#Or spooky shit with Bray
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xxamorxexmortexx · 1 year ago
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Hi, Edge!
I've missed him. I hope we're getting him a good feud. Maybe with Bobby? 🤔
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misctf · 3 months ago
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Already in Costume
Happy start to October! Hoping to write a few stories to celebrate Halloween and spooky season. Enjoy!
“Bro, you’re seriously not going out tonight? It’s Halloween bro!”
Michael found it funny how offended his roommate sounds. Was it really so hard to believe that others might not want to dress up in stupid, slutty costumes and drink all night? He adjusts his glasses and looks over at his roommate.
“I much prefer to stay indoors.” He replies, “Besides, this lab report isn’t going to write itself.”
Joey looked perplexed, “Yeah, but...”
“And isn’t a bit too cold out for that.” He gestures at Joey’s getup, “I mean, what are you even supposed to be?” His nasally voice carries a condescending tone.
Joey looks down at himself. He’s topless, ensuring his muscles are on full display. Suspenders wrap around his broad shoulders, connecting to a pair of shorts that show off his bulge and bubble butt well. A pair of fake, thick rimmed glasses sit comfortably on his face.
“Dude, the alcohol will keep me warm.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, exposing his hairy pit, “And I’m a sexy nerd, dude! I mean, it’s obvious, right?”
Michael’s braying laughter fills the room. A sexy nerd? Really? For all intents and purposes, Michael knew what a nerd is. He prided himself on being one. Dressed in a pastel button down and high-waited khakis, thick-rimmed glasses, and hair neatly combed, Michael truly dressed and acted the part. Joey- not so much.
“A sexy nerd?” Michael laughs, “Oh Joey, that’s ridiculous.”
“But dude, this was your idea.”
Michael raises an eyebrow, “What?”
“Yeah, bro.” Joey smirks, “You’re the one who thought we’d look good like this.”
Michael chuckles, “You must be mistaken.” But he feels uneasy. Like something isn’t totally right, “I need to...” When he turns back to his computer, he doesn’t find his lab report. No, the college football game is on, “What?”
“What’s wrong, Mikey?” Joey is now uncomfortably close to Michael, standing over him with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“No-nothing.” His voice cracks and he tries to stand up, but Joey pushes him back into his chair, “What’re you...?”
“Don’t you remember how excited you were for this?” Joey asks, watching as Michael’s pants start to shorten, until settling about his knees, “People won’t stop staring, dude.” Michael watches as his shirt vanishes, exposing his slender figure.
“No... this isn’t...” Joey starts rubbing his thin chest, causing him to moan.
“Fuck, all those gym sessions really paid off, huh?” Joey whispers, feeling as his hand fills with Michael’s meaty pec muscles, “Fuck, and look at those.” Michael groans as his abs pop into existence, each perfectly sculpted.
“Joey... what’re you... oh god...” He moans as he feels his soft dick start to harden.
“Damn dude, fuck...” Joey whispers as he runs his hands along Michael’s growing arms. Perfectly toned biceps and triceps emerge form Michael’s once skinny arms, his shoulders rounding out with beautiful muscle, “God, you’re so fucking sexy.” Joey grinds up against Michael’s hardened cock, both of them moaning.
“Please... Joey... keep going...” Michael mumbles, lost in the moment. He can feel his ass fill out in his new shorts and watches as a pair of suspenders wraps around his broad shoulders, “Fuck...”
As the two continue to grind against one another, Michael’s glasses are knocked off. He gasps when he realizes he can see perfectly without them, but he’s distracted as Joey’s lips collide with his own. As the two kiss passionately, Michael’s thoughts are bombarded by new knowledge. Slow at first, but suddenly aggressive. Pushing out his nerdy interests.
“Wait, bro... no...” He breaks away from the kiss, his new dumb, yet sexy voice filling the air, “I’m not...”
But Joey’s lips collide with Michael’s again and the former nerd can barely think straight. He feels a calm wash over him as his stuck-up nature is replaced by that of a relaxed bro. He leans more into the kiss and more forcefully grinds up against Joey’s juicy ass. His interest in the hard sciences transitions to exercise science, while his passion for videogames becomes only focused on first-person shooters with his bros.
“What was that Mikey?” Joey breaks the kiss again and grins.
“I...I... fuck dude, keep going, please.” Mikey says, consumed in a horny lust.
“Fuck yeah, bro.” Joey grins, “But dude, we’re late to the party.”
Mikey whines, “Fuckin’ tease.” He curses.
“Don’t worry, dude.” Joey stands up, giving Mikey a nice view of his plump ass, “Patience is a virtue.”
Mikey smirked, and the two bros left for their night out. The cool air nice against their firm muscles, their egos satisfied by the lustful grins they got. But Mikey couldn’t care less. Instead, as he sipped on his beer, his only focus was on Joey’s firm ass. And the fun they were gonna have after their stupid night out.
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theworldofotps · 5 months ago
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Bálor and Bray’s SummerSlam match is one of my favorites
Just two spooky guys doing spooky shit🖤
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lexalovesbooks · 2 months ago
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Top ten best books of all time????????
Too TEN… anon I thought about this so hard. In no particular order:
Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor (sequel to Strange the Dreamer): This book. God. Amazing worldbuilding and storytelling, left me fully satisfied in a way fantasy series rarely do, also laini Taylor’s writing is just… so beautiful and unique. She’s one of the authors who I aspire to write like.
The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake: I don’t talk about this book enough. Twelfth Night retelling, beautiful and messy and hit really close to home at the time of reading, made me cry. 10/10
A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik: El Higgins my beloved!! Nothing to say except that these books are masterfully put together, funny and heartwarming and great social commentary and some of the most entertaining info-dumping I’ve ever read
Sword and Pen by Rachel Caine (final book in the Great Library series): putting this one on the list because the stress reaction I was having the entire time I read this book was genuinely unrivaled. I was on the verge of tears for 80% of the twenty-four hours I spent reading this book. 10/10, I never want to experience that kind of stress again.
Insignia by S.J. Kincaid: putting this on the list because any book series that’s had a grip on my brain for as long as this one has deserves it. They’re 100% aimed at middle school boys, i was that age when I first read them and can’t really guarantee that I’d have loved them or found them as deep as I did in the same way if I’d read them later, but man. When I finally gave into nostalgia and reread them for the first time in years as a college student, I really just had to sit there like… hang on, the silly funny books I was obsessed with in middle school are good? These books have social commentary and themes and all the things I learned to analyze in English class? It’s probably the nostalgia bias talking but I’m still inclined to say that these books are really well-put together for a ya series of it’s time.
Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray (book two of The Diviners): still my favorite book in this series… they’re all pretty good but the creepy vibes of this one were unmatched… two of my fave characters got the spotlight and I just love the brand of ghost we got in this book and the spookiness of the dream walking and dream worlds
The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang: holy SHIT this book. Kuang somehow managed to fit an entire trilogy into just this one book. And then wrote two more full books after that. It left me wrung out and in shock, the rest of the series was fantastic too but the tone shift in this one + the choice Rin makes at the end… this one has to be my favorite for sure
A Memory Called Empire + A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine: these books. They’re about aliens and hiveminds and the experience of watching your culture be subsumed by another that you love but that will never be yours. They’re about language and imperialism and lineage and ghosts and they’re some of the best books I’ve ever read
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan: this book is just a super fun time, and Elliot is one of my favorite main characters ever. He’s rude and snappy and hard to like and he knows it, he’s an unwilling jock, and he’s the most terrifying pacifist you’ll ever meet. He’s in love with his best friend, he’s not sure where he belongs, he’s trying his best. I’d die for him
The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler: this book gave me nightmares. Like, actually, multiple nightmares. It’s dark and horrific and awful, but towards the second half this shift begins and this little seed of hope starts growing, and it left such an impact on me. One of my favorite books I’ve ever read for school and also, seeing as it’s on this list, probably one of my favorite books just in general.
That’s ten! Thanks for the ask :D
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heelmox · 3 years ago
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yall thinking any surprise appearances tonight? not sure when her non-compete is up but i wanna see ember moon in aew SO bad, i want them to keep building their womens division
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adampage · 2 years ago
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the only way to have honored bray’s return was by being in the middle of a haunted trail when he made his appearance and that’s exactly what I did!!!!! me n him same wavelength I gotchu king we in that spooky shit!!!!
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blueonwrestling · 2 years ago
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do you people not remember just how bad the spooky alexa bliss x bray wyatt shit was?
like really? do you not remember JUST how bad it was?
like i’m sorry, but bray wyatt is dogshit in the ring, and the weird alexa bliss shit was awful, it was fucking weird BAD shite.
WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN THIS.
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harringrooves · 3 years ago
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Inspired by the #cherrylanechallenge day 1 prompt knife but this is not spooky at all so technically this is just a random little ficlet! AO3
The chair outside the principal's office is already taken when Billy gets there. He lets his eyes follow the trail from the clean, white sneakers up the impossibly long stretch of denim clad leg and even further upwards over the two toned striped polo shirt to the moles peeking out from just under the collar.
Steve Harrington glances up at him, then grimaces. Sighs.
"Jesus Christ," Harrington mutters.
"What are you doing here?" Billy grunts. There's no where left to sit, so he flung his jacket onto the linoleum and drops down onto it, back resting against the wall directly opposite Harrington.
Despite the distance of the entire width of the hallway between them, when Billy stretches his legs out the scuffed points of his boots almost touch the edge of Harrington's sneakers.
"Waiting for Mrs Reyes."
"Yeah, no shit."
That earns him a glare from Harrington. Billy's stomach turns a little at the disdain in Harrington's dark eyes, but it's the curiosity shining through that makes him squirm. Like an ant under a magnifying glass.
"Why're you here?"
Billy rolls his eyes, letting the familiar motion draw out the equally familiar sneer. "Same as you, dumbass."
Harrington huffs and turns away again as they both fall silent, glancing at the door every so often as the minutes tick by. It's not at all a comfortable silence. Harrington's not looking at Billy so Billy shouldn't be looking at him. But the walls are blank and the only other remotely interesting thing is the name plaque on the principal's door.
So Billy traces the letters dutifully, keeps going even when he gets nearer to the end of Reyes and stripes creep into the very edge of his vision. Even when he hears Harrington shift in the chair, moving his legs under him onto the seat then over the arms than back down to the floor. Even when Harrington asks, "You go crazy on some kid again?"
Billy goes round and round the shape of the capital R. "No. The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
Harrington laughs. It's loud and braying, and not what Billy would've guessed King Steve's laugh would sound like. He imagined something smooth and dark, something that would exude effortless charm with an undertone of something mysteriously rich and out of reach.
It just sounds like a teenage guy laughing, if a teenage guy was also part donkey. Billy would find it funny, if Harrington wasn't laughing at him. "What?" he repeats harshly.
Harrington eventually quiets. "What do I mean? The night at the Byer's, you went like, fully psycho. Your eyes were fucking dead. Did you get like that again, is that why you're here?"
Finally, Billy tears his eyes away from the plaque and meets Harrington's head on. "No," Billy says firmly. "I didn't fucking- no."
Harrington shrugs. "Whatever. Wouldn't surprise me if you did, sooner or later."
That stings. In California he was good at skating and surfing and babysitting and he was top of his class in English and History. Even after she left everyone knew him as Rosaline's boy (never Neil's), with the blonde hair and the yellow surfboard and the white smile that was a little too charming for his own good. Here in Hawkins, he was the Hargrove kid, the one who fucked and ditched, the one who fought and drank.
Maybe Billy's fine with everyone else thinking that about him, but not Harrington. Billy won't let himself think about why, but he wants Harrington see him. To look at him and think he's better than that night.
"I got kicked out of shop class," Billy bites out quietly. Harrington blinks at him.
"You got in a fight in shop-"
"I didn't get in a fight, for fuck's sake!"
Harrington holds his hands up in mock placation, bobbing his head mockingly. "Alright, alright." He stretches his leg out and lazily nudges at Billy's foot. "What'd you do then?"
"Made a knife," Billy mumbles, eyes back on the plaque.
Harrington laughs again. "You what?"
"I made a-"
"A knife, yeah." Harrington cocks his head like a little dog, some of his fringe flopping into his eye. "You know that just makes you sound even crazier, right?"
Billy just shrugs and lets his head fall back against the wall. "Wasn't for me, it was s'posed to be a gift. For- for Max." Harrington freezes.
"You were gonna make Max a knife as a gift?" It sounds like Harrington's struggling with every implication of that sentence. That Billy would gift Max something. That a knife was an appropriate gift. That Billy would care enough about anything to create something hand made.
"Yeah." He can't help but let a little bit of defensiveness slip into his tone. Billy kicks Harrington's foot away, probably a bit harder than necessary. "It was a replica of that one her character has in that stupid game her nerd friends play. Demons in Dungeons, or whatever." Dungeons and Dragons. Billy's not that stupid, but he's also not that shameless to admit to knowing what it's called. "It was a full scaled up one, even got the pattern on the handle half done."
"That's- cool," Harrington says hesitantly. "Didn't know you cared, Hargrove."
"Shitbird's birthday soon. Thought she'd like it." Billy glances over to Harrington, who's watching him with narrowed eyes. Billy coughs, shifting his shoulders a little to roll off the weight of the scrutiny. "Doesn't matter, that fucker Morrison confiscated it anyway."
Silence falls again, still just as awkward as last time but lacking a large amount of the hostility. Harrington's still watching him. The plaque's lost it's draw and Billy resorts to tracing the seams of his jeans with a fingernail.
"I'm failing English," Harrington offers abruptly. Billy's head snaps up, but for the first time Harrington's looking away as he speaks. "That's why I'm here. They're not sure if I'm gonna graduate."
"Sucks," Billy says roughly. Harrington nods slowly.
"Yeah."
Billy swallows, fingers clenching into fists atop his thighs. "I could, uh, give you my notes."
"Why would I need your notes?"
"'Cause you're failing English." Billy doesn't mean to say it like Harrington's an idiot, but those big brown eyes are wide and confused, like he's never thought about actually asking for help. "And 'cause I'm acing it."
Harrington's nose wrinkles in obvious disbelief, but he doesn't challenge it. He just sighs and lets his head loll to the side, propped up by his fist. "Yeah. Whatever. I'll do anything, at this point."
Billy nods silently. Harrington opens his mouth again, but he's interrupted by the click of the office door finally opening. Mrs Reyes pokes her head out.
"Steve," she greets him warmly. Her eyes slide over to Billy on the floor and her lips thin ever so slightly. "William."
"Hi," Billy says as obnoxiously peppy as he can manage.
"I'll see to you in a minute, after I've spoken with Steve." And then Harrington steps through into the office and the door swings shut once again.
Billy could get up and sit in the now vacant chair, but he stays right where he is until it's his turn to be called in. Harrington looks at him as he passes him in the doorway, but it's obvious that he's a million miles away, frowning at Billy but his mind no doubt occupied by something else.
Mrs Reyes doesn't ask what happened, just gives him a Friday detention and a lecture on how badly his behaviour is going to affect his record and how that's such a shame given his academic achievements. Billy lets it wash over him, not bothering to really pay attention. He's heard it all before.
When school lets out and Billy makes his way out the Camaro, he almost trips over his feet at the sight of Steve Harrington leaning against his car, twirling a knife in his long fingers.
"Here," Harrington says as soon as Billy gets close enough, holding the knife out to him blade first. Billy takes it gingerly and slips it into his jacket pocket.
"How'd you get it back?"
Harrington's chest puffs up in some god awful display of smugness as he smirks at Billy. "Morrison leaves his office unlocked during lunch. Everyone knows, it's like the number one place to make out. I was in an out, the couple in there didn't even notice me."
"That's disgusting. But, thanks, I guess-"
"Don't." Harrington holds up a hand, wincing a little. "I didn't do it for you, I think Max will really like the gift so if anything, I did it for her. And consider this payment for the notes."
"Payment?" Billy's brow furrows. "I didn't ask you to pay me." But now that Harrington's mentioned it, he definitely should have. Harrington's rich, everyone knows that. Billy could've got an easy $100 or some of the good weed Tommy's always talking about Harrington having.
"And now you don't have to," Harrington says smugly. "I give you the knife, you give me the notes. I don't want you asking me a month down the track to give you like $80 or a bag of weed or whatever in return. So there's the knife, aaaaand we're even."
Billy glowers as Harrington grins smarmily at him. "Fine. We're even. Now fuck off, some of us got places to be."
Harrington dutifully pushes off the Camaro, walking backwards towards his own car a few rows over. "Cool. Give me the notes whenever this week."
Billy doesn't say bye, just gets in his car and drives off, studiously not watching the fading image of Steve Harrington in his rear view mirror.
...
Max loves the knife. She doesn't hug him, but she nudges his shoulder with hers and declares that she's going to tie it to her belt and carry it with her at all times from now on. Neil goes purple trying to hold back his commentary on just how ladylike and appropriate for a young woman that is. Billy gets a cuff to the back of the head later, but it's worth it.
Harrington does get to graduate. He leans over from his seat beside Billy's (alphabetical order) during the opening speech of the graduation ceremony and whispers closer than necessary into Billy's ear, "Thanks, man." He doesn't so much as glance at Billy for the rest of the three hour ceremony, or during the party later that night that goes until daybreak the next morning, but it's worth it.
Billy bides his time. He can handle one more summer if it means getting enough cash to be independent when he leaves for college in a few months. Neil sucks as much as always, and driving Max everywhere cuts into the hours he's able to put in at the pool, but when she drags him to the new mall after his shift and right into the blissfully cool ice cream shop, Steve Harrington's eyes catch tellingly on the bare skin between the bottom of Billy's crop top and his tiny, red shorts and it's so, so fucking worth it.
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burningdarkfire · 3 years ago
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books i read in may 2022
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[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to msg me and ask   about individual ones if u want a full review or ask for my goodreads!!]
28 books towards my reading goal in may 🙏 heartstopper is technically my top read of the month but we all know what that’s about at this point so let me highlight smth else
at night all blood is black - david diop ★★★★★ (historical)
the first few chapters of this gut-punched me so hard i still don’t know what to do about them!! incredible story about dehumanization and war and i don’t even know what else. i still need to think about this one for a while and i’m definitely going to reread soon in the original french
heartstopper (volumes 3 & 4) - alice oseman ★★★★★ (YA romance graphic novel)
nick and charlie 💕 paris arc is cute (and way better now that i have a stronger grasp of the side characters) and my god the way i cried throughout volume 4 when all their family issues came up
radio silence - alice oseman ★★★★★ (YA contemporary)
this was a reread and oh my god the ways in which i have aged since i last read this 😂 it’s way less relatable after working an office job for a few years (it turns out that life doesn’t end even if you run the 9-5 hamster wheel), but it is still fundamentally very heartfelt and i would highly recommend it. the platonic love story at the heart of it is still so touching!
the innocents - michael crummey ★★★★☆ (historical)
if anyone is just like me and wants to read a slow-paced book about two orphaned siblings raising themselves in an insular environment and exploring both the world and themselves (yes, to be clear, this means incest) with little outside contact, then this is a great book for you!!
death in her hands - ottessa moshfegh ★★★★☆ (horror)
atmospheric, intriguing, and a great exercise for the imagination. i love books like this that never feel “solved”, you just have to take from them what you can. what a strangely euphoric ending
jujutsu kaisen (volumes 1-10) - gege akutami ★★★★☆ (YA fantasy manga)
bangers one after another. i still hate the kyoto sister school arc and i find the pacing of this series kinda whack but i am here to have a good time and gege is delivering. the classic shounen beats hit and satosugu has my interest 👀
iron goddess of mercy - larissa lai ★★★★☆ (poetry)
the wordplay and rhythm of this work is soo good and enjoyable. i love the sense of play even around heavy topics. this is poetry that should be read out loud!
before the devil breaks you - libba bray ★★★★☆ (YA historical fantasy)
libba bray writes wonderfully realized characters and relationships but the slow pace of this series is starting to grate on me. the plot feels like it only moves at the author’s convenience. the characters and relationships are really good though!
the decagon house murders - yukito ayatsuji ★★★★☆ (mystery)
this book has deep respect for the golden age of mystery and it shows. super fun read where the reader is a player, not an audience, and just the right amount of spooky!
forest of secrets - erin hunter ★★★★☆ (children’s fantasy)
solid installment. don’t have much to say about this one. the cats are meowing away and the plot is progressing
where the drowned girls go - seanan mcguire ★★★★☆ (YA fantasy)
this series is so much better when you read one a year so the fairytale style doesn’t become grating. this book is still far from subtle, but definitely subtler than previous installments in a way that i like.
the timetables of history - bernard grun ★★★★☆ (reference)
yes i flipped through a reference book page by page. no i didn’t finish it (got about ~55% of the way through to 1900) but yes it did greatly entertain me. very neat way to look at history
kim jiyoung, born 1982 - cho nam-joo ★★★☆☆ (contemporary)
this feels like reading a nonfiction article about being a woman and i hate doing shit like that because i don’t need to read something to tell me what i’ve learned just by living. it’s good at what it does (clearly, because of the feelings it evokes) but i do not have fun!
daughter of the moon goddess - sue lynn tan ★★★☆☆ (YA fantasy)
this honestly reads like a 2010 YA fantasy dystopian where we have a mary sue who has to decide between all the men who are so in love with her. it’s generally good at what it does and what it wants to be but stumbles hard coming into the ending
convenience store woman - sayaka murata ★★★☆☆ (contemporary)
some books are just perfectly competent but not outstanding or memorable in any way. this is one of them! it’s just exactly what it says on the tin
portrait of a thief - grace d. li ★★☆☆☆ (contemporary)
a heist book that absolutely, entirely, completely should not have been a heist book. the heist is by far the worst part and cripples the genuine character work the author is trying to do to explore asian-american diaspora
sun-daughters, sea-daughters - aimee ogden ★★☆☆☆ (scifi romance)
strong meh on this one. the world-building is cluttered, messy, and has way too many made up words just to drive the plot forward in a novella. the core concept of the relationship at the heart of this story is good, but its buried under too much unnecessary stuff
[DNF] seven days in june - tia williams ★★☆☆☆ (romance)
i gave this a few chapters but it’s too quirky for me. there are way too many references to pop culture and it’s just not funny or relatable to me! i even flipped ahead and spoiled myself a little to see if it gets better and nope. in fact i found out the actual premise of this book and the “seven days” and i just stopped reading lmao
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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years ago
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Hello El!!
I bring my exchange info for an matchup. If say creepypasta/marblehornets matchup for this.
So my name is Shay, I go by Whiskey because it's a preference in liquor on my end. I go by they/them pronouns, AFAB and I'm bi and omniromantic, I do have an mild preference for men or masc aligned people. I'm a Libra sun, Virgo moon and Aquarius rising. I'm also introvert (INFJ-A) and I'm constantly sleeply. I do have C-PSTD, Bipolar II and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).
I'm Caucasian/White and I stand at 5'9. I have celtic and Danish heritage, My family where vikings. I'm really tall and legs double the size of my torso, as in my thighs are as big as my torso in length, same with my calves. I call myself spider legs because of that. I have this natural like wolf cut going on that is this dark green with my roots be my natural dark chocolate brown hair. My eyes are hazel with gold flecks that shift in color which I found out is normal for people with hazel eyes. I paint my nails black a lot because I find the color pleasing. My build wise is like a rectangle like shape with broad shoulders. I'm pretty strong and I'm proud of my strength. I'm currently starting to get into shape and lose weight so I have fit shape but not like over for. Just the right amount of fat over my muscles. I have a lot of stretch marks,, mostly around my waist and my biceps. I call them my stripes or lighting marks. I have plans to get snake bite piercings and wear like the ring ones in them. I'm getting an tattoo soon that is like this and then I want a burning match tattoo on my color bone. My ears are piercing and I like wearing fake gauges, spirals and then the ratings that have the dangly stuff and cuffs with them. I also wear like those stereotypical hot topic chokers. I wear a lot of long sleeves and skinny jeans, I do like ripped skinny jeans. I also love flannels and black boots like doc martins or converse.
I think you can assume by the statement of me liking whiskey I am the rebellious sort which is true. I have drank a bit and tried weed, I don't do it anymore tho.I have been told if people don't know me and see me from afar I'm intimidating to approach. Even being spooky and intimidating, I promise I'm just a big softie. I usually assume the mom friend of the group with my friends. I always worry about them and make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes I do it so much I forget to take care of myself. I'm really gentle and compassionate, along with being extremely empathetic. I can be stubborn and bit judgemental at times, mostly working off first impressions myself when getting to know each other. I have an hard time being insertive and putting my foot down with my boundaries, scared to lose people even if the hurt me. I'm an introvert through and through, liking to watch from the back and observe the way things go on around me. I do my best to be an optimist because I can't see the point in see everything wrong in this world, it helps me to see the good. I love going on adventures with my close friends and love being a chaotic bastard with them. My dnd alignment is chaotic neutral and I'm Hufflepuff. I do live by the saying do no harm but take no shit. But I won't hesitate to fight someone for the right causes.
I do always constantly look like I am going to funeral of some sort because I own nothing but black. The color makes me feel really comfortable but it's not my favorite color. My favorite color is green but I like sage green, forest green, mossy green, etc. The earthy greens are my favorites. I have a love for the forest and woodlands, finding a sense of home in the woods. I do love archery and something I'm definitely going to be picking up along with playing the drums. I also smoke herbal cigarettes as well as alternative to smoking.
You know that I often get called a cryptid and at this point, I am just one. Cryptidcore, Midwest Gothic, and Pacific Northwest Gothic are my favorite aesthetics. I have a huge love for cryptozoology (the study of cryptids), parapsychology (the psychic phenomena and other paranormal claims), original creepypasta stories and to be honest anything like spooky and creepy. I want to be a mortician and I'm attending school for that. I also really love the dark, especially if I have some good music blasting through my earbuds. I am a sucker for long road trips and seeing things, filling the adventure heart I have. My favorite animals are coyotes and I also like horses. I like to write a lot as well. My favorite cryptids are The Beast of Bray Road, Not Deer, Jersey Devil and Jacklopes.
Thank you so much and I'm so glad I got a chance to reach out to you. It all started with me wanting to send memes to you and being a little 🌲 anon.
Also here is what the tattoo I'm am getting done looks like ↓↓↓
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Your matchup is... Jeff!
Sorry this took me a hot minute, I've been out all day! But here's my part of the exchange :}
In general:
Alright, I read this over and just immediately thought about Jeff, mostly because of your personality!! I have so many things I want to get into and want to say though. SO, let's get right into that.
Things he likes about you:
Physically speaking, as that is how I always start, Jeff really, really loves your height and your legs make him fuzzy on the inside. He just loves it SO MUCH. Your hair is gorgeous, and he's never going to stop wanting to run his fingers through it. Whatever color it's dyed as becomes his new favorite, and he loves seeing your natural hair poke through as well. Your eyes are so gorgeous in his opinion and he finds himself getting lost in them. He thinks your nails being painted black is nice because honestly, he's prone to painting his nails black as well. He finds your body so great!! Wants to hold you and loves feeling new muscles when they get built up. Regardless, he just physically adores you. Your stretch marks are also something he adores as well, and he will fondly call them your tiger stripes and admire them in their entirety. He would love your piercings and the tattoo you want to get. Also really, really loves your choice in jewelry. Chokers are hot in his opinion lmfao. Ripped skinny jeans, flannels, black boots, converse!! just everything about your style works so well with him. And your personality!! That slight rebellious edge am slightly intimidating nature??? PLEASE
General cute stuff:
I feel like the two of you are going to spend some evenings in painting nails. Jeff is slightly touch starved and will absolutely run his hands over your body and just adore everything about you. I can also see Jeff working out with you as well!! He will be your number one supporter regardless of what you're going to be doing. He finds it so sweet that you take care of other people. Jeff also understands you being an introvert, because he's kind of the same way. He would absolutely would hang back with you and just exist. He likes observing as well. However, he also can be a bit of a chaotic guy and will go on adventures with you! Scary places, nature, wherever you want, Jeff will go with you. He'll also read up on fun little places and then go with you. He will absolutely get you green things just because he knows that you like that color. Jeff will also take you on walks in the woods, and he'll also let you wear his clothing!! Jeff actually smokes weed semi-regularly, so while you smoke herbal cigarettes, he's going to be lighting up alongside you as long as you're comfortable. He'd probably like the herbal cigarettes as well. Jeff would love to hear about your love of cryptozoology! He's met so many beings in his life that fit that that he'd just go buck wild being able to tell you about his stories and experiences as well. Parapsychology is also something he'd love to listen from you. He finds you going into the mortician business so incredible, and that you like the dark. Your music?? Please share that with him!!
You two as a couple:
Jeff knows that you are intimidating but so, so sweet. He finds you so admirable and honestly, he needs that kind of caring, loving influence in his life. He finds you being the mom friend of your group super fun and while he's not a dad friend, definitely loves saying things to remind all of your shared 'kids' to listen to you. He wants you to take care of yourself!! He wants you to be kind to yourself!! You being stubborn is something he understands because honestly he can be stubborn. Judgmental? He gets it but honestly might challenge the notion from time to time. He will remind you about boundaries and how important it is to set them. Time to time, he may step in just to help you out. He will also remind you to be assertive, mostly because he would hate to see anyone take advantage of you. Jeff will read up on C-PTSD, Bipolar II, and your anxiety simply so he can be more prepared to help you in any way he can. He deals with some things himself, but he doesn't always know how to handle others. So, he would definitely read up for you and end up becoming your rock when you need it. Honestly, just let him take care of you in his own way. Rough around the edges?? Absolutely. But he's so soft for you. He will help you in any way he can, whether it be weathering the bad days and loving the good ones. Let him adore you.
Closing Thoughts/Other Things:
Hi love bug, or as I will often fondly refer to you as, Dr. Cryptid! I was so happy to read all of this about you. Thank you so so much for sending this in and once again doing mine! I loved reading all about it, and I love talking with you. Thank you so much for that lil pine tree emoji and memes. Also, please take care of yourself!! There's only one of you in the universe and it's so important to love and cherish yourself. It's always okay to say no or know when to bail. Never take care of so many people that you leave all your energy with them and none for yourself. I look forward to our future convos and just friendship in general. As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!
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seshen · 3 years ago
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So, i'm writing my spooky ass story and it's quiet in the house i'm staying at because it's late at night. I live in the middle of the desert so i usually hear the coyotes howling or yipping.
I forgot there were donkeys out here until one outside my house just starts fucking braying! Scared the ever loving shit out of me. Especially when i'm writing ghost shit.
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bathtubjohnny · 4 years ago
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Chapter 1: Rough draft (Edited once for spelling/grammar)
TW: Bloody noses, descriptions of a corpse, mild gore and swearing, spooky zombie lady, bad formatting, rushed writing
Note: Please give me your sweet sweet feedback. Oh how I crave honest and good-hearted criticism.
*Thanks to a handful of members from a group chat for convincing me to post this*
The forest was dense enough to blot out the sun, almost completely plunging the path in darkness. It didn’t bother Sydney though; he was too focused on the building at the end of it. It was a church, and he stood in front of it, staring up at the grey steeple protruding from what was left of the roof. It was a miracle that it was still standing. The walls had been scorched by fire, and the once-beautiful stained glass windows had melted into colourful, wax-like puddles. He could still smell smoke even though the church burned an impossibly long time ago. It never occurred to Sydney that the surrounding woods were completely untouched by the fire, as if it had never happened in the first place.
The inside was different as Sydney pushed the double doors open. He didn’t recognize the inside. It was more spacious than what he remembered, but like the forest, untouched by the blaze. Instead of red carpeting there was a wooden floor; instead of oil paintings depicting the trial of Jesus, tapestries with horrific, indescribable images decorated the walls. The interior had an ancient feel to it, making Sydney feel insignificant as he stood before the rows of pews. He could tell that it wasn’t a Catholic church anymore. It was a haven for a religion that existed long before the concept of Christianity.
Across from Sydney and past the pews was a stone table where the altar should have been. There was a white sheet covering something laying across it. As he padded down the aisle towards it, he could see symbols etched into the stone, characters he couldn’t recognize. The closer he got the louder his ears rang, his sinuses becoming so congested that soon fluid began leaking down his chin. It wasn’t until he reached the table and saw the bright red droplets fall onto the stark white sheet covering it that he realized his nose was bleeding.
Ignoring his instinct to wipe away the blood, Sydney reached for the edge of the sheet and pulled it back. Underneath was a girl, or at least the body of one. Her skin was ashen and waxy, a greenish-blue in colour. Small blisters had begun to form on her cheeks and forehead, as if she had been sunburnt recently. Even though they were closed, Sydney could tell that her eyes were sunken into her skull.
“Syd?”
Pulling the sheet down further, Sydney saw that the girl’s arms had been placed palms facing up, leaving the undersides of her forearms exposed. On both of them were deep gashes, starting from her wrists and ending in the crooks of her elbows. The rest of her had begun to decay, but her wounds appeared recent, oozing thicker, darker blood than what was dripping from Sydney’s nose.
“Syd, are you awake?”
The sound of her inhaling made Sydney’s attention turn sharply back to her face as her jaw creaked open, sucking in air. He stumbled away as her eyes, covered in a watery blue film, flew open. Her head turned towards him with a snap, sending him falling backwards in shock. He hit the floor hard as she sat up, bones creaking and popping as she threw the sheet off her bloated body-
“Mr.Patrick!”
Sydney bolted up from his desk as the shout tore through his dream, nearly sending him toppling to the floor. Mrs. Bray was sitting on her desk glaring directly at Sydney, arms folded. A snort of laughter to his left made him blush as he realized he’d dozed off...again. “Uh, sorry.” He mumbled, slowly sitting back down and trying to ignore the eyes on him. Although Mrs. Bray had a stern look in her eyes, Syd was somewhat comforted by the fact that she was obviously trying not to smile.
“I get that there’s ten minutes left, but let’s try to stay awake, alright?” She sighed. “To those of you who may have dozed off, I’m not repeating myself about the assignment. You can ask your group. Now,” She side-eyed the room. ‘Is there anyone who isn’t in a group of three yet?”
Syd sneaked a quick glance across the room over at his close friend Lizzie Abrams. She caught his eye and shrugged apologetically, motioning to two other girls sitting near her. Feeling his cheeks heat up, Syd averted his eyes, staring down at his desk in embarrassment.
“We don’t have a third person in our group.” The voice to Syd’s left spoke up, making him turn. It was a girl in a worn, blue and white baseball cap, someone who Sydney unfortunately recognized. Her name was Morette Woodward, better known as Mo, and Syd knew her as being the one who broke his nose during dodgeball back in fifth grade.
She had one elbow propped up on her desk and was leaning her head against her hand while picking at her braces with the other. When she caught Sydney’s eye, she flashed him a toothy smirk.
Mrs. Bray glanced between the two and shrugged. “Perfect, evens out the groups. Now,” she turned to address the rest of the class. “I’m giving the last couple minutes of class to organize your chapters, so use your time wisely. Remember your book and your portfolio should be in at least six sections!”
Portfolio? Sydney rubbed his eyes and groaned, wondering what else he’d missed. Falling asleep at random times wasn’t a problem before, but lately he'd been feeling lethargic and finding himself unable to keep his eyes open for long periods of time.
“Hey, scooch your butt over next to us so we can talk better.” Mo nodded at a tall boy sitting beside her. Sydney didn’t know who it was, but thought he looked familiar. “Yeah hold on,” he turned his chair to face them before leaning forward. “So… what’re we doing exactly?”
“Man, you were really out, huh?” The tall boy said, giving Sydney a sympathetic grin. “You were pretty twitchy too. Were you dreaming or something?”
Syd blinked. “‘Twitchy’? What do you mean?”
“Like...mumbling and tensing up a lot,” He clenched his fists in emphasis. “It was kinda creepy. What were you dreaming about?” He was already talking again before Syd could reply. “Oh shit, you don’t know me. Sorry, I’m Henry Kaminer.”
Kaminer. Sydney didn’t know Henry, but definitely recognized the last name. He remembered reading about the Kaminers in the newspaper, and made a mental note not to bring it up.
“Oh. I’m Sydney. I don’t really remember what I dreamed of.” Sydney lied. Henry laughed. “Yeah, I heard. Isn't Sydney a girl's...? Whatever, nice to meet you Sydney."
Morette handed Sydney a sheet of paper. “I had an uncle Sid so no, it's not 'a girl's name'. Anyway, literally all we have to do is split the book up to read for a week, then do some fun little questions and activities at the end of each week." She flipped through her copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. "It's like the same stuff we did in grade 5, but with racism."
So she does remember. Sydney looked over his sheet of paper. "Oh."
"Yeah, it'll be easy." Morette leaned back in her chair and scrunched her nose up. "There's 31 chapters, but they're not too long. Let's just do five chapters each week and read whatever's left when we get to the last week." She tossed a stack of pink sticky notes at Sydney. "Use those as a bookmark."
Sydney looked down at the sticky notes. “...Thanks.”
___
“Hey Syd!”
Sydney paused at the front doors of the school just as he was about to walk through them. Henry hurried over to him, lime green beanie clutched in one hand, messenger bag in the other. The tall boy stopped beside him, huffing. “Man, I jumped down the stairs to catch up to you. Sorry, anyway. Walking home?”
Sydney pushed open the doors, nodding. “Yep. What about you?”
“Same here, but uh...which way are you going?”
“To the left.”
“Sweet! Mind if I tag along?”
“Sure,” As they made their way past groups of students waiting for their buses, they started walking down the sidewalk towards the nearby neighbourhoods. Syd, who barely made it to Henry’s elbows, couldn’t help but feel self-conscious with the giant beside him. “Do you live close to the school?” He asked. Henry shrugged. “Well, not really. To be honest I’m just tagging along to avoid my older brother, Marvin.” He chuckled a bit, but it sounded forced. “He’s got his driver’s licence and all, but…”
“But what?” Syd asked. Henry sighed. “He’s an asshole. I don’t feel like dealing with his anger issues today. So I’m here with you instead, little man. If that’s cool with you,”
“I’m not that little! But yeah, it’s cool.”
“Yeah you are, shortstack!!” Henry guffawed and rubbed the top of Sydney’s head with one hand. Syd swatted at his arm, but joined in the laughter. The two boys continued talking and joking around as they continued trekking down the street towards a crosswalk. The weather was warm for being early September, the sun beaming down on them helping to keep Sydney in high spirits.
The first week of school had been rough for him; being as timid as he was, making friends was hard enough in elementary school, never mind being in a new environment. For the longest time he’d considered Lizzie to be his closest friend, but they’d drifted apart over the summer, making him feel even more isolated than ever. As he listened to Henry telling him about his pet cat, Bowie, he felt a ray of hope that maybe he wouldn’t have to be so lonely after all.
“...he’s a really sweet boy, but he’s pretty ugly,” Henry was telling Syd. “He’s got this weird skin condition though so there’s like almost no hair on his body. I think it’s kinda hilarious, but every time he sits down his butthole sticks to our table.”
Syd snorted. “Gross.” He stopped at the edge of the crosswalk as the traffic light turned red, Henry following suit. “I don’t have any pets. My mom’s allergic to animal hair. It makes her sneeze.”
“Damn. No siblings either? Sounds quiet.” Henry leaned against a pole covered in colourful flyers and shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand. Sydney took a couple steps back so he was standing in Henry’s shadow and decided that tall people weren’t that bad. “Hey,” he said. “My house is just up ahead, what about you?”
Henry shrugged and shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets. “Not me little man, I’m heading to the right but maybe I can come over and wreak havoc at your place sometime.” He flashed Sydney a grin and straightened up, a couple flyers sticking to him before fluttering to the ground. “Whoops, those seemed important.”
Syd rolled his eyes and laughed as Henry stooped down to scoop them off the sidewalk. “Nice going there, big guy.” He joked. “Careful you don’t bring the pole down too.” Henry didn’t respond; instead he slowly stood up, clutching a white flyer and staring down at it. Sydney felt his smile fade when he saw the dismayed expression on Henry’s face.
“...What is it?”
Henry swallowed hard before handing Sydney the poster. The white paper was crumpled and soft from being left outside, showing signs that it had been there a while. A photo of a man with a goofy grin and a buzzcut holding a balding cat was in the center. The words were in bright red at the top of the page as he read them.
MISSING PERSON
Jeremiah Lee Kaminer
Also goes by ‘Jerry’
19 years old, blue eyes, blonde, slim build, 6’0”
Last seen November 27th wearing a leather jacket, blue jeans, and brown hiking boots. If you have seen him or have any information of his whereabouts, please contact the Denville City Police.
“Henry,” Sydney glanced up from the page. Henry was fidgeting in place, avoiding making eye contact. “Is he...?”
“Yeah,” he mumbled, staring at the ground. “It’s our oldest brother. He’s been missing for over a year. Went into a bar one night for a drink, and just…. Never came out.” A cold gust of wind sent the remaining flyers drifting down the sidewalk as they caught the breeze. Henry’s hands tightened around the poster, creasing the paper before he folded it into a square. “Whatever. I gotta go.” He turned and started heading down the street, leaving Sydney alone.
Syd watched him walk away, wondering whether he should call out or not. Deciding not to, Sydney went home, ignoring the icy loneliness that had begun to creep back.
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vagrantblvrd · 4 years ago
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I'm a slut for anything Destiny right now, so uhhhhh maybe something involving that? (On another note, boo for pushing back BL to November, yay for having more time to work on it)
Lol, same, friend! XD
So, like. Much as I love other Destiny AUs I’ve blathered on about before, what do you say about a Battle Buddies in the Destiny universe?
Like, say.
These two idiots working for Clovis Bray during the Golden Age, right? Troubleshooters or just a pair of mercenaries that somehow ended up on the Clovis Bray payroll.
Or maybe they start off as regular security operatives who earn a reputation for being particularly clever and resourceful. Ruthless, some might say, in protecting Clovis Bray’s interests.
They catch the eye of some higher up, get reassigned to a special division in security which happen to be troubleshooters and the like?
Operatives given more leeway/authority than the usual Clovis Bray security operative and it’s actually good for a while, right?
Certainly good enough from them to to from coworkers to that guy they see almost every day and have a few things in common with to actual friends. And that, okay, in the world of fanfic is a slippery slope to Mutual Pining.
And such tropes as being snowed in at a tiny, wonderfully cozy cabin once they get a fired started and realize sharing body heat is the only solution to not freezing to death anyway?
Also sharing a bed while on a trip somewhere and a mixup/convenient other reason there would only be a room with a single bed available for them.
Not to mention the quiet revelation that the other one knows exactly how they take their coffee (whatever diet soda equivalent exists in the universe at that time for Ryan), or what their favorite food is (and second, third and so on in case substitution is necessary). Know what their favorite color is and cats vs dogs.
(A hotly debated topic between them, one that Jeremy declares could be a friendship killer because dogs, Ryan, really? With their borking and happy little faces and utter joy at seeing their human?
Pls.
Meanwhile, Ryan with this little smirk to his voice as he needles Jeremy over the little herd of stray cats he swears aren’t actually his and yet are all fixed and chipped and yowl their little heads off the moment they catch wind/sight of Jeremy and anyway, dogs are clearly better because Ryan says so, therefore it’s true, Jeremy.
(Neither of them realize if they were animals - omg, were-creatures in Destiny universe???? :O - Jeremy is obvs a bork-bork doggo and Ryan a snooty mcsnoot (sekritly soft touch because srsly) kitten-cat and just, tangent I know, but omg.)
Also, though?
Also.
It means all these little things that add up to oh, no, I’m absolutely fucked over this asshole/idiot, because they are and now that they know they can’t stop seeing it, you know?
Jeremy’s :D when he sees Ryan at work and Ryan’s own >:D when he sees Jeremy because up to no good, the both of them? And smaller, quieter things they didn’t really think about and oh man, what now???
But then, also!
The two of them with their special division in Clovis Bray’s security branch...deal...thing where they ends up working with the shadier side of things?
Mostly play security on off-world projects or labs that pop up when new discoveries are made and said discovery can’t be moved/hasn’t been moved to a more secure facility and such.
Security there just as much to protect the discovery/artifact/device than keep the scientists/staff/executives visiting the site safe and so on. (Occasional Adventures because business rivals and shady practices and Drama.)
It’s all good for a while, lets them stew in their Mutual Pining phase and just as they’re about to maybe, maaaaybe do something about it Trouble!!1! happens.
Both of them are at the “I need to talk to you about this...thing,” stage of things and thinking oh, no, he knows I have the FEELINGS for him and the :O!!1! of what could mean for their ~friendship and so on?
But then Ryan gets called to the Clovis Bray facility on Mars in Meridian Bay while Jeremy stays behind, which isn’t unheard of for them?
But it’s rare when the company separates them. know they’re far more effective as a team and so on, but the call comes from the top and they can’t just say no, so Ryan goes.
Has a Bad Feeling and Jeremy knows him well enough to pick up on it, but pretends he doesn’t, that everything’s fine even though there’s been more chatter on restricted frequencies - Clovis Bray and otherwise - for a few days now, something big going down that’s effecting everyone.
This growing concern/panic leaders are trying to keep under wraps while they figure out how to handle it and so on.
And, look, they’ve been in the business long enough to know to trust Bad Feelings and suchlike? But Jeremy’s all :D because Ryan’s so worked up and he’s trying to reassure him they’ll be fine, you know? Damn good at their jobs and nothing’s managed to kill them yet.
(Yet being the keyword there, Jeremy, as Ryan keeps telling him when Jeremy’s a few drinks in on a slow night and they’re just enjoying one another’s company and sharing stories and yeah.)
Anyway.
Ryan heads to Mars and Jeremy sticks behind and somewhere in between that the Collapse happens, because of course it does.
Just a big ol’ kaboom-level disaster in which they both end up super, duper dead?
But then they get better.
Kind of?
Because, look.
Ryan gets all kinds of fucked up during the kaboom-level disaster and he’s in a Clovis Bray facility and there’s the whole...Exo thing, right?
Hand-wavy shenanigans all over the place in which he’s Exo-fied just before everything goes to hell (really goes to hell) and he comes online or whatever they call it just in time to die again.
(Doesn’t remember the first one, because fleshy human body all fucked up and coding on the table and uh, wow, yes. Also Ryan and his Thing for androids in Sky Factory 4 and also just robots and the like in general, so yeah?)
Anyway.
Ryan dies (again) during the collapse in a shiny Exo body and no time at all to address that, which.
Perfect?
Perfect.
Years go by as the sands of Mars start to bury human cities and whatnot, and along comes a Ghost.
Ryan’s Ghost, to be matter of fact.
Little bastard’s been looking for its Guardian for a long, long time by the time it gets to Mars, seen a lot.
And for whatever reason when it’s poking about this half-buried Clovis Bray facility and stumbles on this shiny new (not so much) Exo decides ah, yes, this one is the one I’ve been looking for all this time.
Ryan gets resurrected on Mars, wakes up choking on dust and sand (or maybe it’s just his mind telling him that’s what’s happening, because Exo? who knows) and this goddamn floating ball of metal and light and sass in front of him.
The Clovis Bray facility is a disaster and the Cabal haven’t found it yet (yet) but they’re going to any day and anyway, anyway, not a good idea to stick around a dead place like that.
His Ghost brought him back a few years after the Collapse, Dark Ages days still, before things like Iron Lords or fancy classes like Titans or Warlocks or Hunters.
Is something of a cross between a Titan and a Warlock in temperament and abilities and understandably a little leery of his little Ghost buddy? Like what even is it/he?
But also, also?
Ryan remembers, okay.
For whatever reasons, he remembers.
Wakes up in a Clovis Bray facility - was there meeting with some higher-ups about concerns they had about some incoming trouble and reluctant to pull both of them from their assignment.
Figured Ryan could speak for them both, and then kaboom, the Collapse and his Exo-fication which he really, really should not remember? But hard to deny the proof and such, and maybe his Ghost is able to pull some information from the computers around them
(And the what the actual fuck and I did not agree to that when I signed my contract and what the fucking fuck and so on of dealing with that on top of everything else and it’s just. It’s a lot to process.)
He remembers his previous life, although there are some gaps and the whatnot - maybe that’s what happens when you die and some sassy floating orb resurrects you, Ryan doesn’t have a frame of reference for these things okay - and from what his Ghost is saying people shouldn’t do that?
Especially with the Exo-fication process and anyway, anyway, yes.
So he keeps quiet about it for the moment, all this oh shit, and fuck, Jeremy and that in the back of his mind and initial wariness of his Ghost and what that’s all about.
Finds a way to get them back to wherever he and Jeremy were assigned - grab a jumpship from the Clovis Bray facility and leave Mars and it’s dead cities behind headed towards Earth because where else would they go?
But also maybe there are others like Ryan and while they’re out here might as well check to see if there are? Bring any survivors and such back with them if they can.
All they find are cities in ruin and the dead, though.
Worse, places where the dead should be, but aren’t.
Because spooky.
But also Bad Things, not all of which are due to the other races the Darkness introduced to humanity, because you know, humanity at its worst and so on.
Still, it gives Ryan the chance to learn about his new body, and his Light-given abilities, to trust them, and weirdly enough bond with his Ghost.
Gives the poor thing a name like Reggie or some other terrible thing that has it sighing and all that at him as humans are just super weird about stuff like that?
But at the same time it’s a name, something more than just Ghost. Which. Not an insult? But still, a name.
When they get to where Ryan and Jeremy were stationed he’s not really expecting to find Jeremy after everything else they’ve seen along the way. Odds stacked against them from the start and all that, and he’s not surprised to find the facility torn open and broken down.
Finds bodies here and there, doesn’t want to look closer but he can’t not at the same time.
Recognizes a few of them, scientists and staff and some security operatives he and Jeremy worked with.
Reggie clearly knows Ryan’s lying about not remembering anything, but chooses not to call him on it at the time.
Not when there’s this...rawness to him as he explores the place he lived and worked in who knows how many years go. Finds the bodies and other remnants of a life (long past, ended violently in the Collapse along with those of everyone else there.
Listens to messages people left before, during, and after the Collapse.
Usual day-to-day things, work logs or personal journals that tick over into calls to supervisors over unusual readings and the like? And then towards the end and staticky and all that, warnings to whoever stumbles across the facility.
Breached containment and toxic chemical ruptures and all that that had to be locked down.
(The handful of people on the other side of it, either too slow or too goddamned brave, sacrificing themselves for the others even though they knew it wouldn’t matter much in the end, and doing it anyway)
Sightings of unknown creatures - beings? Roaming the area outside the facility while its security measures were still active, what remaining security operatives going to confront them and not returning, or dragging themselves back to safety just to die with some cryptic words on what they’d seen out there.
Final words of survivors doomed to die either by whatever was on the other side of the fences and security measures once they inevitably failed or some other cause. (Exposure to toxins/radiation or other fun things. Starvation, etc. No need to worry about old age or natural causes because yeah no, not in the cards for them.)
That cheerful kind of stuff, you know?
Ryan and his Ghost digging into the computers they could and watching footage, watching people he knew a lifetime ago dying.
Watching Jeremy taking charge of things, having to order people to their deaths in the days after the Collapse whether it be to containment breaches or enemies at their gates and so on.
A few logs and personal videos Jeremy left, ones that Ryan makes copies of for himself - Reggie makes copies of everything they find, but Jeremy’s are just for Ryan, you know?
All of what they find may be useful one day, important, but Jeremy’s are just for Ryan. (Reggie safeguards those like you wouldn’t believe because they’re obviously important to Ryan.)
One of Jeremy’s videos are of him in the cramped quarters he and Ryan had to share, half a wall missing and all that because of course.
More rubble than room at that point, and yet it’s where he decided to record that video message.
All quiet and sad and hopeless because no rescue is coming for them, and look, okay, look.
He knows Ryan has to be dead by that point, otherwise his Battle Buddy would have come for him and the others, Clovis Bray be damned.
And Jeremy’s not quite looking at the camera as he just.
Confesses?
Tells Ryan - this one video is for Ryan even though Jeremy’s certain he’d never see it now, but he can’t not and he’ll probably be dead before long anyway, so fuck it, right?
So Jeremy tells Ryan all about the Mutual Pining he was doing leading up to the Collapse, right? All the reasons he fell head over heels for his idiot Battle Buddy and fear of fucking things up between them not knowing if Ryan felt the same and just.
A lot of FEELS going on there?
And then he talks about the Bad Feeling of Ryan’s and the call for him to go to Mars while Jeremy stayed behind.
Tells him he knew something was off, wrong, that something big was coming and goddamn does he hate being right about that kind of thing?
And then, okay.
There’s this tired little laugh, and Jeremy looking right into the camera.
Looks tired, worn down. Like he hasn’t slept in days (hadn’t, most likely) and lost too much weight and right on the edge of breaking.
Tells Ryan with this tired little laugh and tired little smile that he loves him, and he’s sorry he wasn’t brave enough to tell him when he had the chance and all these other heartbreaking things before ending the video.
(Delicious Angst.)
Ryan can’t find any other videos or anything from Jeremy after that, but there are references to the last of the security operatives patrolling the facility and running into opposition. Mentions of them not returning, of the other survivors being on their own and -
Ryan and Reggie go looking, because of course they do.
Find bodies, human and otherwise, but there’s a goddamn hole blown into the side of the facility. Fucking crater that opens up into an underground cavern and no safe way down.
Which, fine.
Ryan jumps, and Reggie brings him back.
Again and again and again until they reach the bottom, and then it’s this endless network or caves and tunnels and they could spend a lifetime looking, but enemies - Fallen? - and too many for one lone Light-bearer and their Ghost and he hates it, hates it, but they can’t stay.
Get back to Earth and kick around there for some time, all the while Ryan working on a way to get back to the facility to find Jeremy and lay him to rest or whatever’s going on in his head.
Runs across this shady bastard who (of course) turns out to be the Drifter and they become...not friends so much as acquaintances and all that? Don’t really trust one another, but they’re not enemies either.
The Iron Lords happen, Ryan and Reggie keeping an eye on things because you never know, and then the thing with SIVA happens and everything after that.
Hop around the system (venture a little beyond it for a time before coming back) and are like.
Bemused at these Guardians they find running around?
Like.
Yeah, okay, interesting, but he and Reggie were there for the Iron Lords and surely it’s only a matter of time until the Guardians go the same way?
But...they don’t?
They even build themselves this City under the Traveler and seem to thrive. Guard (heh,) the remnants of humanity that take shelter in the Traveler’s presence and all that.
Watches them branch out, sees the formation of the Vanguard and the Consensus and all that.
And they don’t go unnoticed either, this weird Light-bearer Exo and his Ghost that have been around for a long, long time.
Are considered allies to the Vanguard and Tower and all that? But not to be trusted at the same time.
Not enemies, just.
Need to be taken with a grain of salt, and also for the love of all that’s holy, do not let them around baby Guardians because they’re kind of terrible?
But yes.
Ryan’s around for all the shenanigans in the first Destiny, but doesn’t get involved himself because he’s no Guardian, you see.
Does, however, do things like message the Vanguard when there’s unusual activity among the Fallen or whichever race is hellbent on wiping humanity out that time.
Tips off Ikora’s hidden that something’s going on in the Plaguelands when the Fallen get into SIVA and so on, checks in on Lord Saladin to see how he’s doing, that kind of thing.
And then the Cabal come to Earth and Ryan’s at the edge of the system at the time, but he definitely feels it when the Cabal manage to lock away the Traveler’s Light.
He and Reggie make their way back to Earth because what the hell is going on?
And they get there just in time for some asshole to kick Ghaul’s ass and the Traveler awakening and all that?
And it’s like, well, shit, because things are going to be in disarray for a while, aren’t they?
Usually that means the Vanguard reaching out to him and those like him to help where Guardians can’t.
Stealth and shady shit and other things the Vanguard seems to turn their noses up at because not exactly Noble, the things people like Ryan get up to, but still needed.
Anyway, off he goes, coordinating with Ikora’s Hidden and all that and he’s all over the place for a while.
Goes back to the Tower and happens to catch a glimpse of someone in armor and is like !!!
It’s the Tower, and all the Guardians wandering around in armor is far from unusual?
BUT.
This asshole is sporting some hideous shader that somehow manages to combine purple and orange with yellow trim and it’s this whiplash moment of !!! for Ryan because!
Or fucking course Jeremy and his bullshit color scheme back when they were working for Clovis Bray, you know?
Shit-eating grin at Ryan’s :O face the first time he realized what a monstrous human being Jeremy was and delighting in it every moment afterwards.
And Ryan, right. Far from an expert on all the shaders out there, but he’s pretty sure Eva would never dare create such a thing as it would be akin to a crime against humanity, and yet.
Ryan sneaks about following the Guardian - a goddamned Titan because of course it is - and maybe gets a little sloppy about it.
Because FEELS and also being a little out of his mind over the coincidence?
Anyway, anyway, he ends up getting cornered in a little alley somewhere down in The City. No one else around for blocks and an understandably peeved Guardian facing him down.
“Hey, pal,” he hears, seemingly friendly enough but there’s an edge to the words all the same. “There a reason you’ve been following me for the last few hours?”
The Guardian’s got their helmet on, because of course, but there’s -
Ryan knows that voice.
(Of fucking course he does.)
Stares and stares and stares because oh, okay, this has to be it, you know? He’s been alive for a few hundred years by this point, and sooner or later he’d lose it, because of course he would, right?
Exo-fied without consent and tossed into the life of a Light-bearer - again, without consent although he’s more okay with Reggie’s actions than the scientists at Clovis Bray who Exo-fied him - and made sense he’d go mad at some point.
Because no way in hell is that Jeremy he’s looking at. No damned way.
AND YET.
It totally is Jeremy, although he goes by Rimmy Tim now (lololol, I’m so, so sorry) and doesn’t remember his previous life at all and oh, God his poor Ghost is sporting a shell in the same hideous purple/orange shader and why did it have to be this way?
But also seriously, Ryan being blue screen of death over the whole Jeremy is a goddamned Guardian now???
Apparently resurrected following the Red War and new to the whole Guardian deal.
Ryan tries to stay away because he’s got all these issues to sort out and doesn’t want to scare Jeremy away/make him hate him/who even knows what he’s thinking at that point?
But it doesn’t stick because Jeremy’s alive.
Doesn’t know Ryan or the fact they were this close to figuring their shit out before the world ended around them and things got seriously fucked up.
Thinks Ryan’s some weird shady dude along the lines of the Drifter and all that? Which, to be fair, he is?
BUT.
Zavala and Ikora trust him, and Cayde did too.
Ryan keeps tabs on Jeremy the whole time because like hell is he not going to do that?
But he tries his best to keep his distance for Jeremy’s sake and all?
And then there’s a Situation the Vanguard need him to look into, and would he like help with this one?
And Ryan, okay.
Ryan.
Does his damndest to be good about this, not drag Jeremy into things, but Zavala’s a clever bastard.
Has noticed Ryan’s obvious - to Zavala and Ikora, and even Cayde’s amusement/understanding before he died - interest in Jeremy.
And weirdly, conveniently, Jeremy knocks on the door to Zavala’s office while Ryan’s in there talking to him about this Situation.
“Uh, am I interrupting?”
And Zavala gives Ryan this little smirk.
“Rimmy Tim is a promising young Titan,” he says. “Clever. Resourceful. I think he would prove to be a great asset in this endeavor.”
And Jeremy, okay.
Keen on helping the Vanguard with things like this Situation, and he’ll admit to being curious about weird, shady Ryan and how he fits into things, and anyway.
Ryan doesn’t have much choice in the matter about it all, and before you know it the two of them are out investigating weird shit together.
Ryan barely keeping his shit together the whole time because Jeremy is so fucking Jeremy even though he doesn’t remember anything about his previous life.
Reggie is like, super concerned and doesn’t sass Ryan more than a couple of times a day due to said concern.
Jeremy’s Ghost is like, dude, what the hell? While Reggie is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because hahaha, Light-bearers are just weird as hell, right?
Their investigations take them back to Mars and the same Clovis Bray facility where Ryan was Exo-fied and it’s.
Jeremy doesn’t know what’s up with Ryan and Reggie, but once Ryan quietly mentions that oh, hey, yeah. This is where they turned me into this *gestures at himself with this weird hollow/bitter laugh because yes* and then he died, and also Reggie found him years later and so on?
And Jeremy’s like shit, dude, and also, oh, okay thinking that’s why they’re being super weird?
But then they find records and some video of human!Ryan way back before and Jeremy’s fucking riveted, okay.
Human!Ryan talking to one of his bosses about an assignment they’re going to send these Battle Buddies off on - Jeremy looking over at Ryan when he flinches or something along those lines and thinks, oh, man, poor guy, because apparently Ryan had a partner way back when?
Someone the Clovis Bray bigwig talks about with this amused/fond look on their face like the two of them were inseparable and all that? Force to be reckoned with and all that.
And!
Of course that’s when the bigwig’s office door opens to let the other half of the Battle Buddies in.
“What the fuck?”
Because, hey, wow, would you look at that? That’s fucking Jeremy sauntering on in with a little grin on his face and all that, tossing human!Ryan a look before giving the Clovis Bray bigwig a nod and no, seriously, what the fuck.
This whole Thing where Ryan stiffly (because dealing with all these EMOTIONS about Jeremy and terrified he’d - rightly so - want nothing to do with Ryan because of the everything) tells him that yeah, so.
They totally knew one another way back when? Worked together and so on and all this and just.
Yeah.
Jeremy’s Ghost manages to salvage more videos of the two of them - sparring in Clovis Bray gym facilities and the whatnot and training/demonstrating/whatever for security operatives?
Ryan leaves him to it while he and Reggie go poking about the rest of the place pretty much expecting Jeremy to tell them he wants nothing to do with them once they’re done with whatever the Vanguard has them doing?
But no, okay, no.
First of all, Jeremy’s super weirded out, but he’s not mad? OR he doesn’t think he is???
It’s complicated.
What he does know is that he and his Ghost like Ryan and Reggie, are starting to think of them as friends, even.
And then, okay, and then?
There’s also the fact that with a different perspective Jeremy can totally fucking see how fucking head over heels he and Ryan were for one another?
The way they look at one another, okay, that alone.
Can’t tell if they were an official? Thing and it feels cruel to ask Ryan, considering Jeremy doesn’t remember him? So he doesn’t.
Just.
Decides he’d like to get to know Ryan now, see what happens and all that?
Ryan’s like ??? because he was not expecting that? Is a little reluctant because what if it’s a mistake? He still loves the shit out of Jeremy, pre-Collapse and now, but maybe that’s not what’s best for Jeremy?
Tries to tell him that, but Jeremy’s not having it.
Like, will honestly leave Ryan alone if he genuinely wants him to considering their past and the emotional roller coaster Ryan’s been on since pretty much forever?
But if it’s all the same to Ryan Jeremy would like to keep working with him?
And they do, because Ryan thinks he’s too much a selfish bastard to tell Jeremy no, and Jeremy kind of feels the same?
They deal with the Situation together (Battle Buddies, fuck yeah) and when they report back to Zavala he’s all HMM at them, but doesn’t comment on things and it just.
Becomes this understood Thing that Ryan and Jeremy are a team now, going all over the place to deal with things Ikora’s Hidden sniff out or some “friend” of Ryan’s want them to look into.
Ryan quietly Suffering because Jeremy’s still so very Jeremy and yet a completely different person. Jeremy falling for Ryan because of course he does, and Ryan keenly aware of it at some point.
(Stopped lying to himself about things like that a long time ago, or maybe he’s too tired to lie to himself about them now, who knows.)
Looks at Jeremy one night, the two of them camped out in a shell of a building and just.
Sighs.
Takes out the batch of recordings and videos Jeremy left behind at the end and gives them to Jeremy because...he doesn’t know why, really.
Just thinks it’s important he sees them for himself before he says something he might regret. (Does something he might regret, idk.)
And then off Ryan goes to keep watch or patrol the area or whatever and conveniently not be there while Jeremy watches his past self confessing his love to Ryan like that was a mistake he never got to make in person or something?
It makes no goddamned sense, and Jeremy’s a bit of an emotional mess by the end of it because jfc, he past him was a complete idiot, and both Ryans are too?
Past Ryan just for being a dense idiot the same as past Jeremy, present Ryan because he’s been carrying those recordings along with him for ages, and the whole Guilt about not finding Jeremy’s body to lay him to rest way back when.
The Guilt about knowing who Jeremy was when he met him again and not telling him (that makes Jeremy a little angry because dude, seriously?), and yet again more Guilt for not telling him about the Mutual Pining?
And just.
He yells at Ryan a hell of a lot when he tracks him down, finds him on a rooftop staring up at the stars while Reggie watches over him.
Realizes Ryan’s looking towards the sector of space where he and Ryan were stationed when the Collapse happened, that the idiot probably made a habit of doing so after Jeremy died because Delicious Angst?
He yells, but there’s no real heat to it because Jeremy’s a wreck, and also he gets it?
Doesn’t know Ryan super well, just yet, but enough to see why he’d do/think some of the things he has.
Feels...not guilty, exactly, but something in that he doesn’t remember Ryan or the lives they had before all...this, but.
They’ve got a second chance, and maybe, maybe they could do something with it?
Not saying they have to, necessarily, but.
Uh.
They do make a good team, and all that, and -
Ryan’s just looking at Jeremy like he doesn’t know what to say (it’s true) and kind of like he thinks he may be dreaming this (he’s not) and Jeremy’s afraid he’s saying all the wrong things?
But then.
It’s like
That could be a thing they could do, become Battle Buddies 2.0 and let Zavala know he only has himself to blame for it, so of course they do, you know?
Go off and Adventure about, causing Zavala headache after headache and getting these little smiles out of Ikora and such.
And one day maybe they get their shit together and finally freaking do something about all the FEELINGS the have for one another.
Get it right this time, with the love confessions and smooches - or like, whatever it is Exos do in that regard?
But yes.
Also they run into the rest of the AH bunch at some point, a few of which are some of Ryan’s shady friends, because of course they are. >:D
(ALSO, omg, yessss? I was like aw, man, not again Bungie :((((((((((((((( even though I totally understand the reasons for the delay? Like. I want the shinies of new content and omg, EXO STRANGER :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD right now? But also omg, yes Bunige, please take the time you need. XD)
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thiswasinevitableid · 6 years ago
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A Call for Help
The second fic for the “wrong numbers” anon. For the prompt: you misdial at a telephone booth and ask in a very upset voice if I can pick you up, and I don’t know why, but I ask where you are so I can pick you up” for Sternclay.
Barclay blinks awake to the ring of the phone, eyes the clock. It’s 2 am and he panics, assumes Mama, or Aubrey, or Duck or someone is in a fix.
“H’lo?”
“This is Agent Stern, I’m at coordinates” there’s a buzz of static, though Barclay just manages to jot down the numbers the man says, “I’m, it’s, oh god, the car, the car is busted and the target is definitely here and I need help, I need-”
There’s a howl on the other end of the line in the distance and the man gasps, and Barclay is already pulling on his clothes.
“Stay put, okay? I’ll come get you. Look for the pick-up.”
“Pick-up? Wait, shit, shitshit, you’re a civilian, I dialed-it doesn’t matter, do not come it’s too dange-”
Barclay clicks the phone off, plugs the coordinates into the map app. Just as he’d feared, he recognizes the name of where they’re sending him: Bray Road
----------------
He barrels away from the city and down county roads, hurling curses at his past self.
See, there’s this gate to another world, located near Devils Lake. Some who come through it, like Barclay, have been cast off from their home. Others are not so friendly, are bloodthirsty and dangerous. Barclay and Mama, along with a few other individuals, make sure that second group are destroyed.
But sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes, he misses tracks, and they can’t find a creature until it’s too late, until it can break the initial radius from the gate and roam free.
Sometimes, an abomination becomes an urban legend. That doesn’t make it any less of a threat.
He’s on Bray Road, and up ahead he sees a car pulled to the side. There’s no lights, no sign of anyone even in the damn thing.  
Once he parks the truck, he approaches the car, flashlight in hand. Surveys the front, which looks like it hit something very, very large. And then he yelps, throws up his hands when someone pops up from behind it, weapon drawn.
“...Oh for the love of, I told you not to come!” The figures arms drop to its sides.
“You’re welcome.” Barclay deadpans, “But I guess if you’ve got another ride coming…”
“No, but I’ll, it’s OW!” Barclay aims the flashlight at the man, Sterns, face, making him flinch.  He lowers the beam to stop blinding him, takes in his face: dark hair, sharp cheekbones, brown eyes. He looks familiar. And he looks scared.
He should be.
“Look, you woke me up and are clearly in some kind of trouble. So how about you get in the truck so we can get the hell out of this spooky field?”
Stern opens his mouth to argue when there’s a rustling in the distance and, under it, a growl. Barclay is this close to hauling him over his shoulder and chucking him into the truck when he reaches into the car, grabs a small black bag, and jerks his head towards the vehicle. Just as they get in and Barclay starts the engine, the cornstalks in front of the dead car shake. Stern sucks in his breath and Barclay prepares to drive like a demon.
A deer emerges, investigates the car, and they both exhale as Barclay turns back towards the city. When he glances in the rear-view mirror, the deer is on the ground. And something with red eyes is looking back at him.
He really hopes Stern didn’t see that.
They drive in silence.
“Thank you.” Stern says softly.
“You’re welcome.” Barclay says, meaning it this time. “What were you doing out here this late?”
“I was on a stakeout looking for a cryptid. It found me and I, well, I wasn’t prepared. It totaled the front of the car when it leapt out of the dark. I bought myself time firing on it  but…” He shudders.
“I called you because I thought you were another agent staying in town.”
“Hey, not the first time someones hit the wrong number.” Barclay doesn’t like seeing people upset, tries to switch from fight or flight mode into something more comforting.
“But it was saved in my phone. I don’t know why. I meant to hit the number above it. Then again, when I did call the right person they said I’d spooked myself. Which is something I’ve heard before but, well, it is more distressing when one is trapped in the dark miles from help.”
“Glad you misdialed, then.” Barclay smiles softly, relaxes as the lights of the city come into view, “where are you staying?”
“The Amnesty Lodge.”
“So that’s why you look familiar.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m the cook there.”
“Oh. I, uh, come to the restaurant quite often. It’s exquisite. Some of the best food in the city.”
Barclay puffs up a bit at that, flashes a bigger smile his passengers way and his heart skips a beat; Stern is looking at him almost shyly, features much more charming now that they’re no longer laced with fear and annoyance.
Then Stern groans, thunks a hand against his forehead.
“Lord, I saved the number for the restaurant in my phone so I could call for reservations when I needed to. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s no big deal. A friend of mine likes to fuck with me by rerouting that number sometimes. And like I said, I’m glad you called so you weren’t stuck out there with god-knows-what.”
“You believe in the beast too?”
“No” he lies “but there are still coyotes and such, and those suckers can do damage if they’re pissed.”
“My car wasn’t attacked by a coyote.” Stern says, unamused.
“Not saying it was. Just that there are lots of things out here that can hurt a guy.”
Stern doesn’t say anything else, and Barclay finds himself searching from something to talk about that doesn’t force him to lie the entire time.
“You ever heard of the Hodag?”
“One of the great american hoaxes.”
“Oh yeah? How do you know?”
Stern looks prepared to argue or defend himself until he realizes that Barclay genuinely wants an answer and isn’t teasing him. Relaxes into his seat.
“Well, since you ask…”
-----------------------------
Should Barclay be worried that he wants to befriend this FBI agent who could very well discover the secrets he and Mama work so hard to hide? Yes
Should he also be worried that said FBI agent is sound asleep on his bed, having forgotten his room key in the abandoned car only to fall asleep while Barclay procured a new one?  Also yes.
But he looks so peaceful, and a little adorable. Barclay sits on the edge of the bed, toes off his shoes.
He’ll just lay down while he sets his alarm, then wake Stern up.
His eyes snap open sometime later when an intense pressure encircles his chest. He panics until he looks over his shoulder to see Stern had curled up around him during the night. The pressure is because the man is twitching in his sleep, making distressed sounds. Then he gasps, sits up, panting and wide-eyed.
“Hey, Stern, it’s okay. You’re at the hotel, you’re safe.” He scoots in front of Stern, places his hands lightly on his shoulders to ground him. He half expects the man to pull away, but instead he collapses forward, head resting on Barclays shoulder as he gulps down shaky breaths.
“No abom-I mean scary dog thing is gonna get you here.” He draws Stern closer and the other man is nearly in his lap. If he minds the proximity, he doesn’t show it.
“W-wasn’t that. Run in with, with a lake monster up north. Almost got me. No one believes me, even though I have the scar to prove it no one believes, they never believe-” He wraps his arms around Barclay, clings to him.
“I believe you.” Barclay whispers and something in Stern uncoils and his muscles no longer feel like they’ll snap under Barclays hands. For a few minutes he simply strokes his back and hair, the intimacy of the gesture feeling somehow right.
“I apologize, I don’t believe comforting guests is in your job description.”
“Don’t mind it in the slightest in your case.”
“It’s funny, I pride myself on my professional caution and paranoia but” he looks at Barclay, “but I find you remarkably easy to trust.”
“I have that effect on people.”
Stern smirks.
“Do they all end up in your bed having night terrors?”
“Nope, just the ones who need somewhere real safe to stay.”
A beat of perfect silence.
“May I stay? The rest of the night I mean.”
“Of course. Lemme at least change into pajamas.”
By the time he does, Stern is once again out cold. Though perhaps not all the way, since when Barclay lays down he immediately rolls on his side and curls his arms around one of Barclays.
Should Barclay be worried about this? Probably. There are so many things to worry about, after all.
Does he care about that right now, as he brushes a stray dark hair from Sterns forehead.
Not one bit.
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tlcyellow · 6 years ago
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merlin s3 ep3: goblin’s gold
ya girl is BACK
- omg the geoffrey the librarian is back. love that bitch and he’s super unhelpful. merlin’s like “i need this books” and he’s like “it’s in the east wing. no idea where lol” and makes no attempt to get up and help him look
- merlin has triggered a secret entryway into a spooky back room of the library and has accidently released a hideous cgi goblin voiced by arthur weasley
- the goblin is causing a tremendous amount of chaos and he’s running around and smashing things and ransacking arthur’s room looking for something? i presume gold just based on the title of the episode
- bradley james is FINE! how i could i have left him for so long?
- damn uther is still alive? what a disappointment. though its a bit of a consolation to know that the goblin caused him to lose his hair and he looks like a hard boiled egg
- we get SHIRTLESS BRADLEY JAMES IN THIS EPISODE?? YESSS
- merlins trying to sneak into arthurs room to steal gold to tempt the goblin and arthur wakes up so he enchants his bed hanging to fall on top of him and there’s like a full thirty seconds of arthur wandering around unable to see and flinging a sword everywhere and its hilarious 
- lol okay the goblin has possessed gaius and gauis is licking gold and throwing shit everwhere and merlin’s like “wow gaius is sure acting weird lol i wonder whats up??” what an idiot
- lmao this episode is fucking crazy. not as crazy as the episode where uther fucked a troll though so i will give it a pass
- lmao there’s a montage of goblin gaius ineffectively treating patients. he makes one man with a broken rib yell a series of nonsense words and then pauses for a long time and finally announces “he’s certain to die” and i laughed out loud lmao
- LMAO now goblin gaius is “curing” uther’s baldness by slapping him repeatedly over the head and i laughed out loud again. what an iconic episode. fuck uther.
- UTHER IS WEARING THE UGLIEST HAT IVE EVER SEEN TO COVER HIS BALDNESS IN FRONT OF THE COURT AND IM CRYING 
- goblin gaius told geoffrey the librarian to, quote, “lose some weight fatty”. what is this episode
- oh man merlin is being accused of causing all of the afflictions in the palace through magic. damn this boy gets accused of magic and gets away with it so often for someone who is actually a wizard. he tries to expose gaius as a goblin but obviously no one believes him. 
- LEON IS HERE HOLY SHIT. HE HAD SO MANY LINES OF DIALOGUE IM SO PROUD 
- damn merlin is really using magic to escape after being put in jail for using magic. bold move.
- katie mgrath is beautiful btw. i haven’t mentioned it yet and i needed to throw that in there.
- aw gwen still has feelings for arthur. cute. 
- ARTHUR DID BELIEVE MERLIN and he finds out the truth about gaius. what a supportive bf.
- GOBLIN GAIUS GAVE ARTHUR DONKEY EARS AND HE CAN ONLY BRAY INSTEAD OF TALKING WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON 
- merlin of course thinks this is the funniest thing in the world. i do too.
- damn okay so merlin has to kill gaius briefly in order to get the goblin out of him. im sure this is gonna go great
- leon had MORE LINES YES BBY
- wow okay so the goblin has been trapped but all of the potion bottles fell on the floor  and gwen and merlin have to frantially search to find the antitode to revive gaius. he’s not waking up and merlin yells “COME ON YOU STUBBORN OLD GOAT” which, personally, is not something i would say if one of my loved ones was actively dying in front of me. 
- gaius clears merlins name in the court and all is well and good
- gwen and arthur had the most awkward conversation in the hallway wow guys get a room 
- ohmygod arthur is still braying occasionally. imagine if he did that for the rest of the show
next episode: gwaine
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hazyheel · 6 years ago
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Smackdown Live 5/14/19 Review
Roman Reigns was the first out tonight. He called the Miz to come out in order to have some backup if Shane decided to get pissy. Miz trash talked a bit, and then Shane McMahon and Elias came out. Shane banned Miz from the building for the night, and then Elias was mean to Roman. Shane then said that he would force them to leave, and called Daniel Bryan and Rowan for the assist. They all brawled in the ring, and the heels won because there were more of them. The Usos ran out to help the faces, and they stood tall. 
Backstage, the heels decided to book themselves in a 4 on 3 handicap match, because Miz was banned. If Miz interfered, then the cage match will be called off. 
Grade: D+. We’ve seen this every week for sooooooo long. I’m just bored of Shane’s little double feud shit. It’s the same few segments over and over, and I just don’t care.
Next was a fatal 4-way between the competitors in the money in the bank match. Randy Orton vs. Ali vs. Finn Balor vs. Andrade. Orton cut a basic promo saying that he would win the ladder match. Zelina Vega said that Andrade would win. This match was dominated by the Ali and Orton rivalry, and Orton was working much slower than the rest of the competitors. Andrade introduced a couple of ladders into the match. Ali had a terrible spot where he flew out of the ring into a ladder. There was another spot where he went for a 450 splash, but landed into an RKO. Andrade won the match with a hammerlock DDT on Finn Balor, which is an important win. After the match, he started to climb a ladder for the briefcase, but Ricochet ran out and brawled with him on top of the ladder. Ricochet came out on top, grabbing the briefcase and running.
Grade: B-. Shit got wild by the end of this match. Ali is still mad with his spots, and I think he will get utterly destroyed during the match on sunday. I liked Andrade’s win, because it gives him momentum going into the match, and also puts him in contention for the IC title again. I think Andrade is going to get the win on Sunday, and this win followed by Ricochet’s attack only confirmed that.  Also, Ricochet will do some wild shit during the match too.
Backstage, Kofi Kingston told Xavier Woods that he was still banged up, so he would face Kevin Owens alone. 
Next we had a video package detailing the relationship between Lynch and Flair. Nothing didn’t already know. Still a cool package though. WWE is always good at these. Lacy Evans then talked about how she would also beat Lynch. Big talk.
We had a moody Aleister Black promo, where he said his head was pretty spooky. 
Then we had the 4 on 3 handicap match. Shane McMahon, Daniel Bryan, Rowan and Elias against Roman Reigns and The Usos. Not much was really happening in this match, until one point where the Usos totally hit up the heels with superkicks, covering Bryan for a near fall. Bryan was able to hit Jey with a running knee, but Roman broke it up. In the finish, Shane was able to hit the coast to coast on Jimmy for the win. 
After the match, Miz ran down with a chair and chased off the heels.
Grade: B. Another match that became just wild enough at the end to go positive. Still not great though. I thought it was a pretty fun TV match but not much more
Into the firefly funhouse, Bray Wyatt had a secret. He says that he has learned to control his darkness in his head, and he showed his secret, which was a freaky ass mask. I love it.
Into the Women’s division, we had Asuka and Kairi Sane vs. Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose. Paige cut a promo, saying that Asuka and Sane are the Kabuki Warriors. The Iiconics were on commentary here, and they were so funny. I think they work well when they are allowed to let loose. Another chapter in the inevitable breakup between Deville and Rose took place when Asuka locked in the Asuka lock on Rose, but Deville broke it up. Deville hit a big move, but Rose tagged in to make the cover, only to eat the pin with a crucifix. 
Grade: C-. Just not really super important. Hopefully the Kabuki Warriors become the tag champs soon, but I didn’t really care about this. The loss only confirms the breakup for Fire and Desire. The iiconics were hilarious on commentary. 
Backstage, someone tried to interview Lars Sullivan, but she got too nervous and ran away.
Then Kevin Owens hyped up his segment, but got cut off by Kofi’s entrance.
And then, the main event was the Kevin Owens Show. Kingston was out first for some reason, but Owen’s refused to come out. Owens then ripped him to shreds about how he needed the new day to become champion. He then showed a video package of his own debut. Kingston called him out to the ring, and Owens came down but backed off. Kingston attacked him in the aisle, but Sami Zayn ran out to save Owens. Even with woods coming out, the heels come out on top for most of it, but Kofi did hit Zayn with a trouble in paradise.
Grade: C+. Meh, just meh. I’m excited for the match, but meh.
Overall Grade: C+
Pros: 8 man tag; iconic commentary
Cons: opening promo; kabuki warriors vs. fire & desire
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