#OH BTW if you notice any weird errors PLEASE tell me!!!!!

[henriiiii-1001old]

pt two to this

i am weirdly thinking of making this a series who's with me. like i already have a semi plot for this. not sure if i'm gonna make this an au or not, but we'll see

this one also ended up being a lot longer than the other one i think uuuhhh yeah :/ oops

fic/technical spoilers under the cut

(quick warning for mentions of suicide as well as general angst)

The aroma of freshly made coffee scattered around the barren Mandela County police station. Adam sat patiently at the high table near the counter for his own portion as Thatcher poured the brew into two separate mugs. The smaller one was for Thatcher, though he was scared of caffeine suddenly being able to reveal alternates’ true forms. Maybe he could consult his roommate for that.

Thatcher carefully took both mugs over to where Adam sat, placing his cup in front of him softly as to not spill the contents. The last thing he’d want is for Adam to be upset, especially in regards to the previous night. They had slept comfortably in some sleeping bags Thatcher had luckily found in the storage area. Adam had practically begged to sleep next to him, as embarrassed and humiliated he felt as he did, but Thatcher reassured him that he’d be happy to comfort him in any way. The night passed with Thatcher feeling like a new man.

“Good?” Thatcher asked, waiting for a comment of his craft.

“Yeah, definitely better than how my old friend used to make it,” Adam replied. Thatcher noticed his inflection change when he said the word “friend,” and as much as he wanted to pry - and imply - about it he knew this was not the time or place to do so.

“So, you feeling okay?”

Adam tensed before replying. “Sort of. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again, but… Yeah.”

Thatcher hummed in understanding and nodded. He took a sip of his own creation before swallowing it and sighing in relief. The only sound filling the room after that were quiet sips of coffee and anxious tapping of their mugs. Adam also tugged and rubbed furiously at the blanket he had wrapped around himself for warmth and comfort. Since he had become attached to Thatcher’s touch so quickly, the blanket was just the next best thing so he wouldn’t be too clingy.

“May I, um, ask about last night?” Thatcher worded carefully as to not upset Adam too much. “I-it’s okay if you’re not ready. I just-”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll try to explain to the best of my abilities,” Adam interrupted, trying to seem genuine since emotions had been difficult for him.

“This all kinda started a few days ago. Me and my… colleague, Jonah, were out doing something for a client. We were supposed to stay there for three whole nights, $500 a night. Can you even believe that? Like, who ever would have thought it was some elaborate trap to have you stick yourself in a basement to hear some shit that doesn’t even make sense? Even from your own mouth?”

Thatcher stared at him utterly confused. Adam had only noticed after a few moments of silence.

“Moving on from that since I’m jumping a bit too far ahead, we had a few disagreements on the place; my colleague wanted to leave but I had a sort of connection to the place somehow. I had even gone there once before with Sarah, in which after that whole thing I had to get my colleague as my new ghost hunting partner.”

“And your colleague was Jonah Marshall, was it not?”

Adam went dead silent. Thatcher got his answer from that.

“Understood. Uh, go on if you’re good with that.”

“Yeah… um, well. We kinda got into a huge fight on the second day, in which he brought up my mother and I just. Told him to leave if he really wanted to not be there. And he… did.

"I went down into that fucking basement expecting something amazing to happen. Something like my mom coming back or some shit. Nothing happened. All I got was more questions and a pissy attitude, which led me to just go searching for J- my colleague myself.”

Thatcher eagerly listened as Adam poured everything he had remembered, paying attention to every time his voice faltered and gave way to his true emotions. He even almost mentioned Jonah, which definitely confirmed Thatcher’s suspicions by that point.

“I found him by the car he stole earlier that day. Dead. I was too deep in an angry, nonhuman frenzy that I just took the car and left, not even shedding a proper tear for him.

Sarah and I had a fight about him, leading her to make me make some stupid memorial video for him. I didn’t wanna think about it, I didn’t wanna do it. I felt horrible, and her making me do that only made things worse. And I even logged off for a few hours after that because I just couldn’t handle it.

“And then he showed up.”

Thatcher perked up. Who’s “he” , he thought to himself, ever so curious as to what Adam could be alluding to.

“He… was the one who told me everything. Started rambling off about how he ‘held me in his arms’ or some dumb shit. I didn’t understand at first, but whatever he did to me made me feel so numb and lifeless. I couldn’t move. Not until he said… He…. told me…”

“Hey, you’re okay. If it’s too heavy for you, you can-”

“I’m not the real me.”

Thatcher held his tongue and listened. It was the only thing he could do as he was too far deep. He couldn’t get Adam’s now black eyes off of him, staring directly into his soul it seemed. Adam looked like he didn’t even breathe to speak his next words, staring Thatcher down like prey.

“He told me I was one of them. If Sarah hadn’t cut the bitch off I would have gotten more answers. But someone always has to stand in my way, don’t they, Lieutenant? ”

Thatcher stared into the orbs that occupied Adam’s sockets, frozen in place as panic rose within his body. He couldn’t move; no matter how much the training had taught him to fight, he could never push himself to. He could only pray that Adam didn’t do this all to kill him, that would just be absurd, right?

“Davis?”

A breath was taken that Thatcher didn’t know he needed. He blinked a few times to ground himself to his surroundings once more. He was still staring at Adam, but his eyes had returned to normal. He sighed in relief.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me…” Adam began to bury himself in his hands, curl into another ball and cry the embarrassment and shame away.

“No! No, no, no, no you’re okay, kid,” Thatcher quickly tried reassuring him, his body ready to hold Adam again at any time in case he needed a quick cooldown.

“I panicked, I… I didn’t know how to process everything, I tried killing myself in so many ways… None of them FUCKING WORKED!”

Adam’s form began to blur as his skin melted, his eyes and mouth becoming more prominent features on his face. His limbs began to elongate themselves again, and his skin even turned even paler than he already was. Thatcher dashed to the other side of the table, cradling Adam’s torso and head into his own. He softly ran his hands through the alternate’s hair, soothing him the best he could.

“Adam, please don’t be upset with yourself right now. I know you can’t control it, and I understand how painful it must be to have your whole identity stripped from you.”

“HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! ” Adam screamed, his voice echoing throughout the station’s walls and back into the current room.

“The same night your mother died I almost lost my life to one of those things!”

Adam suddenly grew quiet, whimpers and sniffles being the only sound emitted from him as he slowly looked up at Thatcher.

“Her husband called me, asking for help… I should have known it was a trap. I lost a friend too, the only one I could trust. I left her behind to rot in that fucking house… I wouldn’t doubt she’s still there, waiting to exact her revenge on me.

"I couldn’t tell if I was a person anymore after I encountered that thing in the tunnels below Mandela. It took my face, my voice, my mannerisms, everything , and left me there to suffer. I went home that night feeling stalked, haunted, as I have been for the past 17 fucking years. If anyone on this fucking planet knows how you feel, it’s me. And I’m sorry that it has to be me…”

Neither had any words for the next few minutes, Adam shifting in and out of his human and alternate forms before settling on a mix of both. He wasn’t sure how he ended up like that, but he’d just deal with it later like he did all his problems. Thatcher suddenly carefully dropped his head onto Adam’s head, covering his face in the blonde’s curly hair.

“You knew her… ” Adam whispered, his voice wavering slightly.

“Not really. Barely got to even take her body for examination before I got chased out of that damn house.”

“Do you remember anything else from that night?”

Adam took his turn asking for Thatcher’s suffering as he had already explained his. And Thatcher reluctantly answered, lifting his head out of Adam’s hair before speaking.

“Kinda, I remember first walking into the room and seeing some creepy fucking guy on a TV on the floor before it immediately disappeared. Don’t know what that guy wanted or if he was even real at all.”

Adam’s eyes widened; he recognized the figure Thatcher was talking about. He just needed more info. “Do you remember what he looked like?”

“Not really, uuhh. Short and dark hair, permanent smile on his bastard ugly face, looked kinda creepy.”

“Did he look like some sort of weird entertainment guy?”

Thatcher paused. “…Yeah.”

Adam stared at Thatcher dead in the eyes once more but with a look more recognizable as confusion and concern than disdain. Silence filled the room once more, a common pattern between the pair at this point. Speaking so much they end up oversharing followed by a deafening silence as they process every word that was said. This time, however, neither party knew how to advance the conversation.

“Um, we’ll talk more later. Need more coffee?” Thatcher asked to break the silence, following his question with an awkward but reassuring smile.

Adam nodded and smiled back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night came as fast as it left, the day being spent through joint work on cases that Thatcher suddenly gained the energy to look into once more, joking around with each other, a few video games in which Thatcher almost always lost, and staying in each other’s general company. After a whole range of emotions displayed by the duo throughout the day, both were spent and needed a nice, long sleep to prepare for the following day.

Adam had once again wanted to sleep next to Thatcher, and Thatcher gladly obliged. He felt that Adam was becoming too dependent on him too quickly, but he didn’t want to upset him at the current moment. Thankfully, the alternate fell asleep almost instantly, being overwhelmed with exhaustion with everything he’s had to deal with the past few days - hell his entire life. Thatcher himself was preparing to shut down for the night as well, making himself comfortable next to Adam and ensuring that Adam was also comfortable in his current position facing Thatcher.

“Wait.”

A voice… An actual voice called to him. It seemed dark and raspy, almost as if it was struggling to breathe.

“What…?” Thatcher squinted his eyes in reaction to the intruder. He darted his eyes around the room somewhat quickly to try and scan the area for any potential threats.

“Follow the static, Thatcher. Or if you’d prefer, the music. We have some things to discuss.”

A recording of a music box suddenly filled Thatcher’s ears, almost hypnotizing him to follow its melody. However, Thatcher quickly grabbed a small pocket knife he always kept handy before venturing out into the darkness, a sense of déjà vu hitting him.

He followed the strange melody to where he believed the source would be: his work computer. He carefully took a seat in the almost uncomfortable office chair as he stared into a blank, static filled screen, something he had only seen on old analog TV’s. He didn’t even notice that the music had faded or that a face had appeared on the screen until it started speaking.

“A song made for the girl lost in a land of wonder and inexplicable magic and absurdity, ruby slippers holding more power than any being in that dimension. A song describing how desperately she wished for a better life no matter that her life had been mundane at worst. A song that my son liked very much,” the voice began as if it were making a speech just for Thatcher to hear. It made him shiver at the thought.

“The slippers were meant to be silver, however, though they would seem dull against the colorful atmosphere of the set. My little boy never cared, his caretakers only put it on once to distract the little one before realizing he was entirely captivated by it. Who knew he would react so much when I played it for him again years later?”

“Who are you? What do you want? Why are you talking so much?” Thatcher inquired, anger rising with each question that slipped off his tongue.

“Simple, Lieutenant. I’m Adam’s father.”

The statement boiled Thatcher’s blood for reasons even he did not understand at the moment. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disgust as he tried to search for words. The figure interrupted him before he could try to put together a single cohesive sentence in his mind.

“I’m the one that took him away. Although, it would have been for the greater good anyway. His caretakers never truly loved him, did they?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The man especially became more absent than the woman, though it’s quite ironic that she was meant to leave this plane of existence before him. The boy’s birth was a joint effort, but one must take more blame than the other, of course. It’s only human nature to push blame onto one party rather than accept the truth of reality. Which is quite funny considering-”

“Stop fucking jumping around everywhere and get to the damn point!”

“Ssshhhhh , you don’t want to wake him up now, do you?”

Thatcher went silent, biting his lip furiously before backing down completely. He looked away, malice burning in his eyes.

“Good. I’ve simply come here to warn you about what you’re doing. We’ve kept tabs on him to make sure someone doesn’t interrupt his ascension into reaching his full potential, his assimilation to become one of us .”

Thatcher felt suffocated by the atmosphere, wanting to back away from his monitor while the static kept him snugly in place, urging him to reach closer to it instead. He couldn’t move, and his breath felt hindered when nothing was stopping its regular flow.

“You… you’re the one who told him…” Thatcher choked out, his words careful and choppy.

“Indeed. Perhaps you remember me? It’s been a long while since I have seen your face, Mr. Davis.”

“Stop switching up how you call me, please just stick to one. And yes, I most likely do.”

“Would this give you a reminder, Thatcher?” the figure’s face warped spontaneously, and his voice changed alongside it. It sounded more cheery, more charismatic. It made Thatcher sick to his stomach when he fully realized he truly had been talking to who he thought he was.

“Yes… it does,” Thatcher practically breathed out. “And I hate it.”

“Good! I was worried it wouldn’t. Then something would reeaaally be wrong with you! However,” its face and voice returned to its previous state, “my warning still stands. We do not need people like you ruining his only chance to join us once again. To become a family.”

Thatcher slammed his palms against his work desk, standing up as he fumed with anger. “You are NOT his family! You things don’t care about people!”

“But he isn’t a person. Why would you care for something as dangerous to your kind as he is?”

“He’s not dangerous; he’s confused, he’s scared, he’s hurt. You hurt him, and he clearly hasn’t accepted the thought of being lied to his entire life, suddenly having his identity stripped away from him sending him into a spiral down through the deepest parts of Hell! I care because that’s human nature, you heartless fuck!”

The screen glitched for a mere moment, revealing the face had disappeared. The static still remained, however, sending Thatcher into a slight panic.

A hand had swiped him from behind, bringing him close to an itchy textured body. The hand’s texture alone threatened to slice Thatcher’s throat at any minute, almost puncturing his skin.

“I told you to be quiet, did I not? If you truly do not wish to hurt him, I suggest you shut your mouth before I make you, ” the figure threatened, squeezing the blood flow traveling to Thatcher’s head to make him feel faint very quickly. Thatcher nodded his head frantically.

“If I killed you right here, would it be too similar to your beloved 'guardian angel’s’ death?” it chuckled, the thought amusing it while only confusing Thatcher.

“How do you…”

“I watched the entire encounter. She died right in front of you, you know. The thing that followed you home hid the blood on his hands for 17 whole years. The blood of your angel coughing up the last bit of her life, his hands squeezing so tight her head almost popped out of place, her voice begging for mercy as she watched her murderer transform into you, making her believe you had betrayed her, all of which happened right before your very eyes.”

Thatcher squirmed, he couldn’t take any more of this thing’s rambling. What was worse was that the grip on his neck only became tighter. He began to try and slam his hands into the figure holding him hostage, pleading for it to release him.

“My final point is that if you mess with his head any more than you have, I’ll find a way to work around your necessity to Him and kill you myself.”

Thatcher was released, being pulled down into his seat to let him recover. The chair moved slightly away from the monitor due to the force, and Thatcher’s head was practically spinning without even spinning the chair. He took several deep breaths before the assailant spoke once more, now in front of him and out of the monitor.

“Or maybe you’d consider a compromise?”

Thatcher darted his eyes to the alternate, still slightly in a daze. “What…? Compromise?”

“I won’t have to kill you if you give him up. We’ll go our separate ways, and if He needs you to be in Adam’s presence again then you’ll know. Or maybe…”

The figure began stepping closer to its current victim, careful in not approaching him too quickly for its own liking. Thatcher followed its eyes as the distance between them shortened and shortened. Once it felt it was close enough, it leaned down to Thatcher’s face, revealing itself in full disgusting glory.

“We could raise him together?”

Thatcher’s heart sank. The skin moved in an unsettling manner, making Thatcher’s own skin crawl. The eyes were mismatched completely, one seeming to have popped out of its socket while the other would have been considered more of a lazy eye if Thatcher didn’t feel like he was being stared down by a predator. Its mouth was probably the most disturbing part, moving slightly slower than how it was speaking and sometimes dragging out certain sounds. The words came out so clean from its mouth, and yet it was like its mouth couldn’t keep up. Kind of like Adam when he screamed in agony…

Every part of him was screaming at him to run, to get Adam and take him far away from this county, from this state, from this whole damn country if he had to. But the fear - and the static - kept him in place to his dismay. He was trapped, required at that point to entertain the monster’s ideas.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice almost inaudible to how much he was shaking. He cursed internally at himself for that.

“You wouldn’t have to worry about death. You could be able to protect him while also helping him achieve his purpose. You could still be there for him. I could see the hope in your eyes every time he smiled. That’s how I was when I first held him in my arms.”

“But… I don’t understand. What would you want from me?”

“You could become one of us.”

Just from that sentiment, Thatcher realized what it meant: they’d replace him with the demon that followed him home. This thing expected him to be that stupid, huh? Was this also part of the other voice’s test? A test of resilience and intelligence? Part of him didn’t want to know, but he did know his answer to the question he was asked.

“No. To Hell with that,” he asserted, his voice deep and quiet as to heed the alternate’s previous warning. “I know what games you’re playing, and I’m not stupid if that’s what you think of me. You’re gonna have to think twice if you think you can deceive me .”

In that instant, the intruder retreated to the monitor, a look of disappointment trying to settle on its face.

“We’ll see when He puts his plan into play. I shall see you soon. Oh, and tell Adam his dear father, Stanley, says hello. Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

And with that, it was gone. The monitor shut off, the static was gone, and Thatcher was alone. He suddenly became so fatigued from having to rely on the static’s influence to keep him awake now that it disappeared. He slumped into his office chair and fell into a deep slumber, hoping that the voice from before didn’t interrupt his sleep once more.

[thatonepikminperson]

Alright, I'm revamping this intro post, let's god damn go baby

Hi welcome to this blog, it's gonna be Pikmin focused because why not. The posts will range from art to text posts to posts about the game because I can. hehe haha.

I have two blogs, btw

@thatonepikminperson: HEY THAT'S THIS BLOG WHAT? A blog about and for Pikmin and maybe ocs if I feel like it

@thatonepikminpersonsreblogblog: A blog for reblogging stuff.

Some tags you might like here are

#pikmin : All Pikmin things are in this tag

#mixed wraith au : Yes I have one of those, which is just fun side project

#ao3 / #fanfic : Oh yeah, and I'm a writer. I'm the author of Between the Ground and the Stars series, along with Over and Over again, until SOMETHING Breaks. If you want to check them out, these two tags will take you there. (Account name is the same as this blogs name)

#art : A tag for art lets go baby

#pikmin 4 : I mainly do Pikmin 4 art, and posts, be aware

#ask : Just in case I get an ask, it will be tagged with this. Yippee, interaction with people!

#reblog : If I do reblogs on this account (which is rare) then they will have this tag!

#clip : For any videos that I have

#gaming : for well, gaming related posts

#Again and Again Until Someone Changes / AAUSC : Yeah so I have a comic based off of my Over and Over Until SOMETHING Breaks fic, where it's just stuff that 100% happened before the breaking of the time loop.

#birthday posts : Any time it’s September 7th, this shall get some new posts

#trigger- : I think this works. If you don't like blood, murder, body horror and death, then this tag will not be for you!

#not pikmin : mainly used for ocs of mine, that are not pikmin ocs but also other random shit

Uh, other things about me:

I'm very not serious, if you can't tell

I don't like to be called my name on the internet, it's just a bit too weird for me, so you can call me PikminPerson, or something like that. Also She/her.

I am dogshit at English. It's my first language, but I'm still dogshit at it. Please excuse any spelling errors, I suck at writing words sometimes and don't notice.

I do have a reddit account (That I'd like to not share), but I just want all of the crazy people of Pikmin know, I have witnessed the war crimes that happen on the Pikmin sub reddit. I have been here since I believe a while before the Whiptongue Bulborb war (The first one). I wasn't there for the birth of the we are farmers image, but I did watch One Winged Pikmin be born into this world. Along with Fiddlebert. And Twerking Olimar at Times New Square. Hot damn I love this community sometimes

You can ask me things about Pikmin, or other series that I like,

Which are Splatoon, Hollow Knight, Tomodachi Life, Slime Rancher, Hatsune Miku Project Diva, Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage, and Deltarune (There's more that I'm forgetting, but these are the big ones)

Favorite game is probably 4, 3 is a close one tho (My order from fav to least fav: Pikmin 4, Pikmin 3/Pikmin 3 Deluxe, Pikmin 1, Pikmin 2, Pikmin Bloom (if that counts lol), That One Nintendo Land Pikmin Game, and Hey, Pikmin!) (2 isn't a bad game, it's just not my cup of tea. The music slaps tho)

Yes I have played Hey, Pikmin! and while it's not a good Pikmin game, it's a pretty decent game (You get me? Like, it's a decent game with a pretty good concept, the formula just doesn't work in the Pikmin series.)

I have cried when playing every Pikmin game, some when I was a child. I did cry at both the Pikmin 3, and Pikmin 4 credits. Shut up, it was wonderful dude

I still almost tear up at the Pikmin 3 credits. Dude that shit is sad for some reason idk why

I also did cry at the trailer for Pikmin 3 Deluxe and both of Pikmin 4's. I love this series if you can't tell.

My favorite type is Yellow, if you can't tell

And finally, I have beaten Pikmin 3 so many times on the Wii U, I got so bored that I did a 1 type of fruit a day challenge. I did it. I lived. It was funny as hell. I have made that game beg for mercy and the Plasm Wraith has become my play thing. (I love 3 so much lmao)

Anyway, enjoy your stay at the insanity inn, mints are on the left.

[ahtsumu]

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu​! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

“He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y’know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving. 

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

[im-hqlover]

DT - Fallen Kingdom - Mistakes

(Aww, i love this gif so much! Btw the gif doesn't belong to me)

A/n - Okay, I know this is totally random, but after re-watching the movie Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I was really looking forward to writing this, and to explain some things this is part of the same series of Dinosaur Trainer fanfics, but in the future. Why did I write this instead of writing chapter 2? I don't know, I just wanted to write something that happened in the Fallen Kingdom movie, and so as not to lose inspiration I wrote. 

Some things will only make sense to me, and it will only make sense to you after I write more about the story. (I swear I’ll try to write Chapter 2 soon, and do them in the right order, and not jump into the past and then into the future, but I told myself that whenever I have an idea to write, I should write, if not later I will never be able to write this again, so here it is.)  

Btw, I also wanted something angst and fluff, because I don't know, I like to write / read with this combination of angst and fluff, am I weird? Maybe ¯ \ _ (ツ) _ / ¯ 

But I hope you like it! Oh, and the dinosaurs I censored the name of the species, because I still want it to be a surprise that I intend to reveal only in chapter 3, then xxxxxxxxxxx is the fusion of the dinosaur that y/n trains together with another one that I will not reveal yet 🤭😁, you will understand what I mean, especially with future chapters, so I’ll leave it to your imagination which dinosaur it is. Enjoy! See you in the final notes!

Warnings: Spoilers, almost death by dinosaur, mentions of miscarriage, crying (a lot), angst, "cheated", dino death ;-;, fight, possible english errors, maybe other things that I'm forgetting... let me know if you find something I need to warn that I forgot.

(oh, and Claire isn't very nice here, so if you like her, sorry. not sorry)

Pairing: Owen Grady x Pregnant!Reader

Y/n = Your name

Words count: 4783

Previous chapters: One

Next chapters: Maybe not that soon xD

Synopsis: A few months after the Jurassic World incident, Owen and y / n get married, and decide that they would live on the roads for a long time, until they met a small town in northern California, and decided to start building their own house in a beautiful place. Everything was going well, more than well, everything was perfect, well, at least until y/n finds out she's pregnant, at first she was afraid to tell her husband about the news, but when she takes courage and she decided that she would find a cute way to tell him about it, they get a call about saving the surviving dinosaurs from Isla Nublar, and were visited by Claire, who insisted that they go to save the dinosaurs, y/n really wanted to save Rain, one of the surviving dinosaurs she trained, and she knew she couldn't tell Owen that she was pregnant because she knew he would never let her go. What could go wrong?

Taglist:  If you want to be part of my taglist, please let me know!

Y/N's INFO:

Gender: Cis-Female

Sexuality: Straight 

Height: Short 

Weight: Not Defined 

Skin Color: Not Defined 

Hair Color: Not Defined 

Eyes Color: Not Defined

Other details? Y/n is myopic

(I hope I have put all the information, let me know if I forgot something)

[...]

I was in a corner of the dark room watching Rain and the Xxxxxxxxxxx, they seemed to be communicating, making grunts, and Rain seemed to make the same sounds as when she cried, and it was breaking my heart, I was so scared, and probably Rain would die anytime and I would be helpless, and so I would die for that mutant being. 

The Xxxxxxxxxxx looks at me, and approaches slowly, my breath started to accelerate and the tears kept flowing, I bit my lip holding my hiccups with the dinosaur's proximity, she looks at me and I swallow, she touches the hand that was on my belly and snorts, she closed eyes for a second before grunting, the same grunt that Rain did when I approached her there in the truck. 

I really wanted to know what they talked about, how the hell was the dinosaur that seconds ago was trying to kill me, it was there next to me, touching my stomach, I just hoped it wasn't something she was doing before killing me, but luckily she did nothing against me, and so when the lights came back on, she lifted her head and grunted, turning and walking away. 

I walk towards Rain, and I see that her breath was failing a lot, I sit next to her, placing my hand on her neck, and she growled quietly, more and more tears start to fall and I hear a very loud scream coming from somewhere, but I looked again at the albino dinosaur when she groans in pain. 

- I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but I don't know... - My voice comes just above the whisper, Rain opens her blue eyes and grunts one last time, until her body stops moving. - Rain!

I scream her name softly and bend down, placing my face on the scaly skin, letting the tears fall. I get up on wobbly legs, I couldn't stay there with her dead, so I walked to the nearest doors and opened it, entering a room where it looked like an exhibition place, but it was all a mess, I hear voices and walk towards it, just to see Owen and Claire kissing. 

My already broken heart seemed to have been trampled to dust, I let a sob leave my lips with the scene, and because of that Owen looks at me with wide eyes, I run towards one of the corridor, just to get out of there as soon as possible, I hear my husband's voice in the distance calling my name, but I kept running, not looking back, until I reached the main door, leaving the Lockwoods' mansion, where raindrops wet my entire body. 

My body shivers when I hear the sound of a grunt coming from a high place, and when I turn around, I see that on top of the roof there was a dinosaur, I thought that maybe it was Xxxxxxxxxxx, but its shape was different, so maybe it was other, but I couldn't identify which one it would be. 

I see it coming down the roof, entering through a window, and in a short time I hear the sound of gunshots, followed by dinosaur grunts and human screams, and then through the same window that that dinosaur came in, I see two people leave, but I couldn't identify who it was. 

I start to follow them across the floor, as I follow them, I hear more grunts and screams, in addition to the sound of glass breaking. The two people went to a glass ceiling, and I tried to identify who it was, but I couldn't see well, but apparently the dinosaur was following them, and maybe it was approaching them, because after a roar, they walk away, and one of the people ends up slipping and screaming, but the other one else catches it. 

I hear footsteps next to me and see that it was Xxxxxxxxxxx, she looks at me and makes a small sound, before she starts to climb the walls, and then a faint sound of banging metal appears. 

The two people who were falling manage to climb, the bigger person walks away, and the unidentified dinosaur screams, and soon after I hear glass breaking, in addition to more grunts. I see that Xxxxxxxxxxx reached the ceiling, and went into attack position, and another smaller dinosaur screams, who could almost swear it was the sound of a velociraptor, and they both attack the dinosaur, and they all fall off the glass ceiling. 

Not long after, the people up there say something, but I was too far away to understand, and I notice that the silhouette of the two people is gone. 

I look around, hoping there wasn't any dinosaur there, and I go back to the mansion's entrance, standing on the stairs. I didn’t know where to go, what to do, or what to feel, so many things had happened that day, almost death on the isla Nublar, discovering that they weren't actually looking after the dinosaurs, but would sell them, mutant dinosaur, dinosaur attacks, Rain's death, watching Owen's scene… 

My tears are mixed with rainwater when I start to remember Rain and Owen, the only thing I could do now was cry, feel guilty, feel worthless, and think I'm not good enough. 

I wrap my arms around my stomach, and I ended up getting even more worried, the baby, all this madness would certainly not be good for the baby, and I was afraid that I might have an miscarriage because of that, and I didn’t want to lose this baby, I already suffered a lot in just one day, and with that, I don’t know what I could do with me. 

Lost in thought, I get scared when I hear the heavy noise of several dinosaurs running, and I hadn't even realized that the rain had stopped, I hear footsteps approaching the front door, Turning to see who it was, I realize it was Owen, along with a girl, Franklin, Zia and urgh, Claire. 

I walk down the stairs before they leave, but of course Owen would see me and then he screams out calling my name. 

- Y/n! Wait! - I stop in the middle of the steps when I see a familiar dinosaur at the bottom of the stairs, Blue. Owen stopped beside me, and when he saw the velociraptor he spoke. - Hey Girl. 

- Owen. - I hear Claire's voice, and I swear that hearing her say my husband's name made me want to throw up and start crying again, not that the tears stopped at some point in fact, damn hormones that wouldn't let me go without crying for a second. 

- Shh! It's okay, she won't hurt us. - Owen goes down the rest of the steps, approaching Blue, with his hand extended to touch her. - Hey. 

Without my realizing it, I went down the stairs, approaching Owen and the velociraptor.

- Blue, come with me. - He pets Blue, and she purrs, and then takes Owen's hand away, approaching me slowly, she sniffs me for a moment and gently touches my stomach, which makes me smile, and then I pet her too, making her purr, and Owen puts his hand on her again, it seems like he didn’t realized it as anything else, but I knew she knew I was pregnant, as well as Rain and Xxxxxxxxxxx. 

- We'll take you to a safe place, okay? - Blue chitter and then follows the look of Owen who was seeing the big container beside and looks again at Owen before running from there to the forest, looking back for a second, making another noise as if to say goodbye, more tears flow from my eyes, and I still had my arms around my stomach. My husband looks at me, he was going to say something, but he is interrupted by a little girl who hugs him, I look at him for a moment, and then I can't let a sob out of my mouth, then cover it with my hand and leave. 

- Y/n! Where are you going!? 

- Anywhere away from you! - I can muster the strength to speak before continuing on my aimless path, I hear the sound of his steps on the gravel and feel him take my wrist, forcing me to look at him. - Leave me! 

I try to remove his hand from my wrist, but it only made him hold both of my arms, preventing me from leaving. 

- Y/n, that was a misunderstanding…

- Oh sure! A kiss was a misunderstanding! I know very well what I saw! And I know very well that you should be loving this! Why don't you just break up with me and stay with your dear Claire Dearing? - I say with all the anger and sadness that had engulfed my body, trying desperately to remove his hands from me. 

- Y/n, I didn't kiss her! She kissed me! 

- Ah, of course, the typical excuse. - I roll my eyes, avoiding looking at him. - I know I'll never be perfect like her, so why just… don't let me… 

All the anger that I had ends up falling, and I just feel disappointment in myself and a deep sadness. 

- Because I love you, and I could never leave you. - He puts a hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away, but I push, not wanting him to touch me. 

- I doubt it. - I look at the stairs for a moment, and I can quickly see the four standing on the stairs, probably listening to our conversation, and I can swear I could see Claire with a little smile. I look at my right side trying hard not to look at him.

- Hey, look at me. - He forced me to look at him, but I was more stubborn, and I wasn't going to give him that power, so I kept looking away. 

- I will always be the last option... - I whisper, as more tears clouded my vision.   

- Hey, listen to me, you aren't the last option, believe me, I love you more than anything in this world, and you know it. - For the second time he puts one of his big hands on my cheek, wiping away my tears, I didn't know what to say, I wanted to retaliate, yell at him, curse him, hit him, but I couldn't do anything. - Nothing Claire does will make me leave you, because you are the only person I love. 

- And how do I know if you're not lying? - I managed to say between sobs. 

- You know I would never be with you if I didn't really love you, right? And I swear to god I will do anything to prove my words that I love you, and that I would go to hell for you. 

For the first time I look at his eyes, his green eyes that I loved so much, for a moment I hesitated but I kiss him, it was a passionate kiss, it was necessary, it was despair, and I can hear the sound of voices behind us, but I didn't pay much attention, because the only thing I wanted to pay attention to was there, in that kiss. But when I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, I have to part with Owen's lips and shrink in pain. 

- Y/n? What happened?

- I-I. - The pang of pain seemed to take all my breath away, making me almost unable to speak. - I d-don't know.

It was then that I felt a liquid between my legs, I couldn't see it, but I was pretty sure it was blood. 

- No, no, no. 

- Y/n, what's going on? 

- O-Owen… - He wraps his arms around me, bringing me closer, and the four who were on the stairs before approach us. 

- What is happening? - Asked Franklin, with his usual nervousness, but I can't judge him, since I was kind of like that too, especially now. I even tried to speak, but I couldn't, I could only think that I probably had an miscarriage, and that I hadn't even told Owen that he was going to be a father. 

- I don't know, y/n was writhing in pain. - He answers while stroking my back, which made me calm down a little. 

- What kind of pain? - Zia asked approaching us both.

- Mis-miscarriage. - It was the only thing I managed to say, but my voice was muffled and I don't know if anyone understood. 

- What? - Owen and Zia speak at the same time. 

- I-I... I think I had... a mis-miscarriage. - I spoke louder as I buried my head in Owen's chest, and held his shirt tighter.

- Miscarriage? What... - Owen doesn't finish talking and just remains silent, and stopped stroking my back. 

- We have to take her to the hospital now. - Zia said to Owen, and he removed his arms from me, before starting to carry me bride-style to one of the cars (or truck?) that was nearby, he put me in the passenger seat and then went around to get into the driver's seat.

I heard the sound of footsteps and I was pretty sure the four of them had gone in behind the car/truck, but I was more busy trying to control my breathing and try to stop crying for a few minutes, but the thought of losing my baby and all of this being my fault kept getting in of my head, I avoided looking at Owen, and I only paid attention to the road in front of us, I realized several times that Owen wanted to say something, but he never spoke, the only thing he said was.

- We're almost there, just a few more minutes. - He had put his hand on my knee, maybe trying to comfort me in some way, but in fact it just made me feel more guilty about not telling him. 

I don't know how Owen managed to find the way to the hospital, but there we were, he took me to the reception, and spoke to the nurse at the counter. 

- Please, this is an emergency! - He raised his voice when the nurse insisted she had to fill out a form before I was attended. 

- What kind of emergency? - The nurse said while typing something on the computer, and then before Owen could answer, I speak. 

- I think I had a miscarriage. - I instinctively put my hands on my belly, and the nurse agrees and starts to call a phone, calling one of the doctors, and then she calls other nurses came and puts me on a stretcher. 

- Hey! Let me go with her! - I hear Owen's voice behind me, but I couldn't see him. 

- Sorry sir, but you'll have to stay in the waiting room. 

- But I'm her husband! 

- Sir, you have to be patient and wait. 

- Please let him come. - I say weakly, but I don't know for exactly who. - Please. 

The nurses looked hesitant, but they let him come along. They took me to an empty room, and we had to wait until the doctor arrived, and meanwhile I was lying there, with Owen by my side holding my hand, I could feel his gaze on me, but I was ignoring him. 

- Y/n.

- … 

- Look at me. - I believe that when he realized that I wouldn't move my head to face him, he gently put his hand on my chin, thus having to look at him. - Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? 

His voice was low, and I could feel the disappointment as he spoke, I tried to answer, but instead more tears fall. 

- Are you mad at me? - I ask him, but I couldn't look directly in your eyes. 

- No! Of course not! I'm not mad, I'm worried! You already knew that before we went to the island, and yet you agreed to risk you and our baby's life! - When his voice started to increase, I shrunk. 

- Because I knew you wouldn't let me go to the island if I told you! I knew you would be mad! - I remove his hand and look at the other corner of the room. 

- I'm not mad! I'm worried! What did you expect to happen if something worse had happened? What if you had died? 

- You could stay with Claire... - I answer quietly. 

- Y/n, I'm serious!

- And me too! I know you never forgot her! - I increase the tone of my voice, but I stop immediately as another stab of pain arises.

- We already talked about it y/n, now stop deviating from the subject. 

- I-I... - When I was about to start talking, the room door opens and the doctor enters with a clipboard. 

- Y/n Grady? - I nod in agreement and the doctor approaches us both. - Okay, I'm Dr. Briggs, I'm going to ask you some questions before I do the ultrasound, okay?

- Ok… - I glance at Owen, who looked at the doctor and then at me.

- How long have you been pregnant? 

- 6 weeks.

- Uhum, and since when have you known about pregnancy? 

- 3 weeks. - I feel more tears falling from my eyes, and a sob ends up escaping, and I put my hand over my mouth, trying to control myself. 

- Do you take any medication? - I just shake my head negatively, not sure if I could speak. 

- Have you had a lot of stress in the last few days? - I look quickly at Owen, and this time he answered. 

- We were dinosaur trainers, we had to rescue them today, and it was... very stressful. 

- Hum, I understand. - He kept writing something on the clipboard, he asked a few more questions, and when he finished writing he said he would have to go to the room where he had the necessary equipment for an ultrasound, and then he left the room and not long after some nurses came and took the stretcher that I was to another room, and as soon as we got there the doctor said he would be back soon, Owen and I were silent, I still ignored him but I could feel him staring at me.

- 3 weeks… - Owen whispered, probably talking to himself more, but I can't help feeling guilty about it. 

- Owen, I-I… - I tried to recover my voice and add the courage I had to face my husband. - I'm sorry, I was going to tell you! I swear! But at first I was afraid that you didn't want this child, but after I decided I was going to tell you, I wanted, I don't know, to make a cute surprise… but then they called us about the island and the dinosaurs, and then Claire begged us to go… and when I saw you watching the baby velociraptors... I really wanted to save Blue, and Rain, and I knew that if I told you, you wouldn't let me go along. I'm sorry Owen, and now… a-and now our baby is probably d-dead because of me.

As I spoke more tears and sobs appeared, and Owen listened in silence to everything I had to say and wiped my tears away with his fingers. 

- Why did you think I wouldn't want to have a baby? This is one of the most incredible things I could hear. 

- I don't know... I-I, I'm sorry. - It was the only thing I managed to whisper, and when Owen was going to say something, the doctor came into the room. 

- Okay, let's start. - The doctor said when he sat in the chair next to the machine, he touched some things, he turned off the lights and asked me to raise my shirt and lower my pants a little, so that he could apply the warm gel on my belly, and then put the device on, I looked at the screen in front of me, which changed as he slid the device, and I gasped when I saw a small black bean-shaped spot with a white dot on it. 

- Is that white dot her, doctor? - I looked at Owen, and realized that his eyes were watering. 

- Yeah, it's the baby. - The doctor said while analyzing the screen and typing some things. 

- Owen, there's no way of knowing if it was her or him. - My voice was low and sad, while still watching my husband, who looked away from the screen to look at me and smiled at me. 

- I feel it's her. - When Owen said that I laugh a little bit still in tears, and I remembered the rare times we talked about children, saying that he wanted to have 4 girls, and I said that the chances of that happening were low, since it’s not possible to just want to, it’s a game of luck, and the chances of having 4 children, and they were all girls was very difficult, unless I was my aunt and he was my uncle, since they had 5 children, all girls. 

- Well, I can't say that yet, since to discover the genre it will be necessary to wait until the 20th week or more. - When the doctor said that, a click crossed my mind, but I was quiet for a few seconds before speaking.  

- Wait? Do you mean the baby is still alive? - My tears had stopped, and a glimmer of hope appeared, and I looked at Owen again, and I didn't exactly know what he was feeling, but his face was kind of funny to see.  

- I can't say this with 100% certainty yet, I will need some more tests and we need to follow up to see how the embryo and your body reacts, if the body will expel it, if there will be growth of the embryo, or if there will be no growth of it, but apparently what you suffered was an abortion threat, so it's better to be careful that a real miscarriage doesn't happen. 

After so many tears of sadness that I spilled that day, I finally managed to smile and tears of happiness fellen, and I saw that Owen also had a big smile on his face, with a single tear running down your cheek, he took my hand that he had been holding all this time and kissed it, before kissing my forehead. 

- I'll leave you a moment alone, I'll be back in a few minutes. - He took his clipboard and left the room which was still dark, with the image of our baby still appearing on the screen. 

- We're going to be parents. - Owen whispers and his forehead was resting on top of my head, and I could feel some of his tears fall. 

- But he said he can't be 100% sure ... - The thought takes over my mind, thinking that the worst could happen still haunted me. 

- Shh, don't think about it. - He put one of his hands on my cheek and then makes eye contact with me. - She will survive, she is a Grady, and the Grady don't die easily, look at us, we have survived attacks by dinosaurs, twice. 

I laugh at what he said, and a few more tears escaped my eyes, I couldn't understand how the hell I still managed to have so many tears. 

- How can you be so sure it's her? What if it's a boy? - I asked him when I wiped my tears.

- Shh, don't question my fatherly instincts. - It makes me laugh even more. 

- Hey, I'm the one who is pregnant, I'm the one who should have maternal instincts about what gender is. - I playfully tap his shoulder, and he laughs too. 

- Since you say, then tell me, what do you think it will be? - Owen shrugged before taking my hand again.

- Hmm ... I don't know, there is a 50% chance of being a girl and a 50% chance of being a boy, besides that in the future we don't know if he or she will feel the same way they was born and…

- Ok, ok, ok, got it, you don't know. - He laughed when I hit him on the shoulder and he raises his hands in defense. 

- My… uh… maternal instincts are still not strong enough to be sure. - I shrug, which makes Owen laugh again.  

- Okay, so let's do it like that, I bet 50 bucks that me and my fatherly instincts are right and it will be a girl. 

- Hum, do you want to bet now? - I raise my eyebrows at his proposal and cross my arms.

- Well, I need money to buy some beers for when we go to celebrate that I'm right. - He shrugs smiling and I laugh rolling my eyes.  

- Ok, ok, I accept the bet. - I talk giving my hand to him so we can close the bet. 

- You know you always lose them, don't you? - He chuckles, and still doesn't shake my hand. 

- I know, but I accept the bet. - I smile and he shakes my hand. 

- Then you can go saving the 100 dollars. 

- Hey! The deal was 50! - I tap him on the shoulder again making him laugh again, but then he takes my hands. 

- Are you sure? - Owen raises his eyebrows and I snort. 

- Yes, I'm sure, I'm pregnant, I'm not deaf or crazy. - He laughs at my sentence and kisses my hands.

- I'm kidding... it was actually 150. 

- Hey! - I can't believe how before I was crying desperately and now I was laughing, just him to be able to cheer me up at a time like this.

- Okay, okay, it'll be 50 bucks, and you better get ready to lose. - I roll my eyes and then look at the screen that had the image of our baby, and I can feel Owen's arm wrap around my shoulders and he lean his head against mine. - I swear with my life that I will take care of you and our baby, and that I love you both more than anything in the world, and nothing will change that. 

- Not even Claire? - I ended up returning to the subject, but I couldn't help it, I was still hurt because of that. 

- I swear y/n, what happened there meant nothing to me, because you are the only one for me, and nothing she does will destroy my love for you, understand?  

- Uhum. - I nod, with a single tear that insisted on falling, and then Owen holds my chin, looking into my eyes for a few seconds before we kiss deeply, at least until the doctor comes back and interrupts us. 

- Oh, well, sorry to disturb your moment, but if you don't mind, we'll have to do some more exams, so we'll take you to the room you were in earlier. - The doctor said and right behind him came nurses, who took me to the room, followed by the doctor and my husband.   

The doctor said that in addition to examining the embryo he needed to examine my other wounds, and see if I was all right, and because of that he put serum on me, collected blood samples, besides nurses came and made bandages on my injuries. I felt like crap to tell you the truth, and the only thing I wanted most was to take a shower, but the doctor wouldn't let me, at least for now, because he said I was still very weak, so I had better rest, and even if he hadn't said that, I think Owen would have stopped me saying the same thing. 

- You need to sleep. - Owen said to me, he was sitting next to me in the chair next to the stretcher, and then he kissed my right hand that was intertwined with his, and he puts his free hand over my hand that was resting on my belly. 

- You too. - I spoke in a hoarse voice, maybe it was the sleep that was hitting me little by little, or maybe it was because I cried and sobbed so much. 

- I will when you are. 

- Hum... you're stubborn. - I could feel my eyes getting heavy, but I wanted to keep them open so I could see his face, which smiled at me.

- Look who's talking. - I laugh lightly, I think we were both the most stubborn people on Earth.

- Would it be possible to turn off the lights, this is burning my eyes. - Owen chuckled before nodding and getting up to turn off the lights, soon returning to the same position as he was before. - Thanks.

- You're welcome. Good night y/n. - He kissed my forehead and then gave a sloppy kiss on my lips. 

- Good night Owen. - After closing my eyes, it wasn't long before I was in the world of dreams…  or rather, nightmares, because of course that after the nightmare I went through in real life, my mind couldn't miss the opportunity to haunt me.

A / n - Hey! Hello again! I think I wrote more than I expected, well, maybe I got a little excited hehe xD

And damn, I want to write the continuation of this chapter, but I also want to hold on and write the other things I need to write.

I don't know why, but as I wrote Doctor Briggs I saw his appearance as Benedict Cumberbatch xD

Anyway, I hope this was good and that you enjoyed it, don't forget to let me know if you have found any english error, or if something is very confusing, I always reread it several times, but I never know if something may have gone unnoticed. 

Until the next chapter! 

- Ina - 

Masterlist

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.19

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

Strangely enough, you wake up in your bed.

You don’t remember coming into your room to sleep, but here you are. It’s light out - the blinds are closed, but the window is glowing with sunlight. You rub at your eyes, trying to get the rest of the lingering feeling of sleep out of them. You wonder what time it is, and you look over to see your phone left on your small bedside dresser. Without moving from your lying position, you reach over to grab it off the flat surface.

You pull out the charging cable, and open your lock screen. It’s a bit past two in the afternoon. Ugh. You see a couple texts from Steven, and some from an unknown number. You open his messages first.

[10:23] Steven: I woke up fairly early and saw you asleep on the couch with Spinel. Color my face surprised. Wasn't expecting you two to be so chummy considering how you met, initially.

[10:23] Steven: I told you to get some sleep but you really don’t want to listen to me, huh? She helped me put you to bed. Was a little surprised at how careful she was with you.

[10:23] Steven: Anyway, you looked like you needed quite a bit of rest so Pearl, myself and Spinel are going to Little Homeworld ourselves to introduce her to some of the others and show her around a bit.

[10:24] Steven: Take it easy today, and don’t fret about the small stuff. I’ll take care of it, as well as giving some of the others a quick run-down of what happened so you’re not bombarded with the same questions multiple times. 

[10:24] Steven: I gave Spinel one of my old cell phones that Peridot ‘upgraded’, the one with the heart stickers you put on the back (I thought it was funny), and gave her your number. Watching her try to navigate human technology was hilarious, btw.

[10:24] Steven: Also we still have that tub of blueberry yogurt in the fridge that I didn’t really like, so if you’re hungry please eat that first. Pearl won’t let me buy more yogurt until I finish that one. :(

You stare at the texts for a moment, brain working a little slow still. Lord.. you can't believe Steven saw you like that, and with Spinel. He could've reacted way worse, but you're glad that it wasn't the case. You kinda have a feeling he might ask you a couple personal questions regarding that.. ugh. You’re also trying to not be disappointed that you’re not there with them and Spinel, and getting to see her interactions with the others.

Oh well, nothing you can do about it now. You text him back before opening the other messages.

[02:09] Y/N: Pssh, I’ll sleep when I want to sleep. Plus, I couldn’t really pass out before talking to her about shit on my mind. It’s fine. And thanks for making sure I didn’t wake up with a stiff neck.

[02:09] Y/N: Keep an eye on her for me, yeah? She’s anxious about all of this.

[02:09] Y/N: And.. thank you, Steven. You know you're my favorite, right?

After sending the texts, you go over and open the unsaved number’s messages from a couple hours ago. They’re clearly from Spinel, so you save the number to your contacts before reading them all.

[10:42] Spinel: did it send

[10:42] Spinel: i think it did this time, phewwww no error message

[10:42] Spinel: this tech is old and weird but i can deal with it for now

[10:42] Spinel: i hope you got okay sleep

[10:42] Spinel: i’m out with steven and pearl as i’m sure he’s told you already

[10:42] Spinel: she’s kinda annoying sometimes, is that normal for her? i don’t know how to feel about her, especially knowing pink as much as i did

[10:43] Spinel: and i know you told me to be nice to steven, but he’s already laughed at me for being confused at your human tech. never listening to you again

[10:43] Spinel: little homeworld is not what i was expecting, but i think i like this a little better than whatever i had thought, anyway

[10:43] Spinel: bismuth is fun. i like her. she says she’ll put me to work for it, but she has a small place for me in this new housing block that’ll be ready for me later today

[10:43] Spinel: it feels kinda like too much at once and it’s a little overwhelming

[10:43] Spinel: but steven has helped a ton, and i’m starting to understand why you defended him as much as you did.

[12:16] Spinel: [attachment received]

You open the file, and it’s a very blurry image of the sidewalk and what you think is Spinel’s shoes. Did she mean to send that? You feel your face smiling, despite the weird feelings starting to blossom in your stomach. You’re glad she’s getting along with the others. You had been.. wary, really, and for good reason. But if the others can get over other gems trying to kill Steven fairly quickly, then you’re not surprised they can get over this, this soon. It was always you technically that held a grudge against the other gems that tried causing him harm. And well, you did hold a bit of a grudge against Spinel for a while..

You sigh out loud, and sit up before texting her back. It feels weird to be texting her, when you were so used to face-to-face communication.

[02:12] Y/N: I slept fine. Thanks for putting me to bed, Steven said some nice things about you :P

[02:12] Y/N: I’m glad you got used to cellphones pretty quickly, I’m a little impressed. And give Pearl some time, you just gotta brush off half her nagging for the most part.

[02:12] Y/N: What were you expecting little homeworld to be like? And how sweet of Bismuth, you should take a pic of the place when you get into it, I wanna see what it looks like inside.

[02:13] Y/N: Yeah.. it will feel like too much, Spinel. Think of what your life was like before this. I did say there was going to be a lot to adjust to.

[02:13] Y/N: Also did you mean to send that last image because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at exactly, there.

You check your social media for a second as you try not to let all of your thoughts linger on Spinel, and then roll your eyes at yourself when you realize ah right, a month didn’t actually pass here. There’s nothing new. You stand up, stretching your arms way over your head.

It feels good, not sleeping on the ground for once.

You make quick work of changing into an oversized sweater and some shorts from your current sleepwear, wanting to wear something loose and different. Phone in hand, you meander out of your room hungry, and into the kitchen. You see Amethyst in the living room, chilling on the couch and reading some magazine. Except you know she’s not reading it, she’s just looking for weird images to cut out and prank Pearl with in weird places.

“‘Sup.” She says without looking up from her browsing as you open the fridge, looking for anything but that yogurt. A month of only bullshit weird, plain fruit to eat and he thinks you’ll finish off his yogurt for him?

“Hey.” You reply back to her, and ugh.. unless you want to go through the effort of making eggs, toast and yogurt are really your only option since they haven’t gone food shopping.  You make a face at the fridge, grabbing for the yogurt and closing the door.

“How ya’ feelin’?” She asks casually, flipping a page. An eye drifts over the page to land on you, and she lifts an eyebrow in interest. “You look better than you did yesterday.”

“...Thanks,” It comes out slightly insulted, but, well, it’s Amethyst. She doesn’t mince her words. “I got some decent sleep for once. Is Garnet home?”

“Nah, she’s got one of her lessons going on.” 

“And you don’t?” You grab the bread out of the cupboard, and squint at it for a second. There’s.. a bit of fucking mold on the edge. Ugh. Your luck. You toss the bread onto the counter for Amethyst to eat later, and spot a single bagel left in the cupboard behind a bag of flour. Oh hell yeah.

“Not today, we pushed mine til tomorrow because Onion couldn’t participate for some reason.” She blows a lock of hair out of her face, turning a page.

“All for Onion, and he’s not even a gem. He can sit out one lesson.” You put the bagel in the toaster - getting crumbs everywhere and not caring, and grabbing a spoon for your yogurt.

“C’mon, you know the others love him, it was basically all their decision anyway.” She flips another page, and you can see her giving you a pointed look that you’re going to ignore. “Besides, I wanted to relax today anyway, considering all the stress you just put me under.”

“Cause it was totally by choice.” You retort with a roll of your eyes, opening the lid of the yogurt disdainfully and giving it a sniff. It smells fine but.. Ugh. You’re not much of a fan of yogurt. You take a bite, and it’s okay you guess.

“What are you planning on doing with the rest of your afternoon, anyway?” She asks as soon as you take another bite of yogurt.

“I uh,” You swallow. “I don’t know, actually. I was thinking I’d be with Steven and Pearl, showing Spinel around, but it seems they’re all doing that without me.” You say, half a frown forming on your face. You kind of realize that you’re way more disappointed by that fact than you had previously figured, but that train of thought is interrupted by the bagel popping out of the toaster. You jump slightly, almost launching your yogurt out of your hands. Amethyst notices but doesn’t make a comment about it.

“Y/N, I know you’re really caring and wanna help, but don’t you think you should take a couple days just for you?” She gives you a look.

“A couple days to what?” You match her look, popping an eyebrow for extra emphasis. “Relax? Like the weeks I just spent doing absolutely nothing on a forgotten planet in the middle of nowhere? I’m good.”

She looks at you, deadpan, and sighs. You notice a bunch of bananas on the top of the fridge that you had missed earlier, and get an idea that’s better than just eating yogurt.

“You’re kind of impossible. I’m telling Steven to not let you help him with any more of his current projects.” She sets the magazine down and cracks her knuckles obnoxiously. “Maybe it will force you to go out and do something for yourself for once.”

“Don’t you dare.” You say in annoyance, grabbing the bananas and blender from the top of the fridge, setting them on the counter. You grab the milk from the fridge and pour a little inside, and dump some of the yogurt in as well. You don’t care for proper proportions, you measure smoothies with your soul.

“I’m literally texting him right now and you can’t stop me.” She grabs for her phone, typing on it quickly.

“You can’t make me relax, Amethyst.” You say, peeling two bananas and tearing them into small enough chunks to blend, putting those in as well with a couple cubes of ice for good measure. “If I want to help out, I’m helping out.”

“Not if I can help it.” You hear her say as you put on the lid of the blender and plug it into the outlet next to it.

You grab your phone to text Steven to dissuade him from whatever Amethyst is saying to him, and press the liquify button on the blender.

A terribly familiar whirring noise fills the room, and your blood runs cold. You freeze on the spot.

You rip the plug from the outlet near violently, silence filling the immediate space. A beat or two passes.

“Uh.” You hear Amethyst say from fifteen feet behind you. “Y/N? You okay?”

You’re staring at the blender, and you can’t get your mouth to move. The chunks of ice shift, light from the afternoon sun hitting it and causing it to sparkle. 

“Y/N?” She asks again, and you hear slight shuffling.

There’s this indescribable feeling of fear and dread swirling at the pit of your stomach, and then you feel an arm pulling at your elbow. 

“Y/N.” Amethyst reiterates from beside you, and suddenly, you can turn your head to face her.

“Yeah?” You answer, facing her and blinking. She looks at you for a second before answering.

“What was that?” Her brows furrow in concern.

“I, um.” You realize you aren’t hungry anymore. “That was nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She looks offended at your response. “I’ve never seen you react that way before, to like, anything.”

“Uhhhhh, you know what?” You say, feeling like your mouth is working on autopilot at this point. “I’m gonna go out actually.”

You spin around, walking around Amethyst entirely despite her protests, and leave out the front door. You hear it slam shut behind you.

-

By the time you check the time, it’s nearly five in the afternoon, and you’re in front of the new bakery, Spacestries. You uh.. you didn’t realize you had walked all the way over here. You think you wandered the beach for a while, trying to definitely not think about what happened in the kitchen, with Amethyst as a fucking witness. Embarrassing. Could’ve been worse, you guess - it could have been Pearl there. It’s probably best if you don’t use the blender for a while. 

You’re completely annoyed with yourself about all of that, really, and by pushing all of that away you’re trying to not let the rest of your thoughts linger on the other thing you shouldn’t put any more thought into, which are your obvious feelings for Spinel. That area is a whole ass disaster that you’d rather ignore right now. You have a few notifications that you swipe away as soon as they come; your heart pathetically skipping a beat when it sees her name there for a split second - you’re not in the right mood to reply to the messages at the moment. Later.

You sigh, pocketing your phone. You look at the shiny new sign above, squinting at the sun in your eyes, and someone nearly walks into you on the sidewalk. Ugh. You stand there for a second, letting the hot air of summer waft by. You smell fries from somewhere nearby, and your stomach growls. A car honks off in the distance.

It’s not even a busy day out. It’s just another lazy afternoon, something you’ve experienced many, many times in your life. But you find yourself listening to the muted sounds of Beach City, thankful that you’re standing here on a paved sidewalk that was made by humans. Your hair tickles your nose, and you blow air to get it out of your face.

A minute or so passes. You figure you should just go in and buy yourself a cheese roll or something. You don’t know why you’re just standing outside.

You take in a deep breath, and open the door. It chimes as you come in.

It’s cool inside from the air conditioning, and there’s no one behind the counter. You walk in slowly, hearing your footsteps tapping on the floor. There’s a small FM radio off to the side playing the top 40’s that you can barely make out due to all the static. It’s been a while since you’ve heard music.

There’s a lot of pastries on display, and they look good. You wonder if he’s working today. You walk up to the counter leisurely, looking at the glazed fruit tarts on the top display shelf.

“I’LL BE UP FRONT IN A SECOND!” You hear a familiar muffled voice coming from the back room. 

“Take your time, Lars. It’s just me.” You reply, hearing your voice not carry very far. You hope he heard you despite the white noise of the AC. There’s a couple more shuffling sounds, as it sounds like he’s rounding the corner.

You see the tray of cream puffs in one hand before Lars walks out, and he’s got another in the other hand, balanced on his hip.

“Y/N? Is that you out ther-” He stops abruptly as soon as he sees your face; and one of the trays slips out of his hand, clattering on the floor loudly.

He opens and closes his mouth. Twice.

“What in the actual fuck happened to you!?” He nearly shouts, eyes wide. He rushes to set the remaining tray on the counter, and completely ignores what is on the floor to get over to where you’re standing.

“Uh..” You pull your sweater sleeves down, AC giving your arms goosebumps. “A lot. Can I have one of your fresh cheese rolls?”

He gives you an incredulous look. “Yeah, as soon as you tell me how you fucking died!? What the hell have I missed in the last fews days while I was out of town!?”

“Cheese roll first, buddy.” You say, and cross your arms.

“Ugh, FINE!” He tosses his hands into the air, and makes quick work of grabbing his freshest roll for you, placing it into your hands with a napkin. He gives you another look.

You take a bite out of it, and it tastes so good that you feel tears prickling the corners of your eyes, and you cannot stop them from forming. Lars seems to take notice.

“Spill. You’re being weird and I’m actually concerned right now.” He puts his hands on his hips. You finish chewing before answering, but he holds up a finger instead. “Wait. Sit down and finish that, I’ll go grab some coffee for the both of us, I just made fresh pot that should be done brewing by now.”

He leaves momentarily to grab the coffee, and you sit down at the little two person table in the corner of the shop. You feel your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket, but you opt to ignore it instead. They can wait; you told Amethyst you were just going out, and your brain can really only deal with so much right now. Namely food, and hyping yourself up to talk to Lars about this.

A few cars pass out on the street outside, and your eyes are glued to the bright blue sky and those giant fluffy clouds that are floating idly by. You take another bite out of the roll, savoring the way the buttery crust melts on your tongue. The song changes to one particular pop number that you hate, and you aren’t even irritated about it. You find yourself having missed the small things.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind you, and Lars sets down two cups of black coffee with a cream puff in front of you. Eh. You’ll deal with the coffee being black with no sweetner for it.

“So,” He sits down, taking a sip of coffee. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate. Was there some kind of freak accident or something?”

You take a sip of coffee before answering, staring at the new plugs in his ears. They’re filled with stars, and it’s kind of cute. Looks nice on him.

“You want a short version, or the whole thing? Because there’s a lot.” You say, exhaling out a long breath. The coffee is good, despite the bitterness.

He looks around his shop for a second, shrugging when his eyes fall back on you. “Business has been extremely slow all day, I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Okay. Well.. technically this was yesterday? Ish? It’s been a blur. Anyway..”

You find yourself opening up to him more than you did with the others, and you think it’s because he might be the only person who maybe understands how you feel in this moment. Human, thrown into too much space bullshit just to try to survive.

“..and yeah. That’s about all of it.” You finish, taking a small sip of your coffee. 

Lars puts his face in his hands, sighing exaggeratedly. He’s been patiently listening this entire time, which is surprising for him.

“I need more coffee for this.” He says, getting up immediately to do so. It takes him a minute, but he comes back with a fresh cup for you both, and you’re thankful for it.

“Thanks.” You take a sip, and it’s nearly hot enough to burn your tongue.

“You know, I wouldn’t believe half the shit you just said if I didn’t actually know you. That’s nuts and utterly awful, even for it having to do with more gem bullshit.” He takes a drink, eyes roaming your face and hair. 

“Yeah. I know.” You reply. “But what is life around Steven if not life-threatening and ridiculous? You know how it goes.”

“Yeahhh.. you’re telling me. Oh, has Amethyst texted you since your ‘incident’ earlier?” He asks, lifting his hands to do the air quotations with his index fingers.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve ignored every notification that has popped up on my phone since leaving the house earlier.” You feel another buzz ironically inside your pocket. Ugh.

“You can’t ignore all your problems forever you know, you should probably text them back sooner rather than later. I’m sure they’re worried about you.”

“I’ll get to it in a bit.” You say with a huff.

“Hm.. it’s kind of funny how I’ve also been stranded against my will somewhere away from civilization, now that I think about it. It just wasn’t with an alien.. and it was at least on Earth.”

“Yeah that’s a weird coincidence, I didn’t even realize.” You feel half your face perk in a wry smile. “You’re lucky you had Sadie instead of Spinel though, Sadie’s.. so much nicer.” He rolls his eyes at that. “Can I ask you something Lars? If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah? Of course.” He replies, perking an eyebrow in question.

“How did you deal with dying? Or uh, anything of what happened to you in space?” You avoid his eyes for a moment, looking out the window. You can see the heat rising off the pavement from here.

“Oh, god.” You hear him take another drink of his coffee. “Not well, at first. The off-colors helped me tremendously in dealing with my problems. I’m pretty whatever about the whole thing now, honestly. I take it day by day, and keeping busy doing what I love at this shop is helping. Also, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, as thankful as I am to be alive.” He points to his pink hair and face with his index finger, raising an eyebrow. “I hate the looks I get when I leave Beach City.”

“I’ll get used to it in time, probably. Still surprised when I look in the mirror." You sigh. You fix your eyes on the cup in front of you. “I also don’t want the gems to worry about me, and about what happened.”

“It’s something that took me quite a while to get used to. You’re wayyy more adaptable than I am, though, so I’m sure you’ll be a little quicker with it.” He says, running a hand through his hair and taking another drink of his coffee. “I’m sure they’ll worry about you regardless, and there isn’t really anything you can do about it. Kinda happens when they consider you family. Also, you’ve been through a lot. This isn’t just, like, breaking a leg or something.”

“I made the best of a shitty situation, and I’m alive and okay, it really isn’t a huge deal. I don’t want them walking on eggshells around me, or coddling me. I hate that. I’m not seventeen and stupid anymore.” 

Lars stares at you like you’re definitely seventeen and stupid, expression that says ‘I cannot believe you right now.’

“You’re literally traumatized, you fucking idiot.” He says, completely exasperated. “Stop acting like what you’ve been through is as common as the cold. It isn’t. It’s going to take you time, and them some time. Talk to them if you’re that bothered with it.”

You shrug at him, affronted. “It’s whatever. I just want a normal life again.” Is what you hear coming out of your mouth. 

“Your life stopped being normal the moment you accepted that babysitting job with the gems.” He rolls his eyes at you again, and you wanna kick him under the table. Just a little. “How are the gems dealing with Spinel by the way? I bet they thought they’d never have to fight another gem again, sheesh.”

“I was a little worried, but I think they’ll be fine honestly. They’ve dealt with worse. It probably helped that I was there to defend and vouch for her, really.” Someone passes the shop window, distracting your eyes for a second. A beat or two goes by, another car speeds down the street, and you wonder how Spinel’s doing right now. You hope Steven works his friendship magic on her, and you hope they become quick friends. They’re kind of like, two of the most important people to you. Oh, fuck. You think to yourself. Quick question, self? When the fuck did Spinel become that important to you? What the hell? Was it somewhere between hating her and dying for her?! You get the feeling you’re being watched all of a sudden so you look back over to Lars, and he’s studying your face with enough concentration to make you nervous.

“I feel like you’re still sitting on something that you want to talk about, but you’re too chickenshit to say it.” He says, full seriousness. You break eye contact, looking at your cup of coffee instead and sigh.

You and Lars have never been what you’d call good friends. Recently he’s been a lot better and you can actually talk to him like he’s a peer since he came back from space, but he used to be such a dick to Steven that you basically hated him, and you never hid that. You have no idea how he can see through you so well. 

“How can you even tell?”

“Your posture isn’t relaxed whatsoever. You’ve been sitting like someone strapped a yard stick to your spine.” He answers bluntly. “You’re normally a sloucher.”

“Don’t read me like that ever again.” You scowl. “I’m sitting on it because I’m not sure I want to verbalize it out loud, okay? And I haven’t talked to anyone about it..” You say, ignoring his pointed look at you.

“Y/N, unless you’re going to say that you want to move back in with your shitty parents, or that all of a sudden you believe in the existence of saint nicholas, it can’t be that strange to say considering everything else you’ve said.” He leans his chin on his hand, nudging his coffee cup slightly with his fingers. You think, maybe.. maybe you can trust him with this too. Another shadow passes by the window, but you ignore it in favor of the swirling thoughts in your head.

“I have feelings for Spinel,” You blurt out with about as much grace as ripping off a band-aid; just as he takes another drink of his coffee. He chokes on it, sputtering everywhere - the entry door swings open with a chime and a customer walks in. He stands up suddenly, coughing into his hand.

“Give me just a second,” He says, turning to the customer, and rushes away from the table to go cough violently into the sink behind the counter.

The customer stares at him.

“Are you open?” They ask, even though they just came through the open, unlocked bakery door. You know, with the clearly printed hours on the glass.

He gives a thumbs up, coughing into the sink again and wiping his face.

“Yeah, just come up to the counter and I’ll help you out.” He says, a few coughs coming out here and there. He gives you a particular look from across the shop, and you’re not sure how to interpret it. 

Your heart is beating wildly out of nervousness, and you kind of regret your honesty a little. Having feelings for a gem can’t be.. that weird. Right? Today is taking its toll on you already, and you’ve only been awake for a few short hours. You tune out Lars and the customer’s interactions, and pull out your phone instead. You should answer your messages. 

You can kind of see the customer glancing at you in the corner, and you try ignoring it. You answer Amethyst messages first to let her know that you’re fine.

[02:48] Amethyst: dude, dont just leave

[02:48] Amethyst: esp after something like that [02:48] Amethyst: im worried about you, you know you can talk to me about stuff if you want

[02:48] Amethyst: or if u want a lounge buddy for distractions ig 

[02:48] Amethyst: im here.

You feel bad that you rushed out like that on her, but you couldn’t stand in that kitchen anymore and you needed to be anywhere else but right there.

[05:32] Y/N: I’m fine, Amethyst.. I just needed some air.

[05:32] Y/N: Your concern is appreciated. Really.

[05:32] Y/N: Just needed to run away for a bit.

[05:32] Y/N: And I know. Thank you.

The customer talking to Lars is asking way too many questions about the gluten in the fruit fritters, and you can feel Lars’ annoyance from here. You see replies from Steven, and read those next. 

[03:10] Steven: Of course I’m your favorite, who else has this Universe charm? ;)

[03:10] Steven: I’m gonna pick up pizza for us later, you deserve some good food after all of this, lol.

[03:10] Steven: And what’s Amethyst saying about not letting you help me out?

[03:10] Steven: Are you not resting like I told you to? I said to take it easy. I know we were planning on adding in a bunch of new classes and recruiting more people to teach them, but I can have Pearl help me out with that. Maybe Buck. He owes me a big favor anyway.

[03:10] Steven: It doesn’t matter, I was gonna tell you to take the next week for yourself anyway, because you need to chill.

[03:11] Steven: I’ll be home in a couple hours, and if you wanted to cancel wednesday movie night, I understand. :(

You stare at your phone, trying to not be irritated like you want to. You don’t want to be replaced, responsibility-wise. You like helping Steven out. It makes you feel useful, and if you aren’t being useful, what’s the point. You feel like no matter what you say to him, he won’t care though. He’s really stubborn like that. You’ll take the next few days off for yourself regardless.

[05:35] Y/N: I’m just out rn okay, didn’t want to be cooped up at home. I went out for a walk because of how much I missed the sand.

[05:35] Y/N: And no, I think I need movie night now more than ever lol. Kinda just don’t want to lay around in bed.

Mere seconds pass of you replying to his texts, and he’s answered you back.

[05:35] Steven: Want it to just be the two of us, or would you be okay with me inviting Spinel and the others? 

[05:36] Steven: I might’ve hyped up Princess Diaries to her earlier, and well, this may be an easy way for her to be more.. at ease with everyone.

Oh thank god he asked. You didn’t want to seem desperate for her presence enough to suggest it. Also, he’s not wrong. You smile slightly to yourself as you reply to him.

[05:36] Y/N: Please do. :) That sounds fun.

Lars and the customer are now going back and forth about prices. You know he can handle himself, clearly, but you keep an ear perked in case this person goes full on karen-mode. You open Spinel’s messages last.

[02:52] Spinel: oops that wasnt what i was trying to send

[02:52] Spinel: [attachment received]

It’s another blurry picture, but it’s a candid shot of Pearl making a funny face while criticizing Steven about something. It’s actually fucking hilarious. You kinda want to send it to Amethyst.

[02:52] Spinel: shes been like this the last five minutes

[02:52] Spinel: its fun to watch

[02:52] Spinel: earth’s organisms are fun though so far

[02:53] Spinel: steven threw some food at the birds and i almost caught one

[02:53] Spinel: it pecked me 

You try not to laugh out loud at the mental image, wishing desperately that you could’ve seen this.

[05:36] Y/N: I was going to ask why, except I know the answer to that already. You deserved being pecked, stop heckling local wildlife you fucking birdbrain

Before you can type up another message, you hear the door jingle again as the customer leaves - drawing you out of looking directly at only your phone. You must’ve tuned out the last of their interactions, because Lars is standing in front of the table with crossed arms.

He’s staring at you, half an eyebrow perked; like he’s trying to read your mind. You can hear his foot tapping on the cold tile floor. You are not going to lie to yourself - if you could get up and abscond, you’d do exactly just that. He suddenly whips his arm out, placing it upon the back of your chair.

“Don’t even think about running away from this conversation, Y/N.” He says, the radio crackling a bit in the background. 

“Why would you think I want to run, Lars?” You avoid his eyes out of nervousness.

“Because I can see it in your eyes.” He plops back down in his seat, and sighs. His eyes haven’t moved from his gaze on you. “So. What the actual fuck?”

“Look. I didn’t even realize that I had these feelings until a couple days ago.. technically. Days on Golgotha. Not here, I mean.” 

He brings his hand up to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief and scrunching his eyes. “You’re telling me.. that you have feelings for a gem that tried to kill Steven and yourself, after being stuck on a different planet with her for weeks?”

You’re staring at him, unmoving. A second or three passes.

“Don’t put it so plainly out there like that..” You groan. “I already feel stupid about this.”

“I’ve known you for years now, and you’ve refused any kind of prospect of romance. I watched you turn down several people, including fucking JENNY of all people. Where the hell is this coming from!?” God he’s so worked up about this that he’s half talking with his hands.

“Yeah because I was busy with Steven! Also I just wasn’t ..interested in anyone.” You level him with a look, slightly miffed about all of this.

“What made her different?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” You hear your voice raise, heart beating wildly in your chest. You can feel the adrenaline running through you. “At first I thought it was because she didn’t treat me like a fragile meatbag! Or maybe because she took my shit and threw it back at me!! AND THEN SHE STARTED TO GET ALL CARING, LIKE, SHE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT MY WELL-BEING? GENUINELY? And she wanted to be my friend EVEN after I treated her like shit!”

“Oh, my god. You DO have feelings for her!!!” He shouts accusingly, pointing his finger directly at you.

“I WASN’T LYING YOU IDIOT.” 

“Well?! What are you going to do about it?!” He implores, leaning into the table - practically knocking off his half cup of coffee.

“Nothing, probably,” You say, avoiding his eyes again.

“You’re joking.”

“What if I’ve been reading signals all weird, and she thinks humans are super gross?”

He levels you with a Look, one you deem The Judgemental Gaze of Judgement. He sighs for like the fifth time this conversation.

“Ugh! Give me your phone.”

“NO.” 

“Let me talk to her!” 

“DEFINITELY NO.” You hear your own voice echo throughout the room.

“Okay, so, you’re just going to steep in your own feelings and pretend you don’t have them? Really, Y/N?” 

“Well.. no. Maybe. I don't know.”

“You’re being stupid.” He says with a roll of his eyes. “What are you actually afraid of?”

“...what if she can only see me as a friend?” You reply, a bit nervously. 

“It’s not the worst thing ever, honestly. At least she’d still be your friend, take it from me..” He glances at his phone on the table for a moment, a notification popping up. “But I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet, but if she’s everything you’ve said to me so far.. I think you might be a little dumb about this.”

“I’m not saying you’re right, but I’ll keep it in mind.” 

“If I happen to see her in the next week, I’m telling her if you haven’t by then.” He says with a perk of his eyebrow, tone half mocking. 

“If I catch wind of that happening I’ll set your shop on fire.” You reply, deadpan. His eyes get large.

“No arson!” He points to the center of your torso, like this would be a thing you’d actually do. “Anyway, I gotta get back to making a new batch of what I dropped earlier before the delivery I’m supposed to receive in an hour gets here. You’re welcome to stay if you wanna help me out. I had 3 part timers quit in the last month.”

“Bet they left because you suck at being a manager.” You say, pocketing your cell phone and standing up. “And as much as I’d like to keep busy right now, it’s best I be getting back soon anyway.”

“I’m a great manager, for the record! Just unlucky. Thankfully the off-colors help out plenty, even if most of them are preoccupied doing things for themselves now. Let me know if you know anyone that wants any part time hours? I’m flexible.” He also stands up, pushing his chair in and grabbing both cups of coffee - now empty. He gives you a look before smiling a little. “I’m glad you’re alive and well, Y/N. And really. Talk to Spinel. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll feel a lot better getting it off your chest.”

“Yeah, yeahhhhhh. We’ll see.” You reply with an eye roll, and head out the door.

-

On your way home you stop by the boardwalk by Funland. The sun is beating down on you, but you don’t really mind this heat. It isn’t nearly as humid as on the surface of that awful place. It’s almost lovely compared to it. You sit on one of the nearby benches to zone out for a couple minutes, watching people and their dogs pass by as you internally fight yourself. 

You should talk to Spinel. You think briefly that you should just text her about it, and then immediately swat that thought away. That’s the cowards route. Get it the fuck together. You’ve been through so much shit already, and you’re this hung up on your feelings. Also, Spinel deserves a lot more than just a stupid text.

Oh my godddd, you do not want to put too much thought into this shit, it will just make you even more anxious around her. Ugh. Seriously, you've been through waaay more anxiety inducing scenarios than this, what's your deal? You feel your phone vibrate with a notification, and you pull it up to see that it’s a message from Steven saying that they’ll be home soon. It’s a bit after six by now, and you send him a reply saying that you’ll see him there.

The distant sounds of the crashing waves of the ocean put you at ease. You pocket your phone, and you notice Mr. Smiley talking to a couple kids with cotton candy forty feet away or so. He sees you, and you can see his eyebrows raise in confusion all the way over from here.

Ugh. You’re kind of tired of explaining what’s happened to you. You get up and leave to avoid any kind of conversation about it, opting to just go straight home instead.

-

You take your flip flops off as you walk through the sand up to Steven’s house. It’s warm, and the salty sea breeze tickles your skin. It’s making you a little reluctant to go up the stairs. You’re halfway up when you hear muffled voices coming from inside, quite a few actually. The rest of them must have got here before you did, oops. You hope they don’t implore too much about where you’ve been and why it’s taken so long.

Once you open the front door you feel a couple eyes turn to you, and you swallow the weird anxiety in your gut. 

“Y/N!” Peridot shouts from across the room, and you set your flip flops down on the ground near the door. “Jeez, took you long enough to get home.”

“Sorry, I took the long way home.” You reply, seeing her with Bismuth, Lapis and Pearl all chatting animatedly about something on the couch with each other. 

“You guys only got here a couple minutes ago anyway.” Amethyst snorts, walking into the kitchen after she gives you a discreet look-over to make sure you’re visibly okay. 

“Yeah but she’s the last one here, and that means she gets cleanup duty!” She retorts, giving you a pointed smirk from across the room.

“I feel like I should be exempt from cleaning duty for the next couple of weeks.” You walk over to the kitchen where Steven and Spinel are talking to Garnet about something, and your heart does this stupid, stupid little flip when you see her with the others. Her eyes gravitate over to you as she’s talking, something sparkling in them when she sees that it’s you - and tears her eyes away back to the others quickly.

What the hell. That was kinda weird. Steven looks over to you, and then to Peridot after he hears you. 

“I’ve volunteered to take over her responsibilities this week, anyway, so suck it Peridot.” He says, sticking his tongue out at her childishly. 

“You mean it?” You reply, feeling immense amounts of affection bubbling up inside for him. 

“Yeah, well, you’re not wrong about being exempt for now. Also I just love you.” He grins, shrugging at you. You walk over to his side, ruffling his thick brown curls.

“Steeeeven, what would I do without you?” You say, and you see Spinel watching you out of the corner of her eye as Garnet talks to her. “I miss when you were shorter than me, who am I supposed to use as a chinrest now? Amethyst? She’s too short.”

“Hey!” Amethyst huffs, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder. “Being this short is one of my best qualities.”

“I thought it was your obnoxious personality?” You raise an eyebrow in mockery at her.

“I thought that was yours.” You hear Spinel say as your heart jumps into your throat, and you whip your face to hers.

“You of all people cannot say that to me!” You hiss out at her automatically without missing a beat, and the others burst out laughing. Even Garnet. You feel your face heat up as Spinel grins, and whatever thoughts you had about her acting weird earlier vanish. When the laughter dies down, Steven looks over to her.

“I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that talks to Y/N that way and gets away with it.” He says, still smiling and shaking his head.

“Really?” Her eyes light up at that, and she gives you a particular look that makes you want to smack her. “I guess I must be kinda special or somethin’.”

“No, you’re just too stupid to realize when I’m telling you off.” You reply, and she splutters with a glare while the others laugh boisterously again. 

It’s good to be in this kind of company again, you think. 

Steven grabs the three boxes of pizza on the counter that you just noticed were there. The smell is very enticing. “Since we’re all here, I’m gonna go set up the movie so I can finally eat because I am starrrrrving.” He says, dragging it on a bit dramatically as he walks up the stairs over to his loft bed. “You guys can join whenever!”

You follow him immediately, mainly because you want food. Also, Spinel’s looking at you in a way that makes you hyper aware of literally every single thing you’re doing, and you need to sit down and calm yourself before you have some kind of self-induced heart attack.

“You wanna sit on the bed? You get first pick since.. y’know.” He looks at you, setting the pizza boxes down on the floor by the foot of his bed.

“Nah, I want the beanbag.” You say as the others make their way up here, and you grab said seat from the corner of his room, dragging it to the spot you want on the far left opposite of the stairs and next to Steven’s bed. Peridot likes to throw things during dramatic moments and you’d prefer to not be placed in the crossfire again.

“Suuuit yourself.” He says, popping the dvd case open and inserting the disk into the system below the tv. Amethyst plops on his bed with a satisfied sigh, rolling over to the edge to grab a slice from the boxes on the floor. 

The rest of them come in, finding places to sit and lounge - all of them as loud as ever. You see Spinel off to the side by Pearl, and she looks like she doesn’t know where to sit. Eventually her eyes land on you - your heart doing a little flip, and you make a point to pat the ground next to you. Her eyes light up instantly. Not like you saved a seat for her or anything.

She gets over to you - having to stretch her leg waaay over to the side of the multiple gems in the center of the room making a commotion loudly over who gets to sit in front of the tv. She sits down next to you; wrapping her arms around her knees, her body language a little more at ease beside you than she was earlier.

You ignore your brain screaming about the implications. Just act normal, fucking idiot.

“You have fun today?” You turn your face to ask her, Bismuth bellowing out a laugh at something behind you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting them to be so.. welcoming.” She says a bit quietly so the others don’t hear, pulling her gloved hand up to scratch at her cheek sheepishly. “I still don’t feel like I deserve this.” 

“Well, you do.” You lean forward, grabbing a slice of pizza and a napkin. “So you better get used to it.” Before you even take a bite, you notice her staring at you. Steven’s cursing out the dvd player for giving him issues, and Pearl’s tutting him for his language. “What? You wanna try?”

“No. It just looks weird.” She replies, scrunching her face.

“Spinel.” You look at her, deadpan. “Unless you try it, you don’t get to judge pizza. Even Amethyst likes it.” You take a bite, melty cheese easily pulling off the slice. Her eyes go kinda wide, watching you - and then her face gets suspiciously smug.

“Wow, what is that? Kinda similar to how much I can stretch-” You give her a kick with your bare foot, and she chokes out a laugh. You roll your eyes, taking another bite. Her constant teasing makes your heart grow fonder, and that fact irritates you.

“Finally!” Steven says, pressing the play button on the menu. Guess he finally got it to work. He sits on his bed where his pillows are, Amethyst up at the front. The others are lounging around the rest of the room as the volume dies down.

The movie starts to play, and you settle comfortably in your beanbag. Once you’re done adjusting yourself, Spinel leans half her side and props her elbow up on your chair, resting her chin on her hand. She’s close enough to where you can feel the heat emanating off her slightly. She’s most comfortable around you, clearly. 

You’ve seen the princess diaries many, many times as it’s one of Steven’s favorite movies - he starts singing ‘stupid cupid’ and you join along, earning a wink from him. Spinel makes comments here and there about the absurdities of royalty here, and several human traditions that the other gems laugh and nod in agreement. She seems to like it though, as she laughs pretty hard at a couple scenes.

You're content, you feel. You didn't think you'd get to experience this like, ever, with her.

Two thirds through the movie and several slices of pizza later, you notice Spinel watching you more than the movie out of the corner of your eye. You try not to be self-conscious about it, but you wish you could ask her if you have something on your face without alerting the others around you. She lays her arm down on your beanbag, parallel to yours resting against your thigh; and you have a quiet moment of panic because your immediate thought is to grab her hand and hold it.

Okay. You need to calm the fuck down, first of all. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Also, the thought of anyone of them seeing that makes you want to run outside into the ocean to never return. You spend the rest of this movie consumed with so many thoughts about Spinel beside you that you don’t realize that the movie has already ended with the credits rolling, and the others are chatting and stretching their limbs from their stationary positions on the floor.

“Okay, do we want to watch another movie, or call it a night guys?” Steven asks, and a few of the others immediately all say they want to watch another movie. 

“Okay but what exactly are we watching?” You turn your face to look at him. “Because I don’t want to watch the sequel.”

“But I loooooooooove the sequel!!!” He cries out, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. “It has Chris Pine’s dreamy eyes!”

“There’s another one?” Spinel interjects, raising an eyebrow. “But they didn’t really leave room for continuation.”

“Exactly my point.” You reply. “It’s a bad sequel.”

“It’s not! You just hate good fun!” Steven whines.

“I kinda wanna watch it. I like the part when she pushes him into the fountain.” Amethyst chuckles, stuffing a room-temperature slice of pizza into her mouth in a single bite.

“Sweet! Then we’re watching it.” He says smugly, getting up to change the dvd out.

“You’re so biased it’s not even funny.” You groan, flopping your head back on the beanbag dramatically. “Next time I get to pick.”

“No! You always pick horror movies!” You see Steven whip his head towards you from the corner of your eye.

“Alien is a classic though. And besides, you always pick fucking romantic comedies my guy.” You retort.

“Yeah, how can you not get enough of them?” He sighs happily. “They always end good.”

“Alien ends good..” You pout, and hear him snort a little. “The cat lives.”

The movie starts, and you try to not zone out after the first ten minutes. Spinel makes several comments about ‘who the fuck is this guy? Where’s that guy she kissed in the last movie?’ and you get the joy of being the one to explain to her that sometimes, sequels are just Like That.

An hour or so in of you only half paying attention to the movie, and you think you see Spinel’s eyes droop.

Is she.. is she tired?

Another twenty minutes pass, and yeah, she’s definitely tired. She’s leaning against her hand on your beanbag again, a mere foot or so from yourself. You catch her drifting off a little - hand slipping - quietly startling herself awake. It’s so cute. You’ve never seen her this sleepy before. It’s strange, gems don’t get tired.. You think, briefly, of what that might imply. When was the last time she slept, you wonder? You worry a little about it - clearly she needs some rest if she’s nodding off right here. 

By the time the movie is done and the credits are rolling, she’s got half her head curled into her arm that’s digging into your side, completely asleep. It makes your heart swell to see her like this. Steven turns his bedside lamp on, illuminating most of the room in a warm glow.

“Well! I’m beat.” He says, grinning and turning his face to you. “Did Spinel like the movies?”

“I’d ask her, but..” You look at him, shrugging and pointing to her.

“Is she asleep?” He whispers, some of the others looking over in your direction and away from their quiet conversations. For some reason your heart rate speeds up.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting her to pass out. It isn’t really like her to be this tired.” You reply. Your legs are numb from lack of circulation, and you stretch them out in front of you.

“Spinel.. sleeps?” An eyebrow shoots up into his hairline that has you feeling strange about what you had just said.

“I mean, yeah? It’s not that weird, Amethyst does it sometimes.” 

“Yeah, that’s because I’m just lazy. But you don’t see me sleeping on you.” Amethyst chuckles lowly, a slow grin spreading on her face. 

“What the hell are you implying?” You ask, feeling your face start to heat up. 

“Nothing! She must trust you a lot is all, sleeping like that.” She laughs a little. “She looks kind of like a lapdog.”

“Don’t call her a dog, jeez.” You roll your eyes, pushing down the blush on your face. 

“Look at you, defending her even when she can’t defend herself, when earlier you were so easy to insult her.” Pearl says from across the room, putting a finger to her lip and looking smug. “You know…”

“Alright, enough picking on Y/N. I wanna go to bed.” Steven says with a yawn, and the others file out of his loft down the stairs without much of a fight.

“Does she have a bed in her new place?” You watch her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

“No, er, she has a bedroom though. Wasn’t expecting her to be the sleeping type, honestly. I’ll get with Bismuth tomorrow about it. Shouldn’t take long, though. She can sleep on the couch tonight if anything.” He says, taking his socks off and flinging them across the other side of his room into the pile of laundry he has there.

"Alright." You say, thinking about several things at once. Hm. She looks so soft right now, and it's taking like, all of your self control to not stroke her head. It sucks that you've got to wake her. 

Steven gets up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth before sleeping, and makes a comment about his floor better not ‘be occupied’ when he comes back. You roll your eyes, smiling at him fondly. You love his teen attitude.

Very gently, you shake Spinel's shoulders a little. You're actually surprised when she lifts her head a little, slow blinking and confusion all over her face. She's got lines pressed into her face where she slept a little too hard against her arm. It's extremely endearing. 

"Did I pass out?" She asks, rubbing her eyes but still looking very drowsy.

"Yeah. We finished the other movie. The others went off on their own, and Steven's going to sleep."

You lead the gem down the stairs, careful to not let her sleep-heavy self trip. You sit her on the couch, and walk away to grab the spare blankets from the cupboard for her. You pass Steven coming out of the bathroom on your way back over, him giving the both of you a peace sign and telling you to get decent sleep. He also apologises to Spinel in case she hears any snoring coming from him.

Once he’s out of sight, you place the spare blankets and pillow next to her on the couch. 

“Are you gonna be okay out here? Let me know if you need anything.” Leaning your hands on your hips, you give her a quick look-over. She’s tired, clearly, but a little more awake than before.

She looks at you hesitantly, like she wants to say something, but is unsure how.

"What?" You whisper at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Um.." She looks away momentarily, like she's nervous to admit something. It's making you anxious.

"Spit it out, Spinel." You say, and it comes out a little harsher than intended. 

"I don't know if I can sleep. I've had.. really bad nightmares every time I've tried, so I stopped trying. It's been weeks.." She trails off, avoiding your eyes. "That nap earlier was the most solid sleep I've had in a while."

Oh. You.. you weren't expecting her to say that. You feel horrible about it, actually..

"Do you want to sleep with me?" You hear the words coming out of your mouth, horrified at what it kind of implied. "I-I mean, um, maybe having another person next to you might help you sleep?" You quickly correct yourself, feeling your face heat up in mortification. Yeah yeah idiot, ask the gem to sleep with you god what the hell is wrong with you.

Thankfully, you think she’s too tired to really catch on to that, as she kind of looks a little.. sheepish when her eyes lock on to yours.

“You’re not just sayin’ that, right? To be nice?” You think you see her wring her hands nervously in her lap, and you’re confused by it. Why the hell is she nervous?

"You think I'm purposefully nice?" 

"Well.." She gives you a look. 

"Come on." You say with a sigh. "My bed is big enough for the both of us, and it's comfier than this couch." 

She follows you to your bedroom, and your heartbeats pick up pace. Calm down. Sure, this is like, completely new territory for the both of you. She's seen where you live, what you're like around other people, and now she's about to see your room. It almost feels.. strangely intimate. You have no idea why this particular thought puts you on edge. Like you're.. waiting on something. 

You open your bedroom door, the both of you shuffling inside and closing the door behind you with a solid click. She looks around at the walls, intrigued by many of the things you've put up as decoration. You watch her for a moment, your brain repeating the words 'Spinel is in my bedroom' like a mantra.

"Hmmm." Is all she says, and you feel a little insulted for some reason.

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me by saying that?"

"I like it. Reminds me of you." She gives you a cheeky smile, and you don't know if you'd rather slap her or kiss her.

All of a sudden you realize you're alone with her, like actually alone, without anyone having the ability to hear you. Not that there is anything to hear..

You shake your skull, dismissing the thoughts in your head. You're not going there today, brain. It's time to sleep.

"Before I lay down, I'm gonna change into better clothes. Make yourself comfortable." You say as you walk over to your closet, and immediately grab a tank top because you know you'll be warm. You also grab another pair of shorts. You make quick work of going out to the bathroom to change and to brush your teeth, and by the time you get back to your bedroom, she's looking at all the photostrips you have with Steven.

You pull back your blankets, sitting down on the surface of your bed and setting your phone on your nightstand.

"Aren't you tired?" You say with a yawn, and she turns to you. 

"Very." She's halfway to the bed when you stop her before she gets in, and she gives you a perplexed look.

"This is gonna sound weird, but I don't want you in my bed wearing those."

"My.. clothes?" She gives you a look, half a grin forming on her face - her canines shining a little in the dim light of your bedroom. "Are 'ya saying you want me in there naked?"

"No, stupid! It's just, you wear those clothes everywhere, and it feels unsanitary to-"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down you brat. I get it.” She gets this kind of.. excited look on her face, eyes brightening. “Am I gonna get to steal your clothes then?”

“Pick whatever you want from my closet I guess.” You say, and watch her rifle through your clothes.

“You have a lot of sweaters in here.” 

“Sweaters are comfy. They’re my favorite thing to wear.” You state, the feeling of being on edge still fully not going away. 

It’s strange, being this casual with her. Like you didn’t meet her under the circumstances you did, and didn’t go through all of that with her either. You haven’t really had many close friends in your life, but you like to think that if you had met her differently, you’d still eventually form some kind of tentative.. friendship, or whatever you call this, with her. Halfway friends, halfway something else. See now you’re just being too hopeful, because technically she hasn’t brought up feelings at all. Or that kiss. Or whatever the fuck she was going to say before she left you on the hill.

“-were you wanting to watch me change, or should I go to the bathroom?” You’re torn out of your thoughts by the sound of her voice, and you feel your face heat up as you tear your eyes away. How embarrassing. It's not like she can read your thoughts though, right? 

“Was spacing, sorry. I’ll look away.” You keep your face turned towards your phone, checking the time and thinking momentarily about setting an alarm. You hear the shuffling sounds of moving fabric and boots hitting the ground, and forego the alarm altogether. Who’re you kidding yourself, you’re not waking up early. 

Before you realize it, she’s pulling the covers away on the other side of you and you feel a weight dipping into the mattress beside you. You're getting jitters in your stomach as you turn to catch her eye, because she's got one of your oversized Sadie Killer band tees on that's large enough that the top half of her gem is peeking out, and her hair isn't up in twintails anymore and now you're just staring at this point. The fact that you can see the entirety of her neck as well as the area around her collarbones has you feeling some way that you just know is absolutely showing on your face. You've never seen her show this much skin.

"What.." She gets this sort of stubbornly shy look when she realizes you're staring at her, her cheeks coloring faintly. She looks so different like this.. vulnerable, mostly. She doesn't have her gloves on, and you're pretty sure she's wearing a pair of your shorts as well because you can see her bare legs. "Is there something on my face? Don't give me that look."

"No, I just wasn't expecting to see you with your hair down."

"It doesn't look weird does it?  I wasn't-"

"Shut up, you look cute.. and very non-threatening." You say, throwing in the jab with a bit of a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, scowling a bit. You think you see her cheeks darken ever so slightly, but it could also be a trick of the dim light in your room and the lines on her cheeks. You'd love to see just how far you can push those buttons of hers sometime. The look on her face when she's frustrated is probably one of your favorites, but you'd only ever admit that to yourself.

"Oh, I'll show you threatening.." She replies with a glint in her eye, the corner of her lips twitching. 

"Pfft, go to sleep. You're about as threatening as a chihuahua." You retort, feeling that smirk grow a little wider, but also seeing her reach for her cell phone. "Spinel, I forbid you from looking that up until the morning."

"Uggggggghhhh, you can't tell me what to do!" She flops down onto the bed next to you, magenta hair messily all around her head. She fixes it with a huff, giving you a dirty look that you find amusing as you lower yourself into the blankets you're sharing with her. "If I wasn't so tired I'd fight you."

"Oh, I'm sure." You reply with a chuckle, turning to the center of the bed to face her.

She turns her head to look at you, face drawn in a glare and yet her eyes are so very warm. Your eyes are caught here with hers for a moment, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Two.. three seconds pass, and you're pretty sure she's looking at your mouth. She looks like she's about to say something, her lips parting ever so slightly.

And then she flops over to her other side, and you're left laying there wondering what in the fuck was that.

Ugh. You hate girls. And aliens.

"Don't let me sleep forever." She mumbles, and you lean over to your lamp to switch it off.

"No promises." The room is blanketed in darkness in a single click, and you switch on your salt lamp before leaning your head down on your pillow, back flat against the bed. There's still a tiny bit of light coming from the glow of the moon through the blinds, and you pull your blanket up to your chest. You try getting comfortable, and it's.. fairly difficult when you're hyper aware of the person next to you.

"Would it be too much to ask if you could.. y'know.." You hear her say, almost too quiet for you to hear. You think your heart does a little backflip inside your chest.

"Are you asking me to cuddle you?!" You reply, barely being able to hold the mirth in your voice back.

You hear her sigh aggravatingly, and you roll over to put an arm around her waist before she can protest. 

"You are so annoying." She spits out.

"Whatever. I knew you liked being the little spoon." You grin smugly behind her back, siphoning all the warmth from her as you can. Your knees are almost hitting the back of hers, and because of how squishy your bed is, this is the closest you think you've ever been to her as you're basically flush with her body. It's comfortable, and intimate, and you're trying to not think about how easy it'd be to just.. confess your feelings to her.

"Shut it." You hear her say; and you just know she's rolling her eyes even if you can't see her, and smiling regardless. 

Silence envelops the both of you, and you're feeling sleep start to catch up with you when all of a sudden you feel her arm move, and then her soft fingers are tentatively being entwined with yours.

Your heart speeds up tremendously and all you can hear is the blood pounding in your ears. Your face is on fucking fire, and you can feel it. She has to know that you're having an internal fucking panic right now, you're like a hundred percent sure your hand is shaking. What the fuck do you do? Are you gonna talk about this? Is this what's happening? 

A mere minute passes that feels like a lifetime of you fighting with yourself. As soon as you open your mouth to say something, you hear steady sounds of breathing coming from her.

Oh.

She's fallen asleep holding your hand.

You blow out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and stifle the laugh that wants to come out of your mouth.

You think, maybe, that you love her.

You watch the back of her head until you get tired, and fall asleep fairly easily, her hand warm in yours.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Wife’s Hilda Rewatch - The Nightmare Spirit

I can’t believe this episode already began with the best sentence in the whole show.

“At least the last thing I did was be right.”

I propose everyone in the HFN tattoos this. Anyone with me?

David: She’s just a teenager. Most teenagers are a bit weird

Me, a teenager: omg you’re so right

“Well, Alfur is fun. The others [elves] are rather dull and tedious.” In how long is she going to meet the lost clan, again? *checks rewatch schedule*

One week. Okay, moving on.

I really love this screenshot. Look at how Done Frida is with her blueberry friend’s bs. She is so done.

“Once you’ve seen enough scary things, you don’t get scared anymore.” Isn’t... isn’t that trauma, though? I somehow don’t think that’s healthy at all. Hilda please don’t.

Scene from Ratatouille, 2007

Ahhhh, the scene where the Marra are all gathered around the campfire makes me want to go write Family Fights.

Btw, this one in the middle is the one who is the librarian’s sister in my fic. In case anyone was wondering (you probably weren’t but anyway).

And now, my friends, let me tell you a tale. There was once a girl, who was watching Hilda for the first time, back in 20 gayteen, and she loved it. She couldn’t pick a favorite character. She thought Hilda was exiting, Frida was relatable, Johanna was sweet, the Woodman was intriguing, and Alfur was adorable. There were barely any Hilda blogs on tumblr at that time, but she liked the show so much that she made one, called hilda-fanblog.

When she got to the minute 11:16 on the Nightmare Spirit episode, however, this girl died, never to be the same again. For she had met

HER TRUE LOVE. FROM THEN ON THE BLOG WAS CALLED THE-HILDA-LIBRARIAN-WIFE (grammatical error, I know, but I fixed it at last) AND SHE NEVER HAD DOUBTS ABOUT WHO HER FAVE WAS AGAIN. ALL HAIL.

I just realized something. Okay, so Hilda offered herself to talk to this Marra and solve the problem. Typical, right?

Actually, it’s not. She has faced other creatures before, but none of them were dark, or evil. The elves were fighting back, Trolls act out of instinct, the giants were actually sweethearts and Woodman... well, he’s Woodman. This is the first time we see Hilda facing a creature that is not only capable of harm, but also wishes to harm people, and she does it for her friend. Don’t touch me I’m weak.

Oh man I LOVE how David’s eyes tremble when Johanna shouts in surprise. I couldn’t take a screenshot so you’ll have to watch it yourselves, folks.

“Eating people won’t fill that void.” Amazing how the people who need therapy the most are usually the best at playing therapist.

Anyway, in past episodes I’ve been going on about Frida’s character development, but this episode had a lot of Hilda and David development. He showed true bravery and I’m so proud of him, and having Hilda face that she’s not immune to fear was so great. I love this episode. So rn we’re going to do...

Wife’s episode score!

+10 right of the bat for MY WIFE. MY WIFE!

+10 for this episode being so good it made me forget about taking a picture for the Hilda colour palete appreciation (I bet you hadn’t noticed!)

+5 for Alfur being willing to take part in what was actually a very dangerous plan.

+5 for David and Hilda development

+2 for the Marra and their great fic potential

Whoa, that sums up to 32! Anyone else loves this episode as well?

[spongerobertstudpants]

It's Emmerdale time!

First, I did break down and rewatch that scene when Aaron told Ben about receiving the divorce letter (because I'm getting obsessive again). And Ben didn't exactly sorry. What he said (with an attitude btw) was "so what did you want me to say, I'm sorry." Which, in my sane mind its got to be a writing error in yesterday's ep. But, I'm working with a theory here and so I'm going to find any loose thread and pull. Whew, on with the show!

Who exactly is covering the front desk of the vets when Pearl has moved into a caravan somewhere else and Vanessa is taking care of her mom?

Vinny is too good for this world to cover for his scum of a dad

I feel like we saw this scene 2 weeks ago...

I know that Aaron telling anyone about G*rdon is a big step, but his irritation feels misplaced. Because he didn't go into specifics with Ben. So unless we are to assume that it happened off screen (which is pretty hard since they seem to end things before they ever happen by Thursday's eps) it just seems like the writers just forced this angst into the sl. And its hard to not notice.

I really want someone to smack Jamie. Where's the murder rock when you need it?

Fuck off Jaime

Haha, Aaron working??? That's a laugh 😆

That was the one scene that made the most sense out of all of this! Aaron just putting a stop to it all between Ben and him. Of course, give it 2 weeks and we'll be back in the same cycle!

I can handle Paddy so much more when he is in scenes with Marlon and Marlon only.

Oh, thats weird hearing Lisa's voice again.

Liv, honey, he did meet the right bloke, but he is currently serving 14 years in prison.

But I do agree with Liv, Aaron is going to have to tell whomever he starts seeing eventually. He just might need to learn to spend more than a day with them so that he could learn to trust them before.

Also Aaron needs a friend! These past couple of days haven't been too bad as far as Aaron confiding in Liv, but he needs someone else to talk to every once and awhile. When he talked with Faith about his scars before he made the next step with Alex, is not a conversation I want to see between Aaron and Liv. Although, I think since we've seen it already, it probably won't come up again (but thats a big probably).

Mandy must not know how good of an arrangement it is to have a wedding planner next door

Uh... that would have been you Andrea

I hate saying this, but bringing in Belle's mental illness is making me more interested in this sl. It makes me livid at Jaime and Andrea. And just fuels my need to see justice to done. But I also just don't trust these producers.

I really like Vinny and Liv scenes. More of that! Less of Aaron and Liv

Like I said earlier! Mandy is an idiot regarding the salon and wedding planners!

Belle, please tell someone what is going on! Or maybe go see a counselor.

Jaime you little piece of shit...

------------------------------------------------

Even though I am complaining through these eps and yesterday's, they are still so much better than last week!

Also can't wait to see what happens in 2 weeks when Aaron and Ben decide to go for a drink, something goes wrong, Aaron is playing video games and then confides in Liv, and one of them tries to apologize all within 2 days of eps. Some fun times ahead for us all! (Sorry, I had to get that last dig in 😉)

I hope you all have a great day!

[claudiasharon]

Arrr matey!

I am laughing, someone p*rated my Anxiety trait and is sharing it elsewhere. Idk p*rated isn’t the right word, but guess what? It is already free so idk why it is being shared on this MEGA folder for Patreon shit. It amuses me, but it is weird af.

I guess I am honored someone deemed my trait worthy of sharing elsewhere? LOL whatever. I prefer ppl to dl from my tumblr, MTS, or T$R account instead (though I may put my T$R shit on my tumblr bc they r trash, and some already are on here) but idk.  Still fucking funny.

Sims 4 updates! below for my careers, mods, and traits (I got rambly lol):

Oh, and I am going to be redoing my Depression and ADHD traits to make them better, harder, faster, stronger. xD But really, I will update them and fix them, etc soon. I am posting my new mod today in like 30 mins btw, or after my son has his breakfast. Which means maybe an hour lmao.

Yay new mod! Yay new Career!!!

Also, anyone that has dled my Career for Bots from TS3 to TS4 update recently, please lemme know if there are any issues...for some reason I don’t get an LE or anything but Scumbumbo (RIP) ‘s Conflict Detector tells me there’s some odd error with the script.

Which is odd because I did it via Neia’s tool, so I didn’t do any of the coding work really. So idk what the issue is! My new career works fine so far, and the Conflict Detector says it is fine too, including the script, so idk what is with the Bot Arena career. Help?

I noticed @midnitetech has the same issue with some of their career scripts. Do you know why, @midnitetech?

[vaguely-concerned]

empire of ivory here we go!

previous temeraire let’s read here

- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????

- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:

(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)

he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time

- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream

- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering

- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)

- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet  

- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him

laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius

- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in

- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m  d e v a s t a t e d  at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time

also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like

- oh thank god

- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader

- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it

- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world

okay back to our regularly scheduled content   

- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this

(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)

also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*

- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork

(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)

- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef

- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t

- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself

- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3

(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)

- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william

like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it

- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia 

- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE

temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so

- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill 

- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it

really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome

- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot

- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff

- oh thank god

- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you

I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament

- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay

- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it

- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay?? 

- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude

- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again

- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect

- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus

- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)

- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right? 

(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)

- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(

- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY

- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”

:) this is... fine

(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)

- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i

- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she

I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone

- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is

- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek 

also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)

It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character

- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here

- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW

 - I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha) 

I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)

maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings