#also this pay cheque will be smaller anyway because last monday was a holiday and i dont get holiday pay
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went to deposit a cheque into my account to discover i have $30 until my next pay cheque 😩
and of course the app isnt letting me deposit this cheque. because why bother having an app if its functional. a banking app that works ????! wild
#getting paid on thursday aka my birthday#but my rent is going up just for september so i really dont have any money oh my god#this birthday just keeps getting better and better#also this pay cheque will be smaller anyway because last monday was a holiday and i dont get holiday pay#the guy ive been seeing has been insisting on paying for things and holy fucking god thank god i didnt insist too hard#imagine i insisted on paying for $100 dinner and then got declined#our next date is going to be me making dinner at my hosue which was already the plan but yea thank fuck it is lol#i have cash to buy alcohol but i was originally going to get a decent bottle of wine#not anymore i suppose lol#fuck me man#i work so much how am i so broke#im not having a good morning#and ngl ive been taking too much xanax recently because my anxiety has been awful and the temptation right now is so strong#but i cant i cant i cant i cant#just gotta suffer instead#omg tho#i mentioned . to my date. that my doctor wont prescribe me anti-anxiety meds because of my 'problems' with addiction.#the addiction being that alcohol i drink to deal with my anxiety#to be clear#and he (my date) said he could help me with that because he knows people ahahaha#i said nooooo its fine ahaha but yea it did make me like him . just the fact that he wants to try and help#but its fiiiiineeeee#i need to find another doctor#uhg i want to see my therapist#its been 6 weeks but yea#$30 in my account so fucking fat chance thats going to happen any time soon#also i think i need to stop taking my meds#i spend $20 a day just to feel normal#i cant afford this#sure not being on my meds makes me suicidal but hey
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