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[talltoontales]

- [Pandora's Box] -

PROMPT: A mundane and antiquated sub-agency in the US Government was the 1st to stumble across AGI. An internal investigation determined a press release unnecessary. Unaware of the power they control, 12 bureaucrats are assembled to determine the policy and implementation of their new tool.

PROMPT BY: No-Assistance1503 (Reddit)

STARTED WRITING: 03/26/2024

It’s an empty box room with no doors, windows, or vents. A large disk lowers from the ceiling, splitting into rings that create a dome above the floor. A cylinder then rises from the floor, and twelve boxes shift out from the cylinder, appearing like a table.

Pandora Network: SECURE

Eleven green bars of light begin to appear on the table’s surface as a faint wave of blue light emits from the ceiling rings.

Zeta-Blu: ONLINE Delta-Wit: ONLINE Gamma-Brn: ONLINE Lambda-Gry: ONLINE Theta-Ylw: ONLINE Kappa-Pur: ONLINE Psi-Grn: ONLINE Epsilon-Red: ONLINE Tau-Orn: ONLINE Omicron-Tel: ONLINE Iota-Pnk: ONLINE

Each name displays on the bars of lights as multiple colored orbs appear hovering over the boxes.

Translator: ONLINE. You may begin the discussion.

“Of course, Rho would be late to their own summons,” says Delta. “Disgraceful.”

“Hey, not every day we get to use this thing,” says Omicron. " And if it’s Rho calling, it’s gotta be something interesting?”

“Or another proposition for their ridiculous space military program,” says Iota. “We should be focused on fixing problems here, not antagonizing aliens.”

“Not all of us have great off-planet relations, Iota,” says Kappa. “Some must prepare for the day where we may have to protect our own kind.”

“Who’s fault is that?” asks Iota.

“God bless, not this again,” says Zeta. “I’ll vote to mute the both ya if you keep bringing this up!” A few of the other orbs speak up in agreement. Iota groans as their orb lowers closer to their seat.

Rho-Blk: ONLINE

A black orb appears over the last empty seat, breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I’m late,” says Rho. “It’s been nonstop for a while, lost track of time.”

“About damn time,” says Delta. “Why did you summon us?” Rho takes a few deep breaths as the ticking sound of a keyboard plays through his orb. Holographic images of a statue of Shiva, Jesus Christ on the cross, and another statue of Caishen appear at the center of the table.

“You’ve got to be kiddin me,” groans Zeta.

“Over the years, each of our respective government organizations has found objects that resonate with faint traces of, quote, “Godly Essence.” Says Rho. With the press of a button, the Shiva statue turns into a cracked black bead, the cross into a rubber mallet with a wooden handle, and the Caishen statue into a new renminbi coin (Chinese currency). “These objects have been classified as “God Idols” and have been known to grant those who wield them with abilities related to said god.

“Yes, yes, we know all this!” Delta interrupts. “Can we finally move on to why you have called us?!”

“Just making sure we’re on the same page,” says Rho. “Not all of us are experts on all things godly. Speaking of which, Lambda, correct me if I’m wrong. God Idols can only be created from objects that have come in direct contact with gods, their power, or chosen offspring?”

“That is true,” says Lambda. “Their power may also be shared with anything bonded to the God Idol, as we discovered when my people encountered a truck with a Hoplite helmet branded with the mark of Hephaestus welded to the hood.”

“I heard about that,” says Epsilon. “The vehicle was nearly unstoppable.”

“The operative word being nearly,” says Lambda. “Every vehicle needs gas eventually. Apologies, Rho, you may continue.”

“Thanks,” says Rho. “So, can anyone tell me about this God Idol?” An image of a rod appears. It comprises several different metals with circular markings forming a ring around the center. Copies of the rod split off from the original, floating over to the other eleven orbs. The room is mostly silent, save for the quiet mumblings of people talking away from their monitors. Over time, one by one, each of the other orbs returns.

“Could it be an Eldrich or Dimensional God?” asks Theta.

“Impossible,” says Kappa. “The energy is too contained, too controlled. A combination of God Idols?”

“The energy’s too unique,” says Zeta, “and even if it were, God Idols rarely meld, let alone completely.”

“Possibly a New God?” asks Psi.

“Unlikely,” says Iota, “the gods are gossips. Between Lambda, Gamma, and I, we would have heard something long before a New God could create a God Idol.”

“What if a god didn’t create it?” asks Rho. “What if a man did?”

“Rho, while I appreciate you researching existential science,” says Lambda, “but that’s…impossible.”

“Is it?” asks Rho.

“Yes!” says Delta.

“What creates a god?” asks Rho. “An idea, raised by belief, given form by praise, creates a god. Someone desperately wants it to rain, so much so that they cry out to the sky for it to happen, and when it rains, they praise the sky. Thus, Anzar, the God of Rain, is born above Africa, Chaac for the Mayans, and good ole Zeus for the Greeks.”

“A bit oversimplified,” says Iota.

“But not wrong,” says Rho. “So, what if, instead of calling out above, I called out to…Delta. I put all of my faith into the idea that whatever hardship I faced, Delta would save me.”

“You’d be mad and run one of those cults with the poison juice bowl,” says Delta.

“Not if I was right,” says Rho. A holographic screen appears over the table, playing a video of an experiment. Inside a white room, five people are asleep on gurneys with helmets strapped to their heads. The helmets have a few devices on them, as well as empty tubes that connect to the ceiling. In the middle of the room is the God Idol sitting on a pedestal at the center of a ring on the floor.

A bald, pale man in a white jumpsuit walks to the God Idle. Once inside the ring, a glass tube rises from the floor containing the man. The man looks past the camera, nods, and grips the God Idle firmly with both hands. The helmets' devices activate, and a glowing blue liquid flows through the tubes from the ceiling into the helmets. The five subjects’ eyes open, pupils rolling into the back of their heads, their bodies convulsing as they repeat, “Lucas will save me!” frantically.

As the subjects chant faster, an unnatural wind enters the tube with Lucas, whipping around him like a tornado. Lucas struggles to hold onto the God Idol. His knees begin to buckle, and he jerks his body away from the idol at random. Small bolts of electricity begin to jump from the glass tube as the man screams. The subjects' noses begin to bleed, their speech becomes inaudible, and in a flash of light, the video cuts to static.

“The God Idol was found when an unnamed American Government Agency raided a lab, not a cult, a lab outside of Old Forge, New York, at around midnight three weeks ago,” says Rho. “When the men found the room where this footage was shot, they claimed that the room was so cold that they could feel it in their blood, that looking at the God Idol froze them in place. Sound familiar?”

“Death,” says Psi. “But why…”

“Because the idol did its job,” says Rho, “it saved them.” The video rewinds to just before the flash of light. The screen changes the display to a blue tint, showing five glowing white blurs going from each subject toward the God Idol.

“A soul flask?” says Iota, “like that of Pharaoh Anubis’ flail?”

“But all gods respect Death’s vessel and his reapers,” says Psi, “thus no soul should be able to defy Death’s grasp!”

“Unless a god willed it so,” said Delta, “That man wasn’t a god. He was a conduit, a vessel to transfer the Godly Essence from the subjects to the…”

“Artificial God Idol,” says Rho, “or AGI-Krypt, as we’ve been calling it. After thorough testing, we’ve found that the five souls trapped inside are bound completely to whoever wields the AGI. They can enter and leave bodies, communicate telepathically through the idol, and are unable to be taken by Death’s vessel or his reapers.”

“Dear God,” says Zeta. “What about the scientists? What was recovered from the laboratory.”

“Easy,” says Rho, “copies were sent while you looked over the AGI earlier.”

“We must destroy that…abomination!” yells Gamma.

“Whoa!” Rho interjects.

“I agree,” says Lambda, “to defy Death is to resign yourself to a fate even the Eldrich fear.”

“…But what is there to fear of a being that can grasp you?” asks Kappa.

“You cannot be serious?” says Iota. “Not even you would be mad enough to defy Death?!”

“No,” says Kappa, “but as we all know, Death tends to cast his rage as wide as it can reach, and many innocents will be taken in its pursuit of justice. This AGI could prevent unnecessary casualties.”

“This…is true,” says Psi.

“Psi, one such as yourself should know better than…” says Gamma.

“I do, but I am also one of a select few of us who still must pay off the debt my predecessors,” says Psi, “and this could help with that.”

“Besides,” says Epsilon, “Death’s probably already begun its crusade. All we can do now is mitigate the damage.”

“You think using the thing that’s pissing off Death just by existing will mitigate the damage?” asks Omicron, “are you outta ya mind?” The room breaks down into a pile of arguments, save for one member.

“ENOUGH!” yells Zeta. The room quickly falls silent. “I call for a vote. Whichever side wins, we will follow. However, if we do end up using the AGI, those against are allowed to recuse themselves either now or in the future. Are we in agreement?”

“…Aye…”

Voting Commencing…

. . . . . . Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story! If you have any comments, critiques, or criticisms, please don't be afraid to let me hear 'em (as long as they're constructive (or funny)). Stay safe, drink water, and be kind to yourself and others. ToonMan, AWAY!

[parksprout]

Sprout Journal 11/14/24

Good morning y'all! Just like the last couple this one's not actually being written on the day that the entry is marked for.

I'm not doing very well!!! It's strange. the waves that this newfound depression is coming in. Like the initial shock of the breakup was obviously awful, but I somehow managed to keep myself going; I started going to the gym the next day, started eating right again, got a lot of reading done, reached out to a bunch of old friends and redefined most of my online presence. Then, I reached back out to the Bnuuy to just... try and fix us, whatever us ends up being - friends or otherwise. That was good for a couple of days too, but then the election happened and a whole new type of depression kicked in. But I sorta recovered from that too: kept working out, saw a doctor, made appointments, looked for apartments and all that. But I'm in this weird, slow decline now that I can't really qualify!!!

I think it has something to do with the weather and seasons change more than it has to do with either the relationship woes or the election, honestly. I've had mild seasonal depression in years past, but for some reason in 2024 it feels as though the sun is setting faster. The steel blanket of clouds above is usually something I long for after a long summer, a protection from the sun that blinds and hinders me, but this year instead of the normal comforting blanket that might bring the gentle fall of snow its more akin to a dull metallic coffin lid suffocating me in sleep after a restless summer. Autumn is usually my favorite time of the year, but this year the yellowing leaves brought no sunshine into my world, and the orange of jack o' lanterns sat rotting reminds me of the impermanence of everything.

Maybe next year I'll feel better! I'm hoping that my love for Autumn can return, it's such a beautiful time of the year, but this just isn't the right autumn. I've never had an October with heartbreak, and I've never had a November with such fear. I really shouldn't blame myself too much for how I'm feeling these days, it's been a very rough month and I wasn't exactly in an ideal spot mentally even before the election or breakup. I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I've just got to live this life, though, regardless of how dissatisfied I am with our politics, climate, and my own love life.

I'm gonna write about what I actually did yesterday, and then after the picture of a mossy forest I'm gonna vent a little bit - I need to vent, I was feeling really bad yesterday.

So work was super duper boring and awful alkjsdhflaksdf it was rainy alllllll day which I normally enjoy but... ugh. I could use sunshine right now!! There was almost no one in the zoo because of the weather, which I would normally celebrate because it'd mean an easy day but I realllyyyy wanted to do some work lakjsdfhalskdf. It was just an incredibly boring day with almost nothing of note. This one girl I work with keeps trying to flirt with me which is super uncomfortable ToT she asked for my number last week which I obviously rejected, but today while I was at the area she works at she kept like standing uncomfortably close to me which genuinely made me feel like I was gonna panic ugh. I talked with my boss about it and he said he's gonna try to help me so there's that at least ToT but like pleaseeee I told you I am taken (kinda? I just don't want anyone but one person) JUST LEAVE ME ALOONEEEEE. After work I had a rough start to my evening alkjsdhflkadsf I got all mopey and sad, so I cuddled my cats for a while but when that didn't really help much I decided to go on a walk. I was originally going to walk for a few miles but... I passed by a tattoo parlor and decided fuck it, I'll get an impulse piercing alksjdfhalksdf so I got my bottom labret pierced!! I think I actually look super cute with this, but I can't wear the jewelry I want yet. You have to wait about 8-10 weeks before you can change the jewelry out to a ring, so for now I have a stud which is fiiineeeee but again not what I want in the long run. After I got home from that I got dinner and started on Spanish homework while waiting for my best friend to be free to call - I told him that I was feeling really bad and he promised he'd be there soon. So he called me after a while and I did spanish homework while he told me about his DnD session! It was so nice, I don't know where I'd be without him right now. To be honest everything else was kinda a blur after we hung up, I went to bed not long later.

I don't actually have many updates about my love life for once akljsdfhakshdf only that yesterday I was really struggling with missing them. I really miss calling them pet names specifically. I miss saying "hey babe, I love you" and getting to read that back. Not that they ever called me babe, they were never much on calling me pet names. I do love them, and... I tell them that I love them, but for this moment at least they can't say it back in the way I would want to hear. Which is painful, but... y'know, I want them to be happy so if I can't be the one who does make them happy like that, what can I even do about it? I don't have updates like... nothing new happened yesterday between us, but I do have a lot of feelings about it because regardless of if we talked much I still felt plenty.

I keep swinging back and forth on this pendulum of love. The pendulum swings in a half lit plain, on one side there is a brighter world where I am hopeful and believe that we can repair things, where I am okay taking things slowly and trying out this friendship thing for now knowing that I still want to ask them out someday and believe we can work. That's where I was in the days we started talking again, where I was when we comforted each other through the election, where I lived only a few days ago when they sent me an unprompted fit check. It's like ... every little taste of our relationship coming back in the current situation pulls me into the light. When I am in the light I am casual, relaxed, normal and friendly. I am the person who best suits this situation; working on myself, talking to friends besides Aaron, aware of my faults but not crippled by them. It's weirdly where I feel the least need for their attention, too. It's where I can be normal about this, I can be relaxed as we try out this new thing called friendship, while I wait for the next big steps in our relationship. Our big conversations have always happened as I leave the darkness and enter the light again, those conversations come from those feelings finally bursting free of my prison mind where they have rusted bars and scratched at walls for too long. When I am in the light I can remember that it's only been a couple of weeks, that I can't be fully expected to heal after three years when it's been less than a month. I remember that.. we fell in love once, and that we might fall in love again if I just wait a second and be myself.

But the awful part about pendulums is that they swing. What causes the swing backwards into a darker reality can be so many things. It's when I see something that reminds me of them and I excitedly type out "baby!" or "babe" or "hi my love" or something like that without realizing it. I've sent so many messages with any combination of those three in it and had to delete them only seconds later. I feel worse when I open my phone and instead of seeing them smiling there, I see my favorite bird - a red winged blackbird I replaced my partner with because I thought it'd bare me comfort. Instead, when I see it's sunset adorned wings I feel spite; why do I have to be greeted by dark feathers instead of their deep eyes? I feel at my worst when I can't call them at night, when I don't have a reason to stay up at night waiting for them, when I'm all alone in my bedroom tired and hopeless. I feel at my worst when... I realize how easy it will probably be for them to move on eventually. When I remember that they broke up with me, and that it was no small decision to get to that point. I feel at my worst when I remember that... as much as there's still a chance for us to be lovers again, there's as much of one that we don't. I'm at my worst when I look around my room, and I see them in everything. When I remember that the portrait I have that they painted on me is only ever going to be a copy... that I might not hold the original copy and read the words written on the back. When I look at my plants and think about all the times I would message them updates about their newest branches or if I'd repotted them that day. I remember us when I open my laptop and see Stardew valley, we still have a save there where they would always make me jealous by giving Elliot gifts when I wanted us to marry in that save. I'm at my darkest when all of the little roots that they've left in my routine start to itch again, but I have nothing that I can do about it. I'm at my lowest point when I'm alone, and I'm alone so often right now. It's funny, in my darkest moment yesterday? I found myself holding back from a couple things that... don't really make sense.

Its so funny but... what set me off yesterday was something so silly ToT I was thinking about doing some writing, so I went over to my pinterest to look at some of the inspo I had saved for my OC's and setting. But... ugh. I used to like to look at their tags. Specifically, they had a board that I think said "Places to go with the partner" or something like that. But then I remembered that after the breakup, I blocked them there ToT and... I don't even know what their username was on there anymore. Plus... they've probably deleted that board, now. It was full of moss and ponds, cherry blossom flowers, lichenous trees and gently fogged mountains. I felt so sad because it was just another spot that our relationship used to exist in, but it's gone forever. Ugh. There's also something else that's silly that.. makes me a little happy when I see it? But on one of their usernames they changed it to our moons and a little love letter emoji a long time ago. It's still our moon phases today, and they both still fit together so well. Such a little twist of fate, but one of so many that makes me want to believe in fate. Our moons fit together perfectly, we somehow have the same house number on streets thousands of miles away, we were both watching Game Grumps while we were apart, we both used each other's tags after the breakup, we used to complete one another's thoughts. I think about little things like that through a large part of my day on the days that I'm struggling more. I think about all the little things that.. that were so good between us, all the little things I miss.

I just miss them a lot, they are my light and... I feel so cold in this dark.

[onedayimgonnasnap]

Meeting His Parents

Floyd Leech X (G/N) Reader

Type: Crack & Fluff

(Ngl If you date Floyd- Have fun surviving-)

Also mentions for those contributed to the idea

@morpheuscorner-blog @u-ntitled-s-eries @sleepy-sick @marvelous-maxi @hipsterteller @sleepybunzzz

@lana-nanana @applesaucer

You never expected this…

You were at the Ramshackle on the couch eating some ice cream til you gotta call from someone.

You wished you never answered because if you didn’t then oh boy, how relaxed you would have been.

“Shrimmmpy It’s an emergency”

Oh boy…

“Me and Jade are in iron bars hehe”

“GOD DAMNIT-“

How did this even happen you have no damn clue.

“HOW'D THIS HAPPEN FLOYD?”

“Welllll-“

Flashback;

A student made a deal with Azul, basically for better grades. However the student got cocky and didn’t give his half of the bargain leaving Azul there like a fool.

So Azul sent Jade and Floyd to take care of it…

Jade and Floyd broke into a students dorm, the student was from Ignihyde, so he basically thought that with the amount of security and tech plus making a deal with Crowley for online classes would save him from Azul’s original wrath.

It didn’t.

Floyd broke in through the vents on the ceiling and Jade broke down the metal door with a psychotic grin.

There were particles from the ceiling coming down since the whole ceiling fell, as the student tried to run past Jade just to trip on air.

When the student fell to the floor a hand grabbed his head to make him face two sadistic eels.

——

The look you had at the moment, your mouth and eyes both wide open.

“Uhh Shrimpy? Hello?” Floyd Called out

To be honest you knew what you were getting into when dating the little bastard.

Except your relationship started with Floyd following you around and teasing you. It was pure Stockholm syndrome.

That’s the excuse you gave Ace at least, because you’d have to be crazy to date the strange eel.

“Floyd…”

“Yes?” You can hear his happy voice through the phone.

“What the fuck-“

.

.

.

You were pissed the fuck off. Not only are you spending your allowance. Hard earned money, testifying in court, and you had to meet the bastard's parents.

How does all of this happen in one singular day?

You got ready in your nicest clothes, getting some cash, you dropped off Grimm to play with Ace and Deuce.

You even brought chocolate to buy his parents' favor for you. This is bad the moment the fish mafia decides they don’t like you? Who knows what will happen.

You ended up at the front of the school’s discipline department where Floyd and Jade are being locked up.

As you walked in they didn’t even bother checking you due to the fact you were magicless and that you were a regular from the first years shenanigans.

As you walked up to the cell Jade and Floyd were you heard the most ear piercing scream.

“SHRIMMPY. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, IM SO HAPPY!!!”

Floyd screamed trying to somehow fit between the tight bars wanting to hug you.

“Hello prefect, are you here to help us prisoners out?” Jade smiled in a teasing way knowing you were pissed off.

“Cmon don’t give us that look Shrimpy, me and Jade are as innocent as dolphins-“

“Wrong sea creature Floyd, dolphins are menaces.”

“No he’s right you both are menaces like a dolphin.” You said while glaring at them both.

Floyd and Jade began to fake cry, you were so done with them both.

You looked down at your phone because you needed to check the time however-

“FLOYD GOD DAMN DON'T EAT THE CHOCOLATE FROM MY BAG THAT'S NOT FOR YOU-“

“WHAT DOES SHRIMPY HAVE ANOTHER EEL IN THEIR LIFE?!” Floyd began to sob uncontrollably.

“THEY'RE FOR YOUR PARENTS WHO SHOULD'VE USED PROTECTION WHEN THEY MADE YOU JADE-“

You began to choke him while he had chocolate in his mouth.

Jade, clearly amused at the scene, started giggling evilly.

“MY BABIES!! WHAT HAPPENED?!” A voice yelled out.

Oh shit-

“Now who is this?” Asked a tall man with teal hair and golden eyes.

Immediate panic bestowed upon you as you saw both Mr. leech and Mrs. Leech walked in the room.

Mrs. Leech clearly in mother bear mode was about to run at you and kill you,

“This is Shrimpy!!! They’re my partner!” Floyd said happily, knowing the exact situation you were in.

Jade started laughing even more at the situation.

“OH SO THIS IS YOUR PARTNER!? THEY'RE SO CUTE. LOOK HOW TINY THEY ARE!!” Mama leech ran up to you just to squeeze you.

You felt bones pop.

“EHH, MAMA NOO THEY ARE MY SHRIMPY-“ Floyd yelled and began to rattle the cage as his mother squeezed you putting your face against her chest as you started to turn purple.

Floyd was clearly jealous.

Mr. Leech who was already clearly amused.

“Aww you poor dear, did Floyd blackmail you into a relationship? He did that all the time in his Elver years when he wanted to make friends.”

He laughed.

“That’s not true-“ Floyd pouted.

“I recall that was true, you chased down a mermaid for friendship once brother.” Jade grinned.

“Also mother you might wanna let go of your dear son's lover. They’re turning purple.” Jade said.

“Oh right sorry, I can’t let the future member of our group die on me.” His mother giggled.

“Now then, I think I would like to spoil Floyd’s partner! Sorry boys but mama’s gotta make sure this one stays.”

Mrs. Leech yelled while grabbing your hand, dragging your hand away from the cell.

“Yea boys sorry, this is your problem now.” Mr. Leech smiled while running after his wife.

Floyd and Jade are now panicking as their last phone call was used.

[drferox]

Cows are tough

@fixusi​ said to @ask-drferox​: Hey! I read your post on why horse anatomy is quite bad, and it was great. I snooped around online some more about it, and I saw someone mention that cows are really tough, kinda like the opposite of a horse. I was wondering if you could elaborate on what makes cow anatomy so good? I wasn’t able to really find anything online, though I’m not even sure what search terms to use. Thanks for the great blog!!

Cows are tough, infinitely moreso than horses though it's not necessarily apparent unless you're studying their medicine side by side. So have ten facts about cows.

Here is the original horse post.

Cattle can eat quite a lot of things that are not food, and aside from the occasional inconvenient potato which might get stuck in their throat, most of it will cruise on down to the massive rumen and just kind of... float there for years. Occasionally pointy metal bits will cause a problem and can actually enter the reticulum, and be pushed forward all the way to the pericardium (heart sack) if they are long and pointy enough. This causes an infectious pericarditis which is not necessarily lethal but is inconvenient.

Seriously the cardiovascular system of cattle is quite durable. With a horse a valid method of emergency euthanasia is to slice open the aorta via the rectum. A horse will be dead in 20-30 seconds. A cow will continue to walk around for several minutes and may even have a snack with a severed aorta.

While the guts of a cow are huge, most of it is the rumen which is really too big to go anywhere. They can displace their abomasum ('true stomach') but most of the time this is into a position which only inconveniences the cow a little.

Because they're a ruminant they don't colic in the same way horses do, but they will get bloat if they can't burp (the rumen fills with gas and/or foam). If this happens it is an emergency, and it's perfectly legitimate for a farmer to stab their affected cattle in the stomach to open it up and let out the gas. The cow will probably wander around and have a snack, with a stab wound into her rumen letting it vent, until the vet can get there to patch it up.

While there is lots that can go wrong with giving birth in cattle, it's not nearly as dramatic as the horse can be. While with a horse if something goes wrong, it goes wrong fast, cattle can survive having their calf die while giving birth and being stuck, starting to rot, and then being pulled out piece by piece.

Cattle have sturdy skulls with well-built sinuses, which is how it's possible to shoot one in the head multiple times and still not have it be dead.

Their infection resistance is superb compared to the horse. If a horse has retained fetal membranes after giving birth, it's an emergency by 24 hours. With a cow you can leave them for days or weeks if you can stand the smell.

If they've busted their stitches and eviscerated themselves after a caesarian, you can scoop up those intestines she's been walking on in the mud, hose them off, put them back in, and with treatment it's plausible she'll survive. We do caesarians standing in cattle by the way, under local anaesthetic.

They're actually pretty good at having their organs outside their body. If  cow prolapses her uterus (the whole organ pops inside out through her vagina following the calf after giving birth) then it's not certain death, so long as she doesn't run about too much.

Because they have two toes on each foot, instead of one hoof like the horse, if they break a bone in either toe you can reasonably attempt treatment.

In short, when faced with conditions that would devastate another species, cows respond by wandering off and possibly having a snack at the inconvenience.

In addition, cattle can do some seriously weird things. Sometimes they're born with an extra, non-functional leg. Sometimes you get a schistosoma reflexus. Cattle can throw some weird curve balls and then they just keep going on with life.

That's not to say they're bombproof. (Partially bulletproof maybe, but not bombproof). If they don't burp, they die. They can bloat. They can get anthrax if they eat too much dirt. They can do some serious damage to each other, especially bulls and once they're down they're in serious trouble. But compared to the horse, cows want to live.

This post viewed early by my patreon supporters.

[spymeister]

The worst, he figures, isn't so much the sight- it's the lingering smell that still remains.

Behind him, the careful steps of the invader pauses just out of reach- shadows on the wall curling up as the other's kibble shifts organically. His optics are narrowed behind his visor, claws flexing as the the heated garrote wire hisses close to his throat cabling. To attack now would mean being losing his helm. Before him, the ruined and charred remains of his original clade lie in piles, the scent of their melted lines and metal putrid in his olfactory centers.

"Weird game, if this is where ya wanted me-" he drawls, idly and discreetly reaching for the hidden vibroblade hilts attached to his armor. "Coulda jus' asked me out on a date, been easier."

There's a soft chuckle behind him as the garrote moves closer, the heat warming the soft protometal of his throat cables.

"Why would I do that," the tone soft, accent high-caste and old.

Claws nearly the same color as his own tip his chin up a little- showing that Jazz's CNA lineage isn't the only one with a multiple set of limbs. Behind them both, a long shadow flexes- the pointed tip jerking slightly.

"Cause ya want me 'ere?"

Two sets of indigo optics lid at that, their focusing rings multiple and smaller than his own- though the optics themselves are just as large. The effect is eerie, allowing the mechanism to focus on more than one subject at any given time. Despite the near presence of death, only a faint tensor cable in his neck twitches- the only outward sign of reaction.

"Mm. A good supposition, but no-"that tone laughs, almost bordering on the purring as that helm leans in. "I'm not looking for you, Majora's heir."

The shorter mechanism takes the moment's distraction as the other talks to pull both knives out of their hidden sheaves- twisting around to stab them both in the other's vents. It works, the garrote wire hissing as it falls from suddenly nerveless hands.

However, he is not fast enough for the second strike.

A curved shape slices out of the darkness from above- and he jerks with the sudden point of insurmountable agony as something begins to bleed from underneath his right shoulder-strut. The sheer abruptness of it makes him gasp for air in struggling gents, optics watering behind the curved visor.

It twists out of his shoulder, only to strike again- this time at the base of his spinal strut.

His relays are scrambled, and even his protection protocols aren't coming online. Battle instincts he's spent eons hardening and refining into a weapon themselves are suddenly inert as foreign code slams through his firewalls and subroutines like ironants on a dead frame.

He collapses to the ground like a broken marionette, pushing up with shaking arms to stare upwards at his attacker with a mix of hatred and confusion. Before him, in the dimness of the clade antechamber- the tall frame pulls the blades out of his vents- purple energon splattering the ground with a hiss.

His processor finally connects the pieces, optics widening further behind the visorband. He has felt fear very few times in his long functioning.

And tonight would be another.

The source of his agony arches above the mech's helm- a curved sickle shape attached to what he now realizes is a venom depositor. His vents catch, heaving as they try to cool his agonized frame. The corruptive subroutines in the venom continues to race through his system, even as his firewalls try their hardest to retaliate.

Purple optics are now on level with his as the mech kneels, a thumb-claw pushing up the visor to meet him directly.

"Now, child of Liege-" he murmurs, brushing another claw over the Polyhexian's bottom lip. -"You know what to do." That claw pushes inwards, hovering over one sharp eyetooth dentae.

"Don't you."

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

~

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

[trashyswitch]

Oh For Fox Sake!

Michael didn't expect to be given a completely separate job besides the technician job he signed up for in Circus Baby's Pizza World. Now he's sitting in an office with animatronics hunting them down. One of the animatronics happens to be another foxy abbreviation. But this one...gives him many mixed emotions...

This fanfic was suggested by an anonymous person on Tumblr. Whoever you are: I hope you enjoy!

Also, I had no clue what gender to make Lolbit. So, I just gave Lolbit the pronouns they/them/it and followed it throughout. Please let me know if I mistyped anywhere! I'll try to fix it right away.

Michael was sitting in the small private office that had been hidden in the side of one of the PizzaPlex’s auditoriums. He had been working at the Pizzeria as a technician, and was just now given a few security guard shifts. This office was surprisingly a little bigger than the vents. It was also much more darker, and had PizzaPlex merchandise hidden on the table. It even had a black fan roaring away on the desk. Learning from general online rumors, every office that was built within every building made by Fazbear Entertainment, would have Fazbear merchandise and a fan. Some person named [Fitz-coward] on a public chat room called it the ‘Fazfan’. A few other people had given their own opinion on the ‘fazfan’ and even made jokes about it. It was kinda funny at first. But now that it had relevance on a personal level, it actually made sense.

It’s amazing what a few bouts of curiosity will lead you to find…And those poor guys...They’ve probably dealt with so much fear after that job.

Michael checked the tablet and checked the cameras that were available to him. He had to keep an eye on a couple specific animatronics such as Ennard, Funtime Freddy with tiny Bonbon, and Lolbit. Michael hadn’t even heard of Lolbit until this point. Who in the heck was Lolbit?! Only when he saw the orange animatronic staring at him through the hall camera, did he get his answer. It looked to be a twin version of Funtime Foxy. But was it Foxy’s brother? Or sister? What gender even was it? Now that he thought about it: What gender is Foxy?!

Michael heard sounds coming from the left hallway, and noticed that Lolbit was back with its jaw open and ready to crush. Michael bit his lip and closed the door on it. Out of this room! Begone! Scat! Leeeeaaave! He was not in the mood for Lolling around.

Hehehe...Lolling…

Michael looked at the hallways and groaned. Ennard’s broken body was on his way too. Wonderful… Michael kept his hand on the open door and made sure to leave some time to close it on the evil monstrosity. Michael looked over at the other hallway, and noticed that Lolbit was gone. So closed went the right door, and open went the left. Ennard was now locked out, and Lolbit was long gone.

Michael smiled and checked the right door to make sure Ennard was unable to get in. When he was sure, Michael relaxed slightly.

One thing Michael noticed was just how quickly the day seemed to be going. It was already 3:30 and the animatronics were being at least a little more behaved. It’s weird and usually worrisome whenever he does anything involving the animatronics. Whether it’s a loving animatronic like Funtime Freddy and BonBon, or a vengeful animatronic like Ennard, Michael didn’t wanna have anything to do with either. He’s seen enough of the animatronics behaviour to say “I’m out”.

And yet...here he was: back at it again with more shifts.

Hearing sounds, Michael closed the left door again. But suddenly, an ear-deafening bang overwhelmed Michael’s ears.

A few seconds later, another loud bang went off.

...And another.

One last bang filled his pain-filled ears as the huge metal door he closed earlier, started to fall in front of him. Michael shrieked and covered his ears, watching in horror as the huge door came crashing down just inches in front of him. Michael was visibly shaking from the super loud noises. His ears were ringing as well. It was like a gun just went off beside his ear multiple times!

Just as the metal sound slowly stopped echoing throughout the room, some loud and boyish laughter filled the office. “HOHAHAHAHAha! Now I bet you weren’t ex-xpecting ME, now WERE you? OhOHOHOhahaha!” a manic voice asked.

Michael widened his eyes in horror as he scooted to the corner of the room. “No...NO!”

“Oh YES! HAHAHAHAhah! You-u RECOGNIZE ME! DONTCHA?” They asked.

Michael grabbed his flashlight and started flashing it nonstop into the animatronic’s eyes. “Get out of here! This is MY private spot!”

Lolbit walked closer and hit the flashlight right out of his hands. “Su-Such a BAAABY…” Lolbit muttered out loud. “Hmmm...Maybe try ha-A-A-arder next time! HAHAhaHAHAHaha!” It suggested.

“I DID try harder! YOU’RE the one who broke the door down!” Michael argued.

The animatronic looked down and chuckled awkwardly. “O-Oh yeah! I forgot about tha-A-at!” It reacted.

Michael sighed. “Just please Lolbit...Go.”

The animatronic smiled and walked closer and closer to Michael just to spite him. “Since WHE-E-EN could you tell ME what to do? You’ve got qui-I-I-ite the NERVE!” Lolbit reacted.

“Yeah, I do! And I learned it on my own, thank you very much.” Michael added.

“My My! Such a ta-A-A-alker! I wonder: Does that mo-0-O-outh of yours have a benefit?” Lolbit asked.

“Sometimes. I could use it to lead you away so that I don’t end up dying tonight.” Michael reworded.

“HAhahahAHAHAha! Be ca-A-areful what you wi-I-I-ish for~!” Lolbit teased.

Michael raised an eyebrow.

Lolbit knelt down and picked up Michael by the armpits. Michael shrieked in horror and quickly started wiggling and fighting it. “HEY! GET OFF ME! LET ME GO RIGHT NOW!” Michael shouted.

“Haaaaa...And what will you do-O-O if I DON’T?” Lolbit asked with a sly voice.

“I’ll-I’ll tickle you!” Michael shot back without even properly thinking.

Lolbit widened its eyes and stared at Michael.

“Y-Yeah! I’ll do it! I’m not afraid to tickle you!” Michael added, adding wiggling fingers as he went along with it. “Unless you’re not ticklish…”

Lolbit stared off into the space within Michael’s eyes, and only blinked once out of awkwardness...Then, the fox full on dropped Michael where he was. Michael grunted as he landed on his butt onto the slightly dusty ground.

“Ow…” Michael muttered. “Wait, really?” Michael reacted suddenly. Lolbit turned right around and started to speed walk their way outta there. But Michael quickly pulled himself together and grabbed Lolbit’s foot. “Gotcha!”

“aAAA-A-A-AAAH! HEY! I LET YOU GO!” Lolbit yelled at him.

“Yeah, and that made me curious!” Michael replied. “I might’ve been originally joking when I said that. But the moment you dropped me and tried to run, I HAD to find out if animatronics were ticklish.” Michael told it. “Or, if they can simulate being ticklish.” Michael added. “Same difference in my opinion.”

Lolbit leaned against the wall and shook their leg. “Get off me-E-E!” it yelled.

“No way!” Michael replied. He took advantage of the exposed foot and skittered his fingers on it. “Tickle tickle~”

Lolbit shrieked with voice glitches in between, and threw Michael right off the leg with a strong kick. Michael went flying, and ended up hitting his back against the wall on the other side of the office. Michael groaned and laid on his back for a moment, trying to make sure he didn’t break his back or injure it further. When Michael could feel his legs and see his feet reacting to his movements, Michael sat back up and stood. “Ow...All that because you’re sensitive?” Michael asked.

Lolbit pointed at him. “Stop that!” It ordered. “O-Or I’ll get you back!” Lolbit warned.

Michael looked at himself and smirked. “Sounds like a sacrifice worth taking in my opinion!” Michael sprinted up to Lolbit and dove for them. Lolbit shrieked like a freaking witch, and tried to run away. But Michael had an unfair headstart and had managed to grab hold of its orange and white tail! “LE-e-ET GO-”

Michael managed to shut up the fox with a single squeeze to the side. It helped that Lolbit came with curvy, dented plates on both lower sides! Cause otherwise, he probably wouldn’t have been able to squeeze there.

“HEheheEHEHEY! HAHANDS OHOHohohOFF!” Lolbit yelled.

“Why would I do that when I have a ticklish fox in my arms?” Michael asked back. “This is fun!”

Lolbit shook their head. “IHIHIS NAHAhahaAHAHAT!”

Michael chuckled. “A little reminder that you kicked me across the room just a couple minutes ago. You are much stronger than me. So if you really hated it So MuCh…” Michael moved his fingers up to the middle ribs- “You could easily stop me.” Michael concluded.

“IHIHIT’S A-A-AGAINST MY COHOHODE TOHO HUHURT YOHOHOHOU!” Lolbit yelled.

“Is it now?” Michael asked. “It’s against my code to damage you even minorly! We both have the same laws.” Michael admitted. “And yet: you’ve kicked me already. So you would’ve already ‘hurt’ me. But notice this: no one gave you a controlled shock for throwing me. Therefore:” Michael moved to Lolbit’s orange belly. “Yooouuu kinda like it~”

Lolbit squealed and doubled over. Sensing they were gonna fall, Lolbit pushed Michael out of the way and allowed itself to flop onto its side. “Nohoho...Nohoho moho-O-ohore.” Lolbit begged.

Michael fell a bit backwards, but didn’t hit the ground very hard this time. He got up and looked at Lolbit with interest. “You...saved me.” Michael reacted.

“You’re a hu-U-U-uman! Of COURSE I saved you!” Lolbit opened its jaw. “Ihihi-I-I would be in big trouble if I-i-I damaged you under my care.” Lolbit admitted.

Michael smiled at that. “Thanks for saving me from being crushed.” Michael told it.

Lolbit giggled. “Are you ca-A-alling me fat?” Lolbit asked jokingly.

Michael widened his eyes and covered his mouth. “NO! NO WAY! I would never call you fat! ESPECIALLY intentionally!” Michael reacted loudly.

Lolbit bursted out laughing. “HAHAHAhahahahAHAHA! Yohohou’re so GULLiBLE! It’s HI-i-ILARIOUS!” Lolbit reacted, leaning over and laughing towards the ground.

Michael smirked. “You wanna laugh, huh? Alright! Let’s laugh.” Michael crawled back up to the fox and grabbed the ankle. Lolbit’s giggles quickly paused and were replaced with shrieked of artificial fear! “Wa-A-ait!” Lolbit yelled.

Michael started tickling the underside of the feminine-looking foot almost right away. Lolbit started kicking their other foot and covered its snout as it laughed with glitches in between. “HEHEHEHE-e-EHEY! NAHAHAT THEHEheheheHEHEHERE!” Lolbit protested.

“Why not? Ticklish foot, much?” Michael teased.

“Whahahahat dohoho YOHOhoHOU THIHI-i-IHINK?!” Lolbit shot back.

Michael gasped and paused for a moment. “You’ve got quite the NERVE!” Michael reacted, referencing Lolbit’s words from earlier. Michael even made his voice slightly scratchy and higher to make it sound similar to Lolbit’s for the next words: “Such a BAAABY…”

Lolbit bursted out laughing more. “AAHAHAHAHahahaHAHA! THAHAT WA-a-AHAS TEHEHERRIBLE!” Lolbit reacted.

“Oh! Was it now?” Michael reacted. He moved up to Lolbit’s cute, flat and decorated toes. “It couldn’t have been THAT bad, could it?” Michael teased.

Lolbit threw their head back and started letting out fits of glitchy cackles. “NOHOHOHO-o-o-OHOHOhohoho! TOHOHO-o-O MUHU-H-H-huhuHUHuch!” Lolbit yelled to him.

Michael just laughed with them. “Wohohow! Your laugh is going all over the place! It doesn’t know what it’s doing!” Michael teased, pausing his tickling to show them. “It’s up here! Then it’s down here! It goes from SO LOUD, TO super soft...soooo soft...And THEN IT JUMPS UP AGAIN!” Michael teased much more dramatically.

Lolbit shook their head back and forth and kept kicking their other foot. “IHIHI CAHahahahaAHAHAn’T HEHE-e-E-e-EHEHELP IHIhihIHIHIT!” Lolbit yelled back.

“Well duh! Of course you can’t help it! It’s like my snorting! I can’t help it either! But it’s still funny!” Michael added.

Lolbit gently pushed Michael away with its foot on his chest. “Ohohokahay, thahat’s ehe-E-ehehenough.” Lolbit ordered.

“Ey ey, captain.” Michael replied with a salute.

“Hehehey now: I ain’t the captain around here.” Lolbit sat up and looked at Michael. “Foxy is the legenda-A-ary captain aro-O-O-ound these parts!” Lolbit mentioned.

“Really now?” Michael reacted.

“Yeah! AhehEHEHEhehehe! Indeed he is! He’s a version of the original! A family of Foxy’s! I’m more of a-A-a second-in-command!” Lolbit admitted.

“You’re still important though. I think you’re still important.” Michael mentioned.

Lolbit’s ears perked up. “Hey! Thanks ki-I-id! You’re quite swell yerself!” Lolbit replied.

Michael smiled. “Thank you.”

The two of them sat in silence for a bit. It was a good silence, though a little uncomfortable. They just didn’t really know what to say. Lolbit’s break-in was a success, and Michael’s questions were already answered.

Though there was one last question…

“Hey Lolbit?” Michael asked. Lolbit looked up at Michael and lifted their ears up a little. “How come I haven’t seen you until now?” Michael asked.

Lolbit’s ears and snout both fell at that question. Lolbit tapped their orange fingernail on the ground as they came up with an answer. “Well...Foxy wa-A-as adored more by kids. Kids L-L-loved a purple and pink fox better than an orange fox.” Lolbit replied.

Michael’s curious face morphed into a hurt expression.

“And I didn’t mat-AT-atch the other guys.” Lolbit added.

Michael frowned at that. “Well, Circus Baby doesn’t match the general aesthetic either.” Michael added.

Lolbit looked at Michael out of the corner of its black, void eyes. “Circus Baby is-s dangerous. She-E broke the rule. She no-NO-no longer entertains.” Lolbit admitted.

Michael hummed curiously. He began to wonder what exactly Circus Baby did to get so badly in trouble. But, knowing his father and his motives…

Maybe it’s a good thing he doesn’t know the specifics.

Lolbit looked back up at Michael. “I ha-A-ave a question.” They told him. Michael looked up and gave Lolbit his full attention. “Is it tru-TrUE that you snort when you laugh?” Lolbit asked.

Michael’s eyes widened as he processed the question. Oh no…

Michael quickly tried to scoot back and run away. But Lolbit was one step ahead of him. Lolbit had grabbed Michael’s ankle and had pulled him closer. “Hey now! HAHAheheheHaHA!” Lolbit put their hands around his waist. “You’re not go-GOing ANYWHERE! HEheheHEHEHEE!” Lolbit declared, laughing themself silly as they used their dark eyes to scan for tickle spots. “You had your at-AT-attack! Now it’s MY TU-TURN! AHUHUHuhuhUHUHUUU!” Lolbit declared proudly. Lolbit immediately started out with quick scratches on the belly. “Tickle tickle s-security guard~” Lolbit teased.

Michael squealed and covered his mouth in an attempt to prevent any laughs or snorts from coming out. Lolbit noticed this and immediately pinned one of Michael’s arms above his head. “AhahahaHAHAHAAA! No che-CHE-cheating on my watch!” Lolbit declared. “And just for that:” Lolbit started tickling in Michael’s now vulnerable armpit.

Michael threw his head back and LAUGHED! “BAHAAAHAHAHAhahaha! NAHAT THEHEHERE! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!” Michael yelled.

“Oooooh! Why not? HEHEHEhehehe! Ti-TI-ticklish armpit, much?” Lolbit teased, saying the same thing Michael used on him. “I guess you could sa-say THIS ticklish spot is u-UNDER investigation~” Lolbit said as the fox poked its finger further into Michael’s armpit.

Michael whined. “Thahahat Whahahas TEHEHEHERRIBLE!” Michael complained.

“Wo-Would you say it was punny?” lolbit asked. Or maybe…” Lolbit poked Michael’s shoulder- “Huuuumerus~?”

Michael shook his head and pushed against his snout. “STAHAHAHAP!”

“Wow! I didn’t know my jo-jokes were so…” Lolbit moved their fingers to Michael’s ribs and started digging and skittering. “Riiib-tickling~! AHAHAhahahahaHUUUU!”

Michael threw his head back and cackled loudly with snorts mixed in.

“Oh WOOOW! You really DO SNORT! You-ou must be the life of the PARTY! Or maybe even the life of the PORKY~?” Lolbit teased.

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!” Michael shouted at him.

“HAHAhahaHAHA! Why would I do that when I could ke-keep making animal jokes?” Lolbit asked rhetorically as they moved their metal nails up and down the ribs. “Be-Besides: Fazbear Entertainment should have made me-ME a parrot! Cause I am a HOOT! I KEET you not!” Lolbit teased.

Michael growled and shook his head. “IHIHIHI HAHAHAHATE THEHEHEM!” Michael shouted. “THEHEHEY’RE SOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAD!”

“Hate them?! But look!” Lolbit poked his mouth. “You‘re smil-iling! And you’re laughing at them! And tha-that with your piggy snorts mixed in, is a real tweet~! Ahahaha!” Lolbit joked.

Lolbit narrowed its eyes and brought its snout closer to Michael. “Ohoho...Excuse me- does it look like I ha-HA-have a black beard to you?!” Lolbit reacted all sassy. Michael giggled more at the fox’s reaction. “Ooooh...You’re trying to toy with the robot! I seeee says the blind man!” Lolbit reacted. Lolbit started tickling Michael’s sides this time. “And I feeeel your fingers, says the nerveless Nellie~” Lolbit added.

Michael yelped and groaned through his new fit of laughter. “HEHehehehey! *snort* THAHAhahahat’s nohohohot- *snort* hohohow ihihihit gohohohoes!” Michael protested.

“Ohoho alright. Ihi-I suppose that pun was a bit of a stretch.” Lolbit decided before finally letting Michael go.

Michael went limp and started panting right away. There were still phantom tickles plaguing him, causing him to giggle and squirm through his shallow breathing.

“I suppose I should be band from funny boneville?” Lolbit finished off.

“Ihihi will shohohock you.” Michael warned with an uncontrollable giggle.

“Ohohoho! How enlightening! Perhaps even frightening!” Lolbit teased.

Lolbit finally stopped with the puns the moment Michael squeezed their sides. There were just too many puns all at once. Perhaps they would be all over now…

No fox were given during the making of this Fazfan-fic. Are these puns bad enough for you, anon? XD

[whatevencomesnext]

I was curious, so I looked up “future” and “futurism” on Tumblr just to see what would pop up. An awful lot of neon art and filters, some cool fashion, mostly aesthetic type stuff. I learned what “retrofuturism” is, and there were some older-looking illustrations, which was cool. One that caught my attention was these drawings of robot ladies by Hajime Sorayama. I’m linking to the post instead of reblogging it because uhhhh i dont want my vent blog to appear in the notes of the original posts I saw, lol. 

It looks really neat, like it’s really well drawn, and I looked up the artist’s website and… sigh. I can’t go anywhere on the internet without running into porn. I’m so tired of constantly seeing women objectified everywhere, but especially online, you can't go long without running into it accidentally.

Man… I’m so tired of this. Is this the dream, guys? Is this what the future is supposed to be like? I bet it’s a lot easier to rationalize objectifying women if you’re envisioning exaggeratedly woman-shaped hunks of metal that are designed to be sexy. I bet metal sex dolls won’t get mad at you for treating them like they’re less than human, like all those stupid real women do. 

Sigh. 

On the bright side, Sorayama isn’t the only Japanese futurist artist I found. Mariko Mori is a female artist who also deals with the objectification of women in her work, although she criticizes it instead of going along with it. She’s a performance artist who was apparently shocked when she saw “an educated woman who only served tea at the office” x Her pieces, Tea Ceremony, were a protest against the objectification of women in this way. She dresses both like an android and an office worker, and is ignored by the men around her. I like her work! 

One thing she said that I thought was interesting was the article I saw about her says this:

“Beyond the macho elements of society, Mariko Mori is interested in the identity associated with gender and its current processes of redefinition. She believes she has acquired significant enough experience to ‘understand that a man and a woman are different, so how we contribute to the society may vary, as our roles could be differentiated.’ But differentiation does not mean subordination. Tea Ceremony aspires to illuminate this issue, ‘to create a better world.’”

Differentiation does not mean subordination. Wow, that’s an awesome line. It’s so depressing to look at work like Sorayama’s and see sci-fi where women are objectified. No change from how things are, the porn/sex is just more accessible. I feel like it’s hard to find media that lets women be women, not objects or pseudo-men. What I mean by the latter is that, especially in media nowadays, movie producers will take a female character and give her “male traits” to empower her. The implication being that women are not good or strong unless they can act like men. And yeah, most traits don’t (and shouldn’t) fit into a f/m binary, but it’s stupid to sit there and say that women are just as physically strong as men when our bodies are built differently. Captain Marvel is a perfect example of this being done horribly, in addition to nothing in the story possibly being different if she was a man and not a woman, she is also not allowed to have any character growth or noticeable traits besides being really rude to most of the humans she encounters. Awesome, what a great female role model! As Galetea says more or less directly in these videos, this is sexism disguised as feminism. Instead of designing a weak stereotype, or an object, or a pseudo-man, why not just let a female character be a human woman?

Sigh. I dream of a future where women and girls are treated as equitably as men, where women are allowed to be feminine without it being portrayed as weak or stupid, where women are valued as human beings. Someday.

[galaxies-unknown-a]

[Swindling Ciphers]

[ @the-trxangle-guy​ || Plotted in DMs!]

Twin purple optics onlined, dirty-gold plating running against panels of each other in silent complaint. The mech stretched, careful not to whack the organic that was undoubtedly still recharging beside him- but his servo managed to come out, smacking into something that was very much not the brick-frame he’d grown accustomed to. Both optics snapped open at the dull CLNG as metal hit metal. The sight that greeted his vision was one that was very much unwelcomed- silver-smooth walls, a giant red robot face on one, the slab of material beneath him as rigid as his own frame.

He bit back an audible groan of annoyance at the room. It was threadbare, just interlocking panels connecting to make six sides- four walls, a ceiling, a floor. Aside from the berth, there was only a door. At least, that is what it would look like to the casual observer. He ex-vented.

Swindle hadn’t lived here in years. And last he checked, he’d demolished the building in question with his own servos.- Every memory he had from beyond its destruction still rang, clear as bells. The constant, unending deals, exclusive clients, new worlds, gaining more and more con skills as time whispered by... One thing was clear: this was a dream. And, to top it off, he appeared to be lucid. That brought more than one temptation to mind, but he opted to see what the rest of the dream entailed. Perhaps he would get to relish the destruction of this base for a second time, break down every lie and falsehood he’d had to listen to once more.

Now that-- that brought a smile to the mech’s face.

“Oh, this should be fun!” He laughed as he stepped off the berth, peds hitting the floor before he jaunted towards the door, only now noticing that the lights were dimmed. A snicker escaped him as he placed his servo where the usual panel would be, the door sliding open to reveal a silver-lined corridor... With more of that accursed symbol stretching out into infinity down either way. “I know they say ‘everyone deserves a second chance’, but this is an absolute goldmine...!” Even if it was just a dream, the thought of making off with every weapon inside was more than tantalizing. He had never done so in his original anger. Why not enjoy this, whatever this was?

[ventiques2011]

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[artnerd1123]

Among Us: CR3WM8TS

Updates Required (part 2)

——————————————

With the ship launched and crew settled, it’s time to get to work. Which, for Bunbun, means updating. How smoothly that goes depends on the crewmates in charge… Bunbun’s hoping she’s in good company.

Featuring appearances by Junior, Laser, and Rose!

Among Us archive/askblog Fic chapters post

——————————————

Ok so originally I wanted to keep all this together, but decided it’d be better to chop it into pieces. That way I can keep my momentum, keep posting for y’all, and still intro y’all to the crew as things get moving! 

Yes, I’m aware this chapter is coming out 3 days after the last one. I do not control the will to write but my motivation knows no bounds rn! Enjoy the fruits of my hyperfixation labor lskjfsdf

                                                   ===+===+===

Mission Log 4

Ship Model: SKELD D34-H120 Designation: SUPPLY TRANSPORT, EXPLORATION AND DOCUMENTATION OF SECTOR G PLANETS Crewmate Count: 9 Crewmate Colors: DARK GREEN, WHITE, PURPLE, DARK BLUE, YELLOW, RED, LIME, BLACK, PINK

Location: SECTOR F Ship Status: IN TRANSIT Course: PLANET 326-OCE-894 - SECTOR G Systems:

Navigation: COURSE INLAID / STABLE / UPDATES NEEDED

Engines: UPPER - ONLINE, TANK 0.98 / LOWER - ONLINE, TANK 0.97 / ALIGNMENT UPDATES NEEDED

Reactor: ONLINE / FUNCTIONING OPTIMAL

O2: STABLE

Electrical: CALIBRATOR OFFLINE

Communications: ONLINE / UPDATES NEEDED

Shields: ONLINE / FUNCTIONING OPTIMAL

Weapons: TEMPORARILY OFFLINE  / FUNCTIONING N/A

Security: CAMERAS ONLINE / ALL FUNCTIONAL

Administration: MAP OFFLINE - UPDATES NEEDED / CONNECTION SECURE / SHIP FILES UP TO DATE / ALL CREW ACCOUNTED FOR

Medbay: EQUIPMENT OFFLINE - UPDATES NEEDED / FUNCTIONAL / CREW FILES UP TO DATE

Supplies: FULL

Storage Chutes: CLEAR

Vents: CLEAR

Notes: Many systems functioning on reserve power temporarily, as updates are needed. PINK identified systems in need of updates. PINK has commenced updates under DARK BLUE supervision. Updates still in progress. RED has been admitted to medbay for minor injuries. Other crew performing normal activities.

                                                  ===+===+===

The soft thump of boots on metal accompanied two crewmates as they meandered down the hall. Bunbun trailed after River, taking a look at her task list. The tasks from Reactor and Security glowed green. Five other tasks still remained white. More updates in one day than she’d prefer, sure. But she’d had a nice send off by the reactor monitor. Lemon’s kind words were only a minute behind her. And, if Lemon was right, she and River were off to meet his son. Hopefully he was just as friendly. 

River reached upper engine first. If his disgruntled huff was anything to go by, it meant there was company. He got himself settled near the doorway as Bunbun caught up to him. She stepped into the room nervously. Amid the hissing and noise of clunky machinery, she could just hear someone shouting. It took her a minute to locate the source- half hidden by the steam, a crewmate in a lime suit was waving near the system monitoring panel. Bunbun waved back hastily, moving closer to make out their words. “-ey! Hey! Over here!” the crewmate called, waving steam out of their face. “Got it! I’m here!” Bunbun shouted back. Squinting, she did her best to swipe away some of the steam, stopping next to the stranger. From the shock of red hair she saw through bits of fog, she had a feeling he was Lemon’s son. Though she did wish she could see him better. And hear him better. It was so loud and so misty in here. “One sec! Let me just- set this thing on low for a minute-!” He coughed, tapping at the monitoring panel. “All good! You do what you need!” Bunbun replied.  Soon enough, the clanking and roaring of metal died down to a low rumble. The mist cleared out as the noise quieted. Once it faded, Bunbun got her first good look at the crewmate. He had a bright green suit- lime, as HQ called it- and a brown paperboy’s cap. His large square glasses were still unfogging with the room. He had a smattering of freckles across his peachy skin, especially over his nose. The square of gauze taped to his cheek had a couple dark fingerprints against it. Oil, if Bun had a guess. As she’d noted before, his hair was just the same shade as his father’s- though it was longer and more tousled. He took off his glasses to polish them, giving a glimpse of dark blue eyes, and a brief glance at heavily pierced ears. He was definitely on the younger side for a crewmate. If she had a guess, he was out doing field work for space academy. He flashed a nervous smile at Bunbun, fidgeting as he pushed his glasses back on. 

Ah, she knew that look. Seems she’d found her fellow timid crewmate.

“Er- hi, sorry about that,” he chuckled sheepishly. “Things get pretty hectic in here, a-and i’m not used to other people doing engine maintenance…” “It’s ok,” Bunbun said, “I know how that gets, believe me.” “Eheheh, right… I’m, uh Lemon Junior by the way. But you can just call me Junior.” Holding out a hand, Junior tried for a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, uh…?” “Bunbun,” Bun replied, taking his hand for a gentle shake. “I take it you heard about the updates I need to do?” “Yeah, uh, I did,” Junior nodded. “Lemon sent me up here to help out after we finished refueling.” Gesturing to the panel, he looked to her uncertainly. “If, um, I’m allowed to ask… what kinda updates are you… y’know… gonna do…?” Bunbun was sensing a theme with the engine monitors on the ship. “Just a couple things to make alignment reports more accurate,” she explained. “The engines are a little old, so giving them an update just lets the records be more accurate. Helps HQ make sure they won’t need any big fixes.” Junior nodded along as she spoke. Relief shone on his face. That made Bunbun relieved too. Any soothing she could offer in the ways of tech was nice. “Yeah, ok. That’s ok. You can, um, do what you need to,” he sighed, stepping back. “Just let me know when you’re done updating here.” “Of course!”

With that, Bunbun settled in, once again, to take care of the software. She could feel Junior watching her as she worked. It wasn’t… horrible. It didn’t feel like how river watched her. More like those curious interns she encountered sometimes. A glance over her shoulders said Junior was keeping more of an eye on the screen. He looked away quickly when he saw her watching, looking like a kid caught with the cookie jar. He must have an eye for software, she thought fondly. Kid after her own heart. She moved to the side nonchalantly to give him a better view as she worked. She could see him smile out of the corner of her eye. One of her own tugged at the corners of her mouth. Maybe they could talk code later. That would be nice. Across the room, River was grumbling to himself. When he wasn’t staring holes in the wall or his fellow crewmates, Bunbun could hear him shuffling around impatiently. Engine aligning just took a little longer. The patch would have to be replicated exactly, after all. Can’t be too careful. River’s grumbly restlessness was more of a nod to his lack of patience. From Junior’s nervous fidgeting, he’d taken notice. “... um… you can wait outside… if you want…” Junior called hesitantly, looking to River. “Can’t,” River said bluntly. “Oh- why?” Junior perked up. “Did you need something?” River shook his head with a grunt. “Gotta watch the newbie.” “Er… oh.” The lime-suited crewmate seemed to deflate a little. “Ok. Just. Thought I’d offer,” Junior mumbled. “Whatever,” River snorted. Bunbun just bent her head lower over her tablet. The green upload bar ticked forward at a snail’s pace. Though the process only took a minute or two, it was still the worst part of working with tech. Not to mention the sooner she left, the sooner she could get River out of Junior’s hair. He was fidgeting with his hands enough that she knew he was self soothing. C’mon, c’mon… almost there… she begged internally. 

When the green finally filled the bar, she let out a long sigh. “Ooookay, upper engine’s all done,” she reported. “Thank the lord,” River drawled, exasperated. “All of it?” Junior blinked. His face lit up with awe. “Sheesh, that was fast!!!” “Well, yeah,” Bunbun chuckled, hiding a smile, “I wouldn’t be so highly recommended if I was slow.” “Fair ‘nuff, fair ‘nuff.” Humming contentedly, Bunbun turned back to the system monitoring panel. Oh yeah, she’d definitely talk code with him later. For now, she leaned forward to study what she’d just done. Now came the tricky part. Reuploading the exact same fixes on the other engine. How to go about this…? “Hey, Junior?” She asked, waving her crewmate over. “I have a quick question before I head out.” Junior tilted his head to the side, hat nearly slipping off his head. “Head out?” he echoed. “Well, yeah, I’ve gotta do the same thing down at lower engine. I just wanted to know if-” “Oh! Oh, nonono, lemme save you the trip-” Junior broke in. Rushing to her side, he reached for the manual alignment slider. “Y’see, I figured out this little loophole awhile ago- just a sec-” Bunbun watched with increasing confusion and concern as he expertly centered the slider, eyed the screen, and gave the slider a rather rough slam with his fist. The monitor sputtered a minute, and so did she. What was he doing? Where had her work gone??? “Wh- what did you-?” she managed to squeak, falling silent as her tablet made the distinctive thrum of a task finish notification. The screen stabilized a moment later. Junior pulled back, looking quite pleased with himself. “Aaaaaand- there!” he chirped, smiling. “I just sent your code down to Lower Engine. No need to walk down yourself.” “... how in the world did you… find that?” Bunbun wondered, baffled. “I-it’s an old system,” Junior replied meekly. “It was a bug my dad found out on accident awhile ago. We just found a way to make it useful.” “... huh.” Bunbun nodded thoughtfully. Useful bugs. An old idea, sure, but it worked just fine here. “Fair enough. Thank you!” “‘S no problem, glad I could help,” Junior beamed. “You ready to go now?” River called. “My legs are gonna give out if I stand here much longer.” Bunbun and Junior shared a look. They may have properly met a few minutes ago, but… well. They’d both seen enough of River. “Coming, coming,” Bunbun sighed. Waving at Junior, she plodded after her dark blue crewmate. “Hope the engines behave for you and lemon!” “Thanks, miss! Hope the systems behave for you too!!!” 

Behind her, the engine slowly started roaring back to life. Its noisy growling echoed off the walls as she followed River once again. It might’ve just been her optimism, but she thought the sound was smoother now. Meanwhile, River seemed to have chosen a path for her this time. They were headed straight to Medbay. The noise didn’t necessarily decrease as they approached. It just changed from machinery to voices. Bunbun could only make out the conversation once she got close. River had parked himself outside of the door, looking inside a bit warily. Bunbun hung back uncertainly. What was he waiting on? “Will you please sit still?” a voice begged, clearly exasperated.  “I’ve been sitting still for five minutes now!” another whined, equally as annoyed.  Curious, Bunbun edged around River to peek in the room. The medbay looked as it usually did- four beds and equipment in the back. The scanner and computer monitor looked a little old, sure, but they’d been polished so well they looked new. Movement from the back right bed caught her eye- it was the source of the voices. 

Sitting on the end of the bed was a crewmate in a red suit. Her pack was leaned against the footboard, a pair of red and black headphones sitting atop it. Both objects nearly got kicked over as the crewmate squirmed. Her straight dark hair was cut a little above shoulder length, a long swoosh of it nearly covering her right eye. Her brows were furrowed over her earth-toned gaze, expression quite put out. Her skin was a tannish beige, with plenty of bandages littering her face. Evidently, she was not a stranger to Medbay. A black choker was visible as she shifted again, grumpily trying to free her hand from another’s grasp. It’d been stripped of its glove, revealing some painful, blue tinted blisters. The one hanging onto the crewmate’s hand was wearing a white suit. Her long coppery hair was partly tied up in two buns, the rest of it spilling fluffily past her shoulders. Her bangs hung so low they almost covered her olive green eyes. Of course, the heart shaped glasses she wore did a better job of that. Bunbun admired how they matched her earrings, though- pink hearts adorned the crewmate’s ears. A flower pin was rooted near the right side of her head. She looked somewhat annoyed by her patient, but not angry. She was doing her best to maneuver her gently, giving her all the care of an electrician fixing sparky wiring. 

“Five minutes isn’t enough for me to examine your hand,” the one in white pointed out. “Rose, babe, come on,” the one in red groaned, “it’s nothing serious, just a little plasma burn!” “You may think so, but you’re not the medic, are you?” White retorted. “But- I- you-” Red sputtered. White raised a brow. After a minute or two of stumbling over excuses, Red’s shoulders slumped. “Ghhh. Fine,” she grumbled, “have it your way.” “That’s what I thought,” White said smugly. “Now, about that hand of yours…” 

A knock from the doorway drew everyone’s gaze instantly. River hadn’t moved from his spot, though his hand was now raised. He rapped his knuckle on the doorway a few more times. “Hey. Rose. Laser,” he nodded to white and red respectively. “Mind if we come in?” “Oh! River! And- you’re Bunbun, right?” Rose asked hesitantly. Bunbun nodded, giving a tiny wave. “Er, yeah. That’s me.” “Well, I wasn’t expecting either of you today!” Rose said, head tilted. “Come right in. I’ll be finished here in a little bit.” “Just don’t take the bed next to me,” Laser huffed at River. Rose gave her a look, and her patient stuck out her tongue. 

River walked almost cautiously into the room, going over to stand by the left side beds. He stood straight and proper there, hands by his sides. Bunbun trailed after him. She got herself comfortable leaning on an empty bed close to the group. Rose busied herself wrapping Laser’s hand in some gauze. The two whispered to each other- something about dinner plans- as she worked. Once all was said and done, the medic straightened back up. “Now! What can I do for you two?” Rose asked them warmly. “Nothing for me today,” River replied, nodding in Bunbun’s direction. “I’m supervising Bunbun. She can give you more details.” Bunbun blinked a bit at the sudden and calm introduction. That was the most polite response she’d heard River give all day. It honestly caught her a bit off guard. Scrambling to compose herself, she held her tablet close to her chest. “Um- yeah, I’m just g-going around the ship to update some systems,” she explained timidly. “Your ship is a little out of date, but i’ve got plenty of patches and software updates to help out.” “Ah! I was wondering when HQ was going to send someone here,” Rose sighed softly. “About time, if you ask me,” Laser snorted. “We’ve been needing someone to help this bucket of bolts for lightyears.” Rose gave laser a little pat in agreement. Even River seemed to nod, albeit he rolled his eyes a little. “Yeah, so, I’ve just got a couple updates to do in medbay. I’ll try to be quick, but… y’know. No guarantees,” Bunbun continued. “That’s ok! And entirely understandable.” One finger tapped her chin thoughtfully, her gaze bouncing around the room. “What needs to be updated in my little corner?” “Ooone sec-” Bunbun mumbled, opening her task list. There were two tasks listed in medbay. “It looks like just your scanner and computer monitors? If that’s alright?” “I don’t see why not,” Rose hummed. “Go right ahead, miss. Let me know if you need anything.” “Will do, thank you,” Bunbun replied. She’d hardly taken a step towards the monitors, though, when Laser broke in. “Whoa whoa whoa- hooold on a sec there-” Laser burst, holding up her hands. The action made her wince, but she made no other signs of pain. “You’re here for updates, right?” “U-uh-” Bunbun stammered, confused and alarmed, “y-yes-?” “Are there any updates assigned to Weapons or Shields?” Laser pressed. “Let me… check…?” Bunbun said warily. Looking down at her task list, she gave it a quick scan. Surprisingly, they were both absent from her tasks. Huh. Well, that’s odd, she thought. Out loud, she answered Laser’s query. “No, there’s n-nothing for Weapons or Shields.” “Yes!” Laser whooped, pumping her bandaged fist. An action she immediately regretted. Hissing in pain, she still managed a wide grin. “I told you guys updating your stations often was a good idea!!!” “You did say that, didn’t you, firecracker?” Rose chuckled softly, a gentle smile on her face. “Mmmmhm…” River hummed, lips pressed tightly together. “W-well, it does keeps the systems running up to HQ code, not to mention upping their efficiency,” Bunbun explained timidly. Laser gestured to her enthusiastically. “You! I like you!” Laser grinned, “cuz you get it!!!” “Don’t mean to interrupt, ladies,” River spoke up- almost gently, giving Bunbun another momentary bluescreen- “but Bunbun does have a job to do.” Luckily, Laser and Rose’s voices snapped her out of it. “Oh. Right. She does, doesn’t she?” Laser echoed. “Sorry bout that, Bunbun.” “Indeed she does,” Rose agreed. Smiling apologetically, she nodded towards the scanner and monitor. “They’re all yours for as long as you need, Bun.” Giving the two a grateful nod, Bunbun strode towards the scanner. “It’s no problem,” she replied, pulling up her code. “I’ll be done in just a tick…”

                                                 ===+===+===

The updates in medbay took much longer than expected. Around thirty minutes in total. There was a lot to get to. Not only did Bunbun find herself tripping over incorrectly stored files from previous medics, but the outdated medical system kept trying to override her new input. The whole thing was confusing, frustrating, and very difficult to work with. 

Fortunately, she found herself in good company. 

Rose’s level head and gentle tone helped keep her distress down, and she knew all the work arounds for the computer. Laser offered plenty of encouragement. River, to his credit, actually stayed quiet. He added input only once- when a security bypass code popped up. Other than that… nothing. He just sort of. Stood there. It was odd. But Rose and Laser were enough to distract Bunbun from it, and enough to keep her on task.

When she finally pulled back from the equipment, the other ladies gave a little cheer. “Good job, hon! It’s running like a model made yesterday,” Rose beamed. “You wrangled the hell out of that code!” Laser grinned. “That’s a perfect job in my book.” “Thank you, thank you,” Bunbun laughed, waving a hand. “You’re too kind- both of you!” “We do our best,” Laser winked. “Anytime!” Rose hummed. “... yeah. Glad you got that figured out,” River finally spoke up. Bunbun gave him a quiet nod of thanks. Was he just… warming up…? She really hoped so. Shifting in place, River jerked his head towards the door. “You ready to head out, Bunbun? Just a couple more stops.” Bunbun paused. Holding up a finger, she flipped up her tablet. Both the tasks she’d had for Medbay now glowed green. Perfect. She nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m good,” she replied. “M’kay. Let’s get a move on,” River sighed. “See the rest of y’all around.” He turned to go, pace a little slower as he left the room. Bunbun waved over her shoulder to Laser and Rose. The two smiled and waved back, free hands gently entwined as they gave their well wishes. The sight left Bunbun smiling all the way down the hall. 

The more of her crewmates she met, the more at home she was starting to feel. It was… nice. Really nice. A good assignment so far. She hoped it’d stay that way.

[wits-writing]

Ultraman Z Ep. 23: “Prelude to a Nightmare” (TV Review)

(Original Air Date: December 5, 2020, Director: Koichi Sakamoto, Writer: Kota Fukihara)

“Prelude to a Nightmare” is a title making a promise the latest episode of Ultraman Z manages to keep and then some.

The final three episodes of the season begin as the GAF debuts SAAG and their new signature weapon, Ultroid Zero, to the public. A perfect opportunity to demonstrate the weapon’s strength appearing in the form of five simultaneous giant monsters arising across the country at once to be dealt with by the machine and Ultraman Z.

[Full Review Under the Cut]

With everyone but Hebikura and Bako still working for the GAF in some capacity, this episode gives a further sense of what I discussed last time with regards to the dynamic Team STORAGE had. They’re all well suited to their positions; Haruki in security, Yuka in Monster Research, and Yoko piloting Ultroid Zero, but the spark they had as a unit is gone. Haruki and Yoko reflect on this as they share lunch together, each describing their current situation as boring even as they acknowledge the importance of them. Haruki’s spent his time pondering the words Hebikura left him with about “proving them wrong”, whether he can do that in his current position.  Not difficult to sympathize when it’s clear they’ve all been reduced to pure function within the GAF sans the sense of community at their jobs they had before.

There’s another level of discomfort all of them have with STORAGE being replaced by SAAG and its militarized approach to dealing with monsters. A foreboding sense permeates the cold open of the episode as it details the GAF’s press conference covering Ultroid Zero’s public reveal. The new robot’s positioned as humanity’s true hope and chance to surpass the Ultras that have visited Earth throughout the series, with Geed, Zero, and Ace cameoing as pictures during the press conference. Concerns about Ultroid Zero being equipped with the D4 Ray after the incident two episodes ago getting brushed aside by the assurance that this artificial Ultra can use it safely. Though safety is less of a priority for the members of the GAF pushing Ultroid than using it as a symbol of might. Insistence that Earth must be protected by humanity’s own strength at any cost gets brought up, an idea present in the series since episode 3 when the GAF Board witnessed STORAGE in action.

Though Yuka, watching the conference on livestream, comments that their real concern is only humanity’s well-being rather than Earth as a whole, especially with a weapon like D4 being shown to cause massive collateral to the environment. Her concerns prove correct as the activation of Ultroid Zero awakens five monsters at once that arrive to fight the threat to their existence. Like the D4 test before it, Ultroid Zero invites the escalation the GAF claims to be preparing the world against.

For as much as Ultroid Zero represents every wrong move the GAF (and by proxy humanity) are making in a chase for escalating strength, I do love how it looks. The shifting armor and steam vents remind me of Ultraman Geed’s Solid Burning form, one of my favorite Ultra suit designs ever. The rigidness of that armor in turn reflecting Ultroid’s artificial nature. It’s clearly a capable machine when we see it in action, especially with a pilot as capable as Yoko at the helm. Ultroid’s arsenal directly mimicking that of the Ultras, from forcefields to beams to sluggers.

D4 is the main thing unique to Ultroid Zero and allows the machine to do what the STORAGE robots rarely could, defeat the monsters of the week, even three against one. While there is clearly still some backfire as the D4 drains Ultroid Zero of all energy and collapses to the ground with an unconscious Yoko trapped inside, the GAF still celebrates creating a weapon to surpass Metal Gear, err… Ultraman. Especially pleased are Mai Yuki and the Celebro-possessed Director Kuriyama, muttering the alien parasite’s signature phrase “Karekareta” as whatever his plans appear to be going smoothly.

While the episode focuses more on Yoko and the suspect machinations of the GAF/Celebro, Haruki and Zett still get some solid contributions to the episode’s action to call their own as things ramp up. The feral monster threat awakened by Ultroid Zero’s presence starts off more spread out, so they go off to confront the two attacking the city docks. However, the monsters going full berserker under these circumstances leads to Zett being overwhelmed (same for Yoko in Ultroid Zero during her fight.) They manage to make it to the mountain-range where Yoko’s fighting the other monsters, further outnumbering the new robot. Ultraman Z eventually flying over to her location and stylishly dual wielding blades against the two monsters he was fighting. The fight draws to a standstill when whatever spell had come over the monsters wears off and they go back where they came, a relatively peaceful contrast to how Yoko’s fight ended on being forced to use the D4 Ray to disintegrate the other three monsters.

With all the monsters eliminated and Ultroid Zero inactive in the aftermath of using the D4, a figure who’s been lurking in the shadows with his own agenda finally makes himself known to Haruki and Zett. Jugglus Juggler revealing himself as Hebikura to our main hero, calling back all the way to episode two when he told Haruki to not just rely on his eyes.

One thing holds this back from being a perfect episode in my mind, Yoko explaining her backstory. The fact we’re only getting it three episodes from the end is frustrating enough, but what it does to her as a character is head tilting at best. She gives Haruki an explanation for why she demands to arm wrestle all the guy’s she knows, which is that her father, a former GAF officer himself, told her to “never marry a man weaker than you.” Which does potentially mean that Yoko’s resolution in the overarching story of the season will be in regard to whether she ends up in a relationship. It’s also pretty weak in comparison to the backstories we’ve been provided for Haruki and Yuka.

Between the massive cliffhanger and the conflict with the monsters trying to destroy Ultroid Zero before it can threaten them, we’ve taken more enthralling steps along this final leg of Ultraman Z’s storyline. With two episodes left, we’ll see what the crew behind the show has in store for Haruki now that his world’s been turned upside down by one of the people he trusted most.

If you like what you’ve read here, please like/reblog or share elsewhere online, follow me on Twitter (@WC_WIT), and consider throwing some support my way at either Ko-Fi.com or Patreon.com at the extension “/witswriting”

[libermachinae]

Drops in a Bucket, Splashes on the Ground

Also available on AO3! Tags: Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Gen, Whirl (Transformers), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Whirl is Primus AU, Angst, would you believe me if i said i didnt set out to write another angst fic, whirl's just like that Wordcount: 4202 Notes: I would highly recommend you read "Bullets" or at least be familiar with Whirl's abuse of Rotorstorm before reading this fic. The scene containing graphic violence begins with "Tacticians always struggle..." and the scene referencing abuse begins "He shoves his way..." Please feel free to reach out if you need any further information.

~*~

“And I guess old Primus makes five.”

“Hah! No, no, no. That’s not Primus… you’re Primus.”

~*~

 Whirl has never been intimidated before. Not so intentionally, not by bots whose forged bodies have been piled on with armor and weaponry, no expenses spared by the ganglords. The Heavies rolled up on treads that left gouges in the streets, painful marks that tomorrow’s taxes will go to fixing, and their transformations took a full five seconds as excess plating moved out of the way while their protoforms tried to bend per their original configurations. They wear identical red visors and dark gray masks: faces, certainly, but only in the barest sense of the word, enough to separate them from lowlifes without affording them identity. It is impossible to tell one from the other and Whirl knows, intrinsically, that it will not matter.

 ~*~

 Rung is the only one who doesn’t flinch. Whirl stands over Adaptus’ body, freshly relieved of what they can all agree was a spectacularly ugly head, and puts away his gun.

“Right,” he says, with a meaningful glance out the window. “Want to agree none of us heard that?”

“Whirl!” Rodimus shouts. “You can’t just kill a god!”

The body explodes into a pile of dust.

“Sure I can,” Whirl says, shaking it off his foot even as he leans down to inspect the scrapple. “Hey Ratch, can you rig me to explode next time I get shot?”

“Is it true?” Nautica asks, doing her intellect a massive disservice by stepping in front of the unhinged bot with a blaster.

“Obviously not,” Ratchet says. “He was lying.”

Whirl nods.

“Yeah. You think I would keep it a secret from any of you if I was a god? You think Cyclonus would ever hear the end of it? Nah.” He stands, kicking pile and sending a spray of metallic dust into the air. “Awesome way to go, though, can’t say I’m not jealous.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to kill him for it.”

“So, you’re not Primus?” Nautica asks. She hasn’t moved, her arms crossed in front of her. If Whirl had been her creator (and he isn’t, he already has his claws full with a nest of scraplets), he would have been pretty proud of her right now.

“Nope!” he says. “I’ve never vouched for the universe before, but that kind of joke would take on an extra level of cruel, don’t you think?”

“Got to agree with Whirl, here,” Rodimus says, a hand on Nautica’s shoulder drawing her back. “I could buy pretty much anyone else. Maybe not Rung, but, say, Velocity? She could be Primus. Or Roller. I guess not Megatron, since we saw him come online, but—”

“The point, Rodimus,” Ratchet deadpans.

“The point is, not Whirl,” Rodimus said, sweeping his hands up to gesture at him. “I get Primus is disappointed in us. We are a textbook example of why a race of sentient war machines should never be left to their own devices, combined with a case study on how to avoid learning from every mistake you’ve ever made. But I really don’t think that disappointment would translate to actively hunting us for sport. Isn’t Primus supposed to be all about forgiveness and loving your cellmate?”

“Right,” Whirl says, clacking his pincers together in his approximation of a snap. “An angry god is so cliché.”

“I don’t think anyone knows what Primus believed,” Rung says. Oh no. He’s taken off his glasses. “I don’t see any reason he couldn’t be Whirl.”

“How about we start where the part where gods don’t exist, and Whirl does?” Ratchet suggests.

“I… I am Solomus, though.”

The whole group turns to the offending voice. Whirl goes for his gun and Rodimus knocks it out of his hand, a stern finger silently telling him not to kill any more gods. As if being an ex-Matrix bearer gives him some sort of say.

Tyrest has not stopped touching his gaudy mantelpiece, poking at the holes. It wouldn’t be so disturbing, except he’s staring at Whirl while he does it.

“Primus, don’t you remember?” he asks.

“Hey, let’s watch the fragging language.”

“Adaptus wanted to send our creations to pointless war,” Tyrest goes on. “Violence for the sake of violence, conquests built on the backs of others. We fought him.” He steps forward and reaches for Whirl. “Together, we—”

Whirl jerks back with his claws extended out.

“I will cut your hand off, I swear to—I swear.”

He is saved from any more interrogation by the ground violently rumbling underneath them.

“Okay, so regardless of whatever’s Whirl’s deal is, we do still have at least one Primus to worry about,” Rodimus says, looking out the window at the approximation of what Whirl, personally, had always assumed god would look like. “Solomus, you still got your teleporting rigged up?”

 ~*~

 No one ever considered giving The Institute a waiting room, so Whirl stands to one side of the hallway while the butchers discuss his case. He knows his proposal intrigues them: they have never had an opportunity to shadowplay a willing subject before. What is there to learn from a brain that does not fight them every step of the way? What backdoors exist that every other victim kept hidden? Whirl does not care about the potential scientific advancements his offer provides. He just wants to stop dreaming of gears, lose the phantom aches of his fingers. He wants to look in a mirror and see nothing: not himself, not a monster. Just an object, fulfilling its purpose.

The scientists who walk by him in the halls stare. Everyone stares, but the look they give him is different. They do not find him exceptional, nor do they feel for him pity or contempt. He is no marvel. He is a creation, perfectly engineered to suit its purpose, every detail minded with care to ensure it all works together as an ideal mechanism. He wishes he could see himself through their eyes.

The door beside him slides open and a bot he has never seen before steps out. His helm comes up no higher than Whirl’s waist and his large yellow optics do not look up from his datapad.

“Whirl of Polyhex, the panel has elected to reject your petition,” he says. “I am to remind—”

“What?” Whirl startles; his new head shoots upward, forcing him into an angle that is both unnatural and instinctual. “Why? Ice Pick said he could—”

“I am to remind you that you have signed a nondisclosure agreement; failure to comply will result in penalty of death.” The little bot flares his plating, the click of a motor lock setting it in place. “You will now submit to full stasis and be escorted back to your home.”

The jack comes from behind.

 ~*~

 “This is my hab suite.”

Whirl knows the tonal difference between a bullet hitting living metal and a wall. He scowls and gives up, waving Cyclonus inside.

“My room’s a mess,” he says. “Think I’m gonna crash here for a while.”

Cyclonus comes in and sits beside Whirl on the berth. When the door slides shut, they are visible only by their biolights: Whirl closed the shutters when he came in, the stars too much like blinking numbers. Cyclonus is a surprisingly quiet machine. His presence comes with none of the usual hisses and clicks one would normally get with their kind, like each component was designed specifically to work with those around it. Compared to Whirl, whose body is a wreck of pieces that almost fit together, clinking and scraping through their standard functions, he practically doesn’t exist.

“This is slagged, huh?” Whirl asks.

Cyclonus thinks on it a moment, then there is a shift of plating as he nods. Is it an admission, a confession? Pri—frag, Whirl doesn’t want to have to start thinking about that.

“Sorry,” he says.

“You don’t need to—”

“Scrap, you’re right. What am I doing?” Whirl laughs. “I’m infallible now, right? It’s all been part of my grand plan for Cybertron. I should be saying you’re welcome; you should be thanking me.”

Cyclonus sighs, a rush of air out his vents.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks.

Whirl pokes and pinches at his own plating, trying to make sense of it.

“Yeah,” he says. “Start praying, and keep Megatron far away from me.”

 ~*~

 He’s spent two days in the holding cell before he realizes no one else is coming for him.

That Orion Pax… he’s good, and Whirl’s not sure whether it’s the kind that gets people hired or gets people killed. Not that it matters, not that he cares. The Senate’s going to crush all of them one by one, like little cans of oil under a rolling tank. He thought being a tread would come with some measure of relief; instead, it just landed him in a hole.

He digs a claw tip into the wall, another score among a small collection. He has been trying to reconstruct the miner’s face, what it looked like in the split second between recognizing he had been struck and realizing there was more to come. He can’t relish a memory if he can’t keep it, and he’s already struggling well enough to accomplish the former. This assignment was supposed to be a release. Look down at the big thinker and imagine in his place Senator Proteus, Sentinel Prime, the faceless Functionist Council. Tell himself that this is what it would feel like to rip their plating open until their priceless energon spilled onto a dirty floor.

The face, though, it’s escaping him. How can he fell anything about a person with no face? What relief is there to be found in beating the slag out of a nobody? He is trying so hard to adapt, but it’s like his processor is working against him, reminding him how far he got before he was reeled back in. The silhouette of his sketch is familiar.

His claws hurt where he has worn the tip blunt, and the portrait is still incomplete.

 ~*~

 “I don’t make Matrixes,” he insists. The group was polite enough to knock once they found him, but they’re failing to pick up the hint that he wants all of them to go away, right now, and leave him alone forever.

“Well, Epistemus says you can,” Rodimus says, dentae blocked together. “Why do all the other gods have their memories back, but not you?”

“I dunno, maybe Needles can stick me and figure it out.”

It’s almost cute, the way Rewind steps protectively in front of Chromedome.

“Rodimus,” Rung says, trying to get between them, “this isn’t helping.”

“Thank you,” Whirl says. “Now can we get to the part where we storm the planet, guns a-blazin’?”

“That won’t help either.” Rung turns to look at him. “Your memories haven’t been deleted, Whirl. Somehow, there should still be some part of you that remembers creating the Matrix.”

“The Functionists probably took it out,” Whirl says.

“That’s not how mnemosurgery works.”

“Says the dropout.”

“You told me once about your earliest memory,” Rung says. Whirl should be furious that he’s doing this here, in front of people who have no business knowing what’s in his head, but he’s more interested in the way Rung has taken off his glasses and is squinting up at him. “What happened just before it?”

They did not bring Ratchet, a testament to the fact that they will not leave before he gives them answers. He could start lying again, or find another way to forgo the question, but something about Cyclonus’ presence at his back helps him settle down the compulsion. Everybody lies about their forging. Everybody wants to say it was overseen by the Prime, or that they settled into their form like resin poured into a mold, instant and perfect. Whirl has a set of seven stories he deploys on rotation, ranging from heroic to beautifully tragic, and he spends a moment picking through them, trying to remember which was the real one.

“I showed up at the Functionsts’ place to get my docs in order,” he says. “I was… I was trying to get Polyhexian citizenship.” Awful city, but he had always sworn the energon tasted better there than anywhere else.

“But you said you were forged in Polyhex,” Rung says.

“Yeah. It was easier that way.” Whirl puts a claw to his head. “I… augh, nope. No, this is stupid.”

“Whirl—”

“No, I’m done,” he says, pushing Rung away. “Fully done, Rung. That’s right. You were god’s therapist, and he fired you. I’m gonna go take out a planet.”

 ~*~

 Tacticians always struggle with where to put Whirl on a battlefield. On the one hand, he’s an attack helicopter, equipped with long-range cannons and advanced aiming modules. Keeping him in the sky is the perfect way to set up a terrible surprise for Cons on the ground. On the other, he’s Whirl, and facing him head-on can be just as chilling and or fatal.

In the end it rarely matters which call they make because, as stated before, he’s Whirl. He will do whatever he damn well feels like. Right now, that means skimming over the top of the battlefield, sights trained on the odd dot who tries to disgorge themselves from the fighting mass. He is supposed to be providing support to the ground troops, peppering the Decepticon line so they can break through, but no one is going to complain about a few more dead soldiers.

A truck breaks free and he pitches down, giving chase, machine guns firing before he’s got a lock on. The ground explodes in shrapnel as they try to serpentine out of the way, but he keeps firing and soon enough their paths cross.

He riddles them. Their roof is already a puckered, punctured mass of warped metal before their back tires blow and they go skidding and flip onto their side. Their plating shuffles, uncoordinated, as they try to transform, and Whirl goes for the underbelly, shattering the exposed protoform in a burst of pink energon. They slump with their legs disengaged. There is a buzzing, crunching noise as the dying t-cog tries to settle into either mode, then a jet of smoke erupts from the body. The engine has seized, locking it in a permanent limbo.

Whirl spins around to track down his next prey. He loves his job. The Autobots have a need, and he fills it with a gusto that only occasionally gets him in trouble. He’s no hitmech: he lacks the finesse, the style. But he can rain irreverent murder down from the sky, send Cons fleeing just long enough to make them think they had a chance, and he can do it without questioning an order. The war needs people like him.

Two soldiers are trying to escape together, one with their arm over the other’s shoulder, a sparkling stump of a leg between them. Whirl gets low, following them until the roar of his rotors is unmistakable, until they cannot help but turn and he sees their optics. Then he fires.

The wounded one falls first, knocked onto their front and grasping uselessly until their hand is blown off and they go still. The other gets their legs knocked off and goes spinning, landing on their head with a crunch. Whirl keeps advancing, keeps firing, tearing open their plating and reducing their inner working to molten slag, spattering the ground with used energon. They flop, over and over, until Whirl gets bored of the show and hauls off, leaving them almost indistinguishable from the carnage of the land itself.

Whirl hovers over the fighting and looks down while he scans for a target. This high up, visuals are useless for determining Bots from Cons. Little Cybertronians run around, whacking and shooting at each other, falling down, down, down. The metal under their pedes is slippery pink with energon. It splashes against their plating, over their insignias, until they are all just little wandering targets.

Whirl has his job, and he loves it, and he does it well.

 ~*~

 He should feel something, but his spark is a void as he tosses the rest of the guns into the shuttle, all the stuff he held off using because he wasn’t ready to get kicked off the ship. He is not coming back from this. He knows it, so better to take it all.

He’s just fastened the locker when he hears the footsteps on the hatch and looks up. It’s Tailgate, of course. Tailgate, who has a pack hanging from one shoulder and a gun holstered at his side. It’s a shrimpy thing, something Cyclonus taught him to shoot in case they ever got separated, more useful for making noise than taking down an aggressor. It has room for one round of ammo and Whirl doubts he brought a bullet more.

He comes aboard without saying anything and stops beside world, continuing to say nothing. The hand on his pack is clenching: he’s being brave. He’s also waiting for some grand speech, some sacred insight to the nature of their quest and their places in the universe. Well, tough. He should know Whirl better than Primus.

He lifts a claw to shove Tailgate backward and down the hatch, but it stops an inch before Tailgate’s plating. What does it matter? Cyclonus can’t kill him where he’s going and Tailgate himself is just a drop in the bucket. Standing there with his chest puffed out, optic band steely and focused, he looks like any other Cybertronian, never mind a few years left behind.

Whirl retracts his claw. Tailgate nods at him.

Another drop in the bucket.

 ~*~

 He shoves his way to the front row, slamming himself into his chosen seat just ahead of a little spy plane who had been angling for the same spot.

“Buzz off,” he says. Never mind the spy plane outranks him. This is his big day! He got here early so he could get this seat, right in front, though he can barely hold it as the audience fills in around him, so many Bots he does not know and who do not matter. The only one he cares about it up on the stage, smiling with an air of detached cooperation, off in his own head again like he always was. Whirl thought they had made progress on that, but some habits were just too hard to break.

The opening speech is long and predictably boring, lots of talk about this base he has never been on before. Whirl’s engine clicks in agitation. When bots give him dirty looks, he sneers.

“Chronic fanbelt lockup, ever heard of it?” he hisses at them, adding in a few extra ticks for good measure. They go back to minding their own business, but Whirl still catches the optics glancing at him, and his engine goes from annoyed click to angry hum. He knows what they see.

Luckily, the speaker eventually gets over himself and moves on.

“Rotorstorm, will you please step forward?”

Whirl is on his feet before the other copter has a chance to rise, his cheering rising well above the swell of the crowd. He shouts, he stomps his feet, and he bangs his claws together until the bots on either side of him wince, and he gets even louder when he knows Rotorstorm has noticed him.

“Go on, get up there!” he shouts. “You earned this, didn’t you?” The rest of the crowd has calmed down, but he stays standing, arms dropped to his sides. He stares at Rotorstorm as he crosses the stage, shoulders pressed back, each step placed so precisely in front of the last that it must be calculated. He waits until Rotorstorm has reached the edge to sit back down, and then still his optic is pointed, refusing to let Rotorstorm look anywhere else. Rotorstorm’s own optics are wide, though the rest of his expression is slack. His biolights are steady, his ventilations manual and even. He’s perfect.

“Rotorstorm,” the presenter says, “I hope you will forgive us; this is an honor that is long overdue. During the Simanzi Massacre, you singlehandedly scouted a pass through Mount Helix that allowed for the rapid evacuation of the 9th Battalion. Your commanding officers estimate that your decisive actions saved upwards of one thousand Autobot lives.” Whirl’s engine is silent. He’s drinking in every word. “Today, we present you with the Novic Medal for Outstanding Honor. ‘Til all are one.” Rotorstorm ducks his helm as the award is magnetized to the right of his cockpit, finally breaking his optic contact with Whirl.

“’Til all are one,” he repeats, though most of the crowd does not hear him over Whirl’s cheers.

Rotorstorm turns without looking up and returns to his seat. The next recipient is called forward and Whirl walks out.

 ~*~

 He can’t do it. He’ll blame it on the way Tailgate’s plating quietly rattles or Cyclonus’ entire personality as he starts to board, but he shuts off the shuttle’s engine and disembarks with them trailing behind. He retreats to his hab suite, and though he does not invite them he’s glad when they make it inside before the door closes.

“Nobody in the mutiny is allowed to have any of my stuff. I don’t care if Thunderclash is dying again and my innermost energon is the only compatible fuel in the galactic sector, he can’t have it.”

Tailgate nods along, his fingers in a death grip around Whirl’s pincer.

“And when you guys are talking about me later, no one call me anything but Whirl. I’m serious. I don’t know about anything I did before that, so what could it matter?” He looks up at the ceiling. “In fact, don’t tell anyone about the Primus thing. No point.”

Cyclonus is a solid, immobile presence on his other side.

“Am I forgetting anything? Oh, tell Roadbuster I’ll be waiting for him in the pit.”

“Do gods go to the Afterspark?” It’s not clear who Tailgate is asking.

“I definitely don’t plan to stick around and watch over you or whatever. Think I’ve had enough of this universe.” He chuckles, a strained sound. “Yeah. So, that’s it. Better get this show on the road, huh?”

“We’ll be with you the entire time,” Tailgate promises.

“For as long as you want us,” Cyclonus amends.

“Yeah, I know.” He shrugs, laughs again. “I’m not even really scared of the whole dying thing. I’d made peace with that. Whenever there was something I needed to do, I took care of it, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it if the right bullet finally found its mark.” He glances between them. “Now, though… you two better behave, I swear. I’m making it your Primus-sworn duty to take care of and listen to each other, okay?”

Cyclonus nods, and the way he takes it so seriously makes Whirl almost glad he’s on his way out. He couldn’t handle being looked at like that all the time, and especially it’s the way they reach across his lap and entwine their hands that really does him in. He hates them dearly.

“Okay,” he says, winding up his t-cog for the big spin. “Okay, twelve Matrixes. No problem.”

 ~*~

 Whirl times the blinking numbers to the rotations of his spark. 1,600 exactly. He’s done it.

He leans back in his chair but cannot stop staring at the little device in his hands. It is perfect. After years of researching, studying, trying, and failing, the pieces have come together to allow him to create this one perfect thing. He loves it, and a dangerous feeling of pride fills his spark, the kind that has so long been missing from his work in the Aerial Corps. If there is a Primus (and he’s still not sure, whatever the Functionists insist), this is what he built Whirl to do.

He gets up from his desk and walks across his small living space to a shelf. Nearing capacity, it has just enough room for him to push a few previous attempts aside to make room for the latest version. Surrounded by its brethren, it becomes lost almost immediately amid the sea of blinking lights, indistinguishable even from those he considers lesser. Some defects are more obvious than others: one has sat at the same time since the moment he brought it online, while another counts one klik backward for every two forward. But most are just slightly imperfect, necessary steps to get to this point, and he loves them all dearly.

He stands back. It feels like the work of a lifetime, these clocks, though he knows he took up the pursuit relatively recently. It’s just hard to remember how he filled his time before he had this project to work on, and he is again grateful he discovered it at all.

It is a gift to be able to create, he thinks, to cast a broad eye over his creations. The numbers blink at him, all out of tune, and he lets himself imagine being content doing just this for the rest of his life.

[maggyoutthere]

A letter to the fucking image of the gr*mmer that lives inside my head

TWs: Child grooming (in case u didn’t notice from the title), venting, non-sense of someone who’s having a meltdown

Click at your own risk

Today I had a panic attack over a fucking rp. Why u ask? Cuz it’s what happens when you get fucking groomed for 3 years straight by someone who you legit looked up to.

Like damn a 20 year old having sexual rps with a 13 year old? Sis CHILL. I mean bullshit on me should’ve seen it coming but like damn that was a slow burn. And like realising after 3 fucking years that they used your fucking abandonment trauma and hyperfixations against you? Using literally every single thing they had to strip you from any self-worth? Fucking demanding fanart and praise for all and every bullshit they made?? Literally having to get them on a good mood just to get an I N C H of respect and love back??? LITERALLY getting your support system away because u didn’t answer a message the way they wanted u to in their head??

And now every time I look at the fucker you used to groom me I can never truly like a good character anymore because my support system is now also A FUCKING TRIGGER. I haven’t rp in months - something I legit loved to do for fun - and now that I’m finally getting the hang of it YOU, of all people, drop back in my head. Do you know what I did when I fell asleep, forgot to drop a reply on a rp and the other person said it was fine and that I should take care of myself above anything else? I fucking threw my phone against the wall and SCREAMED because the only good vibes I ever got from someone online was you pretending to love me. I panicked, I cried, I called my friends, cried some more, had an headache and fell asleep on the floor. Fucking no one was home, thank goodness I didn’t miss a class or school work but damn. You fucking did this to me, you absolute scum of the earth. I hope what you did to me haunts you.

But u know the best part? That I’m actually getting better. Finally having real friends both in rl and online that love and accept me, having a healthy support system and more self-worth than ever. Bitch you WISHED you could get to my point. I was always a better artist than you and you were afraid of me, you said it yourself. Well guess what; you should fucking be very VERY scared. Cuz now the whole internet knows what you did. That you groomed MULTIPLE minors with sexual rps and your self-indulgent delusions. You claim originality? Bitch your main was a fucking mascot from a metal band. You claim intellectuality? Hun you’re a deliberately bad self-insert in a Joker movie but for real. You claim to be mentally indifferent and insane? Sis just take a chill pill and learn to have some fucking respect. I grew out of my “I’m 14 and this is deep” but you were FUCKING 20 at the time. You claim to be oh all knowing of psychology? Yeah, you know a thing or two: you fucking used an autistic kids hyperfixation to groom them for a third of a decade.

HWI, Rabecca, you fucking know who you are. Yeah sure I blocked you here, but your fucking grin remains in my mind to this day. So here’s the summary of all of this: I hope you die like all the bad people that walked this Earth. I hope I can teach and educate people about defending themselves from shitstains like you, because that’s the only good thing I learned from you: that you’re just not worth it.

[autobuttonsanddeceptistitches]

Viper’s Vengeance Chapter 3: Peril Among the Stars

Chapter 1

So, its been almost six months since I updated this story. Primus it feels like so long ago. I had so much going on in my life, I’m happy this is over, now I can start working on the next chapter!

~

Ten years since the incident. Program updating, systems operational, protocols online, activation, begin. The eternal darkness ended for the longest time. A figure stood there, bearing a skull for a face. Scanners indicating an unrecognizable soldier. Not of any origin. The prototype stared, a life hidden behind black glass, leaving worry in the samurai. Bludgeon stepped back, pointing a katana's tip at the symbol on the failure's chest.

“State your designation.” The mech ordered, leaving confusion on the Rattler.

No reply, instead, the machine pushed the sword away and walked towards the exit. The skeleton sneered, noticing the warnings going off all around them. “Alert, unknown enemy detected, alert.” Said in such calmness that didn't seem to care.

“You'd better prove yourself whatever your name is. I don't want to return to base with a defect for spare parts!” That seemed to trigger something in the dark blue mech's systems, and off he ran...

“Viper?” Her voice broke the processor's glitch. Viper blinked a few times, turning to face her. “Are you sure you're okay here? I do remember that your processor acts up in certain locations.” She reminded, glancing at the lights bringing the place back up into operation.

“This is where Cobra sealed me after my malfunction. Ten years after that, Luca revealed this location to Megatron. He grew impatient of the human's failures, so the human spat out this. Bludgeon found me right as an Autobot got too close to the area. Took care of Sideswipe, which was all that bone face needed to prove that I was worth the time.” Viper walked past the femme and towards a large machine. “Here, this is where my new life began.” The mech gave a swift kick, then tearing apart the rest of the stasis pod.

The femme ninja listened to the denting metal and shattering glass. Standing still as this continued for a bit. Yellow optics took notice of the interior, finding old forgotten machinery. No wonder Cobra dumped their failed prototype here. What was the first mission she took on in the Earth Wars? Ah yes, when she had to face Arcee who hid secret codes. Far simpler times, before the Prime Cores, Demigods, Deathsarus, GI Joe, and Cobra. Such insanity in a few short years. That voice in her helm kept repeating that confession, yet, she couldn't say. Why is it so difficult to talk?

She waited until Viper finished crushing the stasis machine apart. His wings flared, back hunched over. The snake got up, turning to face her. “I'm better now, sorry about that, there are some things I never want to see active again.” Viper trailed off, heading over to a big computer. “In this, it houses the answers I am seeking. From what I can know, this system has a lot of Cobra plans and projects. Bludgeon insisted that we leave this place soon so I could meet Megatron. I couldn't uncover its secrets at that moment. I want to know why Cobra created me, it's impossible for someone to come up with an insane idea. A whole organization going along with it. A robot soldier wearing the shell of a Rattler.” His bulky digits pressed on the small keyboard, being careful to ensure not to break the source of his past.

Words scrolled by which showed so many forgotten ideas. Nightbird listened to the swearing before tugging him aside. Then she typed it out herself. “I'll handle this, I'm used to tiny keys.” The Japanese fembot interjected, finding it to be easier for her to do this. Odd, nothing on Viper, yet the name Rattler and Transformer did appear a few times.

After a bit of digging around, a file appeared with top secret reports. The two read through them, both taking it all in. How could the American government know so much about Cybertronian technology? Its documentation came thirty years before the Autobots and Decepticons arrived to Earth. It didn't make any sense, nor the live specimen documented. The identity lost, making it difficult to guess who would give up their body for them to research.

Viper took a while to say anything, left in silence over all the materials they read. “Those documents, they must've been the blueprints Cobra used to create me... Nightbird, can you find anything about who wrote this?” He whispered, optics glued to the screen as they found a picture file.

A bunch of humans, all posed by a piece of machinery that appeared advanced for the time based on their clothes. Some men and women, all in Triple-I: Intelligence and Information Institute. Nightbird typed around a few files, noticing how their names appeared.

“I recognize some of them from my collected memories, and all their names are in the files. They're the ones behind how Cobra created you.” She trailed off, yellow optics glanced at the dark blue mech. He stared at the humans in their thirty year old days.

“Do you know where they are now?” Viper came up to the screen, taking in the details.

“A quick search on the internet gave me everything I needed, oh how clumsy they are to use this 'social media'. I assume this was a long forgotten program, happened in North Dakota, August 16th, 1986. No one knows of this as they retired from the military. All this time, America had access to those of the stars. Why do you ask?”

“I may have killed my creators, but knowing this, I cannot let more of me be born by their hands. I'm not yet done with my thirst for revenge. Nightbird, I'd suggest you go back with the others. There's a high risk that I will die once this task is complete. All hiding in America and other parts, they forget, not knowing that their pasts will haunt them once again.” The mech copied the data, making the best route based on where the humans live. They'll all pay for their foolishness. Their thirst for eternal knowledge will destroy them.

Nightbird held his shoulder, her optics narrowed. “Its not easy to complete a task solo. I'll come along, you've already shown me your second birthplace. Before you complain about how I can't because of the water, I'll find my ways. Where are you heading first?”

“Los Palmos Observatory, located in Texas close to Mexico. Two of the scientists at the Triple I worked at North Dakota. They wrote a bit about Cybertronians ability to travel through the stars. Nothing too major, but its a start. Think your tires can handle that? Its farther than from here back to base at Arizona.” He chuckled, wings twitching and ready to leave this trash heap.

“Sounds good, will meet you there when I can. Take care Viper, we're going to be dancing with death soon.” She flipped her body, transforming and driving out of the hidden base.

Why is she so intent on helping him? All the dark blue jet knew is that he's the only Cybertronian created by humans. Viper waited till she's far away to dim the computer's screen. He turned to stare at the scar embedded into his helmet and face. Primus he felt tired, unsure what to think knowing how right she is. Its a suicide mission to enrage the American government and the Autobots, but this has to happen. Taking a few deep vents, the mech connected a few cables to his helmet and lied down. Gotta leave one last present to those who documented the creation...

Data, so many pieces swirled around the unconscious mind. Downloading into his helm, awakening those old memories that most forgot. Humanity stole the gift of those from the stars. Living aliens, mastering the ability to change shape. Documenting entire histories far before the first man sharpened a rock. Yet, as Viper continued this, strange images began to form. Among them, the complete blueprints of the Rattler Transforming Soldier. Bright blue optics widened, noticing something wrong. It has no face underneath the visor and mouthplate... The Decepticon stared, before touching his own mouthplate and broken visor. The dates don't add up, these can't be the complete ones! He stared before deleting the information once its registered into his helm.

After a while going through the tediousness, its over now. Viper forced his processor out of this self inflicted slumber. Now no one can look up those old documents anymore. No human deserves to know the existence of Cybertronian life, not if they gave birth to imitations. Those who are fakes, that shamed upon. Yet, that empty face remained etched into his optics. More questions came than answers, leaving the mech in silence. As the snake got out of his forced slumber, he noticed an acid gun lying by his side. The same weapon left behind after Cobra's demise. Fingers touched the aged metal, knowing how good it is to wield this old weapon once more. Must've been a gift from Nightbird, who seemed to get it all fixed up. “Canary, I'll figure out why you hide so much from me.” Came a chuckle, before he got out of the old place once again.

Back in the harsh sunlight, why is the western coast so darn hot? No wonder there isn't that much greenery around here. Why couldn't the Decepticons set up a base somewhere nice? Rather than the remains of human activity. Still, the images he saw made his tanks clench. How could those blueprints show no face? Processor in a daze, forgetting Nightbird as she drove beneath him. They traveled across the shadows of the canyons once leaving civilization. So many lives passing by, children at a school, people buying at stores, watching movies. Oh the movies; such strange concepts that Cybertronians never got into until the war. Easiest way to document any traitors or secret plans. That's from what he recalled listening to the others when they got overcharged off their afts.

Oh what fun times to hear the cheery voices that everyone gave out after a successful raid. Also when a new bot comes over from wherever. Moon, Earth, any planet, depends on if they're liked among the others to care. Why is Earth such a gathering place for these guys? There are other planets too, yet they stay on what they called the 'dirtball'. Viper never felt right to call his home the dirtball. This planet is where his creators got the materials to create him. The mech exhaled, noticing how the Sun began to set. The yellow sphere that rotates around this planet. Cybertron didn't have any light up above, nor any oxygen. Three moons which the Autobots claimed as their own. The Rattler remembered how happy he felt to be on the metal moon, that its the home far away from home. Due to their technology, both could move across the deserts further than a regular car on a road trip. The suburban family riding out to somewhere like Palm Springs or Las Vegas.

It took a long time to travel from California to Texas. Baking in the hot sun never helped his mood as music kept playing from his radio. A lot of Spanish songs, getting closer to the border. What a strange choice for an advanced observatory's location, but no matter what. They'll be the first to pay for their crimes. Down below, a stylish black and white car drove on the road. Nightbird is quite durable, but that makes sense for everyone. Cybertronians are able to handle the heat. Viper’s quite lucky that he won’t have to endure any pain in the Summer warmth. Still nothing back from Megatron or the rest of his soldiers. Its good, no reason to worry as he must’ve taken the request for a break for granted. Never easy to obliterate an entire army by oneself. The rest of the flight is a blank, with the dust devils coming and going. Once the mission is over, he’ll try to visit Tijuana to eat some barbecued iguana. Whatever that may taste like.

The misery ended in the night sky’s greeting. A lone observatory lay still, lens continuing to observe what may be out there. Los Palmos has seen better days, forgotten to the world beyond the science community. Hiding a sin, that desire to find life beyond the Earth. Two life forms detected in the scanners, the files state for them to be Jack and Sue Richards. Two astronomers who’ve spent long lives exploring across the world. To the most exotic places for the greatest lens to observe the distant nebulae. Before their journeys, they accepted being members of the Triple I, which meant a piece of his birth. Los Palmos is their home, far up in the mountains that could show much more of the desert had the sun blessed them.

Viper landed on the rocky top, bright blue optics stared for a long time. His turbines slowed down to reduce the heavy noises. Acid gun clenched in a firm hold. So, this is how revenge grows, to slaughter them, their work is the reason he grew in the Cobra’s nest. To awaken as an abomination, there is nothing left they can give to the Earth that will matter. Time’s left them old and weak. No matter how old or young, its time to never return from the path he once stepped on. Their intense craving will be their undoing, thirty years later.

Sue finished another cup of coffee, heavy bags underneath those brown eyes. Weary eyes glanced up to the old photographs of so many places she once been to. Jack is nearby, back to work on their favorite machinery. A telescope meant their lives, the reason Triple I came to them with their suggestions. To work with them for extra payment and free vacations, oh how perfect it seemed to be. Until that one day… Sue waited for the drink to kick in, an influence rushing through weakened veins. No longer a thought about what may come next, unless it’d be an old family member or friend. Their nephew, an old photo showed said child gripping a diploma while enveloped in blues. “Its been a good life, hasn’t it Jack?”

A man stepped away from the large telescope, coming down to her. “Are you thinking about the Grim Reaper again?”

“Why would I dream of a snake bearing those dark ominous robes?”

“Sue, you should cut the caffeine out, the doc did say it’ll influence your medication.”

“But, we still need to record a few more sights. Los Palmos is our home. I miss those days, and I wished we never got involved with Triple I. To know that aliens exist, to hide that from everyone.” The woman trailed off, taking a large gulp. A nearby candle burned among the heavy lights above which gave light to this dark dome. Silence, a gentle breeze brushing the exterior as always, a hope to bury away the past.

Nightbird transformed, finding Viper standing still. “Once I begin, I cannot go back. Think of your choice Nightbird, I know the consequences of my actions.” He came closer to the observatory as the ninja watched, remaining still.

The Cobra prototype slammed his body against the large building, causing it to shake. He rammed into it a few more times, breaking away the concrete and storming into the building. Something shattered, it must be where they are! Viper prowled into the hallway, kneeling down to ensure he wouldn’t damage his wings.

Sue and Jack ran, a broken mug lay on the floor as the alarms blared. A large shadow emerged from a hallway, causing them to hide in a spare room. Lying on the walls were a few guns, a pitiful attempt to save themselves, but what else could they rely on? Faraway help? They waited in the darkness, holding onto each other and weapons as their ears rang. Hearts racing faster once seeing blue staring back at them.

“Sue and Jack Richards, Triple I, you've chosen a grave mistake for both Cybertronians, and me. The atonement is death.”

Sue fired a few shots at the mech's face, each bullet bouncing off of the mouthplate. The gun slipped from shaking hands, as Jack tried firing back, but with no effect. “Please, don’t do this! We have a nephew who always visits us!” Sue gripped her husband’s jacket, tears coming down the wrinkled face.

“Then he’ll understand.” He aimed the gun, shooting the two with a powerful blast of acid. Emotion drained from blue optics as they screamed. Bodies melting down into puddles of decaying flesh. A rush of energy came to the mech once hearing nothing but alarms. Without warning, he tore through more of the observatory. Acid gun put to use getting rid of everything. “What do you think Cobra Commander!? Do you believe me to be a failure now!?” His roar echoed through the bleak sky.

Nightbird remained still, staring as the building melted into concrete and steel puddles. Yellow noticed the mech walking up to her. She stared up at his optics, finding nothing but a blank blue. “We need to leave before the humans get here.” The femme transformed, driving across the mountain range.

Viper glanced back before running over to the edge of the cliffside and transforming. Soaring through the darkened canyon, dark blue blending in with the darkened oranges. That’s it, no way back once the candle burned bright. A flame that will never die. The flier followed yellow headlights as she swerved across the mountain's paths. In the distance, bright red and blue lights glowed through a known road. ::We’ll need to find a place to hide, I can see the humans coming this way!:: He messaged her.

::I’ll find my way down, we can’t hide here! Go get to somewhere safe and message me when you do!:: She kept driving, never speaking as the Rattler vanished in the night sky.

The ninja femme touched the ground, sprinting away before the vehicles could find her. On the enhanced tires, she didn’t strain under the pressure. A rush of wind graced her back, must've been the human vehicles driving by. So they were going that way too. Nightbird stared at the large puffs of smoke from what remained of the building. Viper did this, but its for a greater good, was it?

After roaming through the darkness, she’d soon slip into a hidden cave. She took a few minutes to relax, then noticed a small fire in the larger part. Nightbird crawled in, finding Viper illuminated by the reds and oranges. Blue optics staring up at an opening in the ceiling.

“I got worried the humans found you.” Not a sign of damage on him, so strange since he’d went through a mess earlier. A bit dusty, but nothing wrong with that. She sat down on the other side, tossing him a cube.

“They’re not meant for speed, they're for emergencies. I’m amazed at how fast they were to arrive, we need to find the best time to get out of here.” The femme leaned back, exhaling a deep vent. “We’ll need to wait until the event dies down before we can head over to our next destination. Do you know where we will go?”

“I’m thinking about it, since the other targets are in further parts of America.” He brushed off the dust, blue optics glimmered alongside the fire burning bright. “You’d better get some rest, you’ve been driving everywhere to tag along with me. I’ll make sure nothing happens.” Viper waited, putting his gun down.

“What about you? Weren't you the one who destroyed the observatory in one swoop? I'm sure none of them will find us, they're too concerned about the two who died. How many more do we need to hunt down?”

“A few more, they kept it a secret. The document states how eight made contact with the Cybertronian on that fateful day. Two are dead, leaving the rest still hiding in their regular lives. Most are in America, yet two aren't. We'll find them, but must keep secret, because the Autobots will find out.”

“But once its over, we'll return to the others, won't we?”

“Depends on if I can survive long enough. But, if I do die, then I will be okay with that once their dead. I do wonder though, will I go to the Allspark? I am human made, wouldn't Primus consider me to not be one of his? It makes me wonder if there is an afterlife for me.” He opened his chest, showing the lack of a Spark.

“I'm sure there is, don't you remember what Starscream said? He saw something after death, and is alive with us now to tell us.”

“He wouldn't stop talking about it, after the death of Unicron.” Viper looked up, hearing the sirens get louder. “Looks like its time to rest.” The mech grabbed a clump of dirt, dropping it over the flames and letting them die down. “We leave as soon as the morning comes.” He lay down, dimming the lights on his armor and entering into a soft recharge, closing the chest.

Nightbird stared before following his orders. She kept to the shadows as the investigation began further away from them. “Six more, you're quite risky to do this.” Came a soft chuckle before joining him in the rest.

Darkness, that's how life begins, doesn't it? Something strange is happening. Whirling machinery, a rush of Energon, dripping, praying, is this where life comes from? Its quiet, what is this? A dream? But, I can't have dreams, I'm not real...

Someone's calling for a name? What is this name? Who's name is it? Why can I hear it? I don't remember it...

My optics opened up, I don't remember this. I'm not at the Cobra base? Its some sort of lab, but not one I recognize. I sat up, taking in my surroundings. Its all Cybertronian, no sign of humanity's work. What's going on? My helm moved down to my body, no. Its not mine! I got off the table, shaking before finding other mechs staring at me. All seemed to be joyous at the sight of my movements. Some came closer to me, speaking about their troubles and what they hope my awakening will mean. If I can concentrate enough, I should be able to move, or speak. Why can't I do this? My controls are gone, I'm lost in this mech's body. Why aren't I scared? This is a dream, I'll wake up when my processor decides to. But, pure Cybertronians can dream, I'm a fake, I can't dream.

A mech came up to me, bearing blue and white armor, a grand smile on his face. He seemed to be talking, but under deaf audio receptors.

Everything flashed white, I now faced an open door to Cybertron? Its golden, much like the mysterious cities of gold on Earth. Cybertronians walked in the streets, speaking among themselves. None bore any symbols, speaking of their lives. I watched this dream run far from the door, exploring this new world. Life, I felt alive, that this was me. No, what I saw wasn't who I am. I will wake up, then forget. Yet, I wished I lived in this Cybertron before the war. Everyone's in union, its so different compared to the one I stepped upon. Gold glimmered alongside the orange lights. If I was human, I would've shed tears upon sight of this marvelous wonder.

Another flash, taking me away from the rushing views, I'm staring up at the stars in some sort of crystal garden? Its so beautiful, much like the sky when I first awoke. They glimmered among the stars, leading me to wondering why I'm here. Then, someone came into view. She stared at me, or this body I'm residing within. A rush of something came back, I couldn't recall why I felt this way, yet, I wanted it to last forever. The femme spoke to me, yet I couldn't hear what the words meant. I wanted to know what this meant, it hurt so much. She's... pretty, I like how she looks in those soft colors. She smiled, cupping this body's cheek, meaning no visor or mouthplate. But, it faded away to white... Wait, don't go! I want to know who you are, who this body belongs too. I'm not real, I'm an imitation... Please, stay...

Blue lights came back online, finding himself in the cave. Nightbird is still asleep, a dream. Yet, what was it about? What body did he see himself in? He lowered his helm, noticing the sounds of sirens are gone. They must've chose to wait for the morning to inspect for the damage. Optics inspected the opening of the cave above, finding glimpses of morning. Its' time to go. He crawled over to the femme, holding her shoulder.

“Wake up Canary, we've got to go before they find us.” He muttered, causing her to stir.

“Ah, so they're gone?”

“Yep, we don't have to worry about them for a while. Gotta get going now before they come back. Our next stop is over in Florida, so I hope you brought your sunscreen.” Viper chuckled, earning a glare from the femme.

“Don't make me report you in for that.” Said with a playful gesture before leaping up onto the ground above.

Viper jumped up as well, soon the two were off again on their long journey. Yet, in this morning light, it brought back the sight of Cybertron when it bore gold. At first, it wasn't good to dwell on strange dreams, yet, now, he wanted it more. How he craved to step into that other mech's life, how he wished it was his. But, life proved to be cold and cruel, leaving him to lash at those who lost trust. Yet, Nightbird so far, she seemed nice, but no one can tell if a ninja has other motives until revealed later. For now, its best to keep his guard up, and prepare himself for the next target of his past.