#OH MAN THIS IS SO DANG LATE UGH

[clowningaroundmars]

heeyyy yaaalllll

so i was thinking to myself, i love punkflower. i really do.

what if there was a hobie in miles' universe and he didnt have to do the whole long distance relationship across dimensions thing, though? just keep his lil secret crush on spiderpunk a secret and keep it pushing, only to literally bump into his own hobie brown in 1610 one day?

wouldnt that be cool, guys?

wouldnt it? :)

wouldnt :) it :) be :) so :) cool? :) and so cute too?

:)

update: >part 2 here<

Miles was late.

It was his first day back, the very beginning of his junior year at Visions Academy and he was late. God damn.

His parents were really gonna kill him this time, no doubt about it. There weren't even any good Spiderman excuses he could use to weasel his way out of getting into trouble this time! He'd just have to cross his fingers and pray that his chemistry teacher for this year wasn't a total hardass like last year's English teacher.

Maybe he could make up some dumb excuse this time, try to wriggle his way into the professor's good graces with some blatant lie. Anyways, whose dumb idea was it to put him in a class so damn far from the entrance doors so early in the mor--

BRRRRRRING!

Miles tore around a corner just as the final bell rang throughout the mostly-empty hallways, inciting panic in his chest and making him nearly launch himself down another hallway just to get to his class.

In his haste, he nearly knocked over a very tall and very... familiar looking person that happened to be in Miles' trajectory. Luckily, bodies didn't end up colliding but the shock of having a person fly so quickly into their line of sight shocked the both of them into skidding to a sudden stop.

The tall person ended up dropping a textbook and what seemed like an enormous packet of papers, because sheets scattered absolutely everywhere, almost like snow.

Ugh. Of course.

They both stared down at the mess in the middle of the hallway floor for a beat.

Then, Miles exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.

"Aw man, I-I'm sorry! I just uh... here, lemme just--"

They both bent down to quickly scoop up the papers as Miles stuttered and spoke a hundred miles a minute, trying to apologize for the heart-stopping scare he caused. Just as Miles shuffled the papers together in his hands, he finally looked up at the unlucky student he almost football-tackled first thing in the morning... and nearly dropped the papers onto the floor again.

Kneeled right in front of him with papers and a textbook tucked under a skinny arm, long fingers nervously plucking up what was left of the rest of the packet, was none other than... Hobie Brown.

Oh. God.

This Hobie didn't seem to be Miles' Hobie, though.

(Miles' temperature rose a bit as he quickly thought: wait, my Hobie? That's not right, either.)

Instead of large freeform locs that tapered off like wicks, he was sporting long uniform locs that were piled up high in a loose ponytail on his head, most likely due to the school policy that stated boys needed to have hair above the nape of their neck. Miles kinda wondered about that policy, if he ever decided to grow out his hair; would pulling his hair up be enough? Or would they police his hair length and force him to cut it all off?

Well, turns out the answer was literally right in front of him. Another shock to the system right after the first one.

That was Miles' excuse, really. It was just so dang early in the morning and he really really wasn't thinking when he opened his mouth and basically shouted "Hobie?!"

It honest to god sounded like it echoed in the hallway.

He slapped a hand over his mouth, immediately chastising himself for the stupid mistake he made, mentally kicking himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! He wasn't supposed to know this guy obviously, they hadn't even met in their dimension yet!

Hobie, for his part, didn't seem perturbed by this at all though. He took the papers from Miles' hands and straightened himself back up to his full height, offering a hand so that Miles could stand up too.

He shrugged shyly and hid behind a couple locs that happened to fall back into his face, holding the books and papers closer to his chest.

"Uhmmn yeah, sorry. I-I'm runnin' late to my first class so I can't really give any autographs right now. Maybe later... if we see each other, ok?"

Miles blinked owlishly. Did he just say... autographs?

And wait a minute... was this Hobie... American?

Miles' poor little sleep-deprived mind was being blown again and again. He really didn't know if he was ever going to recover from this.

Hobie started to back up and walk away so Miles held his hands up to stop him. "Wait wait wait, autographs? I'm not uh-- sorry, this is weird," he laughed, rubbing his neck. "Nah, man. That's cool. I don't really want any autographs. Are you uh-- are you famous, actually?"

It was this Hobie's turn to blink owlishly now, hesitating a bit. A non-pierced eyebrow was raised as he said, "I... I kinda am...?"

He turned and pointed out the giant window of the hallway that they happened to be standing by, and Miles craned his neck to peer outside.

It smacked him right in the face once his eyes landed on it: a giant billboard fixed atop a neighboring building that depicted Hobie Brown in a luxurious-looking perfume ad. He sported the same locs as he did in real life, wearing shiny-looking makeup and giving the viewer the fiercest, smokiest look Miles has ever seen from a model in a hot minute. He was clutching deep purple satin, wrapped in it, basking in it. A single perfume bottle with a deep purple bow on the neck was photoshopped next to him, matching the overall vibe of the ad.

Miles was rooted to the spot, absolutely gobsmacked. How in the world did he miss that?!

Distantly, a small echo of a conversation he had in what seemed like a lifetime ago floated up from a memory. "I was briefly a runway model" pulsed in his neural pathways for a quick second.

Slowly, the gears started turning in his head. Slowly, he turned back to his dimension's Hobie Brown, who was giving him a strange sort of look.

Miles awkwardly tried to gather himself up, waving his hands around as he struggled for a non-weird explanation to his very weird behavior.

"I-I mean-- ahahaha! Yeah I mean, obviously you're famous! I was just y'know-- playin' with you. Pulling your leg and all that, I guess... heh."

The strange dubious look on Hobie's face didn't budge. "...Right."

Miles coughed conspicuously, trying to change the subject. "But uh yeah, haven't seen you around this school much then! Are you... you in a different grade than me or...?"

The corner of Hobie's mouth twitched suddenly, and for a split second Miles wondered if he said something wrong.

But then Hobie chuckled a bit. "No, I don't think so? This is my first day here. Like... ever. So I'm not really surprised you haven't seen me before. I just transferred over."

Miles practically sighed in relief and nodded, hands in his pockets. "Right! Right, very cool. Welcome to Visions then, I guess. Uh... I'm Miles! Miles Morales. Nice to meet ya!"

He goofily stuck a hand out, which Hobie actually accepted. They shook hands for a second, and then Miles was suddenly taken aback by how cold his hand was against his own skin. It was a definite contrast to the warm and lanky body he remembered practically draped across his own, back in Mumbattan.

He forced those particular memories away for now.

This Hobie was smiling down at him, sad eyes set inside a seemingly genuine expression of fondness. "Cool. I'm Hobie. But, uh, it seems like you already knew that, so."

"Aha, yeah yeah! It just-- honestly it's just the shock of, uh, running into a major celeb in the middle of my school that really got to me, I think. Sorry. I probably look like a total weirdo right now!"

Hobie shook his head, and Miles took the opportunity to really study this guy now that the shock was over and the vibe was more chill. This Hobie was just as long and lanky as the punk anarchist Miles was already well acquainted with, but he held himself completely differently. Where Spider-Hobie was all confident strut and careless swagger, this Hobie seemed to be all reserved grace and... sadness? He definitely reminded Miles of a willow tree drooping down into a lake, beautiful but tragic at the same time.

Okay Miles, get it together, he thought, stop thinking this guy is beautiful. I mean, he is beautiful yeah... but c'mon man, focus!

Hobie's non-pierced lips were moving now, finishing a sentence that Miles most definitely did not catch.

Then, Hobie looked at him expectantly.

Oh shit. He just asked a question didn't he? Fuck.

"Uh, sorry... one more time?" Miles grinned as wide as he could, apologetic. Nice going, Morales, the humorless voice in his head chimed in. Definitely not convincing this guy you're an alien from outer space or anything!

Hobie huffed a laugh and cleared his throat. "Sorry, my fault. Sometimes I mumble and... yeah. Mom says I need to work on that," he sighed, then continued, "I was just wondering if you knew where room 301 was?"

Miles nearly jumped with the force of the realization that just hit him.

"301? Mr. Moriarty's class?"

"Y-yeah, that's the one," Hobie smiled, twirling a loc on one finger and tugging it a bit. Then he tucked it back behind his ear. "I'm actually so lost it's not even funny, I'm godawful at directions and like, navigating. I've been looking for it for like 20 minutes now--"

"That's where my first class is too! AP chem!"

Hobie seemed to brighten up a bit at that, straightening his posture up from his own self-conscious hunch. "Oh cool! We should probably get going then, if we don't wanna be more late than we already are."

Without thinking, Miles places a hand on Hobie's shoulder and steers them both towards a classroom right at the end of the hallway they were in.

"Of course, right this way! Pretty lucky you ran into me, huh? I can help you find your other classes later on if you want, too."

For the first time since nearly crashing into him, Miles looked up at Hobie and saw genuine happiness in his eyes as they grinned at each other and walked down the hall together.

"...Yeah," Hobie said, nodding slowly. "Yeah that'd be pretty cool. Thanks!"

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Their chemistry teacher ended up not being a total hardass after all! Especially when Miles rolled up with none other than Famous Model Hobie in tow, immediately causing a ripple of whispers amongst the students sat at their desks.

Mr. Moriarty was a short and stumpy old man with a kind face and a severely receding hairline. He took one look at Hobie after squinting at his attendance sheet, accepted Miles' quick explanation that they were late because Hobie's minty fresh enrollment got him all lost in these maze-like hallways, and excused their tardiness with a wave of a hand.

"It's the first day and you were very kind to help a new student out, Mr. Morales. You're both excused for today, but try not to make a habit of it, alright?"

Miles bobbed his head as he picked his way past rows of desks. "Absolutely, sir. No problem at all. Thanks a bunch!"

Hobie stuck close to him, and smiled a bit as the only two desks left empty in the whole room happened to be right next to each other, right up in the back of the class. Nice.

They took their seats and exchanged a couple of glances as they pulled out their notebooks, barely listening to their professor's quick introduction and class syllabus. Well, Miles was barely listening, anyways. He was too caught up in the euphoria of running into a dimensional variant of one of his friends, in Visions Academy no less! His mind started to wander a bit. Did a 1610 Gwen exist too? a 1610 Pavitr? Were they also here at Visions? And what was with these random stares he and Hobie were getting from their fellow classmates right now?

Every now and then a student's head would swivel back to glance in their direction, awestruck looks evident on their faces.

How famous was Hobie anyway?

Of course, there was that giant billboard conveniently placed within view of the school's back hallways near a busy intersection, but Miles really started to think. He sneakily pulled out his phone and swiped down to the lowest brightness he could in case the classroom's fluorescent lighting wasn't enough to hide the phone screen's own light.

He kept his face straight forward, eyes flicking to and from his typing that he was trying to conceal behind the student sitting in front of him. He typed Hobie Brown model, Hobie Brown perfume ad, Hobie Brown supermodel, getting absolutely nothing every single time. Well, nothing that looked like the Hobie Brown sitting next to him, who happened to be dutifully scribbling down some notes in his notebook. Miles looked down at his own empty sheet of paper and quickly copied his new friend, whipping out a pencil and hurrying to catch up with the lecture on the whiteboard before the professor moved on.

Groan. What gives? Was Hobie this super accomplished, totally famous supermodel or not? Maybe he wasn't on social media, oddly enough. Maybe he just started an illustrious career and happened to be famous only in Brooklyn right now? No, that didn't make sense. If he was some small-time influencer or whatever, people would not be asking for autographs so often that Hobie would just automatically assume anyone who recognized him wanted one. And the looks on these other kids' faces convinced Miles that... maybe something was missing. Maybe he's just not searching up the right terms?

Agh, if only Spiderman business didn't keep him totally detached from reality sometimes. He really felt like he and the rest of the world were on totally different planets. If he had any friends besides Ganke, he probably would've heard about Hobie by now.

He bit his lip in concentration, trying to multitask between forming theories and keeping up with the lesson in the front of the classroom.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of eyes staring straight at him that didn't belong to the other classmates he barely even knew. He glanced over at Hobie, who quickly looked away.

Was that... an embarrassed look on his face just now? Miles scratched at his jaw a bit, more confused than before.

That was weird. Whatever. Anyways...

Before long, class was over and the bell rang. Miles and Hobie both meandered slowly up to the door and hung around the outside, leaning against the wall as they compared schedules before they had to make their way to their next class.

"Dang," Miles lamented, clutching his own schedule and moving to slot it into the cover of his binder. "Looks like we don't share any more classes besides 1st period..."

Hobie stopped his hand and squinted at the sheet again, glancing back at his own. "Uhmm... nah, actually. I think we might have 6th period together? Right after lunch."

"Do we share a lunch period too, actually?" Miles asked excitedly.

Hobie made a small noise of triumph, a smile playing over his lips. "Yeah! 1st, lunch and then 6th. Okay. Better than nothing, right?"

Miles chuckled, shoving his schedule into the plastic and tucking it under his arm. "Definitely. We can eat together at the cafeteria if you want! I'll walk you to your next class though, since it's basically right around the corner."

Hobie shrugged his own backpack back onto his shoulder and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. His eyes were cast downwards as he grinned at the floor and said, "yeah, if you don't mind... that'd be pretty cool."

This guy sure does like the word cool, Miles thought, and away to Hobie's next class they both went. They both ignored the various whispers and stares in their direction. Miles was already used to it by now.

They walked together amiably, in near lockstep for a little while before Hobie finally spoke up again.

"... So... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so nice to me if you didn't know I was famous, then?"

It was an innocent enough question, but it kinda caught Miles off guard nonetheless.

He laughed nervously. "Uhh ahaha, whaddya mean? I did know you were famous! I just... y'know my brain doesn't work the best real early in the morning. I'm, uh. Sometimes I can be pretty weird, if you haven't noticed by now."

Hobie nodded slowly, digesting this information for a bit. "Yeah, you did recognize me in the first place, I guess. It's just weird, you're like... the first person I met that doesn't look at me like I'm made out of solid gold, though. That's all..."

They exchanged glances again, and Miles' brain was working into overdrive, thinking of an appropriate response.

Before he could open his mouth, they finally reached their destination and Hobie bumped Miles' shoulder with his arm, smiling.

"So, thanks. For, uh... this. All this."

Miles raised a brow at him. "Oh yeah, this is nothing. I just walked you over to your next class, no biggie. My class is right over here anyways, so--"

Hobie laughed and shook his head, the expression lighting up his facial features unlike anything Miles has seen on that face yet.

"No, Miles. Not just this. I mean, like..." Hobie dipped his head, a bashful sort of move. "I mean, like, being nice to me. Like forreal. I really appreciate this."

They looked at each other for a moment, something real warm growing in Miles' chest all of a sudden, something... familiar.

He was just about to casually brush the gratitude off a second time with a dorky quip, before some girl's screechy voice interrupted their private little moment out of nowhere. It honestly startled them both, and the nice warm atmosphere dissipated immediately.

"Oh. My. GOD!! Is that Hobie Jones? Like actually?!"

She giggled and bounded up to them, blatantly ignoring Miles to insert herself between them and crowd into Hobie's space. She coquettishly asked for a selfie with him, promising to tag him on social media. The sudden commotion unfortunately attracted some other students who then took their cue to also bother Hobie for autographs, selfies, throwing compliments left and right.

Miles backed up out of the crowd, eyes still on Hobie as he watched the poor guy metaphorically slip on a mask, the very same that Miles saw when they first met not 2 hours ago. It was a sad, detached sort of look, and Hobie was forced to hunch in on himself to meet his fellow students' heights as they snapped selfie after selfie. His lips formed a smile all the while. His eyes did not.

A pang of sympathy hit Miles as he slowly turned away and made his way down to his own classroom without so much as a goodbye. He shrugged to himself, shaking his head. Yeah, he knew how that felt, just trying to mind your own business and live your life, do what you have to do-- and being stopped by nearly every living being within a 50 ft radius wanting their photo ops and their babies kissed.

Miles smiled to himself as he shouldered his way past other students and sauntered into his class, right on time. The bell rang as he reached his desk, and he pulled out another notebook out of his bag before the realization finally hit him with the force of a truck.

Wait... Hobie JONES?!

Miles quickly glanced around at his surroundings and mentally kicked himself yet again for choosing a seat so close to the teacher's desk, almost right up at the front. Damnit!

But the teacher wasn't in the classroom just yet, most likely making a quick run down to the printer down the hall to make copies of the class syllabus or something.

Okay, Morales. Gotta be quick.

He hastily pulled out his phone yet again, one eye on the door. He quickly typed in Hobie Jones model in his browser's search box, letting out a breath as search results loaded up and gave him exactly what he was looking for this entire time.

Bingo.

Hobie's face popped up in the image search previews, all sorts of cool and striking photoshoots lit up in all kinds of different ways. And the very first link at the top of the page? Hobie's own Flickstagram.

With a shaky hand, Miles tapped the link and impatiently waited for it to load, for his phone to get with the program and just open the damn app already. He kept glancing every so often at the door yet again, praying that the printer or copier-- or whatever-the-hell that was keeping the professor away from the class-- would keep them away for just a second longer.

He finally cast his gaze back down onto his own Flickstagram app and his heart nearly dropped out of his chest.

At the top, right next to Hobie's own smoldering profile picture was his username: hobiemjones

hobiemjones... hobie m jones. Hobie M. Jones.

M.J.

Miles exhaled again and tucked his phone away in shock just as the classroom door opened yet again and all the students quieted down. This class's teacher made their way over to their desk, piles of papers in hand. They started to pass them out to the students in the front row, introducing themself and then going over the usual attendance policies.

Miles accepted the syllabus sheets with trembling hands, turning to pass them over his shoulder once he got his own, his mind running a hundred miles a minute.

Peter talked nonstop about his wife, whenever he managed to stop talking about his baby, that is. It was always MJ this, MJ that. Flashes of a middle-aged man staring forlornly at a picture of his then-ex wife-- grieving the one who got away-- raced across his mind's eye. His universe's own MJ standing at a podium, strong but deeply hurt as she addressed all of Brooklyn after Spiderman's funeral.

"She wanted kids and I... just wasn't ready," echoed over and over in Miles' mind. Of course, they're together now. But the way Peter talked about his divorce... oh god.

Wait... was Miles ready for kids? Were he and Hobie going to have a messy on-and-off again relationship that ended up with them having to care for a spider-baby just like Mayday?! Maybe even multiple spider-babies?!?!?

Miles loosened his tie a bit, sweating profusely.

The fact that neither Hobie nor Miles were equipped with the parts to make a baby together flew right over his head. No... instead, his mind skipped straight to marriage, messy emotional fights and inevitable breakups. How was he gonna juggle school, work, Spiderman stuff and a relationship all at once?!

Without realizing, Miles started hyperventilating.

No no no no no, cool it Miles. COOL IT. Don't be weird. Miles mentally slapped himself and tried to even out his breathing as he leaned back in his seat and wiped some sweat off his brow.

He just proved to Miguel O' Hara and the entire multiverse this past spring that he can do his own thing, canon events be damned. Miles Morales was no victim to fate. Maybe all of the other spider-people had their own MJs. But maybe in this universe, MJ and Spiderman were... just friends. Good friends! ...Yeah, yeah, just friends...

The idea floated around in Miles' head throughout the entire rest of the class, but it didn't really make the tightness in his chest loosen up any at all.

Once the bell rang again and everyone started packing their things up, Miles dawdled a bit by the door, fumbling with his phone as his classmates filed out of the room. If he was late enough, maybe he'd completely miss Hobie in the hallways and not have to see him at all. Miles double-checked, triple-checked his schedule again and again, mapping out an eventual escape route through the halls in case Hobie's path did intercept Miles'.

God, Miles thought ruefully, checking the hour on his phone for the 15th time in a row and smiling awkwardly at his teacher's questioning glance. You're being so fucking weird about this right now!

The rational part of his brain kicked in and presented a quick slideshow of other calmer, more reasonable explanations as to why he really shouldn't be avoiding his new friend like the plague all of a sudden.

1. Hobie probably doesn't and won't like me, it stated. There is literally no proof that Hobie Jones is even into guys. Or me, Miles Morales.

2. Even if Hobie Jones is into guys-- or me, Miles Morales-- that does not mean the endgame is automatically marriage. No sir, no proof of that at all!

3. Canon events were officially disproven. Kinda. Mostly. Sort of?

C'mon, bro. Just man up and get out there. You're gonna be late for the next class soon anyways.

Right. He inhaled deeply and steeled himself.

"Okay well, uh. Have a nice day Mx. Gonzalez! See ya... tomorrow." Miles cringed inwardly at how lame that sounded, but his teacher didn't seem to notice as they bid him a nice day as well.

With his heart in his stomach, Miles slowly made his way into the hallway and started walking at a brisk pace, keeping his eyeline straight in front of him, trying to reach his next class on the floor below quickly but manageably. It was when he reached the stairs that his heart sank even lower.

Hobie was standing right next to the stairwell, glaring at the school map placed on the wall off to the left, fingertips on his chin as he mumbled to himself. He was glancing up and down between the map and his schedule in his hand, clearly befuddled.

Damn, he really is bad at navigating, Miles mused, once he recovered.

But as luck would have it, tragedy struck right then. Miles being pretty much the only other kid in the hallway attracted Hobie's attention, and even though Miles' feet kept him moving, he almost tripped on air once Hobie perked up upon seeing him.

"Miles!" Hobie grinned and waved him over, clearly happy to see him.

Oh noooo. Miles was not as happy to see him.

Without thinking, he launched himself down the flight of stairs, hopping over the railing and landing loudly on the 1st floor. Once steady, he basically sprinted over to his 3rd period class, completely missing the way Hobie's sunny grin slowly disappeared and his hand lowered back down to his side.

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Lunchtime came and went. Miles ate his packed lunch at his usual perch on top of the school building, where he always hid while trying to avoid the rest of the student body. He managed to pick a good spot away from prying eyes, and it never failed him.

Hobie ate alone, at a table tucked into the corner of the cafeteria despite being invited to several other tables. He sat and chewed sadly, locs back in front of his eyes, posture hunched over and defeated.

6th period came and went. Miles purposefully kept his gaze averted as Hobie walked in 5 minutes late. They sat at opposite ends of the room, never acknowledging each other's existence.

The school day ended and Miles made his way back to the dorms, sighing with relief once he glanced out the window and saw giant rainclouds rolling in over the horizon. Man, was he glad he got to bunk up on campus with his best friend! He greeted Ganke, kicked off his shoes and climbed up onto his bunkbed, laying back with a sigh. Maybe tomorrow he'd confront Hobie about his erratic behavior and apologize. Maybe.

But that was a problem for future Miles...

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Outside, the rain started falling fast and hard.

Outside, Hobie M. Jones waited miserably by the curb with an umbrella in hand, getting drenched by the water nonetheless. He checked his phone for the 15th time and sniffled angrily, pocketing it and gripping onto his umbrella handle.

Late. Again.

His mother was late to pick him up, as usual.

He swiped at a tear rolling down his cheek and finally loosened his ponytail, letting his locs fall all around his face.

Once she arrived, his mother was going to inevitably ask him how his day was, look only slightly concerned about his angry tears and ask if he made any new friends anyways, despite knowing the answer.

No, mom, Hobie would say as he kept his eyes glued to the car window.

No. I didn't make any friends.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks to @willtheweaver here and here, @somethingclevermahogony here, @the-golden-comet here and here, and @illarian-rambling here, and @mysticstarlightduck here!

Rules: write the given line in the voice of your characters!

I swear I don't let these build up intentionally! It's just that I seem to only get tagged in giant spurts and it's only when I'm busy! I get tired and it's hard to think about these responses.

Anyways, under the cut.

"Don't worry! I'm fine! (Lie)"

Lexi: "Nononono, seriously, I'm totally fine! No need to worry about me! I know what I can and cannot handle."

Maddie: "Why is everyone worried about me? I'm fine. Wade healed me. Who cares?"

Ash: "Pfft. Cmon, there's no need to worry, Lex. If there was a problem, I'd stop it. No need to worry."

Gwen: "Thanks for your concern, but I really am okay."

Robbie: "I already said I was fine, dude. Stop worrying, haha."

Akash: "Ha, I'm fine. Like, I get it, you're worried, and thanks, but really though - I'm okay."

Jedi: "While I appreciate that you are concerned for me, I really must insist that I am in no need of it."

Carmen: "I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

"Stay with me, help is on the way!"

Lexi: "Nononono, don't pass out! It's okay, you're okay you're okay.... We'll help you. They're coming and... And then you'll be fine." This is mainly for herself.

Maddie: "I think you'll be fine. Help is coming." She doesn't believe it.

Ash: *does this telepathically*

Gwen: "Shhh, hey, it's okay...it's okay.... You'll be fine. Stay with me... help's on the way.... You'll be okay."

Robbie: "Hey, hey dude... you'll be fine, just... Hang in there until help comes."

Akash: "You'll be fine. No need to worry. We just called for help. They'll be here soon." He also doesn't believe this.

Jedi: "You will be healed soon. You are not going to die. There is no need for concern."

Carmen: "Just shut up and focus on not dying. Help will come and you'll be fine." She's genuinely panicking.

"I refuse to apologize!"

Lexi: "I wish I could apologize, but I don't think it'll do any good now."

Maddie: "Why would I apologize? I didn't do anything."

Ash: "Wait, you want me to apologize? Why?"

Gwen: "I'm not going to apologize for doing what's right."

Robbie: "Pfft, what?? Apologize? Why would I?!"

Akash: "I'd apologize normally, but I'm with Robbie here."

Jedi: "I do not understand why it is necessary for me to apologize, so I will refrain from doing so."

Carmen: *scoffs* "Apologize?!"

"We've run out of time? GET SOME MORE, THEN!"

Lexi: "WHAT?! We're outta time??? How???? Oh, man, I wish there was more time!!!"

Maddie: "We're outta time? Oops. Wouldn't it be funny if we actually ran out of time? It's a weird statement if you think about it."

Ash: "Wait, since when is it [this time]? Why am I always running out of time to do stuff?"

Gwen: "Huh?! *Checks time* Oh, no, I'm late!! If only I had more time..."

Robbie: "What time is it??? Shit!!! Shitshitshit--- (mumbling to himself) gotta get distracted all the time... Running out of time... Dang ittttt.... Wish I could just add more time..."

Akash: "It's WHAT TIME?? Oh no, there's no way. No way. Time is not that short."

Jedi: "Huh. It appears it is well past the time. That is rather unfortunate...." He's really upset.

Carmen: she makes it her mission to always know what time it is.

"Don't do that. Seriously. DO NOT."

Lexi: "No!!! That's illegal/you're gonna get in trouble!!!"

Maddie: "Stop doing that. It's annoying."

Ash: "Will you stop!? That's annoying."

Gwen: "Hey, uh... I'm not sure if you should be doing that?"

Robbie: "Dude, you realize if you keep doing that, you're screwing everyone over, right?"

Akash: "Man, you gotta stop doing that, you look like an idiot."

Jedi: "I...would advise you not to do that."

Carmen: "Do NOT DO THAT!"

"Didn't think you had it in you to be this petty. Nice!"

"Fuck, I hate this job."

Let's pretend that they all have jobs. Despite only Jedi and Carmen being adults.

Lexi: "Ugh, this job is kinda dull. And lonely. I don't really like it."

Maddie: "This is boring. It's like the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. I hate it."

Ash: "This job is kinda...meh, I guess. Dull, maybe? I dunno, but nothing is happening. I kinda hate it."

Gwen: "I know I'm doing good work, but...I dunno, I just... I don't feel it, y'know? Fulfilled? I feel like I'm getting drained every day, and I dunno what to do about it."

Robbie: "I can't take it anymore, okay? It's just... So boring and repetitive and-- and I dunno, I can't do it. I feel trapped or something. I hate it."

Akash: "I don't think I can do this job anymore. I'm tired of being alone all day doing these stupid tasks."

Jedi: "Carmen, I... I am starting to not quite like our job. I am...unsure if what we are doing actually possesses meaning." (If only he could just come to this conclusion now)

Carmen: "You think I like this job?! I can't stand it!" (Cmon Carmen let it out...)

Lexi: "Wow. That's a little petty. Though I guess he deserved it. Just wasn't expecting it from you."

Maddie: "Ha. That was petty. Nice."

Ash: "Haha. I knew there was some pettiness in there." (She can sense it)

Gwen: "That was...a bit petty. But it was pretty cool. And I think you needed to be a bit petty."

Robbie: "Dude, that was sick! Super petty, but sick!"

Akash: "That was super petty, but super awesome. Didn't know you had it in you."

Jedi: "I will admit, that was quite the petty remark. However, I believe it was a deserved statement. I am, though, surprised it came from you."

Carmen: "Wow, Jedi. That was a little petty, coming from you. [Several seconds of pause] Good job." (She would only say this to him)

Yayyy we did it!

Tagging @melpomene-grey @riveriafalll @mk-writes-stuff @sarahlizziewrites @dyrewrites

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's phrase is: "Do you think it's a good idea to pet [that animal]?"

I think this can be used either way where the person talking wants to pet the animal or who they're talking to wants it.

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

[bridgeportbritt]

Creeksbrey Palace | Umbrage, SimDonia | 10 Days Until the Wedding

Gianni: Family, we have arrived!

Gianni: Oh, you guys are all... at the door... waiting. I guess I should've known.

Bria: Of course, we're all here to greet you and your guest, Gianni. That's not weird.

Gianni: Sure, well. Everyone this is Jennifer. Jennifer, let me introduce to the crew.

Gianni: Starting with the siblings, this is my #1 Pain in the butt, Ella.

Ella: Ugh, ignore him! I'm his most awesome sibling. Hi!

Gianni: This is Rose, my youngest sister.

Rose: Hi! You're pretty! Want to see my new kitchen playset?

Gianni: Later, Rose. And finally, the reasons we've flown out here, my brother, Grayson and his fiancé, Olivia.

Olivia and Grayson: Nice to meet you!

Gianni: And finally, the 'rents. Mom, Dad, you know.

Emmitt: Welcome, Jennifer. Thanks for coming all this way.

Bria: Yes, welcome! We are so happy to have you. Love your outfit.

Jennifer: Thank you! Wow. Hi, everyone! Thanks for the warm welcome and letting me be here. I'm excited to get to know everyone better. You have a beautiful home.

Ella: We're much more excited to get to know the girl that actually likes Gianni.

Gianni: Don't start, Elle.

Bria: Well, bring it in for hugs. How was your flight? Sorry, we couldn't send our jet. They're being real sticklers lately.

Gianni: No worries. Dad's old one is fine. Well, guess it's mine now.

Jennifer: It was great! I've never flown in a private jet before.

Rose: Really? How do you fly to far places?

Ella: Oh my, Watcher, Rose. You can't just ask someone why they don't fly private.

Bria: Please don't see these crazy children as a direct reflection of me.

Jennifer laughs nervously: No, it's okay! An honest question.

Bria: Rose, some people don't have their own planes, so they fly with other people... on other people's planes. You know what, listen to your sister.

Ella: Oooo, that's rare. While I'm up, would you like to see some embarrassing photos of Gianni?

Jennifer: Oh, sure!

Ella: I have so many!

Gianni: Oh my, Watcher.

Grayson: Not regretting this already, are you?

Gianni laughs: You're lucky I like you, man.

Grayson: It's nice to see you, G.

Bria: Ella, stop embarrassing your brother!

Ella: Dang. Don't worry I have plenty more. Another time.

Gianni: Soak it in because you might not be seeing me for a while.

Olivia: Hey, Gianni! Thanks for flying out!

Gianni: Aw, I wouldn't miss it. How's wedding planning? Do you even know what it's going to look like or is that all in momzilla's head over there?

Bria: I heard that.

Olivia laughs: It's going well! Honestly, it's nice having help. And we've been able to... come to compromises.

Grayson under his breath: Not enough.

Bria: Heard that, too.

Bria: Now, while you're here, Jennifer, please let us know if there is anything you need. We want you to be comfortable here.

Jennifer: Thank you, Your Royal Highness!

Bria: Please, all my friends call me Bria. I can tell we're going to be friends. Anyone that makes my son as happy as you seem to is a friend in my book.

Jennifer excited: Of course! Your son makes me so happy, as well! You clearly raised him well.

Bria: Thank you for saying that. I worry about that one. But, if he could pull a girl like you, maybe I didn't fail him!

Jennifer laughs nervously: Thank you.

Gianni: Alright, can we break up this welcome wagon?

Emmitt: How about you two head up to your room and get settled?

Bria: Yes, we've still got work to do. The rest of the fam will be trickling in in the next couple of days.

Gianni laughs: Back to work, people. There she goes cracking the whip!

Bria: You'll be working, too, sir! Don't get too comfortable!

Before departing, Bria and Gianni share a look which conveys a message only they can hear.

Gianni: So?

Bria: I like her. You did good.

Gianni: Thanks, I do, too.

[staawberru]

my childhood friend wrote a gay omegaverse faction about me! chapter 9

chapter one | next chapter | last chapter | masterlist

Your pov

    You followed Payton around long enough to find yourself at Abo High. It was the same school listed on Geo’s ID so you assumed you went there too, because what else could you do? There were a lot of gray people here, none as developed as Payton; the annoying girl, or Preston; the flirty boy. You sadly overheard them talking, even though it wasn’t that hard Payton was practically yelling. You still haven’t learned the quiet boy’s name who’s next to Preston, though. He looked uncomfortable, well you assumed he was, because he kept tensing up. 

    Geo was just following you like a lost puppy as you walked, it was kinda funny at first, but now it was just getting annoying. Like, has he ever heard of personal space? But, you guess he has a pass because he saved you. 

    “What are you doing out of school?” A voice boomed. Geez, way to burst your eardrums. You looked over and saw a buff gray man, dang he was big, and kinda menacing. He was yelling at Payton, and she didn’t even look at him, just walking past. 

     “Don’t ignore me you brat!” He yelled.

     “Remember who pays your bills!” She yelled back, over her shoulder. He stopped. That really worked? He just gave up? Damn, how rich is she? And what guard just gives up? You look over at him and he's back to standing idly at his post, unmoving and unblinking. 

    “Geo,” you asked, still watching the guard. He looked at you. “Is this our school?”

    “I’m not sure,” he whispered. His gaze drifted to the school in thought. You rolled your eyes. Well you and him are already here, there’s no point heading back into the city. 

     Thankfully the guard didn’t bother us when we went into the school, even though we were an extra five minutes late. Maybe he just hates Payton. Walking into the school was interesting, the hallway completely packed, like any normal high school, but everyone was making way for Payton like she was some type of leader. They were all gawking at her. Was she really that famous? Geo grabbed your hand, and your head snapped towards him.

     “What are you doing?” You asked, glared. He seemed to understand you didn’t like it, because he let you go. 

    “I’m sorry, you looked stressed.” He said, seemingly genuine enough. You looked at him, you wanted to get mad at him but you couldn’t. Were you stressed, angry, or confused? You didn’t like feeling like this, you hated it, but you do, and you can’t deny it anymore. God, you really hated this, you were so tired.

    “Don’t apologize,” you demand. You hate people who apologize for everything, it’s like a pet peeve. Jobie was like that. Well, before he went psycho anyway. You’d tell him to stop saying sorry multiple times, but of course he never listened.

    Maybe Geo reminds you of Jobie, in a good way of course. Maybe you liked having someone look up to you like Jobie. Maybe you miss Jobie? No, you don’t, you don’t miss someone who doesn’t listen when you tell him to stop. Never. It’s missing being the one in control, probably. Dang you don’t remember being this heavy. Or tired. Or the world being this wonky.

    “Hey, are you okay?” Geo asked. You look at him, or at least you think you do, your eyes are acting up a bit right now. Why wouldn’t you be okay? Why can’t you talk? Why are you moving? You're not telling yourself to move. Oh, now you're falling. 

-

    “Wake up,” Something padded your face. It felt soft. “Wake up,” you felt something heavy land on your chest. 

     “Ugh, come on fuckface, wake up.” Something… bit your elbow? And then bit it again. What the hell? The feeling stopped, maybe it was just your imagination. Whatever, you're just going back to sleep.

   “Don’t make me do it,” a voice called out. Okay, someone’s definitely there. You sit up and see a gray cat about to chomp down hard on your toe, tiny jaw wide open. It quickly stops, sitting up like nothing happened.

    “Oh you're up,” the cat says casually, like it hadn’t just been trying to eat your toe. It sat down and stared at you. You stared back. Why is the cat talking? What is happening? Oh, you must be dreaming. The cat stretched and walked up to you, still just staring. It looked a bit like the devil to be honest. You can’t place it, but something about it was sinister.

    “Oh! [last name],” a woman’s voice called out. “Are you doing alright? Do you still feel dizzy at all?” 

     “No?” You look at her, does she not notice the cat on the bed? Wouldn’t it be a health concern? 

     “She can’t see me [name],” the cat said. How does it know your name? She said your last name, so it doesn’t make sense?

    “Uh yeah I’m good, I’m good, I’m just going to go,” you got up. You look back at the cat. It was cleaning itself. Disgusting.

     “Oh, alright. Well, your friend is in the waiting room, meet up with him and go off to class ok?” She smiled, a tinge of concern in her expression. Friend? Oh, Geo, he waited for you? What a nice surprise. 

    “[name] are you ok?” Geo rushed over to you and hugged you. It was kinda weird, he seemed a bit different, somehow.

    “Yeah, okay,” you say awkwardly, peeling off his arms. He frowned. 

    “Um, well we should go to class,” you say. You don’t know your classes, but that doesn’t matter. There was something uncomfortable about what you’re feeling. Whatever.

    “Oh! Before you go, I have something for your parents to sign.” The nurse said, smiling. She handed you a letter, You eyed it suspiciously, but you took it. 

    “Come on Geo,” you walk away, accidentally slamming the door. The door opened again. Oops, you must have slammed the door on Geo's face. Oh well, you’re not going to apologize, it’s his fault for following you.

    The hallways all look the same, this sucks. All you want to do is get out of this godforsaken school. You don’t know if Geo was still following you, but that was honestly the least of your problems. The main problem is that damn letter.

     “[name]!” Geo panted. “You're going too fast!” You look back at Geo, he was a leap away. Sighing, you wait for him to catch up.

     “Gosh you're fast, also, where are you going?” He questions. 

     “Outside, hopefully,” you continue to walk.

     “Oh um, are you okay?” He asked.

     “Yes.”

     “Really?”

     “Of course I’m fucking fine,” you snap. You can’t deal with someone pestering you right now. This school is starting to suffocate you. 

    “[name],” Geo whispered. “Please talk to me about it.”

    “No,” you glare. You turn and continue to look for the exit to this giant fucking building. Once you turn around the corner, Geo's voice breaks the silence.

    “Oh come on angel, why do you keep running from me?” Geo smiled creepily. 

    “You know he’s never going to love you,” the cat said, cleaning his paw.

    “Oh, you're here,” he glared at the cat.

    “Of course I am, it’s my job to protect him, and that includes protecting him from you.” Geo rolled his eyes. 

     “I just don’t get it, he’s all over Geo but as soon as I come out to play he runs away like a little coward.” Geo frowned.

     “Maybe he recognizes what a shitty person you are.” 

     “Oh shut up, he loves me.”

     “Does he? Or is that just a delusion you tell yourself to make sure you don’t go completely insane.” The cat sat up. “Well I better go back to stalking him for your selfish desires.” 

       “I could delete you, cat.” He threatened.

      “Oh really? Who would do the stalking for you perv?”

      “I would.”

      “Oh and how has that turned out?” The cat smirked. “Just give his body back and I’ll do all the hard work, mmkay? You can just go back to lazing around.” The cat walked off towards your direction. Geo glared at him.

      “I could end you any day, you know that, cat?” Geo threatened. “And replaced you with a nice little dog, who doesn’t have the ability to talk back.”

      “Okay, you do that.” The cat rolled his eyes, stalking off.

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 434 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made and the collages.)

OK, GONNA GO THROUGH THIS QUICK THIS TIME AND ONLY GONNA SHED LIGHT ON THE PARTS IN THIS CHAPTER THAT CAUGHT MY EYES. 👁👁

Last chapter was CRAZY MAN. WTHHHH

DAMN SHE EVEN HIT HIM WITH THE SMACK 😭😭😭

“GRANDMA CHILL! I SWEAR IMMA BRING YOU CLOTHES NEXT TIME-” 💀💀💀

Um… wtf? 😀

LOOK AT BABY BOY, USING HIS OWN ACTING SKILLS LIKE THAT. 😩😩💓💓💓 Or is he actually crying? Idk, can't tell. Oh, and “Grandma bullied me, mom.” 😐

HOW DOES SHE KNOW CHARLES CHOI??? MF A CELEBRITY AROUND THESE STREETS. Him and Jinyeong both bruv. 😭😭😭 (Also, “Too late mom. Already met him and he attempted to kill me too.” /j Charles Choi and Grandma would make a perfect couple. 😌✨)

Awww, is that baby Daniel? 😭 Also, wait a damn minute. Why does he look like...

I'M SORRY, BUT HE REMINDED ME OF THIS CHEEP CHEEP FROM MARIO KART. B R U H. THEY LOOK ALIKE. 😭😭😭😭

The typos on here. 😅 "Choio" DFJKDSAHFKLSHDSJLKF SORRY. The first time I was reading this, I had to reread because I thought I was crazy for a sec.

DANG, WE'VE BEEN GETTING A LOT OF NEW CHARACTERS WITH GLASSES RECENTLY. First that ONE HOT LADY from Tiger Job Center, then that ATTRACTIVE DOCTOR who was with Goo, and then NOW A POLICE OFFICER??? PTJ TRYING TO BRING OUT MORE GLASSES REPRESENTATION. 😩💘

UMMMM SIR??? YOU'RE GETTING SHITTED ON. LITERALLY!!!! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

You guys wish you were that cow, huh...? 👀 Yeah, I see you. You can't fool me...

Woah, woah, woah, woah... RUN THAT BY ME REALY QUICK?!?! AYO, WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A HORROR MOVIE? WHAT IS THIS, CHILDREN OF THE CORN? 1922???? 👁👁

Aw shit. Danny boy is gonna get gang.... (banged). SORRY. I CAN'T HELP IT-

OMG DANIEL. BEAT THEM UPPP!!!! 😤😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

Dude. Why did I think this was Zack Lee for a second? 😳😳 (Zack and Gun if they had a child together LMFAO) ALSO THIS NEW GUY IS HOT AF. WHO IS HEEEEEE??? 😩🔥🔥🔥 (And we haven't gotten any naked scenes ever since Samuel, so is PTJ giving us some fan service since Samuel can't do the job right now...? 👀)

WTH IS HE IN A TUB FULL OF SNAKES? N A K E D ? 😳 I mean... if he's into getting his thing bitten- 👀 NAH, NAH, NAH, IM KIDDING, I SWEAR. 😭😭😭😭

I don't blame you if you stared at him for more than a minute.

Omg Daniel embodying his 😵 phase. BUT FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK. THIS MAN IS BACK!!!!! HE'S FUCKING BACCCKKKKK. AEEEUUUUGGHHHHH. HE STILL LOOKS SEXY AF EVEN IF THIS IS JUST A FLASHBACK. 🥴🥴🥴🥴

YOU BET YOUR ASSES, I WILL SIMP OVER THIS MAN. H A R D.

*N S F W M E M E S W A R N I N G*

I DON'T WANNA SPIT, I WANNA GULP. I WANNA GAG, I WANNA CHOKE. I WANT YOU TO TOUCH THAT LIL' DANGLY THING THAT SWING IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GETTING FLASHBACKS WHEN GUN HAD TO BEAT UP SAMUEL AND TELL HIM OFF. 😭😭😭😭

I can just imagine that horrifying face of his. Smiling so menacingly with those terrifying eyes. Like yessss king, go crazy!!! 😍😍😍

LOOK AT THESE DAREDEVILS. DAAAAAAAMN. TERRIFYING AS HELL. 🤭 DANNY BOY REALLY GOT IT FROM GUN FRFR. (Ugh, like father like son. Daniel could be my son- I mean, what? 😀)

I FUCKING KNEW IT. THIS FOUR EYED MF WAS SHADY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!! LIKE WHY TF WAS THAT CREEP STANDING THERE BEHIND HIM AND DANIEL, LOOKING LIKE ONE OF THEM PSYCHO NPC'S FROM OUTLAST 2 ????? BRUH GOT ME FUCKED UP. 😤😤😤

Ok, but why does this mf look like a DILF??? HE LOOKS LIKE A MIXTURE OF MANAGER KIM FROM HIS OWN WEBTOON AND ELITE WHEN HE WAS STILL YOUNG. LMFAAOOOOOO (I'm deadass ab this. They're attractive ngl.) AND WHY DO THE VILLAINS LOOK HOT AF? I'M NOT AGAINST IT, BUT I FEEL LIKE PTJ IS INTO SEXY VILLAINS. HE HAS A KINK FOR THEM. AND HE B R E A T H E S THEM. IN AND OUT. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 (Update: I guess Kwak Jichang LITERALLY IS a piece of shit. Think about it… 💩)

ANYWAYS, we finna see who these Chungcheon mf's are next chapter. Hopefully, we get to know what the deal is with these people hating on Jinyeong. Bc I STG, IF THIS DRAGS OUT FOR THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS, I’M GONNA LOSE IT. 😠😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

[paulinawoodpecker]

Tad the lost explorer and the crystal’s odyssey bloopers

(Warning: very funny)

@jycjakkiyoutubechannels

The signal:

Kenny: Mr Sam man! Wait. Sam man?

Kevin: let’s try that again.

Kenny: pickle man! Wait pickle man?

All: *laughs*

Kenny: am I fired?

The florist

Flora: here. Nice roses with perfect scent of-

Tad: *sneezes*

Flora: no! My Flowers!

Tad: *laughs*

Tad: I’m so sorry flora!

Ramirez: oh my gosh tad! Why!

Flora: *shakes her head*

The side car:

Mika: are you sure it can fit you?

Tad: of course it would-

Tad: *fell with his butt on the floor*

Tad and Mika: …

Tad and Mika: *laughs*

The broken wheel

Pickles: don’t worry guys! I got us-

Pickles: *the wheel broke*

Jack: oh my god Sam!

Pickles: *laughs*

Loose pants

Reena: ready!

Tad: ready…

Reena: go!

Reena hold his belt but his pants fell

Jasmine: oh my gyatt!

Reena: *laughs*

Reena: no bro! Why?!

Amy: that must be so embarrassing!

Tad: *in embarrassment*

The break up:

Pickles: dang, Tiffany…I’m really sorry.

Pickles: *coughs*

Tiffany: *laughs*

Tiffany: it so hard to cry and laugh at the same time!

Pickles: I’m so sorry. Tiffany. I’m so sorry.

Like father like son:

Lukas: and you dare hurt my girlfriends feelings-

Pickles: ow! My back!

Lukas: you okay?

Pickles: no!

Lukas: anyways like what I was saying-

Lukas: ow! My back!

Pickles: no! No you did not!

Max: *laughs*

Meditation:

Chai: inner peace…

~growl~

Chai: MR STONES! WAS THAT YOU!

Tad: sorry chai!

Chai: *shakes her head*

The Antidote Mishap:

Tad: Uh… I don’t feel so…

Director: Cut! Tad, you’re supposed to look like you’re suffering from food poisoning, not confused!

Tad: *laughs nervously* I was just trying to figure out if it tasted like chicken soup or rat poison.

Sara: *off screen* It’s supposed to taste like chicken soup!

Tad: Well, I didn’t get the memo, apparently.

The Queen Bee Catfight:

Tiffany: *dramatically laughs evilly*

Ying: Oops! *Sword falls to the ground with a loud clink*

Andrea: Really, Ying? You had one job…

Blair: Well, it’s not like Tiffany’s timing is any better—didn’t she just evilly laugh like three times in a row?

Tiffany: I was emotional, okay?! I’m supposed to be the villain!

The Chase Scene:

Tad: I’m getting too old for this!

Reena: You’re… you’re like, 30! Ish…I don’t know how old you are!

Tad: *out of breath* Exactly, it’s too old for this!

Tad: *lies down*

Victoria: You can’t be tired already, Tad, we’re not even halfway through the scene!

Tad: I have a severe case of food poisoning, I’m allowed a break!

The “daddy” Mishap:

Tiffany: DADDDY!!!

Tiffany’s voice crackles and the microphone picks up a strange noise.

Director: What was that, Tiffany? Did your voice just break?

Tiffany: I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen… Can we do it again?

Reena: *mocking* DADDY!!! That’s your cue, Tiffany.

Tiffany: 💢 Okay, okay, but no more ‘Daddy’ jokes, I beg of you!

Victoria’s “Serious” Moment:

Scene: Victoria Moon is being super serious while explaining the mission to the group.

Victoria: We must save Tad and stop Tiffany Mordon before it’s too late.

Reena: *whispers to Sara* She looks like she’s about to give a TED Talk.

Sara: *whispering back* Well, she has the dramatic pauses down.

Victoria: You—stop interrupting me, or we’re doomed.

Tad’s Upset Stomach:

Scene: Tad is doubled over in pain after drinking the antidote, clutching his stomach.

Tad: Ugh, my stomach’s making noises like a thunderstorm…

Tiffany maze: don’t worry. It’ll pass.

Tad: pass? You think this would pass?

Ramona: Do you need a real medicine or just some… sound effects?

Tad: Actually, can someone pass me the real antidote? I think I’ve got a full-on storm brewing here.

All: no!

All: *explains to tad that he’s mistaken*

Lukas: dude! It’s not part of the script!

Tad: sorry guys!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e15 man's best friend with benefits (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

i enjoy a good play on words as much as the next person but combining dog and sex for your episode name is an interesting choice

well dang, indoor pool and sauna? i wanna go

DEAN 'Cause you did just gank a Hellhound, which is no slice of pie, and, uh, there is a mine field of who knows what crap ahead. Just want to make sure that you are okay. SAM I'm good. DEAN 'Cause, you know, we could find another devil dog. You could tag out. I could snuff the son of a bitch.

so i viewed this as him just trying to protect sam but now i see

i've never had such shifting opinions on a tv person's hair like i do sam's. at least half the time i actively dislike it. at most 5-10% of the time, i think damn it looks good! this shot in particular was one of the special few. his hair is beautiful, the styling/cut is what lets it down when it does

i sure hope he's not hallucinating again because that'd be a cruel trick. hmm, also in my musings adjacent to fuckup vs righteous man, i've thought about how they show sam's suffering onscreen a lot (mystery spot [lol i won't let it go], hallucifer, whatever the trials shit is gonna be) but dean we get the emotional suffering aftermath. sidenote, logistically made sense for a whole bucket of reasons of course, but (for me, personally) thank goodness dean's hell experience was offscreen almost entirely.

sounds like padalecki is sick

um. a doberman that transformed into a black woman. with the huge sparkly bright pink dog collar still on

and this white dude witch is her master?? wtffff. don't really care what backpedaling they do, that was a shitty choice

DEAN Well, I'm concerned. SAM Concerned about the, uh -- the witch-killing spell... or that I'm gonna mess these trials up? DEAN Look, we get too far down the road with this, we can't go back, and it'll be too late for me to jump in. SAM Who says that you're gonna have to? You know, maybe I'll actually pull this one off. DEAN I'm just saying. SAM I know what you're saying, Dean. You've said it. You know, I've been going over this and over this, asking myself "why doesn't he trust me?" And it occurred to me, finally. It's not that you don't trust me. It's that you can only trust you. DEAN Are you done? SAM Yeah, I'm done if you're done.

ugh 💔 and to be so forthright telling him how he keeps asking himself why dean doesn't trust him. and the super quick "i'm done if you're done" response has such a particular flavor of... well. something i'm very familiar with. the vulnerability of showing that he's hurt over not being trusted, that it isn't just anger, and dean basically ignoring it.. feeling of inside, shut that shit down asap and move on. don't know what he was going for particularly but it struck a chord obviously for me

phillippe LeChat. 🥴

????????

like, we can't have dean or sam fucking anyone at the moment so we're just gonna have these two do it. was there a sex scene quotient that needed to be filled?

episode title way more literal than i expected.

DEAN I got to ask. I-I can't help but wonder -- PORTIA Which came first, dog or girl? DEAN Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm just curious as to which one you consider yourself, mostly. PORTIA This have anything to do with what I told you about James and me last night? How you're imagining it? DEAN What? No, that's... yes.

dean said (sentient) dogfucker rights?

SAM Oh, by the way, got to hand it to you. It's been 15 hours since Portia mentioned her night with James, and not one bestiality joke outta ya.

not for us though

wonder how many times i miss that he's messing with the scar on his hand

okay.

geez i shouldn't have mentioned onscreen suffering. and using the clip of dean calling out for sam from hell on the hooks..... extra rude.

DEAN Well, it's possible I was wrong. SAM What, about James? Dude, we were both ready to gank the guy. DEAN No, that's not what I meant. Back there, when Spencer had us. He screwed with my head. I saw mom… When she died… And then some other crap. SAM Yeah. Me, too. DEAN You know, when I look back at what our family's been through, what everybody's been through, seeing all that pain… I realize that the only way we've made it through it all is by hanging together. I trust you, Sammy. With this deal, locking those sons of bitches up in the furnace once and for all, it's too important not to. So if you say you're good... then that's it. I'm with you 100%.

i'm all ♥️♥️♥️ and then immediately sam hides he's coughing up blood. okay.

that's the thing with this show, the bad plot writing whatever episodes will still have some mushy fucking brother conversations i wouldn't want to miss! like the reviled bugs episode, that had some high quality brother content

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is i watched all the nct episodes of Jonathon (i do not know his full name but that's all they call him so idk) and fuck i forgot how funny dream are. chenle is my little dude, i want to be the kind of besties with him where we talk once a month but we know everything about everything and have very strong opinions. i wanna get tipsy and gossip with him and talk shit about everyone i know

Hiii, I have only seen clips of them here and there I actually haven't watched any kpop content except Riize in the haunted house there was screaming and running, my attention span has been horrible lately so certain things lose me. I literally just went to search for the episode you're talking about then I got a random thought and began to move my whole room around and i realized i moved my bed far from any outlets so i ordered a 6ft charger instead of moving my bed again. Now I'm listening to country music instead. The only thing I can watch longer than 10 minutes is Trisha Paytas podcast cause she talks fast and jumps all over the place with subjects it's the perfect pace to me. so anything with subtitles, my brain can't do it. That was so long winded for an unnecessary statement but I do know dreamies are just a bunch of ridiculous little guys. Chenle always gets so passionate in conversations especially their silly debates. Him and Jaemin get so enthralled and little stressed. But also they're just silly and goofy. And like a sleepover with them would be so fun. I would also love to see just Wayv and Dream together, I don't think we've seen just all of dream and all of wayv together just fooling around. I want that so much.

Random daily side note, is there something going on with the planets because random men from my past have been popping up there's some I haven't spoken to in months to years!! They've randomly popped up asking if I'm single, what's going on? Can they see me? Like I just ignore it at this point there might be one guy I would hear out if he reached out but all the others ugh. Why are they here. My period is on the horizon so I might just be extra irritated plus I only want to eat cashews so I bought a pound and that is indeed all I've been eating. Also Wonbin finally happened upon me, seeing him screaming for his life made me see him differently. I literally just said not long ago I love pathetic men, If a guy shows a little patheticness, he got me. Like the only guy from my past id give another chance, laid on my chest for an hour while I ran my fingers through his hair and was so sweet and nervous and when he said "dang it" when he missed a turn and was excited he ended up covered in glitter by me, oh come to me you lanky long haired pathetic man. There's another thing that happened but I shouldn't say it in public but he's the only one I'd even consider meeting up with again only him. Just like hyunjin, Wonbin screaming in the haunted house unlocked my feelings for him.

[kithtaehyung]

I'm reporting live from the trenches aka hiding in sweatpants guy's office to read the 3tanbbq and!!!I loved it so much it made me feel so many raw emotions! And I'm not only talking about the pure horniness and yearning between yoongi and reader, I'm tlaking about the bittersweet feeling of a sweet summer day with your loved ones, eating drinking swimming and just enjoying each other's company❤ yoongi and reader being horny on main was just the cherry on top🥵 if reader had let him, he definitely would have made them try on different sundresses and tear them all off of them🥵 I loved seeing all of them characters interact with each other and laughing and making fun of shiv and bro (lovingly)!!! I love seeing glimpses of the vmin secret romance and their love child yeontan😍 THE CLAW MARKS AND LOVE MARKS ON YOONGI THO THAT'S A WHILE DIFFERENT STORY I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE CONCEPT OF THIS MAN HAVING HIS FLAWLESS SKIN MARKED FROM HIS LOVER🧍‍♀️ and ryen I would LOVE to read about what happens next but I'm trying to compose myself bc I am this close🤏 to start kicking my feet and I might actually kick sweatpants guy's shin in the process🧍‍♀️ ily and I love 3tan!!!!! -3tandream

AHHH DREAM! i'm so dang late to answering asks so forgive me :')) you read bbq so quick argh thank you so much! i'm glad you were able to enjoy it (from his office???) and that you felt the feeling of a summer day<3 i wanted this one to be fun and if that's what you got from it, then hell yeah.

LMFAO yoongi and reader.... my god. they are adorable istg. also that comment about the sundresses HELLO?? i'm sliding down my gd wall rn.

the characters got to interact with each other!! compare this to fireworks when all the friend groups were separate :'))) puts things into perspective, doesn't it? and glimpses of shiv and bro and vmin and all the friends.. ugh. love them all.

THE MARKS ON HIS BACK I KNOWW oh god. of course people were gonna notice those... and yet, he still wore a tank. interesting choice by him, don't you think? makes you go hmmmmmm..

thank you for reading and lollipop is coming! mwahaha and we're all gonna perish hope you're ready :))

[palialaina]

Jel said I'd look good in yellows, so I thought I'd try it out. Uncle B promptly called me a sundrop. Not Sure If Like.

Tish has the most gorgeous bed every now and again and Man. I want that. I don't have room for it yet, but I want it.

Also, I am so tired. Everything I did involved arms and back, and climbing and gliding, and I just want a hot soak. Zeki's prices on those 'flow' bathtubs are ridiculous though. Maybe Tish has an idea on something I can use, or Auntie Del.

If nothing else, while losing a fight to a fish (stupid marlin) I did apparently impress Einar enough that he told me how to make a new rod. Naturally, onceI had it, there was no sign of the marlin. Coward fish! I'll catch that butthead yet!

I did, however, finally find the dang stripeshell snail! Lucky accident while I was beachcombing but I caught it, and now it's in that thing in the temple so now that's two for all of em!

I was talking to Dad earlier too. He's really good to talk with, about all kinds of stuff. Somehow, we got on the topic of art... I think I was talking about how Jel is a master with his needle and thread, even if he doesn't believe it, and Dad asked what sort of art I liked to make.

It stumped more for a bit because since I've been here, I haven't really had the time to do that. I have vague memories of liking to draw, but what I really like is music. I haven't told Unble B yet that sometimes I sneak over and listen to him playing his lute in the barn...

So I said music, and Dad said we should look into finding me a musical instrument! Man, I would love that, I think. Or even just some sheet music, something to sing... I mean, I make up silly songs all the time while working in the garden. I think the plants like it!

Oh, I fished up a bottle earlier, that had a recipe in it. I kinda wish I'd thrown it at Reth though, because ugh, fish stew? I am not a fish person. I made grilled fish like.. once, and it was instant regret. I think I threw it at Zeki, with my blessing... Even the beachcombing stuff, the oysters, I basically chuck all the meat into the oyster farm so I don't have to deal with it.

Jina and Tish both asked me in different ways if I'd been feeling a bit down lately, and I can't pretend I don't. I'm getting better at talking to a lot of the villagers, but I still feel really awkward, and there's still a lot of things I feel like I can't do either with or for them. I mean, I passed all of Eshe's tests and stuff, but all that does is let her see that I can abide by the village laws and stuff. It doesn't really help me make friends or anything.

Mneh. I'm probably overthinking it. Tish is right, Jina and I are a lot alike...

The good points for today were the fishing pole, I also got the iron pickaxe recipe from Hodari, sort of resolved a fight between him and Najuma (I get his point, she's young, but all he's gonna do is make her more determined), talked with Tamala a few times, uh... oh, I chased down a teleporting Sernuk (Are those proudhorns? I can't tell...) all by myself! That was a lot of arrows! I guess it impressed Hassian a bit, cause next thing I know, there's chappa fur in my mailbox from him.

Sure, his note was brusque, but that's just Hassian...

Oh, and Uncle B taught me how to make a preserves jar! I don't have any fruit yet, but I can pickle things like carrots and potatoes now! If that ups the price, I might have to make a few more!

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 037: Morbius, Empathoid, Glory Grant (SSM 6-8)

MASTERPOST

What do we have this time?

Oh. Well, at least we get some Glory Grant development!

So Spectacular Spider-Man 6 is...

Ah. Not only does it feature Morbius, but it's a retelling from an issue I already skimmed through? And I think redoing an early issue, especially this early in your magazine, is not very smart.

Aware of Morbius's return, Johnny thinks to himself, "Maybe it's time Spidey and I teamed up again", to which I say: no! Absolutely not!!!!!

Anyway, SS6 is pretty much what I remembered from MTU3 so let's ignore it.

I wouldn't say "much better", no... It's still too early to tell, I think, but I think both are subpar at the moment. It feels disappointing after the high stakes personal lives of the cast in Conway's run.

Anyway, #7 features Morbius again! But first, Spidey barges in the bar where the man who hired the Hitman (...) is.

Okay, that's funny.

Peter later retrieves his suit from behind an air vent and notices a bit too late that it smells really, really strong. How embarrassing.

Flash also has his own storyline, still obsessed about Sha-Shan. He sees her again, above the restaurant where she works, at the window. It wasn't just a hallucination! But he's being followed...

What the fuck, man.

Anyway, at the Bugle, Glory tells the audience that Peter and her decided to do groceries together to reduce costs. She's waiting for him to leave, but Morbius barges in!

I really enjoy what little characterization we get of her.

While Spidey and Morbius fight, we get some much needed fluff. There's been a drought, lately!

The fight continues, and then it's revealed that Morbius is actually possessed by a villain called the Empathoid.

Okay. Alright. Let's see where this is going.

Where's Peter, where's the spectacular? Certainly not here.

Okay, yes, this is what I'm talking about! And Flash does find Sha-Shan! This storyline is finally progressing.

Oh dang. They had to give love trouble to *somebody*, I guess.

Compelling drama, yay!

On Spidey's side, the Empathoid takes a (almost) physical form, as Morbius is exhausted.

We don't care about the Empathoid's backstory, what matters is that he stays in Peter's body. Years before the symbiote!

It's actually fun, it's almost like a partner.

Morbius and Spidey fight again, but our hero has other plans...

To be fair, I, too, would ruin a football game if I had an excuse for it.

Overwhelmed by everybody's emotions, the Empathoid overdoses and dies. Spidey drops the body at the Fantastic Four's, and Morbius escapes. Ugh.

Overall, that issue was fine, but I never feel satisfied with those issues, sadly.

In the next batch: Nova! Whoever the hell that is.

[tfw-no-tennis]

Greetings, comrade LJ! I am about to start college in a month and I was wondering if you could bless me with some wisdom on how to survive my first semester! (Feel free to publish this tbh some other youngins might need the help too)

oh my god i am SO sorry i just saw this, tungle literally never told me i recieved this what the hell!!! i will happily give you some wisdom even if youve already started college oh man im sorry. hopefully this still helps!!! for reference im a biology major so some of this might not apply well to other majors lol

ok my first wisdom is to never get books unless you have to. these days, professors know most students dont actually use books so they dont bother really using the books for the tests...the exception is for labs (science labs, at least) where you typically will need to buy the lab guide to do hw and stuff. generally if you think you might need a book, wait a bit before getting it - even if the professor says you ABSOLUTELY need it. sometimes they just have to say that but you wont really need it. if you can, rent, and rent used! books are generally a waste, the way they get your money nowadays is HW access codes. yes....paying to do HW. how great 

ratemyprofessor is a fantastic resource, but do be wary of certain reviews - students can be salty about failing a class and give a bad review for a professor who doesnt deserve it. also, make sure you're looking at the correct class (upper left corner of the review) for the professor 

if you can, make friends in a class and work together on stuff (hw, quizzes), and then you can share notes if one of you misses class and stuff

in terms of missing class, id say its up to your judgment if you skip or not - it honestly depends on the class. some classes i barely went to, some i never missed. freshman year i barely skipped class (probably a good idea as you get the feel of it) but once you go on, you'll be able to tell if you need to go to class (generally if the professor just teaches from ppts and doesn't require attendance, you might be able to miss. depends on how you learn tho!) 

labs you generally cant miss (again, science labs) or youll like get set on fire or something. its bad. you can usually make it up with an excuse or if you know ahead of time, tho 

be friends with your professors and TAs! go to office hours! especially if you're planning or grad/professional school and want rec letters. altho!! dont stress abt future plans too much. you really, really have time. theres no rush to go to school after undergrad at all so if you dont have your shit together. DONT WORRY

this has probably become irrelevant for you but id suggest leaving waaaay early for your first day of class so you can find your classroom ok and get a good seat

free stuff is lit. get free stuff whenever you can. if you find a pen somewhere? take it its yours now

if you do well in a class and enjoy it, id suggest trying to become a tutor for it. you probably make some money, its not usually too much work, and you enjoy it if thats the kind of thing you're into. its especially helpful if youre planning on going into something relating to that subject someday, so then you can keep up to date on it

getting involved is also a good idea!! theres so many clubs and stuff at universities, so theres usually something for everyone. it can be scary going alone, but youll usually end up meeting people there. theres typically not too much pressure to keep coming consistently, so if you need time off from a club you can take it easily.  

libraries can be a great place to study dont knock em i sure did until like last year which was a mistake. imo focusing is easier in a library than in my room, that might just be me tho!!

cliques arent really a ‘thing,’ you might end up with a friend group or two but college is not nearly as cliquey as HS. i have a lot of friends now who i KNOW i wouldnt have even talked to in HS just based on the fact that we wouldve run in different social circles back then. dont limit yourself by thinking ‘oh, we’re too different’ or something, you’d be surprised how well you click with people you didnt think youd get along with!

cafeteria food,,...is usually bad. it tends to be a lot better when theres tours going on, so try to remember that lol

this is already so long im sorry lol, ill stop here but let me know if you (or anyone else reading this) have any questions or want any specific advice!! im a senior in college now so im basically an expert lol (though my knowledge is limited by certain things like being a STEM major, living on campus without a car, living away from home, etc) but i love talking about stuff like this!!!! i wish you the best of luck in college and again im really sorry i didnt see this until like 2 months after you sent it, i hope college is going well for you!!! and for everyone else who started recently!!! also ill tag you to make sure you see this, i cant remember if it alerts you lol @rated-r-for-grantaire

[vinceaddams]

I sure do love to go to the thrift store and acquire things!! Today I got a broken (?) little wooden music box, a couple pieces of fabric (one dark pink cotton jacquard and one dark brown and gold sari silk) and also a plate with a picture of the Hartland covered bridge on it. That's the longest covered bridge in the world, and I've walked across it, and now I can eat sandwiches off it's monochromatic blue image.

[suguruverse]

— HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU PULL A APRIL FOOLS PRANK ON THEM

includes - suna rintarou, oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime and bokuto koutaro

a/n - don’t ask why i posted this a day late but pls enjoy <33

published date - 02/04/21

↳ SUNA RINTAROU

- sick of your bullshit 1.0

- he thought you just making his lunch like you normally do

- he often said that you didn’t need to but he always looks forward to lunch time when he gets to see what you made him

- so today when you made him lunch, he was not suspicious at all

- when he took a bite, he was like why? is? it? so? spicy?

- but he remained calm and just kept eating

- and by the time he was half way through his lunch is was sweating buckets

- his face was red, he was aggressively blowing his nose, sweat was dripping down his face and he was chugging bottles of water like it was nothing

- he didn’t even suspect that it was a prank, just that you have weirdly high spice tolerance

- his teammates were getting a little bit worried, seeing him stick out his tongue like a dog and fanning his face like his life depended on it

- yeah, you guys were gonna have a long conversation at home

- he had just finished his 4th water bottle when he received a text from you

lol text convo - sunas pov

m’lady: how’s the food baby? :)

me: why’s it so spicy

me: it tastes good but i think i’m dying

me: laugh out loud

m’lady: dang i didn’t think it would be THAT spicy

me: huh?

m’lady: happy april fools??

me: fuck you

m’lady: is that a promise?? 🥺🥺

me: shut up i’m crying rn

m’lady: then come home you dramatic bitch

me: i’ll remember this day you damn brat

- in conclusion pranking him sucks and he always gets you back for it

- except his pranks are 100% worse and probably emotionally traumatising

↳ OIKAWA TOORU

- this man istg he is so annoying

- this man is so needy and dramatic

- but that’s probably why you decided to do this

- he just has the best reactions for pranks

- yeah nah i have no idea what you were thinking when you decided to do this

- ditching a date with your boyfriend to hang out with your friends??

- um big mistake

“my love, are you ready for our dinner date yet?”

- yeah you weren’t, babes we going clubbing, but he didn’t know that

- and plus your outfit didn’t really speak ‘fancy dinner’

“oh tooru!! great, i need your opinions! what do you think of my outfit”

“darling, you look absolutely stunning, but a bit much for a dinner date don’t you think?”

“baby what? i’m going out with friends tonight, to the club, but don’t worry, i’ll be home early”

“my love?? we had a date tonight. did you forget? we’ve been planning this for awhile”

“tooru, what’re you talking about? i told you i was gonna go out ages ago”

“oh but-“

“oh shit tooru, i’m late, i gotta go, i’ll see you later okay? see you later my love”

- and you left, leaving your boyfriend heartbroken

- he literally dropped onto the floor clutching his chest hoping you would come home and see him, then cuddle him until the morning

- and there he laid for another 10 minutes in disgust

- how dare you leave your precious boyfriend for your friends

- you decided you were done pranking him so you enter your apartment to your boyfriend cracking open a new vodka bottle

“tooru!”

“oh... it’s you”

“um yeah”

“i thought you were going out with your friends. what? did you finally remember about the date with your handsome boyfriend?”

“tooru”

“no go away, i’m mad”

“april fools tooru”

- when i tell you this man gave you the biggest side eye

“hmph i knew that, i just wanted to see how far you would take the prank”

“okay baby, sure you did”

“pfft darling, don’t underestimate your lovely boyfriend, so come on let’s go”

“go where”

“cuddle, obviously, i still haven’t forgiven you”

- 4/10 dont prank him, he’s annoying

↳ IWAIZUMI HAJIME

- sick of your bullshit 2.0

- he swears you’re gonna give him grey hairs during his 20’s and let’s be honest you probably are

- he just worries about you too much

- he hates seeing you hurt, sick, stressed or just uncomfortable in general

- so you were hella cruel for doing this to him

*massive thud noise lol idk*

“OW, haji, HAJI it hurts please hurry it hurts so bad”

- all of a sudden your boyfriend becomes an olympic sprinter

“doll? what’s wrong baby? did you fall? is your ankle okay? do you want me to get ice? call an ambulance?”

“haji, please i don’t know, it just hurts so bad. please make it stop”

“doll it’s okay, just breathe, can you do that for me pretty girl?”

“mhm”

“good girl, it looks like you sprained your ankle, i’ll go get some ice, okay doll?”

“please hurry haji, it hurts a lot”

“it’s okay, i’m sorry, i’ll be back super quick”

- you were gonna cry, your boyfriend was being so cute and considerate

- yeah well wait until he finds out this was a prank

- in less than 2 minutes, he came running back with an ice pack

“here doll, does this feel better?”

“mhm, thank you haji, i love you”

“i love you more, c’mon i’ll carry you to the couch”

- ugh what a man

“hey haji?”

“yeah doll? what’s up?”

“happy april fools”

“huh?”

“i’m not actually injured, it was a prank”

iwaizumi: 😐😑😐

“i should have known, you fucking brat”

“hehe sorry, can i have a hug”

“no, hug yourself”

- 202/10 bc he’s husband material and has nice arms

↳ BOKUTO KOUTARO

- babie 🥺🥺

- you always loved leaving him small motivational notes for him and he loves it so much

- he always has the biggest smile whenever he sees a note that you wrote in his lunch or his duffle bag

- but today you put like 391 notes in his bag without him noticing

- so when he arrived at practice, he was hoping to get changed into his gear but was instead greeted with a pile of notes

- he picked one up at looked at it

“you look like the scum between my toes”

- okay that was mean

- so he picked up another

“your armpits smell like blue cheese”

- he could have started crying right then and there

- so he texted you

bo’s pov

me: baby :((

my pretty baby: what’s wrong my love? did something happen at practice?

me: did you put these notes in my bag? :((

my pretty baby: i did!! happy april fools baby!!

my pretty baby: did you not like it?

me: it was mean, should i read all of it?

my pretty baby: i spent all night writing it so yes

my pretty baby: but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna, some of them are really weird and mean

me: no i wanna, you worked hard on them!!

my pretty baby: are you sure? they might hurt your feelings

me: im sure!! im stronger than you think!! :))

- the rest of msby saw some of the notes and laughed

- atsumu texted you about how funny they were

- but sakusa told you to never do it again because he doesn’t wanna deal with bokuto crying ever 

- what a babe

- 827282/10 because he’s such a sweetheart

[darthfrodophantom]

Ectoberhaunt Day 5: Ouija Board

Summary: To get into the spooky season spirit, Tucker and Sam convince Danny to play a video game late at night, and Danny isn’t pleased about the subject of the video game.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34303123 

Too Close to Home

“Let me get this straight,” Danny interrupted. “I fight ghosts - real ghosts - on a nightly basis. And now that I actually have a free night you want to take up the time that I should be sleeping to fight fake ghosts?”

He shook his head as he looked at his computer screen, the only light in his entire bedroom aside from the digital clock that showed the hour: 11:45. From the first-person view of the computer game on his screen, he watched the avatars of both of his friends attempt to throw basketballs into a hoop.

“But this is way more fun,” Tucker’s voice said over Danny’s headset. “And it hurts a lot less! Ah! Dang it Sam - you messed up my throw!”

Sam cackled triumphantly. “Better pay more attention to your timing then.”

Tucker groaned as his avatar abandoned the basketball for spray paint cans, which he chucked at Sam. “Besides Danny, we’re not fighting ghosts: we’re hunting them.”

“Fine, fight, hunt, whatever. I still do both of them,” Danny argued.

“Not like this you don’t,” Tucker grinned. “God he’s gonna get creamed.”

“You know Danny, maybe we should let you go to bed. You’re gonna ruin my perfect streak,” Sam teased.

Danny rolled his eyes. “Or maybe you’ll actually do better because you have a true ghost hunting professional on the team,” he defended. He had no idea why he was bragging - he’d just been given an out and given the late hour he should take it, but now it felt like he needed to defend his pride as a ghost hunter. …That thought sounded a little too similar to something his parents would say and he quickly dismissed it. “Besides, I played the tutorial, I know what I’m doing. I’m just trying to figure out why we’re doing this.”

“Because it’s spooky season,” Tucker replied with a hint of sarcasm.

“We are only five days into October, Tucker, and if you’re gonna keep doing this all month I am going to hit you with the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick,” Sam threatened.

“I dunno, it might be worth it,” Tucker teased. “What do you think Danny?”

Danny shook his head, even though none of them could see it. “As the only person in this group who has actually been hit by the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick, I would back off,” he advised.

“Listen to Danny Tucker,” Sam chuckled as her avatar walked over to the white board to set up the hunt. “He’s actually speaking wisdom for once. Now come over here and pick out your gear.”

The playful teasing between best friends stopped as they actually got serious and picked out the gear they would need for their mission. Since Danny had no money, he couldn’t really participate in the conversation, but it seemed like Tucker and Sam had played this enough to know what they needed to bring. Sam started the mission, and their avatars found themselves inside the trailer looking at another whiteboard.

“Alright, looks like our ghost is named Thomas Clark and he responds to all of us,” Sam informed the group while Tucker’s avatar walked over to the shelves to equip supplies.

“Well that’s a dumb name for a ghost,” Danny complained as he looked at the bulletin board next to the computer. He had to squint at his screen to read them, but the articles were fairly legible and contained ghost stories he remembered hearing his parents talk about. It also had a recent article that he actually remembered running in USA Today proclaiming Amity Park as the most haunted city in the world - he didn’t know whether to feel proud or annoyed.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sam agreed, though her voice was laced with sarcasm. “He should have gone with Thomas Phantom instead.”

Danny rolled his eyes as Tucker burst out laughing. “Oh yeah, now that sounds like a proper ghost,” Tucker added between laughs.

“I knew I was going to hate this,” Danny groaned under his breath. “Can we just get this over with?”

Sam’s avatar turned to face the new whiteboard. “Alright, fine. Objective one: find out what kind of ghost we’re dealing with - standard. Objective two: witness a ghost event.”

“I am a ghost event,” Danny smirked, causing Tucker to burst out laughing again.

“Objective three,” Sam snapped, “capture a photo of the ghost.”

Tucker’s avatar grabbed a camera and snapped a picture of Danny’s avatar. “Got one!” he proclaimed, which drove both boys into laughter.

“Objective four,” Sam said louder, “get a ghost to walk through salt.”

“What? That’s dumb. Everyone knows that’s an old wive’s tale,” Danny complained as he shook his head. Did the creators of this game actually do any real research before they made this game?

“Are you regretting this yet Sam?” Tucker asked as he finally stopped laughing.

“Let’s just get in the house,” she groaned. Danny smirked in triumph, and he could tell Tucker was sharing a similar smirk on his end.

They divided up equipment between the three of them, but not before Danny could comment on the inaccuracies of each of the pieces of equipment and how useless they’d be in an actual ghost fight. From faulty science to just being plain incorrect, Danny made sure to have pithy comments about all the equipment. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much that it had to be accurate - he was not his parents - but as a ghost and a ghost hunter, it just felt a little more personal than he wanted to admit.

Because he was the newest one, Danny got stuck with the Spirit Book (“What? Are they trying to imply all ghosts can’t write? That’s alivist!”) and the EMF Reader (“...Okay that one’s actually accurate”) because they were apparently the easiest to use. Laden down with their gear they walked up to the small house. Sam’s avatar unlocked the door and they headed inside. Danny noticed the tonal shift immediately. Outside he could hear wind and crickets chirping, but once he stepped inside the doorway, an oppressive silence covered his headphones. It reminded him of the sensation on a pressurised airplane and it unnerved and unsettled him...a lot more than he planned to admit to his friends.

“Alright, spread out,” Sam instructed. “See if you can find the ghost room.”

Ghost room, right. He remembered that from the tutorial. It had been the garage in the tutorial, so he figured he should start there. He walked back through the dark house, turning lights on as he went. It wasn’t because he was scared - absolutely not, he was a real ghost hunter! - it was just much easier to see. He pulled out the EMF reader and walked into the garage. It had an eerie quality to it, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he remembered seeing the ghost there last time (a mean looking (and inaccurate) ghost covered in blood and holding an axe) or if it was because he was alone and the room was so large, but he did not like being in here.

“You know, in the tutorial, the ghost was a bloody axe-man,” Danny remarked over the walkie talkie.

“Yeah, I think he’s standard in the tutorial,” Sam remarked offhand. He did not want to admit how good it felt to hear her voice in the oppressive silence of the house. They were clearly focused on their tasks, and that was a good thing, but it felt a lot better hearing their voices.

“Red blood,” he continued, simply to trigger more conversation. He didn’t get any EMF readings, so he gratefully left the garage. “Not ectoplasm. It’s like they didn’t even try.”

“Ugh, Danny, they’re going for a horror aesthetic, not something real,” Sam sighed.

“What? Ectoplasm-stains are horrifying,” he countered as he walked through the rest of the first story. Still no EMF readings.

“Only when it’s yours,” Sam said, and the weight of those words echoed in the silence of the house that made him stop moving for a moment. “No cold spots upstairs,” Sam informed them to break the silence.

“Yeah, no EMF downstairs,” Danny added. “I’m gonna check out the basement.” That’s where they loved to hang out in the real world, so it seemed the next best choice.

“Oh hang on, if you’re going down there I’ll go with you,” Tucker spoke up.

Danny stopped halfway down the stairs. “It’s fine, I’m pretty used to basements,” he joked weaky.

“Yeah, well the last time you went into a basement alone with untested ghost equipment you died.” Tucker said it light-heartedly as a joke, and it was one they’d said a bunch of times before, but somehow it just didn’t feel the same in this tense environment. It felt too...personal.

He waited for Tucker’s avatar to appear before they walked down the stairs together into the basement. Unlike Sam’s basement or his own, this basement had a much creepier feel to it, with the foreboding worn brick walls and discolored cement flooring. Honestly he was glad Tucker went down there with him because it just felt better having another person there.

“Sam, maybe you should get down here with the thermometer,” Tucker mentioned as they both walked through the basement. “Because we’re not--”

Danny whirled around as he heard something thud hard against the ground behind him while he jumped in his chair. The EMF reader in his hand jumped up to three dots and blared at them while he stared at a box of tools now on the ground. The ghost was clearly in the room. Danny half-expected his ghost sense to go off, but he had to remind himself it was just a video game. There wasn’t actually a ghost here.

“What happened?” Sam’s urgent voice said over the walkies.

“Ghost knocked something off the shelf down here,” Tucker said as his avatar walked over to the toolbox. “Ooh! We’ve got fingerprints!” he cheered as his avatar shined a light on a glowing handprint.

“Oh that’s so not how that works,” Danny complained, just to help lighten the mood. Honestly he felt a bit jumpy knowing that the ghost was in the room...and he couldn’t sense him. He’d dealt with invisible ghosts before, but his ghost sense always gave him a vague idea of where they were...except for now. He turned in his chair to check the room behind him. No ghosts, no ghost sense. It’s just in the computer game.

“Figures that the ghost would be in the basement,” Sam remarked as her avatar walked down the stairs and opened her journal. Right! Journal. Danny opened his and placed their one piece of evidence inside. The sooner they got all of those the sooner they could leave, and he really liked that idea.

“I’m not seeing freezing temperatures, but it is a little cooler than the rest of the house,” she continued. “So let’s start setting stuff up in here. Tucker get the DOTS up and I’ll place the camera. Danny place the spirit book.”

Okay, this wasn’t so bad with the three of them in the room. He could hear them moving around and he could see them, so it made him feel a bit better. And there was still no sign of the ghost. He put the spirit book down near the toolbox and looked away from it. Maybe the ghost wouldn’t write in it while he was watching? He didn’t know.

“Ooh!” Tucker cried excitedly.

“Did you see it in the DOTS?” Sam asked.

“No - Ouija board! Oh yeah!” Tucker cheered. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“Oh I love these,” Sam agreed. Danny’s brow furrowed as he looked at the screen. Why were they acting so happy - didn’t they forget there was a ghost in this room with them?

“Hang on, let Danny try the Ouija board,” Tucker suggested. “You know, because he’s never seen it before.”

“Ooh good idea,” Sam agreed. Danny walked over to where they were and saw Sam’s avatar set down a light brown board.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sus about your motives right now,” Danny said. He had a bad feeling about this...

“No Danny, it’s fine. These are actually pretty cool in this game,” Sam assured him. She quickly explained how the Ouija boards worked in the game and what questions to ask, and against his better judgment, he walked over and activated the board. The numbers and letters glowed orange against the light color of the wood.

He decided to start with something easy, so he swallowed and forced his voice to come out clear. “How old are you?” He jumped in his chair and his avatar backed up quickly as the planchette moved across the letters.

“Y - O - U - N - G,” Tucker read. “A young ghost.”

“Oh God, I hope that doesn’t mean it’s the crawling baby ghost,” Sam sighed. “I really hate that one.”

“Ask it something else,” Tucker encouraged.

“I don’t know,” Danny hedged. For some reason the Ouija board set him on edge. Something deep in his gut did not like this. Even if it wasn’t real and he kept telling himself it wasn’t real, he didn’t like it.

“No dude, it’s okay,” he assured him. “You can ask two questions before a significant sanity drop. Just ask it one more and you can go back to the truck.”

He very much wanted to go back to the truck. He just needed a chance to regroup. He was a ghost and fought ghosts for a living and he could not understand why this game unnerved him so much. But Danny Phantom wasn’t scared of ghosts, any kind of ghosts, and he wasn’t about to show it on a video game. “Fine,” he groaned as he picked up the board again. “Who died?”

This time he knew what to expect, and didn’t jump as much as the planchette started moving. First to the D, then to the A. Over to the N, then looping back to the N. It ended on a Y.

All three of them stopped moving. The silence became even more deafening around them. Danny dropped the Ouija board and backed up as far as the game would let him. He felt a cold sweat drip down his back. Danny. It spelled Danny. How did it know his name?

“...That has got to be a coincidence,” Sam finally said after the silence that seemed to stretch on forever.

“The ghost’s name must be Danny,” Tucker suggested, voice full of forced bravado.

“...No it’s Thomas,” Sam said slowly. “It must just be reading your username to scare you,” she decided.

“No my...my username is GhostBoy,” Danny reminded them, finally feeling like he could speak.

“Is this game actually haunted? Danny, what did you do?” Tucker accused, voice bordering on hysterics.

“What? I didn’t do anything!” Danny yelled back. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He put a hand up to feel his breath - still normal temperature. He looked around his room. There wasn’t a ghost here. But how did it know his name? And that he did almost die in a basement? “You’re the one that told me to use it!”

“Okay, let’s just calm down,” Sam interrupted. “It’s gotta be a coincidence. Let me try it and see if it says the same thing or gives me my name. It could be a new update that checks the name on the Steam account or something.”

Sam moved closer to the board, but before she could touch it all their flashlights flickered.

“Shit!” Tucker yelled.

“Run!” Sam cried in a panic.

Danny followed them up the stairs to the main level. The idea of running from a ghost, not fighting it, was so foreign to him, but he had no choice. He was powerless here. No ghost powers, no weapons, no thermos. He was completely helpless against this ghost.

He bolted for the garage, the one other room he knew how to get to. Sam’s avatar was running next to him. He could hear footsteps behind him and he swore as he ran towards the garage. Sam diverted into another room, but he continued into the garage. He found a locker he’d opened before and rushed into it. He barely remembered to turn off his flashlight and he waited. Seconds passed and he realized he was holding his breath. No...not holding his breath. Not breathing. He looked down at his hands and saw the glowing white gloves. When...when did he change into his ghost form?

Sam’s voice over the walkie startled him. “What the--? Oh my G--” The walkie feed cut to static and then nothing.

“I...I think it got Sam,” Tucker’s voice said over the walkie. Danny turned on his flashlight and saw that it was no longer blinking. He threw his head back in relief. The hunt was over. He climbed back out of his locker, keeping the door open again just in case.

“Dude, she was running right next to me. It must have followed her instead of me,” Danny told him. “Ugh, well what are we going to do now? She’s the only one who knew what she was doing!”

“Wait, I thought you would be a pro because you’re a ‘professional ghost hunter’ - isn’t that what you kept saying?” Tucker teased.

“Yeah, well I lied! This is nothing like ghost hunting!” he argued as he walked out of the garage. He was going back to the trailer. “Real ghost hunters would bring some kind of weapon and wouldn’t just run around helpless! We should just call it.”

“What? No! We’ve got two more pieces of evidence to collect. And we haven’t done any of the objectives! Tucker retorted.

“Fine!” he snapped as he walked down the main hallway. “if you want to keep looking for clues you can, but I’m going back to the trailer to check--”

The front door slammed shut. His flashlight blinked again.

“Shit!” Tucker cried.

Danny could hear the footsteps behind him. He could feel a heart thumping in his headset. He started running off to a room but stopped. No, he was not running again. He was going to stare this ghost down and prove that Danny Phantom was not scared of some ghost. His image struck fear in the hearts of ghosts and his name carried respect in the Ghost Zone. He was not going to let some video game ghost get the better of him and spook him with some Ouija board trick.

He turned around to face it, camera at the ready. If he was going down, he was getting a picture of it. The ghost blinked in the hallway and Danny saw the cause of his anxiety for the first time. The ghost floated down the hallway, with white hair and a black and white jumpsuit. It...it was him. The ghost was Phantom.

He completely forgot to take a picture as his own image rushed at him. He saw two gloved hands cover over the screen and then everything went dark. He heard the crash of breaking glass, saw a strange underground cavern for a second, and then he was back in a foggy blue version of the house.

The ghost of Sam’s avatar approached him, and he heard her laughing over the headset. It sounded like she’d been laughing for awhile. “Oh my god Danny, did you see the ghost?” she asked between laughs.

“It...that was...oh my God,” he groaned. It all made sense. Spelling Danny was likely an Easter egg, a cute nod to his name of Danny Phantom. The fact that it happened in the basement was just a coincidence, because it’s a creepy spot and a commonly haunted area. He hadn’t summoned anything. He wasn’t being targeted by some ghost in the computer. It was just an Easter egg paying homage to him.

Suddenly all the stress left him and he laughed. God, it felt so good to laugh after all that panic. This game had gotten him so worked up and over what? Over a ghost that looked like himself? Suddenly it all seemed so silly that it scared him that much. He had felt actual dread and fear, enough to trigger an unconscious transformation out of a need to protect himself, but there weren’t actually any real consequences. Now he just got to walk around unhindered in this ghostly version of the house, but nothing else actually happened.

Sam laughed along with Danny. “So you did see it then?”

“It was...oh my god Sam it was me! It looked just like me!”

“I know!” she exclaimed. “As soon as I saw it I forgot to keep running and stared. So of course it killed me. I did get a picture though,” she bragged.

“Oh man. I meant to, but I was just too stunned.” Now that he felt much better, he decided to wander around the house following Tucker who, for some reason, was still trying to finish the level on his own.

Sam suspiciously stopped her laughing. “Wait...Danny, your voice sounds weird. Are you...are you in your ghost form?”

Danny bit his lip as a slight blush graced his cheeks. “I don’t want to hear it.” But the telltale whoosh of the glowing rings turning him back to his human form seemed to be all the confirmation she needed. Except, he didn’t hear her laugh.

“...Danny, I wanted to apologize,” she said, and that made Danny stop moving and look quizzically at the screen.

“What? Apologize for what?” he asked.

“For goading you into playing this game,” she clarified, her voice surprisingly serious. “While I’ve been hanging out here in the spirit world, I realized why this game set you off so much.”

“What do you mean? I never said it set me off,” Danny defended. How could she possibly know that? He thought he was playing it pretty cool.

“Oh please,” she scoffed. “You’re in your ghost form and you were panicking after the Ouija board thing.”

“Hey you would panic too if--”

“Danny I’m trying to say that I get it,” she interrupted. “Being near a ghost without your powers? Without any weapons? Being powerless? It’s one of your biggest nightmares, that your powers will fail when you need them. And this game, it’s too close to home.”

Danny stopped moving and stared at the screen, because she was absolutely right. This was too close to home. How many times did he have to check to make sure his ghost sense wasn’t actually going off? How many times did he keep thinking about how similar everything felt to his own experiences? How unnerved he was about a ghost in the basement? It was too similar to his real life...except he had the tools he needed in his real life. Not a flashlight and some dumb spirit book, but actual real tools and powers and weapons, but here they were all taken away from him. Everything he relied on to fight ghosts had been stripped from him in the game and trapped him helpless in a house with his friends. Of course that bothered him. It was, as Sam said, one of his more recurring nightmares.

“...Yeah I think I’m good never playing this game again,” Danny admitted, the closest he planned to get to acknowledging everything she said was true.

“Honestly? I don’t blame you,” Sam agreed softly. “I think it’s easier for us because we’re used to this role: when there’s a ghost in the area, we help figure out what’s going on and support you. It’s not all that different from this game,” she explained. Her ghostly avatar followed Tucker out of the house and he followed after them. “But when you’re used to doing the fighting and defending and can’t...I guess it’s probably harder to separate yourself from the game.”

He reached behind him and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. It was too similar to his daily life, and as he tried to argue at the beginning, he didn’t need to hunt fake ghosts poorly when he knew how to fight real ghosts well. “You know you sound like Jazz,” he pointed out, trying to lighten the mood and change the subject.

“Wow, you’re going to insult me after I tried to help you?” Sam scoffed. “See if I ever help you again!”

Danny smiled at the screen, glad to be back to the teasing. He definitely felt more relaxed and more like himself. “Oh look, Tucker’s finally calling it quits,” Danny observed as Tucker closed the door to the trailer.

“God, I can’t wait to find out if he saw you.” He could hear her grinning through the headset and honestly he felt the same. Out of all of them, Tucker would be the most excited about this addition.

The screen changed over to the menu screen, showing all their accomplished objectives. It also meant that all three party members could talk to each other again. “I can’t believe you left me!” Tucker complained. “It’s even worse when you’re in there on your own! Do you know how much more evidence we needed to collect? Um, a ton!”

Sam laughed, and Danny had to join in. “Okay so we are sorry about that, but Tucker did you ever see the ghost?”

“No, which is probably why I’m the only one that survived!” he complained.

“Oh my god Sam, he didn’t see it,” Danny groaned.

“Oh my god.”

“No wait, didn’t see what?” Tucker asked. His voice had calmed down a bit and was colored with curiosity.

“Tucker...the ghost was Danny,” Sam told him.

“Uh no, we clarified his name was Thomas,” Tucker corrected.

Sam and Danny both groaned. “No Tucker, the ghost was Danny Phantom. It was skinned to look like Phantom,” she clarified.

Tucker’s line sat silent for a long time before he finally exploded in a shower of shock, excitement, and regret. “NO WAY! No! That is so cool! I mean I knew the developers were fans, but this is so cool! Like literally the best tribute ever. Oh my god I can’t believe I missed it! No!” he cried. He was so loud into the microphone that Danny had a hard time believing Tucker didn’t wake his parents.

“It’s why both of us died,” Danny explained. “We were just too shocked seeing it.”

“We’re going back in. I need to see this,” Tucker demanded.

Danny bit his lip. He was not going back in. He meant it when he said he was done. He almost had his explanation on his lips before Sam spoke up first. “I doubt it’ll show up two times in a row. I Googled it and the skin will be here for the whole month of Halloween as a random draw, so you’ve got time to see it. But if you want to try again tonight, I’ll keep playing if you want. Danny...he needs to get some sleep.”

“What? No, it's so much easier with three people. Come on Danny,” Tucker pleaded.

“Nah, Sam’s right, I should go to bed. Gotta be rested for those real ghosts tomorrow,” Danny chuckled. “Besides, being killed by my own image was a little weird.” And also a little too close to home, considering some of his memories of Dan.

“Yeah, this game isn’t Danny’s jam,” Sam explained simply. He had a feeling Sam would talk to Tucker more about what they discussed while their avatars were dead, and honestly he didn’t mind. He didn’t want to keep secrets from Tucker, he just really didn’t want to talk about it any more tonight.

Tucker sighed. “Alright, fine, you’re off the hook. At least you gave it a try though.”

“I did, and you’re both gonna owe me one for doing it too,” Danny reminded them.

“Dude, pretty sure you’re in the negatives when it comes to IOUs from us,” Tucker pointed out with a good-natured laugh. “Testing out inventions, excuses at school, doing your homework, remembering the thermos when you forget it, distracting your parents…”

“Okay okay, I get it,” Danny groaned as he left the screen and exited out of the game. “Well fine, then I’m less in the negative now. And on that happy subject, I’m going to bed. Good night guys.”

“Good night Danny,” Sam replied. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Danny almost hung up on their private Discord server when he heard Tucker speak up. “Hey Danny, wait.”

“What?” he asked curiously, his mouse still hovering over the disconnect sign.

“The type of ghost...was a Phantom.”

I’ve never cross-posted on tumblr before, so this will be a first! I hope you enjoy!

[sorry-apsalar]

Get With the Time Already

Another Ao3 prompt: "so uh i like trans fry and maybe i was thinking fry could be dysphoric and bender comforts him in his own way ig??"

Disclaimer: while I have personal experience with gender dysphoria it's not as intense as I know many other people's are. So this might not be the most accurate depiction of a trans man but I did my best. I have also never worn a binder (though I have done some research on them) so I might not have properly portrayed that either in my mentionings of it.

Content Warning: this fic includes blatant discussion of boobs, gender dysphoria surrounding them, and transphobia (Fry incorrectly assumes Bender is going to be transphobic)

~

Fry had only just began putting on a clean pair of clothing when the door burst open behind him. He snapped around to see Bender pause in the doorway as his eyes found Fry. Knowing immediately what he was looking at, Fry flinched and immediately snatched the jacket off the top and pulled it up to hug to his chest, covering himself.

“Hey Bender. Uh… what’s up?” he said, trying to keep the tension out of his voice as he forced a smile. Maybe Bender hadn’t seen? It was kind of dark in here so perhaps he hadn’t had time to make anything out?

“Have you always had boobs or is that a new feature?” Nope, Bender had for sure seen then. Dang it!

As always, people knowing about his chest made Fry feel worse about it. Perhaps that was due to the fact that it brought the issue to mind when normally he tried to forget about it whenever possible. Regardless he was now officially uncomfortably aware of his chest and Bender now knew his secret.

He was bound to find out about it one way or another eventually. Bender was his roommate, coworker, and best friend – up until this anyway, who knows if that would still be the case afterward – after all so they spent quite a bit of time together. So it had been only a matter of time before Bender saw him naked or caught him without his binder on since he couldn’t wear it all the time. It still sucked that it had to happen though. Perhaps Fry should’ve told him on his own so it happened on his terms instead of just randomly like this. Too late now though.

“Uh… Fry. You okay?”

Oh shit, Fry had just been kind of standing here frozen, hadn’t he? Oops. “Uh… I’m fine.” Faking nonchalance was hard when he didn’t even know how Bender felt about the whole thing yet. “Yeah. I’ve uh… always had them. … Or not always but ever since I hit like puberty and stuff.”

Not wanting to look at Bender anymore, Fry turned away and let the jacket drop to the floor. He turned to the closest to pull a clean set of clothes – he was almost out, meaning he’d have to do laundry again soon, ugh – and resumed dressing himself.

“Oh, I get it,” Bender said in his usual tone of voice as if unaware of how uncomfortable Fry was – though knowing Bender it was possible he just didn’t care. “You’re one of those people that don’t like having boobs.”

“Yeah. That’s one way to put it.” Fry wasn’t normally one to feel self-conscious about things but gosh pulling on a binder when someone else was watching certainly made him feel a special kind of uncomfortable. He had no other choice though and better to get it over with sooner rather than later because Bender didn’t seem inclined to leave any time soon. “Uh… how mad are you about it?” Best to just ask that outright to figure out where they now stood with each other.

Bender scoffed. “Why would I be mad about it?”

Fry snapped around to look to look at Bender again. “Because… because… guys aren’t supposed to have them and that makes people mad a lot of the time.”

“What moron told you that? Lots of men have boobs.”

“Well uh… I guess sort of on bigger guys but… that’s different.” Even despite Fry’s less than healthy diet and lazy life style he was still somehow too skinny to have those kinds of boobs.

Bender gave him a look like he was stupid. “I forget sometimes that you come from the unenlightened ages. In modern day lots of human men have boobs, some get them removed, others don’t, no one cares either way. I’m a robot and even I know that. Seriously Fry, get with the times already, you’re just making yourself look dumb.”

As he finished pulling his jacket on, Fry took a breath to reply to that but… what was he supposed to say to that? “It’s uh… really not a big deal anymore? Being trans and stuff.”

“Yeah. Literally the only people who care are some of the assholes in the head museum and even most of them have gotten over it by now.”

That didn’t make Fry feel less dysphoric, especially since they were still talking about it and thus he was still thinking about it, but it did make him feel better. Even if, that being the case was obvious in hindsight; things had been trending towards being more accepting back when he came from. Far, far slower than he’d have liked but a thousand years was a long time so of course a lot of progress had been made in that realm just like in every other area of society and science.

“Anyway,” Bender continued, “you going to continue to be upset about it or are you going come out and watch TV with me? ‘Cause the new episode of All My Circuits is about to start and I’m going be mad if I miss it because I have to continue to explain why you being trans literally does not matter to me or anyone else.”

Fry almost could’ve run over and hugged him but refrained for now. He was going to have to ask more about this later – surely getting top surgery and other such stuff would be far less of a hassle these days, right? – for now though… “TV sounds good.” He wanted to watch the episode too and could use a distraction while he took some time to digest this new information and the fact that Bender now knew and that that was okay because not only was he cool with it, he was indifferent to it and didn’t see Fry any different because of it.