#OH MY GOD I JUST FUCKIG BEAT HIM

[ssnuemoon]

Twinhook Gregor save me ahaha…

(god I wish I had better ids r heath and spice yi sang and seven outis can only get me so far as the staples of the team. Idk if he'll help but Hes hot)

[queernoctis]

i did it.... im free of rebirth spoiler hell... a collection of unfiltered thoughts below [spoilers obv]

first off here's my stupid long liveblog thread on twitter. lots of screenshots of sephiroth there.

-glennseph on main BUT GOD I FEEL SUCH A WAY ABOUT SEPH USING GLENN TO FUCK WITH RUFUS.... BUT DUMB LITTLE RARE PAIR GETTING SOME FOOD

-Every cloud ship ate in this game oh my god. i think clerith prob got hte Most but sefikura, zakkura, cloti, fucking roche/cloud even love and peace on planet earth

-ZACK ZACK ZACK ZACKARY FAIR THE MAN THAT YOU ARE his little depression shack in midgar, feeling torn between helping biggs and helping cloud BEING WILLING TO GO TO HOJO TO HELP CLOUD ugh. and seeing biggs shot right in front of him in one world too. my man is truly experiencing the horrors. love to see that if he lives he'll be a dilf tho.

-ough the northern crater and cloud handing over the black materia is going to be so fucked and so tasty in r3 i just know it. he's already acting so fucky. i cant wait to see him beg hojo for a number.

-sephiroth clone roche.... oh my boy what did you do....

-gongaga was everything i wanted and more. cissnei. the cc music. just. ough.

-speaking of cc tho.... where is he..... my beloved fruit....mr drama king himself..... god the whole Loveless play was just teasing me the entire time. especially summonign fuckig Phoenix at the end. if genesis isnt in R3 im going to sue. idk who but someone.

-cloud actually remembering zack and then "remembering" a death for him.... ough that shit hurted

-jut. fuck. the Everything from the temple of the ancients to the end. it was all so much but it was all so good.

-i feel like overall it was easier than remake?? but that might be because i beat remake on hard not too long ago. now i have to debate if i want to beat This game on hard. [pls tell me not too]. the final boss still took me like five tries tho.

-Elena's pink girly pop gun. that is all.

[nnugatoryextravagance]

YO YO YO!!! I HAVE SILLY QUESTIONS!!!

1. Out of all your ocs, which one is your favorite?

2. Out of all your ocs, which one could beat up goku and how

3. Do you prefer cats that go "mrep" or cats that go "mrow"

4. If you have a fursona, what species is it? If you don't, what would the species of your fursona be?

5. Your Most hated food?

6. Your Most hated musical artist/band

And finnaly

7.

Oh my sweet god I owe you my life I love answering silly questions

1 - Favorite is definitely my boy Onycraft..... the fucking guy ever I stopped using him for a hot minute but ngl I couldn't be happier to have brought him back, probably corny to pick my oldest oc ever but call me ohio because im corn as fuck

2 - Ok this is almost definitely cheating but i think, safest bet would be my guy Alendren solely because hes from some race of space giants who literally create planets and goku would be like a tiny bug in his hand

In terms of a relatively fair-er fight though (not immortal and not unfathomably massive) I'd probably go with my other guy Yoholeio, due to both him being a very skilled marksman who collects guns and me currently having no reason to beleive that you cannot just shoot goku if you tried hard enough even though I know you said "beat up" but the idea of some middle aged monster guy shooting goku is too funny to me to not mention (I have not watched dbz in, probably a solid decade btw but its ok)

3 - My god I could never possibly choose, my cats do both....... mrep mrow dual weilders when I get out their food or when I exist anywhere ever

4 - Unless a palm tree counts as a fursona I dont, but I think if I had one it'd probably be... star nosed mole, I love those thangs also because i cant fuckig see and my legs are weird and I yearn for the soil

5 - Green Beans, worst thing I have ever eaten in my entire life and bear in mind I have literally eaten dry dog food before, I would genuinely eat shitty cheap brand dog food kibble before ever eating green beans again, I WILL die on this hill

6 - Thats honestly a really hard choice because theres, so many that I hate but its like not due to their music I just hate the people, also I am terrified of bringing any discourse near me because all the ones that come to mind first are other figures on the internets and im paranoid

7 -

[roachemoji]

04 02

The place i watch this on suddenly has an ad over everything WHILE IM FUCKING PAUSED AND I CANT GET RID OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! so i dont get to take a screenshott of subtitles

ANYWAY HOPPER IS AADKJSHAJDH HOPPE RUNNING IS SO FUNNY IK HES RUNNING FOR HIS DAMN LIFE BUT DAMN !!!!!!! DID HE GO IN THE HOLE

oh okay somehow just. hes the only one who survived not getting absolutely obliterated ofc!!! that makes sense !!!! OFC!!!!!! OFC THAT MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!! idk think it would have been better if Hopper actually died but ig only really good sweet sensible people get to go :/ (sarcasm)

Max and the ptsd niGHTMARES BABBEYYYY we are SHAKING HANDS (SHE IS NOT BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS)

OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT CHRISSY ???

ARGYLE AND JONATHAN AND !!!!! WILL LOOKS MORE EXCITED THAN EL DOES AKDHJAKJDKJHKJH

OH THE. HU G? FUCKING. WILL BABEY GOD. OH OW?

ARGYLEEEEEE !!!!!!!! ASKJHDDKAJSHDJHK IM FU CKI NG OH I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

BLURRIEST SCEENSHOT EVER BUT OH MAN. OH BABEY BOY OH ? OH. :(

OH I HAVE so many thoughts. About EL and how she's acting AKDJH @aemiron-main When im done and you tell me all your thoughts about MY THOUGHTS im gonna come scream about how autistic El is and all that that entails i cant even put it all into words rn BUT OUGHASDHKASJD

Robin and Steve's friendship mAKES me so happy!!!

oh NANCY BABY IM SORRY

OH THEEEE UPSIDE DOWN CAMERA ANGLE PANNING TO CHRISSY'S BODY!!!!!!! OH I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU!!!!!

EVERytime you hear cats and ou just KNOW its Dustin's <3

Ya know i feel like at this point everytime the lights flicker in hawkins i'd be pissing and shitting my fucking pants AKSJDHAKJHS LIKE ???

MURRY JUST SHOWING UP TO CALIFORNIA LIE THIS AKJDHAKJDHAS. BECAUSE... HE... EVAPORATED. SORRY IM WITH MURRY ON THIS ONE KINDA WISH HE HAD EVAPORATED !!

bro literaLLY crawling out of the pits of hell okay!!! imegery or something!!!!!!!! thats how you spell that!!! THE ELEPHA NT??????????? GIRL HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH ITS. AKJDHAKJHD YEAH. OAY. YEAH.

WILL LOOKS MISERABLE OH MY GODDDDD

AUTISM TO AUTISM COMMUNICATION. AUTISM TO AUTISM CONFRONTATION.

THE KID WITH THE I LOVE CONTACT SPORTS SHIRT ?????????? AKSDJHASDJAKSJDH GOD IM SORRY TO WILL WHO JUST LOOKS MISERABLE.

oHH i forgot about Benny :(

IM SORRY HIS LITTLE FUCKIG ANGRY WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I N HIS GOD DAMN KHAKISSSSSSSSF KAJHFKAJHFKSDJHFKSDJH!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHITE MAN YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FRED IS. AKSJDHSAKJHSKDAJKJDHSKJHAD !!!!!!!

BRO WAHT IS H APENAKJSDSHKAJSHD OH DAMN. OH FAMN OKAY JESUAKSDJHKJ OKAY OKAY THIS IS. SUCH A GOOD MOOD SHIFT HOLY FUCK

WHOWEFSKFJHKSDJH ARGULLEEKJHAHKJSKJHDDSKAJHKHJADS !!!!!!!!!

oh i m not STRESSED with angela coming around i wann exPLODE HER. AND WILL BEING IMMEDIATELY WORRIED!!!!!! PLEASE o h no HO no o H no

god this. HURTS SO MUCH ACTUALLY AKSDJHASKDJH AND THE OVERSTIM BABY GIRL PLEASE OUGHHHHH EXPLODES THEM EXPLODES THEM EXPLODES THEM EXPLODES THEM EXPLDES THEM

OW GOD HIS TOES IN THE SNO W ??????

is Joyce just going ? to Alaska? OH NO PEOPLE ARE COMING TO HAWKINS ????

oh the costuming is. Really good!!! the. blond haired blue eyed white boy in a polo lol. lmao even

okAY OKY CLOCKS !!!!! Clocks are a thing this season

OH THE FIRST VICTOR MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CREELS HAVE ENTERED THE SCENE

BRO THIS SEASON FUCK SO HARD THIS IS SPOOKY AS SHIT i cant wait to ead what all this symbolism means bc my ass doesnt geT it just yet <3

WIL L WAS SABOTAGING ?? YEAH YEAH FUCKING TELL HIM WILL!!!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT US ouughKASHDAKSJDH this entire convessati on HURTS AND THE MUSIC ???? WHY AM I THE BAD GUY MI I IEKKEEEE IS NOT. SELF AWARE. AT ALL ACTUALLY

EXPLODE THEM EL EXPLODE THEM EXPLODE THEM EXPLODE THEM. GOD I WANNA FUCKING KILL HER HOLY SHIT DESTROYS HER DESTROYS HER DESTROYS HER

BRO ORO AKDJHADKJDSKJADSKJHDASKJHAKJHDS KJAHS AFSKFDLHSLFDSK LJHFDLKSH ROOOOOO BR OOOOOOOOOOO O HMY GO D GIRL HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SIRRT BYT SHE DESERVED THAT LMAO. LOL EVEN.

DFKJHKDJFHKSDJHFKSDFH KSHFKSJDHFK JE DDIES RIGHT ACTUALLY.

DUSTIN BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Girls just been wandering the park yelling about Fred the whole damn time? has it not been HOURS? were the cops not there???? the whole time ???? already ???? SORRY FRED RIP

i MEAN yea know ???? Fuck bro I'd be running too after that holy SHIT? ID pass out ??? throw up ??? piss myself ???? ya know ???? Sorry that running puts blame on you but damn AKDJH

KSFJDHSKDFJHSDK IM SORRY VUT VECNA SAYING THEIR NAMES IS SO FUCKING FUNNNYYYY STOP !!!!! IDKY SAYING FRED IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND

o UUGHAKSDH the way He just ? DROPS is. EouGH.

alRIGHT KING I SEE YOu with your nasty ass tentacles !!!!!!!! your Little spider web!!!!!!!!!!!! IN your little house!!! in your little church!!!!!!!!!! Gargoyle steeple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

agAINNNN music with no lyrics damn

Stranger Things Season 4 Thread!!!!!!!! 04 01

theres NO realistic way in hell some kid was chucking that shit every damn day and making it !!!!!!!!! bro would have smacked someone in the fucking FACE by now!!!!!

starting off with a freak ass routine gotcha gotcha gotcha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aGAGGLE OF BALD CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been. 4 minutes and im already so uncomfortable with how they hold the kids hands to lead them around lmao

Brenner cant draw for SHIT girl if that was me id tell him i dont know bc its fucking UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH. HES RIGHT.

GOD hes. i hate hate hate hate hate hate his fucking face it makes me so uncomfortable.

GIRL HELLO !!!!!!!!! DAMN LMAO

EXPLODES THEM EXPLODESTHEM EXPLODES THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the TONE shift from the last season is really getting to me girlie like that last one didnt feel REAL and this one feels VERY present. even with the rainbow visuals in the room?

OUGHH GOD HES SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

HIS EXPRESSIONS ARE SO ???? HIS GASP SEEING A DEAD KID??? IDK HOW TO PLACE IT.

damn girlie what did you do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EL'S !!!! FUCKING AUTISM ACCENT? LOVE HER. LOVE HER.

ARGYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODIM SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM !!!!!

I CANT PUT INTO WORDSS HOW MUCH I LOVE THE TONE SHIFT AND THEM BEING OLDER AND EL'S LETTER TO MIKE BEING !!!! SO.

THEYRE ALL SO BIG NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAREN LOOKS SO CUTE AND TED? KILLS HIM.

SUZZIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DUSTIN <3333333 THEYRE SO CUTE

STEVE AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEOOPLE WHO LIKE BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ING STE VE. BI MEN AND THEIR LESBIAN BESTIES ???

MAX IS NOT BEATING THE TRANS MASC ALLEGATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT NOW NOT EVER NOT IN MY HEART

UCAS LOOK SO FU CKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIS HAIIRRRRRR

WHO TH FUCK IS THIS ARCHIE LOOKING WHITE MAN ?????

THEIR PANTS ARE TEAR AWAY ? I GUESS THOSE HAVE A FUCKING USE .... WHEN IT COMES TO SPORTS ? BUT STILL KAJDSHKJHADS IM FU CKING KAJHDKJAHSD. THEY DIDNT DIE SO WE WOULD LOOSE AT BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP

Lucas is making a good ass point butalso im so sorry he doesnt wanna be a loser nerd freak anymore :pensive:

the fu cCKING RUSSIANS LAKJSHDAKSJHDKJ HDAMN GIRLIE HOLY SHIT BE CAREFUL ? EW. EW? WHOSE THE LITTLE WHITE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH ELL BABY YOU GOT THIS. YOU GOT THIS!!!! GO AUTISM GIRLIE!!!!!!!!

IM GONNA KILL. EVERYONE IN THAT ROOM. !! PLEASE LET HER JUST. OUGHHGH GODD. WILL TEARING UP TOO. FUCKING EXPLODE HER!!!!!! EXPLODE THAT FUCKING. BITCH HOLY SHIT ?

WILL IS.

MAX ?? QUEER WHATS WITH THE... GREEN SCRUNCHIE?? THAT THE OTHER GIRLIES HAVE

LUCAS approaching Max who... is the only one who is like ? LOUDLY suffering with shit after watching Billy die and be traumatized vs the core group not NOT being traumatized but handling it VERY DIFFERENTLY ? like they always "bounced back" and Max isn't

o h JESUS WHAT THE FUCK HELLO ?????? bro aksjdhkasjhakhkKJHDFKJSDHFKJH DAMN I WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT BATHROOM HELLO WHAT THE FUCK

Eddie doesnt SOUND like i thought he would ???? AKDHAKDJH i forgot about the hanky code my mans wearing

dustiinnNNSFNKJKSJH DUSTIN. AKJSDH!!!!!! MIKE'S FACE.

Eddie's vibe is. AKHASKDJASHD like my ex boyfriend from highschool

MURRYYYY !!! MISSED HIM. LOVE HIM. RIP ALEXEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she has nIPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGYLE AKSJHDKASJH!!!!!!!!!! MOPEY DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NANCY LOOKS SO CUTE!!!

ARGYLE CALLING HIM A FUCKING GOOD BOY KJHSDKAHADSKJHADSKJH YELLING

im sorry literally N OON wants to play DnD you just have to find the gay people !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (40 years from now)

Out h ere being Mentally ill in da Woods as you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what gay ass drugs are we selling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hes DRAMATIC fucking theater kid. that man's NOT STRAIGHT !!!! and also defenitely has ADHD. chewing on his fucking HAIR !!! stimming i see u !!

EL BABY GIRL IM SO SORRY I WAN T TO EXPLODE THE WORLD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO KILL FOR HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOY SHIT . MAKE THEM PISS THEIR PANTS GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OO OoOOO H BABAKJSHD I FORGOT HER POW ERS ARENT ,,, WO RK ING,,, ABY IM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, THIS IS FUCKING PAINFUL.

tHE focus not having been on Will the entire time except for a snippet here and there is REALLY NICE ACTUALLY likE!!! IDK BUT IT IS. TTHAT MANS FIGURING OUT HES QUEER TOO

MURRY JADKASLASKLJSADKJ !!!! MY MAN ABSOLUTEL LOSING HIS MIND

sTEVE IM AKSDJHS SORRY GIRLIE LMAOOOOOO fuc kinggGGGG TAMMMYYYYY AKSDJAKDHAKJSDHKAJSHD ROBINNN GIRLIEE IM SO FUCKING SORRRYY. JDKLKJDLKJFDSJLKDF I WA NNA FUCKING.

ERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY GIRL IS BACKKKK YEAHHHH FUCKING LOVE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HER HAIIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR HER TO DESTROY EDDIE

DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fucking mountain dew cansssss his DM set up is so good

I JUST LOVE HOW DND IS USED AS FORESHADOWING BABEY !!!

Dusstin and Erica working together like THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH. love u lady applejack <33333

FUCKING GET IT ERICA!!!! LUCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASSSEEEEEEEEE

YYYEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thOUGHT he was tlking to like a lizard and not a guitar AKSJD

IS Chrissy just experiencing like a psychotic break ?? delusions??? I cant tell if its like. ACTUALLY happening to her or something to do with the UD ? Dissociative seizures????? DISSOCIATIVE SEIZURES AND THE UD ?????

FEEL LIKE ALL THE SPIDER VISUALS AND SHIT ARE IMPORTANT AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW YET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH IS THIS VECNA ? SIR !! YOURE. WET :/

BRO HELLO WHAT

KING WHAT DOES THAT M EAN

ASDASKJHD KASHDKASJH SORRY TO EDDIE WHO THOUGH YEAHHH A FRIEND :3c

GIRL WAHT THE FUCK EXORCIST SHIT HOLY HSHKJASJK LSHAJKHAD HE RE YEB ALLS!!!!!!!!! BROOOO AKSJDHKASHDKASHD

yeah so season 3 was. liike. different and now ? we're back at it!!!! we're back at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSRRIGH alright

ending with a half song again no lyrics inchresting

[andoqin]

Shows I've watched in 2021 pt 2

These are the shows that I watched and finished.... but man do I fucking regret doing that now for a lot of them. Often the show shat the bed or i just watched it and wasted my time and I should have just dropped it. There are some in here that I feel mostly blah about, that I finished mostly because i was heavily skipping through :(

The Veil - Nam Goong Min got *really* buff and roughed up for this one. And I like action-y shows and they made the smart decision not to make it 16 eps, but man, the mystery and writing was so blah, the plot points so forseeable and while I appreciate Nam Goong Min really transforming himself he also just got stuck in "Badass Mofo" mode and it kinda felt like I was seeing him struggle to act like that. I gave it a 6.5 bc he does try very hard and with 12 episodes and some skipping it's not a total chore.

The Silent Sea - Gong Yoo and Bae Doona doing a short Scifi show? Sign me tf up, AND Lee Joon is also there. The cast was fuckig stellar, but uh there were supposed to be smart people on the station and it *really* really didnt feel like there were. For plot convenience everyone got to be an idiot at least for some time and I honestly think that it would have been better off as a movie because some plot threads felt very "red headed stepchild". Plus as a movie I possibly wouldn't have started wondering how the presentation of the premise and the premise as a whole even work... 7/10 because the acting is good, the cgi is also pretty good and I wanna support scifi stuff and I'm maybe giving it a bump for Gong Yoo and Bae Doona that it doesn't quite deserve.

The Tasty Florida and You Make Me Dance - two outings from Koreas recent push into BL content that are blessedly short but also don't really offer anything new and the acting and writing is suspect at best sometimes. Thankfully both are blessedly short, so it's not like I wasted a lot of time. They both get 6.5 stars but I think YMMD does have better acting than TTF.

Hellbound - For a 6 episode show it sure knew how to tank after only 3 eps, I mean damn. Yoo Ah In sells his role pretty well, as is expected of him, but the shoddy CGI monsters just feel hilarious and weird and not scary. While I do think that the opening is very well done the tension just starts to bleed out and Kim Hyun Joo's character get's to be a badass... but also how? I mean I'm glad she got to kick ass but I just felt like the latter half expected me to just go with it in a way that made me go "uhhh nah". 7/10 but honestly only bc I did enjoy the first half the latter half is like a 4.5

LUCA: The Beginning - OH MY GOD where to fucking start with this show. 8 eps of all I wanted and then it just lobotomises Lee Da Hee's character and then the ending is just the fucking cherry on the shit sundae. I was honestly *really* vibing with the way this show was using its athmosphere to sell its story, and even the (completely nonsense lyric) OST song was a fucking banger and Kim Rae Won was great in the role, but my god the writing. The writing is the block of cement around the shoes of this drama, dragging it to its death. This plus the next entry really made me wary of livewatching anything in 2021 because christ. It gets 6.5 stars only because the first 8 eps were pretty much 9-10/10 for me and so strong but the last 4 eps are like a 2/10 at most.

Mr. Queen - Fuck this show and the homophobic horse it rode in on. 19 eps where Shin Hye Sun gets to deliver the role of a lifetime, just nailing every single beat and doing the silly (and very funny) humor with a gusto that is rarely seen, plus a slow developing romance between a king and his queen who changed so radically but finally also sees him for who he is, plus the show even had the king let go of his first love in a way that felt organic and believable. The bad guys were a bit eh, but the show was being hard carried by SHS acting her heart out as the modern cook Bong Hwan now caught in the body of a woman in the past. The slow emotional connection that Bong Hwan built up with the king was a highlight of the show for me and I really felt like they had captured the essence of the cdrama original, but well then ep 20 happened, well specifically the latter half and the show thrust me and its general audience the middle finger and expected me to believe the genuine connection between the king and Bong Hwan (who was influenced by the previous' souls feelings which I will believe) was... pretty much all the previous soul who was just hanging around in the body and when it came to ~skinship she came back out and it went pretty much uncommented in the latter half of the show.... Yeah no, I could write a wholeass rant why the show did not earn the ending it gave me. 3/10 only because I really liked the show previous to the ending.

The Uncanny Counter - This show is not as bad as the previous 2 entries, but the plot really wasn’t made for 16 episodes. The main character really began to grate on me and I felt like the villain(s) only got by for so long because the script demanded that our protagonists turn into idiots. I didn’t mind the found family stuff, in fact that was ace but I was also not really into the way the show struggled to make it work, because the main character had a life outside the found family. Once again the writing wasnt really strong enough to support it during its entire run and while it didnt shit the bed as badly as the previous entries this drama should have been 12 episodes at most. 7/10 but a very low 7 I’d say.

Dali and the cocky prince - Another show I felt struggled to support its 16 episode run, plus the ~mystery and plot was paper thin. I also found Dali as a character to be wholly frustrating (not to mention her hair) and Moo Hak really was making me cringe in second hand embarassment a lot. I did like their shenanigans and their romance was cute and the characters do feel like they belong with each other but theirs just wasnt a story that didnt vibe with mine. I felt myself nodding along with the “traitor” in the gallery more often than not because Dali really seemed like she had her head in the clouds to a lot of things and I guess rich airheads just don’t do it for me. 6.5/10

Squid Game - The drama that took the world by storm... for some reason. I’m a big fan of death game type stories and netflix put out Alice in Borderland last year which I loved (for the most part) but SG is just fucking stupid and everyone in it is an idiot. The hype about it didnt help, but I watched it before it became a Global Phenomenon so it’s not like that influenced my opinions. The fact that *none* of the hundreds of participants (other than I guess the best friend antagonist) thought about how to game the system seems mind-boggling to me. Coupled with the fact that there are only 3 very simple rules for each game and they’re always the same and they are literally shut in place with nothing to think about the rules and the games I would have liked some more ingenuity. Plus the games were kinda eh and then the last episode was terrible and turned Gi Hoon into a fucking asshole and still expected me to like him and I was like no thank you. I will not be watching the sequel since I doubt the writer has the chops to course correct if this is what SG looks like after he’s been thinking about it for 10 years. 5/10

Move to Heaven - This one wanted to be a big tearjerker and I have a big soft spot for Lee Je Hoon, but other than one episode (the first one iirc) none of the plots moved me even as I felt the writing desperately trying to tug at my heartstrings. Maybe it’s because I have the stellar Tatortreiniger a German half hour comedy as a comparison, where the poignancy is only ever hinted at and the script just full of gags that only creep up on you because in the end, cleaning up after a dead person is just a job. It can be moving, it can be touching but often it’s a bit mundane and the comedy is about that. Idk I guess I just like that view of it a lot more (Go watch Tatortreiniger if you can!) 6/10

Law School - I watched this on the strength of a few gifsets that crossed my dash and while I don’t regret it and I think the acting is fine it also didn’t really blow me away and I didn’t really retain anything from my watch. 6.5/10

Mad for Each Other - Well Netflix says I finished this. I don’t remember doing that. I do remember that I liked the way it treated trauma (in the beginning) and the way that two very damaged people could heal each other but then it began feeling rote and boring and that’s where I lost interest I guess. 5/10 because I can’t really rate sth I don’t remember all that well.

13 shows I finished, where I really hated 2 of them another 2 I had some big issues with/forgot halfway through that I watched them and the rest are watchable I guess but with big caveats. *sigh* 

[yanderemontgomerygator]

headcnaon/fanficit9n: motngonedy gatoe is yandere for glamrock fedtutd but glakrock fredy is wearijg a metaliica shirt qhen he cnt even name 1 metalica sung.

start

[motngoejry gqote was at the mal waititmg for his dat, glamorkc freddy. he was wit his 2 feiends, roxnanen wolf and glamrocj chica.]

roxnane wofl: oh my fuckig GOD wBene the FUCK IS HE DGINNA BE EHRE!!!!!

montgomery gatro: clam down roxnaen. hes lriably spendig extar time geting ready becaus we are goig on a date whil we ar here :)

glamrocm chidca: he is luck that ghis mall haz pretzel. othewise i woul have kiled so many child.

rjxmane qolf: true i love kil child.

montohkenry gator: tru i wish i cold kill child vut glamrock fedy is a fuckig pacifism. but i am yander fr him os i can deal wit it.

glamrk chica: you kno motngoemry gator i notice this comon theme that yoy always say you are yandbrre for glamfock freddy but you nevr actuslly do anything thT sugests that you ar a yandere.

motngoenry gatoe: shut yhr fuck up oMG HES EHRE!!!!

[the gang loked at the dors to the mall an daw fredy walk in. he looekd exactly the aane as usual, exceot his metal was newly hsined, and he was waring a metallica shit. motngoemry gator daw this shrit and imemdistely his moth fell agape as freyf walked up tonthem.]

glamdock fredy: hey gys :)

glamrock DCchida: hey

roxnabe wolr: hey

morngoenry gator: WHAT. THE. IFUCKCKCKCKKCCKKCKCKCKCKKC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@!!!!!@@+!!+!!!!!!!

glameock fredy: wiag whats wrong motngonery did joe biden mak another tweet [my hedcanon is that motngoemry gator is stupied and a republcian btw]

nootngoemry gator: why are oyu wearing METLLICA SHIRT???

glamrocj freyd: oh i jaut found it ib hot topic on day an i thofyrt it was cute :)

motbgoenry gstor: can youneven NAME A MELTAILICA SONG????,

gkmarock frefy: no

motnfoenry gator: GDGEGRGEGRGBARKBARKABRKBARKBARKBARKBARKBAKRBARKBEKEVEKSDBHAHAIISHSIISHSISHSISHWAISHISSSSHISSSSSE

roxanen wolf: jesud montohneyr gator calm the guck down ira jsut a shirt who cars.

motngoeney gaote: OH IM SORY ROXANE. IM SOO SOARY. /S IDIOT. THIS FU K8GNG GU Y HAS HIX DICKAN D NIPLES HANGOJNG OUT CONDTANYLY HE HA S NEVERWOR N A SHIRT ONCE. AN THE ONE DAY HE DECUSDES TO COVER HIS NASTY ASS FREDY FAZBOOBS HE DECIDS TO FU KING WEAR A METALICA SHIRT WHEN HE DOESNT WVEN FUCKINT LISTEN TO HETALICA.

roxnane wolf: bruh holy fu k i sont care can qe just go.

motngoemry gatoe: YO KNOW WYAT. SURE IF FREDY CAN NAME 1 METALVIA SONG EIGHT NOW WE CAN GO.

glamfock fredy: oh! hey jude!

motngoeney gator: ARRRREEREEREERERR. AARARARAEARRRARAREA.GRERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFHRGRRGGRGRRGGRRGRGRGGR. GRRRRRRRRRRRRERARARARARARARARARARARARARRARARARQRA

[mitngiemru gator lugned at glamroxk fredy and riped off his emtalica shirt in the least sexual wya posible.]

glamroci chica: MONTOFMERY WHAT THE FUCK. YOU'R GONQ GET US KICKED OUT OF THE MAL AGAIN LIKE THE TIM YOU PUNCHD MY BEAK OFF FOR WEARIG A SEINFELD SHIRT.

motngoenry gator: *pucnhig fredy* YO UDONT FUCK8GN WATXH SEINFELD CHIXA YOU PUNK BIGCH.

glamrock chcia: BUT I LIK THE SHIRT ITS A COMFORTBLE SHIRT MOTNGIEMRY.

roxane wolf: yeha and thisn is also like that tim you bit off my ear aftr yoy saw me buy five nits qt fredies merch.

motngoenry gator: *pucnhiign fredy* YOU DOT EVEN PLAY FIV NIGHTS AT FREDIES.

roxane wolf: IM IN THE CUCKING GAME MONTGOMERY.

glamrocj chica: ysah motngoemry i think the isue here is thay you're jus a gatekeeper.

motngoenryvgator: *pucnhig frddy* A GATEKEPER???? I AM NTO A AGATEKEPER. I AM JUST PUTIG ALL THESE FNADOM FAKRS IN THEIR PLACES AN oh my hod i am a gatekeepr

[motngoemry gator stoped punchig fredy as the mll security finaly appriched them.]

mal cop: HWAG THR EFUCK QR YOU DOIG!!!! IFF I HAD A GUN I WOLD SHOOT AN KILL ALL OF YOU!!!!!!

motngoenry gatir: yeah but you dnt pussy ass. com on guyz lets go.

[motngoemry walked out of the mal. roxane an chica picked up glamrok fredy an caried his beated up body out of the mal beuind motngomery. the gang rdconciled in the parkig lot.]

motngkenry gator: guys... i am sory. i dint realiz i was such a gatekeper.... but i wil chang. i do not wan to gatekeep... i want to girlbos....

roxane wolf: wow

glamrock fciaha: COOL MOTNGOEMRY!!!! IME SO PROD OF YOU FOR-

motngoejru gator: shut up. an fredy i am sory for pucnhig you to death.

roxane wolr: what do yoy mean 'to dath'

montgomery gat: he is dead i kiled him

[glamrock chdica an roxane wolr both looked at fredy an realized that he is, in fac, dead. thy both screame and called the polic on motngoemr gat9r. the polci tok him away an he never gatekept again. roxane an chica also lesbian so they end okay.]

end.

hey guysg sory if this on seems rushd i qm workig on an idea tht i had for a upcomig yander motngomy COMIK SERIES!!!! it wil be so col an it wil have a mlcontinuous story! so keep eye out! an als this post was delay ebcaus i was celebratig my birthday!! [marth 12th :)] anywys thal you guys for yor continud suport. i thik you al wil like comik series. i am excitd to use ql the comics an my fanfics to aply to coleg. :)

[sassy-pelican]

Never Before

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Prompt: Eating Out (day 2)

Warnings: smut (duh), oral - fem receiving (what ever gave it away?), nastiness, some fluff. 

A/N: I have no shame people. None. Let’s also all ignore the state of things right now and assume that Sebastian can be filming something like this, and that he doesn’t have a girlfriend (all the happiness to them). Or you know, pretend that this happened prior to this shit year. No time is specified so it’s whatever. Basically porn with a little plot (but not much). This continues on Day 7. 

It wasn’t that you were nervous for the various sex scenes with none other than Sebastian Stan, a friend you found this industry a few years ago. No, you could disassociate yourself and get through them without feelings just fine, have done so before. It’s just that well, one of them was different.

That particular scene was steamier than most, more intimate than others you’ve filmed. With all the precautions it wouldn't be intimate while being filmed but it would be a different experience for you. He wouldn’t really be going down on you, that’s silly. But he would be the first man, person really, to have his head between your legs.

Sebastian had no idea of course. You weren’t about to disclose that information to him before he has his face pressed awkwardly against a fucking maxi pad. No, that would only do more harm than good. 

“You ready?” Sebastian asks, stepping up beside you on your way back to set. 

“Sure,” you reply, unconvincingly. 

“Oh come on,” he teases. “You’ve seen me naked more times than I care to admit by now. This isn’t going to be that bad. I’ll be almost fully clothed this time.”

“You ready for a face full of maxi pad?” you tease him, trying to deflect away from your nerves. 

“As I’ll ever be, well as long as it doesn’t get stuck to my face.” It pulls a laugh from you, a genuine one that puts the nerves to rest for a moment. 

“I’d pay good money to see that, Seb.”

“I’m sure you would.”

The second the set comes into view your heart starts beating out of your chest. For fucks sake, you’ve been practically naked pressed against him before. This isn’t that bad. At least you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t going to be as awkward as you’re making it. 

You’re ushered into your dressing room and put in the scarcely there underwear set before being shoved out and into the fray. Yet, even as you know that it’s part of the script, seeing Sebastian in everything but a shirt makes you feel underdressed, as in, not at all. 

“Nice lace,” he says, eyeing you appreciatively, something he didn’t do the other times. Of course, the other scenes were often tearing clothes off. 

“Nice pants.” The button and zipper of his jeans are undone and you are almost surprised they aren’t falling off his hips. 

“Places!” The director yells, everyone following the order, including you and Seb. 

Your back is on the bed, legs spread and he’s looking at you from between them, and if you knew it wasn’t acting, you’d say you could get used to it. 

“Action!”

His hands skim up your legs, leaving very real goosebumps in their wake. Lpis follow his hands, leading up to the apex of your thighs. You’re positive that if a pad weren’t in the way he could see you starting to get wet. Even the lights and microphones surrounding you aren’t dulling the ache. 

Sebastian’s nose grazes the front of the lace panties, and you bite back a moan. You may have filmed sex scenes with him before, but not like this. Fingers pull at the sides of your underwear, dragging them down your legs. Once again you’re thankful for the barrier between you and his face, however unromantic. 

He smirks, then lifts your legs over his shoulders and dives in, face pressing against the fabric of your covering, the light pressure enough that your clit feels it, even if only slightly. This time you do moan, hoping that it sounds real enough for the camera and not so real that Sebastian starts to realize what he’s doing. 

His hands move to your hips, gripping them tight as he starts to move them, indicating the wanton pleasure he’s giving you. If only he knew. You throw your hand over your head, clutching the pillow and let out another moan. 

It’s for the camera. It’s not real. At least that’s what you tell yourself as you fight to keep your hips from bucking for real. Every move of his head shifts his nose that’s just hairs width from your clit. 

“Perfect! That’s a wrap!” The director yells. Sebastian pulls himself from between your legs as you try to collect yourself. “We’ll review the take and get back to you tomorrow. Today’s been a long day for everyone, go home and get some rest.” You’re thankful that was the last take of the day. Any more time around him after that may have done you in. 

The fluffy robe pulled around you as you lounge in your hotel room feels nice compared to the high strung feeling over your nerves. You’ve had a man’s head between your legs now, and you want more. The mere preview of that it could be like wasn’t enough and you want more. You want the real thing, tongue and lips and everything. 

You sit up, all reason out the window and before you can tell yourself to back out, your slippers are on and you’re across the hall, knocking furiously on Sebastian’s door. “Dammit Seb, open the damn door!”

“What the hell?” he asks, hair looking still damp from a shower, the same fluffy robe wrapped around him as is wrapped around you. You push past him and sit on the edge of the bed, he shakes his head but closes the door. “What’s going on?”

“I want the real thing god dammit!”

“I’m not following,” he says, still standing by the door, confusion written all over his face. 

“Don’t make me say it,” you plead, but when he only stares at you you resign yourself to your fate. “You were the first.”

“Y/N,” he says. “We’ve never actually had sex. I can’t be your first.”

“Fuck! Not that!” you yell, hands flying to your hair. “You were the first person to have their head between my legs!”

“No one’s ever eaten you out?” he asks, completely stunned. 

“Fuck,” you sigh, sitting back down. “No. And the preview wasn’t enough you bastard.”

“Shit,” he says, his own hands going to run his fingers through his hair. “I would’ve backed off had I known.”

“I don’t want you to back off,” you say, shyly for the first time since entering his room.

“What?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t want you to back off,” you say, looking him in the eyes. “I want the real thing.”

“Are you drunk?” Sebastian asks, eyeing you skeptically. 

“Dammit, no!” you say. “Can’t I do this when I’m in my right mind?”

He stares at you, blues eyes boring your soul. “You’re sure? One-hundred percent sure?”

“Yes.”

Sebastian wastes no time, before your next breath he’s holding you by the cheeks and kissing the hell out of you, tongue already asking for entrance. You gladly give it to him, hands now clutching at his shoulders. 

In seconds he has you on your back, hovering over you, tongue still exploring the expanse of your mouth. You have no shame admitting that you’ve never been kissed so thoroughly and don’t know if you’ll ever be satisfied with any other kiss again. 

Fingers play with ties of your robe, slowly, torturously slow, push the sides, exposing you to his gaze. Normally being looked at like Sebastian is looking at you makes you cringe in embarrassment but this time, it fills you with pride. This god-like man is staring at you with such hunger and lust that you can feel it in your soul. 

His lips trial down your neck; tongue licking circles around your nipples before continuing lower. He’s already got you panting and you’re still in your underwear. You can feel his breath tease your clit, his nose barely bumping it as he places a gentle kiss over the fabric. 

You’re lifting your hips, allowing him to pull the offending fabric off. If your mind wasn’t so muddled you might have been able to tell what he cursed but as it was all you knew was that he was holding your legs apart before diving in. 

The contact of his lips on your cunt sends a  jolt of pleasure through you and he moans as he tries to hold your hips down. Never before have you been as thankful as you are now for his long tongue. Sebastian’s tongue prods at your entrance, tracing the sensitive flesh, before licking up to your clit and flicking. 

Your eyes roll in the back of your head as he sucks, hard, and it has you seeing stars. You’ve imagined the sensation sure, but you never thought it’d feel like this. Either you are extremely sensitive, or Sebastian is a master at eating pussy. 

“You taste so good,” he groans, holding your lips apart before he sucks once more on your clit. 

You let out a hoarse moan, arching your back off the bed as he holds your hips. Sweat is dripping in between your breasts but you don’t care, not when his mouth is doing wonders on you, not when Sebastian has you experiencing things you never thought possible. 

He moves down slightly, pushing his tongue fully inside you, the muscle reaches depths you thought impossible for a tongue, as his thumb rubs at your sensitive nub. 

“Fuck,” you moan, grabbing his hair and pulling. Sebastian’s groan of pleasure reverberates through your cunt, and you have to bite your lip to hold back another. 

“Let me hear you,” he whispers, coming up for air. You smirk. He wants you loud, you can be loud. “Let me feel you.”

Your fingers fist his hair, and tug harshly and you watch as his eyes roll, mouth opening in a silent moan. “Fuck me with you tongue.”

Without wasting a moment he obliges. You get more than you bargained for. Instead of just the thick muscle of his tongue, which you now doubt you can live without, he adds a finger. The sinful combination has the coil that has been building in your stomach tighten. 

“Shit!” you yell, throwing your head back and pushing him further into you. “Feels so good.”

You can feel him smile against you, still tongue fuckig you while his finger moves down and circles yoru back entrance. He feels you tense and retreats, not without a smirk. 

His hands move back to your thighs, pulling them apart and holding them there with strength you certainly couldn’t fight with the state you're in. 

A harsh suck against your clit and you scream. “Oh fuck! Seb!”

You feel yourself gushing against his face, and you can’t bring yourself to care. Your hips move of their own accord, riding his face through your orgasm, his nose bumping your clit with each pass. 

Sebastian finally pulls himself away, smirking. “Everything you’ve ever dreamed of?”

You smile wickedly. Just because you’ve just had the best orgasm of your life doesn’t mean you can give him the upper hand. “I don’t know, I might need one more experience, just for research purposes.”

“I think I can do that,” he says, crawling back up your body, tongue tasting of yourself pushing into your mouth. 

You push your hips up against his, flipping him onto his back. “Not before I return the favor.”

[brooken-tcc]

Brooke

It was the anniversary of my mother's death.

I was drunk, resting my head in Leela's lap, giggling about nothing.

We must had been loud, but we didn't care.

Ms. Polinski was on dorm watch and we weren't afraid of her, I actually think she was afraid of us.

She'd knocked about three times in fifteen minutes when she finally looked in, we never gave her an answer.

"Thompson, Donovan, you've got two minutes to dress up and go to sleep." She pointed at us and we looked at each other, bursting into laughter. "Alright that's it." She got her phone out and pretended to be calling someone.

"Stupid bitch." Leela whispered and I sat up to feel less dizzy. "Who's she calling?"

"No one." I rolled my eyes and walked up to Ms. Polinski. "Hasn't been two minutes, has it?" I smiled and walked past her to go to my bathroom.

I didn't need to go, I just wanted to annoy her. Then about two minutes later Leela walked in on me, wearing a shirt already and handing one to me.

"She fuckig called Owen." She said and I laughed again.

Leela didn't find it so funny.

Owen had the reputation of a chill, laid back guy, and the yelling, strict teacher at the same time. I think he had some self control issues. Anyway, he was all cool, until it came to cheating or using substances. Then he became the opposite of cool. Maybe he was bipolar.

But he'd never yelled at me.

Also, I wasn't sure if Polinski called him to yell at us or to hang with him, she definitely had a crush on him. Who didn't?

We decided not to get out of the bathroom, Owen wasn't allowed to come in, was he?

"Open up girls." I heard his voice. He sounded mad.

"Brooke's sick." Leela yelled and I groaned, kneeling in front of the toilet to pretend.

She held my hair and flushed the toilet.

"Can I come in?"

"No!" Leela yelled again, but the door opened and Ms. Polinski looked in.

I'm guessing she saw us being dressed and let Owen in, cause by the time I looked up he was standing next to me.

"You two are done with lacrosse, and you can be glad I'm not taking this any further." He didn't seem to be joking.

"Owen, I..." Leela tried, clearly scared.

I think she always took him more seriously than I did. Maybe she was right to do so.

"It's Mr. McField for you." He groaned and I could feel Ms. Polinski's pride, thinking she is the only one calling him 'Owen' tonight.

"We barely had anything, you can't be serious." Leela continued.

"I warned you three times." Polinski pointed at the door, telling Leela to go back to her room.

"You didn't." I shook my head, still kneeling at the toilet.

I figured I would make them uncomfortable and made myself throw up, I didn't want to be around them any more.

Just as I thought, Polinski ran to the hallway, unfortunately dragging Leela with her.

"You alright luv?" Owen got down next to me, flushing the toilet when I leaned back to the wall.

"Must be bulimic." I smiled after whipping my face with toilet paper.

"Definitely not drunk." He laughed. "I'm not gonna yell at you, but you're off my team." He said in a surprisingly nice voice.

Well I guess I deserved that. Papa will be proud.

"Alright, go on home." I nodded, I wanted him gone.

If he didn't see I was suffering, then I didn't need him there.

"I'm on dorm duty in the west wing." He filled me in, not sure what for.

"Then go do your job." I got up and went to the sink to wash my teeth.

"My hands are tied Brooke, I can't fuckig help you if you keep breaking the rules." He sighed and reached for the door. "I'm a teacher, for god's sake."

"That's right." I smiled with my toothbrush in my mouth. "So go on and be a teacher." I waved goodbye and he left.

He fucking left me again. Just like last time.

Well, I left him that time, but he could have come after me. Fuck him.

I fixed myself up and went to bed, having that bitch Polinski check on me twice as I did so.

I texted Leela to say sorry, it was my idea for once to drink tonight, I got her into trouble.

"I'm sorry Brooke. I know you don't want me to help you, but at least don't pretend I'm not trying to. - Owen" He messaged me.

He had my number from lacrosse tournaments, we had group chats and stuff, but we rarely ever texted privately, and even then, only about lacrosse.

This was strange, but exciting.

I guess Owen and I always had a strong bond, a bond that kept us feeling close to each other, even if we didn't necessarily knew the other one. We just felt like we did. And I liked that feeling.

"Ok." I answered and put my phone down, trying to fall asleep.

I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know how to act differently. I couldn't let people in. Maybe I should have.

"I'm sorry too." I texted him again, after laying in my bed for ten minutes. "I'm just fucked up. I understand your reasons for kicking us off, it's the right thing to do."

I was lying. I didn't think we should be kicked off, and I knew damn well I was gonna cry my way back to the team.

Or I might as well just hang myself before Papa does, when I go home as a failure.

"Yes. Why are you fucked up?"

"Isn't everybody?"

"Not as much as you."

"It's a long story. But just know, I don't mean to be a bitch to you. It's just what comes naturally."

He didn't answer for about three minutes and I thought our conversation was over, then he texted me again.

"You are a bitch, yes."

I laughed.

"Did Ms. Polinski make a move on you tonight?" I tried chatting about something different, not about me. Something fun.

"None of your business love..." Oh so now he wanted to be distant?

"Just jealous😛"

"Yes she did."

"Oooh."

"What'd she do?

"Go down?"

Again, no answer for several minutes, but I was too excited to fall asleep. I knew I shouldn't have reminded him of me going down on him, but I also didn't care.

Let him remember how good I was.

"Just wanted a chat. How are you?"

He was weird. Who texts like that? You don't send two different messages in one.

"That's what she asked?"

"No. I'm asking."

"I will be fine. Just gotta tell my father somehow."

"But it's not your fault🙃"

Yes, I already started making him feel guilty, you can never start too early.

"Heard some rumors about him. Will he take it okay?"

There it was. I'd known Owen for a while now, but we managed to skip the family stories so far. I didn't know anything about his and he didn't know about mine, or at least not from me. But as I already said, he must have heard things. And I was right.

"What did you hear?"

"Not much. But I know you're scared of him. I've met him, remember?"

Yeah, true, he always came to the end of the year ceremony, talking to my teachers about how proud he is of me.

He isn't, he just pretends to be.

"My parents beat me as a child. I understand your behavior. But it doesn't make it right."

Beat him? I didn't know that. Wow.

"Sorry to hear. Must have been rough."

I was sorry for him, I couldn't imagine having both parents be cruel to me.

"But he doesn't hurt me. Never has."

I lied.

I had been told several times not to leave trace of my abuse, or else there would be no trace of me.

And Papa wasn't just threatening. My mother didn't leave us, she was gone. Gone gone.

[bang-to-the-tan]

i. im a little drunks. I apologize. here’s that yoongi fanfic holding hands that you wanted but Im too coward to give you! inspirted a lot by @honeymoonjin​-- “hello sora is drunk and she is writing” will foreve rhaunt me. Just a thing for fun im gonna go sleep now

I have the hiccups so badly i think i might die from it 

Anway

So one day you get the call from Seoul that you have to go to South Korea. Delight and amazement flourish in your chest as yo ubook your tickets and go to fly to South Korea for reasons that are probably super businesslike and important. They are. 

You enter the stage. The fans are screaming and yelling the names of the 7 gods on the stage in front of you as the lights go wild, casting colors over everybody’s faces and making the whole thing seem like scene from a dream. You wait patiently for them to finish their set, the whole time watching intently as they dance, sing and flirt with the crowd, every second spent with them like a lifetime in their arms. 

Finally, one by one, they start coming backstage, coming to (fuck my hifcups) to talk to you and talk about how well they did their set. 

“You came all the way from America?” Namjoon sounds surprised, deep dimples carving themselves into his cheeks when he smiles. “Just to see us?”

“Yeah,” you reply. “And I came because I think that one of you is my soulmate,” you add, fucking hiccuping like youre’ gonna die from it fucking why now why dies god hate me. The group is amazed and in awe of your near perfect Korean because you’ve been pracitcing and studying the language for so long. 

“Who do you think it is?” asks Jimin, who smiles in a way both flirtatious and shy. 

You dont’ answer, but your gaze is drawn by the man standing by he back of the pack, behind some fo the other members. His eyes briefly meet yours before flitting to the side and a thrill of recognition beyond anything you’ve ever experienced dashes through you. Maybe he knows, too. 

“I’m not sure,” you lie. Even though you’re standing here in front of them , you’re almost positive you know who it is. “My agency said I should find out for sure before I do anything drastic.” 

“That makes sense,” answers Jungkook, noddin.g He licks his lips, and his smile is fucking hiccups im gonna kmsi bright and shiny when he levels it your way. “ We don’t want you dong anything too drastic.” 

You nod, but your mind is already elsewhere. There has to be something else that you’re missing. It doesn’t make any sense. 

The crowd disperses. In the middle of the walkway stands Min Yoongi, his eyes dark and fixated on you. 

“You’re looking for your soulmate,” he says, his deep voice really deep and not having any hiccups in it whatsoever the perfect bastard son of a bitch. “How do you know that’s what you’re looking for?’ 

“Because,” you reply, your heart beating quickly in your throat. “Because I fet the change in me days ago. The ache in my heart, the coldness of my palms. It feels like the absence of someone important, and it only abates when I’m watching BTS videos.” 

He snorts. “I feel okay when I watch cat videos, does that mean a cat is my soulmate?” 

“It could mean,” you protest. “You don’t know anything for sure until you gtyr it.” 

Yongi hiccups please i’m dying,,my neighbors are hating me im sure of it

He goes silent for a moment. “Do you want to try it?” he asks slowly, unsure.

“Try what?”

“Try holding hands. Just for a little while. To see if it sticks, to see if it’s true.”

You hesitate, thinking of all the times you’ve thought about this exact moment. This second where you can finally hold his hand. Is it right? For you to just hold his hand like that? Like he belongs to you? You aren’t sure. But what else are you going to do? 

He extends his palm towards you. 

You reach out towards him. 

You claps his long fingers in yours, feeling the warmth of his palm, the solidness of his skin against you. For a moment, the world rushes about you, filing your lungs with perfection and letting you know that everything is in place. Even the lights dim, as if out of politeness for this moment of perfection. You feel a shiver crawl up your arm, nesting in the back of your neck and you have to shudder. 

A beat passes. 

“Did you feel anything?” Yoongi says quietly. 

Suddenly cowed, you respond quickly, too quickie. “No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Athough you can sense that he’s giving you another chance, and you can feel how hardily you’re failing his expectations, you answer again, more firmly. “I don’t feel anything.” you lie. 

“Oh.” he sounds disappointed. 

Disappointment crawls up your neck and you have to frown now, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“But,” you add, “But we can still hold hands for as long as you...I mean, if you want.” 

Though he smothers it quickly, he lights up with a crooked smile that shows off his gums just as much as his teeth. 

“If I want, huh?” he presses.

“Yeah.”

“Then I do want, I guess,” he says, shrugging.

Similarly, you hide your own warm th and excitement at the thought of continuing to hold his hand. “Yeah, me too,” you say.  

“But I was hoping to get some coffee after the show,” he says, pointedly, abesentmindedly shaking your joined hands back and forth. (i’m still fuckig hiccuping call the er) “And i don’t know if you can manage that.” 

“I can manage anything you can manage,” you retort, haughty. His grin grows, squishing his eyes into sweet little crescents.

“Oh?” he says teasing.

“Definitely,” you reply. 

“Then prove it,” he challenges after a beat. “Spent 24 hours with me, attached at the hand, and if you can prove that you’re my soulmate, I won’t press charges.”

“And If it doesn’t work?” you ask after a moment.

“I’m getting the best lawyers money can buy and Im’ going to sue you for getting in my way,” he says easily. Even though you adore him, you can sense the amount of disdain oozing from between his lips. 

“You’re on!’ you declare. “We’ll see whose soulmate is whose.”

You dont have money. A lawsuit will ruin you. But god would it be wrth it hough. Holy shit my hiccups are gon.e

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

GEARBOX THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED THAAAAHAHAHAANK YOUUUUU

FUCK OKAY TRAILER BREAKDOWN BECAUSE I AM LOOOOOOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS TRAILER HOOOOOLY SHIT

POSSIBLE PSOILERS??? MAYBE? GOD DDDDDAYMN WHAT A WAY TO GET BACK INTO THE THEORY SCENE LMAO

SO FIRST OF ALL I’M NOT CERTAIN THIS IS RELATED TO THE BARMAN/SECOND STARS CULT QUEST I FOUND IN THE FILES AS SOME PEOPLE SUGGESTED, BUT I WILL ADMIT IT IS SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC. MAINLY ABOUT A CULT AND THE FACT WE SEE A BAR HANGING OUT IN THE TRAILER, BUT HEY, I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS RIGHT NOW I AM JUST GOING TO ENJOY THIS WHILE I CAN

ANd breathe in

breathe okay

okay

im okay.

i’ve watched this trailer like 15 times already oh my god it’s so good. i wasnt so hyped about the casino dlc bc, like, i already spoiled myself on it BUT THIS IS (AS FAR AS WE KNOW) UNCHARTED TERRITORY AND

IT’S TECHNICALLY A WATER PLANET

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

okay

okay

i will stop using caps

for the most part

hhhhhhh

okay.

let’s just be calm. i got this

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THOUGH????

oh ym goD

the fucking lighthouse sent me. i just. i went feral for a solid hour and a half. just wheezing on my test. i fell onto the floor at one point, don’t remember when. it was so fucking good, i couldn’t feel my goddamn hands

;-; its so beautiful i could stare at this all day hhhhhhh

i just

hhhhhhhhhhhh

oh ym godddd ;-;-;-;-;-;-;

it’s so fucking beautiful

i can’t

okay

we see the gun/health station under the lighthouse so it’s not really THAT big, and we can see a town in the distance. running across the ice sheets is giving me HUGE southern shelf vibes which i am in love with. this whole aesthetic is just ;w; so good

there’s a catch a ride in that town as well so we know this area is fairly big (which is confirmed in a later shot)

and oh my GOD can you imagine seeing some big ol beast lurking beneath the surface of the ice sheets hohhhh

MAN

okay sorry im still not oevr this its just so fckign good

inside the belly of the beast rotting Monster and OHHHHHHHHHHH THE IMPLICATION-s of that. of that. im calm.

we get a look at 2 new enemies and mmmmmm we get a better look at them later on so just look how fuckig beautiful thsi area is with its acid that’s probably rotting stomach acid and AAAAAAAA

first close up of the town, giving me really big uhhhh we happy few vibes? which im not complaining about

TENTACLES asdfghj

anywway more toen, bridge looks like like athenas which is DOPE im hype for more athenas-esque architecture

the TOWNss oh my god im so im love with this aesthetic god. damn.it i need this injected directly into my veins like right N O W

also the bridge is going over another pool of acid, which the tentacle is coming out of. i imagine this monster was sorta acid based, which is funny. since. frozen water planet. and it’s OOZY too. oozy boy means the eridians didn’t make this one! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hm who’s ready to face the unintended consequences of our actions?! NOT THE ERIDIANS WHOOO BOY (you cannot tlel me that there are mantakores on this planet and not say there was eridian fuckering going on nooOOPE)

also, side note, DIGGING the spike pit under the house on the bottom right. hope we get to explore that bad boy

ALSO

who are you mysterious figure whose cape billows in the wind? are you just part of the environment?? MAYBE

more town

first look at that BEAUITUFL red barrier which OOOOH I WANNA TOUCH SO BADLY

look at it

LOOK AT IT

NOODLE BOWL

EATS??? food place?? im not sure i can’t read, Jared, 19

see s-ar(?)ed??

THAT

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL

doesn’t look like a corporation shield (no corporation gunk lying around either) and we do know red glowy shit is the New Eridian Aesthetic, so im just saying.

it could be a corporation tho, mostly because uhhh later shots

hold up

that’s not uhhhhhhhhhhh

yeah it CAN’T BE lol

cursetown - something something

these red thingies are probably just rotting monster flesh but it does look very similar to the vines on nekrotefeyo

given how worried wainwright looks i imagine him and hammylocks are being coerced into the whole marriage thing in order to complete a ritual

i mean no judgement but that red background is absolutely garrish for a wedding

1. pirate ship??? please??? look at all the mist outside and the wooden bars

god PLEASE can i get a pirate ship.  CNA I PLEASE GET A PIRATE SHIP

Captain scarlett wsan’t enoughhhh

2. why the fuck does she have a tail

3.

DJ Midnight performing Saturday: The Dark Mix Deep W???? Hear The Voices (hmmm) and Let The Music Enter You

gee i wonder if this is cultist propaganda

I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE

BUT YOUR TIMING

SUCKS

IIIII AM HERMEAUS MORAAA

no wait wrong game

BUT BRO TENTACLES COMING OUT OF THE MAGIC PORTALS???? UFCKF UEYS THIS FITS PERFECTLY INTO H2O A- i mean, damn haven’t we got enough tentacles from the destroyer?? wow gearbox... heh. hm.

SO I AM WONDERING IF MAYBE THE GREEN UNDER THE BRIDGE AND SUCH ISN’T LIKE CORROSIVE ACID BUT MAYHAPS SOME SORT OF MAGIC SLUDGE COMING OFF THE BIG OL MONSTER BOY THAT THESE CULTISTS ARE HARNESSING TO TAP INTO something. i lost steam. but i mean MAGIC PORTALS

and we all know where teleportation takes us

MANTAKORES!!! WHICH MEANS ERIDIAN INTERVENTION SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE

they seem like fire/ice boys which i absolutely adore

THIS SHOT IS SO COOL OH MY GOD

LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN IT JUST LOOKS D O P E

WHAT IS THIS??

WHAT IS THIIIS??

CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR JACKET

OH ALSO

I MENTIONED IT IN ANOTHER POST BUT THIS

REMINDS ME A LOT OF THIS

IM SURE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO CORRELATION BUT I THOUGHTIT WAS FUNNY

ALSO REMEMBER THE BLACK EYES THING I HAVE A WHOLE THINGIE THING IMMA BRING BACK OT IT JUST HOLD TIGHT

THIS SHOT?? OH MY GOD? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE????????? I LOV EI LOVE IT LIV E OT

nND THE WOLFIE BOYS THATTHE ARTICLE MENTIONS

UCKING TENTACLES HFDGDHFGJKH THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL OH MY GOD

HE’ SGOT TENTACLE ARMS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CHADAM

BRO IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AND A GUN THIS MOTHERFUCKER STILL HAS A GUN

WHAT A MAN

MORE TECHONOLOG Y THAT IM SURE PLAYS A ROLE IN THIS SOMEHOW

BEAUTIFUL

WE SLAM THIS DUDE UP AGAINST A WALL SO HARD SHE/HE/THEY (I ASSUME SHE BC WE CAN’T SEE HER FACE AS A COMMON TROPE) 

BREAKS THE WINDOW WHICH LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A WINDOW ON SANC-III BUT IM NOT MAKING ANY ASSUMPTIONS

also red SPARKS WHICH REMIND ME OF ERIDIANS AGAIN

also her whole helmet thingie??? very Guardian-like

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS GIVING ME HUGE HECTOR/KEY/PLANT/ERIDIANBULLSHITTERY VIBES THEY EVEN HAVE THE GLOWING SACS OF OOOOOOOZE

which is another point to the “green sludge is magic/connected to their powers somehow” theory. hmmm i hope we mix neon green and eridium purple. purple/green is my favorite color combo. and ugh with the lovecraftian vibes? be still my beating heart!

WINNIE SHOOTING SOMOHE

i fucking LOVE the laces on this shotgun. so fucking pretty omfg

magic circle MAGIC CIRCLE MAGIC CIRCLE

also new chest it looks like

BROO??? HOLY SHIT?????????

JABBER WOLF!! SO FUCKING COOL

THAT SKULL MOUTH IS SO FUCKING DOPE IT LOOKS LIKE TROY’S TATTOO

ohhhhhhHHHHHH THE MOON IS GREEN TOO DON’T DO THI GEARBOX IM GONNA SCREAM IF THERE’S ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE ERIDIUM

THIS SHOT OHHHH

THE BAR LOOKS FUCKING FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

shots SHOT SHOTS SHOT SHOTS HTOSHSTOHSOHTS

dND the MERFOLK TAIL ON THE FAR RIGHT I DON’T GIVE A FUUUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS THAT’S MER TAIL THAT’S A TAIL FUCK U

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YSEY SEYSEYSE BIGGG

THE BARTENDER OHOH

HAVE I MENTIONED THE GIANT FUCKING MUSHROOMS BTW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM GETTTING SUCH DRAGONBORN DLC VIBES I LOVE IT

SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BTW THAT’S IMPORTANT

YOU ALLL LOOK SO FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

the bartender!!!! his glasses!! AND THE VOICE MODULATOR???

the netch looking boys are called

slithercresses btw and THEY LOOK STUNNING

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEW RED CHESTS??? LOOK ERIDIAN TO ME

WHICH MIGHT MEAN------

ALSO THE DIMENSIONAL TRANSFER PROGRAM ON SANC-III WHERE BBY BOY MAUREICE MAKES US A PORTAL TO HELL??? WHICH GREEN OOZE WHICH IS “HECKTOPLASM” BUT MAYBE ACTUALLY N O T

THE STAR OF THE SHOW BABY GIRL GAIGE WHO’SACTUALLY OLDER THAN ME NOW FUUUUUUUUCK

YOU’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL II LOVE YOUR NEW GOGGLES

H??????????????

POSSIBLE NEW PSYCHOMASK UNLESS HE’S JUST GROWING THOSE BONE HORNS IN WHICH CASE YOU GO MAN IM PROUD OF YOU

TENTACLE GUNNNNNN WHICH BETTER LPAY A PART ERIRDIANS YOU FUCKS

THIS PLACE IS WHY I THINK THIS MIGHT BE RELATED TO S O M E CORPORAITON? BUT THEN AGAIN IT MAY JSUT BE THE CULT HEADQUARTERS OR WHATEVER, THAT RED BUBBLED MANSION LOOKS P HQ

FOOD CARTS AND ALSO WHATEVERS IN THAT SWINGING BAG LOOKS LIKE BONES HELL YEAH

this this THIS THIS THIS THIS WHAT IS THIS A NEW CIRCL  E OF SLAUGHTEr? ERIDIAN???

THEYRE PUMPING SOMETHING INTO/OUT OF THE CORPSE!!!!!!! ALSO

mutaTED FEET

[something] world! with a skull symbol on the side

both green btw

god YES I LOVE GREEN AND PURPLE IM SO HAPPY

SAILOF HOLE

hammylocks helping us with a fight by some bones and more wolfie boys!!!! i love these little dudes

FIRE MUTATED SLUGS AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO COOL

ns tHEY CUR L UP INTO BALLS AND ROLL AT YOU LIKE KRAGGONS

AND I WONDER HOW THE SLUGS MUTATED IS IT POSSIBLY THE G R E E EN?

AND THEIR SHELLS LIKE SUCC UP LAVA?????????????

THESE BRAIN-Y BOYS 

SO BLUE I LOVE THEM

AND MORE GREEN MIST BY THE WAY OWOWOWOWOWO

another look at a baddie with STUDS THIS TIME

A MAGIC WARLOCK TYPE BADDIE THIS TIME AND HE SUMMONS A STAFF AND ALSO I THINK THAT’S ERIDIUM CANNISTER BEHIND HIM

AND IT HAS SIMMILAR TENTACLESTO THE GUNS DO YOU THINK WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO GET ANA NSWER ASA TO WHY OUR GUNS ARE A L I V E

MORE SNAIL DUDES AND THE GREEN STUFF IN THE BACKGROUND M A N I LOVE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNAILS

OOOOOZE

BACK AT IT AGAIN IN MY CYCLONES

GREEN FUCKING PUDDLES

B O N E S FUCKING I HOPE THIS EXPLAINS HOW THE SKAGS ON PANDORA GOT SO FUCKIN LARGGO OUTSIDE OF JUST ‘YEAH THE SEASONS’

MORE

this

THIS

ONE

THIS LOOKS LIKE A SAURIAN THE ARMORED ONES THE BASHY ARMORED ONES THAT START WITH ‘C’

TWO THAT GUN IS KICKASS

IT’S GLOWING G R E E N AND IT HAS ***THE TENTACLE BARREL***

OHHHH IM SO READY FOR AN EXPLANATION GEARBO X PL E ASE

GIVE IT TO ME

ALSO THIS

IM EXCITED ABOUT

PROBABLY RELATED TO SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BC THE MUSHROOMS MAYBE THEY USE IT TO MAKE BOOZE MUSHROOM BOOZE EW

WHY IS HE GRAY?????? HE’S NOT WEARING A JACKET MAYBE HES CRYO-FLAVORED

more sluggus THESE ARE GREEN FLAVORED :O

also, side note

PLEASE TLEL ME THIS WAS INTENTIONAL GEARBOX

LEMME SLAP BLANE’S ASS

YOU *GUYS* PLEASE

BUBBLE MANSION??? GREEN OOZY VILLAIN THAT GOT SLMAMED INTO A WALL??? BABY BABY GIRL

THE R E D

and she’s USING A TENTACLE GUN TOO

THAT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT

hhhhhhHHHHH

also ther’e sa fridge on the left lol

also the consoles look similar to that one shot with zane which is why i believe this is part of that bubbled-y mansion.

YES ES YES YES YES YESY SYEYSE 

I WANNA RIDE THE SKY TRAM SO BAD PLEASE

I WANNA REENACT UNTIL DAWN

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEEEEEEED

ALSO NOTE THE EYES

AND THE PURPLE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE AN ERIDIUM PURPLE

ANYWAY I HA[VE TO GO EAT FOOD NOW BUT GO LOOK AT THIS LINKN

I LOOKED UP THE NAME OF THE PLANET AND MYTHOLOGY AND NOTHING CAME UP, BUT GOOGLE RECOMMENDED ME 

T H I S

https://pantheon.org/articles/l/lycurgus.html

AND MAN OH MAN

“FAMOUS FOR HIS PERSECUTION OF DIONYSUS” THE GOD OF P A R T I E S LIKE IDK A WEDDING PARTY, WHICH FORCED YA MAIN MAN DIONYSUS TO <JUMP INTO THE OCEAN> WHICH COULD HAVE SOME RELATION TO THE TENTACLES

OH AND ALSO LYCURGUS WAS THEN <<<BLINDED>>>  WHICH COULD PLAY A PART IN THE BLACK OOZY EYES EVERYONE HAS

DIONYSUS ALSO ENDS UP PUNISHING LYCURGUS WITH MADASS AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT RELATES

OKAY BYE 

[lordmongoose]

borderlands 3

it’s okay

issues, though

----------

#1 - Dynamic Level Scaling

it doesn’t fucking work sometimes.

you’ll just be plotting along, level 33, and oh boy a new area-

why are the enemies in the new area level 26

why-

why are they 7 levels lower than me. this is the next area in the story, why the hell are the enemies so much weaker.

enemies are weaker, loot is worthless, game dropped a fucking legendary in that area and no other areas so far it’s fuckig bulslhtit

‘s happened like 4 times now. hasn’t affected any bosses, but still.

It also affected one of the quest rewards I got. Went to fight the final boss, talked to Hammerlock, he pulls out a Jakobs pistol, hands it to me, level 32. fuckin what.

Like, I’m level 37, the shops are selling level 37 items, the slots drop level 37 items, and this fucker hands me a level 32 pistol?

how the hell do you fuck this up

how do you not just get the player’s level when determining what levels things should be

----------

#2 - Map Markers

you’ll check the map out, see that an area has a quest available, go to the area, and suddenly the ! marker is just gone.

also, there have been several times where the game just straight-up doesn’t show me where the quest destination marker is. ‘s just gone.

‘s bad.

----------

#3 - Boss Balance

some bosses are literally not a threat at all, yet have 3.4 quintillion HP.

also, there’s this electric guy in a sidequest early in the game, and he’s just fuckin bullshit. I only managed to beat him because he randomly only used his bullshit the-entire-floor-is-electricity-for-longer-than-you-can-survive-in attack once. took like 4 tries.

point is, bosses aren’t designed super well. some are okay, some are pushovers with too much HP, some make you wish for the sweet embrace of death.

It’s one thing for raid bosses to be super difficult, but the inconsistency during regular casual gameplay is really weird.

----------

#4 - Badass Fanatics or whatever

god they’re so bullshit

The rocket launchers you get are basically trash. Kind of an issue there, really, but the rockets that the badasses get?

Pinpoint accuracy instant death.

You remember in Fallout 4 how there’s occasionally a raider with a Fat Man that just keeps deleting you no matter what you do?

It’s sorta like that. Admittedly not as bad, but still pretty bad.

----------

#5 - COV weapons

why do they fucking exist

“oh sweet, purple assault ri- it’s a COV gun.“

god

Remember how BL2 had some weapon manufacturers with gimmicks that were so shit you just never used any of their guns?

yeah, they mostly fixed that, but COV guns are just fucking trash. They fucking break after using them for too long. Why would you ever use that literally ever oh my god who thought of th-

So, I just looked it up. They don’t break. When they “break,” it just plays an animation of your character fixing it and you can keep using it.

Point is, bad description. I should really delete this bit.

----------

#6 - You have to follow Randy Pitchford on Twitter if you want to get tweets about Shift Codes

man i don’t wanna do that

----------

#7 - Falling Through the Floor

it happened after one of the big bosses

Game doesn’t have any way to compensate for the issue, though. Most games will just teleport you to a predetermined safe location if you fall too far, but BL3 ain’t got that. You just keep falling forever. Gotta quit and re-enter the game.

Thankfully, the game has a loot-preservation-thing that keeps a finite number of missed items (blue or higher) when you go back to Sanctuary. Still dumb, though.

[shoezuki]

Also fuck Touichirou motherfucker asshat. God. The point where he reminisces on his wife leaving him is Supposed to make us feel sympathetc probably but it makes me hate him more. This rat bitch was all 'oh my wife..... the only person i cared about...... ooooohhh i miss her....' dickwad WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON? YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A FUCKING CHILD RIGHT. Touichirou can neglect and belittle and beat the shit out of shou and hes all 'this is fine' then he thinks about his wife ONCE and hes suddenly remorseful???? Poor fucking shou like hes just cast aside. His dad does all this shit to him and he feels Nothing about it. Touichirou doesnt fucking care about him he only cares bout his wife ffs. Joseph from the government Pull The Trigger

Oh and i can throw down w shous mom too. She left touichirou, AND her son? She left shou with a maniac that was planning to take over the world?????? What fuckig mom does that jesus christ.

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: yugioh! ep115-121

ep115

what's crazy is that panic's dueling arena literall turned into a fir tornado and we were supposed to think that that's normal

let's not forget that, in the manga, yami's role was actually to show people the consequences of their actions, which is why panik gets "obliviated" by yami

i actually should read the manga but the story is so different that i probably won't

ep116

oh yes company machinations!

pegasus wants kaiba's company!

kaiba reminds me of enzan from megaman (enzan <3)

oh why oh why could bakura's millennium ring be pointing towards pegasus' castle? is it because maybe, just maybe, pegasus has a millennium item?

oh they figured that out good

why did yugi have kaib'a deck?

"why don't you go look for an opponent you can actually beat? like an infant, or a monkey?"

like i was saying before the TECHNOLOGY involved in creating this holographic shit is actually amazing

so in the kaiba/joey ship, just how many fics are there where there's puppy play because i remember that being a constant thing, and this episode was the start of it

"if you ask nice, i'll finish you fast"

al i want to know is, in japanese, does kaiba go hard with the whole dog analogy or is that an artistic choice on the dub's part

ep117

is.. is that supposed to be an australian accent

ugh heavy cringe

"mullet-head" to pegasus, who has longer than shoulder length hair okay

so.. to put my fan experience to use, joey definitely has a puppy kink and he wants kaiba to be his master hahahaha

ep118

joey was told that an axe attack wouldn't kill the zombies and yet here he goes using a fucking axe attack to kill a zoblie clown

stupid

tristan's gonna fucking try to -

he said he would try to puncha boulder and it turned out to be a balloon witha speaker haha

yo joey definitely doesn't read the card descriptions

"why jsut defeat him when you can humiliate him?"

well, bandit keith, that's literally the problem

you could defeat immediately instead giving the opponent time to formulate a new strategy

"you can't possibly [stop me from playing in defense] with one card"

"oh yeah? my trap card, "stop defense" "oh no"

ep119

mokuba's fuckig voice ohmygod

oh ehll yeah the doubles duel!

eager for the days when we stop the transformation scene and yugi just becomes yami

"alright youse brothers paradox. me and yugi are gonna clean your clocks"

you know what would be fun? seeing yugi and bakura duel together

why didn't kaiba just land closer to the castle

i, too, wish i could be drinking wine

ah the classic one's a liar one's a truther riddle

this chibi style is cute

also can't wait for when we call polymerization just "fusion"

but hoenstly fusing shadow ghoul with the labyrinth wall is smart as shit

ep120

why did they use a springboard sound for kaiba's solar plexus attack

DARK MAGICIAN

why should anyone tell anyone what cards are being laid face down

this is reminding me how much i didn't like mokuba as a character ebcause i thought - and currently think - he's fucking useless

ah the gate guardian, which is really just a little preview of all the differnt types of god cards in this series

"you'll never get past the gate guardian!"

hm, yeah, sure, okay

"you can beg later - when you're punished"

ep121

oh shit there are 49 episodes in this season

our previously unbeatable gate guardian who got partially defeated is still unbeatable even though 1/3 of our unbeatable gate guardian got destroyed

yeah remember when monster reborn could be used for your enemies' cards and not just your own

OKAY SO THE CARDS DO HAVE DESCRIPTIONS SO JOEY REALLY JUST DOESN'T FUCKING READ THEM

WOW A CARD WITH 4000 ATK POINTS REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS CRAZY AS SHIT

dark magician really hopped off suigen right quick

yeah we forgot about the door puzzle

kaiba's a ninja haha

kaiba boy

it's just a little magic trick. i just trapped his soul in a card

"you must first EARN the privelege to challenge me

[blookmallow]

EEEYYYY I FINISHED PAPER MARIO finally. heres one last long post i am sorry

---

i feel like there was supposed to be a tile here that... didn’t happen,

Bowser Is A Goth

uh

,,,,,,right ok (it was a duplighost lmao) 

OK HOLD UP WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU NOW

he sleeps on.....oblivious to the death of his best friend two inches away 

ur right actually i absolutely did not expect to see u here and in fact Completely forgot about u 

oh mY FUCKIG N GOD

bowser gate’s just

WE DID IT KIDS

where did all the guards go 

there is One red book on the green shelf and it’s Bothering Me 

i cant find any way to interact with it and i cant remember if there was some peach cutscene it was involved in before or something 

I FINALLY GOT THE LIFE SHROOM THATS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR THE ENTIRE GAME :’ ) 

omfg

HERE WE GO

bowser apparently sleeps with his eyes open

they designed unique dizzy/sleeping/etc sprites for every single enemy in the game but not bowser 

my fav thing is how often bowser says things like gosh!!! heck!!!! dang!!!!

Let Bowser Say Fuck 

also i thought this seemed. surprisingly easy but

him big 

all i can think of is that one “kiRBY’S FUCKING PISSED” meme

lil bit of a plot hole here in that......if. the stars grant wishes they deem “good”/important/etc i. cant think of any more Worthy Wish than just like “i wish bowser would Cut This Shit Out” or something im not sure why it took this long for them to think of “wait we should wish to weaken him” or why it didn’t just stop him in the first place but maybe stars have limitations or something

i do like that peach gets to be involved in her own rescue though 

ffooOOOOM

THIS TOOK A RLY LONG TIME AND ALL OF MY LIFE SHROOMS EXCEPT LIKE 1 :’) BUT I DID IT

get wrecked 

plop

bowser is so cute what the fuck 

oh

again.........#aesthetic 

just, y’know. not here, apparently

are the sprites supposed to be blacked out this often 

this goomba deserves everything, 

we’re being remarkably casual about the fact that kolorado’s marriage is absolutely falling apart at the seams 

U GO DO UR IMPORTANT THING.......i want 2 kno what is the important thing...

LET HIM HAVE THE TOP BUNK, MARIO

[sobbing] the mario brothers love and support each other so much,

i dont know why Quiz Worm got invited but i rly like this toad 

this sounds astonishingly sarcastic are you ok 

right,

B( fine 

which one of you ate my save block 

im rly glad these boos were invited but i also rly want to know who’s getting married. is it the boos?? i dont know, but a boo wedding is where I’D wanna be 

O H NO!!!!!!!!!

luigi’s the parade leader..................lookit him and his lil uniform........im goin g to CRY

this is also Really Good 

why do these nerds get to be in my parade they tried to kill me twice 

wa iT DO BOBOMBS HAVE HANDS

what in the Heck is going on over there 

something definitely didnt load right 

w h y did they invite bowser to be in the parade celebrating his own defeat im laugh in g 

i mean. i fully endorse bowser being invited to every castle event. be nice to him. but. seems a lil bit. insult-to-injury

THIS IS SO FUN AND CUTE !!!!!!!! ITS A LIL TOAD LIGHT PARADE!!!! 

like honestly this is one of the most fun “YOU DID IT!! YOU BEAT THE GAME!” ending celebration sequences i have ever seen 

ok none of the screenshots i tried to get turned out but this was INCREDIBLY glitched up on my screen :’) apparently it either doesn’t show in screenshots somehow or i managed to get the like. 3 split seconds where it wasn’t glitched

also im pretty sure the house didn’t say “marios” before it was just “mario” but w/e

FIREWORKS

yaaaayyyyyy

apparently the fireworks screen just continues on into infinity and there’s. no postgame stuff though :’) which is. a lil disappointing. i mean id done one final “check everywhere to see if u missed anything/say hi to all the npcs one more time/make sure you’ve accomplished everything you wanna do before the ending” run so there wasnt anything left that i desperately wanted to do, but

all the coins i ended up with at the end wound up never getting used :’| and i was hoping for “well the game is over now but you can still heck around/do little koopa koot quests/etc” like thousand year door lets you do, but. ah well

A+ tho i was really struggling in the beginning but overall this was rly fun 

[the-little-red-noodle]

7/3/19 11:39pm the aftermath

Spencer and i broke up today.

I am so exhausted. My eyes hurt from crying. My chest hurts from breathing and thinking and seeing him. I feel hollow but also so fucking heavy i can’t move. I feel hurt, i feel frustrated, i feel confused and i feel so fucking angry that this is happening one of the weekends i was looking forward to the most this summer. I am really really frustrated and really sad.

I had been in costa rica for like 10 days. I was so excited to see him. I just landed at the airportand he texted that he was on his way to my house and i was excited that i would have most of the day and the night to be with him. I would get to talk about the trip and be excited and kiss him and talk about the larp.

Fuck i just wish he could express anything ever. Fuck.

Where was i? I got home, i was trying on larp stuff and being excited and he got there and he seemed normal and we went to my room and i changed back into normal clothes and he sat on the other end of my bed and i was motioning for him to sit with me and he moved to still sit across from me and i was like what’s up?

And he just sat there holding my hands and stuttering and trying to speak and stopping and then i said,

Are you trying to break up with me?

And he said yes, I’m sorry. And i just felt like confused and like aw he’s having trouble speaking but also what are you doing?

And then i was like why? Why are you doing this right now, we have such a fun weekend planned and we have a party tomorrow and a larp and all this to celebrate together, why are you doing this now? You couldn’t have waited until after our fun weekend, until after my fun weekend? Until after i could do the stuff i had been so excited about and planning and planning with you? You couldn’t have waited??

Theres never a good time..

There fuckin is, it’s called ANY of the times i brought it up to you that thigs weren’t working. ANY of the times i said we weren’t communication well. ANY of the times i said i wasn’t happy or that we’re so different or that we just love differently. THATS when you mention the fact that you feel that way too. You fucking. Tell. Me. You fucking say hey I’ve been feeling that way too, we are super different, our communication doesn’t work well together, idk if I’ve been super happy. You fucking say something then. You don’t calm me down over and over saying that we’ll work it out we’ll work it out and then drop this on me literally an hour after i get home from a trip and before this really fun weekend that i would have liked to enjoy. I really was looking forward to this stuff and now you fucking ruined it. I’m not the kind of person who deals with shit by going out partying and pretending everything is fine. I fucking know it’s not fine and i see peoples faces looking at me with the “how ya doin?” face and the pity and the “oh wheres spencer?”

Dude, fuck you.

It’s not like i didn’t also think the relationship wasn’t working. I went back and forth so many times on whether or not to end it or stick it out, but i wouldn’t have fucking dropped it on you right before you had a bunch of important shit to do

Fuck you

Of course i knew it wasn’t working, we been knew. It hasn’t been working since the start frankly, we don’t communicate cohesively. I actually have emotions? And talk about them? And want to hear how you feel about stuff? What a fucking concept???

Fuckkkk youuu

I actually cared enough to go out of my way all the damn time to do what you needed, and show you how i felt, and love you the way you receive it best. Where was my gesture? Where was forthought into doing something for me? Where were any words that actually came from your heart and not phrases that i said were special to me?

Dude, fuck you man.

I’m angry. I’m really really frustrated because we talked so many times about when i was having doubts and when i was feeling like we needed help and we needed to fix shit and where i asked you over and over AND OVER!! HOW YOU FELT! That’s when you fuckig say something! You fucking tell me hey I’ve been having some doubtsabout the relationship and I’m not sure if I’m happy, and then we would have talked, seen that we felt the same way, and ended things respectfully together. But instead, you kept that shit in for months so you could blindside me before i have shit to do

FUCK. YOU.

How do you expect relationships to go? We small talk, fuck, eat, and sleep? And give each other space but don’t ever text or talk while we’re apart? What kind of relationship is that?

Beat change

What kind of relationship was i settling for? With someone who, not wouldn’t, but couldn’t share their feelings. Someone who was incable of really anything involving emotional intelligence. Someone who RARELY asked me how i was doing or what i was thinking about or how i was feeling. Never asked about my past, never knew HUGE pieces of who i am because he never bothered to dig around? He never knew about my depression, or the self harm, or the eating disorder, just a few. So many parts of what ultimately made me me and he just never asked. I asked about him CONSTANTLY and i could never get much.

What kind of relationship was i settling for? Where i have to do so much fucking legwork to get the affection i need and so much effort to train him how to respond to a text in less than an hour. What was i settling for? Because he was the one? Hell no, we been knew this was casual from the start

OH THAT TOO! BITCH THIS WHOLE OPERATION WAS YOUR IDEA!!!!

We weren’t even dating! We weren’t a couple! We were hooking up and then YOU decided you liked me more and YOU decided you wanted to be exclusive and YOU wanted me to be your girlfriend and YOU initiated all those conversations that got us here. And then YOU have the audacity (I’m being dramatic) to step out after you decide theres no fixing us when you didn’t even give it a fair shot. When i brought up how to make us better and how i asked how you felt about every little thing just to gain an inch of insight into what the fuck was ever on your mind.

What kind of relationship was i settling for? Where i had to stretch to get reassurance. Where i had to stretch to get validation. Where no compliment came free or unprovoked. Basically everything you ever told me was because i fucking prompted you to speak. If i hadn’t, we wouldn’t. If i didn’t start a conversation, there was no conversation.

God i am so fucking angry about it. Yes I’m sad and we’ll get to that, but I’m really fucking angry. And i feel guilty because i want to shut down and not be social but i feel like people are fucking relying on me to show up to stuff and drive people to things and camp and do all this and i fuckiiiiinnnggg wanna just not.

But i can’t be a hermit because then i let everyone down. If i bail that means mark has no ride or tent and julia won’t go and shell be bummed and shea will be mad because I’ll miss another fucking larp and everything falls on me

But if i go, i know myself, and I’m gunna be a fucking wreck the whole time. I’m gunna be crying and not wanting to participate and I’m gunna have to watch all the couples be happy and be like “so wheres spencer? What happened? Are you okay?”

I hate are you okay.

Fuckin..???? Like..???? Naw?? I got dumped before a bunch of shit i was super excited for and now can’t be excited because I’m heartbroken and have to do all this shit without him after getting my hopes up that he would go and it would be so romantic and right up our alley and so fun.. and now it’s fucking ruined and everytime i think about the larp, i think about how many people are counting on me to go and how people will say they understand but are also super disappointed and secretly hate me for throwing a wrench in our plans

BUT ITS NOT MY FUCKING WRENCH

ITS HIS WRENCH BECAUSE HE COULDNT HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME HOW HE WAS FEELING MONTHS AGO OR, and i can’t stress this enough, FUCKING WAITED UNTIL AFTER.

I’m mad because he knew how important this weekend was to me, that i literally cut my family vacation short to spend time with him, and i can’t even get to enjoy it with my friends now cuz i swear theyre all gunna be looking at me and thinking ah shit is she ok, should we say something, is she drinking too much, is she eating too much, is she blinking too much, hey are you okay?

I’m frustrated too because i swear i went back and forth on breaking up with him so much and i can’t believe he’s the one who did it, and blindsided me, and ruined my fun weekend. I literally texted mark like a week before my trip in a frenzy like I NEED TO BREAKUP WITH SPENCER! And he talked me down. Yah, mark talked me down. Who always seemed to hate spencer and not like that we were dating, he fucking talked me out of ending it. MARK.

Dude, fuck you, right now. Fuck you for not being about to just talk to me. Fuck sake, it can’t seriously be that difficult to have an emotion formed into a single thought right? I do it constantly. How hard is it to say “i feel like we’re having problems” or “I’m struggling” or fucking anything. Nah, just keep it in and unleash it on the worst time possible. Sounds super.

Fuck you man.

Ima go to bathroom or something. I need to walk this off. Fuck I’m so angry

Also, fuck you for the corny friend line near the end

“I hope that someday-“ “i swear to god if you say that we can still be friends..” “well.. yeah, id like to”

Like, fuck me gently with a chainsaw, i don’t wanna be your friend, dude. We don’t really have a lot in common, it’s kinda part of why we’re breaking up, remember?

The couples who usually stay friends after a breakup are the ones who have a ton in common and lose attraction for each other, whereas spence and i have eh not a lot a lot in common, and i reaaallyy attracted to him. That pairing doesn’t bode for great friends. That sets us up to be like fuck buddies again. No, i don’t wanna be friends. At least not now. I basically said we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but honestly, fuck that noise, ok? That’s basically u saying that I’m not attractive and that youd be fine just hanging out in groups and hitting on my friends.

Pass.

I’m glad i asked about romy tho. I always thought he had a thing for her and maybe that was why he wanted to end things. Theyd make a good match i guess. Both of them are incapable of expressing any emotions and are crazy stoners.

Man i am not gunna miss the potheads. Omigod. I worry so fucking much about his health and I’ve told him many times. Youll notice, if you read the records back, not once has he expressed interest in my health. Never commented on drinking or working out or anything really. Never worried about my safety ever. Not even after i was sexually assaulted, which i know is a low blow, but honestly..??? Where was the concern? Where was the fuck that guy attitude? If someone had groped spencer, you better believe i would say some shit. I would fucking destroy them. I wouldve done anything to keep him safe, including getting sexually assaulted so that i could get his drunk ass home. Whos gunna carry you back to your dorm anymore? Whos gunna take care of you when you’re throwing up from alcohol poisoning? Won’t be ANY of the people in your inner circle, I’ll tell you that much. Your friends don’t give a shit about your health and it shows and it broke my heart everytime. I watched your friends ignore you vomiting.

I watched your friends ignore you vomiting.

And then offer you weed. Then you threw up again and they passed out. Ffucking what? call me overattentive, but thank god you had me those nights. When you passed out drunk behind a tent at BFtR or when you got too high at a wonderland party or when you drank too much at the alpha toga party and were throwing up in ralphs bags while your friends IGNORED YOU. whos gunna do that for you now? Are you gunna end up dead after a delta party one day because your friends don’t give a shit about you? I worried about this NONSTOP. Because i cared so much about you, and i still do. And i would worry every time youd leave the house and go to bars or whatever because i know that something like that is going to happen again, and I’m not gunna be there to pick up the pieces and give you a placw to sleep and make sure you drink water and take medicine and care about you. Tell me which one of your “friendsl is going to care about you the way i did. Cuz I’ve watched them all fail that test frankly and it breaks my heart.

But i guess.. that’s not my problem anymore. The days of getting you home safe after one too many is over. The nights of staying up till 5 am holding your hair up are over. The conversations I’ve tried to have about your health and hoping youd change those habits is over. Cuz it can’t be my problem anymore. Cuz i can’t watch you kill yourself anymore. I can’t watch you poison yourself everyday anymore. I can’t watch you hurt and hurt and shove it all down anymore. I can’t do it. I can’t watch you be high anymore. I can’t look at you with your eyes drooping anymore. I can’t worry about you taking weird drugs and acid and wondering if you’re okay anymore. Cuz I’m not your girlfriend anymore, and i can’t be your friend either. But i hope you get such a friend soon. I hope you find a better person to look after you a little. Cuz I’ve watched too many of your “friends” just inable you to do dumb dangerous shit. I can’t watch it anymore

I’m not gunna fight for us to stay together. I’m not gunna ask you to reconsider. I’m gunna (try to) not reach out. I don’t wanna talk. Theres nothing more to say. Anything else, all of this, is just me being angry. And needing to get out anger, but it doesn’t ever need to see him. He doesn’t need to hear how I’m feeling. He doesn’t need to see me suffer. He doesn’t need to hear that I’m angry or sad or doing well. He feels enough guilt as it is, and i don’t need to add to it.

But i can still be angry. And i can still be sad. And at some point, I’m gunna do okay. Because that’s how this shit goes. You go up and you go down and you have friends, real friends, there to catch you. And i hope you do too.

For now, it’s too hard. It’s too hard to look at my instagram with pictures of you. It’s too hard to see your face. It’s too hard to think about what to do about your mom and sister that follow me. It’s too hard to think about if i want to take the pictures down.. cuz what if you do..

I guess i should probably sleep.. but i just feel really fucking hollow. And really fucking heavy. And really fucking tired. But really fucking sad... like really fucking sad..

And i bet he’s feeling none of it. Cuz that’s what he does. He pushes everything away and never talks about how things affect him.

As we were talking, he said that this was the most he’s cried in the past years combined. And considering the last year he had, that is really fucking sad. In some ways it’s nice to know i had a big impact, but also like.. god.. he needs to be talking to someone. He needs a therapist. He needs help. He says he doesn’t, but he does. We dated for 10 months and he couldn’t talk about his dad. We never talked about my past. He really scimmed the surface of what a connection should be, and that’s really sad. And he ended it before he could make some real improvement because he was getting better.. really slowly but he was.

Idk what to do with myself. Idk how to feel or what to say or who to say it to. I want to sleep and i want to do yoga tomorrow. And i want to figure it out from there.

[ilygsd]

110918

the only reason i even like this ugly fkn cunt is because we’re so similar. or at least were, he’s grown a bit more than me so i obviously appreciate his help and experience and knowlege or whatever.

but fuck him in the fucking asshole, not only is he a white man, not only does he get triggered by ”i hate whites/men” and ”ppl listen to u cus ur a white man” and takes it SUPER PERSONALLY and accuse me of fucking attacking him and shit. hes acting like a fucking dick when we’re fighting and the thing is……. HE REFUSES to admit when i say we’re similar in the way we fight??? he’s like ”no, im not” and im like YES BITCH YOU ARE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD

he’s so fucking aggressive, manipulative, guilt tripping and just…. COLD. i swear what the fuck is wrong with him? i’ve met him 3 times, and we’ve fought 2 times. ive known him for like 2 weeks and we’ve already had 2 major fights??

the only reason im not fucking murdering him on the spot is because 1. im not a fucking idiot. i know my limits. i CANT control him, i CANT manipulate him. i dont have any power over him and 2. i fucking like him?? if i dont apologize he’s going to go on for fucking ever and eternity??? i like him and im actually genuinely sorry that he’s hurt even if he’s a fucking pussy who got triggered over smth as petty

like excuse ME!! the way he fights is REALLY triggering for me??? the first time i was terrified. it was like flashbacks and shit i cried for a whole day and i hadn’t even met him back then. i was SO SCARED and SO SHOCKED. because IT IS I who usually have his position. it is I who usually put people in their places, NOT the other way around. i HATE being scolded, feeling like a worthless little piece of shit

i knew that i should’ve blocked his ass because that can really be SO damaging to me. also there’s a risk im goong to explode as well and we’re just gonna trigger each other and fight to death…. but i didnt because i was too god damn curious of what he had to offer. is it really possible for me to be happy as well? is it really possible for me to heal and grow like him? ERHM well obviously he’s not in his ”complete form” yet, fucking psycho when he get angry, but he’s pretty happy and kind and positive generally

i worried so much about me draining him with my anxiety and issues but he said he wouldnt let me drain him. he said he always put himself first and the he basically would leave if i try to pull anything on him. why the fuck did i even worry about him when he’s trying to manipulate and guilt trip me?? I AM SO PISSED. HE REALLY TRIED TO DO THAT THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

during our first fight it worked because i was SO SHOCKED, as i said. and i was SCARED. but fuck him in the asshole he really- he really tried to FUCKING DO THAT TO ME

he accuses me of being disrespectful of his limits when he goes fucking bananas, everythings happening so fast i cant even process what just happen, i dont even have the time to apologize cus hes all over and everywhere. and he’s so fucking threatening. he’s like ”if you dont…..” and he doesnt realize what the fuck he’s doing?? i apologize because 1. i hate these fights and 2. i like him i dont want to hurt him but he’s like ”i have nothing to apologize for”

STUPID FUCKING CUNTBAG YOUR UGLY TECHNIQUES ARE WAY OVER MY LIMITS, YOURE DISRESPECTING ME 101919X MORE THAN I EVER DISREPSEXTED U BY CALLING U A WHITE MAN.

(also can we talk abt how this motherfucker understabds that whites and men are privileged but he still doesnt get why reverse oppression isnt a thing and that it is GROUPS that are privileged and NOT individuals??? like he’s that fucking dumb)

that shit actually HURT!!!! i think he’s really immature during fights, i think he’s really fucking pathetic and i’m glad i’ve come to that conclusion rather than beating myself up. yes, i now understand that this is probably what it feels like for the counterpart when im fighting with them and im fuckig sorry that im acting like this psycho

BUT!!!!!! what really HURT was that he HONESTLY TRIED TO MANIPULATE ME. if i hadn’t called his ass out this time he would have gotten away with it AGAIN

bitch, he’s fucking 23 years old. he’s 4 years older than me. he also KNOWS!!!!!! i have a stupid crush on him and he STILL!!!!! TRIED TO GUILT TRIP ME, TRIED TO MAKE ME OBEY AND SUBMIT TO HIM, GET DOWN ON MY KNEES AND BEG

im so pissed and a part of me wish i would just have exploded but i couldnt because it was fucking 1 am and my family was asleep and i couldnt fucking shout at someone over the phone. also it actually made me feel a bit superior and mature when i was all calm and he still was upset (even though he wouldnt admit it, stupid proud brat. his voice changes distinctly). okay YES, i MAY have patronized him a little but also NOT!!! i was just really tired and sad and i still liked him so like….. i was just upset and trying to calm him down

its kind of hilarious how i had to tell him to stop sounding so aggressive and he was like ”im not” and i was like ”yes you are” and so he actually KIND OF stopped and it was easier to talk to him. wow i feel so powerful lmao. omg in really not any better than him am i? i know im not because no matter how much he denies it…….. im literally exactly the same when i fight 😔😔 i tell myself i wasnt like that because i didnt WANT to, because i want to be MATURE but a part of me honestly thinks its just me knowing my place. i like him more than the likes me, he can use that to his advantage, there was no reason or possibility for me to dominate him.

im still very pissed though and just because i like him i still REFUSE to follow him like a little puppy. ive been so worried ALL this time that i wouldnt be able to keep up with him intellectually, that he was too good for me, too smart and too kind. PFFFFFFFT!!! im sorry but i swear i was just idealizing him or smth. its his fucking voice and scent, its like a drug it makes me all calm and dizzy but objectively…. dont fucking let him manipulate you. if he ever makes you feel like yo should apologize and that tou did wrong, ask yourself WHY. an east escape is not the right answer. call him the fuck out. i think and hope he avtually would appreciate it as well……. even though he’s so fucking stubborn and proud OMG HES SO PROUD I CANT, I AM PROUD TOO BUT NOT TO HIM. or maybe a little since i now refuse to fucking message him, maybe a little bit manipulative but no, im still mad, the way he acted lady night was fucked up. why does he have to be so proud with ME???? is it because he doesnt feel as emotionally connected to me as i do? yeah probably

that stupid motherufcker…. when i told him ”instead of threatening me that you’re gonna hung up if i dont ’respect’ aka BEHAVE accordingly…. you could just say ’hey im not comfortable talking right now, i need to hung up’ AND HE WAS LIKE ”but we’re not that close-/but we’re not that emotionally-” or something like that and i was like……. is this dipshit clown really serious?? ”uhhh its more like COMMON SENSE AND RESPECT” and he was like ”yeah maybe…” YEAH MAYBE? NO YOU KNOW IM FUCKING RIGHT

god that piece of shit really thinks he has me wrapped around his finger or something. im attracted to him but what he doesnt understand is that he’s still a plain white man. he had NO IDEA how much im controlling myself by even letting myself fall for a white man. does he really think he can like…. i sont know?? i fucking asked him. because i said ”i dont demand or threaten you” and he was like yeah i know. and i was like woahhh…. wait a second….. ”do you think i dont because i like you? do you think i would just follow you whatever?” and he was like ”im not gonna answer that”

oh my god he really thought didnt he. stupid ass white boy really thought i would choose him over myself or any of my siblings of color. smh poor jack.

im going nuts. okay…. if he EVER pulls something like this again i wont be so sure i’ll be able to handle this on a mature level. the worst thing is though that i HAVE TO. because even when i DO, he’s so fucking ptronizing. like te WHITE MAN just jumped out???? if i were to lose my shit……. ITS SI FRUSTRATING AND ITS EXACTLY WHY I CANT BE WITH A WHITE MAN. i was avtually very fucking calm and he STILL managed to make me feel like i was the ”bad guy”.

ughhhh im fucking insane. this…… whatever the fuck our relationship is cus this boy is apprently only interested in me what the fuck that now even means?? okay so we can like hang out and be physical and cuddle and shit but we’re not a couple and its NOT limited to being exclusively us. apparebtly i should still feel flattered though?? cus he doesnt find anyone attractive and he needs some sort of chemistry??? im sorry boy but i am NOT flattered. you do you, i get it, it takes time for you to fall in love with someone but im obviously still much more emotionally invested. that not your fault. thats my problem. my abandonment and attatchment issues. honestly im so fucked i cant even differ my feelings. my feelings for him are strong but idk what they are. some days i feel like platonic friendship, other days an older brother, a romantic partner and sometimes even a dad/parental figure. like im that fucked up i just need a STRONG BOND i dont care what

i low key hate myself for how i ended the call yesterday. thanks to that, now i cant bring this up again. its too late. the fight is ”over”. i was like ”i still like u bye goodnight sweet dreams” but now im like ”i hate u ugly bitch”.

god my head