when you give them goals.

5.      Pleiades (Overlord [Anime])

It always bothers me when evil overlords leave their castle staff of their minions list. A great villain should have their power displayed in everything around them, from their captains to their cooks. That’s why Ainz Ooal Gown’s Pleiades are so great; the castle maids for an evil fortress, each on is an individual fighter with her own superpowers. Following organization rules, each of the maids is also a monster; werewolves, shapeshifting oozes, a sentient swarm of insects, etc. And that’s the kind of creativity and attention to detail I love to see in an evil overlord’s forces. Look at where there isn’t a superpowered minion, and say, “No, this will not do. More evil.”

6.      Hunchbacks (Castlevania)

I remember that my mind was blown when I finally realized the ‘fleamen’ from Castlevania were supposed to be hunchbacked Igors. While I was kind of disappointed that bizarre insect men hybrids, I am still happy that Castlevania didn’t neglect a favorite horror trope. Castlevania actually has a pretty unique staff; undead maids, zombie butchers, a plague doctor groundskeeper, and skeleton butlers. But it wasn’t until the Lords of Shadow games that the hunchbacks started being explored. One of the good things about Lords of Shadow was the implication that Castlevania itself is alive; the castle has always existed, and can’t even really be fully pulled through to our world. When the castle needs repairs, though, someone to repair it and expand it, it summons the hunchbacks out of nowhere. The hunchbacks are tied to the castle; they’re like cells in its body. They might know more about Castlevania itself than even Dracula, but they aren’t letting on. Their only job is to serve their master, whoever or whatever it might be.

7.      Maleficent’s Goblins (Sleeping Beauty)

Maleficent’s goblins are little bundles of medieval monstrosity with enough character to be charming. They’re like the Minions, where I honestly can’t imagine them existing without a master. It wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out they were just demons conjured up by Maleficent from her firepit. The odds and ends of medieval armor and weaponry on top of their gargoyle aesthetic makes me think of very early Tolkien, like the first covers for The Hobbit and Return of the King. These little guys were the forerunners to orcs, uruk-hai, parademons, and every other evil monster army. Sometimes I still wish we could go back to minions like these.

8.      Lurch (Addams Family)

The quintessential creepy butler. I feel like Lurch parallels Marty Feldman’s Igor in some pretty interesting ways. They’re both essentially half a joke, part of a comedy routine that requires someone else to land the punchline. The difference is that while Igor undermined Frankenstein to lighten the mood, Luch is deadly serious to contrast the Addams’ playfulness. Lurch wasn’t just a straight-man; he was a brick wall that you could throw anything off of. To be honest, I always kind of wondered what exactly Lurch was; I never really thought of him as human. My favorite theories are either that he was a flesh golem (since he was clearly based off Karloff’s Frankenstein), a homunculus grown for the family and passed down through generations, or just some really tall guy in a suit.

9.      Dwergi (Van Helsing)

The Dwergi in Van Helsing have an unnecessarily cool design for what amounts to being Dracula’s grunts. The goggles, spines, and full leather outfits make me think of aliens or something that would be working for Clive Barker’s Cenobites. I can’t help but think of the ‘jawas’ that were through the gate in Phantasm. But I think that I love the Dwergi most as concepts for evil dwarves; ‘dwergi’ most likely derives from ‘dvergar’, a German word for dwarf. There are even evil dwarves in Dungeons and Dragons named duergar and derro. And that connections opens up so many possibilities for me. Imagine a dwarven sub-race mutated to be classical Igor characters, or adventurers encountering derro dressed all in mad scientist gear underground. The Dwergi have hidden depths when you know where to look.

10.   Stormtroopers (Star Wars)

Out of the standard henchmen armies, Stormtroopers are still my favorite. Stormtroopers are up there with Red Shirts in terms of incompetence and mortality rates. Every now and then some random Stormtrooper manages to stand out and look like a badass, but even they usually have a lifespan of however long until the heroes arrive. I’ve heard some people argue that the humanizing elements of Stormtroopers, the way they talk about their day or are just trying to do a job, makes the very Nazi-coded Empire too sympathetic. But I would argue the opposite; the human aspects of the Stormtroopers make it clear how actually farcical the whole Empire is. The Stormtroopers aren’t some elite kill-force, they’re bumbling idiots. Whatever brutal efficiency they’re ascribed usually happens off-screen, and it quickly gets drowned out by the chorus of Wilhelm screams heard while trooper after trooper dies ridiculously. The Stormtroopers make it clear how fascism doesn’t raise the individual up but uses them as a disposable resource. The Stormtroopers as human characters make the Empire look inept, not empowered.