#OOOOOOOOOOW

[gnibiv-tsuj-xela]

oh wait!!! it was your birthday, right?? I hope im not too late!!!!

[You got x1 PRESENT! inside is an electric guitar.]

?uoy siht

FTW UOY KNAHT TIHS YLOH -stahw tiaw ho

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I feel like I have more AUs where I make Bill a Not-Triangle than I do ones where I keep him a triangle

[applebunch]

i’m not saying that i think that gemma will outright REFUSE to let leon out of the crystal ball when the time comes, because that might be a little much, but... oh my god. guys. what if leon and gemma become friends while they’re working together. like. like. like.

the group of people who knew who leon was and mourned his death are already well established, but if we’re like. adding someone new to leon’s group of friends AFTER he died???? like. shit!!!!!!!

leon’s friends and family want to see him be at peace and have spent years moving on from his death, so to them, helping leon Move On For Good isn’t something that effects them as much as it could.

but to gemma.

to GEMMA.

[parackalism]

oooooooooow ow wowowoow owwoowqww shit why did i do htat oh mygod

[ja3yun]

okay. so guess who else is fucking jumping THE HECK WELL I THOUGHT SHIT MAn maybe theyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy idk get arrested and that it BUT THEY FRIKNG DIE???????????????

wow wow woooooooooooooooooooooooow oooooooooow

like i know we said that u slay and shit very true btw BUT U did u have to slay them too

(great story tho jokes aside)

SLAY THEM IJBOL plss i wanted a shock factor for this, there is a reason i focused on character development rather than plot like i wanted you to feeeel the hurt 🙏🏻😭i am very happy you enjoyed it though!

[howlingday]

Nora: We won!

Jaune: (Sighs) I'm glad that's over.

Ruby: Yeah. Hopefully we don't have to explain this.

Pyrrha: Oh? Explain what?

Jaune: ...Oh no.

Ruby: Don't tell me...

Weiss: Ruby Rose, you WILL explain yourself.

Ruby: (Gulps)

---------------------------------------------------

Weiss: You damaged school property, snuck out without letting anyone on the team know-

Ruby: Yang knew!

Weiss: And she is being punished for it!

Yang: (Muffled, Through the door) NGYAH~! Harder~!

Blake: (Muffled, Through the door) Stop enjoying this.

Weiss: And worst of all, you thought you could hide this from me! Ruby Rose, YOU are a BAD GIRL.

Ruby: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Weiss: You can apologize after your punishment. Now, bend over.

Ruby: W-Wait! What about Jaune and Nora?! They're involved in this, too!

Weiss: Yes, and they are being punished by Pyrrha.

Ruby: But they're not screa-MING! (Held bent by glyph)

Weiss: Pyrrha Nikos has her ways, (Black glyph spins in her hand) AND I HAVE MINE!

Ruby: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

---------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha: (Hugging Jaune and Nora) What you did was stupid and reckless... You should be glad no one was hurt!

Nora: Uh, technically, people were hurt, but-

Jaune: Uh, what Nora means to say is that we're both grateful to come out unharmed, but we're both still very, VERY sorry about what happened.

Nora: Uh, yeah, sure. Um, are you going to spank us?

Pyrrha: (Pulls away) I'm afraid I have to. I can't just have my teammates run wild, even if you are my team leader, Jaune. So get ready for one thousand spankings!

Jaune: Please, (Bends over) punish me first! It's what I deserve after all the pain I caused.

Pyrrha: Thank you for taking this in stride, Jaune.

Jaune: (Gulps, Shivers)

Pyrrha: (Pats his bum) Thank you for being so open and reflective, Jaune. Words can't describe how happy I am that you and Nora are safe.

Jaune: Pyrrha...

Nora: Uh, I guess it's my turn then, right? (Bends over, Thinking) If that's the worst she's got, then I've got nothing to worry about.

Pyrrha: Yes, it is. Oh, and before I forget, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it was you, Nora, who caused the most destruction, correct?

Nora: Yup! And I feel JUST AWFUL about it.

Pyrrha: I see. Then it would be most fitting for you to take the rest of the punishments.

Nora: ...The rest?

Pyrrha: Yes, the rest of the one thousand spankings. Jaune took his one, which leaves you with nine-hundred-ninety-nine left.

Nora: NINE-HUNDRED-NINETY-NINE?!

Pyrrha: (Aura focuses in her palm) Begin!

CRACK!

OOOOOOOOOOW!

[writteninsunshine]

We've All Been Dead For Years - Mammon/Asmodeus - SFWish

Title: We’ve All Been Dead For Years

Author: Keith

Fandom: Helluva Boss

Setting: Ozzie’s House

Pairing: Mammon/Asmodeus | Ozzie

Characters: Mammon, Asmodeus | Ozzie

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1319

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Request #4 On Gimme-A-Thrust

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Fizzarolli/Asmodeus Mention, Fizzarolli Mention, Medical, Surgery, Drugs, Drug Use, Medical Drug Use, Mammon is loopy as shit, This might be some kind of tooth removal

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Summary: Did he really expect that to work?

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a Helluva Boss Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Gimme-A-Thrust! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Tumblr/Twitter!

Requests are still open, and I’m really enjoying working on these. They will likely be posted out of order as I finish them because some of them are longer than others, it depends where the muse takes me. I’ve been having a lot of fun working on them, though, these are a lot of fun. Getting outside input is always fun!

My friend Sol edited this for me, and I owe the lack of typos to them! Their help was greatly appreciated and I’m so happy to be able to post this today!

SMALL NOTE: Since I like the royalty all being some level of avian/flying thing, Mammon’s design is based on a mixture between the Moluccan Cockatoo and a Red-Tailed Black Cockatoo. His design will be done by my husband eventually, and if he allows me to, I might include it in a fic if people want to see it. If not I can link to wherever he posts it in a fic.

Helluva Boss Fic Masterlist

We’ve All Been Dead For Years

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You’re so… So damn purdy.” Mammon cooed, reaching up with one clawed hand. Ozzie blinked down at him, his head tilting slightly as he watched the other waving his arm stiffly. At least something was stiff because, for the most part, the other sin was a limp noodle. Usually, he didn’t talk like that, either, and it was oddly amusing watching him swipe at the air with his tongue poking out from between his lips. For a second, he almost looked like Fizzarolli, except his tongue was thick and rounded instead of thin and forked.

“Yeah?” Ozzie couldn’t help but snort, shaking his head, “How high are you?”

“How high do you wan’ me t’be?” The elder Sin grinned, nuzzling his cheek into Ozzie’s chest. His arm finally fell back against his own chest and stomach and he whined, “Oooooooooow…”

“...That hurt, Baby?” Ozzie asked absently as he carried the other towards his room. When Mammon had asked him to look after him the night of his ‘minor surgery,’ Ozzie hadn’t thought much of it. But this? This was comedic gold. Too bad that Fizzarolli had had to work that night. They were both at a bit of a loss without one another, but Ozzie would survive in the other King’s company. Whether Fizzarolli could survive without him was a question he didn’t want to think about.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwhat?” Green eyes were wide as the smaller Sin took in Ozzie’s face, his lips parted and eyes wide in awe. Really, this gargantuan, beautiful creature was very rapidly turning his brain to mush, as if it wasn’t already. Arguably, it was probably pretty close. Ozzie didn’t even know what Mammon had had done, just that he’d had to be put out for it. 

I’m sensitive to anesthesia and pain meds, so I need you to make sure I don’t choke to death on my own tongue.

Apparently, he just wanted to have the excuse to shamelessly gawk at him. It wasn’t like Asmodeus really minded, though, humming a little as he took the three steps to the first landing, then the three that would take him to his room. The song in question rumbled through his chest, and Mammon flattened himself against the other’s body, purring loudly despite how stunted it sounded. He really must have been out of it. 

His wings rustled behind him, one on either side of the arm pillowing his back, wrapped around his own shoulders. Tail snapping near the other’s knees, Mammon thought for a few seconds before trying to reach up again. This time, he drug his claws over the King of Lust’s neck, collar bone, and finally down his shirt, tearing it some.

“Hey!” Asmodeus snapped, narrowing his eyes with a firm frown, “Don’t do that.”

But Mammon didn’t seem to have anything else on his mind at the moment, but when he opened his mouth next, what came out didn’t fit the conversation, if it could be called one.

“Do you have a name?” He asked distractedly, his fingers curling more into the already ruined silk shirt he’d decided to shred to ribbons, “Or can I call you mine?”

Ozzie just about choked on his laughter, a squawk leaving him that had the other’s crest lifting, the black giving way to green feathers beneath it. Whatever that sound was seemed like it was meant to join Ozzie’s cry of amusement, but all it did was confuse him.

“I… Baby, do you even know your name?” He finally asked as he entered his bedroom, pausing for a moment as he glanced between his bed and the doorway at the far right of his room. In that smaller room, notably where he kept all of his sex toys and the RoboFizzes that he owned, was a staircase that lead up to a bedroom made for the larger demons that stayed with him on occasion. He considered, for a moment, that Mammon might trip and snap his neck if he put him up there by himself.

“Uhhhh, yeah,” Mammon scoffed, rolling his glowing eyes, “It’s mine.”

Well, that didn’t sound entirely wrong, but Ozzie didn’t believe him.

“Then what’s your name?”

“...Baby?” Well, it was no wonder he might think that. It wasn’t like Ozzie had been calling him anything else.

“Nope, try again.”

“Uhhhhhhhhh…” Furrowing his brow as he was brought to Ozzie’s canopy bed, he yelped only when Ozzie nearly crushed him into the mattress to lay them both down. Caging Mammon in, he purred softly, gentle clucks leaving him in hopes that the other would calm down before he freaked out. After all, he didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of a panicked King of Hell.

“Nope, it’s not ‘Uhhhhhhhhh.’ Do you need a hint?” Ozzie asked finally, settling down half on top of the other Sin, petting his feathers back down as he regarded him with a softer look in his eyes. Once they were smoothed out, he pulled the other into his chest and purred for him, clucking in soft, slow intervals.

“Naaaaaah, I got this.” Mammon nodded in a way that he thought was emphatic, but Ozzie would have told you it was lethargic at best. Belphegor would have been proud if he could have seen the slothful exhibition before him right now, “Mommy.”

Another squawk of a laugh had Ozzie finally just letting it happen, a deep rumble of joy in his chest.

“Nah, you always got mad at me for calling you Mammy when we were younger, you know. Kept saying ‘I’m not your mom.’” Finally, he took pity on him, pressing his beak to the other’s forehead, “Shh, it’s Mammon.”

“So I can call you Mammon.”

“...I don’t think that’s how that line’s supposed to go.” But Ozzie was amused, at least. Usually, Fizzarolli was his silly little guy, but just this once he’d let Mammon steal the spotlight. After all, it was about time that Ozzie let him have an inch, and he was too high right now to run with it further than a few feet. Nuzzling his face against the other’s neck, he nipped at the skin there gently, “But sure. Tonight, I’ll be yours. Tomorrow morning you have to share me again.”

“Share…?” Brows furrowing, the elder Sin finally just closed his eyes and sighed when Ozzie didn’t seem willing to elaborate. It took him several minutes to speak again, and when he did, his eyes popped open wide. Ozzie had started to drift in and out of a light sleep, only to lift his head again when the other suddenly spoke, “So… Do you have a name?”

Stifling another laugh behind his hand, Ozzie nodded, cradling Mammon tighter against his chest so he didn’t see the way Ozzie’s face was moving. It definitely looked mocking, he was sure, because he couldn’t help himself. If only he had a camera handy.

“Just call me Ozzie, Baby.”

“Gotcha, Ozzie Baby,” Mammon replied coolly, happy to allow himself to be practically nested against the larger demon. If only he knew just how typical that was of him to call the younger Sin that… In fact, Ozzie was willing to bet that was why he’d started calling Fizzarolli Olli Baby. It just was just a term of endearment to him that it had been more than natural.

“Can you just try and nap for me?” While he’d meant to sound exasperated, his tone belied the clear joy he was getting from all of this, “I’ll lay with you, we can just try and rest this off.”

“Mmmhm…” It took less than a minute of a perfectly pitched purr and humming on Ozzie’s part before Mammon fell into a dreamy sleep, Ozzie filling his waking and sleeping mind just the same. That wasn’t unusual, not really, but he didn’t usually have these dreams with the man himself right there.

Maybe he needed to remedy that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: This one was a lot of fun, actually. It’s based on a list of bad pick-up lines, and I couldn’t get over how much fun this one sounded like it would be. Turns out I was right, too! Ended up being a lot of fun, and I would love to take more of these.

Prompt: Request #4 On Gimme-A-Thrust: “Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?”

[keanureevesisbae]

Every single time Hank Voight takes off his jacket and reveals a short sleeved shirt, I go 'OooooOooooW' out loud and every time it appears my dog is absolutely done with me whenever I make that sound lol

[segoviag]

Oooooooooow💖

[honeycombalbedo]

jaSKDCJGAKHKHJEFJDHGJKFHSFJLJ inazuma

live blogging the first world quest

so normal so far but i did enjoy the build up to this, especially since we arent getting on the boat immediately

AYE "depths of the abyss" DOES KATHRINE KNOW ABOUT THE ABYSS?? MA'AM

WA BYE KATHRYNE WWAAAAAAAAAAAAWAWA

OH FUCK KATHRYNE

CUTSCENES AREEDHASKJLDEFJDJNSLDEFJ HOWS THE CRUX FLEET SIMPS DOING??

OOOOOOOOOOW E'RE IN

WAIT THOMA ASLDKHJKDJLKD WHY IS HE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER

tbh im so glad the rewrote his preserved personality that his model gave everyone, he would have been so insufferable but this! this malewife is good

damn entry really was easier than we thought huh

AAAHHAHHA THE SECOND OPTION

oooo soundtrack is so good holy shit

is it just me or is the imagining mond and liyue supposed to be aimed at us?

this reminds me of ganyu's quest where we investigated tax evasion

NO I WANNA HELP I WANNA HELP STOP THE VISION HUNT LET ME HELPPPPP

LOOK AT MY GIRL EXCITED SHE SHARED A KNOWING GLACE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

HSJAHSVDJHKLHBWDJHSKEFV NOOOOOOOOOOO

WAIT I WAS FUCKING KIDDING ABOUT THOMA BEING A GOLDEN RETRIEVER HES AN ACTUAL FUCKING DOG??????//

OH ALRIGHT DICKHEAD WAY TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL

WADALWIKHFWESHILDFESKZDUPI LET ME LOOK AT AYAKA LET ME SEE HER LET ME HELP HER LET ME MA

THEN WE SKIP PRETTY FAR AHEAD

AHAHAHAHJSJA CAN PAIMON CATCH A BREAK???

wait... so when i was joking about only decent people getting visions i was actually kinda right??? when that one dude had his vision yoinked he became less selfless and more likely to act out in aggression, huh?

how are the angst fic writers doing with the new lore?? personally im excited to see my favs fall into a depression and forget who they and once lover

WOW WHAT THE GRAND SHRINE IS SO AMAZING GHOLY FYCK

obhbhiheiOHOHJOJOJP LADY YAE

WIEODIIOIFJDOIJHJIIJHJIOI AYAKA IN THE FLESHSHSHJHH

THE MENTAL IMAGE OF VENTI RIDING TO INAZUMA ON DVALIN TO GET A FAKE VISION MADE FOR HIM IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IDK WHY

HOLY SHIT THIS QUEST IS SO LONG

but maybe im thinking its longer than it is bc i had to go to a workshop??? idk?

WHA

KKATHRYNE CAN TELEPORT THE FUCK

ONCE AGAIN FUCK KATHRYNE

ah i knew there'd be a summer festival in inazuma, though i shouldnt be surprised looking at yoimiya's design anyways she's pretty epic

time to do crime

THE DOMAIN MUSIC Q,MWNFNLKDQNDLJKFLDJ;KASDLKNJ L;

yeah yoimiya's very epic i love her

god i fucking love thoma what a dumbass

AND THATS ACT 1 alright im gonna go do some exploring

[bywandandsword]

I forgot! That skating! Was a workout!

Everything! Hurts!

[kyathekyanite]

You don't need to own a pearl.. you can just get a pearl pal! This pearl wil not be your slave but your friend! (Throws purl)

… oooooooooow Dx

[cinzava]

Essa mina manda muito tbm oooooooooow

SIMMMM, manda bem demais1!!!!! não consigo lidar

[ask-ctk]

So after Curse ate all that spicy noodles is CTK annoyed

*OW! OW! OOOOOOOOOOW! MY SOUL!!! MY BONES! IT BUUUUURNS! CURSE!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!

*Kehehehehe~

[cooliogirl101]

Re - Sayuri/Christina : Waow. Thanks for such a detailed answer ! I loved reading it !! XD XD It would be a very different future it seems. I love the idea that being a ramen chef is her first choice. Would she end in the 4th again though ?And would Hisana/Lily have a better relationship with Sayuri/Christina? Oooooooooow! : the one million dollars question : who would Byakuya fall in love with ? Hisana/Lily or (baasan ?) Sayuri/Christina ?

Haha I didn’t mean for it to get so long but halfway through responding I decided the idea was actually rather fun to write. I’m not sure whether or not she’d end up in the Fourth– I feel like she’d follow her brother into the Fifth because god knows someone needs to keep an eye on him. She’d definitely pick up some healing kido though. 

As for what the two girls would think of each other, well…I don’t see their relationship being a hostile one. But it wouldn’t be a friendly one, either. Mainly, Hisana/Lily would have no idea what to think of Sayuri/Christina– like she’s dangerous, certainly, she’s scarily devoted to her twin, she knows about the Bleach plotline and doesn’t seem bothered by her brother’s potential role in it…but at the same time, if she’s a villain, she’s a very bad one. For heaven’s sake, she picks up shifts at the local ramen shop and she set up a miniature soup kitchen in the Rukongai where she donates the leftovers to hungry, reiatsu-sensitive children. She cried when Shiba Kukaku gave her a pet pig on her birthday. Instead of squishing spiders, she gently escorts them outside. She reads cheesy romance novels in her spare time. And yes, it’s possible that it’s all an act but…no one’s that good at acting. Not even Aizen Sousuke’s twin. 

On the flip side, Sayuri/Christina is slightly wary about Hisana/Lily. She’d be stupid not to be, considering what the other girl knows. But at the same time, Hisana/Lily has literally zero proof. Sousuke hasn’t done anything wrong yet (she made sure of it) and if Hisana/Lily ever brought up her suspicions…well, there are consequences to bringing up unfounded allegations against a senior officer, and Hisana/Lily knows that more than anyone. So she keeps an eye on her counterpart but doesn’t consider her a serious threat (it doesn’t help that the other girl is just so cute. And smol. Seriously, she’s not even 5 feet tall– it’s adorable.).

In this scenario, I might actually ship Sayuri/Christina with Shinji. Mostly because I love how Confused he’d be by her. I firmly believe that what caused him to suspect Aizen Sousuke in the first place was the fact that he was too perfect. “No one’s that nice, so he must be hiding something.” Now apply that logic to Sayuri/Christina and all I’m getting is an image of him stalking her to find some evidence of wrongdoing. Like imagine: 

He catches her sneaking into the Shiba compound at 3 am. Turns out, she just wanted to pet the newborn piglets. 

He gets the 12th Division to analyze the freshly baked cookies found on his desk. The chemical report comes back the next day, revealing the ingredients to be flour, eggs, sugar, butter, baking powder, table salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and a hint of vanilla. The report comes with a note saying ‘Thanks for the cookies!! They were delicious :))) -Kisuke’

He hears a vague rumor that she’s involved in a child labor ring of some kind. Turns out, she’s just taken advantage of a loophole in Seireitei law that states people from the Rukongai are allowed inside if they have proof of employment. She’s smuggled like 35 children into the Seireitei over the years (mostly those with enough spiritual energy to get hungry but not enough to become shinigami). They all have ‘jobs’ in various ramen shops, dango stands, restaurants, etc. across the Seireitei– places where they’ll never go hungry again. 

She hastily covers up some papers when he walks into her office. After some discreet investigating, he finds out she was writing fanfiction of some romance novel he distantly remembers Lisa complaining about (“I’m telling you, it was so sweet I think it actually rotted my teeth.”).

He finds out that she yelled some (very) uncomplimentary things at her poor, elderly grandfather (“Yes!” He thinks. “Some proof that she’s not perfect!”). Then he actually meets said grandfather and ends up punching the sour bastard in the face 5 minutes after meeting him.  

(Truth is, she’s not perfect. Far from it. She’s just very determined to set a Good Example for her brother.)

[kaninchenzero]

oooooooooow my hand hurts