#OH BITCH I WANT TO READ THEM I WANNA KNOW WHAT KIND OF IMPACT THEY LEFT ON Y'ALL

[sovamurka]

*slowly adds ‘read Balor/Yana fics on AO3 since I somehow forgot their tag existed there’ to my to-do list*

[kaontic]

*Long Post*

*Checks Decepticon emails* Oh, here we go. (¬_¬") 💻

*Reads* You forgot my builtday?! What kind of human slave are you if you can’t even remember this important date? (¬_¬)

*Types back* One that wanted to celebrate their mom’s 55th birthday? 🤨

Yeah. What a shame, right? That she’s gotta share the day she entered this universe with the likes of you. # ⸨◺_◿⸩ #

(Cool fact I guess but still, why? 😭)

Tho I guess I should thank you for remindin’ me, cuz here’s my late builtday present: i’m gonna expose ya once and for all. >:D *Sends*

*Closes* Aaaaaaaaaaaand, I got less than 24 hours left to live, so… :/

You know how everyone always argues about his OG alt mode, that I surprisingly got obsessed with (by reason of insanity bein’ a concept that allows for SO MUCH creativity in a franchise that encourages it via lore + toys), and wanna copy paste everywhere?

Reflector: Yeah. No scrap. Don't say anythi— 📷

Me: *Tosses into chute* Right. Ok— 👏 

Million Shanix question: Why does Megatron, of all TF characters, in his alt mode have to literally put his fate into another’s servos/hands?

Well, that’s the thing.

He doesn’t. (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's the same case with Shockwave (who interestingly, I never see anyone criticize despite them both bein' laser guns, but whatever, this ain't about him tonight 🙂‍↔️)

Furthermore, if Megatron can fly in his robot mode, then flying/levitating as a gun shouldn't sound as implausible, right? (ᵕŏᴗŏ)

(I mean it sure does sound funny, but also terrifying, since he can freeze midair, aim with near-perfect accuracy and fire at will)

Oh yeah, and Soundwave's still capable of flight too as a microcassette recorder.

Megatron: Soundwave! WTH!? Come back!

(Ok, at least with him it's just funny. Maybe he can blast [insert appropriate music here] while he's at it)

So knowin' this, why does Megatron still pull this damn stunt, if he's quite capable of doin' it all on his own?

People also wonder why Starscream can't just "accidentally" drop Megs, and then stomp him out like a bug that's not as innocent.

Well, good fraggin’ luck Star, cuz as soon you let him go, he’s gonna go, and if you didn’t wanna let him go, and he wants to go?

He will go.

If you manage to grab hold of his stock, that’s detachable (and the same goes for his silencer), so he's just gonna end up whoopin’ your aft for that with his stock.

But fine, let's say that Megs is on the ground unconscious, and you somehow sneak up on him with heated thrusters via your afterburners.

Still not gonna work, my guy… I think.

(Like look at his face plate here, he knows there’s no point in tossin’ Megs under all those fallin' rocks 😂)

He's a metal cockroach (which is an insult to cockroaches, and for that I apologize), but then again, with the way he takes on damage inconsistently in G1, I don't even fraggin' know guys. (-_-)ゞ

(This bitch survived an explosion powerful enough to move Cybertron, yet panicked over “antimatter” energon)

(He also didn’t give a frag over the same concern in “War of the Dinobots”—)

Um...maybe cuz his alt mode is a denser state to be in, he's more durable and can withstand harder impacts?

My brain: Wait, so shouldn’t he be heavier after all or—?

My heart: Shuddup, it’s science fiction. Enjoy it. We don’t need to get lectured on physics.

Brain: But this is my way of enjoying it—

Heart: SHUSH!

I mean he transformed into his alt mode to save himself when he fell off a cliff in the Marvel comics…and still sustained brain damage. :/

Yeah, we ain't half-battlin' scrap with that info, Duke, and that's why we pick our battles. Wisely.

*Proceeds to list gun mode advantages in no particular order*

Ok, this? This is the creative/fun alt mode s**t I wanna see more of, Hasbro!

You wanna know the reasons/ways in which the alt mode Teletraan I bestowed upon him can be strategic/useful/just plain fun, dammit? (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ 📷❗️

1.

He shouldn’t need to worry about wastin’ the valuable energy he’s savin’ for a fight with Op, since his Seekers can easily fly him to wherever they gotta go in their cockpits (along with the rest of the High Command who also have small alt modes excluding Star, what a coincidence)

Yeah, with the way he tires out during crucial moments in this war (with it bein’ an energy crisis, and oh, the human allies providin’ energy to the Autobots), if he just stayed in his alt mode as much as possible, and continued orderin' everyone around that way, “only the idiots would question” him, as he can put it

In short, the less he can do in order to conserve energy, the more of a chance he’ll have to win for once lol

That indeed means someone else with high-quality optical sensors, who’s committed to the cause, aimin’ and pullin’ the trigger for him

2.

When you’re in a battle, and it’s chaotic as hell, what are your optics gonna draw to? The weapon? Or the enemy that’s holdin’ the weapon?

Oh, most Cybertronian laser weapons come in neutral colors?

Well scrap, good luck spottin’ him

I think it gets even worse when he mass shifts to scale with a human’s hand, as the smaller he gets, the harder it’ll become to locate/hit him as a target. Then you gotta worry about human civilians, and oh boy—

3.

Apparently, all the energy that’s in his barrel ends up bein’ more concentrated, precise and deadly than in his scope (the fusion cannon), which is also detachable

Yeah, a barrel def ain’t fraggin’ detachable lmao

4.

If Starscream starts actin’ up, once again, Megs can just go into a Seeker’s cockpit and conduct business in there

Nova Storm would be a damn good choice too, since if they can survive the chromosphere, it could mean that (in order to get to that layer) they can survive the much hotter corona of the Sun

We're talkin' millions of degrees Fahrenheit/over 200,000 degrees Celsius here, so maybe take advantage of that sometime 😑

Yeah, Star couldn’t any give less of a scrap about other Seekers (or anyone) the same way Megs couldn’t, but neither of ‘em wanna make it that obvious, ya know?

5.

Eh, I guess his alt mode is a good way for him to sharpen his stealth skills

(Obviously it’s not his style, but it’s like swimmin’. Even if you aren’t a fan of pools/the ocean, you should still know how to swim if given the chance, just in case)

Like seein’ a camera, or a microcassette recorder (in the 80s) is normal, even neat, but if there’s one thing you never wanna see, it’s a gun. So humans conceal them

I think that’s a good enough motivator for Megs (who loves a challenge, don cha know?) to finally suck it up and start takin’ that s*** seriously

Cuz idk, if human militaries start armin’ themselves with Cybertronian tech (*sighs* as if nukes weren’t enough), he’s gonna need to know how to hide from humanity’s wrath, just sayin’

Can’t hide a tank as easily no matter how much ya camouflage ‘em (still love that alt mode tho, so triple changer Megs all the fraggin' way y'all)

Oh in that situation, every Decepticon with a large alt mode would be screwed, huh? 😂

6.

He can try and lure a human without an amplified voice in order to… best case scenario have Reflector steal all their MLP merch

Or he can choose to indulge in the art of scarin' the absolute s**t outta people (can't easily sneak up on a human as a giant robot, can ya?)

7.

If Megs is for whatever reason merely incapacitated during a battle, someone can flip him over the same way Prime did in "The Insecticon Syndrome" to transform him—and either hightail it outta there (once again, smaller target to hit), or use him, well, as a goddamn weapon

Trust me, he won't mind

This also works for when he gets drunk and passes out

Cuz gettin' severely injured instead, means that flippin' him over might be too risky, hence why Soundwave carried him in robot mode in the movie (if Megs can't move his limbs, that's a bad sign)

8.

Enemies: So, the rumors are true: your leader really is smaller than a minicon. (Lol he must be weak—) *Continue makin’ a bunch of assumptions*

Skywarp: *Looks around* I give it 20 astroseconds. *Tosses Megs + teleports away*

Enemies: What—? *Get mercilessly demolished cuz they let their guard down/got distracted smh*

Skywarp: *Teleports back* Mmm, 20…3.

*Gets lightly hit in the arm* Ow—

Megatron: You count too fast.

/ Y'all, if Skywarp was a better fighter/gunslinger combined with his teleportation... he would cook fr

9.

Nervous turned super confused new recruit: *Stops bowing* Wait, he’s the gun? The leader of the Decepticons?

Skywarp: *Holding Megs* Mm-hmm. Here, take him.

New recruit: *Stares* That’s Megatron?

Skywarp: Yep, in the metal. Take him. Just don’t shoot yet, got it?

New recruit: Yet? Is that allowed? Can he—? Are you sure, or is this some kind of trick?

Skywarp: Yep, yep and soon, yep—I-I mean no—I mean—

Just say “test” next time. *Stuffs him into their arms + adjusts* There.

New recruit: ( ´･_･`)

Skywarp: Feel different?

New recruit: *Looking down* I don’t understand.

Skywarp: See, that’s the best part: you don’t need to understand anything, just that if you do as he says, and you have good aim, you’ll stay in one piece. Isn’t that great? :D

He needs us just as much as we need him. Simple as that.

New recruit: *Thoughtful + in awe* Yeah… (人´∀`)

I-I’m sorry sir, this is just such a huge honor—

Megatron: Oh no, the honor's all yours.

New recruit: Really? (Oh right—) Sir?

Megatron: Why, of course. You should be commended for making such a wise decision.

Many do not, and for that our planet bears the brunt of their weakness.

New recruit: How many?

Megatron: Don’t worry, they will repent in time, for the fate of Cybertron is in your very servos.

Skywarp: *Ruining it* Well not just your servos, but the many servos of…um…“like-minded individuals”. :D

Megatron: Skywarp.

Skywarp: You’re gonna be fine.

I should go, I’ll just go, you know, with…things to do, and… Peace. *Teleports*

Megatron: We can get things done too, yes?

New recruit: Yessir.

Megatron: *Slips away from their hands + transforms* Good, we'll start now.

New recruit: *Gets led away* O_O

/ Aw, what a nice, smart and humble leader who just wants to save his home planet from all the stupid robots 🥺

Hey, when you get to know him, you’ll realize that he’s actually so down-to-earth, and he'll even literally give himself to you because he cares that much and doesn't want you to be so helpless

He fights and works so hard for everyone and our home, that it's only fair for us to do the same, right? How can he possibly be a bad guy?

Yeah, he can get angry and touchy sometimes, and make costly mistakes sometimes, but he's just stressed, everyone gets stressed

They just don't get it and refuse to even try, and everyone is suffering as a result :(

They're the problem, not us, and they keep getting in our way

Our way is the only way that matters. Their ways are scrap

They. Are. Scrap. And should be treated as such

They should suffer, just as much as they’ve made us suffer

And that, my friends, is how your spark/soul becomes his to handle 😄

(Frag yeah, peace through tyranny! ( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و)

10. Like this. ‘Nuff said

No seriously, ‘nuff said—this post’s long enough as it is. 😅

I know I’ll come up with more gun mode s***, but for now, I’m just gonna arm myself with an eraser and await the death stick.

PS: You know what? Tank mode's funnier.

[barin-mclegg]

Whatever, one more time.

This is not about Gaza specifically. This is not about anyone specifically. "Help two trans women pay rent" is also 'fundraiser or whatever" territory. I do not see how that makes me racist

I'm not actively stating anyone should die, that I don't pay to any charities, that my life is miserable, that I won't ever reblog. I could just as well be funding half of an orphanage in Kenia, or donating to a local homeless shelter, etc etc. You'll never know, because that classifies as private information, and you're mostly assholes that don't deserve jackshit from me.

I specifically said that I don't want people to send them to me. Personally. So, put them in my messages, in my asks (not relevant bc my ask box is permanently broken, but the point), don't tag me specifically. For two of those 3, you need to specifically go to my blog anyway. So this is the best way to make it clear it won't do anything but waste both of our time and energy. I think this is the most respectful way of making that clear.

Yeah it causes me stress to see fundraisers of all kinds in the wild. Whatever. Your blog, your business. I just don't interact, if there's a tag I block it, I just don't want to be there. Again, I think this is the most respectful way of dealing with it.

My personal situation, mental and physical health, exact fucking age (menta or physical), and all that buzz, is none of your business. Fuck right off. Any judgements made about me when I was being actively harassed and getting torture threats, death threats, and suicide baiting is NOT ACCURATE. Wanna guess why? That's right! Emotionally distressing situations have impact on someone's behavior and wellbeing! If you've harassed me, you're the bad person here. I don't care, yes you are.

I DO care. Again, emotionally distressing situation. I said more shit I don't mean, or at least not in the way that it'll be read by, again, people that don't KNOW OR UNDERSTAND ME. I care that bad shit happens in the world, but I can't do shit about it, so I mostly choose not to talk about it or educate myself. This also means I have no opinion on said subjects, because I'm not a fucking dickhead about not knowing things, like most of you.

Yes, my shittiness at communicating IS part of my disability. "ohh disbaility can't do that" Ohhhh so if you can decide why people can't do shit than maybe you should decide that everyone should have a cool life and be a reasonable person, huh? Shut up. You're just a big bitch, at this point. Yes, it's disability, yes, I'm diagnosed, no, you can't fucking know anything more than that. Or are you going to tell my your full medical history and home address? And proof that you're not making shit up? Because then we can talk about the terms of me telling you anything about myself.

To the reasonable people: I greatly appreciate how unhatable you are.

To everyone in general: I, too, am reasonable when not being actively attacked. Try talking to me now. Actually, don't I'm glad for the silence. Also, don't call me a faggot, we're not buddies, you don't get slur rights.

I in no way see how what happened between me and 3000s on the eel post is YOUR business. Most of you are just miserable drama chasers, and I think that's way sadder than curating your internet experience to your best efforts. Go smash some plates or jerk off or something, jesus christ. "Ohhh but I'm traumatized/in an abusive situation/whatever I can't do thattt" Oh my god that's the funniest response anyone could ever give to this. Ohhh god. That's so funny. Ah well, I can only dream, since reblogs are going off again as soon as I hit reblog on this. If your response is something like that do actually send it though it's sooo funny.

Have a reasonably alright day. I know that's what I'm doing, at least.

Don't send fundraisers or whatever to me.

[hoodiewithhorns]

━  using your safeword scenarios p.3 !★

genre : hurt/comfort smut.

characters : f! reader x sakusa, matsukawa, kenma

p.1  + p.2 + m.sterlist + requests  

(please read the rules before requesting ty.)

▼ cw : not proof read, use of safeword, neglect , unprotected sex, degradation , clit spanking ( 1 ), impact play ( sakusas part ), mentions of exe(s), caught masturbation (reader) , pillow humping, thigh riding, implied punishment, kinda crybaby reader, implied cockwarming, cheating (?), angst, established relationship, all characters are 18+, MDNI ▲

different safewords used this time <3

- ty to the anons and user @/please-take-me-to-the-moon for the scenarios <3 

sakusa 

word count : 1.4k

you knew better than to do this, humping your dearly beloved boyfriends pillow with just your cotton panties, a loose shirt with no bra under, like a bitch in heat, desperate for friction of any kind. You knew if he had caught you like this he would punish you that was guaranteed. however, in the literal heat of the moment you didn’t care. sakusa’s constant pattern of coming home the minute you were already fast asleep in your shared bed, never being able to fill the void of need in your little cunt. 

〜　☆

Considering he’d let this slide since its been a month since you’ve two have done anything sexual, these thoughts only making you hump his pillow even more desperate leaving a pool of your arousal staining his pillow, with the occasional soft whimpers of his name. losing yourself in your own lust, You didn’t hear the sound of the door clicking open.

Sakusa, leaving his practice early since his performance was unfavorable by the shitty mood he was in, lashing out on his teammates for the smallest things they’d do and so many more. in short, his team suggested he’d stay home t’ill he cooled down. 

“y/n? i’m home.”he walked around the empty apartment accompanied by the muffles of your soft moans, trying to find you as quickly as possible, obviously knowing it was you. he opened the bedroom door slowly and quietly. his eyes grew wide at the scene in front of him. 

still not noticing his presence in the door frame you continued humping his pillow feeling your high approach, but leave you since you needed him. 

“tch.” clicking his tongue at you in disapproval. you flinched letting go of his pillow to face him, feeling your heart race when you made eye contact with him, arms folded and a look of disgust planted on his pale face. Your eyes already filling up with tears knowing what comes next. “m’ y-yoomi! w-welcome home-”

“who the fuck gave you permission to touch yourself?” cutting you off, walking towards the bed, he pinned you down to the bed, arms on your sides, hovering over you with his dead, cold, heartless gaze cutting through you, as you tried to look away in shame only earning you a slap to the face to make you look at him. the sting causing you to choke out a sob. praying internally that he’d let you off the hook just this once. you were just needy for him.he has to understand that, right?

“answer me, right.now.”

“n-no one yoomi... i’m s-sorry please don’t wanna be punished!” you pleaded to him only making him more angrier. he grabbed your jaw making you whimper at the tight grip. scanning you top to bottom, eyeing at the wet patch on your underwear. 

“then why did you huh? couldn’t wait until i got home couldn’t you? needy fucking thing.” he tutted, letting go of your jaw harshly, tugging your panties down to your knees already feeling impatient himself by how his cock hardened through his shorts. despite wanting to punish you, he wanted you. needed you to be precise.

 the man hasn’t felt you in a whole month how could he not miss his girlfriends tight slutty cunt? removing his volleyball shorts letting his cock spring free, he strokes himself a few times before lining himself against your cunt, letting a small sigh when you felt his hard tip touch your soaked entrance. 

feeling slightly relief you were finally gonna feel him after so long. That feeling of relief however didn’t last long when he slammed his fat cock inside you without warning. you let out a yelp, hands immediately going to his chest hoping for him to not bruise your cervix from how deep he was already. he growled when he felt your palms try and stop him, so he slapped your hands away roughly marking them red. 

“b-but yoomi please it hurts..it h-hurts” 

you figured he didn’t hear you. but he was too focused on punishing you to care if it hurt or not. so you pleaded again for him to slow down. finally getting a response from him.

“shut up you disgusting whore.you brought this on yourself, touching yourself while your boyfriends away.”

“...dirtying up his fucking pillow while he’s gone. how fucking pathetic.”  he spits, slapping your clit harshly in attempt to get you to shut up. his degrading not having a hint of reassurance anywhere like it usually does when he fucks you. normally, he’d call you his “slut” or his whore but never ever calling you a disgusting one at most, what did this mean?..you asked yourself, mind going hazy with fear. feeling like your boyfriend finds you disgusting for your actions, and not a single trace of love or concern for you, not even noticing how you tried inching yourself away from his pace. 

sakusa was a mean dom yes, but he cared about you and your boundaries and right now it seemed like he didn’t care about any of those.

too focused on his own pleasure, not realizing you slowly started to breakdown in front of him, hands to your eyes shaken from how hard he hit them, as more tears fell to stain your cheeks.

“n-no not disgusting..i-i’m...so sorry..sakusa..just missed you.” you muttered no longer feeling the long needed pleasure of his cock, only feeling a painful discomfort in your chest as if your heart was gonna burst out of it at any minute. he was caught off-guard by you calling him by his last name, but that didn’t stop the brutal pace on your sloppy cunt. repositioning his hand to your hips digging his nails in your sides, bound to leave marks to be seen in the morning. 

“addressing me by my last name? what you think thats gonna make things better?”he muses, his pace speeding up making you whimper. you’ve just about had enough.

“germs! g-germs! no more, i don’t like this!! y-you’re hurting m-me sakusa... please s-stop..stop.” screaming your safeword, trying to get him off you, you pushed with the little strength in you with your fragile hands. it wasn’t enough but he got the message. blinking a few times to make sure he processed the current situation.

he sighed pulling his cock out watching you with wolf eyes as you softly cried to yourself, turning to your side. he didn’t say anything he just laid down beside you. sneaking an arm around your waist, face buried in your neck. he planted some soft kisses onto it trying to make you relax. if he was being brutally honest, he didn’t know what to do.

you never used your safeword and even if it didn’t show in his face, he was pretty frightened. watching you tense up and shake around him all because of him.

“ y-yoomi..im sorry-”

“don’t be.”

he rubs your hands with his thumb in slow but comforting circles, seeing its still red from being slapped away by him, along with him kissing your cheek to simmer down the sting from earlier. god he felt so bad, but was so scared at the same time, all he wanted to do was hold you close..

..and thats what he did, watching you curl up to his chest. The room was silent for a few minutes that felt like hours gone by. you looked up at him with the look you always gave him. Full of love and adoration even with puffy eyes and hurt in your chest you still loved him.

He looked down noticing the soft smile you gave him as if nothing happened. Titling his head in confusion he asks

“why are you smiling? aren’t you upset..at me?”

you shook your head at him, “no yoomi I’m not mad. My body kinda hurts yes, but I’m glad to have you home...i missed you so much I’m sorry i touched myself without permission...”

he lightly smiles at you kissing your lips softly.

“it’s okay. tomorrow we’ll have the day all to ourselves and we can do whatever you want my love. I’m sorry i was so mean... i was having a bad day and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

you paused leaning in closer to his chest as you mumbled.

“can we...take a bath together yoomi?”

“oh sure...here i’l carry you.”

needless to say, you forgave him and gave him one last kiss before going to bed.

kenma

word count : 886

kenmas work schedule was god awful since he was practically up to play games and just that leaving you feeling needy and neglected. you hated it. 

but tonight you were just, so needy and couldn’t stand this constant neglect.

No matter how many times you touched yourself of grind against something it couldn’t compare to the way kenma would stuff you with his cock.

he wasn’t a super harsh dom leaning towards a mix of soft and mean, but he still prioritized your needs before his. and tonight you were gonna get that version of kenma.

walking towards the couch he was playing his games at slowly, with nothing but his hoodie and knee highs. you bit your lip standing in front of him, fiddling your thumbs out of nervousness. He titled his head to remove you from his line of sight to see the tv screen better making your heart ache just a little, being so used to it already.

taking a deep breath you sat in between on of his thighs wrapping your arms around his neck making him let out a groan of annoyance to your needy antics.

he continued to play his game acting as if you weren’t there and nothing changed. it all came to a halt when he felt you grinding on his thigh, letting out small cries of his name.

“baby.... please” you mumbled facing his disinterested face not even sharing a glance at you as he continued to move his thumbs around his controllers joystick. He didn’t even pay mind to the fact you were borderline naked either.

“five minutes pretty girl.” he muttered still too absorbed in his game. You pouted shifting your legs to be wrapped around him now, wet cunt on top of his crotch rubbing against him lightly. Making him flinch at the sudden friction. giving you hope he’d give you what you want now. you smirked continuing to grind against him making him bite back a grunt. 

“ugh what are you doing?” he said clearly annoyed by your antics already.

your face became red while placing your hands on his shoulders slowly starting to grind against his growing bulge. “want your attention kenma please need you so bad.” you begged hoping he’d give you something anything really.

but being kenma, he went back to his video games. your pout returning once more. “but kenma, please i really really need you.” you continued with your antics and he paused his game, putting his controller on the coffee table. 

“fine you want me so fucking bad?” he grabs you by the hips making you yelp as he throws you down the couch. back hitting the cushions while he takes your legs and wraps them around his waist.

he pulls down his sweats pumping himself a few times as he rolls his head back, holding back his grunts. he slowly slides his cock into you, being easy to do considering how wet you were already for him. 

he groans as he bottoms out inside you starting steady, but slowly picking up the pace to be more..brutal.

“k-kenma..m’ feels good thank you thank you” you rambled out praises making him grab you by the throat to thrust into you faster. 

“god you’re so fucking annoying bothering me because you wanted to get your cunt stuffed like a little slut while i fucking work.” he scoffs making your eyes shoot open at him.

“such a fucking annoying little slut.” he continues his degradation thr grip on your throat not loosening. you felt you eyes grow teary as he continued to call you more vulgar names with the sprinkle of him calling you annoying. 

“ c-console...” you mumbled wrapping your hands on his wrists, making him let go of your throat. he froze getting closer to your face as he pulls out slowly.

“huh? Whats wrong does it hurt?” he asks rubbing away your tears with the pad of his thumb. 

your lip quivered as more tears started to form. “...i-im annoying...?” you looked him in his eyes as more broken sobs leave you.

“I just wanted some attention kenma...you’re always so busy sometimes I don’t even think you remember i exist..” you muttered feeling small under his cat like stare. 

he sighed kissing your cheek, falling to your. side feeling his breath hit your neck. “sorry baby i swear i didn’t mean it...you’re not annoying its my fault for not giving you attention.” he admits as you wrap around him. 

“y-you promise you didn’t mean it?” you ask once more. he sneaks a hand under your head to lift you up to his chest, patting your head softly. 

“ i promise. here why don’t you sit on my lap, we can do that thing you wanted to try last week...” he looks away embarrassed, you tilt your head in confusion but then realize what he was referring to. you nodded joyfully wrapping your arms around his neck, he adjusts himself for you to line up to take him. he  slowly puts you back down on his cock. hissing at the returning feeling.

He smiled kissing your forehead lightly as he hugged you tight. 

“better my love?”

“mhm mhm!” you said placing your head on his shoulder as you relax into him. slowly drifting away into sleep. its not much, but at-least it stuffs your very needy cunt.

matsukawa 

word count : 615

what lead to this? you two were just on a simple date together at a nearby mall shopping together, looking at upcoming movies, stopping by a few manga stores and bakeries to treat yourselves. overall, just enjoying the time shared together. 

that is t’ill the two of ran into your ex. issei watching the two of you talk to each other not realizing how uncomfortable you really were, hiding it with a friendly facade of course going unnoticed by him since he was practically death glaring your ex. 

he was basically third wheeling in your conversation with your ex. you would side eye issei hoping he’d pull you out of your situation but it was too late since his mind was cloudy with jealousy and rage.  

now, leading up to your current predicament. a heavy make-out now leading to a degradation fest.  

“aw whats wrong little slut can’t take me, fucking pathetic much?” he teases pounding you at a faster pace. “can’t believe my own fucking girlfriend was just there being all friendly to her ex..what don’t tell me you still want him?” he muses making you rapidly shake your head. 

“ no i don’t i swear issei..just wan’ you..”you muttered eyes growing puffy from how cruel he spoke to you as he continued to suggest away of how would get him back since it seemed like you missed him from how friendly you were acting.

growing quiet at his words trying to tune out his words. it’ll all be over soon anyways, you just had to hold on a bit you told yourself. of course you were an idiot for letting him keep going. 

“ maybe i should go ask how kimi’s doing act all friendly and nice towards her.” you tuned into what issei had said in horror at what he just said.

kimi, his much prettier ex who t’ill this day wasn’t over him and he knew this. throwing it in your face as he darkly chuckled at you. you removed your arms that were wrapped around his neck pulling him close. and cupped your face in your hands at the thought of your boyfriend going back to his ex. leaving you alone again.

he wouldn’t right? even though she was much prettier in every feature she had compared to you. he wouldn’t right..? right? 

“f-funeral...“you sniffled making him stop all his movements and lock eyes with you. your safeword ringing in his ears. 

“hey..hey no i didn’t mean it...” he quickly pulls you towards him, pulling you out of him and hugging you tight. he rocks you softly back and forth in his embrace letting all your bottle up feelings burst onto him.  he quick to comfort you and pepper a few kisses on your face.

“ issei..” you mumbled against his chest. he rubs your back looking down at you.

“yes baby..?” his voice shaken with worry hoping you weren’t too mad at him.

“ i-i don’t miss him.. i was only being nice..i was uncomfortable talking to him why didn't you..” he internally punches himself for being so blind and not being able to see by all your movements how uncomfortable you were just breathing the same air as your ex.

he was too blinded by his jealousy to realize his poor baby was scared. he mumbled a curse before apologizing.

“i’m sorry baby i didn’t realize he was making you uncomfortable i should've done something..” his eyes wander away from you.

“ i was just jealous..” he admits

“but issei.. you’re all i want.” you say kissing his cheek and he smiles gracefully. 

“am i-i all you want sei?”

“ duh pretty baby. everything  i want and need.”

matsukawas is so short i’m so sorry ahhhh but i hope u all enjoyed <3

[slutdery]

See you looking right here, don’t hesitate.

make a wish series.

A series (for each member of the unit) about their lines in make a wish (english version).

pairing | taeyong x fem!reader

genre | smut, fluff (ig)

words | 3.8k

warning | knife play, degradation, one time sex, dom!taeyong, mature content, oral (m receiving).

author’s note | my native language isn’t english, so if there’s something wrong with anything i wrote tell me and i’ll edit it...

You know that one wish? That one u'd die to fulfill? Everyone have plenty of them, but you had the chance to make one of them come true and was still difficult to believe that this invitation came to you.

You were invited to one of the most famous ball around Korea, that's something to celebrate. 'Why?' well, that's actually a simple question for you to answer. Being a photographer had its privileges. They asked you to photograph a ball with the richest people all around Asia. It was a dream to attend to that kind of event, but only selected people could go, by "Selected." means rich. Yeah, those ones that brags about themselves whenever they can and humiliate the others for not being one of them. You really hated rich people with all of your heart, but you couldn't miss the chance to go somewhere like that.

Already inside of the taxi heading to the Lee's house, where the ball would occur. You could say you were nervous, but you didn't had time for that. When you work with rich people like these ones, the secret is to be ready for whatever may come. And of course that phrase they always says "Know your place." You'll be there to work, so you have to know the place you belong and thank god is not where they are.

🌟

The house is stunning. That kind of ones that you just see in magazines and everyone wishes to live, the perfect one.

After getting your equipment ready you started taking photos of the rich fucks. It was a work that you loved doing, besides you had the chance to photograph the insides of the house. The little plants next to giants panting, details in the ceiling and that incredible chandelier in the middle of the room.

You'v decided to sit a little bit, cause your legs hurt for walking with big heels. Your attention was focused to the people dancing at the center of the room, all of them elegantly swinging to one side then another. It was something nice to see.

But then your eyes spotted a incredible good looking guy sat on the other side of the room. He had pretty big eyes and a chin that would cut your thumb if you touched. His body proportions were amazing, he was tall and thin. But you caught your eyes looking at his pretty hands, he wore many rings in those long fingers, that made it sexier than already was. Your stare got back to his face, he was the prettiest "hottest." man that you'v ever saw, and you wouldn't forget his face for a long time. You stood there for minutes fascinated by his little details that you didn't even saw his piercing gaze running through your body. When you realized that his eyes were reading all of yours moves while smirking, your brain stopped functioning for a second, was it just you or it got really hot? You washed your thoughts away and repeated to yourself 'You're here to work.', with that in mind you stood up and got back to photographing the rest of the ball.

🌟

After finishing  your job and keeping the camera on a safe place, you started walking through the big room. Actually there weren't much time left to enjoy the ball, since all the people were already leaving, but it was still a fun event. Besides now you had a new guy to stalk and dream of one day kissing him. After the good looking guy came to your mind, you searched for him all over the place, but he wasn't anywhere near. Unfortunately. The only thing left was to enjoy the last minutes in heaven. Walking through an hallway that got your attention as you passed by. Pretty decorations all over the way.

"You shouldn't be here."

A hoarse voice reached your ears making you freeze as you felt the impact of it. After realizing where the voice came you turned to where the incredible good looking guy was. ‘He's even more pretty up close.'

"Oh, sorry."

You told him and smiled at the tall guy, making your way to leave and go back to where the ball was occurring, but his giants hands held your wrist making you turn to face him again.

"I saw you looking at me."

He said getting closer to you with that smirk of earlier. His piercing gaze right into your eyes and sometimes slipping to your lips. You didn't even notice how close he was, until he let out a deep breath against your supple skin. His lips were millimeters away from yours, while his hands tightened around your wrist to the point that you could feel a slight of pain. Which made you feel a low groan leaving your mouth. He let loose of your wrist and stepped back. You let out a "Fuck." in protests. At this point you might be wet and he barely touched you.

"What? You wanted more? Oh... what a nasty girl."

His husky voice echoed in the hallway, all of your thoughts were vanished away and just the hoarse voice remanded.

"What? Hesitating on answering me, i see. When your eyes were glued on me you didn't hesitated on looking all over my body, why being shy now?"

You felt the heat on your cheeks. You didn't know what to say, nor do, he left you speechless. Step by step he got closer to you again, his body lead yours to the closest wall, pinning you there. His cold breath leaning against your soft skin while looking into into your eyes. His mouth half opened ready to say something but he didn't had time to do such a thing. You quickly got his lips together with yours, closing your eyes while feeling his busted lips. He was still surprised by the sudden action, but didn't hesitated on kissing you back, now leading the kiss. His tongue was hungry, he wanted more than you were giving him. His hands got to your waist, pulling you even closer to him. You let out a tiny gasp when his thumbs met the only part of your back that the dress didn't covered. His long cold fingers resting there, making your whole body shivers. You traveled your hands to his neck, moving your attention to his soft hair that covered his scruff, caressing it with your fingers while pulling his head even more closer. His body was so close that you could felt his boner on your thigh, moving one of your knees to reach his length. Rubbing a little bit through the fabric of his pants. The boy seems to like it since he let out a groan and intensified the warm and sloppy kiss. But it didn't last long. He slowly got away and took a step back clearing his throat.

"I don't think it's a good idea to continue these kinds of things here, but if you have time we can go to my room. By the way, my name is Taeyong."

Oh, the son of the richest man in Korea. 'Not knowing the son of the man that everyone talks about, i'm indeed not that clever at all.' you thought while you raised your eyebrow at him, thinking about his suggestion and 'Why not?' popped on your mind.

"Sure. My name is y/n."

He smiled at you and started walking. Not minding if you were following him or not, but you obviously were. The rest of the house was absolutely perfect, you didn't have any words to say how pretty it was. Literally the ones you just see in movies. You were somehow envious. You climbed the stunning stairs, with lots of tiny details that got all of your attention, stopping in the middle of the way just to stare the little panting on the handrail. You spotted Taeyong entering in one of the various doors that the second floor had, following him and getting inside of the room. Closing the door behind as soon as you got in. His bedroom was something else, it was bigger than your whole apartment. Decorations in blue, grey and black. You left Your shoes next to the entrance and started walking in the tiny corridor that the room has. When you finally reached to the actual bedroom you sighed in relief, that was a long ass ride.

Taeyong was sitting on his bed looking at the giant window that occupied almost the whole wall. When he realized that you were already there he patted the sheets signaling for you to sit on the spot next to him. You did as he told and sat right by his side.

"Can i talk with you? About... something."

He sighed moving his head to face you. His intense gaze made your legs tremble. 'He's ethereal.'

"Of course. What's up?"

"Well. I'm hundred percent sure we're going to have sex if i'm wrong please correct me."

He slipped his gaze to your lips. You bited the lower one thinking of an proper response to give him or even say that he was wrong. But you couldn't, you wanted it as bad as he.

"I'll get this lip biting as a 'Yes'."

He got his attention back to the window, and you did it too. 'Nice view.' you thought.

"I have a kink."

"I think we'all."

He sighed in response and closed his eyes. You could swear he was the most hot person that ever existed. His jawline only lighted by the moonlight, made you wanna attack him just like that. Without a warning.

"I mean, before testing my 'Kink' with you i have to ask if you're ok with it. I suppose you already heard about knife play, right?"

Your heart skipped a bit hearing his hoarse voice saying it while his gaze pierced through your soul. At the same time that it haunted you thinking of knifes cutting your skin, it aroused you too. You couldn't tell properly what you were feeling, it was a mix of adrenaline and fear. It made you even more horny seeing that he had sparkles in his eyes talking about his 'fetish'.

"I'm in."

"So easy. You're a fucking nasty bitch."

He practically jumped on you. Kissing your lips even more hungrier than on the hallway, tracing his fingers all over your face, caressing it with his thumbs. His body was on top of you with his legs in the middle of yours, his knee was so close to the place you needed him the most. You were probably soaking wet by this time, searching for something to just touch you there. Taeyong broke the kiss leaving one last peck to your lips. He left you there in the need for him to just fuck you until you cry.

He entered in some kind of room still on his bedroom. He didn't made you wait much, coming back just minutes after with a medium knife on his hands. The object fitted in his hands perfectly, like he knew just what he was doing. He knelt on the end of the bed and took his suit off, throwing it somewhere on the floor. You were so right about him being the hottest person, cause his abs were no joke. You wanted to lick all of his body so much.

"Can i perhaps give you a head? Before you know, doing what you wanna do."

"Yeah, c'mere slut."

He stood up again, now stripping his pants off. The only thing left was his underwear. You couldn't tell if he was shy or wanted you to take it off, the second one aroused you the most. You got up from the bed and knelt in front of him, his eyes widened as your hand moved to touch his body. Passing your fingers all over his abs until it reached the hemline of his boxer, pulling it down. Revealing his medium sized dick with a pretty pink tip. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore and wrapped your hand around his dick, stroking it from the basis to the top, moving your thumbs on the tip of it. He tilted his head back and let out a few groans. 'So he likes on the tip.' you thought. Quickly got your lips closer to it and kitty licked the tip, moving your tongue on his dick hole. As you did it he couldn't contain his low moans, letting plenty of them escape his mouth. His hands moved to your hair, pulling almost all of the strands into a ponytail.

"Suck it, stupid hoe. Gag on my fucking cock."

His hand pushed your head to finally put his penis inside of your mouth, letting you feel all of his length inside of it while you tried to lick his tip on the times he wasn't moving. He didn't had mercy at all. Putting all of his effort on making you gag, his dick reaching your throat while you were drooling, your saliva dripping over his balls. He suddenly stopped moving and got his hand out of your hair.

"I wanna last more, get up."

In the moment when you propped up he pushed you, making your body fall on the soft bed. He got on the middle of your legs again while studying you, his eyes went black looking at your body through the tight dress. The hand holding the knife got closer to your arm, pressing the point of the blade and moving just a little bit. The cold knife superficially cutting your skin made your body shivers.

"You like this don't you? Needy whore."

You couldn't even think of a proper answer to give him, the fear was taking control of you. His knife got closer to the bottom of your dress, moving it until it reached the top.

"Did you cut my dress?"

"Answer me when i ask you something, slut."

He opened the parts that he cut, ripping the rest that got in his way, making you mumble something similar to 'You'll have to buy me a new one.' as he just nodded and smiled for 2 seconds. Finally something that made you comfortable with the whole situation, his bright smile. Back again with the knife close to you, he now was focusing on your thighs.

"I'm gonna do it for real now. If you are uncomfortable or is hurting more than you can handle, say 'Kitten.'"

You nodded and tried your best to relax your body, you didn't wanted to be nervous cause it would make you paranoid about what he was doing. You closed your eyes as you felt the knife drawing circles with the steel on your thighs, you had goosebumps all over your body from the coldness of the knife. You felt a severe pain on your skin as he moved the blade in horizontal lines, making you wonder if he was gently cutting or scratching you. Letting out a low moan while you tried calling his name, you didn't even know if he heard his name being called or not.

He let the tip of the sharp knife rest on your skin. Without a proper warning he slightly dragged it across your derm. Now on the vertical, making you flinch while a moan escape through your lips again.

"Don't fucking flinch, bitch."

"Fuck me, please."

You murmured while opening your eyes to look at him, he was on his knees on the middle of your two legs with the knife on the same position as before on his hand. You thanked god that there weren’t any bleed, cause that made you trust him even more. He stood up the moment that he spotted your panties, entering the same room of earlier and getting back faster than that one time before. But now he had a condom on his fingers instead of the knife. You thought he was finally gonna give you what you were wishing for all night. His dick inside of you.

"Can i make a wish now?"

"Sure."

"I want you fucking me with no mercy."

"You're such a whore."

He slowly got on the bed making his way to the top of you. But now he was fully above you with his arms on each sides of your body, making him carry his weight through them. He wasn't a soft dom, that was for sure. So you weren't expecting him to kiss you that much, and he didn't. But you missed a little kiss here and there, that teased you even more. Maybe the two of you were just too different from each other. Your body was half naked already, you weren't wearing a bra that night so it was easier for him. And he didn't loose time at all, so slowly he got closer to your chest. Diving on your right breast with his mouth. His tongue played with your nipple, sometimes kitty licking it or nibbling with his teeth. You weren't holding your moan back, sometimes whispering his name as you let some of them out. Of course you were enjoying it, his tongue was literally heaven, but you couldn't take it anymore. you were so wet that your panties glued on your pussy, making it uncomfortable to wear.

"Please, just fuck me."

He stopped playing with your nipples just to look at You. The smirk appeared on his lips as soon as he saw your desperate gaze, hoping that he would finally fuck you.

"So needy, bitch."

He left the top of you and rolled to the side, laying his body on the bed and resting his head against the pillows. He got the condom out of the plastic and placed on the top of his dick, pulling it through his length until it reached the basis. After finishing it he sat on the bed and patted on his lap for you to top him. When you realized that in this position he wouldn't take the soul out of your body, cause you would be making all of the work, you moved your head to the sides telling him a 'No'.

"If you don't mind i prefer this way. Please."

You looked at him with puppy eyes, making him sigh and roll his eyes. He got up from the spot that he was sitting and came to where you were.

"No mercy, huh? Slut."

He spread your legs a little and knelt between them. After finding an comfortable position for him he raised one of your legs and rested it on one side of his shoulder, doing the same with the another one on the other side. His hands moved down, making its way to your clothed clit, he palmed it. He stimulated you doing lazy circles with his middle finger through the fabric of your lingerie. You let out a loud moan to the final sensation of something touching you there. He stopped his motions a little seconds after starting it, grabbing the fabric of your panties and putting to the side. He stood there for a little bit, looking at your bare pussy facing him.

"You're so nasty. All that wet just for me?"

You nodded in response and he smirked moving his hip for the tip of his cock tease your entrance, leaving you wanting more from the contact.

"Fuck, Taeyong. I need you inside me."

That's all he needed to listen. He grabbed the basis of his penis and shoved it into your pussy without a warning, making you tilt your head back into the pillows and groan his name from the sudden move. He wasn't kind, every time he moved his hips you could feel his cock hitting your g-spot, making many loud moans come out of your mouth. Besides being a little uncomfortable, cause you weren't too flexible, the position was amazing. And when he deep thrust you could see stars.

"You like that way, right? So fucking tight, whore."

He kept his moves deep and fast, making you a vocal mess. He wasn't much of a vocal as you were, cause you only heard low moans coming out of his mouth, but it was still hot. His hands traveled from your leg on his shoulders till it reached your thighs, you wasn't paying much attention to that, until he passed his thumbs through the scratches he made. You flinched as you felt a slight of pain, it made you moan even more than you already were, he didn't hesitated on touching it again just to see the discomfort on your face. It hurts more than you've imagined it would, but at the same time it was so good. The pain mixed with his dick hitting your spot, made you experience something u'v never felt. His fingers moved to touch you down there again, moving his index and middle finger in fast circles through your sensitive clit. You felt a knot being made on your stomach and you tried to hold it, succeeding on your task.

"Taeyong, can i cum?"

You asked while moaning from all the pleasure he was giving you, it was so hard to hold your orgasm back while he stimulated you.

"Yes. Cum for me, my slut."

He didn't needed to tell you twice, you saw stars as you relaxed your body and finally let your orgasm out. You were a totally vocal mess, your walls clenched on his dick, making him let out a loud moan at your sudden tightness. He stopped moving his fingers on your clit, afraid of the overstimulation. But still didn't stopped his fast motions, making you still moan for him.

"Beg for my cum, whore."

"Please Taeyong, cum on my pussy, fill your slut with your load."

As soon as you finished your sentence he finally let out the moans he was holding all night, it was music to your ears seeing that he finally reached his orgasm. The two of you stayed in the same position for a couple of minutes until he recompose himself. Making you form a groan in your throat when he took his dick out of your pussy. You saw him taking the condom off and making a knot at the end of it, seconds later throwing it on the garbage can next to the other side of the bed. He rolled to the spot next to you and held your arm, pulling you in a lovely hug.

"Can we stay like this for a little bit?"

You nodded and smiled in response. Moving your hand to reach his hair, caressing his strands while watching him with his eyes closed.

“You’re ethereal.”

He giggled at you and held you tightly. You Kissed his forehead and closed your eyes as well, sleeping with him just like this.

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving 04 (final) | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: “drabble” series, best friends to lovers au, slight angst, FLUFF, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, smarter idiots but still idiots all the same

⇢ word count: 6.8k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, excessive drinking (drink responsibly), pining, jungkook is an overdramatic baby, a surplus of feelings (i am disgusted with myself), one (1) fire hazard

⇢ summary: with the Friendiversary approaching quickly, both you and Jungkook have an array of trials to navigate through. and, as Seokjin gets caught in the crossfires, you must finally make a decision that will define how the rest of your life will unfold. 

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: wow.... so bitches really call this a drabble series then write a 6 thousand word finale... its me im bitches... anywho, i really love the way this played out!! jungkook had to hit the bottom to start rising to the top and it shows. also, the ending is like....... hehe well ill just let you all see for yourselves. enjoy my lovely readers! this wrapped up such a heartfelt series that is so dear to my heart. thank you all for the support for this! and i might whip up a few drabbles simply because i think this relationship is really cute hehe ok... happy reading! <3

part four: i love you too

Carrying that music box in his pocket felt like a well-deserved and all too grim reminder of what went down a few days ago. Sitting drunk yet again, though one would best describe Jungkook’s posture as more of a sloven pile of flesh and bones withering away on a bar stool, he searched for the wallet which was in one of his four pockets.

He reached for the wrong one. Instead of the faux leather skimming his skin, it was a solid wood corner pricking the pad of his index finger. It stung more than it should have. Perhaps he'd gotten a splinter, or the top layer of his skin was simply too raw from all the wear and tear of your fight. Jungkook wasn’t one to jump at such negligible shocks, but it sank him back into that night. It wasn't the wooden corner at all.

You loved him. You still love him.

That's what you said. That's what nearly put him on the floor instead of in his chair, and what had been preying on his mind as if he were no different than a helpless animal drowning his regrets in whiskey. And he knew he should have said it back. 

Jungkook theorized ways to defy the cruel restraints of time, and if the universe would be so kind as to allow him to travel back to that day in middle school when he happened upon a scared, flush-faced student running so fast and panicked that they bumped into each other, just to be the one who said 'I love you' first. Or those genies and shooting stars and blessed fountains that supposedly granted wishes; he would pay no hesitation to plead with whatever deity would listen and permit his most prioritized desire. 

The retrospective bargaining remained a ghost haunting just about every waking moment of his life. Though, he had not been quite sure if said ghost was some cosmic sent presence or simply his own guilt. If regret took on physical ramifications, then Jungkook would have been convinced that was why he felt as if his legs wouldn't have been able to carry him even if he tried.

If I could just go back to that night with the knowledge I know now, I would have hauled my ass to your house instead of that club and told you that my choice was made for me the moment I met you. Every other person I ended up with these past twelve years was simply a buffer for loving you. I had to prepare myself, because loving you was something entirely too tremendous for a boy still grappling with his own faulty speech pattern to assume.

I wish you knew that. I wish I didn’t stand there like an idiot and let you leave, thinking me some hero for finally letting this new guy Seokjin take the place I had always imagined being in. I wish I had just said that I love you.

I love you.

I love you, ___.

Jungkook’s vision resembled that of a smudged lens. However, there were no fingerprints on his eyes. The world had turned blurry and colorless, the latter he knew was not due to the sixth order of whiskey he let soak into his heart’s open wound. 

A life of color was one of the many things that left when you did.

He didn’t know it then, but Jungkook was being fervently dramatic since it had not been more than seventy-two hours the last time he spoke to you. Thought to him, it was akin to being just short of death and taking another breath would have been an expense he wasn’t sufficiently funded to pay. 

Whatever happened in the interim of him paying his tab and walking out onto the sidewalk must have landed somewhere in the blacked out stretches of his inebriated memory, since he was now staring at your contact gleaming on his phone bearing the semblance of one guardian angel.

It was so ingrained into his routine. Opening the app with the phone icon, clicking the ‘recent’ tab, and finding your name no further than three contacts down the list because he called you as if he had important things to tell you, though normally it was just to hear your voice or to tell you about what he had for lunch. And it nestled into his muscle memory as natural as it was for him to breathe or blink. Even when alcohol debilitated his driving, walking, and thinking, his body was drawn to seek a haven such as yourself. And he nearly pressed ‘call’.

Before the comfort of your voice could ring through to his phone, reality descended upon that reflex. Right now, you were probably with Seokjin, attending some pretentious art gallery for one of his colleagues.

It was just Jungkook and the night sky and the moon that he hoped you were gazing at too; it would be the only connection to you as of now. The moon, a parcel for the most longing gazes.

There are stories where the two protagonists get it right. This was not that story. That reality stung more than the residual burn of whiskey clinging along his throat.

Both you and Jungkook made every wrong decision possible. From the moment you subjected yourself to exploiting the veneer of being a ‘good friend’ to disguise any true feelings that might have taken light, to the moment Jungkook was presented with all the excruciatingly obvious signs that you were in love with him, but was simply too inept to notice, to the both of you neglecting any urge threatening the bounds of platonic. Any path that would have steered to a destination where you two would get that happy ending was conveniently untaken.

And you had a long journey riddled with heartbreak after heartbreak to prove it.

He traded his phone with that wooden music box, scuffing the soles of his shoe as he walked back home, hoping he’d be able to give the gift to you on your Friendiversary.

-----

Your pain was still raw. In this way, you had not considered, or rather avoided the idea of tending to such delicate wounds. The days leading up to the infamous anniversary had been spent hoping you would organically heal enough to allow the presence of Jungkook while denying another reopening in your wound.

You had been juggling a not so thrilling number of conflicts the three days preceding that self-acclaimed national holiday.

One, Seokjin and his bottomless supply of invitations that you felt too obligated to refuse. He had such a life packed with plans which is more than you could have said for Jungkook. He, most likely, busied himself with promoting ranks in some obscenely violent video game. Two, a mutual friend of yours had told you Seokjin was fixing to make your relationship official this coming Friday, and you didn’t want to admit the lackluster reaction upon hearing the news was equivalent to receiving a C on a test. It wasn't the worst grade to receive, but you knew there would always be something better than adequacy. Not satisfying enough nor disappointing enough to be dealt with without bending a few expectations. And three, all you really wanted, the only agent of excitability (both good and bad) that diluted the festering numbness in your heart just a tad more, was thinking about seeing Jungkook on your Friendiversary.

But with that excitement, was its equally worrying constituent: whether or not you would be able see Jungkook that day without cracking under pressure.

Things weren’t exactly attuned between the two of you. Your emotional stature had never been more unsynchronized and offkey with Jungkook’s, so, forcing a celebratory movie or dinner would be no different than adding cornstarch to the already thick tension.

“___? Are you listening?” Everything Seokjin had just been droning on about filtered in and out without a single word being absorbed, and you could have pretended this wasn't the case but  stress had apprehended caring enough to lie.

“Sorry… No, I wasn't. I’m just stressed is all.” Since that was only a half lie, self-admonition had not yet taken permanent residency whenever you would look at Seokjin’s eyes offering nothing but genuine tact.

“Oh, sorry to hear! Are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about?” That, and the soft press of his hand over yours had swallowed you into a perpetual, guilty cycle of comparing two incomparable people.

Seokjin was always like this. Serving a gentle smile and honest ears as a vessel of calmness during whatever calamity you were grappling. It was safe knowing if you fell, you’d have a comfortable cushion to soften the impact. He was mindful with his words and had the intelligence to articulate them with impressive eloquence. You were more likely to see pigs fly than to see him stutter. He had a diverse group of friends and walked a steady path to a financially secure life. And you started to wonder what else one would need in a partner? Any sensible person would do much more than you had to snag someone like Seokjin, as handsome as he was kind and respectful. He seemed to have everything Jungkook lacked, including mutual feelings for you.

It would have been entirely too easy to pick him, as if there was a ‘Seokjin’ button and a ‘Jungkook’ button and you could press Seokjin’s on a whim. If choosing him would have meant miraculous nullification of all your very real and very unremitting feelings for that idiot you called your best friend, then you would have done it in a heartbeat.

There wasn't a 'Seokjin' button or a 'Jungkook' button, nor was there a button that would wondrously redistribute your feelings towards Seokjin.

And then there was Jungkook. Always in the back of your mind when he wasn't tenanting the focus of it.

He was never predictable in the ways that mattered. It was just as difficult figuring out his next move as figuring out whether this trait was exciting or exhausting.

Though, this had not been to say you didn’t know him well; in fact, all his habits and preferences and pet peeves could be bound into a book, written by you, and it would be so accurate anyone who read it would think it was an autobiography. He knew you to the same caliber. Where Seokjin would ask what was wrong, Jungkook wouldn’t need to. He already learned your behavior to know to say something along the lines of ‘tell me what’s wrong when you're ready, we can watch your favorite movie or swing by that Chinese place with those great fried dumplings in the meantime’. And on more favorable occasions, he'd say nothing and simply wrap you in his arms and let his shirt become a delta for your tears.

To anyone else, that might sound entirely too frank and perhaps a bit dismissive to be comforting, but to you it was the exact cure for each affliction. To never need explanations that would validate your feelings because Jungkook saw to that right when he took notice; to never manufacture fake smiles through failed attempts at cheering you up since, of course, he knew exactly what to do to vegetate joy in your heart and earn a smile from years and years —and years— of practice. It had almost driven you mad, thinking about how he knew from a shift in your brow what you were feeling and yet, somehow, never realized how deeply in love you were.

All the while, the moment you were convinced you had been versed fluently in his every move, he would pawn another blindsight that would leave you breathless and amazed all the same. Jungkook always had concealed tricks up his sleeve, and life was anything but repetitive with him. You would more often than not find yourself struggling to relearn language and existing itself just to keep up with him. How exactly he managed to wield such diametric facets of being was an enigma beyond the reasoning of this universe.To feel like home, somewhere you belonged outside of your own body, and a daring voyage into a completely new world all at once must have meant he was some sort of Godsend. Only angels could have sculpted a soul so magnetizing, you assumed.

Seokjin was an umbrella, shielding you on some arcane journey under an unforgiving rainfall. Your shoes kept dry and your hair intact.

And if he was the umbrella, then Jungkook was the rain. Falling everywhere and all at once, so that you couldn't help but let yourself be saturated in his entire, vibrant being. And who’s to say letting such a water fall against your skin was a bad thing? Sometimes rain is cleaning, gentle even. They bear fruits as beautiful as rainbows that guide you to an unnamed treasure.

Your treasure, however, had a name.

Jungkook calling.

"___? Hello? You in there?" Seokjin waved his hand in front of your face mostly in a jesting manner, but part of him felt like your eyes were blinded by something held in your heart. If he hadn’t pulled you back into reality, you might have been lost forever.

“I'm just…” Your attention had abandoned this conversation the second his name gave light to your screen. “Sorry, um…”

“It's okay, you can take the call. I’ll be in the kitchen making us some coffee.”

If you were to thank him profusely, it would have been far too obvious how much you missed seeing his name among your notifications, and most likely expose how often you spent thinking of Jungkook while you were supposed to be enthralled with Seokjin. So, you just nodded and answered the phone.

Nodding and answering, as though that didn't feel like taking a breath of clean air after hours of swimming through muddied waters.

“Hello? ___?”

“Jungkook.” It took you longer than usual to form a response and what was assembled had been a half-baked utterance just to let him know you were on the other side of the phone, hearing his voice and feeling a surge of energy course through your veins like he was some delicious narcotic filling life into you after only a week without him.

“___.” Jungkook was in his own debt of words as well. The exchange halted for a few seconds, a jaded breathing cutting the cracked static.

“Look-”

“Hey so-”

Any hope that you had finally caught up to the same page as Jungkook was lost. Now, it seemed you two were reading entirely different books.

“You go.” You said after another dreadful pause. He was the one who called, so he should be the one carrying the burden of navigating through this deafening tension.

“Well, I- uh… I… Well, you see I was just, um, wondering…” Jungkook’s heart must have shut off. That would explain why even the most rudimentary of words felt closer to a foreign language. Or, why he was making conscious efforts to counteract the threat of his nearly dormant lisp.

His brain was drained dry of any blood, his inner mechanisms were shutting down. Even without the alcoholic filter catching words and common sense in its web, Jungkook felt himself fall into an overactive state of dumbfoundedness. Sobriety only a cataract for his emotional override. 

“Our friendiversary?”

“I’m sorry, I did not understand literally anything you just said.”

“Me neither.”

The charming and familiar laugh that spilled through the speaker reminded you that Jungkook was in fact a real person. Not some figmented embodiment of every lost and unrequited and tortuous feeling you had been suppressing for twelve years. Jungkook was real, his laugh and everything else you loved about him were all so incredibly real. And more importantly, the pure joy you felt was real; a permanent serialization of his. Your smiles and his smiles had always surfaced in tandem.

Now, you both were laughing. Neither were warranted by his messy attempt at forming a coherent sentence. The weight of discomfort shedding from your shoulders had been partnered with a slew of relieved chuckles.

“Anyway, um. I- I still wanna see you on our Friendiversary. Or, at least give you your gift.” Admitting that was terrifying but the thought of breaking the consecutive streak of eleven years simply because he was too much of a coward to admit he wanted to see you dizzied him. However, the thought of spending your friendiversary alone terrified him beyond comprehension. So, he thought not about that as a possibility; he carved an opening to his heart in hope you wouldn’t send sharp thorns of rejection into it.

“Yeah, I, uh. I still wanna see you too. I mean, it is a national holiday. We gotta have holiday spirit, right?” You were forcing playful banter, it felt like lemon juice scouring cuts on your tongue, but you were so desperate to make things between you two feel normal.

“You’re right! So, um… You can come over tomorrow night. I’ll set up a surprise or whatever.” He seemed to have fallen back into stride with pre-confession Jungkook. Trying to keep up with him now would just exhaust you of all your means, so you chose to save the rest for tomorrow night. Even if that meant watching him walk away to some unforeseeable finish line; his back, the last part of him you’d see until you could finally collect your broken pieces and start walking as well.

“Sounds good! I’ll, um, see you then.”

“See you, ___.”

You had no idea, and how could you, that Jungkook was now wiping small clusters of wetness from the bed of his eyelids. Why he thought you, the one person that remained a constant in his life, would say no to him over one fight (of many) made for quite the spill of tears. But if you did know, you would have told him you felt like crying too.

"Hey! How did everything go?" You were so immersed in your virtual conversation with Jungkook you nearly forgot the person you were presently with. The train of guilt wouldn't stop for your pathetic attempts at disembarking.

"Oh! Thanks for the coffee." You sipped, and it had just been a stall to blink away the tears that were straying beyond your will of concealment. "It went good. We're still celebrating our Friendiversary."

"Friendiversary?" Seokjin's light chuckle veiled his tense concern.

"Yeah... Uh, it's just this thing we do to celebrate our friendship. The day we met."

"Oh... that's..." His eyes were scaling the rim of his mug.

"That's what, Seokjin?" You were stern, knowing well enough it was born of far more than platonic defensiveness. And you had no right to be the one prosecuting him since you clearly had more to hide than meets the eye.

"I mean, it's just interesting how dedicated you are to an anniversary with a friend." Seokjin wielded that soft-spoken voice which made it difficult to be anything but patient with him. And from the tone of it, he seemed to have no ill intentions with that statement, though it had not been an entirely innocent observation. To you, however, it felt like he might as well have set you on fire.

"Interesting? What is that supposed to even mean? I mean, we've been friends for twelve years. I- I don't know why people are always so judgmental." Your arms crossed over your chest, hoping he would take notice how much his comment slighted you. If asked, you would have insisted you would have been this worked up over any of your friends. Though you knew well enough this was untrue, and it made you feel even worse acting as though Seokjin was the one at fault here.

"I'm sorry. I'm not judging you, really. I just... I just have never heard of two friends doing something like that so religiously."

You sighed out all your anger, knowing the way you snapped at him was merely misdirected frustration. "No, I'm sorry. I know it's kinda weird."

"Look, I get it. You guys are close. But, ___, you talk about him so much that half, no, over half of your stories include him. We've been dating for, what, barely a week now, and I know more about this Jungkook guy than I know about you, and I haven't even met him."

Lips parted, ready to dispatch another slew of defenses to refute all the things he said. It was more disappointing than it was shocking to find nothing but a long sigh emerging. Because he was right. Jungkook has been interwoven so thoroughly in your last twelve years that if you only told the stories without him in it, then it would be the least accurate and nondescript retelling of your life. Fragments of an unfinished novel. It would miss the most crucial pieces, entire chapters, of your story.

You would have been presenting a shell of you, hollow and one dimensional. All the inner parts of you, the lungs and veins and tissue that gave you life and made you whole belonged solely with Jungkook.

That's why you sat there, blank faced, foolishly waiting for the words that wouldn't come to your aid because you had no place to contend with him.

"Seokjin... I'm with you..." It's all that would come up your throat, and it felt like acid. You were sure it burned his ears when he heard them more than it had your throat.

It hadn’t even been partially true. Physically you were with him, but in your head you were sitting on your couch with Jungkook, consuming a concerning amount of junk food while chatting through a movie used more as background noise than entertainment.

"Okay. Does that mean you don't have feelings for him?"

"Well..."

"Can you confidently say you could replace all the time you spend with him with time you would spend with me?" Seokjin must have noticed your returning tears because he loosened his verbal grip from your throat. To you, it sounded like he was pacifying you for some horrible sin, to anyone else it sounded as though he was simply trying to dredge up feelings that would disrupt the chance of a relationship between you and him. "___, I like you. I really do, but in all honesty, I'm looking for something serious. I think we would be great together, but only if you don't have any feelings left for him."

"Seokjin..." You regretted looking at him.

Sweetness was strewn in his eyes and gentle smile. Seokjin was softer than cotton, which made the real threat, the rough sandpaper wearing away skin and bones, you. It made it all the more painful to know you had been keeping everything you felt for Jungkook hidden from Seokjin. Though, if one would have presented an objective point of view, your feelings were far from secretive. And the most brutal honesty was that you knew feelings for Seokjin were never in your attainability. Not the way they always had been for Jungkook.

He was the wrong person who crossed paths with you at the right moment. A mere convenience. And you knew he deserved much more than what you had to offer.

"And maybe I'm being an idiot, but I like you too much to give you some ultimatum which would put you in such an unfair position. So, I'll let you think this over." His compassion felt more like a sharp blow to your chest. “No pressure.”

If he hadn’t smiled like he did, then you would have broken up with him right then and there. It was not possible to rip away such tender hope away from a smile so sweet.

"I'm sorry." You meant the remorse behind those words and it still hadn’t amounted to a proper consolation. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess I'll go... Seokjin?”

“Yes?” He replied quickly, and you knew only a pace that rapid was one brought on by a sliver of faith that you might have made your decision right then.

“You’re a really great person. You deserve the world.”

Unfortunately, you couldn’t give him what he wanted. And as bitter and unkind as that might have felt at the moment, it was the only bit of truth and relent you could have offered him.

-----

In your bed, sleep became somewhat of an abstract desire. You knew your rest was deprived from you when the digital clock on your bedside told you it was six hours past the time you'd normally fall asleep. It was because you really did have a choice to make now.

To choose Seokjin, and know you'd collapse in the safety of his reciprocated affection, though haunted by how you would never feel the fullest extent of content. And you would live with that until resentment and distance wedged irreversible damage in your relationship.

Or, to choose Jungkook, which would catapult you into a depth so dark and tenuous that you would have no idea whether you'd meet gentle snow or hard, deadly concrete when you landed. And maybe you'd never land at all; maybe you would be caught in a state of falling down and down forever, until your beating heart eventually stilled.

Which one was worth it? Which were you willing to risk? These were the questions that kept you awake.

The hours leading to your undisclosed celebration events with Jungkook ceased being actual points of your existence and merely obstructions that you had to plow through in order to arrive at some conclusive moment. Something that might give you an answer to all your questions. Something that might have released you from devotedly checking your phone for a Jungkook patented text or call.

You were turning into a half-being. Someone who could only inhale a full breath, laugh an intentional laugh, and sleep a soundless sleep when their other half was there.

If you thought being in love with Jungkook for your entire friendship was pathetic, then you couldn’t fathom what you had become now.

Standing in front of his door, the same one you lugged him to that night he was too drunk to balance on his feet, when you willingly carried all the weight he couldn’t, when your lips became acquainted and comfortable with his within half a beat, you felt as if this chunk of wood was mocking you. A partition barricading you from Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The man you always felt you were on the outskirts of, with only a window to peer into his unreadable mind. And that was enough for you ―until now.

Now you were going to knock on that door with your hand, make him open it for you, and walk into his home. You would be the one to step foot inside of the very structure that only solicited closed doors and immovable walls and fogged windows. And you would leave behind your timidity, every feeling and urge that left you with disappointing compromises for the sake of maintaining this friendship.

You would be selfish, and he would finally feel a mere glimpse of what you have always felt for the best and worst of your life.

Even when he opened the door, arming a smile that actively disarmed you, this home of his was yours to conquer. This was your time to act for you alone, despite how many smiles he sent your way. You had not any weapons or shields or an infantry for a clutch. You just had your heart and all the love it carried. 

“Hey! ___, you look… You look great.” There was no real incentive for him to censor how he truly thought you looked. Immeasurably beautiful. It was simply his own nerves impeding on the feelings that were too intense to express without it being followed by an entire soliloquy of I love you’s.

“Thanks... You too...” You could almost feel the words brimming in your and Jungkook’s mouth, carrying such raw emotions and longing intentions.

"I'm really glad that- Jungkook..." Walking into his house punctuated what you were about to say.

His living room was strewn with enough candles to steal the last of your words and to consider his house a fire hazard. That didn't negate this lovely sea of lights to be anything but romantic and thoughtful. A bit cluttered, and not at all perfect, but it must have taken Jungkook hours to set up every wax column. The thoughtfulness of this gesture would have astonished you had it not been for the consistency of Jungkook snatching your breath and words away whenever he tried. It was antithetical, the way you expected his surprises. Yet, always surprised all the same.

Unpredictable, completely surrounding you just like the rain.

"I had to turn off my fire detector but... Worth it." Jungkook considered the number of mishaps that could have dampened any chance of this being romantic.

A candle could tip over and set his entire place ablaze, the wax could leak onto his carpet and tabletops, damaging his furniture and savings for replacements, you and he could have suffocated from all the fumes steaming from the wick. But if that look on your face didn't feel like the only bit of revival to keep his heart's steady beating, if your eyes didn’t look as though it was the only set of eyes that shed beauty into this world then he wouldn't have used up exactly three lighters to pull this stunt. But it did, and he felt warmth and color return to every inch of his body.

He would have used hundreds of lighters to ignite thousands of candles if that meant an ounce of happiness from you. He wanted to say that, but he knew the candles said it for him.

The spectacle almost made you forget why you were here in the first place. It almost made you forget the resolve you managed to gather before entering. And then he said your name.

"___."

The letters flowing from his lips as if they could only be pronounced by his tongue. It sounded so good. So good, that if anyone else were to say it then it wouldn't have been your name at all. It would have sounded wrong, sullied. And it wasn't supplied by neat articulation, this new belonging of your name in his mouth. The need for him to sculpt your name into this world was more than that. "I will never forgive myself if I don't get this out while I still can."

"Jungkook, what is all this?" You didn't know why you felt a collection of tears brimming along your eyes, but you didn't care to figure it out. Perhaps you felt an influx of feelings, an abundance too heavy for your body to seal within the confines of your emotional seams, so they overflowed in the form of tears. This certainly had not been the first time you cried over Jungkook, but you had never cried over him like this.

"___, I love you!" Jungkook said loudly. It was just you and him who could hear, but it felt as though he wanted the entire world to know.

"What? I- You- What?" Your lack of verbal poise was indicative of your love for him once again taking the reins of your mind and heart. Words were a luxury you couldn't afford as of now. You just had to feel everything you were feeling until the rainstorm settled. The hope that he would spare you some remnants of fluency was far along, and you weren't too sure if what Jungkook was about to say would be gentle enough to leave you with any words at all.

"I love you. I don't know why I didn't know it sooner. Or maybe, I- Maybe I did know?" Jungkook sighed at his own ineloquence. "I'm stupid! That's it. That's my only excuse. I'm so stupid. The way I felt about you, the way I still feel about you, is something I thought all best friends had. I thought everyone felt like the moments they weren't spending with their best friends just felt like filler moments. Like, every day I spent without you was just a span of time I had to wait out until I see you again. Like every damn moment of my life is spent waiting for you. And if I don't end up with you then... then I'll never stop waiting."

"Jungkook, I-" He prevailed in surprising you, taking words and breath and thoughts all at once.

"And, I'm that stupid! I really thought all best friends had those moments when they stare at you, and- and-" Now, you weren't the only one with wet eyes and cheeks. "And I just feel like looking at you and being with you just makes me better. It makes me a better person, or something, and it makes me feel like... Like I'll never get hurt again. And even if I do get hurt, I know it's you I want to be there. I know that whenever something bad happens to you, or when you feel like crying or when you're happy or angry or anything that I want to be the one who gets to be by your side. When I look at you, all I want is to love you. To love all your pain away."

"You really mean that?"

"Yes! God, I love you." You didn't notice how it happened, but Jungkook's arms became a shield around you. Inside his arms you were indestructible. Your hands pressed against his cheeks, memorizing the plush, smooth skin. The world could hurl all the fire and ice it had, but it wouldn’t matter. "___, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sorry that in that period, I hurt you. Please, forgive me. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Of course, I forgive you. I... I can't believe this." Hearing everything you always wanted from him was drastically different when it was actually unfolding. It was a million times more than any hope or dream you used as a salve for your longing. It was everything.

"Maybe it took so long because I was afraid. Because the idea of loving you was something I wasn't ready for. Even though I did love you, God, who was I to take on something as fragile and crucial as loving you. I know I probably would have messed it up. And, fuck, maybe I'm messing it up right now. But I just needed it to be perfect. I needed loving you to be perfect because I don't want to give you anything less than that."

"You were always enough for me, Jungkook. More than enough. You were and are everything to me" His arms that pressed you further into him expressed how happy that made him. 

"But I'm not perfect yet. I might mess up... A lot. No, I'll definitely mess up. I don't know if I can offer you perfect yet. But I do know that through everything I have never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you."

"Jungkook... I don't know what to say." Your thumb grazed a falling tear from his face. Jungkook had not cried often in front of you; and you could tally up the amount of times he had on your fingers alone. But when he did, it was still as beautiful as when he was smiling or laughing or even scowling.

"You could say you love me back." You did. You loved him, his smile that was currently on a mission to melt your heart, his arms that carried both the good and bad parts of you, his wit that you always relished in. All the reasons to love him were an endless flowing river. If you were lucky enough, you would catch a glimpse of each beautiful current and be able to give name to the gravity that pulled you into him.

"I love you too, you idiot." The last word caught in your throat because your lips were being kissed instead.

His lips. Warm and exciting, allotting your being with an infinite devotion of his. And it was more than you could have ever hoped for.

It felt like fire. Like a grove of candles encapsulating the origin of heat. You and Jungkook, holding each other so close, you could have become one. Hot and all-consuming of anything in its path. If one stood too close, they would suffer scorching embers that stray from the orange pyres. Seokjin, Irene, and any other unassuming casualty that had the misfortune of stepping between the two of you, harboring the burn scars to remind them of what fumed from their interference.

Every element concocting between you and him was that of a bright flame, cremating pure metals and wet woods and thick forests alike.

You were in his home. His arms and lips and hands told you it was your home as well. All that time spent wondering why you could never slip inside before was never because he didn't want to let you in. And the thing is, you never thought to knock until now. You sat outside in a silenced hope that he would voluntarily open that door for you. But unknown to you, Jungkook seemed to be waiting as well. Waiting in a large room with empty spaces where you belonged and where he kept reserved for your residence alone.

He waited even when he wasn't quite sure of who he was waiting for, or if you would ever actually spill your warmth into his home. He waited until his fingers turned to ice and his eyes fell to exhaustion, for you to walk inside.

"So, you're like my boyfriend now?" Your voice brushed against his smiling lips.

"Yeah, your boyfriend, or whatever."

"You know this means you have to top next year's friendiversary. And I mean, all these candles? That's gonna be tough." It could have counted as sensory overload, the feeling of his palms flush against your back, the tip of his nose grazing yours, the bright array of candles illuminating the room. But you were so, incredibly cold without him that this felt like solace to you.

"When have I ever disappointed you?" Jungkook regretted what came out of his mouth too late to stop himself from saying it.

"Oh, I couldn't count the amount of times on my fingers alone! What about that time you forgot our chains for the tires on our trip to the mountains? We almost died." His eye roll only encouraged you to continue. Maybe, if you were lucky, he'd equip that cute pout whenever he wanted his way. "Or what about when you swore you brought water, but three miles in on our hike you had that look on your face. You know I reminded you to get water and you swore you did. Or what about-"

"Okay! I get it! I fuck up, jeez." He scrunched his nose, his eyes waning into crescents courtesy of that grin of his. You counted the number of wrinkles along the bridge of his nose as you always did, though you had acquired an expertise in the geography of his face. Each line and angle and ridge were now and eternally yours to restudy and marvel. "Hey, uh, almost forgot."

He reached into his front left pocket. "I, um, kept carrying it around thinking I'd see you somewhere. Kinda dumb right?"

"Not dumb." You opened the tiny box, wound the handle until the spring felt tight and you could see the throngs prick the textured wheel, and it was one of those moments where you didn't see a gift in your hand. You simply saw his thought and sentiment manifested as a box of wood that sung a tune.

All the things Jungkook wanted to give you, the sun and the moon and the entire universe were not his to give. So for now, he settled for this music box and there would be a day when he would collect each celestial being and place them right into your hands. Maybe then, he would feel less of a debt for possessing such a love like yours.

"This is... I love it. Thank you, Jungkook." You smiled, but it was motivated in the hopes he would smile back. You thought he deserved that much, at least. And he did.

"Sooooo... Can I tell Seokjin that you're actually in love with me and that he sucks ba-"

"Um, absolutely not!" As always, his crudeness and slight inability to remain mature for too long only wedged you deeper in love.

So, terribly in love. Your state of constant craving for Jeon Jungkook had been left barren. That desolate, solitary province was no longer yours to take residence in.

You had a home now. And you had no need to crave Jungkook anymore. He was right here, holding you.

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

a/n: okay, cry with me.... these two.... such hopeless saps for each other i'm here for it. final destination is simp city... also (spoiler) it is completely canon that irene and seokjin bond over their mutual heartbreaks and get to smitten hehehe. anyway, my loves i hope you enjoyed this finale as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! it was a short but heartfelt journey with these two and i will miss their idiocy sm. thank u for your endless support i love u all!!! <3

[kanene-yaaay]

Tickle me, princey

Kanene’s note: This fic is basically: Virgil is a bratty Lee, Roman is a competitive Ler and none of them are going down without a fight xDD.

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Virgil and Ler!Roman (Kind of. Because there is almost no tickles here, just teasing). Human AU.

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* This have about 2.500 words of Roman and Virgil just being teasy beans.  ‘w’)b.

* PLEASE CHECK THIS AMAZING ART! IT’S INCREDIBLEE! <33

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! I didn’t proofread that one very well, so I will probably be correcting a few things later. Any advice is always very, very welcome!

* A versão em português brasileiro irá ser escrita, ainda. Eu espero! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Do something crazy today, take a good rest, be kind (especially with yourself) and drink water! Byeioo!~

                              [~*~]

Roman cleaned his hands on his jeans before stretching his back and sighing in relief when a small ‘pop’ came from it. The pal from the nearby library was a cool person – not that he would ever allow the other to hear this, because, damn, people who called Roman cocky definitely haven’t met them yet – but equally precise in get on his nerves with as few words as possible, even though the florist didn’t care that much as his dramatics discourses tried to convince everyone he did. 

Besides that, they was Patton’s friend and even more important, they made an accord with the Flower Shop’s owner and Roman was the one in charge to deliver their biweekly floral arrangement to the library’s decór. However, today Roman managed to win their discussion and therefore a couple of podcast episodes read by them (What? Their voice was quite nice!!).

Roman ignored the small ring of the door’s bell as he entered the Flower Shop, looking around to be sure there was no clients before taking his position behind the balcony, internally thanking how chill Patton was with his employees using phone during the shift as long there wasn’t no one near, especially as he unlocked his screen and a new notification popped in front of him.

Butterflies went immediately crazy on his stomach.

[Message from Panic! At Everywhere]

[P: Hey. So, are you still ok?]

Virgil kicked his blanket out of his bed, already feeling a tad of giddiness spread across his body, a small smirk finding its way to his face without him even realizing. Today was the day. Since when he and Roman talked on the last week about boundaries to be sure nothing had changed and decided Saturday as a good day for their session the one with purple hair couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander, picturing and re-picturing what would happen, even though Roman always insisted to never tell him his plans, wanting to keep everything as a surprise, which definitely didn’t help at all the excitement running on his veins.

Their session.

Their tickle session. It was only eleven in the morning and Virgil could already feel his skin tingle just by imagine Roman’s fingers grazing, dancing on it, carefully looking for all his weak spots both knew so well before coming with an entire new technique that would make the other (almost, barely, hardly) want to jump out of his skin so he could escape from the maddening tickly sensation.

He was going to love it. 

Also, it didn’t help that he spent the previous night and its following morning consuming all his favorite tickle content, dying on the spot (and on the reblogs) and skyrocketing his lee mood to the mountains.

Nevertheless, he tried to play nonchalant as answered the other’s new message.

[Message from Dumb(o)]

[D: Yes.]

[P: Cool.]

[D: You?]

[P: Yep.]

[D: Glad to know, Blushy Bug. Try to not alarm all of our neighborhood with your squeals and giggles before I get there, okay? ~

D: And yeah, plu-e-ase, continue with your so delightful tags on your reblogs, okay, Tickle me Emo? I’m learning so much new information with that. If only I would have an opportunity to use all of them today…]

Virgil snorted, one hand trying to hide his face as he attempted with all his might to ignore the flames taking over his cheeks as the teases sank and the memories from the day he conquered this nickname emerged from the deeps of his mind. So, Princey was already so over his head with being the ler this time? Thinking Virgil would be hiding his face on the pillow, squeaking and tittering helpless? Well, he would have a big storm coming, then.

Virgil got up, his footsteps leading him to the clean desk in the room, moving some of the objects so carefully chosen in order to get the perfect picture. Every single makeup  brush lined, gleaming under the lens of his camera, away enough so the viewer would be able to realize all their individualities but close enough to create an impact. 

Two can play this game.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent an image]

Roman clicked on it, eyes going immediately wide as he quickly slammed the cellphone’s screen on his red apron, his gaze running from a place to another to be sure no one was near or had seen the conversation or noticed the way his smile went from an ear to another.

[P: Nah. I’m too occupied choosing the perfect tools for today… I mean, there are just so many options, ya know? I especially prefer the smallest ones, their bristles softly running on my ribs, tracing their way across my tummy to get to the other side… yeah. That is the good stuff. Or maybe we could be experimenting the biggest ones today, letting them tease that spot right under my chin, the softness engulfing all the nerves… ]

Roman took a deep breath, realizing the other still typing.

[P: Anyway, don’t make a big deal of this, ‘kay? I know your imagination can be very fertile but try to not alert Patton with all your blush and twitching. You know he is a curious guy and will want to know why you’re so smiley. ;)]

    “Pai amado, (Dear God) he is going to kill me.” Roman crossed his arms, using all his will to no start wiggling them to nothing, a sudden urge to sing some nursery rhymes making him begin to humming quietly as attempted to gather enough concentration to type a proper, cool reply.

[D: Is that so? So, the big, badass Virgil Storm is excited to get all his tickly-tickle-tickles today? Is he excited to become a so helpless, so adorable mess of giggles and squeaks? To be teased and tickled until he can do nothing but give me those lovely snorts and wiggly-wiggles? ~

Awww. So cute. ~]

[P: Yeah, I am. So what? Wanna do something about that, Sir Sing a Lot? 

Ops, I forgot you’re at work rn. Tsc. Such a pity. Well, guess I will have to kill some time by looking at your precious collection of feathers, see if I find something interesting there.]

[D: You just wait for when I get home.]

[P: :)]

Virgil laid his phone at his side, hiding his face on the mattress, kicking just like he was some teenager in love from those generic movies. The squeals bubbled out from his lips, smiles blooming. He knew he probably was just digging his own grave, but, ha, as if he would fall without a fight. Plus, imagining Roman trying at every cost to keep a straight expression while reading his texts and then struggling to continue his work just as if nothing had happened, with that cute, excited smile planted on his face made a proud wave of power – and joy - hit him and that was a bonus which was worth it. 

Then his phone vibrated, indicating a new notification and a new flood of shivers as he unlocked his screen, freezing for a couple of heartbeats with the length of the message.  

[D: A poem for my dear Knightmare. ~

Once upon a time

There was a wiggley-wiggly lee

That just a few pokes

Made him giggle with glee

Some scribbles here

Some scratches there

You can tickle-tickle

He is ticklish everywhere!

What, you don’t believe me?

‘That much cute he can’t be!’

Well, then allow me to demonstrate

All the beautiful sounds he can create!

Give a few prodding on his ribs

And a quick digging on his hips

Some brushes on his toesies and feet

And don’t forget about these helpless pits!

(And hey, psst, if you squeeze his sides

The cutie, squeaky, wiggly lee,

Will be squealing in a happy delight)

This neck is also asking for tickly-kisses 

He always denies, always desire

Add to that some teasy whispers

And watch his cheeks be set on fire!

Once upon a time

There was a bratty, smug lee

That just a few tickle teases

Can make him a blushy mess

Just like now, you see!]

[…]

“Have a nice day. Thank you for coming!”

Roman waved to the client who got out from the Flower Shop, taming the smugness which threatened to take over his features as he realized that even though an hour had passed, no answer to his last text had arrived yet. He was perfectly aware of how weak Virgil was for any sort of rhymed tease and a whole poem – not his best, he had to admit – dedicated to him? He could almost see the other shrieking, hiding his red face on the pillow, lost in a mess of quiet peals of laughter and curses. His smile got even bigger, swelled in pride. And, well, if he couldn’t help it but push his luck a few inches further, his fingers already halfway to typing a small, itsy bitsy, new tease to his favorite emo lee, how could someone really blame him?

[D: Oh, sorry. Did I make the scary Virgil too much flustered to talk? Awww, I will miss your sassy remarks deeply and sing a ballad in your honor at the funeral. ~] 

He snorted at the amount of time the symbol of ‘typing’ appeared and disappeared on the conversation, using the ten minutes he took to be answered to organize a few sales signs on the glass in front of the store, gaining a dance on his step as the one-worded sentence shone on his phone.

[P: Bitch.]

[D: I have no idea of what you’re talking about. Is that something I said? I feel wounded.]

But a new thing popped up.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a video]

[P: :)]

It seemed like hours passed, even if he knew the downloading probably didn’t really take more than a few pieces of minute for him to hit the play.

The focus of the camera took a few seconds to adjust, the image trembling and shaking before going still, the crystal clear form of a small light brown, slightly spiked feather twirling between Virgil’s index and thumb locking his eyes on the screen. A quick, quiet sigh could be heard before the tickle tool descended to the palm extended on a desk, stopping by Virgil’s pulse.

The bristles grazed the skin there as the feather began to move on slow strokes, going from the left to the right, left and right, left and right… calmly making its way up, changing to small swirls as it contorted the form of the hand, giving to each finger a light tracing before concentrating on the palm, drawing a spiral which approximated inch by inch to the center. If Roman wasn’t so quiet, - even holding his breath, - maybe he wouldn’t be able to listen the incredibly low, contained huffs of laughter on the background, a soft snort escaping and making both hands tremble as the bristles hit the center of his hand, dancing around the spot for a bit. 

When it stopped, the tool was placed on the desk and then the camera started to move, stopping on Roman’s so very well-known golden with silver details box. Its lid laid next to it, letting its entire content to be proudly shown. The explosion of colors from the most diverse large, small, pointy, fluffy feathers took over the frame, however, a tiny piece of paper placed on the exact center of them was what captured his attention. The lens zoomed and focused, making him able to read the quick message written there.

“:)”

And then the screen went black. The video was over. 

Roman could feel his face being almost split in half by his grin, his fingers hitting the table top in complete frenzy since they hadn’t to hold the device anymore, curling and uncurling as the one who couldn’t just stay still started to bounce his right leg, ignoring the redness he felt crippling down his neck.

“Roman?”

He fully shrieked. Both him and Patton startled and jumped a few centimeters in the air with the sudden sound. The florist slapping his own hand on his mouth, trying with all his inner strength to stop the bubbly giggles which flooded non stop from his lips

“Sorry for the scare, kiddo,” the shine on his eyes free of any guilt as Patton bit his own knuckles proved the contrary, especially when the rest of an awed squeal escaped from his lips, only making the other to giggle harder, eyes closed, blush deepening and nose scrunched. “Aww, your giggles are so cute!” 

“Shuhuhush!!” The Flower Shop owner just smiled fondly, withholding his comments and patiently waiting for the other to recompose himself. When Roman looked at least a tad calmer he decided to make his decision to talk to him clear.

“I’m glad you’re in a good mood, Ro! I just wanted to remember today’s shift is already over. I need a bit of time to organize everything before the painter comes so we can discuss the new design of the Flower Shop. Thank you so much for the ideas, by the way! I can’t wait for you all to see the result! It will be so pretty!!” Roman’s wide eyes were enough of an explanation of why he wasn’t ready to go yet, probably having forgotten about their last month conversation. Although, the surprised look was away in an instant, a shine taking over his glare before he softened, locking his eyes with Patton.

“Of course, it will be, Patty-cake! With my magnificent ideas and your good taste, I really don’t think any other result besides wonderful and perfection will be possible!” He squeezed Patton’s cheeks and his friend stuck out his tongue at him, winning a quick poke on his ribs that made him squirms and yelp, quickly tittering and waving the other with his hands.

“Now shoo-shoo, go enjoy your afternoon!”

A devious smirk gleamed on Roman’s expression for a second. “You can count on it, Padre.” But then it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “Thank you, my mighty hero in a shiny armor! May the universe let our destiny align again in the future.”

“See ya, kiddo!” He replied, his tune also full of joy, watching the one with red hair going away, a happy bounce on his steps.

[…]

Virgil picked the phone in the first ring. “Roman, something happened?”

“Nope,” the purple lover sighed in relief, all the tension getting out of his body and being replaced by confusion, “nothing happened except that a handsome, incredible someone got out from his work earlier than expected and might be heading his home by now.”

That made Virgil shot up, biting his lower lip, butterflies freaking out. “No.” It was his whisper.

“Oh, yes. ~” Roman practically purred on the speaker. “any last words, my dear, defenseless Giggly Storm?”

Virgil just giggled and Roman had almost forgotten how that sound only was enough to spread an explosion of a warm, good feeling on his chest. “Aw, and here I was thinking I would have at least some challenge today. ~” He continued to tease.

Silence. 

“Go check your messages, Princeypie.”

And then he hung up. Roman fondly rolled his eyes, running to check the new notification on their conversation.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a photo]

It was Virgil, sitting on his bed criss crossed, one elbow resting on his thigh as he took the picture on the body mirror on the other side of the room, a strong blush very visible on his face half hidden by the device, wearing a short and Roman’s red crop top. A new message popped right under the photo.

[P: Get your butt here and tickle me, Sir Sing a Lot.’]

This emo was going to be the death of him.

[D: Aww, I don’t even get a smile?]

[P: You gotta work for those, Princey.]

Virgil definitely did not jump nor yelp as he heard the low, dangerous tune of an “evil” laughter echoes in the house coming from the living room, the sound of the front door being closed making his flight instincts kick in.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Virgil was already halfway to the most far away room where he could escape, trying to keep his reputation as he heard another set of footsteps quickly getting ground and following right behind him. Laughter and squeaks mixed in the air.

“Because I will.” Roman answered.

[neufdoigts]

Ramblings about sharp ends (seriously it's pointless and incoherent): spoilers for everything up to there!!

A Beautiful Bastard:

-ngl I basically only read sharp ends bc I heard there was a glokta short story so imagine how glad I was that it was the first one

-absolutely love Salem's pov, originally I was really bitter about how everytime we get a cameo from an old character we never get their pov, but I also love it when abercombie develops his side characters

-screamed a little bit a what a fuckboy glokta was like omg im such a simp

-the move with the lady's handkerchief shshshshhs I'm sorry I'll stop

-the way glokta seems to treat west here really makes how they reunite even crazier, like damn I know in the first trilogy he's a torturer but he's really mellowed out

-tunny is the hoid of first law

-"who'll bring my personal effects back to mother" I wanna know what his relationship with his mom is like who is his dad what kind of family did he have?? What kind of woman is his mother please I need to know

-the utter sense of juicy doom mwah

-however I feel like I didn't learn or gain that much from this short story compared to the others so

-4/5 because I'm obsessed with glokta which clouds my judgment

Small Kindnesses:

-WHEN I SAY I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT WHEN SEVERARD SHOWED UP SJSJHSHS

-I FUCKING LOVED THAT KID BACK IN FIRST LAW MAN WHEN HE WAS MAKING HIS LITTLE INVESTMENTS AND TAKING CARE OF HIS LITTLE BIRDS!! I just wanted the best for him!!

-thought jabre was vitari at first but then realized that wouldn't make sense because severard

-carcolf and shev jshshshwhwb that's a relationship and a half

-nice set up but didn't care that much at this point about it so 3/5

The Fool Jobs:

-here was when I realized that the stories were chronological and that there would just be a whole bunch of stories I wanted out of sharp ends that I just won't get

-tbh craw was never my favorite pov in the heroes and I didn't feel like I learned anything new or special in this story

-i alternated between skimming and feeling bored

-but I love whirrun and wonderful so

-2/5

Skipping Town:

-javre really is the baddest bitch in the circle of the world and this is when I was really hooked, but then the story ended! Damn you abercombie!

-3.5/5

Hell:

-TEMPLE BEST BOY YESSS

-a multitalented king!! Yes!!

-throughout red country I kept wanting temple to talk about his past and he did here

-brutal! Dagoska siege was my fave part of before they're hanged so! Yay!

-i also just have a thing for sieges in books, this is the impact of being obsessed with Shostakovich in middle school

-the way temple couldn't move when he thought he should have sacrificed himself for kahdia urGjjHhhgh

-i would say like he's come so far but he probably hasnt it's just that he's a lawyer in a small town now and doesn't need to worry about this

-amazing, 4.5/5

Two's Company:

-I PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING AT THIS ONE

-WHEN I MET JAVRE I WAS LIKE OH IT WOULD BE SO GREAT IF SHE MET WHIRRUN

-AND HERE HE IS!!

-"God – warriors, and their bloody titles, and their bloody introductions, and their bloody chest-puffing."sisjjsjs the self awareness yes shev you speak for all of us (except I'm a slut for their little names)

-every line in this one is just amazing I want to quote the whole thing

-when whirrun and javre go off to fuck sisjjsjs good for them poor shev

-5/5

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

-OOOH this one was so fucking juicy

-i feel so fucking bad for gorst oh my god my man like I know his whole thing with finree is unhealthy but there's just something about weeping in a stranger's arms that makes me so sad

-oof and when she dies. Brutal.

-didnt care that much about the other 2 povs in this one tho

-3.75/5 because I love gorst

Some Desperado:

-i thought that this part of shys life was so missing from red country! But here it is! Whoop!!

-but ehhh I feel like I didn't learn that much about shy except that her past is a but bloodier than I imagined?

-3/5

Yesterday, Near a Village Called Barden:

-i love it when people who are not gorst talk about gorst

-like the contrasts in his character are just so so good

-when he gave the farmer money 🥺

-when he commited a bunch of murder as mid day exercise🥺

-my love for gorst blinds me to all

-his little cup of milk🥺

-loved learned about gorsts daddy issues I always feel like I get a bit too little of characters' parents in these books

-always did wonder what happened to the farms everyone just kills a bunch of people in

Three's a Crowd:

-this jappo kid is either gonna be insufferable in future books or my favorite ever

-shev and JAVRES FRIENDSHIP UGH (highkey relate to shev all my friends are javres) I felt like it was really realistic and well done and I'm a whore for a good friendship

-tunny is literally fucking hoid is yolk is the Yoru sulfur of uselessness

-the way this ends with carcolf I was like yessss but then the next story happens god I feel like carcolf and shev r one of the best first law romances tbh like they way they both have this pile of mistrust and lust and longing and like they can't be with each other but the only thing stopping them is themselves but URGH it's so good.

-4.5/5

Freedom!

-SWORBREK WAS MY FAVE MINOR CHARACTER IN RED COUNTRY

-Like I know he was kinda comic relief but also the meta jokes about authors! And the way he killed cosca,

-god this story isn't even about the real cosca but it's still somehow about the Real Cosca (is this how he wanted to be viewed?)

-the legacy!! The vanity?!?

-also love that sworbrek gets to live until 95 what a king

-4.5/5

Tough times all over:

-Poor kurtis wtf most random side character I've ever felt extremely emotional about but I guess here I am

-so glad to know that Friendly ends up ok after cosca dies my man just wants to hear pretty ladies count and play dice what a guy

-my favorite detail about javres character is that she loves fucking like good for her I would be so scared of her

-SHEV AND CARCOLFS RELATIONSHIP IS REALLY TRYING TO END ME LIKE SEEING THIS FROM CARCOLFS POV LITERALLY BREAKS MY FUCKING HEART I HATE THEM BOTH I LOVE THEM

-5/5

Made a Monster:

-holy moly it wasn't until this short story that the gravity of "the bloody nine is the scariest dude, super evil, etc" really sinks in??

-like I felt genuine horror when bethod walked into the dungeon at the end??

-such a different dynamic between logen and dogman ?

-bethod is interesting as hell like callback to that speech he gives logen about wanting peace in last argument of kings like this man was lucky to die as late as he did

-it feels like the bloody nine in red country is closer to this version of the bloody nine, like a more extreme version, than the bloody nine we get in the main trilogy

-that passage about logen killing sheep really sealed it for me im ok with people being killed but every time abercombie kills a sheep or a horse I cry a lil bit inside

-absolutely crazy I feel like I learned so much about logen and bethod and I felt genuine fear 6/5

[obxsummer]

With You // John B. Routledge

word count: 2.6k

pairing: john b routledge x reader

warnings: near death experiences, yelling, cursing, topper being an ass

summary: you didn’t think breaking up with topper would end with broken bones and a concussion but then again, you never expected to fall in love with a pogue either.

requested: can you do a john b imagine where instead of him being pushed off the hawks nest it’s her?

a/n: reader takes sarah’s place in this scene. a few things are twisted around for this to flow so I hope that’s okay! thank you for 100 followers!! I’m so excited to see where this blog goes :)

masterlist

ask me stuff :)

--

Midsummers had easily turned into a disaster quickly. Your dress flowed in the wind as you danced around with friends, sneaking in some alcohol whenever you had the chance. You hated the fact that you were here with Topper, especially when your mind was on John B the whole time.

Someone grabbed your shoulder and spun you around mid-dance. “JJ?” You asked as you recognized the blond in front of you. He was wearing a white button down with black slacks, looking quite dressed up for how he usually would.

“Yep,” He responded as he twirled you around. He held a folded piece of paper in front of you. “I got a, uh, note from Vlad.”

“From-”

JJ cut you off by sushing you and pressing a finger to his lips. “Yeah.”

“From Vlad?” You asked as you continued to make it look like you were dancing with each other. “Okay?”

“Read the note,” JJ directed as he winked before he stepped away.

You smiled and turned to hide the note from the crowd as you unfolded the paper to read what it said.

Meet me at bag drop; Vlad

With a quick glance around you to see if your parents, or Topper was watching, you took off out of the crowd to walk up on the porch. Thankfully, the amount of people lessened as you approached the bag drop. John B was standing there in all of his glory, backpack on with a buttoned down shirt as usual.

“Vlad,” You whispered as you snuck up behind him.

He turned around at your voice, a smile forming on his lips as he saw you. “Wow. Um… you look beautiful.”

You laughed at the awkward nature before jumping forward to hug him tightly. “Hi,” You whispered as you buried your head into his neck while your fingers played with his hair.

“Hi,” He said back as he held you close. He was so grateful you were here, even in the midst of one of the biggest Kook parties of the year.

“Oh, my God. You would not believe what happened. As soon as I got home, I had to sneak past-”

John B held up his finger to pause you. “I-I I’m sure that’s great, but I-I gotta tell you something.”

You stopped your story and took a step back. “Okay.”

“I found… the gold.”

You swore you could’ve dropped to the floor right then. “You found it?” You asked in shock as you grabbed his forearms.

“Yeah, and you’re not going to believe where it is. It’s at Tannyhill,” He explained.

You shook your head slightly. “Wait, what?”

“Sh!” He hissed as he covered your mouth with his hand. You mumbled an apology as you looked to make sure nobody heard. “Look, I got the letter translated. Okay? There was this coded message, and I-I need the plat map. Know what a plat map is?”

“Yes, I know what a plat map is!” You defended.

“Okay, it’s like a blueprint of Tannyhill and it’s in your dad’s office, okay? If I get in, I can find the gold, and we can, that’s fine!”

You leaned forward to shut him up with a kiss. Nothing felt better than just holding him in your arms, even if everyone else thought it was wrong.

“Hey, Y/N, is that you?”

At the sound of Topper’s voice, you shoved John B to the ground with a curse. “Shit! We’ve gotta get out of here.”

John B crawled along the wood of the desk to get out of view. “Meet at the Hawk’s Nest at midnight. Bring the map.”

You saluted him before adjusting your dress and hair to go deal with Topper. With a deep breath, you turned on your heel to walk over where he was standing. “Hey!” You greeted as you rounded the corner to stop in front of him.

“Y/N, what are you doing out here?” He asked sternly. He continued glancing over to where you had been with John B as if the Pogue was going to pop around the corner.

“Oh, um, Scarlet told me she had hidden some vodka or something. I couldn’t find it though,” You lied as you fixed the flower crown on your head.

Topper nodded but you could tell he didn’t believe anything you were saying. “Is that who you were talking to over there?”

Your stomach dropped as you knew he had seen you. Maybe not necessarily who you were talking to, but he knew there was someone else involved. “I wasn’t talking to anyone.”

“Was I just seeing things? I thought, like, I don’t know, I was watching you have a conversation over there.”

You shook your head. “I was talking to people from the party.”

“Hey, what’s-” Topper reached out to stop you from leaving. “What’s going on? I just feel like… I feel like you’ve been a little off tonight.”

“No, I’m fine,” You defended as you tried to get around him again, “I’m fine, Topper.”

He grabbed your arm again and pulled you back roughly as you gasped. “Seriously, seriously. I don’t want to make a scene. Just tell me what the hell is going on. Just tell me the truth.”

“I am telling you the truth!” You argued as you stepped back from him.

“No, cut the shit. Just tell me the truth.”

“Okay, fine!” You ripped your arm out of his grip. “I can’t handle the constant interrogation, okay?” You walked away without another word back towards the party. You made eye contact with Kiara as JJ was being dragged out of the building. He continued to make comments the entire way out, grabbing Kiara and Pope as he went. You could see John B at the edge of the chaos, waiting for his friends to follow along. You watched with a smile, wanting nothing more than to kick off your shoes and run after them, but it would have to wait until later. You had a map to steal.

--

After a brief lie to your dad to get the maps and promise that you were going to be spending the night at a friend’s, you snuck out of the house to head to Hawk’s Nest to meet John B. Your heart was pounding as you waited amongst the wind and the sound of a storm in the distance. You held the map tightly in your hand as lightning lit up the sky amongst the clouds.

You looked over as you saw something cross your vision to see John B climbing up the stairs. “Hi,” You greeted him as he walked closer. “I got the map. Do you wanna see?” You opened the folded piece of paper slightly.

“Oh, shit,” He laughed as the wind threatened to take the paper out of his hand. “Holy hell.”

You glanced up at him. “Did you tell your crew you were here with me?”

“Did you?” He retaliated.

You shook your head as you pulled your hair up to keep it out of your face. “No, I will, though. I don’t care. And.. I’m breaking up with Topper.”

He stared at you in shock, the lightning reflecting off of his face. “Really?”

You nodded. “Yeah. What, you don’t think that’s a good idea?”

John B was quick to shake his head. “No, no, no. Um, it’s.. it’s uh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.”

A huge clap of thunder exploded over your head, causing you to practically jump into John B’s arms out of shock. “Oh, my God!” You laughed as you continued to hug him. “What are we doing up here?

John B held you closer as the wind whipped around you while he looked down at you with a smile. “I have no idea. You wanna go down?”

You rested your head on his shoulder as your fingers sorted through his hair. You pressed your lips to his neck gently. John B’s hands were warm on your back and you wished you could just stay here with him forever. “No,” You mumbled. You leaned back to look at him.

“Neither do I.” His hands pulled you closer as he kissed you roughly. Rain started to sprinkle on your face as you cupped his cheek.

“I knew it, Y/N.” You broke away in shock to see Topper standing in front of you, looking drunk off his ass. John B pushed you behind him, the two of you backing up slowly. “I knew you were lying to me.”

You felt no remorse for your actions and instead, this kind of solidified your decision to leave him. “Topper?”

“You’re a stupid, lying whore. You know that?” He shouted at you.

You shook your head, your anger getting the best of you. “Oh, so first I’m a prude and now I’m a whore?” The decision to not have sex with Topper always weighed you down, but now you wished you would’ve slapped him in the face instead.

“Topper, stop, man,” John B interfered as the blond attempted to hit him. “Hey, hey!”

You moved in front of John B to push Topper back but he continued to scream at you guys, “Tell him to back off, because I’m about to beat your fucking ass! I’m gonna drown him like your old man.”

“Topper, go home!” You shouted as he continued to fight against you. “Get out!”

Topper glared at you, “Shut the hell up, you bitch!” He moved to lunge for John B but you intercepted, stopping him short. The force of Topper’s arms sent you backwards as you fought to regain your balance.

There’s this saying that you don’t really have a fear of heights, but rather a fear of falling. You weren’t sure which it was, the only thing you could tell was that falling from a three story tower was absolutely terrifying.

You didn’t feel the impact of the ground, but you could feel the dirt under your fingers. Your whole body had gone numb. You groaned as you shifted slightly, feeling water pour over your face as it started to pour.

“Oh, my God.” John B’s face appeared above yours as he slid on the ground. You continued to blink, trying to clear the black spots from your vision, but you were so tired it hurt. He tapped your cheek gently as he pulled you in his lap. “Hey, hey. Come on, can you open your eyes, please? Come on babe.”

You groaned again, feeling the pain spread as he shifted you. “J, stop,” You mumbled as you grabbed his hand to hold.

“Hey, no, no, no. You’re gonna be fine,” He promised as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “JJ! Somebody help! Pope! Kie!”

You let out a laugh at the name of your ex-best friend. “Kie’s gonna hate me for this.”

“Kie doesn’t hate you,” He reassured as he wiped rain drops off your cheeks. “I promise. You’re gonna be okay. You just gotta stay with me. I’m right here.”

The rushed sounds of his friends’ footsteps followed after a moment and suddenly, JJ’s face was looming over yours. “Dude, what happened?”

John B stood up with the help of Pope to make sure you stayed in his arms. “I-I don’t know what to do, we have to help her. Topper was trying to fight with me and-and she got in the middle and he pushed her and…”

“Where the hell is he?” JJ’s tone was angry as he looked around for the Kook.

“I don’t know, look it doesn’t matter!” John B snapped as he watched you. “Someone go get help, now!”

He couldn’t lose you, not when everything was just starting to come together, not when he was truly becoming happy with you by his side. You meant more to him than he would ever tell and if you didn’t recover from this, he would never forgive himself.

--

There were a few things you noticed when you woke up. One, was the annoying beeping noise next to your head that drove you crazy. Two, was the tightness on your left wrist that was itching nonstop. And third, there was someone’s thumb running across the back of your hand soothingly. You took a deep breath as you shifted slightly, forcing your eyes to open.

“Hey,” John B’s voice was quiet as he sat next to you, his hand in yours as he stayed at your side. He lifted your hand to kiss the back of it before standing up.

“Hey,” You returned as you tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes. “Where am I?”

He sighed, “St. Olive’s. You fell from the Hawk’s Nest. You have a concussion and a broken wrist.”

You looked over to see the black cast on your arm, already covered with John B’s scribble alongside a smiley face in silver marker. Despite the pain, you lifted your arm slightly to see his signature closer. “Did my dad find out?”

John B winced, “Kinda. He was here earlier but he said he wanted to hear the full story from you.”

You groaned, not wanting to explain any bit of what happened to your dad. He probably wouldn’t even believe you anyway, especially because of Topper’s influence in the whole event. You attempted to sit up, wincing at the effort.

“Whoa, whoa. Hang on,” He paused your actions. “Be careful.”

“John B,” Your dad interrupted the conversation as he entered the room. “Do you mind if I talk to her?”

John B shook his head and stood from his chair. “No, not at all, sir. I’ll see you later.”

As much as you didn’t want him to leave, you knew the conversation ahead wasn’t going to be fun. Despite the need for recovery, all you wanted was to be back in John B’s arms, loving the comfort and security he provided. Glancing down at the bandana tied around your wrist, you knew you’d be able to be with him again sometime soon.

--

You walked on the screened-in porch as quiet as possible. You were able to leave the hospital a couple hours after John B left you with your dad. You would’ve gone to him right away, but you were mandated bed rest at least for 24 hours, courtesy of your dad.

Walking through the door, you noticed the teen sleeping on the couch, completely oblivious to the fact that you were hovering over him. You held his bandana over his nose, just above his face. “Missing something?”

He startled away, his face smacking the piece of fabric in your hand. “Shit,” He mumbled as he realized it was you. “What are you doing here?”

You stepped around the couch to sit by his feet as you shrugged. “I missed you.”

“You missed me?” He repeated as if he didn’t believe you. You nodded. A smile formed on his lips as he reached forward to pull you with him, the two of you taking up every inch of the couch as you practically laid on top of him. You rested your head against his chest as he kissed your hair. “God, I missed you so much.”

“Yeah?” You asked as you looked up at him, kissing him softly. The warmth he provided melted away all of your aches and worries. You were just happy to be here with him.

He shook his head at you as you continued to kiss. He hoped this wasn’t a dream. He had waited so long to have someone like you in his life, and even though he never envisioned it to be you, he was so glad it was. Having you in his arms felt like home, and even if he was dreaming, he never wanted to wake up.

[yetanothertaylor]

Fuck it, honesty hour

Since I really don’t have anyone in my life to talk to, let’s go to my gooooood friend Tumblr to deal with my inconsequential homosexual bullshit. So.

On top of working from/living at work (however you view current affairs because both feel accurate) and an ongoing pandemic impacting our lives and our normal way of coping through life, I’ve just been either meh as hell, stressed or sad.

Work is stressful. I’ve been hearing “it’ll get better” like I’m a bullied thirteen year old closet case who can’t walk to the choir building without fear for his life again. That’s a fun feeling to experience again. Who needs Agatha Harkness to relive past trauma?

Because of the pandemic, my stress relieving hobbies are nonexistent now. I can kind of still do theatre, but the stress of trying to produce shows during a pandemic and unknown restrictions neutralizes any stress that is relieved.

But most of all (and trust me, I fucking hate that this is what’s controlling my sadness) is how mother fucking lonely I feel. After my last relationship ended with getting socked in the face by my ex and the majority of the LGBTQ+ community in the area taking his side because he’s from here, I’ve felt really fucking shitty for over a damn year. I feel like I haven’t been able to express that feeling without getting attacked on social media for saying “I feel like shit and fuck my ex and his friends for making me feel this way.” It’s as if any ties I had to our community, and I use that term loosely, are severed and burned. They’re done. So yeah, we’re in a pandemic and we should all be suffering through bouts of loneliness and lack of sex right? Wrong. I seem to be the only person in (what’s left of) my friend group not fucking multiple people a week or talking to someone with mutual interest. That is just more fuel to the fire of insecurity. Am I that unappealing and unattractive that nobody wants to talk to me? And I say that at the risk of sounding shallow as hell. Because it feels like the only people who want to interact with me I have zero interest in. There’s no physical attraction, no sense of intellectual connection, and ZERO personality that makes me want to have a conversation with them.

So why am I bitching on Tumblr instead of talking to a friend? Hmmm... let’s see. None of my female friends I feel close enough to to disclose this type of information without concern that I’m talking about a mutual friend. Any of my gay friends (with one glaring exception, stay tuned) that still like me, just wanna fuck me. They’re my friends for one reason or another. I either value the friendship too much, don’t have a romantic connection, or don’t want to pursue a further relationship with them. That’s stressful because I feel like there’s no way to express that stance without sounding like a dick even when they’re being as subtle as an elephant in a minefield about wanting me to fuck them or date them. So I can’t say woah is me to any of them because for SOME REASON they think “I’d fuck you” will make me feel better about feeling unloved and unwanted. Maybe I’m just a fucking asshole, but that just comes across as selfish on their part using my insecurity for their gain. I don’t know.

Oh yeah, the glaring exception. So my roommate is my best fucking friend in the world. We’ve been friends for 7 years, and that’s the longest friendship I’ve honestly ever maintained. So all has been good the past few years we’ve lived together. Our friendship started as FWB in college. For a minute, there was dating potential but neither of us were at a place to seriously consider it. Flash forward a few years, and we’re now housemates. I’ve always secretly harbored feelings for him and used that as a gauge for if it truly liked a guy. I figured it was a safe metric since we’d never be more than friends again. But then he starts flirting with me around the house and we start having random hookups. That titillates stupid Taylor’s feelings. I start hearing the things I’ve dreamed of hearing from him for years. But it’s so infrequent. I know he’s fucking multiple random people when I can barely get a “hello” for someone on Grindr/Tinder/Scruff/Hinge (I’m trying y’all). I’m sitting here in bed after too much Crown feeling down. I feel like my low self esteem has made me his sex toy whenever he can’t get anything better because I’m 15 feet away. It’s just a sucky feeling, and I know I need to address it with him. I just don’t know how to handle it because we’ve never talked about our hookups outside of the heat of the moment.

So yeah, just needed to get that off of my chest. I doubt anyone read that, and if you did I am so very sorry. Maybe sober Taylor will read this and feel some type of way. If you could DM him some positive words of encouragement, I think he’d appreciate it. Sorry.

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)

yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe

you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his

hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE

[piracytheorist]

A Kiss for Good Luck (10/15)

Summary: So this is the story of one born lucky, and one born unlucky. Fate will keep making them cross paths, but is it to bring them together, or to test them? Captain Swan AU.

Rating: T (make sure you’re okay with the warnings on AO3)

Word count for this chapter: 4.9k (50k in total) AO3

Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3

~

Chapter 10: Killian Jones, October 19th 2015 – May 19th 2016

Killian only holds back because Emma does; if she gave him any indication, he'd be really reaching into the kiss. She pulls back gently, her cheeks having gone slightly red.

He directs his eyes back into hers to distract himself from the fact that she either enjoyed the kiss a lot, or didn't enjoy it at all. He's about to smile at her when he sees Eloise from the corner of his eye and turns to her. She's looking at them with her typical cold expression that hides a ton of judgement underneath.

He swallows his sigh for Emma's sake; he's so tired of Eloise and her everything. He shrugs at her casually. Did she actually expect something from him?

And if she did, does he care anymore?

He turns back to Emma. “Don't worry,” he says, hoping Eloise's appearance didn't dampen the mood, and a thought jumps into words before he has the time to stop it. "Wanna add me on Facebook? It's Killian Jones, if, if you're interested...” To do what? Find something to tell her, find something! “We can share favourite songs."

Emma snorts, amused. "Like we're in high school?"

He doesn't have the best memories from high school, but he remembers enough about that awkwardness to know he feels similarly now. "I won't stalk you if you don't add me, just saying."

His stomach nearly does a flip when Emma smirks at him. She reaches into her belt bag and takes out her phone, which immediately slips from her fingers.

"Shit," she says. When she picks it up, they both can see that the screen cracked a bit. "Shit!"

"Oh. I feel as if I've caused that." As if he hasn't made things awkward enough.

Emma shakes her head. "It's replaceable. Don't worry. Killian Jones, you said?"

His chest feels warm at the sound of his full name in her voice. He should stop her; even in the slightest chance that she's actually interested, he's not the best person for any kind of connection.

But Emma is quick with her phone and says, "Friend request sent,” and he nearly leans down to kiss her again. “So we can chat about hot, new releases," she adds, still sounding amused.

He's about to ask for her last name. His battery is dying and he probably won't have the time to open the app before his phone turns off, and now that she did add him, his curiosity is skyrocketing.

"Hey," an older woman calls at Emma from the side. The woman looks at him with a slightly cautious glare, and looks a bit alike with Emma.

"Coming," Emma tells her. "So, we'll keep in touch," she tells him, actually pointing at him with her phone.

He just smiles in response, giving her a slight wave goodbye.

Watching them leave, his eye catches Eloise pouting, keeping her arms folded and staring at him from afar. He snorts and takes out his phone, impatient to accept Emma's request and find out her full name.

Instead of the Facebook app, he accidentally opens the camera, just as Klaus Meine walks right by him. He sees Killian, phone in hand, stops walking, and smiles.

"S-Selfie?" is all Killian can say, shocked.

He doesn't even see Eloise walk furiously towards him, his eyes fixed on the perfect selfie he got with the lead singer of the group they just watched perform.

"What was all that about?" Eloise says upon reaching him.

Killian looks at her, retort ready. "That was me taking a selfie with Klaus Fucking Meine."

Eloise scoffs. "You were kissing that bitch."

"Oh, come on,” he taunts her. “You're just jealous you didn't get a selfie."

"I'm serious," she says, her 's' whistling through her teeth.

"Serious? About what? We're just fucking, and you know that. You treat me like a piece of meat and you expect full commitment on my side? Maybe you're thinking of the wrong woman as a 'bitch'."

Eloise is speechless. And he is suddenly feeling powerful.

"You know what? Fuck that. We're done. You drive back to Brighton, I'm not gonna put up with a return trip if you're involved."

"And what are you gonna do?" she spits back at him.

"We're right in the center of town. I can afford to stay in a hotel for one night." He starts leaving.

"It's late! You'll get charged double!" She hasn't even taken a step towards him – she's waiting for him to go back to her.

She can wait all she wants.

He turns towards her, walking backwards. "I don't give a bloody damn," he tells her, then turns forward and leaves.

He leaves her.

How did he forget how calmer his nights are without her? The receptionist doesn't even charge him double – they'd just prepared a room that got cancelled last minute, and providing Killian leaves on time the next morning, it's just the standard price.

The room is nice, yet his mind is still going back to Eloise.

Damn, he left her. He made it.

And all because Emma was bold enough to kiss a damn perfect stranger.

He picks up his phone, now connected to a charger the hotel offered. Emma's friend request is right at the top of his notifications.

He smiles as he accepts.

His first day away from Eloise brings to the forefront how their relationship was way, way more than sex, only in a bad way. How he'd go to sleep some nights, nearly shaking with despair to go buy a bottle and with fear that Eloise wouldn't react well to him doing that. How that bled through to other parts about his life, how he had let her control it, and how she jumped at the chance to do so. He has a full day on his own to reflect on his thoughts and worries with a clear mind.  

It ends on one conclusion; reconciling with family.

Nemo greets him back with open arms, and though Shakespeare keeps a collected face, he embraces Killian warmly too.

He spends the night there, falling asleep at the sight of his old drawings on the wall of his old bedroom. He hasn't picked up a pencil in some time...

Nemo doesn't ask anything the next morning. He's just happy Killian is back and willing to connect, and gets him to try playing chess with him, his new hobby. Killian doesn't even have the nerve to joke about Nemo's apparent mid-life crisis.

Once again, he's being more than Killian deserves. But maybe, once again, Killian can work towards being a man deserving of that love.

Before lunch, he's found himself with a picture of a forest landscape open on his phone, sketching from reference, when he receives a video call from Emma.

His heart speeds up. His hand is shaking slightly as he picks up the phone and looks at the screen, itching to tap “Accept”. He runs to the bathroom, making sure he's presentable, then back at his room, settles on his chair and accepts the call.

Her face fills the screen, and he gives her a cocky smile. She looks fresh from sleep; a different sight from the one in the concert, but what a sight still.

“Good morning,” he says. Is it? “Or afternoon? Have you gone back yet?”

“Yeah,” Emma says, smiling wide, “I arrived last night.”

“How was your trip?”

“A bit more tiring than I'm used to. But safe.”

“Than you're used to? You do it often?”

Emma explains about her extended family in Norway, her visits there a few times a year, and being used to long flights.

He finds himself feeling a little jealous. The only two times he travelled abroad brought years of bad fortune on him.

Emma definitely seems to hold something back, but he pays no mind; his closet has no fewer skeletons. They start chatting about music and end up talking about their plans for the holidays.

Time flies by and it's only when he hears Nemo call for lunch that he realizes they've been talking for an hour.

Bloody hell, he thinks, why do they have to eat so early?

He excuses himself, telling her he'll see her soon, and he can't help noticing how she seems to be holding back something again. He hopes he didn't disappoint her, and ends the call.

He looks at her name on his screen and he nearly taps it to call her again.

He locks his phone and puts it down. Wait a few days, give her time, he thinks.

He goes back to his apartment that same evening, and there's a box of the stuff he kept at Eloise's place. He checks the drawers he kept for her, and they're empty as well. Eloise's spare key is inside the box, with a note for him to not bother with his spare key of her place, as she'll be changing the locks.

He actually feels surprised. That's really mature of her, and he doesn't have to see her again.

Maybe that's what she wants too. Better for both of them.

Before he goes to sleep he starts looking for therapists, and though he doesn't contact anyone yet, he considers it a step towards the right direction. He'll get there.

He calls Emma three days later, and before he's even noticed it, they develop a schedule, chatting two times a week. He wishes to talk to her more often, but he still sees the reserved expression he knows too well on her face, and he knows she needs time. Of course, half the time it's her calling him, and she participates in conversation as much as he does.

She wants it, he knows. She's just taking it slow, and if he's honest, he needs slow too. What he had with Eloise may have led to him meeting Emma, but it still had an impact on him – and not that long after he lost the woman he loved, too.

The same afternoon he makes an appointment with a new therapist – and dreading it, considering the pile of information he'd have to give them – he gets a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Is this Killian Jones?”

“Who is it?”

“My name is George Rogers, I'm a private detective. Could you confirm your name, please?”

The detective is looking into Milah's murder. He's – lawfully – found suspicious contacts between Gold, his false witnesses and two now convicted criminals in the States, and he's opening her case. Killian's case too, considering he was assaulted as well.

Killian can barely speak. He'd lost all hope that Gold would receive any judgement from anyone but Killian himself. He thought he'd just have to live with the burden that Milah's murderer walks the streets free until he would grow desperate enough to get a gun and kill him himself.

He agrees to meet with the detective at his office and he looks at his phone when he hangs up, catching his shocked expression on the reflection, unable to even close his mouth.

When Killian opens the door to Rogers' office, he freezes as he sees the man.

Rogers just gives him a warm smile. “Mr. Jones.” Then he nods at Killian's stunned silence. “I know.”

The resemblance is uncanny; Rogers has a few grey streaks and more wrinkles, so Killian feels as if he's looking into what he'll look like about ten years from now. Physically, at least.

Rogers has acquired the testimony Killian gave when he was still at the hospital, and is trying to piece the crime together and prove the two convicted criminals are the two bodyguards Gold had hired that fateful day. With a bit of luck and skill, he can lead them to a confession. They're already in prison and it seems that Gold's finances haven't been going well lately. If he hasn't been keeping his false witnesses content, they may not be hard to persuade.

Rogers excuses himself for a moment, and Killian looks dumbfounded at the chessboard Rogers has set on his desk. Nemo didn't pick the habit up, but Killian did. He starts playing on his own, trying to distract himself from the pile of questions for Rogers and the anxiety that is building up. He doesn't want to let himself hope for Gold's arrest; he won't be able to deal with the result of the case going cold again.

“Do you play?” Rogers asks, nodding at the board.

Killian shrugs. “I started a few weeks ago. I play a bit online to...” He looks up at him, still a bit shocked at their physical resemblance. “You said you opened this case. Why?”

Rogers sits down at his desk. “It's my job. I was hired to look into it.”

“By whom?”

“Confidentiality, mate. I was looking Gold up, and after some digging I found out you had accused him for murder and assault.”

“I tried.”

Rogers shakes his head. “That bastard's a few million pounds away from starting a bloody mob. Hiring a few false witnesses is a piece of cake for him. Unfortunately for him, he can't cover all his sources and expenses. Questions start piling; where did he get all that money, and where are they going to? Especially now that his businesses are supposed to be failing.”

Rogers can't promise anything, but he looks determined to do his best. Killian doesn't allow himself any hope. He focuses on his life; going back to work with Shakespeare, finding a new AA group, starting therapy again, and talking to Emma.

He doesn't realize how much he's changing his own life until Emma points out that he told her once he's an early bird, yet there he is at two in the morning his time, chatting with her. And indeed, Shakespeare was willing to give him a late shift, but Killian didn't mind it that much either. He shifts the conversation to her choice of snack, making a sour face at the pop-tart in her hand.

“How can you eat that thing? It's like sugar-coated sugar,” he teases her.

Emma laughs, saying it's European candies that need a good dose of sugar instead.

With Christmas approaching, Rogers takes time off officially but keeps doing some work from home, and he calls Killian one evening to discuss some details about his testimony.

Killian finds a taxi fast, which manages to avoid all traffic and red lights and he arrives early at Rogers'. He's in a bathrobe and his hair is wet when he opens his door.

“You're early,” he says. “Come in.”

Killian steps in, immediately noticing the girl sitting cross-legged in front of a coffee table, playing chess.

“That's my daughter, Alice. Perhaps she can teach you a couple tricks,” Rogers says, smiling. “I'll be back in a minute.” He disappears behind a door.

“Wow,” Alice says, looking at him. “You do look like papa. He told me so but I didn't believe him.” She turns innocently to her chessboard.

A lump forms in Killian's throat; neither he nor Rogers commented much on their resemblance, but with another person so close to Rogers pointing it out, he can't help the possibilities that fill his thoughts. His deadbeat father had already left two children; what would one more before them change anything?

Could it really be?

“Can I ask you something?” Killian asks when Rogers is done with his questions. “How old are you?”

Rogers looks a bit taken aback. “Forty-five. Why?”

Thirteen years older than him. Which means his father would've been fourteen when Rogers was born. Unlikely, but still...

“Were you born here?”

Rogers sits back in his chair, his eyebrow raised. “Actually, I was born in Seattle, but my folks moved us back to Plymouth when I was five.” He pauses. “Are you curious...” he points between their faces.

Killian shrugs, but relaxes. The possibility of his father, at thirteen years old, travelling to Seattle and impregnating a woman are downright impossible.

“I was also curious, when I found your file and saw your picture. But I see a lot of people in my line of work, and trust me, there is a notable number of almost twins out there.”

Feeling comforted, but still vulnerable, Killian confesses. “It's just... my father was not much of a parent. I wouldn't put it past him to have another child he never mentioned to us.”

“I understand. I can assure you, though, it's just a coincidence.”

“It's also that... my mother's name was Alice.” He smiles at that, though.

“Oh. That is peculiar. But I simply liked the name for my daughter, and it's not like it's a super rare name.” He then turns to look at the clock as a thunder rumbles somewhere not too far. “I'll be making some dinner, would you like to stay?”

“No, it's alright.”

“You can either help, if you want, or keep Alice company as she teaches you tricks.” Rogers rubs at Alice's back, who has come to stand next to her father.

“How long has she been playing?”

“Since before I could read,” she says, proudly crossing her arms.

Killian smiles at her.

“For real,” Rogers says. “She was still in preschool when I started teaching her. That's more than six years of experience.”

“Which is why I always beat you,” Alice tells him.

Killian stands up. “Then I have no hope against you. Thanks for the offer, but you've already done enough.”

“Come on, mate, it's pouring rain outside.”

Killian smiles a little wider. “I have a good feeling about it.”

Indeed, the rain slows to a drizzle and the taxi he calls arrives quickly.

Most of his nights for the past four years have been plagued by the thought that he'd never see Gold pay for his crimes. He had a few nights of blissful calm, either brought by alcohol or the occasional good time the last couple months, but this is the first night that he feels at least relieved. Not confident or hopeful, yet; he knows better than that.

Emma confesses to him that she won't be spending Christmas with her extended family and that she lied to her friends so that they wouldn't cancel their plans for her sake.

He sneakily looks into flights for Boston while he's still on chat with Emma; a cold dread spreads in him when he's reminded of what both his trips to the States caused him.

He goes to bed very late that night, hating himself. Emma needs someone to spend the holidays with, she wants someone, and he's too afraid of his own superstitions to be that someone for her. And the worst part is, he used to be lucky. He knows what's it like to throw caution to the wind and still everything coming out fine. It's the first time in four years that he's started to feel that things have started going well. He's too afraid to push his luck.

He resorts to sending her a collection of his favourite seashells that he's gathered over the years as a gift. He's happy to hear it arrives in time, and he has a celebratory video chat with Emma on Christmas day, going along with her and her pop-tarts.

He regrets not going to Boston, or at least offering to help pay her tickets so she could come visit him, when it's New Years Eve and he has to show a happy face for his family while he knows Emma is all alone.

Just two hours before midnight his time, he takes Nemo's car and manages to find an open toy store. The owner says Killian is the luckiest bastard of the year, as he was about to close for the night. Killian buys a confetti cannon, thanks him, and wishes him a happy new year.

He allows himself exactly two hours of celebrating with his family before he goes to bed. He wakes up at half past four and sets everything up for a surprise celebration for Emma, checking at least three times that he's got his timezones right and it's still before midnight in Boston.

He starts calling her at quarter to five, but she's not online. Then again at ten to five. When she doesn't answer at five to five, he sends her an SMS to turn her WiFi on. As he waits for her to become active, he prepares to tease her for falling asleep on the one night most people want to stay up. He sets into a smug face and calls her immediately after her dot turns green.

His face falls when she accepts his call and he sees her tear-stained face, broken by a sorrowful expression.

“Oh, Swan,” he says.

Emma bursts into sobs. He waits for her, he doesn't give a damn if they miss the countdown, they can do one of their own. As long as Emma is alright.

As her sobs slow down, he feels tears in his own eyes. How he wishes he could reach over and hold her.

What a coward he was. When she wipes away her tears, he gives a silent promise to never let her experience anything like that again.

“Thank you,” Emma says.

Killian looks at the clock he's set up. “It's thirty seconds now. Do you want me to count with you?”

“Yes, please.”

He sees the smile on his preview turn more cheerful.

Emma looks at him, her smile widening as the seconds go down, contrasting her red and puffy eyes.

Killian pops the confetti cannon, but his eyes never leave her reflection. “Happy New Year!” he says.

“You stayed up,” she says.

“I... woke up,” he admits. “I mean, I went to sleep a bit early, and even I would say two is early for New Year's, so I snuck in a few hours of sleep before the alarm went off.”

Her face is so vulnerable, and the wish to hold her overwhelms him.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” she says.

“I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you change the year alone.” Nor if I let it happen again. “Especially after you told me what you didn't tell your friends. Losing a bit of sleep is nothing.”

He has a whole array of snacks prepared for his late night with her, but he sets it aside when she says that all she has is the few pop-tarts left from Christmas.

She seems to love them so much. “Perhaps I chose the wrong flavor,” he says. “If I visit Boston one day you'll get me all kinds and I'll taste them all.”

He almost says 'when' instead of 'if'. But he has to be rational; financially he cannot yet support a trip, and he owes Emma an honest promise only when it's possible.

There's not much he's wanted from life; and by now he's learned to not push for more than he has. But is it too much to think that he's in love with her? That he's reminded what it feels like, to feel his heart full of love and not thirsty for revenge?

Is it too much to hope he can have something with her?

He makes himself some coffee, determined to stay with her until she falls asleep. Her eyes are drooping closed when he takes the phone to the window, to show her the lighter blue streak of the early sunrise. Her eyes are already closed when he sits back and sings Auld Lang Syne to her. When the song ends, he lets a few seconds go by before he calls her name once.

When there's no response, he ends the call and sends her “Happy new year, love,” in text.

The new year arrives promising. Only three days in, Rogers calls him to tell him one of Gold's fake witnesses confessed.

Killian needs to attend two sets of trials; one for Milah's murder, and one for the assault against him. Both are draining, but Nemo is beside him, and Killian bursts into tears when Gold gets life sentence.

He thinks about Milah's boy, Jack; he's barely fifteen years old, and he's dealing with what Killian had hoped he never would; seeing one – or in his case, probably both – of his parents as a monster. Gold had remarried; right after divorcing him, Belle, his now second ex-wife, was the one who had hired Rogers to look into Gold. She attested against Gold in the trial, but she seemed to care a lot for the boy.

Three weeks later he hears that Belle took custody of Jack. Killian is sure the boy hates him already; all he can do is hope his stepmother will care and provide for him.

His heart had stopped aching for revenge, but that doesn't mean it's not relieved that a murderer who chose to ruin him is now behind bars.

And with Emma, it soars. Through those emotionally taxing months, talking to her is his one constant.

Before either he or Emma realize it, their chats become a daily habit, even when there's little to say. Sometimes they just synchronize their Netflix to watch something together. Sometimes just each other's presence there on the phone screen is enough while doing housework.

Killian has completely switched to late shift at Shakespeare's boat rental, so that he can stay up late and talk with Emma after she's done with her shift.

For years, his mind was consumed with thoughts of revenge. His consciousness felt lighter, but his heart still felt empty after Gold was convicted. With Emma, he remembers how it feels like to care for someone that way, the way he did before Gold took that away from him.

Emma is in no way a replacement for Milah; but he knows it's time he moved on, and he can see in her someone he can do that with. Someone he can be happy with. Milah would want him to be happy, as he would want that for her.

Killian shares the story of his family slowly coming apart; his mother dying, his father leaving, and the final straw when his brother died. He tells her how he was nearly lost himself, how he has no idea where he'd be if Nemo hadn't, quite literally, saved him.

Emma shares her story of growing up an orphan, of being adopted and finally feeling she belonged, until her adopted mother was deported and she had to fend for herself, resorting to trusting the wrong person.

It's yet another time that Killian wishes he could reach into the screen and hold her. It could've been him, the one who trusted the wrong person and lost everything. And Emma is still standing on her feet.

He tells her about Eloise, she tells him about having done time – which makes her current standing even more admirable. Where would he be if his lawyer hadn't managed to get him on probation for breaking and entering on that stupid, desperate night?

He tells her about staying off of alcohol. How he'd thought he'd never stay clean for good. What he doesn't tell her is that it happened to be that he got the strength to keep up his sobriety just after he met her.

He loves her, he knows that. And he doesn't think lightly of their kiss at the concert, but he's not sure she's ready to hear she's had such a positive impact in his life.

And all because he was cheerful enough to hum a song and Emma happened to hear it.

With his emotions muddled by the trial, the stress, the anticipation for the results, and eventually the worry for Milah's son, he is surprised to realize it's late April and he can afford much, much more than a trip to Boston, thanks to the eighty thousand pounds he got from Gold as compensation for losing his hand.

He chooses to not wait too long for Emma. He wants her, and he wants to be good enough for her. Even though he'll need time for that, and he feels she's not ready for anything too quick either, he feels excited to meet her again.

When he tells her he's thinking of visiting her in May, she immediately offers her place for him to stay at.

His heart soars, he smiles widely – and Emma's connection cuts off.

When she comes back in, her smile reflects his. It's a relieving conversation that night, to tell each other that they want something more, but that they both need to take things slow. And one first visit can clear the path, so to speak.

He's still slightly nervous to get on the plane; he treated himself to a first class seat, however – not provoking karma by sneaking into someone else's unclaimed seats this time – and he's surprised to be awaken by a flight attendant when they've already landed at Logan Airport. There were apparently disturbances that delayed landing for an hour, and he slept peacefully through it all.

He turns on his phone and he feels a little relieved seeing Emma's message that she would have to be late. At least she wasn't left to wait for him.

He spots her as soon as the automatic doors leading out of arrivals open. She smiles and waves at him.

When they embrace, his chest feels lighter than it's felt in years. He pulls back and looks at her calm, happy face, then his gaze drops to her lips.

She closes her eyes when she pulls up to give him a peck.

~

(A/N: Finally, things start happening! And not just with them getting together at last!)

[momowho34]

Ever wondered whats actually in the Old Testament? Well that’s the only testament my religion has! Heres a summary of the Tanakh (old testament) from a jewish lens. I’ve read a lot of these books because I have nothing better to do so I mostly know what I’m talking about. Come on down to Judiasm, we have

The Big Five

The Book of Bereshit (Genesis): the world gets made then flooded and uh oh family drama fuck don’t get more then one wife these people need family therapy oh god oh no

The Book of Sh’mot (Exodus): pssst hey kid, want some freedom??? Wanna fucking starve and die in the desert??? Hey kid, wanna be free to suffer and die???? Or stay where you are as a slave and die a little more every day???? Also leprosy bad don’t do it be nice and have more babies lots of babies the population is at like 17 people right now-

The Book of Vayikrah (Leviticus) we’re going to the promised land I swear, part 1, also learning how to have your own agency as a human being and how to live as a good person now that you’re free. Also hygiene. Remember to bathe you fucks. Basically, the people ask god for laws, and oh boy, does he deliver.

The Book of Bamidbar (Numbers): we’re going to the promised land I swear, part 2, with more rules this time! Soooo many rules. Like too many. Like so many, mostly of the “don’t steal Sherman’s cow even if you really really want it because god keeps a tally of that shit and it’s really not good for your long term health”

The Book of Shevarim (Deuteronomy): more rules, repeat of everything god said, it’s a little doom and gloom, but hey, we finally made it to the fucking promised land! It should be a peice of cake from here on out!

The Interesting But Far Less Impactful Ones

The Book of Yoshua (Joshua): well... we finally made it. Things have gone... alright.... so far, I bet things are gonna be just fine.

The Book of Shoftim (Judges): things get legendarily worse. There are dismembered limbs everywhere. Ain’t pretty. Israel change leaders like a girl changes clothes, and these leaders are (including but not limited to): stabby-stabby left handed guy, a Woman [gasp], whatever the fuck Gideon was supposed to be, basically a pirate whose mom is a prostitute, and mr. strong man don’t cut his hair. Seriously.

The Book of Shmuel 1 and 2 (Samuel I-II): look just... shit goes down. Saul is a shit king so the random ass peasant child David becomes the king of Israel and is a hilarious disaster of a man. A lot of civil wars. A lot of David being a dramatic bitch. These are my favorite books I kind of cried in the beginning when Jonathan died. Hijinks ensue. Things go... okay for a while.

The Book of Malachim 1 and 2 (Kings I and II): Oho boy. David’s son Solomon becomes king, he builds the temple, he’s a fine king until he’s not, Judah splits off from the other tribes and becomes their own kingdom, Elijah gets really tired of babysitting all of these kings all the time, it’s a nebulous time period.

The Books of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezekiel, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habbakuk, Zephaniah, Zachariah and Malachi: okay, this is... a lot. Most of these books are various essays made by prophets trying to convince people to stop doing whatever sin was prevalent at their time. A lot of it’s boring and not really relevant anymore. Except for Habbakuk, Habbakuk tries to have a fist fight with god, god answers his questions, he leaves satisfied. I think the temple gets ganked at some point and the Israelites get massacred so hard only Judah’s tribe, Benjamin’s tribe, and bits of Levi survive and everyone else faces exile. Anyway that’s booooring let’s move on

End of the Story (Last Section Part 1)

[imma start with some of the later books because they’re relevant to the earlier books and closure is important]

The Book of Daniel: Local Man is almost killed in every way you can think of but god protects him and he pursues his dream... of becoming a Persian bureaucrat. Not kidding.

The Book of Ezra: they return to the land! They rebuild the temple!! The Jews are sort of kind of a thing again!!!

The Book of Nehemiah: except Jerusalem is a wasteland and a perfect target for bandits so Nehemiah has the genius idea of building a wall around the city so awesome and cool that no one will ever mess with them again. Nehemiah is really good because it’s about healing and connection and redemption and all that good shit. Broken people trying to put their lives back together by connecting to their past. Makes me fucking cry damn it-

Miscellaneous (Last Section Part 2)

Lamentations: Jerusalem is fucked. It’s bad. Everything is bad. Again. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Esther: the Jewish queen of Persia manages to outsmart an evil guy who wants to kill her people yayyyyy

Ecclesiastes: its just a philosophy book with a disembodied narrator who was probably Solomon.

Psalms: David is extra and he wants you to know it so he wrote 150 verses of praise to god cause he felt like it

Proverbs: Solomon wants everyone to be good people, the usual.

Song of Songs: okay listen, this is basically a love poem supposedly written by Solomon, and it is like... really horny and genuinely kinda sweet at times. Weird book, don’t know why it’s here

Ruth: a converted immigrant widow follows her mother in law into Israel and marries a pretty cool guy named Boaz. That’s it.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Defending Wayne (Damian)

A/n: I’ve been thinking about this concept actually a whole lot, especially since Damian is half Arabian and mixed with other things. Race seems to still be a big issue in my county at least. I wanted to just write this as if Damian got messed with a bit because of this.This is no way attacking ANY race, i never specified the ethnicity of the bullies or any. But please enjoy this short one shot.

Warnings: This deals with race a bit so if you are sensitive to that then you know probably not the best thing for you to read. Also some offensive choice of words are used to keep that in mind as well. Also like a few curse words

You could visibly see the anger and utter annoyance rise up in the young boy’s face as his peers whispered among him. You saw how he shifted in his seat multiple times, and cupped his hands on his face as he stared deeply into his tray that he was trying to ignore all the taunts. But as each minute that passed, it seemed as if he was closer to blowing his top.

Sitting a few feet away you couldn’t hear what the group of kids were necessarily saying to him, you just figured it was just some groupies  trying to get close to him for his dad’s money and power. That’s why most people talked to him anyways it seemed. Usually there was crowded around him trying to invite him to parties or hangouts, trying to get to know him better. Although it never worked as he just always never responded or straight up told them to piss off.

After a while people stopped trying and the crowd became smaller and smaller until he just sat alone and next to no one ever talked to him. Well maybe not anymore because it seemed like people were starting their old ways again? Who knows maybe one of their daddies needed some Wayne cash? Either way you felt so bad, by the look on his face he was fed up.

So much so you would have loved to steal him away and help him to get a place with less people, but you weren’t well acquainted with Damian. Well your were more acquainted than most, since he is your lab partner though you guys only talk about periodic formulas. BUt just dragging him to your secret hideout might come off weird??

Your frantic thoughts came to a halt as a loud bang echoed throughout the cafeteria.

Looking back over to Damian and his (unwanted) posey, you saw that he had slammed his hands down on the table. His face with a hint of deep fiery red, he audibly hissed,

‘“Leave. me. alone.”

His tone sharp and demanding, it felt almost like daggers wisping throughout the air, impaling anyone who heard him.

Okay you've seen Damian get a little upset about people crowding him, like I stated earlier but never ever like this. It made you wonder what was being said, what was really going on? 

The room seemingly went silent before another voice spoke in a similar tone to Damian.

“Why don’t you go back to Egypt you damn arab.”

With that the room froze, more so or less you froze. Damian froze as well, he looked like he was about to bite his head off but he froze. To take a second to wither breath or process what he had said? That was far beyond you. But Really? They seriously went there. Out of all the things they could have said to him. They chose that? Oh come the fuck on.

Without a second thought you jumped up from your spot and before you knew it, you were gripping and turning around the person who said that. With all the sass and attitude in your voice, you spoke. 

“Oh really? You wanna go there? You really wanna go there and himilate Damian like that? Because i got a few things under my belt about you.”

“Haha I don’t know why you’re defending him. Sit down L/N or you’ll regret it-” they scoft, letting a soft chuckle as they looked towards their friend for acceptance.

“Because he hasn’t done anything to you. He’s just trying to eat his lunch. And what do you mean ‘I will regret it’? How would your daddy like it to wake up jobless and bankrupt in the morning because you couldn’t just leave someone alone?” 

Taken aback they scoffed up another response “what the literal fuck are you talking about.”

“You know ‘what the literal fuck’ i’m talking about. Don’t tell me you don’t remember how your dad’s business just lost all it’s money and shut down and how he was banging at mines door asking for a job and a loan. All I have to do is go home, whip up a few tears, and say ‘D-dad B/N h-he called me a pathetic bitch a-and threatened me.’ and then boom, your world comes crashing all the way down.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” he hissed getting closer to your face

“Oh trust me, I really would.” you smirked deviously

Another one of their friends spoke up, it was a familiar girl. One of the popular rich kids that always are disrupting class so they can say something snarky and upright disrespectful.

“You are right, you are a pathetic bitch but I kind of liked you so i’ll give you a chance to stay out of this, or I will destroy your life.”

Nodding your head you took a big step towards her.

“Yeah but first ...let me destroy yours. Maybe you can go cry about it to Jaylen afterwards..Or maybe his dad since, well you know. You slept with him haha, oh so pretty is that the bracelet you got from him before or after you gave him a show??”

“Alright I've had enough of your bullshit,” Another voice cursed as they grabbed you by the collar

“You wanna defend your pathetic little Wayne, fine. You can take his beating as well.”

Throwing you down onto the table they raised a hand to strike you. 

You whispered a sincere prayer as you closed your eyes, squint your face and turned to the side, awaiting an impact that never came. 

You heard a few thuds, and bangs, before you slowly opened your eyes. The bully had been lying painfully on the ground, cradling his arm. The others seemed to have scattered the scene. Once your eyes were fully opened, you look could see a figure just off the side in your peripheral  vision.

Looking over, you saw Damian. He stood next to you huffing, his hooded dark green eyes darting, his face still holding that angered look. When he looked up towards you, his frame and expression stayed the same, only just a bit softer. 

“You didn’t have to do that, I obviously could have handled it,” he bleakly stated motioning over to the guy still on the ground. “however, I admire your efforts.”

Understanding that was his way of saying ‘Thank you, I appreciate it.’

You nodded, smiling softly at him

“Ahh psh, I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to tell those idotic swines off.”

He nodded as well, then looked down. Kicking his heel a bit.

“You know, you don’t need to go back to anywhere Damian. This is as much of your home as it is anyone else here. I’m sorry you had to hear that utter racist remark. You didn’t deserve that.”

He hummed in response. 

‘Well L/N, We better get going before a teacher comes.” he grabbed you arm and dragged you out of the cafeteria and down the hall

“W-woah where are we going?” you huffed in one breath

“My Manor, I’ll have Alfred, my butler give us an undisturbed proper meal. It’s the appropriate thing to do.”

[neon-junkie]

The O’Driscolls Daughter - CHPT.2

Summary: You’re Colms daughter, stubborn and temperamental like him, but you’ve got a kind heart and a soft spot for the poor stableboy that Colms gang torments.

Pairing: Kieran Duffy x f!Reader

Word Count: 3468

Rating: SFW

Tags: Colter, Grizzlies west, Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow burn, Flirting,  Arguments, Fights/

Notes: Y’all have poked (motivated) me to get this next chapter done so here u go! 

CHAPTER 1  |  Read on AO3

It's another lovely day in Grizzlies West. Despite the sun shining overhead, it's still cold as fuck. The men groan as they mope about the camp, waiting for orders off Colm, waiting for somebody to come and attack them, anything. They're practically waiting for paint to dry, beating each other up as a form of entertainment.

Tom's wasting the day by arm-wrestling some of the men. He's only winning purely from his size, targeting men much smaller than him to challenge. They're sat in what's left of a cabin, one wall is completely gone whilst the other three and the roof are barely standing.

Tom can feel his elbow going sore as it slowly slides across the crate, his opponent putting up too much of a fight for Tom's liking. His eyes flick over to the sudden movement, lighting up when he notices Kieran exiting the stables just a few meters away.

Shaking off his opponent, Tom calls out to Kieran. His opponent gives him a funny look, annoyed that he just bailed on the game, but grins as he realized what Tom was about to do.

"Boy, come here!" Tom calls out.

Kieran's head dips slightly, scurrying over, trying his best to avoid eye contact but still look in their direction.

"Yes, sir?" Kieran asks.

"Come play a game," Tom tells him as he pats his hand on the crate, though Kieran knows it's an order. An order he's happy to refuse.

"Oh? Oh, no. That ain't for me, sir," Kieran rejects.

"C'mon, kid. I'll go easy on ya," Tom chuckles. Everybody present knows that Tom will probably try to break Kieran's arm.

"Nahhh, I... I ain't one for that," Kieran waves his hands in front of his body, feet turned inwards. He has no idea how to escape this situation.

"Boy," Tom grunts as he stands up, taking a slow walk over to Kieran. "When I tell you to do something, you do it," Tom tells him, stopping a few inches from Kieran. Tom's got his chest slightly puffed out, shoulders back as he intimidates the poor stableboy.

"Sir, I'll lose, we both know that. Ain't much of a fight," Kieran explains to him, trying his best to remain a pacifist and keep this situation under control.

"Like I said, I'll go easy on ya," Tom tells him. Kieran gulps, his fingers twiddling together. He's about to speak until a familiar voice catches everybody's attention. It's your own.

"He said no, Tom," you tell Tom. You'd been nearby this whole time, sharpening your knife as you lean back against the ruins of another cabin. Either Tom had no idea that you were there, or he did and was trying to wind you up.

"You wanna challenge me instead? Create a distraction so this boy here can take the chance and run?" Tom asks you, his face turned towards you, though his body still faces Kieran.

"I ain't one for child-like games. What's next? You gonna ask me to play iSpy?" you chuckle as you holster your knife, leaving the whetstone on a nearby crate. A few of the men can be heard giggling, Toms head snapping over his shoulder as he glares at them, instantly shutting them up.

"I ain't afraid to beat a woman, you know that," Tom informs you as he finally moves away from Kieran, slowly approaching you. You take a few steps forward, meeting Tom halfway.

You're close. Noses almost touching, chest and stomach pressed against each other. Tom's got that mischievous glint in his eyes, eager to irritate you as much as possible. The men are watching, holding their breaths as they wait for something to happen... anything!

"That a threat, little Tommy?" you ask him, making him scowl.

"It is, and don't you know it," Tom responds. Kieran can be seen slowly shuffling away, trying to get some distance but still keeping an eye on the situation.

"What you gonna do, fat man?" you ask him.

Tom finally snaps, suddenly pushing you back. As he pushes your shoulder, his foot hooks itself behind your ankle, sending you falling backward, thudding against the snowy floor. You hear the snow crunch underneath you, your head beginning to ache from the impact.

Despite the landscape being mostly white, all you can see is red. Tom slips up, turning to the men as he points at you on the floor, laughing over his shoulder. They join in like the bunch of sheep they are.

A window has opened, and you're quick to jump through it. You spring to your feet, your fist clenching as you stand. Tom turns at just the right time, a perfect punch landing right across his face. You can hear the cracking of his jaw, feeling it swing against your knuckles.

Tom stumbles backward for a few seconds, finally landing on his ass as he holds his face. The men remain silent, and Kieran's in the background, watching all of this with wide eyes and an open mouth.

This woman, Colm O'Driscolls daughter, had just punched the soul out of Colms right-hand man, all for what? picking on a stableboy?

Colm always seems to appear at the wrong time. He shows up to find Tom on the floor, your fist still clenched and your brows still furrowed. Colm can clearly see that you've just hit his right-hand man, though he has no idea why.

"For fuck sake," your father says as he approaches the situation. "I wish I could spend just one single day without the two of you getting into a scrap. You're practically family! Why do you fight like this?"

Neither of you says anything.

"(Y/N), come with me. Tom, get yourself cleaned up and see me later," Colm orders the two of you.

You and Tom share a quick glance before you turn heel and walk, following Colm back to his cabin.

This feeling was far too familiar, that feeling you get when you're heading to the principles office, or when your boss has asked to speak with you privately. Your tail doesn't hide between your legs, you have no reason to be scolded, though as always, you know the blame will fall on you.

Colm takes his usual seat as you shut the door, sitting in your usual chair opposite him. He pours himself a drink from the bottle already on the table, swirling it around in his glass before taking a sip. He doesn't offer you one, he only does that when he's proud of you. Today was not one of those days.

"You were never a problem growing up. You were so obedient and calm. But now you're older and you're starting to spread your wings, all you seem to do is hit Tom with them," Colm tells you, having another sip of his drink before placing it down on the table. "Why?" he asks.

"Your bitch isn't as obedient as you think," you reply.

"Tom's got his flaws but don't we all?" Colm shrugs.

"Tom's got a lot more flaws than you think. You can shrug it off all you want, but that man isn't right in the head." You tap your finger against your temple as you speak.

"And what was it this time? What did he do that upset you?"

"He was picking on the men," you explain, your voice just as plain as his own.

"Which men?"

"Kieran."

"Who?" Colm asks, genuinely confused. Colm has always preferred quantity over quality, picking up men wherever he can find them, disposing of them faster than he picked them up.

"The stableboy?" You raise your eyebrows. Sometimes you remembered that this man right here is your father, you always wished you could forget.

"You..." Colm cute himself off, shaking his head. "You punched Tom because he picked on a fucking stableboy?!" Colm raises his voice as he speaks, ending in a shout.

"Do you want your men to be at each other?" You shout back. You really are your father's daughter.

"I want my men to get on with their jobs. Not fuss each other over fucking nonsense!"

"This ain't nonsense? Your pathetic excuse for 'men' bum about all day, picking on each other when they should be out working! Finding leads! Robbing folk! Not pissin' about."  

"You tellin' me how to run my gang?" Colm glares.

"Yes."

"You fucking run it then. Go on," Colm waves his hand at you in a shooing motion, hoping you'll chicken out.

"I will. You've seen what I can do, you know I'm good," you sit back, crossing your arms, your voice finally lowering. "I'm your child after all."

"Robbin' folk ain't nothin' like runnin' an entire gang. If you're so good then prove it to me. Maybe then I'll consider telling the men to stop picking on your stableboy," Colm copies your position without thinking, also leaning back with his arms crossed. He watches you hungrily, waiting for just a glimmer of fear to flash across your face. But it doesn't.

"Fine. I will. I've already been fishin' somethin' out. I'll get it done," you tell him, getting up from your chair and heading to the door, deciding the conversation was over.

"Oh, and (Y/N)?" Colm calls out as you open the door, already halfway through it. You stop in your tracks, sighing as you look over at him. He's smirking. "Take the stableboy with you," Colm orders.

You don't reply, exiting his cabin. You needed some time to yourself.

The sky has already turned orange, evening was here. You're hungry but decide to tell Kieran the bad news first, wanting to give him as much time to prepare as possible.

So off you go, heading to where Kieran practically lives. As you enter the stable, you feel a nice blast of warm air, wiping away the chill that is constantly on your cheeks and nose.

It's warm in here, all thanks to the horses. Kieran often overhears other gang members complain about how cold the decaying cabins and thin tents are, but thankfully, Kierans never really had any temperature issues.

The only time he gets chilly is when he's dragged outside for whatever nonsense. In the stables, he can stay warm and surround himself with good company - the horses.

Kieran's head snaps over his shoulder as you appear, shutting the doors quickly behind you. You could have sworn you overheard him mumbling to himself but you're almost certain it was probably some men outside.

He's fussing his horse, his hand resting on the animal's nose as he watches you stomp the snow off your boots.

"Mister Duffy," you greet him as you approach. He's still visibly shaken from earlier, and now there's a glint of fear in his eyes as he notices how pissed off you look.

"Miss, you really didn't have to do what you did earlier. I really appreciate it, but I don't want you gettin' in no trouble," Kieran tells you as he moves his hand from his horse's nose, resting it on his neck instead.

"I already told you, sweetheart, that those clowns need putting in their place and I'm more than happy to do it," you explain as you enter the horse's pen, your hand coming to gently stroke along Kierans horse.

This is the softest horse you've ever felt. Sure, the other horses are soft, never having that neglectful sticky feeling to their fur, but this one felt unreal. Maybe Kieran conditions his horse's fur every night? That'd explain why he spent so much time in here, cleaning his horse like his life depended on it.

"Well, I do appreciate it. Did Colm give you much trouble?" Kieran asks, watching your hand pet his horse, his eyes often flicking over to the rest of you.

"Nah. I don't think he can, he's my father after all," you shrug. "What's this gentleman's name?" you ask Kieran.

"Huh? Oh! You mean my horse?" Kierans eyes widen.

"Yeah."

"Branwen," Kieran tells you.

"Well, Branwen, you're real soft. Your rider here quite clearly loves you," You tell Branwen. He lets out a small nicker, puffs of chilled air coming from his nose, as if he was thanking you.

Kieran watches you in awe, his heart melting at the sight of you talking to his horse. He feels a little sick, the butterflies in his stomach dancing around to the sound of his heartbeat.

"Yeah, not to sound cheesy but he's my world," Kieran rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking at the stable floor then returning to you. Either Kieran is overheating, or he's blushing. Maybe both?

"I know how you feel, (H/N) is my world too. I'd be lost without 'em," you reply as you nod in the direction of your stabled mount.

"Yeah. I ain't got much to enjoy in life, but at least I got someone to enjoy my time with," Kieran tells you as his eyes overlook Branwen, giving his horse a gentle rub under his jawline.

"Kieran?" you ask, his attention being drawn to you. "I don't mean to spoil the moment, but I came here to tell you something."  

"Oh, god. What is it?" There's fear to his voice, his flustered red cheeks fading back to his pale skin colour.

"I got a stagecoach robbery that's gonna be happenin' real soon. I understand that you ain't one for fightin', but Colms ordered me to take you with him. I thought I'd let you know in advance," you inform him.

Kieran lets out a deep sigh. "Guess this is my punishment," he says.

"No, it's my punishment," you correct him. Kieran gives you a funny look and you're quick to correct him again. "I mean, because Colm knows I'm soft on ya. He views his men as just... men, you know? I view them as human beings. So he's making me take you with me just to get me all worried and stuff," you roll your eyes and shake your head. Typical behavior from your father.

"You ain't gotta be worried about me, Miss. I'm just a stableboy," Kieran shrugs as he looks down at the floor.

"You are just a stableboy, but we need people like you! If it weren't for you, our horses would constantly be a mess. You're like, the foundation to a house. You get me? Without you, we'll just topple over," you explain to him. Kieran catches on to what you're saying, nodding his head in agreement, a smile creeping across his face.

"No ones ever put it like that before, thank you, Miss," Kieran replies, letting out a little laugh as he thinks about what you've just said.

"How many times have I told you to stop callin' me that? It's (Y/N). Don't be afraid to say my name," you tease him, his cheeks flustering again.

"Well, (Y/N), thank you," Kieran replies, a little sheepishly.

"Now, I gotta go get some dinner," you say as you exit the pen after giving Branwen another pat. "You get your guns ready. I'll make sure you have the safest job."

You flash Kieran a smile before heading out, quickly shutting the stable doors behind you to stop the cold air from seeping in. Yet again, you've left Kieran in a mushy state, his heart still thudding, finally allowing himself to let out the grin that he's been holding back on this whole time. He's like a child getting worked up over their crush, giving Branwen a hug, pretending he's you.

"It's happened again," Kieran tells Branwen, his eyes shutting as he smiles to himself, head still resting against Branwen's neck. "She's done it again, Branwen. I've got them butterflies back, I can feel my heart poundin' out my chest."

Kieran moves off his horse, moving to lean back against the fence so he can speak to Branwen properly.

"She called me sweetheart, told me to call her by her actual name, said she'd make sure I'm safe. All that real good stuff!"

Branwen lets out a snort, his head flicking up slightly. Kieran can see Branwen cheering him on, getting excited on Kieran's behalf.

"She met you as well! Ain't that nice! Introduced you to her and everythin'. You two are gonna be best buds before you know it," Kieran laughs, his voice a little lowered as he doesn't want to attract the attention of anybody who may be outside.

"I'm real nervous for this job though. But I know I'll be safe with her," Kieran worries, watching Branwen give him a little nod in agreement.

"Guess I should go clean my gun, huh?" Kieran sighs, pouting a little, hating the idea of going into combat.

"I'm gonna go get some dinner. I'll be right back, then we can talk a little more," Kieran tells Branwen as he makes his way out of the pen, pulling on his gloves before exiting the stable, off to pick at whatever scraps were left.

Branwen's sat down when Kieran returns. Kieran takes a seat beside him, leaning back against his horse as he eats. The two spend the rest of the night fawning over you, too star-struck to bother thinking about the job.