#Office Cleaning Eastwood

[lizzyverydizzyyo]

D.E.A.N (Division of Extreme and Atypical Neutralization) - Cast Pictures

Fandom : Original Work

Whumptober 2021/2022/2023 Submission

Masterlist and overall summary of the whole novel is here.

Prompt on trope-appreciation-tuesdays that inspired this is here.

D.E.A.N, also known (or, more fittingly, unknown) as Division of Extreme and Atypical Neutralization, is not part of the police, military, Secret Service, or any other defense and tactical agencies openly acknowledged by the government, although it does include expertly trained personnel from almost all of them. Among those personnel is Marcus Hayden, a young and promising graduate of a highly specialized federal agency training, surreptitiously plucked and dropped into the division—only with the knowledge that D.E.A.N agents have full legal immunity to take down whatever national threat is assigned to them in any way they see fit. Following the demise of his mentor, Mark embraces that freedom and privilege to the fullest extent, destroying any and all rigorously-approved target of D.E.A.N. Even the ones with non-threatening appearance, like the young man left behind by D.E.A.N's current target—a criminal syndicate called Helga—when Mark's team raided one of their many hidey holes. But is he doing the right thing? Is that young man really the target he should be focusing on?

I've finally managed to curate an ensemble cast that looks the closest to what I have in mind when writing the story. Of course, there is just no way I can find people exactly like the ones I have in mind when writing the characters because these characters simply just don't exist in real life, so I can't take pictures of them. I also can't do art to save my life so I can't draw/paint them either. I was thinking about using AI like Artbreeder but I'm kind of iffy about any type of AI right now, so this is the best I've got so far.

Also, this is just my vision. If you imagine someone else when you read about any of the characters, that's okay too. It's up to you, really. These "cast" are just my interpretation of how the characters look like.

CHARACTERS TRAITS AND IMAGES

Nikolai/Nick - Whumpee

Tall (6’2”), 21 years old (as of book 1), mixed-raced (Russian-Vietnamese), short black hair, really thin, mix of blue-brown eyes (sectoral heterochromia). Traits: kidnapped victim and traumatized, kind of obedient but has trace of arrogance and defiance that show up randomly. Cast: Ian Sharp Pic 1 Source from Hermès Fall 2015 RTW Menswear Show | Pic 2 Source (but the link is defunct) | Pic 3 Source (Edited to have a mix of blue-brown eyes, closest real-life person to look like Envy from Demon's Haven—courtesy of @whumpwillow which is my original vision of Nikolai)

Marcus/Mark - Whumper turned (probably) romantic caretaker

Tall (6’4”), 23 years old (as of book 1), white, short blond hair, dark blue eyes, muscular build, masculine look. Traits: righteous and impassioned (sometimes also a bit rash). Cast: Scott Eastwood (but younger) | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

Luke - Whumper turned caretaker

Tall (as tall as Mark, give or take), late 20s, former Marines, African-American, medium-length afro hair, muscular but lean build. Traits: firm and wise (probably should be the commanding officer). Cast : Busola Peters | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

Horace - Whumper turned caretaker

Tall (not as tall as Mark though, around 6' to 6'2"), early 40s, Army veteran, Latino, short dark hair, muscular but lean build, clean-shaven. Traits: team's commanding officer, but doesn’t have backbone and a bit of a pushover. Cast: Nicholas Gonzalez | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

Lena - (Not really) whumper turned caretaker

Tall (5'10" to 5'11"), mid-20s, white, non-binary, long brunette hair, brown eyes, muscular but lean build. Traits: very kind and patient but would fuck shit up if pushed. Cast: Ethel Cain | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

Don - Whumper turned (not really) caretaker

Mid-height (±5'9"), mid-40s, Navy veteran, white, bald, stocky muscular build. Traits: ruthless, cynical, and a bitch. P.S. I really can't find anyone who fits my vision when it comes to Don's appearance except that guy from vine on a scooter doing drift to careless whispers.

Anna - Whumper turned (not really) caretaker

Short (kinda, ±5'2"—5'4"), early-30s, Air Force veteran, white, short brown hair, muscular but lean build. Traits: cynical and a bitch too, but righteous. Cast: Claire Foy (with brown eyes) | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

Angie - (Not really) whumper turned caretaker

Mid-height (±5'6"—5'7"), mid-30s, former SWAT, white, short blond hair, a bit "Karen-like" style, muscular build. Traits: impersonal and logical centrist. Cast: Abby from The Last of Us 2 | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source (Edited to look more blond and older). P.S. The mocap actress (Jocelyn Mettler) doesn't look exactly like what I have in mind when it comes to Angie's look, so I keep using the Abby character instead.

Anderson - Whumper turned (kind of) caretaker

Mid-height (±5'9"—5'10"), mid to late-20s, former FBI, Mediterranean, medium-length curly black hair, lean build. Traits: a smartass and confident (almost arrogant) asshole. Cast: Joshua Honecutt | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source (Edited to have darker hair)

George - Non-whumper turned caretaker

Mid-height (±5'9"), early 20s, white, red-haired and freckled, slim build. Traits: quiet/wallflower-y. Cast: Maksymilian Barczak | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source | Modeling Agency Page

Mary - Non-whumper turned caretaker

Mid-height (±5'7"—5'8"), mid-20s, former Air Force, white, feminine pale face, long strawberry-blonde hair, slim build. Traits: quiet/wallflower-y too. Cast: Chloe Grace Moretz | Pic 1 Source | Pic 2 Source

[westusaofprescott-blog]

50 Shades of Marketing For SEO

As we shiver our way through Winter and start looking forward to spring, we start to think about Spring Cleaning and sprucing up the joint. Often times that includes a fresh coat of paint and maybe some new furniture to freshen things up a bit.

Before you go running off to the store to let your inner Martha Stewart run free, take a few minutes to consider if your design plan is going to continue to look fresh and new for years to come, even for the possibility of a future sale. For instance...

Like all home decor trends, paint colors come and go. Gray, beige, black, and white has all had their moments. For the last ten years or so, gray has been the ‘in’ neutral.

Now here we are in 2023 and certain shades of gray paint are going out of style, as are certain shades of gray upholstery, as well as some general gray room design ideas.

Gray is a neutral color, and there are way more than 50 shades of it, so it’s hard to say that overall, a single color is out of style. However, it’s definitely not going to be as popular as it was a few years ago when every new construction home in America was sold with pale, cool-toned gray walls to make it look ‘modern’. But overall, home decor trends are moving in a warmer direction again. Colors like rust, brown, amber, and ivory are taking over, as well as burgundy and some olive colors.

If you’re in love with gray, or you’re looking for a neutral color that isn’t white or tan, choose a warm-toned gray. Warm grays, which are more of greige, are still considered in style, and they complement the warmed-up, more saturated interior design trends we’re seeing right now.

If you’re planning to paint a room gray or buy gray furniture this year, there are a few ways to do it in a way that looks fresh, and not dated.

The first is: Don’t go gray-on-gray. The look that’s most out of style right now is that all-gray everything room design that was a big trend five years ago or so. You know the room: It has silver-gray walls, a silver-gray sofa, a gray-toned rug, mirrored furniture, silver-toned metallics, etc. It’s all very monotone and just a bit, well, sad.

The second is: Choose warm tones. Warm-toned neutrals are the “it” neutral right now and designers are favoring beige, ivory, and taupe over the cool gray and stark white. White paint with depth (ivories, creams, and bone colors) is the new bright white, so a shade of super pale warm gray will look subtle but stylish.

Pairing any of these warm color options with warm wood-toned floors or trim will be sure to make for a stunning transformation that will stand the test of time.

Once you’ve pondered your color choices and have decided on your final answer, head out to your favorite Home Improvement Store and let your inner Interior Decorator shine!

Happy Decorating!

Christine Sirochman at 928-848-8830 or Christine@RockmanHomes.com

To learn more about the Prescott, Arizona real estate market contact Michael Eastwood CEO of West USA Realty of Prescott at 928-636-1500 or visit us at www.westusaofprescott.com  Michael Eastwood will introduce you to one of his professional real estate agents or stop by and visit us at West USA Realty of Prescott 231 N Marina St Prescott. AZ 86301. (Each office is Independently owned and operated) #Prescottrealestate #Prescotthomes #Prescottland #Prescottvalleyrealestate #Prescottvalleyhomes #Prescottvalleyland #Chinovalleyrealestate #Chinovalleyhomes #Chinovalleyland #Arizonarealestate #Arizonahomes #realestate #homes #prescott #chinovalley #Prescottvalley #buyers

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

I Tried Being Reasonable I Didn't Like It T-Shirt

A popular saying by a legendary icon, Clint Eastwood; "I Tried Being Reasonable, I Didn't Like It; Unisex T-shirt. A famous quote made into a funny, humous adult unisex t-shirt.

Just your everyday comfy t-shirt. Get comfortable with our 100% cotton crew neck t-shirts. Made of 100% soft cotton for a smooth, breathable fit. Pre-shrunk cotton tees are perfect for layering or wearing alone. Lightweight fabric keeps you cool and dry so you can look great and feel great all day.

The perfect tee shirt for a modern casual look. Not too long so you can wear these untucked with a pair of jeans or chinos. Looks great under a casual blazer and jeans for a relaxed Friday style. Stylish and versatile everyday crew neck tees are a wardrobe staple.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different light settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

All items are created or designed by Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations. We also print and heat press our items using our professional, commercial grade heat press! Each design is made with High Quality, Heat Transfer Vinyl.

After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

Thank you so much for supporting our "small Granny & Grandpa's Shop", we truly appreciate YOU!

Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop to view more of our creations!

LET’S GET SOCIAL & BE FRIENDS! Like, Tag & Follow us for Our new Creations, Inspiration & Giveaways!

website/ www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop

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#grannygrandpascustomcreations

A popular saying by a legendary icon; "I Tried Being Reasonable, I Didn't Like It; Unisex T-shirt. A famous quote made into a funny, humous adult unisex t-shirt.

Get comfortable with our 100% cotton crew neck t-shirts. Made of 100% soft cotton for a smooth, breathable fit. Pre-shrunk cotton tees are perfect for layering or wearing alone. Lightweight fabric keeps you cool and dry so you can look great and feel great all day. The perfect tee shirt for a modern casual look. Not too long so you can wear these untucked with a pair of jeans or chinos. Looks great under a casual blazer and jeans for a relaxed Friday style. Stylish and versatile everyday crew neck tees are a wardrobe staple.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different light settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

[deltasteamcleaning]

Follow These Tips to Go about Your Office Cleaning

No matter how expensive furniture or carpets you install in your office, keeping them clean is essential. Having a clean office is essential for the overall health and wellness of your employees. It also turns out to be appealing to your clients and anyone who visits your office. If you are too time bound and do not have the effort to strategise your office cleaning, seeking help from professional cleaners will turn out to be a boon in disguise. Here are a few tips that professional cleaners follow when going about office cleaning: 

Declutter: 

All you need is to declutter, and you’re sure to sail through your office cleaning in Homebush. We live in an age where technology means everything, and professional cleaners will use their advanced cleaning techniques to declutter your office. In many instances, we keep hoarding a lot of things in our office that are no longer required, which gives it a cluttered appearance. Try to declutter your office, as this will dramatically cut down dirt and germ accumulation. 

Pay extra attention to the common areas:

Little do people know that opting for office cleaning in Epping will turn out to be a major win-win. The common areas of your office are the most used places by the employees and other staff members. You need to pay extra attention to these high-traffic areas and clean them on a regular basis. Try to hire professional cleaners, as they will maintain a customised cleaning schedule to keep your office top-notch.

Pay heed to floor cleaning:

All you need is to hire professional cleaners, and you’re sure to get sail through your office cleaning in Eastwood. Whether you have carpeted floors or normal tiled ones, keeping them clean should be your top most priority. Having clean floors is one of the best ways to keep your office clean. 

Do not forget the nooks and corners:

The professionals offer spick-and-span office cleaning in Ryde. Many hard-to-reach places in your office require professional undertaking. You will not like your potential clients to see hanging cobwebs here and there, so use adequate cleaning supplies to keep your office’s nooks and corners clean. 

Seek help from professional cleaners:

Hiring a cleaning company is essential as professional cleaners are committed to their cleaning services. They are the best ones to handle the cleaning job for you. They will use their customised cleaning plans and advanced cleaning solutions to give you spotlessly clean office space. 

[twistedtummies2]

Good & Evil - Anti-Heroes

Welcome to Good & Evil: A Study of Heroes & Villains. I’m discussing different forms of heroic and villainous characters, different types of protagonists and antagonists, and providing examples of them each from various sources. Today, we’re discussing one of the more popular and well-known types of characters; one that straddles the fine line between good and evil. Today’s topic is…Anti-Heroes. Anti-Heroes are TYPICALLY described as protagonistic characters who basically do heroic things, but have many villainous traits, qualities, or methods. However, not ALL anti-heroes actually ARE protagonistic: they can be antagonists, too. This, I think, is where the confusion leads with people mistaking other kinds of characters as anti-heroes, or vice-versa. Like with nearly all these categories, it’s a fine line between what makes an anti-hero and what makes some other sorts, and it’s honestly not uncommon for characters to flip-flop between different roles. Ultimately, what establishes the anti-hero and separates them from others can be stated as this: they are usually characters doing ostensibly good things, but in an ostensibly bad way.

Perhaps the quintessential anti-hero in movies is the title character of “Dirty Harry,” played by Clint Eastwood. Harry, at the start of the movie, is a police officer, and his great mission in the film is to capture a notorious serial killer. Neither of these are bad things, but what makes Harry the anti-hero is the extreme lengths he’ll go to in order to fulfill his job. In fact, his methods - which include physical torture - end up causing the killer to get out jail Scott Free, which inevitably causes Harry to resort to even more drastic measures to ensure his nemesis won’t walk the streets free to kill again. Right from the word go, Harry is shown to be a man with flaws and vices, and we only see more of them as the story goes on…but never once does he go so far as to become the villain of the story, himself. Still, we recognize he’s no hero. It’s not simply that he’s rude and crass, it’s that he’ll resort to methods that are not only illegal, but unethical. However, you can’t say the people he goes after don’t have it coming to them.

Another great example of the anti-hero in movies, and one of the most popular and long-lasting, is James Bond. 007 seems to straddle the line between an anti-hero and a simple flawed hero constantly, but I think the balance tips closer to the former than the latter. Bond, on the surface, isn’t doing anything ESPECIALLY wrong: considering he’s working for his government, and his targets include world conquerors and destroyers, not to mention political traitors, master thieves, skilled assassins, and enemy spies…yeah, he’s not necessarily doing anything that would be seen as bad. But it’s the methods Bond uses, combined with his attitude, that makes him less squeaky-clean. Bond is a drinker, a chauvenist, and liberal with his Licence to Kill. While Bond’s attitude towards civilians and innocents seems to shift depending on who is playing him, various incarnations have shown him to be exceptionally ruthless in his work. We cheer Bond on because he has the heroic qualities we seek, but we also recognize he’s highly imperfect.

One of the most recent examples I’ve fallen in love with is actually a reimagining of one of the greatest villains in English literature: Professor Moriarty in “Moriarty the Patriot.” This anime/manga series reinterprets the Napoleon of Crime, Sherlock Holmes’ arch-enemy, as a violent anti-hero who uses crime as a means to achieving a better world. He has no God complex to him, no desires to control or command; in fact, his grand plan ultimately includes his own self-destruction, and this has been intended for a long time. However, while the ends themselves are noble and good, and his sense of self-sacrifice is noteworthy, Moriarty himself is fully aware of the fact he’s NOT the good guy in his own story. He takes great pleasure in the crimes he commits, which involve NUMEROUS murders, and there are noticeable emotional disconnects between him and the world. He doesn’t seem to fully grasp the concept of friendship, and sees most people as pawns in his grand chess game, or puppets for him to manipulate. His reasons for wanting to sacrifice himself, it later turns out, aren’t as noble or as simple as one would expect, either. His goals are heroic, and he never strays into being a villain protagonist by falling too far from grace…but how much one should condone his actions is a constant question.

In direct contrast, one of the oldest and more obscure anti-heroes in fiction, and another personal favorite of mine, is The Shadow. Originating in the golden days of radio and pulp magazines, and surviving into the modern day largely through comics (along with a few cinematic treatments, most of which are terrible), The Shadow is considered the father of the modern day superhero. He is the inspiration for characters like Batman, The Punisher, and more Alan Moore protagonists than you can shake a stick at. An expert on the Shadow (who shall remain nameless) has repeatedly stated that the character is NOT an anti-hero, once even referring to him as, if I recall correctly, “the most white hat objectivist hero there is.” I must respectfully disagree: an “Objectivist Hero” does not necessarily a pure and good Hero archetype make, for a start. And while it’s true the Shadow’s morality and methods within his own world are rarely questioned - at least in the early days of the character’s history - the Shadow HIMSELF fits the definition of the anti-hero perfectly. The Shadow is essentially a spirit of vengeance, who fights fire with fire: he tackles crime with crime, visits evil upon evil, sadistically and delightedly slaughtering his opponents. He not only does this through means of simply shooting them or physically breaking them, either, but will use psychological and even emotional warfare to ensure his enemies are felled. He pulls no punches, takes few chances, and the methods he uses to achieve his war on crime - mixed with his own checkered past - ultimately land him squarely in this area. The Shadow is the villain OF villains; to me, that sounds very much like an anti-hero.

Speaking of comic book characters, and to round this whole thing off…when I started this analysis off, I mentioned that anti-heroes are tricky to classify partially because, while they’re TYPICALLY protagonistic figures, they CAN be antagonistic characters as well. This is usually because their methods or philosophies will, at times, clash with characters who are more pure-hearted (or, on rare occasions, because the protagonist is a villain protagonist, and the anti-hero antagonist is simply a little LESS evil). Usually, you can tell an anti-hero antagonist from other types of antagonists because they will usually side with the hero in the end, or even repeatedly, and because they will flip-flop between the two perspectives. This is most common in comic books, and I would argue the definitive example of this is DC’s Lobo. Lobo is a pretty nasty piece of work: he’s an intergalactic bounty hunter with a style and sensibility that is basically that of a stereotypical biker thug. He smokes, he drinks, he behaves outlandishly and crassly, and his morality mostly seems to center on what suits him most in the given situation. He has few friends and many foes. While Lobo has clashed with Superman and other DC heroes on many occasions, he has also been depicted as the star of his own series and taken other protagonistic roles. The reason for this is because, while Lobo is ultimately a slobbish creep, he does have his soft spots buried deep down, and he can be persuaded to do what’s right or good (though he won’t always do so for the best reasons). His morality is incredibly skewed, but even when he’s depicted as an antagonist, he’s never a straight up villain.

What do anti-heroes represent to readers and audiences? Well, that honestly depends on what the story they’re involved in is trying to get across. However, if there is a common theme with anti-heroes, it is the balance between the ends and the means, and how one can or cannot justify the other. Anti-Heroes do good things, but they don’t always do them in good ways or for good reasons. They typically seem to tell audiences that, sometimes, drastic measures have to be taken. As much as many of us like to idealize that good will be rewarded, evil will be punished, and there will be no complications between the two, life usually isn’t that easy: history has shown that many of the best things to happen in the world happened because of questionable decisions. As our societies constantly struggle with finding the border between what we want to have and what we must do to achieve it, anti-heroes represent most clearly that constant struggle. There’s a reason so many of these characters are crime-stoppers, because they most easily allow us to explore the dichotomy between what is just and good, and what is necessary. The same can be said for other types of characters…but that’s another story.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 28 February 1835

8 20

12 ¾

no kiss  fine morning F41° at 9 10 - frosty - sun shining - had Turner for stone post and told Pickells where to put gin pit stuff - he began moving it this morning - Breakfast at 9 ½ - had Washington - brought the plan of the Northgate estate - amount of [towns’] assessment of my Mytholm farm, and the land at Northgate - paid him the money to pay Miss Jenkinson 2 bills one to A- the other to myself for horses to church etc. Mr Jubb came between 10 and 11 - saw my aunt and then did up my wrist again - to keep this plaster compress and bandage on for a week or 10 days longer and then all will be well - longish talk on politics - ministers beaten in the commons - the amendment to the address (on the king’s speech) carried -a gentleman (barrister) come down from London and Mr Bateman scrutinizing Mr Wortley’s votes and those of the other MP and Mr Protheroe - they say Mr W- is safe - Messrs. Akroyd Kirshaw and Briggs have given security for paying the expense - I spoke again and more clearly than ever before that the soi-disant aristocracy of the town had not borne its honours meekly - foolish to offend such people as the Haighs etc  the H-s an old family (of Green Royde) gone down in the present old George’s grand-father’s time - they ought to be conciliated and with more right than many - older settlers than Rawsons, Edwards etc the Walkers of Crownest among the oldest of the now oldest – i.e. of about 2 centuries - Mr Jubb said my own family was the only old one here -  I named the Hortons, but took the palm of the antiquity offered tho’ spoke with conciliatory consideration towards all newer settles whose property and respectability gave them claims on the town - Mr J- said he was flattered to find my so coincide with his own - again mentioned Mr Henry Priestley as a proper person for one other blue MP- another time - then (Mr J- went at 11 20/60)  ½ hour talking to A- wrote the above of today and off to Halifax at 12 20 - and back at 2 ¼ - went and returned by the old bank - Mr Parker and Mr Adam out - went to Russell’s (late Eastwood) and left my Maclean watch to be cleaned - to be done this day week - then to Walton’s, the sadler - a staunch blue - most of his whig customers have left him - they act on the exclusive dealing system whatever they may say - then a moment at Whitley’s - Philip’s treatise on the vital functions to come next week - then to Greenwood’s - thinks the timber (at £71.1.0) valued high but agreed to take it at that (for he is fast for a little sycamore) and pay for it in November - said I would not be hard with him about that for that if I built at Northgate I might make some arrangement - that [right] both him and myself - will only take down a tree or 2 now - the rest to stand till next spring - not longer - he is to farm the land for me - said there was therefore nothing to be said about rent, for I kept the land in my own hands merely letting G- take the crop and manage for me - then to Mr Parker’s office - nothing farthing from or in the name of Mr Jeremiah Dyson respecting the trespass the other way in hunting (Wednesday 11th February) but Mr Carr has settled the matter by paying for Mr Parker’s letter  3/6 and 2nd toll for passing thro’ the gate - said Mr Jeremiah Dyson must make a

 SH:7/ML/E/17/0173

 gentlemanly apology for the trespass, not commit another such and pay for Mr Parker’s letter and the toll for passing thro’ the gate, or Mr P- must commence an action against him - home at 2 ¼ in 12 minutes from Mr Parker’s office --a little while talking to Charles H- then talking to A- till she and I off at 3 to Cliff Hill - 1 ¼ hour there - Mrs AW very civil and glad to see us - home at 5 55 - settled with Pickells and Charles H-  - dinner at 6 ¾ -coffee - Marian came to us for a little while - read the Halifax Guardian of this morning and skimmed yesterday’s morning Herald and wrote the last 18 lines till 9 55 then 20 minutes with my aunt till 10 ¼ at which hour F42° very fine - but cold and frosty

[stone-man-warrior]

June 21, 2020: 2:56 pm:

Upon stepping outside to have a listen to what the neighborhood would say a few times today, I was about to simply make a report here that there was an absence, a vacuum, of sounds to hear. Then, I saw him, standing there, about one-hundred-fifty feet away, seemingly had come from nowhere, a man dressed in an auto mechanics blue jumpsuit, wearing an orange mask covering his whole face, carrying a green pale, and walking around slowly in the nearby woods at the Chapman terror cell. It looked as if the man was hunting for Easter Eggs to me. It’s all part of the show. Activity at Chapman’s terror cell is directed from the Josephine County Courts. The presence of the man with green pale wondering in the woods, appears to be in relation to my last entry here last night, about Eastwood Guitars, and the connection to Britain Parliament and Royal Family. What I did not mention in that post was that there is a direct link to the Eastwood Guitars Command Center at a place called Hugo Hitching Post, about one and one half miles from where I am now, near the corner of Hugo Road and Three Pines Road. Hard core terror is there, and that is all connected to the Josephine County Courts. Eastwood has another website called “Myrareguitars.com” where contact can be made with Eastwood, and the Chapman terror cell, is the contact that answers the correspondence made at “Myrareguitars.com”. Although it’s not clear if the Chapman terror cell actually answers written communication through that portal, the Chapman terror cell does make in person contact to those who use the “Myrareguitars.com” website. At the website, on the “Contact Us” feature, the words “Do Some Tradin’?” will usually get you in touch with Canadian terror command. The man in the blue jumpsuit and with green pale had short white hair, was accompanied by the sound of a high revving engine sound coming from the Strong terror cell, next to Chapman’s on Russell. Other than that high revving engine sound, there have been no other sounds to hear, other than a dog barking for a short time at Monroe’s, and some distant roosters. No traffic noises, no people talking, no lawn mowers, chainsaws or weed-eaters, a vacuum of sounds on a fine, sunny and warm Sunday afternoon, is all that is there to hear.

That high revving engine sound could have been a terror soldier launching away. The sound was similar to a small two-stroke motorcycle engine, in brief periodic acceleration, then the sound was coming from farther away, near Bad Guy Auto, then was heard again in front of the Chapman terror cell. The motorcycle sound, was that of an aggressive acceleration, but there was no indication that any gears were used. That is why I feel it possible it could have been a launching terror soldier. The sound of a launching terror soldier is within the realm of different kinds of internal combustion engines. The sound of a weedeater, or airplane, motorcyle, or lawnmower, is identical to sounds made by terror soldiers when their Nitrous Oxide tanks are ignited. The Nitrous tanks are pressurized, so, when they are ignited, that produces a violent exhaust, same as a rocket engine, and the sound of jet motors, large or small, is also within the realm of sounds made by ignited Nitrous Oxide tanks. ============================== After some time of putting a lot of thought into the events that took place here at my home on Monday, when those eight deputies came to arrest me, I am confident to say that one of the arresting deputies was the same man who was here at my home many years ago, sat on a tree stump, while a Pacific Power Lineman cut two fingers off of an apprentice lineman. I told that story a few days ago, so, that information, and all of the information on this account is directed at National Security personnel. The man was white, about 55 years old, clean shaven, about 6′1, light hair color, and was the one that did most of the talking, if there is audio, he is the man who said he has been to my home many times for a variety of bullshit that he was making up as the arrest was made. Also at the time of the arrest, the door was kicked in, there were two screws on the ground from the strike plate. One deputy made mention that he was going to take the two brass screws, to give them to “Robert” later. Anther thing that was done, was a marker was placed in my house, for someone else to find, perhaps as a contact signal. It was a red lighter placed under a rug. I have seen similar communication means done when other police activity occurred at my home in the past, simply placing something, always a “red” item, and typically a red guitar pick placed beneath a rug, is the communication means I have seen before, when used by impostor police at my home.

Small details matter. But the big ones are far more important. That is why I want to advise that today on Twitter, there is stories about a Federal Attorney, Mr. Berman, works for William Barr, and is said to have received a letter from Mr. Barr suggesting that Mr. Barr, has recommended to the President, Donald Trump, that the federal attorney be fired, by Trump. I want to advise that whatever the underlying truth of the story is, I suspect, is being told my news media, in such a way, as to bend, and twist the details of the story to make communication about local, Josephine County Oregon District Attorneys, who are in danger of a possible hit order, made by many individuals, including Donald Trump. It’s complicated, caution is advised in the Josephine County Courts, for any one who might need to go there, and special caution is advised to the District Attorney’s Office. End terror report: 3:50 pm.

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, January 25

Cover: Secret Dawn Wells took to the grave: her affair with Bob Denver of Gilligan’s Island 

Page 2: Best and Worst Celeb Tippers -- Katherine Heigl, Amy Schumer, Drew Barrymore, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Madonna, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z 

Page 3: Charlie Sheen, Ben Affleck, Sean Penn, Sharon Stone, Naomi Campbell, Mark Zuckerberg, Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg took the 2020 Tip Challenge 

Page 4: Goldie Hawn’s movie roles 

Page 6: Melissa Gilbert who played Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie says if there’s one piece of unfinished business that emerged from the show it’s that she’d like to punch former co-star Shannen Doherty -- Shannen was only 12 when she joined the Little House cast for the show’s ninth and final season playing Jenny Wilder but in a couples therapy session with her first husband Bo Brinkman it came out that Shannen at 22 had bagged Bo in bed 

Page 7: Country star Dolly Parton may be 75 year old but that doesn’t stop her from leaping out of bed at 3 a.m. every morning -- she’s a very very very early riser and she goes to bed pretty early but she’s up and down

* Tom Hanks has been in countless movies and TV shows but his most important role in life has been as a father of four and he has tips for how to do it right 

Page 8: If you’ve soured on feeding canned dog food to your precious pooch you’re not alone -- plenty of owners are switching over to healthy people-food diets for their pets but it’s essential to get guidance from your veterinarian 

Page 9: Most of your kitty’s diet should be a nutritionally complete cat food but you can give them a treat from your plate every once in a while -- you just need to know how to choose feline-friendly snacks with nutrients they need and which they should NEVER eat -- check with your veterinarian 

* Why animals creep into our dreams -- we all dream about animals from time to time and here are some of the most common creatures of our nights and what they could be trying to tell us 

Page 10: On his 21st birthday Matt Goodman raised a glass to his late father who had left behind the money to buy his son’s first beer 

Page 11: Your Health -- the stark truth is that sleeping naked is good for you 

Page 12: Top Guns -- these Hollywood stars were fastest on the draw -- James Garner, Henry Fonda, Eli Wallach, Burt Lancaster, Roy Rogers 

Page 13: Kevin Costner, Yul Brynner, Gary Cooper, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne 

Page 14: Dear Tony, America’s Top Psychic Healer -- a lesson from COVID-19 which is work on mentally healing ourselves, Tony predicts Miley Cyrus will struggle to overcome many of her self-destructive habits, finding strength through religion and she will be back on the hit parade come summer 

Page 15: If you and your partner fight a lot here’s a great idea to grasp: holding each other’s hand is the key to better conflict resolution 

Page 16: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton might be royals but they’re raising their children just like any other parents and family is their first priority and Will and Kate are rarely apart from their three kids Prince George and Prince Charlotte and Prince Louis 

Page 18: Maggie the shelter stray was twice unlucky when two potential forever homes kicked her to the curb but now she’s found her true calling as a beloved K-9 officer 

Page 19: A homeless man in Atlanta put his life on the line to rescue every single cat and dog from a blazing inferno at an animal shelter 

Page 20: Cover Story -- a three-hour tour that turned into a three-season laugh-fest on Gilligan’s Island made Dawn Wells a star and she took the show’s juiciest secrets to her grave including a red-hot affair with co-star Bob Denver -- Dawn who died of complications related to COVID-19 at age 82 hid a crazy sexy side which she kept under wraps because it was the exact opposite of the squeaky-clean image se presented to the world as farm girl Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island 

Page 22: This Michigan teen is a top Elvis Presley impersonator even performing in Las Vegas and the only one with Down syndrome 

Page 24: Texas firefighters were hailed as heroes after they rescued a four-year-old boy who had fallen down a well 

Page 25: Here’s the dirt on soil-free gardening 

Page 26: Nice Work If You Can Get It -- celebs shell out stupid money for stupid jobs -- Rod Stewart travels with a room-darkening team, Lady Gaga hates to sleep alone and her personal assistant had to get in bed with her on nights when Gaga was solo, Larry Ellison likes to play basketball on his yacht and employs a person who job it is to circle it in a boat and retrieve stray balls from the ocean, Mariah Carey has a woman who stands beside her at all times holding a drink, Snoop Dogg pays a professional blunts roller, Prince Charles has a personal dresser, Justin Bieber’s entourage includes someone to hold his drink and another to hold his slice of pizza, Sean Combs has an assistant whose only job is to carry around an umbrella for him 

Page 28: Burt Lancaster was one of Hollywood’s biggest stars acting in more than 70 movies during a four-decade-long career but he was also a silly practical joker says his daughter Joanna Lancaster one of the actor’s five children 

Page 30: Legendary actress and dancer Ann-Marget will be 80 years old in April but she’s still stepping out and making movies -- you’re not dead when you reach a certain age said the star who shot to fame when she famously dated Elvis Presley when they made Viva Las Vegas in 1964 

* Candice Bergen running wild and free at age 74 -- she recently became a first-time grandmother and is selling her hand-designed merchandise online 

* What is Marie Osmond doing during the pandemic? She bought a Harley motorcycle and so did her husband Steve and they love to go riding together -- the twosome also take walks and see their kids and grandkids and stay busy and have fun 

Page 42: All Washed Up -- surprising facts about bathing and showering 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Ellen DeGeneres goes for a spin in California (picture), Chrissy Teigen and John Legend take their kids Luna and Miles to watch planes make the tricky landing at St. Barts’ airport (picture), Joan Collins claims she once gave Bobby Kennedy the brush off because neither of them was single at the time, George Clooney can’t bear the thought of his early film Grizzly II seeing the light of day but it is set to be released later this year, Barry Gibb the last living member of The Bee Gees says life was incredibly hard after losing his brothers and bandmates Robin Gibb and Maurice Gibb who died in 2012 and 2003, Ray Liotta and Jacy Nittolo engaged, Bob Seger paid tribute to saxophonist Alto Reed a longtime member of his Silver Bullet Band who lost his life to colon cancer 

Page 45: Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla show off their walking sticks outside their home at Birkhall in Scotland (picture), Tori Spelling gets some puppy love from one of their pet pooches in L.A. with help from hubby Dean McDermott (picture), Megan Fox has moved on with Machine Gun Kelly and her estranged husband Brian Austin Green isn’t moping solo -- he vacationed in Hawaii with Sharna Burgess of Dancing with the Stars, British photographer David Bailey is dishing on his storied career in his memoir -- he claims sloshed Elizabeth Taylor tried to swipe his camera and his first impression of ex-wife Catherine Deneuve was that she was short and a bit on the fat side, Phyllis McGuire who shared the stage with her late siblings Dorothy and Ruby as the McGuire Sisters died in her lavish Las Vegas home -- she found fame through her voice and infamy through her relationship with Sin City mobster Sam Giancana 

Page 46: Good-hearted sheriff’s deputies surprised a woman with a vehicle after they kept getting calls about her walking along the highway in the freezing cold each morning 

Page 47: These UN Ambassadors use star power to help -- Emma Watson, Danny Glover, Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Antonio Banderas, Whoopi Goldberg, Susan Sarandon, Liam Neeson, Laurence Fishburne, Mia Farrow, Katy Perry, Alyssa Milano 

[daleisgreat]

The Punisher (1989): Unrated Cut

This has been one I have been meaning to be covering for a few years now. Longtime readers here may remember my friend Matt I reference semi-occasionally when I review one of his gag gift movies here. Every now and then though he will legit surprise with me with an awesome movie gift as with today’s example. Matt knows I am a huge fan of the comic book character, The Punisher, and that all three of the live action Punisher movies are guilty pleasures of mine. Up until a few years ago I already owned both the Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson Punisher films on BluRay, but the original 1989 Punisher movie I only owned a bare bones DVD release that I thought was the only home video version of that film. Matt surprised me a few years back by tracking down an international release of an unrated director’s cut of The Punisher on BluRay. Turns out in North America, right on the precipice of the film’s released it got traded studios as its original studio was in the process of being acquired. Turns out the new studio was not confident in the drawing power of Dolph Lungdren anymore so the 1989 Punisher film was among the first wave of movies to hit the straight-to-video market. Internationally, The Punisher received theatrical releases, and performed well, which is why it landed an international BluRay release. Thank goodness my BluRay player recognizes international regions, but my only nitpick with it is the lack of subtitles. So this version of the film on BluRay is the ‘Unrated Cut’ which is how the director, Mark Goldblatt, originally envisioned the film. The 80s were the era of the gratuitously violent action blockbusters with the likes of Rambo, Robocop, Commando, Terminator and countless others dominating the box office. The Punisher was shot for that demographic, and Goldblatt stated in the commentary how he had to take the film to the MPAA nine times before toning down the movie enough to earn an ‘R’ rating.

The film wastes no time with a lengthy origin story as it kicks off with a gang leader being acquitted of all charges for murdering Frank Castle (Dolph Lungdren) and his family five years prior. A news reporter recommends the gang to be on the lookout for ‘The Punisher’ vigilante, which the gang laughs off the journalist’s warnings, only for the gang to instantly meet their demise mere minutes after arriving home from court. The Yakuza arrive in town to capitalize on The Punisher’s fallout, with Yakuza leader Lady Tanaka (Kim Miyori) forcing replacement gang leader Dino Moretti (Bryan Marshall) to partner up with her after kidnapping the children of Moretti and his allies. Trying to keep tabs on this whole mess of a situation is the ‘Punisher Task Force’ consisting of Frank Castle’s former partner, Jake Berkowitz (Louis Gossett Jr.), and fellow detective Sam Leary (Nancy Everhard). Following all this setup, The Punisher is essentially 1980s action film 101, with Castle tearing it up against the Yakuza in a couple of entertaining shootouts in a casino and later on in a funhouse, complete with Yakuza members firing away at Frank while breezing down a curvy slide. Completing the over-the-top 80s action formula is the cheesy one-liners, with my favorite featuring Berkowitz grilling Frank on his vigilante warfare, “What do you call 125 murders in five years?” to which Castle dryly retorts, “Work-in-Progress.” Eventually everything comes to a head when Punisher and Moretti team up to rescue Moretti’s kid in the Yakuza stronghold, where the most intense fighting sequences emanate from in the entire film. The unrated cut pulls no punches, with the most gruesome fatalities transpiring as Castle and Moretti work their way to the final confrontation with Lada Tanaka.

When I re-watched the film with audio commentary from Mark Goldblatt he made sure to pinpoint which parts he added back in as he originally envisioned for this unrated version, and how he stands behind this version being the definitive cut of the film. Other interesting tidbits from the commentary was how the film wound up being shot in Australia, regrets of not having the Punisher’s trademark skull icon on his shirt in the film and informing in-depth on the film trading studios and going direct-to-video in America. Goldblatt also mentions in the commentary how there is a workprint cut of the film, which he stated he does not stand behind since it was cut before the core movie finished filming. Said workprint cut is included as a bonus feature, and is actually eight minutes longer than the unrated cut. The main takeaway I had with the workprint cut is it has a whole new 17 minute opening on the origin of The Punisher that happens five years earlier where it shows Castle and Berkowitz making a bust on a routine stakeout that clues the gangsters in to Frank’s family location where they ultimately make a hit on Frank’s family. That whole 17 minutes is briefly alluded to in the unrated cut in the form of a five second flashback of the family’s demise. This prologue adds a whole new dynamic to the film, but I can see why Goldblatt wanted it cut since it brings a snappier pace to the overall film. Also worth mentioning is that the workprint is presented in its original adapted 35mm form, and how the editors did a commendable job cleaning it up for the HD version on the BluRay.

Other extra features is a 21 minute interview with Mark Goldblatt. If you do not have time to invest into the commentary track, then this interview is a recommended alternative as it hits most of the same beats and goes into Mark’s other Hollywood successes. Also included is a quick five minute interview with Dolph Lungdren where he has fond memories working with the stuntmen in the fight sequences and wishes the movie would have had a theatrical run in America. For those who are fans of reverse box art, I recommend taking advantage of that here, as this BluRay’s alternative artwork is pretty remarkable. Rounding off the BluRay is a gag reel…..which would not load on my BluRay player, so that will have to be my loss. The Punisher: Unrated Cut BluRay was a surprise hit gift from Matt! I will stand behind Goldblatt by safely assuring his unrated cut here is the must-see version of the film. A solid slate of extra features only helps makes this BluRay the definitive home video edition of this movie. If you dig the over-the-top action films of the 80s, then odds are this 1989 take on The Punisher will be right up your alley. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[47burlm]

“I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking “did he fire six shots or only five?” Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a.44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow you head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”

May 31, 1930

Best known to his many fans for one of his most memorable screen incarnations–San Francisco Police Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan–the actor and Oscar-winning filmmaker Clint Eastwood is born on May 30, 1930, in San Francisco, California.

With his father, Eastwood wandered the West Coast as a boy during the Depression. Then, after four years in the Army Special Services, Eastwood went to Hollywood, where he got his start in a string of B-movies. For eight years, Eastwood played Rowdy Yates in the popular TV Western series Rawhide, before emerging as a leading man in a string of low-budget “spaghetti” Westerns directed by Sergio Leone: Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965) and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966). All three were successful, but Eastwood made his real breakthrough with 1971’s smash hit Dirty Harry, directed by Don Siegel. Though he was not the first choice to play the film’s title role–Frank Sinatra, Steve McQueen and Paul Newman all reportedly declined the part–Eastwood made it his own, turning the blunt, cynical Dirty Harry into an iconic figure in American film.

Also in 1971, Eastwood moved behind the camera, making his directorial debut with the thriller Play Misty for Me, the first offering from his production company, Malpaso. Over the next two decades, he turned in solid performances in films such as The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976), Every Which Way But Loose (1978), Escape From Alcatraz (1979) and Honkytonk Man (1982), but seemed to be losing his star power for lack of a truly great film. By the end of the 1980s, after four Dirty Harry sequels, released from 1973 to 1988, Eastwood was poised to escape the character’s shadow and emerge as one of Hollywood’s most successful actor-turned-directors. In 1992, he hit the jackpot when he starred in, directed and produced the darkly unconventional Western Unforgiven. The film won four Oscars, including Best Supporting Actor (Gene Hackman), Best Film Editing, Best Director and Best Picture, both for Eastwood. He also found box-office success as a late-in-life action and romantic hero, in In the Line of Fire (1993) and The Bridges of Madison County (1995), respectively.

As a director, Eastwood worked steadily over the next decade, making such films as Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997), Absolute Power (1997) and, most notably, the crime drama Mystic River (2003), for which he was again nominated for the Best Director Oscar. The following year, he hit a grand slam with Million Dollar Baby, in which he also starred as the curmudgeonly coach of a determined young female boxer (Hilary Swank, in her second Oscar-winning performance). In addition to Swank’s Academy Award for Best Actress, the film won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor (Morgan Freeman) and Eastwood’s second set of statuettes for Best Director and Best Picture.

In 2006, Eastwood became only the 31st filmmaker in 70 years to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Directors Guild of America (DGA). That year, he directed a pair of World War II-themed movies, Flags of Our Fathers (2006) and Letters from Iwo Jima (2006). The latter film, which featured an almost exclusively Japanese cast, earned an Oscar nomination for Best Picture and a fourth Best Director nomination for Eastwood.

Off-screen, Eastwood has pursued an interest in politics, serving as mayor of Carmel, California, from 1986 to 1988. He was married to Maggie Johnson in 1953, and the couple had two children, Kyle and Alison (who co-starred in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil), before separating in 1978 and divorcing in 1984. Eastwood also had long-term relationships with the actresses Sondra Locke and Frances Fisher (with whom he had a daughter, Francesca). He married his second wife, Dina Ruiz Eastwood, in 1996. Their daughter, Morgan, was born that same year.

His more recent films include J. Edgar (2011), American Sniper (2014), Sully (2016), The Mule (2018) and Richard Jewell (2019).

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #159

WHAT THIS?

A Milhouse Divided Season 8 - Episode 6 | December 1, 1996

This is the one where Milhouse’s mom finally divorces future Milhouse and he fucking dies. The Simpsons have a fancy dress dinner party and the Van Houtens scream at each other there. Then Milhouse gets sent to hell. The end of the episode is about Homer remarrying Marge because their wedding wasn’t so hot. It includes a flashback to their wedding as seen in season 2, with an extra scene added, I think. I’ve always been curious to see something where people put the flashbacks of The Simpsons family in chronological order, but I would never wanna actually do it myself. It would be a mess when you factor in later-day flashbacks that take place in completely different decades.

I think people remember this episode fondly because relatively large events happen that impact the rest of the show. Milhouse’s parents stay divorced for a while, and they seem to get back together and break up fairly frequently these days. Homer and Marge’s recommitment ceremony is literally a second marriage because Homer decided to get an actual divorce beforehand. The validity of this marriage is a plot point in season 20′s “Wedding for Disaster“. This is EXACTLY what happened to the parents on Step By Step, but nobody wants to listen when I tell them this. People always just start hitting me.

THE B-SODE:

South Park: “Clubhouses” Season 2 - Episode 12 | September 23, 1998 Stan’s parents get a divorce, causing Sharon (Stan’s mom) to begin a relationship with a shitty dickhead who is constantly screaming at Stan to chop firewood. I’ve never had my parents divorce, for some reason, so I only have secondhand experience with this, but it’s fairly hilarious skewering of a certain type of liberal guy who is willing to date a woman with kids but then turns out to be an actual dickhead about it. Like, a dude that thinks it’s correct of him to be willing to date a woman with children but not actually being able to handle it. Makes me think of the times I went to a friend’s house where a similar situation was going on and observing the new boyfriend treating my friend like shit for literally no reason. One time I went to my friend Chad’s house and his “new dad” forbade him from watching TGIF with the rest of the family for reasons that were completely unclear to me. This meant that *I* wasn’t allowed to watch TGIF, either, because I was his guest. I did this impression that I think was a Jim Carrey bit, where it was Clint Eastwood but you yank some fat from your neck down so it forms an elongated adams apple, because he’s old you see, and it made Chad laugh really hard and the guy yelled at him for laughing too much. So he basically sent us out to go on a bike ride. We rode to a nearby walking trail and there were a few bikes parked outside the entrance. Chad picked the bikes up and tossed them into a ditch nearby. I thought it was so funny. Then some people appeared in the distance and Chad  was like “these are probably their bikes, wait here”. I was terrified of getting in trouble, but Chad urged me to keep cool. When they got close to us, Chad asked them, innocently, “are those your bikes?” which they were, prompting Chad  to tell some buillshit story about how some mean kids came and threw them in the ditch. He told them this while watching them fish the bikes out themselves, offering no help. They thanked Chad for being such a stand-up guy. Later that night, when were banished to Chad’s bedroom, Chad told me he had porn magazines but he couldn’t find them, so we spent the entire night cleaning his room. Then he gleefully admitted that he didn’t have any porn, he just wanted help cleaning his room. I thought he ruled, honestly. Anyway, Chad’s new dad medicated the shit out of him and he turned into a bitter jerk. He would hang out with us and just tell us constantly that we sucked and why. We thought it was funny and maybe he was going through a weird phase or something. We eventually drifted apart from him. The last interaction I had with him was post high school, when he sold me his top-loading NES for what turned out to be a major bargain. His bedroom, which was previously filled with kid garbage to the point where you couldn’t see the floor, was now completely bare except for a bed and a weight bench. He kept apologizing for not having a shirt on. When he grew up he lost weight and became a finance bro, running some sketchy finance company in our shitty home town. They installed a stripper pole in their office. Now he’s a real estate agent and sells mold-riddled houses to unsuspecting people. Anyway,  I don’t remember liking this episode that much at the time and I still consider it to be fairly (Cartman impression) weak. [NOTE: Chad is a fake name. I mention this in case this somehow connects to a different person and they wanna sue me. SO SUE ME!]

[krumbine]

Explorers of the Unknown vs the Last Gift Shop on the Left

A mysterious gift shop appears overnight in a city known for weird, paranormal, and sometimes apocalyptic activities.

But it's probably no big deal.

It's just a gift shop.

Probably.

###

By all accounts, Greenville was a weird place.

For starters, the weather was always perfect. Mid-70s, optimistically sunny, and always a gentle breeze no matter how isolated you might have thought you were from the breeze. On its face, this might not seem very weird, but if you found yourself alone in a dark alley, a ray of that weirdly optimistic sun illuminating a sickly green hyper-intelligent blob of undulating goop the relative size of a commercial refrigerator, and all of your clothes suddenly decided to leap two feet to your left through a process of molecular destabilization and general telekinetic absurdity courtesy of the sickly green hyper-intelligent blob of undulating goop … trust me when I say that a gentle breeze across your exposed rear in the middle of an otherwise walled-off alley would be inarguably weird.

In the annals of Greenville weirdness, a Tyrannosaurus Rex rampaged through the suburbs, a morose zombie who couldn’t stand being undead was the key to undoing an apocalypse, a local library was infested with vampires, irrationally malevolent mole men from Mars chose a local office building basement as the teleportation entry point for an ill-advised invasion, and the local burger joint featured a talking trash can that got a binary gender greeting correct at least fifty-percent of the time.

By all accounts, Greenville was a very weird place.

One of the weirdest spots in this idyllic American city was a short strip—no more than a mile in length—of one of the main roads that cut straight through the city. The strip was densely packed with all flavors of tourist traps from the infamous never-escape-game room (really, you won’t), extreme putt-putt (you have to sign a waiver but you don’t have to pay extra for the hazard insurance), a Triassic Encounter (located adjacent the putt-putt course and you get a 10-percent discount if you buy tickets to both attractions at once; also, keep your fingers away from the cages), and everything along the strip was anchored by the Greenville Visitor Center, a small shanty manned by a crazy old man with a long white beard who did his best to convince visitors that the Never Escape Game was actually, absolutely escapable. It might have taken six years, but the crazy old man had escaped.

Or did he? Was the shanty and the strip just some kind of existential, cosmic extension of the escape game?

If you ever visit Greenville, try not to get into a philosophical discussion about reality, escapism, and ten-percent discounts with the crazy old man at the at the visitor center.

Aside from the world’s only Weirdatorium (“Uncle Al’s Weirdatorium Emporium: half-priced Tuesdays and complimentary wheat grass sno-cones for groups of eight or more!”) the really weird thing about the Greenville tourism district were the gift shops.

While most people are familiar with the exit-through-the-gift-shop trope, wherein the gift shop naturally grew from the local attraction and existed to support said attraction (example: Uncle Al’s Weirdatorium Harmonium, a Greenville exclusive) the weirdness of Greenville caused a new strain of gift shop to evolve. These new gift shops no longer required a host attraction and in some places, you could even find gift shops that were located at the exit of other gift shops.

There were only three total scientific experts who had spent any time studying the gift shop epidemic and two of three traced its roots to the Greenville tourism district. (The third scientific expert traced the epidemic to Orlando, but his research was later dismissed as thinly-veiled propaganda for a certain rodent-based entertainment empire.)

In short order, the Greenville gift shop epidemic escalated to the absolutely terrifying point where one of these weird, monstrous, free-standing garish gift shops mysteriously appeared on a lot that had been completely empty just the day before.

Greenville was a very weird place, indeed.

*

Doors slid open and a series of melodic notes played underneath a generic, cheery song that almost sounded poppy, but every third and seventh note seemed to be off. Three figures stood inside the entrance of the gift shop. The one in the middle wore brown slacks with a matching buttoned dress vest. He pushed a pair of black-framed glasses up his nose as he surveyed the first floor of the gift shop.

An overly cheery gift shop employee: “Hello, welcome!”

The employee drifted away leaving the three people to themselves.

“Let’s try and keep this clean, boys,” Jordan said. “Recon only. Assess the situation, establish any paranormal parameters, keep a low profile, and get out. It’s probably just a gift shop, but I see no reason we can’t collect our minimum fee on this.”

On Jordan’s right was his brother, Jason. Jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket. Strong features and a stronger chin. He wore his hair long and in a ponytail because manly men have pony tails.

“First of all, you literally just repeated everything you said in the parking lot, like, thirty seconds ago,” Jason said, eyeballing a display of Greenville, USA! shot glasses with custom names. “Secondly, it’s called standard operating procedure for a reason. You don’t have to treat us like children.”

Jordan was temporarily impressed with Jason’s grasp of ‘standard operating procedures’ not because his brother was particularly stupid (although it was well-established that Jordan was the brains and Jason was the brawn of this operation) but because Jason usually lacked the patience to grasp anything of substance. 

“I think it’s safe to say we know what we’re doing,” Jason said with a smirk. His eyes darted to one of the shot glasses. “Ooh! This one has my name but they spelled it wrong!”

Jason grabbed the glass that had ‘Jayson’ printed on it. The glass came from the lower end of the display and dozens of shot glasses promptly collapsed and shattered on the floor. Jason shifted awkwardly, looking up from his misspelled shot glass.

Jordan sighed.

To Jordan’s right: “My money’s on a government conspiracy,” Chris said while rubbing his chin, eyebrow arched. He was tall, lanky, and had short-cropped platinum blonde hair. Chris wore athletic shorts and a form-fitting t-shirt, an outfit designed to allow for a maximum range of flexibility.  “My guess is that the government probably setup the shop overnight as an economic stimulus.”

Jordan was confused. “An economic—”

Chris shrugged. “Hey, it’s not like everything we do has to involve the end of the world,” referring to the countless times the world had ended during one of their paranormal investigations. It was a trope.

Jason squinted, not unlike Clint Eastwood. “Sometime’s a gift shop is just that …” Jason paused dramatically.

The three paranormal investigators silently looked at each other as Jason squinted and wiggled his eyebrows in a fashion he no doubt assumed was suspenseful.

It wasn’t.

Another long moment passed and Jordan decided Jason was finished.

“Let’s spread out—”

“—a gift shop,” Jason finally said through gritted teeth. In his normal voice, and quickly: “Sometime’s a gift shop is just that, a gift shop.”

“You done now?”

“Yeah, that’ll do.” Jason tossed the misspelled shot glass in the air and caught it, placing it daintily on the shattered display. “So we’re clear, though, my money is on this being a waste of time.”

“Waste of time or not, Milton Cranstead is still paying our minimum fee.”

“I’m not sure I’d trust the crazy old man at the visitor center to pay for a free lunch, much less our fee,” Chris said.

“Also, serious question,” Jason said gravely before his tone shifted completely, face scrunched like he just sucked a lemon wedge. “Can’t we do something a little more fun?” he whined.

“Your idea of fun is punching things,” Jordan replied.

“Your point is?”

Jordan sighed and mentally reset. “Chris, see if you can’t poke around the second floor. Jason, you’re on perimeter. I’ll run the spectroscopic analysis for trace ectoplasmic particles and we’ll meet back here in ten. Easy money, fellas.”

“Can I say one thing?” Chris asked.

“No.” Jordan pulled a smartphone-sized gadget with a large antenna from his back pocket.

“Government conspiracy.”

“Guys?” Jason asked flatly. His attention had been pulled to the interior of the gift shop.

A new voice from behind the boys. It was deep and mesmerizing, not unlike Patrick Warburton. “I can categorically deny that this is not a government operation. Not even a secret one. Yeah. I would know.”

“Guys—”

Jordan and Chris spun on their heels (Jason still transfixed on something else). A tall man, broad shoulders, dressed in a black suit stood behind them at the entrance of the gift shop. The man’s appearance was not unlike Patrick Warburton.

“Agent Bob!” Chris exclaimed and promptly enveloped the man in a hug that was all arms and a little leg. “Holy popsicles, dude, the last time we saw you—”

Agent Bob attempted to extricate himself from Chris’ embrace. “Mongolian army. Viscous ooze. Some really bad female character development.”

Jordan shrugged. “We learn, we grow.”

Agent Bob eyeballed the three very male paranormal investigators. “Mmh.”

Chris unwound himself and grabbed Agent Bob’s shoulders. “Wait a sec––you’re saying this whole gift shop thing isn’t one of yours?”

“Nope. I’m here same as you,” Agent Bob said. “My guys need to know how this place just showed up overnight.”

Chris’ eyes went wide. “Well, this just got interesting!”

Jordan’s handheld ectoplasmic spectrometer pinged a worrisome note.

“Guys!” Jason yelled.

Two paranormal investigators and one secret government agent turned to look at what Jason was fixated on.

What appeared to be the entire staff of the gift shop had gathered at the front of the store. They looked normal enough, wearing a standard uniform of green slacks, white polo, and a green vest with a shiny white badge pinned to the breast that simple read ‘Hello!’.

“Hello.”

“Welcome.”

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

The greetings echoed eerily across the gathered staff and that was when Jordan noticed the first really weird thing about the people who worked at the gift shop.

Both their eyes and their grins were a little too wide.

Agent Bob squinted. Less Clint Eastwood and more distressed Patrick Warburton. “… I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Chris nodded. “Yeah. Maybe the crazy old guy at the visitor center isn’t so crazy after all.”

Jordan gulped. He had noticed the second really weird thing about the gift shop employees.

The didn’t have feet. It was hard to notice at first, as if something inside him was refusing to acknowledge the abnormality, blurring it out in the periphery of his vision. But when he focused, Jordan could look down and see that none of the employees had feet. Their legs tapered down into a single, sinuous, green and yellow-veined protrusion that rolled backwards to an unseen location.

“Welcome, hello.”

“Hi, welcome.”

“Hello.”

The gift shop staff shifted—nope, strike that, they straight up undulated—and Jordan noticed the final really weird thing: there was no individual gift shop employee—they were all tentacles of a much, much larger creature.

The handheld ectoplasmic spectrometer buzzed and then began issuing a series of alarm bells.

Chris pulled at his arm to stretch his shoulder. “So much for it not being the end of the world.”

“Hey now, we don’t know—”

“Jordan!”

“Okay, fine.”

Agent Bob reached into his inside coat pocket. “Definitely not government.”

“Hello, welcome, hi.”

Jason grinned. He was going to get to punch something after all.

###

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jordan Krumbine is a professional video editor, digital artist, and creative wizard currently quarantined in Kissimmee, Florida. When not producing content for the likes of Visit Orlando, Orlando Sentinel, or AAA National, Jordan is probably yelling at a stubbornly defective Macbook keyboard, tracking creative projects in Trello, and animating quirky videos with LEGO and other various toys.

Leave a dollar in the Tip Jar: https://ko-fi.com/krumbine

Short stories: https://bit.ly/2XY5D7I Books on Amazon Kindle: https://amzn.to/3bsqK5Y YouTube: https://bit.ly/2W41nSG Twitter: https://bit.ly/2VH0Vbu Facebook: https://bit.ly/2VpnylZ LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/2xnmk1e

http://www.krumbco.com

[petersasteria]

Princess - T.H. AU // 1

Pairing: Tom x Reader

Words: 1.3k words

*This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

“Holland, where’s my coffee?!” Margaret Jones, the CEO of Regalia, shouts outside her office as she looks around for her British intern.

“Hello? Ms. Jones?” a man from her bluetooth headset says. Margaret pinches the bridge of her nose due to being stressed and tired. “Yes, Michael. I’m still here. Just keep talking and pitch your ideas.” Margaret says.

“Okay. Since your fashion line is JUST about clothes, why not make a line of shoes?” Michael asks.

“That’s brilliant, Michael. I’m afraid I can’t focus right now, because I need my fucking coffee and my fucking intern isn’t here yet!” Margaret scream. She’s not mad at Michael; she’s mad because she hasn’t had her daily dose of a venti iced coffee from Starbucks.

Everyone outside her office is scared to go near her, so they just scramble around to get their own work done. But ‘where’s the Holland she’s been looking for?’ you may ask.

He’s on his way to work. Thomas Stanley Holland is a 23 year old British man who’s working in New York City as an intern at Regalia. Now, he’s late due to the long line at Starbucks...he also woke up late.

He dashes inside the building and runs to catch the elevator with its doors about to close. “I’m gonna make it. I’m gonna make it. I’m gonna make it.” he chants to himself quietly.

Thankfully, he makes it and presses the 20th floor. “Yeah, I made it!” he cheers a little too loud causing everyone in the elevator to look at him strangely. He embarrassingly looks down whilst holding the still very cold iced coffee.

A minute or so later, he arrives at the 20th floor. He turns left and pulls open the glass door with his free hand. “Good morning!” he smiles at the receptionist.

The receptionist is a man named Giovanni Eastwood. He’s the same age as Tom and he’s the first man who was ever hired at Regalia. He helped Tom when Tom was hired as an intern. He showed Tom around and how to work stuff there and he even told Tom who to avoid, who to not mess with, and who to befriend.

Giovanni is also openly gay. He lives with Kurt Cameron, his boyfriend of 3 years.

“Hey, T! Margaret is in a mood today, because you’re late.” Giovanni rolls his eyes as he types something on his laptop. “I’ll talk to you on our lunch break so that Margaret doesn’t chop your head off.”

Tom chuckles and runs to where Margaret is. Margaret crosses her arms as soon as Tom comes into view her her venti iced coffee. “It’s nice of you to finally arrive, Mr. Holland.” Margaret angrily says as she takes her coffee from Tom.

“Yes, I’m so sorry for being late. I--” Tom gets cut off by Margaret, waving her hand in front of his face as a sign to shut up.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You’re already here and that’s better than not showing up for no reason. I want you to follow me in my office, because I have things for you to do.” 

With that, they enter the office and Tom closes the door. He just stands in the middle of the office as he adjusts his average sized messenger bag. Margaret pulls out a folder from her drawer and hands it to Tom, “I want 5 copies for each page. Bring them to me in Meeting Room A. I have a meeting there in a minute. After that, take everyone’s order for food and drinks. We’ll be there for awhile. Then, you may take your lunch break and after that, get back to work which is cleaning my office. Just fix the files on my desk, vacuum clean the floor, and just clean the whole damn place. I want it spotless.”

Tom inhales deeply and nods slowly. “Alright. Off you go.” Margaret says and Tom is already doing his 1st task.

He goes to the area where the photocopier is and starts photocopying. He wastes no time in doing so and before he knew it, He was done. He quickly arranged everything before heading to Meeting Room A. He looked through the glass door and Margaret motions for him to come in.

He comes in and smiles at everyone before handing out the copies Margaret asked him to do.

“Tell Tom what you’d like for lunch, because we’ll be staying here for awhile. Tom, I’ll have a croissant.” Margaret says as she looks at her colleagues.

“I’ll have a chicken sandwich from McDonald’s.”

“Make that two.” 

“I’ll have a burrito from Taco Bell.” 

“I’ll just have a salad.” 

“And I’ll just have a lasagna.” 

Tom nods as he jots everyone’s orders down and he quickly leaves to buy everything for them. Margaret pays him back at the end of the day and he’ll be getting his salary at the end of the day as well.

-

It’s finally his lunch break and he eats lunch with Giovanni at Central Park which is near the building. They sit on a bench and start to eat.

“So, how’re you and Kurt?” Tom asks, starting a conversation as he takes a bite of his sandwich from Subway.

Giovanni smiles at him and flashes him his left hand, “We’re finally engaged!”

Tom looks at him with wide eyes and he looks at Giovanni’s left hand and sure enough, there’s a pretty engagement ring sitting on his left ring finger. Tom swallows his food before pulling Giovanni in for a hug, “Congratulations!!”

Giovanni hugs back and thanks him. They pull away with the smiles on their face never leaving. Kurt and Giovanni have treated Tom like he’s family. They invite Tom over for dinner sometimes when they’ve cooked food for more than two people and Tom really likes their company.

“So, you’ve been living here in NYC for almost a year now. How are you liking it so far?” Giovanni asks.

“I like it here! People are also really fast just like in London... maybe because it’s a busy city. I’m also starting to like my apartment. I’ve been decorating it the way I like.” Tom proudly says.

“That’s great! What furniture are you lacking?” Giovanni asks again, taking a bite of his potato salad that Kurt made for him.

“Hmm... I need a bed. Don’t get me wrong-- my couch is really comfy, but I really need a bed. Other than that, everything is alright.” Tom answers.

“You know what? I just realized that I’ve never given you a house warming present. Kurt and I will buy you your bed tonight. Just pick one that you like and we’ll pay for it.” Giovanni says.

“Oh, that’s too much.” Tom says in shock.

“It’s alright! It’s a gift and you can’t turn it down.” Giovanni smiles.

-

After work, Kurt picks up Giovanni and Tom so that they could buy Tom his bed. Giovanni texted Kurt earlier after their lunch break and agreed that buying Tom a bed will be a nice house warming present.

“You guys didn’t really have to, but thank you.” Tom says gratefully as he looks around for the perfect bed.

“It’s no problem! You’ve been so nice to us and we thought we’d give back.” Kurt says and Giovanni agrees.

After an hour of looking, Tom finally finds the perfect bed. He looks at the price and just walks away.

“Tom, did you like that one?” Kurt asks. Tom only nods.

“How much was it?” Giovanni asks.

“It’s really expensive. I’ll find another one, though.” Tom says with a genuine smile on his face.

“I told you that you could pick one that you like and if you like that bed, we’ll buy it for you.” Giovanni says.

“Yup.” Kurt chuckles.

With that, they bought the bed and it’ll be delivered tomorrow. Tom is excited and thanks the two men who bought it for him. They even drove him to his apartment. Tom gets out of the car, thanks them again, and waves them goodbye.

He goes inside and unlocks the door to his apartment before locking it. He gets ready for bed and turns on the tv as he gets comfy on his couch. After 2 hours of watching, he drifts off into a deep sleep.

* * * *

-not proofread-

Reblog if you liked it and tell me what you think so far on my ask! :)

Love you all xx

TAG LIST: @sweetdespairbarnes @whores-ocean @loxbbg @the-surviving-revolutionist @thewinchesterchronicles @iamanerdnot @aiianovna

[introvertguide]

Apocalypse Now (1979); AFI #30

The next movie on the AFI list that we watched was the famous Vietnam Era war film, Apocalypse Now (1979). Even though the movie only received lukewarm reviews on release and was a modest success, the movie is now considered a classic being ranked highly on the AFI film registry (#28 and #30 a decade later), the Sight and Sound Poll (#12), and #6 on a director’s poll of the greatest films of all time. There was some initial recognition as the movie was nominated for 8 Academy Awards and took home 2 for Best Cinematography and Best Sound and both were well deserved. There was actually quite a bit to the making (and almost not making) of this film that I would like to discuss, but first standard brief summary:

SPOILERS!!! You all should know by now but I don’t want hate mail for neglecting to mention it.

The story is really about two people at its core: a Special Ops Officer named Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) goes crazy when entrenched in Vietnam and starts killing civilians and anyone who doesn’t agree with him. To stop Kurtz, a specialized troop named Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent down a river through Vietnam and into Cambodia to kill the rogue Kurtz with “extreme prejudice.”

The movie begins when Captain Willard is recruited and then escorted to the mouth of a river that will take him to Kurtz. His escort is the air cavalry, commanded by Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore (Robert Duvall), who fly into a beach possessed by Viet Cong. Kilgore picks this point of entry because he is a surfing fan and wants that specific beach so he can have an opportunity to catch some waves. It does not go well and he calls in a napalm strike on the tree line of the beach. This is when Kilgore says his famous phrase, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

Willard takes a small river patrol boat to go up that river with a small group. The boat members are Mr. Clean (Laurence Fishburne), Lance (Sam Bottoms), Chef (Frederic Forrest), and Chief (Albert Hall). The boat goes down the river and runs into increasingly strange situations. There is a USO show, a standard boat search that goes very wrong, and a bridge outpost that is build every day and blown up every night. 

Not everyone on the boat survives, but the remaining members make it to the end of the river to be met by a group of jungle natives and soldiers that all worship Kurtz like a god. There are dead bodies (and body parts) everywhere to show the madness of Kurtz and his soldiers. Willard realizes that he respects Kurtz but will have to kill him. 

Willard is taken by the group and held prisoner, but Kurtz likes him and allows him to roam around. After an undetermined about of time, Willard uses the cover of a ritual bull slaughter to assassinate Kurtz with a machete. Willard then goes back to his boat with the one surviving crewman and leaves. The end. 

This seems like a really short summary for a war epic that lasts for 170 minutes in the short version and over 200 in the extended versions, but very little actually happens in the film. It is a whole lot of voice over, 80s keyboard ambience music, and shots of a boat going down a river. It is supposed to be a film about the decent into madness as Willard gets further from the militarized Kilgore and closer to the vigilante Kurtz. It is hard to really show and not tell emotions of gradual loss of sanity and so there is a lot (I mean a whole lot) of 3rd person narrative. 

I will admit that I am much more of a fan of the story behind the film because almost everything went wrong. The movie was originally set to be directed by George Lucas and have the lead played by Steve McQueen. This did not work out because McQueen did not want to go to the jungle for 4 months. Neither did Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Clint Eastwood, or Al Pacino. Coppola took over the job of director and sank some of his own money into the project to get it going since Lucas was busy with Star Wars when the film had accumulated some budget and Harvey Keitel was chosen as the lead. Coppola did not like the character that Keitel tried to give the role of Willard so he was replace with Martin Sheen. It felt like things were good at this point but it really went downhill from there.

The movie had not been completely written and was based on Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness (which really doesn’t have an end) and it becomes evident as the movie goes on. The initial attack on the beach that is lead by the helicopters of Kilgore is a scenic wonder and one of the most cinematic things I have seen. The war horrors that are portrayed are brutal and disassociation that Kilgore has from what he is doing and what is going on around him is spectacular. Duvall really earned his nomination for Best Supporting Actor because he steals every scene that he is in. 

The movie was shot in the Philippines and there were many problems with safety for the crew since there was civil unrest and martial law declared in the area that filming was taking place. It was very dangerous and the president of the country at the time did not protect the members of the project like was promised. It continued to get worse because the jungle is very dangerous and the number of military/police in the filming escort was few to none. 

The heat and general environment is very harsh and people who have not grown accustomed to it suffer greatly. All of the crew had constant illnesses and injuries general anxiety. Charlie Sheen had a heart attack and his brother was shipped in to do some of the distance and dark shots. The crew got super antsy and started to do a lot of drinking and drug use with Dennis Hopper in the lead, even getting the teenaged Lawrence Fishburne addicted to heroine. Through all of this, the shoot was way over budget due to weather delays, injuries, and the fact that the script of the movie had not been finished.

To top off everything off, Marlon Brando finally showed up and he was 90 lbs overweight, drunk, and took an immediate hatred towards everybody. He still had a chip on his shoulder about the pay for The Godfather and was there to screw things up for Coppola. The director was reported to be having almost daily anxiety attacks towards the end of the shoot. The toll became apparent since the direct lost almost 100 lbs. during the shoot from stress and general sickness. 

Everything was finally scrapped together and it became apparent that the whole thing was a fiasco. People almost died. The planned out five month shoot ended up taking almost fifteen months. The script was being written while the shoot was occurred. The weather and jungle had done a lot of damage to the tape and the lack of environmental control meant that there was a lot of voice over work. Coppola went bankrupt investing his own money into the project and a lot of it went to a highly overpaid and generally scheming Marlon Brando for a truly terrible performance.

A total of over 200 hours of film was edited down to a film that lasted around 160 minutes and it took 3 years to do. I have been disappointed by the film every time that I have watched it because it is slow and I really hate the sci-fi music and constant voice overs. I love the characters at the beginning and I dislike the new people more at more as the movie progresses. I know that it is supposed to get more and more crazy and unrealistic as the boat progresses down the river, but to me it is like watching somebody that you like get drunk over an evening and turn into an annoying spectacle. 

I want to note that this movie seems to be most favored by directors and others who are in the film business. People who have been on set realize how difficult it was to do the project and that the movie is as any good is phenomenal. Despite the lack of a real ending, the movie does have a definite plot and it follows the narrative almost like the filming was a research project and all of the data was combed to find a story. The film is too long and kind of boring for me, but I can recognize that there was some aspects of genius in the making. In my opinion, none of those aspects came from Marlon Brando.

This series is supposed to be objective so I will deal with the normal questions from my opinion and from a film standpoint. Should this film be on AFI list? I would so definitely from a film standpoint because it is a lesson about how a professional film can be made despite everything going wrong and it is a directorial and editing achievement like no other movie I know. The production wanted a realistic descent into madness in a war time situation and that is exactly what is on the tape. I personally don’t find it as interesting because of the lack of real character development outside of Willard and Kurtz, but I am just one person with my personal tastes and I recognize the accomplishment. Would I recommend it? I think it is good to see and there are a lot of things to learn from the filming. It is well liked generally speaking so I would not dissuade somebody who wanted to watch. I would not actively search this out. It is very long and is extremely boring and weird (not interesting weird) for a lot of the movie and Brando, Hopper, and Bottoms all play parts that just annoy me.  I would watch the film as far as Kilgore is involved (first 45 minutes) and then I would stop it there. 

Side note: I would highly recommend Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’ s Apocalypse (1991), which is a documentary directed by Eleanor Coppola and shows the struggle throughout the making of Apocalypse Now. Really gives a an idea of how stressful and dangerous the whole situation and it also shows what a real jerk Marlon Brando was being during the shoot. 

[believerindaydreams]

oh this got away from me

...*dang* it I swear that whenever I specifically say “no I ain’t gonna fic that” my subconscious goes right ahead and cooks up a story for me. (This is what I get for napping after reblogging all those Eastwood pics huh.)

Albeit, this is Rawhide through the lens of the 70s GBU filter, so uh....what can I say, I don’t like Gil Favor. I do like how that dynamic works with the distinctly screwed-up nature of 70s Blondie though. 

Retrospectively, mind. Post-canon fic, sometime during the trio’s first Christmas together. 

It’s a crazy thing the way he and Blondie have swapped off, Tuco thinks. Wishes for what seems like the hundredth time that he could wipe the sweat and snow off his face- it doesn’t seem fair, to get both at once. But even the small end of this pine tree is heavy and walking backwards is tricky, he doesn’t want to drop it. 

“Careful now,” Blondie says heartily. “We’re almost at the door.”

His partner’s beaming, pink-faced. Blondie’s taking a deep and lively pleasure in the seasonal festivities, boisterously enthusiastic about every snow-dappled tradition, while he’s been wearying his soul out for warmth and dust-strewn Texas roads. Tuco balances the tree on his shoulder, fumbles for the doorknob-

“You two are the height of absurdity.” Angel Eyes opens the door wide, placing one black-gloved hand on his shoulder to guide him inside. Hearing that wry familiar bewilderment, maybe it still doesn’t make it all worth it. 

Goes some ways, though. 

“Or I am,” Blondie says ruefully, as they wrestle the tree into the gatehouse’s blessed heat. “Mighta kept Tuco out too long- but I wanted this to be just right. A surprise for you, Angel.” 

“Why wouldn’t you think I’d want to be along to pick it?”

“Because there’s so little you’re willing to accept as a surprise,” Blondie points out. “A Christmas tree two days ahead of schedule, that seemed like it’d fit the bill nicely.”

“...that’s very nearly exasperating, if accurate,” Angel Eyes says. Genuine pleasure somewhere in there under the annoyance, and it makes Tuco feel a little lonely to hear it. Not feeling at home here of all places, that’s not right. 

“One, two, three- there we go,” Blondie says, sliding the tree into the holder with seemingly effortless enthusiasm. “Now I’ll brush the snow off, so it won’t get over the floor, then we can start decorating.”

“Blondie, can we- what if we put that off until tomorrow? Only I’m tired.” Tuco pulls off his jacket, dives deep underneath their knit sofa throw. 

“I’m sorry,” Blondie says, a little awkwardly. “I thought you’d be having more fun.” 

“Oh, it was all right at the start- but three hours walking! Santa Maria, you never know when to leave off.” 

“Well. It had to be the right tree, for Angel,” Blondie says, chin set with a charming determination. 

“...yeah, yeah, fair enough.” In response to Angel’s questioning look, he nods in quick reassurance- there’s nothing really wrong with him, besides exhaustion and maybe a little homesickness. “Maybe I’ll just have a quick nap, you two can get on with things.”

Angel balances himself carefully on the sofa arm, concern etched across his features. “If that’s what you need, by all means. Though I’m surprised you don’t want even a bowl of soup first.”

“Is it that late already?”

“Four hours walking, if I’m not much mistaken,” Angel says. Throws Blondie a dirty look. 

“In my defense, somebody insisted on chopping down a whole tree by himself just to prove that he wasn’t such a city slicker.”

“And who was teasing me about that, huh? Somebody who was happy just to stand around smoking cigarillos while I was busy working, that’s who-”

“I was hoping the woodchopping might- help cheer you up,” Blondie says hesitantly, sliding down besides him on the floor. “Last time you were this down-at-mouth during Christmas was Pennsylvania.”

“It wasn’t. That was Christmas before last, when you were so sick and I was- I was scared I’d lose you. That was much worse.” Not that he would have asked to be reminded of, but the thought helps put things in perspective. A little sadness tonight is nothing like that harsh, gripping terror, gracias a Dios.

“...it all seemed more cheerful from my perspective- chalk it up to the fever, I suppose,” Blondie says. He sounds a little quizzical. 

“Anyway, what was so wrong with Pennsylvania? It all ended happily. My cousin thought it was a riot.” 

“Happily? I’ve still got a warrant out!”

“So what? You’ve got one in Florida, too-”

“One story at a time,” Angel Eyes decrees, handing each of them a bowl of thick orange soup. “What’s this about a cousin, Tuco?”

“I mean I have one. Six of them, at that- what, did you think it was just me and Pablo? It’s a Catholic family.”

“So was mine,” Angel Eyes observes. 

“...not to be rude or anything, but your family, that wasn’t what anyone would call normal,” Tuco says delicately. He spoons down piping hot mouthfuls, faintly puzzled by the flavour- it isn’t anything quite like what Angel’s made before. “It’s not everyone who’s brought up by an assassin lady.”

The twist of pleasure to his lover’s mouth, he lives for moments like that. 

“What even was his name?” Blondie asks. “The number of ‘em he had, you think I’d be able to remember one...”

“I bet you remember Gil Favor though, eh?”

“You’re not going to be happy until Angel hears the whole stupid tale, are you,” Blondie mutters. “It’s not- god above, he doesn’t want to hear about my rebound.”

“We had to do something after Louisiana,” Tuco says impishly. “And it felt like a good idea to do something different- so we treated ourselves a little, spent my savings on a slow trip north. See, my cousin was working in a meatpacking plant, he always said he could get us in whenever we wanted a job- it seemed like a good time to take up the offer.”

“I didn’t believe him,” Blondie confesses. “Or- more like, didn’t want to believe it. Not my Tuco.”

“Not either of you, I’d have thought,” Angel says rather curiously. “You’re neither of you especially suited for violence.”

“...maybe I wanted to get the knack, in case you caught up with me again,” Blondie mutters. 

“Oh, is that why you- oh,” Tuco says. “Huh. Blondie was working with the live cows, I was mostly mopping and moving boxes, clean work like that. It was hard work though, I didn’t like it. Too cold. And nobody liked the way my cousin had pushed for me to get a cushy job, they said it wasn’t fair.”

“I had a punch-up with two guys who tried to lock him in a freezer the first week,” Blondie says heavily. “Brought me to the attention of the line manager. I figured he was gonna fire me, so I got a little cocky- Tuco could tell you how that goes, when I haven’t got anything to lose.”

“He hardly needs to. I was watching it for months, if you’ll recall.” 

“It’s sexy,” Tuco says, grinning. “I used to like watching him get fired.”

“Yeah. That sure never helped with us trying to settle down...okay. So I told the man what happened, figured I’d take my medicine for it, only Favor seemed to like it. Said I was spirited.”

“And one two three, next thing you know he’s fucking the boss,” Tuco says, licking his spoon. “They had a lot in common, actually- Favor had crazy dreams too. He wanted to be a cowboy like nobody’s business, but he had two daughters and an old aunt to look after.” 

“Lucky thing I had you,” Blondie says, looking up at him fondly. “Never got tempted to leave hostages to fortune like that.”

“Penny.”

“Penny didn’t want kids either, we’d agreed to that on the first date. Funny thing about that, actually-” 

“Blooooondie. Stop getting distracted.” 

“I’m not making you explain your last partner to Angel, am I?” Blondie gets up, holds his hand out for Tuco’s empty bowl. 

“But I already told him abut Trixie! He knows that story.”

“I should have seen that coming, huh.” 

“I’d say so,” Angel agrees, lightly sipping at his soup. “Keep going.” 

“Okay, well...it wasn’t the worst setup, or not for me. Course everybody else at the plant hated me playing suck-up, but I felt sorry for the man being so isolated. Or as sorry as I could be, for a complete kook. Had all these crazy notions about how the Confederacy was doomed from the start, because they’d all missed their chance supporting an independent Texan state.”

“Yeah. Lots of great ideas about how all the slave holders should have moved there and invaded Mexico,” Tuco says, rolling his eyes. “They used to chat about it in the office with the door wide open, anybody could hear them.” 

“It paid for a nicer apartment than we’d ever had before.” 

“And I hated it. And Pennsylvania. And Favor- I didn’t like the way he said his wife didn’t matter, just because they were separated. Or the way my partner doted on him,” Tuco says, cautiously taking the bowl from Blondie’s hands. “I mean, I guess a lot of that was Blondie missing you, I get that now, but he sure wanted me to be jealous of him for something and I was.” 

“What? That’s not how I thought- I mean, he was right that it was a short-term proposition. His wife did come back.” 

“In December, because it was Christmas and she missed her kids,” Tuco says. “I felt sorry for her. She’d run off to the big city, tried to make it on her own- if I’d known where she was I’d have tried to help her. But nobody knew where she was.” 

“When she did come back, I was in bed with Favor,” Blondie says. “I won’t say it was the most awkward thing that’s ever happened to me, Angel Eyes, but all the rest have involved you.” 

“Tell Angel what he said,” Tuco says, snickering. “Just tell him.” 

“...he looks across the blankets at his wife,” Blondie says. “And he looks at me, and he says as nice as you please, ‘Rowdy’- I was going by Rowdy-” 

“That I hated worst of all, the name. You know how Blondie gets into a part, well- you never saw anybody so wholesome!”

“He says ‘Rowdy, this is my wife Janice, and I think you two would get along’. And there I am with my shirt off and my ass bare,” Blondie says, sprinkling pepper on his soup. “Saying to myself, how the hell did I work so hard getting out of one disaster of a threesome just to end up in somebody else’s? So I excused myself, put my pants on and went home.” 

“...we had a pretty good fuck that night. After I stopped laughing at him.” 

“Tuco, why were you putting up with this?”

“You never saw Blondie dressed up as a cowboy,” Tuco says cheerfully. “Let me tell you, he’s pretty hot that way. We got a nice routine together at lunchtime- first he’d be with Favor in his office, and I’d be watching through the keyhole, then Favor would hurry off to do his three-martini deal or whatever it was that gave him such rotten ulcers- and then Blondie would let me in and I’d fuck him again, it was great.” 

“Yeah. Actually getting any lunch started to be a problem.” 

“Fucking an adulterous Confederate maniac, and he thought eating lunch was his big problem,” Tuco retorts. 

“...I’m at a complete loss now, whether you were enjoying this or not.” 

“I was and I wasn’t, you know? It’s complicated. It got more complicated when Janice said she’d fallen in love with Blondie- she said he was such a gentleman, and I figured with her husband anybody would look like one."

“She came to the plant to apologise to me for interrupting, of all things, and, uh, I was just trying to finish my lunch and before the hour was over she was trying to kiss me,” Blondie says. “Which is right about when I decided we should make tracks.” 

“So I skipped out on work that afternoon and went home to pack and get the car ready and everything. Somebody has to think of this stuff.” 

“And then...oh god,” Blondie says, and starts to laugh with helpless hilarity. 

“To think I played poker with you,” Tuco says, clicking his tongue. “We got to work the next morning, only the plant was still locked up tight- that was one of Favor’s jobs, he’d never give anybody else the keys. The whole herd of cows was milling around outside, and he was in the middle of them on a big white charger.”  

“And he says, god help us all, that he’s going to ride herd on them all the way to Texas, and anybody from the plant who wants to sign up as a trail hand is welcome to do so. And he wants me along as ramrod- are you all right?” 

“...perfectly fine,” Angel promises. Once Tuco’s patted him on the back a few times and he’s stopped choking. “Pray continue.” 

“Yeah. So. I asked him, isn’t it stealing to take these cattle from the plant, and he says no, he’s paid his life savings to buy this herd and by god he’s going to take them to a Western range, blah blah blah- did I mention he’s got his full cowboy fetish gear on? He has.” 

“His wife’s loaded up their pickup truck,” Tuco says. “It’s all packed, the kids are in it, even the old aunt. So when I saw that I knew it was serious business.”

“She was trying to reason with him,” Blondie says. “Hollering at him to please calm down, talk about this sensibly, and he whipped out a set of pistols and said he’d get the whole herd to Texas just to spite her if nothing else...anyway I figured I’d better humour him some,” Blondie says. “So I put on the vest, and the hat, and everything-” 

“I wanted to kiss him like that. But I didn’t want a bullet through my heart either- but I thought of something.”

“He taps my foot when I’m getting on the horse,” Blondie says. “And whispers to me to, um, get Favor away from the cattle...one more round in the office, for old time’s sake. I, uh, might have promised him something about a whip and a set of spurs.” 

“So they go in and when they come out, poof! All the cattle are gone,” Tuco says. “The whole lot. But the field’s a mess- you ever seen how fast a good butcher can turn a cow into hamburger? A lot of poor people in Philly got a lot of free steaks that day, they thought it was a Christmas miracle.” 

“...that was you? The Philadelphia fiasco? That made national headlines.”

“He’s fun like that,” Tuco says fondly, finishing off the soup in amused contentment. No malaise could hold up against a story like that; or not his, anyway. 

“And I had no idea what to say,” Blondie says. “So I just mumbled something about huh, they must have already started the drive without us...and he just broke down and started to cry like a little kid. He was still crying when the cops showed up and dragged him off for inciting a riot- and I wouldn’t have got out of it, only Tuco’s cousin had paid off the cops. Apparently he’d had his eye on Favor’s job for a long time, had been sort of chafing at the bit because he hadn’t been able to get the owners to notice him. They noticed him after that.” 

“And what of Janice?”

“Married my cousin and settled down very happily,” Tuco says. “Tell you the truth, I don’t know if Favor came up with that whole scheme himself, or if it was something they put into his head to try...but they never went after anybody for stealing all that cattle. And it was her money, so there wasn’t anything to be done about it. He hasn’t shown his face in Philly since, I hear.” 

“...I thought it was a shame, kinda,” Blondie says wistfully. “If there’d been any cattle when we’d come out, if we’d had a lot of city-worn men willing to ride out to somewhere better- but I guess I should have known. A man who couldn’t keep the respect of his men at work wasn’t going to be able to sell them on a dream.” 

“Would you really have gone for that?” Angel inquires. “If they had?”

“Hell, why not? Gil wasn’t a bad lay, and Janice was a looker, and with Tuco along I might have given that proposition a shot-”

“If you think I’d have followed some jumped-up racist like that, you’ve got another think coming.” 

“Oh. Then, never.” 

Like the four-hour hunt for a tree, it’s maybe not the most orthodox way for Blondie to say he loves them; but that’s what it means. Tuco leans down, tousles his partner’s hair affectionately. 

“Angel,” Blondie says. “You’re looking pensive.” 

“...all this time I’ve been perfectly convinced I always had the upper hand over you two,” Angel says. “To need to ponder whether my expertise is capable of surmounting your capacity for chaos is...an intriguing question. Possibly even an alarming one.” 

Which is Angel’s way of expressing affection. 

“You two idiots, I love you to death,” Tuco murmurs. 

Feeling very glad, that one of them can say it. 

[azworkingdogs]

Dog Dental Treats and Chews, What You Need to Know About Your Dog’s Oral Health

One of the most important and most preventable diseases that your dog (or pet) will undoubtedly face in his lifetime is dental disease.  The Royal Veterinary College of London (RVC) published a PDF in 2002 that stated periodontal disease is the most common infectious disease of adult dogs.  Did you know that it affect over 87% of dogs that are over the age of three?  That is a lot of dogs, living with a preventable disease!

The truth is that your dog’s oral hygiene and care of his teeth and mouth is just as importance as your oral hygiene and the care of your teeth and mouth!  Not only will good oral hygiene play a major role in freshening breath; it will give your pet healthier teeth and reduce plaque and tartar

Could you imagine what your teeth would look like if you only brushed them once a month, once every 6 weeks, or perhaps never at all?

I often hear pet owners tell me that the groomer brushes their pet’s teeth every 6 weeks or so when they take them in for a haircut or bath.  But, let me tell you that only caring about your dog’s breath or pet’s breath and oral hygiene every 6 weeks is not nearly enough for his teeth, mouth and all over body to remain healthy.

You see, pretty much immediately after your dog eats his dog food or even a treat, bacteria, combines with saliva, food and other substances (that were already in his mouth) to form an adhesive or gooey film; also known as plaque.  This plaque then sits on top of his teeth and gums.  Interestingly dogs have a more alkaline or acidic mouths than his human counterparts, which promotes more plaque formation.  If this plaque is not brushed off or dealt with using dog dental treats or dog dental chews; it forms a hard calcified deposit known as tartar or dental calculus.

Plaque which leads to dental calculus and dental tartar can cause serious infections and gum disease.

Why?

Once plaque begins to form, long term, your dog’s body (or your body if we are talking human periodontal disease) sends white blood cells to defend or attack the foreign matter that it does not recognize.  Due to the bacteria which is located in the sticky plaque causes the white blood cells to release enzymes that in turn also break down even healthy gum tissue.

This bacteria and addition of white blood cells can lead to severe infections that can even affect your dog’s heart, kidneys, and liver.

This break down and infection leads to destroyed tissue both healthy and infected, inflamed gums, and loss of bone.  Infections can spiral out of control quickly and cause swelling around the jaw and even up underneath the eye socket causing severe pain in and around the ocular nerve and around  surrounding tissue.  This often leads to refusal to eat and lethargy.  The swelling can even get to the point that it ruptures and oozes either outside the face and eye or inside the mouth.  The veterinary oral health council can also provide more information for those pet owners who want to stay in the “know”.   The veterinary oral health council has a lot of great information.

At this point, a canine dental cleaning and the extraction of teeth is required to relieve the pain and the promotion of healthy and regular eating habits to reemerge.

  Effective dental cleanings require anesthesia and often dental x-rays.  These will help your veterinarian to locate problems and clean up under the gumline.  Awake canine dental cleaning (dentals without sedation or anesthesia; often offered by non-veterinarians) are unsafe and can be dangerous if your dog swallows, breathes or ingests a lot of paste or water.  Your vet will be happy to speak to you about the risks and advantages for your specific dog.

Did you know that canine dental disease can even lead to a change in behavior and increase the likelihood of bites and aggression?  When we or your furry friend are in pain, it often causes a change in behavior which can lead to a shorter fuse and more signs of aggression.

Common Signs of Dental Disease

Bad breath

Build up of yellow deposits on the teeth by the gums

Red swollen or bleeding gums

Blood in drinking water

Pawing at face

Head shyness or not wanting to be touched on the head or snout

Trouble eating and obvious pain when chewing

Increased salivation (sometimes bloody discharge)

Sneezing or nasal discharge (sometimes bloody) because advanced gum disease can destroy the bone between the nasal and oral cavity.

The good news?

Advanced dental disease is almost completely preventable and avoidable!

There was a veterinary study done on 53 Labrador Retrievers that discovered some very interesting information!  Essentially age, breed, diet and nonregular veterinary canine dental cleanings largely contributed to periodontitis and lasting effects as well as loss of teeth.   It also stated that some areas were difficult to assess by dog owners and recommended regular assessment by a qualified veterinarian (which sometimes might include sedation).

What Can You Do?

Daily tooth brushing for your pet is best! Most people brush twice a day!

Provide a nutritious hard (also known as dry) dog food. Some veterinary diets or dog foods are even formulated to help scrub your pet’s teeth and prevent plaque and decay.

Dog dental treats

Dog dental or oral care chews

Oral rinses

Water additives

Gels

Yearly and sometimes biannual (especially older at risk dogs) dental checkups with your vet

Not only will these things assist your pet with good oral health and the reduction of bacteria, it will help keep his heart, kidneys and liver strong all while providing fresh breath.  This reduction in infection and disease can help your pet’s longevity and help him live a longer and happier life.

Get your puppy or kitten used to a brushing regimen and these products early in life; this will prevent a struggle with a full grown or adult pet and condition him that these habits are happy and a normal part of a healthy life!  Remember dogs learn best and acclimate better when they are puppies.

I, for one, would do just about anything to extend my dog’s quality of life and give him more days, weeks, months or even years to spend with me.  After all, our pets don’t live long enough.

Specially formulated Dental Dog Food

Most of the dentally formulated dog foods or pet foods are sold through prescription or your veterinary office only these tend to be slightly more effective.  If in doubt even a handful of a prescription diet like Science Diet’s TD will help with your pet’s oral health.

    Just a note.  Avoid grain free diets!  Grain free diets have been proven to cause some major heart issues in dogs that the veterinary world has just discovered.  Grain free diets are not recommended and not safe.  Stick with big dog food companies and brands and avoid the promises of small claims.

A few of those are:

Science Diet TD which combats plaque and tartar

Purina Pro Plan DH which combats tartar

Over the counter diets include:

Science Diet Oral Care for dogs which combats both plaque and tartar

Hills Healthy Advance Oral Care for Dogs which combats plaque and tartar

Eukanuba Adult Maintenance Diet which combats tartar

Dog Dental Treats and Chews

Ingredients Matter

Many of these dental treats for dogs include vitamins and minerals that not only help with freshening breath, these nutrients are also crucial to your pets  development.  Many of these vitamins, nutrients and minerals may not be found naturally.

One of the other ingredients in some of the dog dental chews is chlorhexidine.  This ingredient is safe to ingest in small doses and helps to combat the bacteria that can reside in your best friend’s mouth.  This ingredient also helps to freshen breath and keep plaque from adhering and forming tartar.

Enzymes are another ingredient that helps to break down plaque and tartar that are beginning to form. Just like enzyme cleaners help to break down pet urine, enzyme as an ingredient in treats for dogs, chews, water additives, gels, and toothpaste can help break down plaque and tartar.

C.E.T. manufactured by Virbac ® is one of the largest and most effective brands available. These products can be found online or at your veterinary hospital for purchase.

Just chewing something for an extended period of time will be helpful, like bully sticks. Dogs love bully sticks. Chewing helps to reduce tartar but if you want the best bang for your buck, research the ingredients that each product offers.

Different ingredients provide a different level of care for dealing with and reducing tartar and dealing with doggie breath. No one likes doggie breath. And, all good products will provide you with an ingredients list. Ingredients can also be researched online.

Greenies ®

One of the biggest and well known brands of dog dental treats and chews is Greenies which have been around since the early 2000’s, as I recall.  But, controversy has followed Mars Inc. the pet care giant  (and the company that owns Greenies).

In 2006, CNN exposed a story that revealed 13 dogs t had died after ingesting or biting off large pieces of one of the Greenies dental treats, touted to reduce tarter for healthier teeth and freshen breath.  Dogs loved Greenies but these large pieces were not easily digested and some had to be surgically removed from several dogs.

One set of owners, Michale Eastwood and Jenny Reiff brought a 5 million dollar suit claiming that their dog, Burt, died after consuming a Greeny.  The suit was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.

Interestingly, several months before CNN brought to light the story and the dog owners brought suit; I had decided to quit feeding Greenies to my dog.  He had continually vomited large pieces of undigested matter.

Thankfully, the suit brought about changes to the Greenies brand and Greenies were reconstructed and made more digestible.  Dogs love Greenies still!

Years later Mars Inc. was again sued for touting Greenies as being the #1 veterinary recommended dog dental treats and chews.

Greenies are, however, still available and still very popular among veterinary staff and dog owners.

Dental issues can be avoided, as can bad doggie breath if you encourage chewing, brush your dog’s teeth, and implement some other great ingredients.  You can even extend your dog’s life with good oral health care!

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