#Oh gosh took me 3 days to write my thoughts out on this haha...

[ajortga]

always for you

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

thank you for your support! honestly i'm so so grateful you guys like my writing<3 this was from a request that i loved making, (especially the texting part.) requests are packed! theres so many more so i won't be checking inboxes till i'm finished with the majority of them! to whomever requested, i hope you like this!

-

can I request another soft!jenna x r?? I know your requests are closed, and you can do this anytime if your free. I can wait.

Where r's phone is acting up but doesn't want to buy a new phone cause r is broke, jenna sees r struggle with the lag and buys r a new phone

-

(shes so cute)

Jenna always thought you were too thoughtful and selfless, you always thought of others before yourself, you gave love to every person you possibly could before you could even love yourself.

You gifted Jenna the new black noise canceling headphones for Christmas, you loved music as much as she did. But even with your immense love, you still managed to have wired earphones, though they were tangled almost everyday. 

There was a day the brunette noticed the way your phone had been acting up. She won’t mention how you dropped it in the bathtub while trying to give your cat a bath, and she’ll leave out how it somehow didn’t crack the numerous times you dropped it on the table or carpet. But whenever she texted you, you’d take longer to respond, apologizing endlessly.

“goodmorning my love! my phone was glitching again, it keeps bringing me back to this stupid dancing vegetable i put on for nephew cash last week. It took me a while to finally get back to messages! i'm sorry:((.”

“oh my god it did it again, now it’s a piece of radish dancing”

Sometimes you’d respond halfway and then stop there too cause your phone would crash

"y/nnnn, baby, i used the damn salt for our cookies instead of sugar and i put so much and i wanted to make a pickup line for you. i was literally pretending you were there and said "you're as sweet as a cookie" and i bit into it and it tasted so salty and i coughed so much"

“HAHA oh my gosh your like the silliest person i know, you literally remind me of-”"

10 minutes later

“MY PHONE CRASHED AGAIN”

“it did it again, it kept bringing me to different tabs so i had to get back in here. baby i can’t even talk to you properly anymore, i think we should-”

25 minutes later

“THE DANCING VEGETABLE IS ON MY SCREEN AGAIN”

"jenna? are you there?"

"i amm here"

"IT'S FRUIT NOW"

"baby 😭"

-

She did talk to you about getting a phone, she knew that you wanted to spend your money on others until yourself. You saved a little portion for yourself, so your portion made you a little broke. But you insisted that if it still worked and was helping the way it was supposed to, it would be okay.

It was funny to her, she would try charging both your phones before you snuggled to sleep together, but she always struggled on charging your phone because it wouldn’t charge.

You could hear her grunting as she cursed under her breath, “You have to use the first charging port and twist it at an 80 degree angle to the right, the phone has to be facing up.”

As it finally charged, she made a small sigh and smiled as she looked at you, softly saying, “You’re always too thoughtful Y/N, there’ll be one day where life will give it all back to you.”

You nuzzled into her chest, “As long as I can make others happy, that’s all I need to make myself happy,” you said drowsily as you rested on her chest. She kissed your forehead as you dozed off, cradling you to sleep.

-

The next day, Jenna got up so early and unattached herself from your grasp, making you make a small noise as you subconsciously looked for her embrace.

The bed creaked as you made a small murmur, looking up at Jenna barely awake.

You yawned, really sleepy, “Where are you going??” You said sadly, a little tired pout forming.

You sounded so drowsy as Jenna giggled, kissing your temple, “I need to pick up some strawberries, we need some pancakes for our breakfast and some other goodies sunshine. It’ll be packed in the afternoon, it’ll be quick, I promise.”

You made a sad noise, your hands reaching up for her and scrunching her arms as she hugged you, taking her giant stuffed animal and letting you hold it.

Soon enough from her scent on the stuffy, you were asleep, snuggling it.

Jenna changed into a sweater, jeans, and wore her headphones you gave her as she was off.

She was going to buy you that phone, no matter what you said.

Her footsteps crunched against the leaves as she listened to her music, getting a new idea as a proud smile sneaked on her lips.

She entered the electronic store, buying you the latest white phone that she had as well. She also went to the head gear section and bought you Sony headphones, a white one that would look so pretty on you. Her fingers signed the signature as she payed with her card, buying you guys two matching phone cases with two black cats on them.

Two hours later she came home, opening your bedroom door as she walked in.

“Y/N, sunshine, I’m here,” she whispered as you made a small murmur again, opening your eyes.

“Mhh…”

A small grin appears on her face as she shows you the new phone and headphones as you stare.

You were so tired you stared at it in disbelief and confusion.

Then you looked at her, your eyes teary as you pouted, “Baby.. Why? You didn’t have to-”

“You deserve it, you always think about me and all your friends hardly before yourself. And you deserve the world. I want you to be able to use your phone and those headphones. I like seeing you happy.”

Your pout turned into a wide smile as you pulled her collar to your level and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to do that for me," you said, your voice happy as you nuzzle into her, not wanting to let go.

“Always.”

“I love you.”

Jenna smiles, her soft lips pressing to your temple, "I love you too."

--

[amariemelody]

Y’know, seeing Baby Yoda able to eat with a spoon got me thinking about a whole new angle on Din removing his helmet...

Baby Yoda is, well...a baby, possibly specifically a toddler (he, well...toddles!). And Season 1 showed us that as far as motor skills to feed himself, he’s able to sip soup out of a regular cup; reach for, hold down, and bring frogs to his mouth; and bring the silver lever ball (which isn’t food, but still) to his mouth as well.

Next in Season 2, we see Baby Yoda have the motor skills to reach into Mrs. Frog Lady’s egg canister (?), grasp an egg (which had to at least be slippery if not just plain wet), lean back from the canister, and pop it into his mouth. He’s also opened up a spider egg and...yeah. That.

And now we have Season 2, Chapter 11 showing us that Baby Yoda seems to be able to feed himself with a spoon-an eating utensil that, I think, requires more motor skill from a toddler.

So if he has the motor skills to feed himself via an eating utensil...then that means Din hardly has to actually feed Baby Yoda himself at all, outside of procuring and/or preparing the food.

So then if Din learns to be comfortable removing his helmet...he could conceivably eat with his son. At least in the privacy of the Razor Crest.

I thought of this bc one thing that struck me in Season 1 is that it seems that Din goes hours without eating. He doesn’t eat even when other people eat around and/or with him (i.e, buying the soup for Cara Dune, the campfire meal with Greef Karga and the other bounty hunters, etc.).

I realize this is part of why Chapter 4 is one of my favorites-Omera and possibly some of the other villagers seem to make sure Din eats regularly with very few hours in-between. Sorgan feels comfortable in part bc there appears to be an abundance of food in and around the village, and Din likely doesn’t have to wait so long to have access to privacy to consume said food.

And on a side note, I’m not saying Din usually waiting hours to eat implies that man doesn’t eat and surely eat as well as he can. Lord knows he’s got muscle mass to keep up; re-hydration for all the water he loses thru sweat (even if the armor may have a cooling system); brain function for that cunning strategizing; and general weight and good health to do the work that he does.

Mandalorian training and pure grit are both awesome, but you also need food.

But...he doesn’t eat with others. Not even is own son, if we go with the assumption that he’s yet to remove his helmet in front of Baby Yoda.

Baby Yoda’s motor skill with the spoon stood out to me bc that eliminates another possible roadblock to Din eating with him besides his helmet-that is, he doesn’t have to worry about hand-feeding his son before he feeds himself. I know a lot of parents with very young infants all but instinctively feed their children before they even think to sit down to their own meal. And Din certainly has such instinctual parental feelings for his own son.

But he doesn’t have to hand-feed Baby Yoda and now we’re at a point in Season 2 where it’s been introduced to Din that he can remove his helmet and still be Mandalorian.

He could eat with his son.

There’s a lot of good words written about how the communal sense of eating with others is good for bonding, socialization, emotional and mental health, etc. I’m not diagnosing Din as inherently unhealthy in those areas, but he’s given up the benefit of that communal sense for about 20-30 years now.

I’d love to see him re-learn it with Baby Yoda. Possibly allowing himself to make an exception for his ad’ika for the practical (to him) purpose of eating. And you can’t tell me Baby Yoda wouldn’t absolutely love it:

Daddy has another face! And it has a mouth! So that’s where his voice comes from!! I’m gonna pat his mouth every time he talks bc it’s so cool!! (Cue Din being unable to stop smiling when he does that and pressing little kisses to Baby Yoda’s little palms...) 

Daddy puts food in his mouth just like I do! I’m gonna start feeding him, too! Sharing my food is nice! (Cue Din not having the heart to say “no”.)

Just like me, sometimes Daddy has to burp when we’re eating! He says “excuse me” after, but it’s just a funny sound to me!

But unlike me, Daddy usually chews his food instead of swallowing it whole. Maybe he needs me to tear it up into smaller pieces...hmm, no. He still chews...smaller, then...

There’s so much potential of cuteness, sweetness...the whole nine yards. So much extra bonding between father and son.

[tonberry-yoda]

Ok I know this is a LOT but I’m willing to wait months for this request haha. Can you pretty please with a cherry on top do the entire fluff alphabet for Nanami kento? 🎂

Oh my goodness, anon, I would never make you wait months for something like this lol I absolutely love Nanami with my entire heart and soul he is my favorite character in Jujutsu Kaisen, so thank you so so so so much for this request, lovely! I hope you have an awesome day and enjoy the fluff alphabet!! <333

Fluff Alphabet with Kento Nanami

Pairing - Kento Nanami x reader

Warnings - none!

Word Count - 3,288

Notes - inspired by this post. anon, i really hope you enjoy this, it took a long while to write, but i loved every second of it! have an amazing day!! <33333

And don’t forget, REQUESTS ARE OPEN! So if you want to request any writing, please don’t hesitate to ask, but please read my pinned post before requesting! Please enjoy!! Don’t forget to stay hydrated! <3

A ctivities - what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?

Nanami doesn't get a lot of downtime since he just loves to overwork himself [smh], but when he does, it is usually because you force him to. You would have to get this man's day off for him and be like uh-oh, they didn't schedule you in today, that's too bad.

I think he would love a self care day. He would love taking long baths with you and drinking wine and tea and just spending his time at home with you. Lots of holding each other on the couch and eating a lot of food.

But even on a regular work day, I think he would love getting ready with you in the morning. He loves a good morning routine, so to see you there too makes him fall in love all over again. Making breakfast for each other, giving goodbye kisses, he's a sucker for it all.

He also loves cooking and baking with you. It doesn't take super long and he just loves the little room there is in the kitchen so he can be pressed close to you whenever you're cooking with him.

I also think he would like Frisbee golf(???) don't quote me on that, but I think he would really love playing Frisbee with you lol

B eauty - what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?

Thighs guy. And back guy. I'm just gonna put that out there.

But other than that, he finds that your kindness is what really makes you shine. He loves that you are willing to love him and finds that to be the true beauty (gosh, i love this man).

I also think he would find it attractive when you cook for him or cook with him. I think he would find that food is a very intimate and loving way to show how much you love him, so he would be obsessed with it.

C omfort - how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack, etc.

This man is your therapist. If you feel yourself getting to a stage where you just need to talk or take a breath, or even get a little panicky, you go straight to Nanami. He would breathe with you, trying to keep a steady rhythm and then he would ask you to talk. He would hold your hand, squeezing it occasionally, making you feel warm inside and eventually, you would feel a sense of calmness again.

If you're crying, on the other hand, you would run up to this man, falling straight into his arms. He would rub the back of your head, making little "sh" noises and holding you close to his chest. He would whisper how much he loves you and press little kisses on your head.

Now if you're feeling down about your body, this is a whole other subject. This man would be so upset if you were upset about your appearance. He would take you straight to a mirror and ask you to point at the places that you aren't liking and then proceed to press little kisses and rub those parts of your body, after getting onto you about it, of course.

D reams - how do they picture a future with their s/o?

He has thought about kids, but knows that maybe, because he works so much, that it probably wouldn't be the greatest idea, but the thought it always in his mind.

Marriage, though, is top priority for him. He purposely peels his eyes away from any jewelry shop because god knows he would just walk up and buy a ring on the spot for you.

He just wants to live together forever and have a cat, no Gojo involved. That's his dream future.

E qual - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Both of you switch around quite a bit. I think that he would be dominant in certain aspects, while you would be in others. But to be honest, I think it is a very equal relationship.

You would be the one to force him on the couch for face masks and cuddles, while he would be the one to help with emotional problems and any money issues and all of that.

But I honestly don't see either you or Nanami being more dominant than the other and he treats you completely equally (with tons of kisses ofc)

F ight - would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?

I honestly think, since he is so smart, fights with him wouldn't be fun. He would know what he's talking about and definitely thinks before he says anything. However! Fights with him are very very rare, so nothing to worry about too much.

When fights do happen though, it would feel so separated. You're already separated enough because he's always at work, but it wouldn't even feel like he's around anymore. But he's not avoiding you because he hates you, he's avoiding you because he doesn't want to screw up what you already have. He is thinking about how he is going to apologize, or communicate with you.

I think he would be pretty quick to forgive you if you caused the argument, but there would be a long talk. I think this man thinks that communication is key [amen] and that there needs to be a long talk instead of avoiding the situation or pretending like it didn't happen. He wants to see how he can fix his mistake and he wants to tell you what hurt him. He would be very good at working through it, so it feels like growth is happening instead of the opposite.

G ratitude - how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Nanami can't even believe he is breathing the same air as you sometimes.

This man is so grateful that every time he comes home from a stressful day, you're there with your arms stretched out and food on the counter. He couldn't ask for anything more. He loves you more than anything in the whole world.

He eventually figured out that you were managing to get time off for him, but he didn't tell you that he knew. He loved that you would do this for him just to spend more time with him and get him the self care he needs, he's honestly obsessed with it, and a little pissed when he has a long day and you didn't choose face masks for him instead.

He is very aware of how much you love him and take care of him and it's what makes him love you more than the earth itself. He wouldn't give you up for anything and honestly needs you.

H onesty - do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?

Nanami is a very reserved man, I honestly don't think he would be one for secrets, but he isn't chatty either. I mean, I think he would think it's a secret how much he loves you, but you can tell in those gorgeous eyes how hard he's fallen for you lol.

But perhaps if you weren't a sorcerer, he wouldn't tell you about curses or anything like that just because he wants to keep you safe. He doesn't want you to find out how dangerous his life can be sometimes, so he just tells you about his 9-5 rather than he's been fighting curses all day.

I nspiration - did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Since Nanami is like the therapist in your life, your mood and overall mental health has gotten so much better after dating Nanami. You are more willing to talk about your problems than hide them, and more willing to be okay with not being okay, so overall, you have become much healthier after beginning a relationship with Nanami.

Nanami has definitely changed because of you. He has learned how important self care is and how much fun it is to try new things like cooking and baking. He has overall figured out himself and what his life needed, and that was you.

J ealousy - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

Oh yes.

Oh dear lord this man gets so jealous.

If he takes you to a work party and you start talking to one of his coworkers in a cutesy manner, he will scowl like no other, sending said coworker a dirty look.

Now on the off chance you know Gojo/are friends with Gojo, Nanami will hate it. More than anything. Gojo is a naturally flirtatious fella, so when Nanami saw the way he was talking to you, he was about to fight Gojo on the spot.

I don't think he could deal with it. I just honestly think he couldn't. So, to "deal with it", you usually have to walk up and grab his hand, giving him little kisses or hugs as he is still scowling at whoever you were talking to. It would kind of pull him out, but he would just still have this evil look on his face.

He's never mad at you though. He understands how attractive you are and how attractive other people find you, but he doesn't want anyone to look at you like he does. That's his job.

K iss - are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?

Omg I've been waiting to write this one.

He is an immaculate kisser. Like so flippin' good. His lips are soft, and he kisses you like you'll just disappear at any moment. His hands caress the back of your head/neck and you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt. It's like literal heaven. This man is just amazing at kissing and no one can change my mind.

Even the first kiss was amazing. It was around your third or forth date with him, you were taking things slow and having a picnic. The sun was setting and it was golden hour. He turned to you with a smile and said, "finally. I've been waiting all evening." And grabbed your chin with his thumb and index finger, placing the softest and smallest kiss on your lips as you sat there in complete shock, wondering how the heck you managed to obtain him.

L ove Confession - how would they confess to their s/o?

As said before, Nanami is a very reserved guy. A quiet dude, for sure. It would honestly be hard for him to put it into words for the longest time. He would show it by giving you hugs and kisses and cuddles. It was all in the way he rubbed the small of your back, but he had never actually said the words "I love you".

Until one day. He came home, absolutely exhausted, immediately falling into your small arms. He could feel those tired tears filling his eyes and he took a deep breath in the crook of your neck, a small smile appearing on his tired face. "I love you more than anything, you know that?" That had you melting for weeks.

M arriage - do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would their marriage be like?

I cannot express enough how much this man wants to marry you. He would drop down on his knee on the fourth date if he could lmao.

He does take it slow, however.

But when he does propose, it's private. No one around, just you and him. It would probably be on your porch as the sun is setting. He would talk about how much he appreciates you and how he wants to be with you forever. Then he would pop the question.

The wedding would also be small. Just friends and family. Gojo is the flower girl.

It would be a wonderful wedding though. Flowers everywhere. Nanami would cry seeing you in the tux/dress. That's the first time you see him really cry. He would look so gosh dang handsome too oml.

I think he would also love renewing your vows in new beautiful locations every couple of years.

N icknames - what would they call their s/o?

I don't think he's the type to give out nicknames, so he would stick to small romantic stuff like: love, darling, dear, honey, etc. Short and sweet.

O n Cloud Nine - what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?

I think the only person it is obvious to is you. The way he looks at you isn't like how he looks at anyone else. His gorgeous eyes constantly watching your figure anytime he can.

As said earlier, he would express his love through the way he holds you with kisses and hand holding and cuddling. It would all be very small, but that's his show. He would also love whispering in your ear how much he loves you and cares about you before you go to bed.

It isn't very obvious when he's in love, but you really know he is when he is willing to hold your hand in public or even just do something as small as cook breakfast for you or softly place his hand on your hip.

P DA - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag about their s/o to others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I think that he would do small things in public. Place his hand on your hip softly, hold your hand, give you a kiss on the cheek/neck, but nothing too crazy.

He would mention you to coworkers, but let's be real, the only person he would brag about you to is Gojo.

But typically, when he is jealous, he will straight up start making out with you to show others that you are together. He has a real jealousy problem lol.

Q uirk - some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

I cannot stress this enough, communication, communication, COMMUNICATION!

He thinks it is so important to use communication in a relationship because that effectively builds everything that's important, trust, honesty, etc. Without communication, what good is the relationship.

R omance - how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliche or rather creative?

I think that Nanami is a very very very romantic individual, but nothing super duper cheesy. I mean, he loves picnics and giving you flowers, but nothing like ridiculous valentine's day stuff unless you initiate it.

He would do anything to make you happy. He wants to see you with a smile on your face always, but his go to is buying face masks and food and placing it on the table for you to find as a surprise. That and taking the day off. Nothing lights you up more.

S upport - are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

Nanami is your #1 supporter. He knows that you can achieve whatever and he will even go so far as to help you. If you need him to hold you while you work, he'll do it. If you need him to help figure out something difficult, he is right behind you. He will go to any even for you and will destroy anyone who tries to get in your way.

T hrill - do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?

This man is built on routine. He doesn't want anything too crazy or out of the blue. He loves his little morning routine with you and his occasional day off routine. Picnics and self care days are always the go to. he might try new things elsewhere, but this isn't the place for that lol

U nderstanding - how good do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

This man knows you like the back of his hand. If he senses you're off, he will do what he does best and try to calm you down/work with you on certain things. He knows when you need to be left alone, and he knows when you need a hug, and if he does it, he will be super empathetic and just let you do your own thing until you are willing to communicate what was wrong.

V alue - how important is the relationship to them? what is it's worth in comparison to value of other things?

He cannot live without you. It was so hard for him to find something that he could actually enjoy and love and be passionate about, so if he lost you, he literally couldn't go on. He doesn't want to go back to being the loner who overworked himself and he doesn't want to go back to his old routine. He LITERALLY cannot lose you.

W ild Card - random fluff headcanon (im actually gonna do a mini fic thingy, you'll see lol)

"Kento," you reached your arms out to him, pulling him closer. "Kento, come here." "What is it, love?" He giggled as you crawled into his arms, trying not to mess up his face mask. You looked into his eyes with the softest smile, rubbing the dark spots underneath his eyes. "They're lighting up." "Is that so?" You nodded and placed a kiss on his lips. "What would I do without you, dear?" You shrugged, eating whatever snack was closest. "Cry probably." "You were supposed to be romantic, not shoving Cheetos in your mouth." You just giggled, sinking to his touch. To be honest, you didn't know what you would do without him.

X OXO - are they very affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

YES, YES, YES!!

On his off time, the one thing he is looking forward to is falling into your arms. There literally isn't a time where you his arm isn't around you while you two are sleeping.

Y earning - how will they cope when they're missing they're s/o?

While at work, Nanami get's very stressed. You're usually one to help him out of his stress, but when you're not there, rash emotions will come quicker. But he's used to it, so it't nothing super crazy. Especially since it's only a couple of hours.

Now, let's say you went on a business trip without him. He would HATE that. He would feel alone and have that awful life is meaningless feeling again that would just rip away at him. But it honestly helps him appreciate you 10x more.

Z eal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? if so, what kind?

Nanami would do anything to make you stay. He will help you when you are upset. He will take days off for you. He will take you out to dinner. He would stay awake for a week if it meant he gets to see you all the time with a smile on your face.

I think he would be willing to sacrifice a lot because you helped him so much, and he loves you more than anything in the whole wide world.

<3

[lilosaur]

hewwo! i've read your writings and they're so fluffy hhhhh 💖 also if it's alright, can i request scenarios for the boys(mitsuya, chifuyu, inui) when their s/o knit them a scarf or sweater?? 👉👈

ahhh tysm!! I hope you enjoy reading this, I’m glad you enjoy reading my works’ 🤎

༉‧₊˚✧ When You Knit Them a Scarf ˳೫˚∗

⟶ ticket no. 4 ɞ

w/ Mitsuya Takashi | Matsuno Chifuyu | Inui Seishu

Warnings - wearing a scarf? relationships

fluff!

ʚ Mitsuya Takashi ɞ

Mitsuya himself makes you a lot of clothes, you’d get cool clothes only available for you to wear! When you told him that you knit he probably got really excited that you two kinda have something in common!

You decided to make him a scarf since your relationship has gotten tighter over the weeks, you really put your heart and soul into the whole project, from planning it to picking out the colors to figuring out how long it should be. It may have taken you a little while to make but it was so worth it! You just hoped Mitsuya would love it as much as you do.

You decided to put it in a little gift box and buy a fancy bow to put on top, it really just adds a bit of spice to the whole thing!

You stopped by Mitsuya's house after school to bring him your little gift. Your kinda nervous to see if he’ll like it or not. but honestly he will love it When you put the gift in his hands he looked at you and smiled, his smile is so bright and warm!!

“What’s this?” He asks in his soft voice. omg his soft voice is so<33

“A gift for you!” You say excited and eager for him to open it.

Mitsuya carefully lifts open the top of the box and immediately smiles when he sees the scarf inside, you can tell he really likes it!

“Wow y/n this is so pretty, your actually amazing you know that?” When he said that you can feel little butterfly’s flutter around your stomach. he’s so sweet

“I was worried you weren’t going to like it haha” When you told him that his smile kinda faded a bit :(

“Why would you think that? Of course I’d love it, it’s coming from the most amazing person in the world, my one true love.” Your heart was about to melt… literally. Mitsuya wrapped his arms around you pulling you into a hug.

“Thank you for the scarf.” He whispered into your ear, you were blushing just a little bit and super happy that he liked it. Maybe you should make him more things in the future..

༚༅༚˳❃˳༚༅༚

ʚ Matsuno Chifuyu ɞ

You saw on tiktok that someone made a scarf for this s/o, you wanted to do the same thing for Chifuyu.. you knew how to knit a little bit so it was time to do some research on how to get better at it. After a few practice tries you were ready to start on your big project! A scarf for Chifuyu, especially with winter coming up he’s gonna need one! You decided to put little cats that looked like peke j into the scarf, he’ll definitely love that. peke j is so cute too ngl

You took one final look at the scarf, it have a few flaws here and there but you were still new to knitting and not everything’s perfect, you just hoped Chifuyu would like it enough to wear it..

You and Chifuyu had a date tonight so you decided to give it to him then as a surprise gift! You found a nice gift bag to put it in with some fancy paper to add some pop to the whole idea.

Once your date was almost over you pulled out your gift for Chifuyu…

“Oh no you didn’t have to get me a gift y/n!”

“I want you to have it, it’s personalized for you silly!” His face looks confusing when you said that, ‘personalized for him??’

When he took out the fancy paper he saw the scarf sitting alone at the bottom, he gently pulled it out and a joyful smile appeared on his face.

“Woah this is so cool! Did you make this?” Chifuyu asks excitedly

“Mhm!” You responded too nervous to make any real conversation.

“Oh my gosh even peke j is on it, your the best y/n!!” Chifuyu made sure to give you plenty of tiny kisses all over your face while walking you home, just the thought that you made something for him warms his heart so much.!

༚༅༚˳❃˳༚༅༚

ʚ Inui Seishu ɞ

Inui is definitely the kind of person who is almost always cold or shivering with goosebumps all over, it was your grand idea to knit him a cute and casual scarf that maybe could help him out with that. You didn’t really know what kind of theme Inui would like since he doesn’t share much of his small interests like favorite animals/colors :(

So you decided to stick to basics and make a lovely beige scarf, something simple that maybe he’ll like it? You made sure to make it long enough that it drapes down his shoulder to help keep his body warm too! Secretly planning the perfect gift hoping that Inui would like it too.

You were so close to being finished on Inui's scarf working on the last bit in your room when you hear your window start to open…

“Hey y/n whatcha doing?” Inui pops into your room from the window… it’s like 1:00 in the morning-

“Inui! What are you doing here!?” You shout lightly trying to cover up your gift for him.

“Oh are you making something? I really just kind of missed you so I wanted to come by and hang out. If your busy I can go-”

“No it’s fine I was just working on a project..”

“What kind of project?” he asks while he inspects what your hiding with you hands.

“Umm it may be a gift.. for someone…”

“Huh? Oh I get it, oops my bad did I spoil jt for myself?” Inui laughs nervously with his hand behind his neck.

“No it’s okay, im almost finished with it so you can have it once im done!”

“Can I watch you finish it?” He asks curiously.

“Oh sure..” you reply nervously with a bit of light pink developing across your face.

You spend the rest of the night knitting on your ‘project’ while Inui watches behind you. Maybe your little gift was spoiled but by the look in his eyes as he watches you, you can tell he already loves the new addition soon to be in his wardrobe.

Wow I really enjoyed writing this, if you can knit that’s so awesome I wanna learn to knit one day!! As always thanks for reading and have an amazing day/night <3

[swaps55]

2, 9, and 17 for the deep fic writer asks!! <3

Thank you!

From fic writer asks

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

Fugue. Specifically, The Courage of Stars. This entire story beats me up, but that chapter in particular gutted me in a way I needed a lot of time to recover from. It is not the only reason I took over a year off from that story, but it’s a big one.

As a whole, Fugue requires me to put myself in a pretty emotionally difficult headspace. Especially for the first half of the story, I couldn’t work on it unless I had a big block of time to throw at it, because I had to give myself time to ramp into that headspace, and then give myself time to ramp out of it.

9. what's your writing process like?

Writing every day does me more harm than good. The good news is I’m pretty disciplined at staying in the habit of writing, so when I’m reluctant to sit down and do it, I know myself well enough to figure out if it’s because I’m mentally tired and trying to draw blood from a stone, or if I’m avoiding something I just need to buckle down and crank through.

I cannot juggle more than one long fic at a time, so whatever’s active gets my entire focus and headspace. I also typically write pretty chronologically, but if I have a scene from down the road burning up my brain, I’ll spit it out so it quits keeping me up at night.

When I’m creating a draft, I tend to put the bones down first, then layer in the muscle. But I often work scene by scene, so I may flesh out an existing scene before pushing through to the next one. If I feel like something’s going off the rails, I go back and fix it before writing forward, because just ignoring it in favor of finishing a draft usually comes back to bite me.   

I’m also predominantly a pantser, with occasional plotter tendencies. Someone once commented that I must have plotted extensively to make “The Things We’ve Done” (the Sharjilla chapter of Cantata) work, and while I take that as an incredible compliment, I did not, haha. I pantsed the ever loving fuck out of that story. Hell, I marooned Sam and Kaidan on that planet without having any idea what marooned them, why they were pissed at each other about it, or how I was going to resolve it.

17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?

Oh gosh. I can’t even begin to choose one. I am constantly blown away by the incredible things people have said to me over these stories. @mrsd-writes made one of Kara’s cross-stitches (!!!!) and @theoriginalladya made me a wreath celebrating all the of the ‘Yang’s holiday traditions. @ahhrenata drew ART for one of my stories. I cannot believe any of that happened.

I’ve had people tell me they figured out they were ace because of Sam and Kaidan. I’ve had people tell me they wish the ‘Yang crew were part of the games and have adopted Cantata as their own canon. People have told me they ask themselves what Sam would do when they play. People have told me Opus encouraged them to start writing. All of that is AMAZING.

The love people have expressed for the ‘Yang OCs in particular floors me, because I never in a million years thought people would embrace new characters in a world that is already rife with such incredible, loveable characters.

I never ceased to be amazed that something I wrote has touched other people.

[roguelioness]

writing tag game

Tagged by @ejunkiet, @noire-pandora and @thevikingwoman - thank you ♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68. The number would be higher if I transferred a bunch of my tumblr fics there, but I haven’t gotten around to it (and I don’t know if I ever will!)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

826,525

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

 A Whole New World  (Dragon Age, Solas x OFC)

Deja Vu Jamais Vu  (Mass Effect, Thane Krios x OFC)

For Goodness Bakes (Dragon Age, Solas x Lavellan)

The Dread Wolf Took Her (Dragon Age, Solas x Trevelyan)

A Single Arrow (Dragon Age, Solas x Trevelyan)

(side note: I’m very surprised by the last two! Both of them were written when I first joined the fandom and I’m not very fond of them, but I haven’t deleted them because they show me how far I’ve gotten along in my writing journey. I’m also rather surprised that some of my other longer works haven’t gotten as much attention... oh well!)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I answer most comments (with a noticeable exception). I struggle with replying to comments but I try to do my best to do so - getting a comment makes me incredibly happy and I want to let the commenter know just that :D

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

A lot of my angstiest works were also my very first works, haha. I temper my angst with fluff these days :) 

That being said, here are some:

Solas ends up killing Trevelyan - A single arrow

Post-Crestwood feels - Rue

Solas loses Lavellan to his plans - Solace sought

Solas and Lavellan lose to Falon’din - In the grip of death

Some of those are better than others (a couple make me cringe, but that’s part of the writing journey I suppose!)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most - of not all - of my stories these days are happy endings. I refuse to have it otherwise!

For Goodness Bakes is my happiest ending so far, I think. There are some rough patches but it ends in a very fluffy way. The Inquisition Job also has a happy ending, which for a Cullenmance is to be expected, but it’s still fun :)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I don’t think I’ve written crossovers so far, but I do have a Stardew Valley/Dragon Age one planned for the future.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. A Whole New World had a period where I would get negative comments, and anon hate on Tumblr. It’s part of the reason I had to turn on comment moderation, and why I don’t respond to comments for that fic.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh gosh, yes. Are there different kinds of smut? I have no idea. I try to write hot, emotional smut, but whether that comes across I don’t know.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no, and I hope that isn’t the case. Writing is so hard and takes so much effort, it would be such a slap in the face to have something stolen. I hope people don’t do that - what a terrible thing to do.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I imagine it would be quite tricky planning out characters and plot? Would each author write a chapter? Not sure how that would work, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it if there was a good way to go about it.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, though if I’m being honest, it would be a tie between that and Solas/Trevelyan. There’s just something about an ancient elven god falling in love with someone who belongs to the race he believes caused the downfall of his people... I haven’t written it because I would be terrible at it, but it does capture my imagination.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

My very first longfic (now deleted) was a Solas/Trevelyan soulmate AU that suffered from the too much syndrome, and as a result I had to can it. I have a soft spot for it because a lot of ideas I had in that story I’m proud of, but I just don’t think I can finish it - it would take way too much work, and I have other ideas that interest me more.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Plot. And dialogue, maybe.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Emotion. I know what the character feels but it’s quite the challenge for me to show it. I’ve been trying to work at it but it takes a lot of effort. 

Description is another part that I struggle with - I often wish I had a way with the pretty language/phrases I read.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m guilty of doing this! One thing I’ve come to realize is that having a different language in the middle of a story can be quite immersion-breaking, so lately I’ve tried to use only words/phrases that are part of canon and are well known. I’d much rather use italics to depict a different language - it does the same job but won’t leave the reader struggling to translate.

As far as using other languages - might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t see the harm. Ideally, it would be good to have a native speaker help with the translations, but translating itself takes time and effort and should be appreciated.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh man, I don’t want to choose - I put in a lot of effort into all of them and I love them the same! (The one-shots, on the other hand, are a different story lol).

This might be strange, but I’m quite proud of Resurrection. It’s a very different story idea and writing style, and I’m pleased with how it turned out. I’m also happy with Succumbing, a Solavellan vampire AU that was my first attempt at writing horror. Lastly, my DAI:NPC ficlet series is a very self-indulgent attempt to explore the random characters you encounter in Inquisition (though I’ve had to pause it on account of not having screenshots - maybe I can pick it up again at some point!)

Tagging @ma-sulevin, @kagetsukai, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @redinkofshame, @bearlytolerant, @shannaraisles, @galadrieljones, @cleverblackcat, @hoochieblues, @rhetoricalrogue and anyone else who wants to do it (consider yourself tagged!)

[sunflowerfycs]

“Shut up Blaise”

Summary: Blaise can’t stop playfully teasing Draco & Y/N, who have been dating for almost a year now. Blaise exposes some secrets that should not have been said in Slughorn’s class, which leads the couple to touch on the surface on a little secret of his own.

Pairing: Draco X Reader

Warning: SUPER Fluff. All the characters are soft. Bad writing: written at 2:00am. Comedy? Mild language? Idk. || “friend things”

A/N: Hello guys! I am a new writer here, and I’m sorry this is bad. I was feeling very soft and wrote this more comedy based? which I never do? bet here we are. I hope you enjoy! I’ll actually post a serious work later. Don’t worry :)

Don’t forget to give me request! I’m better if I have a prompt or an idea to work with <3

———————— ♡ ————————

———————— ♡ ————————

“Did you sleep well, love?” Draco asked with a husky morning voice that was slowly fading. He was leaning against the wall near the entrance of your common room, reading a book which soon snapped closed as he sensed your presence.

He moved his arms swiftly around your waist and pulled you close. He placed a kiss on top of your forehead and then put his head on your shoulder, burying himself deep in your neck. Touching him felt like home: two entities becoming one in the warmth of the love you both had for each other. The smell of cologne and fresh shampoo soon reached you nose, making you squeeze him tighter —— not wanting to let go.

“Yes, but I could’ve slept better with you next to me...” you said teasingly.

He pulled away, giving you a playful smirk, as he shook his head staring at the ground clearly flustered by your flirty antics.

“You are such a flirt, always all over meee,” he responded as grabbed your hand. He twirled you around giving you a playful spin and then interlocked his long fingers with yours.

“haha, I’m just saying ....” you continued as you raised and dropped your shoulders playfully.

You both slowly started walking to your Potions class. This was a peaceful time for the both of you. You and Draco talked about everything and anything: ranting about the golden trio, bringing up “existential-crisis” questions, being cheeky, and listening to each other’s worries and excitements. You and Draco shared all of this together. Sometimes, you even felt his mood even before you saw him, and acted accordingly depending on how he was feeling.

What you loved the most about this morning walk in particular is how Draco took his guard down and let his true emotions show. His smile so radiant, a genuine and pure smile that can instantly warm your heart and fill your belly with butterflies of love. Whenever he talked about something interesting or about a personal project he wanted to achieve, his light blue eyes would sparkle the way waves reflect the warm light of the sun in a nice summer day.

———————— ♡ ————————

“Well, well, well.... if it isn’t Mr. & Ms. Malfoy... when’s the wedding?” Blaise asked as soon as he saw you two walk through the door.

“Sorry to say this.... but you just...” Draco leaned in to whisper something to Blaise, putting his hand on his shoulder as if to say something important, “...aren’t invited” he completed his sentence. A smile soon creeping on his face.

“WhAT? Oh My GoSh Y/N? I mIghT JuSt...” he turned around looking at you pretending to be stabbed deeply in the heart. With his hands on his chest, he sat down, pretending to faint. He sat between you and Draco, which meant that you were never bored.

“Oh Blaise! Please don’t die! I don’t think Draco could live without you...” you played along.

Laughs filled the room as other students started to get ready for the class.

“Okay class, it’s time to settle down,” Mr. Slughorn entered the classroom surprisingly a little over a minute late.

Everyone took their seats and got ready for potions, you as well turned into you “game mode” face Draco said it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen and payed attention to the class.... or at least tried.

———————— ♡ ————————

“pssstt..... Y/N...” Blaise said putting his face on his desk, trying to find your gaze.

“What?” You whispered.

“How’s it like kissing Draco? wait, is he a moaning type of guy?” He smirked. you rolled your eyes and looked to see if Draco had heard his friend’s question, but he was still concentrated on the lesson.

“Mhmmm... YOU should know,” you retorted back.

His jaw dropped at you sassiness. He’s such a drama queen sometimes. Well, actually, all the time.

“You’re becoming sarcastic like your boyfriend! Maybe it’s because you make out with him so much,” Blaise responded, causing a slight blush to appear on your face.

He wasn’t wrong though...

“Oh Draco, please kiss me oh please Draco,” he moaned while making smooching sounds and grabbing his arms as if making out with himself.

Finally, Draco turned his head around at his friend, not impressed by his actions counting the million times he has teased you both like this.

‘So immature... yet it’s cute to see Y/N flustered’ Draco thought.

“Shut up Blaise...” Draco slightly pushed him from the other side in an attempt to shut him up.

“Draco... remember that time you were sleep talking?” Blaise snapped his head at him but then started to look between the two.

“Huh?” Draco inquired.

“I’ll do a reenactment...” he fake coughed a couple times as if to clear his voice.

“oh Y/N... you look so pretty in that dress please come here yes yes don’t stop” Blaise moaned but not being able to control his laughter.

You raised your eyebrows, finding Draco’s eyes already on you looking for a reaction.

you smirked...

“Wait, Blaise tell me more,” you tried to calm him down and slowly pulled him your way trying to make him face you.

“Once....” he looked as if he were to spill more information about his friend, but then swiftly turned his head at him.

“Y/N likes your butt,” Blaise blurted out which took your smirk and drew it in your boyfriend’s face.

Blaise then faced you again.

“Draco said he likes touching you boob-“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence as Draco grabbed his papers and smacked his friend’s face with them.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” Draco said maybe a little too loudly, as it caught Mr. Slughorn’s attention.

“Settle down class, no more talking”

———————— ♡ ————————

Blaise, Draco, and you were now walking to get some lunch. Even though it was already the middle of the day, and several classes passed, you were still petty about what Blaise did that morning in Mr. Slughorn and you could sense Draco was too.

Both of you exchanged glances, as Blaise kept on babbling about the many ways he was better than Cedric in Quidditch.

Oh it was on, you smiled at Draco that had placed his arm around your waist pulling you closer.

“Blaise, are you lonely?” this question catching him off guard.

“What do you mean?” He responded a little too defensively.

“You always tease me and Draco about being together, but maybe you tease us because you want a relationship yourself,” you said innocently.

There must be somebody WE can tease him about. There must be. Draco catching up with your thoughts continued your plan.

“Why are you so silent my friend is there anyone in mind?” Draco asked teasingly as he caught up to his friend and stepped in front of him causing him to stop in his tracks.

Blaise for the first time, ever, in history, didn’t know what to say.

“I- I- think I forgot something,” he quickly said blasting off back to the slytherin common room.

“You know what that means?” Draco said as he stepped closer to you grabbing both of your cold hands in his. Excitement filling the atmosphere.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him!” you said not fighting the urge to jump and swing both of your arms all around. Draco smiled at you fondly spinning around with you while holding hands, your beautiful hair dancing with you.

“We need to find who it is!” the mischievous spark in your eye made draco chuckle, putting his forehead on yours. Damn, his eyes were beautiful.

“When did my girl become such a trouble maker?”

“I learned from the best...” you responded wrapping your arms and pulling him to connect the space between you.

His lips were heavenly soft, your chapstick imprinting in his own lips. Time seemed to slow when you had moments like this, there was nothing that could separate you two. You moved your hands up, from his shoulders all the way to his nape, getting a hold of some strands of his light blondish hair, which caused draco to slowly release a pleasing sigh into your mouth.

You slowly pulled back, not that you wanted to, but because you were very hungry.

“Come on let’s go my prince,” letting Draco guide the way and get a little ahead so you could...

....

“Hey! Did you just smack my ass?”

“What can I say? Blaise may be a blabber mouth but he is certainly not a liar.”

[sohin-ace]

Headcanons for bucci gang for a selectively mute fem!s/o speaking for the first time and their first words to them were the words "I love you so much" paired with a pure and genuinely happy smile 💝💗💝💖

This is THE CUTEST THING!

This hit a bit too close to home and I cried a bit while writing this.

I'm sorry it took so long, I wanted to take my time on this one. Hopefully you'll like it!

Bucci gang w/ a selectively mute S/O speaking for the first time HC

Bucciarati:

When you first joined, Bruno insisted to take you to a professional to maybe do something about your mutism.

He felt concerned and a bit defeated when you refused, but he didn't push it. After all, it didn't affect your performances on missions or anything.

"If you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to say anything, amore."

He knew that it hurt you just as much as it hurt him, but again, he would never force you out of your comfort zone.

One night, Bruno stayed in his office to take care of endless paperwork, as usual.

It was around 3 a.m. when he heard a gentle knock on his door.

When you shyly entered and closed the door behind you he was surprised to see you'd still be awake.

He got up and joined you halfway when you had slowly reached out to him. He could read it in your eyes, you had something important to tell him.

Worried, he approached you and held your arm as you said, soft and strained.

"I... Love you... So.. Much, Bruno." You had accompagnied your words with a beautiful yet shy smile and Bruno's eyes widened.

He couldn't contain his gasp as he gripped both your arms tightly.

"Y/N... What... What did you- Did you just-... I'm losing my mind... C-could you say that again?! Oh please God, let me hear it again-"

You were shocked by his reaction.

The usually so calm and composed Bruno Bucciarati was sounding so desperate and in the verge of breaking down.

He softened his eyes on you, but you could see from the way his chest heaved uncontrollably that he was bottling his emotions.

He gently held your face and leaned your forehead against his.

"You are so strong, my Y/N... It must have been so hard for you..."

His hair tingled your face and when you moved some strands behind his ears delicately, he started shaking.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he let out a hearty laugh, his eyes wet and the lump in his throat painful.

"Tesoro mio, I'm so proud of you. I feel so blessed to hear your angelic voice... Just for me... God..."

He held you flush against him and his mind raced with the sound of your voice.

Abbachio:

You had found him alone one night, a bottle of wine in front of him.

You knew damn well he would drink his blues away when he thought everyone was asleep and you hoped this would cheer him up a little bit.

You walked up to him and he jumped, startled, only relaxing when he noticed it was just you.

He looked down at his empty glass in silence. What could he say? There was nothing to say.

He knew you wouldn't ask questions and he wouldn’t answer them anyway. You could only silently judge his pathetic, worthless self. Or so he thought.

You carefully snaked you arms around his neck from behind, as gentle as you could be.

"I love you so much... Leone.. Leone..."

His heart almost stopped. He tensed up as his chest started to hurt.

Was he drunk? No, he didn’t even drink that much already, he could hold his liquor way more than that-

"Y/-..."

He could barely finish saying your name when he turned his head to look at you, a sweet and genuine smile gracing your face.

He stood up so abruptly he almost knocked you and his chair down as he pounced on your smaller form.

He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched your shirt in his fists, desperately clinging onto you as he buried his crying face in your neck. Gosh he couldn't let you see him like this.

But at the same time, he couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy. Or just happy at all.

"You spoke my name... Of all things... You said my name... Gosh your voice is... I don't deserve you..."

Your voice echoed in his mind and for once, he was so extremely grateful to have Moody Blues to replay that exact moment, over and over.

He couldn't get enough of it.

He replayed your words before sleeping, when he woke up, when he felt like drinking...

Giorno:

Giorno was a fairly quiet person himself.

Due to his background he grew to know to stay silent when necessary, so he understood you.

He related to you a lot, never pushed your boundaries to speak up and made it easier for you by asking 'yes or no' questions.

It didn't change the fact that in his eyes, you were a beautiful and strong person, worthy of love and respect.

Still, he wished you would open up to him one day.

You two were just peacefully watching the horizon, the breeze and quietness of the city making the moment very romantic.

"It's a beautiful view, isn't it?"

He did not expect an answer of course, but he still loved to speak to you, as he knew you were always listening.

You looked at him dead in the eyes and you choked a small hesitant gasp, still unsure of yourself.

He leaned down. "What's wrong, amore?"

Upon seeing his soft green eyes, you felt encouraged and spoke up while fidgeting with his blonde braid.

"I love you so much... Giogio..."

His eyes widened and his lips parted, completely taken aback. But upon seeing the adorable, sweet smile you were gifting him, he could hardly control back his actions.

He instantly held your face and brought you in for a passionate and loving kiss that spoke all the words for him.

You had felt his tears streaming on your own face, but he was sure to not show them to you as he immediately held you against him after pulling away.

"So brave... To speak your confession to me like this... My angel..."

Mista:

Mista was leisurely chilling on the couch, drinking some soda when you sat down next to him.

"Sup babe?"

You tugged on his shirt and he automatically leaned down to your level, not without a little hum of confusion.

Oh, did you want to kiss him? Haha, cute.

But then you gently cupped his ear and leaned your lips towards him.

"I... Love you... so much..." The last words died in a soft whisper.

When you let go of him to see his reaction, he didn't budge a muscle.

He dropped his drink and spilled it all over his pants and the floor. Oh but he didn't even care, he was completely stunned.

He would have been frozen in place till the end of time if you didn't shake him out of it.

"B-babe- oh my god... OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING- Y/N !!!"

He litterally jumped out of his seat and howled to the whole headquarter.

"YOU TALKED!!?? MY BABY SPOKE WORDS HAHAHA HOLY SHIT BRO OH MY GOD!!! YOOO EVERYBODY COME HERE!!!"

The Pistols flew out everywhere and cheered with their user who was still jumping and grabbing at his head in pure euphoria.

He couldn't stop laughing and he tackled you down on the couch, holding you tight like you would disappear.

"You are so amazing, Y/N, my baby, oh my god, I love you too-"

He couldn't stop peppering your face with kisses after that.

Narancia:

Spare this boy. He was especially sensitive to your condition.

Why didn't you speak to them? Bucciarati said you could talk, but you didn't?

No matter how many times he was explained the situation, he didn't get it.

He always tried to make you laugh, and joked around. It didn't make you talk, but surely it made you fall for him.

He eventually accepted the silent treatment but still asked you so many questions.

"What's your voice like?" "Do you have an accent?" "Were you always mute?" "What do you scream when you stub your toe?"

One random day you approached him and hugged him very suddenly.

"O-oh- What's going on cutie?"

He had a goofy smile on his face and reciprocated the soft embrace before you backed up a bit, looking into his eyes.

"Narancia... I love you... So.. So much..."

...Was it real? Was this really happening?

He let out an incomprehensible yelp and stuttering sounds of confusion and shock.

"E-eeh.. Whaa-.. Uh... Whu... Ah-..?!"

He cupped his face, covered his mouth, grabbed his head, he didn't know what to do, how to react, he was so shaken and distraught.

He eventually started to sob loudly and his eyes watered freely. He was so moved.

"Your voice, Y/N- your voice..!"

His own voice cracked into a high pitched squeak and he grabbed your shoulders, hanging his head low and broke down completely.

You carefully patted and carressed his arms and back in comfort.

"Y/N! Y/N! YOUR VOICE IS SO PRETTY OH MY GOD PLEASE SAY SOMETHING ELSE PLEASE PLEASE IT'S BEAUTIFUL YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL DAMN-"

He was so scared it would be the first and last time he ever heard you.

It was so difficult to calm him down.

Fugo:

He actually made a lot of research on selective mutism to understand what it's like, what causes it etc.

He felt concerned that you would have to go through something like this when you were such a good and kind person.

He liked how your silent calm nature contrasted with his own angry one and he was thankful to have someone like you to help him tone down.

You had come up behind him one day after he got extremely frustrated with Narancia.

He was fuming and clearly, whatever you wanted right now, he was not in the mood for it.

You only grabbed his hand gently and rubbed the back of it, sending him a sweet smile.

"I love you... So, so much..."

He flinched and subconsciously clenched your hand. Hard.

What was that? WHAT WAS THAT?

His eyes were wide as saucers and his entire body stopped responding.

"...Y/N?" He called weakly, thinking foolishly that maybe that wasn't really you in front of him.

You sweetly caressed his cheek and he looked like he was going to pass out.

Everytime he tried to form words, they would come in short breaths. He was so overwhelmed, he had such a difficult time processing his emotions.

For the first time, you saw him smile a genuine smile of happiness as he shakily put his hand over yours holding his face, nuzzling into your touch.

"I... I love you too... You are so incredible, you sound so much better than I ever expected."

Trish:

Trish always tried her best to make you speak.

She knew she shouldn't push you, but she wanted you to feel okay and safe with everyone.

She was a bit shy herself and didn't have the best background for growing up into a loud person.

One day, you went to her and grabbed her attention. When she turned around, and you finally spoke your love to her, so softly, so quietly, she immediately jumped.

"I... I love you Trish... So, so much."

"Wha-... What did you say...?" She is breathless and can't help but cover her mouth in pure shock.

Surely she hallucinated just now, right?

You grin at her dumbfounded expression and her mouth opens and closes as she doesn't even know what to say or where to start.

This is not like she was used to being told she was loved, but from you? This was like a dream!

You noticed the tears brimming in her eyes and she bit her lips before she buried her face in her hands.

You had to take her in your arms and hold her tight while she sobbed.

It's only when you start patting her back gently that she realises this isn't a dream.

She immediataly coils her arms tightly around your neck and stutters, overwhelmed.

"I can't believe it, I can't believe it, I can't believe it-"

You chuckle quietly and she cries even harder when she finally hears your laughing voice.

[withcreamandsugar]

🌺🌸haseul group project in college au🌸🌺

HI IM NOT DEAD school has been kicking my ass HAHA i promise i’ll try to be more active!! enjoy this lil au i’ve been working on since literally my last post!!

“Alright class, start grouping up for the project presentation next week! Don’t procrastinate, this is worth 30% of your grade!”

You were halfway through processing what the professor had said until you realized the classrooms cliques had already started forming. Those seemingly without a group were you, a couple tongue deep in each other, and a pretty girl writing down notes while humming to herself with an airpod in her ear.

You gulped as you walked over to her, making sure not to trip over the occupied couple next to her.

“Hey, I’m y/n. Sorry to bother you but-“

You got through half your sentence before realizing she was still humming along to the song on her phone.

You tap her shoulder, and in response her eyes shoot open, meet yours and a blush begins to form.

“S-sorry! I didn’t realize you were talking to me. What did you need?”

“Haha, no worries. I just wanted to know if.. you wanted to be in a group for Prof’s project next week?”

“Wait, p-project?? Oh gosh, zoned out once I realized those two lovebirds started to go to town right next to me. I’m Haseul, and they’re my friends, Jiwoo and Sooyoung. Well, you’re welcome to join us, but I hope you don’t mind the distraction, heehee.”

You exchanged details, mentally first pumping at the idea of getting a girl like her’s number, and decided to work on the project during the upcoming weekend.

“WHAT??”

You jumped in your chair at Haseul’s scream, and felt the gaze of the entire library glaring at your table. After a mass of hushes and sighs, you quietly inquired Haseul about what had happened.

“Those two idiots decided to take the weekend off in Busan! IN BUSAN!”

After yet another mass of hushes, you desperately tried to get Haseul to calm down.

“Okay, it’s okay. Uhh, so let’s see... We only have 3 days until the presentation, so if we pull an all nighter we can probably get... 90% of the work done by the end of the weekend.”

You heard her audibly gulp. “Did you say... all nighter?” She looked up at you with puppy dog eyes and a pout, then collapsed face first into the library table.

“I’ll buy us coffees.” She groaned, still face down on the table. “Make that two coffees. And a cookie.” patting her on the head as you headed to the cafe.

“Good thing my head was down,” Haseul thought, as her face had instantly started blushing.

~~two coffees and a cookie later~~

The two of you worked hours on end on the presentation, nitpicking every meticulous detail fueled by the burst of caffeine. You notice Haseul’s tip-taps on her laptop keyboard grow progressively louder, culminating in a frustrated groan/growl.

“Everything alright Haseul?” you asked

“I can’t get this stupid image to compile!” She started smacking the laptop screen between every word - “If only this old jank piece of shi-“

“Hey, hey!” You grasped her smacking arm without thinking and held it for a short moment, leading to both of you awkwardly pulling back and looking away. “I-I think now would be a great time for a break.”

“But if we stop working we won’t be able to finish by Mon-“

“So I’ll keep working. You need to rest. Come over on my side of the bench and take a nap, you can lay on my backpack.”

Haseul let out a long sigh. “That doesn’t sound very comfortable.” Haseul remarked snarkily with a smirk.

“You’d be surprised at how comfortable a Psych 114 textbook is. Great lumbar support,” you jabbed back.

“Har har. I’ll take your word for it.” Haseul sauntered over and took up your offer.

Not even an hour into your work grind you get bored and look over to see Haseul splayed out on the bench, already deep in sleep. You thought this would be a perfect photo op for later, so you sneak over and hover your phone over the sleeping beauty’s not so beautiful drooling face. You snap a few pics, giggling at the idea of showing them to her later.

However, you suddenly lose your grip on the phone and to avoid dropping it on her face, you quickly swipe it away to the side. The jerk in movement causes you to fall out of balance and stumble on top of Haseul on all fours.

The two of you look at each other in utter disbelief, eyes wide open at the situation you find yourselves in. You look at each other for a very long time, the library’s silence deafening more than ever. Your heart races as you question what to do before beginning to push yourself off of her.

All of a sudden, Haseul grabs your arm much like you did hers prior. “Now or never,” the two of you simultaneously thought. You lean in slowly, eyes closed, every second feeling like a millenia. The two of you are hairs apart when you hear,

RIIIING. RIIIING. RIIIING.

Your phone blares, echoing throughout the silent library. You jump up instinctively and rush over to answer, hearing a familiar voice.

“Heeeeeeey good morning y/n!! I hope you and Haseul didn’tmiss us too much, heehee! It turns out, Sooyoung and I missed our train to Busan last night, so we can work on the project after all. See you at the library in 5? Later!!”

Ears ringing you shut the phone, laughing to yourself at the irony of the situation. You remember the situation you were in a minute ago and turn your vision back to Haseul.

Haseul sheepishly looks down, avoiding eye contact. “S-so about the project! I can continue working on-“

Haseul got through half her sentence before you placed a fleeting peck on her lips, leaving her astounded. She covered her face with her hands, her cheeks almost matching her red nail polish. “W-why? Not that I minded or anything!”

“I just thought I needed to get that through before you kill me,” as you showed her your phone screen, slowly swiping through the multitude of her sleeping photos taken at numerous unflattering angles, before starting to run away in fear and/or joy.

“Ya! Delete those!” She ran after you, throwing the contents of your comfy backpack at you as the two of you started a wild goose chase around the empty library. “I can’t believe I ever thought about liking you!”

You thought to yourself mid sprint and out of breath, “I found her.”

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[belongtothewcrld]

Just wanted to say a few words about those who made my year ~ (SORRY THIS IS LONG) 

@idiot-juice-enthusiast​ - My sweet baby, where do I begin? I treasure you so much, I know I tease you a lot. BUT I am soo happy you decided to leave me an ask, despite you know, my stupidity. You are so funny and just, idk, BRIGHT. Maybe it’s because you’re still young or maybe it’s because you’re just a ball of light, idk. EITHER WAY. I am so thankful to have you in my life. When my friends slowly started leaving me in RL you were the first one who started to fill that void so like.... tHANKS. Happy New Year, my child! Love you!! 

@haikyuufairy - My shooting star, oh gosh. You not only have made my year by being my friend but by blessing me with stories that really shake up my whole existence LMAO. You are incredibly talented, and I just wish the best for you. You deserve so much happiness and success. You’re a beautiful soul inside and out, and the whole world should know it! I want you to know that I really do mean everything I’m saying, because you deserve to be showered in love and compliments. and as long as you keep me around, I will remind you of your worth. >:) I love you, and happy new year! 

@toikiwi​ - you peanut head, what should I even say to you. >:) You are very forgetful, funny and sweet. For some weird reason though you chose to care about me so deeply and for what??? I AM HORRIBLE. do I deserve your affection? probably not. BUT DO I APPRECIATE IT? yes. I never had a friend like you, and I’m really glad we met. ;-; you’re one of a kind. Love you and happy new year! 

@alluringeternity​ - my bestiee. we went from you sending me asks, to watching movies on zoom like I think that’s a whole ass victory. despite our time differences, we make this friendship work and I think that’s sexy ;) I really love talking with you, I know you once thought I’d get bored of you BUT HAHA BITCH IT NEVER HAPPENED. you’re stuck with me forever. I can’t wait until we meet up so then I can cling to you for all eternity. :D MWAHAH love you and it’s not the new year anymore for you so like happy Jan 2nd or something idk LOVE YOU 

@suna-r1n​ - lilyyy, my little duckie, my crybaby friend. I adore you, truly. I’ve never gotten so attached to someone so quickly until you LMAO. I mean I always loved when you would send me random messages but then we ended up talking much more frequently and honestly it was everything. You are so sweet and just... squishy. I’m really glad we became friends and started talking more, because you really are someone I cherish and want to protect >:) so be safe this new years eve, little shit! I love you.  

@4fterh0urs​ - Pheebz you crazy ass ho. JK. You’re just crazy ;) But I respect it. You have made me laugh so many times from the shit you post idk you’re just cool, I GUESS!? You’re also v moral I FEEL? sometimes when everyone else is silent about shit that’s fucked you’re not and I really respect you for it. I feel like we’re similar in weird ways and I really love talking with you. I hope you have a great new years eve, bbs!! love youu. 

@chaichai-the-weeb​ - my fellow Canadian!! I’m still pressed we haven’t met in RL yet but IT WILL HAPPEN!! I’m really glad I ended up messaging you when you left tumblr awhile ago, because now I feel like we’ve become such good friends. ;-; You and I don’t have the best track record with friends but HEY at least now we have each other? It’s amazing though how quickly we went from strangers to good friends LMAO our personalities really work. <3 I know you’re spending today watching anime lol so ENJOY IT. I love you and happy new years! 

@haikyuusimp91​ - my law school buddy ;-; You not only support the fuck out of my stories but you are an amazing friend. anytime I have law school worries you’re always there for me and I love it so much. I appreciate all you do, even if I don’t say it enough! you put up with me and my psycho ass and honestly idk how you do it BUT I’M GLAD YOU DO. I really hope this year treats you better because you fucking deserve it all. I love you a lot, missy ;-; Sometimes I feel like you’re the older sister I never had - BUT LIKE DON’T BE WEIRDED OUT OK DFGHJKL love YOU BYE (AND HAPPY NEW YEAR) 

@aquariarose​ - my little bodyguard. I have never met anyone with a heart like yours. gold. you are fucking GOLD. at first when we didn’t talk much, I would love whenever you talked about my stories with me. because you always seemed so happy about them and it would make my whole day!! I love talking with you daily and hearing about your life, because honestly girl you living in a shoujo manga LMAO. GO GET YOUR MAN OKAYYYYY hahah I love you sm!! I hope you have a great new years! 

@bloody-bella - BELLA OH BELLAAAA, MY SWEET BELLAAAA. hi. :D can I start off by saying you have a cute af voice? like excuse? okay back to the point, YOU. your support is why I was able to finish my stories TRUST ME. your little cute comments and asks, it gave me the courage to * write * LOL. I’m so glad that you joined my among us game and started talking with me more ;-; because I really do wanna get to know you more!! I feel like we may lowkey be twinsies in odd ways ;) BUT I hope you have a lovely new years eve my love!! <3 

@yourstarvic - vic the hoe ho. somehow you went from this funny girl with a CRINGE ass UN to one of my good friends?? Your support for my stories has always meant so much to me. I’m always looking forward to hearing your thoughts and listening to you scream about shit LOL. I’m glad we started talking more, because I love your company. Even when you’re telling me something weird af or being horny for NO ASS REASON. You’re a weird one but I love ya. Have a happy new year! 

@nerdyphantomlady​​ - my angel of music! you are sucha joy. I adore you so much. I’m really glad that I started talking with you more because you’re sO DAMN CUTE. talking with you melts my heart because you’re just this small ADORABLE BEAN WHO I LOVE. I know you don’t understand iT BUT I AM RIGHT. I know you’re worried about your test coming up but I know 2021 is gonna be your year! MWAH. I love you and happy new year! 

@pha2nt0m​​ - gOSH I just need to tell you that you were the reason I was able to finish “let’s do it again” your support means the world to me!! you’re so damn sweet and supportive like idk what I would have done without you??? so thank you so much. I really hope this new year brings you happiness, success and good health!! <33

@newfriendjen​​​ - Jen, I love you WHAT THE HECK. You were one of my first followers, in the early days ;-; and you supported me with your whole heart and I CAN NEVER SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH. The thing that I love about you is that you’re not one of those cocky asshole writers who think they’re god’s DFGHJ like you are kind, supportive of others and talented? like SHIT??? you deserve everything because you are the whole package!! you are honestly the ideal - AAAH. I love this new year brings you love and happiness!! <3 

@sugawarabby​​​​ - my lovely, we’ve spoken only a handful of times but each time meant a lot to me! you’re a true delight and I really wish you the best for the next year. I know 2020 wasn’t the best for you but you deserve a happy, love-filled 2021. MWAH. <3

@vicassa​​​ - my love, you and your support to my stories is unmatched. I know you think that spamming me would bother me but it never did! I loved talking with you and hearing about your days. when you’re less busy, come talk with me again, hm? Because I loved talking with you. You’re a sweet sweet little bean and I adore you so very much. ;-; But happy new year!! 

@hyskoa1998​​ - hi my love. our schedules rarely match up but I always loved reading your reactions and talking with you ;-; I hope we can talk more this year because I really do wanna be your friend IF YOU WILL HAVE ME. But happy new year! I hope it’s an amazing one. 

@tsukkismamagucci​​​ - your comments on every single smau - GOLD. everything you post is just so funny or accurate!! everytime your name popped up in my notifications I would be so excited!! or whenever you sent me asks my heart would make some weird ass noises. ;-; so thank you for being so wonderful. I love you and happy new year!! 

@kara-grayson04​​ - one of my first friends on here, and a whole ass little fighter! Thank you for supporting me in my early days on my writing account and for spamming me with funny stuff! you’re someone with a bright future ahead of you and I really wish you the best for 2021! 

@chibishae34​​​ - MY OIKAWA PROTECTION SQUAD BUDDY. I have told you this before but again, you are too good for this world and me. I can’t believe you’ve been here since my first smau and it took me so long to start talking with ya. :( that’s my regret for the year. I wish we started talking sooner because you’re sucha joy. thank you for being the amazing person you are though, your support and friendship mean so much to me. I hope you have an amazing 2021. MWAH. 

@chocolaterumble​​ - you’re not even on tumblr anymore eh? BUT when you see this, know that I appreciated everything you did for me and our conversations. you’re a kind idiot who really needs to develop a backbone. :)) I say that in the nicest way possible :* Just know 2021 is YOUR year, so make it your bitch. you can have the whole world if you try putting your effort into things that matter. just learn to believe in yourself, aLRIGHT? because you’re fucking awesome. 

@dope-squish​​​​ - one, wHERE THE HECK ARE YOU? I hope you’re okay and safe. ;-; I miss you. it’s not the same without youuu. who else will make my day with funny reactions and memes? but for when you do read this, thank you for being...you. You are so unique, funny and just talented. idk. you’re spectacular like spiderman. thank you for being my friend and supporting me. I hope the new year treats you well. <3 love ya! 

@swoonhui​​​ - my silly love! thank you for supporting me through it all and trusting me with your troubles. I always love seeing messages from you or asks, because you really are wonderful and likeee I WANT TO PROTECT. haha. I hope you’re having a safe and happy new years eve, missy!! Stay happy. I love you. 

@astronomyturtle​​ - shout out for being one of my first supporters and for being a full on badass!! hahaha. no but really. you are amazing, and I really want to thank you for everything. you supported my shit stories and my good ones, and that really means so much. I hope you have a great new years!! 

@dreamstormings​​ - hellooo, I just wanted to thank you for your support. it means sosososo much to me. and regarding the stuff we talked about recently, everything you said just demonstrates what a wonderful person you are. thank you for ... existing >:) and happy new year! <3 

@rajablast​​ - hii, I just wanted to thank you for always sending me kind and sweet asks ;-; it really means a lot to me. I hope you have an amazing new years eve or new years day!! <3 

@elianetsantana​ - hii. ;-; I know we only started talking recently but it made me really happy so pls don’t be weirded out by me adding you here. <3 I hope in the new year we can talk moree! because you seem super lovely. ;-; 

[roccinan]

1/? simply because you have the most galaxy brain thoughts ever,,, what do you think would've happened if they waited until s5 to reveal sergio and andrés were (half)brothers?

i do know that when my fam started watching lcdp at first i was so put off. like i watched ep 1 and the prof creeped me out. ""berlin"" creeped me out. e v e r y o n e creeped me out. and i was cringing so hard becz of the short lived romance angle with alison parker. i literally did not watch s1 at all xcept for like sneak peeks. highlights being the scene where berlin discovers monica is alive and does his dramatic door by door thing? that was so SUSPENSEFUL even tho i had no idea what was going on. DOMINGO DE RESURECCION remains forever iconic.

2/? And OF COURSE the group bella ciao dance when they hit earth (hahah i thought the banda were actually like a "found family where they all love each other LOL") i am a SUCKER for found family. but anyhoo when i properly got intrigued was s2 when tokyo was kicked out (the music from that scene is still my favourite) it's just so dramatic..!! why am i telling u all this again? right, i haven't slept a wink and it's nearly 7 am pls forgive me if these rambles make no sense. i have a point with this.. i'm going somewhere

RIGHT. so when the fam actually rewound the ep cz i wanted to know WHY berlin did that (didn't fully realise how batsht crazy he can be), the russian roulette scene played. and pedro's acting. MAN. and like just that ep they made a point of showing us these flashbacks where sergio and andrés hug....

Hi anon! Thanks for stopping by- sorry took me a while to get back to you, will do my best to answer this string of messages (got all 4 parts)! Glad you like my thoughts XD

Firstly, I believe Andres/Sergio would be the biggest LCDP ship if the writers were evil enough to wait until s5 to reveal that they’re brothers asdfasdf. They’re already the two most popular male characters anyway. 

It’d be especially crazy because it’s not like they tell the actors these things beforehand either. So that means there’d probably be a Serdres vs Berlermo vs Serquel fight every 5 minutes. I mean, even if not everyone agrees on everything in the lcdp fandom, it’s the most “peaceful” one I’ve ever been in because no character really gets in the way of any other ship (like even with helermo and berlermo there’s no true conflict since Andres is dead). But with Serdres in the mix?? CATASTROPHE. Everyone out here writing essays about how much of a bastard/bitch/homewrecker/motherfucker that Andres or Sergio or Martin or Raquel is. Never a moment’s peace!! so basically, a regular fandom lmao.

Then when we find out they’re brothers, it goes from catastrophe to Apocalypse. Suddenly serquel and berlermo have the upper hand. Everyone would double down and harass the crew/cast into whatever’s going on.  Plot-wise, everything is the same though, just without Andres calling Sergio “hermanito.” Fandom however, would be a minefield! And I’m glad that’s not the case because I’d probably be an unfortunate serdres shippers XD No joke, my mother and I thought they were a couple in S1. So bullet dodged!

Secondly: haha, everyone creeped me out in S1 too, especially Berlin, I hated him, but thinking back, I think I mostly hated the fact that I didn’t hate him as much as I should have. I’ve made peace with it now but oh boy, was he a controversial figure in my head. I actually like the professor on sight though! IDK why, maybe because I thought his plans were cool or because of Alvaro’s delivery. I was afraid of an Alison Parker romance thing too- like, I do feel like she had a storyline that got dropped, but that part was quite cringey and overall unnecessary to the plot. Same with Ariadna, which was even cringier and even Less necessary to the plot. 

Domingo de resurrecion was iconic though yes! And even with all that said, I genuinely enjoyed parts 1 and 2 because it was so different from anything else I’d seen. Not content wise, but maybe tonally? IDK, they were just really bold with a lot of things, like being objectively unafraid of having the protagonists (plural because all of them did LMAO) do objectively shitty things. Really kept me in suspense from beginning to end! 

I’m usually a big fan of found families too! The funny thing is, then banda never struck me as a “family” until season 3. In 1 and 2, I was wondering what felt different about this show; then it hit me that these people remained colleagues to the end. Like, they backstabbed each other (repeatedly) and everyone was quite selfish, and only the bonds that were already there stuck. They were the opposite of a found family LOL But I think by S3, they went down the found family route and I didn’t mind because it makes quite a lot of sense for them to feel that bond after the Mint heist and almost dying/living together (and having witnessed 3 deaths together on the team). But I still doubt Berlin and Palermo were ever really part of this found family, with good reason XD

LOL the scene where Tokyo got kicked out is also among my favorites!! It was so funny and dramatic, and it was like, wow we can go anywhere with this now! Don’t worry- your rambles and thoughts are always welcome :D

I’m rolling over how you watched the Tokyo expulsion scene before the Russian Roulette scene haha. Also yes, PEDRO. Berlin may have been “controversial” to me at first, but I became Pedro’s fan from day one! Also the Hug is probably what made me like Berlin (despite my determination to hate him rip) in the first place. 

3/? ... and like now that i think about it... tokyo had real guts huh. like she KNEW berlin was close enough to el prof to know his name (fhshshs imagine if she'd heard andrés saying 'hermanito' it's unrealistic that she didn't TBH. i mean obviously they decided to make them brothers only towards the end but like in canon universe. how tf did andrés de 'i raised my bby brother since he was 12 and i'd actually die for him and his stupidly brilliant plans' fonollosa go 5 months without slipping up once and calling sergio hermanito. or like,,, i like to imagine sergio kinda gave him lots of leeway(?) sergio's a lil oblivious too but like i'm sure half of it is.. that's my dumbass older bro shut up i'm not being partial you all have city names .. andr-berlin, pass the salt. like OOF. + sergio also knew his big bro was dYiNG so like. i'm sure they were sneaking in some quality time (i hope they did 😭 gosh imagine if sergio really did not ever consider the possibility of andrés dying in the heist so he'd tell himself he needs to perfect the plan now & anyway he'll have enough time to spend w/ his brother post heist in philippines. and then ... that happened :/

Tokyo has guts in place of braincells you bet that she’d do something like this, consequences be damned XD I also think it’s unrealistic for Andres not to slip up, but I have a feeling nobody besides Tokyo really tried to spy on them in private. I headcanon that Andres instead slips up and does things like ruffle Sergio’s hair or adjust his tie when other people are around. I also think Tokyo was convinced that they were a gay couple when she saw them hug XD And if Sergio never went on to tell the banda that Berlin was his brother, everyone would be giving Palermo such awkward looks after Nairobi accused him of being in love with Berlin LMAO. 

I agree! I also imagine Sergio giving Andres leeway because he’s just so used to interacting with his brother that way haha. So either he’d go out of his way to ignore Berlin in front of everyone else or IDK, borderline telepathically communicate with him. Not even “pass the salt” has to leave his mouth- Berlin just puts salt into his food and cuts it up for him, in front of everyone who’s just staring like O.O

I actually do think Sergio never considered the possibility of Andres dying in the heist because he was just that confident in his own plan. Plus, Andres was probably the one person he expected to survive. And a lot of it has to do with Sergio’s attachment to him + Andres’ own habit of downplaying any illness/injury over the years, which I think is safe to believe canon. He was really in no condition to be in the heist, let alone lead it. Just the fact that he needs to take those injections is a big sign that he shouldn’t be there, but Sergio didn’t catch it because he’s human and blinded by faith :’) So yeah, I think Sergio was planning to spend proper time with Andres in Palawan and at Toledo, they just settled for those little moments by the fireplace. 

4/? what always also just GETS me in the feels is that el prof was shown to be this in control creepily calm dude who is miles ahead of everyone. + in the 1st Toledo class itself we see how detached,, like how impersonal he is, how professional - choosing frickin CITY NAMES?! no 'personal relationships' ? (after recruiting his older brother, a father son pair, and war cousins... oh sergio 😂 he's such a frickin nerd and i love him) but like the earlier seasons really emphasised how robotic and down right COLD he can be. it still sometimes bothers me that he put the button in the car. he lead the police to his own damn brother, his blood, who took care of him and adopted him and was terminally ill and like - UGH i try to rationalise that sergio is that cold and unbothered. or that he has strict morals. but it still bothers me becz that button really sort of tipped andres' already unstable sanity. like andrés tells denver someth like you've robbed my future and after that he just seems so much more suicidal and accepting that he can't get out of the mint alive - WHY SERGIO WHY. I KNOW THAT AT THAT POINT YOU BASICALLY DIDN'T KNOW ANDRÉS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR BROTHER YET BECZ IT WASN'T WRITTEN IN THE SCRIPT BUT WHYYYYY

That’s so funny to me too LMAO No personal relationships, then he recruits these guys. Sergio, hello?? Also can’t forget how he just recruited his own girfrleind in the second heist too. Buddy! Love this nerd.

I don’t think that cold aspect of Sergio went away in later seasons either; he just had more opportunity to show a more open side of himself + without Andres, he had to metaphorically leave his comfort zone without a safety net. But in earlier seasons, he really did seem heartless at times XD Then again, we can argue that the same goes for Andres.

To be fair, I didn’t feel sorry for Andres over the button thing lol, but once the brothers reveal happened and all of Alvaro/Pedro’s headcanons came out and we know everything Andres did for Sergio, it makes what Sergio did REALLY harsh. We really just have to explain it through Sergio’s strict morals and him believing this to be the best non-fatal punishment for Andres, who at that point had convinced him he killed a hostage. And because he knew the television interview was coming up, maybe Sergio assumed Andres would use it to “clear” his name anyway. And empathy isn’t one of Sergio’s strong suits either, so through that lens, I can rationalize it.

Also it was lowkey funny to me how Andres was there like DENVER MUST DIE until he found out Sergio put the button there, then he was like “oh hermanito, you and your practical jokes <3″

Still, like you said, Andres and Sergio weren’t brothers yet at this point. They were probably supposed to be lovers lmao and had a dysfunctional Hannibal Lecter x Will thing going on. But because they made #hermanos canon, that button moment just feels very out of place now, especially given how much the two genuinely love each other.

Guess we could also say that Sergio’s just generally kinda bratty with Andres XD Like, he knows no matter what, Andres would forgive him anything. That’s how I see it anyway! 

[harmonization]

Ao3 tag game

Thanks @creamypudding for tagging me! 🙌

1. How many works do you have on AO3? As of today, the official count is 69 (lol) but some of these entries are collections comprised of multiple drabbles/ficlets.

2. What is your total AO3 word count? Right now it’s at 369,836!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 18 listed so far. Most common ones are FFVII, True Blood, Daiya No Ace, FFXV and Bleach with the rest kind of being one-off fandoms where I fulfilled one-time fic requests for friends etc.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? spyglass in reverse - 1,723 kudos it rains ashes on golgotha - 1,667 kudos like hawks over eden - 1,376 kudos pas de deux in print - 1,124 kudos a chronicle of the sun - 1,024 kudos

All of the above fics are Daiya No Ace except for Golgotha, which is FFVII.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? ALWAYS. Every. Single. One, without fail. I feel awful if I don’t - these readers literally took time out of their day to let me know what they thought of my work. Literally the least I could do is to show my gratitude and appreciation for their feedback. (I always take the extra step and address everything that their comment mentions, too, just to show that I care about / am actually absorbing what they’re saying and it’s not some throwaway compliment that I don’t care about).

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Heartbeat (Bleach). It’s my only fic with character death I think haha.

7. Do you ever write crossovers? Nah, it’s too much for my brain to handle. It’s the same reason why I can’t write smut involving more than two people at once - keeping track of two people’s body parts is already hard enough, once you get to three and above it’s a nightmare 😂

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not like, flame (is that term still used? 😂 I’m old af) or trolling kinda hate, but I’ve had my share of pretty severe criticisms. I’ve had someone say my work was cringe. Someone else has mentioned my work was unreadable 😢

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do! So far I’ve only written (cis) M/M smut, because I’m not too confident writing anything else (including het lol) just yet - I’ll need to build my skills on those eventually though. and I like writing frottage/masturbation/mutual masturbation the most, although I’ve written pretty standard anal as well.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but this is the Internet, so anything’s possible 😬

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I tried once, with an IRL friend, and we never finished it. I’d definitely like to collab with a fellow writer on a project one day though! That sounds super fun!

12. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Genesis/Sephiroth (FFVII), without question. They’re literally the only ship that I still think about at least once a day every day for years now. I’ve yet to write any fic for them, but I still think about them a lot to this day ❤

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Digimon! Digimon was the first fandom I ever read fic in too, haha.

14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Oh gosh, it’s kinda hard to say. As of now, it’s probably a tie between: it rains ashes on golgotha (FFVII) he walked the bethsaida parable (FFXV) ticking time bomb in their chests (Ace Attorney)

These are the fics I consider my “giants” - the long novella-length oneshots that took a lot of effort, blood, sweat, tears and love!

This was a fun ask meme! I won’t tag anyone (since I have way too many writer friends and I don’t want anyone to miss out) so if you see this post, consider yourself tagged :)

[boylebingo]

fic writers tag

@montygreen​ tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :) 

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today 

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day! 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :) 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known. 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen! 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to. 

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it! 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.  

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 6: Why so Blue? (originally published on January 11, 2021)

Author's Note: This is one chapter I've been excited to write. In my opinion, Lapis is my favorite character because aside from having cool powers and being pretty, I also relate to her a lot because I've been through a lot of suffering like her. Though thankfully, I wasn't caught up in warfare, trapped in a mirror for thousands of years, and finally released only to be trapped in a walking, talking abusive relationship under the sea; just some standard bullying by people who love pushing my buttons, being framed for something I obviously didn't do that forced me to drop out of my first high school following first semester of freshman year. But enough about my life story, onto my #1 Gem waifu!

Synopsis: Steven and Lapis try to confront a pair of Lapises that continue terraforming worlds.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli, Mean Lapis, Nice Lapis

Amy Sedaris as Blue Zircon

--

"Thanks for the help Lapis." Steven thanked Lapis Lazuli as they planted some new flowers in his conservatory. "These blue hyacinth flowers really tie the place together."

"You're welcome, Steven," Lapis replied with a smile. "Peridot helped me pick these out from the greenhouse. You know, it's funny. The two of us didn't get along at first, me more than Peridot to be honest, but thanks to you, we're basically inseparable."

"Aw shucks Lapis, was nothing." Steven blushed, just as the communication console nearby began to light up. "Hang on, I think this one's for me."

When Steven turned it on, a particular Gem who he barely got to know greeted him. "Oh hey, you're that Zircon from my trial! How are things?"

"Going pretty good." The defense Zircon answered. "Ever since the other Zircon and I were unbubbled at the start of Era 3, we've left our lawyer days behind in favor of politics. With the Diamonds essentially no longer in power, Homeworld had decided to turn to democracy when the caste system was dissolved."

"It's nice to hear some more good news," Lapis interjected. "but why did you call us?"

"Oh yes, that." Blue Zircon realized before she conjured up a hologram with her monocle. "Rumor has it that despite the caste system's end, there are at least two Gems who continue to terraform regardless of the end of colonization. Last we heard, they were busy remodeling the former Blue Diamond colony Aozul 2."

"Wait, terraform?" Lapis said with surprise at the mention of her old duties. "Are they other Lapis Lazulis by any chance?"

"Yes, that is why I contacted you today." Blue Zircon continued explaining. "Why do you ask?"

"I think I might remember them from when I was a terraformer." Lapis revealed, before she turned to the Warp Pad. "That's why I'm coming with you, Steven."

"Alright then." Steven agreed. "Who knows? Maybe we can get them to come to Little Homeschool."

"I'm not too sure about that, Steven." Lapis nervously replied before they stepped on the Warp Pad and activated it, taking off for Aozul 2.

--

On the other Warp Pad that dropped Steven and Lapis off was Aozul 2, a gorgeous-looking moon orbiting a yellow planet thriving with unique wildlife. Though the pair was amazed by the nature around them, they still had a mission to do.

"Let's not get distracted, this may not take long." Steven said as he stepped off the Pad. "Most Gems come around pretty quickly when I invite them to Little Homeworld in person."

"What a beautiful place." Lapis muttered in awe, distracting her from the strange little native creature they almost stepped on. "Wait!"

Looking down, Steven and Lapis found a cute flower bud-like alien with its petals opened up. "Whoa, thanks for the save Lapis." Steven thanked his blue buddy before kneeling to pet the creature. "Hey, little buddy."

The creature closed its petals in fright and raced into a nearby bush, making more of its kind nervously emerge in front of Steven. "It's okay Flower Buddies." He chuckled at his name for the creatures as they began to crawl all over him, now no longer seeing the boy as a danger. "Haha, whoa now!"

"Wow, Steven, it took you all of five seconds to make a new friend. You must be getting rusty." Lapis commented as she approached the Flower Buddy resting in Steven's arms and began to pet it gently. "You know, I used to never notice creatures like this. Before arriving on Earth, I used to not think twice about terraforming, never taking a moment to appreciate what I was destroying." The Buddy smiled at Lapis and began to open its petals for her as well. "Life is so precious. And these guys remind me of Pumpkin in particular."

The other Buddies began to blossom, only to just as quickly close up their petals as the silhouette of a figure similar to Lapis zoomed over them.

"Uh, Steven?" Lapis brought her friend's attention to the figures flying around and conjuring up water to cause untold chaos upon Aozul 2.

After putting the Flower Buddy down, Steven made his way to the edge of a cliff to get a better look at the pair. From what he could gather, one of the Lapides had her gemstone on her stomach, darker colored skin and hair than the one he knew, the hair was done up in a ponytail, and had gold-colored freckles on her cheeks. The other Lapis had her gem on her shoulder, light azure skin, and medium-blue curly hair.

"So, the rumors were true." Steven wondered as the pair of Lapises continued their path of destruction, laughing all the way.

"You think that Zircon called us because they didn't get your message?" Lapis asked Steven while gazing upon the terraformers' progress.

"I'm sure they did." Steven replied assuredly. "Everyone did, but I'll try and get them to stop."

"This may be harder than you think." Lapis added as her fellow Lazulis flew closer to the pair, using their powers to cut a massive rock in half and terrifying the Flower Buddies.

"Hey, stop!" Steven called to the blue Gems, who reacted to their work's sudden intrusion by preparing to launch a massive tidal wave at the pair. Steven was ready however, and defended himself and Lapis with his shield.

"Wait, that's Steven Universe!" the ponytailed Lapis cried as she grabbed her partner's arm. "And is that who I think it is with him?"

"He's smaller than I thought." The curly-haired Lapis replied when she came to the same realization as her fellow Lazuli. "No way!"

"You guys!" Lapis squealed in delight, causing the other two to cheer happily as well. "Oh my gosh, it's been ages!" she yelled as the two Lapises raced down to hug her. "I haven't seen you two since I was sent down to Earth!"

"Wait, you all know each other?" Steven asked the three terraformers.

"Yeah, we go way back with ol' 3E8C-4XF here." The stomach gem Lapis remarked. "That's her facet and cut, by the way. I'm 2F8D-9ZE, and Curls here is 1J9G-5KL."

"Yeah, the three of us were an unstoppable terraforming trio back in the day." 1J9G-5KL snidely explained with a flip of her hair. "Tearing planets apart, taking names, and looking cool while doing it!"

"But then I was given a solo mission to Earth, which was how I got caught up in the Rebellion, and here we are." Lapis continued for her old friends.

"We're just so glad you're okay!" 2F8D-9ZE exclaimed happily. "So anyway, what do you think? We're just about almost done with this world. Exemplary work, no?"

"And we don't need the extra help." 1J9G-5KL said meanly. "So it was nice catching up, but please, ta-ta."

"Look, we came here because you gotta stop." Steven explained to the Lapides. "The Diamonds don't control you anymore. Didn't you get my message?"

"Yeah, we did." Freckles nodded.

"So, you don't have to terraform for them anymore." Steven continued. "You're free to do whatever you want now! In fact, we want to offer you the chance to come learn at Little Homescho-"

"Oh, so this is all some big misunderstanding?" Freckles interrupted Steven.

"This has got to be a joke." Curls rolled her eyes. "Like, terraforming is what we like to do, and now you're saying we shouldn't do it anymore?!"

"Oh, here we go." Lapis groaned. "1J9G was always pretty passionate about her work."

"You're getting it wrong." Steven tried to ease the tension. "You can do whatever you like! As long as nothing gets destroyed and nobody gets hurt."

"That's not what you said a sec ago!" Curls pointed out. Freckles tried to speak, but Curls shushed her by forcing her mouth shut with a finger. "Are you listening to yourself right now?"

"Why should we stop?" Freckles lowered Curls' finger to ask.

"Because it's wrong!" Lapis answered, becoming irritated with her former partners' behavior.

"Wait, wait, wait." Freckles said, gesturing to the destruction she and Curls caused. "How can what we were made to do suddenly be soo-oo taboo now? At least let us get back to work, we're almost done with Aozul 2 here!"

"Team huddle?" Steven nervously muttered to Lapis.

"Team huddle." Lapis replied, slowly retreating into the cobalt-leafed forest away from the other Lapides. "We'll be back with you in a bit, girlfriends."

--

"You're right. This is harder than usual." Steven said to Lapis as they hid in the bushes.

"You've gotta force them to stop." Lapis suggested while spying on her old friends from the foliage. "This is definitely gonna be a fight. They're not nice like what I became. 1J9G was always the alpha of our little trio, ordering us around and treating lower-ranked Gems like trash. 2F8D, on the other hand was more of the follower, as loyal to 1J9G as a Pearl is to their Diamond. I, on the other hand, was essentially the third wheel, mostly existing to follow along with them."

"So you guys were basically high school mean girls?" Steven compared Lapis's former situation to fiction. "Did any of you play the Gem version of croquet in your spare time, or wear pink on Wednesdays?"

"This is nothing like those movies, Steven." Lapis stated.

"Well maybe like those girls in the movies, they just don't know what they're doing isn't nice." Steven tried to assure his azure friend. "You get it, what made things click for you?"

"A cycle of horrible torture that I came close to repeating myself." Lapis gravely answered, much to Steven's fright. "But also like, living in nature and making meep morps."

"Yeah, that's it!" Steven cheered quietly. "Come on, we can do that for them."

"C'mon, not even a little torture?" Lapis asked while squeezing her hands together.

"No torture, just the other stuff." Steven decided against any lethal force before he and Lapis returned to the water Gems.

--

"Geez, what's taking those two so long?" the Mean Lapis asked impatiently while waiting for Steven and her fellow Lapis to return.

"I'm starting to get wet here." The Nice Lapis added, prompting her curly-haired buddy to turn to her with a raised eyebrow of disbelief. "I'm trying to make it a catchphrase. It depends on the context, in this case, I'm getting bored."

"Well, I urge you not to make that happen." 1J9G commanded, just as Steven and Lapis finally reemerged from the bushes, waving to them while walking backwards. "Oh, look who finally decided to come back."

"Okay, we've come to a decision." Steven declared. "Why don't we show you fun things you can do on Earth other than causing mass destruction?"

"Should we listen to him?" 1J9G asked 2F8D.

"He's only half-Diamond, so maybe we should half-listen to him." 2F8D suggested.

"I'll take that as a yes." Steven answered, trying to hide his eye twitching at being called a mere half-Diamond, before taking the two terraformers into the forest. "Let's go."

--

Once within the extraterrestrial woods, Steven began to show the Lapides around, trying to get them to appreciate the beauty of nature. "It's a beautiful day here. Fresh air, pretty trees, peaceful wildlife. Any life-changing epiphanies yet?"

"It's so bright." 2F8D observed as she gazed directly into the sun.

"No duh, Too-Eff." 1J9G rudely replied while poking on a leaf with a stick. "I only prefer two colors, rocks and mud. Right?"

"Well, I have to admit," 2F8D said as she continued looking at the sun. "that sun is a real pretty shade of-"

"I said, right 2F8D?" 1J9G cut her friend off.

"Uh yeah, rocks and mud!" 2F8D laughed nervously, her pupils rapidly darting around while holding her hands behind her back.

"I understand you don't see the beauty with this, but I know you will with time, girls." Lapis said. "There was a time where I didn't appreciate organic life as well, much like you guys. But I learned of how beautiful it can be. Maybe you can try something like this."

Gazing at the small puddle of mud in front of her, Lapis began to conjure up a strange shape from the wet dirt.

"This is what we call art, or in Lapis's terms, a meep morp." Steven demonstrated. "And it can be made out whatever you want to be, whether it be nature or just random junk you find lying around."

"So you can do whatever you want with your powers," 1J9G asked. "but you choose to make junk."

"It doesn't have to be like that." Lapis answered, continuing to toy with the mud. "You can make anything with a little imagination."

As an example, Lapis shifted the mud to take the form of a lawnchair for Steven to sit on, along with a drink and sunglasses. When Steven drank out of the mud-made cup, he immediately spat it out.

"So lifelike, I almost forgot!" Steven exclaimed in realization as the mud fell apart.

"That's it?" 1J9G muttered with a tilt of her head.

"It's more satisfying than you think it is." Lapis claimed. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

"But what can we make?" 2F8D asked, scratching her chin as she examined the wilderness around them.

"Didn't you listen, dummy?" 1J9G responded while conjuring up some water. "They said we could make anything!"

"Right, anything!" 2F8D said as the two turned the water into the shape of a ball. "I totally knew that."

"That's it!" Lapis cheered for her former friends. "Try making some other shapes, it can be anything you want!"

The Lapides listened as they made the water ball grow spikes before flattening it into a sawblade that they tossed in-between Steven & Lapis, cutting down a mountain behind them in two.

"Wow, you just made our jobs easier!" 1J9G cackled and pointed at the fallen rock behind the two Crystal Gems.

"We'll have this planet cleaned up in no time!" 2F8D agreed with a laugh.

"Steven, this isn't working." Lapis muttered fearfully, prompting Steven to try something else.

"Looks like you two still have some energy to let out." Steven laughed. "Maybe you should try something more physical, like dancing!"

"Dance?" 1J9G wondered while Steven pulled out his phone. "And what is that thing in your hand?"

"Just watch us." Steven stated as he turned on some funky music for he and Lapis to dance to on his phone, as another demonstration to the Lapides. Although 1J9G was unimpressed, she noticed 2F8D starting to get into the groove as she swayed her arms from side to side.

Steven and Lapis took this as a breakthrough and continued dancing to the music, but then their gems started to glow by complete accident. "WHOA!" they exclaimed in unison, stopping their dance to keep the glowing down.

"Almost fused there, Lapis." Steven chuckled.

"Yeah, wouldn't want a repeat of Peridot." Lapis replied.

"Uh, who's Peridot?" 1J9G asked while ordering 2F8D to stop dancing with a mean look.

"Only Lapis's best friend!" Steven exclaimed with a hand on his Lapis's shoulder.

"Yeah, you can meet all types of people on Earth, humans and Gems." Lapis said. "Peridot and I got off on the wrong foot because when we first met, I was basically her hostage in an invasion of Earth." She continued explaining. "But over time, we grew closer thanks to Steven's influence and even had our own home in this little barn, but then due to circumstances I'd rather not get into at the moment, we just kinda drifted apart for a bit. We did eventually get back together, but when Little Homeschool first started, we unfortunately didn't have as much time to enjoy our shared inter-"

Before Lapis could finish, the other Lapises started laughing. "Really, you and a low-class Gem like a Peridot?!" 1J9G guffawed, forcing the primary Lapis to scowl at the pair.

"What's next, an Aquamarine fusing with a Ruby?!" 2F8D let out a loud wheeze.

"Funny story, actually." Steven began, but 1J9G cut him off.

"Look, we don't wanna hear anymore, kid." The Lapis snarked. "We know you want to do what's best for everyone or some stupid stuff like that, but we decided on what's best for us, and that's terraforming." She stated. "Now, please, run along back to your little school before you make me slap your face off."

"Geez, Jay-Nine, no need to threaten him like that." 2F8D tried to convince her pal otherwise.

"He's threatening our way of life, you clod!" 1J9G yelled at 2F8D, who reflexively knelt and cowered. "If you think a little kid like him is right, then why don't you come with them?"

"Gee, 2F8D has real bad taste in friends." Steven whispered to Lapis.

"It's like I said, One-Jay really liked to order us around." Lapis replied. "She also really doesn't like it whenever what she says gets questioned."

"Now, if you'll excuse us 3E8C," 1J9G finally said while turning away from her belligerent friend. "we're gonna go back to work, so no more interruptions."

"Y-yeah, let's get back to it!" 2F8D meekly added.

Ironically, the pair was stopped from flying away when Lapis finally spoke up. "I get it." She said to her old friends. "All this won't make you feel good right away, maybe not even at all. You guys are just afraid of change after thousands of years doing one thing, but they can help you navigates new ways of feeling. If you aren't into dancing, maybe singing would be more your speed."

Lapis prepared to demonstrate, but then she started hesitating for a bit. But thanks to some encouragement from Steven, she worked up the bravery and finally started to sing. "Oooo-ooo-oooh, why so bluuuu-uuuu-uuue? So many shades of sorrow got mixed into my hue." Lapis began. "And each new moment just astounds me, so much I wanna do. I finally feel my colors shining through."

The other Lapides began following their former friend as she gazed into her reflection in a puddle. "I'm tired of the fighting, I'm tired of the blame." Lapis continued as she reminisced on her struggles. "That mirror was a prison, and fusion was the same. What's with these new sensations that suddenly appear?! Deep as the roaring ocean, free as the atmosphere!"

Racing away from the puddle, Lapis excitedly pushed back some leaves to show her ex-partners more of Aozul 2's beauty as her song reached its high point. "Oooo-ooo-oooh, why so bluuuu-uuuu-uuue? So many different reasons, but are they really true?" Lapis began to finish as she knelt to watch the Flower Buddies surrounding her. "I wanna keep on going, wanna be right here with you. I'd love to see your colors shining throoooo-ooough." The Buddy that made its territory in Lapis's lap then blossomed for her. "I'd love to see your colors shining through."

Despite what Steven and Lapis believed the song would do, 1J9G laughed mockingly at her, and 2F8D was ordered to do the same with a poke to the elbow. "You really expect us to dance and sing like we're Pearls?!" 1J9G said derisively. "Look, Steven Universe, you already got 3E8C doing it for you! I mean, did you make her like this, or was she this much of a loser?!"

"You never bothered to ask what I liked back in the day!" Lapis angrily said before her curly-bobbed ex-friend grabbed her by the shirt collar.

"Listen 3E8C," 1J9G commanded Lapis just as angrily. "you and that so-called Diamond are going to leave this planet so we can get back to doing what we want to do, not be reconditioned into following everything you say with a dumb song! End, of, discussion."

"You don't have to be so cruel!" Steven yelled at 1J9G. "And you don't have to be such a horrible friend ei-"

"Did I stutter?" 1J9G continued as she glared daggers at Steven before turning away from him. "Come on 2F8D, let's get back to work."

"Yeah, see ya." 2F8D replied and said farewell to Steven before they flew off. "It was wet seeing you again 3E8C!"

"CONTEXT!" 1J9G yelled.

Steven was just about ready to give up, but Lapis just started angrily as her fellow Lapides got back to terraforming. "That's it!" she declared. "I've had enough of you two!"

"But, you promised we wouldn't fight!" a worried Steven reminded Lapis.

"If we had done this my way, we could've gotten this done way earlier!" Lapis replied before she flew up to her former friends. "Hey girls, that's enough!"

"Oh, look who it is." 1J9G grinned sneakily.

"You finally come to give us a hand?" 2F8D asked.

"You could say that." Lapis smiled before she spawned a pair of water hands from below, and used them to flick 1J9G and 2F8D away.

"Did she just do that?" 2F8D said, recoiling from the attack.

"Yeah, she did." 1J9G replied as she got an idea. "So, you can make hands, huh?" she said as she and her beleaguered partner formed a water hand of their own. "Okay if we try?"

The giant hand slapped Lapis away towards Steven, who summoned his shield to catch her and protect himself from the water. "Lapis," Steven cried. "are you okay?"

"I'm okay, just stay out of this!" Lapis demanded Steven before she flew back up and sprouted another pair of water wings that she turned into fists. "DORARARARARARARARARARARARA!" She yelled while unleashing her fury on 1J9G. "DORA!"

1J9G was thrust out of the sky and almost crashed onto the ground, until 2F8D caught her with a water hand.

"You alright?" 2F8D said sympathetically.

"I'm fine, you big baby." 1J9G growled and rubbed her head just as Lapis tried to restrain the two with chains made of water, but were nimbly dodged. "Water chains?"

"You really need to stop teaching us these wet new things!" 2F8D giggled, invoking another angry glare from 1J9G, before they created chains of their own to restrain Lapis and pin her to the cliff face.

"Lapis!" Steven cried for his Beach Summer Fun Buddy.

"We really gotta hand it to you." 2F8D said. "This new stuff you're showing us isn't actually useless."

Once again, the Lapides created a sawblade. But this time, instead of chopping a mountain in two, they had darker intentions for it. The blade was tossed straight at the seemingly powerless Lapis, and Steven couldn't help but watch.

"OH NO!" Steven yelled. But suddenly, the saw stopped right in front of Lapis's face and was reduced back into droplets as the earth shook around everyone. Water from all around began to surround her, washing over the other terraformers along the way as Lapis formed a massive watery figure wielding a harpoon around her.

"WHO'S DULL NOW?!" Lapis boomed, terrifying 2F8D into hugging 1J9G for protection while Lapis prepared to land the killing blow. "WHO'S PITIFUL NOW?!"

However, when Lapis turned to Steven with a sadistic grin, his disappointed expression made her realize what she's become. After the water figure fell apart, Lapis returned to the cliff's edge in exhaustion.

"You okay?" Steven asked while having one of the Flower Buddies in his arms.

"I'm fine." Lapis answered as the Buddy jumped into her embrace. "Sorry about losing control there."

As the water receded, the Lapides sat there stunned as Steven and Lapis flew down to face them.

"It's over now." Lapis declared to her ex-friends. "No more fighting. Okay?"

"Fine by me." 1J9G said with a smirk.

"Yeah, that was so wet back there!" 2F8D smiled earnestly, with Lapis giving her a confused stare this time.

"And no more terraforming too. Promise?" Lapis suggested.

"Oh, we'll do anything you say now!" 2F8D exclaimed cheerfully.

"After that ridiculous show of strength, we're at your command!" 1J9G added.

"No, that wasn't strength!" Lapis said hotly. "That was weakness! Patience takes strength; restraint takes strength!" Before Lapis could finish, she just decided to stop and walked away. "And I don't have the strength to deal with you anymore."

Before he could follow Lapis, Steven fished some brochures from his jacket pocket that he handed to the Lapides. "Here, have some Little Homeschool brochures. In case you change your mind." He offered before walking off after her.

--

After Steven and Lapis left Aozul 2, 1J9G and 2F8D sat on a rock reading through the brochures Steven gave them. While 2F8D was growing interested in the opportunities Little Homeschool had for her, 1J9G wasn't amused.

"So what, it's not just dancing and singing like Pearls?" 1J9G complained. "We have to do all this other junk too? This totally goes against what we were made for!"

"Yeah, but as Steven said, we can do whatever we want now!" 2F8D exclaimed as she pointed at some of the activities. "Like, gardening, for example! Isn't that wet?"

"Stop trying to make 'wet' happen!" 1J9G yelled. "It's never going to happen!"

After having her attempts at a catchphrase ruined, 2F8D clenched her fist and worked up some courage to tell her so-called friend the truth. "Hey, Little Homeschool also gives us opportunities to make new friends outside of our old castes. And I mean actual friends, not Gems who relentlessly pick on you for the stupidest of things."

"Is this about our bond?" 1J9G growled. "I'm totally your friend! I just have a different way of expressing it!"

"Yeah, well, Steven treats 3E8C with some level of respect and kindness!" 2F8D argued back. "You ever heard of either of those terms before?"

"This isn't funny Two-Eff." 1J9G growled. "We are not going to that stupid school. And you will stick with me, no matter what! End. Of. Discussion!"

However, 1J9G realized a bit too late that 2F8D had already left her, and was already racing to the Warp Pad with one of the Flower Buddies under her arm.

"Sorry One-Jay, but I'm going off to learn how to be nice to people!" 2F8D said rapidly before the Warp Pad took her away from Aozul 2. "OKAY, BYYYYYEEE!"

And so, 1J9G was left utterly alone on the blue-colored moon. Alone and positively furious. As she began angrily chopping down trees with her powers, a black dropship slowly dropped into Aozul's atmosphere.

--

Night fell by the time Steven and Lapis finally returned to Little Homeschool. Still guilty for giving in to her anger, Lapis sat forlornly on the Warp Pad, only for Steven to seat himself next to her.

"I wish I hadn't done that." Lapis moaned. "They just reminded me so much of myself, and how I acted in the past. All high and mighty with no regard for anyone but myself."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up." Steven gave his blue friend a comforting smile. "You've grown a lot since I first broke you out of that mirror, but everything takes time. It's not your fault those two are still stuck in their ways."

As Lapis smiled back, the Warp Pad activated once again. This time, 2F8D stood behind them, and a Flower Buddy peeked from behind her. "Hey, is this that school you were talking about?" 2F8D asked sheepishly. "One-Jay and I had a disagreement, so now I want to learn what real friends are like."

The Flower Buddy stepped up from behind 2F8D and nuzzled itself on Lapis's leg. "I also brought this little guy along as a way of saying sorry." 2F8D continued. "Hope you like him."

"I love him." Lapis said as she picked the Buddy up. "Thanks Zuli."

"Zuli?" the Lapis now known as Zuli asked.

"Yeah, 2F8D might be hard to remember." Lapis explained. "Just came up with that nickname off the top of my head. You like it?"

"I love it!" Zuli cheered. "So, when can I start school?"

"Doesn't matter." Steven answered.

"Yeah, welcome to Earth." Lapis responded.

--

Back on Aozul 2, 1J9G continued terraforming the little moon to vent her stress, leaving a trail of fallen trees and small dirt canyons in her wake.

"I can't believe that freckled clod just ditched me like that!" 1J9G shrieked furiously. "She just fell for that kid's games, and then ran off!" Amid her ranting, the curly-haired Lapis began to cry. "Is this how he gets his sick kicks, just tearing apart friendships like that?! I'm gonna make him pay for stealing my friends when I find him again!"

Just then, some of the trees 1J9G didn't chop down started rustling, frightening her. "Who's there?" she began panicking. "Did you realize you made a huge mistake and come crawling back to me?"

However, 1J9G realized she wasn't talking to 2F8D. Instead, a large, grey hand with a white topaz on the back emerged from the foliage, and reached out for her.

--

Ominous, isn't it?! This was real great to write, especially since as mentioned above, Why so Blue is my favorite episode of Future. Hope you liked how I expanded on the Lapises and their backstory, and are excited for what I got next. Because on the next chapter of Steven Universe: Alternate Future, we aren't moving onto Little Graduation, that's the start of Part 2. Instead, we get onto cut content territory with Rhodonite's backstory at last. In the meantime, I'd really like this series to get mentioned on TV Tropes like my other written works.