#OF COURSE IVE BEEN READING MORE COMICS you saw me reading on here even. but yknow that was my main source for a while | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cadykeus-clay · 4 years ago

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remember a few days ago when i said i was writing a collection of mismatched scenes of all the times that I think jester and caleb should have just kissed on the mouth? hehe :)

“Caleb, can you hear through it?” she’s yelling, head tilting and eyes squinting as she looks at the one-way glass he’s just apparated in the middle of the hall. She leans in, scrunching her nose and sticking out her tongue a little as she detectives. “Can we come into it?”

He grins, he can’t help himself. “Only you.”

“Do we just hit the side of it or -”

Her fingertips press through the barrier, disrupting the near-transparent bubble with a ripple and he reaches out his hand for hers, guides her in. Her mouth makes the cutest little oh! shape as she passes through and she can see what he’s seeing.

“Caleb. This is so COOL!”

The grin hasn’t dropped from her face, and it spreads infectiously across his.

“I’ve been working on this for weeks,” he says, smacking his legs with triumphant fists.

Her grin gets even wider, sharing in that joy. A few more silent moments pass, as she takes it in with awe.

“So, can anyone come in, or like, only people you like, or … ?”

He thinks for a moment, grins slyly. He sticks a finger out, just barely missing her nose. “You can come in.”

She leans towards him, returning the affection he seems to be offering. She gets close to his face, on purpose. She likes making him blush. “That means you like me.”

Blush he does. It’d be near impossible not to - they’re alone and unseen together, and she’s leaning towards him, her grin pushing up the freckles on her cheeks he’d love to try and count. And he’s tired, exhausted, barely functional. He’s got no strength left to carry all the layers he usually hides himself behind, but it’s alright, it’s only Jester looking anyways.

She hasn’t pulled her face back yet, like she’s waiting for him to do something. Tease.

Even after everything they’ve both seen these past few days, fear seems gone for just a second. They’re safe inside their shell, and no one’s watching. It would be so easy to just lean down, steal a moment to remind her that he cares, remind her that he’ll always care, remind her that he did this to keep her safe, take her mind off why.

It would be so easy ...

******

II.

“Can we like. Stick things through the bubble?”

“Uh. Ja, you can put your weapons through it, but no magic can come in or out. But you can leave and come back any time you want.”

“Okay. Just checking.”

She tries to hide the wince in her face as she nods a bit too heartily, jostling the half-healed slash across her chest left from panther-like claws. He notices. She notices him noticing, notices the way his brow furrows even deeper.

“But, please. No walkabouts when we are sleeping, okay?”

He looks up at her through those drawn-together brows when he says it, pleading more than he really needs to. She learned that lesson. But it’s still sweet to see how much he cares.

He’s been caring a lot lately, come to think of it. Chatting with her on the boat. Checking in. Making sexy jokes when they’re supposed to be stealthing. Doing a very bad job of hiding his attempts to make sure she laughed at it.

“I’ll stay right here. I promise.” She settles back onto her hands, hoping it’ll bring a little relief to the pain starting to spark across her ribs.

“Well. That’s good enough for me.”

And he pauses for a second, just a second, like he’s giving her an invitation to double down on that promise, make sure he knows she knows someone cares, and who someone is, and that someone else cares back.

It would be so easy …

******

III.

When she was little and read a lot of fairy tales, she’d often think about kissing a beautiful boy in a beautiful room full of paintings and tapestries and a billion things on shelves that glittered just to be pretty, and the light would somehow be reflecting off all of them at once, and his shirt would be off for reasons, and it would be glorious.

The tunnel they're in can’t really constitute as a room, but the way the crystals shimmer even in the dim glow of the Dancing Lights, rippling all around them is arguably better than shiny decorations. Caleb certainly can constitute as a beautiful boy. After all, she’s just admitted he is neither stinky nor dirty anymore. And arm wraps aren’t quite the same as a shirt, but he has taken part of his clothes off in front of her.

Creepy snails and the third day without daylight weren’t her romantic vision, sure. But. She feels safe here, with him, and she hopes he feels safe with her. She had meant what she had said, a few days back, when he spilled his fears and his history on the floor of their wagon. She didn’t think he was a bad person. And the way he looked at her when she said it, man, he wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe it so bad.

She ought to let him know. She ought to tell him, again, that she believes in goodness in him. She believes in love in his heart. She ought to tell him right now, in this glittering cave with his heart and arms bare before her. She ought to tell him in a way where he can’t argue back ‘cause his face will be preoccupied.

It would be so easy …

*******

IV.

“YOU GUYS!”

She practically burst the door to their new ally’s house down with excitement when she got back, holding out the little striped carrying box in front of her like it’s the coolest loot they’ve ever found. She bounces on her toes, making it hard for anyone to get a real look at the confections inside.

“What do you have?” he asks, knowing she wants to tell him.

“Cupcakes!” she beams back.

“A lot of them, or?”

She flips the lid up and pushes her nose nearly into the icing topping as she examines the haul. “Well I have thirteen here, so … one, two, three -”

He almost says the numbers along with her. Counting things and making Jester smile are both muscle memory at this point.

“ - six, so good! That’s one for each of you and the rest for me!”

He looks in the box properly now, the counting having slowed her jitteriness enough for him to try and piece out flavors. There’s some dark ones that could be chocolate, but he doubts it, and some that are paler, dotted with blue. He reaches for a blueberry one, and takes a cautious bite.

“Caleb,” she says, pouting, and he’s worried he wasn’t supposed to try one, “you are Missing. Out.”

She sticks her face in towards him, to make sure he can get a good look at this reprimand. She’s got a little bit of icing stuck in the corner of her mouth.

“You can get blueberry cupcakes anywhere.”

He keeps his eyes trained on her, longer than he really ought to, but he’s trying to figure it out.

Is that a challenge, Lavorre? Is that a promise?

It would be so easy...

*******

She has to get up on her tip toes to reach the shelf where they keep the scribing paper, pulling the stack towards her so she can count out sheets.

“About 300 gold?”

“Mmm.”

She counts out the sheets, thumbing them forward into a little pile that she pulls apart, before stretching up to push the rest back onto the shelf. She turns on her heel and marches for the front counter. He lingers a moment to straighten the pile on the shelf, and trails after her.

His gaze is buried in the inside of his coat as he searches for his coin purse. His hands are still buzzing, just a little, from where she held them earlier and promised him she’d be at his side. He can’t stop thinking about it. It’s distracting him from getting his coins.

The distinctive clink of metal on countertop jerks his gaze up just as he reaches his hand in for the first coin. She’s already dropped the gold in a neat little pile, pleasantly smiling at the clerk as she snaps the clasp on her purse shut.

“That’s very generous of you,” he says, hand still frozen holding his own money.

She swings around, flashing a thumbs up and a grin. She holds it a little too long for comical effect. Of course, he snickers.

She turns to the paper on the countertop, making to gather it in her arms, but he starts, and she turns back to face him. He’s frozen there, hand just barely outstretched for her, mouth agape like he was going to say something.

What is there to say? What can he possibly say to her, to repay everything she’s ever said to him? What can he say that’s worth the sound of her laugh, and the way her tongue sticks out a little when she smiles? What’s worth the way she brightens up a room even when she’s grumpy, the bubble to his gloom?

What measures up to a tap on his shoulder as he turns to leave his study, and hands in his as she swears, with the most somber honesty he’s ever seen, that she watched him face what he could have been, tied up like a feral beast in a prison cell, and she stares in his eyes and tells him it’s ok, she saw it and loved him even through it, and then bought him presents afterwards just because?

He’ll never deserve her, he swears.

She’s still looking at him, expectantly, and his mouth is still stuck open, and his hand is still halfway between the two of them. Maybe it’s just him, but the memory of her holding it seems to be burning even hotter.

He tries to say something again, and the words aren’t coming out. She’s still waiting on him, expression starting to tip towards worry as he tries and fails to express just how overflowed his heart is right now. He can’t say it but gods, she ought to know how much she’s worth to him. Maybe he can just show her. He’ll tell her later.

It would be so easy …

******

VI.

The hallway is orange. Pale, warm, sort-of-translucent orange, swirling about her in patterns of lollipops and unicorn hamsters. Her own spells wrapped in the tender grip of his magic, handed to her with something like reverence.

I believe, he had said, I have no choice.

He’d done little things like this before, casting spells to make her and everyone else happier, letting her play with his cat because it made her smile. But he said he’d been working on this for weeks. Pouring time and sweat and his precious paper into making this thing, just for her. Everyone liked to tease her about the Traveler and how it was totally a cult, and usually she let it roll off her back, even if it stung a little on impact. And Caleb was here, telling her he took her belief in the Traveler at face value, simply because it was hers.

I don’t know anything about faith, he had said, I am learning from you.

He was a suspicious man. She knew that. He held grudges, and he mistrusted, and he had every right to. And yet all these months, he’s been putting everything he had in her hands, sure that she would not drop it. She would hold it as gently as she could.

I am the transmutation wizard, he had said, but you are the one who changes people.

How was he supposed to know that was what she was afraid of, leaving no mark on the world at all? How was he supposed to know she made art everywhere she got the chance to in hopes that she would stop being erased, start existing outside of one little room and a handful of people?

He wouldn’t have any reason to, except for he knew her so well, better than nearly anyone. He could tell when doubt was crawling up out of her gut, spilling its black tendrils from her mouth and across her eyes. He could see when the veneer got scratched, and he knew how to brush it just so, so it looked okay again. He knew how to comfort her.

“It’s beautiful.”

She knows it’s barely anything, but she doesn’t know what else to say. It caught her by surprise, and she’s reeling a little in the aftermath of seeing just how far he’s willing to go for her.

He says something else, she barely processes, but it’s enough to get her babbling about some kind of performance. She trips over her words a little, she’s just so excited. He can tell, he smiles, and that just makes her heart jump even more.

“But you have done so much for m- for all of us,” he says, and he’s not sneaky.

For me. She knows he was going to say it. For me.

Tears are almost brimming in her eyes, happy ones, and he put them there. Done so much for her, she thinks, has he counted how much he’s done for me? She’s clasping her hands at her mouth, trying to keep all her feelings from coming out at once.

He doesn’t know the half of it, everything he’s done for her. To make her feel safe, to make her feel smart, to make her feel seen, to make her feel believed in. He doesn’t know it at all, and yet the hallway is orange as a testament to how much he’s done, and she can’t let the sentiment go unreturned.

It would be so easy …

*******

VII.

“Didn’t go as well as you were hoping?”

His voice seems to startle her, as if she’d forgotten in her sadness that there were other people around her. He knew the feeling.

“In some ways it went better?” she says, doubting it even as it leaves her mouth. “But. No.”

His face softens. It’s the only thing he can do, really.

Her breath is coming out shaky.

“I can’t speak for him,” he starts, offering what little encouragement he can, “but you do have us.”

“I know,” she answers, grateful even through the sadness.

“So, whatever you land on. Jester.” He stops for a second, letting her name linger in his mouth. “We will make it happen.”

She nods, curt, tears still pricking in her eyes. “I have to figure out what I want to land on.”

He laughs, hollow and breathy, what else is there to do. He starts to reach his hand out for her, and catches it, his own hesitance getting the better of him.

He knows what he wants her to land on, he’s known for … longer than he really cares to admit. He knows he’d follow her to hell and back, that’s why he’s here on this island with her.

He knows how hard it is to love without a compass to direct it. He knows that moonlight makes selfishness a much more appealing color.

It’s dark, and he’s hopelessly in, and she’s searching for a place to not be so alone. He could show her a place to land.

It would be so easy …

******

VIII.

He’s holding it out to her, a black ball clutched between his fingertips, just a little iridescent in the blazing sun overhead. He’s grinning, and his eyes are bright. He looks so happy, for just this moment, with a pearl in his hand.

Forget the water pouring down their faces as they come up from the murk, plastering their hair to their foreheads at odd angles. Forget the wrench in both their guts about the monster brewing beneath their feet and in their minds. Forget the clothes sticking to their skin in all the wrong spots. Forget the sounds of their friends arguing twenty feet back.

She jumped in the water with him for a reason, because he wanted pearls, and she wanted him to be happy, and he’s holding one out to her right now because he is, and that’s all she could really ask for.

Maybe it’ll be extra wet and slippery. Maybe it’ll taste like salt and seaweed and that weird fish stink that all bodies of water seem to have. Maybe her hands are covered in sand and they’ll get some in their mouths and it’ll be disgusting.

Who cares? She jumped in the water with him and he’s happy.

It would be so easy …

******

IX.

The funny thing is, when she was little, she actually planned her wedding in this room. The canopy bed would double as the altar, gauze draping about them and the window lighting them from the back as they knelt with their hands together, wrapping them up with silk ribbon as someone spoke some formal rites. Mama would sit in the guest of honor chair at Jester’s desk, a tear running down her cheek as she watched her baby girl marry the love of her life.

Now Caleb’s in here with her and she’s realizing there’s no good angle to get the window backlight and be in full view of her Mama.

He’s lying down on the bed, because she told him to. She’s flopped down next to him, squirmed up into his side with the excuse of “small bed” but the intent of “I like the way I rest against your side”.

He’d commented on her array of books - she knew he would. She may or may not have pulled the smarter looking titles up to the front a few visits ago, just in case.

He’d looked at her artwork too, spanning the walls in all its multicolored glory. He’d bent down to get a good look at her earliest, shittiest paintings. But not in the way where he wanted to see how bad they were, to laugh at. In the same way he looked at new artifacts they’d picked up along the road, as he traced his runes for Identify. Like he was trying to glean a missed history out of them, to get to know just a little bit more about what was in front of him now.

So she’s curled into his chest, careful with her horns, wrapping her hand over his to point out every last detail. Her other hand falls to his stomach, her fingers brush his, and neither of them pull away.

She always figured they’d fall like this, her and her husband, backward onto the bed after the ribbon was knotted to finalize their union. They’d be too happy to stand and they’d just collapse at each other’s side, and they’d plan their honeymoon like this. Pointing out places they wanted to go in her little snapshot of the cityscape, nestled into each other’s chests.

Caleb’s enraptured, she can hear excitement in his breath, and she’s more than a little pleased. She didn’t know people cared this much about her art, about her childhood, about who she was before she became who she is. She hopes she has all the time in the world to tell him more.

She’s still on his chest, their hands are still touching, even though she’s finished pointing out the painted landmarks. She’s kissed a lot of imaginary boys in this room.

It would be so easy …

******

Spinning with her arms out, feet tracing circles in the snow, they haven’t even made it to the dance hall yet and she’s already waltzing like he taught her all those months ago in a scroungy gnomish bar. The cold is bringing a flush to her cheeks and god damn it, it’s cute. She’s humming.

They could get inside where it’s warm, where they don’t need to get close for heat but they do anyway. Wrap an arm around her waist and take her hand in his. Keep her close enough to hear her giggle with each twirl he leads her on. Get drunk off her smile alone.

Find a far corner where the music is softer and they have space to just sway together. Write new memories over old, equally as sweet, slightly less bitter. Look at that smile that won’t have faded since before they stepped through the door. Run his fingers across her jaw, save this moment in tactile too. Lean down in slow motion, as she stretches up.

It would be so easy …

******

XI.

“What are you drawing?” he asks, not even looking up from his spells. He’s grown comfortable with having her in his space.

“A cup of hot cocoa.”

“Are there dicks in it?”

“No, just two very lovely marshmallows.”

His head lifts up at that, gazing at her with the gleam he’s been giving his runes. He’s trying to figure her out.

“Shnuggling up next to each other,” she continues. “With consent.”

“We’re not talking about grass are we?”

“No. I’m talking about marshmallows.”

“Marshmallows?” The gleam in his eye grows a little brighter. He leans a little closer. “I thought there was a hidden meaning for a second.”

There’s a reason why she sat down here, why she wanted him next to her as she thought about love and commitment, and telling people things after all these months. There’s a reason why he didn’t start as she settled at his side. There’s a reason why he’s looking at her with a cocked grin on his face, sure of himself, in a way that he so rarely is.

Maybe she wanted him to figure her out. Maybe she’s been trying to get him to figure her out for a while. He’s starting to turn back to his spells, so maybe she needs to get even a little more obvious.

It would be so easy...

******

XII.

She knocked on the door with her heart already in her throat, but the second she stepped through the door and saw him looking over at her, tired but welcoming, it started to settle back where it belonged.

“Caleb. Will you cast tongues on me? YouknowImeanthespell,” she said, rushing words out because her heart was starting to leap back up again. “I just want to read the book.”

He nervously tucks some hair behind his ear. “I could read it to you, if you want?”

She knew he’d offered before, but she’s still surprisingly happy that he’s done it again. “Okay.”

He stands, wiping stained ink from his fingers on his pants as he leaves his desk, gesturing her over towards his fireplace. She swears as she walks over the flames get a little taller. She’s always liked it warmer than Caleb does.

She flops down onto the couch, wiggling a little bit to get comfortable. She pats the seat next to her and he obliges. She holds the book out and he takes it from her, so very gently, and she can’t tell if it’s just the way he treats books, or the way he treats her, or both.

He clears his throat as he prepares to open the cover, glancing over to make sure she’s ready. She scooches a bit closer, resting her cheek against his shoulder, you know, to see the pictures better, and hums to let him know he can start.

He talks to her in a quiet kind of voice. It’s soft, and it makes his chest rumble, and it feels like home. She could close her eyes and fall asleep here, and she can bet he wouldn’t even get up and risk disturbing her. She nearly does, but he’s stopping every few sentences to show her the pictures, without her even asking, he just knows she wants to see them. He’s pointing out the hidden cat on every page. She loves that he still remembers where they all are.

“That was a happy story, Caleb!” she says, mostly to his shoulder, because she doesn’t want to move from where she’s nestled herself.

“Mhm,” he agrees. “That’s why my mother read it to me.”

“I really thought, like, the cat prince was going to trap him in there forever, and then he wouldn’t be able to go and see his mother.” She cranes her head up now, propping her chin on his arm, stabilizing herself with arms she was barely aware she’d wrapped around his waist.

“Well,” he says, turning his head towards her and finding their noses nearly touching, “a lot of Zemnian stories do end that way.”

She laughs, he smiles, and neither of them want to move.

“The Cat Prince kind of reminds me of the Traveler,” she muses. She buries her face back in his shoulder as she talks, squeezing her arms a little tighter around him.

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

It’s a question only in technicality. The way his voice sounds as he says it, she can tell. He’s read so many stories, he could have picked any to leave in her room, but he chose this one about a boy and a bedroom and a magic cat and a brief escape, with a happy ending. He knew she’d ask. He wanted her to.

She’s glad she did. She’s glad he knows her so well. She’s glad for the way he turned up the fire to make her comfortable. She’s glad for the smile that’s still on his lips, lasting longer than his smiles usually do. She’s glad she’s here with him, after everything they’ve seen and heard and done. She’s just glad.

Gods, she’s so in love with him.

It would be so easy.

fin.

#widojest #jester x caleb #critical role fic #critical role #alex writes #i may or may not edit and put this on ao3 later but for now its just here #also fair warning may have typos in it i didn't get a chance to fully edit bc i gotta go to class in 5 minutes

244 notes · View notes

wickedpact · 3 years ago

Note

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

#nicoloalkaysani #it took me So Long to type this up #asdfghjk

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years ago

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Ocean Eyes - Part 12

A/N - Finally an update!! i promise to not leave it as long for the next part.

Please like/comment/reblog, it gives me incentive to write quicker if i know people are actually enjoying my madness 💕

"You okay?" Chris asked suddenly making me jump, i thought he was asleep! He was currently wrapped around me acting as the big spoon.

"Jesus christ! You scared the crap outta me!" I chuckled quietly feeling stupid that he made me jump so bad.

"Sorry dahlin" he chuckled close to my ear "but are you okay?".

"Yeah just can't sleep, I've got so much going through my head i can't switch off"

"Its not because you're in here with me is it?"

"No of course not, this is actually just what i needed. I've missed laying in your arms...." I had caved and agreed to stay in Chris's room tonight, no funny business just sleeping. I felt Chris smile before pressing a kiss to my neck.

"I've missed this too. So what exactly is it keeping you awake beautiful? Talk to me..."

"Honestly? The whole thing with Brian.... how did he find me here??".

"I have no idea, but its very creepy!.... then again we shouldn't really be surprised, he had a habit of always knowing where you were. I got bad vibes off that guy the second i saw him".

We had called the police to report Brian but they couldn't do much about it as he technically hadn't done anything wrong, they said to call them again if we saw him around anymore.

"I don't understand why he's doing this! Its not like i led him on or anything, I've never shown that man any interest. I barely even talk to the guy!"

"He's clearly unstable"

"It scares me Chris...."

"Hey, i won't let him hurt you.... i already warned him to stay away...." Chris said through gritted teeth.

"What?...."

"It doesn't matter...."

I turned in his arms so i was now facing him "yes it does, what do you mean you warned him to stay away?"

"The day Scott and I came to get you and Mason to bring you here, you remember how he kept going on about where you were going and when you were coming back....then he asked you to dinner?"

"Oh yeah, you kinda snapped"

"Yeah.....I told him nicely to stay away from my family, that you were unavailable and uninterested.... that he should move on. I said if i found out he was harassing you still id make his life hell" he looked a little sheepish as he confessed to what had been said between the two of them.

"Well I'm guessing he didn't like to be told to stay away huh?"

"Apparently not. But lets not worry about him right now, you need to sleep"

"Ive been trying...."

"Come here" Chris said and rolled onto his back pulling me close until i was laying with my head on his chest, his hand stroking up and down my back. Back strokes were my weakness and he knew it! "You'll be asleep in no time" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head. And he was right, with the steady thumping of his heart and his fingers stroking my back i was a goner.

I woke up alone, the bed already cold meaning Chris had been gone for a while. I reached for my phone on the bedside cabinet, it was nearly 10am!! I quickly got up and headed to the bathroom to pee and check how bad i looked. Once i was done i headed downstairs to find Chris, Mason and Scott.

"Hey" Chris smiled at me as i entered the kitchen, he was sat at the dining room table in front of his laptop.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too peaceful, besides you didn't get to sleep til late"

I nodded walking over to kiss him "thank you" i smiled running my hand over his bearded jaw "you're the best".

Chris pulled me down into his lap and deepened the kiss until i had to pull back enough to catch my breath and we both laughed.

"Where's Mason?"

"Walking Dodger with Scott, i gave him breakfast and helped him get dressed before they left"

"He wasn't any trouble was he?"

"Not at all. He's like the best behaved kid I've ever met"

"He has his moments don't be fooled" i chuckled thinking back to some tantrums id witnessed over the years.

"I don't believe you, that kid is an angel"

"You just wait and see Evans" i laughed before getting up and walking into the kitchen so i could get a coffee and some toast.

"So um, I've got to do an online interview tonight with Jimmy Fallon" Chris followed me into the kitchen.

"Okay" i nodded.

"I just thought id let you know i'll have to disappear for a while"

"Thats fine, Mason will probably be in bed by then and i'll just stay in the living room watching a movie with Scott"

"Now i feel left out" he pouted.

Later that day we all went outback and played some Wiffle Ball to pass the time, Chris and Scott getting competitive again.

"Mom I'm tired" Mason said wrapping his arms around my waist and cuddling up against me.

"You wanna go take a nap before dinner buddy?"

"Yeah"

"Come on then" i picked him up and he rested his head on my shoulder "guys Mason needs a nap, i think you've worn him out"

"I think i need a nap too!" Scott laughed.

"Well I'm gonna make a start on dinner, you have time for a nap if you wanna"

Walking back up to the house i started struggling with Mason, he was getting too big for me to carry around now! My baby was growing up too fast!

"You want me to take him?" Chris suddenly asked, i nodded and come to a stop before passing a sleeping Mason over to Chris.

"Thanks, he's getting heavy" i said sadly.

"No problem"

"I hate that he's getting too big for me to carry him when he's tired"

"I know but its okay, I'm here to help now"

"Who's gonna carry me? Im exhausted!" Scott added making us laugh quietly so we didn't wake Mason.

The evening flew by, we all had dinner then sat and watched Toy Story with Mason. When it came to bedtime Mason insisted that Chris read him a story and of course he couldn't say no. Once he was asleep Chris headed to his office to get ready for his interview while Scott and I headed to the living room to find a movie to watch.

"Sooooo....." Scott said dragging it out to sound scandalous as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"What?"

"What?.... don't you what me Missy! I know you spent the night with Chris! So come on spill the tea sister!"

"You're ridiculous you know that?" I rolled my eyes at him and laughed at how comical he looked right now.

"Like i care" he shrugged "come on! Tell me what happened"

"Sorry to disappoint but nothing happened we just slept"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, we're taking things slow"

"And who's decision was that?"

"We both said we don't wanna rush it"

"But you suggested it right?..... hey I'm not judging you for that" he quickly added when he saw me look away sadly.

"You're scared you're gonna get hurt again aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be? I just wanna make sure we're gonna be okay, that its more than just sex. We were always good at that, the emotional stuff.... not so much"

We were halfway through the movie when Chris rushed in asking Scott to join him for a game that Jimmy Fallon wanted them to do.

"Really? I can't just leave Y/N on her own....."

"Go i'll be fine" i chuckled.

"Sorry dahlin, i hate leaving you on your own.... we wont be long though 15/20 minutes tops.

"Go do what you gotta do, I'm fine here watching this" i nodded to the TV.

While they were off doing the interview

I texted my mom and Hannah to check in, they were doing good all things considered. I quickly settled back in to watch the rest of the movie but was interrupted again by multiple message alerts on my phone. I looked to see it was Hannah blowing up my phone.

When i opened the thread i gasped, my heart was racing so fast.... i felt sick as my eyes landed on one thing in particular....... the headline!

"CHRIS EVANS HAS A SECRET FAMILY!"

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave @jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @ms-betsy-fangirl

If your name is crossed out i couldnt tag you.

#chris evans #ocean eyes #chris evans x reader #reader insert

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organabanana · 3 years ago

Text

leaves of three, let it be [2/3] || harlivy

Chapters: 2/3

Fandom: DCU (Comics)DCUHarley Quinn (Comics)Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel

Characters: Pamela Isley, Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle

Additional Tags: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of batman fucking bats, most of this is straight up idiocy tbh, i just finished watching the cartoon so everyone swears like a sailor i’m sorry, rated for (ahem) happenings later on, ivy/harley/catwoman frenemies

Summary

After Harley mistakenly confesses her love and then promptly takes it back, Ivy spends some time sorting through the things she absolutely doesn't feel (and the ones she does). Selina and Harley don't quite help.

Chapter 1: Tumblr | AO3

Chapter 2: AO3

If you ever asked Poison Ivy if she’s into meditation, she’d say she isn’t.

Actually, if you ever asked Poison Ivy if she’s into meditation, she’d probably stare you down until you crumbled under the sheer weight of her judgment and apologized for ever talking to her, but that’s beside the point.

The point is, Ivy doesn’t meditate. The concept of meditation, if you ask her, goes in the same patchouli-scented box as moon-charged crystals and essential oils.

No. What Ivy does is… introspection. Yeah. She introspects. She consciously clears her mind of all intrusive thoughts. Which may sound a lot like meditation, maybe? But — she cannot stress this enough — it’s not the same thing.

So there she is. Sitting on her couch. Introspecting. And it may look like she’s staring off into the distance, but she’s actually looking at a nearly invisible, tiny little hint of a green sprout that’s managed to grow in a crack on the windowsill.

There it is. A tiny little fighter. Just like—

Nope.

No way.

We are absolutely not thinking about her. We’re introspecting. So Ivy takes in a deep breath, in through her nose, eyes fluttering closed as she exhales slowly and then opens them and tries again.

As she was saying. A tiny little sprout. She could go over there and touch it and quite literally breathe life into it. She can’t tell what kind of plant it is, but she could make it bloom if it’s a flowering species. What if it’s a tree? She could make it grow so big its roots would tear this whole building apart just like her heart was torn apart last ni—

Motherf—

“Morning, my little dill pickle.”

Selina climbs in through the window, practically gliding into Ivy’s apartment with the kind of grace that would normally make Ivy stop and stare and perhaps have a not-quite-respectful thought or two.

Listen: she has eyes. Don’t read into it.

Anyway. As graceful and ridiculously nimble as Selina is, she’s also way up high in Ivy’s shit list at the moment (second only to you know who), so today is not the day for lighthearted conversation and platonic crushes.

“Fuck you, Selina,” Ivy offers as a greeting, glancing at the plant to make sure it’s still there. And it is, of course. Selina fucking Kyle may be a bitch and a half, but she knows how to move without leaving a trace.

“Now?” Selina cocks one perfectly manicured eyebrow at Ivy, the slightest hint of a teasing smirk on her face. “I mean I was gonna offer brunch, but that doesn’t sound like the worst midday plan.”

Ivy simply stares for a moment, as if she’s forgotten if there’s one person in the world that’s absolutely immune to even her most wilting looks, that’s Selina fucking Kyle.

“Oh, come on,” Selina practically groans, “stop it. Brooding is such a teen boy move.”

“I am not brooding.”

“Right.” With one single word, Selina makes it clear that she doesn’t believe Ivy and, most importantly, that she doesn’t care enough to argue. “Anyway. Brunch? My treat.”

Ivy closes her eyes. Not meditating. Just introspecting. Just trying to channel the urge to make a full-grown sequoia grow out of Selina Kyle’s ass into something productive. One deep breath in through her nose and—

“We can have margaritas!” Selina lets out a quiet chuckle as she admires the perfectly matte black polish on her fingernails. “Yikes. Too soon?”

Fuck introspection.

“I. Am going. To fucking murder you.” Ivy stands up with every intention to make good on that promise, and Selina must read it in her eyes because for the first time since Ivy’s known her — for the first time in her life, maybe — Selina looks scared.

Well, maybe not scared.

But she is absolutely concerned.

“Fuck me, Ive, damn,” Selina takes one step back, no longer smirking, “calm down, will you?”

Ivy stops, Selina’s audacity basically jolting her out of her murderous rage. “Calm down, Selina? Fucking seriously? You did what you did and now you come here and tell me to fucking calm down?”

Selina tilts her head just so, like she’s conceding (against her will) that maybe there is a reason for Ivy to be somewhat upset with her.

“Oh, come on,” she sighs, rolling her shoulders like the tension has to leave her body somehow, and it will certainly not be via an apology, “it wasn’t even real poison.”

Ivy’s eyes widen slightly in disbelief. Does Selina think she’s mad because she thinks Harley was in actual danger?

No. No, Selina can’t think that, because Selina may be an asshole, but she’s a very smart asshole. So she must know Ivy’s well aware of Harley’s immunity to toxins. She must know that’s not even remotely the reason Ivy’s spent the last eleven hours and some change introspecting all thoughts of last night out of her mind.

For a split second, Ivy feels something similar to warmth towards Selina as she considers that maybe she’s simply ignoring the embarrassing part of the event to spare Ivy. Maybe she’s pretending this is about Harley’s physical wellbeing and not… well. The other thing.

Sadly, the split second passes.

“If it helps,” Selina says, and even before she finishes the sentence Ivy can already sense it won’t help at all, “it’s totally reciprocated.”

Ivy feels it crawling up her veins, thick like sap. She’s managed to distill plenty of emotions, turned them into tonics and toxins and elixirs and used them for her own benefit and the Green’s. She’s bottled love — well, lust — and hatred and rage. Fear, even. Insanity, ironically enough. But this.

This… this humiliation.

Oh, this is something else.

Ivy closes her eyes. In through her nose, and even the air feels like it has to go through that thick mixture of (public) pain and weakness and acknowledged vulnerability to get to her lungs.

It’s one thing to have Harley see her like this. Like that. Like last night. Defenses down and heart out there in the open like her ribcage’s forgotten its purpose. That’s fine, she figures, because it’s been the norm for years and years and years. It’s nothing new, really, to have Harley see her accidentally stumble over the line into pathetic from time to time. It happens.

But Selina.

Selina fucking Kyle.

Selina saw that and she understood what she was seeing and now she’s acknowledging it, and Ivy isn’t even mad anymore.

I mean, she is. She’s really fucking mad.

She’s just many other things as well as mad, so it’s harder to focus on it.

Out through her mouth. Slowly. And her voice is nice and even when she opens her eyes and looks at Selina once again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ivy lies, walking towards the kitchen like that had been her intention all along, “there is nothing to reciprocate.”

Ivy can feel Selina’s look on the back of her head. She’s not going to give her the satisfaction of turning around, of course. Selina Kyle’s ego is healthy enough as it is. But she can absolutely feel it. A look involving an arched eyebrow and narrowed eyes and possibly a smirk. Maybe the slightest purse of painted lips, if she’s going for judgmental rather than smug.

Selina is multi-faceted in her scorn.

“You have got to be shitting me, Ive,” Selina says, and Ivy still refuses to turn around, focusing instead on staring at the interior of her fridge and ignoring the fact that ninety percent of its contents are there for Harley’s all-day snacking needs.

She ends up grabbing a jug of water not because she’s thirsty, but simply because it’s the only thing in there she knows for a fact is there just for her.

“Seriously?” Selina prods, walking closer and crossing her arms over her chest as she watches Ivy methodically fill a glass of water like it’s a delicate operation that requires her undivided attention. “You’re such a fucking pussy. And I don’t mean that as a compliment.”

Ivy does turn around then, gripping the glass with perhaps a little more force than strictly necessary. In her defense, she’d much rather be gripping Selina’s neck instead.

“Once again, Selina,” she says with a slight shrug, taking a sip of cold water, “no idea what you’re talking about.”

Selina gapes at her. It’s kind of flattering, actually. It’s not every day something leaves Selina Kyle fully unable to speak. Maybe — Ivy thinks to herself, enjoying her water — she’ll never speak again. Maybe she’ll leave Gotham entirely. Wouldn’t that be just—

Ivy’s train of thought is completely derailed by something that is never a good sign: Selina Kyle is laughing.

Not chuckling. Not snickering. Not letting out one of those sarcastic giggles she likes to use to obliterate people’s entire self-esteem.

No. No, this is honest to goodness, full-on belly laughter, and it’s fucking terrifying.

“Wh— what the fuck, Selina?” Ivy asks, trying to sound less scared than she actually is. Selina’s sense of humor is not so much dark as it is downright fucked up, and if she’s finding something in this situation funny, it can only mean someone is about to get crushed, metaphorically or otherwise.

All signs point to Ivy.

“Look at you!” Selina points in the general direction of Ivy, like she’s about to rip her fashion sense to shreds. But this, sadly, has nothing to do with clothes. “Holy shit, you’re in so much deeper than I thought, this is fucking hilarious.”

Ivy takes one step back, until her hip bumps against the counter and she blindly feels around to leave the half-empty glass on it. To her credit, she still manages to try and infuse her voice with something resembling nonchalance one last time.

“You’re not making any sen—“

“Man, you’re in love, in love, huh?”

Ivy’s been shot before. So she feels like she’s not being overly dramatic when she says Selina’s words feel just like that. Like being shot right in the gut. And Ivy tries to be as stoic as she usually is when faced with things like gunshots and blunt force and bat-shaped ninja stars (holy fuck, he’s such a nerd), but she feels a bit like she’s been standing on a castle of cards for the last… however many years it’s been since she met Dr. Quinzel in Arkham, and Selina’s just figured out exactly where to blow to make it all come tumbling down.

“I mean I knew you two were into each other. Obviously,” Selina continues, and Ivy suddenly understands the exact meaning of all those expressions regarding cats and mice, “but I thought it was like… well, you know. Friends in need of a nudge towards the benefits. But this.”

Selina shakes her head, smile as wide as her eyes. She looks both surprised and delighted. Like she’s really just found out there are feelings involved in whatever lust-filled fever dream she’d interpreted as reality before now.

“And you’re the one who’s doing all the yearning. I totally thought she was the useless one. Holy shit.” Selina takes a couple steps in the direction of the window, like using a door like a normal person is simply not an option for her. “How long?”

Ivy opens her mouth, but Selina interrupts her before any sound can come out.

“Don’t answer that. I already know.” Selina waves her hand dismissively. “No wonder you’re fucking terrified. You’d be safer falling in love with an actual hyena.”

“I’m not—“

“Please.” Selina reaches the window and notices that little plant for the first time, giving it a little pat that could almost pass for affectionate if you didn’t know Selina Kyle. “So what’s scarier, Ive?” Selina almost purrs the question. “That she may not love you back, or that she probably does?”

Ivy tells herself she could murder Selina right then and there, with the help from the little plant. Hell, she could probably kill her without help from the plant.

But that wouldn’t really fix anything, right?

“Anyway!” Selina lets out a happy little sigh as she slinks out of the window and onto the fire escape outside. “No brunch, then. I’ll leave you to your brooding.” Her smile turns into a smirk then, eyes narrowed like she’s about to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse. “And don’t worry, Ive. I can keep a secret.”

Selina winks at her before she disappears.

Ivy refuses, pointedly, to think about her conversation with Selina.

She tries to go back to her introspection, but it turns out there’s no breathing in and out when your chest is full of feelings to the point of actual physical discomfort, so Ivy gives up on that, too.

She could plot. Scheme, if you will. It’s been a while since she’s gone for an actual multi-step plan to rid Gotham — and, later, the world — of parasitic CEOs profiting off nature. A bit of environmentally friendly murder never fails to put her in a good mood.

But it turns out it’s nearly impossible to come up with a solo plan without being constantly aware of the fact that going solo is no longer her default. A plan involving only herself doesn’t feel like just any random plan anymore. Now it feels like a plan without her, and that’s just— that’s just the opposite of what she needs to be thinking about right now.

So.

What’s an eco-terrorist to do when eco-terrorism is not an option?

Eight hours later she’s in her lab, hair haphazardly held in a bun with a pencil as she looks at her latest experiment through her microscope.

The little sprout from her windowsill sits right next to the microscope in a beaker serving as a makeshift flower pot while Ivy works.

“You know, if this works,” Ivy tells the sprout, eyes trained on the cell that should enter active mitosis any second now, “you’re going to be my sidekick when we take down the next big guy.”

If this works, and she can give this tiny plant the powers she hopes to give her, they can take over Gotham and the world as a team. Ivy’s always worked best with plants, anyway. Who needs—

“Red?”

Harley’s voice is uncharacteristically mellow, but it manages to startle Ivy anyway.

“Jesus, Harley,” Ivy doesn’t look away from the microscope, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

She’s not mad. Not at Harley, anyway. None of this is her fault. She’s just—

Listen. Figuring out exactly what to call what she’s feeling would require introspection, and we’re not doing that anymore.

“Oh. I uh—“ There’s something in Harley’s tone that twists uncomfortably in Ivy’s chest. “Wanted to talk?”

Ivy doesn’t want to talk. Talking, as it turns out, may be the very last thing she wants to do. But there’s that something in Harley’s voice. Something that sounds a bit like embarrassment. Like shame, even. Like maybe if Ivy were to listen in on Harley’s inner monologue right now the voice in there would sound suspiciously like him calling her a fuck-up and an idiot and—

“I’m sorry.” Ivy leaves the little plant’s cell to enter mitosis in its own time and turns to fully focus on Harley. “I didn’t mean to snap. You just startled me.”

Harley visibly relaxes. Ivy decides she hates him just that much more than she did ten seconds ago.

“Didn’t mean to startle ya,” Harley leaves her bat propped against the trunk of a giant nightshade and takes a few steps towards Ivy.

Normally, Harley has no concept of personal space. She sits on whatever surface is closest to Ivy, invading her space and making it impossible for her to fully focus on anything that’s not Harley. It should be annoying, but it isn’t, for reasons Ivy is absolutely not going to consider at this time.

This time, however, Harley hovers just a step or two away from Ivy and her microscope and her standing desk.

It feels…

It feels wrong.

“What did you want to talk about?” Ivy taps the desk and tries not to smile when Harley beams as she practically bounces to sit on it. Her legs dangle over the edge, well-worn combat boots lightly bumping against Ivy’s legs with each soft swing of Harley’s feet.

Nothing really feels wrong anymore.

“I’m sorry, Pammy.”

Ivy shakes her head. “It’s fine. You know you’re always welcome here, I just wasn’t expecting—“

“No,” Harley says, and when Ivy looks into her eyes she realizes Harley’s not going to let her pretend she has no idea what this is about, “I mean I’m sorry about the other night.”

Ivy stands up a little straighter. Takes half a step back, like that’s going to help. Crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s fine.”

Harley tilts her head just so, bright blue eyes narrowing for a second, and Ivy sees a flash of Harleen right there staring back at her. Reading her fucking thoughts, almost. It’s unnerving.

“It’s fine, Harley,” Ivy insists, tone sharper as she takes another step back. She can hear the low rumble of every vine in her lab stirring along with her mood.

There’s a moment there, maybe a few seconds long, where they both simply stare at each other in silence. Like they’re trying to figure each other out in a way that feels completely foreign because she knows Harley, and Harley knows her, and there’s nothing to figure out. Nothing at all.

“You know—“ Harley’s voice sounds a bit brittle, like it may just break if it hits the wrong word, “you know I didn’t mean it, Pammy.”

Ivy nods. Once.

“I know.” She knows now and she knew when she first met Harley and she’s known for the last however many years it’s been. She fucking knows it’s love but it’s not love like that. She knows. “It’s fine.”

“You know Selina just got in my head, right?” Harley keeps talking, and on some level Ivy knows there’s nothing to be angry about because Harley just wants to explain. She just wants to make sure things aren’t weird between them because they’re best friends. But it feels almost cruel anyway. “You know I don’t—“

“I know you don’t love me, Harley, yes, for fuck’s sakes, I’m not an idiot.”

“But I—“

“Don’t.” Ivy holds one finger up. If she has to listen to Harley say she loves her, but just not in that way she may lose her fucking mind. “It’s fine.”

For a few blessed seconds, it feels like maybe Harley will let it go. Like maybe she’ll just drop it and let Ivy get out of this with some semblance of pride.

But that would just be too much to ask, wouldn’t it?

“I do love you, Ive, it’s just—“

“Holy shit, Harley!” Ivy raises her voice and hears the tell-tale creak of vines growing up the wall. “I know! I fucking know, all right? Selina is a dick and you thought margarita mix was a love potion and you’re not fucking in love with me, all right? I know!”

“But—“

“No! No fucking but!” Ivy swears she hears it. The little snap when she loses her last thread of control over what she’s saying and things spill out before she has a chance to filter them. “I don’t love you either, have you even considered that?”

Harley’s eyes widen in the purest expression of surprise Ivy’s ever seen in her life.

“Right!” There’s a part of Ivy that wants to stop. She wants to stop and backtrack and tell Harley she didn’t mean it because she can’t stand the thought of hurting her, and she needs her to know that of course — of course — Ivy loves her. But she just can’t right now. “I’m not secretly in love with you! All right? I’m glad you don’t love me. I’m fucking fine.”

Harley opens her mouth like she’s about to speak, but closes it without making a sound. She doesn’t look hurt, necessarily. She looks… she looks disarmed, almost. Like she doesn’t know how to react.

“I’ll just—“ Harley swallows and jumps off the desk. “We’re fine, so I’ll just leave. Yeah?”

Ivy nods. “Fine.”

“Cool. Yeah.” Harley sort of smiles, but not really. She moves a bit slower than usual as she goes back to her bat and walks towards the door, and there’s a part of Ivy that wants to stop her and fix this somehow — because it’s not fine at all — but self-preservation wins in the end.

“Remember to lock the door on your way out.”

For a second, Harley almost looks like she may say something. And for a second, Ivy almost hopes she will. But Harley just nods and walks out, and when she hears the lock snap into place, Ivy knows she’s all alone with her plants.

Right where she belongs.

#harlivy #harlivy fanfiction #harlivy fanfic #poison ivy #harley quinn #fic

20 notes · View notes

thisweekingundamwing · 3 years ago

Text

This Week in Gundam Wing 23-29 May 2021

I’m so on the ball with this lately... >_> Sorry. Here’s this week’s roundup! May 23rd - 29th!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works you see or make next week!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

The Preventer Calendar https://archiveofourown.org/works/31561295

Gen, Reader, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Zechs Merquise, OC - Character

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Humor, Partial Nudity, Reader-Insert, Nudity, A teeny hint of TrowaxReader, Rating because of some gratuitous nudity on Trowa's side

Twelve models, twelve shoots, twelve different locations in the Ardennes, and all of it in two fucking days. Because Preventer couldn’t spare you their agents any longer than that.

Why had you agreed to do this project again?

It's all for the arts.

boxofhatebrains

Helping Hand https://archiveofourown.org/works/31620146

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Light Angst, Comfort/Angst, Minor Injuries, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Not Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop Compliant, after series, Flirting, Not Beta Read, slight reference to Episode Zero, Swearing

Duo realizes that Heero comes around whenever he damn well feels like it. They’ve been in contact for the last seven years after the Mariemaia incident, but generally at Heero’s own whim. Duo stays in the same place, it’s Heero who gravitates.

This time is no different.

@duointherain

Silent Menace https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/652120818915115009/fic-silent-menace-11

1x2x1

Warnings: Mute Duo. Drugged and injured Heero.

Une always had the dark side of the job. She’d let others give out goodness, but bad news she owned herself. Duo had come to the conclusion that she was trying to take responsibility, trying to be a decent person. He could vibe with that.

@lifeaftermeteor

Touched by the Stars (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314657/chapters/77885468

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, thar be porn, Dubious Consent, Aliens, Alien Abduction, Alternate Universe, mention of MPREG, everyone takes a turn with Wufei, alien anatomy and interesting dicks, Tentacles, Monster Boys, Slime, Double Cocks, Cum Inflation, Knotting, Oral, multiple dicks, Xeno, Spitroasting, Oviposition, Body Modification, Polyamory, Unbirthing, Triple Penetration, Cervical Penetration

University instructor Chang Wufei didn't even believe in aliens, much less intentionally attract their attention. But that doesn't mean much when they decided he'd be the ideal final mate for their group and scoop him off of the planet to take home to their queen. Enjoying him on the trip there, of course.

@noirangetrois

Of the Sea (Ch. 10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749670/chapters/78205124

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, fairytale my way, Meroctopus!Dorothy, Slow Burn, Multi POV, POV Third Person Limited, merman au, MerMay, Fantasy Politics, mentions of abuse, Unnatural November

Heero Yuy will soon be reaching the age of majority, at which time he will ascend the throne of Wingaria. Before such time, he must needs choose a bride. But what if there are no good choices? What if someone else has captured his heart?

The Story of Wrong (Ch. 8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13849020/chapters/77856332

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Duo POV, Angst, Drama, Tragedy, Spoilers, very dark, Heero and Duo don’t die, I promise, Yaoi, slowburn, Mental Instability, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, If those are in any way an issue for you then go ahead and skip this, Eventual Smut, VERY eventual, this is mostly canon-compliant but I’ve changed a couple things here and there

Duo recounts his experiences during the war in order to explain… well, why he was wrong.

simulacraryn

love me like (tomorrow we’re) stardust https://archiveofourown.org/works/31458119/chapters/77811359

M/F, Treize Khushrenada/Lady Une

Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une, Original Characters, Hot Dog (gundam wing)

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Angst, Near Death Experiences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, unredeemable villain, Sex, Smut, consent is fucking sexy, Spoiler: He wore the Astro Suit at last!, Newtypes (Gundam Wing), no predators or prey here, intact brains

The World Nation would face off against the White Fang to bring about an end to all conflict between the Colonies and Earth. The plan had called for the bitter end of the last bastion of the old regime, Treize Khushrenada. However, as with every play on the stage of war, the actors have chosen to adlib. Effectively throwing the course of history off the rails, the director finds himself faced with a new road to choose.

@zaganthi

Jiu Jie https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413956

M/M, M/F, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell; Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Relationship Negotiation; Polyamorous Character; Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Aged-Up Character(s); Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Past Relationship(s); Jealousy; Awkward Flirting; Bathing/Washing; Cuddling & Snuggling; Museums; talking about feelings; Psychic Bond; Dealing with exes; Ex Sex; Colonists exploring earth

Hilde waved goodbye as she left and Duo went to look for Treize and Quatre. What the hell was wrong with him. His body seemed to be saying yes but his mind was definitely not in that space at all. What the everlasting hell was going on. He wanted to see her again but why?

Treize passed him a picture of tree frogs, apparently feeling the confusion as Duo half jogged through the aquarium to catch back up. What the hell. Just what the hell.

It took him a while to get there, but the moment he got close, Quatre saw him, beamed a happy smile and the link opened up with a rush and he was surrounded again in emotional warmth. It was addictive and a relief, and there wasn’t, there wasn’t any recrimination from either of them. Just run off and see an old flame, it’s cool, we’ll be here when you get back vibes.

Lebensmüde https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413278

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Aged-Up Character(s); Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Preventers (Gundam Wing); Cameos; Therapy; Aftermath of Torture; Aftermath of Violence; Rape Aftermath; Physical Disability; Gratuitous Smut; Psychic Bond; Psychic Abilities; Domestic; Injury Recovery

Treize remembered the discussion of gunpowder residue on his head; it was one of the things John had been livid about after everything, and unable to explain any more than Treize had at the time. Seeing it written down… was something else. Treize closed the book over his finger, gently tapping it on his thigh as he looked up at Quatre.

“The first hot chocolate of the season,” Quatre said sitting down next to him, comfort flowing over the link. “I really wanted something sweet.” He paused. “I can feel something is…oh.” He noticed the book in Treize’s hand.

“Adding to the list of things we need to probably talk about,” he said quietly, contemplating it as he reached with his other hand to take the cocoa. “Have you written everything up?”

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@2pcbart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31618103

Recollect - Trowa/WuFei, comic style

@alphaikaros

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/651358650733150208/little-angry-boi

WuFei Chang, fanart

@bettertasting

https://bettertasting.tumblr.com/post/652303436314017792/something-spicy-for-the-dash-im-really-digging

Heero/Duo, fanart, nsfw

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652089738925359104/%F0%9D%98%9B%F0%9D%98%A9%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%97%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B7%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%B5%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B3-%F0%9D%98%9E%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A5-%F0%9D%98%A4%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-zechs-merquise

Tallgeese, gunpla

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652448694036316160/sd-wing-gundam-ew

Wing, gunpla

@judaru

https://judaru.tumblr.com/post/651257960922857472/im-20-years-late-but-ive-been-reading-a-lot-of

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@keiko1183

https://keiko1183.tumblr.com/post/652327422940807168/completed-with-pencils-might-be-doing-the-acrylics

Trowa/Quatre, fanart

@not-so-dead-fandoms

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651085636504272896/mermay-01

Heero Yuy, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651494132071661568/mermay-02-duo-as-a-betta-fish-merlad

Duo Maxwell, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/652283083819810816/mermay-03-of-course-i-made-trowa-a-clownfish

Trowa Barton, fanart

@pineappleglazedham

https://pineappleglazedham.tumblr.com/post/651759824584966144

Trieze/Une, fanart, fanfiction, playlist

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@clair-audients

https://clair-audients.tumblr.com/post/652114120696594432

Wing & Altron, gif

@disturbed02girl

https://disturbed02girl.tumblr.com/post/617456995130294273/thoughtful-quatre-thursday

Quatre, manga page

@meggie-stardust

https://meggie-stardust.tumblr.com/post/652350439669547008/same-energy

Epyon is an icon.

Fandom Discourse:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/651423437954433024/a-homage-to-the-reader-insert

Reader Insert Homage

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/652076342033170432/shinigamis-coming-to-town-d-duo-just

Duo Maxwell, doujinshi

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652102805897805825/in-the-groupchat-trowa-why-tf-do-we-have-20

Trowa & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652356366558806016/heero-yeah-but-as-far-as-plans-go-this-is-not-a

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/651830976331251712/duo-gesturing-to-heero-dont-worry-weve-got-an

Duo, Heero, & WuFei

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation 2021

Meet the Mods: https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/636708854145613824/come-on-over-a-meet-your-2021-zine-mod-team-head

Check out the blog for the Zine schedule!

@gundam-wing-pride

Gundam Wing Pride 2k21 https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/648237909672083456/incoming-transmission-faq

A Beautiful Rainbow of Prompts https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/649898271517573120/a-beautiful-rainbow-of-prompts

@gwartserver

Month of WuFei https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/649995521569767424/month-of-wufei

Shooting Stars (online convention) https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/650013463432888320/once-upon-a-time-lifeaftermeteor-and-myself

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, !

In need of Summer/Fall(Autumn) prompts!

(I’ll um... fix these when I have time to find more prompts.)

@gwlemonyshenanigans

May 23rd’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/651999227800600576/may-23rd-submission

May 24th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652131130827571200/may-24th-submissions

May 25th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652252350922342400/may-25th-submissions

May 26th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652312096032342016/may-26th-submissions

May 27th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652433653693136896/may-27th-submissions

May 28th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652434486286548992/may-28th-submission

May 29th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652648408588353536/may-29th-submissions

Friday Spotlight! https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652439213602684928/the-lastspotlight-friday

@oztober-rust

Welcome to Oztober Rust

We’re an up and coming Gundam Wing event with a slight twist! This page is still a work in progress, but you’re welcome to join us over on discord and get a feel for the event.

Have discord, will fan. https://oztober-rust.tumblr.com/post/647568110262566912/i-see-a-nice-and-steady-following-we-do-have-a

@seasons-of-gundamwing

Summer Event Voting https://seasons-of-gundamwing.tumblr.com/post/646220556727877633/seasons-of-gundamwing-okay-wingers-its-time-to

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/644080386309275648/events-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

#Gundam Wing #This Week in Gundam Wing #Weekly Roundup #23-29 May 2021 #(it's late again... but not as late as my last one)

18 notes · View notes

demigodsanswer · 4 years ago

Note

valgrace fic request for something with a confession?

((Set in a canon-divergent timeline where Jason doesn’t die, but still gets stabbed. Also Jason and Piper, in this, know that Leo is alive. There isn’t actually a confession in here, really, because the story got away from me, so, sorry about that.

TW/CW for mentions of blood, injury, and vomiting))

~*~*~*~

When Jason woke up, all he felt was the overwhelming pain and pressure emanating from his chest. He tried to open his eyes, but the lights in his room nearly blinded him, sending sharp shooting pains back into his head. All he could do was groan and close his eyes again. The top half of his body felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t feel the lower half.

He felt someone squeeze his hand. It took most of his strength, but he managed to squeeze back. Jason tried to open his mouth to ask who was there, but his throat swallowed the sound. All he could do was lay there, and hope whoever was holding his hand recognized how thirsty he was.

“You alive, Sparky?”

Leo. Jason would have smiled if he had the energy. He would have jumped on his best friend if he could. He and Piper had gotten word of Leo’s survival a few weeks ago, but they hadn’t seen him yet. Now, he was in Jason’s hospital room, holding his hand. Jason wanted to smile and hug his friend, but his body wouldn’t let him. Instead, he settled for squeezing Leo’s hand again.

Leo made a noise that sounded like a laugh mixed with a yelp, before he dropped Jason’s hand. Jason heard his footsteps moving around the room, before returning to his bedside. Jason felt one of Leo’s hands, unnaturally but not uncomfortably warm and calloused slip behind his neck to prop him up just a bit.

“Here,” Leo offered him a spoon. The warm nectar tasted like vegan tacos. While it gave him enough energy to move his head a bit more, it didn’t do much to quench his thirst.

“Water?” Jason managed to choke out.

“I’m on it,” Leo promised. He returned a minute later with a toddler cup with handles and a plastic straw. After Jason had swallowed down as much as his stomach could handle, he finally managed to ask Leo to dim the lights.

Once Leo assured him that the lights were basically off, Jason managed to slowly open his eyes, taking a look at his best friend since his near-death experience.

“It’s good to see you,” Jason said. “I can’t believe you’re alive.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Leo said.

“What -?”

Leo held up a hand to cut Jason off, before explaining the story. Jason remembered being stabbed (even if he didn’t, he was well aware of it now), but he didn’t remember much else. Piper had used charmspeak to get his blood flow to slow way, way down. Apollo called on Zeus to help, but they still can’t tell if Zeus did anything. Probably not, Jason thought, or I’d be a tree right now.

“Calypso and I came as soon as we heard,” Leo said, “you’ve been out for days.”

“Piper?” Jason asked.

“She had to go to Oklahoma, but she was here, dude, everyday with me. She left you a card to read when you have the strength.” Leo paused. “She wants you to know that she’s sorry, and that she did everything she could to try and save you.”

Jason nodded. “When do they think I’ll be able to get out of this bed?”

Leo looked at Jason confused, his eyes scanning Jason’s busted body. “Dude, you can barely open your eyes. You still have a lot of healing to do.”

Jason leaned back and closed his eyes again, but not because he felt like he had to. “I figured. Everything hurts.”

“A spear went right through your chest. You’re lucky it didn’t hit your lungs or your heart. You’re lucky Piper -”

“Yeah, she’s the best.” He tried to keep his voice happy, but he could tell he didn’t succeed.

“She told me what happened between you two. Sorry.” Leo said. He picked up the sippy cup and headed to the sink to refill it. Jason noticed it was shaped like Mikey Mouse, big round black ears decorated the top where the straw poked out, the body was dressed like Mickey’s shorts. Jason briefly laughed at the idea that he was drinking Mickey’s insides, but the macabre image reminded him of his own injury. He suddenly remembered what it looked like to see a spear poking out of his own body, what it felt like. He was suddenly too aware of the pain in his chest and the blood on it. He felt overwhelmingly nauseated. He tried to lean over the bed, hoping to find a trashcan, but there was nothing. The twisting only worsened his pain, and his eyes flashed with white light, before he gagged on himself. There wasn’t enough food in his stomach to produce anything other than water and bile, though.

When the pain subsided, he realized that Leo was gently rubbing his head, his body close to Jason’s. He had quickly held up a clean bedpan to Jason’s chin, keeping him clean.

Jason’s throat burned, but he felt okay enough to lay back down. Leo offered him some sips of water and nectar, which Jason accepted, hoping he’d keep them down.

“You’re bleeding,” Leo said, “let me go get the medic.” Before Jason could say anything, Leo was out the door, and Jason was asleep again.

When he woke up hours later, Leo was still there, asleep in the chair next to the bed. Jason sat up slightly, careful not to distress the wound dressings, the IV, or any of the other vital tubes keeping him alive.

He still couldn’t feel much of his lower body when he shifted. He tried moving his legs, but they felt somehow too heavy and too light, like they were asleep from being still for too long.

“Leo?” Jason said, his voice barely a whisper. “Leo?” He managed a little louder.

Leo stirred, waking up slowly at first, and then all at once when he saw Jason moving.

“Do you need anything?” Leo asked, quick to help him.

“No, I’m okay. You don’t need to stay here all night, though.”

Leo smiled sadly, “’Course I do. I don’t want you to be alone here.”

Jason nearly blushed. “Come on, I’m sure Calypso misses you.”

“Might want to hedge your bets on that one. That little love story didn’t exist so well outside the magic love island.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “You guys broke up?”

Leo nodded. “It’s uh .... well ... she wasn’t right for me.” Leo’s ears were pink, so Jason decided not to push the question too much. “Anyway,” Leo said, perking up again, “I want to show you something.”

Leo pulled out a clipboard with some sketches on it. Jason wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at; Leo had drawn out a few different models of legs, some realistically human, some bionic. “They’re just some ideas. I’ll improve them once I can get to some real blueprints.”

“What are they for?” Jason asked. Leo’s ears went red again.

“What?”

“Are you writing a comic or something?”

Leo looked at Jason, confused and concerned. He looked around the room, like he was hoping to find someone else who knew what was going on.

After a moment he took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck before saying, “I guess you didn’t know yet? Sorry, I shouldn’t have ... I mean ... not like ...”

“Leo?”

He took a deep breath. “It’s like I told you. Piper had to slow your blood flow way, way down, and keep most of it going to your vital parts until they could get you help. That meant taking the blood from somewhere else and, well, they figured you needed your hands more, so ...” He trailed off, but Jason understood.

He tried to sit up and pull the blankets down off his lap, but he couldn’t move that far.

“Here, I’ve got it,” Leo said, pulling them down for him. Jason rested back, finally understanding why he couldn’t feel his legs. They were both gone. The left one was off at the hip, the right one was off at the knee. Jason ran his fingers over the bandages, trying to understand it. When he pressed down on what was left, he could swear he felt it in a foot that wasn’t there.

“But don’t worry, I’m gonna fix you up. You’re gonna be like Robo Cop or some shit,” Leo said, forcing a laugh to try and break the tension. Then. his voice got soft again. “You’re going to be okay. We’re all here to help you. We’re just so happy you’re alive.” He wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders, and pulled him in close, trying to be as gentle as he could be. Jason grabbed onto Leo’s arm, and pulled him in closer. Jason buried his face in his friend’s arm, and started to cry, which only made the pain in his chest worse, which only made him want to cry harder.

Leo didn’t say anything, he just held him for a while.

Finally, Jason felt himself starting to calm down. He pulled away from Leo, who pulled the blanket back up over Jason’s lap.

“I wish Piper was here,” Leo said, sitting down in the chair, “she’s always been better at this kind of stuff.”

Jason reached his hand out to Leo, who took it, scooting his seat closer. “I’m so happy you’re here.” Leo blushed again, and Jason felt himself blush too, but he didn’t know why. “You are enough. Thanks for being here for me.” Leo smiled. “Plus, I’m super lucky. Who else has a friend who can make them Robo Cop?”

Leo’s smile widened. “You know, I was wondering: do you want to be taller? Because I can make you taller.”

“Taller than Frank or Percy?”

“I can do that,” Leo promised.

Jason squeezed his hand. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Well you let me know. I can do anything.”

“I know you can.”

Jason’s head started to feel heavy again, and he could feel himself starting to drift. Leo offered him another spoon-full of nectar to help him sleep and heal, which he took gratefully.

“You need to get some rest too,” Jason said.

“I will,” Leo promised, settling into his chair, “I’ll just also be here when you wake up again.”

Jason smiled, closed his eyes, a drifted back to sleep.

#leo valdez #jason grace #valgrace #implied gay leo #piper mclean #Anonymous

54 notes · View notes

otterplusharchive · 4 years ago

Note

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

#long post

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foilfreak · 4 years ago

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2/2. I also have my own headcannon about them and the whole band but most of the times his exaggerated both ways. Either he’s too bad or suddenly he’s so good it doesn’t even feel like him. Same with his relation with Noodle. It’s barely portrayed as a father/daughter, mostly from what I see is him being a total bastard to her which in my opinion isn’t true. Yes, he does repeat his own father mistakes, mostly on Stu, but I highly doubt he would abuse a child and let her think no one loves her

(Here’s part 1 of this ask for clarity: Please don’t be sorry for a long answer, I appreciate it so much, that you took your time and also because we are on the same page here! Him being flawed and not perfect doesn’t mean he was bad to her. He even admitted himself he thinks of her as a daughter. Also that part how he’s portrayed by fandom. I don’t like it also. I’m not a biggest fan of 2Doc because of how aggressive they show him and how stupid Stu is in them. There’s only one I read so far that’s good and I can’t remember the name.)

Ah thank you friend your words mean a lot and I love that there are people who actually want to talk to me about the stuff that I like and think is interesting and share some of my opinions!!! Yes exactly Murdoch’s flawed personality shouldnt inherently mean that he was a bad influence much less abusive to her as well. Yes there have been at least one or two instances where Murdoc flat out said that he saw Noodle as a daughter so for people to try and argue that it isn’t true is kind of pointless since, whether you agree with it or not, its stated directly in canon. Now of course its a little hipocritical of me to say things like “oh well its stated in canon therefor you should all just accept it”, especially considering the number of middle fingers ive shown to the canons of all different media throughout the years, but even without the canon statement there is concrete evidence showing that murdoc legitimately cares about noodle as a daughter even with his fucked up personality.

Ya i can’t say im a big fan of how he tends to be portrayed by the fandom either, and the worst part is that its not entirely because i think their characterization of him is 100% off from how he acts in canon, but rather they take what they see in canon and then rev it up to 11, but the main problem i have is that its still somewhat true to the source material because that’s how he’s portrayed in canon as well, especially when it comes to 2D. 2D has been Murdoc’s punching bag from the very beginning and while it was kind of funny in the beginning, as the phases went on and Murdoc continued treating 2D like absolute garbage, it became clear, especially by phase 3, that there was never going to be a happy, healthy friendship between the 2 of them. There are instances in which they seem to get along like best friends without issue, like the various interviews we see in phases 2 and 4, but then a music video will come out and Murdoc will be right back to beating up on 2D like nothing good every happened between them. 2D is a ship that i tentatively like, but it heavily depends on how Murdoc and 2D are portrayed and like you said I don’t enjoy when Murdoc is nothing but an abusive asshole and 2D is too stupid to realize what’s going on. I have read a few good 2D fics in the past where there’s a good mix between Murdoc having issuesTM but not being outright abusive to those around him and 2D being his usual kind of ditsy self but he was also a lot more perceptive than canon 2D is usually portrayed as being. it was nice and the plots were very interesting and it was a really unique but faithful take on how a healthy 2Doc relationship might come about. Its been quite a few years since i read these so i dont remember what theyre called and idk if they would still hold up today but I enjoyed them back when i first read them in 2015 is when i think it was.

A lot of people have their own personal headcanons as to how the band operates and that’s totally fine, im the same way, but i would be lying if i said that most people tended to portray the band (especially murdoc) in ways that I personally don’t agree with. It’s nice to read a fic or a comic where Murdoc is being nice and showing a bit more care and consideration than he normally does, and I do think he’s capable of showing those emotions when the situation calls for it, but some creators do take it a little far and after a while it stops feeling like Murdoc, or vice versa when they make him so bad that its just too much. Maybe a lot of people don’t see the father/daughter relationship between Murdoc and Noodle like we do, and that’s fine I mean people are free to interpret Gorillaz in any way they like, but it really does bring my gears when people get on here and say that Murdoc wasn’t good to Noodle when she was a kid even tho there’s literally no evidence in canon suggesting that Murdoc ever did or would directly hurt her in any way. Murdoc is a product of a really shitty and horrible childhood but like i said before that doesnt mean he is inherently going to treat Noodle, or any other child, in that same manner or make her feel as tho she isnt special or loved.

Again thanks for the ask, these are so much fun to answer and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday!!! 🥰

#murdoc niccals gorillaz #mine #ask #anon #noodle gorillaz #gorillaz #noodle #Murdoc Nicolas #2D #2d gorillaz #2doc #kind of?#it’s mentioned so I’ll tag it

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honeyhan-123 · 5 years ago

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Say Thank You XV

Series Summary: Nearly five years have passed since Steve Rogers saves your life without so much as a thank you. When he sees you again by chance, he makes sure that he’ll never let you go and maybe teach you some manners in the process.

Series Warning: This will be a dark!Steve fic with stalking, kidnapping and manipulating as well as non-con and dub-con situations. Please don’t read it if you don’t like that sort of thing.

Chapter Warnings: Smut, angst, major character death, me being a lil’ bitch.

Word Count: 8.0k (yikes)

AN: So sorry about the delay but there was so much I wanted to include in this chapter and we’re here finally.

I. New York ~ II. Madrid ~ III. The Apartment ~ IV. The Trip ~ V. The Basement ~ VI. The First Lesson ~ VII. The Waiting Game ~ VIII. The First Attempt ~ IX. The Darkness ~ X. The Truth ~ XI. The Syndrome XII. The Meeting ~ XIII. The Mission ~ XIV. The Reunion

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

XV. The Battle

Your thighs ached as Steve helped you dress in one of his t-shirts. It swallowed you just like the rest of his clothing did but you didn’t mind. His scent was heavy on the shirt and it gave you an odd sense of being home. The cotton white towel that had been wrapped around his waist as you dressed fell to the floor, piling in a heap.

You watched the firm muscles of his back shift, rippling under his skin as he moved, bending over to pick up his discarded suit. You admired the sight of his glorious firm backside as he dressed and even when he was done, you still marvelled at him.

The suit had changed a lot since when you had last seen it during the battle of New York. You had always thought he looked a little like he had just come straight from a comic book but the way the dark material clung to his form had your cunt clenching in need. Gone was the bright royal blue with the blinding red and white stripes, in their place was a much darker look, definitely more fitting for the man before you now.

His lips brushed against yours softly, his arms wrapping you in a warm embrace. You buried your head into his chest, nuzzling against the material. ‘Steve?’ Your voice was meek against his chest, timid in the sparse room.

‘Yes Sweetheart?’ He tried to coax you, urging you to confide in him.

‘I’m scared.’

‘I know you are Sweetheart. But it’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.’ Steve felt awful for lying to you, in truth he had no idea what was going to happen. But he did know that he would do whatever it takes to keep you safe. No matter what.

‘C’mon Sweetheart, the others are waiting and we need to get to Wakanda as soon as possible.’ He held your hand as he tried to lead you from the room but your feet were locked in place. Both he and Bucky had mentioned the African country but you didn’t quite understand why.

‘Wakanda? Why are we going there?’

‘Bucky told you about the Infinity Stones right?’ You nodded your head, slightly confused as to how it all connected together. ‘The Vision has one of them implanted into his mind and so to get it out we need somewhere with a top tier science lab and I know just the scientist to help us.’ You nodded again, thankful that he had actually spoken to you unlike when he had just left for that mission. And yet, you couldn’t get out of your head how you had had to prompt him to share information. It shouldn’t be like that, not really. He should willingly offer it, he should want you to be a part of his life. Just like Bucky had when he had calmed you down, telling you all about the mission that Steve was on. The one he had spoken about so vaguely…

You squeezed your eyes shut, as though you could squeeze those thoughts out of your brain. You didn’t want them there, especially when you had Steve standing right in front of you, his warmth seeming to seep through his hand to yours, warming your entire body.

This time, you allowed him to pull you from the room, leading you through various different hallways until he reached a hangar. ‘So glad you could finally join us Captain.’ You heard the sarcastic call emanate from somewhere inside the jet and you knew the voice belonged to Rhodey. Your cheeks heated as you approached the rest of the team, Rhodey had clearly realised why Steve had taken so long to fetch you and so the others probably had as well.

Bucky smiled thinly over at you as he arrived, his small black gobag draped over his shoulder. ‘Hey Buck, I just wanted to say thank you for looking after my girl.’ Something flashed too quickly for you to register in Bucky’s eyes at Steve’s words.

‘Yeah sure anytime pal.’ His eyes briefly flickered over to you before returning to Steve’s as he was pulled in for a hug. Bucky forced a smile once more before hastily turning on his heel and heading towards the jet. You didn’t have long to wonder at Bucky’s strange behaviour before someone else approached.

‘Ahh, so this is why you were so impatient to get home.’ You could clearly hear the teasing in the infamous Black Widow’s voice as she approached, extending her hand to clasp yours. ‘I’m Natasha.’ You smiled thinly, nerves eating you up as you gave her your name.

The next person to offer you their hand was Sam and he definitely made you feel far more at ease than the super spy had. His smile was bright and genuine as he took your hand, asking Steve teasingly where he had been hiding you away. Oh if only he knew.

As Steve tactfully evaded Sam’s teasing, your eyes flitted over the jet, watching as the rest of the team readied themselves. You felt Steve’s arm wrap around you as he tried to bring you into the conversation. You withheld your sigh but nestled in against Steve’s side, enjoying the warmth that emanated from him. Thankfully his conversation with Sam was cut short by two others arriving. They introduced themselves as Wanda and Vision and before you knew it, Sam had the hangar doors open and the jet in the air.

The flight was silent for the most part, your hand in Steve’s as he ignored the quizzical looks the others sent the two of you. While he had given them a simple explanation, calling you his girlfriend, he skirted the other questions fired at him. Everyone seemed to drop it except one. It sent shivers down your spine, the way her piercing green eyes roved over you, seemingly searching through your soul.

You knew that Steve had been on a mission when he had found you again in Madrid and you wondered if she had been there too, at least that would explain why she had so many questions and struggled to accept your relationship. There was another possible reason but you didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to have to deal with the self doubt and insecurity it brought with it.

As your stomach churned with thoughts of Natasha’s bright green eyes, you felt another pair on you, searching through you. Your eyes flickered over to Bucky and where he sat, opposite you and Steve in the body of the jet. Melancholy seemed to radiate off of him as his gaze was transfixed on your entwined hands.

If Steve noticed his best friend's demeanor he didn’t say or do anything. Instead, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you into his warm embrace, resting your back against his firm chest. It was warm and familiar, bringing a soft smile to your face. ‘You should try and get some sleep Sweetheart. It’s going to be a long flight.’ You hummed up at him, your eyes drifting closed. The even expansion and contraction of his chest mixed with the soft thump of his heart lulled you to sleep.

When you awoke a chill had settled over you. Steve was no longer holding onto you and as your eyes drifted open you saw him leaning over Sam’s chair, staring fixedly out the windshield. He muttered something about co-ordinates that you didn’t quite catch and you felt a jolt as the jet dipped down until it was almost in line with the trees.

‘I hope you’re right about this or we’re going to land a lot faster than you want to.’ You locked eyes with Bucky in a mild panic as you heard Sam’s words. The jet continued to sink lower and Bucky crossed the jet, coming to sit next to you.

‘We’ll be fine. Steve knows what he’s doing; he’s done this before.’ He murmured the words to you, his hand coming up to slowly rub your back, soothing you.

You barely had a chance to nod before you felt a jolt through the jet and your eyes squeezed shut, certain that you were about to die. Yet, no pain came. No screaming or wailing as the jet crashed into the trees. ‘Doll, you can open your eyes now. It’s okay.’ Slowly, you allowed Bucky to coax you into opening your eyes, you jaw dropping slightly as you did so.

Wakanda was unlike any other place you had ever seen before. Where there once was acres of unruly trees, now stood a gleaming city. Sure, you had read about it in the news and Steve had told you a little bit about it but his words had not done the place justice. You stared in awe as the jet flew over a large body of water before coming to hover over a landing pad, the bay doors slowly opening.

Steve turned away from the cockpit, surprised to see you so close behind him but he smiled, taking your hand as he led you from the ship. ‘Wakanda really is something huh?’ All you could do was nod in awe, your eyes struggling to adjust to the bright sunlight outside.

You noted the procession waiting to greet you, T’Challa in front with a hoard of women clad in red, holding sharp spears. You followed a half-step behind Steve as he approached the Wakandan King, holding out his hand. ‘Seems like I’m always thanking you for something.’ The king smiled and as they shook hands.

‘And who might this be?’ His gaze turned curious as he locked eyes with you, practically hiding behind Steve’s immense frame.

Steve introduced you and you gently took the hand extended by the King, warming up to the man as he smiled genuinely down at you. ‘I was wondering if she could stay, perhaps with Shuri while she worked?’

‘Of course Captain. Any friend of yours is a friend of Wakanda.’ Steve smiled at that, making way for the others to greet T’Challa.

‘Ahh, the White Wolf. How have you been?’ You were slightly confused by the greeting he gave to Bucky but the other man merely shrugged.

‘Could be better and I wish I was returning on better circumstances.’ The two men nodded gravely before the king’s attention was drawn to Bruce as he stepped forward, bending into a slight bow. You watched as Rhodey tried to hold in his laughter as T’Challa awkwardly informed Bruce, whose cheeks had a definite pink tinge, that that wasn't a part of their custom.

You couldn’t hold back your smile as you watched the display but it was soon lost as they started discussing strategy. Although you knew little of what to expect, it sounded like they were planning for a full on invasion of enemy forces. A chill went down your spine as you remembered the last time aliens had invaded Earth. If it weren’t for Steve’s arm wrapped around your waist as T’Challa led you through the halls of his palace, you weren’t sure if you could have handled the fear that thought brought with it.

You had well and truly lost track of all the turns and twists you had taken as T’Challa pushed open a large set of double doors, revealing what even you could tell was a state of the art lab. Inside you could see a girl, a woman really, she only looked a few years younger than you, working on something but quickly her attention was snatched by your group.

Your attention waned as she and Bruce spoke about the Vision and how they should properly disconnect him from the stone. The science terms they rattled off with ease floated over your head and looking around at the others it didn’t seem like you were the only one slightly lost.

‘T’Challa, I don’t suppose you have some spare bedrooms we could use? According to our calculations they should be arriving tomorrow - probably in the morning sometime.’

‘Of course Captain. I’ll have some people escort you to our guest wing while these two work.’ Steve smiled in thanks and started leading you from the room, the rest of the team following suit except for Wanda, choosing to stay by Vision’s side.

‘Do you think Bruce and Shuri will get it done before they arrive?’ Sam’s melodic voice broke the silence as you walked.

‘We can only hope they do. Otherwise I don’t know what we’re going to do.’ Steve’s thumb rubbed circles on yours, his nerves very apparent as the group fell back into a silence.

Eventually you ascended to what was obviously the guest wing T’Challa had mentioned and Steve led you to the first room he could find. ‘Why don’t you go and settle in Sweetheart? I’ll be right back. I just want to talk to Bucky real quick first.’ You nodded and reached up to give him a short peck before heading inside, wondering what could be so desperate.

Steve’s knuckles rapped on the thick wood as he stood in the hallway, his gaze longingly fixated on the door which you had just disappeared behind. No matter how badly he wanted to be with you right now, he knew he had to talk to Bucky first. Something was clearly on his mind, he had been off ever since Steve had returned from the mission.

He heard a soft voice call for him to enter so he pushed the door open slowly and peered around. At first it didn’t seem like Bucky was there and just as Steve was about to turn around, he noticed the open balcony door, allowing the cool night air in.

Bucky was leaning on the rail, his gaze fixated on the Wakandan skyline but Steve knew he sensed him, standing in the doorway. ‘Hey Buck.’

‘What do you need?’ It had been a while since Steve had seen this side of Bucky, the strange detachment.

‘No Buck. What do you need? You’ve been acting off ever since I got back from Scotland. What’s going on with you?’ Steve heard a long sigh, Bucky’s gaze refusing to move away from the city.

‘It’s nothing Steve. I’m fine, just stressed about tomorrow.’

‘That’s bullshit and we both know it. Is it…’ Steve broke off, not quite sure if he wanted the answer to his question. ‘I know I haven’t been spending much time with any of the team and especially you recently and I’m sorry about that. But I feel like my girl and I are finally in a really good place right now and now that she’s met the rest of the team, things will change. I promise we’ll both be around more.’ At his words Steve noticed the almost undetectable tense of Bucky’s body. ‘I thought… I thought you liked her? Did something happen?’

Bucky cursed at how easily his best friend could read him, forcing his best fake smile. ‘No, nothing happened, she just missed you, a lot. She’s a real dame.’

‘Buck…’

‘Steve, everything’s fine. Just go be with your girl, we all need to get some sleep.’ After a terse silence, Steve finally receded, bidding Bucky a goodnight as he left the balcony, heading back to you. The city lights reflected in Bucky’s eyes, the feeling of disgust that Steve’s visit had only intensified churning around in his stomach. How could he tell his best friend that he was acting weird because he was jealous?

You didn’t hear the door open when Steve returned but you felt the dip in the bed as he pressed his body against yours, his arm wrapping around you and his face nuzzling into your neck. His lips brushed feather light along the skin sending shivers down your back.

‘What were you doing?’ All thoughts of sleep were thrown out the window as he pressed even closer to you, hot and hard underneath the silken sheets.

‘Just talking to Bucky.’ Steve breathed against your shoulder blade, his hand pushing his shirt up above your legs.

‘How is he?’ Your response was immediate, concern for the man you barely knew taking over.

Steve’s hand stilled between your legs, trying to talk himself out of asking the question forming in his mind, but both you and Bucky had been acting weird. The need to know won. ‘He’s okay. Did something happen while I was gone?’ He didn’t need you to respond, feeling your body tense against his was enough of an answer for him.

He pulled away, his hand that had been wrapped around you pulling your body with his, forcing you to face him. ‘What happened?’

The man staring back at you was a stark contrast of the one that had crawled into your bed five minutes ago. His azure eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched as his mind raced, already suspecting the worst.

‘Nothing really. I just - I just missed you. So much, you have no idea. And then I couldn’t sleep, I had one of my nightmares and Bucky was there. He woke me up and brought me back and he was so warm. I-’ You cut yourself off, not sure if you really wanted to finish that sentence but you knew it would sound better coming from you instead of Bucky.

‘You what?’ Steve’s grip in you tightened, his fingernails digging into your tender muscles.

‘I asked him to stay with me.’ You admitted, you voice small as it came out.

‘And then what?’

‘And then nothing. He held me and I fell asleep. He just - it just made me feel like you were still with me.’ You hand reached up, cupping his cheek as you tried to explain why you had done it. ‘He’s just warm and big like you and I was scared and you had left me alone. I didn’t know where you were or what you were doing.’ After a long pause, Steve gave a miniscule nod, his jaw still clenched but his eyes no longer narrowed into slits.

‘I understand. As long as that’s all that happened?’

‘Of course Stevie I -’ You cut yourself off from saying that. No matter what that stupid muscle in your chest told you, you weren’t quite ready to say it to him yet. ‘Nothing else happened. The next morning he got your call and then we went to the compound. We’d barely been back before you joined me in the shower.’ You hoped the reminder of your shower escapades was enough to put him back in a good mood. You had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow and you didn’t want to spend this last night together arguing, yet… you did want some answers.

‘But while we’re being honest with each other…’ Your hand trailed down his chest, drawing indecipherable patterns, your eyebrows furrowed as you thought over your words.

‘What Sweetheart? What do you want to know?’

‘At the compound… before the shower, I kind of maybe went snooping through your stuff and I-’

‘You found my sketchbook.’

‘Yeah. There were a lot of drawings of me but… we only really met after the Accords… after you had moved out of the compound.’ You didn’t know much about Steve’s life post the Accords and before you but you knew he would have moved out of the compound.

‘Well… I mean, we actually met in New York during the battle there, nearly six years ago now. Do you remember that?’

‘Of course I do. You saved my life.’

‘Yeah I did. I remember it so vividly, fending off those Chitauri and then finding you, lying trapped under that car. Even in the heat of battle I knew you were beautiful, a proper dame. But then when I had to leave and you didn’t even say thank you… I don’t know. It just reminded me of all those other women Bucky had tried to get me to date but they had never paid any attention to me, just like you and it got to me.’ Your heart broke for him as he re-lived the neglect he had felt for all those years.

‘You haunted my dreams and everytime I stared at a blank piece of paper, the only thing I wanted to draw was you. I became increasingly obsessed with you, with finding you and teaching you some manners. And then I did... but somewhere along the way it became more than that. I fell in love with you and I know that this wasn’t exactly the best way to start the rest of our lives together but I can’t change the past. I can only hope that you find it in you to forgive me. I love you Sweetheart, so much. You have no idea how it would destroy me if anything ever happened to you.’

Your breath hitched as he said those three words, the same ones that had been bouncing around in your chest for the past few days. An achingly long silence stretched as you considered what to say in response.

‘You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s a lot to process and if… if you don’t think that you could ever love me back or forgive me… well we could, I mean, you could… you could leave.’ Steve didn’t know how on earth he managed to choke the words out. He could feel tears threatening to pool in his eyes at the mere thought of you leaving. He knew there was nothing he wanted more than a future with you and if you left it would kill him, but he also knew that he couldn’t force you into the future he wanted. He wanted the big wedding, the kids, the growing old together. He wanted it all and try as he might, he couldn’t force you to want it with him. He didn’t want to build this life with you only to have you resent him every day for the rest of your lives.

Your head spun, whiplash at his emotions confused you as he peered at you, his eyes reflecting just how vulnerable he was right now. He had gone from not-so-borderline jealous about Bucky to confessing his love to offering you a way out. Did you want a way out?

‘Steve… I-I can’t say those words back to. I’m sorry. I wish I could but I’m just not ready.’ The way the small bundle of hope in his eyes seemed to die tore at your heart strings. ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t want to though. What you did was wrong and so incredibly fucked up and if we’re going to continue, we need to have a serious conversation about our expectations for where we go from here and now just isn’t the time for it. Maybe after all this is over we can have that chat?’

‘Of course. Anything you want. I think that sounds like a good idea.’ Steve would agree to anything if it meant you would choose to stay with him. He was determined to fix this mess he had made. ‘I know you said you can’t say it but I really do love you.’

You smiled at his words, the pure emotion shining through as he spoke. ‘I know.’ You smiled as you leaned up, your lips pressing against his. It was slow and soft even after you had crawled on top of him, your thighs spread out on either side of his impressive chest. You drank each other in, your bodies slowly coming to life as you rocked against him, feeling him grow once more.

His hands drifted up, bunching his t-shirt up above your waist and then swiftly pulling it over your head and throwing it into some corner of the room, far, far away. Just like always Steve was mesmerized by you. With the moonlight drifting in and dancing along your skin you looked like a true goddess and Steve couldn’t believe that he even had a chance with you.

His hands gripped your ass, moving you against him slightly harder as your tongues seemed to merge. All he could sense was you. Your taste, your smell, your body against his. You were his whole world.

Gently, he rolled over, switching places with you, leaning on his elbows above you. He gently pushed some hair off of your face and out of the way, his eyes boring lovingly into yours before diving back in. One hand snaked its way down, underneath the band of your panties. He cupped you there. His fingers coating themselves with the slick pooling there before slowly inserting themselves into you, one at a time.

The fire was slowly igniting in your belly as he curled his fingers this way and that, stroking you right there, bringing you to life. His lips brushed over your skin, making their way down your neck and over your breasts. Your fingers curled in his hair, burying themselves in his locks. Your back arched up, pushing your chest further into his mouth and he rolled your nipple between his teeth.

‘Steve,’ You were breathless already, his name barely falling from your lips in a plea for more. And Steve gave you more.

His thumb pressed down on your clit as he continued to thrust his fingers into you and with his mouth dancing over your skin, you couldn’t hold back. You pulled his face back up to yours, forcing your lips against his as you came, gushing over his hand. His mouth swallowed your moans, drinking them in until you couldn’t even think any more.

You felt his tip brush against your pulsating clit, circling it a few times before inching its way down to your entrance. Steve’s eyes were locked on yours as he gently pushed in, pausing every few centimeters, relishing in the way your walls squeezed him so tightly. When he had finally made his entire way in, he couldn’t help but groan. It felt so right. Being here with you, knowing that he had a chance at a real future. Even though the world could end tomorrow, Steve couldn’t find it in himself to care. This moment was perfect.

Eventually he started rocking his hips, your own moving with his, meeting him halfway. He cradled your head in his hands, his lips meeting yours once more, needing that feeling of connection.

He could feel your fingernails digging into his back, your hands sliding in the sweat forming. His thrusts grew in speed and force. He was sure to angle his hips, making his length brush against you there. You were so warm and wet, your velvet walls squeezing him so tightly. He could feel your slick dripping down, spilling all over him and coating your skin.

Steve breathed in your air and one hand disappeared down to where your bodies were connected. He rubbed his fingers over your clit, playing with the small bundle of nerves. The ever-tightening coil in his gut told him he didn’t have long to make you cum.

‘Sweetheart… baby please. Cum for me, cum on my cock.’ His voice was deep, a long groan against your lips as he pleaded. ‘I love it when you cum with me Sweetheart. You take my cock so fuckin’ well and my cum… god you have no idea how hard I get knowing it’s inside you.’

The pleasure was growing too much, the feeling of your walls clenching around him told Steve that you were close too. With a final circle of your clit, Steve felt you come undone underneath him. Your muscles tensing as you screamed into his mouth. He felt your hands slide down his back, gripping his ass as he came, your walls squeezing him like a vice. He thrusted once, twice, three times into you before stilling.

He pulled back slightly, pride taking over at the fucked out expression on your face. In the heat of things some hair had clung to the sweat coating your face so he gently brushed it back out of the way. ‘I love you.’ It was soft and he didn’t wait for a response, pecking your lips once more before pulling out and rolling onto his back, dragging your body with his.

His arms wrapped around you, his hands over your stomach. When he felt you try to stir in his arms he just pulled them tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Even though you hadn’t opened your mouth yet, he knew you wanted to discuss tomorrow. ‘Shhh, Sweetheart. Don’t worry about tomorrow, just sleep. I’ll protect you, now and always.’ He felt you nod against his chest, your lips breaking into a smile as you got comfortable.

He himself eventually drifted off, a smile on his face as he thought about the future you were going to share.

‘My King.’ The same woman you had met yesterday entered the hall. Her golden armour gleaned from the sunlight spilling in from outside.

‘What is it Okoye?’ T’Challa asked, even though everyone sitting at the breakfast table knew what she was about to say.

‘They’ve entered the atmosphere. We have maybe twenty minutes until they arrive.’ A sombre mood fell over the group, leaving their meals half eaten as they departed the hall. You followed along after Steve, his hand gripping yours tightly, a firm scowl on his face as he thought. While the others turned to head downstairs towards the armoury, Steve led you upstairs, towards Shuri’s lab.

He knocked on the door before entering. The room was just as it had been yesterday, Shuri frantically working over Vision as Wanda watched over nervously. Both women barely spared you and Steve a glance as you entered.

‘Shuri, how long will it be?’

‘I’m working as quickly as I can. Do you know how many neurons there are in the brain?’ The princess sassed back, but Steve paid her attitude no mind.

‘How long?’

‘Another hour or two but I would be working much quicker if I didn’t have you distracting me.’ Hey eyes raised up, looking Steve square in the face. He nodded and turned back to you.

‘Everything’s going to be okay Sweetheart. You’re going to be fine. But just in case something happens, I want you to have this.’ He handed you the gun that had been strapped to his thigh.

‘Steve? What? I can’t - I don’t know how to use one.’

‘And you won’t have to use it but I need to know that if in the rare case something happens you can protect yourself. I won’t be able to focus out on the field if I know you might be in danger.’ You nodded, hesitantly taking the gun from his hands. It was heavier than you had expected although you had definitely never seen this coming.

‘This is the safety. It’s on right now but at the first sign of trouble, you flick that switch and then you point and shoot. Never ever point it at something you don’t intend on shooting. Do you understand?’ You nodded, a chill settling over you.

‘Okay, Sweetheart I love you. You’re going to be fine.’ You could barely stand still, your body threatening to collapse as fear plagued you but you managed a nod. His arms wrapped around you, his warmth and his scent were comforting. His lips even more so as he kissed you lovingly. He had to leave all too soon, a silent conversation with Wanda as she promised to look after you and one last glance as you before he was out the door, heading down to the armoury.

Steve’s nerves jittered inside of him. It was that weird sense of calm and stress that he always felt before a big mission or battle. It gave him an odd sense of comfort. He was as prepared for this as he would ever be and while he would’ve preferred if you were somewhere far away, he knew Shuri and Wanda would help protect you. Not that anything would happen.

He stepped forward, walking with Nat and T’Challa to where he could see his pals from the train station the other night.

‘Where’s your other friend?’ He heard Natasha tease and he wanted to shake his head. Now was not the time to provoke these guys.

‘You will pay for his life with yours.’ The one with blue hair promised, a glint in her eye. ‘Thanos will have that stone.’

Steve's jaw clenched, his resolution staying fim. ‘That’s not going to happen.’

‘You are in Wakanda now. Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.’ T’Challa chimed in, determined to protect his country.

A smirk came over her face as the king spoke and Steve didn’t like the smugness that radiated off of her. ‘We have blood to spare.’ With a grunt she lifted her sword skyward and the half a dozen ships opened their doors.

Quickly Steve and the others backed away to where the troops stood in formation, getting ready to fight.

‘They surrender?’ Bucky’s low timber sounded in Steve’s ear and for a moment he was taken back to the forties, to the last time they fought together on that train.

‘Not exactly.’

The crowd watched on in silence as the dog-like aliens galloped through the treeline, out onto the field, not stopping even after the first wave had been decimated by the protective barrier.

‘They’re killing themselves.’ Okoye muttered under her breath, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. Steve couldn’t help but agree. He too couldn’t take his eyes off of the animals hurling themselves at the barrier despite how gruesome it was.

The few that managed to make it through the barrier were easily disposed of. The Wakandan soldiers fired from their spears and Sam and Rhodey flew overhead, dropping various grenades on them. The roar of Bucky’s machine gun rang in Steve’s ear.

Steve watched as the animals seemed to diverge, splitting off around the edge of the barrier, making to circle the city. His fears were confirmed by Bruce in his comms. ‘Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there’s nothing between them and Vision.’ Between them and his girl Steve added in his mind.

‘Then we better keep them in front of us.’

‘How do we do that?’

‘We open the barrier.’ Steve and T’Challa shared a look as the other man called the princess.

Steve’s blood pounded, his heart thumped wildly in his chest. His sweat made his hair cling to his forehead. They were easily outnumbered but what made the battle so difficult was the clear lack of fear shown by the animals. No matter how many Steve killed, more kept coming at him, unafraid of what they had seen him just do.

While he liked the shields that T’Challa had given him, he wasn’t quite used to them. It was times like these when Steve really missed his shield. It would have been useful now, being able to throw it around instead of using purely just hand to hand skills. Although, the sharp edges of the Wakandan ones were handy for stabbing.

Steve felt himself airborne, a large something crashing into him before he was pounded into the ground, two of the aliens on top of him. Hastily he kicked out, swinging his arms wildly, chopping off limbs as he fought to get them off. However, when they finally collapsed next to him, he barely had a chance to regain his senses before five more were in their place.

He struggled to breathe, an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia flowing through him but he knew he couldn’t afford to panic.

Through the sea of bodies surrounding him, Steve could make out a great flash of colour and he was momentarily blinded by the light before he felt a sudden lightness. The mutts that had been on top of him all lay in pieces at his sides despite him doing nothing. Sitting up confusedly, he glanced around, thanking whoever was out there when he saw a familiar Norse god.

He hastily stood up, rejoining the battle as he slowly made his way across the field to where Thor fought alongside what looked like a tree and a machine gun yielding racoon.

‘New haircut?’ Steve called over the battle.

‘I noticed you’ve copied my beard.’ Steve smiled, nodding slightly. He had missed these mid-fight chats. He watched in amazement as the tree reached out, his arm forcing its way through half a dozen mutts. ‘Oh by the way this is a friend of mine, a tree.’

‘I am Groot.’ In all his time Steve had seen a lot of weird things but a moving and talking tree probably had to make the top ten list.

‘I am Steve Rogers.’ He felt it only polite to introduce himself to the tree before getting back to the heat of the battle.

Your gut twisted and clenched, your anxiety was through the roof as you watched the scene unfold from the lab. Wanda had tried to help, to keep you distracted but she herself was clearly worried about those that she called her family. When the rainbow tunnel had come down from the sky, you had worried that it was more alien ships but Wanda had just smiled. ‘It’s Thor. He’s here to help.’

You had heard of the god of thunder before and it did definitely help your nerves knowing that Steve had a god on his side now, but still… there were a lot of enemies.

The ground seemed to shake beneath you, Shuri’s instruments rattling on shelves as you glanced around confusedly. ‘What was that?’

‘Oh no… look.’ Wanda pointed out the window, where you could see the treeline slowly disappearing. The ground visibly shaking even from this distance.

‘What is it?’

‘I’m not sure… it looks like -’ Wanda’s voice cut off when the ground erupts. Long drill-like structures spring up in the middle of the field and what little relief Thor’s arrival had caused vanishes. You race over to where Shuri stands arranging Vision’s nerves away from the golden stone in the holograph.

‘How much longer Shuri?’

‘I-I’m not sure. It’s complicated.’

‘We don’t have much longer!’ Your voice is shrill, panic flowing freely through you as you thought of Steve fighting down there with the hoards of animals.

You turn back to the window, needing Wanda to calm you down but she’s no longer standing staring out at the field. Instead you see a glowing red cloud swirl around her as she flies down to join the battle.

Your heart sinks as you watch her go but you couldn’t blame her. Even though you knew absolutely nothing about fighting you would do anything to be down there with Steve. Not knowing whether he was okay was killing you.

The clang of metal drew you from your worries as you whipped around. You had no idea how he had gotten there but standing in the doorway was a pale blue giant of a man. You watched as the member of the Dora Milaje that had been stationed with the princess charged the giant but she barely stood a chance. Her body was tossed away within an instant, landing near your feet.

Your heart started racing, pounding wildly in your chest and your palms were sweaty but you dashed towards the table where you had placed Steve’s gun. Your hand trembled as you switched the safety off just like he had shown you that morning. You watched as Shuri fired her own weapon before slowly raising the cool metal and pointing it at the giant’s chest.

You took an even breath before firing. The recoil was enough to force you a few steps back but you had his attention now and you couldn't afford to waste anytime. You fired again and again until pulling the trigger did nothing, your clip empty.

Your back was pressed against the table, you had nowhere to run and no way to fight off this giant. Your death was imminent, this was going to be the end and Steve… Steve would never know that you loved him.

Your eyes squeezed tight as you forced yourself to imagine Steve, of how he had looked last night, his voice whispering that he loved you into your ear. If you were going to die you wanted your last memory to be a happy one.

A soft whoosh flew past your head before you heard a tremendous crash and the sound of broken glass. Your eyes peaked open just in time to see Vision as he hurled out the broken window after the giant, fighting as they fell down to the field.

Relief like none other that you had ever felt flowed through and you made a silent promise that you would tell Steve how you felt if you both made it out of here alive.

Steve’s heart sank when a whisper of red flew past him. Wanda was on the field. He had told her not to leave Vision’s side until the stone was destroyed. She had promised him that she would protect his girl. With the way things were going, Steve worried that his girl would have to end up using the gun he had given her. He just hoped she was a natural shot.

His heart sank again when Sam’s voice called out through his comms. ‘Guys, we’ve got a Vision problem.’ Steve ran through the battle, trying desperately to get to the trees where he had seen Vision land.

The trees blurred as he rushed past them and he felt sure his blood pressure was at an all time high. They couldn’t afford to fail now. He couldn’t afford to fail, not when he was just on the verge of getting everything he had ever wanted.

He watched as Vision got stabbed through the chest, his form flickering as it glitched and Steve forced himself to run faster. He tackled the one that had stabbed Vision, calling out as he pushed himself off the ground. ‘Get out of here!’ He ducked a swing from the man, throwing one of his own back. ‘Go!’ He yelled at Vision when he saw that he had not moved from the tree he was leaning on.

His brief glance back had cost him as suddenly Steve felt himself airborne, his body crashing into a tree log before falling back to the ground. Before he had time to recover the alien was on top of him, it’s hands wrapped around his throat in a vice like grip. His arms were pinned and he struggled to escape, he struggled to breathe.

Black spots started to dance along his vision and Steve could feel his energy fade. He knew he had gotten out alive from far worse situations but lying here in the middle of a Wakandan forest, he feared this time he wouldn’t be so lucky. As his vision faded to black, it was your face he saw behind his closed lids. It was from last night when you had looked so serene, so much like a goddess sitting on top of him. With his last few dregs of remaining strength he forced himself to continue fighting, for his future, for you.

Suddenly he could breathe again, the creature that had been pinning him down now seemed to be floating but as his vision cleared, Steve realised it was Vision. He had stabbed the creature and tossed its body away. Vision staggered where he stood and Steve hastily got to his feet, slinging an arm around his teammate.

‘I thought I told you to go.’ His voice was hoarse and his throat stung as he spoke.

‘We don’t trade lives Captain.’ Steve smiled briefly before he noticed the odd sense of calm that had settled over the forest.

‘Guys, we have incoming.’ Steve didn’t have to be able to see anything to know that something big was coming. He could just sense it in his gut.

Thankfully most of the team was around him, preparing to fight with him when they saw the big cloud of grey smoke. Blue sparks crackled as the cloud grew larger and larger until a vague man shaped silhouette stood out against the grey.

‘That’s him’ Steve didn’t need Bruce’s voice in his ear to confirm his suspicions. This was Thanos.

‘Eyes up, stay sharp.’ It wasn’t much of a pep talk but it was the best he could offer right now and following Bruce’s lead, he charged the purple giant. Steve watched in horror as Thanos easily lifted the hulk iron man suit over his head, throwing it against the rocks where it seemed to be swallowed by the limestone.

He barely got within two meters of Thanos before he felt his body being lifted and thrown away, hitting his head as he landed. He watched as Sam landed nearby, his wings out of commission and as Natasha was trapped seemingly by the ground.

A glare of red in his peripheries told him that their efforts had been in vain. They were out of time and the stone had to be destroyed now. Groggily, he got back to his feet, racing to where Thanos was making his way towards Wanda. He had to stop him.

He ducked this way and that as Thanos threw punches and surprisingly managed to land a few of his own. He had realised that Thanos’ power seemed to come from the gauntlet he wore and so at his first chance, Steve grabbed the golden glove. He had to use two hands to keep his fist from closing and a yell escaped his lips from the strain. He knew he couldn’t hold him off forever but he had to at least try to give Wanda enough time.

Suddenly his body was jolted forward as Thanos pulled his arm back, his other landing a clean blow to the side of Steve’s head. The last thing he saw was Thanos moving determinedly towards Wanda and Vision before the world went black.

When he awoke he saw Thor standing before Thanos, his axe buried deep in his chest before a cloud of smoke engulfed his giant body and he vanished.

‘Where’d he go?’ Steve’s eyes darted around the forest, half expecting the purple giant to come out from behind one of the trees. ‘Thor?’ His breaths were coming heavy and his head pounded. He was sure a couple of his ribs were broken but there were more pressing issues. ‘Where’d he go?!’ Still, he got no response from the god, his eyes staring distantly at where his axe lay on the ground.

‘Steve?’ He barely had a chance to register what he was seeing before it was over. Bucky was walking towards him, his body fading to dust before finally disappearing, his gun clattering to the ground.

‘Bucky?’ He rushed to where his best friend had been and where there was now just a pile of dust. His finger ran through the dust, his eyes looking back up at Thor, the realisation that they had failed finally starting to sink in.

‘We lost. He did it.’ Steve’s legs seemed to give out from under him, his whole body was trembling. Bucky… he had just gotten him back and now he was gone again. It wasn’t fair, it couldn’t be happening.

He distantly heard the voices of his team over the comms as they scrambled to figure out who was still alive. It was only when Okoye pointed out that she hadn’t heard from Shuri that Steve’s head snapped up.

Before he could even blink he was back on his feet, the forest rushing past him as he raced to the palace. Nothing seemed to matter as he ran, not his pounding headache or the cut in his side that was seeping with blood. Nothing mattered but you. He couldn’t lose you too. Not now, not ever.

Please don’t hate me

Tags will be added in a reblog

XVI. The Endgame

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

#steve rogers #steve x reader #steve x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel #mcu #honeyhan writes #captain america #say thank you

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captainshazamerica · 3 years ago

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dude I have no chill when it comes to asks 😅

5. Fav character(s)?

15. Dark trinity or trinity?

17. Teen titans or Young Justice?

18. Fav animated show and/ or movie? (BTAS is supreme to me lol)

22. Fav Robin! ( this is so hard but also not I feel like dick gets it just cuz he was the first )

31. Do you like the character of the joker?

38. Who do you think is the most over looked and under used character?

51. Justice League or League of Assassins or Justice League Dark?

🎪I haven't started wayne fam adventures yet but it looks sooo good and is everyone there!? It seems like everyone's there just from what I've saw on tumblr but I don't remember seeing steph? Please say alfred is there!?

random side note just cuz you like jonny there's DC fear state coming out over fall and scarecrow is the main villian messing s*it up in Gotham and the batfam, I ain't gonna be reading that for a while tho cuz I've put a cap on comic purchasing because I'm making myself broke 😅 but it looks quite cool tbh

Dude I love that you have no chill with the asks omg xD Its so great, I get so excited when I see you do it hahaha

2. Do you like the arrowverse if so what's your fav show? (Mines flash but legends is so so chaotically lit it's a dumpster fire of awesomeness highly recommend that even tho they did my fav kinda dirty they had no need to do that to her but hey) Same, my fav is Flash, tho Im not caught up at all/havent caught up since like mid to late season 4, I got too busy during college and I was kinda getting bored with it, but now that Bart is in it, it makes me wanna watch it again! It was also before I got super into DC so Im sure Id love it even more now. I actually havent fully seen the others, just some episodes here and there and the Crisis crossovers! LoT looks like a chaotic lovable mess though, Ive heard that several times xD Who is your fav that they did dirty?

5. Fav character(s)? I mean its me so I can never chose just one xD Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Gar Logan/Beast Boy, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Edward Nygma/Riddler are my all time favs!

15. Dark trinity or trinity? Dark trinity as in the 2nd Red Hood and the Outlaws? (Jason, Bizarro and Artemis ) Then def dark trinity haha, I love those 3 misfits so much omg

17. Teen titans or Young Justice? AHH this is soooo hard omg. Like the shows or comics or groups in general?! Like imma go with Young Justice show but Teen Titans overall. They overlap though soo

18. Fav animated show and/ or movie? (BTAS is supreme to me lol) Ahh I actually seen all of BTAS! Ive just seen the first couple episodes and seen random ones here and there but like know everything about it xD Hmmm, for show I gotta go with the Young Justice cartoon, and animated DC movie, a tie between Justice League vs. Teen Titans and Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (the Damirae ahhhh). Though oooh also Under the Red Hood is also a classic and Jasonnnn

22. Fav Robin! ( this is so hard but also not I feel like dick gets it just cuz he was the first ) Ahaha I knew you would say Dick!!!! xD I was gonna ask and be like, its Dick isnt it xD This is like the hardest question ever oh my goodness. While they have all been my fav at point point, Jason and Tim have like been tied for first for the last couple of months. Like I love them both so freaking much. But if I absoltly HAD to chose one, ahhhhh, im going to have to go with Jason, Im so sorry Tim D: But Jason's character is just so complex in every version and his comics are sooo good(tho I love Tim's Red Robin ones too) his arc as a character is just SO interesting to me and his constant battle with himself and how far he fell from being robin and its all so sad but makes such a good character ahhhh

31. Do you like the character of the joker? Ahaha, this one is hard/I have mixed feelings. I have always liked him as villain even before my Batman obsession (and of course use to say he was my fav dc villain hahaha) and tbh I still think he is a pretty darn good villain and there is a reason he is so popular, even though he is an abusive piece of poop. Id like him a LOT more if he didnt abuse Harley so much tbh. And I think DC over uses him waaaaayyy too much, though I do like every version of him, excluding Leto's version, and think the acting is always amazing. So yeah, I guess I do like him but he isn't my fav, but I can appreciate him and his pop culture impact and how good he is as a truly evil unhinged villain who is interesting to watch.

38. Who do you think is the most over looked and under used character? TIM DRAKE!!!!!!!! And Riddler!!!!!!!!!!!

51. Justice League or League of Assassins or Justice League Dark? Gotta go with the classic justice league man

And ahhhh yes you have to read Wayne Family Adventure, its pretty much literal perfection. Here is the official link if you need it! https://www.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/batman-wayne-family-adventures/list?title_no=3180&page=1 It comes out every thursday! (tho you can pay to read ahead a few weeks) But yes, Steph is in it too! Her and Tim were being the disasters they are <3 And yes, Alfred is freaking great in it omgggg, you will love him in the 2nd one ahhh

Oooooh, I didnt know that!!!!(its soo hard to keep up with dc comics omgggg) I thought I heard something about that the other day but didnt know what it was/anything about it! Thanks so much for telling me!! I hope they release it digitally on DC Infinite!!!! Cause sameeee

#batanon #i love them #thank you so much love #dc asks #ask game #meredith gets an ask #ask #anon #meredith thoughts #batman

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writingstruggles · 4 years ago

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Ben Solo/Kylo Ren: a character analysis

OK, first things first: THIS ISN’T A STAN OR ANTI POST. This is a character study, and if you can’t handle this character getting impartial concrit, just don’t read. If, however, you don’t agree with some of the points I’m going to make and want to have a healthy discussion about it, then I’m all ears. I don’t think my opinion is the only valid one, so feel free to try and change my mind.

And second things second: I tried so hard to love the sequel trilogy, but when it became clear after TROS that the studio had no plan other than making money, it became very difficult. I’m aware that the main problem for all the characters is the lack of general planing in this whole mess of trilogy, so keep this always in mind while reading this post: the first problem of this character was that the studio didn’t even know what to do with him.

1. Does Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren make sense?

I checked the comics to get his background better. He had a happy childhood traveling a lot with Han and Leia, but when she discovered about the First Order, she sent him to train with Luke while Han and Chewie ran undercover missions for her. This is important: up to this point, he had a good relationship with his family, even if he was already being pulled by the dark side of the Force. It was during his adolescence that he started to be really seduced by Snoke, hearing the voice he thought belonged to Darth Vader. After the Luke incident, he did explode the cabin and thought he had killed his uncle, but he was not the one who killed all the other students and destroyed the temple: that was Snoke’s thing. He did kill some of his fellow Jedi apprentices later on, though. So, his turning points were Luke’s treason and Snoke’s coordinated abduction. And I would like to point out: the Sith training involves torture and brainwashing, so the first wrong impression I would like to correct about this character is that he was not simply a dick and revolted teen who ran away to join a cult.

BUT, there are some huge problems here. The first one is that when you watch the movies, you don’t learn anything about that aside from Luke’s part. In the way he’s presented in TFA, he’s Leia and Han’s son who betrayed his family, destroyed his uncles’ dream and joined the dark side for no reason. OF COURSE half of the audience wouldn’t like him. That wouldn’t be a problem if they just wanted him to be a villain like Darth Vader was, but it’s very clear that there was a plan (at least for one director) to make him a supposedly redeemable character. And how can we sympathize with his character like that? Even after we get to know what Luke almost did, the next question is simple: ok, so why he didn’t go back to Han and Leia?

And here is the second huge problem: we learned that after Ben leaves Yavin IV, Luke vanished, and Han and Leia broke up and went back to smuggling/leading a rebellion. And I can’t stress this enough, this doesn’t make any sense. The sequel trilogy killed Luke, Han, and Leia’s characters. These three characters that we have known for years would never, ever, had abandoned Ben Solo. Leia F*cking Organa and Han shot-first Solo would have brought their son back or die trying. Luke Skywalker is not a coward, he wouldn’t go into hiding and abandoned his only sister to clean up his mess during another war, let alone close himself to the Force, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to feel if she was in danger. Just remember Han risking his life to save Luke in Hoth; or Leia leaving the rebellion to rescue Han from Jabba; or Luke straight-up disobeying ghost Obi-Wan and ghost Yoda to save Han and Leia, even if that costed the war. They were older and different, for sure, but we are talking about the quintessential things, the things that make these beloved characters themselves.

(THIS ^^. This right here is the spirit of Star Wars)

So no, in the way it was done in the movies, Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren doesn’t make sense to the audience, and that’s a huge problem. A friend of mine suggested once that instead of being a rip-off of ANH, TFA should have been a movie about the beginning of the First Order (because after we defeat the Empire on episode VI, episode VII starting with ANOTHER all-powerful evil government already dominating the galaxy and exploding planets just throws away all the previous movies’ efforts) and about how Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren. Just imagine if Rey, Finn and Poe had interacted with Ben Solo before he becomes evil: the stakes would have been so much higher, and it could have been well done. It would have made this character more human and likable.

2. Kylo Ren’s motivations: what does he want?

If the OT was about hope, I think we can agree that the ST’s themes are legacy and belonging. Having their protagonists, Rey and Ben/Kylo representing two apposite sides of those things was one of the best ideas for the new saga. Rey looks for belonging in the past she doesn’t know, while Kylo wants to abandon Ben Solo’s past and find his place in his future as Kylo Ren.

In that sense, his character arc was somehow solid. In TFA, it’s clear he’s still struggling with the dark side and feels the temptation of the light: he loses control easily, and he’s not doing anything unless Snoke orders him to. Ok, but why? Why is he clinging to Darth Vader’s ideals and staying in the sith path? Basically because he thinks it’s too late, and he has no other options. Which brings us back to the problem with Han and Leia: his parents didn’t go after him, they chose to go back to their old lives – of course he would think there’s no going back for him now. “But he is an adult man and could make his own decisions.” It’s a fair point, but again: sith training corrupts you and even if he had escaped, the only thing that would happen would be Snoke finding him again. It’s kinda like leaving an addiction: you supposedly can do it by yourself, but it is so much easier if you have help. Not a simple promise or offer, but actual, constant, and present help. I can not stress this enough, but I insist that one of the main problems with the sequel trilogy was not explaining in a satisfactory way HOW and WHY he turned to the dark side and stayed there.

3. Han Solo

Okay, I will admit: maybe my opinion on this specific topic is biased, because Han Solo is my favorite SW character. You may call me out as a fangirl if you don’t agree, but my point is: making Kylo Ren kill Han Solo was a bad idea. They basically killed the character for half of the audience, with zero chance of redemption.

It’s because it’s fratricide. Unless your father is Satan, the Emperor, or someone as equally villainous, fratricide is just that bad. It’s not easy to redeem a character who commits murder, but one that kills his own father? Who happens to be one of the good guys? And one of the most iconic and beloved characters in the franchise? There were other options to give Kylo Ren a tipping point, a conflicted moment that didn’t involve killing Han Solo. But they did, and he killed him. And now he’s no longer a villain we can sympathize with: now we think he’s a monster.

4. His interactions with Rey in TLJ

(I’m not wearing shipper goggles for this. I don’t even own shipper goggles when we are talking about Star Wars.)

Kylo Ren is conflicted after killing Han Solo, (and I will make a small pause here to reinforce how good Adam Driver’s acting was. He’s the only responsible for all the likable parts of Kylo Ren, especially in this movie). Kylo is once again unstable and Snoke is displeased with him, and for a moment we think he finally turned completely to the dark side, until he pauses before shooting Leia’s ship.

The force bond was the most interesting part of the movie. I don’t agree that he used it to manipulate Rey: if anything, he was completely harsh and blunt and kind of a dick to her, but he didn’t lie. He told her things how he saw it, with so much conviction that she started to see his side of the story. And since she was probably the first person in years that actually listened to him, his decision of murdering Snoke and inviting her to join the dark side makes very much sense.

We are talking about motivations and his are simple: let the past die, forge a new path. When he kills Snoke and no longer has a master, he only has one option: to become the master. That’s why he takes over the FO, and wants Rey to be his apprentice. Does the character suffer from sith-tunnel-vision? Definitely. But it makes sense. His decision-making is not overly complicated: he feels alone, and he wants a purpose: he decides that the solution for both is Rey joining him in the dark side. When she refuses, he still has one purpose: the FO.

This is, however, the point where he turns his back to the light completely: on Crait, he orders the FO to explode the Rebel Base and kill everyone, knowing full well his mother was in there. He orders them to exploded the Falcon out of the sky, once again knowing that Chewie and Rey are on board. When facing Luke, he repeats that he will kill Rey and the rebels. His transition from conflicted sith apprentice to the new villain of the franchise was actually well done.

And exactly because of that, the next topic pisses me off so much.

5. The continuity problem between episodes VIII and IX

Introducing Palpatine here was bad for so many reasons: backtracking Rey’s arc, making us think about Palps’ sex life, insisting on beating a literal dead horse when there were new things to explore, etc etc. And it was also bad for Kylo Ren’ arc. As I said before, the way they finished episode VIII, everything pointed to Kylo becoming the final evil Rey would have to face, and that would have been awesome. We didn’t need Palps, or ANOTHER all-powerful evil army ready to conquer the galaxy with exploding-planets-tech (seriously, is Alderaan a joke to you, Disn*y?).

But, in the third movie, they went back and decided they didn’t want Kylo Ren to be the ultimate villain anymore. They wanted him to be redeemed. And that’s not bad per se, but an actual redemption arc needs to be planned, and I think we can all agree, there was no planning in the sequels. And again, FRATRICIDE. So they introduced an old, more powerful evil to make Kylo Ren less evil and less of a threat in comparison. And evil so definitive, and with such a bullshit connection to Rey, that it makes Kylo reconsider his previous promises of killing the last jedi and going back to the plan of making her turn.

And so, his character spends the movie going after Rey, to tell her the bullshit truth about her parents, to convince her to join him. At least his arc is still somehow solid, because once he’s decided on his path, he doesn’t lose control like in the previous movies, and his body language is more firm and lethal. Which, honestly, thanks Adam Driver, he knew the character way better than the director at this point.

He finally comes back to the light when Leia dies. Although it was rushed, I agree that, at that point, it was literally the only thing that could have made him turn. Rey reminding him that he wouldn’t be alone if he hadn’t chosen the dark side helped, too. It was clear that the moment with Han Solo was supposed to be with Leia, but I’m really glad Harrison Ford agreed to come back to fill in the role for his old friend.

6. Ben Solo

Okay, there’s so much to unpack here. When Ben Solo finally comes out to play, it’s very good. We can finally see some things that explain Kylo Ren better – it’s so obvious how awkward he was in his own body trying to be an evil sith lord when he is clearly a natural disaster. He still suffers from tunnel vision, but at least now it’s Skywalker-do-or-die tunnel vision. It’s like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, and the way his actions scream Han Solo makes me, once again, wish the first movie had been about him, and not the whole “find a map/ Star Killer base was ANOTHER ridiculous idea / I know R2’s alignment is chaotic bastard but COME ON”.

Star Wars has a notorious story with pulling Force powers out of nowhere, and I’m not going to pretend to be an expert in SW lore, so I won’t complain about the dyad thing (and the weird stuff with the light sabers). I honestly liked the concept. There’s a lot I have to say about the final battle against Palpatine, but I think it would fit better in a future character study about Rey (God, that’s going to be another long ass post). I just want to add that after Luke insisted on her taking both light sabers to Exegol, and after all the crazy stuff Ben did to get to her, they should have, you know, actually fought side by side against 85% dead Palpatine? Aren’t these two idiots supposed to be stronger than that?? I’m not complaining about Rey bringing him down “alone” since she is the protagonist yada yada, I just wished that Ben had done something, instead of being thrown into a hole.

(Palps did that out of spite because of his grandfather? I bet he did.)

I won’t say I didn’t cry hearing the voices of the past jedi talking to Rey, because I definitely did. If anything, it was great to see so many beloved actors getting a chance to honor such iconic characters. But are you freaking shitting on us? Where were ANY of those assholes when Luke, Leia and Ben needed them, like, ten years ago?? “Well, force ghosts should not be used as ex machinas, and they don’t see the future” Tell that to episodes IV, V and VI. Anakin, Obi Wan and Yoda can show up for Vader weird funeral/party with ewoks but they can’t send a jedi signal for the Skywalkers to warn them about Sith bullshit about to happen? “They were probably ahead in the world the comes next and they didn’t have a way to come back, they just talked to Rey because Exegol is a Force nexus and-” And so is Ach-To. And so is Yavin IV. And so is Dagoba (Yes, Snoke sent Ben there for training). Look, I have no problems with Force Ghosts, I love them bastards. I’m just so freaking mad with the lack of coherence in this trilogy. If they did not talk to the Skywalkers – and I’m sure at least Luke and Ben asked Obi Wan/Anakin to show themselves A LOT – they should not have talked to Rey. It was a crowd please moment, for sure, but it was another gigantic middle finger to Ben Solo (before he becomes Kylo Ren).

And then Rey died, and Ben brings her back. I know how many funny jokes are going around in the fandom about how resurrecting Qui-Gon or Padme would have saved the galaxy so much trouble, but again, I’m okay with that. It was previously established that since they were a dyad, they had this living Force between them (although it was rushed in the final like everything else). And it does make sense Ben doing that: he had just come back to the light, and his parents were both dead. Han and Leia were gone because of him, the last time he saw Chewie was as his captor, and before that, he got shot by him, etc, you get the idea. He had nothing else, only this: the chance to make it right by a person that genuinely cared for him. Exchanging his life for Rey’s was nothing: he knew that his family would be waiting for him in the world that comes after.

So, did I like the Bendemption? It. Was. Not. A. Redemption. It was the right choice, and it made things right between him and Rey, because she forgave him for everything. But that’s it. He did not face the consequence of any of his previous actions. “But he died for her!” And we just established that it was not a difficult choice, considering that he had literally no reasons to stay alive if Rey was dead. If you want to see an actual redemption arc, go watch Avatar the Legend of Aang.

And finally, the kiss and the death. Okay, I know I’m digging my own grave by addressing that, but my mama raised no coward. Here it goes: it was fan service, pure and simple. It’s there to make part of the fanbase happy. Good for you, reylos, but to us, not shippers, it came out of nowhere. And I’m not questioning if they had feelings for each other or not: I’m talking about pacing and characterization. I’m not 100% convinced that Rey, as a character, as she was presented to us so far, would have done that. It felt out of place, and it broke the immersion of the scene. I was emotionally invested on what was going on, I was happy to see Ben smiling at her and everything, but then suddenly they were sucking faces and the “FAN SERVICE” alarm was so loud in my mind that I immediately lost interest. If they wanted that in the movie so much, there was probably a better way to do that.

It makes sense that Ben had to die to bring Rey back: one life for another and everything. I still think that, story-wise, it would have been better if none of them had died a ridiculous death, and Ben had faced the consequences of his actions as Kylo Ren, but okay, moving on. The main problem here is what happens after he dies: nothing. Absolute-effing-nothing. He dies, he disappears – which, again, I won’t question because Leia was involved and Skywalkers do whatever they want with the Force and I’m no expert – but that’s it. Rey, the same Rey that had just jumped his bones fifteen seconds earlier, doesn’t even mourn him. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t do anything for him in the end, she just goes to Tattooine because it makes sense to the Skywalker saga to end where it started. She sees more of those Force Ghosts who never appear when they freaking should and that’s it.

Why is it bad? Well, first, like it or not, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren was one of the main characters and he deserved an actual final. Finn and Poe too, but those are long posts for another day. And second, it makes the fan-service in that kiss scene more evident. You can’t have the girl kiss him and in the next scene act like it didn’t matter at all. “Ok, then it was a thank-you kiss and there were no real feelings of loved involved”. But that makes it worse, it would be even more completely out of character for Rey – who avoids physical contact with people on the regular – to just kiss someone as a thank-you. Do you see how the math does not compute? If she had feelings for him, and therefore kissed him, she should have mourned him. If anything, she should at least miss her other part of the dyad thing. And if she didn’t mourn him because she didn’t have actual feelings, then she should not have kissed him. A little consistency, it’s all I’m asking.

7. Conclusions (aka tl;dr)

He was a somehow consistent character, but the lack of plot for the sequels was a huge problem. If the trilogy had been about Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren – Kylo Ren kills Snoke and becomes the real villain – Rey faces Kylo Ren and she either saves him or kills him, it would have been so much better than the mess the studio did.

His story in the comics is so much more complex than what it is shown in the movies, but what they did to Han, Leia and Luke was a crime.

It was clear that one director had a vision to give him a redemption, and the other to make him the ultimate villain.

Adam Driver did what he could to make this character solid and somehow likable, let’s thank him for that.

There was no reason to bring Palps back,

Rey’s actions in the final are contradictory,

He should have stayed alive to face the consequences of his actions,

and the studio is charged guilt for getting our hopes up just to crush them with their lack of interest in doing something descent for the fans.

But again, that’s just my analysis of this character. Feel free to disagree with me, I would love to see what other people think about Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

#character study #ben solo #kylo ren #star wars the sequel trilogy #adam driver #bendemption #star wars #long post #I got mad halfway and you can tell #rey #han solo #I blame the studio #mostly

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years ago

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Peace Like a River Part 10

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.4K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @ixchel-9275, @sincerelygmg, @lv7867, @unicorn-princess-1999, @delilahmay39, @chlobo6, @dragon-out-of-water, @radio-hoo-ha If you’d like to be added let me know!

A/N: Alright!! This is more of a set for the coming chapter, but still lots of great stuff! We meet Y/N’s new assistant and find out what happened between Stacy and Henry! Also, Gwilym is maybe catching on!!!! Y’all enjoy :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

Part 10 here we go!!!

You read his letter over and over again. The whole trip home to Los Angeles, you pondered how to respond. What should you say? Should you come clean in the letters? Would he believe you if he did? Then, there was the matter of his confession and what he said.

Dear Friend. I’m afraid our correspondence must soon come to an end. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but I’ve met someone. As much as I’ve cherished getting to know you, and connecting with you over our shared interests, the person I’ve come to love is now in front of me. I always could picture a life with you. But she is the one person I cannot imagine my life without.

That being said, my invitation to meet still stands. I’d like for both of us to have some closure, so we won’t spend our whole lives wondering. If you’d prefer to let things lie, that would be alright, too, but I hope you’ll agree with me and have a proper conclusion. Let me know what you decide. Sincerely, Dear Friend.

Your mind raced with everything you had to consider. The time to come clean was upon you. When and where to do it appropriately was the only question left to answer. You knew Gwilym loved you. It was right there in black and white. Crystal clear. That made you so happy you could burst into song and dance. But, a fresh wave of guilt came with the demise of his relationship to Dear Friend.

He told you he was in love with her. Did any of those feelings still linger? How much did he still care? Enough to still want to meet, that was for sure. But he was also willing to just let it go. For you.

Part of you was a little offended. Could he really not even entertain the idea that you were the same person? He told you how alike you and Dear Friend were - which was obvious to you - but had it even crossed his mind? You had to talk to him and find out where his head was at and what he hoped for from all of this.

The only problem was that when you got back to LA, you were busy. You were shopping for Violet’s Christmas gifts, interviewing for a new assistant, your agent was hounding you about a film role she liked for you, and you were trying to squeeze in time to even just tell Gwilym you missed him. Texting was okay, but you missed seeing his face and the sound of his voice.

The only person who probably missed him more than you was Violet. She was pretty depressed, despite being excited for Christmas. Usually, she was in bed when you had time to call or FaceTime with Gwilym, so she missed a lot of it. The moments she did get to talk to him were brief, either in the car or over breakfast before your busy day.

You had booked your trip to London already. You’d be flying in on the twenty-first, just days before Christmas, and you’d stay through the New Year. Violet was incredibly excited. So much so, she was literally counting down the days with an Advent calendar. She had asked you to circle the day you were going to see Daddy, and you obliged.

One week before your departure, you interviewed a final candidate for your assistant. It was a man a little younger than you, named Adam, and his resume was impressive. It was all a matter of what you and Violet thought of him. You were conducting interviews at your house, and when the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it.

“Hi!” Adam said brightly, smiling at her. “Are you the one hiring an assistant?”

She giggled. “No, silly, it’s my mommy!”

“Of course!” he said dramatically, gently hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I am silly. You just seemed like such a busy girl.”

You grinned. He was already on the right track.

“Adam?” you said, coming to the door.

“Miss Y/L/N?” he returned, extending his hand.

“Y/N,” you told him, shaking it. “Come in, please.”

He followed you into the kitchen, Violet on your heels. She took to Adam quickly, whereas the others seemed sort of put out by her. It was refreshing.

“So, tell me why you left your most recent job,” you said as you took a seat across from him at the table.

“Things weren’t working out with her,” he said.

“Can I ask why?” you wondered.

He took a deep breath. “I might as well tell you so I don’t run into a similar issue. I have a boyfriend. I just came out earlier this year, and she didn’t agree with my ‘lifestyle.’”

You frowned. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

He shrugged, but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that told you it bothered him more than he was letting on.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” you said. “But just so you know, it makes no difference to me.”

He forced a smile. “That’s a relief.”

“So tell me about your strengths as an assistant,” you said.

He immediately straightened up and grew more positive. He was an impressive person, and throughout, he was considerate of both you and Violet. You allowed her to ask questions too, only they tended to pertain to things like if he liked chocolate, and if he did, whether or not he would share with her on the occasions that he had any. He assured her that he would.

“Well, I believe those are all my questions,” you said with a chuckle. “Anything else from you, Vi?”

“Will he come with us to see Daddy?” she wondered.

“Daddy?” Adam questioned.

“My boyfriend,” you said. “He lives in London and we’re going there next week for Christmas.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Sweetie, Adam probably has his own family he wants to see during the holiday,” you explained to your daughter.

“Actually,” he said. “My boyfriend is traveling with his family, and I don’t really speak to mine….” he trailed off.

“Oh, you’d really like to come?” you wondered. “But it’s Christmas, you shouldn’t have to work.”

“I’d love it actually,” he said. “I hate the idea of spending another one by myself.”

You smiled. “Alright. I’ll get you a ticket.”

“And I’ve already got a passport,” he returned with a smirk.

That afternoon, you got a call as you were starting on dinner. You were shocked at the name on the caller ID. It was Stacy. Curious, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” she said, and you could hear that she had been crying.

“Stacy,” you returned coolly. “What do you want?”

“Well, um, I just spoke to Henry and he dumped me,” she said. “I was just wondering if you’d talked to him or...well…”

You sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Really?” she pressed. “He didn’t even give a reason, so I thought…”

“You really think he’d start listening to me all of a sudden?” you replied. “If he ended it, it’s because he didn’t feel it anymore or he couldn’t use you anymore. In either scenario, you’re better off, believe me.”

“Alright,” she sniffled. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”

“Goodbye, Stacy,” you said, and hung up.

You were conflicted about how you felt about this new development. You’d resigned yourself to the fact that Stacy would stay with Henry, and you hated the potential harm that could come to her, but you did what you could. The fact that Henry broke up with Stacy despite how the meeting went pissed you off a little. It meant his threat was empty. He was going to leave her anyway. You’d put yourself and your family through that whole ordeal only to find that he was bluffing. He’d used your vulnerability. Of course he had.

Then again, part of you was glad for the confrontation. You no longer feared Henry. Punching him had pretty much rid you of any remaining fear. Gwilym had jokingly named the punch The Defibrillator since you’d struck two spots in the chest at the same time. But in all seriousness, you felt that sense of overcoming your past which had haunted you. Shedding that shadow. That counted for something. You just hated that you’d frightened your daughter and put Gwilym in danger.

You looked out into the living room and watched Adam playing with Violet - she was introducing him to all her stuffed animals - and smiled. The part of your life with Stacy, Henry, and even Dear Friend was done now. You just had to take care of that last bit.

After dinner, you put Violet to bed and Adam offered to help with the dishes in exchange for you feeding him. When you came back down the stairs, you found him at the sink. He had a strangely guilty look on his face.

“What’s up?” you wondered.

“Girl, do you know what year it is?” he returned.

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“You’re still writing letters? In this day in age?”

Your cheeks went pink.

“You saw my letter?!”

“I didn’t snoop or read it!” he insisted. “It was on the counter and I got water on it. It looked important so I dabbed it with a rag and saw it was a real handwritten letter and suddenly it was the early twentieth century.”

“Come on, everyone likes getting mail,” you argued.

“He’s not overseas fighting World War I,” he retorted. “Slide in the DMs like everybody else.”

You rolled your eyes.

“So, it’s your boyfriend you’re writing to?” he asked.

“I thought you said you didn’t read it,” you said.

“Okay, but I have eyes, so I caught a few things,” he shot back. “Are y’all breaking up?”

“No,” you told him. “He doesn’t know he’s writing to me.”

“O...kay…” he began. “We don’t have time to unpack what you just said to me, but luckily, we have a very long plane ride coming up soon.”

You laughed. “Alright, I’ll explain everything then.”

You helped him finish the dishes and then he left. You went to your desk to write back, but then you got another call. This time, the name thrilled you. It was a FaceTime call from Gwilym.

“Hey, baby,” you said as you picked up.

“Hello, love,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Good!” you told him. “I hired a new assistant today.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said. “What are they like?”

“His name is Adam…”

You told him about it and then he caught you up on the goings on in his life as well. When you came to a lull in conversation, you decided to bring up what had been weighing on you.

“So, there’s something we haven’t talked about,” you said. “I forgot about it after everything that’s happened, but it’s important.”

“What is it?” he wondered.

“Are you sure you have time to talk about it?” you asked. “Isn’t it like four in the morning there?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “It’s why I called. Let’s talk about it.”

You took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about...Dear Friend.”

“Oh,” he said, and his face fell. “Yes, I figured you’d have questions. Things with her have not been romantic in nature for some time.”

“How do you feel about that?” you asked.

“It’s sort of sad,” he began. “I feel I sort of lead her on only to disappoint her. In a way, I felt I was being unfaithful. But...I couldn’t help what happened between us. As soon as I knew how I felt about you, I told her.”

“And...are you still writing to her?”

“I wrote to her just before I left New York,” he said. “That’s when I explained everything. In the spirit of honesty, I should tell you I’ve still asked her to meet. I want to have proper closure with her.”

You nodded. He frowned.

“You’re not surprised by that?” he questioned.

You blinked. “Oh! Um, no, I am. Sorry, it’s just a lot to process. Do you...do you still care for her?”

“It’s more of a friendly feeling now,” he said. “Because my feelings for you formed. Although honestly, it began to feel like you two were the same person at times. So I felt really conflicted.”

Tell him! Your mind screamed at you. Tell him now, you coward!

“Funny,” you said weakly.

“Do you want me to call it off?” he asked.

You considered it. You wondered if calling it off would make it easier. But you also didn’t want him to wonder. An idea came to you. You weren’t sure if it was the noblest thing, but damn, it was romantic. And if anyone deserved a little romance, it was Gwilym. Especially after everything he’d endured with you and supported you through.

“No,” you said. “I want you to get what you need out of it.”

“That’s...surprisingly understanding of you,” he said.

“Gwilym, I love you,” you told him. “I only ever want you to be completely happy. If meeting her will help you, then I’m gonna be supportive.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “More than you know.”

“I love you so much,” you said again.

“I love you too,” he replied with a small smile.

“Are you okay?” you wondered.

He looked almost sad. Disappointed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but you could tell something was off.

“Gwil,” you pressed.

“I suppose I’m just...I dunno...a bit sad,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I’ve been writing to this woman for over a year,” he said. “I really...I really thought she was it for me. Happy as I am to have found you, I feel terrible that I’ve hurt her. Or will hurt her. It’s the end of something special.”

You wished you could tell him you were feeling the same way. Even though you knew, it felt sort of bittersweet. All the excitement and mystery would be gone.

“And it sort of makes me feel like the whole thing was just a fantasy,” he said. “That I couldn’t truly love someone without meeting them despite all the ways we connected. It makes me feel so foolish to have believed in it at all.”

Your heart ached for him.

“You’re...you’re not foolish,” you assured him. “You’re a romantic. If it helps, I don’t think what you shared with Dear Friend was just a fantasy. Feelings like that are real and can affect you. You care enough for this person to hurt for her now that it’s over. That’s real.”

He sighed and didn’t answer.

“Besides,” you went on. “Who cares what it means to others as long as you know what you meant to each other?”

His eyes went wide and he gaped at you.

“Y/N -”

You yawned before he could ask the question you’d planted in his mind.

“I’ve got to get some sleep.”

“Hold on - Y/N -!”

“Good night, Gwil!” you chirped. “Love you!”

You waved to him and he sputtered to keep you on the phone, but you hung up, smirking. You wanted to surprise him, but it couldn’t hurt to drop a hint. Giggling to yourself, you began your reply letter.

Dear Friend, you began. I’m not at all surprised by the news you’ve met someone. I’ve had my suspicions since you stopped writing “I love you” before the end of your letters. Let me first say, I completely understand. We can’t control who we fall in love with. I’m happy for you. Second, I also would like real and complete closure. Let’s try to meet again. I promise that I won’t run away this time, no matter what happens or who shows up.

You arranged to meet him on Christmas Eve at eight o’clock in the evening. The place was a park near Gwilym’s home, which you found after some meticulous Googling. You sealed up the envelope and addressed it, one last time. That familiar bittersweet feeling returned. This was the last letter. The end of Dear Friend.

This time, however, you weren’t scared. You had overcome more in the past few weeks than you had ever expected. You were proud of yourself. And you’d found Gwilym’s love amid all of it. It no longer felt uneven. You no longer felt unworthy. Gwilym loved you, and you believed him when he said it. No one could make you feel inferior to him. Not even yourself.

The next day, you went to put the letter in the mailbox just as Adam showed up for work. He laughed as he watched you put the flag up and everything. He got out of his car and you ignored his smug look.

“Letter writing is a lost art,” you said. “Now come inside and help me answer some emails.”

Chuckling, he followed you in. Violet gave a shout of delight at seeing him again.

“Good morning, Mister Adam!” she cried.

“You can just call me Adam, sweetie,” he said. “And good morning.”

“Want some pancakes?” she asked.

He looked at you to be sure there were enough. You nodded.

Well, sure,” he said, sitting down beside her.

You fixed him a plate before joining them with one of your own. Your phone rang and it was Gwilym, FaceTiming again. You answered just as you swallowed a bite of pancake.

“Morning, baby!” you said, leaning closer to Adam and showing Gwilym. “This is Adam, my new assistant!”

“Hello,” Gwilym said politely.

Adam turned his eyes on Gwilym and then choked on his coffee.

“That’s your boyfriend?!” he cried. “That’s a real person?! He’s so handsome!”

Gwilym blushed. “Oh, my, that’s very kind of you.”

“He’s coming with us to London,” you said to Gwil.

“That’s great!” Gwilym said. “Listen, darling, I wanted to ask you something -”

“I wanna talk to him!” Violet whined. “Mommy, let me!”

“Hold on,” you said, looking at Gwil. “Violet wants to say hello.”

He chuckled. “Yes, of course.”

You propped your phone up facing Violet, who beamed.

“Hi, Daddy!” she said.

“Hello, angel!” he returned. “How are you?”

She started jabbering away to him. Adam leaned over to you.

“Goddamn, Y/N!” he whispered. “That’s her dad?”

“Long story,” you said. “But no, her biological father isn’t in the picture. It’s sort of funny she just called him Daddy one day and it stuck.”

Adam glanced at the phone, where you both got a glimpse of Gwilym smiling at Violet.

“Shit, I’d call him Daddy too,” Adam muttered.

You snorted and burst into a fit of giggles.

“Adam!” you scolded playfully. “You’re taken! And so is he!”

“I can look at the menu without ordering!” he argued, laughing.

You enjoyed your breakfast, keeping Gwilym on the phone so it was like he was there with you. You missed him so much. You longed to reach over and take his hand. To feel his warmth and affection.

You could tell he wanted to ask you again about the reference to the letters, but it wasn’t a good time with Violet and Adam there. He was clearly disappointed when you did have to hang up and start with your day.

“Okay, so your first order of business is the movie role your agent has sent you…” Adam checked his laptop. “Four emails about. Literally in the last half hour.”

“Yeah, she’s pushy,” you sighed, picking up the plates to put them in the sink.

“People stop doing that when you answer them, you know,” he returned.

You bit your lip. While it was tempting, the movie would begin shooting in Los Angeles within the year, and you weren’t sure where you’d be. You hoped you’d be in London, where your heart was.

“Turn it down,” you said.

“Are you sure?” he questioned, blinking with surprise. “It’s a big role.”

“I don’t have time,” you said with a shrug. “There are more important things I want to focus on.”

“Alright, I’ll let her know,” he assured you, already typing his message.

You smiled. It felt right. You needed to start thinking about what your future with Gwilym would look like. For you, he was also the one person you couldn’t imagine your life without. And thankfully, you wouldn’t be without him for much longer.

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