#On my main account I’ve never received anon hate and I’ve been posting for years now

[mariejordans]

i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

[anti-dazai-blog]

Holy shit the anon hate is insane. I’m new to tumblr so maybe this is the norm?? Idk. All your doing is character analysis on a character who is an ASS. I would understand if you were shitting on the writing but ur not.

Im not even biased in your favor! Im an avid Dazai enthusiast in a ‘he is pathetic and only showers once a week’ kind of way but an enthusiast none the less.

I read “dazai take down” 1.1 and agree with everything. I guess where we differ is that I don’t think he’s predetermined that much, I find that kind of character boring and from what I’ve seen of dazai he’s not that.

I could ramble on forever, anyway thank you for the analysis ( and that other one on sskk that was great and how I found this account). I hope you don’t get discouraged from the hate!

Anon. I love you so much. For real (not sarcastically like I love anon Steve).

it’s currently 2 in the morning in my timezone (nearly 3), and the only reason I’m still awake is because I Get Sick Often and it keeps me up to unreasonable hours. I’m so sleep-deprived at the moment it’s not even funny. I slept less than three hours last night, I probably slept 2 the night before. I don’t know if or when I’ll get to sleep tonight, but whatever it’s spring break so who cares.

I know I respond to a lot of these anons with memes and stuff, but I really have been thinking about it beyond what I say on tumblr. It’s not my intention to post anything offensive or mean, and if my account upsets so many people. Well. Clearly I’m being offensive.

but why though? I’d think that the same way it’s not offensive to me when someone posts something in support of Dazai, it shouldn’t be offensive to anyone else when I post stuff against him.

and this account is new. It’s under two weeks old. I posted the first post in what I planned to be a long series today. To be honest I actually had a great time writing post number one and planning out post number two.

I don’t see much of a problem with hating on a fictional character. The reason for that is because it’s a fictional character (idk if you’re familiar with the rocko and Elmo series of tiktoks. But that’s what this all feels like to me. I’m just shouting into the void “but he’s a rock fictional!!”)

I understand that not everyone’s gonna like my content and that’s perfectly fine. But if people could figure out how to make good use of the block button instead of the “send anon hate” button. That would be great.

anyway.

thank you, so much, for your ask. Seriously. I wasn’t necessarily planning on quitting, but I did consider deleting this blog and starting this whole thing again on a new one. So long as someone out there isn’t mad at me for not being the biggest fan of Fictional Dudes Who Probably Don’t Shower, I’m gonna continue with this as I originally planned

[waywardrose]

On Babbushka

There is a group of well-known writers in the fandom who have been discouraged and put down by one of their own, Zannah - @babbushka​. It happens behind the scenes in DMs. It happens in posts and tags.

In DMs, she has started conversations with seemingly innocent questions. When she doesn't receive the response she was aiming for, she diverts the conversation to criticizing and humiliating the person. She has attacked writers for tagging—or not tagging—a post in a way she deems appropriate. She has gotten into arguments over how characters were portrayed and then tried to claim victimization when the other person wouldn't knuckle under.

She will appeal to her following to attack any fan or creator who has an opinion that differs from her own. She will encourage friends to send rude anons. Those same friends will also DM the target with rude remarks.

Several creators have stopped writing altogether because of their interactions with her.

We are tired of being discouraged. We are tired of being talked down to. We are tired of being bullied. Enough is enough. Under the cut we share our stories, let the chips fall where they may. It's up to you, the reader, to decide whether to support her.

We can only warn up-and-coming writers, artists, fans, and supporters of her behavior.

-

Hope - @callmehopeless

The Australian bushfires of the 2019-2020 season were nightmarish—for those living through it and those witnessing. As the season went on, cries for help increased. Joaquin Phoenix used the time during his Best-Actor acceptance speech at the Golden Globes to call for unity, action, and accountability. Regardless of what we may think of him, it was a thoughtful speech.

Hope, who is an Australian, found Mr. Phoenix's message encouraging and reblogged a gifset of his speech.

That morning, Zannah made a post about Mr. Phoenix's shady past and his association with a known sexual predator. The main reason wasn't because his speech was inappropriate or not timely, but because she didn't think he should be the one to get the attention over other actors who had spoken of the bushfires during the Golden Globes.

While Hope confessed she was scared of the bushfires, scared for her loved ones, Zannah was more concerned with purity. To Zannah it was about the face of the message, not the message itself. It didn't matter that Mr. Phoenix was amplifying support for Australia, what did matter was that he had done bad things.

It was virtue signaling on Zannah's part.

Still, this remains a complicated argument. Can a person who has done bad things actually have something positive to add to a cause? Should we listen to a problematic person if they share an insight? Does it reflect poorly on us to agree with their isolated statement? Will we be canceled, too? What about the bigger picture?

In this case, the bigger picture was hundreds of homes were destroyed in the bushfires and families were displaced. People died, thousands of animals died. And it was because of climate change. Mr. Phoenix called for his rich peers to examine their respective lifestyles and to give back.

Yes, Mr. Phoenix has done bad things. Yes, he has associated with people who have done bad things. His words resonated with people on Tumblr, and they reblogged part of his speech. He said something that gave Hope hope.

Hope was asked by a third party how they could help. She came back with a resource guide for those who wanted to send aid to Australians.

When it became obvious Zannah wouldn't silence Hope, Zannah decided to sub-post about the interaction. There, she accused Hope of being a rape apologist for reblogging a gifset and finding a little comfort in it. Zannah placed her ego before someone who was facing a very real danger.

Side-eying an actor is one thing, shaming a person you know for finding solace during a scary time is another. Hope isn't responsible for which voice got picked up. The only "colors" being shown here are Zannah's. She put her own concerns about being perceived as morally pure above actually supporting a friend.

I'll keep this brief - I knew Zannah for many years. And on one of the lowest weeks of my life, when my suburb was burning down and I feared for my family: she convinced me I was a rape apologist for sharing Joaquin Phoenix's speech asking for action on bushfires. In all my life, I never felt more alone. To add insult to injury, she then posted memes mocking me - something that has stuck with me to this day.

I've had dear friends quit the fandom because of her kinkshaming. I've had people I love message me distraught over what she's said.

Enough is enough.

— @callmehopeless

-

Rose - @the-wayward-rose​

This PM exchange started after I tagged my reblog of Zannah's fic Feast (Cameron Bistle x Reader) with cw: white reader. I had been on her taglist, and I wanted to show support because I liked the fic overall. For context, the reason for my tag is because of this sentence:

"But then you're blushing so pretty and squeezing his hand affectionately and reaching for the handle to the passenger side of his car, and then you're laughing when he swats your hand away to open it for you, and then you're beckoning him down as if to ask a question – only to place a chaste kiss to his lips instead."

This is from Cameron's point of view.

She asked the reason for the tag, and I explained it was because of the use of "blush" to describe Reader's appearance.

She misunderstood my premise. I did not mean only white people blush.

According to Merriam-Webster, blush means "a reddening of the face especially from shame, modesty, or confusion" or "a red or rosy tint."

It is an autonomic response, though. It happens in all humans for body cooling and nonverbal communication. The main problem with using it universally is that melanin obscures the appearance of said autonomic response.

Here's an example of three runners:

The two pale women, left and center, are pink in the face. They are blushing. The woman of color on the right is likely blushing, too. However, the melanin in her skin obscures the blood in her cheeks. She is not pink.

That's the pitfall of the word "blush." The observer can't always see it. We know what it feels like. We all do it. The face and/or neck gets hot. The use of "blush" is shorthand in narrative, and I understand that. Nevertheless, when writing to cater to a reader-insert audience of unknown heritage, writers need to consider describing with universal terms.

Again, she misunderstood my premise. I clarified by asking how Cameron sees the Reader blush under an abundance of melanin:

She sidestepped the physiological explanation to go straight for justification. She tried to legitimize "blush" as "perhaps [this]" or "perhaps [that]" when I stated earlier that blush by definition is pink or is to redden. That's the logic. A noncommittal, covering-all-the-bases, complicated defense diluted the conversation.

With her earlier "I have friends of color, hence I can't be exclusionary" statement, I wasn't sure she would get my point. I take full responsibility for not explaining, too. I should've asked for some time to gather my thoughts, but I didn't. Truthfully, I was unprepared, because I didn't think my insignificant tag would be an issue.

Also, I was confused why she was trying to police my blog.

Her replies came rapidly—before I could mention my confusion—and felt aggressive in the moment. Maybe that wasn't her intention, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

That doesn't take away from the fact that words have meaning. It's why we use specific words. It's not understood in the narrative that her use of "blush" could mean a bunch of things. If I had known, I wouldn't have tagged as I did. How is a reader of color supposed to know that? How does Cameron see Reader's blush if she has darker skin?

As writers, we don't know who is reading. Someone could be very pale or very dark. A person with medium-toned skin can turn a shade of pink or red. A person with darker-toned skin will not. We can't assume all readers are medium to pale. We need to develop better writing skills. We have to include everyone.

Readers of color > White-writer feelings

When I stood my ground, she doubled down, stating I made no sense in my tagging and that I lacked the ability to learn from her. She then diverted the argument, attacking a ficlet I wrote a few days beforehand—which had nothing to do with this argument. The Christian imagery in that ficlet was upsetting to her and "in such poor taste" because she headcanons Flip Zimmerman (BlacKkKlansman) is 100% culturally and ethnically Jewish.

Flip stated in the movie:

"I'm Jewish, but I wasn't raised to be. It wasn't part of my life. I never thought much about being Jewish. Nobody around me was Jewish. I wasn't going to a bunch of Bar Mitzvahs. I didn't have a Bar Mitzvah. I was just another white kid. And now I'm in some basement denying it out loud[...] I never thought much about it. Now I'm thinking about it all the time. About rituals and heritage. Is that passing? Well then, I have been passing."

By his own admission, Flip is ethnically Jewish, but not culturally. These are two separate things, and that should be recognized. While Judaism is ethnically and culturally entwined in ways that other religions are not, one does not equate the other. You can be one and not the other.

At the time, I didn't want her to sic her 3000+ followers on me. I wasn't going to argue further. I asked myself if the ficlet was important and worth anon-hate and realized, no, it wasn't. It was a throw-away.

And since I'm not culturally Jewish, maybe I had misstepped. And since Zannah is both culturally and ethnically Jewish, I asked for her guidance.

She flatly refused my request. I don't know how I was supposed to learn from her if she wouldn't teach me.

It sounded as if she wanted me to delete the whole fic. Like none of it was worth saving because it hadn't been Zannah-approved. I had gone against her headcanon, and the fic was too offensive to fix.

The last sentence was supposed to cover her back from criticism, and it placed all the responsibility on me. Obviously, she was above such petty concerns as someone else's blog or writing. Never mind that she had just attempted to get me to change my tagging system and rewrite my ficlet. On my blog.

Later, I figured out she was only criticizing and not offering a constructive critique. Her argument was not in good faith. It was retaliation for not giving her the obedience she thought she was owed.

This is the passage that offended her:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Like it’s confession—though he’s never been much of a church-going man. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears the sin proudly."

This is what I edited it to:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears your marks proudly."

Yeah, I'm not pleased with the revised passage. It's lost its teeth, but I keep it.

The anonymous message(s) she mentioned weren't very anonymous, either. Unfortunately, I've since deleted the two messages. I had apologized to Anon for disappointing them. I said that if the fic was too much, they should unfollow and block me. I meant that in a self-care way. At the same time, I did not—and do not—owe anyone discourse. I don't have to explain my art when it doesn't hurt anyone. And no one was hurt by some purportedly misplaced religious imagery.

I have been silent about this since late January/early February. I was embarrassed. I had been bullied into changing my blog and my fic by someone who proclaims to never do anything of the sort. I had been a fool. Since this conversation with her, I have been blocked/blacklisted by third-parties, most likely at her behest, when none of this exchange had been necessary.

-

Kassanovella - @kylorengarbagedump​​

Zannah's followers have asked her about Kassanovella’s Fix Your Attitude. For context, it's currently one of the most kudo-ed fics for Kylo Ren x Reader on AO3. It had a bit of a renaissance earlier in 2020 because a TikToker wrote a song for it.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to read a fic. If the subject matter doesn't work for a reader, they don't have to partake. Easy as that. So, these tags aren't a problem.

However, it led to this...

She lashed out, calling Kassanovella's fic a joke. A joke.

She implied her fics should be as popular as Kassanovella's because she works really hard on them. She admitted she's tied to the metrics. She implied she wouldn't be writing fic if not for the external validation.

Here's the thing about fanfic: readers like what they like. They don't care about a writer's effort. They only know what works for them. They comment and give kudos, reblog and like what they connect with. That is not under the writer's control. All a writer can do is try their best and concentrate on what they're passionate about.

To bash another writer's fic because it's popular is disrespectful. This whole bitter rant drips of entitlement and is an affront to Kassanovella.

Some time later, an incident happened in a chatroom during a streaming event for veterans by Arts In the Armed Forces (Adam Driver's organization). At least one fan brought up Fix Your Attitude while waiting for Mr. Driver to make an appearance. They were also disrespectful towards the other presenters by demanding to see Mr. Driver. It caused a big stink within the fandom, and Zannah had some choice words.

While mentioning the fic during the livestream was inappropriate, it was also inappropriate to throw all fans of the fic under the bus as she did in her tag. Sweeping generalizations and incriminations of a subset of fans certainly reads as if she resents those fans for a perceived slight.

Next, Zannah made an earlier disparaging comment about Kassanovella's fic, Little Bird. Unfortunately, that comment is lost. However, the messages supporting the comment remain. (For context, Little Bird is a Kylo Ren x Reader The Handmaid's Tale AU. It has been well received in the fandom, earning thousands of kudos on AO3.)

What an author wants to write about and sexualize is their business. Fantasizing about being dominated by Kylo Ren isn't cringe. It's a sexual fantasy. Some sexual fantasies can be disturbing to those who do not share the same kink.

Sexual fantasies are like ice cream. There's a reason why there are different flavors.

Also, "I will never ever be a person that tells an author what to do or not do" is an absolute lie. As evident in this post, Zannah most definitely tells authors what to do or not do.

Again, she bashes Kassanovella, claiming her writing isn't good. Her motivation for bashing Kassanovella can only be speculation. With Zannah's previously stated opinion of Fix Your Attitude, though, it indicates a certain level of negative emotions.

-

Anonymous

An anonymous person came forward with a case of Zannah policing their blog. Anon has a sideblog for their personal AU with Flip Zimmerman. They reblog gifsets and post headcanons. They were an enthusiastic fan of Zannah's and reblogged a few of the gifset she made. Anon tagged their reactions, and Zannah blocked them for it.

Anon went to Zannah and asked why they were blocked, because all they wanted to do was have fun and support fellow Flip lovers.

Anon was under the impression that because they were shipping themselves, and not Zannah, with Flip, she blocked them. Their personal AU doesn't align with Zannah's headcanon that she alone is married to this character and has his children.

While Zannah's reply may sound innocent, and perhaps it is, it also speaks to someone who has set herself up as the owner of Flip Zimmerman. (Wait until Spike Lee or the real Ron Stallworth hears about that...) It appears that if a fan does not comply with the Zannah-approved headcanon, where only she is married to Flip, that fan shall be blocked. If a fan uses tags on their blog that she does not approve of, that fan will be blocked.

Zannah's policing is disturbing. Going into a blog to look for something as a reason to block is disturbing. Any fan is allowed to use any tag on their blog how they wish. If the OP has said their post can be reblogged, how a reblogger tags is beyond the OP's control. To punish that reblogger for not behaving in a way she finds acceptable is uncalled for and unjust.

-

Anonymous

Backstory: Zannah does not view Ben Solo's arc in the Star Wars sequel trilogy as acceptable canon. However, she does view the story she created for Flip Zimmerman in BlacKkKlansman as completely canon.

This is not the first time she has been asked to clarify her position. Nor is it the first time she has avoided giving an on-topic response. A question asked in good faith should be responded to in kind.

If a creator doesn't want to address the issue, they can state that they don't. Deflecting from the question only muddies the waters. Fans feel dismissed. The creator feels hounded, and comes across as irritated and unapproachable. No one has a positive fandom experience.

There is nothing wrong with having a headcanon. What is wrong is Zannah mandating her headcanon for Flip on the whole fandom. As evident in this post, if a fan does not comply with her headcanon, they will be summarily blocked.

Also, there is nothing wrong with rejecting canon. Writers of transformative works have always done this. The problem is shaming fans who have accepted canon while not offering justification for that shaming. A creator saying they "can't help them" is the creator washing their hands of responsibility from articulating their thoughts when they themselves began criticizing the canon in the first place.

Again, this is a bad-faith argument. Creators can't ask for discussion and attention and then get mad when their viewpoints are challenged. Just because a discussion isn't going a creator's way doesn't mean it's an attack, either. It means people want clarification, and if one criticizes, they should be able to back up their criticisms.

-

While sharing our stories has been freeing, it's not our aim as fellow fans to cancel Zannah. We would hope she would take the opportunity to reflect on the damage she has done to the fandom. We hope we all can move forward with a more approachable and supportive scene.

No one person speaks for our fandom. The actions of one fan do not represent the entire fandom. Whether creator or consumer, you are welcome here.

[posted July 25, 2020]

[ohnobjyx]

To the snowy summit side by side

红尘中毁誉得失如何去量?

Part 7: And now... what?

This is a post long overdue. I must admit, this is the most difficult one, so I was putting it off, reading again and again what I had already written and browsing through the internet to try and get the most complete picture.

Disclaimer: in this case, almost all of the post is my personal opinion (I tried to keep the previous post objective). I’m biased because of the XZ friendly content I’m usually exposed to and by my own views of their situation. Open to discussion, but please make sure you’ve enough information to do so.

Let’s go back to anon’s original ask:

Hello could you give us an update on xz's situation? I know we*bo and his studio has taken some steps recently but how has this affected public opinion on xz? Has it improved/ are more people favoring him or has it gotten worse?

I think I have been answering your first question in the past posts. However, about the next two:

When I was compiling information and writing the previous posts, a song kept coming back again and again to my head, specifically, this part of the lyrics:

红尘中毁誉得失如何去量?

In the mortal world, how can praise or condemnation, success and failure be measured?

(Yes, it’s from WuJi-无羁)

Innocence

What happened to XZ was a combination of incredibly bad luck, strenuous social circumstances (the pandemic), high stress in the public and a set of underlying issues that had been festering for a long time.

From being a celebrity on the way up, he suddenly became a scapegoat for a conflict he hadn’t caused and the receiver of a lot of senseless hate. He didn’t do anything from start to finish in the 2/27, but ended up the most affected from it, as the consequences reverberated all the way from March to July.

Because XZ didn’t ask the author to write such a fanfic. He didn’t request for it to be taken down. He didn’t ask his fans to report anything. And he didn’t have anything to do with ao3 being banned in the country as a response. From start to finish, he didn’t participate in any of it.

Many of the analysis I’ve watched/read determine that the cause of the problem  were his fans. One of the bloggers even said that “his fans are the ones that have hindered his career the most”.

But, from my point of view, the saying of “two people can’t have an argument if one of them doesn’t want to” also applies here. From start to finish, the issue was filled with overreactions and exaggerated responses from both XZ’s fans and the rest of the people that engaged in this ridiculous fan war with them.

However, let’s keep in mind that “XZ’s fans” is also a huge generalization. Most of the people don’t have the necessary time, resources and mental energy to engage in ridiculous crusades in the name of their favoured celebrity.

Part of the reasoning of the anti-XZ faction is that he should have taken measures and steps to make sure that his fans didn’t cross the line. However, even if the people leading all of this are only a small % of his fans, they are still a lot of people. Being the receiver of their fans’ love and admiration doesn’t make him and his team able to discern who is a reasonable, sensible fan, and who is a crazed troublemaker. And being famous and admired shouldn’t make him the responsible of all of his fans actions (in my opinion). I think this is also how Western society would view the situation.

I was surprised to discover that c-society did expect him to “guide” his fans, because he has a huge influence on them and he’s supposed to guide them towards more civilized behaviour. It’s not of course what everyone thinks, but the stance his studio has taken also points in recognizing that they should have done that (there are more reasons to their stance, of course, explained in the part 5+6).

However, people did realize (I think) that most of the people that follows him gives him support silently. There are of course ardent and fervent people who jump to defend him, but even that kind of behaviour is discouraged by XZ’s studio (applying that ignoring the antis is the greatest way to defeat them).

So here it came the lyrics from WuJi. It’s true that a fraction of his fans have caused him a lot of trouble. But this kind of fans (there is a fine line between very invested and obsessed) are also the ones who push forward a lot of events, who create things like “XZ’s fans Association” and who promote his works the most. His studio did call them out in the end, and said that everyone should relax in their support, but it’s also true that this fans also had a great hand in pushing him to the top of the charts. There’s a very fine line between gain and loss here, so how can one measure the value?

(But the antis who disguise as his fans and create trouble just for the sake of ruining his reputation are a whole other issue. No excuses for them).

Finally, the answers

To answer (I know we*bo and his studio has taken some steps recently but how has this affected public opinion on xz? Has it improved/ are more people favoring him or has it gotten worse?) more exactly:

When we are talking about public opinion, it can actually be divided into 3 factions: his fans, the antis, and the actual general public who is neutral by default.

1. His fans stayed the same, supporting him through the storm. The opinion of the fans isn’t so easily swayed (though he has lost some in this process, he has also gained new followers), and the main feeling they have towards him now can be summarized in 心疼 (”xin teng”, a feeling that, in this case, can be described as “I’m really sorry that all of this has happened to you because I know that you were innocent in this”). I’ll explain a little bit more about his fans support in the last part of the post.

2. The antis can also be divided into 2 groups: “regular” antis and “professional” antis. The 2/27 Great Union community still exists, but it’s a closed off community and to enter it, the new member has to be approved by a moderator. I’ve seen public comments with the 2/27 Great Union tag, that after his interviews have morphed into “I’m a commoner and I hate XZ”, but they are a lot less active these days. Even if they still have hate after everything that happened, the average anti has gone back to their usual life after quarantine was lifted, so it’s less active.

Some of the “regular” antis will stay active, but that’s to be expected. For example, some of WYB’s solo fans were all exploding over the new vlog XZ’s Studio updated three days ago. While it’s ridiculous for the rest of us, these people will continue their “XZ is using WYB to further his own fame” campaign.

However, it’s different with the “professional” anti. As we said in previous posts, people like “B” has a lot of time, energy and resources to invest in a smear campaign against XZ. Where does all of that come from? I don’t know. What I do know is that once XZ’s topic cools down enough and another scandal of another idol, no matter how small, appears, they’ll shift to hate content about the other idol. What matters to them is to produce content that people will engage with, so they get more views and followers, and profit with it.

3. And now, the “neutral-by-default general public”. There is a problem in how we, as netizens, manage the information. In the previous post, I talked about a hater who had written an assessment because “XZ’s fans” had insulted her parents. While the main objective of the document wasn’t to see how the general public views him, I took the data she had extracted.

The general public isn’t so neutral anymore. While it’s true that XZ keeps gaining fans (he’s still riding on CQL’s success train), what general public, the average passerby, has heard from him is:

A XZ fan has stolen a deceased person’s account to keep promoting him

“XZ’s fans” attack a user’s parents on Father’s Day.

A primary school teacher promotes her favourite idol in her class.

These are bound to create a bad image and reputation in people’s mind. We know (I explained all of those incidents in previous posts) that only the teacher incident was truly caused by a XZ fan. There’s no proof that the person who insulted that user’s parents was a XZ fan, and w/ibo has proved that the “stolen” account incident was a scheme from start to finish.

However, the headache in all of those incidents is that the initial issue (“a XZ fan stole a deceased person account to continue to promote him!”) is announced widely and loudly, attracting people’s attention to it. However, people won’t dig up more information. Less than half will actually read the article or investigate more about it. W/ibo actually investigating it and discovering that it was all a plot to frame XZ isn’t given importance, nor does it go on the hot search chart. People only know what happened at first, but don’t know how the story ended. And this is a huge problem for him, because people accuse him but don’t care to know if he was actually the culprit.

(Wow, just like WWX in CQL).

So I found this to describe it.

There are still neutral people: those who couldn’t care less about the tabloids, and that never read gossip sites. These are still a great part of the general public. Anon was asking about the public opinion: the fact is that previously neutral people have only heared bad things about him for half a year, so that’s bound to affect their image of someone they’re not invested in.

If XZ were defeated, and retired, I’m sure a lot of articles like “framing the innocent” would appear. We people just like to have something to talk about.

His fans’ support

XZ ended 2019 with his followers on w/ibo numbering on 21,690,000. The exact number of his w/ibo followers right now is 26,458,877 (26,459,350 two hours later, by the time I’m editing this to post it). He continues to be liked by more people, and antis may try to reduce his popularity, but it’s a fact that his talent and effort are appreciated by people with no hidden agenda. 

XZ is also slowly coming back to work and to his endorsements, which are very good news. We saw him recently in the R/SEONLY add for Chinese Qixi, in the event for Cao Yu’s anniversary, the vlog the studio updated.

Less directly, Kai Xiao Zao, one of the brands that didn’t stop working with him even after 2/27 (they are a smaller brand, and they must have invested a lot in their endorser, so they can’t just put him aside like other bigger brands did), recently put up little stands in malls all over China to promote their new product. In every stand there was a wall for customers to write and a couple of XZ cardboard cutouts.

In his interview in Yunnan, XZ had been seen wearing his red cord bracelet, to ward off bad luck. So fans started to add their own amulets to ward off bad luck and offerings to the cutouts.

They started off like this...

Fans came...

And they ended up like this. The funny fact it’s that people started to add plush toys, hats and even food to the cutouts, so based on what “XZ” is wearing one can guess where was the photo taken.

This was a widespread phenomenon in all of KXZ stands. So to say that XZ has lost support from his fans would be certainly false.

His dramas are also expected to be aired soon and have been confirmed to. His patience is paying off little by little, and he’s coming back to work.

The moral of the story

I hope we can all learn something from this. If anything, it has changed my own attitude on the Internet. I used to be very quick to answer with extreme words if I felt strongly about a topic. Now I try to tone down my responses. I’m not saying that you’d all do the same, but it’s a lesson I extract from other people’s experiences. History should serve to avoid mistakes others have committed as much as possible.

In the technology and communications based world we live in, to believe that what we do on Internet doesn’t affect real people’s everyday lives is a huge lie. So, now that we can see that XZ is slowly coming back, let’s all remember that this once happened: let’s all be kind on the internet and avoid engaging with people who dedicate themselves to spread hate.

It has been hard on him. But he’s going to top the snowy summit. Let’s do our best to support him rationally.

Prev: Part 5 and 6: A snowy summit

[shhhlikeme]

hi can u do a headcanon when a fem reader moves from karasuno to aoba johsai and still is friends with the karasuno boys.Iwaizumi falls for her because of her skills as a setter and also for being independent and not crushing on oikawa lol.She occasionally smiles at him and likes him too but shes too scared of relationships because of her past one and, scenario where iwaizumi is watching her lead her team and making fun of the other team lol after that he confesses to her

This is the first request I’ve received that is this specific and while I found it harder to write than the rest.... it was a fun challenge trying to follow your plot! I had so much fun! Thank you anon youre awesome💜

TRIGGER WARNING: this story slightly explores themes of abusive relationships. Please tread carefully.

Iwaizumi Hajime x “The Spicy New Girl” Crush

Iwaizumi x Reader

———————————————-

After 2 1/2 years on the Karasuno’s volleyball team, you kind of figured that if you were really serious about getting a volleyball scholarship for University, you had to get on a better team.

A full-ride athletic scholarship was very important because you knew your parents couldn’t afford it otherwise and you’d just love to take that stress away from them

You were already in 3rd year and time as ticking

Not that anyone knew it, but your parents couldn’t afford your post secondary education because they had to tap into/empty your entire college savings fund in order to afford your lawyer expenses

The money had been used to fight a case against your abusive (all types), much older ex-boyfriend. You were susceptible and groomed in middle school by a 20-year old volleyball coach and you fell for him. It went how it usually goes for girls who stand up against their abuser who has power and was known as a stand-up coach in the community. No one believed you. The restraining order never worked or stopped him and the last time he found you he had beaten you so badly that you were able to put him away for battery only.

Your parents and yourself decided to pick up and move to the countryside of Japan in the hopes of starting fresh. You got to start high school at the charming Karasuno High School since the beginning.

They had a volleyball team, and you would be damned if you let your ex ruin your love for volleyball like he tried ruining your life

Each summer you trained like crazy and even though you were your own judge, you knew you were a force to be reckoned with as a player.

Of course you made the team and you were pretty happy

But you soon realized ‘happy’ did not equate to ‘scholarship’ not even close.

The Karasuno girls volleyball team wasn’t like the boys team, where it took shaking them up, new first years and determination to make them a killer team....

Your team didn’t even garner a 20% turnout at practices.

While your teammates are nice, none of them really saw volleyball as more than a club to satisfy a credit

Which meant you would constantly go over to the boys’ practice and wait until Ukai thought it was fine for you to set some spikes for them....

Kageyama, who became like a little brother to you, would bitch at you for stealing his reps while Sugawara (who was more like a twin brother since you were the same age) would give you corrections

While you had a strict personality by nature, It was great to watch talented setters like them

Improving was imperative because you just had to get that scholarship & if Universities were going to recruit you then you’d need to get to Nationals, at the very least

This was not going to be possible on your current team at Karasuno

Even though you adored your captain/bestie Michimiya —or what you liked to call her: Daichi’s dickrider who was always the only other girl at practice — even she had mentioned to your parents at a sleepover that they should look into other volleyball programs at other schools

She had known of your story because you trusted her so she was set on getting you that scholarship also

Your parents listened to Michimiya and sent your highlight tapes out.

Before you knew it you had been invited to multiple crash-tryouts mid-semester

Soon your parents received many offers, but they believed the best one was from a wealthy private school called Aoba Johsai (aka Seijoh) because they not only had an amazing team, they offered their daughter fully paid room and board on campus.

You immediately agreed because that meant even more money your parents could save after emptying their bank accounts on your awful lawsuit

So, after saying goodbye to your lovable Karasuno boys team and Michimiya, you traded your Karasuno high school uniforms much to Nishinoya’s displeasure for Seijoh’s turquoise accented fits

One week went by

You settled into Aobo Johsai school pretty quickly. The team was practically a shoe-in to win Nationals, especially with you, and your teammates were a little boy crazy but SO intense which you kind of loved.

The intense not the boy crazy .

You could get aggressive when it came to volleyball because you had so much on the line so it was nice to know the girls could take your attitude

Your team and coaches really got your head in the game to the point where you would caught yourself not even thinking about your past relationship some days

You made budding friends especially your roommate who was also on your team and everything was going smoothly for the first week

On your first Friday after move in you and your roommate were running late for practice

On the opposite side of school, Seijoh setter and Ace Oikawa Toru and Iwaizumi Hajime were making their way over to the gym too

They had just finished eating and were asked to run some errands for their coach, which included giving some time sheets to the girls volleyball teams head coach who they knew very well

Their coach happened to be the old captain of the boys team when Iwa and Toru were wee little first years

Iwaizumi had a little pet peeve of long treks with his best friend .... because they would be stopped 50 fucking times by his fan girls for shit-all.

It’s not that Iwaizumi was jealous of his best friend, not really. He knew he was a pretty good looking guy and he was sure Oikawa would die if he didn’t receive that kind of attention so it didn’t matter

It didn’t bother him most the time

But when it interrupted even a simple 10-minute walk to the girls gym it got pretty damn annoying

Granted, he would probably like for the hot girls in school to fawn over him as much as Oikawa but even when girls saw Iwa first and thought he was attractive, they would then see his best friend approaching and Iwaizumi would ultimately be eclipsed by his pretty-boy of a best friend

Oikawa’s bitch of an ex girlfriend once said that if Toru was “The Great King,” then Hajime was the attractive Lord Commander of the Kings Guard. Not as good as the king but, definitely still good.

He hated her lol. ❌ She really thought this was Game of Thrones or something

Iwa’s analogy was better:

It was kind of like that singing group The Pussycat Dolls...... while the other 5 members were smoking hot and talented, Nicole Scherzinger was the main event.

Toru was Nicole.

Maybe he should start calling him “Pussykawa” as a commemoration

Back to the present

Iwa-chan waited with his hands stuffed in his pockets like he always did while his friend thanked his admirers profusely for the compliments and gifts

The girls squealed and told him they’ve been trying to accidentally run into him all day

Yuck, are these chicks not embarassed to admit that? Iwa thought in disgust.

He’s heard worse before though. And then some. Even when they go off-campus on a normal outing to the movies or something with just the boys - Oikawa would be recognized from that volleyball magazine and tv and consequently get swarmed by cute girls. It made a lot of guys unable to even be around Oikawa because they were so insanely jealous

Over the years, Toru lost a lot of friends because of it

But Iwa-chan was a better friend than that. While everyone ditched annoyingkawa.... he endured the eclipse that was his best friend’s so-called peak-attractiveness because he was a real ass friend. They’ve been inseparable since they were kids. So, as much as he hated to admit it, and as much as they tease each other: he’d take a bullet for shittykawa and shittykawa would do the same tenfold.

Anyway, in double the time it should have taken, the 2 boys finally made it to the gym to deliver the sheets to the coach

Iwa walked over to the coach coolly while the girls team mostly stopped to wave and bat their eyelashes at Toru.

“Hey ladies, I saw your last game. Amazing pinch serve Natalie. Leah, awesome receives and—“

Iwa drowned him out as the coach began talking to him.

“Hajime, I thought I told you to keep Mr. Oikawa out of my practices? He distracts my players way too much.”

Iwa shrugged. “I’m not his keeper, coach.”

- Iwa squinted his eyes when he noticed there was one girl on the team that wasn’t gushing over shittykawa. She was setting herself in perfect sets, looking up at the gym ceiling so he couldn’t see her/your face.

Hajime looked away when the other squealed at something Toru said. He sighed. “You need someone on the team that will whip them into shape coac—“ Iwa started to say but he was interrupted by the yelling of that mystery girl. You had your back facing Iwa now because you were facing the group of girls who should be bloody practicing surrounding a boy who just walked into the gym. Getting PTSD from the times when your last team wouldn’t take volleyball seriously, you snapped at them.

“LADIES!” You belted. All the girls jumped from being startled. “I KNOW I’M NEW BUT YOUR AMAZING PARENTS DO NOT PAY 30K A YEAR TO THIS SCHOOL FOR YOU TO BE OVER THERE BEGGING FOR LIKES IN REAL LIFE. WE SHOULD BE PRACTICING! GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE! NOW.”

The girls looked back with widened eyes before they jogged away from the boy, muttering their apologies to you and getting straight to drills.

“You were saying.....?” Laughed Seijoh’s coach to Iwa. He cupped his ear like he was listening. “I need someone on the team that does what now?”

Iwa barely heard because he was too busy staring at you in awe.

“W-wh-who is that?” Iwaizumi asked the coach as he crossed his arms in front of him.

“Meet Y/N L/N. 3rd year. New recruit. Used to be a crow, can you believe it? Tryna get a last minute scholarship. But she’s good. Very analytical. Setter. Brilliant and—“

“Gorgeous.” Iwa finished for the coach, finally gifted with the luxury of seeing your face as you let your bouncy hair out of its ponytail only to do it up again. His throat went dry temporarily.

“Iwa-chan, the new girl is pretty cute right?” Iwaizumi jumped out of his skin when he heard his best friend’s voice right beside him.

“Wha-when when did you get here?!” Hajime accused in surprise.

Oikawa studied his best friend with an amused smile. “Iwa-chan...are you blushing while you stare at our girls team’s new starting setter?!” He clutched his heart for dramatic effect. “I can admit that she’s almost as good looking as me but.... I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush before. My little boy is discovering the joys of the fairer sex.”

Iwaizumi was just about to punch the lights out of his friend for saying something so embarrassing before a volleyball did it for him. It hit Oikawa smack in the head and he fell to the ground.

You ran over in panic because you totally didn’t mean for your flying receive to go that far!

“Oh my God, oh my God I’m soooo sorry!” You ran past another tall boy and attempted to help the one that was on the floor back onto his feet.

Iwaizumi was on cloud nine when you brushed past him because you smelled like citrus. He openly stared at your ass as you bent down.

ya he was definitely going to be attending all of the girls games from now on just to see you

To Iwaizumi, you weren’t just gorgeous with a drool-worthy body, you were athletic, you put your team in their place just like he did without caring about being mean

which ultimately made you a fantasy of his

He wanted to know more about you

He wanted you to choose him.

For the first time, Iwaizumi silently held his breath because now was the part where you would come face-to-face with “the great kingkawa” and fall in love with him like every other girl did.

Iwa braced himself for dejection because for all he knew you hit Toru on purpose to have an excuse to talk to him

It was a volleyball players pick up strategy number #1

I’m serious lol

Well, if you did, at least she is better than the “we tried to run into you” girls, -__- thought Iwa.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” You asked, genuinely concerned.

Iwaizumi caught himself staring at your lips as you spoke to his friend. Keep fucking talking, he thought, as he felt himself get a little aroused at the mere fact that you were so close. Blame him as you may but he wanted those lips of yours to move against his lips, and on his chest, and on his.....well, you know.

Iwa mentally slapped himself. God, he’s already having day dreams about you?! And he had just seen you for the first time 10 minutes ago??!! He needed to get it together.

Oikawa shook his head and blushed in response to your question. While he may get tons of female attention, he was still a guy, and he still recognized that you were really beautiful. Standing up, Oikawa smiled down at you. “I’m fine. No need for alarm, new princess. I can still attend the boys vs. girls game next week so there’s no need to cry or worry....”

You looked up at the boy curiously.

No one could have prepared themselves for what you were about to say to Oikawa next:

“Oh, are you on the boys team? Are you the manager?”

“World Stop.” - *Beyoncé voice*

..........

ummmmmmm

ummmmmmmmm

err-what’s worse than saying RIP Oikawa?

‘Sorry that you just ceased to exist’, Oikawa?

Iwaizumi froze when he heard what you said, instantaneously falling in love with you.

it’s possible ok? fight me

If there was ever a time when fast love was possible it would be now aight

Stunnedkawa, on the other hand, had frozen too.... but for entirely different reasons than his friend’s. He drew into himself, shutting his mouth and walking away like he was in a trance. He muttered something about going back to the room he and Iwaizumi shared and Iwaizumi watched him pass a few girls who were calling to him like he couldn’t even hear them.

“Strange guy.” You shrugged, turning your attention to the other guy who you thought truly looked like a volleyball player. “Can you make sure to tell your manager that I’m sorry for hitting him?” You ask hopefully.

Iwaizumi nods as you two maintain eye contact.

She’s perfect, he thinks

This man is so fine, you think. Tall, broad shoulders, brunette, looks like he could go for rounds, yes ma’am!

You snap back out of it, giving him an apologetic smile before running back to the court to finish the drills. Iwa melted at your smile. You yelled some more at your teammates who looked to be flirting with some more boys who came in.

Iwa’s gaze followed you as you moved out of earshot, unable to take his eyes off of you as you yelled again.

He thought you were beyonnnnd sexy when you yelled like that

Hajime didn’t know he had a type before today but he knows now that his ideal type is whatever comes closest to you

The girl’s coach, who was still standing beside Iwaizumi, nudged him lightly with his elbow.

“You stare at Y/N any harder and I think you actually will manage to ask her out telepathically.”

Iwa let a small smile grace his face. The desire to ask you out had taken off when he saw your little ponytail release. Now it was about — “Hey, thanks for the advice.” He mumbled sarcastically. “But, hey coach?” Iwaizumi asks in his deep voice, clearing his throat and still not taking his eyes off of you.

The coach turned to Iwa.

“Yeah?”

He smirked to himself. “Know any good jewelry stores in the city? I’m ready to buy your new setter an engagement ring.”

—————————-

Let me know if you guys want a part 2 to this bc I couldn’t get to the confession in this post obviously.... I was writing too much. In part 2 I’m thinking you and Iwa run into your ex one day? And we see that Seijoh boys vs. Girls volleyball match? You decide!

Ps. I almost titled this story Iwaizumi x “The New Girl That Fucked Shit Up” lmao

[starryjyrus]

What Jyrus Means Too Me and Why I’ll Never Be Fully Won Over By Tyrus:

!!TW OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND DISCUSSION OF MENTAL HEALTH!!

The Summer of 2017 was by far the best Summer I’ve ever had, it’s kind of a shame it was followed by the worst Summer I’ve ever had..

Anyway, back at that time I had been really into SmurfVlogs (still am, I’ve been watching him since about 2015-16 I’d say) anyway, everyone had been mourning the loss of Girl Meets World and he had announced on his channel that Disney planned on making a show similar to GMW and that the pilot had been released on YouTube, I became hella curious especially when I had heard the rumor that there was a possibility of a gay main character and that there was supposedly going to be a gay love triangle between Cyrus/Andi/Jonah, this definitely peaked my interest considering Disney, outside of Good Luck Charlie and a few other cameo like characters/relationships spotted in different movies/series, like Finding Dory, hadn’t really had that. And a MAIN character? Possibly TWO main characters being LGBT? I obviously had to watch. I of course heard other things that made the series look good, ie the Teenage Pregnancy storyline, the diversity in casting and more, but this is what sold me. Thus started my obsession.

Anyway, I watched the show. I watched the first episode on YouTube and continued watching after that, I remember the break in between the middle of season 1 that was only like two weeks, I remember seeing missing scenes in the show that wasn’t in the original promo (their was a shot of the coming out scene in the season one promo, if it wasn’t obvious to some episode 1 of season 2, or at least the first half, was originally the episode 13 of season 1) and I remember the speculation around that and the reasoning as to why they had cut that scene out.

I was in love with it. The whole storyline was just so pure and the relationship between Jonah and Cyrus was the single best thing I’ve ever witnessed. I made a fan account on Insta for it, a Tumblr, edits and so much more. The whole community was so beautiful and it was so much fun and wholesome. I’d watch the show and remember how amazing the world could be, how something like the ‘friendom’ could exist haha. I was getting older and I know it seemed weird (I was going into my Sophomore year, possibly just ending my Freshman year of school when I started watching) to be so invested in a CHILDS show but I couldn’t help it. It was an escape from reality. A place with positivity and happiness which at that time I desperately needed.

I made some of my best memories of my life during that time of the show premiering and during the hiatus. And the majority was because of things in relation to Jyrus. I’ll never forget those times and what being connected into a fandom like that was like.

The friends, the edits, the Insta live-streams from casts, it was insane too see how happy they got from it all and how much of a new experience it was. Other things like the Asher ‘be you’ memes and Josh on here with his ‘persongoingfast’ tumblr made it great as well. Even if I’m not a big fan of Josh as a person now, due to reasons, (mainly with him seemingly making fun of or mocking Jyrus and stuff like that, considering I used to really look up to him and be a big fan to see belittle something I cared so deeply about hurt me on a level l cannot describe) him being so interactive then was still an amazing thing and helped make things so much more fun at that time, so thank you @joshua-rush for that. Sincerely.

Everything was so beautiful during that..until it lwasn’t.

My mental health got really bad due to some losses and such in my family around November of 2017 and I had to be hospitalized in a mental health facility for a few weeks. It was extremely scary but I found comfort in the place, mainly due to some fellow people inside that watched Andi Mack, relating to them and being able to talk about the show with people who actually watched it? It was incredible. No one up to that point (aside from my mom who I forced to watch with me) watched the show and could talk with me about it.

I got out and the support and concern I get from friends online was overwhelming, so many people cared about me while I was gone and worried about me. No one ever really did that, at least my friends didn’t, I remember opening my phone for the first time on the way back home when we stopped at a McDonalds and the amount of messages put me into tears. There were people online who I’ve never met and we only really knew each other through a ship and a show genuinely CARED about me? It was breathtaking. I have much more friends now that would be concerned and care about me, but at that time irl I really didn’t. And the fact so many did was unbelievable.

Everything slowly but surely was getting better and worse in some areas, my overall depression state was getting better, due to medication and such, but I had relapses a few times in bad areas like self harming as well. It was pretty back and forth for a while.

Then, the worst thing that could’ve happened, happened. A quick backstory is that I don’t live with my mom, I haven’t since 7th grade and instead have lived with my Great Aunt and Great Uncle. I was always very close to them for my entire life, especially my Great Uncle, he was for a long time the most important person in my life, he was like a father too me. Hell, he WAS my father for the majority of my life. And last year on July 11th, he had unfortunately passed away.

This was absolutely devastating and considering I already was struggling with mental health and depression in the first place..ya can probably guess the spiral that ensured.

For a while I was doing okay, and then one day I broke, it had been around the time of Cyrus confirming he no longer had a crush on Jonah and when everyone started to switch from Jyrus to Tyrus and Jyrus shipper hatred became pretty popular. People were sending a specific Jyrus shipper anons of saying they wished they’d die just because they shipped Jyrus, you couldn’t go on YouTube comment sections on videos about Jyrus because you had people shitting on it everywhere, people started commenting under Jyrus edits on Instagram about how Tyrus was better and how gross it was to ship Jyrus, I got DMs of people genuinely upset because I didn’t like Tyrus, I had friends leave the sites due to the bullying they were receiving, we had some Tyrus account going around saying Jyrus shippers were ped*philes, It was insane. Now, I of course was NO saint and I know I’ve done and said some messed up shit too and if I ever hurt anyone I am deeply sorry for that, it was not my intention. And I know Jyrus shippers are not all saints either but this was just out of control. Especially whenever it was hurting a lot of people who were innocent and making them feel wrong about something as little as shipping something.

And I had a mental breakdown. I had just lost the most important person in my life and now the place that I considered my safe haven was crumbling before my eyes and all I could do was watch. It was too much. I had people saying they wanted shippers like me dead, and finally I just couldn’t handle it and completely had a melt down. If you are already having thoughts like these and you have people reinforcing what you already thought and not making you feel like you belong, well, anywhere, it really does get too you.

I of course, came out alright. Thank you to the Tumblr creator that called the police that night for a lot of that.

I’m sorry this is so long but I’ve been holding this in for so long so please bare with me.

Anyway, I am doing much better now and I’m thankful to be here still. I’m learning to fight against the haters rather then take shit and bottle things up like I used too. I still have a lot of issues but since that awful night, I haven’t had any plans of suicide or many thoughts of it.

I’m going into my last year of high school and soon I’ll be a legal adult. It’s been such a ride to get here and honestly I never thought I would but I finally think I’m getting past all of the shit in my past and am moving on.

My main reason to make this post and to be so open about everything here was to try to explain a lot of why I’m always going to be for Jyrus and not so much for Tyrus. I have other issues then the fans when it comes to Tyrus, but it has always been a main one when it comes to me not wanting to ship it.

When I look at Jyrus, despite them being pure and amazing on their own, I see some of my last good memories, I see the best time of my life, I see a point where I felt the best and where everything was going really right too me, I see long lasting friends, I see beautiful edits, I see a community, I see love, I see loyalty and so much more.

But when I look at Tyrus, all I see is the bad memories I have associated with them and the shippers, in a lot of ways, Tyrus has been a huge source of my personal pain in life, I know it seems silly and it probably is, but I have such an emotional dependence on Jyrus and Tyrus messed me up in a lot of ways in regards to that. I lost the majority of my safe haven when they emerged as more then just a crack ship. All I see when I look at them is sadness and that’s all I’m probably going ever going to see.

I tried in numerous areas to get fully on board with the ship but I just can’t. I have no love for it in a way I do for Jyrus. It’s not a terrible ship, I know that, but throughout everything that has happened even if it had no flaws I don’t think I’d ever ship it a lot.

I know everyone has their own version of things and reasons why they ship what they ship or don’t ship what they ship or like some shippers but hate others, this is just my personal story on the matter and I hope it clears up some of why I act the way I do online sometimes and why I’m so defensive of the ship and shippers.

Sorry this was so weird, I just needed to get this off of my chest cause I’ve had it in there for so long and I needed to talk about it.

[age-sliding-flug]

FAQ/Q&A

Figured I outta do this, just so everyone knows my pronouns/so I can answer some questions in advance.

PERSONAL QUESTIONS

Q: What are your pronouns? A: He/Him, please.

Q: What’s your name? A: Harrison [REDACTED], but y’all can call me Harry :3

Q: How old are you? A: [REDACTED] (Not comfortable with sharing, but I am 18+)

Q: How long have you been writing? A: 6+ years; pretty much all fanfiction. Working on a few original projects, but I’ll probably never share them here.

Q: Why so secretive? A: I hate to admit it, but age-sliding isn’t exactly well received by most folks, as most people associate mental regression with DDLG/CGL sexual play, which is... problematic, to say the least. Also, I’m very shy. (I swear to fuck if any of you send my series to Alan, I will fucking kill you. I would die of embarrassment.)

Q: Is Harry even your real name? A: No, it’s not my most preferred name. I’m a trans guy, so I’m already coming up with a new name for myself; thought I’d experiment with one I liked on here, even if I already pretty much have my new name figured out. (And no, it’s not Harry as in Harry Potter, it’s Harry as in Harry Dresden from The Dresden Files)

Q: Do you age-slide? What even IS age-sliding? A: Yes, I do indeed age-slide, but it’s not as often as it used to be for me; a lot of this series is me low-key coping with my age-sliding issues. As for what age-sliding is, age-sliding is when someone- typically an adult/older teenager- will mentally regress. More often than not, this is due to trauma from the age-slider’s youth (such is the case with me), and is the mind’s attempt to return to what was perceived to be a simpler/safer time. It’s different for everyone, and can be on different levels of manageable/difficult to deal with.

Q: Why is your AO3 username BottomDeathstroke if you’ve only written Villainous fics on there? A: That account was never intended to be for this series- which wasn’t planned to even be a series to begin with- and was intended to be a place for me to write and post NSFW/unrelated mental regression DCU fanfiction (starring Deathstroke usually, because I love him). Once this series is done, I’ll probably post that sort of content on there, but for now Villainous has taken over my life.

Q: What’s your main account? Both on AO3 and Tumblr? A: [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]

Q: What did you think of Villainous’ pilot? A: I absolutely loved it! I actually wrote an alternate ending fic for it set in the AU, which you can check out here! The pilot is very good, please watch it on YouTube and support the people behind it!

Q: Are you okay with getting asks/questions/prompts? A: Absolutely! I’m always happy to answer people’s questions; whether they’re about age-sliding, the series, or just from a few curious anons!

Q: Can people do fanart? A: YES!!! A thousands times yes!!! Gosh, that would absolutely make my day! If you do any fanart, please either send me a link/submit it to me and I’ll make sure to check it out/post it on this blog! If you want to be labeled as anonymous through a submission, please let me know so that I can list you as such!

FIC/SERIES QUESTIONS

Q: Did any other fics inspire this one? A: Yes! “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Scientist” on AO3 by yucky was a HUGE inspiration for this series. I know they haven’t updated in awhile, but the fic in general is very good, and definitely has some elements that I really like! Please check it out if you can, and send the author your support!

Q: What made you start writing this fic series? A: TBH, I dunno. I had just moved to [REDACTED] at the time I started, and was feeling incredibly lonely (I also was just getting over 1+ year’s worth of writer’s block). I only intended the first fic to be a one off sorta deal, but to my surprise, people seemed to actually like it, so that gave me the courage to keep going and, well... I got thinking about the rules of this AU’s universe/added the Heroic Crew, and from there everything spiraled out of control.

Q: Where can I find your fic series? A: I plan on posting full descriptions/links on this blog at some point, but for now, here’s a link to my AO3 profile: BottomDeathstroke.

Q: How old is everyone in the fic series? A: Okay, lemme list the ages from oldest to youngest: Black Hat: 1000+ White Hat: 1000+ Clemencia: 32 Demencia: 31 Slug: 22 Flug: 18 505: 2 606: 2

Q: Is this series going to go on forever or is there a planned ending? A: All too often I see age-sliding/mental regression fics go on for a bit, only to suddenly stop updating, which is pretty disappointing tbh. I do plan on having a big finale (that’s gonna be one hell of an emotional roller-coaster), but that’s not for quite awhile, as I want to fulfill all my planned fics (Flug confronting his mom, talking about where tf Slug and Flug’s dad went, Black Hat and White Hat origins, Clemencia and Demencia babysitting, winter holiday special, Halloween special, Black Hat teaching Flug to play the piano, etc) as well as do a few requests/ideas for the readers.

Q: What’s the ending gonna be? A: ;3

Q: Why is Flug trans? A: Because I’m trans and projecting, next question.

Q: Any other LGBT+ headcanons for the cast? A: Uuuuuuuuuh, Clemencia’s a lesbian, Demencia and Black Hat are bi af, White Hat is pan, Slug is gay and in the closet, Flug and BH are both trans but handle it in very different ways, and 505 and 606 are... bears. Yeah. I also see Flug as ace, so there’s that. The projection is strong with him.

Q: How old are Black Hat and White EXACTLY? A: Fuck if I know. They’re supposed to be from the very dawn of man, but the few times I’ve mentioned their ages during different time periods, I’ve realized how much I’ve fucked myself over doing that. Does it really matter? Probably not, but I like to be organized and flesh out the universe, so I’m dying, y’all.

Q: Why so much world building? A: I dunno, it’s just the way I am. I like a precise set of rules within my stories, and I like to delve into the politics of that story out of sheer curiosity. Besides, I’ve always been a huge superhero/supervillain fan, so getting into how those professions would actually WORK in a developed universe is fun for me!

Q: Has canon content ruined anything for you? A: Not really, but it’s changed my theories for people quite a bit (particularly for BH’s origins and Flug’s backstory). I’ll admit, there are certain things that I sometimes wish I had done differently, if only to fit my current theories for where the series is heading. But I don’t regret the headcanons I used for this series, and I’m gonna stick to them throughout, even if I don’t believe all of them are true anymore! (Y’all can take trans Flug from my cold, head fucking hands, tho.)

Q: Why are you writing a Heroic backstory fic if they’re not even canon characters? A: First of all, they’re canon in my heart. Second of all, I just thought it would be fun to write, and it definitely has been! Writing it has been interesting to say the least (and an important lesson on why long WIPs are a bad idea for me, rip), but I don’t regret it, and I’m proud of how it’s going so far! Still, definitely looking forward to getting back to our villainous favorites.

Q: When ARE you getting back to the Villainous characters? A: Soon, I promise. In the meantime, I DID write a fic with them in it recently,. Which, again, you can check out over here, as it’s an alternate ending rewrite for the pilot episode. But yeah, they’ll be back soon, I just want to finish “Taming a Stray” first.

I think that’s it for now! Lemme know if you guys have anymore questions that need answering, and I’ll be sure to add them to this post (or answer separately)! Have a good day!

[supercasey]

Why I don't make many friends over the internet anymore

Alright, so, I know I've vagued about this a lot. I know I've been leaving y'all in the dark, and I'm sorry for that. I thought I could hold this all in until it went away, but she isn't going away, and I don't want to be angry anymore; I just want to move on and get better.

So yeah... This is why I don't try to make friends online anymore. This is why I don't talk online much at all. This is what happened. Take it as you will, all I ask is that you understand that I'm at my limit with this person, and I ask that you please don't harass her once you realize all that went down (if you even figure out who she is. She's sorta... infamous in the RvB fandom, and not in a good way). I just want her to leave me alone, and starting a fight won't solve this mess.

It started with a bad fanfic that I wrote.

...

I will not say the name, but I wrote it for RvB and it was... a vent story. On my alternate account. About... gross shit. I double guessed posting it at all but I was determined to vent about my fucking issues, and this seemed like the best way to do so. And, surprise surprise... It's my most well received RvB fic, and I'm not even taking full credit for it.

To make it simple, it's about age regression. No, it is not sexualized. No, I don't get off on it. Yes... I age-slide. I hate it. It hasn't happened in a bit here, but I still hate it, so I made a fic where the characters are forcibly made to age-slide and it's written out as the psychological horror that it's meant to be. Except... there was always this one Anon, the one consistently rooting for the villains. Even when the heroes were rescued, they begged for more time with the heroes kidnapped and abused. They loved their "pwecious wittle babies UwU" and wanted nothing more but for the torture to continue.

I... humored them. I joked and bantered, but nothing was done. I never undid the rescue, and while the characters were still very much suffering from the results of their kidnapping, they were actively recovering, and I loved it. The small crowd of regulars I had following my story were pleased, and always willing to give me support. I felt validated. I felt good knowing that I was able to expose age-sliding in a way that wasn't grossly sexualized or enjoyed. While the characters were happy at times, it was a naive happiness, and it was made clear that what was happening wasn't safe or okay.

A few months pass without an update. I've grown a bit tired of the story, still plagued by self doubtful fears of my work being perceived as some sexual bastardization of a story. Then, one day, I get a message on Tumblr. I don't recognize the username but... they found me out. They knew it was me writing the story (to be fair my style kinda stands out in the fandom, not to mention that I'm bad at lying) and they wanted to talk about it. I was, of course, fucking terrified. But, to my utter surprise... they liked it. And they wanted to discuss my thoughts on it!

I was estatic! Finally, someone who understood! Someone who I could talk to about this horror story that means so much to me! However, it soon became clear that we interpreted the story... very differently. Where I used it as a means of venting and exposing the trauma of unwillingly regressing at a moment's notice, my newfound "friend" loved the "baby fantasy" and wanted to "adopt" the main characters, especially the boy.

I kinda just... enabled it. No, I encouraged it. I was so desperate for a friend, I actively wrote little things for her where the age-sliding was more consensual/enjoyable, all while wishing for it to go back to being an insight on abuse. But it never was about that; it was about fulfilling her needs and making a baby doll for her to fantasize about.

Before long, we had been chitchatting back and forth for a few months, and eventually over a year. I was happy, or at least, I convinced myself that I was. I struggled to respond regularly so it wasn't that bad, right? I wasn't always around her so I couldn't be that upset, right? Time passes, I idly mention having an online friend to my family and they, the loving family that they are, support me. They're amazed that the loner of the family has finally made an actual online friend.

Suddenly, talk of meeting face to face becomes commonplace. She's in Washington and I'm in Michigan, so I figure it's never gonna happen. I'm wrong. The year is 2018, and February's just hit. Talk of RTX has started, and I, a shy little RvB fan with hardly any money, know I'm not going. But my friend is. She's excited, already telling me about her plans, when she suddenly asks if I'm going.

I of course say no. I mean, come on, I'm not even close to rich enough to pay for a whole trip across the US. But my friend is... insistent. I make if clear that I can't afford it, and out of the blue, she offers to take me. No strings attached, no payment on my part (except of course for merch), just bring... me.

I'm of course floored. RTX? Really? My siblings and I have always wanted to go, ever since we started with AH videos. But here it is, right in front of me. An opportunity to go to the biggest convention I've ever heard of, and she... really wasn't taking no for an answer. I tell her that I'll think about it, that I need time to figure it out. She assures me that it's fine, take all the time I need. I tell my family about the offer, about how I've known her for over a year and trust her (I don't, but I'm too afraid to admit it). Mom's scared, but at the promise of a video call with my friend, she chills out. Dad's supportive, but also a bit worried. My siblings are over the moon, excited for me and raring to someday go as well.

It's obvious, right? Now I have to go. After all, my friend HAS to have someone go with her, and no one else she knows wants to go. After all, my siblings have always wanted to go, and it would be shitty to say no when they'd say yes in a heartbeat. After all, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and really, who wouldn't?

I say yes. I save all the money I can, my dad video chats her, and then... I'm off. I fly to Texas (I insisted on buying my own plane ticket). Up to that point I had never left my family before, not for over forty-eight hours, and yet here I was, leaving for over a week. My therapist, my parents, and my siblings were all cheering for me to go, to get out of my comfort zone and do the thing I never should've been able to do.

I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was scared I wouldn't come home alive.

I land in Austin, Texas the day before RTX begins. I meet her in the airport. I'd already seen her face before, so I wasn't exactly surprised, but I felt safer seeing she was a bit heavier. I could outrun her, if need be. I could get away, if she tried to take me. Unless I was in headspace. Unless I was a little fucking baby. Unless I was sliding and woke up on a one way trip to Washington-

I shook my head. No, I thought. No, I'll be okay. Stop being paranoid, Ted, it's all in your fucking head. Again. Paranoid motherfucker.

We got to our hotel room, and after a long day of walking around and exploring Austin, we called it an early night, eager for tomorrow's adventures.

It was fun, at least at first. She got me a platinum badge, so we got a garanteed spot everywhere we went. There was a cool-ass rec room for platinum badge wearers where we could chill in-between events. I stuck close to her, as she's been to RTX a thousand times over, and I felt like it was going to be okay. That night, I streamed all of Nomad of Nowhere, and intended on going to the panel the next day. Unfortunately, things took a... bad turn.

You see, my friend had enemies. People she believes are "heartless abusers who are evil and cannot be trusted", especially not near me. Well, I'm a dumbass, and I can't keep track of everyone in her fucking burn book (too many names to count). Cue a mutual from Tumblr contacting me, wishing to finally meet me in person (I made a post about being at RTX and they saw it). I, of course, agreed.

Later, I nonchalantly mention that I'm going to meet up with a mutual at the RvB panel. She asks who it is. Still unaware of the shift in my friend's mood, I casually say the username. She goes white.

"I'm sorry, did you say [INSERT NAME]?"

"Uh... Yeah? Is that... bad?"

Holy. Fucking. Shit. She loses it, sobbing like I shot her dog. Empathetic little bastard that I am, I also begin to cry, begging to know what's wrong. Cue a lot of "How could you!?"s Followed by me desperately apologizing, still completely in the dark.

Apparently, my mutual? Her worst enemy. Number one. They who must not be named. And me, a dumbass with PTSD induced memory issues, did not remember the one time she mentioned them. So now I'm fucked, in-between a sobbing friend and a promise to meet a mutual. I've gotta fix this, and fast. I was scared, and in a panic, I promised her that, no, I'm not meeting to "be their friend". I'm just... seeing what they look like! So I can protect my REAL friend!

This all felt very dramatic, and honestly a tad juvenile. Here we were, me just shy of twenty, and her over twenty-one. I felt like I was in second grade, promising not to be friends with anyone else on the playground. Hell, I was still in the dark as to what this person had fucking DONE.

Later, we meet. My mutual is, unsurprisingly, incredibly nice and sweet. We compliment each other's writing in the back of the room after the panel, all while I know my friend is watching from afar, glaring at us. I make it quick, too scared to get in trouble, and then it's over. I felt like such an asshole, blowing my mutual off, but I was afraid of the lion a few feet away, ready to pounce and maim me.

Afterwards, I was grilled about our talk. What'd we talk about? What did they say? Was that laughing she heard? Were we laughing at her? *Gasp* Am I turning on her!? Oh, she knew it, she knew it! I'm an ABUSER! Another monster!

This, of course, gets me crying. I'm empathetic as all hell and as a result I'm unfortunately prone to taking on other's emotions. She knows this. We get out of there, but the tension is high. She has a panel only she's interested in, so I stay alone in the hotel room.

Again, I made the most of it. I binged all of Nomad of Nowhere for the first time, and it was enough to calm me down. Delighted, I discovered that the panel for NoN would be the next day, around noon. When my friend returned, I was quick to fill her in, begging if we could go. She smiled, and promised we would. I fell asleep quickly that night, momentarily forgetting the drama for a bit.

The next morning, my friend's dead quiet. I ask if she's alright, and I'm repeatedly assured that she's fine. We reach the convention center around 8AM, and agree to meet up at 11 so we can catch the NoN panel together. I run off to wander and explore, and my friend goes off on her own for awhile.

For two hours, I'm chill. Everything's super. I talk to cosplayers and I listen to my music, and at around 10AM... I get a worrying text from my friend. I'm not going to post screenshots (because they're out of context/confusing/taking screenshots for a call out makes me feel shitty) but it started as her repeatedly saying how her enemy was "ruining the con for her" and how she was crying. I immediately start looking for her, but I have no idea where she is. Just as I'm getting ready to check the hotel, she sends me this:

"I'm writing down a statement!" ((Reporting my mutual))

I panic. I'm fuckin' bolting through the con, looking for the help desk. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I'm scared I'm gonna pass out. Thankfully, I find a guardian. She leads me to the help desk and there my friend is, crying her eyes out while filling out a form to report her enemy for... existing. And being "mean" to her on Tumblr. Yeah.

I was still kinda having a panic attack when this occurred, so it's kinda blurry at bits. I remember sitting on the floor next to her (there weren't a lot of chairs and I didn't want to be rude and ask for one) and rubbing her back. I gave her my extra Arizona green tea because it was still cold and had honey in it.

The guardians praised me, saying I was a great friend. I felt like the scum of the earth.

Awhile passed. She filled out her form, and after the guardians checked over her "screenshot evidence", they told her there was nothing they could- or should- do. They chilled her out and told her it was HER con, and to not let some bully get in the way of it. Tearfully, I apologized over and over again. They just smiled and assured me that it was fine. It wasn't.

We almost missed the NoN panel. Almost. I wonder, sometimes, if that was intentional.

I should mention now, while I have the chance, that I was keeping contact with my older brother through all of this. When I was sitting on the floor panicking, I texted my brother for advice. He offered to talk to my friend about this (I knew exactly how that would go, considering how my friend was), and I just... cried. Cried and begged him not to make my friend mad. He didn't, but I could tell he was willing (and wanting) to tell her off.

The rest of the convention went... bumpy. There were a few more meltdowns, but overall, I survived. We went to the airport early (because I was afraid) because there was nothing to do, and after she left to wait for her flight... I felt safe again. I breathed in. I breathed out. If I cried, all the more reason to leave early.

Back home, life returned to normal. My older brother was worried about me, but I blew him off in favor of trying to be like him and have a successful online friendship. I was not backing down. People are sensitive sometimes, right? It doesn't matter that her reasons for hating my mutual are inaccurate and fake. I'm her friend. It doesn't matter that she scares me. She took me to RTX. It doesn't matter that I'd rather die than keep talking to her when all she does is make me afraid. I owe her. She's been nothing but kind. I'm just a selfish, greedy little bastard that needs to be grateful and stop questioning this.

It gets worse. Now she wants to know everything about me. She wants to hear every detail of my trauma, every moment of fear or weakness. I tell her I'm scared, and not ready.

"Just a little, sweetie. Just tell me a bit. How am I supposed to be your friend if I don't know what's damaged you? How am I supposed to have you if you keep running to your big brother?"

So... I told her everything. I tried to keep it small, but lord knows I'm an oversharing mess. The minute I start, I can't stop. She knows that. A few hours and it's all typed out; my heart, my soul, my damaged bastard of a body. She says she loves me. She says she'll take care of me forever. I tell her I need a break, and for over two weeks I'm mentally fucked, drifting in and out of headspace, struggling to coexist with my dug up trauma. I'm drowning. I'm scared.

While all of this occurred, my friend took it too far. When discussions of next year's RTX came up (always from her. I'm never going back there, not with her, maybe never again), she balked at the thought of me bringing my siblings (with them paying for themselves of course).

Mostly, she feared my brother. She caught wind of his suspicions, and immediately began to try and convince me that my brother was Bad, and he was gonna Hurt Her. Didn't I promise to protect her? Didn't I promise to keep her safe? Now's the time, Ted, chop chop! Your best friend needs you!

Except... she was a dumbass to think I'd ever turn on my brother. One night, after all of this; after telling her everything about me, after sharing my deepest traumas, after refusing to turn against my brother... She went off. She began mass texting me, accusing me of abusing her, of being a monster. How could I? How could I be so mean and terrible? That must make me an abuser, and all abusers are the same! Evil!

I was... shocked. And hurt. And crying. I broke down, and finally- fucking finally- I told my brother everything. About the emotional abuse, about the pressure, about the guilt... I must've talked for two hours straight, just flipping out. By the end, I was ready to do what I needed to do, and with my brother's support... I cut ties. I told her I was done.

Three days later (she always texted back right away, so I knew she was giving me time to wonder what she'd do) she responded with a "I think we need a break from each other :/ we're both pretty terrible, huh? :/// Mostly you but whatever bye ://///"

Since then, I've been trying to get better. She still sometimes does things in order to remind me that she's around and stalking my Tumblr (sent a few messages before she abruptly deleted the blog she used to talk to me (still has her main), passive aggressively messaged me for a spell, finally made me lose my cool by harassing my sister, etc) but I'm trying to ignore it.

I know this is a lot... but they're hard lessons to learn, and I'd much rather you all learn them through my stupid actions before you get hurt or cornered: Not everyone online is your friend. Just because they say they love you doesn't mean they love YOU. Trust your fucking gut before you drag your ass onto a plane because someone told you to. And most importantly of all... Not everyone you're told to hate is bad, because guess what? Everytime I've been down, been questioning shit, or just vented, do you know who's almost always responded? The very mutual I was told was evil. And you know what else? I found out every fuckin' thing my ex said about them was a straight up lie; every screenshot was fake/out of context, and every "abusive" word was from my ex, not my mutual.

So yeah... I know better now, Natalie. I hope that if you see this, you actually try and get help. You need to realize that you don't own people, and that you can't force everyone who doesn't adore you to be an antagonist in your story... all you're doing is hurting yourself. I never lied when I said I loved you; I still sorta do, even after what you've done to me. I fucking love you, Natalie, and it's because I love you that I'm getting away from you. Please oh please get yourself actual help, before you make things any worse for yourself.

Sincerely, Ted.

[throneuniversity-rpg]

Good afternoon, hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. I wanted to address receiving a screenshot of Throne and myself being brought up at another RPG which is a complete rip off of Throne down to the many FCs introduced here that show up there moments after debuting here; because it’s only obvious how much their rules, formats, apps, etc are from here. And that in itself is fine. Imitation is a form of flattery and I know not everyone can be as creative as others.

I’ve been stalked and harassed by these same people for years before they were kindly asked to leave for the millionth time which they finally did but not without still creating characters here to stalk and copy everything. Now, if you don’t know what TU is TU is your example and your mother roleplay. You don’t usually post anons regarding Throne or other RPs we have been made known about, that you steal from so why now would you post an anon regarding us? Especially when the message was private for members only? You and the anon are bothered. But thank you for the advertisement. For years, I took the higher road as the main admin and let it slip by while others lied and threw tantrums over nothing. I could have simply exposed every single person but that’s not how you run a successful RPG. Throne is talked about by many people with good sense and rph’s message the account telling us how much they love Throne and how I have set the bar for how to run and maintain an RPG. As for why I mentioned closing down TU, I’m simply over role playing and like I told you before yall ran off to send an anon, everyone is free to join your xerox copy of an RPG and the many wonderful ones sitting in the tags. It’s no hard feelings. At the end of the day it will still feel like they’re at TU since everything is pretty much the same down to the members. So instead of trying to make yourself feel like you won something, be grateful and happy you might gain new members. But some people IQs are so low they don’t know a good thing when it’s staring in their eyes. My characters have always brought the entertainment. They’ve always kept your characters in something and always kept the RPG fun. Isn’t that why most of you stayed on aim and other chat groups spending time you can never get back, wondering who I play just so you can link up with them? You can’t even hate right. The hate became obsession and love. And since I’ve practically raised most of you from high school to college, you’re welcome and I truly love you too, but you need to get over it. Roleplaying is a hobby. A hobby is for fun. There’s also fun outside of the internet. Make real life friends and connections and you’ll know that for yourselves. Throne can remain open for the next 10 years and it’ll still have loyal members and some of yours who keep coming back and forth here. You better ask your friends that return under their real aliases. You better ask your coadmin herself. You still operate in the mindset of a child who’s immature and that’s okay, I raised you so I’ll mother you. I raised a lot of people. You clearly don’t know your black role playing history because I created this lane; twice. I opened the first urban/majorly black roleplay on the internet. Before then role playing was for the white kids and not as you know it to be. The reasons you go on forums to role-play and the way they’re formatted is because of me and my ideas. You better find an old head and ask about me. The same way Throne was the first of its kind and now many others take after it including yourself. Tumblr RP original style is not the way Throne is and has always been. Just to remind you how much you're hating but again enjoying something from the fruits of your obsession. Guaranteed and please believe that my current character has enough drama and enough of a plot to keep going on and on. If you and others want Throne to keep its lights on you'll just have to keep roleplaying, be active and participate like I said in the message. I don't mind keeping it open, just don't expect me to get online every day to babysit anyone. I have other real life interests and kept Throne so that its loyal members who I really appreciate, can have fun in a place they enjoy being at. Why don't you advertise in their private messages if you want them to join Death Row so damn bad? It's not like you're below doing do, you did it to get the members you have now. Again, don't mention TU ever again or I can show you how petty the main admin really is. Appreciate the class and maturity that has been set as an example for you and understand that many people do not like you or your copy catting or bashing. You just have to ask WeChat roleplayers for that tea. I will go back to playing nice again and I'll only address you to change your diaper my child. Just because TU never responds to negativity does not mean it's a free for all. Mind yourselves. You don't run anything when you wait on our command first. New Years development anyone? Enjoy your RPG and stop worrying so much about what's going on here if it's green pastures over there. Otherwise, you're showing how badly we control your mind. For that you need to breath, stretch, shake, let it go. To the members who are unsatisfied enough to “send anons” to other RPGs about us, please understand no tears will ever be shed by you leaving. You must not be contributing a single thing here if you felt messy enough to do so. I've had many successful RPG's that all ran 3+ years each. I can go into boredom again and create another one. But I'm over it, when you've done something for so long, it gets stagnant. Throne is open because the loyal members roleplay every single day and keep it going, that's really it. So they get all the credit. If you don't like it, leave. If you love it, join. We always accept new members and characters. You're free to play out your roleplaying plots and fantasies all day, as long as you're not breaking any rules. It's simple. We hope you all have a nice day and to the hit dogs: Holler on!

[sweetradfem-blog]

can i ask how you deal with all the 'terf' fearmongering and virtue signalling and awful misconceptions and mean things ppl say about radfems? im quite new to radfeminism & am learning (secretly lol b/c tumblr is libfem Hell) but all the negativity and sheer lies etc. people spread about ''terfs'' and radfems make me feel nauseous and lose faith in ppl. i get anxiety every time a 'kill all terfs' post pops on my dash or like ppl talking abt 'terfs' like they're not even humans deserving respect?

hey anon 👋 thanks for messaging me! i'd say that my main way of dealing with it is to completely separate my main personal blog and my radfem blog - as in have different accounts. not only is this good for my safety as following radfem blogs gets them reccomended to your followers under their name, but it's nice to just retreat to a dashboard full of radfem discourse whenever i'm getting frustrated with tumblr flavour feminism to remind myself that actually there are people who get it out there! so my first advice would actually be to follow (on a different account) plenty of radfem blogs even if solely for the reassurance that you're not the only one. I've been quite lucky so far bc none of my posts have really reached past radfem tumblr so i'm not on any block lists yet and haven't received any anon hate. if u want to set up a separate blog to follow radfems but don't want to post anything on it for your safety, that's fine too!as for all the 'kill all terfs' posts, i admit i find them worrying and for that reason I also don't think i'd ever admit irl to being gender critical. but i try and reassure myself by seeing these posts and thinking... "actually, you don't know anything about 'terfs', do you? you probably don't even have a clear definition of one". so as scary as they can sometimes be I take comfort in the fact that 95% of the time these posts are not only being made by a) 14 year olds who could never actually do anything and b) people mindlessly parroting the Accepted Tumblr Viewpoint™. sorry if i couldn't be of more help in that respect, bc i don't like them either 😿pls message me again if you have any more questions! thank you! 💖

[decoding1432]

The Art Behind Manipulating & Guarding a Fandom (p. II)

Here it’s the second part guys, take time to analyse it...

NOTE: *Most of the posts I direct you to, are SHORT & in my opinion not too dense to read. In fact, the great majority are Q&As. I’ll identified every post with a letter, it means that throughout the various parts you’ll see them repeated, so no need to read one twice*

If you missed or want to re-read the first part here it is: The Art Behind Manipulating & Guarding a Fandom (p. I) – decoding1432.

Now, the astroturfers & how to identify them.

I would say that identifying some astroturfers with exactitude is very hard to do, I mean we are talking about professionals. Not even the directioners who have spent years dealing with them are able to fully assure when they are being invaded by some. Nevertheless they have learned to recognise them & some types are obvious.

*link A*

Basing it on an article by The Consumerist, astroturfers are primarily known for two things:

Vague or anonymous identities. The identities of the people, or     group of people, are very minimal or completely anonymous. Their profiles     would either be generic, unorganised or have few or no posts. If you’re     tech savvy and use tools such as Statcounter, you might notice that they     frequent certain pages that cater to certain topics and/or suspicious     recurring IP addresses.

A specific discussion path is  followed/repeatedly brought up. Since one of the main goals of astroturfing is to support one side and discredit another, most  astroturfers usually follow a certain discussion path,

ie. Opening -> Segue -> Main Topic Being Pushed

I’ll be using their examples to show you.  I’m sure Camren blogs will be like: “relatable”. A lot of shipping involved. Try to exchange “Larry” for “Camren” & “Ziam” for another ship– Laucy, Norminah, Tyren, whatever you want– I promise it won’t become tedious (I’ll keep it the OG way, to avoid confusions). Here I present you what could be the various types of astroturfers (a.k.a. sneaky little bitches):

Example 1: *link E*

“You astroturfing trotters with your generic anti messages are such a fail. If you really read this blog you would also know I don’t “ship”. Never have. I support two couples I believe have been harshly closeted. Why would that upset anyone? Even if you disagree, I’m all about the love baby. I’m all about consenting adults being able to love each other openly, happily and free from hate and discrimination. What kind of a monster takes issue with that? You can ponder that while you lick your wounds and trot to the next blog to spread your venom. You’re a real credit to humanity making excellent use of your time”

As I see it, our first specimen is the aggressive type. During my research, I found several bloggers talking about this kind of astroturfer. Apparently, it’s a very common one & usually driven by hostility but SOMETIMES WITHOUT BEING RUDE. Pay attention to the description below:

*link F*

“I follow a bunch of Ziam blogs, and I heard talk about aggressive Ziam astroturfing of two kinds: (1) asking for masterposts and analyses, and (2) asking very specific factual questions. I talked with that-regular-chick about it, and she described it like this:

“…today we chatted and realized we all got very specific asks from the same “dummy” tumblr account: REDACTED. This account hit at least four of us in the past day. Each time they asked for our analysis and masterposts. Friday, I was blitzed with anon asks about Ziam, Zerrie and Sophiam. Initially, I was answering. But as I progressed through my Inbox, I noticed a pattern: careful not to offend so they throw some false praise in, a few “xx” or sometimes “thank you”. Always very specific about what they want know. Several claimed they were new to the fandom. I got so many, I felt they were really being aggressive and definitely had an agenda.”

Personally I tend to receive these type of anons on a daily basis. I would consider it’s the hardest one to recognise since I understand there are fans out there who tend to be very gentle when asking & simply with the purpose to learn & no one wants to be disrespectful toward any anon when answering, right? Nonetheless this is an advantage they take to camouflage. Note also how that-regular-chick said, ironically enough, the aggressive astroturfer is careful not to offend. Nonetheless I’m also aware that at times there are pretty intense anons which break that pattern of softness & jump straight ahead into using a harsh approach like the one shown in the first pic. Just look at the way that-regular-chick clarified she’s a victim as well despite not being about shipping. I know most Camren blogs get the infamous “why do you assume someone else’s sexuality when it’s none of your business… SO ANNOYING OMG” anon. Well now you know it’s an anti message mainly seeking for you to stop. Since now it’s all about killing Camren no wonder why we’ve seen many of these lately.

Example 2: *link G*

 “Both my suspected astroturfers have responded, and their messages are overlapping under the two different URLs in question. And neither likes to use capitalization, coincidentally enough. And if you can’t send asks under your sideblog, why not just change the settings? Also, why is your main blog hella inactive? And why do you think you need a blog to lurk on tumblr? So many questions…”

Our next kind, is the non-anon type. These shameless astroturfers couldn’t bother less in going unnoticed.

Not all of these are about not using capitalization, this ultimate aspect is a pattern the blogger found in that particular case. Here are a few elements you could lean on to identify them:

*link H* (THIS LINK IT’S NECESSARY TO BE OPENED .IT SPEAKS ABOUT FANDOMS MONITORING IN GENERAL. Apparently t’s explained by an insider the directioners had contact with but I’ll address this with more detail almost by the end. If you want to read it now, by all means go ahead.)

“The best way that I’ve seen to get a handle on tumblr is to set up what basically amount to burner accounts. You create a tumblr account with an unassuming username and do nothing to the actual account. You leave the layout at default, don’t change the icon, don’t make posts, and don’t reblog or favourite anything. But you use the account to follow the blogs that control the conversation in whatever fandom you’re trying to monitor.”

Funnily enough, I was followed by a burner account (or maybe more but I did spot one) in the past 24 hours, LOL:

Example 3: *link I*

“People also ask questions they could easily google, like what's Zayn’s Instagram? I mean, you can google that faster than I can answer you. LOL”

Our third type, is the lazy astroturfer. I believe this one is pretty self-explanatory. The description provided is more than sufficient. Characterised by a lethargic tone & vibe.

Another example I could add is: “What is Dinah’s full name?” It’s the first thing I came up with since it’s something you can type in the google searcher… Besides a fan knows DJ’s full name it by heart, right? Lol

You might be wondering, why would they send these type of generic questions, why do they obtain with a generic answer. Well they come with three different objectives, it depends: Either gathering information or steering the conversation or merely keeping an eye on the blog (as in fan engagement).

Example 4: *link J*

I would classify this astroturfer as the… the Inception type, maybe? Excuse me, I’m getting Inception teas here (fun fact: Inception is my favourite film lol). As I understand an idea is put on a target (blog) by this specialised team (astroturfers) just like in the movie. Here I leave you a scene of the film to illustrate it better, min 1:05- 1:32 :

Saito (Ken Watanabe): If you can steal an idea from someone’s mind why can’t you plant one there instead?

Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): Here’s me planning an idea in your head, I say to you, don’t think about elephants, what do you think about?

Saito: Elephants

Arthur: Right but it’s not your idea, because you know I gave it to you. The subject’s mind can always trace the genesis of the idea. True inspiration is impossible to fake--

Cobb (Leo DiCaprio): *interrupting Arthur* It’s not true.

What we can appreciate in the scene is how DiCaprio contradicts Levitt’s statement of how the subject can’t remember the origin the thought seeded.  As I understand this example of astroturfing works like this. The target will not be able to remember where the original question came from since it’s supposed to be passed to others. If I put into perspective this is the way I imagine the original OT4s & Cnizers were created. A constant brainwash pulled by the same negative comments, to an extent that they can’t tell who were the first accounts that influenced them. “The virus got to them & they’re spreading it”.

Example 5: *link K*

Blind astroturfing. How many times we’ve seen repeated questions on another blog? Or from one day to another? Or when we just answer the same thing a couple of asks ago?

Example 6: (if I were you I wouldn’t bother in opening this link since the rest is about their timeline & I didn’t understand what they were talking about but if anyone is curious enough *link L* )

“astroturfing anons will usually give us a heads up that something is coming down the pipe too (that happened with haige 2.0 - people got anons about her for weeks and then she popped up again in her weird mainly one sided stunt with harry). it happened again with babygate but none of us wanted to believe it.”

This is a very weird but not entirely foreign type. If I can call it the “physic” astroturfer. Raise your hand if you have received the “next month (x ) will do (x) thing… bla, bla, bla” sort of message in your inbox more than once? Yep. I see several hands raised in the back lol. It doesn’t mean all it’s necessarily fake, like we saw with the 1D blogger above. BUT it doesn’t mean it’s ALL true either. Watch out for that.

Example 7: *link M* (IMPORTANT TO READ)

“It’s becoming harder for fans to hold onto the illusion that the internet is a secret club and that the management team of a multi-million dollar boyband that built on its success on social media wouldn’t be interested in what fans say on social media.

So it’s awfully funny that there are now anons popping up heavily dropping implications that if we talk openly about what we see on the internet, that management will punish the boys and it’ll all be ~our fault~ and so we need to shut up if we truly love the boys....

Guilt trips–everything is your fault and your responsibility, including the actions of the management and record companies with clear motive and power for their actions–are just another form of attempts at control and manipulation. 'Don’t you care about the boys? You don’t want to hurt them, so if you care about them you will protect them and shut up and say nothing’. That is emotional blackmail. Bullshit.”

When I read this the first time, I was not surprised that they would reach this level. In all seriousness, I had already thought about this. What if one day an anon pops into my inbox & claims the girls will get in trouble due to my “big mouth”? Let me tell you something *starts getting heated* if that happens in the nearest future, I’m going to send them right straight to hell. THAT IS UTTER BULLSHIT. I’m not allowing anyone to use my girls in order to bribe the fuck out of me & my blog. If anything it just proves the amount of manipulation they are willing to carry on in order to save & cover up their asses because they’re threatened. & I don’t want to have to say this ever again… Listen carefully, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO THE GIRLS BECAUSE OF US. So if anyone receives or has already gotten this type of anon, IGNORE THEM, BLOCK & MOVE ON.

Just look at the date that post was written: 2014… 3 years later & the directioners are still there. Hell, stronger than ever. We are NOT GOING TO TOLERATE THAT EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL ON OUR TERRITORY. Their biggest weakness is seeing us fighting harder against them, let’s not give them the power & satisfaction of witnessing us falling one by one like dominoes.

Example 8: *link N*

This one seems slightly tricky to me. I don’t know if can be considered a “normal” example or standard in this list since it’s reversed-astroturfing but I’m taking the time to mention it, it’s important.

“...astroturfers infiltrate with the ultimate end goal of dumping stuff on us, and monitoring how we’d respond to it, whereas (real) shady anons infiltrate with the intention to /warn/ us of stuff they know we’d respond negatively to…

the fake ones are always so ominous, and “be ready” or whatever but the real ones are just straight to the point and cautious-sounding and it’s crazy because many things we’ve been warned about are literally things we probably shouldn’t even /know/, much less prepare for...”

I’m still trying to process this last one tbh. I interpret it as the astroturfers (the fake ones) test our reactions but we can tell it’s them because we get this feeling that something is wrong. On the other hand, the real shady anons are to direct with the way they approach, it’s like if they were slapping us in the face but without harming us because they know how are we going to respond. Is it clear? Cause I have to admit, I even confused myself…

Example 9: *link O* (& last example lol)

I’m not sure if we could classify the following as part of astroturfing exactly. I would consider so because it’s so similar & incredibly interesting the way these work that I had to include it:

“Plant blogs”. What is a plant blog? This is the name directioners have christened with those blogs that are sent by the team in order to plant seeds (info) with the purpose of spreading it & ultimately achieving their goal which could be to distract, separate or influence the fandom.

“it means that we believe her blog was ‘planted’ by someone behind the scenes working for/with the boys rather than being an organic blog run by a real fan.”

Not all plant blogs are poisonous since not all the people behind them have bad intentions. I know it’s hard to believe this latter but from what I was seeing the 1D fam had once a blog on their side educating them & never disrespecting or influencing them to hate on any of their boys:

*link P*

“yes a ‘plant’ blog in the way that we’re using the term would be someone who joins the fandom with a deliberate agenda.

in our case, the agenda was beneficial to us as we learned a lot (especially about image manipulation in the press and how to limit the effect of astroturfers on us/the fandom conversation).

there are also hypothetically negative plants whose main role and goal would be to gaslight the fandom from within and make us doubt ourselves/our own observations.”

So...

This were some examples that I consider we have already encountered in the past. I believe the list can continue to go on & on but we’re beginning to study this new concept. I guess with time the experience will shape the “astroturfy” messages adequately enough so we can recognise them with more ease.

Don’t worry, on Part 4 I will give you recommendations I found on how to deal with them...

DON’T BE NAIVE KIDS.