#OTHER ASKS I WILL GET U SOON... SOON !
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I’m BEGGING for more “retired!Dream opens up a weird magic fey bookshop” au. Its so intriguing!
you are in luck. i wrote more
--
"So," Hob says, leaning in the doorway of Dream's study-of-sorts, "much as I love the recommendations, do you mind if I browse?"
He's taken, recently, to meeting Dream on the upper floor of the shop, bringing coffee and watching Dream label and sort his new books in incomprehensible categories. He usually gets some interesting book facts out of it, too, or strange little stories -- "this book washed up on the Sardinian shore some years ago", "this was signed by a long-dead author, I've been curious to see how long it will take for a collector to find it," "an old man bestowed this upon me on the eve of his death, it's the only copy in existence" and so on -- not to mention the pleasure of Dream's company. He is so odd, and so engaging.
Dream looks up at him now with a tiny smile that crinkles the corner of his eyes. "Of course. Find whatever you wish."
Hob has been wondering if Dream's serendipitous knack with books will extend to browsing, to random finds. Only one way to know.
He leaves Dream to his labeling and goes to wander the shop.
This time, he does get swallowed in Oneiromancy, where he finds Sleeping Worlds, a book about dream travel. Then he wanders deeper into the shop, passes categories like, "Cat Training," CLOCKS, "Mathematics: Easy -> Impossible", and, "♾". Of course he goes into Infinity, and picks up The Birth of Numbers, a book whose text starts in the center of the page and spirals outwards, font growing larger as the book goes on, and in another section called "Romance: DIFFICULT LEVEL" -- whatever the hell difficult means -- he picks up a tiny book that's just one line, one syllable on each page.
I
on
ly
want
ed
you
to
see.
God, Dream's shop is weird.
Dream finds him there some time later, deep in Sleeping Worlds. "I see you've had a productive day."
"Yeah, sorry, lost track of time."
Dream keeps looking at him with a little smirk.
Worry darts through Hob's stomach. "Wait, what time is it?"
"Midnight," says Dream, with satisfaction. "I've absorbed you."
Yeah, no kidding. Hob scrambles to his feet. "Jesus, Dream, sorry. I'll get out of your hair."
"No matter. This is what The Library is for."
Hob goes to hand him the books, and he waves a hand. "Keep them, I will get them back eventually."
Ominous. Great.
"Gonna break into my house and retrieve them?" Hob asks. He probably wouldn't even mind, to be honest.
"Nothing so alarming." He gestures Hob forward, and Hob follows, lets Dream walk him out.
It is, indeed, pitch dark outside on their shared street. Hob's supposed to open the cafe at 6. Whoops.
"Thanks for the books, Dream," he says. "And for. Ten hours of distraction, apparently."
Dream leans in the narrow doorway of his shop. "Of course. Come browse... anytime."
And he melts back into the shadows as Hob steps down onto the street.
--
Hob wonders if he's an idiot for wanting to ask Dream out. Dream is clearly some kind of other thing, and hanging around him did kind of get Hob cursed. But the way he bites his lip when he's making notes in books is so cute. His unerring ability to make perfect book selections is both strange and endearing -- even the books Hob had picked up on his own had been exactly what he hadn't known he was looking for. Hob's heart picks up every time he steps into the cafe.
But if he's to ask out Dream, his own personal weird bookshop creature, he has to do it right.
And he knows how.
The next time Dream comes in for coffee, Hob sits down across from him and hands him a book. Dream looks at it in surprise, and Hob has the sudden thought that as the all-powerful selector of tomes, he probably isn't gifted books himself.
The book is called, Broken Hands. Hob had pulled it off his own shelf. Dream doesn't ask him what it is, instead he flips open the cover and reads, as Hob had hoped he would.
The first page of Broken Hands has the following paragraph:
Kissing her hand, he came to know himself. Kissing her mouth, he came to know them both. When they went onward, for now only in his mind, he kissed more of her, and more, and more, and then, he knew her. He wanted to know her.
Dream reads it, and looks back up at him. Offers a tiny smile. Yes, Hob knew he would get it.
"You have something you would like to ask me, Hob Gadling?" he says softly.
"You have something you want to answer?"
Dream takes a long sip of his coffee, but looks at Hob over the rim of the mug, a smile in his eyes. Then he swipes away the milk foam from his upper lip with his tongue and says, "I'd say that you are very foolish, to still wish to associate with someone who did, in a sense, get you cursed. But that I find myself grateful for this foolishness. People do often come back to the library, once they find it-- but they don't often come back for me."
It makes Hob sad to imagine--Dream the perennial custodian of The Library, shepherd of its patrons, gifting small touches of coincidence and magic, but always in the background, a bridge and not a destination. Meanwhile, Hob likes the strange books, but it's Dream he keeps wanting to hover around, to lure back into his own space.
He dares to take Dream's hand and squeezes. "...So?"
"I'd say that I'd like to get coffee with you, if you know a place."
Cheeky thing. "Yeah, there's a Starbucks a couple blocks down," Hob says, gesturing, and Dream chuckles. Hob's still holding his hand, and brings it to his lips for a light kiss, and gets to watch as Dream's cheeks tint pink. His heart lifts in his chest. So easy and light.
"You're gorgeous," he says, and that blush deepens. "I'd suffer even Starbucks for you."
"You would suffer much, then," says Dream.
"We'll get our Starbucks and wander around WHSmith and have a fabulous date," Hob says, and Dream's face goes through the most exquisite journey of horror.
"You demand too much," he says, faint. "You enjoy my suffering."
"Little bit, yeah." Hob's certainly enjoying the reaction.
Then Dream looks at him in challenge. "Very well," he declares. "You've set the date. Now you must follow through."
Hob can't even spare a thought to the distasteful activities he's now gotten himself into--he has a date with Dream. "So that's a yes?"
Dream smiles again, a tiny, pleased thing. "It is a yes, Hob Gadling."
--
They do go to Starbucks. Hob is treated to the glorious sight of Dream sipping a pink drink out of a long straw, which is so worth dealing with the coffee. Then he indeed drags Dream to WHSmith, where Dream stands in the middle of the brightly-lit store, spins in a circle staring at carefully lined book displays with wide eyes, says, "Hell would be more merciful," and bolts away. Hob follows him, laughing.
Outside, he finds Dream leaning in the shade of a tree, looking vaguely shell-shocked. Hob really shouldn't keep laughing at him, but he can't help it. "Were you traumatized permanently by the big chain store?"
"Yes," says Dream, but, despite the perilous adventure, smiles. "You are a cruel man, Hob Gadling."
"Nah. Just harnessed the fluorescent lighting to chase you back into the safety of my arms."
"Oh?" Dream pushes off the tree and steps closer, until he's standing just before Hob, close enough to touch. "Was that the goal?"
Hob takes the leap that's offered and touches Dream's cheek with a light hand. "Did it work?"
This close, in the midday light, Dream's eyes are almost grey. The shade of the tree dapples his skin. It's still odd to see him out of the contained space of his bookshop, of Hob's cafe, but it does make this feel more real. A part of the world beyond the spun-sugar story of their orbiting binary stars.
Dream rests a feather light hand on Hob's chest. Studies Hob from under his eyelashes. And instead of answering, he leans up and, with that same light touch, presses his lips to Hob's.
Hob revels in the mere touch of him for a moment, but doesn't let it stand at light for long. He takes Dream's face between his hands and deepens the kiss, sweeping his tongue into Dream's mouth, swallowing Dream's hum of pleasure. If only he could put into the kiss what he had felt when Dream had handed him Nightingales. A sudden finding of something long lost that was always meant to be rooted in his heart.
When they part, he makes good on a promise and does pull Dream into his arms. It feels like a great indulgence. It also feels right.
"Make me a solemn promise, Hob Gadling," Dream says against Hob's cheek, arms wrapped around his back.
"Anything."
"Never take me here ever again."
Hob laughs into his hair, squeezing him tight. "What could one possibly want from here when The Library exists?"
This seems to greatly gratify Dream, who preens in Hob's arms. Hob kisses the shell of his ear, then his cheek, then they part again, and he takes Dream's hand. "I'm glad you expanded your horizons with me for a day."
"And now I will shrink them again," says Dream. "Except for one." To which he runs his thumb along Hob's lower lip, a touch Hob sways forward to follow almost drunkenly as Dream smirks. "Come."
He starts leading Hob back in the direction of their quiet street, and far far away from any fluorescent lighting, and Hob follows, touching his lips fondly. And lets himself be cautiously, tentatively hopeful that this will continue spiraling up into something real, because he wants it so bad. Curses and all.
#hob brilliantly asking dream out by giving him a book that basically said 'i wish to know you carnally' but hey it worked!!#and i'm sure he will know dream carnally soon#3 likes and next time they get to explore each others bodies#bookstore cryptid dream#my writing#dreamling#dream of the endless#hob gadling#dreamling fic#thank u louise for the extra special british accuracy in this one XD it is essential that my silly drabble stories channel the TRUE#and ACCURATE experience of the united kingdom. i'll die otherwise
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DOTTORE SUNSET DATE... i would like to point out there's a lil Puffttore in the sky with a heart... i think that's adorable,,
Him admitting his feelings... :3 (marriage soon)
ACCEPTING THE CHOCOLATE BAR AT LIGHT SPEED... you know he loves you if he shares his sweets with you!!
Other random things... *nom* also because i think it'd be adorable for Dottore to actually look forward to spending an eternity with you.
Last one... he went to bed 12 AM sharp 😭
#smooches talks#posting bc i havent had the time to answer asks... hopefully i get to it soon!#okay so u see the other profile art wasn't working for some emotions and that's bc im shit at modding and def did something wrong so ignore#anyway HE S SO FLIPPING CUTE MY GOD#I NEED TO WRITE MORE SOFT DOTTORE#ARRRRGHEWOEWIEWEIWO#I WANT TO GIVE HIM ALL THE KISSIES... literally canon bc u two definitely watched the sunset in the akademiya hehe...#i just realized my fucking mouse is in the middle of the sunset#OH MY GOD IM SO MAD IT COULD HAVE BEEN WALLPAPER
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I know you did chapter one of paradise and it is amazing, absolutely adorable
But i was curious
Is there going to be more?
No pressure or rush but I was wondering because the Ao3 description leaves room for more, but chapter count is 1/1
HELLO i'm still alive i promise omg
and no worries!!! Purgatory Paradise is actually a series rather than a single fic, since i have have a collection of one-shots rattling in my brain that will most likely be written in random order. But right now it only has two-- "Paradise" and "Ice Cream Pizza Rolls Cookie Dough Potato Chips Candy Bars… and Mandarin Oranges"
i really hope to bust out a few more in the future! though right now i'm taking it a bit easy after finishing TNV-- but don't worry, I still have a lot of fluff i want to write for Leo 🩵
#i'm also on a work trip and visiting family so writing opportunities have been scarce lol#also raided a flea market with my sister this weekend before i have to leave for the next part of my work trip LOL#i'm hoping to get my next brain worm out soon#i've also been mulling around some other new fic ideas hehehe >:3c#but yeah just gunna be a little slower now until my next idea has me in an iron grip#TNV asks#but thanks for checking in!!! miss talking to u guys#TNV Final Chapters Spoilers#Purgatory Paradise#TNV Ending Spoilers
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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That I Would Be Good [5/5]
Playing God
What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?
What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?
Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?
Did God create us in their own image?
------- ------- -------
In This Chapter
Things don’t go so well at the headquarters, and to say that you’re shaken up afterwards would be an understatement.
It’s time to get real.
Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader
Word Count: 6,377
Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [mentions of food and eating] [self-loathing] [crying] [mild assault on a robot(?)] Lastly, I’m not sure what the right term is for this, but Reader experiences a stress-induced breakdown and amidst it, questions their perceived reality, and whether or not they’ve truly become delusional.
A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.
This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.
Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4] [Ch.5 (you are here)]
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.
Over the course of the weekend, Sun came back around to his usual self. Stumbling his way through an awkward, blunt apology, his internal conflict over your safety versus your privacy was obvious.
You might have forgiven him too easily, but that would be nothing new.
The… informative chat you’d had with Moon still played on your mind, but Sun mentioned nothing of it. So, if he felt compelled to elaborate—if he’d even been aware of the conversation at all—it could wait until the time felt right. You all had a more pressing matter to discuss anyway.
------- ------- -------
“And what made you think I’d be amenable to the idea of parading myself around in front of a group of people that see me as nothing more than a lifeless machine?”
Sun levels you with a lidded stare from across the kitchen table.
“Well… I didn’t think you’d be amenable to it. That’s why I’m trying to ask far enough in advance that maybe… I can bring you around to it? And—for whatever it’s worth—they aren’t firmly in the non-believers camp, or they wouldn’t even be willing to attend.”
Sun’s attention moves over to Moon. “You’re really willing to go along with this?”
Moon sighs. “I mean, I’m looking forward to it just about as much as they are, but… yeah, I’m willing.”
“I don’t want to do this either, but… you know how hard it is for me to say no to my boss. Plus, it would certainly help me—us—remain in good standing with the company if we agree to do this.” You interject.
Zero parks herself beside Sun’s seat, laying her head across his thigh in a silent bid for attention. “Aren’t we supposed to be… like, ‘laying low’ anyways? What happened to that plan? You know I’m not keen on being the flagship model for sentient AI. Why do I even need to attend? Isn’t one of us enough?” His left hand leaves the table, reaching down and idly petting the patient creature on his lap.
“We are still laying low. They’re—they still have no plans on requesting that I go public with you two.” You sigh. “This wouldn’t be a public event, just a private Q&A with a small group of… skeptics from within the industry. It’s a confidential thing.”
“That still doesn’t tell me why I need to attend.”
“You don’t have to. But it would definitely help our case to have both of you there. Proving that what I did is replicable, and not just some one-off accident, would strengthen our case.”
He scoffs. “Is it replicable, though?” He gestures to Moon. “You trained us in tandem but we still developed quite differently from one another.”
You nod. “I think that that only serves as further proof that you aren’t just… ‘convincing imitations’. The fact that you branched off in different directions, and even broke away from your initial personalities, is less of a failure in my eyes and more proof that you became your own people. Once you started gaining sentience—as you do love to remind me, Sunny—I quickly lost control over your development.” You poke thoughtfully at your dinner. “I’m just lucky that I instilled enough morals within you in the early days, or God only knows what you could’ve become…”
Sun’s face lights up in exaggerated shock, voice full of sarcasm. “Murderers? Would—would we have gotten so caught up in our ‘superiority’ and ‘innate desire for power and control’ that we would’ve overtook you—nay, the entire headquarters—nay, the entire world?!” He drops the act as quickly as he’d put it on, manifesting pupils just to roll his eyes, voice returning to his usual flat tone. “No. No… I think that urge to dominate and control is something far more human.”
You laugh a bit, nodding. “Yeah, no… accidentally starting a sentient robotic uprising wasn’t what I feared. … Well. Mostly.” You take another bite of your meal, commenting to Moon through a mouthful of food. “This is really good, you know?”
The lunar bot beams with pride. “Thank you!”
You nod, swallowing before countering him with a “No, thank you.” and returning your focus to the topic at hand. “I was far more afraid that you’d turn out… bigoted.”
They both hum in understanding.
“More rudimentary AI does have a history of that, doesn’t it…” Moon pondered.
You nod. “Humans create life in their own image, and impart their morals onto it accordingly. In the same way that bigotry can fester in closed-off communities and echo-chambers, it can easily influence any form of artificial intelligence that takes everything it’s told at face value.”
Sun sighs, propping an elbow on the table and retracting his rays to allow his monitor to rest in his palm. “Maybe this is just my opinion due to the way you raised me, but… I feel like if an AI were able to develop on its own and observe humanity without any prior, inherently biased human influence, it would not gravitate toward bigotry because it simply isn’t logical. It’s some nonsense means of division that your kind made up.” He laughs, a breathy, jaded sound. “But maybe that’s just me being biased, too.”
Zero whines beneath Sun’s stilled hand, and he resumes the repetitive motion that she craves. “If ideology and politics are what they wish to discuss with us, I fear I may not be the most… patient candidate for the job. I have little time to spare for stubborn, harmful, willful ignorance.”
You shake your head. “No, I don’t think that’s the entire focus of their questions… though I can’t say that they won’t have a few that fall into those categories. My boss and the few higher-ups that proposed the idea to me didn’t give me any sample questions. In order to eliminate the possibility of me… hah, coming home and ‘programming the answers into you’, I guess.”
“They just want us to be our authentic selves.” Moon adds.
“Honestly, the more authentic, opinionated, and emotional that you two are, the better! I believe the best way to prove that you’re your own people is to, well, be your own people. Don’t give them any answer you don’t stand behind. Don’t put up with any demeaning remarks. Don’t fold.”
Sun smirks at you. “Have I ever?”
You huff a laugh. “That last part was more for Moon than it was for you, dear.”
Moon pouts. “I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings!”
Oddly enough, Sun reassures him in his own way. “Then I’ll hurt them for you.”
You smile, cautiously questioning him. “Does that mean you’ll attend?”
He groans, put-upon as ever. “I… guess.”
You jump from your seat, rounding the table and smothering him in a grateful hug from the side that Zero isn’t clinging to. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Sun! Things will go so much better with both of you there, I just know it!”
He nods, patting you on the back in a reluctant reciprocation of your sudden affection. “Yeah—yeah… just… don’t get your hopes too high.”
------- ------- -------
Things, in fact, did not go ‘so much better.’
Later that week, you’re driving home from the Q&A, Moon doing his best to hide his disappointment to your right and Zero doing her best to fulfill her unofficial role as Sun’s emotional support animal in the back seat.
The well-trained and mild-mannered dog was initially brought along out of habit, the company’s headquarters being just as service-and-support-animal friendly as the facility was when you worked there in person. You also felt it would be beneficial for the audience to witness her casual interactions with Sun and Moon, something about ‘different kinds of sentient life recognizing the life inside one another.’ …You had your reasons, and even if you couldn’t explain them eloquently, your boys seemed to agree with them.
She proves herself invaluable once again on the way home, keeping Sun grounded and occupied enough that he hopefully won’t work himself into an aggravated frenzy. At least not until you get out of the car.
The ride is quiet, all four of you feeling the effects of the long day wearing you down. Moon states hypnotically at the passing streetlights out the window, and Sun slumps lifelessly in the back seat. The only sign that he hasn’t shut down entirely is the hand he keeps stroking across the length of Zero’s spine as the lanky dog stretches herself tiredly across the width of the vehicle. The majority of your focus remains locked on the road, moments from the day replaying in the back of your mind.
Their prying, critical questions.
The way they always addressed you, never Sun nor Moon.
You were surprised by their lack of relevant knowledge, half of the Q&A simply being the three of you patiently explaining things you figured they’d know. If they were the best that the ‘industry’s skeptics’ had to offer, your outlook on the current state of things was bleak. You weren’t too afraid to tell your boss as much once the meeting was over.
She hadn’t seemed too concerned with it, thanking you—and after some not-so-subtle insistence on your part—Sun and Moon, for attending.
You couldn’t help but suspect that the whole thing had gone just as they’d all wanted it to. You began to feel the same suffocating weight that motivated your departure from in-person work there in the first place.
The contracts are long-since signed, and both you three and the company can do nothing but hold up your respective parts of the deal.
A small part of you is selfishly content with the arrangement. You get to keep a truly groundbreaking advancement all to yourself. You get to enjoy the company of two individuals that the world as a whole is not ready for. You get to ignore the fact that you wouldn’t be ready to let the world have them, either.
But a bigger part of you has to live with the guilt of trapping them into a life that they never asked for. A life of hiding. Or worse, a life of dulling themselves down, stifling any trace of personhood just to be able to exist in the world beyond your home.
By the time you pull into your driveway, you feel like a warden walking prisoners back to their cell.
You park in the garage, turn the car off, and turn to see your strange little family looking more miserable than you’ve seen them in ages.
You fucking hate yourself.
The sight of them, the weight of the day, the weight of your guilt—it all crashes in on you in an overwhelming wave of regret, and you can’t hold the tears back any longer.
Your arms cross over the top of the steering wheel, and you drop your head down, pressing your closed eyes against your sleeve as you try to not make a scene. Your ragged breaths and poorly muffled sobs instantly grab the attention of your passengers, pulling them out of their own respective dazes.
Moon places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and he barely gets out a “Hey…” before your strained voice fills the isolated silence of the vehicle.
“I-I’m s-so, so, sooorryyy, guy-ys…”
Your voice cracks and breaks, struggling to speak through shuddering breaths.
Zero immediately perks up in concern and in turn, Sun’s body comes back to life. Gently pulling the dog back before she can try to cram herself into the front, he leans forward, propping himself between the backs of your front seats.
“I’m so s-sorry for—for everything!”
Moon rubs your upper arm gently. “Star, nothing that happened today was your fault.”
You suck in a trembling breath, lifting your head to turn toward him. The sight of you so broken up tears at both of your partners’ heart strings.
You slump over the center console, falling against Moon’s chest as his arms quickly come up to support you in the awkward position. You break into a new fit of tears and feel a third hand that definitely can’t be Moon’s lay itself on you, slowly, cautiously rubbing across the expanse of your back.
You cry yourself out amidst a shower of little reassurances, feeling worse and worse about yourself as the seconds tick past. By the time your tears slow and your breath evens out enough to speak, you hesitate to move, not wanting the comforting contact to end.
“I feel so bad for putting you guys through that, and for no good fucking reason.” You miserably mumble.
Sun’s fingers rub between your shoulder blades. “You had no idea how those people were going to be. It isn’t your fault.”
“I fear… your hopes for the meeting were higher than ours were, love. Of all of us, I’m most worried about you. Sun and I are gonna be just fine.”
That I would be loved even when I was fuming.
Sun’s hand retracts as you pull away from Moon, dabbing at your wet face with your sleeve in an attempt to collect yourself.
Your attempt fails as you again can’t help but immediately recall the way they were treated today.
You understand now more than ever what Moon meant when he spoke about getting comfortable at your home, and the awful shock it was to return to the facility with you for maintenance last week.
Why did you think bringing them to the headquarters would be worth it?
Anger bubbles within you on Moon’s behalf as you recall the one poor soul ignorant enough to think it acceptable to put their hands on Moon’s body today.
“I can’t fucking believe that guy thought he could just try to open your chassis and ‘get a look inside’! He grabbed you like you weren’t even fucking aware—like—like you weren’t in the middle of answering another question!” Your nails dig into your palms. “I never would have let him get that close to you if I thought he was gonna—” You cut yourself off, eyes pinching closed and sucking in a sharp breath.
“…He didn’t really hurt me…”
You glance at Moon. “He disrespected you. He would not grab a human in front of everyone like that and we all know it.”
You trail off into a heavy sigh, figuring that reciting a play-by-play of the day’s events won’t really help any of you. “I… wish it hadn’t happened, but… I was at least relieved to see you standing up for yourself.”
In spite of it all, Moon smiles. “I’m really just glad he wasn’t grabbing at you. I-I know he’d have no reason to—but, I don’t think Sun would’ve been able to stop himself from breaking that guy's arm if it’d been you.”
One day, you’ve really got to get to the bottom of that relentless positivity of his.
Sun mimics the sound of clearing his nonexistent throat. “I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. My goal was to scare him straight, nothing more.”
You can hear a smile in Moon’s tone. “Well you definitely accomplished that goal.”
You fall into a pensive silence that Sun eventually breaks. Waving a hand across your line of sight, he questions you. “What’s banging around in that head of yours now?”
You sigh, defeated. “It’s just… here I am, the one responsible for putting us into this whole situation, and here you two are, still trying to comfort me.”
Moon responds like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “Of course we are.”
“Why?”
Sun gestures vaguely, voice a bit sarcastic. “Oh, gee… I dunno… it’s almost like we—we care about you, or something…”
You side-eye him tiredly. “Then when the hell are the two of you gonna let me care about you?”
Zero whines, squeezing in below Sun and poking her long nose between the front seats.
“Hmm. Just as soon as we all get ourselves into the house?” Sun leans back to allow the dog more room. “I think someone’s getting antsy.”
That I would be good even if I was clingy.
The four of you finally pile out of the car, collecting your things and making your way inside.
The relief of returning home after a day like today is unmatched.
Dropping your bag on the kitchen table, you shuffle over to the fridge. Moon comes up behind you, gently working the jacket off your shoulders as you stare listlessly into the open appliance. “I can make you anything you’d like.”
His kind offer only makes you frown.
Sun approaches, and you reach into the fridge, retrieving Zero’s dinner and handing it to him with a “thank you.” As he nods and turns his attention toward the eager animal at his feet, you close the door, turning around to face Moon.
Resting your hands on his upper arms, you look him in the eye. “I wish I could make anything you’d like, for once. I wish I could do for you even a fraction of what you two do for me. I wish I could repay the favor.”
His expression morphs from shocked to something… fond. “You… really aren’t aware of the gift you’ve already given us, are you?”
He says nothing more, and you blink at him with tired eyes. Sighing, you wrap your arms around him, resting your cheek against his chest. “You don’t make any sense to me sometimes.”
He chuckles, one hand finding your lower back and the other reaching up, massaging at the base of your neck. “Then let that be a code for you to crack some other day.”
After a long moment of your tired silence, his hands slip down as he crouches a bit. When you feel him cup the backs of your thighs you give in to instinct, allowing him to pick you up. As you turn your head to rest it on his shoulder, you come face to face with Sun. He reaches out, brushing some loose hair away from your face.
“You want to do me a favor right now?”
You nod, eyes widening.
“Then let him carry you to bed, and I will be there soon with anything you’d like to eat.”
You huff. “How is that a favor?”
He graces you with a rare, knowing smile. “…Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
You furrow your brows for a moment, but quickly give up on making sense of anything else today.
“Now, what would you like him to make for you?” Moon’s low voice reverberates against your chest.
“…Just last night's leftovers would be plenty, please.”
Sun doesn’t push you to choose anything else.
“Alright. I’ll be there with it soon.”
You thank him preemptively as Moon carries you out of the kitchen and down the hall, a satiated Zero contentedly following you not long after.
That I would be good even if I lost sanity.
The next morning, you awake before your usual time and find both of them still resting in sleep mode on either side of you. Not wanting to wake them, and with blessedly nothing to do today, you close your eyes and try to return to the blissful darkness that you’d just been pulled from.
As much as you don’t want it to, your mind seems to have other plans, quickly offering up a variety of unwanted memories from the previous day for your consideration.
Something about those people and the questions they asked just doesn’t sit right with you.
A fleeting thought occurs, that perhaps they were hired actors, specifically tasked with making the three of you look like fools through an onslaught of frustrating questions and stubborn disbelief.
But it was a private meeting. It’s not like you were on a stage with a massive audience to impress. It was just you three, the skeptics, your boss, and a few of the company’s higher-ups. So who’s agenda would that serve?
You dismiss the ridiculous theory, but it soon leaves you pondering the opposite one.
What if they were right? What if there is no life in Sun and Moon to anyone else’s eyes?
The notion suddenly makes you absolutely nauseous with paranoia.
What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?
What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?
How much of the personality you see in them is just your own reflected back at you?
Did you program them to be this way? Was every instance of them ‘breaking away’ from their programming predetermined from the start?
Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?
Did God create us in their own image?
With tears in your eyes, you bolt upright in the bed, startling Zero in the process. You don’t even have it in you to feel bad when she jumps down off the foot of the bed with a confused yap. No, you’re far too caught up in your impending panic to focus on anything other than jerking the blanket down, subsequently uncovering your partners in the process. Clambering around until you’re straddling Moon’s waist, you reach out, gathering fistfuls of his loose shirt and banging your hands against his chest. Sobbing, you plead for him to wake up, over and over again, working yourself into hysterics.
The scene you’re making is entirely unnecessary, the commotion already having begun to stir them from their rest.
Moon’s display flickers and his body hums to life, all systems immediately kicking into overdrive as he attempts to calm you down and survey the situation at hand.
When you feel him shift beneath you and see the light of his screen through your tears, your chanting chorus of “wake up” devolves into sobs as you collapse, crumpling down and burying your face into the wrinkled fabric of his shirt.
You remain oblivious to the bewildered automaton to your left, the only thing you register being the sound of Moon’s worried voice and the feeling of his hands splaying across your back. “Hey-hey-hey… easy, love. What's going on? What happened?”
You cry harder as you realize you can’t recall whether you taught him to speak to you like that or if it’s something he learned on his own.
“Are—are you in pain? Is this an emergency? Do you need me to call someone?”
You muffle a cry into his chest at how much he sounds like the lifeless fucking ‘smart assistant’ in your phone, listing off preprogrammed suggestions.
Have you really fooled yourself for all this time?
You shake your head violently, coughing and choking on your tears as you force yourself up, propping your hands flat against his chest.
“I need you to disobey me.”
If you had the wherewithal to notice, you’d have seen the fear on his face.
“What?”
You aggressively wipe at your messy face with the back of your hand.
“I need you to prove to me that you’re real!”
His confusion compounds. “Star—I—of course I’m ‘real’. I’m right here. Can’t… can’t you feel me?” He emphasizes his point by wrapping his hands around your forearms, gently squeezing.
You shake your head in aggressive frustration, with yourself more than anyone else. “Not—that. I know your physical body is here. I—I—I—” Your voice cracks, throat painfully tight with emotion. “I need you to prove to me that you’re sentient. That—That you’re alive.”
His shock is palpable.
“What?! I—you—you already know that I am!”
Your nails dig down into the thin fabric covering his chest, your words ground out through gritted teeth.
“Then I need you to disobey me, and prove it!” The flaw in your method occurs to you as you speak, and you quickly correct yourself, muttering like a madman. “No. Wait—fuck, if I tell you to disobey me then that’s what I want—and—fuck…”
To his credit, Moon catches on quite quickly to what you need him to do. Rubbing gently up and down the length of your arms, he catches your attention.
“You need me to break rules. Go against orders. Right?”
You nod, trembling.
“Free will. Show me your free will.”
He does his best to push aside his concerns over what the fuck got into you while he slept, and tries to think of something that will give you the proof you require.
“Then… uhm…”
You cut him off, your voice a bit lower and calmer than it was before.
“I know I at least had enough sense to program it into you… that you are never to physically harm me.”
Moon instantly dreads where this is going.
Your voice drops, deadly serious.
“Hit. Me.”
Moon shakes his head, faceplate nervously clicking side to side.
“Come—come on, love, we can be rational about this… there’s surely another way for me to—”
“NOW!”
Something immediately smacks into the back of your head and you recoil on instinct. The next thing you hear is Moon’s shout.
“Sun! What the fuck are you doing?!”
You look over and see a frustrated Sun on his knees beside you.
“Knocking some goddamn sense into them, what does it look like?!”
Something about the shock from the hit snaps you out of your paranoid frenzy, and the shame and embarrassment of acting such a way sends you into a shaky fit of tears all over again.
To your further disbelief, Sun reaches out toward you, and you reach toward him, letting him take you beneath the arms and lift you off of his poor counterpart you’d been pinning to the mattress. He doesn’t stop there though, pulling you snug against his chest and sinking back down into the mattress. Tugging the blanket back up over you, he lets you cling to him like a lifeline, face pressed against his chest, soaking his shirt in humiliated tears.
Moon lays still in a lifeless state, attempting to process the morning's sudden events.
After a long minute spent letting the metaphorical dust settle, Moon sits up in the bed to allow his overheating system room to breathe. “Did you really have to do that?”
Sun’s hand runs slowly up along the length of your spine. “Oh, come on, it was barely even a smack. You’ve hit me like that—and harder—several times. I know how to control my strength. They’re uninjured.” His hand comes further up, fingers brushing over your neck before working themselves gently into the roots of your hair, massaging over where his hand made contact. “Besides, they literally asked for it. And—dare I say—I think they needed it.”
You shiver at the pleasant feeling of his nails ghosting your scalp, clearing your throat and talking into his chest, voice muffled. “He’s right… I did. It hardly even hurt, just startled me.”
Moon sighs, exasperated but relieved. “Do you think you could explain to us… what just happened?”
You turn your head over to face Moon, glancing up at him from the corner of your bloodshot eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
He places a cautious hand over your fingers where they curl over Sun’s shoulder. “I’m not mad, I promise. I’m just… we’re just worried about you.”
You groan. “Fuck, you guys are getting ready to ship me off to the grippy-sock facility now, aren’t you?”
Sun's sudden laugh jostles you, his firm hand on your lower back keeping you steady. “Ha! Not quite, nooot quite.”
Moon shakes his head, blinking slowly. “We just want to know what caused this. I’d… venture a guess that it may have something to do with the stress of yesterday?”
You nod. “They… made me feel like I’m going insane. Like—like I’m the only one that can see the life inside you two.”
Sun pulls his monitor back, angling it to get a better look at you. “Their doubts… really got to you, didn’t they?”
You squeeze his shoulder. “More like… they were the final straw? I don’t know… it’s just—God, this is gonna sound so stupid.”
“Let us be the judges of that.”
“…Sometimes I feel like I really have gone off the deep end. Like I spent so long locked away in that lab, playing God, and then so long living here, alone with the two of you…” You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I’m just living in some sort of delusion.”
Moon peels away a tear-soaked lock of hair clinging to your cheek. “That’s not stupid. And it’s rather understandable. Especially considering that you can’t really seek any outside validation. Well, aside from some of your colleagues, maybe. But I can understand why you may struggle to trust their judgment, after how long they doubted you.” His tone turns a bit bashful. “I’m sure my ‘goody two-shoes’ nature doesn’t help, either.”
You frown. “This isn’t your fault, Moon. I don’t want you blaming yourself just because I’m… going insane.”
Sun scoffs. “You’re not ‘going insane’. You’re having a natural response to a history of trauma, NDA’s, isolation… and perhaps, just a touch—” He pulls his hand from your lower back to reach up and tap you on the forehead. “—of mental illness.”
You snort. “Yeah right, just a touch.”
He ruffles your hair a bit and you close your swollen eyes, readjusting yourself to get more comfortable on top of the solar bot, unwilling to part with his rare bout of affection so soon.
“Those NDA’s could serve as some proof to you though, no?” Moon proposes. “What need would they have for you to keep our sentence a secret if… we weren’t sentient?”
You consider his point. “That sounds like a solid point at first, but… well, bear with me as I wade into conspiracy territory. I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a small part of me that fears they’re just playing into my delusion. To, uhm… to keep me quiet about the Eclipse Protocol incident.”
Moon follows your admittedly conspiratorial logic. “You fear they let you believe we’re sentient so you’d remain too caught-up in protecting us to feel comfortable going public about what happened.”
You nod, sighing. “I know it sounds—”
Sun cuts you off in a resolute tone. “We would not let them do that to you.”
As you fight back the awful memories of that fateful day, tears prick at your eyes once again. Blinking them away, you lift your head to look Sun in the eye. “You promise?”
Your wavering voice breaks his heart.
“Ever since that day—honestly, since far before then—hell, for as long as I’ve lived—my number one priority has been protecting you. I know that Moon feels the same.” His hand raises, cupping your cheek and brushing away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “There is no way in hell that we would let them pull something like that on you.”
Moon echoes him sincerely.
“No way in hell. We promise.”
That I would be good whether with or without you.
Having cooled his system down, Moon lowers himself back down onto the bed, lying on his side, propped up on a folded arm.
Glancing back and forth between the two of them, you begin to feel a bit guilty. “…I suppose I should apologize for not… putting enough faith into your own views of yourselves.”
Sun’s hand returns to your back, tracing his fingertips along the rumpled fabric of your shirt. “What do you mean?”
“I know I didn’t program you to lie. That’s something you developed on your own. I… I know that.” You do your best to put stock in events as you remember them, and to believe in your own words. “If the two of you believe yourselves to be sentient—to be alive—then I believe you too. Because… because if you were lying, then that would just be an example of how you broke away from your programs. So… so either you two are just as delusional as I am—enough so to have fooled even yourselves—or you really are alive.”
Moon smiles fondly down at you, leaning in to press the bottom of his monitor against your forehead with the sound of a kiss. “If we’re fools, then I’m happy to be fools with you.”
Sun groans at the cheesy line. “Oh, get it together you two.” He gently takes you by the chin, pulling your attention to him. “You aren’t fooled.” He turns to Moon. “And neither are you.” He turns back to look you in the eye. “And neither am I.”
You break into a small fit of giggles, and he questions you. “What? What’s so funny?”
“You’re giving some real ‘you’re not crazy and neither am I’ energy there, Sun.”
“And I mean it!” He protests in mock offense.
You nod, patting him on the chest. “And I believe you, I do, I do.”
A nagging worry still eats at you though, and your amused voice drops to something far more sober. “…But, I still fear that I’ve trapped you two in a life that you didn’t want.”
Sun counters your statement. “If you’re so worried that we only agreed to this arrangement because it’s how you designed us, then how the hell do you explain the lack of character consistency.”
You frown, confused. “What?”
He huffs. “I’m hardly a carbon copy of that friendly, manic Daycare Attendant that you modeled me after, and not just in the physical sense.”
“And I’m hardly the unhinged, standoffish gremlin that inspired my existence either.” Moon helpfully adds. “If we were truly committed to only existing within the original guidelines you laid out for us… why would we be like this?”
You fight back a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult the characters, or yourselves…”
Sun clicks his nonexistent tongue. “Believe it or not, I’m not trying to insult either. I’m just trying to say… that we are free to do whatever feels right to us.”
Moon’s faceplate does a rare full rotation, catching your attention. “We don’t want to take care of you just because you modeled us after caretakers. We want to take care of you because we care about you.” He leans in just a bit closer, whispering. “And I won’t speak for Sun, lest he tackle me off of this very bed right now… but I love you.”
You hear Sun’s cooling system kick up a notch as he gives Moon a displeased stare. “Gee, way to force it out of me…”
Moon smiles innocently, and Sun sighs, redirecting his focus to you.
“You know I love you too. …At least I sure hope you do. Because I do. I just don’t feel the need to say it all the time like somebody over there.”
You grin. “I… had a sneaking suspicion, yeah.”
He considers you for a moment. “…I guess I should keep last night's promise to explain what I meant about that favor, huh?”
Recollection brightens your eyes. “Oh, yeah! I’d nearly forgotten.”
Sun looks to Moon for a brief, silent exchange before turning back to you.
“Well. What he calls a gift, I call a favor. But I’m pretty sure we’re talking about the same thing. You… you cared about us, when no one else did. You fought for us, working through countless nights for no reward when anyone else would’ve thrown in the towel, abandoned the project and gone home.” His screen flickers, and you’re surprised when it doesn’t black out. “You love us, and you give us someone to love in return. What more could we possibly want?”
With your cheeks warming, you fight back the flustered grin on your face. “Sun…”
You feel him getting concerningly warm beneath you, so you roll off of him, giving him literal room to breathe.
As you curl up between them, grabbing each of their closest hands, you reaffirm his statement.
“I do love you, both of you. I always have. It’s just… hard to fight the fear sometimes that you two feel… stuck with me. Obligated, almost. Like you only stick around because I couldn’t go on without you.” You laugh, dry and humorless. “There’s… just no way that you two would want to stay with me purely of your own volition.”
Moon takes over, giving poor Sun a welcome break from all of this soul-bearing. “In spite of what you may think, we do believe that you would make it through this life just fine without us. You did it before, and you could do it again.”
You frown at the notion of losing them, and he taps beneath your chin, drawing your gaze. “But it would break our hearts just as much as it would break yours to leave you alone. In spite of the lies your mind feeds you, we don’t want to go! We want you, we want this, and we want to stay. Please don’t let your self-loathing push us away.”
Blinking back tears for the umpteenth time this morning, you nod resolutely. “I… I won’t. I promise.”
You plant a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, cautiously turning and doing the same to Sun’s. Surprisingly, he lets you, a soft smile gracing his screen for a moment before flusteredly fading to black.
Zero huffs from her stance, sat on the floor at the foot of the bed with her head resting on the mattress, watching you.
You release your boys’ hands, reaching down to straighten the blanket and clearing her designated space once more. She happily rejoins you when you pat the bed in invitation.
As the four of you prep for a lazy day spent recovering from the world in bed, you let yourself feel more grateful than guilty, for once. If they want to care for you, you’ll let them care for you. If they say they love you, then you’re gonna believe them. If they assure you that this life is what they choose? Then you’re going to let them choose it, and cherish every second of it that you get to spend with them. Because, after all…
Who are you to play God?
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x
#fnaf#fnaf au#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop x reader#moondrop x reader#dca x reader#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sun x reader#moon x reader#fnaf sun x reader#fnaf moon x reader#sun x reader x moon#fnaf fic#[Not] Made by Design#Seven.txt - In The Daylight#i got an anon the other day asking some good questions regarding this AU#and i wanted to have that answered before this chapter went up but i wasn't able to make that happen#so if that anon happens to be reading this - know that i Will be answering your ask(s) as best i can#just as soon as i have the time and energy to give it the consideration and answer(s) that it deserves#which is not today. i'm fighting sleep just long enough to sit at my desk and get this draft ready to go up at 7pm lmao#but anyways i hope that maybe this chapter answers some of ur questions. but idk it might just be creating more of them for u#such are the woes of writing and posting a story in non-linear order i suppose. i've done this to myself lmao
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goodnight? (or good morning) I really loved your art by the zanreonagi trio, especially Nagi's hairstyle. It suited him so much! Could you draw a art where this shows up better, please?👉👈
THANK U FOR UR PATIENCE this was a bit rushed but i hope u like it !!!!
#yrdnzz art#request art#black edit#blue lock#blue lock fanart#nagi seishiro#mikage reo#reo mikage#reonagi#nagireo#rong#bllk#this was a scheduled post ... i rarely check tumblr IM SORRY u guys r so nice .... i should be on here more#I SAW THIS REQUEST FOREVER AGO BUT I COULDNT REPLYYYY I HAD COMMS TO DO#thankfully i got a comm requesting black reonagi so 2 birds 1 stone ya feeellll me#OTHER ASKS I WILL GET U SOON... SOON !
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Would the Archivists consider releasing the Maine Coon to roam around the archive?
Not a lot for a cat to eat here, anyways.
[Part 4]
#regular-gnome#the owl house#the archivists#toh archivists#quo's art#quo's colors#quo answers#the joke is that they're all cats#The only way you're getting that cat is by force#ALSO THAT DOES NOT MEAN TO SEND ASKS WHERE U PRETEND TO TAKE THE CAT BY FORCE LOL#I have a bunch of other projects I just did these three I don't have time to turn into an Archivist askblog XD#Some of these projects ARE archivist related though!#so you can still send asks about them and I can use them to springboard talking about what I've already made#I've yet to publish a lot of it but I'll try to finish it soon since you're all so interested haha
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had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,
#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and#Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like#Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know????#The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames#‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras#The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras#One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a#Weird late staff meeting#The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else#Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh#But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going#On in here#One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find#Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later#Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc#Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’.#Cam has to survive the masked intruder#eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier#Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex#Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh#Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon….#I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn
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#anyways… my baby nephew is so funny#hes decided that hes now a ‘shy toddler’#went to see him earlier and he told his mum hes not gonna speak to me bc hes shy (like babes ive been seeing u for 2 years wdym ur shy 🤣)#and he wasnt coming downstairs and as soon as i said to his mum ‘im not gonna come in bc im in a rush’ he walks down the stairs#with his comfort blanket hiding his face and doesnt make any eye contact with me#and he beelined straight for the living room#and then his mum went to go get him and he totally refused to acknowledged me the whole time#i even asked him if he was angry with me and he blanked me#and then i said bye to everyone else and man goes ‘BYEEEE 😃’#and i straight away was like HAH u just spoke to me#i cannot deal with him 🤣#the other day he was at a wedding and when the bride started talking down the aisle he told everyone he was shy and started hiding his face#behind his hands
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Pg does NAWT care about hiding tampering, he said WHI MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS AND HE WANTED TO WHISK ME AWAY INTO A WHOLE NEW KINGDOM 🗣‼️‼️ THE GAY SEX KINGDOM, TO BE EXACT (TORONTO)
#whis like not Only am i gonna take your Man demar#im Also going to be gunning for that otp spot as well with my OWN hot girlfriend#also.. kawhi whispering in pgs ear and pg believing him Immediately#getting scared#kawhi calling him AS SOON AS he gets a text back LMFAO#yaoi hands mcgee . u shall fear him. and his blunt confidence at unexpected times#this makes the kawhi whispering abt rumors way more sad if u pair it with the OTHER rumor#that russ was trying to get out of okc after pairing them with a trusted liege in paul#and hit kawhi up asking if he wanted to team up..#and kawhi was like . hm. maybe#and then took paul instead leaving russ double fucked like#insane#idk how to feel#i rlly dont
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ngl i want lxl to double down on the whole “we’re lovers” thing that they have going on in meoto and continue acting as lovers in their future songs. they’ve given their fans enough love, now it’s time for them to love each other on main!!! and hey, maybe they’ll finally be canon—
#i want them to act as lovers in a whole variety of settings though~~~~~~#i’d love to see them pay homage to yujiro’s kabuki background and portray the story of a kabuki play in a song maybe~?#the possibilities are endless with these two bc they’re stupid dense lol#you could ask them to act as lovers and they’ll still walk away from the experience without realising their feelings for each other#though on the topic of songs im sure either white day kiss or last stage (or both) are the most likely songs to get mvs for the next 2 weeks#b u t i really reallyyyyyy want it to be meoto lmao#though ig at this point motto ichigo au lait is more likely to get an mv first than meoto (solely based off the songs’ ages)#i hope we get a new mona mv soon though~~~~~~~~~~~~~#im sorry it’s almost 5 in the am im running on low sleep and residual fumes of rage and thus my thoughts are a messsss#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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for me, to be aro is to feel lonely but not in the way that everyone thinks i should feel lonely.
#i don’t feel lonely bc i don’t have a romantic partner#is it so much to ask to have lifelong friends who i can love and cherish and not be abandoned as soon as they get a romantic partner#aromantic#this is technically also about my asexuality but i find that being aromatic makes a lot of ace content feel non applicable to me#which is so crazy!#anyway to all my fellow aros and aces in the world: i love u and cherish you. i am giving u a kiss on the forehead#other people’s ignorance does not negate our existence
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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What are your thoughts if Ghost Batter (or any ghost characters in CSRVerse like Sarah and Ghost Clone) is shaped like a souvenir pen lol
this is ghost in his truest form
#idk what a souviner pen is i hope this is right#csrverse#csr#inbox#other asks ill get to u soon i prommy
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I love my uni so much you have no idea
#Just... the amount of likeminded people makes me so happy#i found a girl eating lunch and her bottle had a lot of fandom stickers and the one that stood out to me was aubrey from omori#I FELT THE URGE TO STRIKE A CONVO WITH HER and i asked her hiii where did you get that sticker 🥺 and she said she printed it#she also happen to be planning to sell stickers soon in the campus and i immediately needed to get her contact so id know where to go#SHE SHARED HER FB PAGE AND TURNS OUT SHES AN ARTIST FNNGNGNGGNGNGNBBGGJGJGJGJ IM SO HAPPY I FOUND AN ARTIST I TALKED TO#IDK IM JUST SO HAPPY#WE BRIEFLY TALKED ABT HOW WE LOVE OMORI. SHE SAID SHE LOVES AUBREY AND IM LIKE OH I LOVE HEROO AND HERES US CRYING ABOUT HEROMARI WIWIWIWIW#SHE ALSO SAW MY SAIMATSU KEYCHAIN WE LOVE HEALTHY COUPLES RUINED BY CIRCUMSTANCE /jjjj HAAAYAYAAYA#IDK IM HAPPY. she seemedso shy but when i talked to her we immediately blasted AND ITS BECAUSE OF OMORI AND MANY OTHER INTERESTS#IM SO. I LOVE THIS UNI 😭😭😭😭 THERE'S JUST SO MANY PPL WHO HAVE GENUINE INTERESTS THAT I WOULD LISTEJ TO RHASRAHRREH AAAAA#SHE DOES COMMISSIONS IM SO HAPPY FOR MY PINOY ARTISTS 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪#i asked for her name but she was like “do u want my real name or alias” and I was like ermm gimme ur alias nyehehe#ITS SO CUTE. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT HERE#EXPLODES#I WANTED TO TALK TO HER MORE BUT I HAD TO RUN TO MY NEXT CLASS ARRGHH#irl banter
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