i need to run off into the wilderness and become a mountain man….i need to be a cowboy…or a forest ranger…i do t fucking know just let me be in the woods…or on a ranch…i don’t care
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Why do all these kink accounts reply to my post about wanting to bite a dude, as a stim. I specifically said, 'not in a kinky way' and so many people have reblogged saying 'yes but also kinky' or 'this but kinky' like dude it's an autism post 😬😬
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𝐍𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢
summary: Oscar misses a team meeting, but when Lando goes to look for him, he gets a surprise
author's note: i finally published my first f1 fic!! sorry it's so short, but I have a bunch of other drafts I'm working on rn that will hopefully be finished soon. also, i literally wrote this at midnight inspired by a picture i saw on Pinterest so it's kinda bad but oh well
warnings: none, just fluff (600+ words)
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It was no secret to anyone that Oscar was a clingy boyfriend. The other drivers loved to compare him to a koala because of how often he would wrap himself around you, pulling you close to him and resting his head on top of yours. Although he often annoyed others by getting distracted by you, they couldn't even blame you for it and even Zak had to admit his clingyness was actually quite cute.
Today however, it was annoying – especially to Lando who had spent the last 20 minutes searching for his teammate after he failed to show up to the team meeting. He had already checked everywhere he could think of and was beginning to contemplate calling the police and reporting the younger boy missing when he heard a faint snore coming from a small room on his left. Slowly pushing open the door, Lando was met with the sight of you and Oscar sleeping on a sofa, your limbs so tightly wrapped around each other that it was hard to tell where you ended and he began.
As quietly as he could, Lando took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you and posted it on his story. He slid it back in his pocket, wondering how to wake his teammate without disturbing you, when Oscar stirred, stretching out his long limbs and opening his bleary eyes.
"Wakey wakey sleepyhead," Lando teased, causing the other boy to groan.
Oscar wriggled his arm out from under you, bringing it up to rub his eyes. "What time is it?" He asked.
"It's almost 2"
"WHAT!" Oscar shot up, accidentally waking you in the process, "shit I missed the meeting didn't I."
"Oz? What's wrong?" You spoke as you sat up, voice still slightly scratchy from sleep.
He froze, looking at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression. "Um... I forgot to set an alarm and I kinda slept through the team meeting."
"Oscar!" You scolded with a laugh, " Zak is gonna be so mad!"
Lando chuckled, making you jump as you hadn't realised he was there. "Oh yeah, he's pissed by the way."
Dragging a hand down his face with a sigh, your boyfriend reluctantly pulled himself out of your arms and stood up. "I'm gonna go catch up with the team," he announced, raking a hand through his hair as he rushed out to the garage.
"Oh I can't wait to see what Zak is gonna say about this" Lando began, a grinning cheekily at you. Narrowing your eyes at him in response, he held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, alright, I'm going!"
Smiling wryly at his childish antics, you began packing away your stuff, knowing that Oscar would be finished soon as he tended to become antisocial when tired. Just as you finished putting the last item in your bag, the Australian appeared in the doorway, affection laced with exhaustion in his eyes as he observed you. When you had finished, he held out his hand for you to grab as he led you through the McLaren hospitality. You had almost reached the exit when a familiar voice rang out behind you.
"Ah, Oscar, there you are!"
You both turned around guiltily to come face to face with a less than pleased Zak Brown. "We missed you in the meeting earlier, mate. I hope that nap was worth it."
"Oh yeah sorry I was um-" Oscar paused, a frown overtaking his features as he realised what the older man had said. "Wait how do you know about that?"
Zak chuckled, calling over his shoulder as he walked away, "Let's just say a certain someone isn't very good at keeping secrets."
"Lando, that absolute muppet!"
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The Carlos and Oscar beef is so fucking funny simply bc Oscar is literally so chill, nothing fazes him at all, one of the most deadpan men to exist and Carlos over here having this random beef with him for no reason, yelling on the radio, pathetic whimpering and complaining and all Oscar's given is a simple "classic Carlos" which is the cherry on top for me .
Oscar is absolutely hilarious without even trying to be and that's why he's one of my faves
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Ozpin is straight up the funniest character in rwby I don't care what ANYONE says
Dude delivers a heartfelt graduation speech and is immediately like "now get out of here"
Not to mention all the Other Shit. Like immediately embarrassing Oscar, giving Ironwood hot chocolate from a tea kettle (and not blinking when Ironwood spikes it), his stupid chair, his dumb ass glasses, the fact that he's dressed for winter in the summer, the fact he throws his students off of cliffs, the sass
Like sir. Who are you
Literally no one talks about how fucking funny Ozpin is and it's so sad
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