#OOH MY GOD IM GONNA HURL

[empty-dream]

Wangwang... That bastard. I wish he'd told me that sooner. I miss him.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil." *i am typing this at fuck o clock it will go up when im at work

attached (tng):

ok, the premise of this is basically every spirk fic ever, right...? "ooh, we accidentally have a telepathic connection and our feelings are revealed"

to get this out of the way, i like how much worf e riker e deanna was in the b-plot of this, even just circumstantially (i missed data though). i also think riker finally getting fed up with the aliens and giving them shit was really funny. riker is never mean to ANYBODY. i'm also glad he was relatively chill about picard being missing for once lol. like, in NO way were these assholes ready to enter the federation. not to agree with picard, but PART of a world can't enter. if you haven't mastered world peace you can't sit with us etc etc. not that i'm fully buying the propaganda of the federation as the ultimate good or that earth does somehow have world peace but whatever. even i know these guys weren't ready. what a fucking joke

frankly stunned this didn't lead to discussion about the affair baby wesley crusher. yes i know picard said he would never act on it. i don't care about that. i KNOW these people have had an affair baby. they're the type. he would knock her up and leave her high and dry. it's the kind of man he is. don't tell me there's no affair baby. i know what i know. there IS an affair baby!! i will die on this hill

actually, even though i dislike picard, i think sir patrick stewart is a v talented actor and i DO like him. i also really like beverly, so they managed to be charming a couple of times in this episode, mostly when they had a thought we couldn't hear and then started snickering about it

that said, i have no respect at all for jean-luc. the campfire conversation sucked. beverly was DEEPLY flattered and also in a little bit of a vulnerable position and he WAS LYING when he said he didn't feel that way anymore bc he tried to hit her up at the end of the episode. a man would have HELD HER, jean-luc. i would have held her. beverly crusher i would treat you so much better

this is insane bc i don't even have a crush on beverly. like genuinely. i only talk like this about sophie devereaux and brit marling characters. i just think it's outrageous her man doesn't treat her better. i almost had a fit when it came out he didn't like the breakfasts until beverly responded in kind also lol her saying croissant w the french accent

them getting sick when they split up was really funny. jean-luc, time to ruthlessly experience morning sickness. this is how it was after you left her high and dry post affair baby conception

the bait and switch at the end fucking killed me i love beverly making him ask and then turning him down GOOD FOR HER but i have no idea what motivated the entire thing. like, was the goal to get them together before the series ended? ok, why keep them apart? why show her pushing him through to safety at the expense of her own if she was gonna turn him down? why was she giving dtf vibes there at the end? like i was YELLING at him to go to her and then he did and she was like "actually nah." which was FUNNY and again good for her but what the fuck? i thought she wanted him. i just want her to be happy.

necessary evil (ds9):

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDD

i knew going in that this was an odo episode but AN ODO AND KIRA EPISODE??? swoon. oh my god she was the first person to give him his little constable nickname. HURL. KILL MEEEEE

actually, odo/kira and odo/quark people were BOTH getting fed during this ep. odo like yeah idc about quark but im gonna solve this murder case w extreme prejudice. i like both so i had a great time

every single mention of odo's dehumanization in the past makes me HOMICIDAL please treat him really niceys. i would kind of like to know what the cardassian neck trick is though. just not from odo

"i dont drink" fuckin hilarious. i think odo should shapeshift himself a digestive system so he can try food. um one that can digest stuff in 16 hours i guess or it would all just fall out when he gooped again. we tossed around the idea of chewing gum, since you just spit that back out eventually. but does he even have tastebuds, or just the approximation of them? his other senses seem to work ok........

the window in this acted SO sketchy like she was fake crying at her third dead husbands funeral after she just inherited a zillion dollars but she literally was innocent. she pointed at kira and was like girl she did it and we're like NO kira's innocent! and then kira is literally not innocent but shady sketchy widow is. incredible

kira with long hair my beloved. i would hate it if she had long hair in present day but it's perfect for past kira

ds9 looks SO BAD in the past. to have children running around and playing in it now is insane. you can really feel the difference between the cardassian occupation and Now so well in this episode, it's as striking to us as it would be to kira and odo

ohhh my god kira and odo. "will you ever trust me again" he's not even mad she killed that guy just mad that she lied about it. AUGHGHGHG

but when kira did something shady it was for a good cause. when odo was being shady he was indirectly working for the fucking cardassians. "choose a side" so true but he eventually chose kira's <3

i love deeply that he didn't try to fuck her. like it genuinely didn't even occur to him. ace king.

40s mystery style of this was so fun. odo narration is so funny bc like he doesnt wanna do it and his log is just one sentence bc he thinks its fucking stupid and then by the end of the ep hes like man am i supposed to be usign this thing as a diary?? girl dont worry about it james t kirk did the same fucking thing

final note: rom in this episode was amazing. i've never really given him more than a passing thought before this but him secretly being a fucking amazing thief was truly fantastic. sisko and odo good cop bad copping him was really funny too especially when you remember his son and sisko's son are besties. i would still rank the ferengi as my least favorite ds9 characters but i was pleasantly surprised with how often i laughed

TONIGHT: tng's "forces of nature" which sounds like. its gonna make me mad lol

[badsext]

Leap of Faith Part 4: Klaus x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

*Thank you to @misskittysmagicportal for reading my draft

Warnings: Danger? Excitement? LOL

___________________________________________

You hit the gas hard then eased up once you realized that no one was following. You opened the window to stick out your arm, catching the air with your open hand. Now twenty or so miles down the road, you were still tingling with the excitement of your recent crime.

Klaus lit a cigarette, took a drag, then handed it to you.“You hungry?,” he asked.

“Famished. What are you thinking? Pancakes? French Toast?”

Klaus had just opened his mouth to speak when an eager, smiling face popped up from the back seat.

“How about waffles? Prophet loves waffles.”

“Jesus Christ!,” you screamed and swerved, barely managing to pull over onto the shoulder without rolling into the ditch. Klaus let out an impressive scream of his own and looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

“Penny,” he gasped.

“Yes, Prophet?” She stared back wide eyed. Her long strawberry blond hair was a mass of tangles and her smile revealed some crooked teeth, but she was young, about twenty or so and pretty.

“Is she, part of the uh...?

“Yeah.”

“How long have you been back there?”

“I saw you hitch hiking. Tried to catch up, but then I saw you get in this car and I just kept walking in the same direction. ‘Ventually I saw the car in the parking lot of that restaurant motel and well, it was raining pretty hard. Door was unlocked so I hopped in and fell asleep under this blanket...” her words faded as something out the window caught her eye.

“Ooh, look. Wildflowers!,” she giggled with her nose pressed against the window.

“Yeah, um...Penny, why don’t you pick us some wildflowers while ‘the Prophet’ and I have a little chat.”

“Far out!” Penny bounced out of the car and frolicked through the tall grasses  on the side of the road.

“Klaus? Who is this she?” Did you...um? your brow arched with insinuation.

“God, no! Nothing like that! This girl is like a bad Penny, always showing up at the wrong time. Like when the IRS came to investigate us for tax fraud. Then when Shirley McLaine was thinking about joining...”

“Shirley McLaine is a follower?”

“No, not after Penny showed up and started talking!”

Penny bumped up against the passenger window presenting a fistful of jagged green stems with a few white and yellow buds on top. Klaus plastered on a big fake smile and give her an exaggerated double thumbs up. Seemingly encouraged, she turned back to collect some more.

“Well what are we going to do about her?,” you asked, watching her twirl around with her head tilted skyward. You paused looking at each other. “We can’t just leave her here.”

“Obviously not!”

“And you’re gonna tell her the truth,” you added just as Penny climbed back into the car with her bounty. You were about to drive away when you felt a tickle of invisible barbs stabbing your eyes and nose, causing them both to drip almost immediately.

“Oh my god.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah..ah...shoooo! Is that ragweed?,” you asked with your head in your hands.

“I don’t know. What do you think?,” she shoved the plants into the front seat.

“Ah shoo! ...Ah shoo!”

“Penny, get that shit outa here!”

“Yes Prophet,” she said, happily flinging them out the window.

You wiped your nose with your handkerchief and put yourself back together the best you could. Then as you started back on the road you nudged Klaus and motioned back to Penny.

“Penny,” he started. “You know I am a fraud, right?”

“Yes, of course. You told us. I am also a fraud.” She bowed her head reverently.

“I mean I’m not a Prophet...I lied.”

“Well, a lie is just the truth wearin’ a hat.”

“Is that one of mine?”

“No, it’s one of mine. You inspire me, Prophet.” She tilted her head with a doe eyed expression.

You shot Klaus a look of disapproval, but he just looked back with a shrug as if to say ‘I tried.’

“Penny, honey, do you have any family you can stay with?,” you asked, softly addressing her reflection in the rear view mirror. But before she could answer you noticed the cop car tailing you. Your heart started racing. “There’s a cop behind us.”

Klaus turned around.  “What are you doing?  Floor it!” Your foot hit the gas. Penny squealed with delight. The cop turned on his sirens and gave chase. The speedometer went from sixty to seventy to eighty RPMs. The car became difficult to control.  Penny was laughing hysterically and Klaus was practically hanging out the window. All you could focus on was the road in front of you and the cop on your tail. You missed the road signs warning of a detour up ahead.

Your field of vision shifted dramatically.  Your first thought was that something had happened to the windshield.  Then you glanced down and saw nothing but the road rushing by beneath the car. Your hands, your legs, the steering wheel, Klaus and Penny - all gone. You could hear them, feel your hands gripping the wheel, and your ass against the seat, but as far as your eyes were concerned they ceased to exist. 

The invisible front bumper smashed into orange cones, wooden signs, and caution tape. You screamed and slammed on the brakes as you barreled through a construction zone that ended in a sharp fifty foot drop. The tires finally skidded to a stop, momentum hurling you forward then slamming you back against the seat.

Here is Part 5

@elliethesuperfruitlover @helena-way07 @punknatch @bubblyani @sean-falco @super-unpredictable98 @iamsexytrash @ringpopdust @klauslovesdave @robertsheehanownsmyass @crabstick @firstpersonnarrator @the-freckled-luba @im-a-potato-sad-face @thestarangel @dopeybubbles @motherofanimals @maerenee930 @bblackwidowlw @bobateatae @notasofti @preppy-lolita @glasseswithapassion @fancyauthorzipperslime @nostalgiawings @ur-honey-child @salvador-daley @chipster-21

[rainy-knight]

Default

Jaune, who is parachuting to the waiting students with his newly upgraded shield. He lands better then last time, dusting himself off while a bunch of stunned children watch.

Jaune: "Hello everyone, it's nice to meet you! Sorry for being late, I'm sure you heard someone would be escorting you, well, that's me!"

Student B: "No effin way...is that-"

Student A: "Bruh, it's not just you! It IS him!"

Student D: "Someone grab my inhaler imma fuckn pass out, it's really him!"

Jaune: "Ah! Well, this is embarrassing, I didnt know you all knew of me! Well I should still say my name, its-"

Student C: "No needs, we ALL know who you are!"

Jaune: "E-Everyone?"

Student D: "Yeah *cough* Who doesnt?"

All Students: "You're FORTNITE MAN!"

Jaune: "Ah..."

Jaune: "..."

Jaune: "...hold up."

Student E: "I didnt think he was based off a real person? Sure the models off but I much prefer the real deal over the games model."

Student F: "Wig-"

Student G: "-Snatched."

Jaune: "Gods no, stop! I'm no-"

Student A: "Man how lucky are we, think I should ask for him to engrave his signature into my prosthetic hand?"

Student B: "Dude shut it you'll creep him out!"

Jaune: "Seriously stop, I'm not the-"

Student F: "Whatta-"

Student G: "-Snack"

Student C: "Hey, do the default dance."

Jaune: "Now hold on ju-"

Student D: "Holy shit *uses inhaler* why didnt I think of that! Yeah cmon, default dance!

Jaune: "Kids! For the love of, I'm NO-"

Student A B C: "Default Dance! Default Dance!"

Jaune: "Student, ple-"

Students D E F G: "Default Dance! Default Dance!"

Jaune: "..."

Every Student: "Default Dance! Default Dance!"

Jaune deflates with a big sigh, but a small smile creeps on his face.

Jaune: "Well...if you cant beat them, SHOW OFF!"

Jaune begins dancing blowing all of the students minds, their hollering echoing all through town.

* * *

Blake: "Hmm."

Yang: "Thinking of Vomit boy?"

Blake: "Mhmm, just hope everything's okay."

Yang: "AAAH, it's fine, our local knights a bit of a mother hen. I'm sure he'll wrangle up the kids and keep them in line and safe."

* * *

Jaune was currently flying a stolen aircraft being chased by flying grimm

Jaune: "HOLD ON TIGHT IM GONNA BARREL ROLL THIS BITCH!"

The aircraft twisted in the sky dodging a swarm of grim.

Student G: "Gonna-"

Student F: "-Hurl!"

Stendent D: "IVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE!"

* * *

Ren: "Still worried of Jaune, Nora?"

Ren watched as their hyperactive teammate paced back and forth, her pancakes gone cold.

Nora: "What if Jaune does something drastic like theft, escape from swarms of grim and, AND-"

Ren placed a hand on her shoulder: "Nora, it's okay to worry but have some faith in Jaune, this is a big step for him."

Nora nodded: "Yeah...yeah, faith. YEAH, for JAUNE-JAUNE!"

* * *

Student A: "FUUUUUCKING GOD DAMN!"

Jaune: "HOLD HIM DOWN IM GOING TO POP HIS ARM BACK IN PLACE!"

Behind them was a crashed airship and dissipating Grimm. All the students had ash on them and their cloths a bit torn.

Studen A, with tears in his eyes: "I swear! I SWEAR I'll never floss on the elderly again just make the pain go away!"

Pop

Student A: "AAAAAAaa actually that felt pretty good...do it again."

Stendent B: "Dude...no."

* * *

Oscar: "Jaune with a bunch of kids...I dont know. He wasn't afraid to slam me against a wall, I know I've put that past me but can he really connect with kids?"

* * *

Student C: "I think Violet has a crush on me."

Jaune: "Wig."

Student C: "But I love Peppermint."

Jaune : "Ooh big mood, but Peppermint loves Violet, huh?"

Student C: "Totes."

* * *

Qrow: "Wonder how the kids doing. Feels odd not having him near by, like a big sassing dog suddenly not in the room. Well I'm not with him, so I bet hes having a lucky week."

* * *

Tyrian: "Well well well, we cross paths once more, and OH! You brought little ones with you! Oh imagine the fun I'll have! Ha ha ha ha!"

Jaune: "This wont be like last time creep, SQUAD, what is the RED rule!!"

All students in a wave unleashed and activated their weapons one by one. In a flash Jaune had aura boosted all the students.

Students: "KILL BAD TOUCH MAN!!"

Tyrian: "O-oh...?"

* * *

Weiss: "Ruby please, he'll be fine!"

Ruby, vibrating in place: "I cant help it, hes so far away, I didnt have time to think about it on the train but, hes always been by my side in a way. And now hes all alone with strangers, how can I not panic a bit. He could be in trouble and there we couldnt respond in time. Oh Jaune, please be safe..."

* * *

Tyrian lay battered and broken while one students flossed on him, the rest forming a circle while T posing. Jaune was off to the side with tears in his eyes, recording the whole thing.

Jaune: "I'm so god damn proud of you idiots!"

[miyaameow]

Hi I have a request if you don't mind how about RFA+V+Seraen react to MC singing to Hamilton songs?

did i or did i not read the entire wikipage on the Hamilton musical AND listen to the Hamilton Sound Track on Youtube while writing this request?

YOU BET UR SWEET ASS I DID

NOW GET READY FOR SOME FUN

Yoosung:

MC: “Sir, I heard your name at PrincetonI was seeking an accelerated course of studyWhen I got sort out of sorts with a buddy of yoursI may have punched himIt’s a blur, sirHe handles the financials—”

he’s just staring at first BUT THEN HIS EYES START TO TWINKLE

“MC U WATCHED THE MUSICAL??”

he’s gonna start singing along~~

“… Graduate in two, then join the revolutionHe looked at me like I was stupidI’m not stupidSo how’d you do it?How’d you graduate so fast?”

did i choose a song with graduation because yoosung’s in uni? idk u tell me

Zen:

MC: “You say the price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to payYou cry in your tea which you hurl in the sea when you see me go byWhy so sad?Remember we made an arrangement when you went awayNow you’re making me madRemember despite our estrangement, I’m your man”

so when he first heard her sing he was like ??? MC???

AND THEN HE WAS LIKE

WHOA SHE WATCHED ANOTHER MUSICAL… that I wasn’t in? 

‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

but then he remembers THAT HIS MANAGER GOT HIM A NEW ROLE IN SOME NEW MUSICAL CALLED HAMILTON?

he has yet to see the script but HE;S EXCITED NOW!!1

“MC COME WATCH MY VERSION OF THE PLAY WHEN IT’S OUT”

Jaehee:

MC: “We are outgunned                           Outmanned                                        OutnumberedOutplanned                                      We gotta make an all out standAyo, I’m gonna need a right-hand man.”

SHE ENTERS THE ROOM LIKE THOSE ANIME CHARACTERS LIKE SLIDING INTO THE SCENE 

with an evil sneer

“MC WHAT IS THIS I HEAR?”

she s c r e a m i n g at the top of her lungs like omfg MUCH EXCITE I LOVE THIS MUSCIAL

Jumin:

MC: “I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days.I remember those soldier boys tripping over themselves to win our praise.I remember that dreamlike candlelight like a dream that you can’t quite place,but Alexander, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face.”

he slightly lowers his newspaper and does that comical glance up

*is surprised MC is singing*

*also low key doesn’t know where the song is from*

“MC can you dance and sing at the same time?”

MC: “OF COURSE”

707:

OH MY GOD????

KARAOKE PARTY TIME HELLO HI

YES MC I DID DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK NOW LET’S SING IT FOR THE ENTIRE NIGHT LONG

does he or does he not wear a dress i don’t know u choose

but he’s having a great time and won’t let MC go to sleep

“Ooh, there’s nothing like summer in the citySomeone in a rush next to someone lookin’ prettyExcuse me, miss, I know it’s not funnyBut your perfume smells like your daddy’s got moneyWhy you slummin’ in the city in your fancy heels?You searchin’ for an urchin who can give you ideals?”

Saeran:

MC: “Dear Theodosia what to say to youYou have my eyesYou have your mother’s nameWhen you came into the world you cried and it broke my heart”

he’s just staring

MC: “I’m dedicating everyday to youDomestic life was never quite my styleWhen you smile, you knock me out I fall apart and I thought I was so smart”

… still staring

*2 songs later*

“MC, will you sing the first song again?”

she turns around and is like kinda stunned at first cuz she kinda forgot that he was in the house listening to her sing but then 

V:

MC: “I hadn’t slept in a weekI was weak, I was awakeYou never seen a bastard orphanMore in need of a breakLonging for AngelicaMissing my wife…”

hE’S LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT

he just listens, jamming his head to her voice

also starts taking videos of MC doing the song

“AHHH JIHYUN WUT R U DOIN”

“I’m going to upload this to the messenger”

“DON’T U DARE”

ok idk y but im kinda obessed with adding .gifs to my HCs lmao

tell me if u don’t like them

#qualitycontent10/10wouldrecommend

(why am i like this)

~Cherry L.

Masterpost: click here

Askbox/Requests: click here

[kaikeidou-backstage-blog]

Record of Kaikeidou Servants (excerpts 11 through 15)

Excerpt from the Sea God Bookstore's "Record of Kaikeidou Servants:" a text whose author and editor are both unknown.

Negoro: CHEEERS! Sarasa: Cheeers!

Negoro: Man, I'm totally beat. I mean, geeze, I had to fight through a volley of danmaku every time just to ask them a few questions.

Sarasa: Wha~a? Are you telling me you didn't get permission from them?

Negoro: C'mon, that'd be such a pain in the butt. Talking back and forth, writing all those formal letters... it's way better to just get up in their face like "tell me about such-and-such if I win this fight," isn't it?

Sarasa: Is THAT why everyone was making those suspicious faces? C'mo~on, the Sea God Bookstore is gonna get su~uch bad reviews for this...

Negoro: Eh, not my problem.

Sarasa: Miss Kaidou's gonna get so~o mad at us again...

Negoro: What are you talking about? We're Kaidous too, aren't we?

Sarasa: Bringing out the old wordplay again, I se~ee.

Negoro: Hey, speaking of which-- let's do that thing again! It's been forever!

Sarasa: Huh? Who would we even be addressing, tho~ough?

***

Negoro: The people's gossip lasts for 75 days-- and stretches to 75 fathoms below!

Sarasa: We hold all the wonders of those depths in our very hands!

Negoro: We are scholars who pursue both the written and divine word!

Sarasa: A publishing company that births a vast sea of printed type!

Both: Together, we are...! The Sea God Bookstore's Kaidou branch!!

***

Negoro: We said it! We said our signature lines, Sarasa!

The Sea God Bookstore's Berliner Lady Negoro Kaidou (海堂 ねごろ)

Sarasa: C'mo~on, quit hugging me so tightly! You're making it hard to breathe!

The Sea God Bookstore's Blanket Girl Sarasa Kaidou (海堂 さらさ)

Negoro: Y'know, though. That last one we interviewed, uh... Miss Owari, right? The other sisters clammed right up when it came to her.

Sarasa: Oh, abo~out that. Miss Hananishiki, the next youngest, told me why. They were worried that their Eldest Sister would, like, punish them or something if they said too much, so they were all trying to avoid making any inconvenient comments~.

Negoro: Ah, that explains why they were all so cagey. I guess she's kind of intimidating, being the oldest and all, huh?

Sarasa: Both of us are ba~asically only children, so I guess we wouldn't really know. When you think about it, having nine whole sisters would be pretty amazing even for humans, right? Let alone mermaids.

Negoro: Oh, speaking of humans. I just remembered that some time ago, the Kaikeidou tried to invite some humans in so that they could make a bigger name for themselves. According to Lady Mikoto and Megumi and the like.

Sarasa: They said that our ocean isn't a place people visit very often, so at the rate things were go~oing, the whole ocean itself would disappear from Gensokyo.

Negoro: Wait, doesn't that mean we were in some pretty big trouble, too?!

Sarasa: Miss Kaidou didn't seem very panicked about it, though. When she was giving me the manuscript for the article, I asked her abo~out it, but she just said "nah, does that really matter?".

Negoro: Uh, Miss Kaidou's definitely not that laid-back?!

Sarasa: Whenever I go to talk to her about work, she's aa~allways casual.

Negoro: Whenever I send in my reports, she sends them back totally covered in red pen...

Sarasa: Anywa~ay, getting back on topi~ic...

Negoro: Sarasa, you can be real cold sometimes.

Sarasa: Miss Hananishiki was the one who said that all the sisters' abilities were the same, except for Miss Owari's.

Negoro: Oh, yeah. In the first place, Miss Owari was born as Lady Mikoto's immediate daughter, and all the other sisters were-- at least on paper-- born from Miss Owari. When you think about it, that would normally make Miss Owari the other nine sisters' mother...

Sarasa: But both Miss Owari and the other nine sisters were born from foam by Lady Miko~oto, so all ten of them are effectively siblings.

Negoro: Apparently, the sisters from Hananishiki on down were originally meant to be created as 'second attempts' if Owari failed, so they would've been born with divine powers like hers too. But since Owari learned how to wield her divine nature right off the bat, they just made her a bunch of regular sisters with no divinity instead.

Sarasa: Miss Kasumi the clam youkai knew a lo~ot about that part. She was the very first guardian of the Kaikeidou's front door, after all.

Negoro: And so, the nine other sisters aren't equipped with any special powers. They've got the same capabilities as average mermaids like us.

Sarasa: If I had to think of any bi~ig difference, I guess Miss Hananishiki is re~eally good at cooking? This one time, she let me have ju~ust a few of these green sturgeon eggs she whipped up.

Negoro: BWH-- Oh my god, why didn't I hear about that...?! WHY DIDN'T SHE INVITE ME TOOOOO?!

Negoro: Hey, now that I think about it... if the goddess of the entire sea came to Gensokyo, is the outside world, like, doing okay?

Sarasa: Oh, yeah, they're doing fi~ine. I heard a~all about it from Lady Mikoto.

Negoro: Huh? When, exactly?!

Sarasa: Lady Mikoto sa~aid that she's just one descendant of the sea gods from ancient lege~ends, and there's plenty of others besides her, so it's still okay out the~ere.

Negoro: Huh!

Sarasa: Y'see, Lady Mikoto used to be a sea goddess who lived in a bi~ig lake, with that special power of hers that can create life. But with just lakewater, she couldn't support all the creatures she'd created.

Negoro: 'Cause it was fresh water, yeah.

Sarasa: And as she was worrying about that, this one gi~irl-- the one named Lady Otohime, who were interviewing toda~ay-- she helped Lady Mikoto turn the lakewater into a fountain of life that could support a~all the sea creatures.

Negoro: And that's how this little "ocean" that we live in was born.

Sarasa: Ye~ep. But then, since they made the lake wa~ay too big in the process, Gensokyo was about to like, burst at the seams...! So that one lady-- the Hakurei shrine maiden, I think? She came down here and told them to stop.

Negoro: Aaaah! I remember that part! I was THERE for it!

Sarasa: Huh? Did something happe~en?

Negoro: Not just SOMETHING! That Hakurei maiden or whatever slapped me right outta the water on her way down!

Sarasa: ...Oh~h, yeah, you did have that big bump on your head that one ti~ime.

Negoro: See, all of a sudden it sounded like there was this big commotion up on the surface, right? And I was like "ooh what's happening...?" and I went on up to look, right? When suddenly, BAM! Some what's-her-face cannonballs down in here, and as soon as she sees me, she starts hurling amulets and whacking me with a giant ritual rod! ...And then, later, someone else started throwing weird stars that tasted like candy, a-and, and shooting huge lasers and stuff... *snf* a-and... *sniff* and on t-top of everything else... there, there were! There were these, like, nuclear kaboom things, a-and... *gross sobbing*

Sarasa: Oh~h, there, there. You did your best out there, Negoro. I know it must have been re~eally scary...

Negoro: *snrf.* .....And then, like, a little after that is when the ocean shrank back down and stuff. Was that 'cause of-- what did you call her? The Hack-and-Slash shrine maiden?

Sarasa: Hakurei shrine maiden.

Negoro: Yeah, her. ...Okay, wow, we're getting off-topic. So, basically, the reason we, Miss Kaidou and the Bookstore, and the Kaikeidou itself are all here, is because of Lady Mikoto and that Lady Otohime you mentioned?

Sarasa: Yep, that's basically it. When we head over there next time to give them a finished copy of the book, maybe we should give them something to show our thanks?

Negoro: Hm. What kind of present can we even give them...? Like, they're gods, but we're just youkai, y'know?

Sarasa: How about we bring them some of our scales?

Negoro: Uh. That seems kind of... blood sacrificey.

Negoro: Although, the Kaikeidou and its sea being created are what led to us and the Sea God Bookstore existing, so I guess just writing this book is a thank-you in its own way?

Sarasa: Yeah, you could put it like that.

Negoro: We can't dance or fight like the Kai sisters, either. I'm so jealous of all those cool games they get to play...

Sarasa: Negoro, you want to fight?

Negoro: Well, I wanna play-fight.

Sarasa: Why not play-fight with Miss Kaidou, the~en?

Negoro: You really think she'd deign to play with us? Plus, there's her ability to worry about too... even if we had a proper match, it'd probably end with her reading every single one of my moves.

Sarasa: Then... how about me?

Negoro: You're way too slow. It wouldn't even be a competition.

Sarasa: Aww...

Negoro: Hey, now that I think about it. When I went to do interviews at the Kaikeidou this one other time, there was this kind of weirdly dramatic atmosphere, right? And everyone was in such a hurry that I couldn't get any info out of them at all. I think they said there was an intruder there...

Sarasa: Really~?

Negoro: I never met whoever it was, but apparently some super-strong youkai broke in, and Minamo and Suzuri were all sprawled out on the ground...

Sarasa: Sounds really dangerous.

Negoro: Well, I got as far as the entry hall and then high-tailed it outta there. What do you think it was, though?

Sarasa: I wo~onder... Maybe it was, like, a really big-name youkai~? Y'know, like the ones we've heard rumours about lately.

Negoro: A really big one... well, you've got your nurarihyons, your orochis... oh, not to mention the kuda--

Sarasa: Hey, Miss Kaidou's back!

Negoro: Miss Kaidou...!

Production:

Sea God Bookstore: "Kaidou" ・A bookstore that produces books detailing key events in the deep seas of fantasy. Deep, deep down, at depths that humans can't hope to reach, they keep a quiet collection of books found nowhere else; records of mysteries more distant than the stars. The only ones who know whether these events are fantasy or reality are the various "studios" lined up within the Bookstore's walls.

・"Kaidou" is one of the studios within the Sea God Bookstore, run by one of the Bookstore's managers, Minogiku Kaidou. Its employees all receive the surname "Kaidou," based on Minogiku's studio name. The other studios mainly do archival work, but "Kaidou" is one of the few that publish books and magazines. They serialize magazines, journals and tabloids, compile, edit and publish full-fledged books, and so on.

Authors:

Sarasa Kaidou (海堂 さらさ) ・A journalist employed at "Kaidou" in the Sea God Bookstore. She is Minogiku Kaidou's direct subordinate, and in this book, she conducted the interviews for the six elder Kai sisters. One of the mermaids native to the ocean surrounding the Kaikeidou; after coming into existence in Gensokyo due to certain particular circumstances, she was adopted by Minogiku Kaidou. It seems she has some past connection to the outside world...?

Negoro Kaidou (海堂 ねごろ) ・A journalist employed at "Kaidou" in the Sea God Bookstore. She came to work at the Bookstore with Sarasa's help, and is currently employed as one of Minogiku Kaidou's subordinates. She conducted the interviews for the four youngest Kai sisters. Hails from the ocean surrounding the Kaikeidou; were it not for her job at the Bookstore, she would be like any other mermaid who swims carefree in the sea.

etc...

Editor:

Minogiku Kaidou (海堂 水乃菊) ・The administrator of the Sea God Bookstore's "Kaidou" studio; within the studio itself, she serves as the chief editor. She's a mermaid with a keen sense for information, which she makes full use of to produce the various serial publications she oversees. On top of her deep craving for information, she makes a strong habit of guessing what people are thinking, so she's often mistaken for a satori; however, she's 100% mermaid. As can be inferred from how she gives the Kaidou studio name to all her direct subordinates, she's deeply possessive in addition to knowledge-hungry. If you're foolish enough to spark her interest in you, she may very well steal all the information you have. Prepare thyself.