#Only at the start of their careers but STILL

[theonottsbxtch]

BABY, BABY | MV1

an: max verstappen you are a four time world champion!!! here's a little fic to celebrate that. i started writing it while watching the race, then had to mourn the loss of the battle then went back to writing it and my back hurts because my posture is shit. anyway enjoy!!

wc: 3.3k

Max Verstappen lived for speed. The roar of the engine, the blur of the track, the thunderous applause of the crowd—this was his kingdom. At twenty-seven, he was already a legend, a three-time Formula One World Champion whose name was etched into the annals of the sport. And this season? It was shaping up to be another triumph. Four wins in the first five races, podium finishes for all of them, and whispers in the paddock that he was untouchable.

He had every reason to be confident. The car was a beast—precision-engineered, relentless in its power. His team was operating like clockwork, every pit stop a perfectly executed ballet. But above all, she was there. His fiancée. She didn’t need to speak to make her presence known; her calm, unwavering gaze from the paddock was like a talisman. He could feel her watching, believing in him, and it drove him forward.

After his most recent victory in Japan, he leaned against the garage wall, sweat still beading on his forehead. She approached him, her smile soft and private, meant just for him. The cameras flashed around them, capturing their moment, but he hardly noticed.

“You’re unstoppable,” she murmured, low enough that only he could hear.

“For you? Always,” he replied, brushing a gloved hand over her cheek before he was whisked away to interviews.

Everything was perfect. The season was his to lose, and he had no intention of letting that happen.

Six races later, the Max Verstappen that stood on the grid in Barcelona was not the same man who had claimed victory in Japan. His car was still strong, and his team still flawless. But the man behind the wheel was... distracted.

The cracks had started to show at the Monaco Grand Prix. A clumsy lock-up during qualifying left him sixth on the grid. In Hungary, he was slow off the line and struggled to match the pace of the leaders, finishing fifth.

The press was quick to pounce.

“What’s happening to Verstappen?” the headlines screamed.

Max shrugged it off, his trademark confidence still on display. “It’s the car,” he said with a wry smile after Hungary. “We’re making adjustments. It’ll come good.”

It was a convenient excuse, one his team begrudgingly accepted because of who he was. But the truth was far more complex—and far more personal.

She wasn’t here.

She hadn’t been at the last couple of races. At first, she’d said she wasn’t feeling well, and Max had brushed it off. But then the phone call came.

“I’m pregnant,” she’d whispered, her voice trembling. “I—I want to tell you in person, but I don’t think I can travel.”

In that moment, his world shifted. Joy, fear, and an overwhelming need to protect her collided in his chest. The image of her radiant on their wedding day-to-be now came with another—her cradling a newborn, their newborn. And with that came a thousand anxieties he’d never anticipated.

At every moment since, his thoughts weren’t on the track but on her. Was she eating enough? Was she getting rest? What if something went wrong, and he wasn’t there?

But no one knew. Not his team, not the press, not even his closest rivals. To them, Max Verstappen was still the king of the circuit. He could never let them see otherwise.

It was lap 32 of the Hungarian Grand Prix, and Max was battling for third with Charles. The two cars screamed through the corners, inches apart, but Max hesitated. He felt it—his grip loosened, his focus wavered. For the first time in his career, he wasn’t sure he could make the move stick.

Charles darted ahead, and Max watched as the gap widened. His engineer’s voice crackled in his ear.

“Max, you’re losing time in Sector 2. What’s going on?”

“Just the car,” he lied, jaw tight. “It’s sluggish through the corners.”

He crossed the finish line in fourth. As he stepped out of the car, he pulled off his helmet, running a hand through sweat-soaked hair. The cameras were on him, the journalists waiting. But all he could think about was her.

He needed to call. To hear her voice. To know she was okay.

The season was far from over, but the battle raging within Max was one he’d never prepared for. And as he watched his championship hopes start to slip through his fingers, he knew one thing for certain: no race, no trophy, no accolade mattered more than the life he was about to build off the track.

The Belgian Grand Prix was a race Max Verstappen wanted to forget. He’d spent the entire weekend battling the car—or so he told anyone who asked. But deep down, he knew the problem wasn’t mechanical. The fault lay within himself, his mind a chaotic swirl of worry and love that refused to quiet, no matter how fast he drove.

When he was finally allowed to go back to the hotel, the first thing he wanted to do was go home. Not the sprawling apartment in Monaco that everyone assumed was his sanctuary, but the smaller, quieter house tucked away in the English countryside. The place where she was.

It was just after midnight when his car pulled into the gravel driveway. The house was dark except for the soft glow of a single lamp in the living room window. She always left it on for him. He slipped inside quietly, leaving his suitcase in the car.

She was asleep, of course. Seven months pregnant and glowing with a beauty that stole his breath even in her most unguarded moments. He found her curled on her side in their bed, one hand resting protectively over her rounded belly. Max dropped his coat on the chair and toed off his shoes before slipping into the bed beside her.

He pressed a kiss to her temple, careful not to wake her, and then rested his head gently against her belly. The warmth of her skin, the faint, rhythmic thrum of her breathing, and the thought of the tiny life growing inside her—it was everything he needed to feel whole again.

“Hi, little one,” he whispered, his voice soft and filled with wonder. “It’s me. I’m finally home.”

As if in response, there was a small kick against his cheek. Max grinned, a tear slipping down his face as he chuckled quietly.

“Already a fighter,” he murmured. “Just like your mum.”

Her hand came to rest in his hair, threading through the blonde strands. He startled slightly, realising she was awake, her sleepy smile illuminated by the faint moonlight streaming through the window.

“You’re back,” she said, her voice thick with drowsiness.

“Always,” he replied, turning his head to kiss her palm. “How are you feeling? How’s our little champion?”

“Both fine,” she reassured him. “We missed you.”

“I missed you more,” he said, shifting up to lie beside her, wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. His hand settled over hers on her belly, and they stayed like that for a long moment, the world outside forgotten.

The days that followed were a gift—a rare stretch of time without races, press obligations, or the relentless demands of the championship fight. They spent their mornings in the garden, her feet propped up on his lap while he read aloud from the parenting books she’d stacked on the table. Afternoons were lazy, filled with naps, quiet conversations, and the occasional moment when he leaned down to kiss her belly and whisper to their unborn child.

One evening, as they sat together on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder, she turned to him with a thoughtful look.

“You should tell them,” she said softly.

“Tell who what?” he asked, though he already knew.

“Your team. The press. Everyone.” She tilted her head, watching him carefully. “You’ve been carrying this alone for too long. They’ll understand.”

Max sighed, leaning back against the cushions and closing his eyes. “I like it like this,” he said after a moment. “It’s ours. Just ours. I don’t want them to turn this into... headlines or speculation. I want to keep it safe.”

She reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his. “You’re not just keeping it safe, love. You’re keeping it locked away. And it’s hurting you.”

He kissed her forehead, a slow, lingering gesture that spoke more than words could. “It’s not hurting me. It’s the only thing keeping me sane. When I’m out there, and it’s all chaos and noise, this is what I hold onto. You. Our little one. It’s my anchor.”

Her expression softened, and she leaned into him, her hand resting lightly on his chest. “You know I’ll support you, whatever you decide. But you don’t have to carry this alone.”

“I know,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her hair. “But for now, I want it to stay ours. Just a little longer.”

The break passed too quickly, as it always did, but for Max, it was enough. The air in Austin was electric. Max, back from the summer break and seemingly rejuvenated, had shown flashes of his old brilliance in the first half of the race. But a controversial move during a heated battle for second had earned him a twenty-second penalty. The disappointment was palpable.

In the press conference afterward, he faced a barrage of questions, his jaw tight as he fielded them with his usual composure. But his heart wasn’t in it. He hadn’t seen her in weeks, and the gnawing ache of being apart was beginning to wear on him.

The penalty stung less than the silence in his hotel room later that night. The upcoming triple-header—Austin, Mexico City, São Paulo—meant there’d be no chance to go home. Three weeks without her, without hearing the steady rhythm of her breathing as she slept beside him or feeling the flutter of their baby’s kicks beneath his hand. He stared at his phone for hours, tempted to call, but stopped himself. She needed rest. He could wait.

The race in São Paulo had just wrapped up. Max won, a result he should’ve been thrilled with, but all he could think about was getting back to England. The charter flight to London felt endless, the hours dragging as he stared out the window, replaying every voicemail she’d left him over the past week. Each one sounded more tired, more distant, and it made his chest tighten with unease.

When he finally arrived home, the house was eerily quiet. He dropped his bags in the hallway, calling out her name. No answer. He checked the bedroom, the nursery—they were empty. Panic began to rise as he pulled out his phone and dialled her number.

She picked up on the second ring.

“Hello?” Her voice was soft but carried an edge of exhaustion.

“Where are you?” he asked, his voice tinged with worry. “I’m home, and you’re not here.”

“I’m at my mum’s,” she replied.

“Why?” His voice dropped, laced with confusion. “What’s going on?”

There was a pause, a beat of silence that stretched too long. And then, she said it.

“I had the baby.”

The words hit him like a jolt. He froze, his breath catching in his throat. “You what?” he whispered, as though saying it louder would make it less real.

“I had the baby,” she repeated, her tone gentle, but firm. “Two weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice a mix of hurt and disbelief.

“You had a job to do, Max,” she said softly. “I didn’t want to distract you.”

“Distract me?” He ran a hand through his hair, pacing the kitchen. “You’re my family. How could you think I wouldn’t drop everything to be there?”

“I know,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “But I also know you. You’ve been carrying so much this season, and I didn’t want to add to it. You were halfway across the world, love. There was nothing you could’ve done.”

He wanted to argue, to tell her that she was wrong, that he would’ve found a way. But deep down, he understood. She was protecting him in her own way, just as he always tried to protect her.

“Is he... okay?” he asked finally, his voice softening.

“He’s perfect,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “Healthy and beautiful. I wanted to surprise you when you got home, but we needed a bit of extra help, so I came here.”

“I’m coming now,” he said immediately. “I’ll be there in an hour.”

The drive to her mother’s house felt like an eternity. When he finally pulled into the driveway, he barely remembered turning off the car before he was at the front door. Her mother greeted him with a warm smile and a quiet, “She’s upstairs.”

He took the steps two at a time, his heart pounding in his chest. When he reached the bedroom, he paused in the doorway.

She was sitting on the bed, her hair tied back loosely, her face glowing with a tired kind of happiness. And in her arms, wrapped in a soft blue blanket, was their son.

Max stepped inside slowly, his breath catching as he took in the sight. “Hi,” he said softly, his voice almost trembling.

“Hi,” she replied, smiling up at him. “Come meet him.”

He crossed the room, sitting beside her on the bed. She shifted the baby gently, placing him into Max’s waiting arms. For a moment, he could only stare.

Tiny fingers peeked out from the blanket, curling slightly as the baby let out a soft sigh. His nose, his chin—so small, so perfect.

“What’s his name?” Max asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“We agreed on Emilian,” she said, her eyes shining. “Emilian Lucian Verstappen.”

He looked up at her, his throat tight with emotion. “You gave him my name?”

“Of course,” she said, reaching out to touch his cheek. “You’re his dad. And he’s going to know how much you love him, even when you’re halfway across the world.”

Max pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. “Both of you. More than anything.”

As Emilian stirred slightly in his arms, Max smiled. He’d missed the moment of his son’s birth, something he’d carry with him always. But here, holding his son for the first time, he knew he was exactly where he needed to be.

For two precious weeks, Max stayed home. It was just him, her, and Emilian. Those days blurred into a haze of quiet moments—feeding, changing, and rocking his son to sleep. He wasn’t just a racing legend at home; he was a father, learning the delicate art of swaddling and singing lullabies off-key at three in the morning.

His fiancée was radiant, even in her moments of exhaustion. Max found himself watching her more than ever, in awe of her strength. At night, they talked in whispers, Emilian nestled between them in a bassinet. For once, the championship felt like a distant dream.

But as the days passed, reality crept back in. The Las Vegas Grand Prix was the next race and the stakes couldn’t be higher. His rival, Lando Norris, was trailing him by just a decent amount of points, but if Max bottled it, it wouldn’t go well for his title. A strong finish could secure Max his fourth championship, but it would be a fight to the very last lap.

The night before his flight to Vegas, Max sat beside her on the couch, Emilian cradled in his arms. He had spent the entire day rehearsing his pitch, trying to strike the perfect balance of persuasion and sensitivity.

“You know,” he began, his tone casual, “Vegas is going to be a big deal. Probably the biggest race of my career.”

She glanced up from her tea, raising an eyebrow. “I thought every race was the biggest of your career.”

“This is different,” he said, grinning. “If I beat Lando by a certain amount of points, I get the title. My fourth title.”

Her smile softened. “I know. And you will. You always find a way.”

He hesitated, bouncing Emilian gently as the baby dozed. “Come with me,” he said suddenly.

Her eyes widened. “Max—”

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” he cut in quickly, “and I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you could handle it. But the doctors said you’re fit to fly, right?”

“Yes, but—”

“Please,” he said, his voice earnest. “I need you there. Both of you. It’s an important race. The biggest one maybe. And I want to share it with my family.”

She hesitated, biting her lip. He could see the worry in her eyes, the motherly instinct to keep their baby safe and away from the chaos of the paddock. But then he reached for her hand.

“Win or lose, none of it matters without you. You and Emilian are everything to me. And if I do win... I want you there to celebrate. I want the world to see what really matters.”

After a long pause, she sighed, her resolve softening. “Fine. But only if you promise to keep us far away from the press circus until it’s over.”

He grinned, leaning over to kiss her. “Deal.”

The Las Vegas Grand Prix was a spectacle like no other. The bright lights, the roaring crowd, and the tension in the paddock made it a night to remember. Max felt his nerves hum as he stepped into the garage, but knowing she and Emilian were somewhere safe in the hospitality suite calmed him.

The race was brutal. Max fought tooth and nail, battling it out with Charles and Lewis in a chaotic, tire-shredding 50 laps. In the end, he crossed the line in fifth place.

For a moment, he thought it wasn’t enough. But then Christian’s voice crackled over the radio.

“Max Verstappen, you are a four-time world champion!”

Relief and joy flooded through him, and he punched the air, his voice shaking with emotion as he shouted his thanks into the radio. The garage erupted in cheers, but Max’s mind was already on her and Emilian.

As the celebrations began, he climbed out of the car, waving to the crowd before pulling off his helmet. He turned toward the pit lane and froze.

There she was, standing at the edge of the barriers, Emilian in her arms. They were both wearing ear defenders, her smile wide and proud. Emilian’s tiny shirt caught his eye, and his heart melted:

My daddy is a 4-time world champion.

He laughed, running over to them as the cameras swarmed. When he reached her, he didn’t hesitate, pulling her into a deep kiss. The crowd roared, and the cameras clicked furiously, but he didn’t care.

He looked down at his son, who blinked up at him with wide, curious eyes. Carefully, Max took him into his arms, holding him close.

“Hey, little man,” he said softly, his voice trembling with emotion. “Your daddy did it.”

Emilian gurgled in response, and Max’s grin widened.

For the first time, the world saw Max Verstappen not just as a champion, but as a father. The images of him holding his son, his fiancée beside him, spread like wildfire. The press clamoured for details, but Max ignored them, too lost in the moment to care.

“This is your victory too,” he said to her, his voice quiet. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder, her smile radiant. “We’re so proud of you.”

As the champagne sprayed and the cheers echoed around them, Max knew this was the pinnacle of his career—not the trophy, not the title, but the family he held in his arms.

the end.

[coryndoll]

plot ── tasked with interviewing actor drew starkey about his latest movie, you unintentionally steal the spotlight, leaving him blushing and lost for words under your mesmerizing gaze.

content ── reader being toooo pretty that drew is just like woah, drew being so observant ugh love him, reader not even trying to get his attention at all but ure just so alluring to him

authors note ── yea FUCK my series even tho i made that poll tbh im just so unmotivated. i saw this pic of drew n had some ideas for this lil oneshot of reader interviewing him post-premiere or something and him literally falling in love n reader noticing the little things n he becomes soheart eyes for u omg

you were a little nervous, to say the least. it was supposed to be a one-on-one interview, which somehow felt more intense than group ones with an entire cast. at least in those, the attention wasn’t entirely on you. but now? now it was just you and drew starkey, a handful of questions, and an awkwardly large camera crew standing just out of frame, watching everything. no pressure, right?

your boss had insisted that this interview focus on drew’s performance in his latest film. fair enough, but it also meant no backup—no costar to bounce off of or share the spotlight. it felt intimate in a way you weren’t entirely comfortable with, no matter how many times you’d done this. at the end of the day, it was just you sitting across from a celebrity while everyone else quietly judged your ability to hold a conversation.

you had almost turned this job down when you first started, not because of the nerves (though there were plenty) but because of the sheer vulnerability of it. still, the exposure wasn’t bad, and the paycheck? even better.

as you stepped into the room, clipboard in hand, the tension in your chest tightened just a bit. drew starkey, an actor you were only somewhat familiar with, sat casually in his chair. outer banks, hellraiser, the other zoey—you’d done your homework, skimming through his projects like your career depended on it. because, well, it kind of did. and he was . . . well, better looking in person, if that was even possible. the kind of face that made you forget you had questions to ask in the first place.

meanwhile, drew had been at this for hours. interviews were basically part of the job, but after a while, they all blended together. same questions, same conversations, just with different faces. he was tired but not miserable, holding onto the thought of dinner plans with some friends later that night.

interviews weren’t bad—he liked the connection when it happened, like the guy he was first interviewed by had laughed when he cracked a joke—but there was only so much charm drew could muster after a full day of talking about himself and the same film.

when you walked into the room, he barely glanced up at first. another assistant, probably, or someone from the crew running around to keep things moving. he didn’t pay much attention until you stopped right in front of him, introducing yourself and the network you worked for, arm extended for a handshake.

his gaze flicked to yours, and for a moment, he forgot how to move, but he pulled himself together quickly, or at least he hoped it looked that way. he shook your hand, smiling the kind of easy, practiced smile he’d perfected over the years, but there was something a little shaky in his voice when he said, “nice to meet you.”

he sat back down, reminding himself to focus. you were a professional. he was a professional. this was just another interview. but it was hard to ignore the way his heart picked up every time you looked at him like that—focused, curious, maybe even a little nervous yourself. he wasn’t sure what it was about you, but for the first time that day, he couldn’t wait for the next question.

his hand went to his earlobe almost instinctively, a nervous habit he hadn’t really noticed until now. yeah, you were . . . stunning, in the kind of way that made him feel like he should stand up straighter or check his hair. if someone had told him you were a celebrity, he wouldn’t have questioned it. but the fact that you were here to interview him? that just felt unfair.

but the interview was smooth, the kind he’d done a hundred times before. the questions were predictable again, circling around the same themes: his character, the challenges of filming, the energy on set. drew answered easily, slipping into that familiar rhythm, but every so often, his focus wavered—not on the questions, but on you.

you glanced down at your list, scanning it for the next prompt, and then back up at him with those eyes. god, those eyes. drew swore they could make anyone feel like they were the only person in the room, even though he knew there were at least ten crew members just beyond the cameras.

he noticed it, though—how bored you seemed, even if you were too professional to let it show. your smile was polite, your tone unwavering, but every now and then, you hesitated just slightly before asking him a question, like you were already tired of the script you’d been given.

and then there was him, barely able to hold eye contact. it was almost embarrassing when he caught himself smiling at you, just a small, almost shy curve of his lips, but it was enough for you to pause, tilting your head slightly as if you were studying him.

"are you okay?" you asked softly, your own lips quirking into a smile that practically knocked the wind out of him.

it was such a simple exchange, but drew could feel the heat creeping up his neck. “yeah. yeah, i’m . . . awesome,” he managed, clearing his throat and looking away for half a second before his eyes found their way back to yours. he had to play it off, had to stay professional, but the way you smiled back at him, like his answer had made your day a little brighter? it felt like a win. still, he reminded himself: there was only so much time left. you were on a clock, and he couldn’t afford to waste it, even if you made it almost too easy to get distracted.

you just laughed, accepting his answer, but the moment lingered. your smile lingered. and the questions rolled on, one after another. nothing groundbreaking, but you kept it light, adding just enough to make it feel like a conversation. drew appreciated that. but eventually, after a particularly shared laugh—he couldn’t even remember what the joke had been—he leaned in slightly, his voice carrying a hint of playful curiosity.

“okay, so what did you think about the movie?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. it caught you off guard; he could tell by the way your posture shifted, your pen stilling over your notes.

and then you started talking.

at first, it was simple—a few observations, some praise for the direction, the performances. but the more you went on, the more animated you became, your voice lifting slightly, your words flowing effortlessly. you dove deep, unraveling moments and emotions from the film like you’d been holding them in since the premiere. drew leaned back, one hand resting against his chin as he watched you, utterly mesmerized.

you talked about the subtlety of his character, how his guarded exterior felt like a shield hiding something raw and vulnerable. you mentioned the tension between the characters—the way their connection felt like a push-and-pull dance neither could fully commit to but couldn’t walk away from either. you dissected the music, the cinematography, how it all wove together like a symphony of yearning and restraint.

and the way you talked about his performance . . .

you didn’t gush, which he appreciated, but your words were thoughtful, specific. you spoke about his quiet expressions, the way he held so much in his body language—the hesitation in his glances, the way his character seemed to pull back just when you thought he’d lean in. it was like you’d been watching with a magnifying glass, picking apart moments even he hadn’t considered.

he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. not just because you liked the movie, though that didn’t hurt, but because it was you. you, sitting across from him, completely unaware of how captivating you looked while tearing apart his work in the best possible way. if someone had asked him to focus on anything other than the way you gestured, your fingers brushing lightly against the edge of your clipboard, or the way your lips curved when you spoke, he would’ve failed miserably.

drew just sat there, watching you, and he couldn’t help but smile. you weren’t just pretty—you were sharp, insightful, and clearly so much more than the routine questions your clipboard suggested.

“you’re good at this,” he said when you finally paused for a breath, and he meant it. but he couldn’t help the slight teasing edge in his tone, the way his smile softened just a little as his eyes met yours again.

[maxarchive]

Alain Prost's praise for the champion who has become his equal

If he wasn't initially keen to talk, it wasn't because he didn't want to share his place on the list of four-time F1 world champions (with Sebastian Vettel), but because he didn't have the time. Alain Prost really likes Max Verstappen and has never been reluctant to speak highly of the Dutch driver for L'Équipe. The French world champion finally agreed to give us his analysis of his 27-year-old counterpart last Sunday. Thirty minutes of Zoom interview that demonstrate the esteem, even admiration, of the 69-year-old former driver for Verstappen.

Having Verstappen as a neighbor on the prize list. Does that mean anything to you?

Yes, sincerely. I am pleased to be in such good company. Because there are only three of us with four titles, but I remember when Michael joined me and when Lewis came through. I will not forget that Fangio was the first driver to win four crowns (the Argentinian champion was crowned a fifth time). All the same, we're among a handful of names who, without sounding presumptuous (he reflects), are out of the ordinary. We're part of history. To be a four-time world champion is a kind of pride. And Max, looking back on his career, can be proud of it. He hasn't stolen any of his crowns. You can have a bit of luck, like me in 1986, but you have to know how to provoke it and then seize it. Max is not missing anything. I remember that in 2016 during his first victory I was commentating for Canal and I promised him a bright future. He didn't disappoint me. What he's already achieved is really impressive. Verstappen is clearly unique. He is not just anyone, whether it's his personality, his character or his commitment. You can love him or hate him, but he certainly doesn't leave you indifferent. Like many great champions, he's atypical.

This crown, do you think it was the hardest for him to win?

Only he can say. I don't know what his car was really worth. (He reflects.) And then we mustn't forget that highly controversial title in 2021. It's still very difficult to have an objective analysis. Frankly, both of them (Hamilton and Verstappen) deserved the title for the whole season. It was Max who won it in the conditions we all know. It was his first crown, and once again he went out and won it. It's always difficult to win your first crown. In fact, I remember very well what I said that evening in Abu Dhabi: from now on we'll see the real Verstappen. And we've seen him since then (he smiles). He's freed himself. He's erased his little mistakes and his impatience. He's become very, very strong. Coming back to this year, he's had to fight hard and I think he's shown some very fine things. A lot of confidence, a lot of serenity. Even when he complains, but he has always done it, he did it with less annoyance. That's the mark of a more accomplished champion.

You describe an extraordinary champion. Does he have any weaknesses?

At the moment, it's hard to find any. I don't know what he'll do in the future, but even in terms of communication, with all the rumours with Mercedes and the worries with Red Bull, I've found him to be very solid… He's good on all terrains. He's a very tough driver on the track, but you can't see that as a weakness.

So he'll be unbeatable next year?

Well, next year is another debate. It will be a rather special year, the last with the current ground-effect car. We've already seen a tightening of performance between different teams. Max's strength is that, in certain races, he can make the difference all by himself. And that's a big advantage for a team, and of course for the Championship. So I'd still put him as favourite next year, but now the other teams know that Red Bull is beatable.

When Vettel won his fourth crown, you were delighted because you felt he was very close to you in terms of personality. Do you think Verstappen is more on the side of Ayrton Senna?

Max has a lot in common with Ayrton, especially at the start of their careers. Today, a little less so. He has his own way of being. He's always followed his own idea, in his own way. That's why, when you get to know him a little, I think he's close to Seb or me. These are things I like about him. On the track, I find him very respectful.

Very respectful?

Yes, in his own way. He's not a cheater. You're going to talk to me about track limits. But it's the way he drives; it's an education. For him, it's the norm. The best proof is that when he's penalized, he accepts it. As always, he goes as far as he can.

Hamilton fought against Alonso or Nico Rosberg, you against Senna. Do you think he lacks high-level opponents to climb even higher in the collective imagination?

Nowadays, it's the rule not to have two drivers of the same level in a team. But Max has had to deal with Ricciardo, Gasly and Perez. After all, they're not just heats! We're talking about Grand Prix winners. You're talking about his popularity. The good thing about Max is that he's free. He doesn't cheat: he's just the way he is, following his thing. Tomorrow, he could tell you that in a month's time he's quitting, and nobody would be surprised! That's him and that's his thing. He certainly cares much less about the image he may have than many other drivers. But I think he'll be remembered as an incredibly talented driver. Very tough, of course, but his four titles are totally deserved and he's right up there at the top.

[fillinforlater]

The Archive of Smite

This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.

"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."

Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.

"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."

Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.

"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."

2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.

"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."

So no more smuts from Smite?

"99% no"

No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?

"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"

Will you ever reach those 150 fics?

"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"

Any fic you regret not writing?

"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"

Do you think you reached your initial goal?

"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."

Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?

"..."

"Never."

[iinryer]

eddie left when he was like. 19. 20. he went to war. came back different, or did he really come back at all? and then he was gone again…

if eddie left for the first time at 20 and sophia was like 14 and adriana was 9 and there was a baby in the house whenever shannon had work… and shannon was so cool. even cooler because their parents didn’t like her. she was their sister! eddie married her! she was their sister! but there was a baby in the house, for a few years. that was their little baby too! he was their nephew but they were still so young and i bet they loved him like a tiny baby brother!

(when the baby comes, adriana is almost the same age eddie was when she was born. isn’t that funny. isn’t that heartbreaking in a way you’re not old enough to understand yet.)

and then five years later eddie takes him away and and shannon is already gone and sophia is about to go to college and adriana is still only 14 years old and shes suddenly all alone for the first time ever. no older siblings. no little baby who isn’t a baby anymore. just her and her mom and her dad and her big big teenage feelings.

(she’s 14 years old and her sisterinlaw is gone and her olderbrother leaves and her nephewlittlebrother leaves and her oldersister leaves. and then the next time she sees shannon she’s in a casket. and adriana is around the age that her brother was when he went to war. and now her almostsortofsister is dead and she never said goodbye.)

and then its a decade after everyone left and she’s a few years finished with college and starting a career and she’s the age her brother was when he left for good, or so she thought, and suddenly her nephew is back and he’s a teenager now and she still doesn’t really know what happened. she’s 24 and trying to figure out her life and she remembers her big brother fighting SO hard to keep his baby who’s not a baby anymore. she heard him and their parents fight, every time, they were never quiet and she heard it all and she doesn’t know why her nephew is back and her brother isn’t and her mom just smiles and says its better this way, don’t worry. and then her brother is back too and suddenly its 10 years ago, 15 years ago, because he’s a ghost. again. and it’s different this time but somehow its the same because eddie is home but he’s not and she’s never seen so clearly how poorly it fit. she shape of the son her parents wanted. he was better at fitting inside of it, even when he was fighting with them, even when he was a ghost. he was so much better at—what she now knows is—pretending. and she realizes she never really knew her brother at all, did she. they grew up separately. he never saw her become a person and she never saw him make the same transition. they’re different now. but somehow its all the same.

if eddie was chris’ age when he met shannon and sophia was chris’ age when eddie enlisted and adriana was chris’ age when eddie and chris left for california and now chris is this age when he decided to run away from home… its the same ghost, somehow. it’s different. it will never be the same. it will never be different. who are you who were you supposed to be who did you become you were my brother and I never knew you. do i get to know you now?

thinking about eddie diaz and his little sisters and spiraling into a catastrophic depression

[cozycottagetarot]

Your Next Relationship 💖

Reading Contents ✨

Who is this person?

When will this relationship manifest?

Patreon Extended 🧁

What will the early stages be like?

Where will this relationship be in 6 months to a year?

As always this reading is for entertainment purposes only. ✨ Take only what resonates!

LINKS: Reading Masterlist | Dividers | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Patreon Masterlist | Paid Readings | Paid Readings - $10 and Under - Open 🥂

Pile 1

Who is this person?

Cards: The Hunter, The Painter rev, The Storyteller rev, King of Summer, Queen of Spring, Strength, The Wheel

For some, getting into a relationship with this person has been a long time coming! They’re someone who exudes a sense of safety and security, making it easy for you to trust them. You can bring anything to them—problems, concerns, or just a need for comfort—and they’ll make time to be there for you. This person seems to have a remarkable ability to juggle multiple responsibilities, and they carry a nurturing, almost parental energy. This quality might even help heal something deeper within you, offering a kind of emotional rejuvenation you didn’t realize you needed. They’re gentle and loving, with a depth shaped by their own resilience. It seems they’ve been through a lot, and those experiences have molded them into someone dependable and compassionate. However, they might occasionally try to shield you from their struggles, either by intentionally hiding things or unintentionally giving the impression that everything is fine. The rest of the reading could shed more light on this dynamic. It’s also possible they deal with self-esteem issues or struggle with self-doubt. Despite this, they have a focused and determined nature. When they set their sights on something, they pursue it wholeheartedly.

When will this relationship manifest?

Cards: Two of Autumn, Seven of Autumn, Nine of Summer, Nine of Winter, Ace of Summer

This relationship feels like something you’re going to manifest.

At first, it might feel like you’re working hard toward something and not seeing results. You could be juggling a lot of things at once, or maybe it happens during a time when you’ve decided to pause and take a break from all the effort you’ve been putting into other areas of your life. This pause might even be related to your career, but it doesn’t have to be about material things. It’s more about stepping back, letting things flow, and giving yourself room to just be. During this waiting period, you might unexpectedly shift your focus back to love. It may not have been something you were prioritizing, but you’ll come back to it and work through any fears or doubts you’ve been carrying. That’s when you’ll consciously decide, You know what? I’ve put in so much work elsewhere; it’s time to open myself up to love. And that’s how this relationship starts—it’s born from you choosing to welcome it (a relationship in general) into your life, even if it feels a little scary or uncertain at first. It’ll happen while you’re in a season of stillness or waiting for something else to unfold.

✨ What will the early stages be like? 👀 Will you still be together in six months—or a year? 😱 Find out in the extended reading and uncover what awaits you in the next chapter of this love story! 💖 Preview the Patreon Masterlist.

Pile 2

Who is this person?

Cards: Princess of Winter, Two of Winter, Ten of Summer, Ace of Spring, The Hunter, The Acolyte, The Sleeper, The Miser

This person seems to struggle with balancing their own needs with their sense of responsibility to others. They deeply value their friends and family and often put their loved ones' needs ahead of their own. While they don’t let people get close to them easily, once you’re in their inner circle, their loyalty is unshakable. They may have perfectionist tendencies or at least prefer having a clear plan to follow. When they decide on a goal, they focus intently and work hard to make it happen. That said, they might find it difficult to strike a balance between being considerate of others and prioritizing themselves. Curiosity is a core part of their personality—they’re always learning, exploring, or diving into something new. However, they might have a habit of repeating the same mistakes, which could be a learning curve they’re working through.

When will this relationship manifest?

Cards: The Star, The Magician, Ten of Summer, Unity, Prince of Autumn

This relationship will come into your life when things start looking up for you—like a shift in your luck or energy. If you’ve been feeling stuck or down, this is when you’ll notice things begin to align. You’ll feel lighter, more optimistic, and like the things you’ve been hoping for are finally falling into place.

It might manifest in a serendipitous way. For example, you could casually wish for something and suddenly find an opportunity or unexpected offer that fulfills it. Similarly, this relationship could come through your social circle—perhaps family, friends, or even a mentor or elder who introduces you to this person. There’s a chance you meet them during a gathering or event involving loved ones. There could also be a contrast between you two: maybe an age difference, or one of you might have more traditional values while the other is more free-spirited.

This person appears as the Prince of Autumn—someone steady, thoughtful, and deliberate. They’re cautious and like to plan things out in advance. While they may take their time opening up or committing to the relationship, it’s not because they’re uninterested. Instead, it reflects their careful and intentional nature. Once they decide they’re ready, they’ll fully invest in making it work.

✨ What will the early stages be like? 👀 Will you still be together in six months—or a year? 😱 Find out in the extended reading and uncover what awaits you in the next chapter of this love story! 💖Preview the Patreon Masterlist.

Pile 3

Who is this person?

Cards: Queen of Wands, Three of Autumn, Five of Autumn, Four of Summer, Balance, Two of Summer, The Priest (Reversed), The Aspirant, The Smith

This person might be naturally solitary or has been single for a while, preferring their own company over relying on others. They’ve been through a lot and carry a diverse set of life experiences, which makes them someone who is both interesting and wise to talk to. While they give off an independent "I don’t need anyone" vibe, they’re also incredibly personable, funny, and talented. They have a lot going for them and are quite the catch, though they might not always see it themselves. When they feel connected to their spirituality or the divine, they thrive, but when that connection wavers, they may feel off balance or even lost in their own thoughts. Overthinking and difficulty accepting setbacks are areas they might struggle with. Despite their occasional self-doubt, they’re someone who complements you well. There’s a strong potential for you two to hit it off right away, feeling like a perfect match. They bring a mix of humor, skill, and depth to the table that makes the connection exciting and meaningful.

When will this relationship manifest?

Cards: The Wheel, Nine of Autumn, The Dreamer, Eight of Autumn, Seven of Summer

It’s giving meet-cute vibes!

This relationship will likely manifest after you make a big choice to move forward with something important in your life. It feels like you’ll be embarking on a new adventure—something you’ve been working toward for a while that finally comes together. This could be related to personal development, career, or even educational pursuits, like learning a new skill or trade. Once you decide to take that leap of faith, it sets things into motion. The actual meeting could happen in a super specific or niche setting. It might be related to work, school, or an event tied to this new adventure you’re embarking on. It’s not so much the meeting itself that’s remarkable but rather the series of events leading up to it that makes it feel almost fated.

When you look back, you might feel like everything—your choices, their choices, and even setbacks—was leading up to this moment. It’ll have that "meant to be" energy, where it feels like all the puzzle pieces fell into place to bring you two together.

✨ What will the early stages be like? 👀 Will you still be together in six months—or a year? 😱 Find out in the extended reading and uncover what awaits you in the next chapter of this love story! 💖Preview the Patreon Masterlist.

[f1amour]

heyyy! can i request “i’m scared of losing you” (from angst1) with oscar piastri?

❝ i’m scared of losing you ❞ — oscar piastri

pairing | oscar piastri x reader

content warnings | lots of miscommunication, angst, comfort, happy ending

★ JOIN MY SHORT N SWEET FRIENDSGIVING !

─────────────────────────

it had been a few months since you last attended a race due to your job obligations but in oscar’s eyes he only saw it as one thing; you’ve missed him winning a race, twice now.

in his eyes he thought you may no longer love him that he wasn’t worth enough for you. however, in your eyes you believed he no longer loved you especially due to his lack of presence in your life and never asking you to join him for a race weekend in months. both of you afraid to lose each other didn’t touch on the subject and living as if everything is okay.

until it wasn’t.

“i may not win another race this season but i would appreciate your support! you weren’t there for my two wins and i…i’m tired of this,” oscar argued back, you had both gone out to dinner in monaco after he returned from singapore. it started with a sweet conversation of what to do for the break to now bitter comments towards each other.

“tired of what? of me? i’m trying, oscar. i just started my third year of university and then work—.”

“work! it’s always work this work that. they always need you for something even though it’s not even in your title to do all that! you drop everything to be there for them but you can’t be there for me not even once…baby?” his mean words hit you immediately and you sit on the couch of your apartment hands covering your face as you sob uncontrollably.

“baby, yn…hey, hey breathe with me. it’s okay i’m here” oscar whispers on your ear, both arms cradling you now. was it okay? his approach may not have been the best but he wasn’t wrong. your job had been putting too much on your plate when you were meant to just be an underpaid intern who was doing multiple jobs that were not your responsibility.

“but you aren’t here, osc. i…i know that your career is demanding but you didn’t take a second to look back and realize i ease being left behind. i feel guilty i wasn’t there for your two wins especially your first. i begged my job to let me just visit you for a day to celebrate but they made me stay. it wasn’t even my day to work and i still stayed. i chose a job that doesn’t value me over you…you do care about me maybe not right now—.”

“i’m gonna stop you right there. i’m an idiot who didn’t bother asking how you’ve been recently and expecting you to support me more when i didn’t see what you’d been going through. i’m so sorry,” he whispers, his forehead pressed against yours kissing your tears away.

you whisper out five words you’d been feeling for awhile now, “i’m scared of losing you,” closing your eyes ready for oscar to say you’ve already lost him, “i’m scared too.” his voice matches your vulnerability.

opening your eyes looking at him in shock, “you are?” you felt like you were both taking a big step in admitting this. maybe, just maybe this would help in repairing your relationship.

“i am. i think we’ve been selfish towards each other but we also haven’t communicated right. i should have asked you more about how the job was treating you-,”

“i should have asked you how the team had been treating you.” you counter back and he chuckles.

“i know you want to be independent when it comes to your career. but i think you should quit that job and focus on school only. i know you don’t want me to take care of you financially but just let me do that for now until you graduate and find a job that will value the skills you have. i can’t lose us. i can’t lose you, yn. i love you.” his words filled with nothing but love, oscar meant well and for once you decide to take him up on the offer he’d been giving you since you started dating two years ago.

“okay.” a simple word replacing your frown into a smile on each others faces. there was work to do on your communication with each other but for now you both got to breathe a sigh of relief after facing a fear that would no longer happen.

[buckiverse]

Between the Lines

☆--- paring: athlete!sylus x athlete!reader

[chapter 1/3]

☆--- summary: Sylus plays baseball, and you play softball at Linkon University. Unfortunately, both of you share the misfortune of suffering major injuries during the world championship, cutting your seasons short. With your athletic careers on hold, you and Sylus find yourselves rehabilitating together—working to rebuild not only your bodies but also your confidence in yourselves and your futures.

☆--- word count: 3.4k

☆--- warnings: murder mentioned, this is mostly world building tbh, eventual smut (not in this chapter), caleb & tara are mentioned

☆--- a/n: this story is very much me projecting, so enjoy! I was gonna make a mini vocab list type of thing, but honestly, I decided against it. But give me your thoughts guys I genuinely feel conflicted about writing a sports romance... essentially (╥_╥)

You started at Linkon University earlier in the fall. The campus was like nothing you had ever seen before, which was a high compliment from you since you grew up in the countryside. First, the sheer size of the place was enough to make you consider buying a scooter. You relocated closer to the university for your second degree, leaving behind your granny and best friend, Caleb. You understood the pains of being a commuter all too well, and for Law school, you decided not to repeat that mistake. 

It was darker now in the mornings. You took a deep breath and could smell the change in the season. You looked around and admired the change reflected on the campus. Birds flew overhead, migrating south in preparation for winter. Squirrels scaled the surrounding trees, busy working. The wind blessed your senses, the breeze blowing your hair, the crisp air causing you to sniffle from the chill. 

Warmth surrounded your body from your coat as you strolled down the paved path. Taking your time, you slowed your pace, observing the changes around you. Your favorite part was the colors that autumn brought about. It reminded you of your mother. She loved the change in season reflected by nature. 

You reached the large bulletin board stationed near the student center. From time to time, you check it out, always curious about what's going on around the school. Your gaze started from the top of the board, scanning your way down till the blue, gold, and white flier caught your eye. “Tryouts,” you said before grabbing it off the wall. “Softball tryouts.”

The clouds drew your head to the sky as you contemplated the flier. You used to enjoy playing when you were younger, but you still played occasionally. It had been a year since you’d picked up a glove. Your knee still screamed at you when the weather changed—the cold aching your old wounds. 

A signature ringtone came from your phone, distracting you from your thoughts. You opened the bag and grabbed your phone. You saw the incoming call from Caleb, “Yo, what’s up?” you said smoothly, giving the poster a one-over before folding and placing it into your bag. You resumed your steady stroll, making your way through campus.

“Hey, pip-squeak, just calling to see how’s law school going? Have you flunked out yet?” he teased. You laughed, imagining the face he was making on the other side of the phone. “No, actually, and I'm considering taking on a new hobby,” you replied smoothly. “I’m simply too efficient. I’m getting bored.” you joked, kicking a rock in your path. 

You were still adjusting to the grandeur of this campus. No matter how many months you committed here, you still needed help finding the law building. Your gaze followed the gothic architecture of the buildings. The stained glass and pointed arches got you thinking about changing your major. “And what would that be?” Caleb said, breaking through your thoughts.

“A sport,” you said. “I’ll leave you to guess which, but there are quite a few fliers around campus.” 

“Hmm, Softball?” he guessed. Your eyes opened wider as you saw the law building. Grand as this school was, this building was tucked away, but it still had a Romanesque charm. “Maybe–or maybe not, but I’ll call you later. I have a class to flunk out of,” you said. Caleb laughed at your elusiveness, “Break a leg in there.” You ended the call, climbing the steps and confirming the location for your day's first class. 

Linkon University was considered the pinnacle of achievement. It was one of the most prestigious universities in the country academically, and it also ranked among the top five for sports. Getting into Linkon for graduate school was an accomplishment and a big step toward your goals. You had dreamed of becoming a lawyer since you were a little girl. 

Opening your phone, you check the updated syllabus for your seminar class. Your eyes scanned the page, checking the topics for today's class, “Ethics and Justice,” you repeated quietly, processing the words on the page. 

To you, being a lawyer meant more than making a good living. It was about opportunity for justice. You distinctly remember the trial for your mother's murder, and the courtroom had a gloom about it. Seeing the somber mood your grandmother tried to hide from you was enough to shake your world. 

The trial began years after her passing, and you could see your grandmother trying to be strong for you. The judge called the court to rise, and the jury gave the verdict. When you heard the word guilty, a relief ran through you like no other. But, nothing could have prepared you for the following words: the sentencing of 10 years… 10 years for the lifetime of experiences stolen from you, and there was nothing you could do about it. 

You remember turning your head. Your face felt hot. Your ears were on fire, and rage ran through you–this couldn’t be right or fair. Even the feeling of your grandmother's arms enveloping you did not act as a comfort. She cradled your face, and the tears burned hot down your cheeks at the pain in your chest. 

That day, you decided to pursue law. Not just for justice, but ultimately for control, someone’s fate would lie in your hands–and you wouldn’t fail them how the prosecution failed you that day. 

The hallways of the law building were quiet as always, save for the occasional murmur of footsteps or the faint rustle of paper. Lost in thought, the memories of the sentencing racing in your mind. These days, you were reminded of your past more often than you liked to admit. 

Your eyes drifted upward to the arched ceiling, its intricate carvings like something from a history textbook. You let out a small sigh, trying to focus on the fact that you’d made it here, to Linkon, against all odds. 

And then you hit a wall.

Or, more accurately, a person. 

Your shoulder smacked against solid muscle, and the impact sent your bag sliding halfway down your arm. You stumbled back a step, muttering an apology as you adjusted your strap. “Sorry, I wasn’t—”

“Watching where you were going?” a voice cut in smoothly, tinged with amusement.

You looked up and were met with crimson eyes. Red–crimson. Like a warning sign. His smirk, paired with his annoyingly well-kept hair and that stupidly perfect posture, only made it worse. 

Your cheeks heated as you narrowed your eyes, irritation swiftly replacing your embarrassment. “Excuse me?” you said, your tone sharp.

“You should be,” he replied, the corners of his mouth twitching as if holding back a laugh. “I’d hate for you to end up injured on your first day.”

The audacity. First, it wasn’t your first day—you’d been here for months. Second, what was his problem?

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I can handle myself,” you shot back, trying to mask the faint flush creeping up your neck.

His expression didn’t falter. If anything, he looked more amused now, leaning ever so slightly closer. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You opened your mouth to fire back another retort, but he stepped aside with a casual shrug before you could. “Good luck… rookie.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving you dumbfounded and a little annoyed. Rookie?

You shook your head, forcing yourself to focus. Whoever he was, you’d already decided he was annoying. He was probably some overconfident upperclassman who thought he owned the place.

You made a mental note to avoid him, refocusing on where you needed to be. 

You didn’t have to be first in class but needed a good seat, no exceptions. You picked up the pace, focusing on where you were going this time. When you found the room, you sat down and took a second to sink into the chair to relax. 

Your mind drifted to the man you ran into. “I wonder if he's a law student,” you muttered out loud. Not that it mattered.

You shifted your attention to the topic at hand. The class was starting soon, and other graduate students had warned you plenty of times that law school differs from your first degree. You reached for the legal pad in your bag, placing it on the table. It was covered in the notes from your readings on ethics and justice. 

Distracting you from your quiet mumbles while reviewing the coursework, a shorter brown-haired woman approached you. “Is this seat taken?” she asked smoothly. She had on a hat that said ‘Linkon Lions,’ and she wore athletic wear. Her figure was highlighted by the well-fitting clothes she had on. “I’m Tara, by the way.” 

“Oh, uh–no, it’s not, I’m y/n,” you responded. “Nice to meet you!” 

She sat next to you, and class went off without any issues. After your seminar, you packed your bag silently, looking up at Tara, “Hey, I was going to go to a local coffee shop. Do you wanna come?” you asked. You didn’t know her well, but she seemed nice enough, and you had a couple of classes with her.

“Yeah, I'm down,” she said swiftly, her face scrunching into a soft smile. You both worked your way to the coffee shop, opening the door for her. The coffee shop buzzed with a low hum of conversation and the occasional clink of ceramic cups against the tables. You placed your orders, picked them up from the counter, and sat in the shop's back corner. 

You sipped your drink, enjoying the warmth as it spread through your chest. Across the small table, Tara sat back in her chair, her brown hair pulled into a low ponytail. Her eyes lit up as she laughed at some joke about law professors.

“So,” she said, setting her cup down with a soft clink. “How’s your first semester treating you so far?”

You sighed dramatically. “Oh, you know, just drowning in legal briefs and case law. The usual.”

She nodded, her expression empathetic. “Same here. First-year law classes are no joke. And I’m trying to balance it with softball, which…” She trailed off with a wry smile, “...is its own kind of chaos.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait—you play softball? At Linkon?”

Tara grinned. “Yep. I’ve got two more years of eligibility left. I was redshirted most of undergrad, but I finally got some decent playing time last season. You play?”

The question caught you off guard. You hesitated, fingers fidgeting with the edge of your coffee cup. “I used to. I mean, I was really into it my first year of undergrad. It was–kind of my escape. But I haven’t played competitively in years.”

Her brow arched, a curious smile playing on her lips. “You should come to tryouts. The team could always use good players, and walk-ons are rare but not unheard of.”

“I don’t know…” You glanced down at your drink, suddenly fascinated by the swirl of foam. “It’s been so long. I don’t even know if I’d still be good enough.”

Tara waved a hand dismissively. “Nonsense. If you loved it enough to play seriously during undergrad, it’s still in you. Muscle memory, right?”

You chuckled weakly. “Muscle memory or muscle cramping.”

She laughed, leaning forward conspiratorially. “Tell you what—if you decide to try out, I’ll help you prep. We can hit the field before tryouts get you back into the swing of things.”

“You’d do that?” you asked, surprised by her offer.

“Of course! It’s always nice to have more women on the team who know what they’re doing.” She took another sip of her coffee, a smirk curling her lips. “Besides, if you’re half as competitive in softball as you seem about law school, you’ll fit right in.”

You couldn’t help but smile. The idea of trying out still terrified you, but having someone like Tara in your corner made it feel a little less daunting. Maybe this was the push you needed.

You made your way to your hole-in-the-wall apartment. It was bad enough that you were attending a prestigious university because the cost of attendance reflected that. You strolled, allowing yourself to soak up the tranquility of your surroundings. The green of the large trees had a way of calming your senses, even if your mind felt chaotic. 

You reached the brown building, entering the back alleyway to enter the door to the apartment. You sat down on the cot on your floor, hugging your knees. You dropped your head to rest on your kneecaps, and the flier from earlier popped into your mind. It really wouldn’t hurt to try out. It’s not committing to anything long-term. 

Linkon University felt like both a new beginning and a test of endurance. Between case law briefs and endless nights of research, you wondered if chasing both your dreams was even possible. You reached for your phone, your thumb hovering over Caleb’s contact. He’d know what to say right now. You waited as your phone rang, hugging your knees tighter. 

You explained yourself to him, and you hoped he’d understand. 

“So, you’re just going to stay holed up in your apartment and overthink this, huh? Solid strategy. I’m sure the team will be super impressed by your tryout performance—live from your living room.” he said. 

You groaned, “Not now, Caleb.”

“What? I’m just saying. Sitting on your couch isn’t exactly going to help,” he said. You sat up fully, adjusting your position in the bed. “I don’t even know why I’m bothering. It’s been years since I played competitively. What if I show up and I’m terrible? What if they laugh?” What if I'm wasting my time? The fear was paralyzing. 

“Hmm. Okay, let me think. When have you ever been terrible at anything you cared about? Oh, right—never.” he replied, his tone mocking. You rolled your eyes, “You’re so dramatic.” 

“No, seriously. You’re a natural. Do you think I forgot all those times you turned impossible plays into routine outs? You could probably still crush it even if you hadn’t touched a glove in ten years.”

“I’m not the same person anymore. And what if I embarrass myself–or fail?” you responded hushedly. “It just feels like the only thing I was sure about is Law School, and now that I’m here, I’m not even sure about that.” your voice trailed off.

“Look, I get it. Things have changed. You’re not the same person.” he said softly. “You’re better. You’ve got this, okay? You’ve always had this. Just think why you wanted to try out in the first place–go to school in the first place. You love the game. You love the law. And honestly, I think you miss proving to yourself just how amazing you are.”

You leaned back on your forearms, contemplating, “I guess so…”

“Alright, here’s the deal: if you don’t go, I’ll drag you to that field, even if I have to drive from the granny’s house. And you know I’d do it.” 

You laughed softly, “You would, wouldn’t you?

“Oh, absolutely. With a megaphone. And maybe I’ll sing an encouraging song, too.” You smiled, imagining the performance now, “You’re insufferable.”

“Yeah, yeah. But I’m also right. Go out there and do your thing, okay? You owe it to yourself. And hey, if they don’t see how great you are, they don’t deserve you anyway.”

“Okay. You’re right. I’ll go.”

—

Training with Tara was quite the adjustment. You knew this might be difficult, but you didn't realize how out of shape you’d become in just a year. 

“Keep pushing. You’re almost there,” Tara said, encouraging you. You had to remind yourself ‘mind over matter,’ taking control of your actions. 

But that was easier said than done when your lungs felt like they were on fire and your mouth was starting to taste like blood… You ran another rep, reaching the orange cone at first base. You tapped the cone, finally slowing down your pace, looking to your right—practicing good habits.

“I knew I struggled with endurance—but I don’t remember it feeling that bad,” you said, kneeling over as you held onto your knees. 

“You should try the athletic center,” she said, looking at you a bit concerned. One of the coaches could give you a weight card—to build endurance gradually.” You peered up at her, pondering the request in your mind. “Not a bad idea,” you said, short of breath. 

–

Later, after you finished up with Tara, you took her advice. Finding your way to the athletic center, you walked through the double doors. Everything about this school is grand.

The ceilings expanded as tall as the length of the building. Though this part of the building was admittedly more modern, the detailed pillars caught your attention. The athletic center was separated into three parts. The first part of the floor had workout equipment, even a separate pool area at the far end of the facility. The second floor had some more equipment, some things for rock climbing, some offices, and the rehabilitation center, which was your desired destination. 

Those injured and not injured alike attended this facility area, getting advice and training from the coaches. 

The clang of weights and low chatter filled the athletic center, but the sound softened to a quieter hum as you climbed the stairs toward the rehabilitation center. You paused at the entrance, unsure if you were even supposed to be there. The space was bustling, with trainers moving between stations, clipboard in hand, and athletes stretching or working through carefully monitored exercises. 

You spotted him before he spotted you. The guy from your first day (not really)–the one you’d bumped into. His striking red eyes and sharp features made him impossible to miss, even in a room full of athletes. He was seated on a padded bench, his left arm cradled in a sling, and his expression–a mix of irritation and determination–was fixed on a trainer who appeared to be giving instructions.

What’s he doing here? You wondered.

Not wanting to be caught staring, you ducked your head and moved toward the back of the room, pretending to look for something—or someone. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you’d noticed him.

As you passed by the station closest to him, his voice stopped you in your tracks. “I told you, it's fine. I don’t need to sit out. Just tape it up, and I’ll play through it.”

The trainer sighed, his tone firm. “Sylus, we’ve been over this. You tore your rotator cuff. Playing through it isn’t an option unless you want permanent damage. I know how much the team means to you, but you’re useless to them if you can’t pitch again.”

Sylus. So that was his name.

“I don’t care if I can pitch again,” Sylus grit out, frustration sharpening his tone. “I care about being there for my team now. Missing the playoffs isn’t an option.”

The trainer crossed his arms, unmoved. “If you keep pushing yourself like this, you’ll lose more than the playoffs. You’ll lose the game altogether. Think about that, Sylus.”

There was a pause, the weight of the trainer’s words hanging heavy in the air. Sylus didn’t reply, his jaw tightening as he looked away, his fingers flexing absently on his good hand.

You ducked behind a column, heart thumping in your chest. You’d come to this school expecting greatness from everyone around you, but hearing him talk like that made you realize how much pressure everyone was under. How much he was under.

He’s not just some arrogant jerk, you thought, remembering his amused grin when you’d bumped into him. He’s carrying something heavier than he lets on.

You debated whether to say something—to let him know you’d overheard—but you shook the thought away. What would you even say? Instead, you slipped out of the rehab center, your mind racing.

As you left, you found yourself thinking of Sylus differently. He was still annoying—there was no doubt about that—but now, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of understanding. Maybe even curiosity.

[diivineangel]

“ i’m takin’ care of each and every part…i open up your legs and go straight for your heart. ”

𝓢ynopsis: hiromi’s unwavering dedication to his work has created an unspoken distance in his marriage, leaving his spouse adrift in quiet loneliness. the long hours he spends away weigh heavily on them both—his partner aches for his presence, while hiromi wrestles with guilt and the fear of losing the one he loves most. finally, driven by the need to heal what has frayed, hiromi steps away from the chaos of his career, choosing instead to rekindle their bond in the most intimate and heartfelt way.

pairing: hiromi higuruma x fem!reader

cont: desperation, smut, oral receiving, he cums inside, just general 18+ content…., mdni.

wc: 2,543

────        𝓗iromi Higuruma's job was grueling. Fighting for the innocent, defending the wrongly accused, standing tall for people who didn't deserve to be caged away—it was as noble as it was soul-crushing. The endless hours, the weight of other people's lives resting on his shoulders, the knowledge that justice wasn't always as blind as it should be—it wore him down. But this was his duty. And he bore it, even when it left him drained to the core, because someone had to.

And then, there was you.

You, who made it all feel worth it. You, who welcomed him home like a balm for his weary soul. You'd have a warm bath ready after those long, punishing days, your arms open and waiting, a soft smile that could disarm any tension. You cooked him dinners so rich, so full of care, that he felt it in his bones. Everything about you soothed him, brought him a kind of peace he never knew he needed so desperately.

And he adored you for it. He always did.

Even if his words didn't always convey it, his heart spoke it every time he looked at you. How did he get so lucky? A wife who loved him unconditionally and somehow, on top of all that, made time to praise his nose? He'd chuckle about it in the quiet moments. It was silly, but he cherished it.

But lately, something had shifted.

At work, his focus wasn't what it used to be. Oh, he was still good—too good, even, to falter in the courtroom—but his mind had started wandering in ways it never had before. Specifically, to you. And not just your smile or the way your laugh filled every corner of a room. No. It was the way you felt pressed against him. The way your lips parted when he kissed you deeper. The soft sounds you'd make when he touched you.

It hit him out of nowhere most days—a rush of heat curling through him like a flame he couldn't extinguish. It didn't help that you hadn't had much time for intimacy lately.

Work, schedules, and exhaustion had gotten in the way, but the longing hadn't gone anywhere. If anything, it had only grown stronger, festering inside him until it was a near-constant ache.

So there he was, in court, cross-examining a witness with a painful erection straining against his slacks. No one could see it, thankfully, but the sheer humiliation of it burned in his chest. He couldn't stop thinking about you—your body, your voice, the way you'd feel under him. It was almost maddening.

By the time he won the trial, he wasn't even relieved. He just needed to get home.

To you.

The moment Hiromi stepped through the door, he was in motion. Shoes off, briefcase discarded, and then he was climbing the stairs two at a time, his heart pounding like a war drum.

When he saw you, he froze for half a second. You turned to greet him, your finger booping his nose in that playful way you always did, your voice sweet and full of pride. "You looked like you worked hard again, Romi," you praised softly, smiling at him.

"Yeah, I did. Thank you," he managed, though his voice was thick with something else entirely—something raw, hungry. And soon enough he was pulling you into a hug. 

The second your body pressed against his, he nearly lost his composure. His hips shifted instinctively, the hard line of his arousal brushing against you. He inhaled sharply, his face buried in the crook of your neck. The familiar scent of you was like a drug-intoxicating, irresistible.

"You—" His voice cracked slightly as he pulled back, his gaze locking with yours. He didn't know how to explain what you did to him, the way you completely unraveled him with just a touch, a look, a word. He didn't need to. You saw it in his eyes, the raw, unspoken desire that had been simmering for weeks.

Before you could say anything, his lips crashed into yours, hungry and demanding. He lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the bed. There was no rush in his movements, though. No frantic desperation.

"I've been thinking about you all day," he confessed, his voice low and thick with want. His hands slid to your hips, his thumbs tracing slow, deliberate circles over your skin. "I'm gonna take my time with you, sweetheart, that alright?"

He didn’t even let you answer, his eager mouth moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses down your body until he was between your legs, his tongue dragging languidly over your sensitive skin. You gasped, your hands tangling in his hair as he worked you over with an almost torturous patience. His nose brushed against you, and the sound that escaped your lips made him groan against you.

"Hiromi..." His name fell from your lips in a breathless moan, your voice shaking with need. You couldn't help it-couldn't stop the way your hips instinctively bucked against him, seeking more of the unbearable bliss he was giving you. He only tightened his grip on your thighs, holding you firmly in place, his movements deliberate, maddeningly slow.

You couldn't think, couldn't focus on anything but the feel of him. His tongue moved in a steady rhythm, his nose brushing against you with every motion, and it was too much and not enough all at once. The sounds he was making-low, satisfied hums that vibrated against you— only pushed you closer to the edge, your entire body tensing as the pressure built inside you.

"P-please," you whimpered, your voice trembling as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. You were a mess—flushed, shaking, your hands fisting the sheets in desperation. You could barely form words, barely do anything but feel.

Hiromi pulled back just enough to glance up at you, his lips slick, his eyes dark and hungry. "I said I'd take my time, didn't I?" His voice was rough, filled with an almost predatory satisfaction, and it sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through you.

You opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a strangled cry as he dipped his head again, his tongue sliding into you with a deliberate, agonizing slowness. It was like he was savoring you, taking his time to unravel every part of you. And you let him—because in that moment, nothing else existed but him and the pleasure he was giving you.

Your body trembled beneath his touch, every stroke of his tongue, every soft scrape of his teeth, every teasing nuzzle of his nose sending shockwaves through you. The knot in your stomach tightened, coiling tighter and tighter until it finally snapped, a wave of euphoria crashing over you so powerful it left you gasping, tears spilling freely down your cheeks.

He didn't stop, didn't let up even as you squirmed beneath him, overstimulated and blissed out. When he finally pulled back, his lips curved into a wicked, satisfied grin, his hands still holding you steady. "You're beautiful like this," he murmured, his voice soft but filled with an unmistakable possessiveness.

And as he moved to capture your lips again, you realized you'd never felt more utterly, devastatingly his.

Hiromi leaned over you, his lips claiming yours as if they could draw every last sound of pleasure from your mouth. You could taste yourself on him—warm, intoxicating, a reminder of just how thoroughly he'd worshipped you moments ago. His hands never left your body, sliding over your trembling thighs and up to your hips, anchoring you to him like he couldn't bear even a sliver of distance between you.

The look in his eyes when he pulled back made your breath catch. It was raw, unguarded-like he was teetering on the edge of something he couldn't control. His lips were slightly parted, his breath uneven, and you could see the flush creeping up his neck, could feel the way his body radiated heat against yours.

"You don't know what you do to me," he rasped, his voice low and unsteady. His hands tightened on your hips as he ground his clothed arousal against you, the friction making you gasp. His eyes flickered shut for a moment, and a groan escaped him-deep, guttural, filled with an ache that mirrored your own.

"Baby..." you whispered, your voice soft but trembling with want. You reached for him, your fingers tracing the strong line of his jaw, the slight stubble that tickled your fingertips. He leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering open to meet yours, dark and filled with so much emotion it made your chest tighten.

"I can't stop," he admitted, almost a Whisper, as if confessing to some uncontrollable need. "You're in my head, always. Even when I'm at work, even when I'm trying to focus, it's you." He let out a shaky breath, his forehead pressing against yours. "And it drives me insane. I've been waiting—craving—this. Craving you."

The sincerity in his voice sent a wave of warmth flooding through you, your heart swelling even as your body ached for him.

You pulled him closer, your legs wrapping around his waist, and he let out a sharp exhale, his control visibly fraying at the edges.

"Then take me," you murmured, your voice barely more than a breath.

That was all it took.

His hands moved with purpose, unbuttoning his shirt with a desperate kind of urgency before shrugging it off. You couldn't help but admire him—the way his muscles tensed beneath his skin, the way his chest rose and fell as he fought to stay composed. But when he finally joined you on the bed, pressing his bare body against yours, any semblance of restraint he had left crumbled.

He kissed you again, slower this time, savoring the way your lips moved against his. His hands explored every inch of you, his touch reverent, as though he was memorizing every curve, every shiver, every little gasp you gave him. He moved against you, his arousal pressing into you with a delicious kind of pressure that had you arching against him, desperate for more.

And when he finally slid into you, the world seemed to still.

The stretch, the heat, the way he filled you so perfectly-it was overwhelming in the best possible way. You gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders as you clung to him, and he groaned low in his throat, his head dropping to the crook of your neck.

"God," he breathed, his voice strained, as if the feeling of being inside you was too much. "You're so... perfect. So warm. So —" He broke off with a sharp inhale, his hips moving slowly, deliberately, as if he wanted to make this last. But the way his body trembled against yours betrayed just how much you affected him.

Every thrust was slow, deliberate, his body pressing into yours with a rhythm that left you breathless. The friction, the heat, the intimacy—it all built into a crescendo that had you teetering on the edge of bliss once again. And from the way his breathing grew heavier, the way his groans became rougher, you knew he was right there with you.

"Hiromi... I—" Your voice cracked, your nails raking down his back as the pleasure built to an unbearable peak.

"I've got you," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice soft but thick with emotion. "Let go for me, sweetheart. Let me feel you."

And you did. Your release crashed over you in waves, your entire body trembling beneath him as your voice broke on his name. The way you tightened around him, the way you clung to him like he was your lifeline—it sent him spiraling.

With one final thrust, he buried himself deep inside you, his groan muffled against your neck as his body tensed, his release ripping through him like a tidal wave. He stayed there for a moment, his arms wrapping tightly around you, his breath hot against your skin as he came down from the high.

Neither of you spoke for a while, the silence filled only with the sound of your mingled breathing. His weight on top of you was grounding, his hands gentle as they traced lazy patterns over your skin. He lifted his head eventually, his gaze soft as he looked at you, his thumb brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.

And as you pulled him closer, your bodies still tangled together, you both knew there was nowhere else you'd rather be.

🏷️: @luv-lies @tojiseviltwin @yung-notorious @kentosmirrorball @jazzthatonewriterchick @sugoroo @lokissweater @pepperyduck @obsesssedblerd

[planetdream]

striped carnations.

characters. hwang hyunjin, reader, lee minho + special guests

genre. angst, flower shop!au. words. 5.6k

synopsis. upon hearing the news that your boyfriend is going to propose to you, hyunjin realizes that he's had feelings for you all along

fic contents: hyunjin is both a chronic overthinker and a hopeless romantic. needless pining. angst. heartbreak. talks of marriage and relationships. suggestive content: hookups; heavy make out + implied drunk sex.

💌 if you think you've seen this before, it's because you have! I deleted it like a month ago lmao....but here it is again <3

Hwang Hyunjin has always been a big fan of flowers. A flower can describe the emotions behind every pivotal moment in one’s lifetime—a wedding, a funeral, graduation, or a life-changing event—though not limited to only those situations; Hyunjin's love for, and belief in flowers reaches across all occasions and sentiments. His admiration of flowers as a whole goes beyond the smell, or how visually pleasing and/or vibrant in color they look. Flowers allow him to express feelings that he feels words simply cannot—even if no one else around him understands it in the way he does. Hyunjin loves flowers because of the stories you can tell with them, and thus, he chooses to document his life with flowers. 

As a small child, Hyunjin would pick flowers at the park for his mother; or one of his various personal art projects. A bundle of flowers bunched up in his tiny little hands as he ran to his mother with the widest, dimpled grin he could make. To his mother, the flowers are a sweet sentiment of his admiration towards the woman raising him. However, to Hyunjin they meant so much more than that—a physical manifestation of a deep awareness that he couldn’t find the words to explain until he matured as a person. This habit of gifting flowers out of pure emotion was probably the one constant in his life other than the crushing weight of heartbreak. 

Heartbreak is much like flowers. It has so many different colors and feels, it takes on a multitude of shapes and smells—and it is pretty easy to romanticize. 

When Hyunjin was in kindergarten, he gifted a daisy to a girl he had a small crush on. She ended up stomping on them, but that didn’t stop little Hyunjin from pining after her. The tradition of Hyunjin picking flowers as a romantic gesture continued in a slightly different way as he got older, and the helpless pining after something unattainable never stopped. Coincidentally, a few of his exes are named after flowers—the unfortunate downside of that is that it still pains him to look at whatever flower the ex had been named after, even if they ended the relationship on good terms. 

These are some moments and beliefs that have shaped Hyunjin—and his future. 

In the second to last year of his high school career, Hyunjin began working at a flower shop close to his childhood home. Morning Glory Floral—located between a convenience store and a bookstore (both of which are frequented by Hyunjin)—is a tiny little flower shop that Hyunjin knows like the back of his hand. He’d originally started out as a cashier and order taker until he eventually worked his way up to being one of three floral designers at the shop. 

He typically runs the shop most days of the week, opening in the early morning and closing in the late afternoon unless he happens to work Thursday, Friday, or Saturday—on those days the store is open until 7PM. Hyunjin usually arrives an hour, or sometimes two, before the shop opens just to get a headstart on things. He prints out invoices, splitting the orders between their type—local, domestic/international; additionally divided between funeral, wedding, and those non-applicable—as well as making sure pre-made flower arrangements are ready for pickup. The shop is fairly busy on a normal day (although that typically comes down to season), therefore, a lot of Hyunjin’s time during the day is making sure things are running smoothly and without delay. 

Floral design is an art. One of the many forms of art and creative expression that Hyunjin excels within. In his mind, floral design can easily be compared to architecture or interior design (both Hyunjin contemplated as career options). The vase is the foundation—who or what is this flower arrangement for? What color helps express the emotions behind the arrangement? Then—what flowers should be used (if the customer doesn’t have a request)? What should be the focal flower that grabs people's attention? Do the flowers chosen represent the overall message? Which filler flowers and greenery should be used? The shape of the arrangement matters too. As do a lot of other minuscule details. 

The details are important to him. Making sure the customer is satisfied with his creation is easy, hardly anything to worry about, but making sure that he’s satisfied with the work he’s done is an entirely different thing. A simple glance at Hyunjin creating a flower arrangement and it doesn’t seem like it takes too much time or energy. He moves in fluid movements, placing one flower after the other, a blank expression on his face. In reality, it’s a time-consuming process and it takes a lot of thought and precision to create the arrangements he does. Still, his hard work pays off greatly. He didn’t know he’d be where he is today, but he’s great at what he does—which is why people always come back. 

His favorite floral arrangements to make are the ones that have to do with romantic love—a date, wedding, or anniversary—since Hyunjin feels it gives him a lot more freedom for creative expression. Like floral design, love is of significant importance to Hyunjin, especially romantic love. Seeing people express their love and admiration for each other via flowers is beautiful to him, as he is a hopeless romantic after all. 

A small order of carnations arrived at the shop one morning. Unmarked and not on any receipt nor written in any book. Carnations are typically cut flowers (as in, used for decorative purposes), so consequently, it’s not unlikely for the shop to have extra, especially since Felix, one of the other floral designers, loves to use them for arrangements. The flowers catch Hyunjin’s eye in particular, not only because they’re striped carnations, but because there are three of them, obviously not enough to do much with unless for a small arrangement. 

Felix, as full of knowledge as he is, once explained to Hyunjin that during the Victorian era, carnations were used to speak very straightforwardly. Unlike other flowers that have many different, complicated, and often overlapping meanings, carnations could be used to respond to something—like a love proposal. If one was asking another for their hand in marriage, the recipient of the proposal may respond with a yes by giving the proposer a solid color carnation, such as pink, white, or even red; however, the yellow carnations mean no. Striped carnations generally mean a refusal of love, almost regrettably so. I love you, but I cannot be with you. A message that Hyunjin is more than familiar with. 

Perhaps it’s an omen. A sign that he’s going to fall headfirst into another relationship resulting in yet another heartbreak. A sign that if he falls for someone again, he may not get back up this time. Hyunjin often wonders if fate is real—he knows it is, he can feel that it's real—but has he been fated to fall in love over and over again just to reach the same emotionally catastrophic end that he always does? Maybe he did something in a past life that would warrant this anguish.

He shakes the thought from his mind, for the time being, choosing instead to blissfully and ignorantly fall victim to his subconscious. He won’t admit it out loud, and when the thought arises, he pushes it out of his mind in embarrassment, but Hyunjin loves the feeling of heartbreak. It stings. In both the worst way and the best way. And while he genuinely does hate heartbreak, it’s almost like he’s addicted to it. 

And then the bell of the door rings, signaling to Hyunjin that there’s a new customer. He looks up from behind the counter and his eyes meet Lee Minho, your boyfriend. 

You and Hyunjin had met in the fourth grade. It can only be described now, all of these years later, as an instantaneous click. You both felt comfortable with each other and eventually opted to do everything together, very soon becoming the best of friends. From grade school to adulthood, you’ve kept a secure friendship. Confiding in each other about everything—when one of you is low, the other is sure to pick them up. 

There’s a sheepish smile on Minho’s face as he approaches the counter. The expression takes Hyunjin aback. The smile is surprising because Hyunjin swears that the older man typically has a permanent scowl on his face. Hyunjin greets him, giving a small smile and a wave. 

“Need flowers for a date?” Hyunjin asks, fixing his standing posture. 

“For something better actually,” Minho’s smile grows wider, as if he cannot contain it. Hyunjin thinks this might be the biggest smile he’s ever seen across Minho’s face. Minho places his hands onto the cold surface of the counter, lightly tapping in it. “I’m proposing this weekend.”

Hyunjin’s jaw drops in awe. Never had he thought Minho was a man interested in marriage. Not only that, this means he’d be losing his best friend to married life. Next thing he knows, you’ll start having kids! His mind begins to race around, unforgiving. 

When Hyunjin the two of you were younger, you and Hyunjin would talk about your hopes and aspirations for the future. Of course, the topic of marriage and creating a family entered the conversation. You expressed that when you truly love someone, there’s no need to get the law involved for a piece of paper. Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh, he felt that your reasoning was a bit childish, joyous of true, deep love. However, when you told him that though, it put a couple of things into perspective—most significantly, how you and Hyunjin are opposites. Hyunjin aches to get married and wants a few children too, he thinks the idea is beautiful. Still, for Hyunjin, the possibility of him actually getting married feels too far-fetched; unimaginable, and unattainable. Would anyone love him enough to want to marry him?

Minho breaks Hyunjin away from the depth of his mind. “I was thinking of a nice bouquet to give them, and you’re my guy for that.” 

Hyunjin exhales as he looks at Minho. He can’t even crack a small smile. He feels he should be happy—but something within him feels wrong. Someone dear to his heart is getting married and he can’t even pretend to be excited. He should be happy for you. He knows he should be happy for you; but he cannot find happiness within himself at all at this moment. 

Hyunjin and Minho aren’t exactly friends. Had it not been for you, they doubt they would have even crossed paths. It’s not that Hyunjin doesn’t like Minho, he’s a cool, upstanding guy; but is he worth being your boyfriend? Let alone, is he worth being your husband? In Hyunjin’s perspective, absolutely not. Sure, from the things you tell him, Minho treats you with love, care, and the utmost respect, but Hyunjin thinks there’s something…off about him, even after four years of you and Minho being together. From Minho’s perspective, it’s obvious that Hyunjin has a crush on you. He’s teased you about it multiple times, but to you it seems highly unlikely that your best friend since practically forever would be in love with you—but it happens. 

“Here, I’ll show you the ring.” Minho fishes into the front pocket of his jeans, pulling out a black velvet box. He opens the box, places it on the counter, and turns it to Hyunjin. 

The ring is gorgeous. Hyunjin can tell it’s been updated and has had a few repairs, probably a ring kept within the family. He knows this because after looking at so many rings, both through work and in his own free time (self-admittedly pathetic of him to just go looking for engagement rings and wedding bands while he’s desperately single), he’s starting to notice the small differences. 

“Wow.” Is the only thing that leaves Hyunjin’s mouth. 

Minho continues to talk, but it all goes in one ear and out of the other. Hyunjin is lost within his head. One thought after another, layering and locking himself within his own mind. Hyunjin remains on auto-pilot for the rest of his conversation with Minho. Towards the end of it, Hyunjin fishes out the most pathetic fake smile he possibly could. Hyunjin, per usual, promises to do his best at making the best floral arrangement he possibly can. Before he leaves, Minho says something to Hyunjin that sticks with him for the rest of his day. 

“They’ve always liked your arrangements, so just do what you do best. I trust you.”

The carnations are back. Another three. 

Coincidentally, they arrived on the same day that Hyunjin has to create the floral arrangement for Minho’s proposal. Hyunjin can’t lie, while this project was constantly on his mind; subconsciously putting all the pieces together one by one—he absolutely put the entire thing off until the last minute. Hyunjin has never once dreaded coming into work until now. Just the thought of working on the arrangement makes him sick to his stomach. But now there’s no more time left. 

Everything that Hyunjin needs for the making of the arrangement is spread out right in front of him. 

He chooses a white vase as the foundation—white, along with being a symbol of purity or innocence, is also a symbol of new beginnings and marriage, the latter representing what the arrangement means as a whole—sleek and rounded in an hourglass shape. Usually, for engagement bouquets, Hyunjin uses a clear vase to ensure that the flowers stay healthy and alive (of course while being taken care of). However, neither you nor Minho are any good when it comes to taking care of flowers, so Hyunjin figures he can do whatever he wants when it comes to his creation.

The foliage comes first—Hyunjin preps the stems, pulling off the lower leaves that might hang in the water, clipping the ends off the stems before they dive into the water. Floral arranging is not only art, it’s a science. The plants have to be inserted into the vase at an angle so that the arrangement can take shape. The arrangement needs to be balanced and colorful, preferably. Vase arrangements require layering, it’s easier to start with the heavier flowers first; two red chrysanthemums on opposing sides. He cuts the stems so that the flowers hang low in the vase, almost acting as a focal point if not for his statement flowers. 

As a standard for his arrangements and bouquets, Hyunjin chooses flowers that signify love and new beginnings. He also needs to make sure that the flowers he chose actually look nice in the bouquet, as if not, he feels the need to completely start over.

As he works on his creation, Hyunjin allows himself to get lost within his thoughts. Everytime someone comes into the shop, a smile on their face as they’re picking out flowers for their lover; Hyunjin feels something within him break, just a tiny crack at the surface of his identity. For a brief moment, with his work, he’s allowed to peak into the lives—the relationships—of others. Everything from the great moments of excitement to the bad moments that hope and pray to be forgiven. All of it sends Hyunjin spiraling into the depths of his memory. 

He remembers his high school years. Going back to classes after the summer he hit a growth spurt. His voice got a bit deeper, too. Suddenly, all eyes were on him. Hyunjin was desirable. Shy as he was, he enjoyed it. And after a few experiences, he’d seemingly gotten over his timid behavior, though still introverted. It was a strange time. He remembers falling deep into infatuation only for things to not pan out. Before the situationship begins, the sharp sting of heartbreak lingers. 

Just a few months back, Hyunjin got his heart broken yet again when his now ex-girlfriend left him to get back with her ex; some total loser named Changbin, of whom she had been originally dating sometime before Hyunjin. It’s not you, it’s me, she said. I just don’t feel the same as you, she said. Maybe we’ll meet later in life, or in the next, she said. He knew she didn’t mean it. That she was just feeding into his past-life and karmic romantic ideologies to lessen the blow. Within that same week (at minimum, three days later), he sees a mutual friend post a picture from a double date including said ex and her boyfriend. 

It stung. Badly. And he’s over it now. In fact, he’s so over it that he can hardly remember her name. Sooyun? Miyeong? See? He can’t remember it. It wasn’t the worst breakup that Hyunjin has experienced. Not by a mile. The worst actually was a couple of years ago, his longest relationship which lasted a year exactly, getting betrayed on the one-year anniversary of their one-sided love. The memory still stings, so Hyunjin prefers not to talk about it—but once it comes time for self-reflection, he thinks of the memories in awe—sickly attached to the distant memory of something that failed to work out. What if? He thinks. 

But three months (yeah, his most recent relationship was only three months; yes, he’s still a bit broken) with someone—constantly talking to them, getting acquainted with their lifestyle, seeing them often, kissing them, feeling them—changes a person; for better or for worse. So, Hyunjin is lucky he got out of it with only hurt feelings. A faint tug at his heart and, understandably, anger surrounding the situation, if anything. Nothing unmanageable that he can’t work or date away. 

Past relationships have driven him into a slump. Depressed and unable to create or live, even, until he finds himself somewhere within the next person—both metaphorically and actually—when he’s really at his worst; the ‘best’ thing to do is to relieve his stress by burying himself inside of someone in an effort to escape intense personal feelings. This occasionally backfires whenever he catches feelings for whoever he fucks and the cycle repeats itself. Over and Over. An unfortunate life lesson that Hyunjin has to continue repeating: spiritually, possibly due to the sins made in a past life; but actually, because he rarely ever learns from past mistakes, especially if it has to do with romance. 

Hyunjin, is, quite simply, a hopeless romantic in every sense of the term, but at a specific level of naivety. Aching to see the good in people or a situation even if it has near-disastrous results to his psyche. Before even speaking to someone, he’d have already envisioned their first few dates, their marriage, and growing old together. It embarrasses him badly. And no matter how many times he has to sit down with himself, reminding himself to calm down, that he should take things slowly, he’s already experiencing heartbreak. 

He’s tried the dating scene multiple times since this most recent breakup. A few dates here and there, and more than a few hook-ups as well (What can he say? He’s a single man). He was mostly encouraged by other friends, and you, to reopen his Tinder account and get back out there. And Hyunjin, easily influenced, did just that. It didn’t last long though, simply due to the fact that he found himself bored almost immediately after each date or hookup. He’s simply wandering through life, boldly yet blindly, without inspiration. 

Then he feels that spark. It’s just as he’s putting the finishing touches on his creation. 

That very familiar, almost sickening spark deep within his soul that he found himself craving after going so long without. Feelings. Of the romantic variety. For you. He can say that he initially realized them during a party hosted by a friend of a friend. You were surrounded by some of your close friends, drinking, and smiling all pretty as you do; and that’s when it started. It was like the universe expanded in a way that could be physically felt—similar to that of an out of body experience—an intensity that feels so right. He could damn near feel the temperature changing in the room due to some kind of universal shift. The vibrations of the music gets heavier, and the chatter of people blurs together—time slows down but is going all too fast. 

But perhaps he’s had these feelings for you for a while now. Maybe since you first met as children. Hiding them deep within himself. Covering up his feelings by searching for you through countless other people. Perhaps it is why many of his relationships never work out. 

It has to be fate calling out to him. Hyunjin clings to this thought and the feeling that it gives him.

Hyunjin questions himself like he does every time he realizes that he has feelings for someone. What do I like about them? He ponders it. Though it doesn’t take long for him to figure it out. Everything. He likes everything about you. From the way you type on your phone to how you order food at restaurants. He loves how concentrated you get when reading something and he likes how you walk a little weirdly. He likes your opinions and the way you see the world. Those small, specific things that make you who you are, are what Hyunjin loves. You as a person, inside and out. The good and the bad. All desirable and undesirable things. 

This is bad. Really bad. The realization feels bad. 

Hyunjin has had feelings for tons of his friends before. He never tells them, but if he does—because hey, life is short—then it never goes past a -with-benefits label. His friends mean a lot to him, and while a romance could strengthen a relationship, it could also weaken one. Some people are meant to stay friends. Perhaps that could change between you two. But it cannot. Hyunjin remembers one little fact: you are in a committed relationship. Of four years. With Lee Minho of all people. 

What does Lee Minho have that Hyunjin doesn’t? He’s just as pretty. Just as charming. And he’s a few centimeters taller. Plus, he’s known you longer than Minho has. If anything happens, you’d certainly pick Hyunjin, right? But Minho wants to marry you and Hyunjin doubts himself as being ready for that type of commitment even though he craves it desperately. 

By the time that Hyunjin has finally finished the final pieces of the floral arrangement and sneaks away from his thoughts, Minho saulters into the store. Speak of the devil. 

He’s smiling just as wide as he had days ago. Tonight is the night that he proposes, Minho informs Hyunjin. To which, Hyunjin congratulates Minho—but he hopes that you say no. He prays that you say no and, just to add insult to injury, you laugh in Minho’s face, despite how crude it’d be. In the pit of his stomach, though, he knows that you’ll say yes to Minho.

Minho leaves with the flowers after a few minutes of chatter; but not before he pays and leaves quite a hefty tip. 

The rest of Hyunjin’s day goes by dryly. A permanent pout rests on his face, as noticed by his coworkers. He’ll just shyly smile so as to not cause any worry. Hyunjin remains on autopilot. Smiling, talking to his regulars and answering the questions he might receive throughout the day. For the most part, though, he retreats to the dark and cozy area of his mind. 

—

He decides to take a refreshing walk back home. It’s only about a fifteen minute walk, and he does it often. More time to think. His headphones are tight against his ears, but not uncomfortable. Hyunjin initially chooses to blast a soft, slow tempoed song before he switches to something more heavy and aggravated. 

The music is cut and a millisecond later, his phone rings. It’s you. Oh, god. You’re going to rub your relationship in his face. 

When Hyunjin answers it, there’s an, albeit fake, smile on his face as if you could see him, and he begins to speak in a typical cheery tone. He’s cut off by a sob. He can’t understand a thing you’re saying and he panics. He stops in his tracks, hand curling to grasp at air in a panic. His eyes widen while he searches for any thought in his brain to console you. 

“Are you home? I’ll be on my way, okay?” He informs you, voice filled with worry. “We can stay on the line until I get there.”

And he stays on the phone with you until he reaches his home; and then the entire fifteen-block walk to your place. Avoiding the eyes of those who wonder whether he might be talking to himself. He hurries, speed walking the entire way—and almost sprinting at one point when your sobs had suddenly gotten worse—in order to reach your apartment in less time than it would usually take. 

He’s buzzed into your building and within a few seconds he’s at the door of your apartment. He doesn’t need to knock, as you open it immediately. Tears are staining your cheeks and you walk up to hug Hyunjin, not bothering to welcome him into your home. 

Now, everything is seemingly on pause, and Hyunjin is comforting you through your own heartbreak. Once again, time is both slowed down and sped up—he’s present but still lost in his head somewhere. Still, he waddles the both of you into your apartment, and kicks the door closed with his foot. 

He notices the flower arrangement he’d made just hours prior, sitting untouched on the kitchen counter. 

“You wanna talk about it?” Hyunjin questions. Dealing with those emotions, especially right after they surface, is difficult, and the last thing Hyunjin wants to do is push you into speaking about it—he knows the fresh wounds of a heartbreak all too well. So, he remains by your side, patient, and comforting until—if—you decide to speak. 

The two of you begin rocking side to side slowly. It’s soothing, and you’re able to speak just quietly. 

“Well, he proposed,” His stomach turns, tightening to the point where he becomes nauseous for a moment. Hyunjin even nearly rolls his eyes, but the thing that relieves him is the reason he’s here—obviously you turned Minho down. That, or Minho dropped dead; but that’s not as likely. Yet, the thing that nearly makes Hyunjin sicker is how much he hates that he’s happy that you declined the proposal. 

“And I declined. I-I said I wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Told him I wish we had discussed it a bit more before he did anything so we’d be on the same page. B-but I begged for us to stay together and he said… he said he couldn’t do it.” 

You bury your head in Hyunjin’s chest, weeping a bit more. 

“I know it hurts,” His words get lost in his mind somewhere, feeling as though he isn’t adequate enough to comfort you. 

“It hurts so bad.” You grab his hoodie with your fist tightly, twisting and tugging at it. 

“Let’s just cry it out. That always helps me.” He suggests, hand running up and down your back. 

“Cry with me? Like that scene in Midsommar?” You laugh through your sobs despite the hurt you’re in. Not that it matters to Hyunjin, of course. You can feel him laugh and, fortunately, it makes you smile. 

“Only if you want me to.” He unknowingly returns the smile. You don’t respond, but you ponder it—even as just a joke. 

The room falls silent but the silence is comfortable. That’s what you love about being around Hyunjin. You intrigue him, and while he always wants to know what’s going on in your mind, he never pressures you to speak. Sometimes, we learn more about ourselves—and to an extent, other people—through silence. 

The hug breaks. You fail to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. You walk off to sit in the living room and Hyunjin goes to get water for the both of you. He sets the glasses of water down and takes a seat next to you. 

“Where is he?” Hyunjin asks. His palms are sweaty, so he wipes them onto his jeans.

Your frown somehow deepens before you speak. “Went to stay with his parents.”

Silence. Hyunjin can tell that you’re lost in thought. He feels a bit odd. Individually, you both have gone through a significant amount of breakups; but each one is different from the last. It’s been so long since you’ve had your heart broken. To see you like this after so long—eyes red and puffy with a tear stained face, bottom lip quivering as you try to console yourself—it breaks Hyunjin. He does what you would do for him. 

“What will help take your mind away?” His voice is soft, barely above a whisper. 

You ponder for a moment. “Remember back in February when you and Miyeong broke up? The sleepover we had while Minho was away? We stayed up all night eating snacks and watching romance movies,” 

He nods. Despite being deeply hurt to the point he got sick, the latter part of that week was one of the most enjoyable times that he’d had in forever. The two of you ate, drank, cried, and watched cheesy romantic movies (to which Hyunjin cried more). Through the stuffy fog that is heartbreak, Hyunjin was reminded that, sometimes, life isn’t so bad. 

“What if we did that again for a couple of days?”

Hyunjin ponders it, considers it, but… “We both have work.” He pouts.

“Not tomorrow, though. I just don’t want to be alone right now,” You need him. A crutch. A support system. And you know he’ll never let you down. “Plus, you act like you haven’t stayed over for long periods of time before! Remember the time that Jisung refused to shower out of spite so you slept over here?”

Hyunjin lets out a short chuckle. He knows that when he goes back to his apartment, it’ll be left a mess. But for you, he doesn’t mind cleaning up after Jisung. “Fine. But only because I love you and I want you to feel better, loser.”

—

“You just have to find your thing, you know?” Hyunjin takes another shot. Neither of you are sure just how many you’ve both had. 

“Like, you know, my thing is art, and flowers and, you know, expressing myself with them. It’s the one thing I can always come back to and feel good about. Not betrayed, not hurt, or anything. But good. That shop—god—it’s like the one place in this world that’s for me.”

He’s venting now. He shouldn’t be. This is all about you. Tonight is all about you. So he cuts himself short, words still lingering on the tip of his tongue. There’s a momentary silence, eventually broken by you.

“Are you implying that you want to fuck your flower shop?”

“Wha…? No! I’m just saying…I’m trying to help you!” His ears become red.

“Hm. Not sure. Sounds like you’re confessing your love for your job,” Hyunjin looks at you with a face full of temporary disgust. “I’m jooking! Find my thing, something to express myself with, I know, I get it.”

“I’m sorry,” 

“Don’t be.”

Silence once again occupies the room, planting itself comfortably between you and Hyunjin. Hyunjin doesn’t mind the silence. You do, though. 

“You know what’s kinda funny?” 

“Hm?”

“Minho used to mention, from time to time, how he believed you had a crush on me,” You smile. Hyunjin, however, is caught off guard, eyebrows raised with his eyes slightly wide. “I would always laugh it off but part of me kept thinking What If?”

“What if I had been with you instead of Minho. I mean, you wouldn’t propose to me without having a simple fucking conversation, right?” You ramble on. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Sure.” “Two secrets! It’s actually two secrets!”

“One,” You tilt your head to smile at Hyunjin. “I had the biggest crush on you for years. But I was so hurt because you kept going after literally every fucking body else. Wish you had paid attention to me.”

“And Two!” You continue, not as sad. Ignoring the previous sentences that came from your mouth. “I wish I could kiss you right now. Would you let me?”

He can’t believe the words that come out of your mouth. For a moment, Hyunjin feels ill. He’d somehow missed the signs. You wanted him, too. His eyebrows string together in a brief expression of sadness. He shakes it away. Hyunjin nods and leans in, his eyes close and he puckers his lips. Within a second, he feels your lips on his and then your hand on his thigh. 

Sparks. That’s the only way that Hyunjin can describe it. Your mouth is warm, wet and Hyunjin can only melt into you. The two of you melt into each other. Lips mashed together as your tongues slip into each other's mouths, swapping spit. At this point it’s more than kissing. It’s heavy and messy. It’s full of hurt and passion and the feeling of being missed. Or having something missed out on. Uncertainty. Neither of you have come up for air to interrupt the makeout session. Losing yourselves within each other's mouths—lips and tongue, occasional teeth. 

You end up climbing atop of him to straddle. Breaking the kiss to pin Hyunjin to the floor. You stare down at him, searching within his eyes. “Do you want me?”

“So much.” The two words leave Hyunjin’s mouth desperately. He’s in anguish. 

He tries to sit up, to chase your lips but he’s properly pinned. You plant one soft kiss against his lips. You stand, beckoning Hyunjin to follow you to your room; disappearing into the hallway. And Hyunjin does just that; leaving his sober self to pick up the pieces of a drunken, immoral night. 

© PLANETDREAM 2024

[bluespring864]

Tags by @crossedcourt <3

I will now run with them and write an essay because I am always insane about Novandy ;-)

Specifically I want to talk about the "yes i've beaten you on every surface" part. Because I've had a few messages and seen a few comments to the effect of "Wait, they are starting a partnership at the Australian Open of all places?! How many times did Novak beat Andy there?" To which the answer is: Andy lost four of his five Australian Open finals to Novak, three of them rather badly (two in straight sets, one with a fourth set bagel) and he also very narrowly lost probably the most epic match they ever played - according to both of them - which was the Australian Open semifinal in 2012.

While this would be devastating and a cause for animosity for many tennis players I need you to understand that THEY ARE NOT LIKE THAT. At their first meeting at an under-14 tournament, Les Petits As in France in 2001, which concidentally was Novak's first international tournament ever, Andy destroyed him 6-0, 6-1 (Novak: "You gave me one game!") and they still laugh about it to this day. If and when they do press for this new coaching partnership, expect this to come up a few times.

It has always felt to me like their modus operandi was: us against the world (Novak: “Sometimes we catch up for dinner. It’s good to see somebody you grew up with doing so well in professional tennis and it’s great to show to people that top-five players, who are big rivals on the court, can be really good friends as well.”) And it never really changed, even when Novak took a commanding 24-11 lead in the H2H over the years (I am only counting matches played and leaving out the fucking tragic walkover from Andy that prevented their last meeting from happening), after it briefly almost evened out in 2012/2013.

This attitude, of course, is rather impressive from Andy, who could very well be bitter about how differently their careers have gone, considering that they are such similar players who were born only one week apart and that there was definitely much more hype around Andy at the start of their careers (Novak said when they were both 18 and played doubles at, you've guessed it, the Australian Open, that he would and wouldn't like to be like Andy because on the one hand Andy had much more support than him at the time, on the other hand he had the crushing weight of expectations to contend with).

But instead of being bitter, for the last few years of his career you could hear Mr. Murray say things like: “It would be amazing to see him do it [win the 23d Grand Slam] on Sunday. I will be supporting him. And I hope he can do it. Because it is incredible what he has done.” or plainly "I'm happy for him, he deserves it." Or even: "After Wimbledon [2023], everyone was saying it was a changing of the guard, but it wasn't for me." Oh it wasn't for you? You are defensive over the man who has beaten you more than any other in your career being written off too early?

Even during that crazy year of 2016, when they were the two frontrunners in the rankings by miles and Andy was chasing the number one spot, what did he say after losing the only French Open final he ever played? Well, he started it off with "This is his day today. What he’s achieved the last 12 months is phenomenal." and not only told the audience they had been extremely lucky to see Novak make history once again, but also ended with: "I’m proud to have been a part of today."

Us. Against. The. World.

So that's Andy, but what about Novak? Well, not to be outdone he will mention Andy in almost every interview, even when he was very much not asked about him. He will remember the 2013 Wimbledon final which he lost in straight sets to Andy as "a historic, special moment that I cherish" and, on court at the ATP Finals 2016, after his own second half of the year had been rather dismal, he also explained to the crowd that they were part of history that day and that "It was an honour to be on the court and to be a part of the big occasion. Andy is definitely number one of the world. He is the best player. He deserved to win."

If asked about the best matches he has played with Andy he will readily mention the 2012 London Olympics semifinal. We all know how important the Olympics have always been to Novak (if you didn't before 2024, you certainly know now) and this was a semifinal loss at his beloved Olympics in straight sets. Let that sink in.

When Andy retired this year, Novak explained: “He will inspire many generations to come. He inspires me, and we are about the same age." He, who has just finished his career outside of the top 100 and in a doubles match because his body wouldn't even let him play singles anymore, inspires you, who has achieved more than any other in this sport? That's really lovely, Novak. Oh, and by the way, how about Andy becoming world No. 1 and ending Novak's longest stint at No. 1 in his career? Novak's post at the time: "I am really happy to be in the same era with you."

Us. Against. The. World.

So, to make a very long story short: If I was surprised about the coaching news yesterday it was because they actually went for it, not because it seemed outlandish to me in any way. As you can see, it makes perfect sense. I am really glad we are getting another chapter of this story which - according to Novak - is "A script, a long story. A romance, I’ll call it." after we previously were treated to - according to Andy - "Rivals, doubles partners, friends and lovers?" By the way, he still has that Instagram post pinned. Anyway, before I digress, let me conclude this by saying:

You thought their story was over? Think again.

[leoisstillalive]

im scrolling through the 2020 motogp website on the wayback machine rn and. im thinking about this article

it was posted a few days before jerez- before the crash that would bring marc's career to a grinding halt; that would eventually make him consider retirement.

and the answer is, ultimately, no.

nobody could. not one single rider could conclude his "era".

it was a crash- it had to be a crash. a personal mistake, a fault with the bike in the period of time where honda was starting to decline. if this was an ancient greek tale, that crash was divine intervention. the natural climax to a tale of hubris and god-slaying. the point in the story where the hero is brought to his knees and made to question everything.

the weight of his decisions finally collapsing upon his head and he has to make yet another: to flee, to freeze, or to fight. retirement, fading into obscurity, or pushing and pushing and pushing in the way only marquez knows how. and all the dust clears into one question of what is the point?

and he still fought his way back.

isn't that fucking crazy?

[isles-of-man]

 Sensing the tone in her voice, playful yet earnest, he nodded his head with the promise to sleep in her bed. As she left, he leaned against the bathroom doorframe, watching her retreating form with a mixture of longing and satisfaction. The silver-haired man sighed contentedly, his body still humming from their passionate encounter. he turned to the mirror, taking in his dishevelled appearance with amusement, with bite marks even more visible when he took off his clothes. Bruises were beginning to form, and his collarbone laid visible reminders of her fervent need to lay her possessive marks on him.

Simon started the shower, letting the warm water cascade over him as he washed away the sweat that had built in the lovemaking they had done. He had never been as active as with her; his nerves were still on fire just at the thought of her despite the exhaustion.

After drying odd and dressing in a pair of boxers, leaving himself shirtless and torso bare, he walked around his bedroom, getting the only necessities he needed before joining her. He had a packet of his cigarettes before he stopped by his office for his journal, which he still habitually filled every night. Along the way, he set about clearing the mess they made and grabbed a glass of scotch for a nightcap. By the time he had come to her room, he quietly stepped inside, cigarette between his lips and walked towards her balcony to light it for a quick smoke and sat with his pen in hand. The words easily come onto the pages as they were written: the confession of his love for Rosalie.

He closed the book after some minutes and placed it on a small table in front of him as he smoked, thinking of how he had ended up here. The young woman was madly in love with him as he was her, and for a man whose career was words, it felt impossible to put together what to say. In just hours, she had his whole heart. He was bewitched to feel his heart in utter devotion to her. It frightened him to feel such a strong feeling of love. No matter the consequences, he felt himself tied to her being and was prepared to leave his past morals of logic for her. He loved her deeply, madly.

As he smoked, periodically taking a sip of his scotch, he only imagined a future with her. He smiled at the thought of waking up to see her beside him. If she would have him for the rest of her life he was willing to give her that. Life was short; shorter than his compared to hers given the differences but he knew what they had was rare. He wouldn't deny them that. As if he could ever deny her of anything again.

Rosalie was absolutely beside herself with sheer ecstasy as the waves of pleasure washed over her body. Shaking uncontrollably as her walls spasmed around his pulsating cock. His name and other expletives fell from her lips as all the emotions overwhelmed her being. The potency of the desire is tangible to the touch. Feeling his hands loosen she was able to breathe more easily. The explosion inside her was tenfold, simply incredible, unlike any other orgasm she ever had before. Feeling his strong thrusts throughout he finally managed his release as he came inside her. Her walls milked every last drop of his potent seed as he filled her to the core. It was heavenly. The abundance of rapture that coursed through her. Hearing his groans of her name exhilarated her further. God, it was amazing as she throbbed around him, til he was spent.

What a heap of tangled messes they were, but the blonde didn't care one bit. Her breathing slowly returned to normal as the pleasure subsided and ebbed away. My goodness. Utterly outrageous the effects he has on her body. She hummed blissfully at the feel of his lips placing tender kisses along her jaw. Her eyes fluttered at the sensations, "Si," she mumbled in her blissed-out state. A low hum of approval emitted from her throat as she felt his movements, pulling her against his chest. "That was…" she muttered unable to obtain a single thought at this moment. "Me neither, my love. You bring that out of me," she cooed delightfully. "I'm glad I can do the same for you," she teased with a satiated smile etched upon her features. A soft whine escaped as they detangled themselves, if he could stay inside her forever that truly would be magnificent. Her half-lidded eyes studied him as he put on his pants and stood. "Thank you," she muttered as she gracefully stood as her pussy still ached for him. A soft chuckle fell from her lips at the sight of her. Truly a mess of ripped clothes. "That you do, mister," she smiled lovingly in return as he guided her to the bathroom. A pout started to form upon her features at his words, but he spoke the truth. They did need a reprieve, both of them. "Okay…that sounds boring…but ideal I suppose," she answered regretfully. "We do need to get stuff done I suppose. You better come see me tonight or else," she stated in the least non-threatening tone imaginable. "Rest and recuperation does sound tempting," she grinned with a wink before he captured her lips. Her hands grasped his arms. "See you soon, love," she whispered against his lips.

[eddiegettingshot]

The whole Eddie moving to Texas thing I feel like is how they continue the story of Eddie actively choosing joy for himself and also using it as a way for Eddie to finally stand up to his parents. Rn he sees the situation as this:

My son is in El Paso because of a mistake I made. I’m missing out on him growing up. Therefore, I will move to El Paso to be with my son. Even though my son hasn’t said anything about me wanting to move there or him staying there permanently, I will assume this is what he wants therefore it’s the best decision for both of us.

But once he realizes that if he actually wants to make a decision on what is “best for Christopher,” he needs to make a decision on where he himself is the happiest. Which is definitely away from his own parents. He needs to choose his own joy for once instead of someone else’s, because sacrificing himself for what he thinks what Chris wants won’t help either of them in the long run.

Once he does this, some of the situation will be still somewhat the same, but Eddie will also highlight how his parents role in this has led the situation to where it is now. He’ll finally stop punishing himself for making this mistake, and instead will start trying to fix it.

With this new perspective, Eddie will start viewing the situation like this:

My son went to El Paso because of a mistake I made, but he’s still in El Paso because my parents were too eager to scoop him up when they found out about the mistake I had made. (We saw him touch on this lightly already during conversation with the priest). I’m missing out on him growing up because the adults who are taking care of him currently aren’t telling me stuff about my son that I should know. Therefore, instead of moving to El Paso to be with my son, I will visit El Paso to be with my son. And since my son hasn’t said anything about wanting to stay in El Paso permanently, I will talk to him while I’m there visiting him about what he wants instead of just assuming what he wants. What is best for me is to be in LA where I have built a career, and with it a family. And what’s best for Christopher is for him to be with me, in a place where I’m the happiest. Therefore I will fight to get him back.

Ok I’m done rambling. Just wanted to say that I agree with you that I don’t think Eddie actually going to move to El Paso, because it would be reductive to his most recent storyline.

i agree that this is related to his choosing joy, but i kind of really disagree with this reading. you're framing it as a mistake in eddie's thought process but i fundamentally do not think that this is him making a poor decision because he's making assumptions about what chris wants. he's doing this based on quite literally what he is being shown and told. chris KNOWS that eddie wants him to come home. eddie's parents KNOW that eddie wants chris to come home. but there is literally no sign that chris seems interested in doing that at this point because eddie's parents are doing nothing to foster reconciliation AND eddie's parents have set up a situation wherein eddie asking that question looks like possibly threatening chris's happiness—which is fragile because of HIM. what eddie knows is that christopher left los angeles to get away from him. moving to el paso is going against what eddie believes christopher wants. like, yes, he's making a sacrifice, but it's not for chris's own good, it's for HIS own good.

the point is that eddie doesn't want to sit in los angeles 800 miles away from his son waiting and hoping that chris will change his mind or his parents will suddenly start telling him things. it makes him MORE miserable to be far away from chris. THAT is why he's considering moving to texas: because getting to watch chris grow up is a part of EDDIE'S joy. this IS the only choice he feels like he can make in order to fight for their relationship because he literally HAS been trying this whole time to do what he thinks is best for chris and punishing himself in the process—staying away and letting things happen—and all it's done is driven a wedge in between them. which is why he's not doing that anymore!

choosing to be where christopher is IS him choosing joy in whatever way he can, without feeling like he's putting chris at risk! because, yes, eddie needs to choose joy, but what's just as important to him is that chris is still allowed to make choices. this IS the beginning of him fighting for chris! but you're assuming that he has a full picture of what's happening, and that he's actually in a position where he and chris can have an honest conversation without risking someone getting hurt, and that's just not the case at all.

[glass--beach]

Thoughts on Jeff Rosenstock? (Also I'm so happy to hear he came out as enby!)

i heard about that! that’s cool

uh, bomb the music industry, the arrogant sons of bitches, & jeff’s solo work were all really important to me when i first started writing music and i feel the influence on casio dad and glass beach is completely obvious. there are a TON of other artists i like that i discovered through his netlabel quote unquote records as well, probably the most significant being the brave little abacus. i still think the absolute peak of his career was Vacation, with Worry and We Cool in second and third place. that has a lot to do with the time in my life that those records came out though, it was right when i was properly entering adulthood and those records all spoke to some very 20-something concerns.

i like his more recent records but tbh i feel that since Worry he’s basically been making the same album over and over. he’s clearly refined his craft a lot and i get why people would say Hellmode or No Dream is his best but i don’t think a jeff rosenstock record can hit like it did when i was 20 anymore and i really miss the wild experimentation of btmi, though a lot of those older records were undeniably less consistent than his more recent ones. i have always got the sense that he is doing what he wants to do though and he has consistently delivered quality songwriting with real substance that’s all very fun to listen to

i DO wanna say one thing though and i’m not trying to start controversy but i am bummed that he has continued to work with the very same merch company that i cut ties with last year for union busting, and am further disappointed that he has defended his relationship with them! he’s always spoken to this very working class perspective which is a large part of why i like him so it’s strange to see this disregard for the working people helping him earn his living. i’ve visited their factory, those people work their asses off, and i was proud to be involved with them back when they were unionized. please please please don’t start shit with him on my behalf though, i only point this out because i have immense respect for him & hope he’ll realize soon enough why this matters. no need for attacks. he’s not a bad guy at all.

anyway. very very important artist to me. could probably go off for a while about any particular one of his albums but that’s the general gist. oh yeah also I Look Like Shit is underrated, it’s a mixed bag as a whole but Twinkle and his cover of I Don’t Wanna Die are among his best songs. Twinkle is probably the one that most influenced glass beach too

[ray935sworld]

Child of divorce rosquez AU

My baby, my baby

Chapter 1: The fallout

Marc knew he should be grateful for the life he lived.

He had everything and more he could have ever dreamed about.

He was a big name in the sport he loved after only 2 season. He had won 2 titles in those years, making him a 4x wdc before he turned 22.

He earned a lot of money while living his dream. He made his hobby to his job and it worked out perfectly. Better than anything they could have expected.

He had healed from an almost career ending accident and had started to win everything. He learned how to handle crashs and he was pretty good in dealing with the injuries resulting.

He had a brother who he loved dearly. They were basically glued together. He was his best friend and always had his back. They had the same profession and could spent lots of time together.

And he had a wonderful little son who would turn 2 in January.

David was everything to him. He had never expected to became a father as early as he did but he would trade it for nothing in the whole world.

He loved David like it was breathing and now he could have never imagined not having him in his life.

He knew he should be grateful for a life like that. Most people weren't as lucky as he was. For most people, their dream didn't work out. Many in his profession even suffered a terrible fate. Most people weren't as lucky to have a support system like he did when it comes to an unexpected pregnancy.

And he was grateful. He would never not be grateful

But as he looked in the news, he couldn't help but curse the world for putting him through something like that. Actually he wouldn't care if it was just about him. He'd be able to handle that.

But dragging David through it?

He swallowed, cursing silently as he read how his toddler got weaponized.

'The cuckoo child of motogp - whose the real father of Marquez's bastard?'

He wanted to take the paper, roll it up and beat the crap out of who ever had the idea, who wrote it and who deemed as as appropriate enough to be published.

It was bullshit. The world knew who David father was, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. He - They had always been honest about David's father.

Fuck.

Vale had been the one to step up about it. He hadn't want to hide Marc or their relationship and his fatherhood of David. So he publicly picking David up from the Honda garage and carrying him to yamaha.

The baby had been crawled on his chest, Vale still on his race suit, as he talked with his mechanic. The hugh 46 over his head seemed to fit perfectly with the red MM93 top David had been wearing. A gift from Santi.

As expected, the whole media went crazy. They asked them about the reason behind that.

Vale had just laughed and said "Allora, I gotta take care of my lovely son, no? Can't let Marc do all the work. He did all the hardest work already. I mean - If it takes two to have fun, it takes at least two to care of our little bambino"

And the papers went wild. As expected. Valentino Rossi, having a son - the news spread like wildfire through all of Italy.

They repeated it the next day. Vale had grinned widely as Marc handed their baby over, knowing that many journalists had only waited for this.

They had managed to arrange the schedules that while Vale went over some data, Marc had a little free time to look after David. And as soon as his occupation started, Vale was free and took their son.

It didn't always work but luckyly Julia was happily to look after his grandson in the meantime. Or Alex and Luca stole him away. For some uncle time, as they called it.

Vale and Marc had early on decided not to investigate what their brothers put their baby through after catching Alex trying to teach David to say "batman" instead of papa as his first word.

They just trusted the newly founded uncles in crime union - to which the academy boys counted as well - not to do something extremely stupid.

"Your fault if you let a bunch of teenage uncles babysit cause you don't know how to pull out" Luca had said as Vale asked him why his son was currently wearing a green baby wig, sunglasses and a glittery jacket.

He had turned to Franco, knowing that this was an argument he couldn't win against. He hope his oldest boy would at least have some sense as he gave him a strong 'care to explain?' look. But he just shrugged and answered "What? It's fun. And David loves it! Look at him"

As on cue, David started giggling and reach for his papa. "He's a baby. He loves everything." Vale replied as he took his son back in his arms. "OH come on Vale" Marc had said. "It's cute. And our baby looks really cool like that"

That had always been their system. And it worked. They were a happily little family, living in Spain or Italy, attending races all over the world.

Then things went south and now he had to see articles like that.

It wasn't just the fact that he was publicly accused of infidelity he didn't commit or trying to baby trap Valentino, it was the way it was phrased. It was phrased to be against his son. Not just him but a literal baby.

And that made him angry. He could handle backlash. There has always been some idiots, searching for gossip, starting all kinds of rumors about Vale and his relationship.

But this was new.

Because now, Rossi's comments indicated that even he wasn't sure about the fatherhood.

"Who knows... if he is capable of screwing me over like that, he probably already did in other ways"

Sepang.

He still got shivers when he remembered hearing that in the press conference the first time. Back then he had been foolish enough to believe it was a joke. A hard comment like they often do after a race like this.

He had laughed along, ignoring the sting in his stomach.

It had started with that accusation and it spiraled into an avalanche against him. One quote followed the next one. One worst than the one before and at the end, Rossi had managed to paint a devastating picture.

David - their son, being a lie. The boy they worried about together, who they cared for, who they loved before he was even born, was supposed to be a manipulation technique?

He accused Marc of sleeping around, trying to pass a strangers child off as his.

He wanted to scream and cry. So he went to Vale's motorhome that night. He couldn't control his emotion so he yelled and sobbed and begged him to think straight.

It had been Vale who welcomed David in tbe world, who sat next to Marc's bed, holding his hand waiting for him to wake up after the birth.

It had been Vale who had spent hours thinking about designs and decorating the nurseries at the ranch and at their place in Spain. He had even asked his academy kids for help.

He had asked everyone he knew and loved how to be a good parent.

He had loved David the second he knew he existed. He had been so incredible happy about the pregnancy despite the circumstances. He loved David always and forever.

He had hold him in his arms every day and every night. He had sang him a lullaby. He had told him stories and showed him pictures of their families. He had told him everything about everyone.

He had shown David how loved he was the second he was born.

He had supervised his boys as they stood around the cradle, the first time they were in Italy again. They were all standing there cooing over their newest addition.

Marc's heart had melted as Vale put his arms around his boys, heads still lowered over David. "Remember, moments like this are the reason, we take calculated risks not blind ones. Cause no amount of point is worth this. Understood?"

But apparently that was a lie.

Because now he had stood there, his eyes cold, his face drawn a fascade that could only be described as disgust and hate.

The love they had shared was gone. Yes they had relationship problems in the last weeks. But not like that. Every couple had its ups and downs. That was normal. But this...

Marc huffed. He stared at Vale.

"You can't be serious. David - David IS YOUR SON! YOU KNOW THAT!" "I only know what you told me and you are a liar. You have proven that many times. Why should he be a difference!"

He spoke coldly about him. His voice filled with hate as he spoke about their son. "Keep David out of this! He has done nothing but breath and love you unconditionally since the moment he was born" "I don't care. You're a fucking liar. This is not worth it!"

Their child wasn't worth it? Worth what? Trying? Finding a way to make up? Discussing things? Clearing doubts and misunderstandings up so they can be happy together?

"Valentino, he is your God damn son! Are you really that blind? There is a HUGH difference if I lie to the media about an injury or which tyres I'm using and the paternity of our child!"

Rossi just huffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. It felt like he was making fun of Marc. He didn't take Marc serious. Neither this issue. And that hurt even more.

"You are a liar and you use me for your own advantage. You don't care about me. So why should you even want a kid with me in the first place?" "Because I love you, you stupid idiot! I love you like crazy! I always have"

He loved him for longer they actually knew each other and his love for him had just grown since the.

"You are a liar" the Italian insisted. "I am not a liar! I love you! You mean everything to me. What do you think why I'm here trying to figure this out? I love you. I will always love you and I'm trying to figure this out with you. I mean-"

He was getting desperate. He didn't know what to say anymore. "I - I will always love you and you will always have a place in my heart and my home and my family. And that boy - the boy we are raising together - is your child. He is your own flesh and blood! You know that!"

But no amount of yelling and begging could change anything. And Marc tried. He tried harder than he was racing. He was ready to let all of hids dignity go.

He tried until it was too late. It had been too late the whole time but he now had to admit it.

"So that's it...? You lied to your own academy kids?" he had asked still holding anger. His voice hoarse and his eyes red. He had no strength left. "Points are worth more than your own family. A championship means more than your own baby. After everything-"

Vale looked at him with cold eyes. He meant what he would say. "No. But that fucking bastard isn't my baby"

There it was.

'Bastard.'

'That fucking bastard.'

About David. About their child. He had insulted their baby and with that, he had hurt Marc enough to finally walk away.

Insulting David made a switch flip in his head. It told him it wasn't worth it. He wanted to fight and he had sworn he would but there was nothing left fighting for.

David was no longer their baby. He was only Marc's baby.

So he stopped begging. No more yelling, no more tears and devestation about a man that didn't gave a fuck about them.

David deserved loved. He deserved to be loved unconditional and he had people that were willing to give him that love without having to beg.

Marc would not force someone who clearly didn't want to have anything to with him to stay in his life. He wouldn't do that to his kid.

He had always promised himself to never settled for someone that he had to beg to stay. Especially not if he had to dealt with the anxiety of being left on a daily basis.

And David didn't deserve that too.

So he left. He didn't persue legal action against Vale even if he had considered it. But he wouldn't ask for anything. He wouldn't give him more things to put against him. And he didn't need his help either. He could prove that they were fine without him. And he would.

That weekend marked tbe first of many after which they didn't joked on the drive to the airport or sat cuddled up in the back of a taxi that drove them to the hotel. They didn't shared a flight home and didn't talked about their child.

They didn't bickered about when to unpack their stuff. Marc didn't roll his eyes sarcastically cause Vale had once again forgot that after locking the car he had to unlock the door with the same bunch of keys.

He had always immediately let them slide inside his pockets and then had to fish them out.

Instead he got out the car, took his stuff and followed his brother and father inside the house without a word. He hadn't really spoken since the confrontation with Vale.

He just entered the house, hugged his mother a little bit longer than usual. It worried her but she knew what was going on. He whispered a tired "I love you" to his family as he headed to his child's room.

He went quickly, but instead of happiness and excitement, his steps now showed sadness and hurt.

It was late so David was already in bed. Marc didn't want to wake him. He didn't want him to see that only of his parents had come home to him.

He wanted that David got one last night of peaceful sleep in the knowledge that both his parents who loved him dearly would be there when he woke up. Marc feared the moment this would crash.

So he just sat down next to David, his hand reaching for his face that was plastered against the mattress. There was some spit drooling around his mouth and his thick dark curls were covering his forehead.

Softly Marc put his hand on his cheeks. He felt the warm of the skin. He felt his happiness. He felt his love.

It felt domestic and normal. It put everything to a stop. The spins of thoughts stopped and there was only David and this moment left.

He took a deep breath and just looked at his son, the baby light - a smiling turtle - was making sure the child wouldn't get scared.

Marc looked at it. Luca had found it in a store and thought it was on brand for them.

Marc would replace it soon, claiming it broke when in reality he just stored it far away, hidden in a box no one ever looked in.

He shook his head and just lifted his baby out the little bed. Without a second thought he sat down in one of the comfy chairs and leaned back, David still sleeping peacefully. He was now resting on his chest.

"I will never leave you" he whispered in his sons hair. Je kept sleeping. "I will love you for the rest of my life and even in death I will always love you. You're my son."

He kissed his head and breathed in. He smelled the soap and shampoo his mother had used when he bathed David.

"You are mine forever and nothing will ever stop that. I love you so much, baby. I will never leave you. I promise. You will never be alone. I will always be with you."

He closed his eyes and locked everything out of his head. Only David mattered. Only his son was important.

But his own words didn't hold any meaning. Not even to himself. Because that's what Valentino Rossi, the man who had walked out on both of them, who had left both - Marc and their beloved baby - had said as well.