#OHHH BOY FELLAS THIS MAY BE IT....

[skyplayssplatoon3]

Potential FinalFest Spoiler

This one's a doozy, and features datamined information from the latest update

Please do not click below if you dont want to be spoiled!!

Dataminer ashbinary has found data within the game that has revealed not only Frosty/Splatoween fest data being put into the game (so repeat or new themes incoming?)

But data for a FOURTH plaza, all on its own...

While nothing is 100% set in stone, it's becoming eerily clear what this means

All three idol groups, all performing in one separate plaza from the other three

Idolfest Is Coming..........

[slashingdisneypasta]

MultiVillains x Reader || Reactions

Topic: You move into an apartment in a dodgy neighbourhood.

Characters Included: (Rarin'-to-Fuck) Buck, Dr Peter Andover, Erik Destler, Freddy Krueger, Bonus!Jason Voorhees, Ian Essko, Bonus!Madame Blavatski, Inkubus, Jim Bickerman, Bonus!Reba, Doom Room's MC, Minister Kratski, Stuart Lloyd, Wayne Jackson, Bonus!Norman Tyrus and Bonus!Dale Acton.

Tagging: @ghouletka , @grav3yardgirl , @marinerainbow , @masqueradeball , @thecourtofgraywaves , @yesthetrashbin and @your-mxnd-is-mxne .

Rarin'-To-Fuck Buck: *Stays right by the window where he can see his car so it doesn't get stolen* "Uh... nice place... " (You: Thank you! I was so jazzed to find it on the market!, it has a dishwasher and everythin- ) "I was kidding Y/N this place is a fucken dump. Lets go- "

Dr Peter Andover: "... no." (You: What. But- ) "We have rooms at the clinic, you can stay there." (You: I cant live at the clinic- ) "Ohhh yes you can."

Erik Destler: "Oh, this is near to the brothel I used to- Ehem. I mean, Y/N this is a very nice, uh... home... you found, here... " || He wants to sweep you away but also he doesn't want you questioning him on that first bit XD So I guess he's just gonna have to stalk you all the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ With love. For your safety.

Freddy Krueger: "You couldn't find an actual house?? Oh, and wouldja look at that! Guys with guns. *Waiving out the window* Hey fellas- " (You: Newsflash Fred its not the 60's anymore old man and you cant just b u y a h o u s e !! And put your hand down- )

Jason Voorhees: *Nope. No- Jason will not let you stay here XD He takes one look around, picks you up, and leaves.*

Ian Essko: "What filthy-fucking-hell... Oh! Wait wait wait- " (You: Don't you dare take out that black light Ian.) "What? Afraid of what you'll find in this house of horror!??"

Madame Blavatski: "Oh- this is nice. Lovely. I lived in a home just like this in my stripping days in Russia! Very lovely, very good. And you have drug dealers just two doors down, which is convenient. I already visited, they're very nice boys, and I bought you welcome-to-area 'blow'- da? They even gave discount!" *head pats*

Inkubus: *He's very calm, listening to you talk about it and show him all around, until the very end* "Y/N, love, may I ask something of you right now?" (You: Oh- sure? ^^) "Wonderful. Uh, don't be here between eleven and 3 tomorrow." (You: Why?- ) "Mmm, no particular reason... do you think these beams are good and flammable?" || If it is not clear- the man is going to burn your apartment building down so you don't live here, anymore.

Jim Bickerman: *He's been walking around peering out the windows shaking his head. When he finally looks at you waiting for his thoughts, he flashes a big smile.* "We're going gun shopping." (You: Oh no we are NOT- )

Reba: (You: So! ^^ What do you think?) "... well I noticed the police station a block away, I liked that feature."

The Doom Room's MC: "Well its better then my place, at least."

Minister Kratski: *not getting outta the limo*

Stuart Lloyd: "Y/N I saw some hooligans just down the street with switchblades. I don't think this area is safe." (You: Oh don't worry, I have a plan! ^^) "*Genuinely relieved* oh, great. Wh- what is it?" (You: I got these really big ass boots from the charity store- and I'm going to keep them just outside my door so everyone walking by thinks a lumberjack lives here!) "... ... Y/N- "

Wayne Jackson: *He's very quiet. Just wandering in and out of rooms, lookin' around* (You: ... Wayne, is everything okay?) "... preeetty sure I lived here in the 70's. Cant be sure, though." (You: Oh- ) *Pulls an open door away from a wall* "Ah! I did! Heheh, I made that w in bullet holes."

Norman Tyrus: "... no." (You: Norman- ) "Nope." (You: Not another place, Norman- ) "You're moving. You're not staying here." (You: I'm gonna stop showing you my new places.) "How about ya just find a place that doesn't have bullet holes in the front fucken door?" Dale Acton: "OH!!! I know those guys upstairs, I used to buy coke from them a couple years back! Until a deal fell through at least... hey, don't tell 'em you're with me. You'll be fine. We probably shouldn't be seen together, though, so uh... bye babe- "

[madebyteenagefury]

unfiltered first reactions to gpi as if i were livetweeting because i think it would be funny (spoilers below!!):

are these 12 year olds or do they just talk like that.

can i touch it, dawg WHAT

dont even know their names but i already love em and only want happiness for them (may be because they strike me as children) (update they were children)

why did bro bite his hand

WHERES THE OTHER BED GOING. NO. HOSPITAL?? NO!! NOT AGAIN :SOB:

i need subtitles oh my god,,,ADULTS NOW!! i see. doug. theyre in suits and he has a bandage yall boutta kiss rn?? OHHH FUCK ohhh oh man. boutta be so fucking sick over doug aw shit

"his name is assface!" oh babe.

"you know." oh BABE. oh fuck.

think about what all the time???????????????? THINK ABOUT WHAT??????????

this is so 'are they lovers' 'worse' and nothings even happened but so much has happened.

ooooh five years

corey. THEY KISSED(before)!!! FUCK!!! MISSING TOOTH!!!

this hurts ohmy god. screaming. theyre gone.

two beds again?? are we flitting between times. 13 ahh yes we are oh i love this so much. what if i hit corey with the autism beam. what then. doug is so me im gonna lose my mind. like when theyre kids. auughh

DO YOU WANNA PRACTICE KISSING?/ SAWG???god thats the gayest shit ever. everyone who says that never means it casually change my goddamn mind YOU CANT/lh doug fucking w first kiss logic is hilarious yes king.

oh my god hes throwing up. DOUG NOO AHAHAH. fellas is it gay to throw up in the same can after kissing.

augh one bed again OUGH HOSPRIALo ohh no. 28. dont do this to me. not after falsettos.

hey again! hes not responding. kms. NOO IS HE IN A COMA OH FUCK

"im trying not to swear so much" giggled

"her"?? dawg no way THEY HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER SINCE HIS EYE??? oh fuck me man. babe stop saying rtrded please. hes moisturizing his fucking hand oh. MY GOD.

you cant marry her cuz what about me?? SAY YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY FUCK

OOO TWO BEDS. THEYRE CLOSER!!!! ONE BLANKET!! OOOOO!!

18 fuckin called it. 10 yrs ago. thin mints slap hes so real for that. the knocking on his cup shouldnt have tbeen that funny. giggled. okay theyre so besties but like this is so gay. bestie behavior but. they love eachother. (doug is mad about not knowing that corey's been having sex, which like id be upset if my bestie didnt tell me too i get it but correct me if im wrong, this feels insanely jealous

"cuz youre too youung!" YOURE FUCKING EIGHTEEN???

im so sick over doug HES SO ME FUCK ok fuck.

im so. insane. fuck. "whys everyone gotta be so mean?"

"youre not a faggot. youre not" ohhh ow. oh oh my god

okau so when he says :you have blood on your jeans. when did you start [that]: i cant make out what he says or what theyre talking about im assuming its sh??? if so?? fucking ow kill me??????

timing of me watching this. fucking wild. did not want to cry tn (im not but were dangerously close to it)

I CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS OH GOD

milo when i get you. milo when i fucking. get you./lh

"youre the best thing thats ever happened to me" after THAT?? FUCK ME MAN WHAT THE HELL

he better be fucking awake or i swear to god.

33 OH FUCK MANHES HAWAKE HES AWAKE OH FUCK OH THANK GOD. FIVE YEARS AGO/?? COREY VISTED HIM FIVE YEARS AGO. is he in a mental hospital?? oh boy. these boys are fucked up.

theyre fucking soulmates. i will NOT be taking criticism. WHY ARE YOU LYING YOU BEGGED HIM TO WAKE UP ASSHOLE. doug makes me want to hold my own heart in my hands and feel it beat. dawg why u lying.why is corey mean to him :(

ohh parallels. oh they. hurt. differenty. but the same. ohhhh my god

"because i might not make it back"

if one of them fucking dies. i stg. 23 10 yrs back. wait this is the first bit again/? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TOOTH. DUDE. OH FUCK.

criyng at dougs speech after the kiss.

oh fuck OFF. only the poster wtf

i need the playlist they got. 38,,,

i went "hes fucking dead isnt he" and he rolls in. "im gonnakms"

"dont touch me corey" sobbing.

pleading with my screen for it not to end like that and its over.

milo. oh my fucking god

[staytiny-angel]

Shine a Light 1/?

Rating: Explicit eventually T right now

Pairing: Polyam!Stray Kids/OFC (M/M included), Ateez Ensemble & OFC (friendship)

Warnings for this chapter: Panic Attack

Summary: Celeste "Cece" Cloud's life changes forever when 8 of the 16 men who saved her life with their music walk into her small town diner

Taglist: @axelwolf8109 @moxxieswitchblade @dreamlesswonder86 (ask if you want to be added)

Part 1. Maknae on Top

"So where are we again?" Felix asks Chan.

"Lawrence, Kansas?" The leader answers, sighing. "The driver says we may as well find somewhere to hang out while they either find us another bus or fix this one" he continues. 

"He suggested that diner on the corner," Changbin says in Korean.

The 8 men pull their masks up and hats down as they walk towards the quaint little diner on the corner of Main St. 

"This place is cute!" Jisung says as they walk in 

"Welcome to Utopia Diner! Table for 8?" An older black woman says as she greets them.

"Yes!" Chan immediately answered and the woman lead them back to a large table by the kitchen window. 

"Here's your menu, sweeties," she says, passing them out. "We've only have one cook on duty right now so it might be a bit slow, sorry about that! I can get your drinks though!" 

The 8 men conferred before ordering a variety of drinks and food. While they were talking amongst themselves I.N. caught the strains of a very VERY familiar tune coming from the kitchen. 

"Do you hear that?" He immediately says to Seungmin in Korean. Seungmin listens closely and begins to smile "Maknae on Top?" He says in English

 

"OH?" said the waitress whose nametag read Rosie ``Do you fellas know that Kpop stuff? Boss Lady loves it! She's turning me to her side slowly but surely, some of its pretty catchy! This place is even named after some Kpop song by I think A...teen, no that's not it, Ateez! Anyway, I'll get those drinks and tell Boss to get started on your food" 

Rosie opens the kitchen doors and sure enough Maknae on Top is being blasted at high volume by whomever is cooking. 

"A Stay owns this restaurant!" Hyunjin says "What are the chances?" 

Chan looks at the door warily, it's not that he was unhappy that this mysterious boss lady was apparently both a Stay and an Atiny, it's that he was hoping they could keep this whole ordeal under wraps. 

Before he can make a decision on what to do the kitchen doors open again but instead of Rosie a tiny, yet curvy black woman walks out carrying a tray of drinks. She's shorter than any of them and has a head full of dusty pink highlighted brown hair tied up in a bandana with what Chan thought was the BTS logo printed all over it. 

"Maknae on Top, ohhh ohh oh oh Maknae on Top" The eight men could hear her softly sing as she looked around before heading towards their table. 

"Drinks for 8...." The woman froze for a moment as she looked at them before carefully placing the tray of drinks on the table. "Can you excuse me? I'm so sorry I have to..." she says before running away, not towards the kitchen but a back room. 

Seconds later everyone in the restaurant hears a scream of "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!?!"

"Do you think she recognized us?" Jisung says laughing so hard he's leaning on Minho who's hand is covering his mouth trying to hold back his own laughter.

A few moments later, the woman comes back out. She heads directly to where Rosie is standing there cackling like a loon and gently smacks her older friend in the shoulder. 

"I can't believe you!" She whisper-shouts. "You know who they are?!?!"

"Cece baby, I only saw one of their faces but it happens to be the one whose picture is hanging from your purse so I made an educated guess about the others" Rosie says still laughing softly

"Go back over there and meet your heroes" Rosie says, grabbing Cece by the shoulders and turning her towards the boys.

"Wait, no they like their privacy I don't wanna be that Stay" Cece pleads as Rosie slowly but surely pushes her to their table 

"Gentlemen this is Cece the owner of this fine establishment, Cece....Stray Kids," she says laughing "I'll get started on their food" she says before walking away leaving Cece staring at 8 of the 16 men who'd to be quite honest saved her life with their music

"I can totally pretend I'm not a Stay and not completely freaking out right now?" She offers, shrugging. 

"Calm down little Stay you're fine" Chan says immediately, instinctively comforting the frazzled looking woman.

"I'm Cece, - Celeste actually - and this is Utopia, - um yeah you probably knew that -, sign on the door and all that…what the hell are you guys doing here of all the places? The next 5 Star tour dates are in Chicago. I know I have tickets to both days" she takes a deep breath

"I'm sorry" she says quieter. "I'm getting very," she waves her hands around cutely "Excited" 

Chan smiles and moves over gesturing for her to sit between him and Changbin. Cece looks hesitant, almost like she's going to run again before she takes another deep breath and sits between the two idols. 

"Our bus…it got stuck." Changbin says, taking a sip of his drink.

"Ooooh, So you guys were just passing through?" Cece asks

Chan nods "We decided to take the scenic route to Chicago because we had the time and…well it's a little more scenic than we originally thought it would be"

Just as she was about to ask another question an upset looking older Korean man bursts through the doors of Utopia heading straight for the table of nine 

Chan stands up "What's wrong Manager-ssi?" 

The man answers back in Korean of which Cece can only catch a few words with her limited knowledge of the language but from what she can gather the tour bus is irreparably broken right now and they can't get another one for 2 days. The boys have the choice to fly to Chicago right now from Lawrence's tiny airport or wait for the bus and spend two days in the tiny college town she called home.

"We're stuck here for 2 days?" Felix asks in English 

"Yes. We could get you and some of your luggage and things on a plane but even that wouldn't be until tomorrow and you couldn't bring everything so you'd still be waiting for the bus for all your belongings" the manager explained to the entire group before looking at Cece oddly "I'm sorry who are you?" 

"This is Cece, she owns this restaurant," Seungmin said. "She's one of our Stay." He said, smiling at her. 

"You live in this town then?" The Manager asked in English, continuing when Cece silently nodded "Do you have any suggestions for where the boys and their crew could spend the night?" 

"Yeah there's a fancy Hilton right outside of town but we only have one cab service and the public buses shut down…20 minutes ago" she said looking at her watch,

 "You could drive the catering van? Take them in that?" Rosie said popping up out of nowhere. 

"I don't think…" Cece started to say 

"No, no if you have a vehicle that could transport all of us…please" the manager said.

"We're still open for another hour and I haven't even fed you oh no" Cece says starting to freak out and play with her fingers.

 "Hey, it's okay…" Jisung immediately tried to calm her down, seeing the warning signs of a panic attack. 

Chan gently grabs her hands, stopping them from waving "Why don't you and Rosie make us some food to go?"

"I'm actually almost done with their order" Rosie says "I can pack it up no problem" 

"See? Everything is fine, little Stay." Jisung says "Take a breath"

Cece takes a breath and unconsciously leans her head against Changbin's shoulder, who smiles and hesitantly pets her head. 

"We got you little Stay, we'd appreciate it if you gave us a ride" he says

She nods "I can do that" she whispers.

Rosie smiles at the scene and quietly makes her way back to the kitchen to finish cooking and packing up not only the boys meals but a meal for Cece, knowing her friend would need to eat as well. 

"I should get my purse and keys" Cece says getting up and heading to her office leaving the guys and their manager alone for a moment 

"She's cute!" Jisung says as soon as she's out of earshot.

"She is!" Felix agrees 

"Hmm" Minho murmurs looking at Hyunjin who has a smirk on his face.

"You two will not" Chan says looking at his two most troublemaking boyfriends 

Their manager looks on exasperatedly and groans "Make sure she agrees to sign an NDA" he says before walking out of the restaurant to coordinate everything.

Changbin just shakes his head "Don't play your games with her. She's too sweet." 

"I'll be nice I promise" Minho raises his hands innocently 

Hyunjin just shakes his head. He actually thinks he likes this Stay, it's a new feeling for him. He feels…protective over her already in a way that was reserved for his boyfriends

Cece comes back out into the dining room her hair down around her shoulders and a pair of cute pink and black glasses on her face, carrying a BT21 mini backpack that has several Photo Card holders dangling from its straps. 

"So fucking cute…" Minho whispers in Korean. 

"I'm ready as soon as Rosie finishes up in the kitchen" She says dropping back into the seat between Chan and Changbin. 

Jisung reaches over and tugs on the strap of her purse. "Photo Cards?" 

"I carry my biases yes" She says shyly. 

"RM-sunbaenim, Hongjoong-hyung and Binnie-hyung?" He says looking at his boyfriend.

Binnie perked up at this "I'm your bias?" 

Cece head dropped in her hands "OT8, but I bias all of 3Racha actually" she murmurs 

Chan and Jisung both reddened at this revelation 

"So you have a thing for rappers?" Minho says with a grin. 

Cece groans "Yeah….I can't believe this shit" 

"Here yall go!" Rosie comes out of the kitchen carrying a box filled to the brim with Styrofoam containers which Binnie stands up and takes from her

 "The van is out back," Rosie says "That manager of yours is already back there loading it up, I gave him the spare key when he came round the back, a cute one that is"

"Rosie, please!" Cece yells 

"I'll shut it down tonight, and Finn will be back tomorrow so you don't have to open" Rosie tells her "Have fun y'all" she says with a wink.

[tsuki-sennin]

United as one! Ohsama Sentai... King-Ohger! Still reeling from the truth behind Gira's origins, the four rulers have defeated the Bugnarok once more through... less than efficient means, speaking charitably. However, their clashing egos may prove to be the least of their concerns as they stand against Racules and Desnarak. Kamejim, using the chaos of the battle as a smokescreen, breaks into Gokkan's capital and swipes a mysterious amber-like object related to God Scorpion. What dangers await our heroes as the battle rages on? For what reason does Racules betray Gira and his own countrymen? To whom goes the future of Shugoddam?

All that to say, "Spoilers, I guess"...

-"Rita turned Gira into a snowman and re-established his claim to the throne." Understood.

-Welcome home, Prince Gira.

-Kogane-san! Buun-kun!

-Gira-Ouji!

-Gira-oujisama!

-The people love the prince!

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

-Yeah Zenryoku King is a certified bop.

-OujI! Ouji! Ouji! Ouji! Ouji!

-Stoooop!

-Oh hello, Desnarak. I uh... hope I get to know you a little better, we've been so focused on Racules I think I don't really register you.

-Rita Rolllin'

-Thank you, Mofurun

-Oh my god, they got an Android.

-I know an Android phone when I see one.

-Oh! Okay, going giant already I see!

-Oh that's neat, time zones.

-Siege on Giant.

-"Don't even think about disarming those bombs! They'll go kaboom~!"

-"Gira Hastie! Deliver him to us!"

-Oh, off he goes!

-Yanma jumpscare.

-"I became buddies with the bug-"

-"No you did not!"

-I think filial piety kinda goes out the window when your brother commits high treason and acts of war, Yanma.

-Gira goes!

-"President Yanma! Prince Gira! We welcome you!"

-Diplomacy, once more!

-Goddamn, Rita and Kaguragi gotta have some muscle on them if they can hold Gira back like that.

-Oh fuck off Racules, you manipulative fuck hjklhg

-Man, family drama's hot on Super Hero Time.

-Holy shit, Douga did that like it was nothing.

-"Back to work, ladies!"

"Kogane-neesan... should we be evacuating from that big coccoon thing?"

-"Mmmmm... eehhhhh, it'll be fine~! Don't worry about it, Buun-kun~!"

-Chained once more.

-HE DOESN'T EVEN GET A CHAIR

-Himeno what the fuck, give him a chair.

-Girls who go Eh?

-Boys who go AH!?

-He/Theys who go Otto...

-She/Theys who go "We're fucked."

-God Scorpion. A biggun.

-Rita, babe, I don't think this Quintet Alliance thing is gonna work.

-Ohhhhhh!

-Well, that was to be expected.

-"You losers are on your own. King-Ohger belongs to the state."

-Well, time to fight!

-Oh

-Did you

-Oh my god, you stuck the swords in the pedestals

-"King-Ohger is my God."

-HIMENO-

-Gira I don't think Kuwagon can just come whenever you call. I mean, he's very impressive but like, he's not a dog.

-OH NEVER MIND

-"Don't you dare take my beloved!"

-"Holy shit, that guy can speak bug."

-Sasorinne?

-Ooooooh!

-"Ohhh, you looking for this, sonny?"

-"YOU FUCK-!"

-Time to throw the fuck down.

-Show us what you got, Kamejim!

-Oooooh!

-These're some spicy battles.

-Quite a slippery little stinkbug, aren't you?

-Help us, Kuwagon!

-"Mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE MINE!"

-Good work, fellas!

-...oh, he's playing us, isn't he?

-"That little buttmunch just had to be the hero, didn't he?"

-"Don't worry! I'll protect you all, with the power to keep you safe~!"

-"Gira! He's helping us too, woooooooo!"

-The cheers of the crowd suddenly halted as Prince Gira called the king's name. Gira was sickened once more. A disgusting lie from a disgusting man. Once more, Gira was branded a traitor. A coldhearted enemy of the people. A pariah without compare. And to revel in that brand. The King of Evil Gira affirms his wickedness. A lie for a lie, a villain for a villain. Rise, Sasorinne!

-"My little supervillain... I'm so proud!"

-OHHHHHHH

-KING-OHGER ZERO

-Ah

-Well, that seems to be a pretty decent solution to our problem.

-Ohhhh

-We danced in Racules's puppet show.

-OHHHHHHH

-That is such a sick sword design.

-God Kuwagata Zero!

-Goddamn, I'm so invested already

-This has no right going as hard as it does.

[lightbringer-morningstar]

"I know what exclusion is. Aaaaand I know what it means to to be casted out, avoided, to be considered problematic. Ohhh, boy-howdy, do I know— all too well. I know exactly what it means and what it feels like. If that's really what you're asking about." he begins to spell out a portion from his past.

"Happy? Really, is that what you think? I mean, sure Lilith and I, we realized our feelings had deepened for each other, that we had more romantic inclinations towards one another...we bonded after... I, well you know how it goes, right, you had Eve... surely you two uh.... " why was this so straining when he wasn't resorting to humor, "You two had a... uh... a thing... A strong bond, fell in love right?" his inner commentary cautioned, {don't say anything more, leave it, don't touch on it.}

"Wouldnt have all of humanity if you hadn't. Like you always say, it all resulted from those nuts~" he attempts to joke, using his cane to point towards the dark-haired fella's nether region and quickly pulling it back, he gave off a brief laugh following the remark.

"Wait—" something strikes him, Adam felt, left out?! Left behind, how, what Lucifer and Lilith went through, the Devil wouldn't wish it on anyone, well, maybe the ol' Man, Big G ought'ta have a taste of his own medicine sometime. Punishment, curses, banishment, exile to the depths of the underworld for eternal damnation, it was all a steep and hefty cost for wanting to spread creativity and knowledge to others, in the demon ruler's book, that would likely never change.

"Adam... I..." Satan's beard, why couldn't he find more words, this wasn't like him at all! It was these God forsaken emotional situations that really threw Lucifer off. Drawing a blank as he fought his own inner trauma to try and express himself better. Things he'd locked away tightly. Tilting his head back, eyes shutting as he releases a heavy sigh and presses his hands together to meet in the middle. The memories in a haze have been clouding his thoughts for some time during this conversation, and he'd felt the bandage being tugged time and time again as Adam spoke, may as well rip it off, in it's entirety.

"I... listened to Lilith's account, it was after the two of you...had some sort of falling out... for the fourth or fifth time in a row, I don't know, you two were having difficulties seeing eye to eye, or so it seemed, I was only doing what I was tasked with, overseeing G's lil human project, trying to fix things, get them back on track, you know? And well, she told me things... things I didn't want to believe about you, I—well, I wasn't ready to hear them at the time." he felt his jaw clench shut, as his eyes drifted away from the taller man and down towards the ground again. Adam had been his first friend that wasn't designated to him, like the rest of the angels in heaven, his best friend.

Adam stabbed the ground with his shovel, standing too still. For a longer than comfortable moment, the First Man might as well have been a bronze statue.

Until he spoke up, his voice too hollow...like he himself was bracing for a catastrophe.

" Do you know what it feels like to be abandoned? Do you really know what it feels like to be alone...."

Adam and everyone in Heaven and Hell knew about the banishment and fall. But there had been two that fell together...the two that remained together for eons. But for Adam, losing Eden meant losing everything he had ever wanted. He had willingly given up the only home he had ever known to stay with Eve.....and Adam ended up left behind again and again. It was a pain that never healed, only festered and rotted....

Adam went to grab some fertilizer to add to the lifeless dirt.

"......You were happy with Lil. I saw the way you looked at her. Like she was the best fucking thing that ever existed.

Then you left with her.....and left me behind."

He shook his head.

" Like I said.....you wouldn't understand. You got to be happy. That's what matters...."

[lieutenant-columbro]

"oh, well gee, mr. bateman, it's nothing really, just that i couldn't help but notice that business card there on your desk...i must say that's a terrific lookin' card there, sir, may i see it? boy, i thought about gettin' a card for myself, but something like this, why, this musta cost a fortune. oh? it's not yours? ohhh, i see, it belongs to a mr. paul allen, yes, i see that now. this fella must have an awful lotta good taste, you don't need to be a detective to see that. yessir, this is some fine work for sure...the thickness of it's perfect, tasteful, i'd say. and don't tell me: is that off-white for the color? the subtlety's just right...and gee whiz, is that a watermark i see? incredible, just incredible..."

[ijustwant2write]

Grow Up Fast-Fred Weasley x Reader

(GIF credit to @hogwartsfansite​)

Part 2

Tags: @obsessedwithrandomthings​

Masterlist

Prompts List

Requested by anonymous: 'Ohhh your one-shots are amazing! Could you do a cute Fred Weasley one where a baby is abandon near the shop and they Adopt it because the reader and Fred got to attached'

Characters: Fred Weasley x Reader (married), George Weasley x Reader (brother-in-law)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Abandonment/Neglect, adoption/orphanage, lots and lots of fluff

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I placed my hand over my stomach as I felt it rumble, thinking about what I would have for dinner tonight. It had been a long day in the shop, it was becoming busy now, especially with all the children getting ready to go back to Hogwarts. Sighing, I passed by George who had just finished with a customer, deciding that now would be a good time to start cleaning up if we wanted to go home soon.

“I’m going to start tidying up. Call if you need anything.” I explained, receiving a nod from my brother-in-law.

Heading into the stock room, I spotted the pile of cardboard that needed to be taken out to the bins. Although I was tired, I mustered up all of the energy I had left, managing to carry it all outside. Once it had been dumped, I brushed my hands against each other to get rid of any dirt when I heard a strange sound. Freezing on the spot, I listened out once again, hearing a muffled cry. I couldn’t be sure what it was, taking out my wand in case it was something dangerous. Perhaps it was an animal that had escaped one of the shops and had smelt the food thrown out. Slowly and cautiously, I stepped towards the noise, quickly pulling back a piece of cardboard and pointing my wand in that direction, gasping when I saw what was laying there.

A baby lazily swaddled up wriggled around, crying out louder now. I was stunned, not expecting this. Putting my wand away, I carefully picked them up, wrapping the baby up tighter. It was a boy, he couldn’t be older than a few months old, but it wasn’t a newborn. He was still small, and I wondered how long he had been out here. It was cold and wet, he would have surely died if left out here any longer. Going back into the stock room, I perched on a crate, struggling to take off my jacket as I held him, but once off I wrapped it around the baby, providing extra warmth. He wasn’t wailing anymore, he had stopped once he was in my arms. He snuggled his face against me, holding onto as much warmth as he could. Who could leave a baby to defend for itself like this? 

“(Y/N), are you back here?” Fred called out to me, shock showing on his face as soon as he spotted me.

“It’s not mine.” I stupidly said.

Fred’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unsure what question to ask first. His eyes remained on the baby as he approached, still baffled by the sight before him.

“(Y/N), what’s going on here?” he finally said.

“I found him by the bins. He was underneath some cardboard, there was no note, there was nothing but this blanket he’s wrapped up in.”

“We’re going to have to call someone, someone official.”

“Can someone come help out here, I would like to go home soon...” George burst in, his words trailing off when he saw what was happening.“Well you kept that quiet, you hardly even showed (Y/N).”

“He’s so cold.” I mumbled, holding the baby closer.

“Poor little fella.” George joined us, smiling down at the child.“Look, let’s shut shop early, then we’ll call around, see who can help us.”

I remained where I was, starting to walk around and rock the child to keep him content. His big, brown eyes stared up at me, he had such lovely eyelashes. For someone who had been left out for who knows how long, he had small smile on his face the entire time. The twins managed to close without me, only Fred returning.

“George is trying to figure out who to contact. No doubt he’ll be taken to an orphanage.” Fred said, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“He’s not made a sound since you left. I didn’t want him to fall asleep either, he’s just so frail.”

“Here, I’ll hold him for a bit.” 

Passing over the baby, I realised how careful we were being, never having actually handled a baby like this before. The shock of finding him had clouded my mind, and now it was clearing once I saw my husband holding the baby. It was quite a sight, this tall man holding someone so tiny in his long arms. Of course we had discussed creating our own family, but that was further down the line. However, I couldn’t help but melt at the sight, imagining this was our own boy. Fred’s toothy grin was contagious, especially when he started cooing and speaking to the baby.

“It looks so natural on you.” I pointed out, standing beside him.

He glanced down at me.“I thought the same thing when I saw you.”

“Fred, are we-”

“Someone has contacted one of the local orphanages, the won’t be able to come for a few hours though. I gave them your home address to pick him up from, is that alright?” George interrupted.

“That’s fine Georgie.” Fred nodded, starting to walk around with the baby.

“I’ll get our things.” I offered, heading back into the shop where our coats were hanging behind the counter.

George followed behind, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that he had a huge grin on his face. As I put on my coat, picking up my scarf, I watched him do the same, though he was almost laughing.

“What’s tickled you Georgie?” I asked, wrapping my scarf around my neck.

“I’m not amused by anything, it was just nice seeing what my brother’s future is going to be like.”

“That’s very sweet.”

“You look great you know, as a family. I know you’re waiting but,you two are going to be great parents.”

“And our children are going to have the best uncle.”

It felt extremely weird to bring a baby home. Luckily there were no neighbours around, it would be a strange story to tell. Fred had wanted to hold him the whole time, and I found it funny that I was becoming a little jealous. I wanted to hold him again. We laid the baby on the bed, grabbing another blanket to lay him down on as well as wrap him in. I took my jacket away, throwing it on top of the pile of washing that needed to be done. Sitting either side of the baby, we found ourselves just staring at him. My hunger from earlier was all but gone, I couldn’t think about anything else.

The baby was flickering his eyes between the both of us, closely watching. It was amazing how infatuated we were, I could watch him all day. He was just too cute. And I loved the adoration in Fred’s eyes, and how he had looked when he held the baby. 

“I wish we had some food to give him.” I frowned, lightly tracing the baby’s soft cheek with my finger.

“He hasn’t started crying again, though I’m worried that’s because he’s weak.” Fred sighed.

“Why would someone just leave him out there?” my breath was shaky, remembering how he looked when I found him.“I understand if people are struggling, but they could have given him to an orphanage.”

“Don’t cry love.” Fred breathed out, getting upset himself, he held one of my hands.

“I’m sorry it’s just so sad. He’s such a beautiful baby boy, I could never leave him, even walking out to get my coat made me feel guilty for leaving him behind.”

“Should we wash him? He’s very dirty.”

“Maybe. I’ve never washed a baby before.”

“How hard could it be?”

“I’ve seen people do it in sinks, should we do that?”

Fred went to fill up the sink with water and find some sort of soap that wouldn’t irritate the baby. For some reason, I laid down beside the baby, giggling when he looked at me and smiled. He was gurgling now, making funny noises as if he was trying to communicate. I spoke to him in a high pitched voice, laughing along with him. As the baby continued wriggling around, kicking his legs erratically, I felt someone watching as. Glancing at the doorway, Fred was stood there, smiling again.

“His bath is ready.” he pointed out, rolling up his sleeves as he left.

“Come on you, let’s get you nice and clean.” I said to the babe, lifting him into my arms once again.

The three of us were laughing non-stop as we bathed the baby. He enjoyed the water, and not being in full control of his limbs, he splashed the water about everywhere. Fred and I were soaked, but it didn’t matter. Fred grabbed a towel, wrapping up the baby and creating a hood for him, it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I went to get changed, putting on comfy (dry) clothes before I went to swap with Fred. However, as I returned, I realised how quiet it was, melting at the sight I saw in the living room. Fred was relaxed across the sofa with the baby resting on his chest, both of them falling asleep. I didn’t want to ruin the moment; unfortunately it was when there was a knock at the door. My heat sunk as they stirred, and I went to answer the door, realising that it was time to say goodbye. 

A woman was here, she showed me her official badge, thanking me as I let her in. She seemed lovely, very warm and welcoming. I lead her to where Fred was. He was awake, but still cuddling the baby.

“Oh, you two seem to have everything handled here.” the woman said.

“He’s been no bother at all.” Fred explained, not looking at her. 

“Well, cuddle time isn’t over yet, I’ve got some questions about how you found him. Also, I’ve brought him something to drink, I bet the poor thing is starving. It’ll give him some nourishment.”

“That’s good news.”

“Fred, why don’t you get him a clean blanket to wrap him up in. He’ll catch a cold otherwise.” I suggested, sitting down with the woman as he left.

“Have you got any children of your own?” she asked.

“Oh, no we don’t, not yet.”

“Well, you’re both very natural. You both looked very solemn when I arrived. 

“Thank you. And I’m sorry, that was nothing against you obviously. It’s just been...nice to see what the future may look like.”

I answered all of her questions as Fred returned, sitting beside me and feeding the baby. Sometimes I had to repeat questions to him, he was too distracted, even after the baby was done feeding. Time seemed to fly by, because soon enough, the woman was ready to leave. Standing beside Fred, I sadly let him hand over the baby, the woman placing him in a carrier, before saying her goodbyes, thanking us again. We waited by the door, waiting until she had disappeared completely before closing the door. The baby had been sound asleep again, unknowing that he was being taken away. Fred remained silent as he slumped towards the bedroom, and it did seem like something was missing now.

As I followed my husband, I noticed the woman had left a business card behind, for an adoption agency. The name was in beautiful writing, being re-written over and over, her details on the other side. Fiddling with it in my hands, I thought back to what she had said; we looked like naturals. 

Fred and I had hardly said a word to each other as we got ready for bed, even when we were laying down together, his head resting on my chest as I brushed back his ginger hair. All of the lights were off, the sound of rain hitting the window being the only thing I could concentrate on. I sighed before speaking.

“He was lucky we found him.” 

“He was lucky you found him.” he pointed out.

“It was fun, wasn’t it? Even if it was small amount of time.”

“Yeah, he was still a cheeky little thing.”

I kissed his head.“You looked great you know. I...I really enjoyed seeing you with a baby, it was like I had a peek at what we would look like as parents.”

“I was thinking the exact same thing. I know we said we would wait a while but...”

“I mean, we could...”

“Do you...do you feel guilty about him?”

“Thinking about having a baby when we just found a baby who needs a home?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, I do.”

“(Y/N),” Fred propped himself up, now looking down at me,“it’s pretty clear we’re on the same page here.”

I laughed.“You really want to adopt him?”

“I just have this feeling about him.”

“No, you’re attached to him.”

He chuckled.“I guess I am.”

“That’s not a bad thing. She did leave a card, we could contact them in the morning.”

“Looks like it was fate.”

I smirked.“If we’re going to be having a baby soon, we should probably make the most of our last nights together.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you were a bad influence on me.”

“We might be responsible parents soon, let’s live a little before that happens.” 

[thiswasinevitableid]

if you're in the mood for requests i would absolutely LOVE something from the hidebehind au? (maybe including blindfold sex??)

Here you go! I decided to do this for monster march. We’ll figure this counts as prompt 18: claws.

All things considered, Duck is lucky. He’s employed which, given when the newspapers are calling the great depression raging across the country, is a blessing. His days are spent among the mighty trees of the Pacific Coast, he has a small cabin all to himself, and a cat to keep the mice away. 

He just wishes he wasn’t working for a fucking logging company hundreds of miles away from anyone he’s ever known. 

Winthrop Logging needed someone with an arborist or botanists training to make sure the woods stayed healthy before they were chopped down. So they pay Duck a fine sum to make sure diseases or pests don’t send their prospects toppling like dominos. As he traverses his usual route between the trees, he wonders if there will ever be a way to convince them to preserve some of the land rather than profit from it. 

He stops, studying a pine. There it is again, the feeling that someone, or something, is behind him. Watching. Waiting. 

It started three weeks ago, when he was deeper in the woods than usual, humming to himself and occasionally talking to the trees. The skin on his neck prickled, all his senses forcing him from his thoughts and into the present moment; something was there, tracking him as he moved. Not a bear, our a cougar, as the birds still called and the insects chorused. Whatever it was stood directly behind him, yet when he turned to look, there was nothing but the path. 

For the first few days he tried to spot it, never got more than a flicker in the corner of his eye. He came home exhausted, the day spent on high alert as the primal part of his mind demanded he remain on guard for the moment his hunter decided to strike. 

The moment hasn’t come, and Duck is growing used to the gaze crawling up his spine. He decided to ignore it, pretend it was just his imagination and some days that worked. 

Today, there’s no getting around the fact that something is peering over his shoulder. Twice now he’s felt fingers millimeters from his neck. When he feels them again, he reaches his arm back, eyes firmly on his notes, and grabs hold of his stalker.

----------------------------------------------

Humans are not known for their speed. Indrid’s foresight showed this one as no exception, so when the man is fast enough to grab his leg, he chirps in surprise. 

“Fuckin knew it, there is someone back there.” Warm fingers smooth across the short down of his leg.

Indrid appreciates being called a someone instead of a thing, but not the position of Duck’s hand. 

“Please let go. That is my thigh you are grabbing. My upper thigh.”

The hand stays put, “Anyone ever tell you it’s mighty rude to stand right behind a fella when he’s tryin to work?”

“I cannot stand anywhere else, though the proximity is due to-”

“Uh huh, sure, just like you can’t help but play and hide and seek whenever I try to figure out what’s goin on. Lemme guess, you’re one of the other fellas from the loggin camp playin tricks on the new guy?”

“I am nothing of the kind.” Indrid contemplates moving the hand himself, but it feels so very nice.

“One of the locals then? I keep tellin you, I’m a country boy, I’m not gonna get scared by campfire tales or weird noises in the woods. Try that government fella instead.”

“What about the part of me you are touching suggests I am human?”

“Probably a left-over monkey suit or somethin’ from Halloween.”

“I am not a costume, I am a Hidebehind.”

The human pauses, then shakes his head, “No such thing.”

“You are literally touching one.” Indrid stamps his foot, frustrated by the turn this is taking and the fact that futures do not show the human believing him any time soon. 

“Don’t believe I am.” The human turns his head. Indrid’s body whips sideways, keeping him from view. The human holds on, tries again from the opposite direction, only for Indrid to be wrenched back the way he came. 

“Stop movin!”

“Stop trying to look at me!” He’s twisted to the side once more, wrenching the humans arm in the process. 

“Ow!” The grip on him tightens, “quit this fuckin game right now. You don’t lemme see you, I’ll drag you right back to camp with me.”

“I can’t!” Indrid chirps, panicked, the noise continuing into a wail of alarm at what might happen if he’s surrounded with nowhere to hide. 

His fear must register as genuine, as the human releases him with a sigh. After a moment he removes his hat, running his fingers through his hair but not turning around. 

“You still there?” 

“Yes.”

“Why are you even followin me in the first place?”

A peek at the futures says the truth will be most effective, though almost all timelines end with the human telling him to “get gone.”

“I find you intriguing. You do not chop or hack at my home, you study it. You speak to the trees when you think you are alone. You look soft to touch, especially the fur on your head. I like looking at you and being near you. That was why I stood so close.”

“...You been followin me because you’re sweet on me?” The drawl, as soothing as movement of water through plant limbs, seems confused. 

“I do not find you sweet. I could only do that if I ate you. Which I do not want to do.

A chuckle, “Not quite what I meant. You been hangin around me because you think I’m swell and wanna get to know me. Guess I can’t fault you for that, I'm a decent fella to know if I do say so myself.  You got a name?”

“Indrid.” This is an unexpected turn of the timelines. 

“Nice to meet you, Indrid. I’m-”

“-Duck” Indrid says along with him, “apologies, I can see the future and am thus a bit ahead in conversations.”

“Huh. Well, I gotta head back to town. If you wanna talk again, I won’t mind. Just tell me you want to instead of lurkin, you hear?”

Indrid grins, “Yes. I hear you perfectly.”

----------------------------------------------------

“Fuck” Duck picks himself up from the dirt where he fell, brushing pine needles from his coat. He’d been angling for a better look at a set of roots and tripped over a different set in the process. 

“Are you alright?” A now familiar voice asks from behind a tree to his left. 

“Depends. You see me make a fool of myself by fallin on my face?”

“Yes.”

“Then my body is fine but my dignity is real wounded.”

A laugh like spring breeze through new leaves, “I suspect it will recover. You do have quite a deal of leaves in your hair. May I help you with them?”

Duck nods. Slender fingers pluck at his hair.

“Ohhh, it is just as soft as I thought it would be.” Indrid murmurs, “does it feel nice?”

“Don’t feel like much--oh, uh, fuck, that does though. Feels damn good.” Duck groans as claws scritch his scalp. The first time he felt them on his shoulder when Indrid was talking, he tensed; The hidebehind isn’t small, and the claws suggest he could shred Duck to bits and scatter him across the woods. But after weeks of keeping him company, Duck knows the worst Indrid might do to him is steal too much of his lunch. 

The hidebehind, endlessly fascinated by Duck’s job, will sit out of sight as he works. Duck asked him if he only watched Duck the entire time. It turns out the creature draws as well, and Duck now recognizes the sound of a pencil under the rustle of leaves and calls of wildlife. Indrid also spares Duck dangerous climbs into the trees, offering to look at marks or discoloration and describe them if they’re too high for the human to see. 

Turns out he also gives a mean rubdown, his claws moving from Duck’s head to his neck, banishing the knot that’s been bothering him all morning. 

“I like touching you.” Indrid chirps. Duck hasn’t forgotten their first meeting; if a man had come to him with such flattering shyness in his voice and an interest in Ducks body, he’d have been in Duck’s bed by the end of the night. 

He’s not ready to take a hidebehind home, but he’s ready to tease one.

“Seems mighty unfair that you get to touch and I don’t.”

“You would have to close your eyes to so much as shake my hand. My form does not care how little of me you would see, it will pull me into hiding regardless.”

“Then I’ll close my eyes.” Duck does just that, tips his head back so Indrid can see it’s safe. One hand continues massaging his head, while a spindly arm reaches around his chest.

“Bring your arms up, towards you a bit more, yes, there we are.” 

Duck runs his hands over the limb; it reminds him of Manzanita bark he saw in the Sierra Nevadas, smooth but unmistakably of the woods. Towards the elbow the texture changes to soft, short feathers, like the ones on Indrids leg. 

The hidebehind tightens his hold, pulling Duck to his torso. More feathers prickle the back of his neck and the creature shudders. 

“You alright back there?”

“I...it has been so very long since anyone or anything touched me. I foresaw my body being sensitive to it but the intensity is, is-” he lets go so suddenly Duck stumbles, “I am sorry, it was too much and yet I wanted, wanted more.”

Images of Indrid surrounding him, chirping and purring as Duck touches him all over, flood his mind. The embarrassment in his voice keeps the arborist from acting on them. 

“You, uh, gonna show me that Saw-Whet Owl nest?”

“Of course, sweet human. Take the right fork of that deer trail just ahead, and we shall go from there.”

------------------------------------------

“I have something for you. Close your eyes.” 

Duck, still perching on the stump he was using as a lunch chair, does as instructed. Indrid sets a piece of paper in his right hand. 

“You may now look.”

An illustration fills the entire page. It shows a being with stick-like arms and legs leading to a narrow body covered in short, leaf shaped feathers in mottled browns and greens. The face is angular, shaded to suggest it’s dusted with fuzz, and leads to several stick-shaped horns. The eyes are wide and black, the claws long, and there are short, triangular shapes behind its shoulders. 

“Holy fuck, you’ve got wings?”

“Indeed. I do not use them much. I believe they help my kind migrate when our habitats dwindle.”

Duck traces the face on the paper, “How long did it take you to make this?”

“Two days, as the lakes I use to study my reflection tend to attract townspeople and loggers looking to take a break from their toil.”

“You did all this just ‘cause I said I wished I knew what you looked like.”

“Not solely. I...I wanted to show you it as well. So you might know the face of the one who, ah, whose days you brighten.”

Carefully, Duck folds the portrait and tucks it into the inside pocket of his coat, “Find I like my work even better with your company too, ‘Drid. Would you, uh, be okay if I tried to match what you showed me to what I can feel?”

An intrigued chirr floats through the air as Duck shuts his eyes and waves to the ground in front of him. A scuff and rustle of dirt and leaves, and then he feels Indrid in front of him. Cool hands guide his own onto the multicolored feathers.

“Shoulders?”

“Correct.” Indrid moves their joined hands upwards, stopping on velvet-dusted cheeks, “oh, oh goodness, I have always wanted to be held like this.”

“Yeah?” Duck’s heartbeat is in his fingertips, “what else have you always wanted?”

“To, to be touched, to be known, toMMMphohh” a rough tongue laps at his lips as he pulls Indrid into an awkward, bowed kiss. 

“How’s that, darlin?” Duck kisses along what he thinks is Indrids’ jaw, “that the kind of knowin’ you in the mood for?”

“Yes, oh my sweet human you spoil me, oh” claws grab his shoulders, “I, do you really wish this, with me? This was in so few timelines I assumedAH” he squirms adorably as Duck gropes the feathers of his chest.

“You better believe it, sugar. It’s the weirdest goddamn thing I ever wanted and I want it, want you, more than I’ve wanted anything in a long fuckin time.” Curious and eager to fill every one of his senses with Indrid, he buries his face against his upper chest, finds skin beneath all the camouflage and bites down. The hidebehind keens, pulling Duck from his seat into his lap. Duck laughs, bites down once more and gets a nose full of fluff. 

“AhCHOO!” His eyes pop open on reflex after he sneezes, sending the hidebehind out of view and Duck flat on the ground. 

“Blasted physiology” Indrid chirrs, frustrated. 

Duck sits up, Indrid’s cries of pleasure ringing in his ears and giving him all kinds of reckless ideas. 

“Don’t worry, darlin. If my hidebehind wants to romancin’, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

-------------------------------------------------

He takes to wearing a kerchief around his neck at work. The loggers and company pencil pushers assume it’s an affectation, not a tool for covering his eyes for some uninterrupted kisses while deep in the woods.  Today, he’s not sure kisses will be enough. 

Duck woke up hard, dream of Indrid looming above him in bed fading into the morning sun. His hidebehind has yet to show himself, so the humans mind has nothing but his fantasies to distract him on his trek through the woods. 

He’s ahead on his tasks for the day. He’s five miles deep in the woods. And he’s got an idea. 

After rinsing his hands with water from his canteen, he leans back against a tree and undoes his suspenders, followed by his fly. Closing his eyes, he slips his fingers into his underwear, teasing himself and sending soft moans into the air. It doesn’t take long before he’s wet enough to push two up into himself with ease.

“‘Drid” he gasps, letting his head loll back, “‘Drid, fuck, that feels so fuckin good.”

A single leaf crunches in front of him, and his kerchief slowly slides up his face to shield his eyes. 

“It is about to feel much better, dear one.” Indrid kisses the top of his head, “Shall I take this shameless display as evidence that you wish for me to, ah, fuck you?”

“That it does. And I’ll have you know I got plenty of shaAAmeWHoah.” Duck flails as his pants fall down and his body flies up in one smooth motion. Indrids claws prick his thighs as he spreads them open, holding him against the trunk with ease. 

“So very polite of my sweet one to prepare himself for me. It makes this all the easier.” A round, bumpy cock teases his folds, pressing in with a stretch that makes Duck twist in his lovers hold. 

“Fuck, fuck, that’s so fucking good but holy fuck, are you packin a fuckin pine tree down thereOH, ohfuckdarlin, that’s, that’s as far as it’s gonna go.”

“Half of it? My, who knew my human could take so much? Wait, it is not too much, correct?”

“N-nope, just the right amount” the bumps rub every inch inside him, one on the shaft catching his cock as Indrid thrusts and wiggles his hips. 

“Wonderful” Indrid purrs, “I have dreamed of this all dayAHnnncareful” he chides after Duck bites the part of his arm he’s able to reach, “or I shall take you so roughly your back will wear imprints of bark for days.”

Duck whimpers excitedly, very aware of thick pre-cum dripping into him, “Yeah lets do that.”

He can hear the grin.

“If you insist.”

“FUCKohfuckohfuck” his hands scrabble at the tree and at Indrid’s arms, “that’s it darlin, that’s it, fuck, gonna give you the best goddamn rub-down after this, touch you until your body forgets what it’s like to be without my fuckin hands on it.” Leaves scatter in his hair and down the back of his shirt as Indrids fucking turns frantic. 

“I, I shall hold you to that AHhnn, sweet one, you are so tight, so deliciously slick and inviting, I, I am not going to last long, you are too perfect, just touching you makes me burn like wildfire” His thrusts sharpen, never pushing too deep but making Duck feel like a log split beneath an axe of ecstasy, “Duck, sweetheart, yes, yesyesyes” Indrid spills into him, cum running out of Ducks body and back down his shaft. 

For a minute, Duck is nothing more than a pinned specimen, spread eagle on the tree as Indrid shudders, purrs, and drags fuzzy kisses along his throat. Then his shirt rides up as he slips down the tree, but Indrid doesn’t put him down. Instead, a rough tongue glides up one thigh and then the other. The human gasps, gripping Indrid’s horns for balance as Indrid buries his face between his legs.

“Ohhhhhh, oh I do so love tasting how we mingle together.” Indrid’s breath is ragged and hot against his dick, “I am going to do this every day.”

“Please” Duck squeezes his horns, his orgasm painfully close, “please ‘Drid, wanna cum on your tongue, want you holdin me up while I, I-ohfuck.” His legs kick weakly as Indrid sucks him off, tongue lavishing his cock with so much friction he goes hoarse from moaning. The fact he cannot see makes it all the better, makes his world nothing more than Indrids mouth, his claws, his desire that wraps around Duck like vines. 

He cums, arching his hips into the “thank yous” Indrid presses to his legs. 

When his boots touch the ground, deft claws begin pulling his clothes into order, Indrid kissing and caressing him as he does. 

“Y’know, I can get my own britches up.” Duck ruffles a nearby patch of feathers. 

“I know, but I wish to take care of you. Hidebehinds are attentive to our mates, and while I cannot build you a nest, and I can least clean you up after you let me do something so wonderful with you.”

Duck wraps his arms around the cryptid, resting his cheek against him, “Would you wanna do this, uh, wonderful somethin again?”

“Of course.”

The human smiles, reaches his hand up to stroke Indrids cheek. This means he feels the hidebehind smile when Duck says, “Glad to hear it. But I’ll have you know, one of these days I’m gonna expect a nest.”

[slashyrogue]

AU-gust Day #17: Firefighters AU

The first time Hannibal Lecter saw Will Graham he was holding a kitten in one hand and smiling so brightly he was almost certain the man could not be real. 

No one was that beautiful. 

He watched the fireman walk back to his truck number 212, beep the horn twice, and drive away. 

The very next morning Hannibal’s kitchen caught on fire during breakfast. He took much care in making the fire look accidental, and waited as the spoke spread enough to trigger the alarm. 

His disappointment at the beautiful fireman he’d seen just the evening before not being one of the two that came to his door was palpable. It was not quite so simple to get the fireman you wanted to show up to your home. 

Hannibal then decided to bake some cookies for the department as a way to see his beautiful fireman. They would be grateful he was sure, and invite him inside. The kitten savior would surely be among them.

He spent the next several hours baking three different varieties of cookie and took the time to make the presentation perfect. The drive to the station was not more than a few miles, and when he came up to the open garage he was greeted warmly. 

“Hello there,” a man whose tag read Price purred, “Can I help you?” 

Hannibal smiled. “Yes I was coming to show my appreciation to the firemen for helping with my mishap early today with cookies.” 

Price smiled and held out his hands. “Ohhh, I’ll take that to the boys. Thank you.” 

He paused but handed over his box. “I would like to thank them personally if I...” 

“Oh sure, c’mon in.” 

The fireman led him through the station to a backroom where ten man sat watching television. “Hey fellas look who brought cookies!” 

Two of them he recognized from his own fire, and he thanked them personally while his eyes looked around the room for the kitten rescuer. He was not among them. Hannibal felt another annoyance at missing him but left his box of cookies before departing. 

For the next two months he tried to meet his kitten rescuer by joining every fire department related event there was. He was a contributor to at least four bake sales, organized a dance, and single handedly raised four thousand dollars (most if it from his own pocket) carrying the boot for donations. 

Still he didn’t see his fireman once. 

Perhaps the man had been from another station, but he distinctly remembered the 212 truck which was always in the parking lot of his local department. 

Hannibal resigned himself to never meeting this beautiful fireman, and drove home from the Bake Your Boots Off event nearly twenty miles from his home feeling as if he’d wasted time better spent elsewhere. 

Like murder. 

He hadn’t killed anyone in all this time, and his anger at not finding his mystery fireman made him crave the hunt. 

The drive home he thought of killing, his hands aching to crush someone’s windpipe, and just as he got halfway he saw a truck pulled over by the side with a man fixing his tire. This would be a perfect place to catch someone with not many homes around. 

Hannibal pulled over in front of the truck, got out of his car, and pulled the scalpel from his glove compartment. The feel of the blade in his hands felt like coming home, and when he got out of the car he was ready to stab. He stalked toward the truck and knew it would only be seconds before this motorist would fall 

He saw the man sigh, run a hand through his brown locks, and turn just in time to surprise him. 

It was his kitten rescuer. 

Hannibal blinked. 

“Thanks but I got it,” the kitten rescuer said, smiling, “This truck is a piece of junk and the tires are shot but I know what I’m doing.” 

“Are you certain? I could call AAA?” 

The smile he got in return made his heart beat faster. 

“Thanks but it’s alright. You can just...” 

“It’s no trouble, really. I rarely need to use them and someone may as well.” 

The fireman laughed. “Well, if you’re sure...” 

“Very sure.” 

Hannibal put in the call, eyeing up his kitten rescuer the whole time, and when he was finished he smiled. 

“They’re on their way.” 

“Thanks I....” 

He held out his hand. “Hannibal Lecter.” 

The kitten rescuer took his hand and the grip he displayed was strong as they shook. “Will Graham.” 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Will.” 

Will pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked away slightly. “You too, I mean...” 

He blushed. “Thank you.” 

“I really did have it,” Will mumbled, leaning against the car, “I can usually do this shit in my sleep.” 

“Perhaps you did not have enough last night.” 

Will nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

They stood against the car in silence until Hannibal spoke again. 

“If you don’t mind, I would be more than happy to drive you home.” 

Will looked at him in surprise. “How do I know you’re not some crazed serial killer?” 

Hannibal smiled. “You don’t.” 

Will laughed. “Well then, I’ll make sure to hold the pen in my pocket really hard the whole ride home.” 

“Better safe than sorry.” 

They shared another look. “You look familiar,” Will said, looking at him with his head tilted to the side. 

“Do I? I don’t believe we’ve ever met before.” 

“Huh. I guess I’m wrong,” he said, looking out at the street again.

Hannibal watched the moonlight illuminate Will’s beautiful face. 

“You must be,” he said softly, “I’m certain if I ever met you before now I’d remember.” 

Will blushed. 

If this moment was what the last few months of torture had been for then it was all worth it. 

And he’d been wrong. 

Someone could be that beautiful. 

In fact, Will was even more exquisite up close. 

[sukkasupremacy]

SUKKA ONE SHOTS: Cactus JUICE 🧃

Toph gave Suki some cactus juice at Kataang’s wedding :) This is an excerpt from my Sukka Book !

The music boomed through the fire nation reception hall. Friends danced everywhere to celebrate the union of Katara and Aang. Everyone was living life.

Ty Lee and the Kyoshi Warriors busted down on the dance floor. Ty Lee performing her party tricks of course. Even Mai was smiling as she watched them whilst sipping her fire champagne.

Suki played the piano as Katara and Aang danced beautifully together. They were in synch, just like they were in that fire nation cave so many years ago. The crowd cheered as they finished and the two newly weds kissed each other lovingly.

“Ugh oogies.” Sokka remarked.

Suki sat down and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek, “Oh cmon Sokka. I know you’re just saying that because your little sister is not so little anymore.”

“Yeah.” He squeaked. He sniffed and brushed away a fake tear.

“Silly boy.” She cooed as she brought his head to her shoulder.

“Sup pals.” Toph sauntered to their table with some glasses, “Drink up fellas!”

“What’s this?” Suki played with the glass and inspected it. The liquid was opaque and smelled like water but also not.

“Just try it! It’s great!”

“Hmm okay. This is a big glass Toph...” Suki took a sip and her face twisted, “Hmm it’s good. A little weird but good. Very thirst quenching.”

Suki finished the glass. She felt a little woozy.

A mischievous grin made it’s why onto the young Earthbender’s face, “So Suki, was it good?”

“Uhh-ha yeah...um wow I feel mmm.” Suki rubbed her temple and let out an intoxicated chuckle.

“Suks, are you good?” Sokka asked rubbing her cheek.

She groggily booped his nose and got up, “I’m all good silly goose.” She smiled lazily at him, “I’m going to go hang out with Ty Lee. Catch ya later baby.” She leaned down and kissed him sloppily. Then she was gone.

Sokka raised his eyebrow as his girlfriend walked away, “Baby? She never calls me that...Toph?”

Toph giggle, “Hehe yes.”

Sokka crossed his arms, “What did you give Suki?”

Toph bent over and let out a booming laugh, “Let’s just say that she’s gonna be a little crazy for the next day. Cactus juice buddy.”

“TOPH-“

“What? That girl’s gotta let loose a little. She’s so uptight. This’ll be good for her.”

Sokka facepalmed, “I’m- I will get you back for this Toph- I gotta go-“

Toph giggled, “Bye Bye wolf boy!”

Sokka got up and searched the reception to find Suki.

He tapped Zuko on the shoulder, “Hey Zuko, have you seen Suki around. Toph may have just given her some cactus juice-“

Zuko laughed, “Oh dear. You better watch her tonight. I think she’s with Katara or Ty Lee.”

“Thanks buddy.” Sokka patted his back and left.

After a good thirty minutes of searching he found Suki and Ty Lee jamming to some music in the middle of the dance floor. They were clearly very drunk. Sokka watched as his girlfriend sloppily danced to the song playing. She sang along and spun around with her eyes closed. As she laughed Sokka’s heart began to race. She was so gorgeous. It was like the world was glittering and slowing down as he looked at her.

“Hehe hey baby.” Suki stumbled toward him.

“Wha-Ha- Hi Suki!” Sokka stuttered. He scratched the back of his head and laughed.

“Mmm hehe you’re silly.” She pushed the top of her head into his chest and hugged him groggily.

“Mwah! I love youuuuu Sokkaaa mmmhaha.” She mumbled.

Sokka couldn’t help but laugh. He took her face out of his chest into his hands and squeezed it. “I love you too silly.”

“Mmm haha you’re so hooot.” She giggled and kissed his hands and hugged him again.

“You too Suks.” Sokka rolled his eyes and grinned down at her. He loved her so much.

“Hey Sokkaaaa.” She whined.

“Yes baby girl. What is it?”

“We should like...” she paused, “I don’t know like goooo have sex later. Wouldn’t thaaat be fuuunnn mmmmhaha.” She mumbled as she began to kiss his chest again and giggle.

“Suki no, you are drunk.” Sokka said sternly.

She looked up at him and groaned, “Whatever you dummy!”

The water tribesmen chuckled, “You’re so adorable.” Sokka smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“No! No kisses dummy dumb.” She grumbled.

“Alright Suks.”

Sokka brought her head into his chest and began to sway to the music.

Suki giggled drunkly, “Sokka hehehe.”

Sokka rolled his eyes as a smile made its way to his face, “Yes babe?”

“I loooooveeee youuuu hehehehe.”

“I love you too Suki.”

She giggled again, “Sokkaaaaaa.”

“Yes Suki?” He said patiently.

She tilted her head up and looked at him wide eyed and cheeks flushed. She smiled, “We shouuuld get married. Becaussse we bothhh love each other.”

Sokka looked down at her adoringly, “One day love. One day.”

He leaned down and kissed her. Suki giggled again and frowned, “Hey! I said no kissing dummy! Hehehe Mwah!”

————————————-

“Congratulations!” Sokka hugged Katara and Aang.

“I’m glad you and Suki came!” Aang remarked, “Is she okay?”

Katara giggled, “Yeah she was very...lively tonight.”

“Toph let her hit the cactus juice.”

“Ohhh” the newly wed couple exclaimed in unison.

“Good luck with that! We’re heading to Ember Island! Bye Sokka!” Aang gave him a hug.

“Bye! I love you!” Katara hugged her brother and walked away with Aang hand in hand.

Sokka smiled at the sight of his best friend and baby sister so happy.

Suki wobbled and steadied herself on Sokka, “Alright silly girl. Let’s get back to our suite.”

“Sokkaaaaa.” She giggled.

“Yes baby girl?”

Suki held her arms out and grinned cheekily, “Carry me babe!”

Sokka rolled his eyes, “Alright, only for you warrior princess.”

Suki groaned as he lifted her up from her torso, “I said you no call me that Sokka.”

“Okay baby otter penguin.” He teased.

Suki growled, “No No No Sokka. I am your girllllllfriend duhhhhhh hehehe.”

“Whatever you say Suks.” He chuckled.

She brought her arms around his neck and gave him an exaggerated kiss on the cheek, “I love you pretty boy. Sokka, you are soooo pretty.”

He smiled and began the short walk to their suite in the Fire nation palace.

“You are very pretty as well Suki.”

Suki wrapped her legs around his torso and leaned her head into his shoulder.

She giggled, “Sokka, I love you.”

He smiled as he readjusted her position as he carried her, “Yes. I know. I love you too Suki.”

“That nice!” She mumbled and lazily kissed his neck, “Oh my gosh!”

“Oh my gosh?” He questioned.

“You are so...WARM!”

Sokka laughed and kissed the side of her head, “You are so cute baby girl.”

“I knowwwww that’s why you love me!!!!”

His heart fluttered, “Yeah. That and so many other reasons Suki.”

Sokka unlocked the suite and placed her down on the bed. After he changed he sat her up and began to change her clothes.

“Sokkaaaaa are you trying to seduce meee?!” The Kyoshi Warrior giggled as he slipped her dress off.

He rolled his eyes, “No babe. You are drunk. Maybe next time.”

Sokka kissed her cheek and she pouted, “Awwww you suck!”

Sokka scoffed, “Says you!”

He smirked and Suki hit his shoulder, “Hey! You’re a meanie!”

“That hurt Suki!” Sokka began to fake cry and Suki frowned.

“I’m sowwy.” She whined. Suki leaned over and pressed a kiss on his shoulder, “Mwah! All better baby! No more hurt!” She giggled.

Sokka pinched her cheek and brought her in for a playful kiss, “Thank you my love.”

He slipped her silk robe over her head. After Suki was dressed he made his way into the covers. Suki crawled over and poked his cheek, “Sokkaaaaa.”

He smiled, “Yes baby girl?”

“Cuddle? Pleaseeeee.” She shook his shoulder and pouted.

Sokka chuckled again, “Anything for you Suki.”

Suki shot her arms up victory and began to laugh, “Yay!”

Sokka gazed at her and his senses were taken over by an overwhelming sense of love and care for her.

Suki plunged down into him and aggressively cuddled into him. She sighed and placed a sleepy kiss on his chest, “I love you.” The drunk, warrior cooed.

Sokka kissed her head and brought his arms around her, “I love you Suki.”

[nikosomething]

HEYYYY I'm back, very late, I know! But *distressed gurgling noises*. Sorry?? As for fic recs and sangcheng, I'm going to wait until the reveal so I can DM you about it, if you would like? Yess, it's precisely sweating that makes me hate summer haha. It is, truly, yes, the time between Christmas and new year is so sweet, the liminal days as some Tumblr post put it. OMG I'M CACKLING. That was a ride!! dfgdhjshxjdjd yes it's Heaven's official blessing, or TGCF (shortened Chinese title). Yes, I have read both of mxtx's other works- TGCF and svsss. TGCF is my favorite of all three of her books!

Oh yeah, having Meng Yao realise earlier what a douche his dick of a father is would be most wonderful for him AND other characters. Much less grief, surely. I'm alright with any canon divergence with the side characters. I just don't like wwx and lwj making different choices lol. ANYTHING ELSE is super fine! Omg that sounds beautiful. I hope you had a merry Christmas, Niko! Ah we don't celebrate xmas, no! But my holidays have been delightful! Oh wow, that's such a detailed answer. (2)

I prefer tea these days. Back in college, I used to drink coffee on the regular. Now, however, I'm more interested in ginger tea these days. I make it fresh each time- grate fresh ginger, boil it in water with tea powder and some sugar on the stove. I haven't really tried fancy teas, I don't think I'm much of a teabag person. I'd need loose tea haha. I like the ritual of making it, you know? As it so happens, Niko, this bunny is allergic to apples. I start sneezing as soon as I eat even a single bite of an apple, same with pears as well. Guess what my favorite fruit is? Apples! *saddest bunny sniff* green apples more so but I can't eat them! 😔

Cooking shows are soooo good, but it's been years since I have seen a proper cooking show. All of your recs sound amazing, I might check them out next year when I have time (busy with college work, you see). Oooh what all have I watched? Mostly Netflix shows and cdramas. Cdramas first cuz those are the ones I recently watched and hence, also remember - Joy of Life, Nirvana in Fire, the romance of tiger and rose, Hikaru No Go, Go ahead, TGCF donghua. Western shows- locke and key, Euphoria, Sex Education, (ohmygod I seriously can't recall any other. Rip my memory but I watched SO MANY shows ahhhhhh), I'm currently watching Bridgerton. If I remember, I shall tell you when the reveal happens. NIKO, even I watched the pillowbook and it's prequel, and yes, I have to agree that they aren't my favourites too. They were mehhh. I only liked it cuz of Dijun (purple robes, silver hair fella)! (3)

I'm pretty sure I messed up the numbering. I hope you can figure them out AHHHHHHH I don't even know the number of this text dfgdjdhdjdhdhd

Questions now! Idk have many questions honestly haha. I'm just excited for the reveal lmao. Who amongst the MDZS characters, would be your best friend and who would be your enemy? Kiss marry kill- JC, NHS, WWX? What's your favorite and least favorite arc/subplot in MDZS/cql? Alright, that's all for now! Talk to you soon- 🐰

---------

Heyyyyy my dear bunny, I missed you!! But don't worry, life happens! I understand haha Alright, let's wait for the big reveal so you can give me all da SangCheng fic recs! I am EXCITED! Omg okay yes, TGCF, I recognise that. And SVSS, taht one too. That was one crazy ride it's true hahaha If TGCF is your fav then it's all the more reason for me to get to TGCF next! Who is your fav character in TGCF (I wanna have that in mind when I read it haha) Ohhh! Now that's interesting! Why don't you like canon divergence for WangXian? I am intrigued! And thank youuu! I had a great Xmas and great stomachache cause I just didn't stop eating hahaha I lay awake with cramps regretting everything just to do it all over again the next day oops... talk about learning from your mistakes and stuff... hahaha May I ask where you come from? Is it a personal decision that you don't celebrate, is it religiously influenced or is it because of where you live? I hope that didn't sound disrespectful, if so (if I ever sound disrespectful for that matter) please let me know. I am always willing to learn and improve! <3 Ohhh yes, fresh ginger tea is amazing! I have never tried it with sugar, though, but now I am curious. And I actually have a teashop right around the corner where I can get fancy loose tea. Tell me what you like and I'll send you something ;)

Ohhhh noooooes you are allergic to apples! Nooooo! I am so sorry, esp since you like them! I have a friend who is allergic to tomatoes but loves tomato sauce. Ahhh it always breaks my heart Oh! I watched the first episodes of Euphoria but then I didn't have access anymore and I was so sad about that. And I think I also watched Sex Ed! And Netflix recommended Bridgerton to me only yesterday. It seemed interesting! Do you like it so far? (Also Imma so gonan check out your recommendations!!) HAHAHAHA OMGGG BUNNY! YES; I ONLY WATCHED IT FOR DIJUN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT hahahahahaha Also I was so confused when everything was different in Pillowbook. Like they took great care to build it all up in Eternal Love and then EVERYTHING. IS. DIFFERENT. Ohh but I loved the General. What's his name... the one who was by Dijun's side as his right hand man and leader of the troops during that one life. Do you know who I mean? The sweet sweet boy ahhh man I took a bazillion screenshots of him hahaha I enjoyed your numbering haha it was almost perfect hahaha

My Answers

Who yould be my best friend? Uhmmmm... I guess someone who supports me, likes my enthusiasm but also helps me remember how the world works and sprinkles in a tad of realism. Lan Xichen perhaps! And I'd also have a great time with Lan Jingyi! haha omg all the LansBut I'd enjoy the presence of most characters tbh!!Enemywise... I only dislike people who hurt others so I guess if I witnessed one of them hurting my friends they'd become my enemy? Sadly I guess it'd be Xue Yang then. Or my baby Meng Yao if I had been close with NHS and or NMJ. I mean JGS and WRH are a given so I don't really mention them.Now tell me about you! I can't wait to hear about it!!omggg why are you giving me that super hard choice!!? Uhmmm... Kiss them all, have them marry their loved ones and pls, pls let them live! xDDDDD *sneakily sneaking out of this one*As for arc/subplot please let me know your thoughts on this! I honestly can't tell, I's have to watch it all over again cause I forget way too quickly. But there were defo parts I enjoyed mor ethan others. I'll think about it!Feel hugged!!!

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

View on Google Docs

Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

[isabellek211]

OOGIE BOOGIE: Well, well, well, what have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Oh, I'm really scared So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, haYou're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes You're jokin' me, you gotta be This can't be the right guy He's ancient, he's ugly I don't know which is worse I might just split a seam now If I don't die laughing firstWhen Mr. Oogie Boogie says There's trouble close at hand You'd better pay attention now 'Cause I'm the Boogie Man And if you aren't shakin' Then there's something very wrong 'Cause this may be the last time now That you hear the boogie song, ohhhTHREE BATS: OhhhOOGIE BOOGIE: OhhhSEVEN LIZARDS: OhhhOOGIE BOOGIE: OhhhSEVEN LIZARDS: Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogie ManOOGIE BOOGIE: Well if I'm feelin' antsy And there's nothin' much to do I might just cook a special batch Of snake and spider stew And don't ya know the one thing That would make it work so nice? A roly-poly Sandy Claws to add a little spiceTHREE SKELETONS: OhhhOOGIE BOOGIE: Oh, yeahOhhhOOGIE BOOGIE: OhhhTHREE BATS: OhhhOOGIE BOOGIE AND THREE SKELETONS: Oh, yeah, I'm (he's) the Oogie Boogie ManSANTA: Release me now Or you must face the dire consequences The children are expecting me So please, come to your sensesOOGIE BOOGIE: You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much And now, with your permission I'm going to do my stuffSANTA: What are you going to do?OOGIE BOOGIE: I'm gonna do the best I canOh, the sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fairIt's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fineSANTA: Release me fast or you will have to Answer for this heinous actOOGIE BOOGIE: Oh, brother, you're something You put me in a spin You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie And you ain't going nowhere

https://youtu.be/7PvT05P3Gjo

Unikitty and frankie encountering a vengeful Tamatoa, And he Taken docky away.

[samuel-art-and-writing]

Shadow Mike’s Song ( The Oogie Boogie Song)

Shadow Mike Well, well, well, what have we here? Dr. Shemp, huh? Oh, I'm really scared So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha

You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes You're jokin' me, you gotta be This can't be the right guy He's weak, he's ugly I don't know which is worse I might just split a seam now If I don't die laughing first

When Mr. Shadow Mike says There's trouble close at hand You'd better pay attention now 'Cause I'm Shadow Mike And if you aren't shakin' Then there's something very wrong 'Cause this may be the last time now That you hear the murder song, ohhh

Three Lost Souls Ohhh

Shadow Mike Ohhh

Seven Lost Souls Ohhh

Shadow Mike Ohhh

Seven Lost Souls Ohhh, he's Shadow Mike

Shadow Mike Well if I'm feelin' antsy And there's nothin' much to do I might just cook a special batch Of guts and blood stew And don't ya know the one thing That would make it work so nice? A lambly Dr. Shemp to add a little spice

Three Lost Souls Ohhh

Shadow Mike Oh, yeah

Three Lost Souls Ohhh

Shadow Mike Ohhh

Three Lost Souls Ohhh

Shadow Mike And Three Lost Souls Oh, yeah, I'm (he's) Shadow Mike

Schneeplestein Release me now Or you must face the dire consequences The patients are expecting me So please, come to your senses

Shadow Mike You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much And now, with your permission I'm going to do my stuff

Schneeplestein What are you going to do?

Shadow Mike I'm gonna do the best I can

(Musical interlude)

Oh, the sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Shadow Mike Although I don't play fair

It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Schneeplestein Release me fast or you will have to Answer for this heinous act

Shadow Mike Oh, brother, you're something You put me in a spin You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm Mr. Shadow Mike And you ain't going nowhere

[readbythestarlight]

Undeadwood (e2)

HERE WE GOOOOOO

Deck of powers, better parts of your soul? Oh boy I already love this mechanic.

Gun fiiiiiight

Nice Matt with the joker again

NICE what a perfect first hand!

Another good hand I really like this spell system very cool

Uh oh what’s happening

Lol Brian

[[MORE]]

“I stuff the matches in my bosom” have I mentioned Miriam is my wife?

M: “I don’t know what you just did with your hands.”

F: “Well... you know, I had a good morning.”

“Get out of the way!” “Why?” “So we can shoot!” “Well I didn’t know you had fucking guns!!”

Having to take a round to reload is brutal but a cool mechanic

“Do you even know how to fire that thing?”

RM: “You bet your ass! Get inside!”

Minus 4?? Ouch

Ohhh those rolls ouch

I like how these fights aren’t exactly hard (yet) but they’re still cool and fun to watch

Marisha: “if they kill the sexy sheriff I’m gonna be so sad”

A, after missing a shot: “curse my white collar upbringing!!”

RM: “GET THEE AWAY FROM ME SATAN!!”

Okay come on pull some good cards

Nice!!

And then he rolls an explode for damage nooiiice

Uh-oh...

Wait what does that mean?

“Let’s go JC!”

Is he gonna be okay what happens DOTN HURT THE REVEREND

WHAT DOES THIS MEEEEAN

okay so he’s just fatigued

Maaaatt babe can’t roll

Matt: “that’s how it works when you’re the DM and you get to play”

Aww giving Travis a chip for the song and making everyone laugh <3

Nice shot!

Mason honey I don’t think that’s God given power lol

I like the whole “DM’s discretion you give them poker chips” thing

RM: “I may take you up on that. Not that I don’t enjoy the... drafty comforts of the church... :|”

Aww walking Arabella home, what gentlemen

Miriam decided the crime lord can wait, Miriam is Queen of Deadwood

So Arabella is unhappily married, Sharpe is awfully paranoid and possibly a wanted man? Idk

RM: prays and conks out while everyone else is paranoid

Oh boy dreeeeam!

“First one’s free” and he gets to remove his fatigue point. Neat.

I like that Mason seems to actually have faith and not just to be some con man faking it? Like he prays in private and stuff. That’s cool.

FUCK I missed what Miriam said to Sharpe because my Twitch froze!! What’s all that matters??

Okay what’s up with Arabella’s husband? Is he a drunk? Is he grieving? Is he a recluse? He seemed awkward but sweet.

A: “he doesn’t hurt me, so” oh honey that bar is so low

Sure have breakfast with a bloody head in a bag xD

Also given that Fogg didn’t sleep I’m still saying vampire

Anyway I’m not one to quick ship but I’m tempted to ship Miriam with Mason, Sharpe, Arabella, or Fogg just depending on the moment

Crime lord fella doesn’t seem that shocked about the snake things

I love Sharpe’s “fuck you that mine was fucked up” attitude

lol goddamn Brian

Miriam are you a drug dealer??

I’d still marry her tho

Or maybe a witch and she deals potions

Guy says Mason is a drunk, Mason looks like he’s holding something in. WAS he a drunk? That’s interesting.

Brian keeps doing the best voices and cracking everyone up and I love it.

Dr: “you want my historical opinion or my medical opinion?”

F: “Whatever fucking opinion you got we’ll take.” I love his sass.

Arabella why do you want books on alchemy and healing

New means of healing...

She’s trying to necromance her sister isn’t she?

Oh we split up and half went to the graveyard that seems unwise

Oh dear a dark room I don’t like Miriam going alone

What is going onnnnnn

Is she a witch what is she she’s clearly not just a drug dealer is she she cares too much for that

Oh I forget she’s supposedly married

Ohhhhh is she a dealer for her husband? Like it’s a whole thing

Godddd I love the mystery of all this

I’m so here for all the woman to woman solidarity in this Miriam is so supportive of every woman she meets and I love her

Why are Miriam and Arabella so unhappily married? Leave your husbands and marry someone better I’m begging

Oh nooooo

Awww she threw her drugs good job Joni!

GUYS IM SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS

Fogg is so funny you guys

Can’t wait to find out his full tragic backstory

Seriously tho I’m emotional about all this woman/woman support and solidarity

And I wanna hug Miriam

Oh jeeze, poor Arabella :(

Somethings up tho for sure it’s all too suspicious

Okay so sister was the responsible one, Arabella the wild one, so now is she trying to pay her sister back for all those past times she looked after her?

Oh jeeze the marriage is just for financial reasons??? Gross. Poor Arabella.

I’m getting emotional about

“to maybe bring her back” oh my god she just confessed it out loud

Oh honey

“Brothers seeking out other brothers” oh honey no you don’t want your sister back like that

Poor Reverend Mason agreed with me like “oh honey no”

I love how Mason is convinced it’s God and Sharpe’s just like “don’t be stupid that ain’t god//God don’t play cards”

That’s a cool quote actually put that on a t-shirt “god don’t play cards”

Oh lovely fog in the graveyard on a sunny day that’s not suspicious

Fogg fascinated by the fog

Okay suspicious supernatural fog in the graveyard this is fine

F: “There you are. It’s been a long time.” what the FUCK does that mean, Fogg?

A gravestone with no fog... a graveplank of deadwood

Oh it’s her sister’s

“Staked into the ground” I wonder if that was deliberate phrasing... staked, Huh? Also being suddenly ill and then just as suddenly dying? Def sounds like vampires to me.

OH NO HE FELL INTO WILD BILL HICKOK’S GRAVE SAVE HIM

Arabella honey no!

Oh boy empty coffin except for a hat

Scratch marks and ash oh boy the dead are rising

RM: “THERE ARE SCRATCH MARKS! INSIDE! THE COFFIN!”

I mean that’s a good question tho why not any fog around her grave

Arabella honey you don’t want your sister back undead honey

Oh damn the fog helped save him iS THAT WHY HIS LAST NAME IS FOGG??

CALLED IT

“See her the way she is, not the way you intend her to be” Miriam coming in with the wisdom

It moves around the Reverend WHY

Miriam asking the question we all want to have answered

The initials D.C....

Doc Cochran‘s hat

Oh shit I think Fogg is right

“Surely when one of your own is laid to rest we should honor that rest, *but the fog*!!!”

Woooooo going to the bar!

Oh lord they gotta dig up the sister’s grave

BT: “Now, is there anything else you’d like to know?”

K/F: “Yeah, there’s a whole shitload I’d like to know!”

Ooo keeping the info to himself for now. Interesting. I agree though idk how Arabella would handle that.

Oh lord here we go gonna dig up the grave

I knew it was gonna be empty but I’m still like FFFUUUUUCK

God I love this series and these characters so much you guys I can’t believe we only get two more eps. It’s so so so so good.