#OBVIOUSLY not a one on one replacement. i will change the scenes quite a bit since there's a lot of stuff Fumiko does that Mao wouldn't

[laugtherhyena]

Hmmm Mao story idea,,

[velvrei]

getting into a heated argument w chad (perhaps about another girl trying to make a move on chad, but he’s a bit dumb and didn’t notice), so the reader is yelling, and it’s quite hot. eventually, chad stops replying and just stands there w his mouth open, and it ends w smut 🫶🏽 (sub! chad pls)

omg this is my favorite request so far. my apologies for the extremely long wait, school & sports have been keeping me extremely busy!

…

my cowboy

pairing : chad meeks martin x reader

summary : at the party, girls are flirting with chad & he’s so naive he doesn’t realize that he does it back. you point that out to him, and teach him a very aggressive lesson.

warnings : REALLY sub!chad, smut, little angst, reader handcuffs and blindfolds chad 🫣 use of mommy, mentions of slapping, finger sucking, chad has a degradation kink, argument scene, chad worshipping reader, dumb chad tbh, unprotected sex (wrap ur willy dawg), slight pda

word count : 6k+

authors note : lowercase intended, inspired by the scene of kirsten durst choking and domming her man in the show “on becoming a god in central florida”. (it was so hot so i had to write a fic inspired by it)

nsfw under the cut

the weekly parties at blackmore university were one of the wonderful benefits of being a college freshman. you weren’t new to parties, but as a freshman you were newly introduced and instantly gained interest.

loud music was playing, and you could smell alcohol and perspiration in the air. normally, you would have felt repulsed by it and cringed. but you were preoccupied with seeing what was happening in front of you.

chad, your boyfriend, was talking to one of the girls that cheered for his football team. the girl seemed to be getting a little touchy, her hand on his bicep.

“easy there, tiger.” mindy from your right spoke, watching your anger remain the same as you paid no attention to her. “your spilling your drink over there.” anika added, taking the drink from your hand and pouring it out into the sink near you, “she’s not even listening to me.” she mumbled. warning a cackle from mindy.

you watched as chad smiled and looked around. you, being petty, turned your head toward mindy so he couldn’t find you. if he wanted to flirt with other girls, he can’t just come find you as a backup after. you knew that wasn’t actually how he was thinking, he was probably unaware and searching for you, but you didn’t care.

mindy rolled her eyes at you and threw away your smashed drinking cup, turning to you and looking you directly in the eye. she waved a hand over your face, “earth to y/n.”

you finally snapped out of your angry trance and looked at her, slightly. “what?” anika laughed and wrapped her arm around mindy, who’s as slightly tipsy. “why are you about to start rage crying?”

you shook your head, trying to forget all the hateful feelings you'd just gotten toward the cheerleader who obviously knew you and chad were together. you and chad literally had matching costumes, for god sake. however, his was just a little sluttier than yours. part of you wanted to be petty and change that. a deftones song started playing, you took that as your sign to go cause some chaos.

you turned to the two girls, giving them a small thank you. they both shared a confused laugh and watched you run away and out of the room.

you quickly went to your dorm, which was only down the hallway, and looked through your closet. you smiled when you found the top your roommate, tara had given you.

you smiled and took off your tank top that once fully covered your body, now replacing it with the skimpy top from tara.

chad hadn’t seen your costume on you yet, let alone you. you showed him the costume itself, but not on you, so he was in for a little surprise after your change due to your pettiness.

your skimpy top from tara consisted of cloth the length of your bra, practically a bikini top, as it tied around your back and purposefully showed your cleavage. you decided to keep your tiny midi skirt on, cuffing it up a bit and looking at yourself in the mirror.

you smiled at yourself before taking a mirror selfie, grabbing your phone and exiting the room, feeling much more confident than you did before. it was fun being petty.

you made your way down the hall and back into the party room, feeling in your element as you saw a table with multiple alcohol bottles. you grabbed two full, unopened bottles of liquor and brought them to where your friends were.

around you was tara, mindy, anika, wes, ethan, quinn, and some other people you didn't know the names of. chad was no where to be seen.

you tried not to let that bother you, as you approached, earning loud whistles and howls from your group of friends.

"oh my god, who are you?" tara asked with a huge smile, covering her mouth, pretending to be in shock. you shrugged and smiled, hearing the music and starting to dance, moving your hips from side to side.

you set both of the bottles down onto the table and looked at your friends, using your finger to decided which friend you wanted. you started swaying and looked at all of them, "someone get the fuck up and come dance with me!"

tara was the first to stand up, her bandana on her head slightly falling, making anika and mindy giggle to each other.

mindy mumbled to anika, "watch, when chad comes back he's gonna see them twerking on the dance floor." she said, jokingly as she watched the two girls start swaying their hips and grinding on each other to waka flocka flame.

anika turned to her girlfriend, "ten bucks they have angry sex tonight." holding her hand out, she watched as mindy's expression changed to sour.

mindy's eyes widened and she turned to to anika, "ew, anika, i don't wanna think about my twin brother angrily banging his girlfriend!" mindy stopped and rolled her eyes, putting her hand to anika's, "deal."

meanwhile, you and tara were grinding on each other on the dance floor, not taking notice of anybody around you, until tara spotted a certain cowboy from the corner of her eye.

she stopped, and tapped your shoulder, music too loud to hear her words so she brought her hand and lips to your ear, “chad’s eyeing you, on your right.” she whispered somewhat discreetly, and you waited a second and caught a glimpse of your right.

you noticed chad’s usually happy, handsome expression, but watching as it fell, and his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed his spit. his gulp was hard to miss and you continued watching his eyes as they skimmed down your body. his eye twitched, almost making you giggle. he was basically eye-fucking you.

he didn’t even notice your gaze until he snapped out of his trance, looking at you with wide eyes. however, you did nothing about it. just smiled and blew him a kiss. you didn’t even see what he did after that because you went back for dancing with tara.

but, boy, did you have a hold on him.

the rest of the hour you didn’t even bat an eye at chad, no matter how many countless times he tried getting your attention, you ignored it.

now, you were sat on a couch, surrounded by your friend group discussing what ever the hell came to mind.

chad, on the other hand, was no where to be seen. you obviously cared for him, but in that moment you let your petty wife take over and would figure out where he went, later.

“this party is kinda boring, let’s amp it up a little bit. tara, truth or dare, girl?” mindy, who was half drunk, spoke, her words slurring together as anika laughed at her side.

tara placed her head in her hands, pretending to think for a minute before answering, “dare, duh.”

mindy and anima turned to each other and discussed for a second, as if they didn’t already have a dare in mind.

“i,” mindy started, but anika interrupted, “not her, we,” mindy rolled her eyes and corrected herself, purposely over exaggerating it, “WE, dare you to make out with ethan.”

you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched the brunette boy’s eyes widen, like a deer in headlights who was just taken aback. ethan swallowed hard, looking at tara, who was eyeing him like a snack she wanted to devour.

the situation made you laugh, as tara stood up and walked over to ethan. mindy and anika shared looks, as tara bent down to whisper into ethan’s ear. everyone watched carefully, and with a nod of ethan’s head, tara smashed her lips onto his and straddled him.

mindy gasped, watching the two horny teens brawl it out with their tongues, “holy shit! i was not expecting that!”

everyone howled and cheered, laughing along. you couldn’t help but cheer and laugh too, your best friend was making out with your boyfriends best friend.

speaking of your boyfriend, where was he?

you removed your eyes from the two horny teens and searched around the room, looking for the gorgeous man you call yours, but he was no where to be seen. you checked your phone, no text messages from him either.

you tried to think nothing of it, but your mind kept slipping every little while as the truth or dare game continued.

after a painful two minutes of tara and ethan’s kiss, tara hopped off of him, wiping her mouth. you giggled when you saw ethan’s mouth area smeared with shiny, sparkly lip gloss.

tara sat back in her seat next to you like nothing happened. she turned to anika, “anika, truth or dare.”

anika laughed, “after seeing all that i��m saying truth.”

mindy gasped, placing her hand on her heart, pretending to be offended. “you don’t wanna aggressively make out with me as a dare?” she spoke quickly.

she looked at her girlfriend as if she had betrayed her. anika couldn’t help but laugh even more, “we can do that any other time, my love.”

tara cleared her throat before questioning the couple. “kiss marry kill, this group right here, plus chad, not including mindy.” your lips pursed at the mentions of chad, watching as anika’s shot you a look and her face changed.

“not my twin!” mindy whined. anika rolled her eyes and thought for a moment.

“well, i’ll start off with y/n,” mindy’s mouth fell open as if she wasn’t expecting that, anika began explaining herself, “she knows how to deal with a meeks-martin twin and that takes some serious commitment, so, i’d marry her.”

mindy rolled her eyes as anika continued speaking, “kiss wes,” as soon as those words left anika’s mouth mindy gasped. “what?!”

anika giggled and continued, “i’ve seen how wes treats his girlfriend, very gentlemanly. i respect that.” anika’s words made wes smile shyly from the corner.

“aaaand, i’d kill ethan. no reasoning really i just know him the least out of everybody, no hard feelings, kid.” ethan shrugged.

ethan had no clue what anika had just said but he still nodded. poor boy was still replaying his kiss with tara in his tipsy mind.

anika smiled and started looking at her potential candidates for the question she was about to ask, but then noticed an absence. “where’s chad?”

anika looked at you, which you shrugged. “i haven’t really talked to him sense i came back, matter of fact i haven’t really spoke to him at all, tonight.”

anika’s eyebrows raised, but she stopped and her face changed, from a confused frown to a sneaky smirk. “i see what’s going on here.”

you, had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. “what are you talking about, anika?”anika and mindy shared a sneaky look as anika continued her words.

“you saw chad talking to a girl and got jealous, then went and changed into something,” anika used to her hand to gesture to your new outfit, “obviously sexier, chad saw you, and now he’s is no where to be seen? i know what’s going on, here, missy.” anika spoke like a fourty year old mother.

you were still confused as ever, so mindy rolled her eyes and stepped in, literally, she almost fell over.

“chad’s probably either off trying to make you jealous, or he thought you looked to hot in that costume and couldn’t contain his sexual urges.”

mindy gagged at her own sentence, “i’m never speaking about my brother like that again.” she mumbled under her breath, earning a slap in the shoulder from anika, to which mindy whined at.

your mouth fell open and you laughed, “i-“ you went to speak but didn’t really know what you wanted to say.

“i- i don’t know?” you said with a laugh, watching anika and mindy as they smirked at each other, “i should probably go find him, though, i’m worried, he’s not answering my texts.”

they nodded as you stood, slipping your phone back into your purse. the group blew you kisses goodbye and you left the living room in search of your boyfriend.

you went into the kitchen, looking for chad but finding some juice boxes in mindy and anika’s fridge instead and snatching one for yourself.

you struggled to punch the straw through the hole, and heard a laugh from behind you.

your turned and saw this guy from your econ class, dressed as what looked like a witch, walking up to you and putting his hands out. “ do you need help with that?”

his british accent was faint, you didn’t remember him having one, let alone him in general, but you asked no further questions. “sure, thank you.”

the guy opened the juice box using the straw with ease, and smiled down at you as he handed it back.

“i’m foster, by the way,” he spoke, smiling.

it was almost as if his teeth had that toothpaste commercial shine and you couldn’t help but notice how white and perfect his teeth were.

he put out his hand, and after a few seconds of debating you shook it, giving him an awkward smiling before looking around you.

“foster it was nice speaking to you, but i really need to find my boyfriend,” you said, emphasizing the word boyfriend and watching as his face changed.

he threw his hands up as a defensive, “oh, i’m sorry, please resume whatever you were doing, my lady,” he noticed the weird look you gave him and went to explain himself.

“sorry if i’m coming strong, i’m like really gay, and kind of drunk.”

tou laughed at that and tapped his shoulder when you spotted a certain buff cowboy over his shoulder across the room. “no problem foster, it was nice speaking to you, i’ll see you in class, tomorrow.”

and with that you said no other words to the witch, walking over to your boyfriend.

however, you stopped about halfway, noticing a drink in his hand, and a short, pretty blonde girl in front of him.

she was laughing at something he said. you rolled your eyes, knowing damn well your boyfriend wasn’t that funny.

you set your juice box down on the counter and walked over to the two. your boyfriend noticed as you got closer but the girl purposely paid no attention to you.

chad saw you and his face lit up, "hi y/n!" he spoke lightly, almost innocently, as if he had no clue in the world what that girl wanted from him.

you grabbed his hand and turned to the blonde cheerleader in front of him, shooting her the dirtiest look you could gather, "if you excuse me, sweetie, my boyfriend and i are gonna go have sex, now, so," you spat.

you watched as her face changed to a disgusted, but annoyed look. you shooed her along before dragging chad up the stairs.

chad started questioning you as you practically yanked him.

"baby, what's wrong?"

"hello?"

"y/n, are you okay?"

"where are you taking me?"

"why were you so mean to her?"

that last question really bursted your little bubble of anger, as you brought him inside a clean, empty room and slammed the door behind the both of you. you turned to him, jaw clenched, and your eyes heavy. not from tiredness, but from anger. you didn't even know that was possible.

“you’re really going to ask that right now?”

your words sent chad into a regretful trance, trying desperately to figure out what could be so wrong with him talking to another girl, let alone a stereotypical beauty queen.

there was no way he was that naive to not know how bad that girl wanted him, how badly she craved to be in your spot. but she couldn’t, you would never let that happen. and until today you always thought chad would fight the girls off. he was either extremely stupid, or just wanted a good rise out of you.

“i guess?” chad’s tone broke due to his obvious voice crack. however, he cleared his throat and repeated himself more confidently. “i guess.”

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, the frustration building up in your body as your mind replayed the scene over and over again. she was touching his arm, laughing at all his stupid, unfunny jokes. looking at him the same way you did when he first dropped to his knees for you.

“you guess? what the fuck does that even mean?” chad’s eyes widened and his face filled with anger, matching your expression.

“it means that i didn’t know what the hell she wanted! not every girl has bad intentions! maybe she just wanted a friend!”

you watched as he spoke, his eyes changing, his hands flailing as a shivered from his own words. chad could’ve spotted your anger from a mile away if he really chose to focus on it, but he didn’t. and that was the problem.

he wasn’t as naive and stupid as you claimed for him to be, he just didn’t take the time to realize what was wrong and how it could’ve affected you.

but he still was a little dumb, especially when it came to other girls.

“she wanted you the same way i do, chad, you’re fucking stupid if you can’t see that!”

it wasn’t your intention to get so vile with your words, practically shouting them in his face, while all he could do was watch.

chad’s jaw clenched, and he swallowed thickly. “i am not stupid.” he spat through his teeth, his words slightly muffled.

your heavy breathing started to slow down as you closed your eyes and turned around, placing two of your hands on your head in attempt to control your anger. you swallowed, your pants now simple breaths.

to him, your eyes felt like newly sharpened daggers, his eyes watched your movements carefully, trying not to get cut.

he didn’t move a muscle, eyes tracing you as you slowly, turned back around, eyes meeting his and he could see the real amount of anger displayed on your usual timid face.

“if you’re not stupid,” you started, speaking slower than before but with the same amount of anger. “how couldn’t you tell that girl wanted you?”

before you continued, you laughed a little.

it wasn’t a joyful one, it was a feeling or betrayal. overall the situation wasn’t that serious, but you felt as if he was disobeying you, disrespecting you, in any way he could just to get into your pants.

chad kept up with his defense from before, “she doesn’t want me, y/n.” his words were firm, possible to send the feeling of daggers straight through your heart.

you sighed, a frustrated smile appearing on your face. you began laughing, not too much, but slightly. chad watched as your maniac behavior continued, his eyes following your limp body as you almost curled into a ball, wanting for him to just understand but he was to naive to be able.

“whatever, chad.”

was all you said. he felt his heart hurt a little. he wish he could’ve went back and tried to be more understanding, but what was said was already out and processed, so he could do nothing but try to fix it. you sat down onto the empty bed, head in your hands as you took deep breaths to try and contain your anger from bursting out.

he cleared his throat. “don’t whatever, me.” was all he said. his voice still babbling with anger; he hadn’t taken the time to contain it like you were attempting.

he watched as you stayed there, not moving, so he spoke again. “i said,” he spoke, louder than last time. “don’t whatever, me.” in any other moment you would’ve been laughing at his stupid use of grammar, but at this moment, you were more focused on his tone, and how he was talking to you.

you stood up quickly and walked toward him, standing up for yourself as you were only a foot away from him.

“chad, i’ll whatever whoever the hell i want! apparently it doesn’t matter to you, what if i was out there flirting with some white boy? wouldn’t make you feel the best would it?” the shouting apparently wasn’t over, you shouted that whole statement. chad’s jaw clenched once more.

“no, i guess i wouldn’t but i wouldn’t be mad at you cause of it! it wouldn’t be your fault!” he yelled, defending himself.

your eyes practically rolled themselves, “yes it would be! because i would be letting him think that he has a chance! if i really loved you, i would walk the fuck away, and try to find you! that’s exactly what i would do! and i did!”

chad’s face was angry until the last part of your sentence. his face filled with jealous, he asked, “what?!”

you sighed, and threw your hands up, “this guy was talking to me! i showed no interest in him and walked. the fuck. away. it’s not that difficult if you’re really invested in someone else, chad!”

his jaw clenched even tighter, blowing aggressive air out of his nostrils as he just stared you down. he watched, debating what to say, as if he was trying to hold himself back from saying something he’d regret.

“you don’t always have to be such a bitch.”

those words sent you over the edge, you lunged forward and slapped his face, hard. it was unintentional, the slap just kind of happened. you realized what you did after and your eyes widened, but then remembered what he said, and anger and guilt washed over your gorgeous face.

chad’s cowboy hat fell off of his head and to his back, the tiny string holding on to his neck as chad traced the slightly red finger prints with his fingers.

chad blew out some air, through his nose and his clenched teeth, as he watched you again, thinking of what to say next.

“that cheerleader wouldn’t have slapped me.”

you examined his face carefully, looking deep into his eyes, seeing lust now overtaking his anger. you swallowed and slapped his face again, this time, lighter but still firmly, and on the other side.

you watched a rush of excitement rush through his eyes, he almost smiled after you slapped him. his mouth fell open and he rubbed his red cheek, he was almost in awe. he didn’t even have to say more, you lightly tapped his cheek again.

chad sucked in a quick breath. you couldn’t help but smile, watching as his face looked desperate as ever.

chad went to speak again but you grabbed him by his throat, bringing him closer to you, and making him crouch down so his head was now slightly below yours.

his eyes looked up at you submissively, longing for more of your touch and you couldn’t help but watch, and almost laugh at how pathetic and cute he looked at the same time. chad swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing, tickling your hand.

the way your eyes shot down at him almost made him cum right there. you looked gorgeous, especially when your mind filled with thoughts of dominating him until he can’t take it anymore.

he almost whimpered, as you brought him to his knees, and he immediately broke when you let go of his neck.

“please,” he spoke, quietly, as if he was embarrassed of the position he was in. you lightly stroked his hair before yanking it back, so he looked up at you.

you cleared your throat, “please, what? speak louder.”

your mean tone turned him on even more, he felt his stomach flutter full with butterflies. chad whined once more. you let free of your grip on his hair and his body collapsed to the ground. his hands on the floor, as if he was praising you, he avoided eye contact and started rambling little words.

“please, m- mommy, i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry, for everything i said, how can i- how can i make it up to you? i- i’ll do anything, please,”

you listened to his words carefully, hearing his voice cracks that made it more pathetic, making it more genuine.

you swallowed hard, it was kind of difficult to stay composed when your big, buff, 6’3, boyfriend was on his knees begging for your forgiveness. he was so submissive when he wanted to be, and you loved it.

“come on, baby, on the bed, i’ll help you out.”

his pulse skipped a beat when your hands touched his chest, and he immediately stood up after hearing your words. he sat on the bed as you drew nearer to him, his eyes following you. he exhaled deeply as you passionately kissed his soft lips.

after looking in chad's eyes for any signs of pain as you withdrew, to which you found none, you placed your lips against his once more.

chad sighed into the kiss, his ferocious cravings finally sated, and he felt himself growing more and more horny by the second just from the sensation of your lips on his.

he wanted you, bad.

he couldn’t help but whimper as your hands continually roamed down his muscular frame, fingernails trailing his abs making him squirm, and moan into your mouth, your lips disconnected and he sweared under his breath, trying not to loose it at the thought of you pleasing him.

“sense you said some mean things to mommy, mommy’s not gonna be nice tonight,” you spoke, watching his eyes widen as he slowly nodded.

your eyes darted to his, watching his face comfort into pure pleasure as your hands smoothly roamed down his body.

his mouth remained closed as he moaned, the comfortable sensation of your body warming his, he bit his lip and his head fell back onto the bed. you lifted your hips, noticing the small wet spot on his jeans, his belt rubbing against your clit and your body collapsed onto his.

“look who can’t handle themselves, now,” chad spat in between his moans, earning a hard slap to his face.

chad moaned loudly, digging the back of his head into the comforter, as you kept moving your hips across his. “that feel good, honey, yeah?” you purred, lowering your body heat to mix with his.

chad whimpered, roaming his hands along your body, to which you flinched. “nuh-uh-uh.” you said, grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head.

your hips started to slow, back arching as his belt “you’ve been a bad boy, chad, tonight, i’m punishing you.” you carefully grabbed his shirt, and yanked him closer to you, “that means, no touching me, no seeing me, no complaining. you got yourself into this.” you let go of his shirt and shoved him back on the bed.

you got off of his lap, walking over to the nightstand in the spare bedroom, chad’s eyes widened as you pulled out a pair blue fuzzy handcuffs, and a black handkerchief.

chad could practically imagine the thought, and he almost came there as you began to tie his hands to the bed.

“listen mommy, i’m so sorry-” he spoke, looking up at you, as you shut him up by shoving your pointer and middle fingers down his throat. “i don’t care if you’re sorry. what’s done is done, now stop complaining or it’ll just get worse for you, my love.”

you finished tying his hands to the bed, and slowly straddled his body again, slowly and purposefully reaching past him so your hips rubbed against his, chad moaned once again, bucking his hips as he became a mess underneath you.

“oh, fuck,” chad whispered as you blocked his vision and tied the cloth around his eyes. chad was a moaning and whimpering mess, he couldn’t form words as the thought of you having full control over him and his pleasure.

he flinched when he felt your cold hands trail down his chest, slowly roaming closer to his lower half as you stopped right before and fiddled with his belt.

you easily took it off, and tossed it across the room. your nails lightly trailed along his chest, sending shivers down his spine. you slowly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down in a teasingly slow manner.

“mommy, please,” he whined, bucking his hips. you pushed his hips right back down. “shut it, slut. you’re under my control tonight.”

chad moaned loudly and squirmed, “yes- yes i am. i’m sorry mommy, your touch just makes me so hard, i can’t handle it.”

you watched as his body trembled, drops of precum leaking through his boxers. he moaned and whined, unable to handle your teasing no matter how much he tried.

your nails grazed along his clothed dick, specifically the tip, watching as his mouth fall open as gasps and profanities spilled out.

he was so whiny.

“mmm, mommy, mommy, please. i’ll do anything for you to touch me, anything,” his words progressively got louder as you grabbed his dick, and squeezed.

“oh, fuck!” he shouted aggressively. you quickly smacked your hand over his mouth with your free hand.

on his end, it felt like time froze because he spilled a small loud into his boxers, moaning and panting into your hand, while the other was now pulsating his throbbing dick, drips of cum running down your finger.

“you must be desperate, huh?” you spoke, watching as he fell apart under your touch. he nodded, his worlds muffled. you

picked out a yes and gripped his dick harder.

his hips bucked and he whined, "oh yeah? oh yeah? you want it, chad? you want my hands pumping you?" chad physically trembled, nodding and continuing to moan louder in your hands.

you brought your hand from his mouth, eager to hear what he had to say.

“yes, mommy, i want it so bad!" you noticed his eyebrows furrowing, and you couldn't even see his eyes but you knew he had that desperate look under that cloth.

you slowly pulled down his boxers, letting them fall to his ankles before you got up and tossed them across the room. he was now fully naked, compared to you, who still had your tiny amount of clothing on.

you left his lap, and sat as his side watching as he trembled in his own from the loss of your touch on his soft skin. you watched his hips buck, he was non-verbally asking you to touch him.

you slowly trailed his thigh, watching his chest rise up and down, his pants turned to whines as he was unable to control himself anymore.

chad felt his eyes flutter shut when you grabbed his bare dick, squeezing it and giving no time before you began stroking him. he whimpered as you hand moved.

chad’s lower body went numb, the feeling of your hands on him after a long day of meaningful teasing he was still rock hard and had already came once.

chad soaked up every ounce of pleasure you gave him, and showed you love by the beautiful sounds he was making. you brought your lips to his ear, your left hand stroking him as your right grasped at the back of his neck.

“you’re doing so good, baby,” you whispered, to which he replied with an pornographic moan.

chad’s head fell against the backboard of the bed, squirming and feeling his hands squirm and flinch against the handcuffs.

the loss of his vision really turned him on, his sense were tingling, your whispers made it hard for him to last longer, and you took that to your advantage.

your left hand continued to stroke him up and down, his moans slowly going from deep toned to high pitched. his hands gnawed at the bedsheets, getting sent into a pre-orgasm trance as he started to see white in his vision.

“fuck, angel,” he moaned, his tone higher than normal, “keep doing that and i’m gonna cum so fucking hard.” he said, aggression on his profanity.

“mmm, yea? yea? you gonna cum? just for mommy? you gonna come right in mommy’s hand, make a big mess for me?” you taunted in his ear, kissing and nipping at his neck.

you knew exactly where his sweet spot was, you trailed a finger over it before going in and sucking it like you were a vampire thirsty for skin and blood.

chad began moving and moaning, his hips bucking as your speed around his throbbing cock quickened, his mouth fell open and he couldn’t help but squirm inside the handcuffs.

chad was about to speak but stopped and just moaned, over and over again, progressively getting louder.

the fire inside of him was burning and he was ready to let go, but he didn’t want to disobey his mommy again so he brought up the courage to form words for you.

“mommy momma mommas please, please let me cum. please, i’ll be so good, i’ve been so good, i’m so sorry, ill never speak to that girl again, momma please. i need it, i need you.” he rambled, and you just laughed at him.

“you’re fucking pathetic. you’ve been such a bad boy today, so be a good boy and cum for me, cum for me now or you’re not coming at all tonight.” your aggression in your words made chad almost scream, bucking his hips as his load spilled all over his chest, legs, and basically drenched your hand.

“atta boy,” you mumbled in his ear, earning a high pitched whimper. when he came down from his high, you removed your hand from his dick, and brought one of your fingers to his mouth. “open.”

chad’s eagerly opened his mouth and you shoved your fingers down his throat, his soft lips wrapped around them and he moaned as you spoke once more.

“you taste good, huh, honey?” you said, shoving your fingers to the back of his throat then removing them and wrapped them around his dick once more.

you continued to pump him up and down, watching as he physically became overstimulated and couldn’t function right or form any words to stop you. he could take it.

“yeah, come on angel, give me one more. i know you have it in you, do it for mommy.” you whispered in his ear.

you nibbled at his earlobe and watching as he let out one long, extremely loud moan as he spilled out the last of his cum, his mind went dumb and all he wanted was to grasp onto you for comfort.

he trembled and the last drops spilt out, and once he gained his consciousness of what just happened he quickly answered.

“oh my fucking god, thank you so much mommy. thank you so much,” he continued to thank you as you shimmied the cloth off his face, and let it hang at his neck.

you bit your lip and stared at him before taking off the cuffs. you straddled him and took off both sets of handcuffs, throwing those across the room too.

“you’re so pretty baby,” you said with a smile, cupping his face and feeling his white substance stick on your thighs. chad rolled his eyes, “don’t do that again, it hurts from being hard all day.” he spoke, making you both laugh.

you both smiled and you kissed all over and around his face. “as much as i loved seeing you fully under my control, i missed watching your handsome face. let’s get you a bath, baby.”

[tonydaddingham]

the thing that is actually making me giddy with the possible angst is that i really think that we are about to see the most monumental shift in not only how we saw these characters but also how they previously saw each other.

the fact that we literally now have confirmation that a) they knew each other before the fall, b) aziraphale has had heart eyes since before time began, and c) crowley... possibly not so much, completely changes the context on not just the eden scene but also all the historic scenes that followed.

aziraphale knew crowley as an angel, and knew even then when crowley was meant to be 'perfect' that crowley was maybe a bit different, always asking questions and toeing the line. maybe out of a bit of bastardy himself, or out of begrudging awe of his ability but also his audacity, or just plain attraction, aziraphale immediate takes to him. but this has meant that aziraphale has placed crowley, perhaps unconsciously, upon a pedestal. and the pedestal that aziraphale puts crowley on from that moment may have wobbled throughout their history together, but it's stayed relatively intact.

this worries me, that aziraphale may not have quite let go of the fact that crowley just isn't that person any more, maybe never was to begin with, and continues in some measure to idolise him. my interpretation of this is that yes, crowley can be a bit of a dick (because, well, obviously) and aziraphale knows this, has done since the beginning, but aziraphale continues to hold crowley to an overall moral ideal that is so firmly ensconced in aziraphale's first perception of him as an angel that crowley will never be able to live up to it. not because he isn't a nice person, or because he can't live up to it, but maybe... he just simply doesn't want to.

but the issue is that throughout the ages (including the job minisode which ive had corrected for me, so Crowley Anger is now simply simmering), crowley's actions have only reinforced to aziraphale that despite being technically a demon, he has a huge heart and is not a horrible person. bit of a bastard, but not cruel. all of this just feeds and feeds into this image of crowley that aziraphale has built of him, and when crowley has his flashes of, in fact, not being honourable or kind, this threatens to upset the pedestal altogether.

these wobbly moments - when he thinks crowley is going to kill the children, when crowley snaps at him in rome, when crowley first proposes the arrangement, the prospect that he came up with the french revolt, the holy water request, the bandstand, "how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?"... moments where just for a second, in a small or huge measure, aziraphale's faith in crowley... flickers.

and of course aziraphale has been here before, right? he's had his faith, his devotion, his loyalty tested to the absolute limit of angelic endurance. so when his faith in heaven (never lost it in god) was obliterated, well - it had to cling to something. something that wouldnt mean that aziraphale has to lose the concept of faith altogether. so we're back to the old standby of idolatry, that aziraphale's heavenly faith is replaced by his faith in crowley, this angel that despite never originally giving aziraphale the time of day, aziraphale cannot see - for all of crowley's faults and bastardy and the frustration he poses - crowley as anything less than something to be worshipped.

this is exactly why i think that one of the main points of s2 is going to be a rift between them both. obviously i haven't talked about crowley's perspective of this and maybe i will in another post, but i do think that crowley is going to do something, a bad thing for the right reasons, but aziraphale isn't going to see it like that. that crowley will do something awful to protect aziraphale, but all aziraphale will be able to see is the betrayal or the cruelty or the despair, he can't see wood for the trees, and just lose that last vestige of faith he had altogether.

i feel like once all the disillusion and disenchantment has been swept away, and they're both laid bare at each other's feet... that they may not quite like what they find. from aziraphale's perspective, that whatever crowley does in s2 might be crossing aziraphale's line in the sand, and now aziraphale is starting to see crowley as someone that is truly grey, fluctuating between doing things that are Good, and things that are Good for Crowley.

and it's not as if aziraphale was blind to this before, but instead now... he kind of finally sees who crowley is? who he has been all along? the film has lifted from his eyes. realises that love and worship are not the same thing. what he loves, who he loves, doesn't equate to worshipping it/them, idolising them. there's a very big difference that echoes down to the very core tenet of who aziraphale is and his experiences with having and losing faith, but love having remained.

so stripped of the pedestal, crowley is now just simply... crowley. a person, not an angel, not a demon. and there is the distinct possibility that aziraphale might be completely blindsided by what he finds.

[eggcats]

I'm still working on chap3 (I have a bunch of unconnected little things, but I'm a bit stuck on how to connect them quite yet - but hopefully soon I'll he able to write and edit)

But instead I decided to write a "current day" slice of life fic, based on my AU, where they meet Charlie and the Happy Hotel

(some ideas came from @shizukasobsessions and my replies in the comments of my fic♥️)

There's so many different pieces here tho, lmao - like, Alastor killed Valentino and took Angel's soul to replace him as the overlord of porn, to prevent Angel from failing he gave him Husk to guide him on being an overlord, (Alastor refers to Angel as solely Anthony, the less he thinks of the pornography offshoot of their media empire, the better)

Vox is still the face of their company, Voxtek is still named after him (Alastor has no issues taking a more behind the scenes role, there's a reason he WAS the radio demon but mostly got that name from torturing souls on the radio, not by trying to force everyone to only listen to his radio show - he has no issues with Vox doing just that with television/hypnosis but he doesn't mind allowing him to truly embrace his cult-leader personality here. Vox is still his housewife behind closed doors, tho, Alastor just doesn't want to hobble him in any way)

So it's really funny to think Charlie is just dealing with overlord after overlord (and one former) as she's trying to run her hotel

I'm thinking in this AU, Angel/Anthony decides to let some of his employees stay and try out the whole "redemption " thing, as long as Charlie gives them a safe place to stay rent free - in my AU, Angel was originally owned by Valentino when Alastor killed him, so Angel not only knows what brings people to his studio, he knows he can't protect them all - hence his agreement with the princess of hell

However, Angel and Vox are friends (Husk's #1 piece of advice to him, while Angel was freaking out that his soul chain changed hands along with a bunch of new responsibilities, was "make Vox like you - if Vox likes you then you're almost entirely safe from Alastor, trust me, I know it looks the other way but it's not")

(Angel now does genuinely like Vox, and they get along pretty well, but he will admit - if only to himself - that he originally became his friend to prevent from being torn to pieces like he watched happen to Valentino)

Alastor still obviously doesn't believe in redemption, but the only reason he's there at the hotel is because Vox asked him to be (and Vox is there because Angel asked him on behalf of Charlie for some advertising for the hotel)

And @proshipper-on-ship mentioned the Chaggie parallels of Charlie finding Vaggie at a dumpster, and Alastor doing the same, and I thought it'd be really funny to have their first meetings come up

Charlie, awkward but trying to come to terms with the truly alarming amount of Overlords in her hotel: "So...how'd you two meet?"

Alastor, smiling as he finally can set up his punchline: "Found him in an alley and brought him home with me."

Charlie, super excited: "OHMIGOSH, that's basically how I met Vaggie!! How'd you find him?! I was looking for anyone to help after the Extermination!"

Alastor: "I sensed someone using my radio waves and immediately went in search of who."

Charlie, actively looking at Alastor like he's as harmless as a kitten: "OhEmGee that's so sweet! And you were just going to take him under your wing but then you fell in love?!"

Alastor, deadpan: "No, I was going to kill him."

Charlie, looking exactly like 😦: "What."

Alastor: "He wasn't a radio, though, so I decided to let him live."

Vox, with his screen in his hands: "Alastor, you gotta stop telling people that."

Alastor, thinks it's secretly very funny: "Why not, it's the truth, darling?"

I just love the idea that Charlie, for a second, thinks Alastor might be as soft and kindhearted as herself as she sees similarities in their relationships, and then Alastor just immediately breaking the illusion.

[pyjamaart]

I never needed such help / This is my SOS

(Content warning: self harm) (If you don't have a problem with that, huge Drillman essay under the read more lol)

When I said that I wanted to draw Drillman some more, this really wasn't what I had in mind.

This week, I've been shopping for music on various second hand sites, which made me realize I don't physically own one of my all time favorite albums: "Squaring The Circle" by Sneaker Pimps. I had to change that immediately. (As well as buying like 15 other CDs and vinyls, lol.) As I was listening to it once again, I realized just how much the song "SOS" reminded me of Drillman and his struggles.

If you don't want to look it up, here are some of the lyrics:

"I look much smaller seen from inside out/Far too small to see myself/Down on reflection, cast in hate and in doubt/Flawed and flaws I add myself"

"Oh mirror mirror hanging on the wall/Please just show me someone else/My hopes were low and I got so much so less/Nothing left to save myself"

Listen, this dude got some major problems with his self esteem. He feels like an embarrassment because he was forced into a life he never wanted by his father. Now he seeks revenge on the company that bought his families business, along with him and apparently his bodily autonomy. Think about that for a minute. How fucked would it be if your parents wanted you to be a doctor, but a requirement for that would be to have your hand surgically removed and replaced with a scalpel. That's the exact situation Drillman found himself in.

Now a lot of people probably think "Well why doesn't he just ask Dr. Light to give him a new pair of hands then, if he's this miserable?" This is where we get to one of Drillmans biggest problems: the refusal to ask for help in any way. And even after the finale of the season, why would he go to the Lights for help in the first place? Wasn't it Aki who thought the best way to help him through his problems was hypnotism? And in the process embarrassing him in front of the whole city, ruining the last bit of reputation he may have had? (For real though, that episode is so hard for me to watch. I just feel so so bad for him, since I really struggle with social anxiety myself.)

As the guys from the Youtube channel "The D-Pad" (who reviewed all of the MMFC episodes) fittingly commented: "This would be like fucking Vietnam for him." And they were right. Obviously, Drillman is horrified that Aki would humiliate him like this and lashes out, solidifying his opinion that asking for help is a bad idea.

In that episode, there's this one moment that really stuck with me. At around the 8 minute mark, while Drillman is having a breakdown over the terrible "music" Aki made him perform, there's this one shot where he takes a moment to look at the drills that replaced his hands in frustration. The camera perspective makes it seem as if we are experiencing this brief scene through his eyes. It's actually quite upsetting. (A link to the moment I'm talking about: youtu.be/OC_jdhoeTrE?si=ZPzAXu…)

This is also a perfect moment for me to gush over the voice acting for this scene. Andrew McNee did such a fantastic job of conveying Drillmans distress and anger through his voice. That reminds me, giving him a British accent was honestly such a good decision.

The reason he doesn't talk at all throughout most of his first appearance is probably because the writers wanted to surprise their audience a little. As in, you see this big, imposing construction robot and think "Oh man, what a brute. He probably has a pretty deep voice." And then he actually starts to speak and it's this sophisticated, well-articulated British voice instead. Quite the whiplash.

To get back to the original topic, I'm honestly still upset that they didn't give Drillman a redemption arc at the end of the show. This probably would have happened in season 2, as Mega Man even says at some point "I know deep down your inner bits are good", proving to me that the writers definitely had something in mind regarding Drillmans character arc.

And now that all of that is out of the way, we can finally get into headcanon territory.

You might have seen this image while browsing the tags and asked yourself, "Why is this Mega Man Fully Charged artwork littered with content warnings?" And well, now that you're here and reading this, you probably know why. I can't say I've ever made myself sick with a drawing before. That's a first for me.

My headcanon is, that after the finale of the show, Drillman is just utterly lost. Lord Obsidian, who sought him out specifically because he knew of Drillmans problems and offered him a place to stay and a way to get revenge on the people he thought responsible for his predicament, turned out to be a horribly racist human who was just using him to achieve his own devious goals. After getting his ass kicked by the Lights, the same people who had not only humiliated him in front of the whole city, but who had also left him stuck to his abusive father for an entire day (I bet that ride to the police station was horrible for all the people involved, most of all the police bots who had to hear the Drillmen yell at each other the whole time), Sgt. Night is detained by the police. We don't actually see what happens after that, because that's where the show ends.

I'd like to think that the Lights actually try to talk to the robot masters once everything is over, telling them all the horrible things their so-called "leader" has said and done. And most importantly, what he thinks of robots: That they're nothing but tools to him. That once they had gotten him his Mega key, he would have wiped their minds and turned them into mindless machines.  

I'm guessing none of the robot masters would take these news well, but most of all Drillman. I think that after he ran away from Skyraisers Inc. and fought Mega Man for the first time, he was really relieved to have some place to stay and a new goal, maybe even a robot to look up to. That being Lord Obsidian of course. Who knows what lies he told Drillman and the others? Kinda sad that we never really got to see what the robot masters who stayed with Lord Obsidian did the entire day. When they weren't causing havoc in the city, that is.

None of them seemed really friendly with each other in the finale, now that I think about it. I guess "Obsidians robot sanctuary" wasn't really a great place to stay at after all. But still better than being homeless, like that one maniac living in the forest all by himself. Speaking of Woodman, in my AU, he and Drillman already knew each other at this point. This also reminds me of something I forgot to mention in my last post. While I'd love to see them interact in any way, because they're both my favorite characters, I don't ship them in any way whatsoever. I'd also like to think that Woodman and Drillmans father were schoolmates back in the day, maybe even friends? (I'm still holding onto those 30 years).

Anyway, after all the former robot comrades part ways, now without a leader, what was Drillman supposed to do? Once again betrayed by a trusted figure, feeling useless and without purpose, still with these stupid drills mounted to his body... Still too ashamed to ask for help. After all that has happened in the past few hours he begins spiraling, which ultimately leads him to make a very unfortunate decision. Trying to get at least some of the freedom in his life back, he attempts to get rid of the drills making up his body on his own, using the same tools that have haunted him all this time to finally rid himself of this burden.

He regrets this just seconds after, when he's left with an unresponsive limb, metal and wires exposed and oil splattered all over his orange plating. All he can do is stare at the stained drill in front of him in horror.

"I never needed such help/This is my SOS"

Jesus Christ that got dark. Sorry. I mentioned in my last post that Drillman possibly has really bad body dysmorphia, which I'm also trying to convey here. Don't worry, he really gets his hands back after this. Maybe the Lights find him after that and the good Doctor offers to fix him up. By which I mean not only his arm. Because apparently, Dr. Light also doubles as robot psychologist. I just really need Drillman to get his happy ending. He really really deserves it after everything he had to go trough over the course of the show. 

I also need him to have a DJing redemption, besides the normal redemption. I've seen people headcanon that he exclusively likes classical music, but I personally don't believe that. He'd be the kind of music nerd who would say stuff like "I listen to everything" and then you look at his playlists and he actually listens to everything. Maybe not experimental noise rock, though. I can just imagine Aki and Suna helping him put on an actual show, this time without any hypnotizing bullshit, as a way for Aki to apologize for the dread he's caused Drillman during that incident. Drillman would be highly suspicious at first, but actually goes along with it in the end. Maybe they'd also take Fireman along, who Dr. Light also blessed with a brand new pair of hands. The punchline at the end would be that Drillman would have so much anxiety about embarrassing himself again, that he forgets to make an actual set list for the gig. In the end, he exclusively plays Lady Gaga songs, which no one complains about.

Alright then, enough yapping from me. I've really been writing this essay since 8pm. And now it's 2am. My god. I just have a lot of feelings about Drillman.

But now I really gotta go to bed. Stay safe peeps. I hope you actually read the content warnings. Jenny out.

[antianakin]

If you were in charge of the Star Wars Prequels how would you have written Anakin? (assuming the only thing you can't do is erase him from canon :P)

Would you learn into Anakin's evilness or try to make him more sympathetic?

Honestly? I don't have THAT much of an issue with Anakin's general characterization in the Prequel Trilogy. I think for the most part that Anakin is a really interesting character in the Prequels and pretty unique as far as villain origin stories and action heroes of the time tended to be written. The focus on Anakin as FEARFUL, as someone who CRIES a lot and is AWKWARD and honestly not suave or smooth AT ALL (unless he's giving himself over to darkness, generally) is actually a really interestingly novel choice to go for. And that unique aspect of him is, arguably, why Anakin was so despised in the Prequels for being "whiny" and "annoying" and people really did not vibe with this weird awkward dude as proto-Vader. Obi-Wan as the much more competent, smooth, suave character with all of the snarky one-liners comes off looking much better in comparison. Same with Padme, usually.

So I wouldn't actually change the CORE of Anakin, the journey he goes on and the way his vices tend to be shown. TCW has already done that, they've just replaced Anakin's less likable characteristics with Obi-Wan's much more affable personality. They gave him snarky one-liners, he's now suave and smooth and charming, etc. It's annoying and it's boring.

But there are two things that don't work for me that I WOULD change if I were capable of going back in time and influencing Lucas's mind towards certain rewrites.

One is that I would make his romance with Padme more believable. The problem with the romance in AOTC for me is that you can completely believe that Anakin would be into Padme, but it feels a lot more difficult to understand why Padme is into Anakin in return. Especially after he murders an entire village of people down to the last child (we'll come back to this one). So we need to be told more WHY Padme is so into him when he is this weird, awkward, whiny manchild. Like, sure, he's pretty, but being pretty isn't enough to explain why Padme is willing to jeopardize her entire career to marry him by the end of the film.

So Padme either needs to be more corrupt, more angry herself, more connected to this part of Anakin that desires power, or they need to show us a better genuine connection. One of the things from the extended/deleted scenes from AOTC that I think could've helped with this is the bits where Padme mentions she had thought she'd be a wife and a mother by now and we see how close she is to her own family when she takes Anakin there. We know how close Anakin was to his mother and I think it would've been REALLY easy to use that as an easy connection. You could even help along the next movie by having Anakin mention that when he was a kid, he'd always sort-of wanted a big family. He didn't HATE that it was just him and his mom obviously, but it had been a sort of dream of his that one day they'd be free and he'd find a beautiful wife and have a big family for Shmi to dote on later in life. This gives Anakin and Padme a shared dream that neither of them is allowed to pursue due to their chosen careers. They've both sacrificed a desire for a family in favor of duty to the galaxy so when they get together later, you can kind-of understand why. No one else gets it but each other, etc.

The second thing I would change is the Tusken Massacre. I think that going as far as completely massacring the entire village is too far too soon. This is something that works only if you as the viewer don't truly see the Tuskens as equal to humans like Shmi or a people like the Jedi. The Tuskens aren't QUITE animals maybe, but they're also just savages who torture innocent women to death, so their deaths aren't sad for THEIR sake, the massacre is sad because of what it represents for Anakin - it's the beginning of the end. And obviously from a modern viewpoint, this really doesn't work anymore, especially with the way the Tuskens are being written these days. It also feels a little redundant with Order 66. It's not as impactful that he murders Jedi children when we already saw him murder Tusken children in the last movie. Baby murder is baby murder, there's no escalation in the evil he commits aside from sheer numbers I guess.

So I would probably have Anakin either choose to just leave the village quietly without killing anyone, or have him stop at just the guards/men and leave the women/children alive and either way he admits to Padme that he WANTED to kill them all and only just barely stopped himself. This also helps the romance aspect in that now you don't have to figure out why Padme is super chill with marrying a MASS BABY MURDERER and her moral code is a lot less gray. If he only killed the people who attacked him in the village or didn't kill anyone at all but just WANTED to, then you can dismiss it a lot easier. The rage is sympathetic and understandable and relatable, but Anakin is still mostly in control of himself. Padme can say that she's felt the same rage and not acted on it, so Anakin is the same. She can insist he would never murder Jedi younglings to Obi-Wan in the next film without sounding like an idiotic hypocrite.

(There's obviously a LOT of other issues with the Tusken Massacre in terms of how the Tuskens are written and presented in this film that could be rewritten to be a lot better and make the Tuskens more sympathetic, etc etc, but that's not really what you're asking me about and I'm not necessarily the right person to speak to that anyway.)

[cringecompanionapologist]

Some Interesting Stuff About the Development of Turlough

I was seriously tempted to call this post "Vis-lore Turlough". I am so fucking normal.

Anyway, I found a website via the TARDIS wiki that goes into detail about the concepts behind and making of Doctor Who episodes. For Mawdryn Undead, this means a discussion of how the character of Turlough was developed.

It started with JNT and Adric not going according to his vision. He was supposed to be a companion you couldn't quite trust, but that didn't really work with him, so it was decided that they'd try the idea again.

Honestly, the "untrustworthy" thing didn't work with Adric because of his age. He had an innocent vibe to him and tended to work best when the fact that he was just a kid trying his best was emphasized.

He'd often sort of go rogue, trying to save the day in his own way, often with some lying and stealing involved, but this seemed to confuse people. Adric became infamous for taking the villain's side, something he only did once. He pretended to take the villain's side in two other stories, but it was a fake-out. In Kinda, since the villain he pretends to side with is obviously insane, the fake-out is also quite obvious. I've seen reviews of State of Decay that don't seem to understand that Adric was supposed to be faking, however. There was also Castrovalva, where Adric was forced to work with the Master, and there's a scene or two where he pretends to cooperate willingly, but it doesn't last very long and it's always clearly a fake-out. Honestly, Adric is actually a pretty bad liar. I'm not sure if he was supposed to come across that way, but it's what we got.

Turlough was an attempt to start over and try the idea again, but with a clear story arc behind it that would make the writers keep that element consistent. Notably, for a character meant as a replacement for Adric, and a character who'd later be introduced as a schoolboy, the original plan for Turlough doesn't seem to specify his age. He's an alien working for the Black Guardian.

Unlike Adric, Turlough wasn't really meant to be a teenager. He originally wasn't going to be introduced as a schoolboy at all. The planned third story of season 20, where he'd be introduced, was The Song of the Space Whale, but the story fell through, eventually ending up as a Lost Story audio with 6 and Peri.

Since this was a last minute change, Turlough wasn't actually aged down. According to Mark Strickson, Turlough is supposed to look like he doesn't belong in the setting, and one of the ways he doesn't belong is by being obviously too old. It's never directly explained to the audience that Turlough is older than he was pretending to be, though it is implied. When given Adric's old room, he complains about it looking like a child's room, because he's had enough of children. So, the clearest answer we get to Turlough's age is "older than Adric".

Having Turlough be a bit older makes the more morally ambiguous part of his character seem more convincing. He's also given a more clear motivation for it. Adric had kinda sorta been an outsider on his homeworld who learned to steal things, but he stole because his big brother did. Adric sort of latched on to any role model he found, so simply traveling with the Doctor would change his moral attitudes to better match him. He's still young enough that his worldview is shaped by adults. Turlough is old enough that, even if he respects and admires someone, he's developed his own view of the universe through his own experiences with it.

Another reoccurring point in Mark Strickson interviews is that he wanted Turlough to be more independent than most companions. He's from an advanced civilization, so he knows how all the tech works. He's familiar with alien species. He doesn't need the Doctor to explain everything to him. But, the show kind of forced the companions into a simplistic role. JNT believed that at the end of the day, the companions were there to ask "what's happening, Doctor?" even in situations where they should definitely already know. They had to stand in for not only an audience of ordinary humans, but an audience primarily of children, so even things that a regular human adult could figure out would sometimes have to be spelled out to them.

Janet Fielding also had a problem with this for feminist reasons. Tegan wasn't supposed to be stupid. This led to a period of time where everyone was going rogue. You had two actors playing their companions as intelligent, independent adults when the script needed the opposite.

I'm calling attention to this because I think it's interesting that this was happening with Five's companions specifically. Five's main fandom characterization is as a dad with all these adopted queer youths. Five does often act like that, but it would be interesting to really look at that in the context of companions that probably wouldn't want to be treated that way. Adric and Nyssa were both introduced as teenagers, though Nyssa seemed to grow up over time. They sort of were his adopted children.

But, Tegan and Turlough enter the TARDIS as adults. The actors' frustrations could actually fit in-character. Tegan feels like she's being talked down to because she's a woman and Turlough had to pass himself off as a schoolboy but is sick of it. Why he doesn't change out of his damn uniform makes no sense with this in-universe. Out of universe, 80s Doctor Who characters were often given limited selections of outfits so they'd be more recognizable. In Turlough's case, he was dressed in black to contrast with the Doctor's white and beige and Tegan's more bold colors. It represented the personality of each character: The Doctor is mild-mannered, Tegan is bold and tends to stand out, Turlough is somber and cynical.

So, over time, Five's companions grow up. Nyssa is with him long enough that she literally comes of age while traveling with him. With Adric and Nyssa gone, we're left with Tegan and Turlough as two adult companions. Five spent years alone with Nyssa, basically acting as her adoptive father, raising her to adulthood, when she decides to leave home. He's not sure how to relate to his companions as adults. They haven't been in quite a while.

In comparing 5's companions to older companions, Adric and Nyssa are more like Susan or Zoe, very smart, but still kids. Tegan is more like Sarah Jane, limited in scientific knowledge by being a 20th century woman, but still clever and not fond of being talked down to. Turlough is more like Romana, another intelligent alien that the Doctor could communicate with as an equal. At least, that's how I would've thought of it if I'd been given these characters

This has devolved into rambling now. I just wanted to analyze 5's companions and "dad" status. I've run out of things to say.

[adultish-momma]

Unsolicited Scrapbook

Listen, if it'd been your first time in front of a good mirror in quite a bit of time, and you'd gone through some pretty messed up shit, you'd be in an introspective mood too.

Or better yet, Yuu catches sight of their reflection and well, reflects.

Warning: Gore, graphic description of wounds, description of violence (enough to get the idea of how those wounds were formed), descriptions of scars and scarring. If it relates to scars and/or wounds and you can be triggered by it, it's probably in here.

A/N: This was one of the first ideas I came up with for this rewrite au. Not this scene exactly, but this concept. This is a game about villains. This is a game that has so much potential to cover dark material. I. Want. Consequences. This is the result. Enjoy.

Admittedly, it was... well it was a lot.

They hadn't truly been faced with this problem before, with the busted mirrors around the dorm that they haven't found the spare change to replace. And it's just been getting so cold that even the thought of running around in anything considered short sends shivers down their spine. So for one reason or another, they've gone half a school year, a whole semester, and now four overblots, without ever having to see a ton of their skin at once.

But now they're at the Scarabia dorm, in this bone-melting heat, faced with a literal wall of gold polished so well it's more reflective than the Dark Mirror, and they'd sooner eat Grimm's tail fire with a side of his fancy cat tuna than even attempt to slip on anything resembling a sleeve.

And they've somehow gone half a school year, a whole semester, and now four overblots without having to face the fact that this was a lot of scarring.

The newest one is, obviously, the worst. Objectively speaking. It's barely scabbed over, still raw and red and swollen, still throbbing, still hot to the touch. Four deep puncture wounds surround their right shoulder, the viper's fangs leaving a perfect imprint of its jaws. Surprisingly enough, this was the only wound an overblotted student had given them that didn't require a trip to the infirmary. The inky venom in their veins had disappeared the moment the overblot was defeated, and most students from the Scalding Sands know how to treat snake bites.

Kalim was very insistent he patch them up personally. He also insisted they let the wound be exposed to the water of the oasis, hence why they've removed his very professional wrap job.

And if seeing the physical evidence of what he did humbles Jamil even the tiniest amount, well they aren't going to complain about that.

At least they look a bit more balanced now with Jamil's contribution to the collection of scars they're beginning to possess. Before the winter break, a small part of them had felt a bit lopsided. True, the scars from Leona's Unique Magic had drastically decreased from their original size right after his overblot. But the patch of lightning strike scars cracking along the skin of their left shoulder and upper arm messed with their overall symmetry. At least now there was something on either side of their neck, although the part of them that seems to care about this (like seriously why does this matter scars are bad things to have wtf brain) will have to ignore the difference in size.

(That'd go over well. 'Hey, Jamil I need you to make your hair do the inky viper thing again and bite me some more so my scars are more equal in size'. Mentally scar the poor guy some more why don't you Yuu.)

The scar that surprises them is the necklace of circles that, well, encircle their throat. The bruising after their fight with Azul had been gnarly, splotches of deep purples and blues mixed with sickly yellows and greens. Deep indents in the shape of octopi suckers among the clear shape of tentacles wrapped around their throats encouraged the early emergence of turtlenecks and scarves into their wardrobe. By the time the bruising had begun to disappear, they'd genuinely needed to cover their neck to fight off the cold, so this is the first time they'd gotten a good look at their neck in a long while.

Hmm. Maybe it's a good thing that Azul's attempt to strangle them left a scar in such a visible place. Maybe next time Azul tries to pull some shady business, they'll rock up to the Mostro Lounge in something low-cut.

Sevens knows Leona only became so cooperative (if you can call it that) during that whole Octavinille debacle because he got an eyeful of all the bandages they were still required to wear lest Professor Crewel literally whip them for disobedience.

Although, if they're being honest, there is one scar they are dreading for people to see. Everyone knows about the other three, at least everyone at the oasis knows about all three. The bandages were too hard to hide, and they all witnessed what happened with Jamil. But they've managed to hide the two scars on their left thigh ever since their first week in this world.

The thing about entry and exit wounds, is they don't scar like you would expect. You would think they'd scar over fairly flat, but they don't. They don't ever fill in correctly, your skin remembers the folding in on itself that it has to do when something pierces it, and your skin remembers exploding outward when something exits it. But the wounds where Riddle's thorn had staked their thigh and left a hollow straight through their leg had easily been covered by pants all year. Only those who had been there for that battle had seen the true damage done by the enraged Roseheart.

But unlike everyone else who they have helped overcome an Overblot, Yuu has watched Riddle Rosehearts actively try to change his ways, learn from his mistakes, and take some personal accountability for the havoc he wreaked. So they kept the scar he gave them hidden, not wanting to remind others, Riddle, or even themself of just how dangerous he could be.

And now, because, again, they'd rather lick Crowley's desk than entertain the thought of pants in this insufferable desert heat, now that scar was going to be on display. They were going to get questions. They were going to have to relive that memory, that phantom pain over and over again.

They were going to have to relive all of those memories again.

The ripping sensation, the heavy feeling of something foreign, the absolute gushing of blood. The dry cracking, the peeling, the flaking apart at the literal seams. The threat of bones snapping, the drowning on dry land, the fear of a lung collapsing. The fire of acid in your veins, the teeth tearing flesh, the invasive screaming in their head.

All of it. Every time someone saw their scars, every time someone asked a stupid question, every time they saw someone else stuck in their own memories of Yuu's scars, they'd be stuck reliving all of that pain again.

With a heavy sigh, already feeling the exhaustion running through their every fiber, they finally drag their eyes away from their own reflection. The first thing they see is Grimm. Looking at them. Looking at their scars. A haunted, faraway look in his eyes.

Well, that settles it. Something must be done about these nuisances. Sooner rather than later.

[cheerycherrycandy-resurrected]

Ash @rainsbasspick wanted some comfort ghoul/ghoulette/papa thoughts so here, have a few of my thoughts on era 4 ghouls, copia, and found family from the notes pile! Hope these distract you a little bit 🖤

I like to think that despite the various upsets in their lives before, they have each other as pack now, and will go to hell and back to protect it.

Below the cut bc I got a bit carried away (no surprise there then):

I think Copia worked really hard when he took over to make his little band of ghouls and ghoulettes feel safe, and just as important, permanent. He had felt temporary, like a replacement for the popular Papa III, and I think he saw that reflected in his ghouls at first. I imagine he took advantage of his takeover to enact some changes around the ministry to make the ghouls feel more equal, everyday things like having the Abbey ghouls and Siblings work together rather than in separate teams. Obviously the new masks helped too, turns out people aren't as afraid of ghouls when they can see their expressions.

With the band, I see him working to set up some kind of "retirement plan" for lack of a better word, so the ghouls no longer in the band could stay together in their pack. Copia finds a way for them to work behind the scenes for the band, rather than having to pick between the Abbey jobs no human wants to do, or returning to their old lives in the pit.

Meanwhile I think the ghouls, especially Dew, see Copia as one of their own, someone who was pulled into everything whether he wanted to be or not, and is trying to make the best of it. He is pack. I always see Dew and Copia as having this special kinship, they've both experienced this feeling of otherness that no one else understands quite the same, especially after Dew's elemental transition and Copia's remolding into Papa IV. I also see them both as quite shy with people outside of their pack, although they hide it in different ways.

I imagine they ran into each other many times in the chapel late at night, seeking affirmations from below that they were doing the right thing. The Dark One may have stayed silent, but I think they got talking, and learned to feel the acceptance they needed from each other.

I see Copia reassuring Dew that his talents were what brought on the Ministry's demand that he play lead guitar, and not to do with him or his elemental capabilities. He helps Dew feel valued as the ghoul he is, and as a friend too, not just for the faceless musical talent the Clergy may have seen him as. Likewise, Dew sees all the same insecurities in Copia and makes sure he knows that despite the whispers and Nihil's comments, he is more than deserving as his place at the head of the church. Dew is adamant that despite any talk of him being weak, this perceived weakness just shows he has a heart. Him being too influenced by his feelings is a strength, that all the ghouls and congregation appreciate his humanity and the feeling of home he creates.

They're both probably quite nervous heading out on their first era-4 tour: new ghouls, new outfits, no Papa. But I see the pair of them huddled together over a phone on the tour bus, watching the videos of them in awe and disbelief at first, at later with pride at how well they're received. I'm sure Dew takes great pleasure in showing Copia all the thirsty (so, so, thirsty...) videos their congregation make of him, teasing him slightly in a way only Dew is allowed to. Likewise I imagine Copia returning the favour, laughing at how everyone seems to think Dew is as angry as his on-stage persona when really it's all bravado and a projected stage confidence. It doesn't stop Dew from smirking and snapping his fingers to make a small flame dance on them, raising an eyebrow as he waves them a bit too close to Copia's moustache in retaliation.

I think the rest of the pack feel the kinship with Copia too, but maybe in different ways. For Rain for example, as one of the ghouls summoned by Copia, I think he seems him as more of a guardian or father-figure. Older, wiser, a protector of the pack from any more human problems the Clergy may throw their way (but better believe Rain has any more physical threats covered perfectly fine by himself though..!). Aether and Mountain maybe took a bit longer to feel the pack connection - at first he was just their new boss, but after they saw how much he helped Dew, they quickly grew to respect him for the loyal friend he is.

I don’t think Swiss has had many thoughts on the matter. Dude got pulled outta the pits by a guy with cool facepaint and handed a pretty guitar. Neat!

The ghoulettes loved Copia from the second they were summoned - they adore their goofy rat man! I imagine both of them can often be found in his office, sprawled across various surfaces trying to coax him into taking a break, making him tea, and rubbing his stiff neck when he doesn’t take one.

Opposite to Rain, I don’t think they see him as their Protector, I think they more want to protect him - real big sister vibes y’know? Like Rain, they have no doubts in their physical prowess against a threat, but unlike Rain they don’t doubt their ability in a mental fight either. Sister Imperator is genuinely confused how Copia manages to work in that office, every time she enters it’s almost unnaturally cold, and there’s always a strange low rumbling sound… Very disconcerting. She makes a point not to go in there too often. Mission success! Cirrus will bring the temperature back to normal, and Cumulus will stop growling, and they’ll cackle to themselves as Copia rolls his eyes and tries not to look too encouraging of their behaviour. He adores them too, they act like the older siblings he always wished he had growing up.

All in all, I think the older ghouls, Papa, and the newer summons are a real little family, even if they’re a bit on an unconventional one! <3

[1moreff-creator]

DR:OS - Prologue Bonus Scenes First Impressions

DROS content… yay :D As you might expect, this’ll probably be shorter than most of my other posts, given the length of the Bonus Scenes, but I’m sure there’ll be quite a bit for me to talk about anyways :)

I actually sent in a form for this! I wonder if any of the ones I chose will end up here. We’ll see!

CW: None (well, possibly implied medical malpractice depending on what Vivi’s deal is, but I can’t tell for sure :v)

Vivi & Kennedy

Hey! This is one of the ones I sent in! I figured it might be funny to see one the most obviously weird and suspicious talents (Mad Doctor) interact with the Conspiracy Theorist, though I’m fine with whatever direction the convo takes. I just like both these guys :)

Vivi PoV let’s go.

“Kennedy: Kennedy Rey, Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist, any pronouns. You seem to have a lot of good ideas. I hope we can work together moving forward.” Yay friendship :D

“[Vivi thoughts]: A “Conspiracy” Theorist… that’s someone who it could be really useful to have on our team, and someone who probably has a lot of ideas! I wonder what his area of expertise is…?” Cool to see Kennedy’s not immediately being dismissed, but I guess it makes sense with Vivi’s whole deal.

“Kennedy: Mad Doctor, huh?

I frown.

Vivi: What about it?

Kennedy: How’d you earn the title?

Vivi: Well… I think they gave it to me for my more… innovative…? Methods. I don’t think it’s really fair, though. I mean, all of my methods work! Why are they considered “mad” if they work…?” Vivi really seems to resent the title, which I guess makes sense if, like they say, all their methods work. 

“Kennedy nods, lost in thought. 

Kennedy: What do you think about the staff?” This is a change in topic, isn't it? I wonder what Kennedy was lost in thought about!

“Vivi [talking about the staff’s mask]: So, does that imply an audience beyond the sixteen of us?

Kennedy’s eyes light up.

Kennedy: An audience beyond us… that’s a good idea. There are cameras positioned everywhere. This… if this is being filmed and marketed, what does that say…?” Damn they figured that one out fast, if it’s true. Hot damn.

“Kennedy: I’m glad to meet a like-minded individual here. Everyone else is thinking too far inside the box.

Vivi: Thinking outside the box is my specialty! It sounds like it might be yours, too.” I really like this partnership! They’re both equally insane so it balances out, it’s really fun. Very glad I asked for this one :D

Antonia & Paris

I also sent this one in! Antonia content let’s go!!!

“[Antonia Thoughts]: I wrap up my conversation in the Courtyard and do my best to look natural, twirling my hair around my finger “absentmindedly.” Someone’s listening in. It would be unfair to let her get all the information without getting any myself, wouldn’t it?” She’s so good actually. Pretending not to notice when Paris is listening in… Antonia’s fantastic :D

“Paris: Slay!” Antonia don’t- Don’t take this literally please xD

“[Antonia’s thoughts]: It makes sense that a gossip would be looking for as much information as possible, but I obviously can’t tell her everything about myself. Besides, the point of this conversation is for me to learn more about her.” This is before the killing game even starts by the way. Antonia’s just Like This and that’s great. Mind you, she’s not even the only one (see: Cass and even Ellis to an extent), which is even greater.

“Paris: Aw, thanks babe! I do travel a lot, but I don’t recognize this place either.” Lore (Paris travels) :O

“[Antonia’s Thoughts]: If this were truly a hostage situation, I would question the reason for some of the choices of our captors. [...] Honestly, if that’s the case, why not just start and end with Harper…?” I did notice Harper had a lot of followers in the Twitter followers ask, so between that and Antonia’s comment it does seem ve’s pretty rich. Though Paris also had quite a lot of followers, didn’t she?

“Paris: Well, duh! All my followers know that there’s no replacing me~” How do I keep commenting on stuff right before it gets brought up.

“Antonia: Your followers? What for?

Paris: Oh, they just love me! I post pictures and videos and talk with them and everything, and they give me all their love in return.” Well, there’s the answer for why she had that many followers. I wonder if she’s more a blogger or a drama influencer. The things she says sorta fit blogger better, but the talent would imply drama. Something to think about maybe.

“Paris: Yeah… Do you have anyone at home you’re worried about? Anyone you’re missing?” Very interesting question… Will Antonia answer honestly?

“Antonia: Well, I’m sure my sister would be worried if I disappeared for too long.” Antonia lore??? I’m not fully discounting a lie, but I can’t fully see what the point of that would be. So for now, lore it is!

“Paris: Uh, duh! I have, like, tons of friends. I’m sure they wouldn’t know what to do without me.” Can’t help but note the lack of family mention here. Might mean nothing, but it’s worth noting down I guess.

“Paris: Speaking of friends… anyone in the killing game you’ve gotten to know particularly well so far?

Switching tactics, I see. That might work on someone less suspecting, but I’m not about to let her read me better than I can read her.” I’m so glad I asked for this, the mind games are insane and I’m grinning silly xD

“Antonia: I’m only just getting to know the others. I wouldn’t say there’s anyone who I immediately clicked with, but if we’re forced to stay here for longer, that may change.

Paris: Mmm. Well, if you’re ever curious about someone, let me know. I make it a project to learn about everyone else, you know~

Antonia: Of course.” Now I could see that thing about not clicking with anyone being a lie, since there’s zero chance in my mind Antonia would actually answer that truthfully if she really had clicked with someone. However, I imagine she isn’t lying, the truth just happens to be the most convenient thing for her to say. And Paris’ project is fun, I wonder if it’ll end up being important in plot/trials?

“[Antonia’s Thoughts]: We both stare at each other for a moment. If I had to give the sentiment a name, I’d call it “mutual respect.””

“If she hasn’t, she should try playing poker.” I am really glad I asked for this one, these two are on the same wavelength and it’s great to see :D

Grace & Cass

I didn’t ask for this one, but it’s quite intriguing, I like it! These two also happen to be mine and accirax’s pre-CH1 mastermind guesses, which is funny.

“I’m 14/15 introductions in, and it’s around 7:45 PM.” I like that just from this line I can guess this is a Grace PoV :p

“Cass: It’s about time I met an Ultimate who actually creates something. My talent is pretty useless without anything to market, so I was hoping I’d be able to help at least one of you with my services. As it turns out, the last person I met was the one who best fit the description.” Oh, yeah! I did think about this at some point, how Cass’ comment that no one had talents that were about making anything kinda didn’t work with Grace, so it makes perfect sense she met them last!

“Grace: You’re quite eager.

Cass: Well, would you be interested?” Grace is right, it’s interesting that Cass is this committed to agent work. I guess she’s an Ultimate for a reason, but I have to wonder if there’s other reasons, like money issues…

“Grace: I’ve just opened my own shop.” Grace lore :O Sorta anti-mm coded, unless they’re just lying I guess :p {Just so we're clear I bring up mm stuff because of the aforementioned funny coincidence with the mm guesses :p}

“Cass: Well, in that case, I could help you find clients for commissions, or just generally broaden your marketing. Keep me in mind if you’re ever looking for someone.” And this is sorta anti-mm coded for Cass lmao.

[The conversation about goals and wasting time] Really interesting perspectives, and this already seems like a fun little connection between these two. 

“Cass: I don’t waste time talking to just anyone if I don’t believe it’ll help me achieve my long-term goals. But if I decide it’s worth it, I’m not easily swayed. Right now, I’ve decided I want to talk to you, and that’s the best use of my time.” In particular, it’s funny we’re talking so much about time to the Clockmaker, who is very “no-time wasting”-minded themselves :p

“Grace: What are your long-term goals, if I might ask?

They smile.

Cass: I’m not gonna go around talking about that kind of thing immediately, especially not with cameras everywhere. I’ve got big plans once I’m back out in the real world. But, foundations are laid here.” … ???

Well, very glad someone asked for this pair! Cass was the character I was most lost on in terms of what their deal was, but this sounds like it could be a pretty fun thing to explore moving forward!

“[Grace’s Thoughts]: It’s nice to be told directly what motivates someone. It makes it far easier to predict their behavior, and eliminates the need for some future conversation. If I can trust it, that is.” Everyone thinks and talks like they’re playing mind games 24/7 what is this. I love it xD

“Grace: It’s 7:56, and it takes around 3 minutes to get from here to [the Movie Theater].

Cass: Right. I suppose you are the one to listen to as an expert on time.

Grace: Clockmaker’s intuition. I hate being late, so we should head out now.” Sounds like a quirk that might be useful in trials actually, maybe I should note that one down… 

Actually yeah, let’s do that! Apart from the “canon notes”, the ones that Ellis keeps in the e-Handbook, I’ll add my own set of notes I feel could end up being important somehow, be it character analysis or actual murder mystery. You know, just for fun :)

Non-Canon Note: Clockmaker’s Intuition - Grace can seemingly accurately tell how much time a task will take on intuition alone.

“Grace: Right. I suppose I will keep your name in mind in the future, if it’s so important to you.

They smile.

Cass: I’ll keep yours in mind too, then.“ Aw, neat duo :)

-

Well, I’m really happy two of the three pairs I sent in got a Bonus Scene, they were awesome! The third one I sent in was Taylor & Vanessa if you’re curious, chosen based on their little interaction at the end of the prologue. The others were just characters I was curious about and thought they’d make fun duos: the crazy talent people (Kennedy & Vivi) and the social game talent duo (Antonia & Paris). I enjoyed them a lot, and I also really enjoyed the Grace & Cass one! Really neat little activity, can’t wait for the first episode of CH1! :D See ya’! 

[livlepretre]

I’ve been disgusted with Klaus for MANY things in this fic, but forcing himself on Stefan when he’s a broken, crying mess really takes the cake. Then he just tosses him aside once he realizes he can’t be the Elena replacement he wants, driving him to possibly kill himself and no one but Elena gives a shit.

Mmmmm it was definitely dubious, but I don’t think he was forcing himself on Stefan; I think Stefan was broken and vulnerable and Klaus was manipulative of the situation and Stefan needed any life ring he could find and so cling to Klaus for it. He didn’t say no to any of the sex, just as he has not said no throughout the fic. That’s part of the ambiguity here. It’s fucked up, but Stefan is also very much so consenting (even if the fact that he MUST be there in the first place negates that largely)

Now, to be crystal clear, obviously none of these dynamics are okay in real life, and they’re toxic and abusive as fuck. But this is vampire fiction, and horror, and so all of those things get tossed out the window to explore these dark themes and moral questions. The question of consent is different in a story about two vampires than it is between two humans, just as it is ALSO very different between two fictional humans vs two real humans.

I’m not saying any of this to excuse Klaus; I have very consciously decided to make him unapologetically terrible, which I think there is quite a bit of evidence for in the show, and just not to shy away from it or dim it down at all. It was supposed to be a stomach-churning scene.

As for who cares… that’s Elena’s perception, certainly. Everything in this fic is her perception and hers alone— the only “facts” are the dialogue of other characters, although she frequently adds on her commentary of what she thinks they mean, and she is frequently wrong. FE works on two valences; Elena’s interpretation, which is the way we get it the first time around, vs the version where, on rereads, the reader understands the motives of the others and their emotions and can see what they really mean vs what Elena is convinced they mean

Great example is Rebekah in this chapter. Give her until the end of the next chapter and then, if you care too, reread this chapter (or any other recent chapter) and see if her dialogue changes meaning. I think a lot of it will hit very differently once certain things come to light.

[judehatesmaths]

Omggg please tell me what happens in the book in the late 50s? The I love you’s and the second break up? You can do a spoiler thingy and a drop down so people don’t accidentally read it when they don’t want to 😊 (my anxiety needs preparation even though I think the storyline will differ from the book a bit considering Hawk isn’t quite the same in the show as he’s written in the book from what I’ve gathered?)

Okay okay! I literally can't resist talking about this so yea spoilers down below! (It's longer than expected God I'm sorry xd)

In the book, Tim comes from the army back to DC and Hawk finds out bc Mary, who has been writing back and forth to Tim that whole time, confirms it. Hawk is very "happy?" pleased about it and puts up a job offer some time later.

In the book remember Tim doesn't work for McCarthy, but one senator Potter. Later, Hawk is also less surprised when Tim shows up for the job interview. They honestly don't say anything too important to eachother, just that Tim hadn't actually been in Hawk's office before and also Tim got him another book, for his last birthday. The book has another message just like the first, but now instead of the "I got the job, you're wonderful" it says "I really want the job, it would be wonderful"

Hawk grabs Tim and guides them both to another department at State that's working on a refugee relief act, which Hawk knows Tim is really interested bc his boy just wants to help, and presents Tim to the guy there who tells them to leave his resumé. Hawk tells him they'll do it later and Tim is confused bc like why can't he do the interview now? But Hawk insists and takes Tim away.

He takes Tim to a building that's inhabited that Mary's ex boyfriend?I don't remember who he was exactly, but the thing is the store is not occupied. So Hawk takes Tim upstairs to the attic where he had prepared a small place for them to be. Tim is very happy about this bc it means it's for him and Hawk has never brought anyone here before.

It's in this scene where, when Hawk brings him some milk which Tim accidentally spills, Tim cries and confess saying "I love you, Hawk".

Hawk hugs Tim very fiercely and, knowing he shouldn't say it but not because he doesn't feel it, says it back. "I love you too."

And then the months go by and Hawk has his daughter but he keeps the affair going on with Tim and tim is actually happy and doesn't really care that now its an actual affair. Then the news come that he didn't get the job at State but it's okay because he has Hawk right?

.no.

Apparently, Hawk had gone to the guys at the department and "outed" Tim, saying it would be a risk to hire him. So they don't hire him but Hawk tells Mary to tell that to Tim, tell him the truth. And to make it hard on him. He wants to break up, definitely this time, with him.

And like here is where I honestly don't get Hawk and I'm very glad the show is changing this, bc I hate this Hawk. What he did was very mean, from what I understood and remember from the book, he breaks up bc he starts thinking ahead in both him and Tim's future together, knowing that what he feels about him will be replaced by a feeling of almost obligation?to be with the boy.

So yeah, Mary tells Tim, who is obviously heartbroken, and then he doesn't see Hawk until McCarthys funeral. Here Tim goes to a cathedral and Hawk finds him there, both completely alone. Tim hands him the half sliced dome (the one in the show we know it's Kenny's) and Hawk takes it. He then grabs Tim and hugs him, fiercely and says, "I'm sorry" to which Tim replies "For what?" And Hawk doesn't get to reply but he wants to say "For everything."

and then the book ends. We get to the epilogue and find out Tim died, not of aids but bone cancer. Hawk talks to Mary and she sends him a sketch Tim had done: it was of the attic he and Hawk had spent time in, where they said I love you. Below, Tim had written :Let him know I was happy enough. Make it easy on him.

Aaaaand Hawk places it with the paperweight on top, apparently he'd gone everywhere with it.

[heatwa-ves]

sorry i know this is coming from nowhere but please tell me about izumi i deleted the game before i ever learned anything about him 💔

oh my god ok. don't apologise I'm always always ready to infodump about my favs 💖

so. izumi is part of knights ofc and he's actually the person who made the unit along with leo back when their previous unit chess broke down. long story. he's also a model and has been modelling since his childhood which is where he first met naru and makoto.

he is uh. a bitch. in the nicest way possible he's such a bitch. in lionheart he describes himself as someone who's unable to be honest with himself so he comes off really harsh and rude but he does genuinely care about the people he's close to especially knights and also makoto.. sora describes him as having a very kind color and if sora says it you know it's true

his relationship with makoto is uhhhh. obsessive. they were really close as kids when they were modelling but lost contact due to I believe izumi changing agencies? something like that. makoto quit modelling and now they're at yumenosaki together and after the events of checkmate (izuleo relationship got really codependent and they were doing Very Bad mentally and leo ended up not coming to school for months bc he was Really Depressed) izumi got even more attached and obsessive over makoto as both a replacement for leo leaving and, to quote the wiki, was depending on him for happiness. also he kidnapped makoto at one point. anyway makoto was obviously Very Uncomfortable with this. over time now izumi is a bit more stable nd leo is back and they're less unhinged he's giving makoto more space and their relationship is less. yeah. but still not perfect like izumi is still a little obsessive.

I'd talk in detail about his relationship with leo but I wrote another whole thing on that so I'll just talk a bit, basically they met in first year became friends and it developed into leo seeing izumi as his muse and izumi relying on this for validation because he is honestly kinda insecure but would never let anyone know that bla bla bla leo left bla bla leo came back and now they're good! izumi still blames himself for leo breaking during the war and leo feels guilty for hurting izumi and izumi still struggles with loving and being loved but he's learning and they're messy but they're trying 💖 me when characters are healing and growing as people... aughgh... love them to death I reread lionheart earlier and was having a category 5 izumi moment he makes me feel unwell...

rn he and leo are living together in florence where they're working on modelling and composing respectively and they come back to japan semi frequently for knights activities

he's also really good friends with naru they also met as kids when modelling and have remained friends she will counter his bitchiness with her own <3 but they do genuinely have a level of understanding of eachother that no one else gets like there's a few scenes in euthanasia that really show it especially at the end where they talk about a shared desire to be adored.. one of my fav scenes in the entirety of enstars I love you euthanasia

izumi was really spoiled as a kid and his parents were really protective over him (only child moment) but because of that they were always the ones deciding things for him and he had very little agency of his own, he says in next door how his parents just wanted an ideal doll like child who's do as he was told, they loved him but they didn't love HIM if that makes any sense.

he's a huge tsundere (they say it about him in canon im allowed to say it too) even to leo who he's closest to like for leos birthday line he says "I just happened to be in the country it's not like i came just for you..." and near the end of main story he says texting leo is annoying because he takes a while to reply and loses his phone and I don't like waiting it's not that I'm worried when he takes long to reply...

also he is canonically a cat person and the official character introduction essentially describes him as cat coded which brings me great joy and he hates the summer... just like me fr.. and more fun facts he plays tennis and can knit!! a girlie of many talents!

anyway I think I will leave it here for now if you want to know more I am ALWAYS happy to talk about izumi.. he's my favorite character of all time and means the world to me

[rocksrntpeople]

Rewatching Iron Man

I hadn’t read or seen much comic book stuff when I was invited to watch Iron Man with my friends at the movie theater back in 2008. I’d seen and enjoyed the DC cartoons as a kid and of course I knew of Iron Man, but I didn’t know anything about him except that he looked like a rubber chicken version of Dr. Doom.

All this to say, Iron Man launched me into the world of comic books and superheroes. I was hooked from then on and I still love comics today. This movie quite literally changed my life, even if the change wasn’t as profound as most life changes.

Obviously, I’m biased.

But then something genuinely surprising happened.

Somewhere along the line I’ve forgotten how to put down my critical analysis of media and not only was I pleasantly surprised at the great writing still hitting the mark, but I was able to notice the superb cinematography, something I’d missed through no less than 3 rewatches. I mean, of course there’s the surface-level awesomeness like the entire opening sequence with its fluid transitions or the perfectly tense scene where Pepper is collecting data from Obadiah’s files, but even beyond this facade lies near perfection.

That moment when the missile lands next to Tony in the desert, the camera does a short, quick zoom with a zshooom sound and it’s just so reminiscent of comics and the idea of being hyper-aware in a high-stress moment.

When Obadiah has Tony paralyzed and is giving his evil monologue, everything is perfect. The angled shot, the lighting, RDJ’s violet veins, Bridge’s cartoon-villain dress and demeanor. It all comes together in this scene and despite the minimal camera work, the room seems to be spinning as the monologue goes on.

These are still pretty surface level things, but throughout the film there’s just a masterful execution of every element — lighting, costume & makeup, camera angles — just everything is absolutely seamless for 99% of the movie. It’s kind of insane to think about a blockbuster superhero movie being so technically well-executed!

One thing in particular that caught my attention and stayed pretty true throughout the movie is the fact that this movie doesn’t follow Tony Stark. In almost every scene with Tony, the camera is following another character. This does two things: it lets the audience know things that Tony doesn’t, which helps build tension, yadda, yadda; and it makes a distinction between Tony Stark and Iron Man. Because when Tony Stark is in his suit, then the camera begins to follow him. Even the final shot of the movie plays to this, finally — finally — focusing on Tony Stark and Tony Stark alone, as he declares he is Iron Man.

Fucking chef’s kiss. Are you kidding me?! This movie was so fucking good; that’s why it’s one of my favorite MCU movies of all time, despite being the first. (We don’t talk about Hulk in this household.)

Robert Downey Jr. is the perfect Tony Stark. I found it a bit funny that at times the makeup crew tries to harken Downey back to his teen acting days with the extremely glossy eyelashes, but other than that it holds up overall and I would even go as far as to say that we probably haven’t had a stand alone superhero movie that was as good as Iron Man since Iron Man. 

It’s just so damn unique; I can see exactly how it gripped the world with its melding of humor and action and reality and just everything we were all feeling at that moment, without shoving it down our throats that this is what we needed. Like, god, can’t one of these rich guys turn good instead of evil for once? Can’t someone get fed up and save us already? Are we finally getting a superhero movie as good as what’s on WB Kids??

And then Iron Man swoops in, dripping in sarcasm and long-lost teen lust, acting as though it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to be a rich guy in a mech suit, and ultimately delivering us unto a new age of entertainment.

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The elephant in the room

Okay, yes, let’s talk about Rhodey. I remember when he was replaced; I was so upset. I felt that Terrence Howard was the absolute best choice for Rhodey and that he did an impeccable job opposite RDJ. Rewatching the film…god damn it, it’s still very true! Why’d you have to do it, Terrence? Why?! You were beautiful as you soared so high…

Listen, I like Don Cheadle as much as the next person, and did back in 2009 too. But he is not a good Rhodey. I feel like there are many other black actors who would have done the role better and I half-remember people throwing around Denzel Washington’s name as a “better” suggestion. Personally, I’d have gone with someone closer to Howard’s look, like maybe Jamie Foxx or someone.

The fact of the matter is that while the character is a military guy, one of the main reasons he’s friends with Stark is because he’s a progressive, more laid-back and approachable kind of military guy; he’d almost have to be for his work as a liaison with civilian organizations. Both Cheadle and Washington have such stern looks…it just doesn’t fit. (To be clear, I think Cheadle has done a good job with the role; I just think Howard would’ve done it perfectly. God it hurt to hear him say, “Next time, baby.”)

I mean, this is just my opinion and I know that Cheadle has millions of fans for his role, but I just don’t see it and never have. Terrence Howard is part of what makes the first Iron Man so great. But, c’est la vie.

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So, Iron Man — Great Success! 

I guess I should rate these but I’m afraid there’s going to be a trend…

10/10 for Iron Man!!!

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Next week, I’ll see The Incredible Hulk, which I am only watching out of respect for the timeline.

But actually, I liked this movie well enough and thought Edward Norton was a great casting choice. We’ll see if it holds up because it’s been probably a decade since I last saw it.

[brightatmidnight]

The Tutorial Revamp Update for The Chaser’s Voyage (Version 0.5.0.03) is live!

The next big update for The Chaser's Voyage is live! We MAJORLY revamped our tutorial and in this week's post I go into all the big changes.

Hello everyone! Here's another surprise big update, we've reworked our entire tutorial! We were planning on finishing up our client updates, but as Eos mentioned in last week's blog post, we realized we needed to rethink how we did our tutorial. There's quite a few changes to go over so let's jump into it!

We changed a BUNCH of our tutorial, starting most obviously with our newly designed Prompts! We wanted something that better fit our game's visual style and had a bit more pop to them, so we redesigned the prompt windows. Besides just the visual look, we also made two other changes to our prompts. We made it clearer what we wanted the player to do, sometimes separately from how to do it, and always with an underline to draw attention to it. We also made prompts no longer close on their own once the player satisfied the prompt. Instead there are now "Close Prompt" notices that allow the player to close the prompt after they've done the required action, but also allow them to continue reading the prompt if they want. There are more prompts now than there used to be, but teaching the player how to properly play with clarity is very important! In order to add more clarity, we also color coded the systems in the prompts and added icons where applicable, to draw a better connection between the game UI and the prompt instructions.

Next obvious change is to your crewmate Argi. We realized that while we really like all our lore, the tutorial is not the place to give it. It's better to just get into the action! So Argi's lines have been changed and reduced to help the tutorial flow better. For those who like our lore as much as we do, don't worry, Argi still has plenty of character.

The final big change is to the tutorial scenes. The original tutorial had 6 scenes: Introduction, System Repairs, Imperial Fleet, Debris Field, Battleship Pursuit, and Pirates. We've not only changed the order of these scenes, we've also changed some of them, and added a couple more new scenes.

• The 1st still goes over the piloting basics and system management, but with MUCH less talking now.

• The 2nd scene is mostly the same, except we decided to better teach the player the relationship between the Auxiliary Systems and repairs.

• For the 3rd scene we have the player navigate an asteroid field, focusing on obstacle evasion. This replaces our debris field which was was more focused on general system management.

• We added a new encounter for the 4th scene, Imperial Sentries in a Radiation Storm. This is especially important as it gives the player much needed info on how to combat rad storms, as well as showing them the effects the storm can have on certain obstacles.

• The 5th scene is another new one, a bounty hunter! Bounty hunters tend to be a bit easier to deal with than Pirates (in one off encounters), so we wanted to give the player some experience with fighting enemy combatants before the final scene of the tutorial. This also serves as a way to teach the player about enemy weapon types, which we didn't go over before.

• The 6th is the new home of the Imperial Fleet. We still wanted to teach the player how to communicate with this scene, but since we added more combat encounters to the tutorial, we also expanded on this scene and made it the docking and hull repair tutorial. This gets the player topped off for the final two challenging encounters.

• The penultimate scene is mostly unchanged, the player is taught how to survive an encounter with a pursuing UGS Battleship!

• The final scene is still the "test" of the tutorial, the Pirate Attack! This encounter is unchanged as it was hard enough before, but now the player should be better prepared for it after getting through this new and improved tutorial.

In addition to the tutorial changes are a couple of smaller quality of life additions. the bigger of the two is for gamepad users. We've added arrows to the Remaining Power section of the UI to show when the Increase Power and Decrease Power inputs are active. It's a pretty neat little change that helps give some good input feedback. Secondly, the Battleship Distance screen now shows wire frames for both the battleship and the player's ship, to make it clearer how the distance info is displayed.

And to wrap thing up as always, there's the bug fixes! There were quite a few we found over the last couple months, and with your help, we can find more!

You can read the full patch notes here and can follow The Chaser’s Voyage and Bright at Midnight on Twitter and join our Discord for more news and to give feedback! If you’d like to play The Chaser’s Voyage, you can buy it while we’re in Early Access on Steam!

-Cameron

[shuuji-thoughts]

on Sweet Bean - Naomi Kawase (2015)

Initial Impressions

This was also a pretty mixed experience. The contents on their own are quite wholesome and laid-back, the narrative is easy to follow, and it's consistently well presented. That being said, it was kind of boring and predictable as fuck. The only thing I didn't quite see coming was the Leprocy thing, despite it clearly being hinted at from the beginning, but that was the one thing I actually really appreciated about the film, as I can't really think of another piece of media that centers around leprocy off the top of my head, so it's nice to see some rare representation.

Further Critique

I genuinely can't think of much to say about this one. Theme-wise it's pretty straightforward. Tokue frequently talks about freedom, the freedom of youth, the freedom to fly like a bird, the freedom to be out in the sun, (not so) subtly hinting at the heavily restricted life she's been forced to live locked up in a facility since she was a child due to her illness. She also talks a lot about the importance of appreciating the rich sensory experiences available all around us, namely those found in nature, and frequently comments on the beauty of the cherry blossom trees near the shop (potential impermanence undertones???). Oddly, there's not nearly as much of an emphasis on food as one might expect given the subject material, but I would imagine Tokue's deep appreciation for An ties back to the whole appreciation of sensory experiences thing.

There were certainly a lot of things I found a bit odd about this film. Obviously, there's the aforementioned dragged-out feeling present throughout, particularly because of just how much time is spent in that cramped kitchen, leaving much to be desired in terms of visual variety. Additionally, Sentaro's character personally felt extremely odd and underutilized. He was shown experiencing intense turmoil at multiple points throughout the film, but to me it felt like those scenes weren't at all sufficiently built up to. I had almost no reason to sympathize with him until way towards the end of the film when the owner brings in his young future replacement and talks of plans to remodel the shop. His backstory too felt extremely underutilized and poorly explained, and I wish we would have gotten a little more exploration of his character, as that would have certainly gone a long way toward making this film less bland. Now that I think about it, that was probably my main issue with the film. It just doesn't really do anything with its characters. Lots of things happen, but nobody really grows and changes much, nor do they like deal with the shit in their past or anything like that, they are kinda just mostly static throughout. Of course, by the end of the film, Sentaro is seen working at his own stall, but it's unclear how that happened or why, so I didn't really see the point in showing that? Idk maybe I missed something, but for me at least the film felt generally lacking in a lot of areas. Overall, a moderately wholesome and enjoyable experience with some much needed representation and a basic, albiet cute message. 6/10