#OH MY GOD THAT RECENT ONE WHERE HES IN THE MAFIA

[ghost-proofbaby]

do y’all remember that time in the one direction fandom when people made fanfic trailers and constantly used DNA by little mix for harry fics or is that just me

[queer-n-here]

once again comin in with another meal to cook !!!

character of your choice ♡

stalker, obsessive and possessive reader (quite literally just yandere) seeing their SoulmateTM one day and just going full degenerate and doing everything in their power to learn more of their new lover, even getting rid of powerful foes or imaginary rival love interests for them. no one has any idea as to how they're able to do things no human or gifted can do. eventually, reader slowly comes in and orchestrates their first meeting and slowly woos their lover, but they have major issues on hiding their possessiveness and jealousy of others. lover can either a) be all for it and find it hot or b) lover is unsettled by it.

either way, after someone flirts with their lover, reader kind of snaps and after that person leaves, reader excuses themself and goes to absolutely maim the persom who dared to approach what was his. it's nighttime when reader is finished with them, and they come home to their lover who is worried, but becomes horrified at seeing all the blood covering reader. all reader can think about is claiming his lover, breeding him and imprinting himself so deep inside his lover that they'll always feel empty without him. (dubcon would be amazing)

~ 🕸

Oh my god 🕸️ bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bruv this is so good, love you for this, and yeah, y'all I've recently started reading a shit ton of dubcon/noncon so yeah...

I did this one for Akutagawa, cuz I feel like this could work for a situation where the reader is in the Port Mafia.

Also,this one got really long, and I haven't posted in like two days, so I thought I'd make two parts, yknow? Read Pt. 2 here!

Contents: Yandere reader that stalks Akutagawa and plans out their first time meeting in person. Not that Akutagawa already knows reader's name since they both work for the Port Mafia, but that's about it.

Warnings: No smut in this part yet, top male reader, yandere tendencies, mentions of stalking, murder, ability user reader.

You had been watching Akutagawa ever since you joined the Port Mafia. In total, this is what three years of stalking and careful planning was gonna boil down to: this one opportunity.

You had planned it out meticulously, paid seventy eight people to be nearby and on the scene to prevent anything from going wrong.

A heroic rescue!

As you watched Akutagawa cut open those men with Rashomon, you couldn't help but smile. He was so precious, so brave, so beautiful, so-

You shook your head, forcing yourself to concentrate. You couldn't miss your cue. Akutagawa wasn't stupid. If you made half a mistake, he'd know what was up.

One of the men got too close to Akutagawa for your liking, and you pounced on the opportunity like a starving cat.

You dashed out of your hiding spot, your ability leaping out and cutting the man to the ground.

Akutagawa turned to look at you, surprised.

Some of the men halted, too. They hadn't thought that you would actually hurt one of them. Before it was too apparent, and before Akutagawa could notice the changes in their expressions, your ability flew out, covering the entire area. Soon, all the men but the one you were enamored with were lying on the ground in pieces.

"[Name]," Akutagawa said, frowning slightly. "Aren't you supposed to be responsible for the East block tonight?"

"I asked Higuchi to handle it." You shrugged seemingly casually, your hands in your pockets as you scanned Akutagawa's body for any injuries. "The weather is great tonight, so I thought I'd step out for a drink. And good thing I did, otherwise you would have been cut to pieces."

Akutagawa sulked slightly, no longer focusing on the reason behind your sudden appearance. "I could've handled it."

Of course he could've, he's literally perfect.

"Were these Guild's men?" Akutagawa looked around the bloody mess of bodies around you two.

"How would I know?" You placed your hands behind your head.

Akutagawa shrugged. "Whatever, they're dead now."

And so the night ended. You took Akutagawa back to his home, pretending to ask for directions, when in reality you had his address memorized. He tried to turn you down, saying that you were being paranoid, but you said you'd rather be safe than sorry.

When you reached the tall apartment building, you watched him step inside, waiting for the light to turn on in the window you knew was his before leaving.

Over the next few weeks, you orchestrated multiple meetings between you two, always appearing out of nowhere and going back to it. Slowly, Akutagawa opened up, and started trusting you.

Miraculously, you even got Mori to assign you and Akutagwa to the same area. It cost you it's worth; you had to help Mori convince Elise into some bullshit.

It wasn't long before you were sure Akutagawa had developed feelings for you. He was painfully easy to read; his cheeks would flush every time you got too close, you could sometimes feel his eyes following you as you moved around. Once, when you 'casually' playfully winked at him, and you swore you could hear his breath hitch.

But you waited. The perfect thing to seal the deal for you and Akutagawa would be a confession from him, and not from you.

There were times when you almost gave up on this thought, like that one time one of your clients found interest in Akutagawa. He was ugly as hell and nowhere close to Akutagawa, who shone brighter than the sun. You had to take care of him your own way afterwards, slitting open his insides in your secret warehouse and throwing his pieces away to the dogs.

That wasn't a first-time occurrence, nor was it the last, but you fought well to keep your cool as long as Akutagawa was around. You didn't want him to know that side of you.

That day, you had known something was up even before you saw Akutagawa. There was a funny feeling in your stomach, and you felt like something great was going to happen.

And it did.

"I... I really l-like you."

His words caught you off guard, and for a moment you almost punched yourself in the face to confirm whether it was a dream or reality. But you stopped yourself.

"Really?" Even as you spoke, your hands were already reaching for Akutagawa, pulling him closer to you.

He nodded, his entire face red.

A small broke through your face, and you kissed him, holding his waist in your hands.

It was finally happening. It was finally happening! Three years, four months, twenty-seven days, sixteen hours and forty-two minutes after you'd first laid eyes on this angelic man, you had finally kissed him!

It was a gentle kiss, despite the roaring in your head and all the urges to crush him into yourself. You nipped at Akutagawa's lips gently, making his breath hitch in that oh-so majestic way. He tasted like the best thing in the world, and you just couldn't get enough.

It was him who pulled away first, you wouldn't willingly part from those beautiful lips even if you suffocated to death. Staring at you with shining eyes and a shy little smile on his ethereal face, Akutagawa spoke.

"So... D'you... wanna be my boyfriend?"

Yes, yes, YES! A thousand times yes!

You nodded, pressing your forehead against his.

[narcissarina]

Darkened Desires

Prologue and Chapter 1: The sun || Chapter 2: The moon ||

Pairings: Mafia!Scaramouche × Barista!Reader

Word count: 873

Tw: praise kink, degradation, kidnapping, tourture, dub/non-con, forced breeding, dismembering, gore, deaths, age-gap, corruption, use of force, trauma, use of drugs, stalking, mentions of human trafficking on the near chapters, slowburn.

Warning: This fanfiction may contain kidnapping, torture, dub/non-con, forced breeding, dismembering, age-gap, corruption, vigilante Scaramouche, use of force, trauma, use of drugs, stalking, and more. This fiction will continue grow darker as chapters goes by.

Your mental health matters.

CHAPTER 3:

THE MOON

I sat on my chair, legs crossed and seeing Mr. Parfez all beaten up, nose damaged and a severe cut on his legs. As far as I could count, my men stabbed him twenty-eight times on his thigh, used a knife and cut his cheeks—making his smile much wider and disturbing. Blood all over the tiles and how he is pleading for his life. Cigarette in hand, I puff out a smoke and stood up, using the end of my shoe—I lift his chin up.

Holy shit he looks horrible, this would be very horrifying for my girl.

I puff out another smoke and tilt my head to the side, his eyes met mine and I tap an excess cigar on him, he yells in pain and I push my remaining cigar into his eyes as he bleeds out in my hand—he tried to back out, lift my feet up and step on his chest to make him fall back in to the cold tile full of his blood. His screams can be heard in every corner of this fucking torture chamber of a room. I love how it’s also soundproof, no one can hear his cries for help and how much he pleads for mercy.

But I show neither sympathy nor mercy.

This if the price he must pay after making a fool out of myself, after scamming and breaking our contract like that. He fucking deserves it.

After pushing my remaining cigar to his eyes, he neither moves or struggles. He was dead, I killed him and I don’t feel a thing.

I stood up, and oh my fucking god. Blood all over my attire, fuck!

“Clean this up, and if you all fucked up cleaning this corpse, you all will ended up dead like him.” I snapped and they started moving.

Snapping my finger and one of my men came to me, “Report.” I spoke, he has a mullet cut and ash blonde hair, his tone flat as he speaks, he tells me her full name first and I smiled wickedly.

A beautiful name equals to a beautiful lady.

“She just recently graduated college and with her and her friends family support, they put up a café. She also has two siblings, she’s the middle child.” He reported, his tone loud and clear. I gave him a nod as he handed a file to me, I flip and turn pages full of her personal background.

Her birthday, her hobbies, favorite colors, pets, names of family members, her exes, what degree she graduated, who are her enemies, and more. A picture of her when she’s a child captured my attention, my fingers glide to it as if I were caressing a little girl that grown to be a wonderful and carefree woman.

Too bad she wouldn’t be carefree when she discover who I am.

Hacking one of her cameras are too easy, her surveillance in the café and her own home. She lives in a butt-fuck nowhere where forest surrounds her house. In her papers, it said that she has deep love for nature and how the smell of the leaves brings comfort to her.

Naughty girl, doesn’t she know that many people had gone missing because of houses like this? Tortured, raped, harassed, and more. Tsk, tsk, luckily she’ll have my protection every now and then. I don’t want someone lying their hands on my girl, no one.

There she is, lying on her bed with phone in hand—she doesn’t know that I’m watching her. Why did she install a camera in her bedroom? I laugh on how oblivious she is, hackers can easily hack her cameras then they either can sell her or their footage on the dark web.

I see her, in only in her thongs and fitted shirt, she walks around almost naked in her own home—well, she is surrounded by the green trees, no one can see her—she thought she is free exposing herself in just thongs.

My eyes lingers on the screen, I could feel my cock twitch and throb under the fabric of my pants. How it begs to be buried deep in her pussy, how much I want to penetrate her—to fuck her senseless.

Lost in wild thoughts, a voice came into my small earpiece, “Sir?” it called, I turn away from my computer screen, lean back and light up a cigar.

“speak.”

“I have reports on the missing children, and a leaked video.” He spoke, my attention snatched and my body stiffen, “leaked video?” I repeated and he confirms.

“These fuckers are sick in the head, even targeting helpless women aren’t enough.” I curse under my breath, my blood boils knowing that they even target little kids.

Sick wild motherfuckers.

“There is also an update for sir Niro, would you like me to send it to you?” he asked, I sigh and clenched the light up cigarette in my hand. It burns but it didn’t hurt I have my gloves on.

I nod and turn back to my computer screen, I nodded and have my mind relax when I see her lovely face in the screen, checking the surveillance.

I should probably keep my distance… for now.

Link:

Chapter 4: THE SUN

[wheneverfeasible]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Oh! Oh gosh. Okay. Let’s do this. In no particular order, we have the following five fics…

1.) A Study in Asexuality - Fandom: BBC Sherlock; Ship: Johnlock. Brief summary: Sherlock is worried John won’t be happy in a sexless relationship with him and seeks to give John what he thinks he wants.

This story was more about an exploration of my own experience with asexuality and was meant to be kind of both an “I see you” to other asexuals as well as acting as a kind of education piece.

2.) Bloody Hands, Broken Hearts: a Mafia AU - Fandom: Stranger Things; Ship: Steddie. Brief summary: No UD AU where Eddie has become a mob boss and Steve was sold into sex trafficking, when their paths meet again for the first time since high school.

This is a current WIP of mine and I’m lowkey obsessed with it ngl. Almost done with the latest chapter. It’s a darker story which is fun to do.

3.) Ruin Me - Fandom: Stranger Things; Ship: Steddie. Brief summary: Omegaverse AU set between S2 and S3 where omega!Steve asks alpha!Eddie to ruin him.

Another recent work of mine and my first time writing intersex omegas. I’ve recently decided to write a companion piece for it and some other short scenes.

4.) Stranger Things: The Pirate King and the Freak - Fandom: Stranger Things; Ship: Steddie. Brief summary: Pirate AU where Al Munson sells off his son to Pirate King Steve to pay off his debt.

This fic was brought on by being thrown back into my pirate obsession, though only one chapter is written so far because other things got in the way. It’s been fun writing a morally grey Steve though lol. Second chapter is being worked on.

5.) Web of Lies - Fandom: BBC Sherlock; Ship: Johniarty, unresolved Johnlock. Brief summary: The Great Game AU where Jim from IT dates John instead of Molly.

This one was a fun one to write but life got in the way and I’ve accidentally ended up putting it on temporary hiatus. I plan on going back to it, I just need to get back into the fandom first to get back into the voices. It was really fun writing though.

Bonus: Vader Vendetta - Fandom: Star Wars; Ship: Gen Luke & Vader. Brief summary: Ella Enchanted/Curse of Obedience AU set right before ESB where Luke was cursed as an infant to obey his father which causes problems for him after he’s captured by Vader.

This is an old old old fic of mine that I accidentally ended up abandoning on FFNet but I have plans to rewrite it (gods the writing is so bad for it I’m embarrassed to look at it but I love the story so much) and post it to AO3. It’s fairly cracky with humor and angst both. Written long before we’ve had all this lovely new Star Wars lore.

[celestiall0tus]

Into Another World - Ladybugs

Table of Contents

            Gateways in the sitting room between worlds lit up. Portals spun and people emerged from them all in various ladybug-themed outfits. They all exchanged glances as Lord Bug’s eyes widened.

            “No way! More of you guys!” Lord Bug cheered.

            “More? Absolution Ladybug asked.

            “Yeah! More of us, ladybugs. I met some others, not ladybugs, by other versions of me and my friends. We teamed up to take down something called the Supreme. It was honestly a joke, but what can you do?”

            “Interesting. So, we’re all just other ladybug holders from other worlds?” Carmine asked.

            “That’s what it looks like. Well, for most of us. I can’t really tell with you guys,” Lord Bug said as he pointed to a pair of Marinettes, one tall and toned while the other short and chubby, a Juleka with red violet dyed tips in an adventurer’s outfit, and an Adrien in a black prince outfit with red and green details.”

            “I was blessed by Tikki a long time ago. Well, my ancestors. That blessing lived on in my blood that grants me powers,” Court of Miracles Marinette boasted.

            “I was blessed too, but more recently by the kwami god of creation,” Scions Juleka announced.

            “I’m a lot like that Marinette, except I was also blessed, or cursed, with Plagg as well,” Rapture Adrien admitted.

            “I was gifted the power of Creation to combat the power of Destruction and free my city of their family’s tyranny,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette remarked.

            “Then why aren’t you transformed like the rest of us?” Siren’s Song Lady Beetle asked.

            “Transformed?” Juleka, Adrien, and Court of Miracles Marinette asked.

            “They mean with the jewels you get from the kwamis to put on tacky, well, tackier suits like they all have,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette commented.

            “Tacky? Excuse you! I designed this biker outfit myself!” Separate Worlds Lady Beetle protested.

            “Yeah! My girlfriend made my suit and she’s a remarkable designer!” Lord Bug added.

            Hope puffed out her cheeks and stomped her foot.

            “Hey! Roller derby clothes aren’t tacky, bitch!” Bloody Bug yelled.

            “That’s for debate, but do you really have any room to speak? The suit and everything sells gangster a little too much, don’t you think? You honestly look more like a walking cliché,” Carmine spat.

            “And what do you expect of me? To just run around in dresses, skirts, high heels, and blouses to take on another mafia boss? Let alone one that is the black cat? No, I think not. I would rather not be transformed unless absolutely necessary,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette snapped back.

            “Well, good for you that you don’t need your powers to take on your villain, princess. Some of us need ours otherwise we’d be dead,” Absolution Ladybug yelled.

            Of Virtue and Sin Marinette’s nostrils flared. “Call me ‘princess’ one more time. I dare you.”

            Absolution Ladybug opened her mouth when Bloody Bug jumped in the way.

            “Princess!” Bloody Bug hissed.

            Of Virtue and Sin Marinette growled and raised her hand when Scarlet Lord jumped in the middle of them.

            “Ok! I think that’s enough of that. I don’t think we were brought here to fight. I’m not sure why we’re all here, but let’s try to get along, right? Why don’t we all just sit down and talk?” Scarlet Lord suggested.

            “I agree! I want to get to know you guys. The ones I met before were interesting, so I want to learn more about each other,” Lord Bug added.

            The others exchanged uncertain glances before they shrugged and took a seat.

            “So… where do we start with all this? And why should we care?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Oh, come now, it could be fun, and that’s all it needs to be, but we do need a place to start. Let’s see… oh! What about who our villains are? I can go first. We’re dealing with my dad, who is Papillon. He’s destroyed quite a bit and killed just as much, but also losing his mind. We’ve also sorta got Ripper, who is a blood hungry serial killer. And a little assassin child named Widow,” Lord Bug shared.

            “We’ve got a crazy serial killer butterfly holder named Papillon who has been terrorizing the city and entire world for two whole years. Chat Noir was supposed to be our hero, but he failed one too many times. Now I’ll step in to be the hero he wasn’t,” Absolution Ladybug stated.

            Lord Bug paled. “I… I, uh, sure he tried his best?”

            “Oh, he sure tried his best to be a little attention whore and milk being a hero while everyone else suffered. Fucker is paraded around as a glorified sex symbol more than as a hero,” Absolution Ladybug shot back.

            Lord Bug curled his lip in disgust. “That’s… that’s unpleasant. Uh, what about you?”

            Separate Worlds Lady Beetle raised her brow. “Me? Well, we don’t exactly have a villain or villains like you two. Me, Snow Owl, and Gold Mouse just help keep the streets clean and free of crime.”

            “That’s a noble cause,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette said.

            “Oh? Well, thank you. We’ve been doing it for a few years, since we were teens in high school. It was Snow Owl’s idea. Gold Mouse and I joined because we were always a fan of comics and heroes, so the chance to be one was… enticing. It’s not easy, we’ve made mistakes, but we’ve done so much good. Seeing the smiles on peoples’ faces makes it all worth it.”

            “I agree with the mafia bitch. That’s very noble. Reminds me of why I took on the ladybug,” Carmine added.

            “Why did you?” Separate Worlds Lady Beetle asked.

            Carmine stared at the coffee table. “My sister and I watched a villain rise that was set on destroying the world. We watched him as nothing was able to stop the monsters he created by twisting normal people into abominations. He was killing so many with the monsters and no one could stop him. When my sister and I were given the chance to stop him, we leapt at it. For the longest time, all we could do was contain his rampage to Paris. It wasn’t until a golden dragon warrior rose from the ashes that we were finally able to do more than just contain him.”

            “That sounds a lot like my father,” Lord Bug said.

            “And our Papillon,” Absolution Ladybug added.

            “Something like ours too,” Metal Bug added.

            “What’s yours like?” Lord Bug asked.

            “Well, he’s not alone, but definitely the leader. Manipulative and cunning, but also terribly cruel. He works alongside the peacock, rooster, ant, and black cat. He’s currently also have Bumblebee under his thumb along with the ox and white cat because of Bumblebee,” Metal Bug explained.

            “Wait! Bumblebee? Your Marinette?” Lord Bug asked.

            “Y-yeah? You know her?”

            “Yeah! I met her. She talked about you and her Adrien. That must mean you’re Luka!” Lord Bug cheered.

            “You’re a Luka?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Uh, let’s get to topic. Uh, what about you? What’s your villain?” Metal Bug asked as he pointed to Hope.

            Hope tilted her head and pointed to herself. She considered, stood up, and waved her arms around in a flapping motion.”

            “What is this? Is this a game of charades?” Carmine asked.

            “Use your voice,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette scolded.

            Hope huffed and pouted. She reconsidered before she grabbed her yo-yo and slammed it onto the table. She swiped up on it as it opened. Creation energies poured from it, and she worked with them. She sculpted them into a life-size model of Echidna.

            “What the hell? Why are you fighting a fairy?” Juleka asked.

            Hope flicked her hand as echoes of Echidna’s voice repeated “Paradise.”

            “Paradise? What’s Paradise?” Absolution Ladybug asked.

            “A very dangerous power. Those that possess the powers of Life, Nature, Transformation, Protection, and Beauty are able to create a literal heaven, untouchable and unkillable, but sacrifices the rest of the land to make it, creating a barren wasteland outside of Paradise,” Adrien explained.

            Hope bounced as she pointed at Adrien.

            “Your butterfly seeks to make Paradise?” Adrien asked.

            Hope nodded.

            “Does she have all the components?”

            Hope shook her head. She flicked her hand again to reveal the peacock Erinona, the turtle knight Alexiares, and the dragon Delphyne.

            “There’s no snake here. They don’t have the snake?”

            Hope gave a thumbs up.

            “That’s a relief. Make sur they don’t get the snake. With the snake, Paradise will be made.”

            Hope nodded and gave a thumbs up, then pointed to Adrien.

            “Huh? Me? Oh, I don’t exactly have a villain, unless you count politics?” Adrien remarked.

            “Same here,” Court of Miracles Marinette commented.

            “Politics and a little of everything else that comes with being an adventurer,” Juleka added.

            “Oh, gosh, how do you all manage to deal with that nonsense?” Bloody Bug asked.

            The three shrugged.

            “What about you, short stacks?” Carmine teased.

            Bloody Bug shot Carmine a glare. “We were dealing with a fool butterfly user until a peacock came into the picture, Mayura. She’s a dangerous, manipulative bitch and she just loves to toy with us and that very fact that she’s leagues ahead of us.”

            “Mayura? You mean she’s evil?” Lord Bug asked.

            “I… I don’t fucking know. She does bad things. Fuck she nearly got my brother killed if I hadn’t saved him. But we learned she’s doing this because she wants to, I guess, do right by the kwamis, whatever that may mean,” Bloody Bug said.

            “Oh, that sounds almost like what happened with us. We were fighting Hawkmoth, also a crazy butterfly holder. He managed to get all the miraculous to fuse together, but when he did, he reforged Velze, so was quick to set things right for his, uh, kids,” Scarlet Lord explained.

            “Wait. For real?”

            “Yeah. He even distributed the miraculous out according to the new concepts.”

            “New concepts?”

            “Yeah. Obviously creation is creation still, but take the peacock for example. It was emotions, but now its beauty.”

            “It hasn’t always been beauty for you guys?” Lord Bug asked.

            “No,” Scarlet Lord and Bloody Bug said.

            “That’s… odd,” Lord Bug commented.

            “Very. Why would the peacock ever be something like emotions? Especially when all it knows is how to be a pretty little bird,” Court of Miracles Marinette mocked.

            “Pretty is a stretch. Granted the person I know that was gifted the peacock jewel is a pimp,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette remarked.

            “A what?” everyone yelled.

            “Huh? Oh, yeah. My family heads and myself have seen the peacock pimp often, usually in the presence of the other mafia boss, the Black Cat. We’ve tried to get information, but the lanky bitch won’t snitch,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette prattled.

            “And why is your black cat so… against you?” Coccinella asked.

            “Reverse it. I’m against him. He thinks he can just scare everything and demand respect through fear, he’s got another thing coming. I was gifted the ladybug, his opposite, to bring him down and restore balance. I will rule with respect to drive away his fear,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette answered.

            “Sounds a lot like the cat I have to deal with, in all his sexy glory,” Siren’s Song Lady Beetle cooed.

            “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Absolution Ladybug asked.

            “I agree, what the fuck?” Bloody Bug snapped.

            “What? Can you really blame a girl for finding her enemy attractive in all his raw, brutish, animal magnetism? I’d never tell my mother, but I could never bring that guy down, even though he fights against us to make a better future. I do wonder if I could convince him to fight with me, but then I just get lost in everything,” Siren’s Song Lady Beetle remarked.

            “Why are you smitten with your enemy? You should be bringing them down. Not attempting to convert them to your ways,” Coccinella scolded.

            “Oh, come on. Are you telling me you wouldn’t get weak in the knees having this big, brutish, muscular, unhinged man towering over you threatening to crush you like the little bug you are?” Siren’s Song Lady Beetle challenged.

            Court of Miracles Marinette bit her lip. “Ok, I can’t blame the girl. That’s basically my Kitten.”

            “Seriously? How can either of you justice having time for romance with your responsibilities, be it politics or a villain,” Coccinella challenged.

            “Why not? I mean, don’t you?” Lord Bug asked.

            “No! I have a whole team to keep in check as we battle a pair of bitches for who knows what they want. I don’t have time for any of that nonsense,” Coccinella shot back.

            “I don’t see why not. I mean, I’m with a few of my fellow heroes,” Lord Bug admitted.

            “Same,” Metal Bug added.

            “Well, love is sort of a thing with politics. I mean, I have to compete with other royalty for the hand of the Crown Empress. So, you know, right?” Adrien commented.

            “I agree with the Adrien. My Elders put me and Felix together to produce more Highborn heirs. That and I was going to be stuck with Felix regardless, so it’s just easier this way. I’m just lucky he knows how to make a girl feel special.”

            “Felix?” Lord Bug, Metal Bug, Bloody Bug, Of Virtue and Sin Marinette, and Juleka asked while Hope curled her lips in disgust.

            Court of Miracles Marinette nodded. She looked to the imitation Delphyne and reworked it to look like her Felix.

            Lord Bug’s jaw dropped. “That’s Felix?”

            “He looks so different,” Separate Worlds Lady Beetle whispered.

            “What’s with the scars?” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette asked.

            “Oh, that? That’s because of his father, Colt. Funny story. See, growing up, Colt was very rough on Felix as was necessary since the Black Cat is the enforcer for the Court. Whenever Felix dared to show any signs of weakness, Colt would inflict terrible sounds that would always scar. He started with Felix’s face before moving to the rest of his body,” Court of Miracles Marinette explained.

            “That’s… that’s fucked up. You’re saying he has scars all along his body?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Oh, yes. Sometimes when the slimy snake, Sass, feels Felix steps out of line, he reopens all of Felix’s scars as punishment. It’s usually a messy thing with all the blood, and Felix always passing out from blood loss, but no biggy as they always heal again.”

            “Oh my. My Felix is nothing like that. He’s just a musical theater actor. That’s horrifying thinking this could have been him,” Separate Worlds Lady Beetle whispered.

            “I’m not with my Felix, but that’s awful. I know the Felix in my world is under his father’s thumb, but I don’t know to what degree,” Metal Bug added.

            “Then who are you with?” Court of Miracles Marinette asked.

            “Huh? Oh, uh, my Marinette, Kagami, and Adrien,” Metal Bug answered.

            Lord Bug gasped. “Me too. Well, replace Adrien with Luka because I’m Adrien.”

            “My, you dogs. Well, I suppose not. The Adrien and Luka I know are just as much whores,” Court of Miracles Marinette mocked.

            “Hey, what’s wrong with multiple partners, fatass? I may not have more than Pom Pom, but I’m open for more. And she’s got Juleka,” Bloody Bug snapped.

            Court of Miracles Marinette held up her hands. “Never said there was anything wrong with it. It just doesn’t surprise me of everyone, it would be versions of them. Nor does it surprise me that those two are fucking. Besides, I have my own eyes on someone else in my Court.”

            Juleka pursed her lips as Court of Miracles Marinette winked at her.

            “What about you, sweetie? You got any lovers? I imagine all the men and women throw themselves at a beauty like you,” Court of Miracles Marinette teased.

            “Uh, well, no. Not that it matters since Luka always gets in my way of getting close to anyone. Like I’m not safe already with her.”

            Of Virtue and Sin Marinette tensed up. “Her who?”

            “She’s… she’s no one. I mean, she is. She’s a warrior clad in crimson armor. A defender of the weak and sword for the defenseless. Blessed by the kwami god Longg, bearing the curse of destructive flames, she roams the land. We’ve given her the title, Crimson Death, for when she jumps in, no villain is left alive from her burning, crimson glory,” Juleka explained.

            “Sounds like a case of hero worship,” Absolution Ladybug commented.

            “Or a hero crush. Quite romantic,” Separate Worlds Lady Beetle cooed.

            “Sounds like a bad bitch. You should totally hit that,” Siren’s Song Lady Beetle added.

            Juleka blushed.

            Of Virtue and Sin Marinette tsked. “Enough! Leaved her alone. If we insist on this topic, why not someone else share? You, the pink bug with pig tails.”

            Hope bounced and nodded. She reshaped the creative energies back to Delphyne. She silently fangirled as she mimicked a dragon.

            “You like your dragon?” Carmine asked.

            Hope nodded and grinned.

            “That’s adorable. There’s something about dragons that are lovable, isn’t there?”

            Hope jumped and clapped.

            “Is yours a dragon?” Court of Miracles Marinette asked.

            “Please. That dragon would never speak with me. Besides, my heart was stolen by a sly little trickster,” Carmine admitted.

            “My, how scandalous. What about you, little man bug? Any special ladies in your life?” Court of Miracles asked.

            “Who? Me? Oh, no! I mean, not that I don’t know any ladies. Rather there’s, uh, well there’s a guy I might sorta kinda like. But that’s a whole different story. Uh, anyway, what about you, uh, you?” Scarlet Lord rambled.

            “Me? Simple. I’m engaged to my Luka. We dated in high school, kept up a long distance relationship, until recently when he asked me to marry him. Obviously I said yes because he’s the music of my soul,” Absolution Ladybug answered.

            “Aww! How romantic is that?” Lord Bug gushed.

            “Nauseatingly so. Can we talk about something else already?” Bloody Bug demanded.

            “Like what?” Court of Miracles Marinette asked.

            “Oh! How about how we became the ladybugs? Or just about ourselves in general?” Lord Bug suggested.

            “Excellent idea. I’ve been curious about the pigtailed pink bug,” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette commented.

            Hope gave a nervous smile. She morphed the imitation Delphyne into a sequence of memories. Everyone watched Hope, as Marinette, sat in the back seat of a car that was rammed by a speeding car. Everything was a blur as the fire started. The memory faded into Hope at the hospital, hooked up to every machine possible. That scene faded to the years Hope spent recovering until she got Trixx, and then Tikki.

            “Unbelievable. You must have survived by a miracle,” Bloody Bug breathed.

            Hope nodded.

            “And the accident took your ability to speak?” Of Virtue and Sin Marinette asked.

            Hope nodded.

            “What about Tom and Sabine? Are they… gone?”

            Hope nodded.

            Absolution Ladybug touched her hand to her heart before she stood and hugged Hope. Hope’s eyes widened as she returned the hug.

            “I know what it’s like to lose your parents before you were ready to. I didn’t lose mine like this, but they were still taken from me. But you still look like a teen. Who takes care of you? You’re not alone, are you?”

            Hope shook her head. She turned to the projection and shared a memory of Bridgette.

            “Who is that?” Absolution Ladybug asked.

            “Ugh, Bridgette,” Court of Miracles Marinette commented.

            “Who’s Bridgette?” Absolution Ladybug asked.

            “Marinette’s cousin. At least, she’s my Marinette’s cousin,” Lord Bug answered.

            Absolution Ladybug shot Court of Miracles Marinette a look, then squeezed Hope. “I’m glad you have someone to look after and love you. Always cherish them.”

            Hope gave a smile, then frowned and pointed to Absolution Ladybug sighed.

            Absolution Ladybug sighed. “My parents were murdered by my Papillon. She created a monster that butchered Tom and prepared to cook him into pastries and nearly killed Sabine. Sabine saved herself thanks to the ladybug, but still succumbed to her injuries.”

            Hope’s eyes widened while Separate Worlds Lady Beetle, Lord Bug, Metal Bug, Adrien, and Of Virtue and Sin Marinette all gasped.

            “It hurts, and I’ll make that bitch pay, but always make sure to cherish who you have. And cherish every moment for it could be your last.”

            Hope nodded and hugged Absolution Ladybug.

            “Well, this is aggressively uncomfortable. Why don’t we lighten the mood. You, next to Metal Bug, what’s your story?” Court of Miracles Marinette barked.

            “Me? Oh, uh, funny story. I found out my father was Papillon and had my feelings of betrayal and hatred amplified to the point that he akumatized me and turned me into a rampaging monster that nearly killed everyone, so-,” Lord Bug started.

            Bloody Bug bristled. “Chat Blanc.”

            “Huh? Oh, yeah. H-how did you know?” Lord Bug asked.

            “Because it was a Chat Blanc that caused the initial destruction of my world. Because of him, another version of me made a reality-altering wish that made me the ladybug holder and fucked up everything,” Bloody Bug hissed.

            “Well, everyone is alive, right?”

            “Well, yeah, but that’s not the point. Everything has gone to hell with me as the ladybug. I’m fucked up, my brother was sexually assaulted, his life in shambles, and we’re dealing with a crazy ass peacock woman.”

            “Well, I mean, I’d rather all that if it means I don’t have to live with the knowledge that I nearly killed everyone, would have left them with life-altering injuries if not for a miracle serum, leveled the city, and would have… would have… anyway! Let’s move on! What about you?” Lord Bug desperately asked.

            Metal Bug raised a brow. “Uh, I made a deal with Tikki to be a songwriter, but it came with me being part of a game she was playing.”

            “Well, that sounds fun! Games are always fun,” Lord Bug commented.

            “Well, I wouldn’t-,” Metal Bug started.

            “What about you, other me?” Lord Bug asked.

            “Me? Oh, I was born blessed by Tikki and Plagg and am a Prince of my kingdom,” Adrien answered.

            “That sounds like me too. Though I’m no royalty, but a village girl. I was blessed by Tikki, kwami god of Creation, and Sass, kwami god of Life, with an inclination towards life over death. Luka got the death inclination,” Juleka remarked.

            “Huh, interesting. What about the tiny tight ass?” Court of Miracles Marinette mocked.

            Coccinella bristled. “Oh, fuck you. If you must know, I was approached by Tikki to handle the menace at hand. Nothing more, nothing less. Very much like the other blonde chick here.”

            “My, how boring,” Court of Miracles Marinette teased.

            “You know what, fuck this. I want out of here. I’m done.”

            A portal opened on the far side of the room. Coccinella flipped off Court of Miracles Marinette, then left.

            Lord Bug stood. “My, is it that time already? Well, I should… yeah.”

            Lord Bug ran through the portal after Coccinella. Juleka slipped around everyone and entered the portal. Of Virtue and Sin Marinette watched her leave before taking her own leave. Metal Bug sighed and left with Scarlet Lord right behind him.

            Absolution Ladybug gave Hope a hug. “Stay strong, little bug. We got this.”

            Hope smiled through her tears as she hugged Absolution Ladybug. Absolution Ladybug took Hope’s hand as they left through the portal together.

            Carmine snorted and strutted out with Bloody Bug behind her. Separate World Lady Beetle and Siren’s Song Lady Beetle considered before they stood and left after Carmine and Bloody Bug. Marinette and Adrien shared a look before they stood.

            “Well, this was fun. Don’t you think so?” Marinette asked.

            “I must admit, I didn’t hate it. It has left me a touch curious.”

            “Indeed. I hope to meet here again. Who knows what else we could meet in this room.”

            Adrien nodded before he followed Marinette out of the sitting room.

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[lala1267]

His girl (Part 2)

Summary: you and Elvis had arrived in Memphis, you had to get used to the paparazzi but you weren't used to this side of Elvis.

Warnings: smoking, controlling/yandere Elvis, domestic violence, mention of Elvis's prescribed drugs.

Me and Elvis were in his pink Cadillac on the way to Memphis. I was excited to get away from the farm and explore the city. But I was also anxious and worried, I was in a car with a man 12 years older than me that I had just met. The things my momma would do if she was still alive. I knew deep down that this was probably a bad idea but my love for the man didguised it. We were on the motor way, I opened my window letting the cool air rush through my golden hair. My blue eyes sparkling in the yellow sun, my freckles placed perfectly on my face. Elvis had his cigar in between his pink soft lips, his jawline was sharp, his hair was jet-black and messy. It was like looking at a Greek God. The song 'California Dreamin' played whilst we sped along the road.

The car slowed down until it came to a complete stop at a large, luxurious house. I was in awe. Paparazzi surrounded the gates whilst a group of men waited at the door for us. Elvis rushed to open his door before opening mine. He hurriedly picked me up and covered my face from the blinding lights. My arms and legs wrapped around his tall figure. I had never experienced this sort of atmosphere, I had never saw this many people in the same place. Elvis whispered to me,

"It's ok honey, just imagine that they aren't there." His voice was deep and relaxing, he rushed inside the grand doors, the shouting and flashes seemed to fade away once we were inside. He dropped me onto a soft couch inside his lavish living room. I saw a group of men walking towards me. I was scared, who are these people?, what are they gonna do? They walked up towards me.

"Hey there I'm Jerry and this is the Memphis Mafia." One man said cheerfully. I anxiously nodded as I scanned the room for Elvis who was no where to be seen.

"Where is Elvis" I said desperately.

"Oh he's making ya some food."

"Oh ok." The group of men walked off upstairs. I was left alone in a man's living room that I had only recently met. I examined the room, it was amazing, the room itself was bigger than my whole house back at the farm. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Elvis sat down next to me with a pb&j sandwich in hand.

"I got ya something." Elvis said with a smile plastered on his face. He lifted the sandwich up to my red lips, urging me to take a bite. I bit into the delicious sandwich before a grin appeared on my face.

"Elvis that's so yummy!" I exclaimed happily. Elvis's face lit up with joy, he loved seeing me happy and smiling, he loved seeing me in general.

It was now the evening, I was sat In Elvis's lap on the couch whilst he was watching TV. His large fingers played with my gold hair, my head rested on his warm chest. I was slowly dozing off, Elvis was quick to notice. He stood up with me wrapped in his large arms.

"I think it's bedtime honey." Elvis said with a chuckle.

He took me up to his grand room, it was amazing, it was lavish and neat. He sat me on the edge of his large bed before speaking.

"You gotta change into some pidgamas darlin." I nodded in agreement as he walked towards his cupboard, he pulled out a short pink nightdress, he walked over to me. He pulled my dress off me, revealing my naked body, he smiled as he put the dress on my small figure. I looked into his deep ocean eyes. I was lost in them. Once he had finished dressing me he picked me up and placed me in his bed. He tucked me in so that I was secure and comfy. He took his shirt and trousers off, leaving only his boxers, I was in awe just looking at his goddly figure. He climbed into the bed so that he was laying next to me. He wrapped his arms around me, I felt a sense of comfort rise inside of me. I drifted off into the best sleep that I have had for a while.

The next morning I was woken up to Elvis kissing my chubby cheeks. His lips felt like cotton.

"Wakey, wakey, honey" he sang in a sweet tone.

"Good morning" i said whilst stretching.

"I made ya breakfast downstairs." I smiled as I looked at Elvis before stepping out of the bed. I walked downstairs to be greeted with the Memphis Mafia at the dining table, they were already finishing their food. Me and Elvis took a seat. I quickly ate my cereal.

Once I had finished my food I got up to put my bowl in the sink, I was still wearing the short night dress, as I got up I felt all eyes on me. I felt like I was being watched like a hawk. I turned around to see the Memphis Mafia and Elvis eying me down. I walked over to Elvis who was still eating,

"Elvis can i go watch some TV?" I asked quietly as I tried to not attract attention.

"Of course darlin."

I walked into the living room and sat myself down on the soft couch. I turned the TV on.

It had been an hour since I turned the TV on, I was watching my favourite show. I heard footsteps get closer to me until a large hand ran through my long blonde hair. I looked up to be met with Elvis who had a smirk on his face.

"Do ya wanna go out tonight, to a club or something?" He asked as he got lost in my eyes.

"Of course!" I said cheerfully. I quickly ran upstairs to get ready. I was now in Elvis's room rummaging through all of the female clothes he had, I was confused as to why he even owned female clothes but he was a famous singer so I figured that he would have girls over quite alot. I picked out a light blue, short, flowy dress that had small rignstones along the straps. I had also picked out a pair of white heels, and white thigh high stockings. I was dressed like a child, I was 15 after all but I had hit puberty, I was starting to get curvy, I had bigger boobs, and I was getting taller. I was a beautiful girl, long legs, thin waist, perfect boobs. I was all dressed up and ready to go.

Once we had arrived, there was already paparazzi and a huge crowd outside of the front door, Elvis quickly pushed through them whilst holding me tight. As we stepped in all eyes were on me and Elvis, but mostly on me wich was odd. The men whistled and the women whispered, the boys, the girls, they all liked me, I was beautiful and young after all. Elvis took me to sit down opposite him on a table next to the bar. We chatted for a while.

"Can I go dance?" I asked desperately.

"Sure sweetie." Elvis replied with a smile.

I got up and walked to the dance floor, I felt everyone stare at me, but I wasn't bothered. I swayed my hips and whipped my hair, whistles came from all directions, the men tried to get a peak under my short dress. Elvis was distracted in a conversation. I felt large hands on my waist slowly tracing up my body. I was quick to turn around, it was a tall blonde man that looked glamorous. He flashed his white smile that almost blinded me.

"Hiya love, I'm Tommy, what's your name lil girl?" He said in his deep tone.

"Oh my names Mina." I said in a flirty tone, I batted my eyelashes and gave him butterflies. He was busy looking at my boobs that were glistening from my sweat. I made flirtatious jokes and comments, I had the upper hand here. That was until he tilted my chin up with his index finger, he looked into my deep eyes, he planted a kiss on my red lipstick-covered lips, it felt amazing. Before I got a chance to open my eyes I felt a large hand grab my upper arm, I almost fell onto the floor due to the force. I looked up to see that Elvis was the one grabbing me. He dragged me out of the club and into the alley way at the back. His strong grip caused me to yelp, his nails digged into my skin.

"Elvis your hurting me!" I yelled. I watched his face fill with rage before he tightened his grip and said,

"Don't you dare shout at me after making me look like a fool in there!" He was a strong man and he was using his strength on me, a small, inoccent 15 year old girl. He was hurting me so I had to do something, I kicked and screamed and punched until I felt Elvis push me onto the damp brick wall that was behind me. My body went numb, I fell to the floor as tears rushed from my eyes to the floor.

Elvis was now standing over my weak body that was on the cold wet floor.

"Why would you do this, I hate you!" I yelled. This only feuled Elvis with more rage. He grabbed me and pulled me up so that I was standing infront of him, I leaned against the wall for support.

"You made me look stupid in there!"

"What do you mean!?"

"You know what I fucking mean, you were basically eye-fucking some random guy!"

"W-what, what is eye fu-"

"You are my girl, not anyone else's, you got that!"

"Elvis I only just met you, I can't be your girlfriend, I just can-"

"Don't fucking test me lil girl." He said in a deep raspy voice. This sent shivers down my spine, I was stronger than all my men except for Elvis, he was both physically and mentally strong. I was scared of him, he was scaring me. His hands were now gripping my small face harshly. Tears ran down my face as I looked into Elvis's dark eyes, he was feuled with anger, I didn't like this side of him, he was a violent man.

"Ok Elvis, I am your girl, j-just stop hurting me, please." I said in a weak voice. Elvis's face was now plastered with an evil smile, he cupped my face softly before leading me to his car and taking me home.

It was the next morning, I didn't even remember what happened after I got into Elvis's car, my memory was blank. My head was dizzy and I had red marks on my arms. I felt nauseous. I saw a packet of pills on the bedside table, I must have taken some or something since I was feeling so bad. I got up to see Elvis who was downstairs, I stumbled down the stairs, I almost tripped over my own feet. I reached the living room where I was met with Elvis, he was all dressed up and had a ring in his hand, he was smoking his cigar, packets of his prescribed drugs sat next to him on the table. I looked to him, all I could see was the rage in him behind all of his fake personality that he shows the world.

"Well hello baby, I have a surprise for you." He said whilst he held out a diamond ring to me. I knew he was a different man when angry but I still loved him, I thought to myself that it was just a one off incident and would never happen again, or would it.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Please, give us some loser heroes

Hahaha gladly

(this got long)

I mean, I've gotta say, one of the loseriest heroes I've read recently is Envy from Throne of the Fallen by Kerri Maniscalco. I've said it before and I'll say it again--if you're looking for a fantasy romance to try, especially if you normally read historicals, this is it (and TotF does stand alone if you want to try it first versus the trilogy that comes before it).

Envy is like, on a quest to save his court, and he's ostensibly a Prince of Hell and therefore very strong and full of supernatural gifts but like... He spends so much of this book falling flat on his face, ESPECIALLY with his heroine Camilla, who is Extremely Unimpressed. (There's a moment wherein he has to do something amazing to save his own life, and she's genuinely like assuming he's just going to die lmao.) His brothers randomly show up to dunk on him throughout the book. Not even for like, plot, just to be like "Sooooo have you seduced her yet? No? Shocker." He does things he thinks are so cool and then is like "Oh God immediate regret mistake".

*love him*

Seven Nights in a Rogue's Bed by Anna Campbell is a recent read wherein the hero presents himself as very suave and confident, and he's like "I SHALL KEEP YOU HERE FOR SEVEN DAYS AND SEDUCE YOU, MY INNOCENT MUAHAHAHA" before being like "nooooo I have harmed the innocent, I AM A WORM!!!" when the heroine shows pitches an emotional fit at him.

Allegreto in Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale is another "muahahahahaha" hero, and he is like, legitimately dangerous and threatening (TW: noncon in the first encounter) but once the heroine, Elena, gets her hooks in him... He is.... a sad little baby. A sad little baby who doesn't think he can go to church because he's done too many murders and is going to hell. BUT HE'S COOL WITH THAT. He's totally cool with that.... he's cool.... Arguably even more of a loser if you read For My Lady's Heart first, which is set ten years earlier and features another couple (the hero is less of a loser but still has embarrassing moments like being visibly aroused in front of the heroine and getting called out on it by her in front of SEVERAL priests, and also thinking this heroine is his perfect lady who he's pledged to for thirteen years only to meet her for real and be like "oh my god she's kind of EVIL??? My life has been devoted to a VILLAINESS???? I'm so STUPID") and also a teenage Allegreto who does absolutely RIDICULOUS things like carry a plague apple around because he's scared of plague, and like, hold the hero's hand during sleep because he thinks the hero will ward off plague, and pretend to be A CASTRATO for an ELABORATE SCHEME which he HONESTLY DID NOT HAVE TO DO.

A Rose at Midnight by Anne Stuart (TW: a lot of dubcon between the hero and heroine at first, noncon in the heroine's past not with the hero) has another "I am such a villain, my lady!!!" hero who is actually a massive ball of guilt and angst. The first time they sleep together she actually secretly enjoys it and hates herself for it, but she didn't Get All The Way There and he walks away like "I'M SO EMBARRASSING I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT" and like kicking rocks while pretending to be very above it.

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli. Enzo d'Agostino's master plan is to kidnap the heroine by blowing up a bar for REVENGE and everyone around him is like "honestly your master plan... doesn't even make a lot of sense" even though it TOTALLY makes sense, y'all just DON'T GET IT. He then proceeds to get schooled by the heroine at every opportunity and become her dog (literally there's a bonus epilogue where she's gone for like 30 seconds and his brothers are like "look at what she did to him, he used to be a perfectly good mafia don, now he has anxiety").

Charlotte and The Seductive Spymaster by Grace Callaway has the titular spymaster who faked his death to keep his wife safe and IMMEDIATELY regretted it, returning from the dead twelve years later and getting mad that she's flirting with another man. So he like. THROWS ROCKS AT THE OTHER MAN??? FROM A SECRET HIDING PLACE? Embarrassing behavior. He also faints at one point. Like, it made sense, but I still laughed my ass off. And his wife is super competent, so she's constantly like "... really?"

Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas has Kev Merripen, who is extremely competent on paper because he's literally the only person in that series who has a real job, but emotionally... the boy ain't right. He literally thinks that if he sleeps with Win ONCE she'll get pregnant and die. He like, hides in the background. Married by Morning also has an extremely losery moment from Leo Hathaway in which he basically does that thing from that meme where he trips and drops all of his obsessive things about the heroine, and the obsessive things are tons of drawings he did of her wearing nothing but her glasses. And she's like ".... you sure have an active imagination". Honestly, Harry from Tempt Me at Twilight also has his share of cringe, like the time he thought he was super hurting Poppy during her first time, so he just jumped off her and hated himself for days and ran away and she had to literally hunt him down and go "I'm FINE now FINISH IT".

Hart Mackenzie from The Duke's Perfect Wife, I will always maintain, is a massive loser who pretend to be extremely competent. Like, he's all "Eleanor, as you know, we did it three times when we were engaged" and she's like "yes.... like a decade ago Hart... I'm not.... impressed". He's being blackmailed by a stranger who sent Eleanor (a reporter) nude photos he took years ago and he's like ".... well those certainly are photos I took Eleanor". He gets all growly at her and she boops his nose. It's pathetic.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole, aka "he's constantly being reincarnated after sleeping with the heroine, like they hook up and then he just dies half an hour later in what sound like frankly increasingly comical death scenes, and she's immortal so she finally just gives up on even kissing him"... One of the legitimately saddest heroes I've ever read, lol. He's been brainwashed into hating immortals (with some solid reasons tbf) so he's like, the head torturer in this prison of immortals (TW, it's kinda intense) and he HAAAATES the heroine and she's DETERMINED to kiss him to kill him this time because she HAAAATES him. But like. His body count is like 1.5 because he's never actually really been interested in anyone because, though he doesn't know it because he doesn't remember, his soul only wants HER. So he meets her and is very *boing* about her and HATES it, and they literally have a fight in his office where he ends up on top of her and she's like "... I can feel EXACTLY how into this you are" and he's like !!!!!!!!!! He's just increasingly confused.

Also, this leads very nicely into Lothaire, where the big bad of the series is revealed to be a frankly loony tunes nightmare who's like "honestly I'm only 50% lucid at any given time". And he does a lot of puzzles in his spare time. And he wears trenchcoats because he thinks it looks cool (it doesn't). And he's constantly getting OWNED by a 24 year old psych major dropout. Like, she'll just perfectly diagnose him and he goes "... well you got me there". At one point, she hops on it with their clothes on (because he's trying to menacingly be like "YOU HAVE NO CHOICE" but it was actually exactly what she wanted him to do) and he has an Incident in his jeans, and she later finds him in the shower and throws said jeans at him like "NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO BE ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY REMEMBER WHAT I MADE YOU DO LOSER". Sad of him.

Embry Moore in Sierra Simone's New Camelot trilogy falls in love with Ash when he's literally stepping on him. And it's honestly just a string of embarrassments after that.

The Master by Kresley Cole (Kresley kinda specializes in Powerful Losers) features a billionaire Russian mafia hero shivering in the rain while the heroine takes an important test texting her like "I hope you do well :D!" because he's trying to get on her good side again lmao I was frankly embarrassed on his behalf

A Demon's Guide to Wooing a Witch by Sarah Hawley features the demonic big bad of the last book coming back with AMNESIA and the heroine rescues him from getting beaten up in like, the first chapter. And he's all "wooooow she's so strong *_*"

Hugo and The Maiden by S.M. LaViolette has a sex worker hero who's all "I'M JADED, I CARE FOR NOTHING BUT MYSELF" getting shipwrecked while being transported on a tiny island, and he gets picked up by a giant, sweet guy who carries him like a baby (while he angrily protests) to this makeshift hospital where the heroine, a vicar's uptight, bossy daughter berates him, and it's like all downhill for his dignity from there.

We cannot forget my beloved Duke of Lockwood from The Duke Gets Even, who spends three books getting swerved or cucked or both, and finally admits he's into Nellie and is all "we shall begin a no strings affair" only to like, immediately fall in love with her. And the rest of the book is her being like "we aren't going to get married Lockwood" and he's all "but whyyyy" and she's like "because you literally said this was a no strings affair which is the only reason why I agreed to it. (Him: :(.) He's also completely broke and thinks that he, as a duke, has sway in America, and there's an entire scene where Teddy Roosevelt himself is like "I like you but I can't help you because you're actually just a broke loser here" after he tries to boss up.

Wynter from C.L. Wilson 's The Winter King is all, "I'm a conqueror, I'm so dangerous, if you don't give me a child within a year I'll leave you on a glacier to die" only for everyone in his employ to be like "girl the glacier thing is actually bullshit". He's actually a puppy. The heroine discovers that he makes sad little ice sculptures of his dead family because he's so lonely. I was like "aww" but also "Jesus dude go outside".

The Duke Gets Desperate features a duke who's an art history major, basically, and like all art history majors (I say as one) he has no applicable life skills and his estate is going under. (I LOVE a broke aristo.) So when the heroine shows up having also inherited the estate and is like "we're going to charge people for tours of the castle to make sure we can pay for it" he's all "GAAAAAASP MADAME DUKES DO NOT HAVE TOURS OF CASTLES DUKES ARE DIGNIFIED AND BROKE!!"

Mercy by Sara Cate features a hero who was literally a cheater in a previous book, a rotten SCOUNDREL finding out that what he really needs to straighten up is to be humiliated and dominated by an older woman (ideally, his dad's close friend).

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian has former highwayman and local sad man and cafe owner Kit begin tutoring dandy swordsman Percy on how to like, rob people. But Kit is ridiculously attracted to Percy, something Percy clocks immediately by being like "this loser is looking at my ankles" and whenever Percy Does Something to Kit Kit is like "THANK YOU OMG".

Oh, speaking of, Shane in Heated Rivalry is like, a perfect athlete and also a massive dork. He's also a "thank you omg that was amazing" guy and then is immediately like "I SAID THANK YOU???" At one point when he and Ilya do it for the first time his inner monologue is like "what if we get stuck together and the fire department has to come and pull us apart and EVERYONE WILL KNOW". A human ball of anxiety. Constantly embarrassed by himself. Ilya is more confident and smooth but also has some losery moments, like when they're camming for each other and he looks at Shane after and says in Russian "I'm so in love and it's horrible" lmao.

Lol Jamison from Tracey Livesay's American Royalty is notably pathetic because he's like, a frosty uptight British prince, and as soon as he sees the heroine he immediately becomes a slobbering ridiculous mess. He manages to keep up the frosty prince act for approx. five minutes.

Managed by Kristen Callihan. Scottie is so in control and prickly and TOGETHER... except for the scene where he fishes her dirty laundry out in the bathroom and does Unspeakable Things and then hand washes it and hides it under the mattress for Later and she FINDS IT.

Hotel of Secrets by Diana Biller has a virginal hero who believes he must be celibate to be an amazing operative, and he's great at the operative stuff, but he's soooo into the heroine. At one point there's a scene where she's bandaging him and she touches his ribs and he's like "pls stop" and she's all "why" and then Looks Down and goes "oh". Humiliating stuff!

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez has a hero who gets caught by the paparazzi when he's servicing the heroine on his knees in a car. Very sad for his dignity.

[rageprufrock]

am i going to watch a whole show (mysterious lotus casebook) just so i can read your fic about it? yes. Am I also indefinitely suspended in a state of melancholy yearning for your vaguely-promised addition to Whittled Down by Another War? also yes. May sleep continue to elude you.

You know what? Ask and ye shall receive at least some of it, which I have written so far. Happy reading.

The first guy Porsche ever fools around with is a Korean tourist on vacation who shoots his shot in broken Thai. He's all smooth skin and silver-blond hair, wearing skintight jeans and a billowy pearl shirt; Porsche thinks he looks iridescent in the pink light of Hum Bar, between his light hair and light contacts, and he knows, objectively, that the guy is prettier than half the girls in the room tonight.

Because Porsche is sort of an asshole, he doesn't really catch the guy's name—Taemin? Jimin? something like that?—but he does remember thinking that it might be worth figuring out what the big deal was, and holding up his cigarettes, saying, "My break's in 15 minutes." It's a decision he makes out of pure curiosity without any influence from recent social factors, new acquaintances, members of the Bangkok underworld, or their specific tendencies to walk around with their tits hanging out of their designer shirts.

It's nice, because it's almost never not nice when someone is nice enough to put their mouth on your dick, but Porsche thinks—vague with formless disappointment—that it's only nice. Out of good hookup etiquette, Porsche offers and performs what he hopes is an acceptable handjob before giving his partner some alleyway wet wipes and a cigarette. It's a solid 6/10 experience, and he ends up dropping a few Google Maps pins for the kid for good restaurant recommendations and tells him which tourist traps to avoid if at all possible. It is the most ambivalent he has ever felt about a sexual experience, and it leaves him annoyed in a way Porsche decides not to think about.

"Are you serious?" Tem demands, when Porsche comes back from the alley. "It's not enough for you to Bogart all the hot chicks in his bar, you have to start poaching guys?"

"I'm allowed to try new things," Porsche whines.

Tem narrows his eyes. "Is this about your crush on the mafia guy?"

"This is homophobic," Porsche says, feeling a rising sense of dread, because Tem is one of his best friends, and the worst part of intimacy is being known. "And anyway it was—fine. It was extremely okay. It was no big deal. Turns out I'm still just straight."

"You are a complete fucking clown is what you are," Tem says to him, which turns out to be only the third-meanest thing Tem calls him that night.

The second time Porsche hooks up with a guy, he's actually Thai, which allows for improved communication but provides stunningly little benefit otherwise. King is a solid six inches shorter than Porsche, with glossy black hair and beestung lips, wearing a mesh shirt and cut up shorts. He leans over the bar with a flattering interest and the type of confidence that looks sexy on anybody, hooks one finger into the place where Porsche's shirt button is fighting for its life, and asks if he's interested in going somewhere private after his shift.

Porsche means to say, "Oh, no, thank you, but I'm not interested."

What Porsche actually says is, "Okay. Do you have a place?" and feels Tem's glare searing into his organs from a distance of 10 meters.

The situation isn't improved when, as he's begging off closing, Yok glowers at him like a disapproving parent and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't know," Porsche says, honest. "I mean—what the hell am I ever doing?"

"Oh my God," Yok mutters. "Just—don't get pregnant."

Porsche doesn't get pregnant, but he does get pushed backward onto the creaky mattress of a dingy little apartment so that King can mouth at his dick until he's all the way hard and roll on a condom. Porsche likes to think he's polite in bed, so he tries to like, help, or whatever, but King seems to take Porsche's attempts to participate as adorable but misguided, even if he does say, "sure, if you want to try," when Porsche asks to help finger him open. It's shockingly different and shockingly the same, dipping his fingers into the hot clutch of someone's body, so weird if you think about it too much, but so immediate and close in the moment. The warm weight of another person, the smell of King's hair, the little huffs and noises he makes—those are all so good—and Porsche likes making people feel good, likes when he does something right and King says, "oh, yes, there, there." It takes him out of his own head and plunges him back into the moment, back into a stranger's apartment and a stranger's bed, back to the moment at hand where King is perched in his lap, notching the head of Porsche's cock into the slick, hot furl of his hole and sliding down, down, down.

It's good, in a way that's nothing like it's been with all the women he's fucked against alley walls, and Porsche feels sparks behind the eyes when King holds him down, takes what he needs. It's rough and a little raw, and King leaves a mean little brand of dull fingernail bruises on Porsche's thigh, from where he leaned back to get the angle how he liked and rode Porsche into the sunset.

"Not bad for your first time," King says after, just wandering around scrubbing between his legs with a towel in a way Porsche is certain no woman would be caught dead doing. "You want anything? Water? I have some watermelon?"

"Uh," Porsche says, still wearing a t-shirt, no pants and the used condom, lying on top of King's sheets like a fucking idiot. "No, I'm good?"

"Great, well, it was great hanging out tonight," King says, all business, hands Porsche his jeans and tosses him out on his freshly fucked ass.

"What the fuck," Porsche hisses, to himself, to the unfeeling universe, into the visor of his motorcycle helmet as he steers himself home, feeling knock-kneed and akimbo, run through with so much weirdness it's like he's 13 all over again.

"Well you can stop worrying, I'm definitely straight," Porsche reports the next day, when Tem traps him in the newly installed walk-in fridge and threatens him with a muddler.

Tem looks like he's in physical pain. "Please explain."

"Well I had actual butt sex with a guy—"

"Holy shit," Tem whispers.

"—and it was, I mean. It was whatever? It was good, I guess?" Porsche says, struggling, because it was good and bad and weird and near what he wanted but so far away he'd been angry showering that night, scrubbing under his pits and around his groin. It's like biting into a strawberry to find it tasteless after he's wondered for decades, saved for years, and now he feels embarrassed and pissed about it, still hungry.

"You guess?" Tem asks, sounding increasingly hysterical.

"It was just okay!" Porsche yells. "Like extremely, totally just okay! Like what is even the big deal if that's all it was? It was fine! He was super pretty and I couldn't even get into it so what's the point?"

Tem puts down the muddler but only so he can cover his face with both hands. It leaves Porsche standing there feeling humiliated and getting colder and colder for a long time before Tem says through his fingers, "Porsche, do you want me to tell you what I think?"

Porsche met Tem back in kindergarten, because when all their classmates had been comparing who had the fewest teeth, he and Tem had tied. When Porsche was too scared to go to the boy's bathroom because Jom started a rumor that it was haunted, Tem had kept watch when Porsche had gone to go take a shit in the bushes behind the gym. Tem helps Porsche sweep up his parents' graves, helps Chay with his homework; he knows where the junk drawer in Porsche's house is, where to find the extra toilet paper, the batteries, all of Porsche's hidden hopes.

Porsche absolutely does not want to know what Tem thinks.

"No, I'm good," Porsche babbles, shoulderchecks Tem out of the way, and flees into the front of house before throwing himself at every ravening group of drunk women available for the rest of the night, terrified Tem's going to reveal some truth of the universe Porsche isn't ready to hear yet.



The problem—well, one of the problems—is that Porsche still wants to talk about it. It keeps bubbling up under his skin like an itch, always on the tip of his tongue, but Tem's moved on from trying to give him tough love to giving Porsche tender looks, like Porsche has a terminal case of being a fucking moron and only six months to live. So the point is Porsche has this weird impulse, this jitter, and he can't talk to Tem about it, which means he can't talk to Jom about it, because Jom will just text Tem and Tem will come after Porsche like a surface to air missile. There are no circumstances under which Porsche could talk to Chay about it. Porsche briefly hallucinates talking to Kinn about it, the next time Kinn comes to the bar in his tailored trousers to drink too many Old Fashioneds, and it feels like someone threw a molotov cocktail into Porsche's stomach, so that's right out. Anyway, the point is, for lots of reasons, most of them bad, Porsche's go-to friend for questions about gay sex ends up being Big.

"Hey, we're friends," Porsche says. "Can I ask you about doing it with guys?"

"We're not friends," Big says with absolute conviction and a look on his face like he just watched Porsche murder a basket of kittens.

"So like—how did you know?" Porsche goes on, ignoring him. "That you were into dudes?"

Big stares over Porsche's shoulder, at the wall of liquor behind him, and appears to be suffering the worst possible torment and extremis.

"I'm just asking because like, sex feels good in general right?" Porsche barrels on, because Big can't ignore him forever. Kinn had banished him to the bar so that he could have what looks like the most classic I Hate Being Your Older Brother phone call of all time in a booth four feet away, so there's nowhere Big can go and nothing he can do. "Like how do you know if it's good because you're into dudes, or just friction?"

"You're how old?" Big snaps, breaking. "How can you not know this? Also—how do you know I'm even into men?"

"I have eyes," Porsche says. "I use them to watch you staring at Kinn."

"I'm a bodyguard," Big says. "It's literally my job to stare at Khun Kinn."

"You better hang onto that bodyguard job, because you're a shit actor," Porsche says. "Come on, seriously. I need help. Like gay help."

Big turns away from the wall of liquor so that he can stare at Kinn some more. "I wish I could drink on the job," he says, like Porsche is slowly killing him, and then before Porsche can argue his point anymore, Kinn ends his call and ambles back over.

"That was my cue," Kinn says, indicating his phone and glancing at Big.

"I'll call for the car immediately," Big says, and fucking disappears, dust clouds in his wake, as far away from Porsche and his unanswered question as possible, the dick.

Even worse, it leaves Porsche in the harrowing position of being unsupervised and subjected to all of Kinn's concentrated attention: those dark eyes huge and hungry and thoughtful, staring and staring. It makes Porsche's heart hurt; it makes him shy; it makes him duck his head, nervous, and to scrub at the spotless counter with a rag and ask, "Do you have time for one more? For the road?" too softly, too—everything.

"Not tonight," Kinn tells him. His smile looks a little glassy, too brittle and polished and polite; this isn't the Kinn that Porsche likes best, where he's wrinkled and bitchy and rude, entirely present. "But thank you."

"Of course," Porsche says, feeling hot, feeling lost. "Have a good night."

Kinn leaves Porsche a 500% tip. "You too, Porsche."

It's a lot later, and only into the forgiving dark of his bedroom, that Porsche curls up on his side and stares out his window and whispers, "Be safe." Worse than any secret Tem knows, worse than anything Big could say, that he has to grit his teeth against the words every time Kinn walks away is the worst, most exposing truth of all.

Porsche figures that now that he's ticked those two homosexual boxes, he's done with this weird little experiment. This assumption holds true until he finds himself in the alleyway behind Hum Bar again, only this time his knees hurt, bone grinding against the wet cement paving through his polyester work pants as he stares up at some guy who'd followed Porsche out during his break. Kinn's been a no-show at the bar for more than a month: there hasn't been anything in the newspapers, there hasn't been anything in the society pages, there hasn't been anything on the police scanners. Porsche blames this radio silence for the series of poor decisions he makes that night, beginning with taking two fortifying shots three-quarters of the way through his shift, and concluding with getting facefucked less than 10 meters away from a bunch of trash cans.

Long after tonight's random gay interlude disappears, Tem finds Porsche sitting on a stack of palettes in the back, letting his cigarette burn down to the filter.

"What the fuck," Tem says. "What happened to you? Are you okay? Are you crying?"

Porsche scrubs at his face. "No," he lies, because he'd definitely been crying earlier, choking on dick, and his mouth feels bruised, swollen. He's afraid to see what he looks like right now, if he would look as obvious as he feels: used up, if just anybody could see him and know immediately how much he likes how his throat hurts, the way he keeps sweeping his tongue over his teeth, chasing the bitter salt taste of cum in his mouth.

Tem's face goes through all five stages of grief before he swings back to anger, shoves at Porsche until there's enough room on the palette to sit on his right, and steals his cigarette.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oh god... Oh God Slashing, my man, I just got this thought and I NEED to put this here while it's still fresh in my mind.

Ok so you and I both write Wheezy being handsome, yeah? Especially when he cleans himself up and looks like a cologne commercial without trying?

What if Wheezy was like the groups Harper and Smartass would be Buckman pimping him out? Yeah, Greasy is already throwing himself at women, though it's safe to assume that that doesn't make women swoon XD so if for whatever reason, the group needed to seduce somebody, Smarty knows he's gotta send in Wheezy. Oh I imagine Greasy would be miffed XDD

Your thoughts?

Omg! I'm imagining that scene in Atlantis where the team is trynna 'decide' who should go schmooze Kida and Mole (Greasy) keeps popping up like 'I will do it!', 'I am your man!', 'For the good of the team, I will do it!', until Rourke (Smartass) smacks Milo (Wheezy), who could not care less, on the shoulder and goes 'Thanks for volunteering', causing Mole Greasy to start sobbing XDDD

Anyway- I love this. Here's a

Wheezy Weasel x Fem! Reader x Greasy Weasel || Drabble

Plot: Wheezy is instructed to charm Y/N, the recently ex girlfriend of a powerful Mafia toon in town that they have had some trouble with for years, and get information out of her (Like where has he run off to?)- except Greasy has a huge Thing for Y/N and he's very insulted that he wasn't given this job, and now Wheezy has to deal with Manipulative Pervert antics.

Warnings: Greasy bring Oppertunistic (Seeing Y/N's heartbroken drunkenness as an In), and just like... being himself. Also I'm not sure if this is coherent 😅

Greasy Weasel's POV

"Alright, Wheez- "As soon as Smartass glances at the smoker he does a double take, scowling. And I dont blame him, el fumador looks like a disgraceful mess- but what else is knew really?? I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. "Fucken hell, Wheezy. Brush your hair. You're up." Here I set my jaw and repress the angry words I want to spit at them both- why does he get to have all if the fun??? I am right here-

Wheezy heaves the heaviest sigh known to man kind, like an absolute drama queen, smoke slipping out of his mouth, nostrils, and his eyeballs. Honestly you'd think that if smoke started to leak out of your eyeballs you may cut back, but no... and this is the man that the Boss thinks can charm the women. Tch. Imbéciles estúpidos. "Boss, really?... "

"Yeah, really. I'm not talking for my own amusement, am I??? Heck no. Wash your face." It is going to take more then that to make el fumador a member of society, but okay-

"I was really hopin' to like... take a back seat, on this one... "

I cant help the annoyed huff, I make at this. The boss gives me a dangerous side eye and Wheezy looks unsurely at me, as if he is some kind of victim in all this, but I refuse to look at either of them; Just merely whistle and look off to our other two comrads picking at something squishy in the gutter.

Smartass rolls his eyes at me, then returns his attention to Wheezy, his eyes hard and mean. "Wheezy. There is a pathetic, heartbroken woman in there," He points at the bar we're parked next to, where Y/N is, "with information, gettin' drunk- Get your lazy flat ass in there."

Smartass' beautiful description of her almost gets me hard (she's so vulnerable right now- if I could just get close to her- speak to her- aghhhh!) but while I'm standing stiff trying to calm myself down- Wheezy actually groans (Where I can hear him!) and hunches his shoulders (Where I can clearly see him!), before slinking in.

Grrrrrrr, this ungrateful, undeserving, selfish- "And, now, we play the waitin' game. Greasy, go down the road and get us some snacks, will ya?" Smarty suddenly thrusts a few bills in my hands. Qué? Do I look like your server?? "I'm gonna take a nap in the van. And dont forget the red vines this time, will ya?"

With that, the boss slinks into the back of our dodge and slams the doors shut behind him. I make a face after him for a few moments, insulted by his usual brash manner, before... an idea, occurs to me.

As Stupid and Psycho continue to play with gutter garbage nearby, I compose a plan.

Heheh. I can be back before Smartass wakes up.

~

Ahhhh, there's the bastard.

As soon as I walk in, I spot them. Y/N's hunched on her elbows by the bar, her eyes wide with delicious, innocent, vulnerable intrigue as Wheezy (A.K.A the bastard) talks to her.

I taste something terrible watching them, because admittedly el fumador is rather charming when he tries to be (And sometimes when he isn't. I think it has something to do with how relaxed~ he seems to be, all the time. I could never be like that, not even if I, too, smoked 17 packs an hour- ) and he does have nice eyes,.. but goddamnit, that old man is going down. I can do this.

I would say I'm apologetic for what I must do- but I am not.

"Y/N!" Her body jumps when I appear on her other side, turning around to look at me with pretty rounded eyes; A definite haze of intoxication behind them. A smirk slithers across my face looking down at her. "Funny to see you here!- I had no idea. And- with el fumador!.. of all people... How nice. Mind if I join you?"

Wheezy gives me a raised-eyebrow look from Y/N's other side, but I ignore him! ^^ "Grease, what're you doin'?"

My attention is only for Y/N- pathetic, pregnable, easy Y/N. She glances at Wheezy, before settling her attention on me again. "Um- sure! What are- what are you doing here?"

"Ohh, nothing much~ Gracias for allowing me to crash your night, hermosa. Very sweet of you."

Nervously, she gives a faint smile; Shrugging. "Ohh, its n- nothing... I wasn't doing much... " Oh, the adorable, heartbroken thing she is. She doesn't know we are perfectly aware of her break up from that dumb asshole she's been with, today. Or that we kind of caused it. Afterall, he didnt leave town for no reason... Of course she doesn't- I should play this subtly.

"Mmm... and where is your boyfriend, Y/N? Surely he wouldn't leave you alone in a bar looking so beautiful~... Unsavoury types may approach." At this, I do finally look at Wheezy, and he gives me a very unamused look in return. Oh, he has no sense of humour-

"More unsavoury than you?" Y/N suddenly snaps, eyes flashing knowingly at mean- oh. She's more clever than I thought. Okay. I see.

"... can I buy you another drink, Hermosa?" She's not nearly drunk enough.

"Greasy." Wheezy warns, again. But Y/N takes a deep breath and nods, and then he's looking surprised at her. "Are you sure, about that?"

She shrugs back at him as I order her another of what she was drinking. "... yeah. I um- Brick broke up with me, today. I could use a few hundred... thousand, drinks."

Aww... pathetic little thing. Just perfect. Wheezy catches me smirking as I finger through the bills Smartass gave me for red vines, having heard that delicious admition, and gives a sigh; Rolling his eyes.

"Sorry to hear that... " He lies, because he knew very well what happened with Brick today, just like I did. Looking tired as ever, though especially by me right now (I'd know that tone in his broken voice anywhere. That tone is alllllll my fault. And I'm honoured), Wheezy gestures to the bartender fetching me Y/N's drink. "I could use a drink, too."

"Don't worry Y/N," I nudge her with my elbow, settling in close to her, and give a wink. "I will be the designated driver for us. Feel free to drink all the booze you like~ "

Wheezy taps the bar. "Make that two, will ya? 'Nd put it on his tab."

~

2 hours later, Y/N's completely drunk and Wheezy may have dragged her bar stool ever-so-subtly further from me and closer to him, but I am the one with all of her attention. I have her exactly~ where I want her.

I just need to get rid of el fumador, somehow, then-

"YOU," That voice is unmistakably familiar, and I immediately go stiff as a plank. "GODDAMN MORONS."

Oh, infierno. This is not good.

Y/N's eyebrow raises, turning in her seat and almost slipping off of it- if it weren't for Wheezy jumping forward and steadying her. I'm busy stringing a good excuse together in my head... but nothing is coming to me... "Is that Smartass?"

"Yep, looks like the jigs up," Wheezy tells her, turning to me meaningfully. He knows she won't remember anything he says, now. "Eh, Greasy?"

I dont say a word, avoiding his eye. I'm still desperately raking my brain for a good excuse-

"The- the jig?? What- "

They sell red vines in here?? I just stepped in to go to the bathroom?? I needed a glass of water?? No, no, no-

"Eh, don't worry about it doll. How about we get you a cab and send ya home? Where are yer shoes?"

By the time Smartass reaches us Wheezy has helped Y/N to get herself together (His arm around her waist to keep her from tripping and her shoes in his other hand), my chances with her tonight are successfully diminished, he's ready to take her to the door, and I've still got nothing. Smartass looks sharply at him, and he gives a solemn shake of his head. "I got nothin' after all that. Talk to lover boy."

As Wheezy takes Y/N away, Smartass slowly does turn to 'lover boy', me; A very violent look in his eyes, and I hold up a finger. As if to 'pause' him.

... Absolutely no excuse has come to mind. My head is completely blank. Smooth, in fact, like a leaf. And that look in the bosses eye is making my bladder feel weak. "... I plead the fifth- "

"YOU PLEA- You're gonna plead for the use of your legs back when I'm done with ya!! Get in the van. Get- Go- I'm not gonna tell ya twice!"

[vivwritesfics]

Hiiiii I just found fire is the devils only friend and oh my god it is so good😭😭😭

Reading the whole thing at 2:30am has got me fucked up

I didn’t realize it was gonna be angst when I started reading and that ending got me wanting to punch my pillow. This is why I don’t read angst 😳 they both were unhappy at the end😔😔 my heart strings agghhhh actually dying over here

Bath gurlll you’re writing is so impeccable I’m gonna be repeating those last three lines in my head for the next week at least. Risking it all for a seat he never had 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 plsssss why do you like to hurt us readers (I got my eye on you too Darlene)

I’ve seen from your recent updates that you’ve got a lot of wips, not an official request or anything but I was just wondering if you ever thought about adding on to it in any way? Not to have a happy ending or anything but I thought it would be cool to have like a look into their future and where they ended up

Again if you couldn’t tell I absolutely loved it 🤩and will be binging the mafia Carlos fic next

Oh dude DUDE this was so cool to read!! I'm glad you liked it, I like making Carlos and reader suffer for some reason lmao (I say that like I haven't just put Charles through the ringer, too) (actually, do I have one series that ends happy?)

I'm literally begging you to explore my masterlist, check out No Need To Ask (if you don't mind a mafia au) because that shit is my BEST Carlos work.

Honestly send me any blurbs for any of my series all the time that requests are open and I'll be so happy!! I have so many wips but I do it to myself lmao (warning, might sit in the inbox for a loooong while lmao)

[pinketine]

Kiki my darling dear can you please explain to me the premise of. Whatever the fruity men with wild ass names is because I am going insane /silly lighthearted.

The premise of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure?

Oh boy

The explanation is going under this cut because of how long winded this will be

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is an anime series focused on a family, and their bizarre adventures, shocker. There are 9 parts, each focusing on a different member of the family, all of whom can be referred to by the nickname of JoJo. Part 9, JoJolands, has very recently just released its first chapter.

JoJo is welll known for being over the top, especially in the anime with the constant colour palette changes, ridiculous character designs and poses. And yeah, it does end up being extremely gay. This is evident in the often homoerotic dynamics the JoJo has with their "JoBro"

There's also a LOT of musical references, especially with Part 4 onwards.

Parts 1-6 follow one universe, with part 6 being reset by its main villain, causing a new universe. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, this new reset universe is not parts 7-9. They are 2 separate stories about two separate Joestar families. The first 6 parts are this:

Part 1, Phantom Blood, is Jonathan Joestar, a young man in early 1900s England, who is the adopted brother of Dio Brando. Dio is evil as shit as a child, seemingly mellows out, until the pair of them are both about 19 or so, when it's revealed that Dio is still a power and money hungry little shit. He turns into a vampire and the part then becomes about killing him.

Part 2, Battle Tendency, is Joseph Joestar, Jonathan's 19 year old Looney Toon character (not even a joke, he deadass quotes Looney Toons) grandson, and starts in 1940s America before moving to Italy. He and his friend/JoBro Caesar Zeppeli are tasked with having to fight ancient Aztec Gods, the Pillar Men (yes, really).

Part 3, Stardust Crusaders, is Jotaro Kujo, Joseph's 17 year old deliquent grandson, as he, Joseph, Noriaki Kakyoin (the JoBro!), Jean Pierre Polnareff and Muhammed Avdol go on a 50 day cross contiental trip to Egypt to fight Dio in the late 80s. Yes, the same Dio. He's a vampire, ya know?

Part 4, Diamond is Unbreakable, is Josuke Higashikata (the kanji for the suke in his name can also be read as jo), Joseph's illegtimate 16 year old son in the summer of 1999 in Japan. He and his friends track down their local town serial killer, Yoshikage Kira, 33 years old, lives in the North East section where all the villas are-

Part 5, Vento Aureo, is Giorno Giovanna (Yes it's pronounced JoJo), the illegtimate son of Dio and Jonathan Joestar (it's GENUINELY not what it sounds like.) in 2001 Italy. He and his band of friends all named after Italian foods go on an adventure to kill the leader of the Italian mafia, Diavolo/Doppio Vinegar, in order to stop drugs being sold to kids.

Part 6, Stone Ocean, is Jolyne Kujo, the 19 year old deliquent daughter of Jotaro, and takes place in 2011 Florida. She and her friends break out of prison, save Jotaro and stop Pucci, a priest and follower of Dio, YES THIS GUY AGAIN, from resetting the world.

Those are the first 6 parts, and the first 6 JoJos. We then leave this universe, and join a completely new one. Important side note: Stands are only introduce in Part 3, with Parts 1-2 having this type of magical breathing named Hamon!

Part 7, Steel Ball Run, is Johnny Joestar, who is this universe's Jonathan, in 1890s USA. In order to regain mobility, he partners up with JoBro Gyro Zeppeli in order to win the Steel Ball Run horse race to learn the Spin and collect the corpse parts of Jesus Christ. He ends up having to kill the US President, Funny Valentine.

Part 8, JoJolion, is Josuke Higashikata, nicknamed Gappy, who is clearly this universe's Josuke in 2011 Japan. I never read JoJolion, so I'm not too familiar with the plot, but I do know that Gappy is actually two men. Like. He's a Steven Universe fusion of Yoshikage Kira and Josefumi Kujo. I'm not shitting you.

And now, we have the newly released Part 9, JoJolion! This is 15 year old Jodio Joestar, and we don't know much of the plot yet due to us having only one chapter. He seems to be this universe's Giorno, but maybe not a son of Diego Brando was ran over by a train. Apparently, it's the story of how he got rich. Right now, he's a drug dealer who was born in New Jersey and now lives in Hawaii in the present day with his sister (IDON'TCAREWHATARAKISAYSSHEISATRANSWOMAN) Dragona Joestar and his mother.

Something interesting to note is that the 7-9 JoJos are very much unlike their counterparts. Jonathan is a gentlemen, Johnny is a pretty selfish cold blooded killer. Josuke is a sweet kid, Gappy kills without remorse. Giorno resents drug dealers, Jodio is one.

So that's the premise for each part! I could go even more indepth, but I think this gets the point across. JoJo's premise is that it's a bunch of bizarre stories 2 families go through.

Anyways, part 3 is my favourite and my favourite character is Kakyoin ^-^ but my favourite JoJo is Johnny

[thatscrazyrandom]

Oh my god speaking of Goncharov, my friend and I got someone so fucking good it was so funny.

My friend looks at me and goes: Hey, so what was your favourite Scorese movie?

Me, not at all understanding where he's going with this but fully on board with the bit, I reply: Goncharov, obviously.

And we went over a couple of scenes for a moment.

People were a little confused, then the conversation got derailed for a minute, before this one guy at the table bring it back.

Turns out, he's a massive Scorese fan. And for context, my friend who bought it up has seen like no movies.

So he was just completely baffled at the fact that a) there was apparently a Scorese movie he hadn't seen and b) that apparently this friend has seen this random super obscure early 70s Scorese movie but hasn't seen literally any other.

And so it went on for a solid 5 minutes of me telling him about this movie, I was like: Oh yeah, it's a Mafia movie, the main character is Goncharov, and his wife is Katya, and there's this clock motif that everyone loves. It came out in the 1973, but it's had a really big renaissance recently, have you really not heard of it? It's really hard to find copies of. And telling him about my favourite scenes, with my friend (who by the way isn't even on tumblr, and only knows about Goncharov bc I told him about it) chimed in to back up what I was saying.

And this guy is sitting there just absolutely baffled, before eventually my friend caved and goes "You have to tell him, he's going to die" and I showed him it was all fake.

It was very funny.

[szczek]

casey can you pls tell us what the symbols in the corner of ur oc refs means c: looks at you like this twiddling my thumbs

well my dear jit the answer is simple i made a little symbols to convey which characters belong to the same universe.

like the first one is a lil gun cause the main story follows zixue and him being an ex “mafia” (mafia in brackets cause this is a little different but he was a trained killer who was under one boss before he went rogue) member there’s a lot of violence and shooting involved so a lil gun it is :D

second we have lil music notes because it’s a nice story about a group of friends who are in a band together :)

third i gave them a lil star because the story is set in the future which follows mostly dorian who alongside with aurel accidentally get into a situationship which gets them involved in an organisation who tries to take down not really an evil government but mostly one person who controls everything from behind closed doors but also they do get to fly some spaceships so yay stars :p

fourth is supposed to be a drop of blood cause it’s a vampire story about a vampire family and their drama while also some other stuff brewing in the corner

fifth a sword cause yk it’s a fantasy setting where an ex soldier gets approchaed by their army commander to task them with keeping the queens younger daughter (which no one apart from the royal family and few closest ones knows even exist) because she ran away while her older sister fell sick to find a cure so a swishy sword

sixth (oh god so many of them) i basically ripped of the ghost doctor cause it’s abt jane who can see ghosts and mercy who happens to have recently became a ghost and they annoy each other very much so they get, you guessed it, a lil ghostie boo

seventh! a 16yo girl goes missing in a small town, so the three 14yo friends decide to unravel the mystery behind this disappearance and their man suspicion falls onto the guy who went to juvie for having killed his family in a fire years back so they’re getting a lil flame

and last but not least eighth, they got a heart because i rly didn’t know what to give them and honestly it’s a story abt a ceo with darker side and the country’s most beloved star who despite appearances is not having a good time let me tell he is very much not so it’s a story about the two of them the two very lonely people from completely different worlds who find each other :^)

ok i bet you weren’t expecting this much info but BUT to explain the symbols i had to explain the stories!! also with the first one the gun it’s one universe but like most people there have no relation to Z so they just mind their own business but same universe so they still get the gun pew pew

[eviltiddyproductions]

Vincenzo : Episode 14

He was so happy to see him drenched in blood ! (Vincenzo and the little brother)

The little brother and Chayoung fighting about their age as the other lawyer goes (year of the snake me too!)

their little thumb bump! oh they’re walking out of the office. this is the first gif I’d seen of this show along with the one where Chayoung pulls out a gun !!! (back then I assumed she was always a part of his mafia)

his little smile is so adorable 😭

I’m scared he’s going to push the prosecutor out of the window this family is actually crazy I’m so scared

the local gang are the paper company expert 😭😭😭

oh I forgot that Mr. Cho met somebody

technically y’all are working together then! y’all were moving towards the same goal like both of you want criminals GONE

I was about to say last episode that I’m wondering when he’ll see his mom again

Talk about Wusang snaking in and spoiling a wholesome moment. AGAIN

LMAOOOO I think everyone’s double crossing. Evil Lawyer Lady is talking to his brother, Wusang Owner is speaking to Vincenzo 🤣

His brother didn’t even bother to hide the contempt or anything. Heard Vincenzo and was like tell me 😡

I also completely forgot about the gold plot.

Vincenzo’s better than me lol except that the evil lawyer lady is probably already using his brother against him

idk if Adrenaline is playing because the younger brother now likes Vincenzo or it’s actually being used for the dramatic effect as compose and god intended

rolled up sleeves, the sexiest thing a man can do 🤷‍♀️

look at them dancing !!! just kiss already 😭😭😭 cutiessss

Evil lawyer lady always getting on my nerves

lmao Vincenzo and Chayoung looking at the building people like disappointed parents

at least the ghost lady opened up! the building isn’t going down 🙏

these three 🤣

did not see that coming! major slay

lmaooo he looks so cute dressed down

aaaah look how happy that memo made him!!! it’s so heartwarming to see how they all care about each other

my building peeps and the little gangster gang <3

they conveniently have a hacker when they need it the most. lmaooo she wanted to be the date. my sweet girl 😭🤣

FAKE DATE IS COMING SLAY

also love how when she was pointing him to the rental thing, he first looked at her

SLAY MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER

He’s got the prettiest shy smile

he’s so. the Italian in him comes out during the funniest times 😭

oh ‘they were clearly meant for you’ smoooth except our little mouse ran away

the white actors being bad isn’t just a Bollywood thing. it’s in KDramas too 💀

BUILDING LADIES LOOKING FINNEEEEEE slay

cute 😭

slay zombie dance man! looks so good actually

no the pasta 😭

LMAOOO in the preview I thought they came up with the proposal thing. This is hilarious

the lady said ‘say something romantic’ and my man came out with a simple ‘will you marry me’ 💀

lady being the classic fan fiction trope of someone cheering on the first kiss! thankyou lady!!!

fake kiss or not I take my kiss how I can 😭

MY SISTER took the initiative. my sister! my girl for a reason!!!

his eyes are open like the other kdrama girlies do when someone kisses them 😭 #mybabygirl

oh he’s taking it. it’s my girl’s chance to flutter her eyes open lol

I was going to compare this to a Jake and Amy kiss but this is more 💀

also I just realised neither of them have had any romantic relationships up until now. I was low-key expecting someone to show up as a third angle ngl. this is nice though. a chill slow burn with no confusion. 🥰🙏

the straight cut to lord Buddha

are they getting married in this plaza ?! 💗

wait this is actually so sweet! stay happy sweet white couple

Kopiko?!! is Korean too. I recently found out coffee bite is from Lotte too! damn Korea and the coffee candies slaying globally

girlies complimenting each other slay

honestly if I were them, I’d keep hugging too

me

my weight lifting girlie looks so good with that eyeliner

just realised how TALL the art director

my babies doing too much 💀 I knew they were looking at the wrong thing

ofc it was something like that it always is 😭 a floor mat

the director leaving something so important with these two is so 😭

thanks sweetie 💀🥰

not them impersonating the police 😭

everything on the main desktop 😭 classiK TV shenanigans

the goons are actually so funny like ‘I told you to take the speed reading classes’

did my sister just eat it from the wall. Vincenzo striking as one of the most unserious shows once again 💀😭

yes art director! you’re thinking

the Italian hands

my girl is actually so hot for that

THAT WAS SO HOT OF HER ACTUALLY

gifs fool me again mind you I thought this scene was going to be 50x more serious than this

her dress is super cute actually

the bodyguard actually holding the art director down as they fall!!! see @ junior CEO’s security, that’s how you security

aww that little smile

that’s family actually 💗😭

no the Italian brother is here

does she get to keep the jewellery

his little sweetie and that laugh. kiss for real rn I’m so serious

nooo someone’s tailing them

who’s getting shot I’m so scared, he is I guess

every show needs balance though. every lead should get hurt equally to make it fun

[rockinlibrarian]

💞🎀🎈

If I can be greedy like that!

Yay, more Asks! I really like the questions in this one (the ((REAL)) Asks for Writers or whatever it was called-- I just remember the "((REAL))"), so the more the merrier!

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters. I really enjoy good plotting-- whodunits are my original favorite genre (to read-- I barely know where to start in writing them!), but it's the characters that make you CARE what happens in the plot. ESPECIALLY in fanfic, because in that case, you ARE most likely there for the characters, and if you get the characters wrong, what's the point? Oh, and WHY are you in fanfic for the characters? Because it's the characters that got you hooked on the source material, too. So it's a cycle!

That said, once you've got that, if you've got "the technical stuff" wrong, it's really distracting and ruins the moment! I have mourned opening a nice sweet non-smut-Fiktor-shipping fic only to find it practically unreadable through funky grammar! There aren't ENOUGH nice sweet non-smut-Fiktor-shipping fics to waste them like that!

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Well. My own writing definitely succeeds in entertaining ME!

Also, I care about getting the characters right.

Also, I'm pretty good at dialogue. I write snappy dialogue.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

This is an interesting question. Well, when left to my own devices, I tend to ramble in writing. It's like all the words that have trouble coming out of my mouth just erupt onto the page or screen. I am the MASTER of the run-on sentence! There are too many thoughts and they must all come out!

That is, of course, why REVISION exists. As my original writing goal had been to be a middle grade fiction writer (and that's still my goal if I ever get up the nerve to write original fiction again) (and to be honest, if you go through my fanfics you'll find more than a few stories that can pass as middle grade, too, even if the source material was anything but-- looking at YOU, Loudermilk Chronicles*), I studied How-to-Write-for-Children texts and even took two separate correspondence courses from the Institute for Children's Literature, and the key thing I learned from them was how to be CONCISE. Ironically. So I learned to make my stories MOVE. I will have you know, I once had a critique from Bruce "My Teacher Is An Alien!" Coville himself at an SCBWI event and he specifically complimented my concise storytelling! (Also, he loved Billy 'Arrison, and that is the most important thing of all!)

So my voice, and style, tend to feel middle grade (in fiction at least), and they tend to be past tense limited-third-person, which is also very middle grade. But every so often I DO switch things up, by, like, attempting to write a ballad canonically written by the actual God of Poetry; I have some first person pieces (most of which are still in process come to think), mostly because the source material is first person, or, in the case of the Pipeweed Mafia epic, actually IS me-- that one also spends most of its time in present tense, which is rare for me, and I'm not even sure what inspired me to do it that way.

*(Or, the "Childhood Friends AU" version, "Two (or Three) Mutant Freaks Against the Fourth Grade," WHICH, by the way, is my answer to the FIRST question on that Ask List, "What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)", if any of you were going to ask that, so HAH, I ANSWERED IT ANYWAY, because it's just a sweet little story about nerds making friends that anyone can enjoy even without knowing the source material and I LOVE it and somehow it has gotten the least hits of anything except the Pipeweed Mafia, which is just crack I just threw up there recently and was not expecting to get much in the way of hits, anyway)

[noahfandomstudies]

Episode 2 transcript

[00:00:01.470] - Speaker 1

All right. Welcome back to another episode of Wiseguy Wisdom. My name is Noah.

[00:00:05.550] - Speaker 2

And this is, uh, Cappy.

[00:00:07.890] - Speaker 1

Yeah. So, um, today, um, this is actually going to be a really interesting episode. We're going to talk about, um, you know, culture capital and its important Sopranos. Um, since The Sopranos whole big shtick is that it deals with Italian Americans, but, like, not in like the, you know, the traditional like, oh, like like like my point is they address like themselves and so like they address like the stereotypes and whatever in the show. But, um, I think it's also like, like important to notice how, um, you know, even though it is fictional, it still takes place in modern times in like a pretty realistic setting. Um, and I feel like David Chase, um, the show's creator, who also grew up in, like, Italian northern Jersey, acknowledges that, you know, he shows like, the guys hanging at the deli, you know, he shows the guys at like the strip club. You know, he shows like all this stuff, the jewelry, the jewelry.

[00:01:07.290] - Speaker 1

Yeah. You know, like, uh, like stuff falling off of trucks, you know, and like, stuff like that, you know? Um, but, um, no, I feel like it's it's really important because it says, you know, about more about, like, not even stereotyping, but like, um, you know, where does he get these? I like ideas and concept from, like, are they just stereotypes or are there, like, you know, some people who could be like, yeah, that's pretty much what we do, you know, like, so because there have been people, you know, there have been like, um, actual like real. I've seen videos like real gangsters and like show how accurate The Sopranos show is. And some of them say it's a little bit like it's a little bit stretched, but, um, some of it's pretty accurate.

[00:01:47.670] - Speaker 2

Yeah. For sure. Um, so I feel like for, for the culture aspect, um, um, Sopranos definitely hits it on key with even when like are they film of like like like the New York family. Like I feel like that's super key as well. And even when they do like like the construction contracts, like, like even if you look today in, like some major cities, like the Italians like a control a lot of those big contracts, though, and like, like the unions still, for the most part, are ran by Italians. But like the Italians ran everything back then. And I feel like just until, like very recently, until, you know, like a lot of them are starting to like to, like, die off now and like, not as many, um, like, like younger generation Italian kids are, are like, um, going into the life and a lot of them are choosing school and stuff. And nowadays I feel that it's just getting less and less.

[00:02:50.040] - Speaker 2

But I feel at the time of The Sopranos and even before the Italians ran most, um, industries and unions. Yeah.

[00:02:58.710] - Speaker 1

No. And like going off that like I do have the youth, um, like a part of the show is like, you know, I think it was in season one when like, Metal Strap just has. Are you in the Mafia? Oh my God, you know, like big point in the show. Um, and, you know, she's just a kid in the early 2000, you know, like, she doesn't really know much about this mafia stuff. But it's interesting because I've, like, met, like, like people in real life who they're like, oh, yeah, like like, that's like a joke. You know, I'm like, oh, you're Italian. You have any family in the mob? They're like, oh yeah. No, we, I have like grandparents and great uncles and shit. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, oh, so what about they're like, I can't tell you, right? So this is like an actual like decently good representation of like, you know, how they deal like the Italian culture like deals with it.

[00:03:49.230] - Speaker 1

And um, another thing is like they, um, you know, obviously, you know, you're not going to see like, like, like Paulie Walnuts, like walking around like a guy in a tracksuit, you know? But there are like like, listen, growing up in North Jersey myself, I have seen, like and heard about like even just heard about in the news, like actual like Rico cases, you know, like involving these like mobs through like, money laundering and, you know, just drugs. Drugs like like grand like grand larceny. Yeah. So like to my knowledge, it's not that far off. Like, yes, it's a fictional show, but it's very like he puts it in this almost, like, hyper realistic world. Yeah.

[00:04:37.020] - Speaker 2

And like, I know that some of the, um, like, like actors did, like, have, like some mafia experience, I know.

[00:04:46.200] - Speaker 1

So yeah, there was literally um, I saw it was on a talk show. It was one of the cast members of Sopranos. He said he got a call in the middle of the night, and they didn't say who it was from. They just said, um. They said, listen, we've seen your work.

[00:05:03.050] - Speaker 2

Guys don't.

[00:05:03.530] - Speaker 1

Wear white. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He said, listen, we've seen your work. We like what you're doing. But let me give you one thing. Why these guys don't wear shirt, which is like like when I first saw it and I first heard that, I'm like, oh my God. They actually, you know, are acknowledging it like, they're like realizing how they're representing the Italian culture. Um, you know, in like almost praising it, um, which is a very strong thing, especially coming from the mob itself. Right.

[00:05:33.830] - Speaker 2

Definitely. And like, um, yeah, obviously, I think a big thing too, that we can touch on is how the FBI. Yeah, I kind of, um, like, infiltrates these, like, families and stuff. Yeah.

[00:05:52.100] - Speaker 1

Yeah. No, it's, um, and it's interesting because, like, the FBI, um, in the show, they're like a very prominent force. Um, they literally, you know, um, like, almost like, disguise themselves, kind of doing, like a almost like a sting operation. Um, like they'll be like, hey, how's it going? You know, we know you're kind of in the mob, but we're going to be, like, very discreet about this. Like like in the show, you know, they're they're literally getting advice from Tony and his gang about, like, foreign, like, Pakistani terrorists because they're working for Homeland security. I've heard of that actually happening. Um, friends of, um, of my family, um, who have relatives have said that the FBI will literally sometimes like, well, they didn't like they couldn't really out themselves like, as crime. But they said that we they're like, yeah, we've had FBI people and come in and been like, do you have any information?

[00:06:48.080] - Speaker 1

Because wink, wink, we kind of know what you're up to.

[00:06:52.010] - Speaker 2

Yeah. And like I feel like the parts who we're like Tony, like the mob boss, like he gave, um, like the two FBI agents. Like, like information about about like about, like, uh, um, terrorism and stuff and like, obviously. Yeah. I feel like if you ever got, like, like, prosecuted and stuff like, like who, who knows if if that would even help him out in, in court and like, even to, like, um, the omerta like code, you know, where like, like the code of, like, silence and stuff. Yeah, I feel that. I don't know, like if if mobsters would actually like, like, like help it the FBI. I like that, you know, but I mean, who knows? I mean, anything's possible with this stuff. Yeah.

[00:07:38.960] - Speaker 1

Um, another thing I want to point out is because I actually have a lot of, like, personal, uh, good friends who are from, um, you know, very traditionalist Italian families. Um, from the family aspect, I would say they get a lot of it. Very accurate. You know, they're like the Italian, like, family dynamic. They're very close, you know, they're very family oriented. Um, they're very loud. Um, but also, um, you know, I feel like the show does a good job about, like, you know, showing how to, like, really care about, like, your children and like, cause in the show, the whole thing is, like, we don't want this life for our children, right? Yeah. They try and keep it as separate as they can. Um, but, like, you know, at the end of the day, they're just regular families, like, you know, we see Tony like, going to his son's football game and cheering him on.

[00:08:23.510] - Speaker 1

You know, they have the giant Christmas dinner. Yeah.

[00:08:26.510] - Speaker 2

Um, Sunday.

[00:08:27.560] - Speaker 1

Sunday, Sunday dinner. Right. And they like, you know, they're, um, one of his cousin. His like, babies communion is like a big thing. So I would say from the family aspect, it's very good. Spot on, spot on. Yeah. All right, well, thank you. And we'll see you in the next episode.