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space-city-traffic · 3 years ago

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yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!

#firefly #Serenity #in which i choke out joss whedon with my bare hands and rescue his characters and give them better homes #ollies fix it series #malcolm reynolds #ollies personal good firefly canon

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i-write-newsies · 3 years ago

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A/N:

(Y/N) - Your Name

(L/N) - Last Name

(N/N) - Nickname

(H/C) - Hair Color

(D/N) - DEEZ NUTS!! /j Deadname

(E/C) - Eye Color

(H/L) - Hair Length

(Y/A) - Your Age

Ships Included:

- Jack x Davey

- Spot x Race

- Finch x Smalls (Platonic)

- Albert x Elmer

-Katherine x Sarah

- Spot x Reader (Brotherly Platonic)

- Race x Reader (Brotherly Platonic)

Summary:

You have always dreamed of living in the world of your favorite characters, to escape from whatever rotten life you have and make friends with the people you love. One day, fate decides to give you a chance. But when you're not prepared to be rushed into that universe, it becomes a roller coaster of balancing good and bad emotions and events.

Good luck, Reader!

!!TW!!

~ SELF HARM

~ TRANSPHOBIA

~ MAJOR INJURY

~ ABUSE

~ ARGUING

(Y/N) POV:

I'm (Y/N) (L/N). I'm (Y/A) with (E/C) eyes and (H/L) (H/C) hair. At least it used to be (H/L). I cut it all off today. I can tell my mom just found out because of the loud cursing and stomping. "GODDAMMIT, (D/N)!!" she yells. What scares me the most about this situation is the fact that I'm kinda used to this. I hear her coming up the stairs to my room and rush to the door and lock it. As expected, the door handle starts rattling violently, "(D/N) YOU LET ME IN RIGHT NOW, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SH!T!" She starts banging on the door, stressing the lock.

I sigh. Today was one of the worse days. I slip on my noise-canceling headphones and press play on my musicals playlist, consisting of:

- Waving Through A Window

- On My Own

- A Little Fall Of Rain

- Angel of Music

and of course...

The entire Newsies soundtrack.

By the time I get to 'Seize the Day', it's twilight outside. I lift one of my headphones to check if my mom is gone. I hear nothing. I look out the window and don't see her car. Perfect.

Unplugging my headphones and letting the music play, I walk over to my dresser, open it up, and reach deep in the back. Aha!

I pull out some bandages (A/N: DO NOT ACTUALLY BIND LIKE THIS OK BYE). I take off my shirt and try not to look in my mirror, fearing what sort of feminine body I may see. I start wrapping my chest to the point that it gets a little hard to breathe. This kinda hurts, but my dysphoria is stronger than my need for comfort and, let's be honest, safety.

Slipping my shirt back on, I look into the mirror and smile, satisfied with my flat chest and somewhat choppy short, (H/C) hair. I jump onto my bed and plug my headphones back into my phone which is now playing Santa Fe. Santa Fe honestly makes me think. I'm only, what, (Y/A)? And I still go through all this BS. I need out. Somewhere my mom can't tell me I'm female. Somewhere like...Newsies. I mean, Race is canonically trans, right? Not to mention all of them are definitely fruity. They'd accept me. The fresh, bandaged cuts on my arms are the only things keeping me in reality right now

As the song ends, I realize that I've been crying. God, why am I stuck in this wretched place? The question as well as thoughts of Newsies reverberates in my skull, a sort of white noise until I fall into a much-needed sleep.

"Aye, kid! Watcha doin sleepin on the street?"

"Especially in a place this..."

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Jack POV:

I yawn, rubbing sleep from my eyes as the circulation bell drones on an' on. I let my eyes adjust to the view of the sunrise from my penthouse in the sky.

As I try to get up to get ready, a pair of arms drag me back down. "Jackieeee" a half-awake Davey groans, "come back down, it's freezing up here." "Dave, we gotta get to work. The boys can always count on me being at the gates early, so if you don't get up, I'm leaving you behind." This seems to wake him up a little more, "Alright, alright fine." he shivers as he gets up. I throw him his top shirt and vest and he desperately claws them on to gain warmth. Carefully, we climb down the ladder.

"What'd I tell ya, Dave? Even in the middle of summer, the night's always freezing." Davey rolls his eyes and does a little shiver "I know, Jackie, now c'mere and warm me up" I grin and move in closer, holding his hand, as we start walking to the gates. "Still not warm enough!" Davey said in a singsong-ish voice. I sigh and feign annoyance, leaning in to give a short but sweet peck on the lips. I think he's satisfied now. We're not usually this lovey-dovey, but I think we're both touch starved and subtly begging for a hug.

Davey, being the amazing boyfriend he is, stops by Jacobis to get us some breakfast. "Dave, you really don't hafta-" "I insist, Jack. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," he says in an almost snobbish voice. I give him a small smile. That's my smartass Dave.

As we get to the gates, I notice a small figure leaned up against it. By now, the sun has come up some more over Manhattan 'n Dave 'n I don't have to walk as close to warm ourselves up. The figure seems to be sleeping, a newsies cap over their eyes. I think it's a kid. Maybe a new newsie looking for work?

I crouch down in front of him lift his hat, and start tapping his shoulder, "Aye, kid! Watcha doin sleepin on the street?" "Especially in a place this..." Davey notes. The kid seems to wake with a start. He rubs his eyes, and I chuckle a little "Whatsa matter? Ya look like youse seen a ghost." He doesn't seem to find this funny and repeatedly switches from looking at me then Davey with some confusion and shock in his eyes.

"I um-" he stutters over his words, "Aye, aye, kid, calm down, you ain't in trouble or nuttin." He takes a few deep breaths. "Okay... I'm (Y/N). I'm just freaking out because This isn't where I fell asleep, and- and I just- feel like I know you..." "Well, (Y/N) it sounds like you're one of da Newsies now," I say with a grin, "Now, we gots ta give you a nickname, we rarely eva call someone by their real name, 'cept Dave 'n Albert of course," The kid stays silent, clearly still shocked from waking up in a foreign place. "I feel like I know you.." he says, barely discernible. "Maybe ya do, maybe ya don't, Dave here's the only one good with faces." The kid looks up at Davey, who seems deep in thought, "(N/N)" he exclaims, "Ah, sorry, what I meant was your nickname should be (N/N)!" "I like it! But why (N/N) exactly?" I question, "Well, *insert reason why here*" "Well ain't you a clever boy, Dave!" I say, ruffling his hair. Davey shies away, "Jack! Now I have to fix my hair!" he complains, "Sorry, sorry." Davey then leaves to fix his hair in front of a shop window nearby, leaving me and (N/N) alone.

(N/N) seems to want to say something, but as soon as he opens his mouth, he shuts it just as quickly. I try to fill the awkward silence, "So, what's wit' da bandages, kiddo?" He freezes, "Nothing, just a ploy to get people to buy more papes..." he trails off. I have a feelin' he's not tellin' the truth, but I go along with it anyway, "Ha! What an idea, I wonder how I neva thought a' that before." he smiles, seeming satisfied with the praise. Davey returns from the shop window, "Alright! Ready to start the day?" (N/N) nods, and so do I.

Newsies start gathering, some glancing at (N/N) and some anxiously peering through the gates. I look at the headline for today: New Newsie Price! "Aye, Dave, you seein' this shit?" "Language- and yeah... what in the world was runnin' through Pulitzer's head when he thought of this??" I look at (N/N), whose mouth is a thin, pale line but whose (E/C) eyes are glinting with determination. "Heh, kid, what's that look for?" He looks at me, a little startled, but quickly regains that same tough expression, "I have a feeling that this ain't some silly little joke. And I'm worried 'bout the kids that may get hurt in the crossfire." I laugh, "Youse just bein dramatic! Surely, they wouldn't be as dumb as to underpay their own employees." I walk over to Weasel and slap down a penny "100 papes please!" "That's gonna be dime, Kelly."

My heart almost stops, and it takes all my strength not to break down in front of the boys. I fake a laugh, "Surely you're joking." "100 papes costs a dime, take a look at the headline." I hit the money box out of anger, "Then we'll just take our business to Brooklyn." Someone pipes up, "The same thing's happenin' there." "Then we'll go to Rushing!" Specs jogs over, seemingly out of breath, "I'll save ya the walk; it's the same everywhere."

Fuck.

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Y/N POV:

A sharp pain in my chest temporarily distracts me from the situation at hand. Ah. I almost forgot. I still have to bind. This sucks. I feel a pair of eyes on me and turn just in time to see Racetrack Higgins avert his eyes. I give him a confused look and turn back to Jack singing "The World Will Know" I forget all about his weird staring and get back into the determined beat from before.

Soon, the newsies and I make our way to Jacobis for some...water I guess? I do happen to have some extra money in my pocket so I think I can treat all the boys to some seltzer. I sit down on a hard wooden chair in a slouch. The room is buzzing with excited talk of the strike. I give a small, sad smile. These boys have no idea what they're getting themselves into. Crutchie sits next to me serving a wide smile just as Jacobi enters with a tray full of waters, "And here's one for you, and for you, and for you- who's the big spender that ordered everyone seltzer?" shyly, I raise my hand, "That's me, sir." "You know these cost a quarter each, right?" I pull out a handful of quarters with a cheeky smile "and I got more where that came from." The boys go wild, "Where did ya get all that money, kid??" Davey, being the concerned mom, asks "Please tell me you didn't steal that." I shake my head, "I used to live comfortably, but my mom kicked me out for...reasons." my grin falters for a second, but no one seems to notice.

"Well!" Jack stands on a table, "Here's to the strike! And, of course, (N/N)" He gestures towards me with a wink as everyone cheers. As Katherine enters, I start to zone out and stare at a speck of dust on the ground. After all, I know the plot all too well. I perk up, though, as soon as Jack asks who's goin' to Brooklyn. My hand shoots up, "I nominate me and Race!" I exclaim. I look over at Race, who's staring at me, blushing and jaw dropped a little. I grin at him and look back at Jack, who's a little shocked. "A-alright! Me and Dave'll take the Bronx, I guess."

*Timeskip to after the restaurant scene*

I walk down the Manhatten alleys blindly, no clue where I'm going, when I hear someone come up behind me. "Hey, (N/N)! It's me, Race." I smile weakly, "Oh, hey." "I always sell my papes at Sheepshead in Brooklyn, so I know where to go."

It's almost completely silent except for the clicking of our shoes on the paved roads. "So... how'd ya get here as a Newsie, (N/N)?" "Well, Jack 'n Davey found me sleepin' on the street just this mornin'" He laughs, "Wow! So you got used to the Newsie life real quick!" "Yeah, I did.." I let out a small chuckle as well. Race pulls out a cigar and clamps it between his lips and goes to light it but hesitates. "Uh- Wanna cigar?" "Wow, Racetrack Higgins giving me one of his own cigars? I'm flattered!" I joke, "But, yeah, I need smoke." He digs into his pocket and hands me another cigar, "You eva' smoked before?" he stares at me as I put the cigar in between my lips. I grin sheepishly, "No." "Okay, maybe we should stop for a second. Coughing while walking ain't the most fun thing in the woild."

We lean up against a wall as Race lights first his, then my cigar. I inhale and immediately spiral into a coughing fit. Race smacks my back, "You good, (N/N)? I ain't neva' seen a fella cough that hard on the first puff." I roll my tear-filled eyes and continue coughing.

Once my coughing fit subsides, I feel a wave of relaxation. "God I should do this more often." I groan, Race grins, "Yeah, once you get past the whole blowin'-your-brains-out part of smokin', it's real nice. Anyway, shall we continue?" he gestures to the streets ahead. I nod my head and take another puff, "Yeah, it's gettin' kinda late and we do NOT wanna wake up the Spot Conlon." Race nods in agreement and we hurry along. Even though I know Spot is kind of a softie, that doesn't stop me from being intimidated by his prowess.

We reach the Brooklyn lodging just as Race's cigar burned out. Race takes a deep breath and gives three solid knocks on the door. A kid younger than me answers the door, "State ya business" "I'm here to let Conlon know about some very important news." The kid squints his eyes but responds "I'll ask him if he's willing to meet with anyone right now. Who should I tell him is askin'?" "Race. Higgins." He says somewhat awkwardly.

The kid closes the door. Race and I stand quietly waiting for the OK to see Spot. Suddenly the door swings open to reveal Spot. "Ra-" he notices me and coughs, "I mean- Higgins, would you like to step in to discuss the important news?" I almost laugh at the way he went from totally in love to distinguished gentleman. I shoo them away, holding in laughter, "don't worry, I'll wait out here and give you lovebirds some space." (A/N: or should I say sprace) I see them both go tomato red.

I sigh as they head inside. I take a drag from the cigar and start thinking. How did I end up in the newsies universe and act this calm about it? This feels so surreal. But I want to stay here forever. Far away from my sh!tty mom and all my responsibilities.

Lost in my own head, I barely notice as Racetrack storms out of the lodging, clearly pissed. "C'mon (N/N), we're leaving." he grabs my hand and angrily powerwalks to the next street over. Once we're there, he lets go of my hand and sighs harshly, walking slow. "I assume it didn't go well?" I ask, already knowing the answer. "Not. Well." "Wanna talk about it?" he shakes his head and starts walking "No, thanks. I think we's better get to bed before Jack gets worried." he stops. "Do you have a place to sleep?" I look down, "Not really..." "Well!" he grabs my hand again with a big grin, "Looks like youse bunkin' wit' me." I start to protest, but realize it'd get me nowhere with this stubborn SOB, so I let myself get dragged along. Oh, well. I might as well get rest for the strike tomorrow, goodness knows I need it.

As I settle down into the rough sheets, the gentle snoring rocks me to sleep with thoughts of the strike. One thought flashes through my mind before I fall asleep; God help us all.

I wake up to someone poking my face. My eyes flutter open and I almost fall off the bunk at the sight of Race's face right in front of mine. "JESUS CHRIST, RACE, YOU SCARED THE SH!T OUTTA ME!" He backs off, putting his hands up in surrender, "Sorry, sorry, it's just that Jack said you had to be up and out in 10 minutes so we can have an organized strike or whateva'" Race rolls his eyes, "I'm startin' ta think that Davey's rubbin' off on 'im a lil' too much."

I groan, tempted to slide back under the covers, but get up anyway. I slept with my clothes on so I don't have to do anything about that. As I look into an old, rusted mirror and comb my fingers through my now tangled hair, I feel another sharp pain in my chest, accompanied by a dull throbbing. I really should have taken off the bandages while I slept, but now it's too late. I take one last look in the mirror and, ignoring my eyebags, quickly head out the door to join the others. As I get to the gate, everyone's waiting with anticipation, faces grim but hopeful.

Everything happens in a blur. One moment we're striking, and the next we're beaten into a pulp. I manage to soak a Delancey in the eye when suddenly a familiar sharp pain fills my chest and wince, faltering. Morris takes this as an opportunity to knee me in the stomach, forcing me to the ground, where their take turns kicking my chest and body with those damn steel-toed boots of theirs until my clothes are torn and the cuts on my arms reopen. Suddenly, there's a small crack as my body swells up with pain and the taste of metal enters my mouth. I let out a blood-curdling scream as the pain registers in my brain. In my blurred vision, I see the Delancey's walk away, ready to torture their next victim; Crutchie.

I try to get up and reach out, try to scream at them not to hurt him, but all I can do is weakly move my hand in their direction and spit out blood. Suddenly, a small but rough hand reaches out and drags me into an alley. "Dammit, (N/N) what were you thinking?! Fighting in a gawddamn binder, and a makeshift one, no less!" "R-..Race..?" "Not now, (N/N) I have ta get youse to safety foist." I watch as he chews on his nails in thought, "Dammit! The only way back to tha lodge is through the Delancey's again!" He sighs. "Brooklyn it is..." He gingerly picks me up and carries me as fast as possible to Spot's turf.

Setting my feet on the ground and propping me up against him, he bangs on the door. "Spot!" Please! This is serious, I need your help!" I can hear the tears in his voice. Spot flings open the door, obviously very concerned. He's confused for a second, then looks at me and his eyes go wide. "GET THE MED KIT AND A COT OPEN, WESE GOT SOMETHING HORRIBLE THAT'S HAPPENED" he yells behind him. Race, now more calmed down, takes me in his arms again, but seems to refuse to look at Spot, who looks away as well, but more in shame.

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Race POV:

I watch as some of the Brooklyn newsies take (N/N) and lay him on a cot, anger surging through my veins. I take a deep breath "I'll take care of him. You guys don't have to worry about it." As they leave the room, I look down at (N/N) and can't help but feel guilty. Like this is my fault. I only got away with a black eye, but he got all this?

I regain my composure and start by taking (N/N) shirt off. I can already see the bruises starting to form and cringe. I take off his binding bandages and see his chest expand immediately. Poor kid. He must have been hurting in more way that just one. I take the gauze from the wooden box and gently wrap his torso with it. Maneuvering around his arms, I notice something. The bandages on him arms. When he was wearing them before, Jack said it was a marketing ploy, but now I see red bleeding through the white gauze.

I unwrap (N/N)'s arms and gasp. Hundreds of tiny, but deep cuts litter his forearms and wrists. F#ck. He was hurting so much more than I could have ever known. I wrap them with fresh gauze and treat the rest of his wounds, stepping back to admire my handiwork. That's when I start to cry. Full-on tears falling, face in hands crocodile tears. I turn my head with a start to see Spot, standing over me with a hand on my shoulder, looking apologetic "I'm so sorry..." Suddenly this sadness turns to rage. I grab him by the shirt collar and drag him outside to an empty alleyway. "SORRY?? SORRY, MY 4SS! (N/N) AND SO MANY OTHER 'HATTEN NEWSIES ALMOST DIED OUT THERE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN UNTIL YOU KNEW WE WOULDN'T "CAVE" WELL, WE DIDN'T CAVE, AND LOOK WHAT F#CKING HAPPENED! AND DONT YOU SAY SORRY TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO FORGIVE YOU JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, THAT'S FOR CROW TO DECIDE." Spot seemed silent at first, but now I could see his anger building up; "WADDAYA THINK WOULD O' HAPPENED TO MY BOYS, HUH?? I WANTED TO WAIT TO SEE IF WE WOULD BE THE ONLY ONES FIGHTIN IN THIS BATTLE AGAINST PULITZER."

I open my mouth then close it. He has a fair point, but doesn't he trust me and the udda newsies not to bail in their hour of need? I sigh, pinching my nose. "I'm sorry Spot, I just-... I just wish you trusted me a bit more..." I look up at him to see tears in his eyes. "OH, SPOT HONEY, ITS OKAY, I'M NOT MAD, DON'T CRY, DON'T CRY" I shush him, pulling his head into my chest, which isn't tough considering his height.

As he lets go, the adrenaline rush from today dies down. God, I'm so tired. My knees nearly buckle and Spot notices, "Aye, aye! Tony, you doin' okay?" I nod at him, but the bags under my eyes are making them droop, "Race, honey, you need to get some sleep, okay?" I shake my head but soon fall into Spot's arms as my legs give way. "Fine..." I mumble. I can feel him grinning, "Good, we gots an extra bed for youse to sleep in." I sigh, grateful. I can feel Spot picking me up, the rhythm of his boots tapping along the ground, a pause and shift as he opens the lodging door and kicks it closed behind him as I fall asleep.

I wake up in a cold sweat. (N/N). I need to see (N/N). I need to check if he's okay. I climb out of the bed Spot laid me in and let my eyes adjust to the dark before maneuvering around all the other sleeping kids. I make my way as quietly as possible to where (N/N) is resting. I crouch down and take his hand in mine. How could I let this happen? And how did I not notice his suffering? I press the back of his hand to my forehead, closing my eyes. My body is so tired right now, but my mind is too tortured with guilt to let me sleep.

By the time my thoughts finally leave me alone, the sun is rising in the sky. I'm finally drifting when- "Race?" I turn my head to the voice, "Oh, jesus, you look horrible!" Spot exclaims, "did you even get any sleep last night?" I shrug, to be fair, I lost count of the hours. Spot sighs, "Race...go sleep. At least for a few more hours. I can watch (N/N) if that makes you happy," I nod, rubbing my eyes. I stumble back to my bed amongst all the Brooklyn newsies and fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.

My mind dreams of talkin' cigars and bloody bandages. I see Crow propped up against the wall, smokin' a cigar. "(N/N)! (N/N)! Oh my god, I'm so happy that you're okay!" (N/N) doesn't answer, I slowly starts walking towards him, "(N/N)...?" he starts laughing. Softly at first then roaring, and the laughing turns into a heavy coughing fit. As (N/N) coughs, red smoke pours out of his lungs and clouds my vision. I swipe at the air, trying to brush away the fog, "(N/N)?? (N/N), where did you go?!" suddenly, the smoke clears and I see (N/N) bruised, damaged, bleeding body at my feet, I gasp and step back. (N/N) slowly turns to face me, and in a painful, teary, almost sickly whisper asks, "Why did you let this happen?" Tears start spilling down my face, "I- I didn't me-" "You did this to me Race. Race. Race. Race! Race! RACE! RACE!--

Spot POV:

--RACE WAKE UP!" He wakes up with a gasp. He looks around wildly, tears dripping from his chin. I've never seen him like this. He must care for him like a brudda. To be honest, I'm worried as well, not only about (N/N) but now that we know 'Hatten isn't gonna back down and we join the fight, what's gonna happen to the newsies in general? Kids could get hoit. Bad.

"Spot?" Race starts sobbing, clinging to my shirt fabric, "Please...tell me it'll be okay..." I can't. Race, I don't know if it will. I almost start sobbing on the Spot ( A/N: heh...), but I hold my composure and smile at him, "It'll be okay, Tony...we're all gonna be fine" He seems to believe this, at least a little bit. "Now, don't you gotta meet up wit' da udda newsies?" He retracts his head from my chest, eyes wide. In a nasal voice, he goes "AW SHOOT, I 'MOST FORGOT" I watch him with a small smile as he rushes to get dressed like the goof he is. God, I love 'im.

Race POV:

Silence. I got there too early. Fuck. I can't just be alone with my thoughts, but at least I have some extra money to... I don't know? I walk up to the bar, where the owner of Jacobi's is cleaning out glasses. I sigh and sit down, "Got anything to help forget? At least for a little while...?"

"Ain't you a little too young for that, kid?" I give him a look and push my money over the counter to him. He quietly collects it, "So what can I get ya?" I'm silent for a bit "Fireball." I say with some demand in my voice. He disappears behind the counter and comes back with some shot glasses and a Fireball bottle, pouring it out into the glasses as I watch. I notice as he sighs, "Feel betta, kid." Can't promise that.

I pick up a shot glass, watching as the orange liquid spins around in it. I take in a breath of spicy cinnamon before letting the liquid slip down my throat, leaving a trail of a burning sensation. Soon, one turns into another, and another, and another and before I could comprehend it, the room starts to spin and blur. Eventually, the room fills with newsies, mumblin' 'bout how crappy the strike went. I do my very best to fit in and not act drunk, but the time zooms by and I find myself singin' 'bout bein' the king o' new york. At some point in the blurry memory, Katherine suggests getting drunk and I throw my hands up and cheer. More free Fireball! But then she clarifies that it was a metaphor, to which I am very disappointed.

The rest whizzes past me and soon I'm stumblin' my way to Brooklyn. I knock heavily on the lodging door, then lean on it. Unexpectedly, the door opens and I'm left to fall flat on my face at the feet of my boyfriend, Spot Conlon. "Race! Darlin', you okay? Youse fell flat on ya face!" He extends a hand that I receive and pulls me up. I giggle, "Ahhhh, my Spotty! Always carin' 'bout uddas. Pshht! Yeah, I'm fiiiine." I flop my hand down to wave off his concern. He wrinkles his nose, "You reek of cinnamon....and alcohol." He widens his eyes and I let out anudda giggle, "Race! Tell me you didn't jus' get drunk!" he whines, I grin, "Okey, 'you didn't jus' get drunk'" I imitate him in a deep voice and he sighs, "Jesus Christ, Racer.." he grabs my hand pulls me inside, eventually laying me on a bed, face red with a giggling fit. "Goodnight, my liege," I giggle some more, "and you my Prince," he gives a small smile before covering me with a blanket. I fall asleep before it's up over my shoulders.

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I wake up with my head feeling like it's going to explode.

Fuck Life.

I groan and sit up. "Mornin' Sleepin' Beauty" Spot smirks and hands me a cup of water, "Shut the fuck up" I whine and grab the glass, "Ooh feelin' feisty today, huh?" I shoot him a look that could rot a squash with one gaze. He holds up his hands in defense, "Alright, alright, my bad," He shrugs. I sigh and take a sip of water, which turns into me chugging the whole thing. "You betta get ova this hangover fast, hon" I groan, not ready to do anything at all today, "We gots the meetin' wit' Jack."

End my life.

"No, I don't think I will," "fuuuuck did I say that out loud?" I let out a small wail, and Spot chuckles a little, though you can tell there's somethin' on his mind still, "Yeah, ya did sweetheart." I grumble something incomprehensible and look down, red. He smiles, "Get dressed and drink as much water as possible, okay? We can't have you hungover for the big meeting, right?" I nod...which causes my head to hurt. Ow.

I sigh and decide to take my sweet time getting dressed. This sucks. "Spotty!" I call, then cringe after a new wave of pain hits, he pokes his head through the door "Yeah?". "I don't have the energy to deal wit' all dese gawddamn bandages. Help me?" He blushes a bit but agrees to help me bind. All I focus on is not hurting my head again. Spot ties the bandages and stands back to admire his handiwork but quickly notices my cringin'. "Do you want somethin' cold?" he asks gently, I nod as gingerly as possible.

*Timeskip to after the newsies meet n greet bcuz I'm power-finishing this at 12am and my mental health is steadily declining*

My hand shakes as I bring a fresh, unlit cigar to my lips.

Jack. That sellout, that traitor.

A sharp pain knocks me out of my angry thoughts. Ah. I burned myself.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Racer.." says a gentle voice, "You okay? that's your 3rd cigar in the past 2 hours or so." I look up to see Finch leaning over me as I sit on the ground, a concerned look on his face, "You're gonna run out all too soon" I give a bitter laugh, "Yeah, I guess I will." Finch can see that there's not much he can do to help me. He gives a weak smile and turns to walk away.

I see Davey run off somewhere. I wonder where they're going? I sigh and turn my head back down to the ground. Who cares? Without a leader, the strike'll just fall apart and Pulitzer'll win. Who was I kidding when I bragged abt being da "King o' New York"? I'm just some nobody kid without a nickel to my name. The bigger guys always win, so what's with me tryin'?

Jack POV:

I can't let any more kids get in this much danger. I visited (N/N) today. I found out about all his... injuries, as well as whatever he was born as. He's been through so much before all this, he doesn't deserve it.

It's my fault for being so ignorant. For not noticing anything was goin' on. My fault for inciting this stupid strike. For getting all these kids hoit. and Crutchie...poor Crutchie, locked up in that godawful place. I know he ain't helpless, 'e's a cheeky little bastard, I'll give him that, but the Refuge breaks down even the biggest of smiles and smothers the brightest of people. I will never forget that hell I went through. I went in a cheeky fightin' kid with a deep, strong flame, and came out with the embers barely glowing. It took years just to spark it up again. I'm terrified as to what'll happen to him.

I lean over the railing of my penthouse, not even noticing as it shakes and squeaks, making way for a young boy a little younger den me. "-Jack! JACK!" "Jesus Christ, yeah??? Oh, it's you, Dave..." I look away shamefully, he's probably here to chew me out and tell me we're done and gone. "What the hell was that?" I wince, I knew it. "Waddya mean 'what the hell was that?'?" "You know what I mean, JACK KELLY." I'm fucked. "YOU BETRAYED US FOR MONEY?!" "I WOULDN'T HAVE FELT PRESSURED TO IF I WADN'T DEALIN' WIT' A FLAKER!" Davey gives a bitter laugh and balls up the front of my shirt in his fist, tugging me towards him. "Ohoho! And if I wasn't your 'best friend' you'd be lookin' at me through one swollen eye!" "Oh, yeah? Well, don't let that stop ya, huh? Gimme your best shot!" something soft roughly pressing against my lips. The only thought at the moment is; 'Well, this is new... and passionate, 'specially from Dave' there's a heavy, awkward silence.

I back away from him, knocking over my drawings in the process. One specific drawing rolls out seemingly by fate. It taps on Davey's shoe and he looks down. His eyes widen a little as he reaches down to get it. "Is this.. the Refuge?" he puts a hand over his mouth, "weren't you stuck here once? Rats, cockroaches everywhere, 6 kids to a bunk? Holy fuc- I mean fudge." If the moment weren't this tense, I might've laughed. "Jack..." I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready." I shake my head and he drops his arm understandingly. "Either way, we could use this. Heck..." Davey seems deep in thought before his face lights up, "We could make our own newspaper!" I look at him in disbelief, he notices, and speaks again "think about it, Jackie! Kath's a real talented writer! This art could change the perspective of hundreds! We could write to tell all the workin' boys to go on Strike tomorra'! And we could expose Snyder in the process!" Hey, that's not too bad..."But, Dave, how're we gonna print it?" His face falls, "I didn't think about it...we're banned from every printin' press in New York.."

Oh no. Ohhh no. "No. Noooo." I whine, Davey chuckles, amused "what?" "I know a printin' press that no one would ever think of!" Davey grins, "Then what are we waitin' for?" He puts my drawing back into the case, and slings it over his shoulder, getting ready to climb down. Suddenly, a thought strikes me, "Wait-" "Yeah?" "Dave- what are we exactly? Like I know how we act to each other n' everything, but we've never really said out loud what we are..." Davey giggles, "Jackie-" "No! Tell me right now, are we... in love? Boyfriends, I guess?? Or am I just something for your own experimentation?"

He cups my face in his hands, "Jackie..." he kisses my nose, "Of course I love you! And yes! We are in love! Dating! Boyfriends! Whichever way you want to define us!" Soon we're both grinning ear-to-ear and blushing. "Now!" he exclaims, hopping up, clearly on a high from the whole kiss and convo, "Let's get to it!" I laugh and stand up as well, following my over-enthusiastic boyfriend down the ladder. As Davey said; Let's get to it!

(Y/N) POV:

'My head hurts...' I think groggily. I try to open my eyes, but my vision is blurred and wonky. I sit up. Nevermind. Everything hurts. As my vision starts to clear, I see a very tired Spot Conlon sitting in a chair in the corner of whatever room I'm in rubbing sleep from his eyes. He fixates his eyes on me for a second, and I can see the sleepiness and confusion in his eyes turn into shock and joy. "(N/N)! Ohmygod! I'm so glad you'se awake!" I can see him go to wrap me in a bear hug before holdin' himself back after he remembers all my injuries. Wait. My injuries. "Does this mean you know about...?" I vaguely gesture to my arms and Spot nods sadly, "And..." I cringe and gesture to my chest, now only lightly bound with medical tape, but tighter than needed for a typical injury. I smile to myself. That must've been Race. He's like a perfect older brother, not only thinkin' about my physical health, but also my mental well-being.

Spot notices the look on my face and sees me lookin' down at my chest, he chuckles, "Yeah, Race decided on that. He wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible while you heal." I start grinning even harder. Spot spoke up again "Don't forget that even boys born seen as boys don't have perfectly flat chests, so binding as tight as you did wasn't necessary or safe, for that matter." I give him a look, is Spot really trying to be the cis savior right now? He gives me a look right back, "What? I know what I'm talking about." He lifts his shirt up to reveal two scars on his chest. I gasp, "But you're only *insert years/months* younger/older than me! How did you even know that this was an option, as well, how did you do it?" He smirks, pulling his shirt back down, "Thought so. Anyway, I don't really know. I needed them off desperately and randomly thought of it. As for the how, Buttons is AMAZING with scissors and blades. Like, scary amazing." He shivers. I blink. Damn.

He gives a shy grin "Do I really pass that well?" I look at him enviously "Of course! But... how do you look so...masculine?" "Well, I tried my best to copy the behavior of other boys I saw. And the whole working out didn't hurt." I nod, taking a mental note. Behavior, got it. Can't promise sticking to a workout, though. Spot scoots closer, taking my hand in his, "But the most important thing to understand is- behavior, body type, and a powerful reputation doesn't define being a true boy. What does is what's in here-" he taps my head, "-and here." he points to my heart. Spot looks me in my eyes, "You could wear dresses, skirts, use a 'girly' name, hell, even go by she! and you'd still be a boy in my eyes." I feel my eyes water, and Spot opens his arms to me with a sincere look. I fall into his arms and cry tears of joy. Spot and Race are the older brothers I never had, helping me at every fork in the road of my transition.

(A/N: I noticed that a big issue in trans fanfics was that the cis person was always the one to condescendingly teaching the helpless trans kid how to bind properly. I decided to make both of your mentors trans, had them both know what they're talking about, and made sure that you weren't completely useless or clueless, only that you needed guidance seeing as (Y/N) is a trans kid with no former knowledge about his transition. As well, I kinda wanted this fic to be of help to any newcomer trans men. Anyway, on to the last of the story!)

"So how are your ribs feeling?" Spot asks after we both calm down, "A little sore, but pretty much moveable. Is it really this painful to bind? I mean, the past few weeks I had the binding stuff on was my first time." "It shouldn't, I mean, lookit Race. He seems energetic and flexible even when he's binding." I think he sees my insecure face because he speaks again, "What I mean to say is- if you have more experience binding, you'll know how to mix mental and physical comfort. Either way, what fucked up your ribs wasn't the binding, it was the Delancey's. Not saying the way you were binding wasn't bad and wouldn't have caused lasting damage, of course."

I see Spot have a flicker of thought behind his eyes, he pulls out an obviously stolen silver pocket watch with the initials H.A. engraved on it to check the time. "Almost time..." he mutters. I give him a suspicious look, "Almost time for what...?" he looks sheepishly at the ground, "Nnnnnothing." I let out a noise halfway between a snort and a scoff, "Uh huh." "Fine." he sighs, "All the newsies and workin' boys is comin' together today. We'se hopin' ta finish up this strike Once And For All."

"Let me guess, I shouldn't go because I'm still healing." He nods, "Spot!! I need to do my part in this strike! I can't miss the most important day of my life." he gives me a weird look, "You don't even know what the outcome'll be, plus I promised Race that you wouldn't get hurt." "Please, I've been bedridden for WEEKS. And I won't get hurt" I protest stubbornly, he sighs exasperatedly "FINE, but I'm gettin' you right outta there at the foist sign o' danger, okay?" "Okay!" I say, content with the compromise. "We should prolly get you up and used to legs again before the strike--" my stomach rumbles harder than Les when he sees the chocolate croissants in the Pastry Shop window, and that's seriously saying somethin', "--and something to eat, too."

Spot holds my hands as I get out of bed and basically learn to walk again with wobbly legs. You could just paint my back with spots and call me a baby deer. Once I get my legs to work with me, Spot leads me to a tin tub. I give him a 'seriously?' look, "What am I doin', goin' ta church?" he laughs sarcastically, "Ha, ha. (N/N), you haven't cleaned yourself since the last time you were conscious. I also need to refresh your bandages since those haven't been touched since Race changed them in the foist place." "Fiiiine" I growl.

Spot unwraps my arm and chest bandages, but when it comes to me taking off the rest of my clothes, he looks away (not even for my privacy, but just because he is highly repulsed to the idea of naked bodies) I add enough soap suds on top of the water to cover my body so he's comfortable.

He grabs some soap and lathers up my hair with it, soon rinsing it. He also lathers and rinses my face, removing the built-up dirt, grease, and sweat, which accumulated surprisingly quickly for only spending a month, or was it two, here. Spot brings out a small piece of scrap fabric and a bottle of some liquid, then gently grabs my arms. "This might burn a little," he said empathetically. He dampened the cloth with what I am assuming is disinfectant and started pressing it against my healing cuts. I tried to hold in my pain but let out a small hiss when the cloth reached the deeper cuts on the backs of my arms. Spot stopped temporarily, letting my arms adjust to the sting a little, before continuing. Once he's finished, he hands me the soap and leaves the room to let me bathe myself in peace and picks up my dirty clothes and old bandages. "Holler if you need anything!" he yells on his way out.

I create a lather in my hands and stand up so I can actually wash my body. The air is chilly compared to the bathwater, so I do my best to be quick as I let my soap hands travel gingerly over my body. I look down, and for the first time in a long time, I don't feel ashamed. Spot words echo in my mind as I smile softly; 'You could wear dresses, skirts, use a 'girly' name, hell, even go by she! and you'd still be a boy in my eyes.' I guess, for now, I'm confident in my masculinity.

I sit back down, enjoying the warmth, and rinse myself off. I step out of the bath and look at the grey-ish brown-ish water. Ew, was I really that dirty? As the cold air envelops me once more, I realize I don't have a towel. Or clothes. "Spot!" I call out, "Yeah?" I hear a faint voice, "I need a towel and some clothes!" I answer. There's quiet, then a series of rustling sounds that slowly get closer. The door opens a crack and I see a tan, muscular hand slide a pile of clothes and a towel in my direction. I smile gratefully, "Thanks, Spotty!" "Aye! Only Race can call me dat..." "Okay, fine."

I dry my hair as much as possible, before continuing to my body. There's not much actual rubbing rather than patting because of my injuries, so when I get my pants on and slip my button-down onto my shoulders, they get a little damp. "Spot?" I call out again, "Do you think you could help me with my bandages?" "'Course!" He casually picks up the chest bandages and binds it pretty much perfectly- Tight enough to make a difference in my chest size, but loose enough to let my ribs heal. Spot then starts re-bandaging my arms, "Can I ask you a question, Spot?" "Sure, (N/N)" he says nonchalantly, "Why is it you are repulsed by fully naked bodies, but you're perfectly casual and fine about helping me bind my chest when I'm half-naked?" he clears his throat as if he was ready to spin a whole story, "Well, Race used to live with me and we started trusting each other a lot more than when we first met. He trusted me enough to teach him the best way to bind, and he trusted me enough to feel comfy without a top on when around the house, so I'm kinda desensitized. But when it comes to people being naked or bein' overly suggestive, I just..don't like it. At all."

'Asexual,' I think, 'Knew it."

"Anyway, you ready to fight off the bulls and get our rights back, (N/N)?" He stands up and offers a hand to help me up, which I receive. I catch my reflection in the dirty bathwater. I can see crystal clear, that I am dapper, strong, and ready to kick some Delancey ass.

But first, Lunch.

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I arrive at the strike on Spot's shoulders, hyped for the happy ending they all worked so hard for. Spot sets me down gently and scans the crowd for someone. It seems he found them because his face lights up. I see Race run over to us. "(N/N)! Oh my god, I'm so fuckin' glad that you're awake! Especially today of all days!" however, his enthusiasm is soon replaced with concern, "But is ya sure yer okay? You must've woken up just today, so are you feeling good? Yer injuries don't hurt too bad, you're not dizzy, hungry, thirsty?" "Calm down, Tony, I gave him a bath, changed his bandages, gave him food n' water, even a pep talk, so you don't need to worry!" Race takes a few deep breaths, "Okay, okay, yeah I'm fine. But that's great!" He engulfs me in a firm, but gentle hug. I look around the crowd and see some familiar faces, Katherine seems to have brought another girl with her, who I'm assuming is Sarah, Davey's sister. I see Albert and Elmer tightly holding each other's hands. I see Finch and Smalls exchanging jokes as a form of distraction. I look back at Race and Spot, who are being so romantic, it's almost gross. Almost.

The adrenaline still hasn't left me so when people start getting as excited as me, it just hypes me up even more. We look up at the window of Pulitzer's office and see Jack and a few others standing there, waving. I wave back vigorously. Not too long after, Jack, Davey, Pulitzer, and The Governer appear on a balcony, Jack at the front. "Newsies of New York City..." cue the pause for dramatic effect, "WE WON!!" The crowd of newsies roars with joy. I watch as Crutchie limps out and beats Snyder's ass as the abuser is dragged away, I don't understand why so many people see him as an angel, it's obvious that he's a cheeky lil' rat bastard.

Suddenly, it's like everything is in slow motion. I look around once more and see Katherine and Sarah kissing, same with Albert and Elmer, Finch and Smalls are hugging each other tightly. I look back up at the balcony and see Davey and Jack gettin' it ON. I look once again to Spot and Race, who just finished kissing. Spot reaches down and hoists me onto his shoulders to cheer. And as I take in this momentous victory one sense at a time, I realize in a moment of pure bliss-

I finally found my true family.

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Word Count: 8190

(A/N):

This took VERY LONG (approx. one month, I just finished after working from 9 pm to 5 am) I know it was supposed to be a simple one-shot, but since there was no one to help narrow down and shorten the plot for me, I got carried away. I am, however, pleased with the length of it. This may be the longest fic I've ever written. As well, I hope any underlying advice or tips mentioned in the story helped you to understand/realize something.

I would love it if you were to vote, give me some constructive criticism, and/or request something for me to write! Don't forget- I live to write that one fanfic you can never find.

Love y'all!

~ Race

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bnha-butterfly · 4 years ago

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Hi! Aaaaa it says reqs are open so? Dbdbbff could i pls request the twins suna and kita with a trans male autistic s/o? Like headcanons on how they interact with him or whatever u want really tbh jdndfnn just ignore this if i did it wrong and sorry if i was specific enough. Ty in advance!

Kita, Suna, Atsamu, Osamu with an autistic trans male s/o

Hi hi random ask again fnfnf so u said u prob might take a while to get around to my request so i figured if i sent this ask in to give further detail it wouldnt like really screw with anything bc u havent started working on it yet? Presumably? Hdhdhf when i sent my req in i didnt really have anything specific in mind outside of general autism but! I did think of more details that i havent seen really talked about in general (in all kinda autism content and discussions ngl) so uh what do u think about adding to my request "low functioning" s/o like cant go to school or get a job bc its just so stressful and s/o cant cope type stuff (bc whenever theres autism representation its always the more "higher functioning" end of things which is like not everyones autism? Like its like that very one dimensional type of autism rep when theres so many different ways it affects ppl and - i am not going to go on a rant in an ask jesus christ im so sorry djdhfh) and dealing with some rejection sensitivity dysphroia/rsd?? Bc these are topics that dont really get covered and all fnfnfn its ok if u dont want/cant add this to my req tho im sorry for just randomly springing more details on you dhdhfb also sorry this is really long and wordy and if its hard to understand i tried to write it in a way thatd make sense dnfjf i just wanted to send this for your consideration ok ty! Sjdjfh 💚💚 💚

A/n - Just as a heads up I try to keep my blog as functioning label free as possible cus they lowkey make me uncomfy (don’t worry I didn’t have it in my rules so it's okay!) I’ll explain why they make me uncomfy/ why I hate them in a different post if anyone wants to know why.

Kita Shinsuke

This man always has a stim toy. Realistically he probably has a little pouch in his book bag that he carries with him everywhere that is just full of stim items. There’s a stress ball , a fidget cube and a few other things

Whenever you feel dysphoric he will literally remind you about how handsome you are. I mean like stand you in front of the mirror and point out all of his favorite parts of you

Definitely reminds you to be kind to your body and your brain cus they’re doing the best they can

If he has to cancel plans with you he always makes it up to you and tells you that he’d rather spend time with you.

Kita is so understanding and caring. He understands that school and work aren’t really an option for everyone for different reasons and he definitely understands that both are designed for neurotypical people.

Suna Rintaro

Rin keeps an extra pair of headphones on him at all times for if you get overwhelmed

If you ever mention to him that you’re going to sleep or if he sending you a good night text he always reminds you to take off your binder

Sometimes he wants to hangout with the team and has to turn you down. He knows RSD can make turning down spending time together feel like a kick in the face so he always promises to spend time with you later and tell you he loves you

If you ever have a low spoons + dysphoria type of day he’s coming over and spending time with you in bed. He’s bringing some of your favorite snacks/drinks/food and one of his hoodies that still smell like him.

His love language is quality time so he probably takes you on a lot of dates. Especially if they have something to do with your special interest or hyper fixation

Miya Osamu

He learns how to cook all of your safe foods just the way you like it.

Every morning you are greeted with a kiss to your temple and a sleepy Osamu grumbling a soft “good morning handsome” to you.

He understands that work isn’t really for you. But, sometimes he’ll take you with him to the onigiri shop with him to keep him company.

This man would move heaven and earth to see you happy everyday without hesitation.

He’s super responsive to all boundaries you have. Don’t want to be touched or cuddled a certain way? Okay. Need him to give you space after a meltdown/shutdown or on extremely dysphoria days? No problem.

Miya Atsumu

If you are nonverbal/semi verbal he definitely made you communication cards. He gave them to you for either an anniversary or your birthday and they are super well done. They’re laminated their color coated and they’re just lovely

He’s such a good listener. He could listen to you talk all day and never get tired. Whether it’s you just talking about insecurities while in bed together or him listening to you talk about a hyperfixation/ special interest you know he’s always willing to listen.

Insecurities who??? Not with Atsumu around. If he is not kissing away your insecurities he’s making you “laugh away the bad vibes”.

He always reminds you how much he loves you. He literally will not leave for practice until he gets a kiss and tells you he loves you, it’s gotten him in trouble for being late a few times but he always says he’d do it again. (and he always ends up doing it again)

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

Text

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes.

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

#vmin #jimin #taehyung #a poem for small things post series #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #so many sweet vmin things #you really came through with the cute submissions #dear class of 2020 #bts seasons greetings #BTS bon voyage 3

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lilyhoshikawa · 3 years ago

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🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

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lemonwritesstuff · 4 years ago

Text

safety pin (ow highschool au)

summary: jesse and genji make a promise to each other and maybe, this time, two wrongs will make a right. read it on ao3

a/n: this is very based off the song safety pin by 5 seconds of summer bc im on a mcgenji and old 5sos kick rn. Featuring an american high school written by a british first year college student. Also jesse and hana are jack and gabes kids ok good cool also genji is trans and lucio is enby ok bye

genji and jesse use he/him, hana uses she/her and lucio uses he/they

Ships: mcgenji, a sprinkling of bunnyribbit and background reaper76

word count: 1.2k (this is the longest fic i’ve ever written holy shit)

tw for mentions of transphobia and gender dysphoria/ self deprecating talk

Jesse just wanted to get to his locker. But instead, he was greeted with a crowd of people shouting horrible things at someone. Upon further investigation, he saw two people being targeted. And when the taller boy saw the green, he knew it was Genji and Lucio.

Genji could usually stand up for himself, so why wasn’t he?

Before anything could happen physically, the vice principal, Jack Morrison, appeared with his husband and head of phys ed, Gabriel Reyes, in tow. They were the teachers in charge of the GSA and they were also Jesse’s parents. They both knew how much Genji meant to Jesse, and how much Lucio meant to Genji so they were always first to take their side whenever anything happened to them.

“Get to class, all of you!” Jack shouted, his voice laced with anger but also an attempt to stay professional. Gabe weaved through the crowds in an attempt to get them to disperse, before he caught the dickheads responsible.

“Principal's office. Now” Gabe scowled, his voice also laced with anger.

As the crowd cleared, Jack spotted Jesse and Hana, worry plastered on their faces.

“Jesse, Hana, stay here.” he said, his voice much softer. He had a soft spot for any of the kids in the GSA, he’d been in their position years ago and was glad to give them the help he wished he had. At this point, the GSA was just the entire queer population of the school and no allies, but that was fine. They could all just unapologetically be themselves, without the fear of judgement. The GSA was the safest place in the school to be for them.

“I’ll let your teachers know what's gone on and have them mark you in for the rest of the day but you don't have to go to class.” He was addressing the four of them now, voice still soft but laced with concern for the green duo. “I’ll write you all hall passes but you’re free to sit in our room if you want to. I’ll also notify all staff about what’s happened and I’ll be in my office if any of you need me.”

“Thank you, Sir.” the four of them said in somewhat unison. Once Jack had walked off, Hana rushed over to Lucio, who was leaning against the wall and still shaking from the encounter.

“Lú! Are you ok?” Hana asked, concern now laced through her voice. She cradled Lucio’s head in her hands, rubbing away their tears.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, Hana. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I guess I deserve it, wearing a skirt to school” they replied. Being one of two openly trans people in the entire school was bound to go wrong at some point.

“Shut it, dingus. We both know you don’t deserve it. It’s not our fault people are transphobic assholes.” Genji chimed in.

“Exactly!” Hana said. “Now, let's go sit in the room and fix your makeup. You deserve to feel pretty, baby.” With that statement, the pair set off, hand in hand, to the room that GSA meetings were held in, leaving Jesse and Genji alone in the hallway. Genji was still processing what happened but Jesse pulled him back to reality.

“Our spot?” Jesse asked, voice quiet in order to not disturb the students learning in the class opposite them. Genji just nodded, and after Jesse got his bag from his locker (which was the only reason he was in that part of the school anyway), they set off toward the exits.

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“Thank god I got some snacks, I forgot we were gonna have a shorter lunch. I’m starvin’.” Jesse started, plonking himself down on the ground with Genji following suit opposite him. “You ok darlin’? Ya still look scared. How come ya didn’t stand up for yourself? I know you can, the entire grade has seen ya do it before.” Genji chuckled and sighed, before replying.

“I was already having a bad enough day with my dysphoria and I was talking about it with Lucio when someone overheard us and.. yeah.”

“Oh, baby, I-”

“No, it’s fine.” Genji said, cutting Jesse off. “They’re right, I’m not a real man and never will be. I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to break up with me, Jesse.” Genji couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and before he could say anything, he was in Jesse’s arms. One of the few places he felt safe. One of two places where he could exist without judgement.

“Dumplin’, I know it’s hard but please never believe anything those assholess say. You’re not only a man, but you’re MY man and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing will ever change that. Ever. They’re just asshats that lack so much self confidence that they tear others down.” Jesse said softly, cradling his lovers face in his hands, wiping away tears.

Genji melted at any nickname Jesse gave him, especially dumpling. It came from an in-joke on their first date, where Genji had compared himself to a dumpling, small and bite sized (compared to Jesse anyway) and the nickname stuck ever since.

“Do ya want me to do anything, darlin’?” Jesse murmured, rubbing circles on Genji’s back in an effort to calm his tears.

“No, this is fine for now.” Genji barely whispered, not even daring to look up at the brunette. Just as Jesse was about to reply, his phone pinged.

buncha fuckin misfits

padre: the dickheads have been dealt with and they’re outta here

gaymer gorl: good riddance lmao

boy scout lookin ass: those kids have done this multiple times and i’m surprised it took this long to expel them

boy scout lookin ass: how are gen and lú by the way?

gaymer gorl: i redid Lú’s makeup and they’re back to lookin fabulous!

yee to the haw: just givin’ gen some cuddles, he was already havin’ a bad day with dysphoria and he just needs some convincin’ that he’s stronger than he thinks. he’ll be ok :)

With that, Jesse shut off his phone and turned his attention back to the green haired boy in his arms. The brunette ran his hands through the sea of green hair beneath him, letting out a low whistle when he realised how soft it was.

“I redyed it last night” Genji said, his tears having pretty much run dry at his point.

“Well, ya better tell me what hair products you use, darlin’. Wish my hair was as soft as this.”

Genji let out a chuckle, which made Jesse smile. He’s getting there.

The pair stayed like that for some time until Jesse had an idea. He reached over to his bag and pulled a safety pin off the strap, handing it to Genji. Before Genji could question him, he began to explain himself.

“ Maybe we can safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts back together. We’ve both been hurt so much in the past, and we’re obviously gonna wanna be whole in the future. So, I’ll give you this as a promise, that I’m always gonna have your back and the one on my bag is your promise to me, that you’ll always have my back. Make sense?” Jesse said, pinky extended towards his love, smile creeping onto his face.

“Of course.” Genji replied. “Besides, maybe, this time, two wrongs make a right.”

#el loves mcgenji #jesse mcree #genji shimda #bunnyribbit #lucio correia dos santos #hana song #gabriel reyes #jack morrison #reaper76 #trans genji shimada #trans genji #non binary lucio #non binary lucio correia dos santos #high school au #elwritessometimes #teenage writer #writer of tumblr #overwatch #mcgenji

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yaboyspodcastpalace · 3 years ago

Note

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

#i say the same phrase many times but basically best parts of s4 are hands down peter. lonely!mart. peter and martin. melanie's arc. thats it #best parts of s5 are jon killing the not!them. annabelle. mikaele. annabelle & mikaele. annabelle and martin. thats it #dhfjfj sorry half of these are a bummer but you asked me... characters i have a complicated relationship with... i love the three of them s #statement ends #THANKS i love... talking

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theonlyrealgod · 5 years ago

Text

Kaminari Denki x Reader; Jiro’s Best Friend

relationship: Kaminari Denki x Reader

fluff ~

warnings : literally one curse word

2.5k words

“Are we there yet?” Kaminari groaned for the thousand times since he and Jiro got on the train but was, just like the past two hours and a half of the ride, only greeted with silence.

The purple-haired girl sat across from him with one headphone in quietly listening to music and occasionally tapping the armchair she rested her hand on. They got very lucky with the seats, no one around them and a lot of space and quiet that was quickly filled with Denki’s rambling about his training with Sero and what Mina told him about Todoroki one time and how mad Bakugou was after he pranked him.

Jiro has honestly gotten used to having Kaminari around. Sure he was annoying and loud and kind of stupid at times but nonetheless he was always there to keep her company and make her laugh if he tried he could make a really good friend. He also matured a lot during their time at UA and wasn’t just a horny teenager all the time. Sometime during the time they spent together at school and then at the dorms, she found herself texting him during the summer vacation and at some point they became somewhat close to best friends. Of course, if anyone asked he had Kirishima and she had Momo but it just so happened that here she was, with him, driving to meet her best friend from middle school.

“And then Mina said she heard some weird noises from Kirishima’s room when he had Bakugo over for studying and-“ his one-sided chatter was cut short by the announcement of the next stop they were approaching. Jiro put her headphones away and looked at her friend “This is it.” she said and got up moving towards the doors with Kaminari following right behind her.

“So Jiro, what are they like?” he asked. The train stopped and the doors slide open revealing the streets of a town ni ether of them had seen before.

“As far as I can remember they are freaking awesome, they were my best friend after all” Jiro said stepping off the train and wiping some invisible dirt off her clothes.“Well yeah obviously” Kaminari laughed standing beside her. Jiro sighed heavily and looked around looking for anyone who looked even remotely like what you looked like.

“Hey, are you sure you’re ok?” Kaminari said, his facial expressions slowly turning into a more concern one. Jiro was honestly very nervous. She wasn’t even sure what to do when she saw you or what to say or how to act, so much has changed and she hasn’t seen you in two years. You moved away just before Jiro had her UA entrance exam, you weren’t there to support her, to celebrate when she told you the good news. You guys kept in touch but as her hero work became more serious, she had less and less time to call you and it honestly surprised her when she saw your name written across the screen asking her to visit you during one of her free days. And here she was, unsure of how this will go.

“I’m just worried about you to know this... us meeting her and-“ her spoken thoughts were interrupted by a voice, a familiar voice she hadn’t heard in years

“Kyoka!” you screamed maybe a little too loud for many people passing and turning, shaking their heads disapprovingly and poor Kaminari that got scared at the sudden voice. Jiro turned to look at you and her worries were suddenly gone, replaced by nostalgia. “Y/n,” she said breathing heavily as you went and hugged her. She tensed up for a second before giving in and hugging you back.

“This is... uh,” Jiro’s face suddenly fell when she looked back at her male friend who looked like he just used too much electricity. “Kaminari Denki,” she said slowly still concerned over his state. His eyes were fixed on you and his jaw was almost hitting the floor. He had become very good at controlling his hormones but whatever he had expected it definitely wasn’t this.

“Um..” you laugh awkwardly at his reaction “I’m F/n L/n” you extend your hand for him to grab. “Oi” Jiro punched Kaminari in the arm and he finally woke up from his trans, red in the cheeks “Ah yes h-hi. Kaminari” he said introducing himself again and shaking your hand. You just laughed playfully at him and blushed a little yourself.

Jiro was narrowing her eyes watching the weird tension between you two. “Ok... what now?” she asked looking at you since you obviously knew the town better than them.

“Oh good, you asked! I actually have the whole day planned out for us” you said with a big smile. “You guys must be starving, let’s go eat first” you smile looking first at Kyoka and back at Kaminari who was still blushing.

“Do it again ahahahaha Kaminari I can’t” Jiro was choking on her words from laughing as she begged Kaminari to show you what happens when he uses too much of his quirk for the sixth time. You were cracking up at the results but didn’t want him to completely wear himself out as you guys just finished eating.

The people around you were probably giving you three weird looks because of how much noise you were making by laughing.

“Ah Kaminari you’re quirk is really amazing!” you said to cheer him up after Jiro teased him. “Thanks,” he said and scratched the back of his neck giving you a warm smile.

“What’s your quirk Y/n?” he asked curiously. You blushed slightly “It’s nothing special and also really weak but I can turn any non-organic material into clothing.” you explained with a slight smile. Kaminari thought for awhile “That can be useful” he said eventually. You chuckled looking at Kyoka who was grinning “Well she got lucky” Jiro said. Denki furrowed his brows in confusion looking back and forth between the two of you. “What do you mean?” he asked. “I’m actually studying to be a fashion designer so my quirk is indeed very useful” you smiled explaining. It wasn’t your quirk that made you chose fashion, it just so happened to help a lot with achieving your dreams.

Kaminari looked surprised for a moment “Oh” he said “Wait why didn’t you tell me this before Jiro! That’s so cool.” he said sounding genuinely excited for you.

You just laugh and shake your head continuing the conversation, talking about school and the hero course, the villains they have fought and the teachers.

Time flew by as you took them to all of your favorite places around the town. You all probably couldn’t remember when was the last time you had such a good time outside of school.

Not only were you able to catch up with Jiro but also got to know Kaminari really well, it felt like you have known each other for years.

“So you actually have a pervert in class?!” you ask widening your eyes at all the stories about their class. “Well if you count out Denki, we have one yeah” Jiro said casually sipping on her drink. You almost choke on yours and Kaminari spits him out to yell over you “Ah!? I’m not a pervert, you are!” Jiro turned to him flipping him off “You know I’m right. You’re always checking Momo out when she’s in her hero costume.” Kaminari said and that made Jiro blush like crazy

“I- I do not!” she protested but you saw right through her lies. She must have noticed your expression when her lips turned into a thin line and her face even redder than before “You have a crush? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Kyoka!” you said smacking her hand.

“A-ah it’s not anything yet” Jiro finally gave in but regretting it immediately when she saw the smug on Denki’s face. He will not stop teasing her about it once they get back.

“Alright guys” you began checking the clock. It was already getting late. “I have one last thing planned for us to do,” you said excitedly. Kaminari sulked a little, realizing they’re leaving soon.

“What is it?” Jiro asked looking at you a little less flustered this time.

“It’s karaoke!” you sing loudly and cheering up your idea. Kaminari and Jiro soon joined in both loving the suggestion. “Hell yeah, cmon let’s go we can’t waste another second” Kaminari panicked pulling you down from the fountain you were sitting on to run towards wherever you were taking them.

You laugh “Denki wait!” but he was already ahead of you.

“What about this one?” Jiro asked remote in her hand.

“No way, gimme that” Kaminari protested trying to get the remote from her. “Stop it, it’s my turn and I wasn’t asking you” she snapped and turned towards you. “Fine! Let Y/n decide then” Denki said crossing his hands on his chest. “Ok” was all Jiro said before all attention was on you again.

You have been singing for at least an hour now and they still haven’t gotten tired of it.

“I actually agree with Denki,” you said slowly not wanting to start another fight between the two of them. “Ugh you people probably share the same brain cell for shit music,” Kyoka said pouting

“I’ll excuse myself to the bathroom then, have fun,” she said before walking away and you were left alone with Denki- what was she thinking leaving you two alone, you just met today and he was kind of low key, ok really cute. You blushed a little at your thoughts.

“Alright I guess,” he said shrugging and walked over to you. “You don’t have to sing if you're uncomfortable with just me you know?” he smiled shyly knowing Kyoka did this on purpose, she probably figured out he liked you.

“Actually do you want to dance?” you asked hoping he’d say yes. You loved dancing and the thought of dancing with Kaminari really didn’t seem all the bad, quite the opposite actually. “Oh” you caught his surprised expression, he almost looked scared. “I don’t know how” he finally said still showing little to no emotions other than surprised. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you... if you want?” you said hoping he wouldn’t just leave you standing.

“Alright” he simply said awfully calm and got up walking towards you. “It’s really nothing special, just enjoy yourself,” you said a little panicked since you were nowhere near a professional dancer turning on the music and Accidentally in love started playing.

You moved around to the melody having fun with it. Kaminari, on the other hand, was lost, his body just didn’t move like yours and you made him very nervous. When you stopped to get a glance at him you tried but really really tried not to laugh. Didn’t work, you burst into laughter and watch as he blushes embarrassed.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he said. “I told you I don’t know how to dance,” he said crossing his arms. You go and grab his hand pulling him closer to you “Just follow my lead” you said in his ear so he could clearly hear you over the music. You two started dancing and even though Kaminari stepped on your toes countless times he was getting better. You were smiling and laughing at his silliness the whole time.

“No Denki, what is that?” you asked while laughing “This how I dance TEACHER,” he said emphasizing the fact that it really was your job to teach him as you promised. “Alright alright come here boy” you laugh and pull him closer. “I’m not a dog you know-“ his eyes widen when you were suddenly closer than expected and your arms went slowly to wrap themselves around his neck. Kaminari didn’t know what to think, he looked down at you sighing deeply, his hand automatically went on your waist when suddenly the door opened and Jiro walked in.

You and Kaminari jumped away from each other both blushing and looking at anywhere bit Jiro. “What?” Jiro asked annoyed looking at the two of you.

“Nothing,” you and Kaminari said at the same time making it even weirder. “Alright weirdos we have time for one more song,” Jiro said and walked up to you. Kaminari wasn’t sure what just happened a few minutes ago but couldn’t help and wonder; would you have kissed him if Jiro wouldn’t barge in?

“Ok Kaminari, wait here I’ll go buy us tickets”

Jiro ordered once you got to the station. She walked away leaving you and Denki alone once again.

You were sad they had to leave already but you also understood how hard hero work must be. “I guess this is goodbye then,” Kaminari said looking at you. “I guess it is” you sigh “It was really fun hanging out with you,” he said smiling “sort of took our minds of hero work for a while” he chuckled

“aw I’m so glad I was able to do that,” you answered with a big smile.

“Should probably wish us luck though.” Kaminari said looking around “Oh why’s that?” you ask curiously “It’s way after our bedtime” he explained and you immediately burst into laughter interrupting him “What are you five? Heroes who fight deadly villains have a bedtime?” you kept laughing while Denki just rolled his eyes. “Don’t laugh, it’s serious. If they catch us sneaking in after-hours we’ll be in big trouble” he scolded you and you couldn’t help but feel bad for them.

“Alright, how bout this for good luck?” you pull him close by grabbing his shirt and press your lips onto his. Kaminari widens his eyes at the sudden action but slowly melts into the kiss and kisses you back.

Jiro finished buying tickets and headed back only to find you two exploring each other’s throats “Ew” she said furrowing her face and cringing “You guys are disgusting” you both stop what you were doing both blushing and looking at Jiro.

Kaminari quickly put on a smirk “Go ahead, I’ll be right after you” he said and winked. Jiro made a barfing sound and pushed past you two to get to the train waving you goodbye. “Now... where were we?” Kaminari smirked leaning in again only to be stopped by your hand “You need to get on this train” you said reminding him that it’s the last one.

“Nah I’ll just sleepover,” he said jokingly and you just rolled your eyes.

“Here, I have a little fashion show next month. You can come and see me if you’ll have time” you said and pulled out an invitation handing it to him. “Jiro will give you my number and then maybe we’ll continue this,” you said with a smirk.

Kaminari took the piece of paper and put it in his pocket making sure he doesn’t lose it. “I’ll try my best,” he said and quickly pecked your lips before waving you goodbye getting on the train home.

I think it’s needless to say Jiro was teasing him the for the whole ride and nobody at the dorm believed him that you kissed him and not the other way around. However, Kaminari was never home again when they had a free day.

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panthaprincess · 4 years ago

Text

Rambling About My Right To Openly Identify As A Bisexual Woman

So… I wanted to hit you with some real talk. And if no one reads this, that’s ok. I just wanted to express myself really.

I’m going to have a little chat about my personal life for a minute and I will touch upon gender, sexuality, emotional abuse (briefly), and mental health issues, so if that’s not your idea of fun… maybe don’t read on...

If you’re still here, hey! Thank you 😊

Let me preface this by saying that I am a bisexual cis gendered female. There’s no doubts in my mind about who I am.

I came to the realisation that I was bi kind of late in life. I finally said the words to myself maybe 3 years ago, but the signs had always been there. I’d always found women attractive, but I’d never considered dating one, because, well, I was straight of course! I had no desire to, no inclination.

But then there was the one who awaken that spark. We talked, we flirted, I felt so connected to her. I felt the same way about her that I’d felt about guys before. It was a watershed moment.

The relationship didn’t last long, it all ended just days before I went through a huge change in my life by moving to another country completely alone, but it lasted long enough to make me question everything I’d ever known.

I dwelled on it for a couple of months before I finally said the words, and in those weeks I analysed myself and my experiences. Wondering how I’d never considered this before.

I remember sitting in my living room as a teenager with a dear friend and talking all night about how I felt like a homosexual man. How I felt all wrong in my skin, how I really liked men, but not in the way they other girls seemed to like them which made no sense to either of us. This was before I really understood anything about trans people. In hindsight, do I think I believed I was trans? No, I don’t think so, although I did do a lot of research on the subject trying to see if that fit with the way I was feeling. Now that I’m older I think I was just a confused, very depressed teenager trying to give a label to the strange things I thought and felt. All I could be really sure about was that I felt different.

It was around this time that I discovered the power that I held in my hands (read “my boobs”) and how I could fulfil my desire for attention and physical contact while keeping everyone at arm’s length. Losing my virginity had been such a deeply shitty experience, one that I did not want to repeat but… boys paid attention to girls that put out. My compromise was getting on my knees for pretty much anyone who asked and politely declining any attempts at reciprocation. Thinking back now I just want to give my younger self a hug, stop myself from travelling down this path towards the open arms of my future abuser. But alas, hindsight is always 20/20.

Anyway! We are getting off topic. My point is I always felt different but could never put my finger on why and filled that gap in knowledge with gender confusion, sex, and abusive assholes. But I got better, I got mentally healthy and ready to return to the real world (thanks in part to the amazing fandoms I was part of, and the brilliant people I connected with in them). That’s the landscape into which this girl walk, watering can in hand, and nourished that dry barren part of my soul and allowed it to blossom. And even though her presence in my life was short lived, I will forever be grateful to her.

So here I was in a new vibrant city, the world at my feet, about to take the first furtive steps into my new sexual awakening… And that’s when I fell in love… With a dude. *face palm*

Now, I don’t mean to imply that was a bad thing, I’m crazy for that man. We’ve been together for two and a half years and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Which brings me around to the original point of this post.

I never got the chance to full explore my bisexuality, but the door is open now, and it ain’t gonna shut any time soon. So here I stand as I woman who has had very little experience, and no public relationships with women, in a hetero relationship that I don’t plan on ever ending. So people just assume I’m straight and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’m not straight. I’m not. However, when I go to tell them that I just… Can’t. For some reason I feel like I need evidence to prove that I’m bi, something tangible I can shake in their face to say “Look! Look! I told you I wasn’t straight!”

My partner is also not entirely hetrosexual, though he doesn’t class himself as bisexual. He doesn’t care about labels, he’s just living his goddamn life, other people be damned. But I just don’t seem to be able to let it go.

When I meet LGBTQ+ people I want to scream out to them at the top of my lung “I’m one of you! Take me with you!” but I just can’t.

I don’t feel like I have the right to be openly Bisexual.

Let me explain…

My partner and I lived with a friend for a while who was gay. Out and out, proud as punch gay. He would often make jokey comments about us along the lines of “lol straight people” or “Ugh. Breeders!” All in good humour you see, but nevertheless it got to me. I wanted to say to him “Hey! Dude. I’m not straight, and neither he!” But I’d always just give an awkward smile. How could I say anything to him? How could I say “that upsets me” when I had lived my whole life benefiting from the heteronormative privileges that he didn’t have.

One day after a “breeders, am I right?!” quip I said to him, “You know that’s really offensive” and he came back at me with something along the lines of it being payback for all the awful things straight people had say to him and his. All I could say was “Two wrongs don’t make a right” and screwed the lid on my sexuality down even tighter.

(Side note, him and I are really good friends, both then and now)

Some people do know I’m bi. If I tell anyone it’s normally straight people because with them I feel like less of a fraud. For some reason I feel like they’re less likely to ‘doubt’ me in some way. Which is stupid.

I shouldn’t have to feel like an ‘under qualified’ queer person, intimidated into silence in the presence of other queer people.

And let me be crystal clear here. No one is making me feel with way. I am not being oppressed by anyone. This is all coming from my own internal struggle to align who I am inside with the person I display on the outside. But it is the way I feel nonetheless.

So in conclusion, I don’t have a conclusion. I don’t really know why I made this post. I think I just want to tell someone, anyone, who I really am without the fear of having to look you in the eye while I do it.

If you’ve read this far down, hats off to you! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. This was very cathartic.

Pantha <3

#panthatalks #bisexuality #bi girl #im confused #ramble ramble ramble

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neptunevasilias · 4 years ago

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Neptune?

Oh boy...... this dude. Buckle the fuck in

Favorite thing about them

Gay bitch! *does a gay little run that pisses you off* also he is trans

Serious answer: what a fucking nerd. Same hat! Seriously though, I love how for all he tries to seem “cool,” he’s just a nerd. Also, I think he’s very analytical! I really liked his chapter in btd because of that. And same hat to that as well. Just in general, he’s super fun to play with, and he’s really compelling to me because of how much he Tries but ultimately does not succeed.

Least favorite thing about them

Apart from the Everything(aka the playboy attitude)? I actually hate that he’s treated as a joke for acting “gay” in rwby chibi. Like ok, yeah, I’ll take my crumbs, but make it canon fuckers

Favorite line

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

brOTP

*gets out my metaphorical spreadsheet* ruby and here’s why

They’re both bookworms! Ruby loves fiction, Neptune loves nonfiction. Together, they tackle the whole library. But at the same time, Ruby absolutely grew up watching remnant’s bill nye the science guy and also is smart enough to make crescent rose, and also I think she’d read a lot about any topic that interested her. And Neptune would be such a romantic and secretly read YA romance novels. Just. Bookworms bonding, yes. Also they’re both autistic don’t @ me. Also also, iirc lindsay said her favorite character(besides ruby of course) is neptune, so yeah.

OTP

Seamonkeys but this is where I actually Talk About It

So. The fall of beacon wasn’t actually the first time Sun left his team, and he says this himself. He did this in volume 1, when he ditched them to leave for vale early. So the thing about not just seamonkeys, but the whole team dynamic, is that this isn’t the first time sun fucked up like this. But what makes the fall of beacon the more important and gut-wrenching and dynamic-altering one, apart from what I just said, is how long he’s gone. He’s gone for months. And right after the fall of beacon no less, which was traumatic for everyone, these boys included. So while they’re recovering and trying to get things back to “normal,” they don’t even have their team leader there to help them or even just be with them.

Neptune of course is in love with him. Obviously. Who do you take me for, this is a seamonkeys blog. Honestly I think he was in love with sun the whole time and has been pining since the beginning of their friendship. Anyway, he’s got all these conflicting emotions about what’s happening. Obviously they’re all mad, him included, but most of all he just misses sun. And his absence is noticeable. Who’s there to rally them into doing dumb shit anymore?

The worst part is that they can’t contact him, because the CCT network is down. But can you imagine, the day that sun finally showed up again in his contacts once he went back to haven? God.

So once they’re reunited, neptune clings to him. He doesn’t want to lose him for a third time, and he also wants to make up for lost time, and also he wants to be able to pretend like none of it ever happened, that they can go back to their normal routine now that he’s back. That’s what they did last time, right? And between sage and scarlet not wanting anything to do with sun, neptune trying so hard to pretend things are how they’ve “always” been, and sun wanting to just get on with it all without putting in any of the emotional work to reconcile with his team, nothing is getting done.

I have my own version of events that goes down after that because before the dawn is my playground that I can do whatever I want with, but basically what needs to happen is that neptune needs to basically get a life outside of his team. And honestly the reinitiation was the perfect way of doing that. I have him bond with team BYRN(especially Rae, wink wink nudge at my followers who’ve seen me talk about her before). And being around new people helps boost his self-confidence, and then he’s ready for a romantic relationship with sun.

Sun though? Just needs someone to put him in his place and wake him the fuck up. And blake did give this to him, at the start of before the dawn he’s leaps and bounds better than he was in volume 4. But there’s still more work he needs to put in. He needs to actually commit to his team, so btd is about that.

Basically, sun fucks up, and both of them need to put in the effort to make their relationship work. Mostly though, it’s about the pining. You cannot even begin to imagine the pining. Surprisingly I didn’t tallk about it much during these several paragraphs, but that’s because it can really be summed up in one sentence llksdjfdlksfj. Also as a subset of that, JEALOUS NEPTUNE good god

nOTP

Him and yang sorry for anyone who ships them but she just finds him so fucking annoying god bless good for her

Random headcanon

Buddy...... buddy. You have no idea. There is one in particular that i’ll tallk about though: him and pyrrha used to be friends at Sanctum.

Not best friends. Not even close friends. But they were the only friend the other had. They were the loners that sat at the same lunch table and did group projects together, but didn’t hang out or know each other that well. But they were in this situation for opposite reasons. With pyrrha, it’s the same as when she’s at beacon: everyone sees pyrrha nikos the champion fighter, the celebrity, someone they shouldn’t talk to, or get to know. She was isolated from everyone. With neptune.... well, he canonically has “about the presence of a chair.” And one of my biggest headcanons for him is that before he met the rest of team sssn, he didn’t put effort into trying to look “cool,” he was just a nerd. So yeah, no one really noticed him either.

So him and pyrrha only really had each other, and even then it wasn’t that deep of a friendship. They were both academic, though; like, invested in their studies and stuff, so I think that commonality did make them more comfortable with each other. And maybe near their graduation, pyrrha invited neptune to study with her, but then they went off to different academies and never got any closer than that. Maybe neptune started crushing on pyrrha, but again nothing would have come of it and he would’ve just tried to hide it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I bet they danced with each other at school dances, very awkwardly of course. Pyrrha would ask him once the dance had started and they had been standing there a while bc he was the only one she was comfortable with. Hmmmm actually writing this made me even more invested in these two than I was ten minutes ago. Welp. And they’re not a ship for me, but brotp doesn’t really fit either, I just think they were really important to each other at that point in their lives.

Unpopular opinion

Ok so this is complicated. I guess my unpopular opinion is “he actually has the possibility to have so much fucking depth if the writers could just SEE it” *loses my mind*

Song I associate with them

The song from that album is Ewing

But uh lskdjflkdfjd I have a (more or less) carefully cultivated neptune playist and I could show you everything here individually, and explain exactly why it’s on there, but I won’t. I will say though, Drops of Jupiter by Train perfecty captures the seamonkeys feel, although Sleepless Nights by ayokay has been THE seamonkeys/neptune song for me for over a year now so nothing can take its place. Here’s the full playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZulwB4hWIdZ3LxxQ5QuvQ?si=-XiW2VUeRVacrMs23vYlnw

There’s everything ranging from serious songs(i wanna get better) to joke songs(santa baby) to otter pop which is on there because of ottertune(if you remember ottertune you’re entitled to a rwby senior discount)

Favorite picture of them

So fucking many but here take this yes it is my current pfp

#ask #anon #chris post #OOPS it was a lot #*delibrates over whether to post this for like an hour*#team season

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trashbinbackyard · 4 years ago

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any armed asshats one and docs

I’m going with helvi and kai bc i cant stop myself now this train is on one way track

What was their first impression of each other?

Kai was Helvi’s friend’s cute older brother. Kai knew Helvi was good friends with Kat but he had his own friends so he didnt pay that much attention to her when they were younger

Enrique knew Juno was feisty and very smart and professional. Juno probably had some doubts about him herself because he never really hid his past

What is their ship name?

Oh no my sister/friend disappeared and doesn’t want to be found, what do

Docs

Describe their relationship dynamic.

Kai is a very talented hunter, Helvi is a shaman, she always blesses his hunts and safe return. They also still lowkey look for Kat even though they know if she wanted to be found she’d show herself

Two highly intelligent people toss their brains out every now and then to be snarky and loving to each other

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Kai is few years older than Helvi, Helvi being few years older than Kat. They got along when they were kids and even in their teens weren’t that interested in the other. When Kat took off, Kai hasn’t seen her since, Helvi did see her when she brought Sacran to be healed but then disappeared again. Now they’re very worried about Kat Together

Professional, they were coworkers and Enrique knew Juno was engaged and he respected that

How would they describe each other?

Helvi is sweet and free-spirited, cares a ton, great singing voice too. Kai is strong and reliable, quiet but very empathetic, leader type, if things get dicey

Juno is simply amazing. She’s smart, temperamental, sassy, determined, beautiful, he could go on and on. To her he’d be respectful, rowdy but in the good way, not too much trouble, attentive, intelligent, fun, not a bad looker either

What do they love about each other?

man sometimes these questions, do i just interpret these wrong lol. For both of them what i just said ^

What do they have in common?

They’re both from the same village, are well known and loved and respected by its people. Both are very close to nature, both love taking care of people in their own ways

Both are smart and reliable, they have similar sense of humor and both can get pretty sassy, they like taking care of themselves and having fun when work allows them to

What are some differences between them?

Helvi is very nurturing and people person, Kai is more aloof

Juno is very serious at work, Enrique sometimes takes the piss on his patients but all in good humor. Also he used to be sketchy and Juno is prim and proper doctor

What made them realize they were in love?

When they first started looking for Kat, they didnt say it but they both felt it “I dont want to loose you too”

When Juno had her engagement annulled and Enrique was shoulder to cry on, they’ve been good buddies for a while and they worked together so well

What are their love languages?

Acts, Helvi makes sure Kai is extra blessed before venturing out to the forest. Kai brings her bones and trinkets she might need, he also cuts her the best pieces of meat from his catch

Touch and words pretty equally, they’re kind of horndogs both of them, but cuddling and just standing right next to each other is sooo good. Words but not your usual petname shit, in that house they make open mockery of both of them in very endearing way

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

In the future, maybe, Kai probably because his dad wanted him to, he really needed that nudge (Kory the dad, the chief the wingman)

They do get married, but i can’t remember if who proposes has been established (i searched thru out blogs and cant find anything), I’d wage Juno because Enrique knew she had been engaged before and it went Bad, so he wouldn’t want to push it

What would happen if they never met?

Helvi would still be a shaman, in a nother village if she wasn’t born in the same one as Kai, she would probably find herself a cute gf or bf to love. Kai would still be a hunter, though his love life would a be drifting tumbleweed

Juno would still be a doctor, just going through her breakup less elegantly. Enrique would still stop being a pirate and find a clinic to take him in, if not that one in the citadel then maybe on outer rim

Are there any love rivals?

Kai honestly was that typical “cool older guy with tons of potential love interests” trope type but he had his friends and the rest of the orbiters he was too shy to get to know, Helvi was safe enough. I bet there are still some lads and lasses who’ve had their eyes on Kai

Well at first Ross, but Enrique knew his place and he didn’t really Try to get Juno, it happened organically i swear

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

Too new to have Moments yet

Anything to do with Bob tbh, their angel and demon halloween part where they end up switching costumes by the end of the night was fun too lmao

What do other characters think about this relationship?

They think they’re sweet together. Also Kory wants to retire as a chief and maybe Kai getting a wife would give him a confidence boost to take up the keys

Most of the time the clinic approves, no one was a big fan of Ross. But sometimes,,, oh dear, not again in the supply closet

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

When Kai finds out Helvi has seen Kat since she disappeared. He’s upset she didn’t follow her or talk to her more but Helvi tries to convince Kai that she is doing ok

Enrique confesses he did consider suicide way back when his old crew died and his illness began to act up more

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

Literally anything at this point lool. Helvi is trans, that’s right, siblings Kat and Kai said trans rights

Enrique probably has given a pocket knife for Juno for good safety measure, also showed how to use it, just in case, you are small and divine, please be safe

What does a typical date look like for them?

Going out to the forest, Kai helps Helvi collect herbs, sit down and eat some berries and talk about animals and plants

Out for couple drinks, dancing, having fun, dinner, long walk

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

Eventually when they (maybe) get married

Them getting together after crushing on each other for a while

#the priests in ivira's temple provide 'fuck this gender i want to be something else' potions #cant you tell i cant fucking stop myself #not that much story for kai and helvi like the pirate trio but im getting somewhere #and listening to heilung #armed asshats #space shitstorm #the docs are fun and rowdy but also reliable and professional #juno has timer but enrique has a metronome

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ellaenchanting · 5 years ago

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Hypnovember Day 15: Ooze

It has been brought to my attention that there is a Hypnomaster69 out there in the kink world. This story is not about him nor are the characters based on any particular people in the community- they're more amalgamations of several people I have known cobbled together with many a Fetlife poster.

Matt oozed down the hotel hallway, surveying the crowd. He had dressed to impress this hypnocon with his favorite sports coat and some brand new shoes. He waved over at one of his older friends in the corner- a guy he went way back with. Matt was glad to see that there were some good people still around in the community. It had all gotten too PC and self-victimizing lately for him.

Matt couldn’t help but notice this year that there were quite a few female attendees who wouldn’t meet his eye. He hated how the hypnokink community had become so judgmental against men. Matt had never hurt anyone- not without their consent at least. It wasn’t his responsibility that some of these younger girls wanted some fucked up things. Matt had always and only been fulfilling both his and his partners' needs. This was kink, after all, not meditation class. Matt had been around awhile- he knew that people wouldn’t do anything under hypnosis that they didn’t secretly want to do anyway. Matt just freed people from their self-imposed baggage. It wasn’t his fault that some previous partners had figured out that kink wasn’t for them and left the community. Everyone was an adult here.

As Matt walked near the registration table, he noticed a young woman that he had never seen before. She was Asian with long pretty hair. Her Pokemon dress hung loosely on her slim body. She was standing all by herself, looking around nervously.

Maybe con wouldn’t be so bad after all, Matt thought to himself.

He walked over to her and waved.

“Hi! I’m HypnoMaster69! But you can call me Matt. Are you here all by yourself?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m Amy. I just saw that this was happening on the internet and I live close by so I took the chance and showed up. I didn’t know that I needed a different name.” She looked down abashedly at "Amy" written in big letters on her name tag.

Matt laughed, pleased. “Maybe we can find another one for you here. Can I give you a hug?”

“Errr.....sure I guess?” she responded, awkwardly leaning in to the hug.

Matt smiled after letting her go. “I’m glad you aren’t weird about physical touch. This is a VERY touchy community- people sometimes find it off-putting if you’re too frigid about that.”

‘Oh,” said Amy.

“I’m happy that I ran into you!” said Matt. “I don’t really have a lot of plans for this con and I like showing new people around. It can be hard to learn the community ropes sometimes. For example, your badge- did you know that putting all the stickers on the top of your badge like that usually means that you’re a hypnotist?”

Amy’s eyes widened a bit. “It does?”

Matt giggled. “Yeah. You’ll probably have thirsty pathetic men falling at your feet all weekend begging you to hypnotize them. It’ll be hilarious. Don’t worry though- I’ll protect you. I’ve been a hypnotist for decades- people around here respect that and won't mess with me. By the way, have you ever been hypnotized before?”

Amy smiled. “Once or twice” She seemed privately amused by something.

Great, a newbie, Matt thought. ‘Well you’ll have a chance to see and experience all KINDS of things this weekend. You’ll love it. If you’d like, maybe we can play together a bit later on? I’d like to show you what you’re capable of.”

“I think I might like that,” said Amy. “Come to a few classes with me so I can see some things I’d like to try and then we can talk about planning some play. Deal?” She extended her hand for a handshake.

“Deal,” Matt said, also extending his hand.

For a moment, Matt's attention felt diverted somewhere- something was odd.

Matt blinked.

Meh. It probably wasn’t important to think about.

“C’mon, “ said Amy. “Let’s go to the class on anchoring.”

----------------------------------

Matt sat besides Amy all class.

Matt was having a hard time paying attention today. The class was so boring that he felt some of his morning sleepiness again. He had thought he had chased those feelings off with coffee but... apparently not. Matt would have definitely presented this class better. He should have insisted on presenting this year.

Fortunately, feeling bored had given him plenty of time to watch Amy. She seemed really engaged in the class. It was endearing watching her take notes and bounce a little bit when she heard something that excited her. Matt would be sure to show her some anchoring tricks later on that would really blow her subby little mind. If she liked this lecture, she would LOVE all the things he could do.

Fantastically, it turned out that Amy was the kind of touchy that Matt was. She would lean over during class and make comments to him- some that he would pay attention to and some would slide right past him in his boredom. He noticed that sometimes when she was talking or when the presenter said certain things, she would lean over and touch his shoulder lightly. That felt nice. She must really be into him.

At the end of class, Amy let Matt see the knitting needles and wool she had brought to con. It was the kind of girly hobby that he wouldn't have normally been interested in, but Amy's enthusiastic rambling about it was captivating. She spoke about the beauty of repetitive patterns. She said that if there was something it was important for her to think about or focus on, sometimes she would repeat that thing to herself with every stitch as a kind of mindfulness exercise. Sometimes she wasn't even aware of what she was thinking- her brain would just repeat important thoughts over and over with each stitch she made and she could just enjoy how good that felt. She also talked about knitting projects as a metaphor for beauty of social cohesion- all the threads working together for a greater whole. It was certainly an interesting perspective.

At the end of the conversation, Amy gave Matt her knitting needles to hold. They felt good in his hands, somehow. Better than he would have thought.

After the next class, Matt asked if Amy wanted to go back to his room to play. Amy declined, saying she wanted to go to more classes. She had really been enjoying sitting next to him, though. Wouldn't he like to come with her and see another class?

He found that he would.

As the day wore on, Matt was pleased to find that he might have a better reputation than he had originally thought. People, especially women, who hadn't talked to him in years came up to him and Amy to speak to them. Amy apparently already had a bit of a reputation online and had connected with many people over Skype prior to con. Matt was surprised about her popularity. He was also surprised to find how many people wanted to speak to him or give him a hug or touch him on the shoulder. He was still feeling tired and wasn't quite keeping track of all the conversations, but it was nice to feel like a part of the group again. People even responded with enthusiasm to the knitting that he held in his hands- saying that they were happy to see him engaging in a new hobby.

Matt kept going to classes with Amy. He was feeling unusually charitable today and let her pick their schedule. He had already seen everything anyway- and watching Amy was encouraging. It was nice to see old ideas through new eyes.

The last class that Amy wanted to go to that day was the Women in Hypnosis panel. Matt pointed out a note in the schedule that men were encouraged not to attend this class, but Amy had talked to the group leader and they were going to make an exception for Matt. That was really nice of them. Matt was glad that they recognized his expertise.

The Women in Hypnosis class ended up being a bit of a bust. From the time he entered the room, it seemed like so many people were talking at once that it was hard to keep track. Women's voices sometimes took on this droning sound and the effect on Matt was pretty soporific. He had fallen asleep early in the class, only occasionally awakened slightly by a touch on the shoulder or someone saying his name. But during those times Amy, still sitting right next to him, would lean over and whisper in his ear that everything was ok- he didn't need to consciously listen to what was going on. He could just go back to sleep.

Despite the sleepiness he experienced in class, Matt felt really great afterwards. The grogginess had lifted and he felt more positive than he had in years. He also felt much more positive towards the women that had been in the class with him. Matt admitted to himself that he had been kind of a jerk in the community sometimes- ignoring women, making rude comments about trans women, showing female partners a lack of respect- but somehow sitting in that class and actually listening to those women for an hour had done him a world of good and given him a lot to think about.

So much to think about, actually, that he wanted to give himself some proper space to process it. Matt decided that he didn't really need to attend the rest of the convention after all. He had already learned everything anyway and it might do him good to take the rest of the days allotted and just enjoy a normal vacation. He heard that there was a beautiful local park nearby.

When he told Amy about his decision, she hugged him again and told him that she understood. She thanked him for being her companion for the first day of her first ever hypnocon. She even let him keep her knitting needles and yarn to remember her by.

When the next year rolled around, Matt decided that he needed a change. Instead of attending the hypnocon again, he would go to a knitting convention that was being held at the same time. He had gotten really into knitting this last year- it relaxed him and made him feel really good about himself. He had been welcomed into that community with open arms, appreciated as one of the few men who shared the hobby.

Matt also kept up with some of his hypnosis friends, including Amy. They never actually did hypnosis together, but they would often chit chat and knit together on calls. Matt loved to listen to her voice as she excitedly talked about knitting projects or kink or other things that were going on in her life. Her life seemed to be going really well. He reflected that his life was going well too. He was so happy to have met Amy at hypnocon last year.

What a fortunate coincidence.

#hypnovember #probably a nicer ending than this character deserved #but I'm all for rehabilitation #characters are not directly based on actual people but are amalgamations of traits #hypnocons #the ole switcheroo

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d3adguyy · 5 years ago

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ok so this headcanon/au list is weeks of me randomly writing down stuff. (i may make a list of some more uh... nsfw headcanons later on, but idk)

also, some of these aus are very dumb and unrealistic, but whatever, so

there is no beetlebabes shipping in this at all. don’t even try. the only shipping is charles/delia (do they have an official ship name?) and adam/barbara/beetlejuice, which is beetlelands and/or goldenrat!

(some of these are very unrealistic/basically just me projecting but this is my list and i’ll Do What I Want)

also, fuck formatting, i’m too lazy

- au where higher powered demons/ghouls have wings. naturally, beetlejuice has them and he is a fucking disaster. he knocks shit over, gets them caught on everything, and will knock people over. (somehow, they’re the only thing that’s actually clean)

- au in which the netherworld had a more lasting effect on lydia, and causes her to have sort of “fainting” spells (there’s a whole long and convoluted explanation but i’m too lazy to type it out.) since this is obviously bad for multiple reasons, beej turns into a “service” dog to help her at school (the fact that he knows lydia is being bullied may have influenced his decision)

- lydia and beetlejuice share one, very very damaged brain cell between them. they’re both smart in their own ways, but the second they try and solve something together? nothing. they usually end up almost going through with a stupid scheme until someone stops them last minute

- they may not have a dog, but (big) sandy the sandworm is just as happy to play fetch

- they also have a “girls” night once a week, in which they watch crappy horror movies, paint their nails, talk shit about people, and beetlejuice gushes complains about the maitlands

- bj can actually speak quite a few languages (he’s been around quite a long time, after all) however, he chooses to hide this fact until a time where he can a) freak someone out or b) show off

- bj follows lydia to school occasionally and will either make snide comments about the other students, or tell lydia what they’re doing on their phones (lydia sometimes hears things she wishes she had never known)

- lydia and beetlejuice stay “married”, but only in a convinient way (financial aid and tax benefits ftw, beetlebabes fuck off)

- beetlejuice plays the ukulele (as shown in the musical) and you can sometimes hear him playing on the roof (if he sees anyone listening he’ll immediately stop and go pink and disappear)

- bj and lydia go to pride every year, and Fuck Shit Up in a (mostly) legal way. once the maitlands figure out how to leave the house, they accompany them and let loose and join them in their chaos. delia eventually starts coming as well. charles stays home to preserve his sanity.

- beetlejuice figures out the maitlands can leave the house so long as they have a piece of it with them, and so makes them bracelets with wood from the house. they’re both extremely happy and grateful.

- beetlejuice and miss argentina are pals, and hung out together when beej used to spend all of his time in the underworld (he still pops by to visit her occasionally, and even helped her with the backlash/work after juno died)

- au where it’s now book of mormon, and lydia and bj are paired up for a mission. chaos ensues. (don’t ask me how this one would work, because i honestly don’t know.)

- lydia has a sleepover at her house with school friends. one of them brings a ouija board. beej and the maitlands decided to have time fun with it, and lydia tries not to crack up watching them.

- delia and beetlejuice are friends (bc they lowkey have a decent amnt in common ngl) and delia will occasionally join in on beej & lyds’ schemes

- delia treats beej like a son due to him acting like lydia’s crazy and feral (yet very loving and overprotective) older brother. charles doesn’t get it, but it makes her happy so he goes along with it.

- just like beej and lyds have “girls night”, delia, barbara, and beetlejuice have something similar where they drink wine, gossip about the neighborhood moms, and watch shitty reality tv and yell at the screen. charles tried to interrupt once and got a bottle of wine thrown at him (courtesy of delia)

- beetlejuice and lydia are Trans As Fuck (lydia’s lesbian and beej is pan) the maitlands are both bi, delia is pan and charles is Straight.

- souleater au where lydia is the meister and bj is her weapon

- beetlejuice has a love of all things circus. (he’s surprisingly good at trapeze, and not-so-surprisingly good at fire eating and breathing)

- beej has a big fat crush on the maitlands, but him being the emotionally stunted demon he is, has absolutely no idea how to express this

- the maitlands suspect that bj is crushing on them, but they aren’t completely sure (they still think he’s adorable, though)

- beej loves cuddling. that’s it, that’s the headcanon. he is a very touchy person (and not just in a perverted way.) he and lydia can be seen cuddling in bed binging horror movies, and bj is known to get comfy on the couch that is definitely not big enough for both him and the maitlands. (also, beej loves being the little spoon.)

- lydia and delia share a very niche interest in astrology, and it’s probably one of the only things they have in common. (delia still loves lydia and lydia loves her too, even if she would never admit it)

- au where lydia dies in some accident, and beetlejuice pulls a bunch of strings to make her a demon. he now has to train her to use her newly gained powers. (to make her a demon, they had to be related, so he adopts her as his younger sister)

- to mash together the au above and the wing au from the top of the list, one day lydia starts growing wings and beetlejuice couldn’t be prouder.

- the maitlands have really dumb (but cute) nicknames for beetlejuice (gummyworm, teddy bear, marshmallow, etc. they occasionally call him lawrence, which makes him melt.) lydia has borderline insulting nicknames for bj (trash man, hobo, stinky bastard, etc.) and charles and delia just call him random variations of his name (mr. juice, beetleman, mr. beetle, etc. they will use his full name if he does something too chaotic, and it’s then he knows to run)

(i just lost a bunch of headcanons and aus because tumblr unexpectedly closed :( i’m gonna try my best to re-write them all. i’m also grouping all the aus together before i re-write the headcanons, so get ready lol)

- pjo au!

• lydia is a daughter of persephone, and starts attending camp at age 12 (persephone doesn’t actually have a kid with charles, she just lends her magic to lydia’s mom in order for them to have a kid, as she actively was a worshipper of persephone, and that ends up making lydia a half blood.)

• beetlejuice was a son of hectate, but died after performing wayyyy too many rituals to increase his magic, and it eventually got too much to control and the strain killed him. he keeps his powers when he dies though. (he got banished from the underworld and was tied to a living soul for as long as they lived - it was lydia, so now they Fuck Shit Up together. hades regrets his choice of punishment.)

• barbara is a daughter of harmonia

• adam is a son of hephaestus

• delia is a legacy of eros

barbara and adam are instructors at camp halfblood (barbara teaching pottery and adam teaching woodworking)

they take lydia under their wing when they notice she doesn’t really have friends, and so they eventually meet beetlejuice (he has a Big Crush on them but refuses to do anything about it. for now.)

- hunger games au time! (at this point i’m just doing aus of all of the old young adult series i used to read)

• beetlejuice and lydia were the tributes chosen from district 12 (with beetlejuice volunteering to protect lydia during the games)

• their mentor is juno, who is an asshole and is utterly useless, as she doesn’t think they have any chance

• the maitlands are a couple that live in the capitol, even if they really don’t agree with the morals and lifestyle. they are huge sponsors for bj and lyds during the games.

• beej and lyds are the last ones standing, and after all the trouble that beetlejuice has made the capitol go through during the games, they decide it isn’t worth it to try and kill them, so they both win.

• the maitlands secretly take in both of them after the games

• charles flips houses and delia is an artist, they know about the maitlands and help keep the secret

- time for the divergent au nobody asked for!

• lydia was born erudite and transferred dauntless (she could’ve stayed erudite as well)

• beetlejuice was born dauntless and stayed (he did have an aptitude for amity, but he’ll take that to the grave)

• barbara was born erudite and transferred amity

• adam was born abnegation and transferred amity

• charles was born erudite and stayed

• delia was born amity and transferred erudite (she had aptitude for candor as well)

beej is lydia’s trainer when she joins dauntless, and they become inserperable during and after training. (lydia graduates top of her class - she would’ve despite beetlejuice, but it didn’t hurt to have him)

(taking some liberties here and making it so that factions can interact with each other outside of school and mandatory events, however intermarriage and dating between factions is a no no)

the maitlands find beetlejuice doing Stupid Shit in the woods near amity. this happens a few times, with bj and lyds running away each time, until they finally catch them and they all meet.

the maitlands take lyds under their wing, but don’t know what to think about beetlejuice (they secretly adore him, but won’t be telling him that anytime soon. bj has a Humongous Crush on them, and tells them. eventually. they end up dating despite the illegality of it)

the deetzes end up finding out about the dating, and keep it secret, even though hey aren’t particularly fond of beej. yet.

- and now time for a warrior cats au. time to bring up those repressed memories :)

(ok so again, more liberties, cats can choose to join another clan when they become apprentices, and the clans interact a lot more outside of meetings and battles. also the only one i have a warrior name for is beetlejuice, because his would literally just be Beetlejuice)

• beetlejuice was born a loner and eventually joined shadow clan as an apprentice

• lydia was born thunder clan and transferred to shadow clan, and was chosen to be a medicine cat

• barbara would be river clan and stay there

• adam would be thunder clan and transfer to river clan to be with barbs

• charles and delia were both born and stayed in thunder clan

beej is lyd’s mentor for non-medicine cat stuff (as shadow clan teaches their med cats to fight, and i feel like they would get all of the same training normal apprentices did, such as hunting)

lyds and the maitlands get along and hang out a lot, and beetlejuice just kinda trails along. yet again he has a crush on them. however, he minimizes his time with them so that they don’t find reasons to dislike him (in his eyes)

- ok so we’ve done one cat au, time for a much more niche one! this one is based on the book claws, by mike and rachel grinti. (it’s a middle school level book for sure, but i picked it up sometime in elementary school and i still love it now that i’m older)

• beej as jack (although he still has magic, his magic is just super chaotic and hard to control) lyds as emma, and they go on a quest for how lydia’s mom died (something to do with the faries)

• beetlejuice only agrees to do the quest because he wants a friend, which was really the whole reason behind giving lydia the heart.

• the maitlands are part of the pride that lyds takes over. they were wary of her at first, but backed her up when she needed it. they warmed up to her quickly after that, and they take her under their wing to show her the ropes of how prides work

beej continues to hang out with lydia, but isn’t really accepted by the pride for the most part, with the maitlands being the closest to being his friends. this eventually changes, and they grow closer over time.

- small httyd au: lydia is a viking, her dad is a high ranking official, her mom killed in a dragon raid, delia still does art ig.

• the maitlands are dragons, and lydia befriends them. she later befriends another dragon, beetlejuice. she eventually teaches the villiage dragons are good and all that jazz.

- ok back to headcanons now: adam rescued injured wildlife when he was alive, and that hasn’t stopped now that he’s dead. a section of the roof is dedicated to little habitats/enclosures for injured animals, so that they can rest up and heal

- although she isn’t so good at rescuing animals like adam is, barbara still loves animals. (beetlejuice will turn into different animals so that he has an excuse to cuddle her)

- bj secretly enjoys how vanilla/naive the maitlands can be, and thinks it’s really cute

- beetlejuice is actually pretty good at cooking, and will make dinner for him and the maitlands on date night. (he also cooks comfort food for people when they’re upset)

- bj is an internet troll. that’s it that’s the headcanon.

- beetlejuice wasn’t born or anything, juno just kinda made him by accident, and that’s why she hates him so much. so, one day beetlejuice just came into existence, a full 5ft 8inches of pure chaos.

this headcanon is a bit odd for me, because it changes depending on the story/plot i’m thinking about, so i’m now reintroducing the trans headcanons so i can explain how it would work.

he presented as female for a while before saying “fuck that” and coming out. he would’ve done it sooner, but seeing as he just started existing one day, it took a bit for him to realize that not wanting to be the gender he was born as just Wasn’t Normal. idk if the netherworld has hrt, but im basing my version of it more off the cartoon, in which people have like houses and lives, i’m assuming it exists, so he got hrt surgery n shit

on the other side, when this headcanon doesn’t apply, he was about 16 when he came out, his parents said Fuck That because he was growing up pretty far in the past (idk exact time period, but trans people were a big No No) and he ended up offing himself. he ends up altering his appearance or going through hrt/surgery in the netherworld.

- in a human au, because i just thought of thi, he’d come out at age 16 still, and juno, shitty parent she is, kicks him out. the deetzes take him in, with lydia being about 14ish, and the maitlands are their tenants who become the second set of parents. (lydia is trans in human au)

- continuing the trans hc, lydia and her parents suspected when she was about 9ish, and so after having it confirmed by multiple doctors and specialists, was put on blockers until she could start hrt at 16. it’s a very happy day when she turns 16 and beetlejuice definitely doesn’t cry

- beetlejuice has a phobia of water and that’s one reason why he doesn’t shower (the maitlands eventually help him deal with it enough to be able to shower/bathe occasionally, because he still does like his trashy look)

- bj does drag. lydia and delia help him with makeup and clothing.

- beej also worked as a male stripper for a time at dante’s inferno in the netherworld. he’s amazing at pole dancing, and he can walk like a pro in heels.

- also, because heels autocorrected to heelys st first, beej owns heelys and will zoom around the house in them. lydia eventually buys a pair for herself and they Go Crazy

i think that’ll end off this list for now, as it’s gotten pretty long. there’s a good chance i’ll make another one in the future, but for now, thats all folks!

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alecthemovieguy · 5 years ago

Text

Being Nicole

‘Supergirl’ star Nicole Maines’ passion for transgender rights makes her super in real life, too

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of the Mount Washington Valley’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Maines, who is turning 22 on Oct. 7, became the center of the precedent-setting Maine Supreme Judicial Court case Doe v. Regional School Unit 26 regarding gender identity and bathroom use in schools. Maines had been barred from using the female bathroom after a complaint, but the court ruled that denying a transgender student access to the bathroom consistent with their gender identity is unlawful.

In 2018, Maines debuted as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television’s first transgender superhero, on “Supergirl.” She is returning as a series regular for season five which premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 9 p.m. on The CW.

One Book One Valley has a series of events throughout October culminating in an evening with “Becoming Nicole” author Amy Ellis Nutt on Thursday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. at Loynd Auditorium at Kennett High School in North Conway, N.H. In addition to Nutt, the plan is to have the Maines family be part of the discussion through a Skype connection.

I recently talked with Maines about growing up transgender, activism, privilege and the upcoming season of “Supergirl.”

“Becoming Nicole” is beautifully written, but it is very journalistic and academic in its approach. Is there anything you would’ve done differently or included in telling that story?

I don’t know. I think, of course, Amy did a phenomenal job, and I am so happy with how the book came out because I think it really does have something for everyone, whether or not you’re just starting to learn about transitioning and you’re looking for something new. But there was so much that had to be cut out in the final editing process and, unfortunately, a lot of what did get cut out was original writing from Jonas’ perspective. I don’t know if it was something I would’ve done differently, I think it is more of a shame that it couldn’t make it into the final cut. It was just so long before it was cut. So, I do hope at some point people do get to see that because it is really, really beautiful.

In “Becoming Nicole,” a therapist told your parents that you weren’t transgender because you were peeing standing up. What are some other examples you’ve encountered of misinformation about what transgender is?

Where do I even begin? So many people think that it is one of those things that you can kind of slap a label on and say, “This is what this is,” and with something as expansive as gender it is really impossible to paint it as very black and white. So many people have tried to say “Oh, all trans people look like this. This is how you spot a trans person.” And that’s 1) offensive, and 2) not true or realistic.

I think a lot of that has to do with how historically we are represented in the media: men in dresses and this and that. It is so much more expansive than that. No one group of people looks a certain way, and it is dangerous to try to categorize people like that. So, I think besides the peeing standing up, which is ridiculous, what is equally ridiculous is the idea that some people think that they can spot a trans person, and that’s sort of the whole basis of their argument.

You know how sometimes you read certain blogs or you read certain Twitter accounts just to make yourself mad? I stumbled across one, it was a really popular TERF account — which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminists, which is pretty much feminists who believe trans women aren’t women, and they use recycled rhetoric from the ’70s saying that trans women are just men trying to invade women’s spaces and stupid shit like that. It was this person going on and on about, like, “Oh, none of you pass. None of you look like women. Yada yada yada.” And I was like, 1) no room to talk because her haircut was atrocious, and 2) come say it to my face. It really made me mad. It is atrocious that people think they can spot something like that. It is ridiculous.

It is kind of like the back-handed compliment that I receive a lot, that is “Oh, you don’t look trans,” or “Oh, never really would’ve guessed.” A lot of the time, I try not to jump on people for that because I know it is coming from a place where they’re trying to give me a compliment, but what does trans look like? What did you think I was going to look like?

And, of course, everyone thinks that we are supposed to look like men in dresses, which — even if we did — is rude as hell to say something like that because, not only is that stupid, but it is also reinforcing negative beauty standards among women, not just trans women, but women. Because you hear about the bathroom bills and they are like, “Oh, we are going to enforce no trans people in bathrooms.” Well, how are you going to enforce that? And then you get cases of cis women getting kicked out of the bathrooms because they look more masculine than others. Even for cisgender women that is not a black and white line. People look different, and it is totally unfair and unreasonable to say just because someone has harder features than somebody else that this is what is going on in your pants. That feels like a wild, crazy assumption to me.

So, obviously your father always loved you, but he struggled with your identity. Was there a specific moment when you finally felt truly seen by him?

I know a lot of moments where he really started having light bulb moments. I think for me, one of the first moments where I felt like I started being seen was when I started wearing girl’s clothes to school. My transition started going there slowly, but between second and third grade I had gone from wearing longer hair to wearing girl’s clothes all the time. I don’t know if it was even just my father, but by everyone, but that is when I started feeling like I was being seen. Then in fifth grade was when I had fully transitioned. I was allowed to pierce my ears and I was allowed to wear skirts and dresses. That really felt like I am seen. And then, of course, when my father finally started fighting for me. Because I knew, at that point, he still didn’t fully understand, but when he started defending me and defending my transition and my using the girl’s bathroom, I felt like I had him on my side.

I love last season of “Supergirl.” One of my favorite moments was when Nia Nal/Dreamer publicly announced herself as both an alien and a transgender woman because it put a positive face on a group who were being demonized in the show. How important do you think it is to give a face to marginalized people?

It is incredibly important. The best way to fight against marginalization and the most effective way that we fight back against people who are trying to erase us is with visibility. When you have an administration who, for incidents in a crazy hypothetical, removed me from the 2020 census, then the best way to combat that is to be more visible than ever. By saying, OK, you’re trying to make people think that we are not valid, you’re trying to make people think we don’t exist and that we are not solid and valid in our identities and our existence. Well, then we are going to show you that we are. We are going to show you: no, you cannot ignore us because we are here and it doesn’t really matter what you believe. It doesn’t really matter if you say, “Well, I don’t really believe in transgender.” Well, it isn’t really something for you to believe in because whether you like it or not, we are here. We exist and that’s not a matter of opinion. You do not get to choose whether or not my identity is valid because I am not doing it for you and we are not going to let you erase that. So, I think visibility is the number one method of defense against erasure.

Based on the trailer, the new season of “Supergirl” partially deals with the betrayal and anger Lena Luthor feels toward Carol Danvers hiding her identity of Supergirl from her. This seems like an apt metaphor for the similar sense of betrayal, hurt and confusion some people feel when a loved one comes out as trans or gay. Do you think that is intentional?

I don’t know if it was intentional. I think because there are so many different layers with Carol and Lena’s relationship, and especially with the Kryptonian-Luthor relationship. I think it is hard to boil it down to just that, because I get why Lena is upset and I get why those feelings are floating around, but personally, I’m kind of like nobody owes any facet of their identity to anybody but themselves. If they did not feel that they wanted to share a part of their identity with you, you don’t get to be mad about that. That is something that belongs entirely to them and if they did not choose, for whatever reason to disclose that part of themselves, that’s not because you necessarily did anything wrong, that’s because they had a choice and that’s not necessarily on them either. But, like I said, it is different between being trans and being a superhero. It is hard because, at the same time, it is like, “Oh, you were treating me like Lex, and I’m not Lex. You can trust me.” So, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff floating around, but I don’t know if it was a 100 percent intentional, but there are definitely connections.

That’s the great thing about sci-fi is that it can always be used as a metaphor for exploring social issues.

Absolutely.

How will Nia Nal be challenged in the new season?

The theme of this season is communication, and so something Nia is struggling with the first chunk of the season is communicating with how she feels with Brainiac because they’ve been dating and they have been having communication issues. Neither of them are the best at relationships, and so this is kind of a new area for her and she’s trying to work out, “How do I express how I feel without hurting you?” And that’s something she struggles with a lot. It is being open and honest with how she’s feeling and trying not to bottle up what she is feeling for the sake of other people.

What I also really love about Nia Nal is when she puts herself out there — kind of going off the whole thing of passing — she does pass as both a human and a woman, and so she doesn’t need to put herself out there, but by doing so she empowers others. Do you also try to lead by example in your own life?

Absolutely, I recognize 100 percent as Nia and as Nicole that I have an insane amount of privilege. I’m white and, like you said, I pass and I’m on TV. And I mention that I am on TV because when we look at issues like HB2 and we look at bathroom bills and stuff like that, that is not necessarily going to affect me as someone who passes and as someone who is in Vancouver. I’m working in Vancouver, HB2 will not affect me. I am not there. But I recognize that there are issues that are affecting members of my community who don’t have the same significant platform that I do. And so it is my responsibility as a member of that community, as someone with that platform, to lift them up and to start to shine a light on issues that are affecting members of my community, even if I personally will not feel the impact of that harmful legislation.

It is important and that’s what we talk about in feminist circles. We are always talking about how can people with privilege use that privilege to lift others up, to better the situation of others who don’t have those some privileges. We ask that of men, we ask that of white people, we ask that of abled-body people, of trans women who pass. We ask that people use their privilege responsibly. And so that is what I try to do and I hope that I am succeeding. I just try to use my platform and use my voice to talk about issues that I feel matter.

Going back to “Becoming Nicole,” the book discusses “The Little Mermaid” as a metaphor for being transgender because Ariel doesn’t feel she belongs in the ocean and everyone tells her you have to be with your own people blah, blah, blah. Ariel was one of your favorite characters growing up, do you feel even at a young age you were drawn to this character because your struggle paralleled her struggle?

I guess subconsciously, yes, but on a surface level, I liked mermaids. I don’t know why I liked it so much and that’s why I say subconsciously I was drawn to it. I remember loving that more than anything else. I loved everything about her. I remember I was like, “That is what I want for myself.” I was like, “She is so beautiful, and she is so graceful,” which is not a trait that I’ve been able to replicate in my own life. I remember being so drawn to her, and I was like “Mom, Dad, that is what we are going for. That is the look.” Between her and, I’ve said it before, Storm from the X-Men. I remember watching “X-Men: The Animated Series” as as kid and she had that hair and the cape and was like “Oh, that’s drama. I love it.”

And now you have your own cape.

Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t have a superhero cape. I feel a little cheated.

Well, maybe you can get one.

No, I have the best supersuit. It is shiny and holographic. It is awesome.

One part I really liked in “Becoming Nicole,” I think it was before you were going to enter fifth grade, you were asked what kind of story you’d tell and you said it would be this mystery/comedy/fantasy with a sassy character and a sidekick who was even sassier. If you were to write that story now what do you think it would look like?

Oh my God. Well, it would definitely have the sassy character and the sassier sidekick, because I remember growing up I was always the biggest fan of the sassy comic relief characters, which is why I tried to play that role in my own regular life, which took some getting used to. I remember in middle school people didn’t exactly get the whole me trying-to-be-funny and I think it just came across as annoying. If I was going to write that story now, I think it would absolutely be about murder that would be the mystery. The comedy that would manifest itself in probably macabre, offbeat humor about murder. And then the fantasy ... they are all vampires. I’m just describing “Bit.”

I haven’t been able to find anyway to watch “Bit” (which stars Maines as a transgender teen who falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid Los Angeles' streets of predatory men), but I am very interested in that film. What was it like making that?

It was so amazing and I hope you’ll be able to watch soon. Right now, it is making its festival rounds, and hoping someone will choose to distribute it, and we’re like, “Pay us, please!” It was so incredible. Everyone on set was amazing and our writer/director Brad Michael Elmore is the coolest dude on the planet. I was talking about using our privilege to tell stories that matter and to raise up minority voices, and that’s absolutely what he did in this situation. I know a lot of the festivals we have gone to have been feminist festivals and gay festivals, and we’ve had a significant amount of people kind of be like, “Oh, you were written by a straight cis white guy,” and we’re like,“Yeah, and he’s doing exactly what we want him to be doing, which is using his privilege to create this super awesome movie featuring queer and interracial talent, this intersectional group of feminists.” We had a female DP which how awesome is that? We had this super awesome kaleidoscope of different identities in this film and I feel like some folks are very quick to write it off because it was written by a straight cis white guy. 1) I don’t feel that is fair to Brad, and 2) I don’t think that is fair to the movie. The movie is so cool and the movie deals with such cool issues and it approaches them all in such a fucking awesome way. To write it off because of who our director is feels very shortsighted.

And obviously you wouldn’t say or do anything that felt disingenuous to your own experience.

Yes, absolutely. I was like, “Ye of little faith.”

When you were 13 years old you went to the Maine statehouse and spoke to dozens of representatives to convince them to vote against a bill that would make it legal to discriminate against trans people. Do you have any interest in getting into politics either working for a campaign or as a candidate yourself?

I think I would be willing to support someone else’s campaign. Politics are not for me. I do not have the stomach for that. I do not have the patience for that. I know where my lane is and it is absolutely not going for an elected position. I am more the person who shows up when the politicians are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. That’s when I get involved.

The big thing I took away from “Becoming Nicole” was that prejudice and hate is something that is taught, because the boy who started harassing you the most was told by his grandfather that you were wrong and that he should go after you. And so I guess the question is, what do you do to undo these wrongheaded lessons that are passed down by parents or grandparents?

I think the first step comes from within. You cannot make anybody do anything. You cannot make somebody unlearn hate and prejudice. That journey has to start with themselves. With my father — and, of course, he was never outwardly hateful or anything, I always knew he loved me — but his journey to acceptance started with him deciding to pick up Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book (about being a transgender woman) and read it. He had to ask himself what he was so afraid of if his son was his daughter. He had to ask himself what about that terrified him so much. And that’s what every person has to do.

Every person has to be aware of their own prejudices and their own biases. We all have them. We have to be aware of them. We have to actively work to undo them because it is something we are taught, not even just by our parents or caretakers, but through television and society. We are pumped full of biases and prejudices that we are not even aware of, and so we have to pay extra care and extra caution to do undo those. And when we catch ourselves, we have to recognize, “No, that’s not right” and go from there.

It has to be a conscious choice, and so that is hard. It is a hard thing to do. It is a really gross feeling to try to unlearn stuff like that, and so a lot of people won’t do that because a lot of people are more comfortable being like, “No, I don’t get it, that’s gross, I don’t like it and I’m going to hate it.” That is much easier and much more comfortable then asking yourself what you are afraid of. As socially responsible participants in the community, we have a responsibility to ask that question anyway. All of us have to ask that question and not just about trans issues, because if we don’t do that, if we are looking for what is easy and what is comfortable at the expense of other people, then stay inside.

And I feel like the biggest thing is if you’re afraid of a gay person or trans person or black, Hispanic, whatever social issue, if you actually talk to these people that you are afraid of, that you’d see that they are just human beings.

That is the number one thing. It is so much easier to marginalize a group of people when you are not putting names to faces, when we are not putting faces to groups, when you are dehumanizing them. It is so much easier to sweep their plights under the rug and be like, “Oh, they don’t matter,” because you are not talking to them, you’re not seeing them as people. That’s why I always say, “Come say it to my face.” It is so much harder to be an asshole to someone’s face because you have to look them in the eye and tell them their rights don’t matter.

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