#OBVIOUSLY saving solas is the better ending but GOD

[javisfreckles]

I did the ending where you trick Solas with the fake dagger and ohhh boyyy that was satisfying

[iamluzgar]

Okay I have thoughts on Veilguard and why I liked Rook and the whole positivity thing. Hear me out.

Spoilers:

One of the main topics of Veilguard (it has many imo) is the question of leadership (which is connected to the question of identity too). It's a question that is asked through Solas at the beginning as to why Rook should be given information regarding the gods.

None of the reasons are "because I'm special". None of them are "because I killed an Arishok" nor "killed an archdemon" nor "because I was blessed by whatever god you want". The purpose of Rook is that they're a rando, so far away from what heroes look like in Thedas. The only stuff you can answer to Solas is "I'm good against odds" or "there was nobody else to do it" and a third one I haven't picked yet that's probably as underwhelming.

Rook did one good deed Varric saw and was like "uh unpredictable and defending people, neat". Solas has been dealing with politicians/politics/big names all of his life, they are assertive people, leaders in the sense of leading faceless soldiers to war for a cause. Rook is none of that, they're the antithesis of this actually and that's the whole point of Varric choosing them.

What IS a good leader actually? The purpose of Rook as a character was to grow and make players wonder. If we look at how "Varric" treats them during the game, and the options, it becomes kinda obvious that Rook is meant to be unsure/not feeling like they deserve to be there/not in their right place. I saw many criticisms about the game for that, but it is MEANT to be like that. We see other leaders, through Solas, Elgarn'nan, etc etc... Every time we see what they do, what they think regarding their faction, how they treat their people. The whole game explores what the fuck is a leader.

I think Veilguard wanted us players to wonder, if we got into Veilguard tomorrow recruited by Varric etc, who would we be as a leader? I think anyone, and even people with leadership positions IRL, would feel awkward and unsure once in a setting to fight gods, having the weight of the whole world on their shoulders. We weren't meant to play "any" character like we used to in other DA (and even then I'd argue Hawke is always kinda the same dude too but I digress), we were meant to play Rook: the rando who got there by Varric and who is unsure about leadership because wtf is happening. This is an honest characterization, what would genuinely and obviously happen. We'd feel inadequate and useless. But the game doesn't tell you "ah you're shitty for feeling inadequate and useless because you have none of what makes a great war leader", it tells you "okay, you have nothing giving you an advantage against your enemies... You're average. What's the best you can do with what you have?"

How would you deal with the rest of the story, with all the understandable vulnerabilities and insecurities you have? Rook dealt with it by supporting the people they thought were better/adequate/fit the hero box they didn't. Because they do, all of them have something narratively special about them. Rook supported them so they realized themselves as heroes, so that they didn't die in the final fight. Which... All comes back to the positivity thing. I know I would do my pep talk to my team, because that's probably the only thing I'd think I'd be good at, and I know they would certainly need it considering the weight on our shoulders. It is what I do in my daily life in the face of struggles.

Rook is meant to be that. They're meant to be the supportive leader, because they have an absolutely disastrous view of themselves and, as a character, fit none of the boxes meant for Heroes. But in dealing with the hands they had, they made heroes out of special people. And those heroes saved the world. And Heroes could include Solas depending on your ending imo.

Veilguard tells you that's the kind of leader you can be, even if you don't think you're adequate in your life, even if you have vulnerabilities, even if you're facing enemies who have a tremendous advantage over you. You, as an individual, can support the special people around you so that they realize themselves and become heroes, even if you're average yourself.

NGL I can't wait to be in 2034 when people realize Veilguard is actually a great game.

[mythals-whore]

Author Ask Tag:

@thedissonantverses @basedonconjecture

Not you guys making me think deeply about my writing. Is this just an excuse for me to yap and assign meaning to my smutty fanfic??? Love that for me

What is the main lesson of your story?

What a good question, not to be colored with my own general musings on life lately.

There’s a lot to be said for the main theme of Veilguard being about regrets, but i think I’ve leaned a lot into the lonely island man from Varric/Solas DAI banters?

“That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.”

So…basically that. Yes, the world is bad and everything is falling apart and you should try to fix it but you also have to LIVE. It’s scary and sometimes it sucks but you have to Do It Anyway.

If you don’t let yourself experience the love and the good things as they come and you’re always thinking about the end goal, then you miss the good that happens on the way. And the good moments that happen are the reason you’re fighting to save the world at all.

What did you use as inspiration for your world building?

It is Dragon Age fanfic, so Dragon Age. The Veilguard specifically.

My MC is from Tevinter and canonically from a military family so i have done some research on the Roman Empire’s military/also some modern military terms/practices.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them?

I mean the main goal is to stop the elven gods/blight save the world.

But obviously there’s the romance which is more at the center of the story. So i guess ill say that the character arc for my MC is that love (romantic & platonic) can be a source of strength.

Also i think there may be something to be said for learning that you’re worth more than what you do? I would say that my MC has always been fighting/working toward a goal. She’s very job oriented so i think she’s sort of learning that she is a Person and not an entity and that is okay (leaning into the Solas parallel/foil a bit).

How many chapters is your story going to have?

It has like...26 now? and I have at least ten more planned but I'm going to round it out and call it 40. (I am not well)

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Dragon Age Davrook fanfic, it is posted on ao3.

When did you start writing?

I think when I was 13ish?? I was on Quotev back in the day, and I can't lie i think my first was Mortal instruments fanfic?? I haven't written anything in a long time, and i have not posted anything ever?

Small anecdote but i did take a screen writing class in college and my professor had other students read your script to the class. I used to beg to go out in the hall bc the thought of anyone reading my writing was so mortifying (he did not let me go out on the hall but I was allowed to put my head down on the desk which i always did). So this is a big step for me.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?

Write it anyway!

You think you’re bad at it? Write it anyway! (you’ll get better!) You think no one will want to read it? Write it anyway! (they will!) You think you don’t have any unique ideas? Write it anyway! (you do, i promise)

Read books, watch movies, play video games, make playlists for your stories/characters! Find inspiration in other art(: fill your cup, as the saying goes.

ALSO find other writers. They will help inspire you and keep you going when you feel like quitting (:

No pressure tags for: @flowersforthemachines @rook-laidir @thebarghestiest

Only if you feel like yapping about your writing for the group(:

[utilitycaster]

speaking of regrets considerations for a second runthrough:

This time I'm actually doing the fucking puzzles and finding all the chests and mementos and codices and candlehops. It's funny bc I've had a draft in my notes reminding me to talk about why I like the crossroads as a concept. but also once I found everything I needed there I was like GOTTA GO GOTTA DO QUESTS AND STORY so I feel like I can't really write it. I also ended the game with a truly stupid amount of gold I hadn't used because I have zero interest in decorating things and I was good at finding valuables but like, I realized very late in the game that money can be exchanged for mementos. I may be stupid.

Relatedly, pacing out sidequests better; I got locked out of a sidequest and had to complete For The Love of Treviso first and it was kind of silly to go back to the Venatori/Crow couple after like. killing the Butcher. I also did the Solas Regret Sidequest very early.

Related to that, I played Rook as fairly trusting and honest and open in part because I was trying to romance Bellara, who appreciates a very positive and grounded touch, and in part because that sort of All Rook Knows Is 1300+ Necrotic Damage, Throw Her Shield, Hopeless Romanticism, Be Bisexual, And Tell The Truth character emerged eventually. I must admit as someone who leans very...well, Neve's flavor of "I assume this will go badly but deep in my heart despite it all I hope for the best" IRL it was a fun thing to explore, but I also really want to know what the more pragmatic decisions lead to. Again I know that technically I got the happiest ending but like. my heart really does say Dump Him Inquisitor. Anyway. I looked it up and apparently if you turn in the Venatori/Crow couple, the Crows like you more for it, and while the Crows liked me plenty and I don't even know if this happens still in a blighted Treviso, if it does, I'll need all the cred I can get.

Wait does this mean I will do a good job with Mythal all for naught. Much To Think About.

I was not good at checking for eavesdropping conversations early on so I missed almost all of Harding being suspicious of Lucanis, for one.

I ALSO fucked up the wisp conversation with Neve which is funny because again, what emerged later in the game was someone who absolutely would be down for a wisp stakeout. writing this off as "Rook was way too smitten with Bellara at the time to remember her Mourn Watch duties, and Emmrich arriving jolted her back into place there."

Did not realize Hezenkoss was in Emmrich's room until relatively late. Actually, if one of my mutuals (not @-ing anyone bc idk if they're done) hadn't posted about this I wouldn't have found out until the part of the game where you check in with everyone, which would have been EXTREMELY funny in the darkest way. going to find Emmrich standing on his sad moodlit balcony mourning Davrin and getting jump scared by. the skull.

Not a regret, just something I'm excited for: There were a few combinations of companions I rarely brought out either because their abilities didn't dovetail super well (Lucanis + Harding overlapped with my damage types and both had potion-based healing so I rarely brought them out together) or due to lack of healing abilities (I really only would ever bring out one of Davrin, Taash, or Neve; I paired them all pretty frequently with everyone else though) and now that I know which quests are unlikely to straight up murder me without a healer I'll try to do more, plus if I save Minrathous Neve will be one of my healers this time and Lucanis won't. Which is sad because Lucanis and Taash were actually The Best Combo Ever. I literally brought them into every endgame combat except for the ones where I explicitly couldn't because they were occupied with another task, and I still brought Taash for the final Isle of the Gods combat.

Also just something I'm excited for: exploring different options for the endgame; obviously Neve and Lucanis's will by default probably differ but I think Davrin and Taash's might be different as well in a different playthrough. I'm kind of hard to sway on Harding's and impossible on Emmrich's admittedly but Bellara's could go a different way, maybe.

[revoleotion]

Yeah so I will now post oc stuff because. Eh. They will be relevant in the writing I did for an advent calendar!!

And also. For any asks. Wink wink.

Dawn

My beloved. You know him. Ex Chiss sky-walker, now obsessed with a Grysk that was supposed to be his enemy. Gay and trans. Doesn't sleep enough. In bg3, he's also very normal about Emperor (totally normal). In any DND setting, he's a drow wild magic sorcerer but doesn't realize it, so he thinks he's in a warlock pact (he isn't, his Grysk friend just enhances his natural magic and makes it easier to use).

Ellana

My first Inquisitor. In any settings where I use Fen as my Inquisitor, she just worked for the Inquisition. Married to Lace Harding, chaotic as hell, proud lesbian that fucks all her friends (and non-friends) for the connection but feels no attraction to men. Is somehow the least normal about Solas.

Fen

Created to romance Solas, somehow turned something more. Childhood friend of Raven (see guest stars) who went missing at some point and who Fen is convinced was killed. After Raven's transformation, Fen is (at first) incapable of recognizing them and Raven can't tell her. No matter the AU, they reunite eventually, and start being so normal about each other. Fen is actually a fantastic liar, most of all to herself. She isn't even mad about Solas' world ending plans, she just wishes he would've been honest about it (which is in turn also very hypocritical of her because she filed down her entire personality to be more likable). In one AU, she actually dates both Solas and Raven, but all others end with her being bitter towards Solas. After losing her hand, she uses a mage hand instead.

Elxian

[On the right, art done by @angryducktimemachine !! I hope that was ok to put here, otherwise I'll link your posts directly once I figure out how!]

Economics studies alumni and bard. Constantly making jokes. Is as annoying as half-elven-ly possible in order to scare off people who would've left anyways after having enough of her. Deeply insecure but overplays it by being loud and charming. Is terrified of accepting that she is trans because she thinks she doesn't deserve it on account of her privilege and uncaring attitude (that in her eyes "ruined everything"). Janosch also has some more fanart on his account!!! She's. Wife.

Also she's suffering from a curse that she can't ever have sex. I mean other than the BWL student one.

John & Sunny

Part of OG projects, so I will stay vague. Imagine goddess turning someone immortal and having no way to undo it, and guy (now immortal) who's not handling it well. I also mentioned them in Alliance, if anyone remembers!!!

Fleur

An NPC and part of Love's (see guest stars) backstory! Imagine Misono Servamp if he became the God of Spite after escaping his home. Fleur used to be a wizard and was terminally ill, so in order to actually live, he took a shot at being immortal. Has a habit of punching people. Including Mystra and God!Gale.

Elsa-Mathilda Westwater

Author and Devotion Paladin. Thinks the author part is obviously more important. Obsessed with ansurbalduran and is writing the dnd schoete (Schiller/Goethe) equivalent of that. Always looks grumpy but trying her best. Sunny is actually her goddess!

Guest stars

Raven

Where do I even start. Raven is... a Death Cleric. Also, somehow, Withers' weed dealer and his chosen (because of the weed, not the death cleric stuff). In bg3, Withers saved them from transforming into an illithid but in turn hat to craft them a new body (which turned out to be a tiefling). Unfortunately, this resulted in them losing their memory of him.

In any other universes, Withers saved them from another event that killed them. They used to be elven before.

Love

Paladin of Fleur, great ignorer of his own grief and loneliness, and even better liar. Think Snow Lily if Misono became a God somehow.

[driftersong]

Like. Solas is a person, obviously, but he's a person who has a hard time seeing his own personhood, and acting as if he deserves the same people rights as other people. You can't just always be the fainting damsel and expect him to be gentlemanly and protective 100% of the time, you need to be willing to take on his upkeep too.

And a lot of girlies are more interested in the "Dread Wolf" than the "Solas", if that makes sense. They're more interested in his goals, or his morals, or his ethical quandaries, than they are the fact that he's just a scared man most of the time.

He needs the same amount of love and care that the Cullen romancers give him (visible trauma) and just because Solas has invisible trauma doesn't mean it isn't there. He's learning to trust and love kind of for the first time in a very very long time.

So he needs support! And yes he had a breakdown and decided it was best if he just fucked off. That's trauma, baby!!!!! Either you accept him when he comes back, or you weren't ready for all of him!!

And if you weren't ready that's fine, but don't still call yourself his girlfriend if you're playing it as the stilted ex. He doesn't need any more betrayal, not from a woman that he tried to trust once.

Like it sounds like I'm making him out to be a sad meow meow but fr he has Actual Trauma, and he presents Actual Trauma Responses like setting fire to your whole life because you don't know how to handle emotions this strong.

He was planning on KILLING the inquisitor! And the fact that by the end of the story (if you're minimum friends with him) he chooses instead to save you, best he can? He's got a heart under there and it's very fragile. You can't be careless with it.

The amount of girlies who are also just OBSESSED with the "Dread Wolf" part, the loner brooding Geralt-ass ancient mage god who always hurts what he loves and regrets an ancient decision made for the good of the world- fuck it.

He's a really old elf who has Airs and Sensibilities, and he's trying to fix the equivalent of getting the town mayor arrested and then not offering up a new candidate. He's just a mage. He's a damn powerful one, and he's mostly a wolf, but he's a mage before mages. He's not an all-powerful god. He's just a man. You know?

You have to let that image of him go if either of you are going to get better.

[thessalian]

Molly!Rook vs Bullshit Ritual The First

Scene: a bar in Minrathous. Molly Aldwir, Rook to practically everybody, is in a bar, having literally yeeted somebody out of it. Somehow.

Molly!Rook: So ... look, obviously you have a thing going with the Ventaori here, given ... you know ... these guys...

Bartender: Also they gave me money to betray your friend.

Molly!Rook: No, see, we can work with that. Because you have that money whether you betray them by telling me where they are or not, and if you tell me, you get to walk away and spend that money on buying yourself something nice, not ... you know, replacing furniture, scrubbing blood off the floors, picking spleens off the ceiling--

Bartender: ...Spleens on the--?!?

Molly!Rook: Sometimes shit goes boom. It's a thing.

Bartender: You're adorable. Disturbing, but adorable. Try Dumat Plaza.

Molly!Rook: You sent a murder-party to silence someone in a plaza dedicated to your actual god of silence. *golf clap* Bravo. Poetic.

Bartender: These guys are going to kill you anyway, though.

Varric: *appears in doorway, shooting*

Molly!Rook: Or they could opt to not spend the rest of their lives as a colander.

Venatori: *flee*

Varric: A colander?

Molly!Rook: You got a better way of telling people they could end up full of holes, I'd love to hear it.

Varric: Actually, I'm just pissed I didn't think of that one myself.

A little later, after an apparently much-needed drink

Creepy Public Address System Voice: HALT!

Varric: Well, shit.

Molly!Rook: Either I didn't leave anyone who got a look at me conscious, or that's nothing to do with our little bar brawl.

Varric: Our little bar brawl?!?

Molly!Rook: You shot the place full of arrows--!

Veil: *starts developing tears*

Varric: Weeeeeeell, shit.

Molly!Rook: The colander metaphor's looking more appropriate by the minute.

After a run through the streets of Minrathous, we meet...

Harding: You guys okay?

Molly!Rook: Oh, sure. Going to have such a fun postcard to write to Strife. "Hey, former-boss; you thought I was running from the consequences of how I valued lives over legacy? I get to value lives over magical shit again now! More detailed report when I'm not busy saving the world! ...Love and kisses, Molly".

Harding: ..."love and"--?

Molly!Rook: I just write shit like that to keep him on his toes.

Varric: Dumat Plaza! Neve Gallus in trouble! Moving now, please!

Moving: *happens*

Neve Gallus: *is the opposite of in-trouble*

Molly!Rook: Wow. You make enemies like a pro.

Neve: Thanks. ...I think. Just ... Varric, you told me one mage. The power this spell's outputting can't even be matched by a dozen.

Varric: Ancient. Elven. God.

Neve: You mean you weren't exaggerating?

Varric: When have I ever exaggerated?!?

Harding: The Tale of the Champion of Kirkwall.

Molly!Rook: Your entire Hard in Hightown series.

Harding: Your confrontation with your brother.

Molly!Rook: The perils of drinking dwarven ale.

Harding: Cassandra's reaction to your romance serial.

Molly!Rook; Harding: Every time you breathe.

Varric: ...I didn't exaggerate about the Seeker that much...

Neve: Giant magic ritual happening, apparently tearing the Veil asunder, making a mess of my city. Dwarf will fix, yes?

Molly!Rook: Sorry, we're going. In my defense, though, Varric was the one who thought we had time to stop for a pint after I charmed the bartender.

Neve: You what?!?

Varric: No time. Moving now! ...Thanks for that, Rook.

And into Solas' Minrathous base, which...

Molly!Rook: Shiiiiiiny equipment!

Neve: I thought you named her for the chess piece. I'm seeing it as more for the corvid - all the picking up shiny objects.

Harding: Actually, that's a myth.

Neve: So is the Dread Wolf. Your point?

Molly!Rook: Okay, never seen a functioning eluvian before...

Harding; Varric: Wait WUT.

And through the eluvian into...

Molly!Rook; Harding: Arlathan Forest?!?

Neve: I'll ... take your word for it. I'm more concerned about that.

'That': *is a big fuck-off ritual*

Varric: Okay, we hack through these demons, then I try to talk him down.

Harding: He's not going to stop just because an old friend asked nicely!

Molly!Rook: I mean, if he'd really 100% wanted not to be stopped, don't think he'd have left the eluvian open behind him.

Varric: I like the way you think.

Neve: It does have logic, I'll give it that.

Harding: *sigh* Fine, but when that doesn't work, I get to snipe him.

Later...

Harding: He's trashed Bianca, he's still doing whatever stupid nugshit he's doing - can I shoot him now?

Neve: Meant to mention about that - elven god. Don't think those get taken down by single arrows very often. That's if the arrow didn't get destroyed by raw magic on the way.

Harding: Well, we have to do something!

Molly!Rook: Welp, not the first time I've wrecked shit up to save some lives; let's hope it's not the last!

Harding: You're not going alone!

Neve: I'm a mage; I'll go.

Molly!Rook: She's a dwarf. Having someone a bit immune to magic might be nice in there!

Neve: Oh. Fair enough. I'll just ... keep killing demons, then.

Harding: Okay, so now that we're out of earshot, what are we going to do really?

Molly!Rook: Look, sometimes a Veil Jumper uses intricate magic to get something working properly again ... or turn it off ... or whatever. And sometimes? *jams staff into scaffolding* Sometimes you just have to wreck shit up. *yanks on makeshift lever*

Harding: *helps*

Everything: *goes immediately to shit*

Somewhere in the Fade, sometime later:

Solas: Do you have any idea what you just did?

Molly!Rook: I mean ... kinda came out of that with a concussion and worry about how bad you hurt Varric, but mostly I figure, "Stopped your plan".

Solas: Varric ... seems to keep befriending the weirdos.

Molly!Rook: Well, there's a wolf-god he used to hang out with once--

Solas: On that subject, I'm sure you're entirely clear on what you've unleashed on the world, what with your ... oh, whole minutes of experience with those Veil Jumpers--

Molly!Rook: Last I checked, we didn't add "god of sarcasm" to your titles, Fen'harel.

Solas: Look, I decided to use what little blood you left for the blood magic I hate because I wanted you to know that you unleashed two of my former fellows and they're worse than me. That is your problem now.

Molly!Rook: Eh, how bad can it be?

And, on waking

Varric: *is wrecked up pretty bad*

Harding: *is wrecked up not as bad*

Molly!Rook: This ... is not my tent.

Harding: Yeah ... we're in the Fade.

Molly!Rook: ...And we're here physically. Which ... has implications. Especially since you are a dwarf.

Harding: Tell me about it. Or ... maybe ask Neve about it becuase maybe you mages can figure it out while I'm still sore enough not to freak out about it.

Molly!Rook: *exiting, stage WTF* You know, I always kind of wanted some kind of actual real estate, but this is not what I meant!

[arrenkae]

Veil status: guarded

I'll write more about my overall impressions on the game later, but the ending? The ending was great.

(ignore the after-credits scene)

Unless you truly hated this game, it improves the experience by a mile. I still remember how underwhelmed I was by the final boss fight and ending in Inquisition (without Trespasser). Didn't expect such a strong final act from modern Bioware. Was pleasantly surprised. Yes, it's cinematic and flashy and very mass effect-ish, but in all the best ways.

More spoilery stuff:

SUICIDE MISSION! It's such a great way to structure the final mission and I'm glad that Bioware brought it back

But I also love how it makes you go "ah yes the suicide mission, I did all the companion quests so they will be fine" and some of them turn out to be not fine

I was spoiled about Davrin/Harding choice and was prepared to hate it but it kind of works? It's not an obvious "who will die" choice like Virmire, if you weren't spoiled it's kind of an unexpected gut punch

Yes I sent my waifu Harding to her death because Rook needs to suffer and Davrin's arc about finding meaning in life beyond sacrificing himself would be too depressing if he died (also Harding could still possibly survive with her titan powers)

But then I realized that if Harding dies you don't even get the final romance scene? They didn't even get to hold hands??? At first I was mad, but I ended up liking how it went. It was sad and deliciously tragic and possibly more interesting than watching an underwhelming PG sex scene bc otherwise romance in this game is kind of meh

Also if you avoid metagaming it's a nice callback to the beginning of the game: Harding got hurt when she went with Rook, and this time you send her away to keep her safe and she gets killed. BUT!! BACK THEN SHE REGRETTED NOT TAKING THE SHOT AND NOW SHE TOOK THE SHOT see it's like poetry it rhymes

Varric twist was great. Say what you will, I love it. It all makes sense in retrospect, and it makes you retroactively see a lot of things in a different light as well, including Rook. Also I don't think it could be ruined by someone mentioning him? I got an impression that everything related to his death was supressed, Rook straight up has false memories.

Fade prison gave me chills. I love how at this point in the game you start seeing more and more cracks in Rook's cheerful facade, how much insecurity and fear and grief they are hiding without even realizing it. With Harding's death, Rook has to deal with losing two of their closest people, and they still have to push through their grief and save the world. I think the entire final part made me appreciate Rook a lot more as a character, and if I get around to replaying it I'd probably see them in a whole new light.

Boss battles were kind of easy but still fun. Not even mad about not getting to fight the final archdemon, the fight between it and giant wolf Solas made for a nice backdrop and I loved seeing Solas trashed (also not too fond of dragon fights in this game anyway)

LOVE how much of an asshole Solas is, finally living up to his "trickster god" repuation. Love how much of a Solas hater you can be right until the end. Loved having different options on the table, all perfectly valid, without redemption being pushed on you as an obvious "good ending". Tricking him felt so good. GET REKD YOU EGG

Inquisitor was SO obviously there just for the solavellan ending. There's literally no other reason for them to appear. I don't know what was the point in pretending otherwise.

WHATEVER IT TAKES yeah yeah we got that

Morrigan deserved better

Seriously, ignore the after-credits scene

[vael-fire]

Who is Rook? Pt 4 - Kalle Aldwir

Using this questionnaire I made, feel free to grab it yourself. SO MANY SPOILERS BELOW and in that link.

Part 1 (Before The Veilguard)

Part 2 (During The Veilguard // Act 1: Signs and Portents)

Part 3 (During the Veilguard // Act 2: The Price of the Past)

During The Veilguard cont.

Act 3: The Wrath of Ages

Did I mention he's done? Someone hold him, plz.

Were all Rook’s allied factions at maximum strength when they launched their attack on Elgar’nan? Which ones weren’t, and why? Did Rook favor any of them? Their own? Someone else’s?

All except the Shadow Dragons, who were at medium strength… because Minrathous was tanked. Kalle tried to treat them all fairly, though the Veil Jumpers are obviously his home, and parsed out resources and time as best he could between them. 

Each of them ended up meaning something to him in the end, partly because he worked with them all so much and partly because they meant so much to the people he loved.

And, uh, the Crow’s First Talon had his heart, by the end. So there’s that.

Who did Rook choose to support the Veil Jumpers in the final battle dealing with magical wards or protecting others?

Neve had the natural facility and flair with wards, and her ice magic was clutch in protecting bystanders--and yes, Rook too, many times. He sent her to help his Veil Jumpers.

Who did Rook choose to support the Crows and the Lords of Fortune in the final battle fighting mages or attacking by surprise?

Lucanis. It hurt not to have eyes on him on Tearstone, but it was what it was, and Lucanis was the one for the job. Plus, you know, let the First Talon handle the Crows, right?

Who did Rook choose to support the Wardens and the Mourn Watch in the final battle fighting massive enemies and constructs?

Emmrich. Not only were they his people, but after Hezenkoss’s massive construct, Kalle felt sure Emmrich could handle what they threw at him.

Who did Rook choose to take with them for the final battle against Elgar’nan and why?

Somewhere along the line, Taash and Harding became Kalle’s go-to for fighting dragons. The three of them worked so well together there, and then against Ghilin’nain, he kept it going.

Did Rook plan to trick Solas with the fake dagger or did they think they better not risk it?

He absolutely planned to try and trick Solas--assuming they couldn’t talk him down first. As much as he wanted to punch the guy in the face by then, he’d seen what happened when someone got too close to one of these unhinged fake gods. His personal satisfaction had to give way to getting the job done and, you know. Saving the world.

Did Morrigan give you Felassen’s Rune? How did Rook use it?

She did! Rook used it to beat the living fuck out of Elgar’nan, best believe. Super helpful, that!

Did Rook have a lover to talk with before the final battle? How did they feel in that moment?

Hoo boy, he sure did. Kalle was wrecked after he got out of the fade--he didn’t even realize how long he’d been in there. He was super headfucked about Varric, spitting mad about Solas, and generally just felt so much of everything that he was pretty goddamn numb. He checked on his team and then went back to the meditation room to pass out. But couldn’t. He just kept thinking he’d open his eyes and be back in Solas’s prison. He kept wanting to go next door and talk to Varric. He wanted to claw the gods to pieces with his fingernails and he wanted to stay here, in this room, quietly, and ignore the rest of the world forever.

Lucanis found him like that. For the first time, Kalle admitted how overwhelmed and lost he was to someone other than Varric or Solas--because it was Lucanis who was asking. And then he showed that, just as Kalle had learned what went on in Lucanis’s mind at the worst of times, Lucanis had been paying attention to Kalle’s too. When he needed to feel something good, to feel someone good, Lucanis went above and beyond for both of them. And frankly, so did Spite.

The next day, as they headed out to confront Elgar’nan, they made their promises to each other. Kalle that he’d be there for Lucanis any way he could, Lucanis that he’d kill any god if it meant he ended up in Kalle’s arms. For Lucanis to say “I love you” was beyond unexpected--not because Kalle didn’t know it or feel the same, but because Lucanis expressing himself verbally was very, very new. But it sure as fuck was something to fight for. 

After defeating Elgar’nan, how did Rook deal with Solas and the veil? Was it different than they had planned? If so, why and how?

Kalle was absolutely ready to try the bait and switch with the knife, and then to die beating the fuck out of Solas if that failed. 

But then the Inquisitor showed up, and Morrigan brought Mythal to the party, and Solas, to everyone’s surprise, crumbled. He sobbed like a baby as they talked him down, and in spite of everything he’d done to all of them, to the elven people, to the dwarves, to the world, and to Kalle personally… he actually felt for him.

But was so, so goddamn relieved to have him go peacefully and for good.

Hopefully. He’s gone for good, right? Yeah. Totally. 

What did Rook do on the day after saving the world?

He briefly got together with Antoine and Evka to arrange the memorial for Davrin and Assan. Lucanis went with him. Bellara wanted to, but Neve convinced her to rest, considering what she’d gone through the day before was even worse than the rest of them. Everyone else convinced Kalle to rest, and at that point and he couldn't argue.

In the guest house, he and Lucanis opened that bottle of ancient port that Lucanis had been saving to celebrate with Davrin. One by one, the team found them, and they all spent a few hours and a few more bottles of wine telling stories, laughing, crying, reflecting, and celebrating.

Then they went to bed, and Kalle buried his face in Lucanis’s chest. They talked about where they’d go to look for wyverns as soon as they could get away. Then Kalle slept for 20 hours straight. When Lucanis slept, Spite held him just as tight.

Lightning Round - AFTERMATH VERSION

Favorite scent:

Coffee and Spite

Favorite food:

Rivaini Banana Bread, still.

Favorite animal:

Griffons. [Sobbing]

Favorite book or story:

He became a fan of The Randy Dowager Quarterly while in the Lighthouse. Choosing a favorite would be hard, but he and Bellara had a really good chat about “Two Telling Tails”. After his encounters with bears, this one struck Kalle as especially fun.

Favorite drink:

Antivan Port. Sometimes you just need something strong and sweet to balance out all that dark complexity in life.

Favorite item of clothing:

Gloves, sourced from Viago’s impeccable glove-maker, gifted by Lucanis.

Favorite keepsake:

Varric’s shaving mirror. [Sobbing]

Favorite place:

Still the quieter ruins of Arlathan. Always.

Favorite person:

Lucanis. And Spite. They finally got to meet his other favorite person, Henthorn.

Favorite little treat:

That thing Lucanis does with his… well, that’s another fic for another time. Someone else had clearly been reading The Randy Dowager, too.

[luckyjak]

Since the game doesn't really expand on it, here are my headcanons for post-game.

My Rook was a female Lord of Fortune rogue who romanced Emmrich. Worldstate was a female Lavellan who romanced Solas.

(Spoilers, obviously)

After leaving the Lighthouse, Rook returns to find that Solas and Lavellan have claimed it as their home in the Fade. They travel the Fade often, doing their best to try and sooth the Blight. Dreamers see them occasionally, and stories spread of the Dread Wolf and his Hart/Heart mending the Veil and soothing the Blight throughout Thedas. Legends start about the Immortal Lavellan, the woman who changed the Dread Wolf's heart, and in doing so, saved Thedas. She becomes a godlike figure in elven mythology, and many who travel the Fade claim to see her still, helping where she can.

Solas occasionally stops by in Rook's dreams. Mostly to complain about things ("why is my laboratory now a greenhouse?") But Mostly because, in spite of everything, he considers Rook a friend. Rook gives him shit every time she sees him, but ultimately, they are both happy with how things have turned out.

After defeating the Elven Gods, Rook and Emmrich take some time for themselves. They stay in Nevarra for Manfred's studies. Eventually, they make a trip to try and help Southern Thedas recover, and there they meet the most peculiar person: a spirit turned human by the name of Cole. This sparks a wild debate about Manfred (should they try to make him mortal? Should they not? Is he happy as just bones???) But eventually, they decide it is Manfred's decision, and leave it be.

Three months after that, Manfred Laider-Volkarin appears as a 14 year old boy, made of flesh and bone. He has his father's eyes, and his mother's heart.

Bellara Lutare becomes a Grey Warden. While not a choice she would have gone with on her own, it was either that or die of Blight sickness after being possessed by Elghan'nan. She survived her Joining, and primarily serves the Wardens as an elven expert. Mostly, she hangs out and snarks with Antoine.

She and Davrin almost switch places in life, as Davrin, still a Warden, spends most of his time in Arlathan, helping train the newest generation of griffins to help protect the ancient forest.

(Maybe Bellara and Davrin date? I gotta travel with them together more often.)

Archon Dorian Pavus is stressed beyond believe, given the horrendous state Minrathos is in. However, he has help; Neve Gallus, who becomes the voice of her people to the Archon. She uses her detecting skills to find out what the common people of Tevinter actually need, and then reports it to the highest authority (Dorian). The Archon employs a full time Qunari bodyguard by the name of the Iron Bull, and anyone with eyes can see the two are in love. The Shadow Dragons get to reform Tevinter out of it's ashes, and none are more proud than Neve.

That is, when she's not in Antiva with her boyfriend.

Lucanis never wanted to be the First Talon of the Crows, but heavy is the head that bears the crown. Because Neve drags him to the undercities all the time, his rich boy attitude gets humbled, and the Crows are better for it. The Crows stop using slaves as recruits, and no child ends up like Zevran ever again.

The Veil Jumpers live up to their name, and become Eluvian guardians, helping people travel across Thedas with what Eluvians remain. Because of the Eluvians, life prospers after the double blights, with supplies and help getting to the people who need it most quickly and rapidly.

The Lords of Fortune move south to help out in the Free Marches. Their leader, Isabela, cannot stand by while her once home gets decimated, and it's pirates, of all people, who help recover the Marches.

The South survives. King Alistair, a former Grey Warden, uses his knowledge of darkspawn to keep more people alive than the Inquisitor knew. However, Orlais is decimated, and may never be the glory of the Empire it once was. The Divine Victoria moves to Skyhold, her once former home where she served as spymaster, and in the Inquisitor's absence, uses it as chantry stronghold for which Orlais can rebuild.

The reason Redcliffe lasts as the final stronghold is because that is where the Hero of Fereldan, Amell, lives, and it is through her sheer force of will that Redcliffe remains.

King Alistair might not have survived the onslaught, had his life not been saved by the most unexpected source: a young mage named Kieran. If the two happen to bear more than a passing resemblance to one another, well, who's to say?

[moonlight-waning]

There's a push-pull of culpability. It's all a cause-and-effect chain that ends with two blighted gods running rampant in the world.

I don't have any particular attachment to the egg. I love him for his good-evil ambiguity, so I'm not attempting to 'woobify' or gentle him in any way, because I prefer my anti-heroes a little evil. He's more fun when he's a lying sack of shit.

I do think there are some unknowns that we could factor in:

Solas's plan- Does he have one? Does it, in fact, minimize the damage? There's at least one occasion when he tells Rook that he can't wait for them to see the world as it was, which-- to me-- says that Solas intends for Rook to survive whatever is coming next. It stands to reason that he also expects -most- (not all) people to also survive, but we don't know what his expected casualty count is and we don't know what he means when he invites us to see his better world. Would it be better? Would we be as we are? Would we be something else? We don't know what his vision was, because he abjectly refuses to include us in it. There's a non-zero chance that his plan would be better than--

Rook's intervention- Rook interrupts the ritual, throwing the situation into chaos, which directly results-- no matter which details we choose to fixate on-- in the escape of Ghilan'nail and Elgar'nan from their prison. And I do think Rook would blame themself for that. In the weeks/months that follow, the South is basically overrun with Blight to the point where even the Inquisitor's letters become a little grim. They're beating it back by the skin of their teeth, which means that the destruction is likely catastrophic with an incomprehensible loss of life. Fereldon and Orlais? Probably irreparably changed forever of not gone completely. Minrathous or Treviso? No matter which one you choose to save, one of them is also catastrophically altered forever... twice, if you choose to save Treviso. The magisterium is largely destroyed (lol, good tho?) and/or you have to slowly murder a host of familiar NPCs, one of whom survived the inquisition just to end up blighted by the results of Rook's inaction. We don't know what Solas's future would have looked like, so it's easy to rely on the speculative foreshadowing of a man who is a self-proclaimed unreliable narrator. Varric himself tells you in Inquisition that he's prone to exaggerating the truth for the sake of the story. "Demons will overrun the world and kill everyone!" But we don't know what Solas's future would have looked like, so it's easy to paint Rook as the hero and Solas as the villain and call it a day because obviously, Rook never would have had to do what they did if Solas hadn't been doing the ritual. Let us, for a moment, hop on over to a Crow rook returning to a Blighted Treviso where Viago castigates them, telling them to 'stop and think' because they 'always think of something.' In the moment of the ritual, there is no time to stop and think. Rook acts quickly and it is, quite possibly, the wrong choice, but it's the choice they make, so they have to live with it. And whether it was Varric's dwarven blood or the crash-landing of the ritual site or Solas's broken concentration or all of those things put together, they all hopped on this train where one event led to another event, which led to the near-end of the world. And whether Rook is the sole culpable party or not, they still have to fix it. They have to put back together a thing they helped break. In the end, we don't know that what happened was less catastrophic than what could have happened if they'd just let Solas complete the ritual. We only have half the information because the egg is an idiot who refuses to explain himself, but I don't pin either of them as the villain in a classic sense. I think they're just people doing what they think is right. It's history that will tell them who they were.

Just to check we are in agreement that the ritual went wrong because Solas stabbed Varric and not because Rook dropped a statue on him right?? We all saw that everything was "fine" until he did that right???? That the dagger was made to bond with ancient elven blood so it went haywire with Varric's and that's why the tear exploded right??????? We did notice that every time the fade opened in this game was because of the dagger getting in contact with blood RIGHT??

[aly-the-writer]

Thinking about Veilguard and Elgar'nan and...

Well - I don't find him that impressive, but that could very easily have changed, although it'd make the game a bit longer. (And probably ruin the Prison of Regret quest because how many fade-quests can you stuff in one Dragon Age game, really? (Kidding, as long as I don't have to turn into a mouse again I'm pleased. And honestly with the Veil supposedly being such a focus it feels like there should have been more fade-related quests.))

Anyways - during the rescue the Dalish quest in Arlathan, given the impossible odds and how out numbered things were I think that Rook should have failed a bit more.

Like the rest of get out, the elves are rescued, but it comes at the cost of Rook.

Elgar'nan gets to steal the chess piece from Solas - at least for a while. Solas can't interfere right away because that felt cheap. Rook is subjected to the Will of the God of Tyranny and kneels. They fail to resist the first time.

They stand at Elgar'nan's side, his Rook now.

Solas is supposed to be subtle and clever. Rook is saved through that connection's influence by addressing the temptation promised by Elgar'nan and how it's false or how the cost is too high, but only after they have already spilled blood for the elven gods, only after they carry the Blight in their veins (different reactivity for the Warden Rooks, obviously) and it is made silent by Solas who can manipulate it.

It would serve as a better foil for Neve/Bellara and the way they master the Blight through their own convictions alone in the end game sequence too.

It also removes the need for the bullshit choice about which companion to kill on Tearstone. (I personally think that if they'd been fully leveled and Veilguard rank they should survive, but be too injured to fight if the game really wants to remove a companion from the rotation. It's how I plan to do it in my rewrite, cus hopeless regrets should be challenged in the real world. AND it foils to the fact that Mythal still LIVES, injured and different but alive and how Solas can't accept that.)

[arsuledin]

Here’s a couple of things I learned from Tevinter Nights and the short stories (spoilers, I guess, if you still intend to read?):

Solas can now, apparently, kill people in their sleep aside from just turning them to stone.

The last fresco painting was finished by a demon of Regret, born from Solas’ remorse at what he intends to do and the fact he lied to the Inquisition. ( “I was born from the regret of a god—” Callback, page 128. ) Solas originally had an outline of it just being the last battle of Corypheus, but since spirits can’t lie, the spirit reveals a giant looming wolf blended with a dragon, indicating Solas consuming Mytal’s powers.

The people that follow him are ruthless. I was listening to a YouTube video on it, and the things they’re willing to do to support him is pretty insane. The fact that some would rather take a poisonous pill when captured than spill anything about Solas is telling.

The Executors are dangerous enough for Solas to be keeping an eye on them, and also to kill one in the middle of a ‘spy’ meet up. He also killed them before they could share any information they had on him, so I’m assuming it’s some good stuff. Why does he take their staff though??

Solas decreed that any calling forth demons or using spirits will be his to take. I guess binding spirits and such has an adverse effect on his ability to bring down the Veil.

“I have no choice. What I’m doing will save the world, and those like you. The elves who still remain may even find it better when it is done.”  “There are a lot I care for who would not.”  Solas smiles sadly. “I know that feeling well.” ( Ow.)

“I am not a God, Charter. I am prideful, hotheaded, and foolish.”

When asked why he came personally to the meeting of spies, he eventually gives in and says it was because the Inquisition was involved, which I can only assume he literally went out of his way to go just to tell Charter to tell the Inquisitor he’s sorry. Obviously there is more to why he went, but he could’ve just as easily sent someone else in his place.

“Why did you come?”  “Because you told the Inquisitor you were going to destroy the world. Did you expect us not to try and stop you?” “It was a moment of weakness. I told myself it was because you all deserved to know. To live a few years in peace before my ritual’s complete. Before this world ended.” “Then perhaps we are not the only ones you lied to. You do not have to do this.” — I’m assuming that Charter means Solas was lying to himself when he revealed his intentions to the Inquisitor. He says it’s because he wants to warn them, but maybe, deep down, his true hope was to let them know so the Inquisitor can stop him.

[fangsandfeels]

It's not that Rook as a project manager/leader/decision-maker doesn't work or has no value. However, what bothers me is that Rook feels like they literally exist to fulfill that role, but they have no part in the story.

For instance, in DAO Warden ends up with the mission to save Ferelden because there is nobody else. The King is dead, their Grey Warden mentor is dead, everyone is too busy playing politics - and the Warden just happened to survive. However, at the same time, they also have stakes of their own. They all have their reasons to go on, to do all that:

Cousland: "I will find and kill Howe for what he did to my family"

Aeducan: "I will take back my throne from my traitor brother"

Tabris: "If darkspawn reach Denerim, nobody will bother to protect the Alienage, so I must do my best for Shianni and all the people there" // "I will kill every fucking shem in my way and I'm not letting the Blight take it from me"

Mahariel: "I lost my best friend to the taint and I almost died myself. I must make sure my people are safe from it, whatever it takes."

Amell: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else, so I better get used to this Grey Warden thing" // "Fuck yeah! I got my freedom and no templars, no darkspawn will ruin it for me!"

Surana: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else because I am a mage and as an elf I have slim chances of not being harassed in the first place. I really need to make this Grey Warden thing work."

Brosca: "I didn't survive this long just to die here. I will keep climbing out of this pit and nobody will ever look down on me"

These reasons make the Warden more than just a placeholder for team leader - they make the Warden a person with their unique struggles, motivations, and experiences.

In DAI, the Inquisitor is less detailed, but they are put in a unique situation - they have The Thing in their hand and now people think they're the Messiah. Also, the local Pope is dead, there is a gaping hole in the sky and people are losing their shit, and The Thing seems to be the key to dealing with all of that, so the Inquisitor literally has to be the leader.

(Let's ignore the fact that the Inquisitor is also appointed the leader because they can be conveniently turned into a scapegoat for the enraged mob should something go wrong.)

The Inquisitor can be a fierce believer committed to the cause. They can be a reluctant leader and a loud non-believer, but their motivation is clear: I'm dealing with this shit not just because it threatens the world, but also it affected me personally.

Rook, however? They lack that nuance and range. They join Varric behind the scenes for no other reason than "cuz saving our planet is a thing to do!". Moreover, somehow they instantly buy Varric's story that must sound like some tinfoil hat level insanity:

"Alright, so elven gods are real and one of them is hanging around right now and he wants to explode the Veil and drown the word in demons. Wanna join me and stop him? It'll be fun. Yeah, he is literally a god who can kill you in your sleep and you're the only person I've recruited so far, I think our odds are good."

After all, in DAO the darkspawn threat is obvious and very hard to ignore: Mahariel gets the firsthand experience, Aeducan and Brosca' city is literally under constant threat, and the rest of Wardens get a glimpse of what the darkspawn will do to Ferelden in Orzammar. There is no denying the necessity to fight them. But Solas, though? He is subtle. Racism and prejudice against elves play in his favor. The only people who understand the threat are the ones he revealed his secret to.

So, why does Rook join Varric without a shadow of doubt, especially if they aren't even exiled from their faction (more like asked to take a break)? They obviously has a place to return to and things to do, why get yourself involved?

In other words, Rook lacks personal reasons and deeper motivation to go after Solas, which makes them look inauthentic and awkward (even though they're supposed to be capable and skilled) because there is no essence to their interactions.

Moreover, there could be reasons.

Maybe, they lost someone due to Solas' machinations and actions, they realized that there was something mysterious about the tragedy and felt like they were going insane until they crossed paths with Varric who gave them answers.

Maybe they got framed by Solas' spies and lost their place in their faction, their political status, everything - so they literally have no other option but to start beef with a literal god.

Maybe they were one of the slaves freed by Solas' agents but realized that he expects them to die for him now, which rubbed them the wrong way.

It is a compelling reason: to find the mysterious and supposedly powerful being, to be able to thwart its scheming, to ask "Remember me?" right in their face or to demand answers. It's a powerful motivation to keep going, to gather allies and work with people. It would have even made Solas getting stuck in Rook's head more impactful and allowed for more personal and sharper conversations.

In fact, now I think that if Rook got absolutely wrecked due to Solas actions (as a collateral damage) and became a down on their luck depressed mess or a restless seeker of answers putting themselves into dangerous situations, it would have made for a much more interesting protagonist.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[darksunrising]

Sola Gratia (11/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : Graphic descriptions of violence, Viewer discretion is advised (short paragraph)

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 11/? (2247 words)

Author’s notes : The end of the second act draws nigh ! (also, I see some new followers, if you wanna be added to the taglist, feel free to ask !)

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Eris, anyone home ?”

Leah's soft voice dragged me out of the void I'd been staring into for the past... Well, Gods know how long. I raised my head to meet her slightly worried gaze.

“Yeah, sorry. You wouldn't believe how many of those can't make the difference between a century and a millennium, it's appalling.”

She didn't seem that amused at my sorry excuse for a justification.

“Have you seen the bags under your eyes ?”, she reprimanded me in a hushed voice. “How long since you had a decent night of sleep ? You're so pale, you look like a damn vampire.”

I had a dry laugh. She wasn't wrong, to be fair. For the past four days, I barely got any sleep, any noise waking me up in a cold sweat, when I just didn't lay frozen in bed, unable to close my eyes, for hours on end, until the sun got up. Mostly, I only stayed up because of a carefully thought-out blend of coffee and anxiety.

“I'm fine, Leah. I just didn't put on any makeup this morning. That is my face”, I told her, trying to sound offended.

“Don't bullshit me. Go. Home.”

Her tone didn't invite arguing about it. She reached across the table, and took my hand in hers, smiling. She proposed calling me an Uber, but I figured walking would clear my head. I put away my stuff, leaving her to her books.

The library was almost entirely empty at this hour, and the normally automatic lights didn't even turn on as I passed through the halls. I slapped my badge on the door to get it open, and was welcomed by a gush of freezing air from the outside. The sun had only just set, and the orange lamp posts had everything seem grey, except the deep red of the sky, near the horizon. Everything was quiet, save from the intermittent cawing of a crow, or the rustling of leaves, in the light, but biting breeze that had set in with the night.

I started walking. The sound of my boots echoed in the empty campus' streets. At this time, there was about a tram every twenty minutes. If I walked fast, I'd catch the next one. As I started walking faster, I couldn't help but feel followed. That feeling, once it crossed your mind, could only set, seeping into every pore of your being, until you... I turned back. Nothing. Not even a shadow at the corner of a building, a suspiciously flickering light. Nothing. Even so, my chest felt too tight to breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I kept on going toward the tram stop. Focus on that, the tram stop. Breathe in. I stopped, pushing my back against a post. Breathe out. I turned my head, trying to relax my tense muscles. In the corner of my eye, a shadow. I screamed, jumped back.

“I dream of a day where your first reaction to seeing me won't be that of a deer in headlights.”

He stepped in the light, as elegant as always, in his long, dark coat. He looked exceptionally well, about as much as I had to look dreadful. He took a step forward, and I instinctively took one back. He stopped, a look of disbelief painted on his features. He looked almost hurt by me pulling back.

“Is something wrong, Eris ?”, he asked, concerned, but equally demanding.

I tried to find an answer. Yes. Yes, something's wrong. Everything is goddamn fucking wrong.

“I'm gonna miss my tram”, I muttered.

I turned back to the way I was going, and in a second, I felt his hand on my arm stop me. My heart sank to my stomach, and I broke free of his grasp. My heart beat so fast I was almost gasping for air.

“Did something happen while I was gone ?”

“It's just- I don't- Nothing hap-”

My words came stuck in my throat. I didn't even know what to say. Where to start. He placed both his hands on my shoulders, calmly asking me to look up at him.

“You... You are shaking, what on earth... Am I causing this ? Do I scare you ?”

I raised my head to meet his gaze, jaws clenched not to have my teeth chatter. He looked so genuinely confused, I was finally able to take a deep breath.

“Can I trust you ?”, I managed to whisper.

He didn't answer a moment, seeming less ton consider his answer, than what prompted the question.

“Without question.” He was looking straight into my eyes, the intensity of his gaze leaving no place for a lie. Fuck, I wanted to believe him. The weight of his hands on my shoulders made me feel safe. How could it make me feel safe ? Wasn't that just another trick ? Another way to make me trust him, just to make the job easier ?

Tears I didn't notice building up burned my cheeks as they rolled down. He moved a hand to my face, and erased them with his thumb, softly.

“What happened ?”, he asked again.

If we are to stop this creature, we need your full support. For some reason, he trusts you more than most. You cannot tell him about your knowledge of this place.

I gently pulled myself from his grasp, and stepped back, forcing a smile.

“Nothing happened. I'm just tired”, I told him. “I really have to catch my tram, Vlad.”

“Nonsense, I'm bringing you home”, he insisted. “You are very obviously distressed, and lying to me. Get in the car.”

The authoritative tone had me shiver. I knew I didn't have any choice, in the end, and nodded. He opened the door for me, as always. I sat down, buckled up. Focused on the line of led lights, moving in a slow, red wave.

“If you refuse to talk to me”, Vlad began as he started the car, “I can only assume this has something to do with me. Now, understand that I could take a minute and find out, but I meant what I said, when I told you you could trust me.”

He kept focused on the road. I could tell him everything. That would be a risk. If he really was who MINA said he was, if he did... If he did what they said he did... That would most likely be my death warrant. If he started being too suspicious, he could just read my mind, and given how deeply those images were engraved into my brain, it wouldn't be too hard. I had no idea how to go about this.

“I found out the reason why Stephan was putting me off.”

“And that is ?”

“We looked into his family tree, and his mother is a Mary Van Helsing, from the Murray Institute for the Neutralization of Abnormalities.”

I said that on a single breath, and awaited his reaction. His face didn't betray any emotion, but his silence was speaking volumes.

“They found us out pretty fast”, I continued, figuring I was on too deep already. “We were taken to their headquarters, or whatever that bunker was. They were suspicious that I was acquainted with a vampire, posing as the respectable professor Vlad Balaur.”

“And what did you tell them ?”

His tone was frighteningly neutral. “For some reason I still can't explain, nothing”, I replied. “I had them believe I had no idea such things existed, less so that you were one.”

He had a short hum, but remained silent.

“They told me you were posing as a vampire they killed in 1896, Count Dracula, who apparently is quite the messiah in the Vampire World”, I jabbed at him. “That you probably manipulated my memories, my emotions, just so I'd end up like the others !”

Tears were streaming down my face, and despite my best efforts, my voice was shaking in anger. I couldn't help but think he could pull over and snap my neck at any moment. Might as well make the best of my last moments.

“Would you please clarify what you mean by 'the others' ?”

He sounded so calm, so composed. I tried not to think on the implications.

“They showed me the pictures, Vlad.” My chest hurt so bad. I barely was able to keep taking. “In retrospect, you were pretty clean with the horse. I guess he deserved better than human beings do, right ?”

“Eris, I don't understand-”

“Don't fucking lie to me !” My voice broke. I had no way to remain calm, the taste of bile going up my throat. “I saw it, I fucking saw the- the-” I slapped my hand over my mouth, desperately trying to catch my breath.

Vlad had the turning signal on, and pulled over. I couldn't stop crying, my face buried into my hands, unable to form any coherent sentence. The car stopped. He didn't say anything. At any moment, I thought I'd feel his hands around my neck, or his teeth. Instead, he only called out my name, softly, barely audible through my sobbing.

“Eris, please.”

I dried up my face as best I could with my scarf.

“You promised. You promised you wouldn't hurt anybody”, I managed to stammer between hiccups.

“I have not-”

“I saw the pictures !”, I repeated. “They showed me- So much blood-”

I turned my head to his. He slowly raised a hand to my face, hesitantly, waiting for a rebuffal. I did nothing, and he pushed strands of hair off my forehead, and cupped my cheek. His touch was so soothing. Not a bad feeling to die on.

“And you believed them ?”

“I- I- Of course, they just- Who else ?”

“I have no idea”, he admitted, his voice soft, and calm. “Eris, I have not, not a single time, done anything contrary to our agreement. I have not taken a life since our second meeting.”

I wanted to believe him, so bad. I wanted to believe he wasn't the monster responsible for the contents of Mary Van Helsing's case-file.

“How can I believe you ? How can I be certain you're not lying to me ?”, I breathed out, still resting my head onto his hand.

“You can't. You can only trust me.” He leaned in, placing a light kiss on my forehead, as was his habit. He pulled away, keeping close. “Do you trust me ?”

“Yes”, I replied, without thinking about it.

I did. As stupid, dangerously stupid as it was, I did. What else could I do ? What was the better option ? Were the MINA guys that much more trustworthy ? Well, if you took into account the fact that they didn't try to kill me yet, probably.

“As for the fact that I would be my own usurper, I don't know how to argue for it, to be honest. I have rarely been faced with the task of proving my identity.”

He sat back behind the wheel, and started the car.

“You would do well to remember that MINA was founded by people who were so terrified of me, they left without assuring themselves of the success of their mission, which led to accounts of my death being greatly exaggerated.”

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

“There, I like that better.”

The rest of the ride was mostly silent, which was still arguably better than crying. Vlad finally pulled over in front of my building. I got out of the car, took a few steps, but didn't go further than that. Behind me, I head his door open.

“Should I wait for you on your balcony ?”

I took a deep breath. “No.” I turned on my heels to face him. “You're taking the stairs, for once.”

“I... Beg your pardon ?”

“Just follow me, will you ?”

He shut his door, and I went to open my building's door. I buzzed us in, holding the door for him. Guess he didn't need an invitation for the whole building, huh. What the hell was I doing ? There's a difference between not thinking someone does gruesome murders in his spare time, and inviting them over for a cup of tea ! Especially if their drink of choice isn't your damn Russian Earl Grey !

Well, too late to turn back now. I tried to keep a sense of dignity as we climbed the stairs. It didn't seem to put any strain on him, all the while I'd been living here for years, and was still dying inside. Catching my breath as gracefully as I could, I unlocked my door. Zardoz came running at me, agressively rubbing himself agaisnt my boots, screaming bloody murder, or, in that case, famine.

“You have a... cat”, Vlad stated.

I had a short laugh as I picked up the protesting beast. “What, are you allergic ?”

“They... Don't like me.”

He looked at the animal with some sort of defiance.

“Well, this one hates everyone, don't feel like it's personal.”

He stood at the door, nearly taking up all the space of the frame. Holding the cat in my arms gave me courage, as I felt his low purr against my hands. I took a few steps back, and had a curteous bow.

“Voivode Vlad Dracula Tepes, me and this cat welcome you into our home.”

He smiled, and stepped in.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock @thebeautyofdisorder @festering-queen @paracosmfantasy

[drinkyourfuckingmilk]

How would you convince Solas to embrace the new world and move forward? What would be your argument for him?

Ooooh I’ve got so many headcanons of my Lavellan slapping him with some fucking truth, and I can only write this in a way my Lavellan Marlowe would be thinking it; 

1. Solas is not necessarily responsible for what happened to the elves - the evanuris are. The evanuris were obviously unleashing something world-destroying upon Thedas, and Solas says that every alternative plan to stop them was worse, so he was backed into a corner and basically had to create the veil - the result is that elves were worse off than before but the important point here, which Varric reiterates in their banter, is that it cost the elves their dominance over Thedas, but it didn’t cost them their entire race or the entire world. Solas needs to get this through his boiled egged dome - he saved the world, his actions had costs, yes, but what is the better outcome: great cost to the social situation of your people vs the entire world and all life within in it being destroyed? Solas saved the world and the actions he took to do so was because the evanuri’s backed him into a fucking corner.

2. Solas’ actions are essentially the reason all of modern Thedas exists - humans, qunari, dwarves - and elves are still alive when it could have meant extinction - given how he frames what the evanuris were doing to the world -which I believe is the blight brought on by Andruil or something else as horrifying.

3. Solas was the leader of rebellion against enslavement - he has good, admirable principles; he believes in the inherent right of all beings to exist freely and he abhors slavery and denial for any being to think for themselves. Depending on your inquisitors actions in the game he shows he values freedom, free-thinking, compassion, consideration, kindness, open-mindedness. He values these things which is how he became such a powerful leader of an anti-slave rebellion in Arlathan - the people who followed him and joined his cause believed in these ideals, and thus they would abhor him rewriting the world at the cost of the lives of people who love, live, breath, think freely in modern Thedas. He was backed into a corner when he had to create the Veil and endanger many elves, but how do you weigh lives against the benefits of beautiful omniscient magic that he’s so nostalgic for? That’s what this bitch was fighting against! Solas took a stand against these magically gifted, powerful evanuri’s because they supposedly used it to dominate others they perceived as different/inferior. The elves who joined Solas’ cause - whom he believes he’s fighting for by purging modern Thedas to restore - would be betrayed by his current actions. His actions would betray all the values the elven people who joined him fought for. 

4. Solas as Fen’harel took great pains in denouncing his divinity - Solas does not like people buying into their own hype. He shows this by rejecting any assertions that he’s a divine God in the time of ancient Arlathan, and he shows it by disapproving of an Inquisitor who buys into the Herald of Andraste hype. At his core, Solas disapproves of anyone having so much power that they believe they’re above others, or entitled to make decisions on the common people’s behalf. He says this, “Responsibility does not equate to authority, and decision is not inherently better than indecision”. So Lavellan could parrot his own words back at him to remind him that he ISN’T a god and is NOT responsible for the actions he took as a result of being backed into a corner to save the elves, nor is he entitled to change the world as he see’s fit simply because he has the power to do so.

5. A lot of his banter with Varric is very important. As is his relationship with Cole. Because both Varric and Cole stress the importance of the world changing, and that change is not inherently bad or means the world is worse off than it was. You can move on, adapt, live on and thrive - and that things may seem worse in so far as its different - but that different does not equate to inferiority (something I headcanon my Lavellan Marlowe saying to Solas is “differences between all of us should never be viewed as inherent inferiorities, and those who view it as such are doomed to trample this world in their ignorance” OH GEEZ that’s corny but there it is)

6. Solas speaks with such disdain for the evanuri’s with their monopoly of power over the common people, and he sings the same tune for Tevinter. So, is it safe to say that Lavellan could remind him that perhaps it was for the best that ancient Arlathan failed, since historically those who hold enough of a monopoly of power to bring so much devastation to the world need to be stopped, and that perhaps despite the beauty of magic, there is some wisdom in thinking it needs to be curtailed if the result is that those who wield it best could enslave, dominate or destroy those without the same talents? THUS, modern Thedas has its problems, yes, and the persecution of mages and fear of the Fade and spirits is short-sighted, but ultimately modern Thedas doesn’t have the same fear as ancient Arlathan in that there wasn’t a being who could threaten all life with their magical powers except the blight (which is obvs implied to be a result of the evanuris, or Corypheus who only ended up in his position of power thanks to ancient elven power). Basically, Solas needs to realise that the world might be less pretty but ultimately better off for the freedom of all people, regardless of race of class, to exist without that much power because those are the values he fought for in ancient Arlathan. 

7. An important, final, finito point is that Solas is a sad little bitch who was always told by friends or foe that he’s not worth listening to, his worldview and open-mindedness towards other beings like spirits is madness not wisdom, and that he’s basically a PC weirdo who is shunned because he’s a democrat living in an elven republican nightmare - and Lavellan comes along and loves him for who he is at his core which he is evidently unused to. And he needs to let go of his self-imposed responsibility for the creation of the veil (which in my opinion is the evanuris fault for backing him into that corner) and take some goddamned time to live by his own values and embrace a humble life of exploring the world he’s so curious about and settling down with the love of his life. 

8. Solas can be a pompous asshole who thinks ancient elves are all that, but his conversations with the other companions show he’s genuinely curious and invested in their worldviews (”Iron Bull, how do your people wear shirts?”) and it should be easy as fuck to convince him modern Thedas is of value because it holds many different and fascinating views on the world and how to live, and Solas is - when not overwhelmed by guilt and a misplaced sense of responsibility - a very curious, open-minded person. He’d probs love to explore modern Thedas and learn more about how many different ways of life there are. 

9. LAST POINT. Solas can be a cunt. He’s dismissive of different ways of life (the Qun for example, though I’m also personally opposed to their brand of brainwashing) but also shows a curiosity and enjoyment of cultural differences despite of this. I think his value of ancient Arlathan and elvhen culture is only magnified by the fact that it was lost, and seemingly by his hand. But his actions show otherwise in that he repeatedly states ancient Arlathan had its many flaws, he hated the slavery, he rebelled against its leaders, he enjoys talking about modern Thedas etc etc. He’s very flawed and contradictory, but its very easy to see how Solas falls into traps of thinking ancient Arlathan and the elves were superior only because he feels tremendous guilt for having an inadvertent part in destroying what he was familiar with. His actions in Inquisition though, show otherwise, particularly if he becomes friends/lovers with the Inquisitor. He can let go of his guilt and see modern Thedas and its diverse people for the value they have through the eyes of someone he respects.