#OH I SHOULD DO KEG AND REANI!!

[mockingmolly]

Mannn I should really redo the cr pride stickers. They’re so outdated and yet still so popular ;-;

I’ve only done some for beau, cad and yasha (I wanna do one for cad that includes the aro flag) but would there be requests for any others? Definitely a bi pride flag for Caleb. Maybe jester as well? Idk about the others tho

Maybe some of the c1 characters?

[captainsspnanon]

C2E21 - Stalker in the Swamp - rewatch/liveblog

Ah, bowlgate.  The place where people are either reasonably upset about PC choices and are upset with the characters, or the place where Liam and Marisha are the worst people ever and clearly hate each other and Marisha should be kicked off the show and blah blah blah blah BLAH.  I even trawled the comments a bit, thankfully MOST of them are about the PCs, not about the players, but there’s still some.  And this isn’t even the original video from G&S, this is the one reloaded months later!

Also the comments all appear to be either bowlgate, Bren, or “caleb also likes to burn his friends”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S THE DNDBEYOND ANIMATED INTRO!!!!!!!!!

...how are NONE of the comments about THAT?!??!!?

And I don’t think, when I was watching this the first time, that I knew about the animated show yet!  UUUUUGHHHHHH so emotional

And Laura goes “we’re an 80s cartoon, you guys” AND YOU WILL BE!!!!!  ...Well, a 20’s cartoon.  I don’t know how flavored it’s going to be, it didn’t look very 80s based off of the live read and trailer.

Ooo, this episode is going to be a little weird to watch.  Top camera is not only better quality than bottom camera (which was fine to deal with last episode), but now top camera also looks a lot better lit than bottom camera.  Probably not true and just an effect of the quality, but it makes bottom camera feel much more shaded than the rest of the group.

I wonder where the bit of Liam not liking Mark came from?  It’s a running joke and happens again, but I have no clue where or how it started.

8 on the screen and it feels cramped!  They feel like they are SO smushed together, honestly I feel like this set fix 6 PCs much better, I always felt a bit sorry for bottom screen when Ashley was here just because of how tightly they needed to sit.  Granted, no clue how it compares to when they were playing in the home game (some of the videos we have look PACKED and others look more spaced out).  I just hope they’re all comfortable.

Oh FUCK Matt’s Mark impression was REALLY fucking good

Eventually I will watch High Rollers, or at least give it a try.  I have it and Dimension 20 and Dice, Camera, Action bookmarked.  I bookmarked it early into my CR watching when I got excited by the format and wanted to find more, but now I’m not sure if I’ll like it, just because it won’t be the people I’m used to seeing.  I’ll give it a go at some point!  Probably after my C2 rewatch.

I do like how suspicious Caleb is of Calianna from the very beginning, but it’s also interesting to note that after all this goes down and he gets ripped by Beau and others about his suspicious, Caleb is at least outwardly less suspicious of guest PCs.  It’s tricky to tell how much this impacted his perception of people or how he behaves, as 1) a lot of time passes between the guest PCs where Caleb just continues to improve overall, and 2) Calianna actually does feel like the most suspicious guest PC that they had.  She eavesdropped and is then asking for help retrieving a magic item used for ritual (something that might super set Caleb off), whereas Nila and Keg were both on a quest for vengeance, Twiggy was a stowaway but very easily submitted to Caleb’s questioning and watching, and Reani was so blatant in her ‘good vs evil’ view that the only real risk was her seeing the M9 as evil. Granted, that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have been suspicious, but it’s very interesting to see how Caleb processed it.

I feel like a lot of the other PCs processed the guests in the same way, meaning that they’re interactions with Calianna are very similar to their interactions with the other guest PCs in terms of trust, insight checking, belief, etc. etc.

‘Scaled Tyrant’ is Tiamat renamed, right?

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not the biggest champion for guest players for CR.  I really like the cast as it, and I feel like one of my problems with the guests is on full display right now, as Cali dumps her entire backstory.  With the PCs, the exposition comes very slowly and smoothly, so it feels very clean.  With the guest PCs, they’ve only got one episode typically, so everything has to be RUSHED to get out.  Sometimes it’s okay if the guest doesn’t have or doesn’t share a detailed backstory, or if they are multiple episode guests and so can space it out.  This is a problem that continued when I watched C1, though at least the C2 guests really kept to the atmosphere of C2, whereas C1 it would sometimes feel like comic bullshit out of nowhere.  *shrugs*  I don’t HATE guests per se, but I was very happy with covid-time C2 where it was just main cast.  I prefer C2 guests more than C1 for several reasons, 1) less of them, 2) better integrated with the story, and 3) I ended up liking all the guests from C2, whereas I think there were two? two or three, guests from C1 where I just didn’t like them or wasn’t into what they were doing.

“Bren.”  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched a video where they have clips of this interspersed with clips from the wrap up of Liam saying that he felt like he was losing his mind.  Honestly, I’m wondering how I’m going to get through this episode, because I KNOW I’ve going to be staring at Liam’s face to see all the microreactions, but then I need to, you know, actually pay attention to everything else!  Probably gonna be a lot of rewinding moments to look at reactions.

Sam loving trinkets again.  “always have been” which immediately breaks Matt.

Ugh, I ADORE Yasha threatening Cali by saying she would take her scales to make an arm cover.  SO GOOD.

I’m pretty sure there was a sneaky text between Liam and Matt, and now Liam (and/or?) Caleb is just STARING at Sam (and/or?) Nott.  It’s so interesting knowing how hard this hit Liam in the moment, trying to tell how much of it is Caleb versus Liam confusion.  (it’s probably mostly Caleb, but let me speculate)

Fjord really showing leadership right now, I like it!  I do miss this, he used to take charge quite a lot.

Caleb calling Nott “Bren”!

Oh noooooo Fjord why are you wasting a spell on the plant?????   I doubt they get a short rest before the troll

I like when Caleb sends Frumpkin to do something extra dangerous, he readies his fingers to snap as fast as possible, just in case

No C3 spoilers – but with Vax and Caleb/Frumpkin combination of people the main person who checks out an area, I hope a new person in C3 is the ‘exploratory’ person.  Or even no real lead person and just the group exploring things as they come to it.  I have nothing wrong with Liam being the one to do it for C1 and C2, it’s just one of those things where I wonder if other players want to be able to explore at their own pacing, rather than having Liam determine the pace each time.

“Salty Pete” …. that feels reaaaally familiar.  Was it a one shot PC?  A member of Vox Moronica?

Oooooo, Febron resisting Suggestion!!!!!

Also, seriously.  I don’t mean to Caleb gush, but some of these moments just hit so differently.  Him casting Suggestion and the way he phrases his request?  It seems completely innocuous at the moment, and in hindsight it’s SUPER FUCKING SCARY.  Like, you could 100% see Trent doing that exact thing.  And it’s not something that registered AT ALL to me!  AT ALL.  It just seemed like clever annoyed Caleb, not fucking interrogator Bren.

I want to know what Marisha’s mental picture was where miming a beak/elephant trunk equaled troll.   ...also, I had to google “elephant nose name” because my brain was going ‘elephant trumpet’ and I knew that wasn’t correct.

I love sassy Fjord so much.  This rewatch is REALLY upping my appreciation of Fjord. Not so much for Nott though, which surprises me.  Granted, I still adore all of the M9 minus Molly, so it’s not like I don’t already love Nott.  But I had her, Fjord, and Yasha on sort of a ‘second rung’, and Fjord has really moved up to ‘first rung’, while Nott is still staying on second.

Once again, Nott is prompted to check for traps.  Vax may have been the ‘reckless’ rogue, but he always checks.  Nott leans more (at least in combat) to the hiding and stealthing, but I feel like not too much of the utility aspect without being prompted.  It’s a very weird aspect of me kind of not liking it, because then why pick a rogue if you don’t like it?, but also really liking it because it’s a good twist on the stereotypical rogue, so where I fall in the moments varies from episode to episode.

LOL I feel like Laura legit yelped when Matt did his creepy dead person gasp.  Also Jester casting Speak with Dead had a very Sending feel to it, I love how she rambles SO MUCH.

They’re still using the fancy initiative tracker!  Gonna keep my eye out, see if they lose it when they move (only a few more episodes), or if it goes all the way to pandemic time (I REALLY don’t think so!)

“all words I’ve never heard before”.  So either Tiberius never used quicken spell, they forgot because it was so long ago, they are actively removing him from their mental equation, or Sam is making a fun joke.  EITHER WAY

“I cast Regret” YAAASSSS

Also holy shit Caleb with the horrified facial expressions!

OMG MARISHA PUTTING ON DEODORANT!!  

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GIGANTIC DIE, ASHLEY.  THAT’S THE SIZE OF A SNOWBALL

“You’re levitating” *immediately gets song stuck in head*

I wonder how much of Calianna was planned separately from Caleb’s revealed backstory. It almost feels like Mark deliberately made something paralleling to maybe help Caleb learn to forgive himself.  Also with all these parallels, that's an even stronger justification for Caleb not trusting her, because he wouldn’t trust himself.

Do we know that Jester was stuck inside all the time yet?  Rewatch dilemmas, I’m not sure!  Oh, questions answered, Caleb at least knows, so I’m assuming all of them do.

I love Beau and Nott’s relationship so much.  I just love all of the relationship’s that Beau has.  Beau is just barely not my favorite, and it’s sooo friggen close, just by a microscopic hair.

FEATHER FALL YESSSSSSS

I like how Matt handled them losing the surprise round, I feel like it was the right way to go.

HUNGER OF HADAR!!! Only got used a few times, but never used after becoming a paladin I don’t think, which just feels right.

SWOLEREGARD!!!! Still no custom mini, but sooooon

I like how Beau magically knows that Travis hits his head all the time being too tall.

Ugh, I miss 20 INT Caleb.  And we’re not gonna get 19 INT Beau for a while, but in hindsight?  I think she does play into the RP of it!  *deletes sentence I just typed*  Okay, she doesn’t actually get it until episode 81.  Hrmm…...well now I’ll need to pay more attention. For NOW, I remember her showing stronger intellect later campaign, but it’s going to be interesting to see if that’s Marisha RPing the headband, or if it’s just natural progression of Beau’s character.   (I forgot and thought she got it with Twiggy, but nope!)

Manacles showing up again!  And the cast definitely sees the trend now.

LOL so the start of Bowlgate is actually kicked off by Nott hiding the bowl!  I wonder if/how Caleb may have protested had she not and just handed the bowl to Cali in the first place.

I feel so bad that Laura is so huffy over this, because I KNOW it’s from people tearing her to shreds for the broom situation.  :(

GOD I LOVE MARISHA. Holding an imaginary bowl in one hand up in the air, needs to take notes, mimes bringing the bowl down, moving it to the other hand, raising the other hand, so that she can write.

And walk away LOLOLOL

See, as much as I’m sad that they feel like they have to do it during other ‘fights’, there is a benefit to after having a tense scene, immediately having a visible checking in with each other (hugging, nudging, giggling) that makes the audience feel a bit better.   ...and honestly I kinda hate that it make me feel better?  Cause I feel like I should trust the cast to know each others boundaries, and I DO, but they’re also REALLY FUCKING GOOD ROLEPLAYERS so when PC boundaries are crossed it’s hard to see that it’s not crossing the players.  And the really sad thing?  I think they started having those visual check ins with each other BECAUSE of the bullshit backlash that this episode got, which really fucking sucks.

ALSO ALSO!  I hate the people who act like this is Marisha being a dick.  No.  BEAU is being a dick.  BEAU.  Who is specifically created as a character who is a dick!  Who has low charisma!  Who has REPEATEDLY had scenes both serious and humorous about failing to clearly communicate or respectfully communicate!  This scene was 100% in character from both sides!

YAASHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ILU ILU ILU

awww, she says “sorry” instead of “FUCK THIS BOWL”.  ...i think I prefer the animated version slightly, though it’s also super IC for her to apologize instead

LOL at them all cracking up with the fact that cultists will now be after Yasha. Which never comes up ever again.  But THEY don’t know that!

You know, I’m sad that Caleb couldn’t transcribe invisibility, but I think it really added impact and tension to when he did use it to rescue Fjord, Jester, and Yasha.

They even cuddle at the end of the episode!!!  But I guess it wasn’t enough.

I will give credit though, a lot of the comments DO keep it with the characters Beau and Caleb, which is great.  It’s absolutely a tense moment for them! And it’s very easy for people to pick which side feels more ‘right’ than the other!  Props to these debates!

Awwww, the baby kicked and Sam looks more excited than Laura XD

@suicidallyreckless

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

Syllabus Day: A Critical Role Fanfic

For day 5 of @essek-week I just couldn’t resist a little Professor!AU, just the aesthetics of it all are just totally outstanding. Plus I am such a sucker for the “students ship it” trope, I just had to find a way to put it in.  

Read the collection on AO3

Enjoy!

Caleb’s first day as an official professor at Rosohna University had marked down in his memory as hectic, according to his personal journal. He had just managed to get into the country by the skin of his teeth the day before the term was set to start, his lecture notes had been stained by tea by a very apologetic undergrad, and to top it all off there had been technical difficulties with the microphone as he had given the lecture. He also wasn’t looking forward to unpacking both this office and his new apartment as soon as he got home. 

But it wasn’t to say that all of the things that had happened that day were bad. All of the kids he had taught had loved Frumpkin (who was very lovable if you asked Caleb), and were all excited to put Find Familiar in their brand new spellbooks. Caleb found that Find Familiar always made for a great icebreaker lesson, and good first week as opposed to spending a whole lecture on the syllabus. Thankfully he had been told by a few of the undergrads that they were looking forward to the course and to summoning their own familiars next class. Caleb has also had actual thoughtful questions on the material, so though he felt beaten Caleb was not defeated. Sometimes teaching was just a measure in flexibility which was something he was working on. 

When he got back to his office, he was content to move in his important things and then go home to a new apartment to decompress. He had decided that unpacking his apartment could wait until he stopped feeling like his brain was going to steam right out of his ears. It was also a lot of work to unwrap each individually packaged porcelain cat sculpture and place them just right on the bookshelf. He was just about finished with that and ready to call it quits when a knock startled him out of his focus. 

"You are Dr. Widogast then?"

The voice was calm, authoritative. Caleb looked up to see the most handsome man he had ever laid eyes on in his whole life.  He was drow, as were many of the professors who guest lectured at Zadash University from Roshanna College. His hair was white, his skin an attractive dark-lilac, his eyes a glinting silver. He was lithe and shorter than Caleb, and wearing a meticulously pressed slate grey wool-and-cashmere trench coat with shiny buttons that had to cost thousands of dollars. And, by the gods, was that collar velvet? He was really wearing an ascot too, and shiny shoes and black leather gloves. Caleb had never felt so grungy in his whole life, in his cat fur covered thrift shop sweater, crinkled khakis and bargain-bin boots. Caleb had the insane urge to cringe and apologize for breathing in the same air as him. 

"I am," Caleb said, holding out his hand in spite of himself. "I'm Caleb Widogast, and you are…?"

"Dr. Essek Theylss, I run the fall semester Advanced Dunamantic Theory seminar and the Introduction to Graviturgy," he introduced, taking his hand lightly. Caleb couldn't help but gape. Essek Theylss, he knew the name Essek Theylss. Anyone in academia with even the slightest interest in dunamancy knew who Essek Theylss was, and yet somehow this man was talking to him.  

"Yes of course," Caleb said, his brain and excitement running ahead of his decorum. "I read your essay on influencing gravity with magic. You created a levitation spell that is rooted in dunamancy that can last for hours! It was an incredible piece of work." 

"I see my reputation has preceded me," Dr. Theylss said, mouth curling up in a half-smile. "And here I was thinking I was alone in admiration."

"What?" Caleb asked dumbly, as Essek ran a gloved finger over the desk, he inspected his finger before continuing to gaze upon his surroundings with a thoughtful look. For a moment it looked like Essek was considering the environment before he returned to look at Caleb with an intense expression. 

"Your work on spell modification is truly something. I was extremely pleased to hear that you were joining the faculty especially considering your work with Bigby's Hand. What's the name of the spell you developed?" Essek asked, turning sharply and so quickly that Caleb barely processed that he did. 

"Oh...Cat's Ire." 

"Yes, it's very clever, I'm sure a good many students will benefit from your instruction,” Essek said, and though it was a commonplace nicety somehow it felt genuine in a way that touched Caleb.  

"Well, thank you Dr. Theylss--"

"Just Essek will do," he corrected, straightening his already immaculate collar. 

"Then you must call me Caleb," Caleb managed beyond his tongue, which felt nearly swollen in his dry mouth. 

"Then I shall,” Essek said. He smiled, and he could see just the barest flash of elongated canines. “Caleb it is then. I cannot tell you how truly excited I am to be teaching with you this year. I look forward to it, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I’m sure I will learn a good many things from you.”

“Me as well,” Caleb croaked. 

With another airy smile, Dr. Essek Theylss left Caleb speechless in his own office. Behind him the air was scented with the slightest bit of peppermint, like he had dabbed on some expensive cologne before he walked in the room. Caleb sagged against the wall, attempting to take deep breaths and calm the pounding of his heart. He hadn’t felt so affected by anyone since...well, in a very long time. Longer than he would probably like to admit. Attractive people like that lived their own strange and storied lives that people like Caleb simply couldn’t understand. Though...he wanted to. Mentally he was already calculating how long it would be until it stopped being weird to visit in one of Dr. Theyl--Essek’s lectures. He was sure that Essek certainly had a lot to teach him. 

“Meow?” Frumpkin asked from the top of the bookshelf, blinking down at him with wide yellow eyes. His ears were alert, like he had just caught Caleb with his hand in a treat jar. Greedy thing, Caleb broadcasted across their mutual bond. Caleb got the distinct feeling of playtime, bored, now sent back to him. 

“Ja, I know. What a day,” Caleb agreed before watching his familiar jump from the bookshelf onto his desk, scattering papers and knocking over his books and sending a paperweight tumbling to the flood. “Ach! Frumpkin! It’s not play time now! I’ll play with you when we get home!” 

A new year, a new adventure, and more things to learn. Caleb just wasn’t sure he was ready for it. 

___________________

“What do you think of Dr. Widogast, Luc?”

“What do you mean, what do I think? I mean, like, he’s a good teacher. He’s my mom’s friend so I knew him before but like, when we all didn’t do well on the quiz he threw it out and retaught us..that was pretty nice.” 

“No, no, no! I mean about him and Dr. Theylss?” 

“Oh! That. Caliana was talking to me about the Dunamancy Major kids’ theories on that whole thing. I think it’s just bullshit.” 

“Go fuck yourself!” 

“No, go fuck yourself, Kiri. And hey! Stop messing with Nugget and actually throw the ball please. Twiggy can you tell Trixie not to try to break nuts on Nugget’s head.” 

“Trixie don’t do that, be nice to Nugget! But seriously, Luc, you don’t think anything is going on between them?” 

“I didn’t say that, I just think that Uncle Caleb is too awkward to ever make the first move. Plus, Dr. Theylss is so intimidating. I heard he glared at a kid so hard once that they passed out in the lecture hall.” 

“Well I think it’s happening, and you wanna know why I think it’s happening?”

“Why?”  

“I saw them together the other day, outside of campus!” 

“No you did not, you are just bullshitting me right now.” 

“I am not! I totally did. I was having a girls night out with Reani and Keg and Caliana and Kiri and we went to the restaurant with the awesome fried calamari-you know the place right?” 

“I know the place. Also, hey, why did you guys all go out and not invite me? I’m insulted.” 

“That was the night you went on that date with the cute half-orc. How did that work out by the way?”

“Oh, got you. No luck unfortunately, all they wanted to do was talk about was how the War of 836 PD should be called the War of Xhorhassian Aggression and how good it was for the economy. Barf. I hate Merchant Majors. But anyways back to what you were saying…?”  

“They were in a booth talking, they had wine, and they were sitting real close together. Right, Kiri?” 

“Yes, I am very sweet.” 

“Dr. Widogast and Dr. Theylss were totally playing footsies under the table, it was definitely happening. They are totally in love and are dating, I am absolutely sure of it!” 

“Well, who would’ve thunk it. Uncle Caleb’s got game, maybe he could teach me a thing or two.” 

“You’ll shoot your eye out!” 

“Seriously, Kiri, wanna fight?”

[hufflpuffin]

The reasons people are giving to say Reani is a mary sue are so absolutely absurd to me. 

“Oh you need a place to stay?” 
She was the first guest who lived in the city and wasn’t a wandering traveller. Why wouldn’t she offer her them to visit her house?

“Oh you wanted food?”
 What kind of host would you be if you don’t offer your guests food? If Matt had an NPC do this no one would be complaining. 

“You need to find a white dragon? I know a person in a really high place”

It’s almost as if she is a guest on Critical Role and is written into the story to assist the main cast in their quest. And of course she has like 2 connections (her ex and some librarians) and knows people around the city she lives in and also because she’s the city’s Neighborhood Crimewatch. The M9 have high connections too only after helping once and barely stay in a place longer than two weeks (Bryce, Dolan?). Reini stays for 5 years, shes bound to have connections in the city. Also Matt also clearly gave her these connections because it would help the M9 in their quests..If Reini didn't know people in the city she lives in it would be kind of dumb.

And nobody questions any of the other random stuff written for previous guests? Shakaste was conveniently at the mines and Lorenzo’s at the right time. Keg knew exactly who kidnapped the M9 and and Nila just so happened to be a horse at the right time and place as well. Calianna was going into the swamp to find the convenient hideaway that no one should know about. Twiggy managed to be a stowaway even though they were leaving Darktow and hid on a boat for like 2 weeks. That’s because this also a show and you have to fit characters into the plot so the cast has a reason to help this random stranger, or else we wouldn’t be having guests. 

Also as an Aasimar, Reani’s character motivations (having an angelic guide) is totally a valid thing involving aasimar to have or follow, considering its in their actual racial traits in Volos. The reason we don’t see Yasha with one is because she’s fallen, or because Oban is her demonic guide, since she’s been touched by evil.

“Youre friends with an amazing artisan” 

Matt has given 0 evidence that he hides away and never talks to people? Also Matt clearly wrote in this relationship so that the cast could trust Reani, if she is friends with Umi she’s trustworthy to the M9.  Also considering Reani is an adventurer, it makes sense she would have a connection to Umi since she would bring things to him, in the same way the cast might be friends with Pumat if they lived in the city for 5 years and were constantly buying and trading artifacts with him. If the M9 lived in Uthadern for 5 years I guarantee they would also be friends with Umi considering how much stuff they would be bringing back to him. 

“I hunt major crime daily” 

She’s a level 9 druid. At that point you’re pretty accomplished. What else are you going to do with magical powers & shapeshifting abilities? Thats what the main cast pretty much does daily. The mighty nein were pirates, saved a town from knolls, kills a baby dragon,  etc. But a powerful druid being a city watch (a literal background from Sword Coast) in a town for 5 years is unreasonable?
 Again If Matt introduced this character as an NPC nobody would question it. Tinkertop gave everyone a tour, invited them home, went to party with them, and had her whole backstory revealed in like a day. Not weird. 

But Mica is a guest for two days playing a guest character in a city she lives in? shes taking the spot light away from everyone. its just so forced. how will the cast survive having the spotlight taken off them?????

[theinsanecrayonbox]

oh here’s some more of my M9 modern/quarantine/video call au that no one asked for, because my mind wanders and i like domestic fluff

everyone primarily lives in 2 buildings, that may be across the street from each other

in building 1;

Caduceus just recently moved in with Fjord and Jester after the lease on a sublet was up (plus Jester’s is closer to the bakery he works at normally); Fjord formally moved in with Jester about a month before, after a bad breakup with his ex-girlfriend and couch surfing for a few weeks (one of which was Cad’s at his old place). Jester’s mom pays for the place, so she has a place to stay when she’s in town. the boys do contribute rent though, which goes into other bills.

Nott/Veth has an apartment with Yeza and Luke. she moved out here before they did, since it was for Yeza’s job; he stayed with Luke to finish packing up, while she found them a home before he had to start work. they’ve been here a while though, just that she’s more familiar with everyone else cause she’s been around longer.

Caleb lives a floor up and one unit over from the Bremattos; Veth has been known to scale the fire escape to go climb onto his balcony...half the time to return his cat.

in building 2;

Yasha used to live with Molly, until he had to go away “for work” (rumor says it was rehab...). she tried to live on her own for a while...Fjord actually stayed at her place the longest. she’d finally asked Beau to move in with her pretty much when quarantine started, so yeah, that got put on hold.

Molly does still live in the building though! when he came back, with K’nessan and Ashe, they got a unit several floors away from Yasha; they didn’t wanna impose on her, since you know, growing family and all.

other people;

Essek is here. he’s fancy rich, lives far uptown with his family...and kinda hates it at times, so often goes and stays with Caleb; only Verin knows where he disappears to.

Reani used to live in Molly and ‘Ness’ place; she moved away, that’s why they got it so cheaply

Keg was somewhere else...but got shipped off for army training to another state. she and Beau were a thing, but with having to move, they broke it off, but Beau also lost her place to live that wasn’t her parents’

Calianna lives in another city entirely, and is mostly just in Jester’s video chats, though she has come to visit before

Avantika is Fjord’s ex. we don’t like to talk about her if we can help it

now for the fun “we’re in quarantine’ shenanigans;

Essek did indeed escape Thelyss Manor, about an hour after lockdown was announced. his mother didn’t know he ever made it back to the house...but Verin did; basically he agreed not to rat his brother out as long as he checked in with him by text regularly. the brothers are pretty good at staying out of each other’s business as long as you prove you’re still alive. he’s gotta call his mother once a week to prove he’s safe though. but at first, he kept trying to hide in Caleb’s M9 video chats, but then Veth randomly showed up and caught them and was dying for like 4 days not to say anything until Jester caught sight of Essek in the background in one video chat in Caleb’s space cat pj pants.

part of Ashe’s daily routine is running up the flights of stairs to go hang out at auntie Yasha’s place and go out onto her balcony too see their tiny garden (Ashe’s apartment does not have a balcony you see). sometimes they’l catch Cad doing the same across the way and have a waving contest

Jester cannot share a screen with either of her boys on the group calls, she just physically cannot...most of the time. she’s better with Cad than Fjord, but Cad sort of is known to wander the apartment and goes in and out of both Jester and Fjord’s screens.

Jester has “kidnapped” Luke a few times to go bake cookies with her and Cad, and by “kidnapped” i do mean that she forgot to tell Veth she was doing it (thus leading to her catching Essek in Caleb’s, cause Luke either goes there or to Jester’s)

Beau got trapped at her parents’ in the suburbs and HATES it. she was in the middle of moving in with Yasha, so yeah, she’s been getting “talked out of doing that” a bunch. that’s why she was annoyed more than amused when the wild Essek appeared, because sure he could escape his annoying family, but she couldn’t, uhg!

Jester’s known to leave the M9 group call to go answer other calls (like from Cali or her mom, or even her dad surprisingly enough-he’s been very nice offering to get hard to find supplies for his daughter and her boys...and we don’t ask how he comes by these goods...). sometimes she’ll come back to the M9 call, other times she’ll crash Fjord’s feed

idk if Cad is preg with Cami or not. on the one had, Fjord is trapped with a pregnant firbolg and a tiefling on sugar withdrawals, so that could be funny...on the other, Cad would get really claustrophobic or the like, because he feels like he should be doing stuff and can’t. either way, at the start they’re all “pft, we won’t have to worry about having a baby at home, it won’t last that long” but as time goes on...

as said before, Ashe, Luke, and TJ have a “tiny tots business conference call”

i’m torn between Cali getting stuck at the Ironbrood home for quarantine and that’s how Jester learns her bff is dating someone OR her being home, and her parents accidentally interrupt a video chat with Tarn (that might have been getting steamy lol) and that’s how her parents find out

Beau has really gotten into Words With Friends or whatever and nags everyone to play with her; Molly keeps cheating by using pharmaceutical words, and Caleb uses zemnian

‘Ness pretty much stays to the background of Molly’s feed, except when they go a group game night playing Quiplash or something of the like

Cad video chats with his family at least every other day; it took Clarabelle and Calliope walking their parents through how to use the video app, but they figured it out eventually

[pixieposts]

Broken Like Me

TW: alcohol abuse, drug use (weed), mentions of past drug addiction, intrusive thoughts, suicidal idealization

Caleb Widogast did not want to die. Not in the slightest, he knew what “wanting to die” felt like, and this wasn’t it.  

He had wanted to die when his parents burned in their beds because he ratted out the wrong professor.  He had wanted to die when he was living on the streets, veins pumped with enough poison to turn every face into those of his family.

He had wanted to die when Veth had taken that poison away and he had been forced back into his own mind for the first time in years.

So no, Caleb Widogast did not want to die.

His reason for being in this dingy bar, on a stool older than he was, with yet another double of whiskey in front of him was much less dramatic.  He just didn’t want to think anymore.  He didn’t want to think about how despite having more money than he had ever dreamed of, and a job he genuinely loved, and a name that was well known in Arcane circles, he was miserable.  

Yes, his best friend had moved not just out of Zadash but right out of the Empire to be with her husband, then gotten pregnant and stopped calling.  And yes, he had a hell of a messy break-up not three weeks later with the drow he thought he would spend his life with.  And yes, his other best friend was looking at him with a mix of pity and anger that she nearly always wore around him now… but he didn’t want to die.

So, that was something.

“Caleb” Beau grumbled, tugging the empty glass away from him “go home, you’re drunk as fuck and I know for a fact that you work tomorrow”  

“So d’you” his words were slurred, but that was to be expected

“Yeah, but I’m not drunk” she sighed “let me call you a cab”  

“Nein Beauregard” he glared at both of her “I am fine, wunderbar even.  All I need is for you to refill that for me”  

He tapped the glass in her hand, missing and getting her hand instead.  Ah well, the point would still get across.  She rolled her eyes, but refilled the glass anyway.

“Danke” he downed half of it and stood up “I will be back, do not take that away”

She snapped a salute before flipping him off, he managed a smirk in response.  

He stumbled out the door into the cold winter air, it had started snowing lightly while he’d been inside… he would need to pick up some Winterscrest gifts to send to Veth and her family.  He wondered drunkenly what on Exandria you bought for a six month old while he lit his cigarette, savouring the first drag.  He leaned against the crumbling brick wall and stared up at the cloudy sky, he could just make out the nearly full moon above him.  

Caleb had always liked winter, it was colder up north where he was from and the farm always looked like a post card by the time he got home for the winter holidays.  It had been a beautiful spot.

He sighed, putting out his half-finished smoke and flicking it into the garbage can.  So much for not thinking.  He sat back on his stool, idly spinning the glass in his hand while Beau took a phone call.  He was tired, so damn tired.  He should go home and sleep, shouldn’t have come out tonight at all really.  Beau was right, he had work tomorrow and he was supposed to be guest lecturing in the afternoon as well.  He laid is head on the bar, pillowed by one bent arm and looked watched Beau nod at her phone call.  

He was an idiot, why did she still put up with him.  He was a drunk.  

Hadn’t always been one, but he could admit to himself that he certainly was now.  Non-drunks didn’t spend every night at a dive bar drinking cheap whiskey until they couldn’t speak common anymore.  

He sighed again.  

“Have we reached the sad phase already?  That usually takes longer” Beau half-teased as she walked over “Also you might not want to lay there, I ran out of bleach until tomorrow”  

He shrugged “was that Gustav?”  

She nodded, pushing a bowl of pretzels towards him.  He sat up and took one, taking a bite obediently  

“How is his husband doing?”  

���Better he says, but he’s still going to be off for a while” she pushed a glass of water to him now and waited while he took a sip “he hired some extra help, some new guy to take the day shift since I’ve gotta get back to the Soul”  

He hummed in response, finishing off his whiskey and following it with the rest of the glass of water.  The next few hours are a drunken blur until finally Beau is pushing him into a cab and giving his address.    

He stumbled in the door of his apartment, glaring around at it.  He had moved in a few weeks after Veth left their old place, unable to stand looking at the walls they had painted and the furniture they had thrifted.  This place was much nicer, objectively, but he hadn’t done anything other than move his stuff in.  Jester had helped him pick out furniture, everything was understated and comfortable.  Warm dark wood and soft browns and greens.  The only thing he had really picked himself had been the over-large leather armchair.  Beau called it his ‘professor chair’ and had shown up with a green plaid throw blanket the next day that he dutifully folded over the back of it.  

He kicked off his boots, tossed his old coat on the hook and made for his room.  He would shower in the morning to help wake himself up for work.  

———————————————————————————————————–

Fjord needs this job.  Like, needs it or he’ll be out on the street type of needs it.  The bar was the only place to call him back when he applied.  He’s not particularly surprised, having spent his entire teen and young adult life on shipping vessels doesn’t make for a lot of job experience.  But he has his bar tending license and he’s broken up enough brawls at the shipyard to know he could handle drunk college kids.  The bar looks like any college bar in any college town.  It’s a two story building between a pawn shop and another bar, the wooden sign is faded but clearly had been bright to start.  The blinds are drawn and the windows have the same metal bars on them as the other businesses.  He was greeted at the door by a very tall, very pale woman with mismatched eyes and a much softer voice than he had been expecting.

He’d never admit it, but the woman walking him through his tour is terrifying.  She’s tanned, ripped but in that lean way that if she wasn’t in a literal sports bra and sweats, he’d never have known.  Her dark hair is up in a top knot, showing the buzzed undercut and the intricate tattoo on the back of her neck.  But it’s the eyes, sharp and pale blue, giving him a look that clearly says she’s sizing him up.  Somehow, he doesn’t doubt she could kick his ass in a fight.  She had introduced herself as Beau, gripped his forearm to shake instead of his hand, and started the tour without so much as a ‘nice to meet you’.

The inside of the bar is much like he expected, dark mahogany wood tables and chairs (all of them scuffed with years of use), a dance floor and small stage at the far end.  The actual bar-top itself ran along the side closest to the door, bathrooms were down a small hallway at the end.  There was a small office upstairs with a live security feed going on the old tv.  

They made their way back down, Beau locking the office door first.  She leaned up against the bar and he followed suit.  

“So, you’ll mainly be tending bar” Beau started, indicating the wall of booze “you’ll cover for Yasha on her days off though”  

Fjord nodded “Yeah, no problem at all”

Beau looked back at him curiously “where are you from anyway?”

“Port Damali, or around there anyway”  

Fjord was used to the question; his accent was always considered odd in the empire.  

“Huh, cool cool.” She looked over the currently empty bar and sighed “okay so…”

He raised an eyebrow, that didn’t sound good

“We’ve got a couple regulars you should be aware of” she laughed at whatever his expression must have shown “nothing crazy, they’re good folks just… you should know when to call the cab”

He nodded, that sounded a lot like the bars on the coast if he was honest.  

“So there’s Reani, she has a halo” he chose not to comment on that “she’s sweet, but after a bit too much wine you’ll need to send her home before her inner law major comes out and she starts trying to either arrest or psychoanalyse people.”  

He smirked, oh so this bar had those kinds of regulars.  

“Then there’s Keg, she can get pretty rowdy after too much beer”

He nodded

“And then… well…” she seemed to hesitate now, and he furrowed his brows at her. Did this bar actually have a ‘problem’ regular?  

Beau sighed “there’s Caleb” he nodded “nerdy ginger, Zemnian accent, only orders whiskey” she looked off to the side now “He only gets cut off if he stops speaking common or passes out”

There was a pause.

“I…I’m sorry, what?”  

Who the hell got to stick around to the point of passing out?

Beau rubbed the back of her neck as her expression turned some mix of embarrassment and sadness.

“He… The owner, Gus, cuts him extra slack ‘cause he never causes a scene” she looked at him almost pleadingly “he’s a really good guy, he just… he’s been through a lot”  

Fjord nodded, trying to be compassionate.  The guy was a friend of the owner, and got a little extra slack, it was fine.  

“Just…” Beau paused again, biting her lip “if he… call me or Yasha if he seems too far past that.  Don’t let him get in the cab without one of us”  

Oh.  Oh… Fjord understood now.  This Caleb was a friend of the bar, not just the owner.  That made more sense.  He nodded, taking her and Yasha’s cell numbers and adding them to his phone.  

The next hour was spent with Beau making sure he knew where everything was located behind the bar, and making sure he knew the lock code for the employee entrance at the back.

—

It was two weeks before he worked the bar on a night when the mysterious Caleb came in.  Fjord was wiping down some glasses when he saw a man sit down at the end of the bar, farthest from the door.  He was pale, dressed like a librarian with fine ginger hair tied back in a low bun.  Fjord set down the glass and walked over, a smile on his face.

“Well hey there, what can I get’cha?”  

The man looked up at him and Fjord felt all the air go out of his lungs at once.  Eyes the colour of the ocean at twilight looked up at him from the pale face, with bags that were so dark they nearly looked fake.  

“Hallo there” the soft accent only made it harder for him to breath “you are new… you must be Fjord, ja?”  

The way this mans accent caught ever so slightly on his name was instantly almost too much.  Fjord just nodded as he remembered Beaus description from weeks before

“I am, you must be Caleb” he threw the human his most charming smile, tusks and all “I’m pleased to meet you…whiskey, right?”  

Caleb smiled now, or what Fjord assumed counted for a smile… it was really more a slight tilt of the head combined with the smallest quirk of his lips.

“Ja, Beauregard has warned you about me I suppose?”

Fjord shrugged, pulling the golden liquor off the shelf, and pouring just a bit more than a double  

“She said I’d meet you eventually”  

Caleb took the drink and held it up in cheers “how long have you been here Mister Fjord?” he drained it in one long drink.  Fjord tried not to stare.  

“Just about three weeks, mostly the day shift though” he refilled the empty glass “no need for that ‘mister’ stuff here, just Fjord is fine”  

Caleb eyed him over the rim of his refilled glass, and Fjord fought the instinct to shiver under the blue stare.  

“Well then Fjord, I am pleased to finally meet you… hopefully we will see more of each other”  

Fjord smiled again “sounds good to me, Beau’s been taking more shifts at the Soul anyway”  

Caleb nodded, his expression going from calculating to fond so quickly it was shocking

“She deserves it, she has worked very hard to earn her place there… it will be nice to see her move up in life”  

“You care about her”

Caleb smirked down into his nearly empty glass, Fjord couldn’t help the shock at how quickly the man drank.  

“Ja, she is one of two people who have known me at my worst and continue to stay with me, I want the best for her”  

Oh, that explained why Beau had been so adamant about Caleb not being kicked out, there was something else going on there.  

Fjord refilled his glad “she seems like good folk to me”

Caleb did in fact stay until nearly it was nearly closing time, he was quiet at first but Fjord kept up a steady stream of chatter and questions when he wasn’t serving other customers.  He noticed that the ginger never really smiled when he talked… the most Fjord could get were those little half smirks or a laugh that was more like a huff.  

He didn’t really know why he wanted Caleb to smile, he just had a feeling that it would be worth it.  

Well… that, and Fjord had always been a sucker for a man with blue eyes.  

He learned that Caleb was some kind of prodigy, graduating university at 20 (having started at 16).  He had lived in Zadash since his graduation, but only started working for the school five years ago.  He claimed not to remember the first three years after his graduation at all, and the way his hands had started to shake had stopped Fjord from pressing.  

He wrote a book, apparently, and also had “about a dozen, maybe” published research papers.  

In return for all of this, Fjord told him about his life at sea.  Caleb had brightened up then, asking questions about what it had been like to spend so much time on the water.  Had asked if he missed it.  

He did, a little, but after Vandran… After Sabien… he couldn’t go back.  

He hadn’t told Caleb that though.

———————————————————————————————————–

Caleb found himself heading for the bar earlier these days.  Part of it was the added stress of the new courses the university had asked him to teach… but if he was honest with himself (and who else could he be honest with these days) part was also… Fjord.  

The half-orc had been a pleasant surprise, he was funny and charismatic, and seemed genuinely interested in Caleb’s work.  

Two days after they met, Caleb had gone into the bar a few hours earlier, almost smiling when he saw amber eyes look up at him.  He had taken his usual seat at the otherwise empty bar, Fjord pouring him a drink before leaning on his forearms and smiling at him.  

The man did have a great smile.  

“Afternoon Caleb, didn’t think I’d get to see you today, Beau’s gonna be here any time”  

“I am lucky my class ended early today then hm?”

“Nah, I’m the lucky one” Fjord winked and refilled his glass

They spent the last hour of Fjord’s shift talking, and Caleb drank much slower than he usually would as the other man all but interrogated him about his new classes.  Beau waved, smirking when she arrived, taking her spot behind the bar and shooing Fjord away.  

Caleb sighed as the other man headed for the back, downing the rest of his drink.  At least he would have more time to drink now.  

“Not excited to see your best friend hm?” Beau teased, refilling his glass “I see how it is, you like the new guy better”  

He smirked at her “well, you have to admit he’s much better looking”

She threw a drying rag at him, along with a string of her best curses.

“Oh, so we are allowed to cuss out the customers then, I meant to ask”  

They both looked over to see Fjord leaning up against the bar and smiling at them.  Beau laughed as Caleb took the moment of distraction to throw the rag back at her.

“Only this customer, ‘cause he’s an ass”

“Takes one to know one” he retorted, flicking a pretzel at her

“Oh real mature, such a very clever answer from the local genius.  See what I have to deal with Fjord?”  

Fjord was laughing now, a deep rumbling laugh that matched his voice.  Caleb finished another drink as the still chuckling man took the bar stool next to him.

“How long have you two known each other?  I would swear you were related if I didn’t know better”  

“Ja, Beauregard here is my long-lost annoying sister, you have discovered our secret”  

“Nah, this old man is secretly my real dad who ran off and left me with the shit one”  

Caleb scoffed in mock outrage “I am not that old, Scheisse” he turned to Fjord, sighing “I do not know why I still come here, honestly”  

He flinched as Beau flicked him with her towel “It’s cause you love me dumbass, you know it” she refilled his glass “and who else will listen to you rant about arcane theory all night?”  

She turned to Fjord “want a drink, or has the grumpy old man who haunts the bar scared you off?”

Caleb sputtered indignantly, though it was mostly for show.  He was, after all, a grumpy old man who haunted the bar.  

Fjord chuckled “sure, just a beer is fine”

They drank in silence for a while as more people started to arrive, Caleb pulled out his notebook and flipped to the page he had been working on that afternoon.  

“What’cha got there?”  

He looked over to see Fjord looking back curiously and felt something in his chest loosen.  

“Well,” he began, sliding the book closer to the half-orc and leaning in “I am working on a new spell”  

The hours had gone by in a blur, not the usual drunken blur of his nights at the bar, but one of conversation and explanation.  Caleb found himself talking more than he had in ages (not counting his lectures), and at the end of the night his tab had been far lower.  He went home, choosing to walk the short distance instead of getting a cab, and fell asleep without his usual tossing and turning.  

And so, their new tradition was born.  He still went to the bar every day (which Beau claimed was “unhealthy”) but he left before closing and his bills stayed lower.  This new combination of Fjord’s company (because Caleb couldn’t deny that it was Fjords company that had changed his routine) and his whiskey was doing what the whiskey alone hadn’t in weeks.  

He didn’t think.  The angry voice in his head was muted and his nightmares stayed away… it was a nice change.  

Of course, as nice as his evenings had become, his mind was still as it had always been.  Which he realized when, one morning on a rare day off he was reaching for a knife to cut up some fruit for breakfast.  He grabbed the first one his hands touched, an old steak-knife that had come over from the old apartment

Stab. End it.  

He sighed, put the knife back in the drawer and tossed the fruit back in the fridge.  He wasn’t hungry anyway.  

———————————————————————————————————–

“Mister Caleb!” Fjord greeted, a month after he had met the man.  He had realized that on top of being attractive, the wizard had been downplaying his academic achievements that first night.  He had written dozens of papers on Arcana (most of which Fjord had read on his off time), along with having created a spell that allowed for permanent transfiguration of a persons form… and now he was a guest professor at Zadash University.  

The thing was… none of that really mattered as far as Fjord was concerned.  Because despite all of it, Caleb was polite, kind and just… genuinely good to everyone who spoke to him.

“Guten Abend Fjord, you’ve had a good day I hope?”  

Fjord nodded, pouring his usual just-a-bit-more than a double and sliding it over before leaning on the counter.  

“So, what brilliant stuff have you been up to today?”  

Caleb sighed, taking a long sip from his glass before responding

“Today I dealt with confused first years and also answered several angry emails from my publisher”

Fjord paused, refilling his glass out of habit  

“Why was the publisher angry?”

Caleb smirked ruefully at him “Well, it turns out that there are several free versions of my research papers floating around, allowing students to use them without paying an exorbitant fee” he shot the double back like it was nothing, and Fjord tried not to watch his throat as he swallowed “and the publisher did not appreciate my response to the situation”  

Fjord cleared his throat “wh-what response was that?”  

Caleb looked him in the eye and smirked “I told them I didn’t care, and that I have no interest in pursuing legal action”  

He winked, leaning in conspiratorially and Fjords stomach flipped  

“What she doesn’t know… is that I am the one leaking everything”  

Fjord felt the smile build across his face.  This man… he was something else.  

They spent the next several hours talking, Fjord finding himself leaning across the bar as the human described his most recent research paper.  Fjord loved magic, and Caleb loved talking about it.  It didn’t hurt that at one point the man got frustrated and tugged the hair tie out of his hair, sending a cascade of ginger waves over his shoulders and making Fjord stutter.  

“Caleb, I gotta ask” he started tentatively  

Caleb hummed in response, too-blue eyes catching his

“What in the hells are you wasting your time here for?  You’ve gotta be the smartest person I’ve ever met”  

Caleb eyed him for a moment, draining the rest of his glass before he smiled one of his new, tentative smiles, tilting his head to expose the long column of pale neck.

“Sometimes I just need to… not think anymore” Caleb looked up at him through long lashes, mouth parted slightly “and… I’ve been thinking lately…” he paused, worrying his bottom lip “if you should ever find yourself in a similar situation” he pulled out a gods damned fountain pen, wrote a phone number on his napkin and pushed it across the bar “give me a call ja?”  

Fjord took the napkin, blinking in surprise as Caleb stood and headed for the door.  

“He likes you” Beau sounded surprised as she walked over, watching her friend leave.

“I mean, he’s a nice guy… even if he does drink like a fish”  

She eyed him for a moment, clearly trying to decide if she should say whatever she was thinking

“He’s… been through a lot of shit” She pulled a glass over and started cleaning it “drinking isn’t the best way to deal, but it’s better than others… and honestly he doesn’t drink nearly as much when you’re on shift”  

He raised and eyebrow at her and she shrugged  

“I haven’t had to pour him into a cab since you started, which is a distinct improvement”  

She smirked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye “and I don’t see you throwing that away” she tilted her head towards the napkin in his hand “so I guess you like him too”  

He shrugged, the truth was that he did like Caleb, how could he not?  Even with the clear drinking problem he had been nothing but nice.  And he was smart, and handsome… and fucking funny when he wanted to be.  

He looked down at the napkin for a moment before pulling out his phone and adding it in.  

“What the hell, gotta take a chance sometime” he muttered as he hit the little save button.  

“Hell yeah!” Beau said responded, punching his shoulder lightly “just as a side note”

He looked over at her, she was adding the clean glass to the stacks beneath the bar  

“You’re my friend Fjord, I like you… but if you hurt him, I’ll punch you so hard your ancestors will feel it, cool?”  

He smirked “yeah, sounds good”