#OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO MAKE MY DINNER
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ooohghhh yeah im back in the groove (has been rendering more)
#majora.txt#OOOHHH YEAH MY POWERS ARE BACK#do not get me wrong. doing my lined stuff Also Fun. but also i hate doing lineart 80% of the time#rendering is fuuuuuuun i can turn my brain off#OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO MAKE MY DINNER
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Marc Revelado Documentary clip and English transcript
#motogp#rosquez#marc marquez#valentino rossi#vr46#mm93#my amazing friend translated it for me!!!!#she said marc was stuttering so bad esp at the beginning so after a few sentences she gave up trying to add that to the transcript..#just know he was so nervous#i wonder why!!!!#keeps screaming at this for the rest of the day i owe her my life my everything#LIKE.. THE INTERVIEWER ASKING IF THEY'D HAVE DINNER#TALK AGAIN#OR LAUGH OH MY GOD AUGHHHHHH PLEASEEEE WE ALL WANT U GUYS SO BAD PLEASE#PLEASE KISS AND MAKE UP#this is so fuckin sad just marc being nervous and somber saying he was lucky and then not so lucky... and it's not up to him#his sad smile#i gotta go cry
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thinkbing about. him
#random thoughts#fnaf#rotating him in my mind like an orb or perhapps a microwavable tv dinner#love the idea of a character who for some reason has him in their house and does regular maintenance on him#someone who worked for fazbear fright and fucking. stole him#au where the place wasn't burned down and actually opened and some kid started working there and fucking took his ass#springtrap in my head is like. mostly an animal. running on instinct and ancient programming. only rarely lucid#the kid who took him oh my god. what if someone who was the sibling of one of the five missing kids stole him#and like. they know he's the man behind the slaughter and can remember him from when he was alive#and they take him and keep him running as like a form of torture. because fazbear fright was gonna be shut down and the animatronic#was gonna be destroyed or smth and they were like 'no you son of a bitch not yet'#and they can sometimes see the ghosts of the children and employees who died and henry. but like they're not done#they cant let go. not yet.#cant let him go to the beyond because that would be too merciful for a son of a bitch like him#but springtrap cant really understand whats happening and mostly just sees Some Guy keeping him running so most of his feelings#are positive#when he's semi lucid he tries to kill them#when he recognizes them from before he kind of shuts down#the range is 'friend!!!' to 'i am going to fucking murder you' to 'how did you do in pe today'#like this guy mostly isn't william afton. idk who he is but he isn't him most of the time#i imagine the springtrap suit is a unique model so its hard to get replacement parts for him so most of him is custom at this point#idk what they do with the bones. probably leave them alone for the most part out of fear of him passing on if they got rid of them#he smells like dirt and mildew and restroom deoderizer probably#i imagine their thoughts on him are 'i recognize this mostly isnt the man who killed my sibling so i dont want him to suffer'#'but also i cant handle the idea of even a little of the man who killed my sibling being able to stop suffering'#like this is william's idea of hell. complete depersonalization#they make his stay tolerable. decent maintenance. idk what kind of enrichment he needs#being kept in a basement away from regular social interaction is probably hell for any children's animatronic#so he loves when they come down for maintenance. probably rarely at first and then more frequently as they adjust themself to his presence#idk how he feels about maintenance. probably very used to the feeling of having a dude inside of him lmaooo
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#being in ur 20s core.#thinking abt how much i love living with my roommate and how sad ill be once we have to move away from each other.....#like its fr crazy we first met when i moved in in may and now its like. shes fr one of my closest friends#now shes napping so im gonna go make dinner for us both <33 peace and love on this earth#thots#oh and the other side is because good lord thank god ill never have to go through some of the shit i went through the past 2 years again
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i love Superman and Lois SO GODDAMN MUCH it’s makes me incredibly happy to see another person watching and trust me… it’s gets crazier
I'm definitely enjoying it even if I'm still shouting at Clark about what I feel is his misplaced affection for small towns! 😂 It's better than I thought it would be (I was expecting just some standard superhero fare), and at least so far *knocks on wood* I'm enjoying the healthy romantic relationship he has with Lois. I can't wait to see what weirdness pops up going forward, BRING IT ON.
#superman and lois#I LOVE his relationship with lois and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside#ESPECIALLY with how supportive she is of the hero thing#cause oh my GOD i hate the superhero genre trope of 'STOP HEROING AND HAVE DINNER WITH ME EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE LITERALLY STOPPING A MURDER'#so that's been an EXCELLENT subversion that i appreciate#plus she's a badass in her own right which i adore#i'm looking forward to where this is going and i've only heard good things!
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#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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it’s been over a year & a half since endwalker but the in from the cold quest is still living in my mind rent free
#like going into endwalker i already had Some zenoswol brainworms but that quest just pushed me over the edge ajsdhfdfjs#like what do you meannn hes having a candlelit dinner with the wol that ends with him getting inside the wols body. oh my god#the image of zenos carrying the wol to his throne is never leaving my brain#like fandaniels busy making dinner (theres no way zenos made that. does he even know how to cook)#so zenos has a moment alone with the unconscious wol#like thats the first time hes been that close to the wol since ala mhigo!!! aurrhghg!!!#hes going to take a gay little moment to admire his bestie... putting a finger under wols chin to lift his face up a bit..#im just writing fanfic in these tags now. ahem.#it's just so much. from a zenoswol perspective. that quest gave me everything that quest was a fucking Feast#theres also the idea of zenos finding out my wol is trans through that quest &. ugh god#like i dont view zenos as transmasc but i dont view him as cis either#so it's like. another thing he has to connect with his friend yknow.. gender stuff.. augh
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things i will never understand
being mean to waiters
situationships
thinking that reading 100+ books that are white-centric and generic equates to being "well-read"
disliking poetry
influencer culture
not wanting to talk to old people
#that last one. don't you think older people have so much to tell you !!! they have lived so much#like... my dad's on the older side he's the same age as my friends grandparents and he will just. say things#that make me go oh my god#like he was in college before computers were really a thing#and they used punch cards#and it's like. why do you think old people are boring. I swear#c.txt#anyway... off I pop to finish personal writings by camus and eat my dinner and sleep in my soft comfy bed
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went to deposit a cheque into my account to discover i have $30 until my next pay cheque 😩
and of course the app isnt letting me deposit this cheque. because why bother having an app if its functional. a banking app that works ????! wild
#getting paid on thursday aka my birthday#but my rent is going up just for september so i really dont have any money oh my god#this birthday just keeps getting better and better#also this pay cheque will be smaller anyway because last monday was a holiday and i dont get holiday pay#the guy ive been seeing has been insisting on paying for things and holy fucking god thank god i didnt insist too hard#imagine i insisted on paying for $100 dinner and then got declined#our next date is going to be me making dinner at my hosue which was already the plan but yea thank fuck it is lol#i have cash to buy alcohol but i was originally going to get a decent bottle of wine#not anymore i suppose lol#fuck me man#i work so much how am i so broke#im not having a good morning#and ngl ive been taking too much xanax recently because my anxiety has been awful and the temptation right now is so strong#but i cant i cant i cant i cant#just gotta suffer instead#omg tho#i mentioned . to my date. that my doctor wont prescribe me anti-anxiety meds because of my 'problems' with addiction.#the addiction being that alcohol i drink to deal with my anxiety#to be clear#and he (my date) said he could help me with that because he knows people ahahaha#i said nooooo its fine ahaha but yea it did make me like him . just the fact that he wants to try and help#but its fiiiiineeeee#i need to find another doctor#uhg i want to see my therapist#its been 6 weeks but yea#$30 in my account so fucking fat chance thats going to happen any time soon#also i think i need to stop taking my meds#i spend $20 a day just to feel normal#i cant afford this#sure not being on my meds makes me suicidal but hey
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oh i DO hope andre hosts more dangerous dinner parties. the british officer trio of girlboss/gatekeep/gaslight is very precious (derogatory) (affectionate) to me
#dont tell me if he doesn't. i want to believe#that dinner with simcoe is already an all time tv moment for me i think. perfectly executed#when the handsome friendly smooth talker loses his temper and raises his voice but for only one (1) line 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌#bolt watches things#edit: am i going to have to make gifs of this myself. oh my god. fine
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ok but one of the joys of good omens: putting your favorite historical figure in the 'other tags to include' field on ao3 for funsies
#good omens#this post inspired by my having a lot of heartbreaking thoughts about keats lately#(he's in rome from 31 oct till his death on 23 feb so he's often on my mind in the winter)#and then wondering what if the ineffables were at the dinner where shelley was being That Atheist#ohhhhhhmg come on the hilaRITY#sdkfjsfdfs the whole dinner being a conversation about god's existence and shelley being obnoxious about it#and baiting v devout haydon about whether shakespeare believed in god or not#that's soooo the two idiots in a tiff over smth and crowley egging shelley on to fuck with aziraphale#(not that he needed much egging - oh peebs)#aziraphale in a spite parry miracles haydon the inspiration for 'christ's entry into jerusalem'#keats watching the interplay and kind of half-repulsed/half-enamored by shelley-as-nudged-by-crowley#something something so much demon imagery in keat's poetry something iDK#'the last whom i love more the more of blame is heap’d upon her - maiden most unmeek - i knew to be my demon poesy'#something something 'i should have been a rebel angel had the opportunity been mine'#LAMIA? HELLO???#GOD OK OK OK OK#which would make keats kind of being always a little wary of shelley and not taking up his offer to convalesce with him in pisa#and going to rome instead kind of a consequence of aziraphale and crowley bullshit#oof ouch it hurt itself in its confusion#goD aziraphale's take on keats given his whole victorian charity schtick in the edinburgh minisode I AM FASCINATED#esp given keats's background as a pharmacist and surgeon's assistant - my guy was def on the scalpel side of the resurrectionist trade#MANY THOUGHTS#anyway there are only two tagged appearances of keats in good omens fic but aziraphale fucks shelley once so like
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Can't sleep. Maybe I'll pull an all-nighter then go do an eight hour shift. Nothing could go wrong.
#remembering that stimulants make it hard to sleep#took a Vyvanse at noon#then drank two coffees#hmm i wonder why i cant sleep /s#on the bright side itll be the last shift at my current job#then im moving back to a much chiller job that doesnt make me want to stick my hands in the fryer#thank god. i couldnt take even one more day of this job#this next job is properly staffed which means i can get a lot more days off without it being a problem which is great#i remember there being days when id ask if i could leave early the next day#and theyd just say 'yeah. do you want to come in earlier so you still get hours?' and thatd be that#at this job i can just plug in my earbuds and make my food and im primarily alone and i love it#it makes me go a little crazy. being almost completely alone for 8+ hours a day. but whatevs#oh i used to work at this job and im going back to it. for context#i rarely encounter customers and i am so so so happy about that#a year in fast food reminded me that i hate people#in 1.5 years in this job (the new one) i dealt with like two bad customers#in my fast food job i had at least two bad customers per day#looking at an ideal future id only be there another year#then move in with my gf in a different area. get a better job. have a happier life with her#get a dog. have movie nights. make her dinner. come home and not be stressed so i can enjoy my time with her#help her with her college work. fall asleep with her every night. knit next to her while she plays video games#well this got very gay very quickly#i love her. i love you all. i hope you have the amazing lives you all deserve. i hope you find little things to fall in love with every day#i hope you find good music. i hope you see a cute animal today. and i hope you feel so so loved. youre all so wonderful and dear to me#sleep well and sweet dreams ❤️
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i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex
#personal#fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm#ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot#after she was complaining about how mean we are to her#which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day#and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look#frumpy when we get dinner#and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what#5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ?#and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my#brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company#and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home#me#and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway#but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain#and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you#and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it#anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen
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welp. the phantom cramps are no longer phantom 😃
#i Am going to scream my lungs out this could not be a less convenient time for this#tomorrow is my shopping trip which. will be Exhausting bc i’m so. so not into shopping. and now i have to do it crampy and emo and. yknow#and!!! i’m sure i will be bloated so trying on clothes will be even more fun xo#and i have to work on finishing my paper tomorrow too so. side note#then! i just made plans to go out out like. drinking dancing etc with my friends saturday night so. that’s that#sunday i have a thing which means. very much dressed up. and i have plans sunday night too with my best friend lol#then! monday i have work but then made up to go for dinner w the friend things are weird w rn but that’s up in the air i think#bc i may be going out w her first and idk if she’ll keep the standing date lol#then! tuesday! i have orientation for my doctoral program so there’s that happening#wed is normal lmfao just. work. but then thursday is graduation <3 weeee#and then NEXT friday. i am finally not busy#and you’re telling me with THIS week that NOW was the perfect time to have me bleed for a week. for This week. fuck off#time to start saying prayers for it to be short and quick and relatively painless or else 😃 this week will be the seventh circle of hell#how am i supposed to do all that and function as i would while also wanting to rip out my internal organs. good question#in summary my social calendar is too booked for my liking lmfao i need time in between to recover#oh my god AND!!!! AND!!!!!! i’m abt to go up a dosage in these meds i’m on even tho i wanted to stay on what i was on til now but#the pharmacy didn’t have it in the same dosage bc shortages but they did have enough for the higher one so. i went up#and the catch is that these are the meds making me nauseous which means. i’ll be More nauseous which is NOT helpful#or ideal ever but especially considering im sure i’ll be nauseous bc it is what it is#im sksososodkfofofogldnskdlf so not. looking forward to this <3#this has been a rant
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this user is normal about renaissance artists
#^^ lie#leonardo da vinci hyperfixation has me in its fucking grips!!! i’m going fucking insane oh my god ohhh my god i love him so much#having blorbo feelings 💔💔🌀😽😽 (he died five centuries ago)#literally i was at dinner with my family today showing them my favorite leonardo da vinci works like LOOK THIS ONE WAS LEFT HNFINISHED#BECAUSE HE WAS VERY OFTEN INNATENTIVE AND HARDLY GOT ALL THE WAY THROJGN A PROJEXT BUT YOU CAN SEE FROM THE DIRECTION OF THE HATCHING#THAT ITS HIS BECAUSE HE WAS LEFT HANDED.. THE TWISTING FORM WAS ONE OF HIS FAFORITES WHICH ADDED A LOT OF FLUIDITY TO HIS ART AND HE#ALSO DID A LOT OF SPIRAL COMPOSITIONS IN HIS BIGGER PAINTINGS#LIKE IN ADORATION OF THE MAGI YOU CAN SEE IT WAS ALSO UNFINISHED PROBABLY FOR MANY REASONS BUT IT WAS ONE OF HIS EARLIER COMMISSIONS AND HE#PROBABLY GOT OVERWHELMED BY THE DETAIL HECAUSE HE WANTED TO MAKE EVERY PART UNIQUE AND HE WROTE IN HIS NOTEBOOKS NOT TO REPEAT A SHAPE TOO#MANY TIMES AND THAT SPECIFIC ONE WAS DRAWN IN HIS EARLY TWENTIES ANF HIS DAD GOT HIM THE COMMISION BECAUSE HE HAD JUST STOPPED WORKING FOR#VERROCHIOS WORKSHOP AND HIS WORKSHOP SUCKED BECAUSE HIS WORKING HABITS WERE ASS AND HE WAD VERY EASILY DISTRACTED#anyway#ziggy speaks
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#personal#god i tell people i'm okay and then a day later i'm in bed crying because my sister gave me £100 as a late birthday present#like???#i guess it's just weird because like i legitimately thought she forgot???#esp since i last saw her at christmas when i literally left the dinner to get away from her#so when my bday passed i was just like aight i feel like shit anyway and we'd just end up arguing so it's probably better she's not here#(she's but also been busy moving house but like. in the least organised manner possible. probably a contributing factor.)#so today when i go downstairs and my mum gives me £100 passed on from my sister and earnestly tells me i need to thank her for it i'm just?#??????#like a) dont fucking treat me like a child#and b) dont give me something just out of obligation????#i know she's all rich now because she made a profit selling her old house but i'd literally rather have like a text or something on the day#than a three week old 'oh btw here you are' kind of thing#does that make sense????#negative //
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