#OR i mean. we've all Been There for when the mean girls know what slurs to call you before you do
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there's a bathroom in mickey's room -> mickey's room is the master bedroom -> terry must have "allowed" (read: decided) this, and probably framed it as an incredible privilege -> in practice it's actually just a built in lack of privacy for mickey since the bathroom is treated as communal, meaning anyone can go into his room at any time without warning to get to the bathroom inside
#jack facts#i know the doylist explanation for how terry seems to particularly target mandy and mickey#is just that they're the only two milkoviches who are focal characters#but watson's perspective on it is soooooo juicy#like ok he targets mandy because she's a girl and because she looks like their mom. makes sense.#but why does he target mickey pre-3.06?#is it because he must also look like their mom given how much he and mandy look alike?#it's a good bet; only the two of them really look like that#tony and [?] have dark hair but are beefy with blunt features like terry + iggy and [?] are thin but blond#OR i mean. we've all Been There for when the mean girls know what slurs to call you before you do#and in many cases they don't really know those words genuinely apply they just Happen to be an applicable insult#for whatever esoteric fucking reason that people recognize someone is Different#(and in the opposite way how we Different folks tend to stick together even before we know why)#anyway. you know what i'm implying here.#shameless#mickey milkovich#hc#abuse
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summary A sleepy morning with cuddly Sam.
word count 820
There's few things you're always ready to spend money on. One of them is a funfair. The overall vibe, the attractions, the food and just the nostalgia of being a kid is exactly the reason you loved them so much. So, when you were out a few days ago and saw posters all over town advertising an upcoming funfair you already marked your calendar.
Today is a free day; no case, no research to be done – nothing. And also the day of the funfair. You're a bit embarrassed over just how excited you are, barely able to fall asleep yesterday and now awake at seven in the morning. You desperately try to go back to sleep so as not to disturb Sam, who's deep asleep next to you with his hair spread out around his head like a halo and his left arm snug around you.
But your attempt to keep calm seems to have failed when he groans and squints at you, “Baby?” he slurs half-awake. You wince apologetically and turn onto your side, “Sorry, didn't mean to wake you,” you whisper back.
He mumbles something incorrigible and then yawns heartily, free hand pushing hair out of his face before falling back into his stomach. “'s okay, hun,” he mumbles to stop you from feeling guilty and turns his head, smiling tiredly.
“We should sleep some more, it's barely eight in the morning, Sam..” he just waves his hand in dismissal and heaves himself onto his side, supported on his elbow. You can see the slight redness in his eyes from just waking up but his soft smile distracts you anyway.
“Why are you awake this early, pretty girl?” he lowly muses, letting his other hand rest on your cheek, thumb running under your eye. The pet name paired with the soft actions and the sight of him makes you melt and scoot forward to tangle your legs between his, throwing an arm over his waist.
“I'm excited,” you admit, sheepish as you push the hand on his back under his shirt to warm it up and at the same time give him a back rub. A soft frown of confusion settles on his face – which you immediately soothe away with a thumb smoothing out the wrinkle between his neat brows – and he makes a soft ‘oh’ sound.
“Excited for what? We don't have any plans today?” You can see the flicker of dread on his face as he passes through the possibility of a forgotten date or anniversary, making you snort softly. “We do. I made plans for us.” He raises his brows but doesn't intervene, letting you finish explaining. “There's a funfair in town.. I really want to go there with you and Dean.”
You bite your lip as you await his reaction, not expecting at all when he just snorts and pulls you even closer, pressing a kiss to your head. “That's why you've been in such a good mood?” he chuckles, bemused.
You pout a bit at his humorous reaction, making him lean down to kiss you shortly, “Don't pout. I wasn't mocking you, sweetheart. Of course we'll go with you.”
Grinning, you pull him into another kiss, this time deeper but still rushed from the excitement coursing through you. He chases after your lips when you pull away too early for his liking, simply pushing you down into the mattress with one big hand when you attempt to squirm away.
“We've got plenty of time before we can go.” He murmurs against your jaw, nipping there once before moving down lower to your throat and leaving similar small bites on your soft skin. He's making sure not to mark you up too much, instead pulling the collar of your shirt down to decorate your collarbones and shoulders with actual love bites and hickeys.
Sighing in mock annoyance you slip your hand out of his shirt and into his hair, tugging at the long strands which just makes him grunt in contentment.
You close your eyes again and play with his soft hair while he leaves marks all over you, soothing each new one with a bout of kisses. His arm is tight enough around your waist that you know he intends for you to lay still and take whatever he'll give – which you don't mind in the least.
After a few minutes he stops and lays his head on your chest, tip of his nose a bit cold from the room being chilly as he tucks it against your throat to keep breathing in your perfume and natural scent.
“Back to sleep?” you guess quietly, already pulling the duvet higher around his shoulders and sinking your hand back into those brown locks to scratch at his scalp the way he loves. He grunts in acknowledgement, arm momentarily tightening around you.
“Good idea.”
#supernatural#jared padalecki#jared padalecki x reader#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester#moose#supernatural cw#supernatural x reader
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yard work - chapter 9 (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
warnings(s): use of the d-slur, the one for lesbians. use of the q-slur, the one that’s been taken back.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 10
You lost track of time, mind consumed by Regina's mouth on yours. The feel of her lips, her hands playing with the hairs at the back of your neck, made you tingle. You didn't know much about actual technique when it came to kissing, but taking cues from and mirroring Regina seemed to work. When she opened her mouth and bit your bottom lip, you chanced a little tongue. Met with welcome, the kiss deepened. The sensations had you shivering, hands gripping tightly at Regina's waist.
"Bed, now," Hazy and a little slow, you chased Regina when she pulled away, making a pathetic little sound at the loss of her. She stood up and pulled you with her, roughly pushing you onto your back. Sprawled on the bed, you could only watch as she climbed over you. Soon, her lips descended down on yours again and your eyes blinked shut.
Then, startling you like a bucket of cold water thrown onto you, her hands snuck under your shirt. Her nails brushed at your ribs and you, despite the nervous excitement bubbling, began to feel apprehensive.
"Reg," You mumbled, hands moving from her shoulders to her upper arms. "Reg, I- hold on."
"What?" She kissed down your cheeks to your neck.
"Hold on, I-" Your breath hitched, the tickle of her lips in such a sensitive place hindering your ability to speak. "I don't wanna have sex."
As if shaken from a trance, Regina pulled away abruptly. Her hands slid out of your shirt and rested on either side of your torso, looming above you. The dim, warm tinted lamp light from the nightstand made her hair, hanging around you, seem like a halo. Or a canopy.
"You don't want to have sex." She said, voice a little hoarse and eyes betraying something until she pulled the shutters closed. "You're lucky I'm letting you get this far."
You stared up at her, stunned. "What? Letting me? You're on top of me."
"I know you want this. You've been wanting this for a long time. I've seen the way you look at me, the way you act around me." She spoke fast as if she was trying to convince both you and herself.
Panic was beginning to constrict around your throat. It took a while to find your voice.
"Reg, I'm sorry, but-"
"You should be sorry." She crawled away from on top of you and stood up. You leaned up on your elbows to keep looking at her. "You should be so sorry."
"I- I am," You tried to reassure her, tried to hold down your own hurt. "I just thought this was a little fast."
She rolled her eyes at you, though the action seemed jilted. "You've been pining the whole time we've been friends, I'd say it's been long enough. And now, when you have all you want offered to you, you reject it."
"Is this what this is about? Rejection? Regina, I just meant not yet."
"You're so fucking full of yourself." She accused, pointing a finger at you. The whole display was made weaker by the glistening in her eyes and the redness covering her from neck to ears.
"You think you can walk into my life, cause all sorts of chaos, take my family from me, and then reject me?" She hissed, gesturing with her arms all the while. You swallowed, unsure of what you should do.
She was firing insults at you and the only thing you could think to do was sit there and take it.
"Chaos? I'm not trying to take your family from you, Reggie, where's this coming from?" You stood up, feeling too awkward to be on the bed.
"You think I haven't seen the way you act around my mom or my sister? You want to be me so bad, you're acting like they're your family. They're mine and you're never gonna have them! You're never gonna have a family!"
You reeled back, offended by the uncalled-for insult.
"You have the gall to come to my home, my family's Thanksgiving dinner, acting all holier than thou meanwhile Kylie fawns over you and mom dotes on you."
"Are you jealous? They love you, Regina." Your ability to argue was getting flimsier by the minute, the stinging in your eyes inhibiting any power you could've drawn from.
"Jealous? You think I'm fucking jealous? I have everything and you have nothing!"
"I don't think that's true, Reg. I think that you're hurt and saying things you don't mean."
"You always put words in my mouth, try to manipulate me and change me into someone you think I should be. I'm good the way I am!"
"Change can be good, Reg, I just-"
"God, you're actually so insufferable. Genuinely, I cannot stand to be around you. I hate you." She turned away from you, hands going to her hair and tugging. "I don't need to change. I hate that you try to make me. I hate that you've already done it, with your fucked up mind games."
You blinked rapidly and breathed in deeply, trying to stay calm. She was just being destructive because she was hurt. She didn't mean any of it. She was just earlier kissing you. Didn't that count for something?
"I don't play mind games. I just wish you were kinder."
"You wish I was this and that, and what about me?" She whirled around and strode up to you. "I am this way. I am not kind, I'm not soft, and I thrive."
"Are you thriving, Reg?"
"Do not call me what stupid name!" She yelled, getting right in your face. You flinched back, startled and scared. "Oh, you're gonna cry now that your other tactics don't work anymore? I see right through you, you freak."
"Don't yell at me, Reggie." You said, biting your lip to keep it from trembling. You wiped at your eyes furiously. "I'm sorry, okay, for rejecting you, for trying to change you. I didn't mean to manipulate you."
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to you." She hissed. "I'll fucking ruin your life. I'll tell people you're a lesbian and what you tried to do to me."
"What?" You breathed. "What do you mean? What I tried to do to you- do you hear yourself?"
"I hear myself, jorts, and so will everybody else when I tell them what a disgusting, perverse little dyke you are."
You wouldn't have described it as something snapping, but you'd had enough by then. It stung, hearing that from her, of all people. It stung more than you liked to admit because you knew her.
You knew she didn't mean it, she was lashing out, and desperately trying to cling to the power she'd lost the moment she'd been vulnerable with you- kissed you.
You didn't want to feel it, so you were mean instead.
"Just like you did to Janis then. Did you kiss her too and when you got scared you decided to ruin her life. Is that how it went?" You laughed bitterly and before she could interrupt, went on. "Is that how you're gonna live your life, Regina? Anytime you feel those dirty, lesbian urges you'll use some innocent bystander to sate your lust and then, because they know too much, you ruin them? Sounds very sustainable."
"How dare you accuse me of being that," Her face was scrunched in anger, red like the devil.
"Oh, I dare, I seem to recall you were just kissing me, on top of me, hands up my shirt. You're not fooling anybody, Reg, you're a filthy queer just like me." You were aiming to hurt now, wanting her to feel like you did. "The truth is, Regina, that you fucking hate yourself. You hate yourself and you just don't know what to do with yourself so you make everybody around you feel the exact same way."
"No, that's not true, I-" Seeing her face crumble, her posture turn defensive, stoked the fire of your anger. You wanted her to hurt, wanted to punish her for leaving you back then and insulting you now.
"You're like some shitty reincarnation of Heather Chandler, all high and mighty until you're inevitably toppled by some nobody you were so sure was so below you that they couldn't even pose a threat."
"Great film analysis there, loser." Regina quipped weakly, already backing down. You weren't done, though.
"It's only a matter of time before Cady Heron pours you a glass of drain cleaner too, and I'll be looking forward to the day." You sniped, watching as Regina's lip curled in an exaggerated show of being unaffected. You knew her. You knew she'd seen Heathers and you knew the parallels weren't pleasing to the eye. You knew you were going too far, but you couldn't stop.
"You think you're such a martyr, you think that-"
"I thought we were friends, Regina! All I wanted was to be your friend. Sure, I liked you, but that didn't have to mean anything until you kissed me."
"It meant something the whole time! You can't act like it was nothing, our whole friendship is tainted by it!"
"Get over yourself, Regina, you could've ignored it like you do every flaw you have!"
"I don't have flaws, I'm above that." She scoffed, but the tremor in her voice told you that even she didn't think that was true. "I'm doing everyone a favour by showing who's on top."
"Who are you? A fucking dictator? Is that how you truly see yourself? Because I see a scared little girl, confused and angry, taking it out on the easiest targets."
"Nobody gets to feel okay when I feel like this! It's not fair! It's not fair they get to be happy and I have to be like this all the time! I hate this and they deserve it!"
You fought to ignore your heart breaking for her, how her words and obvious cries for help made you want to bleed for her. You'd stood idly and let her hurt you for long enough, it was about time you stood up for yourself.
"Oh, well, I'm so sorry then. I'm starting to fucking get Janis. Maybe I could've come up with the Homecoming sprinkler prank myself. Maybe I should've let you use the lard for your face."
You regretted it the moment the words left your lips.
A beat, both of you staring at each other, faces slack and chests heaving from all the screaming, regret and betrayal swirling in the air like a toxic tornado, passed.
"You knew?" Regina whispered, suddenly so quiet the wind from your sails wooshed away. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"
"I... I did." You looked down. Fuck. You'd fucked up. You'd insinuated you wanted to see her die. You didn't want that at all. Tears sprung to your eyes again and you pressed the heels of your palms to them.
Could this even be fixed at this point? You should've just shut up and it wouldn't have escalated like this. You knew why she'd reacted the way she did, you knew, but you hadn't been able to stay level-headed when she'd started coming at you.
"Get out." She spoke normally, volume steady. She was shaking, you could see that even with your faltering vision.
"I'm sorry, Reg, I really am. I should've told you. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm sorry."
"I said get out."
Unable to hold it any longer, a sob burst out and you decided to leave before you humiliated yourself any further. You grabbed your overnight bag and practically ran out of the room.
You should've been quieter because Mrs George came to see who was stomping down the stairs so late. She had a wine glass in hand, a silken robe tied at her waist, and a worried look on her face.
"Oh, hi, I packed some leftovers for you to- oh, honey, what's wrong?"
"It's- it's nothing, Mrs George." You hiccuped and looked away, embarrassed by your crying. You couldn't look her in the eye. Did you want her to be your mom? Did it matter when Regina clearly saw it that way even if it wasn't true? Taking any comfort from her now felt like proving her right.
"It doesn't seem like nothing. Why don't we go sit and you can tell me what happened. Did Regina say something mean?"
"I don't wanna talk about it, please."
Mrs George sighed. "There's leftovers in the fridge for you." She lingered as you passed. "Honey?"
"What?" Usually, you didn't have the heart to be so rude to her.
"You're welcome here anytime." She smiled at you gently. Clearly, she was experienced in dealing with volatile teenagers. You turned and headed for the kitchen.
Walking home, bag on your shoulder and various containers of delicious food in your arms, you felt numb. You'd left through the garage door, grabbing your clothes from the mudroom as you went, but you still had on the sweatpants.
Tears dried on your cheeks, eyes swollen and nose stuffy, you didn't know what to do. Snow was falling and the streetlights made the scene look more beautiful than was warranted. You felt empty, hollowed out like you'd spilt your guts, heart, and most other internal organs on the floor of Regina's bedroom.
You got home, put the leftovers in the fridge, and stood in the kitchen. Swallowing on a dry mouth, throat scratchy, you figured there was little else you could do other than smoke a cigarette.
You stepped onto the porch and sank down onto the bench swing. Lighting up and inhaling, you closed your eyes as the smoke passed through you.
Regina by the poolside in her bikini, Regina eating pizza on your couch, Regina on the passenger seat of your car, Regina smoking a cigarette with you under the bleachers.
That was all gone, then.
Notes: I was a little wary of having the chapter be only the argument, but it got so long that I figured it'd be nice to have the next chapters work towards a resolution straight away. No need to stretch out the acute misery for any longer than necessary. I'll say, though, that just like IRL something like this isn't just fixed right away. So look forward to more chapters! This is getting so long. I started writing this like, hey, a cute oneshot with a butch OC! Here we fucking are.
Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer, @dandelions4us, @natashamaximoff-69, @alexkolax, @jareaul0ver, @here4theqts, @charleeeesworld, @natsbiggestfan1, @brocoliisscared, @yellowwallflowers, @scarlettbitchx, @ayoungexwife, @cyberbonesworld, @syddie-reads, @screechcat, @theenglishswiftie,@gabby-duhh, @sweetmissnothing, @masterofpuppets-10, @l1lass, @starved-mortal
#mean girls#mean girls 2024#mean girls 2004#regina george#regina george x reader#regina george x you#regina george x oc#regina george x ofc#lesbian regina george#mean girls x reader#wlw#fic: yard work
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Season 1 Mike Wheeler Queer-coding
Just some of my favourite pieces of queer-coded Mike evidence that I have found from season 1. Let me know if you have never seen these before because I'd love to add to the conversation <33
My overall conclusion from season 1 is: Mike gets taught that being queer/ not liking girls is dangerous. It means you die/ disappear. Being 'normal' or straight is therefore easier. Take this conclusion in mind as you read this.
Disclaimer: This is just my opinion. If you want to interact with this post because you disagree with me, please be respectful.
(Yes I will be doing all the other seasons at some point but it will take a while because this one took me a WEEK)
1. Ted's Comments
Take these with a grain of salt, because when I watched the show again I was a little unsure of whether these are actually implicitly homophobic or due to other things.
So here Ted says 'see Michael, you see what happens?' after Nancy storms off and goes to her room. This could be in relation to Mike shouting at Nancy earlier and that's why he's scolding him a little, but also Mike was talking about how it isn't Will's fault that he's gone missing. It's also kind of established that adults in the town think that Will is gay (more on that later) and was hatecrimed, so Ted could be referencing that.
It's also notable that Mike thinks his dad is talking about Will's disappearance because he then says 'what happens when what? i'm the only one acting normal here. i'm the only one who cares about will.'
So I think it's pretty clear what he's insinuating here. He didn't want to explicitly say 'see what happens when you're not like everyone else' but you can tell. And why would this be said to Mike in relation to Will's disappearance if not for queer-coding? Even early on in the show, Mike could associate being queer with going missing.
Ted, later on in the season, says 'our son? with a girl?' which tbh i thought could be because he's a nerd and only likes hanging out with his friends.
But now that I'm thinking about it, they also say that kind of stuff about Will in season 3. And people on twitter who were against Will's queer-coding before season 4 figured that a lot of the reason people called him slurs was because of him being shy/ stereotyped/ a nerd/ sensitive. But it was confirmed after season 4 that the slurs were queer-coding aka we were right. So the same could easily be said for Mike in this situation.
2. The 'Talk' tm
We've all seen a lot of people talk about this, but I have a teensy bit more to add onto what others have said already because it's sort of funny.
This scene is different to both Karen and the audience. To Karen, she's basically asking Mike if he's feeling particularly sad about Will being missing because of reasons. But to the audience, and Mike, this is a moment for him to be worried about the fact he's hiding El in his closet.
Karen says: 'with all this that's been going on, with Will, i can't imagine what it's been like for you. i just-- want you to feel like you can talk to me. i never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. i'm here for you. okay?'
This feels like something Joyce will say to Will in season 5 LMAO like-
If you aren't queer, you will never understand how obvious this is that it's a gay talk. The word 'hide' is so often used in these situations. What is she insinuating? I understand that the 'i want you to feel like you can talk to me' might just be about Mike's sadness, but the emphasis on 'hide anything' is crazy. Also this is about Will and nothing else because at the beginning she pointedly says, 'with Will'. She's basically insinuating there's something different about Mike's relationship/friendship with Will.
What she could also be insinuating is that she thinks that Will's disappearance had something to do with him being queer, (which is rumoured about). She then applies this same logic to Mike. She may be thinking 'oh if Will didn't feel safe about being queer, I'd better let Mike know he is safe.' -- This could be far-fetched though.
Okay so what is very interesting is that El's in Mike's closet at this time. There are multiple reasons for the directors to put her in there: One, to show a flashback from when she's in the lab, and Two, for her to be in the closet during the queer-coded conversation.
Here's why: RIGHT AFTER KAREN SAYS ALL THE HIDING STUFF, THERE'S A SOUND FROM MIKE'S CLOSET......
Walk with me here folks... To the audience, this is funny because Mike is hiding something. He's hiding El. But. Also the sound came from his closet. He's hiding the fact he's in the closet-- *gunshots*. Double meanings exist i swearr
3. Lucas's Teasing
This whole scene is so interesting to me. I used to ignore it because it's possible Mike and El proof but...
It reinforces the heteronormativity of Mike and could even feed into how he acts in his relationship with her. First of all, Lucas tells Mike that just because he is being nice to a girl he must want to marry her and love her right?
This could be a 'Mike could like El' scene, but no. Mike is literally like, 'Lucas what are you talking about?' HE IS CONFUSED. He's also fed-up, he's not embarrassed. He's not flustered. He's not like 'omg shut up hahaha' he literally bluntly says 'shut up Lucas' in this voice that sounds kind of tired.
What Mike learns here is that being with a girl is kind of expected. He's not allowed to be friends with a girl or care for a girl without people assuming they're a thing.
This leads perfectly onto the next point.....
4. Bullies' Homophobic Comments Exhibit A
Straight after learning that Lucas assumed he had heterosexual feelings for El, Mike learns that being gay is a 'bad thing'.
These comments could just be coding for Will, sure, but there are indications that it could be Mike queer-coding as well.
First of all, 'He's dead, that's what my dad says. Probably killed by some other queer', is a very weighted comment. The fact that Troy's dad said this to him implies that Will's sexuality is like a rumour amongst adults in the town. It's also the show portraying how hate like homophobia can be taught from parents.
Mike's then the one to be like 'just ignore them' and goes to walk away. SPECIFICALLY IT IS HIM THAT IS TRIPPED. I REPEAT!!! HE IS TRIPPED NO ONE ELSE.
This could imply that the bullies were targeting him as well as Will for homophobic bullying, maybe in the past as well, and the 'killed by some other queer' comment could be directed at him. I guess you could say that he was tripped because he was the nearest person, or that he was the one speaking, but the directors chose him to be the one walking there. And SPEAKING. Why??
So: Mike has just learnt from Lucas that being nice to a girl can be seen as attraction and means he has to love her. THEN Mike has just learnt from the bullies that maybe Will died because he was gay, and that being gay gets you hurt (tripped over).
Mike is given a choice between the lesser of two evils: choose to fit into a heteronormative society but get made fun of Lucas, or embrace being gay and get killed/ bullied like Will.
Later on in the season, he finds out Will has died. Let me repeat that. He. Believes. Will. Has. Died. Would this maybe reinforce what the bullies said? That being gay = disappearance. Oh poor MIKE OMGGG
Queer coding all up in this scene lads. (+ a reason for internalised homophobia uwu)
5. Bullies' Homophobic Comments Exhibit B
This scene and the previous scene are inherently linked.
Mike is the one to confront the bullies about Will, defending him, so the bullies instantly resort to homophobia. This means that they may be implying that Mike trying to defend someone who they view as gay is also gay.
In the last scene, I guess you could say that the comments weren't particularly targeted at Mike as well as Will because he wasn't at the forefront of the group (even though he was tripped over). But in this scene he definitely is. They chose to utilise homophobic language about Will because they know it touches a nerve with Mike: This homophobic language doesn't just affect the person they are talking about but also the person they are saying it to.
So here's what they say: 'Besides, what's there to be sad about anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies, all happy and gay.'
The words that Troy is saying here are obviously more linked to how Will is queer-coded throughout season 1, but the way that the scene is shot, the music, the implications, they're all coding for Mike.
'Will's in fairyland now, right?' is posed as a question. They didn't have to make it a question, but they did. This is basically them saying 'oh we've told you this before, shouldn't you know?'/ implying that Mike would know because he's also gay.
Another line they didn't have to include unless it was queer-coding for Mike is: 'Flying around with all the other little fairies.' They could have just written Troy to say 'Will's in fairyland now. All happy and gay,' or something along those lines etc. The jab at Mike is that other gay people exist, and that Will is being gay 'with them'. The words 'all happy and gay' here doesn't actually imply Will's sexuality by itself, but the act of 'being gay together' or in a gay relationship so to speak.
So if you put the pieces together, they're making a point about Mike and Will's friendship in a sense. Also the fact that Troy at the beginning of this insult says 'What's there to be sad about anyway?', basically means that he's trying to get under Mike's skin by saying 'Why are you sad that Will's happy and being gay with other boys? Are you sad he's not with you?' I know that's like, on the nose, but whatever.
(Also Mike has tears in his eyes during this part showing how the words are also affecting him and not just Will)
Another thing I want to talk about is the music. Obviously this music is foreboding and is trying very hard to make the audience uncomfortable, trying to let you know that something bad is going to happen. When Troy walks away, the music swells and the camera zooms in on Mike's angry expression.
Then, Mike pushes troy over for the homophobic comment. This is interesting why? Because Troy tripped Mike over in the previous scene I talked about. Meaning: the scenes are linked. Troy was being homophobic to both Mike and Will. Mike's had enough, so he retaliates in the same way that Troy had treated him earlier.
I'd also like to add that before El saves Mike, he just stands there as Troy stands up and says 'You're dead Wheeler, you're dead.' He was ready to take whatever Troy was going to throw at him. Which is interesting because in the previous scene I talked about, Troy spoke about how being 'queer' means you'll get killed. ('He's dead. That's what my dad thinks, probably killed by some other queer.') So Troy is going to kill Mike, just like how Will is dead too.
A lot has happened between the previous scene and this one. Mike thought Will had died. Yes, during the assembly scene, he doesn't believe it anymore, but he watched Will's body being dragged out the water just recently. Just like in the scene where he jumps into the quarry, this is yet another instance of Mike not caring if he gets hurt in regards to bullying/ Will.
6. More Lucas Comments
"Screw you Mike! You're blind, blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you! But wake up, man. Wake the hell up!" (btw I'm not saying that Lucas is being homophobic here, they're little kids and they've been through a lot)
I mean, come on. This basically implies the classic compulsive heterosexuality concept of Mike choosing which girl to have a crush on because she's the easiest option, since she didn't know him growing up or didn't go to the same school together. Even if this isn't accurate, it is still coding because they wrote Lucas to say that jab at him, it hurts Mike inside, because he knows deep down it's at least a little true.
He looks saddened by this, not angry. Mike usually gets annoyed much quicker than this and whenever he's insulted he looks shocked or has a scowl on his face, but here he just looks... sad. Because he knows that Lucas is touching a nerve. (The top pic btw)
He's completely silent. Until, of course, Lucas starts talking about Will:
'She knows where Will is. And now, she's just letting him die in the Upside Down.'
'Shut up!' -- Mike suddenly shouts either because a) he doesn't like that Lucas is insulting El or something OR b) he hates that Lucas is implying that it is his fault that Will is dying in the upside down because he's being blinded by the fact El isn't grossed out by him.
I think it's B tbh <3 (this scene isn't toooo important for my overall conclusion but it's a little nugget of info i guess)
7. Mike Jumps Into the Quarry
Let's be honest here, before this scene, almost everything seems hopeless for Mike finding Will. Firstly, he physically saw Will's 'body' being dragged out of the same water that he's about to jump into. Then he found out he was still alive but somewhere extremely dangerous and he could be dying there for all he knew. Then his one hope at finding Will (Eleven) is gone and he can't find her ("She's a weapon!... We're no use to Will if we're dead!") and Lucas won't agree to help him find her.
This scene was foreshadowed earlier on, making it a very important scene anyways -- Hopper said that no one would survive the jump and the water 'turns into cement, hits you like a tonne of bricks'. Mike would have died if El didn't save him. And he seemed okay with it.
The camera focuses in on him, and if you listen closely, you can hear his heartbeat. You could say that he's only really doing this to save his friend, but like, why is he so willing and why did they so pointedly zoom in on him?
Here's where we get a little serious: Mike would have committed suicide if El wasn't there at the last second. He would have died in the same place where Will's body was discovered.
Quotes about how being gay gets you killed:
'See Michael? You see what happens?' --Meaning: What happens when you're gay? You disappear.
'He's dead, that's what my dad says. Probably killed by some other queer' -- Meaning: Being gay gets you killed/ means you should die.
'Besides, what's there to be sad about anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies, all happy and gay.' -- Meaning: Will's dead along with all the other gay people, that's where they should be etc.
'You're dead Wheeler, you're dead.' -- Meaning: Mike you should die too, because you're just like Will, and you should join him in 'fairyland'.
(from this scene) 'Jump [into the Quarry].' -- Meaning: Mike you should die just like I told you earlier and in the same place that Will died. (Honestly I believe the whole town now think that Will is dead and his body was found in the quarry, so Troy would know too and use it against Mike.)
Then, after Mike survives this queer-coded death (which can be paralleled to Will's hypothetical death because it's in the same place), he says to the girl that he cares about and has been presumed to 'like' by his friends: 'You saved me. You saved me.'
(just wanna note that i think that is a very sweet scene and doesn't just have to be all about Mike's queer-coding. it's a bond between the party as friends because Dustin also hugs El. But still.)
You tell me what this scene means then.
8. Mike wasn't Lying (Theory)
Okay so this is more of just a theory than queer-coding, because there is something about this scene that I just find... weird.
I personally think that this scene with both Nancy and Mike talking about their so-called 'crushes' is meant to be so you can see the difference between someone who is lying and someone who is telling the truth. Their reactions to the questions are very different to each other (although it could just be a difference in their characters).
Mike: 'Do you like Jonathan now?'
Nancy: 'What?' *looks to the side, fighting a smile* 'No... no, it's not- It's not like that.' -- She's clearly lying because she's being vague, looking to the side, stuttering over her words etc. However, Mike nods like he believes her. This is key for later.
Nancy: 'Do you like Eleven?'
Mike: 'What? No. Ew. Gross.' *looks her up and down in disgust* -- Telling the truth because he stares at Nancy, doesn't stutter over his words and is very direct.
The fact that these reactions are so different (and we know that Nancy likes Jonathan lets be real) is purposeful in my opinion. It shows that at this point, Mike doesn't like insinuation that he likes her in that way.
Something else that happens later in the episode is also quite interesting to me, which further points to Mike 'telling the truth', which is that Mike thought his and Nancy's conversation was mutually truthful.
Why? Because he was completely confused when Lucas says that her and Jonathan are romantically involved later:
Mike: 'They're gone. Nancy and Jonathan. His car's gone.'
Lucas: 'They're probably just sucking face somewhere.'
Mike: 'What? No. No way.' -- Clearly showing that maybe he thought that Nancy was being truthful, meaning he thought their exchange was mutually truthful.
This seems a bit far-fetched but... something to think about.
Btw, I was going to talk about how the First Kiss between Mike and El is queer-coded, but tbh, it's more like... weird. Because they're 12/11 years old and El literally has no idea what a kiss is and they have this exchange about being brother and sister (ew). Then Mike kind of says 'oh i want to go to the snow ball with you, but not if you're my sister', just gives me vibe that he's just doing what he thinks is normal as a result of what others say. But that's it, not much else to say abt it really (also im tired of writing this post ive been doing it for so long <3)
In conclusion: Mike gets taught that being queer/ not liking girls is dangerous. It means you die/ disappear. Being 'normal' or straight is therefore easier. He internalises this for a while poor child <3
Thanks for reading!!! I love you <33 Let me know if you have anything you want to add or if you have contradictions idk byeeee
#byler#byler endgame#mike wheeler#byler nation#stranger things#byler evidence#byler proof#mike wheeler is gay#mike wheeler i know what you are#stranger things analysis
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Begging for a one shot or Drabble about baby and Roman’s yearly trip to the restaurant where they tell the waiter they’re siblings and make out? 🙏🧎♀️
Too Little Birthday
✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・
Roman Roy x Reader Drabble Roman clings onto this girl like a damn life-raft.
-- Roman's a bit too invested in how his yearly birthday present goes when it has to come a little early. --
Warnings: a motivated make-out session, obvious mentions of false-incest, whiny Roman Roy what's new. Jealously, slight angst. The f slur. This draft is from a long, long time ago.
✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.
"Happy birthday, Roman. You're gonna be eighty-nine and five years old!"
Roman straightens his back out against the booth chair with a jump in his seat. More like a shimmy.
"Yeah, tomorrow - let's just hurry up to the sissy brothy kissy kissy section of this."
You want to sigh. Roman's frustrated. His birthday present is one day early. It's due to a long, very important event Tom will have with you, him, and Greg tomorrow. With that and Roman's business intermingling with yours tomorrow when you're all traveling to Pennsylvania, there's not a lot of room to give him his birthday present on his birthday.
Roman knows that, but that's not going to stop him from whining about it. Not in direct words, just eyes and jabby-voiced demands.
"Let's have fun with it, it's your present. We've got time to turn people red-"
"It's my present and I'm asking you to tongue me like a twin would."
You smile. Sure, you'll indulge quicker than you planned. It is his birthday present after all.
"You're gonna have to move closer if you want that, Rome."
The first time Roman asked for this, it made you concerned - not in a confrontational manner, that'd put you in a situation where Roman would "never forgive you" for judging him on his birthday. Although you know the things Roman says are just things Roman say, that if Kendall or...anything said them, you'd be greatly disturbed, there was the question of if Roman wanted you to roleplay as his sister. Shiv. Your friend. That would've been too much.
But Roman put it in words that soothed you enough to be more than happy to go along with his favor.
"Ew. No. I mean, I can and will still spitball a good sexed-up joke with her...and hell, maybe with Ken too during pride month for the fags but this...you're pretending to be a different sister. Duh. You are my sister and we are going to make out. Though - he’d probably rip bits of me off if I ever tried it, that’s why Shiv is chill.”
“...Don’t say fags.”
“You just did.”
So, he kisses you, lathers your lips with his tongues and fitting to his descriptions, Roman tongues you. Your heads and mouths move against each other, bucking up before your hand takes up his cheek. Your heart beats in your head and it's only moments before the vein of his forehead begins to throb.
"...Sir, Ma'am, are you ready to...Sir?"
Roman takes five seconds more of the make out before he slowly pulls away. Knowingly slowly - like he's a fucking asshole. You smile slight. He straightens his spine with a thin, smug mouth. His head tilts off to the side.
"Sorry to make you wait, even though that's kind of your whole thing. Me and my sis just get too excited celebrating our birthday."
You cover your mouth with your intertwined hands, elbows on the table. This has happened every year for the past five years and it just...it never gets easier. It's why Roman does most of the talking, just until his eyes are whining for you to be into it. It only matters if you like it as much as him, if his present is yours too. The point of presents is that they're not for the gifters, but Roman's insecurities say otherwise.
But you'll never admit that it's a little too easy for you to play pretend, revel in the squirm of poor waiters who deserve more pay and days better than yours and Roman's pseudo-incest roleplay.
It's not easy at all, actually. When you think of it.
“...I-I…mm. Okay…”
The waiter blinks. There’s nothing but silence between the three of you. Roman’s a champ, really. His smugness, the snark of his face is only noticeable to you because you’ve loved and loved him since the beginning. This poor waiter couldn’t possibly know Roman’s just fucked in his yearly prank.
“I-I I can read you the special-”
“Aren’t you going to say happy birthday?”
“Rome-”
“Don’t. See? In the womb, she took all of the generosity, the morality. The bitch. But I love her, still,” Roman takes your hands from your mouth. “…if we mention it’s our day of popping out into the womb, your hourly wage pay should be telling you to say happy birthday.”
“Roman. Don’t.”
You’ll play twin, but going after someone’s job - need for money, not today. Not even on his not-birthday. Pre-birthday day.
“...Fine, sorry, sis.” Roman smacks his hand on the table, then points a finger gun towards the waiter. “You’ve been doing great in the two minutes I’ve known you. I guess that’s what I’m supposed to say.”
He looks to your hand in his other hand and of course, with low-lidded eyes, you know he’d take the skin - what he would say is bait even though he was the one to take your hands in the first place.
Roman sucks your fingers before he sniffs them.
You all forget what the three of you are here for. A bead of sweat drips down the waiter’s forehead.
“...Do you two want to skip to the desert? Our patrons highly-”
The waiter chokes.
“They like the piss.” The waiter’s hand deathgrip her notepad. “Pie! Fuck me.”
“Mm. No thanks, I’m taken. Your wage doesn’t even need to tell you that, social awareness does all the talking there.
“That sounds delicious, thank you.”
“She didn’t even name the flavor-”
“We’ll take the pie for now. And just water as well.”
You straighten out your back, smiling up at the poor waiter before pressing your nose against Roman’s knuckles.
“Did you get the birthday text from Dad yet?”
Ordering Roman around is as much of a birthday gift as the incest thing is. He doesn’t push on the pie for the first course. But, of course, the waiter leaves as fast as she can.
“Happy?”
Roman slouches against the booth, scrunching his face up as if to say so-so.
“She was acting as if she wasn’t about to squirt.”
“I think she was genuinely terrified, but not as much as the last waiter we had last year. I think that’s why her horror appeared clement.”
“I think incest is becoming more socially acceptable, that’s the tiktok era for you.”
You blink against his knuckle.
“...I think it’s the exact opposite. Like…actually, it’s the exact opposite.”
“Superior bloodlines took to fucking, we could do it.”
“I’m not your actual sibling.”
“Did we ever ball out which one of us is the oldest?”
“Me.”
Roman’s smiley, stupidly with his thick-lidded eyes and he’s handsome, despite the fact he’s your brother for the day. It’s an easy gift for him, at least this year considering it’s already ruined for him - it being a day early already being too much. So, unlike the birthdays before, your boy doesn’t have to take to pretending he’s your brother the entire lunch date. Only when the waiter is present to watch in terror.
“But your dad, Roman - tomorrow we need to find a way to coo-”
And you two were talking about other things, but Roman took to watching other things.
“Roman?”
When you turn to see where his furrowed brows point to, it’s when you realize it’s someone else he’s watching. You turn behind you, seeing the light of the sun hit a man across the restaurant. He looks to be your and Roman’s age. Wavy hair, a creepy-fucked sort of smile.
He wears his own smug look, but when it’s not Rome’s…it strikes you wrong. Confusingly. You turn back.
You watch Roman’s mouth and brows waver.
“Hey, just ignore him. Just a guy.”
“Why the fuck is he gawking? The fucker is about to lick his chops and shove his hand down his slacks and choke it.”
Roman’s eyes go wide and jolt his head forward. A physical ‘what the fuck?’ to the man across the room. When you turn again, you see how it does nothing for him. He’s got his arms crossed.
“Oh, what the fuck?”
It’s what you want to say when both of you see the man come up and make his way towards you.
“I’m gonna drop my pants to scare him.”
“Let’s say that as your father’s company is bombarded with sexual assault allegations. Let’s. Calm down-”
“Hey. Just want to say - if she was my sister, I wouldn’t be able to resist either.”
Roman blinks. You blink.
….Oh.
“Sorry, I just heard a bit of it when I was walking in. And even if you’re just fucking around…just gotta say.”
The man sniffs before he laughs. And you know your eyes only portray horror when he puts up a fist of solidarity.
“Sibling love.”
Then, he smiles wide at you with a clicked tongue. Roman can’t do anything and you don’t want him to, to cause a scene, it won’t be a result of his gift, just pure and sudden anger. Loud, punchy words. But for now, as the man walks away, it’s just brutal eyes - perfect daggers that’d be even more handsome if you were able to think about it, but you can’t in how fucking confused you are.
What the fuck?
“What the fuck?” You turn to face Roman. “What the fuck was that? Should I…”
You put your hands together, mouth parted in a pause as you lean forward. “Should I call someone?”
The man across the table doesn’t look at you, but his brown eyes just focus on one spot on the table. The daggers pierce the wood there.
And you already know. So, you sigh. You try to come into frame.
“Roman, that was just a fucking freak.”
What you always call him. That was a mistake in your wording and you know it when Roman’s eyes flicker up in fire.
“Not a perfect freak. Not something I’d want in my bed or…ten feet away from me. What the fuck was that?”
“...You didn’t-”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“On my not-birthday…you just…he’s your type.” Roman scratches his head and inhales sharply before his eyes shut tightly. “Wow. I fucking hated that. I wanna go home. I think we just met an actual sib-molester and he was your type.”
Okay, what the fuck?
“What the fuck? What are you talking about?”
“It’s not your fault. But that was Stewy. And a freak. Your type. On my not-birthday. What the fuck is wrong with today? I wann-”
“How did Stewy come into this conversation? You’re my type. That was weird and I feel like I need to call the cops but it’s nothing to get jealous over-”
Roman looks down in his heavy and tense stare. He blinks fast with scratches to his face. He picks at his ear, it’s all the signs that he’s breaking a bit.
“M’ not jealous. Not jealous. I just-” Roman pulls a hair or two out of his brown. “I just forgot other people can see you’re hot sometimes. It’s jilting. M’ sorry.”
Another sign is a lack of finished words and eye contact.
“Normies do that, but someone who’s more of-I kinda thrive off of being the worst possible fuck…you like that and someone just took a shit on me like it was nothing. Another worst possible fuck with long legs saw you’re fuckable…lovable. Fine. Fine, it’s whatever. I wanna go home.”
It’s all too much for you to know what to say. Too much to say much, but it’s your instinct to soothe, even if your heart throbs and flips with a bloodrush at how Roman insecurely wears his jealousy and how you’re the only one that can bring him down from the roof.
“I just forgot…and my brain chemicals just losing regulation at the sight of him. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, hey. Look at me.”
And it takes a minute, but he listens to you. Roman looks up, eyes big and blinking.
You kiss his knuckles.
“You’re the only fucked person I know. I don’t think it’s possible to show much interest in…anything else. But seriously…what the fuck was that?”
“What the fuck was that?”
“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
You don’t know if there’s anything you have to make up for, but you sure Roman will find the reason tomorrow. An excuse for another birthday gift where you’re at his feet - or he’s at yours.
He sniffles hard.
“You’d get scratchy too if you were me.”
…If you were him. That’s the truth, no one could ever get like this unless they were Roman. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.
#inbox#drabble#roman roy x reader#roman roy fic#roman roy imagine#succession fanfiction#succession fic#succession fanfic#roman roy#succession x reader
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Love Shot
Inspired by this dialogue prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting "You’re so adorable. I want to pick you up and never let you down."
word count: 1 260 warnings: drinking, alcohol, (not) unrequited crushes, reader getting drunk, reader wanting to get blackout drunk
I was never the type of person to go out clubbing and drinking. Any of my friends could tell you that. I normally stayed far away from clubs, they were far too loud for my taste, and yet here I was on a Friday night, by myself trying to get blackout drunk. There's a bit of a backstory on how I got here, and it all started earlier while I was on campus.
For a bit of backstory, most of my friends I met while in college, except for Felix. Felix and I have been friends since high school. We were both the nerdy type of kids, except that he had the advantage that puberty was nice to him. While I've had a crush on him since I met him, however I valued my friendship with him too much to ever say something. I'd rather an unrequited love, than to lose him over something simple like a crush. It ended up happening by pure coincidence that we attended the same college, but it worked out really well for me. I'm more of an introvert, while Felix is the extrovert who makes all of our friends, and that's more or less what happened.
Most of that isn't really important though, to be honest, except that I still have the biggest crush on Felix, six years later. He and the rest of our friend group, affectionately called "Stray Kids" for some reason or another, are the campus hotties. Which means I get to see girls upon girls try and shoot their shot with all of them, and for most of the boys, I don't give a shit who they date. I however get way too envious sometimes of the girls I see hanging around my best friend. Chan, the eldest of the friends, was sitting with me while we watched the boys have fun.
"Are you ever going to say something to him? About your crush on him?" He questioned me. I turned to him like he was crazy. We've had this conversation a million times, and it was never going to happen.
"I've told you Chan, he'd never like me that way, and I'm never gonna jeopardize my friendship with him over a stupid crush."
"You'll never find out if he likes you though, if you never say anything." He retorts.
"I don't wanna find out if he doesn't like me. Besides, there's a good chance I could mess things up between him and I, and I'm not taking that chance." I stood up, and moved to leave the table, grabbing my things as I said goodbye to Chan. I really didn't want to deal with the guys nagging me to finally ask him out, it just made it worse. I headed home, before having the stupid idea that I should go out and drink instead of staying home, but impulsive decisions are a thing I do a lot.
I know it's kind of a shitty reason to be out trying to get blackout drunk at a bar, but honestly I couldn't think of anything better to help me deal with the pain of not being able to tell Felix I like him. I was about four drinks in, and already on my way to being wasted when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I look back, my vision already blurring to see Felix behind me. "Hiii Lixieeee!" I giggled, waving at him. He grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the bar, while I took my drink with me.
"Lixie, where are you taking me? I was having a good time at the bar~" I pouted at him, my words slightly slurring. He stopped suddenly and turned to face me, leaning down to cup my face in his hands.
"Why are you out drinking? This isn't like you." He asked me, looking concerned.
"Why are you so concerned, Lixie? I'm just having some fun and letting loose a bit. Aren't I allowed to have fun?" I shoot back at him, some frustration coming out in the process. I chug down the rest of whatever was in my glass, feeling the burn as it made its way down my throat. Felix reached to take the glass and put it somewhere out of my eyesight.
"Chan told me where you were. He was out with a couple of the other boys and they saw you here by yourself. You never go out to bars, why are you even here? If you wanted to drink, I would have brought over stuff, and we could've had fun at your apartment. Why are you doing this? Tell me, please?" He questioned me, begging me to answer him.
I assume it was my lack of self control, but I blurted out, almost angrily at him, "I'm in love with you, okay! I've been in love with your cute face for the last six years, and I can't bear seeing you with other people. I want your eyes on me and only me. And I was never going to tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship." I couldn't bear to look at him after that. Felix went silent, and I started getting tears in my eyes, which started falling when the man started chuckling.
"You’re so adorable. I want to pick you up and never let you down." That made me look up at him in surprise. "Did you never think I wanted you too? I've wanted you so badly, wanted to call you mine. I was too scared that you wouldn't feel the same way. Oh baby, I think we've both been idiots for a little too long." He pulled me into a hug, resting his head on top of mine, before saying, "How about we head home now, yeah? We can talk about this more in the morning, when you're sober." I don't have it in me to do anything more than nod.
He takes me back to his car, opening the passenger door and helping me in, before going around to the driver's seat. He started the car and drove us the short ride to his apartment he shared with a couple of our friends. I was still a bit too intoxicated to walk by myself, so Felix assisted me up into his apartment, and then into his bedroom, having me sit down on his bed while he found clothes for me to wear. He set them out on the bed, pushing me to change into them while he went and found a spare toothbrush for me to use. By the time he returned, I had changed into the shirt he left me, but decided not to put on the shorts. He handed me the toothbrush, and since I had been here before, I knew my way to the bathroom. I quickly washed up, feeling a bit less wasted by the time I returned to his room. Felix was already waiting on his bed for me to get back, and ushered me into his bed and under the covers, while he laid down on top of them.
I looked up at him, and softly asked, "Can you hold me while I fall asleep?" He nodded, blushing and moved under the covers with me, as I rested my head on his arm as his other one came around my waist.
He softly kissed my cheek as he whispered, "Good night." It didn't take me long to fall asleep in his arms, feeling the happiest I had been in a while.
#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#felix x reader#lee felix x reader#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#felix imagines#lee felix#skz fluff#skz angst#skz felix fluff#felix angst
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DRUNK DABI X READER
You hear the window to your bedroom open so you glance at it not too alarmed knowing that it's probably someone you know personally. It was Dabi.
You and Dabi have been having a problem trying to figure out what you guys mean to each other. So you both settled that you're "Friends with Benefits". Which is fine by you. Mainly because your ex has treated you like shit for the past 5 months and you needed a person to help you in your time of need. (Time of need meaning getting knocked up).
As Dabi is climbing into your window you look at him noticing something is off. Even under the moon's reflective light you could tell he was a bit wobbly and wonky, and has a pinkish hue to his cheeks and forehead. You suddenly add 2 and 2 together when you notice a bottle of booze rocking in his hand.
Anyone homeee~? Yells Dabi slightly slurring at his words. He leans against the wall. You walk over to him and caress's his cheek. "Dabi? What are you doing here? You would usually warm me before you decide to come?" Dabi blinks at you and glances at your hand that is placed on his cheek.
"Hello, pretty I'm just having a drink, thought I'd stop by and visit you!" His words were barely audible but I got little snippets of it piecing words together.
Dabi looks at you with a tired look in his eyes and leans closer near your ear mumbling something about your hair being soft.
You glance at the half empty bottle in your hand. "Yea your hella drunk" You swiftly walk over to your window to lock it, hoping no one had seen him come in. You then take the bottle of booze and throw it away. Making Dabi a little sad in the eyes. Chaperoning Dabi to bed, you push away the stuffed animals that spread onto your bed and let the man lay down. The man groans and rolls onto his back.
"Come here and lay with me pretty girl." The raven hair man says stretching out his arm to look for your thigh.
"Dabi stop, you don't mean that, you're just drunk talking" You say as you get up to head to the restroom.
Dabi has stated many many times before that what you guys have going on doesn't reflect your feelings. It's just a mere hookup is all. Although you said you agreed to those terms, you just couldn't help but to catch feelings for the handsome man. (Whoopsie #1)
You begin to walk to the bathroom to grab 2 Tylenol pills and a warm washcloth. As well as grab a cup of water from the kitchen. You then return back to where the man lay placing the items on the night stand next to the queen sized bed.
"I'm not drunk talking! I'm serious. I've wanted you ever since we've started this whole charade"
You ignore his comments and attend to nurse him back to health. "Are you hungry Dabi? I could make you something to eat to ease the hangover once it comes." You ask symptomatically looking into his cerulean eyes.
Dabi's eyes soften as he nods. "Yes please that would be great~" As he nods he attempts to lean over to give you a small peck on the cheek. But ends up tumbling off the bed instead due to his inebriated state.
"Tch" is the only sound that comes out of your mouth. You lean down to help the man back onto the bed. The sound of soft snoring hits your ears and you realize he fell asleep (Pun intended). You tuck the man under the blankets and place the man onto his side making sure none of the contents of the drink comes up to choke him.
You kiss the man on his cheek admiring his beautiful features.
"I love you Dabi"
A small smirk forms onto the man's face as he whispers the words back; "I love you Y/N"
#dabi x reader#league of villains#mha x reader#dabi my hero academia#dabi x you#dabi#dabi x female reader#touya todoroki#blueflame#todoroki touya#leauge of villians#dabi fluff#Drunk Dabi
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// say yes to heaven //
johnny knoxville x reader
authors note: Johnny goes by PJ, some things might be innacurate apologies in advance, mentions of homophobic slurs (i can say it)
❥༄ It's a warm july evening, the sunset sky looks like cotton candy, the kids are still out playing, and me and pj are on the steps of his trailer drinking some cold beers. i've known pj ever since me n my mom first moved to Tennesse at age 5. i ponder back on that moment, the memory still fresh in my mind.
❥༄ "y/n! get your boxes from the back of the uhaul girl!" my mother shouted. i sighed and made my way from the empty field to the back of the van we came in while my mother put her belongings inside our new home. a boy around my age with dark chocolate hair, warm brown eyes, and a horrendous haircut came up to me. "are you my new neighbors?" he asked enthusiastically. i nodded shyly. "cool! i'm pj by the way. my trailers right there." i glanced over to where he was pointing. i noticed a brown trailer with white stripes, white steps, and various beer cans and cigarette butts littering the patch of grass in front. i turned back to him and introduced myself back. "my names y/n. my parents divorced so we moved here." "mine are divorced too! wanna be friends?" we've been inseparable ever since.
❥༄ i set down my can with a sigh and put my hands in my hair. i've lived in the same trailer ever since, things never really got better for me and my mom. i started working at the local jcpennys working the beauty department but that's it, and Pjs been working with his dad at his auto repair shop ever since we were 13. pj turned to look at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes fixated on me. "what's troublin' you doll?" i picked my head up with a sad smile. i loved when he called me that. "whens it gonna get better peej?" i let out a dry chuckle. "i mean are we just gonna stay in this town our whole lives? living pay check to pay check?" he huffed and turned away from me. "i don't know y/n...why are you bringing this up?" "because i don't want that to be my life pj. maybe it was good for our parents but...don't you want different?" he took another sip from his can and a long drag from his cigarette and was quiet for a while. "of course i want different but it's not that simple y/n...plus the world needs workers like us and our parents anyway." i couldnt belive what he was saying. it was so out of character for him. he was never one to conform to society despite us growing up in the south where you'd get called a fag for just about anything. but people didn't care when it came to pj. he could be wearing a tutu and still look cool. that's why i didn't understand why he was giving up his future to stay in a town like this when the world had so much more to offer him, to offer us. "you know, i don't get you sometimes pj." i threw my can on the porch and sat up. "when are you gonna wake up y/n?" he shouted at me. i looked at him wint utter confusion painted on my face. he stared back at me with those piercing dark eyes. anytime i looked into them, it was like i was stuck in place, and like the rest of the world was no more, just me and pj. "w-what do you mean?" i spoke. he scoffed at me and continued, still shouting. "do you think it's that easy? that we can just leave this all behind and start a new life like that?" i huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, "that's not what i meant and you know it. i just meant that we both have dreams pj. what about your writing?" he turned away from me and shook his head, his eyes were even darker now due to his mood. i noticed there were imprints on his can due to his grip on it. "what about my writing y/n? you heard my dad." a while ago, pj shared with his dad his dreams of being a writer, and how he wanted to write for this magazine in LA, just to get his foot out the door. his dad didn't take it well at all and said he better get the wrench he asked for because writing won't pay the bills. i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. pj got up to stomp his cigarette out. when he was done he locked eyes with me. he stared at me with such intensity, it made my knees buckle and my stomach flip. maybe it's a good thing he wore shades 99.9% of the time. i wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him, let him know that anyone who doubted him didn't know what they were talking about. that me and him could make it on our own. but we were just friends. and he was even more stubborn drunk than he was sober. he turned to go inside then stopped. "you better get home y/n...it's getting dark." i felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, like bees in the summer time. this wasn't the first time we fought like this, but it's the first time he didn't invite me in afterwards. usually he'd say something along the lines of sorry, or how he has some left over apple pie he needs help eating, really he would say any excuse. but this time, it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. "you're a coward philip and you know it." i shouted. "you have just as much potential as anyone else in this world to do something great, but you're scared!" he stayed with his back towards me, his fists clenched and his head low. "leave y/n."
❥༄ i stared at him until my vision became blurry with tears, which didn't take long. i've always been emotional. i ran away from him, in the direction of our old elementary. i always went there when things became too much to handle and i just needed somewhere to escape to. once i got there i sat on the old rusty swings that squeaked each time you swayed. i felt like shit. maybe i was too hard on pj. it's just that all i wanted was for me and him to have a good future. maybe the reason why i got so mad was because i imagined our futures would be us as lovers, not best friends. i wish i brought one of those beers before i left. i heard rustling coming from my left side and when i turned to look, i saw pj. i turned away and stared at the ground. it was quiet for a while while he sat on the swing beside me. "i'm sorry doll. i didn't mean to yell at you like that, you know how i get when i drink coors." i began to sob as i spoke, "no peej i'm sorry, i was too hard on you." i put my head in my hands and hid my face. pjs eyes scrunched up as he began laughing at me. "oh come on y/n, no need to bring out the water works. we're all good girl" he moved his hand and began rubbing my back. i sniffled and picked my head up, turning to him with a small smile that he returned.
❥༄ it was like that for a while. just me and pj swaying back and forth, till he spoke up. "you know i'm not a coward y/n..." i faced him and frantically began explaining myself. "i know pj i'm sorry it's j-" he cut me off. "the only reason why i'm not doing what i want is because... i wanna keep you close to me." i stayed staring at him. my eyes wider than usual, and my lips tucked between my teeth. "the magazine i wanna write for is based in LA. that means i would have to move there." i remained quiet. he turned to look at me. "come on y/n say some-" it was probably the alcohol more than me, but out of no where, i decided to kiss him. his lips were warm snd soft, i could still taste the cigarettes and coors on his breath. i felt euphoric and nauseous all at once. i pulled away awkwardly and faced him. "i'm sorry peej, i don't know-" he cupped the side of my face and pulled me in for a second kiss. after a minute we pulled away, but we were stuck staring at eachother, like one would disappear if the other dared to look away. "i'll go with you." i spoke, barely above a whisper. pj scrunched his face in confusion. "pardon?" i rolled my eyes at him. sometimes he was such an airhead. "i'll go with you to LA. just say the word and i'll go pj." he stared at me with a goofy crooked smile and picked me up from the swing. i squealed as he threw me over his shoulder. "let's start packing then. we'll get the first flight out as soon as we're done." even though i was upside down and felt dizzy, i couldn't be happier.
#johnny knoxville#philip john clap#johnny knoxville x reader#philip john clap x reader#jackass#jackass x reader#jackass headcanons#2000s aesthetic#fanfic#trailer park au#steve o#steve o x reader#chris pontius#chris pontius x reader#dave england#ehren danger#wee man#bam margera#preston lacy#dave england x reader
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big reputation - (r.c)
summary: Rafe drives you and your hardly conscious friend home from a party.
This can be read as a stand-alone but it's technically a part two to getaway car
pairing: rafe x reader
wc: 3k
tags/warnings: mean!kook!reader, bullying i guess?, highschool!au, swearing, drinking, emetophobia warning, smut (its implied nothing actually graphic happens)
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Loud music shakes the floor of the beach house you're in, filling your ears with Taylor Swift's 'End Game'. One of your favorites. You smile leaning over the railing of the loft, the world spinning as you talk to a giggly Bella, forgetting every sentence the second it leaves your lips.
"Bells, I just love you so much. Have I ever told you that before?" You say, cutting off your friend as she talks.
"Aww, I love you too. So, so much." She replies, throwing her arms around you as you both stumble and fall against the railing.
"Woah! Careful ladies." You hear a male voice close to you and a hand on your back.
"Hi! Quinton, oh my god." Bella giggles before you can identify him, pulling him into what is now a group hug.
"Had too much to drink tonight, huh?" The boy asks and you both furiously shake your heads.
"No! We would never." You say, stopping the head shake as it makes you dizzy.
"Just the good kind of drunk then? I'm glad to hear it." He laughs, dropping his arm from Bella's shoulder and leaning onto you still. You reach up and place your hand on his arm as it falls over your body.
"Yeah! It's so good. It's been too long since we've had a good party, you know?" Bella says, smiling between the two of you.
"Literally! I missed being drunk." You giggle.
"Me too, you're so funny when you're drunk," Quinton says, patting your shoulder.
"I like to think I'm funny all the time." You say, raising an eyebrow as you turn to look up at him.
"Well, duh, just a different kind of funny. More carefree." He explains. "Less... uptight, you know?"
"Oh please." You roll your eyes. "You pretty much have to be uptight to even get into Kook Academy. Bells is an outlier." You laugh.
"So true, actually." Quinton agrees.
Before you can reply, Bella speaks up and proves her right. "I'm gonna go get another drink, I think. Do you want one? Or a water? Actually, yeah I'll get you a water, Y/N/N. It'll be good for you. Yeah." Bella rambles on, quickly tapping you on the shoulder and pointing at you before heading unsteadily toward the stairs. "I'll be right back!" She shouts over the music as she gets farther away.
"Thank you, Bells!" You call after her.
"Come with me," Quinton says, leaning down to speak in your ear, then placing a kiss on your neck.
Shivers run down your back even in your drunken state, looking down the stairs and seeing Bella stopped at the bottom talking to some girls. "I should probably wait here for Bells." You reply, in contrast to you leaning your head to the side to give him more access to your skin.
"She'll be at least ten minutes. Come on." He whispers, dropping his arm from your shoulder and grabbing your wrist, leading you away from the railing and back to a somehow unoccupied bedroom. You suppose she'll be fine, she's got those girls with her and you'll find her in just a few minutes.
Downstairs, Bella stumbles into the kitchen, looking around for an empty cup, and checking all the plastic red cups littered across the countertops. "Bella!" She hears her name and turns.
"Hey! Topper! How are you?" She slurs, immediately walking up to him and giving him a hug.
"Wow, you've had a few, haven't you?" He laughs, patting her back and then pulling away.
"How could you tell?" She giggles.
"Just a guess." He shrugs. "Hey! We're about to start up a game of Chandelier- you want to tap in? We're gonna team up on Kelce, at the very least it'll be a funny watch." Topper says, laughing through the end of his statement.
"Yeah, for sure!" Bella nods, then looks down at the cups in her hands. "Oh, well, I need to get Y/N some water first. Do you think I have time?"
"She'll be fine for a few minutes, you know her." He insists. "If you don't want to drink anymore, someone else will drink for you I'm sure."
Bella thinks about it for a second and nods. She knows you're as independent as they come, but she still does worry about you. She dismisses the thought, remembering you're with Quinton and would probably like some time alone with him anyways. "Okay, sure. Sounds like fun." She agrees, following Topper out to the patio where the game table is placed.
"Hey Bella, you gonna play?" Rafe asks her as she takes her place at the table, squeezing in between Kelce and Topper.
"Yeah! I've never played this before so I'll have to learn as I go but you guys might need some patience for me." She giggles out, not really standing steady on her feet as it is.
Rafe raises his eyebrows and nods, looking at her a little surprised. "Right, yeah." He gives Topper a look, suggesting it may not be the best idea for her to play. "Hey, Bella, where's Y/N?" He asks, leaning over the table a little as the boys work on filling up all the cups with various drinks they had on hand.
"Oh! Uh, she's upstairs." Bella answers, smiling and leaning in a little bit. "With Quin. I figured I'd give them some alone time." She giggles, winking at him.
"Oh, gotcha. Cool." Rafe finds himself looking up towards the windows on the second floor, not sure what he was expecting or even wanting to see.
"Yeah, I'm excited for her! I think she's really into him. Well, that's what she says. She never seems interested when I want to talk about it, though. She does have some issues so I think it could be about that. Sorry, no. I shouldn't say that- I mean, I just worry about her because of some stuff that's happened to her and I definitely shouldn't be telling any of you this so I'm gonna stop talking right now." Bella rambles on, slowly trailing off toward the end of her sentence.
"No you're fine- we won't tell anyone," Topper says, shaking his head. "Who hasn't had a sprinkle of trauma in their lives, you know?"
"Let's just play," Rafe says, quickly polishing off what's left in his can before tossing it over his shoulder. "Me and you start, Top. That way Bells can see how it's done."
It's been about half an hour since Bella left to go get your drinks, and part of you feels guilty for disappearing on her. Realistically, though, you know she doesn't mind finding someone else to talk to for a bit while you're sitting on the ensuite bathroom counter with Quinton's head between your thighs. She's got tons of friends- and god knows she'll love to hear about it later.
Your head is leaning back against the mirror, eyes closed and all you can hear is your own heavy breathing and the music shaking the walls from downstairs. That's until you think you hear someone calling your name, then a hand on the bedroom door handle which is in full view of the open bathroom door. Why did you not lock it? You shove Quinton's head away as quickly as you can, just in time to push your skirt down before the door swings open.
"Y/N-" It's Rafe, and he freezes for just a moment, clearly processing what he almost walked in on as Quinton stands up, wiping his mouth on his shirt which he just picked up off the floor.
"Hey, Rafe- what's up?" He asks casually, pulling the fabric back over his head. As you stare at the boy, stunned and red in the face.
"Uh- I need Y/N. Something happened." He explains vaguely, grabbing your arm and pulling you from the room.
"Jesus Christ, Rafe! What the fuck?" You say once you're out of earshot, letting him pull you down the stairs.
"It's Bella, she keeps asking for you. She's like, super fucked up." Rafe huffs, pulling you out onto the patio.
"Okay yeah, aren't we all?" You scoff and he shakes his head. You take one look at your friend, laid out on the grass on the back lawn and quickly run over to her, kneeling by her side.
"Hey, Bells? You alright, babe?" You say, a sympathetic smile on your face. She absolutely does not look good.
"No..." She groans, opening her eyes to look up at you. "Can we go home?" She asks, and you quickly nod.
"Of course. Uh... yes. Do you think you're gonna be sick? Will you be fine if I call an Uber?" You ask.
Rafe is quickly kneeling next to you. "I got some water, here, Bella, let's get you up." He says, and you both help her slowly sit up, then he hands her the cup.
He leans in close to your ear to talk to you so she doesn't hear. "She puked all over the table- she's probably done for now but she's gotta get home."
You wince and look back up on the patio where Kelce and Topper are throwing cups into a garbage bag and dousing the surface with any cleaner they could find under the sink and covering it in paper towels. "Yikes." You chuckle, turning to look back at him.
"Yeah, it was not pretty." He laughs a little, shaking his head. "Do you guys have a DD?" He asks.
"No, we were going to Uber- but I don't know if they'll let us in." You sigh, sitting back on your heels.
"No, no. 'm fine, guys. I take it back. I wanna stay." Bella insists, handing you the almost empty cup.
"Well, I think I'm ready to go home, babe. That okay?" You smile at her and she nods.
"Of course! Yeah, let's go home." You giggle at how quickly she changed her mind.
"I think I can drive," Rafe says, looking between the two of you. You hesitate, thinking it over. "I haven't had much. I was going to drive myself anyways. Do you trust me?"
You find yourself nodding. He seems sober enough for you. "Yeah, okay. Rafe is going to take us home." You turn to your friend, patting her leg.
"Oh! Thank you, Rafe. You're so sweet." She slurs, reaching forward and placing her hand on his cheek.
He laughs, shaking his head. "That's a new one for sure. Come on. Let's get you home."
You both help her up, letting her drape her arms over both of your shoulders and holding her waist as you walk out to the street, towards where Rafe says he parked. Luckily he didn't take the bike, he was thinking he'd probably have to drive Topper and Kelce too.
He watches you as you talk to Bella quietly, giggling to yourselves. "Oh god, wait! Y/N I'm so sorry- you were with Quinton!" Bella says suddenly, now loud enough for Rafe to hear. "I hope I didn't ruin anything- oh god..."
"No, no. Bells, it's fine." You insist, shaking your head. "It wasn't good anyways." You shrug, making Rafe choke on his laughter.
"What? Why?" Bella gasps, looking over at you. "Was he-"
"Uh-" You laugh nervously cutting her off as you briefly make eye contact with Rafe over her head. "I'll tell you about it later, okay?"
"No, please- share with the group," Rafe says, raising an eyebrow at you.
You roll your eyes. "I'm not gonna 'share with the group', let's just say, I'm over him now and I'd like to thank you both for getting me out of there."
The two of them laugh at that, and Bella tries to lean in to whisper to you. "You'll still tell me the details later though, right?" She says, trying to be quiet but it was still loud enough for Rafe to hear.
"Yeah, yeah of course." You giggle, making eye contact with him again.
"Uh, this is us," Rafe says, digging in his pocket for his keys to unlock the vehicle. He opens the back door, and you both help Bella in. "Okay, not to be that asshole, but Bella; if you have to puke, now is the time because I really don't want it to stink in here." He says as you buckle her in. She nods and gives a thumbs-up.
"I'm good. I promise."
"Okay, Bells, if you think that you're going to puke while we're moving, say something, okay? We can pull over or roll down your window or something." You tell her and she nods again.
You hop in the passenger seat and Rafe jogs around to the driver's side, climbing in and starting it up. You drive in the direction of Bella's house, putting on any Taylor Swift he had on his phone at her every request- not that you minded. It was mostly Reputation, which was fine by you since that was your favorite as well.
Luckily, you make it to Bella's without a hitch, jumping out to go enter the gate code to be let onto the property. You quickly jump back in and Rafe pulls up the long driveway to her house.
"Rafe! Here, hold on- how much do you want?" Bella asks, digging through the bag on her lap.
"Don't pay me." Rafe laughs, shaking his head.
"Okay, well, I guess I'm just going to accidentally leave this fifty back here where you can't reach it. Oopsies." She laughs, tucking it in the back seat and wrapping her arm around you again as she pretty much falls out of the car.
"Yeah, whatever Bella." Rafe chuckles, shaking his head. "Hey, Y/N, are you staying here? Or do you need a ride home?" Rafe asks as you're about to shut the door.
"Uh, I think I'll go home if you're okay to wait a couple minutes while I get her to bed?" You ask and he nods.
"I'll be here." He assures you and you thank him before shutting the door, helping Bella up to her house, and entering the code to get in.
"Wait, wait, tell me about Quinton!" Bella whispers once you're inside as you help her upstairs to her room.
"I'll tell you tomorrow- we'll debrief at brunch, yeah?" You laugh, shutting the door to her room behind you.
"Okay, okay." Bella sighs, flopping down on her bed as you grab her a makeup wipe and some pajamas from her drawer. "You know what I've been thinking?"
"Hm?" You hum in response, placing the pajamas on the bed and sitting down next to her, holding her chin as she sits up so you can gently wipe off her makeup for her.
"I think you and Rafe are like, the same person. You have a lot in common! You're both the oldest of three, you both are a little bit mean, but like in a fun way, and you have virtually the exact same sense of humor." She says and you laugh, shaking your head. "If you're over Quinton now, like you said, maybe- I don't know, just a pitch, maybe you should consider all your options. That's all I'm saying."
"Bella, come on. Rafe is... Rafe." You laugh, carefully wiping her lashes.
"Yeah, and you are you. And I'm me. And you're kind of friends, so like- what's the harm? Also, I can see it in the way he looks at you." She says, eyes still closed. "Besides, I've heard it's big."
"Bella!" You laugh, your cheeks burning as you sigh. "I've heard that too." You admit.
"Okay! You can get us evidence and give me all the tea. Neither of you are the relationship type either so there's no pressure." She explains. "But also, like, I really don't think a relationship would be bad for you. Or him. If you are as similar as I think you are. Also, you kind of went on a date the other week! Like, come on. You get on so well."
You smile to yourself and shake your head, getting up to throw out the dirty wipe. "I've got to go, Rafe is waiting." You giggle and she nods, laying back down. "Hey, put your pajamas on before you pass out. Okay? I'll see you in the morning." You head back to the door.
"Go get your man, Y/N/N. I love you." Bella yawns, already half asleep.
"Love you too. I'll call you in the morning." You whisper, stepping out and closing the door softly behind you, careful not to wake her parents.
You sneak outside, running over to the car where Rafe is still waiting, looking at his phone when you jump in.
"She good?" He asks as you close the door.
"Yeah, passed out instantly." You chuckle, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Sweet. Yeah." He agrees, sensing a shift in tension. He starts the car and you start back down the driveway, getting back out onto the road after closing the gate behind you.
"So, did you tell her about Quinton?" Rafe laughs.
"No, that's a breakfast conversation for sure." You chuckle.
"A breakfast conversation? Really? Why do you have to put other people through that?"
You shrug in response. "Because I don't give a shit if anyone knows."
"That guy is a dick, you know that right?" Rafe says suddenly, and you look over at him as he stares at the road.
"Well, yeah, but we're kind of friends so..." You reply defensively.
"He's not worth your time. I know him pretty well, and just like, don't bother." Rafe says, glancing over at you for a second.
"Maybe I'm not worth his time." You reply.
"Nah. You can do so much better. And it wouldn't be hard." Rafe insists.
"Thanks." You say hesitantly. You've never been the best at accepting compliments, but Bella has told you to work on it, so when in doubt, just say thanks.
Luckily you don't live far from Bella, so you pull up to your house in just a few minutes. You open the door, grab your bag off the floor by your feet, and going to shut the door. You've been sitting on what Bella said, really just marinating in the thought of you and Rafe together. No harm in trying, right?
"Aren't you coming in?" It comes out more passive-aggressively than you intended when what you meant to ask was if he would like to come in, but that's just not how your mind works sometimes. His head snaps up at this, and he's already undoing his seatbelt.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure." He agrees quickly, turning off the car.
part one
taglist: @slut4drudy , @madelynie , @mutual-mendes , @sadfury , @totallynotkaibiased (i also tagged some mutuals who like my other stuff so if you want to be added or removed lmk!!)
#rafe cameron#obx fanfic#obx#outer banks#rafe obx#rafe cameron x oc#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe x you
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it took very little encouragement to convince me so as described in this post here is the fake aita post i wrote from barty's pov while writing call me fate, call me karma... this was all written in jest, i do not use reddit nor care at all to try make this realistic to anything ever <3 don't take anything too seriously.
tw // transphobic & homophobic slurs used by a hostile commenter who faces immediate backlash/punishment. slurs are both censored and target identities to which i as the author belong to.
WIBTA for questioning my GF's distant behaviour when she clearly doesn't want to talk about it? ESH, 1 Update, [THIS POST HAS BEEN LOCKED]
I (18M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for over 3 years now, and we'd been close friends for 4 years before that. We go to a boarding school, and due to the girls in our house and year being shitty, she moved into the boy's dorm with our friend and I before we even got together, and we're in our last year of school now before we graduate. We practically spend all our time together and our relationship is very strong, we've avoided talking too much about plans after graduation because we both come from very restrictive families (Without going into too much detail, we both face very specific expectations for what our adult lives will look like) and our relationship is a secret from everyone but our close friends, but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She's everything to me and I've always gotten the idea that she feels the same about me, and honestly, whatever she wants to do after we graduate, I'd follow her. I don't really care where I go/what I do as long as it means I'm with her. I can't imagine life without her.
Lately, she's been acting really strangely. I guess it started during exams, but that's normal for her. We're both pretty academic people but she especially devotes everything into her schoolwork, so it wasn't a surprise when she was distant in the lead-up to and in the midst of our final exams. She didn't talk much, and spent practically all of her waking time studying. (Side note, she did amazing on the exams. I'm super proud of her.)
After, though, she was still distant. She started receiving letters at breakfast which she'd quickly hide, and never read in front of anyone. Sometimes she'd excuse herself entirely from breakfast, assumedly to read them, and wouldn't eat at all. She's been antsy and visibly stressed more often than not. Like I mentioned before, she has a difficult family life, and I'm not surprised that she's nervous in the time leading up to graduation, but usually she'd talk to me at least a little about that sort of thing. Plus, I know what letters from her family look like, and these letters look nothing like anything she'd ever received before. She's been less physically affectionate than usual, and sometimes she shows up after disappearing randomly looking like she's just been crying. I'm really worried about her, but I know that if she wanted to talk to me about it, she would, and she's been insistently ignoring any indication of concern from our friends or I. Even the slightest questioning look, she completely shuts it down. I don't want to upset her by bringing it up, because that's not really the way we function as a couple, but I'm starting to feel hopeless. We don't really talk about our issues, and when we do "communicate" it's only ever when we argue about things. I'm also really worried that I've done something wrong, or that she doesn't want to stay with me. I don't want to admit it because it scares me too much, but I can't help the nagging fear in the back of my mind.
Basically, I'm trying to ask if I should mention it, or if I should wait for her to say something on her own? Something has to happen eventually, because we've both known at least with graduation that we do need to decide on what we're going to do with that, so maybe I should just wait for it all to come up. There's only a few more weeks until we're set to go home, so I could probably just hold on. It's just really worrying me and I don't know how much longer I can handle the uncertainty, and I don't want her to be struggling alone. Would I be TA for bringing it up?
(122 DOWN)
Sounds like you guys need to learn how to communicate, holy shit. (467 UP)
If you're just gonna be a dick I don't want to hear it. This is just how we function and we've been fine for years. (531 DOWN)
I don't think you'd be TA for bringing it up, but in general it sounds like your relationship is somewhat codependent. Your entire life shouldn't be reliant on what she wants to do, bro. Sounds like you need therapy. (271 UP)
Look, I just want to be with her, okay? I've never cared about what I do. I don't see the issue, you're all overreacting. (113 DOWN)
It sounds to me like she's cheating on you, dude. (364 UP)
Fuck you. You don't fucking know her. She wouldn't do that, and I don't like you suggesting that she would. I'd beat the shit out of you if I knew who you really were. (210 DOWN)
Looking through these replies, you're being super defensive. Maybe she has a perfectly innocent explanation, but the main theme here is that you both have some issues that you need to work through. This isn't a healthy way for either of you to live, I recommend individual and/or couples therapy for both if possible. (545 UP)
Whatever, man. Not the god damn point of this point. If I knew Reddit would be so useless I wouldn't have bothered posting here in the first place. (478 DOWN)
Update
Hahaaaaa!! Fuck you guys. Reddit is fucking useless, but I'm here because I want to shove it in the face of everyone who told me I was being cheated on. Fuck you!! You don't know shit about my relationship!! I don't need therapy, assholes!! Me and my boyfriend are perfectly okay the way we are!!! Yeah, that's right, boyfriend! He's just trans!! He realised it during exams and freaked out because he was worried about losing me but he didn't lose me because I don't give a fuck if he's a girl or a boy I wanna spend the rest of my life with him!! The letters were between him and his estranged brother (19M), who'd ran away a few years ago because he hated their family, but he's gay, and my boyfriend didn't know who else to reach out to. And he'd been crying all the time because he was dealing with fixing his relationship with his brother and he was scared of what would happen after he came out. I didn't even need to bring it up, he finally told me! He finally told his brother a few days ago after exchanging letters for a few weeks, and told me after getting a letter back from his brother accepting him. His parents wouldn't accept him, so we're discussing fucking off away from our families and moving in together. Like I told you guys, I'd do whatever as long as I could stay with him, so that's what we're doing! We might be moving in with his brother for a bit while we find somewhere to live, which will be interesting, because he doesn't know we're together, and he hates me, and i kinda hate him too still for abandoning my boyfriend, but I'm willing to give him another shot if my boyfriend is. Anyways we're doing better than ever and I gave him a haircut and he looks amazing, I love him so much.
(73 UP)
Happy for you and him both but that doesn't negate the fact that you both still need therapy. Especially if he has to cut his parents off because they wouldn't accept him. You didn't give many details, but if his brother ran away (assumedly as a minor) because of their parents, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that it was an abusive environment. Even if not, therapy is still good. (175 UP)
Why would he need therapy if he's literally cutting them off lol. They're gone now it doesn't even matter anymore. (313 DOWN)
I truly am glad that it worked out well between you guys but it's so crazy reading these and all your comments. I mean this in the best way possible, you are both mentally ill. Therapy is a good thing. Just try it. (231 UP)
Jfccc you guys worry too much. I shouldn't have even bothered with this update. (282 DOWN)
Got invested just to find out she's a delusional tr***y and you're a f****t, wow. (278 DOWN)
192.158.1.38, Mr. John Doe. 123 Maple Street. Anytown, PA 17101 (263 UP)
Thanks OP for doing the hard part of the work for me, a swat team is currently on route to his house. (182 UP)
Thanks, mate. I knew there had to be some decent people on this website. (101 UP)
#this is Sooo Dumb#SO fun to write though#i highly recommend doing this it actually helped me a lot#i love writing characters that are objectively wrong. go king reject any suggestion of therapy!! you ate that trauma up!!#barty 'i'd beat the shit out of you irl' crouch jr#bartylus#barty crouch jr#regulus black#series: i'll try anything once
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You are your fathers daughter - Red Dead Redemption Reader Insert - (Part Six)
Plot: Arthur, Charles, and Javier bring Sean back where you and him spend some time together.
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: Smut, unprotected p n v sex, drunk/tipsy sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), first time.
A/N: This is my first smut so idk really know if it's good or not but I enjoyed writing it.
If you want to read the previous parts of "You're your father's daughter", you can find them here
Today was the day. The day that Arthur, Javier, and Charles would go back to Blackwater to save Sean. Trelawny had a good lead on where he was so Arthur was going to meet up with him and the others.
"You sure I can't come?" You ask, handing Arthur one of his guns. He huffed "You can" he paused smirking at your excited grin "But you're not goin to, I ain't risking your life for some crush." You glare at him, your cheeks a light pink "That doesn't even make sense" you huff, Arthur chuckled and ruffled your head "Can you at least watch over camp while I'm gone?" he asked. You nodded and watched him ride out of camp.
The day went on as normal; you did chores, chores and more chores. It was exhausting and the day still wasn't over. Sitting next to Tilly and Mary-Beth as they both read, the three of you started talking about the type of guy you would like to marry.
"I want someone who's sweet and shy but strong when they need to be" Mary-Beth said, playing with her hair. "What about you?" Tilly asked you. You shrug "I don't know...I'm not really the marriage material." John chuckled from a few feet away "That's for sure" he said, Mary-Beth chucked a stone at his head, making him yelp and move away.
"Aw, come on, there's gotta be some type of guy you like" Mary-Beth said, trying to cox you to tell them. You sighed "I want a guy that's funny and sociable. A guy that can make conversations with anyone." Mary-Beth giggled "It sounds like you're describing Sean." Your face goes pink "Sean? No, he's like an annoying brother." Tilly smiles "Really? You're blushing an awful lot." You groaned "Maybe I like him a little...but doesn't Karen like him too?" Tilly shrugged "I think she's over him."
Karen joined the three of you, a bottle in her hand, which wasn't really surprising "Who's over who?" she asks, tilting the bottle upward to drink.
"You being over Sean" Mary-Beth told her, Karen snorted "Please, I've been over him. Why you askin? Someone else like him?"
"(y/n), does." You rolled your eyes, thanks for that Mary-Beth. Karen chuckled "Well, good luck with him (y/n), he's a handful." Your face flushed an even darker red and you looked away. How embarrassing.
"You really like him, don't you?" Mary-Beth asked and you nodded "But you like that Kieran boy too?" You look at her "I mean, he's cute yeah, and we've been fishing together but that's about it, why? Do you like him?" Now it was Mary-Beth's turn to get all flustered "A little, but he's an O'Driscoll." You let out a laugh "He's not an O'Driscoll, he save mine and Arthur's life." Mary-Beth looked behind your shoulder "Speaking of Arthur, is that him?" you turned around and she was right, it was Arthur. You looked around "Then where's Sean and the others?" You asked, anxiety bubbling in your chest.
The first thing you heard was Sean's voice, he was riding with Javier on the back of Boaz, you could tell Javier was getting annoyed at the Irishman's ramblings. Sean dismounted and almost immediately he was bombarded by questions and welcomes. He took in all the welcomes and praises and before the night fell a party already started.
You took it all in, everyone was drinking, Dutch's music was playing as he and Molly danced and now you just wanted to see if there was anyway you could get to Sean without being interrupted. Sean was already downing his third drink by the time you caught up with him "There's my girl" he slurred, pulling you into his lap, you let out a gasp "Sean?" you ask, his hands finding your waist. He chuckled and started kissing your neck, his facial hair feeling scratchy on your skin.
"We can't" you whimper, feeling like putty in his grasp "You're drunk, you probably don't even know who I am." Sean chuckled, practically purring into your neck "Of course I know who you are love." You narrowed your eyes at him "Oh really? Then what's my name?" Sean scoffed "Geez, enough with the questions (y/n), you want me to fuck ya or not?" Heat started to form at his words and you rubbed your thighs together. Yes, you really did, but he was drunk and probably speaking out of his mind.
"I do" you whimper "But you're drunk, it's not right, you're not thinking clearly." Sean scoffed "I'm thinking as clear as ever love, come on" he started nipping and sucking at your neck, most likely leaving marks. Almost everyone was drunk, so no one was bound to see the two of you but still.
"In a little bit" you told him "I haven't had a drink yet." Sean barked out a laugh "You, little Miss Van der Linde, drink?"
"Not usually" you tell him, getting up off his lap, choosing to ignore his raging boner that was poking through his jeans. He grumbled from the loss of contact but got up to follow you to the crate that held the liquor. You picked a bottle up, even though you looked confident, you didn't feel it. You've never drank in your entire life, you didn't see the appeal. Sean smirked at your hesitance "Go on then lass, drink up." You rolled your eyes but opened the bottle up and took your first sip. Wow. It did not taste good at all, but when you swallowed it, the burning in your throat felt strangely good.
You had no idea how many drinks you had, but as Sean dragged you into some random tent you knew you had too many. He pulled you into a sloppy kiss, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down, your underwear soon followed. "We have ta be quick, love" he said, pulling his own pants and underwear down. You whined and started grinding on his cock, but stopped forgetting something, your face turned red, either from the whiskey or the embarrassment.
"I'm a virgin" you told him, holding onto him, burrowing your head into his neck. He stopped his movements "A virgin?" he asked and you nodded "Y-yeah, but I still want to, please take me Sean." He growled and set you down on the bedspread "I'll be gentle" he promised. Who knew your first time was going to be a quickie and you tipsy?
He opened your legs and kissed down your thighs, once he got to your already aching and wet pussy, he kissed your clit and shoved two fingers inside. You let out a loud moan, which you immediately covered with your mouth. Sean tore yours hands away from your mouth "Nuh uh, lass, I wanna hear ya." He went faster, his tongue sucking on your clit, making you squirm and hold onto his orange locks, pushing his head in more. You felt something happen, you arched your back and let out a cry of pleasure as you came. Your legs shook and your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath "That was" you gasped "Amazing?" Sean asked, giving a kiss to your clit.
You nodded "Yeah, it was." Sean smiled "Ah, but we're not done yet, love." Oh, yeah, you forgot. "Ya ready?" he asked, positioning his cock at your entrance, he pushed in, you arched your back, letting out a small whimper of pain. Sean shushed you and when you gave him the "Ok" to keep going, he pulled out and slammed deep into you. You gasped in pleasure, he thrusted into you, hard and fast. The familiar feeling of your orgasm came back "I-I'm coming!" you moan out, holding onto Sean as thrusted "So am I love" he moaned, his moans were gorgeous, and you hoped this wasn't just a one time thing.
You came, hard, your pussy clenched onto his cock he gave one last thrust as he came deep inside of you. You didn't care, there would be time to scold him later. You breathed, deep and heavy as he pulled out.
"I need a drink" you groaned as Sean helped you back into your clothes. He laughed and kissed your forehead "Come on then" he said, pulling his own pants up and helping you up.
You followed him out of the tent, not knowing that the tent you used to loose your virginity was Johns.
Whoops.
#sean macguire x reader#sean macguire#rdr 2#rdr 2 fanfic#sean macguire smut#sean macguire x reader smut#red dead redemption fandom#rdr smut#rdr 2 smut#rdr 2 x reader#red dead redemption x reader
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Perhaps I am a bleeding heart but it makes me so sad the Sirens are beating up Punchline. You’re telling me a group of women who’ve been through tons of trauma related to abuse (both childhood and in relationships) and wouldn’t immediately clock Punchline as someone in need of desperate help? Like yeah okay she’s an asshole but they were all assholes at one point or another. What happened to girls supporting girls :(
I mean, I getcha, but Punchline was kinda doing the exact stuff that they'd have an issue with in this story lol they clocked onto who was in need of desperate help in this story, and it very much wasn't Alexis.
She was the causation behind Jaina needing help. Why would they offer a hand to the woman who caused all this in the first place? One who's not, and will not, apologize for what she's done, has shown no regret or second thoughts about her actions, and who would kill each and every one of them if given the chance?
Girls supporting girls is the Sirens supporting the woman Punchline was going to, with no hesitation, use as a prop to kill for her elite billionaire subs enjoyment.
And the whole "lets send em to Arkham for the help they desperately need actually" is more Batman's vibe skdjsks
She used Ivy's pheromones without her knowledge. She abused animals. She called Harley a slur.
Not to mention, but none of the four of them are at the point narratively wise where it would make sense for them to try to reach out or for her to accept their support. She doesn't like them and the feeling is returned.
Alexis has personal beef with Harley, she already had a grudge against her before she'd even met her cause she's a damned Joker groupie,,, she knocked out Selina during The Joker War (regardless of the questionability about overpowering her so damned much during her first appearance )
And they've had numerous run ins during Selina's comic that've only continued to sour the dynamic.
And while Ivy hadn't encountered her personally before this story, she did know Alexis is responsible for burning down the Eden she handcrafted for Harley, she slit Harley's throat & had her dumped into the sewer to die.
And then in this story Ivy finds out she synthesized her powers for personal profit.
Minutes before the Sirens got the upper hand, they were essentially baking alive inside a cell Alexis had them locked in.
And I don't think Punchline has that shared trauma type you mentioned? It's something that I think can help tie the Sirens together and find a common ground of understanding between one another,, even when all of their personal goals and motivations are different there's a level they'll come together at.
But, pls correct me if I'm wrong !!! I've seen nothing yet that indicates that that's something tied into Alexis' character. Even her relationship with Joker at this point, which is very on & off, hasn't went to that level that I'm aware of. We've had the scenes between her and Harley in The Joker War but those are warnings from Harley about how this will end, not necessarily representative of the current stage Alexis is at.
Alexis was also incredibly, beyond victim blamey during their encounters. I get why she was the way she is, she's bought into all his bullshit hook line and stinker. But she was wrong. And we all know it. We all know she was talking about shit she doesn't know jack about, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't have effected Harley to hear.
The Sirens are going to hold a grudge. That's understandable. It's also important to keep in mind that Alexis is a very new character so she's very early into her development, there's a definite chance one day maybe 15 years from now where she'll have improved a bit and be on level with them, I hope she gets that cause no one deserves to be stuck with that crusty loser haha
But she's very much in her Deep Rooted Villain arc rn skdjsks there's also a chance that she sticks to being a full time female villain in the gallery to take up part of the place the Sirens themselves leave open and is never on anything close to good terms with them.
And she called Harley a slur.
An actual literal slur. Harlivy especially is not going to play nice with her when she's called one half of their relationship a (very likely) homophobic slur. Selina wasn't here for this, but at the end all of them are aware cause Harley's mentions it again.
She's gonna get beat up by three gays for calling one of them a slur that's just the karmatic balance of things skdjdkks
Batman (2016) #93, #96, #97, #98
Gotham City Sirens (2024) #1, #2, #3, #4
#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#dc comics#poison ivy#pamela isley#selina kyle#catwoman#tw clown boy#tw abuse mention#tw blood#tw animal death#punchline#alexis kaye#♦️ asks ♦️
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I always wondered about what Ross and Adams (or the rest of the bands) reactions were to finding out RG was pregnant. Could we get one about that?
so george obviously finds out in the alleyway outside the club in manchester and you can read a blurb about the moments after this happens here. but for adam and ross they find out later.
not too much later for ross, obviously. he's dancing in the club, pretty fucked now, with a cute girl with a nose piercing he met at the after party. they've made out a few times and he is slow dancing with her when he catches george behind her, standing still, eyes darting around, looking like he has seen a ghost.
"excuse me, love," he says to the girl, and slides out of her arms, "i'll be right back," and then he makes his way over to george. george barely notices him until he claps a hand on his shoulder.
"you okay mate?"
"we've lost RG," george says.
"oh shit," ross slurs, "she okay? where's matty? did he do something to upset her?"
"no," george says, then he turns to ross and looks him dead on. the eye contact almost sobers ross up. "she's pregnant," george tells him, "and she didnt tell matty. she's been pregnant for ages."
"holy fuck," ross says.
"i know," george says.
"like holy fuck," ross says.
george just nods at him.
"i mean, it's okay though right. matty loves that girl. he's obsessed with her. like. he'll be shocked. but he'll do the right thing."
"i know he's in love with her," george says, "but it's matty"
Adam had gone back to the hotel early, sneaking out of the party and leaving his friends to dance, in favour of watching telly in bed with his missus. they are in the hotel room a few doors down from matty's and rg's, not stirring for rg's quick entrance and hurried packing, but pausing the telly and looking at each other when they hear the thump a few doors down of matty hitting the wall. if they listened close enough, they could hear muffled voices, sounding like shouting.
"should we go and see what's wrong?" carly asks adam.
"probably not," adam says, "i dont wanna get in the way of anything."
he texts matty you okay man, i hear shouting, but he doesnt get a response. he shrugs.
"it's matty," he says, "usual shit."
then they hear rg, storming down the hallway, and by the time they get to the door she has already disappeared downstairs and onto the street. the hotel corridor is quiet. they go quietly across the soft hotel carpet to matty's room. adam knocks. no answer. he knocks again. then he pushes the door open, and there is matty, head in his hands on the side of the bed, an absolute wreck. he looks up at adam, and adam realises he is crying. they've broken up, he thinks, he's fucked this up with the one girl he actually wants. carly goes to the bed and puts her arms around him, rubbing his shoulder with her hand.
"i've messed it all up man," matty says, "i've messed it all up."
"what happened?" adam asks, but matty just shakes his head in his hands. about then, the door bursts open behind them and george and ross are there, stinking of alcohol and sweat, eyes squinting after the dark of the club.
"there you are," ross says.
"what happened?" adam asks george, "do you know? we heard yelling."
"don't know about the yelling but..."
"rg is pregnant!" ross cuts in, too loud. adam and carly look at each. other, wide eyed, george nods solemnly.
"with matty's baby," ross says.
"yeah we got that thanks ross," george says, slapping him on the back.
carly looks at adam and he says, "okay, not usual stuff then."
#ruins#ruins behind the scenes#matty healy#matty healy x reader#matty healy x you#matty healy x y/n#the 1975 fanfic#matty healy fanfiction#dad!matty
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trying to draw lines of who's queer and who's not is unhelpful and a waste of time and i find it's an impossible task to categorize something as uncategorizable as attraction and identity. i've started thinking of it as more of a sociopolitical label as well as an identity label, and in my opinion that's a lot more useful than sitting around trying to decide if a guy who's only ever been attracted to women and ryan reynolds counts as queer or not. because i feel like if, for instance, a straight cis man who does drag and regularly engages in trans activism and sits down with his state senator to discuss making trans sanctuary laws or whatever. wants to identify as queer. i don't really care? i don't think that affects anyone negatively. i think if someone's involved in queer activism and the queer community and they want to use the word queer for themselves i think that's fine and i think it's not any of my business.
also there's this tendency, especially online, for people to go "well what if an allocishet person uses the word queer for themself even though they arent!" and that doesn't feel like a helpful thing to worry about because like.. what if? who is really getting hurt if a gender nonconforming cishet person identifies as queer? or a woman with two husbands? i saw a post along the lines of "we've got straight girls calling themselves fagdykes this is why inclusionism is bad" and i mean. first of all i genuinely just do not believe that. i don't think there are cishet women calling themselves fagdykes. i don't think people who wouldn't be considered queer by cishet society are often proudly declaring themselves part of the queer community in general. people don't paint targets on their backs for fun. i think it's much more likely that the person they were mad at was nonbinary or bi or otherwise queer. but even if they were, like. if for some reason a completely cis completely straight woman wanted to reclaim slurs for herself, she probably has a reason for that. and it's not really our business anyway.
and i think if someone actually is "only identifying as queer to infiltrate queer spaces and cause discord and hurt people," i think that's a them problem, not a "person who uses labels i don't fully get" problem. and i don't think that happens often except for possibly in discord servers, and i think that's generally called "lying" and "being an asshole."
whenever i see stuff trying to draw a line on who's queer and who's not, whether this person can say fag or not, whether it's okay for this person to use they/them pronouns or not, whatever. "are polyamorous people queer?" "can a cis guy use they/them pronouns?" i think of ace/aro exclusionism and bi exclusionism and nonbinary exclusionism. because the arguments sound the same. something about not being "oppressed enough," about "stealing resources" (what resources?), about "well these ones are okay but those ones aren't," about fakers, about people reclaiming slurs they can't use, about how they're "making us look bad," how they're "not queer enough," whatever. and i think it's petty and useless and pretty stupid when we're in the face of a rise in violent transphobia to focus on that instead of actual problems.
i had a friend in high school who talked about how she doesn't understand sexuality and gender and gender roles because she's autistic. she was a lot like me in that we'd both pick at strict definitions of things like "queer" or "trans" and find exceptions to common strict definitions until they fell apart entirely. and she identified with just her name, not trans, not nonbinary, not cis either. not bi or pan or ace or aro or anything else, and not straight. just herself. and she was fully accepting of me and other queer people in our life and was involved in queer activism and was actively deradicalizing her mom from radfem ideology. i don't know if she identified as queer then or if she does now, but if she did/does, i don't see why she shouldn't. i don't think it'd be my place to tell her not to.
i don't know. i just think if someone wants to consider themself queer it's not my business why. because they probably have a good reason. and i think trying to define something like queerness is an impossible task, and i think there's better things to do. it's not hurting anyone for someone you or i see as allocishet to identify as queer for whatever reason. sometimes you don't have to understand the intricacies of someone's identity and life story and why they use certain words for themselves.
#text#discourse#'straight girls are en masse identifying as fagdykes' is a take that kills me though. man what the hell are you talking about?#the op of that post was like 'that isnt a dogwhistle about trans women btw people are really doing that' and like. no they aren't ��#no they literally aren't lmfao#f slur#d slur
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I saw a post earlier about "women's spaces" and how the writer had often experienced them as hostile rather than inherently safe and welcoming and therefore precious. Now, I could relate to that to some degree, as I still tend to start off pretty tense at events for, say, queer women even though I now go quite a lot of them: "hello I'm bi! If anyone's going to have a problem with that it would be nice to get it out of the way immediately!" But I do value some women's spaces. I would be sad if gendered loos, for instance, went away completely. I've had mad, intense conversations in women's loos that I do not think would have happened in an evenly mixed setting. I have experienced the Drunk Girl Oracle who exists nowhere but in the queue for the ladies: I want her habitat to continue to exist. But the thing is: no "women's space" I've ever been in has ever been this inviolate grove of Artemis where no man may set foot without getting turned into a fucking stag.
Trans women are women. Trans women belong in women's spaces. Trans women make me feel not less but more safe in women's spaces, for reasons that will become clear. When transphobes are screaming that the sky will and does fall in whenever a trans woman walks into a women's bathroom, of course I argue from that starting point.
But also I think it's worth examining the entire premise that spaces FOR [this type of person] are inherently spaces from which [that type of person] is banned.
So like, where are these women's spaces that don't come with the common-sense understanding that while usually, mostly you won't see men in there, if you do he's probably got reasons and its fine?
Is no one else seeing those signs that say "these premises are cleaned by male and female staff"? What about dads with small daughters? Is it really that bad if a man just plain gets lost or has one shot to avoid an emergency from time to time?
There was this meetup for bi people I used to go to. But of course there were never only bi people there. People brought along friends and partners who might be straight or gay. And oh-shit-it-turns-out-I'm-bi people who were still identifying as gay in the rest of their lives came on the quiet. And there was this one lesbian who -- ironically given a certain slur the GC crowd like to throw at bi women -- came quite unapologetically as a tourist, to observe our strange ways and, as she put it, to "encourage us."
These people were explicitly welcome. It was not a space from which not-bi people were barred. It was still a bi meetup. It was still a "bi space." I was at a sapphics' club night last Friday. And there were some men there. I mean, apparently cis, entirely male-presenting, gender-conforming men in the Women's Space™ . Some of them were bar staff, for starters. Is that OK with the GCs? Does all the terror and horror and loss at the thought of a man in your precious Women's Space go away if the man's being paid? If so, it seems oddly ... conditional. But also some of them some seemed not to be working but just sort of ... there. Maybe they were somebody's friends? They certainly didn't bother anyone. I didn't see where they ended up. You see, I was mainly focused on the hot chicks.
There's another wlw event I go to, to which a guy regularly shows up and we've chatted a few times. He usually wears what you'd conventionally call "women's clothes" but does not present as a woman. I know he uses he/him pronouns at present, (I asked) though he implied there was some possibility that might change. I don't know if he's a regular because he's a friend of the host or if he's a friend of the host because he's a regular. I don't know if something about the wlw label speaks to him on some personal level or if it's about queer solidarity, or if he's like the encouraging lesbian at the bi meetups. Whatever the reason, he's just there.
And aside from the fact that we have similar taste in hats, his presence in ye olde sapphic space also makes me feel more safe, for much the same reason the presence of a woman I know is trans does. I'm afraid it's selfish. Because if everyone's being cool about him, or about her, I can be pretty confident no one who finds out that I, too, disrupt binaries just by existing, is going to decide to ruin the evening over it. Because, you know, that has happened to me.
Now like I say, Actual Men in women's spaces aren't the reason trans women belong in women's spaces. But Actual Men entering women's spaces and not thereby ruining them forever do illustrate the utter pointlessness of thinking of women's spaces as these high-walled fortresses to begin with. Spaces for [a type of person] can exist, and still be porous. In fact, to be healthy and functional, they have to be.
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STOLEN HEARTS CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Billy nodded, “I know it's not,” he said, taking a bite of his food. My eyebrows raised in question, “You know? How do you know?” I asked. He finished chewing his food, opened his beer, and took a long sip. “He told me.” That was his answer before going back to eating. “Care to elaborate?” He shrugged, swallowing what was in his mouth. “He kind of sobered up a little after you left. I decided to give his drunk ass a ride home instead of kicking his ass and catching a lawsuit. He mumbled the whole way there in between telling me where to go. Sobered up more and broke down when we got there and saw you actually left.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “What the fuck did he think I would do?! Stay there and take his shit?! Did he send you over here to talk to me and get me to go back to him?! What happened to the Billy Hargrove that didn't give a fuck about anyone else but himself? Hm? Where did he go? Since when you fucking care, Billy? Not like you to do bitch work!” I yelled. Billy put his chopsticks down, placed his hands on the counter, and leant forward. “Watch your fucking tone with me. I didn't come here because of him or for him. I came here…because…”
“Because why, Billy? Because you felt bad for me?” He rolled his eyes “No, I don't feel bad for you. If you want the truth…the truth is, I know what it's like. I know I'm not some Saint and I was a jackass in school. I took advantage of girls and used them for my own pleasure because I know I could. Stacy is the same way. She uses men to her advantage. She finds you threatening because you have something she never will…Eddie and the fame. That’s what she wants, she wants fame. She gets Eddie then she can have fame.”
Billy stepped closer to me and leaned his hip and arm on the counter. “Look, at one point I was jealous of Munson. Not only was he able to get out of this shitty town, but he always had a very pretty girl on his arm. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't thought about stealing you away from him. Hell, back in school I had that thought all the time. But I knew you would never give me the time of day or a chance. You're not the kind of girl I wanted to just sleep with and more onto the next. I also saw the way you looked at Munson. It only provided that to me more when I was you guys together on MTV and shit. You're in love with the dickhead…”
There was a knock on the door stopping anything more Billy wanted to say. I froze and looked towards the front door. Who could that be? Maybe It's Robin…I did run into her a few times since we've been back and this is a small town, I'm sure everyone heard about what happened. “You going to get that?” I looked at Billy and raised an eyebrow. “What?” I asked. “The door. Are you going to get the door?” I was caught in my head that I didn't realize the person had gone from knocking to ringing the doorbell non-stop. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting there,” I said. When I didn't move Billy let out a loud annoyed sigh and walked to the door. “Wait! What're you doing?”
I chased after him but wasn't fast enough. Billy pulled the door open to reveal a very drunk or high? Maybe both…Eddie. Eddie looked up as I pushed Billy to the side. “I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.” I looked over at him and watched him walk away. Eddie scoffed and my head snapped back to him. The shock of him here turned into slight anger. “What do you want?” I asked, blocking him from coming inside. He was swaying back and forth and I could smell the alcohol on him. He had deep dark circles under his eyes, which told me he hadn't been sleeping.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” He slurred out, pointing a finger into the house. “What do you want, Edward?” His eyes snap down to look at me. “Well…I came over to apolo…apologize,” he hiccup. “But it looks like you have already moved on. Already fucking Hargrove! Can't say…say I didn't se–see that comin’!” I looked at him 8n disbelief. “Excuse me?! What the fuck is that supposed mean? You're the one going around fuck anything on two legs! You're the one that ruined this relationship. Not me! God, you're even drunk right now. I wouldn't even be surprised if you were also high, and with the way your eyes look I would say you are.”
Eddie scoffed, “You don't know shit! I ain't drunk or high!” I laughed at that. I mean I actually laughed out loud at that. “Have you looked in a fucking mirror?! You really thought you could come here and what? Apologize while your shit faced drunk?! You can't even stand up straight, Eddie! Besides, you made it very clear that you don't want me. I'm just a burden for you. I'm getting in your way of being famous! Now, get the fuck off my property!”
I pushed him, making him stumble back. I looked over to his van and froze. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I felt like I couldn't get a breath. Eddie followed my line of sight and cleared his throat. “That's not what it looks like.” I looked back at him and shook my head. “Leave. Now. I never want to talk to or see you ever again,” I whispered. I felt the tears burning the back of my eyes. “Babe…” I held my hand up to stop him. “Don't. You have no right to call me that. You've chosen who you want to be with. I cant–I can't fucking believe you.”
“What the fuck, man!” I felt Billy's hand on my shoulder. “Go back inside. I'll make sure they leave,” he said. “Fuck you! Get your hands off my girlfriend!” Eddie went to lunge forward but Billy put his hand out, pushing it against his chest. “You need to fucking leave me! What part of your fucked up brain told you it was a good idea to show up here with that fucking bitch? Huh?! Great job, man.”
I looked over at the van to see Stacy smirking at me. She crawled across ro the driver's side and yelled out the window. “Eddie, baby, come on!” We all looked over at her. She had a pouty smirk on her stupid ugly face. I saw nothing but red. I hadn't even realized that I was heading towards her or that I had ripped the door open until I was pulling her out of the van by her hair. “You fucking cunt! Let go of me!” I felt arms wrap around my waist and lift me off the ground, pulling me away from Stacy.
“That's enough! Stop! Damnit, yn, stop!” Billy yelled and threw me over his shoulder. “You might want to get you're little fuck toy out of her, Munson. Get your shit together while you're at it.” Billy didn't let go of me until we were back inside and he knew Eddie had left. I had lost all the fight at this point and just fell to the ground and cried.
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