#OP is literally such a great artist and I never even knew– this feels so illegal

[nostalgia-tblr]

I agree but also I don't? Let me think with my hands here for a bit...

There have always been short-lived fandoms and they tended to be the ones with a limited amount of, well, "content" (by which I mean canon content). Movie fandoms would usually be over and forgotten within a few months - I know this because as A Poor I would generally first see a film when the DVD was cheap enough in the supermarket and as a general rule by the time I saw a film its fandom would be long-dead.

The exception being a franchise like PotC, LotR or Marvel (& etc) where there are multiple films coming out at intervals that revive and feed the fandom with new stuff.

So everyone in the notes saying "Doctor Who" or "Star Trek" or even "Harry Potter" are still active because they're old is naming something with a large amount of canon content (massive, really, in the first two cases - you might never run out of new stuff to watch) and we can't really compare those to a Netflix drop of 6 to 8 episodes of something. Modern TV/streaming seasons are shorter which means we have less to work with when making fanworks.

Gifs... Look, I know gifmakers work hard but at the end of the day they're all giffing the exact same scenes with a faithfullness that fic and fanart don't require. Yeah all the popular (shippy, v often) scenes will be giffed within a few days, and unless the gifset is doing something fancy and artistic with it there's only gonna be so much demand for "the exact same shots as the gifset I reblogged 30 seconds ago except the colouring's a bit different maybe." Fanfic reuses tropes and so on, but two fics about such-and-such scene will never be as similar as two gifsets of that scene, purely because of how much the artist/author is being called upon to invent and add themselves.

In my experience tumblr is not a great platform for fanfic, even if you're just linking to it, because tumblr prefers visual works (which is valid!) and the reblogging and comment functions have never been ideal for discussion anyway. And AO3 is massive and you don't have sign in to drop a comment but in, say, the LiveJournal days you'd be commenting on a fic by someone you followed (most likely) so you knew them a bit and were more likely to feel comfortable talking to them, and there was sometimes a reciprocal transaction at work when they commented on your fic in turn. I may love someone on AO3 but their fanfic is literally the only contact I have with them. I don't know who they are, I have far less personal connection there.

If you go far enough back in fandom (even just to the 2000s) there was nothing we could offer each other but words and that made words our currency and so we wrote a lot of them.

Even fannish meta (now "Discourse" for some reason) isn't ideally-suited to tumblr as compared to LJ - no threaded conversations, no ability to lock to a limited audience, and oh my god the way some tumblr themes will fuck up a post to unreadable within even three or four reblogs with additions.

Add to that we're not "supposed to" add to the OP (like this!) but to use the tags to add our thoughts and as the complaints about "prev tags!!" remind us the tags are lost on a reblog unless you screenshot or copy/paste to add them onto a post yourself. So an utterly amazing insight can be lost so easily in the tags of a post and we're scared of getting told off if we splurge our thoughts in a format that can be preserved and passed along without effort from the next person along.

The ability to time-travel (archiving) is also a bit shit on newer sites, and the real-time focus makes commenting on older posts harder and scarier or even in some cases impossible.

LJ comments showed up in your email and LBR who didn't at least once get into a fannish fight there one night and wake up the next morning to replies on a topic you no longer gave a shit about? But if you *wanted* to keep up a discussion for a 50-comment thread then you could. And anyone joining in later would get neatly threaded within it.

I didn't unfollow on LJ because fannish posts were interspersed with more personal ones (helped by the friends-lock option where you could talk without everyone on the internet overhearing - imagine that!) so when they left My Current Fandom I might keep them cos I felt like I knew them, I'd read their lives and they were funny or whatever. Like there's a "moot" I have on DreamWidth that I don't think we've been in the same fandom together since about 2006... but I also followed along while they struggled with IVF and started a family and so by 2008 she was someone I felt pretty close to as internet relationships go. We had the chance to share our lives and often to have more in common with someone then Current Fandom. Tumblr is different because when I finally grow bored of gifsets of X And Y Do Something Cute In One Of The 12 Episodes Of My Current Show that's kind of the only thing I was sharing with that fandom's tumblr moots and so when I leave a fandom there might be no point still following someone for that sort of thing. And they feel the same way about me, which is fine! We don't have to marry each other to share a fandom for a while!

Short-form content generally doesn't appeal to me and can allow for limited creation or discussion (Tumblr is for gifs, Twitter is not much use for anything but Hot Takes, TikTok is for... I dunno I found it literally unusable so clearly that's not one for me) but I think the loss of long-form text content hosting is more the issue than the latest media/canons themselves. SPN gets a mention in the OP and aren't there about 15 seasons of that? So again it's about the amount of canon content we have to work with as fannish creators. We can only transform a work so many times before we run out of things to say about it and need to find a new one.

Not people saying “Fandom has always been like this” in that vent post I made. No. It hasn’t always been like this. Fandom has NEVER been like this until recently and if you were in fandom pre-tumblr purge, pre-twitter, pre-netflix boom, pre-tiktok….then you would fucking know it was nothing like this.

We still had the drive to create. We still sold prints and charms and made zines…but it was never like this.

The introduction of streaming, binge shows that drop all at once, tiktok and vine RIP i still love u vine but you were the beginning of a particularly ugly era) creating this bite sized, quick paced ‘content’ era of creation and it bled out into fucking everything else.

Fandoms didn’t die down when the show ended or the season was over. You didn’t mass unfollow artist, writers or moots just because they changed fandoms. There wasn’t this need to please the algorithm in order for your posts to get seen by people and enjoyed.

Fandoms used to last YEARS. Star Trek is literally the oldest running fandom out there and you got people in there that could care less about the new stuff and still have been happily prancing through their fucking fifty year old fandom today. Hell, even SPN after all it’s fuckups and shitshows has a dedicated fanbase STILL creating tons of art and fic.

There is no patience anymore. No calm feeling of taking in fandom and friends at a pace that which doesn’t make you stressed and is still fun.

Do I blame fandom for this? Of course not, but people are complacent with it and start changing their vocab to accommodate and end up making the situation so deep it cant be fixed.

We call Art & Fic Content now, completely stripping the value of what it is to a level of consumerism instead of personal entertainment & community bonding.

[invisiblekatanaartwork]

Artist’s Blog #132 - Rambo: First Blood Part II

Rare Case Where Sequel is Better Than Original

I’m not sure how many times I’ve seen Rambo: First Blood Part II, but it’s too many to count. I can narrate the entire movie from memory and even quote much of it. A friend of mine once told me a tale of how he reenacted the entire movie after drinking too much to the family of an ex who opposed his political views. He simulated scenes by jumping over couches and crawling under tables. All the while making sound effects and firing his invisible belt-fed machine gun. Natural Light and Rambo are a great pair. However, the next morning he was walking home single from Columbia, SC, literally. This is a 106-mile walk. Respect due though, to this day Rambo: First Blood Part II is still one of his favorite movies. Therefore, let’s move on to my thoughts about this 1980s action masterpiece.

In my opinion, there are only three movies where I really think highly of the sequel. The first is John Carpenter’s Halloween Part II, the second is Terminator 2 Judgement Day, and Rambo: First Blood Part II. In the case of Halloween, the sequel is just as good as the first part with the first only being better because it’s the first and because it’s Halloween. Anyway, Rambo: First Blood Part II, in my opinion, is a rare case where it as the sequel is completely better than the original, which is 100% amazing itself. You can read my blog on this classic, First Blood, here. Let’s jump into why I feel this way because that’s the real blood and guts of this blog.

From the NW Wilderness to the Jungles of Vietnam

Transitioning from the wilderness of the Northwest to the jungles of Vietnam allowed Rambo access to new tools. In First Blood, Rambo had his “hunting” knife and rifles taken from LE and military personnel. In Rambo: First Blood Part II, John Rambo not only has access to guns and his knife but what become an iconic weapon for him – the bow. The arrows for this one are complete with screw-on exploding arrowheads. Moreover, First Blood Part II has many great scenes. When Rambo escapes captivity, the heavy action sequence leading to the POW rescue begins; consequently, the excitement builds. It’s this section of the film that may be the highlight. A well-known part is when Rambo, covered in mud lying against a mud bank, opens his eyes to reveal his hidden location. He then plunges the blade of his knife into the Jugular vein of a passing Russian soldier.

3 Strikes and You’re Out Murdock

In Rambo: First Blood Part II, John Rambo finds himself back in his element, in the jungles of Vietnam. This is the key point that makes this installment so much better than the first. The tale reveals that this commando learned his craft in the jungles of Vietnam while serving his country in the Green Beret. Running from the police for his life wasn’t combat Vietnam but, rescuing POWs from the clutches of the torturous North Vietnamese was. This also happened to be his passion. They inform Rambo that he will be taking photos and instruct him not to engage. This was strike 1 for Murdock and Rambo’s reaction shows where his heart is. The only lens he wanted to look through was one mounted on a rifle.

I’ve never known any special ops guys personally but, I have talked to a few. A fellow I know well told me that he knew several. Some personality traits that they commonly possess are quick and effective decision-making and attention to detail. I realize that Stallone is not really a commando but, Rambo demonstrates attention to detail. One of the few lines Rambo says verbally, because he speaks with action, happens in a brief conversation with Troutman. John tells his colonel that he has already seen through Murdock’s lies based on misinformation he provided about a military unit he (Murdock) supposedly belonged to. Rambo tells Troutman the truth of the unit and clarifies that his trust is ONLY in Troutman. Attention to detail allowed him to see through the lies of the man sending him back to the jungles of Vietnam. This was strike 2.

When Rambo: First Blood Part II was released, it was the ‘80s. In the ‘80s, the media was being used, just like today, to sway the opinion of the masses. They were and still are guilty of being a propaganda psyop machine. If there was a “bad guy” in a movie, he/she was Russian. Rambo: First Blood Part II was no different. Regardless, the interrogation scene and characters are part of this film’s high points. Lt. Col. Podovsky and his muscle Yushin are both Russian and interrogate Rambo. Some of the most iconic interrogation lines in movie history are found in this dialog. At one point, Podovsky calls Rambo’s capture an “embarrassment” and explains that they “must” interrogate him, as if they didn’t enjoy doing it. He also reveals to John that he was “…abandoned on direct command” – strike 3 Murdock, you’re out. I’ve never seen a better interrogation scene.

You’re About to Have a Bad Day Movie Moments

In a recent blog on Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon, which you can read here, I mentioned movie moments where people must have crapped their pants. When Bruce said, “You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple” was one of them. When John Rambo radioed in that the base needed to prepare for an emergency landing and that he had American POWs, Murdock crapped his pants. I know I would have. For anyone who has seen this movie, Murdock meets the business end of Rambo shortly after this. Let’s circle back to the interrogation scene I mentioned. Remember, the last thing Murdock hears prior to John’s arrival is Rambo telling him that he’s coming to get him.

Nostalgia Around Rambo First Blood Part II

In the upstate of SC, there’s a place called the “Jockey Lot.” You can read more about this outdoor/indoor flea market mecca here. Anyway, when we were kids in the ‘80s and ‘90s we would frequent this market and buy “Rambo” knives. These were cheaply made imitation knives like the one Stallone carried in Rambo: First Blood Part II. The coolest part was that the handle had a compass and would unscrew to reveal a compartment to carry waterproof matches, etc. After scoring our knife with weeks of saved allowance, it was off to the neighborhood woods to pretend we were commandos. Rambo: First Blood Part II is a trip down memory lane and puts me right back to being a kid again. I suppose this is one of the reasons I enjoy it so much, nostalgia.

Rambo: First Blood Part II is one of my all-time favorites and one that I watch repeatedly. Believe it or not, dancehall reggae music and Rambo have something in common. One day I came home and turned on the reggae channel on TV while I cleaned up my house. I heard a dancehall artist rapping about what I recognized to be the Rambo story. Quickly, I ran into the room and read the info. Yellowman, an albino Jamaican dancehall reggae legend, has an album titled Rambo. Attention all Rambo fans – check out this record! You won’t be disappointed.

What’s your favorite installment in the Rambo series? Has anyone seen the cartoon? Thoughts? Chuck Norris had one too – you can read my blog on Karate Kommandos here. Check out my art, buy some, and follow me on all social media here. Peace.

[socksual-innuendos]

Regarding The Pinup Zine Rumors

So I had my fun dunking on some stupid claims the past few nights and I would like to make a formal post on it since I am the moderator on the zine that handled character assignments and approval. 

So, for all of you fortunate enough to miss this, let me catch you up to speed. There are some people in this fandom who really enjoy throwing the word pedophile around when they don’t get their way or want attention, and given the zine’s success, they just had to find something to wank about. In this case, it was Jerry the Punk, a Great Khan in New Vegas.

The rest will be undercut due to length. General warnings I guess, if you can read the accusations you can read this post. If you can MAKE the accusations, try not to blow a gasket for being wrong.

Jerry the Punk is a side character in Red Rock Valley who can join the Followers of the Apocalypses. According to some people, he is ‘coded as a minor’ and we shall take that at face value and deconstruct it since there is nothing canonical about him being a minor.

Here is the claim in question

Now, firstly I would like to take full responsibility here for this characters inclusion in this zine. For general topic’d pieces, I gave our artists some suggestions of side characters and which factions they were part of. Where it came to the Followers of the Apocalypse, I had searched the wikia for known male characters in that faction. This lead me to seeing Jerry and looking at his page, which you can read here.

With that said, let’s dive into this objectively, since being subjective about this is no grounds for accusing someone of pedophilia.

Objectively, what we see on his character wikia.

This is Jerry, and here is his general Bio. No age, so that leaves things a wee bit tricky eh? Lets dig further. 

Here is some additional info, maybe we should check here for clues, such as the voice actor.

Listed as MaleAdult05

I could take the time to actually find Jerry’s lines in the files if you all would like and see if there is coded evidence that he gets defaulted to AdultMale#, which defuncts this claim immediately, (even Contreras isn’t named in the audio files as Contreras :^) 

EDIT: Jerry’s lines are found within the folder MaleAdult05, and with his age never specified or said to be read down as a teen, he is therefore not ‘universally read’ as a minor

For a more thorough write up on how Fallout as a whole handles its child and teen characters, please read this.

Lets move onto his quest! Cry Me A River.

Please check the quest wiki page and listen to the audio. He mentions about how the Followers brought books to his tribe when he was a kid and he’d read the old world poetry for hours. 

Already he refers to a time when he was a kid, which he talks about as if Long Ago and would be strange for a teenager to refer to as such, subjectively. There is not much else in regards to the quest as far as I am aware.

“He is minor coded” and “He can be read as a minor” then evolves to

“Literally referred to as a child in every interaction he’s in”

We are given no direct lines despite there ‘literally’ being mentions of this in every interaction about him. And who is saying this if so? To Papa Khan, everyone’s a kid. To Benny, the Courier’s a kid. Does every exact line of ‘kid’ mean that they are in fact a minor and not just younger or more immature than the person calling them that? Considering he’s not Khan material, I can see him being treated like he’s still a kid, especially since he has yet to SUCCESSFULLY pass the rite of passage. Here the second passage is from Bitter-Root’s wikia page

UPON REACHING THE AGE OF ADULTHOOD, you get the shit kicked out of you. Even if you want to argue that Jerry is alive and therefore hasn’t gone through initiation due to canon statements, another canon statement directly refutes it, and we are back to square one.

As for the argument of OP being distraught at the idea of a 16/17 year old being lewded up. I think that they would have a lot more issues than just us if they truly believed that Jerry was a minor and truly knew all there is to know about this rando NPC

Because Jerry canonically writes about fucking. Guess New Vegas is cancelled right?

So, objectively we can see that no, no he is not easily ‘read as a minor’. In fact we had 28+ people who are very against lewding up minors not read him as a minor. This does not account for the other people unaffiliated with the zine that I had talked to, but also did not read him as a minor.

Please be fully aware, headcanons are not canon, and personal interpretations of a character are never means to throw such hard accusations around. The people who are skeeved about this can feel how they want but that does not give them the right to make hard claims about someone they don’t know and they don’t care to talk to to clear things up with.

We as artists do hold a right to be outraged when someone foregoes talking directly to us so that they can make false claims of something genuinely horrible, so please check yourself if you think that this is an over reaction on our part or that this comes off as rude.

For those of you wishing to discuss this NICELY, I will be open to talk about it, off anon, and in good faith. All other interactions will be meme’d 

[somedayonbroadway]

I think all the Newsie's AU's could be really entertaining but I would most like to know about the Leverage one and the Lilo & Stitch one.

Okay, so I had two people in a row ask for Lilo and Stitch while also requesting another outline, so I’ll be doing Lilo and Stitch very soon.

But… I LOVE this one.

So, for those of you who haven’t seen Leverage, you can watch it on Amazon Prime Video. It’s amazing and I adore it. My favorite character is Hardison. He’s everything. Nothing he says ever gets old. Hardison and Parker are literally so freaking cute that I just can’t. And I think I’ve already talked about how Spot Conlon is very similar to Eliot Spencer, at least the way I write him. So this’ll be fun.

So anyways…

Leverage AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Nate Ford

Katherine Plumber — Sophie Devereau

Spot Conlon — Eliot Spencer

Racetrack Higgins — Parker

Albert DaSilva — Alec Hardison

Jack Kelly: The Mastermind

Jack is an alcoholic

He’s only twenty five when this story starts.

He used to work for an insurance company but after that same company let his baby brother die, refusing to pay for his treatment, Jack quit and has been a “functioning alcoholic” ever since.

Jack has anger issues that he refuses to acknowledge

Jack used to pride himself on being emotionally broken, but still never crossing over to the “dark side” of the law.

He’s the son of a numbers runner who was emotionally abusive

Was originally trying to become a catholic priest as he was strong in his faith but has since strayed a bit after losing Charlie, the only person in the world he truly loved

After meeting his team, Jack grows very protective of them, viewing them as a sort of family that he’d never really had, all except for Charlie.

Jack first meets the team when a man comes to him, begging him to keep an eye on a group of thieves as they execute a job he’s hired them for. After they are all double crossed by this man, narrowly escaping death, they come together to set things right and the team begs Jack to continue leading them as Jack shows them how good it feels to do the right thing, even if the right thing requires bending or breaking the rules.

Jack grew up extremely poor but is an excellent artist and chess player.

Jack likes to cook.

Jack loves to learn new things when he can’t drink to continue distracting himself.

Jack is the one to typically choose the clients his new team takes on.

Jack took Charlie in the second he turned eighteen, unable to trust his father who was a no good drunk.

Jack hates that he’s becoming just like his dad but refuses to stop.

Jack is more protective of Race than anyone else, as Race’s optimism and energy remind him of Charlie.

Jack serves as a mentor of sorts to Albert.

He is kept in check by Spot.

Jack is very quick witted, moving from one plan to the next as things change.

Jack gets his own father killed after a mission gone wrong.

Jack gets arrested protecting his team who he knows will go away for much longer than him for all the crimes they’ve committed.

Jack is the one who introduces the group to Katherine, the best grifter he’s ever seen, with whom he ends up falling for.

Katherine Plumber: The Grifter

Katherine is a struggling actress who can’t perform to save her life, though is the best grifter in the business.

Katherine is very careful of her identity, meaning that absolutely no one knows her real name.

Katherine speaks nearly eleven languages.

Katherine has difficulty maintaining real relationships as it’s hard to decipher her acts from reality.

Before becoming a member of Leverage she focuses heavily on art theft

After meeting the team, she bonds with Race over art

Katherine manages to fake her death twice in two years and attend her own funeral at both

As Katherine is the only woman on the team, she often feels as though she doesn’t belong, but all of her boys adore her and protect her at all costs.

Katherine has an abundance of connections around the world, though none of them know her true identity.

Prides herself on long cons that she’d pulled in the past all by herself.

Katherine never reveals how she grew up to her friend as she is very good at letting things go and never getting attached but all of that changes when Jack reaches out to her.

Katherine is wanted in five countries.

Successfully stole the Stanley Cup and replaced it with a replica, though she does not care for Hockey and did all of it out of spite because someone told her she couldn’t.

Katherine makes a game of keeping her real name from Jack as she insists he has to earn the right to know it.

Katherine falls for Jack nearly as fast as he falls for her.

Though Jack and Katherine do sleep together a few times, they agree to keep it a secret for the good of the team.

Though Katherine and Jack aren’t much older than the rest of the team, they take on a sort of parental role for Race and Albert who both grew up orphans

Katherine eventually opens up her own acting company where she finds she is an excellent coach, though she was never a performer herself because she lacked a certain truth element when she would try to perform on stage or on screen.

Katherine is very close with the whole team, but is able to relax while around Spot, as he’s more an equal to her than Race and Albert, and Jack and her have a lot of tension sometimes.

She shares the most with Spot on accident as Spot is easy to talk to.

Runs away at some point to “find herself” after an old team of hers tries to kill her and the rest of her current team and comes back just in time for Jack to be arrested, saving all of them.

Spot Conlon: The Hitter

Spot Conlon was in and out of the mob all growing up. (Eliot was black ops, but I want Spot to be younger, this is different).

He began training when he was very young and is a very skilled “retrieval specialist”

Spot has had to kill before and is ashamed of his past. When asked about it, he calmly asks his team not to get curious because he would tell them what he did 

Though the whole team consists of criminals, Spot believes them, especially Race and Albert, to be innocent and naive and he constantly looks out for them as best he can, acting as a sort of big brother for them until he catches feelings for Race (yeah sorry guys that’s gonna be different too)

Spot is very calm and never shows any kind of panic.

Spot is a trained chef

He grows up only fighting, learning to not get attached

The leverage team is his gateway to figuring out that he is capable of love

His role on the team is protection. He is always around to keep his team out of trouble when something goes wrong or even when things go right and he has to disarm people on purpose.

Spot is wicked smart and is able to discern things from noises, smells, walking patterns etc. always stating “It’s a very distinctive __”

Knows various types of martial arts and uses them regularly

Though not technically a grifter, Spot has an easy time playing different roles and can blend in easily with a crowd.

Hostage negotiator

Survivalist

He’s extremely protective of his team and is willing to go great lengths to make sure they’re safe and secure

Has a budding relationship with Albert who constantly gets himself into trouble that Spot has to get him out of.  

Was known as Sean before Race showed up and gave him a non threatening nickname based on his freckles

Can play the guitar

Manages to get shot at constantly, taking a few bullets but refusing to walk with crutches.

He loves teaching Katherine how to defend herself

Loves teaching Race knew things as well

Speaks six languages

Spot is not familiar with a lot of technology, causing him to often need Albert’s help with that kind of thing

Has rescued Race and Albert from being kidnapped or hurt the most

As times goes on, finds himself more and more in love with his team and really does love to protect them

Sees Albert as a little brother, even if he won’t admit it.

Racetrack Higgins: The Thief

Has been a thief since he was very young, maybe seven, but only gives his team made up stories about how it all started

Has a hard time coping with grief or pain, which is why he likes to make up stories about his past.

Abusive father killed Race’s mother when he was very young

Race grew up in foster care until he ran away at twelve, eventually getting raised on the street by an elite thief who spotted his talents and offered to train him, making him the best thief in the world

Is socially awkward on account of being a loner for most of his life and rarely ever opens up about his childhood

Despite this, Race is very loud and curious, almost childlike with his team, thus why Katherine and Jack become sort of parental figures toward him.

Race did have an older brother who got hit by a car when he was very young, after going out to get food for him. Race blames himself to this day.

Desperate for some kind of real family, besides the thief who trained him, Race meets an older foster brother who teaches him how to boost cars, along with “teaching him other things”. Though his is abused physically and sexually by this boy, Race doesn’t know any better and hangs on his every word, believing that the older boy wanted to help him.

Race is arrested when he’s fourteen, taking the fall for the boy who taught him how to boost cars

Race was a getaway driver at thirteen, and a good one at that.

He is constantly reminded of how he’s not normal, taking a toll on his mental stability as he’s often referred to as insane or inhuman

Race is fairly naive, but does live up to his title as the best thief in the world

Enjoys stealing diamonds more than anything else.

Quickly becomes best friends with Albert and is curious on how to get Spot to open up.

Never went to high school but is still amazingly smart as it takes a lot of math and science and so forth to be a thief.

Enjoys using tasers as a weapon of choice.

Has a bit of a sadistic mind as he enjoys watching Spot beat up on some of their enemies, especially the ones who’d tried to come at him, sometimes even visualizing that they’re the boy who left him behind after using him constantly all those years ago

Eventually does have to confront Drake again, but has his whole team to protect him.

Really loves cash

Is shocked the first time Spot kisses him because, he has been abused before, but kisses Spot again, telling him how different it feels

That’s the first time Race truly opens up about his past and Spot figures out that someone had used him

Has a fear of horses

Is not anywhere near afraid of heights

Has trust issues (obviously) despite the insistence that Albert and Spot (and of course Jack and Katherine but most Al and Spot) would never let anything happen to him

Actually trusts Jack the most as he came from the good side of the law

Does not like psychics

Katherine coaches Race in his social skills, helping him embrace his sexuality and slightly rely on those around him for connection and comfort

Race’s real name is Antonio Higgins, but he’s known across the world as only ‘Racer’

Albert DaSilva: The Hacker

Much like Race, Albert grew up in foster care, though through most of his childhood, he lived with a woman he refers to as “Nana”. Not his actual grandmother, but a foster mother who he adored and actually took care of him.

Often refers to himself as a geek and prides himself in being one as it is the “age of the geek, baby”

Is relied on heavily by the team as he makes a lot of their equipment (eg: coms, modified cell phones, button cams)

Provides CIA level aliases for his team.

Owns the teams vehicle, “Lucille” and is pissed when they manage to destroy not one model, but two

Has an unhealthy obsession with orange soda

Is physically very fit, but is not good in combat situations

Being an introvert for most of his life, Albert took to technology and learned just about everything one can about them

Albert is straight in this one (sorry for my Ralbert fans) but, as Race’s best friend, is constantly trying to subtly get Race to admit he has feelings for Spot

Though he and Spot didn’t get along too well at first, they eventually see themselves as brothers and look out for each other

Claustrophobic

Gets buried alive during a job gone wrong and is showed just how much he’s loved when his team manages to rescue him, believing him to be dead at first

Manages to keep the team very well paid and secured so the government can’t find them

Hacked into the pentagon when he was only twelve

When he was younger, his nana forced him off the computer for one hour out of every day to “give his eyes a rest from the screen” and Albert learns how to play the violin

Mostly used his skills for fun when he was younger, just wanting to prove he could do something

Skipped his senior prom to hack into medical records and get his nana on a high priority list

Has always looked out for the people he cared about

The only one Albert didn’t trust was Spot, as Spot intimidates him until Spot started showing interest in what he did, never commenting on it, but always looking very impressed

Oversells himself while grifting and often relies on Katherine to help guide him

Cares about humanity and the big picture, much like Jack. This is where their bond comes from as Katherine, Race and Spot have spent most of their lives looking out for themselves

Has a soft spot for little kids

Enjoys messing with Spot and making bets with him, even sparking in them having their own handshake which consists of them subtly high diving twice at waist level and then fist bumping. It’s often how they seal a bet or agree on a plan

What do you guys think? Any scenes you wanna see? Any other characters you wanna hear about? Let me know!

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

[rhosyn-du]

Title: A Wonderful Institution Artist: @bidnezz​ Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, various background pairings Word Count: ~53k Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, discrimination against Downworlders, reference to rape, Clave-typical homophobia, implied character death, minor character death Summary: Magnus doesn’t have time for this bullshit. Warlocks are disappearing in New York City—five people in less than three months—and Magnus is determined to find them and protect the rest of his people from whatever took them. He doesn’t have time for politics, and he certainly doesn’t have time for whatever nonsense the Clave is proposing about marrying a Shadowhunter to a Downworlder as part of the new Accords. He doesn’t really have time for a pretty Shadowhunter who’s surprisingly kind to warlock children, either, but, well, he’s always been good at multitasking.

Alec always knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, but he’s spent the nearly four years since the newly-appointed Consul recalled his parents to Idris without explanation making the best of what he can have. When life suddenly offers up almost everything Alec actually wants on a silver platter, he can’t quite bring himself to trust it, especially when it comes with a million caveats and a side of impending disaster. But he knows how to handle disasters, even if the return of the Circle on top of Clave secrets that could destroy the Accords is way beyond the disasters he’s used to fielding. Hope, on the other hand? He doesn’t know what to do with that.

This fic was created for the @malecdiscordserver​​ Mini Bang 2020.

Chapter Seven

It took longer than Magnus would have liked to convince Ragnor to talk to the Shadowhunters. In the end, he had to point out that Ragnor would get to meet Alec (and then presumably tease Magnus mercilessly for the fact that he was still engaged) before he agreed. Still, the several trips Magnus had taken to London to cajole his friend were a great distraction from the wedding planning he and Alec had been trying to do via text, since they were both too busy with other things to meet in person.

One of those other things, in Magnus’s case, being tracking the missing warlocks. With Clary’s vision about the Circle having Dorothea, Magnus had begun to wonder if perhaps the Circle were responsible for the other warlock disappearances, as well. It was hard to know if the MO for Dot’s disappearance were the same, since it was unclear where she’d been taken, exactly, and the Circle had an obvious and clear reason for taking her when they didn’t for the other missing warlocks.

Just like with the other missing warlocks, Magnus could no longer feel Dot’s magic. Which meant that either his friend was dead, or the Circle had found some way of blocking her magic. It was a possibility Magnus had considered with the other missing warlocks, since no bodies had been found, but given that the Circle was involved, it was entirely possible that there were no bodies because those who committed the murders were keeping body parts as trophies. It wouldn’t have been the first time Magnus had seen it happen.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Ragnor complained as they stepped out of a portal in front of the New York Institute. “Do you know how long it’s been since I last set foot in a Shadowhunter Institute? Decades at least. Maybe a century. And now I’m mixed up in Shadowhunter business again, and it’s all because I let you talk me into it.”

“You’re mixed up in Shadowhunter business again because you agreed to brew a potion for Jocelyn Fairchild,” Magnus pointed out. “That was going to come back to bite you in the ass someday with or without my help.”

“I suppose,” Ragnor said with a philosophical shrug. “But she did offer to pay me a great deal of money, and the specifics she wanted for the potion were quite interesting, not something just any warlock could pull off.”

“Ah, so she appealed to your vanity,” Magnus said. “No wonder you couldn’t turn down the job.”

“You’re one to talk about vanity,” Ragnor said. “Do you remember that time in Sicily when—”

“Yes,” Magnus cut him off. “Far more clearly than I want to. Thank you for the reminder. I do not need a play-by-play.”

The one downside to having friends who had known you as long as Ragnor had was that they tended to remember your most embarrassing moments, not to mention bring them up with alarming frequency.

Alexander and Isabelle met the two of them in the entry of the Institute. Magnus hadn’t seen Alec in person since they’d summoned the memory demon, and he was troubled to see that Alec looked even more tired now than he had after the summoning. Magnus wondered if he’d managed to get a single full night of sleep since then.

“Alexander, Isabelle,” Magnus said, “I’d like you to meet my dear friend Ragnor Fell.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Alec said, holding out a hand.

Ragnor shook it, saying, “Indeed. Magnus has told me a great deal about you.”

“You make that sound so ominous,” Izzy said, offering her own hand. “Maybe you and I can swap stories sometime. I can tell you embarrassing things about my brother and you can tell me embarrassing things about Magnus, and we can use them for leverage later.”

Ragnor beamed. “That is quite an offer. You and I should talk.” He leaned toward Magnus and said in a stage whisper, “I think I might get along with this one.”

“Thank you for coming,” Alec said, interrupting Ragnor and Izzy’s plotting. “Clary’s with Jace in the ops center. Still no leads on the Cup or on ways to track Jocelyn, but you said you might have something?”

“I believe so,” Ragnor said, following Alec and Izzy toward the ops center. “The potion I made for Jocelyn is intended to put someone in magically-induced stasis until the spell is removed. I suggested I also make a potion to counteract the one she requested, so she could reverse the effects herself if necessary, but she told me that it was safer not to have something like that on hand and that she or Dorothea would contact me if they ever needed to reverse the effects of the potion.”

“So, you know how to wake my mom up?” asked Clary, who had caught the end of Ragnor’s explanation.

“If Jocelyn is under the effects of the potion I created for her, then yes,” Ragnor said. “Although I never made the counter-potion, as per Jocelyn’s request, I did figure out how it could be done so that I would be able to create it if she ever had the need.”

“That’s great,” Jace said, “but we still need to find Jocelyn and rescue her before we can wake her up.”

“We might be able to help with that, too,” Magnus said.

“Every potion has a magical signature,” Ragnor explained. “A combination of the ingredients used in the potion and the magic provided by the warlock who created it. Most of the time, this isn’t terribly useful, since few potions are truly unique and those of us with enough skill in potion making to actually track a potion's signature tend to brew a great many of them.”

“But the potion Ragnor made for Jocelyn is unique,” Magnus chimed in. “Not only has he never made it before or since, but he developed the formula himself.”

“Which means,” Ragnor said, “that I should be able to track any person who has drunk the potion.”

“We already tried tracking,” Jace said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t work. Wherever the Circle is holding Jocelyn, she’s not trackable.”

“Ah, but this isn’t tracking in the technical sense,” Ragnor said. “When you track, you follow the energy signature of the person you’re tracking. In this case, it’s more of finding the resonance of my own energy signature within another person. You can’t block someone from finding the resonance of their own magic the same way you can block someone from tracking another person’s energy.”

Jace stared at him. “I literally have no idea what you just said.”

“But you’re saying you can find my mother,” Clary said. “Right?”

“With time and some effort, yes,” Ragnor said, “as long as she remains under the potion’s influence.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Clary demanded. “In my vision, they were trying to wake Mom. If they succeed, then we’ll lose our best chance of finding her.”

“What we’re waiting for, Biscuit, is to have an actual plan,” Magnus explained gently. “Finding Jocelyn in this way will take a lot of energy, and as a result, it isn’t something that can be repeated quickly. If the Circle isn't keeping Jocelyn in one place—and they’d be stupid to with as many people as are trying to find the Cup—then we don’t want to try to pinpoint Jocelyn’s location until we have a plan for rescuing her.”

“If rescuing her is even our top priority,” Alec said. “We need to find the Mortal Cup before the Circle does. Jocelyn is one way to do that and keeping the Circle from torturing the information out of her is important, but it would be even better if we could find the Cup ourselves.”

“How can you say that?” Clary demanded, turning on Alec. “We can’t just leave my mother with those people. Who knows what they’ll do to her? And if she knows the location of your Cup, then rescuing her is our best chance of finding it.”

“I don’t think Alexander is suggesting we leave Jocelyn in the Circle’s hands,” Magnus said. “Just that a rescue is dangerous, and if we fail, we might only make things worse, so we should pursue other avenues of finding the Cup at the same time we work on finding a way to rescue your mother.”

“Exactly,” Alec said.

“Biscuit,” Magnus continued, “can you tell me more about this vision you had of your mother? If we can recreate the circumstances, it might give us the information we need to plan a rescue.”

“There wasn’t much,” Clary said. “Just Mom, asleep and surrounded by a sort of greenish glow. Dot was there, but she didn’t look right. Something about her face was off, but it’s all fuzzy, like a dream. And then there was the man. He was standing over my mom, talking to her, but I can’t remember what he was saying. Or maybe I couldn't hear? And then, he turned to look straight at me. I think he knew I was watching.” She shrugged helplessly. “And then I woke up.”

“What can you tell us about the man?” Ragnor asked. “He could be important.”

Magnus looked at him. “You think he could be Valentine?” It was something he’d wondered since Clary had first mentioned a man in her vision, given Jocelyn’s fear that her husband was still alive.

“I think it’s a distinct possibility,” Ragnor said. “Given what we know about Jocelyn’s disappearance and Clarissa’s parentage.”

“I don’t remember much,” Clary admitted. “I didn’t even see his face until right at the end, just the back of his head. He’s taller than Dot, I remember that.”

“This is getting us nowhere,” Alec interjected.

Magnus gave him a sharp look. “Biscuit, do you have any idea what triggered the vision?”

Clary chewed her lip, looking nervous.

“It’s all right,” Jace told her. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”

“I think it might have to do with my necklace,” Clary said finally. “When Mom gave it to me, she told me that if I needed her, I should hold it and think of her, and when I woke up from the dream, I’m pretty sure I was holding it.”

“You were,” Izzy told her. “It caught my attention, which is why I didn’t manage to move out of the way before you smacked into me.”

“Right,” Clary said, with a nervous smile. “Did I ever apologize for that?”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Izzy said, waving her off. “You can’t help what you do when you’re asleep, and anyway, I should have been paying better attention.”

“Biscuit, may I see your necklace?” Magnus asked.

Clary nodded, pulling the cord over her head and handing it to him.

Magnus could feel the pulse of the deep purple crystal in his hand, a very familiar sort of magic.

“This is a portal shard,” he announced. “These are rare, and this one doesn’t feel...right, exactly. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think it was from another world, but I can’t imagine where Jocelyn would have gotten her hands on such a thing.”

“Another world?” Clary asked, startled.

“There are many worlds, Biscuit,” Magnus answered distractedly, still wrapped up in examining the portal shard. “Some similar to ours, some quite different. It’s possible for some to travel between them.”

“Travel between the worlds is usually a seelie thing,” Izzy explained. “I don’t know much about it—they’re very secretive—but I’ve overheard some things.”

“It’s possible,” Magnus said slowly, “that if Jocelyn holds another shard of the same portal, the two can act as a sort of viewing portal between Clary and Jocelyn.”

“So I really did see my mother,” Clary said.

“Hold on,” Jace said. “If there are two of these things, and it goes both ways, does that mean that Valentine could be using the other shard to spy on Clary?”

“Theoretically, yes,” Magnus said. “But this shard is tied to Clary. I can’t use it on my own, for example. I expect the other shard is similarly tied to Jocelyn.”

“But a powerful enough warlock might be able to change that,” Ragnor said, “and we know that Valentine has Dorothea.”

Magnus shook his head. “Dot couldn’t do it. There are very few warlocks who could, alone. It would require both immense power and a comprehensive working knowledge of portals.”

“So, you’re saying that you’re the only one who could do it,” Ragnor said, grinning. “What was that you were saying earlier about vanity?”

“I did not ask for commentary,” Magnus said, scowling at his friend. He turned back to the Shadowhunters. “I think it might be best if I held onto this for the time being. I can keep it from being used to spy on us, and Clary and I can work together to do some reconnaissance of Jocelyn’s whereabouts using the portal shard.”

“What if Mom wakes up and needs to get a hold of me?” Clary asked. “Shouldn’t I have the portal shard then?”

“If Jocelyn wakes up while she’s still in the Circle’s custody, we don’t want her contacting you,” Alec said bluntly. “If that happens, the Circle is going to be using everything in their power to get Jocelyn to reveal the location of the Cup, and that includes you. It’s too risky.”

He turned to Magnus. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to keep it?”

Magnus gave him a soft smile. “I appreciate the concern, Alexander, but I won’t be in any danger. I intend to keep this highly warded when we aren’t using it.”

“As long as you’re sure it’s safe,” Alec said. “We could keep it here at the Institute, in a locked vault where there wouldn’t be anything for the Circle to spy on even if they did figure out a way to use it.”

“I appreciate the offer, but it’s entirely unnecessary. And I’d like to take a closer look at the portal shard before Clary starts actively working with it, anyway. The better we know how it works, the better our chances of using it to find the information we need.”

“All right,” Alec agreed. “In the meantime, we’ll keep looking for the Mortal Cup.” He looked at Clary. “If you remember anything at all—”

“I’ll tell you immediately,” Clary finished in a manner that made it clear they’d had this exchange many times already.

“While Magnus is working with the shard, I’ll start gathering the things I need to track Jocelyn’s potion,” Ragnor said. “As well as the ingredients for the counter-potion, as I assume we’ll want to wake her once we’ve rescued her.”

“We can do that together,” Magnus said quickly, ignoring Ragnor’s look of surprise. “If we were able to figure out you were the one who made the potion for Jocelyn, then Valentine could, as well, especially if Dorothea knew.” He ignored the stab of pain at the thought of Dot being tortured at the hands of the Circle, and continued, “You could be a target.”

“I’ve managed to keep myself alive this long, old friend,” Ragnor said dismissively. “I don’t think you need to worry about me.”

Need to or not, Magnus did. With warlocks missing and the Circle taking Dot, it was hard not to be protective of his friends.

“Have you found out anything else about the other missing warlocks?” Izzy asked, following his train of thought.

Magnus shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. I’ve shared what little I found with Alexander, and he’s returned the favor, but even between the two of us, there’s just been very little to find.”

“I want to take another look at the Clave files on the missing warlocks,” Alec said. “This time with Dot included. If the other warlocks were taken by the Circle, maybe we’ll find a common thread by including her that we missed before.”

“That’s a good thought,” Magnus said. “I’m hoping that perhaps if Clary can use the portal shard to see Jocelyn’s surroundings, she might be able to find out if the Circle is keeping any of the other missing warlocks there. I know it’s a long shot, but she saw Dot before, so there’s a chance the Circle is keeping warlocks close by, whatever they might be using them for.”

“And if the Circle is keeping the other missing warlocks in the same location they’re keeping Jocelyn and Dot,” Ragnor said, “we might be able to include them in our rescue plan. Depending on how Valentine has them restrained.”

Magnus nodded. “That was my thought, too. If we’re very lucky, we might be able to rescue more than just Jocelyn and Dot.”

“All right,” Alec said, “we’ve all got our assignments. Izzy, I’ll meet you in my office in a few minutes to go over those warlock files. Jace, can you take Clary through some more training with a blade? Her defense is still shaky, and if we’re mounting a rescue, it needs to be solid.”

“You got it,” Jace said, holding out a hand for Clary. She took it and followed him out of the ops center.

“Magnus,” Alec said, softer now. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He glanced at Ragnor. “If you don’t mind, Mr. Fell.”

“Not at all, Mr. Lightwood,” Ragnor said, eyes dancing with amusement at the formality. “I actually haven’t had much chance to visit the New York Institute, and I was hoping to get a better look at some of the architecture. I can meet you outside when you’re done,” he told Magnus. 

“I won’t be long,” Magnus promised. He managed to refrain from telling Ragnor to be careful, but just barely. Obviously, the man wasn’t going to be abducted right outside an Institute full of Shadowhunters, well within range of their security cameras. Just from where he was standing, Magnus could see half the perimeter of the Institute on the screens that lined the room.

Magnus let Alec pull him into an empty corridor just off the ops room. It wasn’t entirely private, but it wasn’t exactly public either.

“I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing,” Alec told him. “You look tired.”

Magnus chuckled. “Exactly what every man wants to hear from his intended. No,” he held up a hand as Alec opened his mouth, presumably to apologize, “I’m joking, Alexander. I am tired. Between the Circle and trying to track down missing warlocks, not to mention wedding planning, I haven’t had much time to myself lately.”

Alec watched him cautiously. “Well, I apologize for my part in that, for what it’s worth. If there’s anything I can do—”

“If you think you look less tired than I feel, you clearly haven’t stopped to look in a mirror lately,” Magnus told him.

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to comment on my looks, but not for me to comment on yours?” Alec teased.

“You may feel free to comment on my looks as often as you like, providing you limit yourself to compliments.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Alec said drily. “At least you won’t have to worry about the wedding in a few days,” he added hesitantly.

“I suppose I won’t,” Magnus agreed with forced lightness. “I don’t suppose you’ve reconsidered your position on the matter?”

“I’ve reconsidered it a hundred times,” Alec admitted, sagging against the nearest wall, “but I keep coming to the same decision.” He caught Magnus’s eyes, held them in that way only he could. “But I don’t want to force you into anything. If you don’t want to marry me, then just say so.”

Magnus sighed. “You make it sound so easy. Like that wouldn’t cause a million other problems.” He smiled then, despite himself. “I suppose that means we’re getting married in two days.”

Alec relaxed then, for the first time since Magnus had arrived at the Institute. “I suppose we are. At least we’ll have each other to lean on if arguments during the rehearsal tomorrow get too heated.”

“Don’t remind me,” Magnus said. “I genuinely can’t think of anything worse than the prospect of spending an afternoon with a bunch of Clave and Downworld leaders arguing over my wedding.”

“Tell me about it,” Alec agreed. “But, really, you’re all right?” he asked, returning to the original topic of conversation.

“I’m fine, Alexander,” Magnus assured him, and it was almost true. Just knowing that Alec worried about him helped ease some of his stress. “I promise I’ll get some rest after the wedding. And after we find the Mortal Cup and rescue Dorothea and Jocelyn Fairchild,” he added. “And find the other missing warlocks and defeat the Circle.”

“So, you’re not planning to sleep this year, is what you’re saying,” Alec said with a chuckle.

“It feels like that,” Magnus agreed.

Magnus found Ragnor examining the series of flying buttresses on the east side of the Institute.

“Is there something special about these particular buttresses?” Magnus asked. “Or is this just your weird obsession with the things again.”

“They’re slightly uneven on this side,” Ragnor said. “They shouldn’t be, especially since this is a new world building and so can’t be more than a couple centuries old. Sloppy, really.”

“I’m sure the Clave would be happy to receive your critique on their building,” Magnus said drily.

“Just because you’re feeling tetchy doesn’t mean you need to belittle my hobbies,” Ragnor told him. “You’ve been brooding all day. Tell me what’s wrong. Is this about Dorothea?”

“That’s part of it,” Magnus admitted. “And just, everything.” He looked up, trying to find the unevenness in the flying buttresses, but couldn’t. He clearly didn’t have the kind of eye for architecture Ragnor did.

“I’m getting married,” Magnus said finally.

“Oh, are you?” Ragnor asked in mock surprise. “I hadn’t heard.”

“No, I mean I’m actually getting married,” Magnus said. “To Alexander. In two days.”

“There’s still time to get out of it,” Ragnor told him. “I know you. You’ve gotten yourself out of more dire situations with far less time to spare.”

“But I’m not going to,” Magnus said. “Not this time.”

“Ah,” Ragnor said, and really, that summed it up quite nicely didn’t it?

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Magnus admitted. “With any of this. I’m used to being at my best in the middle of a disaster, and here I find myself in the middle of multiple disasters piled on top of each other, and I feel completely off my game.”

Ragnor made a thoughtful noise, then said, “Well I can think of one solution to that.”

“What’s that?” Magnus asked warily.

“Obviously, what you need is a party,” Ragnor said, as though it were a silly thing for Magnus to even ask. “They always cheer you up.”

Magnus frowned. “I’m not sure this is the best time for—”

“No,” Ragnor interrupted. “No arguments. I’m throwing you a bachelor party, and that’s the end of it.”

“A bachelor party? Ragnor, I’m getting married in two days."”

“Then I’ll have to plan quickly,” Ragnor said. “Since I don’t have time to find another venue, we’ll have to use Pandemonium. And I can get Cat to help me send out invitations. She’s so much better at remembering who might currently hate you than I am.”

“I’m really not sure a bachelor party is the best idea,” Magnus said, unconvinced.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not planning it then,” Ragnor told him. “Now, come on. I’ve got too much to do to waste time staring at buttresses all day.”

“That,” Alec said, dropping into the softest chair in his office, “was an actual nightmare.” 

“I don’t know,” Magnus said leaning against the closest bookshelf, “at least we managed to keep that seelie knight from coming to blows with your mother over the symbology of flower arrangements.” 

Alec looked up at him. He suspected Magnus chose leaning over sitting because the leather pants he was wearing were too tight for sitting to be comfortable. Not that Alec had spent the entirety of their wedding rehearsal trying not to stare or anything.

“Considering how I feel about my mother right now, I’m not sure that goes into the plus column,” Alec said. 

“I’m pretty sure having a fight break out at your wedding rehearsal is some sort of terrible omen,” Magnus told him. “It seems like it should be an omen.” 

“If we really want to talk about luck,” Alec said, “I think the biggest win here is that I didn’t hit anyone.” 

Magnus laughed, head tilted back in a way that emphasized the open neckline of his shirt and the several necklaces that drew attention to his well-defined chest. Now that they weren’t surrounded by dignitaries and his entire family, Alec decided it was okay for him to stare just a little. 

“You can see why I had my reservations about a marriage as a means of solidifying the Accords now, though,” Magnus said. “What with the fact that we had to prevent at least three murders just at the rehearsal.” 

“That I can understand,” Alec said. “Obviously, not all the dignitaries are going to get along. That’s why the Clave and the Downworld took time to select their representatives so carefully, to avoid that kind of thing between the two people actually getting married. I spent hours talking to Consul Penhallow and the rest of the Council before they chose me. I’m sure you must have gone through a similar vetting process.” He allowed himself a small smile. “And they came up with the two of us, which tells me the selection process was pretty good. I never imagined I’d get matched with someone I get along with as well as I do with you.” 

“I suppose that’s true,” Magnus said, staring at something on the bookshelf, although what he could find interesting in a shelf full of books on the history of the Clave’s legal system, Alec couldn’t imagine.

“I have to admit, when I first heard about this idea, I certainly never imagined that I would be marrying someone like you.” 

“What did you imagine?” Alec couldn’t help asking. He’d wondered before, of course, but he’d never been brave enough to ask. 

“An unmitigated disaster involving people who were not me,” Magnus said with an exhausted smile. “I guess that just goes to show that my imagination can’t be trusted to predict the future.” 

“You’re not alone in that,” Alec agreed. Which was a shame, because his imagination was giving him some very lovely ideas about Magnus’s leather-clad thighs just at the moment.

It took Alec a few seconds to realize that Magnus had said something, and he’d missed it entirely. “Sorry, what? My mind was wandering.” 

“I can’t blame you after the afternoon we’ve both just had,” Magnus said, but there was a certain sharpness in his smile that made Alec wonder if Magnus suspected exactly where his mind had wandered. 

“I was just asking what you had imagined,” Magnus said. “You told me a bit about why you volunteered to be a part of this marriage and you did mention that I wasn’t what you expected, but I’m curious about how exactly I defy your expectations.” 

“I imagined a stranger,” Alec told him, deciding honesty was the best way to go. If this marriage was going to work, if there were any possibility that there could be more between the two of them than politics and the beginnings of friendship they already had, then he had to be as honest as possible. “And someone who believed that this union could be a genuine bridge of peace between the Clave and the Downworld. I imagined someone who had as little chance of marrying for love as I did. Someone who wouldn’t care if I could never love her.” 

“That’s...quite sad, actually,” Magnus said. “I can understand giving up on love. Obviously, since I did for so long. But to assume you were always destined for a loveless marriage is just... I don’t know.” He smiled wanly. “But perhaps that’s why I’ve never been married, despite living as long as I have.” 

“What, never?” Alec asked, surprised. 

Magnus shook his head. “Don’t sound so shocked. I know what the Clave thinks of me, but I’m not the sort of man who just gets married on a whim.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Alec said. “It’s just, I haven’t known you long, but I’ve seen you with your friends and with orphan children you barely know and... You have so much love to give, Magnus. I’m just surprised that you’ve never found someone to share your life with.” 

“Wait until you know me a little longer, Alexander,” Magnus said, and there was no mistaking the hint of bitterness and hurt under his smile. Alec wanted to find the people who put it there and punch every single one of them in the face. “I’m sure the reason why will become clear to you.”

Alec shook his head. “I don't think so.”

“But weren't we just discussing how none of this has gone the way you imagined?” Magnus countered.

“Yeah, but that's different,” Alec said. “You aren't at all what I imagined because you're more than I could have hoped for in every way.” He felt ridiculous even saying it out loud. Magnus had to know that already.

“Here I was thinking the same thing about you,” Magnus said. This smile, though small, was entirely genuine, and Alec didn't know what to do with it.

“Things will be different after tomorrow,” Magnus said.

“Some will,” Alec agreed. “But we'll still have all of the same problems to face that we do today. Well, minus the wedding planning, but I'm sure there will be disputes between Shadowhunters and Downworlders that will replace them.”

“Do you really think people will come to us with disputes?” Magnus asked in surprise.

“You don't?” Alec said. “I mean, they're supposed to already, with you being High Warlock and me as Head of the Institute. This is the kind of thing that should be falling on our plates already.”

“But it doesn't, for the most part,” Magnus pointed out. “And there's a reason for that. Downworlders don't trust Shadowhunters, and vice versa. Our marriage isn't going to change that.”

“Not immediately, no,” Alec agreed, “but we can work toward building that trust. Now that I'm officially Head of the Institute, I can even be more open about it. I have so many ideas— But those are problems for after the wedding.”

“I look forward to hearing them,” Magnus said. “But you're right. Let's just focus on getting through the wedding for now.”

Alec rose to set the stack of papers he'd be holding from the rehearsal on the desk. “This is all so surreal,” he said. “It's hard to believe that a day from now, we’ll be married.”

“Not just for us, either,” Magnus said. “I'm pretty sure half the Downworlders planning to attend are doing so just because they'd never believe I married a Shadowhunter unless they saw it with their own eyes.”

Alec grinned at him, leaning back against the desk. “I think it's probably the same for a lot of the Clave. And I think a few are coming just so they can be properly offended.”

“Now that gives me something to really look forward to,” Magnus said. “Offending uptight Shadowhunters is practically a hobby. Do you think they’re more offended that you're marrying a man or a warlock? I want to make sure I cause the maximum amount of offense with my existence.”

“I'm sure there are plenty of people who will be offended by both,” Alec assured him. He shook his head. “I can't believe the first time I ever kiss another man, it's going to be in front of half the Clave.”

Magnus went very still in that way that Alec was coming to realize meant he was genuinely surprised.

“But,” Magnus said slowly, “you've kissed women before.” It wasn't a question, although it really should have been.

“I've never had much interest in kissing women,” Alec told him. It was the closest he'd ever gotten to saying the words out loud, even if Izzy had guessed years ago.

“Alexander,” Magnus’s face was serious as he stepped away from the bookcase and into Alec's personal space, “we don't have to do this. There's still time to call off the wedding. I'm willing to take the blame. I can make up an excuse the Spiral Council will believe, and I'm sure the Clave would be more than happy to blame me. You don't have to do this.”

Alec felt like his insides were folding in on themselves. He'd known Magnus had reservations about their marriage. Magnus had been open about it from the beginning. But he'd never thought this was what would make Magnus decide to back out.

“My inexperience bothers you that much?” Alec managed to force out through the tightness that threatened to close his throat entirely. He realized in that moment just how invested he’d let himself become. In this marriage. In Magnus. Because right now he didn't care what any of this meant for the Accords or the future of the Shadow World. He only cared that Magnus didn't want him.

“It bothers me that you're willing to give up so much for the sake of the Clave,” Magnus said. “Alexander, look at me.”

When Alec didn't move, Magnus cupped Alec's jaw in his palm and tilted his face up to meet his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” Alec said, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice, “that I'm not what you expected when you agreed to this marriage. I should've told you sooner, but I didn't think—”

“You are exactly what I expected,” Magnus told him fiercely, “and everything I wanted when I volunteered.” And Alec didn't know how that could possibly be true, but there was no mistaking the absolute sincerity in Magnus's eyes.

“But you deserve better than to give away your first kiss as part of some political spectacle,” Magnus continued. “You’re so ready to give yourself away, for the Clave, for your ideals, for your family. But, Alexander, you deserve to keep some things for yourself.”

It was so close to what Izzy had said to him, but now, with Magnus's hand on his cheek and standing at close in those sinful leather pants, Alec could finally admit what he wanted for himself.

“Okay,” Alec breathed.

“Okay?”

Alec nodded, then leaned forward. He moved slowly, giving Magnus plenty of time to move away if he wanted to, and he saw the instant Magnus realized his intention, Magnus's eyes fluttering closed and lips parting.

Alec let his own eyes fall shut, one hand coming to rest on Magnus's waist as their lips brushed softly. It should have been awkward. Alec was acting entirely on instinct, and he was pretty sure kissing required actual skill, but Magnus's mouth moved against his own in perfect rhythm, like they'd done this a thousand times.

After a few seconds, Alec allowed himself to get bolder, deepening the kiss and flicking his tongue out to trace Magnus's lower lip. Magnus made a noise of approval, and Alec pulled him closer, reveling in the hard planes of Magnus's body against his, the heat of Magnus's skin through the silk beneath his thumb, the curve of Magnus's leather-clad hip beneath his fingers.

It wasn't until Alec realized he'd backed Magnus up against his desk and was about ten seconds from begging to find out if it was possible to remove those leather pants with his teeth that he broke the kiss. They stared at each other for a long moment, both breathing heavily, Alec’s hand curled into the silk of Magnus's shirt, Magnus's fingers tangled in Alec's hair.

“If you kiss me like that tomorrow,” Magnus said breathlessly, “I think we can offend a number of people.”

Alec shook his head. “That’s not for other people.”

Magnus grinned, disentangling his fingers from Alec’s hair and trailing them down his shoulder. “Well, I’m sure we can find another way to properly offend them.”

“I have faith in us,” Alec said with mock solemnity, causing Magnus to chuckle.

“As much as I hate to go,” Magnus said, moving back a step, “Ragnor will kill me if I miss my own bachelor party, and I’m already running late due to the necessity of not killing anyone during the rehearsal. Will you walk me out?”

Alec nodded. “A bachelor party?” he asked as they moved toward the front of the Institute. He supposed that would explain the leather pants. “Aren’t those more of a mundane thing?”

“Parties,” Magnus told him, “are a Downworlder thing. Surely you must have read that in all of those Clave files.”

“Sure,” Alec said, “but I’ve learned those aren’t always trustworthy when it comes to Downworlders. I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he added with mock sincerity, “but the Clave has a few prejudices when it comes to Downworlders.”

“That’s certainly news to me,” Magnus said.

Although he didn’t need to, Alec followed Magnus outside. He didn’t feel quite right saying goodbye with guards standing around listening.

“Have fun at your party,” he said, not quite sure what else to say, or where they even stood after that kiss.

“Oh, I intend to,” Magnus told him. Then he paused, giving Alec a considering look. “Would you like to join me?”

“At your bachelor party? Aren’t those traditionally supposed to be spent away from the person you’re marrying?”

Magnus smiled at him fondly. “I don’t think anything about our marriage could really be called traditional, do you?”

“I guess not.”

Magnus held out a hand. “What do you say?”

Alec stared at the offered hand a long moment. He should stay and make sure everything was ready for the wedding tomorrow, finish going over those patrol reports he hadn’t gotten to before the rehearsal, maybe even do some patrolling himself to clear his mind.

But.

With a shy smile, he took Magnus’s hand. The Institute would be fine without him for a few hours.

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 18

Protection

“Would you like to Meet my dad ?”

Erik never thought he would hear that question come from Marley’s mouth but it did . And he was thrown off , knowing exactly what he put her through . Why in the hell would she want to go Down this path .

“He and his wife reached out. My Therapist said I should go...Meet with him maybe unveil some hidden wounds or some shit like that”

“Its whatever you want to do” He told her.

“Then I can decide if I want to explore a relationship with him or let him go completely “

Erik , who was very protective over this girl , didn’t want her to get into this situation. Marley had a pattern of forgiving and being too nice to people who hurt her . He hated that trait , he only wanted her to be that way when it came to him. Erik was confident that he had her best interest . Her knew that if he told her not to go, she might do the opposite. And just in case her father decided to hurt her again, he’d be there to back her up. Or fuck him up.

“Yeah I wanna meet that nigga”

So there they were . In Erik’s car driving through mountains of redwood trees and narrow peaks that made it hard to maneuver through . The altitude was so high that the XM radio only spit a static sound . Just to reach her dads property . This definitely wasn’t where he lived when she was younger . Erik asked her if he was rich “or something” Judging by the private driveways hidden with gates and greenery , this new living situation was a total upgrade .

“This is it” he squinted at the tiny lit up address on the side of the steel gate . It was already open so they didn’t have to buzz the intercom that was door level .

Erik drove down the long brick passage, until he got to the circular driveway . Each brick perfectly placed in between healthy green grass . A slight waterfall in the middle , and surrounding it was a Tesla and a Mercedes . Both license plates saying his & hers. Marley grew sick to her stomach when she read them.

“This man , and his wife living an an estate in the mountains with matching license plates” she said in utter disbelief, but she mumbled . The two of them both met outside of Erik’s car and began to walk up to the huge doors. She took a breath and Erik held the small of her back.

“I swear you just say word and we can leave, I’ll get a hotel and everything” Erik could tell she was becoming upset already . He’d sacrifice though , even if the drive was roughly five hours from where they stayed .

“It’s okay . I can do this”

After Erik knocked obnoxiously hard , what Marley thought to be her Step brother opened the door . He had gotten big since the last time she saw him .

“Hi” He said , he had gaming headphones on his ears, and he walked away in true teenage fashion . Uninterested, and trying to get back to the technology. They both walked in, his sister , Marley’s stepsister was walking past . She smiled , waved and went about her business elsewhere . She was nearly a toddler the last time Marley seen her . Her birthday was the day before Marley’s . She remembered because they were always better than hers.

The lady of the house came into view . She wasn’t as dashing as she used to be. It amazed Marley that her father was clearly still smitten by this woman. Marley didn’t know if she just aged badly because she had no melanin or if it was karma for her ruining her life . Karen was her fucking name .

Marley hated Karen more than she hated her father . Her therapist told her not to blame Karen for the actions of her father . Marley would argue that if Karen never had come around , her father wouldn’t have left . To her therapists rebuttal, he explained that her father is who he is, no matter who he married . But Marley didn’t care . Karen did it for her .

Erik held her hand still. Karens eyes bright with surprise. Marley didn’t tell them that she would be bringing her boyfriend , but she wouldn’t have came alone ... they should have known that .

“Hi , how have you been ?” Karen asked her. Marley was fake , she smiled and told her that she was doing well. “You look great , you’ve grown into a very pretty girl”

Karen touched her arm and attempted to be chummy . Marley tensed . She felt so ugly growing up in that old house.

“This is Erik” Marley snapped back and introduced him. Karen looked him up and down. Seemingly pleased.

“Cutie” she said in a tone as if he was a toddler. All that was missing was a cheek pinch. Erik nodded and raised his brows when he looked at Marley.

“Hubby’s on a call, he will be out in a second”

Marley fumed At Karen’s Botox filled expression . Her hubby ?

Marley looked around at how nice the inside of the house was . The high ceilings with two crystal chandeliers that towered over the dining room table and the living room center . The table itself was something out of Game of Thrones , large and royal looking . Heavy and expensive. The hardwood floors sparkled like they had just been polished, so clean you probably could eat from it. And It smelled good in there , Karen was preparing dinner . That was something Marley forgot about Karen , she could cook. Whenever Marley was in the mood to come out of her room and eat , it was good.

“I seen pics of your mom , she look way better than her” Erik was able to whisper without anyone hearing , but even if they did . He wouldn’t care .

Marley laughed , but it was shortchanged . She didn’t even want to bring her mom up . In fear that her spirit would be upset that she would even entertain these people . She wondered what kind of haunting her mother had done to her father. She hoped he had nightmares .

Her father had walked into the room with a smile. Erik could literally see that dark cloud of fear hanging over her . She wasn’t ready for this , and he knew it . He wanted to grab her and take her out of there. Marley felt twelve again . Like a shell who couldn’t move . Erik spoke up for her, he introduced himself .

“Christopher” he spoke and shook Eriks hand firmly , he grip wasn’t as tight as Eriks . Which sent him into alert right away . Her dad was light skinned , with a bald head and beady eyes. Much taller than Erik but not a threat at all. He eyed this guy who was with his daughter . Up and down . His fashionable outfit and those stupid expensive shoes that his step son recently begged him for . He thought his hair style was comedy , the kind that dumb young punks get . Back in his day , they would never fly .

“You some kind of artist or something?” Christopher guessed .

“Engineer”

“So you got you a man with some money, huh?”he joked . Before Erik could respond , Marley had built enough confidence to speak to him . Especially before he offended Erik too much. Christopher nudged Marley in her shoulder like they were old friends .

“H-hi dad” she spoke softly . She didn’t even think he heard her, until he gave her an uneasy side hug .

“Hun, the phone!” Karen came from another room holding his cell phone, Christopher excused himself and took the call.

“Marley, how about a tour?” Karen suggested , as if that would make her feel more at “home” . “I guess” slipped from her lips as she drifted away from Erik . She felt cold now , but he grabbed her arm before she walked away . Pulling her against him, he kissed her quickly . Then she was off to trail along side Karen. Who already seemed to be chatting enough for his liking .

“Aye dude , you play FIFA?”

Marley’s step brother asked from the living room . He was sitting on the plush couch , facing the Tv that was so big , it could be a projector . Nobody else was there but the two of them. “I do”

Erik ended up playing a game with the boy, getting his ass kicked by the teenager who had nothing better to do. Every game system was at hand , he had everything . “Erik right ?” He asked , right before blocking the op team from scoring .

“Yeah , didn’t catch your name though”

“It’s Simon”

“Aight Simon, you too good at this shit... you got 2K?”

Simon nearly rejoiced at Erik’s question . Within seconds he ended the game and switched it to 2K. “Glad I can play this with someone because my dad is trash” he admitted . Erik was taken back

“Yo’ dad ?” He screwed up his face.

“Only dad I ever knew”

-

Heather took Marley on a tour of the house . The outside did no justice . It was even bigger behind the doors . She toured the guest rooms, the chefs kitchen , their family rec room, their home gym and now Karen’s daughters room .

It almost brought tears to Marley’s eyes . It was everything she would have wanted as a young girl . The walls were covered in pink sparkly wall paper . She had a small white vanity filled with jewelry and makeup . In the center of the room was a huge gold canopy bed with white tulle draped over the top . A room fit for a princess . “Oh my god” Marley mouthed to herself .

“ If it’s worth anything” Karen started to speak , her skinny hand touching Marley back made her feel awkward. “I didn’t want to to go stay with your aunt”

Marley let go of a loud breath , almost like a cough. She didn’t expect this to be a topic . “That lady... is your friend” Her words cut through Karen

“I-.” She stuttered “I really didn’t want to send you . But it was out of my hands” Karen blamed her father.

“You have no idea , at all about what happened to me there” Marley turned to her quickly , her eyes were watering. Before she knew it , a tear fell down her cheek . She was pissed that she even gave Karen the satisfaction of seeing her upset . In her eyes, she was just as guilty as her father . Marley walked away , not exactly knowing where to go . She just wanted to be away from all of them .

-

“So how was it around here, when Marley lived with y’all?” Erik decided to dig, since Simon took to him quickly. He knew he could get the kid to talk .

“We didn’t live her , we moved here after she left”

“You were young , you probably don’t remember much , huh?” Erik kept going .

“Not as young as my sister . I remember her being really quiet . We stayed out of her way, dad told us too . Then one day she was gone . I thought she was dead until my dad needed a kidney”

Erik stopped himself from tossing the game controller . He didn’t want Simon to sense anger , in fear that he would stop spilling the beans. So he pretended not to be bothered . “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah ,they have the same blood type or something , that’s why they asked her here . To ask her”

Erik spotted Marley outside in the backyard . He excused himself from the game . He walked to the French doors and opened them . As he was about to tell her the real reason her father invited her, Erik noticed her face . She had been crying . He knew she shouldn’t have come . Before he could get a word in, Marley began to speak . Telling him about thought fake apology from Karen. And how she tried to blame everything on her father , like she didn’t play a key role in her outcome.

“Erik they have a pool , look at how these kids grew up . They aren’t even his kids” her voice cracked , Erik grew angrier by the minute .

“I slept in a basement , a fucking basement . Like, why didn’t everybody hate me? I was just a kid”

Erik saw her dad inside now . He told her to hold tight and get some air , he would be back for her .

Erik went inside and made sure to shut the door. He caught Christopher in the living room, mid sentence when talking to his son. “So you abandon your daughter , steal from her and then bring her here to save you, my nigga ?”

“Excuse me ?” Christopher glared at Erik, then back at Simon.

“You tryna’ Get her kidney right , that’s why she here?” Erik was jumpy , he slammed his closed fist into his open hand . He lunged toward Chris .

Simon paused his game and rushed to his room . Christopher would deal with him later .

“This ain’t got shit to do with you”

“Nah, Marley is my business”. He pointed to her sitting beside the pool , she didn’t have a clue about what was goin on between the two of them

“You may not care , but that’s what you missed out on . She’s special , she’s smart , she’s funny, and she matters to me . And everyday I see this fucking sadness in her and I couldn’t figure out why . But now I know it’s because of you . You fucked her up , but I’m here now, and I’m changing that”

Christopher stood up , he was taller than Erik but he had knocked down bigger and younger . Erik would kill him, without thinking or feeling remorse . He looked him dead in the eye, Christopher looked to the French doors and softened . Marley had come in.

“Don’t call her no’ more” he said in this tone, that only the two of them could understand .

“What’s going on?” She came towards the duo .

“Marley lets go” Erik didn’t shout but he didn’t have to. He couldn’t hit him, or beat his ass like he wanted to . He would have to tell Marley the reason and he wanted to spare her.

She didn’t argue, Erik was her man and meant more to her than anyone in that house . She grabbed her purse off the table and took his hand . They left , leaning the door open behind them. Erik drove off as soon as they fastened their seatbelts . Marley cried , she just sat in her seat and cried on the journey home . About twenty minutes in, Erik reached over and grabbed her chin. He leaned her over and kissed her a few times to calm her down . “Chill out, try to stop crying aight ?”

Marley took a deep breath and nodded her head . Erik decided that he would never tell her about the Kidney. That was something he’d take to the grave .

[xoexoxhoe]

On The Hill

A/N: This is LITERALLY one of the most interesting things i’ve ever read. My Co wrote this based off of her love for political angst/dramas, and honestly, it’s really good guys, TOTALLY WORTH THE READ. We hope you enjoy this little piece by Momo (@sailor-baek )

Characters: Park Seonghwa (ATEEZ) & Reader (Y/N), featuring another ATEEZ member! 

Theme: Political AU, angst, love affair, political drama 

Nothing comes easy when you work for the President of the United States. Especially when it involves Park Seonghwa. 

💥Warning: Angst💥

The processional march was colorful noise in your ears as you followed closely behind the big man. It got older every time you heard it, which was, quite regrettably, every first Friday of the month. Really, anything would be better than the obnoxious blaring of-what was it? An oboe? You had no idea but it sure didn’t sound like the Chopin Nocturne op.9 no.2 you had to turn on every night to sleep.

“You’re doing it again.”

You didn’t even remember getting on the floor, a communications intern behind the press caucus chuckled. Carrie Ann. George Washington University undergrad and poli-sci masters at the good ‘ole Harvard. You made a mental note to fire the little shit as soon as this thing was over. Your attention turned to the man, still waiting for a complete introduction at the podium.

“Doing what, sir?”

“That frown thing with your eyebrows. You’re gonna get wrinkles, Y/N. What was that cream thing you use? You better stock up before Big Pharma gets their hands on the patent or I’ll have to call you...what is that new movie with Oprah?”

“A Wrinkle In Time, sir.”

“Yes, that one! A wrinkle-”

“It’s a childrens movie; nothing to do with premature aging, sir.”

A little huff escaped his lips and a slight tug appeared on yours. The press secretary was clapping now signaling for your boss to give his address.

“I’m sure your daughter will be happy to watch it with you tonight. Mr. President, you’re up.”

“Ah yes, it appears so.”

You watched as he made his way up to the center; flurries of camera flashes turning the west wing corridor into a light show. This is the time when you would check out. His speech was solid, you had looked it over yourself the hour prior. Today, however, there was a particular bump in your paved smooth travel down the hill. A rather large bump, by the name of Park Seonghwa. He was standing to the right behind his Prime Minister with the cheekiest smile plastered across his face. Bilateral economic relations didn’t warrant this kind of happiness, it oozed off of him like fucking honey. You had heard your greenies gushing over him earlier that day. The hot speech writer from the embassy. Why was he even here? Stupid question, you knew it was because he was Prime Minister Cho’s nephew. Nepotism at its finest. You had to use that one later. It would definitely sting. When clapping resumed again you made your way to the podium to rally the cameras back into the hall.

“Coverage of the reception will be permitted. I’ll have the details sent over via secure line. Until then please wait in the briefing room for further instruction. Thank you, everyone.”

You turned the corner still trying to shake that stupid smile from your mind when Carrie Ann caught your eye at the coffee corner. Before you could stalk all the way over, someone called your name.

“Ms. Chief of Staff...sir?”

God, you had forgotten your interns had project due today. “One sec, hun.”

You pivoted straight into a paper cup of coffee. “You look like you wanted to, um, talk to me.”

“Carrie Ann, do I amuse you.” The cup was warm in your hand now; sickly sweet aromas filling your nose. A little sip of the searing liquid confirmed your suspicion, too much liquid sugar. The poor girl had gone white.

“More specifically, my face-does it...does it make you want to laugh in a room of every major news outlet in the Pacific?”

“No ma’am, I didn’t mean to-”

“But you did.” You took a longer sip and gave her one last canvas before turning back to the little crowd that had gathered. “This coffee is wonderful by the way. Just a little suggestion, though; go easy on sweetener. You’ll need to remember that when you start at the local Starbucks.” You relished the gasps all the way to your office. It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat that you remembered you weren’t alone.

“Shitty morning, my greenies. Tell me something that won’t make me want to throw you off of the east wing balcony.” A lazy finger point at the intern that had tapped your shoulder earlier opened a flood of updates.

“The KORUS coverage just hit air and it’s already trending on Twitter and Facebook.”

“Washington Governor Townsend has agreed to the state park expansion plans in Olympia; we should have the contractors’ bids on your desk no later than noon.”

“The writer guy is waiting in your blue room, ma’am. Said he has an appointment.”

Messy papers were strewn all over your desk; draft bills for POTUS to look over and countless testimony from the bane of your existence that was the municipal aide fund. You didn’t even look up. “I know plenty of writers, Joshua, you need to be more specific.”

“The hot one, ma’am. Tall, Korean, windswept hair look-”

“You need not go on, dear, this is the White House, not a middle school cafeteria. Send him in.”

The group trudged to the door. “Wait. I want all of you to finish up those Arbor Day submissions from the kindergartners. Pick a winner too.”

“The criteria, ma’am?”

“I don’t know, pick one that colored the trees unrealistic colors. I support impressionism and nothing says ‘Happy Tree Day! Thank you for the oxygen!’ more than a purple ficus.”

“Got it, ma’am, purple ficus.” You shoo-ed them off with the hope that the president would get a chuckle from handing a five-year-old artist a certificate for a periwinkle disaster on national television.

“That girl from earlier. I passed her crying on the way here; such a harsh way to be let go.”

You scoffed, “I might just call secret service to drag her out. Why are you here, Mr. Park? You didn’t have an appointment.”

Seonghwa sauntered to your desk, unbuttoning his suit jacket while easing onto the varnished oak and cocking his head to the side, “Hm…” he grabbed the bow cascading down your blouse, rolling the silk in his fingers, “I never imagined something so frilly on someone so…”

“So what?”

He glared down at you, dropping the bow and retracting his fingers, grabbing the pocket square out of his suit, “So… disdainful.”

You smiled unevenly, “Sometimes I wonder where you learn words like this, but then I remember you went to college here and I can’t one up you with pretentious vocabulary.”

A smile spread across his face, “Do you want it in Korean? 경멸적인.”

“Why should I respect you, Seonghwa? I’m the White House Chief of Staff; not the eager college girl that gets you a cream cheese bagel in the morning.”

The way he got under your skin was criminal. Bad enough that he still hadn’t answered your initial question. What was the question? You were getting too old for this. “Your speech on NATO was cute; Prime Minister Cho did well for the press.”

“Did you like it?”

“Oh, I did. In fact I have a particular word in mind to describe it.”

“What would that be?”

“쓰레기.”

“Ah! She knows Korean now; such a dynamic personality.” His index finger tapped against his palm, “First off, we have a condescending Chief of Staff, who, with no mercy or remorse, loves to fire her perky college interns. Second, she must be achingly smart because she dragged my Korean speech-”

“I’ll stop you right there. Perky? Not exactly the word I’d use to-”

Seonghwa stood, readjusting his suit, “Let me finish, Y/N. Finally, for someone so beautiful, you sure do have a terrible temper.”

“You came here to be an asshole; is that it?”

“Takes one to know one, ma’am.”

“You’re the one that called it a dynamic personality.”

He paused, clasping his hands together, “I simply came to ask if I’d be seeing you at the party tonight.”

“To gawk at your latest arm candy? Don’t count on it.”

◎

The Secretary of Commerce had always rubbed you the wrong way. From the beginning of the appointment, green shadows in his hollow eyes had made his motive clear. Sure, the trade renewal was beneficial to everyone. It was especially so to one certain senior official that had poured half the budget into the Korean subsidiary of a Chinese chemical manufacturer. You weren’t a god, neither was the president. The things that were sacrificed in the name of universal well being wouldn’t keep you up at night. Besides, the geezer talking your ear off had to pay for his estate in Great Barrington somehow. You felt a hand slip around your waist.

“It was a pleasure, Mr. Secretary. Congratulations on the agreement.”

Pulled away without much more than a nod in his direction you turned your attention to your companion. “How did you know I was dying of boredom?”

“Y/N, dear, you wear your heart on your sleeve. It couldn’t have been more obvious if you had screamed ‘insolent plutocrat’ in his face.”  

You gravitated towards the bar and took the cucumber vodka Yunho held out. He was every bit the man your parents had expected; fitting the description a 9 year old you had mapped out and stuck to the fridge. Doctor Jeong Yunho; Chief of surgery at Georgetown, specializing in neurology. How else could you describe Yunho but simply strapping. Heels didn’t challenge his height. His goofy smile never faltered and his bright eyes followed you like a puppy. Walking into any function with him felt like a cold drink laced with ecstasy; only mildly dangerous and the biggest ego booster. He made you feel powerful.   

You leaned in to begin a whisper into his ear.

“My my my, what do we have here?” If Yunho was ecstasy, Seonghwa was the dirtiest mephedrone on the black market. That hand found your waist again. The woody scent on Yunho’s lapel invaded your senses. There came a time every woman had to face the music; you hadn’t wanted it to be tonight.

“Mr. Park, I don’t believe you’ve met my fiancé.”

“Park Seonghwa, right? I’m Yunho, nice to meet you, man.”

The newest patron took his hand, giving it a firm shake. “Likewise, Doctor. I assume congratulations are in order.” You cast a sidewards glance to Yunho who was playing idly with the silver band on his finger. The whole ordeal was suffocating.

“So when’s the big day?” Seonghwa’s eyes were on you now, still full of the morning’s mischief.

“End of June; we’ll make sure to send you an invitation.” You scooted a little closer to Yunho, letting his guarding presence hold you upright. A shrill beep sounded from his breast pocket; one that you had heard many times. He cleared his throat a little and reached for the pager. Duty always called. It didn’t matter even if you had just helped to divert a nuclear crisis. If someone had their head cracked open on an operating table, Dr. Jeong would be there to patch them up. You took a long swig of the sweating cocktail and set it down.

“You should go, honey. It sounds urgent.”

He offered you a sheepish smile. Seonghwa just turned to face the bar, sloshing a drink in his hand.

“Multiple trauma crash on the 95. Baby, I’m sorry.” Yunho lightly grabbed out your hands that re-did the buttons of his suit.

“I of all people know that work is work. Don’t sweat it kid. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

“You’re not coming home?”He met your lips in a chaste kiss.

“I fly to Mumbai first thing in the morning and I still have lots of stuff to do before then.”

Yunho just nodded with understanding and bent down to peck your cheek one last time. “Text me when you land.”

“Will do. Drive safe.” When he was far you heard a snicker come from the side. Rolling your eyes you motioned the bartender over for a refill. It was Bruno tonight. Thank god. He always kept the good stuff on the side for you.

“Work is work, huh?”

“Precisely.”

The brooding man eased towards you slightly, still looking forward. “Are you working me?”

“For what reason would I do that? I have nothing to gain.”

He downed his dark liquid. “We both know that isn’t true.” and with that, he was gone into the crowd of tipsy politicians. Dim chandeliers and the gaudy presentation was suddenly becoming too much. With swift steps you made your way to the president’s table, a pleasant smile plastered on your face.

“Sir, I’m going to head out for the night; lots to do for tomorrow.”

“Of course, Y/N! Send my regards to Yunho on his surgeries. I saw that he left earlier.”

It was that obvious, huh? “I will. Thank you, Mr. President. Congratulations again on the agreement.” With a quick side hug to the misses and last goodbyes, you walked to the back entrance. Your night detail was waiting at the door, purse and coat in hand.

“Evening, ma’am.” You took your purse and got into the car.

“Hello, boys. I’m so ready to sleep.”

“Home, ma’am?”

“Not tonight, Sarge.”

“Of course.”

The ride to the Regis was short. Without much thought you were in your suite; draped in silk and nursing a vintage malt the adorable concierge had given you. And you had tried so hard to not come off as an alcoholic. How disappointing. The door clicked open but you didn’t pay it any attention as you were still enthralled by the itinerary in front of you. A hand pulled the pin out of your makeshift bun sending hair cascading over your shoulders.

“You work too hard, Y/N.”

“I am my work. It runs my life” The humming in your ear made a familiar heat rush to your chest. It flared out down your arms in little tingles.

“This here isn’t work. I think this is something you’re doing all for yourself.”

You reached behind you, bringing lips hard against your own. There was a little cut on the bottom one from a consistent bite the owner was likely not aware of. Sucking on the spot elicited the deepest moan you’d ever heard. Music on par with Nocturne op.9.

“Add selfishness to the qualities of my dynamic personality.”

You turned around in your seat and found a firm grip on your ass pulling you flush against a rattling chest. “He seems like a great guy.”

“Don’t talk about him, Seonghwa.” Stepping off the chair you pushed him towards the bed. He fell onto the plush surface without a sound of protest.

“You definitely have a type. The press would have a field day.”

Settling over the cocky speech writer that had been tugging on the edges of your mind all day was satisfying to say the least. You fit there perfectly; taking everything that was Park Seonghwa in until it made you dizzy. Though not as dizzy as he became when you abused his neck with abandon. You always adored his icy veins threatening to pop in restraint. His hands fumbled at your hip, willing you to move against him. He was too busy getting off to shameless moans of his name in his ear to feel your knee press down hard on his clothed dick.

“If anything gets out to the media, prepare to have this handed over to your uncle on a silver fucking platter.” His breath hitched and you swore the bulge in his pants only grew. You replaced the knee with your hand and used the other to rip open his now wrinkled button down. Your favorite surface. Not as broad as Yunho, but Seonghwa would say the filthiest things to get you to paint trails down his chest until he couldn’t breathe. That’s the difference between your choice of drugs. The most dangerous ones were the most addictive. So when he captured your mouth again, a fresh whimper on his lips, you had no intention of backing up the threat. Seonghwa. Seonghwa. Seonghwa. Pure honey to taste.   

“Please, just fucking ruin me, Y/N.”

“I serve at the pleasure.”  

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

You guys, I came across a post that had me feeling some kind of way, and I guess I just gotta babble. You see, it’s an art, and a really nice one at that. It’s also, by the artist’s own admission, largely inspired by something I did. 

 You see, I have a long history with this whole Writing thing. I’ve been doing stories since I could write. I won all kinds of creative writing awards as a kid, got invited to every creative writing event my school was associated with (all two of them), met plenty of published and well-known, amazing authors. So naturally, being a complete loser obsessed with my favourite shows and series, I fell into fanfiction fairly young. 

 I’m not even kidding when I say this. The highlight of my highschool experience was the time I passed a pretty huge IT assessment with flying colours, topping the class, by writing what was ostensibly a H.arry P.otter fanfiction. My whole existence is a literal joke. I pretty much wrote either what I needed to for class, or what my friends wanted me to, and that was okay. In fact, it was a friend who got me into roleplaying at about that time. 

 When I got out of a particularly toxic rp group, I felt really lost, and naturally gravitated back towards the fanfic scene, which I had been isolated from at that point. Fanfiction was how I spent my early online life, and it’s where I spent some of the happiest times of my online life. I created a really great bubble where I did fic requests, along with whatever the heck I felt like. As a result, my whole fanfiction history is a hecking mess. 

 And you know what? It worked out really well. Lots of amazing things happened. I’ve had arts drawn for me, cosplayers read out my work at a con, I’ve been on multiple rec/favourite authors lists, and I’ve had two of my biggest stories turned into audiodramas with voice acting and everything. And that’s not even going into the wonderful things that have happened since I rejoined the RPC with Ko.

 But the thing is, for all the incredible experiences I’ve had due to writing, I’ve never really...tried? Or at least, tried as hard as I could have. And I’m really not trying to brag, I mean this to my detriment. There’s so much in even my most popular work I’d never repeat. So many mistakes. So many inconsistencies, bad wording, stupid ideas, primitive tropes, things I’d never repeat. Much of it was the product of youth and inexperience, but a lot of it was also just a lack of care. I didn’t write to tell good stories, necessarily. Especially not during what I consider the golden age of my FFN account. I wrote what made me happy to do, what made my bubble of readers happy, and whatever helped me work through my own ideas. 

 The thing about the art I came across is that it was half-inspired by one of my most popular fics, one I worked especially hard on. Definitely one of my better known ones. And OP gushed in the tag about it, and I found the login to an old email with a bunch of Ao3 comments of people calling some of my fics their go-tos, and the discord for the audiobooks has people discussing their own portrayals of my stories, and I guess I’m just kinda feeling like...maybe I ought to? You know? Maybe I should take my ‘work’ more seriously. I try not to be to hard on myself because I struggle to look at anything I make with pride as it is, I don’t want to drain the fun from something that’s always been an escape. There’s just a strange sort of mix of excitement and responsibility that comes with all this, and if I could liken it to anything, it’d be that feeling where you realise your characterisation has literally changed how your closest rp partners experience canon, and it’s so flattering and awesome, but also kind of scary because you sincerely want that experience to have been changed for the better and not the worst. 

 I don’t know, friends, I don’t really have a point. Any time I, in whole or part, inspire somebody to create -- whether it’s serious art or total crack -- or broaden the way they enjoy something that already exists, it’s a very precious thing. If I knew what the eff I was doing, I could use the opportunity well, even if the pool of people I reach is tiny in the grand scope of thing. I’m not trying to deny that. I guess it’s just hecking Wild to me that I’m a person who Exists, whose actions have consequences outside of my world, and that people think about me independently of situations I’m directly involved in. Sometimes I feel like there’s more I ought to be doing with that, but tbh, waking up in the morning is exhausting enough, who has the brain power for this. 

[red-sterling]

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow. 

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating 

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other - 

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so 

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy?? 

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like 

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers 

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix 

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her?? 

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

[ktspree13]

I wrote this thing and.......

I wrote it on Discord.  I really feel like I should share some of these with you all because you seem to like my writing, so...  :)  Without further ado...  (also, @hjbender, I hope your weekend continues to get better and better.  <3)

This came about because of this post here, and the last comment on there about the OP (a professor) talking about alpha and omega for class purposes and a student laughing about it.  They both realized they each knew why the student was laughing (spoiler: because they both knew about a/b/o).  So, I present to you, my Thor professor, Loki student AU!  :P Consider: professor Thor, student Loki... Greek studies prof. Thor, Loki laughing during his lecture, then immediately realizing they both knew what he was laughing about and Loki's red faced and silent the rest of class. You know Loki knows what a/b/o is and you KNOW he'd laugh at Thor about it. But when he realizes Thor's in on the 'joke?'  Heh...

A/B/O started off as a one-off for Loki.  He saw something about it and got curious.  Now he has a whole folder full of the stuff he likes and has some extremely bizarre wank sessions about it. He eventually does some digging and realizes Thor has written some of his favorite fics. Now he can barely pay attention in class let alone look Thor in the eye. He gets hard just listening to Thor read Greek. Thor tried to forget all about it, but eventually gets curious and does his own research.  Loki has been one of his most vocal reviewers.  He could tell from his reviews he was a pretentious little shit and now he knows he was absolutely right about that.  And he fucking loves it, now. He calls on Loki more often than other students in the class, asking him for pronunciation on words. Thor eventually realizes it's negatively affecting Loki, though, and cuts him a break.  He sent an email like, I know who you are, and I know you know who I am.  Look, just do some extra credit here and show me you're actually picking up on this stuff and your grade will be OK. He offers this to anyone in the class, by the way, but Loki's never able to pay attention enough to absorb it. Loki goes to Thor's office hours, showing him just how much he's picked up the material.  He had to stay up all night to be able to prove his proficiency, but it was worth it to see the look on Thor's face. Thor has open office hours for two hours, and he's hard the entire time Loki is smugly showing off.  Some of his pronunciation is off, and he wants to rub it in his entitled little face, but he's too turned on to say anything. Thor's revenge for his office hours is letting Loki pronounce things wrong in class and watching him get feedback from his classmates. Then he goes over some new stuff and watches Loki be flustered for the rest of the hour. Loki's revenge is pornographic a/b/o chalk drawings on the board.  Amazing art. But Thor has no idea it's there until he pulls up the screen or map that had been covering it. And now he's torn between erasing the amazing art and taking a photo for himself. "Look guys, this is a thoughtful depiction of Greek words."  *stealthily pulls out his phone*  "And whoever did this is a talented artist..."  *snap*  "But pornography isn't always appreciated by the masses, so I would recommend not forcing your classmates to look at it."  *takes another two photos for good measure while the rest of the class wonders what the fuck is going on* Then he erases it really slowly, and Loki can tell he's upset he has to get rid of it.  He literally took twenty minutes to doodle them all up on the board.  And he starts to melt a little. He draws art for Thor's a/b/o fics and sends them to him on the mutual social media site they use. They start having conversations online, even though Thor knows he shouldn't encourage a student like that. Loki asks him about why he wanted to be a professor and what made him want to teach Ancient Greek, a dead language.  Thor asks him all about his art and what he wants out of his time at the university. *** A year later, Loki’s no longer his student and he pursues Thor, hard.  It had been difficult to pass Thor’s class with a good enough grade, but now that it’s over with, he’s not gonna let Thor off the hook one bit. He gifts him magnet sized paintings with their favorite a/b/o scenes on them.  Inappropriate baked goods.  Thor’s had very unique sex toys left in his office mailbox.  His colleagues are wondering if he’s getting pranked, but Thor knows the truth.  He also knows one of those sex toys is a replica of Loki’s dick.  And he just can’t help himself some nights…… Loki, for his part, only has Thor’s fics to keep him company, but they’ve started starring a new heroine with midnight hair and piercing green eyes.  Loki still knows it’s him.   He’s never told anyone his feelings on his own gender, but it’s like Thor knows even his most private thoughts anymore. Things change when lingerie starts showing up at Thor’s home address with Polaroid snaps of a person wearing the garments he’s now holding.  Their face is hidden, but Thor knows it’s Loki. Loki gets one email.  It takes him an hour before he knows it says “for you hold all my love” in Thor’s love language.  It also contains a time and a place to meet. Thor gets a giant painted canvas in response. It takes up his entire doorway at his office, and it’s very explicit.  Thor’s red faced the whole day and almost calls off their meeting. *** Five years later, they’re living in New Orleans.  Thor has a great job at Tulane, and Loki is the talk of the local artist community.  They’re married and have super kinky sex all the time with special dildos and stuff that squirts and things that will even bulge their bellies out if they like.  Loki has blossomed into her own, Thor still writes amazing A/B/O fics and is a total linguistics nerd, and they’re looking to adopt.

[aced0g]

Be Your Worst Self

I was tagged by @loveydoveypiperwright​ , so thank you! I’m sorry I haven’t done a tagging game in a while but I’m getting there :DD

Rules: Take this quiz for your character(s) and post the results!

I’m gonna tag @fallout-and-dragon-age​ & @ace-amatus​ but thats only if y'all want too. Have fun if you do!

So for my ocs its going to just be easier to go by the personality type rather than list each oc out individually cause there would be a lot of overlap, that being said, here we go~

You Are an Emotionally Volatile Nightmare:

Your heart guides you and sometimes that’s not as dreamy or romantic as it might sound. It’s true that your feelings often inspire you to heal and create, and as long as those feelings don’t steer you wrong, you’re capable of truly visionary accomplishments in the name of empathy and love. Feelings, though, aren’t always gentle and sweet. You know that better than anyone because your own emotions -the same overwhelming forces that inspire you to make the world a better place - can take you to very dark places, especially if you believe that the subject of your ire has shown unwarranted cruelty toward you or something you hold dear. You know that your feelings aren’t necessarily rational, but that doesn’t stop you from dramatically blaming other people for causing you pain. Of course, you might not even stop at crying; that notoriously brilliant creativity might even spur you to express your wrath artistically - nothing says “emotional stability” like a morose, vengeful poem.

-Evander Virani: Does it match up? Yeah I’d say so. He’s experienced a lot of trauma and while most of the time he pushes his emotions down or tries to act like a positive “everything’s going to be okay!” person he’s about one bad thing away from having a breakdown. When he’s truly happy its one of the few times he can just forget about his problems and enjoy the moment. Most of the time he’s in this in between stage of pure terror and extreme sadness. It makes him appear like he has a level head. When he’s angry though it tends to lash out as a literal burning rage. He loses control of his magic and sort of engulfs his arms in flame and takes his ire out on whoever pissed him off (he hates being angry because it scares him. He doesn’t like losing control). His creative outlet is forging knives and swords. He does want to heal though, he’s tired of being the cause of destruction. He wants to help and heal, not only others but also himself.

-Aspen Lavellan: Does it match up? Kinda? I wouldn’t call him volatile. Aspen’s got a pretty level head on his shoulders. He has learned how to act diplomatic. When he is presenting himself as Inquisitor to the public imagine a Raymond Holt type of personality. When he’s with friends though he likes to pull pranks and just have a good time. He doesn’t want to be serious all the time because it makes the situation feel bleak. He wants there to be positivity in his life. Though, I would say that when he is truly angry it’s a type of silent wrath that’s terrifying. You can see the burning hatred in his eyes and he has the skill to hit his target with three arrows before they even know whats going on. When he’s truly angry he will keep fighting until he’s completed his goal or he dies trying. He does carve dalish patterns into his bow so that could be considered creative? Aspen is a protector. He wants to help others, keep them safe and that could translate into healing. He does what needs to be done to keep people safe, and sometimes that means making the hard decisions that others can’t.

-Arthur Cousland: Does it match up? Yeah. Arthur’s usually able to stay in a good mood. He’s an optimist and doesn’t like to bring people down. He’s gentle and wants to help heal and create. It’s why he enjoys playing his lute and singing. Songs can inspire people, or at the very least cheer them up. He may be a noble but what he does with that sort of money and power is give it away to others. He gives his coin to those on the street who need food, or he’s been known to give his blanket away as well saying he’ll just buy another when they reach the next town. He’s got a big heart and he wears it on his sleeve. The only way he can hide when he’s sad is if it’s raining so that the rain can hide his tears, or if he goes off on his own for a little while (he hates burdening others with his problems and often leaves for an hour or two to just climb a tree and have a good cry, though Alistair catches on and works with Arthur to realize its okay to let others help him when he is sad). When he’s angry it’s hard to think logically. He listens to his heart and when he feels betrayed or that someone is going to bring harm to his friends or the people he’s protecting he will fight tooth and nail to protect them and kill whoever is provoking them.

You are a Narcissistic Monster: 

You’re the best - right? Wherever you go, the spotlight finds you, and you’re hardly complaining. you can’t imagine your friends care, since, after all, you’re so generous. Well, that’s what you like to think about yourself. You’re generous, enthusiastic, and fun, so if you compulsively steal the spotlight, it doesn’t really matter. If you fuel drama just to feed your thirst for a dramatic life, is it really that bad? Is it really so wrong for you to be the center of attention? Does it really matter how other people feel about it in the long run? Of course, you’d never say no. You’re the generous friend, and you’d never hurt anyone on purpose just to keep all eyes on you... right? Every now and then, you imagine your funeral and how all of your friends will go on and on about how wonderful, magnetic, charming, and generous you were. 

-Sorian Surana: Does it match up? No, not really. He’s cocky, headstrong, and a bit of an asshole sometimes but I wouldn’t call him narcissistic. He’s proud of himself, and yeah he’s proud of himself and takes pride in his looks but not because that’s all he cares about. Sorian is a trans-man elf mage who was mistreated in the circle and then joined up with the wardens and transitioned. He went from thinking he would have no future to being one of the legendary Grey Wardens, and then he actually looks the way he’s always wanted to! So of course he’s going to seem a little vain or narcissistic sometimes, but it’s only because he never thought he’d make it this far. And, if he’s being honest, he fucking hates the spotlight. He’d much rather be just one of the Wardens instead of The Hero of Ferelden, Arl of Amaranthine, and all those other titles. He’ll be in the spotlight, but it doesn’t mean he enjoys it. Besides, he should be allowed a little bit of cockiness (mages in The Awakening DLC are so OP by the end of it, literally Sorian knows so many spells and can conjure the dead turn into a bear, wield a great ax while shooting fire storms at people, and at the same time have a constant aura of changing elemental magic that deals damage to his enemies.)

You are Shockingly Violent:

There’s no getting around this: you desperately need to attend anger management. You’re just as headstrong and opinionated, and your energy and enthusiasm can turn into explosive violence at the drop of a hat. You’re a walking time bomb of seething rage, and the more you try to hide it, the more it escapes in unpredictable, volatile mood swings. Do yourself a favor and invest in a stress ball or gym membership before you do something you really regret

-Kyra Lavellan: Does it fit? Yeah. She chose the Reaver specialization for a reason. Kyra is a very energetic and enthusiastic person. She does what she feels is right and gets upset when people don’t see that she’s doing the right thing even if it might not morally line up with their beliefs. As a kid she’d often get into fights with the other kids of her clan and was always sporting some sort of bandage because of it. She has a better control on her outbursts as an adult, but she still lashes out especially when she’s in pain or very annoyed. Her anger is great in battle though. She fights with the ferocity of a dragon and won’t admit it out loud but she does enjoy having the power to physically shred her enemies with her hands. Before she knew how to control the reaver power she would keep attacking, sacrificing her own health to get the job done and make sure the others were safe. Once she learned how to keep conscious and keep fighting things went a lot smoother. 

-Alrik Hawke: Does it fit? Kinda? Hawke’s in denial really. He wants to protect people and make them happy, it’s why he chose to be a spirit healer, why he’s always cracking jokes and trying to get others to smile. He does have a lot of anger though. It’s just under the surface, though its quite hard to really bring out. See Alrik is a werewolf and his anger is tied very closely to the wolf, so for him getting angry isn’t just an outburst of words it means he could lose control and shift. He doesn’t want that. He keeps a tight lid on his anger and it only really comes out in moments of extreme stress, like the deep roads or when slaver’s are trying to recapture his best friend, or when people keep calling Merril a monster, or when Templars get too close to Anders. Okay so maybe he does have a lot of anger. Like I said he’s in denial. 

You are a Two-Faced Liar:

Your friends know you talk behind their backs. Not that you’re a bad person - you just can’t help letting other people know how you really feel about some of the crazy stuff your loved ones have told you. Unfortunately, you’ve talked and talked and talked, and now, they all know you’ll talk if they confide in you. You know it, too, and you still can’t help it. No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t force yourself to be as loyal or honest as you want to be. At least you’re charming enough to keep making new friends and replacing the ones who felt too hurt or betrayed to trust you again.

-Zachariah Hawke: Does it fit? Yes and no. Zach has a big heart, but as a rogue he knows sometimes it’s better to lie and be dishonest. I think this would have been more of a problem back in Lothering, unable to keep friends because he keeps telling his parents about them and over sharing, not out of malice but because he gets so excited that he just needed to tell them. I think over time he would become the one with no friends and as an adult he knows how to keep his mouth shut. The only person he really overshares with now is Varric, and later Fenris when they’re in their relationship together. Zach isn’t trying to hurt anyone by talking about them he just... can’t keep all of their problems locked up with his because it’s too much. Zach’s the type of guy that smiles to hide what he’s going through and he wants to help his friends so much, but to keep it all inside would cause him to fall apart. 

[artificialqueens]

So Emotional (Sashea) Chapter 2 -MissChimKi

A/N: Really regretting not naming this fic “And they were roommates” but oh well life goes on. Enjoy chapter 2!

Summary:

Chatting with Sasha was so easy. Of course Shea had always been the outgoing type but she was still a little surprised at how well she was getting along with Sasha. It just felt right. She could tell that they would actually become friends and not just roommates.

In Which Sasha and Shea are roommates for their freshman year of college. Sasha is a useless lesbian and doesn’t want Shea to know it. Meanwhile Shea is trying to live her best Chicago life while being in NYC.

Waking up in a new place was always a strange feeling. Shea knew she would get used to it pretty quickly but she couldn’t shake the feeling of new beginnings as she woke up. This was her first time being away from home. She had lived in Chicago her whole life and she loved it with her entire heart, but coming to New York for school just felt right.

She already had a little group of friends here that had come the year before. While they weren’t the most close in Chicago, she could tell from their excitement when she announced that she would be coming that their friendship would be able to grow and evolve. It was nice knowing that she wouldn’t be completely alone to start out.

Her roommate seemed nice. After their initial awkward run in, literally, they had had a nice conversation while moving in. There was something intriguing about Sasha. While she was friendly she was still closed off and Shea wanted to get to know her.

Shea looked around her new room. Sasha was nowhere to be found, her bed was made and Shea hadn’t even heard her leave. She assumed that she had just gone to shower and get ready for the day. Shea had showered the travel off of her the night before so she just quickly changed and started on her makeup. She didn’t want to do a full face but she wanted to touch up a little bit so she just fixed her brows and added some mascara and gloss.

Sasha came in just a she was finishing up. She set her clothes down before sitting at her desk. “Hey girl,” Shea greeted her with a smile.

Sasha returned her smile, “Hey, sorry if I woke you up this morning I was trying to be quiet.”

“You didn’t wake me up at all, I was sound asleep. If the fire alarm ever goes off at night you’re gonna have to drag me out because I’m such a heavy sleeper,” she informed her.

“Can’t wait for that night, I could barely lift some of my clothes boxes so I think you’re just going to have to hope it’s a drill,” Sasha teased.

Shea giggled, “I’ll keep that in mind then, I’ll add it to our roommate agreement that you’re responsible for me in the event of a fire,” she joked. Their RA Alyssa had come in the night before to give them their dorm checklist and tell them they needed to make a roommate agreement. That part was pretty standard however Alyssa was anything but. She was an eccentric person that seemed to have more red bull than blood running through her body.

“Alright alright, let me get up in this gig,” Sasha mocked how Alyssa had come into their room the night before, “I feel bad because she seems nice but she’s a little much.”

“A little?” Shea raised a brow, “At least I won’t feel bad about getting in trouble because I bet she’s done it all already.”

Sasha nodded, “True.”

Shea checked the time of her phone seeing that it was almost ten. “Do you wanna go grab brunch at one of the dining halls then walk around a little before the activity fair thingie?” Shea asked her.

Sasha nodded, “Yeah sounds good. I’m pretty hungry.” Sasha quickly put on some red lipstick. The rest of her face was bare. Typically Shea would find this odd but it really worked for Sasha for some reason.

“That shade looks so good on you,” Shea complimented her while grabbing her purse and room key.

“Thanks,” Sasha gave her a small smile a light blush appearing on her cheeks.

They made their way to the dining hall in a comfortable silence. They had decided to go to the one that was closer to their dorm figuring they would have time to check out the other side of campus later.

They went their separate ways to get food Sasha opting to get an omelet while Shea went towards the pancake bar. They had blueberry pancakes which sounded great. Shea waited in line for the fresh pancakes to be put out. She struck up a conversation with the pretty blonde in front of her named Tatiana. “Those boots are everything girl,” she complimented.

“Thank you,” Tatiana smiled at her. She was nice enough. Shea found out she was in her third year. “You can come sit with my friend Juju and me if you want.”

“Thanks girl, but I’m here with my roommate that I just met so I should probably get to know her,” Shea declined.

Tatiana shrugged, “Okay well hopefully I’ll see you around,” she smiled before walking off to her friend with her plate piled high with pancakes.

She did the same once she had doused them in syrup. She walked over to the table where Sasha was already sitting. “Ooh that looks good, what all did you get in it?” she asked while sliding into the seat across from Sasha.

“Basically everything, I couldn’t actually decide what I wanted. It turned out pretty good though so I’m not too mad. Want to try a bite?” she pushed the plate towards Shea who happily nodded and took a piece.

“That’s so good, this college food is going to be the death of me I swear. It’s gonna be more of a freshman fifty,” she joked, “here try some pancakes,” she offered to Sasha.

Sasha smiled before taking a bite, “Damn now I feel like I made the wrong choice.”

Shea nodded in agreement. They finished their food chatting more about school and what they were most excited for. Shea had no idea how Sasha was going to balance all of her classes. The girl was doing a double major and even planning a minor, which according to her advisor should be totally doable given the amount of college credits she’d managed to get in high school.

She shook her head, “No offense girl but you’re crazy. I don’t know how you’ll have time to breathe or enjoy things besides school.”

Sasha shrugged, “I’ll be fine, it’ll just be a delicate balance.”

“I guess so,” Shea shrugged finishing her orange juice, “too bad these aren’t mimosas,” she lamented.

Sasha laughed, “We’ll have to start smuggling in champagne,” she suggested.

Shea clapped her hands together in excitement, “Yes girl I love the way you think.” Chatting with Sasha was so easy. Of course she had always been the outgoing type but she was still a little surprised at how well she was getting along with Sasha. It just felt right, she could tell that they would actually become friends and not just roommates.

It was a bit after eleven so Sasha suggested they walk around a bit before the fair started at noon. They put their plates on the conveyer and left the dining hall.

Campus at Charles University was stunning. It was still surrounded by city, but campus seemed like its own little bubble. Shea felt at ease walking around even if she had yet to learn her way to everywhere she needed to go. They still had a week before classes actually started so she had time to figure it out.

She and Sasha made their way to the center of campus where the fair was happening slowly. Taking time to check out all the scenery and buildings along the way. “There are some great photo ops here, we’ll have to come prepared sometime and do a basic roomie photoshoot,” Shea suggested.

Sasha nodded eagerly, “That would be so cute we have to now.”

“Our instas are going to be lit,” They had followed each other the night before. Sasha’s page being very unique and artistic with a lot of gorgeous photography and unfinished art projects that still managed to resonate with her. It was very neutral compared to her own bright and loud page showing off a lot of her fashion and mainly pictures of herself. She felt like Sasha’s insta was a little window into her, but it obviously didn’t show everything. Shea was intrigued by it nonetheless.

“Please, yours is already great you’re honestly a model,” Sasha nudged her.

“Whatever girl you’re a brilliant artist and photographer so I think we’ll make an awesome team and have a bomb ass photo spread,” Shea complimented her back, noticing Sasha blush a little which she found endearing. Shea was always a complimentary person, so by end of the year she knew Sasha would be sick of it but she hoped she would be able to help her take compliments better.

They reached the main pavilion of the campus where the fair was set up. It was already in full swing by the time they got there complete with a bouncy obstacle course which Shea had to laugh at. “There’s no way that one of these college idiots isn’t gonna break that.”

“I’m shocked it hasn’t already been broken,” Sasha remarked.

They made their way through the crowd of students to where the line of tables started. They ranged from businesses and restaurants surrounding the campus to organizations and clubs at the campus. They managed to snag lots of coupons and freebees.

They were on the outskirts of the fair eating some free ice cream and debating on whether or not they needed to prove themselves on the obstacle course when Shea heard someone call her name. She turned to see Max, silver hair perfectly straight against her black bralette top.

“Hey girl it’s crazy seeing you here,” Shea went in for a hug. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Max was going to Charles as well but it didn’t really register. She and Max had never really spoken all that much. Max was kind of a part of their little squad but never fully. She hung out with them on occasion but she never seemed to fit in completely. Shea felt a little bad so she always tried to be friendly and include her in their outings when she was around.

“Yeah I know, it’s so crowded I’m surprised I ran into you,” Max told her.

“Oh this is my roommate Sasha. Sasha this is Max, she’s a friend from back in Chicago,” Shea introduced them.

“Nice to meet you,” Max smiled at Sasha before turning her attention back to Shea, “Have you seen any of the other girls yet?”

Shea shook her head, “No, I was going to try and meet up with them later if they’re not busy. They know I’m here but I was too tired to do anything yesterday.”

“That’s understandable,” Max nodded, “I met up with Pearl for breakfast today, did you know she has a girlfriend now,” Max said, hardly concealing her feelings.

“No I hadn’t heard. That’s good for her though.” Shea didn’t really want to choose sides, especially given that she was probably closest with Pearl. Everyone knew that Max had been in love with Pearl from the moment she laid eyes on her. Pearl had to know too she was just too polite to say anything about it.

“Yeah I guess,” Max shrugged.

“I’m looking forward to the gang being together again, it’s been far too long,” Shea tried to turn the conversation back to positive again.

Max smiled, “Yeah we should definitely try to get together tonight. I’ll text the group. I have to get back to my roommates now but it was nice to see you and nice to meet you,” she waved goodbye before walking off to a group of girls that were standing nearby.

“She’s very, tall,” Sasha commented.

Shea laughed, “Yeah that’s a nice way to put it.”

“How is it that you just moved here and you already have a squad?” Sasha questioned.

“We all did theater together back in Chicago. Most of them are a year above Max and I, we all decided to come here for our own reasons but it just worked out that we can continue to be a little group,” she explained, “I was never really that tight with any of them, I had my own group back in Chicago, but they seem to have formed a tighter bond since being here and it’ll be nice to have some familiarity while I’m new here.”

Sasha nodded, “makes sense,” she threw her ice cream cup away. “So you wanna go dominate this obstacle course?”

“Definitely,” Shea grinned, “As long as we can be the assholes that break it.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if it was you with those demon nails,” Sasha teased.

“Bitch,” Shea laughed, “I mean you’re probably right but still.”

Sasha rolled her eyes, smile still on her face while they walked to the course. They ended up beating two cocky frat boys through the art of distraction and diligence and sobriety probably.

“We the dream team,” Shea said after Sasha gave her a double high five and returned her hug at the end of the race. Shea really felt herself forming a friendship with Sasha. She hoped they would continue to get along as time went on.

They decided to walk back to their room after the race was over, they’d seen as much of the fair as they needed to see, Shea grabbed basically every pamphlet for clubs hoping it would be an easy way to make friends, whereas Sasha only grabbed a few that caught her eye. Shea hoped she could convince Sasha to go to a meeting of some sort in the upcoming week just so she wouldn’t have to be completely alone.

Once they reached the room again they both flopped on their beds. “That was fun, I’m glad we went,” Shea said. Sasha hummed in agreement. Shea pulled her phone out and saw that she had some messages from the group text about meeting up somewhere that night. It was no surprise that they couldn’t seem to agree on anything. Shea shook her head and set her phone back down. Somethings never changed.

After a while of sitting and browsing their phones occasionally showing each other memes or cool pictures that they found Sasha sat up. “I think I’m gonna go check out the gym and try to be productive. Any desire to come with?” she offered.

Shea thought on it, “I probably should but I think I’m gonna end up meeting with the girls soon anyways.”

“Suit yourself,” Sasha said before going over to her drawers to find her gym clothes.

“Would you mind if they came over here? I think they want to see my room,” Shea asked.

“No I don’t mind,” Sasha said while putting a t shirt over her sports bra. Shea had to acknowledge that Sasha had a great body. A little on the skinny side but she was still toned in the right places. Shea would typically comment on this but she didn’t want to creep Sasha out this early on. She was used to platonically flirting with all her girlfriends. Sasha was a new friend though, if even that, and she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. She did note that she would have to work out with Sasha in the future to see what her routines were.

“I’ll see you later,” She waved before heading out the door with her water bottle and key in hand, popping some earbuds into her ears. She wondered what she was listening to. She would have to make her a banging workout playlist later so she could have some real pump up jams.

She texted the group letting them know they could come over whenever and giving them the dorm name and room number. They all responded enthusiastically and Shea was genuinely excited to see them again. She was sure they’d have some good stories and hopefully some freshman year advice for her.

She had done a little decorating the night before but she still had to figure out how she wanted to hang her pictures, so she got to work on that. Stringing up fairy lights with all of her pictures. Some of her family, some of her best friends Dida and Vixen and even some of the theater girls. She hoped they would take many more to add to the wall and if her photoshoot with Sasha happened those would be nice to add too.

She was caught up in her thoughts when she got a call from Trixie informing her that her and Kim were almost there so Shea headed down to meet them in the lobby.

Trixie let out a loud yell when she saw Shea before running to hug her. Shea rolled her eyes but returned the hug and the excitement, “Don’t be such a basic bitch Trix, it’ll ruin my rep before I’ve even established it.”

Trixie faked looking mad but was still laughing. Kim laughed before pulling her in for a hug as well. “It’s nice to see you again whore,” she greeted her. It felt like home, she was extremely glad to see these girls.

“When are the others coming?” She asked.

“I think Max is on her way and you know Pearl can’t be on time to anything. Apparently she’s bringing her girlfriend at some point, so you know Max will be extra standoffish and weird,” Trixie told her.

Shea shot her a look, “Don’t be mean to her she just wants our friendship, and to fuck Pearl but mostly friendship.”

Trixie tried to look innocent, but it didn’t really work for her, “You’re such a cunt to her you know, she looks up to you honestly you should be a little nicer,” Kim scolded her.

“I’m a cunt to you too and you’re still my best friend so maybe I’m just mean and people are drawn to it,” Trixie shrugged. “Oh shit there she is, hey Max we were just wondering when you’d be here.” Kim and Shea shared a look but luckily the other girls didn’t notice.

Max greeted all the girls, “So we’re just waiting on Pearl then?” she asked.

“And her girlfriend,” Trixie chimed in. Kim elbowed her but she pretended not to notice.

“This should be interesting,” Kim stage whispered and Shea and Trixie broke out in laughter. They weren’t intentionally making fun of Max but the whole situation would be far too awkward if they didn’t make a joke out of it.

Max blushed, “Well Pearl hopefully doesn’t have bad taste so I guess we’ll see,” she decided.

Pearl strolled in a few minutes later, “Hey uglies were you waiting on me?” she asked.

Shea gave her a huge smile before pulling her in for a hug. Pearl had always been the one she was closest with. They spent a decent amount of time together smoking weed and writing shitty songs. Pearl was in cosmetology school in Chicago at the time and always would experiment on Shea’s hair. It was good for Pearl because she got practice working on hair that wasn’t white and good for Shea because she didn’t have to spend all her money changing her hair with her mood constantly. By the end of the two years that Pearl had been in Chicago she had gotten really good at hair, especially Shea’s. That made her going back to New York that much harder.

“I missed you slut,” she said as sincerely as she could when they pulled away.

“Please you just missed me for my styling skills and weed hookups,” Pearl joked.

“True, just not the experimental phases, for both of those,” Shea teased back. “We can head up to my room now if y’all want,” she addressed the rest of the group again.

“Wow such a gracious host,” Kim read as she followed Shea to the elevator.

“Careful bitch, I’ll lock you out,” Shea warned.

“Or she’ll just keep any snacks from you,” Trixie joked making them all laugh.

“You wouldn’t dare, Shea’s too nice, way nicer than Trixie,” Kim quipped back.

“She also doesn’t have to live with you. I guarantee she would be a lot more mean if she had to put up with you that much,” Trixie countered. Kim flipped her off. Luckily they had made it to the room so Shea took the opportunity to get them to shut up.

“Wasn’t your new girlfriend supposed to be here?” Shea asked Pearl as she unlocked the door, holding it open for the others to file in.

“She’s going to come in a bit. I don’t think she can stay for very long because she already has plans, but I wanted her to meet you at least so I think she’s just going to stop in.” It was always hard to read Pearl’s emotions. She was always so chill that it overshadowed everything else. Shea thought she seemed nervous, but she couldn’t completely tell so she decided not to push it.

“Where’s your roommate?” Trixie asked, flopping down on the couch beside Kim. Shea threw her stuff on her bedside table before hopping onto her bed and making herself comfortable. Pearl took a seat beside her. Max hesitated for a moment before pulling out Shea’s desk chair and joining their little makeshift circle.

“She went to the gym. She’ll probably be back at some point,” Shea explained, “She’s really chill I think y’all will like her.”

“You’re gonna replace us already, I’m hurt,” Kim mocked offense.

Shea rolled her eyes, “Unless she has multiple personalities she could never replace all your dumbasses.”

Pearl laughed beside her and shoved her halfheartedly, “You love our dumbasses.” Shea had to agree, it was nice to be surrounded by so much love. Even if they acted bitchy to each other it was never real. They chatted for a while, about life and school and whatever else they thought of. They were eventually interrupted by the door opening to reveal Sasha, who still looked a little red in the face from her workout. She must’ve really went hard Shea assumed.

“Hey girl, how was your workout?” Shea greeted.

Sasha shrugged, “It was alright. The gym is huge I have no idea how to use half of those machines. I’m Sasha by the way,” she turned to address the rest of the room.

The others introduced themselves in a surprisingly organized manner. Sasha gave each of them a smile, clearly trying to remember all their names. “Sorry about the sweatiness, I’m going to go shower now,” she grabbed her clothes and made her way back towards the door, “Nice meeting you all,” she said before shutting the door behind her.

Shea felt a little bad for monopolizing the room this early. She hoped Sasha didn’t resent her for it, but she did say she could have friends over if she wanted so she assumed it was okay. They went back to their conversation.

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door. Shea assumed it was either Sasha who forgot something or the neighbors to tell them to quiet down. She got up to open the door, coming face to face to a girl with the tiniest waist she had ever seen and eyebrows sharper than most knives.

“Violet,” Pearl smiled, getting up to greet her girlfriend, “You could’ve texted that you were coming up.”

“I like to make an entrance,” she said in a bored tone, “I’m Violet,” she supplied surveying the room, as if they couldn’t have figured it out.

They all introduced themselves again, though Violet didn’t look like she cared about getting to know them at all. Her eyes lit up in a smirk when Max introduced herself, like she already knew she won the competition even though there really wasn’t one to begin with.

“Quite the party you guys have here,” she joked. At least Shea thought she was joking, Pearl was the only one who laughed so Shea cracked a fake smile just to show support for her friend.

“We were just catching up, it’s been a while since we’ve all been together,” Trixie explained.

“That’s nice Tracy. Catching up with friends is riveting I’m sure, but next time you guys should come out to a party,” Violet suggested.

“It’s Trixie, and a party would be fun you’ll have to let us know about all the good ones,” Trixie responded, voice dripping in sarcasm.

“Yeah I’ll be sure to,” Violet’s phone beeped and she pulled it out to check her message.

“That’s Fame, I was supposed to meet her like five minutes ago,” Violet told Pearl.

“Fame,” Max scoffed, “that’s an interesting name.”

“It’s a nickname,” Pearl supplied.

“Yeah. She thinks it’s because she’s basically famous, but really we call her it ironically because she grew up raising chickens on a farm in the middle of nowhere,” Violet added on. “Anyways I’ll see you babe and I’m sure I’ll see you all again at some point,” she pecked Pearl on the cheek before exiting swiftly.

“Well that was interesting,” Kim finally broke the silence. They all laughed except for Pearl.

“She’s really great I promise, she’s just a little standoffish around new people,” Pearl defended.

“Whatever you say girl,” Shea said.

Pearl opened her mouth to say more but before she could Sasha reentered the room. “Hey again,” she smiled at them. She looked comfortable in a big t shirt and shorts, wet hair over her shoulder.

“Hey Sasha, come join us,” Shea invited. Sasha put her dirty clothes in her hamper before dragging her chair over by the rest of them.

“You just missed Pearl’s girlfriend. It was interesting,” Kim informed her.

“Well if you guys are as close as you seem to be I’m sure I’ll meet her eventually,” Sasha figured.

Max still looked a bit irritated, “You didn’t miss much. She was only here for like half a second.”

Pearl shot her a look of annoyance, “She already had plans. She didn’t have to stop by at all.”

Max looked a little hurt, “Sorry, I just though she came off a little rude.”

“Yeah, I won’t deny that,” Pearl shrugged, “I promise she’s great though. I really like her.”

“That’s what really matters,” Kim gave Pearl a smile, which she returned.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone Max, you just gotta give it time,” Pearl told her. Max looked like she wanted to argue but just accepted that it was what it was.

“What about the rest of you,” Pearl addressed the rest of them, “Anyone special?”

“Nope, single forever,” Trixie sighed.

“That’s just because you’re too busy pining for Katya to notice anyone else,” Kim told her.

“Kim,” Trixie groaned, “I’m not pining for Katya, I know she would never go for me.”

“Pining,” Kim sing-songed at her.

“At least I have a love interest, I don’t think you’ve ever had one,” Trixe snapped back.

Kim shrugged, “No one’s really caught my eye. I know I’m ace but I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually aro too.”

“Maybe just demi,” Sasha piped up as all their eyes turned to her.

“Demi?” Kim asked, clearly confused.

“It’s like you need to feel a strong platonic connection before you begin to feel anything romantic. I have a friend like that,” she explained.

“I’ve never heard of that, but yeah maybe,” Kim considered it.

“What about you Sasha. Anyone special in your life?” Trixie asked and Shea was glad she did because it was something she had been curious about.

Sasha looked a little uncomfortable but she still answered, “Not at the moment no.” No one pressed her further which she looked grateful for.

“I’m single too, thanks for asking,” Shea informed them.

Trixie rolled her eyes, “That’s probably because your straight ass spends a suspicious time around lesbians,” she put air quotes around straight making the group laugh.

“Bisexual too,” Pearl chimed in.

Trixie waved her away, “Yeah same but gay enough to still be relevant.”

“You’re just Katya-sexual though so not that relevant. Wait how straight is Shea exactly, I was sure her and Dida were hooking up.” Kim asked, seeming genuinely confused.

“Um I’m right here,” Shea pointed out, “People thought Dida and I were hooking up? Friendship goals,” she smiled.

“I’m so confused now,” Trixie said and they all nodded in agreement, before changing the subject when Shea didn’t offer any more T on the situation.

They talked for a while longer. Sasha fitting into their conversation easily, though they had to give her some background for certain things. Eventually they decided it was late and they should get going. Shea hugged all her friends goodbye, making everyone promise to text her when they got back to their rooms.

“Yes mom,” Trixie teased.

“Nevermind don’t text me Trix, I don’t care if you get home safe.” Trixie laughed and followed Kim out.

Once everyone had left Shea let out a long breath, “Sorry if they stayed too long, I don’t think any of them know when to leave,” Shea apologized.

Sasha waved her off, “No they’re really nice it was nice talking with you all. You have such a genuine friendship,” she commented.

Shea smiled, “Yeah they’re all great.” She grabbed her makeup bag, “I’m gonna go get ready for bed.”

“Have fun,” Sasha teased. Shea laughed before heading to the bathrooms. She washed her face and brushed her teeth before wrapping her hair for the night. She changed into her pajamas and headed back to the room. Sasha was laying in her bed reading with her bedside light turned on. She offered to turn it off if Shea wanted to sleep.

“Nah it’s fine. I won’t go to sleep for a minute anyways,” Shea told her.

They both laid in silence, Sasha reading her book and Shea browsing her phone. Eventually Sasha turned off her light. “Night Shea,” she said softly.

“Night,” Shea returned before plugging in her phone and getting comfortable. It didn’t take her too long to fall asleep.

[sufferthesea]

Hey AKIMI let me just REMIND YOU that Tobirama was Kagami's teacher and it is DISGUSTING that you ship them! And kakanaru! And kakahina! And kakasaku! AND ANY TEACHER/STUDENT SHIP YOU MAY HAVE!! Listen, filth, adults should not go around DATING CHILDREN!! Get this through your thick skull you idiot! You dumbass!! I can't believe I was ever considered friends with you. Publish this, I'll be watching. You can argue with me, you can call me out, but you can't delete this! Publish this. Publish it.

Hi Starry! I am assuming it’s you since you’re the only one I know who’s bitter enough to do this. And on anon? I’m kind of surprised! If you’re so passionate about this, you shouldn’t be on anon. You should come right out and let people know who you are! Come on, don’t be ashamed. Not sure I want to give you the satisfaction of having your username posted on here so you can have some glory. Maybe I’ll just keep you anonymous. *Dirty Little Secret plays in the bg*  

I’m glad you’re still stalking my blog! It’s funny you’re assuming my ships since you’re wrong on most of them. I don’t know where you got the idea of who I shipped, but I’m glad that you don’t even bother to read my tags! If you notice, most ships I reblog are tagged with “nms” which means “not my ship”. It’s this super cool invention called an “initialism”. And by power of deduction and critical thinking, that means I don’t ship those particular characters. I use that tag for 99% of the ships I reblog. I reblog the post because I like the art style and want to support the artist, especially with the new “best stuff first” policy. Yikes! Tumblr had a boo-boo with that update. 

I’m just getting to the Itachi Pursuit Arc, so I don’t know much about Tobirama or Kagami. I didn’t know they were teacher and student, and that’s surprising to me since I DO know Tobirama hates the Uchiha. And I don’t ship Kaka//Naru, it’s one of my no-go ships. And Kaka//Saku? My least favorite. All my mutuals (almost all lol) ship it, though, and I respect them and love them still. But KakaHina? Oh yes, that is my ship. My lovely, lovely ship. I was actually going to draw a special KakaHina picture just for you and tag you in it, but I didn’t want to be too petty. 

I don’t ship children and adults together. I don’t even really like student/teacher relationships in media. You want to know why? Because a lot of my teachers in school were abusers. A lot of them manipulated students. A lot of the ones I liked and trusted and had classes with used their underage students and harmed them. I hate how it’s portrayed in media as something “oh so wrong but oh so right” because it teaches kids and adults that it’s okay when it’s not. But here’s a thing: I ship 18+ year old Hinata with characters. Not 12 year old Hinata. Not 15 year old Hinata. 18 year old Hinata. That may seem weird to you but age gaps aren’t too big of a deal for me when someone’s over 18 because there are huge age gaps in my family. My parents are 10 years apart. My aunt is like 20 years younger than her husband. My brother is 23 years older than me. If people don’t jive with age gaps like that, then that’s fine. I don’t mind. My irl friends think it’s a little strange but they love and respect me (and are on the look out for a sugar daddy for me lmao). 

I agree, adults shouldn’t date children. It’s wrong and gross. That’s why I ship adult characters together. Isn’t it so cool that Hinata actually AGES in the show? She actually doesn’t STAY 12 years old?! Who knew she wasn’t the 6 year old vampire Claudia from The Vampire Chronicles all along! Thank God there’s such a thing as the passing of time. I know I wouldn’t want to be 12 forever. I hope you don’t either. 

I’m sorry you feel so hateful and felt the need to stalk me after you blocked me on Tumblr. I’m sorry you feel the need to send me an anon message calling me filth and a dumbass (actually that’s the first time that’s happened lol, I feel like I accomplished something!). But I put up with your ships even when I didn’t like them or agree with them. I put up with your fanfictions and fanart of characters I don’t see together. I was kind about it, I was encouraging, I was gentle, I was compassionate, and I kept my mouth shut. I’m sorry that you felt the need to abandon ship (no pun intended) when you discovered my ship. (Which, by the way, since I know you saw my header since you’re stalking me, you’ll see the screen cap is from when they’re planning Naruto’s wedding. Naruto gets married at 19. That means Hinata is 19 in that photo. A lot of my friends and FAMILY got married at 19. One of my friends got married at 19 to a 26 year old.) 

Also since you’re stalking me, that TobiKaga pic was posted 3 days ago. That either means you waited 3 days to concoct this beautiful hate message, trying to find the perfect words (great use of “idiot” and repetition of “publish this”) OR you stalked my blog back in 3 days worth of queued posts just to find something to be angry about. I don’t know what’s funnier. 

If you’d sent this 2 days ago, I probably would’ve been really upset. I would’ve wanted to delete my blog and go into hiding for a thousand years. But I’m feeling good and you’ve inspired me. I think I am finally going to go through with all the KakaHina content I’ve been waiting to make. Thanks! I appreciate the supportive shove. 

Though I do have to admit, you did get one thing right. I do have a thick skull. I can be so dense and scatterbrained sometimes. My theater teacher told me, “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on.” It’s true. But right now it looks like you’ve lost your head. Hopefully you can find it soon, along with that great dollop of kindness and maturity you kept telling me you had. 

And I “can’t delete this” message? Uhhh… yeah I can. It’s called the “delete button.” It looks like this

At least it does in Japanese. 

Hey! While I’m at it, let me tell you about my other ships!! So in RWBY I ship 18 year old Blake Belladonna with her best friend’s uncle, Qrow Branwen; her best friend’s DAD, Taiyang Xiao Long; her mortal enemy, Roman Torchwick; and her headmaster, Ozpin who is literally thousands of years old! I also think Hinata would be so cute with any of the other jounin in NARUTO! Genma? Raidou? Hayate? Why not! Heck, why not ship her with Jiraiya or Yamato. I could even do a time travel fic where she ends up with one of the Uchiha or Senju. I love AUs! 

“I can’t believe I was ever considered friends with you”. LMAO. I love that you think that 1) this is an insult, and 2) this is the first time I’ve heard that. 😂😂😂 As if these past 4 years have been anything other than people leaving me. But honestly? BIG MOOD. Same gurl, same. And I’m glad you’ve kept your sense of humor through this traumatic event. God bless the comedians. But I’M STILL LAUGHING THAT YOU THINK I SHIP KAKA//NARU OR KAKA//SAKU. LMAAAOOOOO. NO HATE TO THOSE WHO DO BUT I’M SO CONFUSED BECAUSE ?? WHERE. ON. MY. BLOG. DID. YOU. SEE. THAT??? Kaka//Saku is a blocked tag of mine. The ONE (1) thing I have on my blog flagged as K//S is a Kakashi fanart where the OP mentioned K//S in their caption. I have a gut ache from laughing. 

Gosh, your message is great. I love it. I’m thinking about making it a screenshot and setting it as my new header. I’m gonna put heart filters and sparkles on it. Maybe a face of an angry dog on it too for good measure. Priceless. Thank you for this gem. I was gonna go to bed on a sour note after some trouble figuring out work stuff, but this really boosted my mood. 

You always know what to say to make me feel better aww ;) 

Well sweet dreams! I hope you read all of this! It was so much fun to write it. I’d hate for you to miss any part of it. (Don’t be that guy who starts an argument and then never reads the person’s response because they “don’t care”. That’s just rude. Bad manners. Kind of like going into people’s inboxes and sending hate. Tsk tsk, who would ever do that? Oh … wait …) 

Also I found a song for you! 

xoxox 💖💖💖💖 Thanks for the message, nonny! Means so much you’re thinking about me!

OMG I JUST REALIZED. My tag for you was “splendid”. In Japanese, “splendid” is 立派 (rippa). I guess you RIPPA’d me a new one with this message!! Hahahaha.

[thejonzone]

Jon Writes a Year-End List

My favorite songs of 2020, alphabetically by artist

Bedouine (Margo Guryan cover)- The Hum

The original Guryan version is good but Bedouine’s take is cleaner, all the better to emphasize Guryan’s blissful songwriting. I could listen to the chords in the chorus forever.

Bob Dylan- I’ve Made Up My Mind to Give My Heart to You

It’s nice to hear Bob sing a yearning and clear-eyed love song. And the way he stretches out his words gives the whole thing a confidence that’s easy to get lost in. 

Boldy James- Giant Slide

Boldy had a great year, and it’s The Price of Tea in China with Alchemist producing that stood out to me. 

Empty Country- Becca

I don’t go to music festivals anymore, but listening to this album makes me dream of hearing it live, while being dehydrated, sweaty, feet hurting, holding in a p*op, a late afternoon sunburn loading. I want the whole thing!!

fawning, Rui Gabriel ft. Jack Riley- God

Toss it on the cloudy day walking playlist!

Frances Quinlan- Went to LA 

Great cathartic yell in this one. Quinlan builds up a palpable tension here. It rocks.

Judy ft. Jack Dolan, jommis- Say What U Mean

You’ve got to imagine these fellas knew they had put a few catchy melodies down while trying to out-croon each other.

Kurt Vile ft. John Prine (John Prine cover)- How Lucky

A Prine acolyte with a feature from the man himself. RIP.

Lala Lala, Grapetooth- Valentine

Kind of like a slow-dance song at nightmare prom. I love the percussion and Frankel’s villainously-low voice.

Lil Durk- Street Affection

The range of emotions Durk can access and scroll through is impressive.  

Miranda Winters- Little Baby Dead Bird

Scuzzy guitar and violin create a hypnotic effect in this evocative dirge. Miranda Winters is such a good singer. Check out her main band, Melkbelly-- they put out a great album this year!

Nap Eyes- Mark Zuckerberg

Two guitars: one is pointy, the other is chugging. That is the correct way to do two guitars.

Noname- Song 33

This song is 70 seconds. 70! Noname casually negates J. Cole and the song isn’t even about him. She’s so great. 

Ratboys- I Go Out at Night

Julia Steiner is on her The Hours shit in this melancholic fantasy of leaving and not returning. 

Rio da Yung OG, Lil Yachty- 1v1

I like how Yachty comes in on his verse! It’s been fun to see him back in action with his new Michigan friends. Rio is the star here, though. And Enrgy too. 

Soccer Mommy- yellow is the color of her eyes 

Sophia Allison’s delivery of “The tiny lie I told to myself is making me hollow” might be my line of the year. 

Swamp Dogg- Memories

The whole of Sorry You Couldn’t Make It is great, but for Swamp Dogg, who has covered John Prine, to work with the man before he died is a special accomplishment, and we’re better off that it’s recorded. 

Tall Juan- Irene

One of my favorite 2020 releases. And I’ll be a bit vulnerable here folks….when I am walking outside and this song comes on, I push my butt out a little bit and walk like I have rhythm and purpose. 

Tierra Whack- Dora

I’m so excited to see what Tierra Whack does, from her beat selection to how she jumps between flow and cadence. She understands herself so well. 

Non-2020-specific Music I Enjoyed, in Superlative Form

Group Vocal Performance Most Likely to Pierce Your Heartless Facade

Yesu Ka Mkwebaze

Best Song to Listen to if You are an 1850’s-era whaler in Your Feels

Mary Ann

Favorite Duet (Not Blood-Related)

Emmylou Harris and Herb Pedersen (but mostly Emmylou) create such an intricate and gorgeous melody on “If I Could Only Win Your Love”. Pedal steel heads and mandolin freaks, eat up.

Favorite Duet (Blood-related)

The Louvin Brothers- When I Stop Dreaming

Any longtime friends of the show know I’m a big fan of the singing duo The Louvin Brothers. They’ve got that golden country tone but it’s the blood harmony that turns these guys into something else entirely.

And here’s the kicker, folks. Emmylou covered When I Stop Dreaming! How coincidental for all of us reading this End of Year list…. The Louvins are my preferred version, but Emmylou, that you could help me make this connection is enough, dayenu!

Most Surprising Use of a Song in a Network TV Show

"Yama Yama" by the Yamasuki Singers, Fargo Season 2

When I was a dishwasher at St. James Cheese Co., late 2016ish, this CD was in our back of house music rotation. It is a magical album-- a Japanese children's choir with French pop production (think a bunch of bells and shit). I never learned the name of the album while working there and it fell out of my mind until years later when, after remembering how much I loved it, realized I had no idea how to find it. The pain of typing different spellings of “japanese children’s choir” into google for days on end.....I literally yelled when Fargo used this in its Season 2 big boy shootout. *chef’s kiss*

Best Album by a Spiritually Hungry Musical Genius, Lapping Her Contemporaries in Arrangement, Theme, and Songwriting, Gone Before Her Time

Judee Sill’s self-titled debut. 

Best Use of a Second Keyboard in A Keyboard Solo

Fountains of Wayne’s Red Dragon Tattoo

Do I mean to say synthesizer? Not sure. RIP Adam Schlesinger and long live FoW. What a loss.

Best Vibes/ Song I’d Most Want to Show Ezra Koenig so That We’d Bond & Become Friends

Zibote

Best Lyrics Written by a Jew in 1920’s NYC Being Sung by Willie Nelson

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea / to the open arms of the sea

Favorite TV Shows

Ramy

-Second season shook its focus on the titular character and oh am I thankful. Not that Ramy himself isn’t great, he is, but the entire cast here deserves attention. The Uncle Naseem episode. The Uncle Naseem episode. Ahem. The Uncle Naseem episode.

Joe Pera Talks with You

Lovecraft Country

-Small gripes and complicated plotlines aside, this anthology connecting gothic horror, racism, and American history is phenomenal. 

Small Axe

-The second installment in this series, Lovers Rock, which takes place at a party, is the vicarious shot in the arm you deserve, you little extroverted thing you. 

I May Destroy You

Betty

The Last Dance

-The first Bulls game I ever went to was the first game *without* Michael Jordan, at the beginning of the ‘98-’99 season. Bad timing.

The Chi

Schitt’s Creek

-This show was never about the plot. Am I allowed to say that? I’ve never cared less for a plot and more for a cast. Catherine O’Hara is in her own league above us all.

Jon Writes a Year-End List

In 2019, my roommate June and I took a road trip through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I was out of a relationship, happily or unhappily I wasn’t sure yet, but along the way I downloaded Tinder hoping to meet a local who’d be excited to make out with me. There wasn’t much bite on my line, but by the time we reached Marquette, largely due to my good looks and charisma I’d orchestrated some type of group date with June, me, a girl from Tinder, and her friend. 

We met at a dingy karaoke bar and drank for cheap. Nobody wanted to hear me sing, but I got on stage anyway and gave “Willin” by Little Feat a go. Some guy at the bar in a maroon work shirt looked at me, scoffed, and left to smoke outside. The four of us weren’t hitting it off, even with alcohol. I and the friend made a plan to sing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys'', but she quickly abandoned the duet after we had begun, citing a lack of vibes.   

But we kept singing and drinking and hours later I was leaning against the bar, waiting to order, standing next to maroon-shirt guy who had so easily shrugged off my existence earlier. What caught my eye as I stood next to him was a Star of David tattoo on his forearm. And sure enough, the name tag stitched onto his shirt identified him as “Isaac”. Well I’ll goddamn be-- this guy was frickin Jewish! I was shocked-- I assumed he was goy in the same way I assumed everyone I ran into up there would be. 

For just one unconscious assumption (I’m the only Jewish person in this Marquette karaoke bar) to be wrong felt great. My assumptions are really awful. I assumed maroon-shirt hated my guts. I assumed these two girls we were drinking with thought I was a loser too. I assume people don’t like me or respect me or have any interest in getting to know me. I tell awful stories about myself to myself, and my assumptions about the world are limiting and boring! With patience, “guy at bar who kinda scowled at me” had all of a sudden turned into “my new friend Isaac” who, after a few minutes of conversation, I “asked to bum a cigarette from.”

One of my favorite shows of 2020 was Joe Pera Talks With You. I still remember watching Joe Pera’s stand-up for the first time, and then rewatching and rewatching, savoring his cadence. He dressed and spoke like a grandpa, replete with pitch-perfect, kinda-gross mouth sounds, stutters, and low-but-driving energy. It’s a good bit, and Joe has morphed it into probably the funniest, sweetest, and least-pandering show of 2020. What I love about this show is its foundational belief that anyone can surprise you, you just need to give yourself time to notice.

I didn’t end up making out with anyone but I did wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. Wake up, barf, whimper. As June drove us out of Marquette, I could barely keep my eyes open. I did notice, however, a massive, wooden structure jutting out into Lake Superior.

It is this same Lake Superior structure that Joe Pera Talks With You fixates on for its first shot of Season 2. Yes, this is an Adult Swim show that takes place in none other than Marquette, Michigan! Which is weird. Think about other movies, shows, or books that take place in the U.P. You can’t! Even zooming out to include the larger Upper-Great Lakes region leaves us with an almost-empty net: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot and titular Gatsby’s origin story on Lake Superior. These are stories of hard living and life and death on the dangerous Great Lakes. But neither of those are specific to the Upper Peninsula.   

Regions are an easy if reductive lens with which to attempt to view and understand people. In 2020, broad and sweeping generalizations about large swaths of people continued to gain power. There was the movie adaptation of JD Vance’s ahistorical Hillbilly Elegy. Woolly-eyed liberals trotted out fake maps of a preferred America that holds only the “good” blue states, not at all engaging in the history of racism and voter suppression that got us here. Besides the fact that Georgia went blue. And Democratic strongholds like California, New York, and Chicago betray any notion of a “better” America. The sins of this nation are not cordoned off into one section or time zone, no region is monolithic, and most importantly, no person can be explained away with a quick sentence.

There is no regional monolith more widely misunderstood than the Midwestern gestalt. Fargo (the show) does a great job of serializing this one type of Midwestern character-- they say “oh sure, happy to help” and they’re murderers. So for Joe Pera to settle his show in the U.P. is a fun choice. Most Americans are probably hard-pressed to conjure an accurate mental picture of who the U.P. is, so Pera creates his own flavor of a seemingly-recognizable small Midwestern town.

In the first episode, Joe walks us through the bean arch he’s growing. Why grow snap beans? “Beans are straightforward.” Straightforwardness, or the appearance of, is central to Pera’s charm. Pera’s shtick is walking the audience through a basic task that can serve as a metaphor for a larger existential question. This conceit isn’t new to Pera, but it has been en vogue recently, with shows like Andy Daly’s Review and the new HBO show How To with John Wilson. These shows present a simple stated goal that obfuscates a larger, more complex grapple. 

Joe Pera Talks With You is incredible and endearing because of the genuine tone Pera gives his tight-knit Marquette. We’re getting deranged lunatics like Conner O’Malley and Dan Licata to write jokes for 70-year old Michigan grandmas at a salon. The show trades in the perceived Midwestern folksiness for a punchline, yet doesn’t lose itself in irony or resentment. 

Every character in the Joe Pera universe has the opportunity to be profound. Pera gives every character the patience they deserve; even O’Malley’s berserk Joe Rogan listening-caricature Mike Melsky gets incredible moments of vulnerability. It’s a rare comedy: self-aware but not self-obsessed, sweet but not gross, and uniquely funny.  

Nowhere else on TV are you going to see such consistently great acting. Some of the best working comedians are in this season. Conner O’Malley has found a way to tap into his unsettling grotesque that is a pleasure to watch, playing characters at the ends of their ropes, shrieking. Jo Firestone is hilarious and essential as Joe’s doom-prepper girlfriend Sarah. We get guest stars like  genius Carmen Christopher. Even one-line role players like Joe’s teacher-coworker, who says Joe and Sarah go together “like desk and chair,” knock it out of the park. 

The questions at the heart of Talks With You feel more pronounced in a year of death and isolation. How do we connect with people? How can we really be there for our loved ones? How can we feel comfortable in our own skin? The show came out pre-pandemic but Pera’s touch and pacing is universal.

It’s difficult not to compare Talks With You to How to with John Wilson. The two shows have a lot in common. Both protagonists are soft-spoken, and speak at an arrhythmic clip. John Wilson’s voice is affected just like Pera’s; both vocal deliveries are meant to engender trust by signaling to us that they’re lacking some social confidence. But I don’t buy Wilson’s shtick as much as Pera’s.

John Wilson’s show is not straightforward in the same way Pera’s is, and the show suffers under the added weight of pretense. Wilson’s tangents lead us to places that barely fit under the established thematic umbrella and feel forced. On memory, Wilson’s adventure with the Mandela Effect turns from fascinating to boring as the truthers devolve into sketch characters, viewing simple spelling errors with magnifying glasses. “How to Cover Your Furniture” spends an upsettingly long amount of time with an anti-circumcision advocate as Wilson works through the question of how much we are allowed to change parts of other people. Meant to appear as if they effortlessly fell into place, these characters feel shoe-horned in.

Both characters and shows are performative authenticity, and Joe Pera and John Wilson’s whole deal is their status as observer. This year, many of us have become observers. I know I have: unemployed, unable to see people, watching death counts climb, sending money to various bail funds and rent relief to people and organizations near and far. There is a responsibility to being an observer. It is not some callous task. Being an effective observer means allowing your subject the space they need to be as they are and not foisting your own nonsense onto them.

In Joe Pera’s America, it’s understood that everyone is weird. By virtue of being human, we are all weird, off, we do confusing things, and say dumb stuff that doesn’t make sense. Even you’re a weird freak. John Wilson’s subjects seem like circus animals, squeezed in front of the camera for their fucked-up little flip. I can’t shake the feeling that John Wilson is making fun of the people he’s observing. Pera’s observations are rooted in the fairness that comes from seeing humanity in people-- every person has an equal chance of surprising you with how weird they are if you just make them comfortable and let them talk. We owe that to each other.

To be fair, these shows are also very different. Wilson’s found-footage, documentary style is ingenious, hilarious, and completely not the vibe that Pera and Co. are going for at all. And region here is everything. Wacky stuff happening in NYC? Eh, isn’t that par for the course over there? Wait, a show set in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? Ok...now that I’ve never seen. 

Obviously I was wrong about Isaac in Marquette, just as any broad assumption about a region and its people will be. I actually learned that Jews have a significant relationship to the U.P. And I found similarities between my own Jewish history, covering a similarly nebulous area of the Rust Belt/Midwest, and my U.P. cousins. Yes, home was closer than I thought, even across the length of Lake Michigan. Yes, people don’t just hate my guts. Yes, we can overcome lazy assumptions and we can even connect with people. We can make a better world. It just requires patience and listening.

Now, on to my thoughts regarding Fiona Apple’s landmark album Fetch the Bolt Cutters...

[im-abanana]

“Meant to Belong” [1/3]

Wanted to write a fanfiction about BATIM (Bendy and the Ink Machine), and especially about my new ship Bendalice (Bendy x Alice). I just put it on AO3 too, but whatever, I’ll post it here too! :P 

This first chapter is Angst, but the next two will be Angst, Fluff and Smut, so be careful with the next ones and, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Said so, I hope you’ll enjoy!

Summary: Hidden very deep inside his soul for many years, there was a shocking emotion that made the little devil realize that the fallen angel wasn't just a simple co-worker, or a friend, or a rival, or a family member to him; but more, so much more. Their peculiar bond was a little more... complex, unique, maybe genuine. In other words, somehow they were meant to be together, drawn and designed to truly belong to each other. But all the pranks, all the fights and all the teasing sometimes made everything difficult, especially after that particular night.

The thick door of Alice's private dressing room slammed loudly behind her back as the fallen angel walked towards the huge mirror on the wall, sitting in front of it and sinking her aching head in her gloved hands, sighing out deeply and trying to calm the raging thoughts that were invading her mind. “Why can't Bendy just understand that he isn't the only one working on this show? Why can't he be friendly, or at least kind to me and Boris? Why can't people and kids realize how much of an arrogant, spoiled brat that demon is? Why do they...” a wheeze escaped the girl's black lips as the last part of the question carved its way inside her brain, forcing her to feel a sort of guilt, even shame, in the core of her chest. “... why do they love him more than me?”.

She shouldn't have been jealous of Bendy, Alice was aware of that, and somehow the realization that she envied her co-worker made her feel sick in the stomach. Yes, that perfect little angel, the character supposed to be a perfect and gentle creature, envied a stupid, mischievous little devil; she envied the joyful sparks of light in the children's tiny eyes when he would walk on stage with that smug grin of his, she envied the praises Joey and the parents would give him after every single set, while she and Boris would just stay silently behind the curtain and compliment each other, she envied the larger quantity of “Bendy Merchandise” the creators sold every month, she envied... everything.

She envied his whole fucking existence and, very deep inside her heart, no matter how much she desired to become a star and shine at least half as bright as him, Alice knew she would have never reached Bendy's popularity. “Especially after tonight... how could I be so careless?”.

Tripping over Bendy's stupid tail, right in front of dozens of yelling kids while she was singing and dancing on stage side by side with the devil in question and the poor naive Boris, had been mortifying enough, definitely... those brats' ruthless laughter still echoed in Alice's offended mind, and the worst thing was that even the previously calm and uninterested parents completely lost it when the angel made that single mistake! And all because of that stupid step, that one slip! Com'on, it wasn't her fault if that idiotic demon cut her off all of the sudden; he always wanted to be the center of attention no matter what, and Joey knew it very well! But despite everything she said or her sincere apologies about her rash actions (“You could have injured Bendy as well!”, they carelessly said.), she was the one who got severely scolded backstage by the whole crew, except the sweet and generous Boris, of course. “And in an hour I'll have to perform once again in front of those people. Just great, fantastic, exactly what I need to feel better... I'm sure that “The Butcher Gang” would entertain those children way more than me, maybe I should ask them to cover for me. Ugh, but Joey would be furious, I have no choice it seems.”.

The only reasonable thing to do was sucking it up and walking tall and proud on that stage, not caring about the stinging criticism or amused gazes. As long as she didn't have to bear Bendy's wiseacre grin, everything would be fine.

At that exact moment, the wooden door behind the angel squeaked, sign that it had been opened by someone, without any warning, and then discreetly closed again with a silent thud. Alice's muscles tensed for an instant, and when she slowly turned around to see the mysterious visitor's face, she had to hold back an irritated groan and a few insults that came to her mind incredibly fast. “Aww! Don't give me that sneer, toots! I came here to check on you!”.

“Get lost, Bendy. I'm not in the mood to put up with you and your childish games.” the young woman replied with pure hatred, staring at the tiny demon standing right in front of her, as usual not scared or intimidated by her enraged expression; the devil's black jacket, the one he was elegantly wearing during their performance, was rapidly tossed away as Bendy made himself comfortable, sitting on a chair and relaxing, as if everything was his private property. And he still had that idiotic, conceited smile on his face... “I said get lost! I did not invite you inside!” Alice repeated with a snarl when she realized she had been completely ignored, getting up and clenching her fists. “Did you hear me, you stupid devil!? This is my dressing room! These are my things! That is my chair! And I want you out of here right now, you understand!?”.

“Woah, calm down Angel Cake, no need to be so snarky! I just came here to congratulate with you... for the perfect landing on the stage, especially on your butt! Seriously sweetie, after tonight the creators should change your slogan in -She sings! She dances! And she falls on her huge ass!-!” Bendy simply replied with a small shrug and then with a coarse laugh, smirking in response and turning in “his” chair, his pitch black eyes blinking joyfully as Alice got even angrier and grayer on her smooth cheeks. Oh, how he loved to tease that angel! “Uhh, someone's mad, toots? Eheh... ehy, com'on Angel Face, put that hairdryer down! I'm just playing aroun-! Alice... please, put that thing down. N-no, don't! Boris, Joey! BORIS AND JOEY, HELP ME! Alice wants to hurt me! AHH!”.

The black haired girl threw at the short demon the hairdryer, a spray can, a shoe, a thick book, a desk lamp and even a small table she found in a corner, managing to predict his erratic movements and scoring at least three perfect hits in the face with the last objects. “Golly toots, calm down! Don't ruffle any feathers, and just sit do-! Umh... ops, right, I'm very sorry! That was way out of line, I admit it! Forget what I just said and... no, stop with that stuff!” Bendy hid behind the nearby couch and bit his pale lower lip as he immediately recalled that Alice, in fact, didn't have wings. Sometimes the spiteful devil would call his graceful co-worker dumb names, like “Angel Cake”, “Angel Face” or “Toots” when he simply wanted to flirt, but the most hated of them all was definitely “No Wings”; being a horned fallen angel, an imperfect creation that represented pride and betrayal by nature, had always made that talented woman feel uncomfortable on stage, almost under constant pressure: after all, that kind and good-hearted angel was supposed to be a perfect and beautiful artist, but it was clear to see that, when all eyes were locked on her, she felt worse or maybe in danger, despite she tried to hide those nasty feelings with sweet smiles and a strong character. “I swear, this time I didn't mean it! I shouldn't have said that and I apologize for that, ok?”.

“Get. The. Living. Hell...” Alice hissed and lifted a pretty big wooden nightstand with both arms, her dark and shiny irises glowing red for a moment as she literally shouted the last part of the phrase and hurled that piece of furniture to him at the same time, not caring about destroying her refined sofa or anything else, really. She just wanted that intolerable cartoon out of her sight, once for all. “OUT! I've heard enough from you, Bendy! Go away!”.

Dodging the violent hit with a nimble leap, the tiny demon raced towards the dressing room's exit at full speed, his pointy tail tightly pressed between his shaking legs in defeat and pure terror. “You got that toots, leaving now, goodbye, see you in one hour, get ready and beautiful and prepared for the big show, babe!!!” Bendy nodded with great vigour, desperately crawling outside and closing the white door behind his narrow shoulders, giving up and choosing to live. Damn, what a jerk, he was just having fun!“Phew... That was too close indeed... jeez, what's wrong with Alice tonight? I was just kiddin', she is too overly-sensitive! Bah girls, I'll never understand them!”.

But that's when Bendy heard a quiet noise, an easily recognisable sound that filled his careful ears and made him freeze in his shady track when he realized what he had just done: his usually joyful and positive co-worker was silently sobbing behind the layer of wood that separated the duo, her slim face buried deeply in her tapered fingers. He, with his unintentionally cruel and selfish words, had made Alice cry and had probably hurt her already damaged spirit. Sadness, nervousness, humiliation, insecurity, fear, incomprehension and rage merged all together, causing a painful weep to escape from the angel's wet lips and a couple of heavy, inky tears to stream down her soft and marked cheeks.

Well, damn crap. Good fucking job, you made Alice cry, you stupid little dancing moron. You... you made your co-worker upset right after an important performance, very well done.

���She never cried before... or did she?” Bendy asked with a gentle huff, mostly to himself, dropping down and pressing the left side of his artificial skull against the thin drywall, guilt and sorrow filling his short limbs and spreading quickly along with an empty hole, consuming the energies of the middle, throbbing spot of his incredibly gaunt chest. “Did I ever... even notice?”.

Of course you didn't notice her feelings or Boris' ones, you idiot. You're just a egotistical little shit, you only care about yourself and your popularity, and no one else. Right?

No, wrong, so wrong. Of course he cared about that kind angel and about Boris, they were his best friends. Well, his only friends, to be fair... and making Alice suffer or breaking her heart was the last thing Bendy wanted to do, despite how much he loved to tease her, underline his own attitude or sometimes fight with her, verbally and physically. That little demon thought that everyone knew that he was just kidding, that all he liked to do was playing around and having fun, not only with the kids, his little beloved fans. But now he evidently took a bad step...“You fucked up Bendy, you hurt one of your own friends.”.

You shouldn't lie to yourself like that, you know?

Yeah, he shouldn't have indeed. Hidden very deep inside his soul for many years, there was a shocking emotion that made the little devil realize that the fallen angel wasn't just a simple co-worker, or a friend, or a rival, or a family member to him; but more, so much more. Their peculiar bond was a little more... complex, unique, maybe genuine. In other words, somehow they were meant to be together, drawn and designed to truly belong to each other.

No matter if they were living and thinking creatures, capable of taking their personal decisions and freely express their temperament, the innate attraction they shared was still there, impossible to remove or ignore. Was it because of his purpose, for the audience, was it just a trait he couldn't erase from his artificial DNA? Or was it because after all, it was a real feeling, spontaneous? “No. She is my rival, that's what we truly are, that's what we both chose to be. Joey might tell me that Alice Angel is my official love interest, but we both know this won't happen. I am the number one, I must be on top of this whole show, I won't give up the place I've earned just for love!”.

So, you're even admitting that you're in love with her, uh? Nice move, you idiot!

That wasn't good, oh no, that wasn't good at all! He had to fix the situation as soon as possible, no matter what, even if the idea of facing her again in a few seconds was rather scary and intimidating, so much that Bendy had to rub his throbbing temples with his white gloves. “Grow a pair Bendy, you're the boss here! Yeah, you're the big star! Now walk into that room and deal with Alice!”.

Damn right he was! And besides, he still needed to get his black jacket back.