#Or is everyone gonna see this in the morning like “Tf was her dumbass doing up”

[agent-plaguemask]

Hello mutuals. It is 3 AM

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

——————————————————————————

A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

——————————————————————————

“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

——————————————————————————

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

[mythiccheroacademia]

Attitude

A/N: Lord knows I got a nasty attitude when I get in my feelings. I swear I’m working on it 😭 Anyways, when my past entanglments used to (respectfully) put me in my place, it had me feelings some things 🥴 so I’m translating that into headcanons. Hopefully this will get me out of my little writer’s block. Hope y’all enjoy ❤️

Warnings: cursing, implied sexual activity

Todoroki Natsuo:

natsuo is generally an easy-going person so it takes a lot to get him riled up 

when you get an attitude, it doesnt really bother him bc he can understand where you’re coming from

but dont get too disrespectful bc he’ll remind you who you’re talking to

like when you do poorly on an exam and it just ruins your mood

you don’t feel like talking to anybody so you ignore his text when he asks you to meet up for lunch 

he’ll assume you didnt see it or youre napping 

but then he spots you on campus and goes to hug you 

he notices you’re stiff in his arms but doesnt think much of it 

“did you see my text?” he asks 

“yea, sorry. i forgot to respond.”

that makes him give you a side eye bc that’s what you usually say to people when you just didnt want to answer their text 

“it’s okay if you had other things to do. you just had to tell me—“

“i said i forgot, okay? sorry!”

his head kind jerks back in surprise but he drops it

he’s a todoroki, so instead of giving you space, the dense™️ gene activates and he’s all up in your business 

even though he’s only being a good bf and trying to cheer you up, you’re annoyed af 

texts you throughout the rest of your day about how you’re doing even though you respond with two word sentences

shows up to your dorm and you only let him in bc you feel bad

and he brought food

but now you’re regretting it bc he’s just yip yapping away and his cheery attitude is pissing you off 

fed up, natuso finally confronts you after you snap at him one too many times

“what’s with the attitude, y/n”

“i don’t have one” (okay miss girl)

“well you’ve been acting like you have one all day”

you smacked your teeth and got up “i don’t care natsuo. if you think i do then you can just—“

“y/n”

natsuo barks your name in a way that makes you turn your head

he grabs your arm and firmly tugs you back on the couch so you’re face to face with his frown 

“now i dont know who you’re mad at, but i know it ain’t me. so you can either sit here and have a conversation with me like an adult or i can leave bc i don’t need the attitude”

you: 😮

you keep up an annoyed faaçade but inside youre melting  

who knew natsuo could be so assertive? 

like damn, okay daddy

you apologize and telling him what’s got you so sour 

once you seem relaxed, he goes back to his usual self and y’all end up cuddling until his hands start roaming your body 

next thing you know, youre making great use of the couch 

needless to say, you were back to your normal self the next morning LMAO

Shigaraki Tomura:

shigaraki is not the one 

he might have his moments, but ever since he grew into his role, he expects everyone else to do the same 

he lets his friends and loved ones get away with a lot of shit so he doesnt think it’s hard to give him some respect

and usually, it isn’t

but ever since he woke up, he’s been practically ignoring you

you got one kiss and a “missed you” and he kept it pushing

like bitch, wtf?

you know you were being selfish and petty but you went three whole months without dick your man and for him to pretty much ignore you bc he was “busy with his responsibilities” was making you feel some type of way

king of the underworld or not, you weren’t gonna take this laying down 

for the next few days you were ms/r. petty 😌 

every time he tried to greet you, you’d just nod your head and keep walking 

he’d try to kiss you and you’d turn your head so his lips would land on your cheek instead

if you came back late, he’d ask you where you were, just to try and make conversation, and you’d just say “out”

shiggy is confused atp and it’s pissing him off

he didnt have the time to ask you about it before it got bad

there’s a meeting with the higher-ups, talking about the next game plan and you walk in about five min late bc you were held up with a previous responsibility

shigaraki happily regards you

“y/n, good. we wanted to wait for you before we started.”

“oh that’s suprising. didn’t think you’d notice my absense. sorry for the hold up,” you bite before sitting down with a huff

everyone: 😦

you: 🙃

shigaraki: 🤨

the people in the room are sweating bc now that shigaraki was thicc™️ and highkey indestructible, he was actually really scary now

even though you were his respected s/o, no one knew how he’d react 

surpringly, he ignores your attitude and starts the meeting; so everyone forgets about it

the meeting goes on and whiles someone else is talking, you notice your bf shuffle his chair closer to yours 

you give him a side eye “what do you--”

shigaraki grabs the side of your neck in a firm grip and pushes your ear against his lips

“i don’t know what’s up with you, but watch it, sweetheart” he whispers before he goes back to listening like nothing happened

you: well call me scared and horny!

when the meeting ends, it’s just the two of you and he eventually figures out why you’re being like this

he gives you a smirk and calls you a spoiled brat before laying you across the table and apologizing to you in the best way he knows how   

Dabi: 

lmaooo funny how you think this man gives a fuck

you’re really beefin with yourself bc he don���t got enough energy to deal with the pettiness 

if you act way out of line though, don’t put it beneath him to retaliate

you give him nice, he’ll treat you sweeter 

but you give him bitch, he’ll give you bitch back tenfold

it’s the same for you

you’re just as jelaous and stuborn as he is

you’re perfect for each other but still a lil toxic in a good way 💀   

one time, you dragged him to go grocery shopping with you (he really hates how much he likes you lmao) 

whiles you were a ways away getting something, a woman came up to him and started flirting with him

*spidey senses activated*

you watch from afar, expecting him to immediately turn her down but he “plays nice” and you can see him gobble up the attention

it’s not until she asks for his number that he points to you and she genuinely apologizes before taking her leave

dabi acts all surprised when you throw a soup can in the cart and stalk off 

“you good bro?” he asks

“i’m great and i’m not your bro” you say, but there’s a clear attitude in your voice 

you couldnt even hide it on your face

he’s mad confused, but dabi doesn’t push it bc he doesn’t time for all that

“okay, be mad by yourself lol”

you weren’t even that mad but now since he wants to be funny, it’s game over 

“and you go fuck your other bitches”

he literally turns into that nick canon meme

dabi’s head is spinning 

bc wtf are you even talking about, my guy?

“yooo, i dont know who you talking to but i know it’s not me”

“who tf else is here, dumbass?”

now you got him heated and he’s this close to just walking up out the store 

but he thinks youre hot when you’re being crazy so he stays

he grabs your wrist to stop you “you’re doing a lot”

you snatch it out his hand, “and you didn’t do enough when that woman came up to you and started putting moves on you!”

ahh, so that’s why you’re angry

dabi’s anger fades and now he’s chuckling

“oh so you think this is funny? i’m not gonna stand here and be disrepsted by no man looking like a fucking burnt piece of charcoal--”

he pulls you into his arms and smothers your rant in a kiss that makes you see stars 

you’re lucky the aisle is empty bc you spend the next ten seconds with his tongue down your throat 

when he pulls back, he smirks at your speechlessness 

“well this burnt piece of charcoal is your man. no one else’s. and don’t forget it, doll-face”

he smacks your ass and walks away leaving you nearly skipping behind him

[erensonly]

Cuddle Buddies (Bakugou x Black! Reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                             ~Chapter 5: FaceTime?~

1, 2, 3, 4 

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Alright, let me tell you something. When you actually sleep, like really get some decent sleep, you will refuse to wake up, solely because you don’t sleep as much as you should. So when you felt your phone vibrating endlessly, it kinda pissed you off. Rolling over, you grab your phone.

Bakuboy💥

gm dumbass

get up big head

get up im walking you to school

ARE YOU IGNORING ME??

                                                                         Big Head🐥

                                                                        why tf you blowing up my phone??

                                                                        needy ass

                                                                        ill text you when im ready

Walking to the bathroom, you handle your business, hop in the shower, and put on your uniform. You walk to your vanity and just look for a minute, not knowing what to do with that mane on the top of your head. So you go with a simple looking, but actually kinda hard hairstyle. A slicked back ponytail.

Finally finished, you fix your edges and grab your lipgloss and mascara. You know the drill. Walking downstairs, you see a big ass pomeranian talking to your mama. Why is he here?

"Good morning mama," you walk towards her, kissing her cheek. "Why are you here?"

"Because I can. Your mama let me in."

"Duh. Lets go. Bye mama"

"Yeah, bye mama." This cocky fuck. Dragging him out of the house, you punch him in the stomach. "Don't call my mama 'mama'. We ain't married."

"Don't hit me." He bonked you on the head. Like deadass bonked you on the top of your head. "And if I marry you, I can call her 'mama'."

"I- No comment. C'mon before we're late."

Finally arriving at hell, you go to sit down and plan how much you're going to pay attention today. Then Denki walked up to you. You two hadn't interacted much besides small talk here and there. He was cute, kinda pervy, but cute.

"Hey Y/N!"

"Hey Denki. You need something?"

"I was wondering if I could... maybe get your number?" He was very shy. It was adorable.

"Yeah." Taking his phone, you put your number in his contacts. "Text me, kay?" You smiled and turned back around. Then, you noticed it was colder than Santa's ass crack. Putting your arms in your shirt, you put your head down, waiting for Aizawa.

"Damn, it's cold in here." You hug yourself closer, trying to trap any body heat in. One thing you hate to be is cold. Cold is bad. Very bad. Then, you felt a tap on your thigh. You were going to kill this boy one day.

But he handed you a hoodie. Maybe he won't get killed yet.

"Here big head. I saw that you were cold." Awww he was shy.

"Thank you," you muttered, flustered. If you weren't black you would've been blushing, but you can't. The hoodie smelled good. You ain't never smelled something so heavenly in your entire existence. Putting it on, your mood was instantly lifted, but you wouldn't show it.

                                         ~Timeskip to lunch ~

Grabbing your bento box, you walk the cafeteria. Looking for an empty seat you hear someone yelling. "Big head! Come sit here" You look to see the Bakusquad sitting at a table together. Walking towards them, Bakugo scoots over so you can sit next to him.

"L/N, hey!" Denki said.

"Hi Denki!" Then you saw a pink blob, a red rock, and tape dispenser. "Hey Sero. Wassup Mina. Kiri, hi," You said to everyone, facing your attention towards each person. Opening your bento box, you see some wonderful, delectable, delicious gumbo and garlic biscuits. You grab a spoon out of the bento and start to eat, then you notice everyone staring at you.

"What? Is there a problem?" Then they all looked away awkwardly. "No... Of course not."

"So what are y'all looking at?" Looking at them confused, you realize that they had probably never seen someone eat gumbo before. "OH! Y'all wanna try it?" Everyone nodded their heads. Usually, you didn't share your food, but they were curious so maybe this one time you could share. Grabbing an extra spoon, you give everyone a spoonful.

Their eyes lit up instantly. "Big head, what is this?" Everyone looked at you expectantly. "It's called gumbo. It's really big in the States as well as other places. You like it?"

Without even answering, he grabbed your spoon and bento and took another bite. This motherfu- You looked at everybody else. "You guys like it?"

"Y/N, this is amazing! I need to have more of this."

"I can probably get Mama to make some more and you guys can come over and eat."

Then you turn and see this blonde bitch still eating your food. He completely pushed his food aside and started gobbling yours. "Damn! Slow down, this ain't even yours." Taking it back you eat more of it. Enjoying it, you feel someone staring at you. Mind you, everyone has been talking throughout the whole lunch break up to this point and whoever was staring didn't stop.

"What Bakugo? You want some?" He turned around flustered. Of course would be flustered, emotionally constipated bastard. "Here," you push the bento towards him to let him eat again. Before he could start eating again, you take the spoon. "Say thank you."

"Tch," he scoffs. Giving him a look, he mumbles, "Thank you, dumbass." Better. "You're welcome, asshole."

"You two are cute." Mina. Of course she would say that bull. "I know I'm cute, I don't know about him though." You started to laugh at Bakugo. The punched your thigh and kept eating. This big ass hedgehog just punched me. Cocking your hand back, you slap the back of his head. As soon as Denki, Kiri, and Sero heard that you hear: "I like ya cut G."

That pissed Bakugo off. He started yelling and cursing at us, drawing attention to the table. Ew, attention. "Shut up! Stop yelling you damn hedgehog. You got everybody looking at us like we some damn fools. Be quiet!" Silence. "Thank you."

It's time to go now, grabbing the spoon and the box, you start to walk back to the classroom. Noticing you still had the hoodie on, you realize that Mina wasn't only talking about you sharing your food. Discombobulated, you put your head down and wait for everyone to get back.

~Another timeskip because I'm too lazy to write anything else for this part~

Finally, the end of the day. No more being social with people. You start packing up as usual. Getting ready to walk out the door, you realize to still had the hoodie on. You started to take it off, then a hand stopped you. "Keep it." Unsure, you look at him. "Are you sure? I can give it back if you want it."

"If I wanted it back, I would've taken it already. Keep it, big head."

"Thank you. Now, let's go" Grabbing his wrist, you drag him to the exit. It was the usual route, and more bickering amongst each other. Finally at home, you say your goodbyes and start to open the door when you felt a tug on your hand. Then a kiss on your cheek.

He snickered.  Was he copying you? Sneaky fuck. "Text me," was the last thing he said before walking away towards his house. How dare he be so smooth all the time. You were gonna catch him slipping one day.

Walking inside, you start to unwind. Sitting down at your desk to get started on the homework you didn't finish in class, you remember to text Denki and Bakugo. Now you were distracted. You and Denki sending memes and tiktoks, and you and Bakugo with your usual bickering and casual flirting.

After you finished your homework you went to lay down. Then, you got a text from Bakugo.

Bakuboy💥

FaceTime?

Before you could respond you had an incoming FaceTime call. Answering the phone you propped your phone up , grabbing your bonnet/scarf and started to wrap your hair while you two started to talk.

"What are you doing, Big head?"

"Wrapping my hair so it stays protected while I sleep and because it saves time so I won't have to do too much in the morning."

You continued to answer his questions about your hair. You two had been talking for hours, about everything and anything in between. Eventually, you heard a snore. He was sleeping. Looking at the time you saw it was 3:53 A.M. Sinking further into your bed, you slowly start to fall asleep.

You finally felt at peace while sleeping since It had happened. You could get used to it.

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And that is a wrap. This piece of crap shouldn't have taken 3-4 days to write but it did. As always, I hope yall enjoyed it. And thank you soooooo  much for 400+ reads on Wattpad. I really appreciate it. I go on wattpad everyday, and everyday there is a new surprise for me there. When we hit 500 reads, I will try put out a new chapter everyday for a week. Thx for reading ♥

[songficsbyrissi]

Ain’t No Way (Spooky x Reader)

“Ain't no way (ain't no way), I'm gone let you down (let you down). I know it's hard right now (hard right now), To see (it's in me). But I'm gone make you say you love me.” - Chris Brown

A/N: I know y’all think when tf did I become a Spooky writer but listennnnnnnnn I’ve caught up on On My Block and that man is Fine with a capital F. Gangsters ain’t even my flavor! But seeing him and watching season 3 got my creative juices flowing. The way I got this going, this is most likely gonna be a mini series. Aight now let’s get interracial! (I’m making a joke so don’t nobody come butthurt in my inbox. I will delete your shit.)

Oscar Diaz, also known as “Spooky”, was not your type at all. You hated to admit that once upon a time, he was. It was back in high school. He was this wannabe gangster and your young dumbass was into that. It was the whole “bad boy” image that almost every teenage girl drooled over. Once you got to your senior year, you grew tired of Freeridge and the gang bullshit so you went to college far away, got your degree, and came back home hoping to make Freeridge somewhat of a better place by opening your own restaurant that held a lot of community events. Unfortunately, coming back to Freeridge also meant coming back to Oscar, who was the head of the Santos. He didn’t know you were back. You planned to keep it that way. “Hey mami!” You stopped in your tracks. No, it couldn’t be. You decided to keep on walking until the familiar voice called you by your name this time. “Y/N!”

You slowly turned around and realization dawned on you. You moved into the only apartment with vacancy, which so happens to be a couple minutes away from Oscar’s house. This was a really bad day for your car not to start. When you’re walking and completely forgot that Oscar’s house was on the way to your restaurant. You were right in front of his front yard and could see his little brother Cesar walking out the front door with his school bag around his shoulder. He’s gotten so big since the last time you’ve seen him. When he was little, he had a little crush which you were both flattered and annoyed by. “Cesar....look at you! You got so big!” “Y/N!” He gave you a quick hug. “You got...um....” You tilted your head in confusion. “Got what?” The 14 year old sighed out of frustration. “You got hotter! But I’m not supposed to say that because I’m dating Monse!” You found yourself laughing at his confession and even more at the blush coming on his pale face. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna tell her but thank you. Have a good day at school.” “You too.” He rolled his eyes groaning. “Fuck!” You snickered as he went on his way and followed behind him only to have your name called out again by his older brother. “Oh my God. What?!” You stared fiercely at the Mexican gang banger as he strolled up to you, checking you out from head to toe. Once he was a few inches away from you, he smirked. “Damn you look good.” “Is that all you gotta say? Because I got somewhere to be.” Oscar let out a soft chuckle before eyeing you down again. “When did you get back?” You raised an eyebrow. “Why you need to know?” He said nothing and just stared at you which meant you had to say something. You sighed deeply looking at your feet. “I came back a couple days ago.” “You’re lying.” You looked up at him with an expression that said “the fuck?” “Look Oscar-“ “Spooky.” You snorted. “I ain’t calling no grown ass man “spooky”. His smirk came back. “You used to. Back in high school.” You rolled your eyes. “That was high school. We’re both grown, Oscar. Now if you excuse me, I gotta take my grown ass to my grown ass job.” You pushed past him and continued your journey on foot. “Where you work at? I could drive you there.” You let a dry laugh turning to to glare at him. “Thanks but no thanks. I’m fine.” “Yes you are, mami.” You scrunched your face up in disgust and went back to walking to your restaurant. Oscar kept smirking as he went back to his front porch where some of the Santos were chilling in the front. “Who’s that hyna?” One of them took a drag of a cigarette, smirking in lust. Oscar’s smirk dropped as he slapped the cigarette out of his mouth. The Santo grew wide-eyed and the leader got close in his face with a menacing look. “That’s my hyna. I claimed her so nobody even look at her or even think about her. Entiendes?” All the Santos present held the hands up in defense, saying they understood. The Santo in question spoke up. “I’m sorry, Spooky. From what I saw, she didn’t seem like your hyna.” “But she is.” Oscar declared as he stared at you in a distance.                                               *********************

“Damn, boss. You look pissed.” Your employee, Simone, observed as you approached your place of business. You put your glare on her, causing her to apologize and you waved her off. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just that this morning has been really annoying. I’m sorry for being late and leaving you out here.” “It wasn’t that long. It’s fine. Shit happens. Let’s just open this restaurant up!” You managed to put a smile on your face and you pulled out the keys to open the doors. You got the place open and your other employees came later in the day for lunch rush hour. When 3 o’clock hit, in came the kids who just got out of school. You didn’t want to be that person but you had to kick them out if they weren’t buying anything. “Hey beautiful. You sexy when you’re all assertive and shit.” This medium skinned cholo bit his lip at you and it took all your power not to gag right then and there. His friend came up to you two, pulling him away. “Ay chico, that’s Spooky’s hyna.” He informed him in a cautious tone and the one flirting with you backed up with his eyes widened. “Oh shit. My bad, mami. Don’t tell your man.” The two cholos scurried away as you stood there in confusion. You spotted Cesar and his friend having burgers and fries in a booth, diagonal from you. You approached them with a huge sigh. “Oh hey Y/N.” Cesar greeted you first. “Wait this is Y/N?!??!?!” Ruby stood out of his seat in the booth and got close to your face. “Hey girl. You might not remember me but I’m Ruben aka your future baby daddy.” You placed your hand on his right cheek and pushed him back down in his seat. “Eat your food, Ruby.” “What it do, cousin?” Jamal greeted you. You forgot one of Cesar’s friends was your annoying ass cousin Jamal. “What the hell does “hyna” mean?” You questioned the group and they all looked at each other in puzzlement. “So no one knows what it means?” “It means pretty girl. Beautiful girl. It’s a compliment.” Monse stated as she popped a fry in her mouth. “Ok but two cholos came in here and one tried to flirt but the other told him I’m-and I quote “Spooky’s hyna” you explained with air quotes. “So what the hell does that mean?” The group got quiet at your explanation and you stared at all of them anxiously. What the fuck did they know that you didn’t? “Hello? Earth to the Core 4?” You waved your hand trying to get their attention back on you. Cesar drummed his fingers on the table before looking up at you. “Let’s just say.... you finding a husband in Freeridge is probably never gonna happen.” Your eyebrows were knitted together in confusion and you folded your arms. “What do you mean by that?” “Oh wow it really do be the pretty ones that are slow.” Jamal whispered out loud and turned to you slowly. “It means that......Spooky....got dibs on you. He claimed you meaning nobody else can date you because if they do, they’re signing their death certificate.” You had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from screaming “WHAT THE FUCK?!” In your professional establishment. You turned on your heel and just got back to work. Once it was close to closing time, no one was at your restaurant. You were walking to the front doors to flip the sign when Oscar showed up and walked through the doors. You sighed deeply. “You know we’re about to close.” Oscar pointed to the sign. “The sign says open.” “I was just about to flip it ov- what do you want from me, Oscar?!” He shrugged his shoulders in response. “I just wanted to talk to you. Maybe hang out sometimes.” You laughed loudly and sarcastically at his answer and the look on his face was not one of amusement. Is it ever is? “You got me fucked up if you think I’m hanging out with a fucking gangbanger. A fucking Santo at that.” You snorted and grabbed the dishrag to clean the tables. “You must be using some of the product you be selling.” He slammed his hand on one of the square tables, glaring at you. You were a little shell shocked but tried not to show it. “You talk all this shit about gangsters and shit like you weren’t feeling one in the past but you gonna feel one soon.” “And what the fuck do you mean by that?” You found your voice after taking a large gulp. “I’m gonna make you say you love me.” It took everything in your power not to laugh in his face in that moment because that shit was hilarious but you could tell he was serious. Word on the street is Spooky was the last motherfucker you wanted to piss off. You looked at the table he slammed and noticed a tiny piece of paper that read: 213-456-7893 The next day, your car ran smoothly today so you didn’t have to see Oscar on your way to the restaurant. That made you really happy. When it was close to closing time, before you could flip over the sign, a group of young boys pushed themselves inside and stared at you. You looked from side to side and back at them. “Can I help you?” “Are you the owner?” The one that seemed like the leader asked quickly. Straight to the point. You respected that. “Yes, I am. Why? Do you have a complaint?” “Yeah I do.” The leader glanced at the other two boys with him and focused his attention back at you. “This is 99th street territory and since your little restaurant is on it, you gotta pay us rent.” You let out a boisterous laugh at the audacity of these boys. Everyone was on a mission to make you ugly laugh lately. “I’m not paying you shit. You ain’t the government.” You spoke once the laughs subsided. “Now it’s either you order some food or get the hell out. I prefer the latter so you could run back home and do your homework.” You finished in a baby voice, ruffling the young boy’s hair. The group of boys began to chuckle as they began to walk out. “You don’t know who you’re messing with, lady.” The leader warned before heading out of the glass doors. You giggled to yourself as you wiped the tables. Suddenly you got the sense that something wasn’t right and you gut was right because as soon as you went into the kitchen, bullets sprayed throughout your restaurant. You grabbed Simone and forced yourselves to duck down. Once it finished, you remembered you had your employee, Marco, outside taking out the trash. “Marco!” You yelled out running outside which was probably stupid as hell because if the shooters were still there, now they got an easier shot. You found Marco slumped against the building with a bullet in his arm. He was holding onto it to prevent more blood from releasing. You heard footsteps approach you and you fearfully looked to see the boys from earlier. “We warned you, lady. Next time, the bullet goes in his head.” The leader stuck out his thumb, index, and middle fingers to make his hand look like a gun and gestured towards you. “Or maybe your head.” He began to chuckle and his boys joined in on the laughing fest. He stopped chuckling and they stopped too. “Don’t mess with us again, lady.” You waited until you were sure the gang was gone before dialing 911 to get Marco an ambulance. “Marco.....I’m so sorry.” You were on the verge of tears seeing your employee on a gurney, ready to go to the hospital. “It’s ok, Miss Y/N. I’ve gotten shot before. 7 more times and you call me 50 cent.” You began to smile as they wheeled Marco away. That’s what you always appreciated about him. Always finding light in a dark ass situation, even when that situation was his. You took out your phone and dialed a number as Simone stood next to you. “Who are you calling?” “Probably my biggest regret.” Too vague for her to understand, Simone shrugged her shoulders and went back inside of the restaurant. After your phone call, you sat down in one of the booths just waiting. After a while, he appeared right in front of you, saying nothing. He just took a seat in the booth facing you. You leaned in close. “First things first, take that stupid ass gang claim off of me. I’m not anyone’s fucking hyna, especially not yours. So cut the shit.” Oscar remained silent and just stared at you intensely. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Is that it?” You took a deep breath, already regretting your next words. “No. I need protection.” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “From?” You gestured towards the glass and bulletholes in your windows. “Do you see this shit? 99th street did it. I have employees and a reputation to protect. So I need protection from the Santos.” Oscar began to crack up suddenly at your words and you stared at him in annoyance. You knew you were going to regret this shit but you didn’t have a choice. The police said they’ll get them but that’s not enough. Besides, they are used to gang activity so they’re barely gonna do anything. “You know you’re one funny hyna. First, you talk all this shit about gangs and then giving me attitude since I first saw you. Shit, you gave me an attitude right when I sat down. And now, you’re asking me for a favor. Maybe food ain’t your thing, mamita. You should go for stand-up comedy.” “If I had any other choice, I would’ve took it but I don’t. So are you gonna do it?” Oscar sat in up in his seat, folded his broad hands, and leaned in close to you. “Protection ain’t free, mami.” You cleared your throat and tilted your head to avoid showing him that the look on his face kinda turned you on. Your fingers drummed on the table. “I know that. I’m willing to pay you for your tim-“ “Nah you not paying in money, hyna.” Oscar’s hands found yourself on the table and when you met his hands, you stopped thinking for a minute. You came back to your senses and removed your hands in disgust. “I rather have 99th street put a bullet in my fucking eye before I do that.” You hissed, gesturing to your left eye. “I don’t need sex from you, mami. Well, at least not now. But I need you to make it worth my while.” You shrugged your shoulders, completely defeated. “What do you want?” “How about you be my personal chef? Cook me and Cesar breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You do that and you, your employees, and your restaurant are under the protection of the Santos.” Oscar stuck his hand out to you. “Do we have a deal, mami?” You scowled at the man in front of you as he waited for your hand to meet his. To be honest, you rather slit your wrists than cook for him. But you’ll be cooking for Cesar too and you cared about Cesar. You knew he probably wasn’t having proper meals at home and you needed Santo protection. Fuck. You shook his hand. “You got a deal.” He slowly brought your hand to his lips, giving it a kiss, stood up, and left your restaurant. Simone emerged from the kitchen, staring at Oscar leaving and turned back to you, confused. “Wait what just happened?” You exhaled deeply, struggling to get your next words out. “I just made a deal with the devil.”

Tags: @cancerianprincess​ @drtycomputerx​

(whoever else wants to be tagged just let me know :)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 03.04.21 lb

aryan is literalllllllly the fuckin dumbest. zero peripheral vision or gut feels.

lmaoooooooooooo yeah right, i’d like to see you shoot at vansh bhai, aryan. i really wanna see this lololololol.

lo aa bhi gaya vansh. (fuck he looks good in this shirt!!!!!! damn my stupid hormones making me horny for the absolute baaaaaaaaare minimum.)

ANGREEEEEEEEEEEE ZINDA HAIIIIIIIIII BHAGWAAN KA LAAKH LAAKH SHUKAR, MAIN MAHA MRITYUNJAYA JAAP KARWAUNGIIIII ISKE NAAM PAR

vansh [seeing an obviously shot angre]: angre, kya hua???

samosa khaate waqt ketchup kandhe pe gira diya........... DIKH NAHI RAHA HAI KI GOLI LAGI HAI TERE CHUTIYE BHAI KI WAJAAH SE?!?!!?! ANGRE DESERVES SO MUCH MORE THAN A FUCKING RAISE, MY GOD.

plan ke hisaaaaaaaaaab se. god i hate all the men in this show so much. angre honestly, why are you suchhhhhh a chaaatu for vansh’s ootpataaang plans?!?!

anyway long story short, vansh saw aryan spying, went and replaced all of aryan’s bullets with blanks, and sent the sms about riddhima being alive. LMAO DOES THAT MEAN HE ALSO CONNED A COOL 2 CR. OUTTA ARYAN?!?!!?! ASDKSADJLASKDJLKASDJKAS GOOD JOB, VANSHHHHHHHH.

angre like why i had to die for this tho???? oh angre, you sweet summer child. do you know NOTHING about your bhaiyya/bhaabi’s amaaaaaaazing relationship????? you think he’d give up a chance to emotionally manipulate her like this????

how’d the dumbass finalllllllllllllllly figure this is real riddhima tho??? also he has fully made his peace with treating his PREGNANT WIFE this way huh????

ishani/siya having a girly convo about siya’s “date”. ishani’s like “was it sizzling, burning, sensational?”

uhhhhhhhhh siya, if you’re feeling all these things, you should go see a gynaec. sounds like an STI to me.

this is a very creepy convo ishani is leading, about how far siya got with vyom. who wants such specific sexual details from their sister????????

asalkdjlaskjdlaskjdlaskljk ishani is like “men are like goats [....] they’re dumb. and women are powerful.” can’t say i disagree.

anyway this convo is really dumb and cringey and i can’t take it anymore. inke bhaiyya ka chutiyaapa dikhao, instead of this nonsense. 

angre is over the moon ki this is riddhima bhaabi itself, unaware that boss is fuming ki uska chutiya kat raha hai.

6 ghante 6 ghante 6 ghante blah blah blah FUCKING OUT WITH IT ALREADY

the only time i like vansh as a person is when he’s smirky over buddhu banaao-ing aryan. 

idhar aryan ne aake chugli kar di sabke saamne.

yeh anupriya ka kya hi chakkar hai, idgi. is she fr on vansh’s side now??????

riddhima khud entry maaar rahi, to prove aryan right.

everyone except siya’s reactions are like ugh, this bitch again 😒😒😒

LMAO VANSH/ANGREEEEE LOST RIDDHIMA AND SHE REACHED HOME BY THEN

ouff 10 min of dadi’s mafia queen reactions nonsense now.

lo vansh bhi aa gaya.

ASALKJDLASJDLSKAJDLKSAJDLKSAJDLKSALDKJLAS DADI STANDING ON THE STAIRS PULLING THAT KHAANDANI RIFLE ON HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM LEGIT LOSING IT LMAO.

ALSO ISHAANI IS STANDING BEHIND DADI, FULLY FOR IT. BAGAAAWATTTT KII PYAARI BEHENAA NE!

riddhima trying to interfere to save vansh (why???), and dadi’s like STFU B.

lol vansh playing stone cold stupid, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

he’s spinning yarn after yarn ki “YEH riddhima hai, WOH jisko maara woh humshakal thi. MERA PYAAAAAAAR WOULD NEVER GIVE ANY OF US DHOKAAAAAAAAAAAA.” pftttttttt.

vansh breaking it down for the truuuuuuuuuuuuuly stupid, ki he shot a girl who had riddhima’s face, she was dead, aryan confirmed it. now there’s a riddhima standing in front of all of them. thus............???????

bechaara aryan. bachpan mein thode aur badaam khaata toh shaayad itna bewakoof nahi hota.

lollipop girl is nodding appreciatively at all this drama; she’s honestly the most relatable character here. if i was a houseguest here, main bhi roz roz mazze looot rahi hoti in chutiyon ka.

le aryan ne phir bandook taan di riddhima par, to get her to uglofy the truth. ab toh isko pakka maar padne waali hai. remains to be seen by whom. hoping it’s vansh as per usual, but i shall take dadi also.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA RIDDHIMA’S LIKE ARYAN HAD KIDNAPPED ME. OMFG LOLLIPOP LADKI’S EXPRESSION AT THAT. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS TO BE ADOPTED BY VANSH/RIDDHIMA’S DEVIOUS ASSES.

anyway riddhima flipped the whole damn game and is like dadi, aryan wanted to make you distrust vansh and that’s why he did all this and lmaoooooooo even vansh is a little stunned for a second or two and then jumps in and starts haan mein haan milaao-ing with wifey’s story.

ARYAN LIKE HEIN HEIN HEIN HO KYA RAHA HAI YEH SAB?!!?!?!? HAAAYE BECHAARA. SO SO STUPID HE IS. 

riddhima rubbing it in reallllllllll good in front of dadi ki aryan tried to killllllllll meeeeeeeee!!!!! and now aryan’s like bitch imma kill you both istg and got the gun on them.

LOLLIPOP LADKI’S AMAZING FACES LIKE GO ONNNNNNNNN, DOOOOOO ITTTTTTT, I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO IT, SIR. LMAO MAN I LOVE HER.

ASLKADJLAKSJDLASKJDLKSAJLDKJSLAKDJLAS DADI’S GOT HER GUN SET ON ARYAN NOW!!!!!!!!!!! honestly, this whole family is just so fucking dysfunctional, there needs to be a wholeass team of mental health specialists monitoring them and writing case reports about them at all times.

vansh trying to talk aryan down and got shot in the arm for it. pehli baar aryan ne zindagi mein kuch sahi kiya hai.

LOLLIPOP GIRL IS HORNY AT THAT ALSO. MAN SHE’S SUCH A WHORE FOR DRAMAAAAAAAAA AND I FULLY RELATE TO IT.

oh goddamnit. he didn’t get shot. coz aryan sucks at aiming, just like he does at everything else.

ASLKJFDSLKJFLSDKJFLDSKJFLKDSJ VANSH STALKED UP TO HIM AND WAS LIKE “TUMHARA NISHAANA HAMESHA SE HI KHARAAB THA” AND GAVE HIM ONE SOLID SOCK TO THE JAW FOR THAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

someone make rrahul trim his damn beard, that thing is like a foot off his face. there must be whole ass beehives and civilizations inhabiting it.

aryan passing by dadi and is like you’re making a big mistake believing vansh/riddhima and their lying asses. and what did he get for that? one jhaapad from dadi also. lol. just not his dayyyyyyyyyyy, man.

LOLLIPOP GIRL’S SMIRKING AND HAS HER ARMS CROSSED AND I LEGIT ONLY CARE FOR HER REACTION SHOTS IN THIS SHOW NOW, LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE.

oh shit dadi is throwing aryan out the house. does he have anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy skills to fend for himself outside this place? he’s gonna die in like 15 minutes.

dadi warning vansh ki if aryan’s baat sahi nikli, she gonna murder his and riddhima’s asses too. hey vansh??? now would be a good time to take your 5000 cr. and fuck off outta this crazy house rn.

riddhima can’t stop reliving angre’s death.

vansh’s here and just sooooooooooo cool about it. shouldn’t that tip her off?!?!?!?!

she’s like BITCH WHY ARE YOU SUCH A PSYCHOPATH, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS DEAD AND YOU’RE LIKE MEH????? HE DIED FOR YOU.

ohohohohohohoho ofc, he’s like he didn’t die for ME, he died for YOU. you and your dhoka are why he’s dead. today angre’s dead, tomorrow it’ll be me. waaaaaaaaaaah bhai. amazingggggggggg manipulation only. you should write papers and give TED talks about it, that’s how much of an expert you are at this.

do not tellllllllllllllllllllllllllll me she falls for this shit. pls god do not.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HER BRAIN FINALLY WORKED!!!!!!!!!!! SHE’S LIKE IF ARYAN’S SUCHHHHHHHHHHH A POOR SHOT THAT HE COULDN’T HIT YOU WHEN YOU WERE LIKE 5 FEET AWAY FROM HIM, HOW TF DID HE GET ANGRE RIGHT IN THE FUCKING HEART FROM SO FAR AWAY?????????? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SIS, THIS THE KINDA SHIT I’VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE FROM YOU FOR AGES NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

lol vansh is really pushing on the 6 ghante thing and she’s like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i get it now.

toh ofc he has to resort to sexy fuckery and pulls her under the shower to seduce it outta her.

riddhima don’t think with her pussy no more. she’s like you want the truth????/ i gotta confirm some shit first. took the gun (which he’d taken from aryan earlier) and left.

yup she went outside and found a blood ka packet. lolllllllllllllllllll vansh ki khairrrrrrrrrrrr nahi ab.

sopping wet saiyyaan is like what youuuuuuuu doing??? and she pulled the gun on him. bwahahahahaha. sis not so much of an idiot anymore.

LMAO SHE SHOT AT HIMMMMMM AND HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

she’s like bitch you and your lies and your dhokasssssssssss.

oh dang she fully called out his game, from sending aryan to manipulating her into being guilty for angre’s death. MANNNNNNNN, WHY DIDN’T WE HAVE THIS RIDDHIMA FROM THE FUCKING START????????????

oh now he’s gaslighting her about the dhoka. he’s got some nerve. i swear to god he’s asking to be shot for reals.

she’s like you know what, i woulda told you, but now, after all this fuckery, imma take it to the grave. bwahahahahahhahaha, i love it. exactly what my petty ass would do.

challenge challenge challenge and tashan waala walk-off. lol, what’s the point, tum dono ko jaana toh ek hi kamre mein hai.

ishani’s freaking the fuck out at angre’s haalat. oh damn. she really does love him!!!!

angre’s all mehhh, it’s part of the job, and OMG YES ISHANI IS LOSING HER SHIT AT VANSH BHAI’S CONSTANT CONTROL OF THEIR LIVES!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“tum pehle mere husband ho, phir unke bodyguard!!!!!!!! HE HAS TO UNDERSTAND HIS LIMITS!!!!!!” OMGGG  YESSSSSSSSSSS QUEEEEEEEENNNNNN BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND. LEAVE THIS HOUSE WITH YOUR BOY AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

idhar riddhima and vansh seem to have made up???? she’s waking him up cheekily, and he’s all “good morning to youuuuu too, my love. 😏😏😏” they fucked in the night, for sho.

he’s like is this love or repentence for yest? and she’s like bitch tf i got to repent for????

lmao the way she’s staring at him as he drinks his coffee makes me think she’s poisoned it. or spat in it, at the very least.

standard pulling and falling and sexy stuff. lol these two are so dysfunctional. constantly trying to sex the other into submission. at least it’s more equal now, than just him making all the moves.

yeah, she’s doing all this shit to protect him from some shit FOR SURE. ugh yaaaaar. oh well, at least she got some chracter development outta it.

lol he got mad at her for not melting at his do takke ka seduction. son, you thought a bloody forehead kiss was enough? we’re not saying SHIT for less than 3 orgasms.

riddhima cooolyyyy regarding jeeta-jaata chalta-phirta angre, who thankfully has some sharam for his actions.

she’s like don’t worry, i’m not mad at you, i know vansh put you up to it; and he’s like yeah you know i have zero self respect when it comes to vansh bhai. he says jump, i ask how high.

and she’s like you’re your own person dude. and i hope you’ll one day realize that and do what you think is right, not just what vansh tells you to. DUDE I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY DIDN’T GIVE US THIS RIDDHIMA TILL NOW. 

asdkljlaskjdlaskjdlaskjdlaksjdlkasj vansh speaking chinese was really not necessary but....... lol ok.

wtf even is this black box, dude?????? like.............. you know what, idec anymore. nothing in this show is worth wasting brain cells over.

snort, vansh assures his shady business friends that the black box is in safe hands, and instantly riddhima comes and picks it up from the table.

some sultry talk about love and war as they keep taking the box from each other. lol man you’re both so fucking lame.

anyway he put it in the safe and is being patronizing to her, and she’s like be careful at how you play this........ “kahin meri dukhti ragg pe haath na lag jaaye....” OH DAMN. DUDE. I THINK SHE’S LOST THE BABY OR SOMETHING. IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING THAT’S HURT HER MASSIVELY TO BRING ABOUT SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE (OTHER THAN THE SHOW MOVING FROM TV TO ONLINE)

asldkjsaldjlskadjlksadjlksajd she’s threatening to tell dadi that he played this whole farce in front of her and he’s like U WOT MATEEEE

anyway both of them smilingly fucking each other up about 6 ghante ka raaz and how the other one will lose. man, y’all need SO MUCH THERAPY.

riddhima’s here talking to stupid shunya fucker; and he’s just laughing and talking about his stupid saxophone.

he’s all only the two of us know about this deal we have, no one else in the worldddddddddd knows......

and she’s like actually................................. there’s a third person.

cut to: MY DIL JAAN JIGAR KA TUDKA KABIR, STILL IN CHAINS, SCREAMING RIDDHIMA’S NAME, AND GROWLING ABOUT HOW VANSH WILL KILL HER WHEN HE FINDS OUT HER SECRET.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. why did she have to tell vyom that kabir knows? now vyom’s gonna try and kill kabir for sure and i want the reverse to happen!!!!!!!! please god gimme some #kava love where vansh saves kabir from vyom to make up for that one time kabir saved his life from chang!!!!!! i just want my two boys together!!!!!!!!!

precap: same old chutiyapa. vansh got her fingerprints off a glass to open her phone; she tries to steal the black box from his secret room and he catches her. abbe yaaaaaaaaaaaaar. 

[supercasey]

TF2 RED Headcanons by an idiot that can’t pay attention well enough to read the comics

Back on my bullshit, because I apparently can’t shut up tonight. This is gonna be a big, possibly in-cohesive mess, and will probably have more focus on Scout, Pyro, Sniper, and Spy since they’re my favs, but I still felt like writing down all my dumb headcanons/ideas regarding everyone’s favorite mercenaries (at the moment at least; I might make another post like this later on, hopefully after I’ve read the comics)! Sorry if any of these seem OOC, I’m just goofin’! (Putting this under a readmore because WOW this got LONG)

Every Sunday afternoon, Scout, Pyro, and eventually Sniper when he tells everyone that he's a trans guy, hold a makeshift “Trans Buddy Club” meeting, which mostly consists of Scout mindlessly rambling about drama on base, Pyro nodding along, and Sniper occasionally adding his two cents/spilling tea as well.

Scout can speak fluent French, on account of his mom making sure to teach it to him so he could have more of a connection to his dad, but no one found out until a little after Spy told Scout he was his dad. It wasn’t long after this that Scout revealed that this entire time, he’s known every single thing that Spy's ever said to him in French, but he didn't say anything because he thought it would be funny to keep the ruse going (also because he really liked being praised in secret). Cue Spy freaking tf out because oh no, now his kid knows that he's secretly a huge softie for not only his son, but his whole team.

Sometimes Spy and Scout talk shit in French right there in front of the team, but no one has any fucking idea what they’re saying and to be honest it’s pissing Soldier off the most, much to the father and son duo’s amusement.

Pyro secretly has a little black rabbit named Lucifer (Lucy for short) in their bedroom, which they only take out to get some fresh air and hop around very early in the morning, before anyone else is awake. The only people who know are Medic, Spy, and surprisingly enough Soldier, whose raccoons became friends with Lucy.

Sniper has a goldfish in his RV, but it died three months after he joined the team; he has no idea though because Miss Pauling replaces it every time one passes away, so now Sniper is convinced he has the world’s oldest goldfish.

Scout and Soldier both really want a dog, but they're not allowed to have one on-base. :(

((Heavy plans on sneaking a dog in next Christmas and no one can stop him. It’s gonna be a Border Collie named Bandit, and it gets the most attached to Scout and Heavy.))

Demo is no longer allowed to make mixed drinks for parties; the last time he did, he got everyone so shitfaced that they had to cancel work for three days in a row in order to recover from it.

Continuing off of that: drunk headcanons.

Demoman: Unassuming drunk. Acts like he usually does, unless he’s gotten particularly shitfaced for a party/event, in which case he’ll be slurring so bad that no one can understand him anymore.

Pyro: Giggly drunk. Is just laughing the whole fucking night at nothing in particular, which scares anyone who’s still sober. If they’re too far gone, they’ll start mumbling something that sounds like it’s in Spanish.

Spy: Party drunk. An absolute fucking mess, he’s trying to impress everyone and keep their attention on him, which usually leads to him standing on tables and dancing until he falls and passes out.

Sniper: Sleepy drunk. Out like a fucking light at the slighest bit of alcohol. If he wakes up and keeps drinking though, he’ll just be slurring like Demo, only with a lot more anger in his voice. Let him sleep, or he’ll fucking stab you to death.

Scout: Clumsy drunk. Bumps into anything and everything; eventually has to be given a sippy cup for his alcohol because he dropped three glasses in a row. Talks even faster than usual, until he accidentally fucking pukes on someone.

Soldier: Calm drunk. Instead of getting loud and aggressive like most would think/fear, he’s just… chillin'. Just watches the shitshow as it happens, not even laughing when people get hurt/fall down. Kinda terrifying if we’re being honest here.

Engineer: Depressed drunk. His depression goes through the roof if he has too much, so he doesn't drink more than a few beers if he can help it. If he does accidentally drink too much, he'll be sobbing his eyes out in no time flat.

Heavy: Cuddly drunk. It’s very, very hard to get him drunk, since he’s really good at holding his liquor, but if you do, he’s gonna be hugging and carrying everyone he can get his hands on; you can expect him to have Medic and/or Pyro on his lap once he’s drunk enough.

Medic: Angry drunk. He wants to start fights with fucking everyone, all his rage coming out once he’s had a few too many; god help anyone who tries to stop him. Luckily for all involved, Heavy is more than capable of holding him still until he tires himself out.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Dumbass drunk. With too many bottles in her, she’s gonna be the one shouting and encouraging Spy to act reckless, while also encouraging Engie to drink more because quitting is for losers. Will pass out within an hour or so of downing her first drink.

BONUS The Administrator: Stereotypical drunk. Slurring, stumbling, she’s got the whole nine yards, but she’ll be damned before she let’s anyone see her that messed up. Secretly sips wine at work.

Okay, back to my rambling.

My personal headcanon names and ages for Scout’s older brothers, going from oldest to youngest: Grant 34, Timothy 32, Jacob 31, Arthur 31, Patrick 30, Malcolm 27, Curtis 26, and Jeremy (Scout) 23.

((Also, I’mma go off on my headcanon personalities for them, which are based off of how I’ve tried portraying them in my "Jeremy" fic.))

Grant - 34 years old - Bisexual - Occupation: Veteran/Construction worker - Personality: the oldest of the bunch, he takes it upon himself to keep his little brothers in line/help Ma out as much as he can. Enlisted in the Air Force after he graduated high school, and still takes a lot of pride in his veteran status after serving overseas three separate times. The family peacemaker.

Timothy - 32 years old - Homosexual - Occuptaion: Cartoonist - Personality: the gentlest of his brothers, he often gets roped into helping Grant keep the pack from running too wild. Bit of a softie; loves his husband and loves his job. Closest relationship is with Scout. Doesn’t approve of Scout being a merc but is too scared to say so. The family heart.

Jacob - 31 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Freelance guitarist - Personality: the firstborn of the only set of twins, Jacob is a lot more abrasive and instigating than his twin brother. Can’t grow a beard for shit, which pisses him off. Doesn’t get along well with Timmy, despite them both being talented and devoted artists. The family sword.

Arthur - 31 years old - Pansexual - Occupation: Carpenter - Personality: the second born of the only set of twins, Arthur is far more outgoing and nonchalant than his twin brother. Has a beard and loves it more than life. Secretly has a boyfriend, but is too nervous to come out. Gets along better with Jacob after they’ve become adults. The family shield.

Patrick - 30 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Hairdresser - Personality: probably the least social of all of the brothers, he prefers staying out of sight and out of mind tbh. Used to practice cutting everyone’s hair when they were kids. Doesn’t talk to his brothers that much, mostly due to being busy/forgetting to call more. The family shadow.

Malcolm - 27 years old - Heteromantic Asexual - Occupation: Wrestler - Personality: the most aggressive and physically competitive of his brothers, there’s nothing he won’t do to win a fight, save for using weapons/lethal force. Hard to get along with, but he still loves his brothers to bits, and was overprotective of Scout when they were younger. The family instigator.

Curtis - 26 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Bartender - Personality: was a total fucking mama’s boy growing up, and constantly got in trouble with his brothers for tattling on them. Still argues with Scout every time they see each other. Wants to make Ma proud, but it’s hard for him to keep a job for very long. The family drifter.

Jeremy - 23 years old - Transmale Pansexual - Occupation: Mercenary - Personality: (This is mostly for how he was as a kid) was constantly following his brothers around (especially Malcolm) in hopes of getting in on the fun. Was always treated as the family baby, so everyone was a bit scared to wrestle/fight with him for fear of getting him hurt. Very close to Timmy and Ma. The family runt.

No one on RED team can fucking drive well, save for MAYBE Sniper, but even he hates doing it. Spy gets so goddamn mad within two seconds of driving, Pyro can't stop swerving, Scout drives like a 16 year old who hasn't realized their own mortality yet, Medic jumps at every little inconsistency on the road, Heavy shouts at other drivers for being too slow/fast, Demo's depth perception is shit, Engie drives like a 90 year old grandmother, and Soldier is fine except he will literally shoot at other drivers for tailgating him/cutting him off.

The whole team has designated “Team Bonding Days” thanks to Miss Pauling, which involves playing board games, card games, and video games (in a slightly more modernized AU) together… this, of course, goes badly sometimes. The worst incident they ever had was a bad game of Monopoly that almost ended Heavy and Medic's friendship.

Uno is forever banned from Team Bonding Days. No explanation is needed.

Off the battlefield and in the base, Miss Pauling had the team set up a chore wheel, which is only occasionally followed. Engie is the most dedicated to following it, while Demo and Sniper try everything in their power to avoid cleaning the base.

Spy sometimes disguises himself as other teammates in order to get out of doing his chores, which has led to a lot of shouting matches that ended in Spy being forced to admit it was his fault.

Spy's favorite teammates to disguise himself as are Engie and Scout. He likes being Engie because he gets to be more affectionate with people without being found out, and he can act as Scout incredibly easily due to knowing him so well (tbh he's so good at masquerading as Scout that it's scary).

For Halloween, everyone put their names in Soldier's hat, then proceeded to pull out other teammates’ names to dress up as for their Halloween party. I dunno exactly who would be who, except that Scout traded around to get Spy, steals one of Spy's suits, and just goes around the party bonking people with a plastic baguette he bought online and speaking in a purposefully bad accent.

Spy: Mon fils, you can speak perfect French and you fucking know it. Please stop making a fool of ton père.

Scout: Hohoho, wee wee, I am a fucking frog that gets pegged by baguettes, hoho!

((Spy is this fucking close to committing filicide.))

Everyone can actually cook pretty well, but only very specific things for each merc: Demo can mix and blend drinks (not just alcoholic ones) like it's nothing, Pyro and Heavy like baking, Medic can barbecue anything, Scout knows how to make a lot of shit from scratch (thanks, Ma), Spy and Engie can grill like the true dads they are, Soldier will deep fry every piece of food he eats, and Sniper makes the best soups and stews imaginable.

In order of least to most messy bedrooms: Spy, Heavy, Engie, Sniper, Pyro, Demoman, Medic, Scout, and Soldier. You'd think Scout's would be the worst, but Soldier's room looks like a literal fucking war-zone.

Even when they're not working but get injured in some way (namely from shenanigans/horseplay), people will straight up kill themselves in order to respawn without the injury. The pettiest thing anyone ever respawned off-duty for was Medic suiciding over a tiny ass paper cut.

Demoman is scarily competent at the weirdest of times. For instance, Engie was once trying to figure out how to fix an issue on one of his turrets, only for Demo to stumble over, completely shitfaced, and point out the problem as well as the solution, before passing out under Engie's worktable. Demo doesn't remember this at all.

The first time Engie swore in front of the team in excess (due to dropping a hammer on his foot while he was tinkering), everyone was absolutely horrified because they had only ever heard him say “fiddlesticks” and the like.

Medic's room may not be the messiest, but goddamn is his office a fucking bomb waiting to go off 90% of the time. No one but Medic can find anything in the mess, which is just fine by him.

Heavy likes to sing (mostly just to Sasha) when he's cleaning her in the locker room. The others try to be within hearing range when he does this, because holy fuck, Heavy is a very good singer! He mostly just sings soft songs/lullabies, so his singing is sometimes used by the team insomniacs to help them get some much needed rest.

Okay, another group one. The mercs during shopping trips together:

Demoman: Sneaks a shit ton of alcohol into the cart when no one's looking. Starts complaining if he has to be at the store for too long; will try and sneak away to go home at least once during the trip. Accidentally bumps into a display case and makes a huge fucking mess.

Pyro: Sits obediently in the cart the whole time, occasionally nabbing candy and stuffed animals off of nearby shelves. Will puppy-dog eyes their way into getting everything they grabbed, no matter how much it is.

Spy: Somehow managed to steal an employee uniform and he pretends to work at the store the whole trip; the other mercs keep accidentally falling for it and asking for his help. This all goes to shit when a Karen starts shouting at him over something he didn't do, and he straight up slaps her.

Sniper: King of forgetting wtf was on the list and just grabs shit on the grounds of “Doc said we needed milk, right?” and other such excuses. Knows where everything is despite never having come here before.

Scout: “Gimme the list, I can get everythin' in, like, ten minutes!” Wants to speedrun grocery shopping due to years of shopping with his mom and brothers. Will run loose if left unsupervised and accidentally bust ass on some spilled milk.

Soldier: The one who spilled the milk that Scout busts his ass on. Insists he knows where he's going, but doesn't. Gets into a fistfight with a soccer mom while everyone's waiting to check out; the soccer mom won.

Engineer: Has a full, printed list of everything the team needs, which is organized by aisle number. Is the one who gives into Pyro's begging. Team Dad; keeps an eye on everyone and stops the soccer mom from murdering Soldier.

Heavy: Pushes the cart the entire time. Spends way too money on stuff in the protein shake aisle. At one point runs the cart down the aisle and let's go because Pyro wanted him to, and it ends up crashing into Demo.

Medic: Argues with the pharmacists at the pharmacy counter. Got lost with Soldier until they found Scout unconscious, so he had to perform CPR in the dairy aisle and a fucking paramedic criticized him the whole time; the paramedic hasn't been seen since.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Tries to more or less chaperone this shitshow of a shopping trip. Starts out cheerful and happy, ends up threatening to put child leashes on every last one of these dumbasses.

After Spy taught him how to dance in Expiration Date, Scout goes to him occasionally for advice, such as how to change a tire, how to cook certain things, how tf to do laundry, etc. Spy secretly loves that Scout does this, and tries to help him as much as he can.

Everyone on the team has called Engie “Dad” at least once, even Spy and Medic. No one comments on it.

Medic has been known to go on hour long tirades about anti-vaxxers, with Engie sometimes joining in.

Heavy buys Pyro stuffed animals during his trips to visit his family, which has started a tradition of everyone buying Pyro stuffed animals/toys when they go somewhere without them. Pyro's room is starting to look like a preschooler’s dream bedroom.

Scout calls his mom every other Friday, and he’ll occasionally let his teammates talk to her. Soldier always goes on and on about how good a soldier Scout has been (Scout cries like a baby), Medic tells her about Scout’s latest injuries (Scout damn near chokes him over it), Sniper is just glad to talk to a mom who won’t scold him for the whole phone call, Pyro hums music while Scout’s Ma sings the lyrics for them, Heavy talks about living in huge families with her, Demo asks her how she’s doing and if he can help her out at all, Engie is polite and also praises Scout, and Spy just tells her he’ll call her later before hanging up (Scout punches him for being rude to his mama).

Spy calls Scout's mom on the Fridays that Scout doesn't, mostly to check on her and sometimes to get into some, uh, “steamy” conversations over the phone. Sniper overheard a conversation between them once and now he can't look Scout or Spy in the eyes anymore.

And that's all I've got for right now! I hope you all liked my stupid headcanons!

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 22 - XuanXian friendship AU & Meng Yao can’t believe one of his boyfriends is this dumb.

Hello hello! First of all, it looks like I will have to slow down these posts to every Sunday at most, I might be able to get a few episodes per day but if you’re interested in reading you’re gonna have to wait the whole week. I started the intensive course preparing me for an exam and I have to put in 12h daily six days a week. On the upside my Sundays are completely free and I just spent the whole morning reading in my garden.

We have a romantic rooftop date and WuJi on the piano, this is gonna be good.

My bb LWJ is looking for literally the smallest sign that WWX is not going to melt his brain with his new brand of magic. He’s so worried.

They’re being so soft and vulnerable and I’m so glad WWX agreed to let LWJ help him. (Hhhhhmmmmmmgggggg the possibilities if these two idiots communicated oh my gooooooood)

That’s it, that’s the whole episode. Nothing else happens.

Ok clearly it wasn’t. But I just have to spiral down and scream about their fucking lack of armour. Maybe I’m too used to western high fantasy but they’re not even wearing leather or chainmail what the fuck.

NHS YOU CUPCAKE I ADORE YOU!

That whole battle scene with the Peacock. What the fuck

So... JC sword fighting and covered in blood. Hhhmmm... interesting visual.

(Listen I said I wasn’t gonna creep until SunShot, this is SunShot)

Something I’ve never understood: aren’t puppets mind-and-body controlled people at best, walking corpses at worst? Why would they stop if you chop off an arm? It’s not like they feel pain or have survival instincts, and if they’re corpses, or you can keep them in control after they die, delivering a mortal blow would do fuck all wouldn’t it? Solution: get a flamethrower.

... a well known man in a position of power, built like a brick shithouse and with a big-ass sword just decided he was the best for the task of infiltration and assassination. What the fuck Da-ge, was it LXC’s turn with the braincell or what? And these two just let him! I want to think if NHS had gone with them he’d smacked all three over the head with his fan.

Listen listen listen. I find my sister crying “unchaperoned” and in the company of the asshole son of a known can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants dude, IN HIS ROOM, and I’m murdering first and asking question second. And I don’t even have siblings. Hell, I find any girl crying in those circumstances and I’m getting stabby.

Ok, here’s another scene I’m taking to create a parallel btw “stable” and “unstable” WWX. You remember that when he got into a fight with the Peacock at Cloud Recesses the second Shijie appeared with a bit of manpower he backed the fuck off. Now she’s here physically holding onto him and begging him to go (remember she’s the one who’s crying and probably wants to leave and not have this turned into a public spectacle) and he’s so angry he isn’t even budging. Like, I’d understand if the fight wasn’t triggered by her being upset and she was just asking him to not fight, but she is super upset, and instead of comforting her like I’m sure he’s done a bunch of times he wants to stay and throw hands. Conclusion: get this boy to therapy.

Do NOT scream at MianMian.

Ok now I want to throw hands with the Peacock myself. (Once again I beg of you, someone re-write canon but with an actual responsible adult for these people to go to when this shit happens. Women need more female friendships and everyone needs an actual good adult role-model)

As always, any Jin disciple not MianMian is an asshole (I’m willing to forgive the one who went to fetch WWX just now).

Bless LWJ’s wrist grabs.

OH MY GOD GALAXY BRAIN MOMENT: So we remember when JC got his core melted and shoved WWX and he barely felt it. WHAT IF the Peacock already knowing WWX packs a mean punch, realises that being sent flying into a table is way too mild a response, and why would WWX hold back when he’d just made his Shijie cry you know? What is wrong with WWX, we can’t have him sick/dying this is a war and we need manpower, plus it’d make her cry and he refuses to see that ever again. So he confides in MianMian and they decide to keep an eye out for WWX, give him a hand AND try and guess tf is wrong with him. I’m not gonna say they guess it, because it’d be impossible but book MianMian was already good with herbs and medicine so maybe she gets to research? Regardless WWX suddenly has two very determined Jin puppies following him around and being nice to him? Like, genuinely? Like they seem to be pleased just by him chilling and taking a rest? I’ve always said I’d love for him and the Peacock to become friends (bc oh my god the bitchiness if those two joined forces) and LWJ going fucking insane because suddenly MIANMIAN is glued to his Wei Ying’s side would be hilarious.

In this AU she offhandedly comes out as bi, WWX either realises then and there or goes “oooohhh same” and WangJi.exe stops working for a sec while he rearranges his whole world view. Bonus if Peacock goes something like “we figured with you dating LWJ” and that’s how WangXian gets together. JC will never forgive his brother in law because fucking hell the PDA is OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS WHY. (It would be, they’re barely out of hormone hurricane hell and fighting battles all day, emotions run really high)

And that’s how, when WQ goes to ask WWX help with her brother MianMian (and probably LWJ? Idk, I don’t want to deprive myself of that “my body is ready” face he makes when WWX drinks his wine for him) is with her WN doesn’t die, WQ gets a girlfriend AND EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS.

Aw look at 2zun talking about their boyfriend.

Have I ever mentioned that LXC’s headpiece reminds me of a (western) dragon skull? Because it does and I think it’s super cool.

NMJ just said “that asshole Wen” according to the Netflix subtitles and idk if it is accurate, but holy shit I love it.

Well, that’s not an ominous place to go and try to break into or anything.

Oh he got caught. What a surprise. Who would’ve thought.

(Sneaky Meng Yao gives me life tho)

Meng Yao is enjoying this and I’m living for it, that’s such a pleased smile. Insert here a joke about him enjoying seeing his bf all bloody and on his knees.

Also his face when NMJ goes for the kill pretty much screams “this dumbass is gonna get obliterated, why am I with him again?”

LWJ’s Wei Ying senses were tingling. Also, assume I’m screaming about these yahoos not putting their hair up, that’s a scalping wanting to happen and those shits ain’t pretty.

BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE!

Btw I really like the fade to black cut style of the battle, helps not make me dizzy.

Nvm I’m dizzy now.

Holy shit I love how creepy YLLZ can get.

And that’s all for this episode my friends. Read you soon!

[themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy]

Okay this works for either Remus or Bucky but sister!reader (or psuedo-sister, borderline daughter) in bucky's case) prepares a little garden for her brother. She knows he feels like he's a destructive monster, but this is something he can look after and watch it grow and flourish whilst also being a perfect little hideaway when things get too much. Happy birthday precious boys 💕

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This?? This made me cry and it’s for sure the CUTEST THING I’VE EVER READ

I’ll do little headcanons for both

REMUS LUPIN

Okay so yeah once a month he grows fur and claws and fangs

And rampages through the forest wanting to kill almost everything he sees

If the boys weren’t there with him to distract him and were wear him out he’d really be killing creatures

And for such a sweet boy like him

It really makes him doubt himself as a person

But as his sister

You know that he’s the best person you know

He’s a better person than most non-werewolves are so lmao

You decide that you’re planting him a garden

You ask Hagrid for some plant fertilizer

Magical of course

And you ask Dumbledore for a spot of land that’s hidden somewhere where it can only be found by Remus

He leads you to almost the very end of the Hogwarts boundary line and points to a little clearing

“Students aren’t allowed over here but I will permit you, your brother, and your circle of friends because I admire what you’re doing.”

You get to planting

You plant some strawberries, some carrots, some cucumbers, some pumpkins, some peas, lettuce, everything

You also plant some daisies, some roses, some tulips, any flower seeds that you could find steal from Professor Sprout

You planted them and gave them just enough time to begin to sprout

And then it was his birthday because you know how tf to plan things

You bring him out around midday

He’s whining about being dragged so far but you have to take him so you very kindly tell your big brother to shut tf up

“We’re here”

He looks around and doesn’t really notice the little sprouts

“What do you mean?”

“There”

You point to the little plot of land that you’d been tending to lately

“I made you a garden.”

“A garden?”

You lead him to the plot of land and sit in between a few of the plants

“I know that sometimes you just want to get away from everyone and that sometimes you feel like a monster and while I assure you that’s not true, I figured that tending to a garden and keeping it alive and growing something might help you feel better about yourself. I placed a charm around it so that only you, me, James, and Sirius can get in. I know you might not want them in here so I haven’t told them about it. But if you want to, you can tell them and bring them here. Like I said, I don’t agree with your self-hate but I figured that you needed something to help you build your confidence and self-worth again. Happy Birthday.”

Tears were streaming down his face and he pulled you into the strongest hug you’d ever had

“Thank you Y/N. Really. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It means so much to me that you’d even do something like this. I love you.”

You smiled and just hugged your brother like it was just a nice wholesome hug

He goes down there to tend to his garden at least once a day and brings you food from there all the time

He likes hanging out there with you :’)

BUCKY BARNES

He tries not to show emotion because he’s afraid of it

But you know that he for sure loves you

Because he tells you a lot

He wants to make sure that you know

Because he knows that he’s not the most expressive person

And as your father figure he doesn’t want to make you feel like he doesn’t love you

You decide that for his birthday you’re going to do something special

You asked Tony for permission to turn one of his empty labs into a greenhouse

He agreed bc he thought it was for you lmao

You got to work planting vegetables, fruits, flowers, just every plant that you can fit 

You hid the room for around a week before the plants started to sprout and show in the dirt

His suspicions are raised bc you keep running off and you stay wherever you are for hours

He’s afraid that some boy was with you

He’s on the verge of yelling at you for your possible boyfriend when you come into his room

It’s like eight o’clock in the morning on his birthday but he’s awake

You drag him out of his bed in his pajamas still

You led him through the halls and down to an empty lab

He was rlly confused

“Y/N, what are you doi-”

He stops and stares at the inside of the room that’s just full of dirt and little plant sprouts

“What is this?”

“You worry me sometimes. I know that you think you’re a bad person and i really don’t think so, but I can’t control your thoughts. But, by caring for something and keeping it alive, you’ll hopefully see that you’re an amazing person who is capable of love and deserves it back. I’m hoping that watching these plants grow under your care makes you realize how great of a person you are, or at least that you’re not the monster you say you are. And I know that you like being alone too, you can do that here. No one knows about this, Tony gave me permission to use the space but he doesn’t know what it’s really for. I really hope you like it.”

He can’t say anything, he’s completely speechless

He’s not great with words but actions speak louder and as he pulled you into his arms for a hug

And you realized that he used his metal arm to grab you which he never does

Says he’ll hurt you

You realize that he’s gonna be okay

And that you’re gonna be there for him the entire way

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[echy-hexi]

Me:You let a pyro have a match... What did you think she was going to do? Just light her cigarette?

My dad, almost having his eyebrows singed off:Yes

Me:...I'm disappointed

My dad:As you should be.

///

King:hey I gots a question

Me:Nani?

King:What happens when a girl takes a penis enlargement pill?

Me:...I- what?

///

Me:You're too sober Faith, go get a beer.

///

JJ:Bruh why the fuck are the staff at this funeral home crying?

Celo:Because they work at a fucking funeral home

King:But they should be used to it

Me:No mom

JJ:Yea but you'd think they'd be desensitized to it.

Me:they're paid to cry

Celo:People have emotions unlike you. Not everyone is an emotionless piece of shit.

King:Sympathy

JJ:I'm not an emotionless piece of shit, you're confusing me with Faith

Me:lmao

///

JJ:It looks like Satan's cock

Me:Wtf

Celo:It does

Me:How would you kn-... Nvm

King:Satan, did you just send a dick pic? [Context:They all call me "Satan"]

Me:No wtf

JJ:Trap

King:Don't lie

Fai:oh

Me:I'm literally bleeding from my twat and you assume I just sent a dick pic

King:TF is a twat?

Celo:Pussy

King:o

Me:I regret life decisions

///

JJ:Lei are these still your notes for us?

"My brother said he is a explosive potato"

"Oofity scoop"

"I mad I wasted 4 years at LCA"

"ok listen here failed abortion im tired of trying to be nice so fuck off you ugly lonely ugly cunt and good night"

"Drink coffee it doesn't stunt ur growth although u don't have growth"

"lmao I got kicked out of 2 friend groups bc i said tiddies in Japanese"

"This is why you're not allowed to have a kid"

///

JJ:Isen wants to speak to your manager lmfao

///

Me:We're great friends here at Chaotic Evil™ the Group Chat HQ

JJ:Move I'm gay

Fai:Oh great

Me:We know

///

Masky:I don't know JJ I just want to kill someone so I can eat *vibrates eyes*

Me:o h l o r d

Me:gEt ThE hOlY wAtEr MoThErFuCkErS

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Masky:NOT THAT!

JJ:*sprays with holy water*

Me:XD

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JJ:*spritz spritz bitch*

///

JJ:Everytime somebody says some dumbass shit I have a split decision between saying: "fuckin pardon?" or "come again *****??"

Fai:Why not both

Fai:Mix them together

JJ:Pardon again *****? Fuckin come again??

///

JJ:Anyway I'll be sleeping w multiple soft n fluffy pillows like the trashy hoe i am and y'all will just have to deal, g'night

///

Me:My sister wants to send a bird and some grass to China

///

Fai:i'll just stab him in the dick. No more kids for you buddy

///

Me:Reasons I don't need to discuss you butt taco

///

Jeffo:That goddamn bever exposed my twitter

///

JJ:Don't fuck rachel gardner tf y'all are both underage

///

Celo:Concern is futile

///

Su:You're literally talking to someone who read Danny x Rachel fanfiction at 5 in the morning

///

King:How y'all doing

Fai:Dying

///

Me:*recites the entire script of "history of the entire world, i guess" in chat*

///

JJ:YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANYBODY BEING A BOTTOM CELO

JJ:I PUSHED YOU AND YOU LITERALLY FUCKING MOANED

Su:w o a h t h e r e

///

Me:"My parents are going to beat me" kinky

///

Me:Last year:King being accused of raping JJ

///

Me:ur mum gae

///

Me:SHE WAS LOOKING AT LEVI'S DICK-

Su:And I oop-

Fai:Stop. Halt. Halt. Stop.

///

Me:EVERYONE IS GAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Fai:No lei

King:Nope

Me:GO BACK TO YOUR CLOSET

///

Me:lets rape africa

Fai:lets not???

Me:they scrambled to see who could rape africa the fastest

///

Me:let's blame the maine on spain

///

JJ:Cactus dildo

///

Me:the holes just appear over night and magically get white stuff in them-

Fai:Alright

Su:I-

///

Me:FBI OPEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS

///

Me:michigan's a 4-year-old basic moody bitch wearing crocs and socks drinking some fucking starbucks and breaking down in the corner of america while everyone else gets high and drunk af and ignores him to cry. except ohio

ohio is michigan's not alone buddy

///

Me:kim kardashian is a boy?

///

Me:levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith

Fai:halt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halt

///

Me:all i heard was big. what-

Fai:don't worry bout it

///

JJ:You ask your broke ass friends if they have money

///

Me:my sister has a girlfriend apparently-

Fai:Her hand

Me:no

King:Jeffo

Fai:ye

Me:This chick she met in a game

JJ:When's the wedding

Me:Lmao

///

"You can't legally stab children"

"Not on purpose anyways"

///

Me:TIL my dad's boss lives near Jeffo and my sister's into punky skaters

JJ:TODAY I LEARNED THAT CELO'S MOM KNOWS MY MOM WHAT THE FUCK

Me:so kids what lesson did we learn

Fai/JJ:Nothing

JJ:Jynx

Fai:This is horrible

///

Celo:unholy tutu screeching intensifies

///

Me:im seriously crying by saying "im a weiner dog"

Me:i am the weiner dog

Me:the holy weiner dog

Su:w h e e z e

Me:im the all-mighty weiner dog

Celo:I can't breathe

Su:c r y i n g

Celo:And I'm ashamed

Me:im crying-

Me:im not

Me:im probably contact-high

///

Su:The question is not are you choking, its what are you choking on?

///

JJ:"Go jerk off to your fictional waifus, you horny fucking weeb"

///

JJ:I speak English not oui oui baguette motherfucker

///

King:i just had a flashback of when Destiny Powell started to have nicknames and called Nini tater tot.

King:then christoff just yelled, TATER TOT SHE'S A THOT

JJ:I don't remember Destiny saying that but i definitely remember Christoff saying that

///

Me:hi and welcome to college! you want fresh air? WELL IT CANT FUCKIN HAPPEN! BECAUSE WE'RE TOO AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE! SO THIS IS ALL YA GET. A SMALL CRACK IN THE WINDOW!

///

Me:i enjoy the fact that none of us can actually bother correcting shit after sending unless someone points it out or we notice and it pisses us off.

///

Me:i read that as "my new seat in meth is great"

///

JJ:stop flirting some of us are trying to spill some tea

///

Celo:Squidward thicc af 😏

Me:I- Cel why-

Cel:Aren't you the bitch that likes fell

Me:fuck you dont use this to your advantedge

///

Cel:Also, how does that explain why Skyler doesn't even have a dick

///

Me, using something from Tumblr:

Cel:There's a fight going on down the block. Wanna go see?

JJ:What-

Lei:Wh- what the fuck- why?

Fai throws Jeffo and Kint down the hallway to their right yelling “FUCK YOU!"

Sounds of things smashing

Lei:I could use some air and time out of the house. Sure why not-

Est:Take me with you I've been stuck in here for *counting on fingers* 50 years-

Lei:You're only 21-

Est:It only looks like I'm 21

Lei:What the fuck-

---

JJ:Did Cal just tell me he loves me for the first time?

Lei:Yes.

JJ:And did I just do finger guns back?

Lei:Yes. Yes you did.

---

Cel:Hello-

Fai, grabbing through the bars:*Starts to choke him*

Lei: Faith! Faith! Hold on let him explain!

Fai:He’s selling us out!

Lei:Let. Him. Explain.

Cel:*Coughs* Thank you, Leila.

Cel:I’m selling you out.

Lei:*Angry screaming*

Cel:*Choking noises*

---

Cel:Why are you smiling?

Jeffi:Can’t I just smile? Maybe something good happened and I’m happy!

JJ:Faith tripped and fell in the parking lot.

King:Did she die?

JJ:No

///

Me:you force fed me pizza when i was a baby i remember the future

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Me:all these quotes from the internet, family members, or friends. then there's "ahem You can't be bisexual if you're sansexual. You get to live with this information now, bye"

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Some random discord shit

[kgysj-blog]

day 3 - 4/27/17

dear depression, hiya again!! ill just get right into it for the day since im a little late doin my daily post haha okay so i had a cute outfit sat out for school today & i got up at 7:05 & the tardy bell rings at 7:30 so i just threw on the cute outfit & straightened my hair really really fast & i had no time to do my make up so i went to school without that shiz. during first period (english) we watched wuthering heights again & it was super good. idk i just have some weird thing for doomed love stories it's weird idek.. lol. then i went to second period (math) and we got our tests back & i made a frickin 99 bc i forgot to change the sign on one of the problems & it made me hellllllaaaaa mad ugh but its gucci. we went over some more problems but ford made them harder and challenging for the people that don't pay attention i guess bc they weren't hard for me or connor lmao. i was in a great ass mood and i got to break and i was walkin in and chezly was walkin out and this nigga picked me up and took my to a chair & sat me down then patted my head and I ab died hahahahah i love that dude. then i ate two pieces of pizza at break bc it's good as shit. then i went to third period (anatomy) and did this learnsmart thing & i was actually really surprised bc i knew a few of the answers without having to go back and read on it so that was good. i finished w half an hour to just chill so i played the beer pong game on my phone (which im good as frick at might i add). then i went to fourth (economics) and we had an open book test which im pretty sure i most likely failed l o l but it's fine im fine. after that ky was crackin me up the entire time idek why i was laughing like a dumbass the whole time hahahaha but brett kept telling me shit wasn't really funny & all that & he's usually not like that and it really annoyed me tbh. like i can laugh at whatever tf i want, take ya bitter ass and go on somewhere bih. everyone was just in a really good mood i loved it (other than Brett, lol) then i went and sat in bakers w the rest of my buddies and it was like every single thing was funny and i felt happy it was weird idek i was just happy and relaxed & laid back. Andy looked over to me & he was "seriously everyone is in a good mood today" and it made me happy bc i love it when my friends are happy. so anyway, i went to career tech & i made up this test from like 2 weeks ago & i made a 100 on that bit and it put me in a good ass mood. then we had this practice sheet & i was answering correctly left and right & it was just good. then i was walking to the bus & i looked at Ry & i was like "im just really happy right now like im in such a good mood and i have been all day" and she said it makes her happy to see other people happy & that made me happy/sad bc i don't think she is.. i don't like when other people have problems bc i have a ton & it really does suck. well when i got to the bus i had a text from my bud that im not supposed to be talking to. it was just a game request thing but... why are we still talking? i am supposed to be on like my fourth or fifth day without him.. i think he's scared of what ill do if we cut off contact completely idk. he's the one that came up with the idea but now he's the one texting me. i mean im not complaining bc i dont know how id feel or be doing if he wasn't talking to me but ya know im just really confused. we played a few games & he stopped replying which i understand but, like i said, im just v confused. i slept when i got home from like 5-8. it was nice bc no practice. but i actually have some feelings to talk ab now lmao here we go. i think i have an over thinking issue. i mean i know a lot of girls do but for some reason i feel like mine is super bad. i psycho analyze EVERYTHING. its honestly ridiculous. also, i heard this song on the country radio & it reminded me of summer & Peyt and it made me sad so i turned it off bc no sadness :) i just wish i didnt have problems and we could work one day :/ last week its like i had come to the conclusion that he was ready to be done which meant i had to be obviously & i was hella fucking depressed and cried every single day but it wasn't all bc of him. i just have those kinds of problems & for some reason i couldn't control myself last week it was strange. last week it's like i had come to terms w being done w him & then he texts me on friday and tells me we need to talk in person and clarify some things & all that. well i thought what he said ab us needing to distance ourselves meant we were done so i was confused on what else there was to say...? but anyway i was kinda looking forward to closure and all that in person. like finally getting to hear his thoughts face to face so he could get it all out and us be done and learn to move on. well he never texted me back about it and then at like 1 am Sunday morning he tells me we don't have to talk anymore? idk THE WHOLE THING IS A MESS. we talked and said we needed to not talk until i had bettered myself bc my cutting and all that scares the shit out of him (and all my friends) and that he feels he is part of the reason. it made me sick when i read that. i don't want him ever upset or scared or anything when he thinks of me... i felt really bad. but i was like okay ya know we are gonna have to learn to not have each other soon anyway so i guess starting now would be helpful. and i was completely on board. and now we've talked every single day. and its so confusing idek. I just know i still love him and for some mf reason i can't change it and its embarrassing bc i feel like we will never be the same or even be together again. idek i just needed to get it all out :) i have sectionals tomorrow and i am really freaking nervous like REALLY NERVOUS but i need to chill out and focus so i can get top 3. i guess that's all for tonight.. goodnight :) love, g