#Otomo answers you!

[braceletofteeth]

#is Someone Imagase Adores in the room with us right now?

[s-essha]

@howlighte & @gyaryuyu SENT: MY MUSE & ART.

light spoiler warning.

The final answer isn’t as clear cut —   in lieu,  many factors merge to present the simplest answer:   he does,  in fact,  draw anime fan art.  Part stems subconsciously,  producing senseless doodles that tend to appear in the margins of any physical paper he receives,  rare as physical copies tend to get discarded post-scanning them from his phone and clicking  ‘Save as a PDF’.   Immediate isolation as a child surely didn’t help either,  sheltered from the outside  ( family business always comes first, irrespective to age )  within walls obscuring anything but screen after screen. 

Work smarter,  not harder.   Said screens became a go-to if not primary source for early development,  maturing unrefined scribbles into acute observational sketches,  both fiction and reality preceding stylistic development.  Of course,  his dad wasn’t really a fan of any of it,  chalking it up to youth’s wish,  the cruel truth known by both him,  his mother,  and Idia.   Ortho could,  and would,  be excluded from those conversations.

BUT! ———   Mindless scratches of lead and hissing at the snap of the tip  ( another omen of never-ending bad-luck,  probably! ) drift him from one world to another,  much to his own pleasure.   Even better,  losing himself with the outside surroundings additionally muffled by trusty,  signature headphones,  blaring only the BEST  —   and often underground —   music picks,  old and new!   Ritual that trails gracelessly into Night Raven,  occasionally appearing as sketches that resemble the likenesses of other peers if not sourced from a horde of varying interests.   RPGS,  ‘80s anime and manga,  campy movies,  and that barely scratched the surface for all there was to inspire.

Observation was key after all,  circling the core understandings ripped apart piece by piece to identify every single moving part.   Dissectible information that led to deepened understanding along the same lines of understanding the human form through the sketching of his body only to be ( accidentally ) depicted a stalker when caught by other student(s).   Definitely not one of his best  ( or proudest )  moments ——   it formed a decent enough topic line for a mid-term paper;   Effects of passion in depictable media,  so swallows it up regardless with unchanged admiration.   

It made sense as a topic, anyway. Passion builds coveted material,  both indie and popularized.   Lack of it strips tales of old and new both would be half of what they were in the present,  and the future’s would be any less enticing;   a dime a dozen,  in short.   Hard effort melting into bursts of creativity to build from zero to hero,  enticing any / all refined eyes in the image of pure,  unbridled devotion to craft.   The construct,  the execution,  the effort.   It all rolls itself into a PERFECT COMBO:   artistry,  passion,  understanding!    If offered the choice,  time / focus would be placed on that rather real life,  flurries of Shroud-patented rambles accessible to any who could, and would, comfortably tune in.   Gatekeeping is no fun anyway.   AFTER ALL,  anyone can replicate anything,  but it takes something by someone,  a someone who could be anyone,  to create something unforgettable.   In another life,  Idia could only hope he’d be that anyone.

[dyns33]

Stealing perfume

So I said it would be an Murderdock one shot, but it's a bit of a part 2 for Flower arrangement, even if you don't need to read part 1 to read this.

Y/N had never imagined Matthew when he was a child.

She might have, wondering if he had looked like a little ginger angel with blue eyes, using his adorable little pout to get everything he wanted. He was doing that now, except he preferred threats, with a big evil smile.

Sometimes he took on an innocent look, but that only worked with people who didn't know him, or who were too stupid to understand that it was a mask.

She didn't remember why Foggy had talked about Matt as a child. After drinking several beers, he asked her how she managed to be friends with him. Strange question, coming from the “best friend in the world”.

“I'm not friends with him, I've known him for years and we do each other favors. Do you know what Murdock was like when he was a teenager ? Like now, but more aggressive. Hiding his insults with less syrup and contempt. I wonder if he was already a devil when he was little.”

“You think he came out of the ground surrounded by flames just to ruin your school years ?” Y/N scoffed as she finished her drink.

“No, but I’m serious ! A mini Matt ! Even more vicious, quieter, who can slip between your legs without you hearing.”

“He can already do that.”

“I don’t want to hear it ! I'm just saying, has he always been like this, or has something happened ? Do you think it was an accident ? The loss of his sight, of his parents ? He never talks about his past, it's weird. Maybe… Maybe you’re right about the exit from the ground.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like to talk about it and you’ve had enough to drink for tonight.”

“Lots of mini Murdocks… Promise me you won’t make little Murdocks.”

“Come on Foggy, I’ll take you home.”

To answer his question, Y/N couldn’t explain why she was “friends” with Matt, much less why he was “friends” with her. They had been seeing each others for several months, still without giving a specific name to their relationship, and it was working.

She knew perfectly well what had happened to young Matthew, since he had told her once, but they had never spoken about it again after that, and she was not going to tell anyone else.

This show of trust was something else, along with the flowers and the kisses, that helped her know that she meant something, much more than most people.

They didn't intend to make little Murdocks, as Foggy said. With Matt's employers, both those in the public eye and those hidden in the shadows, it didn't seem wise to have children.

That, in addition to the fact that he was not good with others, regardless of their age, quite selfish, nervous, dangerous, and therefore unsuitable to be a father.

They hadn't talked about it, but it seemed obvious.

Since they weren't a couple, Y/N didn't worry when she didn't hear from Murdock for several days. It happened that he disappeared, because of his work, his other job, or because he wanted to be alone.

“Away from all these idiots.” as he liked to say. Before meeting her, he visited Silk in prison, or Stark's ex-wives. He told her with a strange smile, before pouting and noting that it didn't really make her react.

If she ended up stopping by his apartment, it wasn't at all because she was starting to wonder if he was okay or if he was seeing someone else, but because she had forgotten her jacket the last time she came.

Of course, he wasn't there. The apartment was empty, and Otomo had told her before she went upstairs that the Master was away for an indefinite period.

“And I guess you can’t tell me where he is.”

“I’ll be honest, we don’t know.”

"Oh. Personal reasons then."

"Probably. Master Murdock was so keen to be alone that he disappeared one evening. We didn't see him leave the place."

It wasn't completely impossible, Matt was good at it. But it was the Hand who had taught him the art of stealth, and they were very good at tracking their targets. Besides, they wouldn't exactly be kind to him when he came back, because they hated not knowing where their employees were.

The apartment had been cleaned, quiet and empty, and yet Y/N stopped in the entrance. She was not a fighter. As a joke, Murdock had wanted to teach her some ninja techniques, but without much success.

However, she immediately felt that there was something. Especially when she couldn't find her jacket.

Y/N remembered perfectly where she had left it, in the bedroom. She also knew where Matt or his cleaners put her forgotten things so she could find them easily.

But the jacket wasn't there.

She could have left, she had other jackets and she knew it wasn't a good idea to stay here too long, going through Matt's things while he was gone.

At the same time, she would not often have the opportunity to look for some shameful secrets. Murdock didn't hesitate to enter her home, fiddling with everything, moving places, and even changing things like the contents of her fridge and her sheets.

He would sulk for a while, refusing to admit that he found her attitude amusing, and using it to blackmail her.

Smiling as she imagined the tortures he was no doubt going to invent, Y/N opened a drawer, then another, a cupboard, before jumping, while a redheaded child half-hidden under a pile of clothes stared at her with his big eyes.

Big, empty, blue eyes that didn't focus.

“… Matthew ?” she asked, slowly sitting down next to him.

"We know each other then. I wasn't sure. Who are you ?"

"I… Yes, we know each other. I'm Y/N."

“Not a lie.” he whispered to himself.

“What the hell happened ?”

"I don't know. I woke up here. There's my smell everywhere, just a bit different. People passed by but I hid like Stick taught me. I couldn't open the door and it's too dangerous to go through the window."

Completely crazy and fearless, adult Matthew would have been perfectly capable of climbing through the window. But he knew his apartment and the building perfectly.

But this child, who was obviously no more than ten years old, was lost and frightened. He tried not to show it too much, because it would bother Stick, his teacher. Even though the Hand was worse than him, he had also been horrible to the poor kid during his training.

He had been hiding for several days, remaining still and silent every time Otomo or anyone else entered, waiting for the right moment to try to escape.

Maybe he heard that Y/N wasn't a danger, that he could trust her. He trembled a little when she stroked his hair and his cheek, showing a surprised look when she asked him if he wanted to eat.

Knowing his sensory problems, she knew what to prepare so that he could swallow his meal without too much problem. Especially since he must have been even more sensitive, because children were always more sensitive with food.

After sniffing the sandwish, Matthew agreed to chew it carefully. He was quite adorable, with his messy hair, his feet that didn't touch the ground and… her jacket.

“Would you like to take a shower and have me find you a t-shirt afterwards ?”

"No."

"No… Okay… It's my jacket."

"I know."

Of course he knew. The little shit made Murdock look superior as he said that, very proud of himself. Y/N waited for him to add that the item of clothing smelled so strongly like her that anyone could have known it belonged to her.

That didn't explain why he'd decided to wear it, though, rather than the skin-friendly clothes that populated the apartment's closets.

“It doesn’t smell too much like you anymore.” was finally what he said in a small voice.

"That's a good thing, right ? I know you have a sensitive nose."

"… Hmm."

Suddenly, he pouted. This he did when he was sad but trying to hide it and just look irritated.

Sensing that she was looking at him, he lowered his head.

“You don’t mind that the jacket smells like me ?”

"… No." he said shyly, continuing to make himself small. "The apartment smells a lot like you. A mix of you and me. That's how I knew that I knew you."

"Oh."

“You’re important to me, right ?”

No doubt she didn't need to answer him, since he could hear her heart and all the other little signs of her body. Still, she didn't really have an answer. They never talked about it.

Yes, Y/N enjoyed her time with Matt. And he seemed to enjoy the moments with her. And there had been the flowers, and the kisses, and those nights where he clung to her, his head on her chest, saying nothing and letting her touch him even though he hated human contact.

And now he was leaving her scent in his apartment. While he was a real maniac, even among others.

Lost in thought, Y/N jumped slightly when she felt the small hand grabbing her sleeve.

“You’re not going to leave me alone, are you ?”

"Of course not." she said without the slightest hesitation, taking him in her arms.

The gesture scared him a bit. The poor boy must not have received a gesture of affection for a long time. But he hugged her back, choking back a sob as she rocked him. She thought she heard him whisper "mommy" but she didn't comment.

Texting Otomo that she was going to spend the night at the apartment and that she didn't want to be disturbed, she carried him to bed to get some rest. He must not have slept since his strange transformation.

They would find a solution later, with Spiderwoman or the Hand. But for now, Y/N wanted young Matt to have some quiet time, kissing him on the forehead as he fell asleep.

It was not necessary to ask for help however, because the next day, when she opened her eyes, she saw Matthew, adult again, staring at the ceiling, motionless.

"… I guess we're not going to talk about what happened."

"No. Never. To anyone."

"All right."

“Young me is a moron.”

"Don't say that. You were adorable."

"A moron, who doesn't know how to hold his tongue and who asks stupid questions." he growled, kissing her bestially before leaving the room just as quickly.

Y/N waited a bit before getting up, because the bed was much more conformable than hers even if she denied it every time Matt brought it up. Then she put on her shoes, she walked towards the door trying to ignore the ninja who was drinking his tea, before seeing her jacket, forgotten the day before on the chair.

But when she tried to take it, Matt went faster than her, grabbing the clothes and putting it on his shoulder, showing his teeth.

"… Okay." was the only thing she said, raising her hands.

"No, wait. Take it back."

“Because it doesn’t smell like me anymore ?”

"Shut up."

“Do you want me to leave you my scarf ?”

"… Shut up." he repeated, taking her scarf to keep it firmly in his hand.

She didn't say goodbye to him, because either he was going to avoid her for days or he would be at her place that same evening. Because she was important to him, even if he would never tell her directly, trying to hide the little boy in him who would demand all her attention.

[inkforhumanhands]

For the fic ask game!

✿ did anything major change when you started writing "All According to Keikaku" to when you finished?

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line: You Would Never Call Me Baby

✄ what’s your editing process? for podfics

<3

✿ did anything major change when you started writing "All According to Keikaku" to when you finished?

Okay, so the biggest thing that changed is that it was never supposed to be a fic at all 😂 The idea was spawned because I had bamf for a Secret Satan giftee and because we talk all the time I had to divert her attention and make her think I was, if it couldn't be ruled out that I wasn't writing for her, at least writing an entirely different premise so she'd still be surprised. The fic I actually did gift her was A Murder of Crows. But she liked the All According to Keikaku idea so much that when the Murderdock zine was in its planning stages she pushed me into making it a reality. As far as smaller changes, I briefly considered having Otomo and Foggy not actually be fake dating but having him protecting Foggy from something and Matt misinterpreting it, but then I figured that would be less fun. Otherwise it didn't change very much once it all started coming together!

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line: You Would Never Call Me Baby

I've been asked this question about this fic a few times now and I've given a few different answers 😂 (I'm glad people like it; I poured my heart and soul into writing it lol) This one is still one of my favorites: Yet there was something to be said for mucking up a clean canvas if you were the dirt. But looking over it again right now I'm actually really proud of the dialogue in a lot of places too, like for instance here: “It’s one thing to say no, even if the way you went about it was a little bit rude, if I’m being honest here,” Foggy continued with vitriol. “Your best friend says he likes you. It’s surprising. I get it. But it’s another thing entirely to say I’m not allowed to like you. Because what? Being bisexual is gross?”

✄ what’s your editing process? for podfics

It's pretty simple honestly because I don't have much in the ways of skills here. I record (using Audacity and my laptop mic) the whole fic or chapter in one long take. (This includes lots of mistakes and repeated lines). Then afterward I go in and first cut out all the mistakes (the longest part of the editing process). After that's done I do noise filtering and slow down the audio just a bit because I read a little too fast. I give it a listen to make sure everything is there and there isn't any lingering weirdness, then I export assuming everything is there. If I have to rerecord and insert something I do that, but I've started to try and make sure I get this step done before the noise filtering to make the audio quality more even.

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you wish there were more comics with the same "literally value" as the greates and most sophisticated books? Or would the talent be wasted on these silly little picture books?

I have reluctantly concluded that comics belongs more to the visual arts than to literature. The attempt on the part of ambitious writers to make it a high literary form eventually failed, leading those writers to leave comics for novels, and for the "literary" graphic novel itself to dwindle into YA propaganda, a mere prop in the "banned book" wars.

(Elif Batuman ingeniously grasped the relevant cultural logic years ago: the secret interrelation of American comics's two most characteristic genres, the superhero saga and the misery memoir, how they suture individual time to historical time, and therefore inevitably serve together the ends of progressive propagandists for the right side of history, as indicated by her application of Lukács's theory of the historical novel. And then she never wrote about comics again—except, in anticipation of the discussion of "black holes" at the end of this post, to extol the filth of Pigpen.)

I am now more interested in comics, to whatever extent I am still interested in comics, that explore the medium's potential as a visual form than those that try to recapitulate the effects of the novel in the absence of the novel's verbal density.

(Note, for example, how often Alan Moore, the best comic-book writer qua writer, "cheats" by turning his comics into pure prose, in the literal prose passages of Watchmen or Providence, or in the long and intricate narrative captions of Swamp Thing or soliloquies of From Hell. Only in the latter work, and perhaps in the also prosy Lost Girls, did he collaborate with an artist as concerned to make an innovative statement in the history of visual art as Moore was to take his place in literary history.)

In more direct answer to your question, then, I wouldn't demote comics below "real art" or whatever, but trying to make them into literature increasingly seems to me misguided. As I wrote in my review of the Norton Critical Edition of A Contract with God, considered by some the inaugural graphic novel, and the first graphic novel to take its place in Norton's canon,

Critics like Gary Groth, founder of The Comics Journal and hanging-judge of comics criticism, whose 1988 dissent on Eisner’s stellar reputation in the field the Norton volume reprints, complain of Eisner’s simplicity and melodrama. They aren’t wrong, but this too strictly mis-applies literary standards and undervalues the integrity and authority of his images. It’s true that Eisner makes no philosophical innovation with his parabolic crossing of the The Book of Job with Silas Marner; the story just re-states the ancient problem of theodicy. But the power is in the statement itself. If A Contract with God can’t compare to the intellectual sophistication of a Saul Bellow, Eisner’s dense line work and dynamic compositions, his use of image as text and text as image, offer a visual correlate to Bellow’s verbal richness. It’s only aesthetically illegitimate if you don’t take the visual seriously enough.

My review of the semi-illiterate visual extravaganza Akira also pertains here:

So mighty is Otomo’s storytelling craft that it paradoxically consumes attention even as it commands it, which neither Miller nor Moore, neither Jodorowsky nor Peeters, would be willing to do. In other words, you are never tempted to linger, but only to speed on. It is only a very slight exaggeration to say that one of Akira‘s six 400-page chapters can be read in the same time that it takes to read one of the 32-page chapters of Watchmen: about an hour. This reflects Otomo’s absolute mastery of layout and composition; he never puts an obstacle athwart the onrush of your eye across his collapsing cityscapes. Language does not get much in the way either: vast swaths of pages, all violent action, go by with no more demanding words than onomatopoeiac sound effects, grunts and profanities from the characters, and the heroes and villains crying one another’s names. [...] Such anti-literacy—very much against the Anglo-American “spirit of 1986,” which saw comics strive for and often attain the density of the 20th-century novel—bears upon Akira's theme of energy washing away all hierarchies.

(These remarks are partly inspired by the recent Weird Studies podcast episode on Charles Burns's Black Hole; there the hosts construe comics as a hybrid form of archeo-print-culture, a printing of the manuscript, and an unfolding of the spiritual-material potentialities of ink, Burns's book's secret eponym. Otomo's lovingly rendered Neo-Tokyo apocalypse is another such "black hole" from which the image stream proceeds, of course, as is Eisner's famous rain of ink out of the whirlwind sky upon his Job-like characters.)

[hyeahgaku]

Jump Festa 2024 SAKAMOTO DAYS Special Stage

(Part 2) Here are some of the things that were discussed, & exchanges that the guests had, which i manage to understand from the panel. I did not include those that i couldn't quite catch. Apologise if i misheard anything cuz my listening for Japanese isn't top-notch 🙏

3rd Segment - Behind the Scenes Footage, featuring Suzuki-sensei's Workdesk & Manga Collections

Ishikawa-san managed to get these exclusive photos from Suzuki-sensei, with permission, & shared them with the audience.

Ishikawa-san generously provided a walkthrough of some of the stuff here. The handgun replica & sniper rifle replica are those that Sakamoto's gun and Heisuke's rifle were modelled after. The white drawer on the left is where Sensei keeps the fans' letters that he receives. He also has Vaundy's "Replica" limited edition album which he joyfully talked about in one of his weekly comments (the orange one on the top shelf above his drawing board). There's also a bunch of manga collection on the right shelf -includes Dōmu by Katsuhiro Otomo-sensei, who is one of Sensei's favourite mangaka, as well as Mugen no Juunin, etc.

Ishikawa-san told the audience abit about the story behind Sensei's drawing desk (those who have read the manga would already know it, he said). This desk was originally used by his wife back when she was a junior high school student. Suzuki-sensei felt that it was just right for him so he has been using it from then on until today. Additionally, Ishikawa-san also shared a cool story behind Sensei's drawing board. Suzuki-sensei went to the hardware store to buy one but he found this piece of wood apparently thrown away. So he took a look & thought it'd be a good fit if he used it as a drawing board and so he took it home. Ishikawa-san added that it costed Sensei 0 yen! The host commented, "That's what we call Recycling!" Suzuki-san later praised Suzuki-sensei for being such a talented person & he proudly stated that he's a fan of Suzuki-sensei.

A funny bit: When the host pointed out about the elbow rest pads on the sides of the drawing board as she wasn't sure if they were, Ishikawa-san answered, "Yes they are elbow rest pads. It's for you to rest your elbows on them." and then Suzuki-san just burst out laughing & he said, "That's why they're called elbow rest pads! You're supposed to rest your elbows on them!" lmaoooo.

Moving on to the left photo first, Ishikawa-san stated that those tools that Suzuki-sensei labelled '1st Military Set' are the ones that Sensei very often uses to draw the manga. There are different types of pens, which include G pen, Maru pen, Milli pen, etc). I'm not sure if I got this right but I thought Ishikawa shared that originally, Suzuki-sensei drew the series using G pens but now he has changed to use Milli pen.

When the host asked about the coins on the ruler, Ishikawa-san explained that some artists might tape coins especially to the underside of a flat ruler to help create a gap or a bridge so as to prevent the ink from bleeding onto the edge thus messing one's artwork.

As for the right photo, Suzuki-sensei's bookshelf is filled with manga series like Naruto, One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter & so on. There's also a long, black stick on the right but none of them knew what it was lol. Suzuki-san wondered if it was the opponent's rifle (Kamihate's sniper rifle) but then they all just brushed it off as just a stick lmaooo even though all of them are curious what it actually is. (Idk, I thought it was a katana haha)

Suzuki-san once again praised Suzuki-sensei for arranging his manga & JUMP magazines so neatly while the host personally feels that Sensei really knows how to take good care of his belongings & use them with great care.

At the end of the photo-showcase, Suzuki-san asked Ishikawa-san if he had by any chance accidentally said anything weird or odd to him, but Ishikawa-san responded that if Suzuki-san had done so, then he would have imagined killing him. Suzuki-san was like, "Scaaary" & then immediately went full mode in-character & spoke Shin's dialogue, "Why did you imagine killing me?!" And then he went on, "I had to say it." lmaooo

4th Segment - Lucky Draw

(left photo) So the 5 Lucky Draw winners have won this entire set of SAKAMOTO DAYS original goods. Yea, each person gets the entire set! Congratulations to them!

(right photo) As for those who did not win the Lucky Draw, they also received a gift (bonus, rare sticker) for attending the SakaDays panel!

5th Segment - Collaborations

Collaboration with Bandai Candy. SAKAMOTO DAYS wafers, with special metallic cards, will be available in Japan stores in June 2024. There will be a total of 28 types of cards, 6 of which are the rare cards. Please look forward to further information in the future!

Suzuki-san revealed that he used to buy a lot of wafer cards & it made him so happy. This time he has to be careful not to eat too much wafers, to which Ishikawa-san responded that he's already thinking of going on a diet just to get himself prepared for June 2024 lmaooo.

Collaboration with Tower Records Cafe. The collaboration cafe is set to open some time in 2024 & Ishikawa-san stated that he could not reveal any further information yet so kindly look forward to future updates!

Final Segment - Volume 15 Reveal

Volume 15 features Kumanomi, and it will be released in Japan stores Thursday, January 4, 2024.

Suzuki-san commented that the cover is amazing & he love the colour choices, whereas Ishikawa-san was kinda fanboying over Kumanomi; he said she's really beautiful! (Ishikawa-san is a man of culture indeed.)

Closing

Message from Ishikawa-san: Thank you to those that came today & those who watch this broadcast. Thank you very much also for always looking forward to & reading SAKAMOTO DAYS. Suzuki-sensei & the entire team are deeply motivated by everyone's support! From here on out, SAKAMOTO DAYS will be more action-packed & have interesting developments as the final battle against the formidable enemy, Slur, is about to begin. Kindly look forward to it! And as always we look forward to your continued support. Thank you very much!

Message from Suzuki-san: I, Ryōta Suzuki, am truly honoured to be on stage here today, as one of the fans of the series. I can really feel how great SAKAMOTO DAYS is, seeing how so many people have gathered here today to watch the event & we also got to know a lot of things, even stuff from behind-the-scenes. Thank you very much for having me!

《 back to pt.1

[maochira]

Confession (Keiji Togashi x reader)

My first Ao Ashi x reader!!

Tags: gn!reader, reader is an artist, no manga spoilers (basically this is in the middle of season 1), Aoi and Otomo appear as well, not proofread

You've been Togashi's classmate for months now, and at first, he intimidated you and you didn't care much for him. But your friends often dragged you along to watch Team B's matches and you found yourself focusing on Togashi the most out of all the players. And as time passed on, you found yourself feeling excited whenever you saw him walking onto the field and even more when you got to see him in school every day. It really didn't take much longer until you developed a crush on the defender, despite the fact that you've never talked to him properly and you're pretty sure he doesn't even know your name.

And at some point, not only did you find yourself watching his matches, but you also started coming to watch Team B's practices if you had the time to. As an excuse to have a reason to go, you always brought your sketchbook along to sketch the players to practice dynamic poses. You really tried your best to draw all of them, but then found yourself drawing Togashi the most - even though his hair is always hard to figure out.

And of course, your friends quickly picked up on the fact that you have a crush on him and keep teasing you about it because they want you to confess to him. But you're so sure Togashi still doesn't know who you are, even though he notices how often you come to watch him at practice and matches. He's wondered about it for a while, but always shrugged it off as you being a fan.

Because of your friend's teasing, you had to promise that you'll confess one day. You said it'll be when your sketchbook is full because that usually takes you a while. Just with this particular one, you didn't even realize how much faster you're filling it because you've been using it a lot more since you started drawing at Team B's practices.

Today is like any other - you came to watch Team B at practice and draw while you're at it. And suddenly, you're on the last page of your sketchbook. You're already dreading drawing on it because you know as soon as you do, it'll mean you have to tell Togashi about your feelings. You promised it to your friends. There's no going back.

As much as you're dreading this moment, you're waiting at the exit of the training field to watch out for Togashi. Many of his teammates leave and barely any of them look at you, but the moment Togashi approaches the exit accompanied by Aoi and Otomo, all of them recognize you instantly.

"Isn't that (Y/N)?" You hear Aoi saying from a bit of a distance, but you can't figure out what Otomo answers him. Togashi doesn't seem to have any reaction to your presence. Maybe he really doesn't know who you are?

For a moment, you debate with yourself to just leave and act as if nothing ever happened. But then Aoi runs up to you and is about to greet you. Although, before he gets to say something you force your sketchbook into his hands. "Give this to Togashi-" You tell him quickly before running away as fast as you can.

All three boys are equally confused and look after you, especially Aoi. He looks down at the sketchbook you just put into his hands as your words repeat in his head, so he hands it over to Togashi.

"What is this?" He asks in a tone that sounds a little irritated. He doesn't understand why you ran away so quickly.

"I don't know. They told me to give it to you," Aoi shrugs, "Look into it."

Otomo already knows where this is going. He saw the obvious blush on your face when you gave your sketchbook to Aoi. Otomo curses Togashi in his head for getting a confession before he did.

As they continue walking back to their dorms, Togashi flips through the sketchbook. "I don't get it..." He mumbles as he flips through the mix of your personal art and all the sketches you made while watching Team B's practices. He notices very quickly that he was drawn the most. He opens his mouth to say something else, but not only his voice but also his steps stop when he reads what you wrote on the last page.

"I like you. A lot."

[olibheare]

how do you come up with poses? i spend too much time trying to come up with natural and dynamic poses like urs :o

I'm an animator so I've had a lot of practice drawing things in actual dynamic (...ish) motion or in anticipation of motion, so I'm familiar with weight interacting with forms. I was also in theater acting for 5 years so I'm partial to intentional, concise body movement (clear silhouette/ able to be seen from the nosebleed seats) Which helps in identifying expression. (Arms big and wide for a bombastic character, everything close to the body and turned away from people for someone who's meeker or doesn't want to be seen, yadda yadda) Lucky for me both of these things can be found in comics. Comics/Manga are what I've always looked to for posing, making static drawings feel like they have dynamic movement is key for guiding the eye on a page full of dialogue bubbles, and giving us the feeling of living characters actually moving through space. Tuesday Tips from Griz and Norm has always been a useful resource for me in handling anatomy, which I suggest you have a good grasp of. I have a reference folder of like, thousands of screenshots from manga or stuff I think has a well-drawn anatomy (It's mostly all Naruto hehe) Sometimes I'll do gesture drawing WITH those reference pictures, just don't use them as a jumping-off point, a lot of anatomy is broken when it comes to simplifying the form for clarity or emphasis of energy (punching and kicking and the like) idk I've drawn alot. of people.

Things here: Griz & Norm (from their tumblr) Dungeon Meshi (HUGELY recommend, Ryoko Kui is so awesome and cool) Naruto (also recommend, this whole manga is about jumping around and fighting so. Yeah. Anatomy Anatomy Anatomy) Hellboy: The Wild Hunt by Mike Mignola My Hero Academia (guy I don't really like but can draw like a crazy person) Mujirushi by Naoki Urasawa (guy I REALLY like who can draw like a crazy person) AKIRA by Katsuhiro Otomo Blue Giant by Shin'ichi Ishizuka (I am biased because this is about a Sax player) Idk I could make an even longer list but this wasn't an ask for that, hopefully, I answered part of your question.

[sofya-fanfics]

You Are Important Too

Fandom : Ao Ashi

Relationship : Ashito x Hana

My Year of the OTP 2023 contribution for the prompt : sick fic.

I’m sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language. I hope you like it.

Summary : Ashito was sitting on a chair next to Hana's bed, she was sleeping soundly. He put his hand over Hana's and squeezed it. When he had seen her unconscious, he had never been so scared. For the first time in his life, football was no longer important. All that mattered was that Hana was okay.

Disclaimer : Ao Ashi belongs to Yugo Kobayashi.

@yearoftheotpevent​

AO3

Ashito passed the ball to Otomo, who sent it back. The Esperion club welcomed another club, it was a decisive game which would decide which of the two clubs would participate in the regional championship. The game would start in a few minutes and Ashito was eager to play. He felt like he could not keep still. Otomo, on the other hand, was stressed like before every game. But he knew that when the whistle sounded, Otomo's behaviour would change and he would enjoy every minute of the game.

To change his mind, Ashito had asked him to pass. It seemed to work and Otomo was less stressed. He stopped the ball and looked away. He pointed to the bleachers and told Ashito to look at it. A huge smile lit up his face. Hana was there. She had never missed one of his games. She had always believed in him. And after declaring herself his number one fan, he felt stronger and felt like he played better when she was around. He waved at her and she waved back.

“I'll be right back” he told Otomo.

“You're so lucky to have your girlfriend coming to see you at every game,” Otomo sighed. “I would like to be in your shoes.”

Ashito blushed.

“She's not my girlfriend.”

Otomo couldn't help laughing.

“If you say so.”

Ashito blushed even more, but he did not answer. He ran towards Hana and frowned when he saw her face. She looked tired and her eyes and nose were red. He heard her cough lightly.

“Is everything alright ?” He asked her.

Hana nodded and smiled. Ashito saw that it was a forced smile.

“I'm just a little sick. But it's nothing serious.”

“If you felt ill, you shouldn't have come.”

She shook her head.

“It's an important match to be qualifying. I wanted to encourage the team.”

She looked away and her cheeks turned red.

“I wanted to encourage you.”

Ashito blushed. Like every time Hana said this kind of thing to him, he felt a sweet warmth. He was happy. But now was not the time to think about that. He had to focus on the game. He looked at her seriously. Even if she said she was fine, he was worried about her.

“If you don’t feel well, you go home and rest.”

Hana sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Hana.”

“All right. Now get back on the field, the game will start soon.”

Ashito looked at her one last time and ran towards the players of his team who had gathered around their coach. He smiled when he heard her encouragement. After Fukuda's last recommendations, the players took their places on the field and the referee whistled the start of the game.

At the end of the eighteenth minute, the Esperion team scored a goal. If they kept on this way, they would qualify, Ashito thought. He heard a hubbub coming from the bleachers. It had nothing to do with encouragement. He quickly looked at the bleachers, out of curiosity. His heart missed a beat when he saw Anri kneeling and Hana lying on the ground. Without thinking about what he was doing, he rushed to the bleachers.

“Hana !” He shouted.

He did not care that he was in the middle of a game, all that mattered at that moment was Hana. He knelt beside her.

“She... She passed out all of a sudden,” Anri said.

Ashito looked up at her and he saw the concern in her eyes. He touched Hana's forehead. She had a fever. Why had not she listened to him ? Why had she insisted so much that she passed out ? He stood up and took her in his arms.

“I'm taking her to the sick room,” he informed Anri.

She nodded and Ashito rushed to the sick room.

******

Ashito was sitting on a chair next to Hana's bed, she was sleeping soundly. She had gotten some color back in her cheeks. The nurse gave her medicine to get down the temperature and told Ashito that she would be fine soon. He was reassured. He put his hand over Hana's and squeezed it. When he had seen her unconscious, he had never been so scared. For the first time in his life, football was no longer important. All that mattered was that Hana was okay.

He looked out the window and thought that the game must be over. Someone knocked on the door and opened it. Ashito quickly let go of Hana's hand when he saw Fukuda enter.

“How is she ?” He asked as he approached the bed.

“The nurse gave her some medicine, she should be fine.”

Fukuda affectionately stroked his sister's hair.

“You gave us a good fright.”

He looked at Ashito.

“The team is qualified. We won 3 to 1.”

Ashito smiled. At least his absence had not penalized the team. Fukuda walked to the door and put his hand on the handle.

“You’re leaving ?” Ashito asked.

Fukuda nodded and smiled at him.

“I know I'm leaving Hana in good hands.”

He left the sick room. Ashito blushed. It was not his coach who had just spoken to him, but Hana's big brother. He saw her move. He turned his attention to her and he saw her open her eyes.

“Ashito. What has happened ?”

“You fainted, you're in the sick room.”

“I'm sorry for worrying you. And the game ?”

Ashito smiled slightly. He did not need to tell her he had not played to stay with her. He did not want her to feel guilty.

“We won.”

Hana smiled, reassured.

“Good. I'm happy for you.”

She slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep. He took her hand again and stroked it with his thumb. He would stay with her a little longer to be sure she was okay.

******

Four days had passed. Hana felt much better and she had back to classes. Strangely, Ashito did not want to talk about the qualifying match and when she talked about it with other team members, they changed the subject. Other than her fainting fit, had anything happened during the game ?

Hana was leaning against the high school hallway wall, waiting for Anri to get out of class. She called out to her when she saw her come out of the classroom and approached her.

“What happened during the game ?” Hana asked.

Anri opened her eyes wide.

“You don’t know ?”

“Ashito didn’t want to tell me and when I ask the others, they change the subject.”

Anri looked down.

“If Ashito doesn't want to tell you about it, it's not for me to tell you.”

“Please. I know you won't lie to me.”

Anri bit her lower lip and looked up at Hana. She did not know what she should do. But she knew that the girl in front of her would not give up and that she would do anything to find out what happened.

“Ashito left the game to stay with you. The team won, but without him. Maybe he didn't tell you about it so you wouldn't feel guilty.”

Hana felt like her breath was taken away. He had abandoned the game because of her. Why ? Why had he done this when football was his whole life ? She had to talk to him. She ran out and did not hear Anri calling her. All she thought about was to find Ashito. It was lunch break and she knew he liked to have lunch on the rooftop. She ran up the stairs and thought she had never run so fast. She was out of breath, but she did not care.

She opened the door that led to the rooftop and saw him having lunch with Tachibana, Togashi and Otomo. The closer she got to him, the more anger she felt. He had hidden from her that he had not taken part in the game. She did not need him to protect her. Football was important. He had made sacrifices to come to Tokyo and to be able to turn professional. He had to focus on that goal.

She moved behind Ashito, who was sitting on the floor with his friends. She put her hands on her hips and looked at him angrily. Ashito shivered, as if he had felt her gaze and he slowly turned towards her.

“We'll leave you,” Togashi said.

He and Tachibana stood up quickly. He grabbed Otomo by the collar of his jacket to force him to stand up and they left. Ashito looked at them, begging them not to leave him alone with Hana who was angry with him.

“Why did you do that ?”

He jumped when he heard the tone of her voice. He stood up and looked at her.

“You know about the game.”

“You shouldn't have stayed with me. It was an important match.”

“You are important too.”

Hana opened her eyes wide. He told her that calmly, as if it was the most obvious thing.

“I couldn't have played knowing you weren't okay. It was stronger than me. I had to be with you. It's true that football is important, but so are you. So I don't regret missing the game.”

Ashito suddenly blushed, realizing what he had just said. Hana put her hand on her chest. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it was going to explode. She came up to him and gently put her lips on his. It was only a kiss that barely lasted a second, yet Ashito felt his whole body tremble. Even playing football had never made him feel that way. Hana pulled away from him. Her cheeks were just as red as his and she smiled shyly at him.

“Win the next game.”

She ran away before Ashito had time to react. Why did she always have to run away at times like this. But he could not help smiling. It was different from the last time she had kissed his forehead. He promised himself to win the next game for her.

The end

[ofmermaidstories]

Yeah I wrote that ask about shigaraki and dabi before reading the newest chapter and I was kinda liking at shiggy like 😑 cause I feel like he just wanted to prove me wrong lol

LOL, it’s the Horikoshi-effect!!! You guess the story is going one way, and then he doubles back and takes it in a different direction!!!!!!!! im sure he does it deliberately. 😌

another cut for more spoiler-chat, including some for Akira!

one of the (meta) things that fascinates me about Hori and BNHA is how much of an influence Akira has been on his work. Last year I worked through all six volumes of the manga, and stylistically you can see how Hori has like, absorbed a lot of Otomo’s hallmarks and made them his own. full-page panels of like, city destruction. characters who like to stomp around with their hands shoved into their pants pockets (!!!!). Shiggy’s cloak, even—although i think Hori does it better (i like how he shades it!).

there’s a capability, in Hori’s art, for it to be just as indulgent with the body horror front as Otomo, too.

that panel of Bakugou (imagining himself) being ripped apart by Shigaraki is, perhaps, my favourite that Hori’s ever done. it’s so—different from anything else he’s done with BNHA. seeing this panel, and reading Akira at the same time was like… was like a oh moment. because the central conflict in Akira is the question of, what happens when you foist unimaginable power onto a single, imperfect human? How do you stop them? How can you stop them?

the answer, in Akira at least, is that they get taken away—gently, their hand taken by others with the same powers, who lead them into a completely new universe. and i could see Hori pulling something similar, maybe, with Shigaraki and Deku and their council of Quirk Ghosts. i’ve seen speculation that the child within Shiggy will be freed/reborn, and given a new chance like that but—i dunno. maybe. for all that Hori’s art has flirted with horror, BNHA is a shonen that’s always had the message of everyone can be a hero—so it wouldn’t surprise me if Hori found a way to give Tenko a chance, too, somehow.

(towards the end of Akira, there’s this really interesting exchange where one of the characters suggests that this great and terrible power that’d been plaguing the antagonist was something innate in all humans, and that eventually, in the coming generations, everyone would be able to access it—easily.

the idea of it is met with horror. All your power ever brought you was misery!

It brought us friends, is the correction. Friends who can communicate without words… friends who can understand one another completely.)

[otomotoelzhinee]

The Exam

The Exam, The Exam, The Exam..........

"...I can't let mom see this."

[evilwickedme]

@heroofashesnot

Okay, okay, I'll rec some Murderdock fics!

The truth is I'm pretty sure I've already posted my absolute favorites maybe a few weeks ago. I'm not entirely convinced I didn't hallucinate it but I've been answering so many asks (/positive!!) that I don't feel like digging for it. So this is a random collection of fics I liked enough to bookmark, but not literally all of them.

I know for a fact that I've said this before, but I'll say it again: Rumspringa Murderdock is the fic that got me into Murderdock. I thought it was just a college era fic with a twist, but very quickly realized it, uh, wasn't. It's great mattfoggy content, angsty but well done, and murderdock is young enough that I buy the heel-face turn.

My Roommate: Matt Murdock is another favorite, although I have a few squabbles with it. Still, I reread it a lot. It's one of the few fics I feel like really touch on the fact that Murderdock's gotta have a pretty fucked up way to approach relationships. Foggy doesn't even realize he's in one for much of this fic, and is actively in denial for the rest of it. Also, I really like the Hand in this. And Otomo.

Better Left For Dead is one of two stories with the exact same premise and sharing many of the same story beats (written in tandem on purpose): matt dies, is brought back by the hand, he's a little off, he becomes obsessed with Foggy. Better Left For Dead is my personal favorite of the two, but they're both worth reading!

learning to live with ya is a little confusing if you don't understand the context of all the different spiders (and there are so goddamn many), but like, this au is a spin off of another au and it's a whole thing, don't feel obligated to read it if you don't want to. The first two times I read this fic I just let the itty/bitty stuff wash by me and I loved it. It's a pretty standard get together fic, as much as da!foggy/Murderdock can have a standard get together fic. I love the character arcs here, anyway.

ya cold, hun is a totally standalone oneshot from the same series as above and just a great exploration of Gwen & Murderdock's (fanon) character dynamic. Gwen finds Murderdock's cat and returns it to him. It's short and sweet.

diminishing returns has fucking Ellie Camacho in it do not touch me. Don't touch me I love Ellie Camacho so much she's my favorite

bullet has Punisher!Karen and my god do I love that concept more people should write that

Finally, I've written two short fics for Murderdock & Gwen myself, less an apocalypse for a short fic challenge, and human after all for a prompt someone left in the replies of one of my posts losing my mind over the man. Less an apocalypse is a canon compliant short about Gwen's evil training program, and human after all is about "what if they met in a grocery store, wouldn't that be funny?"

Anyway I love this murder man and I hope more people get into him just so I can consume more content about him please

[amazing-spiderling]

This has been itching at me but how do you think Murderdock would display affection in any capacity?

Oh, anon. Are you ready to join me on a voyage of soul searching and navel gazing? Because that's where you have sent me with this seemingly simple question.

For starters, we are venturing into the territory of personal headcanons and subjective judgements, simply because we don't see this character in a purely romantic or even sentimental exchange. But I assume that's why you asked this question in the first place. I have spent a lot of time (too much, probably) dissecting the few heavily loaded lines of dialogue and context clues, as well as using what we know of Matt's relationships in the garden variety universes.

But I think the main answer to this question lies in examining the significant relationships he does have with other people.

First off, Cindy Moon:

Now you may be saying to yourself, "This looks like a romantic relationship to me, case closed!" but A. I don't think that it is and 2. You asked how Murderdock would show affection, and I don't think that's what we're witnessing here. Though at the time, it's easy enough for the reader to think this is some kind of serious romance, Murdock later tells Gwen that he essentially has an arrangement with Cindy Moon. Since SILK represents the only major rival to the Hand's endeavors in the West, he's found it advantageous to "keep his enemies closer". Even this visit isn't a social call, he's come specifically to ask Cindy for more isotopes to help fuel Gwen's powers.

Everything about this scene, his dramatic entrance, flippant dialogue, overbearing cologne is classic Murderdock. He's showboating, putting on a performance for an audience, in this case, Cindy. His demeanor around her is no different than what the rest of the world sees. I wouldn't go so far as to say he feels nothing for Cindy, but I don't know that I'd call it affection.

So let's move on to someone who gets an inside view...

Otomo:

"Otomo" is literally "companion" in Japanese. Whether this is the man's name or simply his job title, we never learn, but suffice to say he has filled this role for Murdock for long enough that they have a unique rapport. Otomo is allowed to speak candidly around Murdock, even when it's bad or disappointing news. He is someone that Matt trusts on some level, at least enough to let him closer than most other people, and part of that probably has to do with the fact that Otomo very likely already knows a great deal about Matt's past, at least from the point that he joined the Hand. Even if Otomo doesn't understand Matt's motivations, he does understand his motus operandi. Otomo likely doesn't know why Matt has an interest in Spider-Woman, he almost certainly doesn't know about Matt's suicidal thoughts, but he is also content not questioning anything his master does. This puts him somewhere between an employee and a friend, but I wouldn't say Otomo gets to see Matt's true face either, despite their history.

Speaking of history...

DA Nelson:

My personal favorite relationship in this universe (and let's face it, all of them, when it comes to Matt Murdock) is the one between Matt and Foggy, even though it's been twisted into something toxic and yet shockingly recognizable. Just as they were in 616, Matt and Foggy were roommates in law school, and it seems their association has continued in some form since then. Now that Foggy is District Attorney, Matt seems to have no qualms about asking for "mutually beneficial" favors, which clearly seem to come at great expense to Foggy, if only because Foggy actually gives a damn about what other people think.

I chose this panel because of one line that I have spent so much time thinking about: "Just like always... I'm trying to give you what you want, Matt." This tells us that Matt has a long history of putting pressure on Foggy, and Foggy has gone out of his way to deliver whatever it is Matt wants from him. To me, that means that Foggy has proven to be a reliable asset time and time again. That may not speak to a romantic relationship in the present, but I do think it's the sort of thing that could spawn "fond" feelings in the charcoal briquet of Murderdock's heart, although perhaps more akin to what someone feels for a well trained pet.

The interesting thing about this dynamic as we see it in the comic is that, as always, Matt doesn't actually hide his intentions from Foggy. He is very casual in the way he approaches him and speaks plainly about the rules he wants Foggy to bend. Matt shows his fangs to Foggy, but it is Foggy who makes the mistake of thinking he won't bite. Foggy trusts Matt far too much, but because of that Matt knows he's on a short leash, unlikely to wander. Of course, things change once Matt meets...

Gwen Stacy:

Now you might be sitting here and going, what, what WHAt? This is a question about affection and Gwen and Murderock are enemies. Where are you headed with this, you coco crazy pants? But hear me out on this one-

Gwen thinks Murderdock is the villain, her villain, and certainly, we the readers do as well. But Matt? Gwen is his special interest. He's not opposed to what Gwen does or who she is. Unlike Spider-Man and his villains, Gwen didn't wrong Matt in the past or steal his research or destroy his criminal empire. Matt isn't out for revenge, he doesn't want to kill Gwen. All he wants is to prove that they are, on a fundamental level, the same.

In this universe, Matt plays a role not unlike the one Mephisto plays in 616 when it comes to Spider-Man. The "basically the devil" has an obsession with corrupting Spider-Man because we can't have nice things, don't ask me. Similarly, Matt wants to break Gwen, but only by giving her so much power that she has no choice but to be corrupted by it, as he felt he was by his.

How does he plan to accomplish this? By worming his way into her life, devising scenarios that put Gwen in increasingly desperate situations and watching her squirm. He continues to up the stakes, calling in favors, giving his enemies valuable tools to manipulate them into their places on his chess board, all to force Gwen's hand and bring about his downfall. Speaking of hands, what the hell does the Hand even do in New York? I have no idea, and neither do you, because Matt sure as hell isn't minding his business, because he's obsessed with Gwen.

So! What does this mean when it comes to the answer of your question, oh so patient and gracious anon?

First of all, I don't think there's any chance that Murderdock is going to show affection (platonic or romantic) in a "normal" way. No bouquets of roses, no fancy dinners, no calls to hang out, no hugs. Part of this is because openly showing his genuine emotions is just not how Matt works. He is at his core a performer, and he is almost always "on". Those few rare moments that his true self shows through would be considered vulnerabilities to Matt, and it's hard to know how he might get to a point where he is willing to show them to another person. (One he wasn't about to kill, anyway.)

I also think we have to consider that like most Matt Murdocks, Matt-65 has experienced a great deal of loss. His mother, father, even Stick. but as opposed to Matt of 616 or the Netflix series, this loss isn't characterized by abandonment. His mother didn't choose to leave him. Stick didn't consider him an unworthy pupil. They didn't leave, they were taken. That means this is not a Matt who is concerned with the feeling that he wasn't enough to make people stay, he is concerned with the idea that if he does care about someone, outside forces could take them away from him. And if he did come to care for someone, that would need to be prevented.

I think, if Matt did feel affection for someone, it would be a hell of a long time before that person knew it, because whatever he did wouldn't include many of the typical signs. Maybe it involves secretly scrutinizing the people they interact with, or vetting and disposing of professional contacts, all without the person of his attention being any the wiser.

This might evolve into Matt just... being there. As we've seen with all of these examples, Matt is interacting with each of these people because he wants something from them, whether it's service or personal satisfaction. If Matt started hanging around someone with no ulterior motive, then I think that would be very telling. (I am reminded of cats who just show up at random houses and decide their residents are suitable hosts and end up living there.)

I don't think gifts would be material, because he is not shown to be a particularly materialistic person. (His penthouse is basically empty, he wears basic suits until he starts fashioning himself into a caricature of a villain for Gwen.) I think they would be gifts of service that he would absolutely not mention, though he would relish when the other person discovered them (though they likely wouldn't know how they came to be.) Imagine something like someone lamenting that their favorite band was on tour, but the dates in their city weren't going to work out for them, only to find out a week later that the band caught ill and had to reschedule some shows, which now worked out very well for them. How lucky! (How orchestrated, more like.)

I think we might even consider a bit of arrested development in this area, because while Matt is incredibly adept at playing a part and showing exactly the face he wants to to the world, he is woefully inexperienced at expressing genuine emotions. I think it's safe to say he'd make a bit of a mess of things at first before the recipient of his emotions was able to make sense of it all.

[dyns33]

The Devil’s Lawyer 3

Part 3 of Matt Murderdock x Nice Lawyer Reader. Part 2 here

Even though Foggy had stopped teasing her about her relationship which was not a relationship with Matt, he was still worried. A lot.

He was worried about her safety. And his.

But above all he was worried about their work.

           "Isn't there a serious conflict of interest in this story ?"

           "I don't see what you mean Fog."

           "Listen, I don't mind you refusing to think about what he does during his free time. I don't want to imagine it either. And you can refuse to see what he does with his clients, his boss, everything in the world. I understand why. But you two are working on the same cases... while not on the same side. Don't you think people will ask questions ? The other lawyers ? The jury ? The judges ? They might believe that you are compromised."

           "One, no one will know that we are... close ? And even if they do, it doesn't affect my work as far as I'm concerned. We don't talk about business. I don't give him any information, and I will never give up on our customers."

           "I know." sighed Foggy. "But some might have doubts. Be careful, please."

           "I can tell Murdock to leave me alone."

           "I just asked you to be careful and now you're thinking about getting murdered in a dark alley ? I know him, it's too late. Just... be discreet."

Y/N didn't see how they could be more discreet. Even before something happened, even though she didn't know what that something was, Matt often talked to her at the courthouse, he was quite polite, and flirted a lot. Nothing changed here.

There was no difference for an outsider.

And outside of work, they rarely saw each other. Y/N had never been to his house. And she still didn't really know how he was getting into hers.

After meeting his assistant Otomo-san and hearing them talking, she suspected he was some kind a ninja. She had asked him, a little jokingly, a little seriously. Matt had smiled, at least the closest thing to a smile, showing his teeth.

It wasn't really an answer, but Y/N knew what it meant.

She asked no further questions.

Even though hardly anyone knew about their... private meetings, Foggy wasn't entirely wrong.

They didn't talk about work, but that didn't mean they didn't know what the other was working on.

While Y/N knew very well that it was useless to hide her files or her computer when Matt was coming, since he probably already knew everything, she would have thought that he would be more careful about his business.

Yet he seemed, it felt weird to say that, to trust her.

He received texts that his phone would read aloud, he typed messages without hiding the screen, he called his customers without leaving the room.

Many times, Y/N heard things she definitely shouldn't have heard, about lawsuits, and many other things.

Many times she could have used all of this against him, when they came face to face in the court.

But she didn't.

It wasn't ethical, it wasn't right, and if she had to beat him, she'd do it right.

It was obvious that Matt knew that, and that was probably why he was being so careless. It was a bit insulting.

Or it was a test.

Y/N hated Matt's tests. Nothing 'nasty' compared to what he could have done, but sometimes it was obvious that he was checking that she wasn't lying, that she wasn't trying to use him, and that she wasn't going to betray him.

It was a little insulting... and at the same time Y/N could guess that he had often lived through all this, that he had suffered from it as much as Murdock could suffer, and so if it reassured him, she could do this for him.

There were still times when she tried to get him on the right side. On the side of the 'good idiots' as Foggy said. It didn't really work. This often even resulted in annoying Matt, or making him laugh wickedly.

Once, just once, he seemed to listen. For a case where his client really didn't deserve to win.

And Y/N, even though she was on the side of the good idiots, wasn't stupid. She knew that if he agreed to do his job badly, it would only be if this defeat brought him something, or in any case did not have bad repercussions on his empire.

As with the ninja thing, he had more or less admitted to being the Kingpin without opening his mouth.

So he lost this trial, voluntarily, and Y/N knew that it was not only to please her, nor because it was the right thing to do, but she was satisfied all the same.

This evening, he did not come to visit her. Neither the next day.

He did not greet her in the corridors of the court of justice. He did not respond to her messages.

During a dream, if it was a dream, Y/N saw him standing near her bed. He didn't move, his empty eyes seeming to stare at her when it was impossible, and she couldn't tell if he wanted to join her or something else. Waking up alone, she preferred to think that it hadn't happened.

Foggy noticed the changes.

           "Trouble in Paradise ?"

           "Very funny."

           "He seems to be avoiding you like the plague. What did you do ? Tell me your secret."

           "I don't know. Maybe I don't amuse him anymore."

           "It would surprise me. I remember how he was in Law school. When Murdock gets tired of a toy, he doesn't leave it untouched. If he's really just not interested anymore, then you're lucky. No, I think you did something. That said, when someone pisses him off, they always know why too. It's weird."

           "Hmm." Y/N muttered, not wanting to show that it was affecting her. She had promised that what was between Matt and her would not affect her work. She decided to act like it didn't matter.

Foggy patted her gently on the shoulder. Matt didn't turn in their direction.

For almost a month, they were like strangers. The Devil won all his trials, cold, contemptuous, imperturbable. He even seemed...worse than before. No one thought that possible. And everyone was very scared.

Even his allies obviously.

Y/N was very surprised to see Otomo in her office as she finished taking care of a file. Even though his face remained still, he was clearly a bit lost. He nodded to her, but didn't move when she invited him to sit down.

He stared at her for a long moment, his gaze almost making her shiver, then he left as he had come.

At home, she found Matt in her living room, circling like a caged lion, jumping on her as soon as she closed the door.

           "What did he want ?! What did he do to you ?!" he screamed.

           "...Good evening. Who are you talking about ?"

           "Otomo ! He hurt you ? Threatened you ?"

           "No ? Otomo-san didn't do anything. Or say anything. Why ? I guess you didn't send it."

           "Don't call him 'san'. He's a rat. You swear he didn't do anything to you ?"

           "Yes Matt, I swear."

Still furious, his face flushed with anger and his teeth clenched, Matt still breathed a little less hard when he disappeared through the window. Y/N might have been worried, but... Ninja.

Should she be worried about not worrying ? It was not very normal to find all this, well, normal. But with Matt, she always expected the worst. Matthew Murdock's life seemed terribly complicated.

Always so unpredictable and bizarre, he returned during the night. As in her dream, which had certainly not been a dream.

Y/N was startled when she saw him, but she lay still, too tired to move. If he wanted to join her, fine. If he wanted to kill her, so be it.

           "They think you make me weak." he finally said, indicating that he knew she was awake.

This sentence could have frightened her. It didn't really seem like a good sign, even though she didn't know who 'they' were. But she remained still, and calm, waiting.

           "They didn't like me losing to you. Even though I explained to them that it was not a prejudice for them. They think that one day you will make me do something that might harm them. I had to choose. If I had fought for you, we would both be dead. So I proved to them that you weren't a threat and they didn't need to get rid of you. A poor little lawyer who could never do anything to stop me. However... It seems that lately I've been... Violent. Unstable. Difficult. I don't see what they mean at all, but that's what they said. And they believe you're responsible, again."

Y/N still didn't move, still remained calm. She could guess the rest. She guessed why Otomo-san had come to see her and why Matt had been so angry. No, not angry, he had been scared. He was worried. So Otomo-san was dangerous too. Great.

           "Otomo didn't know what to do with you. Eliminate you, or bring you back to give you to me as a gift to appease me. Luckily for him, he thought about it. He knew that if he touched you, in any way, that could only cause more problems. So I went to talk to them. They're not against... you being mine. They say I can have you if I really want to. They just want to make sure you're not going to compromise me. Are you going to compromise me ?"

Ah, so it was her turn to speak ? Y/N didn't really want to, after these weeks of silence. During which, even if she had done everything to hide it, she had been very depressed and hurt because of him.

Even though he had done it to protect her. It was kind of nice in a way. Funny, Foggy was scared Matt would compromise her, not the other way around.

What could she say then ?

No, of course I'm not going to compromise you, I'm just going to accept your weird secret life, knowing that you hurt people, for the wrong reasons, by obeying to what seems to be a cult of killer ninjas, which represents everything I'm fighting against, but very well honey, it's alright !

As always with Murdock, she preferred to be honest.

           "I don't know. I think it would be useless and stupid, but I don't know if I wouldn't want to try. At least give you options, like last time. To prevent you from killing someone But it'll be your choice in the end. I will never accept what you do and I'll always be against you in court. Even though I'm just a poor little lawyer who can never beat you. For the rest... I don't want to know. Just. I'm not a toy, Matt. I'm not a possession. I don't care what 'they' say, I'm not yours."

           "That's not what I meant." he replied quickly.

She looked at his face for a long time. His eyes. His empty and useless eyes that he couldn't control and which let glimpse the little humanity and emotions he still had inside, somewhere.

He wasn't talking about owning her. Not really.

He was talking about having something good in his life. Something pleasant. Which had nothing to do with the rest of his existence. Y/N understood what he meant.

           "...Alright Matt. You can have me then."

Matthew made a little pout, as if he didn't know how to react. But he never had anything good before, accepting him, so maybe he was really not sure of what to do now.

Then slowly he lay down next to her, taking her in his arms and resting his head on her chest. Finally he seemed to relax, listening to her heartbeat.

It was very gentle. Probably too gentle for someone like him. So not to offend or scare him, Y/N said nothing, just stroking his hair until they fell asleep.

The next day, he woke her up in a more beastly fashion. More like Murdock. With more teeth, tongue and growls.

Satisfied when he had marked her enough and let her panting, Matt jumped out of bed to take a shower, then he prepared breakfast, which he brought to her.

           "Hmm. I had missed that." she moaned, sipping her coffee.

           "Only that ?"

           "Your ridiculous smileys too. Foggy tried, but it wasn't the same. Something was missing. The Murdork touch."

           "Don't ever call me that again. Especially not in front of the Spider. She's already so proud about her Murderdock. It's a good hashtag but it's still ridiculous."

           "Spider ? Wait, you mean Spider Girl ? You know each other ? How ?"

He didn't answer. His slightly worried look returned, although he hid it behind one of his fake smiles. So that was one of those things he didn't want to talk about. Too compromising. Very well.

Cautiously, Y/N kissed him to end this discussion, indicating that he didn't need to think about it.

           "I have to go. This afternoon I'm supposed to kick your ass in court and I have to be ready."

           "Oh ? I can't wait to see you try."

           "You can't see."

           "Indeed." he sneered. "So I'll kick your ass blindly. But tonight you can do whatever you want with mine as compensation."

Y/N rolled her eyes and hurried to join Foggy at the office. When they arrived together in the court, Matt came to greet them, as if all the previous month had not happened. Nelson said nothing, he didn't seem really surprised.

After all, she and Murdock only had a relationship that wasn't a relationship.

[inkforhumanhands]

6, 16, and 17 for the ao3 wrapped tag?

asdsdf I already answered all of these ones but that's okay! (and thank you for sending some in :3)

6. Favorite title you used

I answered previously with All According to Keikaku, but I'm also immensely fond of Guesswork tbh. It just fits into the plot and the theme so well, considering the POV character basically spends the whole time trying to figure out what his crush is thinking, feeling, and might have been through in the past so that he can better understand where he stands with him. It also contrasts really nicely with the way the POV character is so obvious in comparison. It's just perfect and I'm proud of myself for coming up with it.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Just did this one here, so this time I'll do some of the other info lol. My most common rating was T, most common category was M/M surprising no one, most common fandom was Daredevil (Comics), character was Foggy who slightly edged out Matt somehow, and relationship (again, surprising no one) was Matt/Foggy!

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

I answered with Otomo here, but (even though I wasn't writing from his POV) I also had a lot of fun writing Ryan Atwood (The OC fandom) through Seth's POV. It was an interesting challenge to turn his habit of brooding into something a bit more enigmatic, and I also really enjoyed writing him get angry at Seth since he doesn't usually get angry in that direction.

[canmom]

Animation Night 104: Two Years!

Hey friends! Today we have a very special birthday... that’s right, it’s the two year anniversary of Animation Night - the weekly film night where I try and imbue my love of animated films into a 1800kbps data stream for you to enjoy!

A year ago I wrote a recap post in which I wrote the story of the first year of Animation Night, and gave proper writeups to Aeon Flux and Tekkonkinkreet. And now, crazily, we’ve managed to pull off another year without getting banned from Twitch for weekly copyright violation. Here’s to many more!

Here’s a fun fact: the first episode of Aeon Flux aired less than a month before I was born. Many, many years later I would watch a gifset on Tumblr - the one with the tooth - and get fascinated enough to watch the series. And who knows, perhaps that reawakened something... certainly it planted the seed that eventually grew into this thing.

Now then! the Animation Night Archive is gradually shaping up into its definitive version, so you should have a much easier time finding out what I’ve had to say. Features to come: a comment system (thanks to Staticman) and a detailed writeup of the Japan Animator Expo to act as an introduction to the series. Hopefully this week. But schedules do like to slip...

So, what’s another year of Animation Night brought us? Many, many things! Here’s a few lot of my favourite Animation Nights from the last year, in mostly chronological order...

In Animation Night 53, we got to see two different renowned directors of anime tackle very similar material at the start of the new millenium. Otomo, more so than ever, created a world of sterile precision in Steamboy, a vision fascinated with the intricacies of perspective drawing and machinery yet thin on character; Rintaro took things much more experimental in Metropolis, drawing loosely on both Tezuka and Fritz Lang but very much in its own territory, to absolutely mesmerising effect...

Animation Nights 56 and 57 introduced me to Violet Evergarden, the first attempt to cram a cour of anime of anime into one night... a concept that has frequently proven, perhaps, overly ambitious. As a work of animation, Violet Evergarden is a painfully beautiful statement of KyoAni’s care and attention to detail... but as a story it’s a very odd little thing, as me n mogs ended up discussing...

For Animation Night 58, we took a virtual visit to the Annecy International Animated Film Festival. Much later, I wrote up my impressions of all the short films we watched - an incredibly striking and varied selection. I’m desperate to go to Annecy in person this year, and I just hope being on benefits now will make it affordable.

This is the year we got big into robots! Animation Night 64, fittingly, started the ball rolling with Ichiro Itano’s missile circuses and yak de culture; later we would go and explore the origins of Gundam’s very odd approach to addressing war in Animation Night 88 and 94.

This year I learned a ton more about the theory and techniques of animation! As I approach the great mountain of becoming an animator, more and more foothills come into sight, and the journey just seems to get longer.

Yet all the same, I’m proud of my writeup for Animation Night 65 recounting, as thoroughly as I could manage, the history of rotoscopy! But of all the works we watched that night, the one that stuck with me longest is of course the most controversial: Aku no Hana (The Flowers of Evil), in which the rotoscoped style, unsettling or not, draws out all sorts of subtle tensions and uncertainties appropriate to its characters. A tragedy that it was not able to continue...

On Animation Night 66 (or if you prefer, 6.6 You Can (Not) Watch Eva), we celebrated the end of the long, long wait for the last Rebuild of Evangelion. Astonishingly, Anno and the team at Khara (and surrounding cloud of freelancers and subcontracting studios) pulled it off. At last, we have his answer to the despair expressed so powerfully in The End of Evangelion as a tight, visually striking and incredibly animated film - one that also quietly marked another step towards the successful integration of traditional and 3D animation. There is much to analyse there, but for now all I can say is, I still get a fuzzy feeling thinking back to the time we all got together to geek out about eva haha

Animation Night 68, on Brazil, turned out to be one of my absolute favourite in the entire year. We saw the early days of Brazilian animation, we saw Disney’s beautiful but superficial expression of appreciation for the country in Saludos Amigos, made against a background of union-busting and geopolitical overtures in the midst of WWII; and then we got to see the two incredible Brazilian films that dropped in 2013 acting as if an answer!

Rio 2096: A Story of Love and Fury and Boy and the World both take very different visual approaches to the same subject: the history of resistance and struggle that cuts through Brazilian history. Rio 2096 is concrete, full of historical horror and violence; Boy and the World is more abstract, packed with beautiful musical sequences, but all the more impactful as its picture becomes clear. And together they all came together into a complementary synthesis that you rarely get running a movie night like this!

I feel incredibly lucky to have seen both films lol. Animation rules.

On Animation Night 69, @mogsk​ and I made good on the joke and wrote the most thorough history of sexuality in animation I possibly could, with a particular focus on (what else?) the development of ‘hentai’. And we watched Belladonna of Sadness, a truly incredible movie from the very end of MushiPro, and a selection of other works which deal with eroticism in ways that are touching, funny, and all the other facets of human emotion. It paid off; we had a fantastic time.

On Animation Night 70, I finally broke my ‘no big Ghibli’ rule... but of course, I started at the beginning, and wrote about Hayao Miyazaki’s career. It was fascinating to see how the elements come together: the seeds of Totoro in Panda Kopanda, the complex feelings towards militarism and nature in the episode that got Moomin cancelled... My writing seemed to strike a chord! And we would return to Miyazaki once again on Animation Night 100 when I finally showed the legendary Princess Mononoke.

Animation Night 76 we go see what the Americans were up to in the 80s while all this was going on... and the answer seems to be singing a whole lot of ballads, if the work of outsourcing experts Rankin-Bass is any guide. Return of the King landed a little awkwardly, but the gorgeous and melancholy The Last Unicorn more than made up for it.

Halloween is always great, and Animation Night 77 was no exception. The Chilean stop-motion film about a Nazi cult, The Wolf House, was inventively unsettling, but the real highlight for me was the remarkable one man ero-guro film Shōjo Tsubaki, which takes the intricate manga drawings of Suehiro Maruo into limited animation to tell a strangely moving story of a circus freakshow troupe full of paraphilias. It is hard to find words to describe the mood it creates beyond ‘thoroughly fascinating’. It also, I suppose, marked the general trend towards ‘no content boundaries whatsoever’ that quickly spread to Toku Tuesday lmao.

For Animation Night 79, I was in Northern Ireland, and there I had a chance to find out about someone who seems almost unknown anywhere else: the incredibly talented John McCloskey. As impressed as I was with his command of warping and perspective in pencil, the real high point turned out to be his most recent film, An Béal Bocht (2012), a kind of darkly comic sorta-parable about the long suffering of the ‘Gaels’ and their mischievous responses that really I can only think to compare to Jewish jokes. Really incredible, and I would love for McCloskey to be wider known!

Horny old Osamu Tezuka’s place in history is well known, but going back to see the various adaptations of his Phoenix series on Animation Night 80 was another treat. Each director put their own stamp on the tragedies they were given; Tezuka’s own approach in the crazily ambitious Phoenix 2772 had that sort of delightful odd pacing and brain-bending narrative logic you can expect from his works, while Rintaro, Kawajiri and Hirata all brought the power of Madhouse to bear to tell moving stories in their own very particular ways. Fascinating excursion into anime history...

We returned to Tezuka once again on Animation Night 83, to look at his short films, which are incredibly varied in tone and endlessly experimenting in style. So we saw Hitler get killed by forest animals, a charming street corner full of anthropomorphic animals and posters destroyed by bombing, and a delightfully imaginative series of leaps across the world...

Meanwhile, on Animation Night 81, we dropped in on screenwriter and now director Mari Okada, who managed to channel an isolated childhood and tough relationship to her mother into a great deal of effective character writing. This meant seeing Maquia: When The Promised Flower Blooms, a beautiful film showing the amazing animation of veteran Toshiyuki Inoue to create a powerful novella-like story of the life of a mother and child fleeing genocide.

Animation Night 85, in which I looked into the (surprisingly long!) history of motion capture, was fun in a very different way, because as stupid as it may be, watching Final Fantasy: Spirits Within again in this day and age is actually a blast. The spirit of an era, indeed. Alas, the more recent works to apply the technology like Polar Express and Tintin just end up feeling overproduced and strangely empty. It turns out capturing a lifelike human performance goes much less far than you’d imagine.

On Animation Night 86, I took us to my own home country. As dreadful a blight it may be on world history, now and again Britain has found something powerful to say in animated film. I adored the terribly sad The Plague Dogs, in which two dogs escape from an animal testing lab and find themselves pursued across the country for fear they may carry disease... but alas British audiences didn’t, and it spelled the end for Martin Rosen’s brief career in realist animation. And The Wall proved everything people said it was: a blistering, incisive attack on nationalism and the machinery of social reproduction as they exist here (all the worse under Thatcher).

If I don’t manage to leave this country, I hope I can pick up the torch in attacking it.

On Animation Night 89, we took on Don Hertzfeldt, and I was not prepared! I expected the sardonic humour of Rejected; I did not realise just how impactful I’d find the far-far-future science fiction existentialism of his later films. The World of Tomorrow is incredible; what else to say?

We continued the independent US animator streak on Animation Night 90, with the wide release of Jonni Phillips’s fantastic film Barber Westchester. For films about cults and social control and lack of direction in the capitalist nowhere-scape of south california, with an animation style that’s very deliberately rough, her films end are actually for the most part very wistful and beautiful (as well as frequently very funny!); Barber Westchester opened more questions than it closed in the Secrets and Lies arc, and it didn’t matter at all. Very worth the wait.

Animation Night 91 opened up what I might call the Buddhism-core segment, when we took on the ambitious plan of watching the whole of Naoko Yamada’s adaptation of the Heike Monogatari - at not KyoAni but Science Saru. The result is, honestly, one of the best anime series I’ve ever seen: at once incredibly empathetic, and insightful about the scope and impossibility of telling history; gorgeously composed with Yamada’s photographer’s eye; full of tragic inevitability and also all the stuff of life. Never have I felt more connected to people more than eight hundred years dead!

In Animation Night 92, I indulged my sword lesbian ways, and did my best to hook you all on Revue Starlight - Tomohiro Furukawa’s first statement as an heir to his mentor Ikuhara. As fun as the series is, the film really elevated it further, an exhilarating series of emotionally dense musical duels that evolve the characters and arcs of all these dramatic lesbians. A really great time.

Animation Night 93, we took on the incredible René Laloux, companion to Felix Guatarri (no really!) and later, the Humanoides Association of Moebius et al. Fantastic Planet was indeed fantastic, a brilliant fusion of vivid scifi imagery with masterful Czech cutout animation, and Gandahar was captivating, but it was also a great chance to put those films in context with his earlier more experimental work with patients at La Borde Psychiatric Clinic. Really seriously fascinating guy.

In Animation Night 95, I got to fill in one of the major missing bricks in my understanding of anime history, with the wildly influential Osamu Dezaki. But more than just a history lesson, Dezaki’s work is just plain fun in every genre he tackled, shōnen to shōjo. And honestly, seeing works like Ashita no Joe really explained a lot about how anime storytelling works lol. But then of course was Space Adventure Cobra - an absolutely glorious piece of 80s gender-y scifi that felt just as Humanoides as Laloux’s films.

Animation Night 97 continued the Buddhism-core; I got to do a really thorough writeup on Studio Orange’s great demonstration that CG animation and traditional can compliment each other perfectly, while splendidly adapting what quickly became one of my favourite manga about the tragedy of Buddhist cosmology as experienced by nonbinary rock people.

Rounding up the Buddhism, Animation Night 98 took us to Kyōsōgiga; while the actual night hit scheduling problems, the anime itself was a delightful love letter to Kyoto and its history through some very odd family drama in an immensely inventive setting.

For Animation Night 99 we went back to the Animation Night roots, and watched a short film compilation: Blur Studio and friends’s Netflix compilation Love Death and Robots. All in all, it remained a very mixed bag that very much reflected its origins in the videogame industry: lots of technical showcases of photorealistic animation with strangely unambitious (yet hyper-gory) stories. Which is to say: perfect to watch with friends! And the incontrovertibly standout entries, primarily the work of the fantastic Robert Valley, showed us that someone has indeed taken to heart the lessons of Aeon Flux.

Then, two weeks ago, we returned to China for Animation Night 102, and once again found three remarkably accomplished films! New Gods: Nezha Reborn was a cyberpunk FF7-ish take on mythology as a meeting of wuxia and gangster film, with a relentless pace and fantastic choreography. The Legend of Hei took a popular cute flash series and turned it into a compelling character story about spirits at a fascinating midpoint between Miyazaki film and powers anime. Jiang Ziya followed Ne Zha with a completely different tone - less of a comedy and more a grand adventure film which really pulled out all the stops creating a visual language for a story about rejection of Heavenly authority.

And to take another recurring strand... Looking up the story of particular studios, be it Colorido (AN#72), Wit (AN#101) or even finally giving a proper account to our old friend 4C (AN#76) proved a great way to get a little cross-section of the anime industry and see particular artists evolve. And the Blender open movies (AN#78), in that vein, were a real nostalgia trip for me! I grew up using this program and over the course of my life it flourished... and those movies provide a record of that story.

...why yes, that’s almost every Animation Night we ran this year. I really like this movie night, guys!! Can you imagine there was a time where I wasn’t even that into animation? Wild.

So what’s the plan for tonight? Well, simply put, I want to go back into the archives and show some of the films from early Animation Nights that my current audience might not have had a chance to see! So that means Da Hu Fa, for one, and then perhaps a selection of short films from the first few weeks - but if you have requests for something you missed, I’ll be all ears (time permitting!)

We’ll be starting shortly, so please, if you will, come join me at the same place as ever - https://twitch.tv/canmom!

And, humbly, if you enjoyed this series and would like to help it continue and evolve, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

My baby is two years old...