#in 1.5 years in this job (the new one) i dealt with like two bad customers

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Can't sleep. Maybe I'll pull an all-nighter then go do an eight hour shift. Nothing could go wrong.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Change is due

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader

Pov: Reader

Warning: Fighting, Swearing, fluff, angst, Dean being a douchebag, guilt.

Summary: What about talking instead of fighting.

Word Count: 1.8k

A/n- This is for band-pyschos 1.5 followers bingo writing challenge. This makes me sad, but whatever.

Square- "Stay with me"

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Tag list: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @wonderfulworldofwinchester @doctorlilo @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski

The drive to the bunker was quiet. The rev of the engine. The downright scariness of the way that all I could hear was the passing of other vehicles on the road. That sound too eventually stopped as the driver back to the bunker was much longer than originally anticipated.

Dean had a temper like nobody's business. The temper of a wild dog, or maybe it was a wild bear. Regardless Dean's temper was downright scary most times. But then again most times that temper of his was never directed towards me.

Yes between miniature fights, and getting annoyed with each other fights did occur, but nothing too bad. You see, three years into hunting and now living with the famous Winchesters. I had fallen deeply for Dean Winchester.

Falling for someone is an already dangerous game, but falling in love with a Winchester. The most hunted after, hunters of them all that was a dangerous game to start playing.

I played the game regardless. Can you imagine falling for someone so much that your worlds just connect so well? Like amazing jigsaw puzzle pieces. Or maybe falling in love was like finally figuring out the correct word in a crossword puzzle.

Like Forrest says "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're going to get." I would have never been able to tell you that when I was a little girl playing in my room running around in the pure white dress that I would one day grow up kill the monster that haunts this earth, and fall for the most righteous man, the fallen soldier, the best hunter I had ever met.

Could you imagine a six-year-old, coming up to their parent and saying that one day they'd fight monsters, and fall in love with the greatest monster hunter of them all. In your dreams.

Life with the Winchesters was most of the time pandemonium. Life with them was like living in the thunder dome. Like driving on the icy roads and hoping that you don't fall off the cliff. But life was calm sometimes, being able to have a half-assed normal life was good for all of us.

Sam was the best brother a person could ask for. The best friend a person could ask for. I think the moment I met the Winchesters, Dean and I were like magnets dragging each other together. Slated to be together for the rest of our lives, soul mates if you will.

This last hunt was nothing like we had ever dealt with before. So many children had been killed. I had put myself in the way, getting hurt instead of letting more children get hurt. A natural mother... or maybe just a natural instinct of a woman.

Dean, of course, was anger like normal, but usually, his anger would blow over and we'd either make-up or like the band, AC/DC says "You shook me all night long".

this night was different though. Something was off, something felt wrong. Yes, the drive was long and very fucking quiet but something in the air felt wrong. I'd like to think that I'm a tough cookie, a queen disguised as a princess.

I always think that Dean forgets that the reason he and I get along so well is that we are almost alike, in almost every way. We act the same way, love the same things, react the same way. Two peas in a pod if you will.

Dean tends to forget that when he gets angry, but comes to his sense rather quickly after, he either gets blown off, or the subject gets changed, something that he does often to Sam or me. In the situation where he knows he has no control, or where he is uncomfortable, feeling like he's being pushed into the corner.

I used to let Dean act like a douchebag. I let Dean get mad, yell, throw things, get in my face. But recently. Dean's anger has been out of this world, too much to bare, too much to handle. he almost turns into the hulk. It's like he forgets his normal manners and just wants to hulk smash literally everything around him.

How do you make someone realize what they are doing? How do you show someone how they are acting is affecting you?

Finally after what felt like days, but was really just hours of driving we pulled into the garage, the sound of the engine bouncing off of the cinderblock walls. During said drive Dean and I made eye contact once, his green ember eyes staring deep at me through the rear-view mirror. My own eyes making sure to stare at him with just the same amount of deep soul searching Dean was.

Sam steered in his sleep, the coldness of the garage and the car smell waking him from his sleep. Not a single word was said. Sam was the first one out of the car, opening the impalas back, grabbing his bags, and making a rather quick exit of the garage.

Neither of us moving from our spots. We sat in silence. A silence that's a funny word if you think about it. It the most screamed word when you're being told to be quiet. But it weighs heavy between two people.

Fighting was and has never been my style with Dean. Dean wants to yell and be an idiot then I'll let him be, but I won't go without saying my peace. I'll get up and leave if I want to. There's nothing holding me to the man, an argument is just a battle of words.

Finally, Dean moves, moves to look in the back seat. His eye passes over my figure like always. Passing by over my crisscrossed shins up to my jean-covered thighs, over my hips, up my t-shirt and flannel covered belly, up to my tall shoulders, and to my face.

The little light that was streaming into the impala's backseat. "Why?" Was all Dean said, staring at me. I chewed my lip thinking of anything to say. "Stop chewing on your lip. It's finally started to heal." Dean said.

Still, my body stuck in my crisscrossed position. I heard the creak of the impala, as I saw Dean shift from the front seat to the back seat. "I'm pretty sure that I just told you to stop doing that." He said bringing his thumb up to my lips, gently pulling down releasing my bottom lip from my teeth.

"What were you thinking?" Dean asked picking once again at the issue at hand. "I was thinking about the children," I said looking at the man next to me. It was quiet for a moment, then a heavy sigh filled the air.

"The children?" Dean said questioning me. A cocked-eyed eyebrow raised in confusion to my answer. Sometimes it's like my answer is either not good enough, or isn't the right one. "Yes, the children," I stated calmly.

"I'm getting confused here Y/n," Dean said shifting causing the smallest of creak from the old impala. "I stepped in front of the children," I said.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that but why?" He asked. This firstly is going calm, and Dean's asking questions just before assuming shit, but why does this seem odd, kinda like all of the sudden protecting the young kids isn't enough to get a few scrapes and bruises.

"Did the great Dean Winchester just ask me that?" I said now turning the tables and questioning him. "Yeah, I did." He said so cut and dry-like. "You really wanna know why?" I asked

We were still sitting in the back of his precious car. I had rested my head on the headrest, closing my eyes. Dean was just staring, it had become a bad habit of his after we got together.

"Because Dean those kids didn't deserve whatever that monster did to them. Hell, I just pulled ten kids out, you and sam pulled at ten each. Can you even imagine that, because I can. Being so scared that I can't even protect myself." I said.

Taking a deep breath in and sighing loudly.

"What are you talking about Y/n?" Dean asked, looking at me now with more intent. Wanting yearning to get to the bottom jar of worms we had so carefully opened.

"You know what ignore me, it doesn't make any difference," I said uncrossing my legs and turning to unlock the back door. I was stopped before my fingertips even grabbed onto the cold metal on the handle.

"Do you remember that promise you made me? All those years ago." Dean said, pulling me into his warm touch. His scent of bourbon and wood fell down around us. "No, I don't Dean," I said honestly confused about what I had promised.

"You promise me that whatever was on your mind you would come to me and talk about it. I know six years is a long time, but that day you promised that you've never broken that promise." Dean said while he drew small circles into my lower back.

"Tonight though right now, you're breaking that promise. You don't have to give me every single detail but just don't go walking in front of a monster because you don't know what else to do. You know that you can talk to your boyfriend right?" He said questioning me towards the end.

I only shook my head in response Dean took that as his sign to continue talking. "I just, I'm fearing that you're starting to drift away, and honestly Y/n. Honest;y Y/n I don't think I would know what to do without you." Dean said.

This is different, new, and odd. This Dean is someone who only comes out when the world is ending or the tears are about to be shed for the umpteen amount of time. This Dean, this is the Dean I fell in love with. "So make me this promise now, stay with me," Dean asked.

"Stay with you?" I asked, "Of course stay with you, I guess I just have to learn to be able to ask for help, right Dean." I said hugging him from the awkward position we had fallen into when he pulled me away from the back door.

"No more running, no more fighting alone. We do everything together now." Dean said, cupping my slightly tears stained cheek." Bumping our foreheads together in a sign of good faith you could say. I hummed and returned the favor.

Moments like this the calm, and the quiet. These were those times where I felt at home. I've realized with this job, hunting home isn't a place with four walls and a roof over your head it's about the people in your life. Make a home with the people who care about you. Make a home with the people you would fight anything to hurt, Make home able to be anywhere.

And when you can do that finally you can make home turn into love, and love into strength. Having all three makes you happier I'd like to think in the long run of things. So just "stay with me" that's all I'm asking of you, the rest we can do together.

Completed on: 05/06/2021

*Happy Throwback Thursday*

[the-noodle-king]

So here’s the thing, ever since I first drew Flower Child I’ve wanted to redraw them, their old pose was really bad and their design was kinda weak and just, blegh. Flash forward like, a year, or two or something, I got a commission of all my Overwatch OC’s from @teahermitcomics who helped redesign a couple of them, among them Flower Child. Flash forward to now and I’ve finally redrawn them in their new design... mostly. I went back to short hair because I kinda missed it and I’m super happy with their new haircut so, I stand by it!

This was a lot of fun to draw and colour, I had a blast reinterpreting Jade’s amazing design into my own style and figuring out what I wanted to do for their other skins.

Anyway, Bio and slightly tweaked stats under the cut~

Real Name:  Jinan Al-Karim

Alias:  Flower Child

Role:  Support  /  Job:  Buffing & Debuffing Damage Dealer-Healer

-

Hit Points:  200  /  Health:  150  /  Shields:  50

Primary Weapon:  Energy Conversion Cannon (Left Arm)

Ammo:  90  /  Reload Speed:  1.5 Seconds  /  Rate of Fire:  18 shots per Second

Damage:  8 per shot  /  DPS:  144  /  Attack Type:  Rapid Fire Linear Projectiles

Primary Fire, Energy Conversion Volley:  Extremely rapid fire projectiles fired in a tight grouping at high speed, shot from the entirety of Flower Child’s mechanical left arm.  /  Projectile Speed:  110 Meters per second

Ability 1, Enfeeble:  Target an enemy and lower the damage they can deal while in your sights, as well as increasing the damage they take from your attacks.  /  Range: 35M  /  Duration: Permanent until LoS break + 2.5s without LoS  /  Damage Dealt Reduction: -25%  /  Damage Taken Increase (From Flower Child Only): +25%  /  Cooldown: 4s from Use, instantly resets upon death of target

Ability 2, Sap Life:  Gain Life-Steal on your attacks, healing yourself for the damage you deal either for a short time, or for up to 400 points of self-healing. (This makes the Damage-Into-Healing conversion of Symbiosis 100% for the duration).  /  Max Duration: 8s  /  Life-Steal: 100% of damage dealt  /  Cooldown: 6s from end of Duration

Ability 3, Symbiosis:  Target an ally and heal them for a portion of the damage you deal for as long as they remain in your sights, even over great distances, as well as sharing with them a portion of the healing you yourself receive (including over-healing which you do not directly benefit from).  /  Range: Infinite  /  Duration: Permanent until LoS break + 6s without LoS  /  Ally Healing (From Damage Dealt): 50% of damage dealt  /  Ally Healing (From Healing Received): 50% of healing received  /  Cooldown: 3s from Use

Ultimate, Garden of Ruin:  Create a large area within which allies receive healing and buffs to their action speeds, while enemies are drained of strength and slowed. Allies within the AoE move, attack and reload quicker, as well as having their abilities cooldown quicker, while enemies move and reload slower, each also being slowly healed and damaged respectively. Killing Flower Child after the cast time does not end the Ultimate.  /  Cast Time: 1.15s  /  AoE: 16M  /  Duration: 10s  /  Ally Healing: 15 per second  /  Enemy Damage: 10 per second  /  Ally Movement & Attack Speed Buffs: +20%  /  Ally Reload & Ability Cooldown Speed Buffs: +25%  /  Enemy Movement Speed Debuff: -20%  /  Enemy Reload Speed Debuff: -50%  /  Required Charge: 1925

Passive, Nimble:  Flower Child’s small and slight frame allows for quick movement and expert dodges. Walk quicker, jump higher and crouch down lower to better avoid damage.  /  Movement Penalty while Crouching is Reduced to -20%  /  Base Walk Speed Bonus: +10%  /  Base Jump Height Bonus: +35%  /  Crouching Hitbox Size Reduction: -30%

-

Ultimate Voiceline (Self & Enemies):  أنا زرع بذور الخراب! ('ana zare budhur alkharab!)

Ultimate Voiceline (Allies):  I Sow the Seeds of Ruin!

Hero Select Voiceline:  Through Adversity, I Blossom

-

Home / Base of Operations:  Oasis, Iraq

Nationality:  Iraqi

Sexuality:  Lesbian  /  Gender:  Non-Binary  /  Pronouns:  They/Them

Age:  31  /  Date of Birth:  1st of April

Height:  5ft

Affiliation / Allegiance:  Oasis, The Ministry of Biology, Overwatch (Recall)

Backstory:  Jinan spent many years working under their parents in the Ministry of Biology, studying plants of all kinds to create incredible medicines, their passion even leading to the nickname of Oasis’ resident “Flower Child”.

One fateful day, a gravely sick person was brought to Oasis in need of many varied treatments, inciting many whispers and rumours throughout the Ministries. Naturally Jinan’s curiosity was overwhelming, and even their parents were tight lipped over just who was being treated, and for what. A few favours traded in and a misplaced file reading “SB UNIT” later, and their curiosity had them do the only sensible thing; break in to where the person of interest was being kept to see for them self just what was going on.

What they found was a woman only a couple years older than themself, more than half cybernetics and seeming to be in the late stages of rejecting the foreign tech. Their relationship was rocky at first, each wary of, yet fascinated by the other, Jinan would visit her in secret at first, coaxing little bits of conversation out of her, learning her name - at least the name she’d given herself for lack of another - and as she got better, they walked together and learnt more and more as they spoke. Eventually wary fascination had become friendship, then something more, and finally love.

Now 5 years later, SB Al-Karim is Jinan’s utterly beloved wife, but the state of the world troubles her deeply and keeps her awake through the night. With little more than a second thought, Jinan packed their bags and the pair set off to fix the world on the front-lines, to fight side by side with their love and right the world themself; and with the help of some new-old vigilantes...

[zmbkl]

Nano 3

Hello everyone,

 This got a little rambley and nonsensical. I don’t plan to edit these for coherent thoughts. I want this to be very free form, so…

I got back from seeing my family today. It was my dad’s and his twin’s fiftieth birthday today. We met my aunt at Round Table. She was there with her boyfriend of the last flourish years. She seemed really upset because she had to switch venues because she got double booked. At first I thought her anger was a little misplaced as these things happened, but my grandmother (her mom) called. She was upset because she was waiting at the first Round Table for 20 minutes, and she said she didn’t hear from anyone. Everyone said they tried texting and calling her, but my grandmother wasn’t having any of it and didn’t end up showing. This put my aunt in a bad mood. Meh.

I got to see my dad for the first time in like a year. He looked a lot older than I was used to. My dad was always a very angry guy. He used to spank us, yelled a lot and he got sent to anger management a few times. I was surprised to hear he was a Trump supporter, mostly because I never talked to my dad about politics and never heard any of his views. I used to be really afraid of him. He was as tall as me and very imposing. He got in trouble for hitting my mom a few times, and he used to bust holes in my mother’s grandmother’s house when he got angry. Both were incredibly shitty because it left us to deal with it.

My maternal grandmother was also a very angry person, so when my dad threw a tantrum we paid the price. He would kick a hole in the wall or put a hole in a door then leave to god knows were. My grandmother would freak out. Her anger was justified, but she would often direct it at me and my siblings. She would word it as if we were a burden my parents would leave on her after we messed up her house. “He busted up my home and leaves me with his @#$%ing kids!!” We didn’t have any control over the situation, but we still felt like a burden. She called the cops a few times. She even kicked us out once when the cops came. The cops felt bad for us and got my grandmother to call someone to come pick us up.

When I went to visit him today, he yelled at my nephew the way he used to yell at me and his voice cracked. He sounded like he didn’t have the scary voice I used to associate with him. It was weird to hear him age. It’s also clear he isn’t taking care of himself because his twin seems like he is aging a lot better.

I don’t feel the need to repair the relationship with my parents. My dad was a very angry person, abusive and neglectful,. My mom wasn’t much better. She had a lot of boyfriends who would also bust up my grandmother’s house and leave, which again, just left the kids to feel the brunt of my grandmother’s rage. The boyfriends would stay over ALL the time, and eat a lot of our food. We lived off my mother’s food stamps and we were often foodless by the end of the month. I was a small kid in high school. Like, I was tall but really skinny. Thank god for school lunches when I had them. My mom used to also leave for the WHOLE day. She would stay at her friends and leave us at home with her mother. (We lived with my grandmother if that wasn’t clear) My grandmother would bitch about how shitty it was to leave her kids with her and bale. True, and I agree, but she would bitch to the kids that were left behind. This didn’t help our self-esteem. My dad was aggressive and abusive and my mom was very neglectful. All of my siblings had major dental surgery because my parents did teach us good hygiene practices. I didn’t take regular showers until I was in high school, which seems super gross knowing this as an adult. I learned how to shave from my female high school English teacher. The teacher was taking to the class about an episode of “Queer eye for the straight guy” she watched about how guys shave. I took note and it’s the way I’ve been shaving since then. My mom once let my sister get SUPER sick because she didn’t want to go to the hospital and wait in the long line. I ended up taking her. We got a visit from CPS soon after that.

I don’t care for my parents to be at any major events. I am inviting them to my wedding just I can pretend to my friends and future parents in law that my family was normal. I almost didn’t tell them I got engaged. I ended up making a group chat of Facebook and telling them there. I’m not mean to them. I did get into an argument with my mom when I found out the car I gave to my little brother was beat up by one of her boyfriends. I found out my brother never drove the car and her boyfriend tore out pieces of the seat and punched the dash a bunch. I got into an argument with her when I threatened not to give the car back to her. It ended up getting burnt down later that year after I gave it back. That wasn’t a typo btw. I got BURNT down. By god knows what. I’m still upset about it. I was made to feel like a burden a lot when I was younger and I feel no desire to be better friends with them.

I do feel bad about my siblings. They went through the same thing I did. I told them I hated that place (our childhood home) and the best thing I did was get out of there. I gave them advice and told them they were a lot better than that place. My brother called me on his birthday. He told me how right I was and how he didn’t listen to me. I could tell he started to cry. What’s weird is even though we felt crappy about being a burden on people we still had a lot of pride. I feel like we got it from our dad. I was at the lunch this morning and I could tell my dad was trying to act like he was doing better than he was. He was talking about his new job and how much he was working. I could tell he sounded defensive in front of his older sister. I think my brother was crying because he isn’t doing too well right now. He works at a car wash, and is suffering from intense mental problems. He takes very aggressive medication for it. I don’t think he ever got his GED. The medication affects his short term memory and he can’t survive without it. I think he believes I think less of him. I don’t, but I don’t know how to convince him of that. He was dealt a very difficult hand and I consider myself lucky I am where I am. I had a lot of help and a lot of sleepless nights. I could have easily been in the spot he is in if I didn’t meet the people I did. My sister had her second kid recently. She had her first at 16 I think. She hid the pregnancy from our parents and grandmother until 1.5 months before he was born. I got a text out of nowhere from my mom who said my sister was 7 months pregnant. My mom said she just realized. My mom lives with my sister if that wasn’t clear. I got SO pissed when I heard. Not at my sister. She can do what she wants and I find it terrible she didn’t feel safe telling anyone she was pregnant.  It floors me that my mom could go that long without realizing it. That was 3 years ago. My sister has two healthy children now. I saw them today.

I don’t talk to my sister much either. I don’t hate her. She is working, and lives with her boyfriend. I hear bad things about her boyfriend, but just that he is lazy. It’s not ideal but it’s not the worst. She seems like she is doing ok, but I dunno.

I have this fear of my home town. Whenever I have nightmares they are always link to Modesto. I could be having a nightmare about spiders or someone chasing me, but it’s usually set somewhere in my hometown. I am very afraid of it dragging me down. When I was in college I used to think the reason I didn’t go home much was because I risked the people there dragging me down and I’d never finish college. I’m finished now and I still have the fear that if I get too involved in my family’s life then they would find a way to tear down what I have. My parents DESTROYED my grandmother’s house, and the car I gave them. I am happy right now. I don’t want to risk that trying to repair a relationship with people who neglected me when I was younger.  I feel a duty to help my siblings, and it’s going to be a difficult conversation when my parents are too sick to function. I’ll cross that road when it comes. I don’t have a plan and it depresses me to think about.

 I dunno

[allsystemsarenotgo]

“The Novel”

I've been needing to talk to somebody about something. Last night, somebody I don't talk to very often anymore was willing to give up some sleep to talk to me.

I gave them the abridged version. I knew they needed sleep and didn't have time for a novel.

.

.

.

Here is "The Novel".

---

A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you've never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, ... At some point you begin to believe it.

When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life.....

You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.

I was an opinionated ass in high school that knew better but did the things anyways because I had nothing to really lose. Except I did lose alot of pride along the way.

I didn't like many things, and I didn't understand the decisions of many people. There are days that I wish I was still friends with people that I alienated or that alienated me because I didn't believe in drinking alcohol or having kids before college, or at a young age at all.

There are alot of days that I wonder....will I have to be find a lady 8-10 years younger than myself to love me for who I am...and potentially make them have kids at a young age so I'm not the age of their peers' grandpa's when they graduate?

^ That image was me in high school.

I never dated in high school. I courted and got shot down a ...couple... times. I didn't go to parties, I wasn't a part of the cool kids' clique. I didn't really....do anything high-schooley in high school.

And it got me bullied. My eccentricities made me well known. I was generally outspoken and firm on what I believed (no sex, no alcohol, scientifically agnostic) and...it basically made me live in infamy. It got me bullied alot. I was called gay and queer alot. And it wasn't just from 1 or 2 or 5 people.

I had 3 crushes in high school. Two were a grade younger than I.

The first I asked out my Sophomore year. We talked alot, sat next to eachother, did classwork together. We were both above-average students, so the teacher us let us do what we wanted while she dealt with the rest of the class.

That was really what entered me into the downward spiral of depression. I'd never asked a girl out before, much less been shot down. It took me a long time to get over that.

The second I asked out my junior year. We didn't have any classes together, but I had worked my way into her family via a mutual friend. I felt like we knew eachother fairly well.

Getting shot down by her didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But given the nature of high school, the backlash of her friends and friends-of-friends, and probably half the school altogether...that is what hurt. It showed the true colors of many whom were already primadonna status, approaching it, or (falsely) thought they had it. She did apologize to me after a period of time, and ultimately, she probably made the better decision.

I never asked my third crush out. After being shot down twice in two years, I didn't want it to be three for three. I worked with her, and we got along awesome. Maybe not asking her was a fatal flaw in my life. I will never know. We have stayed friends over the years despite not seeing eachother until earlier this summer. I met up with her twice, and both times wrenched my emotions. I've since found out she is actually taken, which shot down my chance of ever knowing the true answer.

Then I finally went to college.

I went from a school of 450 kids in a town of 360 people to a dorm of 500+ kids in a college of 10,000+.

But I did not change with the scenery. I was still outspoken.

Neither of my roommates liked it.

Neither of my roommates liked me.

I was outspoken enough to write a persuasive essay on Abstinence for my college English class. I didn't see the problem.

Until the Prof said we had to read them aloud, after she had graded them.

Then I panicked. I crashed and I burned.

I felt so....little and insecure.

I wasn't one to force my thoughts on people. Yet, I just had.

Do you know how bad that feels inside?

Pretty damn bad.

One day, I got a message from a high school friend I hadn't talked to in a while. We started talking. In the end, she admitted she had a crush on me through high school and asked if we could give it a try. I was 1.5-2 hours away from home.

It was a hard juggle, but we made it work as best as somebody that'd never had a GF before much less a LDR could.

After a few months of LD dating and the start of my second year of college, a topic came up that would change the rest of my life mentally.

And something clicked in my head.

- What if this girl was 'the one'?

- What if something happened. Would I want to die a virgin?

- What if this doesn't work out. I'll always be the inexperienced one?

That last one hit me hard. There was no way around the fact. And for what I knew, I knew that being the lesser experienced would likely never be a good thing.

(10 years later, a friend put it perfectly....)

I convinced myself to break something that I had let run my life for the previous 10+ years.

I think it's safe to say that very few peoples' first time is "great". But it's a learning experience.

-learn-

-learn-

-learn-

Then we broke up after 9 months.

We rarely saw eachother, it couldn't be that difficult to get over right?

Wrong.

-sulk-

-lonely-

-stressed-

-imbalanced-

And...

-addicted-

I was broken. The fire inside of me had been lit, and nothing was putting it out.

I had a raging wildfire spreading within me within a few short weeks, and no way to control it.

I had just started a job at the school newspaper, running the website. I shared an office with the two graphic design artists. We were getting along pretty well and it was fairly evident that both of them were really relaxed and loose about what they wanted to talk about. I was the reserved one, sitting at my desk, listening with minimal contribution.

Until one day, I finally had the courage to chime in to their conversations. It didn't take much longer before I was in my second relationship.

I learned alot of new and different things during that 2.5 year relationship.

Example: telling her father about my shellfish allergy. It was good because he cooked alot of it. It was because he knew my weakness and made no secret that some things would easily justify using it against me.

I learned to get over my fear of public image. I was dating a woman almost twice my weight. When we first started...dating...I was petrified to be seen with/around her much less hold her hand. Over time that phobia subsided.

I learned that addiction comes in many forms. I spent many nights at her apartment, sometimes I went home and sometimes I didn't. Spending 4 hours a day with her at work and another 4-12 hours with her at her apartment...it got to the point that I missed her when I was away from her. I missed having her company, and I missed cuddling.

I learned that I'm very much a physical contact person. After all those years of being an only, lonely child...I wanted to give and receive physical touch.

She would print off a piece of artwork, I would lay on my stomach on her bed, and she would trace the outline onto my back, then start filling it in. That's usually when I would fall asleep. She would keep drawing as I slept, and eventually I would wake up.

As long as we were touching, I was happy. Sometimes I would lay on her, sometimes she would lay on me, sometimes we'd be side by side with a leg on the other.

I learned that calculated risks are worth calculating to the limit. And that mis-calculating is not fun.

I learned that parents are smart and figure out almost everything.

There was only one real issue and one hybrid issue with the relationship.

Both of us were mentally strained. I could not speak my emotions or feelings. I couldn't handle the 'adulting' conversations regarding the future. I couldn't explain when I was sad, mad, upset, or anxious in voice, only text. I couldn't "use my words". When scolded, I just wanted to ball up in a corner and cry. At the same time, both of our academics were on a downward spiral of death. She ended up dropping out completely and going back to junior college, I ended up changing majors twice and barely escaping with any pride left at all and a very expensive piece of paper that said "Bachelor of Science in Miscellaneous Bullshit". Okay, University Studies...but same thing.

The relationship had evolved far beyond what it had originally been intended to be.

It was supposed to be more of a cover-up for a FWB situation than an actual relationship. But we caught some sort of feelings, and....

.

.

I've been single since then.

It took a few years, but we still talk to eachother and are still friends.

But I miss the cuddles.

I miss the touching.

I miss being relaxed and falling asleep while being drawn on.

I miss...alot of things.

I had a few more crushes develop during college. Some I let go, some I got turned down on. At least none of them laughed at me. 

One of the ones that I let go...I reconnected with a couple months ago. I was going to ask her out...and I kinda did...only to find out that she was secretly in a relationship that hadn’t gone public yet. That was a pretty good kick to the twig and berries, knowing that I was just too late to the party. 

Once I learned about High Functioning Autism, alot of things made sense. I slowly learned better coping mechanisms. I learned to do more "normal" things like making eye contact.

My senior year of college, I met an awesome lady in my coding class. We got along great. She helped crack my shell. We went on walks, we played basketball, we played on pool tables, we played soccer. We sat on balconies and talked. We kind of...had a thing going. She was my only friend to attend my college graduation. We even took a picture together in my cap and gown (which I have tried many times to find. I'm guessing it was deleted....see below).

But we didn't. I wasn't allowed to hug her much less kiss her, even on the forehead (I wanted to...many times). I was barely allowed to hold her hand.

I got shot down. I felt like I was in a plane that was missing a wing and didn't have an ejection seat.

I plummeted into the ground and crashed and burned.

We stopped talking after that.

I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.

I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.

I could say that about many friends that I have lost over the years.

I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.

That was 5 or 6 years ago. I honestly don't remember anymore.

That's how long I have been lonely.

That's how long it has been since I went on a date.

That's how long I have not been able to have an unweighted conversation.

Sure, I have seen my second ex a time or three. But it's not the same. That's not a date. That's not something to lead to the future.

I have a two best friends that I can talk about almost anything with. But I never see them. One lives two states away, the other lives several hours away (any other state besides Texas, and they'd be in another state).

They help. They give me a method to vent. But I am afraid of losing them.

I have lost 3 best friends in my life already.

One cut me out of their life as a birthday present to me after 4 or 5 years, my freshman year in the dorm.

One cut me out of their life after many conflicts over 7 years. We never met in person.

One cut me out of their life after I became a burden to them. We saw eachother on a regular basis, I even stayed at their house once after they tried to break my shell and I (mentally) collapsed into a puddle of goo. They also hurt me once by calling the police for a welfare check, and my parents got involved.

Of the two best friends I have managed to keep, the closer of the two has issues in their own life going on right now. I feel guilty and sad for even talking to them...they have asked that I limit interaction while they try to straighten out their own world. They have also called the police on my for a welfare check, and got my co-workers involved.

I already had a hard time making friends before. Anymore, it's hard for me to trust anyone at all.

I don't have any friends to go places with.

I'm always working my ass off (working 7 days a week these days, haven't had a real day of rest in months).

Social Anxiety says that I can't go anywhere alone. Plus I don't really trust myself alone, much less in a foreign Environment.

How am I supposed to meet a friend, when I work my ass off 7 days a week? When I don't know what resting is?

How do I elevate a non-existent friend to "More than a friend" status?

A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you’ve never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, … At some point you begin to believe it.

When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life…..

You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.

Sometimes I wish I was Ace.

Sometimes I wish I knew what I am.

Historically, I can be described as a smart, odd, minimally sarcastic ignoramus. But that is only my personality.

Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I bi? Or am I just hopeless?

Will I ever find love? Will I ever have kids?

Is there something wrong with me that revolts women away?

Will I have to find a woman 8-10 years younger than myself and cause her to have children at a young age to avoid being the age of their peers' grandparents at graduation? If I find a woman now, we date for 3 years, engaged for 1, married for 3, then have a kid...I'll be 37 when they are born and 55 when they graduate high school.

We're the bullies in high school right all this time? I don't want them to be. But what if they are? Or am I just that broken inside?

The things that I like/enjoy...they scare me a little. And that's coming from me. For years I have said I was a sapiosexual (turned on by intelligence rather than personality or looks)...but it never occurred to me, what if the gender lines do not in-fact exist? What if....

These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

These are the questions that feed my depression.

These are the scenarios that feed my anxiety, my trust issues, my loneliness.

These are the reasons that, more than anything....I will never turn down a hug.

Because a hug means you love and care about me.

And I need that reassurance.

But it feels good on the inside, too.

[courtmurder]

  1. No Poreblem Primer – Touch in Sol Cosmetics

Touch in Sol is a Korean beauty brand – and the market loves Korean beauty right now. There’s a reason why that is, the products are always up to par – and the packaging is always aesthetically pleasing.

Primer always seems to dry on my fave before I blend all of my foundation together. Not this one! The product claims to be light and silky, and it is literally light and silky – making a super smooth base for blending. No Poreblem also is very pore covering, in comparison to usage with the Ordinary’s Hylamide serum (I’ll be talking about this product in my fall skincare favs!), without the serum 65% pore coverage, and with 98%.

With fall comes chilly weather – and dry skin. I’ve constantly dealt with flaky, dry skin around my nose in the winter, although it is not as bad as prior to a proper skin care routine, it is hard to find a primer that keeps my skin smooth for at least 8 hours. I’d say this primer does that for me.

https://www.sephora.com/ca/en/product/no-poreblem-primer-P419640?icid2=products%20grid:p419640:product

2. All Nighter Foundation – Urban Decay Cosmetics

Urban Decay, ahhhh, I can remember every girl flipping out of Naked Palettes when the brand hit it big – along with the rise of the ‘fleek’ and contour kits. It almost hurts to look back to those days and realize what a scam that 60$ kit was… when you can use any product you prefer to contour; I stick Hoola Bronzer on a light day and ABH Stick in walnut on a full face day.

I wear shade 1.5, fair bisque with a pink undertone – ginger things! This foundation is a full coverage, matte finish – and it is great for covering freckles, also steals concealers job if used properly.

I love the combination of the silky No Poreblem with UD’s liquid foundation. Together the two last a good 12 hours and have a smooth, matte, poreless, clear finish – and yes, it’s waterproof.

https://www.sephora.com/ca/en/product/all-nighter-liquid-foundation-P410548?icid2=products%20grid:p410548:product

3. Away We Glow Liquid Booster – NYX Cosmetics

The name of this product is exactly how I would describe the result of using it. I’ve been searching and searching for a chrome-like finish highlighter with a price point below $25 – and I found this baby in the clearance section at Shoppers Drug Mart for 9$ down from $21 – winning!

I purchased the shade glazed donut – and it literally is the same as the result of putting fresh glaze over a fresh honey dip donut (5 years of Tim Horton’s, I know the look). I prefer applying with my Morphe highlighting brush, then blending the sides with a mini beauty blender.

https://www.nyxcosmetics.ca/en/away-we-glow-liquid-booster/NYX_623.html

  4. Natural Matte Eyeshadow Palette – Too Faced Cosmetics

Now, the awkward part about me presenting this product as one of my favourites is that I own the version released prior to the re-brand of many of Too Faced’s products – therefore some of the names of the shadows have changed.

This palette is awesome, as a white girl… most products work well for me. I have heard that this palette appears ashy and is not very pigmented for POC (@makeupforWOC on twitter). Otherwise, all the shades blend extremely well together in terms of undertones to create moody fall looks, or light natural looks. My favourite combination is 100% lace teddy as brow bone/lid, cleavage as crease filler, and sexpert on bottom lash line as well as outer corner accent for a smokey eye.

https://www.sephora.com/ca/en/product/natural-matte-eyeshadow-palette-P429603

  5. Kush Fiber Brow Gel – Milk Makeup

ON OCTOBER 15TH, 2018, Canada will make history by legalizing marijuana. This opens up a plethora of doors for cosmetic companies to incorporate cannabis extracts into their products; and research for these companies on the benefits of these extracts for beauty and skincare products.

I use the shade ‘dutch’, as it the medium tone and I am a ginger, I wish I purchased the blonde shade ‘haze’ because my eyebrows become very dark with ‘dutch’. Other than that – I wish they would come out with a shade FOR redheads such as the ABH brow gel which is my absolute favourite.

Other than the colour, this product is great for building eyebrows. I have bushy brows and strive for the perfect look @nikkimakeup creates on her models (via instagram). I’m not sure if it is the cannabis oil that helps this, or what exactly the cannabis oil helps with, but this product gives me full brows that I seriously love.

https://www.sephora.com/ca/en/product/kush-fiber-brow-gel-P433125

  Rose Pigment – MAC Cosmetics

A friend of mine works as an artist at MAC, and brought me tons of goodies last month because he has so many duplicates of product – it including this copper shimmer rose pigment. Red is ALWAYS in for fall/holidays, so this is definitely a versatile must-have.

I LOVE REDS, anything with a red undertone or that is red or a shade of red or has red in it… I’m going to obsess over, so you know I was super excited to put this all over my face. The fun thing about pigments (all makeup, actually) is they aren’t even marketed to be used for a singular purpose unlike other products. I’ve used this product as blush, shadow, added to my lips, even used in my hair! Without a wet brush, the product is very light, fluffy, and will come off as a pink shade. With a wet brush, the product is true to the red/copper you see, and is intense in its sparkle.

https://www.maccosmetics.ca/product/13840/372/products/makeup/eyes/shadow/pigment

  Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick in ‘Ricco’ – Stila Cosmetics

So, just like the Away We Glow Booster, I found this amazing lipstick for only $7.95 at Shoppers Drug Mart, when it’s usually retailed for $30. I was searching for a new shade of the Stay All Day liquid lipstick that was deep red, so it was kind of fate that we found each other (it was the last tube even). Stila was the first brand to come out with matte liquid lipstick, and still the brand with the best formula (although I’ve heard Fenty’s liquid lip formula lasts for 12 hours…).

This colour reminded me of Pantone’s FW/18 colour trend reports Top 10 – Red Pear. Red Pear is described as a ‘deliciously deep red, whose luscious depth entices’, which is definitely what Ricco does to the lips. Sultry and sexy, this lipstick is a MUST HAVE to pair with other fall colours for the ultimate vibe. Depending on your skin tone, this colour can appear very dark or true to the image online – for me, contrast to my pale skin, it appears very dark.

https://beauty.shoppersdrugmart.ca/Luxury/Categories/Makeup/Lips/Lipstick/Stay-all-Day-Liquid-Lipstick/p/LV21?utm_campaign=P11_10242017_High-Priority&utm_medium=LD_sc&utm_source=google&utm_term=-&utm_content=c_na_Makeup-lipstick_na_na&gclid=CjwKCAjw85zdBRB6EiwAov3Rit0LuDoqTuVS437ri2oOfXS4rP_4c5S8cLn0VFi3rURWpHUO3wPN-hoCs-4QAvD_BwE&s_kwcid=AL!5271!3!293163194627!!!g!494987117752!&ef_id=Vl4gBwAABCytyFk4:20180923194154:s

  Fall Beauty Favourites 1. No Poreblem Primer - Touch in Sol Cosmetics

[fan-art-ic]

Samurai Jack Headcannons

haha yes this will be,,,,long (and sad(?))

worked at a tea brewery for a few months

accidentally went to another planet for a year

can sew (that boy goes through more robes than obi-wan kenobi)

doesnt learn how to use a gun till hes 37 (he could dissemble reassemble and shoot almost any gun within a year)

highkey pansexual but he doesnt really know theres a word jack is just fighting around noticing that oh hey that warrior alien was kind of cute and that sword polish merchant had a nice laugh and etc.

keeps in contact with that japanese family that lives in the citadel and sometimes has lunch with them if he’s in the area

jack saw his homeland in the future once. he never visits again.

has a ptsd bc jack is literally fighting a giant ass demon that he saw destroy his home at a very young age and is almost murdered daily and there are always going to be people he couldnt save

(also i think he has did bc that time he was brent and slightly possessed by aku Fucked him up but thats more personal *shrugs*)

lives in a homeless shelter here and there

cant go into graveyards anymore

tries to visits the lizard monks in the mountains at least once every few years

sometimes feels really shitty about having friends bc he has a Mission and doesnt have time for ‘distractions’

was in a band for 18 days. jack only vaguely remembers this.

he realizes while crossing the plains of what could have been called kenya that he doesnt remember what his parents faces look like anymore

tried to take a break year from trying to get back in time once. jack felt guilty and caved in one month 

is really good with technology but he tries to avoid it bc it reminds him that he’s Not Supposed To Be There

will be walking then just think ‘i am literally thousands of years old’ and will have to sit down and have a small meltdown bc w h a t t h e f u c k

tried coffee once and it did not go well

the happiest day of his life was a random day in july when he was 16 and in england, still training to defeat aku. jack doesnt remember what happened but he can still hear laughter

sometimes does small jobs as a waiter or a street sweeper so he can have the money to buy replacement robes or food (was an underground street fighter for a few weeks when jack got really low)

after he was turned back from being a chicken jack went on a small freeing-chicken fighters spree (and never eats chicken again)

is banned from roughly 5782 bars restaurants and inns

sometimes has nightmares about becoming one of demongo’s souls 

(also has nightmares about becoming aku after the aku infection incident)

can literally sleep anywhere. on a rock. in a tree. in a river. on a roof. in a box. in a trunk. on a table. in the sewers. faceplanted in food. u name it hes done it

one time featured in a fashion magazine? no one really understands how but they do know jack has great calves and can rock a crop top

also accidentally in the background of aku propaganda commercial

‘new cryptid sighting’ *fuzzy picture of jack drinking tea*

when he started forgetting what his familys crest was jack got it tattooed on the inside of his arm

the black samurai gave him a comm so jack could still teach him even tho he was leaving and jack only sends cryptid messages on alternating tuesdays before high noon like ‘be the stone’ 

when asked what it meant he shrugged and said he heard some of his teachers say stuff like that and jack never really understood what it meant either

is pre-emptively made the godfather if the scotsman ever has any kids

passes out from exhaustion roughly once every 1.5 weeks

was really gullible when he was younger but quickly becomes very skeptical and suspicious of everything and everyone

eventually forgets his birth name

prevented a war by going on a date

occasionally has companions but none last more than a few months

had a Really Bad brain week after ikra

tried to out-drink the scotsman once and Regretted it

secretly loves capes but understands their impracticality so *shrugs*

stayed with the other captives from the dome of doom for a few weeks trying to help them heal and re-adjust while ignoring his own shit that needed dealt with and promptly had a breakdown once he left them

any organic bounty hunter thats run across jack before always gives him a nod of respect and then has a drink in the corner closest to the door 

needs a future stephen hawking level kind of statistics guy to determine how many times hes almost died

tried the aku-net once. it lead to a blog that accidently started a small revolution and led to the burning of a few villages and a rebellion in the citadel that lasted a few days. jack deleted his blog and promptly vanished from the aku-net. this all happened in two weeks

[originalseandavis]

Winning hearts and minds. What they don’t tell you when you’re training is that you can’t do a combat mission without tripping on five or six kids.

I appreciate you thanking me for my service, but this Veterans’ Day, I ask you for your support in helping rural America by giving struggling veterans purpose and identity.

After a military career that included multiple deployments overseas, I’m using the skills I learned from rebuilding war torn nations in my own neighborhood in rural Oregon. While there are no active opposing military forces in towns around where I live, there are major problems to the infrastructure that include problems accessing basic necessities like water and sewage contamination. Families live in abject poverty because a lack of living wage jobs. 

I moved back to McKenzie Bridge two years ago and I work as a community organizer. It’s a job that means, to me, nation building. Instead of doing this in Haiti or Iraq like I had in the military, I’m doing it where I grew up, where I live now. And just like I did in Iraq I go to council meetings with the village elders. Of course here in the rural America the elders are, many times, better armed than in war torn countries, but none have shot at me so far. 

I’ve joined the Chamber of Commerce, our local Community Development Corporation, our school charter board, the Upper McKenzie Community Center board, and the local track board. These board members are the community leaders and the problems they are trying to solve are very similar to what I saw on my deployments. 

Type the words  “rural areas hit hardest” into a search engine and you’ll find some of the biggest problems we have. Opioid and meth addiction, obesity, heart disease, stroke, cancer, Chronic lower respiratory disease, and unintentional injury, are all significantly higher in rural America. Medical centers, grocery stores, mental health facilities, and other organizations that provide basic needs have been closing down and leaving in the past ten years or never existed outside the cities and the suburbs. 

The first thing you do when stabilizing a war-torn nation is to provide the population with a reasonable expectation of safety. In the military we had all types of weaponry and we patrolled, sometimes from door to door looking for bad actors. Here, in my hometown, it takes two hours to get a county sheriff to respond to anything that doesn’t involve a death. We know who the drug dealers are and even if they are reported and arrested the overworked and understaffed District Attorney’s office lets them go in a day or two.  

Pipe Rupture with crude oil in ditch. 

The next thing you look at is infrastructure. In Blue River, the next town downriver from where I live, and the town that I work in, the septic system is decades past its lifespan. The current septic systems were placed back in the 1950s when the town was built up to get ready for the jobs that would be created by the Army Corps building the three dams on the river. Some of the septic “tanks” were car bodies turned upside down. Last winter, at the peak of the coldest weather, a snow storm caused the electricity to go out. This blackout lasted three weeks for many residents. No power means no heat, no pump which means no running water, no electricity, no phones or communication of any kind. Could you live like that for three weeks? When I was deployed to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, we saw people killing each other over food and water they found at convenience stores after a week of no electricity. 

In Iraq, we’d offer jobs to subsidize incomes. In Iraq, US Forces rebuilt. We did our best to win hearts and minds. We protected the masses. At least once a week I try to imagine what my rural town would look like if a portion of the time and resources we spent in that country was spent on our country. In Iraq, we had money we’d give to the Imams and community leaders. Here, we apply for grants, so we’ve been writing many of them, but they take so long and there is so much competition.  

Sean and Congressman Peter DeFazio

Six years ago, I worked with a few of our state legislators on the Veterans Lottery Bill. We asked for five percent of the lottery funds to go to veterans issues. After a few years of spreading the word and talking to lawmakers and state organizations, we were able to get the bill on the ballot, but it only gave 1.5 percent of the lottery funds to veterans issues, still not bad. The bill passed with enthusiasm. Nearly 80 percent of the people who voted, voted yes on this bill. We had to fight other organizations who relied on the lottery funds in order to get it. Groups with deep pockets and lobbyists, groups like the Oregon Education Association for one. I remember the way we finally got the bill through. The head of the Oregon Department of Veteran Affairs told the committee during testimony that every one dollar the state spends on veterans’ issues, we would get ten federal dollars in return. 

How is that, you ask? We would use the lottery funds on training and hiring new VSOs, or Veteran Services Officers. And these VSOs would work with veterans coming back from war to get them a disability percentage from the VA. They proved the point that the state-funded investment of a new VSO’s salary would be well worth it because that VSO would help so many combat veterans get federal disability checks, and all of that money would be injected into the state economy. I was glad the bill was finally going to get passed, happy that we were finally going to get some much needed VSOs, and ecstatic present and future veterans would get the help they needed. But I was also upset that the whole thing seemed to be betting on our veterans’ disabilities rather than our capabilities. 

When we spoke to people about the bill to try to get enthusiasm and support, we had told them that we were going to use some of the lottery funds to give loans to veteran owned businesses or grants to nonprofit organizations for projects that would benefit veterans. They did some of this the first year they received the funds, but since the Oregon Department of Veterans Affairs has no loan coordinator or any staff that can track the loans or make sure the money was used for what the loan or grant said it would be used for, they haven’t done it since. I know because I called the ODVA just a few days ago and spoke to them about it. 

For ten years after getting out of the military I worked with combat veterans and their family members. I volunteered as the commander of a small American Legion post in Portland and found dozens of jobs and homes for veterans in the city. I lead workshops on how to use writing to live with our trauma, started a food pantry, even held a town hall for Congressman Blumenauer. My work led to me winning the Legionnaire of the Year Award and the Emily Gottfried Human Rights Award from Portland. I was even knighted by the Royal Rosarians. 

Sean won the 2016 Human Rights Emerging Leader Award from the City of Portland

Sean and Congressman Earl Blumenauer

I say this because I want you to believe me when I say I know how many veterans are sitting at home, right now, living off disability checks. They may be surviving off these checks, but many have no purpose, no identity, not compared to what they had in the military. Without a clear mission and without the ability to be someone who matters in this world, many veterans choose suicide. 

What if we solved a problem with a problem? Could we possibly use some of the Veteran Lottery Bill funds to help our veterans use their experience and nation building skills to help rebuild rural America?  

I know we can and here’s why. Three years ago during a snowstorm in Portland a man froze on the streets. A week later a woman died of exposure in a parking garage downtown. The week after that a baby died at the breast of her homeless mother behind a dumpster of a Fred Meyers. I decided to turn our American Legion post into a homeless shelter immediately after reading this story in the paper one morning. With a coffee maker, a crockpot, and a few cans of soup I unlocked the doors of the post. I rolled out a white board that announced we were now a 24/7 warming shelter. I naively thought I could do this by myself, but once I contacted the county and told them what I was doing, we instantly had twenty homeless people. There was such a need that as soon as I said we were ready they were sent, many by taxi voucher. 

Before the second night we had thirty homeless people and it grew each night after. The American Legion members who were combat veterans showed up and did more than I could have ever expected. Many of these guys were the ones staying home, collecting their disability checks, playing video games, and smoking pot all day. But once the shelter opened it was as if a switch was flipped. These men and women went on continuous operations and we dealt with problems we didn’t know existed. We had mental health issues, drug addiction, prostitution, death threats, and once someone pulled a knife. The combat veterans handled it all. 

In fact, the veterans organized clothing and food drives with local residents and organizations. They received so much that they were able to send clothes and food to county and city-run shelters with annual budgets and salaried employees but were still in need. We drove to homeless camps around the city and gave out water, food, clothes, and blankets. Governor Ted Kulongoski dropped off clothes and gave the coat off his back to one of the people in our shelter. The mayor of Portland came to see what we were doing. For those weeks, until the snow stopped, we were one of the most successful shelters in the state of Oregon, but after it was over, the veterans went back on their couches, drank beer, played video games. 

Here in rural Oregon, on the Mckenzie River, the Leaburg Hatchery was slated to be shuttered. Knowing this would hamstring the economy of the nine unincorporated communities, another combat veteran and I were given the opportunity to fight this. We used the skills we learned in the military and helped organize and create a movement to fight the closure. It took all legislative session, many trips to Salem, and help from our community members, but we saved the hatchery and today it’s fully funded.

We are simultaneously losing rural America, the soul of our country, and wasting the one incredible and unique resources that can actually help solve the problem.

The hard-to-learn skills and experience a veteran gets from combat is the only positive war will offer. If we can give combat veterans the tools they need to help rebuild their own country, this will give them purpose and identity again. It could help them make some sort of sense of the trauma they went through and have to live with for the rest of their lives. At the same time, we can rebuild the small towns that make up Americana that are now rotting away and drying up. People thank me for my service when they hear I’m a veteran. Let me continue to serve, let us all continue to serve. By investing in our veterans and giving them meaningful role in their communities you will assuredly cut the veteran suicide numbers and rebuild rural America. I know this to be true because we’re doing it.  

    Veterans’ Day 2019 I appreciate you thanking me for my service, but this Veterans' Day, I ask you for your support in helping rural America by giving struggling veterans purpose and identity.

[courtneytincher]

1 week after Dorian struck, controversies erupt in Bahamas as death toll mounts

As Bahamian officials continue to sort through the widespread destruction, confusion and uncertainty has been rampant during much of the initial recovery process.While the death toll has slowly ticked upwards, residents, reporters and officials recognize that the final number will be far more staggering than what is being currently reported. As of Monday morning, the official tally is at 44 fatalities. By eyewitness accounts, the total will be hundreds, if not thousands.While some have questioned the government's truthfulness in the current death toll reports, Duane Sands, the Bahamas' minister of health, told the Miami Herald that calculating the fatality total isn't currently a higher priority than helping survivors get back on their feet. A Bahamas coroners team carries a body out of The Mudd neighborhood in the Marsh Harbor area of Abaco, Bahamas, in the aftermath of Hurricane Dorian, Monday, Sept. 9, 2019. Dorian, the most powerful hurricane in the northwestern Bahamas' recorded history, has killed at least 44 people in Bahamas as of Sunday, Sept. 8, according to the government. (AP Photo/Fernando Llano) "I am actually a bit concerned that the focus has been for some people the body count," Sands told the Herald. "It is not the priority. The priority is find those people for their loved ones who are missing them... To put food in people's bellies, water in their throat."Sands added that officials have heard all the estimates and noted the large amount of missing people."We have to prepare for whatever inevitability and so whether it's 1,000, or 2,000, or 500 body bags, we need to have the ability to make sure that every single remain can be treated with dignity and managed appropriately," he said. "We are talking about a massive, multi-island operation."On Friday, the financial services ministry of the Bahamas called the situation a "humanitarian crisis" in a statement. Assistance has trickled in from all over the world, as countries have pledged financial support.Raveesh Kumar, the spokesperson for India's Ministry of External Affairs, wrote on Twitter that the country is "extending an immediate disaster relief of $1 million."The United States Coast Guard has been among the many government and private agencies working to help coordinate rescue and relief efforts on the islands. More than 300 people have been rescued by the Coast Guard since the rescue efforts began.On Sunday, controversy arose when over 100 Bahamians were forced to disembark from a rescue ferry traveling to Florida. According to a video posted on social media by WSVN reporter Brian Estin, an announcement was made over the ferry's loudspeaker that any traveler without a visa would be forced to disembark.The U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) denied responsibility on Monday for the stranded hurricane victims."It breaks my heart because it's like when you raise somebody's hopes and then you pop the balloon," CBP Florida spokesman Michael Silva said. "It raised the expectations of these poor people who have been through an unimaginable situation with the hurricane."According to Silva, the CBP of Florida is doing everything it can to support those who arrive to the state. In Entin's video posted on Twitter, a woman says that they were originally told a visa and police record weren't needed to enter the U.S."I think this is terrible," the woman said. "Now they've taken that back and that's really ridiculous... they said 130 people had to come off."> That's it. We're leaving - all Bahamian evacuees without a visa taken off. The Bahamians who remain are in shock. No one understands why the rule was changed at the last minute. The parents and kids now stuck on the island. pic.twitter.com/Jvd3D6MTZW> > -- Brian Entin (@BrianEntin) September 9, 2019Hundreds of people at Abaco island's Marsh Harbour still await aid from boats and harbor their own hopes of leaving the area. Yachts and private boats were being used to help evacuate people, while Dorval Darlier, a Haitian diplomat, urged the crowd to let women, children and the sick be evacuated before men, according to the Associated Press.Avery Parotti, a 19-year-old bartender, told the AP that her home was destroyed during the storm."There's nothing left here. There are no jobs," she said.In the city of Freeport, an animal shelter saw about 270 cats and dogs killed during the storm, according to an employee at the Humane Society of Grand Bahama. Tip Burrows, the executive director of the Humane Society, told CGNT that they have never seen such destruction on the island."My heart is broken for the sheltered animals that we lost," Burrows said. "I feel so bad for the people who entrusted their animals to us and ultimately we couldn't protect them."?Elsewhere on the island of Grand Bahama, an oil spill triggered by Dorian spewed crude oil over the ground as heavy winds knocked the tops off of five storage tanks belonging to the Norwegian company Equinor ASA."According to the information we have right now, the roofs of five tanks are gone," the company said in a statement. "We do not know if they are being carried away by the winds or fallen in the tanks."There were no staff members on the grounds because the company shut down operations in advance of the storm. In the statement, Equinor added that the recovery efforts have been made more difficult by damage dealt to the infrastructure.AccuWeather National Weather Reporter Jonathan Petramala was at the scene and said the black oil splattered around was a terrible contrast for an environment that was so beautiful before Dorian arrived.Petramala spoke to a local guide named Cranston Mcdonald, who said the oil spill was something "I've never seen in the Bahamas.""It takes it to another level of what the hurricane has done," Mcdonald said.On Sunday, the company pledged to clean up any spilled oil and said that security personnel were at the company site identifying hazards.The United Nations and other aid organizations have begun to respond to massive need for assistance. On Sunday, nearly 1.5 tons of supplies that will provide drinkable water arrived to islands, which UNICEF approximates will assist people for two weeks. Youssouf Abdel-Jelil, the UNICEF Deputy Regional Director for Latin America and the Caribbean, emphasized the dire need for safe water in helping families who survived the storm now survive the recovery."Almost five days after the hurricane struck, safe drinking water is now the most urgent and valuable lifesaving item, especially for mothers and children," Abdel-Jelil told the U.N. "Damaged infrastructure makes the delivery of humanitarian aid extremely challenging. The most vulnerable families, especially children, are likely to be the hardest to reach."

from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines

As Bahamian officials continue to sort through the widespread destruction, confusion and uncertainty has been rampant during much of the initial recovery process.While the death toll has slowly ticked upwards, residents, reporters and officials recognize that the final number will be far more staggering than what is being currently reported. As of Monday morning, the official tally is at 44 fatalities. By eyewitness accounts, the total will be hundreds, if not thousands.While some have questioned the government's truthfulness in the current death toll reports, Duane Sands, the Bahamas' minister of health, told the Miami Herald that calculating the fatality total isn't currently a higher priority than helping survivors get back on their feet. A Bahamas coroners team carries a body out of The Mudd neighborhood in the Marsh Harbor area of Abaco, Bahamas, in the aftermath of Hurricane Dorian, Monday, Sept. 9, 2019. Dorian, the most powerful hurricane in the northwestern Bahamas' recorded history, has killed at least 44 people in Bahamas as of Sunday, Sept. 8, according to the government. (AP Photo/Fernando Llano) "I am actually a bit concerned that the focus has been for some people the body count," Sands told the Herald. "It is not the priority. The priority is find those people for their loved ones who are missing them... To put food in people's bellies, water in their throat."Sands added that officials have heard all the estimates and noted the large amount of missing people."We have to prepare for whatever inevitability and so whether it's 1,000, or 2,000, or 500 body bags, we need to have the ability to make sure that every single remain can be treated with dignity and managed appropriately," he said. "We are talking about a massive, multi-island operation."On Friday, the financial services ministry of the Bahamas called the situation a "humanitarian crisis" in a statement. Assistance has trickled in from all over the world, as countries have pledged financial support.Raveesh Kumar, the spokesperson for India's Ministry of External Affairs, wrote on Twitter that the country is "extending an immediate disaster relief of $1 million."The United States Coast Guard has been among the many government and private agencies working to help coordinate rescue and relief efforts on the islands. More than 300 people have been rescued by the Coast Guard since the rescue efforts began.On Sunday, controversy arose when over 100 Bahamians were forced to disembark from a rescue ferry traveling to Florida. According to a video posted on social media by WSVN reporter Brian Estin, an announcement was made over the ferry's loudspeaker that any traveler without a visa would be forced to disembark.The U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) denied responsibility on Monday for the stranded hurricane victims."It breaks my heart because it's like when you raise somebody's hopes and then you pop the balloon," CBP Florida spokesman Michael Silva said. "It raised the expectations of these poor people who have been through an unimaginable situation with the hurricane."According to Silva, the CBP of Florida is doing everything it can to support those who arrive to the state. In Entin's video posted on Twitter, a woman says that they were originally told a visa and police record weren't needed to enter the U.S."I think this is terrible," the woman said. "Now they've taken that back and that's really ridiculous... they said 130 people had to come off."> That's it. We're leaving - all Bahamian evacuees without a visa taken off. The Bahamians who remain are in shock. No one understands why the rule was changed at the last minute. The parents and kids now stuck on the island. pic.twitter.com/Jvd3D6MTZW> > -- Brian Entin (@BrianEntin) September 9, 2019Hundreds of people at Abaco island's Marsh Harbour still await aid from boats and harbor their own hopes of leaving the area. Yachts and private boats were being used to help evacuate people, while Dorval Darlier, a Haitian diplomat, urged the crowd to let women, children and the sick be evacuated before men, according to the Associated Press.Avery Parotti, a 19-year-old bartender, told the AP that her home was destroyed during the storm."There's nothing left here. There are no jobs," she said.In the city of Freeport, an animal shelter saw about 270 cats and dogs killed during the storm, according to an employee at the Humane Society of Grand Bahama. Tip Burrows, the executive director of the Humane Society, told CGNT that they have never seen such destruction on the island."My heart is broken for the sheltered animals that we lost," Burrows said. "I feel so bad for the people who entrusted their animals to us and ultimately we couldn't protect them."?Elsewhere on the island of Grand Bahama, an oil spill triggered by Dorian spewed crude oil over the ground as heavy winds knocked the tops off of five storage tanks belonging to the Norwegian company Equinor ASA."According to the information we have right now, the roofs of five tanks are gone," the company said in a statement. "We do not know if they are being carried away by the winds or fallen in the tanks."There were no staff members on the grounds because the company shut down operations in advance of the storm. In the statement, Equinor added that the recovery efforts have been made more difficult by damage dealt to the infrastructure.AccuWeather National Weather Reporter Jonathan Petramala was at the scene and said the black oil splattered around was a terrible contrast for an environment that was so beautiful before Dorian arrived.Petramala spoke to a local guide named Cranston Mcdonald, who said the oil spill was something "I've never seen in the Bahamas.""It takes it to another level of what the hurricane has done," Mcdonald said.On Sunday, the company pledged to clean up any spilled oil and said that security personnel were at the company site identifying hazards.The United Nations and other aid organizations have begun to respond to massive need for assistance. On Sunday, nearly 1.5 tons of supplies that will provide drinkable water arrived to islands, which UNICEF approximates will assist people for two weeks. Youssouf Abdel-Jelil, the UNICEF Deputy Regional Director for Latin America and the Caribbean, emphasized the dire need for safe water in helping families who survived the storm now survive the recovery."Almost five days after the hurricane struck, safe drinking water is now the most urgent and valuable lifesaving item, especially for mothers and children," Abdel-Jelil told the U.N. "Damaged infrastructure makes the delivery of humanitarian aid extremely challenging. The most vulnerable families, especially children, are likely to be the hardest to reach."

September 09, 2019 at 07:29PM via IFTTT

[investmentsattorneys-com]

Jason Kurland Lottery Lawyer

Toni toné show it's Wednesday and that means tonight everybody well seemingly everybody's going to be watching the Powerball because it's 1.5 billion dollars now a few things happen uh if you if you find yourself with a winning ticket and there's some things you should know about and right now on the phone jason Curlin he's a he's an attorney that deals with a lot of lottery winners Jason I want to know at first have you bought a ticket for tonight I did buy one ticket okay I might as well share the dream thanks for taking the time this morning I appreciate it so you at you Jason you you've dealt with this a lot people all of a sudden go from a normal day life they win millions of dollars what's the first thing that whoever wins tonight needs to know first thing you need to do is double triple check your ticket okay this is there's a viral video going out around out there that you know a group of people New Jersey thought they won but they were looking at Wednesday's ticket number which was uh you know and it's not unique it's happened a couple times so double triple check your ticket next thing you need to do is you need to sign the back of it right so these lottery tickets are bare instruments which means whoever hands it to the lottery commission is the winner okay so god forbid you lose it and you didn't sign the back you know it's gone so sign the back and then the most important thing you do is stay quiet right home don't go around don't go to Facebook don't go to your friends don't go to you know tell your media family members and that's it and then you call us you know then you then you establish a team of professionals and and get your ducks in a row so Jason why so people that are listening right now you would advise them to not take part in an office pool like everybody's getting together they're thrown in some money they're gonna go buy tickets why should they avoid that looks very hard to avoid right someone comes to you you know and says you know put two dollars in an office pool the last thing you want to do is be the only person who didn't put it in and then they went so I understand putting it in you know unless you're looking for a job promotion when everybody else leaves you have to put it in just to eliminate that fear but they end up being nightmares you know if it's not done if they're not done correctly then you know you're asking for a big dispute you know what you have to do is you have to make copies of all the tickets in the in the pool sent out to an email to everybody in the in the pool saying these are numbers these are uh these are the people in the group you know that protects the person buying the ticket because if someone buys a couple of tickets on their own and happens to win one of those nobody's going to believe that that's the you know they bought it in you know it wasn't the pools ticket that won over the individuals will protect them and it protects the pool oh man I I guess I'm glad there's a lot to thing it is a lot right so at the radio station we really haven't done this and I'm okay with that and personally I haven't even bought tickets yet but I do Jason of course I think I'm going to win tonight so I'll probably be calling nobody calling you tomorrow so I think that in the state of Iowa where we're at you don't have to go public when you win but even if you're in a state where Jason it requires you to go public could you claim it through a trust or something so that people don't know it's you or what every state is different so some states it's very difficult to to remain anonymous even through trust you know they'll let you claim it in a trust but then you know that they'll they'll publicize your name but I still advise doing those trusts because even if your name is out there for the first day or two if you claim it in the trust especially if it's a creative name of a trust then the press will sort of pick up on that and then anyone looks in the you know for past winners the name of the trust will come up so it helps a little bit but there are some if there are some states where it's impossible to keep your name out so if somebody does win tonight Jason your website is the lottery lawyer.com right correct okay so you're ready to go with if this happened so so how did this like because I imagine the the first family or individual that you represented that one how did you got it to come to be that you were involved with them if I mean I don't need all the details but you know it was by chance it was it was somebody who one who knew a client of mine and you know they were they they didn't know what to do they were scared and he said listen I don't know if you know Jason does those lottery stuff but you know I trust them immensely want to go to him so you know we represented that group of winners then somebody else won a huge amount after that remembered us from from the first one so they called us from that then we uh then we started promoting it and then through the promotions we've gotten you know tons of runners we've seen tons of lottery issues and and things so we've have sort of become specialized in it you know like anything else that's how it happens it makes sense and I don't know if you can answer this or if you want to and I'm not trying to be rude but you know a lot of these people that win the lottery they don't manage their wealth so so well and they go bankrupt so the people that you've helped are they are they doing okay I don't know what you can say or not say but ya know luckily my clients are doing fine uh you know the fact that they hired not just me but a professional you know show that there they were doing it the right way so it's either the people it's people that go to the press conference the next day you know parading your family around you know telling everybody they've won those are the people that are in danger of squandering it but the ones who do it right go to our website figure out what to do hire professionals those people are usually fine I saw in the news like over the past week or two lady who had one hundred and eighty eight million dollars she spent twelve million on twelve million dollars bailing her boyfriend out of jail so that that's an example of something that you would not want to waste your money not I bet depends on what you love your boyfriend uh it's not bad money spending out of jail ya know it's uh you know those are the kind of people that could be in shock could be in trouble Jason in your professional opinion uh lump sum or take the payments for tonight's Powerball I like the lump sum you know if you want your money to grow quicker at a better better patient and and larger you'll do better investing on your own then you will you know with with the set payments from the annuity however if you know I meet a winner I say you know I don't trust these people to have five hundred million dollars they're much better off with the annuity then that's one thing but in general you'll do better with the with the lump sum okay and it's a lot of money that lump sum I mean you know it's uh and it's a bouquet it's it's kind of confusing because Mark Cuban yesterday or the day before his advice and take it or leave it is he would he would recommend taking the payments because he said nobody needs you know nine hundred million dollars or whatever all once but I think what you're saying is to counter that is if you put the right people in place that can help you and that aren't out to get you you know then it you'll be okay and I right I mean do you think Donald Trump is is putting you know nine hundred dollars you giving it to the lottery and say you know what why don't you just pay me over thirty years now he's not doing that so II tell you I'd rather be in control of it put yourself in control of it well you're a professional it seems like it makes sense and you're not that relative that's like hey I got this great idea we're going to get into the to the you know insert this business all I need is twenty million dollars because I'm I'm assuming that whoever again wins tonight they're gonna get a lot of those phone calls you you would probably also Jason recommend that people change their phone number right yeah change everything go to you know eliminate your Facebook page if you have one you know shut down social media uh change your phone number you know start looking to move if unless you you know love where you live you start making it hard for people to find you so you would not advise Jason taking a selfie with the winning ticket only if you're keeping in a safe place not showing anybody else all right I don't want to know what tickets are what numbers you played tonight but it would be certainly ironic if you if you hit it big because uh you know you at least you would know what to do and you wouldn't squander it I just hope that I'm not counting on it right I just hope that there's you know a few winners last Saturday we had a million dollar ticket was sold in the state of Iowa so it's nice that it's uh that it's spread out because and I don't mean this to be rude but it always seems like when these jackpots get so large it's like a sweet 80 year old lady on the East Coast that hits it it's never in the Midwest right it's never in the Midwest you know there's probably more tickets purchase all right well if if I do indeed so would you okay let me ask you one last question so if I do win tonight do I play it cool and show up to work tomorrow or what uh yeah why not okay if you could handle yourself right and not tell anybody and exactly you're going about your business yeah go to work and then you know and then meet with us in the afternoon there you go Jason Curlin the lottery lawyer calm if you hit it big tonight go to that website we'll take care of you thank you for the time this morning man I appreciate it take care guys good luck tonight on the Powerball 1.5 billion dollars seriously if you hit it this as taking care of families that have one 254 million he also represented somebody in Rhode Island that one 336 million dollars so he definitely knows what he's talking about 858 advantage sound and by the way the Powerball number is going to be him see

https://youtu.be/Wr8ONH5Juuw

[camouflagekiss]

forty-five

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? Most definitely.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yes.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I don't think that I ever had a favorite.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? Kind of?

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? I have no idea.

Best field trip experience? I loved them all, really.

Have you ever been to New York City? A few times.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be? No, I am not a city girl.

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? Not too much.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Not really.

What’s your worst traveling experience? Okay, so...I went to Puerto Rico with my brother on a trip for their company and on the way home we have a connecting flight from Philidelphia to NH...Well we got to Philly but our other flight was cancelled. So there a group of us (at least 40+) And we're trying how to figure out how to get us all back home. So they company paid to have a coach bus drive us through the night back to NH. So it was a 5+ hour plane right, then an 8 hour bus ride to the airport here in NH then another 1.5 hour drive home. It was terrible!

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? I've never played any of them.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Neither.

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? I never really gave teachers a hard time.

Best muffin you’ve ever had? I have no idea.

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? Yes, in junior high.

If so, was it required? In 7th ant 8th grade we had to take VEX classes. It was broken up into three sections each year and we didn't really get to pick, they assigned them to us, but I actually liked that class. I still have the sign I made.

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Entirely too much.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? .

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It's nice, but not that important.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? I don't think that I've ever seen anything strange in my yard.

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? I mean...I don't really know. I guess, because I certainly believe in bad luck.

How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? It depends.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? It depends on the person.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? Most likely in college.

How reliable is your internet connection? Usually good.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? Probably.

What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? People watching me.

What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? All night.

If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? I do have glasses.

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? I use them when I need them and I don't mind them.

How many vegetarians do you know? I have no idea.

Have you ever considered going to art school? Meh.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? .

What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? The one when I was really little that was followed by a tornado.

How quickly can you write an essay? I guess it depends if I have to do a lot of research. It usually takes awhile.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager? It's just my dad, uncle and I.

Favorite episode of Spongebob? I don't have one.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? I'm sure I do.

What bug frightens you most? They're just gross.

Are your parents supportive of you? Very.

How often do you take the train to go places? Never.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? Sometimes.

Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? In high school I believe.

Do you hate your weight? Yes.

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? Yes.

Do you prefer listening to music or watching movies while you blog? Either or.

Serious question, peanut butter or Nutella? It depends what I'm eating.

Have you ever stepped on a snail? Nope.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed.

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? Yes.

Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? Only the Brave, last night actually. So good.

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? Nah. I would rather drive.

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend.

Do you like breadsticks? Yes.

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? That depends on if I'm cold or not.

What state were you born in? New Hampshire.

Have you ever had a nose bleed? Never.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? 10-15 minutes.

Do you have a weak stomach? Mehh, not really.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes.

Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? I don't know.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? Yes.

What is so appealing about ‘Twilight’? I'm not sure.

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? No.

Do you *really* like donuts? I like them all right.

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? I've never been.

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? No.

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Clothes.

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? Honestly, I'm fairly certain we'll never talk again.

What do you usually order on a pizza? Just cheese or pinapple

Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? .

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy, for sure.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 27.

What color are your underwear? Blue.

Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? Yes.

What is the average number of customers that stop by where you work? Nobody stops by unless they're paying a bill which is rare.

Do you know exactly what a physician is? Would you ever want to be one? I do. No.

What are your methods to remind yourself of something important? Making a list.

What are your opinions on fake sugar? Do you use it? Why or why not? I use real sugar. I don't care.

Would you ever want to study sociology? Why or why not? No. It isn't interesting to me.

If you had to have a porch for your house, what colour would it be? Brown?

What makes a person physically beautiful to you? I don't really know how to answer that beacuse I don't know what I'm necessarily attracted to.

Would you miss winter if it never came back? Why or why not? I mean I guess I would miss it some. Winter is by far my least favorite season because it's always so dark and I hate being cold.

Do you notice a pattern with people who were born as the middle child? I've never really paid that much attention to the traits of a middle child.

Did you ever play around a hydrant when you were younger? Probably, I grew up around the fire service.

Does bad weather ruin your day? Why or why not? It can definitely throw my mood off, but I guess it all depends.

What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I just never wanted to be one.

When you read 'bass’ just now, was it read like the fish or the instrument? Fish.

If you wear them, what is the average length of skirts you wear? Usually above the knee, but I do have a maxi.

Do you spell it like 'cheque’ or 'check’? Also, do you even use them? Check, yes.

What would you like a pint of right now? It could be anything. I'm not thirsty.

What is one thing that the Titanic has taught you? THE DOOR WAS BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, ROSE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. But really, like, don't be so arrogant to believe that you are indestructable. Anything can be destroyed. ^^I like her answer.

Are you avoiding correspondence with anyone you actually like? If so, why? Yes, because it wouldn't matter what I said, it wouldn't change anything.

Do you think snowboarding is as easy as it looks? Nope.

Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Uh, all of them...?

When I say fender, you say… Bender.

If the opposite sex wore a lot of jewelry, what would be your impression? No, that would be weird.

When I say cricket, do you picture the insect or the sport first? Insect.

If you were ever to be famous, how would you want your signature to look? In bunker gear, hahaha.

What are two things you usually do with ice? Put it in a drink.

Was there ever a workshop in your middle school? If so, what were they? No.

What do you think of people who can tie cherry stems with their tongues? I've done it before.

Speaking of tongues, did you ever consider getting your tongue pierced? Not seriously.

If you had to only use either shampoo or conditioner, which would it be? Shampoo.

What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? It depends on the book.

Does your mouse have a cord? Which do you prefer, cord or cordless? No, I prefer wireless....except for the fact that I'm always misplacing it.

[flauntpage]

Meet the Man Who's Just Run an Ultra Marathon on All Seven Continents

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports UK.

"My background isn't as a runner," explains Joel Runyon, the founder of Impossible X. In fact, the Illinois native readily admits: "I don't like running so much."

Though not unusual among the general population, this is a curious statement from someone who earlier this year ran four ultra marathons in the space of six weeks to complete a total of seven ultras on all seven continents.

"I don't love running as much as what running gives me from the mental aspect," Joel told VICE Sports in June, not long after completing his 777 challenge. "It forces you to be out there on your own and decide if you're going to keep going or if you're going to quit, because there's points where everybody wants to quit."

Joel completing ultra number five of seven, in Thailand

Unsurprisingly, his journey to this unique juncture was not straightforward. It began with an unemployed college graduate living in his parents' basement.

"I graduated school in 2009 and I couldn't get a job," Joel explains. "I ended up working at a postal delivery service for three months around Christmas. I was in a pretty bad mental space. I wanted to start a business, to travel the world – all these different things – and I couldn't do any of them because I had no money; I was living in my parents' basement and nothing was really going right.

"I looked at the things I'd wanted to do and one of them was a triathlon. But I didn't know anything about triathlons – I didn't know which three sports were in a triathlon!

"So I decided to do an indoor triathlon where you swim for 10 minutes, bike for 30 and run for 20. It's not even an actual triathlon – it's about as low-level as I could get.

READ MORE: Run For Your Life – The Catharsis and Conflict of Ultrarunning

"But when I did it, I distinctly remember having this feeling. I'd thought this was impossible, but then I'd trained and managed to do it. So, what else was out there that might seem impossible but, if you went after it, you might be able to do?"

From very humble beginnings, Joel's competitive endeavours began to escalate. He ran more triathlons, graduated to running Olympic distance, and progressed up to a half Ironman. "I realised then that I'd tricked myself into running," he says.

In 2012 Pencils of Promise – a New York-based non-profit – reached out to Joel and challenged him to run an ultra marathon in support of their organisation, which builds schools and provides educational programming in the developing world.

"As soon as that seed got planted I just had to do it, so back in 2012 I ran my first ultra and we ended up raising about $27,000 for charity," Joel recalls.

Joel on a recent visit to a Pencils of Promise school in Laos

"After doing that we got to go to Guatemala and see the school we'd built and meet the kids. I thought: 'How can we take this to another level and do something that actually seems physically impossible to me?'

"So I decided that the next project I would do was 777. I kept finding out about these ridiculous cool ultras across the world, so we picked out seven on seven different continents and just decided to go after it. That's how I got to wanting to do the project."

And so 777 was born, the full project name referring to the fact that the money raised from running seven ultras on seven continents would be put towards building seven schools with Pencils of Promise.

Unsurprisingly, given the scale of the undertaking, this would prove to be far from simple.

Ultra #1 – September 2014 – Patagonia International Marathon (South America) Joel's first ultra took him to Patagonia, a region in South America that encompasses southern parts of both Argentina and Chile. The race itself takes place on the Chilean side, in Torres del Paine National Park. If Joel had been hoping for a smooth take-off for the project, he was out of luck.

"I was 26 miles into a 40-mile race. I was coming around a curve and there were 25mph winds, which shifted and blew me across the road," he recalls. "I ended up coming down this hill way off balance and rolling my ankle pretty badly. But at the time I thought: 'Okay, it's just a little messed up.' So I ran-slash-hobbled the last 13 or 14 miles on it and thought I'd be okay…

Joel in Patagonia, possibly run-slash-hobbling post-ankle injury

"When I went to the doctor they said I'd torn my peroneal tendon pretty bad – it's the tendon that goes from your toe to your knee – so I had to do six months of rehab after the first race!

"It was just one of those things; I'd done all this work to announce it, to get ready for the first race and have everything planned, and then immediately had to change everything."

Ultra #2 – October 2016 – Chicago Ultra 50k (North America) The project was put on hold while Joel went through six months of rehab and dealt with some challenges affecting his businesses (which he has explained in more detail by way of video and blog post).

Some might have suspected the 777 project was dead in the water, but after a long period lying dormant it started up again without warning.

Joel in Chicago

"We lined up the races and knocked them out in like five months. It was pretty quick once we decided to go after it," says Joel, who was targeting completing all seven before he turned 30. The first was Chicago.

"It was kind of a race to figure out if I could still do this. I didn't tell anybody I was going to do it, I just showed up with my brother. It was a race for my confidence levels, to say: 'Hey, even if this is really tough you can still run these.' Chicago is my hometown, it's where I ran my first ultra, and it's where I got my confidence back."

Ultra #3 – December 2016-January 2017 – Narrabeen All Night Marathon (Australia) Having got back in the saddle, things began to move quickly. Ultra number three was a 12-hour overnight relay event in Sydney that began in 2016 and ended in 2017. Here, the challenge was as much mental as physical.

"Starting on New Year's Eve at 6pm, you run 1.5 miles out and 1.5 miles back as many times as possible," explains Joel. "It's like a mind game – you pass the same tree 20 times and by the end you think: 'I never want to see that tree again!'

Ultra #4 – January 2017 – Antarctica Ice Marathon (Antarctica) From Australia's high summer, Joel next pitched up in Antarctica less than three weeks later for what sounds like the loneliest marathon on the planet.

"There were 10 of us running the race. Antarctica is surreal – a really weird place – and I ended up running the 100k, which was easily the farthest I'd done up to that point."

The event is not just lonely in terms of the small entry list. Picture a marathon and you'll probably imagine streets lined with cheering supporters, urging the runners on. Unsurprisingly, there's not a great deal of fan participation this close to the South Pole.

"Nobody's out there," says Joel. "There's no crowd support and no sound anywhere. If you stop and hold your breath for a few seconds you don't hear anything. I've never experienced anything like that – it's a crazy place."

Ultra #5 – February 2017 – The North Face 50k Thailand (Asia) Asia was ticked off the list with a 50k in Thailand. While not the longest event, Joel remembers it as the greatest challenge.

"People have asked me what the toughest part of 777 was. I had all these crazy, weird experiences, but the toughest one for me was this 50k, which isn't even that far." (Speak for yourself, mate).

"It was relatively hilly, but I came into it feeling confident after doing the 100k. There were a lot of hills in the first half, but there was only supposed to be one on the back half.

"I'd misread the elevation chart and everything about it, so apparently this last hill, instead of being a relatively wide dirt road that we'd been running on, transformed into a single-track, straight up for two miles. You couldn't run it – you had to pretty much power-hike it and there were tree branches to move out the way. It took a decent amount of mental energy just to make sure your footing was okay.

"I thought more about quitting during that one section than in the whole project. In my mind I was like: 'You could just turn around…'

"That race was short but it tried to break me. Between the heat and the climbing and the type of track, it was just gnarly."

Ultra #6 – February 2017 – Rovaniemi 66k (Europe) Despite his suffering in Thailand, Joel's next ultra took place just 13 days later, in the considerably colder climes of Finland. "It was 66k, mostly on ice: frozen rivers and ponds," he says, before explaining that this event also posed some big challenges.

"The water bladder that I was going to take broke 10 minutes before the race, so I took another water bottle instead. I ran out of water a little way into the race, so I started eating snow.

"Halfway through we got to a stopping point and I was able to melt snow over a camp fire and put it into my water bottle. After two miles that water was so cold – I think it was minus 16 out there – and the bottle froze solid. I got lost two times, and when I finished my entire right foot was swollen and purple; I thought I'd fractured it, but the doctors said I'd just worked it too hard.

"That race is probably my favourite story – in fact, I tell people it was more of an expedition than a race."

Ultra #7 – April 2017 – Two Oceans Marathon 56km (Africa) After injury, isolation and an expedition, the challenge ended with a comparatively – though not entirely trouble-free – 56km ultra in South Africa. By completing it, Joel became one of just five people to run an ultra on all seven continents.

"After Finland I gave myself a month to heal up and feel good about the foot, then went down to do the Two Oceans. I ended up running it with a buddy. It was nice to finish the whole project at a big race. There were 11,000 people running the race and crowd support the whole way. So it was cool to finish in that environment."

* * *

Having initially raised $156,000 – just short of the targeted $175,000 and enough for six schools – Joel partnered up with Jesse Itzler, an entrepreneur and fellow ultra runner.

"Jesse has a fitness challenge that he puts out on the internet called We Do Hard Stuff. For every finisher that month he'll donate $100 to a charity. I'd known him for a year or so and I reached out and said: 'Hey, what do you think about making Pencils of Promise and 777 your charity of the month, and anything that you guys raise I'll match.'"

READ MORE: Meet the Scottish Ultra Runner Tackling an Ice Marathon

Jesse agreed, and brought a friend on board who also agreed to put in $100 per finisher. Through this a further $36,000 was raised, bringing the 777 total to a little over $192,000. With Joel having completed seven ultras on seven continents, the next step will be to see seven new schools built in the developing world.

* * *

While raising money for Pencils of Promise was the main goal of this project, Joel's approach sheds light on the mindset of ultra runners.

Running is therapeutic, and potentially very addictive. If you asked every person on an ultra why they did it, you'd get a whole range of responses. For Joel, it's more about what they give you psychologically than physically.

"There's always a point where you hurt; there's always going to be something that comes up," he says. "Like, it's minus 16 and my water's frozen; or I'm overheating in a Thai jungle; or I'm in Australia and I can't see a couple of feet in front of me. There's always that option to quit, go home, not deal with the pain anymore. The reason I run ultras is to get to that point and then keep going. Because every single time I do it I get stronger, I become a better runner. And I try to take that mindset and put it into my life. Because when I'm really uncomfortable, in pain and tired but can figure out how to keep going, in my day-to-day life it's so much easier to recognise that same mindset of 'this is tough, I want to quit and go home.' That's why I run.

"If you decide it doesn't matter what happens – 'If I have to crawl for 20 hours that's what I'm going to do' – then when stuff does show up you're not surprised. It's a case of: 'I'm in pain and I was expecting that, so let's keep going.'

While his doctors may not be entirely on board with that attitude, seven new schools in the developing world seems like an outcome well worth suffering for.

@Jim_Weeks

Meet the Man Who's Just Run an Ultra Marathon on All Seven Continents published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[junker-town]

What Bronco Mendenhall’s Virginia needs to avoid another year in obscurity

Of this division’s many excellent coaches, UVA’s is still the one with the toughest task.

As head coaches, David Cutcliffe, Larry Fedora, Justin Fuente, Paul Johnson, Bronco Mendenhall, Pat Narduzzi, and Mark Richt have combined for 654 wins, 62 bowl appearances, 29 ranked finishes, four conference titles, two FCS national titles, and a Broyles Award.

Cutcliffe is Duke’s most consistently successful coach in six decades.

Fedora engineered UNC’s first 11-win season in nearly two decades.

Fuente pulled off a stunning turnaround at Memphis and won the ACC Coastal in his first season at Virginia Tech.

Johnson won two FCS titles at Georgia Southern, made Navy viable, and has two top-15 finishes at Georgia Tech.

Mendenhall went to 11 bowls in 11 years at BYU, won at least nine games six times, and finished 16th or better three times.

Narduzzi pulled off a road upset of national champion Clemson and has won eight games in both of his seasons at Pitt.

Richt engineered 10 10-win seasons, six top-10 finishes, and two SEC titles at Georgia.

All seven are now in the ACC Coastal. And every time they face each other, someone has to lose.

In 2016, that was mostly Mendenhall. It wasn’t hard to see that coming.

The 50-year-old Oregon State alum dealt with unique recruiting challenges at BYU and produced top-50-caliber teams. Now he deals with a different challenge: selling a program that doesn't have the history of its rivals.

Virginia was once the most consistently decent program — in the 25 seasons between 1983 and 2007, the Cavaliers won at least six games 21 times but won 10 only once — but has now bowled just twice in 10 years. They are in the right ACC division (the Clemson- and FSU-free Coastal) but have finished within two games of the division crown only once since 2008.

Mendenhall left BYU in search of a new challenge, and boy, did he find one. His first UVA team was poor out of the gates — which resulted in losses to beatable teams like Richmond, Oregon, and UConn — and found a rhythm just in time to face a murderous stretch of conference foes. The offense had no big-play threats, and the defense had only a couple of play-makers and no depth.

Because of returning production and previous coach Mike London’s decent recruiting, UVA was projected 68th in S&P+; the slow start and limp finish meant a year-end ranking of just 88th.

Worse, this was an experienced team. Mendenhall must replace his two leading rushers, four of his top seven receiving targets, three experienced offensive line starters, four members of a nine-man rotation on the front seven, and everybody who kicked a ball last year.

Now, there weren't many difference makers in this group. But if you start slowly and finish 2-10, you’d rather do it with freshmen and sophomores. This was mostly juniors and seniors.

How long will it take Mendenhall to build the depth last year’s team didn’t have? How long until this begins to look like a Mendenhall team?

It’s hard to know what he’s got, heading into year two. He’s got an experienced quarterback and interesting receivers, but his skill-corps security blanket (running back Taquan Mizzell, who combined 187 carries with 52 receptions) is gone. A decent run defense should hold steady, but the pass defense was bad, and there’s no guarantee that returning the DBs from that secondary is a good thing.

S&P+ sees a team capable of rising into the 60s, and there are enough intriguing sophomores and juniors that you can talk yourself into that.

Mendenhall is a unique dude and was the subject of this from ESPN’s David Hale, one of my favorite profiles of the offseason.

"I started reaching out to anyone that I respected or admired or was having success and just started asking, 'Who are your influences?' or, 'What's the best book you read on this?'" Mendenhall said. "That just started building the library step by step."

Recommendations came with ferocity to the point that Mendenhall had to set a standard for what he'd actually consume. He began taking trips to the bookstore with his kids, adding a few books every week to his collection. The time immersed in reading, he found, also rejuvenated him after the stress of coaching wore him down.

"I'm an introverted, deep thinker who is in an extroverted entertainer's job," Mendenhall said.

Every book gets scrutinized for information that can help his team, too.

Thoughtful can play well in Charlottesville. But it might take him another year or two for any sort of breakthrough on the field.

2016 in review

2016 Virginia statistical profile.

Over the first five games, Virginia played five teams that ended up 72nd or lower (in some cases, much lower) in S&P+. In my 2016 preview, I thought a 3-1 start wasn’t out of the question if the Cavaliers found answers offensively.

Instead, they lost by 17 to Richmond, by 18 to Oregon, and, perhaps most damning, by three to UConn.

UVA responded with its best three performances of the year, wins over CMU and Duke and a competitive, 45-31 loss to Pitt. Then, after playing like a top-40 team, they settled into a top-80 cruising altitude ... against top-25 teams.

First 3 games (0-3): Avg. percentile performance: 23% (14% offense, 25% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.6, UVA 5.1 (minus-1.5) | Avg. score: Opp 31, UVA 19

Next 3 games (2-1): Avg. percentile performance: 71% (62% offense, 55% defense) | Avg. yards per play: UVA 6.3, Opp 5.4 (plus-0.9) | Avg. score: UVA 38, Opp 33

Last 6 games (0-6): Avg. percentile performance: 37% (31% offense, 45% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.7, UVA 4.1 (minus-2.6) | Avg. score: Opp 35, UVA 17

UVA was 0-3 in one-possession games, dropping competitive battles to Louisville and Wake Forest along with UConn; it didn’t help that the Cavaliers had some of the worst turnovers luck in the country.

What was the source of UVA’s brief offensive eruption, by the way? At first glance, it appears the answer is “balance.” Mizzell rushed 36 times for 234 yards (6.5 per carry) in that three-game span, but he only had to rush 36 times because the passing game was clicking. Kurt Benkert completed 54 percent of his passes at a whopping 14.8 yards per completion; including sacks, he averaged 7.3 yards per pass attempt. Slot receiver Olamide Zaccheaus caught 15 of 21 passes for 266 yards, 12.7 per target.

The rest of the season, Benkert averaged 4.2 yards per attempt, and Zaccheaus averaged 5.7 yards per target. That seems key, huh?

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

Robert Anae was Mendenhall’s offensive coordinator for their last three years in Provo, then made the trip with his boss. Anae showed flexibility in adjusting his system for run-happy quarterback Taysom Hill and the more pocket-based Tanner Mangum.

Anae went very pass-first under Mangum and maintained those ways last year. It was the best way to utilize both Benkert and the versatile (but not particularly explosive) Mizzell. But despite pass-heavy tendencies, Virginia managed just 15 passes of 30-plus yards, 94th in the country. Over the second half of the season, against good defenses, there was just nothing downfield.

Mizzell, backup running back Albert Reid, and receiver Keeon Johnson are gone; their production was replaceable (they combined to average five yards per carry and 5.6 yards per target), but it’s not evident who will replace them.

In the backfield, junior Jordan Ellis will likely get the first shot; the first carry of his career, a 39-yard joy ride against William & Mary, flashed a lovely combination of strength and open-field ability. But his 37 carries since then have gained just 96 yards.

The return of Zaccheaus and senior Doni Dowling gives the passing game options; they combined for 7.6 yards per target and a 48 percent success rate last year, which is neither amazing nor awful. But the next three returning receivers — Andre Levrone, Hasise Dubois, Warren Craft — caught just 24 of 56 passes (43 percent).

The best news would be a breakout from Joe Reed. The sophomore was a revelation in the return game last year and caught a 25-yard pass against Pitt and a 28-yarder against Virginia Tech. But those were two of just four receptions. Dubois is exciting, but he caught just eight passes. It’s hard to rely on a pair of receivers with 12 combined catches.

It’s also hard to assume improvement up front. The line must replace three players (Eric Smith, Jackson Matteo, Michael Mooney) who had combined for 97 career starts. Two senior starters return (left tackle Jack English, guard Jack McDonald), and the Hoos have added both Notre Dame transfer John Montelus (a former four-star recruit) and Oklahoma State transfer Brandon Pertile; plus, former four-star recruit Steven Moss still has time to develop into something reliable. Still, the line needs to improve, not just hold steady.

The Hoos still have Benkert, though. The ECU transfer was as inconsistent as his receiving corps last year but added experience and dropped about 15 pounds. At 6’4, 220 (or so) pounds, he looks the part. But he needs more help than he got last year.

Defense

Over his last six seasons at BYU, Mendenhall’s defense graded out better than his offense five times. The Cougar D peaked during the Kyle Van Noy era, ranking sixth in Def. S&P+ in 2012 and 13th in 2013, but it was always steady and aggressive.

One trait translated in Charlottesville. Six members of the starting front seven recorded at least four tackles for loss, led by middle linebacker Micah Kiser and end Andrew Brown. The duo combined for 23 tackles for loss and 12.5 sacks, and Kiser alone added eight passes defensed and five forced fumbles. He is a one-man havoc rate, and if he can get help from the edges, he could produce even bigger numbers.

Brown, a former blue-chipper, is a lovely piece, but if some sophomores step forward, the front seven could be excellent. Linebacker Jordan Mack, tackle James Trucilla, and ends Eli Hanback, Steven Wright, and Juwan Moye saw the field last year, and Mack and Hanback were key. Plus, linebacker Jahvoni Simmons is a former four-star recruit, ILB Dominic Sheppard was a mid-three, and OLB Gladimir Paul is athletic. They’re sophomores, too. And if junior Malcolm Cook breaks through after a serious illness, all the better.

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Andrew Brown

When the UVA defense was doing well last year, it was usually because of the front seven and run defense. The Cavaliers ranked 55th in Rushing S&P+ but only 89th in Passing S&P+; they allowed a 61 percent completion rate and 13.9 yards per completion with 25 touchdown passes to just nine interceptions. Worse yet: five of those interceptions came in one game. Even against a decent pass rush, opponents were able to look downfield.

Mark Dolejs-USA TODAY Sports

Bryce Hall (34) and Juan Thornhill (21)

That was with well-regarded safety Quin Blanding, a former blue-chipper who defensed eight passes. Just imagine the passing stats without him. But he’s back.

However, cornerback was a revolving door. With 2015 starter Tim Harris injured and others unable to stay on the field, converted safety Juan Thornhill and freshman Bryce Hall were the only stalwarts. They did combine for five INTs and 11 breakups, but the breakdowns were constant.

In theory, this will improve. Including Harris’ 2015 stats, five returning DBs recorded at least one TFL, and six recorded at least two passes defensed. Blanding, Thornhill (back at safety), and sophomore safety Chris Moore are an exciting trio, and Mendenhall and defensive coordinator Nick Howell have options. But when you rank 89th in Passing S&P+, you can improve and still be mediocre.

Special Teams

Good news, bad news.

Good: Virginia ranked in the top 10 in both kick return and punt return efficiency, and big reasons — Joe Reed on kicks, Daniel Hamm on punts — return. They provided a field position boost for a desperate team.

Bad: Four different Cavaliers kicked balls — punter Nicholas Conte, kickoffs guy Dylan Sims, place-kickers Sam Hayward and Alex Furbank — and they’re all gone.

Sort of good: Virginia mostly stunk at kicking anyway. Hayward and Furbank were 5-for-8 on field goals under 40 yards and 0-for-2 over it, and kickoffs and coverage were lacking.

Still bad: Conte was excellent, combining a 44.3-yard punting average with a propensity for fair catches. He will be missed. Redshirt freshman Nash Griffin was a stud in high school. But he’s a redshirt freshman.

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep William & Mary NR 23.7 91% 9-Sep Indiana 39 -4.4 40% 16-Sep Connecticut 125 18.6 86% 23-Sep at Boise State 29 -11.7 25% 7-Oct Duke 65 -0.3 49% 14-Oct at North Carolina 38 -9.4 29% 21-Oct Boston College 76 4.6 60% 28-Oct at Pittsburgh 33 -10.7 27% 4-Nov Georgia Tech 31 -6.5 35% 11-Nov at Louisville 14 -21.0 11% 18-Nov at Miami 18 -16.4 17% 24-Nov Virginia Tech 25 -8.9 30%

Projected S&P+ Rk 70 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 82 / 48 Projected wins 5.0 Five-Year S&P+ Rk -0.9 (72) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 58 / 46 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -9 / 1.0 2016 TO Luck/Game -4.2 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 74% (64%, 84%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 4.0 (-2.0)

Ellis, Zaccheaus, Peace, Cook, and Thornhill are juniors. Reed, Dubois, Hanback, Mack, and Simmons are sophomores. A lot of Virginia’s most important players will be around in 2018, too, and maybe that gives us an idea of the Cavaliers’ arrival timeline (if, you know, one exists).

There are just too many ifs to expect any massive breakthrough this year, but there are winnable home games.

S&P+ doesn’t give UVA a better than 29 percent chance in any of five road games, but the Cavaliers are at 30 percent or better in all seven home games. The best hope for a nice season comes in winning early games against William & Mary, Indiana, UConn, and Duke, beating Boston College a couple of weeks later, and hoping this generates enough confidence to pull a late-season upset.

That offers no margin for error, but it’s a path. More likely: UVA wins four or five games, a couple of sophomores break through, and 2018’s preview is more optimistic.

Team preview stats

All power conference preview data to date.