#Organic waste streams

[starredforlife]

If you fucking morons cared one ounce as much for palestine as you do for this horrid little show.

[alienpossession]

6 hours before Part 1

After quite some times, we believe that Enki's work on Earth already provided clear assurance to ensure a safe landing of our kind in the so-called "Blue Planet". As the lead, I landed first to greet Enki as he prepared me for his next step.

He looked massive inside the human husks from my perspective, but he promised me an even bigger catch which is important as I need to establish my authority and ensured protection over our existing kind that will follow Enki's and my steps. I latched myself in the heel of one of many Enki's husks as my skin seamlessly camouflaged to match the husks as to not draw unwanted attention. When Enki opened his front door, an even bigger human becomes visible from my point of view, which provided me with surrealistic perspective as this other human looked way thicker yet also stronger than Enki's towering form.

"What else, boy? You really need to stop calling me all the time for any minor inconveniences, you know? I have more than one building to take care off and definitely more than one tenant,"

"Yeah, and definitely more than one species too, now Cap,"

I take that as my cue. While the bigger guy clearly puzzled by the statement Enki made through this particular husk of his, I quickly latched myself to the hairy, uncovered legs of the older human. He instantly froze upon contact as I released the stream of my numbing liquid into his system with my small, delicate set of teeth that just penetrates the human flesh with ease. Then, after sensing that he really just stood still, I stop biting and climbed up into his shorts and pierced myself right through his anus to access the rest of his organ. The upward journey lasted rather quickly, and soon I found myself staring just slightly shorter compared to Enki's husk. He greeted me with a smile and then proceeded to hug me super tight

"Welcome to New York City, Captain. You fit right in over here as my landlord,"

"Hmmm.....yup....great husk selection, Enki. Or should I say....boy," I said, getting used to my human husk and all sets of his memories and muscle reflexes, "I need to use your bathroom if you don't mind,"

"Sure thing Greg, it's the first door on the left," he replied to me by calling me with the husk name, which put a rather sinister smile on my face

"Boy, I'm your landlord. No need to tell me shit about my own building," I said with a chuckle as I know I nailed to copy this husk way of speaking, but just a bit brighter to Greg's usual mean tone.

I eventually walked into the decent-sized bathroom, this is one of the bigger ones in this building since Enki chose a rather well-off tenant as his husk, and I started to let out a golden-colored stream out of my thick appendage into the toilet bowl. It's peeing, a rather unique excretion system of human's small-yet-complex physiology with all of its ritual and precision. My view is this activity is quite wasteful, as our kind are highly efficient in processing our nutrient, we don't really excrete anything as everything we consumed turned into energy. But based on Enki's notes, this thick meat that only naturally exist in the body of a human male also served as their reproductive organ, yet another fascinating and complex physiology of human body. Enki's video showcased how this meat, in its various form, shapes, color, girth and even curvature, impaled directly to a fitting hole that the female form have in their body. We of course have no full video on the inside of the female reproductive organ, but my husk memory of junior high school biology and his own various sexual encounters sort of fill in the gap on the kind of liquid and process that eventually resulted in the creation of a human being. Greg's memory also flashed me about several memories of man-to-man breeding too conducted by his own offspring, but Enki's knock snapped me out of my focus as he peeked his head in, already in different form

"Everything's good?"

"Y---yeah, all good. So, I'll call the other to start the descend to this room and then we'll go to all the tenants?"

"I mean.....you don't have to knock on all doors, just put them close to the door and let them slide inside and do the rest. We can just wait for their updates. All the tenants have your number after all, they can inform us once they succeed. Meanwhile, if they enter the room with the tenants out, they just can wait until the tenants returned. Sounds easy, right?"

"Hm, okay, that sounded more efficient and less time-consuming. After all, I need you to explain to me about some of Greg's memories, I rather spend my day understanding all things human compared to knock on multiple doors all afternoon long,"

"Even better plan, knock on one door you know exactly that the tenant is inside for the day and tell them to do the work after the takeover while you can return here and I can explain to you about everything you want to understand!"

And that's exactly what I did as soon as the rest of our kind descended. I put them all inside this utility bag and storm out from Enki's unit as I knock on the unit 3 doors down from Enki's husk unit. Greg memories revealed to me about Tim recent divorce proceeding and the fact that he practically lived alone ever since, making him a convenient operative to spread our kind all over the building. I wasted no time as I throw Elmy right at Tim's startled face and before long, Tim is a convert and ready to do his job. Like me, he excused himself first to his own bathroom as Elmy processed all the newfound memories and human reflexes in order to pilot his body perfectly. As I finally walk to the bathroom, he's buck naked and smiling at his own reflection

"He's so depressed, thank God you threw me to take control over him and instill this husk with a new sense of purpose, thanks Captain,"

"Well, less talking and more moving, Elmy. All your comrades here awaiting their fresh husk and a chance to instill those human husk with new sense of purpose too,"

"On it, Captain. You can leave the bag with me while I put on some clothes first. No need to worry, I'll finish it even before the sun sets,"

---

Truth be told, while Enki told me about the confusion I have over the conflicting memories of my husk and my original learnings about Earth from our elders ages ago, streams of messages entered my phone and disrupted our learning session. It's mostly selfie of men followed by a quick confirmation on who's who

"Ronntholn, reporting from Carter Worthington. 27 years old. Former FAANG senior programmer, now just relying on multiple investments from his savings and severance while enjoying life to the fullest, like sculpting his body and screwing chicks,"

"Ronnusen, reporting from Bruno Pereira. 49 years old with wife and 2 adult kids, all kids are out from the unit since two years ago, wife already subdued until further command,"

"Mafis, reporting from Ruben Moreno. Entrepreneur caught up with all sorts of the wrong people across the crime world and police in the city. Very high proximity to danger which usually means abandoning this husk, awaiting orders for next move,"

I shared the various stream of information I received from the husk to Enki, asking for his analysis on what course of action we should take next with these series of husk under our control. But I know there should be more bodies reporting, and I can sense that some of them are not reporting their updates despite already succeeding, so I tried to zone out and tap into all the visions that I can access all at once, like the human technology called CCTV.

As expected, some of them are already defying my orders, testing around their vessels even before making a report.

One interesting vision showcased one of the recent husk surrounded by 4 reeked skater punk or something that he alone can clearly beat the shit out of, but somehow he decided not to. I tapped Enki on his shoulder to make him join my vision and share his assessment on the situation

"Come on, pathetic fag. Don't just stand there. Sniff!"

Enki pulled me out of the vision rather quickly

"That's some sort of fetish, pretty sure uniquely human but it's not like we figured out all the rites of the species in the entire universe yet, right? So, it's when powerful and respectable member of society degraded themselves to be humiliated or controlled by what society generally deemed to be the lower people, younger, smaller, less privileged, all sort of that. Some humans get their "sexual kick" from such act, and I guess it's better for you to not linger too long in it, that can alter your husk's psychological state if you are exposed to it for too long or internalizing it. After all, you are very much still adjusting to all the newfound information, your mind is highly malleable until the first 12 hours is over,"

"Yeah, I really don't know whether it's the atmosphere or something, but I feel like I'm so unsure about everything and just let my husk to do all the moves and the thinking. Like, yes I can assert myself to make this husk do what I want, but there's this nagging sensation that always asked to be paid attention to. I'm not even sure I'm this curious about the matter of gay sex, I just feel like it's what this husk constantly pushed me to think about,"

"Hmmmmm.....maybe that's what filled his mind before he came to my room. Is that memory fresh according to his memory?"

"Yeah, quite fresh. Just last night,"

"Oh well, maybe that's why. You know what, before my friend comes around, maybe we should check your unit, see what's up. And pretty sure your son should've been converted too judging on the timing, let's check him out,"

---

Dang, sorry for long delay from me & @fullfriendnerdclutch we're both dealing with issues in our life hence the delay on the brainstorming session on the direction of this one. The continuation of this part (Greg's son & the actual part 2) will all be posted in fullfriendnerdclutch account, so stay tune!

[hiddenlongingsfanfic]

Just His Luck (Lucky Boys 1)

The viscous liquid drip…drip..dripped off of the tip of a clawed finger.

Landing on the bricks below, it sounded incongruously like rainfall.

The acid green substance defied gravity with its tendrils creeping out and then into the porous surfaces of a badly maintained sewer system. His hands were covered in tight fitting gloves, still glowing white even amongst the filth. They lay lax, palms up, and fingers loosely curled to create a small divot in the center.

It took a long time, and it hurt this waiting.

Slowly, though, his patience began to bear fruit.

In his slightly cupped hand pooled the unnaturally rippling ectoplasm.

Danny laboriously, in fits and starts, managed to bring his hand to his chest and tipped the meager liquid directly into his organs. He whined softly with relief as he felt this new world’s ectoplasm nourish him. He didn’t know what would happen if he had a direct source to guzzle from, though. He couldn’t even really describe the difference that he felt. he just knew that it was present and almost alien.

Although Danny smiled slightly, he supposed at this point, he was the alien life-form.

He grimaced then at the feeling of the restrictive plastic that was still strapped to his face before he was forced back to stoicism when it cut painfully into his skin. It wouldn’t be pretty if he had to try and projectile vomit through the thin metal bars that pierced his skin. He finally heaved a deep breath and gingerly wrapped his arms around his torso, doing his best to avoid any sutures, before he pillowed his head on the sinuous length of his tail. Curled into as tight of a ball as his battered body would concede, Danny finally allowed himself to start crying. Tears streamed down his face, and if he had had the ability, he would have screamed.

Wailed.  

At the loss of everything.

His jaw wouldn’t move, held in place by some sort of wire that wound its way through his gums and bones held in place by the plastic of the muzzle. Whatever Fenton invention they had used on it made it nearly impossible to remove. It refused to phase through walls with him and was strong enough that he couldn’t manage to snap the wire into pieces. 

They had learned their lesson early on with him.

They hadn’t wanted to hear what he had to say anyway. Had only cared about what they could discover next. What they could find as they tore through him with methodical, scientific patience. He was a ghost. Long dead. Why would they waste the supplies on feeding him? They had tried something different.

Something…bad.

This shallow pool was a slow method of collection, but it also gave him time to recover his strength, and it didn’t hurt anyone else. He wasn’t being forced to harm anyone just to survive. He couldn’t remember when the portal had started to fall to pieces around him. Cobbled together as it had been, a mixture of human and animal blood used by his friends in a desperate attempt to free him from the laboratory that he had been imprisoned in.

Danny had appeared amongst the clouds and didn’t have the strength to stay afloat.  Danny’s ghost half was supernaturally hardy, but even he needed time to recuperate after plummeting from that high in the air. He had tried to control his fall, but he had just been so tired. Normally, floating felt more natural to him when he was like this than walking. But his injuries even before he had escaped had left him weak. At least he had managed to avoid skewering himself on the steeple of a church. Had felt something close to horror at the thought of being killed (again? fully?) by the sharp points of a metal cross.

A sudden noise distracted him from his agonized sobs.

Danny growled low in his chest as he heard something splashing through the sewer water. Gross. That water couldn’t be sanitary. Seemed questionable to him. He wanted to disappear away from whatever was making that much of a ruckus. Sure, he could technically still turn himself invisible, but that wouldn’t hide the trail of ectoplasm that he had left in his wake. Better to make himself as scary as possible. At this point he’d probably have trouble fighting off the ghost of a fly, let alone whatever monster was roaming through near pitch black tunnels with apparent ease. He couldn’t bare his teeth anymore, but he let the sonic rumbling coming from his chest turn up a gear. There was another splash, and this time, it was followed by a curse. Someone had just fallen face first into that foul water.

Okay.

That helped the fear a little bit. 

Danny let the growl ebb away with a quizzical chirp. He’d have to be even worse off than he currently was to not recognize that “ Mother Fucker!!” that echoed off the brick walls for a moment.  The tinny sound of some sort of earpiece let him hear the faint sound of the feminine laughter of whoever was on the other line.

“Shut it, O. It’s your fault I’m down here anyways.”

The voice was raspy, but it also didn’t sound completely natural. Some sort of mechanical modulation that gave him the heebie-jeebies. 

“ I told you. Cameras caught something falling out of the sky. I found the furrow that it left.”

In the goddamn cemetery.”

“ Yes, but you saw the same thing I did.”

“Yeah, something dragged itself away from the impact site.” “

Satellites saw whatever fell. They literally survived a fall from low atmosphere space and then had the strength to pull themselves into the sewers.”

The damned muzzle meant that there was no way for Danny to run away from whoever was looking for him. Every other piece of clothing went intangible with no issue; but the Fucking Fenton Wire™ made it literally impossible for him to get his face through anything. Forcing himself through would probably end with him missing a bunch of teeth and a good portion of skin from his face. It might be worth it; Danny had taken enough blows to the head that he knew his teeth grew back eventually. Maybe he’d get lucky and the man would give up after his impromptu dip in sewage.

Has he ever been lucky in his entire life?

The abrupt blast of light as the man held up a small penlight felt like it pierced him solidly through both of his eye sockets.

“Hmmm, I’m seeing some sort of liquid.”

“ Blood?”

“I mean the splatter marks. They match up to what I’d expect to see if someone managed to drag themselves through Gotham city water.” 

“ But?” “

"But this shit is looking a hell of a lot more like  Lazarus Water?”

There was a long buzzy pause that came out of whatever kind of earwigs these two weirdo’s were wearing. Danny forced himself to lay even flatter to the ground. He took in a deep breath and fully stuck himself into the corner. Maybe his ratty old hazmat suit would let him pass as a pile of dirty laundry or a trash bag. It wouldn’t work, but Danny hadn’t had too many great ideas about how to talk to a man without showing off his wired. shut. teeth. He also seemed familiar with ectoplasm. Though it didn’t seem to be a happy association.  His modulated voice had dipped into an even lower register. 

When a hand forcefully landed on Danny’s shoulders, the tips of his gloved fingers caught against the concrete of the floor and threw out sparks as he was dragged backwards by ungentle hands.

“ Wait! Hood, be care…!! ”

Danny had had more than enough of being manhandled in his lifetime (afterlife?) and he didn’t even let the woman on the other side of the microphone finish her warning before he whipped his body around and smacked his clawed fingers across the face of his unknown attacker.  It wasn’t exactly like a hot knife through butter, but Danny could feel the way the tips first caught in the metal of the full face helmet that the man was wearing and a push of ice into those cracks shattered the rest of the man's headgear. In a normal situation (for Danny) this would be the point where the person, ghost, being of unimaginable power, etc, etc would either turn tail and run in the other direction or at least shrink away from whatever had just ripped apart what looked like it had been a very expensive piece of body armor. This time, though, he didn’t even have time to react before being punched straight in the nose.

His head snapped back hard for a moment before he twisted sinuously around and launched himself at whoever had hit him. Only for the much taller man to nimbly spring away from where he had been and leaving Danny crouched in the grotty water that was already up well past his shins. At least his feet had decided to reappear. Small favors and all that.  Danny swung out in a wide arc with his claws bared rather than in a fist and let out a little growl of frustration as he hit nothing but air. The other man was quicker on his feet than Danny was used to and he didn’t want to put his full force behind the blow anyways. 

He’d gotten into plenty of fights with ghosts, in their form of rough and tumble play, and a little less regularly by humans that meant business.

This felt like a combination of the two and that was fucking weird man.

Not to be trusted.

It's time to try and actually fight his way out of this situation since this asshole wouldn’t just leave him alone to sulk in the sewers.

Danny instinctively tried to open his mouth wide both to show off his sharpened fangs as well as to hopefully wail into his attacker's face. Of course, the wire cut that off hard, and he had to pull back with a sharp, frustrated whine as he pawed at his face for a moment. Scrabbling to get that stupid mask off so that he could defend himself.  His claws caught on the edge of the plastic, but it didn’t budge. He only managed to snag a finger through a small loop of the metal before it shocked him hard enough to drop him completely in the water, the muzzle sparking and pulsing in punishment and making it impossible for him to keep on his feet. He could feel the way the water around him electrified and was relieved when the other man had the good sense to jump out of it.

This time when a hand came down to grab him the stranger had at least gone for a limb a little further away from whatever fuckery was happening on his face and he felt now much gentler hands wrap around his ankles.  They gently dragged him up and out of the water, plopping him relatively softly on the cement again before relinquishing his hold and backing up with his hands in the air. Danny flopped onto his belly and pushed himself away as quickly as he could. He ended up on all fours with his forearms flat on the ground so that he could hold his head up away from the ground but not have to try and hold onto his teetering balance.

Electricity flashed through his face and left him seeing stars and smelling burnt flesh.

He was gasping for air.

Air he knew that he didn’t really need anymore, but it still felt so necessary.

Deep inhales and slow exhales to try and calm himself down and to get the equipment on his face to stop fucking zapping him. It took several long seconds before he was able to get the courage together to look over and see what the stranger was doing while he was having an electricity induced panic attack. He hadn’t heard the other man leave but that didn’t mean much when this sort of stuff happened. He couldn’t hear much of anything with the way it felt like electricity jolted through his brain. It brought back not only recent memories of this being used as a punishment but older, harder memories from his deathday.  But no, the stranger hadn’t had the decency to leave. Instead he had just taken a seat across the stream of water from him and was watching him carefully from behind another smaller mask that still hid a good majority of his facial features.

Who wears two masks?

Seriously.

He could see the black hair with a shocking patch of white, turned a little brown gray from the muck of the sewer water. 

The sight made his core hum inquisitively.

That was a very distinctive sort of mark to have. Danny cocked his head a little further and, this time, let himself reach out with tendrils of inquiry from his core to see how the other man reacted.

At first, he didn’t.

React that is.

Didn’t seem to have any sort of idea about what was happening, and then Danny felt the first flutters of a very, very new core as it responded with a stressed chatter of noise. It said don’t hurt me…I’m just a baby…Just a baby . Be calm. Safe. safe. Danny’s eyes blazed green as he reacted to the placating emotions the man was obviously sending his way unintentionally. Even after everything he had gone through, Danny didn’t want to be a bully. Sure his face, hell his entire body, fucking hurt, but he had all but face planted into the other ghosts territory. He hadn’t known where the portal had been going to take him. All he had been able to gather from the abrupt conversation that he had had with Jazz was that it was somewhere the GIW would never find him.

A dimension far far away, where he would be safe.

Alone.

But safe.

He had grabbed onto that with both hands and hadn’t let himself think about what he might be losing. So he had managed to get away from an evil government agency, lose his remaining friends and family permanently, only to land smack dab in the middle of some powerful baby ghosts haunt.

Just his fucking luck . 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Jason wasn’t often at a complete loss for words.

He had words to spare.

Profanity laced, but still, available for use at all times. 

When the call had come through from Oracle, he had felt cold dread start to creep down his spine. Some thing had landed in Crime Alley and walked away from the impact. It was late enough that he had been considering turning in for the evening. When he had heard the subtle ping of his earpiece. Jason had almost considered declining the call. Whatever it was that Oracle needed at this time of night wasn’t going to be good. Even the criminals went to bed eventually.

He clenched hard on his motorcycle's handles before he accepted the call with a gruff. “What is it?”

“ We’ve got something or someone that just landed hard in the Gotham cemetery.” “

Why aren’t you sure if it’s a person or an object?”

“ They fell from literal space. Some sort of portal ripped open the sky and dropped something through it. I’d say the only person that would be able to survive that kind of a fall would be Superman.”

“But it’s not him because?”

“ Because Superman is currently working a case with B, and he was the first person I called. Present and accounted for.” “

And you don’t think it’s a random object falling from a portal because?”

“ First. When has it ever just been a random object?”

“Hn.” Jason grunted in agreement.

“ Secondly, it’s not there anymore. Camera’s went a little fuzzy, but somebody pulled themselves out of the impact site and slid through a sewer grate.”

“Hn.” This was not a grunt of agreement. This was a grunt of displeasure. Oracle had worked with enough bats and birds throughout her lifetime to be able to tell the difference immediately. “

Yes. I literally mean through. It looked like liquid, but it moved under its own power.” “

Hn.”

“ Don’t whine. It’s not befitting a crime lord.”

Jason didn’t even bother to respond as he pulled in through the cracked open gates of the cemetery. Better to park his bike here rather than on the street. B would actually never let him hear the end of it if someone tried to steal his tires.

It didn’t take him long to find the impact site.  There were spatters of sinister glowing green liquid, and the sight of it made Jason’s gorge rise. There was no way that was what it looked like. As he circled around the deep divot in the earth, Jason could make out what looked like handprints in the earth.

Whoever had landed here had hit the ground with enough force to dig several inches into the loamy soil before it looked like they had crawled out with clawed fingers digging deep divots into the dirt as it dragged itself towards the slim opening that led into the Gotham sewer system.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m fitting through that opening.” Jason drawled. “We’ll have to call in one of the Robins. What a shame.”

“ Nice try. There’s a manhole less than 50 feet from where you’re standing.”

Jason let his face drop forward with a dramatic sigh before he strode over to the manhole. With a grunt of effort, he pulled the thick metal up and to the side before he peered down into the darkness. Thankfully, his mask helped him see through the pitch black, and he was able to locate a ladder without trouble.

He curled his lip a little with disgust before dropping down into the muck. The ladder was made out of a sturdy metal, but he could still feel flakes of rust coming off underneath his leather gloves, and his boots slipped a little on some sort of slimy algae. Jason could hear Oracle breathing quietly in his ear, but they had both gone quiet as he had gotten closer to whatever fresh horror had arrived in Gotham city this time. The water was as disgusting as he had feared when he finally hit the floor, but it was still less slippery than trying to walk on the slick sides that slanted inwards to direct the water. Hood’s mask would have had trouble distinguishing the dark stain of normal blood from the filth that coated the surfaces around him but the bright neon of whatever this creature was dripping stood out in stark contrast to everything around it.

It looked toxic.

Malevolent.

His impression of danger only deepened when he felt his chest rumble like he was standing next to a speaker thrumming with bass.  He was so focused on following the small trailing drops that when Jason tripped over some sort of submerged trash he didn’t have the wherewithal to catch himself.

“Mother FUCKER!”.

Thankfully his mask was sealed tightly enough that none of the disgusting water actually got into his mouth or eyes but he knew that as soon as the mask was taken off he was going to be able to smell himself. Hell, regular civilians would be able to smell him coming before they heard his motorcycle. The thrumming noise came to an abrupt halt when he hit the water, and then Oracle's laughter rang out across the line. Jason had to grit his teeth hard to hold back an annoyed snarl.

“Shut it, O. It’s your fault I’m down here anyway.”

“ I told you. Cameras caught something falling out of the sky. I found the furrow that it left.”

“ In the goddamn cemetery.”

“ Yes, but you saw the same thing I did.”

“Yeah, something dragged itself away from the impact site.”

“Satellites saw whatever fell. They literally survived a fall from low atmosphere space and then had the strength to pull themselves into the sewers.” 

“Hn, I’m seeing some sort of liquid.”

“ Blood?”

“I mean the splatter marks I'm seeing. They'd match up to what I’d expect to see if someone managed to drag themselves through Gotham city water.” 

“ But?”

" But this shit is looking a hell of a lot more like Lazarus Water?” 

Jason had been feeling more and more sketched out as he stepped past what felt more and more like he had stepped into an evil Jackson Pollock painting. He could see handprints in the smears of green that looked almost human. But there was something wrong with the edges. Like whatever had made them didn’t have just normal fingertips. Little indentations in the brick marked the spaces where claws had dug in a little too forcefully to be human.

When Hood finally turned a corner in the sewers and found the source of the Lazarus water he barely even paused when he saw the dirty frayed edges of some sort of black rubbery suit and just reached out to drag whatever the hell had been stupid enough to show up right on his fucking doorstep out of the darkness.

“ Wait! Hood, be care…!! ”

The clawed hand that whipped out of the darkness shone off-white even in the darkness of the sewers, but Hood didn’t have time to dodge before they caught hard in the alloy that covered his left cheek.  He felt the fine cracks as they started to form before he was hit with a sudden icy cold that burned ferociously for a moment before he felt his helmet completely shatter. Jason could only see a vague shadow of whatever had just hit him, but it was more than enough, and he aimed a hard punch directly where somebody's nose should be.

If it had a nose.

He felt cartilage snap under his knuckles and smirked when his opponent's head snapped backwards. And continued backwards further than any human spine should be able to bend. It twisted sinuously around and sent another swiping blow in his direction. This time Jason had enough time to dodge the uncanny blow, and he leapt backwards to give himself some space. He heard a low growl of frustration from the man across from him, and Hood’s eyes widened as he caught sight of the other man's face for the first time. The clear plastic of the bite mask was deeply embedded in the skin around the stranger's face. 

No.

Jason’s breath caught.

Not embedded.

Sewn.

The edges were sewn into his skin with what looked like a thin wire. Where the metal bars that would usually be in front of his lips had instead been wound through them. Sealing them completely shut. The young man’s eyes glowed the same neon green as the Lazarus water. Eerily similar to his own eyes when the Pit rage took over; but brighter, almost incandescent.  His hair swirled in violent waves around his head as though taken by an unseen riptide, glowing white in the gloom. His skin was almost as pale as his hair; though the filth of the sewers had spread a disgusting film across his face. Jason could see the tear tracks that had sloughed off the dirt in ghostly pale streaks. 

The rumbling growl that Jason had heard was coming from deep within the man’s slender chest.  He could see the way the man’s jaw clenched hard as he strained to open his mouth against the tortuous contraption that was entrenched in his face.

He hoped, God did Jason hope, that the mask was a new fixture because whatever he had been trying to do, the young man jerked his head sideways and pawed ineffectually at the edges of the plastic. Clawed fingertips caught and held but weren’t able to pull the fucking muzzle off of his face. With a newly frustrated growl, the man changed tactics and looped a finger through the metal x’d through his lips and pulled. Jason couldn’t see where the electric shocks that started to spark across the mask came from. There didn’t seem to be any sort of electronics attached to the mask itself but wherever they had come from the shocks were enough to drop the man where he stood.

He was nearly covered by the sewage that he had fallen into, and Jason had years of training to thank for the fact that he managed to get out of the water before it became dangerously electrified. He scrambled up into the tunnel that the other person had emerged from while he tried to figure out how he was going to help this poor fucker without getting electrocuted for his troubles. After several long seconds Jason finally managed to reach out and snag the, hopefully rubber, tattered ends of the guys pants and dragged him up and out of the water with a grunting heave.

Jason curled himself away from the sparks that were still coming off of the guy.

Jesus.

Were the electronics in the man’s mouth?

It took several heaving breaths, nostrils flaring and chest racked with silent coughs, before the guy managed to get up on his knees and elbows. He rested his forehead on his fisted hands for several long seconds as they both tried to decide how best to handle the situation going forward. Green eyes slid over to him, and Jason felt a completely foreign crash of emotion sweep through him in a wave. The top notes of whatever this being was sending his way were aggressive!mean!GETAWAY! But underneath that was a wave of agonized terror that left him nearly breathless.

Jason held back a snarl of fear when he felt something shift in his chest and respond without his conscious permission. Something that felt a little bit like the Pit but a lot like when he was trying to sooth his siblings after a hard night. Safe…safe here. Jason slowly slid further down the wall and took a deep deep breath to try and calm himself down.

They both lay, covered in filth, as they tried to recover from the sudden cessation of violence and stared into each others eyes. “

So…uh Hood? You okay?”

Jesus, now he’d have to talk to Oracle about everything that had just happened in the space of several silent minutes.

No.

Worse.

He’d have to explain what happened to Da…Batman.

Jason let his head fall back against the dirty brick and groaned aloud.

Just his fucking luck .

[ohbabydollie]

omg heyy 🤭 ive only just found your blog but i absolutely adore your writing!! could i please request some housewife headcanons? ty <3

my ideal career is housewife but i js need to marry schlatt so i don’t have to worry abt money first 😔

taking care of him during streams!

bringing in water, food, anything he needs

he takes that chance to show you off to his stream, shower you in compliments before you head out of his office

he will literally take any chance he can to rub it into anyone’s face

“what am i eatin right now? it’s just some soup my WIFE made me, it’s whatever, she does it all the time” he says with a cocky grin

he loves home cooked meals and will asks for seconds constantly

he gets a taste for your cooking (and baking) to the point he doesn’t enjoy eating out as much

he loves that you basically can be around him 24/7 since he works from home and you don’t have a job

if he ever tries cooking for a stream, he’s struggling so hard

he gains so much respect for you if you make almost everything by scratch

if you take up a little hobby like baking or pottery or gardening

he.fucking.loves.it.

he shows off anything and everything you make

drinks from mugs you make, eats whatever you baked or grew and makes a point to tell everyone

“well ted, while you’re eatin’ your nasty ass rap snacks, i’ll be eating this” he says smiling and holding up a bowl of strawberries, “delicious, home grown, organic, non-micro plastic, strawberries, that my wife grew” he says with a satisfied smile “not to mention she also made the bowl, it’s bpa free”

hes literally such a dick to everyone about how he’s married to you

“i’m havin’ chicken n dumplins for dinner, they’re HOMEMADE by the way, not the nasty trader joe’s shit you gotta eat” schlatt says to ted with a grin “m’ wife is makin it all from scratch”

he says you “balance him out” with how sweet and soft you are

makes tradwife jokes all the time

he also likes making jokes about other people wanting you and actively brags about it

“we were a beach the other day and i saw men eyein her up, didn’t even care ‘cause i was the guy rubbin tannin oil on her back”

he loves buying you pretty new clothes, jewelry, makeup, etc.

he pays for you to get your hair, nails, etc. done

loves doing little things with you from grocery shopping to wasting time at a retail store

he says the cats got into something on stream and always comes back with light lipstick marks on his lips and face

looks for any excuse to kiss and touch you on camera

flirts with you even when you’ve been married for years

he only has eyes for you as you do him and every one knows

everyone can tell that even with the jokes he makes he loves you so much

[3liza]

tumblr live should not be this mysterious

the plug-n-play streaming package that Tumblr installed as "Tumblr Live" is a white label product from a company called Livebox (developed by the Meet Group, subsidary of Parshipmeet), who have a homepage riddled with spelling errors and purport to operate the dating apps Meet Me (formerly My Yearbook), Skout, Tagged, and Growlr, all of which appear to be identical except for Growlr, which is specifically for gay men. all of them are just dating apps with a livestreaming feature. i would venture a guess based on the architecture that Livebox is also powering Superlive, which is the only one of these I have any experience with. it's popular with camgirls outside of the USA, especially in countries where full nude camming is illegal.

i don't really understand what livestreaming has to do with dating apps and don't know anyone who uses these platforms for anything. i assume some of it is just sex work, some of it is just ad space, lots of data brokering, and judging by the performance issues the users complain about, possibly crypto mining(???).

looking through the app pages on the Play store shows the same reviews for every single one of them: app crashes constantly, bans are arbitrary, support is no help, the apps drain your phone battery suspiciously quickly, and there are about 20 bots for every real person profile. i dont know what the exact dates are because i cant see site analytics and dont know what the Live development schedule was, but it's interesting that the sudden increase in porn bot activity on tumblr seems to roughly overlap with the Tumblr Live development and implementation, at least from a tumblr user perspective.

i dont know where the strangers in the Tumblr Live bar are streaming from, in terms of what you would consider their "home network". im guessing, but it really looks to me like they are streaming on whatever familiar platform they've got an audience on, and then being split-streamed to Tumblr. i've been meaning to sit in one of the popular streams and check usernames of audiencemembers, because my guess is that most of the audience are not going to have accounts here either. many of the streamers ive checked do not have tumblr accounts. some of them have tumblr accounts, but most of those accounts appear perfunctory: only a few months old, completely impersonal reblogs from the trending tab (you know the type), instagram-type language and general aspirational influencer stuff, which absolutely does not exist on tumblr organically because this site does not have market share for sponsored products OR a userbase with disposable income, it's a waste of time for an instagram model type to post here.

i've tried to talk to these streamers once or twice about this stuff but didn't get anywhere, and it would be rude to press the issue. but that is probably the next step.

[queeranarchism]

I'm conflicted about the "this thing is so terrible, we just have to do SOMETHING" attitude.

On the one hand, it's often what brings new people to activism. Right now, a lot of people are coming in new to activism because they feel they must do 'something' about the genocide in Gaza. That's a powerful drive that we can't waste. A lot of those newcomers who came in to do 'something' have ended up doing effective activism or building movements capable of doing effective activism.

On the other hand, it's also possible to get stuck in the 'just do something' mindset. 'We have to do SOMETHING' often gets translated to 'we have to do whatever we can do quickly with the people and the means we have available right now'. So there is very little time to reflect on systems of power, to find the ways in which the systems that we want to change are vulnerable and to choose the most effective line of attack.

'Just do something' often means another protest that makes the participants feel something, but that doesn't change anything in the world because it wasn't well thought out and designed to achieve change. And when the 'something' is more destructive but equally lacking in thought and strategy, it's often equally useless. 'Just do something' vandalism is not better than 'just do something' protests.

The attitude 'we have to do SOMETHING' can also disrupt or derail actually effective organizing. Long term plans are dropped to create another quick symbol. People already burned out drag themselves to another urgent protest rather than spend time on recovery.

It can also be a mindset without an end. Those who spend longer in activism and have become better informed about international solidarity, will start to notice that there is always a horrible thing happening somewhere. The genocide in Gaza right now may be especially horrible, but there is a constant stream of innocent deaths that are hardly acknowledged by the media. If you look in truth at the impact of capitalism and imperialism, the horrors keep coming.

So it becomes possible to go from urgency to urgency endlessly, always making a statement and never making a change, until you are too burned out to continue.

So if "this thing is so terrible, we just have to do SOMETHING" brings you to your first activist thing: welcome! But beyond that: don't act on that urge too readily. Question what 'something' will achieve and what a slower but more thought out strategy might achieve instead. Doing something will bring short term comfort to your own sense of distress, actually achieving change will bring far more.

[kacievvbbbb]

The Donovan Desmond Theory

In light of the latest chapter.

Donovan Desmond is giving serious Reginal Hargreeves vibes.

But like if I had suspicions that he was a bad dude or at least is involved in some bad things then that’s been cleared up a little bit in the most recent chapters.

I don’t know if I fully believe Desmond is an alien like Melinda thinks I think maybe he has a non human quality to him (like say something like Anya’s powers) combined with his general lack of human understanding it seems I think him being an alien is Melinda’s explanation for what is happening (or you now chances are he could be one but so far the story has remained fairly grounded and so im inclined to believe it will stay that way)

But what I think is most liek let is that he is the one behind the scientific experiments that Anya, bond and probably a whole lot of other dogs and children were subjected to that gave them powers.

Also

Look at the scars on his head. This is just a little lower than where Anya’s comes (which i think are kind of connected to her powers or atleast covering up something connected to her powers) sit. And honestly they just look like brain experimentation scars.

So initially I thought maybe he was the founder of the experimenting giving powers organization looking for a way to perfect or gain powers but now I think that maybe he was one of the first kids to be experimented on. Maybe he was the only one/ one of the only ones/ the most successful experiment, to survive the process and so they make him the poster child of the project and he grows up within it and they are essentially the shadow organization pulling the strings and orchestrating his life. That would explain why he seems to lack so much proper human socialization skills and why he appears odd enough that Melinda thinks he’s an alien.

Or maybe the original organization fell apart in the lead up to the first war and now he’s rebuilding it to try and continue the work or fix what’s wrong with him but I’m inclined to believe he just believes in the work.

All this to say that I think Desmond can read minds like Anya. I think the boys and his family might be part of some side experiment he’s running to see if these powers can be passed down through dna and so he got himself (or the organization set him up with) a family. I think thats the reason he spent a lot of time up close and personal seemingly monitoring Demetrius and his progress. Trying to see if he would develop any special abilities. But he doesn’t and that why Donovan seems to lose interest in his family.

But I think during this time Desmond teaches Demetrius (without explicitly explaining why or what they are doing) how to be impervious to having his mind read I’m guessing incase Demetrius did show promise and would be brought into the fold, and that’s why Anya can’t read him but he seems to have internalized this as simply just not having a stream of consciousness. The only time we hear his thoughts is when he’s thinking about things in the abstract and that’s probably the key to it. He focuses soley on what he is doing right then in every moment and so thereby doesn’t mule anything over enough to have an internal conversation with himself he was probably taught not to “waste time pondering”anything and just to act when it is appropriate to do so, disguised as a very strange business lesson. As he was probably being very intensely instructed on this. But Demetrius shows no signs of any developing powers so Desmond kind of just pushes him to the way side which must have been jarring to suddenly be so unimportant to your father after so many years of such intense observation

Which is why I think Demetrius harbors anger towards his father and doesn’t understand him because what were the lessons for and why did they abruptly stop and why doesn’t anything he do seem to bring them back? But he never really investigates this deeply because the act of not pondering was instilled within him deeply.

So yeah. I think Donovan Desmond can read minds I would also kind of say him saying “this was a worth while evening” after sitting in silence with his family makes me feel like he just read their minds (those of which he could read) and got what he needed to. Which also makes me believe he is still running some kind of passive experiment on them and that’s why he doesn’t want Melinda to interact with Damian so much maybe he’s going the opposite route and seeing if neglect will allow the boys to awaken their possibly latent abilities. I don’t know man I’m just tapping 🤷🏿‍♀️ Donovan Desmond just has the look of someone that’s been experimented on whole Demetrius has the look of someone who withstood all kinds of psychological torture from a young age. Take all this with a grain of salt

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred 

Part 2

Summery: You secretly began preparing proper meals for Toji after the clan neglected him, risking everything to show kindness. One day, after cleaning his room, you delivered dinner, only for Toji to harshly reject it. His cold words were meant to protect you, but they left you hurt and tearful. Alone, Toji wrestled with guilt, realizing the risk you’d taken for him.

Word count: 1,9k

Warnings: Angst, a little cursing, Feelings of guilt ( idk what else TT)

Over the next few days, you entered the kitchen to collect Toji’s meals, already preparing on what you’re going to find. Just as you feared, the tray meant for him was filled with the same burnt, unappetizing mess as before. You couldn’t believe this was still happening, it wasn’t just unfair, it was cruel.

You glanced around the kitchen, making sure no one was watching, and then you quickly grabbed the tray and carried it to a quiet corner of the estate. Your heart raced as you tipped the disgusting food into the bin like you’ve been doing the last few days. Once it was gone, you hurried back to the kitchen, grabbing fresh ingredients with shaky hands. If you were going to risk everything, you might as well do it right.

With time you learned how to work as quickly and quietly as you could, you prepared a simple, hearty breakfast. Nothing fancy, but it was warm, flavorful, and made with care. You seasoned it lightly, making sure every element was cooked properly. The smell of the food brought a small smile to your lips—it felt good to be doing something worthwhile. Once everything was plated, you covered the tray and made your way to Toji’s chambers.

When you arrived, you knocked softly, but there was no response. That wasn’t unusual, so you opened the door cautiously, peeking inside. Toji wasn’t there. The room was empty, dimly lit by the faint morning light streaming through the heavy curtains. For a moment, you hesitated, unsure of what to do. You set the tray down on the small table near the window, making sure it was covered to keep the food warm.

With no sign of Toji, you decided to move on to your other duties. His room was in desperate need of cleaning—the bed was unmade, dust coated the furniture, and the floor looked like it hadn’t been swept in weeks. You sighed softly, rolling up your sleeves. If he wasn’t here, now was the perfect time to tidy up.

You started with the bed, straightening the sheets and fluffing the pillow before tucking everything neatly into place. Next, you swept the floor, carefully gathering every bit of dust and dirt. You wiped down the surfaces, polishing the wooden furniture until it gleamed faintly in the dim light. As you worked, you couldn’t help but glance at the covered tray of food, wondering if he would return soon and notice the effort you had put into his meal.

By the time you finished, the room looked completely different—clean, organized, and inviting. You stood back, admiring your work with a small sense of pride. Before leaving, you checked the tray one last time, making sure it was still warm and presentable. Then you quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door behind you.

Not long after you left, Toji returned. He pushed open the door and stepped inside, his sharp eyes immediately noticing the changes. The room smelled different—clean, fresh. His gaze swept across the space, taking in the neatly made bed, the spotless floor, and the polished furniture. It was a strong contrast to the chaos and dust he was used to.

On the table by the window, he spotted the covered tray. His brow furrowed as he approached it, lifting the cover slightly to reveal the meal you had prepared. The aroma hit him instantly, warm and inviting, and his stomach tightened with hunger. He knew this wasn’t the work of the other clan members. They wouldn’t waste their time or effort on him. No, this was you again.

Toji exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the meal. “How can she be so reckless?” he muttered under his breath. If anyone caught you doing this, there would be consequences. He wasn’t worth this kind of risk. And yet, the food smelled too good to ignore. With a faint growl of frustration, he sat down and ate, savoring every bite despite himself.

When he finished, he leaned back in his chair, his gaze drifting around the room once more. Everything was spotless. You had cleaned it so thoroughly, it almost felt foreign to him. He couldn’t remember the last time his space had been treated with such care. A strange thought crept into his mind: Why were you doing this? What could you possibly gain from helping someone like him?

The tray in your hands felt heavier with each step as you approached Toji’s chambers. Dinner had taken you longer to prepare tonight, not because the recipe was complicated, but because your nerves had been impossible to calm. After leaving breakfast for him earlier, you hadn’t seen or heard from him all day, and the uncertainty of whether he had eaten your food gnawed at you.

‘Did he like it?’

‘Was the food still warm when he arrived?’

With those thoughts swirling in your mind, you made your way to his chambers. The halls were unusually silent tonight. The quiet felt different, heavier somehow, as if the walls themselves were watching you. You shivered at the thought, shaking your head. ‘Stop it. You’re just nervous’ you told yourself, forcing your lips into a faint, reassuring smile.

But the prickling sensation at the back of your neck didn’t go away. It had been there for a while now, ever since you’d left the kitchen with the tray. At first, you chalked it up to nerves, an overreaction caused by sneaking around and worrying too much. But as you walked down the winding corridors, it began to feel…different.

Subtle, nearly imperceptible noises seemed to follow your footsteps, the soft creak of a floorboard, a faint rustle of fabric, the kind of sounds you wouldn’t normally notice. You glanced over your shoulder once, then twice, but the corridor behind you was as empty as it had always been.

‘Don’t be silly’ you scolded yourself, quickening your Pace slightly. ‘There’s no one there, You’re just imagining things’ Still, you couldn’t help but hold the tray a little closer to your chest, as if shielding it would somehow ease your anxiety.

It wasn’t unusual to feel watched in this house. You had long grown accustomed to the oppressive atmosphere, the lingering gazes of the clan members who seemed to scrutinize your every move. But this felt different. This wasn’t just suspicion or disdain. It felt…deliberate.

You told yourself again to stop overthinking it. ’You’re just nervous. That’s all this is’. But no matter how many times you repeated the thought, the unease refused to fade.

By the time you reached Toji’s chambers, the sensation had dulled, replaced by a rush of nervous anticipation. You shifted the tray in your hands and knocked softly on the door, your heart pounding in your chest. Is he finally back?

The door opened almost immediately, and Toji’s sharp eyes met yours. His presence, as always, was imposing, his tall frame and intense gaze making it hard to look him in the eye for too long. But tonight, there was something else in his expression something unreadable, as if he were assessing more than just you.

“…What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

“I-I brought you dinner,” you stammered, holding up the tray slightly.

Toji’s eyes narrowed, but instead of focusing on you or the food, his gaze darted past you, down the hallway. His entire demeanor shifted in an instant. His jaw clenched, his body tensed, and his expression darkened. You followed his gaze, but the hallway behind you was empty, just as it had been moments ago.

His eyes returned to you, hard and unyielding, and the tension in the air grew thick enough to suffocate.

You felt your heart sink as his expression twisted into one of anger—or was it something else? Disgust? You couldn’t tell. Before you could say anything, he spoke again, louder this time, his words cutting through the silence like a blade.

“I said it once, and I won’t repeat myself again. Take your fucking food and leave I don’t want it.”

The tray in your hands trembled as his words hit you like a physical blow. Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. He didn’t want it. After everything you had done, everything you had risked—he didn’t care, even though you were certain he liked it.

“I don’t need your help or anything from you,” he spat, his voice harsh and unforgiving. “Don’t you get it? Fuck off.”

You flinched, the sting of his words hitting harder than you thought possible. Your throat tightened, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not now. Not after this.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice trembling so much it was barely audible. “I thought you might like it. I won’t… I won’t do it again.” You bowed your head slightly, hoping it would hide your tears, and turned to leave, clutching the tray tightly against your chest.

Toji’s eyes followed you as you walked away, his sharp gaze lingering on your small, retreating figure. He shut the door firmly behind you, leaning back against it with a heavy exhale.

His fists clenched at his sides, the words he’d just spoken twisting inside him like a blade. He told himself he had no choice. If he didn’t act that way, whoever had been following you would’ve noticed, and then the clan wouldn’t have spared you. They’d accuse you of disobedience, of favoring him, and the consequences… He didn’t want to think about them.

Still, seeing the disappointment and hurt in your eyes, hearing the trembling in your voice as you apologized, it made his chest ache in a way he hadn’t felt in years. He rubbed the back of his neck, scowling at himself. “What the hell’s wrong with me?” he muttered under his breath.

Toji walked to the window, pulling back the curtain slightly to peer out into the hallway. He caught a glimpse of a figure moving away, a man, likely one of the clan members tasked with watching him. His suspicions were confirmed. They had been following you. His scowl deepened, his grip tightening on the curtain.

He let it fall back into place and turned away, his mind racing. The image of your tearful expression lingered, refusing to leave him. You were clueless about the danger, oblivious to how your kindness could put you in harm’s way. And yet, despite knowing all of this, you still kept coming back, still risking everything just to bring him a meal.

As he sat alone in the stillness of his now-clean room, the ache in his chest refused to fade. For the first time in a long while, Toji felt something he couldn’t quite name, a pang of regret, a flicker of guilt.

He wanted to tell himself he didn’t care, that your feelings weren’t his problem. But deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. You had been the only person in this place to show him even a shred of kindness, and he’d repaid you by shattering it.

For the rest of the evening, Toji couldn’t shake the memory of your trembling voice or the way you’d bowed your head in defeat. He told himself it was for the best, that pushing you away was the only way to keep you safe. But as he sat in the stillness of his room, the ache in his chest refused to fade.

Part 3??

Thanks for reading, likes and Reblogs are appreciated <3

[haartemis]

https://www.tumblr.com/lottins-only/768953075788644352/send-me-a-song-title-a-player-and-ill-write-a

little things ~ ella mai & jude 🫶🏼

little things - jude bellingham

A/N : got carried away and this ended up being longer than a drabble lol

the life of a final year university student during exam season is pure chaos. you're no exception: for the past couple days, you've been stuck in a loop of caffeine fueled days and long, sleepless nights. you've been so buried in exams and papers that you couldn't even go to your boyfriend jude's champions league away game.

you follow the match on a grainy stream from the library, and when he scores a beautiful goal, you jump from your seat so suddenly you startle the person sitting across from you.

you: YOU SCORED. so proud of you bby 💗

jude: thanks babe

jude: flight lands in about an hour. mind if i come straight to your place? you know i won't be able to sleep if i don't 😚

its true. the adrenaline after an evening game usually means a sleepless night for him. but that's not an issue when you're around. you have a calming effect on him, your mere presence in those times lulling him to sleep.

you: ofc. i'll be at the library for a couple more hours, but you have your key right?

jude: yupp.

jude: i’ll be there. make sure you eat something, yeah?

you: yes, dad.

jude: don’t “yes, dad” me. i mean it. i know how you get.

a couple of hours later, you trudge back home, exhausted. all you want is to curl up in bed with your boyfriend and sleep, but you can’t. the paper due at midnight, the one you thought you’d finish before leaving the library, is proving more difficult than you expected. so unfortunately you have to get it done before you can even think about resting.

when you unlock the door to your apartment, the sight that greets you makes you pause. the space that had been ground zero for your finals week chaos is now spotless. papers that were stewn all over the place, now organized neatly on your coffee table. the dishes that had piled up on the kitchen sink are washed and put away. floor swept, cat's litter box cleaned.

he's standing by the couch, airpods on, carefully folding your throw blanket. when he sees you there, his face immediately lights up. when you reach him, he pulls you into a tight hug and kisses your forehead, his arms wrapping around you like a shield. as always, being in his arms feels warm, grounding, and above all, comforting. it hasn't even been 48 hours since you last saw him, but it feels like you've been apart for weeks.

"you okay?" he asks softly, brushing a stray strand of curls from your face.

"no," you say in a panicked voice. "i’m not done with my paper, and it's due in like two hours."

"hey, it’s okay,” he says, squeezing your shoulders. "i can help... i think"

he says the last part cautiously, and you start laughing - but stop when you realize maybe he can help.

there's no time to waste, a couple moments later you sit at your tiny kitchen table, you on your laptop and him on his ipad , the same google doc open on each screen. your job is to write the actual paper, while jude does the citations.

“so, are we doing apa, chicago, or... something else?” jude squints at his phone with a confused look on his face, as if he’s reading a foreign language. you suppose for him it might as well be.

“chicago,” you say firmly, not looking up from your screen.

“got it,” he replies, setting his phone aside and rolling up his sleeves like he’s actually about to get his hands dirty.

and then you start working. for more than an hour the only sounds filling the room is the sound of keyboards clicking. jude works with the same focus and intensity you’ve seen from him when he plays football—brows knitted, his lips slightly parted as he carefully organizes the citations at the bottom of the document.

every now and then he mutters under his breath in a frustrated tone. “wait... is this a journal article or a book chapter? never mind, i got it.” or: “fuckin hell, who publishes something without a visible date?” each time, you answer without hesitation, grateful he’s doing the most boring, tedious part of your work for you.

at one point, your cat leaps onto the table and sits right next to jude’s ipad. he barely glances up, one hand absentmindedly scratching behind the cat’s ears while his other continues to scroll through a citation guide. it makes your heart swell, seeing him like that. superstar footballer who just scored in a champions league game mere hours ago, now sitting in your cramped kitchen giving your cat affection while helping write your essay. only jude. my sweet angle, you think to yourself.

“okay,” you announce finally, leaning back in your chair and stretching your arms above your head. “i think i’m done.”

“that’s my girl!” he exclaims, suddenly leaping up from his seat. before you can react, he picks you up from your chair, effortlessly lifting you into the air.

“jude!” you squeal, laughing as he flips you over and sets you back on your feet, his hands steadying you as he does.

you poke his chest, laughing. “couldn’t have done it without you.”

“obviously. who knew i was so good at this?” he kisses the top of your head. “think i'll charge you by the hour next time”

you roll your eyes at him, but inside you're just happy. happy to have submitted the essay, and happy you have jude as a boyfriend.

the stress of the night has melted away, and you feel a little lighter. you have an exam tomorrow at nine for a econ elective you regret not dropping, but there's no turning back now. all you can do is push through. in a couple of days, it will all be over.

with that somewhat encouraging thought in mind, you make your way to your bed, ready to pass out. and you almost reach it too, until jude pulls you back into the kitchen.

"you need to eat," he says sternly. he points to the takeout box sitting on the kitchen counter. "got that on my way here"

"i’m fine," you protest weakly as he heats up the food in the microwave. "i honestly just wanna sleep now"

"no, you’re not fine. you've barely eaten all day," he replies. when the microwave pings, he pulls out the food and plates it for you before putting it on the kitchen table, gesturing for you to sit.

you roll your eyes at him but comply. jude leans against the counter, watching you eat quietly, reassuringly. you can tell by his eyes he's tired too. undoubtedly drained from a physically demanding match, with the only sleep he's had since being a nap on the plane. yet here he is, prioritizing you above his own rest without a second thought.

“you didn’t have to do all this, you know,” you say in between bites. “cleaning, helping me with my paper... you should be resting.”

he shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “you’re more important. i’ll rest when i know you’re okay.”

his words make your chest tighten, and you have to look away. it overwhelms you sometimes, his kindness and thoughtfulness.

when you finish eating, you go over to the sink and wash the dishes. jude leans against the counter, arms crossed, watching. he tells you all about his trip: the surprisingly good airplane food, the awful water pressure in the locker room showers, the cute baby he'd taken a picture with at the airport on the way back. the mundane details he can't help sharing with you, his way of showing you even when he's away, you're the biggest part of his life.

afterwards, you both do your nighttime routine in companionable silence before crawling into bed. the covers are soft and inviting as you settle in comfortably. jude pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist as he settles behind you, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder that makes goosebumps rise up on your skin.

the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is jude's low, sleepy voice murmuring "finally"

in the morning, you're rudely awaken by an insistent shake on the shoulders.

“y/n wake up,” jude says softly.

you groan, burying your face deeper into the pillow. “five more minutes,” you mumble, still half asleep.

“you don’t have five more minutes,” he says, his tone shifting. “it’s 8.40. you’re gonna be late for your exam.”

that does it. you sit up so fast you almost get dizzy, the panic hitting you hard.

“oh my god!” you gasp, throwing the blanket off and scrambling out of the bed.

you quickly brush your teeth and get changed while jude, bless him, packs your bag for you. when you emerge out of the bathroom fully ready, he's waiting for you with your backpack, all packed and ready to go.

"did you—?"

he nods, his lips quirking into a small smile. “yeah. laptop, pens, calculator, everything. and here—” he tosses you an energy bar, which you catch clumsily. “ eat that on the way.”

"you're a lifesaver" you say as you slip on your shoes.

"go ace it, baby" he holds the door open for you while handing you the bag.

you pause by the doorway, giving him a grateful look. "thank you. again. you're the best you know, that right? all the things you do for me, it's just..." you let out a breath. "i love you so much"

he gives you a lingering kiss. "i love you too" he murmurs against your lips. "and i know you'd to the same for me"

he’s right. when he’s had a bad day, you’re at his place in no time, ready to listen if he wants to talk or to put on one of his favorite movies if he doesn’t. when he's craving it, you cook him his favorite meal. when your schedule allows, you ride with his driver to pick him up from training, just because you know he loves seeing you waiting for him. all the little things you do for each other, all the everyday acts of service. the sum of which is the way you show each other that you care, that you love one another. and isn't that the point of a partnership?

"i'll text you after i get out okay?" you murmur, giving him one last peck on the lips.

you pull your backpack over your shoulder and head out into the day, feeling ready as ever.

[xxelliewxx]

Fire and Frost {Ellie x Reader} Ch. 3

MDNI 18+ content

Pairings: loser!(AFAB)Reader x hockey player!Ellie

Synopsis: When y/n is requested to tutor Ellie Williams in organic chemistry, she expects arrogance and attitude from the hockey player. However, she discovers a different aspect of Ellie’s tough exterior, revealed through humor and fleeting glances. This raises the question: why does Ellie go to great lengths to embarrass and harass y/n whenever they are in the presence of others?

Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, sexual/physical assault, alcohol, violence, trauma (if I miss any let me know!)

w/c: 2.8k

an: this is my first time ever posting fanfic on Tumblr, so feedback is completely welcome! this is not proofread and is a work in progress.

Silicon Symmetry

As the clock struck 12:30, anticipation bubbled within you as you headed to your organic chemistry class, determined to confront Ellie and uncover the source of her unpredictable behavior. The emotional whiplash she was putting you through was overwhelming, leaving you feeling dizzy and disoriented. It felt particularly unfair, given that she knew how crucial it was for you to maintain your scholarship; her behavior appeared nothing short of self-centered. You chastised yourself for thinking she was anything but.

Determined to confront her, you hustled to catch up to the student holding the lecture hall door for you, stomping over to where the hockey player lounged, surrounded by her teammates, laughing and joking as if the events of the morning had never occurred. The sight stung, intensifying your frustration. She wants to be that way, fine, two can play that game. As you reached her combat boot-clad feet, you delivered a swift kick to her shin, drawing giggles from her friends. Cat tilted her head, a smirk playing on her lips, clearly entertained by your fury, which only ignited your anger further.

"What the fuck, Williams. Do you even care about anyone besides yourself? I can't believe I was foolish enough to think you were capable of anything beyond your own self-interest."

The brunette shot up at your remark, invading your personal space. "Here we go again, pretending you understand me. Let me make this clear, princess: I don't require your assistance, and I certainly won't waste my time on a loser like you."

Emotions swelled in your chest, and you felt a sting behind your eyes at her words. Her teammates erupted in cheers, one even giving her a congratulatory slap on the back as if she had just clinched a last-minute victory. You grabbed your iPad, bringing up the playful sketches the two of you had made earlier that day, the sound of her genuine laughter echoing in your mind. "If you're not interested in being around me, then why did you—"

You were abruptly interrupted as the iPad you had been holding shattered into fragments right before your eyes. Ellie's gaze, usually emotionless, now burned with an intensity of hatred that was unsettling. "Don't you dare approach me like this again. What gives you the audacity to even think you can look at me?"

Tears streamed down your face as you lost control, your hand instinctively shooting out to land a stinging slap across the captain's face, her head snapping to the side from the impact. In shock, you raised your hands to your mouth, a gasp escaping as disbelief washed over you, your eyes wide with astonishment at what you had just done.

Her eyes, once simmering with hatred, now blazed with an intensity that was almost palpable. Gripping your shirt tightly in her fist, Ellie lifted you effortlessly, slamming your back against the wall next to the doorframe. The force of the impact knocked the air from your lungs, leaving you gasping as you clawed at the hands that held you captive. "Lay a finger on me again, and I swear I'll end you."

You caught yourself shifting your gaze from her deep, forest-green eyes to the vivid crimson handprint emerging on her cheek. As you tried to find the right words, they eluded you, leaving your mouth agape in silence. Her eyes, shadowy and intense, revealed a flicker of vulnerability, a crack in her facade. Ellie seemed to carry a weight of remorse for what had just happened, yet her fingers clutched your shirt with an unyielding grip.

As she leaned closer, locking her gaze with yours, a rush of emotions surged through you. Then, just like that, she released you and settled back into her chair, leaving the other students wide-eyed and speechless. A wave of humiliation washed over you, making your stomach churn. In a flurry, you snatched your backpack and gathered the shattered pieces of your iPad, hurling the remnants toward the brunette before storming out.

Dr. Miller hurried from a faculty meeting, her beloved matcha latte spilling over the rim of her plastic cup as she dashed toward her classroom. A look of bewilderment crossed her features when she spotted you racing out of the lecture hall, and she quickly stepped in your path to halt your escape. 

Adjusting the items in her arms to free a hand, she softly rested it on your shoulder, her initial confusion giving way to worry. "Y/N, what’s wrong? Did something happen?" You shrugged off her concern, stepping back from her touch. 

"Dr. M, I appreciate that you believe in me, but sometimes what you see isn’t really there." With that, you turned away from your compassionate professor and hurried back to the apartment you shared with Dina and Jesse.

The October wind whipped against your tear-streaked face as you sprinted, its icy breath leaving your cheeks flushed and red. The humiliation you felt was unlike anything you had ever encountered. Sure, Ellie had pulled some messed-up stunts before, but this was a new level of cruelty. You were accustomed to her childish antics—tripping you or swiping things from your hands—but completely shattering your iPad was beyond the pale. 

 Your iPad was more than just a device for taking notes; it was your sanctuary, a place where you poured out your heart and soul. Without it, you felt adrift, a wave of despair crashing over you. Your hands trembled as you fumbled with the key to your apartment, the door creaking open with a reluctant groan. With a forceful slam, you tossed your backpack onto the kitchen counter and stormed into your bedroom. Sliding down the wall, you let out rough sobs that shook your entire body. 

Why me? What did I do to her to deserve this? Fuck you, Ellie Williams.

☾⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽☾⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱

You lost track of time as you sat there, tears streaming down your face, until a throbbing headache surged through you. Nausea clung to you as you finally pushed yourself up from the floor. With a heavy heart, you opened your bedroom door and shuffled to the kitchen sink, your hands quaking as you filled a glass with water. The refreshing liquid slid down your throat, but it did little to soothe the relentless pounding in your head.

After setting the glass down, your gaze fell on your backpack, anxiety creeping in as you realized you had no way to study for your calculus test without your notes. The absence of your iPad was a painful reminder of Ellie's relentless torment. Thankfully, Dina was in your calculus class, but the thought of borrowing her notes made you cringe; her note-taking skills were far from impressive. 

As you glanced at your phone, a few notifications popped up as you unlocked the screen. Dina had called you twice, and a flurry of texts from both her and Jesse filled your inbox, all laced with concern. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at their messages, a smile breaking through as you appreciated the care they both showed.

You pushed aside the notifications, losing yourself in the endless scroll of social media, desperately trying to avoid the nagging feeling of confinement that came from being without your journal. Suddenly, your thumb halted as you stumbled upon a post from your brother. It showcased a family gathering, a post-summer bash that had completely escaped your notice. The realization hit hard: you weren’t on the guest list. While it shouldn’t have shocked you, the sting of exclusion was still sharp, a painful reminder of how things had changed since last year.

Frustration bubbled up inside you, and you flung your phone onto the couch, wishing the intrusive thoughts would vanish. Staring blankly at the wall, you sank into silence, weighing your options. The clock ticked toward 2 PM, and soon Dina would burst through the door with Jesse, the inseparable duo who seemed to thrive on each other’s company. They were adorable, a fact that only deepened your envy, a feeling you weren’t proud to admit.

A soft knock at your door pulled you from your reverie, irritation creeping into your voice. "Seriously, Dina? Did you forget your keys again?" You rose from your seat and swung the door open, only to be met by an unexpected face. 

"Abby? W-what are you doing here?"

Abby Anderson, the assistant captain under Ellie, wasn’t someone you typically chatted with, making her sudden appearance all the more surprising. She offered you a gentle smile, which helped to ease the tension bubbling inside you. "Hey, Y/N. This might seem a bit out of the blue, but I heard about what happened in class today, and I wanted to come by and apologize."

Her words ignited a fire within you; why should she be apologizing for that worthless Williams? "Are you kidding me?" you snapped, fists clenched tightly at your sides, teeth grinding in frustration.

Abby quickly raised her hands in a gesture of peace, her voice rushing to calm you down. "I know what she did was fucked up, I am not denying that. I just want you to know it's not your fault, she's going through some serious shit right now and I really don't think she knows how to cope."

You shook your head at her words, "Abby, I'm not upset at you. I'm upset at her for not being a fucking adult and apologizing to me herself. And to be honest I don't really care what she has going on, that's no excuse to break my shit!"

Abby nodded, her expression understanding. "You're right, I don't disagree with you. I've known Ellie since we were in squirt league together, she's not an easy one to read and honestly I'm struggling to figure out where she's coming from. Nevertheless, she is my best friend and I feel the need to protect her."

Mulling over Abby's words, you let out a sigh. "Would you like to come in? I'm sure Dina wouldn't mind seeing you."

Abby smiled at your invitation, thanking you as she passed through the threshold of your apartment. This was her first time visiting without Dina, and she seemed a bit uncertain about where to settle. Sensing her hesitation, you gestured toward the couch in the living room while you retrieved a couple of beers from the fridge. "Feel free to sit there if you want."

As she took a seat, you cracked open a beer, taking a hearty gulp before offering her one. A burst of laughter escaped her lips. "You do realize it’s not even 3 PM, right?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, "who gives a fuck, it's Friday and I don't wanna think." Abby looked a bit worried at your response, placing her unopened can on the coffee table. You finished your beer, crumpling the can in your hand and tossing it into the recycling bin, already reaching for another. This wasn’t your usual drinking style, but you felt the need to escape, so why not? Fuck it.

Settling next to the hockey player, you glanced at her over the top of your can, raising an eyebrow at her amused expression. Abby chuckled and shook her head. "You’re nothing like I expected."

Laughing at her remark, you nudged her shoulder playfully. "Fuck you, Anderson."

A comfortable silence enveloped you both until she broke it again. "You really are doing her a favor, you know? She doesn’t deserve your kindness or your patience, yet you keep giving it. Why is that?" 

Trying to distract yourself, you fiddled with the frayed threads of your ripped jeans, pulling them apart and rolling them between your fingers. With a shrug, you replied, "I don't know, Abby. I guess I can't stand by and watch someone fail at something they've been working their whole life for."

Abby’s gaze fell on your troubled expression, a wave of sympathy washing over her. "Yeah, she really doesn’t deserve you." 

Her words carried a weight that eluded your grasp, complicating the situation far beyond your expectations. With a heavy sigh, you murmured, "Maybe I’m not worthy of her. There must be something I did to make her loathe me so intensely. If only she could see the real me, perhaps she wouldn’t wish I didn’t exist."

The blonde next to you appeared to be wrestling with her thoughts, finally reaching for her beer can and taking a long sip. After wiping her lips, Abby turned to you and said, "Hey, there’s a party at the hockey house tonight. Dina was planning to go and mentioned inviting you. You’ll have her to hang out with, but don’t forget about me. Hell, we did share a beer at 2 PM, after all.

You smiled back at her, clinking your can against hers. "Thanks, Abby." The idea of attending a party filled you with anxiety, yet something about the girl beside you made it seem like nothing could go wrong, so you found yourself agreeing to join.

As you chatted, Dina and Jesse burst through the front door, takeout bags in hand. The aroma of Chinese food wafted through the air, making your mouth water. It was common for you to skip meals until dinner, as morning and afternoon nausea made it difficult to eat. But when dinner arrived, it was a different story.

Dina greeted Abby with enthusiasm, clearly thrilled to see one of her favorite teammates. "Hey, Abs! Want to stay for dinner? We could carpool to the party!" She raised her eyebrows playfully, prompting a laugh from Abby.

"I appreciate it, D, but Ellie asked me to help set up for tonight. I was just about to head out," Abby replied, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder and flashing you an encouraging smile before crushing her can and tossing it into the bin next to yours. Dina observed the interaction and decided to bring it up while serving General Tso's chicken and fortune cookies, pouring your share onto a paper plate she had grabbed from the cupboard.

Jesse looked as if he were bracing for an explosion, casting nervous glances your way throughout dinner, which only served to irritate you. Setting your fork down with a clatter, you turned to him and said, "Can you please stop looking at me like I'm about to combust any second?"

A flush of pink spread across his cheeks, clearly embarrassed by his lack of subtlety. Dina rolled her eyes at him, giving his shin a swift kick from beneath the table, prompting a soft "ouch" to escape his lips. "Sorry, Y/N. I heard you had a rough day."

You shot a glare at Dina, realizing you should have expected nothing less from her, considering he was her boyfriend. Shoving a piece of chicken into your mouth, you tried to ignore him, grains of rice tumbling off your fork and scattering into your lap. Just then, Dina reached across the table, halting your movements and preventing any more rice from joining the mess.

"Y/N, I'm really sorry about her, only a few on the team actually find her shit amusing. We're gonna give her hell at practice tomorrow, don't worry. Abby even insisted on it."

The mention of Abby made your cheeks heat up, recalling how kind she had been to you. But that warmth quickly faded as you found yourself longing for that same kindness from another player, a frown settling on your face. "It doesn’t matter, D. Nothing’s going to change. Whatever I did to her is so unforgivable that she’ll never let it go. It’s just absurd; all I did was bump into her by mistake. Before that, I had never even spoken to her!"

Dina instinctively withdrew her hand, sensing your need for some distance after your emotional outburst. She wished she had the right words to comfort you, but the truth was, she was just as puzzled. Ellie was an enigma that everyone was eager to understand, and sometimes it felt like even Ellie was still trying to figure herself out.

"I'm sorry, Dina. I didn't mean to freak on you, I just can't stand this. All I want is to be her friend, but I can’t understand why she’s treating me so poorly." You absentmindedly pushed the chicken around on your plate, watching it scoop up bits of rice from the sticky sauce.

“Y/N, I assure you, you haven’t done anything wrong. No one deserves to be treated like this.” You turned to her, your frown deepening. “Let’s just forget about Ellie for tonight. She’ll be too busy with the party to even notice you. Plus, we’ll be right there to support you! It’s time to break out of that shell; you have so much charisma to share.”

A smile crept onto your face as you appreciated Dina’s ability to lift your spirits, grateful for her unwavering friendship during tough times. “You’re right, to hell with her! I’m getting wasted tonight.”

Jesse hooped and hollered, cheering in agreement. "Fuck yeah! Let's get crunk."

Dina chuckled, shaking her head at the two of you, a playful grin lighting up her face.

@liasxeatt

@vahnilla

[turtlesandfrogs]

Started the day by reading this article from the NY times, and I'm frankly, disturbed.

Some highlights:

"For decades, farmers across America have been encouraged by the federal government to spread municipal sewage on millions of acres of farmland as fertilizer. It was rich in nutrients, and it helped keep the sludge out of landfills."

Which I knew, and I knew that there were concerns about contaminants from like, the medications people were on. But human waste is part of the nutrient cycle, and it always made sense to me that it should be throughly composted and returned to agricultural lands, and I assumed that people in general were taking the steps necessary to make it safe.

But here's what I didn't know:

"The 1972 Clean Water Act had required industrial plants to start sending their wastewater to treatment plants instead of releasing it into rivers and streams, which was a win for the environment but also produced vast new quantities of sludge that had to go somewhere."

Which, yay, no longer polluting bodies of water, but now that means we're applying industrial waste water to agricultural lands. And have been since 1972. Which leads to this situation, among many others, I'm sure:

"The sludge that allegedly contaminated the Colemans’ farm came from the City of Fort Worth water district, which treats sewage from more than 1.2 million people, city records show. Its facility also accepts effluent from industries including aerospace, defense, oil and gas, and auto manufacturing. Synagro takes the sludge and treats it (though not for PFAS, as it’s not required by law) then distributes it as fertilizer."

So here's what some states are doing:

"In Michigan, among the first states to investigate the chemicals in sludge fertilizer, officials shut down one farm where tests found particularly high concentrations in the soil and in cattle that grazed on the land. This year, the state prohibited the property from ever again being used for agriculture. Michigan hasn’t conducted widespread testing at other farms, partly out of concern for the economic effects on its agriculture industry.

In 2022, Maine banned the use of sewage sludge on agricultural fields. It was the first state to do so and is the only state to systematically test farms for the chemicals. Investigators have found contamination on at least 68 of the more than 100 farms checked so far, with some 1,000 sites still to be tested.

“Investigating PFAS is like opening Pandora’s box,” said Nancy McBrady, deputy commissioner of Maine’s Department of Agriculture."

This is fun:

"The E.P.A. is currently studying the risks posed by PFAS in sludge fertilizer (which the industry calls biosolids) to determine if new rules are necessary.

The agency continues to promote its use on cropland, though elsewhere it has started to take action. In April, it ordered utilities to slash PFAS levels in drinking water to near zero and designated two types of the chemical as hazardous substances that must be cleaned up by polluters. The agency now says there is no safe level of PFAS for humans...

It’s difficult to know how much fertilizer sludge is used nationwide, and E.P.A. data is incomplete. The fertilizer industry says more than 2 million dry tons were used on 4.6 million acres of farmland in 2018. And it estimates that farmers have obtained permits to use sewage sludge on nearly 70 million acres, or about a fifth of all U.S. agricultural land."

There's more, but I wanted to condense it at least a little bit. I am glad we're raising awareness, and I'm glad we're starting to regular the amount in our drinking water, and I hope that we'll find a way to actually deal with PFAS. I am so frustrated that people are exposed in the first place, and in nigh inescapable ways.

Also, to all those people who were like, oh, organic isn't at all healthier for consumers? Guess what the organic standards don't allow to be applied?

[thefemmefatalexo]

Nanami SMAU - A Verdict of Us

Chapter 7 - Beyond First Impressions

Summary: Kento Nanami was perfect—disciplined, untouchable, and entirely focused on his future. Emotions didn’t fit into his plans. You were everything he avoided—bold, warm, and impossible to ignore. You told yourself he didn’t matter, but you couldn’t stop watching him.

He never looked your way. Not until the day his perfectly controlled world unraveled, and you were at the center of it.

an: i love them. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 6} ; {next}

taglist: @gigiiiiislife @getovibesonly @inthedarkshadows000 @burpzz @sleepykittyenergy @fuzzycollectiondeersblog @meganbaby

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Nanami adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves as he glanced at the clock on his desk. It was 9:15 AM, just enough time to leave and make it to the community center by 9:45. Punctuality wasn’t just a habit for him; it was an expectation. He hated being late. Still, a part of him wondered why he had agreed to this at all. Volunteer work was not something he typically did, but when you had asked—so insistent, so sure he’d secretly enjoy it—he found himself unable to say no.

He made his way to the hallway, pulling on his shoes with practiced efficiency. The soft hum of conversation from the kitchen grew louder as his parents noticed him preparing to leave.

“Nanami,” his father’s voice came first, sharp and questioning. “Where are you going?”

“To a food drive,” he replied evenly, not looking up as he tied his laces.

“A food drive?” His mother appeared in the doorway, her arms crossed as she surveyed him. “Why? You’re a law student, not a volunteer coordinator. What purpose does this serve?”

Nanami rose to his full height, meeting her gaze with calm detachment. “Not everything has to serve a purpose.”

His father let out a disapproving scoff. “Time is a resource, Nanami. You’ve always been disciplined about how you use it. Why waste it on something like this?”

“Time spent helping others isn’t wasted,” he replied curtly. His parents were intelligent people, but their view of the world often felt limited, measured in tangible gains rather than intangible impacts.

His mother’s expression softened slightly, though the tension in her tone remained. “It’s just… unexpected. You’ve always been focused on your goals. This seems unnecessary.”

Nanami met her words with silence. There was no point in arguing further. Grabbing his bag, he moved toward the door. “I’ll see you later.”

He left before either of them could respond, his steps steady and purposeful as he made his way to the community center.

The moment he stepped inside, the atmosphere shifted. It was a flurry of motion—tables lined with donations, volunteers chatting as they sorted and packed food into neat bags. The noise was different from the usual silence of his library job or the precise discourse of a lecture hall.

And then he saw you. You stood near one of the tables, your face lit with excitement as you waved to him. The smile you wore was bright enough to compete with the sunlight streaming in through the windows.

“You made it!” you said as you walked over, your voice bubbling with enthusiasm. “And on time, too. I’m impressed.”

“I said I’d come,” he replied, his tone steady, though he couldn’t quite ignore the slight warmth in your expression.

“Fair enough,” you said, hands on your hips as you gestured toward the tables. “Come on, we’ve got work to do. Ready to roll up your sleeves?”

He followed you without comment, and soon the two of you were stationed at a table sorting canned goods. It was simple, methodical work—exactly the kind of thing Nanami excelled at. His movements were efficient, his rows of cans stacked neatly.

“You’re pretty fast at this,” you said after a while, glancing at his organized piles compared to your slightly messier one.

“It’s straightforward work,” he replied, his tone dry as he eyed your less-than-perfect stacks. “Unlike yours.”

You gasped in mock offense, placing a hand over your heart. “Are you criticizing my organizational skills?”

“I’m observing,” he said, his smirk barely visible but unmistakably there.

“Careful, Nanami,” you teased, narrowing your eyes playfully. “That almost sounded like a joke.”

“Almost,” he admitted, his voice calm but lighter than usual.

As the minutes turned into hours, Nanami found himself surprisingly at ease. The work, though repetitive, was oddly satisfying. And then there was you—chatty and energetic, your humor keeping the atmosphere light. It wasn’t something he was used to, but he didn’t mind it.

A child approached then, holding a box of cereal. The boy looked up at Nanami with wide, curious eyes, then glanced between the two of you.

“Are you two dating?” the boy asked innocently, his voice cutting through the hum of activity around you.

Nanami froze, his composure momentarily slipping as the question hung in the air.

You, on the other hand, burst out laughing, quickly covering your mouth as you tried to stifle the sound. “No, no, we’re not. But that’s a very sweet question,” you said, your tone warm as you crouched down to meet the boy’s gaze.

The boy shrugged, apparently satisfied, and wandered off, leaving Nanami still standing stiffly.

You straightened up, turning to him with a grin. “Relax,” you said, nudging his arm lightly. “He’s just a kid. You look like you’ve been accused of a crime.”

He exhaled slowly, the tension easing from his shoulders. “He caught me off guard, that’s all.”

“Noted,” you replied, your grin softening into something gentler.

By the time the food drive ended, the sun was low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the street outside. You wiped your hands on a towel and turned to him with a satisfied smile.

“It’s getting late,” he said, his voice steady but quieter than usual. “I’ll walk you home.”

You blinked in surprise, then smiled. “Really? Thanks, Nanami.”

The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a while, the quiet of the evening settling around you. As you passed a small ice cream stand, you stopped abruptly.

“Wait. We need ice cream.”

“Do we?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” you said, already stepping toward the stand. You didn’t wait for his answer, quickly ordering two cones. Handing one to him, you grinned. “My treat. Consider it a thank-you for volunteering.”

He took the cone with a small nod. “It’s good,” he said after a bite.

“Of course it is,” you said confidently, as though there was never any doubt.

As you walked, you began to talk about your volunteer work in other countries—building schools in rural villages, helping at medical camps, organizing clean water initiatives. Your voice grew animated as you described the people you’d met, the lessons you’d learned, and the challenges you’d faced.

Nanami listened intently, his ice cream forgotten as he took in your words. He’d always assumed you were a privileged socialite, someone who flitted from one frivolous event to another. But now, he saw a depth to you he hadn’t expected.

“You’ve done a lot,” he said finally, his tone thoughtful.

You shrugged, glancing at him. “It’s important to me. I’m lucky to have the resources, so why not use them to help others?”

He nodded slowly, his respect for you growing in a way he hadn’t anticipated.

When you finally reached your building, you hesitated for a moment before turning to him. “There’s a charity event next week. My parents are hosting, but it’s for a good cause. You should come.”

“Another one?” he asked, his tone wry but not dismissive.

“Yes. Consider it practice for networking,” you said with a teasing smile.

He thought for a moment, then gave a small nod. “I’ll be there.”

Your smile widened, radiant in the soft light of the evening. “Great. See you then, Nanami.”

He watched as you disappeared inside, then turned and began the walk home, the faint taste of ice cream still lingering on his tongue and your laughter echoing faintly in his mind.

[leebrontide]

A legit way to fight the climate crisis from where you're sitting right now

As promised, in honor of Earth Day, I've written some suggestions for how you can write a letter to the editor for your local paper, and reach some people who otherwise might get a more...shall we say restricted view of climate news. Letters to the Editor remain a surprisingly important political vehicle. People see letters to the editor and they feel like they're hearing from their neighbors- real people with authentic, down-to-earth agendas. They're the second most read part of the paper, after the front page. Take that stage!

Step 1- Pick an article in your local paper to respond to. Today is Earth day, and lots of papers will have at least something about climate crisis or environmental protection on it's pages. Local papers are better, because, as you can imagine, papers like The New Yorker get a lot more submissions to compete against, and anyways they don't have the same sense of local opinion.

Don't fret if your local paper leans conservative! That means it has readers we REALLY need to reach! And they may be more open to reading about these issues in a paper than online, which particularly a lot of older, don't feel like "the real world".

Step 2- Figure out what you're going to say! Maybe there's a glaring error in the article you want to address. BUT, if you're not sure, you can look up your local organization that's fighting for these goals. For example, I could look up and find MN350, because I'm in Minnesota. Going to their social media and their webpage/newsletter archive gives me an inside look at what people who are really immersed in these subjects have to say about what's going on.

So, for example, I see that my local group applauds Minneapolis's efforts at going to all clean energy, and has a timeline, but that people on the inside are saying that without a dedicated funding stream, people implementing these changes will have to either hope federal funding stays stable or fight for funding in the city council every year. Ok, now when there's an article about Minneapolis's plans, I have something to say.

Step 3- Draft it up.

The goal here is to be short and to the point.

Opening line: Identify which article you're responding to, and maybe your feeling about it.

First paragraph: What is the specific issue? What is a relevant fact and why does it  warrant public concern?

Second paragraph: What would you say that we do in response, or what would you ask your neighbors to do?  Why?

Third paragraph: What is currently being done to address the issue and how could people who have been persuaded act?

This should be no more than 150 to 250 words TOTAL.

While you're wording it, some things to keep in mind- stats and facts are good, but don't use a lot of acronyms or jargon. Expect your readers to be coming at this with about an 8th grade education.

If you have a sense of what the people you're talking to find persuasive, lean into that. For example, for my letter to the editor, I emphasized that chaotic funding leads to lack of ability to plan ahead or bulk-buy. I know the people I'm talking to like things to be common-sense and detest governmental waste, so that's an easy one.

If you want extra help, I have a list of best practices for communicating about the climate crisis right here.

Step 4- Proofread, then submit it via whatever process your local paper has. The goal, if you can manage is, is to submit something within 48 hours of the original article's publication. That's the sweet spot for most papers.

BONUS ROUND!

You did that, and still have a little energy for the environment left? There's one more thing you can do to super-charge your effort!

Guess what, you can stack the deck in favor of your specific letter being published.

But it will involve using a phone.

That's right, if you REALLY wanna turbo boost this thing, you're gonna call the paper (or have your non-phone-adverse-friend or family member pretend to be you and call the paper).

Call as soon as possible after the editor would have received the material.

Use pleasant persistence to speak with the right person. Don’t stop at a receptionist or secretary. Create enough POLITE urgency about your letter that you get through to the specific reporter or editor who will decide whether or not to print your piece.

Provide the editor with specific local info and urgency. Focus your conversation on why this issue is relevant to their readers.

Get specific feedback and/or a specific commitment from the reporter. If they don’t want to print the letter, find out why and what adjustments you can make to get it printed.

If they agree to print it, find out when you can expect to see it in the paper. The you can tell other people. Even if memaw isn't a big climate activist, she might show your letter to everybody she knows if she knows you wrote it.

And that's the process! I know that's a lot of information to throw at you, but ultimately, it can be pretty quick to crank these things out. And, again, these have been proven to be powerful persuaders. We need as many people as we can to be in this fight, so go and get them!

And always remember, you're not just combating ignorance, you're combating hopelessness, helplessness, and burnout! You can inspire people to think about what's possible.

PS if any of you actually do this, please let me know. It'd make me so happy.

@onbearfeet @basil-gardens @punkypine @rederiswrites @veritatemquarens @radioraja

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Rage

[A/n:Mortal kombat brutality style 😈😈😈. I got this idea after seeing the Orin thingy when she takes Gale.]

Summary:Orin was nothing compared to your fists

Type:Scenario:?: Gale X M!Tiefling!Reader

Version:Bg3

~

The anger filled you so quickly as you watched Orin twitch and snap back into her original form. Gale no longer infront if you.

"What did you do to Gale..." A shiver ran down your companions' spines at the tone of your voice.

Orin snickered, a dark look forming on her face. It only made you want to punch her face in.

"Nothing to bad...yet, once I get back I-" She didn't get to finish her sentence as your fist came in contact with her face.

A sickening crunch filled the room as your fist came in contact with her nose, completely shattering it. She didn't have time to react as you punch her again, and again, and again. You didn't stop or slow down, your tail stiff and twitching behind you as your clawed fingers stabbed into both of her eyes, crushing the soft organ instantly. She screamed, yanking your hand away from her face. Blood streamed down her face, covering her skin and the ground below. You didn't waste anytime, headbutting her while she had a grip on your wrist, your horns scrapped against her skin, tearing at her flesh. Another punch to her face and she stumbled against the wall. Another scream left her mouth. Holding her face as she stumbled away from you, tripping over chairs and bumping into the desk. Pure rage was radiating off you, causing your companions to step back.

"God damn, Soldier!" Karlach laughed, finding this disturbing yet amusing.

You didn't even process her words, storming over to Orin. Your hand grabbed her hair, yanking her head back so far her veins started showing on her neck. If you tugged any harder her neck would've snapped, or tore her hair out.

"Where's Gale?!" Orin punched you weakly, attempting to get out of your grip blindly.

"To hells with you! I'll send you there myself!" Orin Wouldn't be better just telling you. She could feel your rage, even blind she felt superior in this moment.

Another scream left her mouth as you tore her hair from her scalp, a patch of her skin tearing with the blood. A deep growl left your throat as she tried to leave again. Rising your hand, claws out, you grabbed at her face, your claws digging into her skin as you tear the skin from her face. Another scream, louder, more pained.

"Tell me!" All you got was a cry and a tremble as she started chanting something.

You grabbed her jaw, crushing it in your hand. Her chanting was silenced quickly, another cry of pain as you punched her again. She fell to the ground, hastily looking for something to use against you, yet with her eyes crushed and oozing from her sockets, it was way more difficult than ever before. She grabbed a letter opener just as you yanked her back up. Swiftly, she stabbed you in the eye, well, tried to, she just barely missed, stabbing your cheekbone instead. A hiss left your throat, letting go of her temporarily. She shoved you to the ground and dashed away from you, raming into a chair then into a wall. She stumbled, turning around and moving her head as if it'd let her see again. You growled, running at her. Fortunately for her, she dodged.

"I'll kill you!" She ran at you, clawing at your face, which only made you grab her wrists and crush her wrist bones under your grip, twisting her hands the wrong way before twisting her around and slamming her against a desk.

"I won't ask again. Where. Is. Gale." Another cry and a hiss.

"Fuck you" Orin hissed out, her broken jaw making her words slurred and disoriented.

She managed to shove you off her, turning to you and summoning a summon to fight you. You charged at her, lowing your hand and aiming your claws straight at her stomach. Before she could react, your hand went through her stomach, tearing the Armour away with your other hand. A sound if gagging was heard from shadowheart and a wheeze from Orin. Your hand twisted in her, gripped her spine before tearing it from her stomach, snapping the bone as you pulled it out from her stomach. You stepped back, spine clenched in your hand, breathing heavily as Orin took a few steps before collapsed on the ground. Everyone was silent, horror on their faces. You reached down and grabbed Orin, tossing her over your shoulder, spine still in hand as you started walking.

When you found where Gale was being kept, all it took was dropping Orins body on the ground and a glare for them to release Gale. You took the body home with you, just in case. Yet your body was stained with her blood, you reeked of blood. It was so strong your companions couldn't be around you, even Astarion.

~

[A/n:Hehe...I might have gone to far with it, but you know what. Orin needs a good ass beating. I hope you enjoyed]

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: none

Word Count: 1621 words

a/n: thank you, thank you, thank you so much for all the love and support thus far!! 🥺 seeing all my notifs blew my mind and I'm in absolute awe!! it has really given me the motivation and I can't wait to share the next chapters with you! as always, feedback is really appreciated, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3 :)

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Chapter 2

Life changed for you, in the best way possible. Your memory from that night was blurred and indistinct but with the help of new friends, you recovered soon after.

At first, when you awoke, you were in what could only be described as the most cosy and homely bed you had ever slept in. It felt like a soft, fluffy cloud and you hadn't had a goodnight's rest like that in a long time. You even remembered the dream you had - it was the first time you and the boys moved in together and spent a week and a half organizing and making it feel like home. However, as you came to, your moment of bliss was cut short when you peeled your eyes open and became aware of the throbbing sensation in your head. It felt like you had run straight into a wall by accident because you weren’t seeing where you were going, and your forehead experienced most of the impact. 

As you tried to zero-in on your surroundings, you suddenly felt a light touch to the top of your head, gently massaging it. In a moment like this, you would immediately jump into defence mode but in the matter of a second, your headache eased. You looked up to see who it was, ready to counterattack if necessary. However, you were met with a welcoming smile, bright as the sun from a blonde hair, dark brown eyes man. 

Chan or Bangchan as he introduced himself, approached you carefully. He didn’t want to alarm you, only deciding to touch your head to ease the pain he knew you were feeling. He moved to sit on the chair a little far from you. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you. But…where am I?”

You were in the human realm. When Chan told you this, you almost fell out of your bed. Actually, you did because your response to this new piece of information was screaming what and then proceeding to lose balance and roll off. Chan tried to catch you but you already landed on the floor with a loud thud. While he helped you back into bed and check to see if you were okay, two boys barged in followed by two others. 

In specific order according to Chan reprimanding them, Jisung and Changbin were the ones with the frying pans and Seungmin and Hyunjin were the ones who strolled in nonchalantly. Jisung attempted to explain that he thought Chan was in trouble and didn’t want to leave it to chance. 

Over the next few weeks, you spent a lot of time at Chan’s place with his seven soulmates, all of whom became your closest friends. Chan specifically, became what you could only coin as a best friend, as he was the one you sought out for the most. He was warm and welcoming, and you felt comfortable around him. He teased you constantly, calling himself your knight in shining armour. 

He explained he found you floating on a log barely conscious and wasted no time in bringing you back with him and seeking help for you. In addition, he revealed to you that he and his seven mates were wizards thus how he healed your headache instantly. Since he shared his origins, you thought it was only fair to disclose who you really were. Chan had no different response, his kind nature continuing to flow like a calm stream. He revealed he knew when he saw your tattoo on your arm, but it made no difference to him. Although Jisung was a little apprehensive, he also quickly warmed up to you when you baked a batch of cookies that he could only describe as heavenly and delectable. Minho joked that the best way to befriend Jisung is through his stomach. And it worked. 

As you saw the way they cared for another and their domestic nature with light-hearted jokes, your heart broke in two because it reminded you of your soulmates. You wondered a lot about your eight boys.

 Did they care where you were?

Were they looking for you?

Chan noticed the way you watched out the window in the late evening, lost in thought. Unbeknownst to you, Chan witnessed your sleepless nights. He sensed your discomfort and so, he would weave a shimmering of stars thereby, allowing you to calm down and dream pleasant dreams that were close to your heart - just like the one you had before you awoke. He couldn’t read your expression and he refused to use any magic to read your mind. Honestly, he didn't want to pry but at the same time, he wanted to help more than anything because he saw himself in you. 

He chose to wait until you were ready to tell him. And finally you did. 

“I have eight mates,” you began, “But I’m not sure if they love me anymore.”

The both of you sat at the quaint table setup in the balcony (courtesy Hyunjin) one afternoon as the sun set on the horizon and the sky became an orange and red hue with the breeze blowing briskly, and the indistinct yet busy chatter of the city below you. You held a warm cup of tea in hand and a soft and silky fleece covered you. You recounted your story and how lost you were feeling. 

And then he told you his.

“At the age of 11, every wizard in training is expected to take a national test that would determine where they will go in terms of schooling. The Academy was considered "prestigious" for the wizards who learnt quickly while the College was for those who didn’t, to put it mildly. When I ended up at the Academy, my parents were thrilled. But the pressure from having to be perfect in everything felt like a weight bringing me down. What made it worse was the prejudice that went on inside the Academy. At first, I thought it was what I wanted because it was all I ever knew but then, when I befriended Jisung, who attended the College because he wasn’t the biggest fan of studying, I realized there was so much more to life than what I was being taught. He introduced me to Minho who actually went to the Academy, yet we never met because of the bubble I was living in. Ultimately, it didn’t sit well with my parents. They wanted me to do exactly what they had done and befriend those who were in the same circle. And then after a lot of arguing, I decided that wasn’t the life for me. I wanted to explore more of the world and find out what I liked. So, after I graduated, I moved here with everyone, and opened the bookstore and the apothecary shop. And it was the best decision I made.”

“You weren’t scared?”

“Oh I was, immensely. I can’t tell you the number of times I talked Minho’s ears off about all my doubts. I think he considered feeding me to his cats at one point…” 

You laughed heartily at Chan’s retelling of events; it was the first time you had laughed so authentically.

It amazed you at Chan’s valiant and courageous spirit. Despite his fears, he still went ahead and did what he wanted to do. 

He soothed the doubts in your mind, “It’s never wrong to want something different. Love is more than just a desire we have. It's also about caring for one another. If they truly love you, then they will support you in your dreams just as you have theirs.”

You hadn’t thought of it in that way. 

He asked if you wanted him to open a portal to go back home. You thought about it, but for the first time in a long time, you felt this bubble in your chest of overwhelming possibility. You felt alive and you felt like you could do something — anything. 

So you stayed.

You took a job at Chan's bookstore at first, mainly to start earning money. While assisting Chan, you noticed the way he had a skip in his step every time. Without a doubt, it was distinctly clear that he loves what he does. It left you in awe and admiration. He moved effortlessly attending to customers. Though he noted that not everyone would always be kind, you were more than entranced in doing something similar like him. You would deal with the unkind people as they came.

After saving up enough, you enrolled in a short course at a university with a one-time downpayment. Slowly you found yourself working towards a goal of yours. 

You wanted to start a business like Chan. 

It took a lot of time and effort and you had no idea how Chan and the others were able to do this. You asked Chan if he ever used his magic, he said no, only if necessary but he pursued all of his studies as any human would.

According to him, it would make you feel more accomplished.

And with time, it did. But that was only after you got through the one too many pity parties you had for yourself when things got tough. Luckily, Seungmin, Felix and Jeongin felt the same and joined you, so you weren’t left alone to wallow by yourself. 

With the support from your newfound friends and others you met at university, you began to create a good life for yourself — wherever you were living. Minho said it is a city called Seoul.

Six months later, you opened your café recruiting some of your friends - Jisung, Beomgyu, Yuri and Stella. 

This was the beginning of a whole new life just for you.