#Oh and Az and Luci are here too

[sunshinebingo]

OMG I LOVE THIS FIC!!! 😍 This video fits it so so well

New chapter of Hot Girl Summer on AO3

And I was feeling very productive, so I made a little trailer for it! Because... why not! Better with the sound on 🔊

All footage and music from Artlist. If you're an ACOTAR fanfic writer and might be interested in something like this, lets talk 😉

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Surprises (17)

Ah this was meant to up yesterday but then I got a little sidetracked when I came home from work. I am very sorry:((

We’ve got just a little bit of violence in this one because, it was needed, you’ll see. This happens to be a favourite of mine so I hope you enjoy<3

Surprises Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

No gif because I’m useless and I can’t find the one I wanted. Oops.

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Elain did not want to be at school, she wanted to be at home with Azriel, in bed. Preferably naked. But she was stuck here in her stupid fucking English Lit class where she was absorbing literally no information. He was perfectly fine at home she knew, his mother was there with him, but that didn’t stop her leg from bouncing nervously.

When they were finally let out, she ignored all of the curious glances she received walking out of the room. Her bump was bigger but she was wearing Az’s hoodie so no one could actually see that it had and she tried not to let her hand hold it, something she had taken to doing quite a lot recently. As she walked through the cafeteria and to their usual table, where Cass, Rhys and Lucien were already sat, more people kept looking at her oddly. Some were just curious like the ones from her class, some gave her a quick and disgusted once over and others, they just looked before turning back to their friends and giggling. Elain had to clench her hands into fists so as not to wrap her arms around herself. She would not show them how they affected her; she would not look weak in their eyes. Sitting next to Cass when she finally got to the boys, more people started openly staring at their table, and she watched as Rhys’ brows furrowed and asked with blatant confusion, “And why the fuck is every moron in this school staring at us?”

Lucien laughed from opposite her, “We aren’t that special. It’s probably you and your new scar. You are now even uglier than before.” He winked at Rhys, causing the other boy to let out a gasp and put his hand to his chest.

“Vanserra, how could you? I thought you loved me?!” He put his face in his hands and started to very obnoxiously fake cry. It was at that moment that Feyre and Nesta arrived, the former raising a brow at her boyfriend’s antics as she sat down.

“Why are you being such a drama queen, Rhysand?” Rhys threw himself at Feyre in an instant, burying his face into her neck as he gasped out between more fake sobs;

“B-babe, Lucy d-doesn’t love me any-anymore.”

Elain’s sister only rolled her eyes whilst patting his back, causing Elain to giggle, which stopped as soon as it started when a voice rang out through the cafeteria. A voice she really didn’t want to fucking deal with right now.

“Well would you look at this. Velaris High’s new ‘mommy to be’ finally decided to show her face.” They all turned to see Ianthe standing there with a hand on her hips; a smirking Tamlin at her back. Fucking bastard. Elain was frozen and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. How the fuck could that stuck up bitch know that she was pregnant? Cassian had his good arm tightly wrapped around Nesta’s waist, stopping her from getting up but he was also wincing at the way she dug her nails in. Lucien and Rhys were glaring at Tamlin and Feyre was silently seething.

Cassian tipped his head to stare at the ceiling as he groaned, “Please, please just fuck off, Ianthe. No one is in the mood for your stupid bullshit today.”

“But I’m just so curious. I was at the hospital just visiting one day, when I overheard a conversation. And then Nesta came storming out of the room. I waited for a little bit after and Tamlin’s dearest Feyre came out too. So, how did our little freak manage to get someone to even look at her, let alone put a baby in her?”

Feyre snarled from where she sat, vibrating with anger, “I am not his anything. Call my sister a freak again Ianthe, and you won’t like the consequences.”

Elain wanted to be anywhere else than here. She wanted to be at home, with Az and forget this day ever happened. Ianthe laughed, something like a hyena, and gods it was the worst sound.

“But she is a freak. A freak with a bastard baby and even better, a cripple for a baby daddy. Yeah, we heard about dear Azzie. Such a shame, he really was a looker before.” She was smirking by the end and Elain felt anger rising from the pit of her stomach. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and there was pain coursing through her hand and wrist. She shook out her fist, cursing, and looked up to see Ianthe with a hand over her nose, blood leaking through her fingers. She was also screaming.

“You fucking bitch! You broke my gods damned nose!”

Cassian had let go of Nesta who was also now on her feet, and proceeded to bang Ianthe’s head against a chair. The screeching stopped but people throughout the cafeteria were now cheering and chanting. Cassian whistled lowly, eyes dark as he watched his girlfriend. “Sweetheart, what have I told you about turning me on in public places?” Nesta simply flipped him off, making him chuckle.

Tamlin was looking between them and an unconscious Ianthe lying on the floor, opening his mouth to say something before the principal walked in. “What on earth is going on in here?” He looked at the group of them, sending someone to get the nurse when he saw Ianthe, and narrowed his eyes at Elain. She was still shaking out her slightly throbbing fist. “My office, right now.” Turning on the spot, he gestured with a hand for her to move forward, following behind her as she did as she was told. There were faint murmurings of Rhys saying, “Who knew Lain had such fire?” as she walked away. It was only then that she allowed her hand to drop, curving her hand around her steadily growing stomach, hand rubbing against the side. Her brows furrowed when it felt like something was tickling her and pressed her hand down a little harder. She gasped when it happened again, eyes widening as a shocked smile spread across her face.

Her little girl was moving.

Elain dragged her hand downwards and her girl followed. It took everything she had to not let herself cry with joy. Her girl made her presence known right when Elain needed her most.

Mama is here baby girl. I’ve got you, my littlest one.

She held her head high and back straight as she walked into the principal’s office, proud of herself. She had defended herself, the man that she loved and that wonderful little miracle they’d created together. She had defended her family.

Just as she always would.

oOoOo

Azriel peered up over his book from where he was sitting on the sofa, watching as his family walked through the front door of the house, all of them laughing loudly. Cass and Rhys both had an arm each looped through one of Elain’s as she giggled at them. Feyre and Nesta came through just behind them, both smiling wide as they watched the trio in front of them. Cassian let go of her to flop down next to him and Rhys twirled Elain before bringing her close, singing a random song off tune as he danced with her. Azriel felt a small twinge of jealousy at the sight, but it was overpowered by the happiness he felt as he watched her. This was the brightest she’d been in almost a week and his heart soared.

His brother nudged him with an elbow, his whole body twitching with how giddy he was. “Oh dearest brother, you would never guess what kind of day we’ve had.”

“No I can’t, but I’m assuming it was a good one?” He didn’t take his eyes off of his girlfriend, who seemed to be glowing with all of the excitement. He wanted nothing more than to get up and take her into his own arms, he ached to do so. He pushed it down and finally tore his eyes away, meeting hazel eyes similar to his own.

“Ianthe knows about the baby.” Azriel’s eyes went wide at that before abruptly spun back to Elain, but she didn’t seem bothered by it, didn’t look like she cared one bit.

“How the hell could she possibly fucking know? You can’t even see Elain’s bump when she’s wearing baggy clothes.”

Nesta spoke up; returning from where she’d disappeared into the kitchen, bottle of water in one hand and Elain’s vitamins in the other, handing them both off to his girlfriend. “She was at the hospital the day Elain collapsed, lurking around like a creepy loser after I stormed out to come and beat your ass.” There was no heat behind the words and she even winked at him. “She called Elain a freak, the baby a bastard and then you a cripple.” His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at that. He couldn’t give two fucks about what people thought of him, but that was his girl and his baby. The anger inside of him had clearly transformed the look on his face because Rhys nodded at the sight.

“That was your girl’s thoughts exactly because the next thing we knew, Elain was out of her seat and punching Ianthe square in the nose.” Pride over took him then at the image it provided him. His beautiful Ellie all fired up. As he looked at her he could see the pride she too felt about herself, but her lips were also formed into a shy smile. His girlfriend was not violent, never had been. She was kind, loving and so amazingly sweet; it was part of the reason he’d fallen in love with her. The opposite of him but she also matched him perfectly.

“That’s my girl.” He breathed the words with such awe, watching the way Elain flushed at the praise, from her cheeks, down her neck and then it disappeared, hidden by the clothes she was wearing. Azriel didn’t need to see though, he knew exactly what it would look like from their times together. Part of his anatomy stirred at the thought of getting her naked again, making that flush spread all over. Thought of the way she’d gasp and bite her lip when he traced it gently with his fingertips. He shook his head of the thoughts when Elain spoke softly, the first time since they’d all gotten home.

“Could the rest of you give us a minute please?” Both Rhys and Cassian turned to look at him, both of them with matching, shit eating grins on their faces as they wiggled their brows. Feyre and Nesta rolled their eyes at the pair, forcefully dragging their boyfriends’ from the room despite their protests. When they were alone, Elain slowly walked over to stand in front of him where he was sitting, holding her hands out to him. He raised his own and placed them in hers, feeling the way she squeezed gently before her beautiful voice filled the room again. “I know it’s awful of me but before today, sometimes I regretted that night we shared.” His face fell at the confession and he went to pull his hands away, but Elain only gripped his hands tighter.

“Ellie...”

“No, listen. It’s just that, on the bad days since then, I just didn’t feel like me anymore, you know? I felt like I had lost myself, lost the person that I was.” All Azriel could do was nod, not understanding where she was going with this, but he listened anyway. “But then today, today Ianthe happened. She said those things, called us those names and I just sort of lost it. She called our little girl a bastard and so I punched her and fuck, it felt so fucking amazing to do that. I actually felt good.” She deserved to feel good because of that. Ianthe had always been a raging bitch, an attention seeking one at that. It was about time that somebody put her in her place.

A wonderful and breathtaking smile broke out over her face, twisting her hands to bring his own to her stomach, curving them around one spot to the side. “And when I was walking to the principal’s office, I took comfort in holding our baby, just in time to feel that.” At which point, she pushed his hands down a little harder, and he felt something flutter beneath his palm. He was confused for a moment but then it happened again, making shock and astonishment overtake him. Elain took her own hands away, just letting him feel all on his own and cupped his cheek, tilting his head back to look at her.

“Is that what I think it is?” She nodded, laughing quietly and he let every emotion wash over him, tears spilling down his cheeks. They were brushed away by gentle thumbs before letting his head drop so he could press his face to the movements, feeling the little thud, thud, thud, against his cheekbone. Gods it was so fucking surreal, being able to feel the way his little girl moved, making her presence known in the best way she possibly could.

“It was like she was telling me that everything was alright, that she was the one that was there for me, not the other way around. And I knew, I knew then in that moment I could never regret it, could never regret you. I could never regret her. It simply wasn’t possible to do so because I love you both, so terribly much.”

“I love you too, Ellie. You have no idea how fucking much.” He pushed up her clothes, baring her bump to him and he pressed his lips to her warm skin, kissing the little flutters he could feel there. His daughter’s movements sped up as he spoke against skin, pouring his heart out to the girls who meant the world to him.

“And you, my angel, daddy loves you more than words can describe. You are my greatest gift and I promise you, to protect and love you, until the day my heart stops beating. Maybe not even then, sweetheart.”

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Oh my god, I gave you more fluff, who am I?;)) If you want to be added/removed from the tags then just give me a shout!!

Tags: @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares @starlitfangirl @starsauroras @drunken-starz @myfriendscallmeraba  @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll  @stars-falling @lacewilde @verifiefangirl  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @fancyclodpaintercookie @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @silver-flames @queen-of-glass @bamchickawowow @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @kvi-arts @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @courtofjurdan @junkiejosten10 @mu-si-ca-l @agem10 @harmonyindark245 @slightly-sane-fangirl @tanaquilpriscilla @starrynightsbooks @maastrash @kendarbahr   @elriel4life @illyriangarbage @b00kworm @thewayshedreamed @snowflakesandstarlight

[court-of-pokemuses]

Every Eusine ship rated!

I’ve done this over on my main account @/pkmnsdarkqueen, and I think it’s kinda fun. It’s every ship on the muse from this page rated by my personal opinions. For this account I’ve been slowly working on it since January, and since this is a multimuse it took this long. I hope ya’ll enjoy!

Disclaimers directly below and the list under the cut!

strike through=my side commentary, trying to be funny, usually about ship names italicized=if asked I’d be down to rp it mostly just to see how/it it’d work * by name=I just think it’s a wildly random ship bold=ship name and who in it to help you find a certain ship highlights=they are grouped up, again in case you want to find that one ship

Took out category of Eusine and a protagonist/rival/or companion since they’re all children so it’s a hard no. A few other younger characters fit in the other categories though they’ve been judged no as well for the most part. Some shipped but ONLY in the context of the character being grown up.

Took out category of Eusine with pokemon because pokephelia. In multiship some of them have a pokemon and these have been dubbed as being one of the human’s part pokemon.

ships on ‘never ending romance’ website. Before asked yes mun has other ships she likes that aren’t listed, but Im only focusing on those listed.

Eusine w/ a Villain

Top rated ships: Diamondstud, & Uxorious shipping. 

Bottom rated ships: Fanatic, Fixation &  Hoax shipping.

*DiamondstudShipping - Colress & Eusine 5/10 I mean they’re both fabulous dudes who are focused on finding legendaries so I’d give it a fair shot of happening. Then again would Colress be able to put up with Eusine? 

FanaticShipping - Eusine & Saturn 0/10 Hehehe, they’d kill each other. (Saturn would kill Eusine)

FixationShipping - Eusine & Giovanni 0/10 Giovanni would kill him let’s be honest. 

HoaxShipping - Archer & Eusine 1/10 I.........hm.........yeah don’t really see it too much either as a long term thing. Maybe a hook up?

*UnfortunateShipping - Butch & Eusine 4/10 I mean it’s interesting you got 2 folks who like to show others up, and are fancy bois. Could kinda work I suppose. 

UxoriousShipping - Eusine & Hunter J 6/10 And in this corner we have the wild ship that kinda makes sense just make Eusine more crazed. I mean they’re both obsessed with finding legendaries??? So just watch em run around trying to find certain stuff. Not much love there tho

*WorthyShipping - Cyrus & Eusine 4/10 I’m sorry but I do not see Eusine as hitting the ‘worthy’ level on that I mean he’s strictly emotion based tbh. This would be wild though to see. 

Eusine w/ a champion

Top rated ships: Regent shipping

Bottom rated ships: Gnomon shipping

AeonShipping - Eusine & Cynthia 0/10 Oh gosh no, how the f is that gonna work? Like bruh I don’t think she’d put up with him. 

GnomonShipping - Eusine & Steven Stone 4/10 Gnomo means gnome, so this ship is about gnomes???? Anyway moving on from that def another one night stand scenario.

MantleShipping - Eusine & Lance 4/10 Here we have another one night stand! Seriously just very few people can handle Eusine long term.

*RegentShipping - Alder & Eusine 7/10 Eh Alder did casually shoot his shot at Cynthia so if he did with Eusine def would of at least gone a round. Tho hm long term???? Maybe? I mean Alder has more patience???

SplashShipping - Eusine & Wallace 4/10 Both fabulous, but can they handle each other’s extraneous is the real question.

Eusine w/ an elite 

Top rated ships: Ouroboros, and Harker shipping

Bottom rated ships: DarkMagic, MythHunter, and Elitist shipping

DarkMagicShipping - Eusine & Karen -50/10 Hehehehe, no. Yeah no even if Morty wasn’t involved in why Eusine hates her they would soon find a reason to be at each other’s throats.

ElitistShipping - Eusine & Will 1/10 Will would be sick of him pretty soon, or Eusine would be sick of him. If they didn’t chat much before hand maybe 1 night.

HarkerShipping - Eusine & Marshal 7/10 Cuter than some others I will say and I mean Marshal does seem to have more patience than some, and maybe it’d work.

MinaShipping - Eusine & Grimsley 5/10 Oh grims baby boi shipped around. Yeah I could kinda see it running better than some but again 2 dramatic bois, we’ll see how long they can take each other. 

*MythHunterShipping - Drake (Orange) & Eusine 1/10 I just want to see em exploring the world trying to find crazy legends and such. 

OuroborosShipping - Eusine & Flint (elite) 9/10 Kinda want to see this happen. I just imagine it being the refined boyfriend and messy other boy friend who were originally roommates. 

PilgrimageShipping - Bruno & Eusine 3/10 Ye Bruno would have the patience of a saint to handle him but would it be a good relationship?

WellReadShipping - Eusine & Lucian 5/10 Hm, nerd meets fabulous extrovert. Kinda sorta maybe?

(Surprised to see everyone in the Johto league and no Koga)

Eusine w/ a gym leader

Top rated ships: Sacred, Maelstrom, and RagingInferno shipping

Bottom rated ships: Camilla, Sacrosanct, and Broxa shipping

BroxaShipping - Eusine & Winona 0/10 Winona would not put up with this man. 

CamillaShipping - Eusine & Sabrina -10/10 Sabrina WOULD NOT put up with this man.

CeladonShipping - Eusine & Erika 3/10 I kinda want to see this in that Eusine can usually get away with his slightly flirty shiz and expects Erika to fall, but she just outright does not and boom he’s like,”but....hm I am intrigued.”

CorruptShipping - Bugsy & Eusine 0/10 No way in heck would Boy Scout and Eusine get along

DropletShipping - Eusine & Misty 2/10 Huh it’d be interesting but also they’d probably just fight alot.

HereticShipping - Eusine & Falkner 6/10 I think the name is funny, and brings up some interesting possibilities in au, but as the same time I kinda see it in the main timeline and wanna see it. 

IntertidalZoneShipping - Eusine & Jasmine 0/10 Ye they might ship, but would it be a healthy relationship?

JustinShipping - Eusine & Elesa 0/10 Who is Justin. They would be fashionable together but trying to romance would not work.

MaelstromShipping - Eusine & Volkner 8/10 Ok maybe. Tbh Volkner and Morty have somewhat of the same vibe to me, but Volkener has a bit more sad energy. 

MinakaneShipping - Eusine & Whitney 0/10 This is the first time I feel like Eusine would be annoyed and only becasue she’s just a happy ball but like all the time.

*RagingInfernoShipping - Chili & Eusine 7/10 Ok but watch em both get mad and scream like and then like cuddle afterward and both apologize. 

RueShipping - Eusine & Candice 0/10 Eusine is bent on finding legendaries and Candice is all protect them. no.

SacredShipping - Eusine & Morty 1000/10 Top for the boi cause they just have alot of character moments, and also they have the same salty chemistry and I love it.

SacrosanctShipping - Eusine & Clair 0/10 Clair would hurt him first before any sparks flew. 

SiWongShipping - Byron & Eusine 4/10 Eusine is your dad now Roark. So anyway I think it’s kinda interesting I like the contrast they have with each other but Idk how it’d work together. 

TesseractShipping - Brock & Eusine 1/10 Please explain the name to me, are you telling me they’re Avengers now??? So anyway I kinda feel like this wouldn’t happen. Like I mean Brock is a kind soul, and Eusine is kind of a goblin. 

WTFEverShipping - Brawly & Eusine 3/10 The name says it all. They’d have a one night stand, Brawly would think it was more and scream that at Eusine who’s confused why he’s mad. 

Eusine w/ Professor or assistant to

CrossRegionShipping - Bill & Eusine 3/10 Bill I suppose could work but I feel like things would fall apart when Bill realizes ‘oh you don’t just like suicune in a research sense you’re a bit fanatic.”

***ForelockShipping - Eusine & Professor Sycamore 5/10 .....Ok but if Sycamore was evil maybe? Idk why specifically this, but for some reason I feel like that would vibe??? In general tho naw.

*InvestShipping - Eusine & Professor Rowan 4/10 Naw don’t see this long term but I see it going longer than most.

*LifelongDreamShipping - Eusine & Fennel 9/10 There aren’t too many heterosexual ships I see with Eusine but oddly enough I can see this one. Especially after Eusine lost suicune and they get to talk about what they want from life. 

Eusine w/ a minor GAME npc

Top rated ships: Bowtie, and Value shipping

Bottom rated ships: Chaser, and Jinx shipping 

*BowtieShipping - Eusine & Juggler Irwin 6/10 You know what ye, let em both be showy but one has the cool ability to juggle.

ChaserShipping - Eusine & Satsuki 2/10 Satsuki is a kimono girl about protecting the legendaries idk if she’d be down with his goal unless you just want to focus on them enjoying the journey of looking. 

HarangueShipping - Eusine & Thorton 5/10 I can’t tell if Thorton is a child so that’s weird but for this we’re gonna head cannon he’s an adult. I mean kinda cute I guess with crazy pants McGee energy that Eusine has and in control Thorton. SO eh.

*JinxShipping - Eusine & Palmer 2/10 But Palmer making a hologram suicune? Eh Might be cute, but it’d need more depth than my little cute joke. 

MysticPoisonShipping - Eusine & Lucy 3/10 Funny to imagine same energy as Erika, but long term I don’t see it. 

PokeWifeShipping - AZ (XY) & Eusine 4/10 Someone please explain, please. I mean it’s a no from me dog, but like maybe in an alternate timeline???

*ValueShipping - Eusine & Riley 6/10 They just wanna go find legendaries. They both have the slight cool vibe and I like it.

Eusine w/ a minor ANIME/MOVIE npc

Top rated ships: Harrow, Thunder, Jones, and LegendQuestShipping/PursueShipping/RavingShipping

Bottom rated ships: 20Questions, FollowMyLeader, and Legato shipping

*20QuestionsShipping - Eusine & Flint (Kanto) 0/10 Ya’ll this is Brock’s dad. Like wut??? Brock I am your dad now. I guess the fandom just sees Eusine with dads/dad bods. what 20 questions are they asking?

*AncientPossessionShipping - King of Pokelantis & Eusine 5/10 ..........yeah if anyone was gonna end up possessed it’d be Eusine. They both want to find a legendary pokemon, but Eusine still has their heart focused on wanting to help the pokemon. Although hm idk but what if the king corrupted Eusine??? 

FollowMyLeaderShipping - Eusine & Molly Hale 0/10 So this is the child from the movie and I get we see her all grown but still I don’t like this. 

ForeignShipping - Eusine & Harrison 3/10 This guy has a houndoom as his main and has a tie with ho-oh, I’m shocked the fandom didn’t slam him together with Karen. Anyways he doesn’t have too much depth in the way most anime NPCs do but like mayhaps

GoldbergShipping - Eusine & Noland 5/10 Another dad bod type. Anyway I see this one tho since the cold calculations of Noland may mix with Eusine’s craziness. 

*HarrowShipping - Eusine & Harley 10/10 Yes def on this one. Harley is kinda intense, Eusine is intense. I think this makes sense. 

JonesShipping - Eusine & Ian 8/10 There isn’t much on this guy except that he takes care of pokemon. But he has that dad bod which apparently is Eosin’s thing so sure. 

LegatoShipping - Butler & Eusine 0/10 So Butler has a girlfriend for one. I honestly feel like they have the same energy but Eusine is gay. 

LegendQuestShipping/PursueShipping/RavingShipping - Eusine & Lawrence III 8/10 Again this is just crazy Eusine with someone enabling him. 

*MadShipping - Eusine & Tyson (Johto) 6/10 The Tyson they’re talking about it she one that forced the evolution to happen. I mean I guess but also again this would be the crazy Eusine one. 

ThunderShipping - Eusine & Kudou 8/10 One gets Suicune, and one gets Raikou I mean he’s one of those anime characters that doesn’t get much character so let it happen.

WitnessShipping - Eusine & Ritchie 0/10 This guy is a rival to Ash so ya know it’s a kid, and I don’t see anything they’d connect on.

Eusine w/ Orre or Ranger npcs

SuicuneShipping - Eusine & Venus 8/10 So they’re both conceited, and focused on folks liking them? 

Eusine w/ manga characters

UnworthyShipping - Eusine & Walker Guess what folks, it’s another dad-o, specifically Falkner’s. 

Eusine and multiple people: (All are gonna be a no romantically because I don’t see Karen being poly, but I’ll give plot ideas)

Top rated ships: ImaginaryFriend, and Oos shipping

Bottom rated ships: MissSaigon, Erratic and CrystalIntegrity shipping 

4KingsShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Lyra 3/10 I’m kinda lost on the name here, and I could see them all hanging out I guess. Maybe a couples date thing, Eusine & Morty w/ Lyra and Falkner. Where do the kings come from tho?

BromanceShipping - Eusine, Flint (Elite), Morty & Volkner 7/10 Bromance where nothing is platonic and clearly 2 couples, or heck maybe it is, anyways I like it though! CapeShipping - Eusine & Jackson (Vincent) / Eusine, Jackson (Vincent) & Lance 9/10 Ok but cape awareness club though where they all sit down and make up good reasons to have a cape, and they make PR for it cause they’re tired of getting teased. It’s a funny idea. CrystalBellShipping - Eusine, Morty & Suicune 5/10 Ok this is just Eusine completing his goal in life and morty also being there. I mean I feel like Morty would be the 1 person to support him having the pokemon but I mean it’d eventually just be his fav pokemon on his team.

CrystalIntegrityShipping - Eusine, Paul, Kris & Suicune 1/10 This is just eusine hanging out with children and a legendary pokemon what are they supposed to do?

CrystaltrioShipping - Eusine, Morty & Kris 4/10 Just a gay couple handing out with this child who defeated them both in pokemon combat. Look she just thinks they’re cool ok?

DashingFanboyShipping - Baron Alberto, Eusine & Lawrence III 9/10 3 bad bois all out wanting to catch their pokemon favorite. Please don’t leave them along longer than 5 minutes because bad things can and will happen. 

EastWindShipping - Crystal, Eusine & Suicune 4/10 This is just Eusine being mad that she caught the pokemon. It makes sense tbh, but I think she’d get annoyed with him trying to convince the legendary to be his pokemon.  ErraticShipping - Eusine & Morty + Eugene (Eusine) & Kudo 2/10 Ok so this is just Eusine shipped with one guy and another Eusine shipped with Morty cause Eugene and Eusine are the same person. I am confusion and I feel like Kudo and Morty would be too. 

ImaginaryFriendShipping - Eusine, Lawrence III, Morty, Ho-Oh, Lugia & Suicune 10/10 .........This is just people giving them a hard time about pokemon they will never get/see isn’t it. Heh I feel like you could put more people in this thing, and I think there should just be that as a support group.  IntelligenceShipping - Eusine, Lucian & Will 5/10 Bruh Lucian would lose his mind trying to deal with these two, It’d be funny to watch but poor Lucian.  KarmaShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Will 5/10 What did Falkner do to deserve bad karma? And yes I say bad cause Will, Morty, and Eusine alone would cause some shiz. This is the above but with one more person and falconer stuck with it.  LovelyangstyfanserviceShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Lawrence III & Morty 5/10 Ah so these are the angsty bois huh? You’re missing a few folks.  Marina'sFondestDreamShipping - Eusine, Jackson (Vincent) & Lance 3/10 I think this is just a 4 way someone wants to happen. Eusine would have a good time talking to Vincent about Raikou cause it could help him find Suicune. Lance is wondering how he got wrapped up in this convo. 

MisledShipping - King of Pokelantis, Ash & Eusine 4/10 So Ash got possessed by the king and Eusine would def fall into the same boat if there. Yeah the king would have 2 minions basically. 

MissSaigonShipping - Brawly, Eusine & Morty 1/10 So many Eusine and Morty with another person. Hm I can’t think of much they’d have in common immediately...

MovingOnShipping - Eusine, Lawrence III & Professor Carolina 5/10 Professor Carolina helps 2 dorks get over the fact that they can’t have the legendary pokemon they want. MysticQuestShipping - Eusine, Jimmy (Kenta) & Marina (Johto) 4/10 This is just them all looking for suicune and only one gets it, spoiler it’s not Eusine

MysticShipping - Eusine, Morty & Will 6/10 Ah yes the clairvoyant, the psychic, and a fanboy. One of the most powerful forces to ever exist. Real talk though I feel like they’d just all cause trouble together. 

MystifyShipping - Eusine, Morty & Whitney 3/10 Is it just me or is anyone that ships with Morty and Eusine feels like a 3rd wheel? I feel like they’d have an ok time together but idk if it’d go long term. OnMyHonorShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Clair 6/10 Ok yeah they all definitely have that ‘honor’ vibe about them but I fell like their honor systems have various levels of skew to them. It’d be interesting to get them all in a room to talk about it though. 

OosShipping - Brawly, Eusine, Morty & Will 10/10 Please catch them all in some school au where they are the trouble makers of the school. Brawly is the wanna-be intimidating jock, Will is the class clown, Eusine is the dramatic theater kid, and Morty is the introvert they adopted.  SacredDevotionShipping - Eusine, Morty, Ho-Oh & Suicune 9/10 They finally got the pokemon they have fan boy crushes over. Cute but I feel like they’d not realize how much for it takes to care for a legendary. That and be bad at trying to defend them, interesting thing to explore.

SacredFireShipping - Eusine, Morty & Ho-Oh 5/10 Now morty got his pokemon he wants. Kinda cool, maybe it’d show Eusine what he looks lie to other people. 

SacredHonorShipping - Eusine, Falkner & Morty 3/10 Again falconer feels like the third wheel here, and idk what they’d do long term. 

SuitUpShipping - Butler, Darach, Eusine, Lance & Steven Stone 6/10 All the dudes in suits huh (and Lance)? I feel like some are missing. I can see them all going shopping some time though and getting wild new styles. 

TrimurtiShipping - Eusine, Giovanni & Lance 4/10 Huh....ok I mean I just see it as Lance reluctantly keeping Eusine safe from Giovanni cause Eusine would def do something to make him mad trying to act tougher than he is.

Eusine w/ Eusine

RagingEgomaniacShipping - Eusine & Eusine 10/10 He’d band himself in a heart beat, and they’d be wildly annoying to everyone else. 

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 13: Return to the Falls, Trust No One? (originally posted on August 12, 2019)

AN: As Doctor Stephen Strange once said, "We're in the endgame now." I'd like to thank everyone who has stuck by me since Thanksgiving 2017 as I laughed, cried, cheered and felt myself die inside while this saga progressed. They always say parting is such a sweet sorrow, and I have a feeling it's going to be even more sorrowful for me since this story holds a special place in my heart as a crossover between my favorite anime and one of my favorite cartoons. But enough sentimentality, let the final battle against KISHIN CIPHER begin.

DPW LVQ QN HHRZDG AZ NVPIASC LZWF BA

AQ QUZ, EENA, GY MIGV QBXJ

K LSYSAGAH HTGBWSJPRU, MBIVRMM LOM FVZPUKV

ODWYGGJQCN CFE'DW LDRT SCVAE GQDS KUCVVL

--

There was dead silence in the now red-lit forest of Gravity Falls. Kishin Cipher's fortress the Fearamid continued to hover above the Oregon town that barely had any life left inhabiting it now that the townspeople were either transformed into building blocks for his throne or hiding in the shadows.

However those shadows would finally see a beacon of light shining nothing but hope upon the desolate village in the form of the Mystery Meisters returning to the falls at last. Out of a portal came Dipper and Mabel first, their bond broken and repaired within the span of a few hours after the boy went out of his way to save his sister from the grasp of Kishin Cipher and Anti-Mabel.

Next came Stanford Pines, Maka Albarn, Black Star and Death the Kid along with their respective weapons Azusa Yumi, Spirit Albarn, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa and Liz & Patty Thompson. "This is it everyone. Beyond these woods, our final battle with Bill and Asura awaits." Ford boldly declared. "Is everyone ready?"

"I definitely am. And I'm ready to save Soul as well." Maka responded willing to risk her life for the sake of her Demon Scythe. "As am I dudes. We're coming for you Mr. Pines!" Soos added also ready to rescue his father figure and former boss Stanley Pines. "We haven't got a moment to lose, but I suggest we find shelter before he finds us." Franken Stein suggested turning his screw while Wendy, Crona, Ox, Kim, Kilik, Gideon, Pacifica, McGucket and the rest of the team followed behind. "Any ide-"

"Mystery Shack." the kids stated in unison before Stein could even finish. "Well aside from the fact that that's where we stayed at last Weirdmageddon, there's also a mystical barrier made out of unicorn hair protecting it from weirdness." Dipper explained. "Wait, unicorn hair?" Black Star wondered. "Tell me more!"

"How about later? We gotta get moving!" Mabel said racing to find the Shack. The group then followed the sweater girl but without their knowledge, an Eyebat peered at the party before flapping its wings and soaring to the Fearamid.

The eye creature entered the pyramid and faced its master Kishin Cipher as he schemed on his human throne. "Okay, gimme reports little guy!" he commanded the Eyebat with a poke of its cornea. It rumbled a bit before a holographic image of the Mystery Meisters running away from him. "Well well well, can't say I'm not surprised!" the Dream Kishin commented with a sneer. "Now we can finally start the welcoming party!"

His minions all assembled before their master and took a bow as Kishin Cipher gave orders. "Okay, I'll need all of you circling the town in search of any survivors!" he stated. "Arachne, Shaula, Mosquito, Giriko, Shifty, you follow those mortals and terminate them! Henchmaniacs, blow that cabin to bits and take out anyone inside! And Horsemen?"

"Yes Master?" the Madness of Greed formerly known as Grunkle Stan wondered planting his sword in the ground while his eight-legged horned possum Shanknir scampered to his side. "I've got a special assignment for all of you. I need the four of you to fight alongside me in the eventual big showdown. You up for it?"

"As always mighty God of Weirdness and Madness." Medusa Gorgon, the Madness of Wrath, answered loyally. "And I trust that you in particular won't try to turn on me and take my power?" K.C told the witch. "I sincerely promise you that I have no ulterior motives."

"Very good." Kishin Cipher smirked, feeling ready to destroy all in the fated clash.

--

"We should be getting close everyone, I can smell the cheap money." Dipper stated hiding in the bushes as he spotted the tourist trap from afar. "It feels like it's been so long since we've last seen that old place."

"Really? Cause it felt like we've spent an entire night searching for Pacifica and then a few days in Death City." Mabel added stacking her head on top of her brother's. "Well no matter, we're finally home." Ford continued stepping out of their hiding spot to knock on the door. "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!" a familiar voice screamed. "Can you shut it Rumble? You'll get us caught!" another exclaimed harshly. "Besides, who knows who it could be?"

"Is that Eruka?" Dipper muttered in shock. "And that other guy sounds really familiar." Soos replied. "But let's barge in just to be safe!"

"That is rather rash and could be dangerous, but okay I believe you." Maka stated preparing to bust down the door. "Let's do this."

Battle cries were all around as the Mystery Meisters charged into the Shack with weapons raised high and a little resistance within the hovel roared as well. There were however a few familiar faces among the resistance's ranks. "Eruka, Free?" Dipper and Mabel exclaimed in unison. "Kids?" the frog and wolf responded just as stunned when the Multi-Bear stepped out of the bathroom. "Just so we're clear, we're all out of toilet paper." he announced amidst the awkwardness. "Did I miss something?"

--

"Are you making yourself at home Stanley?"

Stan sluggishly smacked his lips with a grumble and slowly opened his eyes to discover that he was now in a black and red room with a lamp as its only light source and a choppy record player nearby. Stan was bewildered as last he remembered, he & Soul sacrificed themselves to protect their loved ones and converted into minions of Kishin Cipher. He decided to get up from the chair he was sitting in to get a better look, but instead found himself chained to it. "Let me ask you again. Are you making yourself at home Stanley?"

"Hardly!" Stan exclaimed struggling to break out of his chains. "Where am I and who are you anyway?!" he asked. "Oh pardon me sir. Allow me to introduce myself." the voice's owner, a fine-dressed imp with a wide grin on his face, apologized. "I am the little demon now residing in your heart after you accepted the Black Blood within you."

"Hey, doesn't Soul have a weird little man kinda like you inside of him?" Grunkle Stan asked. "And why am I in this Sunday best getup?" He then brought attention to his current attire of a tuxedo with a red bowtie and a diamond ring on his finger. "Though I do like this ring."

"Why it's simple. As a fellow host of the Black Blood, you are one of four people forced to serve your new master. Though only one wasn't unwilling." the Ogre explained snapping his fingers to reveal the other hosts; Preston Northwest, Soul Eater Evans and Medusa Gorgon. Medusa was the only one to not be restrained to a chair, implying that she was the willing one.

"You won't get away with this you crimson cretin!" Preston shouted before the Ogre made a gag appear with another snap of his fingers. "Oh you Northwests don't know when to quit or shut up." the demon commented. "He's right you little twat, the twins will find a way to save us!" Soul added just as defiant. "Just why are we all here?"

"The master simply wants us all to be in better harmony." Medusa explained picking up a violin from a table out of two other instruments. "Make your choice." she commanded allowing the captives to get up from their chairs to choose. "I call dibs on the saxomaphone." Stan declared snatching the brass instrument. "Guess that leaves me with the clarinet." Preston added picking up his chosen woodwind. "But what about the boy?"

A spotlight shone on a grand piano behind Soul. "Of course." the scythe muttered sitting down and preparing to play. "But still, what's with all the harmony crap?" he asked the ogre. "Even though you are completely powerless to stop everything that you're perfectly aware of, there still has to be teamwork amongst Bill's slaves." the imp remarked. "NOW PLAY!"

The three unwilling Madnesses slowly warmed up under the watchful glare of Medusa who began expertly leading the way on her violin. Soul unwillingly but just as beautifully followed up with his piano while the Gravity Falls citizens just awkwardly looked at each other. "Do I see reluctance?" the Ogre snarled viciously electrocuting the two. "PLAY!"

"Okay, keep your pants on Lucy!" Stan growled playing the saxophone while Preston began his clarinet. Although their number was a nice piece, it symbolized how the three males were completely reluctant to serve Kishin Cipher.

--

"So that's the whole story?" Dipper asked Eruka while the group sat around a campfire inside the Mystery Shack that the resistance against Kishin Cipher had made their homebase. "Yeah, when we found your weirdo little house, there were already a few other people taking shelter as well." the frog witch answered. "Yeah, and a ton of strange characters too!" Free added. "Like those minotaur guys, the little dwarves, a couple of video game characters and whatever that bear is supposed to be!"

"Hey for your information Bigby, we're gnomes! The dwarves hang around in the mountains." Jeff exclaimed standing up next to Free. "But what of the strike force Death sent in?" Kid wondered twiddling his thumbs. "Most of them didn't make it." Sid stated. "Justin tried to kill that monster, but he was made a part of his creepy throne. Djinn Galland, Tsar Pushka, Feodor, Tezca Tlipoca and Mifunewould meet the same fate."

In a dark corner, Zubaidah & Enrique comforted a grieving Angela while Dengu & Alexandre leaned on the wall with Pitt colas in hand. "We're trying to do the best we can to fight back, but Kishin Cipher is pretty much all powerful." Mira explained. "The only thing that can keep us safe from him now is that unicorn hair shield keeping his powers at bay."

Suddenly rumbling footsteps sounded outside the Shack. "Uh guys, we got a situation!" the resistance's lookout, the wax head of Larry King, announced. "Those Henchmaniac guys are heading straight for us! And I am honestly surprised it only took them until now to find us."

"Everybody, battle stations!" the dating simulator character Giffany shouted taking position at a nearby window as the Henchmaniacs finally arrived with Moonlight, Kaguya, White Rabbit and the Black Clown leading the way. "Come out come out wherever you are." White Rabbit chimed in a sing-songy voice. "Your hair shield may not be penetrated by us, but we will find ways to penetrate you."

"NONE SHALL PASS!" Manly Dan screamed putting up his dukes. "You're only just making us want to tear you all to bloody shreds even more." Paci-Fire boomed telepathically. "Why the hell are we only cowering inside the Shack when we could be out there kicking their asses?" Black Star asked. "Also, what kind of monster is that ugly baby?"

"We're just not ready yet. Our forces are strong, but we still need something even stronger to stand a chance." Candy answered. "Candy's right you guys. We need to save Soul, Stan and Mr. Northwest if we want to save Gravity Falls. They're part of that big wheel Ford talked about." Maka responded. "Exactly, but how can we rescue them in their current states?" Stanford pondered. "By the way, do you think they can hear us?"

"Yes, yes we can!" Pyronica called out, causing the polydactyl author to angrily pound the wall. "Dammit!" he groaned agitatedly. "Well, time to cut things short. Kid, Kilik, Wendy & Dipper, you're all coming with us." Black Star declared. "The rest of you hit the deck!"

"Are you truly sure about this kids? These demons may look rather ridiculous, but judging by their apparent connections to Bill they must be insanely powerful." Stein observed. "We have to do this to protect the Shack while the rest of you think of a new plan." Kid replied beckoning Liz and Patty to his hands. "You're right. Stay safe out there." Maka promised the tourist trap defenders.

"Hey Henchmaniacs, we're right here for you!" Dipper announced grabbing Excalibur on his way out the door. "Well look who we have here, the master's favorite Pine Tree." Kaguya purred. "He always has talked about how much he hated you the most."

"Listen you creeps, just tell us where Soul & Mr. Pines are or you'll go from monsters to targets." Kid threatened. "We're basically saying prepare to get wrecked you rejected Pokemon!" Wendy added tossing her axe at one of the demons aiding the monsters. The creatures were silent for a moment and then, roared before charging.

"Incoming!" Kilik declared yanking Paci-Fire's binkie out of his mouth and stabbing him in the eye with it. Kid meanwhile shot right through Keyhole's namesake forehead at Lavalz. The amount of bullets put through the lava lamp creature's body were so plentiful, they put him on the brink of death. "Please boy, I beg you to have mercy!" he begged the son of Death. "I can do whatever you please! I'll be your servant, I'll turn on my fellow demons to assist you, just please don't kill me!"

"You know, come to think of it." Kid contemplated before a shadow rose from behind him. "This was all a trap and there's someone behind me, correct?" he wondered aloud shooting Amorphous Shape in the eye without even turning his back. "Now Dipper!"

Dipper cut Amorphous Shape to pieces while the creature's guard was down and he screamed loudly as he was reduced to just his soul. "Aw snap, he just killed Morphy!" Kryptos shouted. "This one'll be for him you freaks!" Pyronica shouted lighting her fists aflame. The opposing sides charged while everyone else in the Shack concocted a plan of attack.

"So I suggest we try using a human sacrifice." Stein revealed. "I like it!" Soos agreed. "No, I don't think that will be necessary." Maka rejected the idea to everyone's dismay. "We need an approach that'll involve everyone of us working together."

"OOH, OOH, OOH! I GOT ONE!" McGucket cried raising his bandaged hand. "All right, what do you got Fiddleford?" Stein asked the rich hillbilly. "Giant robit! We already did something like that last Weirdmageddon!" Fiddleford answered excitedly. "Funny story, that's almost exactly what we did when we fought Asura." Azusa stated. "Coincidence, I think not."

"But how are we going to get one? Especially in a place like this?" Crona wondered. "We can use whatever we please around town. Like we said, worked last time." Wax Larry King answered. "Is anyone else going to question why this wax head can talk?" Sid offhandedly pondered. "Whatever, let's get moving!"

As for Dipper's group, they were all backed into a corner by the surviving Henchmaniacs. Lavalz, Paci-Fire, Keyhole and Hectorgon had now joined Amorphous Shape in being destroyed, but their friends were now even more furious and taken them all down. "Well Dipper, where does this fit into our battle plan?" Kilik grunted awaiting his fate. "I'm sure something will turn up for us." Dipper replied optimistically. "Is that so?"

Standing before them, Arachne had just joined up with the former Nightmare Realm prisoners alongside Mosquito, Giriko, Shaula and the Shapeshifter. "And where were you this whole time?!" White Rabbit exclaimed hotly. "We were simply biding our time. Besides, it was fun seeing the children try oh so desperately." Arachne added. "And speaking of which..."

"Don't even think about trying anything funny with us or the Shack!" Wendy threatened. "Is that so little redheaded bitch?" Giriko snarled menacingly. "Well let's make a compromise. We'll do something funny with your little friends who are no doubt trying to escape."

And indeed Giriko was right. Maka was leading a group of the survivors out of the Mystery Shack consisting of herself, Bud Gleeful, Thompson, Ox, Sid, Mr. Poolcheck, Tyler, Free & Dengu. However the party would immediately be blocked by the Shapeshifter. "Stop, right, there. Which one of you wishes to die?"

"Hands off you glowing bastard!" Free snarled baring his claws. "Aw, poor little Free. It seems that you couldn't stand being a pariah for what you did to Maba, so you decided to betray your master for these weaklings she wants destroyed."

"For your information Xenomorph, Medusa was kind of a pretty awful boss and we just moved to a different one." the wolfman responded with a stupid grin on his face. "Can you not doom us right now?" Mr. Poolcheck and Thompson said in unison. "As you did serve Kishin Cipher, it is most unfortunate for you that I must slay you to prevent the rebels from gaining any information on him." the Shapeshifter deduced preparing to strike. "Make your last wishes."

"Stop right there!" Maka cried pointing her father's weapon form at the alien creature. "I won't let you harm anyone here today. I bet you won't even last until tomorrow to come back and kill us all!"

"Very well, then we'll strike again within two days!" the Shapeshifter replied. "How about three?!" Black Star butted in suddenly. "Four!"

"Five!"

"Six!"

"Seven!"

"MAKA CHOP!" Maka cried smacking Black Star on the head and knocking him out. "Tomorrow it is then." the Shapeshifter declared. "Okay everyone, pack it up! We can start again the next day!"

"Aw man." the rest of Kishin Cipher's present minions groaned like disappointed children. "SUPER anticlimactic." Kaguya complained. "I know right?!" Giriko replied. As the monsters began to leave, the rebels raced back inside the Shack to form a plan.

"So what were you doing out there leading those guys?" Ford asked Maka. "We were coming up with attack plans while Dipper was out fighting and someone made the suggestion of turning the Shack into some kind of robot."

"That's exactly what we did to beat Bill last summer!" Mabel exclaimed. "Exactly!" McGucket added. "Seems like we made it safe to go outside again, so let's get to work." Tsubaki stated. "But where can we find what we need?"

"Don't worry everyone," Dipper announced. "Mabel and I know where."

--

One montage of working hard on the resurrection of the automated tourist trap later, the rebels snuggled up underground in Ford's laboratory watching for signs of trouble. "Status update: K.C's forces have kept their word." Tambry announced peering through the periscope disguised as the totem pole outside the Shack. "Good work, we still got time left." Ford applauded. "Time left til we can get Stan and Soul back."

"And my father?" Pacifica asked innocently. "Sure, him too." the scientist answered. "Can't you show her a little sympathy? Her old man is currently forced to fight for an all-powerful demon thing and even showed willingness to help us before that, yet you still have that grudge against him." Liz stated. "Yes I apologize for being a bit insensitive, but the other two are still most important." Ford claimed. "Now then, have we worked any kinks from the last time?"

"Well, definitely got more unicorn hair to fully shield us." Candy stated in the midst of cutting Celestabellebethabelle's mane. "And it can fly now too!" Grenda exclaimed. "Is there anything this town can't do when they come together?" Melody said.

Meanwhile in the attic, Maka gazed out the twins' bedroom window at the blood red sky in silence. "Don't worry Soul, we'll be there for you soon."

"Did we hear you talk about Soul?" Mabel asked suddenly interrupting their older friend. "Gah, you guys!" Maka squeaked. "Aw don't be so skittish Maka, we just got a little feeling you like him." Dipper replied. "As in, like him like him." Mabel added beaming which made the scythe Meister blush like mad. "Oh quit blushing, you know too!"

"Okay, you got me!" Maka finally gave in. "I really do like him. He may be rather distant and cold, but he's just that much of a loyal friend who would do anything to protect me!" she confessed to the twins. "That's why I'll protect him in exchange, and maybe we could finally make music again."

"And you've been hiding these feelings for how long now?" Mabel asked Maka again. "I mean, I've heard that you two often argued like you were married or something."

"But let's try not to hyperfocus on that for now, cause I've also heard that if you do so, you can get distracted a bit too much and even get mad when people try to keep you away from your-" Dipper responded before Maka shushed him. "Okay okay, let's just keep up the fight against Kishin Cipher. Hopefully no one heard us."

"I did." Soos stated suddenly appearing by the door. "Don't mind me dudes, I just knew it from the moment we all first met."

--

Meanwhile at the Fearamid, Arachne was forced to give Kishin Cipher the bad news about the results of the attack.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" the Dream Kishin screamed loudly, causing enough vibrations to cause miniature earthquakes. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU LOST MOST OF MY MEN TO A BUNCH OF PUNY MORTALS HIDING IN A CABIN, AND THEY MADE YOU AGREE TO TRYING AGAIN TOMORROW?! HOW STUPID CAN YOU ALL BE?!"

"My sincerest apologies master, we just arrived too late." the Spider Witch revealed bowing to the ground with her two subordinates and youngest sister. "But still, we might as well prepare for the final battle." she assured him. "You got a good point there Rachney." Kishin Cipher agreed spawning a wineglass filled with time punch. "In that case, I propose a toast! First one goes to absent maniacs."

The army of demons began mourning for the fallen Henchmaniacs while holding their own wineglasses. "Morphy was just too young!" Kryptos bawled into Pyronica's cape, blowing his nonexistent nose on it. "Did anybody else catch the lava lamp guy's name?" Moonlight asked Xanthar, who simply replied with a shrug. "This one is for you Keyhole." 8-Ball declared drinking the glass and tossing the time punch away hard enough for it to explode.

"But I would also like to propose another one." Kishin Cipher solemnly stated when his mournful expression turned into a fierce sadistic grin. "TO OUR ONCOMING VICTORY!" he cheered tossing his glass to the ground and smashing it underfoot. "MAZEL TOV TO ALL OF YOU! MAZEL TOV!"

The otherdimensional freaks began cheering for their master as his speech continued. "I'd like to thank all of the following for helping us make it this far!" Kishin Cipher announced splitting himself into Bill Cipher and Asura for the first time in what felt like ages. "First off, I'd like to thank my number one fan here for making a deal with me to exact our revenge!" the Kishin exclaimed fistbumping the dream demon. "And I'd also like to thank that pigtailed scythe-bearing brat for giving my new partner here that stupid courage punch!" Bill responded. "Without her, we wouldn't have met and become an unstoppable team!"

The duo merged back into Kishin Cipher who picked up a microphone while a large projector screen appeared behind him. "And in addition, we are also thankful for all the idiots that led themselves to their doom!" The screen began picturing many of the Dream Kishin's enemies and all they've accomplished in accidentally guiding the monsters to victory while the minions continued cheering. "It brings a tear to all three of my eyes to see so many freaks of nature all under one roof to celebrate the coming end of the universe! Especially you creature with like eighty-eight different faces! There, are you happy now?!"

"Actually, I've grown an eighty-ninth face!" the aforementioned multi-faced trog declared revealing a very handsome face to have sprouted. "Oh my, look at that thing!" Kishin Cipher exclaimed revealing the face's turquoise humanoid form. "Isn't it just dashing?!"

The creatures began oohing and aahing at how bizarrely attractive the new face was before Kishin Cipher returned to his speech. "As I was saying ladies, germs and unspeakable horrors of all shapes and sizes, this is it!" he declared making double peace signs over a podium while the projector screen made a large portrait of himself appear. "Tomorrow is the day that sanity goes completely down the shitter and pure madness reigns supreme! How excited are you!?"

"VIOLENTLY!" his army chanted arming themselves with torches, pitchforks and all sorts of stereotypically uber-violent tools. "And how bloody will our enemies' deaths be?!" Kishin Cipher continued. "INSANELY!" the monsters screamed pumping their fists. "Yeah, that's all I wanted to hear!" the leading abomination shouted raising his arms. "Come on everybody, let's get weird!"

Elsewhere in the Fearamid, the Four Madnesses meditated while their harmony exercises continued. The horsemen sat in utter silence until the Madness of Greed opened a single eye. "Kids."

--

The next day, all was silent once more in the forest. That is until a large mechanical being ambled among the trees, casting a shadow over the flora. Metallic footsteps thundered while leaving large car-shaped footsteps behind until finally, the Shacktron 2.0 reached the clearing where the Fearamid was situated. "Are we ready everyone?" Ford asked taking the pilot's seat. The rest of the rebellion nodded in response while preparing for war. "Good. Time to make our claim."

A large megaphone placed at the deck of the Shack was turned on by Dipper before he spoke into it. "Kishin Cipher, this is the Mystery Meisters telling you to surrender now and give back our friends or prepare to fight!" the boy threatened with an amplified voice. However, there was no answer. "D-Did he just give up already?"

"I'll say." Kishin Cipher sarcastically answered while suddenly appearing in front the young Pines brother and giving him a scare. "Long time no see Dipper, been a long while since we had a one-on-one chat!" the Dream Kishin casually greeted his archenemy. "And did you lose weight or is the stupid cosplay just throwing me off?"

"It's not stupid cosplay, my sister had it specially made for me!" Dipper declared defensively clutching onto his scarf. "Oh come on brat! It's too obscure, too ugly! I don't know which is worse!" K.C continued insulting making his hand violently detach itself. "I might just split a seam now if I don't die laughing first!"

"Not if we have the last laugh! NOW!" Dipper commanded allowing the rest of the crew to start firing all sorts of weapons at the Dream Kishin. "You can't break the Shacktron this time, we got unicorn hair from head to toe now!"

"Oh my, you're actually giving me a challenge?" Kishin Cipher quizzed while his forces spawned behind him. "Well what're you waiting for mortals?! Come and get me!"

"This is it everyone, we can do this!" Maka exclaimed taking control of the Shacktron 2.0. "Keep firing at them all!"

"But Maka, we can't just blast cannons at him forever!" Tsubaki advised. "You ready Black Star?" she asked her Meister holding out her hand. "Like Hell I'm not!" the ninja responded taking up arms and leaping outside the Shack, clashing blades with the Madness of Greed. "Been waiting for a proper rematch old man, haha!"

"Bah, you are simply a child dressed in a silly outfit. In fact, you are all children in silly outfits compared to us and our master." the old man in the golden armor scoffed taking out the Shadow Weapon Meister and making him fall to the ground. "NOOOOOT SIIIIILLLLYYYY!" the teen shouted faceplanting into the dirt. "Wait, are these clothes really that stupid?"

"Is there any way we can free Stan, Soul & Mr. Northwest without K.C getting in the way?" Dipper asked Stein. "The freeing our friends part is quite simple Dipper, we call it Chain Resonance where our souls must be on an equal playing field to do great things." the scientist proclaimed. "The keeping Kishin Cipher from interrupting part is much harder."

"How about the important guys, that's you guys, take on the Madnesses while everybody else keep the big guy at bay?" Free suggested warding off the Eyebats with his ice magic. "Good idea Free, and good luck too." Dipper agreed. "Okay everybody, we're gonna tackle the Madnesses ourselves!" he announced to the Mystery Meisters currently not occupied with fighting the monsters while Black Star crawled back up to the Shack. "Any last words before we go?"

"I got one." Pacifica stated turning to her mom. "Mother, I promise we'll bring Dad home."

"I love you." Soos said to Melody. "I know."

"If I don't come out of this alive," Gideon announced to his father and Ghost-Eyes. "tell my widdle ol' story."

"No offense to any of you guys," Azusa said to Ox, Harvar, Kilik, the Pots, Kim, Jackie, the NOT class girls and Hiro. "But you didn't do that much. Like I said, no offense."

"Eh, I'm used to it." Hiro replied giving a salute to the Mystery Meisters. "Now godspeed, all of you."

"Thanks everyone." Dipper said gratefully taking Excalibur by the hand and putting him in the sheath Mabel made for him. "And don't worry Stan, we'll be here."

"Hey hate to interrupt, but do you think these outfits look kinda dumb?" Black Star asked. "We don't have time B-Star!" Mabel exclaimed hurriedly. "Mabel's right, let's get a move on!" Maka announced arming herself with her father.

--

In the distance, the Four Madnesses were now benched after Greed's brief clash with Black Star watching their master take on the Shacktron from the Fearamid. "When do you suppose we shall strike once more?" the Madness of Sloth snarled biting on the tail of the eight-legged possum Shanknir. "We'll come back once Kishin Cipher is done with the mortals." the Madness of Wrath stated. "But speaking of which, I can sense a certain few of them coming our way."

"We've got you now Medusa! Release our loved ones, and others, or else!" Ford exclaimed leading the Mystery Meisters in cornering the four Madnesses. "It's absolutely hopeless now for all of you." the Madness of Envy purred menacingly while spinning his scythe. "Soon, Kishin Cipher's madness shall flood this town and once we bypass the barrier surrounding this town, we'll move onto the rest of reality as well."

"Barrier?" Marie asked turning to Ford. "That's the law of weirdness magnetism, whatever bizarre thing comes in can't get out." the author briefly explained. "But it seems that through Kishin Cipher's unlimited power that I'm sure he keeps pulling out of his behind, he won't need a special equation I've memorized to lower the shield around town."

"Doesn't matter if he's able to do that anymore, since our lord can warp all reality to his whims." the Madness of Sloth stated. "But enough about him, let's kill you!" The Northwest-turned-beast summoned his giant bell and slammed it onto the ground, creating a small crack in the floor of the lair that began getting larger. "Just wait til this hole begins to get larger and soon you'll fall headfirst on the ground below! I hear mortal brain-matter is delicious this time of year!"

"Listen daddy, I know it's still you underneath that hideous body!" Pacifica called out. "Please, just do anything to tell you still recognize me! I'll even take you ringing that stupid bell again if it means I'm still seen as your daughter!"

The Madness of Sloth prepared to smack his bell again before the girl's words reached his ears. "Pacifica?" he grumbled mid-attack. "He's open, now!" Maka shouted slashing the monster across his face with her father. "You brat!" the slovenly monster roared. "Black Star, tie those three up and we can begin!" the Scythe meister commanded the ninja who readied his chain scythe and lassoed up Sloth, Greed & Envy. "Dipper, did you bring the journal?"

"You bet I did!" Dipper proudly declared fishing Journal 3 from his backpack. "The three of you into position and get your wavelengths rolling!"

"Okay, this is it." Kid remarked as the three formed a circle around the three captured Madnesses. They began forming a connection with their soul wavelengths that built up a forcefield surrounding them. "No, you won't get away with this!" a frantic Medusa howled trying to stop the Resonance, but the barrier had other plans that caused it to send her flying toward her master's throne.

"Everyone, together!" Ford commanded placing his hand on the combined soul. "Wait, is this even possible?" Crona asked the author. "I honestly have no idea, but let's just improvise." Stanford answered while the rest of the group placed their hands on the soul. "Dipper, if you please."

"You got it." Dipper declared opening the journal with his free hand and beginning to read. "Videntis omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus." he began chanting and everything took on a brilliant cyan glow, from the Mystery Meisters' eyes to the soul surrounding Maka, Black Star and Kid. "Habeas corpus! Inceptus Nolanus overratus! Magister mentium! Magister mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!"

In a similarly-colored explosion, all were fast asleep.

--

In a pitch black ethereal realm solely inhabited by three pillars with stained glass portraits depicting the trapped trio, Dipper & Mabel landed on the one depicting their lost great-uncle. "This has to be the place, especially with all the quiet Latin chanting around us." Dipper declared adjusting his cap while Ford, Wendy, Soos, Black Star & Tsubaki landed behind the twins. "And that must be Stan over there!"

Indeed, the boy was right. However, Stan has now been regressed in age in this spiritual plane with his only companion being a silhouette of his father in front of them. "Wait, I remember this! It's like when Crona chatted with his shadow in his soul!" Mabel exclaimed trying to walk towards the shrunken Stanley, when suddenly the shadow blocked her path. It remained completely silent for what seemed like hours before pointing at the group with a earsplitting loud, unearthly shriek while the three pillars rapidly drifted apart from one another.

On the pillar inhabited by Soul, he was currently held in a straitjacket with the Little Ogre holding him on a leash when Maka, Spirit, Crona, Marie, Stein, McGucket & Gideon. "What have you done to Soul you scarlet shithead?!" Spirit screamed preparing for a fight. "What have I done you may ask?" the Ogre snickered while the Latin choir was now backed up by a choppy record player. "Why, I'm simply helping your friend follow his destiny."

"Well what kind of destiny is forcing him against his will to serve a monster?" Marie argued. "Why not just ask the boy." the imp chortled letting go of the leash he held on Soul. "Now go on my boy. Show them how much the master has improved you."

"Like hell I-" Soul began trying to resist control before Ogre pulled hard and electrocuted him. "Make it stop! Just make it stop!"

And finally on Preston's pillar, he was tied to a fancy chair with his head forcefully bowed down while faced by his daughter along with Azusa, Kid, Liz & Patty and Blair. "Dad, can you hear us?" Pacifica called for her father. "What brings you here daughter?" Preston glowered in defeat. "Don't you know that I am beyond redemption?"

"Don't be like that daddy, it's like what Grandpa Auldman said! Even the blackest of hearts have a speck of light within." Pacifica tried comforting Preston, but her hand was slapped away by the bandage tendril of Kishin Cipher. "No no no Llama, YOU shouldn't be like that!" a figment of Bill Cipher scolded the blonde. "It was thanks to me your family was able to rise to the top, but then your generation just had to screw everything up! Need I remind you?"

With a clap of his hands, Bill conjured up a giant bell to threaten Pacifica with. He began ringing it violently, forcing the girl to stand down. "Wait, you're afraid of a bell?" Kid asked her. "Pavlovian conditioning." Preston grumbled. "My wife and I basically made her our bitch with that accursed bell. Go on, shoot me now and end this. All of you know I deserve it."

"No, we haven't lost yet!" Pacifica cried trying to resist the bell and slowly marched towards her dad. "Our...family...name is broken!" she growled in her struggling. "And I'm...going...to...FIX IT!"

"How are you fighting back?! It's like he said, you're his bitch!" Bill screamed continuing to ring even louder before Kid and Azusa shot at him. "And you're all pretty much Shinigami's bitches too, having to do the dirty work while he lazes about because his stupid soul protects that even stupider city!"

"I don't think so Bill." Kid scowled. "Now Blair!" he commanded the cat, who let out a loud "Halloween Cannon!" and blasted the bell out of Bill's hand. "This isn't over you all!" the triangle screeched angrily while fading away. "I'm only a figment of his mind, preparing all of you for the real deal!"

As soon as the imaginary Bill faded, Pacifica made a beeline for her father's prison and released him. "P-Pacifica?" Preston stuttered before his daughter hugged him tight. "B-but why? Bill was right, I was a monster!"

"I know you are, but you can be something more." the blonde said softly. Suddenly, the spirits of every Northwest before them appeared lining up beside the two and facing them. With soft smiles, the ancestors vanished just as quickly as they materialized, leaving a fade to white behind.

--

"More firing, more! More!" Grenda hollered as the Shacktron soared around the now giant Kishin Cipher like a biplane, continuing to shoot at the monster while he waved his arms around trying to swat them down. "Uh gang, don't think we're gonna last any longer out here!"

"Don't lose hope everyone! The unicorn hair will protect us!" Sid exclaimed while in command of the flying hovel. "Though I'm mostly saying this because I've already died before. The rest of you might not be so lucky, not gonna lie."

"If that's the case." Wax Larry King solemnly declared turning to Hiro and Dengu. "Then gentlemen, it's been an honor." He grabbed a violin with his teeth and began playing it with the bow he bit down on, before a large crashing sound was heard. Appearing from the distance was Death City itself, now with its own set of limbs equipped with larger copies of Death's gloves.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Kishin Cipher began chortling at the walking city. "I mean, what's a literal walking town gonna do to-" Before the Dream Kishin could finish, the Death City Robot gave him a fierce jab to the eyes. "THE HELL?!" he screamed falling to the ground. "Seriously, is that you in there old man?!"

"You bet it is Cipher!" Lord Death called from the Secret Vault where he piloted the machine. "Time for us to settle the score, and this time this shall be the day your madness ends forever!" The mobile city then held out its hands and scooped up Kishin Cipher's unconscious form. "Special Attack:" Death announced. "COFFEE TABLE FLIP!"

"SO AWESOME!" the boy band clones Sev'ral Timez cheered. "Who digs giant robots?!" Hiro exclaimed. "I dig giant robots!" Nate replied. "We dig giant robots!" Chutzpar added. "Chicks dig giant robots!" everyone else answered in unison. "Nice!"

--

Back in the mindscape, Soul and Stan were the only ones remaining of the present Madnesses. The shadow form of Filbrick continued his horrible shrieking for another few seconds before abruptly stopping. "Is that your old man?" Black Star asked Ford. "Exactly Black Star. Though he was most certainly a hardass in life and not very kind towards Stan, he was a very mediocre guy very deep down." Ford answered. "Allow me to make peace with him."

The author stepped forward towards the facsimile of his long-deceased father and extended his hand out. "Hello there dad, or at the very least some spawn of Hell taking his form." he greeted Filbrick. "It's me, Stanford. I know this may seem like much, but could you please kindly let my brother go free so that he can join us in saving reality from utter destruction?"

"Not impressed." Shadow Filbrick snarled glaring at his descendants. "Not impressed with what?" the six-fingered genius asked. "With what you've become." Filbrick answered. "Look at you my son. Workaholic, haughty, unforgiving."

"That's all in the past!" Ford argued. "Okay, maybe I'm still a little too focused on my research, but still you have no right to call me out like that!"

"You tell 'em Ford!" Mabel exclaimed before Shadow Filbrick forced a barrier around the others and another over Stan. "They are insignificant, especially to you!" the shadow stated. "Your family is suffocating, correct?"

"No, stop all these lies at once!" Ford continued shouting. "You should watch your tone around your father!" Shadow Filbrick scolded. "I thought your brother was the only ignoramus between you two, but it seems you're just as foolish!"

Stanford didn't say a word after that, except for the growl he let out as he clutched his father's faker's neck tightly. "You take that back about us you faker!" he roared. "I know what you are, you're nothing but a manifestation of our negative emotions!"

Suddenly the barrier lowered around the rest of Ford's party and prepared for a fight. "Get them!" Shadow Filbrick choked commanding an army of duplicates. "Black Star, help me here!" Ford shouted to the ninja. "Yahoo, a chance to show my skills at last!"

"Finally time to put "that" to good use." Tsubaki grinned before they declared in unison, "Let's go, Soul Resonance!"

Tsubaki's weapon form changed from a chain scythe into a katana blade and then into a kunai that Black Star used to create afterimages of himself while running circles around the Filbrick shadows. "Try and catch me suckers!" the man who would surpass God cried out brashly. Sadly for him, the shadows were able to find out which was the real one and apprehend him, snatching Tsubaki away. "Don't worry, I got this!" the Shadow Weapon Meister declared preparing another move. "Ultimate Move: Black Star Big Wave!"

Black Star zoomed in for the kill, elbowing his partner's captor in the back while forcing his palm out, creating a large electrical force in the shape of a star that dissipated the shadow and freed Tsubaki. "And now, onto you!"

Jagged black lines began decorating Black Star's face as his sword finally shattered the shield around Stanley, and the de-aged grunkle looked up. "Black Star, what're you doing back here?!" Stan cried trying to protect himself from the scrambling shadows. "Just saved your life kid. Come with us if you want to live some more!" Black Star exclaimed taking the boy's hand as Stan slowly began returning to his normal age. "Yo Dipper, Ford, we got Stan!"

"Excellent work you two! Now let's finish this." Ford congratulated the pair letting go of his father's impersonator to prepare for the final blow. "Everyone, mobilize!" he commanded standing alongside his returned brother. "Good to be back in the fold poindexter." Stan said with his voice returned to its normal gruff octave. "And thanks for helping me out there kid."

"You're welcome old man!" Black Star replied beginning to charge towards Shadow Filbrick alongside the Stans & Dipper. "Now let's end this!"

"What are you doing?!" Shadow Filbrick cried out in horror before Dipper and Black Star's souls formed a connection. "Twin Blades of Legendary Justice!" the two boys announced their new attack as they stabbed their enemy in the chest while the Stan twins punched him on both sides of his head. "Y-y-y-y-y-you haven't won, YEEEETTTTTTT!"

Those were the final words of the fake Filbrick Pines before he exploded into pure light that covered the entire mindscape, along with similar blasts coming from the other two pillars.

--

"Oh geez, what happened?" Stan groaned slowly getting up off the wet ground and noticing the sky was a beautiful blue. "And where are we? Are we dead? I was betting on biting the dust like a hero."

"I don't think we're dead Grunkle Stan." Dipper stated gazing at Tsubaki standing nude, glowing and covered with black stripes in front of a large deer-like creature colored black with white markings. "Everyone, this is the will of my clan." Tsubaki introduced the creature who glared at the three Pines. "I see you have taken on a pupil of your own my camellia blossom." the will of the Nakatsukasa clan remarked gazing at Dipper. "And it seems he wields the legendary sword Excalibur."

"Yeah, good observation there." Dipper remarked. "So are you going to like, bless me or something?"

"Such a modest young man." the Will of Nakatsukasa commented. "Reminds me quite a bit of Masamune before his fall." he added turning to Tsubaki. "A little, I guess." the young woman replied stepping down to look at the boy. "Are you ready for the next phase of training?"

"Uh, uh, yeah?" Dipper stuttered while he face turned red from trying not to look at Tsubaki's spiritually bare form. "Hey guys, am I late?!" Black Star hollered rushing towards the group. "Hey, we gonna knight Dipper or something?"

"Sure, go ahead Black Star." Dipper answered proudly before the ninja summoned his sword and knighted his newfound equal with it. "Hopefully you can be just as badass as I someday."

"You got it." Dipper answered his new brother in arms with a firm handshake and the realm went white once more.

--

"Please Maka, just kill me and put an end to this! It's the only way I can be free of him!" Soul begged his Meister as the Little Ogre continued pulling on his leash. "Just do it!"

"No Soul, I can't!" Maka cried. "I won't let you die like this, not after all we've done for each other." she stated letting a few tears fall. "We may bicker a lot, but you've done so much for me. I'm your partner, best friend, closest confidant. And maybe we could be something more."

"Called it!" Marie cheered. "Oh, my baby girl!" Spirit replied feeling proud of his daughter. "Wait, when was that a thing?" Gideon wondered. "Bah, don't think the power of love can stop me!" the Ogre scoffed yanking on Soul's chain even harder, the pain forcing him to change into his Madness of Envy form. "Now my slave, finally destroy them!"

Maka armed herself with her father and got to work on trying to free Soul. However for the latter, he had a scythe of his own that is pretty much an exact double of his weapon form. "So it's come to this old friend. Scythe to scythe!"

"Meister to weapon!" Maka replied clashing blades with Soul. "Soul to soul!" Their weapons collided and ground against each other, causing sparks to literally fly. As for the rest of Maka's group, they were forced to fight more shadows similar to Shadow Filbrick.

"We need to find a way to get Soul distracted so that we can save him!" Stein exclaimed while taking command of Marie and fighting back-to-back with Crona. "Anyone have ideas?"

"Why don't we, I don't know, get 'em to kiss?" McGucket suggested. "But how can we do that?" Crona wondered. "Simple, just gotta shove 'em into each other!" Ragnarok suggested. "But we'll have to take out all these first to make more room and make things go smoothly."

"And where have you been this whole time?!" Gideon asked Ragnarok. "You've barely been useful to us for most of this journey ever since we left for Death City!"

"Hey, shut up kid!" the Black Blood sword argued just as McGucket split them up. "Alright you two, let's just get a move on."

"It's like my master said, the power of love is fruitless against me!" Soul hissed proceeding to gain the upper hand on his former partner. "What makes you believe I can be cured?!"

"Because she's got help!" Crona declared trying to push the Madness of Envy towards her. "Quick old man, start playing!" Gideon cried shoving Maka forward. "You got it!" Fiddleford exclaimed beginning to play a romantic tune on his banjo while Stein cleared out the remaining shadows. "What trickery is this?!" the Ogre yelled as Maka & Soul began slowdancing. "Don't fall for that music, just kill them all!"

"W-what are you trying to do Maka?" the final Madness asked slowly beginning to turn back into Soul. "Remember how earlier I said we can be something more?" Maka asked softly. "Well it's because, I do kinda have a crush on you. I mean, after all we've done for each other I'm surprised you haven't admitted that either."

"Yeah, gonna be honest, I do too." Soul confessed. "Even this music is something we made together, isn't it?" he asked slowly bringing his partner in for a kiss. "Yeah."

"NO! NO NO NO! I can't be foiled by the power of cliches, what will Master Cipher think?!" the suited imp panicked trying to separate the newfound lovers. "Well we think you need to go." Crona snarled shoving him off the pillar and into the inky blackness below. "I know he'll get you for all of this!"

As Maka and Soul finally kissed, the mindscape went completely white.

--

"Yeesh, couldn't wait until after we saved the world, huh?"

When the pair broke, they found themselves back in the Fearamid with the entire Mystery Meister crew, plus the recently returned Stan and Preston, surrounding them. Spirit burst into tears about his daughter finding love, Mabel & Marie highfived each other for a match made and Black Star gave his buddy a thumbs up. "My man!"

"Everyone." Soul gasped looking at them all. "And Mr. Pines too!?" he exclaimed staring at Stan. "Yep, in the flesh Sharkbait." Stan cackled and took a deep breath. "Real nice for us all to be back together."

"So where do we go now?" Preston nervously asked and Dipper, Maka, Mabel & Soul looked onward at Kishin Cipher being double-teamed by the Shacktron and the Death City robot. "Kishin Cipher." they declared in unison.

Speaking of which, Kishin Cipher found himself backed into a corner by the two mechanized homes. "So, any suggestions my surviving goons?" he asked the remains of his army. "Well, it seems you can't directly hit the Shacktron." the Summerween Trickster analyzed. "So we must hit something with it!" Wax Sherlock Holmes added. "Like the other robot!" the Flying Dutchman concluded, which gave Kishin Cipher an idea. Shrinking down to regular size, he warped above Death City and extended his arm into its underground to seize Lord Death from his current hiding spot. "Not so all-powerful and all-knowing now, aren't you father?!"

"If this is part of another scheme, that's not going to happen!" Death shouted smacking Kishin Cipher in the face with his glove while being held by the antenna on top of his head. "I'll let you run free, if you hand over my soul." K.C. offered threatening him with an energy blast on his middle finger. "Or perhaps you'd much rather prefer being murdered on the spot in front of your soon to be dead son!"

"I'd never!" the Death God refused. "Well, suit yourself." the Dream Kishin casually answered carelessly dropping Lord Death on the ground from high above before his arm next searched the Death Room, eventually finding Asura's soul buried underneath one of the crosses within.

"Come to papa!" the monster announced swallowing the soul whole and beginning to get more stronger. Tiny bat wings emerged on his head which became more angular & chiseled, his arms more comedically muscular and the bandages forming into demonic wings. "And now for the main course!" he roared excitedly grabbing Death City by the large rock formation underneath and smashing the Mystery Shack into pieces, potentially killing everyone inside. "Oh no, I murdered everyone you love! Ah, don't be a bunch of sadsacks, cause you'll be joining them pretty soon!"

The Mystery Meisters stared in shock, horror and sadness at what just happened. Soos started crying uncontrollably at the possible loss of his fiance, Preston futilely reached out for his wife, Ford dropped to his knees in defeat and everyone else was in mourning.

All except for the Mystery Twins and Maka & Soul, who were absolutely furious at Kishin Cipher. Dipper held Excalibur tightly while tears leaked from his enraged eyes, Mabel stuck to her brother's side, Maka simply glared and Soul clenched his fists in fury.

The final battle for the fate of all humanity has finally begun. And in the distance, a certain clergyman stood atop a tree watching with a wolfman.

--

Hey there boys and girls, sorry this took so long! I just got tied up with so many things that this chapter took me nearly most of the year. But hopefully this is all worth it, even with some parts feeling rushed in my eyes. Is the resistance truly dead and has Kishin Cipher finally won?! Well, I guess the final line might make it pretty obvious. Join us next time for the epic final clash where the fate of Earth and all reality shall be decided.

[hauteseeker]

Part two of my southwest road trip consisted of my long drive through New Mexico to reach my first city Sedona, AZ. It also touches on the rest of my time spent in Phoenix. On this leg of my journey, I experienced a little less landscape and a bit more modern living. Some excellent food and reconnection with both friends and family.

Day 4: Santa Fe to Sedona

I got an early start and made my way West to Sedona. The six-hour drive was effortless and slightly distracting because there’s so much to see and so many times where I wanted to get out and take pictures. There are these moments of a real “western” scene with mountain backdrops and large freight trains passing through. It’s very surreal. I was waiting for a cowboy to ride past me at some point and time.

It was highly recommended by my friend to stop at the Acoma Pueblo, a community that has been in existence since 1100 a.b. The “Sky City” is a great stop to make before crossing the New Mexico border into Arizona. The Pueblo is known as,”a place prepared and ready to live.” The oldest remaining habitat is 15 miles from the interstate and sits on top of a mesmerizing hill. Tourist can visit the town, alongside a tour guide who most likely has direct family ties to the community. Our guide’s grandparents still have a home at Acoma. During the tour, many silly and somewhat ignorant questions asked of the people who lived in town, oh and to me, as I was the only black person there. Those curious Caucasians got a double dose of a minority culture that day!  It amazes me how so many people forget that this 2017 and the modern amenities that happen in the biggest of cities, most likely occur in the smallest of towns, especially when it comes to technology. Besides the unavoidable ignorance, the overall experience of this historical foundation not only insightful but compelling. I would love to go back to celebrate a holiday with the people of that community one day.

    I continued my drive making stops only to refuel. I drove by reservations, shops, and signature Navajo restaurants as I continued my passage to Sedona. I did make one pit stop in the city of Holbrook to see one of three remaining Wigwam Motel in the country on Old Route 66. The histroic site is nostaligc and fun. I can only imagine the types of families who were fortunate enough to travel and stay here. It makes me think of all the gimmicks hotels do now to attract guests. I can easily see this property getting a few improvements and turning into the “Wigwam Luxe” or something like that. What was once fashionable always comes back around.

  A few short hours later I arrived in Sedona. A beautiful city built on hills and red soil about two hours away from the Grand Canyon and Phoenix, respectively. After arriving in Sedona, I desperately needed a recharge, mostly a phone recharge and overall stretch after driving for several hours straight. I found a great deal using the site Homeaway to score a reasonably priced hotel in Sedona, prices in this region can easily range between $175-$500 during peak season. I got a nice stay at a resort hotel and timeshare not including tax for about $100.

Later that night, I grabbed dinner at The Hudson, a place I was planning on dining at once I made it to Sedona. Lucky I was a party of one, so I was seated pretty quickly on the outside patio during the busy Saturday night. Unfortunately, the sun had already set, so I was unable to take in the scenery in the area. The Hudson sits on a hill, giving patrons great views of the landscape. For dinner, I got the special for the evening, a Cornish Hen. The dish featured mixed vegetables such as peppers and asparagus as well as cornbread dressing with raisins. My taste buds were treated to an early Thanksgiving feast. The dinner and ambiance were overall excellent. After a huge meal, I was more than ready to make my way back to the hotel and chill out. It was only  9 p.m., when I passed out for the evening.

Day 5: Sedona to Phoenix

The next morning I got up around 6 a.m. to hike and watch the sunrise at Red Rock State Park.  I did not expect the challenge that lied ahead of me. The climb up Bell Rock was pretty moderate to hard in terms of hiking. Bell Rock is about 4,000 ft above elevation. I don’t I went quite that high, but I was certainly up there. The hike was amazing, I had an incredible amount energy and was up for another round of hiking, but I had to keep it moving for the next part of my trip to Phoenix.

Let the Hike to Red Rock begin!

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After my morning hike, I repacked my things to make my way to Phoenix. About a two-hour drive South of Sedona. The winding roads through the cactus-filled mountains were steep, deep, vast, and acutely elevated the whole way through.

I made great timing arriving in Phoenix and met up with my lovely host for the next three days Olivia. She was previously my a coworker at Bloomingdale’s. Just like me, she is all about exploring. We immediately hit the road, after dropping off my rental car, and made our way to the downtown Phoenix area check our their art district. It was Sunday, so it was pretty deserted while we were there, which is good when you don’t want anyone blocking your photo opportunities! The wall art there is impressive. My favorite was this abandoned house that was painted with all different types of graffiti and sketches. In the same neighborhood was a modern coffee shop that we stopped by to grab some drinks to cool us off in the sweltering Arizona heat. It’s the epitome of minimalism, something that would be perfect in Wicker Park neighborhood in Chicago.

After we walked around for a bit, we both decided that the next move had to be for food. Earlier in my planning, I found out the area was hosting a Taco Fest, so we made our way to Scottsdale to check it out. It was a fantastic food festival. Super organized, fair prices, and fabulous tacos! Compared to ones that I have been to in Chicago, it was supremely better. They had several different tents to grab drinks, VIP access for optimal margarita tasting(if you were trying to spend some big bucks) and a lot of food vendors. I think what sold me were the prices. Tacos were only $2 each! I spent $20 on seven tacos and a drink. Not bad at all!

After a long hot day, we made our way back to her place. It was still pretty nice outside, so we went to the pool to soak in the hot tub and spill the tea. We had a lot to catch up on from the past two years that we hadn’t seen each other. It was great to talk about where we were and where we so desired to be. A fabulous way to end my first night there.

  Day 6: Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Mesa

The sixth day I was able to catch up on some long ignored e-mails as well as some news and gossip. Crazy how much you don’t pay attention to those things when you are busy soaking up a new place. It’s almost like the rest of the world stands still.

After we got dressed, we went out to explore some of Olivia’s favorite spots, which are fabulous and Instagram-worthy. We made our way to Luci’s for brunch. The grocer/restaurant was charming. The food, eh. The best thing about the meal was the drink. An “Arnold Palmer” like a concoction of green tea and watermelon flavored lemonade.

After that, we made our way to AZ Pops to grab some popsicles. Super nostalgic. I can’t think of the last time I had a homemade popsicle like the one at AZ Pops. I chose the peach and prickly pear combo. It was very different; prickly pears are flowers found only on a particular type of cactus. As I later learned at the Desert Botanical Garden, they can be made into candies or eaten raw.  The popsicle was great, and I even had a chance to chat with the store owner. Another person on my trip who had some pretty strong ties to the Chicago area( her husband was born and raised in Oak Park). We also stopped into some nice stores in the area. One, in particular, had a friendly Cali vibe, which is to be expected in this area of the country. Clothes were cute, but sizing was limited.

  We were both parched after a light afternoon of walking so we made our way to the Royal Palms Resort for a refreshing beverage and a little exploration. The hotel has amazing architecture, a Spanish Colonial Revival villa that was once used as a winter home back in the 1920’s. The resort is at the base of Camelback Moutain and is absolutely fabulous.

    After our daytime romp of the lavish resort life, we made our way to dinner at Cornish Pasty. A pleasant looking restaurant with the feel of an Olive Garden on the outside and an underground dive bar on the inside. That was my first impression, at least at this location. I had never heard of a pasty and was excited to try the British born dish. A pasty is associated with Cornwall, England, a once well-known mining community. The original pasties would be filled with both meat and vegetables as well as sweets, each on their respective ends of the pasties.

The pastys at Cornish are so varied that anyone from carnivore to vegan can find something that they like. I decided to try to Roast Beef Sarnie. The pasty was a combination of house roasted beef, red and green bell peppers, portabello, onions, swiss and cheddar blend served with a horseradish sour cream sauce. Oh my gosh, so good! Everything blended well and was perfectly seasoned. The beef wasn’t too tender, and the sauce was the perfect addition. A chef recommended another sauce which was excellent as well, not sure what it was called though. Something to note about Cornish Pasty is the dishes come as they are described, you cannot pick and choose the ingredients you want inside the pasty. It is literally all or nothing. Go with the all; it’s totally worth it.

Olivia was dead set on making it to the Fountain Hills neighborhood to watch the sunset. So we quickly got dressed and dolled and made our way to the high-priced neighborhood. We found our way up to Copper Wynd Resort, looking absolutely fabulous. I swear, I had a Waiting to Exhale moment here. It reminds me so much of the area that the film was shot. I know the movie is old, but buildings last a long time so I could be right! We arrived just in time to see the sunset and get some glamour shots in as well.

After Copper Wydn we made our way back into the downtown Phoenix area to see what bars were popping on a Monday night. Not too many. We found our way into the Valley Bar, where we grabbed another drink(excellent drink prices), talked life, and finished up another fabulous night.

Day 7: Phoenix to Chicago

Day seven was an early start to a very, very long day. We kicked things off with a trip to the Desert Botanic Garden. I would be surprised if there is anything else like it in the world! The garden was amazing. Cactus from all different parts of Central and North America, other desert found foliage, as well as a majestic butterfly garden that was locked down tighter than the White House. Seriously, they were doing the most to keep those butterflies in that garden! We continued exploring the gardens and came across beautiful sculptures as well as some very quirky volunteers who taught us a few things about our surroundings.

one man + one leaf =

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  After the garden, we had just enough energy before lunch to make it to the landscape wonder, Hole in the Rock at the Papago Park. The hike to the hole in the natural formation is a quick 7-minutes up the rock. This is an ideal place to catch at sunrise or sunset if your timing is right.

  After our morning of walking and hiking, we proceeded to have a mini sweet and savory tour of the city. We made our way to República Empanada, a super cute restaurant located in the South Side Heights neighborhood of downtown Mesa.The empanadas were incredibly delicious. We were there for the lunch special of two empanadas plus rice and beans. We both added classic Coke De Mexico’s and enjoyed a less than $10 lunch on the cute patio in the back of the restaurant.

We also stopped by one of Olivia’s favorite spots to grab dessert, The Coronado.  They made one of the best brownies I ever had, and it didn’t contain one bit of dairy or eggs. Amazing!  We then proceeded to search for some and came across one that featured a mesh of vintage goods, artifacts and other apothecary furnishings called, The French Bee. After perusing that we made our way to a hipster-ish bar to chill and kill some more time before my flight and dinner.

It’s an unspoken rule, that if you find yourself in a city where you know someone and have a pretty good relationship with them, that you let them know you are there. At least, that’s what I try to do. Even if you never have a chance to see the person, at least you let them know you were in town. This day in age, it’s always good to let a few people know you are around. Seriously. If anything for safety reasons. Anyways, I had told my cousin who lives in Arizona that I was visiting. Shame on me that I waited until the morning that I was leaving to see if we could meet up. I know, tsk, tsk.

I asked my cousin Eric to meet us at this restaurant called Fire and Brimstone located at Barnone in Gilbert. Barnone is an innovative retail/workspace for handcrafted goods. It features everything from handmade stationary to experimental winemakers. Great place to craft a small business. At Fire and Brimstone, I opted for The Fire and Brimstone pizza. The 12-inch pizza came dressed in spicy tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella, jalapeños, house-made merguez sausage, and cilantro. It was by far one of the freshest pizza’s I have ever tasted! I had a couple of slices that I devoured on my flight back to Chicago. After my week-long adventure, this was a beautiful night, over pizza with friends and family.

I would arrive back in Chicago at 4 a.m. that Wednesday morning.

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  Reflections Part Two

During the second half of my trip, I was able to reconnect with friends and family. During that time, a lot was discussed that challenged me to consider my relationships in general. Does this person care about our friendship? If so, what type of effort are they putting in? Am I doing my part as well? The trip also resurfaced ideas of changing my own personal landscape. Many people move to an area to be fully submerged so that they can break into a certain industry or career. Others, move far from it and reach a market untapped allowing for success in that arena too. It’s a reminder that growth can happen anywhere, you just have to be the one to make it happen!

Travel Trips

If you are wondering how I managed to have such a successful trip solo, here are my ‘haute’ Do’s and Don’ts:

Do Plan ahead. I looked into accommodations, flights, rental cars, and connections before my trip. This allowed me to use my time in the most optimal manner. I would be surprised at the end of the day how much I was able to get done. Something I need to implement more in my everyday life as well.

Do get Advice. There is nothing wrong with asking people for things to do, especially if they live there. I asked my friend who grew up in Arizona if he could recommend some things to do in Santa Fe. He gave me my whole ‘cultural’ itinerary. I made sure to connect with my previous co-worker and cousin as soon as booked my ticket to the area.

Do stay hydrated. There is a lot, and I mean a lot of exposure to the sun in that area. Be sure, especially if you are driving to buy a couple of liters or packs of water, so you never run out. Oh, and snacks too if you are in a time crunch.

Do look for discounts. You can ask anybody who knows me well. I know a lot of things to do, but I don’t spend a lot of money to enjoy them. If you are traveling, make sure you look into resident discounts, reciprocal memberships, library affiliations, free entry days, Groupon, etc. It will save you money.

Do try new things. Going to Ojo and experiencing the hot spring was one of the highlights of my trip! I am hooked and want to try every natural spring out there!

Do carry two phones. I chose to bring my work phone with me as well as my phone. Best decision ever. It’s great for navigation and music if you are forgoing a tradition map. Plus, you never know what will happen, better to have an extra device, just in case.

Do savor the moment. It is such a blessing to travel. It’s beautiful to see the sunset into various shades of purple, yellow, and orange hues. To look at the starts, uninterrupted by city lights, to see the landscape barely touched by humanity. Breathe it all in. You never know when you will be back.

Final Thoughts

I am so overjoyed that I had the opportunity to visit these two great states and tackle all the unique cities in between. I was exposed to not only massive amounts of sun, people, culture, art, food, and community. I am hooked on the beauty of the southwest and look forward to seeking more of it in the future. Don’t be surprised if you see a future post of my travels through Utah and Denver or something within that range!I am so blessed to have had this soul seeking experience and can’t wait to revisit both places!

    Albuquerque to Phoenix: Seven Days Seeking the Southwest Pt.2 Part two of my southwest road trip consisted of my long drive through New Mexico to reach my first city Sedona, AZ.

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Vampires: You're Doin’ It Wrong

by Melissa G.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Melissa kindly provides Fb's obligatory Twilight article.~

So with the release of New Moon, and that fact that it has now beaten out the sales of, like, everything ever, I am reminded strongly of the intense rage I feel for anything Twilight-related. Add that to the rage-inspiring feminism kick I’ve been on lately, and it should come as no surprise that I’ve decided to have a go at Twilight. Because nothing inspires my rage-o-meter more than a woman writing a book damaging to women, especially teenage women.

I can only personally speak to the first book as that is the one I read. I decided to spare my sanity and keep the others far, far away from me lest my brain start melting out my ears. Let me give a brief disclaimer: I had negative feelings toward Twilight before I even read it, and I kind of only read it so I didn't feel hypocritical hating it so much. So, was my judgment colored? Yes, it was. But that doesn’t mean that my points aren’t valid and supported by the text.

Here's my issue with Twilight. I can accept Twilight as a guilty pleasure read. I understand why so many girls are titillated by the idea of it; every novel or TV series or movie that I’m exposed to, I, too, will inevitably fall for the vulnerable, sympathetic bad guy (Draco Malfoy, anyone?). What I object to is the people who are under the opinion that Twilight is a well-written, well-crafted, original book that realistically and believably captures a healthy and functional relationship between two people who truly love each other.

Not only is the book inherently flawed in its conception, but it isn’t even written well to make up for it. One of the biggest examples of writing-fail comes in the prologue of the book. Meyer wrote a prologue about an imminent death in first person past tense. Say that with me again. IMMINENT death. FIRST person. PAST tense. Immediately any sort of actual terror inspired by this passage is moot because it's pretty obvious that this imminent death is not happening. And it’s not even as if the prose itself manages to inspire some sense of fear or suspense. Bella tells us she’s “terrified”, but the writing here focuses on her thought process, which is quite lengthy and calm for someone who is about to die. I kind of imagine the killer looking at his watch and tapping his foot while he allows her to think all this out. Surely, the point of putting this scene at the beginning of the book is to create suspense, and it fails miserably in this.

So, as you can see, Twilight was off to a fabulous start with me. It was like going to a blind date you regretted agreeing to and seeing the complete antithesis of what is attractive and desirable to you. But I was willing to keep going and give the book a shot to impress and win me over. So I begrudgingly continued reading, and sadly it did not get any better. I will address the following things in this rant: Shiny Vampires, Bella-fail, and Abuse = Love.

Let's start right off with: Shiny Vampires

I have always liked the idea of vampires. Vampires in literature have predominately functioned as metaphors – most commonly as metaphors for sex and seduction. Dracula, arguably the most famous vampire novel, did exactly this. Dracula is about sexual repression. The vampires represent sex; the staking of Lucy in the graveyard is written very well to read disturbingly as a rape scene, and the three sisters, as well as Dracula himself, are seductive and deadly. And being turned into a vampire means to give in to your sexual desire. And let’s face it, with all the penetration (by teeth) and exchanging of bodily fluids (blood), it’s not hard to see what Stoker was going for.

All Twilight did was indulge an extremely common fantasy that has been done many times before, and honestly, it's a lot more acceptable when you don't try to defend the blood-sucking undead creature's really outrageously inappropriate behavior by equating it with love. Yes, it's fine to investigate the downside of immortality, to make your vampires angsty, but the problem I have with "Twipires" is that they really don't make any sense outside of "Vampires need to do this so my plot works." There are some lazy attempts to explain why vampires are acting so OOC or doing conveniently plot relevant things, but it comes off more as lazy writing than plausible excuse. For example, the reason they go to high school is because they need to start as young as possible in a new town so that people won’t notice right away that they’re not aging. I don’t know that being the odd home-schooled family would make them stand out any more than they already do, but if they didn’t go to high school, I guess there would be no book – you know, unless you came up with another plausible reason for two people to meet and interact.

And here’s where Edward doesn’t even try to provide any sort of reasonable explanation for the inconsistencies:

“Don’t laugh – but how can you come out during the daytime?” He laughed anyway. “Myth.” “Burned by the sun?” “Myth.” “Sleeping in coffins?” “Myth.”

That’s it, folks. That’s all we get. Not even an attempt at why these things have gotten misconstrued over the years. No line about that damn Bram Stoker getting all these ideas in people’s heads or anything. No attempt at all.

So, let's go over what goes into making a "Twipire". They drink blood, they don't age, they have super speed and strength, they can't die easily (in fact, even conventional methods like stakes and sun don't work), and, the biggie, they don't combust in the sun - they sparkle like a magical little pony. Oh, and let's not forget that some of them develop cool powers completely arbitrarily that are convenient to the plot and only serve to make her characters more “speshul” and nifty. There are certain changes I can accept in vampire mythology, such as it being a virus ala Blade or deciding that vampires can't actually do things like turn into bats and such. But when you take away the essential things that make a vampire a vampire (not being able to go out in the day, being killed by stakes), these creatures cease to be recognizable as vampires. By denying them the core elements of their identity, the vampires are domesticated in a way. Their power, both as characters and as literary devices, is taken away. It would be like if someone wrote about vampires and decided that instead of drinking blood, they had to stand upside down on their heads for at least five hours a day to keep living. And I highly doubt that vampires are the only monster in common mythology that lives on blood. Why not find a better creature to suit your needs instead of changing an already existing mythos almost completely?

I suppose my more basic issue with them is that I don't see much real downside to being a vampire in this world. They're super-strong, super-fast, get cool powers possibly, seem to be fairly uninhibited from going outside, and are immortal and nearly unkillable. Sounds pretty good to me. From what I could see, there was no good argument against turning Bella into a vampire pretty much immediately except, of course, that maybe you're too young at seventeen to know who you want to spend the rest of your life with, but this isn't a claim the book seems interested in exploring. As far as I remember, the problem Edward has with turning Bella into a vampire has everything to do with not wanting to make her into a monster like him and nothing to do with the fact that their love might not be forever. Instead, their everlasting love is presented as a given. Now, in Bella’s teenage mind, this is acceptable; it’s very common to think your high school boyfriend is “the one”. But no one in the text – or the text itself – seems to challenge this idea. To use another vampire/human relationship most of us are probably aware of, Angel – being older and having more life-experience – believes that Buffy has a teenage crush on him and will eventually mature out of the idea that having a vampire boyfriend is cool or at all emotionally satisfying. Twilight doesn’t tackle these more covert emotional complications of a vampire/human relationship; it is satisfied to merely deal with the obvious, which makes their relationship far less interesting to the reader.

Let's move on to Bella-fail...

So, anytime I say the words "Mary Sue" and the person I'm talking to goes "huh?", I simply say, "Like Bella." And they immediately understand. Okay, I do tend to give a sort of definition as well, but as soon as I mention Bella, I need say no more. Bella is the epitome of Mary Sue. She keeps insisting over and over how she isn't pretty or popular or special, but the text pretty much contradicts her at every turn. No one liked her at her old school, she wasn't popular, she's doesn't stand-out, and yet, in her first few days of school, she has three, count 'em, three guys all clamoring immediately for her attention (Eric, Mike, and Tyler – we’ll not even count Edward and Jacob yet). So, this girl who insists how absolutely plain she is is someone still capable of arresting the attention of, like, every guy in school. I call bullshit. Now, here’s a quote from Meyer giving an answer to the question, “Why do all the guys at Forks High like Bella if she's supposed to be average-looking? Is she pretty or not?”

Some parts of Bella's experiences are modeled after real life (my life, to be exact) in order to ground the fantasy aspects of the story in solid reality. Ironically, many of the details that are one hundred percent reality are the ones that are called into question the most (as illustrated by some of my angry Amazon reviews). In this particular case, I modeled Bella's move to Forks after my real life move from high school to college. (Personal story alert!) I mentioned in my bio that I went to a high school in Scottsdale, AZ, which is Arizona's version of Beverly Hills (picture the high school in the movie Clueless). In high school, I was a mousy, A-track wall-flower. I had a lot of incredible girlfriends, but I wasn't much sought after by the Y chromosomes, if you know what I mean. Then I went to college in Provo, Utah. Let me tell you, my stock went through the roof. See, beauty is a lot more subjective than you might think. In Scottsdale, surrounded by barbies, I was about a five. In Provo, surrounded by normal people, I was more like an eight.

I can accept that going from a big city to a small town might bump her number up a little. There are definitely people who are “small-town hot” but not “NY/LA hot”. Fine. But here’s what the text had to say:

“You don’t see yourself very clearly, you know. I’ll admit you’re dead on about the bad things,” he chuckled blackly, “but you didn’t hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your first day.”

Checkmate, Meyer. Edward says “every human male in this school”. I can accept more guys in Forks liking her than in Arizona, but come on? Every male in school? Even the gay ones? I guess there also aren't any lesbians at Bella's school either.

Oh, and as with all Mary Sues, Bella has one tiny little adorable flaw. She's clumsy. Laughably clumsy. Plot-convenience driven clumsy. This is only made worse by the fact that her clumsiness often induces knight-in-shining-armor behavior from men, resulting in Bella constantly needing to be saved. Now, I understand that when she's surrounded by vampires, she is the weakest and it wouldn't make sense for her to be kick-ass, but the fact that she also needs help when she's just walking is a little much for me to take. And Edward's constantly cheesy lines about how he can’t leave her alone for a second just sound extremely patronizing. And here come a bunch of them!

“I’ve never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it’s much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that’s probably just because it’s you.” “Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So…try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?” “You were right. I’m definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive.” “I’m surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed.” “Are you referring to the fact that you can’t walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

Bella is so utterly incompetent at walking. And it makes her absolutely incapable of taking care of herself. She constantly needs men to help her. It's infuriating. She almost gets hit by a car, but magical Edward is there to save her. She almost gets mugged/raped by some random Straw Men in Port Angeles, but luckily, Edward was stalking her so he could leap in to the rescue. This reinforces in young girls’ heads that they are helpless without a man around. And that being helpless is perfectly okay because one day, they'll find a big, strong, practically perfect in every way man so that all they need to do is sit around birthing babies.

Now I'd like to talk about the character of Bella, but she is so miraculously vague, especially given that the book is entirely in her point of view. What does come off, to me at least, is that she is horribly arrogant and ungrateful. She seems to have a bad enough relationship with her father that she calls him by his first name, but there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that he is anything but a genuinely nice, protective Papa. He buys her a car (more than a lot of parents would do), tries to be involved with her life (how dare he?!), and even seems rather guilty and embarrassed that he can't cook for her.

He seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way.

This of course also reinforces such wonderful gender stereotypes. But the fact remains that Bella's treatment of her father seems rather unfair and unfounded, and pretty much just came off ungrateful and nasty. He didn't have to let her come move in with him to begin with, but he actually wanted her there, a fact she seems to take completely for granted.

Her snootiness is evident again when she meets Jessica, who as far as the book tells us, has done nothing but be nice and try to include Bella into her circle of friends. Again, this is more than a lot of teenage girls would do for the new kid in school. And yet, Bella seems extremely judgmental of Jessica simply because, I guess, she lives in Forks? I've been told by people that Jessica does actually turn out to be a bitch, but unless Bella shares Alice's “speshul” power, I don't take this as an excuse for her nastiness in the prose toward someone who is just trying to be friendly.

One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. […] I couldn’t remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn’t try to keep up.

As if the use of the word “prattle” isn’t bad enough – it indicates Jessica is vapid and ditzy – Bella doesn’t even “try to keep up” with what Jessica is saying. Obviously she feels Jessica is below her. She isn’t even bothered to remember her name, nor does she seem to care that she doesn’t know it.

And then the fact that she's asked out by several guys to the dance is presented as merely annoying (which I'm sure it is), but not at all flattering. You’d think someone who’s never been noticed by guys before would find this overwhelming and exciting even if she isn’t interested in them. It’s also really hard to make anyone feel sorry for someone who has too many choices when it comes to guys.

Also, Bella likes to constantly point out to us in the prose that she has already done all the things that the kids in Forks are doing in school.

I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I’d already read everything. That was comforting…and boring.

Is this a commentary on big city schools vs. small town schools? Perhaps, but it’s a rather unfounded and unfair conclusion. I think this is put in deliberately to make us think Bella is smart.

We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. It was straightforward, very easy.

Are we meant to believe that it was easy for her because she was smart? Because it’s more likely that it was easy for her because she’d covered the material before. There is nothing smarter about being in a school that has a faster moving curriculum, and hell, there's not really evidence of that, only evidence that they are different curriculums. And anyone who has switched schools knows that no two schools work exactly the same in America. My friend (at a big city private school) and I (at a small town public school) read exactly the same books in high school, but we read them in different years. Also, the fact that Bella enjoys things like Charlotte Bronte tell us she's smart. You know what? If you were really smart, you'd still pay attention and just do it all again for review purposes or look into doing more challenging projects instead of the easy assignments you already know. Also:

I wondered if my mom would send me my folder of old essays

Lazy. Not smart.

I'm sure there's much more I can say, but let's move on to: Abuse = Love.

This is, much as people like to argue with me, a HUGE problem with the Edward/Bella relationship. I have been told by people that if I just read the short story that explains it all from Edward's point of view, it will all make sense and cease to be creepy and stalkerish. I disagree. Looking into the head of the perpetrator of terrible behavior makes the behavior understandable not excused. It's like holding up Lolita and proclaiming that NAMBLA or like-minded people have totally valid arguments because if you just read this book, you'll get it.

Let's talk about Edward/Bella, shall we? Her interest in him is spurred nearly completely by what she takes as his distaste for her.

Just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face – it was hostile, furious. […] I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by him, bewildered by the antagonistic stare he’d given me. [ …] He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad.

He treats her extremely rudely, acts like a total freak, and she can't stop thinking about him and starts becoming obsessed with solving the mystery that is the jerkface who sits next to her in biology. Now, I understand the curiosity, and I understand her wanting to know why some guy she's never really interacted with seems to hate her so much, but the difference to me is that most of the time, the guy who is treating you like shit rarely ends up being your "twu luv". He might be that asshole you dated for a while because he was hot or because you didn't have enough self-confidence to know you deserved better, but he should not be your true love, and the fact that Twilight represents this really bothers me. Especially given how seriously it's taken by teenage girls. As an adult reading it as a guilty pleasure, you can indulge yourself in the James Dean-esque bad boy with a heart of gold thing and then let it go and return to reality. I don’t believe that most teenage and pre-teens girls have the emotional maturity that would allow them to do this.

Twilight is reinforcing the idea that really, he just treats you that way because he loves you too much. (Sounds remarkably like classic spousal abuse defense, no?) And I'm not saying this was her intent, but unfortunately, it is what the book ends up doing. See, Edward's coldness and refusal to interact with her was really just him loving her too much. His sneaking into her room while she was sleeping every night for months was more evidence of his deep and meaningful love. And the true symbol of his affection is the fact that manages to keep from raping - er, I mean, biting - her as his nature as a man - er, uh, vampire - pressures him to do.

This is slightly off topic, but I get more than a little annoyed at how most media seems to believe that there is either making out or sex with absolutely nothing in between the two. To go past kissing immediately means having sex. Um, no. Untrue. Extremely untrue. And it bothers me that this idea is ingrained in teen's heads nowadays. To take this back to Twilight, let's look at the scene when they kiss, and this is her response:

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent. Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression. “Oops,” I breathed. “That’s an understatement.” [….] “Should I…?” I tried to disengage myself, to give him some room. His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch. “No, it’s tolerable.”

Her sexual arousal is “tolerable”? Not to mention, she did barely anything in this scene; the behavior was extremely tame and yet is represented as too much. While I can applaud the fact that the woman in the relationship is pushing for sex/vampirism and the man is the one refusing, the execution actually does more harm than good. It makes it seem like Bella's desires are dirty and wrong, thus pigeonholing women back into their "you can't enjoy sex" boxes. To look at some other examples:

There was really no excuse for my behavior. Obviously I knew better by now. And yet I couldn’t seem to stop from reacting exactly as I had the first time. Instead of keeping safely motionless, my arms reached up to twine tightly around his neck and I was suddenly welded to his stone figure. I sighed, and my lips parted. He staggered back, breaking my grip effortlessly. “Damn it, Bella!” he broke off, gasping. “You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.”

Again, very slight sexual actions – Bella pressed her body into his – are portrayed as catastrophic to Edward’s ability to control himself sexually. (Remember, I’m looking at the “urge to bite” as equivalent to “urge to sleep with. Not to mention that the phrase “safely motionless” really irks me. It makes me think that women are just meant to lie there while they allow men have sex with them. Because god-forbid we, you know, enjoy it or something.

“What am I going to do with you?” he groaned in exasperation. “Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!”

That’s right, his kiss was so passionate that she passed out. All he did before this happened was “[touch] his cool lips to mine for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly”. That’s a pretty tame kiss. The book ends up presenting any form of sexual desire – no matter how slight – as a very big deal. And let’s note that he’s “exasperated” with her behavior. And when Edward restrains himself, it's supposed to be admirable rather than expected. He's so great! He can stop himself from raping people! My hero! To see this illustrated, take a look at this passage which occurs right after the first kiss when he pushes her away after she gets too into it:

He laughed aloud. “I’m stronger than I thought. It’s nice to know.” “I wish I could say the same. I’m sorry.”

Edward saying this is like he’s patting himself on the back for his self control. Because as a man, he can’t help but want to have sex with Bella. But apparently Bella’s desire to have sex with him is something to apologize for. Not to mention, she manages to spike his sexual desire by merely being a woman (albeit one with a super special smell, wtf?). And that is her fault.

Sex is not a decision teens should make lightly, and it's nice that Meyer wants to show them that you can be in love without having sex, but I think the harm rather outweighs the good in this case. Not to mention how the characters fit nicely into ye olde gender roles. Bella is the cook, the nurturer, the damsel in distress, and later even child-bearer while Edward is a manly man who saves and protects women when he's not making them feel like absolute shit and/or skeeving them the hell out.

Also I saw very little motivation for Edward's affections aside from "Bella's hawt". In fact, there seems to be very little motivation for any of the boys interested in her. As for Bella and Edward, they certainly don't seem to connect on an intellectual level, and why should they, given their age difference, because no matter how much the characters and first person prose try to tell us Bella is mature for her age, it just doesn't seem so. Basically their whole relationship is completely unbalanced; the two are not at all on equal footing, reinforcing the idea that men and women cannot be equal in a relationship either in power or intelligence.

This is also brings me to the idea of “love at first sight”. Edward falls in love with Bella pretty much the instant he sees her. He falls totally in love with her despite knowing absolutely nothing about her. And yet, despite her being plain and him never having spoken to her, he is protective and obsessed with her completely. I understand this is a fantasy of a relationship, but I’ve seen Harlequins try harder to create some sense of compatibility between their characters. And actually, none of the boys who vie for Bella’s affections do something as insane as getting to know her first.

Twilight is the worst of all the things it tries to be. It’s a bad vampire novel, it’s a bad romance, and it’s bad teen fiction. The vampires serve no real purpose to the book, other than to be “cool” or “hot”, and they are even stripped of their basic vampire identities. As a romance, the book fails because the relationship is abusive and the sexual aspects are seen as dirty and wrong rather than titillating. And the messages it gives to its teen audience are wholly irresponsible and set back women’s sexual freedom a few hundred years. The only thing Twilight succeeds at is being far more popular than its writing or premise should allow.

Themes:

Books

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Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Young Adult / Children

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Guy

at 01:40 on 2009-12-21

I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I’d already read everything. That was comforting…and boring.

Yes, because any halfway smart teenage girl would have read and understood the complete works of Shakespeare, and as for Chaucer! Pfft, glance over it once and you know it all, of course it's going to be boring! Where's the experimental poetry written in Esperanto that every typical teenager hungers for in their unending quest for ever-more abstruse literary forms to satisfy their perfectly natural desire to move beyond something basic like Shakespeare or, *shudder*, Faulkner!

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at 02:06 on 2009-12-21I take issue with your belief that "most teenage girls" aren't capable of dealing with this kind of in a healthy way. This kind of thing is actually a big part of why the Twilight-hate phenomenon annoys me.

I haven't read them, but I've read a lot about them and a number of passages, and I have little doubt that they're as dreadful as people say. But there are a lot of dreadful things in the world. Similarly misanthropic and stereotypical fare aimed at male audiences--think james Bond or something--is almost never singled out for this kind of, in my mind, hyperbolic criticism. We say all the time, and rightly, that James Bond, or Generic Sci-Fi/Action movie glorifies violence and sexism in an inappropriate way, but rarely do we accuse a specific author of "damaging" the nations male youth. I think there's probably a substantial pool of savvy young women who know exactly what the score is but read Twilight anyway.

On the substance of the article: Counterfactual criticism alert!

I don't actually have a problem with the idea that she has no need to work on her school's curriculum; it seems like a fairly self-conscious plot device to facilitate the demands of this genre's plots.

Basically, creating a justification for why she doesn't have to work at schools so she has more time to devote the adventures and trials of the actual plot. Especially in a fantasy story involving our heroes being initiated into a "secret world," that seems pretty much necessary unless the story is *about* the difficulty of juggling magic and high school.

It comes off badly because Bella is such an annoying character, but I suggest that if she used the time she saved to compose music, build robots in her garage, or even flirt with some dude who was vaguely interesting, you wouldn't have objected.

Re: Belledward

I've not read the books and have no desire to, but Kit Whitfield has an interesting and more sympathetic take: she considers the book a depiction of a fantastic, diealized BDSM relationship:

"for instance, dragging her to the prom, Edward finds Bella exlaiming 'in horror' and 'mortified' - which he responds to with a masterful, 'Don't be difficult, Bella.' This would sound like genuine objections on her part if her real protest was at being taken to a dance she wants to avoid. But making her dance is merely a lily-white way of pressing her limits; when they get going it's like this:

"Edward." My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper. " I honestly can't dance!" I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest.

"Dont worry, silly," he whispered back. "I can." He put my arms around his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine.

And then we were whirling, too.

"I feel like I'm five years old," I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing.

Bella is scared, but when skilfully pushed over the edge she finds herself having a wonderful time; this is an interplay of dominance and submission, Edward making Bella do things she discovers she actually wanted, rather than serious coercion. Words like 'gulped' and 'pouted' keep coming up, which is hardly the language of genuine resistance. The real reason Bella was upset is not that he's ignored her insistence that she doesn't want to go, it's that she thought tonight might be the night he vamped her and he's disappointed her 'half-fearful hopes'. She doesn't mind Edward making her do stuff; what she minds is when he won't make her do it. And in fact, as I'll mention later, when they finally do get down to business, Bella seems quite capable of erotic pain as well."

Not having read the book, I don't know whether this is a plausible construction; I suspect that it's probably partially valid, but that the quality of the writing introduces some regrettable morals anyway.

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at 02:07 on 2009-12-21Sorry for the double post, but forgot to link Whitfield:

http://www.kitwhitfield.com/2009_08_01_archive.html

The post is "Innocent Libertinism" about halfway down the page.

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Arthur B

at 02:27 on 2009-12-21I posted

this

a while ago in the Playpen, but it's buried now, and it pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject. :)

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Arthur B

at 02:35 on 2009-12-21

We say all the time, and rightly, that James Bond, or Generic Sci-Fi/Action movie glorifies violence and sexism in an inappropriate way, but rarely do we accuse a specific author of "damaging" the nations male youth.

There is a difference, though. James Bond, Rambo, Conan and their ilk go around kicking ass, laying down the law, and generally exerting authority over the situation throughout their lives. They are active, independent, and don't wait around for permission to go and get what they want.

Bella, based on Viorica's assessment here, is almost the complete reverse of that. She is passive to a fault. She wanders around getting into trouble. Then Edward shows up and helps her out. She gets into more trouble. Edward shows up and helps her out again. She basically allows Edward a control of her life which, if it's like Viorica describes, is complete to an almost frightening degree.

Now, imagine a young man who goes through life with the attitude of James Bond. Not in terms of going around shooting people, that's clearly fantasy, but in terms of taking on Bond's no-nonsense, take-charge attitude. What you would have there is a lad who takes the lead, who is proactive, who goes out and grabs life by the throat! In other words,

management material!

That boy will go far!

Now, imagine a girl who goes through life with Bella's attitude. Would you consider this to be empowering, like the scenario I outline above, or

massively disempowering

?

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Melissa G.

at 02:41 on 2009-12-21

I take issue with your belief that "most teenage girls" aren't capable of dealing with this kind of in a healthy way. This kind of thing is actually a big part of why the Twilight-hate phenomenon annoys me.

It's completely fair of you to take issue with it. And honestly, it's not just the teenage girls that do it; I've heard adult fans talk about the books without hearing any indication that they understand that Edward would be a horrible boyfriend in real life. And after hearing teenage girls in the school where I teach trying to defend the horrible behavior of their bfs to each other ("But you don't get WHY he cheated on me. Really, it's okay."), I'd rather lean on the side of caution with that one, personally.

it seems like a fairly self-conscious plot device to facilitate the demands of this genre's plots.

The problem is, I really don't read it that way at all. The book pretty much takes place exclusively in her school or around regular teenage activities. As far the first book goes, until the end, it's very much grounded in the every day. It's all focused around regular life: school and romance. So it would be completely natural to have her dealing with both homework and trying to have a social life. But, again, if she didn't come off so snotty about it, maybe I wouldn't care so much.

she considers the book a depiction of a fantastic, diealized BDSM relationship:

Oh, there's definitely some BD/fantasy rape aspects going on in there. A lot of romances fall into this trap, and this one is no different. Honestly, if this book weren't so popular, I wouldn't even give it a second glance. I'd just chalk it up to another bad romance novel with vampires. The fact that it has exploded this way makes me feel the need to point out its extreme flaws whenever I can b/c I'm confrontation that way. :-)

@Arthur

I loved that comic. It made me giggle.

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Melissa G.

at 02:42 on 2009-12-21Wrong author, Arthur, but I forgive you. :-)

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Melissa G.

at 02:48 on 2009-12-21

Edward making Bella do things she discovers she actually wanted, rather than serious coercion.

Sorry for multiple posts, but I just want to point out that the problem with this kind of thing is that it skates dangerously close to "No means yes." And while a common fantasy!rape aspect, it does not translate well into real life.

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Arthur B

at 02:59 on 2009-12-21

Wrong author, Arthur, but I forgive you. :-)

A sure sign that I've been staying up too late revising. Goodnight all!

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at 04:19 on 2009-12-21Melissa,

Re: "No means yes" -- first, let me say that I absolutely have no illusions about Stphanie Myers as a person. She publicly and repeatedly espouses destructive and horrifying values, and her own statements to the effect that Bella and Edward's is an unqualified ideal are problematic.

Setting her aside though and looking at the text--well, it depends on who you think it's talking to. Kit Whitfield's argument is that, just as erotica aimed at vanilla audiences often glosses over some or all of the anxiety, the miscommunication, the STI risk, and the need to learn what a new partner needs, letting our heroes have good sex the first time out, BDSM erotica omits the negotiation, safewords, and so on that are required for safe and healthy BDSM practice in the real world.

So then what do you make of its popularity? There's certainly an argument to be made that it's fandom is so ubiquitous it's obviously not *only* being appreciated by the kink community, or even by people with kinks they're no conscious of, but that on the contrary its phenomenal popularity is a sign that our culture, problematically, assumes female submission as a default value. It even sounds to me like because Ms. Myers didn't *intend* to write a BDSM Romance, the text itself blurs the lines between consensual BDSM and abuse in a skeevy way.

That said,I'm attracted to the BDSM interpretation because, well, I have friends who like Twilight and I'd like to think better of their taste. And while this can't be the entire explanation, I do think that these kinds of kinks are a lot more common than anybody lets on, and so I don't think the mainstreaming of kink, even femsub, is a harm *per se* and I think a careful critic can, and should, criticize the flaws in this particular book without condemning all femsub erotica.

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at 04:30 on 2009-12-21

I've not read the books and have no desire to, but Kit Whitfield has an interesting and more sympathetic take: she considers the book a depiction of a fantastic, diealized BDSM relationship:

So this is probably a bit off topic and (disclaimer) I don't speak from experience but from some research. As far as I understand what makes a healthy BDSM relationship is the knowledge and communication.

You don't just find yourself in a such a relationship (unromatic I know) you go into the relationship with the foreknowledge that you are entering a BDSM relationship with previously discussed and set up fail-safes so you and your partner don't end up crossing any lines. Which is what is missing in Twilight (and 1 million other romance novels). It's all the titillation of BDSM without any of the foundations that make it safe and fun.

So while I don't fault Twilight for it's romanticized BDSM it is part of whole genre of romantic BDSM and fantasy!rape. I don't think I could call it a good representation of a functioning BDSM relationship.

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Melissa G.

at 04:33 on 2009-12-21

So then what do you make of its popularity?

I imagine it's the same reason that we find this "BDSM/fantasy!rape" in the majority of romance novels. I'm not a psychologist or sociologist, but I can make a guess where the attraction comes from - even to someone who doesn't have that "kink".

The fantasy!rape situation allows for two things. 1) The woman doesn't have to admit to wanting sex and thus is spared the shame of having sexual desire. (She shouldn't have this shame, but because of things like Victorian age repression, a lot of women do.) and 2) It gives something of an ego boast to think that you are so sexy/amazing that he just can't control himself and must have you NOW! (Not to mention the long-standing idea that women are only worthwhile if they're attractive and what's a better gauge of your attractiveness than having a guy unable to control his sexual desires around you).

I definitely think the attraction to the fantasy!rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views women's sexuality. But sadly, I can totally see the attraction in these ideas, and I know I'm not alone. I mean, most romance is written by women for women and includes - what would be in the real world - very self-destructive behaviors. "No means yes" being the major one. And the thing is, I find nothing wrong with women taking private delight in this idea as long as they know full well that they are reading trashy romance novels and that this is a FANTASY.

The problem I have with Twilight falling into this category of romance is that it's marketed toward teens rather than adults, and it pretend to have wholesome, positive messages toward sex like, "Don't have sex before marriage".

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Melissa G.

at 04:58 on 2009-12-21And I want to clarify that I'm not saying that people who partake in BDSM are in some way perpetrating "negative female beahavior" or anything. What they are doing is between two consenting partners who have discussed all this beforehand. And I have no problem with BDSM and those who do it.

I'm speaking directly to why fantasy!rape is such an attractive idea to women.

**I'm going to bed so it may be a while before I'm able to respond again, fyi.

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Rami

at 05:13 on 2009-12-21The impression I'm getting from this discussion is that interpreting it as an idealized dom/sub relationship would assume a level of relative sensibility and communication between the people involved that isn't actually supported by the text. Which makes said interpretation rather problematic. Or have I missed something?

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at 05:24 on 2009-12-21

The impression I'm getting from this discussion is that interpreting it as an idealized dom/sub relationship would assume a level of relative sensibility and communication between the people involved that isn't actually supported by the text. Which makes said interpretation rather problematic. Or have I missed something?

yes or at least that is what I was awkwardly aiming at.

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at 05:25 on 2009-12-21@Ninjacatman

What you say about BDSM is also how I understand the matter to be. I tried to say as much somewhere in my wall of text. The trick is, while communication and trust are the difference between BDSM play and abuse, they're also the difference between a good vanilla relationship and a shitty one.

Erotic fiction generally doesn't bother to depict all of the set-up work required for a healthy vanilla relationship, so it seems to me that BDSM erotica should get the same fantasy-license--at least when it's clearly labeled. The trouble with Twilight is that it isn't marketed as BDSM and its author doesn't acknowledge it as a kinky relationship.

@Melissa G.

I don't think children are as in need of protection as you seem to feel. Sure, some children get bad ideas from things they read: I got plenty of bad ideas about life from my own fantasy diet, though I like to think I didn't absorb too much of the misogyny.

But teenagers can be pretty savvy readers, and especially in the age of internet fandom I think it's pretty obvious that teenagers can engage critically with their favorite texts and decide what they like and what they don't. Furthermore, setting aside the example of Twilight specifically, i'm concerned that you feel fantasy!rape is something only adult women should be permitted to read about.

Teenagers are people who are growing into their sexuality and exploring their sexual imagination, and I think consciously chose "exploring" over "forming." Most of the kinky people I know well enough to discuss this with reported basically having their kinks from a very early age, often before they had a real awareness of sexuality. Sure, the way our media sexualises violence probably shapes the way some teenagers perceive sexuality, but it's important to remember that teendom isn't any child's first exposure to the media; those ideas have been around for a while.

On the basis of the anecdotal evidence available to me, I think a substantial number of people reach the age of 13 with a pre-existing and life-long attraction to fantasy!rape. To tell those people of either gender that they, unlike their vanilla peers, don't deserve access to sexually compelling literature seems a little repressive.

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Rami

at 05:31 on 2009-12-21

To tell those people of either gender that they, unlike their vanilla peers, don't deserve access to sexually compelling literature seems a little repressive.

I don't think anyone has suggested that so far.

I think a substantial number of people reach the age of 13 with a pre-existing and life-long attraction to fantasy!rape

That seems like an odd conclusion to draw, and while I obviously don't know the anecdotal evidence available to you, I personally would find such a conclusion extremely dubious.

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at 05:33 on 2009-12-21Melissa,

Sorry for double--post, I didn't see your latest comment before posting mine, which reassures me that your heart is in the right place. I stand by the substance of the comment though: Twilight may be problematic, but to state as you seem to that fantasy!rape is not appropriate material for teenage girls is, in my opinion, too far.

@Rami,

Idealized, not ideal. It's not a depiction of a relationship that would be healthy in real life; it's a relationship that only works in a fantasy world where you and your partner magically want the same thing without discussion.

Rennaissance fair fetishists don't (usually) read stories about people dressing as kings and queens, they read stories about fantasy!kings and fantasy!queens. Similarly, people who like pretending to be abused in real life would generally prefer to read about fantasy!abuse than other people pretending to be abused.

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at 05:35 on 2009-12-21

Erotic fiction generally doesn't bother to depict all of the set-up work required for a healthy vanilla relationship, so it seems to me that BDSM erotica should get the same fantasy-license--at least when it's clearly labeled. The trouble with Twilight is that it isn't marketed as BDSM and its author doesn't acknowledge it as a kinky relationship.

Yes, sorry I hadn't realized you posted again. My point isn't that it's bad erotica but that I don't know if I would feel comfortable calling it idealized or a good BDSM relationship rather than just calling it good erotica (which often seems to be based around bad relationships).

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Melissa G.

at 05:44 on 2009-12-21

i'm concerned that you feel fantasy!rape is something only adult women should be permitted to read about.

Oh, not at all! Teens should be free to explore and develop their sexuality as they come into it. I'd rather they be informed than not. But these romanticized texts of "fantasy!rape" and "fantasy!BDSM" need to be categorized as such. Twilight is definitely not. It's packaged as a loving, ideal relationship.

As someone who had been attracted to the idea of fantasy!rape early on as well as being a feminist, I had to really work through these things in my mind to try and understand where the attraction came from. And I had to work to draw that line in my mind that this would not be acceptable in "real life" but as a "fantasy" is fine. (Like I said, BDSM in it's true form is fine in real life b/c it follows certain rules and guidelines in its community that are not present in its fantasy/romanticized incarnations.)

But I do have to admit that the idea of someone writing erotica *marketed* toward teens makes me a little squeamish. If teens find erotica themselves and buy it full well understanding what it is, I'm fine with that. What I object to the use of it in Twilight b/c of how Twilight is packaged.

**Okay, to bed for real this time. Back later.

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Rami

at 05:52 on 2009-12-21

Idealized, not ideal. It's not a depiction of a relationship that would be healthy in real life; it's a relationship that only works in a fantasy world

Ah, I think I see where you're coming from. In which case my objection becomes the same as Melissa's: everywhere I've seen it being pushed, it's being pushed as an ideal -- something to aspire to, something that could happen, something that people should actively search for. I've actually spoken to adults who lauded it as a perfect relationship that they wished they could have found. And that's absurd, and simply reinforces already-unrealistic portrayals of what relationships should be.

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at 06:55 on 2009-12-21I have to go with the person said that all the anti-Twilight feeling based on the idea that the books are so damaging to young, impressionable women is bothersome. Dare I even say that that mentality - that girls need to be shielded in a way that boys never seem to need to be - is anti-feminist? Because it implies a quality of moral/mental character exists in men that is lacking in women. To use the James Bond to Sam Whittacker examples: Both are high-fantasy male characters (starring in badly written, plot-holed filled stories) that have the potential to influence little boys as badly as Bella is supposed to influence little girls. But very few people seem to think that teenage boys need to be told that while slapping women around worked for Sean Connery, it won't work for them/land them in jail. And Sam Whittacker, probably the most repulsive male wish-fulfillment character of the decade, doesn't come with a cautionary sign either. Don't let me touch Watchmen, or Harry Potter and the bad messages Rowling sends out to both boys *and* girls e.g. You "mature" when you fool around with a girl that likes you to get the attention of the one you do. Oops, I gues I did touch it after all.

What I'm trying to say in a rather long-winded way is that it's hard for me to be suddenly upset about Twilight's negative messages when, in my opinion, more damaging media works have been existence and will no doubt, continue to be in existence, with nary a comment. Neither can I help but wonder if the pro-feminist criticism is actually walking on some anti-feminist legs: Twilight is targeted because its female author wrote a female-viewpoint story for a female audience and has had the affrontery to, against all odds, be successful.

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Melissa G.

at 07:25 on 2009-12-21

But very few people seem to think that teenage boys need to be told that while slapping women around worked for Sean Connery, it won't work for them/land them in jail.

See, in my opinion, yes. Yes, this really does need to be told to young boys. But, the other thing is, that James Bond movies are not *targeted* nor *marketed* to young boys. Neither was Watchmen, which I hated. They are marketed toward adults, and are rated as such. If kids see them and get ideas in their heads they aren't mature enough to fully understand, I really do believe that someone needs to sit down and set them straight.

And, oh, god, yes, Harry Potter bothers me IMMENSELY. But I'm not talking about JKR here. I'm talking about Twilight and Meyer.

Twilight is targeted because its female author wrote a female-viewpoint story for a female audience and has had the affrontery to, against all odds, be successful.

The reason I take issue with her being a female writer is because I do feel like she should have more sense than to write what she does. The same way I think Rowling should have more sense than to write what she does about women. And, yes, men shouldn't do it either, and that's why we're far more likely to call them out on it when they do. But we seem to like to give women a pass for writing sexist material because "women can't possibly be sexist!" Which is completely untrue. And that's the only reason I mentioned her gender at all.

Twilight has a rather irresponsible, damaging message for everyone when it tries to call Bella/Edward an ideal relationship. And putting that aside, it's badly written and poorly conceived. It's just plain not a good book. And part of that has a lot to do with it saying it's doing one thing and unintentionally doing another - the very same thing we all take issue with Harry Potter for doing. So I don't understand why it's acceptable to attack Rowling and not Meyer.

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at 07:45 on 2009-12-21Rowling is an excelletn parallel though; there's plenty of Rowling criticism on this website calling it badly written, the characters awful and unappealing, and the moral message hrrifying. But I've never seen anyone, on this site or really anywhere, call Harry Potter "damaging" and suggest that it's dangerous for kids to read it.

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Melissa G.

at 08:01 on 2009-12-21If people took the morality lessons of Harry Potter and emulated them, I would call that "damaging" personally. And to bring back something Rami said above:

I've actually spoken to adults who lauded it as a perfect relationship that they wished they could have found.

This is what is damaging. This is an actual problem. If you can read Twilight and dismiss it as trashy romantic fun, I have no problem with that. It's the above behavior - wanting to emulate the Bella/Edward relationship and have it for yourself - that I find so disturbing.

I'm not saying people

shouldn't

read Twilight. I'm saying they should fully recognize and understand it as a fantasy of a relationship. If they don't, that's when it gets damaging.

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Arthur B

at 08:11 on 2009-12-21Like I allude to above with my second comment on the article (waaaaay, long ago), I think the reason that people bring up the "damaging" tag more often with Twilight than with HP is that the damage which could come from someone taking the lessons of Twilight to heart is very, very obvious. Women already get trapped in abusive relationships with controlling men far, far too often; we really don't need more media telling us that Abuse Is Love, Freedom Is Slavery, and Ignorance Is Strength.

That said, I do think Potter has messages which are equally damaging - I'm particularly concerned by the fact that it seems to say "If the voice of authority is ugly and telling you things you don't want to hear, it's evil, if it seems like a kindly old man who occasionally keeps things secret from you for your own good, it's OK". But I would argue that you need to look at Potter far more carefully to find the dubious messages than you do Twilight, where the troubling factor is the

very premise

of the story.

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at 09:08 on 2009-12-21I'm a little bit uncomfortable continuing this discussion. I got into it for the wrong reasons (emotional annoyance at reading *yet more Twilight bashing* coupled with a joy in nitpicking--did you know, for instance, that your assertion that vampires shouldn't be able to go out in the sun is contradicted by none other than the original Dracula?). I haven't read the book in question, which puts in the position of arguing about the book Ms. Whitfield suggested exists, not a book I know was actually written.

I also have every conceivable conflict of interest: I'm a barely-ex-teenage man with minor dominant fantasies in a relationship with a woman with submissive fantasies dating from her early childhood. My objectivity on this issue is probably thoroughly compromised.

I feel the need to lay that out there because what I have to say is somewhat confrontational: Your most recent comment, that you "have no problem" with reading twilight as trashy fun, and are only criticizing those who "laud it as a perfect relationship." I don't think that's an accurate summary of what you've posted.

It's true that's how you begin the OP, with an introduction I agree with absolutely. But the post seems to me to take a turn sideways here:

As an adult reading it as a guilty pleasure, you can indulge yourself in the James Dean-esque bad boy with a heart of gold thing and then let it go and return to reality. I don’t believe that most teenage and pre-teens girls have the emotional maturity that would allow them to do this.

In later comments, you added:

Oh, there's definitely some BD/fantasy rape aspects going on in there. A lot of romances fall into this TRAP (emphasis mine)

"I definitely think the attraction to the fantasy!rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views women's sexuality."

I'll agree with you as long as you strictly mean fantasy RAPE, but although you've used the terms interchangably (and I've followed suit), rape-play is not the whole of BDSM. I do believe that rape fantasy would go away in an egalitarian society; ritualized submission would not.

The Ms. Whitfield quote wasn't a scene in which Edward's fangs/dick were even an issue. It was about him managing her life, making her choices for her. This is, of course, the manifestation of thousands of years of patriarchal culture filtered through Myers' Mormon upbringing, and the author seems wrongheadedly to think that this is the natural order of things. But, it's also a compelling fantasy in its own right. I've had submissive fantasies in the past as well, and as someone who agonizes over small decisions and generally frets my life away, I'm prepared to claim that surrendering control is a fantasy whose appeal is not inherently rooted in sexism.

The problem I have with Twilight falling into this category of romance is that it's marketed toward teens rather than adults, and it pretend to have wholesome, positive messages toward sex...

"I do have to admit that the idea of someone writing erotica *marketed* toward teens makes me a little squeamish"

I'll try my hardest here not to put words in your mouth. I wrote and erased a few sentences of the form "it seems you have a problem with..." and then "I think the basic issues is that we don't see eye to eye on..." Let me just say that it is these statements that comments have raised my eyebrows and leave it at that. The following also caught my attention:

"As someone who *had been* (mine) attracted to the idea of fantasy!rape early on as well as being a feminist"

Do you mean to imply that you are no longer attracted to fantasy!rape? If so, how do you feel about this? Do you consider it a point of pride, or feel more mature for having outgrown it?

Finally, I wanted to comment on this:

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 09:11 on 2009-12-21Wow, somehow the end of my comment got click-dragged into the middle. I hate my touchpad. And need sleep. The discussion of this line: "I definitely think the attraction to the fantasy!rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views women's sexuality."

Was supposed to be the end of the post. The post continues from:

Oh, there's definitely some BD/fantasy rape aspects going on in there. A lot of romances fall into this TRAP (emphasis mine)

directly to

"The problem I have with Twilight falling into this category of romance is that it's marketed toward teens rather than adults, and it pretend to have wholesome, positive messages toward sex..."

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 09:45 on 2009-12-21Transformers, Watchmen (and the whole comic-book industry) and Harry Potter (Rowling was asked to use de-gendered initials so as not to frighten away the testosterone contingent) are targeted and marketed towards young boys. As for James Bond, some of the movies have been severely edited in the past (Goldeneye, License to Kill) to ensure that they do not exceed a PG-13 rating. So young boys may not be a primary target, but they're still part of the catchment market.

I'm not sure that the "women should have more sense" argument is one that empowers women in anyway. It's basically judging women on a different standard from men which is part of the inequality that feminism fights against. My argument isn't that Meyer isn't sexist by virtue of being a woman, or writing a woman's story. My argument is that I don't see this level of outrage directed at male-created & male-targeted stories. It is harmless-enough-to-ignore fantasy when it's men who are making it, but when it's made by a woman, it's suddenly dangerous and book-burning-worthy.

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Arthur B

at 10:10 on 2009-12-21@katsullivan:

It is harmless-enough-to-ignore fantasy when it's men who are making it, but when it's made by a woman, it's suddenly dangerous and book-burning-worthy.

Last time I'm going to repeat myself on this topic, I promise: all of the examples cited of stories aimed at young boys/men involve male protagonists who are quite specifically empowered in the texts concerned. (With the arguable exception of Harry Potter, but in that case he's going about doing precisely what an older wiser man wanted him to do.) The complaints about Twilight tend to centre on how much Bella is

dis

empowered. Given that we live in a society which empowers men to the hilt but isn't very good at empowering women, I think mildly different treatment of the subject matter is warranted.

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Arthur B

at 10:12 on 2009-12-21(Which isn't, of course, to say that the fantasies promoted for young men are beyond criticism on the basis that they empower men at the expense of women. They absolutely should be criticised on that basis. But that's a different criticism from saying "this story encourages people to surrender what empowerment they have.")

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 12:12 on 2009-12-21I've always seen how much or how little Bella is empowered as a subjective thing because the anti-Bella arguments that populate the Net have run the spectrum of her agency in the story, from complaining about it being too much to being too little.

What I have noticed is the common denominator is the bad example Bella and Twilight gives to women. Regardless of how empowered Bond, Potter or Whittacker are, they aren't giving good examples to men, either.

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Arthur B

at 12:18 on 2009-12-21Do you have a link to any of these arguments that say Bella is overempowered? I'd be interested to see them, most of the criticism I've seen takes the opposite view.

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Wardog

at 12:25 on 2009-12-21Ye Gods, I go to bed for one night and this happens.

First of all:

@Arthur

Firstly, James Bond is fairly blatantly a sexual masochist - I don't know how that fits into the idea of empowering role models for men. Not that I'm not saying sexual masochists can't be empowering or role models, it's just a bit off the beaten path (lol) for aspirational literature.

Secondly, is there any problem, inherently, with what might be considered "non empowering fantasies "for women? I mean, there's definitely a distinction between "you should be like this" and sheer fantasy-space, which is how most people see Twilight.

@Orionsnebula

Thanks for all your coments by the way, all very interesting, especially the link to Ms Whitfield. I tend to roll my eyes at Twilight but I'm not necessarily as incensed about it as Melissa - I actually enjoyed the first book, and thought it was a fun fantasy, but then I got rather squicked by the later books when I realised the problems associated with Meyer's profound lack of self-awareness. The thing is, as you yourself, acknowledge (and I'm sorry I lost the direct quote in all the text), although Whitfield's reading is compelling, it is not actually *directly* supported by the text, it's something you can read out of it in an effort to make it more interesting / acceptable. A bit like The Taming of the Shrew - you can read that as a consensual BDSM relationship between two difficult adults who have finally met their match (and I saw a version of it that *really* played this up - lots of pretty explicit hints to show they both knew entirely what they were up to, and having lots of fun with it) OR you can read it offensive, patriarchal, misogynist propaganda.

I don't have any problems with the idea that Bella/Edward ARE in a BDSM relationship, I just think that you've got a problem if they're UNCONSCIOUSLY involved in one, and the author has no idea what she's doing.

Again, I have no problem with teenagers confronting these issues per se but I don't think via Twilight is the route.

And the fact that Bella is as wet as an October afternoon (metaphorically I mean) further compromises the BDSM reading - I don't have much insight into the submissive mindset myself but I think most people would agree that submissive women are strong, capable and independent who *choose* to submit. Bella seems genuinely incapable of staying alive most of the time - there'd be very pleasure little in the submission of someone so blatantly rubbish :) Sorry, that's a slightly frivolous point but ultimately reading Bella as a submissive does no kindness to submissives.

And finally: @Melissa et al

The romance/rape device. Come on folks, get your heads out of the 70s. This is a *MUCH LESS COMMON* device than people seem to realise. In fact, I can't remember the last time I encountered it in a modern romance (oh, wait I can, it's Claiming the Courtesan) - if there is an element of sexual submission, texts are at a much greater liberty to address it directly, rather cloaking it behind a facade of rape fantasy. Again, you can still find rape fantasies if you're looking for them (see CtC above) but, again, they tend to be served up with self-knowledge, self-awareness and in much more "healthy" fantasy contexts. The problem with the "rape" fantasy is that it often attempted to address in an underhand way a lot of seemingly less acceptable fantasies - the idea that a man was so into he couldn't stop him, sexual submission, abdication of responsibilities to pleasure etc. etc. It's not a fantasy about rape per se, it's a fantasy about other things connected to the idea of being raped. Nowadays these ideas can be directly addressed and explored so the 'need' for the hero to rape the heroine has diminished.

I most assuredly don't believe that fantasy rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views female sexuality. I don't think you give women enough credit for their fantasies, and I do, in fact, believe it can be perfectly healthy fantasy.

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Arthur B

at 12:34 on 2009-12-21

Secondly, is there any problem, inherently, with what might be considered "non empowering fantasies "for women? I mean, there's definitely a distinction between "you should be like this" and sheer fantasy-space, which is how most people see Twilight.

I think the main thrust of Melissa's argument is that there are a disturbing number of people who really do see Twilight as an ideal for living, though.

There is, of course, absolutely no problem with fantasy-space taken as fantasy space. And there will always, of course, be a certain proportion of an audience that takes a fantasy outside fantasy-space, but that's their problem, not the author's. I suppose the real question is whether the proportion of Twilight's readers to take the ideas out of fantasy-space and decide that Bella is someone they should try to be is more or less the proportion you'd expect, or whether it's disproportionately large. This is not a question which anecdotal evidence can really answer, and until we set up the Ferret Statistics Bureau is probably not something we're likely to sort out here...

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Melissa G.

at 12:39 on 2009-12-21@orions

I stated many times that I have no problem with BDSM in its true form. It follows specific rules and guidelines that make it safe and enjoyable for those involved. Do I partake in it personally? No, I don't. But I have no problem with those who do.

The issue I was addressing - and I should have made it more clear - is the romanticized versions of BDSM and rape that you see in romance novels all the time. Because I think there is a big difference between not only real BDSM and fantasy!BDSM but also between fantasy!BDSM and fantasy!rape.

And I did purposely clarify that I wasn't trying to say that those who practice BDSM in real life are somehow sexist or anti-feminist - I was referring specifically to where the attraction to fantasy!rape comes from. And also there's nothing wrong with being attracted to fantasy!rape material.

And yes, I still read manga that reeks of fantasy!rape. But the fantasy!rape phenomena to me is completely different from rape-play, etc in real life because in the story these are not people who are consciously taking part in said behavior. It's just plain "actual rape" in which the person being violated actually doesn't mind so much. Fantasy!rape is just that. A fantasy. And it should never be confused with reality or - in my opinion - rape play between two consenting partners. Because while I enjoy reading about it, I certainly have no intentions or desire to act it out in real life.

Re: Dracula, it's been a while since I read it, but I'm pretty sure the vampires could not go out during the day, which is what I specified was a criteria.

I'm honestly willing to just agree to disagree with you at this point if you'd be more comfortable putting the conversation to bed.

My argument is that I don't see this level of outrage directed at male-created & male-targeted stories.

You don't? Because I certainly have. On this very site, for example. I feel we're far more likely to call men out on sexist behavior than we are women, and that *is* holding them to a different standard. Maybe I shouldn't have specified her gender; maybe I should have just said that the book was sexist and leave it at that. Because whether or not the writer was male or female, the book has some out-dated views about sex and sexuality. I'd be just as angry about this if it had been written by a male.

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Melissa G.

at 12:46 on 2009-12-21

This is a *MUCH LESS COMMON* device than people seem to realise.

The thing, Kyra, I read a lot of Boys Love manga, and it's all over the place in that. To the point where it starts to get disturbing. But I do admit that it's more common the more old-fashioned romance novels, and I'll take your word for it as I assume you read more romance than I do.

It's not a fantasy about rape per se, it's a fantasy about other things connected to the idea of being raped.

And yes, I totally agree with this.

I most assuredly don't believe that fantasy rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views female sexuality. I don't think you give women enough credit for their fantasies, and I do, in fact, believe it can be perfectly healthy fantasy.

I think it can be a healthy fantasy too. And as I said, I was merely trying to figure out where the attraction comes from. I'm not trying to submit that idea as fact.

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Melissa G.

at 13:03 on 2009-12-21I just want to clarify that I have no problem with anyone's personal fantasies or kinks. There's nothing unhealthy about having them. And if I insinuated to anyone that they should be ashamed or embarrassed about their fantasies, I do sincerely apologize.

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Wardog

at 13:12 on 2009-12-21I'm pretty sure nobody is genuinely annoyed - and equally pretty sure you weren't disparaging anybody's sexual preferences. I read through this when I woke up this morning and it seemed like lively discussion. Honestly, after the Graceling fiasco we're all way too nervy about stepping on each other's toes :)

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Melissa G.

at 14:28 on 2009-12-21I also realize that I wasn't being entirely clear when I said:

I definitely think the attraction to the fantasy!rape is embedded in the negative ways society treats/views women's sexuality.

I don't mean that having that fantasy or enjoying that fantasy makes you inherently sexist. I was trying to come at it from an extremely analytical point of view and how it works on a subconscious level. I think the attraction arises more out of a "coping mechanism" to the Madonna/Whore complex women have to live with every day and not that women who have these fantasies are in some way sexist. That wasn't at all what I meant to imply. I hope that makes it clearer what I was going for there and that I didn't just dig myself in deeper.

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Sister Magpie

at 15:41 on 2009-12-21Regarding Bella being over-empowered, I wonder if the point isn't that she's over-special? Doesn't she gain superspecial vampire powers, and two of them instead of one, and have no trouble controlling them right off? I would assume that's what people are referring to--but within the text she presumably remains as passive as ever in terms of her life.

I have a friend who was recently questioning the hatred of Twilight in terms of asking: How come when something is known as being loved by teenaged boys it's generally considered cool, but if it's known as loved by teenaged girls it's lame lame lame? I couldn't help but think of this here with the discussion of how there's less concern that boys be sheilded from something like HP--especially since I can understand the double standard in a way.

But part of it, for me, is maybe that I do feel a little embarassed when this kind of teen girl fantasy gets so popular. At least one conservative politician jumped on it as proof that despite what those unnatural feminists say this just proves that what girls really want is a man to obsess over their beauty and protect them while they are passively loved.

Which is maybe part of the danger. Not only do embarassing male adolescent fantasies tend to tread more into the danger zone of disrespecting other people while the female version comes close to disrespecting yourself, but girl fantasies--no matter if they are just a healthy part of their exploration of their own sexuality--is more likely to be manipulated to serve men. If we imagine a man and a woman both hopelessly stuck in immature fantasies the woman tends to risk ending up in a worse position.

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Arthur B

at 15:58 on 2009-12-21

Not only do embarassing male adolescent fantasies tend to tread more into the danger zone of disrespecting other people while the female version comes close to disrespecting yourself, but girl fantasies--no matter if they are just a healthy part of their exploration of their own sexuality--is more likely to be manipulated to serve men. If we imagine a man and a woman both hopelessly stuck in immature fantasies the woman tends to risk ending up in a worse position.

Thank you! This is a much better statement of the position I was trying to put forward. The man might disrespect other people, but he won't take any shit; it might be bad, in the sense that he's being horrible to people, but it won't be personally damaging to him, just the people he hurts as he cuts a swathe through life.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 18:56 on 2009-12-21Melissa,

I appreciate all the disclaimers, I really do; I'm not accusing you of having your heart in the wrong place or wishing ill on anyone in the kink community.

I *think* we have a basic disagreement about childhood and adolescence, and the role sex, litereature, or sex literature plays in them.

I don't understand, for instance, why you would consider teen-targeted erotica, for instance, to be a squick; I think if written by someone other than Stephanie Myers it has the possibility to do a lot of good.

I can't point to a specific proposal you make about childrearing that I would object to--talking with kids about problematic movies, saying they should be free to explore their sexuality, and so on are all things I want to hear. But, probably because this started as a critique of a book, not a manifesto for youth education, I don't feel I have a coherent picture of how you think kids should interact with books. To be honest, what you've said still seems to me to be contradictory.

For example, you've said that teenagers should be free to explore sexuality through literature, but that writing erotica specifically for teenagers squicks you; to me, those positions aren't fully compatible. I don't know how it can be wrong to sell someone something it's okay for them to buy; for every market of readers there's a genre produced to meet their expectations. And honestly, I think a conscientious YA-targeted erotica writer could produce stuff that was better for kids than adult-targeted erotica which would naturally be about a different set of concerns.

Basically there's nothing more I can say at this point; some of your comments seem to have implications that trouble me, but I can't articulate the problem without putting words in your mouth. And it's difficult to get at the distinction I'm seeing between our stances on what's appropriate for teenagers without lapsing into scoring points by calling someone a prude.

In conclusion, I think I've said all I have to say about Twilight. I think there's room for an interesting conversation to be had about children and fiction in general, but that wasn't what the article was about. If you should choose at some point to explain in detail how you think children should approach fiction and what you think is acceptable to market to them, I'd read it with great interest.

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http://baihehua.livejournal.com/

at 18:56 on 2009-12-21Wow; long and meandering discussion.

I don't see anyone stating here that Twilight is a wonderful work of literature. There seems to be a consensus that Bella and Edward's relationship is not healthy. (If you want to view it as a BDSM relationship, I think that's fine, and there is certainly nothing wrong with BDSM in real life- with safewords and such-, but Bella and Edward's relationship as presented in the book does not seem healthy.)

I think one of the main problems (if not THE main problem) is the fact that this story is targeted to children- specifically prepubescent and pubescent girls. Girls are already being bombarded with social pressures to be meek, submissive, "feminine", etc; Meyer's work is certainly far from unique in this respect*. But Twilight is new, extremely popular, and sends this type of disempowering message in a very clear way. (This message, of course, is that it is perfectly acceptable for girls to wait for a man to protect them and make decisions for them.) Girls do not need any more messages to be docile little doormats, especially not from such popular sources.

The thing that I think most separates adult audiences from teen and preteen ones is that teens and children are still developing their opinions and beliefs about the world and themselves (discussed in many developmental analysis books). Whereas an adult can look at a character like Edward and think "he's hot/cute/sexy/such a bad boy, but I wouldn't want a boyfriend like him in real life", children and even many teens have a lot more trouble with that (not necessarily that they can't, but it's certainly harder). What the adult is doing there is interjecting his/her own outside beliefs ("I don't want a boyfriend like that"/"it's not okay for someone to act like that in real life") onto their understanding of this story. And that's great. But since children and many teens are still developing their beliefs, it is incredibly difficult for them to take still-forming opinions and contradict what the text seems to be saying. Twilight (or other materials) is much more likely to help *form* teens' beliefs about the world than it is to form adults'.

And that, I think, is the real problem. No one (that I know of, anyway) wants teens or children to emulate Bella's behavior (or Edward's, for that matter). But since teens and preteens are still developing their views of the world and themselves, they are much more likely to emulate or idolize these behaviors than adult readers would be.

As a result, I think authors of materials aimed at younger audiences need to be especially careful of negative messages their works may advocate. I'm sure most of these messages are completely unintentional, but authors (as responsible people) should try to be as aware as possible of what their material may be saying.

*I realize that these social messages are not as strong as they used to be, but they (like so many negative elements of society) are far from gone.

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Melissa G.

at 19:08 on 2009-12-21

I don't understand, for instance, why you would consider teen-targeted erotica, for instance, to be a squick;

Maybe we're defining erotica differently? In my mind erotica = a book written for the specific purpose of titillating and sexually arousing it's audience with sexually provocative scenes. Such as the book in Kyra's

latest review

. I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex scenes in teen books; if well written, they could be very beneficial. What bothers me is the idea of an adult writing a book whose *sole intent* is to try and sexually arouse teenagers. To me, that's squicky. It just is; I can't help it.

I think there's room for an interesting conversation to be had about children and fiction in general, but that wasn't what the article was about.

Yes, precisely. So while I am of course happy to discuss psychological/sociological issues with anyone, this really isn't the place for it. So I'd agree it's best to put the convo to rest.

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Arthur B

at 19:17 on 2009-12-21

I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex scenes in teen books; if well written, they could be very beneficial. What bothers me is the idea of an adult writing a book whose *sole intent* is to try and sexually arouse teenagers. To me, that's squicky. It just is; I can't help it.

I can see that. Adults writing books addressed to other adults with the intent of titillating or arousing them, and teenagers happening to chance across those books and enjoying them is one thing. Adults attempting to engage with the sexuality of teenagers on the level of titillation or arousal? Uh, not keen.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 19:32 on 2009-12-21Arthur,

I couldn't agree less. Teenage sexuality is different from adult sexuality. Many can and will get something out of adult erotica, but teenagers as a group have different concerns and will find slightly different things appealing.

The most interesting part of Ms. Whitfield's article was the idea that Twilight and Flowers in the Attic embody a specifically *virginal* sexuality and that part of the challenge of writing sex scenes for kids is that many of them aren't familiar with the sensations of genital sex. The bruises and strained muscles and so on that Bella incurs when they do get down to banging, for instance, add a sensory dimension that kids will be familiar with.

So I do think that erotica for teenagers should be different from erotica for adults; plenty of teenagers seems to agree, choosing to participate in "lemon" fanfic communities rather than read mainstream erotica. But teen-for-teen erotica writers just produce an echo chamber where sexual ignorance and prejudices are amplified. And writing well is a skill developed over *years*.

Very few teenagers, in my opinion, are capable of producing honest, readable teen-targeted erotica; that's something that has to be left to adults with the perspective of age.

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Andy G

at 19:39 on 2009-12-21@ Arthur and Orionsnebula: I kind of agree with Orionsnebula here, I think in principle it's not really that different from the way the adult writers of something like Skins are tapping into teen fantasies. Adults writing erotica for teens is not in the same category as adults making sexual advances to teens, if that was an aspect you weren't keen on (though I may be putting words into your mouth there), any more than adults writing erotica for adults are doing so to their readers.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 19:46 on 2009-12-21My name is Orion, by the way; My (defunct) blog was a joke on my name

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Arthur B

at 19:55 on 2009-12-21

Adults writing erotica for teens is not in the same category as adults making sexual advances to teens, if that was an aspect you weren't keen on (though I may be putting words into your mouth there), any more than adults writing erotica for adults are doing so to their readers.

You see, to me there's a difference between fiction with a heavily sexualised element which may titillate but doesn't have titillation as its main purpose (such as Skins, to use your example) and erotica, wherein sexual titillation is pretty much the entire purpose of the proceedings and any additional meaning is pretty much secondary.

I have never seen an example of an adult writing the latter for teenagers; I think it's the sort of thing that teenagers are better off exploring with other teenagers (such as on the lemon fic communities Orionsnebula refers to). I am unsure whether you could successfully pull it off without coming off as deeply creepy. I would love to hear about any counter-examples.

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Arthur B

at 19:59 on 2009-12-21(Though I want to stress that I don't think that intelligent, meaningful erotica is impossible - just that I would only classify as "erotica" fiction where the main purpose is titillation. Additional meaning can, and doubtless does, arise as an adjunct to this, but if the main purpose of the story isn't the arousal of the reader, what's the difference between erotica and normal fiction which includes sex scenes?)

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Robinson L

at 20:30 on 2009-12-21All right! I've been looking forward to this. Ptolemaues has been ranting about this series for over two years, and though I've never read any of it myself, I've picked up quite a lot second-hand from her and her fellow haters; and all this matches up pretty well with what I've gathered elsewhere.

She also

made a start

on

New Moon

, but she hasn't looked at it in months. (Unfortunate, as I enjoy her rants tremendously, but on the other hand I guess exposing herself to that stuff must be toxic to her health.) She also takes issue with Bella's treatment of Jessica, among other things.

[Bella} seems to have a bad enough relationship with her father that she calls him by his first name

Not sure about this; two of ptolemaeus' best friends call their fathers by their first names, and I don't think it's indicative of a bad relationship in either case. Then again, I presume Meyer never bothers to explain why Bella calls her father by his first name.

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http://ninjacatman.livejournal.com/

at 20:36 on 2009-12-21

[Bella} seems to have a bad enough relationship with her father that she calls him by his first name

From what I remember about the book (it's been a while) the way this is introduced it is meant to imply that Bella doesn't have a close relationship with her father.

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Melissa G.

at 20:51 on 2009-12-21

Not sure about this; two of ptolemaeus' best friends call their fathers by their first names, and I don't think it's indicative of a bad relationship in either case.

I feel like there was something in the book that hinted at this, but I don't have it in front of me to find out for sure. I remember distinctly being given the impression that she didn't get along with her father, and she does state that he doesn't like her calling him "Charlie". She says she can't do it in front of him. That to me is different from a consensual attitude toward it.

You see, to me there's a difference between fiction with a heavily sexualised element which may titillate but doesn't have titillation as its main purpose (such as Skins, to use your example) and erotica, wherein sexual titillation is pretty much the entire purpose of the proceedings and any additional meaning is pretty much secondary.

This was pretty much what I was getting at. The goal of erotica is not to "inform" (for lack of a better word), it's meant to "arouse". I think a teen fiction book that deals heavily with teenage sexuality as a theme and thus has a lot of sex scenes (which teens may or may not find titillating) is one thing and writing erotica for teens is another. The former is an exploratory look at sex between teens paying careful attention to what it's doing.

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Melissa G.

at 21:03 on 2009-12-21@Robinson L.:

Thanks for the link to your sister's lj entry! I got a kick out of that!

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Andy G

at 00:41 on 2009-12-22

I have never seen an example of an adult writing the latter for teenagers; I think it's the sort of thing that teenagers are better off exploring with other teenagers (such as on the lemon fic communities Orionsnebula refers to). I am unsure whether you could successfully pull it off without coming off as deeply creepy. I would love to hear about any counter-examples.

I know nothing about erotic fiction, my response was more to try and tease out if "creepiness" was the problem you were getting at, as I think it is an interesting question whether it would necessarily be an issue. Not an interesting question to which I have an answer however.

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Arthur B

at 01:35 on 2009-12-22Yes; I'm not satisfied that the best problem I can come up with in terms of adults writing out-and-out erotica for teens is "creepiness" - it's a bit Daily Mail isn't it? - which is why I would genuinely welcome anyone pointing out genuine examples of adults trying to write fiction which is primarily intended to arouse teenagers through the portrayal of sexual situations so we can have some data points.

I mean, you could make an argument for Twilight. But there's two issues there: firstly, Twilight is terrified of sex, to the extent that it is symbolised in the stories by sacrifice, bleeding, and undeath, which is pretty fatal for erotica (which requires a certain amount of sexual hoopla to really qualify as erotica in the first plaxce), but works far better for romance (the pursuit of innocence, the deflowering a culmination of the relationship developed throughout the story, etc.), which is a pretty big indication that Twilight falls on the "romance" side of the border. And also, Twilight creeps me the hell out, so it's not likely to change my mind on the erotica-for-teens concept. ;)

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 02:16 on 2009-12-22I don't actually read much erotica, so i can't think of any targeted to teenagers. I have to admit, I just always assumed it must exist.

The closest I come is fantasy writers like Melanie Rawn and Mercedes Lackey. None of her books are *strictly* about sex, but in several of the YA books (cough*ArrowsFlight*cough) the sex gets a huge chunk of the page count and is substantially more interesting than the main plot.

But if you'll gant the following premises:

1: It's okay for teens to read erotica

2: any two demographic groups will have different tastes as a matter of statistics

and

3: good writers are generally adults

it seems to follow that among the erotic stories it is possible to write, some will appeal more to teens, other to adults, and that the best of those stories will probably be written by adults, not children.

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Robinson L

at 03:00 on 2009-12-22

Thanks for the link to your sister's lj entry! I got a kick out of that!

Glad to hear it! Thought you might!

If you really liked it, I'm sure she'd appreciate comments. (Which you should be able to do anonymously if you don't already have an account.)

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Melissa G.

at 03:18 on 2009-12-22

If you really liked it, I'm sure she'd appreciate comments.

I was going to, but when I realized how long ago the entry was from, I thought it'd be weird so I didn't. ^_^;

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http://ninjacatman.livejournal.com/

at 03:43 on 2009-12-22

The closest I come is fantasy writers like Melanie Rawn and Mercedes Lackey. None of her books are *strictly* about sex, but in several of the YA books (cough*ArrowsFlight*cough) the sex gets a huge chunk of the page count and is substantially more interesting than the main plot.

But see that means it's not erotica, even if there is a lot of sex it's not just about the sex (whether the main plot is more interesting or not). Even trashy Harlequinn romances aren't erotica, they're trashy romances which have a lot of sex in them but are technically about the relationship with sex as a bonus. Erotica is the other way around.

One of the problems I think Melissa and Arthur and even me are having is when we think of erotica we think of the erotica we have come across which is written by adults with a distinctly adult view of sex. I can't think of erotica that has been written for teens with a distinctly teenage mindset. But that I'm thinking about, it doesn't like a bad idea, to write books about having sex from an actual teenage point of view.

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http://ninjacatman.livejournal.com/

at 03:44 on 2009-12-22***But now that I'm thinking about, it doesn't seem like a bad idea, to write books about having sex from an actual teenage point of view.***

because sometimes I skip important words when i type.

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Robinson L

at 15:30 on 2009-12-22

If you really liked it, I'm sure she'd appreciate comments. I was going to, but when I realized how long ago the entry was from, I thought it'd be weird so I didn't. ^_^;

Yeah, I know the feeling. Still, even if it is extremely belated, I think she'd appreciate feedback from someone who isn't a member of her family. Besides, she's probably either reading this already or will be soon enough, so it's not as if it would be out-of-the-blue.

Still up to you, of course. *shrugs*

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http://mary-j-59.livejournal.com/

at 16:04 on 2009-12-22I don't really have a lot to say here. I did read the series, and pretty much enjoyed the first three books, though they are certainly not great literature and I ended up raising my eyebrows in certain places. But I enjoyed this even more:

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

Seriously, Sparkledammerung will tell you all you ever need to know about what "Twilight" is *really* about - and it's a hoot, besides.

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Melissa G.

at 16:32 on 2009-12-22@Mary J

Thanks for the link! I knew there was a Mormon influence in the book but I don't know enough about the religion to feel able to discuss it myself. So this was really interesting for me to read! I liked her picture inclusions too. ^^

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Arthur B

at 16:47 on 2009-12-22A note: this year we've had:

- This article.

- My review of

Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines

.

- Dan's article about

the philosophy of identity

, which included notes on the metaphysical underpinnings of vampirism in the

Buffy

setting.

- My review of

Let the Right One In

.

- And Kyra's first article of the year was another

Twilight article

.

Have we just accidentally had our very own Year of the Vampire? Is it time for a vampire theme? (Or perhaps an expansion of the zombies theme to include undeath in general?) Should we put a moratorium on further Twilight articles so that it never, ever, ever qualifies for a theme?

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Sister Magpie

at 18:52 on 2009-12-22What, no True Blood?

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Arthur B

at 19:01 on 2009-12-22The search feature's showing some mention in the PlayPen, but no articles. I don't remember wrong, but I might just be being forgetful...

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Shim

at 19:42 on 2009-12-22Wow, I'm late... I have also not read this book. Oh well... I feel like for this discussion, the "boys' trash" (basically) mentioned is a bit different from

Twilight

, whatever you think about quality or empowerment. It's about the type of characters these people are supposed to be.

James Bond, Rambo, Conan... they are basically military types with very unusual lives, and the books/films are about the way they defeat obstacles and kick ass. Boys certainly tend to think what they do is cool, but they're so far removed from typical lives that there's not much direct parallel in terms of how to behave. Of course, they all glamorise violence and relentless enmity as ways to deal with problems. One might argue that the contexts are all military ones and a bit different to everyday problems, which might reduce the effect, but I think it's there. I'd say the typical influence is to make boys want to be strong, hardy, resolute, and maybe suave. On the whole, I think there won't be many situations where boys could think "oh, this is just like what happened to Conan" and approach or interpret situations in a similar way.

Twilight

is all about vampires and magic, but the heroine is supposedly fairly ordinary, and designed for girls to empathise with. She does normal stuff. Relationships with people are the core of the book, from what I gather (like, it being a romance). That being the case, stripped-down versions of some situations in the book could happen to real girls - getting followed around, having their boundaries pushed by boys, having the pace of relationships controlled by boys, and... whatever else happens in the book I haven't read. So it's

perhaps

more likely that the portrayal of Bella and the relationship, which is supposedly ideal, will influence girls' approach to similar situations in their own lives.

To some extent I might also say that James Bond, Rambo et al. aren't really held up as role models. Few people (some, but few) would say James Bond is a model for relationships with others - he doesn't seem to have friends, is egotistical, throws himself into danger unnecessarily, is incredibly cynical... And while his string of girls might appeal at first, boys don't only want sex. But also, these heroes only show the characteristics they do because of their extraordinary lives. If Conan settled down as a shepherd somewhere and found a girlfriend, I've no idea what he'd be like, because you don't usually find out much about their real selves, only the traits relevant to adventures. Bond would probably be that self-important git in the office who seems to have a new girlfriend every week and a whole string of enemies at work and outside.

Sorry, that rambles a bit but I hope it makes sense.

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Robinson L

at 20:02 on 2009-12-22

What, no True Blood?

Not yet. Once I've read

Dead to the World

I intend to begin work on a review of the book series (which, at my speed, should be ready sometime in March), but I've yet to see even one episode of the tv show, and I haven't seen anybody else tackle it here yet.

I agree with Arthur's suggestion of including a theme handle which includes "Vampires." I'd personally favor a new handle, given the large backlog of articles in our archives, it seems to me more differentiation among them would be all to the good.

Oh, and Melissa, congratulations on getting into the top five most-discussed articles.

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Melissa G.

at 20:20 on 2009-12-22

What, no True Blood?

I've seen the show, and while I didn't *love* it, I didn't hate it either. I'm basically too indifferent to invest my time in an article personally. :-) But I'm looking forward to reading a review of the book series if it appears here on FB. I'm curious how it will compare to the show.

Oh, and Melissa, congratulations on getting into the top five most-discussed articles.

Thanks! I'm very excited about that! ^_^

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Sister Magpie

at 20:30 on 2009-12-22Heh--I'm not really missing the True Blood articles. It just seemed like it went with the theme. I've never read the books, but like the TV series. I started out thinking it was just too silly for words, but was somehow looking forward to it every week so I have to admit I'm a fan.

On the subject of vampires that aren't vampires, I really wanted to agree with this article, actually. Of course anybody can take out certain details and still have the character be a vampire (even something so big as "can go out in the sun") but the problem with so many modern vampire stories is they so often want to have the cool parts without any of the sacrifice that's supposed to make it horrible. This goes double if the person isn't even particularly doing anything wrong.

I always remember someone--I think it was Cassie Claire, actually, criticizing Moonlight for that reason and saying that if you wanted a vampire story you'd be better off watching Dexter, since he's pretty much a vampire despite not actually being a vampire. Just because he's a monster who preys on humans while looking like one of them, and he has a hunger for blood he can't deny.

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Arthur B

at 20:48 on 2009-12-22I think also there's an certain extent to which, if you want to tap into the old vampire myths, you have to include at least a tiny amount of the trappings which go with them, if only on an allegorical level (as with Dexter), otherwise you're trying to freeride on the reputation of vampires without really developing a proper connection to the myth.

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Shim

at 21:13 on 2009-12-22Well, vampires nowadays tend to ignore the inconvenient mythological basis of being, y'know,

actually, genuinely dead

. And depending on your myth of choice, repulsive. And not necessarily having human motivations any more. Obviously it all depends a bit where you decide your vampires are "rooted" - the folk versions (from my reading a long time ago) seemed a lot more monstrous undead horror, without the personality of Dracula or whoever.

I note that they don't seem to turn ordinary people into corrupted semi-human serfs any more, either. Now that might be an interesting twist for Twilight's take on relationships...

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Melissa G.

at 21:49 on 2009-12-22

I have to admit I'm a fan

I also find True Blood very addictive. ^^ Even though Bill is a bit of a "pussy-vampire", we also get Eric who is an old-school sadistic freak vampire, which makes me really happy. I loved when he got blood in his hair and had to cut it!

And depending on your myth of choice, repulsive.

I think Anne Rice had a lot to do with making vampires hot. :-)

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Andy G

at 22:04 on 2009-12-22On the year of the Vampire front, did anyone see Thirst? I thought that was great. And definitely didn't cut back on the nastier side of the vampire myth.

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Sister Magpie

at 01:17 on 2009-12-23Thirst, the Australian film from years ago?

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Andy G

at 02:08 on 2009-12-23No, the Korean film from this year by Chan-woon Park.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762073/

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Sister Magpie

at 02:40 on 2009-12-23I haven't seen it. I must remember to check it out--if it's good. Is it good?

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Melissa G.

at 02:49 on 2009-12-23

I must remember to check it out--if it's good.

Ditto! It sounds really intriguing. And I've heard good things about Korean horror in general (assuming it falls into that category).

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Andy G

at 10:32 on 2009-12-23Personally I loved it. There are some awesome trailers for it around too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODoagpV68gA

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 18:04 on 2009-12-23Again, I'd blame Bram Stoker for this stuff before I'd blame Anne Rice.

We don't know the story with titular lead, but Dracula-vampires explicitly don't have to be "already dead". At least, Mina Harker gets to turn halfway and get vampire powers while she's still alive.

Furthermore, Dracula can and does go out during the day, not once but twice. First Jonathan runs into him in the streets of London, then when they attack him in his coffin during the day, he escapes and runs out into the streets. While in the sun, he can't use any of his magic powers, but suffers no harm.

Honestly, Bram Stoker decided that vampires were going to be about sex--which worked as horror in Victorian England. But as our culture gets a little more honest and open about sexuality, sex-vampires become less scary and more tittilating.

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Melissa G.

at 19:38 on 2009-12-23

Again, I'd blame Bram Stoker for this stuff before I'd blame Anne Rice.

I certainly wouldn't. Bram Stoker's Dracula (and I'm speaking specifically to the book not any of the movies based on it) is not supposed to be sexy. His physical description (what little there is of it) is not overly flattering. We're not meant to think that Mina is drawn to him because she is physically attracted to him; she isn't. She's drawn to his animal sexual magnetism, or through his powers of mind control.

In Dracula, the sun isn't fatal to the Count, but it does render him powerless. This forces him to adjust his daily life to sleeping during the day (in his coffin filled with dirt) and going out at night when he is powerful. The important thing is that "the sun is a curse to vampires". While it doesn't necessarily have to kill them (Supernatural is a good example of when it worked for me that the sun wasn't fatal), it should be detrimental to them in some way. Causing them to sparkle really isn't a detriment in any way, shape, or form. And that's the problem with the Twilight vampires.

And Mina certainly doesn't gain vampire powers in the book, nor does Lucy. They just waste away in illness as they lose more and more blood. Dracula does give Mina his blood to turn her, but she won't become a vampire until her death when she rises up out of her coffin as Lucy tried to do. Towards the end, she starts to have a sort of psychic connection to Dracula himself, but I wouldn't call that "vampire powers". Dracula has linked himself to her through his blood and she is using that link against him.

The thing to remember about the difference between Anne Rice's work and Bram Stoker's is that Stoker's was condemning sex. Don't give in to your dark sexual urges, it will make you a monster. It's true that nowadays, this message seems more titillating in nature than scary, but that's hardly Stoker's fault.

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Jamie Johnston

at 16:15 on 2009-12-29Hello folks! Been away. Interesting article & discussion. I confess I've slightly skimmed the discussion so forgive me if I say things that have already been mentioned.

The part of the discussion about sex made me think of one of the things that I've found difficult to untangle in my head about the

Twilight

books. At first I thought Meyer's approach to the 'vampirism as metaphor for sex' thing was interesting and quite clever. As Orion has pointed out a couple of comments above this one, having that metaphor made sense in Stoker's time [disclaimer: haven't actually read

Dracula

, except an abridged & simplified children's version when I was under 10] as a way of (first of all) representing sex in fiction at all and (secondly) representing sex as something both attractive and dangerous. Now that sex isn't, by and large, seen as dangerous, the modern vampire story has to find a social setting in which it still makes sense to address sex as something that's dangerous as well as appealing. One option is to use it to address rape-fantasies through 'vampirism as metaphor for non-consensual-or-is-it? sex', but another is Meyer's social setting of teenage sex, which has elements of dangerousness in that it may attract parental and social disapproval, it may be new and unknown, and it may bring the real (because of ignorance or nonchalance on the teenagers' part about safe sex) or imagined (because of ignorance about the biology of conception and transmission of disease) threat of pregnancy and / or STDs. For a lot of young teenagers, especially ones from small and conservative communities and especially for girls, sex must in some ways be quite a scary prospect. I'm sure Meyer isn't by any means the first artist to see and exploit the potential for vampire stories as metaphors for all this, but

Twilight

was the first place I'd encountered it.

What I find hard to get my head around, though, is that she also, especially after the first book, brings sex very much into the story on a non-metaphorical level. Sometimes the metaphor and the literal story are saying the same thing about sex and sometimes they say different things, so it becomes a little confusing. For example, Edward refuses to 'have sex with' (i.e. bite) Bella because it would be selfish and would deprive her of her carefree innocence and would imperil her soul; yet he refuses to (literally) have sex with her for simply because it would be physically dangerous and probably kill her. Both lines of reasoning are disempowering for Bella and both are based on the Nice Guy premise that Bella probably wouldn't really enjoy it; but the metaphorical reasons are moral ones and the literal ones are entirely practical. Is Meyer telling us that teenagers shouldn't have sex because it's metaphorically but not actually wrong and also because it's literally but not metaphorically dangerous?

And then it's further confused by an extra layer of metaphor, because having literal sex with a vampire is, like literal (and irresponsible and ill-informed) teenage human sex, dangerous, but for different reasons: vampire sex is dangerous because in the excitement the vampire is likely to lose self-control and bite you (or, as it becomes in the later books, because the vampire is so super-strong that even if he doesn't bite you the mere exertion of force that's involved in the sex itself is likely to kill you). Which appears in at least some parts of the series to operate as a metaphor for the actual dangers of teenage sex to the extent that sex with Edward is something Bella both desires and fears (thus her mental disposition parallels what many of Meyer's female readers probably feel or felt when contemplating havign sex for the first time), except that the metaphor in this case is an extremely bad and misleading one because, first of all, fear of sex with a vampire is extremely rational and appropriate because having sex with a vampire genuinely is almost certain to kill you whereas fear of sex with a teenage boy is largely irrational and socially constructed because having sex with a teenage boy is almost certain not to kill you and very likely to cause you no ill effects at all; and secondly, the danger from sex with a vampire stems from the vampire's inherent dangerousness and lack of self-control, whereas the danger from sex with a teenage boy, in as much as there is any danger at all, stems from irresponsibility and ignorance on the part of both participants. So on this level vampire sex seems to function as a metaphor for teenage human sex that tells us, quite unhelpfully, that teenage human sex is extremely dangerous because boys are violent and have little self-control. Indeed sex with a vampire here seems to be really a metaphor for sex with a date-rapist, but because it looks like a metaphor for sex in general the reader comes away with an unconscious impression that all men are rapists. Which is, to put it very mildly, not an appropriate assertion to make by sleight-of-hand in a book like this.

And not only do the metaphorical and the literal messages get into conflicts and tangles with one another, but the metaphorical and literal events themselves get caught up together in the plot. In

Breaking dawn

(

spoilers

, as if anyone cares!) Edward does eventually have sex (literally) with Bella, she having tricked / persuaded him to do this while she's still human. The metaphorical danger of the literal sex doesn't materialize: he restrains himself sufficiently that he causes no injury beyond extensive bruising. But then we find that the literal danger of literal sex does result: Bella gets pregnant. Consequently, although the literal sex didn't result in the expected metaphorical event (death), this result is ultimately caused by the literal result of the literal sex (pregnancy), because Bella dies delivering the baby, thus in turn bringing about the metaphorical sex (vampirism) because in order to save her Edward has to make her a vampire, except that this has now stopped being a metaphor for sex and has become something like a metaphor for the immortal soul (since Bella, like a good Mormon, refuses life-saving abortion and therefore dies to be reborn as a happy immortal being).

It's all rather baffling, really.

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Jamie Johnston

at 16:34 on 2009-12-29Oh, also, quick thing about empowerment. I think this is a little more complex than some commenters have thought, in as much as Bella is actually quite a powerful agent of action in the plot a lot of the time but at the same time she's very disempowered in other ways. In

Twilight

itself (

spoliers

of course) she has a lot of will but very little capacity and does indeed have to be rescued again and again. It's perhaps slightly good that the climax results from her choice to escape the protection of the Cullens in order to rescue her mother from the evil vampire, but this is undermined by the fact that it's a stupid idea and she ends up having to be rescued from the evil vampire herself.

But in the later books things improve a bit. In

New moon

a certain amount of rescuing is still required, but she does end up taking a real role in the final bit of the plot, namely 'rescuing' Edward from killing himself because he thinks she's dead. In

Eclipse

she exercises a fairly significant bit of agency in choosing between her two suitors. And of course in

Breaking dawn

she gets ridiculous super-powers and can kick everyone's collective arse. In a sense her ridiculous super-powers are quite traditionally feminine in that they're protective rather than offensive, but there's no implication that they're anything other than utterly crucial to victory.

Still, the series is really a lurve story more than a fantasy adventure, so the most important place for Bella to show agency and empowerment is in her relationship with Edward, and there isn't much of it there. She's pushy about sex and eventually gets what she wants, but one can't really say that she's in control or that she directs events in the relationship.

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http://atropaxbeladona.livejournal.com/

at 22:48 on 2011-02-10I can't comment on the original post, but I read your dumb post about Steve Vander Ark and laughed so hard your cluelessness, I thought you should know. Also, some facts about the case can be found

here

and

here

.

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http://atropaxbeladona.livejournal.com/

at 22:48 on 2011-02-10Oops, it should be AT your cluelesness but my browser eated it. :(

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Dan H

at 23:20 on 2011-02-10Hiya, sorry you can't post on the original article, really not sure what the issue is if you can post on this one (openID sometimes plays funny).

I'm more than willing to believe that the HP Lexicon did in fact contain unattributed material from the Potter books (and looking at the article which I believe I wrote in 2008 I did in fact open with the line "If the guy has genuinely reproduced text from the Potter books without attribution, then he's breaking the law and he needs to correct that") it's just that Rowling seemed to be trying to argue that (a) reference guides were inherently worthless and that (b) a guide to her books could be improved by including information that is not in the books.

I don't really give a crap about the legality of it (that's for courts to decide, although personally I come down on the side of "if it's not her words it's not her copyright" although I suspect that is an oversimplification) what bothered me was what it implied about Rowling's attitude to her texts.

But dude, it was three years ago, I'm personally kind of over it.

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Dan H

at 09:39 on 2011-02-11Further:

Having read the posts you linked in some detail, I'm pretty sure the court's analysis and understanding of copyright law was basically in line with my own as expressed in the original article.

My problem with the lawsuit wasn't that I thought that Rowling was necessarily wrong, just that I thought she was acting for the wrong reasons. Her objection to the lexicon was that it just put information from the books in alphabetical order and that's ... well ... perfectly reasonable as far as I can see.

The key to the case was (as I pointed out several times in the comments on the original article) that copyright protects not ideas but expressions, and the Lexicon used too much of Rowling's original expression (particularly from the two companion books). It had nothing to do with those complaints which I dismissed as ludicrous - that there wasn't enough new information in the book, and that all he'd done was rearrange preexisting information.

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Arthur B

at 11:00 on 2011-02-11It's often the case in law - especially poorly understood fields like IP law - that the reasons your client has to want to take action against someone have nothing to do with the actual legal arguments as to why what that person did was wrong. I imagine her lawyers spent a lot of time encouraging her to stick to the actual harm that was done - the wholesale borrowing of her text - rather than wittering on about irrelevant nonsense that undermined her case, and failing that tried to suppress the urge to roll their eyes at her testimony and did all they could to get her off the stand sharpish before she did more damage.

A lot of the skill in being an attorney, especially in emotive cases like these, is taking a client's irrational concerns, working out whether there's any legal merit to them, and failing that working out whether the opponent has screwed up in some other respect which would allow your client to get satisfaction that way. It's difficult because often the sensible and prudent thing to do is not the thing which would make the client feel happy and vindicated.

On the other side, I would

hope

Vander Ark's lawyers expended at least some effort to say "Look, we might be able to put together a case here, but let's face it - it'll be tenuous. It might be cheaper and easier in the long run to cut your losses and do a rewrite to reduce the amount of stuff you're copy-pasting directly from the books so we can settle this out of court." If a client is intent on making a stand and won't listen to advice to the contrary that's one thing, but it's not cool to let clients walk into the lion's den expecting kittens.

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Gamer_2k4 at 19:36 on 2011-05-18

Meyer wrote a prologue about an imminent death in first person past tense. Say that with me again. IMMINENT death. FIRST person. PAST tense.

So? I'm sure nearly all first-person works are written in past tense; I know for sure that most novels in general are past tense. Present tense just sounds strange in a book, regardless of the application. After all, the fact that you have a book in its entirety means it was (supposedly) compiled together from past events, rather than being something that's being written as you read it.

Now, I'm not trying to say that Meyer has any merit as a writer. That would be silly. However, past tense isn't as bad as you're making it out to be.

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Wardog

at 20:13 on 2011-05-18Meyer's prologue, and pedestrian prose style, don't bother me as much as they bother Melissa but nevertheless I do agree that trying to induce a sense of narrative tension by having the narrator fearing her imminent death in the past tense only draws attention to the artificiality of the form because it smacks you in the face with the reality that this is being narrated from *somewhere*. I don't think it's the first person past tense that's the issue: it's the death thang. Also quite a lot of YA novels, The Hunger Games and The Knife of Never Letting Go, are told in present tense first person narration for precisely this reason.

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Melissa G.

at 22:59 on 2011-05-18

nevertheless I do agree that trying to induce a sense of narrative tension by having the narrator fearing her imminent death in the past tense only draws attention to the artificiality of the form because it smacks you in the face with the reality that this is being narrated from *somewhere*.

This basically says it. I wasn't objecting to the past tense. I think past tense should be the default if you don't have a good reason to switch it up. The problem with what Meyer did was that you have a character telling you how they are about to die despite the fact that since the narration is in past tense, we already KNOW the narrator doesn't die thus killing any sense of tension or fear.

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Andy G

at 23:27 on 2011-05-18I remember writing about present tense narration in my first year at uni. There was a sentence in All Quiet on the Western Front that piqued my interest:

We trudge through mud for five days. (paraphrase)

The question is: at what point is he narrating from? If it's the middle of the period, how does he know they will marching for five days. If it's after the period, why doesn't he use past tense?

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying present-tense narration is problematic or illogical or anything. I just think it's an interesting contrast to the past-tense first-person-about-to-die narration.

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at 08:42 on 2011-05-19It seems that if one wants tension in a past tense, using first persion might not be the way to go. Rather it is more effective if it is some version of the apersonal narrative voice.

Though that might not be as immersive. This isn't true in my personal experience, I often get annoyed with first person present tense even if it works on occasion.

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Wardog

at 10:33 on 2011-05-19Yes, I think you're right. I think the thing is you can't have it both ways. There's nothing inherently "wrong" about first person past tense narration telling you the protagonist presently fears for her death but you can't also expect the reader to get all wound up about it.

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Andy G

at 12:25 on 2011-05-19I've just remembered something that the Kick-Ass voiceover narrator says:

"And if you're reassuring yourself that I'm going to make it through this since I'm talking to you now, quit being such a smart-ass! Hell dude, you never seen "Sin City"? "Sunset Boulevard"? "American Beauty"?

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Dan H

at 23:02 on 2011-05-19I have heard that /Sunset Boulevard/ originally opened with the narrator actually checking himself into a morgue.

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Shim

at 23:22 on 2011-05-19

"We trudge through mud for five days." (paraphrase) The question is: at what point is he narrating from? If it's the middle of the period, how does he know they will marching for five days. If it's after the period, why doesn't he use past tense?

Well, I'd say not from any point, but the whole period. Or if you insist on a fixed point, continuously at points during the five days that are handily merged for the reader's convenience. But I prefer the first.

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Wardog

at 23:31 on 2011-05-19Also, and sorry to keep going on about this because I do absolutely see your point Andy, none of those texts are trying to make you feel anxious about whether or not the protagonist dies.

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Dan H

at 23:38 on 2011-05-19To be fair to Stephanie Meyer, you can make the case that the flash-forward in Twilight *also* isn't trying to make you feel anxious about whether or not the protagonist dies, rather it's trying to make you feel curious about how this seemingly normal girl will find herself at risk of death (spoiler: the guy she likes turns out to be a vampire).

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Wardog

at 23:44 on 2011-05-19Point taken. I am pwned.

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Melissa G.

at 00:35 on 2011-05-20

To be fair to Stephanie Meyer, you can make the case that the flash-forward in Twilight *also* isn't trying to make you feel anxious about whether or not the protagonist dies, rather it's trying to make you feel curious about how this seemingly normal girl will find herself at risk of death (spoiler: the guy she likes turns out to be a vampire).

The point remains that it didn't make me feel *anything* because the prose was flat, explanatory, bland, and horribly horribly boring. It inspired no feeling whatsoever. The first person narrator was facing her death and she was waxing boring about trivial details. The story could have just started with the first chapter, and the audience wouldn't have lost anything. It wasn't just the first person past tense fail of making the audience nervous or anxious. The passage was just poor and served no purpose and should have been cut completely. At least in Kick-Ass even though I wasn't thinking the kid would die, I was still nervous and freaked out for him because that movie inspired thoughts and feelings and connection to the main character and who he was and how he felt. Twilight does NONE of this with it's awkwardly phrased, thesaurus syndrome purple prose.

*pants* Wow, ranty. Sorry....

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http://ruderetum.blogspot.com/

at 11:36 on 2011-05-20It comes to mind that in first person past tense, the result of the situation might not be death, but it could be something traumatic or bad altogether. Examples: Robin Hobb's Farseer trilogy, Mika Waltari's The Egyptian.

This is not a defense of Waltari, I was just thinking how it could work as generating tension. Arguably this would apply to All Quiet on the Western Front, as even if we might not worry for the narrator, everyone knows its going to get bad. I don't recall whether the whole novel was in first person past tense though, rather than just the quote Andy G posted.

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at 11:49 on 2011-05-20I mean defense of Meyer. Drat.

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Melissa G.

at 17:34 on 2011-05-20

This is not a defense of Waltari, I was just thinking how it could work as generating tension.

I think it could work. If the narrative managed to invoke anxiety or fear or nerves for the character, that would be a successful passage despite the fact that the audience knows she won't die. Also, it's hard for the prologue to inspire anything in the reader because we don't know Bella yet, and we have yet to care about her. So it'd be more difficult to pull off in the first book then it would in the second or third where the character and our feelings toward them is already established. In any case, it would take a better writer than Meyer to pull it off.

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Andy G

at 11:31 on 2011-05-23"I don't recall whether the whole novel was in first person past tense though, rather than just the quote Andy G posted."

Just FYI, it was :)

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Andy G

at 11:31 on 2011-05-23Apart from the very, very end.

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Robinson L

at 22:30 on 2011-06-06More necroing. I'm not sure if this is bringing a new perspective on the above discussion of tension in first person narration, or reiterating a point someone else has already made; in first person, past-tense narration, I think when the protagonist is in danger, the tension comes more from how they'll get out of it, rather than whether they will (similarly in a great deal of third person narratives).

Brandon Sanderson hung a pretty funny lampshade on this point in the second book of his

Alcatraz

series, where the first person narrator encourages the reader to ignore the mortal danger he was in at the end of the previous chapter for a moment because he's narrating in the past tense, so he obviously survived somehow.

But anyway, this is all just a thinly disguised excuse to provide an update on my

earlier promise

to deliver an article on the subject of Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire series. I had one mostly worked out, then I read

Pyrofennec's review of All Together Dead

and I had to rethink my whole take on the series. So no articles any time soon.

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Wardog

at 16:46 on 2011-06-07Ye Gods, that's a lot of fail. I read about halfway through the first one, tbh, but the banal prose style sent me to sleep. I will confess to a secret filthy love of the TV series - even though it's, y'know, not without problems. Tara being one of them. I quite *like* Tara but I've never seen so many shitty things happen to one person in my entire life.

The line I particularly liked in there, and by 'liked' I mean made me cringe in an amusing fashion, was "racial blend." That, to me, sounds like a protein shake.

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Robinson L

at 00:00 on 2011-06-09I actually quite like the book series, for various reasons, but I obviously need to start thinking about it more critically.

I also enjoy

True Blood

, though as you say, it's got issues too. Despite the problems surrounding her character, Tara's actually my favorite in the tv show for the sheer awesomeness of her intro in episode one.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 15:41 on 2012-04-21It's probably been said before, but the only rational explanation that I can think of for the Twilight series being the success it was (even before the movies came out) was that desparate, coming-of-age Harry Potter fans needed something to replace their fantasy fix, and sadly Twilight was the wrong young adult series to come out at the right time.

Now that they're full grown adults, hopefully they're reading Game of Thrones to remind them what good fantasy writing is.

I enjoyed the Harry Potter series myself *ducks* but happily went on to Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials series which saved me from Twihard Disease.

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http://fishinginthemud.livejournal.com/

at 16:54 on 2012-04-21I can just about understand the appeal of

Twilight

to a teenager. Bella's life sucks exactly the way your life sucks. You have to do the dishes while your brothers sit on the couch watching tv and laughing at you for being a girl. You get in trouble for swearing when they don't. You're not allowed to play and have fun and have dreams and ambitions while they are. Boys at school are creepy douchebags to you, and your boyfriend is a total controlling asshole.

It might be nice to have that turned into something that's kind of not so bad, and affirms that you actually are okay, even kind of awesome, and boys treat you like crap because they can't handle your awesomeness, and anyway you wouldn't want them to be nice to you, because then they'd be spineless pussies. (How I hate that word.) Your dad makes you do the housework not because you're a girl and that's all you're good for, but because he loves you and cares about you and you have your role in life just as he has his. Your boyfriend wants to control you and protect you and make decisions for you because that's his role, just as it's your role to make him happy in exactly the way he chooses. Really, it's not so bad, and you don't have to feel so bad about it.

I think my heart just cracked a little.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 17:05 on 2012-04-22

I can just about understand the appeal of Twilight to a teenager...Boys at school are creepy douchebags to you, and your boyfriend is a total controlling asshole.

I see your point FITM, which is why I'm ever-so-glad I spent my formative years in an all-girls catholic highschool. As much as we usually make fun of such establishments, I for one felt much more prepared for the added social pressures of dating & such when I entered college. Highschool was hard enough just keeping on top of grades without worrying about what to wear every damn day.

[alizasherman]

#Repost from my sister @drleahs about our Mom. Totally our Mom. ・・・ Earlier this week I came up with a list of things I want to do to honor my mother. I thought it would be fun if friends and family joined in and share photos of themselves doing one, some, or all of the things that are oh-so-Lucy. Here's the list: 1. Listen to Johnny Mathis. My parents loved Johnny Mathis. Chances Are was their song. 2. Go look at holiday lights. Bonus points: if you live in NYC, she loved the department store displays. If you live in AZ, she loved the luminarias at the Desert Botanical Garden. 3. Eat lunch at a department store. Yes, that's a thing. I'm not talking grabbing a coffee at the Nordstrom cafe, I mean a real, sit-down meal in the store restaurant. 4. Go to the movies. Mom loved the movies, especially action films. She wanted to see Justice League. Don't forget the popcorn, no butter, of course. Bonus points: after one movie finishes, walk into a second theater and catch another film. 5. Eat See's Candy. If you can go to an actual store and get a free sample, even better. 6. Dance on a table. According to the legend, Mom danced on a table at the Officer's Club in Honolulu on New Year's Eve back in the '60s. 7. Shop at The Dollar Store. 8. Watch a show on PBS. Lucy's favorites were Masterpiece Theater, Mystery, and all of the cooking shows. 9. Clean behind your fridge. On top of it, too. When Mom visited us at any of our apartments, she would clean behind our fridge. She even threw out her back once moving my fridge when I lived in the East Village, so remember, lift from your knees. 10. Make your bed. 11. Put on some lipstick. You'll feel better. Mom rarely if ever left the house without applying lipstick, and was always encouraging Aliza and I to do the same. 12. Go on a European river cruise. That was the one item Mom had on her bucket list, she'd never been on a river cruise. Lucy Mary Sherman was born on December 15, 1933. She passed away December 17, 2017. I love you, Mommy. #Love4LucyMS #LiveLikeLucy

[repwinpril9y0a1]

To Be A Force of Positivity, To Be Everything Trump Is Not: The #WomensMarch Experience

Seven days since the #WomensMarch shook the world and I still can't get out of my head images of women resisting - joyful and determined. I marched in New York City. I came home that day with a thrill I still haven't shaken. A good thing, because mass mobilization may be our most potent weapon against a new administration that has already shown itself to be grossly incompetent, hateful, and acutely dangerous to our health. As a reported 3.3 to 4.6 million women and men marched on January 21st, I wanted to get a selection of stories - first drafts of history - so we can know what this day was really like for many. I sent out the call and received written narratives from 41 marchers (39 women and two men). Fifteen marches were represented: Washington, DC; New York City, Phoenix, AZ; Stamford, CT; Cincinnati, OH; Montpeiler, VT; Dayton, OH; Winchester, VA; Ithaca, NY; Indianapolis, IN; Houston, TX; Portland, ME; Jacksonsivlle, FL; Austin, TX; Lansing, MI; and Des Moines, IA. Here is what they shared. Getting There Some marchers hired buses. Some flew, some drove, others walked. Megean Weidman journeyed just "a few hundred feet" to the march site from her café job in Portland, Maine. Elisabeth Lehr traveled 500 miles each way. "We drove from Northern Vermont to Washington, DC," wrote Lehr. "Every rest top was filled with happy, excited, pussy-hatted women." Instead of marching in NYC's sister march, several New York-based respondents headed to Washington. "I took a bus to DC from Manhattan with a diverse group of women and one righteous man," wrote Shari Berman. "The bus was arranged by moms from my son's school. We sang freedom songs along the way led by a 70 year-old grandmother who had clearly done this before." "Our bus captains jokingly left Depend diapers on each seat," wrote New Yorker Leslie Cain. "We laughed about our ugly clear backpacks that carried water, granola bars, sharpies, battery packs, and tampons on full display. They had to be clear so we wouldn't be deemed 'dangerous' and detained." Some marchers had a simpler journey. "I had a ten-minute drive," wrote Morgen Bermel in Des Moines. "Then a couple rides around the block to find an open parking space." In Houston and Phoenix Uber-riders reported anxiety that their drivers in might be conservative and against the march, but were pleasantly surprised by their support--or at least, neutrality. "[Our Uber driver] was rather indifferent but we got him talking about music," said Beth Weinstein in Phoenix. "He was a big Lady Gaga fan, so we at least felt non-threatened at that point." In Washington, Melissa Sullivan was struck by the journey through DC itself: "As we drove [in] we could see bands of men and women wearing pink hats and holding signs, on their way to the march. We honked at them in solidarity, waving a sign out of the window and cheering as we passed. The closer we got to the Capitol, the larger these groups became. Dozens of tour buses, filled to capacity, unloaded. Throngs of people ascended from the metro. It was amazing." Obstacles Fear ranked number one. Getting over one's fear that the march might get violent or out-of-control. "We had never protested or marched before," wrote Monica Chylla, an East Lansing mother who marched in DC. "I was nervous about potential violent outbursts at the march. I was so anxious I couldn't sleep the night before. But this experience was completely peaceful and people were courteous." "Winchester (VA) is a fairly conservative place," wrote Tamara Haack. "I was worried about what the repercussions would be as far as counter-protests. While watching the Inauguration I realized I needed to overcome my fear because this just too damn important to stay home." Fear of crowds was a major anxiety to overcome. "I feel incredibly claustrophobic and shy in huge crowds," wrote Addie Tsai, who attended the Houston march. "I have never been to any kind of protest or march such as this one, mainly for these reasons." For Pam Hart, who attended the Stamford, CT, march, it was deciding whether to bring a mildly-feverish child who really wanted to go. They decided to bring her and it was fine. "Tylenol and snacks did the trick," wrote Hart. Other obstacles involved logistics. A Maryland mother who prefers to remain anonymous arrived at the Shady Grove Metro at 8:00am and couldn't board until 9:30am. "It was so packed inside the station," she wrote, "we worried we wouldn't get to DC. But police came and staggered the traffic so people weren't crowded in the tunnel leading to the station. It could have been a disaster." At the DC march, marchers struggled to access WI-FI. Marchers who promised to text and find each other were incommunicado. "My family was trying to reach me but they couldn't" said the Maryland mother. "No Internet seemed to be a problem," wrote Carolyn Ferrell. "But then it wasn't. We communicated with each other, shared stories, and enjoyed the signs." The Kids Are Alright As the mother of a six year-old, I thought about bringing my son to the New York City march. But that thought last two minutes - I feared losing him in a large, unpredictable crowd. I feared bathroom asks at bad times. Many respondents reported worrying whether or not the march would be a safe and good place for their kids. Yet many families brought their children and shared how profound it was to march together--with a little planning. "We had such a smooth, positive experience that could have easily turned difficult due to the children," wrote Dr. Christie Boxer, who attended the Lansing, MI march. "We studied the city layout so that we could move about effectively given any conditions - violent outbreak, road closings - and arrived early enough to get a kid-friendly spot." In New York City, Dana Ostomel was proud of her daughter's poise, as were fellow marchers: "My five year-old stood with me in a two x two radius for almost three hours waiting to march. My daughter received a lot of positive reinforcement for coming out, standing with others, and using her voice." At the same march, Jenn Linstad felt her eleven year-old daughter had a profound consciousness expansion. "Her foundations in social justice have been strong," said Linstad. "But by being there, she was able to see, first-hand, the deafening truth in the Audre Lorde statement: 'I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own." Two respondents noted the children as a highpoint. "Perhaps the most beautiful thing about the march were the children who marched alongside their parents," wrote Matt Jones, who marched in Cincinnati. Addie Tsai thought the most poignant aspect of the march experience was "seeing so many children holding signs." At the Houston march, Robin Reagler's 11 year-old daughter carried a sign that said "I compete in rodeos. Don't tell me how girls should ACT." A daughter in DC held the sign: "If One Man Can Destroy Everything Why Can't One Girl Change It?". And I'll never forget the young afroed teen boy I saw sitting above the crowd on NYC scaffolding with the sign "Thank you Obamas! You made us feel great again!" "I'm not sure if my daughter will remember the actual day," added Ostomel, "but I hope it builds a visceral feeling within her memory bank that she can call upon." The March Experience So how did it feel for the adults? "Transformative," wrote Lucy Vagnerova. "Uplifting and invigorating," wrote Pam Hart. "Empowering and transformative," wrote a Long Island mother. "A top ten highlight of my life," wrote the Maryland mother. This may have been a trip of a lifetime, but it wasn't easy. "Cold, muddy, stuck in a crowd - we didn't really get to march or hear the speakers," wrote Nicole Cooley, who traveled to Washington from New Jersey. "But it was so inspiring! A lesson to girls that activism isn't always comfortable. Ami Novak wrote of the #PortaJohnStruggle. "We exchanged supplies with the ladies around us, because the porta-johns were disgusting and nearly overflowing," wrote Novak. "[The ladies in line] gave my friend's daughter an extra pussy hat. She loved it." In Montpeiler, VT, Lea Belair was stunned by the crowd size - an estimated 20,000 in a town of 7500 - and who made a special appearance. "We had a high vantage point from the capitol steps and could see marchers arriving at the rally for literally hours. When Bernie Sanders showed up unexpectedly, the crowd--including me--went wild. When he told us there were so many cars on the interstate they had to shut it down, the crowd erupted." For a New York mom traveling to Dayton, OH, on business, attending the local march was an "incredible" experience. "At first I felt out of place because I'm Black, and the crowd majority was definitely Caucasian. I was also wearing all-black and tall boots, something extremely common in New York City, but not in Dayton. But I loved my displaced experience. It proved to me how from the beginning this era is strong." "At 62 years, it was my first march," wrote the Maryland mom. "It's the best I've felt this election because I realized that there was a sense of solidarity that day. I wasn't alone. I wasn't crazy. The marchers were predominantly white, but people of every hue participated. People were so nice. And that's not a word I use often. Though I would suggest inviting more women of color. It would have been nice to see more diversity." Despite white majorities, marchers of color reported positive experiences. "Although I've heard valid points regarding issues of white privilege at the marches, that wasn't my experience," wrote Addie Tsai of the Houston march. "I found incredible solidarity among bodies of various positions - white, black queer, Asian, etc. Everyone felt very connected, and kind, and generous with their bodies in the space." Leslie Cain wore a placard that said "What a Patriot Looks Like". "The arrow pointed towards my melanin-skinned, afro-haloed self," wrote Cain. "Older white women in particular stopped to take pictures of me all day. Not in a unicorn siting way (I know that feeling), but possibly in agreement." In New York City, marchers spoke of the thrill of marching up Fifth Avenue towards Trump Tower. "Beyond the barricades, non-marchers were cheering us on and holding their own signs," wrote Sirin Thada. "People were waving down from windows and balconies. We heard the sound of church bells along the breeze. As we got closer, 'We Shall Overcome' rang from the top of St. Thomas Church and we sang along. That was such a beautiful moment, to all be of one voice." Rosie Finizio wrote that the high point of marching was knowing "that we are all the heroes of this story, united against an evil Orange Menace." But Finizio had advice for next time around: "Once people get to Trump Tower, they must MOVE." After many hours waiting for a march to start, marchers want to keep it moving for sure. Speakers captivated many of the marchers. National coverage showed the diverse Washington speaking program, featuring activists from Angela Davis to Linda Sarsour to Melissa Mays. Other marches had speakers, too. At the New York City march, Finizio noted Whoopi Goldberg and Cynthia Nixon. "I went early so I was near the platform and got to hear many of the speeches," wrote Michelle Valladeres. "The most poignant one came from a Latino activist who spoke about his mother's journey crossing the border to give him a chance at an education. He described the running, falling down, and fear, in detail. I felt the pain of all of our stories of immigration, discrimination for whatever difference we possess in that moment. I cried." Star encounters were profound, too. Joan Lipkin had a primo spot next to the stage in DC. There she met Harry Potter film star and UN Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson. Watson is best known for playing girl power heroine Hermione, a character often namedropped on many march signs (ex. "Without Hermione, Harry would have died in book one"). "I told her she was a wonderful actress but that her work as a human rights activist was as important," wrote Lipkin. "She seemed touched. And when I told her that she is the future, she teared up." You can make the case that the real stars of the day were handmade signs--and the handmade hats. "We saw so many creative signs--people actively complimented each other on originality and execution," wrote Lucie Vagnerova, who attended the Washington march. She also met a woman who sculpts medical-grade silicone vaginas for surgical practice, and she had glued a few anatomically-diverse ones to signs staying "Stay out of my vagina," "Grabs back," and "Not Yours to Grab." And so many in the crowd wore hand-knit hats based on a pattern shared before the march. "There were thousands, maybe tens of thousands of pink pussy hats. This is what the patriarchy gets for committing women to arts and crafts for centuries: we really brought it!" At her Phoenix march, Beth Weinstein was moved to see Canadian women marching. "To know that the world is concerned and wants to lend their voices is truly heartfelt," wrote Weinstein. "It also scares me. If they're as concerned as I am, then the administration must be as bad as I anticipate it to be." In Jacksonville, Holly Masturzo simply wanted to listen. Part of their march day was at Suffragette Mary A. Nolan's gravesite. "People were greeted at the gates of the cemetery and given pledge cards for the local Democratic party - a practical gesture, yet not one that felt like the call I wanted to respond to most that moment," wrote Masturzo. "It wasn't a moment to sign for next actions in my view but rather for listening, for tending to the layers, intensely complex ones at that, of the journey of women's suffrage in this part of the world." Photo by Emma-Lee Signs (A Selection) Take your broken heart and make it art! / These are not tears. This is the Sea. /Thinking Women Against Trump (TWAT) / RBG, stay alive!/Black Lives Matter (carried by more than Black people) / Cheeto in Chief / My daughter's more afraid of intolerance than cancer / Women are Literally the Best / Grumpy Cat saying "UGH" / So bad, even introverts are here / Build a wall between church and state / Do the Most Good/ Love trumps hate / They tried to bury us but they didn't know we were seeds / Women's rights are human rights (with the W on Women replaced with a pair of breasts) / RESIST / The revolution starts here (with a diagram of a uterus) / Make America Think Again / Did you assume that I'm wearing my dad's (Navy) hat? Or my brother's maybe? Then YOU are the reason I'm here /Less suffering, more grace / #FreeMelania / Can't believe I have to protest this shit forty years later / Toddlers Against Tyranny / Your guns will have no animals left to kill if you don't take care of the environment / [Signs in Russian] / Show us your taxes / (Caricature of a sad Paul Ryan) Paul Ryan Can't Find the Clit / Excerpt of June Jordan's 'Poem About My Rights' / We Shall Overcomb / America Is Already Great / Don't Forget: White Women Voted for Trump / I'd Call Him a Cunt But He Lacks Depth and Warmth / Never Underestimate the Power of a Fag with a Tambourine / Resistance is Fertile! / Lesbian Moms on Fleek. Stay Woke! / Thou Shalt Not Mess with a Woman's Reproductive Rights. Fallopians 1:21 / Hell hath no fury like 157 million women scorned / Viva la vulva / I will NOT go QUIETLY back into the 1950s / Respect existence or expect resistance / If you build a wall, I will grow up and tear it down / History has its eyes on you / Planned Parenthood saved my life / I'm NASTY AF / Bully Culprit / Oh Hell No What Now? I asked the marchers what they will do next. "What won't I do now is the question," wrote Beth Weinstein. "I'm making calls every day to (Senators) McCain and Flake. Today's calls are regarding (Cabinet nominee) Betsy DeVos." Other marchers pledged phone calls and visits to elected, actions encouraged by the Indivisible guide and congressional staff advising constituents on most effective lobbying techniques. "We must call, email, and write our representatives relentlessly," wrote Dawn Tarney Brunner. "So they never forget what the majority wants." "I'm getting involved with the local Democratic organization," wrote Dr. Boxer, "and using my position as a college professor to educate and guide others to effective actions." Laura Miller Tomaselli, a Brooklyn mother, is busier than ever: "Lots of conversations, social media posts, poster parties, fundraising dinners, rallies, picket lines, voter turnout efforts. Lots of listening, lots of comparing notes." But Miller made a point about current political leadership. "The grassroots certainly showed its stuff last Saturday. Now we are waiting for the Democratic Party to do more than send us daily solicitations. Where are they, I wonder? Is there anything left of that billion we raised for Hillary?" All respondents had some kind of action plan, though some marchers were focused more on personal interactions: "I want to be a force of positivity, to be everything Trump is not," wrote Sirin Thada. "To speak from the heart, but with wisdom, clarity, love and respect. To End with a Beginning When Shari Berman shared her story, she wrote of her group's walk from their parked bus to the Washington march site. I thought it was beautiful. Please allow me to end this piece with a beginning: "Our bus parked three miles from the staging area and, to our surprise, the Metro was at capacity. So we decided to walk the three miles - a sea of pink pussy hats making its way through the streets. And for a day that was filled with inspiration, the three-mile journey was perhaps the most inspiring experience of them all. All along the way we were greeted with lawn signs set in front of private homes not promoting a particular candidate or political agenda but instead featuring spiritually-lifting quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King. The DC police and the National Guard were kind, polite, and welcomed us to their city. A few even applauded us. We passed an African American church where several older people were leaving a religious service. They cheered us on and said that they were with us in spirit. We encountered neighbors handing out free water or playing music to spur us on. A beautiful little girl not more than seven years-old dressed in a Disney Princess stood on her porch and waved to us. It was her future we were marching for and we all waved back! All along the way people took a moment out of their day to thank us for being there and I couldn't have been prouder to be American."

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from DIYS http://ift.tt/2kc8d5O

[repwincoml4a0a5]

To Be A Force of Positivity, To Be Everything Trump Is Not: The #WomensMarch Experience

Seven days since the #WomensMarch shook the world and I still can't get out of my head images of women resisting - joyful and determined. I marched in New York City. I came home that day with a thrill I still haven't shaken. A good thing, because mass mobilization may be our most potent weapon against a new administration that has already shown itself to be grossly incompetent, hateful, and acutely dangerous to our health. As a reported 3.3 to 4.6 million women and men marched on January 21st, I wanted to get a selection of stories - first drafts of history - so we can know what this day was really like for many. I sent out the call and received written narratives from 41 marchers (39 women and two men). Fifteen marches were represented: Washington, DC; New York City, Phoenix, AZ; Stamford, CT; Cincinnati, OH; Montpeiler, VT; Dayton, OH; Winchester, VA; Ithaca, NY; Indianapolis, IN; Houston, TX; Portland, ME; Jacksonsivlle, FL; Austin, TX; Lansing, MI; and Des Moines, IA. Here is what they shared. Getting There Some marchers hired buses. Some flew, some drove, others walked. Megean Weidman journeyed just "a few hundred feet" to the march site from her café job in Portland, Maine. Elisabeth Lehr traveled 500 miles each way. "We drove from Northern Vermont to Washington, DC," wrote Lehr. "Every rest top was filled with happy, excited, pussy-hatted women." Instead of marching in NYC's sister march, several New York-based respondents headed to Washington. "I took a bus to DC from Manhattan with a diverse group of women and one righteous man," wrote Shari Berman. "The bus was arranged by moms from my son's school. We sang freedom songs along the way led by a 70 year-old grandmother who had clearly done this before." "Our bus captains jokingly left Depend diapers on each seat," wrote New Yorker Leslie Cain. "We laughed about our ugly clear backpacks that carried water, granola bars, sharpies, battery packs, and tampons on full display. They had to be clear so we wouldn't be deemed 'dangerous' and detained." Some marchers had a simpler journey. "I had a ten-minute drive," wrote Morgen Bermel in Des Moines. "Then a couple rides around the block to find an open parking space." In Houston and Phoenix Uber-riders reported anxiety that their drivers in might be conservative and against the march, but were pleasantly surprised by their support--or at least, neutrality. "[Our Uber driver] was rather indifferent but we got him talking about music," said Beth Weinstein in Phoenix. "He was a big Lady Gaga fan, so we at least felt non-threatened at that point." In Washington, Melissa Sullivan was struck by the journey through DC itself: "As we drove [in] we could see bands of men and women wearing pink hats and holding signs, on their way to the march. We honked at them in solidarity, waving a sign out of the window and cheering as we passed. The closer we got to the Capitol, the larger these groups became. Dozens of tour buses, filled to capacity, unloaded. Throngs of people ascended from the metro. It was amazing." Obstacles Fear ranked number one. Getting over one's fear that the march might get violent or out-of-control. "We had never protested or marched before," wrote Monica Chylla, an East Lansing mother who marched in DC. "I was nervous about potential violent outbursts at the march. I was so anxious I couldn't sleep the night before. But this experience was completely peaceful and people were courteous." "Winchester (VA) is a fairly conservative place," wrote Tamara Haack. "I was worried about what the repercussions would be as far as counter-protests. While watching the Inauguration I realized I needed to overcome my fear because this just too damn important to stay home." Fear of crowds was a major anxiety to overcome. "I feel incredibly claustrophobic and shy in huge crowds," wrote Addie Tsai, who attended the Houston march. "I have never been to any kind of protest or march such as this one, mainly for these reasons." For Pam Hart, who attended the Stamford, CT, march, it was deciding whether to bring a mildly-feverish child who really wanted to go. They decided to bring her and it was fine. "Tylenol and snacks did the trick," wrote Hart. Other obstacles involved logistics. A Maryland mother who prefers to remain anonymous arrived at the Shady Grove Metro at 8:00am and couldn't board until 9:30am. "It was so packed inside the station," she wrote, "we worried we wouldn't get to DC. But police came and staggered the traffic so people weren't crowded in the tunnel leading to the station. It could have been a disaster." At the DC march, marchers struggled to access WI-FI. Marchers who promised to text and find each other were incommunicado. "My family was trying to reach me but they couldn't" said the Maryland mother. "No Internet seemed to be a problem," wrote Carolyn Ferrell. "But then it wasn't. We communicated with each other, shared stories, and enjoyed the signs." The Kids Are Alright As the mother of a six year-old, I thought about bringing my son to the New York City march. But that thought last two minutes - I feared losing him in a large, unpredictable crowd. I feared bathroom asks at bad times. Many respondents reported worrying whether or not the march would be a safe and good place for their kids. Yet many families brought their children and shared how profound it was to march together--with a little planning. "We had such a smooth, positive experience that could have easily turned difficult due to the children," wrote Dr. Christie Boxer, who attended the Lansing, MI march. "We studied the city layout so that we could move about effectively given any conditions - violent outbreak, road closings - and arrived early enough to get a kid-friendly spot." In New York City, Dana Ostomel was proud of her daughter's poise, as were fellow marchers: "My five year-old stood with me in a two x two radius for almost three hours waiting to march. My daughter received a lot of positive reinforcement for coming out, standing with others, and using her voice." At the same march, Jenn Linstad felt her eleven year-old daughter had a profound consciousness expansion. "Her foundations in social justice have been strong," said Linstad. "But by being there, she was able to see, first-hand, the deafening truth in the Audre Lorde statement: 'I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own." Two respondents noted the children as a highpoint. "Perhaps the most beautiful thing about the march were the children who marched alongside their parents," wrote Matt Jones, who marched in Cincinnati. Addie Tsai thought the most poignant aspect of the march experience was "seeing so many children holding signs." At the Houston march, Robin Reagler's 11 year-old daughter carried a sign that said "I compete in rodeos. Don't tell me how girls should ACT." A daughter in DC held the sign: "If One Man Can Destroy Everything Why Can't One Girl Change It?". And I'll never forget the young afroed teen boy I saw sitting above the crowd on NYC scaffolding with the sign "Thank you Obamas! You made us feel great again!" "I'm not sure if my daughter will remember the actual day," added Ostomel, "but I hope it builds a visceral feeling within her memory bank that she can call upon." The March Experience So how did it feel for the adults? "Transformative," wrote Lucy Vagnerova. "Uplifting and invigorating," wrote Pam Hart. "Empowering and transformative," wrote a Long Island mother. "A top ten highlight of my life," wrote the Maryland mother. This may have been a trip of a lifetime, but it wasn't easy. "Cold, muddy, stuck in a crowd - we didn't really get to march or hear the speakers," wrote Nicole Cooley, who traveled to Washington from New Jersey. "But it was so inspiring! A lesson to girls that activism isn't always comfortable. Ami Novak wrote of the #PortaJohnStruggle. "We exchanged supplies with the ladies around us, because the porta-johns were disgusting and nearly overflowing," wrote Novak. "[The ladies in line] gave my friend's daughter an extra pussy hat. She loved it." In Montpeiler, VT, Lea Belair was stunned by the crowd size - an estimated 20,000 in a town of 7500 - and who made a special appearance. "We had a high vantage point from the capitol steps and could see marchers arriving at the rally for literally hours. When Bernie Sanders showed up unexpectedly, the crowd--including me--went wild. When he told us there were so many cars on the interstate they had to shut it down, the crowd erupted." For a New York mom traveling to Dayton, OH, on business, attending the local march was an "incredible" experience. "At first I felt out of place because I'm Black, and the crowd majority was definitely Caucasian. I was also wearing all-black and tall boots, something extremely common in New York City, but not in Dayton. But I loved my displaced experience. It proved to me how from the beginning this era is strong." "At 62 years, it was my first march," wrote the Maryland mom. "It's the best I've felt this election because I realized that there was a sense of solidarity that day. I wasn't alone. I wasn't crazy. The marchers were predominantly white, but people of every hue participated. People were so nice. And that's not a word I use often. Though I would suggest inviting more women of color. It would have been nice to see more diversity." Despite white majorities, marchers of color reported positive experiences. "Although I've heard valid points regarding issues of white privilege at the marches, that wasn't my experience," wrote Addie Tsai of the Houston march. "I found incredible solidarity among bodies of various positions - white, black queer, Asian, etc. Everyone felt very connected, and kind, and generous with their bodies in the space." Leslie Cain wore a placard that said "What a Patriot Looks Like". "The arrow pointed towards my melanin-skinned, afro-haloed self," wrote Cain. "Older white women in particular stopped to take pictures of me all day. Not in a unicorn siting way (I know that feeling), but possibly in agreement." In New York City, marchers spoke of the thrill of marching up Fifth Avenue towards Trump Tower. "Beyond the barricades, non-marchers were cheering us on and holding their own signs," wrote Sirin Thada. "People were waving down from windows and balconies. We heard the sound of church bells along the breeze. As we got closer, 'We Shall Overcome' rang from the top of St. Thomas Church and we sang along. That was such a beautiful moment, to all be of one voice." Rosie Finizio wrote that the high point of marching was knowing "that we are all the heroes of this story, united against an evil Orange Menace." But Finizio had advice for next time around: "Once people get to Trump Tower, they must MOVE." After many hours waiting for a march to start, marchers want to keep it moving for sure. Speakers captivated many of the marchers. National coverage showed the diverse Washington speaking program, featuring activists from Angela Davis to Linda Sarsour to Melissa Mays. Other marches had speakers, too. At the New York City march, Finizio noted Whoopi Goldberg and Cynthia Nixon. "I went early so I was near the platform and got to hear many of the speeches," wrote Michelle Valladeres. "The most poignant one came from a Latino activist who spoke about his mother's journey crossing the border to give him a chance at an education. He described the running, falling down, and fear, in detail. I felt the pain of all of our stories of immigration, discrimination for whatever difference we possess in that moment. I cried." Star encounters were profound, too. Joan Lipkin had a primo spot next to the stage in DC. There she met Harry Potter film star and UN Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson. Watson is best known for playing girl power heroine Hermione, a character often namedropped on many march signs (ex. "Without Hermione, Harry would have died in book one"). "I told her she was a wonderful actress but that her work as a human rights activist was as important," wrote Lipkin. "She seemed touched. And when I told her that she is the future, she teared up." You can make the case that the real stars of the day were handmade signs--and the handmade hats. "We saw so many creative signs--people actively complimented each other on originality and execution," wrote Lucie Vagnerova, who attended the Washington march. She also met a woman who sculpts medical-grade silicone vaginas for surgical practice, and she had glued a few anatomically-diverse ones to signs staying "Stay out of my vagina," "Grabs back," and "Not Yours to Grab." And so many in the crowd wore hand-knit hats based on a pattern shared before the march. "There were thousands, maybe tens of thousands of pink pussy hats. This is what the patriarchy gets for committing women to arts and crafts for centuries: we really brought it!" At her Phoenix march, Beth Weinstein was moved to see Canadian women marching. "To know that the world is concerned and wants to lend their voices is truly heartfelt," wrote Weinstein. "It also scares me. If they're as concerned as I am, then the administration must be as bad as I anticipate it to be." In Jacksonville, Holly Masturzo simply wanted to listen. Part of their march day was at Suffragette Mary A. Nolan's gravesite. "People were greeted at the gates of the cemetery and given pledge cards for the local Democratic party - a practical gesture, yet not one that felt like the call I wanted to respond to most that moment," wrote Masturzo. "It wasn't a moment to sign for next actions in my view but rather for listening, for tending to the layers, intensely complex ones at that, of the journey of women's suffrage in this part of the world." Photo by Emma-Lee Signs (A Selection) Take your broken heart and make it art! / These are not tears. This is the Sea. /Thinking Women Against Trump (TWAT) / RBG, stay alive!/Black Lives Matter (carried by more than Black people) / Cheeto in Chief / My daughter's more afraid of intolerance than cancer / Women are Literally the Best / Grumpy Cat saying "UGH" / So bad, even introverts are here / Build a wall between church and state / Do the Most Good/ Love trumps hate / They tried to bury us but they didn't know we were seeds / Women's rights are human rights (with the W on Women replaced with a pair of breasts) / RESIST / The revolution starts here (with a diagram of a uterus) / Make America Think Again / Did you assume that I'm wearing my dad's (Navy) hat? Or my brother's maybe? Then YOU are the reason I'm here /Less suffering, more grace / #FreeMelania / Can't believe I have to protest this shit forty years later / Toddlers Against Tyranny / Your guns will have no animals left to kill if you don't take care of the environment / [Signs in Russian] / Show us your taxes / (Caricature of a sad Paul Ryan) Paul Ryan Can't Find the Clit / Excerpt of June Jordan's 'Poem About My Rights' / We Shall Overcomb / America Is Already Great / Don't Forget: White Women Voted for Trump / I'd Call Him a Cunt But He Lacks Depth and Warmth / Never Underestimate the Power of a Fag with a Tambourine / Resistance is Fertile! / Lesbian Moms on Fleek. Stay Woke! / Thou Shalt Not Mess with a Woman's Reproductive Rights. Fallopians 1:21 / Hell hath no fury like 157 million women scorned / Viva la vulva / I will NOT go QUIETLY back into the 1950s / Respect existence or expect resistance / If you build a wall, I will grow up and tear it down / History has its eyes on you / Planned Parenthood saved my life / I'm NASTY AF / Bully Culprit / Oh Hell No What Now? I asked the marchers what they will do next. "What won't I do now is the question," wrote Beth Weinstein. "I'm making calls every day to (Senators) McCain and Flake. Today's calls are regarding (Cabinet nominee) Betsy DeVos." Other marchers pledged phone calls and visits to elected, actions encouraged by the Indivisible guide and congressional staff advising constituents on most effective lobbying techniques. "We must call, email, and write our representatives relentlessly," wrote Dawn Tarney Brunner. "So they never forget what the majority wants." "I'm getting involved with the local Democratic organization," wrote Dr. Boxer, "and using my position as a college professor to educate and guide others to effective actions." Laura Miller Tomaselli, a Brooklyn mother, is busier than ever: "Lots of conversations, social media posts, poster parties, fundraising dinners, rallies, picket lines, voter turnout efforts. Lots of listening, lots of comparing notes." But Miller made a point about current political leadership. "The grassroots certainly showed its stuff last Saturday. Now we are waiting for the Democratic Party to do more than send us daily solicitations. Where are they, I wonder? Is there anything left of that billion we raised for Hillary?" All respondents had some kind of action plan, though some marchers were focused more on personal interactions: "I want to be a force of positivity, to be everything Trump is not," wrote Sirin Thada. "To speak from the heart, but with wisdom, clarity, love and respect. To End with a Beginning When Shari Berman shared her story, she wrote of her group's walk from their parked bus to the Washington march site. I thought it was beautiful. Please allow me to end this piece with a beginning: "Our bus parked three miles from the staging area and, to our surprise, the Metro was at capacity. So we decided to walk the three miles - a sea of pink pussy hats making its way through the streets. And for a day that was filled with inspiration, the three-mile journey was perhaps the most inspiring experience of them all. All along the way we were greeted with lawn signs set in front of private homes not promoting a particular candidate or political agenda but instead featuring spiritually-lifting quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King. The DC police and the National Guard were kind, polite, and welcomed us to their city. A few even applauded us. We passed an African American church where several older people were leaving a religious service. They cheered us on and said that they were with us in spirit. We encountered neighbors handing out free water or playing music to spur us on. A beautiful little girl not more than seven years-old dressed in a Disney Princess stood on her porch and waved to us. It was her future we were marching for and we all waved back! All along the way people took a moment out of their day to thank us for being there and I couldn't have been prouder to be American."

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