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lavishedinjimin · 5 years ago

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Room 109 -> jjk (m)

↳ Pairing: jungkook x reader ↳ genre: werewolf!au ↳ word count: 6.7k ↳ warnings: alpha!jungkook, omega!reader, omega is in heat, mating, knotting, dirty talk, female solo masturbation, unprotected sex (stay safe!), jk is proud of his size lol, multiple orgasms, pregnancy kink — synopsis: Having Jungkook as your apartment buddy was a lot to get used to. But with one early day, your heat comes up much stronger than usual, and you were desperate for an alpha’s touch.

A/N: I hope this oneshot can heal all of your thirsty, sexually frustrated souls. Also, this is my first time writing about a/b/o fics so please go easy on me. Please enjoy!

Let’s face it, your college entrance exams were hard enough but finding a decent apartment that was close to your university and wasn’t gender-neutral was harder.

Almost all of the closest residencies were full and booked of students that were about to experience a new chapter of their life. College. You get stressed very easily, and the fact that there are almost no more apartments that accepts only girls freaks you out. You are not going to share a goddamn room with a boy. Hell no.

“Mom…” you mewl as you cradled closer to your mother’s side with your laptop in front of you, “They’re all full.” You whimpered when the words ‘Sorry! We are fully booked right now! Try searching for other apartments that attain your satisfaction.’

“No baby,” she hushes you sweetly, wrapping an arm around your small body while caressing your arm. “Don’t give up just yet.”

Trust me, you were close to giving up.

It wasn’t about the point that you hate boys – you don’t. You just don’t trust them. It’s hard to earn your trust, and your parents raised you like that. Your pack had a history of betrayal and treachery from other wolves, and was once a powerful pack was now fragile and weak. Most of your friends were Omegas like you, but they have Alphas to look after them.

The only Alpha friend… well – he’s not necessarily a friend was a guy from your high school, Hyejun.

He once was a part of the pack but with the influence of his father, they left, leaving everyone in a state of confusion. Packs were always there for each other, it was their sole promise. They were the first ones to leave the group. It was surprising that your father didn’t go to try and kill them instantly. Strangely enough, Hyejun never stopped looking after you. Whenever an Alpha tries to make a move on you, Hyejun would somehow pop in and protect you. That was in high school, though. And now you were in college and you had no idea where he is now.

Just the thought of sharing a whole residence with an Alpha creates creepy tingles down your spine.

It was now a week before school starts and you still have no place to live. Without further thinking, you huffed and opened your laptop.

‘Gender neutral apartments near me’

Your eyes widened when you opened a website that was full of apartments that were still available. “Mom,” you called out, and within no more than five seconds she was right behind you, bending down as she rests her hands on the couch.

“Oh, darling! You’ve finally found a – oh.”

“Mom, I know, it’s the only ones that aren’t fully booked.” You spoke desperately.

“Y/n, daughter,” she sighs and walks around to sit on the space beside you. “If there’s no more choice then I guess we have to take the chances.”

“T-Take the chances of what?”

You mother smiles at you, “You know what. It’s better than to live so far away from your school, yeah?”

You look down, “I guess so…”

“Hey, liven up, baby,” she giggles, “Let’s not worry too much. There’s still a chance that you’ll have a nice young lady as your roommate.”

You pursed your lips, nodding. There was no time to hold up a grudge, you need to do what you had to do.

“Y/l/n Y/n.” You told the clerk behind the glass countertop, gripping your backpack and your suitcase tightly. She nods and starts typing on her computer whilst readjusting the black-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose.

“Room 109. Shared with Mr. Jeon Jungkook, am I right?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, slumping your shoulders.

“Great! Here are your keys,” she hands you two keys, “and please let Mrs. Han over here take you to your room.” A middle-aged woman appears in your vision, wearing a clean blazer uniform. ‘A beta’, you spoke to yourself, smelling her scent.

“Follow me, miss Y/l/n.”

She leads you to an elevator and presses the fourth floor. It was a very awkward silence, and you didn’t know what to do but to just stay put in a corner. You know she can smell you. And you wished that she was just another human, just like the woman behind the counter.

She suddenly grabs a hold of your suitcase before you could even touch it, and it made you surprised. She smiles politely, “Let me help you.”

Following right behind her, you both walk along clean white hallways. The floor was glossy black tiles, and the sounds of her heels clicking was the only noise that you could hear – except for the harsh beating of your heart. You were so nervous to meet this Jungkook man, and there were so many questions running through your mind.

‘Was he a normal human? Was he a werewolf too? Is he perhaps an Alpha? Beta? Oh, please, be an Omega. Is he nice? Or would he be loud? I wish he doesn’t smoke – I swear to God if he smokes I’m going to leave this place in a flash.’

“Excuse me miss, we’re here.”

Mrs. Han’s voice departed you from your thoughts and you immediately straightened yourself up. “Oh, s-sorry,” you smile pathetically, readjusting your straps.

The woman just grins and lends you your suitcase back. “Well, I’ll be leaving you here. Please, if you have any questions, you are free to go down the lobby. Other information is stated on the documents we gave you. Have a nice day –”

“Do you know who Jeon Jungkook is?”

Your eyes were wide as you spoke, frantically wanting an answer. Mrs. Han knows what you mean, and she sighs.

“Jeon Jungkook, sweetie, is an Alpha.”

Oh, of course he is.

You were about to throw another tantrum, hell – you wanted to throw up, but she quickly places her hands on your shoulders reassuringly. “Y/n, I just want you to keep safe. He can be a little too much sometimes, but try to make an alliance with him. Don’t get into his bad side, okay?”

You shake your head vigorously, “I won’t.”

“Good, now go in there. We don’t have all day.” She leaves you with a final smile and turns away, heels clicking.

You shut your eyes, throwing your head back. ‘This is my worst nightmare’.

With sweaty hands, you use the keys on the lock and turned the doorknob. You pushed the door slightly, peeking to see if anyone’s inside. You opened the door halfway, and you sigh in relief when you saw no one. “Thank God.”

You pulled your large pink suitcase in and shut the door behind you. Ahead of you were a kitchen and a living room – a decent size for two people. The walls were painted in beige with white trims. ‘I could get used to this’, you thought.

You take a look around, noticing that there were things already placed on some shelves. You cringed when you saw how disorganized the cupboards were. Empty jars of Nutella and peanut butter, expired milk, and many more. Great job, Jungkook.

Speaking of Jungkook – your eyes expand when you see a man who just walked out from a bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower body.

You shrieked as you covered your eyes, instantly turning around. You mentally cursed yourself that you know have the image of his half-naked body engraved in your mind. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t m-mean to!” You stumbled on your words, panting heavily from shame.

Jungkook, on the other hand, clenches his jaw from your sweet and heavenly scent. ‘She’s an omega’, he thinks, and a smirk slowly crept up his lips. ‘Maybe having a roommate wouldn’t be bad after all’.

Jungkook releases a deep chuckle as he stares at your small figure. He doesn’t try to walk closer to you, knowing that it might scare you. He knows he can radiate a strong aura for new people.

“It’s alright, you can turn around.”

His statement shocks you and you shake your head side to side. Funny enough, you still kept your eyes closed with your hands, even though you were already facing away from him. “I-I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“But why?” Jungkook pushes, loving your cute reaction, “We’re roommates now, dear, you’ll have to get used to seeing me shirtless.”

You gulp at his words, suddenly feeling your blood rush into your cheeks. Jungkook smirks when he feels the air in the room change, he knows what he’s doing to you. The wolf in him smells your lovely scent, and he indulges himself in it. He slowly walks closer to your body until there’s a one-foot distance. Your breath hitches up, afraid to breathe. ‘I need to calm down…’

“I’m sorry if I react like this, sweetheart. It’s been a while since I’ve encountered a female omega. I forgot how addicting their scent can be…” he trails off, the last sentence spoke in a mutter as he leans his head down to the crook of your neck. You flinch when you felt his hot breath on your skin, goosebumps arising.

“You don’t have to be nervous. I don’t bite.” He says smugly and you can practically feel the smirk wearing on his face. You jump when he places both of his hands on your hips. “H-hey—”

He swiftly turns you around so you were now facing him. His hair was still damp, some of it covering his eyes. You couldn’t even dare to look down, yet you can see how muscular he was on the very bottom of your eyes. Your stare wavered when he made eye contact with you, his eyes holding so much authority and control.

“May I get your name, pretty girl?”

You chew on your bottom lip with the petname he gave for you, eyes blinking twice – three times.

“Y/n.”

“Y/n,” your name rolls out of his tongue so perfectly, his voice so pleasing. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jungkook.” He smiles, showing off his pearly whites. That smile that probably makes a lot of girls – and boys – heart to flutter. Every word you knew was stripped out of your head as you didn’t know what to reply.

Realizing that you were still on his grip, you held onto his wrists and pushed them away from your body.

“U-Umm, nice t-to meet you.” You force an awkward smile, gripping the handle of your suitcase tightly to ensure your balance.

Stepping back, you finally see a clearer vision of his appearance. He was tall – really tall, probably a head and a half taller than you. He was built really nicely, his figure strong to protect his pack as he was born to do.

Jungkook cocks his head to the side, smiling smugly when he notices you staring at him for far too long.

“Oh, I-I’m so sorry… I better get to my room now.” You mumble, proceeding to go…actually—you didn’t know where you were going.

“Here,” he chuckles as he moves your hand away from your suitcase and he grabs a hold of it instead, “I’ll show you your room.”

You follow Jungkook behind him and let me tell you, his back muscles were unbelievably impressive. ‘Why isn’t he ashamed by all this? He’s only wearing a towel, for god’s sake!’

“I’m sorry I didn’t clean the area, I wasn’t told that you were coming today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. But it’s okay though.” You replied, smiling politely even though he can’t see you.

He leads you to a white door and stops in front of it. “After you,” he smiles and you thank him quietly, the blush on your face still clear and evident. You open the door and you smile brightly when you see how spacious it was. You walk further inside and notice the neat, twin-sized bed.

“I promise you that this room was locked when I got here. The management only opened this when you booked it.”

You ran your hands on the soft mattress of the bed, “Did they clean it?”

“Of course they did, sweetheart.” He chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.

Your eyes widened for a split second before you clench your jaw. “Stop calling me that,” you fight the urge of blushing once again, not making any eye contact with his own burning irises. You didn’t like what you were feeling – you didn’t like that you felt so frail under his overwhelming watch.

“You’re body’s telling me something else though, Y/n.” he walks around to face you with a sly smile plastered on his face. You didn’t look directly at his face, but you were faced right in front of his built arms. Some beads of water were still tripling down his skin and cause you to gulp. His biceps flex involuntarily, beautifully-toned abs right in front of your view. It was mouthwatering. You tried to fix your direction somewhere else, but his body was just begging to be seen.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumbled. Jungkook doesn’t say anything else – thankfully – and he smiles at you.

“Well, I guess I’ll be leaving you here. Please make yourself at home,” he steps back with a handsome grin, shaking his wet hair away from his eyes. “You’re free to do anything, just don’t eat my food, okay?”

You crease your brows together, wanting to chuckle at his statement, “I wasn’t planning to.”

“Good.” He proceeds to walk to the door, “See you around, Y/n.”

“Must you always stay quiet all the time?” Jungkook suddenly plops beside you on the couch, interrupting your daily reading session. You can see his face close to your left shoulder on the corner of your eyes, trying to analyze whatever you’re reading.

“Well, a person doesn’t blabber around when they’re reading, huh, Jungkook?” You snap, clearly annoyed at him. You were just about to enter the goddamned war scene of the story. “I’m sorry that I don’t give you the attention you always want.” You roll your eyes, fixing your gaze back on your book.

Jungkook looks taken aback from your words, causing him to raise a single brow up. “Hmm, someone’s got a sharp tongue.” He leans closer to you, making you feel timid. His mouth was so close to your ear, and his breathing sent shivers all over your system. “I never would’ve thought that you can be so bratty,” he growls the last few words in a deep voice.

Bratty? You shifted in your seat, feeling a little bit weird. You didn’t like to be called a brat, it makes you feel degraded.

“I’m sorry,” you ended up saying that in a whisper, cautiously lifting your head to look back up at him. Jungkook’s heart beats faster on his chest, seeing your big eyes staring at him so innocently and so cutely.

Oh, the things he wanted to do to you.

Jungkook chuckles, “It’s okay, sweetheart. How’s abooouuut…” he drags, scooting closer to you, “How’s about I treat you to lunch? You know, get to know each other a bit more. I’ll pay.”

You didn’t hesitate to nod your head, agreeing to his offer. You instantly placed your bookmark and closed the book as you sprinted back to your room to get ready. Anything for free food.

Jungkook laughs at your adorability, watching you shuffle excitedly. He brings his hand up to his lip, playing with it. He was just as eager as you are – but for different reasons.

It’s been approximately nine days since you’ve been living with Jungkook, and let me tell you, it was a tough nine days.

You would’ve thought that he would lose this sultry and sensual attitude of his around you after a few days but no. It stayed with him. Sometimes it would get very tiring with all of his teasing and suggestive comments but you held your guard up.

Unfortunately, Jungkook found your weak spots. Jungkook knows what words to say to get you all riled up. He just knows what to do just to make you weak in the knees, and knows what to say to have goosebumps raise on your skin.

Yet thankfully, he never touched you. It was because of the way he presents himself, the aura that he carries with him makes it feel like he owns every place he walks into. But then again, he’s an alpha, and they can take whatever they want in just a loud growl.

But there was no lie that he’s really handsome. He had a perfectly sculpted face, not a single flaw ever to be spotted. His long hair that would go past his ears always looked breathtaking on him, especially when wet.

You would be blind if you said that he wasn’t attractive and fine.

You woke up drastically with your chest heaving up and down, your breathing not normal than it should be. You can feel sweat trickling down your spine, all over your neck and your forehead. You felt hot.

Immediately springing into action, you throw the covers away from your body and you remove your pajamas, leaving you in your shirt and underwear. You nervously bite on your lip as you step your foot on the cold floor and made your way through the darkness of your room into the bathroom.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, eyes expanding in utter horror when you see that your pill bottle was empty. “No, no, no, no, no!” You immediately shuffled through every drawer and cupboards and prayed that you’ll find an extra bottle somewhere. “Did I not pack extra heat suppressants?!” you whisper-shouted to yourself, eyebrows joining together in frustration.

How stupid can you be?

“Okay, okay, calm down,” you paced back and forth, combing your hands through your sweaty hair. Your first instinct was to call your mom, but god it was 5 am in the morning and you didn’t want to wake her up, especially on a Monday where she goes to work. What the fuck were you going to do?

You definitely weren’t going to risk the chances of going outside of your room. You don’t want Jungkook to see you, not at this state. You mentally cursed yourself when you can feel your slick slowly dripping down your thighs, making you whimper involuntarily.

You closed your eyes tight, taking a deep breath. Walking out of the bathroom, you instantly made your way to the door of your bedroom and locked it. You just have to lock yourself inside your room until your heat is over.

Laying yourself back on the bed, you wondered if the pills you took yesterday didn’t work. You started your heat two days ago, and you even made sure that you’ve scheduled your pills.

But as time passes, the feeling never went away. You couldn’t sleep. You could feel yourself getting hotter and hotter as each second passes as hair was stuck on your neck and forehead. You tossed and turned all over your mattress, feeling frustrated and needy.

This scared you, not going to lie. It was your first time witnessing yourself in heat without the suppressants, and you didn’t know what to expect. You emitted loud whines and penurious whimpers, calling for some release. You wanted something, you wanted someone.

Jungkook groaned when he wakes up and hears the alarm from his phone. He reaches his arm out to grab the device and shuts off the annoying sound with his eyes half-open.

5:30 AM, it reads.

He gets up and switches on the light, blinding him for a couple of seconds before he rubs both of his eyes with a yawn. It was time for his Monday workout session. He prepares himself and changes his clothes to some black gym shorts and a black cut-off sleeve shirt, paired with his usual sneakers. He takes his phone and advances out to the kitchen.

Jungkook was humming softly to himself, filling his large bottle up with warm water from the dispenser.

“Oh, I forgot my headphones,” he said to himself and proceeded to turn around, but a strong scent hit his nose like a truck.

‘What?’

‘Umm…’

‘What the fuck?’

Jungkook’s eyes expanded ten times bigger when a sweet and savory scent filled up the air. He walks closer, sniffing the air until it leads him right in front of your door. Jungkook was now breathing heavily. It was his first time in a very long time to smell an omega in heat, and he doesn’t know if he can control himself any further.

“A-alpha…”

Jungkook’s irises turn red right after he hears your soft but desperate whimper. He growls when he felt his blood rush down to his cock. Jungkook wanted to burst right in, to help you through your heat. You were desiring for an alpha, and he was right there, but he didn’t know that your room was locked not before he tried to open your door.

This brought him back to his senses.

He immediately steps back before anything gets more carried away. He rushes to grab his water bottle – ditching the headphones and immediately runs out of the room with a heavy breath.

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” the half-wolf chants as he makes his way towards the elevator with heavy steps. His breathing was rapid, almost making it look like that he was about to faint. He was going mad; he has never smelled an omega that sweet and delicious. It was like a new smell for him. His hormones were going crazy, his mind in a state of lust and desire.

He sighs in relief when he sees no one inside the elevator. Once he pressed the correct floor and the door closed shut, he couldn’t help but grip his hand tightly to the metal rails, knuckles almost turning white. Jungkook usually knows how to keep his control, but something about you just makes him mad.

He growls deeply as the sound of your sweet whimper fills his mind, replaying over and over again. He imagines you, looking so needy and in need of a release below him. He wants to help you, help you release that sexual frustration out of you. He craves to dominate you; your cute, little body. Your voice sounded so cute, so delicate that turns Jungkook on to the max. The word ‘alpha’ rolled down your tongue so smoothly, and he wanted to hear it again and again.

Jungkook tries his absolute best to calm himself down, closing his eyes as he takes several breaths.

“A-alpha…” the word came out in an eager tone, desperate for something. Your body was drenched in sweat and you felt slick frantically dripping down your thighs.

Your body took over your mind. All you can ever do was to dread for a mate while your hands teased your hardened nipples through your shirt.

You wanted an alpha. You wanted Jungkook.

As messed up as it was, you were dreading for your roommate to touch you. You were dreading him to mate with you, feel his big member inside of you.

“A-aahh, puh-please,” you mewled into the darkness, bucking your hips into nothing. Your body shivered when you snuck your hands under your shirt and tweaked your hard buds. “I c-cant…” you threw your head agitatedly from side to side, your skin itching from the desperate need of contact.

“Oh, whatever,” you spoke in gritted teeth while sliding your right hand down, cupping your dripping wet core. You immediately shivered from the oh-so-delicate touch, closing your eyes tight. You carefully rubbed your clothed cunt, your fingers immediately dampening as your slick transferred to your fingers.

With your other hand massaging your boob, you hesitantly slipped your hand inside your underwear, biting your lip.

“Mmnggf, my god,” you gasped when your fingers touched your sensitive clit. Without waiting any further, you rubbed the bud hastily as waves and waves of pleasure shoots through your system. You ran your digits down your folds, teasing your pulsing hole by poking the tip of your finger in. “I… a-aaah,” multiples mewls escaped your swollen lips when you rubbed your clit even faster, applying more pressure to escort you to a release.

“I wanna cum…” you begged to no one, “I wanna cum so badly.” You almost wanted to cry with the hopelessness in your body. You arch your back in an uncomfortable way when you pinched your rock-hard nipples once again.

“Please… make me cum, Jungkook.” You whispered.

You imagine that it’s him. You imagine that it’s him doing all of the work for you. His long, slender fingers that can unambiguously do more than your own can. You imagine his big, well-built body hovering over you, controlling your body and making it his.

“Alpha…” you can feel a heavy knot forming inside of your stomach, signaling that you were close. You didn’t hold back your cries of pleasure as your hips buck into the air, your fingers moving faster on your pussy. “Please please please…”

A loud moan escaped your lips when you felt hot cum running down from your drenched cunt, and you didn’t stop to make sure everything didn’t go to waste. Your thoughts were clouded with immense pleasure, your body going into a series of quick trembles and shudders.

‘One more time.’

Jungkook kept clenching his jaw, his grip on the exercise bike tight. He should be focusing on his workout routine, yet all he could ever think about was you.

‘Were you going through your heat?’

He’d praise you for actually being considerate and locking the door; because if you didn’t, all hell would break loose.

But if he did walk in, would you accept him? Would you let him touch you, let him take over you?

He couldn’t help but ponder that maybe it was all just the pleasure that was speaking for you, and not Y/n herself. He wouldn’t like it if you’ll regret everything when you get back to your normal state.

These thoughts were circulating Jungkook’s head, not until an hour later when he’s officially calmed down. He hesitates to go back inside the room, but he has no other choice.

Jungkook.

You can smell him.

Without thinking any further, you jumped out of your bed and ran outside to the living room where your eyes set on a messy-haired Jungkook, shirt stained with sweat while he was downing his water bottle.

“Y-Y/n?” he asks carefully, eyeing you with caution.

You abruptly forgot that you weren’t wearing any underwear, and he can easily smell your arousal from a distance. He notices how your face was so flushed, hair in tangles and you breathing was uneven.

“Jungkook—” you whimpered quietly, pleading him as you walked closer to his frame. Jungkook shakes his head as he steps away from you, noticing his adam’s apple bob as he goes to the very corner of the room.

“Distance, Y/n. I-I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want.” Jungkook rasps, trying his fucking hardest not to pounce on you.

The shirt that you wore only covered a little bit of your wet pussy and your sweet scent filled the entire room in a flash. Jungkook was losing his mind, eyes threatening to roll back from your smell.

“No, please,” your eyes drooped, tugging at the hem of your shirt frustratingly, “I want it, I really, really do.” You sigh. When Jungkook didn’t respond, you took the chance to continue. “I-I ran out of heat suppressants. My heat is too strong today a-and I can’t take it any further.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw. He notices the glistening slick that was slowly creeping down your thighs, and he wanted to punch a wall. He growls lowly to himself, feeling his dick harden again.

“I’ve already cummed t-three times today, but I need more.”

The alpha raises his eyebrows from your statement, “Three?” he chuckles, crossing his muscular arms together in front of his chest, “That’s quite a lot, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

There he goes. There he decides to tease you. You’ve learned that you quite love his teasing, and it makes you even hornier.

“I know, but all this time I was thinking about you, Jungkook.” You spoke quietly as you walked closer to him.

“Y-Y/n, are you – oh fuck, are you sure about this?” he tries to say, but your smell was overflowing his mind and it was difficult for him to formulate words. “Do you know what you’re about to do? Hmm?”

“Yes, I’ve never been surer. Please,” you were now right in front of him, and you heard him growl dominantly as he towers over your height. “Please mate with me.”

Without wasting any more time, he suddenly lifts your little body and carries you to his room, shutting the door behind him. He drops you onto the soft bed and you crawl up to rest your head on his pillows. Jungkook smirks down at you while he removes his shirt, revealing his beautifully-toned abs that had just the workout earlier.

“My little, desperate omega,” he scoffs, “begging for another release, aren’t you?” he hovers over you and leans down to lick a bold stripe on your neck. You croon your head to the side, allowing him more access. You let out a moan when he starts to suck on your delicate skin.

“You just want an alpha’s cock to satisfy you, huh?”

You nod briefly, followed by a quiet mewl when he removes your shirt, revealing your breasts to him. “Hmm? Is that what you want? Want this little pussy to be filled up with some big cock?”

“Hnngf, yes, yes, please,” he starts to suck on your hard nipples, biting on it playfully which makes you arch your back. He removes his mouth with a loud pop, “Filthy little girl.”

Your nerves were firing, feeling blazing hot and excited. You were fantasizing about this for so many hours now, after all of the unsatisfying releases – you have finally got what you truly wanted. Your hands were clammy and your mind was in a blissful mess, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was him; right now, at this moment.

“Let me have a taste of you, baby girl,” he growls as he hovers down to your core. He inhales your savory scent and his dick twitches. Your pussy was so wet, dripping in juices and stained with cum from your previous orgasms. Jungkook’s arms sling around and under your thighs, parting them together to give him a better view.

“Fucking hell, you’re drenched, sweetheart. Is this all for me, hmm?” he doesn’t even give you the time to respond when he abruptly licks a heavy stripe from your clenching hole to your clit. The sudden feeling sent electrifying currents all throughout your body, “Oohhh, yes. I-It’s all for you, Jungkook.”

“You don’t know how much I’ve been thinking about this sweet little cunt, baby. I’ve been wanting to have a taste of you since you’ve first stepped inside this apartment.”

He drives his tongue back, this time alternating between licking numbers on your folds and sucking on your swollen clit. His tongue worked wonders on you, causing your hands to fly down to tug on his long and wavy hair. You try to shove his bangs away to have a better view of his mouth on your pussy.

“Ohh my god! Like that, keep doing that, please,” you breathlessly moaned, shutting your eyes from the pleasure. You felt him smirk between your pussy which made you clench onto nothing.

You whimper from the loss of contact when he leans back, wiping his lips with the back of his hands. “I’m going fucking mad on you, baby. You drive me wild.”

Your eyes fly to where his right hand is as he cups his hard length beneath his shorts. He proceeds to rub it firmly, teasing you as he makes direct eye contact. “You want this, huh?”

You nod desperately, bringing your fingers up to your lips to give them a suck.

Jungkook chuckles sinisterly and finally pulls the clothing down, and your mouth immediately waters from the sight.

He was nice and long, his girth impressive as precum dripped down the tip of his dick. He strokes his length a couple of times as he carefully examined your expression. “You like it?” he smirks, “You want it inside you, huh?”

He chucks the clothing to the floor and hovers above you, his dick now right in front of your entrance. “Are you sure you want this, Y/n?” his eyes suddenly turn soft after being invaded with lust, “Are you sure you want me to be your mate?”

You try to smile at his question, “Yes, yes I do, Jungkook. I want it to be you.” His heart swells up, but he feels like melting into a puddle after you’ve continued: “Do you?”

Jungkook laughs quietly as he strokes your hair with his hands reassuringly, his gaze looking so caring and loving. “Of course I do, Y/n. I’ve always thought that you were the most beautiful girl that ever existed, even if we only met a couple of days ago,” he chuckles. “The most precious, kind, sweet, and delicate girl I’ve ever seen. I wanted to be yours so bad. I want to protect you, wanna take care of you forever.”

He nuzzles his nose close to the crook of your neck, shaking his head which causes his hair to tickle you. You giggle and Jungkook smiles, pressing a delicate kiss on your lips. “You don’t know how much I need you.”

“You can have me, Jungkook. Claim me as yours.”

And with that statement, he was quick to growl as his cock twitches in desperate need. He tugs on in a couple of times before aligning it on your entrance. “I’ll go slow, okay little one?”

You obey his words as you nod. You felt the tip of his dick pushing inside your hole, slowly and carefully filling you with his thick cock. He was even bigger than you were expecting, filling you up in all the right places. “O-ohh my god!” you moaned out, lips open in pleasure as you felt your thighs quiver.

“Mhmm, your pussy’s squeezing my cock so good, baby.” He places his big hands on your hips as he pushes further, his eyes rolling back from how tight you are. “You feel so fucking good.”

He wasn’t even halfway in before you felt yourself close to an orgasm. You wrap your legs around his hips, pushing him deeper inside of you. “I-I…a-aaaahhh!”

Your fourth orgasm of the day hit you like a huge train, covering Jungkook’s cock with your cum. You were clenching uncontrollably around him and he couldn’t help but shove the rest of his length in without any warning. “Fuck! B-baby, you’re gonna make me lose my shit.”

He stays still inside of you, letting you calm down from your previous high. But you can’t help but notice his heavy and ragged breath, growling every now and then. “J-Jungkook, you can move now.”

“Y/n,” his voice suddenly becomes deeper and raspier, “I-I might not be able to hold myself ba—oh s-shit—back.” He closes his eyes tight, moving his hips very slightly. “Please tell me that you’re a hundred percent okay with this. I don’t want you to r-regret anything.” He said in a heavy pant, pleasure for sure taking the best of him. Jungkook was overwhelmed with all of the waves of senses being thrown at him all at once. Fuck, just the thought of your cute little tummy carrying all of his pups makes him want to fuck your brains out.

“Please, Kook,” the alpha smiles at the nickname, “I really, really want this. I don’t regret any of this. I want you too as much as you do, so please, just fuck me already. Be my mate, please.”

Jungkook chuckles, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, “If you say so, baby.”

Immediately, he starts fucking you with a deep and hard pace. Your eyes instantly roll back to your head as you start seeing stars. He was literally trying to fuck your brains out.

Your fingers claw on his back, scratching his skin which made him hiss, probably from the pain plus pleasure it brought. This only encouraged him to go even faster and even harder than before.

“Such a slut for this big cock, aren’t you? You wanna be filled with my cum, huh? Wanna carry my pups?”

You moan delightfully from his words, clenching around him from the thought of having his puppies. “Yes, yes. Give me your pups, Jungkook,” you whimpered.

“You want it, huh?” He snarls, smirking down at you. Suddenly, his right hand flies to your neck and he wraps his whole palm around it, choking you. You whimper, not expecting to be so turned on from this action. He presses firmly on your neck, his dominant and assertive side coming out.

You feel so nice and full around him, his cock hitting so deep inside of you. His balls were fervently slapping on your pussy, making wet lewd noises that resonated throughout the room. He was growling on top of you, bruising your thighs as he continues to pound on your sore, little cunt.

He finally releases your neck but only to grab your hips with both of his hands, flipping you around so that you were on fours. “Face down, ass up, baby girl.”

You mewled as you did as you were told, burying your face on his pillows. His hand spanks your ass cheek once, twice, three times, making you whimper loudly. His smacks were hard and sharp, and you were sure that your skin will turn red in no time.

Jungkook continues thrusting in and out of your sopping cunt, pulling all the way until just the tip for him to slam his whole length in you. Your body jolts forward, as he does this action again and again. “Hmm, such a nice, tight pussy you’ve got.” He teases your cunt by gliding the tip of his dick up and down your soaked folds, collecting more of your wetness. “This is all mine, right sweetheart?”

He firmly slaps his dick on your clit a couple of times to get an answer from you. “Answer me, Y/n,” he groans.

“Y-Yes, yes, it’s all yours, Kook.”

“That’s my good girl.”

Jungkook only had one goal, and that was to fuck you into another mind-blowing orgasm. His hips move faster and his cock was deeper with the new position, allowing him to hit your sweet spot. “O-oh! Right there! R-right there,” you moaned, tears brimming in your eyes from how good it all feels. Your hard nipples were rubbing on the sheets, helping you and providing more pleasure.

“Right here?” He gives one particular hard thrust on that same spot, making you moan out his name.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby? Make your body tremble, your pussy clenching on my big dick, hmm?” He keeps pounding on your g-spot, bringing you closer to the edge yet again. “That’s it, baby. C’mon, come for me.” With his last words, you instantly release around his length, squeezing him up as you shake. It was all so much for you to handle, yet Jungkook still holds your body so tenderly as you cummed.

“Y-Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook pants, “so good, m’gonna cum inside you, sweetheart. Gonna fill those walls with my cum and you’re gonna keep it there baby.”

Jungkook chases his high and before you knew it, his cum was spurting inside of you, hot and long strokes of his seed shooting on your walls. He gasps and leans down, your back pressed firmly against his chest as he holds you close.

“Take it, baby, take it.” He grunts, and he doesn’t hold back the loud moan that escapes his lips when he feels his knot getting bigger and bigger. Your eyes suddenly go wide from the feeling. It felt like someone was blowing a balloon inside of you.

“Jungkook… wh-what’s happening?” You asked quietly, trying to push yourself away but he just groans and pulls you back firmly.

“J-Just stay here, baby. You’re safe, you’re okay.” He reassures you as he tries to calm his breathing down.

“How long will this last?”

“A couple of minutes,” he laughs quietly, “can last about an hour or two. We don’t know.”

You giggled, “Now we’re closer than ever, huh?”

“Yes, baby,” he leans down to kiss your lips tenderly, full of love and affection. “Quite literally.”

#jungkook smut #alpha!jungkook #alpha jungkook #alpha omega bts #alpha jungkook x omega reader #dom jungkook #jungkook hot #werewolf jungkook #werewolf!jungkook #bts omegaverse #bts alpha #alpha au #jungkook #bts smut #bts smut oneshot #jungkook smut oneshot #alpha jungkook omega reader #jungkook smut masterlist #bts wolf au

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muwur · 5 years ago

Note

hii :-) ur writing is so cute!!! could i uhh get some super fluffy mayb a lil suggestive one shot or scenario about being quarantined with oikawa post-time skip? 🥺

quarantining

✩ oneshot ✩ for oikawa

❧ gn reader

✎ 2.2k words

a/n: gotchu! hopefully i didnt take too long ;(( i have trouble getting inspo, it usually will hit me all at once or neverr. hope you like cx

wishin i got some quality times during quarantine, y/n out here rlly living their best n domestic life smh

also, i hope this was fluffy! ik i made it a bit silly and playful so i hope thats ok! lmk if you would like me to attempt again and id be more than happy too cx

requests: open!

So far, it’s been a month into quarantine. Despite having lived with Oikawa’s needy self for the past two years, being stuck at home with him all the time definitely tested your patience, especially when he was bored, seeking attention, and missing volleyball.

“Oikawaaa, hold on, I’m almost done with work. Maybe talk to Iwa for a bit until I’m free,” you suggested as you typed away at your computer, not even sparing your whiny boyfriend a glance as he lamented about his boredom.

“Iwa’s already asleeeppp and there’s nothing to do hereeeee,” he complained. He pulled up a seat next to you and poked your cheek repeatedly. “Having a long distance best friend and an s/o who doesn’t care about you is harddd, why does life give me such a hard time?” he despaired, referring to his best friend who lived in another country, and you, his partner, who was trying to do work so you both could be financially stable in the middle of this pandemic.

You rolled your eyes in response and turned in your chair to face him, grabbing his cheeks in your hands and giving them a squeeze. “Boohoo, I think someone’s gotten a little too used to having fan girls entertain him all the time.” You gave his pouty lips a quick peck. “I’ll be done in 20 minutes, max. Go watch some tik toks or something.”

After you returned to doing your work, Oikawa settled for wrapping his arms from behind you and resting his chin on top of your head. He hummed to himself some trendy tik tok song he discovered the other day as he played with your hair, and you found the vibrations from his throat and the soft tugs on your scalp strangely soothing.

As much as you rolled your eyes or scoffed at his antics, you loved when he would go out of his way to catch your eye. Oikawa knew what would get to you. He could make you smile, laugh, piss you off, or comfort you in an instant.

You felt your heart soften at a memory from not too long ago.

“Hmmmmm,” Oikawa thought aloud, stroking his chin with his thumb. “Put that one... here.”

“Yes ma’am,” you responded, placing a pillow in the gap between two other pillows. Then, you both took opposite ends of the same blanket, draping it over the array of pillows you arranged on the living room floor and thus completing your pillow fort.

He eagerly slid inside the castle and patted the spot next to him. “y/nnnn, hurry up and lay here with me so we can watch our favorite show while we cuddle and I feed you~”

You couldn’t help but smile as you obliged, easing into the spot next to him. You both lay on your stomachs, supported by a single, long pillow stuffed underneath your chests. Oikawa hooked an arm around your waist, closing the gap between you two. His free hand reached for a bag of your favorite snacks. He opened it, picked up a piece, then held it up to your face.

Just as you were about to take a bite, your face contorted into an expression of shock and betrayal when you saw him quickly seize the piece into his own mouth. Looking at your gaping face, he raised a mischievous eyebrow. “Oh, you thought that was for you?”

And that was how he ended up face down and star fished on the floor, with you sitting cross-legged on his back and triumphantly munching on your snacks, surrounded by a chaotic mass of fluffy pillows and blankets.

“I win,” you giggle through your bites.

“No fair! That pillow to my face came outta nowhere!”

15 minutes passed by when you finally finished, closed your laptop, and hugged his arms. “Alright, I’m all yours now, what’s up?” you tilted your head back and glanced upwards to meet his gaze, the corners of your lips turning upwards in a small smile.

“Wellllll, I was thinking of sharing a nice dinner together, maybe a fragrant bath...” he trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Pffft,” you spit out, shoving his face away playfully and getting up to your feet. “Only if your highness will make me dinner. I’m hungry after a long day’s work of breadwinning. What have you even been doing all day?”

“Uhhh...” Oikawa pursed his lip and looked at the ceiling in faux thought. Then his eyes landed back on you sheepishly, “Nothing.”

Laughing, you gave his cheek a soft pat and took his hand, leading him to the kitchen. “Of course, I expected nothing less of you, Lazykawa,” you jibed, well aware you were using one of Iwa’s classic nicknames on him.

“Fine, fine, I’ll get something ready for us. You just sit your pretty self at the table and watch.”

"I want a close up view, though,” you remarked, snaking your arms under his own from behind as he was investigating the fridge’s contents.

“Works for me,” he winked.

You clung onto him and followed his steps around the kitchen, taking in his refreshing scent and observing judging his meal preparation.

“Mm, yes, instant ramen, quite the challenge, Oikawa. What’s your strategy?”

“Divide and conquer. Watch and learn, y/n.”

He exaggerated his movements throughout the cooking process, which made clinging onto him a bit of a struggle, to say the least. He finally poured the cooked noodles and soup into a large bowl, adding in some boiled eggs, seaweed, and green onion for embellishment. “Voila!” he bragged, carrying the dish slowly to your small dining table as you continued to follow him. Oikawa set the bowl down, “Dig in, honey.”

Unlatching yourself from his back, you took a seat next to him and lay a head lazily on his shoulder. His heart fluttered at the sight of your cheek nestling comfortably into him, and he mentally kicked himself for letting your proximity make him experience those first date jitters all over again, even though it’s been four years since that time. He took in the details of your face, feeling his heartrate quicken when your eyes slowly flickered upwards at him from underneath your eyelashes. Your sweet lips parted slightly, looking like honey could drip from them at any moment. They were captivating, but tread the wrong way and he could be left stung. He wanted them to say his name, longingly--

“Well, are we going to eat or just sit here and let the food get cold?”

“O-Oh, right,” he stuttered out, taking a pair of chopsticks and dipping them into the bowl. How had his mind strayed so easily? He might act like he could keep his cool all the time, but with you, that was a different story. Four years whipped by quickly, but the thought of you never failed to bring him a sense of comfort, anticipation, embarrassment, and intrigue all at once.

He picked up a few strands of noodles and blew on them gently. The steam from the bowl rose to warm both your cheeks, marking them with a dewy, rosy tinge. Oikawa brought the noodles up to your open mouth, which you received with such delight that he had to refrain from gushing over how cute it looked. He continued to feed both of you, listening as you talked about work, how your friends were in quarantine, and what you wanted to do when things got back to normal. Although he was attentive, making sure to acknowledge your words with some sort of response such as a nod or a reply, he could feel a knot in his stomach begin to tighten ever so slightly. When his mind wandered, he couldn’t help but think about what the future held for you both.

You were one of the most supportive people in his life. You decided to move here in order to stay close to him and support his career and passion for volleyball. You found yourself a job in order to help make a living and adjust to your new lifestyle. You put effort everyday into your relationship, making sure you looked after one another and communicated your needs. Your empathy and understanding were unmatched, and he couldn’t imagine what his life would have been like for the last two years if you never came along with him. Reaching back farther, he was almost positive the last four years of his life and all the good that’s come his way since then was thanks to you.

“To be honest, that ramen hit the spot more than I expected it to,” you sighed with satisfaction. Then, you looked over at him and noticed the slight furrow of his brows. “Tooru...? Helloo?”

You waved a hand in his face and jolted him from his thoughts. He took your hands and looked into your eyes with a spark of determination. “Y/n.”

“Uhhh... Yes?” you asked, a bit confused.

Closing his eyes briefly and taking a deep breath, he proceeded. “The years we’ve been together have been among the best in my life. You’ve never failed to make me feel safe and happy, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you by my side. I need you to stay with me, to look after me while I also take care of you. I know we’ve only fantasized and shared jokes about the future, like when we tell our children stories, you’ll make fun of me and share with them some of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. When we get a pet dog (or cat, or any other pet you prefer), I’ll have to compete with it for your attention, and I’ll probably lose. When I’m old and my knee finally gives out on me, you’ll lug me around on your back. But I don’t want those things to remain little jokes; I want to experience all those moments with you, no matter how big or small. That said...”

Once Tooru realized what he was about to suggest, his cheeks flushed and he accidentally bit his tongue. “Ow, fuck!”

Startled and still caught off guard from his sweet words, your eyes widened as you choked out, “H-Huh?? What’s wrong, what happened?? Tooru?” You tried to convince yourself the heat you felt was due to the hot ramen and your concern for Oikawa.

I was just about to ask for your hand in marriage.

He held his hands in front of his face, waving them around in frantic dismissal. “N-Nothing, I just bit my tongue..!” Gotta think, gotta think of a cover...! What else could I even say that would make sense after having said all that..?!

He took in another deep breath and held up both your hands again, bringing them close to his mouth and giving them a kiss. “When this is all over... W-Why don’t we take a trip somewhere? We’ll go anywhere you like! Just us two, going on adventures, having drinks, doing fun things.”

You sighed out in relief, releasing your pent-up anxiety. “T-That’s all?! I-I mean, ah yes, of course! That sounds amazing, I’ve always wanted to go to *insert place here lol* and this would be the perfect chance!”

You cupped his face gently and brought him in for a warm, soft kiss. His lips meshed with yours as his hand reached for your jaw. His thumb caressed over your right cheekbone, pulling you closer and giving you a sense of security.

Though, at the back of your mind, you had suspected, Was he about to propose? But then you thought, Nah, if he was considering it, I don’t think he’d do that right now, stuck at home during quarantine. Now, what if I proposed before he did.... Hm...

And his mind was filled with, Oh thank god I caught myself, I don’t know what I would’ve done, I don’t even have anything ready, I never thought about it as seriously as I did in that moment, what was I thinking, also ramen tastes kinda good on their mouth...

A few minutes passed when you broke apart. He spent a few seconds looking into your eyes, which glistened with passion and love. “You’re really sweet, Tooru, you know that?” you said with a smile. He smiled, giving you a kiss on your forehead before standing up abruptly, much to your dismay. But then he offered to wash the dishes, much to your content and appreciation.

He finished not too soon after, then walked into the living room to find you splayed out on the couch and browsing your phone.

“I made dinner like I promised, so into the bath we go!” he yelled, hooking his arms underneath your back and legs to lift your body. You yelped in surprise, dropping your phone on the sofa. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him, laughing as he rushed towards the bathroom.

“Fine, I’ll keep up my end of the deal,” you said, reaching for the bathroom door’s handle and turning it open. Once inside, he kicked it shut with his foot and set you down on the sink counter. He moved towards the tub to turn on the warm water, then came back to the counter and held up two bath bombs. “So, you want rose or lavender?”

But instead, you hooked onto him once more and pulled him into a needy kiss.

Someday soon, when this is over, you’ll be mine forever, y/n.

Despite having lived with Oikawa’s dorky self for the past two years, having to be stuck at home with him all the time had definitely its perks. There wasn’t anyone else you would’ve rather spent your time with, that’s for sure.

a/n: fihuofiejmcg i tried LOL, i hope you liked, honestly was just typing ad goign along till i got ideas! I wouldnt let myself sleep until i finished this sdfghjk anyways. we luv oikawa. also i hope that last thought of his dont sound creepy LMAO

ps i shoulda been filling out my job application but lmaoooo

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #haikyu fluff #oikawa fluff

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

Text

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend.

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go.

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~ *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E V E R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe.

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what”

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too...

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink...

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

ASDFGHJKL

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much.

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will.

b l o o d s m i l e

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel.

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

t h a t ‘s l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~

i l o v e y o u

#erileck #<- ref tag #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #erika talks

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oscars-wifeyyy · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 7 (The Innocent)

Now it was Thanksgiving break that was filled with nights with Monse and days with Oscar then the crew. Thanksgiving was obviously spent with family until the sun went down and everyone met at Ruby's place. Everyone was walking and having a good time, but Elizabeth knew that Monse and Ruby were still hurting from seeing their loved one with another person.

"Where's Mario? I was hoping to see him," Jamal asked.

Ruby smirked, "he went with his new bougie girlfriend to Nevada,"

"Instead of coming home?" Monse asked.

"Monse, he is in the bone zone with his new girl," Elizabeth chuckled.

"True,"

"Can you pass the tres leches?" Olivia asked, "my mom makes the best tres leches for my birthday. Guess not this year,"

"Don't say that," Monse comforted, "maybe your folks will be home before your birthday,"

"In a week? I don't think so," Olivia looked down.

"Wait," Ruby paused, "your quince is in a week? And you didn't tell us?! Mom, dad! Olivia's quince is in a week!"

"It's not a big deal," Olivia tried to tell Ruby.

Ruby's family came to the main room and surrounded the girl, "is this true?"

"Olivia, don't you worry about a thing. I can get my shift covered next weekend and we can have it here next Saturday," Ruby's dad said.

There were cheers coming from everyone except for Olivia, who went to hide in her room. Elizabeth nudged Cesar, pointing towards her room. The two went to the room to look inside and saw Olivia crying, but she quickly wiped them away when she heard them coming in. They moved to sit next to her when Monse opened the door again to join them, but soon after all three pulled each other in a hug.

"You don't have to do this," Olivia sniffled.

"We're not doing anything. This is for me," Monse smiled at the crying girl.

"And me," Cesar and Elizabeth said in sync.

"We felt the need to hug. Now accept the hug, damn it," Elizabeth chuckled with everyone.

"I can't believe I'm about to have my first birthday without my parents and it's my quince," Olivia wiped under her nose, "it's so ironic. I mean, since I was able to walk, my mother has driven me crazy talking about my quinceañera. Trying recipes, cutting magazines, making playlists. My dad, practicing our waltz so he'd have it down on the day. He's been practicing for years. Years!"

"That's a lot of dancing," Monse said.

"Yeah. He has no rhythm. Like none. So, my feet are shredded, all in the name of my mother's obsession, which I used to pray to stop. But now it has...I miss it," Olivia finished.

Ruby walked in, "what's going on?"

"Nothing. You just totally and completely devastated Olivia by suggesting she have a quince," Monse said.

The short friend walked over to the hug pile and joined in, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rub salt on the wound,"

"It's not your fault. I haven't seen my parents in months and I've barely talked to them. It's just a nightmare situation,"

Ruby stood up, "which is why you should have a party!"

"Ruby, she doesn't want to celebrate. Are you even listening?" Monse looked at Ruby in disbelief.

"I am," Ruby rolled his eyes, "what I'm hearing is how important this party is to her mom,"

"I can't do this without her," Olivia said.

"But that's why you have to. You're not betraying your mom to have a quince if she's not here, but you would be betraying her to not have one because she's not here," Ruby stood in front of his friends' eyes, "not after all her planning,"

"I side with Ruby on this one," Elizabeth shrugged.

"I never thought of it that way,"

"Because I'm good at making people understand the right side of an argument," Ruby gloated.

"Or annoying them to submission," Monse retorted, high-fiving Elizabeth.

"Do you have any idea about what you want?" Ruby asked Olivia.

The next day came around and there was a squad meeting at Ruby's, but Ruby said to bring a computer or a phone so Elizabeth just brought her phone. Everyone was present except for Olivia and Ruby, but Ruby walked into the dining room with a headset and a huge binder, slammed it onto the table.

"Everyone please open your e-devices and find the email I sent titled 'winning'. Find it? Good. after copious hours of searching through Olivia's quincespirations, I've compiled the best ideas on a Pinterest page on the link below her head shot," Ruby informed.

"Where's Olivia?" Cesar asked.

"The princesa doesn't need to be bothered by details. Now, anyone else have a dumb question? Huh? Good. before we really get going, I'd like to remind you that we're not just friends and family, we're damas and chambelanes in Olivia's court of honor, which means being honorable and dedicated," Ruby looked at everyone, "take a look at our mandatory rehearsal schedule and..." his phone began ringing, "excuse me, I have to take this. Ruby's Fancy Festivities,"

Elizabeth had gotten a call so she looked at her phone and saw Oscar's contact name. Quickly excusing herself, she went to the backyard and accepted the call.

"Wassup? Everything ok?" Elizabeth asked.

"Whatchu doing right now?" Oscar disregarded her questions.

"At Ruby's for a meeting for Olivia's quince. Look like I'm a dama too," Elizabeth sighed.

Oscar started laughing so Elizabeth hung up the phone and went back inside to go back to the group to see Ruby done with his call and contemplating something.

"...think the twins can pull it?" Ruby asked.

"No," Cesar looked at Ruby weird.

"Fine. Moving on. The following are individual responsibilities," Ruby said.

"I'll handle music," Cesar said.

"I'll handle the baking," Elizabeth said.

"Great minds think alike, compas. Monse, given your expert penmanship, you're gonna do the invitations,"

"No," Monse rolled her eyes.

"Use cardstock," Ruby turned to Jamal, "Jamal, you can cater. And by you, I mean your dad,"

"How many people?" Jamal asked.

"Well, there's us, and then the whole block, and...300," Ruby said nonchalantly.

"300 people?!?" Jamal raised his voice.

"You're right. Better make that 350,"

"Jamal will do the flowers. I will do the food," Abuelita said from the kitchen.

Elizabeth fell asleep on the table, but it was interrupted when Ruby woke her up and told her to go to the living room for dance practice. She stood from her seat and made her way to Monse and Olivia, staring at Ruby.

"He's eccentric," Olivia tried to give Ruby the benefit of the doubt.

"Not eccentric," Elizabeth yawned, "more like quincecabra. Anyways, I'm out, I gotta go to the restaurant,"

She walked out of the house and into the red Impala that was waiting with the guy that was so hung up on her without even realizing it. She greeted him with a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek as they began their short drive to the restaurant. Once they got there, Oscar walked her in and went back out to waste four hours since the things that had to be done were done.

Oscar walked around the area and noticed the looks of fear directed towards him because of his appearance, but he reveled in the fear-filled eyes. A store caught his eye so he went inside and looked around, not caring about the security guards that watched him closely. Something shined in his eye so he turned his attention and saw a simple necklace with an O dangling on it so he called one salesman over and pointed at the necklace.

"How much for that?" Oscar asked.

"Oh," the salesman looked dumbfounded because of the simplicity of it, "that's 300, sir,"

Oscar nodded and took out the three hundreds from his wallet, handing it over to the guy, "that cover it?"

"Y-yes, sir," he fumbled with the box and put in the necklace before pushing it into the cholo's hand, "h-have a good d-day, sir,"

"You too," Oscar walked out and smirked as he went out of the store and back to Elizabeth's job.

He waited for another twenty minutes until the familiar girl came walking out with a huge smile on her face. She jumped into the Impala and they went off to go back to Freeridge, but Oscar had felt his stomach drop nervously. The usually hard cholo had taken glances towards the younger girl who was humming to the music playing on the radio so he just went for it.

"Elizabeth, be my ruca. For real like be official, baby," Oscar cleared his throat while facing the freeway, "I don't care about my strikes, I just want you to be mine,"

"Oscar..." Elizabeth sighed, "you might be fine with the risk of getting caught, but I'm not. I won't be the reason Cesar doesn't have you with him again. I want to be with you, but I gotta turn eighteen first. I'm about to turn seventeen and that's not even close to legal age, Oscar,"

"It's my choice too, Eli," Oscar flared his nose in anger, "I want to take that chance to be with you! We can be careful and keep it under wraps,"

"Then are you willing to not be able to go on dates and just stay in?" Elizabeth stared at the older man, "I mean it, Scar. You can't flaunt me around at least not publicly."

Oscar nodded, "done. I can do that,"

"Then yeah, I'll be yours," Elizabeth had a small smile.

Oscar grinned and grabbed her hand to kiss her knuckles, causing Elizabeth to blush. She also moved to their joined hands to repeat the action and rest their hands on her thigh. Their moment was interrupted by Oscar's phone ringing.

"Hermanito," Oscar answered the phone.

"Oscar! I just got pulled up on by LaTrelle. Monse's with me right now," Cesar freaked out on the phone.

"Where are you?" Oscar seethed.

"At the bodega,"

"Be there in 10. Stay there," Oscar hung up with a tight face, but slightly relaxed when Elizabeth took his hand with both of hers and kissed the top of his hand.

10 minutes later, Oscar and Elizabeth were at the bodega and Elizabeth immediately got out to hug Cesar and Monse, glad that they were alright. Everybody was too scared to even notice that the two unlikely friends came to the scene together.

#Oscar Diaz #oscar spooky diaz #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz imagines #the innocent oscar diaz fanfiction #julio macias #julio macias fanfic #julio macias fanfiction #on my block #omb #netflix #netflix on my block

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boyfriend-cal · 5 years ago

Note

so what if like you're like someone whos a friend of spiderman (like you see him often & sometimes find him on the fire escape outside of your apartment) & you've recently had a fight with someone about trust & spiderman is trying to give you advice but it makes you mad bc he's telling you all these things but none of it is about his and yours friendship bc he won't tell you who he really is

I hope you like it! this is the first thing I’ve ever written for Peter :)

(friendly reminder: masterlist, taglist, request)

word count: 2.2k

I’m really sorry y/n I have to reschedule hanging out again, please don’t hate me I promise I’ll make it up to you

You stared at your phone as the text came in. This is the third time Peter has rescheduled your pizza-and-arcade night. Sure, Peter had always been kind of spotty with plans, but he’s never rescheduled something three times.

In fact, this activity, in particular, was supposed to be your first date. That’s what you thought anyway, you guessed maybe Peter missed that part of the conversation. Or he didn’t want to go, so he kept blowing you off instead of just saying he didn’t want to.

Let’s not reschedule. I got the point. See you at school on Monday.

You sent him the text before you could talk yourself out of it. After being let down three times you have the right to be mad, you didn’t need to be kind and make him feel better for making you feel bad. At this point, you were more angry and annoyed than sad. If Peter had ever given you a reason he couldn’t make it, you’d understand, but all of his texts were just like the one you received a few minutes ago. Vague. Peter never explained why he couldn’t be there.

Someone exited the pizza shop you’d already arrived at, pulling your attention away from your phone. You guessed it was time to go home. Another night you’d be sitting alone.

“Y/N! Peter is here to see you.” Your mom calls throughout the small apartment. You immediately jump up, you don’t want him to come into your room because then you won’t be able to tell him to leave.

You rush to the door and see your mom invite him in. The shock on Peter’s face as you push his chest with your palm is a little bit surprising. He steps back out into the hallway, and you shut the apartment door behind you.

“I uh, I tried calling and t-texting before I came over, but you didn’t answer.” Peter is nervous, and you can tell, but you’re still mad.

“I don’t want to talk to you. I said I’d see you on Monday, so why’d you come here?” You cross your arms and Peters fingers tighten around his backpack straps.

“I wanted to a-apologize. I know I’ve missed our plans three times now and I’m so sorry.”

You wait for a second to see if he’s going to say anything else, like maybe give you an actual reason. Instead, he takes his backpack off and bends over to get something out of it. “But I got you these if that makes a difference. They’re a little squished, I-I’m sorry about that too.”

When Peter stands up, he’s holding a bouquet of small flowers. He’s right, some of them are pressed flat, and others have petals missing. You take them from him. “That’s all?”

Peter is visibly shaking in front of you, and you want to take his hand so he doesn’t feel so anxious, but you’re supposed to be mad at him right now.

“Uhm… Y-Yeah I guess that’s all.” Slowly he zips up his backpack and slings it back over his shoulder.

“Why don’t you ever give a reason for having to reschedule?” You question. “It’s always,’ Sorry, can’t make it.’ But never an actual reason or even an excuse.”

Now Peter looks at his shoes. They’re scuffed, but so are yours. “It’s just something I can’t talk about. It’s not like a-another girl o-or anything, but I-I can’t tell you.”

He looks back up to you, and you groan. “Why did I have a feeling that’s what you’d say? I thought we were best friends, but you have things you can’t talk about around me? I’ve told you everything about me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I feel like I deserve some kind of explanation, Peter.”

“You do. You r-really do, but I can’t give you one. I know that’s shitty of me but I just can’t.”

“Why? Do you not trust me? Maybe I should be the one who doesn’t trust you.” You throw your hands up and try not to raise your voice, but it’s hard. You’re angry and upset because the boy you like doesn’t even like you enough to tell you what’s going on. It hurts more because he was your best friend before he was the boy you liked.

“No, Y/N/N come on. I trust you, I p-promise I do. Don’t do this, I-I’ll make it up to you.” Peter reaches forward, but you step back toward your front door.

“You can make it up to me when you can tell me what’s been going on. Until then, I’ll see you around.” You open the door behind you and back inside, quickly shutting it and taking a deep breath. Your mom is no longer in the living room, so you don’t have to explain when your face prunes up, and the tears start to fall.

You close your bedroom door behind you and throw the broken flowers onto your computer desk. Why? What had you done to make him not trust you?

The sky outside is dark when you step out onto the fire escape. You pull your cardigan closer around you as you climb up three flights to the roof. There’s a garden up there, but you’re not sure who takes care of it. You like to come up here and look around when you want to clear your head.

Your eyes scan the rooftop for the familiar red and blue suit but come up short. Sometimes you see Spider-Man up here. He must live nearby or something because he’s up here a lot of the times you are. You’d had a few conversations, and you guessed you could consider him a friend.

The purple flowers that rest on the end of the nearest row have always been your favorite. You pick one and then go to sit with your legs hanging off the ledge of the building. It was usual, and safe since the first escape was right below you.

Your tears start up again as you start to think about Peter. Was he even your friend anymore? Could you trust him? It took you a long time to open up to him the way that you did, and you thought he did the same to you, but then you find out he’s still hiding things. It wasn’t like he had to tell you everything, but this related to you and he knew how skeptical you were to open up to him. It was stupid, and you knew something was going to happen to make you regret it. Tears trickle down your face.

A soft thud behind you lets you know you’re not alone. You decide there’s no use in wiping your tears, he’ll see that you’re upset anyway. “You can sit.”

Without turning to look at him, you pat the cement next to you, so Spider-Man knows he’s invited. He sits down quietly, letting his feet slowly dangle back and forth.

“You doing okay?” He asks, turning to you.

You shrug. “Just thinking that someone isn’t who I thought they were.”

Spider-Man doesn’t say anything. You wish you could see behind the mask to know what kind of facial expressions he’s making.

“How come? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Guess it doesn’t matter now. There’s this boy I like, his name is Peter. H-“

“Your best friend, Peter? That you’ve talked about before or a different Peter?” Spidey interrupts you in a confused tone, and you bite back a smile.

“Same one. Anyway, we were supposed to go on a date-“

“A date?” Spider-Man interrupts again, and you can still hear the shock in his voice.

“Yeah, a date. Why is that weird? We were going to eat pizza and then play in the arcade at that place on Main street. Except he’s canceled three times now, and I-“

“Are you sure he knew it was a date? Maybe he didn’t know.” This time you roll your eyes at him.

“Can you stop interrupting me? You asked me what happened, so let me tell you.” You wag your nagging finger at him, and you earn a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Continue.” He holds up his hands in surrender, and you keep going.

“To answer your question, I assumed he knew it was a date. I made sure to emphasize that it was the first time we were hanging out not at one of our houses and I said ‘Let’s go out,’ so I guess I beat around the bush a little bit, but my point still felt like it was made. Anyway, I’m not even mad about him not showing up. I’m mad that he won’t tell me why he hasn’t been able to. Why can’t he give me a reason? It makes me feel like I can’t trust him after everything we’ve said to each other, he can’t let me know what’s going on with him?” You take a deep breath and try not to cry again. The ground below you looks lonely and empty.

“Maybe he has a good reason, even if you don’t know what it is. He might tell you one day. Or maybe he’s protecting you by not telling you.” You whip your head to look at Spider-Man. He’s taking Peter’s side, and he didn’t even know Peter.

“Are you kidding me? You’re on his side? You don’t even know him, but you’re just like him apparently. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. We’ve been friends for what? A long time and you’ve never told me who you are. I bet you wouldn’t right? You can’t, because it’s just one of those things.” You use air quotes and then stand up. Spidey stands with you on the ledge, careful to watch in case you fall.

“If you know who I am someone who is targeting me could also target you. You’re smart enough to figure that out, Y/N.” He says quietly, you can’t see his eyes, but you feel like he’s looking into yours.

“I don’t care about having a target on my back. I care that the two friends I thought I had don’t trust me enough to let me in on their lives. I knew making friends when I moved here was a bad idea. I’ve been alone at every other school, and I shouldn’t have assumed this would be any different. Don’t come back here if you see me up here.” You’re angry again but still crying because it hurts. You trusted them, but they didn’t feel like they could trust you.

As you start to climb back down the fire escape, you hear him tell you not to go. You don’t reply, and then you feel something sticky wrap around your hand. Before you can blink, you’re behind pulled through the air. You land in Spider-Mans arms, and he sets you down.

“Did you actually just stop me from leaving? Don’t do that again. I’m going home.” You turn around, but he grabs your hand again. The spandex of his suit feels weird against your soft skin. You don’t look back at him.

“Please Y/N. I’m sorry. I never wanted you to feel like you were alone.” For the first time, you think Spider-Man is crying. “I can explain everything if you’ll just look at me.”

His last sentence is clear as day. Usually, his voice is muffled by the mask just a little bit. It sounds odd like… You turn around to see Peter. He’s in the Spider-Man suit, minus the mask, his hair is a mess from having been flattened and then released. His eyes are red and puffy, and tears are running down his cheeks, much like yours.

“Peter? You’re Spider-Man? This is why you missed our date?” You’re shocked. You can barely make out the words, but Peter nods solemnly.

“I swear, Y/N, I didn’t know it was a date. I’m dense and oblivious sometimes, and I honestly would’ve never put it together, but if I had known I would’ve done so many things for you. I like you, and I’d love to go on a date, and I’m just really sorry it all happened this way.” Peter takes a deep breath but still looks at you like he’s in pain.

“It’s okay, I get it now. All I wanted was an explanation, Peter. Thank you.” You hold your arms open, and he smiles before he steps into you. The embrace is warm and Peter is a little sweaty but it’s okay.

“So tomorrow at 7, I’ll come get you and we’ll go on a real date. Pizza and arcade games?” Only a few hints are left on Peters face that he had been crying.

“Of course. I’ll be there if you’ll be there.” You wink at him and he takes your hand and swings them back and forth between the two of you.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Feedback is always appreciated! Please like or reblog if you enjoyed it 💞

Taglist: @calumsnatchedmyheart @aulxna @sebastian-sunshine-stan @mikeyglifford @fluffsshawn @lustingfor5sos @bodaciousbonzi1996 (if u wanna be removed let me know!)

#kris10 answers requests #kris10 writes #peter parker fanfic #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #peter parker fic #peter parker blurb #peter parker request #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #marvel #mcu fanfic

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blackandblueandstars · 5 years ago

Text

It's Okay Pt5

TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses mental, emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Especially sensitive for LGBT readers.

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4

Amy woke up when the door slammed open. A guard walked in, a devious smile on his face.

"You've been quite the troublemaker," he said to her.

Amy was silent, staring at the ceiling.

"I think you could use a little extra therapy," he said. "Don't you?"

He approached Amy slowly, unbuckling his belt.

"Maybe your real problem is you've just never had a good dick?" he asked, his rancid breath in her face.

Amy didn't bother begging. She knew it didn't matter. These people wouldn't stop.

The guard climbed on top of her, jerking his penis a few times. He touched her breasts, tweaking her nipples as his hard cock brushed against her entrance.

"Girls like you," he said, "You get off on the tease. I'll put you in your place."

He shoved himself inside Amy. She cried out at the pain, turning her head to look at the wall. The paint was peeling. She followed the cracks like lifelines, begging for the end to come.

The guard thrust inside her before finally ejaculating. She felt the warmth inside her and fought to hold back vomit. He climbed off her, cleaning himself and refastening his pants. He undid Amy's restraints, pulling her back to the room.

He dropped her to the cot and she lay there, not moving. She was alone in the room. "I should try to look around, figure out a way to escape," she thought. But her body failed her. It had shut down after all the trauma. So she lay there, and she thought.

How long had it been? How much longer until Kamilah found her? She tried to think past the pain. They kidnapped her, then transferred her to the boat, then to here. That had to be a few hours. Then they did the shock therapy...a few more hours? How long was there between sessions? Had it even been a full day yet?

The door opened and they brought in Sam, naked, and tossed her on her cot.

Amy sat with all of her willpower, looking at her the best she could through her swollen eyes.

"God," said Sam. "That looks bad."

Amy gave her a pained smile. "Should've seen the other guy," she said through gritted teeth. She stood slowly, returning Sam's blanket to her.

"Thanks," she said, taking it and covering herself. Amy returned to her bunk and sat wrapped in her own thin blanket.

"How have you done this for so long?" asked Amy. "I mean, I've been here...what, a day? I don't think I could survive weeks."

"Well," said Sam quietly, "it helps if you don't fight them."

Amy nodded. "Damn my stubborn personality," she chuckled.

Sam smiled at her. "Thanks for trying to stand up for me," she said. "You didn't have to do that."

"Neither of us should have to be experiencing any of this," Amy replied sullenly.

"Well," said Sam, "the day is through. They'll rest now. So we get a reprieve."

"Well thank God for little miracles," said Amy. "Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

---

Kamilah slammed into park and shut off the car, quickly exiting the vehicle, Adrian stumbling to keep up.

They entered the organization's headquarters.

"I'd like to talk to the person in charge," Kamilah said to the receptionist.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't get your name," she said.

"I didn't give it," Kamilah replied.

"I see," said the receptionist. "What can I help you with?"

"You kidnapped my girlfriend. I want her back. Now."

The woman smiled, picking up the phone.

"Yes, we have a woman here who would like your assistance, thank you," she hung up the phone.

Two men in suits walked out, guns strapped at their waist. They walked up to Kamilah.

"Ma'am," said the first man. "I need you to leave."

Kamilah smiled.

In no time at all she had removed both of their guns, tossing the ammunition in a nearby fishtank.

"No," she said, eyes flashing red. "Show me to the person who can tell me where my girlfriend is."

The security guards stared, wide-eyed, pointing towards the elevator.

"Cards," said Kamilah, nodding to their ID badges. They removed them, handing them to her.

"Let's go," she said to Adrian. "Before they call the cops."

They entered the elevator, heading to the top floor.

The elevator doors opened to a reception desk where a woman sat. Kamilah walked past her towards the office behind her.

"Excuse me!" the woman shouted. Kamilah put her hand up, not stopping.

She opened the door to the office, staring at a man sitting behind a large Executive desk.

"Uh, who are you?" he asked.

"That," she said, "depends on you."

"I don't follow," he said.

"You kidnapped my girlfriend. Her name is Amy. Her mother's name is Linda. I need to know where she is."

"I'm afraid--" Kamilah rushed to the man, slamming him against the window behind him, the glass slowly cracking.

"I'm not asking," said Kamilah.

"O--okay," the man said. "It's in my computer."

"Give my friend here the information he needs to find her location and maybe you live," she said.

"P-P-password is ScaredStraight, both capitalized. There is a folder called safehouses. That's a list of every location and the people in each."

"Got it," said Adrian.

"Print the whole thing," Kamilah told him.

The glass cracked further.

"P-p-please!" the man screamed.

Five pages printed out of the printer. Adrian scanned them, finding Amy's name.

"Okay," said Adrian. "We're good."

The glass gave in that moment, the man only held up by Kamilah's grip.

He begged her to save him.

"Ugh," said Kamilah, rolling her eyes. She thought of Amy and knew she couldn't let him fall. She threw him across the office, smiling as he slammed into the wall and passed out.

"Let's go," she said to Adrian.

Part 6

Author's Note: I had the idea to write this after watching a segment about a conversion camp. This has been particularly hard for me to write, but it feels necessary to me to explore the horrors that people exactly like myself have experienced. I wanted to add some resources where people share real stories of their experiences and survivors can go to find help:

National Center for Lesbian Rights

Love is a Rainbow

Article from The Cut

Tag list: @h-doodles @scarlet-letter-a0114 @idkbutkamilah @lightning-fury @galaxyside-0 @blogsupitssam @ilovetaylor13m @la-guera-69 @adrianrainesworld

#kamilah sayeed x mc #kamilah sayeed #mc x kamilah #kamilah x mc #kamilah #bb kamilah #bb choices #choices bb #bb kamilah sayeed #adrian raines #bb adrian #Choices #bb&s writes

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tmnt-veelicious · 5 years ago

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Across the Stars - Ch.16

Writing this chapter somehow felt good. It took time, but I do like the interactions in it ! ANYWAY, have fun reading <3

Nowadays writing this fic helps me calm my nerves a lot~

Maybe there’s some errors here and there, but I’ll probably fix them over time. For now I feel okay with this -shrugs-

!! WARNING, NSFW (18+) STUFF HAPPENING HERE !!

First Chapter –> HERE Previous Chapter –> HERE Next Chapter –> HERE

Vee understood the reasoning, but she still couldn't help feeling left out. Didn't their friendship mean anything to the reporter? No, of course it did, but Vee knew that being apart could provide them a better cover. Moving away would erase their trail, give them a chance to start fresh. It was heartbreaking, but it was needed, in a sense... Her feet brought her to the lair, first finding the place empty, except for Splinter's presence. As she guessed, the guys were on patrol, giving a chance for the artist to spend some time with the sensei. Cup of tea in hand, both seated in the dining area, Vee could finally breathe in and out peacefully, trying to calm her thoughts. Splinter didn't need to talk, he knew there was nothing that had to be forced out. Frankly, he wanted the woman to talk on her own will, reveal her worries if needed. He first noticed her trembling hands, the cup she was holding shaking ever so lightly and the liquid threatening to spill out on a very few occasions. Then her gaze seemed absent, unfocused, lost in thoughts she kept repeating over and over in her mind. ''I hate that I have such a hard time with my emotions,'' she finally started with a small voice. The rat was all ears now, keeping silent in order to not break her chain of thoughts. ''I can either be scared and sad, or terribly angered, it's like there's no inbetween.... I hate that I'm so weak and never know how to react properly. My anxiety pushes me to extremes I do not want to deal with.'' She set her cup down, her eyes meeting Splinter's. ''… I'm sorry, I'm just blabbering.'' ''No, child, you are not,'' replied the rat calmly. ''In this house I want everyone to speak their mind freely.'' A small smile colored his traits. ''You somehow remind me of Raphael.'' The artist showed surprise. ''Well then, time to get dressing in red,'' she lightly joked. ''… How is it so, if you don't mind me asking?'' The other took a sip of tea, gathering his words: ''He, too, deals in extremes. Raphael's emotions are raw and true, which can be both a strength and a weakness. … His thoughts often go haywire, which will provoke many arguments with his brothers, but it's also in those moments of distress that he learns and grows.'' Splinter placed his cup on the table, his hands joining and his posture serene. ''Time is but a wave that brushes us, shapes us like rocks against a never-ending tide. The process is long, tedious, even painful at times, but from the most rugged surfaces emerges smooth and polished results. … Life is a continuous learning process, its trials here for a reason.'' Vee mindlessly rubbed her left forearm, half of a smile appearing on her lips. ''Sometimes it's hard to remember that,'' she said. ''… It's like I'm never allowed to catch my breath.'' ''Do you tell Donatello of your concerns?'' The woman sighed briefly: ''Sometimes. He knows of my situation with my family, he knows about some of my issues, but there are things I prefer to keep at bay. … He shouldn't have to deal with most of my problems. Those weights are mine alone to bear.'' ''Perhaps,'' replied Splinter. ''But a different point of view might bring some light into most of your struggles. … My son is a gentle and rational soul; he is able to view things from a different angle and bring forth a hidden wisdom. He takes great pride in helping others and widening their horizons.'' The rat stood up, coming to the other's side so he could leave a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''He is very well aware of his limits and I know he cares deeply about you. Do not be afraid to speak your mind with him. He prefers when others are straight-forward and true about their feelings.'' ''I'll try to keep this in mind,'' answered Vee in a gentle tone. ''Thank you, master Splinter.'' Her smile was still on, but as soon as the mutant was out of view as he walked out the kitchen, Vee's mood shifted back to a neutral expression. She tried to push her thoughts and emotions away, knowing now was not the time to sulk and get drowned in such feelings. With a small sigh, she got up in turn, making her way to Donatello's workspace. Sitting down in his chair, she began to tap on his computer, already on the lookout for a new apartment. Anything to keep her occupied... *** ''Man, robbers are so predictable these days. There's not much fun into catching them anymore,'' echoed Raph's voice as the group was making their way back to the lair. ''Dude, what now? You want them to do some parkour shit while we're chasing them?'' laughed Mikey. ''Nah, I mean, they could rob somethin' more interesting than a convenience store! … How 'bout a strip club?'' ''Now we're talkin'!'' Donnie tsked and rolled his eyes, although with a smile. He would've probably entertained the idea in the past, but for now it sounded so futile, he could only be amused by his brothers' shenanigan comments. As they arrived to their home, the turtles parted ways to each their own. At two 'o clock in the morning, there was still time to do things before heading to bed. The purple clad mutant wasn't much for staying late since he'd been up way earlier than his brothers today, but he knew he had one last thing to check at his computer. He approached his station and frowned when he noticed the screens on, a browser opened and the window scrolling. ''What the-...'' he mumbled. He finally got to his chair, turning it around and then noticing Vee, the woman's eyes big by the sudden move. ''Vee?'' ''Uh, yeah, hi. Sorry, I needed your computer....'' she trailed, timid. Donnie shook his head a little, clearing his thoughts. ''N-no, no, it's okay! I simply didn't know you were here. … Since when? Why didn't you call or text me? … And it's late!'' The woman smiled sheepishly. ''It's been hours. … I got in when you guys just left for patrol – at least that's what Splinter told me.'' Her hands fiddled together. ''And, uh, I just needed to see you...'' He instantly knew something was wrong. He glanced at the screen, noticing advertisments for places to rent. ''… What are you doing?'' he asked, his gaze unmoving. ''I'm doing some research.'' ''About what?'' ''I'm trying to find a new apartment for myself.'' Silence. He finally looked back at Vee. The woman seemed smaller than usual, her eyes avoiding him, everything in fact. The mutant finally crouched down to her level. ''… What? Why?'' ''April is moving in with Casey by the end of this month – in three weeks. They say it'll be better this way; it's for protection.'' ''For protection?'' commented Donnie, visibly irritated. ''What, she and Casey simply decided about that without consulting you? Without consulting anybody?'' ''I dunno, Donnie. I'm as confused as you... I'm scared, in fact.'' He slightly froze at that confession. His hands did move, petting her skin tenderly and cupping her cheek. ''… Don't be, love, I'll help you. We'll do this together, okay?'' Vee's head nodded a little, bringing a smile on Donnie's lips – and to her own by the same occasion. Both moved, soon the mutant rightfully sitting in his chair and the human seated in his lap. He could feel the tension in her body, her shoulders stiff and clenched. She was obviously stressed, Donnie trying his best to ease her mind by continuing his petting, his touch soft and light. ''I've found three places that don't look too dirty or horrible so far,'' she began, taking control of the computer mouse. ''… Why are those closet-like apartments so expensive anyway? It's ridiculous! I could get a bigger one in Montréal for maybe even less.'' ''New York's a mess, but it still has its charms!'' ''Gotta agree on that. … It has you!'' The mutant snickered, hugging the human from behind, nuzzling her hair. They spent the next half-hour looking through several advertisments, keeping some aside for Vee to call on the first occasion. After a while, the artist simply gave up, prefering to lean completely against the turtle, feeling his arms snake around her form. She was pensive, lightly frowning as a sigh escaped her lips. ''This whole situation feels so surreal,'' she confessed. ''What's your plan if you can't find anything in time?'' asked Donatello, his fingers absentmindedly pursuing his petting activity. Vee shrugged: ''I dunno. I'd probably stay at a hotel until I find a place...'' The other seemed to hesitate a moment. ''… What about living here, at the lair?'' Vee's body straightened, slightly turning around to look at the other. She seemed unsure, shy... ''I dunno...,'' she started. ''It wouldn't feel right.'' ''What do you mean?'' ''I wouldn't want to intrude. I wouldn't want to be an added burden to your family.'' Donnie frowned: ''What do you mean by an added burden? That wouldn't be true!'' ''Don-'' ''You don't need to do this all by yourself. You're not back in Montréal, Vee. People here care about you, myself obviously included. I wouldn't let you get in trouble anyway.'' ''Donnie, no, I mean-'' she trailed off, knowing she would regret what she was about to say: ''I'm human, I can't- I just... my life is up there.'' That look. The way she could see sadness invade his eyes as he looked down, suddenly realizing her words. She wanted to punch herself. ''Shit, this came out so wrong,'' she mumbled. ''No, no, please, you're thinking rationally. That's not a bad thing,'' added Donnie, his tone calm. ''I was just thinking for myself here.'' ''I still feel like a jerk for saying that.'' He stopped her by lovingly nuzzling her cheek, leaving soft kisses. ''… Can you at least consider the option?'' he asked. ''If things ever go wrong, I just want you to know that you're always welcomed here.'' ''I will,'' answered Vee, her eyes closed as she lost herself to his touch. ''And I appreciate it, that's for sure.'' A soft sigh left her as she still felt the other kiss her skin. The warmest feeling would always invade her whenever near the mutant and she knew she could never get enough of it. ''… Is it okay if I stay for some days?'' she asked in a small voice. ''I don't want to face April right now... I don't know what to do.'' ''Don't worry, it's absolutely fine,'' reassured Donnie. ''I'm glad you're here, anyway.'' ''Wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now...'' added Vee tenderly, turning her head so she could rightfully meet his lips. She still entertained the idea of living here in the back of her mind, but truthfully she knew she was right. At least … she hoped she was. *** The best sign of warmer days was incessant pours of rain, streams coursing down buildings and streets in a most franctic pace. Donnie hated those days, knowing it wasn't the best for his gear, but he managed anyway as he made his way to Vee and April's apartment the very next night the artist got to the lair. She needed more clothes and things, sending the mutant to fetch those as she didn't want to face the reporter yet. The turtle had hoped that the place would be empty, but a dry sigh left him as he spotted lights inside, towards the kitchen. Getting in, he knew his presence would be quickly noticed, soon hearing footsteps coming his way. ''Oh my god, wait, I'll go fetch towels,'' first said April, already on the lookout for something to dry the other. … Gosh he didn't want to talk to her. As the brunette was back, he muttered a 'thanks', already on the task to remove the water on his scales and clothes. A small silence settled in, feeling the woman's gaze on him, but he didn't look back. ''… Where's Vee?'' ''At the lair,'' simply answered Donnie. ''She'll be staying for some days.'' ''And why is she not with you here? What are you doing alone?'' The mutant stopped, neatly folding the towel and next leaving it on a coffee table nearby. When he finally looked back at April, his expression was neutral, yet frowning a little. ''You must certainly have a clue why, April,'' he started. ''… I'm here right now because Vee needs more stuff. 'Cause, you know, I'm helping her to find a new place to live in ridiculous delays. It would have been nicer to have an earlier heads up, but, hey, life's a bitch ain't it?'' April frowned. ''… Look, this is all unexpected-'' ''I don't give a shit,'' cut Donnie, losing the little thread of patience he had held. ''Don't you realize you're putting Vee in trouble? For you it's fine 'cause you already have another place, but for her it's hell. Finding a reasonnable apartment in New York in such brief delays takes luck!'' ''She'll find something!'' ''And what if she doesn't?'' The woman was silent now, her eyes avoiding him. The turtle simply huffed: ''That's right, you don't have any answer 'cause you don't give a damn.'' ''That's not true!'' ''If that was the case, you'd be searching with her. You wouldn't be here all alone.'' ''Donnie, I-'' He stopped her, lifting a hand. ''Look,'' he started. ''I'm not here to pick a fight. Do what you want, I don't care.'' He got on the move, going to Vee's room. But April was not finished. She followed, stopping at the doorframe. ''Can't you understand that I'm also torn about this?'' she started, upset and yet angered a little. ''Vee is my friend and now this is happening. … I don't want to lose her, but I'm doing this with best intentions.'' ''For 'protection', as I was told,'' replied the mutant, still packing things. ''Yes. I-'' She stopped, visibly upholding something. That did pique Donnie's curiosity, finally turning to her and gesturing her to continue. ''Go on, say what's on your mind.'' The brunette folded her arms, her expression faltering as she tried to retain some tears. ''… Casey and I are trying to start a family,'' she muttered. ''He wants me out of danger. He wants me safe...'' Donatello felt his tension fade away, suddenly feeling dumb for not having listened in the first place. ''I know this is all sudden,'' she continued. ''And I told Casey to wait and make things easier. … But that last incident Vee got into, it's like it snapped something in him. … He likes her, but right now he sees her as a trouble magnet and he just wants to get me away from here as fast as he can.'' The turtle's mind was running wild, processing all that information. He sat on Vee's bed, thoughtful. April decided to finally come in, sitting down beside him. ''I don't want all this drama. I don't want Vee to drift away from our friendship,'' she added. ''She's an incredible person and probably the best roommate I ever got,'' she faintly laughed, but it was soon back to contemplation. ''I-, uhm, I'm sorry. I probably sounded so harsh and mean earlier,'' blabbered Donnie. ''Have I known the details better...'' He stopped when he felt the woman's hand on his, stopping his train of thoughts. ''Don't you worry about it. … You're angry, I get it. Vee is sad and hurt and I totally understand that you're feeling this way. … I know how much you love her.'' Removing his glasses, Donnie next pinched lightly inbetween his eyes, trying to smile, but small tears escaping him. ''Dammit,'' he murmured. ''Second time this week....'' He never liked crying. He felt so stupid when doing so... ''What's wrong?'' gently asked April. ''… We're family, Don, you can tell me anything.'' Another attempt of a smile flashed on the mutant's lips, his eyes meeting April's. ''I love her so much, I really do...,'' he started. ''I can't even begin to explain how much good she has brought into my life.'' He tried to dry his tears. ''I love her so much, sometimes it hurts. I just can't see myself without her nowadays. It's like she was that missing part of myself I've been searching for so long... And now that she's here, I can't let her go.'' Gosh, he felt ridiculous.... ''She accepts me for who I am and never questionned if our relationship would work or not because of our... differences. She knows, just as I, that we were meant to meet and experience all of this, together.... I don't believe in fate, but I may as well start as of right now!'' He held the woman's hand in his, seeking small comfort. ''Casey tried to question Vee and I's relationship. I know he wishes for me to stay away from her, but I just can't. I'd never be able to!'' ''Don't you ever let him, or anyone, make a decision for you,'' cut April. ''You deserve all of this, as much as anyone else.'' ''Sometimes it's hard to believe it, but I try my best,'' he smiled lightly. He placed his glasses to their rightful place, trying to shake his weakness away. ''I'd do anything for Vee and all I wish is for her to be safe. … I blame myself so much for what happened recently and I'll dare say I'm a bit surprised that she's still by my side, even with all this bullshit going on,'' he scoffed. ''She is very well aware of the risks,'' started April. ''And that doesn't dissuade her from loving you. … I think, in fact, it reinforces the feelings she has for you. … She admires you, Donnie. You're an inspiration for her and she truly wants to be a part of your life – as long as you let her be so.'' ''And I feel so lucky for that,'' he added. ''I do want her to be in my life...'' He sighed, looking around the room. Everything Vee had to offer; her smile, her laugh, her curiosity, her intellect, her love... She was fascinating in every aspects. His gaze back on April, he tried to redeem himself with half of a smile, yet sincere. ''I'll talk to her and explain your situation, if that can help and ease the tension.'' ''You can try, but I want to be able to explain myself to her – face to face. Casey and I probably broke her heart.... And I can't stop thinking about it, in all honesty.'' ''Maybe you could also think about ways to help her?'' offered the mutant. ''Right now, I'm sure Vee will gladly accept any help she can get. … And if some of it comes from you, I'm sure it would mean a lot.'' ''For sure,'' answered the woman with a soft smile. ''I'll think of something. I won't let her down.'' Following that consensus, she next helped Donnie pack things for the artist. The mood was definitely lighter, April showing a smirk as she pondered back to everything that previously unfolded. ''You know... you're kinda scary and intimidating when angry,'' she said, amused. ''Didn't expect that from you.'' The terrapin huffed a small chuckle, taking the clothes April was handing to him and putting them in the bag. ''I am 'the calm before the storm', as Mikey likes to say. … My brothers know that I'm chill most of the time, but if my buttons are pressed right I can easily explode. And, I dunno, … since I'm with Vee I have this feeling of 'I must protect' that simply started to amplify. It's somehow difficult to explain.'' ''It's difficult to explain since it's your first relationship, but believe me; this is not an uncommon feeling. Men, as well as women, share this mutual sentiment when they're with someone. You'd do anything for them and they would do the same in return.'' ''Which is somehow fascinating. … I never thought I would feel this way or that anyone would in return.'' ''Then you found the right person,'' winked April. On that he had no doubt! *** As Donatello was away, Vee took that opportunity to get some work done on a music piece she had recently started to compose. Seated at the piano near the terrapin's workstation, she carefully pushed some keys, humming in harmony, and stopping by moments to write notes on a blank partition. It was a soothing tune, reminiscent of calm periods, memories of days spent in silence and contemplation. The smell of her coffee nearby helped for inspiration, the distant echo of rain outside bringing the woman back to such a peaceful scene. Replaying what she had wrote so far, she only noticed a presence nearby as she took a pause and reached for her mug. Raph was watching, his stance relaxed, arms crossed and his body slightly leaning against a metal beam. Vee felt like shrinking, not used to be looked upon when working. ''… Am I playing too loud?'' she asked, shy. ''Oh, no!'' reassured the mutant. ''Sorry, I was just listenin'. … What you're playin' sounds nice.'' A soft smile crossed the woman's lips: ''Thanks! It's still in the works, though.'' Raph lightly frowned, getting in motion towards the artist. ''Wait, what? You composed that?'' ''Sure thing! I studied in that field at some point back in College. Better make some use of that knowledge.'' ''Alright, smarty-pants, next time I'll just assume you learned how to do everything, just like Donnie,'' joked the other. That did get a hushed laugh out of Vee, knowing too well she could never truly compare to her boyfriend. Her expression shifted after a quick thought, soon changing the subject as Raph was still near. ''Hey … are you busy?'' she asked. ''Depends for what,'' smirked the turtle. Vee's position shifted on her bench, now her back facing the piano. ''Is it okay if we chat for a bit? Please, have a seat,'' she offered, gesturing a chair so he could bring it near. The red clad mutant seemed unsure at first, but soon shrugged it off as he brought the furniture next to the woman, sitting down and crossing his arms once more. ''Sure. What's on your mind, nerd?'' Vee's mind was suddenly blank, somehow feeling ridiculous for what she was about to bring up: ''… Last night I was kinda in a bad place. I was angry, I couldn't think straight. And once I got here, I was on the verge of a panic attack. … I know you probably don't give a damn-'' ''Why wouldn't I give a damn?'' he cut, calm. The artist was silent, her eyes meeting his. He didn't look annoyed nor angry; he was curious and ready to listen. ''I dunno, I guess that's my anxiety talking here,'' she answered. ''I don't usually talk about that bullshit to others – Donnie being the exception so far.'' ''Yeah he told us about your anxiety.'' He noticed Vee's small frown. ''Don't worry, it was all in good faith,'' quickly corrected Raph. ''He just wanted to inform us about it. … But yeah, what about last night?'' Vee took a sip of coffee, collecting her thoughts. A soft smile was back on her lips, remembering Splinter's words. ''… It seems like we share something, you and I,'' she started. ''Master Splinter told me I reminded him of you, as I also deal with my emotions in absolutes. And … I guess what I wanted to ask is; do you have any tricks or tips about how to deal with such feelings?'' A stifled laugh left the mutant, but never was it in a mocking tone. He shifted his position, his arms no longer crossed as he was now more open to the conversation. ''I'm not sure I'm the best to share any wisdom,'' he started. ''Why not go ask Leo or wait for Donnie to come back?'' ''Because I'm asking you, Raphael. I want your opinion.'' That simple answer shut him up, both now seizing each their emotions and intentions. The turtle sighed after a moment, somehow surprised to be asked about his input. ''… Well, first of all, you gotta learn to accept that those feelings are a part of you. I know they suck and we'd be better off without them, but you've got to honor them.'' He joined hands, somehow feeling uneasy, but still talking: ''You feel them for a reason, and the sooner you accept those, the better it becomes. … Uhm, if you need to punch something, do it! I know it helps me. … There's a punching bag in the dojo.'' That brought a smile on Vee's features, still listening patiently. ''You have the right to be mad at people, but that feeling should never stay with you. … At some point it'll just start to rot and, well, that ain't good. … You can scream, you can cry, you can do anything, as long as you get it out your system. That's why I blow out sometimes. But I've been learning to manage those moments, setting boundaries for others to respect and for me to retreat and let the steam away.'' His eyes were soft, his smile friendly. ''… What I'm tryin' to say, though, is that you shouldn't be scared to show your true colors. At least, not with Donnie, and even with me. … This family can handle anythin'!'' ''I have no doubts about that,'' sweetly commented Vee. ''…. Thanks, Raph.'' ''Heh, t'wasn't much, though.'' ''Still, what you said made sense and it was nice to hear.'' It was somehow surprising to witness this side of the terrapin. On the first meeting, he had seemed as unaproachable, stern, and a man of very few words; while in fact he could be truly articulate and wise, thanks to experiences. Maybe it took him time to truly open up to Vee, and the woman was glad he was finally starting to. ''Never thought you'd be the kind of person to blow up,'' added Raph, playful. ''I thought you were just some kind of shy bean like my tree of a brother.'' That brought up a laughter from the artist, her smile never fading away. ''I tend to bottle my emotions a lot and at some point it just snaps. It's mostly tears most of the time. It ain't pretty.'' ''It never has to be pretty,'' commented the terrapin. ''But if that's what it takes to cool you down, so be it. And if one day Donnie cannot accept that, you tell me and I'mma beat his ass up. I'm dead serious.'' ''Deal,'' chuckled Vee. ''Although I'm sure it'll never get to that.'' *** The day had seemed to last forever. From work being hectic to calling landlords in order to plan visits to certain apartments, Vee thought her mind would explode at some point. No matter how many coffees she drank, it seemed like her energy was being sapped away, her headache everlasting. She only started to breathe once she made her way back to the Lair, feeling like she could finally put everything behind her and get to relax. … Or so she thought! How was she dragged into bo staff training with Donnie? At this point she just shrugged it off, simply glad to spend time with him. Both were dressed for a workout; Vee in black leggings and a sport bra, Donnie wearing dark grey sweatpants. He looked at ease, effortlessly warming up by doing simple rowing and figures with his staff as Vee was stretching. That show off, thought the woman, both showing a smirk as their gazes crossed. Up on her feet, the first thing she felt was the tip of Donatello's staff lightly tapping and poking her thighs and sides, his grin forever present as he started to talk. ''Today you're gonna learn how to not hit yourself.'' He brought Vee closer to him with the help of his bo, keeping her a prisonner. ''The staff is an extension of your arms and a tool that gains much power, all thanks to velocity. You have to be aware of where both its extremities are at all times.'' ''Hmm, so far I like this lesson,'' commented Vee, gently tapping his plastron. ''Focus and you shall be rewarded greatly!'' ''Ho, ho! Yes, sir!'' They were both playful and smiling, the lesson finally starting. The main trick was to repeat movements and be at ease with them. Vee's main weakness was her coordination, which she always thought was funny considering how most of her activities – such as playing music – required such skill. Having Donnie to comment on her technique and help her understand each strikes was definitely a great way for her to learn. He would often stand behind her, holding her hands in his and guiding her. As much as he wanted to stay serious and be a proper teacher, he couldn't help leaving some kisses here and there, mostly as rewards. ''Do you think one day I'd be able to kick your butt?'' asked Vee at some point, amused and comically tapping her staff's ends against his biceps as she was standing before him. Donnie pondered for a moment, only to soon frown with a smile, grabbing her stick in turn and easily lifting the woman up to him with a playful growl. Vee let out a surprised sound, feeling his hold swiftly shift to hold her around her hips and butt, keeping her against him. ''I highly doubt so,'' he answered with a laugh. ''You're free to try, though.'' Vee dropped her staff, frowning in turn. She did not hesitate to start poking his sides, getting a yelp from the terrapin. That made him backtrack until his shell stopped him against a wall, laughing and pleading for the human to stop her poking and tickling. He slid down to sit on the floor, things finally starting to slow down. ''See? I won,'' pointed Vee, feeling victorious. Their eyes met and things suddenly shifted. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the general good feeling of it all? Donnie's hands were petting Vee's back and skin, keeping her so close and their lips brushing. ''I admit... you leave me weak everytime I see you,'' murmured the turtle. The artist's touch trailed on his pebbled skin, from the sides of his neck to his shoulders. She couldn't describe it, yet she felt that magnetism. That feeling that pulled her to him, like a spell. Their lips finally met, eager to feel one another. A flame was lit, their breathings harsh and their touch persistent on one another. Her hips moved on their own, starting a slow grind as she kept kissing. Donnie did not stop her; in fact he kept her movement going by keeping his hands on her waist. The world was spinning, making them feel dizzy with love. Vee was only able to take back her breath for a moment, keeping close as she mumbled: ''What if someone walks in?'' Oh she could already feel his erection, the mutant's churr so deep and low. ''I don't give a fuck,'' he answered, going back into another kiss. Pleasure and desire were already there, Vee's skin getting over-sensitive and letting some moans escape her. Her arms were now hooked around his neck, her body a wave as she kept brushing it against her lover. She felt one of Donnie's hands eagerly tugging at her leggings, soon getting one of her legs out of it. Vee, in turn, only needed to pull down his sweatpants enough to let his sex out, grinding against it with a growing lust. Passion was way high and only the present moment mattered. Everything else was insignificant, the craving of sex increasing with each seconds. I need you right now. Time seemed like a blur, both joining soon enough. Their tempo was already at a langourous pace, breaths harsh and translating their need. ''Ffffffuuuck,'' mewled Vee. She could feel him entirely, rubbing every right parts of her in such a delicious way. His lips trailed her skin, his hands holding onto her as if afraid that she would disappear. They both couldn't lie: the possibility to get caught in the act brought such an immense thrill. It blasted their lust through the roof, eager to meet their end. ''Don't stop, baby, keep going,'' encouraged the mutant breathlessly, his tone only for her to hear. He was answered with a kiss, Vee's pace keeping up and her body trembling from sheer excitement. Her moans were lost against him, her thoughts spinning as she knew her pursuit to ecstasy was coming sooner than expected. Maybe it was because of the spontaneity of it all... A first orgasm rushed through her in a powerful wave, somehow surprised by how short it took her to obtain it. She could feel Donnie's smile against her cheek, his churr rumbling so strongly in his chest and bringing renewed shivers to Vee. Please. Again. ''Cum with me,'' pleaded the artist, nuzzling the other's face, her lips grazing his'. She felt the terrapin's hands get a hold of her hips, guiding her movements. All he could think about was her; her scent, her voice, the feel of her skin and her sex. He never felt that much complete before, like an intricate puzzle that had finally found its missing piece... The way she whispered his name in need, some sweet ''I love you'' escaping her like a melody, oh he did not mean to moan that much in turn, but he couldn't help it! He needed to kiss her just as much as he needed to breathe It was vital, primordial, his eternal need. Vee's whimpers and mewls told him she was close once more, the mutant abandoning himself into this feeling. The next thing he knew was that he was feeling the same bliss as her, nuzzling her and trailing kisses as he cummed. Both were on a cloud, panting as their hands kept caressing one another. Their pace slowed down little by little, the friction ever still so good. The turtle's churr could only express his love, kissing again and again at Vee's neck; enough to leave a mark. Things finally came back down to earth, their eyes meeting. And that's when they softly laughed, still joined, ever feeling so good. ''Did that just happen for real?'' asked Vee, smiling and blushing. ''Judging by how we're still sitting here, linked to one another, I'd say it was indeed very real!'' answered Donatello, snickering. The woman hid her face against the other's neck, grumbling from both amusement and shyness. ''Is the lesson over?'' she added. ''My legs are kinda dead right now...'' She felt the mutant kiss the top of her head, his arms surrounding her into a warm embrace. ''Sure thing, love. In fact, this calls for a bath time. It'll help relax your muscles.'' ''Only if you come take it with me.'' ''Always,'' he cooed. *** As the water stopped running, a long and confortable sigh left the woman as she laid her front side against Donatello's chest, both instantly getting into an embrace, Vee nuzzling her lover's neck and jaw. They could hear faint music coming from the main room of the lair, probably Mikey blasting it somewhere. Deep basses that rumbled in the air, suave hip-hop beats that settled a mood; a New York state of mind. God, she felt so good. She wanted to stay like this forever. Feel this love and have no worries in mind. Her smile was soft, slowly trailing kisses here and there, appreciating the sensation of his scales against her lips. ''I'll be visiting two apartments this weekend,'' she started in a sweet tone. ''They don't seem too bad. I can't wait to see them.'' Their eyes met, the artist still speaking: ''And you know what? I kept thinking about it and now I know why it'll be good that I get my own place.'' ''Do tell,'' added Donnie. ''It will be our place. … Something for the both of us. Something for when you need to get away from the others and just relax. I could even have a corner just for you! Have a desk with things you can work on, I dunno!'' The mutant chuckled, finding the idea adorable and yet very alluring. ''That does sound nice,'' he answered, his fingers tenderly tracing the woman's back. ''Will you be visiting them alone?'' ''I guess so...'' ''Maybe April could check them out with you.'' Vee frowned lightly, remaining silent as she laid her head down against one side of his neck. She mumbled a faint ''I dunno'', a sharp sigh leaving her. She could still feel Donnie's hands against her skin, keeping up his petting and remaining calm. ''… I spoke with her when I went to grab your things. She really feels bad for everything that's happening.'' ''Yeah, sure,'' interjected the artist dryly. ''And she wants to make it up to you,'' continued the other, not skipping a beat after her comment. ''… She wants to explain herself and patch things up. She cares for you, Vee.'' ''Did she tell you why she's moving with Casey?'' ''Yes.'' The artist's head was back up, staring straight at the male. ''So? Why?'' The turtle looked somewhat uneasy, meditating his answer. ''… I don't think it's up to me to explain why. She wants to discuss it with you-'' ''Fuck that,'' cut Vee, iritated. ''Keeping that reason away from me right now will only make me want to not see her even more.'' She couldn't hide her slight pain. ''I'm tired of drama and people keeping secrets. I just want to know so I can stop worrying and coming up with thousands of scenarios in my head. … Can't you at least understand that?'' Facing the other's contemplative silence, the woman got in motion with a sharp sigh, about to exit the bathtub, but Donnie's hand got a gentle hold of her arm, murmuring a ''come here'' as he brought her back to him. Petting her skin again, he left some kisses against her head, feeling sorry. ''Yes I do understand,'' he started. ''I just wanted to respect April's wishes too.... But you're right, I shouldn't let you worry like that.'' ''And I don't even need the full details,'' commented Vee. ''Just the big lines, I don't care. …. But I deserve the right to know.'' The terrapin's sigh was heavy, but his voice calm. ''April and Casey want to start a family. And in light of the recent events, Casey wants April out of any harm – hence why he's urging her to move in with him.'' ''Why didn't she say anything? … For how long were they planning this 'starting a family' thing?'' ''For that I have no answer. You'll need to seek that out with her.'' ''I guess so...,'' mumbled Vee. ''… She calls me a friend, yet she does not confide things like that to me.'' ''Hey, everyone's trying their best, alright? … Don't get started on scenarios and jump to conclusions. You still have to hear her out.'' The woman still mumbled some words under her breath, face hidden against the other's skin. She knew he was right and, frankly, she was glad that he was trying to bring some sense into her. Getting anxious would bring her no good... ''Alright,'' she finally spoke up, moving her head so she could make eye contact with the mutant. ''I'll call her tomorrow and see if she wants to come with me.'' ''Attagirl,'' added Donnie with a soft smile, his fingers trailing along her spine to the nape of her neck. ''You'll see, things will settle. Arguments may occur, but there's always a way to fix things up.'' ''Depends on the situation, but I guess you're right.'' ''I'm always right,'' joked the male. Vee playfully splashed some water towards him, giggling. ''Don't push it!''

#chapter #writing #tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #fanfic #fancharacter #oc #selfinsert #donatello x oc #donatello x selfinsert

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estradioltone · 5 years ago

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Why’s my stomach hurting? Why am I feeling so lonely when I have so many messages to answer? I CANNOT have another favorite person. Does that mean I’m doomed to high school loneliness?

When I was fifteen lots of people liked me AND I didn’t have a favorite person. Sean? Sam? Danica S? I’m trying to remember. Alex? Stephanie? What show did we do that year? It was Charlie Brown. Mattress, Charlie Brown, Trial by Jury, Sound of Music, and Alice. Shauna? Alex? Danni? Jonathan? Jordan? Danica made those CDs for me. Gabi? Ellery? Irene? Keziah? There were so many people. And none was the favorite. Kaz? Therone? Felicia? Deja? Corri? Jae? Cassie? Leslie? Laureen? Katy? There were so many people around me and I wasn’t the favorite and no one was my favorite. I wasn’t even talking to Amanda at that point. And I did like her. There were a number of people I was attracted to, and, I didn’t make any moves, bc I didn’t get close enough to them in terms of conversations. I needed that first. Like to be comfortable? Lauren? Was she in focus? I can’t remember much if anything about her now, and I was so into her then. Kari?

I used to change with Kari.

Oliver and his male friends used to change in front of each other.

Kari was so great. We were always friends only. I don’t think either of us ever had feelings for the other. She was such an amazing friend. Caitlin? Anna or Sarah? Sarah F? Janell? This is the first time I’ve dug into the memories of those earlier high school years. It literally feels like a backhoe digging into dirt and clearing it away. Archeologist excavating.

I remember sitting in 204 watching some movie in the dark. Mrs. H was teaching. I don’t have memories. Of what we learned. I never learned in English. I never knew what the fuck was going on I just always got A’s. I wrote that paper about having a peanut allergy. It has terrible racist stereotypes. No one called me out. No teacher. I was fifteen. Today I would e known better. Unless I was a republican. Like I was then. I was very conservative. How was I conservative? It didn’t fit with any part of how I acted. Danielle? Remember that film I made that was literally just everyone swearing. Spencer? I remember so many things. Why did I write that.

I don’t want to remember many things.

Why not? That’s so fucking weird. There are many things I don’t want to remember? Where did that thought come from?

I don’t want to remember bc it hurts too much to remember? That thought just came to me.

I wasn’t hurting during that year. I wasn’t depressed. It was like that time with M in sophomore college. Wow. In that moment sophomore looked like high school sophomore to me. It felt like being in Maine. It felt like mid August two summers ago. It’s summer. It’s June. Two summers ago he sucked my sick for the first time and I couldn’t even get hard. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I forced myself to keep going bc I wanted it. That was my fuck up moment. He kissed me that night. It was like Amanda asking to marry me what the fuck to DATE me. How did that happen? It’s in retrospect I wish I’d said no

The hurt is that if I remember I’ll double remember how

The blue waffle thermal

I remember the car and snow pants but not skiing. I remember kissing and my precut glowing like a river. I got wet like a girl. I got hard like a boy. I don’t know what’s normal.

I remember the night she came to see me at the Estonian concert. “Let’s go over here. Lots of girls like me here.” She later told me that freaked her out not freaked out it was like “ullll” what are the words that describe what that means it’s like a little oh no and yikes at the same time. It’s like when O asked me what my main interest in the relationship was and I said sex. And he had the same reaction. And I said, how could I have ever said something like that. It’s callous. And, it was honest. And then I got attached. Before I was having fun. I was happy.

And when I’m happy and having fun I behave like a disgusting jock boy. Maybe that’s who I essentially am. Maybe I’m choosing to be trans so I can become a different person. I do want to become a different person. Even then I thought back like what the fuck was I doing. Like when I touched G and C’s breasts. And I wasn’t allowed to go to cast parties. I didn’t get to do wild things. Would I have?

I was so many different people. I’m also the person at Sam’s house who was afraid to be there.

Remember Caitlins white dreads. Remember when Safi first came to school or Kylie. Remember how cool and superior you felt. Remember how everyone was lesser in your eyes. Sophie. Edna. Kendra. Nikki. That girl molly sitting on my lap and I was hard as fuck. I didn’t think of that in so long. Was that ninth grade? Or eighth?

We were at Burgerville.

I was just doing whatever I wanted.

Is that who I am in a state of nature?

And, I’m the person who stayed in my room instead of going out for a birthday party.

What was Menucha like that year

I didn’t have many years with older friends after that.

Remember Laura. You were twelve and she was seventeen. But you never really talked after the show ended. Would she hug me? Did she hug me in sixth grade? Was I happy at the end of sixth grade???? I think she hugged me by the 201 door. I can remember it now.

I drew that picture of her.

I said “your eyes aren’t quite even.” Wow that must have hurt her and I could see it in her face.

I did whatever I wanted. I thought I was cool I was trying to be cool at all times.

That was my first summer in Eugene. Jessica Zach Ted. Dr. A. Joe. Nicholas. Brahms. Komm Jesu Komm. Standing on the steps in that rehearsal room. My feet sweaty and stinky as fuck. Black like sweat things coming off my toes. My roommate was Nick.

That moment in the hallway taking down my pants. “Should we go all the way?”

Jessica wanted to be closer than I did. I fall back on ppl when I’m lonely but don’t want closeness when I’m not. I use people. I do what O did to me. He didn’t really love me? Or did he?

I’m single now but I’m not having fun but I need to give it more time and I am being more wild. I started to get wild sophomore year. Sarah G. I thought things had changed. But I didn’t want them to change bc I wanted to be unhappy there??????????????

You’re really cool for a freshman. Others wouldn’t do that.

Well I’m basically a senior bc I’ve already been at my school four years.

High school was my college time in a way. It was my amazing time and I was studying and creating big projects. College was my high school time hating things and not self actualizing and not being myself.

Did I do it on purpose???????????? Is that kind of thing possible???????? I know I’ve thought that before. Can I be faking this all? This little voice says yes. What the fuck. I have to be honest about that little voice. I have to bring it up.

She isn’t going to set the agenda. If I want to keep going on the same subject, I have to push onwards into it. What memories are there to open up there? God this is going to take so long and I want to do other things and I know I want to have done this work of digging through elementary school and things.

Honor choir I was the only freshman and I sang alone and they all clapped and cheered for me. I pooped and made the room stink and I was too embarrassed to say. I didn’t have anyone to sit with. I couldn’t sit with people who seemed cool to me. The directors were like gods. The guys were from Montana. I was wearing my first set of boxer briefs. They said I wasn’t like a normal freshman. The performance meant almost nothing. I was sick to my stomach going. I was sick to my stomach going to Eugene. I was sick to my stomach for years before undergrad. J. K. was too. She told me that later on. We read that same book.

I wanted to prove myself. That other guy was shaving and we were all sharing the bathroom. He was shaving. I took my underwear off before getting in the shower. I wanted to show myself I could. I wanted to expose myself.

Why am I so obsessed with the idea of having been molested or raped now and not earlier in my life? How could that be possible? How could I not have remembered it sooner? Or thought of it? Not in undergrad at all. I must be making up that fear. I make up my whole life. All of life is imagined and made up and fake and shit. All of life is imagined period. How am I tired again and yawning. I was always yawning with the computer on my lap. They said the computer heat makes you infertile. Did I lose my chance of having a bigger dick bc I sat a computer on my lap? I loved having a laptop. And, I never looked at porn porn. I was so abnormal. Everyone else did.

Talking with Jacob about penis size. I didn’t think about size mattering. That Hannah who later must’ve fucked Matt P. He came down with shorts so short his dick was hanging out. It was so exciting to me, and horrifying, bc I liked her. I liked so many people. I like so many people simultaneously. I jump around. I can’t find my place. Maybe I don’t have a place. Singing was my place.

I really liked Cole. How much older is he than me? Less older than I am compared to O. I think. He went to India and then he came back and did what. Was he only 24 or 25? We all thought it was fucked up that he dated Eric L and he was a senior and Eric was a freshman. He came out later. I’m so fucked. W moved on to a whole different kind of life where she has adult friends with children and she and F will probably have a kid sooner than later. She already got pregnant once.

J and M (C) are growing up a lot. I see everyone else changing so much. I’m objectively changing with HRT and whatnot. And therapy. And I don’t feel like I’m changing. When change is slow you don’t feel it. Which of these people is really me? My developmental stages are so mixed up. As a kid I fit better with adults. Even my parents say that. Now I really like nineteen year olds and twenty year olds. And, I just saw H and M tonight and there was a big gap between me and H but I was quite into M. I wanted to look at their breasts and forced myself not to. I wonder if both of them noticed and they talked about it later. I wonder how much people notice the things I try to hide. Am I good at it? Am I better than I think? Which me is really me?

I want my breasts to stay small. So I don’t get judged. I’m very worried about being judged. I’m not a women and I don’t like being called a woman. I felt like a man and no longer a boy if that makes sense. But I can be called a girl. I’m getting very agitated thinking that I’m faking being trans. We all change our gender identities bc it’s the thing to do. Conservatives are right. We should be conservatives. The conservative position is easier to defend. They never have to prove themselves. Their beliefs are the old ones. Why should we change. Life is fine. My mom doesn’t want things to change. Or I’m projecting on her. I tho m I’m better than others and I project my bad things onto them so I don’t deal with them. Is that why I feel so free?

How fucked up am I. I wrote that paper about L dying in sophomore year. I’m more introspective and controlled when I’m in a relationship. With A and W and O. Not D. I had to lie about her attractiveness. But I loved her mind. Or I loved her being there for me when I needed someone.

S isn’t comfortable with me. We went to the beach tgt with her brother. I felt she brought her brother so we would t be alone tgt. She probably knows I have feelings for her. And have for over ten years. She’s honestly so pretty. She never replies when I message her on ig. She’s had so much sex and partied so much. Idk if her hair really came back after her eating disorder. She’s a professor. A real one. Not like fake ass me. I live at home. I’m Jim the gentleman caller. I just want to relive my moment of being cool. She wasn’t cool in high school. And, she had a group. And, she’s secure in herself now. Is she? I don’t know her. She doesn’t engage with me probably bc she knows I have feelings for her. If she had feelings for me she wouldn’t react in that way. She would want to talk to me. Or she’s holding me back bc I’m a nightmare pos.

My dads bloody eyeballs. Bloody eyeball in New York.

I had introspection awake at night on my computer. Maybe if I slept more I’d have a bigger dick. They called me pancake. I’m sad that W’s life is complete without me. As I thought earlier me like O so much must make her feel the same way. S watches all my stories but never messages me. She keeps her distance on purpose and has for years. I need to stop reacting to her posts and messaging her ever. She never ever ever reacts to me. I talked to her about O. That was one of our only conversations. In the past year I mean.

I have so much left to say I have to pee I always tried to hold my excretia in.

I used to put stuff in my butt. They took me to the doctor for it I think. And in my ear. Or was that S. I know I fingered myself when I was quite young. I’ve been obsessed with pooping since forever. Obsessed. Butts. Anal phase development. Freud. We both stuck stuff inside ourselves I think. Or was it only him that stick stuff inside his butt. I can’t remember for sure. I thought it was me.

My blue basketball tracksuit. Orange basketball. So excited. Getting up early and getting fully dressed by myself. So excited. Running to my parents. It was so early. They told me to go back to sleep. They were sleeping. I couldn’t sleep. I read something. It was so boring.

Everyone was asleep at the R house. I woke up early and first and I was so bored. I went to play that football video game. My mom got mad at me for playing that game too much. Did she get mad that morning? Tf was I supposed to do????? I was bored. Why did I get disciplined for such stupid shit. That’s a reason I didn’t respect my parents. This shouldn’t be a rule. Same as eating in the living room whole watching tv.

2:30 tomorrow.

Hold on hold onnnnnnnn the bathroom at OLL.

I make up narratives of being emotionally hurt.

So many fucking thoughts!!!!!!!!

Im making up a catholic school molestation story. Or am I.

That bathroom. That bathroom. Urinals without dividers. The tall skinny ones. Just like in the bathroom but 220. 220. Second floor, room 20. Playing football with Dominick and Kyle and one other boy. Kyle is dead now. Kyle C. Kathryn was friends with him. She posted about him. Angie. Leah senior year.

Your profile picture is you with another girl.

I changed it.

How excellent. Walking with Jessica on 4th of July. Dr. A gave a speech. We stepped forward for How excellent. Why was I involved? I don’t know. I wanted to be. They taught me the song. I sang alto I think. My voice was free. Did anything hurt? I don’t remember it did. I didn’t need Ricola. Or did I. My voice got sore junior year. Not sophomore year. I could sing big. I should’ve always gotten to sing big.

I’m going into a tunnel with my practicing. I need to work on something different.

I’m squeezing my neck like crazy.

The church at OLL.

SW from church really really wants me involved in her prayer organization. I am not a believer. It’s BS. That speaker was so BS.

I need to text W.

The church has blue carpet. “Jesus died on the cross, you can stand for twenty minutes.” My legs hurt so much. I remember lighting candles but that happened in California, not here. When Aunt K got remarried. I found out much later her husband drank himself to death. They got divorced before that happened. He would drink rubbing alcohol. Steven went too fast lighting the candles. I was so mad. Don’t you know what you’re doing. But I had to stay in character. My dad has to go up and relight them. I was humiliated. I danced with Baby Anna. She didn’t recognize me after that. She was so cute. I was 10? She was probably three or four. I was so disappointed when she didn’t know me after that. We swam in our shorts. I got such a bad sunburn. My skin was peeling at the Aunt P ranch. We were reading H P. I’m still scarred from that sunburn. Left shoulder. The soda thing. They had their own automatic soda. That was so cool. Everyone else lived in the real world. Not us. We lived in church world where I wore clothes I hated. And we took family photos I hated.

I’m just born evil nothing happened to me I’ve just always been evil and bad.

I looked in the mirror in the same bathroom mirror the same bathroom mirror where I shaved my unibrow when I was mocked I still do or was I even mocked I was just afraid of being mocked why do I have a unibrow why am I the weird one how can anyone love me when I’m so weird

But it’s not the same mirror bc that ugly cupboard got replaced and the door was so broken and I shared it with S and A. Sharing is such a nightmare. This house is pretty small for three kids and two adults it was at capacity. I wonder if that’s why we fought so much.

I didn’t work on the book today again.

The book.

Not my book.

Not even his book.

The book.

Where’s the ownership dumdum dumbass

But even if it’s not the same mirror it’s the same thought. I looked in the mirror and I believe I even said out loud just now

Crazy that I don’t remember

But if I said it out loud my parents would’ve heard

Why don’t I want my parents to know anything

Did they know when Z said he would kill me if he could or he stole all my friends

I was talking about how Lindsay Lohan was naked in parent trap. She must not have known I said. That excited me so much. Being naked. She was naked. It’s bad but it turns me on so much. It’s not appropriate but I’m so into it.

Even T said my obsession with sex is abnormal. But she agreed with me saying that. Maybe she was just pushing me to do more thinking. Idk if others are telling the truth for sure. My moral compass is off. I always want or need an external standard. This is right. This is wrong. I’m bad. I’m a sinner. If I just be myself I do terrible things. I say I’m just in it for the sex. I say all these girls here like me.

He said what did we used to listen to? Jonsi?

Adele too I said

It’s so fucking weird that we message at all.

It’s weird FOR ME that we message

God I’m so far off topic

Did he really forget what we listened to? Are our moments tgt not seared into his brain like laser and fire? I remember everything. I remember his letter. I remember meeting him by the chapel. I remember sitting on the bench outside the music department and we sat for so long and I was thinking this is weird I should leave but he just kept talking and then it was bc he liked me. I’m sure I still have that first letter in my box of heartbreak which is actually an oversized envelope. I remember seeing him from down the hall and feeling so happy. Am. I really gay? And that happiness was real. And maybe I was his gf and that’s why it didn’t feel gay

If I was abused how come I can have sex without being triggered

After a lifetime of being obsessed with sex how come it doesn’t feel good

I never lose myself in it

It just doesn’t feel that good. Masturbating feels better. Did I not have the right partner

I see little me in a dress

Instead I was in stupid fucking clothes I hated

I wore white socks at St. Luke’s with black pants. My mom told me dont. I didn’t want to listen. Then she was right. She was self satisfied afterwards. “yyyyyyyyyyEP.” Why tf were we even at St. Luke’s. S and A lived behind St. Luke’s. They were so cool. BC was there. I talked about having written an opera. He must’ve been like wtf. I saw him at undergrad at a concert. M said to me who was that guy you were talking to and said he was sexy or something. He was. I wasn’t into him though.

Oh my fucking god I’m so off topic AND I want to get this whole thought out.

S and A were so cool. I can talk to A bc I don’t have sexual interest in him. It was a long time before I knew he was trans. I was trying to put so much stuff together. They were both so fucking cool. S isn’t that cool now to me. And it’s hard for me to talk to her calmly. She had meds. I’m sure she has problems like I have. Maybe that’s why our relationship became weird. Weirdly close but not close and I was always yearning for more like I did with B. But I knew I couldn’t !!!!! That was so fucked up. My legs twitched. I wanted to be her.

Hating boy dress clothes. I always have.

Wanting to be an older woman.

But I’m totally cis.

What am I

I looked in the mirror now like I always did in high school and said I think out loud WHO ARE YOU in an emphatic tone of voice. My face and voice were serious. My eyes were wide. My mouth was set. WHO ARE YOU didn’t mean what’s wrong with you in this case.

Katy is commenting to me again it’s the most interaction we’ve had in years why am I not giving more energy back why am I being aloof maybe bc she out distance there and I’m trying to keep myself safe or I’m hurt or I’m just consumed with other things or I just don’t feel close to her. Her not talking to me hurt a lot. Stop distracting from topic!!!!!!!!!!! T hurt a lot. Then T sent that heart emoji to my post today after “stay well”

Alright

Idk what that means and W sees it so simply and straightforward and I just don’t.

That’s not who she was

I’m obsessed with WAS

WHO ARE YOU meant which of these many different versions of yourself that you experience and present is the real one? How can there be so many?????

I did outpatient at the hospital near sams house and Sam dated Irene and Irene announced her engagement today and both of Irenes parents are dead and we haven’t spoken in decades but were still connected online.

I wish I was walking in snow like when I was hurting over D and I walked so far and my mom called me like what the fuck you’re going to get attacked and I said I used to walk the streets of New York much later than this

Sam dated K and he was never the same after that. I was there with Gabi and Kari and we made deep fried lovin and it was amazing and we loved it and Sam and I could never recapture that although we tried a few times. He always said “what do you want to do” and I didn’t know and neither of us had an idea. I went to so many weird ass coffee meets and hangouts in those first few years after high school. A had a pool party or something. When was the slip n slide party. We had all those AGT parties and tried to recreate or simply create the social life and friends over we should’ve had in high school and I believe my mom was extremely happy bc that’s what she had always wanted, to be the party house, like all the kids coming to play at her house when she was a kid. But how could anyone like coming here with the way she acted. We actually were a party house in elementary school. There’s that day when we all played in the rain and I was wearing red sweatpants. There’s the picture where I wanted the attention and I stood in front of the whole group sideways catching snowflakes on my tongue. We played smear the queer in the frosty grass. The athletic boys were the coolest. K’s older brother Dylan was called superstar on the soccer field. We played so many games at OLL. Do you remember tether ball. Words look weird rn what are letters even. Wall ball and black magic and double black magic and triple black magic and quadruple black magic and four square and kickball and soccer and basketball god we were so competitive it was amazing and so fun

Kickball on the asphalt we always had scraped knees who approved that who let us play like that. Brandon fell and left his teeth in the asphalt or at least that was my image of it. Zero the Hero. One hundreds day. Turbo math. Writing books. Everyone else knew things I didn’t. Star Wars. Everyone knew things I didn’t.

We couldn’t be the party house in middle school. She wasn’t safe. I wanted to die. I deserved to die bc I was so disobedient.

Who was I? The no friends middle school. Won’t let myself poop disgusting fart everyone smelled it too scared to pee off the stairs I had to get approval to go to the outhouse too scared to spray the wasp nest taking down the pole and failing and smashing my hand and it had that big scab and I washed it with hand sanitizer bf that was all I had and maybe that’s what caused my blood clot but it happened so many weeks later how did it happen so much later. I was so into J in college junior year and then she told me the story about fucking that other guy when they were drunk. She even Skyped me. She loved that one guy and then he picked someone else and it ruined everything and I was always starving and eating my cereal too fast but I didn’t want to spend money buying more I only went to Cub like once we rode the bus and took so many pictures and I looked so happy in that moment. And R was there. Before he assaulted me. I didn’t want to touch his dick the memory of touching his dick is literally making me shake rn I need to stop it was so hard and small he was everywhere on campus he did whatever he wanted he was loud everyone loved him stop thinking about him!!!!!!!!!!!

My neck and arms are so tense rn what is wrong with me why did I have so many social problems putting my backpack in those cubbies when we went to eat I was so scared it would be stolen I took it with me I was the only one it was so stupid I was such an envarrassing person I’ve been so controlled in my life by embarrassment only the Asian kids ran they didn’t care what anyone thought of them we laughed at them that was so typical mocking any difference. I read the books of school history trying to understand the values and I finally did I didn’t fit in!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have R and E and C.

The protests are dying down. We’re at the limit of change. It’ll take another death to rile this back up. That’s disgusting but I think it’s true. Things were done in Portland at about 9:30.

I feel sick. I feel legitimately sick.

I feel so sick and my ears are ringing great!!!!!!!!!!! And I saw T and her boyfriend and thought about how I want sex and I’m not fuckable. Which maybe I am. Maybe that’s my essential self. Unfuckable and insecure and anxious and scared of being different and scared of being judged and bc of this always already different and trying to be different so I stand out as a star but not wanting to stand out at the same time. Do I even like singing or like music or do I just want to be famous. I have been so confident that I would be famous. I’m so confident in my ideas. I’m so smart. No one can be more right than me. My co fife to self is despicable.

Maybe I loved being fifteen and being with M and being at A M F and two summers ago with O bc I wasn’t this disgusting insecure person but everyone liked me. I’ve been thinking that that person is my essential self. But maybe the whole thing is that thats NOT ME AT ALL. I’m not meant to be a star or be anyone I’m meant to be a worm and disappear and be nowhere and that’s why I do t have groups and that’s why no one liked me at undergrad and at the same time didn’t I keep myself out of groups on purpose so I would keep honoring high school? Like we keep honoring Leah. Just like I keep holding onto the pain of O to honor the relationship that we had and prove my real love for him. He’s moved on more than I could ever imagine moving on except that’s not true in the sense that I don’t know anything but I must be ABSOLUTELY clear with myself when I say that the reason it’s not true is because whatever I say is an assumption and I’m working on not making assumptions about other people at this point in my life bc I need to act on what people say bc I’m not at all a mind reader. And, I hope that he is thinking of me. But I’m playing with myself. He’s fine if he was here then he would be here. He might be in another state he might be in a whole other relationship.

Don’t fake yourself out. He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s moved on.

He had at least one other relationship.

He might not be single now.

He’s moved on.

He’s not coming back.

I need to finish this. I avoid the real point. Why does my brain do that. And I want to write down every thought. Why so many digressions

Okay then

I’m typing with my eyes closed sometimes which is something I used to do in high school while I was typing late into the night exactly like I am right now. S always lay facedown on his bed which I thought was fucking weird bc I only lay facedown to masturbate.

He did that in the day time

I kissed so many objects after reading the Star Wars novelization

We played Nanosaur at catholic school and public school.

The computers were in the portable

I never got to play as much as I wanted to

The computers were in the library and I played type to learn. I was watching Star Trek tng with my dad on a summer night and it enthralled me I couldn’t tell when special effects were bad at that age. We had to leave I had indoor soccer with Kirill’s dad and he was a star in the Soviet Union he said but who knows and I went to his house one time to play video games and it was a small apartment and I was so surprised. The preps took him in instantly but why not me WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME WHY IS MY GRIUP THE PPL WHO ARE WEIRD SS FUCK

We funked in the halls people laughed at how I didn’t know how to move myself or in anyway be in my body and I couldn’t let go why couldn’t I let go people who let go looked so cool Sam was our mascot at that high school duhduhduh day I didn’t know what tf I was doing there why was I in ASB it just seemed like the thing to do we tied I was relieved when I lost I missed the midnight going into the secret places in the school thing fuck my life I missed so many things I wanted

GOD DAMN JT

There were younger boys who went to pee in our one and only bathroom and they took their pants all the way down to their ankles and the older boys came in and made fun of them while they were still right there and I heard it and made sure not to be like the kindergarten boys so I wouldn’t be made fun of. I think I peed like that before that day. It didn’t matter??? Smooth white butts. There was one brown person in the class named Tharik. Maybe not but we were so white.

Is there anything else to remember about that moment?

Sinks where you pushed the bar at the feet to turn on the water

I’ve been to so many airport sinks and the urinals have no dividers

I always prayed no one else would be in the bathroom why was I so scared to pee beside someone I would be seen why didn’t I want to be seen? Other times I was dying to be seen. How did my desires change so much

Why was I obsessed with sex. I had fantasies of Hoth of magic school bus I was naked in so many. I didn’t want the doctor to examine my penis. I said can my mom do it instead and tell you. No he said but she can sit in the room. Okay he said. I was so scared. Why was I so scared. Why didn’t I handle it normally. Why I’m gods name would I want my mom to see my dick. What the fuck was wrong with me.

Is there ever a time I look back on myself and think wow that was a good decision I’m proud of that. No! I have happy moments like being the only freshman in honor choir or playing the zither or whatever it’s called with A

Am I more evolved than I was then

I choose not to act or do anything bc at least that way I can’t make any mistakes and not acting is also a mistake I can’t bear to do what I did in the past and then somehow I do it before I realize I’m doing it

Why was I obsessed with sex

I read about luke and Leia kissing in that movelization and I kissed so many things around the house trying to capture the description from the boom of how her lips felt. There were choose your own adventure books and i always imagined myself in them and unmade so many self insert fantasies where all the characters were still there. the boys were my friends and the girls were my lovers. I think OLL was where I read junior Jedi knights. We used to go to the library so much the old one and I read through so much Star Wars and Star Trek science fiction. I was never attracted to the boys. I never judged the stories I just enjoyed the imagination. And I read Ancient Greek mhths. I’m a fucking nerd and nothing nobody who got thrust into the center stage and suddenly I had some popularity and then I had that personality push and pull. Always being criticized. A criticized me and W criticized me after my recital like right after and A took down the program in Eugene and Ö tore me apart so many times including after the MC. Anneke was so fucking attractive.

God

I never should have had attention. I liked so much stupid nerd stuff. But I was cool in elementary school. I feel like wherever I am I try to make the stuff I like cool and bring people to me. I can’t fit into them. Music is a great way to do that bc everyone loves music.

I have always had false ideas of who I am but when I’m depressed I can be realistic. That’s why it’s good for me to be depressed. I’m a sinner and no good and deserve it. I deserve to feel bad. It’s penance. I deserve it.

That’s not what I should feel and that’s not what my brain feels but I write down stuff like that bc that’s what my heart is saying. Those could even be in quotes. That’s being said by a different me inside me if that makes any sense.

I’m so privileged. What do people think when they see me. Do I not have more followers and more story views bc I’m a fucking loser and that’s what people see? But I liked myself. I liked what I saw. I liked it. But it wasn’t or isn’t good enough for other people. My opinions grate. My opinions drive people away. Why do I always have such strong opinions.

I never do anything part way

I started masurbating so early. How did I find it

Don’t message back fast. They’re very inconsistent. You’re hoping for much more than they will ever give. You give what you look to receive. You don’t give what people deserve. You don’t give based on the real quality of your relationship but by what you want it to be or you give without regard for yourself and only regard for pleasing the other. A. W. O. D.

No boundaries. Too many boundaries. Inappropriate feelings. I do so much to avoid inappropriate feelings.

What’s inappropriate

Wrong

You should have sexual feelings for that person

You shouldn’t like people that much older or that much younger. I never knew him when he wasn’t an adult I stg

I can’t remember any sexual feelings at all in third grade. I remember so many times when I thought wby dont I like anyone. I remember like forcing myself to like K in fifth grade. I end up dating or whatever people I’m not attracted to. I see someone in them that isn’t the real them and then I expect them to act like that person

I guess I tried to change O. I’m the bad one

Idk if that’s true that I tried to change him.

But I definitely might say x is a good decision in my opinion. Stuff like that.

Am I asexual? The question doesn’t stop coming back to me.

Can I remember anything. I don’t fucking know.

I played with my penis from a time when I was very young.

W feels natural for me but wrong. That’s not who I am.

K doesn’t feel natural these days most of the time and idk why. Is she just a costume :( I don’t want her to be but maybe she is. I have to face all my inner voices. Avoiding them has hurt me a lot.

I don’t see people for who they are. For who they are inside I see them. Nope. That’s my projection. Who I think they could be which is another way of saying who I want them to be. Stupid stupid stupid.

Zuko

Rubbing my dick on my bed felt good. Rubbing it on blankets felt better. Pulling down my pants and then pulling down my underwear. Better and better and better. I didn’t think to masturbate with my hand for years. I went through so much shampoo. I came in so many showers. Once I was scared I would get my sister pregnant bc I came in the tub. I came in my grandparents’ bathrooms. Both of them. My dads dad doesn’t hardly seem like part of the family.

Why don’t i remember more?

Because there’s nothing else to remember.

Each experience is a different me. How will I ever know who the me me is. So many different selves. So many masks. A different person around every single person. Only O and D knew the full me. Not A or W. They were my sex friends and we were in a relationship. Sex was what I wanted. I turned into their emotional support doll. They didn’t support me. I don’t tell W things. She isn’t on my sinsta. I haven’t told her about it. She would be hurt that I didn’t. And that I wouldn’t add her. Don’t give people things they can’t handle. She doesn’t use my girl name. I wonder if O knows I changed my name online. It doesn’t matter. He’s not part of it.

She doesn’t understand a lot. A doesn’t understand a lot. There are these lines right. They’re not like me. But we have sex. Sex is so important to me bc they’re sex friends. But then I get sucked in emotionally. Same with O. We were sex friends that got emotional.

I never had sex that satisfied me.

There’s a gap of why sex why me. Etc. Why secret. I’ve always been a secret whore like lots of white girls.

I’m obsessed with symmetry too. I’m not normal. I hate seeing S’s name in my text suggestions or whatever they’re called. predictive text.

I’ve always been obsessed with symmetry. Idk where that came from. I can’t stand asymmetry in my body which ofc we all have bc nothing is perfect in nature in a mathematical sense.

Left right right left

Up left down right down left up right

I do that pattern constantly. Teeth tongue mouth eyes feet

I’ve done that since forever. Why

Idk

Nothing comes from nothing but that doesn’t mean it came from severe sexual trauma either

I’m trying to find trauma just find sexual thoughts in the past instead

Like my dad giving me that one shirt sex talk and how uncomfortable it was and how I thought about balls or how sex was always trash and we had to go to bed when our parents were watching a movie did they ever make out there was no physicality in their relationship ever. She has her couch my dad has his chair

I don’t want to be physical with them I do with everyone else maybe I’m the abuser maybe I was born that way I kissed everyone they didn’t want it maybe Mrs. H was right to punish me that way. I feel like my sexual interest started before kindergarten

Masturbatimg has always been fantasy time. Sometimes memory time. Sometimes creating fantasy memories. Sometimes living out things I read. Erotica really is the superior porn

I masturbated like crazy, and, I didn’t know any sexual terms. Bisexual is when the woman is older than the man LMAO

I think already in first grade or so I didn’t tell my parents about school. I didn’t want to. Everyone knew who we were. Big ass silver van. We always were the last to leave anything. Always talking like crazy. Public was our only freedom even though it was our fake selves. I kicked the rock into Mrs. G’s ankle. My mom shouted at me. We were just playing. AND I know that I knew I was being risky. We ran laps around the school. It was always hard for me. Running. I always hated it. I couldn’t push myself. That Mikaela or Michaela or however she spelled her name was ahead of me on the sidewalk. She was faster than me. We ran laps under the covered area. That was where we were allowed to play during rain time. I told Jesse she was dat and she said that’s a black mark on my soul and a sin. H E L L H E double L H E double hockey sticks

I peed my pants and somehow Mrs. H knew

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emma-nation · 5 years ago

Text

Thinking Of You (Mona x MC Fanfiction) - Chapter 9 // July Challenge Day #12 (Revelation)

You said move on Where do I go? I guess second best Is all I will know

Summary: Years later, Allison has everything she wants, a brand-new internship as a doctor, a handsome boyfriend… but her first nightshift won’t go as expected…

Genre: Romance, Angst

Tag list: @zoe6111, @simsvetements, @mvrinettes, @whoinvitedalx, @scarlet-letter-a0114, @abunchofbadchoices, @kamilahmademedoit, @janurary, @talkinlikeateen, @eagle-one-1, @andreear17, @tia-bi, @monagf, @monahott, @fal-carrington, @crazzyplays, @honorablebicycle, @teja-desai, @iam-the-fuckin-queen (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

Notes:

- English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

- As I couldn’t write an entry for @choicesjulychallenge today, I’ll be using this chapter for the theme (Revelation).

- This chapter contains some NSFW content.

“You bribed my daughter, who has been recently operated, to play the bait for a serial killer on the loose. Are you out of your mind?! You are no different from that Kaneko man!”

The discussion and yelling in the living room had been going on for hours. Mona’s mother, Sara, was extremely furious at Detective Wheeler, not letting him speak a single word. For a moment, Mona even felt sorry for him.

“I told you,” Mona said. “You don’t wanna push her buttons. She will keep yelling at him for days.”

“Wow,” Allison commented. “Now I know where you’ve got your temper from.”

“No, actually I’m more like…”

Mona looked down at the message on her cellphone. Her father sent her a picture of her at college, in the basketball game, telling how proud he was. She knew he was only being sarcastic.

“You’re not like him, Mona. From what you’ve told me he’s selfish, arrogant, puts his own well-being above anything.”

“And how I’m different from that?”

“You took a bullet for me, and now you’re in this investigation because you didn’t want me to do this alone.”

“Maybe I was only trying to spend more time with you.”

Allison looked at her in silence for a brief moment, her eyes staring at her mouth in an inviting manner. Since their false kiss in Brian’s room, moments like that were getting more and more frequent.

“Whenever you want, babe.”

“I want it right now,” she prevented Mona from going forward, “but… Griffin.”

Mona rolled her eyes. It was like that douchebag had been purposely ghosting Allison to prevent her from dumping him.

The door opened in a slam, interrupting the moment.

“And you,” Mona’s mother shouted at her. “I thought you had finally learned your lesson, but no. You’ve got yourself in trouble again, for another woman!”

“…” she still tried to argue, but her mother interrupted her.

“No. Don’t even try to justify yourself.”

She entered the room, impatient, examining Allison head to toes, as if she was scanning for a threat. After she finished, she took a deep breath to recompose herself.

“You two, in my hotel room tonight. 8 o’ clock. Don’t be late.”

———-

Allison had only going through the experience of meeting in-laws only once, with Griffin’s parents, in a fancy dinner to celebrate their anniversary. Meeting Mona’s mother was twice as scary, knowing she held an enormous grudge against her.

8 o’ clock they met her in a hotel room. She was sitting behind a laptop, ready to give them instructions. For decades, she had been working with technology and programming. One of her latest jobs was for the security company, who works for the University they were attending. According to Mona, until now absolutely no one, could pass her security protocols, even to hack grades or the surveillance cameras.

“I’m not being able to retrieve the data without direct access to the University’s network,” she explained. “I’ll need you to go to the library, plug this flash drive in one of the computers and install the programming.”

“Piece of cake for your smartass daughter,” Mona bragged. “Let’s go, Allison.”

“It’s not only that. You’ll have to wait until I’m able to decrypt the footage. When I call you, you clean the computer and come back here.”

“Understood.”

“Do you promise to be careful?” Sara got up from her chair, tucking a strand of her daughter’s hair behind her ear. “If you see anybody or anything suspicious, stop immediately and run.”

“Mom,” Mona assured her. “Nothing is happening to me this time. I promise.”

Allison smiled softly, noticing how respectful and sweet Mona was for her mom. She wouldn’t let anybody else command her or yell at her like that, but with that woman she was an entirely different person.

“Meanwhile we can attend the party,” Allison suggested. “My dad said it could be a good opportunity to find more suspects.”

Mona’s mother expression changed and she looked at her in an intimidating manner again.

“Look Allison,” she sighed. “I have absolutely nothing against you, as we just met. But like your father, I’d rather you to keep a distance from my daughter. In case you have forgotten, she almost died because of you.”

“M-Mom…” Mona tried to argue, but Allison interrupted her. “I’ve already told you…”

“I could never forget what she did for me. And while we both agree it was a little stupid, it also shows how brave and selfless she is.”

“Brave?!” The woman let out a small laugh. “I’ll tell you something, everytime my daughter gets brave because of a girl, it never ends well.”

“I’m completely different from her ex, that I can assure you.”

“How exactly? Where were you for all these years she spent in jail? Did you know she was always mourning your absence?”

“I told her to not go visit me, or even write me,” Mona protested. “I wanted her to follow with her life and she did. No hard feelings.”

Allison inhaled deeply. She felt extremely guilty for never visiting Mona, despite her request. Letters, she had written a thousand, that she never sent, wondering how she’d react. She never wanted to cause Mona more pain, but it didn’t mean she stopped loving her or that she had abandoned her completely. With teary eyes and a confident voice, she finally confessed a secret no one ever knew.

“Wrong. You’re wrong… If Mona is here tonight it’s because of me. Because I could never forget or abandon her. I promised I’d get her out of jail and I did, I paid for her lawyer.”

There was a complete and awkward silence in the room. Mona was paralyzed, she opened her mouth several times but no words would come out.

“Y-You did… what? H-How?”

“Dr. Williams was giving this lecture in Langston, and as I learned she was one of the best lawyers in the country I went after her. She had never lost a single cause. The price I had to pay was extremely high, of course, but nothing that selling my car couldn’t do.”

No more words were pronounced. Mona seemed a little bit surprised and disturbed. The drive to the university was completely quiet. It was only when they arrived at the library that Allison finally asked.

“M-Mona, you’re not mad at me, right? For paying for your lawyer? I asked Dr. Williams secrecy because I didn’t know how you’d react but… I’ve never felt so happy in my life like when she told me they had reduced your penalty in a great deal.”

Mona stopped what she was doing at the computer to look at her.

“That was the hell of a good car. It was really stupid of you to sell it, because of me,” she told. “But how am I supposed to be mad? If it wasn’t for you, I would…” her mouth opened in a huge grin. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

At the desk, their hands met again.

“You’re worth every penny. I would never give up on you.”

“When I’m allowed to, I’m gonna kiss you so much you’ll wish to lock me up again.”

“I could never!” Allison punched her shoulder slightly.

“You’ll see,” a notification indicated the computer job was done. “So, party?”

———–

They were leaving the library holding hands. Mona was so happy nothing could ruin her mood, not even Krista, who was sitting at a near desk focused.

“Look at her, isn’t her perfect?” Mona commented. “Way too perfect?”

“What?” Allison furrowed her brows. “Do you think she could be a suspect?”

“It won’t hurt to take a look.”

Hidden behind a shelf of books, they waited until Krista left for a moment. Mona rushed to her desk, taking a hurried look at her papers. As expected, all she could find was Krista’s homework and a schedule with her Bible studies.

“You were right after all,” she told Allison. “Our girl is clean.”

Yet, something caught her eye as they were leaving. A keychain hanging out of her purse. Her brand-new car had been acquired at her father’s dealership.

The party was crowded and loud. A hurricane of teenagers getting drunk and wild in many manners. Spotting them as they arrived, Brian waved and smiled, coming in their direction.

“Hello Brian,” Allison greeted.

“Have you seen anything weird these days?” Mona asked.

“Except for two dudes from the team joining Kista studies?” He told. “Not at all. It seems whoever is selling the stuff is laying low for a while.”

“I see. Remember our deal.”

“Always.”

He returned to his drinking game with a group of friends.

Mona’s high expectations for that night were quickly frustrated, when Dr. Allison Wheeler told she couldn’t, under any circumstances, to play beer pong or do a keg stand yet, because of her recent surgery.

“That’s okay, I guess I can keep living without a full-experience of college. How else are we supposed to have fun then?”

“Let’s dance,” Allison took her by the hand to the dance floor. “Still get the moves?”

“You can bet on it, gorgeous.”

Mona started dancing around her in a seductive, inviting manner. Allison responded by doing a sexy set of moves herself, pressing her back on Mona’s body and leaving their faces only one breath away.

The song changed to an old pop song. Allison’s expression suddenly changed. She became sad and distant.

“What’s wrong?” Mona asked, placing her hands on her waist and bringing her closer. “Missing Irwin?”

“It’s nothing,” Allison wrapped her arms around her neck. “It’s just…” she looked down, blushing a little bit, “this song used to make me sad. It reminded me of you.”

Mona closed her eyes, paying attention to the song’s lyrics. She had listened to it probably a thousand times before, but it never meant anything so far. As their bodies slowly moved together, she inhaled Allison’s sweet and hypnotizing fragrance. It was becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to kiss her.

“Well, you’re getting your ’another life’. It’s up to you to take it or leave it.”

“I’m not letting you get away, not again.”

Mona brushed her lips on Allison’s, requesting her permission to go further. But before she could move forward, her cell phone started ringing.

“My mom,” she announced. “She has gotten the footage. We have to go.”

———-

Allison sat tense on an armchair, waiting for Mona’s mother to play the footage on a screen. She glanced at Mona, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, so expectant as she was.

“The Leon guy is innocent,” her mother told, pressing the ’play’ button. “Here we have our suspect. The one who cleaned the basketball player’s room.”

“Krista?!” Mona shouted, looking at the screen. “I knew it! I told you, Allison. Too perfect to be true.”

“But… she’s only the tip of the iceberg,” Allison said. “Somebody big and powerful is commanding her.”

Mona fell pensive, before letting out of laugh.

“Of course. David is behind her! He’s her godfather. It explains his move to Los Angeles and his sudden obsession with me. He expected me to be his dealer.”

“Wait,” Sara interrupted. “You think your father is developing synthetic drugs? Honey, at this point I thought you knew him better. David is a dumb coward.”

“But her car came from his dealership!”

“I hate to do this but…"

Minutes later, Mona’s father, David, also joined them in that small hotel room. Allison had never been in such an awkward situation before. There was clearly a tension in the air between the three of them. Recently, Allison learned that Mona’s parents were quite young when she was born. When she was only two, her father abandoned them for his current wife.

"A family gathering. How lovely,” Mona mocked. “Allison, call your father. Something tells me his handcuffs will be needed here.”

She gave her father a threatening look.

“What? You think I’m behind this girl?!” He protested. “I’ve never seen her in my life before.”

“She has the same car as you. It came from your dealership and gifted to her by a godfather.”

“Wait, now you mentioned it, I think I remember…”

He searched his phone for the most recent sales of that specific model of car.

“A little over two months ago, this man came to my dealership. He bought not one, but three, of this same car model. He paid for them immediately, in cash. I thought it was shady, illegal maybe, but…”

“You needed to make money,” Sara finished.

“Exactly,” David cleared his throat and passed her his phone, while she did a background search on her laptop.

“Got it. Indeed, he’s Krista’s godfather. There are plenty of pictures of them together on the internet.”

She transmitted the laptop image to the larger screen. Allison’s eyes went wide, as she couldn’t believe what her eyes were seeing.

“Dr. Carlson?!” She covered her mouth in shock.

“Correct, Emmett Carlson. Powerful and influent doctor. A perfect mind to be behind the drug’s creation. Do you know him?”

Now everything made sense. Of course she had seen Krista before, in one of the big parties the Carlsons threw.

“I heard him on the phone with a guy in the hospital’s parking lot the other day,” Mona told. “I thought the conversation was creepy but I had no idea.”

“Now I’ve been declared innocent, can I leave?”

Mona rolled her eyes at David. Then, she approached Allison by the window. Placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay? I mean, it must be hard for you to know…”

Allison hugged her and started sobbing.

“The main component of the drug is obtained from a plant, found only in Africa. You know what that means right?”

Allison nodded, without being able to answer. Griffin was involved in the scheme, of course. It explained his trip and his recent behavior.

“I’ll be alright,” she took a deep breath. “I just need to get out of here and clean my head for a while.”

———

“Allison,” Mona told. “I know how you must be feeling but… this isn’t a good idea at all.”

“I don’t care,” she accelerated Mona’s car at the empty and dark road, as much as she could. “I do it all the time when I need to relax.”

Mona started questioning what was making her more nervous, if it was the fear of getting caught by the police or the fear Allison could damage her car.

In a sudden and dangerous move, they were out of the road and Allison started drifting around the sand. At least now Mona was sure of the improvements her father had done in her car.

They stopped. Allison was panting in stress and adrenaline. She looked determined to start drifting again.

“Stop,” Mona placed her hand on the wheel. “You’re gonna get us both killed and we need to hand your father this flash drive with the evidence we got. We’re doing this, right?”

“How can you even ask this?” Allison shouted. “What do you think I am? That I’m involved too?”

“Of course not, but… this will be the end of your engagement with Griffin.”

In a blink of an eye, Allison moved unexpectedly and straddled Mona on the passenger seat.

“My engagement with Griffin ended when you walked through that hospital’s door,” she wrapped her arms around Mona’s neck and stared deeply into her eyes, making her heart race inside her chest. “Don’t you understand? I never belonged to him. My body could be his, but my heart and soul were always yours!”

Her eyes locked with Mona’s burning in pure desire.

“I was only with him because I couldn’t be with you.”

Mona grabbed her left hand, looking at the big diamond on her finger.

“Can I do the honors?” Mona asked.

“As you wish,” Allison shrugged.

Mona slipped the ring out of her finger, throwing it by the window in the middle of the desert.

“Good riddance.”

Her mouth met Allison’s in a hungry and desperate kiss, while her hands explored the rest of her body, wanting to feel every inch of her. Allison’s mouth lowered to her neck, placing small kisses and biting softly.

“You still remember how I like it.”

“How could I forget?”

Allison took off her shirt, letting Mona kiss the way down to her chest. Her hands traveled from her lower back to the waistband of her skirt and then to her inner tights.

“Should I take it slow or…?” Mona grinned.

“No,” Allison kissed her again, nibbling on her lower lip. “Give me all you’ve got.”

“Remember, you asked for it.”

Wasting no more time, Mona’s hands found their way to where Allison wanted her the most. As she massaged the most sensitive area of her body, she moved her hips to meet the rhythm. Her mouth wouldn’t leave Mona’s not even for a second.

“You have…” Allison moaned between pants, as she arched her back in pleasure, “no idea… how much I wanted this.”

“Really?” Mona teased, whispering in her ear. “So that means you’d still think of me, once in a while, when you…”

“Everytime. Even when I was with Griffin. Sometimes I’d close my eyes and pretend it was you I was having sex with.”

“Okay, you’re driving me really crazy here, but we’re kinda cramped. Let’s move to the backseat.”

As they moved, Allison quickly advanced, pinning Mona on the backseat, where she started taking off her clothes. She started placing kisses everywhere she undressed. When there was only Mona’s underwear left, she stopped.

“What are you waiting for?” She complained. “I wanted it as much as you did.”

“Sorry, I hadn’t seen it in a while. I appreciating the view, you know?”

Allison laughed, lowering her head between Mona’s legs. She moved her tongue teasingly, reducing the pace to prolong the sensation.

“Am I doing this right?” She continued to provoke.

“Allison… just do it…”

“What’s the word?”

“Please!”

She lowered her head again, moving more intensely now, until Mona collapsed in ecstasy.

“Are you exhausted yet?” Allison wanted to know.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve waited eight years for this day. No way I’m stopping this soon!”

———-

When Allison woke up in the morning, she was still undressed, lying in Mona’s arms, in the middle of nowhere. Her phone had dozens of missed calls from her dad.

“Oh shit,” she looked at herself in the rear view mirror, checking the small purple bruises on her neck. “He’s going to kill me.”

She woke Mona up with a kiss and told her they needed to go.

“Come on,” she pulled Allison back to her arms. “Only a little bit longer. It’s just that… it feels unreal, like the last time.”

“It’s different now, there’s no Brotherhood standing in our way. We’ll have plenty of time to do this.”

“Straight to the precinct?” Mona asked, after getting dressed and taking control of her car.

“Actually, let’s go home first,” Allison suggested. “We’ll have a long day ahead and I’d like to shower first, grab something to eat.”

“Sure.”

A while later they were back to Allison’s place. A familiar car was parked in front of the house.

“Is that your dad’s?”

“I don’t think so.”

Allison swallowed hard. The front door was unlocked and as she opened it, two figures were standing in the living room.

“Dr. Carlson, Griffin. What are you both doing here?”

#ride or die #mona #mona rod #mona x mc #choices july challenge #playchoices #choices stories you play #ride or die fanfiction

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kyvir · 6 years ago

Note

"Fix the printer" You know what to do tyy ;) It's a challenge. HAHAHA (Any ship you want)

Dev! Thanks for the request/ challenge. Innocent prompt turned smutty… I hope you like it! (A little future To Walk Alongside You BoruSara)

Hot Headed

Pairing: BoruSara

Rating: M

NSFW

Sarada had been in a bitchy mood all day. It wasn’t like her… most of the time. Not to this extent. Something had her pissed and she was taking it out on me, nagging about the most ridiculous things, complaining about everything to the point I worried about her fussing about the air she breathed next. She was so angry that I could only let her blow off the steam built up inside her. I kept calm, didn’t say shit. Did what she told me to do, ignored her every time her complaining felt directed at me. But I was getting closer and closer to snapping.

She’d already had me doing chores all day, ordering me around like I was her fucking servant. Since I didn’t know what was eating at her, I did what I could to try and make her happy… but it seemed like the more I did, the angrier she became. I didn’t have anything to do today, so I’d planned for the two of us to spend some time together. I did want to wash my car, but that was about all that had been on my agenda.

No, that had turned into doing laundry and cleaning out the closet. Going through my older clothes to get rid of them and an extensive cleaning of the bathroom. She freaked about the lawn needing to be mowed after she’d had me busy for hours and I’d even done that. It had to be enough. She had to be happy now.

I went inside, hating how hot and sweaty I was. The only other thing I was going to do was take a shower. Thankfully I didn’t run into Sarada again on my way to our room and into the bathroom. I was only in a pair of shorts so I was able to undress quickly before stepping into the shower. It pissed me off that all I could think about was what had Sarada so upset. She never got like this, acting so obnoxious… what was wrong with my sweet little dove.

“Borutoooo!” She yelled from a distance and I scoffed, turning the water off and opening the shower door to grab my towel.

Sweet little dove my ass. Not today.

After quickly drying myself off, I wrapped the towel around my waist and left the bathroom. I stopped by the dresser and reached for the top drawer, only getting it slightly open before she went off again.

“Boruto! Get in here!”

I slammed the drawer shut and groaned. I couldn’t deal with her attitude anymore today. I was officially done.

Sarada was in the spare bedroom, where she kept all of her books and her computer– shit I didn’t have any interest in. Her head turned, brows narrowed and eyes cold as they had been the entire day. She was still angry, but I didn’t miss the way her face turned red at the sight of me. The computer was on the floor, the printer next to it. The desk that was meant to hold them now empty. What was with her today, fucking around with stuff that she needed to leave alone.

“What the hell are you doing now?” I rolled my eyes and moved my hand to my wet hair, pushing my bangs back off of my forehead.

Her teeth clenched as well as her fists and her whole body tensed. She was actually growling at me. “You were supposed to be helping me! And you… you’re just… you just decide to take a nice hot shower, huh?”

“Actually, it was a nice cold shower because I was hot as fuck after doing the yard work.” I snapped back. I wasn’t bowing down anymore. She could kiss my ass.

“Well, it’s your fault for waiting until the hottest part of the day.” She spat.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is but you need to chill the fuck out. Maybe you need a nice hot shower.” I told her, trying to keep my cool, but I’d slowly been losing it all day.

“No, I need you to help me! There’s too much to do.”

Why did we suddenly need to do so much shit today?

“What do you need now, I was trying to get dressed Sarada.” I groaned and palmed my face. She was being impossibly difficult today.

“Fix the printer!” She demanded and that was the last straw. That was the last time she demanded me today. I was done taking her shit.

Closing the distance between us in one long stride, I pushed her down onto the desk and glared down at her. “How about I fix your ass instead?”

“Boruto!” Sarada squealed, face even more red now than I was hovering over her so closely. Her hands were at my chest, weakly pushing at me as if I was going to back off.

“Don’t you Boruto me. You’ve been on my ass all day… but now it’s my turn.”

“W-what?!” Her eyes went wide as I snatched my towel off before pushing the hem of her short dress up and eyeing the black lace panties she wore.

“Just hush.” I ordered, moving my eyes back to hers briefly in warning before I hurriedly removed her panties.

Sarada held her breath, watching me, her cheeks still flushed. She wouldn’t dream of stopping me and I knew it. Hell, I should have handled her ass hours ago. Maybe this was what she needed. A good, hard fuck.

I forced her into a sitting position, leaning over her and dipping down to steal her lips in a kiss. That was more than enough to have her clinging to me and fighting to kiss me back between labored breaths. I pulled her off of the desk, my tongue slipping past her lips to meet her own. She submitted to me, moaning into the kiss and then groaned when I pulled away.

She squeaked as I turned her around and forced her forward. She was barefoot and I grinned at the way she was on her tiptoes, her front laying across the desk. Her hair was everywhere and she was breathless, already lost in desire. She was so fucking easy.

I pushed her dress up over her ass and ran my hands down her hips. That smooth skins of hers always did things to me. But nothing worked me up as much as seeing her like this.

I wouldn’t wait. Even though most of my frustration had already dissipated, I still wanted to get on with it. She needed a good hard fuck, and I was just the one to give it to her.

Her head lifted off the desk and she cried out as I entered her– burying myself inside of her with one thrust. I how warm and tight she was–not to mention wet. There was no better feeling in the world, and I knew that was because I loved her so fucking much.

I stared down, mesmerized by the sight of my dick moving in and out of her. I moved hard and quick, getting in deep and rolling my hips. She was so loud and I loved it. The louder she got, the harder I went at it, and the more forceful I was, the more she let me hear that beautiful voice of hers.

Her hands were gripping tight to the end of the desk, her mouth opened in a perfect O as she continued with her never ending moans. Both my hands had a firm grip on her ass. It was the feel of her pussy clenching around me that had me stilling.

“I’ll be damned.” I hissed. There was no way in hell I was going to let her come that quickly. Not after all the shit she’d put me through today.

“Don’t stop!” She breathed, still giving me orders.

“Oh I’m done listening to your demanding ass today, little dove. Don’t you fucking forget it.” I grinned darkly to myself, not moving even slightly.

Sarada clawed at the desk in frustration. “You can’t stop now … you can’t.” She whined desperately.

Shit. She was right. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t take a momentary break just to make her suffer. “Try me.” I muttered, pulling out of her completely. But I wasn’t moving. I just wanted to hear her whine.

She gasped. “Boruto Uzumaki!”

“Sarada Uzumaki!” I mocked her, smug as I could have been.

“You … don’t try to get on my good side … calling me that.” She complained, weak to her married name.

“It should be you trying to get on my good side.” I grumbled before ramming into her again. “Making me do all that stupid shit all day. I’m still pissed.”

She whimpered at the feeling, pushing back against me. “S-so am I.”

Her words had my brows furrowing because I knew damn well I hadn’t done anything to make her pissed at me. “You’re talking out of your ass, Sarada.” I told her, moving within her slower this time.

“I’m mad … that it took you this long to snap.” She said, making me stop in curiosity.

“The fuck are you talking about?” I narrowed my eyes on her face, half hidden by her long black hair.

She gazed at me, a little dazed. “Boruto … you really are dense. Why do you think I’m mad, that I’ve been pushing you?” She asked. “Think about this morning.”

This morning? I filled her slowly as I thought back to this morning– before she started being a pain in my ass. We woke up fine, she was fine, I was fine. She seemed to be in a good mood, I was hugging up to her from behind. She was a little fidgety, squirming around with her ass all over my dick until I got out of bed to take my morning shower. Something happened in between then and after I finished my shower. I found her in the kitchen after getting dressed and she all but threw my breakfast at me. What the hell did I do though? I hadn’t said shit to her.

“This morning was fine until you served me breakfast like you hated me, the food, the plate and the milk which you spilled on the counter and refused to clean up. So all I can remember is you being petty as fuck all day.” I shrugged, continuing my slow thrusts. This was my moment now and I wasn’t going to let her take it from me.

She clicked her tongue. “Tch! If you can’t figure it out that’s on you. I’m not telling you.”

Not telling me? “See if I care!” I scoffed and gave her a swift and hard thrust. She yelped, moving even further onto the tips of her toes. “You just need to get over this attitude problem of yours. Now.”

“Make. Me.” Sarada dared.

Ooh. I could never turn down a challenge, especially from her. “Don’t you worry, little dove. I will.” Unfortunately for me, that meant giving her what she really wanted. If I stopped and denied her she would only get worse. I had to see this through, even if she honestly didn’t deserve it.

But I was doing this for me– and for my sanity.

I pulled out just long enough to roll her onto her back, moving her to the best position for me to fuck her into bliss. I lifted her legs, moving them over my shoulders before entering her again. She couldn’t form another word as I pounded into her. Her back arched with my movements, those pretty broken moans falling more and more.

Before I could think better of it, I reached for her clit, pressing firmly against it with my thumb and circling it in time with my thrusts. If she got any louder I wouldn’t be hearing anything for the next two days. Part of me still didn’t want her to come, but the better part of me needed it. I wanted to watch and feel her fall apart because it always gave me so much satisfaction.

“You wanna come, little dove?” I asked, voice deep and breathy. I never slowed down as I spoke and waited her response.

“Boruto!” She moaned. “Please.”

“Please what?” I asked, stopping then and pulling my hand just out of reach of her bundle of nerves.

Sarada whined, beside herself with pleasure. “Please … let me come.”

Fuck. She was too sexy for her own good and I couldn’t deny her or myself. My thumb went back to work and so did I. She was panting, moaning and clawing at the desk. I was close and dying for her to come for me. It didn’t take but another moment for her body to clench up in anticipation and I moved my thumb faster, fucked her deeper until she finally came.

I would never get tired of the way her whole body quaked from her orgasms, the way she screamed my name. How so often tears would prick at her eyes just as they did now. How her pussy tightened and fluttered around my cock until she pulled everything I had out of me.

“Fuck.” I hissed, keeping myself sheathed inside her as we both rode out our orgasms. She was too fucking much sometimes.

After a moment, I collected myself and left her. I couldn’t help but watch the way my come leaked out of her and she shamelessly let me. Damn woman. She was going to be the end of me and I just knew it. I watched her until she got up shakily and stepped off the desk. The way she trembled all over only made me want to go again. But I would wait.

“Now …” She panted, moving her hair out of her face. “Fix the printer.”

I gaped at her before clenching my teeth. “Fuck. The. Printer.” I hissed, I wasn’t doing anything else today. I took a breath to calm myself and then pointed at her. “You’re fucking trying me, aren’t you?”

“You tell me.” She sassed, a smirk tugging at her lips.

My fists clenched at my sides before it finally hit me and I started laughing. “I know what this is… you wanted to fuck this morning didn’t you? That’s why you’re being such a bitch.”

“Bi … bi … Who the hell are you calling a bitch?” She asked. “You shouldn’t have ignored me. Now you’re paying the price.”

“Whoa, okay first of all. Who the fuck are you talking to with that type of language young lady! And I didn’t ignore you, shit you could have had to piss or something. How was I supposed to know you were horny. Is it so hard to tell me sometimes? And hell, we fucked half the night last night. You’re insatiable. I can’t handle but so much.”

She was trying to kill me… but I liked it.

“Don’t talk to me.” She said and crossed her arms, pouting.

“So… we can’t talk but we can have sex?” I crossed my arms too, mocking her pout.

“ … … Yes.”

So fucking impossible. So irresistible. “Fine. I guess we can go once more.” I told her before scooping her up over my shoulder and heading to our bedroom. It was bad that I knew she was grinning like a cheeky little brat… and I loved her even more for it.

#borusara #boruto uzumaki #Sarada uchiha #boruto and sarada #to walk alongside you #modern au #ss-tyytyy #kanatyy #turn an innocent prompt into smut #it was fun #lemon

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crystalninjaphoenix · 6 years ago

Text

Stalkers and Masks

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

These are two moments that I really wanted to address, but I felt both were too short for their own story. So I took one and made it a framing device for the other. One’s about Stacy and what she’s going through, and the other is about Marvin and one of his problems. Ehhh, probably not my best work but I’ve done these two plot points all the justice I can.

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids @awkward-bullshit @watermelonsinmyattic @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske @odysseus-is-best-boi @acuriousquail @beerecordings

Stacy liked to think that her computer was secure. She kept up-to-date on her antivirus software, didn’t give trust anything that asked for her security information, and kept her passwords on a sheet of paper in her nightstand drawer instead of anywhere digitally that could be hacked. However, she quickly learned that all these precautions were for naught when it came to the living glitch who decided he wanted to check on her every ten hours or so. She’d be browsing the Internet and suddenly the webpage would freak out. That didn’t mean she was being hacked (actually, technically she was) it just meant Anti decided to pop in.

Honestly, she was starting to warm up to him. Maybe that was because he hadn’t showed up in person for the last week so she didn’t have to deal with his personality. Occasionally she’d get an email or text from a blocked user, asking her how life was, if she was safe. And, well, life was better. She’d gotten a new job at a department store with better pay. The hours were good too, now she had time to spend with her kids and also get enough sleep. Things in the city seemed to have calmed down, in that there was less death and disappearance on the news.

But...something was off. There were times when she was out and about, driving the kids to places or running errands on her own, when she felt like someone was watching her. When she looked around, she usually didn’t see anyone. But there were times when she thought she saw...him. To the point where it was starting to freak her out.

One night, after putting the kids to bed, she sat down at her computer and typed a simple phrase into Google: “how to tell if someone is stalking me.” Immediately, the page froze. She hit enter several times, trying to search, but a strange, rapid staticky beeping just came out from her speakers. And it was that moment when she realized it wasn’t just something wrong with her Internet.

A fizzing of pixels later, Anti was sitting on her desk, legs dangling off the side. “What are you, seven?” she asked before her brain could catch up with her mouth.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Anti said. “So what’s up with that search?”

“Are you spying on me whenever I use Google?”

“No, I just installed a program to let me know when certain words were searched. Such as ‘stalk’ or ‘stalking.’” His eye narrowed. “So? What’s the deal? Is it him?”

“I’m...not sure,” Stacy said slowly. “Sometimes I think I see him, other times I just get a...a vague sort of sense that...someone’s watching me. It’s probably nothing, I’m probably just being stupid, but...better safe than sorry, y’know?”

“Definitely, especially considering they could be magically tracking you.”

Stacy gaped at him and his nonchalant statement. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, you were there that night at the diner. You saw that magic was real. Didn’t you think something like that was possible?”

“No, I didn’t.” Stacy leaned back in her swivel chair. “I guess it never occurred to me that that was a-a possibility. I didn’t know the rules for this sort of thing. Sorry, I should have thought—I should have known.”

Anti stared at her, then glitched off the desk and into a standing position. “No, you really shouldn’t have, because nobody told you. It’s not your fault, so don’t assume it is. I could possibly give you a brief overview, let you know what you’re in danger of.”

“Oh! Th-thank you!” Stacy hadn’t realized she was apologizing for things that weren’t her fault. Force of habit, she assumed. She looked at the computer screen, where her question still lingered, unsearched, in the search bar. “Do you think...I-I mean, I know Chase doesn’t have any magic, unless he does and I didn’t know, so...are they teaming up?”

Anti considered this. “Probably. Your ex and the magician aren’t on the best terms, but they’re civil. You’d be in more danger of having the doctor or the vigilante stalking you for him, those guys are closer.”

For some reason, that simple statement made dread pool in her stomach. “H-how many of them are there again?”

“Five.”

“And...and they could all help Ch—help him follow me?”

“Mmm, probably.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” Stacy sat on her hands to keep them from shaking. She’d never done anything in her life to warrant so many enemies. And, if she remembered correctly, these guys were responsible for most of the current chaos and terror in the city. She worked hard to take deep, controlled breaths. “Do you...do you have any, uh, um, any info on these guys I could see? You’re all computery, do you have files on them or something?”

“I do. But you don’t want the full files, you’ll lose sleep. I can maybe give you some edited versions...” Anti’s head tilted to one side. He stared intently at her computer screen. She watched as her browser closed and her file explorer opened. By itself, the computer navigated to the downloads folder, then five new folders appeared, each one labeled with a name, followed by (edit).

“Huh...that’s handy.” Stacy scooted her chair closer to the desk, grabbing the mouse. She stared at the folder with his name on it for a while, but she couldn’t bring herself to click on it. Instead, she clicked on the next one down, opening up the folder to reveal various .txt files.

“There used to be photos and videos in here,” Anti said, peering over her shoulder.

“Why’d you remove them?”

“How squeamish are you?”

“I mean...my daughter broke her arm once. It was all bent but I could look at it.”

“I probably made a good call then.” Anti pointed at one of the files, and it opened up. “Brief overview: guy’s a doctor. Not really, ‘cause he got booted from medical school for maltreatment. Didn’t stop him from faking graduation, getting a job at a hospital, and then stealing the patients who wouldn’t be missed.”

“This sounds like the backstory of a horror movie villain,” Stacy laughed nervously.

Anti didn’t laugh. “I’m sure the patients thought they were stuck in a horror movie.” He gave Stacy a dead-eye stare until her smile faded. Then he turned back to the screen. “Police in his home country found out. He ran, ending up here. Started a nice little black-market clinic and kept up his hobby.”

“You know I think I’ll read this one later, when it’s lighter outside.” Stacy hurried to click out of the folder. She opened up the next one instead. This one had videos as well as text files. “...should I be worried about these?” she asked, circling one of the videos with the mouse.

“Nothing explicit, just violence like you’d see in a movie. Criminals get the shit beat out of them. The works.”

“Wait...this is for that vigilante, isn’t it? The one on the news?” Stacy looked at the folder name. “That’s his real—”

“Yep. So if you see a guy who looks like this—” He opened one of the videos, fast forwarding until he got to a good image of the vigilante’s face. “—and he introduces himself to you as that, you better run. Actually, don’t, he’s probably faster than you. Distract him until you can sneak away.”

“He can’t be that bad, can he?” Stacy asked, skeptical. “I mean...getting rid of the criminals in the city? It’s like a real-life superhero.”

“Well, superheroes don’t beat confessions out of mob members and then murder them. He’s probably the safest to have a conversation with, though. Assuming you haven’t done anything illegal.”

“O-kay...then...” Stacy was starting to realize just how deep this trouble she was in really was. She could feel the beginnings of panic edging in on her, but she pushed it away. She’d let herself freak out later. “Wh-what about that magician guy? I think you called him Marvin in the diner? Can he really...magically track me?”

“Probably.” Anti closed the vigilante’s folder and opened up the magician’s. There were a lot of images in this one, what looked like pictures of pages from books. “I’ve been trying to keep track of the spells he knows, but it can be difficult. There’s a good chance he knows a tracking spell, but he probably wouldn’t use it unless someone, like your ex, asked him to.”

“...do I want to know why?”

“Eh, he doesn’t really care for spells like that. If they can’t produce effects he can see, he won’t use them unless necessary. He’s a flashy bitch like that. Has a style and sticks to it. Like that cape, which he only takes off maybe one day per week, and that mask, which I actually haven’t seen him take off yet.”

“Really? Never? Not even to sleep or take a shower or anything?”

“Sleeps with it on. And I’m don’t know about that shower thing, I didn’t put a camera in their bathroom.”

Stacy briefly wondered if his knowledge about sleeping with the mask meant he’d put cameras in the bedrooms, but she pushed that out of her mind for now. “Why? Seems uncomfortable...”

Anti laughed. “Well, a long time ago, he tried a spell he wasn’t ready for, and it blew up in his face. I’m pretty sure he’s embarrassed about what it looks like underneath there...”

“Schneep! I know for a fact you’re in there!” Marvin banged on the door. When there was still no answer, he sighed, looking around the reception room of the clinic where he was standing. He didn’t like this place. It was that kind of almost-nice that looked like it was trying to fool you into thinking it was less shady than it actually was. The good doctor really needed to upgrade his decor.

Having enough of contemplating his dislike of this place, Marvin turned back to the door and started banging harder. “Hey doc! I’m not against melting your door down if you don’t come out in the next thirty seconds!”

The door flung open, and Marvin barely jumped out of the way in time to avoid getting a whack to the face. Schneep poked his head out. He was wearing his mask, which he proceeded to pull down in order to scowl at Marvin. “There is no need for such a commotion, my friend!” he scolded. “I was in one of the back rooms, I did not hear you for a while and then it took me a tick-tock to get here.”

“Whatever. Get a security camera wired up here, or a buzzer or something. I could’ve been a customer who just decided to take business elsewhere.”

Schneep barked out a laugh. “If people come here, it is not because they have options to take business to. But enough of this, what did you want?”

Marvin shifted on his feet. “I...need you to take a look at something.”

“Oh, is that all?” A wave of relief crossed Schneep’s face. He stepped back, opening the door wide enough for Marvin to pass through. “Come in, come in, I can see what it is back here.”

Marvin let Schneep lead him into the operating part of the clinic, but he refused to sit down on the table. “It seems not so serious, so if you would please wait a moment while I take care of this...” Schneep vanished through one of the metal doors leading deeper into the building, leaving Marvin to tap his feet impatiently. He didn’t like this. First of all, this place looked like it was thrown together, and also needed an upgrade. Second of all, he was already having doubts about this, he didn’t want them to have time to fester.

Schneep reemerged, tossing an empty syringe on a nearby tray. “There we are, we will not be disturbed now,” he said. “What is it you need help with?”

Marvin started fidgeting, pulling on his fingers. “Okay. So. I am—look, I’m trusting you with this. You can’t tell anyone, alright?”

“That is no problem.”

“I’m serious. I will literally put a fucking curse on you if I find out you told anyone.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve been working on one that can make it feel like pins are being shoved in your eyes whenever you look at something, and that something can be as vague as a specific color. Y’know, like the literal version of ‘cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.’”

“Now you are going overboard with this. I have no intention of telling anyone whatever it is this is about. This secret of yours is safe with me.”

Marvin exhaled slowly, and looked toward the ceiling. “Okay. Okay, good. Fuck. Here goes nothing.” Before he could change his mind, he reached up and undid the straps of his mask, then pulled it off. He slowly looked back towards the doctor.

Schneep’s eyes were wide. He stepped forward until he was uncomfortably close to Marvin. He raised his hand. “May I...?”

Marvin hesitated. “...fine,” he grumbled. “But take off your gloves, they’re still messy. And be careful.”

The doctor pulled off his gloves, then put his hands on either side of Marvin’s head, turning it from side to side so he could get a better look. “My god,” he muttered. “What happened to you?”

“That’s not your fucking business,” Marvin said through gritted teeth. “But they’ve been...itching for a while now, and I’m wondering if they’re infected or something.”

“I would be surprised if they were not. They look...angry.” Schneep’s eyebrows furrowed. “How old are they?”

“I think about...four years at this point?” Marvin started turning his mask over in his hands. It was hard to remember sometimes.

“Really? I would think only a couple months.”

“Doc, I’ve been living with you for two years and haven’t once taken off my mask. You didn’t think there was a reason for that?”

“Ah yes.” Tentatively, Schneep reached out and tapped Marvin in the middle of his forehead. “What is this?”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Marvin yanked his head back.

“Excuse me, I am concerned! That looks like bone!”

“It’s not bone, it’s just—making my first mask out of ceramic was a really bad idea, ‘cause even magically-enhanced pottery can still shatter.”

“Why do you have ceramic embedded in your face?!”

Marvin resisted the urge to touch the places where the shards had ended up lodging. He had them memorized by now, mostly because of the dead spot in his nerves there. Forehead, upper cheeks, one between his nose and left eye, one above his right. He could have dealt with the rest of the scars, if only the shards weren’t there. “Look, I was wearing my old mask at the time this happened, it broke, I ended up getting pieces of porcelain fucking stuck to my face, can we move on?!”

Schneep raised his hands in surrender, stepping back. “Okay, okay, fine!”

“Thank you.” Marvin began spinning his mask around his pointer finger, using one of the eyeholes. “Anyway, can you tell if they’re infected? And can you help if they are?”

Schneep bit his lip, eyes scanning the damage. “Well, I would have to know what caused them. They look a bit like burns, but in the pattern of knife slashes. Like hot glass.”

“What?”

“Bits of broken glass, heated up so they will burn, flung at your face. That’s what it looks like. There are also parts where I am reminded of Lichtenburg figures.”

“What?” Marvin repeated, exasperated.

“When things are struck by high voltage, patterns will appear. These are not quite the same as scars of lightning, they are...bigger. But I am reminded of them.”

Marvin sighed. “You know what? Let’s just work under the assumption that someone took a hot, electrified knife and repeatedly applied it to my face, that’s probably as accurate as you’re going to get. There might also be some lingering traces of magic in there.”

Schneep rolled his eyes. “Well, I cannot do anything about that, but if they are itching and irritating you, I have some salves that may help. They are in the other back room, the storage one, if you would kindly follow me.”

“Alright, alright, but I hope you find this stuff quickly. Chase is making me watch his ex for him, and I don’t feel like getting into a shouting match with him over not actually doing it.”

It was around midnight when Stacy decided to go to bed. She’d tried to read through the file Anti had given her on the magician, but had to stomp halfway through. Some of these spells...why would anyone want to use spells like that? Instead, she switched to reading the vigilante’s file, managing to finish it. Then she realized it was way too late, and she had to get up early to make breakfast for the kids, get ready for work, take the kids to school, and go to work herself. That was only four things, but that was too much.

She was walking down the hall to her room when there was a knock on the front door.

Fear jolted through her. Who could be knocking this late at night? Nobody good, probably. She stood shock-still in the hallway, waiting for something else. When nothing happened, she swallowed her nerves and crept toward the living room and the front door. Maybe it was nothing?

When she flipped the lights on, the front room looked exactly the same as it had earlier that day. Except for one thing: there was now a brown envelope sitting on the floor, in the perfect position to have been pushed through the mail slot. Stacy slowly stepped forward. She peered through the peephole on the door, seeing nothing on the other side. So she looked down at the envelope on the floor, then bent over and picked it up. She turned it over in her hands.

There were words written on the back of the envelope. “Hello sweetheart.”

Stacy recognized that handwriting.

She collapsed on the couch, staring at the envelope, listening to her heart pounding in her ears.

He’d found her.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #antisepticeye #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #dr schneeplestein #septics inverted au #invertedau #brigid writes fanfiction

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yminie · 7 years ago

Text

adjustment (m) | jung hoseok

source: x

pairing: Hoseok x Reader genre/warnings: smut, fluff, chiropractor!hoseok, patient!reader, unprotected sex, creampie, rough-ish, oral sex (recieving) words: 7138 summary: At Kim-Jung Chiropractics, they meet your every need, and today it's not just your back that needs aligning.

a/n: I promise it's not a cheesy porno :’)

You can’t help but let out a pained gasp as you climb from your car, the twisting of your lower back with just one foot on the pavement triggering a momentary stab of agony at the base of your spine. The area had been tender all week, the sudden sharpness kicking in only every now and then but immobilising you regardless, and you were completely fed up.

It was a god send that you’d managed to slot in a last minute appointment at Kim-Jung Chiropractic, and with it being a Friday afternoon you were even just thankful you’d made it in time - leaving work a little early had paid off for you to miss the hometime rush.

Leaning up and out, you finally straighten yourself with a sigh, groaning as you reach back in and over to the passenger seat to grab your handbag before shutting your door and locking it firmly. Walking into the office feels somewhat strange, unfamiliar, and you think back to the one time prior that you’d been in; before the renovation.

It wasn’t much different, still bright white, clean walls, but the new carpet was a nice touch and the armchairs had been reupholstered to a much more comfortable looking soft leather rather than the plastic they’d had before.

The pretty girl behind the desk smiles brightly when you approach and promptly asks for your name and appointment time, typing quickly in her computer before guiding you to sit for a mere two minute wait on Dr Kim's current appointment.

You muse over the idea that you’re the last appointment of the day, given the complete absence of any other patients in the waiting room, and you can’t quite tell if it’s more or less awkward being completely on your own with just the receptionist for silent company.

Almost ready to start up a conversation on the weather, you jump at the sudden appearance of the young, handsome grey-haired Dr Kim, a loosely fitting white shirt under a blue knitted vest that it's just a little too early in the season to be wearing. He flits through his office door and skips to the front desk to flip through some paperwork, and gives you a brief grin when he lifts his gaze.

“Your next appointment is here Dr Kim.” The receptionist barely pauses in her keyboard tapping to inform him, the clinic phone ringing loudly and she jumps up to answer it straight away.

“Yes, I thought so, how are you Miss…” He glances down momentarily before smiling even wider, “_____?”

“Fine thank you.” He still looks busy, so you don’t bother to stand, and he murmurs quietly to the girl to his left when she places the phone back in it’s cradle, asking for her to photocopy some forms before rounding the desk once more and pausing just outside his door.

“Very good! I’m running horribly overtime, sorry. If you’re in a rush you can check with Irene if any other doctors are free, I fear this may take at least another fifteen minutes.” He bids you a gentle wave with a regretful smile before he’s gone again, door clicking shut behind him, and you pause a moment before turning back to the receptionist once more.

She’s already looking at you, slightly more sheepish than she was before, and you shrug gently. “I don’t mind who I see, it’s fine.” Nodding, she lifts the phone back to her ear and speed dials, only a moment passing before whoever is on the other line seems to answer.

“Ah! Dr Jung, yes are you free?” She hums at his answer and skillfully types into her laptop while he speaks. “Mr Kim’s-no, Kim Taehyung- his final appointment is on a fifteen minute overtime wait, can you squeeze her in before you leave today at all?” She grins widely and giggles at whatever joke he must make, eyes meeting yours for her to squint them into crescent moons of amusement. “Okay, thank you, I’ll send her right in!”

Thank god.

You wince pitifully when just the motion of standing from the squishy cushion twinges in your lower back, and follow her guiding arm to a door just down the short hallway, left slightly open and the quick chattering of computer keys echoing from the little room. You hesitantly lift a closed fist to knock softly on the door, wood moving a little under the gentle pressure, and you jump again when a low voice welcomes you inside.

“Come right on in!” You’re so not prepared.

Dr Jung is stunning, and you would’ve thought dark red hair would not suit a maroon shirt but hey, he proves you so, so wrong. He doesn’t look like the kind of man you would find in a doctors office, much more likely to be in a magazine modelling with the likes of that jawline. He’s focused, the concentration pulling his eyebrows together slightly but doing nothing to take away from the blatant friendliness, and his honey skin glows when he finally lifts his gaze and grins widely.

“Hi! Shut the door behind you - take a seat!” You do as he says quickly, the megawatt smile making you need to focus twice as hard on not tripping over your own feet as you shuffle to the chair beside his desk against the wall, meeting his outstretched hand with your own. “Nice to meet you! Dr Jung Hoseok, what was your name?”

His forearms, slightly veiny and skin creamy soft, are completely exposed with his maroon shirt sleeves pushed up, and you fall into a trance as he gently massages the muscles and tendons, preparing himself for this session. “U-uh, _____, nice to meet you too.”

You blush as you stutter, lashes fluttering as you drag your gaze from his rubbing fingers and fixing them on the spine diagram poster behind his head, and if he notices your flustered expression, he doesn’t let it show.

“Alrighty, _____. Irene is just faxing through your record and paperwork but while she does that, why don’t you fill me in on why you’re here today?” He leans towards you, elbows resting against his knees, and watches you intently with a gentle smile.

“Well, I’ve been having this really sharp pain in my lower back, and it’s almost paralysing. It’s instantaneous and it only happens every now and then or when I move a particular way so it catches me off guard a lot.” He nods, eyebrows pulling together as you talk and only frees your eyes from his stare when a ding comes through his computer and the printer buzzes out a couple pages.

“Is there a lingering ache? Like perhaps a pinched nerve?” He divides his attention between you and the paperwork, but still listens carefully, and you fidget in your seat at how closely he seems to be watching your body.

“Well, I originally thought maybe it was my sciatic nerve, but the pain isn’t in my hip or leg or anything, really just the middle of my lower back.” You wave your hands around the side of your hip as you describe, and flush yet again as he follows each of your movements. Why are you getting so flustered over him?

“You seem a bit young for sciatica, Miss _____.” He playfully teases, eyes crinkling as he chuckles and your cheeks burn hotter again. “You were in previously? For…?”

“Oh yes, I saw Dr Kim after I dislocated my knee... maybe two years back? The joint kept resting wrong and he adjusted it a couple times before it came good.” He nods earnestly, eyes grazing over the paperwork before he shuffles forward in his wheelie chair.

“Alright, well I’ll check your back alignment and range of motion now and then we’ll see what we can do about this pain, okay?” You release a shaky breath as quietly as you can, standing and following him to the adjustment bed. For a moment there, you’d forgotten that he was actually going to be touching you, but now you can’t stop thinking about it.

“Lay face down for me?” Oh, god, here we go brain. You hum an affirmative, shrugging your cardigan from your shoulders and ditching it with your handbag on the chair and quickly doing as he’d asked, chest flat against the table. He mumbles quietly to himself as he moves down to your feet first, and you try not to jump when warm, gentle fingers grip your ankle. “Mind if I slip your sneakers off? Just so I can see the proper alignment in your feet?”

“O-Oh, sure.” His fingers are nimble, fast, and your shoes are nudged off to the side in seconds, and he gently holds your feet side by side, pushing them up to bend your knees and check a new angle before letting them rest back down again. You can feel yourself heating up under his warm hands, not being able to see him only adding to your stress, and suddenly you remember the bright red g-string you’d chosen to wear under your yoga leggings - oh god, they’re not see-through are they?

“So where abouts is the pain when it comes in your back?” He steps around to your right side and places one hand on the table close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off his fingers, but you keep your face nestle into the gap even as you lift an arm to show him.

“Like right down here.” It’s -essentially- your ass, right next to your tailbone, but he’s not shy to replace your fingers the instant you let your arm fall again, and he pats your back when he notices that you’d jumped at his touch. Kill me now.

“Right in your sacrum?” Sure fingers press on either side of the bone there, slightly kneading the flesh right where the curve of your back turns into butt, and you blush furiously. “Your tailbone, sorry?”

“Y-Yeah.” He pokes around for a moment, fingers inspecting your lower back and tailbone, before shuffling further down the table and gripping your shin, right below your knee.

“Let’s just test your range of motion, lift this leg as high as you comfortably can? Don’t lift your hips.” He holds your right leg up gently with his left hand, the other firmly leaving an imprint on your right hip, and you take a deep breath as you will your face to stop burning, the back of your neck and palms becoming clammy. “Any pain here?”

“Not at all.” He hums in response, lowering your leg for a moment and then lifting it again, pulling it towards himself slightly in mid air and repeating the question. No pain, but you can definitely feeling the stretch in your upper thigh - you really need to work out more.

“Okay, other leg?” He repeats the entire process, fingers pressing into the soft flesh of your lower back to feel the way those muscles move with the movement, but again you feel no pain and he mumbles to himself for a moment before tapping the back of your thigh gently. “Okay, sit up for me for a sec.”

Pushing yourself up, you twist carefully and land your backside on the table, blushing at the way you’re somewhat out of breath because you know it’s not from the effort. He smiles at you sweetly, and for a moment you’re terrified to almost see a knowing glance at the exposed section of your chest, reddened with exertion, but he quickly moves along.

“Twist your back slowly for me? To the right? Good. Left side? Anything?” You shake your head and he reaches for your hands, and you wipe them quickly on your pants before his fingers wrap around your wrists and hold you steady. “Lean towards me?”

God he smells amazing. You do as asked, accepting his hands as rests while you lean out and you’re careful not to lean too close to his chest, unfortunately not missing the waft of delicious cologne that lingers on the stunning maroon shirt he’s wearing, and this close to his face you can see the golden flecks in his irises - before you embarrassedly drop your gaze.

“Hm, hold onto the table?” He guides your hands into the space between your parted thighs, and you’re awfully thankful for the hair that covers your face. Walking around the table quickly, he gently runs his hands down your back and encourages you to stretch forward once more, this time getting a proper feel on the muscles on your back.

“Oh!” he nudges a ticklish spot on your side and your knee jerk reaction is to squeak a giggle and grab his hand, and he chuckles warmly, close enough that you can feel his breath on your shoulder, and he playfully pokes the spot again, surprising you.

“Sorry.” He’s still laughing when he steps back, rounding the table to come face to face with you again and he waits for you to lift your shy eyes to his before he speaks. “From what I can feel, it’s your lumbar vertebrae that are a little off, so; your lower back. I can align them and your sacroiliac joint, and then I’ll check your thoracic, upper back, for any misalignment okay?”

You nod and he guides you down to lay on your right side facing him, firm hands moving and placing you and making your blood boil in the best of ways. You’re internally scolding yourself for becoming so worked up when he hooks his hand beneath your left knee, pulling the bent leg to the edge of the table before stepping over it and holding it in place between his two firm thighs, and you immediately squeeze your eyes as you muffle a gasp.

“This is gonna get a really good stretch on your lower back and really get into that joint. Okay? Cross your arms over your chest and twist back to your left that way?” He’s still guiding you, pressing your left shoulder towards the table behind you before slotting his warm right hand against your lower back and gently feeling for the joint.

“This is where I’m going to be adding pressure, right over your L5 vertebrae.” He’s directly massaging the muscles that had been aching all week and you bite your lip at the momentary pleasure to stop yourself from sighing in delight, but you rush to release it when you spot his sly grin - fuck, he noticed.

Having never had an upper body adjustment you weren’t expecting him to get so close and you cant help the way you automatically try to shift away as he leans down towards you, but he holds you in place and pauses hovered over you. He looks carefully over your expression and backs off a little, hands still firm, “Everything okay?” You nod, and he leans slightly closer, still watching your face. “Am I making you uncomfortable? I need to use my body weight to adjust this joint.”

“N-No! It’s fine, really I just…” Taking a deep breath, you settle into place in his hold and shake your head. “Just not used to it.” Brushing it off with a chuckle, you nod at him and he waits a moment longer, not missing the way your cheeks have reddened again, and he continues with a small smile.

“Okay, slow now, deep breath for me?” you inhale, trying to focus on a dot on the ceiling instead of the feeling of your chest brushing his. “And exhale?”

You’re too focused.

“_____?”

“Sorry?” You jump, eyes back on his and you’re mortified as he dips his head to the side to bark out a laugh, and you can’t help the pout that finds its way onto your lips at his amusement at your expense.

“Apologies,” He clears his throat, chest pressed against you still vibrating slightly as he holds back his chuckles and he turns back to connect your gazes again. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, that was just too cute.” God damn it!

He adjusts his hold on you once more, thighs firmly clamped around yours, and you force yourself to pay attention regardless of how flustered his proximity is making you. What’s the bet your clothes will smell like his cologne after this?

“Breathe in.” You do, and he locks his hold. “And out.”

In a mere second, he’s pressed you down with his body weight and he holds you steady once the joint clicks into place, fingers pressing hard into your back to keep you in place and you cry out at the sudden release of pressure that shoots right up your spine and down your legs, tingling in the muscles.

“Not a cry of pain I hope?” He massages you gently, releasing your thigh from between his and briefly rubbing the circulation back into the limb while you simply shake your head, laying still as a corpse and still recovering from the slight surprise. “We’ll do the other side now?”

“Okay.” Your voice is a little shaky, and you carefully roll onto your left side before clearing your throat, following the same mental instructions to position yourself like last time, and he smiles at your efforts, pulling you closer towards himself at the edge of the table and hooking your leg through his again.

“Okay, breathe in.” You take a deep breath, calming yourself slightly, but then you make the mistake of locking eyes with him as he leans close. “Good girl. Exhale.”

You squeak at the next crack of your joint, eyes wide and fluttering at his words and body instantly tense even as he gently rubs your leg and back to restore circulation, and you drop your gaze to the wall when he releases your eyes and steps away. “All good?”

“Y-yeah.” He hums, and scribbles something on his paperwork before crossing back towards you.

“Okay, flat on your back now.” You roll onto your back with a slight groan, shaking your legs as they tingle with pins and needles. “Numb anywhere?”

“My legs are a little.” He nods, hands automatically grabbing your thighs and firmly massaging them to ease the tingles, all the while you’re staring up at the ceiling with your cheeks on fire. What had he called you?

“That’s pretty normal, it’ll pass in no time. We’ll quickly get your thoracic done and then I’ll recheck your alignment.” He releases your thighs but moves to your waist instead and straightens you how he wants with a hand on either hip, a secret smile curling his lips.

“Now from what I felt there’s a misalignment on your L2 and L3 joints, but they’re super easy. Cross your arms across your chest -really far- yes perfect.” He pats your hands where they’re clamped on either shoulder and leans in close yet again, only this time he’s not tilted to the side as much, and you can feel his breath on your neck. You just hope the goose bumps aren’t as obvious as they feel.

“This is gonna be fast okay?” At your nod, and presses his chest against you and lifts the arch of your back with his right hand, tucking his other under your back from where he is at your left and making a fist right below and between your shoulder blades. “Deep breath in and then out. Very good! Perfect, sweetheart.”

He crunches you twice beneath his torso, pulling two very satisfying clicks from your spine, and you could’ve sworn you’d felt his lips brush your skin, his face having pressed against your neck with each push.

“Wow.” You gasp, feel the release of pressure at either end of your spine, and he chuckles with a rub to your arm.

“Feeling alright?” You nod and he grins wider, pleased. “Great! Just lay there for a second while I document and then we’ll get you up and see how your head feels, okay?”

“Okay.” His shoulders look surprisingly broad from the back, and you can’t help but look him up and down while you wait. His shirt tucks inwards at his waist, highlighting how slim he is, while his slacks are fitted around his backside and thighs, also showing how muscular he is, and the longer you stare, the more worked up you can feel yourself become.

“How you doing?” He spins quite suddenly, giving life to the fact that you were staring so hard at his ass you zoned out, and you turn your head away fast enough that you almost trigger your own whiplash, and you ignore the light chuckles he releases. “Should we stand you up now?”

You nod and accept his outstretched hand, and he gently pulls you from the bed and settles your feet back on the floor, hand hovering around your elbow just incase your legs are too weak, but you stand just fine, albeit a bit wobbly.

“Lightheaded? Any pain? Take a few steps if you’d like.” You roll your shoulders and stretch your back a little, taking a couple steps back and forth and rolling the balls of your feet.

“I feel pretty good. The muscles on my lower back are tender but it’s not like before.” He immediately steps close to your side and presses his palm gently to the base of your spine, and you turn away before he can see your lashes flutter. How is his hand so warm?

“Those are your paralumbar muscles, and they commonly get the brunt of the force when adjusting this joint. I’ll massage them with my gun and they should loosen right up, lay down again.” You raise a brow in curiosity but busy yourself with settling face first on the table again, not risking getting caught staring a second time when it’s already so obvious to him that you’re attracted.

“Now this can be a little loud, but it’s just the motor that vibrates the wand, so bear with me a minute sweetheart.” The who the what now? Where is this going?

A loud buzzing catches you off guard and your head shoots up to find Dr Jung wielding a machine that looks entirely too much like a drill to instill confidence in you, regardless of what he says, and he must be able to sense your nervousness because his hand is rubbing your back the moment he’s in reaching length.

“It’ll feel good, promise.” I’m sure it will! That’s the problem!

You tense as the massage gun gets closer and he lifts a hand to stroke the hair off the back of your neck, and you shudder fair too noticeably at his touch on such hyper sensitive skin, starting to relax when he massages the tense spots on either side.

The first contact with the gun makes you jump in shock, but the kneading vibrations in the middle of your back having you melting instantly and you can’t help the slight moan you let out as you turn into a flesh puddle under his touch. He feels it with his hold on your neck, and you sense his chuckles even if the vibrations block the sound, and then his hand glides down your spine to help circle and press in accompaniment of the gun and you’re a goner.

“Good?” Low - so, so low is his voice, and you almost dissolve into thin air as the timbre coats your already jello’d body like honey. You’re practically out of your mind, the want you have for him mixing with the pure heaven of his fingers kneading across your back and turning into one huge ball of lust that settles deep in your core. It’d been far too long since a man massaged you, let alone bed you, and the lack of fulfillment on both sides is clearly taking its toll.

“Y-Yeah.” He hums, a low sound that vibrates stronger than the gun in your core, and your body tenses as a sudden shot of arousal throbs between your walls, and he soothes it with another stroke down your spine, circling the ball end of the massage gun further down until suddenly the vibrations are no longer just a slight feeling, but a fully blown shake in your core.

The ball end is press right against where he’d been massaging earlier on either side of the tailbone, and it penetrates right down the soft flesh of your ass, into your thighs and directly into your core. You’re tensing more as waves of pleasure start to slicken your folds and stick your panties to your entrance, but you try your best to keep in control while you bury your burning cheeks into the face cushion and bite hard at your lip.

The realisation of just how hot your body is burning comes full swing when suddenly all vibrations are gone and he places the gun off to the side, using two hands on the base of your spine instead. “You’re tensing up, is it too tender?”

He knows; you can hear it in his voice and feel it in the way his thumbs rotate the flesh at the starting curve of your ass, and you force your lungs to take a deep breath, thighs pressing together as your core gives a throb in protest of the sudden lack of stimulation.

“Are these sore?” A patronising lilt just enough to make your fingers clench and toes curl meets your ears as his fingers oh so lightly drift over the peak of your ass and down across your thighs, and you have to stop yourself from lifting your hips to meet him. “Where does it ache most, sweetheart?”

Dr Jung’s fingers knead low, just above the backside of your knee, and your leg gives a little jerk in response that has him pressing harder, and he prompts you to speak again. “Where should I be massaging, love? You need to tell me so I can make it feel better.” He wants you to ask for it. And god, do you hope he’s being serious, because the ache settling in the depths of your heat is sending your tongue loose, and you can’t control yourself against the blatant temptation.

“Higher.” You’re not exactly proud of the way your voice shakes and cracks, but you’re way too deep to care in the moment, especially when his long-fingered hands drift slightly higher and encourage you to part your thighs just a little further with a gentle push on the insides.

“Right here?” Fake curiosity and concern when his fingertips roll into the fleshier part of your thigh makes you squeeze the hand rests even harder,gritting your teeth and still fighting the way your hips want to lift and put you on display. You’re shamefully desperate, but something tells you he might just like it that way.

“H-Higher, please.”

“Oh, up here?” His hand is scalding through the think cotton and spandex of your leggings, and you audibly release a shuddering breath when his fingers fidget in the soft spot right next to your panty line, close enough to your leaking entrance that if he moved a centimetre to the right he’d feel the moisture. “That’s strange, I didn’t adjust your hip.”

You whine, hips lifting finally and his thumb presses straight onto your entrance through the fabric, adding even more force when he realises exactly what you’ve done, and the whimper you release almost drowns out the pleasantly surprised grunt he gifts you upon feeling just how soaked you’ve become.

“Oh, you’ve made a mess, haven’t you?” His thumb rotates, and just by the slickness of your panties you can tell it’s seeping completely through to his touch. “You want me to make it better, baby?”

“Hnng-yes, please!” A strong grip clasps your ankles and you squeak in shock when you’re suddenly yanked to the end of the bed, your ass landing flush against his hips, toes just touching the floor and a hot, heavy thickness pressed solidly against you. “Oh-”

His large hand wraps around the back of your neck and he pulls you off the bed on the balls of your feet and spins you in place, shushing you and pressing you backwards until you’re seated on the edge again and his lips are free to smack wetly against yours. Dr Jung kisses you with abandon, devouring you with an impatience only applicable to the risky situation at hand, and your thoughts flicker briefly to the fact that there were most definitely other people in the rooms surrounding you.

But you can only care as much as he does, and he doesn’t seem overly concerned if the way he hitches your knee around his waist and dips his tongue past your lips is anything to go by. His fingers still knead at your fleshy thigh and you pull him closer with both legs now wrapped around his hips, and your fingers find his hair just the same as his do yours, twisting into the ends and tugging gently.

“God-” He pulls back with a huff, pressing his forehead to yours and cupping your cheek firmly, and you press close to his chest while the both of you stop and breathe heavily. “Why was it so hard to resist you, hm?” He chuckles, pulling your chin even closer until your lower lips brush against each other. But he doesn’t let you connect them right away. “Moaning while I’m trying to medically help you, dirty girl.”

“Your hands just feel so good, I–hnngh-” He chuckles while his hand glides down your back to knead your ass and press your core against his thick length, rolling hard against you, and his teeth tug your lower lip between his.

There almost a sting of pain at how hard he sucks your flesh into his mouth, and you can feel how bruised and swollen he's made your lips when he releases it to press a hard kiss to your mouth. His hips still circling, he hums a moan when your fingers drop to the collar of his shirt and he doesn't stop you when you slip open the buttons and tug the ends from his slacks waistband.

“You have no idea.” His words are heavily muffled from the embrace of your lips and you pull back to look over his toned torso that is now revealed to your eyes, running your hands down his heated skin and tucking your fingertips into his slacks. His own fingers glide to the sides of your leggings and he presses his thumbs to either hip, circling the joint and pinching the flesh to make you squeak. “I have a lot more than my hands to make you feel good, sweetheart.”

“Show me.” You're breathless, leaning into his chest and trying to swivel your hips against his, essentially uselessly with his tight hold on you.

“Yeah?” He taunts, jerking you closer with a rough tug, hooking his fingertips under your waistband and squeezing your skin. “You're sure?”

Both of you pull back to regard the other just for a moment, but there's not a modicum of doubt to be found in either of your eyes, and you each move as one when he presses you back to lay on the bed and you lift your hips. Your leggings slip from the ends of your feet, one sock going with them while the other stays, and neither of you pay it any mind once his hands are tickling your ribs under your shirt. His touch is a scorching warmth as it eases your shirt up, bunched until just above your breasts, and he leans over you as he tugs one cup of your bra down to envelop the tight peak of your nipple into his mouth.

Gasping as quietly as you can, your teeth find your lower lip and your hands lift to twist fingers through the silky strands of his hair, holding him close to continue his ministrations. Opposite hand finding your other mound, he does the same, licking his lips when the flesh bounces under his rough hand and swiping across your nipple before sucking it firmly between his teeth. You can feel the bruises forming on the sensitive flesh, and you yearn for more of the burning throb that it brings while his mouth runs across your skin.

Your chest is heaving by the time he releases you, and he stands between your parted thighs at the end of the bench with a dark hunger in his eyes, licking his lips once more as he glances over the mottled skin, still shining with his saliva.

Impatience settles deep in your stomach and you can't help yourself from reaching down and tugging the buckle of his belt open hard enough for the metal and leather to hit your inner thigh with a burning sting. He grins indulgently as he hooks a palm under each of your knees and tugs you further towards him, now hanging slightly off the bench. Bending your legs back until your thighs almost touch your chest, he leans down to deposit a wet, open mouthed kiss onto each of your thighs before cheekily biting the skin near your panty line, the red of the fabric darkened by the copious amount of juices you'd released.

“Pull them aside for me, sweetheart.” His words, muffled by the swirling of his tongue right beside your core, pull a shudder from your spine, and you quickly do as he says, hooking your finger under the tight band and exposing yourself. “Perfect.”

Your palm smacks against your mouth to hold in the cry his tongue pulls from your throat as he laves the tip of the muscle through your folds. A whimper escapes enough for him to hear as he curls it around your clit, and he grunts wetly into your heat while he stares up at you darkly, lashes fluttering as he savours your taste.

“Please just–huh!” You hiccup a sob when his tongue pierces your folds and curls deep within, and you're forced to turn your face into the curve of your elbow and clamp your teeth into the flesh of your bicep to hold in your sounds. Your fingers find his hair again, and you war with yourself whether to push him away or pull him closer, not wanting the pleasure to end, but hungering for something more.

He releases the throbbing little nub with a wet smack, licking his lips lavishly and pressing them just once to the soft swell of your stomach before straightening to his full height and unsnapping the clasp of his slacks to reveal dark navy briefs. Your back arches while your core clenches under the lack of stimulation and he tuts at the desperate way your feet press against the backs of his thighs to pull him closer. The sound is scolding, meant as a warning, but it only serves to feed the beast deep inside and you press your thighs together to try and soothe the ache.

“Open them.” The sharp slap he delivers the the insides of each thigh makes you jump, another twinge of emptiness running through you, but it's not for long as his longer fingers run across your folds to test your wetness, and he pulls them away with a satisfied grin at how drenched the digits are.

You don't get to see his cock, eyes too busy rolling back into your head as the tip parts your folds and his thumb massages slick circles against your clit, but the burn of the stretch tells you just how thick he is. He spreads you open slowly, fingertips digging bruisingly hard into the flesh of your hip while his eyes watch yours, heavily lidded. You struggle to take him all at first, and he draws back gently for a moment before pressing in again, and he quickly leans down to muffle his grunt into the swell of your breasts when he bottoms out inside you.

“O-Oh!” The first thrust of his hips pushes his tip directly into your gspot, and your fingers loop into his nape while you lean up to press your parted lips against his jaw, and he turns his chin to meet them with his own, answering your gasp with a quiet groan. His hips quicken the easier the glide into your core becomes, and soon the light slapping of his hips meeting yours is echoing concerningly loud around the room, but neither of you are capable of caring.

He lifts himself higher onto the bench, hand releasing your hip to hold himself up with his forearm pressed beside you, and his thumb releases your clit to do the same on your other side, hands gliding under your shoulder blades to tangle in your hair. The new angle presses his tip even harder against the best spots and when he rests his weight against you and circles his hips, he's grinding heavily against your clit.

Every moan that his movements pull from you is swallowed by his tongue curling around yours, and when it gets hard to breathe he pulls back to latch his mouth onto your lower lip and suck the swollen flesh until he almost tastes the metallic tang of blood. The little quirks of pain, his teeth in your lip and his fingers tugging on your hair, intensify the pleasure and you're hurtling embarrassingly fast towards your orgasm.

“So–fucking–tight.” Each word is enunciated with a lift and drop of his hips, and your battered clit throbs while your walls flutter even tighter, and he mutters a swear as he pulls himself back up onto palms flat at your sides, maintaining his angle. “Feel that sweetheart? You're gonna cum for me.”

“Pleas–fuck!” He moves too quickly for your hazy mind to keep up with, pulling out of you and tugging you off the bench and onto shaky legs. He doesn't let you fall though, firm hands on your waist when he spins you and presses you forwards on your forearms, stomach sticking to the leather and hips digging almost painfully into the edge of the bench. He towers over you like this, hands holding your waist steady as he realigns with your entrance and thrusts back inside you hard, and your toes curl in mid air where they can't reach the floor.

“Give it to me. Cum on my cock, sweetheart. Feels good?” You're barely coherent enough to understand his words let alone speak, but he's not satisfied until you reply. Both hands release your waist to grab you, one gently finding your throat and the other twisting hard into the roots of your hair and pulling you up into a hard arch. “Answer me!”

“Fuck–so good! I'm–I can't, I'm gonna cum–ah!” The hand in your hair quickly moves to cover your mouth as you start to peak with your release, and the fingers on your throat splay across your chest to take a handful of your breast while he holds you up with ease.

“Good girl, that's it.” The way he has your back arched presses your clit against the firm leather of the bed, and you whimper as your eyes start to roll back, the quick thrusting of his hips rubbing you hard enough to chafe your hipbones. He catches every moan, cry and whimper as you cum, mouth pressed against your shoulder as he pants and grunts against your skin.

Your orgasm is blinding, arms and legs numb, and you can feel yourself going lax in his arms while you come down from the pleasure. He doesn't ease up the moving of his hips very much but he does gently lower you back onto the bench, hands massaging down from the tops of your shoulders to the middle of your back where it had been strained the most, and you moan gently into the leather when his thumb rolls the tired muscles soothingly.

“Cum in me.” His breath hitches against your spine, frozen where he'd leant down to press a kiss to your back in apology, and you can feel the swell his cock gives at the suggestion. You don't know where it'd come from, the sudden craving, but something deep within craved the heat of his release filling your core, and your walls clenched at the idea.

“W-What?” His thrusts resume slowly, but it's the first time you'd heard a level of unsurety in his voice. “Really?”

“Please.” Nodding eagerly, you arch your back to press your hips against his, and he exhales heavily before picking up the pace once more. “I-Inside, want it–hnng!”

“Yeah? Want me to fill you up, hm? Greedy little thing.” His voice is composed even as his hips start to stutter, and his hands squeeze you tight as he slowly loses control. “Ask me! Ask for my cum!”

“Fuck–cum in me! Fill up my greedy pussy, make it yours–please!” His teeth find the flesh of your back but your whimper at the pain is quickly overruled but the gasp you release as the first shot of his cum is pushed deep inside your walls.

He's groaning as quietly as he can, chest heaving and sweat dripping down his jaw to land on your back as he nuzzles your abused skin gently and slowly grinds into you, the last spurts of his cum hot and thick inside you. And he makes sure to lean back, eyes keen as they watch his own length slip from between your folds, only a drop of release managing to follow him. The rest was still deep inside, ready to slowly glide out later and remind you just where he'd been.

“Shit.” He puffs, hands gently massaging your lower back still before he presses a kiss to the back of your head and steps away to retrieve tissues from his desk. Gentle and methodic, he tidies the both of you as best he can and helps you back into your leggings and one sock, chuckling softly at your exhaustion as you flop back onto the bench, still too fucked out to move too much yet. “Your back okay?”

“I might need a repeat appointment Dr. Jung. Unless you intend to bend my back out of shape a second time.” He grins, straightening his clothes and standing between your parted thighs as you push yourself to sit up. He holds you there, fingertips dipped into the curve of your spine as he presses your lips to his one more time.

“I have a private studio at home, if that suits your work schedule better? And call me Hoseok.” You giggle as he nips your lower lip, holding onto his slacks waistband as he leans against you.

“Then I guess you can adjust my back afterwards next time, right Hoseok?” His thumbs dip into your sides and he laughs when you wriggle away slightly.

“Sounds perfect.”

#hoseok smut #bts smut #hoseok scenarios #hoseok imagines #hoseok one shots #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts one shots #this was really random lol #i like watching chiropractic vids on youtube #and when the question of who would suit the role best came up?#guess whooo #haha #hope you guys enjoy!

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captain-kingliamsqueen · 6 years ago

Text

Goodnight, My Little One (Then There Were Three Part 4) Liam x MC

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Summary: Will Liam and Riley make it out of the safe room?...

Word Count: 2,117

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An hour…they had been in the safe room for an hour. Liam had persuaded Riley to lie down on the sofa, to try and calm herself down. whilst Riley rested, Liam sat at the security desk across the room, looking through the live CCTV footage to see what was happening. He watched over each individual screen, one by one.

Once he moved on to the screen showing the hallway outside of their quarters …he seen him.

“shit” he mumbled

“what is it?” Riley and madeleine asked simultaneously

“nothing don’t worry about it” he replied nervously

“Liam” Riley sighed as she stood up from the sofa and made her way over to her husband “I am your wife…don’t try and lie to me…it won’t work, it’s obviously something…now what- I-is that outside our quarters?” she panicked, Liam hesitated before answering “Liam! I swear to god…if you don’t answer me!”

“yes…he’s outside our quarters.”

“oh my god, Liam...”

“shhh it’s alright, sweetie…it’s going to be alright!” Liam stood from his seat and wrapped his arms around Riley.

“you don’t know that, Liam” she cried, her tears soaking his shirt.

“hey…look at me” he whispered as he gently placed his fingers on her chin and guided her, to look at him. “I am going to do my darn best to keep you and our daughter safe…if I can’t I will die trying!”

“what if he finds us though Liam…what if h-”

“hey…we are in the safest place we can be…this room, isn’t on blue prints…the only people that know about this room are me, you, security, Regina, my father and madeleine…that’s it… madeleine didn’t even know about it until Bastian told her to inform us that we had to come here…nobody knows about it…the only way he will know this room is here…is if he stumbles upon the lock…even if he got the main security door in the closet unlocked…that doesn’t mean he has found us…for all he knows that could be a lock to unlock the cabinet with your jewellery in it…he won’t have time to figure out it’s a lock to a door…Bastian will have got to him by then.” his hands gently ran up and down Riley's back. “take a deep breath” he whispered

“I love you, Liam” she sniffled

“I love too, sweetie”

Liam kept an eye on the computer screens, he watched as the man made his way into the royal quarters, quickly followed by Bastian, unbeknownst to the man. As soon as the doors shut…they were blind to what was happening. The three just had to hope that Bastian could stop the criminal before he got to them.

“do you need any water? Or something to eat? There are supplies in that closet” Liam asked Riley

“I could use some water, please” she whispered as she wiped at her eyes.

“alright, you go sit down and I’ll get you some water” Liam smiled softly, as he walked Riley over to the sofa, keeping her hand in his until she sat down.

“madeleine? Could I get you anything?”

“water would be lovely think you” she nodded curtly.

“hey…” madeleine took a seat next to Riley “why don’t we try and take our minds off it all…”

“o-okay” Riley nodded

“have you thought of any names for the baby?” madeleine smiled as she gently placed her hand on top of Riley's trying to comfort her.

“Mhmmm…we have one or two” Riley replied as Liam walked back over, handing the two ladies a bottle of water each. They both thanked him then carried on as he headed over to the weaponry on the wall.

“you do? What are they?”

“Luna and Gracie”

“I like Luna” Madeleine squeezed Riley's hand.

“Princess Luna…I like it” Riley smiled as she placed her free hand on her stomach.

“is it a girl your having? Did you find out?”

“yeah, we found out this morning, we’re having a little girl”

“that’s amazing, congratulations”

“thank you”

“is she kicking a lot?”

“oh yeah, she is very much playing football with my insides” Riley chuckled

“really?” madeleine giggled

“yeah, she’s a ball of energy today” she smirked

As madeleine continued to distract Riley, Liam looked over each weapon, deciding what to use…the sword, the knife, the dagger, the mace, the flail or the axe. Either one would do significant harm. Everyone was startled by a loud bang, they all looked towards the door full of panic. Liam quickly grabbed the dagger, the knife and mace. He handed Riley the dagger, the knife to madeleine then he kept the mace.

“quickly both of you, get behind that wall…now!”

“Liam…you can’t-”

“Riley, I am not going to argue…get behind the damn wall!” Riley huffed then followed madeleine behind the wall, the two held their weapons close, whilst Liam stood beside the door, his back against the wall, waiting what was to come, ready to fight whoever came through the door.

The whole room was silent, then they heard three loud knocks. Then the door opened, as the door opened Liam swung the mace out towards the intruder. To his surprise the weapon didn’t get as far as hitting the body that had entered, before it managed to hit anyone a hand caught it in its grip.

“Bastian!” Liam called as he seen his head bodyguard just stopping the mace from hitting him in the face.

“I knocked to let you know it was me!”

“we heard a bang, we thought he had gotten through the doors.”

“are you joking? The idiot couldn’t even figure out where the switch was in the closet” Bastian smirked “he’s in custody, your Majesty…the palace is safe.” Riley and madeleine walked over to Bastian and Liam.

“you’ve got him?” Riley asked

“Yes, Your Majesty…he’s with the kings Guard, you don’t have to worry”

“thank you, Bastian!” she thanked him.

The four of them made their way back towards Riley and Liam's apartment. Once reaching the apartment Bastian and Madeleine left the king and queen in peace.

“Liam” Riley whispered from her seat on the sofa, where she had been sitting in silence

“yeah?” he asked as he placed the cup of tea he had made for her, on the coffee table.

“I’m Scared…” she sniffled as he sat down beside her, placing his hand on top of hers.

“talk to me sweetheart” he whispered

“what if it happens again Liam…this little girl…she’ll be so vulnerable when she’s born Liam…how are we going to protect her, if it happens again…”

“hey, listen, our daughter, will always have a member of security with her. If one of us aren’t with her, someone we trust, will be. Our daughter, will never be left alone, she will always have someone to keep her safe. You and I, we will keep her as safe as we possibly can sweetheart”

“I can’t help but worry” she whispered

“I know sweetheart, me too.” he replied as he moved over, wrapping Riley in his arms as he placed a kiss on her head.

“we’ll be alright” he whispered

By the time Riley's 26-week mark came, she was well and truly, pregnant…Liam had arranged for her responsibilities to decrease. He was taking on more of her meetings, allowing her as much rest as possible. Riley had been having a hard month so far, dealing with sleepless nights, feeling uncomfortable, some days she would wake and be full of energy, others she didn’t want to move from bed, from how tired she was.

Today was a good day, Liam wasn’t too busy with meetings meaning, Riley got to spend some time with him. The two were sitting in their private dining room, in the apartment, eating their lunch.

“how are you feeling today, sweetheart”

“great, I feel really good today”

“good, then maybe, you would like to join me…at the theatre, tonight?” Liam smirked knowing she was dying to get out, just the two of them.

“really? tonight?” she replied with a grin on her face

“yes tonight, we leave at seven thirty.”

“what are we going to see?”

“Annie”

“ooooh I loved that movie!”

“I know” Liam chuckled “how is my darling daughter doing today?”

“she’s sleeping”

“she’s been doing flips all morning, she’s been awake and jumping around since five this morning, she’s finally calmed down and went to sleep, but I’m sure she won’t stay that way for long, as soon as she realises you’re here with me, I guarantee she’ll be back at her backflips” she chuckled as she ate. Liam smirked as he pulled his seat out and stood to his feet, he made his way over to Riley, crouching to the floor, he gently lifted her top to reveal her bump, gently putting his palm on Riley's stomach, as he placed soft kisses on her belly.

“Liam, I swear, if you wake her up…you’d better sleep with one eye open” Riley smirked knowing exactly what would happen. She sat whilst waiting for the inevitable, gently running her hands through his hair. It was just moments later, that her daughter started using her insides as a punching back.

“you’re lucky I love you” she chuckled as she felt him laugh as he pressed a kiss to her skin.

“I love you too” he whispered with a soft smile.

After eating lunch Liam headed for his last meeting of the day. knowing she was going to be on her feet and walking around, Riley wanted to rest as much as possible, she spent the next hour or so browsing the web, looking for things they needed for the baby coming. It was five pm by the time Liam returned to the apartment.

“Riley…sweetheart…” Liam called as he headed for the bedroom. A soft smile fell upon his face, as he opened the door and seen his wife, sleeping…finally able to get some proper rest.

“Liam?” She mumbled

“yeah, it’s me sweetie, go back to sleep” he whispered as he approached the bed and kneeled beside her.

“but, I have to start getting ready-”

“shh it’s okay, go back to sleep, ill wake you in an hour”

After an hour or so, Liam awoke Riley, with a selection to food for dinner, before they had to start getting ready. By the time seven thirty cam, the two were just heading down to the car, Riley and Liam walked hand in hand down the hallway, as they headed down the stairs Riley's stumbled a little, Liam quickly wrapped his arm around her, stopping her from falling. “are you okay?” he asked full of concern. “yeah, ive just been a little wobbly today, she’s growing that much she’s throwing me off balance” she chuckled. The two made their way out to the car, then headed out for their night at the theatre.

They sat in the royal box, enjoying their evening, Riley sang along to her favourite songs. Liam had his hand gently placed on Riley's leg, with one of Riley's hands sitting comfortingly on top, he watched and listened in content at his wife’s voice, singing away, she may not have been the best singer, but he loved hearing her sing anyway. Riley chuckled as she placed her free hand on her bump.

“what is it?” Liam smirked

“she’s going crazy…I think she’s dancing” she laughed, Liam gently placed his hand on her stomach, then laughed “I think she likes it” he smirked

It was hitting ten o’clock when they got out of the theatre, they climbed straight into the car, and headed back to the palace. The two were in the car for a solid forty minutes. Riley sat cuddling into Liam, drifting in and out of sleep.

“don’t let me fall asleep” Riley mumbled, she could barely keep her eyes open.

“it’s alright, you can sleep, we’ll be home soon.”

Once they reached the palace, Liam helped Riley out of the car, and up to their apartment. Once they reached the bedroom, he helped her undress then get into bed. Because of how tired Riley was, she didn’t have the energy to arrange her pillows properly, she had a million of them, spread all about the bed, on to lean her back against, one to put between her knees, another to put under her stomach.

Liam gently put the pillows in their places, careful not to wake her. Once that was done, he placed the most gentle kiss on her head.

“thank you, Liam” Riley mumbled with a faint sleepy smile, she smirked tiredly then puckered her lips, causing Liam to chuckle, knowing exactly what she wanted. Liam leaned down and softly kissed her lips. “goodnight love” he whispered before moving to her stomach, he kissed her belly, then smiled “goodnight, my little one”

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theclearblues · 6 years ago

Text

Boy in the Street | Reporter!Tom

My entry in @spectacular-spiderboy and @yourtomwritings ‘s writing challenge!

Reporter!Tom and prompted by Dive by Ed Sheeran

Notes: I’ve rewritten this three times because I hated how cliche it seemed, hopefully this one turns out.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Language

I apologize if the keep reading tab doesn’t work on mobile.

“Holland, Michael Locus is in France with his family for a month-long holiday. I want you to fly down there and find out as much as you can. If you can write an exposé that actually does some exposing, I’ll give you a bonus and an extra week of paid vacation.”

Tom Holland pushed his wide-rimmed glasses up on his nose, his mind already processing all the information that his boss was giving him. He had thought of some ideas on how he would get some unknown facts on the billionaire from America.

“Uh, y-yes sir, I’ll book a flight right now,” he was overwhelmed with thoughts as he turned to the laptop on his desk and started typing into the browser when he paused, “would you happen to know where they’re staying in France?”

“Marseille.”

“O-okay, thank you for the lead, Mr. Waterford.”

After booking a non-stop flight to Marseille for that afternoon, Tom packed up his laptop and quickly biked home where he packed his bags.

He realized he hadn’t booked a returning flight, but shrugged it off because he had no idea how long he’d be there. He threw as many clothes as he could into his biggest suitcase, Tom called a taxi to drive him to the airport terminal.

+++

On the plane, Tom researched as much as he could on Michael Locus and his family:

He married Caroline Fellows in 1990 and he had two daughters; Clare in 1995 and Y/N in 1997. They had a beach house in Marseille and had an annual family getaway every summer, some years longer than others.

What Tom wanted to find out was any family secrets or scandals that Michael Locus carried around with him.

First, Tom figured he should go map out the neighbourhood that the Locus home was located.

When the plane landed and he had collected his suitcase, Tom’s phone rang from his pant pocket, “Hello?” he asked as he walked out of the terminal and waved down a taxi.

“Holland, I’ve invested into your exposé and rented you a small beach house down the street from the Locus’.”

‘Holy, how much did that cost, Mr. Waterford?” Tom began to sweat nervously, it seemed the pressure from his boss snowballed the more time he spent following the lead.

“Never mind, I know you’ll make it all up,” Waterford hung up, leaving Tom to stress about the expectations his employer had set for him.

Waterford texted him the address of the house, and Tom showed it to the cab driver, the man nodded and drove the reporter to the front door of the pale yellow house. There were large windows all around the house and from the road, Tom could tell the house sported amazing views of the blue mediterranean.

After throwing his bags, laptop and glasses in the master bedroom, Tom decided to go on a walk down the street to where the Locus family was staying. The further he walked down the street, the bigger and fancier the houses got.

The house that was associated with Michael Locus was a large white mansion.

Who needs a vacation home the size of a mansion? Tom thought to himself.

Before he could create a new thought, something smacked him on the side of the head. He was knocked over into the street and he felt the soft skin of his palms tear against the rough pavement.

“Oh my god, Y/N! Look at what you did!”

“Ah, shit,” Y/n cursed as she jogged over to where Tom was recovering on the ground, “i’m so sorry, I haven’t kicked the ball around in so long and I have no idea what I’m doing. Are you okay?” she rambled, holding her hand out for him to grab. She noticed his hands were bleeding, “oh no, you’re bleeding. Um, here, come inside and I’ll get you a bandaid.”

Tom was lost in her eyes as she spoke, her hair waved with the sea breeze and her hands were soft as she helped him up on to his feet. She wore jean shorts and a white flowing top. The top half of her was pulled back into a braid while the rest fell onto her shoulders.

“Clare, oh my god. How hard did I hit him?” Y/N exclaimed when she didn’t hear a response from the man standing in front of her, “I’m such an idiot he probably doesn’t speak English, we’re in France. Bonjour, monsieur-”

“O-oh, no, I’m okay I’m just a bit scraped up,” Tom said as he shook the haze from his eyes and tried to stop staring at Y/N. He rubbed his palms on his jeans, but then winced as he remembered the raw skin on the heels.

“Please, come in. I feel so awful.”

At that moment Tom wasn’t thinking of his exposé, he just wanted to know everything there was to know about Y/N Locus and how he could make her the happiest girl in the world.

+++

“Sit here, I just have to grab the bandaids,” she pulled out a stool from under the kitchen island and left the kitchen. The house was immaculate, and outfitted in white and with green succulents. The kitchen was white marble and light fixtures hung from the ceiling, between them green vines were hung from pots.

Suddenly, Tom was aware of where he was and why he was in Marseille in the first place. he got up from the stool and walked around the house, trying to find the office if there was one.

Behind the kitchen was a living room and from there, there were sliding doors that led to Michael Locus’ office. His computer was open on his desk, Tom knew he had to work fast. He pulled a USB from his side bag that he carried with him everywhere, and plugged it into the computer. he quickly uploaded all the files and then snuck out of the office and into the kitchen again.

“Okay, hold out your hand. This will probably sting,” Y/N warned him as she dabbed disinfectant on the palms of his hands. He winced as the liquid seeped into his raw skin.

“Sorry, sorry.” she stuck large bandaids over them, then looked up at him, “again, sorry for hitting you with the soccer ball and sorry for dousing you with disinfectant.”

“No, it’s fine,” he smiled at her, “I’m okay, and I got to meet a really pretty girl.”

Tom didn’t know why he said that, he was feeling confident after getting information from Locus’ computer.

Y/n blushed as she gathered up all the garbage from the bandaids. Caroline Locus walked into the kitchen and saw Tom sitting at the island, “well, hello there.”

“Oh, Mom. This is-”

“Tom, Tom Holland.”

“Yeah, Tom. I-uh- I hit him in the head with the soccer ball and he got a bit scraped up,” Y/n tucked her hair behind her ear as she explained how they met.

“Well, Tom, I’m sorry about that, I’m Caroline,” Caroline laughed, “would you like to stay for dinner? If you don’t have anyone waiting for you.”

“Oh, um, sure. I mean, of course, I’d love to,” Tom grinned. He realized the Locus’ were extremely friendly and kind, it made it so much harder to justify why he just made copies of all Michael Locus’ documents.

Caroline left the kitchen and went upstairs, Tom glanced across the island and suddenly Y/N burst into a fit of giggles. Tom couldn’t help but join in, “quite a way to meet, eh?”

Y/N nodded between giggles

+++

During dinner Michael, Caroline, Grace and Y/N all laughed and enjoyed themselves, Michael even offered Tom some wine.

It was nine o’clock and the sun had finally set on the Mediterranean, “well, I should probably head home, it’s been lovely and I hope I see you all soon.”

“Let me walk you home, I wouldn’t want anyone to hit you in the head with a soccer ball or anything,” Y/n spoke up as Tom was heading for the door. Michael, Caroline and Grace all said their goodbyes, and Tom and Y/n were out the door.

“I’m sorry, they can be a lot sometimes,” Y/N apologized.

“What do you mean? Your family is lovely, I had a really good time,” Tom looked over his shoulder to smile at her as he spoke.

“You’re a really nice guy, Tom.” Y/N spoke quietly as they walked.

“You’re a really nice girl, Y/N.” Tom smirked, butterflies in his chest as he spoke.

She was looking down at her feet and she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “well, this is me.” Tom stopped her as they reached the pale yellow house he was staying in.

“Oh, um, okay. Well see you around?”

Tom nodded as he stepped up onto his front patio, Y/N turned and took a step away from him when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into him, “come see me, tomorrow. Anytime, it doesn’t matter to me.” He smiled down at her as she leaned into his chest, her small arms wrapping around his chiseled torso.

“Okay.”

+++

Maybe I played my cards wrong, oh, just a little bit wrong.

By the next day, Tom had gone through all the documents he copied from Michael’s computer, despite how guilty it made him feel. There was nothing exposé worthy whatsoever. The man donated to charities and all his money was clean and accounted for, Tom was frustrated but he couldn’t see the kind and generous Michael Locus dealing with dirty money.

Baby I apologize for it.

When Y/N came over at noon, they went down to the beach and jumped off the pier. They tried making a sand castle but without any shovels or buckets it just looked like a pile of wet sand. At sunset, Y/N invited Tom over for dinner again, but he declined and said he didn’t want to overstay his welcome. She nodded, and told him to come see her the next day, anytime.

And that was exactly what he planned to do. She caused butterflies in his chest, and she made him stutter over the words he’d rehearsed in his head. She made him want more than his simple life, he wanted a life with her.

+++

I could fall, or I could fly Here in your aeroplane And I could live, I could die Hanging on the words you say And I’ve been known to give my all And jumping in harder than Ten thousand rocks on the lake

For about two weeks Tom and Y/N continuously met up at each other’s vacation homes. They’d go to the peach, or the pier or even into town for dinner. Tom was falling for her hard, and he could only hope she felt the same.

Tom tapped on the door of the Locus house, and he heard Clare walk over and open the door for him, “Y/N will be done in a second, she was just in the shower. Can you tell her I’m going into town?”

“Yep.”

Clare slid past him and climbed into the driver’s seat of a black Audi in the driveway. Tom walked into the house and shut the door behind him. He decided to walk around the house as he waited. The house was large, the main floor consisted of the kitchen, living room, dining area, Michael’s office, a side parlour and a private theatre.

Tom wanted to see what a vacation home’s private theatre looked like, so he lightly pushed the door open and walked into the wide room. He saw a door on the other side that led outside, as a faint shimmer of sunlight danced on the carpet floor. Instead of singular seats like at a public cinema, there were couches on different levels.

Tom’s eyes widened when he saw Caroline Locus on the couch with a blonde haired man, most definitely not Michael Locus’ brown hair. Her hands were in his hair as he held her hips close to his. Tom silently slipped out of the theatre and back into the kitchen, where Y/N was waiting for him.

“Tom? Are you alright you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she laughed as she observed him.

“Um, let’s go outside.”

Tom led her out into the street, and they walked.

“I need to be honest with you, about how I feel and who I am, okay? I don’t want to hide anything from you.” He grabbed her hand as he walked, and she laced her fingers through his.

“You know I’m from London, but you don’t know that I’m a reporter for a news agency. My boss, sent me down here, to Marseille, to write an exposé on your father. And at first that’s all I planned to do,” her grip on his hand became loose and she tried to pull away, he stopped and grabbed her other hand as he turned her to face him, “but then, you hit me in the head with a soccer ball and all I wanted to do was write about how much happiness you bring me.”

You’re a mystery I have travelled the world, there’s no other girl like you No one, what’s your history? Do you have a tendency to lead some people on?

He paused and let her think, “I didn’t want to say anything about this or my feelings because i thought you’d hate me or you wouldn’t feel the same about me. I’ve only known you for two weeks, but Y/N, I love you. I want to spend my life writing about you, from first hand experience. In retrospect, I don’t know a bloody thing about you, you’re a mystery to me. For all I know, you lure young European men into loving you like it’s a hobby, but I don’t care. I hope you make it a goddamn career, if it means you’ll keep stringing me along.” Tom was breathless after he finished his speech, Y/n was silent as she stared up at him.

“I love you,” she said as she snaked her arms around his neck and tipped her chin up to meet his lips. Her lips were soft and she tasted like vanilla, her eyes fluttered shut and so did Tom’s, he pulled her body into his.

Quickly, she pulled away, “wait a second, why are you telling me all of this right now?”

God she was smart, Tom thought.

“Y/N,” he didn’t want to tell her, but she deserved to know.

“Thomas Holland, I swear to-”

“Okay,” he interrupted her, “just don’t do anything brash, alright?”

She nodded as she waited for him to continue. Tom explained everything he saw in the private theatre, it pained him to keep going as he saw the tears fill up her eyes, “it’s fucking, Gill. From the next road over, God, I knew it. I knew it, Tom.”

He pulled her into his chest, her tears soaking the front of his shirt, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

She looked up from his chest and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, “Oh, God. You’re going to use this in your fucking exposé aren’t you?” She shoved his shoulders, stepping away from him. Her face turning red with anger, “you’re sick, Tom.”

Before I dive right in to you.

“No, no I wouldn’t do that to you, to your family.” Tom reached for her, but she was already walking away, “Y/N! You have to believe me!”

“Why wouldn’t you use it, Tom? You’d get a nice bonus, some more prestige in the office,” she was upset and angry, it was wet anger. Tears streamed down her face and her voice caught in her throat as she yelled at him.

Before I dive right in to you.

“Because I love you, goddamnit! I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you,” Tom pleaded, salty tears slipping from his eyes and into his mouth. His face blotchy as emotions rose from his chest to his head.

“Tom, I just-” she paused as she rubbed her face and tucked her hair behind her ears, “I just need to figure this out, I can’t do this with you.”

She turned and marched back to her house, leaving Tom with the bitterness of his tears corrupting his mouth, and the tight fists he held clenched at his chest. He watched her walk away and slam the door behind her, never looking back on the broken boy in the street.

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