#Only those that risk going too far can possibly know how far they can go.

[sosa2imagines]

My doll...

Disclaimer- Something my pervert brain thought about, I hope you all enjoy. Warning- Soft dark Bucky, smut, possessiveness, jealousy, 5.3k words.

Bucky Barnes had always been a man of few words. A soldier by nature, a soldier by habit. But it was something about you that had always made him feel like he was at a crossroads with himself, like his life could go one way or another depending on whether or not he could ever find the courage to speak up.

The first time he realized he was in love with you, it wasn’t a dramatic moment. There were no bells, no grand gestures. It wasn’t like he had a clear, defining thought of this is it. It was quieter than that. He was sitting next to you in the Avengers’ compound, watching you work on some new project you had thrown yourself into, fingers deftly moving over wires and circuits. Your brow furrowed in concentration, lips parted in that way that made him want to reach out and touch you.

He never had before, of course he was too afraid of ruining the friendship, too afraid of making things weird.

And that was how it had always been. Quiet. Unspoken.

But even with those feelings slowly building, Bucky stayed quiet. He watched you from the edges, from the safety of his distance, telling himself that if you ever really loved him, you’d say it first. He couldn’t risk the possibility of losing you altogether. So, he waited. And waited. And waited.

Tonight, was supposed to be like any other. A rare night off from their duties. No mission on the horizon, no danger lurking around every corner. The team wasn’t together, except for you. You suggested going to a bar nearby for a drink and a break from the constant grind of life in the compound. Bucky had decided, almost reluctantly, to say yes.

Bucky had, of course, known you cared. In all the small moments, like how you would always check in on him, ask him about his dreams or how he was really feeling. And the way your eyes lingered on him when you thought he wasn’t looking.

I know you love me, he thought. I know it.

But Bucky never had the nerve to say it out loud. And now, here he was, sitting across from you at the bar, staring into his glass of whiskey, wishing he could just reach out and touch your hand without the world falling apart around him.

He was far too aware of how close you were, and yet how far away you still seemed.

You were laughing, your voice light and full of life. You always seemed to shine brighter when you were in this mood, the weight of the world lifted, even if only for a moment. But Bucky could see the flickers of doubt in your eyes. Could see the way you kept looking over at him, waiting for something.

Maybe tonight was the night you’d say it. Maybe tonight you’d do what Bucky couldn’t bring himself to do.

But as he watched you, a strange feeling began to take hold. A spark of jealousy. It was a ridiculous thing, he knew. But it wasn’t about you. It wasn’t about the way you looked at other people—it was about the way you looked at him and didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything.

It was then that a woman approached him.

Bucky didn’t want to be rude. He’d never been the type to just turn someone down, but when the woman slid onto the seat next to him, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him, he didn’t feel the usual discomfort. Instead, he felt an odd sense of power and control, maybe.

She was bold, confident. The way she laughed, the way she touched his arm, the way she spoke to him, it all felt like a challenge. A test. And before he could stop himself, he realized something. He wasn’t afraid of this woman. He wasn’t uncomfortable.

But you were.

He saw the way you stiffened in your seat, the way your smile faltered. You hadn’t said a word, but Bucky could tell, he knew. You were jealous.

And for some reason, that made his heart pound. A dark thought crept into his mind, ‘Maybe this is how it’ll happen. Maybe I can make you admit it. Maybe I can get you to finally say what we both know is true.’

The woman leaned in closer, her fingers brushing his. Her breath was warm against his ear as she whispered, “So, what do you say? Care to dance?”

Bucky glanced at you once more. You were still staring at him, but now, there was a mix of frustration and hurt in your eyes. His breath caught in his throat. He should stop this. He should turn away. But a dangerous impulse surged through him.

“Sure.” he said, standing up without another word, letting the woman take his hand and pull him toward the dance floor.

He could hear your breath hitch from across the room. He could feel your gaze burning and intense. But he didn’t break. Not yet.

They moved in close as the music shifted, her body pressed against his. It was all a game now, a game Bucky wasn’t sure he wanted to play but couldn’t help himself from continuing. Every move he made, every gesture, was designed to make you feel something. To make you feel what he had felt for so long ‘the ache.’ The longing. The desperate desire for something more.

But as they danced, his thoughts were on you. Only you. And all the ways he had hurt you without ever realizing it.

You were standing now, getting your things, heading for the door. And Bucky’s chest clenched as he realized something. He couldn’t let you go. Not like this. Not anymore.

“We are done!” he said to the woman, his voice sharp as he brushed past her, heading toward you.

The cool night air hit him as he caught up to you just outside the bar.

“Doll, wait,” he said, his voice catching in his throat. “Where are you going?”

You didn’t turn around, didn’t even slow down. “I’m going back to the compound, Bucky. I’m done.” Your voice was quiet, but it was laced with finality. “I’m done pretending. Done watching you with her.”

“I’m going back to the compound,” you repeated, your voice a little too calm, too controlled. “I need to clear my head. I think I’ll go check in with Steve.”

The moment the words left your mouth, you felt the shift in the air. Bucky froze.

You hadn’t expected it, Bucky was always so controlled, so guarded. But there was something in his eyes now. Something darker. The breath you’d taken in to steady yourself suddenly caught in your throat.

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice was low, tight with barely contained emotion. His grip on your wrist tightened, and you could see his jaw clench, the muscles beneath his skin rippling with barely restrained anger. “You’re going back to Steve?”

You nodded slowly, avoiding his gaze. You had no idea why, but you couldn’t meet his eyes right now. Maybe it was because you could feel his anger building, and it made you uneasy.

“Yeah,” you said, trying to sound indifferent, but even to your own ears, the words felt hollow. “I’ll be fine, Bucky. I just need some space.”

You tried to pull away, but his grip on your wrist tightened, pulling you back toward him. His eyes locked onto yours, and there was something in the depths of his gaze something primal that made your breath catch.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growled, his voice rough, his tone clipped. “You’re not going back to Steve. Never ever!”

His hand moved to your other wrist, and before you could protest, he spun you around, backing you up against the cold brick wall of the alley. You gasped at the suddenness of it, the sharp heat of his body pressing against you. The force of it left you breathless, but it wasn’t just the physical contact that left you feeling winded, it was the storm swirling in Bucky’s eyes.

“I don’t care about your games, doll,” Bucky continued, his voice now a dangerous whisper. “I don’t care if you’re trying to protect yourself or play it safe. You don’t get to walk away from this. Not after all these months. Not after I’ll final say what I should’ve said the first goddamn time I saw you.”

Your heart hammered in your chest as Bucky’s breath came faster now, his face inches from yours. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the anger and frustration practically crackling in the air between you. His hand was on the wall next to your head, caging you in, his body pressing into yours like he was trying to hold you there, to make you listen.

“Don’t you dare go back to Steve!” he snarled. “I know what you’re trying to do. I know what you’re hiding from. But don’t you dare tell me you’re choosing him. Not when we both know what’s between us.”

Your stomach twisted at his words, a jolt of panic rising up in your chest. You had to get away from him, from this. But somehow, the words felt wrong. He was right. Something had shifted tonight, everything had shifted tonight. And the more you tried to run from it, the more you realized that you were just as tangled up in it as he was.

You shook your head, trying to pull away from his grip. “Bucky, stop. Just stop.”

But he didn’t. His hand moved from the wall to your face, cupping your jaw with surprising gentleness. His thumb stroked over your skin, the touch almost tender despite the fury that was still burning in his eyes. It was like he was trying to hold on to you, trying to keep you from slipping away.

“I’ve spent months pretending I didn’t want you,” Bucky muttered, his voice low and raw. “I’ve spent months watching you with him, keeping my distance, telling myself it was enough just being close to you, just being around you. But it’s never been enough, Doll. It’s never been enough, and I can’t do it anymore.”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ve always loved you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. For a moment, neither of you moved. The world stood still.

You swallowed hard, fighting the surge of emotions that were building inside you, fighting the tears threatening to break free. You had never seen Bucky like this so raw, so vulnerable, so… angry. It terrified you, but in a way, it also made you realize just how deeply he cared for you. How much he had always cared for you.

His grip on your face tightened, but there was no anger in his eyes now, only something softer, something that made your heart beat even faster. “I don’t want to claim you, Doll. I want to have you. I want you to choose me.”

Before you could respond, Bucky’s lips crashed into yours again, desperate and urgent. It was no longer a question, no longer a plea. It was an answer. His hands slid to your back, pulling you into him with such force that you could feel his heart racing against yours.

The kiss was everything every unspoken word, every hidden desire, every emotion they had both kept buried for so long. Bucky was done hiding, done pretending, and as you kissed him back with equal fervor, you knew there was no going back from this.

“Don’t go back to him,” Bucky whispered against your lips, his voice thick with need. “I’m not letting you go.”

You didn’t know what to say. The words felt like they were stuck in your throat. You had always thought you’d have time to figure this out, but now that the truth was out there between you, out there between him, you knew that there was no more time for pretending. No more time for games.

You pressed closer to him, your hands threading through his hair as you kissed him again, and in that moment, you realized there was only one thing that truly mattered.

Bucky dragged you in the room at the backside of the bar.

Without warning, he pins you against the wall, his body pressing against yours. His hands cup your face, holding your gaze captive.

He presses himself closer, one thigh between your legs. His hands move from your face to your hips, gripping them firmly. His lips graze your ear as he speaks, his voice a low grumble. “I'm going to show you exactly how much I want you, right here, right now.”

His mouth closes on your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin. You feel his fingers slipping under the hem of your tee, tracing a path of fire along your waist. “I've wanted you for so long, you have no idea. Watching you, smelling your scent, feeling your touch... it's been driving me crazy.”

His lips move down the column of your throat, leaving a trail of hot kisses along the way. One of his hands moves up to cup your breast, his thumb gently circling your nipple through the thin fabric of your bra.

You let out a gasp, arching into his touch. Your body is responding to his every move, awakening a need you've kept buried for far too long. Bucky smiles against your skin, enjoying the way he's unraveling you piece by piece.

“You like that, don't you? Feeling my hands on you, my mouth on your skin.” He whispers in your ear before capturing your earlobe between his teeth, biting down just hard enough to send a shiver down your spine.

His other hand slides under your skirt, trailing up your thigh, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

Your breath hitches, your legs growing weak as Bucky's touch becomes more and more brazen.

He chuckles lowly, satisfied to see you coming undone under his hands. “You're so responsive... so sensitive. I love seeing you like this, completely at my mercy.”

He spins you around, pressing your front against the wall. You feel his weight press into your back, his hands roaming everywhere, claiming you as his own.

“I'm going to make you mine, here and now. There's no stopping this, no denying what's been boiling between us for so damn long.”

His lips find the nape of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin. His free hand slides down your stomach, resting just at the waistband of your panties. The contact is almost too much, your mind reeling from the barrage of sensations.

“I want you so badly... Can I have you? Right here, right now?” He asks, his voice a deep, raspy whisper. He's poised on the edge, waiting for your answer, his body tense with anticipation.

You can't find the words to speak, too overwhelmed by the storm of emotions and sensations he's stirring within you. Instead, you respond by arching your back, pressing yourself against him, wordlessly signaling your consent.

Bucky lets out a guttural growl, the sound filling the air. He doesn't need anything more than that. His hands move with newfound urgency, peeling away the layers of fabric separating you from him.

He turns you around, his expression darkened with desire. He looks at you hungrily, taking in every inch of your exposed skin. His hands run up your sides, tracing the curves of your body, committing every detail to memory.

“You're so beautiful... So goddamn perfect.” His words are punctuated by small, lingering kisses along your collarbone, across your chest, down along your stomach. You're lost in the sensation, your body on fire under his touch.

He sinks to his knees in front of you, his lips continuing their exploration of your body. He kisses and nips at the tender skin of your inner thighs, teasing and tantalizing you with every touch.

“I want to taste you... I need to taste you...” He husks, his hands wrapping around your hips, pulling you closer. You can feel his breath on your core, hot and eager, making you shiver in anticipation.

His tongue darts out, tasting you lightly, just enough to send a rush of pleasure through you. You gasp, your fingers threading into his hair, holding him close. Bucky smiles against your flesh, enjoying how responsive you are to his ministrations.

He alternates between soft, almost chaste kisses and more firm, calculated licks. He's enjoying the taste of you, the sounds of your moans and gasps. His hands grip your thighs, holding you firm while his mouth works magic, making you moan obscenely.

“You taste so good... Better than I ever imagined.” He lifts his gaze, meeting your eyes. The raw hunger in his expression takes your breath away.

You want to speak, but your mind is a jumbles mess, unable to form a coherent word.

“You're driving me crazy, doll. I want to devour you, to make you mine in every way possible.”

And then he does. He dives in, his mouth devouring you in a frenzy of passion determined to bring you closer to the edge.

Your gasps turn into cries of pleasure, your body writhing under his skilful mouth.  Bucky's hands grip your hips, holding you steady as he brings you closer to your climax.

The world seems to spin around you, your senses overwhelmed by the pleasure Bucky is giving you. He's relentless, pushing you higher and higher, determined to give you more than you ever dreamed of.

His tongue works relentlessly, applying just the right amount of pressure to drive you wild. Your fingers dig into his shoulders, nails biting into his flesh, anchoring you on the ground.

Just as your were about to come, Bucky suddenly pulls away, his breath ragged, his eyes dark with desire. He climbs to his feet, pinning you against the wall once again

“I need to be inside you... Now.”

He's barely able to get the words out, his voice thick with need. He captures your mouth in a fierce kiss, his hands already pushing your skirt up around your waist.

His body presses against yours, the hard length of him rubbing against your core. You can feel the heat and strength of him, the evidence of his desire poking you.

“I need you, need this... I need you now..” He repeats the words like a mantra, his lips trailing along your jaw, your neck, your ear.

He pulls you around, turning you to face the wall once again. You feel the cool surface against your skin, a stark contrast to the heat of his body behind you.

“I'm not going to be gentle.” He warns, his hands gripping your hips, pulling them back against him.

You feel him against you, hard and eager, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His hips move against yours, and you can feel just how much he wants you, how badly he needs you.

“Can you take it? Can you handle me like this?” He asks, one hand traveling up your spine, his fingers tracing the line of your vertebrae. His touch is demanding, possessive, but somehow still tender, as if he's afraid he'll hurt you.

You manage to nod, too far gone with pleasure to form words. Bucky lets out a low, satisfied sound, his mouth nipping at your shoulder as his hand slides around to your front.

He cups your breast, his thumb grazing over your nipple, teasing and provoking.

“I'm going to take you, right here, just like this.” He growls, his hips pressing against yours.

You can feel him against you, his body poised and ready, the tip of his cock, teasing your entrance. “Are you ready for me?” He asks, his lips against your ear, his breath hot and urgent.

You can only manage a small, breathless moan in response, your body yearning for him to take you, to make you his own.

“I need to hear you say it. Tell me you want me... That you need me...” His words are a needy, almost desperate plea, his self-control hanging by a thread.

You find your voice, forcing the words out despite the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. “I want you... I need you... Please...”

“That's all I needed to hear.” The words are a rough, guttural grunt, the last vestiges of his restraint snapping. He positions himself behind you, the head of him rubbing against your entrance.

His hands grip your hips again, holding you in place. He's so close, so very close... But still, he waits, wanting to make sure you're ready for the next step.

“Just tell me if it's too much, okay? If I go too far, I want to know.” He whispers the words, his voice betraying a hint of vulnerability, a hint of doubt, despite the powerful, animalistic way he's holding you.

You nod, your body thrumming with anticipation. You trust him, trust him not to hurt you, and that trust makes all the difference. You push back against him, signaling your readiness in the most primal way possible.

He lets out a low, gravelly moan, his body trembling with the effort of holding back. He needs this as much as you do, maybe even more. “God, I can't wait any longer...”

He pushes forward, slowly, carefully. He's being as gentle as he can be, wanting to give you time to adjust to the intrusion. But it's torture for him, the heat, the tightness, the way you're clenching and squeezing him, enveloping him in a way he's never felt before.

“You're so damn tight... So perfect...” He groans the words, his body moving involuntarily, the pleasure too much to resist. His hands grip your hips tighter, his mouth trailing kisses along your back, your shoulders, your neck. He can't get enough of you, his body moving in a rhythm that's old as time itself.

“You feel so good. I never knew it could be like this.” He mutters the words against your skin, his voice thick with ecstasy.

He picks up the pace, his body moving more urgently now, following the pull of pleasure that's driving him onward. His hands are everywhere, caressing and touching, worshiping every inch of you like a man possessed.

“I could stay inside you forever. I never want to let you go.” He murmurs the words into your ear, his voice ragged and broken. He's lost in the moment, in the pleasure, in you.

You reach a hand back, tangling your fingers into his hair, holding onto him like an anchor in the storm. All the rights and wrongs, thrown out of the window.

“Don't let go... Don't ever let go.” He whispers, his lips finding your neck, the skin there already tender from his earlier attentions. His movements become rougher, more frenzied, as if he's desperate to get even closer to you, to merge himself with you in every way possible.

“I need you... I need you so damn much...” The words are a broken chant, gasped into your ear, his breath hot and ragged against your skin.

He's moving even faster now, the sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the air, the only break in the silence apart from your moans and gasps. The pleasure is building, growing stronger and stronger with every thrust, threatening to consume you both. You can feel yourself close to the edge, teetering on the very precipice of ecstasy. Bucky knows it too, he can sense it, sense the mounting tension in your body.

“You're close... I can feel it. I'm so close...” He growls the words, his voice tight with the effort to hold back, to keep control for just a little while longer.

“I want to hear you say it... I want you to let go... Tell me you're mine.” His voice is harsh and ragged, his body trembling with the effort of holding back his release.

You struggle to find the words, to form a coherent thought amidst the haze of pleasure. “Y-yours.. I'm... Yours...”

The words send a wave of pleasure through Bucky, his hips twitching involuntarily at the sound of your surrender. “Say it again... I need to hear it again…”

“Yours... I'm yours, Bucky... All yours...” You gasp the words, your voice quivering with the force of your ecstasy.

That's all it takes. Your surrender, your declaration of ownership, it breaks the dam that's been holding him back. “Mine... You're mine... All mine...” He repeats the words like a mantra, his body moving with a new fervor, a new intensity.

“Steve won’t take care of you like I can.” He thrust, “All I have to do is…” he hits you with another powerful thrust, messing up with your senses. “Make a sad face and remind him of my past!” He hits another powerful thrust, and the voice you make is between a cry and a moan. “He will happily give you to me!”

He buries his face in your neck, his lips finding that sensitive spot just below your ear. When he speaks again, his voice is a possessive, guttural growl, thick with desire. “And don't you ever forget it.”

His lips find yours again, claiming your mouth in a kiss that's hard and demanding. He's drowning in you, in this moment, the world around you reduced to nothing but the heat and the friction and the pleasure.

He's close, so close, but he won't give in, won't let go until he's brought you to your release, until he's given you everything he can give.

“Come for me, doll... Let go... Give yourself to me... I want to feel it, feel you...” His words are a rough, ragged plea, a demand made out of pure need. He's holding back, waiting for you to reach your peak, his body taut and trembling with the effort to hold back his own pleasure.

You can feel yourself teetering on the edge, balanced between light and dark, pleasure and pain, sanity and madness.

“Let go... Just let go... I've got you...” The words, the promise, they're enough to push you over the edge. You shatter, your body arching against his, a cry of ecstasy tears from your lungs. The world spins around you, your release crashing through you like a tsunami, leaving you breathless and trembling.

Bucky's there, holding you against him, his arms wrapping around, holding you up, keeping you from collapse. He's still hard inside you, so close to his own climax.

“God, you're so perfect... I've never experienced anything like this before...” His voice is gruff and broken, his breath hot against your neck as he pulls you flush against him. He lets out a low, guttural moan, his body trembling with need and restraint. “I need you.... I need to let go... you will let me come in you, won’t you? You will be a good girl for me, right doll?”

You nod, your body still thrumming with pleasure as you push back against him, signaling your absent-minded consent.

“You're going to be the death of me, woman...” His words are a rough whisper, a promise and a threat all at once. His grip tightens around you, his body tense and coiled like a spring. “Just a little more... just a little longer... I need to give you everything...”

He buries his face in your hair, his breath coming in jagged pants now, his body taut and trembling with the effort to hold back just a little longer.

“Almost there.... almost... I'm so close...” The words are a ragged gasp.

He let out a low, guttural groan, his body tensing against yours, his arms pulling you tight against him. “God, I... I can't... I'm...” he doesn't finish the sentence. Instead, he buries his face in your hair, muffling his moan against your shoulder as his body tightens and spasms, his release washing over him like a tide, powerful and consuming.

He holds you close as he comes down, his body trembling with the aftershocks, his breath warm against your skin. “God... that was... incredible...” The words are a rough whisper, his voice thick with emotion. He presses a tender kiss to your shoulder, his lips lingering against your skin, as if he can't bear to let you go for even a moment.

He tightens his arms around you, pulling you flush against him, as if he can't bear to have you any further than an inch away from him. “You're amazing, you know that?”

He nuzzles your neck, his lips leaving tender kisses along the sensitive skin there. He's so gentle, so different from the rough, desperate man who'd been consumed by need a few moments ago. As he sees his release dripping from between your legs, his eyes darken, making him feel more possessive about you.

“Mine...” He mutters the word against your skin, his voice thick with possessiveness. He knows it's probably a bit irrational, but he can't help it. He needs to express his claim over you, his desire to protect and own you in every way imaginable.

He then moves his fingers on your thigh, collecting some of his release on his fingers, bringing them closer to your mouth, a silent order.

You know what he wants, what he's demanding, even if he doesn't say the words aloud. Your eyes meet his, holding his gaze, as you slowly bring your hand up to wrap around his wrist, drawing his fingers into your mouth.

“Good girl…” He murmurs the words as he watches you, his eyes darkened by a possessive, primal need. He loves how submissive you are in this moment, how willing and eager you are to please him.

He holds your chin, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips, feeling the glide of his own release against them. “You have no idea what you do to me, doll. You make me lose all control. And I love it…”

He leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss that's equal parts tender and possessive. He can taste himself on your lips, and the thought just makes him want you more, more fiercely than before.

He pulls back enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath coming faster now, his body stirring once more. “I swear, doll, you're going to be the death of me...”

He captures your lips again, kissing you deeply, his tongue delving into your mouth, tasting you, claiming you, marking you as his in every way he can think of.

Little do you know, about the real possessiveness he feels about you. Bucky is already planning to take you far away from everyone. To keep you all to himself. While you are already lost in the kiss and afterglow of the sex, Bucky is already planning about the future.

He kisses you again, with a fierce intensity, his hands roaming over your body, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of you. He's thinking of all the ways he wants to have you, all the ways he wants to make you his. He's already made up his mind. You're not just a passing fancy, or a distraction. You're his now, and he's not going to let you go. Not ever.

He then sits on the couch with you, while you rest in his arms, he picks out his phone preparing to take you away. He types out a quick message, his hands still caressing your skin, his eyes never leaving your face.

He's arranging for a secure location, somewhere remote, somewhere he can keep you safe and, more importantly, all to himself.

“My doll.”

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[pekoposting]

This is interesting! Particularly because it's a departure from the usual conclusions that hardcore Pekoyama fans usually make from this evidence. Which is...

Peko's biological parents are the Pekoyama clan

The typical interpretation goes something like this:

The Pekoyama clan is a band of renowned swordfighters. For whatever reason, they get in massive debt to the Kuzuryuu clan. The Kuzuryuu clan force them to repay these debts by taking their young heir, and training her to be a bodyguard for their own heir when he is born. We know the rest of the story.

The evidence for this is as follows (though keep in mind, I did not consider your interpretation when I was formulating this, so the evidence seemed more self-evident originally):

Pekoyama's name in the Japanese is spelt 辺古山 ペコ. Her family name, (辺古山) is spelt normally, in kanji. However, her first name is spelt in katakana, which as far as I can tell is the only of the three Japanese scripts not used to write Japanese names. Also it's literally just the first two phonetic sounds of her surname. Which gives the impression that her surname is real, and her first name is something carelessly made up on the fly because you have to call her something.

The fact that she has a family heirloom. Why would the Kuzuryuu clan know the family of an orphaned baby? As far as I know, people in Japan don't usually attach their family name when they're orphaning a child.

...Yeah, it was primarily based on the premise that out of the two contradictory pieces of information we get about Pekoyama's parents, the one at the end of Chapter 2 (that she was abandoned by them from birth) is the correct one.

Of course... there are still issues with this interpretation. Primarily, that Island Mode dialogue where she says she has memories of her parents being alive. The heirloom is a bit iffy, too. (Perhaps it's something the Kuzuryuu clan also took along with Pekoyama?)

The only excuse I can come up for the parents thing is that it is Pekoyama deliberately lying to make her childhood sound more normal. Because the closer she gets to telling the truth, the more questions Hinata will have, and she doesn't want that. That's not the point she's trying to convey anyways, so she goes with a simple lie to smooth it over so she can talk about her memories

There are issues with your interpretation too, namely that the Kuzuryuu clan risks giving Pekoyama an alternative motive through giving her actual parents, i.e. humanising her and possibly making her consider if there's other ways she can live. As we both know, Pekoyama's Island Mode ending implies that she is only so dedicated to her tool mindset because it's the only way she knows how to live.

Whilst I probably will come around to yours more as I let it sink into my brain, I'm going to be honest, I am still quite attached to the 'Pekoyama was stolen from the Pekoyama clan' interpretation, because I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and because those hardcore Pekoyama fans have also written about it.

One of my absolute favourite implementations of it is at the end of thewildwilds' already incredible fic [absolute zero.] where it's mentioned that upon taking baby Pekoyama, her parents cursed the Kuzuryuu clan by swearing that their child would ultimately cause the destruction of the clan. That's SO DELICIOUS

As you know, I am very much a fic writer. So much so that my opinion on ships is often determined by easy/fun they are to write. And there is a lot of potential things to explore in this interpretation that I've barely ever seen anyone cover beyond 100 word drabbles.

For example... this means that Pekoyama is the only former RoD who could still have their parents alive. So... how would she cope with that? (I have some answers to that, but they're not precise, and this is getting long enough already.) NO ONE HAS EXPLORED HOW SHE'D INTERACT WITH HER BIO PARENTS AT ALL SOB. I may have to get over my natural reluctance to make OCs for this...

(This still could be explored under your interpretation, it's just that it's harder to pinpoint who her bio parents are, and those parents are less defined.)

In conclusion: what the hell even was this (MY POST NOT YOURS). There are several points I almost certainly forgot. Pekoytama.

Random tidbits about the Pekoyama Dojo

Peko was adopted by the Pekoyama Dojo

Peko reminiscence about her parents taking her to an old amusement park.

Because Peko was abandoned as a baby by her birth parents, it can be deduced all her memories regarding her parents is with her adoptive parents.

The only time she feels like smiling outside her Free Time Event, is when she is at an amusement park.

Because Peko was given the Pekoyama's family heirloom, and the obvious fact she bares the family name, you can infer that Peko's adoptive parents was from the Pekoyama Dojo on the Kuzuryus behalf.

Peko states that her dojo is not exactly a Kendo dojo. The fact that their family heirloom bears the symbol of the Kuzuryu clan mascot, the Pekoyamas were mostly likely a vassel family who served the Kuzuryus (I think the Japanese term is Kashin but don't quote me on that)

Peko's experiences at the Dojo

Just because it would be too much to screenshot, it's strongly implied that everything she did was a form of training. Peko can't take an activity at face value and see everything as a form of training. Examples include: Splitting watermelons, dropping coconuts, watching movies, going into haunted houses.

You could make the argument, because Peko was a 'tool', this was the justification to allow Peko to do normal activities.

Overall, Peko recalls only nice things about the dojo

As always, shout out to Peko's pet finch that probably hated her

Not canon in the slightest, but a moment from the manga

Mentions of Peko's childhood that may or may not be related to the dojo

[vsxfbd]

[ceesimz]

Angel

What happens when the team finds out about your relationship? (Autistic reader x Barça Femení)

As always, the other parts of Reverie can be found here. This one gets a bit deep.

One thing you had come to learn about your new team was that they never shied away from gossip. Like most people, they did have their limits, but if it was gossip within the team, especially about any possible relationships, well… they simply couldn't be stopped.

You indulged in it of course, you're only human after all, you just hadn't prepared yourself for the moment that the topic was your love life. And it seemed that the team didn’t really take into account how you would feel about it all. 

If there was one thing that would send you into some kind of meltdown, it was people talking about you without you knowing. That was something that had plagued you as a teenager, and as ridiculous as it may seem to others, it was something that still sent you spiralling endlessly. All you wanted was to be liked and to fit in, whenever those things seemed at risk, it had you scurrying back into your shell and headfirst into a deep pit of anxiety. 

It had been a matter of weeks since you and Alexia got together, and an even shorter amount of time since you had confessed your love to each other, but living in the content bubble of privacy was everything you needed and more. A part of you loved the thrill of sneaking around, like how you both drive separately to and from training only to end up at the other's apartment afterwards, and how you both hide away in the corners of any cafés you come across. 

But the thing is, it seemed the two of you weren't quite as discreet as you thought. 

The morning it all came falling down was the same as any other day; you woke up in your bed with Alexia asleep on the other side of you, facing away as the sun shone into the room and lit up the tattoos on her back like an art display. Not long after you looked over at her did a smile appear, and you couldn’t resist shuffling up behind her and wrapping yourself around her body to nestle into her. Your alarm hadn’t gone off yet and the sun wasn’t fully up, meaning there was more than enough time to enjoy each other’s company before the day that faced you began. Mornings were your favourite, and if Alexia thought she was a morning person before you, you had come along and totally trumped her in that. The world was yours in the early hours of the day, it was peaceful and serene without the interruptions of life as the birds sang and the dew covered the grass. 

Apparently that particular morning was the calm before the storm. 

Alexia drove the pair of you to training, arriving earlier than the rest of the squad and going your separate ways once in the building, Alexia with some media commitments and you with a physio session for a slight knock picked up in the game a few days prior. Nobody else had shown up yet and they wouldn’t for some time, so the possibility that someone might pick up on something was far from your minds.

Apart from the one car parked up outside and the weirdly frequent amount of time spent together and the obvious love in each other’s eyes, there were no signs at all. Zero.

Perhaps you weren’t the only oblivious one in the relationship.

“-there is something going on, Mapi.” Jana smirked as she walked into the building alongside the older defender whilst Ingrid followed behind.

“There is nothing! Don’t ask me.” Mapi put on that classic confused look on her face and paired it with a shrug, desperately holding back a grin that she knew Ingrid would scold her for.

“Everybody can see the way Ale looks at her, and how she looks at Ale. I made a bet with Keira, please.” Jana continued, glancing around to make sure the coast was clear, which it was, before turning to Mapi again with a pleading look on her face.

“Jana.” Ingrid warned lightly, more than aware of the conversations that have been had by most of the team but way too concerned with how you'd react to it all. She assumed her teammates would have more sense about doing this about you, but apparently not.

“Come on, Mapi. Just shake your head or something, someone like you can’t keep a secret. And it’ll come out eventually so why not just say it now.” Jana had her arms wrapped around Mapi’s arms, tugging every so often to persuade her. 

“María, don't. Jana, there is nothing going on. Let them be.” The Norwegian gave her final warning, quite frankly tired of the topic and annoyed with her teammates' behaviour. 

It wasn’t only how Jana was acting now, it was the fact the majority of the team had been speculating for some time already, and though she had witnessed their nosiness before, this time around she was far from happy about it. She wasn’t really one to have so much intrigue in her teammates’ lives, she believed if they wanted to talk about it then they would, so there was no use in indulging in meaningless gossip that really had no benefits for anyone apart from satisfying the curiosity of people that had no business being interested anyway. That, added onto the fact she knew you would probably have some kind of meltdown if you overheard anything, meant she was sick to death of others’ careless actions.

However, by defending you, she had only made it worse.

“Oh, so there is something going on? That’s why Mapi isn’t talking?” Jana’s face lit up and Ingrid was instantly filled with dread from head to toe. Before she could stop the younger girl, she was already darting off to her other friends to share the new information. And that’s where the situation reached its peak.

You were more than fine, living blissfully unaware throughout the morning. Alexia was at your side, training was fun and light that day, and you had woken up feeling especially good that morning. Not much could stop you. The exclusion to that was of course the whole team gossipping about not only you, but Alexia too.

“You’re such a liar! I didn’t cheat, you’re the one that dropped your cards everywhere. My eyes were already looking in that direction, it just so happened to be that that’s where your cards landed.” You argued back at Alexia, stuck in a heated debate about how you had apparently cheated at a game of cards with her family the previous night. The blonde tutted in disagreement and gave you a light shove, suppressing a smile at the laugh you responded with.

“Already at the family game nights, huh?” Patri came up alongside you and smirked as her eyebrows raised, before she was quickly tugged away by Claudia, leaving you confused.

“What did she mean by that?” You turned to Alexia to see if she had any better understanding, only to find what looked like a resigned and slightly panicked expression on her face. “Ale?”

“Nothing, cariño, she is just teasing. Forget about it.” Her arm wrapped around your shoulder briefly as she gave you a quick reassuring hug, but she pulled away too soon to make you feel at ease. 

What she wasn’t clueing you in on was the seed of worry that Patri had just planted. Like Ingrid, Alexia also knew how you would react to the team finding out about the relationship before you were ready. To make matters worse, she had no idea what she could do to prevent the secret being revealed because it seemed like the damage had already been done. Sure, she was the captain, but that title means nothing when it comes to her personal life which had already been invaded by the people she thought knew better. There was nothing left to do but watch it all come falling down before her.

Despite the odd teasing remark from Patri, you were still in a fairly great mood. The same couldn’t be said for Ingrid and Alexia who sat at your table for lunch. It wasn’t often that you stayed for lunch, and you couldn’t have chosen a more unfortunate day to stay. Your two favourite people had pensive looks on their faces that stuck for the majority of lunch, putting you a little on edge throughout. 

Ultimately, though, secrets had to come to light at some point. You never planned for it to happen in the way it did. 

“Does the happy couple want to join us for dinner later?” Marta, of all people, asked with a grin as her hands landed on yours and Alexia’s shoulders as she came to stand behind you both.

“Marta!” Ingrid scolded immediately, but it was too late. 

“What? Everybody knows that Ale is wrapped around her finger. Didn’t take long, no?” She smirked down at you, taking no notice of the fact you had completely frozen.

Both Ingrid and Alexia rattled off arguments, trying their best to do damage control, though to no avail. The warning signs of an internalised meltdown were already taking over and shutting down your nervous system – the type of meltdown you knew was coming was sometimes the most exhausting type. Masking on its own took all of your energy, but masking an entire meltdown was a whole different thing. 

You weren’t safe here. There were eyes all around, people you weren’t too familiar with, and nothing in this room, in fact in the whole building, could help you regulate yourself. In only a matter of minutes, everything around you turned into a trigger.

Marta’s hand still sat on your shoulder. Your skin crawled with the sensation of at least thirty pairs of eyes on you. With each second that passed by, the noise of the cafeteria grew louder in your ears even though in reality it only quietened when people realised what was happening. 

Your hands trembled intensely under the table, you were sure Marta would be able to feel your entire body shaking, and your breathing quickened until hardly any oxygen was getting to your lungs. It was at that point where the intrusive thoughts kicked in. 

The cherry on top of the cake in this scenario too is that it wasn’t just about you, it was about Alexia too. So not only were you drowning in anxiety and fear and shame, you couldn’t cope with the guilt that came at the fact you had dragged Alexia into all this. 

Was now the time Alexia realised she could be with someone much better than you, now that the relationship was no longer secret? Now that you and all that was wrong with you wasn’t hidden behind apartment walls and cafe doors, would she be too embarrassed by you to stay? What would your teammates think? You hadn’t even been here for a full season yet, and you had already claimed their captain for yourself. 

Those were the kinds of things swirling around your mind as the world carried on around you, but they were merely a drop in the ocean and definitely not the worst of them. Some were unimaginable, to the point where if any allistic person were to ask what went through your mind during a meltdown, they would be horrified by the things they would hear. You wouldn’t wish a meltdown of any kind upon your worst enemy.

It was too much to handle. Too many eyes, too many opinions in one room, too many ways to be perceived. The only realistic option was leaving. 

The sound of your chair scraping against the floor as you abruptly stood up cut through the tension in the room, bringing everyone to a sudden silence as they watched you leave the room as quickly as possible without it being classed as running away. You had no idea where to go, but your legs were taking you anyway, and at that moment it felt like you were watching yourself in third person. You were in your body, but you weren’t present. Your mind was still back in that cafeteria, thinking and thinking over and over again, stuck in the fear of the fact you had just ruined the life you had built for yourself whilst you fully succumbed to the meltdown clawing its way into your body.

All you wanted to do was go home, to have the measly comfort of falling apart in the four walls of your flat, where you had the safety net of the fact that nobody was around to walk in on you. Instead, you had to settle for a place that still didn’t feel safe and never would. 

Somewhere in your subconscious you made the decision to find a spot away from everyone, ending up in a small, empty and unclaimed office. As always, your feet took you straight to the corner of the room furthest from the door, slumping down against the wall and sliding until you were sat on the floor. Your legs came up so that your knees were pressed tightly against your chest, further emphasised by the pressure your arms gave when they wrapped around your legs. It helped, the pressure your own embrace provided, but it was nowhere near enough to calm you down to a point where you could put a stop to everything happening inside of you.

There, in the safest environment you could find, you accepted the impending implosion, and let it wholly consume you. It wasn’t a meltdown filled with anger and frustration, the type that led to a whirlwind of destruction, but one that had your eyes flooding and overflowing with tears that would inevitably lead to a nasty migraine afterwards. But in that moment, there was no after. A meltdown came with the sense that the world was ending, that there wasn’t a life you could lead after it that wasn’t ruled by the intrusive thoughts which ruthlessly ran rampant through your mind becoming a reality. That really would be world-ending. 

For some time, you weren’t convinced you were breathing. Your lungs felt so constricted by the heaviness that weighed upon your chest that you weren’t sure you could stay conscious. There was ringing in your ears that deafened you almost, adding to how completely unaware you were of your surroundings. Nausea churned in your stomach, though you weren’t in the state of mind to be able to recognise if that was a result of the anxiety overwhelming you or the constant rocking back and forth you were doing. 

In fact, you were so oblivious, you didn’t notice the door swing open, nor did you hear the figure at the door shout down the hallway outside the room to announce you had been found. It was only when gentle hands lifted your head where it rested against your knees that you realised someone was in front of you. And who else would it be than Ingrid.

“Hey, snuppa.” The defender smiled sadly, hating how your face was completely void of emotion apart from the redness to your eyes and the tears still falling continuously down your cheeks.

It was in moments like this where Ingrid realised, no matter how much she tried, she will never fully understand the extent of the struggles you have. As she looked at you,  she saw that your face was empty, anyone who didn’t know would think you were just spaced out or something, but Ingrid knew there was a deadly storm kicking off in your mind. A storm whose weapons of choice were the tears streaming from your hauntingly blank eyes, and the sharp flashes of vicious words followed by the darkest clouds of shame and inadequacy. Nobody else would understand the pain of it, and it killed the defender that she couldn’t do a thing about that.

“I’m so sorry that happened in there. They shouldn’t have acted like that, not without coming to you first. They just… weren’t thinking.” 

Why didn’t they think about me?

“I should have made a better effort in getting them to stop talking about it.”

You knew? Why didn’t you make a better effort?

“They didn’t mean anything bad by it, it’s just them being clowns, you know what they’re like.”

What if they did mean something bad by it?

“Alexia is worried about you.”

I just want to go home.

“Home.” You whispered, shrinking back into yourself and away from the hands that were still on your cheeks. You hastily brushed away the remaining tears with shaking thumbs, though they were instantly replaced by new ones that didn’t hesitate to fall.

“I can take you home, that’s okay.” 

The person that helped you stand then, it wasn’t Ingrid. It was just a body, a face you didn’t recognise in your mid-meltdown daze. There was no longer a functioning world outside the confines of your beaten mind, your senses were completely overwhelmed to the point they no longer worked. An arm was wrapped around your waist as you were led to the car park, but all you could focus on was each step you took. Moving was difficult, so you poured all your remaining energy into making sure your legs could carry you to the car at least. 

Whether people watched you on the way to Ingrid’s car or not, you were passed the point of caring. The merciless thoughts weren’t tiring anytime soon but they had exhausted you, beating you down until you were completely mindless. They had prepared you for your team to hate you, so that was old news by the time you were being guided down the halls and no doubt past their curious stares. 

All of your belongings were left back in the changing rooms, including your phone and your change of clothes and everything else. Thankfully Ingrid was wise enough to know you didn’t care about any of those things now, all you wanted to do was go home, fall into bed, and never leave again.

That’s exactly what you did. The time walked by before you as you watched the minutes tick by on the digital clock on your bedside table. At some point, Ingrid had peaked her head in to check on you and Mapi had come along to drop off your things whilst an anxious Alexia waited in her car in case you wanted her.

You didn’t.

You couldn’t face her right now, probably not for the rest of the day either. It was easier to be the rejecter rather than the rejected. Too often were you the one going through all the pain that came with rejection, and experiencing it at the hands of Alexia might just end it all for you.

Figuring out where to go from here was something that would have to wait a while. Hours, days, weeks, you weren’t sure. It had been a tough day, the toughest in a while. Your last meltdown had been a destructive one – a performance that you deemed bad in a match you put way too much pressure on yourself for was enough reason to get so wildly angry, you had no choice but to act out. That was in the privacy of your own home though, not in a public setting, at work no less. The repercussions of it all were something you didn’t want to face.

So you stayed in bed. For hours, you didn’t move a muscle. The duvet covered you up to your shoulders and the scent of Alexia lingered on the fabric of the sheets, the most comforting mix of her perfume and the conditioner she used when showering the night before. And by the time the sun set, it felt like your bones had sunk into the mattress, as if you’d found yourself in quicksand or had fallen into concrete. There was no way you could make it out if you tried. 

Nothing, apart from being thousands of miles away from the situation you found yourself in, could entice you to move. 

—

“Have you heard from her yet?” Alexia asked desperately for perhaps the third time in ten minutes. 

“No, Ale.” Mapi sighed from the kitchen area. 

Ingrid and Mapi had decided to let Alexia stay with them, knowing that the older girl was probably going crazy as a result of her anxiety. The Norwegian was somewhat familiar with how these things go for you, your alone time to try and regulate was an important step of getting back to being your normal self. However, she also knew that being alone could sometimes make it worse. She was stuck in between those two possibilities, wondering when the right time to step in was. It just didn’t help when Alexia was pacing around the apartment or tapping her foot against the floor as she sat on the couch.

Mapi was making dinner for the three of them, whilst also ensuring there was an extra portion for you if you wanted to eat at any point that evening. They were all worried to some degree, but Alexia’s concern had reached new heights. Last time this happened to you, you were alone for the whole night with no one to comfort you, and that thought made her sick. All she wanted to do was see you at least, then from there she could figure out what to do to help. Yet, she was still inexperienced, so the only thing she trusted herself to do was to listen to Ingrid, the one who had been around for almost eleven years longer than she had. Her patience was wearing thin, however.

“I just want to see her, I-”

“Alexia, listen to me.” Ingrid dropped the laundry she was folding and headed over to where Alexia was. She sat down on the coffee table in front of her captain and sighed just like her girlfriend had done a moment ago. “In her mind, you’re probably the last person she wants to see right now.”

“But why! I don’t g-”

“Listen.” Ingrid said sternly, silencing the blonde. “I know you are worried, scared, whatever. We all are. But we have to put our emotions aside and wait for her. Meltdowns aren’t something that happen to you, they happen to her, so think about that for a second. She needs the time alone to regulate herself again, to allow her body to rest. It might not have looked extreme, but trust me when I say it was. Her own mind was attacking her but because she was in public, she forced it down and hid it. It’s so intense, when that happens, it’s not just a mental thing but a physical thing too. You have to remember that what she experiences is so different to anything we will ever know, so everything from this point on has to be on her terms. Okay?”

No matter what anyone said to her in that moment, Alexia knew she wouldn’t feel at all at ease until she saw you. But Ingrid’s words did help, even if it was only the tiniest bit. It settled her because most of all she trusted you. 

Once in the past, you had told her that your meltdowns were something that made you feel so out of control that you’d do anything to regain it back, to have some sense of the world again. Even if that meant extreme measures. That was the young, scared version of you though, you had told her. As an adult now, you were a lot… safer in your recovery methods. And she trusted you, she did, she just couldn’t help but feel sickeningly worried. Nobody could really blame her, it wasn’t a comforting thought to know she was in the same building as you, and yet there wasn’t a thing she could do other than wait it out.

“I… I love her though.” She knew her arguments were futile, but it felt better than sitting there and doing nothing.

“You love her?” Mapi asked in disbelief, followed by a tut from Ingrid.

“I love her. She knows that, right?” The blonde turned to the woman in front of her with a desperate look on her eyes.

“She does. She does, Alexia, and I know for a fact that she does.” Ingrid placed a hand on Alexia’s bouncing knee and squeezed it reassuringly; she understood how her captain was feeling, she’d been in her place plenty of times before. 

“I just want to take it all from her so she can feel better, so she knows I love her and I don’t blame her for today.” Alexia mumbled, fidgeting with the drawstring of her training shorts that she still hadn't changed out of. 

“I know. It's hard, but these are the times where she needs us by her side the most.” Ingrid stated quietly, hoping Alexia understood the gravity of her words.

“Forever, Ingrid, I will be by her side forever. I swear it.” Her eyes had gone wide and her shoulders had lifted up into a shrug to emphasise her promise. Ingrid didn't doubt her for a second.

As much as she tried to resist, as the evening dragged on, Ingrid’s patience started to wear away. Her concern was beginning to override her adamance to give you the space she thought you needed. She could tell, as she glanced around the quiet room save for the scraping of cutlery against ceramic, that Alexia and Mapi felt the same way. 

Alexia hardly moved from her spot in the corner of the sofa, staring out of the window as her leg bounced anxiously. Mapi didn’t know what to do with herself, because even though she wouldn’t really play a major part in helping you come down from the state you were in, bar a few terrible jokes here and there, her world fell off-kilt knowing you were enduring such an awful time. You weren’t as close with her as you were with Alexia and Ingrid, obviously, but she still saw you as such an important figure in her life that nothing was the same without you. She loved your near constant joy, you were quite possibly the happiest person she’d met, and that was a big statement coming from someone like her. Your glee was infectious, and she was certain that everybody felt the same kind of unease when you weren’t yourself.

The silence throughout the apartment that settled after dinner was so discomforting that waiting simply wasn’t cutting it anymore. Almost as soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, they all hit their limit. It had been hours since anyone had seen or heard from you and waiting simply wasn’t cutting it anymore. No one was brave enough to say it though. If they all marched up to your apartment, god only knows what reaction you would have. Nobody wanted to be the person that broke your trust. 

It was Alexia that decided to take that risk. 

“What if I went and checked on her?” She broke the silence and glanced around nervously at the other two, who then looked at each apprehensively. “If she kicks me out, I will leave. But I cannot sit here and do nothing any longer. It’s killing me.”

A few thoughtful moments passed by, before Ingrid groaned quietly and buried her face into her hands. At that, Mapi pursed her lips and answered for her.

“I think there is nothing else we can do but try.” The shorter defender answered diplomatically, nodding as she spoke. “The spare key is on Ingrid’s keys.”

“Ingrid?” Alexia asked. It was important to her that she had Ingrid’s trust as the Norwegian had dealt with this countless times over the past decade.

“Yes. Go. Please be patient with her.” She pleaded in a fearful voice. At that, the Barcelona captain jumped up from her seat and went to leave instantly. 

In the weirdest way, it was hard for Ingrid to hand over this responsibility. Other than Mapi, you were the most important person in her life. She had been the person you go to for nearly eleven years – she had seen you at your worst and recently she’d seen you at your best. But with the introduction of Alexia into your life, as overjoyed as she was for you, it came with a strange sense of loss. Rationally she knew you were going nowhere of course, and yet she mostly felt… sad. It felt a little pathetic to her, that she thought of it like that, she just couldn’t help it. Mapi sensed her girlfriend’s feelings and moved to sit by her side immediately to comfort her, meanwhile Alexia couldn’t get out of the door quick enough.

Instead of taking the elevator, Alexia ran straight to the stairs and made her way up to your floor in mere seconds. The keys rattled in her hands as she headed to your apartment, and her hands shook as she tried to find the right key to unlock your door. When she missed the keyhole a couple times, she took a deep breath to calm herself and rolled her shoulders a couple times. In that split second, she knew, had you been there, you would have laughed at the slightly dramatic scene. As odd as that may seem, that little thought calmed her anxiety the tiniest bit, and with a final breath out, she unlocked the door.

Unsurprisingly, the lights were off in the apartment and the curtains were drawn, your way of blocking the world out. There wasn’t a sound, and her footsteps bounced off the walls as she walked through the flat until she reached your bedroom door. She knocked on quietly, trying not to disturb the apparent peace.

“It is just me, Alexia. May I come in, engel?” 

Exactly as she expected, she got no response. That was better than getting kicked out, she supposed.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

She opened the door and walked in on a scene that wasn’t so unfamiliar anymore, and she figured she best get used to it anyway if she planned on sticking around. You were on your side, facing away from the door, like you were when Ingrid had been the one to check on you the last time this happened. Even as she padded over to where you lay, she got no reaction. It wasn’t until she cautiously sat on the carpet, her back against the bedside drawers with her head turned towards you, that she confirmed you weren’t asleep. 

Once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she could see you were awake and staring absentmindedly straight ahead, through her even. Last time, she didn’t see this part of you. She only saw the by-product of Ingrid’s support and love. This was something that sent chills through her, not out of fear or intimidation or whatever, but because of the overload of emotions she felt at the sight. Never in her life had she felt such pain for someone else.

“Hi, amor.” She whispered. Truthfully, she had no idea what to do, or where to start. Rather foolishly, she had underestimated the whole thing. “Um… I didn’t want to leave you on your own any longer. I wanted to come check on you.” 

Normally, with everything Alexia did in her life, she had the confidence in knowing what she was doing and exactly how she was going to do it. This situation was something entirely different. But, if she was going to learn to do better for you when things like this happened, there was nothing she would rather do in this scenario than try. 

“Ingrid told me once that sometimes just sitting with you helps with the thoughts you have, so… I will wait here as long as you want me to. I love you.” 

She didn’t want to overwhelm you, but at the same time she couldn’t bear taking her eyes off of you. Just being by your side had eased some of her anxiety. She hoped it did the same for you.

“Today was a bad day, but that’s okay. Bad days are okay. You can come back from them. I remember you telling me that when this happens, it feels like the world is ending. I know I can’t stop your meltdowns but I will always be here to remind you that I love you more than anyone else I have ever met. And that people in your life adore you so much that nothing could change that. You are just you, all the time, and that might be my favourite thing in the world.”

The midfielder found herself rambling, which wasn’t something she did very often at all, but the words flowed continuously. Whether you could hear her or were taking anything she said on board, she didn’t mind. 

Fortunately, you could hear her, and you were taking everything she said and holding onto it for dear life. With each word she spoke, you felt yourself coming back more and more. Those voices had been shut out by Alexia’s tentative rambling. The tears that you knew would drop any second were the first sign of you becoming somewhat lucid again. 

“I am not angry or upset with you. Today wasn’t your fault. Not the outing, not the teasing, not the meltdown. You were just a passenger in it all, yet you got the worst of it. You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

“No.” Your voice was hoarse and hardly there when you spoke, and even though it was a short single syllable you uttered, it still cracked with emotion.

Alexia almost flinched at that, having not expected it at all.

“Hm?” She hummed, shuffling a little closer to the bed if that was at all possible.

“No sorrys.” You murmured. Alexia frowned, and she itched to reach out and stroke through your hair or cup your cheek or do anything to comfort you.

“Okay.” She nodded, unsure of what else to do. To scratch that itch from a moment ago, she brought her legs up and crossed her arms over her knees, a few fingertips of one hand outstretched to rest on the edge of the bed. “I… I don’t want you to feel guilty. I think, in the end, maybe it was only a matter of time before everyone found out about us. They shouldn’t have acted so nonchalantly about it, but I also don’t think we hid it too well.”

“You don’t have to be here.” You completely ignored what she had said, too focused on your shame instead. Shame that stemmed from the events back at the cafeteria, at not only having a meltdown which brought those feelings on anyway, but having one in front of your whole club. This one felt so much more complex than any others you’d had in a while.

Alexia’s resolve broke then – one of her hands cautiously reached under the duvet to find the hand of yours that wasn’t resting underneath your head. She found it, balled up tightly against your chest, and with both of her hands now, she unclenched it and covered it, gently bringing it to her mouth so she could press repetitive, soft kisses against your skin.

“I don't have to but I want to. I need to, for myself, because you are my girlfriend and I need to make sure you are okay. I love you no matter how you feel, and even if me being here doesn't make you feel much better, I'm just glad I’m here.”

Something about that struck a nerve. Before you knew it, those brewing tears made themselves known as they fell steadily. Alexia dropped your hand, which caused a brief moment of panic for you, until she rose to her knees and her hands landed delicately on your face instead. Her lips brushed against every tear that fell, kissing each one before leaning her forehead against yours.

“I love you. I don’t want you to ever doubt that.” She whispered, because some part of her knew that it was her portrayal of her adoration that had finally cracked you. 

It was exactly that. No matter how many times it was said, there was just some embedded insecurity within you that couldn’t accept it when you didn’t love yourself like this. Perhaps it would stay with you for life, but that didn’t seem so horrifying if Alexia reacted like this everytime the worst part of yourself was so clearly on show.

“You do make me feel better.” You manage to choke out in the midst of your sobs. 

Alexia couldn’t bear the feeling of not having you in her arms whilst you were crying so heavily, so she moved away only for a second before you felt the bed dip behind you. Then, she was gently urging you to roll over, which you did immediately. Her arms engulfed you entirely, and the pressure from her hug was so much more comforting than that of yours earlier in that heartless office. 

She let you get it all out, even if it did take a while, but even when your sobs had subsided, she didn’t move a muscle. For that, you were grateful. Being wrapped up and held tightly by her, your face buried in her chest, was so much better than laying on your own with nothing but the intrusions in your mind.

And when your thoughts cleared, you gained an ounce of clarity again. Neither of you spoke, but there had been enough emotions in the day that there wasn’t any need for them. There was just one thing that you had realised, the brightest silver lining: Alexia loved you. Truly and wholeheartedly, even if you didn’t understand it. Sure, she had said it in the past and shown it in various ways, though none of those occasions could ever live up to this one.

This one was her accepting the worst part of yourself. This was her sticking by you when you knew it was the hardest time to stay. This was it.

Having your relationship exposed might have seemed like the end of the world at the time, and though that thought hadn’t completely left yet, it had given way for two much better realistions. Firstly, Alexia loved you. And secondly, apparently you can’t mask love.

“It really was quite obvious, wasn’t it?” You would grimace the next morning when the pair of you ate breakfast in bed together. Your girlfriend, the woman that loved you, turned to you with an equally pinched face and you stared at each other for a few moments, until you broke out into laughter about it all.

That was the thing with Alexia – she made it all brighter and so, so much easier.

—

because what else do autistic people struggle with than the opinions of others 🫠 writing about a meltdown is hardddd so this took a lot for me to write, it's more than just writing anxiety when it comes to posting this one. it's depicting the part of myself i hate most. it's an unexplainable, awful awful experience but anyway i hope my words did it justice, i'm not sure about it but i hope you liked the story regardless 🫶🏼🧡

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Down Home 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: The world's most famous heroes walk into a small town diner and change your life.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers

Note: Because of this.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all to Jupiter and back. Take care. 💖

It’s a slow day. Every day is slow out in Tumble Down. The township’s name tells the whole story. Everything there is in decline. It’s hard to imagine there was ever a time when the people weren’t tiny and forgotten in the hubbub of the bigger world. Since the mines closed and the canning factory was outsourced, it feels even smaller. 

Smaller isn’t so bad. It’s simpler. You all know each other’s names and faces. You say hi and how are you and do what needs to be done. Simple is, simple as. 

You here there isn’t much to do in most small towns. Not for fun or for work. You’re one of the lucky ones. You got a job down at the diner in your sophomore year. It helped pay for your daddy’s new engine and since then, it keeps you all afloat in the rising waters of disparity as they close in on Tumble Down. 

You hum to the old radio that sits on the shelf you make sure to dust. The speakers crackle from time to time and the signal gets wonky in storm season, but the music’s never bad. It’s the classic stuff that always played in your mother’s kitchen. 

You wipe down another table. Not because it needs it, just because it’s something to do. The day has been long and listless. Even the breakfast rush was lower than usual. 

Darnell, the cook, whistles along from the back. Everyone knows he isn’t as mean as he looks. He just likes his space. 

As you go back to the counter and lean on it, staring at the ticking clock, a roar cuts through the distance. You blink and look up, narrowing your eyes at the dusty country road outside. Wind rustles through the tall wheat in the field opposite and the noise rumbles closer and closer. 

A man pulls in a motorbike. He’s going so fast that he has to circle the gravel lot before he can slow down. It’s not Lenny and his prized Harley but another man on a more modern-looking mount. Not far behind, another motorcycle zips through and the riders straddle their bikes as the survey the restaurant. 

You narrow your eyes. You probably need glasses but you make do. The last time you got your eyes checked, you didn’t have enough for the frames. 

The one man wears blue and red, an odd helmet on his head. Not a helmet at all but a sort of mask. The other man has dark hair to his chin and a beard to match. He’s all in black but his left arm shines with gold ripples. Not a sleeve, an arm, made of metal. 

“Oh my lord,” you murmur in shock, “Darnell!” You holler over your shoulder, “you’re not gonna believe this.” You turn to the window as he pokes his head around, “not sure I do myself. Tell me my eyes aren’t lyin’.” 

He looks above your head, an easy task for the mammoth cook. He hums and swirls around his spatula. “Thems those boys on the news. The one that was in the old war. Grandad’s battle.” 

“I’m not going crazy with boredom?” You bubble. 

He snorts. It’s as close to a laugh as you get from him. You spin back and hurry around the counter to grab a pair of menus. Still, you don’t want to seem too eager. You put down the menus and fiddle with a napkin holder instead. 

The bell over the door jingles and swipe up the menus and turn. You really can’t believe it’s them. Yet, as Captain America removes his cowl, you’re certain. They look just like they do on the TV. Even with your sight, you can tell. 

“Hello, fellas, how are you doin’ today?” 

The dark-haired one, the Winter Soldier, glances at the other, his cheek dimpling, “well... we’re... uh...” 

“We’re doing great,” Steve Rogers answers brightly. “Starving. You guys serve bacon? My buddy’s dying for some.” 

“Um, yes, sirs, yes. Can I sit ya down?” You ask, hugging the menus closer. 

“Please,” the Captain accepts as the other man stays silent and pensive, his eyes wandering down to the coffee stain on your apron. 

“Just here,” you sweep away and wave them on with you. You stop beside the nicest booth and lay down a menu on each side, “have a seat.” 

They do just as you bid. The blond puts his cowl on the table and unhooks the shield from his back to lay on the far end of the seat. He smooths back the sweaty strands of hair as his companion stretches his metal fingers. You sway nervously by the table, twitching as you remind yourself how to do your job. 

“Well, can I get ya started with coffee? You look beat from the road.” You beam with the smile Mr. Welk says could outshine the sun. 

“Not just the road,” the dark-haired one mutters as he rolls his shoulder. The one that connects to his real arm. “I’ll take one, please.” 

“Can I get an orange juice, please,” the Captain asks. 

“Course ya can. I’ll be right back. You have a look at the specials and give it a think,” you bounce and spin around. 

You go to pour the orange juice and a cup of black coffee. Darnell lingers by the window. He only ever really appears to put a plate up but he watches the new arrivals. 

You bring their drinks and step back, clasping your hands behind you. 

“Did ya need cream or sugar for your coffee, sir?” You ask. 

“Black’s fine,” he assures. 

“No need for the sirs. Steve, Bucky,” Captain America insists, “we’re off duty.” 

“Right, sorry about that, ssss...Steve,” you correct yourself. “You need some more time?” 

“Think I’m decided,” Bucky intones, “what about you?” 

“Set,” Steve confirms, “I’ll have the sunny side up with toast and sausage. Can I get some fruit on the side as well, please?” 

He hands over the menu and you take it as you hold your smile. Your cheeks ache. Not because you have to force it but because you can’t stop. This is the most exciting thing to happen in Tumble Down ever. If Darnell wasn’t there, no one would believe you. 

“Overeasy, bacon, extra bacon too, and some french toast, and uh... home fries.” Bucky offers up the second menu, “please and thank you.” 

“Alrighty,” you preen, “I’ll put your order in.” 

“Got it,” Darnell growls over the empty diner. 

“He’s got good hearing,” you giggle nervously as you look between the men. “Ummmm, sorry, I’ll leave ya be.” 

“You’re not bothering,” Steve assures. “I can see you’re dying to ask.” 

He gives a gentle smile. 

“Nah, oh, gosh. I’m sure ya get it all the time. I don’t wanna be one of those,” you put your hands up. “Really, you all look like you could use the peace and quiet.” 

“Well, actually, I’ve been stuck with this meathead for days,” Bucky scoffs, “so please, I’d love to hear someone else’s voice.” 

You laugh again. They’re funnier than you expect. They always look so serious on the TV. 

“What... what are y’all doing here in Tumble Down? It’s a bit far from... anywhere.” You ask sheepishly. 

“Tumble Down? Is that what it’s called?” Steve scratches his neck above his stained collar. “Well, we couldn’t get a signal so we’ve just been riding through. Saw the sign down the way and figured we’d get a bite.” 

“He’s lying. He was falling asleep on his bike,” Bucky teases. 

“Sure,” Steve shakes his head. “Only ‘cause I’m tired of you.” 

You giggle again, “I thought y’all were friends.” 

“Friends, partners, cursed with each other, have your pick,” Bucky snorts. 

“He’s playing,” Steve says. “Look, we’re boring. Despite what you think. We’re a couple of old men bickering with each other. What about you? What about Tumble Down?” 

“Ah, nothing really, sir. Steve,” you squeeze the menus tight at the edges. “Nothing going on since the coal law and that. Everyone’s all but run out. All but us.” 

“Just you? Your family?” Steve wonders. 

“Jesus, Steve, nosy much?” Bucky says over the brim of his mug. 

“Sorry. He’s right. Like I said. Crotchety old man. I talk to the pigeons.” 

You laugh again, “oh my, you are a hoot!” You slap your thigh emphatically, “I’m still my ma and pa. It’s just the three of us. They need help with the animals and that.” 

“Animals?” Steve wonders, his posture shifting towards you. 

“Chickens, cows. They got a farm. Was my grandpa’s. And his ma kept it going after he didn’t come home from... well, you’d know more about that time than me, I think.” You give a forlorn look to the floor. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry about your grandfather. Great grandfather,” he corrects himself. 

“Lotta good men gone,” Bucky mulls grimly. 

“Yeah, my great granny said as much. I wouldn’t know though, but I heard the stories,” you dare to look at them again. “Sorry to bring up the bad memories.” 

“Nah,” Bucky waves you off casually. “I got this nifty arm outta it.” 

“And I got a shield so, you know, not all losses,” Steve chuckles. 

“I s’pose,” you agree. “I’m gonna check on that food for ya. You good with your coffee?” 

Bucky raises the mug, “delicious.” 

You nod and turn with a swish of your skirt. You go up to the window and look over the ledge. “How’s it going, Darnell?” 

“Going. I’m happy it ain’t Raylene here. She’s got a mouth on her, don’t she? Them sort don’t deserve that trouble,” he tisks. 

“They’re nice. And Raylene is too. She’s just... Raylene,” you say, “can I help with anything?” 

“I don’t wanna be rude but I’m tired of tellin’ ya to stay outta my kitchen. You know the grill likes to spit,” he shakes his head. “You go, I’ll let ya know when it’s ready.” 

“Alright,” you back away and turn back. 

Steve and Bucky lean over the table, their voices low as they chat. As you move around behind the counter, they both sit up and the former clears his throat. You smile as you take the cloth from your apron pocket and wipe the already clean counter. 

As the radio buzzes, you hum without thinking. Stevie Ray Vaughan’s smoky voice mingles with the emotion plucked through electric strings. Your dad’s a big fan. He has old tapes with concerts on them and even went to one himself. 

The bell rings and you nearly jump out of your shoes. You turn and scoop up the plates as you thank Darnell. He grumbles that he’s going out to have a smoke; his code for having a Tootsie Pop by the backdoor. 

You bring the meals over to the table and set them down before the men. Their gazes make you sweat. It’s all a little more intense with no one else there. 

“Thank you,” Steve says and Bucky echoes him. 

“Not at all. Anything else? Water? Ketchup?” 

“It all looks great as is,” Steve says, “you got a nice voice.” 

“Oh, really? Ha, I was just humming out of tune. Sorry if I was too loud.” 

“Not at all,” Bucky picks up his fork as he leans forward. He tilts his head. “You know this one?” 

“Sure do. It’s Fleetwood Mac,” you answer. “One my all times.” 

He grins and nods as he looks at Steve. Steve watches you with a smile of his own. 

“Do you sing?” He asks. 

“Me? Only in my shower or to the chickens. They usually hide in the henhouse then.” You tinkle with laughter. 

“Ah,” Steve nods. 

“But if... if ya really wanna suffer, I could try it,” you smile, “but uh, you know, Stevie Nicks, she’s one of a kind.” 

“I’ve had worse,” Steve says. 

You look between him and Bucky. You chew your lip and think. You follow the song as you try to recognise which verse it is. You squint and perk up as you catch your place. 

“You just let me know when you’ve had enough,” you say before you start. Not only can you tell your pa that you met the super soldiers, you can tell him you sang for them. It’ll be a nice bit of excitement for the dinner table. 

[daystarpoet]

★﹐safe and sound ．﹗﹑

percy jackson x gn!reader. they both come back from a quest where user almost dies whoops. situationship-ish, friends but there's something else. what do you do when you get back? go swim ofc this is percy jackson we're talking about.

being half-bloods meant having dangerous experiences almost daily. that was something both percy and you knew far too well.

being a child of the gods was a risk on its own, solely by existing, were you in danger. if it wasn't monsters, it was the totally very much safe activities at camp. either way, there was always something trying to end you; much more during quests.

the gods loved sending their children to deal with their problems instead of solving them themselves, henche why quests existed. they tended to short heroes' lifespan—percy and you were quite lucky you managed to return from this one with just some scratches (and newly additions of trauma but that was irrelevant)

percy knew that the possibility of not returning from a quest was very much there; yet that didn't make him any less frightened. he wasn’t scared of dying himself, but rather scared of losing someone dear to him—you in this case.

you had been friends since he arrived to camp, all those years ago. you had been one of the ones who had showed him the ropes of the demigod life. you watched as he gained more and more control of his abilities as a son of poseidon, always there for him; and for that, he was forever loyal to you.

during this quest, he had been dangerously close to losing you, a thought he could not bear.

his feet dangled over the water of the lake as you sat on the deck, the moonlight shining down on the pair of you. he glanced at you, his hand almost too close to yours, subconsciously inching closer.

it was all friendly, right? like the way you had kissed him good-luck when you were fifteen and inside that labyrinth. he looked at you, and you looked back at him, those deep sea-green eyes staring into your soul. It was peaceful, it hadn't been this quiet in around a week.

“this is nice…” he muttered. “i always forget how calming this is.” he sighed and looked back at you you both should be sleeping right now, but that was the last thing percy wanted to do after a quest. after all, the only thing quests brought once he was back inside the camp barriers were nightmares.

“it is,” you agreed with him, glancing at his face, only to catch him with his gaze still glued to you. “stop staring, you creep.” you teased him, lightly shoving him on the back of the head.

“i was so not staring at you.” percy defended himself, knowing full well you had caught him red-handed. “if you don't want me to stare, i have an idea of something else we can do.” his expression soon changing to one of pure mischief.

“oh? i feel like i should be more scared of whatever you're planing than what i'm scared of quests.” you rose an eyebrow, to which he just shrugged. a beat passed, and in that very instant did you realise what percy's smirk was all about.

“don't you-” and before you even finished your sentence, the boy pulled on your arm and into the water. “perseus jackson!” you called, wiping the water off your face.

“yes?” he answered innocently, as if he had never done anything wrong in his life. you should have expected it. percy was always like this. he was like that because he cared.

[auspicioustidings]

Kinktober Day 13

Moniker: Ghost, Mace Risk Level: Low-Medium. Both are permanent residents of the Kennel. Brief: Pussy gaping, DVP, fisting, degradation Safeword: Refer to first brief.

Ghost will not ignore a safeword and Mace will not defy Ghost. Fair warning they’re both big men, the stretch will be a lot but they’re both experienced so they’re not going to do permanent damage - Price

This is going to feel incredible, promise (don’t clench)- Soap

“Loosen up slut.”

Mace punctuated his order with the heavy thud of him using his cock to slap your thigh. He was a terrifying man, huge and impatient. You had been barked at to strip when you came in and you had done so even while your head spun at seeing two naked men.

Both were heavily scarred, but while the silvery scars on Ghost’s face and body were clearly from abuse, Mace had them in patterns of raised bumps as decoration. They extended on him to his heavy cock and you couldn’t imagine how painful it must have been to nick the skin there, to heal into scarring when the skin needed to stretch.

They were both terrifyingly big men right down to the heavy weight between their legs. Taking one of them would already cause you to gape, taking them both surely could not be possible.

Already you felt stretched to the limit with Mace’s four fingers inside of you. He kept spreading them out and you could barely breathe. While you were spread open on the bed with him kneeling up between your legs, Ghost was stood by the bedside watching quietly, his judging eyes on you as he lazily pumped his cock.

“Your mutt did a half decent job Ghostie, she creams up real quick” Mace said to Ghost, pulling his fingers out abruptly to show him which caused your poor cunt to spasm around the sudden emptiness he had just left behind.

“Why do y’think I pushed for him to have a go at her first? Never met a doll Johnny couldn’t turn into a whore given a couple of hours.”

You were just trying to gulp in breaths, knowing he wouldn’t give you a break for long. Mace was pushing so quickly, those four fingers had been worked up to far too fast so your body was always just on the edge of tearing. The stretch was always intense enough that all your brain could do was focus all of it’s attention on the invasion and try to withstand it.

When he pushed his fingers back in he pumped them fast, impatiently, up to the third knuckle. You squealed like a stuck pig when he started to twist his hand back and forth to get his thumb in and he laughed while Ghost bent over to get in your face.

“That’s a cute little noise, but I didn’t fucking ask. You squeal again without permission and I’ll gag you.”

You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip so hard it hurt and nodded at him in submission, all of your focus on him instead of Mace because you were sure if you actually saw his fist start to sink inside of you, your body would realise what was happening and you’d black out.

Ghost held your eyes, fully aware that it’s what you needed. You were so different from Johnny, but so alike in some ways. He needed this too. Anytime him and Mace played with him together his boy would need to stare at Ghost, need the reassurance that he had his full and undivided attention even as he was being obscenely opened up by Mace. A nice, wide open cunt was a pretty sight, but even sweeter was the eyes of the person trusting him and his to be the ones stretching it at their pleasure.

It was so tempting as the squelching sound of fist in pussy rang in the air to slip his cock past your pretty lips, stretch them out too and watch as you broke into someone that knew they only breathed at his say so and thanked him for it. But no, Price had been very insistent on this whole sticking to the brief thing so he’d follow orders. For now at least, Johnny seemed to be very fond of you and anything his pup wanted, he got. If it came down to it, Ghost would ignore any protests or safewords to serve you to Johnny on a platter.

“You can scream for this next part” he said like he was indulging you.

You furrowed your brows, looking up at him in innocent distress. Oh you would look so lovely ruined he thought.

It took a moment for you to process what was happening. Something hot and pointed was pushing in alongside Mace’s fist. Oh God. Oh God. He was pushing his cock inside you without taking his fist out.

You screamed alright. You screamed and tried to shove back and away, tried to sit up and batter your fists against Mace to get him to stop. He laughed at your attempts because he was no stranger to a feisty bitch, that’s why he had Ghost here to roughly pin you down with a hand to your chest and land the other sharp on your pussy in warning.

“There’s a good cocksleeve, won’t ever tighten up when we’re done with you sweet thing. Won’t be able to feel nothing at all unless you’re stuffed full of fists in that loose cunt.”

He started to thrust his cock up inside you, his fist punching at the same time. He was going to shake your fucking organs loose. He was going to rip your apart. There was nothing but the stretch, nothing but being stuffed so overfull that you were ready to burst open.

“T-too much! Please” you tried to yell, only managing breathless, gasping words.

“Hm, seems to think you’re not doing it right Mace.”

“Yeah? Any suggestions?”

“Got one” Ghost replied, obviously in on a joke you weren’t.

Mace kept his cock deep inside you, wrapped his fist around it and pumped once and then ripped his soaked fist out. His big arms wrapped tight around you and rolled you over, him now driving up into you from underneath. It was dizzying how fast the angle had changed and there wasn’t a moment to adjust, you just had to claw at his shoulders and try survive.

“Slow down” you panted as he hammered into you.

You had thought now his fist was gone it wouldn’t be so insane a feeling, wouldn’t be completely scrambling your brain, but your cunt still felt too tight for the throbbing, scarred, monster of a cock inside of it. It was hardly the break you thought it would be, but he stilled within you and you could have wept with the relief.

Stupid to think it was for your benefit.

“Say ah” Ghost said and you realised too late that you had taken your eyes off of him while you were being manhandled into a new position and he was now kneeling on the bed behind you.

There was no going slow, no easing into it. He pushed his cock in above Mace’s all the way to his balls in one motion.

“Too full, fuck, too full, oh my God, please, please I can’t” you babbled incoherently, driven entirely insane.

“Quit your bitchin’, sluts don’t get to say I can’t. Open up nice and wide and fucking take us” Mace said, mocking.

“Jesus she’s strangling me.”

“Play with her clit, she’ll loosen up.”

Ghost reached around, was rough in how he almost lifted you up a little so he could wriggle his hand past your stomach and between your legs to pinch hard at your clit. You yelped and he pinched harder.

“What did I say about needing permission for your bitchin’?”

“S-sorry! I’m sorry, please just…”

“Just what?”

“I don’t- I need- please I need to cum, everything is too tight” you begged.

You needed to cum. You needed to have your muscles clench and then just relax. You were so fucking full and something had to give. Either you came or you were sure you would just unravel, burst apart into viscera on the bed between them.

“Aww she begs almost as pretty as your mutt Ghostie” Mace cooed.

You wanted to comment, but the air was knocked from your lungs when Ghost thrust hard as Mace did, no longer keeping a rhythm where only one was balls deep at a time but instead now keeping pace with one another. You were writhing between them, or at least trying to but unable to really go anywhere sandwiched two massive bodies as hard and heavy cocks slammed into you again and again.

Ghost’s clever fingers were lethal on your clit, knowing when to rub gentle as a whisper and pinch rough as a scream. Your body fought against the rising tide, knowing the consequence of giving in was you tightening around them. If you tightened anymore your cunt would snap like an elastic band you thought, but it felt impossible that you could keep going if it didn't.

“Let her squeal” Mace said with a growled laugh.

“You’re going soft Mace, but fine. You can bark bitch, let everyone in the Kennel know who your owners are.”

It was not a loud scream, you couldn’t breathe enough for that. Instead you sounded like a dying creature when you came and your cunt bore down on their cocks. It was a keening death knell as your body finally gave in and went slack between them, went loose and plaint so they could have their way with it.

“Want to feel you pulse big man, cum on my cock” Mace said, like you weren’t the one being fucked here.

“Brat” Ghost replied, but never the less he repositioned himself so he could hit the exact right angle he wanted as he chased his orgasm.

You felt him cum, felt his cock twitch against Mace’s inside you as he made a fucking mess of you. It was disgusting when he pulled out, his cock dragging cum with it while the rest was thoroughly coating Mace’s still inside your cunt.

“Oh that’s a pretty sight” Ghost said, hooking two fingers in your cunt and tugging up.

You felt the stretch, felt the hollow space he made above Mace’s cock. Oh God you were gaping open around it when he tugged like that to keep you from tightening back up.

“She’ll not stay loose forever.”

“Hold her open would you?”

You weren’t sure what exactly Mace meant by that, you felt pretty fucking open already and every scrape of those scars on your walls was making you think you might never be the same after this.

More manhandling without any warning. Ghost picked you up unceremoniously off of Mace’s cock and it was so much worse than when Mace had taken his fist out. Your poor cunt was fluttering violently, not sure what shape it was supposed to be anymore without anything inside of it.

You were settled on your ass between Ghost’s legs, you back to his and Mace grabbed your ankles to get them spread. Ghost hooked two fingers from each hand into your hole, pulling and pulling as he added more fingers. You were sure Mace must be able to see inside of you.

He started stroking himself and you made a noise of protest when you realised he was aiming for the gaping hole presented to him. It was so humiliating and yet as he groaned and spurt after spurt splattered against your insides you couldn’t help a whine escaping that wasn’t entirely negative.

“Make her cum again, want to see her insides twitch.”

“Careful, you don’t order me around Mace.”

“Make her cum, please sir?”

Ghost snorted at Mace’s saccharine tone but rearranged his hands anyway so he could brush against your clit with his thumb. That was all it took. Your cunt desperately tried to clench shut but he was solid, pulling when you were clenching to keep you wide open for Mace’s viewing pleasure.

“You’re a mess. Fucking slut, all that cum just sloshing around in there. I can see it dripping” he groaned.

There was a sudden glint in his eye that scared the shit out of you, but you were so exhausted that you didn’t try to move. Your eyes started to drift shut as Ghost pressed a kiss to your cheek. You had done it, it was unreal but you had taken both of them. And yeah maybe Johnny was right, it was sort of incredible.

Fuck you just felt tired and aching. Thank God for Price, making sure you were cleaned, dried, cuddled and laid in a wonderfully cosy bed to sleep.

[aardelea]

How would they deepen your relationship?

Here’s another headcanon for you all! There’s nothing explicit, but you might catch a hint or two. The interpretation is entirely up to you. Enjoy! 💕

We all know those awkward situations when you're just starting out in a relationship and still can’t quite figure out the other person. Let’s hand the initiative over to the gentlemen this time: how would they create romantic situations to bring you closer?

Jin

It might take Jin a while to stop calling you by his old "nicknames." Don't take it too personally, but don't hesitate to remind him that you'd prefer a new title instead of "servant."

Even after you two start a relationship, Jin will still spend most of his time in his room, so your time together will mostly be within those four walls. Although, every now and then, he will take you out, often in the most luxurious way imaginable.

However, he’ll feel most comfortable alone with you in his room. Expect to get close pretty quickly, as Jin seems to be quite a physical person. He’ll respect your boundaries, but he’ll push them just enough to make you blush like never before. Despite his intimidating demeanor, he is incredibly gentle and sensitive beneath his iron mask.

In public, Jin will hold back on physical affection, except for casually keeping an arm around you to signal to others that you’re his. He may dislike the elite to which he belongs, but he won’t risk his status by showing too much in front of others. Some circles still value restraint.

Tohma

"Why be so formal", right? Tohma will quickly show you a side of himself that you’ve only caught glimpses of before—the side that’s tired of his duties and just wants to live again. This side will only make you fall for him even more.

To make sure you don’t get the wrong impression that he’s merely the king’s obedient servant, he’ll take you out of Darkwick whenever possible. He’ll spend time with you somewhere far from the city, in nature, or just anywhere quiet.

The version of Tohma you see in Frostheim is just one side of him. His mask is firmly in place, and he’s careful not to let it slip—although it already has a few times with you. In a relationship, though, he wants you to see the real him. He knows he can be himself with you, and that means everything to him.

Tohma will likely want to keep your relationship as secret as possible. Darkwick, especially Frostheim, can be cruel, and it only takes one wrong person getting wind of your relationship for something bad to happen. He’s already made a few enemies, and he’ll do anything to protect you from harm or malicious gossip. So, don’t expect public displays of affection or even hints that you’re together. But look forward to those moments when it’s just the two of you, because he’ll make up for every second of having to hide your love in ways you can only imagine.

Luca

Luca will be over the moon when you two start dating, but since he’s the cautious type, you’ll have to show him that you’re not made of glass. He might treat you too delicately at first.

Being the gentleman he is, Luca will never test your limits and will only go as far as you allow. But once you give him the green light to take the lead, he will. Luca isn’t shy, after all. It doesn’t matter where you are, either—he’ll go along with anything as long as it’s socially appropriate.

In public, he’s comfortable showing affection, like holding your hand or small gestures that make it clear you’re his girlfriend. He’ll be even happier if you initiate. To strengthen your bond, though, he’ll prioritize spending time alone with you, much to Kaito’s dismay. Instead of hanging out at the library, you’ll likely start borrowing books and studying together at either of your places. Expect gentle hand touches, soothing massages after long study sessions, and whatever else the two of you might explore together.

Although Luca would love to take you wherever you wish, he’ll never forget his commitment to his brother. He’ll focus on that while also trying to take on as many missions as possible, afraid of losing you too soon. You’ll need to remind him to take breaks, but don’t worry—he won’t be able to say no to you.

Kaito

Kaito will need time to process the fact that you’ve entered a relationship with him. At first, things might feel a bit awkward between you as neither of you really knows how to approach the other.

You’ll likely have to take the first step and assure him that you’re serious about him. Something as simple as holding his hand in public or when you’re studying together will go a long way.

Once Kaito feels more secure and convinced that you’re not just a dream, he’ll begin approaching you on his own. Since he lacks experience, there will be a lot of trial and error. How will you react if he reaches for your hand in public? Do you prefer a kiss as a greeting, or is a hug better? Your reactions will guide him on how far he can go.

To understand your relationship better, Kaito will focus on taking you on small, intimate dates, testing the waters. A casual arm around your shoulder during a movie, his hands around your waist when he gets closer—though all of this will happen in private. It’ll be a while before he does any of this in public, so be patient with him.

Alan

Alan is known for being a man of few words and minimalism. Don’t expect deep conversations even in a relationship. He’ll gradually open up more about his feelings, but it’ll take time.

To get to know you better, he’ll want to involve you in his activities, including joining him on missions—so long as they’re not too dangerous. He’ll also take you out into nature, where he spends most of his free time. After all, there’s no better place to truly understand someone.

He’ll continue giving you head pats, but over time, he’ll feel so comfortable with you that he’ll unconsciously seek your physical presence more often. If you reciprocate, he’ll become more confident and keep it up.

You’ll quickly notice when Alan wants to show affection because he’s naturally a very loving person, though he thinks too little of himself. Every time he tries, he’ll stop and apologize, worrying that he’s gone too far—though in reality, he never does. He’s far gentler than he gives himself credit for. If you want him to continue, you’ll have to encourage him because otherwise, he’ll fear hurting you.

Sho

Sho would remain as laid-back in a relationship as he usually is, quickly making you feel safe around him. No matter what’s bothering you, you can unload it on him without hesitation.

If you’re the type who enjoys public displays of affection, that’s not a problem. Sho will accommodate, at least up to a point where he still feels comfortable. He won’t initiate physical contact himself, preferring to take your lead. The exception is if you’re too shy to make the first move. He’ll pick up on that quickly and save you the trouble while savoring every moment of watching you blush.

Sho will take every opportunity to let you ride with him on his beloved Bonnie. You’re probably the only person he’d ever allow to drive her yourself, which is the ultimate expression of his affection. When you’re alone, he’ll act as he always does, but he’ll seek your company more directly, although slowly and without rushing.

Be prepared for Sho to start giving you cute nicknames very early on, whether people are around or not. He especially enjoys annoying Leo with his affection for you, and that’s one of the few times he’ll amp it up just to get on Leo’s nerves—if you’re okay with it, of course.

Leo

First off, respect for actually getting Leo into a relationship. That couldn’t have been easy. He’s extremely self-centered and, in turn, has unrealistically high standards for his girlfriend—standards you’ve clearly met. The path to that point was likely already uncomfortable enough for him, as he had to admit to himself that he could love someone other than his own reflection. But once he’s gotten over that hurdle, he’ll be able to fully commit to you.

Even though he has the natural personality of a mean little rat, and won’t be able to shake that even in a relationship, he can be very sweet when he wants to be. Expect any kind of affection or attention from him to come with the implication that you practically begged him for it, and he—being the nice guy that he is—decided to give in to his sweet girlfriend’s requests. If you’re hoping to get him to admit that he’s the one who desperately needs you: forget it. It would take force to make him say that.

He’ll be the same offline as he was online with you. He loves being near you and will demand your presence often. You’ll become his favorite pillow, one he enjoys keeping close as he falls asleep. He’ll also love showing you off in public, so expect lots of attention from him when you’re out together.

Talking about emotions won’t be his thing. Once you’re free to gou out again, you can expect him to want to take you clubbing. He won’t hold back when dancing and will want to push your boundaries. The further you’re willing to go, the more fun you’ll have together. Surprisingly, though, he’ll respect your limits once you’ve made them clear to him.

Haru

Haru is already an open person who’s unafraid of physical touch, so at the start of your relationship, he’ll put in a lot of effort to make you feel like you’re truly special to him. Expect a lot of attention from him, in every way, whenever he finds the time.

Affection comes naturally to Haru. Paired with the fact that he has very few inhibitions, a simple hug can quickly turn into something more if you don’t stop him. Of course, unless you want to take things further. In public, he’ll be more than happy to show that you’re his and his alone—not so much to mark his territory, but because touch is second nature to him, and he has to make a serious effort to hold back with you.

The last thing Haru wants is for you to feel uncomfortable. If he ever senses that one of his advances is too much, he’ll immediately apologize and stop. He can’t help it, though. You’re like his oasis in the middle of the desert that is Jabberwock. As much as he loves that desert, it drains him of all energy, and he needs a change of scenery. Preferably with you. Whatever you have in mind, he’ll want to do it with you, as long as it fits into the schedule and budget.

Since there will be plenty of days when you can’t spend time together, he’ll almost certainly suggest spending nights together at least. Talking about your day in bed, or goofing around until sleep takes you both—so long as you get to enjoy those rare moments of intimacy in each other’s arms.

Towa

Towa doesn’t care much for formalities or conventions, so he’ll start exploring you and your body fairly early on.

In the beginning, a lot of your dates will be outdoors. As you look into each other’s eyes under the stars, Towa will ask you all sorts of questions about yourself and your preferences. Not in a straightforward way, though, but through stories. “What’s the most beautiful love story you know, Dandelion? What do you like most about it? Do you see yourself in that story?”

Towa is the kind of person who knows exactly what he wants and expects the same from you. If something doesn’t sit well with you, or on the other hand, if something really pleases you, he wants you to tell him directly so that he knows how best to act around you, ensuring you enjoy his closeness as much as he enjoys yours.

While most of your early dates will be private, he’ll probably come off as possessive in public without even realizing it. He’ll hug you whenever he sees you, and potential rivals will be scared off long before they can even form a thought that involves you. If this behavior makes you uncomfortable, it’s best to communicate that early on and show him that he’s the only one for you—no one will ever come between your love.

Ren

Ren will only be able to deepen your relationship in small steps because he first has to come to terms with how much he enjoys your company and touch. Even if you’ve managed to get him into a committed relationship, there are still plenty of things he needs to learn about himself.

Your movie or raid nights, which you established during your friendship, will, of course, continue joyfully. Over time, he’ll try to get closer to you, testing how far he can go with you and how far his own comfort zone can stretch. If you’re the one to take the initiative, you’ll lift a huge weight off his shoulders, sparing him a few awkward moments.

Once Ren warms up to you, though, there’s no going back. He’ll take every opportunity to snuggle up with you under warm blankets, framing it as though you’re the one who needs his touch the most. And he might not be entirely wrong. By that point, it won’t be about the movies you’re watching anymore.

Ren will likely want to keep your relationship low-key, avoiding any potential conflict. The last thing he wants is to be the target of jealous people who wish they had you—and there are surely a few on campus. It would take an extraordinary amount of stress to push him to make a public claim, but if he does, he’ll act like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Sneaking up from behind, he’ll wrap his arm around your waist and kiss your cheek. “Oh, and could you grab some snacks later?”

Romeo

Romeo is a confident man who knows exactly what he wants and what doesn’t suit him at all. Therefore, you can expect him to communicate this right from the beginning of your relationship. Conversely, he will demand the same from you.

The interesting thing about Romeo, however, is that he will likely not stick to his own rules. While he initially insists that you both behave completely professionally at work, sooner or later, he will be overwhelmed by his own longing and seek your closeness himself. Suddenly, he’ll sit down next to you, wrap his arm around your waist, and before you know it, you’ll be in his lap. This is still completely professional, understood?

Since Romeo also knows that a relationship must be built and requires effort, he will reluctantly make the effort to invite you over after work to discuss the successes and failures of the day. More or less subtly, he will try to create physical closeness during these discussions. Depending on how far he’s allowed to go with you, the evening discussions may sometimes take a little longer.

In public, on the other hand, Romeo wants to maintain professionalism. No holding hands or any other form of affection is allowed. But woe betide him if he sees you standing (in his opinion) too close to another man or being looked at too intensely (again, in his opinion). He will quickly mark his territory (you) by casually coming over, wrapping his arm around your waist, and giving you a kiss on the forehead. The (supposed) admirer will soon know his place.

Taiga

By the time you can claim you're in a relationship, you'll probably have already reached the point where Taiga remembers your name. Even if it's just remembering that you're his kitty.

With Taiga, some things will move faster than with the other ghouls since he's the only one who has absolutely no inhibitions. This means that deepening your relationship will primarily happen on an emotional level, as all uncertainties regarding physical affection will already have been cleared up. By then, you'll likely have already gone quite far.

Naturally, you're his little lucky charm that he shows off everywhere and lets sit on his lap, but now it's up to you to get him used to the fact that a relationship requires much more than physical affection (or his equivalent of it). Interestingly, he'll be quite a tough nut to crack because he keeps deeper feelings locked away and will initially brush off your time together as just fun. Not that he doesn't have deeper feelings, but he doesn't seem like the type who would communicate them easily.

Push him into deeper conversations and whisper declarations of love into his ear until he finally realizes that you're much more to him than just a fun adventure you have committed to. That you appreciate all sides of him and stand by his side out of conviction. He might not be the type to want to talk about this stuff, but if things are going to work, he has to learn to understand you too—and accept that he's lovable as well.

Ritsu

Since Ritsu is a highly organized person, he'll probably create some sort of checklist to figure out what works for both of you in a relationship, point by point. Each point will be discussed in detail, with its pros and cons. To your surprise, he has no inhibitions about this, and his list won’t leave anything out. If any point goes too far for you, it's best to communicate that early before he acts on it.

Since he's not really the type to talk about feelings, he'll stick to showing his affection through actions. Bringing you flowers after work, giving you a massage in the evening, or a tender kiss exactly where he knows you like it the most.

Whether or not he'll show his affection publicly will depend very much on the results of your checklist. In principle, he wouldn’t mind doing so outside of work hours, though he generally isn't the type for public displays of affection. However, if he notices that his attention makes you happy in some form or another, he'll gladly make an exception.

He'll mainly try to deepen your relationship by involving you in all his cases, allowing you to become part of his daily life. However, distractions are absolutely unacceptable. Whatever you’d like to do with him has to wait until after work. That said, some breaks can definitely be put to good use.

Haku

Haku is quite a confident guy who has already observed and questioned you enough before you got together, so he already has a pretty good idea of who you are and what you like.

Of course, a serious relationship is something entirely different from a purely platonic, though close, friendship, so he's well aware that he needs to make some effort to keep the spark alive and ensure that you completely fall for him.

Since he’s absolutely the type for public displays of affection, he’ll try to initiate them pretty quickly. If you're not into that, he’ll respect it, but be prepared for him to test all boundaries unless you stop him. He just finds you too adorable, and the shyer you react, the more fun he has with it.

To give you both the best chance to adjust to each other, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible—late into the night. Whether at your place or his dorm, he’ll make time to fully enjoy your time together. Whether it's watching a movie, discussing past missions, studying for your courses, or simply relaxing and watching funny videos on the internet. He'll also want to explore you. How far that goes is entirely up to you.

Subaru

Subaru is a rather shy man who, much like Alan, doesn’t have much confidence in himself when it comes to dealing with people, let alone with you. So, it’s safe to assume that any progress in your relationship will take time.

However, Subaru does have a sense of romance, and he will come closer to you step by step if you allow it. What starts as regular tea or meal dates will turn into sweet, long nights where you share stories with each other. Whether they’re fairy tales or legends you’ve heard or made-up stories that reflect parts of your own experiences, Subaru will gradually reveal more about himself and eagerly absorb everything you tell him about yourself.

As a result, getting physically closer will happen almost automatically. First, very slowly, as he unconsciously reduces the distance between you, until you eventually find yourself in his arms, enjoying the peaceful night together. He’ll always make sure that his touch is comfortable for you before continuing. Hopefully, by that point, you’ll have already told him everything that makes you uncomfortable because, if not, he’ll soon figure it out.

Subaru’s love is pure and genuine. You’ll feel that with every touch of his hands on your skin and with every initially shy kiss he gives you. Even if enough time has passed for you to be comfortable with each other, every touch from him will still sweep you off your feet, and you'll lose yourself completely in him. As he gains confidence from realizing the effect he has on you, he’ll never take advantage of it but will savor it fully because it shows him that you’re just as smitten with him as he is with you.

Zenji

Before your relationship even begins, you and Zenji will have already spent a lot of time together, as it would take quite a bit to convince him to enter into a relationship despite his condition. As a result, you’ll have already learned how to make the most of your time together.

You’re Zenji's muse (and maybe he’s yours too?), and your mere presence constantly inspires him to write new lyrics and compose the most beautiful music just for you. The difference now is that it will often be about love and performed under the romantic light of the moon.

Zenji follows you wherever you want to go, and with a little persuasion and practice, you’ll reach a point where you can simulate touches like holding hands so convincingly that both of you could swear you can feel each other's warmth. Over time, it will become one of your favorite activities to "touch" each other—pressing your palms together, brushing your hands over each other's cheeks, pressing your lips together longingly until it almost feels real.

Instead of losing yourselves in the pain of longing, this practice brings you both a sense of fulfillment, so much so that you wouldn’t want to stop it, even though you both dream of truly being able to feel each other one day. If Zenji has taught you anything, it’s that hope can be found everywhere. Being with Zenji makes you feel more alive than ever before, and the same goes for him.

Rui

Let’s assume this scenario features the Rui we’ve encountered so far—the one cursed to be distanced from practically any form of human closeness. He is absolutely cautious, and it was already quite challenging to convince him that a relationship between you could work. Now, it’s really up to you to show him what a relationship without touch and the fear of… well, death… can look like.

The only way to show him your feelings at first is through spoken words. He will gladly lie down next to you at night, albeit at a healthy distance, and listen to your words. He will also go along with any date ideas you have as long as they don’t involve too many people. Even though he absorbs every declaration of love from you like a sponge and reciprocates every tender feeling, it still torments him that he can’t fully express it.

He will only start to take your relationship more seriously in the sense that he sees it as more realistic when it becomes somewhat visible on the outside. Even if it’s through excessive flirting at the bar, where you can’t take your eyes off him, it will make him happier than anything if you also want to outwardly show that you are irrevocably taken. It would be wise not to get too close to any other man during your relationship, even without any intentions and absolutely unintentionally, so that Rui doesn’t get the idea that you’re longing for touches too much.

The last logical step would be a solution for the all-too-human needs that only a partner could fulfill. At this point, he will fortunately come toward you, especially if you’re too shy to make the appropriate hints or even advances. You can indeed explore each other superficially without touching. Show him that this is enough for you, and he will have no more doubts.

Ed

Ed is another man without reservations. He takes what he wants, and with his innate charm, which he has perfected over the centuries, he can quickly wrap you around his finger if you’re not careful. With enough self-confidence—which he will find very attractive—you will soon be able to fall completely for him, just as he likely already has for you.

Since Ed is very limited in his movements, your time together will unfortunately have to be confined to Obscuary, where he will summon you at every opportunity. Even though he will want to create the impression that he has full power over you—which is also related to his actual strength—you will increasingly realize in your ongoing conversations that he is only trying to mask the fact that he is completely under your spell. Whether you want to leave him in his illusion or begin to push your influence over him is entirely up to you.

He will reveal a lot of personal information about himself without even realizing it or being able to explain why he is so open with you. Without directly saying it, you will quickly notice how much you mean to him. Whether you play along with his game in which he holds the reins is up to you. In public (or what can be interpreted as public within the confines of Rui’s bar), he certainly won’t hesitate to mark you as his prey. You will not lack for physical affection. Ed may not get jealous easily, but he does value everyone knowing their place. And yours is, after all, by his side.

Physical affection will come quickly at the beginning of your relationship, and not just a little. Like all other ghouls, he will never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. However, where exactly he gives you his attention in Obscuary is completely irrelevant to him. Even if he prefers to spend time with you in his room, best arm in arm while watching some ominous YouTube videos, he will get your attention anywhere else if he lacks physical affection, as long as you allow it.

Lyca

Lyca knows neither boundaries nor social conventions particularly well, which means it’s up to you how quickly you want to deepen your relationship. A “no” to one thing or another will likely be difficult for him to understand, but he will respect your wishes.

Since he is practically exploring life anew with you, a relationship is no exception. Aside from copying what he observes here and there to test if it works for both of you, he won’t hesitate to express his own needs. Just come to bed with him and cuddle. Why should that be something forbidden?

He will also enjoy smelling you and sending chills down your spine with his breath on your neck. Aside from that, he will sooner or later want to explore every inch of you. He will want to absorb every scent and sensation on his skin.

Lyca is a bundle of energy and literally up for anything. Whatever you want to do to get to know him better and gauge him, he will gladly join in. But be prepared for some situations that might be uncomfortable for you, as he simply doesn’t know boundaries. Although girls may intimidate him, he will warm up to you extremely quickly, and inhibitions will naturally fall.

Yuri

Oh dear, the poor man has already agreed to enter into a relationship with you, and now he’s supposed to invest time to keep the relationship alive? Have a little mercy and take some work off his hands. His mind is so full of brilliant ideas that it’s a bit difficult for him to settle into a completely foreign situation and let go.

Since he spends most of his time in the lab, you will have to do the same. However, he will meet you halfway by sending Jiro home early while samples are being analyzed. You will even be surprised to find his office occasionally adorned with candles.

He will initially be very stiff because he doesn’t really know how to behave toward you now. If you can’t tolerate awkward advances in an otherwise lovingly furnished environment, feel free to meet him halfway and take control. In this case, he will gladly allow it. Show him that you are his and that he is irrevocably yours. Although he may appear arrogant and self-absorbed outwardly—something you might agree with to some extent—that doesn’t mean he can’t be completely smitten with a partner.

Once you’ve warmed up to each other even a little, he will quickly regain his confidence and take you out, dancing closely by candlelight to silent music, and taking romantic walks with you. Once you’re at that point, frequent (doctor's) visits to your dorm won’t take long to follow.

Jiro

In a relationship, Jiro will be just as playful as he is during a simple friendship. So prepare yourself for the fact that he will delight in testing your boundaries until you give him the signal that he has gone too far. You just look too cute when you’re embarrassed.

Since he loves to see you blush, he won’t hold back with physical affection and will do whatever comes to mind that he thinks will elicit the sweetest reaction from you. But it’s not just your reaction that he enjoys; he also simply loves feeling your skin against his, something he would openly communicate if you asked him.

Jiro has no qualms about presenting you as his in public. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, you’ll need to communicate it to him clearly. He will respect all your decisions.

He won’t explicitly ask you to, but he also won’t stop you from following him everywhere during his daily life. When he’s not working, he’ll try to spend every free moment with you because he enjoys your company more than anything. Due to everything he has experienced and still must go through, he is emotionally scarred. He will want to savor this uniquely warm feeling he experiences during your time together, especially during any exchange of affection.

[ghouldtime]

Neighbor! König Part 3

Part One Part Two

It's only after THREE MONTHS in that you find out his name isn't Kevin

Why? You overheard a phone call. A phone call with his mom

Because, to put it in small terms: König is a mama's boy

Not in the gross way that boy moms do (everyone say EWWWW) or the manchildren who think their mom can do no wrong and will always side with her over on everything. We know those guys. He's not that. Not even close

No, in the 'he genuinely loves and cares about his mother because this is the person who raised him so his respect for her and love is absolutely profound'

That's the woman who raised him, that's the person who read him bedtime stories at night when he couldn't sleep, that's the lovely lady who would let him hide behind her skirts when she'd take him into the village and people would try to say hi, she's the one and only who taught him all about the many wonders of the world and how beautiful nature is

Yeah, he's going to respect her. He loves his mom and for good reason

He calls her every day if possible because she still lives quite far away in Austria :( and things haven't been the same since his dad passed away

He doesn't live near or with her, as much as it pains him, because quite frankly: he can't risk it. He still visits as much as he can, but living with her makes her a target because he's a man with blood covering his hands and there's people who will do anything to get to him

He can't risk her like that, wouldn't ever dream of it

She understands. He doesn't tell her the extent because he can't break her heart and he's afraid she might see him different, but he does tell her HOW dangerous it could be

He will always tell her about the good things he does, though! Like saving hostages! That's always great. She's so proud of him

He might be a grown ass man at 6'7" and weighing over 250 lbs that absolutely towers over her but he will always be her sweet baby boy before anything else

He is always writing her letters and sending her packages and pictures! Letters just are more heartfelt usually and she's old fashioned, she likes having something physical to hang onto especially now that her eyesight is fading

She is always sending them in return too. His favorite coffee mugs are all shaped like little forest animals and she made them! They're precious and he's so happy holding his little hedgehog mug (even if it is a bit spiky)

ANYWAYS how you found out his name wasn't Kevin was because you heard her use his name

His real name

That wasn't Kevin or even close.

And afterwards you had to go "... uh... Kevin? Who is she talking about?"

König has never been close to this flustered before, even when you fell asleep with your head on his broad shoulders when you were watching a movie together

Time to fess up.

He at first tries to go into denial, then dismissal, but it doesn't work at all

He admits defeat. You caught him, he ISN'T Kevin. Well, he's still the same person! That's just not his name

He was too embarrassed to correct you or himself so he went with it and it kept building and building

He wanted to tell you, but it's a hard topic :( he knows he would have stumbled and stuttered over his words until he fell flat on his face

You'd find it out eventually! It's not like he put 'Kevin' on his mail or anything like that

Now, most people would rightfully feel mad and lied to

But he's turning red enough to match the roses he grows and can't seem to meet your eyes. He's sweating bullets, he's genuinely embarrassed here and feels awful about it

Maybe it's against better judgement to accept such a thing so easily but he hasn't been anything but nice to you ever since you broke down his icy walls.

(Aka he's so painfully socially awkward and flustered you feel bad for him and take pity)

And just maybe you heard the "Ich bin in dich verliebt" slip out as you took his hands in yours and assured that you liked him as him, whether he's named Kevin or not, and nothing would change that

[gtgbabie0]

A cold heart

{After distancing yourself from Cregan the truth finally comes out}

Hope you enjoy as always lovelies! 💕

CW// reader is pregnant

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Cregan grew up in the North, he became acclimatised to the cold weather as he grew, but yet he’s never felt so cold then he does right now in your shared bedchambers, despite the warmth of the fire. It’s a type of feeling that completely renders him numb. An aching feeling that sits heavy against his chest, it’s almost as if he can’t breathe.

He watches you climb into bed slipping underneath the many furs. His heart freezes as the realisation slowly sets in, he’s in for another night of silence, and like every other night for the past few weeks you’ll sleep as far away as possible, shrugging off his touch.

It's not that you didn't want him to touch you, quite the opposite actually. You just couldn't risk his wandering hands grazing against your tiny bump, you wouldn't let him find out, not that way.

He doesn’t think he can go another night of isolation. So he reaches out to you in hopes you’ll reopen your caged heart to him once again, just as you did all those moons ago when he confessed his feelings to you.

“Love, will you please tell me what’s bothering you? I can’t stand this silence” he says, a gentle hand against your shoulder and he winces when he feels you go rigid under his palm.

He retreats his hand not wanting to be the cause of your discomfort. You don’t look at him, far too afraid of the pain that will stain his face.

It’s not that you don’t want to tell him, in all honesty, you so desperately wanted to share the news, but you’ve heard so my awful stories from other ladies about their husbands seeking pleasure through other means, how they are completely abandoned by them simply because they were ‘undesirable’ it hurt to hear. You couldn’t imagine going through that.

So maybe that’s why you push Cregan away, because if you do it first it’ll hurt less when does inevitably happen.

“Nothing is wrong Cregan, I’m tired,” you say, wrapping your arms around yourself in search of comfort.

He likes to think that he is a calm man, never quick to anger but right now in this moment, anger is quick to warm his heart.

“Do not lie to me” he says, tone firm. You have only ever heard that when some lord made the mistake of insulting you in front of him, you remember thinking how you never wanted to be on the receiving end of that, yet here you are.

You sigh, biting back the tears that sting the back of your throat. “I just want to sleep Cregan” you whisper and he doesn’t miss the way your voice quivers.

You hear him let out a deep breath, then the bed shifts and he’s getting ready. The sudden change in the atmosphere makes you sit up, bringing the furs up with you, protecting yourself from the bitter cold.

“Where are you going?” You ask, watching as he laces up his boots, his eyes flicker to yours for a moment but they don’t linger long.

“I have work to do. Don’t wait up for me” he tells you and before you even have time to try and even think of what to say he’s gone.

You don’t bother stopping the tears that fall so effortlessly from your eyes. A regretful sob broke through your lips as you feel yourself engulfed by unwavering guilt, the type that pinches at your heart leaving bruises in its wake.

You can’t find solace in sleep, not without Cregan beside you. So you wait, and wait a book in your lap but you pay it no mind as your eyes stay fixed on the door.

You questioned whether or not he had already found another woman. Filthy thoughts tainting your mind, and you know it’s silly. Cregan would never break your trust or heart like that, never.

The hours seem to drag, and you contemplate if you should go out and find him yourself to say your sorries and give him a well-earned explanation, but the Maesters told you rest is the best thing for the babe.

Then the heavy wooden door opens, and there he is. “I told you not to wait up,” he says, and you watch him intently as he takes off his furs and leather.

You want to speak but you haven’t the slightest idea of where to even begin, there are so many words that rattle around in your brain but none of them seem good enough.

He looks over at you, and if it weren’t for the anger that still tingles his skin he would’ve felt sorry for the way you seemed to go in on yourself.

“Have I done something? Offended you somehow?— hurt you?” He wonders, wincing at the way his voice trembles, and the sound brings tears to your eyes.

You shake your head, trying to string a sentence together but the only thing that comes out is a pitiful sob. Emotions collide in your chest.

“Then what is it y/n? Why are you treating me as if I’m a stranger?” He asks, sitting at the end of the bed.

You study the scars that litter his chest, the one that travels across his ribcage that you love to you trace with gentle fingers, and you yearn to be held by him once again.

“I’m so sorry,” you tell him, your hand splayed against your collarbones. You can’t stop the cries that escape you. You shuffle down to where he’s sitting, a careful hand against his shoulder. “I’m sorry Cregan- I can explain” you gasp.

His slightly calloused hand soothes the expanse of your back, he hates seeing you so upset. The painful expression that paints your face, how your eyebrows furrow together. He promised himself that he’d do anything in his power to prevent this.

He wants to be mad, but he can't not when your shoulders shake as you try to stifle your cries behind a shaky hand.

“Love, breathe,” he says, taking your hand in his as he guides you through deep breaths. He’s always been so good at that.

He brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently and you sigh at the feeling of his beard against your skin.

“Cregan, I-” you look up at him as he urges you to continue, worry laced through his eyes, “I am with child” you whisper, your eyes flickering down to where your hands lay against his lap entwined with his own.

“The ladies have said- told stories of how their bodies change, how they no longer look the same as before- their husbands, they-” you sob, not being able to finish the sentence, a desperate need to get him to understand. And he does, he knows what you’re trying to say, and it hurts him beyond words that you would ever even consider the possibility.

His hands gently cup your tearful face, and he gives you the most endearing look he could muster. “My precious wife” he starts, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You are the light of my life, my heart is yours entirely,” he tells you, a sense of relief washing over him as you fling yourself into his arms.

It was silly of you to doubt his love, especially for you. “I know- I’m sorry,” you tell him, kissing his shoulder.

“How long have you known?” He asks, his hands grasping at your hips.

“I had a suspicion for a while” you confess, bringing his hands to your belly. You let out a breathy giggle at the way his eyes light up with excitement as his hand soothe the expanse of your stomach.

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips before wiping away the stray tears that fall from your lashes, “A pup of our own eh?” He says, a teasing look flashing through his eyes as he urges you to lay against the pillows.

His hand dips underneath your nightdress grazing along your thigh travelling to rest at the curve of your stomach, your bump was barely there but yet he knows the difference. He smiles at you softly, enjoying the way your breath hitches at his touch.

“I promise I’ll take such good care of you, and our little one” he says, love bleeding into his tone as he peppers your neck with kisses. Your fingers thread through his hair as you urge him closer to you, you had missed him more than you thought.

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[sleepingelvhen]

The Bat Boys 🦇

A Court of Thorns and Roses NSFW Headcanons [Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian] Minors DO NOT Interact Masterlist

RHYSAND

As the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand has been feared as long as he can remember. Lord of nightmares, Amarantha’s whore, Death Incarnate…he’s heard it all and he’s learned just as well to ignore the daggers the words stabbed into him. His inner circle are the only people he trusts, finding it easier to mask himself with the cold cruelty the world expects. But what if someone sees through that mask? When you look into his hardened gaze and see the kindness beneath – it’s enough to break even him.

SFW

His lips will press into your neck, arms wrapped around your body to keep you held against his chest. It’s impossible to step away, not when he desperately needs to touch you in some way, to keep reminding you that he loves you because he will not dare risk you forgetting. Try to pull away and you’ll find him giggling into your neck, leaving trails upon trails of soft kisses along your neck, your cheek, and into your hair until he tells you no and holds you tighter.

When I tell you this man loves physical affection, I mean you're being cuddled tightly in his sleep, your arm is always hooked into his own, you’re sitting on his lap when he has business to attend to, and every time he sees you, he leaves you with many kisses.

You’re always lavish with gifts. Jewelry placed upon your bed in the morning, chocolates and other snacks always appearing in the kitchen wrapped with ribbons for you. He likes to feed you these snacks, hold you on his lap and press one of the little chocolate truffles into your mouth. He looks so innocent, smiling as he does so. He just wants you to like his gifts, that’s all.

It’s scary to see his face turn cold when the two of you are in public, far away from Velaris. Rhys will keep his arm around your shoulder, body radiating danger to any who approach. One would see a possessive and violent male, keeping his mate so close they could never get away if they tried. But you know it's all an act. Indeed, he’d rather die than let you feel trapped or hurt. It was simply something he had to pull off, keep those within his court afraid and obedient. They respected his strength and coldness, and as such they respected you.

Sometimes it gets a bit too scary. Even you can get caught off guard at the command in his voice, especially when it turns on you. Your playfulness is not fully tolerated, especially when it pushes his cold mask. And with a stern voice telling you to stop, you can’t help but feel a little hurt. He will make it up to you as soon as he can, flying as fast as possible to Velaris, whispering so many apologies and kissing every part of your face so you can forgive him. He promises he’ll make it up to you. He promises.

NSFW

Rhysand loves seeing your face as he rolls his hips, rutting himself inside of you. You can see his face wrought in pleasure, as he stares into your eyes, moving slowly at first, letting you get used to his size. He wanted so much more but he was far from cruel. He coos softly, murmuring gentle praises about how gorgeous you look beneath him, how good you’re doing, taking him so well. But he wants to hear your voice, he wants you to moan and whimper, the sweet honey of your voice would hypnotize him.

He is the dominant one here, loving to be on top, loving to take control. He adores seeing you mewl beneath him, loves how he can grab you and move you around to his heart’s content. He will tease you through the whole way, touching you without reaching the parts you need to be pressed into, licking and kissing you but never letting you have what you want. It brings a cruel smile to his face, as you become putty in his hand.

Make him go completely weak and feral by wearing clothes that barely cover you. Teasing him with how he can nearly see everything, but not enough, the one spot he wants to see is covered with cloth, so tight against your skin. He’s drooling at the sight, and desperate to get you in bed as soon as possible.

Be careful when turning him on. He is unafraid to take you whenever and wherever. In fact, he gets off when people are watching as he’s stroking and rubbing and licking you. Your embarrassment would fuel him even more, loving the pink fluster upon your face, the way your lips tremble as you try not to let your body twitch and shake as he works you into the next orgasm.

And, of course, he will take you in the sky. Focused on flying but seeing you in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist. You're irresistible, so much so that he can’t help but lose control and take you right there. Who cares who sees? Who cares who hears how loud he’s going to make you? All that matters is getting his cock sheathed in you and allowing the canted movement of his wings to carry the two of you through the air as he desperately breeds you.

He’s unafraid to please you, he wants to please you. It doesn’t matter if he gets off or not, he wants his face between your legs, sucking at every sensitive bit, his tongue reaching places that make you scream. Fingers digging into the plush of your thighs, keeping you spread as he slurps up everything he can get. It’s like a fine wine to him, and he can’t get enough.

AZRIEL

Decorated in blue siphon and cloaked in shadow; Azriel is one of the most feared Illyrians in the land. Hidden and quiet within the dark, all the information his to know and no one’s to discover. It’s an understatement to say he’s intimidating, brooding in the corner of almost any room, listening to any gossip he can hear, and gaining even more information from the whispering shadows that coil around his feet, licking at his calves. And yet, as intimidating as he is, you can see the kindness behind his eyes. The desperation for someone to understand who he really was.

SFW

His eyes are always on you, watching over you as often as possible. Protective is an understatement, but he wouldn’t provoke…no, a cold gaze was often enough to ward away anyone who approached you with ill intent. But having him brooding in the corner wouldn’t do. You’d bring out the playfulness in him, grabbing his hands and dragging him into the party. People were uncomfortable but you…he could focus on you. A shadow of a smile was all you needed to know he was okay.

Azriel would be nervous of physical affection at first, worried he’d make you feel uncomfortable, afraid to push you away by moving too fast or coming off as too needy. Even after you’ve shown you’re okay with it, the most you get in public is him standing close in your space, his hand on your shoulder when guiding you or talking to you, or his hand planted on the small of your back, thumb rubbing circles in comfort.

He likes giving you little gifts as well. Almost like a crow, he’ll come up to you with a pretty little gem or stone he found or bought, looking to the side as you accept it. Maybe he’d buy some jewelry for you but he enjoys making you things, little crafting projects that make him think of you. It would be adorable if you taught him how to make cheesy friendship bracelets, the colorful cheap braided creations something he would find joy in making for you.

Do you have a lot to do today? He will offer his help immediately. If he’s not busy, he’s helping you with chores, or even silently doing something he knew you were gonna ‘get to later’. How did he know? Well…he’s a spymaster for a reason and the shadows aren’t just for show.

He loves just spending time with you. You don’t have to do anything together, but being in the same room as you, reading or cuddling, he doesn’t mind. As long as you’re there and you’re together, he’s happy.

Speaking of his little shadows – they adore you. They don’t just act as his little spies, they also show a bit of his own emotions and where he is a little on the edge about showing affection, they are swirling around your ankles, poking your face or curling around your wrist. Like little animals, swaying side to side once they see you, singing a melody only the two of you can hear.

NSFW

When I say this man is the kinkiest fucker. He’s needy and desperate and can’t keep his hands off of you. Squeezing your sides, pulling you roughly beneath him as he straddles you. Breathing in your scent and moaning into your ear, hands groping and stroking any part of you he can find. The way he will lick your inner thigh before searching for more with his mouth, ready to make you moan and writhe beneath him, desiring more than anything to hear your sweet sounds. He’s going in with one goal: to make you forget how to think.

Here’s hoping you are into the same things he’s into. He wants to tie you up, gag you, choke you, pull your hair, leave bite marks all over you, and spank you. And that’s not even all of it. Azriel is taking you in multiple positions, moaning obscenities into your ear, praising you for being such a ‘good slut’, because you take him so fucking well. One large hand wrapped around your throat while the other digs into your hips, crescent shaped marks left in your skin.

Lingerie really fucks with his man. Wearing any lacey, silky, article of clothing makes his mind instantly fog up and there will be no escaping him as he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the bed. He’ll make you keep it on while he pulls it to the side to slot himself in, growling as he fits so perfectly into you, his wings shuddering in pleasure. Grab his wings if the opportunity presents itself, rub them and scratch them, and you’ll hear the loudest moan you’ve ever heard from him.

As quiet as this man is, he has the dirtiest mouth imaginable. He’s insulting you, praising you, telling you what he’s gonna do to you to make you scream, and if it isn’t the hottest thing in the world. Go ahead and struggle, he loves it when you struggle against him, fighting futilely as he drives himself in deeper, holding you down with a grin. 

He knows he’s done well when you start crying from overstimulation or pain. Azriel is licking up your tears, mocking you as he goes harder and faster, laughing darkly into your neck while sucking on the bruises he already made there. 

You know his shadows are playing too. Wrapped around your wrists and ankles, pushing into you like separate appendages. Wherever he isn’t touching, they’re making up for it, and it’s so strange but amazing how they rub against you and push between your lips. Blanketing both of you in the heat of the moment in a cascade of shadows.

Azriel calms down a bit after multiple rounds of this, holding you close and whispering in your ear praises and apologies, worried he hurt you or that you hate him. Run your fingers through his hair and hold him close. You both will need a long bath afterwards, one you will end up sharing, cleaning one another.

CASSIAN

One of the most playful of the bat boys, Cassian is all cocky grins and flirtatious phrases. It’s a mask of sorts, hiding the negativity within him as best as he can. Many are intimidated by him and his strength, being the commander of The Night Court’s armies. Where others may cower from his shining gaze, you don’t see his strength as a trait to hide from. You can see the genuine kindness in his eyes, and the pain he hides below. And as someone he feels he can trust, he is unafraid to be vulnerable.

SFW

With a wide, cocky smile, Cassian will take you everywhere with him. It doesn’t even have to be work-related, and most often has nothing to do with it. You said you want to go see the stars? He’s flying you to the best vantage point, strong arms holding you close to his chest. You wonder what the other courts look like? Guess you’re going on a vacation. And he’s by your side every step of the way.

He loves holding your hand. As mundane as it seems, he loves seeing your small hand captured in his. He’ll be comparing your hand sizes, making fun of you for how small you are compared to him, and kissing your forehead while he keeps your hand entwined with his.

Joking around is his favorite way to show how comfortable the two of you are. He makes fun of you, and you make fun of him. He avoids any topics that would make you uncomfortable, and teases you in only the ways you find funny. He likes to poke your sides, sneak up on you and pick you up, and throw food at you. 

If Cassian’s jokes do go too far, you just have to say so, and you’ll be met with apologies upon apologies. He’ll be sure to avoid whatever hurts your feelings in the future. Jokes and playfulness are meant to be all in good fun, and if you are feeling hurt then he knows he did something wrong.

Now, he may not be overly possessive, but if someone is flirting with you or making you uncomfortable, he is striding up, his arm wrapping around your shoulders while he glares daggers at whoever is even trying. The smile stays on, teeth glinting in a threatening kindness. You can complain and poke fun at him all you want, but he’s not letting anyone think they have a chance with you, not while he’s alive.

Expect long mornings laying in bed, his arm trapping you to his chest as he snores, his nose nuzzling your neck. He likes sleeping in as much as he enjoys training with his brothers. And his love of sleep only increases when you’re involved. “Five more minutes,” he's huffing into your ear, one of his hands covering your eyes. “Go back to sleep.” Any chance of leaving this situation disappears when he drapes his wings over your body like a second blanket, his arms wrapping around your stomach, and he throws his leg over your own.

NSFW

Sleepy morning sex. You’re just waking up, still hazy, and you’re finding yourself trapped in a tight cuddle. And as you struggle to get up for the day, he’s groaning and kissing your neck, slowly waking up. But he starts to press his hardened cock against your ass, his husky voice greeting you with a lust-filled, “good morning,” and you don’t know why you thought you’d be leaving the bed.

Cassian likes to move a bit slowly at first, hands caressing you, his hips rubbing against your body – teasing you in every spot you want him. Maybe he’s being lazy, or maybe he wants to hear you actually beg for it. Because, oh, when you beg for him, he’s smirking and shoving his hand into your bottoms, thick fingers rubbing you in all the right places, hooking inside of you to feel every inch.

And when you moan, he’s chuckling in that deep voice, praising you for your sounds. “Such a pretty noise,” he groans out. “Do that again.” And the more noises you make, the more impatient he gets. Soon enough, he’s pressing you into the mattress, your clothes half pulled off as he’s rolling his hips into you, moaning out in delight as your body wraps around him.

Cassian loves the little noises you make as he fucks you, and they get even more delectable when he pulls your hair. He can’t help how his hips stutter, his body shivering in delight as you gasp out, his hands tugging at the strands of your hair. He swears you tightened around him just then, and he plans to test out if that’s true.

Cassian certainly has a high sex drive, and one that can flare up at any time, often at inopportune times as well. You’re cooking in the kitchen? He’s wondering how you’d look bent over the counter. You’re talking with his brothers? His mind is going wild wondering how you’d feel if he just started touching you in front of them. And don’t think he wouldn’t do it, him and the bat boys have done some things around each other, and he’d be lying if he said the thought of being watched didn’t turn him on.

You want him to go crazy? To lose his mind? Ask him to breed you. Tell him you want to have his babies, and the next surface is where you're being pressed into for the next hour or so. Legs over his shoulders, arms wrapped around your waist, all while he’s rutting himself into you with reckless abandon. He just wants to fill you up and the thought of seeing you pregnant…well, now he needs another round.

Don’t worry about being exhausted afterwards, he’s immediately carrying you to a bath to clean you up. You need warmth for your muscles, and he needs to watch you covered in soap and tease you about what just happened. After your lovely little bath session, your back to cuddling, and falling asleep with him never once letting you go.

[tragedybunny]

Fun Astarion idea:

Tav finds a wish spell (does the Deck of Many Things behind Astarion's back and gets insanely lucky), and offers to use it to cure his Vampirism.

He would probably be annoyed at them for risking that, at least.

This one ended up short and sweet anon, but I didn't want to belabor it because I think it would be gilding the lily.

As requested, Tav draws from the Deck Many Things, Astarion is less than thrilled.

Gambles and Wishes - F!Reader x Astarion

“Astarion,” you pound on the door to your home’s library until you thought it would break. 

“I’m still not talking to you,” he shouts back, not even getting close to the door. 

It was locked from the inside and you consider an unlocking spell for a moment but stop. The lock was a boundary, and you hated to cross his boundaries, he didn’t get to have any for so long. Instead you opt to groan in frustration. “Please, this isn’t the healthiest way to solve our problems.”

“Neither is lying, but that didn’t stop you,” he shoots back and you cringe because he’s technically right. 

“It wasn’t lying so much as not telling. And see, you’re talking to me so why don’t we stop shouting through the door.” To be honest, it was starting to make you nervous, he’d never been angry at you for this long before. Maybe your good intentions had taken things too far. “Please Love, Starry Sky,” your voice shakes. 

The noise of the lock opening causes your heart to leap, but you're not sure if it’s dread or elation, so you just stand there, arms crossed around yourself until the door opens. Astarion stares at you with watery red eyes, “is that really how you want this relationship to work?”

“No, you’re right, but the possible reward was too great to deny.” Why can’t he understand, you’d do anything for him?

“So was the risk, you pulled a card from the Deck of Many things. You know magic, you know what could’ve happened.” He’s not shouting anymore, it’s so much worse. He’s barely whispering the words, and the tears are finally starting to spill over. “And you didn’t even consult me, we’re supposed to be equals in this.” 

So much for those boundaries you didn’t want to cross, the realization started to eat you up inside. Protecting him wasn’t a good excuse anymore. “I’m so sorry. It’s just that I would risk anything for you and I knew you wouldn’t let me.” 

Even amidst all the pain, the two of you find yourselves holding onto each other. “Sunlight, that’s because you always take risks for me. You need to worry more about yourself sometimes.” He sniffles into your shoulder, and you hope his tears are drying as you stroke his hair. 

“I know, last one I promise. But I got what I wanted, one Wish spell, we can have the life we thought was impossible.” The life you wanted so badly to give him, the life he deserved. 

Stepping back from you, he appraises you seriously. “Are you sure this is what you would use it on? You could have an Empire, become a Goddess. Not that you aren’t already, especially when it comes too- ” he smiles lasciviously. 

“Astarion,” playfully you smack his shoulder, “behave yourself. And yes this is the only thing I could think of using it on. I couldn’t wish for anything more than you.”  

“You’re still a silly girl who’s too nice to me.” New tears appear in his eyes you notice, but for an entirely different reason. “Well then I accept, on one condition of course.”

“And what is that?” 

“You promise you’re stuck with me as long as we both live. I’m not used to being alive of course, I’m going to need someone to keep an eye on me for a long time. And let’s be honest, you’re the most qualified. I don’t think any of our friends would really be able to handle it.” 

He’s rambling but you know it’s because he’s nervous, so you lean over and kiss him softly. “Deal. Now let’s make you an un-undead Love.” 

[vsxfbd]

[kooldewd123]

The scene of the Animorphs voting whether or not to make David one of them might be one of the best character moments in the entire series. You can read into everyone's actions in this scene so well.

Marco sees "the bright, clear line." David hasn't seen any of them yet. He doesn't know anything. Just giving him up to the Yeerks is incredibly cruel, but it's the safest option. At the same time, how much of this is just his personal feelings? He's the only one who dissents on the basis of personality. He doesn't really like the way David acts, but is that enough reason for concern or is he just writing him off because he can't stand being around him?

Cassie is eager to go for it. She had just taken a massively risky leap of faith with Aftran, and it had actually paid off. And if trusting a Yeerk could lead to good things, surely trusting a human would turn out even better. She's already seeing the big picture: maybe David is the first of many. Maybe they could extend their force even more and give themselves the opportunity to make a bigger difference.

Rachel starts out against it. Despite their frequent disagreements, she and Marco both share that ruthless streak and often end up on the same side of heavy decisions as a result. She's the first to agree with Marco about giving David up, and the first to voice against making him an Animorph. But Cassie's argument sways her over. Cassie is probably just thinking that more people equals more power, but Rachel frames it by saying that more people means they can afford to take bigger risks (something that Marco can't help but agree with). Cassie is thinking optimistically, but Rachel sees it from a warrior's perspective.

Tobias is for it, and of course he is. David is just like Tobias was back then: no real family, no real home, and effectively a stranger to the rest of the group. He can't give up on David. He needs to have faith that things will work out, the same way they did for him (in a way). There's literally no other choice, as far as he sees it. He says Jake should make the ultimate call but clearly doesn't actually believe that, seeing as how when Jake replies that they need to put it up to a vote, Tobias immediately votes in favor of making him an Animorph.

Ax in particular is fascinating to me here because he's the one who actually suggests making David an Animorph in the first place. At the start of the series, breaking the law of Seerow's Kindness and sharing Andalite technology with humans, let alone a complete stranger, would have been completely unthinkable to him. But now he's seen just how fallible Andalites can be. He's begun to doubt the pillars of his society, and has thrown his lot in with the humans instead. He makes a very human suggestion here. It's something you'd expect Cassie or Tobias to come up with, not Ax. When the vote actually comes around, however, he votes against it. Like Rachel, he views it from a military perspective, but comes to the opposite conclusion. More Animorphs would be good to add to their ranks, but he's been in an army before and this ain't exactly one of those. A seventh member isn't enough of an added benefit, and putting a stranger in the role is too much of a wild card when they're about to undertake such an important mission.

We don't know what Jake is thinking. He never provides an opinion, only stating the facts of the situation and prodding the others for their votes. He's presumably freaking out inside, but trying to keep a calm demeanor in the face of the biggest decision they've had to make up to this point. Any weakness at this pivotal moment could skew everything, so he has to remain as neutral as possible until he can properly collect his thoughts. He's the last of the group to make his vote, and he really doesn't end up making one in the end. David wakes up, sees them, and Jake decides to bring him into the group. If David hadn't woken up there, what would Jake have chosen: Safe but cruel, or risky but optimistic? We never get to find out what was going through his mind at that exact moment, only in the aftermath.

And of course, this is all underscored by the dramatic irony of what this will eventually lead to. The group decides against inaction, but by their actions, they will commit a horror upon David arguably just as bad as the Yeerks would have. Would it have been better to leave him behind and be haunted by what they didn't do, or to have tried to save him and be haunted by what they did do?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All In 11

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)

based on the winning option for this poll

Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes

Note: it's a new week

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Your phone buzzes against your leg, ripping you back to reality. Your eyes widen and drift away from the stream of font. You sit up and mark the page with your finger as you reach for the jittering cell. 

You scramble to grab onto it and hesitate to hit the big green button. The screen doesn't look like usual, not that you get many calls. You tap the button and the image changes at once, Bucky startling you as he appears. 

"Hey, doll," he grins and winks at you, moving the camera to lean against something. "How's it going?" 

"Uhhhh," you drone, surprised. He can see you too. You know by the little reflection of yourself in the corner. "Hi. Fine." You put the book down with no mind to losing the page, "um, you?" 

"You busy, doll?" 

"Reading but... no." 

"Mm," he hums, "glad to see you enjoying your treats but... no pajamas?" 

He steps back and you get a view of him from waist up, the edge of a counter in the lower edge. You pout then give a sheepish smile, "sorry, I haven't... had a chance." 

"That's okay, doll, I just wanted a peek before I went to work," he undoes his shirt button by button and pulls it off, revealing his muscular torso. You gulp at the lines of his muscle along his stomach, "why don't you put them on now and give me a look." 

"Oh, uh..." you glance at the wall. It's late. You're pretty sure Roxie already left for work and your mom will probably be settling down. "Right, uh..." 

"Just want something to think of when I walk the floor," he purrs. 

"Sure, er," you nearly choke, "I'll just-- one sec." 

"I can wait, doll. I've been waiting, haven't I?" He purrs. 

You feel a pang of guilt. You place the phone down so the lens faces the ceiling and climb off the bed. He's given you a lot, too much honestly, and now you feel like you owe him. It isn't fair to take his kindness without anything in return. And he isn't asking much, is he? 

You dig in the bag, the crinkle loud as the only other noise is the subtle movement from his end. You fish out the soft pajamas and peer over, making certain the phone is still flat. You change far away from it, paranoid. 

You look down at yourself in the tank and shorts. Oh gosh. It's a lot less than you usually wear. Your legs are showing, your shoulders, and a bit of your tummy. 

"Doll?" He says and you flinch. 

"I don't know... I don't think it fits." 

"I'm sure it fits just nice," he insists, "show me." 

"Oh, uh..." 

"I'm just looking, doll, I'll only think of what I really wanna do," he snickers. 

You cross back to the bed and pick up the phone, careful to stay out of view. You turn back and prop it up on the dresser, overly aware of the unflattering angle as you do. You give a wide-eyed look and back up so you're all in frame.  

You hug yourself shyly and sway. 

"Let me see ya," he orders. 

You put your arms straight and notice how he leans in to look at the screen, smoothing his hair back. He keeps his hands over his dark strands and growls. A flutter starts in your stomach. 

"What do you mean too small? That fits your perfect," he says. 

"I... really?" 

"Sure, doll," he turns and you realise he's getting ready.  

He combs his hair stands straight. He grabs a new shirt and buttons it as he peeks again. You near the camera and move it so he can only see your face.  

"Damn, doll, I'm gonna be all over the place," he says, "you're so sweet and sexy." 

"Bucky," you squeak.  

"I don't lie. That's the one thing you should know about me. I will always let you know exactly what I want." 

You blush hotly and a tap on the door nearly makes you drop the phone. You hide it behind you and shuffle closer. You clear your throat. 

"Uh, yeah?" You call through. 

"Hey, honey, everything okay in there?" She asks. Shoot, she must have heard you. 

"I'm watching something," your heart hammers, "sorry, I'll turn it down."

"It's alright, honey. Just thought I heard you..."

"No, just a show," you wisp out.

You quickly back away and go as far from the door as you can. You look down at the phone as Bucky tucks in his shirt. Ugh, that was embarrassing. He heard all that; surely he must realise how lame you are. 

"Mom sounds real sweet," he says, "must be where you get it." 

"She's working tomorrow. Don't wanna keep her up," you explain quietly. 

"That's too bad, doll. I'll just have to keep waiting... wanting," he shrugs and pulls on a dark jacket, "what do ya think? Look good?" 

He poses for the camera. He looks great, as always. You feel smaller than ever. 

"Yes," you answer softly. 

"Yes? That's it?" He sounds disappointed. 

"Very handsome," you eke out. 

"Handsome?" He squints as he picks up the phone. 

"Er," you search your repertoire and borrow from his, "sexy?" 

"Are you asking or telling me?" He chuckles. 

You giggle. You don't think you've ever told anyone they are sexy. You've never been that bold. 

"Yes." 

"Yes?" He laughs. 

"You're, er, oh, sexy," you touch your hot cheek and look away. 

"You are adorable, doll," he growls, "that's exactly what I need to hear." He grazes his fingertips over his beard, "unfortunately I gotta get on it so... tomorrow." 

"Tomorrow," you confirm. 

"Don't worry about a thing, doll, just bring your gorgeous self." 

🃏

The next day is restless. It's worse having hours to wait around for... what? You don't know. 

You spend your time reading, or trying to. Breakfast is small, what your roiling stomach can handle, and you put on an outfit that you think is acceptable, not that you have much to choose from. It might be strange if your mom or Roxie notice the lack of uniform. You could say you change at work? 

Ugh, lie after lie. It's all so much.  

You don't get very far in the book and your phone buzzes, a reminder from Bucky that your fate is coming. You grab your purse and sit out on the stoop, the sunlight beaming down. It would be a nice say if you were so damn uptight. 

Merv pulls up in the sleek luxury car and you get up, checking over your shoulder to see if there's any curious tug on the curtain. Your mom's already at work but Roxie is puttering around somewhere. She could be sleeping or not. 

Merv gets out to greet you. He opens the door and you thank him. He sits in the driver's seat and Springsteen drones from the radio. You smile as he shifts into gear. 

"I know this one," you say. 

"Of course, a classic," he praises. "And how are you today, miss?" 

"Good, you, sir?" 

He laughs as he steers, "very good, miss. And how could I not be." He peeks at you in the rear view, "with sunshine in my backseat." 

You smile bashfully and cross your legs. You can't help the shake in your foot. You're more and more nervous with each second and turn of the wheel. 

As if noticing your unease, he turns up the music, "I like this one too." 

You sigh and ease into the drumbeat. The tempo keeps your heartbeat in check. You're thankful for his subtle comfort. 

You turn to watch through the tinted windows. You never noticed how scenic this city is. You never went many places to have the chance. 

He keeps the volume up and you let it carry you through the long journey across the city. He pulls up to the casino and steers around to the hotel entrance. You peer through then back at him in confusion. He turns the knob down. 

"Mr. Barnes says to give your name at the desk," Merv instructs, "have a good day." 

"Thanks, you too," you unbuckle the seat belt and sidle across to the door. 

You get out with reticence. Staring up at the grand facade, you're more unsure than you've ever been. You've come this far, you have to keep going. You really have no choice as Merv slowly rolls away.  

You step forward. It doesn't get easier the further you get. Your pulse hammers behind your ear as you enter the lobby and a flash of deja vu overcomes you. That night with Roxie, the morning after, and everything since. How does it all feel as if it happened so fast and yet so long ago? 

You go to the desk, feeling entirely out of place. What if Merv is wrong and you shouldn't be there? What if they just look at you and laugh? No choice, keep going. 

You stop on the other side of the desk and give a stiff smile. 

"Hello, welcome, checking in?" The modelesque concierge asks. She's stunning and you're all the more self-aware. 

"Uh, I think? My name is..." 

She keeps her pristine smile in place and her eyes lights up. She doesn't even bother typing into her computer. She flits away and returns with one of little folders with the room keys inside. Oh, this is really happening. 

You thank her and slowly back away. You make a slow advance towards the elevator and wait beside a couple with their suitcases. You step on with them, avoiding a glimpse through the transparent walls.  

You unfold the folio and read the number, pushing the floor number, then stand back on your heels. You keep your eyes on the door, the motion alone making you dizzy. 

The couple gets off before you. When it's your floor, you thankfully scramble off and take a deep breath. You once more check the number and follow the hallways to your assigned suite. 

You swipe the card several times, you still don't have the hang of it. The door opens and you enter meekly. You focus on every move. Shut the door, slip the card back in the folder, put it down on the corner table. 

You look up at last and let yourself marvel at the suite as you delve further in. The smell of pollen greets you with a large bouquet of roses. The suite is huge, even bigger than last time. Two rooms just the same and a full kitchenette and spacious bathroom. You don't go onto the balcony, not wanting to test your stomach. 

You go back inside and glance over the table draped in a red tablecloth beneath the crystal vase of flowers. There's also a tray of chocolate-dipped strawberries and various colours of macarons. You've never had the delicate cookies before but you'd watch countless recipe videos, wishing on day to try them yourself. 

There's an envelope too. You take it and run your nail along the sealed flap. You open it carefully and slip out the card within. 

'Enjoy yourself, doll. I'll join you shortly. B.' 

As if on cue, there's a knock on the door. Oh gosh, you're not ready. What does he mean? Join you? You hoped for a little long before... before... 

You stand frozen but when the door doesn't open itself, you go to answer it. You slowly twist the long handle and open it just a crack. You peer around the edge and blink in confusion. 

"Hello, dahling," the woman's affectation drags out her syllables, "well look at you, how precious." 

She presses on the door and you let her force her way in. You're dumbfounded. Who the heck is she? Another long-legged beauty you can't compare too. 

"Lovely hair," she remarks as she closes the door without a care, "oh, and your skin, yes, perfect canvas..." 

"Sorry, er, I think you have the wrong room--" 

"Mr. Barnes sent me, dahling," she trills in her way, "and I see you are very much in need of my visit so let's begin. Mm, yes, I have a vision," she struts forward, a rose gold chest in her hand, "not very much, you have a natural lustre I adore." 

You retreat as she advances on you. She lifts her chest onto the chaise and flips back the lid, revealing an assortment of precisely organized palettes and tubes. You're horrified and humiliated as you realise why she's there. Maybe you aren't as pretty as Bucky keeps telling you. 

[sixpennydame]

Part Two: The Clinch

Pairing: Boxer!Choso Kamo x Fem!Reader [Jujutsu Kaisen]

Word count: 5.8k

You decide to trust Choso and he commits to helping you. But it might be more than either of you bargained for.

Author's notes: Like the Jujutsu Kaisen world, this story is set in Japan, and there is mention of yen as currency and yakuza as organized crime groups. Thank you to my beloved @littlerequiem for beta reading.

Series content/warnings: No curses AU, bare knuckle boxing, violence (in the boxing ring and out), mentions of blood and broken bones, eventual smut

Chapter content/warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT. Unprotected sex (wrap it up irl, everyone), oral sex (fem receiving), light biting, soft couple intercourse, gambling, yakuza

Part 1 / Part 3 / Series Masterlist

AO3 | Playlist

There’s rarely been a time in Choso’s life when a physical connection didn’t involve pain. 

A mother who was practically unknown to him.

A father who was as verbally manipulative as he was physically abusive.

A boxing coach whose view of encouragement was a wooden sword across Choso’s back.

The only exceptions were his three younger brothers. They’d always been his one, loving constant.

When they were little, he remembers play-wrestling with them in the house, always letting them win. Their skinny, gangly arms pinning him down, Choso laughing uncontrollably when they’d dog pile him. 

All those years, they’d only had each other to depend on.

He knew sending them to boarding school was for the best, but it didn’t make the choice any  easier. The day Choso saw them off at the train station, he pulled them into the tightest, longest hugs. 

After that, his life changed. It was lonely without his brothers, so Choso began to focus his time and attention on fighting, training, and eventually, on his matches at night. He lived as frugally as he could so he could send the money he earned to the three younger siblings so far away. How long had it been since he’d seen them? Would they even recognize him now?

Some days, Choso felt more like a machine than a man: going through the motions of his day, beating up others and getting beaten upon. But when his skin would break and the blood would flow, it made him feel alive. Sure, it was a shitty way to live, but he accepted it as his own.

And then, everything changed when he walked into your office.

Your touch was so soft that night, so gentle—when you held his head, checking for signs of concussion. 

He felt his heart race every time you pulled him close to check on his wound, or looked into his eyes and asked how he was feeling.

And when his lips finally met yours for that kiss, Choso thought he had to be dreaming. He waited for you to push him away or slap his face; but instead, you returned his kiss with the same fervor, opening your mouth, and inviting his tongue to mingle with yours, a faint taste of blood from the cut on your lip.

He practically ran down the hall after his fight, hoping to find you waiting for him. 

(You were.) 

It felt like a risk to reach his hand out to you. Would you trust him, let him protect you?

Your hand in his was all the answer he needed as you both walked to your apartment. 

On the street, the two of you now pass by anonymous faces, the night still young for those searching for a vice. Choso is alert and on edge, still coming down from that rush of adrenaline he gets when he fights, but also from the possibility that the blue-haired freak might have decided to follow you. 

“I don’t live far from here, just around this corner.”

It’s the only thing you’ve said to him since you left your office, but he can almost see the wheels in your head turning, trying to make sense of all this. Choso was trying to understand too: why he was so drawn to you, why he couldn’t get you out of his head, no matter how hard he tried.

 (But let’s face it, he hadn’t really tried that hard). 

Sure, there was so much he still didn’t know about you, but he could feel you opening up to him, little by little. You seemed so strong but delicate, serious and sad. Besides his brothers, he’d never cared much for anyone else, but now…

….All that was starting to change.

A card key beeps and the door to a dingy brick building clicks open. You let go of his hand as you start walking up a narrow, stuffy stairwell, the sound of your shoes scraping against the concrete. When you get to the third floor, you turn and walk down a dimly-lit hallway. 

Keys jingle, the door creaks open, and you take three steps inside, but Choso stays just outside the doorway.

You’re home safe, like he wanted, and it’s late. He should say goodnight, walk down those stairs, and head back to his place. 

But then you turn to him.

”You wanna come in?”

His body suddenly won’t move.

”Just for a moment?” you add.

“Y-yeah,” he says, crossing the threshold tentatively, as if you might change your mind at any minute. 

It’s a small, one-room apartment, with a bed in one corner and a cafe table in the other. The space is neat and tidy, but bare of any personal touches: no pictures of friends hanging on the refrigerator, no trinkets or knick knacks. There’s nothing that connects you to anyone or anything, as if you are just passing through.

”You want a beer?” you ask as you walk over to the refrigerator.  

“Sure.”

You hand him the can and he sits at your table while you situate yourself on the bed across from him. 

You’re not quite sure why you invited him in; all you know is that you didn’t want him to leave just yet. You’d been debating on what you’d do when you got to your place, and now he’s here, drinking his beer, with eyes keenly focused on you. You take a drink as silence fills the room until Choso says your name, softly.

”What’s going on? Why did that man hit you?” 

You hesitate. “It’s a long story.” 

“I figured that.”

“When I tell you, you’ll think differently of me.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that for myself.”

When you shift uncomfortably, Choso closes the gap between you and sits on the bed. He places a hand on your thigh.

“You can trust me.”

How long had it been since you’d actually trusted someone’s word? Perhaps it was finally time to open up to someone, and Choso seemed willing to listen without judgment. The burden had been heavy for so long.

“My father is a gambler,” you start, your eyes cast down and your hands folded in your lap, picking nervously at your nails. “But not just casually. It’s a compulsion for him. Been that way ever since I was young. He was constantly selling things in the house to pay his debts and sometimes, he’d be gone for days at a time. My mother and I often wondered if he’d ever come back; if the loan sharks he’d borrowed money from had finally come to collect.”

A complicated family life. Choso could understand that. 

“I left the house as soon as I could and went to university to become a doctor. I promised myself I’d leave my nightmare of a family behind and only rely on myself. But turns out, that’s easier said than done.”

You swallow, thinking of how to phrase the rest of your story. “I was in the first year of my doctor’s residency when my father showed up at my apartment. He said he owed ‘some bad people’ millions of yen in unpaid loans. Of course he didn’t have the money, so he came to me.”

“Your father expected you to pay off all that debt for him?” Choso interrupted.

You shake your head. “He knew I didn’t have the money on me, but since I worked at the hospital, I had access to drugs –  strong painkillers that could be sold on the black market. He begged me, said they were gonna kill him if he didn’t start paying them. I saw the fear in his eyes – I knew what he was saying was true. And yeah, he was a shitty father, but I couldn’t just let him be killed. His life weighed on my conscience. So I agreed to help him. I started stealing drugs from the hospital and giving them to the organization that was threatening my father.”

“You started working for the yakuza?”

You shift uncomfortably. “Yes.”

“Instead of just making your father sell it?”

“I couldn’t trust him with that kind of thing. If I was going to do this, then I was going to deal with the group directly. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I told myself that it was for a good reason. That surely after this, he’d change his ways. For a while, I actually thought it was all gonna work out.”

“But…” Choso can feel the climax of this story.

“But the hospital found out. They wanted to keep it quiet and avoid any bad press, so they silently let me go. I should consider myself lucky, I guess, but it’ll be impossible for me to be a licensed doctor now.”

“And that’s why you’re working at the arena?”

“I had nowhere else to go and still had so much money to pay off. The organization runs this arena - What else could I do?” 

Choso can see tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes, but you quickly wipe them away.

It surprises you, how much you’ve allowed yourself to say to this man you’ve only known for a week. Long-guarded family secrets seem to flow faster than you’d realized was possible and hearing it out loud makes you feel even worse.

“I’ve resented my father for so long, but in the end, I’m just like him. Just some worthless piece of shit.”

“That’s not true.”

Choso’s large hand moves from your thigh to your hand, squeezing it gently. “You did what you thought you needed to do. You were put in an impossible situation. But we are not our fathers.”

“We?” you say, a puzzled look on your face.

Choso blinks, looking down. “My father is a terrible person. He was manipulative and abusive to my mother, me, and my brothers, although I took most of the physical blows. I remember just lying in my bed and wanting to kill him. And then he just…disappeared, and left me and my brothers to fend for ourselves.”

Choso struggles to continue, and so you give his hand a squeeze.

“I try to be a good brother, and a good man, but there’s this anger, deep inside me. And I’m scared that I might become just like him. Like it’s some kind of curse.”

He turns to look at you. “But I know I have to be better, for the sake of my brothers. I’ve made a lot of mistakes because I had no one to guide me; but I’m not gonna let that happen to them. That’s what keeps me going.”

That large hand now suddenly feels hot and sweaty in yours. Choso sighs.

“There’s just one thing.”

At that, your brow furrows. “What’s that?”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you stitched me up that night. It’s starting to become a bit of a problem.” His words make you chuckle. “Seriously, I thought I was gonna have to get beaten up every fight to ever get near you again.” 

Choso feels your hand squeeze his again, just a bit. You look up at him with your sad eyes and he can’t help but move closer. 

“You have no idea what you do to me..” he confesses.

Then he says your name in that low voice you’ve come to yearn for. 

“Choso…you don’t know what you’re saying. I’m no good for you.”

“Good…bad…I don’t care about any of that.” His body is now shifted even closer. “All I know is I want you. All of you. The good and the bad.”

The words you want to say to him hang just on the tip of your tongue:

I feel the same.

I want you, Choso.

But you’ve never been good with words. They’re too permanent, too binding. They create promises no one can ever keep.

Instead, you busy your lips by pressing them against his. You don’t notice his eyes going wide, as if he wasn’t expecting this to really happen. But it doesn’t take long for him to pull you closer, meeting your anxious kiss with his own determined energy.

Perhaps a little too determined, as the eagerness of his kisses press too hard on the cut on your lower lip. You suck in a breath and pull back, noticing that the wound has reopened.

Choso immediately cups your cheek. “I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” 

“No, no, it’s fine. Just a bit tender.”

Choso stands up, takes your hand, and leads you to your bathroom. Closet-sized, the two of you barely fit, but Choso doesn’t seem to notice as he immediately grabs a washrag and wets it.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Taking care of you, for a change. Now keep still.”

He gently and deliberately dabs the washcloth on your swollen lip. His brow is furrowed and his eyes serious, and it gives you this flutter in your heart; a heart that for so long has known only the sting of pain, loss, and disappointment. Suddenly there’s a desire within you to experience more of this new feeling.

You place your hand on top of his and pull it away from your lip, then lightly kiss the corner of his mouth. One kiss is followed by another, then you start moving down his jaw to his neck - slow, sensuous kisses that make his breath hitch. Lips parted, your tongue draws in the salty taste of his skin, and as you move further down, you feel the beating of his pulse.

Choso can barely contain himself. His hands move under your shirt, cupping your breasts over your bra. When he hears your hum of approval, he pulls the shirt up and over your head.

His eyes rove over your collarbone and bare chest, where skin meets the cotton of your bralette. It’s now his lips exploring your neck and chest as he pushes you against the sink. You try to adjust, but the space is too cramped, so you pull away from him.

Choso’s face contorts in concern. “Did I hurt you again?”

But you’ve completely forgotten about your injured lip as you push him out of the bathroom and toward your bed. Getting the gist, he moves backwards, bumping into the table and chairs as he pulls off his sweatshirt, then t-shirt, and finally his pants.

It’s clumsy and awkward, but both of you smile between kisses as you grope and pull at the other’s clothing. You even laugh a little when Choso stubs his toe on the edge of your bed as he unhooks your bra. 

It’s as if the heaviness of the night has been lifted away and all that’s left is the dark-haired man before you. Choso. He stands over you now in only his underwear, his chiseled chest and abs marked with scars and bruises. Black hair leads lower down, disappearing beneath the waistband of his underwear, his growing arousal evident.

He looks over you as you lay on the bed with his shy smile, only to be replaced by something more serious.

The small bed creaks as he positions himself over you. 

“Is this ok?”

“More than ok,” you reply, attempting to keep calm but unable to hide the nervousness in your voice. Your very core is screaming to be consumed by this man, but this feeling of desire is so new and unknown. To be so vulnerable with someone - physically and emotionally - is territory you’ve rarely explored, if ever.

His dark eyes seem to look through any walls you’ve built up around yourself. You look away to avert his gaze, your cheeks burning.

“…it’s just…it’s been a while and I…”

Choso can’t help but smile. He cages you in with his arms and moves close to your ear.

“I told you, I’m taking care of you tonight. Will you let me do that?” he asks, before his lips start moving down your neck, then your chest. The trail of kisses make it to your breasts, his tongue flicking one nipple while his fingers pinch the other. Your eyes meet and you nod.

“Yes…” you breathlessly reply.

With that answer you see a change in him: a spark in his eyes that wasn’t there before. It makes your heart pound even faster. 

His mouth moves even further down, stopping just as he reaches your core. By now your whole body is shaking in expectation and desire. 

Choso doesn’t contain the growl that escapes his mouth when he pulls down your underwear. He has to taste you, to feel your heat, but he also wants to take it slow, to make sure you’re completely satisfied. 

So instead of diving between your legs, he lifts one up, resting it on his shoulder before kissing along your calf. When he reaches your inner thighs, the light kisses turn to biting and sucking, which elicits a moan from your lips. Choso stops and smirks against your soft flesh.

“You like that, huh? I’ll remember that.”

Choso has never been one for studying or books, but he knows how to read people and the subtle tells their eyes and body give. Years of fighting in and out of the boxing ring taught him that when facing an opponent for the first time, you have to test out the waters - find their weak and strong points, and what gives you the better advantage.

He’s not in the ring right now, and you’re not his opponent, but he is studying your body, taking note of every twitch, listening to every sigh and moan. By the time he’s made it to your upper thigh, leaving kiss marks along the way, your breath has sped up and the leg hitched on his shoulder is pulling him closer to his intended goal.

“Choso, please…”

It doesn’t take a genius to know what you want.

And so he moves to your center, starting with a gentle lick at your folds. You’re so wet and you taste so good, it compels him to keep going, his tongue moving around your clit, your moans getting louder. Each moment you get wetter and wetter, and he’s lapping it all up like a man dying of thirst. When your hands grip his hair and your hips start bucking into his mouth, he knows you’re close.

Hell, he’s about to cum just from your moans alone. He begins to rut his hips against the bed, to temporarily appease his aching cock.

Because no matter what he wants right now, it’s your pleasure that comes first tonight.

It’s been a while since you’ve been sexually intimate with anyone, but you can’t remember anyone ever eating you out this good. The way he moves against your swollen clit has you seeing stars, and you find yourself moaning his name, begging for more before he finally plunges his tongue deep inside you. Your hips now move of their own accord, desperate to reach that sweet orgasm that you know he can give you. 

When it finally comes, you can barely think straight. A warmth from deep within your core begins to radiate through your whole body, making your legs tremble. You buck against his mouth one final time before you finally release the grip you have on his dark locks. 

“Shit,” is all you can manage to say at the moment.

Choso sits up on his haunches, a smirk on his face as he sees you blissed out beneath him. His hands on your quivering thighs, he rubs them up and down, reveling in the softness of your skin. Your body spread out before him like this, he’s never seen a more beautiful sight in his entire life. 

“I’m not finished yet,” he says as he pushes his underwear down, his hard cock springing free. Precum drips down his hand as he grips his girth and pumps once, then twice, before leaning over to align with your center. He searches your face for any objection; when he sees none, he pushes in.

Choso isn’t religious, but he swears he sees god in that moment. Your warm, wet walls envelop him so fully that he has to take a moment just to be able to think straight. 

“Ah…you’re…so…tight…”

He says each word with a thrust, each one deeper and harder than the next. Eventually, your body adjusts to his size and he moves faster, his abs flexing with the movement. Sweat from his chest drops down on your stomach as he pushes even deeper.

“Choso!” You cry out as your arms pull him against you. Again and again he buries his cock in you with an intense, steady rhythm. 

“Mmmm….you feel so good…” 

Choso takes both your legs and hitches them over his shoulders and as he pushes in, you cry out. His cock is deep now, hitting that place inside you that makes you arch your back in ecstasy. 

“Don’t stop…” you plead.

“I won’t…” he answers, “…I can’t…”

He lifts you up to sitting and you both look at each other, breathless and sweat-drenched, his black hair sticking to his neck and forehead. Neither of you seem to be able to form coherent words, so instead, you press your foreheads together. The brief pause allows you to catch your breath and in that moment you have a realization:

The stream of negative thoughts that constantly bombard your brain have stopped. Years of having to rely on yourself had forced you to always be thinking two or three steps ahead, but right now, there’s only this moment with Choso. You take a deep breath and even the air in your lungs feels different. 

He leans back slightly and you begin to move your hips, riding his cock as the two of you grind against each other. It’s all too much and not enough - his body as it moves with yours, his staggered breaths. You never want it to end.

Then you feel that tell-tale flutter building up inside you as your second orgasm releases in a spectacular climax; the sensation has you holding onto his neck as if your life depended on it.

When Choso feels you clenching around his cock, it takes everything within him not to cum right at that moment. He barely lays you back down before he pulls out, his warm seed releasing onto your stomach.

You’re shaking, holding onto him just as tightly as you were moments before.

“Choso…Choso…” you whisper his name in the dark.

“I’m here…” is his quiet reply, “…I’m not going anywhere.”

—— 

The two of you lie on your bed, exhausted and completely spent. You stare up at the ceiling and he does the same, both expectantly waiting on the other to say or do something. 

Choso breaks the silence first.

“Use me,” he says.

“What?”

“Make wagers on my fights. Let’s beat them at their own game.”

You’re quiet, contemplative. Surely he’s joking.

When you make no reply, he continues to press the issue. “I’ll win for you. Every time.”

”You can’t guarantee that,” you counter.

”Yes, I can.” 

You sit up in bed and gather the sheets around you, your back facing him. 

“I’m not going to pull you into my shit. It’s my burden to bear.”

There’s a shifting and you can feel him directly behind you. 

“I figured you’d say that. But I’m winning, regardless. You might as well make money off of it.”

Your mind weighs all the possibilities that this could go wrong. What if he doesn’t win and you get deeper in debt? What if the organization finds out you’ve partnered with him?” 

But at this point, what other choices did you have? 

There’s a warm, strong hand on your bare shoulder.

“You can trust me,” he says, his voice resolute.

There’s that word again. Trust. But trust takes time, and you barely know him. It’s a gamble, in every sense of the word; a gamble you’re not sure you should take.

 As you turn to face him you can see that he’s already looking at you expectantly. 

“I can tell you how much to wager based on who I’m fighting. This can work.”

Your father had always said that a gamble always takes a little bit of faith. Perhaps it’s time to test that theory. And from the look in Choso’s eyes, you can tell that he’s not giving up on this idea any time soon.

“Ok. Let’s try it,” you concede, before he pulls you back down and into his arms.

——

The following day you walk to the bookie’s office alone. You both knew it would be too risky going together, so he prepped you on what to say.

“My next fight is in a week against a man named Naoya Zenin,” he instructed. “You can earn more by placing a bet on exactly when I can bring him down, so wager that it’ll be a knock out in the third round.”

Choso spends the rest of the week training in the evenings while you work at the clinic; but in that dark time between night and morning, when you take care of  the last injured fighter and lock your office door, there he is, waiting for you without fail. You walk past one of the custodians who is sweeping away scraps of betting tickets that litter the floor, while another is mopping blood off the ring. When you finally make it outside you see him standing, soldier-like, just outside the entrance.

He insists on walking you home every night. “For your safety,” he says, “Just to make sure no one is following you.” But the two of you barely make it through the door before you’re both pulling off each other’s clothes and fucking on your tiny bed, or against the kitchen counter, or over the table. 

It feels good, being fucked senseless by this man you barely know, letting all your cares and worries wash away with each climax he gives you. You’re certain he feels the same way just by the way he acts around you: protective and gentle, as if you’re the most precious thing in the world. 

But you know it can’t last;  It is a transactional relationship, after all, a means to an end. You and he are both getting something out of this that the other needs, and that’s all there is to it. 

By the end of the week, the muscles in your thighs and ass are aching and you wonder if Choso’s body is just as sore from the sexual exploits. Probably not - he is an athlete in peak physical condition, after all.

He tapes up his hands as you busy yourself in your clinic. The week passed more quickly than you thought it would, and now, it’s time to see if Choso’s plan will actually work.

“Are you going to watch the fight?” he asks as he finishes wrapping his hands.

“I wasn’t planning to.”

“Why not?” He walks over to caress your cheek. “Are you worried I’ll get hurt?”

“No,” you reply curtly, turning away from him in an attempt to avoid his gaze. “I’ll just be busy with the fighters before you.”

”Yeah, yeah.” He chuckles as he wraps his arms around you. “Just admit you’re concerned about me.”

You want to melt into his arms, like you do every night, but your nerves are on edge. You’d wagered over half your savings on this fight, and putting this amount of trust in someone else’s abilities was something you were still getting used to. 

(Choso’s welfare was also heavy on your mind, but you weren’t about to tell him that.)

“I’m just concerned about my money, is all.”

“Both me and your money will be coming back to you safe and sound,” he assures, putting his head on your shoulder, “Just listen for the third round bell.”

When he leaves your office, you don’t look back.

There’s a heavy stream of injured fighters into your office that night, just as you thought there would be, but through the stitching and wrapping, you hear the first round bell ring for Choso’s fight.

He’ll be fine, you tell yourself. 

But as the second round starts, you’re rushing to the arena.

It looks like Naoya Zenin was able to get some hits in on Choso - a punch to his cheek and a hit to the ribs - but from the bruising on his forearms and biceps, it seems that Choso has been able to deflect most of his opponent’s attacks. Zenin, on the other hand, has a swollen eye and cheek, which you know must be messing with his depth perception. The young man barrels towards Choso, putting his arms around his chest. 

“What’s he doing?” You don’t realize that you’ve asked this out loud.

An old man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth answers. “Zenin is using a clinch against Choso, trying to slow down the action and keep him from punching. It’s a desperate move on his part.”

Zenin holds on tightly to Choso until a referee shows to break it up. Almost immediately after that, the bell rings for the end of the round.

Both fighters go to their respective corners while a bikini-clad woman walks across the ring to announce the third round.  When the bells ring again, Choso is already up and making his way toward his opponent’s corner. He punches Zenin hard in the nose and the young man stumbles back, but before he can gain composure, Choso hits him with an uppercut that brings him to the ground.

“Winner!” The referee says, taking Choso by the arm and raising it high in the air. 

A knockout in the third round, just as he’d said.

That night, after bandaging Choso’s ribs and icing his cheek, you both go to collect your first winnings.

It’s now a set routine: every week or two, you place a bet in Choso’s favor and every week he takes down another opponent. Sometimes he’s covered in blood just like he was the first time you met him; other times, it’s only a few bruises. But no matter what condition he’s in, he always comes home with you. In fact, he’s practically moved in at this point. His clothes are nestled in your chest of drawers and his toothbrush is right next to yours. It’s a strange kind of domesticity neither of you expected.

Week after week goes by, and by the third month, Choso is still undefeated. His fights are now the headliners of every match night, and wager rates soar in his favor. You still refuse to watch the fights, but you can hear the crowd cheer his name as every opponent meets the same end.

”Blood thirsty.”  “Relentless.” 

That’s what they call him.

It’s hard for you to believe they’re referring to the same man who stays with you every night; that the strong hands that just brought a man close to death are now gently cupping your breasts, or positioning your hips on top of him. He loved it when you took control and rode his face or his cock, and was always eager to please you.

You keep telling yourself that it’s the sex that always brings him back to your place every night, or that keeps him fighting for you, but when those deep, dark eyes look into yours, you know it’s more than that.

And something changes  in your heart as well; you feel empty when he’s away, or when he can’t come home with you right after a fight. Your stomach drops when an opponent gets a good hit in. 

Perhaps this isn’t  transactional for you anymore.

——

The next night, as another night of fights comes to an end, you hear the door to your office open.

“I’m closing up,” you say as you put away your instruments.

“Just here for your monthly payment,” the blue-haired man called Mahito says, leaning against the entrance to your clinic.

With a sigh, you reach up into your cabinet, take out a small bag, and throw it at his feet.

“Here you go. Now get out.”

”Tsk tsk, all these months and you still treat me so coldly. We should be friends by now.” He opens up the bag to see the bills stashed neatly inside. “Wow, another big payment. Miss Doctor. You certainly are lucky these days. Did a rich aunt die or something?” 

“You’re getting your money aren’t you? That’s all you should care about.”

Mahito smiles a toothy grin that makes your skin crawl. “But you’re also our precious employee. I’d hate to hear that you’ve gotten into more trouble.” He slinks towards you and you move backwards, hitting the edge of an examination table. He picks up a piece of your hair and lets his fingers move through it. “Maybe you’re becoming just like your father, huh?”

“Get away from her.”

Choso stands at the entrance, hands in fists and bracing to attack.

Like a child that’s suddenly interested in a new toy, Mahito turns from you and walks towards your lover. “Ha! Like a dog to a whistle! Just the person I wanted to see. Walk with me, Choso.”

The two men walk down the hall and amongst the crowd exiting the arena for the night. Of all the men that Choso has fought these past months, he’s never wanted to beat someone to a pulp more than the man next to him. Mahito is slight of build with wide, child-like expressions, but one look in his eyes and Choso knows that this bastard has killed others just for the enjoyment of it. He’d love to smash that smug face in.

“What do you want?” Choso asks coldly.

“I have a proposition for you. One that could solve all of Miss Doctor’s problems.” 

Mahito stops to see if Choso will react. When he doesn’t, he continues. “We want to set up a fight. A big one.” Mahito’s eyes glance towards the man walking beside him. “With you and Ryomen Sukuna.”

That stops Choso in his tracks. “Sukuna’s out of prison?”

“He is indeed. Seems that they couldn’t get that manslaughter conviction to stick because of some kind of legal error.” Mahito smirks devilishly. “And he’s ready for a comeback. What do you say?”

“What does this have to do with her?”

“Oh come on…you think we don’t know that you’ve been helping her place bets on your fights?” He laughs and it makes Choso’s skin crawl. “I must admit, it is rather romantic, and it’s made your popularity soar these past few months. But it’s time for both of you to remember who you really work for.”

Now outside, Mahito takes out a cigarette, lights it, and takes a long drag as if he has all the time in the world. Choso just wants this conversation to be over with.

“Do this fight, and Miss Doctor can consider her father’s debts paid in full, with our thanks.”

Choso’s instincts tell him there’s more to this plan. “What’s the catch?”

A sinister smile crawls across Mahito’s face. 

“You have to lose.”

Part 1 / Part 3 / Series Masterlist

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