#OHHH THE MUSTACHE

[zarophod]

con o’neill girlies how we feeling rn????

[cygnus-is-tired]

Just a ✨normal guy✨ and his normal ✨prisoners✨ RATS

(You know, I don’t think this guy should be allowed pets. He doesn’t seem like a very responsible owner)

[catrinkets]

thinking abt that skincare subreddit where someone asked how to remove texture from their face when it was absolutely fine and clear .. and it made me think abt how i’m in that sub and sometimes the people on there make me think wow you’re insane but that just sorta bounces back on me bc i’m also insane for thinking like that at times

[starkeyisthelastname]

OHHH ANOTHER THOUGHT!!!!!!!

idk how the porn community works HALSJKS but if its a thing to like ….. ship them ig??? … how would rafe react to r’s video with another dude being posted on twitter (maybe the first vid she’s made since her vid with rafe) and everyone’s in the comments being like “omg yas this is so hot!!!” “omg this is so much better than her and rafe!!” BALJEKS IDK

the first time someone’s talked negatively about him and it’s actually effected him 😅 he doesn’t like this ego being bruised

It was rare that Rafe checked social media, he just didn’t care about what people thought. He was pornstar and was used to being judged for his career choice and especially for the brutal way he fucked his costars. It was the Twitter notification he got though, with his name and your name tagged along with someone else’s who he didn’t know that caught his attention.

He opened the video, his blue eyes darkening as soon as he saw what it was. It was some nobody with a dick half the size of his, trying to make you cum. He could tell by the moans you were giving that it was all an act, and it ignited something in him he didn’t like. Watching another man fuck you, even if it was your job wasn’t something he particularly was a fan of. He had always loved pussy and money, and never once thought of ever quitting his rather successful porn career for anyone, until you started occupying his mind all day every day. He just couldn’t bring himself to end it yet, his addiction to sex and money way too deep.

As he went to exit out the app, a comment caught his eye. “Wow. She’s a pro at taking dick.” He scoffed as he read it out loud. What dick were you takin? That clown was the size of a pinky compared to him. It was the next one down that had his head raging in a way he had never experienced. ‘Her and @therafecameron video was weak compared to this. 🤣’ He seethed, these stupid idiots comments getting to him and bruising his extremely high ego. His knee bounced rapidly, thumb at the edge of his mouth as his mind raced wildly.

It was the phone, turned into landscape mode as Rafe’s long arm aimed it down to let it capture you taking dick. His free hand was wrapped in your hair, yanking your head back as he drilled into you at a brutal speed. The makeup you had on was smeared, tears streaming down your sparkly cheeks as he had some point to prove. He didn’t exactly say what, but it was a chance to get fucked by the man you were becoming obsessed with.

“Who’s fucking dick are you takin?” Rafe asked, his voice dripping venom as he yanked your head to make you look at him. His blue eyes, peered down at you in a predatory manner as he forced you to give him an answer.

The answer you gave was incoherent, your words coming out in babbles as an insane amount of pleasure was taking over your body. Your eyes rolled back, his huge dick tearing you apart as he wrapped his fist around your hair even harder. The phone that was recording the raw homemade scene was now shoved in your face, his hand on your head forcing you to look at the lens.

You were still so pretty, completely cock drunk off his monstrous ways as you were being his good personal whore. He leaned down, mustache brushing over your ear as he looked at the camera. It was quite a sexy sight to see his wild hair and striking blue iris’s making eye contact with the phone. “Tell them who’s dick your fuckin takin.” He spoke lowly, eyes watching your face through the screen. “Don’t make me repeat myself, I swear you’ll fucking regret it.” He gritted out, toned hips slapping against yours.

You cried out, his hand removing itself from your head to force your chin to look at the camera. You had no choice but to let out a loud whine, screaming the man’s name that you just wanted as yours. “Rafe Cameron! I’m t-takin Rafe Cameron’s dick!” Your voice cracking as you clamped down onto his cock.

As soon as heard that, a smirk came to his face and his nuts tightened. He tilted your chin towards him, sloppily kissing you with his tongue as the camera caught something Rafe never did with anyone. If the kissing wasn’t enough to make people a little shocked, it was that he posted it to his Twitter account, caption reading ‘The only dick that can get her screaming 😱 remember the fucking name bitches.’

[lulunothulu]

Okay but imagine…

A drunk Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Your call-sign: Sparrow

“Ohhh, Y/N!” You hear from behind you.

You turn away from the conversation you were having with Natasha and Bob to see your best friend and roommate, Jake, stumbling over to you.

“Jake,” you smile up at him.

“Did you know your hair looks so pretty in the light?” He asks.

“No, but I can imagine,” you grin up at him, looking behind him to see an equally smiley Bradley and Javy. “Do you need some water?”

Jake only shakes his head, finishing off his beer and wrapping his arms around you in a bear hug. “What I need is a kiss.”

“A kiss?” You ask, heart pounding in your chest.

Jake nods, leaning in close to your ear. He whispers, “I think your lips would be the softest most beautifulest lips I’ve ever wanted to kiss.”

A blush creeps up your neck, you’d wanted to kiss him yourself for the past few years but was scared to ruin the friendship.

Now that Jake was basically admitting that he wanted to kiss you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. That was, until you remembered that he is absolutely drunk, and there was no way that he could actually want to kiss you. 

“Let’s get you home,” you tell him instead. “Let me finish my water and we’ll get out of here.”

“Nooo!” He whines. “I wanna stay here and kiss you in front of everyone.”

You finish your water, turning to face Jake with a fake frown and hands on your hips.

Jake’s sage green eyes light up in delight. “You look so hot when you do that.”

You glance around the group, watching as they smirk and stifle down laughs. Eyes falling on Bradley, you smile. “Thank you for volunteering to help me bring Bagman here to his car.”

“Fuck,” Bradley mutters.

Bradley helps you grab one of Jake’s arms and pull him toward the exit, Jake talking your ear off.

“Sparroooooow,” Jake says to your left. “You’re so soft! How do you do that?”

“It’s called a shower loofah,” you chuckle.

“And you smell sooooo nice,” he goes on. On the other side of him, Bradley laughs earning him middle finger from you. “Bradshaw, Rooster my boy, leave my girl alone. She’s mine!”

Bradley looks over at you, a smirk on his mustached lips. “Oh, is she now?”

“Yup!” Jake says, lips popping at the ‘P’. “She’s mine, but she doesn’t know it…so don’t tell her.”

Jake turns to you on his right and drawls, “What’s up, Y/N?! I didn’t see you there!”

“I’ve been here the whole time,” you groan, trying to unlock his truck to put him in the passenger seat.

“Do I get to be a passenger princess tonight?” He asks Bradley.

“It looks like it, man,” Bradley laughs.

“I’m gonna be the prettiest princess ever!” Jake exclaims, causing you and Bradley to exchange looks and try to choke down your laughs.

Jake focuses on you before adding, “Actually, my Sparrow here is the prettiest princess I’ve ever met and seen.”

“Okay,” you say, hoisting yourself over Jake’s lap to cock the seatbelt in place. “Let’s get you home.”

Before you can get off his lap, Jake wraps his arms around you and pulls you close. You’ve been close to him before, but this feels different.

He’s warmer than normal—which says a lot because Jake is a furnace. His eyes are bloodshot and glossy, making his green eyes appear even more green with a mix of blue. His face is clear, save for the blush on his checks from the alcohol.

Behind you, Bradley clears his throat. You turn in time to see him take a picture of you and smile. “I just want a picture to show your future kids.”

“Bradley…” you squint.

“Our kids?!” Jake exclaims excitedly. “Are you pregnant?!”

“Bradshaw!” You scold. “Look what you started!”

Jake is crying—still holding you—and touching your belly. “I’m gonna be a daddy!”

Bradley only laughs. “Have fun, mommy!”

“I hate you,” you mutter as you scramble out of Jake’s arms and around to the driver’s seat.

———

By the time you pull into the driveway of yours and Jake’s bungalow, Jake has calmed down—and sobered up—enough to get out of his seat and walk alongside you to the front door.

The night is quiet, warm air blowing around you both like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. You’re about to unlock the front door when you feel Jake’s eyes on you. Turning, you face him. His eyes are unreadable but his face gives himself away.

He remembers what he said fifteen minutes ago.

“Y/N,” he starts. “I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

You sigh, unlocking the door and pushing the door open. “You didn’t ruin my night.”

Jake gestures for you to enter the house first before following you inside. You feel him watching as you kick your shoes off and line them on the wall closest to the table in the entryway.

When you look up at him, you see a blush creep up his neck and ears.

“What?” You ask.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the prettiest person I’d ever seen,” he whispers. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Now it’s your turn to blush. You weren’t a bad looking person, but you never considered yourself to be the prettiest person in the world, much less Jake’s world.

You’d watched him flirt and pick up all sorts of beautiful women for the past few years. And never once did you think he’d find you equally attractive.

“Sure, Jake,” you mutter, beginning to turn away.

He stops you, grabbing your arm and twirling you to face him. He’s pulled you close to his body, warm and muscular.

Jake tilts your head to face him before saying, “I’m serious. Why do you think I haven’t been bringing so many girls over?”

It’s been a few months since you’d seen him with any women but that never clicked in your brain until now.

“So you’re saying you haven’t brought women over because you’ve been thinking of…me?” You clarify.

“That’s exactly it.”

“You’re drunk,” you tell him. “If you remember tomorrow morning, tell me you mean it.”

To your surprise, Jake smiles down at you. “I’ll remember.”

———

The next morning, Jake is in the kitchen making you both some French toast and bacon—the scent alone waking you from your sleep.

The sight of him dancing to “The Man” by The Killers makes you want to smile. He’s so carefree around you. That’s what drew you in to him when you first met.

Sure he was flirty, but as soon as you two got to know one another, he dropped the playboy act and was just…Jake.

“Are you making french toast?” You ask, laughing when Jake practically jumps a foot in the air.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he chuckles, grabbing his chest. “And yes, I’m making french toast with bacon.”

“Extra crispy for me?” You ask, jumping to sit on the counter next to him.

“Extra crispy for you,” he replies, a smile plastered on his handsome face.

“Cool.”

You watch for a bit as he finishes up the last of the bacon and french toast, admiring the way he relaxes to the beat of the next song playing on the speaker behind him. He’s nodding his head and mouthing the song, “Rock You Like A Hurricane”, while he places some pieces of bacon on a plate.

When he glances your way, he flashes you a quick smirk before opening your legs and stepping between them.

“What’re you doing?” You ask, hesitantly placing your hands on your lap.

Jake grabs your hands, wrapping them around his neck before placing his own on your hips.

Your heart is racing, every part of your body is vibrating under his touch—his gaze really—on you.

“Y/N,” he starts, looking uneasy. “I think you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever met and seen. I think you’re the sweetest person in my life and I think—no, know—that I have feelings for you. I only realized a few months back when I saw Bradley’s arm around your waist that I don’t want other people touching you.”

“Jake—”

“Let me finish,” he interrupts with a smile. “Deep down, I think I always knew you were the woman for me. I think that’s why I always tried to distract myself with other women but now that I finally realize it…”

Jake takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering a bit before they lock on yours again.

“I’m never letting you go.”

He watches you for a second, trying to read your face and you can’t help but smile after a bit.

“Jake,” You start. “I was just gonna tell you that I feel the same way.”

The smile on Jake’s lips widens before he pulls you in for a kiss. Soft and full of joy, you kiss him back.

He pulls away to look over your face before pecking you again and saying, “Now, let’s go eat so I can have dessert after.”

“Dessert?” You ask, brows knitted. “I don’t see anything out.”

“Who said it was food?”

AHHHHHH NOBODY TOUCH ME LOL anyway… check out my Masterlist!!! 💗💗

[emmyrosee]

✨shiu’s version✨

“But! But!”

“Baby,” shiu chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief, “it’s gotta come off, I’m sorry.”

He’s not exactly surprised this is your reaction, he’s had his mustache since the day you’ve met. Every kiss you’ve shared, every word he’s spoke to you, every time you’ve looked at him, his facial hair has been there.

And now he has to shave it off.

You pout at him softly, “it’s going to be so weird without it…”

He quirks a brow, “you’re not with me just for the facial hair, right doll?”

“No, but it does help!” You whine.

He snickers and shakes his head, “and now your loyalty is being put to the test. It’s going.”

You huff in annoyance and cross your arms, turning away from him childishly. He quirks a brow before leaning down to kiss you, which you don’t return. “Come on, don’t be a brat. You know it’s gotta come off.”

You sigh and gently press a kiss to his lips, even if just to feel the facial hair one last time. He smirks and presses one more, trailing his lips down your neck, where you giggle softly. “There’s my baby,” he hums, and you toss your arms around his neck to keep him close.

He entertains you for a bit, before finally pulling back with a sigh, “say goodbye, baby.”

You pout, “goodbye, the shiu I know and love.”

“You’ll love me ‘stacheless, I promise.” At his words, you pull a face, and he gently nudges your lip with his thumb before spinning on his heel to make his way down the hall.

He can’t remember the last time he was clean shaven, it was long and far from when you met him, but he could use the change.

He picks up the razor, rolls his shoulders for confidence, and gets to work.

The process doesn’t take long, a couple of nicks on his lip from the lack of experience, and within a few minutes, the deed is done.

“Baby?” He calls, wiping his face with a towel.

“No.”

He chuckles, “I’m coming out.”

“Stay in there.”

He exits the bathroom swiftly, and when you see him in your peripheral, your hands immediately fly to your eyes to cover them.

“You want to see it?” He asks, and with your hands childishly covering your eyes, you shake your head. He snickers and shrugs, “well, you’re going to see it at some point.”

“No I won’t,” you argue. “I’ll stay blindfolded forever.”

“What about the kisses that you beg and plead for? Won’t those pretty hands get in the way?”

You whimper in your throat before sighing and taking your hands off of your eyes, your eyes immediately darting to his upper lip and your face scrunches.

“Ohhh, it’s a baby!” You pout, reaching up to cup his face in your hands. He laughs as you whine, “god I’m dating a baby!”

“Don’t say that, it’ll get you on a list somewhere.”

“Shiuuuuuuhhhh,” you whine. “If you clench hard, will it grow back faster?”

He tips his head back in mock thought, “no. I don’t think so, angel.”

“Will you try?” You plead.

He sighs dramatically before looking down at you in amusement. “You know what? For you?” He leans down to kiss you again.

“Anythin’ doll.”

[captainmalewriter]

Made to Order

Franco pulled up to the apartment building of his latest client. He parked his car along the street and sent his client a quick text letting him know he had arrived. Franco then pulled out a pair of earphones from the glove compartment, connected them to his phone’s jack port, and put them on. He then booted up a survey app. It greeted him with a light blue screen and a ‘Hello!’ in a British accent. 

“Let’s see what kind of guy this dude paid good money to bang…” Franco muttered to himself as he pulled up the list of responses from the survey he sent to his clients. He scrolled to the latest data entry and skimmed it over. A grin formed on his face as he read it. 

“Alright then! No time like the present, let’s get to work.”

He downloaded the data entry into his phone’s local storage and composed it into an audio file. Once it was ready, Franco pressed ‘play’ and leaned back in his seat as the makeshift music began to fill his ears. He took a deep breath and cleared his mind of any and all thoughts, allowing the music to submerge his mind and body with powerful subliminal messaging. 

Gender: Male. Age: 24. Height: 6’4” ft. Weight: 170 lbs. 

Franco groaned as a cold chill ran up his spine. As he grew taller and heavier, the muscles in his legs rapidly flexed and relaxed. 

“Ohhh… Fuckk man…”

Franco couldn’t help but massage his aching body as he began to physically transform. He became hyper-aware of how his body felt and moved, which made touching his sensitive skin with his warm hands all the more pleasurable as it gradually changed. Franco moved the car seat back, as he needed the extra space to accommodate his sudden growth spurt. He gained several inches of height and about 30 pounds until he matched the size his client had requested. 

Hair Color: Brown. Eye Color: Green. Facial Hair? Mustache only. Body Hair? Yes.

The next few details of Franco’s client’s request rang in his ear and reverberated throughout his body. He gripped the sides of his seat as he felt his body working overtime to pump out heavy quantities of hormones. He winced in pain as his dark brown eyes changed colors. They became lighter and lighter in hue until they were a brilliant shade of green that glimmered in the sunlight. 

Franco’s hair was next to transform. The straight, black hair on his head grew lighter and curlier until he had wavy, brown hair. The skin on Franco’s upper lip tingled and itched as the hair follicles began rapidly growing in. Franco let out a heavy moan as his mustache hairs kept growing and growing until he had a thick mustache that hung over his lips. Once he had the right mustache, his underarm hair began growing, too. Franco only had a light dusting of pit hair, but thanks to his strange audio files, he could grow well past his natural limits. His armpit hair grew longer and thicker until he had a jungle of brown pit hair in his underarms. His pit hair had become so long that it even peeked out when Franco had his arms down!

Ethnicity: Mexican. Language: Spanish, or English w/ Accent. 

Franco let out a sigh of relief as he heard the next three lines of the audio file. Thankfully, the next transformation would be more mental than physical, which gave Franco a chance to take a quick breather. 

He relaxed against the headrest as the audio file echoed inside his mind. The more Franco heard his client’s preferences, the more his psyche changed to match his request. Suddenly, Franco was no longer a middle aged man from Midwest U.S.A. but a young Mexican man who had only recently immigrated into the country. His mind became filled with all sorts of new knowledge surrounding his Mexican heritage and culture, such as the Spanish language. 

“Mmm… Que rico…” Franco purred sensually as his throat muscles broadened and his vocal cords thickened, granting him the heavy accent his client had requested. The audio file also gave him a deeper voice too. Although that detail was more for Franco’s personal enjoyment than anything else.

But despite his newfound knowledge, there was only one thing the newly transformed Franco desired: to fuck as many men as physically possible. There was nothing he loved more than seeing a man pressed down against a pillow as he railed them to the next Tuesday. Just the thought of a man’s bubble butt swallowing his dick was enough to make him start leaking.

Size: 7.5 inches. Breed: Dom top. Body odor: YES.

While Franco was busy relishing his new voice and fantasizing about his next bottom, the next line of the audio file played, triggering the final piece of the transformation. Franco threw his head back as the next wave of bodily sensations caught him off guard. He let out loud, guttural groans as his manhood grew obscenely erect until it filled in his underwear. Franco massaged his sensitive, throbbing member as it grew longer and fatter than what he originally had. Before he knew it, Franco’s new endowment ripped the fabric of his briefs. His dick sprang to life like it was just begging to be released and played with as soon as possible! 

Franco wrapped his hand around his new dick and gave himself a few strokes just to test out his new tool. As he did so, a rank smell began to fill his car. It was sweaty, smelly, and addicting. That scent was none other than his natural body odor but kicked up to 100%. With the windows rolled down, Franco was becoming hot-boxed off his own tantalizing smell. Not that it really bothered him, as he was too busy admiring the glorious sight of his new, hung cock standing at full mast with a healthy bush of thick pubes to complete the look.

A tap on the window interrupted Franco’s moment of self-admiration. He glanced over and saw his client watching him with hungry eyes and a hand stuffed down his pants. Franco smirked, then rolled down his window.

“Hola papacito. ¿Te gusto?” Franco flexed his arms and winked at his client. The man nodded vigorously like a dog begging for a juicy steak. Then, he took a heavy whiff of Franco’s potent body odor and sighed, satisfied. 

“I can’t wait any longer! C’mon, let’s get you inside!!”

Franco grinned. He loved the whiny sound of a man begging to get fucked. He tossed his phone and earphones to the side and followed his client up to his apartment, where he proceeded to show him the dom Mexican top he requested to fuck him hard and raw. Another man made to order, another man satisfied.

[laniluvsuu]

Pony.

Southern Ony&Southern Eren x Blackfemreader!

Warnings: smut!!! Threesome, Creampie, Oral (M. Receiving), Riding. Language, Slapping/Spanking. Choking/neck gripping. Maybe some misspelled words. I think that’s it srry if I missed anything😣!

You felt eyes on you, eyes to your right to be exact. They’ve been looking at you this whole time, you’ve made eye contact once or twice.

“You boys know it’s rude to stare?” You said turning your head and meeting the eyes once again. Two sets, one pair was dark brown the other was emerald.

“Our fault pretty. It’s sure as hell hard not to when you look so gorgeous.” The man directly next to you said, while the one in the back nodded his head in agreement as he fixed his hat and placed his drink back down on the counter.

“I’m Eren.” He said with a smirk on his face, placing his hand out for you to shake. Eren was fine. With his long shoulder length dark brown hair, his emerald green eyes that never left your face, and the many tattoos that covered his arms.

“Hi Eren, im Y/N.” You said placing your hand into his to shake it, he didn’t shake your hand just held it while looking you in your eyes. There was a deep chuckle before you could get another word out and it was from the other man. He was now moving to the other side of you.

“Let’s not be selfish Eren. Im Onyankopon, but you can call me Ony.” He said as he took a seat next to you with his back facing the counter and his legs spread out while he lifted his hand up to you with a soft smirk. Ony looked good almost too good, with his cornrows, and his mustache and goatee combo that complimented his face. His gold nose ring that decorated his right nostril, the tattoos all over his arms and hands.

“Well then Ony, Eren. What y’all got planned for the night?” You said after shaking Erens hand and now placing your hand into Onys, waiting for their answer.

“You tell us Mama.” Ony said moving his head to lay on his shoulder, looking at the side of your face while holding your hand in his.

“Mmm..I wanted to give the bull a ride before the night was over.” You said reaching your free hand over to Eren’s head to grab his hat and place it on your head. Eren smirked at your actions, and then gave Ony a knowing look when the bull was brought up.

“Oh? We’ll make sure you get a ride before the night ends pumpkin.”

And they sure as hell did, took them back to your apartment and now you’re bouncing up and down on Onys dick your back facing his chest while Eren was standing infront of you, his dick touching your throat, all you could see was his ink covered chest and pelvis.

“Oh yeah darlin, just like that all the way down.” Eren groaned out as he let his blunt sit in his mouth as he moved his hands to the back of your head pushing you all the way down, your nose meeting with his pelvis. You gripped onto Onys legs beneath you as you stopped your movements on his dick and focused on Eren as tears spilled out of your eyes.

“Don’t stop, you know better.” Ony said as he slapped your ass and moved his hands to your waist moving you up and down. His thumbs pushing into your dermal piercings making you squeal out around Erens dick.

“Ohhh my god. F—fuck!!” You yelled out as soon as Eren let you go, you rested you head on Erens thigh and kept your hand stroking his dick while Ony fucked up into you, and moved his hand up to mess with your clit. “Nope mama. Head up. Don’t fucking drop your hat.” Ony said reaching his hand up to grip on your neck and force you to look up at Eren. Since you wanted to play with hats so bad earlier Onys making you wear his hat until y’all are done.

“Ouuhh..I’m g—gonna cum again!” You cried out to them feeling your lower stomach get hotter and that knot tightening, Eren moved his hand down to grip your face, and force you to look him in the eyes, he also passed the blunt that was once in his mouth into Onys hand that was once around your neck.

“You gonna cum for us babygirl?” He said as he tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes while he looked down at you, he grabbed his dick and tapped his tip on your lips twice. “You look so fucking gorgeous bouncing on his dick with my dick in your face. You’re such a fucking slut.” Eren groaned out at the sight below him.

“S-she’s so fucking tight. O-oh fuck!” Ony said as he looked down at where you two were connected, your pussy was practically drooling all over his dick, squeezing him so hard it felt like you were tryna milk him dry. The white ring around his dick from your pussy made him feel dizzy.

“O-ohh..she’s fucking creaming on my shit. Holy fuck. I’m gonna cum.” Ony said as he threw his head back, moving your hips harder and faster chasing his climax once he felt the coil in his stomach get tighter and hotter.

“You heard him babydoll, he’s gonna cum where you want it?” Eren said as he stroked his dick still looking at your face, smiling once he heard you moan out. “I-insidee…! Daddy please! Mmph!” Eren quickly put his dick back in your mouth before groaning at the feeling, squeezing his eyes shut once you moaned around his dick.

“You heard babygirl Ony, fill her pussy up while I work on her mouth.”

[stone-stars]

[warning: c3e69 spoilers]

Transcript:

Robert (Murph): I am Robert, the Young Stag. Callie (Emily): Calliope Petrichor, Knight of the Serpent Calder (Jake): Calder Kilde, also Knight of the Serpent. That was perfect. [The others laugh.] Sol (Caldwell): Sol Bufo-- likewise, similarly, Knight of the Serpent Robert: Knight of the Serpent and the Young Stag. Not bad, not bad. Sol: Got a ring! Murph: Um, as he says that, you see-- another halfling man that looks similar to Robert but older, gray mustache and gray hair. [Emily chuckles] Murph: His green armor is looking a little tight-- Emily: (amused) Fuck you. Murph: --he pushes through the crowd-- Emily: I know where this is going! Fuck you! Murph: (also amused) --to join the Young Stag-- [Caldwell laughs] Balnor (Murph): Oh, Bobby! There you are! [Emily and Caldwell cackle in glee] Jake: (yelling) What? What! What! Murph: And he looks up at you guys-- Balnor: If he's the young stag, then I guess I'm deer old dad! [Caldwell, Jake, and Emily laugh] Balnor: How you guys doing, the name's Balnor! Caldwell: Ohhh!! Emily: Fuck you! Jake: Calder cries. And he doesn't know why. Murph: You see this timeline's Balnor-- this timeline's Balnor, (smiling audibly) who got to grow up in the Feywild and lived this whole different life than the timeline he was pulled from in Campaign 1-- Emily: (gasps) Woahhh Murph: --reaches out to greet you. And that's where we'll end our session. Caldwell: Oooh, god! Emily: Wooow! Jake: I climb over everyone to take his hand! Caldwell: Yeah! [Everyone laughs]

[chukys-mouthguard]

surprised nobody wrote anything about cowboy rempe at the stampede. he looked 🙃. would love a written concept on bumping into him there and maybe he spills a drink on you but you end up getting dragged away and he catches up to you later on in the night and you end up dancing and maybe he even wins u a goofy prize playing ring toss or a corny game.🤠

step right up

1.7k words

pairing: matt rempe x female reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

note: i didn’t not proofread so i apologize for any mistakes 🫶🏼

Spinning around the dance floor, you grabbed a hold of your cowboy hat, holding it tight to your head as you swayed along to the familiar line dancing song. Trying your best to pick up the steps from your friend as she was the expert of the group, always prepared to break out any line dance she can at the drop of a hat.

Throwing your head back laughing you opted for doing your own thing, moving to the music as you sipped your drink. You had forgotten just how fun the Stampede could be; drinks, live music, fair food and games. It was the highlight of the summer.

“Oh shit-”

As you’d done one too many spins you found yourself crashing into a taller boy, towering over you as his chest was smacking you in the face. Your drink spilling all over your shorts, thank god they were black denim and it wasn’t too noticeable.

“I am so sorry, oh my gosh. Are you okay?”

You smiled up at him, laughing as you wiped your hand on your shorts, drying it as best you could though it would do nothing for the stickiness that would remain.

“I’m okay, honest. I’m the clutz not paying attention to where I’m spinning. Are you okay?”

Looking up at him you’d not noticed before how handsome he was. His black denim jacket just tight enough to show off his build, paired with a black t-shirt and blue jeans then topped off with a cream colored cowboy hat. He had a mustache that you’d found fitting on him, though you normally weren’t a fan. Perhaps it just looked good with his choice of outfit for the night.

“Me? Yeah, I’m great, no complaints. Um, sorry about your drink, and your clothes.”

You shrugged it off, little did he know you’d not paid for the drink so you didn’t mind. As the boy went to offer you a replacement your friends were pulling you off into the crowd as a familiar song began playing.

Waving him goodbye he softly smiled, mentally punching himself for not being quicker to speak and get your name. As he watched your figure fade into the crowd he sighed, hoping that somehow he’d cross your path again.

“Matt, dude, you good?”

Ty appeared at the boy's side, offering him a beer as he tried to pinpoint what his friend was looking at. Not seeing anything but a sea of people he gave up, now standing in front of Matt to try and get his attention.

“Sorry, um, yeah. I’m good.”

Matt made a point to keep his eye on you, hoping he’d have another chance to make up for his clumsiness. To get your name and drink order, perhaps even your number. But as he saw you and your friends heading for the door, he knew that window of opportunity was closing.

“Ty, let’s head out, yeah?”

Ty didn’t bother questioning Matt, assuming he’d grown tired of the bar they were at and wanted to make the rounds. Matt’s strides were swift as he maneuvered through the crowd of fairgoers, Ty having to rush to keep up. Unsure as to why Matt was in such a hurry, with it only being eight o’clock and the fairgrounds open until at least one in the morning.

Suddenly Matt came to a halt, Ty finally catching up to him as he followed Matt’s eyes. Seeing you and your friends crowded around a carnival game that surely was rigged. The objective? Knock down the milk bottles without them falling off the pedestal, practically impossible.

“Ohhh, I see. You’ve got your eyes on a girl huh?”

Matt smiled, slightly embarrassed as he tried to shrug off his friend’s comment. Watching you point out a stuffed animal elephant holding a peanut that you so desperately wanted. The only way to win that prize was to be absolutely perfect in the game, but with several drinks in your system, Matt could tell by your first throw you weren’t leaving a winner.

“I spilled my drink on her Ty, I wanted to try and repay her, but she left the bar before I could.”

“Soooo you’re stalking her now to buy her a ‘sorry I’m a tall lanky clutz’ drink?”

Matt shot Ty a glare at his comments, leaning against a nearby building as he continued watching your failed attempts at winning your desired prize.

“Not stalking Ty, simply a man after something he wants. And I hate to say, I want her number. She’s beautiful.”

Ty flicked the brim of Matt’s cowboy hat, rolling his eyes as he found a spot against the wall to reluctantly join him. “Okay lover boy, so what’s your master plan to get her number? Star at her from afar all night and hope she notices your eyes burning a hole in the back of her head?”

You’d handed another ten dollars to the worker, getting another three chances at the prize you’d been listing over. A smile on Matt’s face as he watched your friends giving you a pep talk, laughing at how hard you were working for this prize. Though he admired your persistence for the plush that surely wasn’t worth the money.

“Well, that’s thirty bucks down the drain. I need another drink!”

Matt watched as you and your friends made your way across the path to a new bar, finding a place at the counter to order a round of drinks. Once the game had been available and reset, he walked up to the counter to take his chances. Ty rolled his eyes with a groan as he joined Matt at the booth, praying that he’d somehow get lucky and win so that the boys could get back to drinking.

“I do not come to the Stampede for carnival games dude, and you’re twenty-two years old by the way. Trying to win an stuffed animal elephant for a girl…who if I had to guess-”

Ty glanced back at you and your friends tossing back shots at the bar, turning back to Matt as he studied the baseballs to find the perfect one to throw.

“She’s definitely at least twenty-one, maybe if we are lucky she is older and can get you to act your age for once.”

“Newsflash Ty, she was just playing this same exact game so shut your goddamn mouth for five minutes so I can concentrate.”

Matt took a deep breath, stretching his arm a bit as if he was getting ready to pitch the final game of the World Series. Ty just shaking his head, praying that no one passing by was catching a glimpse at how embarrassing this scenario was becoming.

“Fuck!”

Matt’s first throw not even close to the tower of milk bottles, a soft chuckle coming from Ty as he tried not to add to his friend’s frustration. Simply giving him some halfhearted words of encouragement as Matt picked up his next baseball.

As you finished your second drink at the bar, you glanced out at the crowd passing by, a tall figure catching your eye at the booth of the game you’d just thrown thirty dollars at. Only for you to realize it was the culprit who had spilled your drink at the previous bar, mainly since he was the tallest man at Stampede and was too hot not to notice.

You watched as he handed over another bill to the worker as he was handed three more baseballs, his friend clearly fed up with having to watch the taller boy failing continuously at the game. Chuckling to yourself you’d ordered another round of drinks for your friends, keeping an eye on the two boys wondering how long they’d keep at it before calling it quits.

The next ten or so attempts continued similarly to the first, only getting slightly better as Matt had managed to knock over a maximum of two of the three milk bottles, though they’d not stayed on the table as was the point of the game. Ty had grown restless as he watched Matt reach in his pocket for another ten dollar bill, patting him on the shoulder as he decided to head over to the bar you were occupying and grab a drink.

“Hey! Is he having any luck over there?”

You smiled at Ty as he shook his head, throwing a shot back before he leaned against the bar to see Matt still trying his darndest to win you a prize.

“Well he’s doing it all for you, you know? He’s dropped like almost fifty bucks all to make up for your ten dollar drink he spilled on you back at the other bar.”

Your eyes went wide as you looked at Matt, seeing him hang his head as he’d thrown away another ten dollars in failed attempts. Needing to put a stop to things before he dropped a hundred dollars trying to win you a no more than fifteen dollar stuffed animal that you did not need in the slightest.

“Hey, cowboy.”

Matt turned to see you now next to him, a smile on his face as you were the last person he expected to see at his side.

“What the hell are you doing over here?”

“Isn’t it obvious, trying my luck at becoming an MLB pitcher.”

You laughed at his sarcasm, seeing a ten dollar bill in between his fingers and quickly reaching for it. Tucking it in the breast pocket of his jean jacket, leaving him with a confused look on his face.

“While I appreciate you embarrassing yourself at this carnival game that is surely rigged just to repay me for a drink…did you ever think of just buying me a drink?”

Matt scratched his head as he’d realized that would’ve been the logical thing to do, despite Ty telling him several times it had only gotten through to him coming from you.

“I mean, that would’ve been the more obvious route to take. But, I wanted to stand out I guess? Be different than just another guy offering you a drink?”

Nodding your head you smiled up at him, his smirk causing you to blush but luckily your cowboy hat hid your cheeks from him.

“And how did that go? Wanting to be different and all?”

“Wanting to be different ran me about fifty bucks.”

He awakedly rubbed his hands together, watching as you reached towards his pocket pulling the ten dollar bill from it and flashing it at him between two fingers.

“Well, lucky for you the drink I like will only cost you less than ten.”

[eddiegettingshot]

literally bobby just told him he didn’t like his mustache. and buck was busy whining about his curse. and nobody is stopping to be like ohhh hmm… eddie sure is experiencing torture beyond belief… maybe someone should make sure he knows he isn’t deplorable and damaged beyond repair…? Like this is literally how it is right now. FUCK

[theoddbun]

Baguette? 🥖

OHHH YES I LOVE BAGUETTES THANK YOU EMMET WITH A MUSTACHE!!! ❤️

[royalarchivist]

Mike: Oh, why is Richas- why everyone is pink?! Is it because of the Valentine's Day?

Mine: It's because of the Goddess!

Fit: Oh yeah, 'cuz of Valentine's Day.

Mike: Hi Ramon! [Gives Ramon a hug]

Fit: [Gasps] OHHH- he's got the pink mustache!

Mine: Everyone's possessed by the Goddess today.

Mike: Yeah!!! Yeah!

Mine: [Laughs] Hi Ramon! Hi baby!

Mike: It looks very stylish though!

Fit: Yeah

Mine: Hi Pepito!

[orderforbrian]

Day 6 - Time Travel for @jonmartinweek!

im late again but only bc i drew waayyy too much for this lol - i couldnt help it tho i really love those kid-centric aus where jon and martin's future kids come visit their s1 selves - they're just full of so many cute moments and little jokes 🤭 i'm also just a sucker for anything jmart kid related. plus watching s1 jon and martin, who have budged hardly an inch past absolute loathing, grapple with the fact they not only get married in the future but have KIDS too is soooooooo good 😆they get to talking and realize "oh god you really are my ideal partner ohno OHHH NOO"

[Start ID: Multiple images of Jon and Martin from The Magnus Archives as well as their future children for an AU. Jon is a thin Persian man with dark, curly hair streaked with grey and rectangular glasses. Martin is a fat, mixed Polish/Korean man with dark brown, wavy hair, browline glasses, and a beauty mark by his lip. 1st image: Jon and Martin are sitting at a wedding table decorated with flowers, a plate with half eaten cake, and a green napkin. Jon is wearing a white shirt with a dark green bowtie, his hair is slicked back into a low bun with some styled stray hairs. His black suit jacket covers the chair behind him. He has light beard and a gold column earring. Martin is wearing a white shirt with a dark blue bowtie, his hair is styled back as well and he wears a gold diamond drop earring. They sit side by side, noses almost touching - Jon smiles wholesomely at Martin, holding up a coupe glass of champagne, and Martin smiles back with his eyes closed, left hand resting around the base of his own coupe glass. Jon's left hand sits on top of Martin's, each hand has a gold band on the ring finger. The drawing looks like a polaroid, Jon's handwriting at the bottom says "Jonathan and Martin Blackwood-Sims. June 27th, 2023." Martin has placed a red heart sticker and written "J+M" in blue marker on the photo. 2nd image: Jon and Martin are older and pose with their children on their backs. Their children, Mina and Jules, have dark, curly hair like Jon's, Mina has a beauty mark by his right eye and Jules has one on her left lower cheek. In this image Mina has her hair tied back into two pigtails and is smiling with one tooth gone. She wears overalls with a scalloped shirt, a sensory bracelet on her right wrist, and sneakers. She is riding on Martin's back, gripping his shirt with one hand and lifting up the other one behind his head, laughing loudly. Martin side eyes her with mirth, his hair is more choppy and down past his shoulders, he has a patchy beard, and wears a simple lined shirt. In this image, Jules has her hair tied back into a ponytail and is wearing a t-shirt, jean shorts and sneakers with a star on them. She sticks her tongue out towards the camera and winks one eye, both her arms are laced around Jon's neck. Jon's hair is past his ears and he has a fully grown mustache and beard, he wears a collared short sleeve shirt. Underneath ths photo Jon writes "Picnic after 2nd year primary. Mina (7) Jules (8)." Martin has drawn a yellow sun and written in blue marker "too old!!" and a crying face. 3rd image: Mina and Jules (off frame) hold up multiple photographs to younger Jon and Martin (season 1). Martin is wearing a collared shirt and his hair is side parted, cut just past his ears. Jon has his hair slicked back aside from a couple large curls at the front and wears a suit jacket, collared shirt, tie, and vest. Martin and Jon stare down at the photos with flustered surprise, confusion, and disbelief, both blushing. Martin pinches one of the photos with his right hand. Jon holds his glasses in his right hand.

4th image is a 7 panel comic. Mina and Jules both wear glasses and school uniforms with a backpack, Mina wearing a tie and vest, her hair done in two braids, and Jules wearing a collared shirt and tie, her hair in a bob with two clips. 1st panel: Jules outstretches her hand while looking angry at Mina who is looking away with a huff. "We would've gotten here way sooner if you didn't have to stop and pet that dumb dog!!". 2nd panel: Jon crosses his arms and sneers at Martin, who is looking unimpressed and annoyed and holding a tea mug. "They get that from you...". 3rd panel: Mina points at Jules and retorts "Well if you weren't so impatient we wouldn't have gotten caught, stupid!!". 4th panel: Martin lifts up the tea mug to take a sip and shoots back to Jon, who frowns, "They get that from you...". 5th panel: Mina and Jules yell at each other with closed eyes and hunched shoulders, "UGH!!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ARGUING WITH ME!!!". 6th panel: A simplified drawing of Jon and Martin, one speech bubble connecting both of them saying "They get that from you". 7th panel: Jon and Martin whip around and stare at each other with offended anger, saying "ME?!".

5th image is of Mina and Jules in full color. They have the same descriptions as in the comic, the school uniform is a purple gray, the skirts plaid. Mina wears a green colored sensory bracelet and Jules wears a blue colored one. Mina has a nervous frown, a couple sweat marks coming off her head, while Jules smiles with quiet confidence, a couple gold sparkles by her head. They hold hands in the middle, Jules is slightly taller than Mina. Above Mina are the following words: Mina (Mia) *younger sibling *a bit shy *fave color is green *loves when Dad does her hair. Above Jules are the following words: Julia (Jules) *older (by 11 months) *more adventurous *fave color is blue *loves when Baba buys her ice cream. End ID.]

[blueishspace]

Mercy of a god p4

*You make it out completely unharmed... Somehow, to be honest you can't explain how you managed to kill the cultists either... You also realize you are now lost somewhere in the woods...great*

Mumbo: Hello there!

*Suddenly a tall man with an... interesting mustache literally emerges from the ground, they are wearing a suit and tie of sort with a crown shaped pin*

Mumbo: Oh... Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, Scar.

*And they know your name?... How?*

Scar: Who are you?

Mumbo: Oh right... I am Mumbo, I was sent here by Gri-The One who Watches to help you.

Scar: The One Who Watches?

Mumbo: The god who brought you back to life and gave you a crown?

Scar: Ohhh! Reaper guy! He didn't really introduce himself.

Mumbo: ... ...You were going to start a cult in his name without knowing his name?

Scar: Not my fault he didn't tell me!

Mumbo: . . . You didn't ask?-

Scar: ANYWAY... He sent you?

Mumbo: Yes, there is a lot to explain.

*He motions for you to follow him, you do*

*After a few seconds of silence Mumbo opens his mouth*

Mumbo: I used to wear that crown before you.

Scar: Huh?

Mumbo: Yeah... It didn't really work out, couldn't mesh with the crowns domain well enough. So I made a deal with The One Who Watches, I relinquished the crown and was made into a teacher for the next vessel who would come... You.

Scar: So you are like a mentor! I see!

Mumbo: I guess so... prefer not to call myself that mate, you know those never last long.

*You nod sagely*

Scar: So...where are we going.

Mumbo: An ancient forgotten temple... It's abandoned now...deserted. Safe from the god's worshippers.

Scar: Safe...alright.

*The two of you venture deeper*

*As you make your way trough the forest you hear screams, investigating reveals another man tied to rocks and about to be sacrificed.*

Mumbo: Well mate, thats not good.

Prev Next First

Scar - Newborn god.

Stats:

[stevenssticks]

hi P!! hope you’re doing well, i saw the ask abt headcannons and i just NEED you to do black album era kirk as a bf. i’ve become so obsessed with that era- LIKE HIS LITTLE MUSTACHE, UGH.

OMG OMGOMGOMG! (that first photo woah)

kirk’s mustache👹👹👹👹 i’m such a whore for mustaches yghhhh okay i’m gonna split this up into sfw and nsfw just so that you can stop when you want

SFW

- so so touchy!!! loves to have a hand around your waist<3

- oh and when he kisses you he loves to make you laugh bc of the tickle from his mustache. it always brushes up against you and you pull away and make a disgruntled little noise and rub your upper lip bc sometimes it irritates you.

- he can’t ever stfu about his interests and nor can you so the two of you are together you bounce off each other if yknow what i mean. the two of you both get so excited abt things and the rest of the band smile at the two of you as you enthusiastically talk with each other. so into yourselves you don’t focus on anything else.

- walk in a park enthusiast. where he again gets to talk his ass off as the two of you mosey around. yeah.

NSFW

- sensual as hell in bed. rose petals and candles type of guy esp on anniversaries/valentines/birthdays

- has your favorite scents memorized for that reason. you have a collection of different sized candles all of the same like three scents you said you liked and he really took that seriously okay. he takes it upon himself to light them on special occasions and then ravishes you. it makes for quite a night.

- loves giving head more than he likes receiving. he can get off just by eating you out and rubbing himself against the sheets. his hands would roam all over you and ohhh if you close your thighs around his ears he’s cumming on the spot. he’s sooo gone.

- praise over degradation here with this guy. nuff said. would much rather call you pretty girl, beautiful, etc. when he does choose to degrade you it’s PRETTY slut okay.

- his moans are high and whiney or they’re grunts

- eye!!! contact!!! he needs to see that you’re feeling good!

- when he IS receiving he loves to feel you up. pulling your hair, caressing your cheek. there was this one time where he slipped his thumb into your mouth next to his cock to feel it slide in and out and ohhhh he came so fucking quick.

- two rounds typa guy. but like i’m talking two in the evening, 5 hours of sleep, two in the morning. he doesn’t need a full 7-8 hours to be up and going again. esp when he’s that head over heels for you.