#OH GOD IT'S BREACHED CONTAINMENT SO BADLY

[venacoeurva]

tee hee hee [lays in barrow nook]

[ohbuckie]

ALPHA SIGMA WHATEVER-THE-FUCK | B.B.

Summary: Bucky’s a douchebag frat brother, but Christ, is he delicious.

Warnings: smut, bathroom sex, drinking (both parties are sober and able to give consent), mention of drugs

Word Count: 1.7k

Bucky Barnes. Conceited, loud, irritating. Built like a Greek God—with that perfect jaw, and those thick forearms, and that firm chest. All of his t-shirts are a size too small, and he’s never been caught wearing a baseball cap forwards, or without a protein shake in his hand.

“Hey, Y/N,” he jogs to catch up with you, “what’s up?”

“Walking.” You answer dryly. It’s unsurprising, really, that he just randomly bumped into you. He always seems to.

“Where?”

“To class.”

“I won’t keep you long, then.”

“Please don’t ‘keep me’ at all, Bucky. What do you want?”

“I’m having a party tonight. Thought you could come. Wear something cute.”

“Don’t be gross.”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are.” You step up to the building that your class is in, and turn to him to speak. “I’ll come if I don’t have to bring anything.”

“Perfect. Beach theme.”

Of course it is. Any excuse for every girl there to be wearing the smallest outfit possible.

“Okay, whatever.” You step through the door, and hear him again before it closes behind you.

“Wear that blue bikini top you have!”

“You’re a freak, Barnes!”

—

You show up in the bikini top he mentioned, but only because your roommate, Natasha, told you it looked better than the other ones. You’re wearing an unbuttoned tropical shirt over it, and shorts on the bottom, which is a lot tamer than some of the other girls in the house, dressed in only bikinis, or a t-shirt with just bottoms. You won’t allow Bucky to see you like that without working for it first.

He greets you at the door, dressed in only swim trunks and sunglasses and holding a can of cheap beer. His best friend, Steve Rogers, steps up behind him to greet Natasha, who he so obviously wants to fuck. He takes the bowl of veggie dip that she insisted on bringing from her hands and gestures for her to come inside. You roll your eyes.

“What, you got a crush on Stevie?”

“He makes it so obvious how badly he wants to bang her.” You explain, thinking maybe he’ll take the hint. He doesn’t. “Where are the drinks?”

“I’ll show you.” He waves you inside and leads you to the counter through the sea of people already in the house, pointing to where all of the containers of mixed drinks are, telling you about what’s in them. You’re really only paying attention to the way the muscles of his back interact, how they tense and move as he moves his arms to point and turns around to look at you while he speaks. “You listening?” He grins.

“Wha- uh, yeah, of course.” You feel your cheeks heat up, and you hate that he caught you staring. If he wasn’t so insufferable, you’d have slept with him by now, but he insists on being the biggest douchebag anybody’s ever met.

“You want me to get you a drink?”

“No, thanks. I’m perfectly capable.”

“Yeah, okay. Alright, I’m gonna go find Sam. Maybe he doesn’t have a stick up his ass.”

You scoff and find a cup, filling it with whatever the last thing Bucky showed you was; sangria, probably. It’s much too strong, but you don’t mind so much—it’s not like you came here to be sober.

It doesn’t take long for Natasha and Steve to loosen up enough to be grinding on each other—Steve’s chest pressed against her back, his hands on her waist, his lips on the side of her neck. Bucky and Sam are playing beer pong with a few other brothers, yelling everything they say and spilling drinks on each other.

You’re only a couple in—far from drunk—but the way that Bucky’s personality takes up the entire room is far more intoxicating than any alcohol in this house. He has streams of beer dribbling down his chin and chest, and perhaps it’s a little unhinged. but you want nothing more than to lick it off.

You step over to him and he instinctively puts his arm around your waist. “You wanna do this one?”

“Oh, no, I’m not-”

“No, no, come on, I’ll show you.” He stands behind you and takes your wrist in his hand, pulling it back to where it needs to be. “Be gentle with it. Use your wrist more than your elbow.” He places the ball in your hand, and trusts you to do the rest, standing back with his arms crossed over his chest. You flick the plastic towards the gathering of Solo cups across the table and, miraculously, falls into one. Bucky throws his arms up and cheers for you, watching Sam drink across the table.

He looks down at you with a smile on his face, and it goes straight to your stomach. You stick to him for the rest of the game, taking his turns and letting him keep his hands on you. You realize his hands have never been on you before, but you very much like it; he knows where to keep them.

When you win, you take the opportunity to kiss him, feeling overly confident from the adrenaline that comes with an entire room of people cheering for you. His lips are soft, and he holds you close, with one hand on your back and the other on your waist. He’s a decent kisser—not too slobbery, like most other frat guys—and can keep his tongue to himself, for the most part. One of his friends shoves him playfully, and you pull away from him, giggling.

“You’re not drunk, right?” He asks, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

You shake your head. “Are you?”

“Nope.” He takes your hand and brings you to the hallway near the bathroom, pushing you against the wall and pressing his lips to yours again. His hands cup your cheeks, and this time, his tongue makes an appearance. It moves along your bottom lip, making its way into your mouth. He tastes like beer and smells like Irish Spring, but it acts as a pheromone of sorts, and makes you want him even more.

His knee slides between your legs and presses against your core, and you wrap your arms around his neck to try to get closer, if that’s even possible. His breath fans over your cheek and his thumb rubs your cheekbone, but before anything allows this moment to be sweet, somebody pats Bucky on the back and informs him that the bathroom is now free.

He wastes no time in pulling you through the door, nearly slamming it behind him. Your lower back hits the counter and sends a pain up your spine, but you quickly forget it when his hands move down your torso and stop at your ass. He kisses down your neck sloppily, holding your head back by your hair. He pushes your shirt down your shoulders, urging you to shimmy it off of your arms, which you do.

“Turn around.” He breathes, running his fingers through his thick hair.

You stare at him, distracted, before processing his words and doing as he asked. You bend over the counter and feel him reach around you to unbutton your shorts, letting them fall to the floor.

“You wore the matching bottoms?” He chuckles, hotly kissing the nape of your neck.

You shrug. “They’re cute.”

He responds only by saying “Uh-huh,” and tugging them down past your thighs.

“How many girls have you fucked in here, Barnes?”

“That’s not relevant.” He mumbles, and you hear his belt hit the floor. “Drawer next to you is condoms.” You open it and find what you’re looking for, holding your hand behind your back with the packet between your fingertips.

He unwraps it quickly and takes a moment to roll it down his cock before he rubs the tip against your pussy, earning a surprised gasp from you. Slowly, he breaches your entrance, and he’s a lot bigger than you expected, with how big of a douchebag he is.

“Fuck, Bucky.”

“I’ve been telling you we should fuck.”

“Shut up.” You moan. “You’re ruining it.”

He grabs onto your hips and pulls you backwards, bottoming out completely. He starts thrusting shallowly, and you can feel him staring at where your bodies meet, watching himself disappear inside of you like he’s wanted to for so long.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so hot.” He moans, deepening his thrusts and picking up the pace.

You look down at your hands—pressed against the porcelain, slipping back and forth every time Bucky fucks himself into you. There’s powder beneath your fingers, but you decide you won’t try to guess if it’s cocaine or something else.

You hear his skin slapping against yours, echoing off of the walls, surely loud enough for anybody outside to hear. “God, Buck, it feels-”

“So fucking good.”

You nod. “Uh-huh.”

He continues fucking you, so that your pelvic bones dig into the counter in front of you, and your toes just barely reach the floor. He takes a fistful of your hair and yanks your head backwards so that you’re staring at the mirror.

“Look at me while I fuck you.”

It makes you swallow hard and clench around him, and it’s probably the first time you’ve ever done something he’s told you to do without any hesitation. You look at his concentrated face, the sweat gleaming on his forehead and chest, his teeth digging into his lower lip to keep himself quiet. He’s never been so dedicated to something in his entire life.

You feel him hit a spot inside of you that’s never been touched before, and it makes you cry out. “Goddamnit, Barnes! Fuck, I’m close, don’t stop!”

“Was not planning on it.” He says, snapping his hips until your knees buckle and shake, and you tell him you’re cumming. He fucks you through it, and finishes in the middle of your orgasm, pushing himself all the way into you until he spills everything he has into the condom. “Fuck.” He mutters, and pulls out of you, tying the condom and tossing it in the trash can next to the toilet.

You stand straight and gather your things from the floor—your button-up, your swimsuit bottoms, your shorts—before putting them back on and turning to face him. “I didn’t think you knew how to do that.”

“How to do what?”

“Make a girl cum.”

[allegra-writes]

Black Magic Girl

Peter Parker x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut

The request:

PLS! I have this request I was thinking about for a while and it’s like te reader is a witch that casts a spell on Peter, it’s kind of like a truth spell that also lowers inhibitions, and he literally ravishes her because of it cause he’s wanted her since he first met her and now he literally cannot control himself.

And:

I have read so many Peter Parker fanfics but the one I want soooo badly is where Peter Parker gets suuper dominant. Do you think you could write it? Pleaseeee 🌸

MY MASTERLIST

"Got me so blind I can't see

That she's a black magic woman

And she's tryin' to make a devil out of me"

- Black magic woman, Fleetwood Mac.

"Peter? Peter…" Your voice reached him like through a haze, or like he was underwater, your increasingly frantic tone cutting through the fog inside his head. "Please, Peter, please just… just open your eyes…"

He didn't want to, he truly didn't want to, his head was killing him and his stomach felt queasy. Almost as if he was hungover, but that wasn't possible.

"Ow… ouch…"

"Oh, thank the gods!" You almost sobbed in relief as his eyes fluttered open.  He was ok. You helped him sit up on the floor, and he smiled, a little loopilly, at you.

"Hey…" He greeted, leaning heavily on you, so close that you could feel his warm breath on your face, "Wha- what happened?"

Peter frowned, taking a look around the interrogation room: the metal table, chairs and even the prisoner were overturned and laying messily around the both of you.

You flinched,

"I was trying to cast a spell…"

Oh, yeah, the spell, he remembered now. The herbs, the chanting, the rose-gold light.

"The truth spell," He recalled, "You were trying to cast a truth spell, for- for the asgardian dude…"

"Yeah…"

"What happened?"

You sighed,

"It kinda… exploded I guess"

"Kid! Are you alright?" Tony and Steve came running from the hallway, no doubt having seen the whole thing through the security cameras.

"Fine, Mr. Stark," He stood, steadying himself with your help, "just a little dizzy"

"What about you, doll, you ok?" Steve hovered over you and you could swear a soft growl vibrated in Peter's chest "This is our fault, I knew we shouldn't have let you try this alone"

You controlled the urge to roll your eyes, it was always like that with the Captain, he was always babying you, underestimating you. You hated it.

"I'm fine"

"But the spell backfired, it-"

"No… I don't think it did" You interrupted him, "I mean, it didn't hit me, it didn't knock me back like…" You trailed off. Like it had done everything else .

"Woah, Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good" Peter stumbled, both you and Tony holding him to stop him from falling face first on the floor.

"Kiddo, what is it? Talk to me"

Peter babbled intelligibly. You cursed.

"What? What is going on, y/n?" Tony questioned, visibly worried, ignoring Steve's automatic language protest.

"I-I think it worked. His pupils are dilated, we need to take him to the med bay, fast!"

"Why? I mean it's just a truth spell…"

"It's not just any truth spell" You snapped, "It's like… like a gallon of alcohol all at once, it loosens your tongue by lowering your inhibitions to the point of nonexistence! You tell the truth because the filter between your brain and your mouth disappears!"

Peter looked positively green now,

"Oh, shit! Take me to the med bay, take me to the med bay NOW! Mr. Stark, please!"

Tony's eyes flickered between you and his protege's terrified face, he knew exactly what Peter was afraid to tell you.

And he actually thought it was about time.

"Sorry, underoos, prisoner is waking up, we have to start this interrogation right away" he apologized, sounding anything but sorry, "but you can walk, it's not that far, you can lock yourself there until the effect wears out."

"Oh, princess, go with him, would ya? Make sure he doesn't get into any trouble on the way" Tony added as an afterthought. You nodded and took Peter's arm as you guided him out of the room, none of you paying any mind to the super soldiers protests.

"Please, you don't have to do this" Peter tried to disentangle from you once you were far enough from the older Avengers ears, "I- I can make it to the bay by myself"

You scoffed,

"Is that true?"

"No, I just wanna get away from you fast" Peter blurted out. You stopped dead in your tracks.

"What? Why?" You tried to keep the hurt out of your voice, you really did.

"Because" His breathy voice in your ear sent an unexpected shiver down your spine as he leaned even closer, putting more of his weight on you, "I don't trust myself near you right now"

You gulped. There was something in his voice, something you couldn't put your finger on. Something primal, almost dark. The shift in him was so sudden it left you stunned, dazed.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean it takes me a lot of self control to keep myself away from you" He explained, between gritted teeth, the struggle clear in his tone, "and I can feel that control slip away… I don't know… how much longer can I keep it together"

You turned to meet his eyes and you found them darkened with lust, with barely contained desire.

"What if… what if I don't want you to stay away from me?"

A helpless noise left his throat, a wordless surrender, as his will finally broke, as he crushed his lips to yours. He nibbled at your lower lip before licking it, before coaxing your mouth open with his tongue. You felt your body come alive, every nerve ending screaming for more, more of the taste of his tongue, more of his body against yours. You snaked your arms around his neck and felt his twist around your waist, one hand splayed on your back, pressing you closer. He started pushing you, walking you back, but instead of hitting the wall like you expected, you both kept moving. It wasn't until the back of your thighs collided with a metal table that you realized he had guided you into another interrogation room.

You grabbed onto the table to stop from falling back on it, and Peter took advantage of that to shove his pelvis against yours, forcing you to sit on it as he stepped between your legs. You gasped for air as he released your lips. He disentangled one arm from around your back. You heard, more than saw, the spider webs that closed and locked the door; you hadn't noticed he was still wearing his web-shooters under his black stealth suit. Another hiss, and the security camera was out.

"Peter… what are you doing?"

He ignored your question, capturing your lips again, pressing himself harder against you, his erection against your center making what was on his mind perfectly clear.

You pushed at his chest until he freed your mouth,

"Peter, wait, we can't" You tried to reason as his lips traced their way down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, undoubtedly leaving marks. "You're under a spell, this isn't you!"

"But it is me" He contended, catching your hands in a vice-like grip, "I wanted you for so long… and you want me to, I know it. I can smell it on you" He whispered the last part against your lips, tongue peeking out to lick at the corner of your mouth.

"Wh-why didn't you…" You tried to focus your swimming head enough to make sense, "You never said anything"

Peter was on you again, kissing you with a ferocity you would have never believed the sweet boy capable of.

"I couldn't" He grunted, when he finally broke the kiss, "you're their little girl. The baby of the group. Their innocent little princess, who can do no wrong…" He shook his head, "And the things I wanted to do you. That I still want to do to you…"

You bristled at his words, you weren't even the youngest one. Peter was, actually. And he was twenty-three. If he was treated like an adult you didn't see why you shouldn't be. You wanted Peter to fuck you, not to put you on a pedestal.

You met his eyes, almost defiant.

"I'm not that innocent"

He licked his lips,

"Aren't you?"

You shook your head no,

"Show me" You demanded, "Show me what you've been dreaming of"

Peter smirked, grabbing your chin almost painfully,

"Ask me nicely"

"Please"

That was all it took, one word and he was unleashed, taking your hands and tying them at your back with another swoosh of his web-shooter, ripping open your plain white blouse, tiny pearly buttons flying everywhere. He buched it around your tied wrists, before taking a step back, admiring his work.

"I fantasized about this," He confessed, "every time we worked together at the lab: You, sitting pretty on the worktable, all tied up for me…" his eyes never left you, you flushed chest, your nipples hard behind your lacy pink bra, as he placed his palms on your knees, slowly sliding them up, "About slipping my hands under this ppretty pink skirt…" his thumbs met above your cotton covered crotch and he pressed, the fabric quickly becoming damp.

A soft moan left your lips as he rubbed up and down your slit. But it was muffled by a sticky substance suddenly covering your lips.

Peter chuckled at the dirty look you threw him. He lowered his head, breath hot on your breasts,

"I dreamed about gagging you up so they wouldn't hear your moans as I…" He brought his tongue out to lick one pebbled nipple above the coarse lace, "Yeah, just like that" He praised the muted noise you made, before bringing his hands to your chest, ripping the flimsy fabric from your body like paper scraps and really diving in, sucking and biting and bruising. He wasn't being delicate with you, he wasn't coddling you and treating you like you were about to break like everybody else. And you loved it.

He bit down on the swell of your breast and you looked down, surprised to see he hadn't drawn blood. He soothed the hurt with his tongue, looking up at you. You were gorgeous, all caught up in his webs, breathing hard and glossy eyed, already looking ravished.

He stood to whisper in your ear, as his fingers tugged your underwear to the side,

"I pictured burying my hard cock between your legs..." two long fingers breached your entrance and you let your head fell on his shoulder, "Over… and over… and over…" he punctuated every word with a sharp thrust of his fingers in and out of you, and suddenly you were glad he had gagged you. Otherwise you were sure everyone in the compound would have heard your wantom moans.

His thumb found your clit and your head fell back again and Peter took the chance to lift your skirt. The vision of his fingers glistening with your juices, gliding in and out of your pussy half covered by your white cotton panties, tableau vivant of your defiled innocence was too much for him. He took his hands off you, opening his fly and lowering his boxers just far enough to free his hard, throbbing member, impaling you in one go. You tried to get away from the sudden intrusion on instinct, he was way too thick, way too long. But he hooked his hands behind your bended knees, pulling you forward, farther down his oversized cock.

"Oh no baby," He scolded, "good sluts take what is given to them" his crass language made you shiver, and he smirked, "Don't you want to be my good little slut?"

You nodded, and his expression softened, as he snaked a hand around your back, bringing you closer, cock sinking into you deeper, inch by painfully delicious inch. Once he was buried to the hilt, he placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

"You did so good, baby girl. I knew you could take it all." His praise warmed your insides, and you relaxed into his embrace.

"Can you still make sparks with your hands tied like this?"

His question struck you as odd, but you concentrated in creating the flickers anyway, a shower of pretty lights all the answer you were able to give him.

"Good baby girl. I know I should have told you this before, but if you ever need me to stop or I do something you don't like, make red sparkles and I promise I'll stop"

You nodded your head, and he kissed you again, slowly starting to move his hips, dragging his cock almost all the way out, only to push his way back in, a little harder, a little faster every time.

"Oh baby girl… feels so good…" He moaned, "knew this would be… the best pussy I ever had"

You leaned back, bracing yourself on your bounded hands behind you, opening your legs wider, offering yourself to him.

"Yeah, like that… you like this, don't you? Like me fucking you… but sluts like it hard… and fast"

You made a noise of agreement, and he picked up his pace, hips driving into you, cock stabbing into you with no mercy. The pornographic wet sounds of skin slapping on skin resonating in the soundproof room, the sight of your pussy, juicy and red, swallowing his dick over and over… Fuck, he could see himself moving inside you, your skin rippling with every thrust, every intrusion of his massive cock. He was close, and you were too, he could tell by the way you were tensing up, the explosion imminent. But he wanted you debased, he wanted you desperate. He wanted you begging for it, begging for him.  

He wanted to ruin you.

He slipped out of you, taking a step back, leaving you empty just as you were about to fall over the edge. He chuckled darkly at your stifled cry of protest, wrapping his hand around himself, pumping it up and down his length.

You looked thoroughly wrecked: cunt fucked open, hair a mess, clothes hanging in rags around your frame. So fucking beautiful and obscene, that only a handful of strokes later, and he was painting your chest on white ribbons, marking you with his come. He grabbed your chin again, lips pressing to your webbed ones and somehow, that felt dirtier than everything he had done to you so far.

You sobbed into the kiss.

"What is it baby girl?" He cooed, fingers delicately pushing your hair away from your sweat covered forehead. "You want to come?"

You nodded frantically. Peter applied something to your lips, dissolving the webbing. He took a step back.

"Show me how much you want it"

You didn't need to be told twice, jumping from the table and falling to your knees in front of him. You made eye contact as you nuzzled his length, and saw his sharp intake of breath. You hid your smile at his little display of weakness, at the small crack of his façade of dominance.

"You know how to do this?"

You scoffed,

"I'm not a virgin!"

"I know you aren't" He cupped your face, and you twisted to capture his thumb into your mouth, "You truly aren't that innocent, are you?"

You shook your head no, releasing his digit with a pop.

"Show me how dirty you are baby girl"

A new challenging look shone in your eyes,

"As dirty as you dare to make me. Use me, Peter. Fuck my face, please"

Fuck.

He was hallucinating, he had to be. Years of watching porn, of daydreaming of you and the filthiest fantasies his brain could come up with hadn't prepared him for this, for the reality of you on your knees for him, asking him to…

Fuck!

He caressed your cheek, his other hand tangling on your hair, angling your head just so. Your lips fell open and he entered your mouth, far slower than he had entered you. He had to take it slow, otherwise he wasn't going to last, not with you still staring up at him, angelic doe eyes bright and big and adoring. He started rocking his hips, withdrawing only to surge back, a little deeper each time. You tried to suppress your gag reflex, but every time your throat constricted around him it only seemed to spur him on. Breathing was becoming hard and your eyes started to glisten with unshed tears.

"You look… so beautiful… choking on my cock" His words were strained, as you tried to massage his shaft with your tongue to the best of your abilities, drool dripping down your chin. "Prettiest little slut… ever"

You hummed, pleased, and the vibrations got him cursing out loud. He would have liked to enjoy that sinful mouth of yours longer, but he could feel the rise building again, and this time he didn't want to waste it. He had to come inside you, show you who you belonged to.

He slipped out and helped you stand, massaging your jaw and cheeks with his fingertips, before pulling you close for another earth shattering kiss. You melted into it, into him. The feeling of his clothed body against your naked skin got you reeling.

"Please" You gasped into his mouth, "Peter… please"

"God, baby girl, you beg so pretty!" He turned you around, bending you over the table. The cold metal felt delicious against your fevered skin. You felt him move behind you, flipping your skirt over your back, rolling your ruined panties down your thighs. Not being able to see him, not knowing what would come next, made it all the more exciting, your body trembling with anticipation.

His rough palms grazed your ass, grabbing handfuls of your globes, spreading them apart.

"Fuck, baby girl, you're pretty everywhere…"

One of his hands left you as he guided his cock between your folds. He felt even bigger like this, his girth stretching you in all the good ways. You were so wet that he had no problem building up a fast rhythm right away, his cock gliding in and out smoothly, your body offering no resistance as he laid it into you hard, taking hold of your bound hands for leverage, easily moving you to meet his implacable thrusts, fucking you mercilessly.

You bit your lips, trying to reign in your moans and sobs.

"Oh no, baby girl… let me hear you… let them hear you"

You were to lost in the pleasure he was inflicting upon you to be able to form a coherent question but he must have sense your confusion, because he explained,

"The cap has a crush on you... did you know that?.. He hates it… makes him feel like a dirty old man" He leaned over your back, to place a filthy lick up the side of your neck, his punishing pace never faltering, "What would he say if he saw you like this… covered in my cum, moaning like a slut, taking my cock… God you take me so well, baby girl" it was him the one moaning the end of his sentence out.

To his surprise, you giggled,

"Oh god… he would have a heart attack!"

"You don't- don't care?"

You started moving with him, fucking yourself back on his cock,

"Rather be your cockslut… than his princess"

Peter growled, and suddenly he was on your back, his weight pinning you down. If you thought he was fucking you hard before, it was nothing compared with the pistoning of his hips now, as one of his hands fisted in your hair, turning your head so he could attack your mouth with his, and the other slid underneath you, finding your clit, rubing it in quick short strokes, almost painfully. The heat became almost unbearable, the coil tightening fast, your toes curling. You couldn't breath, trapped as you were under the onslaught of his cock on your already abused pussy, filling you over and over, owning you.

"Yes! Like that, give it to me baby girl… I can feel you coming… who's the one that's making you come?"

"You!"

"Say my name" He demanded, lifting you from your feet under the power of his thrusts, "who's the only one who fucks you like this?"

"You are, Peter!" You cried as your orgasm exploded. But he didn't stop, couldn't stop, not when he could feel your walls starting to squeeze him again, thight, so thight stars were exploding behind his eyelids.

"Louder, scream for me, baby girl!"

It was too much, his cock impaling you so hard it knocked the air out of your lungs, the cruel pleasure setting every nerve ending on fire, his moans and groans in your ear as he used your body ruthlessly and unforgiving, the new climax crashing on you, stronger and more intense that the first one.

"PETER!" You heard yourself scream, felt his hot seed deep inside you… Right before the world went black.

…

The next morning, you woke up in a bed that wasn't yours, wrapped in arms that cradled you like you were something precious, and fragile, but for the first time, you didn't mind. You vaguely recalled the soft cotton of your ruined top cleaning the mess between your legs, Peter's bare chest as he dressed you in his own t-shirt to preserve your modesty. As he gathered you close, carrying you bridal style to his bedroom. But you did remember the hot bath, your back to his chest, nested between his legs, hands exploring, caressing, soothing marks and bruised spots.

And you remember the love making, the both of you insatiable now that you finally had the other in your arms. The tender promises exchanged in the sacred darkness before sunrise.

Needless to say, you were in a good mood, not even Tony sending knowing looks your way, and Steve, avoiding looking at you and Peter altogether could sour your mood. They didn't matter. Or rather, Steve didn't matter. He was in love with his own version of you, with this image he had created in his head and you weren't sorry to shatter it to pieces. Tony was Tony, and you knew he was happy for his protegee.

It wasn't until you got inside your own lab (if you could call that the half greenhouse, half library), that your mood was shaken.

"Master!" You froze in the doorway as you saw your mentor, leaning back casually against one of the tables, looking at something on his Starkpad, "You- you're back early! I thought the council was still-"

"Those old hags are still arguing with each other" He interrupted your anxious greeting, "I grew bored of them. But now I am thoroughly entertained"

You knew it was your turn to talk, to ask what was it he found so interesting. But your words died in your throat. Your hands started to sweat, and you dried them on the skirt of your pretty pink sundress. Peter had been very insistent: Only skirts and dresses from now on, he wanted you ready for him anywhere, anytime. You felt yourself heat up and tried to get a grip; this wasn't the place, nor the time for such thoughts.

Loki finally raised his gaze from the screen, blue eyes piercing through you.

"Tony asked me to take a look at this footage, find where you went wrong and correct you" he snorted, "As if I need his input in how to best train my apprentice…"

He motioned to you to come closer, playing the video again for you.

"Do you want to know what I found, my little enchantress?"

You didn't reply. You didn't have to, anyway. He didn't need it to continue.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Your work was flawless, as usual"

You dared a smile,

"Thank you, master"

He smiled back, amused, and you breathed in relief as you realized, he wasn't mad at you. He was pleased by you. "It does beg the question, why did your spell explode?"

Your smile turned into a smirk, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Because I wanted it to, of course"

He laughed, boisterous and loud and for a second, he reminded you of his brother. He was delighted, not because you had finally caught your little spider in a web of your own weaving, he couldn't care less about the boy. No, he was pleased that you had, at last, started following his advice, the one he had given you so long ago, one night you had come to him frustrated to tears, after the Avengers had refused yet again to take you into a mission with them, leaving you to paperwork and babysitting.

"I almost preferred it when they were afraid of me! At least back then they respected me…"

Loki had tsked,

"Oh, no, none of that! Always let them underestimate you, my little enchantress. Let them think you're the delicate flower in their garden, but be the serpent under it "

… And what a charming little serpent you were .

The end.

Buy me a coffee

[sm-entertain-me]

Special Delivery (M)

Contains: Mark Lee x (f) reader, adult language, sexual themes, smut, best friend!Jaehyun, delivery boy!Mark, marking kink, fingering, begging kink?, light cum tasting, unprotected sex, creampie, crushes to lovers!au.

Synopsis: There’s a new delivery boy at your favorite pizza joint and he just so happens to be the person you were hopelessly in love with during high school.

“You will not believe who I just saw delivering pizza for Giovanni’s last night,” Jaehyun’s voice shouted excitedly from the opposite line, clearly excited about it. Usually you didn’t really buy into anything Jaehyun had to say, mostly because he would be talking about girls non stop, but you decided to humor the poor horndog.

“Who, Jae?” You asked in a voice that showed absolutely no hint of interest whatsoever as you cuddled a bowl of popcorn on your couch, scrolling through the multiple titles that shined brightly at you through your darkened room. Tonight you were feeling adventurous and decided to look for some horror movies, remembering that Yuta told you to check out the new zombie flick Train to Busan. You wondered why he was so into horror, probably because Sicheng forced him to watch as a tradeoff for watching anime.

Jaehyun’s unimpressed huffing could be heard on the other line, you imagining his eyes glazing over while his lips formed a thin line, “Seriously, Y/N. Here me out. It’s about a guy this time, a guy you actually know.” Let it be known that this is the first time Jaehyun would be calling you at way past 11 o’clock at night and not talking about a girl he was either interested in fucking or already was. Yes, Jaehyun was the kind of best friend that would call you for some sex advice as he’s fucking the poor girl. What a breach of privacy.

“Oookaay, fine then,” You responded, your voice slightly muffled due to you shoving a handful of buttered popcorn into your mouth. “Who’s this guy that I supposedly know?”

You could practically hear the smirk forming on Jaehyun’s lips, hearing a faint shuffling sound on his end of the line as he seemed to perk himself up before the familiar name left his lips, “Mark. Lee.”

The name caused your eyes to widen and your heart to race as memories of the man in question flooded your head. You remember the way Mark would help any of the students in class with their homework if needed, always eager to help those around him with a kind smile and charming demeanor. Jaehyun and Taeyong would constantly tease you from how you doted over the poor kid, in turn causing your cheeks to shine a bright red in the presence of Mark. The only reason they teased you so much is because you would never talk to the kid but claimed he was the hottest person you had ever seen. 

Oh yeah, definitely the hottest. While Mark was always super kind to those around him and acting all innocent in a classroom setting, he was someone different when it came to sports or any rendition of gym class. The way Mark’s face would harden as his eyes focused on the ball of any sport, mostly basketball, the thin layer of sweat coating his forehead from a game well played, his hair flowing whenever he ran, and most definitely the times he would lift his shirt up to dab the sweat off of his forehead had you feeling some type of way. You’d seen his abs many times, but you wanted to see much more...

“Y/N, are you even listening to me?” Jaehyun called out, interrupting your salacious thoughts of Mark and his drop dead good looks. 

“Oh, uh, y-yeah. Yeah I’m listening, Jae,” You responded as you raked a salt laden hand through your hair, silently cursing to yourself as you had to get up and wash the salt out of your locks in fear it might damage your hair. Why is it every time you think of Mark, a person you never even talked to outside of asking him for homework help, has you acting like a total ditz?

“Yeah, sure you were. You were imagining all the ways Mark would fuck you, you screaming out his name ‘Oh Mark, yes Mark!’” Jaehyun cried out, raising the pitch of his voice in order to mock you. And this is the kind of treatment you get from having such a nice friend like Jaehyun. “Oh and by the way, I ordered you a pizza. Should be there real-”

Before Jaehyun could finish his sentence, you heard the loud ringing of your doorbell sound off through your apartment, a look of fear washing over your face as you nearly dropped the phone out of your dampened hand. “Jung Jaehyun! You fucking ordered a pizza knowing Mark is the delivery guy? You are such a shit friend!” You yelled to your phone, hoping that the volume of your voice couldn’t be heard outside the walls of your apartment just in case it was Mark. To be fair, Giovanni’s has quite a few delivery guys so it’s a slim chance that Mark would be the one delivering to you... Right?

A slew of venom laden curses flew from your lips before you bid Jaehyun a rather hate filled goodbye, telling him how much of a dick he was in the process. After a few choice words, you sighed to yourself as you yelled out to the mystery deliver guy on the opposite side of the door, “Coming!” You had to make sure you had the money ready because knowing Jaehyun, he would have you pay for the pizza you didn’t even want in the first place.

Your nerves were getting the best of you as you stood in front of the door, hands shaking as you extended your arm outwards to grab at the doorknob. A small swallow of your pride was all that was needed as you gripped the cold metal in your hand, turning it slightly and pulling the door open to reveal the one person you didn’t want to see given the redness still on your cheeks. 

Mark was standing on your porch carrying a box of pizza that adorned the restaurant logo with a small receipt paper attached to the top, wearing a slimming red shirt and black slacks with his hair slightly askew underneath the hat. Even though he seemed like he was dead tired and exhausted from running around delivering pizzas, he still managed to cause your throat to tighten after all this time.

He must not have gotten a good look at you as he glanced at you, down at the box, and then snapped his head back at you with widened eyes and his mouth slightly agape, “Y/N? Is that you? Oh my god, I haven’t seen you since high school!” 

You were genuinely surprised Mark remembered you given the limited times you interacted with him, only sharing a few words with the guy. But still, you weren’t going to turn down a chance of speaking to your high school crush, especially since he asked you a question and it would be quite rude of you to ignore him.

“Yep it’s me,” You began, taking your hand and rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly as you admired the grey stone of your porch instead of looking into his eyes. “I’ve been doing alright these days, just going to college and living my best life.” Damn it, why do you have to be so awkward?

Fortunately for you, Mark took your awkward comment as humor as he chuckled slightly, his eyes managing to trek over the entire expanse of your body. He allowed his eyes to trace up your bare calves all the way up to your thighs, tilting his head to look closely at the fabric of your shorts, then continuing his way up to admire your slightly exposed midriff thanks to your holding your arms to your stomach. As Mark’s eyes finally got to where he wanted them to be, he licked his lips at the sight of the tops of your breasts peeking from your tank top. Long story short, Mark really liked what he saw.

“I know this is a little straightforward and kind of unprofessional but...” Mark began, slinging the box to his other hip to lean forward, looking you dead in the eye with a look that had exuded nothing but pure, unadulterated sex. “I’d really like to come in and catch up with you, if that’s okay with you.” You simply nodded at him, taking the pizza from him and opening the door wider to allow his frame to slip in, letting go of the breath you were holding in the minute he stepped into your apartment.

Sighing to yourself, you rounded the counter of your kitchen and set the pizza box down quickly realizing you still had to pay Mark for the delivery. “Hey, how much do I owe you?” You asked out loud, not paying attention to where he was and hoping that he could hear you no matter what part of the apartment he was deciding to explore at the moment. But the answer never came as you felt two hands cage you in on either side of your hips, hot breath fanning the nape of your neck, and something long and hard pressing into your ass. So this is what Mark meant by catching up.

“Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you?” Mark asked huskily, one of his hands moving to the back of your head and moving a section of your hair to the side to press his lips firmly against your neck. A slow chuckle escaped his lips when he heard your breath hitch, egging him on to lick a strip of your neck while leaving tender love bites on his way up. Goosebumps formed on your skin immediately as you stood there, wondering what to do as Mark left blossoms of purple of your neck, pulling his lips off of your neck momentarily, “And I know how badly you’ve been wanting me to fuck you. The way you would look at me during gym class, how red your face got whenever Taeyong and Jae would even mention my name...”

As Mark’s voice trailed into thin air, he allowed one of his hands to release the wood of your counter to push his fingers against your clothed clit, rubbing slow circles into you as you moaned wantonly into his ear. “F-Fuck, Mark,” You breathed out hastily, your hand flying up to grab on the back of his head just for the sake of holding on as he pushed harder against the throbbing bud. Mark was determined to wreck you.

Mark continued to rub you closer to your release, making sure to push his raging hard on in between your cheeks to feel his length continuing to grow with every moan you made. He could tell you were getting close to your release from how hard you were digging your nails into his skull while looking at your other hand that turned stark white from the hellish grip you had on the counter. A smirk found its way onto Mark’s face as he leaned forward, his lips barely touching the soft lobes of your ear, “Tell me how bad you want it, I want to hear you beg.”

“M-Mark,” You stammered, pleading with him to not force you to beg. No matter how much you wanted Mark to ram his cock so far into you that he would have you walking sideways for two hours, you weren’t one to beg. But goddamn, the way that boy flicked harshly against your clit had you ready to grovel. “Fuck! Please Mark! I need you to fuck me, please! I-I need it. I need you inside of me, I can’t take it anymore.” Suddenly, the pleasurable feeling of his fingers bringing you to your edge was gone. Before you would whine in protest, you were slung over Mark’s shoulder as he made his way through your apartment, trying to guess at which door led to your bedroom.

When he finally found it, Mark threw you onto your slightly messy bed, immediately stripping off his uniform shirt to reveal his toned torso. He looked the exact same as he did in high school and you weren’t complaining as you licked your lips, looking up at his eyes with blown wide pupils. Mark’s gaze narrowed at you as he bit his lip slightly, taking a slow breath as he began his orders, “Take your clothes off. Now.”

Being the good girl you are, you quickly stripped out of your shorts and tank top, lying completely bare for Mark. As his eyes looked over your body for the nth time tonight, his lips formed a devilish grin at the sight of your arousal coating your slit and the inside of your thighs, a sight that had his cock twitching wildly in within the confines of his pants. 

“Damn babygirl,” Mark’s voice called out as he began to work at the belt of his pants, making sure to keep eye contact with you. “You look good enough to eat... But we’ll save that for later. I need to be deep inside you now or I’m going to explode.” Although you love the idea of Mark’s tongue flicking against your heat at the speed of light while sucking your clit into his mouth, you weren’t going to deny his request of filling you up right now.

When Mark finally got his pants off, your eyes widened at the sheer length he possessed. He wasn’t too thick, actually just the perfect thickness for you, and he had a more than decent length to him. The tipping point was the beads of precum rolling down his shaft and onto his hand as he gave himself a few pumps, chuckling at the look of wonder on your face as he approached you with nothing but lust on the brain.

Mark quickly joined you on the bed, planting you firmly underneath him as he ran a finger up your slit, bringing the finger to his mouth to taste you for the first time. You watched as his eyes rolled back from your arousal coating his tongue, a soft groan emitting from his throat as he looked at you, “You taste so fucking good. Next time, I’m eating you out until you’re shaking.” Next time?

Although Mark wanted to pound into you immediately, he was actually quite caring of your pain threshold as he eased himself into you, not wanting to move his hips until the look of discomfort left your face. It’s no secret that Mark is easily the biggest you’ve ever taken, so of course it’ll take you a minute to get used to him, but you nodded him along anyway. 

As Mark drew his hips back to pull his length out, he watched your face relax from getting used to the delicious burn inside of your walls to accommodate his length. It must’ve fed his ego as he was not nice when it came to ramming back into you, forcing you to choke out a gasp as your arms wrapped around his shoulders to dig your nails into his back. 

Mark was relentless as he rammed his cock deep inside of your clenched walls, throwing his head back from how tight you were for him. He was enamored with the way your walls clenched tightly around his length as well as the squelching sound of your pussy taking his cock, letting Mark know just how turned on he made you. 

“Why didn’t I fuck you sooner?” Mark asked rhetorically as he looked down at your innocent face, completely fucked out from how well Mark was fucking you. Your eyes were hooded, hair a complete mess from the harsh strokes at the cock of Mark Lee, and your cheeks shined a bright red. Almost as red as you would get when Taeyong and Jaehyun would tease you. But joke’s on them because now you’re getting dicked down by the person you’ve been wanting to fuck since sophomore year.

You were convinced that this was going to be just a hit it and quit it situation, but the way Mark was fucking you was something you’ve never experienced before. He was so passionate when it came to you, taking languid strokes to feel you completely, leaning down and giving you passionate kisses on both your lips and neck, and lacing his fingers with you as he pounded into you. It was all becoming too much for you as you felt yourself letting go.

A white heat ripped through your body as you arched off of your mattress, pressing your pert nipples flush against Mark’s torso while screaming his name to the high heavens, breathing heavily as stars began to flood your vision. Mark simply watched in amazement as his name fell from your lips like a mantra, getting lost in both the way you keened for him and the way your walls clenched tightly around his wonderful member. The sight of you being so vulnerable for him and the feeling of sheer euphoria pulsing through his body forced Mark to cum deep inside of you, velvety ropes of cum painting your already slick walls as he moaned your name into your ear, crying out for you.

You two must’ve blacked out for a little bit because you found yourself coming back to your senses to a passed out Mark on your bare chest, his cock still inside of you and beginning to soften. A smile fell on your face as you ran your fingers through his brown locks lovingly, listening to the small snoring sounds he made as he cuddled into your stomach. Wow, he really was beautiful. Such a shame you never acted on your feelings sooner. 

As you were stroking Mark’s hair, he began to wake by raising his head to look up at you with his adorable doe eyes, a small smile finding its way onto his fucked out face. “Hey,” You whispered, returning his smile. 

Mark nodded at you as he looked over at the clock on your end table, silently cursing to himself. He was probably late getting back to work and finishing the rest of his deliveries of the night. Actually, he would be very late since he was supposed to be out on two more deliveries but never showed. But to be fair, he was pretty busy giving you an orgasm of astronomical proportions. 

“Do you have to leave?” You asked quietly, your fingers still entwined with a particularly curly lock at the top of his head. 

It took Mark a while to try and contain his laughter but ended up failing, finally admitting to you, “Actually, I got fired this morning, but Jaehyun called me and said to deliver something special to you.” 

That slick son of a bitch.

[nenestansunsthings]

Incident 239-A, Excerpt Four

wow this one took a while. there's an iris here, though, so i feel like it's okay!

.

The walls of the site were wooden.

Some sort of anomalous effect, Iceberg deduced, scanning the dark material. Not touching it. He would not make that mistake. It was likely caused by SCP-4231's anomalous capabilities, specifically a typical stress response. So Wojciechowski had not managed to sedate it, then. The failure would be noted.

The fact that the bullet shells scattered across the floor were non-lethal was noted as well. That was likely not an anomalous effect. So the attempts to stop this termination were non-lethal as well? He hadn't expected differently of Wojciechowski, really. Gears would not appreciate that his hypothesis had been correct.

Gears. His assistant would prefer that he come back unharmed, wouldn't he? Objectives clicked into place in Iceberg's mind. Personal safety would have to be a concern, then. Not a priority, exactly, but a concern nonetheless.

Protecting 239, on the other hand, was a priority. Subduing 4231 was a priority. So he would take whatever measures were necessary.

The comm in Iceberg's ear buzzed, receiving an incoming signal. He allowed it through. "Status?"

"Iceberg? Oh, thank fuck." Wojciechowski's voice came through in a nearly inaudible crackle. It was strained, Iceberg noted. Injuries, then, were likely. "You have to stop Arlens. He's going for-"

"239. I'm aware." Iceberg's eye twitched slightly. "Status, Wojciechowski."

"Alive. Beat-up. Did you know Lens liked locking people into empty containment cells? Or breaking their ribs?" Wojciechowski coughed. "I sure fucking do. He tracked me down and shoved me into a room with no shadows. Fuck knows where James Talloran is. God, when I find him--"

"We'll address your revenge later. Where is 4231?"

"Jesus." Wojciechowski swore. "Don't call him that!"

"I'll call him what I like, director. Where is it?"

"He is going for the butterfly chamber." The other man laughed. "Not that he's getting in. I made sure of that. He'd have to cause a CK-Class scenario to get in, and... well. He likes his being 4231 about as much as I do."

"Do you really think we can rely on its discomfort with a number? It blew up your doors, Wojciechowski. It deserves to be an SCP right now." Iceberg's expression was almost cold enough to be called a scowl. Almost. "Evacuate your personnel. I will handle your breach myself."

The comm was silent.

"... you're going to kill him?"

"If it's necessary." And it almost certainly was. "Evacuate your men, Francis."

Iceberg could practically hear the silent fury on the other end.

Finally, finally, Wojciechowski answered.

"No."

"Then neutralize it yourself," Iceberg ordered. "I don't have time for your sexual tension. Get it under control and make sure it doesn't cause a goddamn breach. I will handle 239 myself."

"... Fine." Wojciechowski growled on the other end. "Don't get in my way. You're a very replaceable man, Doctor Gilles. That assistant of yours deserves a promotion anyway."

"I'd be happy to sign one for him," he responded. "Get your pet project under control."

There was the sound of a comm being crushed under rubber soles.

Iceberg sighed, turning his own comm off. The dramatics. Honestly. If he didn't want his pet SCP terminated he shouldn't have let it try to kill a little girl.

Especially not that little girl.

Iceberg stepped through the halls with a purpose, a hand on the grenades hanging from his belt.

"Damn it!" Butterfly slammed a fist against the closed door to 408's containment cell, anger burning bright inside him. He could feel the flickering life of his butterflies inside, the familiar feel of it only fuelling his fury. "G-d damn it, Clef. You and your g-ddamned lockdowns."

The 408s couldn't get out. Not with those protections. Butterfly had a feeling what was in place had been set up a long time ago, and it hadn't been meant to keep them in.

No. It had been to keep him out.

Damn Clef. Damn his director, planning and planning and lying his way through questions, through explaining what protections were on what. Damn the fact that terrifying competence had been turned to...

To what? To the whims of a little girl high on her own power, not even knowing what she had turned him into?

Fuck her. Fuck 239. Fuck this whole mess. When he found that girl, he was going to rip her to shreds.

Butterfly's hand slipped down the reinforced metal of the door, going down, down with his hope.

Hopeless. This was hopeless. He'd never get to her. Was he already too late? The alarm had probably alerted other sites, too, so he almost definitely had Iceberg on his trail. And even if not Iceberg, even if it was someone he could subdue without issue and get past to kill 239-- could he even do it? Could her powers overtake his? Could she look at him, twist him, turn him into something beyond his worst nightmares because he made her think of a monster?

Could he even do this?

... Not without help. Not without allies. And without the 408s... did he even have any?

The room was silent around him. Cursing him. Mocking him. He didn't. He didn't have anyone. The SCPs would have been evacuated and fucking Francis was against him and- and--

"... You look like you need a little help."

Butterfly jerked, spinning swiftly to find a young woman standing in front of him. She didn't so much as blink when he leveled his sword to her throat.

"... Iris Thompson."

"In the flesh," she responded, deadpan. "Lower the sword, Benjamin Kondraki. We need to talk."

"Don't call me that!" Benjamin Kondraki was a dead man. He'd died with his wife and he'd died with the thought that his son was a monster to be contained. "Don't you ever say that name again."

"Sorry." Thompson smiled. At least, it looked like a smile. His depth perception was shot to hell, of course, and his third eye stung with heat, but he swore even past that it looked more like a snarl than a grin. "This isn't the right world to be calling you that. But, well, with that name or not... I'm offering you an out."

"An out?" As if he'd trust her. 239 had never seen her, yes, but Thompson was personnel. Dating Francis's own daughter. Why she'd side with him over her site and her girlfriend he hadn't the slightest idea. "Spare me the bullshit, Thompson. What do you want?"

"It's obvious, Doctor Butterfly," she said, enough surety in her voice that he strained to hear anything inhuman past that. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing but the dregs of a dead god inside her. "I want you to win."

That made him pause. "What?"

"There are tunnels the director doesn't know about. Meant for Factotum use. O5 use," she explained. Something in her voice tired as she did. "How did you think I stayed hidden while they evacuated? The Council thinks it hides its things well, really. But it's easy to find them when you have all the time in the world. And we both know how much time I had."

"... Damn. 3999 really did a number on you, didn't it?" He remembered back when she had first come to the site, when she was still nervous and kind of snappy and excited. Now... well. "Where are they?"

"Right here." Thompson reached out, taking him by the wrist and tugging him past a corner to find a large door where there once had been wall. It hung open to reveal a tunnel, leading down, down, down. "And turn off the voice, Butterfly. No-one here's scared of you. Except maybe you."

"... Asshole." His voice, past the anomaly echoing it, was weak. Raspy. "How the hell did you find this?"

"I killed O5-6 in it a month ago. How else?" She pulled him in. "Do your best, Doctor Butterfly. Leave me a corpse to burn."

And didn't that send chills down his spine.

"Wait," Butterfly called, stopping Thompson as she walked away. "Why are you doing this?"

It took her a few moments to answer. The tunnels loomed empty around him.

"I like watching reality benders die," she answered simply. The door closed before him.

... Ominous. But helpful. Butterfly shook his head, descending into the dark of the tunnels. Hopefully she only wanted 239 dead. Hopefully it didn't extend to him.

But if it did...

Butterfly shook his head, looking through the tunnels. They seemed to match the halls of Site 17 enough, didn't they?

He wasn't exactly a stupid man. He knew his enemies-- friends?-- were dangerous. He knew it'd be risky to fight them without help.

And, well... 408 wasn't the only group of butterflies on-site.

Butterfly turned left, headed for the enclosure storing SCP-3209.

Iris Thompson travelled the halls with barely a sound. She knew well how to avoid making a sound on these floors, covered in wood or not. In her pocket, a six-sided die sat wrapped in her handkerchief, familiar and unturning.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she heard Francis Wojciechowski demand in front of her. Iris did not look up. Instead, she shrugged, her fingers playing idly on that die.

"I'm with Butterfly on this one," she said softly, pulling the die out of its cloth. "That girl did something, that's for sure. The only thing to do now is stop it."

Francis scowled. He was hurt, Iris noted, with badly burned hands and broken gear, and he walked with a limp that screamed of a broken leg. "Iris. She's only a kid."

"And you're only a man." Iris met his eyes. "I could kill you without flinching."

"You wouldn't."

She shrugged. "Get out of the way and I won't."

Stubbornly, Francis stayed. Iris sighed. "Fine. Make your choice."

The die landed on three. And the hallway flooded with water.

[avengers-nextgen]

32, 9 and 15 for Natasha and Sage

“Can someone please explain to me, in small words, why I’m being assigned to this mission?”/ “Wait, something doesn’t feel right”/ “Don’t tell me you’re fine! I can see the blood.”

— — —

Sage wasn’t sure why she needed to be in Fury’s office. In fact, she wasn’t sure why he wanted her there at all. Sure, she was a better person now, but she had stabbed him. Still, she found herself sulking down the hallways until she arrived. But only then did her confusion worsen because the only other person aside from Fury within the room was Natasha.

“You asked for me?” Sage frowned, trying not to sound bored.

“Yes,” Fury nodded, “you and Rogers have a mission.”

Of all the things the bald man could have said...he said that. Blinking slowly, Sage tried to sort out her confusion. “I’m sorry what?”

“You and Natasha will be taking care of a mission,” Fury repeated, slower than before.

“I got it,” Sage snapped, “but can someone please explain to me, in small words, why I’m being assigned to this mission? I mean, I don’t normally go on adventures without people my own age.”

“Did you call me old?” Natasha asked, arching a brow.

“No!” Sage huffed, “I’m just confused. That’s all.”

“I’m pairing the both of you together because Natasha has experience, and you have an arsenal of powers that may be useful in making sure neither of you die. Besides, it’s about time you and the rest of the kids start handling more dangerous scenarios.” Fury explained, shuffling papers on his desk.

“We handled Prometh-you know who-and that was dangerous.” Sage reminded.

“Yes, but I’m referring to threats other than a god like man working on some weird political and ideological agenda. I’m talking about stealth missions,” Fury sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “From what I’ve heard, you’re not very...stealthy.”

“I think she understands,” Natasha interjected, quick to cut the conversation short lest the two erupt into a full blown argument. “Just brief us.”

— — —

“Oh this thing is stifling,” Sage groaned, extremely in happy about the wet suit she was wearing. Apparently, though she wasn’t sure why, the base they needed to breach was under water in an unmarked cave system.

“You get used to it,” Natasha smiles thinly.

“Yes, but your normal suit is this tight,” Sage remarked.

“That’s because as a spy you lean that baggy clothes are a hindrance. They have a way of setting off alarms,” Natasha smirked. “A friend of mine wore cargo pants. Set off booby traps and got impaled by a metal rod.”

“Where in gods name were you?” Sage stammered.

“Russia,” Natasha shrugged. The older woman simply checked over the small oxygen tank and mask. Then, without asking, she began checking over Sage’s gear. “Always double check equipment. SHIELD is good about maintenance but you never know. The last thing you want is a mask to break when you’re dozens of feet under water.”

“Right,” Sage nodded, albeit awkwardly. Despite herself, she still wasn’t entirely comfortable around Alex’s parents.

“Drop zone is below, lowering ramp,” Maria’s voice came over their ear pieces. The sudden noise startled Sage. She’d forgotten all about the device.

With a groan that shook the empty cargo hold, the ramp slowly lowered revealing calm waters below. Natasha was the first to move. She edged carefully to the lip of the ramp before leaping off and splashing into the water down below. With a grudging sigh, Sage followed.

The water was cold, or at least colder than she’d expected. She watched as Natasha pulled on the mask and took a few test breaths. Mimicking the procedure, Sage gave a thumbs up indicating she was set to descend below the surface. With a confirmatory nod, Natasha dipped below the surface of the water.

Following closely behind, Sage found it difficult to keep pace with the agent. She was never particularly good at swimming but she’d always been able to manage. However, something about Natasha allowed her to streamline quickly through the water.

— — —

It wasn’t long until they reached the cave system. It’s mouth was dark and gaping like a waiting predator, but with little hesitation Natasha pulled a large light from her belt to illuminate the darkness.

Weaving through the submerged terrain, Sage worried they’d get lost, but nearly an hour later the rocky world around them shifted to strange slick metal. They’d found the foundations to a structure looming above.

Natasha’s beam of light glanced off the metal surfaces exposing a grill in the ceiling. Was it a ceiling? Sage wasn’t sure what to call it. Pausing beneath the hunk of metal, the spy studied it with care before motioning Sage over. Though it was hard to understand, Sage finally understood Natasha’s pantomiming. She wanted her to melt the welding lines. With a tentative nod, Sage produced a green flame. It flickered out for a moment before growing brighter with Sage’s concentration. Frankly, she’d never made fire underwater before.

Following the welding marks, the water began to bubble as metal soon released its hold. With a grunt, Natasha tore the grill from its resting place. Clambering up through the opening she turned to help her young companion out of the water. Removing the mask and slipping it into her belt, Natasha surveyed the area. “We’re on a low level. Probably the lowest one if it’s connected to the sea.”

“So we move up?” Sage asked, shaking the water from her hair.

“Mm,” Natasha nodded, carefully padding down a dark expanse of tunnel managing to make little sound. Sage found the ability to walk silently much more difficult. The combination of the wetsuit, the equipment, and being cold had thrown off her natural stride. “We need the third floor. Can you detect a way to get there?”

“I can try,” Sage nodded. Closing her eyes, she searched the environment for any source of chaotic energy. Nothing came to light. Resorting to a new method, she attempted to do a trace spell-something her father had taught her quite recently-which allowed her to retrace any recent event that’s taken place within an hour’s time frame.

Fortunately, someone had been down on their very floor within the hour. The uniformed individual, made two right hand turns leading to a flight of stairs. It wasn’t much but it would do. Relaying the information, Sage kept close to Natasha as she took the lead.

Moving slowly up the winding metal steps, they neared a large heavy door. With a small wave of the hand from Sage, the lock melted and Natasha eased the door open. The room was dark aside from large running databases. “I don’t know what any of this is. You should’ve brought Fox.”

“Please. Both of you on this mission would make us all dead,” Natasha snorted, eyeing up the technology. “Besides, I know my way around.”

Holding her hands up in surrender, Sage let the spy take charge. She was certain Natasha knew more about this stuff than she ever would. Thankfully, Sage was right, and Natasha was able to locate a wide cube of metal with flashing lights, connecting cables, and a small screen flashing codes.

“Is this what we need?” Sage asked.

“No, what we need are the codes. We need to get a copy of them. That way e can analyze the order and frequency of them. Figure out what exactly this machine operates,” Natasha explained, skimming her fingers over different nooks and crannies. She paused, flipped open a latch, and removed the outer frame. If Sage wasn’t confused before, she certainly was now, because the insides of the device contained even more lights, wires, and green plastic cards.

Feeling about, Natasha located a thin plastic card. “This should keep the machine running long enough for us to get out of here before they notice something’s wrong.”

“What’d you take?”

“This little card programs for a coolant system. It’ll keep things from over heating. It runs on a cycle. What we really need is this-“ Natasha rather violently stripped another piece of plastic from the machine. “A back up coding system. It won’t stop the machine from running it’s just a safety mechanism Incase the original codes are compromised.”

“Great, let’s go,” Sage nodded. Heading back the way they’d come.

“Wait,” Natasha cautioned, catching Sage by the arm. “Something doesn’t feel right. This place is too empty.”

“We have to get out of here one way or another,” Sage sighed, “but I can try teleporting both of us back-“

“No, your strength is important,” Natasha shook her head. She remembered how haggard Sage looked the time she’d saved Alex from drowning. How exhausting it was to make sure they both ended up where they needed to be.

“Then we’ll be careful,” Sage decided, and although she wasn’t excited about it Natasha lead the way back to the lowest level. Only as they rounded the corner a series of gunfire sounded off. Acting on instinct, Natasha grabbed Sage by the collar and flattened her back against the wall.

“Don’t move,” Natasha warned, listening closely for the gunfire to die down. “Damn I knew they’d be here.”

“Well, we’ll have to move eventually. Otherwise we’re sitting ducks,” Sage hissed, flinching at the sound of a bullet piercing the wall by her head.

“Then I’ll give you cover fire. But don’t do anything you don’t have to. Our main job is to get out of here. That’s it,” Natasha warned, peeking around the edge of the wall. A stray shot rang out as she ducked away. “We only have one exit.”

Steeling her nerves, Sage gave a nod and darted around the corner. In an instant two silver blades settled snuggly in her palms, but they left as quickly as they’d appeared finding their marks in the chests of enemies. Behind her, Natasha’s gun sounded off suppressing the enemy.

Eyes glowing, Sage managed to set the uniforms of the attackers aflame though it wouldn’t hurt them too badly, as she hadn’t set the entire outfit on fire. It was just enough to cause panic and distress. Still, a few of the enemy were brave enough to hold fire.

“Let’s go,” Natasha breathed, running up beside Sage and shoving her towards the hole they’d climbed through. Slipping inside, Sage struggled to pull her mask on before reaching up and tugging Natasha down into the water. The two swam like mad before finally shooting out of the cave system. And though the light was dim, Sage was grateful for the sun. But she noticed a thin trail of copper in the water. Eyes narrowing, she noticed the source of blood. It was a wound in Natasha’s side.

— — —

“Are you okay?” Sage asked, chucking her mask aside as soon as they’d re-boarded the plane.

“I’m fine,” Natasha insisted.

“Don’t tell me you’re fine! I can see the blood,” Sage frowned.

“I’ve been shot more times than how old you are,” Natasha chuckled, “I’ll be fine. Now sit down and enjoy the ride back.”

Though Sage wanted to protest, she listened. If anyone knew whether a gunshot wound was serious or not-it was Natasha. “You’re crazy.”

“Eh,” Natasha shrugged, flashing the young girl a smile. “Everyone has to be. At least a little. Where else would the fun come from?”

Though she tried to fight the smile, Sage couldn’t help herself. Maybe Natasha wasn’t too bad after all. Or at least, not as intimidating as she’d thought.

[soartfullydone]

Well, well. If it isn't the little mouse come to rummage around once more in my things. Oh, no please. Don't get up. I'd love to see what is of such interest to you on my desk. Last I checked, it was a mountain of requisitions from Urban Development. Do close your mouth, pet. You could give give some men the wrong idea. Hm? Why so surprised? Did you really think I would be unaware of the comings and goings in my own office?

ahaaaaa bite me cassie

*

Rufus Shinra’s office wasn’t as obnoxious as his father’s, but an air of pretentiousness lingered all the same. Melody felt that way about most executive offices. It seemed like anyone in Shinra who breached past the managerial level acquired a new suite big enough to fit their ego inside, the size of the space in direct correlation with the amount of money most of them didn’t deserve to make.

Namely because they weren’t in said office working often enough. With higher-ups, it was always arriving late and two-hour lunches and leaving early. Melody didn’t know what was stronger: her lack of surprise or her disappointment that Rufus appeared to be cut from the same cloth.

As Mayor Domino promised, Shinra’s heir apparent was absent, and this, too, gave her conflicting feelings. Relief. Frustration. However, her disgust was aimed entirely at herself.

Just get this over with.

Walking on the balls of her feet to minimize the clacking sound of her heels, Melody darted across the room, feeling immediately off-kilter.

She couldn’t remember ever seeing so much white. The tiled floors, the seamless stretch of wall, even the great expanse of his steel desk—the room was an uninterrupted blanket of white. The company’s usual selection of marble had been completely rejected for this room, for even the whitest marble displayed veins of black and gray. There were no deliberately placed accents, no splashes of color save for the odd item on Rufus’ desk. A black fountainpen. A silver paperweight shaped almost as perfectly as materia. A discarded, canary yellow paperclip. Then, there were the stacks of papers—Melody recognized the cover page on one stack instantly—the three computer monitors, the leather chair pushed into the desk, all of them white.

It was this chair Melody slid into, attempting to ignore how unnerved it all made her. There was nothing personal. No paintings on the wall, no shrubs in the corner, no pictures of family or friends. There was an entire wall that was a window, which displayed Sector 8 through Sector 2 in dazzling silver as sunlight beat down on steel and stone. Thank God. This was a room one could go insane in without such a view. She had never seen a space that was so clearly used be so cold and clinical at the same time; hospitals had more life.

It’s possible our dear Prince Shinra will be a little more careless on his own turf. Most employees are that arrogant, Mayor Domino had said wryly.

What am I looking for? she’d asked.

Anything.

Melody didn’t have much time. She’d originally guessed she’d linger no more than five minutes, but Domino’s warnings—not to mention her past experiences with Rufus—had scared her down to three. She tried the desk drawers first, only to find them all locked. The one that wasn’t held nothing but a keyboard, and a quick inspection failed to uncover any poorly-hidden notes containing computer passwords or other intriguing information. The computer was locked, too, and a quick keystroke put it back into sleep mode. Her hands flew across the papers on the desk, thumbing through them rapidly.

New recruit considerations for the Department of Public Safety, most of them unfavorable. Performance analytics for weapons prototypes from Scarlet’s department. Melody’s eyes snagged on the schematics and armaments list for a mechanical monstrosity labeled “Project Airbuster” before she was forced to continue on. She reached to move aside the one handful of papers containing information she already knew when, inexplicably, the hair on the back of her neck stood up.

“Well, well,” Rufus Shinra said, his lips ghosting the shell of her ear as a strand of his blond hair brushed her cheek. “If it isn't the little mouse come to rummage around once more in my things.”

Melody twisted around—or tried to. The Vice President had other ideas, his hands gripping both sides of the chair and holding it steady, his body an uncompromising wall. She was locked in and going nowhere.

“Oh, no, please. Don’t get up.” Rufus smirked, his tone polite and mocking at the same time. He knew he had her caught. As if to boast this knowledge, he shifted just enough so he could lean over her left shoulder and cage her in further as he pretended to examine the spread of documents. “I’d love to see what is of such interest to you on my desk. Last I checked, it was a mountain of requisitions from Urban Development.”

With a smooth sweep of his hand, he gathered that very mountain she’d messily dropped in her shock at hearing him—feeling him—just behind her. He straightened the papers and feathered through them, the pages skipping across his thumb. “A scintillating read, I’m sure, but...” His sidelong gaze caught hers before it dipped, skimming down her neck, tracing her clavicle, caressing the swell of her breasts. Finishing his lazy inspection, his crystal blue eyes found hers again, searing this time. “Rather than suffer more of Tuesti’s thinly-veiled pleas for financial backing, I’d rather find you waiting for me here, on my desk—but not today.”

Melody had an iron-clad defense ready, but her lips parted in surprise, a blush spreading across her face at how casually Rufus could talk about fucking her. At how intimately she remembered what his cruel mouth could do to her flesh, how quickly his skillful fingers could make her come. She hated how easily he could fluster her by merely mentioning it. She hated how he could dangle the possibility in front of her only to yank it back without any true regret at all.

And most of all, she hated how badly she wanted it—wanted him—anyway.

Rufus regarded her with half-lidded eyes before leaning closer, setting off a new wave of panic and eagerness within her. Was he actually, finally going to kiss her? Was she finally going to discover what he tasted like? He tilted up her chin, and Melody’s knuckles turned white from squeezing the chair’s armrests. His lips were a breath away from hers when he chided, “Do close your mouth, pet. You could give some men the wrong idea.”

He released her with a flick of his fingers and straightened, his focus returning to the desk with a more worrisome air of assessment. At least, Melody should have been worried, should have been busy double-checking that she had put every document back in the exact spot she had first found it. Instead, she was leaning back in the chair, dazed and barely holding onto herself inside her own skin. Little mouse. Pet. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to know how creative he could get with names for her. Gratefulness that she had avoided reaching some point of no return with him again warred with the urge to see how far she could push him until he took what he wanted.

Instead, she steered her resolve toward the plan and managed, “I didn’t mean to bother you, sir. I— I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Hm? Why so surprised?” replied Rufus coolly. He was frowning suddenly at the assessment report from Weapons Development. “Did you really think I would be unaware of the comings and goings in my own office?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what,” he said, his voice and eyes frozen as he turned to advance on her, “are you doing here?”

Melody stood so quickly that she pushed the chair free and clear from her. She meant for her hands to raise in a placating gesture, but they became the barrier against Rufus’ chest to halt him from coming closer. (Not that they could truly stop him. Not that some part of her wanted to cling to the lapels of his jacket and pull him flush against her, imploring him to take, take, take.)

“The proposal!” she exclaimed, her thoughts scattered. “In your hand.”

A crease appeared between his blond brows, doubtful and contemplative at once. “What about it, Miss Westfire?”

Her stomach flipped with a thrill at his put-on formality. She loved how he humored her, but God, how she hated him for how he played with her. “A team member of mine thinks she included a page from another report in there by accident. She was freaking out, so I offered to get it back.” She looked down at the Urban Development proposal, concern flitting across her face. “Assuming you haven’t already trashed it.”

“I haven’t looked over it at all.”

Melody ignored that dig. She crossed her arms, feigning calm as Rufus flipped through the pages much slower and more thoroughly this time.

“Is this what you’re after?” Rufus pulled a page free, and a glance at its surface showed a half-formed spreadsheet, its cells missing numbers, with notes penned in flowing cursive across the bottom of the paper. It also lacked the distinctive formatting that the proposal was required to have and clearly displayed on its other pages.

Melody sighed, relieved. Even though she’d planted the page herself, a part of her had believed wildly that it had somehow vanished. “Yes. Thank you. She’ll be so glad.”

She went to take the page, but Rufus wouldn’t relinquish it. He asked, “Which team member lost this again?”

Her smile thinned. “I didn’t say.”

“Then say, Miss Westfire.”

“I would prefer—”

“I don’t care what you would prefer. Imagine if this held trade secrets, SOLDIER patrol routes, blueprints of our reactors. Now imagine if this information fell into the hands of Avalanche.” Rufus pulled, and the page ripped in an uneven half between their hands. Crumpling his half, Rufus tossed it on the desk, the completed proposal landing with a thump beside it. “Our company—my company—can’t afford this kind of carelessness. Tell me who it was.”

“So you can do what?” She let her half flutter to the floor, her heart pounding in her chest.

“I would think that was obvious,” Rufus said, dragging his chair back. He sat facing her, elbows braced on the armrests and his fingers laced together. “I’m going to fire her.”

Blood rushed in her ears. No, no, no. No. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

Seeing her indecision, Rufus smiled and leaned forward. “Tell me, Melody. Tell me now, or the one I’ll be making an example of will be you.”

Her fists clenched at her sides. If she bit down any harder, she thought she might shatter her teeth. Rufus’ eyes glittered before he shrugged, unconcerned. “Pity. In that case—”

“Rainy,” Melody bit out. “It was Celeste Rainy.”

Rufus’ smile sharpened. “Good girl.”  

“Want me to send her up, too, while I’m at it?” she snapped, enraged at him. Enraged at herself.

“Oh, no. I don’t mind handling all the unpleasantness for you. You’ve done enough.”

Yes. Yes, Melody had, and she had nothing to show for it except getting a faithful, hard-working employee fired over her lies and schemes. Sick to her stomach, she went to leave, uncaring that the Vice President hadn’t dismissed her yet.

He caught her with an arm around her middle; he didn’t even have to rise from the chair to do so, but he did anyway. “Now, I can’t let you go with you looking this upset. What about your reward?”

“I have a lot of work to do.” She refused to meet his eyes. If she did, he would know exactly how much she despised him. More than likely, it would make him happy, and the last thing on Gaia she wanted was Rufus Shinra’s happiness.

“Work, she says.” The tips of his fingers traced the line of her neck. “Everything you do… In the end, it’s all for me.”

She went to protest, incensed, but his hand tightened around her and drew her into him. She felt his leather, fingerless glove press into the nape of her neck, his thumb caressing her racing pulse. Racing because his mouth was lavishing cruel ministrations to the column of her throat, his kiss hot, his mouth sucking hard enough to leave marks on her skin. She gasped as he rose higher and higher, his teeth scraping the underside of her jaw. Each kiss was a new way to claim her, and she was helpless against any of them.

At some point, her knees had buckled. Rufus’ arm was around her waist, pinning her against his chest. One of his legs was in between both of hers, and she moaned, the heat of his thigh driving her temporarily insane. Melody rolled her hips, wanting that delicious friction. Rufus bit her earlobe sharply.

“I said, not today.”

He let her go, removing himself enough that she was forced to get her legs under her. They felt shaky, but she managed. Her hand rose to inspect her neck, which felt utterly ravaged, and it was enough to bring a hint of sanity back. “You call this a reward?”

“You’re never satisfied,” Rufus noted, smiling as if he was satisfied. “That must be why we get along so well.”

He strode to the door of his office, expecting her to follow, which she naturally did. It was her only escape route. She frowned when he opened it for her like a gentleman. “That wasn’t your reward. I’m still debating what it is you deserve.”

Those words caused butterflies to flutter and a chilling dread to settle in her stomach all at once. When she was level with him, she asked archly, “What was it then, besides unwanted?”

Rufus traced her lips with his thumb, felt her shudder before she could stop it. “Don’t lie now.”

He leaned down, so they were looking nearly eye to eye, icy assurance versus burning resolve. “It was a warning, my dear. You’re good at this game, better than most, but you’ll never be able to play it like I can.” His smirk was sharp and prideful. “Next time you want to play spy with me, take greater care with your pawns.”

[nix-needs-coffee]

Unwritten

A journal on the floor is an open invitation.

Thanks Krispy and Hannah for the direction on this one. Sorry it took so long.

AO3 Link

“Catherine, is that your book on the floor?” Anna asked as she entered the living room from the kitchen carrying an oversized bowl of cereal. With her spoon, she was pointing at the book lying near the door to the hallway on the opposite side.

“No. It isn’t mine. I’ll get it before someone trips on it, or worse, Jane sees it in the middle of her floor,” Catherine feigned outrage as she rose from the couch, her faux-indignation turning mildly into genuine irritation when Anna dropped down in the spot she had only just been occupying, crunching loudly on her Cheerios.

She bent to scoop up the book, but stopped abruptly upon seen the cover of the book.

“Nope. Nuh-uh,” she yelped, backing away from the book as though it might snap at her, shaking the hand that had reached for it as if it actually had.

“What? What’s happened?”

“I know whose book that is.”

Anna’s concern over Catherine’s initial panic melted away even as Catherine continued to shake her hand. “Okay. I don’t really care who it belongs to,” entirely nonplussed about the situation, she spoke around a mouthful.

“Don’t you recognize it?” Catherine hissed, still very agitated and wiping her hand on her shirt.

“Erh, no actually. Should I?”

“Yes. Of course you should! It’s Anne’s!”

Anna raised her eyebrows and shrugged a shoulder, perplexed at Catherine’s bizarre behaviour, but not interested enough for her to explain or elaborate.

“She uses it. You know? To write things in.”

“Oh. Like a diary?”

“Anne Boleyn would never keep a diary. It’s a journal.”

Anna took a breath to argue the semantics of diaries and journals, but thought better of it and closed her mouth around another spoon of cereal. She chewed slowly hoping the conversation would taper off into a comfortable silence.

It did not.

“We aren’t supposed to know it exists,” Catherine whispered with a conspiratorial glint shining in her eyes.

“You going to read it or something?” Anna inquired, thoroughly enjoying the series of emotions displaying in rapid succession across the other woman’s face. They seemed to range the gamut from utter joy, confusion, anger, and disappointment.

“What do you think she writes about? Do you think we’re in it?” Catherine’s expression settles for a bit on curiosity.

“Probably,” Anna surmised, setting her now empty bowl on the coffee table in front of her. She leaned herself back, kicked up her feet, and closed her eyes.

“But what do you think she’s said?” Catherine was still staring at the book, as though it might catch fire at any given moment.

“It’s right there. If you want to know that badly, just pick it up and read it,” Anna waved a dismissive hand in the direction of the journal, and cracked one eye open just enough to see Catherine’s form through her eyelashes. She watched as Catherine’s hand seemed to reach out on its own accord before it was snatched away and held tightly to her chest again.

“Do you think she keeps track of all of her inane ideas in there? Maybe it would be good for us to expect what she’s going to do next?” Her tone was hopeful, as though she were waiting for permission from Anna, and what better reason to sanction such a breach of trust than to be prepared for whatever antics Anne might be getting up to.

Anna shrugged noncommittally. She was already getting bored.

“Do you think she’s met someone? It might be filled with her fantasies about getting with them! Maybe we should read it so we can help her get what she wants?”

“You, better than anybody, know that Anne does not need any help getting what she wants, Catherine.”

“What if she’s written poetry? Really awful poetry with lines like, ‘You’re the only sunshine in my life.’”

Anna lifted her head and looked at Catherine with a somber expression. “‘But sunshine burns.’”

The terrible line had not been something Catherine had been expecting and it caused her to double over in laughter. “Yeah, something like that or, ‘She felt paper thin, as if their breath was enough to blow her away to the clouds.’”

Catherine’s joy was contagious and Anna found herself unable to contain her laughter alongside her.

“Wait! Here’s another, ‘She slept on a mountain of pillows, bones beneath their silk,’” Catherine shrieked tears racing down her flushed cheeks, barely able to form words around her gasps for air.

“Why are her bones beneath the silk if she’s sleeping on a mountain of pillows?” Anna guffawed.

“It’s poetry, Anna. It’s not supposed to be literal!”

Anna restrained herself for a moment, and with composure and calmness that surprised even her said, “‘He was acrylics and she was crayons.’”

“Oh no, that is exactly something that Anne would write,” Catherine wheezed, flopping down roughly next to Anna on the couch.

So caught up in the euphoria of imagined poetic ramblings, they almost missed the sound of the front door being slammed open. Sobering the mood entirely, they both flung themselves into the most casual positions they could physically shape into.

Stomping boots ran through the hallway, past the living room entry, and took the stairs two at a time. A bedroom door was pulled open so violently, they weren’t sure how it still remained on its hinges. The sounds of items hitting the floor as they were strewn about were nearly masked by the incessant stream of cuss words emanating from the room.

Catherine silently gestured toward the book on the floor and pointed at Anna.

Anna wildly shook her head and pointed at Catherine.

Catherine held her hands up pleading first Anna and then God to make a miracle happen and somehow move that journal somewhere that wouldn’t incriminate either of them.

Before a solid plan could be made and enacted, the boots were once again on the stairs, pounding out their descent so loudly that Catherine was sure plaster was going to start falling from the walls.

The fun was officially over, and Catherine lamented the lost opportunity to read some of Anne’s terrible poetry for herself.

***

“How did this get there?” Anne bellowed as she entered the room spotting the journal immediately in the middle of the floor.

“How did what get where?” Catherine looked at her innocently.

“My journal. How did it get on the floor?”

“You must have dropped it or something. I hadn’t seen it,” Anna said almost too kindly.

Anne regarded them with suspicion, clutching the book to her chest and breathing heavily. She narrowed her eyes and tried to read through the masquerade the others were putting on.

Deciding that the worst could already have happened, Anne backed out of the room without taking her line of questioning any further. She climbed the stairs again, stepping over the entire contents of her wardrobe on the floor, and found the notes she needed inside the journal.

After ensuring the door was closed and locked, she turned her radio on so she could make a call in secret.

“Hi, yes hello, I have a booking for you to cater a party and I was just calling to confirm the final number.”

Anne could still feel her heart hammering in her chest at the thought that she had almost lost all of her plans for the celebration she was planning for Catherine.

[porkchop-ao3]

Red-Handed

I drew Ice Cream Rick in a lace jockstrap a while ago, and it got me thinking about some other little quirks he might have besides his sploshing kink. This fic is the result of that thinking. Its I.C/Reader, NSFW and contains cross-dressing (underwear specifically), sex toys, and kind of pegging?? You’ll see. 

This pairing is fun to play around with in smutty fics, their relationship is so strong and they have so much trust and understanding in each other, I doubt there’s much off the table when it comes to their sex lives haha. 

Enjoy!

-

Rick was a man of distinct tastes. I knew that even before we lived under the same roof, but once we did his quirks became more and more inclined to reveal themselves. I'd welcome his honesty in telling me but unfortunately every new thing I found out about his tastes seemed to happen by accident. Perhaps there are always some things that no matter how comfortable you are with a person, you endeavour to keep to yourself. Though, so far, having the truth about certain things coming out had only improved our relationship.

It'd been puzzling to realise that I'd been going through far more pairs of underwear since moving in with I.C than normal. They just seemed to appear in the washing basket without me even realising I'd worn them, and I'd go to my knicker drawer to find stocks low far too regularly. I wasn't doing anything differently, I wondered if I was going mad. Until one day I actually counted them since the last time I had done the washing, and found nine pairs of underwear when there should've been only six. Curiosity got the better of me and I counted I.C's boxers. There were just three pairs.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. It added up to Rick wearing my underwear. Huh? It wasn't as if they looked similar to his, surely he wasn't confusing them with his own. He was a lot older than me, but he wasn't going senile just yet. Was he running out of his own and reaching for mine in desperation? No, his underwear drawer was practically full.

Oh.

Now that's certainly unexpected. If he's not doing it by accident, he's clearly doing it on purpose, isn't he? He's going out and wearing my underwear on a regular basis, expecting me not to notice. A small smirk appeared on my face where I was kneeling on the floor sorting through our dirty clothing.

I kept quiet about it, unsure of how to bring it up without embarrassing him. Part of me hoped he'd tell me himself, let me know exactly why he was doing it. Of course my mind jumped to conclusions, thinking he got some sort of thrill out of it, but I couldn't be certain that was the case… bringing it up and asking him if he was turned on by wearing women's underwear seemed like a daunting task at best. So I waited, stewing over it but all the while coming to terms with it. The thought becoming all the more appealing to me in an odd kind of way. It wouldn't have been the first time that Rick had opened my eyes to an interesting kink.

So a few weeks passed, my underwear was still being stolen, Rick still wasn't opening up about it. I had almost reached the end of my patience and was planning to ask him about it, when it happened. Tailor had been extremely busy that week and I'd been spending more hours at his studio than I had in my own home. I.C knew this and was as understanding as anyone could hope for, so I figured when I finished earlier than usual on a Friday evening it'd be a nice surprise for him.

That could've ended badly for a variety of reasons; I could've walked in on him making a huge mess, laying around in his underwear like a slob, heck, having an affair! But none of that happened, of course. Instead, I came home to find him upstairs in our bedroom, alone, dressed in nothing but one of my white lace g-strings face-down-ass-up on the bed. At first when I walked in I didn't know what on earth to do! I simply gasped and stumbled backwards, hand missing the door handle as I went to slam it shut, his image still very much there in front of me despite my attempts at giving him his privacy. He'd yelled in surprise, bolting upright on the bed. My eyes immediately were drawn to his groin, where his cock was hard and pressed upwards towards his belly by the fine triangle of lace just about containing his balls.

As soon as I saw him like that, my whole body flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and arousal, it was a strange but enjoyable mix. I didn't know whether to walk away or join him, I was caught between the two options, just standing still in the doorway. Rick shifted uncomfortably on his spot, kneeling on the bed, and tugged at the front of the thong in a vain attempt at covering his erection.

“All I can say is, I'm sorry,” his words were the only thing that managed to pull my attention from his cock, and I looked up at his face. “Just give me a minute and I'll- I'll change and we can talk about this.”

“You don't have to change,” I blurted out, unthinking. I guess my mouth made the final decision about whether I was liking what I saw.

“Well I gotta do something,” he laughed sheepishly, uncomfortably.

“Just sit down, let… let me just figure out what I have to say,” I murmured, walking into the room and dragging my hair out of my face.

Rick remained still, continuing to kneel. I paused and looked at him, puzzled by his hesitation to move. After a few moments of strange eye contact, he let out a breath and dropped his eyes shamefully to the bed, reaching behind himself. I couldn't be shocked at that point, when he retrieved a slender dildo from his body, and dropped it behind him. Only then, did he slump down onto his backside, his face burning a bright shade of red as he avoided my eyes.

I truly had no clue what I could say to him to make him feel better. It was clear to me that he was mortified, and Rick wasn't a particularly easy man to embarrass. I wondered what it said about me that my pussy was throbbing at this point, my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding with an intense mix of adrenaline and arousal. I decided to throw words out of the window for now, and slipped out of my jacket, placing it down on a chair by our dresser. Rick still wasn't looking at me, his hand on his forehead as he leaned his elbow on his knee, hiding his face from me. He wasn't even aware when I lifted my dress over my head and discarded it too. I approached the bed in my bra and panties, climbing up and shuffling over to him on my knees.

Rick's eyes widened when he realised what was happening, and I lifted his chin up to guide his lips to mine. His surprised sound met my ears only a few moments before his hands lifted to my waist and he leaned back a little, opening up to me once again. I never wanted to see his shameful retreat into himself again. I opened my mouth and played with his tongue just a little before breaking away.

“I feel like you're having far too much fun for me to let you hog it all on your own,” I said to him, my lips curling suggestively. A quiet groan escaped him, one of relief and pleasure.

I drove forwards, forcing him to lay back underneath me as I straddled one of his thighs. My hand wandered south as I kissed him again, I stroked my palm up and down over his cock, slipping down to cup his balls inside the thong. He moaned a little louder, lifting his hips and pressing into my hand. I smiled against his lips and then wrapped my hand around him, jerking his cock steadily and feeling his body tense at the pleasure. I broke the seal of our mouths and moved back just enough to look at his lidded eyes and wet, parted lips. With my free hand on his shoulder I pushed him back completely, then slid down his body until I was eye level with his cock.

I dragged my tongue up his shaft, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him; his hands clenched into fists around the bed sheets. Tilting my head and keeping my eyes on his face, I tongued his cock into my mouth and slid down its length with a soft hum. As I sucked him I slipped my hand between his legs, following the string of the thong back to his asshole that was slick with lube. I stroked my fingertips over the passage, feeling him clench as breathy moans surfaced above me. I knew that I.C liked a bit of ass play, I'd fingered him a number of times in the past but we hadn't really explored any further than that. It was partly why I hadn't been surprised to catch him using a dildo, he wasn't shy about exploring his own body.

Carefully easing a finger into him, I brought my other hand up to his chest where I played with his pierced nipple.

“Ahh, fuck!” He hissed, fidgeting under all of the attention. “God, that's so good.”

I hummed, pleased, in response and rocked my finger against his prostate once I'd found it. It wasn't hard to make him tick, he was panting and groaning with every sweep of my mouth on his cock, every movement of my finger, every squeeze of his nipple. It was unbelievably satisfying to make him react in such a way, writhing on the sheets and chewing his lip until it was puffy. I pulled off of his cock and sat up, shuffling in closer between his legs.

“Lube up that dildo again, hand it to me,” I told him breathlessly, my mind reeling with possibilities now that this side of him was opening up.

Looking slightly stunned, Rick felt around behind him and did as he was told, holding the slick phallus out to me. I hadn't seen it before, either it was new or he'd been very good at keeping it hidden from me. It was a milky flesh colour, realistically designed, a little on the smaller side of average, and it had balls sitting atop a suction cup base.

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” I asked, licking my lips and holding the dildo against my pubic bone, glancing down and admiring the sight of it there.

“Ohhh fuck yes,” he hissed, spreading his legs wide for me. I arched forwards, keeping the dildo against my body as I pressed the tip against his opening. I rubbed it back and forth there for a moment before breaching, easing the toy into him gently. Shifting my position so I had one leg kneeling, the other bent at the knee with my foot on the bed keeping me steady, I started to rock into him.

It'd be a lot easier with a strap on, but I managed to keep the toy positioned at my groin and it was worth it. It felt more intimate this way than it would if I was simply using my hand, and Rick seemed to like it too, lapping up the view with a deep, aroused intensity in his eyes. The whole thing was probably about as enjoyable for me as it was for him, even without any physical stimulation. I had my hand positioned in such a way that my index and middle finger were straddling the dildo, and they pressed against Rick's ass when I buried it deep inside him. For a while, I pictured that the dildo was my own cock, and imagined how it would feel to actually fuck him. Moaning aloud, I bit down on my bottom lip and looked back up into Rick's eyes.

“Is that good?” I asked him sweetly. He nodded his head sharply, his chest heaving with heavy breaths.

“Keep going, d-don't stop,” he gasped.

“Don't you worry,” I smiled, thrusting into him faster, watching his eyes squeeze shut and hearing his breath hitch. Holding the dildo to my groin, I penetrated him with the motion of my hips, and the act made me feel something different to anything I'd experienced in the bedroom before.

I felt powerful, in control, but at the same time; nurturing. Like I was taking care of him, like I was giving him what he wanted and needed and pleasing him. Knowing that what I was doing to him was causing all the sounds he was making; his cries of pleasure, the precum dripping from his cock, the flush in his skin. It was all so satisfying, so hot, I moaned again and fucked him harder. His sounds were loud and desperate, needy, and so arousing. I stroked my free hand up and down his torso, rolling his nipples between my fingers, feeling the flex of the muscle in his abdomen every time I hit his prostate just right, squeezing his thigh. I found myself doing all the things that he would do to me when we made love.

Leaning forwards, I planted my mouth on his, kissing him hungrily while he continued to moan freely. I was so grateful that he didn't feel the need to hide his pleasure from me, I wondered if he'd be as open with his words as he was with his sounds. I broke the kiss, but remained close to his face.

“I've noticed that some of my underwear has been hijacked,” I told him with a smirk, seriously out of breath. This was quite a work out, no wonder he kept his figure a little easier than I did. “I knew it was you.”

“I-I-I'm sorry, baby, I don't know what to tell you,” he gasped, sliding his hands up my sides to my chest, he fondled my breasts through my bra.

“Does it turn you on, wearing women's underwear?” I asked, moving to press some kisses to his neck. It was a little hard to multitask with my hips and my kisses, so I switched to just using my hand to fuck him for a little while. Plus, I was getting tired. I wasn't used to that kind of activity!

“Mm, it's because it's yours. The fact that it's women's is by the by,” he breathed a short laugh, a smile crossing his pleasured expression.

“You've been stealing it since we've moved in together, comfy?”

“Not particularly, but that just means I never forget that it's there. I'm con-constantly reminded that it's your panties I'm wearing.”

I hummed a quiet laugh, “How naughty.”

“You must think I'm a bit of a creep, huh?” He murmured, his words a little wobbly. It was clear he was struggling now to keep focused on the conversation. His hands had slipped under my bra, he was playing with my breasts with none of the finesse he would be using if he was doing it for my sake. I let him grope me all he needed, looking down between our bodies at his leaking, flushed cock. He was gonna cum soon, I could tell.

“Hmm, no. A little quirky, yes, but I knew that anyway. I like it, I think it's pretty hot. How many times have we been out in public together while you've been wearing my knickers?” I questioned, shifting to sit cross-legged between his thighs and getting a better hold of the dildo so I could pick up the pace. He gasped and his back arched, his cock jumping. It all looked so obscene, with my g-string still clinging to his tightening balls. My panties clung to the wetness of my pussy, leaving a damp spot.

“Fuck… a few times,” he admitted, closing his eyes and frowning in concentration. He was trying to put off his orgasm. I gently stroked my palm from his balls to the head of his cock and back, light stimulation that wouldn't have affected him much otherwise. As close as he was then, though, it drove him wild. “I'm gonna cum!”

“When have you done it? Gimme an example,” I said, releasing his cock again.

“Ahh, ah, shit! Wh-when we went to see that movie the other day. I couldn't concentrate, I popped a boner halfway through the film just thinking about it, wh-when you had your hand on my thigh.”

I giggled in satisfaction, rubbing his balls again. A high pitched whine left him and his hips lifted on the bed. His belly was wet with precum and I leaned forwards to lick some away, pausing to kiss the head of his cock before I pulled back. He loved that.

“You should've told me. We had that whole row to ourselves, I could've tugged you off right there,” I indulged, squeezing the base of his cock and pulling upwards once.

Rick practically growled, his hips jolting as I let go, cum shooting forcefully from his cock as I continued to pound his ass through his climax. He shot ropes of cum right up to his chest, his hands gripping the bed sheets tightly, his jaw tense and a cacophony of grunts and whines leaving him with every jump and spurt of his cock. Intense was an understatement, watching his release. My pussy ached.

“Mmm, good boy,” I whispered unthinkingly, giving his cock a few gentle tugs to tease residual drops of cum from him. He made a soft, whimpering sound, and I let go of him.

He laid there, panting like he'd just run a marathon. I gently removed the dildo, leaving it between his legs as I moved to straddle his hips, his softening cock nestled against my wet panties. I bent down and peppered kisses along his jawline as he came down.

“Mm, sorry baby, my dick’s not getting hard for a long time after that,” he murmured, brushing a hand through my hair.

“I don't need it to,” I purred, laying down on him. I felt his cum against my chest, it did nothing but turn me on even more. Slipping a hand between us, I repositioned his cock so that it was out of my way and I could press my clit against his pubic bone. I knew in my state, it would not take much.

“Ohh fuck, that's so hot, I can feel how wet you are,” he groaned as I gyrated my hips, rubbing my clit against him. I moaned softly, my pussy clenching and throbbing, my panties providing a little bit of friction.

Rick trailed his hands down my back to my ass, one hand squeezing my cheek, the other slipping down and stroking the seat of my wet panties. We moaned in unison. His fingers continued their gentle teasing of my slit through my underwear as I moved quicker, humping against him like my life depended on it. I held eye contact with him as I moved, replaying the moment he'd shot his load all over himself in my head, letting that mental image push me closer to the edge.

“I'm so fucking horny, I'm gonna cum just from this, just from thinking about what we just did,” I told him breathlessly. He licked his lips and shuddered, pressing his fingers between my folds, dipping slightly into my opening panties and all.

“You liked that? It's gonna make you cum?” he whispered, looking incredibly turned on by the knowledge.

“Fuck, yes. Deeper,” I knew that our circumstance didn't allow for him to put his fingers properly inside me, but all I needed was for him to pump them slightly, tricking my body into thinking he was. I groaned and arched my neck, looking up to the ceiling. I could feel my panties absorbing my moisture, getting drenched, feeling better and better against my folds.

“We're buying a strap on. W-w-we're doing this again, right baby?” Rick asked, nibbling gently on my neck.

“Yeah, baby. Definitely,” I sighed, clenching my muscles and feeling pleasure ripple through me. “Oh god, that's it! I'm close!”

“Mm, that's right. Use me all you like, grind on me and cum,” he growled, his fingers moving more fervidly. I gasped and came, muscles tensing and releasing, tensing and releasing, filling me with that sweet bliss that had me waking the neighbours with my sounds. “Fuck, that's good. So fucking hot.”

I kissed him as my body started to come down, a the pleasure subsided and a pleasant warmth settled in my core. We made out for a while like that, and soon Rick rolled us over so he was on top, my legs automatically wrapped around his hips. He stroked his hands over my hair as we kissed, and continued to do so when we broke away.

“We should clean up,” he whispered.

“We should,” I half-heartedly agreed. Neither of us moved and we shared a laugh.

“You're not mad about me stealing your underwear?” He asked me.

“No. Just make sure I have some for me to wear,” I smirked and reached down to squeeze his ass cheeks playfully.

“Will do,” he winked at me, then nuzzled into my neck, kissing and tickling me into fits of laughter.

“And as long as I can steal yours.”

“What's mine is yours,” he grinned, rubbing his nose back and forth against mine. I giggled like a kid and jerked back.

“Come on, get off of me, let's run a bath,” I smacked his ass and he made a sultry noise.

“Do that again,” he teased and I pushed him off of me with a snort.

“How about you do that to me?” I countered, cocking a brow as I rose to my feet and undressed completely in front of him.

“That can be arranged, here I am having all my sordid fantasies spilled by accident. That's two of my kinks you've successfully sniffed out. It's about time you share some of yours,” he wiggled his brows.

“Well, I guess we just discovered one of them. Pounding you in the ass.”

“I could live with that,” he said after me as I sashayed into the en suite bathroom to run us a bath. “But besides that?”

“You wanna know my kink?” I called over the sound of the running water. “You'd run a mile,” I snorted.

Rick came up behind me – still wearing my thong – and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Try me,” he whispered, tickling my neck with his nose. I paused and smirked.

In a breezy tone I promised; “One day!”

[miscellaneousmoontoffee]

MoonToffee A monster in Paris AU

The full timeline and some notes ( contains swearing and gets kinda lazy towards the end! ) (( another note Chauncey although mentioned sometimes doesn’t come up much in the AU cause there wasn’t much need, so sorry pig-goat lovers! ))

Characters

- Moon = Lucille - Toffee = Francoeur ( both monsters toffee's just a lot more cunning but I think in this AU he's going to be a lot more open and slightly naive because of the circumstances ) - River = Raoul / Emile ( Raoul's place in the story-ish and Emile's more cautious behavior but without his romance of Maud. ) - Mina = Victor ( the antagonist that's pretty full of themselves and could potentially/go mad, I think they fit each other pretty well ) - No one = Maud ( since river is going to be following after Raoul in terms of loving Moon/Lucille there is no need for a Maud plus no one really fits her much anyway ) - Count Mildrew = Albert ( both background characters and kinda up their respective asses ) - A solarian soldier = Pate ( Pate is the inspector/right hand man of Victor btw ) - Comet = Carlotta ( both the main female leads mum/mother figure ) - Chauncey = Charles ( Chauncey in this AU of course still belongs to moon but she tells him to keep an eye on the river, plus she lets him hang out with the professor cause they both have fun together, aka the prof needed a smart animal companion (( mad scientist aesthetic man )) and Chauncey wanted more food than moon gave him )

Loose plot

- River wakes up daydreaming about being together with moon then is like oh i forgot something ( you can choose what he forgot ) so he goes downstairs. - his dad is like "hey son can you help me run some errands?" obviously this was not a question so river hops in his dad's car and they drive off to do the thing. - his dad drops him off at the lab to deliver some eggs and says he needs to go do some other task and that hes gonna go and he will pick him up when hes done, and River is like "dad I’m just giving some dude eggs i can go with ya" - so his dad goes well actually the guy is out of the country and hes sure they dude wouldn't mind if river went in and looked around, wink wink nudge nudge. - river gets the message and his dad drives away. - He goes in and is like okay I'm glad I went to do chores today this is awesome, and then a pig starts chewing on his trousers and hes like " Chauncey?? what are you doing, does moon know you're here?!?" and Chauncey says nothing cause he's a pig but he tries to push river to the exit but river doesn’t pick up on this hint. - so river goes "Oooh do you wanna explore with me little buddy?" and Chauncey is like 'no leave' but river goes into the lab anyway. - the look around for a bit and river starts drawing stuff that looks cool ( the drawing is bad but he wants to  remember what stuff looks like ) -he finds some potions and is like "ooh I wonder what they do???" so tests one out on a seed that says "instant growth potion " on a label. - it of course grows and he's like wow but walks back to see it better and knocks some potions over. - Chauncey goes to try and stop the potions but steps on a lizards tail and it gets scared and runs under where the potions are falling ( river of course doesn't notice this ) - crash, boom, smoke! - river gets up and sees the shadow of a lizard man and is like " AHHHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" so it runs away so river draws it before he forgets then runs out to the front to get home, not caring that his dad said he would pick him up he's not waiting for that thing to get him! - unfortunately he drops a handkerchief which crudely had his name stitched into it and leaves back to his house. - A couple of days pass and the lizard monster starts showing up in the papers. - an investigation is started over the mysterious explosion at the lab and the new monster that appeared the very same night. - the cheif investigator tells mina loveberry 'bout this and she's like "yes, now is my chance to rise to the top!" - they look around and find River's handkerchief.

- Cut to moon, and her club is looking for a new act/singer and it's not going well. - so one of the waiters, a real smug bastard, is auditioning and it's just him singing badly about how amazing he is and telling her that she's welcome for the free performance of a god. - and she's like "yeah... no thanks I don't really think the club is really the right fit for you." - so hes like " FINE I'M TOO TALENTED FOR THIS LITTLE CLUB I'LL GO FORM MY OWN CLUB! ( *bender voice* with blackjack and hookers! ) - so she's like " yep you are way too good for us, I worry if you joined I would be out of a job. goodbye now! " - Cue Mildrew seeing toffee and freaking out trying to go back in but still being really vain ( ' PLEASE LET ME IN I'LL EVEN SIGN YOU AN AUTOGRAPH!!! ' ) - It doesn't work out so he jumps a nearby fence and books it. - Toffee is like what is that awful ringing noise is it this? and then proceeds to ring the doorbell a million times just too ' make sure it's this '. - So Moon opens the finally all like " YES Mildrew what is it- of holy fudging schnitzels " - she accidentally hits it with the door and is apologizing profusely as she goes to help the ' person ' up. - sees its the lizard person and freaks out, bolts and locks the door. - hears it singing a sad song ( more bitter about the people than the original though ) and is like oh it can talk???? also it has a godly voice???? - she gets an umbrella and tentatively opens the door and apologizes and welcomes this creature in out the rain. - he is suspicious but goes in anyway because its better than freezing to death in the rain - so she awkwardly starts conversation " Soo I'm sorry about hitting you with the door and leaving like that, I just got a bit.... panicked. but might as well start with names, mines moon " - and he just kinda sits there and she picks up that ‘oops he doesn't have one’ so she looks around and is like I have to call him something. - then she looks at a box of toffees a fan had given her and is like " Since you don't seem to have a name would you like me to call you toffee? I'm not the best with names but I need to call you something. " - so he goes ok, and she says that if he wants to stay in Paris he should probably have a disguise.

-cut back to river and someone knocks on his door. - he goes and opens it and it reveals officers who see his drawing of the monster in the lab on his wall and he is arrested. - they bring him to mina, and he starts pleading not to go to prison and that it was all an accident. - ( they also brought Chauncey who was staying with River) - he panicking blames the pig and chauncy narrows his eyes as this will be remembered for later.... - Mina tells him not to worry and that by creating a monster he has actually helped her in one of her secret projects and she gives him a badge of honor. - River leaves and then is like "now that I have this badge I have the confidence to go to one of moons shows and maybe I can try and woo her with my badge!" - so he goes to see her and due to the fact that Mildread is still pissed at moon he gives river the best seats in the house cause he is bad at revenge, so river thinks its his lucky day! - he sees the show and was hypnotized by moons song so he decides to push his luck by going to talk to her back stage. - during the time river was being arrested moon got to see a lot of what Toffee could do and who he is;

. he has a pretty wry sense of humor . he is rather naive in the way of society and social cues . he's also really smart and a quick learner . she also gives him his disguise ( his hair isn't a wig ) . he is pretty fuckin' strong . really stubborn . takes a while for him to trust her but when he does he's pretty clingy . he is vain about his hair and constantly brushes it to lay flat, it always curls at the ends anyway. . he REALLY likes suits. and is rather cuddly.

- so the performance is about to start but he doesn't want to leave her side and sit with the band so cue the scene in the movie. - they actually perform and they end up dancing together on stage, and she refuses to admit to her self that her face felt a little warm when he looked at her with such a loving look while dancing. - back to after the performance and river comes over nervously to congratulate her for the awesome performance, and goes to shake toffee's hands when he spots his tail. - he shrieks and moon puts her hand over his mouth and drags him and toffee back to her dressing room. - she tries to tell him that she knows he's the monster and he's not awful at all. - but river starts freaking out so she slaps him and tells him to get a grip man! - he calms down a little but is still like how are you so calm - so moon tells him why toffee is not dangerous and he calms down properly. - unfortunately for them Mildrew overhears and he now has a better idea for revenge against moon...

- the police arrive soon moon leaves to greet them and try to distract them, while river has to hide toffee. - so Moon goes to the door and is like " oh Mina I wasn't expecting you, what are you doing here? " - And Mina's like " sorry mud sister but this is serious business, where are you hiding it? " - and Moons like fuck she already knows its here somewhere. so she plays dumb " hiding what? I don't have anything to hide. " ( as she sweats bullets ) - and Mina already knowing that moons lying just barges through with the inspector and the 'troops' - Mina instantly tries to go to moons dressing room but moon cuts her off " okay Mina I'm sorry but if you go in there we can't  be mud sisters it's a blatant breach of my privacy. " - and Mina calls her bluff and goes in anyway. - Moon is like fuck everything's over they found him... crud. - so when she goes in to make her last stand she is surprised that they are nowhere to be found, and so is Mina. ( surprised that is ) - the inspector comes in and says they haven't found anything so Mina stands silently for a while then goes and pleads to moon to be mud sisters again. - moon still a bit high on adrenaline from then panic says yes just to get her out of the room and they leave after arresting Mildrew for basically pissing Mina off. - moon sighs and says that they can come out and the cost is clear after Mina and the others leave. - she then gets spooked as toffee pops out of her piano, so she lends him a hand and then checks to make sure nothing's broken in her piano. ( storing lizard men in your pianos isn’t a good for pianos kids ) - river then falls down the chimney coughing from all the soot and toffee warily gives him a hand up. ( the start of a beautiful friendship! )

- the next day Mina opens the Montmartre Funicular ( its a escalator/elevator thing on a hill I think ) - the trio ( plus Chauncey ) planned last night that they are going to fake toffee's death on the opening day so people won't look for him and he can live a normal life. - so Mina introduces moon who is going to sing for the opening. - so halfway through singing river loudly shouts " oh my god it's the monster oooh nooo! " - so the crowd starts panicking and Mina is like ' It’s my time to shine! ' - then Toffee hops down and picks up moon bridal style and roars viciously - and moon is all like " oh noooo it's got me, whatever shall I do? " - one of the 'soldiers' tries to shoot toffee but Mina tells him not to as he could hit her blood sister. - then she remembers that river had conveniently given some ' anti monster grenade ' earlier so she throws it and smoke spreads everywhere. - when the smoke clears the monster is gone and the crowd rejoices their savior (the crowd lead by river and moon of course ) - but then Mina spots a scarf caught in the trapdoor and opens it to reveal toffee.

- moon freaks out so her and river shout at toffee to run, as they themselves make a break for it. - river had conveniently brought his dads car/van to get there ( with his dad's permission of course ) so they hopped in and booked it as toffee went the other way so there would be less people chasing him. - luckily Chauncey had already been waiting in the car so they didn't need to wait for him to get in. - so they speed down the street narrowly avoiding obstacles, one of which ended up making river loose his ' fashionable ' straw coat to a horse. - unfortunately for them a hook ends up grabbing their car and they look up and who is it other than Mina and an exhausted looking soldier peddling their FREAKING AIRSHIP LIKE MINA YOU REALLY DIDN'T NEED A WHOLE FUC- - so moon has to climb out and try and get rid of it cause river is driving. - unfortunately for her it's way to heavy and she almost ends up falling off several times, but fortunately ( finally something good for these poor characters ) toffee was making his getaway very near to them so he hopped down on the cars bonnet to help moon pull off the hook. - but because things can never be easy it doesn't work and Mina ends up lifting the car off the ground. ( also moon falls back onto toffee's chest, cue blushy blushy BS when they think back on this at a later date,a scenario which I have obviously not written ) - so they are currently panicking as moon and toffee precariously make their way back inside the van so when they inevitably fall they won’t be as injured. - so Mina drops them in to the seine to try and drown toffee, currently forgetting that her mud sister ( however traitorous she may be ) was in there. - luckily when they start sinking river's father had been planning a boating trip so he had oars in the back. - they paddle to the Eiffel tower before they drown and make it, only loosing River's dad's car along the way. which in the end maybe worse than drowning in the long run. ( for River at least )

- river mourns the car and they make their way up the tower unsure what to really do now other than try and get as far away from Mina as possible. - Mina shoots the airship and she lands on the Eiffel tower, the soldier only just making it out alive by jumping into the seine. - the trio reaches the top when toffee starts to feel weak and moon notices that a lot of his scales are falling off, and she gets worried but slings his arm over her shoulder and asks river to help her carry him to the top. - they are almost at the top when they are stopped when moon placed toffee down for a bit to rest her arms and she hears a gun click. - Mina demands they hand over the monster and toffee makes a run for it up a ladder to the very top of the tower, so Mina brushes harshly past moon to run after toffee. - unfortunately for moon she was standing too close to an edge and got pushed over but managed to grab the edge. - so river goes to try and help moon but somehow also falls over, hanging only onto a spare belt he tried to lower down. ( hey it’s always handy to have a spare belt y’know? ) - luckily they forgot Chauncey was there because he was trailing behind them the whole way up the tower, so he pulls them both up and moon rushes for the ladder after hugging River and Chauncey. - River goes up too but a bit slower and more careful, after almost falling to his death he didn’t really wanna take another chance after all. - Moon goes up there only to see toffee get shot by Mina and fall to a lower level. - before Mina can look over and make sure he's dead the police inspector comes over and arrests her after the ‘soldier’ who was peddling the airship called the other police officers to arrest Mina for leaving him for dead. - moon vaguely sees this but doesn't stick around long, she rushes back down past river (who had only just gotten up here) to find where toffee fell. - she only found his clothes and no body. - It doesn't really register that he could have escaped because of the shock so she just cries - river finds her and comforts her and she brings the clothes back to her dressing room as to not forget him.

- the next day she realizes she has to perform but she is still overcome by grief, so she picks up his scarf to at least wear if she has to perform when she feels wiggling. - she carefully unwinds the scarf and inside there is a lizard. a lizard missing its middle finger. - overwhelmed by joy she tells river and him and Chauncey go to get a potion that will turn him back to his bipedal form permanently. - so he turns back and after hugging him really hard and him apologizing ( what for though? upsetting her? IDK ask him ) she asks if he wants to go sing with her and he says yes. - they perform and at the almost end of the dance she kisses him, just a light peck but a kiss none the less. - river is semi-heart broken yet had kind of seen it coming for a while now. - and toffee goes beet red as the crowd whistles. - while her mum squeals that her baby had finally found a partner! - END

Notes + extras

- Moon cuts off toffees finger when she was cooking with him at one point but then constantly apologizes for it later, he of course forgives her but she does it anyway and he likes making little jokes and jabs at her about it. - Although when we first see River it looks like he's bad with the cold due to the amount of clothes he's wearing, he is actually really good with the cold and was constantly almost overheating but wanted to impress moon with clothing items that his friends told him were cool. of course they weren't very cool all in one outfit. - when toffee first transformed he got his hair, he doesn't know where from but he thinks there may have been some hair on the floor when he got hit by the potion. - Moon takes star's role as Mina's mud sister since star isn't here in this AU. - cause river was distracted when he was watching moon performance before he knew toffee he didn't see the way they ( moon + toffee ) looked at each other but looking back he can definitely see 'it'.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) - due to the potion making toffee human it also increased his regenerative ability from being a lizard to new heights ( for example, if an ant were human sized it would have super strength ) (( no this doesn’t really come into play into the story )) - after the kiss on stage Toffee and moon share another kiss in her dressing room ( nothing like that get your mind out of the gutter! ) - Chauncey was staying with River before he got arrested because when he left the lab scared he brought him so he wouldn't get hurt but then was too shy to give him back to Moon. - Mina calls the police her ' troops ' in reference to the solarian warriors. possibly why no one wants her as mayor...

[hellssecretary-blog1]

SCP AU - Mask of Indifference

SCP Cuphead AU

Folder File is archivist at “Inkwell Isle” site

Maddie (@ xhcly-shenanigansx ) is SCP - 1907 mentioned Dr: Mike, SCPs - 1471 (Nightmare, @universal-multimuse) and SCP - 1793 (Baroness von Bon Bon)

--

File was leaning against wall, trying to calm herself. But she knew it was fruitless, paper cranes floating around her reminded her on that. It all starred with the nightmarish SCP that got attached to the young doctor. And then the confection based scp he was also observing getting in the fray and breaching her containment too. Cuphead and his brother had lot of work to do, but managed to safe everybody. Barely.

File was badly hurt. Not that anybody knew. Nightmare made her relive her worst memories, enhancing them to absurd levels rendering her useless in the breach that followed. She knew she never burned in the flames that destroyed site 35. But it still claimed life of her parents and many others. She was lucky Devil saved her. But still...

Shaking her head she briskly walked to her office, grabbed SPC foundation issued book reader with Good Omens bookmarked and moved to Maddie's cell. She needed to calm down and needed it right now. The paper crane flock following her doubled in size.

When she arrived at Maddie's small flat, she knocked and without waiting for call, File walked in, cranes still following. Her nerves were extremely frayed, her mind reeling so when she didn't saw the angelic entity she panicked. Bile rose in her throat and File was about to notify entire base that their sanity anchor was gone.

She didn't hear silent footsteps behind her. Maddie was out making sure to calm down other personnel around the base. It was her duty after all and she took pride in it. She didn't expect to see the archivist in her room, twitching and with flock of paper cranes quickly swirling around her, creating small storm of paper. It also seemed they were turning in to something else entirely. Something bigger and more dangerous.

"Miss File?" Maddie never saw somebody turn around so quickly. Folder relaxed so much upon seeing her that she sagged down on floor, with small smile on her face. Swirl of paper around her turned in to small floating paper crane flock once again.

"Oh, thank god, Maddie. I thought you..." File shook her head and stood up. No need to dwell on such foolish ideas. She was already feeling much better in SCP's presence and slowly walked to small chair she always sat on.

"You thought what, luv?" Maddie frowned and sat on her favorite chair, plush one with lot of pillows, decorated in pale blue laced cover.

"It doesn't matter now. I bought Good Omens, we ended almost at the end. I might read it till the end now, if you want to." File turned her head around and started to read out loud. It calmed her, feeling like somebody was listening and not needing to think about what she was reading. It was nice.

Till they got the the part where fire started. Maddie instantly noticed how File tensed. Her eyes grew wide and once again every paper crane around her started to swirl wildly, morphing in to a huge mass.

Maddie quickly stood up and moved to frozen File. She put her hands on others cheek, since direct contact made her calming powers even more influential.

Folder slumped down in her seat, one shaking hand reaching out to grasp Maddie's

"Do you want to talk about what happened? You seem to be shaken by it."

"I... I... shouldn't, it's confidential. Only members of 05 know the whole truth." File licked her lips, not letting go of Maddie's hand and averting her eyes to the side. She shouldn't talk with SCP so freely, especially about such horrible event as destruction of SCP Foundation site. But this was Maddie, angel in flesh.

"I'm not forcing you, luv. But it's your powers that are rebelling against you." Maddie was like serene statue, her eyes blue and full of understanding and silent encouragement.

"Was there when site 35 was destroyed. The only survivor. Few people survived, but all of them are dead now. If it wasn't for somebody, I would be long gone. Like my parents. Saw them walk out of the fire, like two human torches.

Calling me, inviting me in their burning embrace. That damn SCP, Wrath of Fire. She escaped and set everything ablaze. Turning anybody who burned in her flaming sirens. That is how site 35 was lost. It burned down. It's still burning. Corpses calling out your name and sweetly inviting you to them." File didn't know she was crying, only when Maddie dried her tears with small handkerchief, did she look up at her.

"Nightmare escaped. He showed you yours memories. And it affected you more than you can admit." Maddie stated, sitting next to File, never letting go of others hand. File simply noded.

"Enhanced it too. I still can hear their voices in my nightmares. Now even in waking world. That was reason I was send to site without fire related SCPs, if you don't count Grimm." File didn't say whole truth, it was best if Maddie didn't know that Devil saved her and Wrath had hands in Maddie's capture. That was all confidential and her burden to carry.

"You can sleep here, if you want to. I will make sure your sleep is peaceful. Or we could ask Mug..."

"Don't! They already reset and made safe point. I cannot ask them to do more. Beside I believe they wouldn't be able to stop Nightmare in state they were when I last saw them."  File shook her head, not wanting to explain what happened to her to higher ups. She couldn't face Devil right now. And she passed by brothers on her way here. They looked at her with fearful eyes. She didn't want to know what happened in previous timelines.

"You should take holidays, luv. Leave and for some time be alone and let others bugger off." Angel poked passing by crane, making it spin in the air, before it corrected itself and continued in its slow orbit around Folder File.

"Cannot. I'm under surveillance." File glared at the cranes, who still floated around as if their creator wasn't glaring at them. "But.. if you wont mind, I will take a nap."

Maddie wanted to ask about the surveillance, but File already slumped down in her chair. The only thing Maddie could do was to ensure File got her rest.

[floramodus-archive]

begin disaster ==>

floramodus fuckfuckjfuck DAVE!!!!!!

clockworkkatana what whats up

floramodus my microscpe exploded i cant see theres glass and blood everywhere i dont wanna die again but i cant SSEE!!!

clockworkkatana whoa fuck wait what

floramodus the nuclear reactor battery in my scope combusted and i couldnt contain it all in time and it blew out my retinas and i think shattered my lens i dont know i dont know!!!!!!

clockworkkatana um fuck okay hold still ill be there in just a second

floramodus be careful i dontt know how b a d the glass went

clockworkkatana dont worry ill put on shoes just stay still a second okay? dont move

floramodus ggot that covered i kinda stopped trying when i got a shard of goddamn GLASS in my hands!!

clockworkkatana ill take care of that too just keep breathing for now im on my way

clockworkkatana "Keep breathing" is advice both to her and yourself, and you try best to follow it as the transportalizer warms up, dumping you unceremonious on the receiver pad a universe away. You swear to fuck, if another friend dies (or even is badly injured) you're going to have to break something. A fundamental force of the universe, maybe. You'res still workshopping.

"Flo?" you say, voice steady as you please, slowly opening the door to her room. You hear the crunch of glass underfoot and know you've found the right place. "It's me. It's Dave. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus Even blind and panicking you can't help but hiccup a laugh at his voice. God, your a mess. "I know its you, Dave. It's not-" You spit out another mouthful of blood, voice wavering as you take off your glasses to cover your mangled eyes with your equally bleeding hand.

"It's not like I was expecting anyone else," you finish, twisting your body to face where you heard him enter. As casual as you tried to look you felt like you could scream; Thank fuck the explosion hadnt of hurt your ears, because seeing nothing but red and black reminded you too fondly of your time in the horrorterrors. You fumbled to find the chair with your other hand, gripping the leg when you found it. "I hope you werent working."

clockworkkatana You wince at the blood - fuck, there sure is a lot of that, huh? - and fail to summon a reassuring smile you know she can't see. "I don't know what your life's like," you counter, taking careful steps towards her, avoiding as much glass as you can manage, "best to make sure you knew it's me and not some rando, yeah?"

She turns to face you and oh good lord you think you've actually had this nightmare once or twice. How about fuck. "Jesus," you murmur under your breath before clearing your throat and raising your voice for her to hear: "Nah, don't worry about it. Not a lot's more pressing than this, don't stress about me." You reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, kneeling down beside her.

floramodus The contact snaps you farther back into reality, or breaks the overall shock. What ever the case, your still left with the throbbing pain actually hitting you for the first time. Fuck. You spend a minute trying to level your breathing. Maybe think of something witty and cool to respond with. You fail, but you'd doubt he'd give you shit for it.

"I didn't think I was doing anything dangerous," you whimper, taking your hand off your face as you try to push yourself up onto your knees. Your rewarded with surprise! More glass in your knees and the sensation of shards tangled in your tail. Keeping you head low trying to spare him more imagery then he has to see, you find his arm to touch something not laced with goddamn glass. You cant even feel yourself crying but you have an inkling you are. "I was just updating some information and I still managed to fuck up. I dont wanna die again.How else am I gonna fix this?"

clockworkkatana You are so bad at bedside manner. You take a breath and swallow down the discomfort, though, you have more important things to worry about. "We're gonna figure it out," you say, and you can almost believe yourself, saying it. "Just. Okay. First things first, we're gonna get you out of here and get you cleaned up. Sound good? Leave the worrying about to me, I can handle that."

You're still mumbling what are supposed to be reassurances when you rise slowly to your feet, sliding her arm around your neck. "Just relax and keep to breathing, yeah?" you say, carefully picking her up off the broken glass. "I got you from here." Your apartment hasn't needed to double as field hospital since Briar came back, but you've kept the kits well stocked just in case. "You don't have to fix this," you reassure. "Leave it to me. You're not gonna die again. You didn't fuck this up. S'not your fault. I'll handle this. Just let me do that, alright?"

floramodus "Don't you ever get tired of being the one to handle everything Dave?" you mumble, hissing through your teeth. Helpful as getting off a floor coated in glass was the urge to crawl right back into a ball was almost too tempting. Instead you grip tighter to him, trying to keep most of the blood off. From the smell alone you doubt its worth the work. Doesn't stop the worry from needling physical responses out of you.

"You spend so much of your time fixing things. Things that werent your fault and shouldnt be." You lean your head against him, ears flicking as you listen to him try- and fail- to appear as composed. "You can handle alot but do you ever ask if you should?" Before you even let that tangent fully settle you bring up your defense, with a breathy laugh. "I know this pickle I've gotten myself into isn't the time to question your motives I much appreciate not being a pin cushion till I expire. Your much warmer than the floor anyway."

clockworkkatana Don't you? But, then, if you won't, who will? (Or, you suppose, if you don't handle things, what are you supposed to do? Stand by and watch things happen? Never seemed your style.) "It's worth it," you reply, and you suppose it's answer enough.

It's difficult, carrying a goddess in your arms and scrolling through transportalizer coordinates to find the one that leads back home, but somehow you manage, face dour as Flora laughs. "I'd rather bear the brunt of it if it means you lot don't have to. And - don't talk like that. You're not expiring. We don't have expiration dates and you're hardly that far out if we did."

floramodus You'd roll your eyes if they werent throbbing with the rest of your skull. A classic Dave response, one you expected, but it had to be said. No use to argue with a knight after all. Instead you yawn, it twisting into a sigh. You were tired in many many ways. "I won't argue with the Time player about death dates but you know what I meant! I'm just saying being with you is a much better alternative than was my other options were."

You jump hearing the transportilizer whirring to life, having lost your awareness of your surroundings. It made you shiver, knowing where the thing was in the map in your head but not being able to pinpoint it visually. Especially when the smells switched in an instant, throwing your generally clear sense out the window. You shook your head, trying to stamp down the shaking. "And considering it feels like the horrorterrors are gonna tear me apart again, I don't particularly wanna see my other options if thats alright with you."

clockworkkatana You guess you smile at that, a lip curling with a huff of breath. "Yeah, I guess you got me there." Artemis and company give a chorus as you step inside, watching as you carrying Flora through the apartment towards Briar's room.

You still think of it as hers, anyway, and you've hardly touched it since she left, but she won't be back today or tomorrow or maybe ever so you guess it's alright to use it for its intended purpose when you rented this place. That is, a place to not bleed all over the floors and ruin your deposit. "Fine by me," you say, depositing her very gently on the bed. Talos appears in the doorframe, and you get him to go grab the medkits while you focus on getting her sorted. "Don't worry, alright? I'm right here and I got you. You're gonna be fine."

floramodus "I think at this point your saying that more for yourself than me," you chuckle, despite still shivering. Smooth, almost like you weren't having a panic attack so bad your chest felt like it was collasping. Like you couldnt feel your own pulse in between seizing pain. Tucking yourself close once you were set down, you cocked your head trying to pinpoint where you were in Dave's house. You have been here a million  times but this place smelled like Briar and stale iron more than the usual scents.

"This is Briar's old place isn't it," you murmur, wiping the collecting blood off your face with the back of your hand, clenched tight enough you felt your nails digging into the cuts on your palms. Normally you wouldn't even breach that subject if you could help it but he could throw you a bone here. He could have taken you to Briar's for all you know. Though you think you couldn't have paid him enough to do so.

clockworkkatana You scowl and shoot her a scathing glare that she can't see. "I might be," you reply, taking the hint and slowing yourself right the fuck down. "Doesn't mean I don't mean it, though." Talos returns, setting down a heavy bag and rifling through supplies you've had kept safe as a just-in-case ever since you got your own place. Thank your upbringing for that, you guess.

"Oh, uh. Yeah," you falter for a moment before you shake yourself and find the bandages to wipe away the blood. You cough, finding some tweezers to start plucking the shards of glass from her skin. "Her, ah. Old room, from when she crashed with me. Yeah, why?"

floramodus It takes you a minute to get coherent enough to reply to his discomfort, due to the fact as soon you heard metal you jerked yourself back on the bed. Of course when your arm doesnt want to take your weight you fall onto your side with a hiss. Right, at Dave's. Not a doctor. Doesn't stop your pulse from trying to escape your mortal coil.

"Uh, nothing, I just smelt her is all. I just wanted to know where I was." You hated how pathetic that sounded, how pathetic you were at the moment in general. "I just smelted blood and Briar and I know thats not something I've smelt here before. Ive never gone in here, haven't had to." You didn't have to ask if this is where she had been when she came back. You could smell it. Even coming to the internet after the aftermath you could almost picture the disaster from the mosaic the smells made. It was uncomfortable almost, not organic.

clockworkkatana Ah. Right. You'd been trying not to think about how the air in here was still a little stashed with the weight of her. "Oh. No, yeah. This is her room. I haven't gone in here much since she moved. Not for like a set reason or anything I just haven't. Really had a reason to I guess." Do you sound as pathetic as you think that sounds? Eesh. Maybe stop thinking about it and focus on the task at hand.

"But no, yeah. We're still at my place." You spare a glance at her eyes when you dab at the blood with another bandage, wince at the red film that sort of leaks from her ducts. "At risk of asking maybe the dumbest question ever, how, uh. How are you feeling? How's the pain? I have stuff for it. Advil, oxycodone, morphine, the works. I'm working on the glass right now but. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus "You say risk like theres a chance it wasn't dumb, Dave," you huff in a good natured way, glad for a segaway over you two trying to fumble over a charred bridge still smoldering with embers. You were never good at that. Which is why you guess the bridge of how you ended up like this is still left dry rotted. At least you had enough answers to satisfy your morbid curiousity. "It hurts. bad. I'm cold and i cant stop shivering. I want go to bed. I'm sleepy. It hurts. Did I mention it feels like I shot myself?"

You try sit up but get as far as shoving yourself up an inch before your slip back down. The more tired you got the more sitting still made you nervous. Like every second that crawled past was gonna drag you with it. "Whats the diagnosis doc? Am I gonna have to go to the rainbow bridge to fix this?" you said, yelping at the last few words as he pulled out a sizable chunk. Note to self: bulletproof glass.

clockworkkatana "Do you want these fucking drugs or not," you fire back, cracking a grin as you reel back from potentially dive-bombing into angsty horseshit again. "But. Yeah. Okay, I can work with that. Just let me get the rest of these shards out-" the words are eclipsed by a particularly tricky sliver that feels bad just to watch abscond from her skin, nevermind how it must feel on the extraction, "-and I'll let you rest. I can give you something for that, too. I'll even let you borrow my good blanket, alright?"

She shifts as you drop another shard into the little bowl you're containing them all in, and you put a hand on her shoulder to ease her back down. "Don't move, alright? You're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna patch you up and you'll be right as rain, no rainbow bridge required."

floramodus "I've never had pain meds in my life but at this point I'll take anything- it'll keep me from BITING you at least," you growl, the irony of your bared teeth not lost on you even as you fight the urge to snap his hand. "I'm doing my best here ok," you continue, as if your hands werent aching from tension, "But you know damn well I'm not gonna take anything of yours unless were sharing it Dave." Were you afraid of being alone and blind? Maybe. He didn't have to know that. He probably already did. Your friendship was infuriating like that.

You tried to think of a conversation that would fit in between the silence and not sound stupid, but really, what wouldn't? Sure lets talk about the weather while your laying here, blind as a bat, whimpering as you scratch at your own eyes because they felt like goddamn sandpaper. Real casual.

"It's hell actually caring that you exist," you finally say, turning you head to look at him. "Before I made such progress when I didn't care if each time I died it could end up just. Now? its so frustrating that every option is a dead end! Even with all the knowledge and equipment I have I'm failing Bec again and again just like I failed David, Rose, John.........All of you when I couldn't just find a goddamn solution and be able to stop!"

Another piece, another panging spasm. "The saddest thing is theres solutions all around but guess what? I don't want any of you hurt. Not if I tried to play the game again, you using that damned book of yours. Why can't that be solace enough to quit? Why do I still do this? I've probably learnt too much from you." you conclude, turning your head back around with a sigh.

clockworkkatana “I know, I know,” you begin, though she beats you to the punch and drops you with a couple of bombshells that have you sighing and silent. The morphine is right where you left it from last time, and you rattle the bottle a little in your hand, toying with the cap. “I don’t need morphine.”

The hand on her shoulder cups her face - you don’t know anything about anything but you don’t think scratching at her eyes is going to help things - for a moment before pulling away, and you match her sigh with one of your own. “You aren’t failing anyone,” you say, and you mean it, really you do, but even to you the words sound tired. “The game just fucked you, straight up. You shouldn’t have to torture yourself over reworking and reverse-engineering this fucking. Planet-ending crock of eldritch horror straight from a Sims-addicted serial killer’s fantasy fever dream to try and undo what basically amounts to fate bullshit and destiny /fucks/. That shouldn’t be on you, Flora.”

You pluck what you think is the last shard of glass and drop it unceremoniously into the bowl, waving your hand in the air in a gesture she can’t even see. “Don’t even talk about playing again, dude. I know you’re hurting for answers but for real. Don’t mess with that. I’ll take the stupid book and whatever it did to Briar over you going back in there any day of the week.” At the mention of the tome, you glance over to see it resting on the cleared-out space of Briar’s desk. As though it’d been there all along, beckoning. “What could it do to me, anyway.”

floramodus You crack a small smile at his colorful tangent, knowing realistically he was right. It wasn't your choice to play. It wasn't your choice to die. And yet, here you were. Fumbling with your hand, you wave it like an unsure dog until you make contact with his arm, gripping it. "It could do a hell of alot to you Dave and you know it. You don't what it does you've said it yourself. Do you think I could live with myself if it did something?"

You let go, moving your blood stuck bangs off your forehead, wincing at the pang of pain that radiates up your forearm. "I survived losing everyone I care for Dave. I thought that was the worst that could happen. I know I'm wrong about that. If something hurt you id easily find something just without thought. You don't know how much you've made this life worth living. It's an option, yeah, but you've got to look at yourself and know that."

You lay your arm back down on your stomach, sucking air in through your teeth. Who knew being covered in glorified papercuts would sting so much? "But don't worry, I won't play the game again. That I can leave in the past and not be discontent."

clockworkkatana You shrug to that. Hypothetically, from what you know? It could do a great fucking deal of a lot. Briar’d only used it as last resort, and look what she had to show for it. Then again, so had you, and you’d seen no adverse side effects, aside from the one where she moved out. “It wouldn’t kill me,” you reply. “Besides, I’ve used it before. How do you think I brought Briar back?”

You wince in empathy, shaking out the morphine pills and pressing them gently into her hand while Talos exits to grab her a drink. Then you wince again, when her words process. “Come on, Flo,” you begin, a pang of guilt racking you as she carries on. “I care about you too, you know that. And that’s exactly why I’m bringing it up: I want to fix this, and the book is… it’s good at fixing things. You wouldn’t lose me for that - no one would.”

You make a hum of appreciation at the appeasement of that particular nightmare. “We don’t have to do anything right now. We don’t have to make any decisions yet. But we’ll figure something out. Maybe it’s the book, maybe it’s another way. But we’ll find a way to fix this. I promise that.”

floramodus You let the tension ebb out of your shoulders at his affirmations, but still let a frown creep through. Yeah, he had brought her back, but you knew things like that, never worked the same way twice. However, if he insisted everything would work out, you were inclined to believe him. Many drunken and wounded nights in the past year had proven his words correct; Everything would be ok if you believed him.

"Not like I'm in the right place to be making any important decisions" you joke, giving the pills a tentative sniff. Dave could have given you cyanide for all you care, but the sharp scent of sulfate and stale wrongness still sent a shudder down your spine. Gross. "But your right, nothing we can do tonight anyway. I just-" you pause, trying to prop and pull yourself up so you could take these pills without choking, and manage to pull yourself up just enough to be able to slump your weight on your elbow. You take  By then you didn't know how to finish that statement, so you throw the pills in your mouth and chase them down with the water Talos brings a few minutes later into your pondering. What did you wish for? To be able to be better at being the powerful god you wanted to be? Or that he would have been David, giving you someone that actually cared enough to try? "I just care too much, but thats always been my problem hasn't it?"

[hookysblog]

BACK TO AMERICA May ‘17

Our American Airlines flight is cancelled from Manchester, gone tech!

So we are transferred to British Airways via Heathrow, which actually works out better for us;) It’s a direct flight to San Francisco, we were due to change in Dallas….. every cloud eh? A lovely brand new plane too, very comfortable and as it’s a day flight, sleep escapes me….. Which I will regret later;(

We land and navigate Immigration easily, but when we get to the luggage roundel we are informed that our gear is still in London…..Ooops! Mad panic ensues and as we run round like headless chickens, we are gently re-assured it will all be here tomorrow, thank god. We get into our Japanese hotel, Kabuki about 4.a.m English time. We are knackered. It is 8.30p.m here now, but I am shot, totally combobulated, so crawl to bed and guess what? Am wide awake at 4.30a.m San Fransico time??? Hammering on the breakfast room door at 6a.m, then in the gym for 7! Later we are informed by text, that one bag is missing….But which one you ask? Only the one containing our backing track machines!!! Which are obviously vital to the New Order set??????

This only affects one half of the show but is very upsetting, we have another panic summit but let’s face it ?…..it isn’t the end of the world:(See Kim Jung On and Donald Trump for that!) Me and Jack sort out a replacement set and later I head over to Berkeley for a rare sound-check.

 UC THEATRE, BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA 28/4/17

This is a really funky place, very bohemian, but the traffic from San Francisco is really bad;( The driver tells me that so many people commute to the centre of S.F. now that sometimes there and back can take nearly 4 hours a day…..EWWWWH! Thankfully all the gear has arrived….Hooray!

We are back to normal, whatever that is?. Sound-check well and after a pizza courtesy of our great friend Professor Wendy Fonarow, who is introducing us tonight, we are well fed and watered;) Gig time is here and Jack and I are presented with our new guitars by Yamaha, made especially to commemorate the BB1200S that I have used on nearly every New Order track and all my solo work, Freebass, Revenge and Monaco, and most other sessions as well.

They are rebuilding them as my signature bass. I am honoured. These two are prototype’s…. rebuilt from scratch, and amazingly are actually better sounding than the original, technology eh? The launch is imminent. Details to follow;)….

The gig is great, the boys play very well, interestingly ‘The Others’ played here last week so half joking I ask the audience who went to see them and nearly all, if not all actually, put up their hands….No pressure eh? It is very interesting that we share the kids, they have them one night and us the other. How long before they start playing us off against each other for more treats and presents….

 Mummy, please let us stay up later!

 Daddy let’s us have McDonalds every day!

Etc, etc., I am worried;(

 Anyway, onstage sound is crap, which just goes to show how useless sound-checks are, but the gig goes great. Both sets are received very, very well and we are very happy. Luckily the trip back is much quicker at midnight and we all crawl to bed. I sleep okay thanks to a Zopy, but bloody hell this jetlag is murder! Must be old age? We fly early to Denver, thankfully with equipment.

 SUMMIT MUSIC HALL DENVER, 29/4/17

I like Denver. Red Rocks is sensational, I urge you to check it out if you ever get there. Even without a gig they are worth seeing. The weather is freezing and we are greeted by a blizzard…..Wild!

What a contrast to California. One old mans nap later and I am at the gig, which is packed. N.O. goes down a treat and then on to Joy Div. we get a flurry of fights! In Digital I have to stop the band as one guy is elbowing another, Jack Reacher style, on the top of his head in a huge melee in the audience??? It calms down but flares up again and again, right to the end of the set. Scary! Be careful what you wish for eh? We finish greatly and head out into the cold to bed, Pottsy is unwell and struck with a sore throat and I really miss him tonight;(

I sing Confusion and Perfect Kiss, which I enjoy. Off to bed and with a wake up call for 6.10a.m, to worry about, sleep really badly. I am up at 5.30a.m exhausted. Airport run wakes us up and a quick 2 hours get us to the …..cold of Dallas???? The first time I have ever been cold in Texas;( The weather has been very bad here for a while, watching the news is terrifying. The boys and I all go straight to bed, crashing out. I grab 2 and a half hours then wake up feeling terrible, really jet-lagged……it’s horrible. Stumble to the gig….

 Old Young Hooky! If you know what I mean?;)

FORTRESS FESTIVAL, FORT WORTH, TEXAS 30/4/17

Held in the Modern Art Museum, the place is gorgeous. We are playing on a raft in the middle of an ornamental lake outside the Main Art Hall. I have no idea why? But there is a moat in front of us, which is quite weird. It is cold and windy which doesn’t help with the atmosphere and then as it goes dark we realise there are no suspended lights at all. It’s all floor lights, so the stage is virtually pitch black. You can’t see the frets or lyrics or even each other. Totally surreal! The sound is awful too, but the lads put in quite a performance and we even do an encore. Great crowd, and the moat stays un-breached. I do interviews celebrating Bill Paxton (‘Touched by the Hand of God’ Video) and Jonathan Demme (‘Perfect Kiss’ Video) both taken much too early, the net seems to be closing in, scary. Bed about 1 and feeling so spacy it’s unbelievable, oh to sleep, please god. Up at 8.30 and a hearty Texan breakfast that would have fed 4 Englishmen, makes me feel better and I steel myself for the trip home to good Ol’ Blighty.  Takes me 4 days to recover….phew…..I must be getting old.

Love Hooky ’17.

[necrose3]

A Dark Alley - Ch.1 Written by Damain D. Wolf

warning contains: strong language, blood and violence, possible feels    

   “This is officer Hopps reporting in from cruiser 14 with officer Wilde. What is the update status on that 417?” The radio crackled for a second before Clawhauser’s voice could be heard “Yeah, the assailant seems to be a male badger, mid 30’s, carrying a high caliber revolver and is now a 217.” Nick looked over at Judy with a mildly surprised look mixed with excitement, “Wow, assault with intent to murder. We haven’t had anything like this in Zootopia for a long time. At least not that the ZPD finds out about.” Judy shot him a look of disapproval, “This isn’t a game Nick, animals will get hurt if we don’t do are jobs and do them right.” Nick gave a little smile, “I know, I know I’m just happy we finally get to do something besides hand out parking or speeding tickets is all.” Nick pulled out his Glock 19, pulling the slide back and giving the gun a quick look over. “You know we carry we things around, but never once have I used it off the gun range.” “That’s a good thing Nick.” Judy said with a stern tone in her voice. “The whole point of being a police officer isn’t to be getting into shoot outs. You don’t even wear your ballistics vest!” Judy shouted. “Well it causes such unsightly lines and messes with my figure. You manage to pull it off so well though, good on ya.” Nick smiled and winked at Judy as he pleaded his case. Judy gave him an annoyed look, “Well now you need it and don’t have it.” Nick gave a little shrug, “Don’t worry Carrots, everything will be fine. Sly fox remember?” Judy looked out the window as the parked across the street from the house of the incident. “I hope you’re right Nick.” Judy thought to herself.

    Nick and Judy got out of their patrol car and readied their guns as they approached the rundown apartment where reports of gunshots had come from. Judy looked down at her gun, it suddenly felt so heavy in her paw. She had fired it a hundred times at the range and was an excellent shot, but this was the first time she had ever held it out on the field. Suddenly it didn’t just feel like another tool on her belt anymore, it was a weapon. “Hey Carrots, c’mon we gotta get in there.” Nick’s voice snapped Judy back to the job at hand. The two carefully snuck across the street to the apartment. Judy took a position next to the door and put an ear to it. “Hear anything?” Nick whispered as he carefully peeked in through the cracked window. “I hear some shuffling around inside; do you see anything?” Judy asked. “No, it’s too dark but I can smell blood. We better use a beetle bomb; he’ll probably run if we announce that we’re here.” Nick pulled out a small beetle shaped bomb given to the smaller animals of the ZPD used to breach locked doors with a compact explosion. “I’ve always wanted to use one of these.” Nick placed the bomb on the lock and then they took their positions on each side of the door. “You ready Judy?” “Ready Nick.” Nick pushed the button resisting the urge to say, “Fire in the hole!” which set off the bomb blowing the knob and lock off flinging the door open.  

    Nick and Judy rushed in with the guns and flashlights drawn. “This is the ZPD come out with your paws where we can see them!” Judy shouted as they began scanning the apartment. The inside of the apartment was worse than the outside. Peeling wallpaper, torn carpet, and now Judy could smell it too…blood. As she continued to search the room she noticed the smell was getting stronger as they walked further into the apartment. “I’m going to search the back rooms.” Nick said. Judy nodded, “Ok, I’ll take the bedroom and kitchen.” Judy walked toward the kitchen and tried to turn on the lights but they didn’t work. As she walked forward into the kitchen she felt something warm and thick on her feet. She looked down and she was standing in blood, a pool of it that trailed off down the hall. Judy followed the trail that went under a door at the end of a hall. Nick was already standing there about to go in. Nick looked at Judy, “On three. One, two, three.” Nick kicked in the door and they scanned the room, it was the master bedroom of the apartment. It appeared to be empty and the blood trail lead to the bathroom. They followed the trail into the bathroom and there on the floor was a snow leopard in a puddle of blood who had taken two rounds two the chest and wasn’t breathing. “Oh, no.” Judy said covering her nose. Nick checked for a pulse, “They’re gone.”

    Before Nick could check for an ID Judy’s ears shot up. “The bedroom!” They both rushed back in as the badger was leaving the bedroom closet. “Freeze!” They both shouted as Nick drew his gun and fired off a round missing as the badger jumped out the window into the alley. Judy screamed and dropped to her knees as Nick had fired the gun right next to her ears. Nick turned to her, “Oh shit, Judy I’m sorry I.” “Just get him, I’ll catch up.” Judy said. Nick nodded and followed the badger jumping out of the window. Immediately upon landing outside the window Nick felt an overwhelming pain on his head and everything went black for and instant before he felt the badger get him in a headlock and put his gun to Nick’s back. “You bastard!” Nick growled, “You were waiting for me?” “Well whoever jumped out first.” The badger responded with a light chuckle. “Where’s the rabbit?” Just then Judy jumped out to see Nick held hostage and bleeding from the forehead. “Oh god no, Nick.” “Beautifully well timed love, we were just talking about you.” The badger said all this as he glared Judy down with one eye and a menacing smile keeping his head mostly hidden behind Nicks. “Let him go.” Judy stated as she drew her gun not sure where to aim it as the badger was covering himself well with Nick’s body. “Oh, sure I’ll let him go! And then I suppose you’ll just let me go as well! We can all be on our marry fucking way then.” The badger said with a very sarcastic laugh. Nick noticed the badger was moving the gun around on his back. He thought this was strange because he had it aimed at his lower back, there was almost nothing vital to hit. Never the less he wasn’t currently in a position to worry about such things, he was still bleeding from the head. “There’s no way out of this for you asshole!” Nick said struggling in the badger’s hold. “I beg to differ, I think I have a pretty good shot.” He said this and chuckled. He had stopped moving the gun and angled the barrel down slightly then fired.  

    Nick fell over in excruciating pain. Then he heard something, it sounded distant at first, between his head wound and being shot in the back he wasn’t sure if it was real. Then he realized what it was, Judy was yelling. She was in pain, he realized what had just happed. The badger had been aiming at Judy through Nick and he’d hit her. “My, my, my love. That looks painful.” Judy had been shot in the left thigh and was crawling for her gun. The badger ran up and kicked the gun into a sewer drain. “Uh, uh, uh sweetheart, I learned that lesson. You know this gun really is something. It’s a .357 Colt Python, now that might not mean anything to you. But do you have any idea how hard it is to aim and shoot through another animal; especially when she’s wearing a bullet proof vest? You weren’t giving me a whole lot to shoot at sweet heart. You have to give me credit for getting you in the leg though.” He circled around Judy and was now standing next to her head with the gun pointed between her eyes and pulled back the hammer. The smile he’d had up until now left his face. “This is for my brother you scum.” Just then a growl was heard and Nick leaped up biting the badger on the Neck causing him to fire and miss Judy. The Badger let out a loud scream, “You mangy fox, get the fuck off me!” He began repeatedly punching Nick in the head as Nick clawed the badger’s face and dug his fangs deeper into the thick fur trying to penetrate as much flesh as possible. The badger finally pointed his gun up at Nick’s head and fired.

    Nick fell off and laid on the ground unmoving. The badger now badly injured looked at the still fox that had a pool of blood gathering under him. “Bloody sod, maybe you would have made it out of this if you’d stayed down.” The sounds of sirens could be heard coming from off in the distance. “And that’s my que to leave.” The badger staggered off down the alley saving his last shot in case he needed it for his escape. Judy crawled over to Nick. “Nick, oh god no Nick please don’t die.” A small cough was heard and Nick turned his head to Judy. A chunk of Nick’s right ear was missing where the badger had shot Nick. “Nick you’re alive! Don’t worry you’re going to be ok.” Nick looked at Judy and smiled trying to talk between haggard breaths. “Well, I don’t know about that; but you’re alive.” Nick let out several hard coughs full of blood. “Judy, I..I..Lo” Nick slipped out of consciousness as the world went black around him. Judy looked down at Nick with tears welling up in her eyes. “Nick. Nick stay with me!” She held onto the unconscious fox crying as the ambulances arrived at the dark alley.

Ok so here is the first chapter of my new fanfic A Dark Alley. I know it was dark, my insomnia has really been getting to me and my depression is pretty bad and that has largely inspired this. so yeah, i will try and post ch 2 of Nick and Judy Go to the Club soon. this is my second writting and my first ever drama. would love some feedback !

@feverwildehopps @gokhan20 @pyrophoricitee @chernwei5784 @thatzootopianfox @fourthdimension99 

*�>��AC’

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #95

this one’s long, buckle up.

do you put candy canes on your christmas tree? yeah. what’s your favorite flavor of doritos? cool ranch, yum<3 have you ever seen a hippo in person? yeah. do your siblings text you? not unless they need something. who is your ex dating/talking to? i'm assuming jason's still with ashley. when growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together?  usually. did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? mom did. has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager?  pretty sure my mom? i don't feel like doing the math... maybe she was 20... i don't remember when she had katie. do you know anyone who overshares every little detail of their life on social media? oh my god, yes. if you were a mermaid, what color would you like your fin thing to be? pink have you ever been bitten by anything venomous? no. how many bathrooms does your house have? is this enough? one, and no. how far away from your town/city is your state’s capital city? like an hour. do you think that christians (and other religions) can believe in evolution?  i suppose. your first dog?  trigger. your first cat? chance. do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste?  mint. what color hoodie did you wear last?  black w/ a pikachu design. if you wear glasses, do you have them for nearsighted/farsightedness? or what? i have trouble seeing far away. do you have a build-a-bear? somewhere. do you think emo is an overused, overrated term nowadays? no, but there are a lot of misconceptions about it. do you love listening to sad piano solos? YEAH was one of your grandpas in a war?  i don't think so... what do you like more, acoustic or electric? electric do you still consider pluto a planet?  PLUTO IS A GOSH DARN PLANET OKAY do you like to eat leftovers? not particularly. nothing tastes the same warmed up. would it bother you if you had to dissect a cat?  yes. do you watch south park or family guy? no, but i prefer family guy. do your pets come to you when you call them? bentley and cali always do, teddy almost always does unless he's being lazy. ha ha he's old, i guess it's okay. do you like belts?  studded ones that actually look cool, yeah. i always wore a belt in high school. have you ever used fake eyelashes?  no. have you ever used fake nails? no. what type of music is your favorite? heavy metal. what type of music is your least favorite?  rap do you like fall out boy?  i sure do. patrick stump is my favorite singer. who is the lead singer of your favorite band? ozzy osbourne, james hetfield, marilyn manson, otep shamaya, jeremy mckinnon, dani filth, jonathan davis, til lindemann have you ever done any hard drugs? no. do you like beer? never tried it, never will. it smells awful. have you ever drank tequila? no. who is your favorite actor? johnny depp! so talented! doughnut or twinkie? donuts have you ever called your best friend a bitch? not to her face. do you like poptarts or toaster strudels better?  toaster strudels have you ever encountered a shark while swimming in the ocean? no, thankfully. have you ever met someone who supports nazism?  no, thank christ. what’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had?  stomach virus what’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? "scp containment breach." i can't play it lol. when was the last time you took your pet to the vet? what was wrong with it? i'm pretty sure like a year or so ago because teddy had extremely rancid urine. do you have neat writing?  i actually do. is your writing pretty small or large? smallish do you have an album of your baby pictures?  yeah. last hickey was from?  jason are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? no. what is your favorite romance movie?  "the notebook" do you remember happy bunny?   lol yeah. would you like to have twins? ugh, no. would you rather give birth naturally or have a c-section? c-section. i legitimately do not believe i'd be able to give birth naturally, even with an epidural. does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? my older sister has my initial. what make up product do you never use?
 blush how long have you been sober? like a month. do you have a friend who you think is a sex addict? maybe. do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion? yes. and she wants to get a tattoo with her child's name and i am sorry, but i have a huge fucking problem with that. yeah, tattoo the name of someone you killed on yourself. do you like the state you live in? no. well, i don't like the area i live in. how is your ex doing? don't know, don't care. have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)? i've held mice, gerbils, rats, snakes, lizards, a tarantula, and i think i held a ferret before. are you anyone’s first love?  i don't think so. i'd at least hope jason loved rachel since they've had sex. how do you want to be proposed to? i don't really care, just something cute and sincere. would you rather use a crayon, a colored pencil, or a marker to color with? colored pencil. aren't self-pitying people just annoying?  i mean it really depends. there's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself, honestly. but if it's excessive, yes, it's annoying and unhealthy. do you have a fixed showerhead or is it removable? it's removable. Do you prefer paperback, hardcover, or permabound?  hardcover what's your favorite riff? probably something from metallica. maybe "king nothing," or maybe "orion." metallica has the best riffs. what was your favorite childhood nursery rhyme or tongue twister?  probably "the itsy-bitsy spider" what color is your mother's hair?  it's such a dark brown that it's essentially black what is the name of your computer?  mine's a sager, but the one i currently have to use is a toshiba if you have a world of warcraft character, what is its name? oh god, i have more than i'd like to admit lol... my main's alessandara, though. i also have avaanna, mecho, merihim, xymbya, papillon, uhhh... fuck dude i don't remember them all. fast or slow songs? fast forums or game sites? forums snowing or hailing? snowing. hail is scary. grunge or retro style? grunge when’s the next time you will consume alcohol?  i don't know. do you think people with legitimate addictions are pathetic, or do you understand them? they are in no way pathetic, but there's no way to "understand" someone with an addiction unless you've been through it yourself, which i haven't. have you ever actually felt an earthquake before? how bad was it? no. but one actually did happen back home while i was at the zoo once; we couldn't feel it there, though. literally EVERYONE at the zoo was getting phone calls about it. it was like everyone stopped at once. but anyway, it was super-duper minor; we don't get earthquakes in nc, really. like having one was a huge surprise. do you think country is all about whining about losing their truck, their dog, their wife/husband, etc.? just afuckingbout. yes, i am perfectly aware that not all songs are like that, but you can't tell me with a straight face that most aren't. do you think all pop songs are about partying, love and heartbreak? same answer as country. have you ever hallucinated?  i think i mildly did when i was coming off a certain medication. i saw moving shadows a lot in my periphery. which tv show have you seen pretty much every episode of? "meerkat manor," both iterations of "fullmetal alchemist," p much every episode of "that '70s show" i think, probably more... what's the name of the kid you babysit?  i don't actively babysit, but i watched our former neighbor's kid tapanga once. do you know how to play poker?  i used to. so, what is your house? gryffindor, hufflepuff, ravenclaw or slytherin?  i took a quiz once and it said i was like a precise mix of them all. what have you inherited from your dad’s side of the family?  pacing, maybe bipolarity. name something you’ve done that your parents don’t know about: i'd rather not. do little kids like you? apparently. they seem to. how long was your longest relationship? 3 1/2 years if someone is on your bad side what can they do to get on your good side? apologize and actually act sorry do you call anyone sir or ma'am?  i call everyone older than me sir/ma'am if a mother spends a lot of time online do you think she is neglecting her kids? i mean it depends. you can still take perfect care of your kids while spending a good amount of time online. have you ever had a ct scan? did you have to drink dye if it was on your stomach? i think... i can't remember if it was a ct scan or an mri when i had my concussion. have you ever dissected a frog or any other animal? a frog, yes. aaaand it turned out to be pregnant. me and my partner felt awful. why do people feel the need to have these huge, extravagant weddings? because it's a very exciting time, and people can celebrate it as big as they want? if you were a video game character, who would you be? probably heather mason from sh3. she reminds me a lot of myself. when I say "sexiest man alive", who do you think of? mark fischbach oboi who would you consider a very sexy woman? i don't find any woman "sexy" considering i'm straight, but the most attractive imo is hannah hart. she is sooo cute. have you ever made your communion? what about confirmation? i did both as a catholic what's one of the weirdest fears you have? whale sharks lmao what was your first word? "dada" do you have your genitals pierced? no, and i never would. do you have any tattoos that are hidden?  no. what friend of yours will read your responses to this entire survey? *shrugs* do you have any nervous habits?  i wring my hands really badly. when was the last time you had something with alcohol in it? when mom, nicole, and i went to olive garden and i had a strawberry-mango margarita. what compliment do you hear the most? "i love your hair" last funeral you attended was when? hmmm... i think miss lolita's mom... so a good few years ago. do you know anyone who hates to have their picture taken? yeah, me. what one word can piss you off instantly?  no word necessarily pisses me off alone, but there are some words i really don't like. what do you drink with breakfast? milk, usually. have you ever been hospitalized for more than a week?  yeah. do you remember the movie e.t.? i do; i used to love it. then all of a sudden the guys in the suits towards the end started to scare me lol any names your parents were thinking about that you would prefer?  no. i'm pretty sure mom was considering kathryn, but i don't really like the name. how many times have you said "i love you" to someone of the opposite sex [romantically] and meant it? to only one person about a billion times. how many times have you said it and not meant it?  none. if you won a $1,000 shopping spree to one store, what store would you want it to be?  rebel's market how old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?  i'm not sure. who taught you?  my dad. on the sex you are interested in, do you prefer muscles, average size, or scrawny bodies? average. what's the best gift you've ever received from a significant other?  uhhhh. i'm not sure. oh, probably the ring jason gave me on one of our anniversaries. do you like robin thicke? one of his songs isn't that bad. who was your last relative to pass away? my dad's mom, i think. do you have a nickname that you don’t enjoy? "twinkie" from mom ;-; do you enjoy chicken noodle soup? no. can you hula hoop? yeah. do you know someone who has lost their entire memory?  thankfully, no. i do know someone with dementia, though. have you ever been to an ocean and, if so, which one? the atlantic what’s your favorite sea creature?  dolphins, whales, seahorses which of your exes has your parents disliked? well i mean, they both liked jason, now neither of them can stand him. what’re your uncles’ names? oh god. i have a few. but the ones i remember are uhhh rob, and i think ricky. i know there's another. who’re your two closest friends?  sara, colleen what’s your favorite forest animal? deer, i suppose. do any of your friends only go by a nickname? girt, yes. i think his family calls him donald, though. have you ever been pressured to get married?  no. do you like pirates or mermaids better?  mermaids. what’s one thing you’re always reluctant to tell people?  oh god. do you like wearing your hair in braids? no. do you think your ancestors and heritage are important? not really. do you agree with traditional male and female roles? no. what’s the most amount of males you’ve lived with at one time? two. bobby lived with us for a while; he eventually went back to tennessee though because his father technically had custody of him. do you like dogs or foxes better? foxes. have you ever ran away from home?  briefly, yes. what crimes has your last or current significant other committed?  i don't know. if you were turned into a god or goddess, what would you be the god or goddess of? fangirling over youtubers and meerkats lmao do you like gargoyles?   yeah, they're cool. what show/concert do you want to attend next? i'm really really hoping mark decides to come to raleigh for he and the gang's show because ahhh i wanna go has anyone ever said they would die for you?  yeah. would you cut off your own pinky for one billion dollars? honestly, no. do you think it is awkward for people over sixteen to have sleepovers?  no? when do you plan on having kids or your next kid? never. last time you were drunk? i've never been really "drunk." closest was new year's though. voting for hillary? i didn't and i never would. i didn't vote for trump either, though. i hate them both. who's your favorite american idol judge? ahhhh who was that black guy that was in the original line-up. what pills do you take daily?  latuda, lamictal, prilosec, birth control. do you know any nurses personally?  yes, my sister, among others. do you look more like your mother or your father?  i've heard both. what sucks? a vacuum *high-fives self* at what age should a woman stop trying to conceive and why? once it's dangerous for her and the potential child what religion do you practice? creationist christianity how do you feel about war? it's very sad and entirely pointless are there some songs you can’t listen to because they remind you of something? not anymore. i used to not be able to listen to songs that reminded me of jason, but i can now. favorite south park character?  *shrugs* what provinces/states have you been in? uhhh. north carolina obviously, florida, new york, ohio, michigan, virginia, west virginia, maryland, pennslyvania, south carolina, georgia are you afraid of change? yes. is alcohol a common thing in your family? no more than the typical person in my immediate family, no. i don't know about distant relatives. who’s your favorite character from one of your favorite books?  dally in "the outsiders," and i don't really have one in "johnny got his gun" how many people do you live with? are these people related to you?  my mom and my little sister what is your favorite television show? why do you watch this show? "fullmetal alchemist," both versions. and because it's super-duper original, creative, and emotional. who is someone that you used to know, and miss?  megan, more than anyone. do you prefer black and white or color? depends. do you like wolves? yeah! how tall are you?  5'5'' do you overanalyze a lot?  only always. apples or oranges? apples. i don't like oranges. grapes or watermelon?  grapes. i also don't really like watermelon. do you have a birthmark, where? i don't think so. i've had some, but they just like. disappeared. would you call yourself a romantic person?  yes. what's the weirdest thing you ever did?  who the fuck even knows. do you own an instrument?  a flute and an electric guitar. have you ever fallen asleep in a significant other's arms? do you find that you fall asleep faster when accompanied by a significant other? yes, and no, actually. i need space. do you have any significantly older siblings? did they ever treat you as if you were their child?  half-siblings, yes. and no. do you like flea market shopping?  oh boy do i which side of the bed do you sleep on? usually to the left. ever had a funny mishap in the kitchen? please share. oh my god. one time me and jason were mock-fighting and i was storming in there to tell him off and i slipped hilariously, but he caught me, and we laughed for like ten minutes. one of my favorite memories. do you remember your dreams?  rarely. single forever with a great family or no family and your soulmate? honestly... that's really hard. i don't know. do you still have your baby blanket?  yeah. do you think pink floyd are overrated? no. i was never that big into them, though. do people say you have an accent? most of the time, no. sometimes people pick up on certain words, particularly my family in new york. what time were you born? either 11:20 or 11:30 am, i forget. if you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? maybe. do you use tumblr? what do you normally post?  my main blog is a rhett&link + markiplier trashcan, then i have a survey blog. ever seriously questioned your sanity?  multiple times. have you ever been in handcuffs? why? yes, because i was being transported to a mental hospital from the er. then when i was going to the court about my discharge date, but i was in full-body restraints then.  felt like a goddamn animal. would you consider naming your daughter penelope?  no, but i think it's a super-cute name. what do you think your mother thought when she first saw you after giving birth?  i don't know. but supposedly i saw her and immediately laughed and smiled so i'd hope something cute lol. what movie/show ‘emotionally scarred’ you as a kid? "courage the cowardly dog" lmao. who let that be a kids show? like i shit you not, king ramses terrified me. i had nightmares. i think i didn't like how he was animated differently compared to everything else. are your hobbies something you’d rather do alone or with others?  most of my hobbies i enjoy doing alone. is your favorite store spencers?  no, but i like it. where do you like to sit at the movie theater?  the middle what kind of alcohol do you tend to drink the most?  mike's hard is what i've had the most of. have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?  ew no. honestly grosses me out. is there a tv show or movie in which you’re incredibly emotionally attached to the characters? not really, but i guess if i had to pick, edward elric. oh, and dean winchester. do you have any health problems that are unusual for your age?  no. have you ever felt one of your parents were ashamed of you? yes. do you know someone who has had a stroke? probably. when do you want to get married? i don't have a particular age or whatever in mind. whenever it happens. what do you think of high school drop outs?  i personally believe everyone should finish high school, but i don't judge them. post a picture that makes you feel good about yourself.   this one.  it’s from my senior prom.  i miss being that small so, so much.

what helps you fall asleep?   daydreaming about happy shit. are you a decent singer?  no; my voice isn't steady.  the only thing i like about my singing voice is the fact i can change notes very quickly. which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on?   meerkats, "silent hill" which point in life do you think is hardest? (i.e. childhood, adulthood…)  teenage years how was life going for you, say, six months ago?   awful. can you lick your own elbow?  no. do you have moral objections to hunting?   if you're not going to use the meat, yes. can you remember the first video game you ever played?   probably the first of the "spyro the dragon" trilogy. drake or josh?   josh is bae is your dad getting bald?  no. would you ever get a tattoo on your leg?   yeah. when you're sick who takes care of you?  myself, mom sometimes. imagine your bf/gf proposes to you at a baseball stadium and they put it on national television. you don't want to get married at all. would you say yes to save him or her the embarrassment, then later break the truth to them?   honestly?  no.  that's a lie i'm not willing to tell. your friend's boyfriend is hitting on you, do you tell her?  yeah. would you ever get sleeves of tattoos?   dead-serious, i am seriously contemplating get a half-sleeve tattoo of a design that has my favorite youtubers' logos/whatever because youtubers are honestly my heroes. describe the darker side to your personality.   i can get unbelievably jealous and very hateful with one hell of a tongue if i'm pissed enough. what, without fail, makes you cry?  being yelled at. favorite spooky movie?   "blair witch project 2: book of shadows" or "the crazies" can you do math in your head well?   no.  i like physically can't. if there was a real jurassic park, would you visit it?   maybe.  i loooove dinosaurs. have you ever dressed like a goth?  yeah. do you have any friends whose first language is not english?  yes. what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?   getting to the point that i attempted suicide. if your boy/girlfriend wanted to have a sex change, would you support them?  honestly?  no.  i don't support transgenderism. would you want a ferret as a pet?  i do, but i don't think i'd be able to handle it.  i've heard they require much maintenance. do you watch any daily vloggers on youtube? who?   trainer tips, ali-a, and lachlan, but i don't watch any actively. what’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you?   my mental illnesses.  that's absolutely mandatory. where do/did you sit at lunch?   okay so this is like so clique-like, but the metalheads, goths, emos, scenes, or the like all sat together.  there was just a big blob of black lmao what’s the WORST show on adult swim?  ugh, "robot chicken," i think it's called.  i absolutely loathe it.  it is so remarkably immature. do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa?  my half-sister once did. how many times have you moved?   three have you ever caught a firefly?   yeah.  i used to do that all the time. do your boyfriend's friends like you?  i'm single, but i'm pretty sure my "main" ex's friends didn't like me, especially considering his best friend talked him into breaking up with me. do you cross your sevens?  yes. does your boyfriend know what you look like without make-up?   again, i'm single, but all my boyfriends have seen me without. last time slitting your wrist?  well this is an insensitive question and i really don't like it.  but whatever, it's been a long time. do you understand screamo and/or rap?  screamo, sometimes, rap, usually. highest level you have ever achieved in tetris?  oh my actual fuck, i hate tetris.  i can't do it.  i get WAY too stressed. favorite shade of green?   pastel green who is your favorite little mermaid character?   ursula do you have a favorite musician?   favorite musician in general?  ozzy osbourne. do you believe in past lives?   no. do you wear a ring on your finger?   i have a red ring with three crystals making a triangle on either side of it on my right ring finger. do you like seafood?   i like shrimp prepared in certain ways, and i had striper years ago, and i liked it. do you call your partner ‘baby’?   no, because i find it disrespectful. if you could go back in time, how far would you go?   i wouldn't go back to begin with. are you afraid of falling in love?   yes, but only because i'm afraid of getting hurt. was your last relationship a mistake?   yeah. are you insecure?   extremely. when was your last physical fight?   i've never been in a physical fight, but the closest i ever got was when the bitch i can't stand snatched my arm in high school and ended up bruising me. have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?   we've literally done so essentially all night multiple times. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?   i mean, not completely, but i'm sure he'd accept me if i did.  girt's amazing. ever caught the stove on fire?   no, but fun fact, that's how our second house burned down.  we'd already moved out, and the dumbasses moving into it put a damn box on the stove.  the entire interior of the house was burned to a crisp. what’s the last thing you and your sibling laughed about?   who knows.  we don't exactly laugh a lot.  probably like a month ago when we were all playing mario kart. do your parents approve of your beliefs?   yeah.  well, i don't think my mom agrees with me not being catholic, because she seemed kinda upset when i altered my beliefs a bit, but w/e.  OH.  she also hates the fact that i don't believe "profanity" is really a thing. how long ago did you make your current screen name?   oh wow, it's been "ozzkat" for literally years. what “older” bands do you listen to?   i listen to a lot of '70s and '80s metal bands, so tons. do you have a friend who tends to act pessimistic?   oh god, i have an acquaintance who is the most pessimistic person i've ever met.  like i don't mind pessimism in small doses, but she's just annoying. is there anyone who hates you?   probably. would you consider adoption?   i don't want kids, but if for any reason i suddenly did, yeah.  i plan on getting my tubes tied once i'm married anyway, because i don't even want to risk kids.  i just shouldn't be a mother, even if i end up wanting children. how do you wear your makeup?   i rarely wear foundation, i always wear eyeliner, i'll usually put on black eye shadow, then i'll occasionally wear black lipstick. how many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?   if you're talking about all the people who have ever had the "boyfriend" title, four.  but the only one that was even remotely serious was jason. would you rather be buried or cremated when you die?   hmmm.  maybe buried.  well... or cremated.  i think it'd be really cool to be used as a fertilizer for a tree. what is your favorite thing to drink? alcoholic and non alcoholic?   my favorite alcoholic thing i've drunk so far are margaritas, but i don't have much experience to judge from.  non-alcoholic, mountain dew bc i'm awful. have you ever had a friend that you found extremely annoying but put up with anyway?   probably. peaches or plums?  plums.  i don't really like peaches. have you used limewire before?  years upon years ago. do you think you are paranoid?   i'm aware i am. have you ever wished someone was dead?  i have before, but i don't anymore. are hairy legs on women really overrated?  i honestly don't care if you shave your legs or not.  i personally have to because i'm too self-conscious and i feel weird if i don't, but whatever.  do it if you want to. do you think you will outlive everyone in your immediate family?   probably not.  my sisters are healthier than me in many ways. have you ever eaten wild berries?   yeah.  our old house had muscadine grapes that grew in the backyard every couple years. which of your friends has the best name?  alon. name a band you think are overrated:   twenty one pilots.  i only like one song by them, and just overall, i really don't think they're that good. shrek one or shrek two?   i actually like the second more. how similar is your current life to what you once imagined it would be at this moment (e.g., "i never imagined that i would have children at this age, but here i am!")?  i thought i'd still be jason.  i thought i'd be moved out by now.  i thought a lot of things. in any of your areas of interest, is there a certain theory, viewpoint, or scholar that you tend to disagree with, even if it is popular among others? if no fields of interest come to mind, is there a line of advice that you disagree with, but is popular with others?   meerkats: i don't agree that they make good pets.  markiplier: i firmly disagree with the theory that he's secretly bisexual or gay, as he's addressed it and said he wasn't.  rhett&link: i highly disagree with the idea that they're homophobic, considering they've had multiple lgbt crew members.  silent hill: i definitely disagree with the theory that lisa was a ghost the whole time, she was just in denial about her condition. what do you predict will happen to humanity in the future, with the imminence of global warming's destruction of the planet? e.g., there's no hope or we will leave the planet, etc. "the imminence of global warming's destruction of the planet"?   well i mean as a christian, i believe it'll be more of an apocalyptic situation versus a natural issue. do you know anyone named brianna?   my first best friend was named brianna.  i also know another one. what's your mom's maiden name?   kuhnle ("kyoon-lee") did you ever watch sailor moon?   a little bit.  my older sister loved it, though.  she legitimately had the little wand thing and used to sing and dance to the theme song lmao what was the most vicious pet you ever owned?   oh my god, hamsters.  i don't like them. have you ever seen "charlotte's web"?  yeah.  i used to love that movie. are you anyone's hero?  i doubt that. who has the biggest eyes that you know of?   this one girl that was in my band class.  i don't remember her name, but her eyes were sooo pretty. is there any song that makes you think of your dad?   "sweet child o' mine" by guns n' roses.  if i ever get married, i want that to be the father/daughter dance. brown rice or white rice?  white.  i don't like brown. are pregnant women wearing bikinis attractive to you?   well, i'm not attracted to women, so... which planet has the best name?  i think "pluto" is a cute name. have you ever picked fruit?   yeah.  true story, when i was little, my family went to a strawberry field, and instead of picking them, i legitimately ate every one i got.  my strawberry love started young lmao.  the owners were really nice though and didn't make my mom pay. did your parents give you the sex talk or did you hear it from a friend?  i learned from family life in the 5th grade. what is one pro of living where you do, and what is one con?   there aren't many pros, honestly... but i assume it's nice that we're not a target for international violence?  con, there's legitimately noooothing to do. what is your favorite episode of your favorite tv show?   "fullmetal alchemist," not sure.  but oh my god, "that '70s show," it's totally the one where donna finds panties in eric's room and it totally goes downhill.  my mom and i can't help but laugh every time at "ERIC!  YOU ARE A GOD!" if you identify with any political party, are any of your views contrary to what that party believes?   i claim myself as independent because i don't fully agree with either party. does having others watch you do things make you uncomfortable? what sorts of things make you extremely uncomfortable if you are watched while doing them? are there any things that give you confidence to do if you have an audience?  do.  fucking.  NOT.  watch me do essentially anything.  don't watch me on the computer, don't watch me writing, don't watch me draw, DON'T.  FUCKING.  WATCH ME. does someone in your house speak a different language on a regular basis?   no. what’s the shortest amount of time you think you could date someone before deciding to marry them, assuming you want to marry?   like three years. are you familiar with junie b. jones books?  YAAAAS MY CHILDHOOD when was the last time you "read" an "i spy" book?  GUUUUUUURL I LOVED THAT SHIT AS A KID.  we actually had two computer games of it and nicole and i played it ALL the time. what was your elementary school’s mascot?   a bulldog. who’s your favorite author:   probably christie golden, who wrote a lot of the wow books.  she was very descriptive. do you call your friends pet names like "hun" and "girlie"?  yes.  i'm very much for words of endearment with my friends. what's the best christmas present you've ever got?  my dog<3  mom put dog food underneath the christmas tree at the very back. do your parents give you an allowance?   no.  we can't afford that. have you ever had acne or bad spots?   my acne was pretty moderate in middle and high school. what do you think of cradle of filth?   OH MY GOOOOD A SURVEY WITH MY BABES.  i love them, they're one of my favorites!  they and otep have the best lyrics. which of your pets was the last to die?   my rats, i think. do you like action hero movies?  usually, yes. what was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild?   just like opposums and raccoons... nothing crazy what is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had?   meerkats, i assume.  no one really knows what they are. have you ever been a part of a threesome?   no, and i never would be. what is your boyfriend’s favorite video game?   i'm single, but i'll answer for my exes.  i know jason's is "castlevania: symphony of the night," and i'm at least pretty sure tyler's was "spyro the dragon: ripto's rage" do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer?  yes.  mom (kidney), grandma (thyroid), aunt (breast), and i wouldn't be surprised if there was more. who is the most overall unpleasant person you've ever met?   rachel from high school and an old internet "friend" we called shakes. how much weight have you gained in the last 5 years?   i'd rather not even begin to imagine.  five years ago, i was around 120.  abilify destroyed me.  do not under any condition go on it. when is the next time you will see your grandma?   when she gets married.  she's getting married to a man she's known for a long time, but never actually dated.  you can only IMAGINE how i feel about that. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?   no. what year were you born in?  1996 have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C?   i actually think so. what do you think of college, overall?  not for everyone, and WAY too fucking expensive. do you think you'll be married in ten years?  i mean it'd be nice, but i won't pitch a fit if i'm not. how many guys have felt you up?   one. do your hands shake a lot?   yeah.  i have an essential tremor.  it's gotten worlds better since i got off all those meds, though. do you want to move out of your current house any time soon and why or why not?   no.  my family just moved here, and i'm by no means ready to live on my own. when was the last time you played a board game and who did you play with?   months ago when i played scrabble with mom and girt. ever have a drug overdose? what did you od on exactly?   i don't want to talk about this. ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? what was it for?   yeah.  i had an imbalance of something in my liver, so it had to be checked.  turned out nothing was wrong. what is your go to flavor of salad dressing?   ranch. what’s one halloween candy that you would hate getting as a child?  tootsie rolls.  i still hate them. would you say you have an addictive personality?   YES.  YES.  i am very easily addicted to things.  it's partially why i avoid drugs and drinking very much. who do you take for granted?   i guess no matter how hard i try not to, i'll always at least somewhat take my mom for granted. have you ever been to the hospital for something really serious?   i'd call a suicide attempt and self-mutilation pretty serious. do you have any famous relatives?  no, unless you're talking about ancestors. have you ever been searched by the cops?   every time i've been to the er and hospital, they have to.  but not like a full-body search or anything, you just have to go through a metal scanner. where were you born?   rocky mount, nc (sharing city only because i don't live there anymore, so w/e) if you die, do you ever worry that your penpal/online/long distance friends might never find out about it?   OH MY GOD YES weight and height on your birth certificate:  pretty sure i was seven pounds; i don't know about height. most annoying thing people tell you?  "there's something on your lip" lmao favorite celebrity couple (past or present)?   M A R K  A N D  A M Y do you play pokemon go?   very, VERY rarely.  it is almost impossible to play where i live unless you want to invest money, because there usually aren't pokestops for miles because it's so rural, so you never have pokeballs. favorite game character?   pyramid head from the "silent hill" franchise and vol'jin from wow would other people consider your sense of humor inappropriate?  rarely, but sometimes. what is your phone background?   my lock screen is a kawaii as actual fuck edit of mark fischbach, and my home screen is a picture of pyramid head in the "white hunter" style. out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first?   brain, maybe.  but they all need to go.