#OFS

[malepresentingleg]

Ray this episode:

[itsryuworld]

i'm honestly so tired of this shit. every episode is a "fuck u topmew fans" it's always "i don´t give a damn about them, they're boring" i'm so so so tired of this. i love them so much and i'm not even enyoing the show anymore, i'm stressed out bc they keep cutting off their scenes and then gave us nothing. no relationship development or character development, no fucking chance to built up their story. it's heartbreaking, i mean… i love forcebook so much, and i love topmew too. why can't we have anything good?

i'm so tired of the lack of develompent of top, what about his trauma and back story? he seems to be very interesting and complex, but atp he's just the villain, the duchbag, the asshole. mew seemed interesiting too, not innocent but smart, right? but now he keeps acting so annoying saying he wants top back but then he's playing mental games with him again? why he needs to make top suffer that much? he loves him right? why he keeps acting so confusing? why do they need beoing to come to the picture right now? it's not fair, i'm so fucking annoyed.

don't cut topmew scenes, don't mistreated them like that. we love them so much! they getting so much hate for no reason, i can't stand it anymore. give me my topmew endgame, give them some fucking development!

[thymo-leonta]

[quodekash]

ford has a song for the only friends ost

and while I would probably prefer him to have a character similar to mlc where he's just a random singer that doesnt really affect the plot, @judebilation and I both think it would be really funny if he was one of the random gmmtv stars they brought in to have a one night stand with a character, and he has it with boston

extra points if louis also makes an appearance and hooks up with nick (and even more points if louis and ford show up in the same episode)

extra extra points if gawin shows up and has sex with ray

[heretherebedork]

I feel like I am going to get so much heartache from Only Friends. Like Nick is literally going to face his heartbreak soon (unless he gets smarter in the 'nick' of time) but also if Ray in his all-consuming loneliness falls in love with Sand, who doesn't reciprocate it back, it's gonna break my heart! All I want is for Nick to understand before he gets in too deep what a red flag Boston is and Ray needs to, just, I dunno..... perhaps love himself more and not trip on his toes for Sand! My poor, poor boys!!

This show is not about happy endings or a smooth ride. It's about real, messy, hurt, damaged boys who cope with everything wrong with them in mostly the wrong ways, honestly.

Ray is definitely my boy, my meow meow, the one who is going to hurt and be hurt and ache and be lonely and be clingy and be desperate and throw tantrums and hurt people and hurt himself and scream and cry. He is a stray cat that uses his claws and his purr interchangeably because he doesn't understand why anyone would care. He sees money as his only value and uses it freely because he has nothing else and that leaves him even smaller. Money and sex and alcohol and that's al he's got, all he can rely on, all he thinks he's worth. So he acts out and he laughs and he gets drunk and he leaves his friends and he runs hoping someone, anyone will chase him but no one ever does. He already hurts me and the show is only going to keep hurting me with him.

Because his relationship with Sand is going to be painful. No matter how falls for who, they can't possibly find equal ground currently. Because Ray is in love with Mew (and he isn't going to give that up easily) but also because whatever Sand sees in Ray he knows what he sees in him and what he sees is a disaster. He sees a flaming trash can of a young man who might have positive spots and who might need him but is going to bring him nothing but pain and he is trying to play with that fire carefully but playing with fire can get you burnt no matter how careful you are. Especially if you're eating fire (insert blowjob joke here).

Nick and Boston are... yeah, that's gonna be a ride. Because Boston is a walking pile of red flags with a little red flag dick pointing out of it and Nick seems to have no idea what he's looking at or getting himself into. Of everyone, Nick is the one I'm most worried heartbreak wise and Boston is the one I'm most worried in terms of 'fucking everyone over entirely because he felt like it'.

While I hope Nick will figure out what's going on with Boston before he shatters... I doubt he will. I think Nick is gonna fall hard and fall deep and Sand is gonna have to try to put him back together and that's gonna create more problems because Sand is definitely going to care more about Nick than anyone else no matter where his relationship with Ray is at that point and that's just... there are so many moving parts in this show and it's gonna be wild to see them crash into each other.

My hardest part with this show is knowing that we are unlikely to get any happy endings for anyone and making sure to temper myself on expectations in that. But also not getting my hopes too high for certain aspects I want (manipulative AF Mew, Top lying to Mew and trying to use him, Ray fighting falling for Sand because loving Mew is familiar and safe, Sand struggling with his feelings towards Ray because he knows what he's getting into with him, Nick managing to destroy Boston despite his own broken heart, Boston just... you know what, I think Boston will actually fulfill all my wishes for him.)

[magicalgirlchar]

We have yet to see Ray's dad and I think this is on purpose as they keep having Sand say stuff like "am I your dad?". I think that maybe his wife's death left him depressed and he stopped being a parent towards Ray.

From the flashback, we see that Ray is probably around 11 when he witnessed his mum die from alcohol poisoning. If his father had stopped being emotionally present that explains his desire to be wanted in any capacity aka throwing money at Sand to just drink with him. he just wants someone to look at him and only him.

[coldhairdoscissorspaper-blog]

actually, he IS jesus, he’s the holy trinity, in fact. so if you want to see the golden gates you better start kneeling.

[minniemariex]

only friends ep 2

stream of thoughts

*contains spoilers*

too being capable in his job is a plus in my books

ray. mew said it. he is an addict. and he will have to deal with it at some point. i just wonder what happens for him to get to this point. like even his friends must know by now that the argument is not worth the consequences. like the probably tried their best to keep him from falling so far but it probably didn’t end very well.

loving how assertive mew is.

omg sand you are being so shifty. ray is gonna think you are a dealer. which he probably is but i’d not think it’s the drugs. or maybe.

'a drunkard like you isn’t a threat to me’ wow sand. hit him where it hurts.

omg is sand actually a night worker?? or is it just the distribution??

okay not drugs. plum wine.

omg ray. yo cannot buy friends. or boyfriends. or drinking buddies??

you can see how much chemistry there is between them. and they knwo perfectly how to taunt each other.

okay as a somewhat ace person i do not understand how that works. but good for them. i mean nick is gonna get hurt but still.

'i only do that with my favorite' nick is gonna be huuurt.

i think bostons parents are rich but don’t push their kid to take over. which is nice of them and a nice representation for that type of parents.

of course ray lives in a f mansion. that look of just wonder and like intérêt is a very good look on sand.

and he has to be a dick. cause of course he does.

uuu he like records. that’s gonna be a bonding point. ufff. mums stuff. a bomb. but still music is gonna be a bonding point. and trauma. probably so much trauma.

did she commit suicide? oh no. she drunk herself to death. omg ray. taht explins why he drinks at least. he could’ve gone two ways. no drinking at all or drinking to forget. and he clearly chose the latter. oh honey. that’s a lot to deal with. doesn’t excuse the behavior but a coping mechanism is a coping mechanism.

the way sand is looking at ray when he goes to put music on? god. and the way he sits?? goooood.

TAHT LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE PUT THE MUSIC ON !!! (khao will kill me at some point)

‘just stay with me. i don’t want to be alone.' 'fine i like easy jobs taht pay big’ oh sand you will eat your words the moment you start to realize how much ray drinks and how much you are for him.

i love how sand looks at ray when ray is relaxed and listening to music.

god they really wnet all the way with the budget for this show. that water boarding looks super fun.

top is very clearly trying to get along with mews friends.

the look on rays face when mew said top gets along with his friends. omg that boy is saaaltyyy

ton being meeesy meeesssssy

looool did he get ton to go over the f wall?? to the second stall? how the f did they do that??? i need like a recreation of this move since i refuse to believe it happens with no injuries or loins noises

ton is not happy. not happy at all.

omg is the eating the cookie supposed to be sexy??

i really really like how assertive and sure of himself mew is. it’s refreshing.

ton wtf omg wa snot expecting that

nick you poor poor man with horrible taste in men.

also god ton saying he hates drama is so funny to me (and hypocritical)

ray interrupting sand getting laid is hilarious. also ray fully knowing he’s irresistible when he pleads is gold. he looks soo good. and those hands on the shoulders move?? perfection

loving all of the confidence. sand may be poor but he’s sure of himself and knows his worth. and that he looks good and how to use it to his advantage.

bonding time. showing vulnerability is a great way to someone’s heart. especially when that someone is somewhat interested in you. i do wonder is he’s telling the truth.

that sweater cardigan whatever it is will kill me

the pointed questions. out with it ray. just hit on him

i wonder how many times they had to shoot that scene with the cigarettes.

omg. the tension is magnificent.

the hooker question and sands answer of 'if i’m interested i’d do it for free’ and rays making sure and asking for validation ‘ what about me? interesting enough?' superb

the way sand scooted and leaned back? and reclined? put his hand on the sofa and crossed his legs? took a long puff of smoke?? HOT HOT HOT 🥵

the way ray responds? stu’s kinda curled up but still showing off his good side? and taht drag and kiss?? HOT HOT HOT 🥵

THE WAY SAND LOOKS AT HIM AND JUST TAKES HIM IN AND LJSUT GOD THATS SO HOT

thé interviews show how differently they ar a preaching their relationship. and i wonder how it will all go

that was a very good way to end the ep

[flowerslut]

so...one fell swoop?

I have worked on absolutely none of one fell swoop in almost 2 years now because of roots/cotn. here's a big snippet of the draft as an apology (I have no idea when I'll work on it more tbh—cotn's rewrite is up next on the to-do list!)

enjoy 1.3k more words of chapter 3:

When he came to again, the sun was shining brightly into the room. He rolled over and glared at the fact the blinds were fully open. Even glancing toward the window made a dull ache burn behind his eyes. Then, the last several hours came back to him.

Shit, he’d gotten his ass kicked while withdrawing.

“Jasper?”

Oh fuck. Alice.

Sitting himself up he yawned. “Hey,” he rasped, running his hand through his hair. His fingers caught on some crusty patches. Pulling his hand back he smelled it. Yep, definitely vomit.

He looked over at her, nervous as to what he’d see. But she was sitting on her bed, a notebook in her lap, nibbling on the end of a pencil as she stared at him, an apprehensive look on her face. “Are you alright?” She asked cautiously, closing the book in her lap and shoving the pencil in the spiral loops of the notebook. 

“Yeah, ‘m fine.” He hated how raspy and sore his voice sounded. “Sorry if I uh,” he gestured to the bathroom, “disturbed you with all that.” He almost winced at his own wording. ‘Disturbed?’ Great one. “I guess I caught some bug.”

It wasn’t until she started moving toward him that he realized she had a new dress on. This one was just as long as the other one, but white in color, and with shorter sleeves. “You freaked me out a bit.” Pressing bare feet against the floor she finally stopped where she was, still staring at him curiously. Her eyes were as dark as her hair was but now that it wasn’t pressed to her head because of the rain she looked… different.

He grimaced at her words, hating how she really did sound freaked out with that admission. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I uh,” then she stood fully and moved across the room toward the fridge. “I ordered food from a place down the road.” As she spoke, Jasper’s eyes wandered to the open phone book on the nightstand separating their beds. “I didn’t know what to order so there’s uh, fries, and chicken, and some type of noodle thing. I don’t really know. I just figured you’d be hungry when you woke up.”

He absolutely wasn’t hungry, but he knew that he would need to eat eventually. He couldn’t even remember when he’d eaten last. Maybe yesterday, or the day before. He figured that in an hour or so he’d try to force some food down. The fries he’d probably be able to stomach without too much of a risk of throwing them back up. His nausea wasn’t entirely gone but it was drastically lessened.

He nodded, “Thanks.” He knew that she probably deserved more of a ‘thank you’ than that, but that’s all he had the energy to give.

He peered behind her then, toward the bathroom, and noticed what looked like a few dresses just lying on the floor. If she was doing laundry in the sink then she was definitely homeless. Not that he’d required any further confirmation, but this about solidified that.

He also could have just asked but for some reason it felt rude.

“Oh, I was just washing some things,” she said, following his gaze, “They’ll be dry soon, I promise.”

Jasper almost asked her why she didn’t just go to the laundromat across the street if she needed to do laundry that badly. Recalling her words from the day before removed that question from his mind.

“I don’t like being around people.”

It suddenly seemed a little more complicated than that.

He then glanced from the bathroom, then to Alice, and then out the window. There was something about what he was seeing that didn’t look right. Now that the blinds were pulled back he could see his car from where he were sitting on the bed. It wasn’t until he realized that the world outside looked oddly dry that he started looking around. The clock on the nightstand blinked a red ‘7:28’ at him, confirming his suspicion that it was early in the morning.

But something still felt off.

“What day is—” but then he remembered that he had hardly been able to recall what day it was when they’d gotten into this damn motel room. “I mean, how long have we been here?”

Alice was digging around in her bag. “I had to go back down to the office on Tuesday morning to pay for more nights.”

“Nights?” He did not like the way that word sounded so plural.

She glanced up at him. “Yeah? It’s Friday morning.”

Jasper just stared at her for a long moment, stunned. When he finally tore his eyes away from her he swung his legs over the edge of the bed before pulling his head in his hands.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” he snapped, and then when he ran his hand through his hair again and it caught on the dried vomit patch once more, he swore angrily. Standing up he walked toward the bathroom, “I’m going to shower.”

Despite his sudden anger, he was careful not to step on the clothes Alice had spread out on the ground.

It wasn’t her fault he’d fucked up this badly. It was his own fault.

Stupid, ridiculous, fuckhead.

The blanket he’d left on the floor the last time he was coherent was neatly folded and off to the side. It was probably full of vomit, too. He’d have to make sure to leave—or, have Alice leave—a decent tip for the poor motel employee that had to get that washed.

He stripped off his clothes quickly and jumped straight in the shower as he turned the water on. The cold shocked him right into the state of mind he needed to be in. He needed to be awake, alert, and figure out what the hell he needed to do next.

Tuesday. He was supposed to have been dead on fucking Tuesday. And then his withdrawal symptoms had caught up to him, which he hadn’t thought about because he hadn’t planned on being alive for long enough to have to endure that.

It was a little bit of Alice’s fault, he thought as he tried to divert some of the rage he felt outward. If she hadn’t stopped him or got him caught up in this damn ‘drive me to town’ mess, he’d be dead and everyone would be better off now.

Well. Maybe not everyone.

Before he could even think to close the shower curtain—after all, he was getting the floor adequately drenched with water—he looked out toward the sink. Sitting on the counter was a little yellow bag. And poking out of it Jasper could see mouthwash and generic-brand ibuprofen.

Things that he definitely hadn’t bought when they’d gone to the visitor’s center on Tuesday.

But that was the same style bag, and those were definitely items that only Alice could have purchased.

Yanking the shower curtain closed, Jasper leaned his head against the tile as the water slowly warmed. Pushing the conflicting feelings swimming in his chest to the side, he focused instead on his next steps.

Get dressed, eat something, drive Alice to Seattle, drive back to the coast, and then do what he came here to do.

But even as he planned his day out, a sense of apathy fell over him. Did he really have the energy to drive all the way back to this godforsaken town? The urge to just give up and drive home was creeping up on him, and he hated the sudden and heavy sense of failure that was encompassing him more than anything.

Reaching forward he cranked the water back to cold and reached for the shampoo sitting on the ledge of the shower.

He’d think about that later. Now, he had to clean puke out of his damn hair.

[glitterandhelium]

i for real need someone to swoop in and steal nick right from underneath boston's nose 😭

[malepresentingleg]

With all the (great) posts about Sand's "I can differentiate between love and sex" but him clearly falling more and more in love-

I think it's also interesting to point out they haven't actually had sex again since that first time.

If we compare them to Nick and Boston for a second, Nick falls in love (or becomes obsessed) with Boston because of the constant closeness and intimacy from having sex and the blurry lines it causes (Boston teasing him, kissing him on the cheek and shoulder etc).

With Sand and Ray most of their interaction has been, well, spending quality time together- cooking + eating, getting a drink, driving, having a heart to heart, listening to music etc. They have so many opportunities to fall in love even without the sex..

[techmarkethunter]

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[authne]

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[thymo-leonta]

+ bonus: the duality of sand

[akanemnon]

I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

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[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Movie William judges Vanessa's friends..