#ONE OF THESE DAYS ILL WATCH THE OTHER MOVIES BUT HE WILL FOREVER ONLY BE HOW HE IS TO ME FROM THE STAGE MUSICAL

[zero-braincells-left]

you guys don’t UNDERSTAND. i am one insane (divine) vision away from making the worst, most self-indulgent fic ever.

let’s just say. The descendants brainrot is getting to me.

problems with this are Ive ONLY watched the first movie, I don’t even remember it, and all my ideas on the character and plots are from the stage musical version

additional problem. my character of choice to be insane about . Is Chad Charming.

im pretty sure his relationship with audrey ends up not. Idk. In l8r movies. But I don’t give a fuck. one of these days im going to finally crack and write the worlds most self indulgent, out of character (for everyone involved) fic about asexual chad 🙏

[todayisafridaynight]

reminiscing on the period where i didnt know sawashiro was modeled after ttm and the second i learned and embraced that it 1000% altered the way i drew him These Are Not The Same Bitch

[dullahandyke]

new compromise where i stop myself from using up all my blank dvds by taking a break from burning when i havent watched all the shit ive already burned (thus far its 3 assorted movies n most of cowboy bebop) and i theorise this will indeed work :+1: been getting into watching tv more too insrtead of falling down the fanfic hole (ao3 you need to keep outaging its vital for my mental health) so im watching shit yippee. this isnt stopping me from adding more n more shows to qbittorrent tho

[mingisongs]

𓇢𓆸 solace in us

ateez! song mingi x reader ᡣ𐭩

summary; your boyfriend comforts you thru health concerns and fertility issues

pairing; song mingi x afab!reader

word count; 2.2k

tags; comfort, fluff, grief

trigger warnings; infertility, reproductive illness !!

notes; personal to me — ♡

ᡣ𐭩

my dream had always been to be a mother.

and after meeting mingi, that desire grew into an aching need. the thought of us blossoming into such a testament of our love as that filled me with not only joy for my own dream, but euphoria at the thought of getting to be the person who makes him a father. he was young, i was young, but i had never met anyone with as much love to give as he did, and i felt in my heart that he could and would be the best parent.

he was aware that i was no longer on any form of contraceptive, and while we weren’t purposefully trying to conceive, we weren’t actively trying to prevent it. it wasn’t really a thought for either of us, and the way we were intimate was never careless nor with the sole intent to get pregnant. but we both shared the idea that we wanted a family together in the future, and my greatest hope was that i would be able to surprise him with the news that he was going to be a father.

i sat beside him on my couch, my chin resting against my knees as my thighs were brought up to my chest. he was sleepily watching the movie we’d put on an hour prior, but my drowsy eyes could only focus on him. he was unaware of my staring at him, and i giggled quietly, causing his attention to turn to me.

“what?” he asked, blissfully ignorant to the fact that i hadn’t been paying a bit of attention to the TV. his bare, clear skin without makeup adorning his eyelids, playful concern spreading across his face as i struggled to answer. i shook my head, unsure of why the bliss i felt was causing me to laugh.

“i just love you,” i said softly.

his bashfulness caused the soft pink of his cheeks to darken, while i knew he wasn’t shy about his affection, but just flustered when i professed my adoration for him unprompted. he reached out, pulling me against him, and i snuggled closer into his chest. his scent was so comforting, welcoming, him. i hated the way that his presence made me sleepy from how safe i felt, because i wanted nothing more than to stay awake 24/7 showering him with kisses and praise.

he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “i love you more than anything.” another kiss, his lips against my hair longer this time. “anything.”

we fell asleep on the couch that night.

•

the next day, i was sat on the bathroom floor. i was struggling to keep quiet, but devastation was debilitating me, and stifling my sobs was becoming more and more difficult by the second. mingi was still here at my apartment, but he was in the other room, and in his usual fashion i knew he was waiting patiently impatient for me to return.

it was the fourth time my late period came with not one, but two negative pregnancy tests, and the knowledge i had of my cycle had made it almost impossible for the timing to have been wrong. i wrapped the plastic tests in toilet paper and shoved them down into the trash can, and stood up to wipe my eyes. splashing my face with cold water, wiping my nose, trying to convince myself it was okay, nothing helped. every time i felt a sliver of peace, it was broken with the reality of the circumstances. it took forever to catch my breath and gain the courage to return to mingi’s side.

when i opened the bathroom door, however, he was standing directly behind it, staring at me with a worry and fear i had never seen in his eyes before.

“what’s wrong?” he asked. “you were crying?”

i felt paralyzed, my blood frozen cold in my veins. we were both too nervous to speak.

he finally reached out, taking my hand in his. “please, please tell me.”

i didn’t want to speak, it felt as though i couldn’t. “i… i’m sorry for worrying you —”

he reached up to wipe a tear from under my eye. “talk to me. that’s what i’m here for.”

“my… my period was late,” i stuttered out. “but i took two tests and they were negative.” my voice broke at the end of my sentence. i hated that i felt so broken up over this. his love and his presence was more than enough, my happiness wasn’t reliant on being a mother.

“oh,” he pulled me into him, breathing out a sigh of relief and sadness. “baby, it’s okay.”

“no, it’s not,” i sniffed. “i feel so broken.”

“you’re not broken.” he rubbed my back and he squeezed me tighter. “you are so perfect.”

i cried into his shirt for a while longer, and as perfect as he is, he was there with me until i got through it.

•

my new doctor had ordered testing. they wouldn’t have been as concerned, if symptoms outside of not getting pregnant hadn’t also been present. bloodwork, ultrasounds, MRIs. the results were all to be discussed with my doctor at once, and i waited anxiously as the days passed before i met with her.

mingi clutched my hand, rubbing his fingers on my skin reassuringly, my knee bouncing rapidly. i had protested him being present for this appointment, yet he expressed the need to be there for me, and while he respected me immensely, i decided that his accompaniment would be beneficial in the long run. and i was right, as the news delivered by my doctor made my brain pull the parachute cord, and i was outside my body for the entirety of our conversation.

if he was upset, he masked it well, as he held my hand and took care of speaking to the doctor on my behalf. it was hard for me to cry in the presence of medical professionals, so i was frozen, the lump in my throat aching so bad i thought i might throw up. the doctor’s professionalism came across as apathetic, though the sadness in her eyes at having to share the results with me was apparent. bicornuate uterus, external endometrial adhesions, fallopian blockage, hydrosalpinx… she couldn’t fathom how the pain was tolerable for me, or how these things hadn’t been caught sooner. she was apologetic. she said she was sorry the health care system and medical industry had failed me. she said we could discuss other treatment options at a later date when i was ready. for now i was being put on a form of birth control, hormonal drug, contraceptive to help the symptoms and shrink the growths.

back in the car, mingi held me, and i cried.

•

when we returned home, my heart broke at my inability to be present for mingi, but i went straight to bed. i laid down, my blinds closed and the lights out, and covered myself with my blanket. it was cold in my apartment, beginning to rain outside, and i knew that the cool air would be a comfort as my tears burned my face.

the hum of the air conditioning overpowered the sound of footsteps, and i was startled by mingi joining me in bed.

“you don’t have to -”

“i want to,” he interrupted.

his arms slid around me from behind, pulling me close into being his little spoon, and he held me tight, resting his hand under my shirt, right on my lower belly between my hips.

as soon as his warm fingers spread across my skin, i couldn’t stop the tears. he pressed a kiss to my back, his forehead against my shoulder. “i wish i could take your pain away.”

i sniffed. “i’m glad that you don’t have to.”

his lips were warm against my skin, his voice soft and quiet. “baby, i hate to see you in pain.”

i struggled to speak. “i won’t be able to make you a father.”

i felt him take a shaky breath, and he gently grabbed my arm to turn me over and face him. he had taken so much initiative and cared for me so much in the short while that i’d been struggling, so i didn’t resist when he wanted to speak to me directly. i just didn’t want to see his face knowing i was causing him to cry.

but when i looked at him, he was giving me the saddest smile, tears welling in his eyes. “and i won’t be able to make you a mother,” he said, touching my face gently. “it’s not your fault. i wish so badly that i could give you the same.” he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “but we have so much time and so many options.”

i felt unworthy of such love and kindness. “it makes me feel so worthless,” i said. “i knew something was wrong. i just didn’t expect it to be that bad. i didn’t expect my body to be that fucked up.”

he traced his thumb along my cheekbone to wipe a tear away. “it’s not fucked up. nothing about you is fucked up. it is not your fault.” he kissed my nose. “today, i love you more than i ever have. and there is nothing worth more than your love to me.”

•

he wasn’t in bed when i woke up the next day. i figured he had stepped out briefly for something, but i didn’t question or worry. he had a habit of leaving without waking me if he thought he’d be back before i got up for the day.

i checked the time, though, and it was almost noon. i sleep a lot when i’m sad. and i sleep so deep. i could barely keep my eyes open.

mingi held me all night, until i was able to relax. my heart still ached so heavily in my chest. but the panic was gone. i was left with exhaustion and absolute despair. it wasn’t because i felt like my purpose was to be a mother, or that my happiness relied on it, or that i was failing mingi. it was because i was sick, my body was broken, and i had a chronic disease inside of me that made my future unclear and scary.

that was the worst of it. the infertility was just the icing on that cake.

i heard the front door open, and got tense at the same time that i felt comfort from mingi’s return. he was quiet as he moved about the kitchen, his movements gentle and silent for — what i KNEW was — my sake. he would’ve parted the seas for me, had i asked.

i didn’t hear him walking towards the bedroom, yet i heard the sound of a small bell jingling, and stayed still to listen closer. it couldn’t have been his keys, but i was unsure as to what it could’ve been otherwise. i hadn’t heard a sound like it before.

just as i sat up, a little gray and white kitten with a bell hanging from her collar came running into the room.

my mouth immediately fell open in shock, throwing the blankets off of me to join the kitten on the floor. i got to my knees to get a closer look, and behind the kitten followed my sweet mingi.

i looked up at him in awe, and he grinned happily.

“you didn’t,” i said. he joined me on the floor, crossing his legs, sitting right beside me.

he lifted the kitten up and set it in my lap, and i held my hands up, unsure what to do, but the little baby curled up on my lap and stared up at me, bright blue eyes looking calm and curious.

“it’s a girl,” he said. “i had been wanting to surprise you for a while but… after yesterday, i figured it was the right time.”

“oh, mingi,” i whispered, reaching down to pet her. she immediately began purring and leaning into my touch. seeing her up close, i realized her collar was a pink bow, the little gold bell jingling quietly with every movement. i looked back at mingi. he was looking back at me with such love, but also waiting intently to hear about how i felt. “i love you so much. i don’t know what to say.”

“are you happy?” he asked, his concern for my wellbeing so endearing i wanted to melt.

i nodded, reaching out to pull him in, and kiss him softly on his lips. “i am so happy. this is the most amazing thing you could’ve done for me.” i took his face in both hands, looking him in the eyes. “i love you.” another kiss.

he laughed quietly, kissing me back.

“so many things are uncertain,” he said. “and all we can do is wait it out. but i hope that one thing you never question is how much i love you. how in love with you i am.” he reached out to pet the kitten in my lap. “and now, she can be a testament to that.”

he became engrossed in petting her, talking to her sweetly, but i couldn’t look away from him. he was so loving, and so giving, and so perfect. it would take me an infinite amount of lifetimes to ever begin to repay him and it still wouldn’t be enough. i would be forever indebted to his selfless devotion, yet all he asked for in return was my presence. my affection. my love.

and song mingi will forever own my heart. ♡

[tmrwsuns]

(𐙚⋆.˚) what dating the xikers members feels like

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ [ot10 x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 1.4k w. curse words fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

ᯓ dating minjae feels like a hug to the soul. it is being taken care of unconditionally, being pampered and always lifted up. it is encouraging words and boosts of confidence. unlimited support and positive energy towards whatever it is that you want to do. its having someone who is mature enough to be there in the hard times and silly enough to make those better. its being part of a family, coming home to someone who will receive you with open arms.

ᯓ dating junmin feels like a warm drink on a cold day. its having someone that will be unconditionally on your side. its being understood and cared for like never before. its walking around hand in hand while you talk about silly things. its always knowing youre a priority. its loud laughs and silly tantrums. its dance lessons where you fail miserably. its random little things that reminded him of you from his travels. its being comfortable and taken care of.

ᯓ dating sumin feels like being seen. sumin is the impersonation of the phrase “being loved is being known”. it is having paintings of you all around his studio. its late night drives with blasting music and loud screaming along with the lyrics. its having someone that will pay attention to every little detail of you and keep those seared in his mind forever. its never having to worry about being bored because you always have someone to be crazy with. 

ᯓ dating jinsik feels like laying on a field of flowers on a hot day. its refreshing and beautiful. its being appreciated like you’ve never been before. its never doubting your worth. its constantly being showered in praise. its cradling each others faces. its silly gestures made at each other from across the room. its being each others support system. its feeling lucky every time you're around each other. its knowing you're always the person he looks for in a room.

ᯓ dating hyunwoo feels like finding your best friend. its long yapping sessions about anything and everything. its “dont cry because ill cry”s. its endless fun and peace at the same time. its having someone who will always be there to humble you but also always there to lift you up. its late nights sitting on a rooftop talking about your wildest dreams. its being seen even when not understood.  its having the most loyal partner you could desire.

ᯓ dating junhoon feels like unmatchable peace. its laying on the couch reading in comfortable silence. its not having to be loud to have fun. its never doubting his love because his actions talk more than a million words. its feeling unique and fortunate to be the one he lets himself shine to. its laughing at his stoic expressions. its ranting to someone who really listens. its seeing his small smiles whenever you walk into a room.  its knowing that every moment is special.

ᯓ dating seeun feels like laughs hid behind eyerolls. its having someone that completely matches your freak. its humbling his ego even when you know hes right. its his clothes covering you whole. its being able to completely let yourself go. its laughs that lead to tears and tears that lead to the warmest hugs. its being teased and watching the love in his eyes whenever he speaks. its being always defended through absolutely anything. its “hey, only i can say that”s. its never having a dull moment.

ᯓ dating yujun feels like hugging the sun. its warmth on your chest. its loud laughs and the brightest smiles. its drawing with chalk on your sidewalk. its running up a hill to have a picnic in the sunlight. its being pampered and taken care of. its sharing snacks and bragging about the fact that he only shares with you. its getting to see him be truly himself when with you. its fawning over his smile and making him shy. its having someone who will always be by your side. its feeling the warmth of the sun just enough to not burn. its watching movies while cuddled up. its having a yapping partner and someone who will always listen to you.  its getting to be the one who receives the prettiest smiles. its being supported and loved unconditionally.

ᯓ dating hunter feels like a door being opened for you. its being the most important person in his life. its late night convenience store runs. its piggy back rides whenever your feet hurt. its feeling his body completely engulf you when he hugs you. its giggles after hand size comparisons. its kisses on the back of your hand. its being treated like a princess at every given moment. its knowing you have someone who will always support you. its late night talks. its hearing the story about when he fell in love with you every sleepless night. 

ᯓ dating yechan is knowing you have found your forever. its staying up all night playing video games. its laughing while being chased around the house. its doing the thing where you're on opposite sides of the table waiting to see who runs first. its shy touches and experimentation. its being each others first choice in everything. its having someone youre always comfortable with. its teaming up against other people. its being shown off everywhere. its being felt proud of.

★ blue's corner ;; first post kinda terrified.... anyways !! this is my input to the criminally low amount of xikers content out there ★ taglist ;; @tiramisumin ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @anitalenia

© tmrwsuns, 2024

[whumpdrivethru]

Hi can I gut uhhh…whumper getting sick of whumpee’s fighting spirit and drugging them w smth that’ll leave them dazed and euphoric?

Your server takes no responsibility for subversion of expectations :]

Cw: drugging, captivity, mentions of death, minor sexual implications

Whumper sighed. They hated this. But they had to. They simply had to.

Whumpee's behavior was getting out of hand.

When the two got together, it wasn't much of an issue. In fact, the prospect of having their own little personal serial killer was rather exciting, and they made sure to do everything right.

Whumpee would never hurt them. They knew this. A yandere would kill anyone who hurt their beloved.

But it was clear they were getting closer to that line each day. Each day that went by where Whumpee would try so desperately to escape, to book it out the front door once Whumper got home, weapons somewhere on their body.

Perhaps Whumper needed to rethink this relationship to begin with, but… they couldn't bring themself to. Whumpee was perfect, absolutely stunning, and their capacity for violence was a little endearing considering it was always always out of dedication to their relationship.

They had notified their friends as well as Whumpee's boss that Whumpee had simply come down with a nasty illness that Whumper was taking care of.

As they watched Whumpee kneeling by the reinforced windows, looking out like a lonely dog… they weren't exactly wrong.

“You're staring, darling,” Whumpee said without even looking away.

The blush spread quick, “Sorry…”

Whumpee looked up at them, longingly. “Just one day. I'll be good, I promise. No killings-”

Whumper rolled their eyes, “We both know that's a lie.”

Whumpee glared at their lover with a scowl. “I will get out at some point or another. You can't contain me forever.”

Whumper looked down at them, “You will get out, that's true. You'll only be getting out once I’m certain that you won't kill Friend over the disagreement we had a month ago.”

They'd learned pretty early to keep their complaints low. Whumpee could respect most of their wishes, but sometimes their nature would override their need to keep Whumper happy.

They would only complain about petty things where Whumpee wouldn't waste their energy, or if it was something serious where they really didn't care if the person lived or died.

They'd slipped up a bit ago. And now they had a rabid dog in their house, clawing at the walls to get out.

Whumpee practically growled. “I don't want to hear that bitch's name ever again after what he called you.”

Whumper let out an exasperated sigh. This was not something they were willing to entertain again. Instead, they walked off to the bedroom to leave Whumpee to their sulking.

They picked up a bottle that was for emergency uses only. Usually only when they had wanted to spice up bed time. The liquid inside would make the person who drank it rather pliant, more easy-going and dazed.

Normally, it was just for when they had agreed to try something new but the one on the receiving end was tense.

Now…

They looked at the bottle.

There wasn't really any other way to keep Whumpee happy.

Whumper sighed. They hated this. But they had to. They simply had to.

Making their way to the kitchen, they started on dinner. Whumpee snuck up behind them, startling them a bit with a hug from behind while they watched their love cook.

They had to shove Whumpee off with a laugh so they could take it out of the oven once it was done.

Whumper looked at the cups that had yet to be filled, “what do you want to drink?”

“I think just some milk will do for me.”

They nodded, “Okay I'll get you some. How about you go pick out a movie for us to watch tonight?”

“You got it,” Whumpee responded before giving them a small kiss, picking up the plates, and happily going to the living room.

Whumper took a breath, filling one of the cups with milk and adding in some of the drug. This would be the first time it was ever used without agreement.

They poured themself some water and sat down next to Whumpee on the couch. They put the milk down on the coffee table.

Whumpee pressed play before taking a swig of their milk.

They blinked. They made a weird face, before it turned into a slightly relaxed smile. They drank a bit more before putting it down and picking up their food.

Their eyes were slightly glazed.

“You know, dinner's really good tonight…”

Whumper turned their attention to the movie, “Is it now?”

“Yeah…” Whumpee responded. “It's almost like… I'm floating. I really like it here.”

They saw their chance. And they took it, “And you won't keep trying to escape?”

Whumpee thought for a bit. Then shook their head. “No. I really like it here… I really like you,” they gave a dopey smile.

Whumper looked down at their glass of water, “Well I should hope so.”

Their eyes trailed over to their lovely little serial killer.

A sad smile split their face, “We're dating after all.”

You have been served by Anath :]

[yeonmuse]

Upcoming drop snippet….

And Then There Were None | Scream Au | The Boyz

Pairing | Ot8

genre | Slasher Series, Scream au

Summary | "Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!"

A town of 500, a friend group of 12 , 3 dead bodies found and a killer on the lose. Things aren't as they should be in the little town of Springsville, and when a string of murders start knocking off students one by one things don't seem to get any better.

WARNING ‼️ This book includes mature content such as sex, murder, blood, alcohol, use of marijuana and other topics that may be sensitive for a younger or easily triggered audience.

Sneak peak incoming

I watched you smile as I observed the two of you converse from a far. The sudden flirting seems to put you in such a good mood. I can tell by the way you smile at each other when they tell you jokes or simply ramble on and on about sweet nothings. That feeling won't last long, I won't allow you the simple joys of smiling and laughing with anyone else. From this day forward you'll see what it's like to be alone, ill name sure you look at only me.

Minsoo sat silently on his couch, eyeing the clock every now and then as if the time would suddenly move faster when his eyes set on it. However it simply stayed the same, the silence for him was unbearable as he awaited the girl's friends' arrival. He and Yn had made plans to meet one another tonight. He was more than aware that she wasnt into him as he was her but that didn't stop him from pursuing her. After all she was a hidden gem within their campus, the only girl who didn't seem to crave his attention, he liked that she didn't like to bask in the spotlight. For all Yn cared she could be invisible to the human eye all her life and she wouldn't exactly give a shit. Sighing as he pushes himself from the couch Minsoo makes his way into the kitchen, popping a handful of the no longer fresh popcorn into his mouth he leans against the counter and stares out at his back porch. As if on cue, a sudden ring of the doorbell pulls him from his thoughts earning a sigh of relief from him.

"Thank god i've been waiting forever.'' his smile disappears from his face as he opens the door only to find no one on the other side.

"I swear to god if those little shits from next door are playing with our doorbell again.'' rolling his eyes in frustration he shuts the door, an annoyed sigh escaping his lips at the sudden drop in excitement.

"She should be here by now.'' flopping down back onto his same place on the couch he reaches out for his phone, only to his surprise rather than him dialing up the girl that had been occupying his thoughts, someone else had been calling him. As he answered the phone there was a glimmer of hope in his mind, hope that it had been Yn calling to let him know she was on her way.

"Hello?" his breath caught in his throat as he waited to hear her voice on the other end of the call.

"Looks like she couldn't make it after all.'' a raspy somewhat discomforting voice sounded on the other end of the call, the stranger's words earning a scoff from Minsoo who had already been frustrated with the girl not having shown up yet.

"Who the hell is this? Changmin i swear if you're pulling some kind of prank try harder next time, I don't have time for your games right now dude seriously.'' Annoyed, he hangs up the phone and starts to dial the number the girl had written for him on a torn piece of paper. Mid dial he received yet another call, this time the annoyance more prominent in his voice as he spoke to the stranger on the other end.

"You know it's not good manners to hang up on someone mid conversation.'' the person on the other line spoke tauntingly as if they knew the ways to get under his skin.

"Look man whoever the hell you are you're really pissing me off here, i don't know if you find your little joke humorous but you don't hear me laughing ,find someone else to call and fuck off.'' this time as his finger moved to hang up once more the voice on the other end spoke words that made his blood run cold.

"Now now Minsooi wouldn't hang up the phone if i were you not unless you want pretty little Yn to come over to find your guts splattered on the ground and your stomach turned inside out.'' Frozen in his place Minsoo fell silent.

"What nothing to say, smart ass?" the stranger chuckles

"Who the fuck is this, i don't know what kind of sick joke you're playing at here but if you don't quit it here and now i'll have the police here in seconds tracing these calls.'' Minsoo stood from the couch making his way to the front door and glanced out the peephole, this time checking for the girl's arrival with a lot more urgency.

"By the time you get them here your body would be on full display for your entire neighborhood to view including those little shit neighbors of yours." That last line caused goosebumps to spread over Minsoo’s arms, knowing he had just spoken those words about the kids next door moments prior.

"We're gonna play a game, you guess where i'm hiding and i give you a fair head start, does that sound like a good deal? I'd make a decision quick because the more time you waste the less time you have to get yourself out of this.''

"Fuck you." He spat, venom laced within his words. This time he was quick to hang up the phone, he'd be damned if he let some nameless loser play around with him with something as simple as a phone call. Quickly dialing up the police he opened his door to leave the home, part of his mind fearing there could have actually been someone there. As he opened the door he was met by a hooded figure with a white mask hiding the identity of he or she who wore it. Minsoo was given no time to put up a fight, as soon as his foot stepped past the door frame he was stabbed. As if two or three stabs weren't enough the hooded figure continued on and on until he saw the life drain from the man's eyes completely.

"Looks like you lost."

Meanwhile on the other line Minsoo had already dialed 911.

[wolfpawzjakey]

The ghost of Jason who decides to stay with Percy.

kinder, but still creepy - your lover's ghost doesn't want to kill you or hurt you, he just wants to be with you, even if by all laws he is supposed to be in hades.

Percy always feels Jason - a fleeting touch on his cheeks, shoulders and arms, a light breeze or a draft walking in his apartment, the way the electricity hums, a shadow too human to be a play of light that is always next to him, the feelings of familiar but cold hugs at night.

Percy has watched horror movies, he knows what to do... but he doesn't want to part with Jason either, and neither does Jason with him.

Oog anon, this one.

I was thinking about ghost Jason recently. In many ways and senses. I like this idea a lot.

Jason’s ghost haunting Percy, and Percy really struggles with it. A memory of his dead lover, a memory of something he could’ve changed if he had just been there, prophecy be damned. It wasn’t his fault, but to him it was. Having Jason surround him as a ghost, always there, leaving his body cold and shuddering as he laid beside Percy, was an unending mental battle. Jason was attached to Percy, stuck to him with a tie that he couldn’t break and Percy had to struggle to find comfort in the sharp and stark anguish he felt by having Jason here again. Because he couldn’t mourn properly while having his dead boyfriend follow him around, he couldn’t mourn properly when he noticed how the wind would caress him gently or the electricity in his house would flicker whenever Percy said him name, a reminder of “I am here and will be here forever”. But Percy moves through it, the motions are harder, his days are longer, because Jason is here, he’s with him, in ways that matter but these ways can’t make up for what he’s missing. He finds comfort through Jason’s subtle reminders though, slowly but surely they make him.

The others notice subtle differences about Percy since Jason’s ghost has found him, but Nico is the first to bring it up, because of course he can see Jason, not that Jason’s really paid him much mind, too focused on Percy. Nico warns Percy against allowing Jason’s presence to stay, he knows neither would be happy, but he knows it would only kill Percy, one way or another. And knowing that, Percy doesn’t care, but Jason’s ghost, he shifts solemnly and as usual, wordlessly.

This issue in the air now, Jason has been quieter than usual, Percy’s place is warmer and he doesn’t get to feel the cold presence around him as often, not unless he begs and cries. He’s desperate, Jason’s ghost is ill at ease. Jason may be dead, may want with his whole might to be with Percy, but he doesn’t want that by the means of Percy dying as well. He wants to be back with Percy when time says it’s right, not because he’s selfish and not ready to let go and wait that time out. But in the moments he keeps his distance, watching from a point away in the house, where he isn’t sucking Percy’s energy from his body just to be able to announce his present, he can’t help but break his own rules when Percy’s eyes well up with tears. He folds instantly, the contact point between Percy’s body and his incorporeal form buzzing with energy that makes him more powerful, but sucks that power right from Percy’s soul.

The two dance this dance, their wants to be together even after Jason’s death stronger than anything, but Nico puts his foot down for them, Percy looks like hell, he’s exhausted all the time and easily sick. The teen is rough about it all but is easy to give solutions. Sure, these solutions are taxing on him, but he won’t die that’s for sure, and his strength in his power has only been getting better, letting Percy see and speak to Jason on some occasion unless Jason so decides to reincarnate. It’s a save for them both, as uneasy it is to let Jason go, they both go for this. Somehow an easy out but also the hardest thing to do for them.

-

I’ve read a few fics of the dead haunting their past lovers in good ways, either visibly or not, I’ve always really liked them. Plus the ability to choose if they stay with their people or move on to the other side it’s so 😭😭😭

Thank you for your ask anon!

[adoremexxs]

Rui and Zohakuten Friendship Headcanons!

This is probably going to be so long because I love Rui and Zohakuten

Warnings: mention of kidnapping (it’s not angst i promise), mention of drugs (it’s not angst i swear)

To say that Zohakuten gets jealous of Rui’s other friends is an understatement

He HATES when Rui isn’t paying attention to him and him only

So best believe when Rui goes and talks to Senjuro, dragging Zoha along, he is glaring the entire time at Senjuro

Senjuro is intimidated by Zohakuten

He hates him because he’s a “rebel” and a “bad influence” on Rui

Rui does not give a shit

Rui comes from a wealthy family (Muzan being his adoptive father)

He’s really sick so he constantly goes to the doctors

Zohakuten hates these days where Rui is gone because he’s by himself

Not that he minds being alone, he just misses Rui’s company and watching him play cats cradle

Muzan didn’t care for Zohakuten when he first met him

But then he saw how careful and nice he was to Rui

Like carrying Rui’s medicine for him or pestering him over being careful

He started to be nicer to him

Zohakuten feels like he needs to protect Rui

He’s ill and sick people, in his mind, need protecting at all costs and he makes sure that Rui isn’t out of his sight

Zoha HATES when Rui comes over to his place

Zoha and his brothers aren’t as wealthy as Rui’s family so they live in the rundown part of town

A lot of gang violence happens in their neighborhood

Zohakuten basically runs it

No one messes with him, he has quite the reputation

And then…his brothers are embarrassing

They tell Zohakuten to leave the door open all the time and ask if Rui is his boyfriend like no

That’s his bestie and only friend, leave him alone!

Zohakuten shuts the door anyways

All they do is play video games, talk shit and nap

They nap, yes

Usually Rui falls asleep on Zoha’s bed and Zoha just sleeps on the floor so Rui can have the bed

Karaku has definitely snapped a few photos as blackmail

Rui wanted to see Spider verse with Zohakuten so obviously he went

Just to find out that his brothers went as well to spy on him

They are so embarrassing

Zohakuten couldn’t enjoy the movie with Sekido’s eyes glaring into the back of his head

Rui enjoyed it though and wouldn’t stop talking about it

Then they saw Sekido and them

Zoha pushed Rui out of there so fast so he didn’t have to deal with them

Zohakuten has joined Rui on vacation a couple of times

It was nice

They went to Florida and Rui’s sisters wouldn’t leave Zohakuten alone

Until Rui threatened them

Zohakuten has no idea what Rui said to them to this day but he is forever grateful

They snuck off and went to the carnival near by, they almost got kidnapped too but that’s not as important

“Zoha, I want that giant spider plushie.” Rui pointed at this giant black widow spider plushie and it was huge

Zohakuten won that stupid spider for Rui

It costed him like half of his bank account but in the end, it made him happy to see Rui happy

Rui has seen Zoha smile

Rui likes that Zohakuten is so comfortable around him to see him smile and cry once too

And Zohakuten smiled whenever Rui was hugging that stupid overpriced spider plushie

Rui said that one day he wanted to do drugs (just weed) and Zohakuten reprimanded him so hard (Before Rui even knew about Karaku’s incident)

“Drugs will LEGIT kill you, Rui! If you do drugs, I am NEVER talking to you again! No matter how much I care for your pathetic ass!”

Zoha’s words didn’t hurt Rui at all, he knows that Zoha just struggles with showing how he feels and he does it with aggression

Zohakuten has beat up several people for Rui

No one messes with his best friend

He has earned the respect of Muzan for caring and protecting Rui

Him and Muzan will often talk about Rui’s wellbeing

Muzan asking if Rui is happy and Zohakuten confirming that he is

It’s a bit of a bonding moment between the two

Rui’s sisters obsess over Zohakuten

Rui gets mad (jealous) about it

Doesn’t want his sisters to try to date his best friend because in all the rom coms he has read/seen, it never works out and he also doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Zohakuten

Their school dance came up and Rui had no idea how to dance so Zohakuten taught him

Rui was flustered because he was tripping over his own feet

Zohakuten actually had a lot of patience with Rui

They practiced for an hour until Zohakuten just realized that he taught Rui how to dance the girl’s part so they had to start over

Rui just thought that Zoha wanted to dance more

Zohakuten recently started up kickboxing because he needed a destressor that wasn’t beating the shit out of his drum set and making the neighbors and his brothers mad

Zohakuten is extremely good at it and Rui even comes to his tournaments

Zohakuten also has a really really good singing voice, he rarely sings but “Hard 2 Face Reality” has got him singing his heart out

Rui heard him and caught him singing, he’s memorized by Zoha’s singing

Zohakuten was embarrassed and never wanted to open his mouth again

They act like it never happened

Rui plays cat’s cradle a lot and Zohakuten has tried to make Rui make a cat

Or even better, a dragon

Rui declines any of Zoha’s stupid requests

He’s just afraid of disappointing him somehow

“Rui, PLEASE, look, I used a nice word. PLEASE make a dragon.”

“…no.”

“Rui, make a damn dragon already!”

“…no.”

They rarely argue

But when they do, Zohakuten is just explosive and gets a bit violent

And Rui leaves him by himself or he just lets Zohakuten yell it all out at him, it doesn’t hurt his feelings

Then Zohakuten goes to him and all he does is sit by him

That’s basically his apology

Rui has noticed that Zohakuten has an obsession with hands

He likes examining Rui’s hands and watching the strings (Cat’s cradle) on them slip free

Zohakuten doesn’t understand why he does this either

He’s noticed that Rui has weak and bony hands unlike him

Zohakuten has come to the conclusion that if Rui were to punch something, he would break every bone in his hand

Zohakuten has also concluded that Rui is a vampire because he is so pale and gets sunburnt easily

Zohakuten teaches Rui some words in Spanish

Him and his brothers are Latino and Japanese

They grew up with a mix of both cultures but mainly Japanese

But they knew a lot of Spanish

Rui sometimes makes lunches for Zohakuten because he knows he doesn’t eat sometimes

Zohakuten always gets flustered and red in the face when Rui gives him a lunch

It’s not Rui’s job to make him lunch but yet he does and he feels embarrassed

If anything, he should be making Rui lunches

He clearly doesn’t eat enough! (He does)

Zohakuten doesn’t know how to accept anything from Rui

From friendship charms, to bracelets to necklaces

They have a whole matching friendship outfit

They have worn it out before

Rui made Zohakuten listen to country one time, Zoha didn’t like it (he swears but he secretly does)

The Christmas Incident.

Karaku and Urogi promised Zohakuten he would get a new dragon figure if he dressed up as an elf

Obviously he wasn’t going to do it alone, he got Rui to join him in exchange to watching every single spider man movie ever

So they got dressed up in the stupid elf costumes

And they were Karaku’s helpers because Karaku insisted on dressing up as Santa, Urogi and Sekido were reindeer

There were two rudolph the red nosed reindeer

They accidentally stood under a mistletoe together and a kid saw them

The kid said that they had to kiss now

Zohakuten told the kid it wasn’t a mistletoe and was just a leaf

Rui and Zohakuten were embarrassed about that for weeks

Zohakuten didn’t even get his dragon figure but he did watch all of the spider-man movies with Rui

At least one of them got something good out of it

[imagionationstation]

Wha…?

Holy… Holy mother of mutations, that is a lot. This… Is a lot.

I don’t even know where to start? I was just told a bunch of aggressive facts, but none of them are followed with proof or logic. They were just… said…

@thatturtlemenece is clearly very passionate though, so I’ll do my best to clear things up. 💚💚

“Splinter should not have kids be around kids”? I would like clarification on what this means before I touch on it.

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have gone through abuse, and that it’s hurt you in such a way that you see it in other places. But as someone who has a similar family dynamic to the turtles and can honestly say that I bear no ill will to either of my parents, and would choose my siblings over anyone else in a heartbeat… 

Nothing about this is abuse.

See it from his POV. You grew up as a human. You know exactly what the government could do to creatures they don’t understand, and that if anyone were to see your baby boys, that would be the last time you ever saw them again. The government would take them, experiment on them, hurt them- these defenseless creatures that you have been caring for are now in the hands of scientists from the horror movies who couldn’t care less if they live or die. 

Imagine having that in the back of your mind for years. Imagine looking at your baby boys for years, watching them laugh and mature and grow up, imagine having that weight of responsibility on your chest- that the very second any of them have been spotted, you will lose your babies to a cruel world that could never understand that they are just as much people as every human out there. 

Wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to protect them? 

But he won’t be there forever. He could go out one night for food and something could happen to him. He could die. He could be captured. And his little boys would be scared and all alone and journey to the dangerous, chaotic, unforgiving and unpredictable surface world totally defenseless. 

You can’t prevent your death, but you can try to prevent theirs.

You grew up as a ninja. You grew up with the honor of your clan. If you train them, if you help them prepare for the world ahead- they won’t have to be defenseless. They don’t have to be in danger, or at risk. They will be able to protect them selves and grow up and maybe even be happy despite being the freaks the world sees them as. They could survive another day, even without you there to help. 

Are you really telling me that you would chose not to train them? That would leave their hands to fate and just hope that nothing ever happens to you? That these precious little mutants that you’ve fed and named and protected at the risk of your life- you’d neglect the training given to you by your father and hope for the best?

Choosing between their innocence and their lives could seem like a hard choice. But in his own words, “As a leader, you will learn there is no right or wrong. Only choices.”

So he trains them. Not because he’s abusive or hateful or wants to carry on some legacy, not because he is selfish above all else- but because he needs them to be safe and to live their lives without having to fear. His most selfish part in this is needing his boys to be safe at the cost of their childhood, and keeping them down in the sewers despite their yearning to see the rest of the world. 

Unlike what RISE portrays, ninja skills can’t be learned in a day. Or two. Or five. They take a lifetime of training. And he needs his sons to be ready for when the cruelties of the world reach past the safe bubble he’s kept them in. He doesn’t know when that could be, so he started when they are old enough to learn.

He has to. It doesn’t matter what he wants. It matters what they need. 

And they need a fighting chance to live. 

Okay. Now that I’ve laid that all out…

I don’t understand what comparison is being made here. I think you’re saying 18, 12, and 03 should have Child Services called? 

I am inclined to agrees on 18, but I’m sure not everyone would agree with me. I can’t completely vouch for 03, but I think(?) I disagree.

As for 2012- what the hacking shell? Why?

Because you think he doesn’t properly feed his kids? Because they are turtles and eat algae and worms?

Donnie, the genius of his brothers, grows it in his lab. His brothers help him to collect it, as it’s stated in Metalhead Rewired. I’m pretty sure that eating worms and alegra is like eating spinach for me. I hate the stuff. It’s disgusting and tastes like crisp paper. I can’t eat it without gagging half the time. 

But it’s good for me, so I have to eat it sometimes. That’s possibly what alega is for the turtles. They eat alega for dinner because it’s a safe, nursing food that Donnie cares for and grows in his lab. They have an endless supply of it, and for all you know, on their mutation day, they had a low supply of human food.

They can’t go to a store. They can’t have it shipped to their home. The boys are not allowed out of the safety of their home, period. Which means Splinter is the only one that can collect food. Collecting food for four growing boys while avoiding stealing as much as he can must take hours. He’s also shown to be an old rat, as he gets taken down hard whenever he battles anyone, often needing to heal for weaks at a time. 

Maybe they were being good sports about the alega and worms because they now how hard it is for him. My parents had weeks where we made the best with whatever we had simply because they hadn’t ran out to the store yet. Not because they were abusive and hated us. Simply because things came up or they felt unwell or they simply hadn’t yet. 

Maybe Mikey was trying to make the best of things with that cake (which I will note was completely Mikey’s idea). 

Maybe he’s not lazy. Maybe he’s just not as young as he used to be. 

Now this is all purely hypothetical, of course. We never see them eating it again, but a lot happens off screen that we don’t see. Donnie still has his alega pools in the second season, so perhaps they are eating it off screen. We see them drinking milk, having soda, and eating Roman- Splinter even has cheesecycles- when they aren’t eating pizza, and it’s never once said that April or even the boys get the groceries. 

My bet is that this is simply one of the things Splinter does when we don’t see him. 

Nobody is being high and lazy. I have never considered my mother high and lazy for making me eat a salad when I wanted a burger. As a human, salads was good for me, so I’ve eaten it. As turtle mutants, this is perfectly natural and healthy for them, so they eat it. Like a salad, but possibly not as tasty with ranch. 

Honestly, I find it beyond sweet that he’s willing to sit down and eat this with them. I doubt that’s necessary for his health, but he’s probably doing it for their sake. In this together. 💚🤎

“Have Raph deal with his mental health using CULT torture-“ 

HE DOES WHAT?! 

Okay, I have no idea what that means but my level of concern here is absolutely through the roof- where on earth is this coming from?? Ep name please??? 

“He is never supervising his kids not because he suffering from mental health but because as he has stated he is not there father and not there parent he is there teacher and that is ALL the responsibility that he holds meaning.” 

He said this?! Once again- ep name please??

I don’t understand. He says “my sons” in practically every sentence when he talks to them! I’ve heard plenty of people have this opinion and I just can’t understand it. I mean- yes, his sons call him sensei, because he is their sensei. When he was dying, they didn’t call him sensei, they called him “papa” and “father” because that’s who they all knew he was all along. 

We already established how he could see the world, and why he would start training his little boys in the ways of the ninja up above, so I won’t get into that again. (This is already super long…) 

He was their teacher, and as my parents have been my teachers in the ways of the world, I don’t see what’s so wrong with them calling him that. His biggest fears was that when his sons outgrew him, he wouldn’t be needed anymore.

A big part of his life was ninjitsu, as it is a big part of theirs, and losing that- losing them, terrified him to the point that he lost his control, and the Rat King was able to take over.

He is their sensei. And he is their father. Why is it horrible for him to be both? 

(Thanks for staying with me this far! I really hope you’ve been keeping an open mind. Much appreciated. Now, just a little more to go!) 

“There is not parental guidance when they see and hear something on the TV hence I’m not surprised Leo is into KARAI or Leo donnie and raph abuse mikey.”

No one abuses Mikey. There is no abuse here. At all. EVER. 

I can totally get into this later if anyone cares about my opinion on this matter (I know it’s going to be unpopular, but I do have reasons), but now is about Splinter. 

Teens watch inappropriate shows. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. Teens fall in love with bad people. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. (My parents raised us with high virtues and self-respect, and my older brother still chased after girls that were not good for him.) 

You can fall in love with a bad person who seems cute/flirty/nice. It happens no matter what shows you watch. 

Perhaps that could be considered a bad on Splinter. I’ll consent to that. But that doesn’t make him a horrible dad. 

“Splinter literally gave karai’s weapon away to April even thigh he KNEW where she was and never BOTHERED to try and get her back! Instead he LEFT her there to be abused and manipulated! And when she comes home he never hugs her or acts like a normal father that has a missing daughter!”

The amount of times this man stared despondently at this photo, visibly hurting and sorrowful because of the family he’ll never truly get back… How does that say doesn’t act like a father mourning his wife and daughter? He looks at it at some points specifically when thinking about Karai.

Also.

Splinter ‘never bothered’ to get Karai because he feared losing his sons in the process. This horrible father who only wanted soldiers (as some people tend to gossip) actually just wanted to do everything in his power to keep his little boys safe. Karai was raised by Shredder. She hated Hamato Yoshi with every inch of her being because he killed her mother. Karai might even kill the sons he spent fifteen years raising and teaching without a second thought.

He doesn’t know her like the viewers do. To him, she’s dangerous and unpredictable. He’s not going to chase down a child, even one with his blood, if it means he will lose his current family. 

Once again, a choice had to be made, and he made one. Maybe it wasn’t the right one, but no choice is inherently perfect. He chose to protect his family. He told them explicitly to stay away to keep them safe. He loves his boys, and won’t risk them for a girl who isn’t Miwa anymore.

To add onto that- Miwa is dead. Miwa died that night with his wife, the same way that Spike died the night he came in contact with mutagen. There is only Slash and Karai now, and they have paved their own paths. The child that he wanted to raise to use this tesson is gone no matter what he does. Karai fights with a wakizashi blade. 

She is her own person, raised in a time that he will never get to be a part of.

But he can train April. He can help protect their new addition to their family. He can offer this honorary Hamato sister the weapon that was meant to go to his Miwa. He has two daughters now, and neither of them are one that he raised. But he chooses to accept them as they are now. 

He lets her take the fan, and lets a new daughter into his heart.

As for never hugging her or acting as a father….

Just because he doesn’t act as you believe he should act, doesn’t mean he isn’t showing fatherly love and compassion- possibly the same way his father did. He loves her, and he is going to show it as only Hamato Yoshi can. 

….With tea parties, apparently 🤣

Again, Mikey is not abused. You can disagree. I don’t mind. I know it’s not a fan-favorite opinion, and I’ll just have to live with that. I don’t mind the hate (okay, maybe it hurts a little 😔) because I truly believe I am correct. 

If you’re willing to hear me out, let me know. I’d love to lay it out for anyone who’s willing to listen! 

[otmaaromanovas]

Hi! Can you give us a huge insight of Tatiana Nikolaevna's personality? I would be interested in some rare quotes said by someone who met her! (cos she is my favorite royal like ever and I'm hopeless obsessed with her 😫)

Hello! Of course, here are some of my favourite rarer quotes about Tatiana - or from Tatiana herself - which I think give a great insight into her personality....

"Tatiana Nicolaievna had holly different… character. Less serious than her elder sister she was also more positive. In her could already be discerned a strong tendency to dominate to impose her authority coquette. She saw and noticed everything, and often made observations to her sisters, who because of it nicknamed her ‘the governess'… she took great care of her appearance and was it was said that she resembled her…”She's already a woman," said the Empress about her that year. She was the favourite in the family. She was very superstitious. One day she wrote to a graphologist, a fortune teller, to ask that she inform her about the destiny in store for her. By an intermediary, the other had sent to her a note couch in these terms: "A fatal destiny awaits you" Thereafter, the Grand Duchess never stopped bombarding her tutor, Petrov with questions such as "What does that mean? How am I to interpret this letter?"" - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"It was Tatiana Nicholaievna who would call N.P. Sabline by telephone to transmit ‘Papa’s’ order to come with his friends to play tennis." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"As for poor Alexei Nikolaevich, he was as if rooted to the armchair the whole time [unwell]. It was touching to see his sister, Tatiana Nicholaievna, lavishing attention on him before the luncheon." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"In [Alexandra's] eyes, as well as in those of her sister, Tatiana Nicholalevna, all that was Russian was superior to all the rest. To try, even jokingly, to lower something Russian in favour of something foreign was to expose oneself to losing her sympathy forever." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"Russian was taught by Peter Vassilievitch Petrov, whom I had had myself as a teacher at the Pavlovskoe military school. Petrov was already an elderly man, very gentle, and very good hearted. He held the Tsar's children in affection and they, in turn, were attached to him as if to a kindly relative. Often, when they were alone with him, the Grand Duchesses used to play with him, shouting, laughing, pushing him, and generally hauling him about without mercy. It was Tatiana Nicholaievna, graceful and agile as a gazelle, who would always give the signal on these occasions and direct the games. She was, at that time, a very pale little girl. One day, Petrov asked Olga Nicholaievna to name a white object for him.

My blouse, replied the Grand Duchess.

And a black object?

My slate pencil.

And a green one?

My sister Tatiana.

That really was the tint of her complexion." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 1

"[Alexandra] herself taught them sewing and needlework, her best pupil being Tatiana, who had an extraordinary talent for all kinds of handwork. She not only made beautiful blouses and other garments, embroideries and crochets, but she was able on occasions to arrange her mother’s long hair, and to dress her as well as a professional maid." - Anna Vyrubova, Memories of the Russian Court

"Suddenly [whilst watching a cinematograph] the bigger girl [in the movie] snatched a toy from the little one who, however, held on to it and refused to give it up. Foiled in her attempts, the elder seized a spoon and pounded the little one with it, who quickly relinquished the toy and began to cry. Tatiana wept to see the poor little one so ill-treated, but Olga was very quiet." - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"One of the under-nurses was married last year. She had come to the palace straight from her school, at seventeen years of age, and was there for nearly seven years. She was naturally very much attached to the children, and when her last day came was in floods of tears all through the day, and the children were terribly distressed to see her in such grief. The little Grand Duchess Tatiana told her she could stay on if she liked, she knew we all loved her and would be sorry to part from her ; and then she came running to me to beg me not to send dear Tegla away. I answered that she might stay if she liked, but that she had promised to marry Vladislav ; it was her own wish, and I did not think she would like to break her word. The other girls gave a little party to celebrate her leaving us, and the young man was amongst the guests. When the girl heard that he had arrived her grief broke forth again. She realised that the time of parting had come, and the children cried most bitterly. Little Tatiana Nicolaivna took a sheet of paper and a pencil, and wrote with great difficulty a letter which I translate : " Vladislav, Be good with Tegla. Tatiana." She placed this letter in an envelope and printed in large letters on the envelope, Vladislav, and sent it to him by the housemaid. I went in later to speak to the man and wish him happiness. He pulled this letter out of his pocket, and with tears in his eyes begged me to thank the little Grand Duchess, and assure her that he would never forget to be good to Tegla. All the more, because it was Tatiana Nicolaivna' s wish. He always carries the letter about with him. She came to visit us several times after her marriage and was very happy. Whenever she writes she always sends a special message to Tatiana to say that Vladislav is very good to her, and the little one looks so pleased and says, " Well, I am glad."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"After coffee, I went for a walk with my pupils… They really liked to go to the shops and buy everything. Anastasia Nikolaevna was especially attracted to stored, where they sold doll shoes of various sizes… Tatiana Nikolaevna did not always accompany since the doctors found her heart was weak and she went with the Empress to take baths." - Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, A Few Years Before the Catastrophe

"Alexandra's 594th letter to Nicholas, Sept 19 1916: …I do so want to get quicker well again, have more work to do & all lies upon Tatiana’s shoulders." - Joseph T. Fuhrmann, Nicholas and Alexandra: The Wartime Correspondence

The following are from Correspondence of the Russian Grand Duchesses: Letters of the Daughters of the Last Tsar by George Hawkins:

Tatiana to tutor PVP - 10 July 1906 - "Dear Petr Vasilievich! …Why did you write that I was not good? You mustn’t do that, you must write that I was a very good girl. Your devoted Naughty girl, Tatiana." -

Tatiana to PVP November 6th 1909 "…On these few lines I had 10 errors… I am so ashamed when I think about it"

Pierre Gilliard to Tatiana 25 May 1916 - "...It seems that purple is his [Dmitri Pavlovich] favourite colour… Alexis Nikolaevitch says that it is also yours…"

Letter from Alexandra to her brother and sister-in-law: 2 September 1911 …[after Stolypin's assassination] Tatiana came home very tearful and is still a little shaken whereas Olga put on a brave face throughout." - The Correspondence Of The Empress Alexandra Of Russia With Ernst Ludwig And Eleonore, Grand Duke And Duchess Of Hesse

Note from Anastasia to Tatiana - "1913 Aug. 4. My sweet Tatiana, please find out all about us and let us know through Shura about tomorrow, will we take off our caps for breakfast? Your Anastasia. Don’t forget." - Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

Letter from Pierre Gilliard to Anastasia, Spring 1916: "…I already wrote a long letter to Tatiana Nikolaevna yesterday, but I don’t think I shall send it, otherwise I would not dare to go back to Tsarskoe Selo, I would fear for my life." - Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

"4 December. ...The general atmosphere that lords over [us] nowadays does not inspire peace. As soon as dressings end, Tatiana Nikolaevna goes to do the injection, then sits down with K [officer]. The latter is constantly restless, first sits by the piano, playing something with one finger, chats a lot and fervently with the charming child. Varvara Afanasiyvna is appalled, what if Naryshkina walks in on this scene, Madame Zizi, she would die. Shakh-Bagov has fever, is in bed. Olga Nikolaevna sits by his bed constantly. The other couple also moved there, yesterday [they] sat by the bed and looked at a photo album. K. is being so coy. Tatiana Nikolaevna's small dear child's face cannot hide a thing, [it looks] pink, excited, Isn't this closeness, the physical contact harmful[?]. I feel scared. The others are jealous, angry, and I imagine they spread all sorts of [rumours] throughout the city and later beyond." - From the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

"Today Tatiana Nikolaevna walked with me upstairs after dressings, to do Popov’s dressing. The poor child is terribly embarrassed; grabs my hand: “So awfully embarrassing and frightening… one never knows whom to acknowledge and whom not to.”" - From the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva, Sister of Mercy

"To the right of me sits the Grand Duchess Tatiana. She's a grand princess from head to toe, so aristocratic and regal. Her face is pale matte, only the cheeks are slightly rosy, as if pink satin is trying to escape from just under her thin skin. Her profile is flawlessly beautiful, as if cut from marble by a great artist. The widely set eyes provide uniqueness and originality to her face [...] The nurse's Red Cross kerchief is more flattering to her than to her sisters. She laughs more rarely than her sisters. Her face sometimes has a focused and stern expression. In those moments she looks like her mother. On the pale outlines of her face are traces of deep thoughts and sometimes even sadness. Without any words I feel that she is special, different from her sisters, despite their common traits of kindness and friendliness. I feel hers - is a wholly secluded and unique world." - From the memoirs of Sophia Ofrosimova, Sister of Mercy

The following are all from Tatiana Romanov, Daughter of the Last Tsar: Diaries and Letters, 1913–1918:

"9th June. Tuesday. Today our Mary [Vishnyakova] left us, our nanny who was with us for 16 years. She left because it is time for Aleksei to be transferred into male hands so she will not have anything to do here anymore, so she left. I feel so sorry for her."

"28 February 1916. Tsarskoe Selo. Dear Mama, Would you not want to try to put this piece of fur to your cheek? Olga . . . gave it to me when I too was suffering from headaches. It is from the grave of the orthodox Semyon Verkhotursky. Try it, maybe it will help you. If not, then return it to me tomorrow. I hope that the Lord will help you, and all will be well with you. May God bless you. 1000 kisses from your very own daughter, Tatiana."

"6 April. On Wednesday, I will have my dreary Committee, and even the thought of it makes me sweat. I do not like these horrible committees."

"22 September. My meeting is on Wednesday at 2 o’clock in the Winter Palace in Petrograd. And that knave, Neydgart —he wanted me to read something at the beginning of the committee [meeting], but darling Mama said there was no need. To think, [he wished that] I would read such idiotic, stupid things in front of 14 people! Ah!"

"13 December. I have the great pleasure to go to the Petrograd Committee today. Oh! Not wanting to [go] at all."

"...the dear children worked until the 8th hour. Tatiana Nikolaevna cut her finger with a scalpel, quite a lot of blood flowed, and although the blade was clean, perhaps dust might have ended up in the wound. Melik-Adamov and Shakh-Bagov were sitting nearby. What poetic sympathy Tatiana Nikolaevna brings! How warmly she responded when called to the telephone and was read the telegram about his injury. What a good, pure, and deep girl she is! Youth is attracted to youth, and how her eyes sparkle! Awfully nice!" - Memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

"Before they left we kissed each other good-bye, and we all had a dim feeling that this was a crucial moment. We had been marched away separately at every previous change from boat to train, but this seemed to be different. Tatiana Nicolaevna tried to take the matter lightly. "What is the use of all these leave-takings? We shall all rejoice in each other's company in half an hour's time!"" - Sophie Buxhoeveden, Left Behind

"I was presented to the Emperor and to two of the young Grand Duchesses, Olga and Tatiana. The latter, to my idea, was the prettier of the two; but both had the simplicity of manner that is the greatest charm in every person and especially in anyone who holds such a position as theirs. They were not blasé in the least, and their faces shone with pleasure and excitement... The eldest, Olga, was very intelligent and gay and had a heart of gold; but she was also rather timid, so that her sister Tatiana, who was much more sociable, was easier to get on with at first." - Olga Voronva, Upheaval

"The Grand Duchess Tatiana was as charming as her sister Olga, but in a different way. She has been described as proud, but I never knew anyone less so. With her, as with her mother, shyness and reserve were accounted as pride, but, once you knew her and had gained her affection, this reserve disappeared, and the real Tatiana became apparent. She was a poetical creature, always yearning for the ideal, and dream- ing of great friendships which might be hers. The Emperor loved her devotedly, they had much in common, and the sisters used to laugh, and say that, if a favour were required, ''Tatiana must ask Papa to grant it." She was very tall, and excessively thin, with a cameo-like profile, deep blue eyes, and dark chestnut hair... a lovely "Rose" maiden, fragile and pure as a flower." - Lili Dehn, The Real Tsaritsa

"The Tsarevitch was a lively, amusing boy, with a wonderful ear for music, and he played well on the balalika : like Tatiana he was shy, but, once he knew and liked anyone, this shyness vanished." - Lili Dehn, The Real Tsaritsa

"October 24 - Today, Tatyana Nikolaevna first came alone: "After all, I'm going here, as if to my second home," and, indeed, she was so sweet and comfortable. She ran with me to the kitchen, where we prepared bandages. The empress laughed and said that Tatyana, like a good house dog, got used to it." - Diaries of Vera Chebotaryova

"In her physical appearance and her serious and ardent nature, she most resembled her mother. "She was also the family's manager and organizer, and possessed, more than her sisters, a highly developed sense of her position as the daughter of the Tsar." Tatiana was very different from Olga in temperament and interests. She was more confident of herself and more reserved, with more perseverance and balance. Slender, with auburn hair and clear gray eyes, she was strikingly good-looking and enjoyed the attention her beauty commanded. As the Empress became more and more an invalid, Tatiana, eighteen months younger than Olga, took over much of the responsibility for the younger children and the household. Had her life run its natural course, she would have graced many a ball." - The private world of the last Tsar, in the photographs and notes of General Count Alexander Grabbe

"Her Imperial Highness is President of the Committee for helping War-ravaged Russia, and is fully explained on the opposite page by M. Czerniewski. She is no mere figurehead, but takes the deepest and most constant interest in this splendid work." - British newspaper article

"Of the persons left behind [at Tobolsk] Tatischeff was the senior; and of the remaining part of the imperial family, Tatiana was considered senior in the place of the Grand Duchess Olga." - Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"The Grand Duchess Tatiana Nicholaevna was very thin. You could hardly imagine anybody as thin as she was. She was twenty-one years of age, was tall, darker than the rest of the family, and elegant. The colour of her eyes was dark grey. Her eyes made her look different from all of her sisters, who showed their souls through their eyes. She was reserved, haughty, and not open hearted, but she was the most positive. She was also religious, but the motive back of her religion was: "It is my duty,' while Olga Nicholaevna had it in her heart. She was always preoccupied and pensive and it was impossible to guess her thoughts. She played the piano and played it better than anyone else in the family. However, she had only a better technique and did not show feeling in her music. She painted and embroidered well. She was her mother's favourite and the one in whom, of all the daughters, she confided the most. If any favours were to be obtained they had to be gotten through Tatiana Nicholaevna." - Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

The Grand Duchess Tatiana was about twenty. She was quite different from her sisters. You recognised in her the same features that were in her mother — the same nature and the same character. You felt that she was the daughter of an emperor. She had no liking for art. Maybe it would have been better for her had she been a man. When the emperor and empress left Tobolsk nobody would ever have thought that the Grand Duchess Olga was the senior of the remaining members of the imperial family. If any questions arose it was always Tatiana who was appealed to. She was nearer to her mother than the other children; and it seemed that she loved her mother more than her father... All of them, including Tatiana, were nice, modest and innocent girls. There is no doubt they were cleaner in their thoughts than the majority of girls nowadays." - Examination of Commissar E. S. Kobylinsky, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"Tatiana looked like the czaritza. She had the same serious and haughty look as her mother. The other daughters : Olga, Maria and Anastasia,* had no haughtiness about them. One had the impression that they were modest and kind. I also can not describe the way they dressed, as I did not notice it." - Examination of Commissar Yakimov, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"Two other commissaries went to Tobolsk to remove the remainder of the family — Tatiana had been left in charge of the invalid and household. Olga, the eldest daughter, did not enjoy her mother's confidence in the same degree. She took far more interest in literature than in the practical affairs of life, and would hide herself in a comer with a book or tell stories to the soldiers, utterly forgetting domestic trifles. Anastasia, still a child, and rather backward, could be left in Tatiana's care." - Narrative of the editor, The Last Days of the Romanovs

Happy reading! I hope this helped :)

[astrowaffles]

Birds of a Feather

Teen for language (?) | fluff, long distance, confessions

for @haikyuuaction & @blithering-ming

When Hajime Iwaizumi was exactly one month old, he got terrifyingly ill with pneumonia.

Everyone around him thought for certain he was going to die. Even his parents, well known for their optimism, were beginning to resign themselves to their tragic fate, collecting up his clothes and toys to be put into storage so they wouldn’t have to look at them if the worst happened. It seemed to be truly in the hands of the gods, unable to be influenced by any human power – and, just as suddenly as it had come upon him, the pneumonia left Hajime and allowed him a full recovery, ten days after he’d fallen so drastically ill.

It wasn't for another five years that they would find out that this miraculous recovery occurred the day Tooru Oikawa was born.

------

OR: Hajime and Tooru are always on the same page, but after moving across the world from each other, it's getting harder to see the lucky coincidences they used to be famous for. But this is iwaoi after all - even 5000km can't shake their bond, and all it takes is a love confession to prove it.

When Hajime Iwaizumi was exactly one month old, he got terrifyingly ill with pneumonia.

New babies are often fragile, crying over every little thing and liable to be hurt by something even as small as a temperature change. The dust and germs that adults forget about invade babies like tiny, evil soldiers intent on revenge. In this case, a sudden summer chill that no-one thought much of struck Hajime down with serious illness, leaving his parents and relatives floundering. He’d been declared a ‘strong, healthy and heavy baby’ by his midwives, not likely to catch any of the common sickness most children are afflicted by, so this bout of coughing and spluttering left everyone on a knife edge, waiting to see what would happen.

Everyone around him thought for certain he was going to die. Even his parents, well known for their optimism, were beginning to resign themselves to their tragic fate, collecting up his clothes and toys to be put into storage so they wouldn’t have to look at them if the worst happened. It seemed to be truly in the hands of the gods, unable to be influenced by any human power – and, just as suddenly as it had come upon him, the pneumonia left Hajime and allowed him a full recovery, ten days after he’d fallen so drastically ill.

It wasn't for another five years that they would find out that this miraculous recovery occurred the day Tooru Oikawa was born.

“What a coincidence,” laughed Mrs Iwaizumi when she heard about it.

“A lucky one,” her husband agreed, and ruffled Tooru’s hair, chuckling at Hajime’s scowl.

It was not the last time Tooru and Hajime produced a lucky coincidence, though perhaps it was the most drastic. It was these odd, fortuitous coincidences that governed their lives: being placed in the same class throughout all of elementary, getting into volleyball at the same time, catching chickenpox from the same kid and being allowed to convalesce together, receiving their first confessions within a month of each other, being added to Aoba Johsai's starting lineup on the same day, discovering a shared love for horror movies the minute they turned on their first one (which, of course, they were watching together). These endless twists of fate kept them together, kept their destinies intertwined, until there was nothing in the universe that could separate them.

Perhaps, therefore, it was only natural that they would both decide to move across the world in the same year - only this time, in opposite directions. Hajime would go north, to California and to higher education. Tooru would go south, to San Juan and to professional volleyball. Perhaps, for once, destiny had not been on their side; perhaps, for the first time since meeting, they would separate. Perhaps it would be forever.

"This should be more dramatic, shouldn't it?" Tooru observed, with a little nervous laugh.

"No," said Hajime, resolute. "That would make it worse."

They stared at each other, washed out and artificial in the LED airport lights. Tooru looked close to tears. Hajime felt close to tears; he hoped it didn't show on his face.

"You look like you're about to cry," said Tooru. How could Hajime forget? Tooru read people for a living, and Hajime had been his first subject. 

"I'm not," Hajime lied.

They continued to stare at each other. Tooru fidgeted with his bag. Hajime couldn't think of anything to say. Words didn't come naturally to him like they had at the end of the spring prelims. 

"You'll be okay?" Tooru asked, concern etched over his face like Hajime was the one leaving, not him.

"Without you?" Hajime snorted. "It'll be nice. Peace and quiet."

Tooru rolled his eyes. “In California, dummy.”

“Will you be okay in San Juan?” Hajime countered.

“Without you?” Tooru thought about it. “Noooo, it’ll be terrible, come with meeeee-“

Hajime snickered. Tooru’s mock-pained face relaxed into a gentle smile, and he raised his fist. “C’mon, one last bump?”

“Don’t make it sound weird,” Hajime sighed, gently hitting Tooru’s fist with his own. A crackly voice announced it was boarding time; Tooru checked his watch, surprised.

“Guess that’s me,” he said. He didn’t move.

“Guess so,” Hajime agreed, not moving either. “Want me to walk you to the gate?”

“Please,” said Tooru, finally beginning to drag himself across the airport.

They walked instep for a few meters, Tooru fussing with his hair, his carry-on, his watch, his shirt buttons, his glasses, and then finally, when they reached the gate, Hajime’s hair, shirt, and rucksack.

“Thanks, Mom,” Hajime said, once Tooru had finished arranging. “You know you’re the one going, right?”

“You’re welcome,” said Tooru. “And yeah. I know.” His smile seemed a little forced now, as he gave Hajime’s shoulder a squeeze.

Hajime squeezed the hand resting on his shoulder, then let go. “See you later?”

“Not if I see you first,” Tooru laughed, and went to board his plane.

It was only when the last of that carefully styled brown hair disappeared behind the plane doors that Hajime thought, I should’ve hugged him.

One year later

“Hey, Hajime!” David called, jogging towards his friend. “Whatcha doing?”

“Texting,” said Hajime, typing furiously on his phone.

“Jeez, who’s pissed you off this time?”

“Tooru.”

“Of course.” David rolled his eyes. “Who else. What did he say?”

“Argentinian volleyball is better than Italian,” Hajime fumed. “Just because he’s got Jose Blanco on his side-“

“Ohh, volleyball,” David teased. “For a sec I thought it was something important- hey!” He stepped back to avoid being elbowed in the gut. “Alright, alright, I know it’s important...”

“Too right it is,” Hajime sniffed. “This could be life or death.”

David raised an eyebrow.

“As in, I’ll kill him if he doesn’t say I’m right.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you coming out with us tonight or are you too busy with your precious Tooru~?”

“Precious?” Hajime snorted. “As if. I’m coming out tonight, anyway.”

“And will you actually speak to us or will you just be texting Tooru~?”

“Will you stop talking like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re a twelve year old girl?”

David gasped. “What do you mean?”

Hajime stared at him.

David shrugged and let his playful expression drop. “I’m just teasing you, man. Pregame at mine?”

“Sure,” said Hajime. “What time?”

“Eh, get ready at mine too, so turn up whenever.”

“I hate it when you say that,” Hajime sighed. “I’ll be there at 6.”

“Early bird gets the worm, I like it,” David nodded.

“That makes no sense.”

“Oh, have you not heard the expression before? It means-“

“I know what it means, don’t worry,” Hajime assured him. “I’ll text you when I leave my dorm.”

“Sure,” said David. “I don’t think you do know what it means, though.”

“I have a vague suspicion,” said Hajime, standing and slipping his phone into his pocket, “That I might know what it means better than you do.” He swung his backpack onto his shoulder and began to walk away.

“This is why Tooru doesn’t like you!” Daniel called after him.

“I wish that was true!” Hajime called back. “Might have some peace from him then,” he added to himself, smiling slightly as his pocket vibrated with Tooru’s angry texts.

Never one to leave a friend alone if he could be bothering them, Tooru facetimed Hajime at 6pm on the dot, right as Hajime stepped into David’s common room.

“Hello?” said Hajime in Japanese, artfully dodging the beer cans that had been knocked onto the floor.

“HAJIME!” Tooru yelled through the phone. “WHERE ARE YOU? THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE YOUR ROOM!”

“Why are you shouting?” asked Hajime, exchanging an exasperated glance with a slightly confused David.

“IN CASE YOU CAN’T HEAR ME,” Tooru explained. “I’M BY A BUSY ROAD.”

“Is that Tooru? What’s he saying?” asked David.

“He said he’s by a road,” Hajime translated.

“OH, IS YOUR FRIEND THERE?” Tooru asked. “CAN I TRY MY ENGLISH ON HIM?”

“He wants to know if he can try his English on you,” Hajime repeated.

“Uh, sure?”

On screen, Tooru beamed. “GIVE HIM THE PHONE,” he commanded; Hajime obediently handed his phone to David, mouthed good luck, and went to get changed. The whole time he was getting dressed, from hauling on the overly tight muscle shirt one of his friends heavily implied he should wear to nearly falling over from trying to put socks on while standing up, he could hear Tooru booming through the screen in slightly broken English. David interjected here and there, usually sounding lost and a little scared, but Tooru steered the conversation masterfully. What they were talking about, Hajime had no idea. The walls weren’t that thin. By the time Hajime was fully clothed again and ready to rescue David, he wasn’t needed anymore. Tooru had worked his beautiful Oikawa magic and they were apparently best buddies now.

“Did he really say that?” David laughed. Tooru’s bright smile was slightly pixelated, but still obviously smug.

“YEP,” he said. “HAJIME WILL TELL YOU. HEY, IWA-CHAN! DIDN’T YOU PISS YOUR PANTS WHEN YOU WERE SIX?”

“Didn’t you piss your pants when you were seven?” Hajime returned, sliding in next to David, who eyed his outfit and whistled. “What?”

“Looking to pick someone up tonight, huh?” David suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. “I see ya, I see ya.”

“I DON’T SEE YA,” Tooru complained. “SHOW ME THE OUTFIT!”

David happily flipped the camera and stepped back to allow Tooru a full view of Hajime’s outfit; Hajime braced himself for the teasing that always happened in highschool when Tooru thought he might like a girl.

“Hm,” said Tooru. The cars whizzing past him made more noise now he’d gone silent. “I dunno..”

“Oh, now you talk at normal volume,” Hajime snarked. “Why, what’s wrong?”

“I DON’T LIKE IT,” Tooru sniffed.

“Aaaand he’s back to yelling.” Hajime stepped forward to take his phone back from David.

“PUT A HOODIE ON, YOU’LL GET COLD,” Tooru advised.

“It’s summer.”

“IT’S COLD IN CALIFORNIA.”

There was really no conceivable response to such a blatant lie; Hajime searched Tooru’s face for telltale signs of teasing, but he couldn’t spot the cheeky upturn of his friend’s smirk or playful tilt of his eyebrows. “Are you being for real?” he asked in Japanese.

“VERY,” Tooru replied, still in English.

“Very what?” asked David.

“VERY COLD,” said Tooru. “HOODIE, PLEASE, HAJIME. YOUR BLUE ONE WILL GO BEST WITH YOUR OUTFIT.”

“Yes, mother,” Hajime sighed, rolling his eyes. “Can we stop by my place on the way out?” he asked David.

“Sure,” said David, confused. “I’ve never seen you in a blue hoodie.”

“WHY NOT?” asked Tooru.

“You know why not,” Hajime told him.

“Well, Tara said she’ll meet us there, and Simon’s got the flu, so… let’s go?” David offered.

“Yeesh, I told him to rest up,” Hajime grumbled. “Let’s go.”

Half an hour later, David, Tara and Hajime were crowded around a small table in the corner of the bar, Tooru’s face looming large on Hajime’s screen as he yelled some story about volleyball practice over the bass rattling through the floor. Exhausted by his efforts in English, he’d gone back to his own unique blend of Japanese and Spanish, which Hajime only understood thanks to his own efforts on Duolingo over the past year. Hajime had also faithfully retrieved the requested hoodie on the way to the bar and was now wearing it – a CA San Juan merch hoodie with OIKAWA splashed across the back.

“Who’s Oikawa?” asked Tara.

“A volleyball player, surely,” said David.

Hajime couldn’t do anything but hum in agreement, trying to keep up with Tooru’s fast-paced anecdote.

“Why is he wearing a hoodie at all? It’s summer,” Tara pointed out.

“Tooru told him to,” said David.

“Ah, Tooru,” Tara nodded, like that explained everything.

On screen, Tooru had finally reached his destination and was signing off.

“Bye,” said Hajime in English.

“TE AMO!” said Tooru, waving madly.

“Whatever,” Hajime laughed, and hung up.

“Now, I don’t speak Spanish,” said Tara, “But that sounded a lot like ‘I love you’.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. He’s just like that,” Hajime shrugged.

“How long has he been like that?” Tara asked.

“Our whole lives.”

“Sheesh,” Tara whistled, “That’s a long time to be pining away for.”

“Pining? Who’s pining?”

David winced and put his hand over Tara’s mouth. “She didn’t mean anything by that, Haji. Now, what’re we having to drink?”

“I did mean something by that. I meant A LOT by that,” Tara hissed as Hajime studied the menu.

“I can hear you,” Hajime informed her. “Though I am choosing not to engage.”

Tara jabbed a finger at him accusingly. “We are so discussing this when we get back home.”

“Sure, sure,” Hajime agreed.

They never did. They never even asked who Oikawa was again, writing him off as some player that only a ‘volleyball nerd’ like Hajime could’ve heard of. Tara good-naturedly watched some matches with him (to ‘tide him over until Tooru visits’, she insisted) and Simon let him hang merch in their dorm; all three of them went to cheer him on when he played for the university, but none of them understood what was so enchanting to Hajime about the sport. That side of volleyball was reserved for fast chatter over the phone late into the night, the comforting sounds of his mother tongue bouncing around whichever room he took the call into, usually the kitchen. Hanamaki called once, excitedly announcing that Matsukawa had managed to pirate a UC Irvine match and Hajime had looked ‘pretty cool for a guy with hair like that’ and Hajime had hung up immediately. Mostly he just texted his friends and his mom, and sent them pictures from the restaurant down the road he frequented with his friends.

No-one really knew him like Tooru did. No-one ever could, really.

“I’m too busy to talk for long,” Tooru said sadly, on the day that Hajime coincidentally had two finals and couldn’t speak for more than ten minutes.

“My train was cancelled,” Tooru complained, before Hajime could rant about his own cancelled bus.

“I’m going home for winter break,” Tooru told him on one of their daily phone calls, just at the exact moment Hajime had opened his mouth to say he was going home for his break.

“My flight was moved to Sunday,” Tooru huffed. Hajime smiled and flashed a ticket reading the same date.

My flight’s landing, came the text when Hajime was pulling his bag from luggage claim.

“HAJIME!” Tooru yelled, and this time it wasn’t through a screen, Hajime’s shitty phone speaker crackling over the familiar voice – this time Tooru’s obnoxious, loud, lilting call echoed embarrassingly through the airport, and Hajime wanted the ground to swallow him.

“Do you have to be so loud?” he complained, swinging around to face his friend as Tooru made his way towards him. “You could’ve just tapped my shoulder.”

“Nonsense,” said Tooru dismissively, grabbing Hajime’s arm. “I was too far away.”

“You could’ve waited. Or walked faster.”

“Impatient, impatient, as always. There’s no delicacy to you, Iwa.”

“Will you ever just pick a name?”

“Hm? Why, my dear Haji, would I ever do that~?”

“Whatever, freak. Let’s go.”

“You love meeeee-“

“I said, let’s go.”

“That wasn’t a noooooo-“

“Let’s GO.”

Tooru allowed Hajime to drag him out, stopping to rescue Tooru’s suitcase from the pile of similar sleek cases floating around baggage claim. Hajime didn’t even attempt to hand it to his friend, just grabbed the handle with the same arm his duffel bag was hanging from and kept walking.

Tooru waved cheerfully at the security guard. “He probably thinks I’m being kidnapped.”

“After your little show just before? No chance.”

“You mean when I dramatically shouted your name and you dragged me across an airport? There’s definitely a chance.”

“Either you think he’s stupid, or you’re stupid and just projecting.”

“Maybe we’re actually in a super intriguing relationship where you’re a mafia boss and I’m an innocent victim of your devilish good looks.”

“We’re not in any relationship, never mind an intriguing one,” Hajime snorted.

“I should change that,” Tooru mused.

“What?”

“I said, I SHOULD CHANGE THAT,” Tooru yelled into Hajime’s ear.

“OW, you fucker!” Hajime shook his head lightly to try and stop the ringing. “We’re unpacking that later. For now, you have to walk a meter away.”

“What? Whyyyyyyyyy?”

“Uh, maybe because you just burst my eardrum? Now shoo!”

Tooru sadly detached from Hajime’s arm and fell a few steps behind. “When are we gonna unpack that?” he called.

“When you stop being an ass!” Hajime called back.

Shittykawa

>> can we unpack it now lol

what about my eardrum tho <<

>> aww is iwachan hurty……

>> itll heal soon. probably

u better hope it does <<

>> so………

>> can we unpack it now

………. <<

fine. come over <<

“Hello, Mrs Iwaizumi!”

The familiar greeting made Hajime laugh a little from his spot on his bed, thinking of tiny Tooru Oikawa who used to bow the full ninety degrees to make sure his best friend’s mom would love him.

“Hello, dear,” Hajime’s mom greeted back. “Hajime’s upstairs.”

Hajime sat up and crossed his legs in anticipation.

“Thank you!” Tooru said, smile audible, as he began taking the stairs two at a time.

“Slow down,” Hajime called down to him through the doorway. “If you fall I’m not calling the ambulance.”

“Liar!” Tooru accused, bounding through the doorway with too much energy, as usual. “Your mom would never let me die.”

“My mom would swap me for you,” Hajime admitted, and shuffled back to make room on the bed. “Alright, loser. Come sit.”

“Yes, sir,” Tooru mock-saluted, and practically threw himself down on the mattress.

“I said sit, not flop,” Hajime complained, straightening the sheets.

“Whatever,” Tooru shrugged. “What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine. Therefore, this is my bed.”

“What are we, married?” Hajime grumped.

The tips of Tooru’s ears turned red.

Hajime stared at him. “Are you serious right now.”

“It’s a cute concept!” Tooru defended. “Just because you’re an emotionless brute doesn’t mean all of us are insensitive.”

“So,” Hajime said in disbelief, “When you said you should change our relationship-“

“Yep, I meant it,” Tooru nodded.

What could Hajime even say to that?

“So, you –“

“Yes, Hajime,” Tooru said impatiently, “I like you like that, you big baby.”

“Since when were you the emotionally mature one?”

“Wow, Iwa. Haven’t I always been?”

“No.”

“Well, who was? It definitely wasn’t you.”

“It definitely was.”

Tooru sighed heavily. “So am I gonna get an answer?”

“An answer? To what?”

“Oh my goddddd,” Tooru complained. “I’m actually going to have to do this ....”

With as much grace as he could muster – which wasn’t a lot, given the situation – Tooru slid off the bed and landed on one knee.

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “I know we joked about it, but I’m not actually going to marry you.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do!!” Tooru squawked. “Just listen, will you?!”

“Sure,” Hajime said easily, leaning back. “Go for it.”

“Hajime Iwaizumi –“

“That’s me.”

“Let me finish!”

“Whatever you want, my liege.”

Tooru rolled his eyes. “You’re so fucking annoying and I’m in love with you.”

“.... That’s it?”

“I had a whole speech but you ruined it,” Tooru pouted.

“You can save it for our wedding,” Hajime suggested.

Tooru stared at him. “What.”

“Do you suddenly not speak Japanese anymore?”

“No, I heard what you said, I just meant... is that a yes?”

“You haven’t actually asked me a question.”

Tooru genuinely looked like he was going to scream. “You make my life very difficult, Hajime.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tooru took a deep breath. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it?”

“I’ve already said that. Find your own lines.”

“There’s no agonising over your feelings? No shock when you discover you like men? No worries that our friendship will be ruined?”

“Should there be?”

“Um, yes?”

“Because that’s what you had?”

“Yes?”

“Well I’m not stupid like you, so.”

“I hate you.”

“Woah, divorce already?”

“Fuck you.”

“All in good time, dude.....”

Tooru mimed strangling him. Hajime cackled.

Shittykawa

>> i miss you already :(

uve only been away five minutes <<

>> ITS BEEN FIVE HOURS.

rly? feels like more <<

>> awwwww~~~~

>> you do love me!!!

>> 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

duh. <<

A03 | Exclusives | Tip Me | Commissions

[inluvcho]

maybe celebrating christmas with takuma headcons :)?

Christmas with takuma

Short christmas fic of christmas with ino!! this sucks imo but i hope you guys enjoy!!

“baby pleaseee let me open one”

ino whined to you, desperate to know what’s in the tiny box, seems to be the most interesting one.

“No ino. for the last time you can not open any presents before breakfast”

You say with an annoyed sigh. It’s only the 15th time he’s asked you that since you both woke up.

“Baby no rush but can you COOK FASTER”

he says as he dramatically falls to his knees. “ino you have fought curses and have had several near death experiences. you can handle not opening presents for a bit”

After you finally finished cooking breakfast you both sat down and watched christmas movies while you ate, Cuddling up next to each other. Ino finished his plate first,

“can i pretty please open my presents now please” With a dramatic sigh and a minute of pretend thinking later you finally agreed to let him open his presents.“hmmm i gue-“ “YAY THANK YOU BABY” He cut you off with excitement. As he ran to the present he’s been eyeing all morning you walk over to the couch to watch him open his gifts.

“i’ve been waiting ForEVER to open this”

“now don’t get your hopes up i might’ve put a retraining order in one of them” “oh very funny girlfriend of mine who loves me so much”

“hmm”

you smile with content as he starts opening it.“baby..no you didn’t.”“did what it depends on what we’re talking about here”“YOU GOT ME TICKETS TO GREEN DAY?”“merry christmas baby” You say as he hugs you tightly. “you should open your gifts too” he says as he searches for the gifts with your name“but first you need to open this one it’s the most important one here”he says as he hands you your gift a small wrapped present” “ok.. getting scared here” as you nervously grab the box “just open the box baby”

You open the box to see a silver ring shining in the black box“ino…” you say as you grip the box tighter “it’s a darry ring, you can only buy 1 in your entire life, you get it for your soulmate”

“ino.. you think i’m your soulmate?” you say as you look at him in shock. “Of course i do babe you and me are attached by a string and i’ll follow it forever” he says while he hold your hand with the ring in it “we’re still too young for marriage but i want you to know it’s you and will only ever be you”

“i love you so much ino. your my person in every universe”

“good to know baby cause your mine”

you both hug for a bit until ino interupts

“sooo does this mean i can eat those cookies we left for santa”

“NO THERE FOR SANTA INO.”

★✩★✩★✩ ★✩★✩★✩ ★✩★✩★✩ ★✩★✩★✩

IM SORRY ILL DO BETTER NEXT TIME CHAT

MY WORK DO NOT STEAL

divider by: @roseraris

[hackerqueen]

Another Love

Chapter 3: Runaway

Previous chapter <-

warnings: none i think but if you catch any, let me know in the comments!

A week has passed. 7 days, 168 hours since I last saw Jessy. I tried not to think about it, I was absorbed in preparations for the upcoming wedding and bachelorette party. I forgot my behavior in the car and the messages from Lilly I received on the evening of the ill-fated day.

Lilly: I know it's hard for you

Lilly: I know you see him too

Lilly: But that's impossible.

MC: I won't let you make me insane. Not this time.

Lilly: I'm not saying that at all. But it's impossible that you saw him.

This message was followed by a minute of silence, followed by another heartbreaking one.

Lilly: You can't see him because he's dead

I did not reply. In fact, the blonde didn't even wait for an answer. She simply closed the newly opened wound, which was slowly sticking together.

I looked at my reflection, searching for the old sparks that I knew had left my brown eyes forever. I scanned my body clad in a red dress that reached my mid-thighs. Seen view.. was decent. I was like a rose, though not fresh and fully bloomed, but dried up. Tonight was supposed to be a good evening. I was supposed to drink, play, dance and forget about God's world. Have fun like there's no tomorrow.

I heard a loud horn of a car that approached my block. I came down and immediately recognized Dan's black Volkswagen. I walked inside and breathed a sigh of relief as I smelled a familiar scent that only reminded me of this man. It had a very distinctive perfume, and in combination with the air freshener it calmed my senses and heart.

– Well, well, well. Someone struced up like a rat for the opening of the sewer.

I looked at him with narrowed eyes, but my feigned indignation couldn't last long once I saw his expression. I burst out laughing, nudging his shoulder hard.

– Gallant as always. – Dan chuckled and drove out of the parking lot. – You know, you keep on being nice to me, and I'm going to think you like me.

The man looked at me again, his other hand lowering his sunglasses to the tip of his nose.

– Who says I don't like you, honey? – he said, deliberately lowering his voice to sound like a lover in a cheap romantic comedy

I rolled my eyes, but there was a wide smile on my face.

– Eyes on the road, Jack Daniels.

I loved those moments when I got into that car and forgot about everything. Sometimes it was friday nights, other times we disappeared for the whole weekend. There was nothing dirty or romantic about our relationship. Of course, it was true that Dan was trying his luck by asking me out to watch horror movies together two years ago, but I'd never agreed to that. We realized that our connection is only platonic and that our hearts belong to someone else. Dan was unlucky in love with Jessy. He confessed this to me six months ago when I drove him drunk from Aurora. It was our first meeting with the whole group, even though I had been living in Duskwood for a year and a half at the time. I had no contact with them all this time, because the group completely shut down. Jessy was experiencing Richy's death, Cleo and Thomas tried to help Hannah in the meantime assimilating with the whole situation. Dan told me everything. About how he tried to be there for the redhead, but she rejected him.

The pack of friends was rapidly falling apart and no one knew how to fix it. I flew to Duskwood two years ago for Richy and Jake's funeral. And I don't even know how or when I stayed here until today. I left my old Californian life behind for a small town. In the States, I had no one worth staying for. I didn't have a family, and a handful of friends accepted my decision rather quickly. I thought it would be different here. That I will start all over again.

– And here we are. – he announced in an optimistic, cheerful voice getting out of the car – I'll bring alcohol and I'll take Tommyboy on the best party in his life.

Hannah's bachelorette party was to be held at her house. It was big enough to party, and she didn't want to do that in Aurora. We walked into her place and I was immediately hit by the loud music. I said hello to each person and showed Dan where to put the crate with various alcohol. We were still standing at the kitchen counter, discussing the evening ahead. We stay here, while Thomas and his friends go to Aurora.

Finally our eyes fell on the opposite end of the room where Hannah and Thomas were. They were joking about something, looking into each other's eyes while looking so happy. They looked like fulfilled lovers who overcame many adversities to finally stand on the wedding carpet and connect for life.

– How sweet. – Dan mumbled, and I immediately sensed the irony in his voice

– You have to be a jerk your entire life. Why not take today off? – I replied teasingly as he rolled his eyes

Although we always joked and turned it into sarcasm and irony, deep down we envied them a lot. That they succeeded and we did not.

– Oh, MC, you're here! – I heard a loud scream of Cleo who came over to me and hugged me – Hi Dan. Shit, I forgot to bring my phone upstairs.

– I'll bring you. I have to go to the bathroom anyway. Will you make me a drink? – I suggested to which she immediately agreed.

I did my physiological business and went to Hannah's room where the phone was on the bed. Picking it up, I saw that she was calling and showing her mother's number. I started to head to the ground floor of the house, where I heard loud screams. Looks like they're having fun already.

– Where the fuck have you been?!

I recognized Dan's voice, who was furious. I stood on the penultimate step looking at the group of people in front of me.

– Cleo, your...

The woman turned to me, and only then I saw the person standing in front of the front door. A shiver ran down my spine and my feet dug into the ground. The man was dressed in dark colors, and the hood of a black sweatshirt slightly covered his face. But even from this distance, I knew who he was. He was a ghost who haunted me on what was supposed to be my stepping stone. He couldn't let himself be forgotten.

I saw him lift his head, look from an enraged Dan to me. I felt his blue eyes piercing me. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I heard his voice.

– Hello MC.

I knew that voice was the thorns decorating my tense body. That voice was the beginning of my end. So without thinking, I turned around and started running upstairs, leaving them all behind me.

I ran away from him although once I would run for him.

[shigayokagayama]

maybe a weird question, but do you have any recommendations for non-mob psycho media? I’ve been in search of something that hits similarly/is as well made and I trust your judgement o wise one. I’m not super picky, so recs of any kind would be appreciated :)

im like the worst person to take media recommendations from because you have to tie me down to watch something new and then i get obsessed with it forever, in terms of things ive seen recently that hit the same tumblr is NOT lying dungeon meshi is really good and if you start watching now you're gonna be watching at the part where it starts getting crazy

other stuff ive been into (gets progressively less mob psycho and generally more depressing like the further down we go bc i tend to get into really, really sad shit):

-i <3 deltarune but everyone has already played that. deltarune good. if you havent played deltarune play deltarune. genuinely like it more than undertale. also if the last chapter of deltarune is just the confession arc i called it and deserve a million dollars

-same w spiderverse. listen usually i dont care about superhero stuff but god these movies are good and i really hope they stick the landing.

-everything everywhere all at once continues to be one of my favorite movies ever

-rainworld (video game, very difficult but skurry's playthroughs do a good job summarizing the plot and general vibe of each route if you wanna watch those. i watched my friend play survivor ages ago and ive been playing through survivor with a friend on multiplayer and decided to watch some playthroughs to get a feel for the map and GOD DAMN the story of this game. rivulet route almost made me cry.) fair warning this is animal death the video game.

-severance (live action tv show, general plot is some sort of dystopian future where they invent a surgery where you can seperate your work self from your normal self so you clock into work and then black out until your shift is over. except your work self is just stuck at work forever. only 9 episodes but very, VERY good)

-i actually really enjoyed the scott pilgrim comics and the anime i wish anyone ever could be normal about them. id definitely suggest comics (if you can handle the 2000s humor) then anime. also basically everyone knows this but fair warning that starting out the main character is in his early 20s dating a 17 year old, it is explicitly treated as a shitty thing by the narrative and theres nothing explicit and its made very clear that he has 0 feelings for her whatsoever and is just using her as an ego boost but if youre sensitive to that stuff i might skip this one

-lots of webcomics about animals. i read so many webcomics about animals its like. my main media intake. this is part of the reason that i dont understand complaints about the art style my favorite webcomic looks like this

its called doe of deadwood and ill think about it until the day i die. others im currently reading (since this one wrapped a while ago) are "what lurks beneath" (cat cult on an island) "waves always crash" (cat cult on the beach) "i didnt know" (cat cult in a barn), toufati sawa (hyena trying to avenge her clan) and africa (leopard trying to survive the harshening world with her cubs) warning for animal death with all of these and general abuse warning for all those cat cult ones bc. cults.

-i like warrior cats. do not read warrior cats. its not very good and youll get stuck here forever.

-pathologic but the actual game and not just people describing the game please watch someone play the actual game summaries skip so much of the meat of the story and the characters. or play the game if you can bear learning to strategically quicksave. fair warning there is a lot of racism depicted against indigenous people in these games and while the framing of it generally aires on the side of "racism bad" there are a lot of kinda shitty tropes that come with it.

-listen bojack horseman is one of my shows it is the polar opposite of mob psycho in like every way and i would never in a million years recommend it if you want something that hits like mob psycho but if we're asking for just things i enjoy this is one of them. heavy cw for drug usage and abuse with this one. might want to give "does the dog die" a look for this one bc people are not joking about how heavy this show is

-same with hospice. hospice is a concept album about a hospice worker and a patient and has had more of an influence on me than any other piece of media ever bc i found it at the exact perfect time in my life for it to be relevant to my circumstances and now its like part of my identity. heavy cw for abuse also

-speaking of concept albums hey have you listened to tyler the creator he has several. WOLF especially i really like because the plot is actually like. kinda intricate. he also says the f slur a lot in WOLF but hes bisexual so diversity win?

-succession good. tw for like. everything though. probably "does the dog die" this one.

-hey have you ever watched david lynch's 1972 film "eraserhead"

[dstroykin1]

D-siblings human au

It was a normal day, well not really a day as the sun had just rose.I stood there staring at the motionless body which laid in the piled leaves, covered with blood. I could see the eyes were all puffy as his clothes were covered in the color of an apple skin .’Great ‘I muttered under my breath as I stared at the corpse.To be honest , I was glad that he was dead,after all he was truly pathetic.’So should I leave him here or throw him the river’’ I spoke in a mocking tone  as I kneeled down to inspect the body to see what damages I had caused. After a bit of debating in my head, I concluded that I should throw him in the river. I began to pull  towards the small river up ahead.

 Honestly he wasn’t that heavy since I was used to dragging stuff like him. After a bit of dragging I had finally arrived at the edge of the river. As I was about to throw him, a strike of guilt suddenly struck  my chest. My guts told me not to throw him off like he wasn't anything, but my heart being cold insisted for me to do it. After all, the bastard had never cared or even acknowledged my existence.Splash, as he fell in and began to drift away, the further he drifted the more reddish the river started to turn. I watched as I knew that this was the last time I'll ever see him. I knew that I didn't regret a single thing I did .‘ Fare well , older brother’  I smiled seeing that the body had floated out of sight.

 Once the body was gone for good, I started to walk away from the river. As I was walking away all the memories between him and I started to play in my head like I was at a cinema.The times where he would pretend that we were not related in public or say stuff which made me lower my self esteem  . The list would go on forever. The more I kept thinking the guilt started to rise more, despite him never caring about me. I still cared for him and surprisingly looked up to him. As the tears started to fall down my cheek , I couldn't help but start regretting killing him. 

After all, he was the first and only person who knew about my attempt. After all, I didn't have the courage to tell my father  or D-stroy honestly anyone except him. As I kept walking , the tears were starting to slow down .

‘Don’t worry older brother, I'll join you soon enough’ I whispered slowly towards myself . I knew very well that my time was going to end soon , and I'll see him again. And maybe this time we wouldn't hate each other . We might get along and finally act like siblings from movies. But there was one time where he acted like he cared for me like a true older sibling would. The time where he hugged me as my arm was bleeding , with the blade on the floor covered in my blood. The time where he begged me never to hurt myself again . The time he hugged me as I cried into his shoulder. But now what I had done , there was no turning back now . He's dead , he's no longer alive. And I won't be alive soon.Im sorry D-structs but you made me do this to you. 

Honestly I have no clue how to write more parts for it but either ways ill figure something. If you want clue on the backstory for them just spam me .