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borgorbelly · 2 years ago

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Happy New Year! (part two)

‘All that matters is that (y/n) is safe’ he thinks to himself.

(y/n) stirs lightly in his arms, cuddling closer into his chest.

The warmth in Rick’s chest unleashes a range of emotions in him. His initial instinct is to melt, there’s nothing he would love more than to curl up with them and make the most of the short time they will have together before (y/n) goes back to their normal, unrelenting, bitchy self.

As he sets (y/n) down on the couch in his hidden oasis of relaxation, he smacks himself in the head as hard as he can without causing any permanent damage. There will be no allowed softness from him. There is no good reason for him to lose his edge. To lose his unwavering asshole persona. It’s better this way.

The less people who care about you the better, because fewer people would be upset if anything bad were to happen. Even more so because it’s less people to have to worry about disappointing.

He’d always tried so hard to not care about others, and for a while he was successful. He’d found a way to turn that pesky empathy switch off. However in his later years it’d become increasingly harder to not reflect on his mistakes, possibly the biggest of all being his lack of compassion and empathy for others as well as everything that had stemmed from that.

Rick gathers the most cozy blankets he can find, not because he cares about (y/n). More so because he doesn’t want to deal with them whining about being cold. As he tucks (y/n) in he makes sure to keep them propped up on their side. There’s no reason to risk choking on vomit. He doesn’t need another issue to worry about, getting rid of a body is just more effort than it is to keep (y/n) on their side.

After searching through the playlists on his phone, he decides on a very “vibey” (as summer would call it) playlist. While adjusting the volume so that it plays lowly in the background, he attempts to spark a poorly rolled joint.

Fucking Summer and her stupid friends don’t even know how to roll a decent joint. Why must I do everything myself?

Rick pulls out a tray to unravel the joint, and grabs a pack of papers to re-roll with.

His oversized hands make it hard for him to perform the kind of delicate motor skills it takes to roll a pearled joint, but he could still roll better than whatever shitfuck teenager rolled it the first time.

After successfully rolling, those monstrous hands lift the joint to his lips and with a satisfying click he sparks a zippo lighter.

Hours pass as (y/n) sleeps off whatever the hell they ingested.

I’ll have to interrogate (y/n) for details once they‘re more lucid.

(y/n) stirs lightly in their sleep, almost as though half awake.

Standing up from his favorite recliner, Rick inches closer to inspect the situation. He finds himself lost in analyzing (y/n)’s features. their bone structure must have been carved by whatever omniscient creator actually exists. He almost wondered if he had done it himself.

Suddenly, the beautiful brown eyes in front of him flutter open. Those golden brown pools nearly consume Rick entirely.

“since when do you get so close to people?”

There’s that sass he hates to love.

“I-I thought you stop- .belch. stopped breathing.. y-you aren’t sp- .belch. special”

(Y/n) knew, though. Unfortunately for Rick he was easy to read, seeing as they are basically a younger version of him.

“god my head is fucking pounding.. you want to share that joint?”

“F-fine. B-but don’t get the wrong idea. This is just because I'm already s-so fuc- .belch. ffucking drunk already”

Rick finds himself giggling. That Venusian wine really snuck up on him. so did the Floopfloopian’s version of whiskey. And that joint was just the icing on a (now) very cross faded cake.

(y/n) plucks the joint from between Rick's fingers.

“Rick, which kindergartner rolled this?”

This offends Rick. He tried hard to roll well but having large hands really does make it more difficult.

“You try having giant sausage fingers. When you can attempt to work with something so delicate and be successful then you can talk but until then your comments are nil.”

(y/n) snorts at his sausage finger comment. But internally this only fuels a primal desire for him. Imagining those fingers leading to something even larger causes an electric shock to course through their body starting between their legs and shooting outward in every possible direction.

“I could have chode fingers and I'd still roll better than this. I swear people act like pearling it is so hard but it's really not”

The arrogance in (y/n)’s tone drives Rick mad in the best way.

As (y/n) puffs on the joint Rick retrieves the Venusian “wine” and Floopfloopian “whiskey” he’d been treating himself with prior to his unexpected guest’s arrival. He certainly hadn’t planned on ringing in the new year with the next door neighbor but hey, the more the merrier? Or whatever the fuck non grumpy people say.

Rick pours himself a glass of the wine, offering some to (y/n) despite not actually wanting to share.

“Rick, can I ask you something?”

Great. His least favorite question.

“W- .belch. what’s up?”

“I don’t need to know where we are, I do however need to know if you get a tv signal down here? Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper always host the best NYE specials.”

Phew, possible crisis averted.

“H-h-how about TV from a dimension where Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper can actually d- .belch. drink on air this year? In ours they have to be sober because of how f- .belch. fucked up Cohen got last year.”

“Sounds perfect to me!”

While Anderson and Cohen bantered in the background Rick and (y/n) found themselves locked in conversation unable to turn their attention to the tv. Seeing as they were pretty similar personality wise it really wasn’t a shocker they got on so well.

The only thing able to pull them from the conversation was overhearing the countdown in a brief lull.

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Happy New Year!

“Happy New Year Rick! What are your goals going into this year?”

Between the wine, whiskey, and joint*, Rick found himself feeling earnest.

*along with the fractal dust cocktail he’d been nursing in his cybernetic augmentation’s IV system.

“Y-y- Y’know (y/n) most of the time I don’t have the nerve to be anything but an asshole. It’s easier to make people hate you than it is to worry about whether or not they like you. I don’t know about you but personally I’d rather know for sure that people hate me than be constantly wondering if i’m being perceived positively. Life is too short to be concerned with others’ opinions so i just say fuck it and do as I please. I’ve been doing that for most of my life and it’s really starting to catch up with me- at least mentally.”

This shift in Rick’s attitude catches (y/n) off guard. Who was really talking? Was it actually Rick or just another sick trick by him to throw (y/n) off for some unknown reason.

“To be honest Rick I can’t tell if you’re bullshitting or not. But on the off chance you’re being serious, I don't think it’s ever too late to learn self awareness and work on improvement if that’s what feels right to you. I can’t tell you that you have to do all that but I don’t think it could hurt. It sounds like you may be feeling a lot of guilt surrounding that behavior. In my experience the only thing that will make that guilt feel less icky is doing the work to change what’s causing it. It’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good all the time, but holding yourself accountable and noticing when you fall back into negative thought processes/actions/etc. is necessary. The first step is noticing the toxic behavior, the second is making the necessary changes.”

The air between the two hung heavily. Not necessarily in a negative way, more-so in the way a deeply personal topic tends to.

“You know Rick, just because we do bad things it doesn’t always mean we are bad people.”

“Come talk to me when the majority of your entire life is you doing bad things”

Taken aback, (y/n) ponders in silence wondering what the appropriate thing to say would be.

“I don’t know the whole story of course, but not everything is so black and white all the time. I feel like you should give yourself more credit”

Rarely did he find himself speechless, but Rick couldn’t come up with a zinger this time. He couldn’t fathom a way to ha ha himself out of it or brush it off or pretend like he wasn’t being the most honest he’s been in decades.

The weight of the conversation sinks in like a blanket over the pair, tucking them in nice and snug.

“I’m not proud of a lot of the things that i’ve done and said, but i don’t know how to not be uncomfortable or how to catch myself when i get so caught up with what i’m saying before i can even think about it most times”

“You put in the effort, it’s as simple as that. If you say something you regret, you correct yourself, you apologize and accept the consequences of how you have made the other person feel. It can feel embarrassing to apologize, to have been in the wrong, but that embarrassment is great motivation to do better. Don't you think?”

Rick let out a hefty sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, his brows furrowed.

“You aren’t wrong. You want some ice cream?”

(y/n) couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the delicious treat, despite it being a cheap avoidance tactic.

“I’d love some Rick, thank you.”

“It’s from the Gloppy Drop system, so even though it’s vanilla the flavor packs a punch.”

“Interesting, I’ll be the judge of that.”

“No, like literally that’s the point of the ice cream, the dropulites have far inferior taste buds so their food has to do the work for them.”-

(y/n)’s eyes widen as they take their first bite of the splendid creamy deliciousness Rick had handed them.

“Last things I’ll say about this- it’s never too late to try to be better. Effort is what matters. Now what else do you have on this TV?”

As the two finish their ice cream and settle in on the couch, tired glances are exchanged. Taking each other in slowly, in patchwork, their eyes meet on more than one occasion. There are no words necessary, each meeting of the eyes exchanges so much more than silly little earth words ever could.

Happy New Year! (part one)

With Beth, space Beth, and Jerry spending time on space Beth’s satellite apartment, and Summer and Morty partying in the safety of their own home, Rick felt a minor sense of relief this NYE. Though minor, the weight off his chest was massively rewarding. not that it was a reward he deserved.

Finally he could have some much needed time to himself. Time to torture himself for all of the mistakes he’d made in the past year.

A sudden knocking on the garage door startled him out of his trance.

“G- .belch. Go away!” he raised his voice over the music coming from the house

The knocking continued, pounding harder the longer he ignored it.

“Rrrrick? Pleaseeee open uuuup, itsssss (y/n)”

He pondered whether or not to open the door. It’s not that he doesn’t like (y/n) its that he actually does. Or is at least starting to. That was the main issue.

He was not willing to find another weakness to attach to himself. The last thing he needs is yet another thing that any one of his numerous enemies could use against him.

But his curiosity always happened to get the best of him when it came to (y/n). There was something about them that called oh so alluringly to whatever kind of soul Rick had left.

Reluctantly, Rick opened the garage door. In the time it took to fully open Rick had regretted opening it, then recanted as soon as he saw the state of (y/n).

They were disheveled, to say the least. Not that he cared, but it was unsettling. They reminded Rick of himself in his younger years, determined, incredibly intelligent, and generally better than most other people. He didn’t enjoy it when they weren’t well.

“I, I don’t feel well Rrrickkkkk” (y/n) slurred, stumbling towards him

“W-w-woah there how much d- .belch. did you have to drink?”

“I- I.” (y/n) paused, their brows furrowing.

Their eyes pled for Rick to understand, their body failing to work with them to accurately portray the situation.

“I- think roo-“ they gag violently leaving them to fall forward.

Rick leaps forward to catch (y/n) before they smack the ground face first.

“What was that?” He picks (y/n) up cradling them as if they were no more than a half asleep child.

“Roofie” Rick’s blood began to boil.

Drugs that incapacitate you are fun, but only when it's consensual.

“We’re gonna head a couple floors down in the garage. D-d-d-don’t worry too much about the details (y/n) it’ll be cool”

#happy new year! short #rick and morty fanart #rick sanchez fanfic #rick sanchez fluff #rick and morty #rick sanchez #just shake that ass bitch and let me see what you got #rick sanchez x reader #prick sanchez

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eilonwiiy · 4 years ago

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All That Glitters

Summary: A fluffy Safi/Merik one-shot set in the Bookends verse.

Inspired by this ship meme ask: Who tries to start role-playing in bed? Answer: Safi, but it only ends in a fit of laughter. Safi is a terrible actress and they both know it.

Ships: Safi/Merik

Read on AO3: here

* . * . * . * .

Safi adjusted the sequined torture contraption plastered to her thighs for what felt like the hundredth time since she shimmied into it. It wasn’t really meant for torture, but when something dissolved the use of her legs and made her feel like a sausage casing, torture didn’t seem so a far-reaching.

This was supposed to be sexy.

She tried shifting her thighs, glued together by sweat, to no avail. She was beginning to think that maybe she had gone about this the wrong way. A mermaid seemed like the obvious choice when the idea had popped into her head. Merik had a strong connection to the ocean, having grown up in Nubrevna, and for as long as she’d known him - which, granted, wasn’t very long - he’d find any excuse to talk about his years spent sailing and adventuring on the high seas as a boy. But now, with legs tightly gift wrappped in shimmering spandex, it seemed stupid to have eliminated, in her most humble opinion, her best features - if only for the supreme discomfort she was in. Her boobs weren’t faring much better. The vinyl shell-shaped monstrosity strapped across her chest would soon become a permanent fixture on her body if Merik didn’t turn up soon. This was, of course, for him after all.

It wasn’t that things had grown stale in the bedroom. Quite the contrary. Safi found herself spending more and more time with Merik than ever before. Skipping her morning classes was becoming all too much of a habit to the point where her sociology professor had personally reached out to her by email asking if everything was alright. Embarrassed, Safi had quickly replied thanking her for her concern and assuring her that she was ok. More than ok (though she’d left out the finer details as to why in her response).

And yet.

She couldn’t help but feel as though something was out of place. Between him and her. They hadn’t had “the talk”. Yet. And as Merik had proven on more than one occasion that he was just as maddeningly stubborn as Safi, they never would. But that didn’t stop her from having many long-winded and, ultimately, unproductive talks with herself. She was growing discontent with the one-sidedness of it all, especially when she was all too painfully aware of what she was thinking. She wanted to know what the real Merik was thinking, not the fantasy version she carried around in her head all day - the one that wanted more than the whatever they were doing now. Because on the days she opted out of her morning class, she wasn’t hanging around for just a tumble in the sheets. I mean, that certainly wasn’t a deterrent. Merik was living up to every bit of expertise he’d so boorishly boasted when they’d begun dancing circles around each other. But that wasn’t all there was to it anymore. Most mornings when her cell alarm woke her up after spending the night, the desire to stay tucked against Merik’s chest and wrapped in his arms far outweighed doing anything else, and in the last week, she was almost positive she’d picked up on his reluctance to do the same. This was highly unusual. When they’d first started hooking up, he’d be showered, dressed, and halfway through eating a banana - what he called breakfast, the barbarian - all before she’d even hit the snooze button on her alarm the first time in a long series of snoozes. Now, all of a sudden, Merik was following her alarm’s example and snoozing right alongside Safi. Not so long that he missed class - he hadn’t gone through a complete personality transplant - but enough that Safi awoke to a thoroughly eye-opening ‘good morning’.

Which was exactly why she was laying across Merik’s bed, her bottom half squeezed into the glitziest mermaid tail Amazon had to offer with her top half covered in plastic seashells and glitter like a beach craft project gone wrong. The plan had seemed sensible enough: if they tried something new in the bedroom, then perhaps it would inspire him to try something new outside the bedroom. Like, eat bacon and eggs for breakfast. Or try role-playing as something else. Her boyfriend, perhaps.

Under such a premeditated salacious scenario, it all sounded so childish now, but it was too late to back out. With a look of determination setting on her sparkly face, she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder and adjusted her boobs with renewed commitment. Tonight, she would initiate and complete. She wasn’t entirely confident that she’d be able to get herself out of her tail without Merik’s help anyhow.

She hadn’t come over mermaidified. Kullen had let her in, eyeing the multiple bags of supplies hanging from her arms warily and having the decency to listen to her rambling explanation without question when the plastic leaf garland she planned on using as a vine of seaweed flopped out of one of the bags. About ten minutes later, he announced that he was heading over to Ryber’s and wouldn’t be back until late tomorrow. Smart man.

Safi stared at the bedroom door, a perfect beached mermaid, waiting for her sea captain to walk in and ravish his scaley catch. Yes, this was good. This was not at all insane.

5 minutes went by.

Safi wetted her lips, resisting the urge to roll off the bed and refile through her makeup bag. It would be just her luck for Merik to walk in as she was reapplying a fresh coat of lipgloss. It wasn’t worth the risk. He’d be too distracted by the fish tail replacing her legs to notice that her lips had lost their sparkly sheen from two hours ago anyway.

Another 10 minutes went by.

These sequins were going to leave permanent indentations in her ass if she didn’t move soon.

25 minutes.

His last class was supposed to have gotten out over an hour ago! Where the hell was he?

30.

That’s it. She was going to text him.

Then, suddenly, the door swung open and there was Merik, his dark hair tousled wet and his cheeks rosy, like he’d gotten caught in a snow flurry on the way home. He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Safi, his hand gripped around the door knob. She had turned to stone the moment the door clicked open. With her torso twisted and arm strained backwards frozen in midair as she tried to acrobatically reach for her phone from the nightstand, their eyes met.

It took Safi several beats of stunned silence for her to remember that she had lines. She jolted as though breaking out of a spell, the room filed with the rustle of sequins and (fake) pearl necklaces draped around her neck clacking against each as she gyrated back onto her side, all the while Merik still stood rooted in the doorway, his face bafflingly expressionless for a man who had just unsuspectingly walked in on a mermaid floundering on his bed.

Safi took a single deep breath and began…

“Oh captain, my captain,” she recited in a musical lilt. “To be caught in one’s net is but my kind’s greatest fear. But to be caught in a gaze such as yours, I cannot say. For it is a forbidden love we swim around. I dare not say what would happen to me if I were discovered in the arms of a land dweller for it is too gruesome to even imagine… but I know of a place where no one can find us. A secret lagoon that only I know of. Where the water is warm and… and… what are you looking at??”

Merik’s eyes were narrowed in a deep frown. Somewhere in the midst of her opening monologue, his attention had shifted to the rest of the bed and - more importantly - not her.

“This place is covered in glitter,” he said bluntly, looking around the room.

Safi blinked, momentarily stunned. “What?”

“There’s glitter. Everywhere,” he emphasized, still too engrossed with the contents of his room to even spare a look at her.

A shock of disbelief robbed Safi of speech for a moment. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, I’m serious,” he said, running a mystified hand through his hair and brushing the tip of his boot on a spot on the carpet that was no doubt fertilized with glitter. He scowled. “I’m going to have to burn this place down.”

Safi’s mouth puckered open and close, fittingly, like a fish. Heat flashed through her - and not the kind she was hoping he’d ignite from this encounter.

“Better start with the bathroom,” she jeered snidely.

At those words, Merik’s gaze finally snapped to her. His brown eyes widened half a fraction and, without a word, he bolted from the room. Safi listened for the telltale sound of the bathroom light being switched on and a smugness flitted across her pursed lips when she heard the satisfying gasp of horror that instantly followed after.

Angry footsteps sounded from outside the room and Merik reappeared.

“It looks like Tinkerbell was murdered in there,” he accused, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. From her spot on the bed, she could see the red flush creeping up his neck that she had come to know so well from their many heated arguments - and the exhilarating reconciliations that followed. He planted his hands on his hips and stood over her like an angry parent. So not the role she was hoping he’d be playing right now.

“Safi, what the hell is going on?”

“Relax, Tink’s fine.”

“Safi.”

“What do you think is going on?” Safi hissed, sounding more like a murderous siren than the seductive mermaid she had planned on. Strangling him sounded just as pleasurable as sex at the moment.

“I don’t know!” Merik half-shouted, throwing his hands up. He looked Safi up and down in earnest for the first time since he walked through the door. Underneath the irritation radiating off him was genuine confusion and he struggled for his next words.

“This… is weird,” he finally landed on. His hands dropped to his sides and his shoulders slumped a little. He stared into Safi’s eyes clearly hoping she would say something, but she wasn’t in the mood to let him off the hook. Not when she could feel angry tears prickling at the backs of her eyes. This was such a stupid idea. What had she been thinking? She was an idiot for thinking she could pull this off. Before Merik, she’d hardly had any experience with anyone. Besides Caden.

Ugh, she mentally harrumphed. Chiseled Cheater. Just the thought of him set her on fire. Why after that trainwreck she’d entertained the fantasy of attaching herself more exclusively to another brainless cow was beyond her. Something was truly wrong with her.

When she didn’t say anything, Merik let out a rough sigh. “Safi, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing!” Safi snapped, breaking from her thoughts and suddenly finding her voice. Merik eyes widened.

“You don’t have to say anything at all,” she continued in a coldly polite manner, raising herself up. “I’m leaving. Have a good night.”

Safi flipped onto her butt and began to scooch across Merik’s bed, digging her bound heels into the mattress to pull herself forward and propping her top half up with her hands. She knew how undignified she must have looked, but she kept her chin held high, ignoring the way every piece of her ensemble made an ungodly amount of noise with the effort of her movements. Just get up, she screamed at herself inside her head. Just get up and get out and you’ll never have to see him ever again for as long as you live.

But she did want to see him. And she hated herself for it.

That was the last thought she had when her feet touched the ground, for when she stood and tried to take a step forward, she toppled onto the floor.

And then Merik was on the floor with her, his face rippling with full-bellied laughter. She’d never heard him laugh in such a way, so free and uncaring. It would have sent her heart soaring if not for the not so minor fact that her humiliation was its cause. Before she did something stupid, like grab his face and kiss him senseless, she reminded herself of that fact, then peeled her upper half off the floor and sent a venomous look his way.

“Merik, I swear, if you don’t stop laughing, I’ll-”

But what Safi would do, they never found out. Because when she tried to get back onto her feet, she’d fallen right back down and Merik crumpled into a heap on the floor dissolving into hysterics and clutching his stomach.

“Stop laughing!” Safi cried, but either Merik couldn’t hear her over his own howling or he didn’t care. The thought of the latter only made Safi angrier and with a strangled sob she tried to pull herself up by the bed sheets, wishing to get as far away from Merik Nihar as possible and forget that she’d ever met him. She’d give him an unflattering nickname and forbid Iseult from speaking his name ever again.

But then, without warning, she was in the air. Strong arms wrapped under her knees and around her back. Before she could protest, she was being gently lowered onto the bed, and the next moment, Merik had her caged underneath him.

He wasn’t laughing anymore.

Safi felt the tear that escaped the corner of her eye and slid down her temple before she could stop it. She looked away, blinking unseeingly at the ceiling and huffed in frustration. His face was drawing closer, so close that she could feel the warmth of his lips on hers. And then, he paused.

“You’re acting real crazy, you know that?” he murmured huskily.

An indignant sound burst from Safi’s throat and was immediately swallowed by his mouth.

It wasn’t this first time Merik Nihar had rendered Safi speechless. Sometimes it was with his stupidity. Other times with his bullheadedness. And then there were times when he kissed her and stole the very air she breathed.

This was one of those times.

The sound of his deep exhalation the moment after their lips met was the only thing that nudged Safi’s lungs to back life. The kiss was slow and deliberate and the arm still underneath her tightened its hold on her while the other kept himself propped up as to not crush her. There was something incredibly sexy about the way that coarse wool of his jacket brushed against her bare skin with every roll of his head and Safi wished not for the first time that evening that her legs weren’t bound. She cupped his face in her hands, dragging him closer, and finally he relented and lied down on her properly, the silken slide of their lips growing hotter, deeper. In a matter of seconds he had every nerve-ending inside her crackling to life.

The moment he stopped she wanted to grab him by the collar and yank him back down to her, but she restrained herself, too caught up in the softness of his eyes. He smoothed her hair back from her flushed forehead, fingers bumping over the seashells among the waves as he peered down at her. She had a feeling he wasn’t going to be the first person to break under the silence.

“I’m not crazy,” she finally said. Although her voice was soft, a familiar defensiveness rang through.

The corner of Merik’s mouth curled up. “I didn’t say you were crazy,” he countered, continuing to gaze down at her fondly. “I said you were acting crazy. Care to tell me why?”

Safi pressed her eyes shut and breathed in deeply - or she tried to. The combination of the constrictive nature of her outfit and Merik’s lower half pressed deliciously against her was making it hard to breathe at the moment.

When she opened her eyes he was, unfortunately, still waiting for an answer. She sighed.

“I just wanted to try something… new.”

Merik’s brow arched.

“In bed.”

“Oh.”

There was a pause. Safi willed her cheeks not to burn up. She focused on the masculine bump of his throat and watched it slowly bob up and down as he swallowed.

“Are you… bored?”

“No,” she was quick to answer, unable to stop herself from looking at him when she said it to assure him that it was true. Relief softened his eyes, but his expression turned serious again a moment later.

“Are you unhappy?”

Safi’s heart thrummed against her breast, too powerful for even the bra so tightly bound to her chest to tamp down. For a moment she lost herself in his questioning eyes. The color on his cheeks gave him a boyish glow. She could lie. End this now and walk away in whatever humiliating capacity her mermaid tail allowed. Roll, hop, slither across the floor like a garden snake - whatever. The point was she would never have to face that feeling ever again if she wanted to.

“I’ve never been so happy with a man before in my life,” she confessed instead.

Surprise flickered across Merik’s face.

“So, naturally, I tried to change everything.”

Merik broke out into a chuckle, his eyes brightening with that rare smile of his that Safi was coming to adore so much, and his hand, which had been frozen for some time, resumed caressing her hair.

“By turning into a mermaid?” he asked, amused.

Safi nodded and Merik shook his head ruefully. He pulled away slightly and peered down. “How would this-” he gestured back and forth between their lower halves “-even work?”

A watery laugh broke through Safi. “I don’t know!” she moaned covering her face with her hands, embarrassed, but finally able to appreciate the absurdity of it all. Merik began laughing too, the sound soothing her jangled nerves, and he gently pulled her hands away so that he could see her.

“Did you have a costume for me?” he teased.

“You brag so much about that damn boat of yours I assumed you had one stashed away somewhere.”

“It’s not bragging. It’s talking,” Merik corrected evenly. He arched his brow. “Where’s Kullen?”

Safi rolled her eyes. Even with her half-naked underneath him he still couldn’t help his thoughts from wandering to Kullen. She knew she shouldn’t judge. She was the same way with Iseult afterall, but really, come on.

“He’s far, far away at Ryber’s.”

A wolfish grin spread across Merik’s face and to Safi’s surprise said, “Good,” then leaned into her and found that sweet spot between her neck and shoulder with his lips. Safi’s heart faltered.

“Seriously?” she breathed, arching into his touch nonetheless.

“You did go through all the effort,” he murmured into her skin, kissing a path along her collarbone. His hand traced a line down the middle of her chest, leaving a happy trail of goosebumps in its wake. His fingers spread along her ribcage, a searing handprint on her skin, and his thumb slipped under her bra, brushing the underside of her breast. A shiver ran through Safi. Hell-gates, it was going to hurt like hell when the time came to rip those seashells, but holy shit it would be worth it. Possessed with an urgency to anchor herself she plunged her hands into his thick hair and cradled him to her.

“Plus,” he said between kisses, “I don’t mind trying new things. Here or… wherever.”

Safi’s hands paused. She’d never know if he felt the flutter of her heart under his lips, but he lifted his head to gaze up at her from her bare collar. His dark eyes smoldered with meaning and somehow Safi knew what he was saying. They always did understand each other best when they kept their mouths shut.

“Really?” she sniffed, careful to put on an air of indifference. She may have been voluntarily bound beneath him, but she wasn’t about to give herself away entirely.

“Really.”

They held each other's gaze for a moment, then Merik’s face slowly lit up with a lopsided grin. Safi tried to contain the smile breaking out across her lips, halfway succeeding. It was enough for Merik, though, and pressing a tender kiss upon her chest, he returned to his exploration of her neck. She let her head fall back and a breathy sigh passed through her lips, fingers curling in his hair, only to be cut short by a startled gasp when he nipped her earlobe rather boldly.

“A little advice for the future, domna?” he said in a low voice, and her traitorous body stiffened at the seductive dominance honeying his words. His breath was hot against her ear as he took an insufferable pause no doubt for dramatic effect.

“Play to your strengths.”

In one graceful move, Safi pushed him off her and rolled him onto his back so that she was on top of him.

She planned on doing just that.

#the witchlands #safiya fon hasstrel #merik nihar #safik #safi x merik #bookends #bookends verse #the card catalog #my fics #mine

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years ago

Text

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 29)

She shoos Sokka away before her father can make a fuss. She has to give the boy props, he handles it with the twinkle of humor that she expects from him, “I’d climb out the window, but you know…”

Azula rolls her eyes. “Just hurry back to the other cabinet and pretend like we didn’t spend the night together.”

“Oh yeah, because we got real raunchy with Katara sleeping over there.” He wriggles his brows.

She nudges him.

“How about this, how about we just walk out of this cabin and pretend like I just knocked and asked if you were awake yet?”

“But father…”

“Still over thinking things? Guess it’s good to know that some things are still the same.” He takes her hand. “Come on.” She lets him lead her out of the cabin. “Besides, I don’t think that your dad will get too angry over something so small.”

“I suppose, not.” She pauses. “It’s Jet that we have to worry about.”

She tightens her grip on his hand, if only for the sake of doing so. Two weeks in and she still feels as though it is some kind of illusion, just like those phantom sails. Maybe if she grips tightly enough she will be reassured that he is real. She is sure that someone would have told her if she were just talking to herself this whole time.

“Can we sit in the shade?” Sokka asks.

“I like the sun.”

He points to a few remaining blisters and the discolored patches of skin.

She rolls her eyes. “Sorry, I forgot that you have baby skin now. Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to say good morning to father.”

.oOo.

Sokka finds himself the shadiest spot on deck and peers out at the rushing waters. The day cloudy and somewhat cool, a few seagulls zip by. He looks at the ocean, its waters are calm. He almost calls for Azula to come back. Instead he balls his fists and forces him to stare at the waves. She will be back soon. But not soon enough, he can tell that she is having a conversation with her father.

He thinks of approaching Zuko and Katara, but they are much too close to the railings for comfort. Even if they weren’t, Zuko has his arm slung over Katara’s shoulder and they are doing that thing again...the thing where he gazes down at her and she looks up at him and their eyes sparkle.

Katara has made a very clear rule about this. Even after so long away he can very clearly hear her whining, “stop being annoying and overbearing! When I’m with Zuko, we need alone time.”

He doesn’t have such rules with Azula. He is fine with Katara intruding and he thinks that Azula finds humor in Zuko walking in on them locking lips. His expressions are usually exaggeratedly humorous.

Though he thinks that circumstances might have changed. He can’t imagine her brushing him off at the moment. She turns around and her expression brightens. “Sokka! You’re awake!” She turns back to Zuko. “Can you go check on breakfast? Sokka usually likes it first thing when he gets up.”

Zuko nods and makes his way below deck while Katara comes and finds a spot next to him. “Why don’t you come and sit at one of the tables?”

“Too much sunlight.”

“Too much sunlight?”

Azula sniffs. “Hasn’t he told you yet?”

Katara’s brows furrow. “Tell me what?”

“He found an island full of vampire chimps and one of them bit him.”

“They would have never bit me!” He throws his hands up.

“So it was the mosquitoes then?”

“Vampire mosquitoes?” Katara crinkles her nose.

“He had a really rough time.” Azula shrugs. “Come on, just sit in the sun for breakfast and then we can go hide in the cabins. I’ll even sit in front of you and block the sunlight.”

He bursts out laughing. “I think that, that only works if the one blocking the sun is taller than the one being shielded.”

Azula’s eyes narrow and she half pouts, “fine. You’re on your own then.”

He stands up and brushes his hand against her cheek. Heaven knows that he missed this kind of banter, missed that pout, those eyes. Missed Katara’s soft giggle. More than anything though, he is thankful for one more small reassurance that she hasn’t changed too much, even if she seems to have matured several years in the span of a few months. “Alright, we can sit at the tables for a bit.”

She gives a smug smile and hustles him towards the tables. Ten minutes later he is thrilled to see a plate of eggs and a sausage patty. And the good homemade kind too, not the cardboard tasting hospital sort.

“Not so fast!” Katara reaches for his hand. “Your doctors said that you should still eat slow, your body is still…”

He sighs, “in starvation mode, I know.”

.oOo.

She catches him glaring from across the boat. She doesn’t have to look up to know that he is. It is quite a palpable feeling. Normally she request a polite, ‘can you perhaps knock it the hell off please?’ Instead, she looks up from her plate and asks, “why don’t you come sit with us, Jet?”

“So I can watch the two of you getting all...” he shudders and sticks his tongue out like a child.

Azula rolls her eyes. “We really should talk. All three of us.”

“What’s there to y’all about? You love him more. He’s back. I was just a placeholder.”

“You weren’t just a placeholder.” Azula assures as gently as she can, albeit she isn’t a particularly gentle person. “I really was planning on moving on with you. Taking you to the homecoming dance…” she trails off, realizing too late that it would only make things worse to prattle on about what could have been.

“In other words, I’m the second choice?” He stands. “Got it. Because that’s much better.”

Louder than necessary, he pushes in his chair and makes his way towards the cabins. Azula inhales deeply. She supposed that she should just be thankful to have Sokka again. She’s rather lose Jet to hurt feelings than Sokka to death.

“He’ll come around.”

“I hope that he does.”

The sulk in his posture puts a tint over Azula’s happiness. The cabin door closes rather noisily.

“Well that was dramatic.”

“Shut up Zuzu.” She snaps. “You’re pretty dramatic yourself!”

“I’m sticking up for you!”

But it was she who made the first cut. She who did the hurting and heart crushing. “You shouldn’t.” Is all that she says. “I don’t need you to.”

“Whatever.” He grumbles. “I thought that you’d be in a better mood once Sokka got back.”

Azula’s mood plummeted further. “I am.”

Sokka laughs, “you’re really selling it.”

Her expression must be betraying her, or maybe it is that she is gripping her cup and peering into it as though it has some sort of answer, because Sokka’s laughter fades and his expression changes from one brand of soft to another. He rubs her back, between her shoulder blades just like he used to. Like he had the day her mother died and like he did when they stood before the coffin for one final viewing. Azula wishes that she hadn’t gone to it. But she knows that it would do her mother no justice if she shied away from her at the last moment.

“Geez, I didn’t think an expression could get any darker.” Zuko mutters. “And you just called me…”

Katara lifts a hand. “Not now, Zuko. What are you thinking about?”

“Nevermind.” Azula mutters. “I’m going to go give father a break from steering.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Sokka #Sokkla #Zuko #Katara #Zutara #Jet #Ozai #Fanfiction

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thesausagequest · 5 years ago

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Tonight, we dine in Hell

It has been a while since I sausaged. This isn’t the fault of anyone reading, I have merely taken a sausage sabbatical. It’s maybe your fault, I don’t know you. Is it? That’s disappointing, I have done nothing to you sausagely, as far as I know.

Regardless of whose fault this is and isn’t, I recently joined a surprisingly fragrant friend of mine, let’s call him James, because everyone else seems to, and journeyed to Camden Market in search of nicepipes. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Camden Market, going there at 2pm on a Saturday is as good an idea as saying huh, what’s Pearl Harbour up to, should we just really fuck it up for a bit?

These are the crowds.

An intractable morass of people who can’t walk in straight lines, and whose spatial-awareness is roughly equivalent to that of the Hindenburg. I am hitting the disasters hard today and I don’t know why but stay with me and we’ll see what happens.

Our target was a sausagery of some acclaim that has a stall in the market. I’m not sure if that was already apparent, I am not your sense of perception. Unless I am. In which case, yikes for you.

Having shoulder, elbow and, in James’ case buttock-barged our way through the throng of ‘London is basically a theme park so no laws of etiquette ever could possibly apply’ tourists, and being told by a sign to ‘eat the beat’, which, honestly, isn’t a message I want in a food market. I want to be told ‘our pies are nice’, not to eat sound, which famously isn’t food, this sight hove into view.

Now, I know and you know that the hotdog sign is what I’m referencing, but as an aside, if you’re buying calamari from a place next to the Regents Canal, as hand food, RIP whatever insides you have left because culinary decision-making isn’t your forte. I speak as a man who measures sausages that he eats and who is somehow still walking around looking at things.

We groin-checked our way through the crowd - honestly he’s like a game of Buckaroo I’ve never seen power like it - and joined the line for these supposed hotdogs. The place is called Oh My Dog! so I was already consumed by hatred for the awful pun. They also weren’t cheap.

Listen. If you are charging me £8.50 for a meatpipe and bread, I’d better be able to call it in March so it’ll do my taxes. It had better be capable of establishing complex trade agreements. In the end, James paid and I haven’t paid him back, but he’s a rich number wizard so this is the correct order of things. James. What a silly name.

They also had little plastic replicas of the sausages as if I didn’t know what sausages looked like.

Oh they don’t have feet and a bow tie? No shit, I’ve been eating orphans this entire time for no reason.

Anyway we (James) paid and this was the result of our (his) financial transaction.

A watch strap and a bad, old tattoo. I jest, the sausage was what we bought, I had you fooled because I am a master of illusion and hiding male pattern baldness. This hot dog, the one in the photograph posted mere centimetres above, was...fine. The sausage had barely any flavour, the bread was too doughy, the onions weren’t that crispy and its views on the life and work of Jeanette Winterson were honestly disappointing. She’s a treasure and we must preserve her.

Then it pissed down.

What you see here, is a wet sausage. A damp pipe. A rain rod. Wow that last one needs some workshopping. It rained so much you could smell Camden, and honestly, and I know I’m saying’ honestly’ a lot but it means you have to believe me no backsies, Camden fucking stinks.

And also don’t you DREAM about recycling here on our turf. This is a PRIVATE BIN! NO!

We cowered under a balcony for 20 minutes, eating our depressing dough-lengths - christ, that one as well - and then made a run for it to a pub. I’m not telling you which pub it is my (our) business.

I can tell you that the sausage was longer than the distance between James’ nipples and here is proof since that’s so important to you when you’re here in my house.

He got ketchup on his because he does not sausage correctly but forgive him for that as I did, not everyone sausages terrifically and I spilled mustard on myself in the rain and he didn’t so he has the dexterity required for a true sausage wrangler. I didn’t make that dirty, you did.

All in all, this was fine. It was probably priced correctly given the size, and the man behind the counter was very nice to us. Would I go back? No, I will literally never go back, this was a Great Chicago Fire of an experience, but if they came to my house and said would you like a sausage, I would investigate their intent and then say yes, depending on the outcome of my investigation.

CURRENT LENGTH - WE WERE ON 591CM AND THIS WAS WIDER THAN JAMES’ SAUCER-LIKE NIPPLES WHICH IS WHAT I GUESS THEY LOOK LIKE I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM SO LET’S CALL THIS 606CM WHICH IS ENOUGH TO FELL A LARGE RAM

SAUSAGE RATING - IT WAS EXPENSIVE AND NOT AMAZING BUT I’M GOING TO GIVE IT A 7/10 FOR EFFORT SINCE THEY EFFORTED

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whiskeytangofrogman · 7 years ago

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100 Questions

Tagged by @bookwyrmling

below the cut

1. Coffee or tea? Tea for like, “I need to be awake but not THAT awake” and coffee for productivity, espresso for college. 2. Black and white or color? both duh 3. Drawings or paintings? I am but a humble wordsmith who loves all art stuff 4. Dresses or skirts? Booooooth 5. Books or movies? Different forms of media that I get different things out of. Movies for fun hangouts, books for interesting discussion. Also for my major lmfao 6. Pepsi or Coke? Dr. Pepper thanks 7. Chinese or Italian? Boooooooooooooooth 8. Early bird or night owl? Neither. Sleep when I need it, up when I’m up 9. Chocolate or vanilla? vaaaniiiilllllaaaaaaa 10. Introvert or extrovert? what is “extrovert”??? no but fr i’m like, 70/30 introvert 11. Hugs or kisses? hugs but only with people i’m like, comfortable with 12. Hunting or fishing? neither thanks 13. Winter or summer? i dont live in montana because i like sunshine and heat, that’s for sure 14. Spring or fall? fall. spring can eat me 15. Rural or urban? Urban please. I live rural-ish now and no thanks 16. PC or Mac? Unix can eat me too 17. Tan or pale? I love being tan but I also hate sun so. That’s a thing 18. Cake or pie? Cake with whipped or cream cheese frosting 19. Ice cream or yogurt? Froyoooo 20. Ketchup or mustard? Mustard hell yeah 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Pickles, the third thing that can eat me 22. Comedy or mystery? love that comedy. 23. Boots or sandals? boots but also converse 24. Silver or gold? Silver. i’m a good slytherin 25. Pop or Rock? porque no los dos 26. Dancing or singing? I got like, five left feet, so singing. If you ask nicely i might show you a performance or two 27. Checkers or chess? Both 28. Board games or video games? VIDYA GAMES 29. Wine or beer? Eh, depends on mood and what I have, but usually beer 30. Freckles or dimples? I have neither but i love both 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? fuck this question, ew 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? i am asthmatic 33. Baseball or basketball? Baseball I guess? Idk i’m not a Sport 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Both pls 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? I like stubble but also like, whatever. the earth is doomed keep ur body hair where u want it 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Crushed fuck yeah 37. Skiing or snowboarding? staying inside and glaring at the snow 38. Smile or game face? why not both 39. Bracelet or necklace? rings 40. Fruit or vegetables? both 41. Sausage or bacon? i’m allergic to pork lmao 42. Scrambled or fried? frieeeeed 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark. 44. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos 45. Antique or brand new? does it matter 46. Dress up or dress down? i live in jeans and hoodies what do u think 47. Cowboys or aliens? SPACE WESTERNS 48. Cats or dogs? Cats! 49. Pancakes or waffles? PANCAKES. 50. Bond or Bourne? Kingsman 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-fi and fantasy. In the same thing 52. Numbers or letters? Letters 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Eh, probably hp 54. Fair or theme park? I’m a hoe for street fairs 55. Money or fame? CHASE THAT PAPER, SON 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? Laundry. I hate wet food 57. Snakes or sharks? both lol 58. Orange juice or apple juice? cranapple for LIFE 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Both, somehow. I’m like, a strategic slacker 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? PB 63. Grammys or Oscars? i honestly don’t know the difference. the only award show i know for sure what it is are the tonys. I think the grammys are music, in which case that? 64. Detailed or abstract? In my life? Detailed. In my reading? Love that abstract 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? turning in an essay 66. Adventurous or cautious? boring 67. Saver or spender? depends 68. Glasses or contacts? Glasses 69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop 70. Classic or modern? depends. modern novels, classic decor 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? gimme that good fooooood 72. Internet or cell phone? cell phone with internet? 73. Call or text? Call for big things, instant message for entertainment, text for only like i’m here texts 74. Curly hair or straight hair? my hair is a mass of curls upon waves upon curls 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Used to be morning until college, and now it’s evening 76. Spicy or mild? Spicy 77. Marvel or DC? Webcomics 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Rent 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? fuck you 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? ew 81. Jello or pudding? ew ew 82. Truth or dare? neither. i am a mystery wrapped inside an enigma 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? ferris wheel if i have to 84. Leather or denim? leather looks cooler, but i wear more denim 85. Stripes or solids? depends 86. Bagels or muffins? depends on my mood 87. Whole wheat or white? whole grain w/nuts 88. Beads or pearls? beads 89. Hardwood or carpet? depends, kitchen and bathroom are tile or hardwood, but i like how carpet feels on my feet 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? both 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? little older if this also comes with having graduated 92. Raisins or nuts? both. trail mix. GORP 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Restaurant! 94. Black leather or brown leather? boooooth 95. Long hair or short hair? at the shoulders 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? ?????????? who aims after they fire wtf lmao 97. Fiction or non-fiction? both 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i’m asthmatic 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? how anxious am i at that exact moment lol 100. Asking questions or answering questions? both?

okay @iamneversleepingagain and @smol-lucio its ur turn (if u want to)

#tag game #bookwyrmling #this was........ interesting

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predictableintrovertedchaos · 7 years ago

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100 this or that tag

Hello everybody!

This is a tag that I found on @seeingeverything‘s blog and we wanted to do this.

INFP

1. Coffee or tea? Tea all the way 2. Black and white or color? Color 3. Drawings or paintings? Paintings 4. Dresses or skirts? Dresses

5. Books or movies? Books 6. Pepsi or Coke? doesn’t matter 7. Chinese or Italian? hmm, Italian? 8. Early bird or night owl? night owl 9. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate 10. Introvert or extrovert? obviously an introvert *hides behind bushes* 11. Hugs or kisses? both? both and many 12. Hunting or fishing? none 13. Winter or summer? Winter all the way 14. Spring or fall? late fall, when it’s almost winter 15. Rural or urban? as long as there are trees around me 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? tan 18. Cake or pie? cake 19. Ice cream or yogurt? ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? mustard 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? dill pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? mystery 23. Boots or sandals? boots 24. Silver or gold? silver 25. Pop or Rock? rock 26. Dancing or singing? singing, but when I am alone (or drunk) it’s both 27. Checkers or chess? chess 28. Board games or video games? video games 29. Wine or beer? beer, I detest the taste of wine 30. Freckles or dimples? freckles 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? BBQ sauce 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? if I had to choose: weight lifting 33. Baseball or basketball? none of these, but maybe football; (also *stares at INTJ* wouldn’t you miss your favourite mug?) 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crossword puzzles 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? facial hair 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? cubed ice 37. Skiing or snowboarding? going sledding, making snow angels 38. Smile or game face? smile 39. Bracelet or necklace? bracelet 40. Fruit or vegetables? vegetables 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon *heart eyes* 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? the darker the chocolate, the better 44. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos 45. Antique or brand new? antique 46. Dress up or dress down? dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? I believe 48. Cats or dogs? cats 49. Pancakes or waffles? waffles 50. Bond or Bourne? Bond 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-Fi 52. Numbers or letters? letters 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Rings ftw 54. Fair or theme park? fair park 55. Money or fame? I don’t wanna be famous 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? washing dishes 57. Snakes or sharks? sharks are cool 58. Orange juice or apple juice? apple juice 59. Sunrise or sunset? sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? slacker 61. Pen or pencil? pencil 62. Peanut butter or jelly? meh, none 63. Grammys or Oscars? I don’t watch either 64. Detailed or abstract? abstract 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? essay questions 66. Adventurous or cautious? adventurous at times, but always to shy to do things. I am always up for an adventure, if somebody asks, though. 67. Saver or spender? saver 68. Glasses or contacts? glasses 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? classic 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? personal chef 72. Internet or cell phone? I couldn’t live without Internet, send help 73. Call or text? always text, if it isn’t neccessary to call 74. Curly hair or straight hair? curly 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? at night 76. Spicy or mild? mild, with hints at spicy 77. Marvel or DC? Marvel 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? i wanna do both and parabolic flight 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos and milk, what is better? 81. Jello or pudding? pudding 82. Truth or dare? truth 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? leather 85. Stripes or solids? stripes 86. Bagels or muffins? muffins 87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat 88. Beads or pearls? pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? neutral tones 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? just me 92. Raisins or nuts? nuts; I hate raisins 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? I am a sucker for picnics 94. Black leather or brown leather? both 95. Long hair or short hair? long hair 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? the first 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? non-smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? always think beforehand 100. Asking questions or answering questions? asking them

INTJ

1. Coffee or tea? I like tea. But I’d go to hell and back for coffee. 2. Black and white or color? Black. Without white, please. 3. Drawings or paintings? Paintings. 4. Dresses or skirts? Dresses. 5. Books or movies? Movies. 6. Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Zero, if possible. 7. Chinese or Italian? The food? Chinese. The country, the people, the architecture, the language, the fashion, art, coffee, wine and overall way to live? Italian. 8. Early bird or night owl? Night owl. 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. 10. Introvert or extrovert? Who run the world? Introverts. 11. Hugs or kisses? As long as they’re sincere - either. 12. Hunting or fishing? Nah. 13. Winter or summer? Fall, please. 14. Spring or fall? Fall, please. Also, I hate spring. 15. Rural or urban? Give me the biggest city you can find to wander and I’ll be happy. 16. PC or Mac? PC. 17. Tan or pale? Whatever. 18. Cake or pie? Cake. 19. Ice cream or yogurt? Frozen yogurt, anyone? 20. Ketchup or mustard? Nah. 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Nah uh. 22. Comedy or mystery? Yes. 23. Boots or sandals? Boots. 24. Silver or gold? Silver. 25. Pop or Rock? Rock. 26. Dancing or singing? singing, but when I am alone (or drunk) it’s both (No, I did not steal this from INFP, how dare you.) 27. Checkers or chess? What even is checkers...? 28. Board games or video games? Video games. 29. Wine or beer? Hm... Hmm... Hmmm... Wine. 30. Freckles or dimples? Dimples on a cute guy make me die a thousand deaths, so... dimples. 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? Honey mustard. 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? Does a coffee mug count as weights? 33. Baseball or basketball? Does a coffee mug count as a baseball? 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Crossword puzzles. 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? Clean shaven. 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Cubed ice. 37. Skiing or snowboarding? Does a coffee mug... I’ll just not answer the sports related questions, how ‘bout that. 38. Smile or game face? Game face. 39. Bracelet or necklace? Necklace. 40. Fruit or vegetables? Fruit. 41. Sausage or bacon? Bacon. Duh. 42. Scrambled or fried? Scrambled. 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Dark. But it’s chocolate, so any, really. 44. Tattoos or piercings? Tattoos. 45. Antique or brand new? How can you ask me such a question without context? Is it technology? Is it art? Is it my brain, exploding from this question? 46. Dress up or dress down? Dress down. 47. Cowboys or aliens? Aliens. 48. Cats or dogs? Cats. 49. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes. 50. Bond or Bourne? Bond. *gimme* 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-Fi. 52. Numbers or letters? Numbers. 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? LotR a thousand times. 54. Fair or theme park? Fair park. 55. Money or fame? Money. 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? Hm... laundry. 57. Snakes or sharks? Sharks. 58. Orange juice or apple juice? Apple juice. 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset. 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Depends 100 % on the moon phase. 61. Pen or pencil? Pen. 62. Peanut butter or jelly? Peanut butter! 63. Grammys or Oscars? Oscars. 64. Detailed or abstract? Abstract. 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Multiple choice. 66. Adventurous or cautious? I wouldn’t jump off a cliff if that’s what you’re asking. Unless it’s in Hannibal’s arms. 67. Saver or spender? I have no idea. 68. Glasses or contacts? Glasses. 69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop. 70. Classic or modern? Modern. 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? Personal chef. 72. Internet or cell phone? Wait what? What kind of cell phone doesn’t have internet nowadays? 73. Call or text? Text. Duh. 74. Curly hair or straight hair? Straight. 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? If there’s time, in the morning. 76. Spicy or mild? Mild. 77. Marvel or DC? Marvel. 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Rent. 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Neither. Unless it’s in Hannibal’s arms. 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? I never had Chips Ahoy but they look pretty nice. 81. Jello or pudding? Pudding. 82. Truth or dare? Truth. 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? Roller coaster... I think. 84. Leather or denim? Leather all day every day. 85. Stripes or solids? Solids. 86. Bagels or muffins? Muffins. 87. Whole wheat or white? Whole wheat. 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls. 89. Hardwood or carpet? Hardwood. 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? See question 2. 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? Neither. But if I’d have to choose - older. 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts. 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Nice restaurants, I think. 94. Black leather or brown leather? See question 90. 95. Long hair or short hair? Whatever. 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? What kind of stupid question is this. 97. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction. 98. Smoking or non-smoking? Non-smoking. 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Cogito ergo sum. 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering them, raising them on the way.

Now, that was interesting. Are you up for it guys’n’gals? @caffeinated-esfp, @shotgunbarbie, @do-you-even-write-bro, @one-intp-girl. Also, every other person who comes along this.

Feel free to join in and don’t forget to tag us, if you come across one of these, they’re hella fun to answer.

Have a nice day.<3 - INFP Until further notice. - INTJ

#mbti #myers briggs #mbti types #intj #infp #tag games #100 this or that #100 #this or that #intp #infj #entp #entj #enfp #enfj #estj #esfp #esfj #estp #istp #istj #isfj #isfp

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drmaqazi · 5 years ago

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20 THINGS FORBIDDEN BY HOLY BIBLE

Everyone tries his or her best to be a good person. But, unfortunately, it turns out you could be disobeying God Almighty, the big guy in the sky every single day without even knowing it. In fact, from getting inked to shaving your beard, here are 20 things you probably didn’t even realize are forbidden by the Bible.

1. Checking people out

Single or not, everyone checks people out from time to time. It’s human nature. Big surprise: the Bible doesn’t like it, not one little bit. In fact, Matthew 5:28 says you’re basically a filthy cheater if you so much as look at someone else. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

2. Not sharing food

Leviticus 19:10 decrees, “Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner.” And we can probably interpret that as yes, the Bible does want you to share your fries.

3. Getting remarried

This time we turn to the New Testament, where a little gem can be found in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Great, so everyone who gets divorced is just supposed to be sad and alone forever. Thanks a bunch, Bible.

4. Stepping on the property ladder

More words of wisdom from Leviticus 25:23 here, “The land must not be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you reside in my land as foreigners and strangers.” Look, the Bible is just plain weird sometimes. If it says you can’t buy a house, then just don’t do it. You’re risking the wrath of God or whatever.

5. Touch steaks

According to Leviticus 5:2, “Suppose you unknowingly touch something that is ceremonially unclean, such as the carcass of an unclean animal. When you realize what you have done, you must admit your defilement and your guilt.” So next time you’re handling steaks for the grill, make sure you admit your guilt or you could be risking eternal damnation.

6. Want other people’s stuff

Food envy, clothes envy, general FOMO. Being envious of what other people have is an unfortunate aspect of our social media-fueled modern lives. And one of the Bible’s ten commandments says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house… or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox.” Okay, so you might not be coveting an ox these days but the point stands.

7. Tearing up your jeans

Leave it to Leviticus to ruin our fun. And this time it’s got its sights on our jeans – or all clothes, to be specific. Leviticus 10:6 states, “Do not let your hair become unkempt and do not tear your clothes, or you will die.” So no more stylishly ripping your denim, or, you know… death.

8. Hold grudges

Being bitter and slightly passive-aggressive because your other half left the toilet seat up/down again is one of life’s miserable little joys. Enter the Bible. Leviticus 19:18 states, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love thy neighbor as yourself.” Sigh.

9. Dissing the elderly

Okay, we’ve got to hand it to the Bible on this one. Our society doesn’t always treat older people with the respect and admiration they deserve. And so we’d have to agree with Leviticus 19:32 which reads, “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God.” Word.

10. Spinning a little white lie

Whether we admit it or not, telling lies is an everyday activity for a lot of us. But hey, guess what? The Bible says it’s wrong. Check out Leviticus 19:11, “Do not deceive or cheat one another.” This time, however, the Bible just might have a point. With all the fake news and post-truth “facts” out there, we could all do with doing a little less lying.

11. Disrespecting your parents

Exodus 21:17 decrees, “And he that corset his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.” Basically that means the Bible says you can’t argue with your parents or call them names when you’re angry. Is nothing sacred?

12. Flashing your finery

The Old Testament even has rules about which kind of jewelry is acceptable and which will damn you to Hell. For example, Timothy 2:9 states, “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” Kind of makes you want to wear all your jewelry at once, doesn’t it?

13. Enjoying most seafood

Fancy some mussels? How about some sea-fresh lobster? Too bad, Bible says no. In the book of Leviticus 10:11 (where else?) we find, “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the water, and of any living thing which is in the water, they shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh.”

14. Munching on crispy bacon

Put down that BLT; the Bible doesn’t like it. And it’s not just bacon that the Old Testament doesn’t like you putting on your table either. According to the Bible, you can’t eat sausages, pork chops, and trotters – any part of the pig. Leviticus 11:7-8 lays down the law by saying, “You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.”

15. Constant gossiping

Gossiping about co-workers, acquaintances, and Z-list celebrities: it’s one of the simple pleasures of life. And one that the Bible is trying to take away from us. Leviticus 19:16 says, “Thou shalt not go about as a talebearer among thy people…” But come on, “going about as a talebearer” sounds really fun.

16. Layering your clothes

“But layering is so on trend right now,” we hear you cry. Well, too bad. You can’t layer your favorite wool sweater under a sharp white shirt anymore. The Bible says so. Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You shall not… wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”

17. Daily beard grooming

The Old Testament definitely frowns upon regular beard upkeep – or any beard grooming, to be precise. Indeed, Leviticus 21:5 states, “They shall not make any baldness on their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards.” There are going to be so many upset hipsters out there…

18. Feasting on bloody burgers

The Bible is arguably so fond of fire, brimstone and general gore that this one comes as a bit of a surprise. And yet Leviticus 3:17 reads, “It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that you eat neither fat nor blood.” So put down the dirty burger and pick up a courgetti spiralizer instead.

19. Getting inked

Leviticus 19:23 reads, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves.” So if you’ve got an ill-advised lower back tattoo then you’re making God mad – as well as your mom.

20. Working way more than 9 to 5

Lots of us have a sneaky check of our work email on a Sunday. It’s a fact of modern living. And yet Exodus 31: 14-15 reads, “For six days work is to be done, but the seventh day is a day of Sabbath rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day is to be put to death.” Explain that to your boss.

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geekade · 7 years ago

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Before Their Time: Action

What’s the collective noun for a clawing herd of shameless assholes who will do anything to make a buck? That’s a trick question, of course, because the answer depends on where you ask: In the Northeast, it’s Wall Street. In the Mid-Atlantic, it’s DC. And in Southern California, it’s Hollywood.

Whatever you call them, shameless people – however hateful, venal, and shallow – are pretty funny. The Wolf of Wall Street was rich with comic moments, Veep continues to vacuum up Emmys, and reality TV is still a thing. Clearly there’s something to be said for the entertainment value of moral bankruptcy (as long as it doesn’t cost spectators anything). So today, Before Their Time will be revisiting a show that figured this out just a little too early, a one-season wonder that flowered into malevolent bloom before withering on its own poisonous vine. Today, you’re going to get some Action.

Action was a sitcom about the business of making movies. Jay Mohr starred as producer Peter Dragon, founder and resident raging asshole of Dragonfire Films. Dragonfire specializes in action flicks – light on plot, heavy on artillery. The formula is reliable until the day it isn’t: when Peter’s newest film (Slow Torture) flops, studio executives stop returning his calls and – worse – a fashionable restaurant starts refusing to seat him. Flailing to recoup his status and his company’s funds, Peter buys a screenplay whose author turns out to be not the hoped-for Alan Rifkin but the less-experienced, similarly-named Adam Rafkin (Jarrad Paul) and finds himself stuck with the rights to something called Beverly Hills Gun Club. If he ever wants to be taken seriously again, Peter must round up investors, a cast, and a director to film a movie whose climactic battle takes out hundreds of zoo animals (and, one presumes, the bad guys, unless the bad guys in question ARE the zoo animals).

youtube

WE ARE THE DANGER

Neither the script’s content nor Dragonfire’s previous box office flop can tempt anyone reputable (or sensible) to touch the project, and Peter embarks on a series of deals with devils he doesn’t know. This goes about as well as you would imagine: The director – their last choice – won’t stop talking about his enemas, the lead actor has a drug problem, the lead actress wants the crew to look away while filming her, and one of the investors tries to purchase Peter’s 10-year-old daughter. But Peter never says die. This tenacity is the closest thing he has to a redeemable quality, and it makes his otherwise antiheroic lurches from one catastrophe to the next consistently entertaining.

Peter is supported in this quixotic endeavor by his deadpan Uncle Lonnie (Buddy Hackett), who works as his driver and head of security, Stuart Glazer (Jack Plotnick), Dragonfire’s long-suffering President of Production, and Wendy Ward (Illeana Douglas), Dragonfire’s newly-installed Vice President of Production. Wendy provides most of the show’s human touch, such as it is; her previous career as a sex worker equipped her to deal with Hollywood’s monsters without turning her into one. This also means nothing surprises her, and unflappability is a valuable skill in a business that is more sordid (and hilarious) than even the most cynical detractor of the entertainment industry could imagine. I do mean that literally. The show’s creators cribbed many gags from their own experiences with A-listers (who, disappointingly, remain anonymized). Although these gags are funny on their own merits, knowing that, say, an argument about codpiece size actually happened on a real movie set does add a note of schadenfreude-y frisson to the proceedings.

Verisimilitude aside, Action was never going to last very long. The show’s writers and producers clashed with network censors (Fox, who else?) on everything from swearing to fellatio, and reviewers dismissed the series as mean-spirited. Its most profane moments seem quaint now, but in 1999 they challenged a network TV ethos still skittish about so much as alluding to adult themes. If you’re too young to remember TV in the 90s, let’s just say pearls were still being clutched over one half of Will & Grace’s titular duo being an out gay man.

Ultimately, I think Action’s creators miscalculated their audience’s tolerance not for profanity but for inside baseball. The show struggled to find viewers; network audiences either weren’t ready to see how big-budget sausage gets made or they just didn’t care to watch. In a few more years, viewers would develop an appetite for the risqué and the profane: Action would be right at home alongside the pole-dancing on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and the streams of profanity on Hell’s Kitchen. If nothing else, it performed the brief but necessary function of a flash-in-the-pan envelope pusher, nudging open windows through which later shows could slip edgier gags. Although it wasn’t quite as funny or brutal, Action prefigured the barbed behind-the-scenes honesty that made Arrested Development and Veep such hits. Sure, it got folks hot and bothered before leaving them unsatisfied, but that’s what happens when your Action comes too soon.

HOW TO WATCH: The complete show is available on DVD and iTunes or streaming on Amazon and Hulu.

MUST WATCH: If you watch only one episode, the series finale, “The Last Ride of the Elephant Princess,” sums up everything that is wrong with big-budget productions.

FAVORITE LINES: “This is where the magic happens!”

“You’re pitching me OJ Simpson?!?” “Every kid knows his name!” “Yeah, every kid knows to stay away from him!”

“You’re threatening me? That’s a laugh...I’m 79 years old. I’ve got one kidney, one ball and one lung. I take Viagra just to keep from peeing on my shoes, and you’re threatening me? Who are you frightening?”

PAIR WITH: Lots of hard alcohol, and possibly coke.

WATCH FOR: In spite of its brevity, Action scored cameos from a number of 90s celebrities, most of whom appeared as themselves. Notable appearances include Keanu Reeves, Salma Hayek, Sandra Bullock, Scott Wolf, Tony Hawk, and David Hasselhoff(!).

AFTERWARDS: If Veep is more verisimilitude than you can handle right now, re-watch Arrested Development.

#TV #articles

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moonshroooms · 7 years ago

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102 More random questions. I wasn’t even bored I just saw some on a blog so here we go

Forgot to save the link for the post it came on, so sorry if you wanted to do this too! >^<

1. favorite season?

Hmm, spring and fall. Though I like spring more than fall

2. prettiest thing u own?

My Zelda necklace/choker, which is just some basic woven bracelet (brown with a gold Zelda emblem), but my wrists were too bony to actually wear it (it kept fallin’ over D: ) so my friend modified it to be a choker for me! It’s my favorite thing. And also, a silver pendant necklace that’s little gem-covered (fake gems, obvi) lock with a tiny key. I used to like collecting keys as a child, and often thought of myself as a lock and key when I was little, so it’s one of my favorite things as well. :3

3. do u prefer to be outside or inside?

I prefer to be outside. I was always a dirt child growing up, and I love being outside in the sun or clouds or rain, in the grass or up in trees. However, since I currently live in the city, I prefer the inside, because there’s no people. So basically: when there’s no people/it’s nature-y, outside. When there’s people/it’s a city, inside.

4. furthest ever traveled?

I went to the Bahamas for my sister’s wedding. Hoo was that quite a lot of saving, but I made it, and it was such an experience. I’m so lucky to have been able to go

5. what’s your aesthetic in 3 words?

Animal nature fandom

6 favorite gemstone?

Larimar, for sure! I don’t know that it’s technically a gemstone, but it’s a pretty rock and that’s all I care about.

7 best thing about yourself, in your opinion

Everything obvi

No no. But hmm. I guess I’d say my athletic prowess. I love moving around and going places (as in, climbing up rocks or something). And I love that I’m naturally inclined to be rather strong, flexible, and dexterous, despite the fact that I’m out of shape as hell

8 best thing about yourself, in other’s opinion

I. Hm. I’m not sure, as I haven’t asked that kind of question (despite desperately wanting to). I think my friend TH said it was great how everything could be a game for me. My other friend T said he liked that I could easily switch with being an adult and being a kid. So my childlike sense of the world, I suppose.

9 what’s your weirdest fear?

I don’t know that it’s weird or that I have a really ‘weird’ fear. I had a fear of mirrors at night, once, because I was afraid if I looked in one I’d see the Chuckie doll in the reflection. I’m incredibly creeped out by intestinal parasites, but I mean, who wouldn’t be, you know? Unless that’s your jam, that is. If it is, dang do I wish I could be u cause u got some nerve

10 weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

It started off on what would seem to be a sex dream, and then I turned away from the random dude my brain conjured up for one second for it to be replaced with my mom. And I was like. So disappointed. And she was just like “:D Hey sweetheart, what’chya doin’?” I woke up and was very annoyed.

And to be fair, this isn’t exactly a “weird” dream, but 90% of my dreams are absolutely off the wall and make no sense, so the fact that this one was mostly coherent was the weirdest thing about it tbh

11 go-to hiding place

Up a tree

12 favorite place in your house

Wherever my laptop or games are

13 earliest memory

Racing my old cat home down the hill we lived on

14 do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, but at the same time if someone told me they could see/speak to ghosts, or that there was a ghost haunting my house right now, I tell them that was bullshit. So basically I’m open to the possibility, but probably wouldn’t believe someone saying they’re supernaturally gifted XD

15 favorite sea creature?

Beluga whales, hands down. I’ve been in love with them since I was 6 years old and they’re my favorite animal period.

16 cold showers or hot baths?

Cold shower, but don’t get me wrong, hot baths are great too

17 satin or lace?

Satin is comfy, lace is sexy ;D

18 gold or silver?

Silver. I don’t understand why people like gold so much. Yellow is an alright color, and gold is basically just yellow. Silver is just so much prettier and goes with 10x more colors honestly smh

19 hoops or pearl earrings?

Pearls!

20 aesthetic song

Fireflies by Owl City

21 top 5 songs

Fireflies by Owl City

Aaaand

Not gonna lie, Fireflies is my favorite song, and the other four songs tend to change to whatever I like at the time, so I don’t really have a top 5 favorite. So here’s my favorite songs right now

Enchanted by Taylor Swift (Owl City Cover)

Louder Than Thunder by the Devil Wears Prada (I just rediscovered this song recently. It’s so fricken emotional and it makes me laugh so much. I love the instrumentals and the dude’s voice).

Violet Hill by Coldplay

Jenny by Studio Killers

Sad Machine by Porter Robinson

22 favorite time of the day?

Dawn, like literally when the sun is just barely showing in the sky and the skies and clouds are washed with pinks and blues and no one else in the world has quite woken up yet. A prerequisite to enjoying this time of day is having pulled an all-nighter, of course, because I am morning person, but not a “waking up” person. Other than that, midnight, when the moon is high and the world is quite.

Basically any time of day when everyone is clocked the fudge out and I can be alone without anyone expecting anything of me

23 favorite part of your body?

When I was little my friend told me I had a really nice collarbone, and that has been my favorite part of my body since lol

24 do you drink alcohol?

Naaah. Other than being pretty uninterested in being drunk in general, I also hate the taste of 99.9% of any alcohol. Beer is the taste I hate the least, but I still don’t like the taste. The only alcoholic drink I can say actually like the taste of was Red’s Apple Ale, and no I was sponsored to say that :P My friend coaxed me into taking and sip and I was like ‘welp, get ready for the bitterness’ and then I was like ‘that was pretty good wtf’

25 dream job from when u were a kid

Working on a TV show about animals, like Steve Irwin, or Jeff Corwin, or the Kratt brothers. It still technically is my dream job, but I will be satisfied with anything that allows me to make an improvement in the animal community

26 messy or clean?

Depends on my mood and the location. My room? Messy. My laptop icons/folders? Clean. At my friend’s house? Clean. My computer desk? Kinda messy, but with an intent to be organized.

27 tea or coffee?

Water

28 favorite book

Forest Born by Shannon Hale.

Ps read her whole series it’s called the Books of Bayern and the first one is the Goose Girl and they’re beautiful they’re literally my favorite series go read them

29 zodiac sign?

Scorpio!

30 extrovert or introvert?

Mega introvert, but I’m one of those people that’s like really shy and quiet and calm at first/if I don’t like or know you well, and then I get loud and weird and spazzy when I’m comfortable around you

31 celebrity crush?

None, actually. I’ve never had a celebrity crush. I feel like knowing their personality is kinda required to get a crush, you know? I can’t really crush based on faces alone

32 early bird or night owl?

Night Owl for sure

33 do you believe in love at first sight?

Nah, that’s infatuation man. Love only comes from understanding one another, time, and effort. You can’t actually fall in love with that person the first time you see them. Attraction at first sight, absolutely. Love? Nope

34 favorite book quote

Uhhhhh. Hm.

Honestly, I don’t think I have one. And if I do, and I’m not going to look for one right now cause I’m lazy, then it’ll probably be something dumb the character said.

35 three wishes you have

Can they be unrealistic wishes?

Shapeshifting

Speak any language

Visit the loved ones who have passed on

36 do you believe in magic?

100%

37 do you believe in soulmates?

38 zoo or aquarium?

D: I

Can I have both

If not aquariums I suppose, since I’m more likely to see my favorite animal there

39 cats or dogs?

Cats. I love puppers though! I’d just rather have cats as pets :3

40 how many languages do you speak?

Just English, though I know a few phrases in Spanish that my mom will say at me, and I hope to learn sign language one day soon!

41 how has your life changed from last year?

I’m in college now. Community college, but still

42 why do you have your name/url?

My nickname is Moon, and honestly all of my unimportant usernames are moon-related in some way

43 do you keep secrets? how well?

Super well, cause I hate gossip. The exceptions are that I may talk to my mom or best friend if it bothers me. Exception from that being if the secret-sharer explicitly asks me not to talk to those people about it

44 favorite animal

Beluga whales, white lions, sugar gliders

45 what is love to you?

A feeling/person that makes your life better overall. That the two of you will talk and support each other when things are rough, and someone that you want to be with you on your journey in life, and they want you in theirs. Close friends and romantic love are very similar to each other, to me, with a few differences of course

46 future children name?

Devon or Aiden for a boy

Anaise or Astrid for a girl

47 favorite color

Blue! Cerulean blue, specifically

And silver

48 favorite movie

Bambi, Jurassic Park, Jumanji

49 cuddles or kisses?

Fade in and out from both

50 if you could have any person in the world over for dinner, who would be?

My best friend’s in florida!

51 someone to bring back from the dead

If there were absolutely no downsides to bringing them back and the person in question wanted to be brought back, my old cat Princess. Life just… looks less colorful since she left.

52 lipstick or lipgloss?

Chapstick

53 are you street smart or book smart?

Book Smart for sure. I wish I could be street smart, but I’m an awkward sausage

54 your biggest strength

I… am not sure. I don’t know what I’d consider my biggest strength. Looking at both sides of an argument, perhaps?

55 favorite sport

I hate sports because there’s too many rules. That’s annoying. I want to kick someone in the shins and not get a penalty for it

56 favorite drink?

Cactus Cooler and Shirly Temples (sans alcohol)

57 favorite winter activity

Staying the fuck inside with a fire

Where I’m from it doesn’t know, it just rains

58 last time you went abroad

My sister’s wedding, august 2016!

59 favorite dessert

Strawberry shortcake!

60 favorite artist

You know, I thought this meant song artist, but considering singer/band is right underneath, then maybe it means like art artist? I dunno man, I don’t pay attention to art much.

61 favorite singer/band

Owl City

62 favorite dancing song

Single Ladies by Beyoncé

63 favorite crying song

The Last Unicorn by America

U asked for a crying song and that’s like literally the only song that can actually make me cry for some reason

64 do you wear glasses?

Thankfully not! I don’t have a problem with other people who wear glasses, it just seems like such a pain

65 first thing you do when you wake up

Say good morning to my old cat in heaven

66 how long do u usually sleep for?

Though my friend said 8 hours is actually too much for most people, and most people should typically get 7 hours, I’m an outlier and should not have been counted cause if I wanna wake up without feeling sleepy still for a few hours then 8 hours is the way to go

67 one thing you lost and you want back

My old teddy bear named Rose. I was kidnapped when I was younger (long story) and my brother’s old army friends pulled together money to get me a red teddy bear with a rose on the neck. It was/is my favorite stuffed animal. When my mom and I moved apartments I was being taken on vacation with my friends to her grandmother’s ranch. I put Rose in my mom’s purse for her to make sure it didn’t get thrown away or lost. She lost it though, and I never saw Rose again. I miss her very much

68 biggest fear

Losing my loved ones

69 favorite carnival ride

That ride where it spins you around and you stick to the walls

70 do u have birthmarks or scars?

I have some stretch marks on my thighs which I actually quite like the look of, and a slightly darker blotch on my lower left-side of my stomach. It’s not really noticeable at all, but you can see it just fine when I point it out

71 favorite childhood memory

Anything with my old cat Princess

72 what do u think about during a storm?

If there’s thunder, I think about how I can almost feel it rumbling in my chest. Otherwise I think about how if I didn’t have neighbors and people around to see me, I’d 100% go outside and play in the rain

73 one word to describe your life?

Downhill

74 craziest thing ever done

Mmm. When I was younger I got to go be “zookeeper for a day” and I got to pet one of the baby alligators (two of them! They’re names were Hugs and Kisses!) and see all the snakes and other animals!

75 do u have piercings or tattoos?

I do not. I had my ears pierced when I was younger, but it was so annoying to keep up with since it would always close, so I just. Let it

76 favorite flower

*googles*

Oh my goodness.

Dahlia flowers. Dahlia flowers are goregeous

(Orchids too!)

77 do u have any pets?

I do. I have two kittens (eh, they’re not kittens anymore. But they’re kinda small and fluffy cats, so they’ll always be kittens), named Canyon and India!

78 describe your style

Casual, bright colors

79 choose one thing to change about yourself

Be more sure of myself

80 do u play any musical instruments?

Does your voice count?

81 if your life was a movie would it be a comedy, a rom-com, action film or drama?

Tragedy

82 do u prefer dark, dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

No makeup, but if I must choose, natural

83 favorite perfume

Anything cherry blossom

84 biggest fandom

Keeping in mind that, despite being apart of many fandoms, I never actually participate in anything other than the consuming of other people’s works

Undertale, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe

85 favorite YouTuber(s)

Chuggaaconroy: A+++ let’s player. He’s very detailed and thorough in his let’s play, which are basically let’s plays and walkthroughs combined. He can get loud, but he seems very sincere and his videos are a lot of fun.

Vintagebeef: A+ let’s player. He’s got a nice calm voice, he’s funny, and plays a variety games (though mostly minecraft). My favorite thing is that he doesn’t talk over cutscenes and whatnot

Cryaotic: Another great let’s player. My god I could swim in that voice. I don’t watch a lot of his videos (mostly the sprite games he plays), but when I do I fricken’ binge. His reactions are very genuine and he’s funny too

Versus (Aka AttackingTucans/Tyler Sederwall and Josh Jepson): They run a let’s play versus channel where they race each other in single player games. They’re conversation can get a little (a lot) innapropriate, but I love watching their videos

My god I have a lot of let’s players

Swoozie: A funny artist who tells a lot of stories from his personal life, usually including drawings

JaidenAnimation: I love her videos and her art style is so adorable and she’s hilarious. Another artist who tells stories using art

TheOdd1sout: Another another art-life-story-teller type youtuber. He has a tumblr that he posts comics on too and they’re great!

Anna Akana: A young lady that shares stories and thoughts from her own life, very funny and it’s obvious she puts a lot of work in her videos

Daniel Howell/danisnotonfire: A british lad that shares stories and thoughts from his own life, usually at his expense. He’s hilarious and I relate to a lot of his videos, which probably isn’t a good thing honestly like my god he has a lot of existential crisis’

Channel Awesome/Nostalgia Critic/Doug Walker: He does reviews and whatnot on mostly movies and occasionally tv shows. Mostly I like his reviews and little. I dunno, side things where he asks a question/opinion on the nature of media? But I surprisingly enjoyed his and his brother’s Gravity Falls and Steven Universe vlogs. Thinking about picking up his Avatar the Last Airbender vlogs to!

86 OTP

Kisshu and Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew. My first OTP and somehow no one has ever beat them for all these years

Shion and Nezumi from No. 6. Honestly, I did not read the whole synopsis for No. 6, so I had no idea it was even a romance, but they’re so cute together and they’re just a really nice couple to see

87 country, state where you were born

U.S.A.

88 your parent’s name

Suzanne :3 (though that’s not technically her name, it’s what everyone calls her).

89 favorite snack

Raspberries!

90 pasta or pizza

Depends on the mood

91 pen or pencil

Pencil

92 blue or black ink

Blue, but only if it’s good blue ink

93 paper books or electronic books?

Paper! Electronic books just don’t hold the same feel. I feel like I’m reading a fanfiction and I just can’t get into it as much

94 history or geography?

History! Native Americans, Mayans, and Aztecs were the only times I was ever honestly interested in history

95 pastel or neon

Pastel for day, neon for nights

97 soap or body wash

Body wash

98 conditioner, no conditioner, or 2 in 1 shampoo & conditioner

Honestly only guys could use 2 in 1 shampoo/condition. And I don’t even think it’s that great for them

I have African hair, so I need conditioner man, or my hair would die

99 singing in the shower or not

I kill it in the shower

100 listen to music while bathing or silence

Usually music, but sometimes I enjoy silence

101 blow dry, towel dry, or air dry your hair

Towel/air dry. My hair gets put into braids while wet, so the water drips to the end hours after getting out (and is still wet for a few days even after it stops dripping), so it’s air-dried but there’s a towel around my neck and I sometimes squeeze/wring it out

102 morning or night showers?

If I’m allowed to pass out immediately, night showers

#personal #asks #questions

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