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#One of these days God willing I want to direct my own production of this play and oh boy I have *opinions*... XD
theimpossiblescheme · 7 months
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I think I've finally settled on an answer to my long-standing question of "Is it better for Cyrano to simply let Valvert off with a warning at first or to kill him the first chance he gets after the Ballade Duel"? And my answer is "It depends on how good a swordsman Valvert is."
If Valvert actually puts up a good fight against Cyrano, then it makes sense to me that Cyrano isn't going to keep him around long enough to keep being a threat. And in a weird way, it feels more fitting as a conclusion to a fair fight between equals who've both gotten to show the extent of their talents. That's why the 1950 movie's version of the duel is probably my favorite--it feels like Ferrer's Cyrano is actively putting in the effort to keep Cavens' Valvert at a distance. He's not just coasting through the fight, like he would with a less skilled opponent, so the kill at the end feels more earned. But I feel like you don't see that outcome as much in various productions...
If Valvert poses no actual threat to Cyrano, then he's not going to waste his time taking the duel seriously at all. He's purely in it to teach this little pissant a lesson about messing with him, and ultimately Valvert isn't worth the effort of killing. In those cases, it also hits harder when Valvert decides to fight dirty and strike while Cyrano's back is turned--he knows he stands no chance in a fair fight, so he's not going to fight fair. And if Valvert isn't, then neither is Cyrano. I used to think that this staging was mostly to make Cyrano look more sympathetic, but upon reflection I think it shows off his more ruthless side just as well. It not only demonstrates that Cyrano could've easily ended the initial duel almost instantly, but it also shows that he's not afraid of returning the cruelty others show him.
I feel like either way, it still conveys the idea of "Cyrano is not to be fucked with, so watch what you say around him or you're next."
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thevividgreenmoss · 6 months
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I had a couple of friends (my only two friends really lol which two is far far above my historical average for friends, one is above the historical average if we're being Real) over last night to see the movie I made with my cats/co-directors and I made little tickets/keepsakes for both of them lol
Since the first short I randomly slapped together back in January which eventually ended up being incorporated into what this ended up being I liked the idea of keeping this as something I primarily just directly share with people in my own living room, like the only reason I initially put this shit online anywhere is to have an easy way to share it on here with you all in case it's of interest to anyone lol but idk like there's no way to make even five dollars off of this since I don't have the rights to any of the music playing in the background and huge chunks of certain songs/albums are in the shit lmao like almost half an hour of D'Angelo - Voodoo lmfao but like. it cost me literally nothing to make this, I shot the entire thing on my phone and cut it together on my laptop using open source software so there isn't even any cost to recoup so why not include the music I was already listening to ig and past that just share it with directly with anyone that's willing to sit through it
Back in May I was talking to one of my neighbors who is also one of the neighborhood plugs who also raps a little bit just for the fuck of it "I dont make money off music, I'm a trapper for real" (slightly paraphrased it was almost a year ago at this point), but I actually fuck with his music and listened to it of my own volition after he initially directly played a track for me and our other neighbor and the other day I was over to reup and was like 1) I made a movie off your product so truly thank you cause this doesnt happen otherwise and 2) if you check it out and anything jumps out at you we can work on a music video along those lines if you're down which who knows if we'll do that but personally I'd love to. Then he asked me why I haven't been fasting lmao, remembering that I also didn't fast last year. And that led to talking about god and history and america and the whites. He was telling me a bit about another Pakistani guy that buys from him, showed me a picture of the dude, standing with (presumably although I can't say for sure) his father and grandfather.
The picture he showed me, everything he said has been stuck in my head since. The three smiling desi faces, if I had to guess either fellow Kashmiris if not that maybe Pathaan, but especially the old man's face recalling of course my nana's. I wish I could've made a movie in Lahore with him. I do want to make one with my mom, I was thinking of incorporating clips of a walk around the creek at my parent's neighborhood with her into this video but I ended up going a different direction but I do think it could be worth it's own standalone piece. But I do want to do more of these and the process by which it came together is definitely something accessible to everyone like everyone can do this I feel, if anyone wants. But I personally do want to make one with my mom if she's down.
A few days before that aforementioned day in late May I read Prince's unfinished autobiography and among a million things in there that I have not been able to stop seeing or thinking of was what? The way he opened the first chapter with the image of his mother's eyes - the first thing 👁 saw.
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fanficsandfluff · 2 years
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Tickletober 2022 - Day 5: Punishment
A/N: Thank you to @softaneasy who requested this one. Truthfully, I do not ship Stony, nor do I like writing the character of Steve Rogers. And I was initially gonna turn this prompt down. But the writing angel/demon living inside me told me to go outside my comfort zone for this Tickletober. So here we are!
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark
Tony had been acting a bit too snarky at the team meetings nowadays. At first, the crew chalked it up to a bad hair day or waking up on the wrong side of the bed. But after it persisted for three or four meetings, it was clear there was something larger looming over the billionaire philanthropist.
Steve approached Tony after the fifth team meeting where he sent everyone off scoffing, particular Natasha this time. Normally unphased by Tony's words, this meeting's aim had been directed mostly at her.
"Hey," Steve stopped Tony from exiting and they were the only two left in the room, "Do I have to ask?"
"Maybe you do, cap. Be a little more specific."
"Why are you a raving asshole lately?"
The language took Tony by surprise and actually got a grin out of him, "Productivity has been well below average, trying to boost morale by tearing everyone down first, so they can eventually rise together to fight against the stigma. Isn't that was leadership is all about?"
"No, not at all, actually."
"Well, to each their own," Tony then attempted to walk out past Steve, but Captain America gripped onto Tony's shoulder after he passed him and got close enough to the door.
"Tony," Steve sighed, "I know there's more going on here. I'm willing to forgive it all if you just act a little nicer from here on out, hm?"
"We'll see, Rogers," Tony left the room this time, whistling to himself. Steve narrowed his eyes and watched him walk down the hallway, "I'll give you one more chance, Stark."
"And I'll be eagerly awaiting the consequences post said chance," Tony had spun around to deliver his parting remarks and walked backwards for a few paces before turning down a corner.
And another meeting came and went, no changes from Iron Man. This time his target was poor Bruce Banner. Steve bided his time as everyone left the room and even waited for Tony to leave, knowing he was headed for his lab. Tony tended to work on a routine nowadays, so it was easy to track him.
The sliding doors to the lab whooshed open for Steve after he made it downstairs.
"Office hours aren't until tomorrow, sport," Tony chided, readying a pair of goggles and gloves for the work he was about to set out on.
"Oh, I'll be quick. Here to follow up on a threat," Steve was approaching Tony by his work station.
"Threat?" Tony turned around and eyed Steve, "My Captain America doesn't threaten, he moreso saves and leads and throws his little dinner plate around. Oh! You mean about the--"
"Yeah, your punishment, let's call it," Steve was now sporting a grin. The silence between the two hung in the air a few beats too long, and it was long enough for Tony's own smug look to be wiped from his face.
"Wait--" was the only thing he could get out before Steve pinned him against his own work table, high enough for the edge of the table to be caught in the small of Tony's back.
"Jesus, cap, at least take me out to dinner fi-hirst," an unwanted giggle slipped its way out of Tony's lips when he felt thick fingers prodding into his ribs.
"Do you ever stop talking?" Steve asked Tony, wanting to sound exasperated but it mostly came out teasing, with a small smile still on his face. His fingers dug right in, not playing games. This was a punishment, after all, for Tony's constant being a dick to everyone.
Tony yelped and he wanted to shrink down to the floor but Steve's strength and superior girth kept Tony upright. He laughed against his will and it was loud laughter because god dammit Steve knew how to tickle.
"Fuhucking stop!" Tony begged, his hands tightening onto Steve's wrists but was unable to stop their path. Steve worked his hands down until the thumbs dug into the crevices of Tony's hips, mostly exposed due to his low-rise pants. Tony screamed and he did manage to collapse halfway, so Steve's hands had to stop tickling him there, thank god. But now Steve pulled one of Tony's arms up, easy enough since the billionaire hadn't let go of his wrist yet, and pinned that hand to the table.
"N-nno," Tony protested, "No, Rogers, don't. Don't do it."
"Don't do what? Get under here?" he fluttered the fingers of his free hand under Tony's arm, which was now wide open.
"SHIHIhiiiit! You bastard!" Tony growled, stomping his foot on the floor, "Lemme go! Let me go right now!"
"You're in no position to be making threats now, Stark," Steve smirked and he used all the force of his fingertips to dig in and around Tony's armpit, partially exposed to the elements because of the very short sleeve shirt Tony was wearing. Not quite a tank top, but tight enough to leave a space for skin-to-skin touches.
Tony laughed, throwing his head back as his other hand came up to try and ward off Steve's fingers. But he was laughing so hard his coordination was off.
"I'm gonna get you to apologize to everyone," Steve spoke about serious matters as if he wasn't literally tickling his friend and coworker to near death, "And you're not gonna take out whatever shit you got going on on the team."
"OkAY! OKAY!" Tony agreed immediately.
Steve rose a brow and he smirked, "I didn't think you'd cave that quickly. When am I supposed to deliver my big speech?" he pulled Tony until he was standing again and he now rested both his hands on either side of Tony's stomach.
"Plehehease no," Tony giggled and it was almost cute. Hands were at Steve's wrists once more, waiting for the inevitable.
"I have to. This isn't a real punishment if I don't get the worst spot on you," Steve smiled once more, a bigger, brighter one this time. And both hands wreaked havoc on Tony's belly. One hand vibrated its claw shape right in the middle and the other slipped under said tight shirt that had already risen up and was scratching at the tender skin across Tony's waistband.
Now Tony really did scream. His laughter rung out loud and clear and his arms couldn't do a thing. He tried hunching forward, falling to the floor, considered head-butting Steve for a hot second there, but nothing came to fruition. Tony laughed so hard he snorted as Steve's fingers finally lifted off his very ticklish torso.
"Gohohod," Tony snorted again and he hated it, "You're even more of an asshole than me, old man," he was breathing heavily, wiping sweat from his brow. He watched as Steve was walking out of his lab.
"Maybe you just needed a little lightening of your spirits," Steve said in return and before he got in the elevator to go back upstairs, he added, "I hope you've learned your lesson."
Tony gave Steve a thumbs up followed by a very pronounced middle finger. Steve laughed as the elevator doors closed and Tony huffed out a chuckle. Maybe he did need that. Hm, tickle punishment works. Who knew?
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motherofblurbs · 1 year
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I haven't always been proud of who I am.
I was, once upon a time, a product of my environment. An angry teenager looking to be accepted; therefore willing to maroon anyone just to make someone laugh.
A clueless shell of a person, who grew up in a town that would hold a nazi rally downtown mere months after I left the school system.
I was malleable, I was impressionable, I was in need of acceptance. My white peers used slurs in passing and so did I; for I had no better knowledge.
I was scared and new to exploring my sexuality while condemning those who wore it proudly to hell; for I had no better examples.
My own father had told me if I ever ended up 'being gay' I would have to move out. I would never be allowed at family gatherings, because my queerness demoted me from family to scum.
Above all, my sexuality was contagious. The thought of it seeping into the bodies of my impressionable & innocent family seemed like an unnecessary disaster that I wanted to avoid. So I kept it to myself.
The same man who claimed to love me, who claimed the want to support me through it all, laughed in my face when I told him I thought I was depressed. In fact, he urged me to read the bible; because that was the solution and not therapy and certainly not medication.
Medication makes you weak, I learned. It means you are so heavily controlled by your emotions that you must take the easy way out. A pill to fix all of your problems? That's not real.
For many years, I rejected who I really was and mimicked the behavior of those I loved and trusted most.
I supported hateful ideals, cruel legislation and cheered when 'liberal' politicians lost their lead in the polls.
How could I not? Those who stroked my hair and assured me they would love me always, they told me there was no other way. This was the right way. This is what God intended.
Then in the light of my conscious growing legs and beginning it's first wobbly steps, I transformed. I was no longer my father's daughter, I was a rebel.
I was no longer the sweet and kind girl they had grown to know and love, I was a villain.
"How could I go to hell?" I thought. I wasn't a bad person. I was still kind and sweet, I just also loved women. That condemns me to hell?
Who I choose to spend the rest of my life with, takes away everything else I am made of. The heart, the emotions, the resilience, and the mind were all lost in the translation because of a simple bible verse.
To my family's horror, I didn't just stop at being gay. I also excluded certain words from my vocabulary.
Strange, something that seemed so minor to me, would become a major conflict in my interpersonal relationships at just sixteen years of age.
I was the constant talk at dinner, I was relentlessly pushed into a metaphorical corner for refusing to call fellow human beings degrading and offensive names.
"When did you become so sensitive?"
Fuck you, I'm not sensitive, I just care. I care about others, I care about what words matter even if they don't matter to me. I wanted to scream and toss the main course on the floor in retaliation.
Yet, I didn't want to feed the narrative, that I was now a warrior for all things 'politically correct'. So I did my best to take it on the chin. In hopes that one day, my family would simply see what I did.
Except, they didn't. That same hatred that was reserved for people outside of our family, was now directed at me.
My empathy kept growing in the opposite direction of my hometown. I was steadily heading to the point of no return, in more ways than one.
At the same time that my empathy grew for strangers, a resentment built for my loved ones.
How can you pride yourself in being loving, and reject your love for me, because of what I stand for?
Most of all, how dare you call yourself loving, when you are clearly so very hateful.
Then it all came full circle. All of those times that a slur slipped from my lips in ignorance, or all of those times I 'disagreed' with someone's 'lifestyle' had come back for my adolescence with a vengeance.
I was now the subject of hate from my house made of love.
But at least, now, I am proud.
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johnhardinsawyer · 2 years
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“Like an itchy sweater.”
John Sawyer
Bedford Presbyterian Church
2 / 22 / 23 – Ash Wednesday
Isaiah 58:1-12
Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21
Psalm 51
“Like an itchy sweater. . .”
Two weeks ago, today, at a chapel service at a small Christian college near Lexington, Kentucky called Asbury University, a volunteer soccer coach for the school, named Zach Meerkreebs, preached a sermon about love.  At the end of the sermon, Meerkreebs offered a simple invitation:  
If you need to hear the voice of God – the Father in Heaven. . . that is perfect in love, gentle and kind – [you] come [on] up here and experience his love. . . Don’t waste this opportunity.  I pray that this sits on you guys like an itchy sweater, and you gotta itch, you gotta take care of it.[1]
After he walked off stage, Meerkreebs was certain that he had “totally whiffed” the sermon and he texted his wife, “Latest stinker.  I’ll be home soon.”
But something strange happened.  Eighteen of the students at that chapel service stayed afterwards to pray.  Maybe they didn’t want to waste the opportunity to draw close to the love of God, as Coach Meerkreebs had said.  Maybe there was some spiritual discomfort or longing – sitting on them like an itchy sweater – and they just needed to scratch that itch.  They started praying, and singing, and. . . they haven’t stopped.  Two weeks later – day and night – they haven’t stopped.
There have been livestreams of this so-called Asbury Revival running online since early on.  People have traveled from across the country and even from other countries to be in the room where it is happening.  Of course, there have been people commenting on the revival – ranging from how it is either a blessing from the Holy Spirit or the product of a bunch of overly-emotional young people who should just go home and take a nap.  
It is not my place to raise questions about the movement of the Holy Spirit, especially in light of tonight’s scripture readings – especially in light of what we have gathered together to do this evening, namely, to worship the living God, to turn to God in repentance, to acknowledge our own sin, and to voice our trust in God’s mercy – not unlike our Christian siblings down in Kentucky at this very hour.
Ash Wednesday is one of those times that fits most of us like a spiritual itchy sweater.  It can seem like a foreign concept – declaring a fast in a culture that really is only into fasting if it is done intermittently and in the name of weight loss, acknowledging that we are dust and to dust we shall return in a world where we are willing to try just about anything to avoid acknowledging our own dusty human state much less returning to the dust from whence we came, and repenting among a people who don’t really like to acknowledge that we’ve been traveling in the wrong direction (in how we think or act).
One of the reasons these Ash Wednesday activities feel so itchy for us is that we know they are good for us to do, even if they go against what is normally expected of us – or what we normally want to do.  The scriptures are clear, though, and we are told that if we scratch the spiritual itch, it might just lead us into a deeper relationship with God, and this is good. . . right?  
As your pastor – and as a duly ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament – I can tell you, yes:  it is good to foster a deeper relationship with God.  It is very good.  That being said, tonight’s scripture readings tell us that there are some ways of fostering a deeper relationship with God that are better than others.  
In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells his disciples – he tells us – “Look, don’t make a big, fake show of your devotion to God.  If you are truly devoted to God, your devotion needs to be genuine and humble.”  This is one of the marks of whatever is happening down at Asbury University.  It is a very public thing that is taking place, but it seems to be a genuine and humble thing.  As pastor and writer Nadia Bolz-Weber – who never minces her words – writes,
Noticeably absent from the front of the chapel are:  flashy praise bands, lighting systems, projectors and screens, celebrity worship leaders and people over 25.  There is such a simplicity, and dare I say, a humility to it.[2]
One question that may come out of this whole revival thing – and it’s a question that is kind of itching at the back of my mind – is, how will God work through the people who have turned to God in deep and new ways?  In the future, someone might say, “Hey, in 2023, there was this time when all of these people turned toward God.  What difference did it make in the life of the world?”  
This is where tonight’s challenging reading from the latter part of Isaiah comes into focus.  The people who first heard these words were living in the shattered land of Judah after returning from exile in Babylon.  Life was very hard and the people were trying to rebuild their homeland.  They were trying to rebuild their faith, too.  But God wanted them to know that when it came to faith, the people couldn’t just go through the motions.  
“O God, we are fasting.  Did you see us?  
We have humbled ourselves.  Did you notice?”  
To which the Lord replies, “That’s nice, but the spiritual practice that matters most to me is saving other people from oppression and satisfying their needs.”[3]  
God says,
“This is what I want from you.  
Make this your spiritual practice:  
Loose the bonds of injustice,
undo the thongs of the yoke,
let the oppressed go free,
break every yoke while you’re at it.
Share your bread with the hungry,
bring the homeless poor into your house;
When you see the naked, cover them,
and do not hide yourself away –
refusing to care for the people who need you the most.”[4]  
You should know that these verses from Isaiah were often cited by abolitionists in the 1800s who were standing up against the institution of slavery and seeking to free and shelter people who were enslaved, even if their loving actions of sheltering runaways broke the unjust fugitive slave laws of the time.[5]  
Our Presbyterian friends down the street at the Windham Presbyterian Church have a church building that was used as a stop on the Underground Railroad.  The people of that church likely read these verses and lived them.
In so many ways, these specific actions that we read in Isaiah – freedom from bondage, food for the hungry, shelter, and care – are the product of a close relationship with God.  Turning toward God is not just a private thing that happens within our hearts and souls – amidst the rubble of Jerusalem after the exile, or at a revival in Kentucky or at an Ash Wednesday service in New Hampshire.  For Isaiah, true repentance – turning toward God – is also an outward turning toward those who are in need, longing to draw close to the liberating love of Jesus.  This isn’t just about evangelism or winning souls to Christ.  No, Jesus is about winning the day with love-in-action by the power of the Holy Spirit through regular people like us.  
I do not know what you may or may have not given up for Lent, but if you were to take up one thing, I would invite you to explore what it would mean to lovingly turn outwards instead of inwards.  Who do you know that needs to know the love of God?  And, just as importantly, who do you not know that needs to know the love of God?  Who do you need to meet in the next forty days to not just tell them they are loved, but show them they are loved by the God who is all about alleviating suffering, freeing us from the things that bind us, bringing wholeness and healing to our bodies, minds, and spirits, and raising us from the dead?
I’m not going to tell you who you need to meet, but the “who” in this case might just push you out of your comfort zone.  And I’m not going to tell you, “how,” except to say that I hope your “how” is genuine and humble.  Now if this all sounds like one big uncomfortable itchy Lenten sweater, welcome to the life of faith.  Welcome to the life of discipleship.  Welcome to the life of taking up your cross and following Jesus.
Remember, we are all dust. . . all of us. . .  and to dust we shall return.  Yet while our humble human dust lives and breathes, my prayer is that God would breathe life into others through us by the power of the Holy Spirit.  
As someone said not too long ago – to end a sermon that began a revival:  “Don’t waste this opportunity.  I pray that this sits on you guys like an itchy sweater, and you gotta itch, you gotta take care of it.”
May the Spirit move you to scratch that itch. . .
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  
------
[1] https://www.thefp.com/p/why-students-in-kentucky-have-been.   Edited, JHS, for clarity.
[2] https://thecorners.substack.com/p/on-longing-and-the-asbury-revival.
[3] Isaiah 58:3, 58:6-8.  Paraphrased, JHS.
[4] Isaiah 58:6-8.  Paraphrased, JHS, with help from J. Blake Couey.
[5] https://cdn.fbsbx.com/v/t59.2708-21/330716153_1191984388189747_7550595510160404322_n.pdf/g.CoueySchipper.pdf?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=0cab14&_nc_ohc=pr2j2qW3zGQAX-geFTY&_nc_ht=cdn.fbsbx.com&oh=03_AdS44PG2vf9hE6i1p0COR9irfc_DRcbMgWSQboroFRcpGQ&oe=63F6D658&dl=1
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notoriously yours | jay park
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✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.
so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?
and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?
✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]
✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au
✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)
✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)
✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333
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Jay Park is a rich kid.
Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).
Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.
Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.
Well, his friends beg to differ.
In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.
So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)
Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.
Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.
They're doing anything but studying.
In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.
"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.
"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.
"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.
Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.
Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.
"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."
"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.
Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.
"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.
Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."
Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.
"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."
"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.
"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.
One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.
"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.
Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.
Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.
"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.
"What kind of bet are we talking here?"
Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.
Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.
"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."
Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.
"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.
Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.
And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.
Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.
"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.
Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.
Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".
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Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.
He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.
Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.
He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.
Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.
He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.
Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.
Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).
But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?
The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.
Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.
But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.
That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?
And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.
At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.
Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.
He might as well pay someone to date him.
There's no harm in that, is there?
He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.
He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.
And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.
Simple as that.
Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.
And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.
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You love your friends, you do.
Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.
But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.
But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.
"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."
You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.
You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.
You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.
You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.
Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.
And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.
So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.
And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.
For the most part.
Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.
"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.
"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.
Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.
She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."
You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.
Been there, done that.
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College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.
Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.
Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.
It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.
Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.
Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.
Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.
You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:
"Fake date me."
You blink up at him.
Yeah, definitely not expected.
But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.
"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.
You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.
And he's smiling right at you.
Curse him and his smile.
But no, you're not giving into it.
Not yet, at least.
"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.
"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.
"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.
"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"
"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.
In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."
Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"
This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.
"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.
You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!
The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.
"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.
"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"
"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."
"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"
"--desperate? Yeah."
"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"
"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.
"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.
"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.
Jay hates that you're right.
You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.
You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.
Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.
"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."
Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.
Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.
Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.
"Wait, Y/N!"
You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.
He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."
You nearly stop breathing.
Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.
And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.
The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.
Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.
Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.
But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.
First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.
Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).
Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.
All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).
And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.
"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.
The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.
You sigh, then nod.
"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."
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The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.
You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.
Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.
Great.
You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.
"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?
"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."
Bingo.
"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.
"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.
But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.
Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.
"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.
"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"
Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."
"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.
Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.
Cute.
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"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.
You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!
"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.
"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.
How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.
"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."
"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."
Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.
"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.
"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."
You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.
"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.
"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."
If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.
"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.
Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."
Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.
"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."
It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.
You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.
Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.
"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.
"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.
"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.
And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.
As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.
And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.
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The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.
The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.
And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.
"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.
The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:
~ ~ ~
"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.
"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.
You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.
You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."
He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."
"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.
Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."
"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.
"3,2,1."
"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.
"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.
"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.
"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.
"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.
"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.
"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.
"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.
When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.
Obviously.
~ ~ ~
"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)
What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.
"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.
Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."
Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."
Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.
He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.
"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."
Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."
Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.
Jake suddenly gasps in realization.
"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.
Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:
"Jay, are you in? It's me!"
Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.
But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--
"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.
Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.
"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.
"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.
Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.
"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."
"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.
Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.
Weird.
"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.
Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"
"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.
"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"
"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."
Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.
Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.
"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.
"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.
Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."
Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.
"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.
"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.
"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:
~ ~ ~
You're late.
This never happens.
But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.
You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.
Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.
You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.
"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.
"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.
"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.
"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.
"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.
Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.
Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.
The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.
"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.
Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.
Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.
"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.
"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.
And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.
And the next.
~ ~ ~
"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.
Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.
You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.
"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.
If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.
Weird.
"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.
Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"
You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.
He wonders why.
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When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).
Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.
"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.
Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."
You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.
"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.
"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.
"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.
The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.
"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.
You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.
"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."
You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.
You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.
"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.
His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.
"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.
"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.
Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.
The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.
"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.
"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.
"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.
You stare back at him in silence. Oh.
Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:
"Huh?"
Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?
You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.
"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.
Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.
You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.
"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.
"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.
Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.
As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.
"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."
Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.
"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.
"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.
"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.
"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.
"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.
"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.
You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"
"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.
You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.
Your heart beats faster at the view.
You wonder why.
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It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.
You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.
It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).
It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.
Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N
Jay [3:09AM]: hi
Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn
Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so
Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up
Jay [3:11AM]: come outside
Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am
Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew
Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice
Jay [3:15AM]: :)
You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.
You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?
(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)
And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.
The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.
"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.
The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.
But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.
"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."
"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.
"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.
A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?
"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.
"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.
"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."
Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"
You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."
Oh. Awkward.
You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.
"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.
"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.
The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.
You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.
You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.
"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.
"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.
You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.
"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"
You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.
But you knew where he was coming from.
You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.
"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.
He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.
"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.
You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."
Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.
Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.
Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.
"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."
His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.
The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.
Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.
You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.
But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.
You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.
"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.
"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.
Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.
That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.
That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.
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When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.
Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.
Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.
In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.
"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.
"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.
Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"
Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."
There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.
"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."
Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.
The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.
"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.
"Huh? Calling what off?"
"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."
But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.
Something he's scared he's already lost.
You.
⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺
The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.
Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.
Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.
Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.
And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.
"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.
"Hi."
"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.
"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.
"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.
Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:
"He called it off. It's over. The bet."
"Oh."
Silence.
Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.
"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."
Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?
Fuck it.
"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.
You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.
"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"
"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."
Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?
"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.
"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.
Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."
"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.
Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."
"Mm, and what's that?"
And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.
His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.
The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.
You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.
Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.
Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.
⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺
The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.
Jay drives you to class that day.
And everyday after that.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :
✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3
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p-antomime · 3 years
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poisonous pleasure.
— minors don’t interact.
— wc: 860.
content + warnings: 18+, including: dom!gojo*, religious themes so read at your own risk, unprotected sex, teacher x student, degradation (and a bit of praise tbh), corruption kink (?), vaginal sex, public sex, breeding kink, exhibitionism, creampie, cum play.
* = i am not sure if i should put him as hard dom or not.
pairings: teacher!satoru gojō x reader
— jjk masterlist.
"You were always so sweet", was what was running through your mind as firm hands were squeezing your waist above the waistband of your slightly pleated skirt at the same time your body was making jerky back and forth movements and your psyche seemed to be getting cloudier and cloudier.
To be honest, you weren't "sweet" because you wanted to be, but rather out of a need not to be seen as rude and thus be able to be the teachers' favorite. And, well... you were. But not in the expected way.
Not in the expected way, since now your hands were leaning against one side of the bathroom cubicle smelling of cleaning products with the buttons of your white dress shirt open lazily, as if someone had tried to sexually assault you on the way home even though you didn't even step foot outside the college that day after classes that lasted until six o'clock at night; your eyes ajar as droplets of sweat dripped down your forehead as if they made a holy path to sin. Heavy breathing, breasts rising and falling rapidly to match the rhythm of his hips that slammed against hers in brutal, rapid, almost naughty movements.
However, it was not a bad situation. Actually, not at all, because when you got home you would still have to explain to your parents why you were arriving in that state if apparently your routine that day was the same as every other day of that long week, besides that, Y/N would probably still have to walk past some college students who were at the university at that time for whatever reason... and your wobbly legs would definitely wobble a little more at that humiliating hour.
And that's exactly what he wanted you to feel: humiliation, pure and poisonous humiliation, because no matter how many times he made you attend classes during the day or afternoon with your panties dripping with his cum, or how many times he silently guided you into the university library to sneak his hand under the hem of your graceful skirt to finger your most intimate parts, you always came back. And for the hundredth time that man would spit in your direction whatever degrading words his dirty little mind could think of at the time; and for the hundredth time you would end up with his cock buried deep inside you, stretching your walls the way you inevitably loved, and the way Satan might like too.
— My sweet dirty little girl. — He whispered close to your ear accompanied by a thrust a little stronger than the previous ones that made you almost unbalanced and inevitably try to grab hold of some firmer part of that bathroom cubicle. In vain, obviously. — You love being my favorite cumslut, don't you? — His teeth left a light bite on your earlobe while a light mocking laugh escaped from between his lips. — Always so willing to take my cock regardless of the time, regardless of the place. I'm so proud that my slut is so useful to me. — Again using his hands to exert a crushing pressure that would definitely leave fingerprints on your lightly clothed skin from the skirt, he resumed starting a fast rhythm against your inner walls.
And then, at a certain moment Gojo inadvertently ended up cumming inside you in a nonchalant manner that, God forbid, was no longer frightening to you. You had grown accustomed to his inconsequential actions and were deliberately tasting the poison of abyssal pleasure that man was willing to deliver to you. And the slight moan that he let escape close to your ear made an electric wave of pleasure run down your back in the form of a latent shiver.
— Oh, it's already... almost seven o'clock at night, I've used you for less time than I would have liked. — Gojo ran his tongue over hus lips, slowly withdrawing from you and resting his beautifully blue eyes on your pussy that was now letting a small amount of his cum escape, at that sight he used two of his long fingers to push the liquid deeper inside you. — You should straighten up, kitten. — He lifted your face to the side to look you straight in the eye one last time in that situation, but not that day. — You don't want to make your parents late for 8 o'clock mass, do you? — Trying to think straight, Y/N shook her head negatively from side to side. — I bet you don't. — A sideways smile appeared on his thin lips.
And then Gojo turned away to get dressed and try to fix his white hair as best he could. It didn't take long before you saw him pick up the executive briefcase where he carried almost everything that concerned him in his career as a university professor, and the backpack where he would keep his clothes when he arrived at the church where he would celebrate the 8 pm mass that you and your parents would be attending.
But he liked to say that he was not a religious man.
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darkalley-jk · 3 years
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IRRÉSISTIBLE. 02
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Yan! Teacher Jungkook x Student reader
Summary : you never knew that your gentle nature will be the reason to attract the worst monster you will ever meet ...
Warning : yandere themes , stalking , obssession , assault , age difference
Part one Part Three
" Miss .... Miss , you dropped your card " for his luck you were so into finding some cash to buy a drink you didnt pay attention to the card that fell from your bag , he internally was thanking the gods for being in his side , they keep giving him chances to talk to you , they are delivering you to him , there's no other explanation , yes the gods he never believed in are now helping him get his treasure , for you he is ready to believe in anything he used to call rubbish to do anything he thought is not suitable for him and a waste of time for you nothing is right , you are his morals and ethics everything for you , because you deserve it , you deserve everything he is willing to give to you untill the day he will lock you in your shared cozy house when he will make sure no human being will get to hurt you when he will make sure you wont even leave your room when he wont let you get corrupted by the net and the people in it nor the tv and all the horrible ideas in its products he will make sure you only hear and good and positive news from him and if you happen to watch something it'll be with him under his judgement , untill you'll fully let him take care of you, oh how much he loves the idea of worshipping you and doing everything for you cooking healthy food for you even if you wouldn't like it he needs to make sure your body is well ,to bath you even if you are shy, he needs to see you relaxed and not wasting your energy on such acts that he can do for you , he is planning to take an early retirement just to focus kn you his little angel ... When you returned to see him he was in awe he couldnt stop thinking of how pretty you are , you never stop looking so pretty , your eyes his galaxy , your lips his favorite fruit. he wanna kiss you tenderly all over it , he was in his own mind he didnt focus on the fact you thanked him took it and bowed , for him , when you turned back to your first direction it was when he snapped " arent you one of my students ? , You look familiar " " umm , yes , again thank you " you smiled anxiously i mean he is your professor after all you didnt want to mess it , " you look a bit lost " " umm kind of im new here , i transfered last year " , as if he didn't know , " i can take you where you want " " i was trying to buy some drink but- " before you finish talking and telling him you know where you wanna go , you found him leading the way you followed him behind it was getting you unnecessary attention since a lot of students eyed you questionably but for him , he was happy , not only was he helping you but showing everyone you were his , in his mind he believed this , and so you both arrived " what do you want ? " " Some coke " " no thats so unhealthy , especially that your stomach must be empty by now " he made you extremely stressed you were never in such situations you want to let him know that you can make such decisions for yourself but you didnt have the courage knowing at the end of the day he is still your professor , by this reaction he got he thought you are such a cute obedient girl , such a sweet angel , accepting him taking care of you , knowing jow wrong you are and letting him take control over you because you were too innocent and small to make such decisions for yourself , he felt a big urge to protect you more , he kept imagining bad scenarios imagining if he didnt stalk i mean follow you today youd have dropped your card and now youd have hurt your stomach oh no only gods know how many other mistakes and bad decisions you make he needed to follow you more , he needed to install some cameras inside your house , he convinced himself it was all for you , to protect you untill he have you , all of you .
After he bought you , yes you insisted on paying but he pretended he too was buying something and since you were new it was like a welcoming thing , what an excuse , when handing it to you he unnecessary stretched his other arm to grap your hand , he engulfed your hand with both of his , so unnecessary but he camouflaged it with some cheesy "drink it well, and please make sure to always drink juices instead of soda " what a petty excuse to touch you to feel your soft hands your soft hands he imagined last night wrapped around him so soft and delicate. around his thick cock that was throbbing to be inside you ,where he belongs ... With another pitiful " forget to ask your name " like he didnt know , again . Which was so odd for you , since when professors care about such irrelevant things , it started striking a question inside your mind , a one you forget later with all the lectures you had .
For his luck you had a busy day , enough for him to break into your small apartment and install cameras in all the places , and as a reward for his hard work to keep you safe he thought you wouldnt mind to give him one of your dirty pants , the smell was too much for him he cant wait to be between your legs , smelling his favorite flower .
After you arrived home you barely cooked anything you were so tired you wanted to take a shower and sleep to wake up so early , do some assignments then go , which was so sad for him seeing you thru the cameras not taking care if yourself , oh how happy he would've felt if he cooked for you a healthy meal , showered you and helped you to sleep like he was supposed to do .
You slept so fondly but he couldnt , not when you were so cutely sleeping in your big bed that would've been enough for you both , him cuddling you from the back , see you sleep , feel the rise and fall of chest and cup your beautiful breasts massaging them to help you relax with random cheek kisses while telling you how much he loves you , what a sweet perfect couple moment .
He wished you replied to his new comments but he is still happy you are reducing your sns time , moving so perfectly with his future plans , made him all confident you were really made for him . His eve .
Days passed by , you everyday had to bump by him , he was practically everywhere you were , you started getting too conscious of his existence , around you , started being a bit relaxed around him , you kinda started liking his gentle manly figure , you liked the attention he was giving you , you felt important in his eyes , you kept telling yourself , it was all in your mind and that all the places you met him were around the university , that he was nice cuz you were new and clumsy , he must pity you that's all but you still liked it .
Another day , he was so happy to see you after masturbating to you all the night , you make him cum fastly like he is some teenager boy , you make him do weird things he never knew he ever had them within him and yes , he is liking it so much they bring him pleasure . He cant wait to see you opening the door and entering , he was eager and kept checking the door ... Only to see you walking after some random guy and giggling with him ... Only to get him mad and crazy like no other time . You should've never messed with this, not his jealousy and possessiveness... He needed to teach you something . And he will.
Note : hey so i felt like adding a new chap tho no one asked sjsj , if you happened to see this can you please drop some comments or give me some asks ill gladly respond to them , thank you so much , also i still dont know how to make those little links ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
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6sakusa · 4 years
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‘why’ part 2, miya atsumu.
wc : 1.6k
warnings : post break up themes, implications of toxic relationship, cheating.
part 1
it had been a year, yes, an entire year had passed and yet miya atsumu still couldn’t get his mind off of you, in fact, it seemed to get worse as time progressed. the thought of you not being here by his side was suddenly becoming a reality and it took his mind by a sickening storm. initially, he believed that you’d come back and he’d get the chance to sort out the entire situation, perhaps beg for your forgiveness and give you the speech he had been practicing for the past months that would guarantee the two of you getting back together.
he made sure to change the locks of what used to be your shared apartment just to make sure if you had come by to get the rest of your stuff you wouldn’t be able to get inside unless he was home. he took almost all the extra precautions necessary and he had the upmost faith that you be back in his arms soon enough. and when you were, he swore to himself that he would never let you go. he had it all planned out, the two of you would settle down together and have a beautiful family, all his past digressions would be forgotten.
it had even become so bad to the point where he had begun skipping out practices, babbling to his teammates about how “y/n might come back today!”. they would all shoot him sympathetic glances at his words knowing that even though he was too blind to see it you would be the biggest fool to come crawling back and therefore, it would never happen.
it took osamu talking some harsh sense into him much to bokuto and hinata’s dismay to get him to understand the severity of the entire situation.
“you do realise you cheated on her? over and over again, why would she come back? be realistic, you two are over and you’ll probably never see her again, it’s been months.” atsumu glanced up at his brothers harsh words but chose to disregard them. “you’ll see, you’ll all see.”
but the day never came, he never heard your light knock on the door, the clicking of your heels as you walked into your shared apartment, the smile that etched your lips as you locked eyes with him, your laugh that echoed throughout the living-room when he told a joke that he knew you’d find funny. and he missed all those things with his entire heart, it was from then on he understood that you were irreplaceable.
looking back on it he couldn’t believe how he had made you feel, he wondered how long you had known, how many nights did you cry alone knowing that he was lying to you? how hard was it to pretend that everything was alright because you wanted to hold on to your relationship with him more than anything? how long did you believe that it was going to be possible to fix things? why did you give up…?
“don’t you think you're becoming a little too obsessed?” his brother asked the day he proposed hiring a private investigator to find out where you’d gone off to. even though he respected your privacy it was hard knowing nothing about your current situation or at the very least, if you were alright. all of your friends had disconnected from him and you had completely ceased speaking to his, even your parents were no longer anywhere to be found. more than anything he just wanted to know that you were alive and okay.
“she’s probably fine and is doing better off now.” his twin assured him, but those words didn’t have the comfort that was intended. better off? he thought to himself. but the two of you had promised to always love each other, he’d even given you a ring for God’s sake, how could you be better off? how could you function? why weren’t you broken the way he was? were you not searching for him too? you knew exactly where to find him if you wanted to, maybe, you just didn’t care and atsumu couldn’t bear the thought of it.
and maybe, that’s what led him to a late night walk at 11pm in the midst of the night to clear his head. he knew he didn’t deserve you but that didn’t mean he could live without you. he knew what he needed to do and he was willing to go to any lengths to do it, to be better for you, and to be loved by you once again, and in return he’d be the perfect boyfriend and this time he’d keep his promise, this time you’d keep the ring on.
the frosty air of the midnight streets prickled against his skin but it was nothing compared to the feeling of emptiness that was left inside him from the moment you were gone, it was almost as if he was immune to everything, he was completely numb and it was even beginning to worry those who were closest to him. even osamu had stated he’d never seen his twin brother this depressed in his entire life, and what was worse is that he couldn’t do anything to fix it.
atsumu was only pulled out of his thoughts by the dim light radiating from a corner store, the crimson neon sign that echoed ‘open’ was slowly dying out but he paid no attention to it as he pushed open the door, becoming engulfed in the warm atmosphere that originated from the artificial heaters. he sighed to himself rubbing his palm together in a pathetic attempt to create friction and that’s when he felt it. a thud in the side of his shoulder followed by rattling of various products hitting the floor.
“my bad, let me help you there.” he watched as the figure before him froze at the sound of his voice and he couldn't believe he didn’t notice at first. even though your hat was gracefully hiding your face he should’ve known at the familiar scent of your perfume.
“y/n?” his voice was unsteady even though he’d imagined this moment countless times. he had an entire speech prepared for you, what was he going to say again? he couldn’t recall, his mind went blank at the sight of you and by the way you still hadn’t moved, not even to look up at him told that you had almost the same reaction, except the feelings that erupted in your chests were entirely different. atsumu was blinded by love and you on the other hand, hate. you were on two opposite ends of the spectrum but that was something your ex-boyfriend refused to acknowledge.
“i’ve been looking everywhere for you, i can’t believe you’re here, did you come back for me? i’ve been wa—“
his voice was cut off by a man who turned the corner to see you collecting items off the ground. “babe, are you okay?” he rushed to your side to assist you.
babe? atsumu thought to himself, maybe he has the wrong person, yes definitely, this man must be confused. he’s probably mistaken you for someone else since you’re wearing that pesky hat, afterall it does make it hard to see your true identity. what a fool, he had half the mind to shoo him away since he was bothering you—
“yeah i’m fine.” you responded turning to face the male with a smile and there it was .. the feeling of his heart clenching when you looked up at him for a brief second as if he wasn’t even important to you. this wasn’t how he imagined this to go, and who the hell is this porcupine getting all handsy with you? and why are you responding to him? there’s no way.. it couldn’t be..
“y/n is this a friend of yours?” the man stopped shooting atsumu a handsome smile, the male’s build wasn’t much different from his own and he could tell that he was in athletics of some type. his demeanor wasn’t necessarily friendly per se, instead it he held an air of indifference around him. if he hadn’t just seen him getting all smitten with you there was no doubt it would be hard for him to imagine it.
“no hajime.” atsumu snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of your voice, it was still like a drug to him and he hated the way it was saying someone elses name and not his. you had no idea of the things he would do just to get you to say you loved him again, he wanted to hear it out of that beautiful mouth of yours accompanied by your pretty voice.
“he’s nobody.” you gave him one more glance and he noticed that there was an unrecognisable look in your eye. it was so cold and uncaring that it took him a while to process your words as the two of them barged past him.
he’s nobody? what are you saying? did you not recognise him? no .. of course you did he looked the exact same, so why would you say that? and that was the moment his whole life shattered before him. the moment he watched you walk out of the store, hand in hand with the man next to you, a smile beaming on your face, eyes full of love that used to be directed at him and he couldn’t help but stare even though it pained him more than anything he’d ever felt in his life.
the last time miya atsumu cried this hard was when he was six years old, but this day had beaten it by a landslide.
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so-writing · 4 years
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Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (5)
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all parts in the master list
Note: ‘Someday We’ll Know’ by New Radicals is the song for this part so I recommend listening it while you read, and also regularly because it is a beautiful song - also editing is trash once again because I just write and post like a maniac would
++
The pounding headache you’d woken up with hours ago had now reduced itself to a dull ache behind your eyebrows. It was enough to distract you from the arm wrapped around your waist but not enough to ignore the hard member pressed against the small of your back. 
You knew who was laying behind you and while you knew it was a perfectly natural thing, you felt shock due to the fact the Matthew Tkachuk was sporting wood while cuddled up with your body. 
His breathing was irregular and his heart was beating fast. You could tell because his face was crushed into your neck and his chest was pressed against your back. 
He was awake. 
You had to unwrap yourself from his body without giving him any indication that you knew about his ‘situation.’
*
“Fuck, I really need to pee!” 
She hurried out of the bed and booked it to the bathroom at such a breakneck speed that Matthew was sure he’d gotten away with it. 
He rolled onto his stomach and willed his boner away. This was not the time or place for anything sexual.
Matthew heard the sound of the shower turn on, sighing in relief that she was beginning her day and was probably completely unaware of what had just taken place. 
He sighed heavily and, remembering that there was no game and an evening practice, went back to sleep.
*
“Nope,” you muttered to yourself as the hot water ran down your chest, “this is not a thing I should be feeling. Absolutely fucking not.”
You couldn’t get the feeling of Matthew’s body pressed against yours out of your head and it was annoying because you knew better. 
The civility between the two of you was just blossoming and the last thing you needed was to think about his naked body while the two of you tiptoed around each other masquerading as friends for everyone else’s sake. 
No, it wasn’t a thing. You wouldn’t let it be. You weren’t attracted to him, there was no way you could be. Up until a day or two ago, he wasn’t even nice to you. You weren’t into assholes, and there was no doubt in your mind that Matthew was an asshole. 
While you were on it, what the fuck was with the shit he’d said last night? He wanted to cuddle with you, when twenty-four hours prior he had you sleeping alone on the floor?
Sure, he’d been drunk but still, it didn’t make any fucking sense. As far as you knew, you were not Matthew’s type and didn’t think even drunk him would have any interest in touching you. 
You chalked it up to just another reason you could say he was an asshole decided to read anything into it. 
The once hot water was now barely room temperature by the time you’d worked through your thoughts and you almost finished your shower until another thing, not from the night before, came to mind.
‘You ought to get dressed though, you’ve got goosebumps like all over your body.’
‘All over your body.’
Why was he looking so closely in the first place? 
*
Matthew knocked on the bathroom door to make sure he was completely alone, though hours had gone by and there was no way she was still in the shower.
The lack of response from the other side of the door made had him smiling as he entered to brush his teeth and take his own shower. 
He noted the few products that weren’t his sitting on the shower shelf. Picking up one of the bottles and rolling it in his hand he wondered out loud, “Lord of Misrule? What the fuck is Lush?”
Matthew was a 3-in-1 type of guy. Fancy bath products didn’t do it for him, what was the point? That didn’t stop him from using it anyway. 
Thinking about the previous night, the earliest thing he could clearly recall was taking his first round of shots. Everything else was a mess of fragmented memories but he knew that he wouldn’t have initiated such closeness between the two of them. He barely liked her, hell, he barely even knew her (not like that had stopped him before) but he wouldn’t mess around with somebody on staff, even he had his limits.
He didn’t think she liked him either but he knew he didn’t pull her into him, so that meant she was the one that started it. 
“Maybe she’s been cold to me because she’s into me and she can’t do anything about it,” he mused and squirted more shower gel into his hand, “that’s got to be it.”
*
You went about your day as normally as you could, opting not to watch practice because you weren’t ready to see Matthew after this morning’s debacle. 
It wasn’t until about 10 in the evening that you decided it was time to leave the arena and head back to the hotel. You’d been working slow, forcing the time to pass but you were tired and knew you’d have to face him eventually. 
Only tonight and tomorrow were left until the Flames would be heading back home and you could resume sleeping alone in the comfort of your own home. 
You hoped Matthew would be sleeping when you got back, but much to your disappointment, he was sitting up in bed with his face in his phone and AirPods in his ears. 
“Where have you been? It’s really late.”
“Had work to do,” you mumbled as you grabbed your pajamas and headed into the bathroom to change. 
You changed, brushed your teeth and washed your face at a glacial pace. Twenty-five minutes had to have passed when you exited the bathroom and sat down on your side of the bed. 
“There’s something I want to talk to you about and I think it might be a kind of touchy subject, but we should address it.”
Oh god, what was he talking about?
“Uh, ok, what’s up?”
“Look, I know it’s probably hard for you to be around me, feeling the way you do and all, but it doesn’t have to be weird.”
Feeling the way you feel? What the fuck did that mean?
“What are you talking about?”
“I figured out why last night happened and why you’ve been so cold to me all this time. You like me.”
The fuck?!
The little smirk resting on his lips was begging to be slapped off. You had never given him any indication that you were interested in him at all. Until this morning, you thought nothing positive about Matthew Tkachuk and those few positive thoughts were strictly physical. Yeah, he was definitely an asshole.
“I, the opposite of like you, Matthew. When have I ever given you the green light that I might be interested? We don’t even fucking look at each other most of the time. This roadie is the most we’ve ever even talked to each other. What makes you think I would want someone like you?”
“You clearly cuddled with me all night, that’s what makes me think you would ‘want someone like me!’ I would never be the one to pull the trigger when it came to getting close to someone like you.” 
“You don’t remember last night, do you?”
“Most of it is a blur, yes, but that-“
“You came in hammered drunk and told me you wanted to hold me and then we went to sleep,” you cut him off. “Don’t think I didn’t feel your fucking dick shoved into my back this morning. You started this, Matthew. I don’t feel any ounce of attraction, physically or emotionally, to you at all.” 
It wasn’t entirely the truth but you were pissed. How fucking arrogant was he that he thought you had feelings for him when he was the one making the first move by coming back for a drunk cuddle?
His face was beat red, “that can’t be true, I wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, you did and I stupidly let you for whatever fucking reason. I should’ve forced you to go to sleep and spent another night on the floor.” 
He didn’t respond, instead focusing all his attention on the corner of the blanket he was kneading between his fingers.
“This is hopeless, Matthew. You and I are just two people who will never get along. Our personalities don’t mesh at all and that’s fine. We need to go to sleep though, two games two days in a row is going to be a bitch.” 
Flicking off the light, neither of you bothered to say goodnight as you both stayed on your respective edges of the bed, putting as much space between you as possible. 
---
Your respective alarms went off within fifteen minutes of each other, and like robots, you both got prepared for the day ahead without a word to one another. You both left for team breakfast at the same time, you heading in the direction of the staff and Matthew going off to join the players.
“So how’s it going with Tkachuk?”
“I mean, it could obviously be better. He’s making it pretty fucking hard for me to continue liking this job.” 
“I have tea,” one of the newer assistants spoke up, “if you’re interested.”
“About me?” 
“Yep, about you and concerning Tkachuk. Only if you’re interested though,” I smile played at her lips and you could tell she was dying to spill whatever secrets she was keeping.
“Hit me with it.”
“I was asked to go out with the group of guys the other night to make sure no one got in too much trouble, so I was there for everything that happened and while I know that he was very drunk when he shouted it across the bar,” she leaned in and the rest of you mimicked her action, “he doesn’t hate you at all. He’s actually pretty fucking interested in getting to know you in a much more intimate setting.”
“Bullshit.”
“He said it, I swear!”
“I believe he said it, but he was drunk and when he came back to the hotel room and insisted on cuddling until we fell asleep, he was drunk then too.”
“Wait, what?!” 
Several people started talking at once, asking you questions and making assumptions. 
“Nothing happened,” you raised your voice a little to silence them, “honestly. I’d never, especially not with him. I had also been drinking wine too so my guard was down but it was stupid and he acted even more idiotic about it the next morning.” 
You recounted what you could remember of the other night and yesterday morning when he claimed you were the one to make the first move because you ‘liked’ him. It was probably something that should’ve stayed private, but if Matthew was going to say what he did at the bar, drunk or not, and blame everything on you, you figured you’d share your side of the story.
*
“One more night with your best friend and then you’re home free, Chuky.”
“I absolutely cannot wait, and the next time there’s an issue with the rooms and she ends up as my bedmate, one of you will be fucking trading with me.”
“I don’t know, man,” Gio clapped him on the shoulder, “I love a good, slow burning love story and this one has been incredibly entertaining.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” 
“You’re kind of into her, I can tell.”
“I am not into her. Not even a tiny fucking bit, man. Don’t spread that shit around.”
“Why? You don’t want her to find out?”
“There’s nothing to find out. I’m not into her.”
“Ok, man, don’t get so defensive. You’re not into her.”
“Yeah, you definitely can’t stand her,” Noah Hanifin piped up, “that’s why you told the whole bar you’d fuck her into the shitty hotel mattress if she’d give you the chance!”
“Don’t fucking lie man, I didn’t say that.” 
“You did, but I’ll let you pretend like it was a drunken moment and not repressed pining.”
“Shut up, all of you, if you want me to get my shit together on the ice, you should stop bringing her up.”
It was petty and every one of them knew it but they didn’t want to frazzle Matt even more than he already was, so the subject was quickly dropped. 
*
The Flames won in a 4-0 shutout.
Game Two was a complete success and instead of the players going out on their own, a bar was rented out and everyone was in attendance. 
Ignoring Matthew was pretty easy at first. He scored one of the goals so plenty of the other guys were on him but as the night went on and the booze continued to flow, he found you. 
“Hey,” he slurred slightly, “sorry about this morning and last night. I was wrong to assume, you know what they say when you assume.”
You were pleasantly tipsy and not entirely bothered by his presence at the current moment, so you humored him.
“No, what do they say?” 
“When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.”
“You mean when you assume, because I made no assumptions but you certainly did.” 
“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.”
There was something about the way he was looking at you at that moment, coupled with the song playing over the speakers at the bar that had you feeling some sort of way. 
‘Someday we’ll know if love can move mountain. 
Someday we’ll know  why the sky is blue. 
Someday we’ll know  why I wasn’t meant for you.’
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t do this tomorrow,” you placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned up on your toes to press your lips against his. 
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harryhandstan · 4 years
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This is my contribution to @meetmeinfleetwood​‘s “to lovers” fic challenge! I chose the trope roommates to lovers and the prompt “I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.” This was fun to write thank you for allowing me to participate!
Thank you to my beta readers @tbslenthusiast​, @witch-harry​, and @sunflowers-styles​! Y’all are the best!!
no warnings that I can think of other than alcohol tw // bc of the wine they share!
word count: 2.3k
writing tag | masterlist
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It’s 5:45 p.m. when you finally leave work for the day. You should’ve just said to hell with it and went home at 5:30 like you were supposed to, but you were nice enough not to. Too nice you’d been told in the past, but it’s a flaw you’re willing to accept if it gets you a promotion to the position you ultimately dreamed of working when you started there 3 years ago.
After a quick stop to grab a bottle of wine (or two), your car can’t get you home fast enough. It’s Friday and you’re looking forward to spending time doing absolutely nothing for the next two days but curling up in a blanket and watching Christmas movies in the apartment you will essentially be alone in. Your roommate Harry shared the space with you, but kept to himself for the most part. Aside from dinners and movie nights on rare occasions when your schedule lined up, allowing you to spend the evening together.
As if your thoughts summoned him, your phone dinged, indicating a new message. Your eyes dart down to where it sits in the passenger seat, careful to keep your eyes on the car in front of you, waiting patiently for the light to turn red so you can grab your phone to respond.
It’s one simple word, “Home?” so you know he’s either still working or on his own drive home. 
Your reply is just as direct, “Not yet. On my way! Movie night?” 
The light’s green again so you tuck your phone back into your purse, ignoring the next ding until you arrive home. You’re through the door of your apartment and down the hall before you read his message, “Sure. Chinese or pizza?” 
“Chinese! I’ll pick the movie and you pay for dinner?”
“That doesn’t sound fair :(”
“Alright fine, you get home before I’m out of the shower and in my pajamas you can pick the movie..deal?”
“Deal!”
The race is on then, both of you competitive and determined to win. You have a movie in mind that you’ve been dying to watch all day and you don’t want to have to rock-paper-scissors to break the tie like you usually do when the two of you don’t agree on who wins  these little games. 
You’d already shed most of your layers of clothing easily as you moved through the apartment; your boots kicked off by the door, jacket gone and thrown over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, cardigan pulled from your body and tossed on the bed by the time you made it to your bedroom. It doesn’t take long to strip the rest away and to gather a set of pajamas from your well organized drawer before darting across the hall to the shared bathroom.
You know you have at minimum 45 minutes to be done, an hour if he goes to the better Chinese place a little further across town, which he most likely would. You’d been dreaming of ending your week with a bubble bath, but you don’t take the chance now, just hop under the hot spray of the shower, hoping it will have the same relaxing effect. Your eyes are closed as you tilt your head back to wet your hair while one hand fumbles over the bottles to find your shampoo. 
Eyes still closed, you tip the bottle to add a bit to your hand, but you freeze when you open your eyes temporarily to close the bottle and put it back on the shelf. It’s Harry’s shampoo you’ve grabbed instead and for a moment you don’t know what to do. You don’t know how many times you’ve teased him about how expensive his products are. But he would never let you hear the end of it if he came home and you smelled like him. Ultimately you would’ve felt too guilty to waste it, so you work it through and hope he never finds out. Pray that the act washes away just like the suds do when you rinse them from your hair. 
By your hopeful calculations, you still have about 10 minutes left before he arrives by the time you're done in the shower. You decide to give him a fair advantage, venturing into the kitchen to decide which bottle of wine would pair best with dinner. When you make your selection, you pour yourself a glass, settling into a comfy spot on the couch. The black remote taunts you from the small wooden coffee, and you grab it. No harm in getting the movie ready while you wait, right?
You’re 2 glasses deep and 20 minutes into the movie when he arrives, a smirk on his face at the sight of you. Your eyes go wide when you see him. You’re not sure why, there had been many nights he’d found you in the same position, but tonight feels different. You gulp down the sip of wine, too tipsy and unaware that you’re staring. Had his dimples always been that prominent when he smiled? Even without your glasses you could spot that grin that stretched a mile wide across his face.
“Haroldddd..you’re home!”
He hated that nickname, had always despised when other people called him that, but falling from your lips it sounds like a prayer and he would gladly change his name to that if he thought it would make you the least bit happy.
“S’pose I lost, huh? Got the food pretty quickly but stopped to get this,” He holds up a bottle of wine, ironically the very same kind that you’re drinking now, “Shoulda known y’would already have some!”
“Oh good, you got some for yourself..this one’s almost empty..”
“M’not that late, am I?” He chuckles as he makes his way to the counter, looking between you and the bottle.
“Hey..it’s a small bottle! This is only my third glass and I’ve barely even touched it.”
“Rough day?” He’s pulling plates down now and retrieving a glass for himself from the cabinet.
“Rough week. Rough few weeks, really.” You take a few more sips as you watch him prepare a plate of food. You figure he’s just making his own, and you wait patiently for him to finish so you won’t be in the way. But when he makes his way around the counter, he’s holding two plates in his hand and wow you want to jump from your spot and kiss him. You restrain yourself, as hard as it may be, and try to focus on the question he’s asking you.
He holds the plates towards the table and then towards where you sit on the couch, silently wanting to know where you’d prefer to enjoy your meal. You pat the spot next to you, inviting him to move closer, knowing how much effort it would take to lift yourself from your warm, comfy spot to go eat at the table.
“Emily still on vacation?” 
“Yes! And she expects us to do double the work while she’s gone! It’s her 3rd vacation this year. I know she’s the boss but..”
“Doesn’t mean she has to be a bitch to you.” He finishes your sentence for you, brow furrowed, upset at even the idea of someone mistreating you in the slightest. 
“Right! Thank you!” 
You hold your hand out to accept the plate he’s made for you, “Got our usual, hope that’s alright.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I was just joking earlier about you paying for all of it. I’ll pay you back for my half.”
He’s already shaking his head no, stuffing a bite of food in his mouth, “It was my turn anyway, r‘member? You paid for those tacos we had last week.”
“Right, I did. Forgot about that.”
You watch him devour a few more bites, your eyes darting from your plate to his, “Yours looks better.”
“Huh?”
Maybe it’s the wine making you more bold, you’d normally never complain, “Your plate it just..looks better than mine. Switch with me.”
“It’s literally the same thing..and I’ve already eaten half the noodles off mine.” He looks mildly annoyed at even the suggestion.
“Don’t care..it looks better. Switch.” You realized just how bratty you sound, so you add a quick, “Please?”
He huffs dramatically, switching the plates and giving you a sarcastic smile, “Happy?”
You return his smile, blissfully unaware of his annoyance in your tipsy state, “Very, thank you.”
You both turn your attention to the tv you realize now you had forgotten to pause, so the movie had progressed further, about 30 minutes in now.
His irritation has already faded when he asks, “What are y’making me watch?”
You start to explain the plot but stop mid-bite of your food, “Wait..have you never seen this movie?”
He shrugs, “Doesn’t look familiar.”
“Oh we’re definitely starting it over then!” 
“No, ya don’t hafta..”
It’s too late, you’ve already discarded your now mostly empty plate of food, nearly knocking your glass of wine over in your excitement of making him watch one of your favorite movies.
Almost an hour in, you don’t notice that Harry’s eyes have drifted to you. In fact, they’d mostly stayed on you since you’d restarted the movie. Your facial expressions were better to him than any movie; the way your eyes softened at the more heartwarming parts, or when your mouth formed a soft ‘o’ and gasped at parts he was certain you had probably seen at least a dozen times before.
You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically and he doesn’t even flinch, just listens intently when you say, “I love this part..this is the moment.”
His eyes temporarily flash back to the tv then, “The moment?”
“Yeah, you know, the moment. Where the guy looks at the girl and realizes he’s in love.” You sigh deeply, “I always wanted someone to look at me like that.”
Oh, you mean like what’s happening now between us? God he hopes for just a glance from you, a chance to show you that you’re living your own moment now if you’d just look at him. 
It’s tumbling out of his mouth quicker than he can stop it, his mouth working faster than his brain, but it’s a low enough whisper he thinks maybe you won’t hear.
“I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.”
You do hear him, though you don’t believe it at first. Your hand is still resting over your heart, searching his face for any sign of teasing or dishonesty.
“H..did you just..?”
He’s looking down at his hands, fingers fiddling with one of the rings adorning his fingers, nodding before replying, “I did.” 
“How long?”
“Um..since the first week we’ve lived together? That first night we made dinner together and it was a disaster. Thought you were gonna catch the place on fire.” A giggle escapes him at the memory of you, rushing around the kitchen that night, face flushed red and hair a mess.
“That’s my moment? Almost burning our apartment down?”
“That and now, yeah. Just been strugglin’ with the best way to tell you. S’pose the wine’s making me a lil’ more fearless,'' He takes a deep breath, still not able to look at you in case he finds even a hint of rejection on your face, “But I understand if you don’t feel the same..”
“I do.”
His head snaps to look at you then, eyes widening for a second before he composes himself, “Really?”
You can’t stop the smile that blooms across your face at the sight of the thrill in his eyes. There’s a new buzz of elation in the air, but neither of you make a move at first. A pleasant tension fills the space between the two of you.
You break the silence, “So..what do we do now?”
“S’all up to you how fast and how far we take this. M’all in though, ready when you are, love. A cuddle might be nice while we finish the movie, if you’re up f’that.”
“I think I could handle that. I want something else first though.”
He’s trying to read your mind, thinks he knows exactly what it is, but he wants to hear you say it. Wants to hear the words he’s been waiting to hear for what feels like a lifetime now.
“Kiss me, Harry.”
You’ve already turned your body towards him; the movie, the food and the wine all long forgotten. He clears the space between the two of you easily, a hand on the side of your neck to add just enough pressure to pull you towards him.
Your lips crash against his, noses bumping at first but it doesn’t stop you, it only makes you crave him deeper and closer. You press your knees into his thighs, pushing yourself up so that you hover over him, your hair falling around his face. It’s still slightly damp from the shower, and his hand comes to rest on the back of your head now. 
There’s a smug look on his face when he pulls away, a hand still placed on your hip to hold you steady. He’s still breathless when he asks, “Did you use my shampoo?”
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When you wake up in his bed the next morning, you question if last night was a mistake. You don’t regret it, not for a second, just wonder if maybe things will be different in the morning light. 
So when you barely touch the plate of eggs and toast he’s made for you for breakfast, he worries you’re having second thoughts about him, that he’s ruined any friendship you’ve already built by rushing into a relationship. 
So when you say, “Did you really mean what you said last night..about loving me?” He visibly relaxes, dropping his shoulders and beaming at you from across his own breakfast plate.
“Oh, darlin’,” He plucks a piece of uneaten toast from your plate, winking at you as he does, “You don’t know the half of it.” 
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stevenbasic · 3 years
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“Hi Dr J, I’m glad we finally get to chat…”
Holy shit.
——
Earlier that day, I’d been told at the front desk that there was a lady from Evolution Pharmaceuticals on the line, and that she’d like to speak with me. Aubrey had always been good about screening out the sales pitches, the irate patients, the people with whom I really never needed to actually talk. So that she was pulling me aside for this call told me that this one might be something I should probably take...
But - ugh. No. I didn’t want to. This had been a long day, a long week so far - and it was only Tuesday! God, the past few months had been more and more exhausting, humiliating and emasculating with each passing hour. And the more I learned, the more it seemed that this company was at the heart of my troubles. Yes, it offered the opportunities of great financial rewards for the practice with this clinical study trial in which we were going to be participating. Since Jeanette, my previous Office Manager, had left, the mismanagement of the business had us in dire straits. Without the money from Evolution’s study and the “Lean In” grant from the women’s advancement group, I’m not sure we’d still be afloat. So, yeah, maybe I should have taken the call.
“I’ll call them later,” I told Aubrey, and grabbed the films I needed for my next patient.
That had been three hours ago, before my little hallway meeting with Melissa. Since then Gianna - some woman who’d wanted to speak to me about the trial - had called two more times. Left messages. Really wanted just fifteen minutes of my afternoon. Needed to speak with me. I refused each call.
Finally done with patients, sitting in my office at the end of the day as darkness crept in from outside, I sighed as Brittni from the desk buzzed me. She said that Gianna was on the line again. “Can I transfer her?”
“No,” I replied on the intercom, noticing that a little green light had blinked to life on the camera I had clipped to my monitor. I hadn’t seen it before, this light. In fact...when did I get a camera on this computer?
“Tell her I'll call tomorrow...” I finished.
I had set back to finishing some patient notes on my desktop when, suddenly, my screen flashed to black. For a quick moment I thought - oh no, a crash - but then a new, unfamiliar window appeared, and my mouse pointer began moving on its own accord. What the…? The window went full screen and next thing I knew I was in a video chat with-
“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were avoiding my calls…” the woman onscreen spoke, laughing casually as she tossed her hair...
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“oh, uh…” I was immediately agape. This was who’d been trying to call me all day??
“Anyway...Hi Dr J, I’m glad we finally get to chat…”
Holy shit. This girl was gorgeous. Look at those tits.
As I stared, still shell-shocked and speechless from having my computer hijacked out from under me by a bosomy corporate careerist, she went on to introduce herself as Gianna Albertini, from the clinical trials department at Evolution Pharmaceuticals. She explained how excited she and her team was to get the study off the ground at the practice. Things had been fast tracked at the FDA, they were just waiting for some rubber stamps, and everything looked very promising for their product. She apologized for not being able to meet in person, at least for a while. “I’m on some new retroviral treatment, and they have me quarantined at home,” she explained with surprising nonchalance, “yadda yadda yadda…”
Finally, after a good several minutes of watching her talk - and she held my attention easily, her rack possibly rivaling Melissa’s - she let me get a word in edgewise. I was still confused by how in one moment I was working on my patient charts, and then in the next I was in a video chat. “H-how did you…?”
“Sorry,” Gianna laughed, casually waving away any privacy concerns I was currently about to voice, “I had to remote in, take over your desktop. I really needed to speak with you.” Beyond the blatant intrusions tactics she was obviously willing to employ, there was something in this woman’s eyes, her demeanor, that was making me more and more concerned as the conversation - such as it was - continued. She may have been acting relaxed and friendly, decidedly informal, but there was a seriousness just below the surface that even I could see, even through the screen, and even in the face of those enormous tits. “Plus, maybe it’s actually better we do it this way, rather than on the phone,” she said, as she sat up nice and straight, “So we can see one another’s...smiling faces.”
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Gahh...
As she got down to brass tacks, this young woman went on to describe to me some of the details of the new wings in our building into which the office would be expanding, how much more space we and Evolution be acquiring to fulfill the needs of the trial, and when it would all be ready. “Construction is ultra-fast tracked,” she said, “should be done within a few weeks.”
Weeks?? I marveled, silently incredulous. I’d seen the plans; it was a huge project. I’d figured months, if it ever really got done at all. But, the teams did seem motivated, and there were a lot of them, working day-in and day-out, all through the night. Maybe, perhaps? Could they pull it off in weeks?
We also talked about the structure of the trial, what it would involve day-to-day, and the long-term forecast. Evolution seemed ready to set up permanent shop with a clinic in the building, by taking over much of the lease of the new space, with the study just the first step in the door.
“You’ll be listed as the lead investigator,” Gianna explained, continuing on to detail the ins-and-outs of the trial, “but don’t worry. We’ll have plenty of people in place. You really won’t have to do too much, or deal with anyone at the main office. You’ll be reporting just to me...”
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“r-reporting to you?” I asked, trying to ignore the impressive bosom which filled the screen, cowed me. That had taken me back a bit...'reporting to her'? I had noticed something in this young woman’s tone, through our chat, that led me to believe that she and I possibly had different views as to the, uh, hierarchy of this whole thing. I was the doctor around this place, and had gotten used to expecting a little respect, being top of the food chain. She, on the other hand, maybe had other ideas.
“That's right,” she said, “we’ll do these chats once a week, more if I feel like we need it. I’ll expect a report from you every day, but again don’t worry. It’s basically something you just have to sign, the girls will do it all. Our other providers will be handling most of the work with the patients in the study, entering data, keeping the FDA happy, blah blah blah. Maybe we’ll ask you to go in and talk to, examine a few of the subjects, just to keep things interesting for you.”
If I hadn’t felt totally emasculated and marginalized, my authority crippled by the horde of women who’d apparently taken over my practice recently, this was the clincher. It would appear that for this study I was going to be not much more than a coddled figurehead, a token man of straw, expected to satisfy the whims of some half-rate pharm company and this woman, at her beck and call. No way!
“I’m going to have to insist on directing care for, uh, the trial subjects,” I asserted, finally getting a moment to exert my will, “they will, technically, be my patients.”
“Oh, of course!” Gianna replied, smiling and throwing her hair over her shoulder, “Allowing for some oversight from the other providers we’ll have in place, you’ll have lots of medical-decision-making to keep yourself busy!”
What did she mean, ‘oversight’?
“They’ll be different than your usual patients, the subjects that we’ll be bringing in for the study, but I think you’ll like them,” she continued, trying to reassure me, “maybe a younger crowd, and of course all female. But in general all you’ll have to do is sit back and watch the money coming in.” She sat, looked into the screen for a moment, in thought. “Though I guess we have some people there handling that for you, too, hm?”
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That gave me pause, made me rethink the litany of arguments that were beginning to boil up in my throat. I’d seen some of the paperwork, quickly, as it had moved past my desk for my signatures. It involved a lot of money for the practice. Like, a lot of money. I thought of my bills, my expenses, what I still somehow owed on my student loans. If Sheryl wasn’t going to be there to provide for me, help me pay these things…
If any of it remained, there was obviously some pride I was going to need to swallow.
“S-speaking of money,” I began, “what's my compensation going to look like?“
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Something about my question, something about how I was holding myself, made Gianna smile again and then sigh, a sigh that told me she knew something I didn’t, I couldn’t help but think. With that she leaned in, her eyes locked on mine through the camera, and a shiver went up my spine. “Oh don’t worry, Dr. J,” she spoke, “you’ll be well taken care of...“
===================================
Muchos Gracias to long-time friend, supporter of the story and behind-the-scenes ninja Antares for helping me assemble these clips.
Newer posts and other goodies at my Patreon
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heauxplesslydevoted · 4 years
Text
Take Care (Ethan x MC)
Summary: Set sometime between chapter 18, Ethan forces Naomi to take a break.
A/N: Okay the other day when I posted that i was writing tooth rotting fluff, this isn’t what I had in mind. That story will come later this week.
~v~
“How long have you been here?”
The question startles Naomi awake, Ethan’s stern voice cutting through the hazy cloud of sleepiness invading all of her senses.
If she didn’t have his handsome features committed to memory already, she might not have been able to make him out, her vision getting blurrier and blurrier as time ticks on.
“What?”
“How long have you been here?” Ethan asks again. “When was the last time you stepped out of Edenbrook?”
It’s a valid question, one Naomi hasn’t given any thought to. “What day is it?”
“Thursday.”
“I’ve been here since Saturday night,” Naomi confesses. Saying it out loud is slightly sobering. The past few weeks have flown by in a blur so unlike anything she’s ever experienced before. But with the hospital closing down soon, there’s no time to waste these days. The people of Boston will be down a hospital, and they still need help.
Ethan pinches the bridge of his nose. “Christ, Naomi.” Yes the hospital is shutting down, but he’s sure there are countless laws she’s violated in the meantime, as no one is supposed to be at the hospital for triple digit hours at a time.
“What? You’re the one who said we should spend our time helping as many people as we can.”
Leave it to her to throw his words back in his face. She’s gotten increasingly better at it, and he’s not a fan. 
“Okay, but I didn’t say you had to move in to do so. And you’re always saying I don’t have a work-life balance.”
Naomi’s arms extend and she gestures widely to the bench she’s sitting on in front of the cafeteria. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“On the verge of collapsing,” Ethan quips.
“I’m sitting,” Naomi argues. “I’m taking a break.”
“Are you currently with a patient?”
“No.”
“Good.” Ethan extends his hand for Naomi to take. After a beat of hesitation, she accepts. He lifts her out of her seat with a swift tug. “You’re coming home with me.”
“But–”
“It wasn’t a question,” Ethan deadpans. “It was an order.”
Naomi plants her feet on the ground, willing herself to not move. It’s a futile attempt because she’s too exhausted and weak to actually have the amount of strength it’d take to battle Ethan on this, but he respects her stubbornness and doesn’t carry her out. “Ethan, I’ll take a nap in an on-call room for an hour, I don’t need to leave.”
“Rookie, you’re clocking out for the evening,” Ethan says, his tone letting it be known that it isn’t up for debate.
“I’m back to ‘rookie’ now?”
“Yes, because you’re being petulant, and you’re not listening to me.”
“You’re not my direct superior anymore, Mister ‘We-Don’t-Need-a-Diagnostics-Team’.”
“I’m still your attending, you still have to listen to me. And I say you’re done for the day.” Not giving her the chance to respond, Ethan wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close. She’s dead weight in his arms and he has to all but drag her to the locker room to retrieve her personal belongings.
Urge car ride to his apartment is silent, save for very idle chit chat. Naomi is too tired to speak, and she won’t admit it due to pure pride and stubbornness, but sitting in Ethan passenger seat on the way to his place is the most peace and quiet she’s had in a long time, not to mention the longest she’s sat still in days. Forever the know-it-all, Ethan picks up on her need for silence and solitude, and doesn’t say too much outside of asking her what she wants for dinner. They decide on a pizza, compromising on garlic chicken.
As soon as they step foot into the apartment, Naomi is assaulted by an overzealous golden retriever. He barks excitedly at her, clawing and licking at her scrub pants as a greeting. Jenner has grown used to her presence, the rare occasions she does actually leave Edenbrook are spent here, curled up with the large dog on the days he’s not in Providence with Alan.
“How’s my favorite boy?” Naomi asks, scratching behind Jenner’s ear. Jenner barks in reply, his tongue falling out of his mouth and lolling to the side as she makes himself comfortable under her touch. 
After a few more scritches and whispered affirmations, Naomi forces herself away from the day, though she could easily spend all night with him in the entryway. She kicks off her shoes at the door and drops her purse there as well.
“Do you want to eat first?” Ethan asks.
The pizza did tempt her the entire drive here, but she desperately wants to take a shower. Maybe she’s losing it at this point, but she can still feel Edenbrook on her skin, and smell the sterilizing disinfectant the cleaning crew uses.
“I need a shower,” Naomi replies definitively, though she makes no effort to move. “Besides, scarfing down cold pizza is always a good idea.”
“Alright.”
Ethan takes her hand and leads her through his apartment, making sure she doesn’t bump into anything on their way to his en-suite
He turns on the water for her, the large waterfall shower steaming the glass planes almost instantly.
“Want some company?” Ethan asks.
“That sounds nice.”
Because she’s literally a zombie, Ethan helps Naomi out of her clothing, delicately peeling the baby blue scrubs off of her body and leaving a pile of discarded clothing on the floor. He follows, removing his own clothing with less care than he did hers, before walking them both into the shower.
For a long time neither of them do anything, Naomi too caught up in the heat of the water and Ethan’s amazing water pressure, and Ethan too enthralled in watching her.
Her skill is slightly pale, evidence that she probably hasn’t had proper sleep or food in Lord only knows how long, and he hasn’t seen dark circles under her eyes like this in months, since the night of the...incident as he’s decided to call it. She’s exhausted, it’s clear in the labored breaths that she takes, and Ethan is still sure without a shadow of a doubt that she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
Unable to stop himself, his hand gently cups the back of her neck, tilting her head back so he can kiss her again. It’s soft and unhurried as if they have all the time in the world to do this.
The kiss turns more urgent as some of the fog clears from Naomi’s brain. Standing on the tips of her toes, she wraps her arms around of Ethan’s neck holding him close, allowing him to deepen the kiss.
Ethan is rewarded with a tiny moan from his girlfriend, a moan that he swallows with the kiss before it dissolves into a low grumble in the back of her throat.
“I missed that,” Naomi admits as Ethan breaks the kiss. 
“What? Kissing me?”
She hums in confirmation and leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss onto his chest. “I can’t even remember the last time I kissed you. The only recent memories I have involve me at Edenbrook, diagnosing patients.”
She’s right. Their only focus has been work, work, work, and Ethan can’t remember the last kiss either.
His thoughts are broken up by Naomi, her hands roaming aimlessly along his arms and shoulders. Her exploration goes further south until her nails are raking along his stomach. “When was the last time I touched you?” She asks quietly, her eyes boring into his. “When was the last time I saw you naked?”
A measured exhale escapes Ethan’s nostrils as her hands venture dangerously lower, slightly grazing his pelvis. If neither of them can recall their last kiss, trying to remember the last time they had sex would be a moot point. The nights they leave Edenbrook are spent collapsing in his bed as soon as they can, drifting into unconsciousness almost immediately. “I don’t know.”
“God, have we become old and boring already?”
“We’re just tired and overworked,” Ethan says. “It’ll pass soon.”
The words unspoken hang in the air, just as thick and heavy as the steam surrounding them. Soon they’ll have plenty of time to get back into the normal aspects of their relationship only because they’ll both be unemployed. Edenbrook will be gone before they know it.
Not wanting to dwell on that, Ethan shakes his head as if he will away the cynical thoughts. Instead, he grabs Naomi’s hands, holding them tight to his chest. “We don’t have to do anything tonight.”
“Really? Something begs to differ.” With a raised eyebrow, Naomi looks down curiously at the evidence of Ethan’s arousal, comfortable nestled between the two of them. Before she can reach down and touch him, Ethan shakes his head.
“I have the most beautiful woman, naked and wet in front of me. This was inevitable, but it’ll go away.”
“I can make it go away.”
“Mhmm-hmmm. Turn around, Valentine.”
“Yes, sir.”
Ethan rolls his eyes. How this woman always finds the space and opportunity to flirt with him is a mystery. Lining the walls of his shower are all of Naomi’s bath and shower products. He’s always making fun of her for being a product hoarder, though she insists everything is different—he’s been schooled on the differences between regular, leave-in, and deep conditioner, creams vs gels, body scrubs and shower gels many times and he still doesn’t see a need for it all. 
Grabbing her favorite shampoo, Ethan pours a generous amount into the palm of her hand before gently running it through her strands of hair. He’s seen her wash her hair enough times to know the bare bones of her routine. Very careful of her curls, he makes sure to not roughly drag his fingers through her hair and risk creating a tangled disaster for her to handle later on.
Her head tips back. “Can I pay you to wash my hair from now on? I never want to go back to doing it myself.”
A swell of pride forms in his chest at the compliment. “No payment needed.”
Once he’s finished washing her hair and he’s coated it in conditioner —she insists on leave-in, as she doesn’t have the energy to put my more effort into her hair for the evening—Ethan lathers her in one of her shower gels, whichever one makes her smell like jasmine.
He moves slower as he does this, pressing his thumb into the base of her neck, massaging away some of the stress she’s carrying. His hands dig into her shoulders, between her shoulder blades, and her lower back, loosening the muscles as he goes.
Naomi doesn’t attempt to stop the moans fighting to spill from her mouth, no matter how obscene they sound. The relief that bloods her body is instant, his touch working out knots she wasn’t even aware of.
“You’re a great doctor, you cook, and you're an excellent masseuse?” Naomi sighs in content. “What can’t you do?”
“I told you I make it my mission to be good at everything.”
“I’m going to find your weakness one day, Ramsey.”
She’s his weakness, his Achilles heel, and Ethan can’t believe she doesn’t know it already. There’s no end of the earth he wouldn’t go to for her, no hoop he wouldn’t jump through, his feelings for her his fateful flaw and his greatest strength all in one.
He kisses her again, this time on the side of her neck. His breath fans her, heating the sensitive skin as he leans closer. “Good luck.”
He continues the massage in silence, careful to keep his touch away from places that would no doubt cause this to spiral into shower sex. And as lovely as that sounds, it’s not what Naomi needs, so he’s willing to forego his baser urges. Every once in a while she makes a comment about how amazing his hands are, but for the most part she’s blissfully silent.
He doesn’t stop with the massage until he’s absolutely sure she’s putty in his hands and all of the knots and spots of tension are gone. Even afterwards, they stay in the shower, his arm splayed across her midsection, his chin resting on top of her head.
“I don’t want to move,” Naomi says, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m too comfortable right here. Can we just stay?”
Ethan chuckles softly to himself. “We can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Well, the steam in here might actually suffocate us if we stay in here any longer,” Ethan starts. “And I’m not a fan of wasting water.”
“It’s not a waste if I’m enjoying it.”
“Touché. Not to mention your skin will get very dry, and you’ll be much more comfortable in my bed.”
“Okay, I guess you’ve made some valid points. We can leave now.”
She doesn’t make any effort to move, and Ethan quickly realizes he’s going to have to do all the work to get her out of here. He turns off the shower and opens the door, quickly inhaling. He didn’t realize how much he needed air until he was no longer in that glass box of steam.
He grabs two large bath towels off of the rack and dries them off. Naomi searches his countertop, now covered in her makeup and hair products until she finds a satin scrunchie to tie up her still damp hair.
They both meander back into Ethan’s bedroom, and Naomi searches through one of his spare drawers for something to wear. It’s full of her clothes, and a few items of his that she’s stolen over the past few months; a t-shirt here, a pair of socks there.
Once she’s bundled up in some of the warmest clothes she can find, Ethan ushers her into bed.  “Are you ready for your pizza now?”
A stubborn yawn manages to slip out as she shakes her head. “No. I’ll get some before I head to work in the morning.”
“You’re not going to work tomorrow,” Ethan says.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re taking a much needed break tomorrow,” he continues. “I admire your tenacity, but I’m not going to let you work yourself to the bone and neglect your own needs in your very noble quest to help everyone in Boston. You won’t do Edenbrook any good if you collapse due to exhaustion.”
“But I–”
“I’m not asking you, Naomi, I’m telling you.” Despite his tone, a pleasant shiver runs down the length of her spine. “You’re staying here with me.”
She almost always has the upper hand in their arguments or debates, but Naomi can tell there’s no room for her to argue with him on this one. He won’t let her win.
“Okay,” she concedes. “No work tomorrow.”
Smug that he’s won this round, Ethan triumphantly slides into bed, wrapping an arm around Naomi, keeping her trapped with him. Unlike her, he didn’t put on any clothes, only a pair of boxers, but now Naomi is able to revel in his natural body heat.
He runs a thumb along her cheek, caressing her softly before kissing her forehead. “I am incredibly proud of you.”
“Really?”
“You’re an excellent doctor, and trust me when I say you’ve done more for this community that I’ll ever be able to put into words. And despite the hospital closing soon, I hope you realize the impact you’ve made in your two years here.”
Naomi nods, her throat getting thick with emotion. She’ll never be used to Ethan complimenting her like this. “I wish I could do more.”
“We all do. But at the end of the day, you’re still a human and you can only do so much.” Ethan’s hand moves from her face to her neck, his thumb tracing a pattern along her pulse. “I don’t want you to crash and burn, and best yourself up over something so completely out of your control.”
“Who are you and what have you done to Ethan Ramsey?” Naomi teases. She never thought she’d live to see a day where he’s scolding her for working too much and trying too hard.
“I’ve done a lot of reflecting recently, mostly due to you. If there’s any lesson you’ve taught me, it’s that there’s only so much I’m in control of.”
“Any other lessons or tokens of wisdom I’ve imparted on you.”
“You’ve taught me how to be more patient than I knew was possible,” Ethan replies. Naomi rolls her eyes at the slight teasing. “You’ve taught me how to see the world’s grey area. You taught me the true meaning of trust and forgiveness. You’ve shown me endless compassion and empathy, none that I’ll ever be able to repay in this lifetime or the next. I was your attending, your mentor, but trust me when I say you’ve taught me more than I could ever teach you, about medicine and life in general. So thank you.”
Maybe it’s the pure exhaustion or his really sweet words, but her eyes become wide and glossy with unshed tears. She blinks them away, not wanting to cry.
Instead she leans forward and pulls him into another kiss. She doesn’t know if she can convey the full extent of her love and adoration for him with a simple kiss, but Naomi’s never been the type to not try. When she pulls back, she rests her head against his chest, settling in comfortably.
“Thank you. For the kind words, and for taking care of me tonight. I’ve never had someone be as thoughtful as you.”
“I’ll always take care of you,” Ethan promises. He’ll give her the world if he can. “You just have to stop being so stubborn and let me do it.”
“I’m trying, I’m trying.”
“Now get some sleep,” Ethan commands. “Tomorrow, I’ll actually cook you a real meal. Not any of the garbage they serve at the hospital, and no more takeout, but–”
He stops short when he hears a soft snore fill the room. Looking down he sees that Naomi has managed to doze off in the mere seconds he was talking.
He’s never been so happy to watch someone sleep, as no one deserves it more than she does. He plants one final kiss on the crown of her head. “Goodnight, Naomi.”
~v~
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tomhollandnet · 4 years
Link
With upcoming roles in not just in “Cherry,” the British star is also currently filming the still-untitled “Spider-Man” sequel from director Jon Watts. Holland opens up about preparing for his role as a soldier turned drug addict and then turned bank robber, along with what we can expect from the new superhero movie next year, which he calls “the most ambitious standalone superhero movie ever made.” Finally, he touches upon getting an itch for directing and how his dream role is to play James Bond and work with Maggie Smith. Listen to the podcast below!
Why did you choose “Cherry” for your first project following the MCU films?
Tom Holland: I don’t really know why now. I would have accepted this job; whoever it was, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. And I got to work with the Russos [Anthony and Joe] again. People that I really respect and I look up to and admire their work. The subject matter is really important. I think we’re doing a service to society by shining the light on a problem that is happening on everybody’s doorstep, which is substance abuse, overmedicating people, and not treating PTSD in the correct way. And also, it was a challenge. I love a challenge. I love pushing myself. Hard work is good work. So it was a bit of a no-brainer, this film, and I can’t imagine there was any way in which I would have turned it down and walked away.
As a former child actor, was there a particular film that really inspired you to get into this business?
Holland: That’s a good question. There are definitely films that I’ve watched as a young kid where I’ve gone “Wow, I would love to be able to play a character like that.” I was 11 when I first went on stage for “Billy Elliot,” and I was too young to think about the future of my career. I never decided to become an actor. It’s just something that happened to my life. It happened to me, and I just never stopped. I was just really lucky that I was able to continue doing it for as long as I have been doing it. Working with Naomi Watts on “The Impossible” was the time where I realized that this was something that I could do for a living. The first time I was like, “Oh, wow, I could actually maybe be an actor.”
Is there a film or performance that’s your favorite of all-time?
Holland: “Primal Fear” for me is one of my all-time favorite performances from Edward Norton. I think he is just picture-perfect, and there is not anything about his performance that you could tweak to make it better. So that’s a film I’ve to continue to learn from.
What was it like working with your co-star Ciara Bravo on “Cherry?”
Holland: Let me start by saying what a pleasure it was to work with her and get to know her. She’s an amazing actress, and the film wouldn’t be half the film without the performance that she gives. I remember I wasn’t at all involved in the casting process of Emily’s character. And I remember The Russos sent me Ciara’s audition tape two or three months before we started production. And for the first time in my career, I was so intimidated. I saw her tape, and I was like, “Oh, she’s like, too good,” and I need to do more work, because she’s going to act me off the screen, and no one’s going to want to follow my character. I thought the Russos were going to be like, “fuck you, Tom Holland, we’re rewriting the film with her now.”
I was so intimidated, and we were so lucky that she was so confident. You can only imagine she’s a young actress. She’s working with the two biggest directors, arguably of all time at the moment, and, and she’s working on this really difficult film with the tricky subject matter. She was so confident, brave, talented, and unselfish in the way that she went about making the film.
How did you prepare your unnamed character in “Cherry” in terms of meeting with addicts or veterans?
Holland: We did quite a lot of research. We spent a lot of time at the VA in Cleveland, and we were interviewing veterans who were suffering from PTSD and substance abuse and trying to seek help. It was an amazing process because it really showed me that therapy works. That these men and women were healing, and they were getting better. We met people at the beginning of their treatment, and they were really closed off, and they weren’t quite comfortable enough to share the stories.
We had people in the middle of their treatment who were getting to that stage where they were willing to open up. So some of them didn’t want to open up to a 24-year-old actor making a movie. Then the people at the end of their treatment who have made peace with their decisions and their mistakes were able to own it. They would tell us the stories and almost tell them proudly. I think one of the big problems in our society is that if you say to someone, “I’m going to rehab,” immediately the reaction is like, “Oh my god, that must mean that you’re really messed up.”
But what the reaction should be is, “Congratulations…that’s amazing. I’m really proud of you that you’re seeking help and that you’ve recognized that you’re in trouble.” I’m hoping that this film can do that for some people. And that, we can maybe stop some kids from falling into this trap of addiction in the future.
After working so much with The Russo Brothers, are you getting an itch to direct in the future?
Holland: Yes, absolutely. I’ve been trying to scratch that itch for a really long time. And my younger brother Harry and I have been writing a script together. We managed to acquire the rights to a book series that we loved as kids. So we’ve been sort of chipping away at that. I now have so much more respect for writers because it’s so difficult, man. I mean, trying to put something on the page is really, really quite difficult. I’d love to direct one day. We’re not rushing anything because I think the project we’re working on is amazing and can be quite powerful. So we want to make sure we get it right. But hopefully, within the next five years, you’ll see Harry and I sitting in the director’s chairs shouting action.
Can you tell us anything about the upcoming “Spider-Man” movie that you’re filming?
Holland: Obviously, I can’t really say anything.
You can tell us what happens at the end, right?
Holland: [pauses] What’s funny is like, I nearly told you then. You were so close to getting what you want.
I can say that it’s the most ambitious standalone superhero movie ever made. You sit down, read the script, and see what they’re trying to do, and they’re succeeding. It’s really impressive. I’ve never seen a standalone superhero movie quite like it. And I’m just, you know, again, that lucky little shit who happens to be Spider-Man in it. We got a lot more shooting to do. We started before Christmas and shot for like seven weeks. We stopped for the Christmas break, and then we’re starting again. I’m just as excited as everyone else to see it, let alone be a part of it.
What’s a role from a book or a series that you would really like to play?
Holland: I’ve got two roles coming up that I’m playing in the next few years that I’m really excited about, but I can’t talk about them yet. But I mean, ultimately, as a young British lad who loves cinema, I’d love to be James Bond. So, you know, I’m just putting that out there. I look pretty good in a suit.
What actress are you dying to work but haven’t as of yet?
Holland: I really want to work with Maggie Smith. I love her. She’s so like English and just seems so sweet. I’d really love to work with Maggie Smith.
You’re eying the “Downton Abbey” universe now I see.
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the-modernmary · 4 years
Text
my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 5)
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Chapter summary: Aaron and the rest of the BAU finally make an arrest on their case, and you spend the weekend at Aaron’s.
Warnings: SMUT, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms
prev. chapter || masterlist || read on ao3
I had a few, got drunk on you, and now I’m wasted
And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you tasted
- Harry Styles, “Medicine”
 ~~~~~~~
The investigation was slow going, and every day when you got off the metro to get to your internship, you would see the undercover van that you knew had BAU members cramped inside, sitting and waiting for somebody, anybody , to slip up and say something incriminating. 
  It was weird being at work knowing that it was bugged, but it did wonders for your productivity. Whenever Chris or another one of your friends at the office started to ask you about your personal life, you were able to deflect it with a quick “Sorry, I’m in the zone right now, and I’ve really got to focus!” Usually, you had no problem sharing, but you really didn’t want the FBI to have audio evidence of your retelling of you double fisting vodka Sprites the night before until you passed out in your bathtub. 
  You also hadn’t seen Aaron since that first night together, which was almost a week ago now. The two of you had been texting back and forth pretty consistently, but you quickly found that there was a variable that wasn’t there two years ago - Jack.
You should have realized that, of course , Jack would be living with Aaron now, but it never crossed your mind. Jack used to live with Haley, and Aaron rarely brought him up to you. Now that Jack lived with Aaron, it made things a little more complicated. It also meant that you couldn’t just show up at Aaron’s doorstep whenever you were feeling lonely, or vice versa. After a long and awkward phone call, Aaron and you had both agreed that it was best that Jack just didn’t meet you, just in case he got attached.
  “For now, at least,” Aaron had added at the end, and holy shit, you did not have the time to unpack whatever the fuck that meant.
  Especially not with Chris throwing a crumpled piece of paper at you like the two of you were in middle school and passing notes.
  You held up the ball of paper with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? You have the desk across from me, you could have just said my name.”
  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked you, pointedly ignoring your question. “Nina just got the Catan expansion pack and she wants us all to come over.”
  You pursed your lips as you thought about the offer. You did love game nights with your friends, but it was Friday night and you were still holding out on the possibility of Aaron maybe being free and inviting you over. It was almost pitiful how touch starved you were after just a few days of not being with Aaron.
  “I’m not sure whether or not I’m busy tonight,” you admitted, maybe speaking a little too loudly in the direction of the listening devices, just in case Aaron was listening in. 
  Chris gave you a knowing smirk. “Oh, are you waiting to hear from your secret lover?”
  “Okay, don’t use the word ‘lover’ again,” you groaned. “And what makes you think that it was anything more than a one night stand?”
  “Because when you’re not actively texting, you’ve been checking your phone every 20 minutes.”
  Your face turned red as you sunk into your seat, trying and failing to hide yourself. Maybe if you willed it hard enough, the ground would open up and swallow you whole, just to save you from the embarrassment. You hadn’t realized you were checking your phone so often, but you also didn’t doubt it. 
  “Fine,” you grumbled, deciding that coming clean to your friends was going to be much easier than having to deal with them bringing it up at every moment possible. Besides, you didn’t have to give them all the details. “I will tell everybody all about him, but later . Not now.”
  Chris smirked as he leaned back in his chair, obviously proud of himself. You turned back to your work, mindlessly doing edits as you came up with a cover story in your head.
  Ran into an old friend, you could say. We got drinks, and then one thing led to another. That could work, except you came to the realization that you didn’t have any photos of Aaron, which would be suspicious if he was an old friend. You would have to look him up, which you were sure would just lead to a slew of FBI ID photos and news articles, which would mean that they’d just do some major googling of their own. You had avoided looking up Aaron, maybe in fear of what fucked up cases he had been involved in, but your friends would not hesitate.
  You could come up with something so ridiculous that they would just laugh about it. Yeah, I got a sugar daddy and he made me sign a nondisclosure agreement, sorry! You giggled to yourself just thinking about it. Aaron would probably be mortified at the thought. Although, he did wear a Rolex, so you guessed that anything was possible.
  “Holy shit, Y/N,” Chris mumbled, and you just gave a lazy hum as a reply, not really paying attention. “The FBI is here.”
  Your head snapped up at that . You whipped your head around so that you could face the entrance, and sure enough, the entire BAU team was walking in like they owned the place, with Aaron in the lead. They all had their FBI vests on, a sight which was way more attractive than it should have been. JJ and Reid stayed at the entrance to make sure nobody got out.
  “Everybody, please stay calm,” JJ called out, putting her hands up non threateningly. “Everything is okay, but we need you all to stay sitting exactly where you are.”
  A commotion came from the conference room and against your better judgment, you turned your head to watch what was going on. It wasn’t just one person getting arrested, it was every partner. You watched as Aaron spun Julian DuPont around by the wrist and pushed his face down on the conference table and oh, the FBI vest was nothing compared to watching Aaron arrest somebody.
  If anybody asked you if you got turned on during an FBI raid, you would vehemently deny it, but watching Aaron take out his handcuffs made your mind flash back to all those times you were in that same position, cuffed and bent over, completely at Aaron’s mercy. 
  Just as quickly as they came in, the BAU made their arrests and made their way back out. As Aaron passed your desk, his eyes met yours for a brief second and the corner of his mouth quirked up smugly. It was so subtle and quick that even you barely caught it, but you knew that look.
  At least you weren’t the only one in this situation with your mind in the gutter.
  Once the rest of the BAU was out of the building, JJ and Reid started the process of getting everybody else out of the office so that CSI could come in and finish looking around. When you passed by them, both agents greeted you with a warm smile, like the three of you were old friends.
  “Y/N, we’re going to need to get your statement before you go home,” Reid told you as you walked by, and you just nodded in confirmation.
  Once you got outside, you were immediately greeted by some agent named Anderson. He needed to get your statement on the work you did with the team, and you quickly gave him the PG version of the story. Your mind, however, was more focused on finding Aaron, who you knew had to be somewhere in the crowd. God, how long did it take to write down a simple statement?
  “I’ll take it from here, Anderson. Thank you.” 
  Aaron’s voice sent shivers down your spine and you spun around to look at him. You brought your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Nice arrest, although I’m surprised. Mr. DuPont doesn’t even drive himself to work, I can’t imagine him waiting out to kill somebody.”
  “That’s because he hired hitmen,” Aaron explained. “The victims were all bribing judges to get their cases dismissed, and all of those dismissed cases looked really bad for his prosecuting record.”
  You shrugged, placing your hands on his hips. “Probably not as bad as prison, though.”
  That actually got a laugh out of Aaron, but he quickly composed himself as another agent walked past the two of you. “Yeah, he’s not going to be practicing law ever again.” 
  You opened your mouth to say something - maybe to invite him over? You weren’t totally sure - when one of the CSI’s came over to ask Aaron something.
  Aaron waved him off, telling him that he would be there in a moment, before turning back to you. “My house will be empty all weekend,” he whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was watching. “Pack a bag, come over.”
  Before you could even answer him, Aaron had already taken off. You made your way towards the metro so that you could run home before heading to Aaron’s. You had to fight the smile that was growing on your face when Aaron mentioned packing a bag. Not only was it an unspoken promise of a weekend full of sex, it also meant that he was planning on making room for you to keep some of your stuff at his house. The two of you were quickly falling back into your old routines, and it was weirdly comforting.
  When you got to your house, you made a split second decision to change out of your work clothes into a more casual outfit, although it didn’t matter much what you were wearing. It’s not like it was going to stay on for very long. As you packed your bag, you ordered an Uber, knowing it would get you to Aaron’s place faster than the metro. 
  Sure, you were a little impatient, but it had been so long since you had spent the night at Aaron’s place. It always intrigued you how different it was at his house than it was at yours. You were just staying in a shoebox apartment while you were in college - something liveable and temporary until after you graduated and got a job where you could put actual roots down. Your decor was fairly minimum, an assortment of knick-knacks and photos of your friends.
  Aaron’s place was different. It was a certifiable, adult house with framed art and random decorative bowls scattered around. All of his kitchenware was a part of a matching set and his living room looked like all the pieces were picked out by an interior designer. In a weird way, being at Aaron’s house gave you a glimpse of the life you could have in just a few years. Sometimes, it was easy to imagine that you were a part of his world.
  You couldn’t think like that, though. Especially not when he greeted you at his door with an eager kiss, pulling you in so that you were pressed against him.
  “I’m going to use this entire weekend,” Aaron mumbled against your lips in between kisses. His hands slid up your sides, pulling your shirt off almost immediately. “To thoroughly and completely ruin you, until you can only say my name.” 
  Your fingers tangled in his hair as you smiled into the kiss, your fingers already working on the buttons of his shirt. A soft moan escaped your lips, which only encouraged him to deepen the kiss.
  The two of you stumbled towards Aaron’s bedroom, only detaching your lips when absolutely necessary and leaving a trail of clothes behind you. You needed to be naked, to feel your bare skin pressed against his. His hands were impossibly everywhere all at once - running up your thighs, cupping your breasts, and gripping your hips so hard that it was bound to leave bruises. Your body burned everywhere he touched and soon all you could think about was him and how badly you wanted him to touch you where it mattered.
  Once you got to his bedroom, Aaron pressed you against the wall. You tried to grind against him, but he moved one of his hands onto your hips so that he could hold you in place. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, sucking just enough to make your back arch. “You have no idea how often I thought of you this week. How hard it was to listen to you and not think about how you sound when you’re begging for me. How badly I needed you.”
  Your nail scratched down his back lightly, just enough to elicit a soft hiss from him. “Desperation is unbecoming on you, Aaron,” you teased, knowing that would get a reaction out of him.
  It worked. One of his hands stayed on your hip, pressing you firmly against the wall, while his other hand tangled itself in your hair, pulling your head back so that your face was lifted up towards him. He kept you at an arm's distance as his eyes raked your body up and down hungrily.
  “I’m desperate?” he said scornfully. “Coming from the girl who is so needy that she couldn’t stay away from her phone for more than a few minutes, just waiting for me to want you. I could have called you at any time, and you would have dropped everything just to let me use you, isn’t that right? You’d let me do anything to you, just like the filthy slut you are.”
  You visibility gulped at his statement but you nodded obediently, which earned you a sharp tug of your hair.
  “Yes, Aaron, fuck ,” you gasped out. “I would have let you do anything at any time, just please…”
  Aaron gave you a predatory grin as the hand on your hip slowly made its way up your stomach until it cupped your right breast, thumbing lightly over your nipple. It wasn’t enough to get any real pleasure, but it made you moan all the same.
   “You did such a good job this week,” he murmured, looking at you almost worshipfully like he wanted to commit you to memory.  “I was going to give you whatever you wanted tonight. But maybe that would make me too desperate .”
  You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was no use. “I- I-” you stuttered out. You couldn’t think straight.
  “I- I-,” Aaron mocked. “I thought you were a lot more intelligent than that. Come on, Y/N, whatever you want. Use your words. Unless pleasure’s turned you into a stupid whore.” He punctuated the last word with a light spank to your clit, which made you cry out and your legs instinctively try to close.
  “I want you to use your mouth,” you begged, arching your back in a pitiful attempt to create some form of contact. Your shoulders pressed against the wall was the only thing keeping you upright.
  “Where?” he asked all too casually.
  Your breathing was still shaky at best, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with Aaron. He looked back at you expectantly, waiting patiently for your answer.
  You slowly raised your hand to point to your left breast, which so far had been woefully ignored. “Here,” you said hesitantly, not sure whether or not he was going to tease you. While Aaron always gave you what you asked for eventually, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make you beg for it first.
  To his credit, however, Aaron immediately bent down and attached his mouth to your nipple, his teeth gently scraping over the sensitive flesh. His eyes never left yours, he wanted to watch your reaction. 
  Feeling more confident, you cupped the sides of his face and pulled him off you, and the sound it made was obscene. “I want you to eat me out,” you whispered, blushing as you said it. “I want to feel myself cum on your face, please .”
  Aaron smirked as he slid down to his knees, kissing all the way down your stomach. “Good girl, you asked so nicely,” he mumbled against your skin and it sent shivers up your spine. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, giving him a perfect few of your pussy, slick with your arousal. “Look at you, dripping down your thighs before I’ve even started. Desperation is unbecoming on you, Y/N,” he mocked. He was using your words against you, and you didn’t even care. You just wanted him to do something, anything.
  Aaron ran a finger through your folds, ghosting over your clit. You hips bucked, desperate for more contact, but his finger was already gone. “Look at me,” he ordered, and as soon as you did, you were greeted with the image of Aaron admiring the wetness that was covering his finger. Then he stuck the finger in his mouth, smirking as he did, and you moaned out at the sight. “You taste so good, Y/N.”
  “Please, Aaron, I need you to- oh! ” you begged, but you were cut off by Aaron licking a strip up your center, still avoiding your clit.
  His hands came around and grabbed onto your ass as he got to work, lapping through your folds. You tangled your hands in his hair, rocking your hips against his mouth, craving more . His tongue teased at your clit, humming every once in a while in a way that sent vibrations throughout you. Without warning, he pushed two fingers into you curling them in just the right spot.
  As Aaron’s fingers pumped in and out of you, his lips focused solely on your clit. He flicked it once with his tongue before sucking, relishing in the way you moaned out his name. You tightened your grip in Aaron’s hair as your first orgasm hit you, your whole body shaking and a string of expletives leaving your mouth. But that didn’t stop Aaron.
  He added a third finger and replaced his mouth with his thumb on your clit. “You’re going to give me another one,” he practically growled. “And then I’m going to fuck you until you’re a whining mess. This is what you asked for isn’t it?”
  When you didn’t answer right away, he turned his head to the side and bit down on the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh, causing you to cry out. He sucked on that same spot for a little before dragging his tongue over the newly formed bruise.
  “Yes, I want that, Aaron,” you cried out. “I want you .”
  He reattached his lips to your folds with newfound vigor, making tight circles around your clit. His free hand snaked up your sides to your breast, pinching and twisting at your nipple. You continued to beg, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. All you knew was that you were so full of want , want for your second orgasm, and want for Aaron.
  Aaron fucked you with his fingers with ease, as if he had all the time in the world. You ground down on him again, chasing your orgasm the best you could. Your eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure, but you needed more. You opened your eyes, only to be met with Aaron’s blown pupils, eyes full of desire. You could almost feel his smirk as he wrapped his lips around your clit and pulled .
  The heel of your foot dug into his back as you cried out, your second orgasm twice as intense as your first one. Aaron’s fingers kept pumping into you lazily, and even your panting couldn’t cover the filthy sounds it was making. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs.
  Aaron slowly removed his fingers from you and lightly swiped them over your clit once more as he stood up, which almost made you completely lose your balance, a sob tearing from your mouth.
  He held his glistening fingers in front of your mouth and you opened obediently, moaning as you tasted yourself on him. Your tongue swirled around his fingers, making sure to clean every trace of you off him.
  Aaron removed his fingers from your mouth. “Do you have one more in you?” he asked, and it was softer than you were used to. “It’s okay if you don’t. We have all weekend.”
  “I need your dick in me,” you said in lieu of an answer. “Please, please fuck me.”
  Aaron pulled you to his bed and you all but collapsed onto your back, your legs still shaking from your back to back orgasms. Aaron crawled on top of you, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake, all the way from your stomach to your mouth.
  “You’re so beautiful when you come for me,” he whispered, teasing your entrance with the head of his cock. All of his movements were gentle, bordering on caring. “Yelling out my name so that everybody can hear that you’re mine .”
  He pressed into you slowly, his first few thrusts shallow, and you could see that it was taking all of his willpower to keep teasing you like this. You dragged your nails down his back, not caring if it left marks on him.
  “Aaron,” you whimpered, bucking your hips to try and get more movement. “Please fuck me. I need more.”
  Aaron was always good at giving you what you wanted.
  His hips snapped into you harshly, and you had to attach your lips to his shoulder to keep from screaming out. Aaron thrusted into you hard and fast, wanting to feel every inch of you. He stretched you in all the best ways and your back arched off the bed. You were holding on to Aaron like a lifeline, and all he could do was grunt out your name over and over, repeating it like a prayer. 
  Your third orgasm came fast, spreading through your body like a wildfire, and you could feel the tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the overstimulation. Aaron’s thrusts became more desperate and harsher as he felt you squeeze around him. He dropped his head to your shoulder, his breathing ragged and you could tell that he was so close-
  “Cum for me… Fill me up,” you purred into Aaron’s ear, and that’s all it took for him to finish, holding himself deep inside you as his warmth filled you. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, both trying to catch your breath. You brought your head up to kiss Aaron, slowly and deliberately and filled with… something . You couldn’t figure out what it was yet.
  Aaron pulled out of you slowly and flopped onto the bed next to you, but he reached over and held your hand. The two of you laid like that for several moments, giving yourselves time to come back down to reality. Finally, Aaron rolled on his side to check on you. You admired the flush on his body, especially as it rose to his cheeks and made him look like he was practically glowing.
  “Are you okay?” he asked, his thumb rubbing lazy circles on your hand. “Can I do anything?” 
  You turned your head to smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze, before sitting up. Aaron was always so careful about aftercare, which you were immensely appreciative of. “Oh, I’m fine, I’m just going to go to the bathroom. A UTI might ruin the mood,” you joked.
  When you returned, Aaron was already in a pair of pajama pants and sitting in bed. He had also laid out one of his shirts for you, which caused your stomach to do flips. Despite the fact that you actually did pack pajamas, you chose to wear his shirt. You could feel his eyes watching your every movement as you made your way back into bed, leaning back against the headboard.
  Aaron placed an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him, catching his lips in another kiss, this one soft and sensual. You placed your hand on his bare chest as the kiss deepened, and Aaron’s fingers ghosting over your skin sent shivers down your spine.
  “So,” you murmured against his lips. “What are your plans for me this weekend?” It was partially a joke, but you wanted to be as prepared as possible for just how sore you were going to be on Monday after an entire three days of being thoroughly wrecked by Aaron.
  Aaron’s lips curved up into a smile as he dropped a kiss on the top of your head, letting his lips linger for just a second too long. “Hm, we can play it by ear. Although, I was thinking Indian for dinner tomorrow night?”
  You were too old to get butterflies, but there was something so soft and so sincere in his reply that it made your stomach do flips. Aaron yawned, probably not even giving a second thought to his reply, and pulled you in closer to him. 
  “Yeah,” you conceded, closing your eyes. “Indian sounds good.” You could deal with the butterflies later.
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caxsthetic · 4 years
Text
Pampering Day
Type: Advertisement (Headcanons)
Cast: Miya Atsumu | Miya Osamu | Suna Rintarou | Kita Shinsuke
Storyline: All about how they take care of themselves. What's the impact of your existence when it comes to them pampering themselves? What they do with their pocket money?
Genre: Highschool Romance, Slice of Life
— Miya Atsumu —
This man surprisingly cares so much about his physical appearance, even though he doesn't care less about girls or boys who fawn over him.
When he buy skincare, he do it for himself. When he buy all of those hair products, he use it for himself. He wanted to look perfect because it makes him feel good. Even though he is already perfect.
You always love to feel his hair tickling your cheek when he hugs you from behind, it's so soft and somewhat fluffy. And he knows how much you like it, hence the reason why he moves his head affectionately like a golden retriever sometimes.
He buys everything monthly, and since he is in a relationship with you, he always takes you to the mall and ends up having a date.
At the end of the date, there will be maybe around three or four shopping bag at least. Yes, all belong to him. Either it's for new stuff that a clerk promote, or stuff that becomes his must to buy.
Once the two of you are home, no matter how tired it is, he always excuses himself first to the bathroom. He had this headband that he wears before cleaning up, customised one with "Top Japan Setter" written on the side.
It takes him like maybe around fifteen minutes, humming happily while he cleanse his face as he thinks about what will he do with you until the moon replace the sun. He always has this giddy smile, something that shown when he think of you, and some cool volleyball thingy.
He is surprisingly easy to be "scammed", just some word about how magical the product could be for his skin and hair, he is hooked. If he has more money, he will buy two or three of them at once.
Sometimes a week after that, he will whine. He will complain on your ear about how the product is not like how it promised. And as a good lover you are, you will calm him down, recommending him what he should do with the failed product.
He is so grateful to have you, because you are always willing to listen. And even though somedays his hair will smell different because of it, you never complain and the two of you will just cuddle like what you always do.
"Thank you, I may not saying that a lot of times and I can be such a douchebag. But I mean it, thank you, for dealing with all of my shit." "It's nothing, Atsumu..." "No, it's everything."
— Miya Osamu —
Haha, haha. This man doesn't care shit.
He loves to buried his head at the crook of your neck when the two of you have some movie night or something.
His hair is harsh. It may look soft when everyone sees it, but the look can be deceiving. Once it makes contact with your skin, sometimes you grimace from how spiky it feels.
Yet once again you never complain, don't have the heart to do it as he nom on some snacks with eyes focusing on the screen.
Every new month where he gets the money from his parents, he always call you and brings you to every new restaurant or places that he already takes note inside his head.
His pocket money will be gone in a day, usually half of the money will go to his stomach (and yours since he always wants to be the one who pays for the food).
One day you see his original hair starts to grow, so you tell him that you want to be the one who retouches his hair. He hum and just nod at this, believing in you 100%
The next day, you come in full equipment. His favourite colour, the bleaching—and a bottle of olaplex that make you broke (but then again it feels like a self-indulgence for you since it can help his hair to be a lot softer)
When you are done with his hair, he touches his hair, playing with it as his eyes fill with wonder. He looks so excited, asking you things about how can you make it feels like his hair never bleached and dyeed.
You tell him things about how destructive the bleaching for his hair. His hair is black for god sake and it needed at least three times of bleaching so the silver hair colour can penetrate inside his hair.
You give him a special shampoo and conditioner, adding some hair mask to his routine, some hair vitamin to give more strength.
He is so happy to know that and goes to the bathroom to save all of the stuff that you give him. But he pouts all of a sudden, realising that it must hurt you every time he cuddles up on your neck.
You are currently playing with your phone on the couch when he hugs you from behind, whispering on your ear about how much he loves you, saying thank you and compliment your action.
The two of you are so hooked for each other, and he promises you some onigiri every now and then to thank you for just being his lover.
"I can't believe you never complain about it." "Well, why should I? It's not that hurt. Uncomfy yes, but not hurt." "Dear God, what did I do to deserve you."
— Suna Rintarou —
He buys things so easily and his room literally fills with lots of high-end products.
At the outside, it may look like he doesn't care about his physical appearance that much. But oh boy there are reasons why his skin is like it made of glass.
He is a crazy money spender. When the two of you having an impromptu date, every stuff or products that catch his eyes, all of a sudden it will be wrapped with the luxurious package and fall on his hand.
Suna doesn't even think about either he will use the product or not. As long as he thinks it's good, no matter if he already has some at home, he will buy it—for stock purpose he say.
At the first and second date, you just go along with whatever that he wants to buy. After all his parents give him the money, and it's his freedom to choose what he wants to do with said cash.
But when you go to his house and use his bathroom, you found out there are like fifteen to twenty products that are expired there. And ny that fact, you snap.
He is sleepy after the date with you, begging for you to be his pillow. A smile grazed his face when you are out from the bathroom, now wearing his sweatshirt and boxer—doesn't even notice the discontented look that you throw at his direction.
Patting the side of his bed, he wants you to lay there with him. You know well that he is much more relaxed when he had his arms around your torso. So you wait until maybe a few minutes before you share what bothering your mind.
He had his arms topple on top of you, with his head resting on your chest. He always feels safe and sound, to hear your heartbeat. But somehow, he can feel how your body is a little bit tense than usual.
You are surprised when he suddenly asks about what is bothering your mind. You are a little bit hesitant at first since you know too well that he waste that stuff possibly by accident, but then again it's for his own good.
With your fingers gracing his soft hair (that when you think of it is a lot softer than yours), he listens to every syllable that comes out from your lips. He nods here and there. And when you are done, you are only answered with silence.
At first, you think that you mess up, that you become annoying and it's not your place to pry his life. But then he lifts his head to look at you, a gentle expression appears on his face.
"I think I need to keep you in my life." "Aye, what with the sudden confession?" "You keep me grounded, and I really need someone who look upon me with no other intention except for my own wellbeing."
— Kita Shinsuke —
Kita spends all of his pocket money with the perfect count. He knows well what he needs to do with the money even long before he gets it.
He set everything part by part. This amount for stationary, that amount for hand sanitizer, another amount for some skincare and hair routine that you tell him.
Last but not least though, of course some other amount to take you out on a date and to buy some stuff that his grandma has been eyeing and wants.
Before he's in a relationship with you, he just buys the basic stuff that is just right from his eyes. Like facial foam, sunscreen, deodorant—clean, simple, enough.
But ever since he dates you, he is sometimes a little bit nervous. You are the first relationship, the first time he actually falls in love with someone.
From everyone on the volleyball team, he is highly aware that he is considered as someone that is not stand out, someone—that some bitchy ass students said; not attractive.
So he recounts everything, asking Atsumu and Suna who he knows always pack a lot of things (skincare, perfume, haircare that always make them having the most stuff) when they have some camps or tournament.
Sunarin being your closest friend of yours from out of all of them, inform you about how his captain seems to lose in thought. And some other time after that, he even sees that the stoic man playing some advertisement video for some 10 step skincare routine.
So one day, you decided to confront your boyfriend. The two of you just walk side by side in silence, enjoying the calm breeze with the sun starting to set on the horizon.
You flicker your eyes back and forth between Kita and the road ahead. He glances towards you too, realising your look with his usual expression plaster on his face.
You jolt when he suddenly interlace his hand with yours, thumb caressing the back of your hand as if reassuring you that you can say anything to him. So you parted your lips, telling him about yours and Suna's.
He is silent for a moment before suddenly letting out a sigh. He tells you about his insecurity, about how he feels like he should take care of himself more than he used to.
It pains you to know that he has been having this poisonous thought inside his head. You let him talk and explain everything, and you wait for him to calm down first before you tell him what you want him to hear.
You tell him how he is through your eyes, how perfect he is that you will never trade the affection that he ever gives to you with anything. You say it all with a soft and genuine look.
You heard from Sunarin how your boyfriend cried when he received the captain's jersey, and now, you can see tears prickle at the corner of his eyes.
"It's just, I never been in a relationship before, and I don't ever want to see you leave." "I would never, I promise I would never." "I believe in you. Thank you."
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*     ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶     *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tagged Lovelies:
@muffins-puffins @vlovers-world @blacckdiamondposts @atsunflower @miyatsunami @iwaixiumi @hihiq @the-fandom-ness ​@quirksandbreaths @murasakibaraa @verbluehte @simp4tsukkii @ladyalicevii @evermorehaikyuu @clowninfortodoroki @koutaroulovebot @fitriiaw @mistypoison @aquariarose @greenleaf-fantasy @t-amajiki @kuraomi @haikyuuwithadashofart @starbybokuto @shiningstar-byulxx @nerdyphantomlady @raequii @akasuns @sunaschupet @macaronnv @spicyfoodboi
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