#Number 1) He’s old enough to not be a fucking asshole. I get kids can be annoying but he’s just awful

[pop-r0ckz]

does y’all’s brothers get so bad you wanna

[serenelystrange]

At AO3, or under the cut!

Notes:

No canon, only vibes. Silly but hopefully heartwarming vibes!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“It’s just porn,” Eddie says to himself as he slams the lid of his laptop down and looks around his bedroom furtively. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

He stares down at the mess he’s made of his boxers, not even having managed to get a hand around himself before he’d come, and sighs.

“Nothing at all.”

By the time Chris gets home from Robotics Club, Eddie is showered, and the kitchen is cleaner than it’s been since the day they moved in, but he’s still filled with anxious energy. He’s scouring the already pristine stovetop when Chris manages to sneak up on him.

“Why are you scrubbing the stove?” he asks, making Eddie jump and drop the scouring pad in surprise. “We barely even use it.”

“Shit,” Eddie says. “When did you get home?”

“Swear jar!” Chris teases him, even though it’s been years since Eddie has bothered with the thing.

“Ha ha,” Eddie deadpans, before crossing the room to pull Chris into a hug. “Missed you. How was robot class?”

Chris pats his back awkwardly, firmly in the ‘too cool to hug his dad’ phase of life, and wriggles until Eddie releases him.

“It was fine,” Chris says, pausing just long enough that Eddie knows it definitely wasn’t fine. “What’s up, kid?” Eddie asks, leading Chris to the couch so he can take a break from his crutches and sit down.

“I really wanted to go to Jenny’s birthday party,” Chris says after a few minutes of stubborn silence sitting side by side.

Eddie turns to look at him and frowns.

“Does Jenny not like you or something? I thought all the kids in the club were pretty cool.”

“Jenny is the coolest,” Chris says, sighing, and Eddie has to fight the urge not to laugh at the tribulations of young crushes.

“Then what’s the problem?” Eddie asks.

Chris looks down at his knees, glasses slipping over his nose, before answering.

“Her mom said I couldn’t come because it’s a pool party and she didn’t want “a liability” there,” he says in a small voice.

“What the fuck,” Eddie says.

“That’s what I said!” Chris says, looking back up. “I mean, uh.. I said what the heck.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie says. “I mean, please don’t cuss at other adults, but this is definitely a what the fuck situation.”

“I told Jenny I could sit by the pool while they swam,” Chris says. “I’ll even wear the stupid floaties that I hate. But her mom wouldn’t even let her talk. She just told me I needed to have ‘more reasonable expectations’ and dragged Jenny away.”

Eddie always thought the phrase “seeing red” was an exaggeration, but hearing the casual cruelty a grown woman had thrown at his thirteen year old is enough for the blood to rush in his ears so loudly that he fears for a moment that he might blink and have her face under his knuckles.

“Ok,” Eddie says, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. “Do you have this lady’s phone number? We need to have a chat.”

Chris groans.

“Nooo,” he says. “I don’t want you talk to her. She still won’t let me come to the party and then Jenny will be weird to me, too.”

“Mijo, I can’t just let her say shit like that to you and not say anything,” Eddie says. “She can’t just be such a c… crappy person, and expect everyone to be fine with that.”

“Please, dad,” Chris says, giving Eddie his saddest eyes. “Can you at least wait until after the party?”

“Fine,” Eddie begrudgingly says. “But I’m not happy about it.”

“I know,” Chris says. “I guess I have to get used to people like her, though.” He shrugs as he says it, trying to look unaffected, but Eddie knows his son.

“No, you don’t,” he says, firmly. “There are always going to be assholes who look at you and only see your condition, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. Never allow someone to treat you like that, ok? I don’t care if you’re 40 years old, if you need me to fight with you, all you have to do is tell me where to be.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Chris huffs, but he gives Eddie a watery smile. “Thanks.”

“That’s my job, bud,” Eddie says. “Now decide what you want for dinner before I make you hug me again.”

“Oh!” Chris says, “I forgot to ask. Can I go over to Ben’s for the night? His parents said they don’t mind as long as you’re ok with it, and they’re making homemade raviolis!”

“Have I met them?” Eddie asks. “I don’t want you spending the night with people I’ve never met.”

“You can meet them when you drop me off?” Chris says, “please?”

Eddie sighs, already knowing he’s going to give in.

“Ok, ok,” he says. “Go get your stuff ready, I’ll drop you off. But if I think they’re weird, we’re turning right back around.”

“Yes!” Chris says, grinning and actually letting Eddie help him up off the couch without complaint for once.

Eddie just rolls his eyes fondly. Teenagers.

When Eddie drives up to the nice but not ostentatious house the GPS leads him to, he’s surprised to see Ben waiting for Chris in front of it, flanked by a middle aged man on both sides.

“Ben has two dads?” Eddie asks as they park. “I didn’t know that.”

Chris shrugs.

“I guess,” he says. “Are you gonna be weird about it?”

“Why would I be weird about it?” Eddie asks, frowning slightly. “Do you think I’ll be weird about it?”

“Abuelo..” Chris says hesitantly.

Eddie groans. Damn his father and his old-school homophobic attitude.

“Abuelo shouldn’t be spewing bullshit around you,” Eddie says. “We know better, right?”

“Right,” Chris agrees, “now can we goooo?”

They finally make their way to the little group and Eddie offers a friendly smile as they reach them.

“I’m Eddie,” he says, “Chris kinda sprung this sleepover on me, so I figured I should at least come say hello.”

“Anton,” the tall man with icy blue eyes says, before tilting his head towards the other man. “That’s my darling husband Jake. Who also didn’t tell me we were having a guest.”

“Daaad,” Ben whines. “Don’t scare Chris’ dad.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie says with amusement. “I’d be more worried if your dads weren’t hesitant to have a surprise extra kid.”

“See?” Jake says, “it’s all good. Eddie doesn’t seem like a serial killer, and we already know Christopher.”

“I suppose we do always make way too many raviolis,” Anton says, giving his husband a fond look. “Fine. Sleepover allowed! But you boys have to be asleep by 11, ok?”

Eddie snorts before he can help it.

“I have to at least try,” Anton says drolly. “Even though I know it’s a losing battle.”

“Can we go play x-box now?” Ben asks, bored of the conversation.

His dads waves him off, and he heads towards the house, Chris hesitating for a moment and looking at Eddie.  

“Have fun, kid,” Eddie says. “Be good. If you want to come home at any point, you just call me, ok? Otherwise I’ll come get you around 10 tomorrow if that’s ok with Ben’s dads.”

“That’s fine,” Jake says, “our plans tomorrow are football and snacks, we’ll be around.”

Eddie tamps down on the surprise his dumb brain has at the idea of gay men enjoying football just like straight men do. He really needs to work on unlearning so much from his childhood.

“Ok, bye dad!” Chris says, shuffling off after Ben as quickly as he can, leaving Eddie with the dads.

“I’ll let you get back to your ravioli,” he says. “Chris obviously has my number if anything comes up.”

He gives a little half wave and starts to turn around, before Anton stops him.

“Would you like to have dinner with us?” he asks, to the apparent shock of Jake, if his wide eyes are any indication.

“Sorry,” Jake says, smoothing out his expression. “He just doesn’t usually invite people to dinner of his accord.”

“The poor boy looks like he needs a friend,” Anton says, shrugging. “I’m allowed to be nice.”

“It’s really ok,” Eddie says, wondering how Anton managed to sniff out his loneliness with apparent ease. “I won’t intrude. Chris would probably think I’m embarrassing him anyway, and he already barely puts up with my affection.”

“Our oldest was like that, too,” Jake says. “He’s 20 now and has come full circle. Seeks out hugs and everything. Chris will come around eventually.”

“Benny has always been a cuddle-bug,” Anton adds, and Eddie has to stifle his delight at the intimidating looking man saying the words cuddle-bug.

“Well, there you go,” Jake says, “have another kid. Unlimited cuddles!”

Eddie laughs.

“I’ll get right on that.”

“Sure you won’t join us?” Anton asks, and Eddie shakes his head.

“I appreciate it though,” he says. “Maybe the next sleepover, if Chris doesn’t drive you nuts.”

“We’ll pack you up some leftovers, then,” Anton decides, reaching out to clap Eddie on the shoulder before spinning around and heading towards the house.

“Nice to meet you,” Jake says, warmly. “You get used to him.”

“You too,” Eddie says, shaking Jake’s hand and then heading back to his car.

He thinks about the interaction the entire ride home, about how the men weren’t anything like the stereotypical gay men he’s been taught to expect. About how even though they hadn’t even touched, the warm fondness between them was as apparent as any happy couple Eddie had known. About how it had all just seemed so…normal.

Cursing his childhood indoctrination once again, Eddie shakes his head of the thoughts and focuses on the road.

The problem with suddenly having the night unexpectedly free is that now the laptop Eddie had fled from earlier seems to be mocking him from its place on his bed.

“Nope,” he says, pointing at it. “That was just a weird fluke. I didn’t even know what I was clicking on.”

He groans to himself, feeling crazy. He’s talking out loud to a laptop for heaven’s sake.

The laptop, predictably, says nothing.

“I was just pent up,” he mutters. “It’s not my fault there didn’t happen to be any women in the video.” “God, Anton was right,” he says, “I really do need more friends. Instead of talking to a fucking laptop.”

He considers calling Chim or Hen, or even Bobby, but nixes that idea almost as quickly as he has it. No way is he telling anyone on his team about his weird accidental porn adventure that has spurned an entire internal breakdown.

“I know,” Eddie says suddenly. “I just need to prove it was a fluke!” He paces around the room before heading towards his bed with determination. “I’ll just watch another video, and nothing will happen, and then I can be done with it. And hopefully stop talking to myself.”

Eddie pulls back up the website he’d been on and purposely chooses the first video he sees under the Gay section, sticking his crappy wired headphones in, just in case.

“This will be fine,” he says, as the first man comes into view.  Eddie gulps.

The actor is handsome, Eddie supposes, in a kind of douchebag bro way. He’s sitting on an ugly couch, legs spread wide, and wearing nothing but a backwards baseball cap and a pair of snug boxer-briefs. The camera zooms in on his hand as he rubs his bulge slowly, clearly more for show than anything. Eddie watches silently as another man enters the scene and immediately crawls into the first mans lap and kisses him. This one is fully nude already, dick hard against his belly, and Eddie is almost instantly just as hard.

The scene changes then, and suddenly the men are full-on fucking, the second man bent over the ugly couch with the first one pounding into his, still wearing the stupid baseball cap. Eddie watches, enthralled, not noticing the video is coming to an end until it goes black and then flashes with a message that says “See Full Video Here!”.

He’s clicking on the link before he can even think about it, and is brought to a fancy looking but definitely still extremely pornographic site filled with pictures and clips of men fucking.

FREE TRIAL beckons him from a little pop up on the corner, and Eddie thinks with slight hysteria that he’s never been one to pass up a free trial. He enters his credit card information by memory, giving the terms and conditions only a cursory glance before he accepts them and the page lets him click on the video he’d be watching again.

An hour and so many impossible looking positions later, Eddie’s abdomen actually hurts from coming so hard and so many times in quick succession, and he’s pretty sure he needs to burn his sheets.

“Fuck,” he says when he finally shuts the computer down.

It was definitely not a fluke.

The next month is a special kind of hell for Eddie. He finds himself in a vicious cycle of jerking off to the videos whenever he has the house to himself and then spending the next few days wracked with guilt and shame. What’s worse is now that he’s realized that he finds men attractive, it’s like he can’t noticing them.

“Hey, handsome,” a twenty-something guy says to him as Eddie wraps up his busted ankle. “If I knew they’d send their hottest firefighters, I would’ve fallen down the stairs sooner.”

From a few feet away, Hen laughs, but keeps her focus on the other man who had tumbled down the stairs thanks to bad timing and a minor earthquake.

“Uh,” Eddie says, freezing. He’s been hit on before, by people of all genders, and he’s never had a problem just laughing and moving on until now.

“That was a joke, by the way,” the guy says, giving Eddie a concerned look. “Well, not the hot part. But I assume you own a mirror. I definitely didn’t fall down the stairs on purpose.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says, “just spaced out for a minute. You should be ok, but you should follow up with a doctor if the swelling doesn’t go down by tomorrow.”

“You can have my number if you want,” the guy says, giving Eddie a hopeful look. “If you want to check up on me or something…”

“Oh, bud,” Chim laughs, coming up to stand by where Eddie is crouched. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. Eddie here is straight as an arrow.”

The guy looks at Eddie for confirmation, and Eddie manages a shrug of what he hopes is agreement.

“Damn,” the guy says. “Well, thank you for patching me up, even if you are tragically heterosexual.”

Eddie laughs as he stands up and nods.

“No problem,” he says. “Use the handrails from now on, ok?”

He walks away before the guy can do more than nod, and they’re thankfully off to the next call before he can think too hard about how he had almost accepted the man’s offer.

It’s a long day.

When Eddie gets the reminder email that his free month of Holes 4 Bros is coming to an end, he breathes a sigh of relief. He can unsubscribe and hopefully take back some control of his life and his libido.

“No no no,” Eddie says, scrolling through his account and menu frantically. “Where’s the cancel button?”

When he finally finds the instructions to cancel, he feels the blood drain from his face. “Call our toll-free number to cancel your membership!” the website proclaims.

Eddie decides that maybe $50 a month isn’t really all that bad, actually. He’ll just have to work on better impulse control.

He lasts two more months before he realizes he really needs to cancel the membership. The novelty has worn off enough that now he only goes on the site a few times a month, and he just can’t justify the ongoing cost. On his next day off that Chris is at school, he steels himself, sits up against his headboard, and calls the 800 number.

“Thank you for calling Multimedia Missives,” a male voice answers after a few minutes, “my name is Buck, how can I assist you today?”

“I need to cancel my membership,” Eddie says, “to, um, to one of your websites.”

“Ok,” the guy says, before dropping his voice to less cheerful tone. “Can you confirm your name and last four of the card number?”

Eddie does, and the man takes a moment to go over the details before he hums.

“Alright, I have your account here. Looks like you’re signed up for our very popular Holes 4 Bros subscription. Can I ask why you’re ending your membership?”

Eddie hesitates, not wanting to dump his queer revelation trauma onto a perfect stranger.

“It’s just a little pricy,” he decides on. “Can’t really justify it anymore.”

“That’s understandable,” Buck says, murmuring sympathetically. “I see you’re based in Los Angeles, right? The cost of living is insane these days.”

“It really is,” Eddie sighs. “Plus, teenagers are expensive.”

“Uh,” Buck says, suddenly quiet.

“Oh god,” Eddie says, realizing how it had sounded. “Not for porn!” he explains. “I have a teenager, and he never stops eating or growing out of his shoes!”

“Oh,” the Buck says, sounding relieved. “Ok, good. And as a reminder, all of our models are at least twenty one years of age at time of filming.”

“That’s good,” Eddie says quickly, “great, even.”

“How about this,” Buck says, and Eddie hears rapid typing. “You keep the membership for the next month, but at the discounted price of $25.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie says, hesitantly. “I really don’t use it enough to be worth it.”

“If you change your mind within seven days, you can call back and get the month refunded,” Buck offers, and Eddie finds himself nodding along despite himself.

“Yeah, alright,” he says, shrugging. “But this is the last month. I’ll be calling back in 29 days to cancel.”

“Completely up to you,” Buck says, and Eddie swears he can hear the amused smirk in his voice. “We’ll be here.”

Eddie disconnects the call and stares at his closed laptop before sighing.

Might as well make the most of his day off.

“Thank you for calling Multimedia Missives,” a familiar voice answers, “my name is Buck, how can I assist you today?”

“Oh, hey,” Eddie says, cringing at himself. Of course this agent wont remember a man he spoke to a month ago. “I mean, hi. I think I got you last month.”

“I remember you,” Buck says, his chipper customer service voice dropping down into something more natural sounding. “You were the one with the kid who keeps growing out of shoes.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” Eddie says laughing. “He’s almost as tall as me now, it’s crazy.”

“Oh yeah?” Buck says, like he’s genuinely interested. “Well I guess that’s actually only impressive if you’re not like, super short.”

“What, your little file doesn’t tell you my height?” Eddie cant help but tease, grinning when Buck laughs brightly.

“Nope,” he says. “I can probably suss out your kinks if I really tried, but it doesn’t tell me a thing about your actual being.”

“Oh god,” Eddie groans, “please don’t tell me you guys go through our video history for fun.”

“I mean…” Buck says, before laughing. “Don’t worry, we don’t have access to all of that. Just the billing.”

“Good,” Eddie says. “Not because I’m into anything weird, it’s just, I don’t know, personal I guess.”

“Nothing’s weird unless you make it weird,” Buck says, and Eddie is oddly soothed by it.

“Thanks,” he says. “I really need to cancel this membership though.”

“Do you now?” Buck asks coyly. “Seems like you’ve been enjoying yourself, I’d hate to see you go.”

And listen. Eddie knows it’s a sales tactic. All an act. But god damn it if he doesn’t enjoy the way Buck’s voice dips low and suggestive with the words.

“I do,” he says, trying his best to sound firm.

Buck hums thoughtfully and Eddie waits, wondering what offer he’ll pull out next.

“How would you feel about the next month being just $30,” Buck asks, “but with an additional included membership to our Gaily Matinee site. It’s mostly movie parodies, to be honest, but the production value is surprisingly good.”

“What kind of movies?” Eddie asks, unfortunately intrigued.

Buck chuckles warmly and Eddie accepts defeat.

“Some of our more popular titles include “Missionary Impossible, The Fast and the Furriest,” Buck says, “that one is a big hit with the bear community. And of course, for our history buffs, “Indiana Bones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull-Fucking.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie wheeze with laughter, “that last one cannot be real. You’re messing with me.”

“I assure you I am not,” Buck says with delight. Eddie wonders briefly if his smile is as pretty as it sounds.

“Alright,” Eddie says when he stops laughing, “you win this one. I need to see these stupid movies. I’ll take it.”

“Excellent,” Buck says.

He types some more and Eddie confirms none of his details have changed, and he’s about to hang up when Buck speaks again.

“I guess we’ll hear from you in 29 days?” he asks, and maybe Eddie is imagining it, but he swears the man sounds hopeful.

“Definitely,” Eddie says. “Before y’all bankrupt me in the name of high production values.”

Buck is still laughing as Eddie disconnects the call, and he thinks about the sound of it for the rest of the night.

“Ok,” Eddie says one weekend when Hen has him and Chimney over for brunch while Chris and Denny play video games. “If I tell you guys something, you need to promise not to make it weird.”

“Oh, now I need to know,” Karen says, settling down in her chair next to Hen and grinning over at Eddie.

Eddie sticks his tongue out at her and she returns the gesture along with two middle fingers raised at him.

“Love you, too,” Karen says, and Eddie huffs a laugh. He can never stay annoyed at her.

“Can you be cool?” Eddie asks, looking between Hen and Chim.

“As a cucumber,” Chim says, before taking a long sip of his mimosa. “Lay it on me.”

Eddie looks to Hen, who raises an eyebrow.

“Am I not always cool?”

“Fair enough,” Eddie says, before taking a deep breath to address the group.

“So,” he begins. “I’ve been doing a lot of, uh, learning these last few months. And I think. Well, no, I know, at least like 75% sure that I’m uh, gay. Actually like super gay, really.”

“Oh,” Chim says, looking relieved. “That’s all? I thought you were gonna tell us you were dying or something.”

“Only my soul, according to my parents,” Eddie jokes, and it only hurts a little bit.

“That’s some bullshit,” Karen says, giving him a stern look. “You’re perfectly made, just as you are. Whatever your sexuality. Your parents can kiss my ass, frankly.”

“Babe,” Hen says, laughing. “How many of those have you already had?”

“Don’t worry about my drinks, lover,” Karen says. “Reassure your friend you love him, he’s scared of losing you despite the fact that we’re literally lesbians.”

“How did you…” Eddie asks, incredulously.

“Lesbians know everything,” Karen says sagely, and Hen and Chim nod in agreement.

“I’m proud of you,” Hen says, reaching over the table and placing her hand on Eddie’s. “Seriously. I know how hard it can be to accept it, even after you’ve figured it out. Of course we still love you, you’re stuck with us forever, got it?”

“Got it,” Eddie says, throat tight with emotion.

“Cheers for Eddie!” Karen says, raising her mostly empty glass. They raise theirs to match and drink, and Eddie finally feels like he can breathe again.

“So, Eddie,” Chim says a little later. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Like a therapist?” Eddie asks, more than a little tipsy at this point.

Chim cracks up for a minute before shaking his head.

“No,” he says, “like a guy. A boyfriend, or partner, or whatever term you wanna use.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. His tipsy brain flashes to Buck’s warm laugh on the phone, and he flushes pink, hoping he can blame it on the alcohol.

“No,” he says, shrugging. “I think I just needed to figure this all out for myself first, you know?”

Chim nods, before clapping Eddie on the shoulder. “Smart man! Knowing thyself before throwing thyself.”

With that, he spins away in search of another mimosa and Eddie is left watching him with an amused smile. His friends are all ridiculous, but god he does love them.

Late that month, Eddie calls to cancel his membership, and even though he tries three different times, Buck doesn’t answer. Feeling slightly insane but doing it all the same, Eddie disconnects the call and accepts the fact that he’ll just pay whatever they charge him until the next month when he can try again.

The thing is, he actually rarely uses the site anymore. He’d come out to Chris shortly after his friends, and he’d accepted it without issue, as if Eddie had told him something as innocuous as his favorite color changing.

“You sure you don’t want to talk more about it?” Eddie had asked, and Chris had just shrugged.

“Lots of my friends have queer parents, dad,” he’d said. “It’s no big deal.”

He’d even allowed Eddie to hug him for an entire minute, and press exactly one kiss into his hair.

It was a good day.

Before he knows it, the month is almost at an end and Eddie finds himself calling Multimedia Missives once again.

“Thank you for calling Multimedia…” Buck’s voice appears, and he stops suddenly. “Oh hey, it’s you.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, before realizing he has no idea how to follow that up.

“I’m surprised you’re still subscribed,” Buck says, and Eddie can’t help but notice how tired he sounds.

“Yeah, well,” Eddie admits, “you didn’t answer, and I uh, I didn’t want to deal with anyone else, honestly.”

“Sorry,” Buck says, quietly.

“You ok, man?” Eddie asks before he can stop himself. “I can call back if you’re sick or something.”

“No,” Buck is quick to say, “I mean, don’t hang up, I’m ok. It’s just been a rough few weeks, is all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks.

“No,” Buck says firmly, before sighing. “Our calls are recorded,” he explains. “Thanks, though, that’s, um, that’s actually really nice of you.”

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie says, feeling at a loss. “I watched the Sherlock Holmes parody,” he says, trying to lighten the mood. “It really was surprisingly well done.”

Buck gives a little huff of a laugh at that, and Eddie grins.

“Shercock Hose?” Buck asks, and Eddie joins him in chuckling at the ridiculous title.

“Him living on 221 BBL Street was a nice touch,” Eddie muses, and Buck snorts.

“I’m glad you called,” he says after a moment of comfortable silence. “I know that sounds kinds of crazy, but our conversations have been one of the only bright spots in my life lately.”

“It’s not crazy,” Eddie says. “Or if it is, I’m crazy too. I’m the one that hung up on three other agents because they weren’t you. You know, this actually does sound of crazy, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Buck says, before pausing. “Can I ask you something? It might get me fired, but honestly that might be an improvement.”

“Go for it,” Eddie says.

“Tell me about you?” Buck asks. “Nothing too personal, but maybe what you look like? I can see your age, but that’s all it tells me.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, thinking. “Ok, sure I guess. I’m about 6 foot tall, brown hair and eyes. Kinda built, but for work, not like bodybuilder buff or anything. Nothing all that exciting, really. I’m really just some guy.”

“I knew you’d have brown eyes,” Buck says, and Eddie can definitely hear the smile now.

“Because my last name is Diaz?” Eddie laughs.

“No,” Buck says, and Eddie imagines him shrugging. “I don’t know, I just heard you talking and pictured these warm brown eyes. It was comforting. God, I’m being so weird, I’ll shut up now.”

“Don’t shut up,” Eddie says, “I don’t mind it. Will you tell me about you? It’s been driving me crazy not knowing, honestly.”

“I guess that’s only fair,” Buck says. “I’m a little taller than you, and a little younger. Blue eyes. People have different opinions on my hair color, but I guess it’s like light brown or dark blond. I’ve been working out lately, but I’m still kinda lanky. I’m working on it.”

“You’re perfectly made just as you are,” Eddie says, before groaning. “I’m sorry, that was so cringey. My friend said it to me when I came out to her, and I guess it just sounded like you needed to hear it.”

“Thanks,” Buck says, quietly, as if he’s unsure of what to do with kind words. Eddie sort of wants to punch his way through whoever made him feel unworthy of kindness.

“We should probably figure out what crazy compromise we’re gonna make this month for the videos, huh?” Eddie says, smiling softly when Buck gives a choked off little laugh.

“Actually,” Buck says. “I think that since we were obviously having some bad technical issues last month when you tried to call, you qualify for a month free, on us. We’re terribly sorry for the inconvenience.”

Eddie laughs.

“I was terribly inconvenienced, it’s true.”

“What do you do, anyway?” Buck asks, once he’s set up the free month. “You mentioned being built for work.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, debating lying for a moment, before shrugging. There’s millions of people in Los Angeles, after all. “I’m a firefighter,” he says.

“Of course you are,” Buck sighs wistfully. “And I bet you look so good in your uniform too. Do you wear those little suspenders?”

“I…” Eddie gets out before he hears scrambling and Buck’s voice flipping back to customer service friendly.

“Thank you for calling sir, have a great day!”

He disconnects before Eddie can protest, and he assumes Buck’s boss had gotten a little too close for them to continue their casual conversation. Smiling dopily at the phone in his hand, Eddie thinks about how he can hardly wait until next month.

“Alright guys,” Bobby calls out as they reach the scene of the smoking building. “So far the fire seems contained to the east section, and all of the employees are accounted for, but we need to do a walk through just in case. Eddie, Ravi, you’re on the hoses. Hen, Chim, do a sweep.”

The fire is contained and eliminated fairly easily once they actually get access, and the sweep assures them that the building has no stragglers. All in all, the employees got extremely lucky. There’s still a whole crowd of them watching from nearby, a few being treated for minor smoke inhalation, but Hen doesn’t seem worried, so Eddie isn’t worried.

It isn’t until he and Ravi are packing up the hoses that he notices the shiny black sign on the side of the building.

Multimedia Missives.

Eddie nearly drops the hose in shock, and Ravi gives him a concerned look.

“Sorry,” he says. “Just slipped.”

Ravi shrugs and nods, continuing his work, eager to get back to the station and finish their shift.

He tries not to look, but curiosity compels him, and Eddie takes a moment once he’s back on the ground to stare into the large crowd of employees. He’s not even sure what he’s looking for really, Buck’s description could be a thousand men, but he needs to try. He’s almost given up when he notices a man seemingly scanning the firefighters the way he is scanning the crowd.

Taking a step forward before he can stop him himself, Eddie meets the man’s gaze, and he just knows it must be Buck. The man grins widely, and moves like he is about to run over before remembering where they are, and that he absolutely cannot come any closer per orders.

“Let’s go, Diaz!” Bobby calls out from the truck, and Eddie grimaces. Before he turns around, he raises his hand in a wave to the man he’s almost positive is Buck and then extends his fingers to the classic “call me” gesture, bringing it up to his own ear and then pointing it towards him.

The man grins and nods, returning the gesture.

Eddie hops back into the truck, the rush of adrenaline coursing through him having nothing at all to do with the fire.

Despite his excitement, Eddie doesn’t have the chance or privacy to call the center until a few days later, but is relieved when Buck picks up the phone.

“Eddie, hey,” he says, not bothering with the customer service voice at all.

“Hey,” Eddie says, jumping right into it. “That was you, right? Tell me I didn’t imagine that.”

“Yeah,” Buck confirms. “They have us in a temporary building. Jesus, I can’t believe that was actually you!”

“Same,” Eddie says, brain fairly buzzing with the information. “I’m sorry I had to run, my Captain called me back.”

“It’s ok,” Buck says. “I was just glad to finally get to see you. Also, you said you’re nothing special? You are literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

“That can’t be true,” Eddie says, laughing. “But I’ll take it if it means you maybe want to go out with me some time?”

“Yes,” Buck says, immediately. “I really really do.”

“When do you get off work?” Eddie asks, knowing Chris will be going to Ben’s for a Friday sleepover after school.

“Six,” Buck says.

“You have my address in the system of yours?” Eddie asks.

“I do,” Buck says, repeating it off to him just to be sure.

“Good,” Eddie says. “Come over.”

He hangs up the phone before he loses his nerve and changes his mind, and only hopes that Buck understands. After all, he has a date to get ready for.

The doorbell rings right before 7 o’clock, and Eddie is so nervous that he very nearly hides under his covers and pretends to not be home. Anticipation wins out eventually though and he goes to the door, opening it to Buck’s equally as nervous looking face. He’s clutching a six pack of some fancy looking craft beer against his chest, and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, but grins when Eddie opens the door.

“Hey,” he says, “I, uh, I brought beer? My sister says I shouldn’t show up at someone’s house empty-handed, so I panicked and bought the bougiest looking beer the closest store had.”

Eddie is immediately charmed.

“Come on in,” he says, taking the beer from Buck and ushering him in, closing the door behind them. “I’ll stick these in the fridge.”

Buck trails him to the kitchen, looking around briefly but attention mostly focused on Eddie as he takes two beers from the pack before putting the rest of them in the refrigerator.

“So,” Eddie says, once they each have a beer in their hand. “This is kinda weird, right?”

Buck shrugs, taking a long sip from his beer before putting it down on the counter he’s leaning against. “Maybe,” he allows, before moving over to Eddie and taking the beer from his hands and putting it on the counter next to his. “But it’s only weird if we make it weird.”

And suddenly he’s kissing Eddie, wrapping his arms around his back to pull him close and press him into the counter at the same time. Eddie freezes for a moment but only a moment before moving his own hands up Buck’s back and gripping him by the shoulders to hold him in place as he kisses back.

It’s not so different from kissing any of the women he’s kissed in the past, Eddie thinks, except for how it’s already a million times better. He has to tilt his head up just slightly to reach Buck, and the novelty of it all makes him a little dizzy with giddiness. Buck has just a hint of stubble going on and it scrapes against Eddie’s own short beard with electrifying friction. They’re pressed so close together that Eddie can feel the gasp in Buck’s chest against his own when he bites down on the pouty lip Buck had been worrying earlier. He can also feel Buck’s growing hardness pressed hotly against his hip, but ignores that for the moment to avoid having a mental breakdown if he thinks too hard about it.

Buck however, doesn’t seem to have the same concerns, and he pulls back just enough to give Eddie a devastatingly debauched look.

“You wanna show me your room?” he asks, brushing his thumbs against the skin of Eddie’s waist just under his shirt.

Eddie hesitates for just a moment before nodding, but it’s enough for Buck to pause and give him an assessing look.

“Hey,” he says gently. “No pressure. We can just keep doing this, this is awesome. Or we can just watch a movie or something.”

“I,” Eddie says, blushing hotly. “This is so embarrassing, fuck.”

“It’s not,” Buck says, rubbing Eddie’s skin soothingly where he holds on. “You’re not. Not everyone can just jump into bed right away, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I really want to,” Eddie says, gripping Buck’s shoulders in emphasis. “I just never even kissed a guy until now, and I’ m fucking terrified if I’m being honest.”

“Nothing to be scared of,” Buck says, “pretty much everyone I know says I’m just giant golden retriever, you’re safe with me.”

“I know,” Eddie says, giving him a small smile. “It’s insane because we barely know each other, but I do feel safe with you. I just need to not psych myself out about the rest of it.”

“We have time,” Buck says, leaning in and giving Eddie a syrupy sweet kiss. “I just want to get to know you, whatever that looks like. We’ll get to sex eventually, if you want it.”

“God, I do,” Eddie says quickly, and Buck grins widely.

“Good,” he says. “And if you’re worried about not knowing what to do, I’ll do all the work the first time. All you’ll have to do is lay there and let me ride you.”

“Jesus fuck,” Eddie whimpers, squirming against Buck with pleasant anticipation. “You can’t just say things like that.”

“Sure I can,” Buck says, easily. “But only if you like it.”

“I love it,” Eddie assures him. “Kiss me some more?”

Buck does.

“Thank you for calling Multimedia Missives, my name is Buck, how can I assist you today?”

Eddie smiles at his boyfriend’s voice, knowing today’s the day he’s putting in his two week’s notice in order to start at the Fire Academy next month.

“Hey, baby,” he says.

“You’ve had my number for almost a year, Eds,” Buck laughs, “and we cancelled your membership just as long ago.”

“Yeah, well,” Eddie says, “maybe I just wanted to hear your voice. Asshole.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be picking Chris up from school right about now?” Buck teases. “What will the line moms think when you’re late.”

“I’m in the car you menace,” Eddie says, “we’re having Ben over for dinner, by the way.”

“Ooh,” Buck says, “Ben with scary but hot Ukrainian dad? He should come, too.”

“His husband might object,” Eddie says, dryly.

“Nah,” Buck says, “Jake will understand.”

“You’re an idiot,” Eddie says, shaking his head in amusement.

“But I’m your idiot,” Buck says gleefully. “You gave me a key and everything.”

Eddie spots Chris and Ben heading towards the car and gives them a little wave before focusing back on the conversation.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says. “Let me go drive, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“You called me!” Buck says with fond exasperation.

“Yeah, well,” Eddie muses, “historically, that’s worked out really well for me. I think I better keep doing it.”

“You better,” Buck says, and then he hangs up on Eddie, clearly for dramatic effect.

“Love you too, brat,” Eddie says to the phone, just as Chris and Ben reach the car.

“Buck has no clue,” he tells them as they pile into the car. “You guys ready to go help me pick out a ring?”

“Yes!” Chris says, pumping his fist in the air. “Buck’s gonna cry like a baby, it’s gonna be so great.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, thinking less about the engagement and more about the entire rest of their lives. “I think it will be.”

The End

Notes:

As always, nobody edits these things but me, lol, so please be kind. What do we think?

[choices-binglebonkus]

Top Ten Annoying Children in Choices

There are many children encountered throughout the Choices universe, some more palatable than others. Though they’re all arguably some degree of annoying, this list ranks the top ten of the most annoying children. At least, in my opinion, anyway. So sit back, relax, and read as a 21 year-old grad school student with real life responsibilities tears fictional children to shreds.

10. The Heir.

The Heir is unique in that she’s the only directly customizable child on this list with six different sprites you can choose for her regardless of your own appearance. Throughout TRH and TRF, I can truthfully say I didn’t find anything endearing about her. Like, at all. It certainly didn’t help that PB wrote her like they write animals. But her personality did get slightly better as she aged as the books went on. The same cannot be said about her appearance, however. In fact, I’d say her appearance got worse as the books went on. The Heir as a baby looks perfectly fine. The Heir as a toddler looks like she’d infect me with COVID-19 by spitting a half-chewed chicken nugget into my coffee. And The Heir as a four year-old looks like she’d beat me unconscious with a cane and call me “whippersnapper”.

9. Daughter (MOTY).

Our daughter in MOTY is actually the only child on this list with a genuinely good design. She looks genuinely cute, and that is high praise from someone who doesn’t think kids are cute. I was also sympathetic to her plight as she didn’t fit in well at school and found herself perpetually bullied. However, PB wrote her in such an obnoxious way that I just couldn’t help but be annoyed by her. She’s a gifted and incredibly smart child, but PB could’ve written her so, so much better. To me, she just came across as a slightly less obnoxious Brainy Smurf because of how badly her dialogue and writing were done.

8. Taari.

Taari was a Nothing Character, plain and simple. He didn’t add anything to Endless Summer, and he didn’t appear much at all, which is why he’s not very high on the list. But my god. This kid had practically no sense of self-preservation and Seraxa constantly had to bail his ass out of danger and scold him for getting himself into it in the first place. Kinda like another kid who’s much, much higher on the list, but more on that later.

7. Camellia.

Camellia didn’t appear much at all, but when she did, GOD was she annoying. She mostly appeared in RoE where she and Jiro were constant obstacles during Jess’s job as a tour guide, though she was much less of a brat than Jiro was.

6. Bartie.

You knew going into this list that Bartie would appear here. You knew. Let me summarize it. Annoying family, hideous design as a baby, whiny as fuck, named after Barthelemy. Though interestingly enough, I’d say he and Bianca are the least detestable of the Walker family, which really says a lot.

5. Lula Jacobs.

Kids have no place in horror stories unless they’re integral to the plot, as is the case with ILITW and THoBM. Lula serves absolutely no purpose in Bloodbound and isn’t even remotely endearing. In addition to her character adding nothing of substance to the story, our character is forced to care for her just because. Also? She’s fucking creepy, man.

4. Jiro.

We’re reaching the really annoying ones now. Jiro, like Camellia, mainly appears in RoE as an obstacle during Jess’s job as a tour guide. Unlike Camellia, though, he is almost always the one who causes trouble. He whines, he tries to throw spitballs, he splashes Camellia on the boat ride, and is generally a nuisance during any of his appearances.

3. Augustus Blackwood.

Augustus “August” Blackwood is Vanessa Blackwood’s insufferable, classist little shit of a son. He bullies the main character’s daughter and doesn’t have a pleasant bone in his body. As someone who was bullied myself, I wanted nothing more than for Luz Mendez to punt this little asshole into the sun. He would have been number #1 on this list if he’d appeared more and had a bigger role because I know my annoyance would’ve gone up if he had.

2. Isaac & Lyra Achilles.

Yes. These are two kids. However, due to them being twins, ALWAYS appearing together, and having the exact same personalities, I’m ranking them as one entity. Anyway, these kids are spoiled rotten, uncouth, uncontrollable, arrogant, and remorseless. They are ungrateful little leeches and I was so happy to get rid of them. I cannot stand spoiled children. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.

1. May.

But Binglebonkus, why is May your number one over these spoiled, entitled little brats? Well, hypothetical person, I’m so glad you asked. While May’s personality is at least pleasant, she has ZERO self-preservation and the most insane plot armor out of anyone in Choices when there’s no reason for her to even have any in the first place. She regularly gets herself into grave danger, forcing others to risk their lives to help her. Feather lost his status as an Elder saving her life, so you’d think she’d be at least a little more careful, right?

Apparently not. We have to save her several times throughout the book and even spend a sizable chunk of one chapter during a battle trying to chase after her and get her to safety. But that’s not even the end of it. Remember how I said children have no place in horror stories unless they’re integral to the plot? May adds nothing to the story like Lula Jacobs, and also like Lula, our character is forced to care for her WAAAAAY more than they really should. The only things that endear her to the player are that she’s super young and presumably orphaned.

With all that being said, PB constantly pushes May-centric diamond scenes on us. Gather plants with May. Buy May this plushie. Tell May a story. Build flower beds with May. PB seems to have wanted May to be like Clementine from The Walking Dead and have us care for her and want to protect her, so they tried to achieve that by pushing diamond scenes with her.

Unlike Clementine, though, May is an incredible liability. Yes, she apparently knows about plants and gardening, but she constantly endangers herself and others, making her unquestionably more of a liability than an asset.

To recap: while her personality is pleasant, I loathe May because she adds nothing to the story whilst being an unrealistic character in that she constantly endangers herself and others while somehow surviving every encounter no matter how severe (like being the only person the Queen didn’t eat, which I call bullshit on) and receives nothing more than a metaphorical slap on the wrist from anyone who has to haul her ass out of trouble. And of course, everyone still unquestionably adores her even after she nearly gets them killed trying to save her for the umpteenth time.

Basically, May is a veritable waste of manpower and resources and could have been a good character, but she was a garbage one instead.

[rouge-the-bat]

was tagged by @princesstokyomoon owo, thanks for taggin me :3

Rules: List your top 5 favorite shows and tag 5 people!

...can i just list yu yu hakusho 5 times LOL god i fucking love that anime so much ive been hyperfixated on ever since i first watched it a few years ago gkdbjfbf that said, biiig surprise what my number one is:

1. Yu Yu Hakusho ⭐️

THIS SHOW CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMICALS. I CANT PROPERLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ADORE THIS CAST OF CHARACTERS. THAT LIL DUDE IN THE MIDDLE?? HIEI, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, I ADORE HIM SO MUCH, HES SUCH A WONDERFUL CUTE TSUNDERE BASTARD. literally the main cast is full of characters with "contradicting" traits that just work SO WELL in making them interesting and fun

kuwabara (the one in blue) is a precious himbo, a very loud delinquent kid who loves to fight but has an honor code he will ALWAYS abide by and has a cute little kitten he adores!!!

yusuke (the one in green) is similarly a delinquent and, honestly, is more of an asshole LOL but he despite his rudeness he doesnt hesitate to put his life on the line for others!

hiei MY LOVE is The Edgy One and always acts like they rest in the group arent his friends but he always is there to help when hes needed and clearly worries for their safety 🥰 and he has a sister hes very sweet and protective over!!! and hes also just Full Of Trauma that i wont get into as more of his backstory is revealed later in the show. and hes just an absolute badass and really hot,,, (forces myself to move on or ill just ramble endlessly about him)

THEN theres hieis lover partner kurama (the red head, and my big kin!!!!), whos by far the sweetest of the 4, is a total mamas boy, BUT hes also a centuries old fox demon known for his thievery and cruelty and was changed when he was almost killed and had to transfer his soul into an unborn human child to stay alive, where his human mom's love changed him to be kinder :'3 (none of that is a spoiler really, this is info he literally states very soon after his introduction) but even though hes changed, hes still can be absolutely RUTHLESS to his enemies. even hiei states early on that he chose kurama as his partner because he wouldnt want him as an enemy

AHEM okay. thats enough rambling about my hyperfixation for now i think fhkzhfjd i probably wont be rambling much about the other ones i just really really REALLY love yyh

the rest arent really in any particular order, and imma put em under the cut!

2. My Hero Academia

i was biiig hyperfixated on this show for a while there, i just absolutely LOVE stories that explore the gray areas of things, so when this show gets into that sorta shit with the hero society its a BIG fave. plus the characters are really fun, todoroki is my fave hehe

3. She-ra (reboot)

another previous hyperfixation, i just really love these characters and honestly theyre so fun to ship in a big ol poly pile lol. tbh i miss being fixated on this one, i had sooo much fun with it ♡

4. Talentless Nana

this was a shorter hyperfixation, but MAN this show gave me EMOTIONS. i dont wanna say too much about it because i think its best to watch the first episode without knowing too much about it, but there is a BIG TWIST at the end of the first episode, and the "genre" of the show completely shifts for all of the episodes after it. if you like darker series, i def recommend this one :3 i just hope itll get more seasons!! but at least theres the manga to continue on with after the first season!

5. Avatar the Last Airbender

an absolute classic from my childhood ♡ itll always be one of my faves!! the characters, the story, the world, i love it so much !!! i still wish i could be a water or fire bender ^w^

honestly it feels weird not putting up a sonic show on here, but when i think about it i never was the biggest on the shows and have always been way more attached to the games canon. though sonic x is def still a classic from my childhood too owo

ah shit i was about to post this without tagging anyone i almost completely forgot HFKSHGK uhh ill tag @megalo-station @catfuyus @transgaykurama @mageofcolors @l-lawliets-pussy @yoko-kurama-the-sex-god (i did 1 over 5 bc im a rebel 😈 JFLZJF)

[agnes-writes]

A Character Analysis on Seong Gi-Hun (Squid Game)

made at 2 AM running on 1 hour of sleep so I hope it makes sense

A lot of people were baffled by the ending of Squid Game, where Gi-hun actively chose to not get on the plane for his daughter and try to stop the salesman trying to recruit a player for the game.

I think it's actually quite fitting for his character.

Now, I'm not saying that he's not a bad dad for doing this, I'm just saying that all his actions make sense, especially if you analyse it.

Still, I'm going to use the bad father narrative and the common comments that come with it to form a clear picture for his main character trait:

Firstly, the fact that people say his daughter is his main motivation to play the games. Now, at first, you could definitely argue that this is true. He's first approached by a salesman (Gong Yoo, which, holy shit, he's so fucking hot, by the way) right after his daughter's disastrous birthday celebration. He plays, and makes his way home. At home, he finds out from his mother that his daughter will be moving to the US and he can only get her back if he can provide for her. Seeing it as harmless and a way to make quick money, he calls the number.

However, when the first game ends, he votes not to continue, and is sent back home. Here, we find out that his mother is severely diabetic. This leads to an argument where he vows to get the money for her treatment one way or another. Subsequently, he tries to beg both his friends and even his ex-wife for a loan, and almost gets the money from her ex-wife's current husband, who told him to stay away from his family. He's seen walking home in the rain and sees the business card right after that.

I think this episode cements the fact that his main motivation, is not, in fact, his daughter—she's only a small part of it; his main motivation is his desperate need for money for his mother's treatment, and that little jab of the stepfather to him just adds insult to injury, and therefore, just a bonus perk of winning the game. In fact, this is further proven in episode 8, when Saebyeok asks Gi-hun what he'll do with the money if he gets out, and he sees he'll use it for his mother's treatment, and then set-up a proper store for her, because it's actually her dream. Only then, so he says, would he try to be a good father to his daughter. His daughter was not on the top of his priority list for the prize money.

Next, the argument that he knew from the very start that he's playing for blood money, so why doesn't he just use it to provide for his kid?

I don't think that argument's very fair. I genuinely think that he did not, in fact, know what he signed up for, and that's because the game mods had phrased their rules in a very particular way.

The game mods had told them that if they survive all six games, they get to win the money. That is very open to different interpretations but what I think Gi-hun thought is that there isn't one winner—anyone who survives 'til the end will get a portion of that money. So my theory on his thought process is that he only signed up to risk ONLY his personal health and safety, not thinking he'd have to kill anybody else. In fact, in that one scene in Episode 4, when a few players don't get enough food and have a scuffle leading to the death of one player, he is the first one who demanded something be done about it, saying that they're not there to kill each other like animals, before it's revealed that foul play is, in fact, condoned and even rewarded by the game mods.

But now Gi-hun's stuck there and he has to see it through. But he doesn't have to be happy about it.

I think one of the scenes that further cements this is in the Tug of War game—in the moment, he doesn't want to die, but then they show alternating perspectives of his team and the opposing team, and there's a myriad of expressions on his face; one of them, possibly fear and guilt as he sees the faces of the people on the other team struggling to pull back. Then, in the elevator, we have a shot of him staring at the rope burns in his hands with a clearly conflicted and horrified look on his face—which I interpreted as the moment it had sunk in that he'd have to kill people to survive.

Next is the reasoning on why he left the prize money untouched, but gave 2/3 of it Sangwoo's mother and Saebyeok's brother, but not his daughter.

Now, we've established that he probably sees this money as blood money; Gi-hun probably feels incredibly guilty or blames himself for killing his friends and other people, or at least having some kind of hand in them. He's already promised to take care of Saebyeok's brother and Sangwoo's mother, so I'm not particularly surprised. The thing is, I think he gives the money to Saebyeok's brother and Sangwoo's mother and doesn't feel bad about where it came from is because he knows that's the reason why they played the games in the first place. It was their blood that was spilled, so it would have only been fitting for them to get money.

But why not his daughter? Again, this goes back to the guilt argument. Gi-hun thinks this is blood money; and knowing how he'd gotten it, knowing what he had to do to get it (and not being able to fulfill the main motivation on why he joined, treating his mother, who died before he could come back), it would weigh on someone. It would also make sense that he wouldn't want to give his daughter that money and try to explain it, not wanting to relive or come up with a lie for what he had to go through. In his eyes, that money is tainted, and he doesn't want his daughter anywhere near what he experienced in that arena.

Lastly, why he didn't get on the plane. See, this ties in to what I think is his main character trait; he sees a salesman trying to find players for the game, indicating that it is, in fact, still on-going, despite Oh Il-Nam's death, and interrupts them.

The reasoning behind this is that he knows his daughter is already well-provided for: even in the first few episodes, we see that she has a nice house and clothes, attentive parents and is clearly doing okay with her stepfather getting a steady job in the US. In his mind, she'll be just fine.

But he was in these people's shoes before—desperately trying to make ends meet, finding away to survive, only to be taken advantage of and made to sign their own death warrant for entertainment purposes. These people have no idea what's to come for them.

In Gi-hun's head, it's his daughter's life, who is already set and comfortable with her new family, versus the lives of possibly hundreds of people who had no idea what they're getting into, many of whom may not be as lucky as he is.

That would eat at his conscience, or so I think it would. Knowing that the games are still continuing and doing nothing to stop it with the little knowledge he has of them... That screws with your head, especially with his morals intact. So he doesn't get on the plane, and chooses to try and stop the games.

And that is the running vein of his entire character:

We have his mother, who only has him to help her, as his main motivation, and we see him help those who need help as the team builds—particularly Oh Il-Nam, or player 001, whom he perceived as someone who needs to be helped at his old age (but he isn't, honestly, fuck that plot twist), there's Saebyeok's brother and Sangwoo's mother who also lost their only providers in those games, and finally, to cement the on-going theme, there're the hundreds of people, just trying to make ends meet, being swindled into playing these death games for the entertainment of rich assholes.

Seong Gi-hun doesn't take care of everyone except his daughter.

He takes care of everyone who he thinks needs it.

And I think that's a wonderful core trait for a person to have.

[megumitski]

hello these are the bnha fics i’ve read so far and i just made this to track them for myself. favorites are marked with a 💥! more bakudeku plus tododeku and other ships under the cut.

bakudeku

💥 Bluebird - EtherealBeing (53k)

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact.

However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Let’s Be Alone Together - lalazee (3k)

Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move.

“Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Bell Pepper - ticklishivories (7k)

Midoriya knew they wouldn’t talk about it. He was right. But he never thought it’d happen again.

spilling over every side - failbender (6k)

No good deed goes unpunished, not when there's a crazy lady with a complex and Lust Quirk parading around the city. By now, Katsuki should probably be used to things blowing up in his face.

be loved - bonnia (5k)

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

Leftovers - brichibi (6k)

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

lust-drunk - theboykingofhell (8k)

The one where Bakugou tries not to lose his mind to lust, and Midoriya is the useless gay who does nothing to help that matter at all.

💥 Quiet Rapture - lalazee (261k) - inc.

That A/B/O fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.

💥 A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8k)

Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? - reading_raindrop (8k)

“A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him? “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Katsuki whipped his head towards Izuku with his signature death glare as he stood up from where he picked up the fallen supplies.

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would

💥 take care - Chrome (2k)

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one.

---

“Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

Just Look At Me - Colourcubify (52k) - dnf

Midoriya is completely happy with his life. Nope, not one single regret in his twenty-seven years. He especially doesn't regret running into his old childhood friend/bully after almost ten years, nor does he regret spilling coffee all over his very expensive looking suit. How nice it will be to die with no regrets. ~~~~ AKA the sugar daddy AU I meant to be a one shot, that turned into a full fledged story.

A Nest for the Best - Camellia_Sinensis (1k)

Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.

unforgiving - i_write_emotion (19k)

Deku is hit with a quirk that takes away his ability to forgive, and Bakugou’s world comes crashing down. Quirkless!Deku. Pro-hero!Bakugou.

@ Deku WRONG CHAT - katyastark (16k) - inc.

Deku: THE LENGTHS I WOULD GO TO JUST LICK THE SWEAT OFF HIS ABS hnnnnnghhh

Deku: or! like! It doesn’t even have to be his abs! It could be anywhere else! I’m not picky!

Pinky: excuse me what

ChargeDolt: OMG

Uravity: @Deku WRONG CHAT

I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. - InkspillsNotebook (6k)

Ta-Da!!!! I hope you all enjoy the finished product!!! I'm sorry (not sorry) I broke a lot of you when I first posted this to tumblr!!

Procrastination - capncapk (5k)

But it is still surprising to see his more-than-friend-but-also-lover-he-guesses in his office seeking attention though Izuku already turned him down.

Usually he'll get a text of 'wyd?' followed by a time and place if Izuku responds with a confirmation, and silence if he's busy.

Or slammed into the wall in the agency's shower for a quickie if no one was around, which despite his anxiety, he often acquiesces to.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71k)

The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) - vannral (16k)

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Yes, They’re All Safe - teaandtumblr (5k)

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

💥 all choked up - spicyrabbit (5k)

Bakugou Katsuki had a habit of turning away from the heard. At 16, he does this by coming to terms with wanting, desperately, to see his childhood friend cry.

💥 May I take your order, dipshit? - supercrunch (6k)

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

blooms every hour - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“It’s you, okay?!” Deku screams. “It’s you. And I know you’ll never love me back, so -” Deku wipes his eyes and straightens. “So just leave it.”

-----

Deku has hanahaki, and Katsuki doesn't know how to save him.

all choked up - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“Deku, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Izuku asks Kacchan to help him train blackwhip. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

A Fight To The Death - iknewaman (10k)

Izuku isn’t competitive by nature, but when the blond, cocky asshole from the other table’s team gets involved he suddenly becomes hellbent on winning.

Rival Pub Quiz AU

💥 Like the Moon - osakakitty (15k)

Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.

💥 We Wear Chains on the Weekend - surveycorpsjean (35k)

Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare.

"Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways.

Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

take me out to dinner first - dynamighttiddy (3k)

“Kacchan,” Deku chides. “What’s going on?”

Katsuki takes a deep breath.

He trusts Deku with his life. He can trust him with this, too.

“Have sex with me.”

-----

Katsuki Bakugou is one of the only virgins left in class 3-A - and with graduation just around the corner, he's desperate to change that.

💥 that ultra kind of love - dynamighttiddy (11k)

“So, uh,” Kirishima starts. “Was that your first kiss?” he whispers, almost sheepish. Katsuki’s stomach drops, and he freezes. Memories of green eyes and freckles and soft lips flash behind his eyelids. “Yeah,” he lies easily. “That was my first kiss.”

-----

In which Bakugou pretends Kirishima is his first kiss, amongst other things.

to the moon and back - kewltie (1k)

"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.

💥 Bridges - supercrunch (18k)

Yaomomo sighs. “We’ve got a little bit of a situation, Bakugou. Ashi—uhm, somebody might have accidentally signed you up for that modelling gig.”

Katsuki holds up a hand. "So what you’re telling me here," he says, "is that you told Calvin Klein I would model for them. In my underwear.”

Ashido sinks behind a desk to hide. “Yes.”

(The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart.

So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.)

Crescendo - supercrunch - inc. (4k)

(Izuku's band is on their way to the top of the charts. But the real star, he thinks, is the drummer.)

Guilty Kiss - osakakitty (1k)

He could feel Midoriya's eyes on him. Even though he knew it was wrong, Bakugo still wet his lips in anticipation.

(Canon-verse) A short story about making out in a closet. It's messy, but so is their relationship.

💥 Surfaces - surveycorpsjean (25k)

Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right.

As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Classical conditioning - supercrunch (8k)

(or: how to trick a boy into going out with you.)

Alright. Maybe his idiot friends had a point, Katsuki thinks as he shoulders open the front door. His mother’s in the living room drinking coffee. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and stomps over. “Am I charming?” he demands, blocking the TV.

Mitsuki pats his cheek. “Oh, hon. Not at all.”

💥 Dance Bunny - EllaBesmirched (17k)

Katsuki Bakugou spends most week nights by himself, sitting in a corner at his local strip club and passing time until he feels tired enough to sleep. Work leaves him stressed and the new city he moved to a year ago is just different enough that he can't sleep at night and can't seem to get comfortable no matter where he is.

When he finally changes up his schedule and decides to head to the club on a Saturday night, he is instantly infatuated with a part-time dancer who can do things with his body that Katsuki didn't even know were possible. The dancer calls himself Bunny. By the second lap dance, Katsuki realizes he is in trouble.

but the entrails are the best part! - supercrunch (15k)

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

tododeku

(You Know You’re Really) Cute - ladyhoneydarlinglove (2k)

Kirishima poses the question, who’s the cutest boy in Class 1-A? The answers kind of surprise everyone, especially Midoriya.

Everything Except - Pouler (28k)

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

count your blessings, not your flaws - PitViperOfDoom (7k)

Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

Riddles in the Heart - PitViperOfDoom (19k)

The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there's only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

Late bloomer - Nohaljiachi (10k)

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.

‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

Burn and Breathe - PitViperOfDoom (11k)

Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own.

one string, fit for a bow - furihatachlookie (5k)

There was no magical moment that played a part in Midoriya's realization that he liked Todoroki. The thin red string that greeted him every time he looked down at his hand was an obvious factor, yes, but it wasn't love at first sight either.

It sorta just... happened over time.

fire and feelings - kagshina (8k)

“Uh…” he starts, eyes widening. “Your finger’s on fire.”

Todoroki’s face scrunches together, confused, and then he looks down, noticing the flame. Midoriya watches as shock flashes across Todoroki’s face, and then horror, and then finally settles on embarrassment as he puts out the flame.

“Shit,” Todoroki mumbles, and Midoriya’s lip curves upward.

bakutododeku 

💥 Fire in the Mountains - EllaBesmirched (168k)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

The Ballad of Love and Hate - EllaBesmirched (6k)

After eight painfully long years, Katsuki finally has Izuku back. He's determined to keep him this time, and to do that, he knows there are some things he has to say.

(mis)matched - ethydium (12k)

Midoriya doesn't hate the idea of finding one's soulmate, even though he had long since given up on finding his own. And then Bakugou and Todoroki match, and while he's happy for them, his heart breaks from all the unsaid things he feels for them.

Or:

Midoriya pines and suffers his way to his own happy ending.

pillowed by love - ethydium (21k)

As a prank, Uraraka gets Midoriya a body pillow (dakimakura) with the image of Bakugou printed on it. Then another one with Todoroki's picture. Chaos ensues.

other

For who could learn to love a beast? - supercrunch (4k) - bakutodo

Bakugou takes a deep breath and steps out into the living room, eyes automatically adjusting to the change in light. There’s a boy hanging up his coat in the hall. He’s handsome, albeit in an annoying way, hair dyed two colours to match his heterochromia and skin pale and perfect and smooth. He looks expensive. “Bakugou.”

“That’s me,” Bakugou says. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“I’m older than I look.”

(Deku was right, damn him. Pretty boys are Bakugou's type.)

Want it All - surveycorpsjean (29k) - kiribakutododeku

“Hey, so..." Eijirou grins. "Can we ask you guys a question?"

Frankendick and the Great Acid Fiasco - EllaBesmirched (11k) - shiggyxdabi

Dabi had been intending to spend a very nice Saturday getting stoned and plotting murder, thank you very much, but when a trio of UA brats on enough L to kill a Beatle accidentally dose him and two other unsuspecting homicidal maniacs, Dabi has to change his plans a bit. Apparently no else around here knows how to trip balls and fucking enjoy it.

The Twitter - EllaBesmirched (8k) - tododenki

Shouto never really intended for anyone to find his secret Twitter account. He certainly didn't intend for Kaminari to see Shouto's thirst tweets about him. Luckily, Kaminari doesn't seem to mind.

pray you catch me - supercrunch (4k)

Katsuki pushes her shirt up to kiss her stomach. It’s silly, how it makes her heart flutter, how Izuku’s whispered I love you threatens to make her cry all over again. They’re unwrapping her from her clothes. They won’t let her hide, she thinks numbly. Won’t let her curl in on herself like she’s something dirty, Katsuki’s hands tugging off her underwear so she’s naked and exposed between them. “I,” she says breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m just being dumb.”

Izuku shushes her. Another tear trickles down her cheek and into her ear. He kisses it away, humming, brushing her bangs off her forehead so he can press his mouth between her brows. “You have every right to be upset. We’ll deal with him later. For now just let us take care of you.”

“She’ll get the message once you stop talking and fuck her,” Katsuki says, slipping his fingers into her. She clenches around him and shudders. “Gonna eat you out ‘til you forget how to move. Now put that fucking motor mouth to good use, Deku.”

[daydream-believin]

What About the Smaller Picture (2)

Summary: Merlin knows best. And what he feels is best for you and Douxie right now is to sit around and wait for him to come back from New Jersey, Merlin-knows-when. (2) Your first day in Arcadia, it sure is something. (1) - (3)

Warnings: swearing, proofing is for nerds

Word Count: 2211

a/n: i hope to be able to make you feel the awkwardness radiating off of every part of this series

Hisirdoux’s special welcome tour didn’t exactly do its job of making you feel welcome. You supposed that was more of a problem with you than the town. It definitely wasn’t of any fault of Hisirdoux’s. If anything, he was being a little too warm. It almost felt fake.

People appeared to like Hisirdoux. All across town, he would greet friends, introduce you to them. Kinda like he was showing you off. You did not know what for. He barely knew you, yet he talked about you like you were an old friend returned to him. Like he was proud of you or something. You supposed he was establishing a cover story. And you weren’t sure why. Why not just say you were new in town? What tracks was he trying to cover here.

You stopped paying too much attention to what Hisirdoux was telling others about you. He was telling them that he cared for you. That he missed you. It was a lie, sure. But just hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth were making you melt. It had been so long that it was hard for you to recall the last time a person said such nice things about you. That was sad. You supposed the blush on your face did good to add to the story he was telling. Made it more believable. You felt really pathetic that this guy you barely knew lying through his teeth about you was actually making you blush as if it was real. As if anyone really thought those nice things he said about you in real life. Man that’s really sad. Moving on.

The town itself looked a little rough. Like it had seen better days. It was apparently a hub of magic, so it probably had. A lot of the damage you saw looked very recent though. That made sense. The whole reason you wound up here was because you befriended a girl traveling with a pack of trolls migrating from this very town. When asked why they were migrating, Claire, the girl, had told you that their home had been destroyed in a recent battle. “The Eternal Night” they called the battle. You, of course, knew about such eternal night. You had heard of the prophecy, you just didn’t expect it to happen in your lifetime. And you may had freaked out just a tad when it came along earlier that month, the unexpected solar eclipse confusing you and your studies before you figured out what was happening. However, you had assumed the battle took place underground, you know, cause trolls. The town you explored with Hisirdoux told a different story. At one point you saw a troll walking by, under an umbrella, following a red-headed human woman with a baby in her arms. And the locals didn’t seem to care. No one batted an eye. Strange town.

What really baffled you though was what happened later in the day, back at the bookstore, when you cast a simple spell. Nothing too flashy, just a little levitation on a book Hisirdoux had sent you to find up on a high shelf you couldn’t reach. When he saw you, Doux made a really panicked gasping sound. He threw himself in front of you, shielding you from the people who were not even there, startling you, and throwing off your focus. The book landed on both of you with a thunk.

“You can’t do that,” his voice was hushed despite you two being the only ones in the shop at the moment, “It’s business hours. The mortals don’t know about wizards and they shouldn’t see magic,” he stressed.

“But- uh,, They look just fine with the trolls?” Confusion was written across your face.

“That’s different. It’s different. Look, the situation is weird, okay,” He made a little X with his hands. “But I can’t have you casting spells around the shop. Or in public, period. The mortals can’t see anything, okay?”

“Okay, okay. My bad. I won’t do it again- Promise.” Your face was hot with embarrassment. This was your fault for assuming. Fuck, he probably thinks you’re a wild card now or something. Not a good start to your professional life here. Or your relationship with this Adonis who’s reprimanding you.

“While there are some other wizards around town that I’ll introduce you to tonight, to stay safe, generally just keep the magic for when we’re alone and out of sight.”

“Oh, yeah, uh- Okay”

He grinned. Suddenly, he leaned in, catching you off guard. “It can be a special thing,” His voice was even softer as he was so close to you, “just between the two of us.”

Oh. So he meant when just You and Him were alone and out of sight. Ooookaaaayyyy. He winked to you as he separated himself from your side, and went off to the back of the store to continue unpacking a shipment he had just got in. He left you there, clutching that damn book to your chest, face now hotter than before, if that was even possible at all. Oh no.

Fuck, it was fucking day one. Day one! Day fucking one and you were developing a crush. NOPE. This was not something you were going to do. Uh-uh. Nein. There was no fucking time for this. Well, you didn’t really know how much time you had with Merlin and his addiction to being perceived as mysterious or whatever the hell was wrong with that asshole you worked for now, but the point is you did not have time for this! Hisirdoux was too much. Merlin really should have had the decency to warn you that he was hot. This wasn’t fair. Not only was Doux beautiful, but he was a touchy person. You weren’t going to stand a chance.

The thing is you had been sooo worried about how you and Hisirdoux were going to get along, you even brought up the concern to Merlin. To be honest, you had thought the old wizard to just be annoyed at your worrying, and that’s why he reassured you it’d all be fine. That you and Hisirdoux would get along swimmingly or whatever just get out of my hair kid. You were so afraid Hisirdoux would have to warm up to you like a cat being introduced to a new kitten. Afraid that he’d resent you since you were technically Merlin’s apprentice too now in a sense. And he was used to being number one, no one else to compete with for Merlin’s sparse pride since Morgana went astray. Merlin assured you Hisirdoux was very friendly. But like, would it kill the geezer to give you a warning that he’d be too friendly.

While you were having your little crisis, Douxie was humming along to the song in his head, stacking up the new books onto a display, trying his absolute dilly darndest not to think about what just happened. What he did. That wasn’t weird, right? Oh fuzzbuckets, he did something weird. He was just so used to playing up the flirty persona he’d developed he hadn’t even stopped to think about if he’d be making you uncomfortable. And he really wanted you to be comfortable. Plus, he felt pretty guilty he had to stop your tour around town to go accept a shipment he forgot. Strangely, he was really concerned about the impression he was giving you. Caring about what another person thought of him was not very in character for him. Not counting Merlin, of course. He was going to have to make this up to you. He really needed you to think he was cool. For professional reasons, of course. Definitely.

~ ~ ~

“SO! I recommend the steak because it’s the least disgusting thing on the menu.”

You gaped at the wizard sitting across from you in this sticky booth, peeping your head over the kitschy French-themed menu you held. He had no menu. In fact he refused to even touch it. Great. What did he know.

“I- What do mean ‘least disgusting’, Casperan.” You were almost afraid to ask.

“I mean that kitchen is filthy and the steak is your best bet for something edible.”

“Why. Why would you bring me here if the food is terrible.”

You were always weary of greasy chain restaurants, but you had expected this one to be at least a little decent, since it was a smaller Cali chain and Hisirdoux had fucking brought you to it your first day in the town. Surely he was kidding.

“I just wanted to show you where I worked nights. So you’d be able to find me easier if there’s any trouble. Besides, you can’t say you’ve been to California if you haven’t had Mr. Benoit’s. It’s like In-N-Out burger. Remind me to take you to an In-N-Out burger later this week.”

You blinked. “Oh – uh, okay.”

Hisirdoux continued, “I can’t have my phone turned on during my shifts so you’ll have to come get me directly if it’s a big enough problem. Make up an emergency. Are you good at improve?”

You looked around the restaurant, getting a feel for its layout, taking notice of where the kitchen and back doors were located, making mental notes of all exits. “Ah, well, I’m good at lying, if that’s what you’re asking…”

“Good enough.”

The waiter came to take your orders. Hisirdoux shared an inside joke with him. It should have been awkward, them laughing away at something you didn’t understand why you sat there quietly, but you were a little too fixated on how pretty Hisirdoux looked when he laughed. It was mesmerizing. The waiter took your order. You got the steak.

~ ~ ~

It was very important for you to establish connections in Arcadia’s wizard underground. Or at least that’s what Hisirdoux thought. You weren’t particularly a social butterfly. It’s not that you didn’t like having a large group of friends or anything, you just never really had a reason to have one. And Doux was hell bent on introducing you to every person in this town in one day apparently. You had met twenty-three wizards in counting over the last hour being shepherded through this off-brand apple store. You had so far learned no names. How did he expect you to remember these peoples names.  Scratch that. You knew one name. Zoe. Just because she was very annoyed at your and Hisirdoux’s presence in her workplace, and was very vocal about it. That being said, she didn’t make any real effort to get you to leave. You wished she would though. You were getting overwhelmed. Today had been incredibly stressful, with a lot of information to take in, and with only a brief rest when Doux was handling things at the bookstore. You wanted to go home. Geez, home. You realized that Hisirdoux had yet to show you home. Where was home.

You tugged on his hand to grab his attention. “Hey, I’m- uh – tired? Really tired. Can - can we go home?”

“OH. Yes! Home. Right away. Yes.”

Douxie possibly maybe had been avoiding home all day. It just, it wasn’t much. He had no idea how you were going to react. His space was small already without adding another person to it. Of course, it wasn’t any smaller than any of the one-room cottages that entire families used to share, but it was tiny for modern standards. Okay to be frank it was a back room. Not technically even an actual apartment. But it was his home. And now it was your home too.

Okay, so Hisirdoux lived in his bookstore. What was probably supposed to be a break room was his entire living space. It was… cozy. You set the backpack that carried everything you owned down on the floor and headed for the lumpy plaid sofa. It was nice and old, like a sofa should be. The plaid pattern covered any stains that might have been there. Hisirdoux sat down next to you, starting to fiddle with his hands. You looked around, took it all in. The was a kitchenette off to one side, a bed to the other side. The sofa was in the sort of middle ground. Notably, there was no table, barely any counter space, and various teacups on the coffee table, so it was a safe bet that he just ordered take out every night and ate it on the sofa. The twin bed was on the ground, and the quilts that covered it had visible holes. It struck you that this bed was the only one in the room. The one room.

“So I’ll take the sofa, until we get you a bed. I’ll, uh, figure something out with the space. We can put up curtains or something.” It was if he had read your mind.

You nodded, unsure of anything to add. This was,,,, going to be fun. A challenge. A test to see how long you can act normal while living in extremely close quarters with a funny medieval supermodel. Merlin help you. Something moved in the corner of your eye. You gasped.

“Kitty!”

“Oh, that’s Archie.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Talking kitty. How bout that.

[antiherocorner]

Niki Lauda - The White Wolf

A Werewolf! Niki Lauda x Reader fic (18+)

Headcanons: 

So... This is my first AU ever... And also this is my first smut... Kind of... Thing... Ever... Sex scene, let's go with that... I was debating to post it in smaller parts, or a bigger one. I decided the second one might be better.

This is a mess, and a random idea... This could be a psychedelic trip, while you're watching fucking Twilight... Yes, I am familiar with the Twilight Saga... No, I wasn't Team Jacob... No, I didn't intend to base this on that... But it might has some similar stuff (no vampires)... Small stuff... All of them were unintentional, really.... Well... 1 or 2 things weren't, but most of them.

English is still not my native language, apologies for the grammatical mistakes, I tried.

Taglist: @rumblelibrary (you are my first tag in a fic written by me aaaaaaa🥺❤️🔥)

Summary: Your car broke down while you're on a road trip, on your own. You need someone to fix it. There's a small town. What could possibly happen?...

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (don't do it kids), swearing, possibly smoking, drinking, mention of scar (nothing big or serious), google translated German, bad dog jokes, puns, and no, i didn't make a "real" wolf fuck the Reader, i'm not that kinky, i imagined the Reader to be female, but can be gender neutral, no name, or age mentioned, no use of y/n either... That's it?... Idunno, still new to this

(collage made by me, i don't own the pictures, i just used them, it's also very amateur, I haven't done a collage in ages)

🐺🤍❤️

You were in your car ‘till your waist. The damn thing broke down half way into your road trip. You have had enough of your monotonous everyday life, so you decided to pack up the essential stuff of yours, get your car together, and head out into the unknown. You have already seen beautiful mountains from a distance, gone through deep, mysterious forests, taken many pictures. You have tried to live in your car, but occasionally you have stayed in some cheap, low budget motels for 1 or 2 nights. You always had trust in your car, yet there you were. It didn’t run out of gas, it just suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, just outside of a small town. It looked rather friendly, and not busy at all. There wasn’t any other car passing by, so you did what you thought was the best decision: packed your bag, locked the car, and started walking into the town, praying to find someone, anyone really, who can maybe lend a helping hand.

The people you saw were really kind, it seemed they didn’t really get too many outsiders in their small town, and they seemed happy for you. They told you that there was one car mechanic in the town, a little group of guys. They also told you about a motel, which was always open for travellers, and due to the lack of them, it was basically empty. You decided to go to the motel first. The receptionist was a friendly old lady, who, again, got very excited to finally have someone at her place. You got your room, for a very small price, went in and unpacked some of your stuff. You really wanted to know what was up with your car, or if it could be fixed at all, so you didn’t waste much time in your new temporary place. After a few minutes you headed out to the streets, to the direction where you were told before to find the mechanics.

It was one of those warm days, so you were glad you found what you were looking for. You heard music coming out of an open garage. Above the doors you read “The Rat's Den”.

- Hello?... - you popped your head in the garage.

- Can I help you with something? - a tall, blonde haired man, with broad shoulders approached you. He had a cheeky smile on his face, sweat under his long locks. Oh, and shirtless.

- I uhm.. My car broke down just down the main road - you gestured with your hand where your car was - And I was just wondering if you could help me with it… I don’t know what could be the problem, I have been traveling with it for the past few days, weeks, everything was fine up until now. I just can’t get it to work.

- Sure, we can take a look at that thing - you turned your head to the direction from where another voice caught your attention. Another man just slipped out from under a car. He had curly hair, slimmer body than the blonde one, but still tall. You looked him in the eye as he came over. His eyes were like a river of caramel pudding, and they were glowing like a forest fire in the middle of the night. Your mouth watered.

- Thank.. You… - you said shyly. What’s happening? You normally aren't this shy… - When can you do that?

- Are you staying in that old motel? - asked the curly one.

- Yes.

- Alright. Is that good, if I go there around 7 am tomorrow, so I can take a look at it before I open the garage?

- Y-yeah… sure.

- It’s a date then. I’m Niki Lauda, by the way, that’s James Hunt. - he gestured towards the blonde one, James. You didn’t even notice him leaving you two. You told him your name.

- It was nice meeting you. I’ll be there at 7.

- Okay. See you then. And thank you.

- It’s no problem.

And with that you headed out of the garage. You turned back before you completely went outside. You saw a tattoo on James' right shoulder. You didn’t see every detail, but you felt a strange feeling. Unconsciously your eyes wandered to Niki. He was wearing a white shirt, but you could still see a glimpse of something similar, at least as you guessed, just under his neck. Strange.

You went back to the motel. You couldn’t go to sleep during the night so easily. You had a weird feeling about The Rat’s Den. Some kind of an aura was around it. It looked like any other garages where they repair cars and that’s it, but not there. There was something. You couldn’t really describe what you were feeling, or grasp what you should even be looking for. Something was up, you were sure about that.

🐺🤍❤️

After a few hours of sleep, you woke up. Niki could be here any minute now. You freshened up a little bit, you felt like shit due to the lack of sleep. Suddenly, you heard a loud car noise. You were the only one there at the motel, you guessed that was Niki. Honk. Yes, most definitely. You opened the door for an old, shiney Ferrari, with Niki sitting at the front.

- You’re coming or no, Schatzi?

You blushed by the petname, but quickly composed yourself, locked your room’s door, and jumped into the passenger seat. The man asked you about where you left your car. You answered and he drove to the correct directions. The short journey was mostly silent, with small talks. You stared out of the window, so you missed the spectating eyes of his.

- You’re good? You look exhausted…

- I’m okay, I just haven’t slept much. - you turned to him.

- Well, that makes the two of us.

You looked at him with curious eyes, but he remained silent, eyes focused on the road. You couldn’t read him, but tried to observe his features. He was pale, especially his knuckles as he was basically suffocating that poor wheel. He was taking deep and slow breaths. He looked like he was having a hard time in his own car.

- Is that your car? - Niki snapped you out of your thoughts.

- Yes, yes, that’s it.

Niki stopped his car in front of yours. You got out, and walked to it. He asked for your keys, so he could open the hood of the car. You took them out of your packet, then placed them in his open palm. Fingers briefly touched. He was warm. Surprisingly warm. For a moment you thought you heard him sharply inhale, but he quickly busied himself with your car. He has a nice butt. You immediately scolded yourself and turned your back to him, leaning on the side of the car, while he was working. After a few minutes, awkward silence, and some rattling, he straightened himself and turned to you.

- The engine gave up. Although it’s nothing serious or expensive, it will take some day to fix it properly, so it won’t die again. - so I stuck here yey - How long will you stay?

- As long as I don’t have a car I guess… - you massaged your nose, the lack of sleep started to catch up - I took it to a mechanic before I left… That’s just great…

- Well, that asshole did a shit job… It’s obvious what’s wrong, and it didn’t happen overnight. - he shrugged and closed the hood - I can’t take it back to the garage now, but during the afternoon I will come back for it with a more usable car.

- Sounds like a plan - you nodded and extended your arm to take your keys back.

Your fingers brushed against his, again, but this time the contact shot electricity up in your arm, which caused you to drop the keys. You instantly crouched after it, but what you grabbed weren’t your keys. It was a hand. Niki’s hand. How does he have these quick reflexes? You looked up, still holding his hand, and just realized that your faces were just a few centimeters away from each other. Both of you froze. Niki even seemed like he wasn’t breathing. His eyes were on yours, before he looked down to your lips. You licked them unconsciously. He purred. What?

- We should get back to the town.

He jumped up, leaving your keys on the ground. You tried to get yourself together, picked up your keys and sat back into his car. The way back to the garage was in complete silence. He didn’t purr, did he? He just breathed weirdly… I am imagining stuff… Right? You were confused.

🐺🤍❤️

Not much happened during the rest of the day. You tried to look around the little place, bought some food and just relaxed in your room. When the sun started to settle down you realized that you didn’t give your car keys back to Niki. You left each other in such a hurry, after he took you back to his garage, none of you had it in mind. You couldn’t call him, you didn’t have his number, and you didn’t really want to walk there. Throughout the whole day you had a strange feeling. Something was definitely up. You just felt it in your guts. Niki was like any other man and yet, he had an aura that just gave off some vibes which you just couldn’t grasp, no matter how hard you tried. You were pacing in your room when you looked out of your window. A red Ferrari just stopped in front of the motel. What, is he a mind reader too? You opened your door, spinning your keys in the air with your right hand.

- Catch! - you shouted, throwing them at his back, but before it could hit him, he turned around and caught them in his left hand with incredible accuracy.

You weren't expecting that. He didn’t say anything, just smirked and winked at you, as you locked eyes. You blushed deeply, and he disappeared just as quickly as he came by.

🐺🤍❤️

During the evening, you couldn’t rest. Again. This time you decided to go for a little walk. You weren’t really paying attention to where you were going. You just wandered around the quiet, calm town. It seemed like everyone was fast asleep. Not a single person, not a single soul was up. You arrived at a little dirt road which was leading you to a forest, next to your temporary home. You didn’t know why, you followed it. You got to a little field which was shielded with huge trees from the outside world. Some rays of sunshine were still peeking through the bushes, giving it an angelic look. Little red flowers covered your newly found small area. It felt like you were in a fairytale. But you weren’t. You heard a branch break behind you. You turned on your heels, just in time to see a huge, black wolf coming out from the bushes. It looked unusual, there was something in its face, in its eyes that was off. Human? It had a human kind of amused face expression. In the middle of your observation you just realized it was coming close. You panicked. Just when you thought it was going to rip you apart, another one jumped between the two of you, from behind you. This one was white, and slightly bigger. It growled at its own kind, like it was telling him to fuck off. The black wolf looked at you one last time and took off into the trees. The remaining animal calmed down, before it turned to you. It looked majestic. There was something royal in its posture. Around its neck and on his chest it had little patches of curly fur, like a mane. It had a cut on its lip, probably just had a fight, maybe with its prey. It looked deep into your eyes, like it was staring into your soul. There was something familiar in those eyes. The eyes were glowing, and like a river of caramel. Wait. You took a step forward and it instantly disappeared into the shadows. You really did needed to sleep.

🐺🤍❤️

You jolted up in your bed. You were covered in sweat, hair was messy. You massaged your face while you were trying to catch your breath, even your breathing. You looked at the clock. 1:30am. You managed to sleep for about an hour, before the nightmare woke you up. You saw the wolves again. They were circling you. The black one jumped forward and tackled you to the ground. Your sight got blurry, but you could still make out the silhouette of the white one. It changed into a man. It had curly hair. You felt like someone or something was watching you. You walked to the window, and pushed the curtain aside. You saw a wolf, watching you from the otherside of the road. A white wolf. That wolf. You immediately turned around, hands were burying in your hair. What the hell is going on? Am I going crazy? What is this place? A knock on the door caused you to jump. With shake legs and hands, you went to the door and opened it. Niki was leaning on the door jamb, with his left hand.

- What an earth are you… - you started with a confused look but it quickly changed into a shock, your eyes got wide when you looked at his lips. He had a fresh scar there. - There’s no way…

- I can’t do this anymore. You drive me crazy. - he looked at you with a beast-like expression on his face.

- What do y- - you couldn’t finish your question.

Niki technically broke into your room, then kicked the door closed. He didn’t mean to scare you, but he was on the edge of completely losing control over himself. He took a step towards you. You didn’t step back. You couldn’t. That animal look on him made your legs weak, your mouth dry. The lust in his eye made you want him. You licked your lips. That was the last straw for him. The next thing you knew you were thrown against the wall. His mouth was on your neck, sucking and biting like a hungry wolf. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he didn’t plan to go easy and kind on you either. He hooked his hands under your knees, picked you up and you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist. His fingers dug into the flesh of your ass and thighs.

- Your smell is intoxicating to me. I still don’t know how did I manage to not to rip your clothes off and fuck you on the hood of your car, when there were just the two of us, alone. - he confessed into your ear, and that made you feel all kinds of incoherent thoughts.

You wanted to answer, but when he sucked on your collarbone, the only thing that came out of your mouth was a moan, which could have been heard in Hell as well. He growled in response, grabbed your shirt on the back, and tore it in half with such ease, letting it fall to the carpet. He took you away from the wall, then placed your back on your bed. He sit up, just to took of his shirt. He placed himself between your legs, arms next to your head to keep himself from crushing you. He looked you deep in the eye. The warm that radiated from him was unbearable. It made your stomach turn in itself. He leaned in to capture your lips, but he stopped just millimeters away from you. There was a silent question in the air. He got his answer when you closed your eyes. When your lips met, you felt like you jumped to another dimension. He tasted like a mixture of cigarette and beer. Your hands found their ways into his curls. His breath stuttered for a second, before letting out a purring sound into your lips and mouth. He liked that. No. He loved that. His left hand wandered down between the two of you, to pull your pants down. You let him. Then it was your turn to free him from his pants. He let you. He was bigger than you would have imagined, and thick. And also hard like a rock. You gently grabbed him to pump him a little bit, but he didn’t let you have your fun for too long. He needed you badly. He wanted to bury himself in you. He pulled your hand away from him, and just as you were to pull your legs up for him to get a better angle, he tightened his grip on your arm a little bit, and turned you around like he just picked up a feather. You got confused for a second but when you felt him at your entrance you put the puzzle together. Oh. He is half wolf after all. And without a second word he trusted his hips toward and filled you up. You pressed your face into your blanket to suppress some of your cry.

- I’m sorry, but you really bring the animal out of me... Meine schöne Beute...- was all he whispered, but waited for a little bit for you, to get used to him, before he started moving.

From slow and sensual trusts, you quickly arrived to needy and shameless fucking. His occasional growles got mixed with your load moans. Niki kept biting your neck and shoulders, and you couldn’t do anything, rather just take it. Not that you had any coherent thoughts about doing anything in that position. As both of you were coming closer to reaching your desires, Niki’s hands found their ways to the back of your own ones, interlocked your fingers, and raised both his and your arms above your heads on the bed. You saw the finish line, but before you could register the checkered flag, your pleasure hit you like a racecar. The man behind you finished the race as a close second. He stayed inside you until he got soft, then collapsed on the bed beside you. After you stopped seeing stars, you looked at him. He was already looking at you with his big caramel eyes. You felt this urge to cuddle him, you were already missing his warmth, although he wasn’t that far from you. He looked like he sensed your thoughts, because he opened one of his arms, invitingly. You quickly snuggled to his side, head on his chest. He was drawing circles on your back with the hand that was behind you. You reached up to the back of his neck, and started to slowly massaging the hair on it. He instantly started purring.

- I love this sound… - you slightly chuckled.

- I can get used to this… - he smiled.

- So am I... - the broken car was long forgotten.

Both of you drifted off to sleep like this, in the arms of each other. The last thing you heard was Niki’s heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump. Honk.

You shot your eyes open. You were in your car. In a parking lot. You sit up, confused, trying to solve your thoughts. You were tired, so you stopped to sleep a little bit in your car, before you reached your next destination. Was this all a dream? You climbed over to the driver’s seat. Started the car. Looked in the mirror on your right, on your left, then on the middle one. You saw a little purple spot under your shirt, around your neck. You pulled the shirt aside. A hickey on your collarbone.

🐺🤍❤️

The End?...

[petersasteria]

The Package - Harry Holland

Harry || Main || Taglist

Requested? Nah 1,583 words Heavily inspired by Key and Peele.

* * * *

Harry was in his office bored out of his mind. He was sipping around in his office chair while throwing his stress ball up in the air and catching it repeatedly. The young CEO hated his job despite the multiple and grand benefits that came along with the job. He hated that his brothers Tom and Sam were allowed to decline the offer when their father asked them if they could take over the family business. Tom declined it because he wanted to focus more on the carpentry side of the business. Sam declined because it wasn’t his passion; he wanted to be a chef. But Harry was never asked about what he wanted. His father told him that he’s the heir of the company. With that being said, Harry hated it and he resented his brothers and father for it.

He loved them dearly, though. He knew that no one else would take over and Paddy was far too young to be a CEO. Harry just unwillingly took his fate as his father retired. Now that he’s seated on ‘the throne’, as everyone in the office called it, he felt powerful but at the same time he felt judged by the people who work for him because they were all older than him and most of them saw him and his brothers grow up. It was awkward.

Harry stopped spinning around his chair and heavily sighed before grabbing his phone to play games on it. There was nothing better to do and it was a slow day. All the shipments were done yesterday, all the forms were signed before lunch, no meetings until next month, and no new applicants to take up the job of being his assistant. His last assistant, Margaret, was his dad’s assistant. Harry loved Margaret like a family member, but she was too old, so he allowed her to retire.

The game on his phone started to become boring and with a sigh, he exited the game and went on Facebook to see anything new about the people he went to school with. He loved, for lack of better term, tea. He loved spilling tea and he loved being told tea. He and Sam bonded over it.

Just as Harry was reading a post about his former schoolmate being involved in a scandal with one of his former teachers, his office telephone rang. Without an assistant, Harry was forced to answer calls without knowing who it was on lines 1, 2, and 3.

“Hello, this is Harry Holland of Holland Industries. Who am I speaking to?” Harry asked. At this point, it was engraved in his mind now. He knew what to say and what not to say.

“Hi, Harry! This is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m calling from Master Travel Incorporated to tell you about an exciting limited-time offer, exclusive getaway to the Philippines. Can I have a few moments of your time to tell you about this new package?” Your tone of voice matched the exciting offer you asked, but it wasn’t enough to entice Harry. He didn’t even know where that pine place was.

“You know, Y/N, I would love to, but I just don’t have the time-”

Upon hearing that, you immediately hung up the phone. Harry stopped talking and looked at the phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“Huh, rude.” Harry muttered under his breath as he put the phone in its place. He grabbed his phone and continued reading about his schoolmate, but he couldn’t shake off the rude thing you just did. He sighed to himself and grabbed the phone, somehow directing the call to you, and waited for you to pick up.

Your telephone rang and you answered on the first ring, “This is Y/N Y/L/N, Master Travel Incorporated. How may I be of service?”

“Hi, Y/N Y/L/N. My name is Harry. I think we just spoke not too long ago.” Harry said as he fiddled with a pen that was on his desk. “Did we just get disconnected?”

“Um, yeah. I hung up on you.” You said blatantly.

Harry raised his eyebrows upon hearing your answer and asked, “Why? Like, why would you do that? Are you allowed to do that? Because that was rude, Y/N. I’ll tell you that.”

You sat back in your chair and twirled the cord of your headset around your finger with a smug look on your face. “Were you going to buy the Philippines package?”

“What? No! Don’t be daft. That’s not the point I was trying to make. What I’m saying is-”

You hung up on him again and Harry’s jaw dropped. He has never encountered someone so rude such as yourself. “What the fuck.” Harry said before calling you again.

“This is Y/N-”

“Yeah, Y/L/N. Listen. I don’t know why you’re being rude to me, but you don’t get to hang up-” Harry gasped as soon as you hung up again. “Oh my fucking god!” Harry shouted in annoyance. He knew it wasn’t worth it, but he was never disrespected like that in his life. So, he called again.

You answered the call immediately, “What the fuck do you want?”

“What’s your deal, huh?” Harry asked as his eyebrows knit in confusion and slight anger.

“Um, you don’t want the Philippines package,” You started. “So I don’t want to talk. I did us a favor instead of wasting our time.” You were about to end the call and somehow, Harry sensed that.

“Stop, stop! Don’t you dare end this call!” Harry raised his voice, not noticing the attention he drew to himself. Everyone looked at his office and as if it wasn’t enough, Tom and Sam went to visit him just to see how he was doing.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked Edith, the accountant,

“Harry is throwing a fit.” Edith answered before returning to do her job. Edith was a 50 year old woman and she’s so over the stage of being the one to calm a kid down when throwing a fit. Those years were behind her and she didn’t want to calm Harry down. If Harry wanted to throw a fit, she doesn’t care. She just wanted to get paid and get through the day like everyone else.

“He’s… too old for that.” Sam chuckled as he and Tom walked closer to his twin’s office.

Harry never noticed them standing by the doorframe, though.

“Why shouldn’t I?” You asked him.

“Why shouldn’t you?!” Harry shrieked. “What if I wanted the Philippines package?! You know what? I want the Philippines package!”

Tom furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he looked at Sam and Sam just shrugged. He didn’t know what was happening either.

There was silence between your line and Harry’s. After a few seconds, you broke the silence and said, “Sure, you do.” You hung up the phone once more before Harry could say anything else. This made Harry scream and throw the pen in frustration.

He stood up from his seat and yelled at the telephone, “You motherfucking bitch! I will give you a piece of my mind and you will feel my wrath!”

Neither Sam nor Tom wanted to stop. They wanted to see how it would go down.

Harry called again and this time, he put you on speaker. The phone rang and you answered on the first ring, “Come on, man. Let it go.”

“Fuck you! I WANT SIX FUCKING PACKAGES RIGHT NOW!! You know what- where’s my wallet?” Harry walked around the room to find his wallet as you sat back with a victorious smile on your face.

Harry found his wallet and pulled out his credit card. He quickly walked to where the telephone was and said, “I found my fucking credit card! Now put the details there, Y/L/N! My credit card number is 1185-6514-1109. The fucking expiration date is 12-22! And then the security number is 195! Run the fucking card right fucking now! Run it now, asshole!”

You held back your laughter as you punched in his details and when you were done, you simply said, “Thank you for your business.”

Harry took a deep breath and said, “I hope you learned your le-”

You hung up once more and that made Harry scream in anger. Sam walked further into the room and tapped Harry’s shoulder. Harry turned around and saw Sam, “Mate, stop it! Just stop calling or you’ll get even more pissed!”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He took a few calming breaths before looking up at Sam and finally noticing Tom who gave Harry a small wave which Harry returned.

“What was that, H?” Tom asked softly as he walked further into the office.

Harry looked at his brothers and calmly said, “Pack your things. We’re going to the Philippines for a family vacation. I just bought six packages for it.”

Bonus +

Your boss, Colin, went to your desk with a huge grin on his face. “Y/N, I don’t know how you do it, but you’ve made a ton of sales recently! I’m really proud of you for coming this far! Because of that-”

Colin turned to everyone and shouted, “Y/N is employee of the month! Let’s all leave an hour early and celebrate! It’s on me!”

Everyone cheered and congratulated you. Colin went back to his office and you smirked before calling your new ‘victim’.

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @thatforgottenangel @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @euphorichxlland @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @more-like-reyna

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 2)

Tony Stark x son!reader

warnings:

a/n: had to split it into 2 parts bc i hit the text limit dhshaggags

prompt: continued

part 1

~sokovia was ur first big mission~

“why is y/n here, stark?” -cap

“the first mistake was letting me become a father”

“good god, tony...”

you having the time of your life crushing robots

“WHEEEEEE”

also proving useful by saving avengers a handful of times

“thanks for the assist, stark clone” -clint

rip pietro

rhodey was actually the most worried about you if we’re being honest, he didn’t understand why they let you in this one???

“y/n? y/n, talk to me! are you alive?”

“yes, uncle rhodey! i’m perfect, stop worrying!”

“i love you, kid! be safe!”

✨a good family you’ve got✨

soon the avengers broke up bc your dad cant get along with steve and it was just really awkward

but you chose your dad’s side

“sorry, steve! he pays my allowance!”

peter was actually a little okay, you know!! spazzy at first, but he was cool

“dude, you’re y/n stark! you’re tony stark’s very own son! i’m talking to mr. stark’s only child!”

“yep, that’s me. i’m what earned tony the title of ‘DILF’”

teenage teamup? ofc

“am i doing alright?”

“looking a-okay, pete!”

tony was worried fighting steve would traumatize you so he made you wait at the hotel with happy and peter

“don’t do anything to embarrass me, y/n. i dont want to see you on the news for something stupid”

you and peter ended up hanging out in your room and watching tv and ordering room service

“how do you do that so smoothly? i’d just freak out and go get it myself”

“years of experience as a spoiled rich brat”

absolutely positively being up all night and trying to fight your exhaustion

“you two seem to be getting along well. couldn’t be me” -happy

“for someone named happy, you never seem to be happy”

“not around teenagers, no”

“i remember when you loved me, ‘uncle happy’”

peter texted you every day after that

whenever flash picked on peter for “never meeting tony stark” he’d show a picture of you and him taking selfies in the lab together yes you invite him over much to the dismay of everyone else around you

plus tony was out of town and you were finally trusted enough to be left alone unchecked so like, happy would just leave at the first sign of peter

“that’s not real!”

“jealous?”

you actually showed up for homecoming on a dare (but in disguise)

didn’t wanna attract all the attention, you just wanted a high school experience

but you got called into avengers tower to help move early on :/ bad timing too cuz peter had to fight his first villain and u missed it

“dude, how do you feel?”

“bruh sound effect number two”

“oh my god”

FRIDAY heard him and pulled up the sound and you were WEAK you couldn’t stop laughing

“please....i think i broke a few ribs. cant laugh until tomorrow”

tony offered peter the avengers gig and peter said no, you were very disappointed but u understood that not everyone wanted to be in the spotlight like that

but you and peter obviously still hung out

oh, tony proposed! they interviewed you on sight!

“y/n, how does it feel to know that you’re going to have a stepmom soon?”

“you guys are aware that pepper helped raise me, right? right?!”

moving on, life was smooth for a while, there was some wedding planning, talk of you being a best man (which rhodey fought you on)

“no, i’ve known your dad longer!”

“i’m his son!”

i n v a s i o n

oh boy that was rough

bruce was surprised that you had fucking grown so much in the past 3 years good lord

“y/n...your VOICE”

“puberty, i know. when’s it gonna happen to you?”

“it hurts more when it’s from a teenager”

“uh, did you forget my birthday?”

peter’s back! peter’s back!

finally, man

“spider-kid, i could use an assist!”

“on the way!”

“aliens, why did it have to be aliens?”

up up and away for tony and peter, leaving you on the ground with all the earthly chaos and fear

“you two are the absolute worst, you know that? DAD, PETER, GET BACK DOWN HERE”

“no can do, kid. i—” *cuts off*

“oh great, no service on the space donut, huh? find a damn wifi password and call me back you asshole”

pepper was probably having a heart attack bc the news stations were having a field day but you were one of the only active avengers left, meaning you had to help clean this up

“bruce, we gotta get going”

“what? where?”

“upstate”

patching up the avengers as best as you could to take care of the threat

but you guys always win, this should be a cake walk, right?

wrong.

this was bad, very bad

after a lengthy battle with thanos in wakanda, you had failed. thanos got the stones, he snapped. the world was in ruins. but you didn’t get to see that part

you dusted away

“tell dad i’m sorry and i love him”

tony finally came back to earth hoping to see you, but upon seeing pepper’s face, he knew you were gone

“he did everything he could, tony! he didn’t deserve it!”

she was extremely upset, she saw you like a son of her own

soon, her and tony restarted their life and had a daughter, dad always wondered what it’d be like to have a little girl. it was different, it really was

she was eager to meet you

morgan stole pictures of you to hang up in her room

“when i meet y/n, im gonna give him a big hug! then we’ll have a tea party!”

tony has a picture of you and peter in the kitchen, he misses the two of you, but found comfort in the fact that you may be with each other

an ounce of hope, he had to try something

save his only son, and his other son

when he got to 2012, he was disappointed that he hadn’t let you become an avenger yet because he couldn’t see you here

yada yada he fucked up now he’s in the 70s and he fixed the fuck up and now hes in 2023

and bruce snapped

and you were all brought back and the way you kicked ass was inspiring

tony had to see his son now. right now.

“y/n, dear god! you’re okay! oh, man. i love you so much, kid. i missed you”

“i love you too. and i can’t believe you went to space without me, meanie”

“get over it”

ah, back to old times

peter and you obviously had to team up for this one! come on, what a story to tell!

and then, a snap and the warriors began to fade. you turned around and saw him on his knees

“no...”

you rushed over to where peter already was and tried to hold back tears, to be strong for him

“hey, dad. i’m here. no more missed goodbyes, okay? i’m here.”

you sat beside him and held his hand while the rest of your family made their peace with him and he finally slipped away

“y/n...are you okay?” -peter

“not even a little”

peter was worried about you, but you were worried about peter

mutual worry

meeting morgan was...surprising

pepper forgot to tell you they had a daughter while you were gone

she was so sweet and for the first month you lived at the cabin, she slept in your room

you got NO space

“i love you y/n”

“love you too” *thinking about dad bc she just reminds you of him so much*

“i love you y/n”

“love you too, morgan”

over and over

peter and you had sleepovers a lot, usually at his house bc you were the only one besides ned allowed over bc of all the spider-stuff

ned fanboyed over you

also sleepovers at peter’s were a nice break from being at tony’s cabin where you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t there

“y/n, i’m going to europe for a field trip! it’s gonna be awesome!”

“dude, you’re gonna love it. are you bringing your suit?”

“no, this is my offical vacation. no spider-manning”

“good for you, man!”

peter sent you all the pictures he took on his phone

all of them

Peter-Man: And this one is me and Ned in our crappy hotel room. And here’s the river. And here’s MJ covered in birds, and here’s the airplane, Mr. Harrington fell asleep on me

you had to come to europe once you heard what was going on

happy and you picked up peter and he was a mess

“you gave away dad’s glasses?”

“i think we’re past the point that i am not smart”

“jesus, peter. you should have called me about them. i would have taken them off your hands if you weren’t ready for them”

having to make sure that you guys didn’t get hurt bc this was honestly your guy’s first solo pair-up

there wasnt much backup here

finally, you defeated the evil (who apparently held a very large grudge against you. sorry mister beck) and were able to go back home

“call me if you need anything, pete”

“i will. i promise.”

and the next thing you know...peter’s identity was exposed

“i left him alone for one day!”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[the-acid-pear]

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

[ajbwasntwriting]

Daughter!Reader X Negan, Reader x Daryl: Chapter 1. Darling Princess

Next

After the sneak peak tested well I decided to post the first chapter. I have many more already written and in the making but I’ll only post them if this gets a good reaction so please if you enjoy this please heart it, reblog it, and/or reply to it. Interaction inspires.

Sucking on another cigarette the stale tobacco burned your throat in a way you would’ve been disgusted by years ago. You looked out your window down at the gate, walkers pulling at it to try and get in. It had been a couple of years since Negan took power and more than long enough for you to feel trapped. You held the smoke in your lungs, a small part of your brain wishing it would ignite inside you and let you combust, before letting it out slow and smooth. Luxuries like this were meant to last. Another luxury was the leather loveseat you were sitting on, and the black and blue mosaic coffee table your feet and ashtray were on, and the acoustic gibson on your lap.

You placed the smoke between your lips to free your hand so you could strum the strings. You were playing an old rock balled your old man had taught you what felt like a life-time ago. He didn’t teach you to play guitar but when you came back from scouts playing campfire songs he insisted on teaching you some real music. You thought back on how many of his guitar strings you broke before that Christmas he bought you your own Washburn. The strings seemed to break less when the instrument was more your size. Those memories felt so distant now. As if they belonged to another person or were part of a movie you watched. The lyrics of the tune you were playing were on the cusp of coming back to you when your door opened violently somewhere behind you.

“My dearest daughter” Negan spoke as he entered your private room. You likened his new way of talking to that of a TV presenter. Always having to keep people on their toes. You used to think it funny when you were a kid but it wasn’t part of his personality then. “What are you doing here? Dinner was half an hour ago.”

“I’m not hungry” you shot back not even turning to face him, which would have been easy since the chair sat with its side to the window, but the walkers chewing on the fence were far more interesting.

“Y/N, don’t lie to me. You said the same at breakfast.” He sauntered over. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Lucille wasn’t with him.

“Food I didn’t earn doesn’t sate my appetite” you shot back, leaning forward to put out your smoke in the ashtray. That must have stirred something within him because the next thing you know you were grabbed by your arm and dragged out of your room, the guitar hitting the ground with a sorry sound. You let him drag you without protest, knowing better.

You were pulled into a plush dining room, immaculately furnished with white cushioned chair and a long oak table, set with silver cutlery. There were five sets in total for you, your father, and three of his ‘wives’. You figured this was some sort of ‘happy family’ play he’d act out but you didn’t know who the viewer was. You? The wives? The men? Or maybe knowing you didn’t want to be here was entertainment enough.

You were shoved into a chair next to the head of the table across from Frankie. She looked comfortable while nursing her drink but you reckoned that wasn’t her first. In front of her sat a bottle of vodka, distilled on-site by worker number 12. Fat Joey was filling the bowls with soup when your father shoved your chair in. He plopped himself into the chair next to you at the head of the table.

“Now isn’t this nice. A big happy family dinner before your old man takes off tomorrow.” You didn’t dignify him with a reply, instead motioning to the bottle of vodka in front of you. 

“May I have some, Frankie?” she looked at the bottle then smiled at you 

“Go ahead, Princess”. You picked up the bottle and filled your glass half-way to spite her for that nickname. 

“Thank you” you tried to be civil, as badly as you wanted to just walk off with the bottle, you sipped your glass instead.

You silently started the soup. The veggies were cut into large pieces. Perfect, chewing gave you a reason not to talk to the dickhead to your left. Your eyes were too buried in your soup to see the other two wives staring at you and your father who was boring holes into your head with his eyes.

“How was your day, Y/N?” Tanya perked up

“Same as yours” you replied with a mouth full of carrot and potato

Silence

“Where are you going tomorrow Negan?” Nicolle added.

“Ladies.” Your father spoke out, his tone showing his distinct lack of patience. “I’m not an idiot. I can tell that our darling daughter doesn’t want to share our company.”

“I made that obvious in my room.” Your spoon fell gracelessly into your bowl. “Why am I here?!” 

He reached over and rubbed your cheek affectionately. “Because I love you. And!” he punctuated the final word by raising a finger in front of your face, a silent cue to wait. He stood up from his chair and took off out of the room and down the hall. You took this moment to talk to his wives.

“You don’t have to be nice to me,” you said before starting to shovel soup into your mouth.

“Like hell, we don't.” Frankie retorted, earning a short child from one of the others. You chuckled and swallowed the food in your mouth. You picked up your glass and gestured it at Frankie

“Take notes, Ladies. Frankie doesn’t try bullshit on me” Frankie gestured her glass back. You guessed she’d been in a similar situation, forced to get along with people because it was easier. She didn’t try to be your friend because you knew you wouldn’t appreciate it, which in a weird turn of events you appreciated.

Your father arrived back. It was now you noticed he was a lot cleaner than usual, even the signature leather jacket had left him. Now you were alarmed. In his hands was a pink box with a purple bow. He placed it in front of you and kissed the top of your head. “Happy Birthday, Y/N.”

“Is it my birthday?” you asked, not quite sure. Time had become a blur since the end of the world. You pushed your bowl away to bring the box in front of you.

“Give or take a few months. I know I’ve missed a couple what with...everything...so this will count for at least one of them.” He placed a hand on your shoulder giving it a little squeeze, your own hand finding its way on top “There’s a lot more gifts coming for my princess, don't you worry.” You couldn’t help the smile that came to you, giggling slightly. You looked up at him, seeing nothing but unconditional love being sent back your way 

“Dad, it’s alright.” You smiled and turned back to your gift. The wives were now watching, captivated by this little bit of humanity at the end of it all. You gingerly opened the bow and lifted the lid off.

Inside lay a military knife, clearly hand-made on-site with a beautiful leather handle and your name carved into the side in cursive. You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. You picked it up, finding it fits in your hand perfectly. 

“It’s beautiful” you near-whispered, watching as the candle lights hit against the metal. In a moment it was lodged in the table a mere inch from Tanya’s hand. You kicked back your chair, making your father step back, and grabbed the vodka bottle in one motion. “Now if only I had a reason to fucking use it” you spat as you stormed out of the room.

Back in your room, you sat in the corner with your head against the cold-glass window, looking down at the dead, only illuminated by the moon. You had killed so many of them before arriving at Sanctuary. Hell, you’d say you saved your old man’s ass more than he saved you...but he was a people’s person. Ruthless. But a people’s person. ‘Let me do my thing and I’ll have these assholes sucking my dick in days’.

That was a different age. Back when your father was a teacher. Back when your mother was sick. Back when your father cheated on her with anything with a pulse and she took it out on you. Back when your mother’s treatment and your father’s lifestyle drained your college fund and you had to enlist. Back when she’d attack you, both emotionally and physically, and you took it cause you knew she was in pain.  Back when you had come home from a 16-month mission because her condition had worsened. Back when the world went to shit. Back when you had to put her down because your sleazeball of a father wasn’t man enough to do it. You looked down at the dead and thought, if you reached your hands through the wires...you could be back with your mom.

Your door opened slowly, heavy footsteps coming your way. There was no need to look. Only one person would enter your room without knocking. “You scared Tanya back there, Princess.” your father spoke in a low voice. 

“She can take it” you croaked, a clear sign you had been crying. He kneeled down beside you. In the reflection of the window, you could see him holding out the knife.

“Please take it.” You turned around, your back now pressed to the window.

“Why?”

“You need to be able to protect yourself”

“Give me a gun then”

“No.”

“Why? Scared I’d leave.” You took a swig of your drink. 

“I see you’re upset-”

“Do you?! Do you really?” you cut him short, stumbling to your feet using the window to push yourself up. “Why am I upset? Because I eat food I don’t deserve? Because you make people die for me? Because you have me trapped in a fucking tower like Repunzel or some shit!?” That earned a chuckle from him, which only served to piss you off. “I should be down there earning my bit just like everyone else.”

“Do we have to go over this again?” He sighed dramatically. He cupped your face, the knife now dangerously close to you. “You're my daughter Y/N. My darling baby girl. My precious princess”

“I was twenty-six when this shit hit, dad” you mumbled through your squished cheeks. He gave them a little loving slap.

“You're valuable to me, which means some people might want to hurt you. You eat to stay alive, people die because they’re stupid, and you live in this room on this floor so you can be kept safe.” you blew him off with a wave of your hand and an angry sigh. You pushed passed him to your bed, twirling to sit on it and start taking off your combat boots. He walked over and lodged the knife in your headboard before kneeling down to look up at you. “I have to go out for a while. Find this Rick Grimes asshole and get some payback for the fifteen men he killed at our outpost.”

A chill went up your spine “The one near the hilltop settlement” you whispered. 

“That’s right.” You looked him in the eye, not noticing how your lip quivered.

“You don’t have too.” you didn’t know if it was the booze or genuine worry for human life but you found yourself begging. “We have more than enough peo-” he shushed you soothingly, his hand coming up to your cheek, rubbing soothing circles. 

“Oh but you know I have too, and while I’m gone I don’t want anyone to get ideas on what they can do to you so” he nodded towards the knife. You pulled it out of the wall, looking it over before nodding, mouthing ‘okay’ and depositing it in your nightstand table. He kissed your forehead before leaving, wishing you a good night. Once again alone you took two large gulps of your drink and laid down.

Edit: For creative reasons Y/N is now 26 at the beginning of the apocalypse instead of the original 24

[hopelesshawks]

Physical Fatality Part 1- Respectable

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Masterlist

You sit down at your desk staring almost blankly ahead. “Hey Katsuki, can I borrow your hoodie really quick?” you ask the man whose desk has been next to yours for almost a year now and who just so happens to be the number three hero. He looks at you, then the leather jacket you’re clearly wearing, and raises an eyebrow. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks. “Bakugo. Hoodie. Now,” you try again, extending an expectant hand out to him. He notices the diamond engagement ring that had made its home there for the past couple of months is gone so he takes off and hands over his hoodie. “Thanks,” you tell him giving him a smile, before carefully folding up the hoodie and then promptly shoving it in your face to muffle your frustrated scream.

“Are you ok (y/n)?” a different voice asks full of concern. You lift your head out of the sweatshirt to find a freckle-faced man hovering in front of your desk. “I’m fine Midoriya,” you sigh. “Liar,” Bakugo scoffs. You glare at him before throwing his hoodie at his face. He still manages to catch it, the bastard. “You and Monoma broke up didn’t you?” he asks without missing a beat as he puts his hoodie back on. Midoriya’s eyes get wide as he turns back to you to confirm. “Yea, we did. For good this time,” you relent. “What happened?” Midoriya asks with sad eyes. God you’re too sober for his pity, but you’re also still at work so you guess you’ll just have to power through because there’s no way he’ll drop it now. “The usual. We fought and he got mean the way he always does. I just finally had enough,” you shrug. “Don’t do that (y/n), you know you can talk about it with us,” Midoriya insists, grabbing a chair from a nearby desk and pulling it up to yours. As he sits down you realize there’s no talking your way out of this. The lower ranking heroes were taking all of the patrols today so the three of you had plenty of time to go over your failed engagement.

“Fine! Geez, he basically called me a slut with no friends,” you finally admit. “What? None of that’s true!” Midoriya protests. “It’s kind of true,” you shrug. “Bakugo and I are your friends!” Midoriya insists. “Don’t rope me into shit you damn nerd,” Bakugo scowls. “He said you two don’t count cause you’re my coworkers and I almost never see you guys outside of work,” you reply. “That’s just because we all basically live at work,” Bakugo says rolling his eyes. “So we are friends then?” you smirk at Bakugo. “What are you on about?” he scowls. “You didn’t contradict the friends part of that sentence,” you point out. “Obviously we’re friends, dumbass. Shouldn’t have to fuckin tell you all the time,” he huffs, slightly embarrassed by the admission which makes you laugh. “You know you’re not a slut either,” Midoriya cuts in. “Nah, she was definitely a slut.” “Kacchan!” “What? If anything she should go back to being a slut. She was way more fun then,” Bakugo shrugs. “I agree with Bakugo on this one. Monoma is an asshole and I never would’ve gotten engaged to him in the first place if All Might hadn’t pressured me into a relationship with him,” you point out. “Wait, All Might is the reason you two got together?” Midoriya asks. “Did you not know this story? The tabloids were eating me alive because of all the one night stands. Monoma was the quote, unquote ‘perfect opportunity to make me respectable’ and get the tabloids off my back. I didn’t care but the agency has a reputation to maintain,” you explain. “Speak of the devil,” Bakugo suddenly says. You turn to see where he’s looking only to groan as you notice your now ex-fiancé storming into the room.

“We weren’t done talking (y/n)!” Monoma shouts as he rapidly approaches your desk. You quickly spin around so your back is facing him. “Do you think he’ll go away if I pretend I didn’t see him?” you ask Bakugo conspiratorially. “Doubtful,” Bakugo scoffs. You groan in response just as Monoma finally gets to your desk and spins your chair around to face him. “You’re being unreasonable, just take the ring back,” he insists as he holds the obnoxiously large diamond out towards you. “No Neito, I told you we’re done,” you sigh. “You don’t mean that. Baby, please,” he begs and it’s starting to tug on your heart a little bit. For one tiny moment you think maybe you’re being too harsh. After all, in spite of the circumstances from which it all started, you had grown to love him over the years of your tumultuous relationship. For just one moment you consider saying fine and taking back the ring. Then Monoma does what he always does: he opens his stupid fucking mouth. “I could make you golden if you’d just show some respect,” he promises and it’s so ludicrous you could almost laugh. Almost. “You know, I’d tell you to shove that stupid ring up your ass but I’m afraid it would never fit with your head already stuck so deep in there. Fuck off Monoma,” you tell him.

He looks like he’s about to protest again but Midoriya and Bakugo both are stood beside you in an instant. Having the number one and number three heroes as your closest friends has its perks. “Walk away extra,” Bakugo warns, his palms sparking. You see the green sparks of Midoriya charging up his own quirk out the corner of your eye and you’re sure Monoma must be shitting himself at least a little bit. “So you’re trading me in for some of the wondrous 1-A boys then?” he asks and it makes you roll your eyes so hard it’s a wonder they don’t fall out. “No Neito. I’m just done with you and your bullshit,” you insist. “Please don’t go away,” he finally begs as one last ditch attempt to win you back. “It’s too late,” you tell him. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally giving up and walking away.

When the door finally shuts behind him you sag in relief with a sigh. “Did he just refer to you guys by your class name from fucking high school?” you ask in disbelief as Bakugo and Midoriya finally relax and go back to sitting. “He did,” Midoriya sighs. “Jesus Christ I almost married that guy. I was prepared to have kids with that guy!” you groan. Midoriya gives you a reassuring pat on the back. “Why couldn’t All Might have tried to set me up with you instead Midoriya,” you pout. “O-oh! I’m flattered! But uh I really don’t think of you that way. Not that you’re not attractive or anything! I don’t mean it like that! Just yknow I see you more as a sister and uh-“ he stutters as his face goes red. His rant is cut off by the sound of your laughter. “Oh my god, Midoriya relax! I’m kidding! I know you’re very happy with Uravity. The two of you are adorable together it’s disgusting,” you assure him. “Hey why’d you say that shitty nerd over me?” Bakugo cuts in with a raised eyebrow. You roll your eyes. “You can’t fix my reputation Bakugo. The only reason you don’t have to fix your own is because you’ve had the same shitty one since high school so it’s just part of your brand now,” you point out. Bakugo doesn’t particularly like that answer but you’re not wrong so he doesn’t contradict you. “Whatever, at least there’s that dumb ass HPSC masquerade thing tonight,” he grouses. “How is that an ‘at least’? Those things suck,” you groan. “They aren’t that bad! A bunch of the retired heroes are gonna speak!” Midoriya tries to encourage. “That’s exactly why it’ll suck,” you sigh. “Wrong as usual, dumbass,” Bakugo smirks. “Oh really? Enlighten me then oh wise explosion murder god,” you say, turning to face him. He glares at your use of the old moniker but decides to give you a pass this time since Monoma was such a brat. “You only hate them because you’ve only been with the stupid respectable copycat where you had to make stupid respectable small talk to create a stupid respectable reputation. This time you’ll roll in with us, we’ll get drunk on the company’s dime while Deku fusses, and we’ll be anything but respectable. Fuck being respectable,” Bakugo asserts. “You know what? Fuck it and fuck being respectable,” you agree. Bakugo grins at you as Midoriya looks between the two of you concerned. “I guess you earned it,” he sighs and your grin only brightens.

Tonight is going to be one to remember.

Author’s Note: I honestly feel like Monoma is more of an asshole here than he is in the anime/manga but I mostly just needed someone to fit into this role and I couldn’t bear to have any of 1-A do it cause I love them too much so here we are 😬

[battle-of-roses]

When Rome Burns : Part 1

TW : Logan Roy's A+ Parenting, Manipulative Logan

By @your-gay-cousin-clover

---

With a certain hint of trepidation, Tom starts dressing himself to meet up with Shiv in downtown New York. The plan was pretty simple for the day: meet up with Shiv, find a gift for her father, put on his best Midwest honourable fellow personality and charm the pants of all her family. He stopped for a moment in the middle of his bedroom, standing there in his white button up, boxers and black socks, biting his lip on whether to take the gold ring, he’d picked out a week ago, to the party. After all this time he had spent with her, ever since their whirlwind romance in Hong Kong, he was sure that she was the one for him. His soulmate, the-one-who-he-got, his loml. The question was of when?

The party would be a good place to propose. Lavish surroundings, her entire family, and a pretty pricey ring to show his commitment to her. All eggs in your basket, he’d say if- when she said yes. And it would all be fine and okay. He starts to daydream for a moment, his dreams flying higher than just becoming Logan Roy’s son-in-law, maybe he’d join in the business himself. He would swoop in, take over one of the main branches of Royco, maybe ATN and continue the family business until he had his own billionaire kids à la Shiv.

Beep! Beep!

His fantasies suddenly dashed down into the floor. He jerks and reaches to the phone on the table to receive the call. It’s Shiv.

“Hey honeybee,” he says in a sweet-syrupy tone that he hoped conveyed his affections accordingly.

“Where are you?”

He immediately frowns. Her tone is clipped sharp, a razor’s edge, threatening him to not speak a word off their usual script.

“I’m … ahh… just getting dressed. Oh, oh, how formal is the even supposed to be? Do you think I could sneak in a tartan tie pattern to impress your Dad?” He tries to detract from her irritation.

“The fuck, Tom? Don’t be silly. Just wear whatever you want, you’re not a pre-schooler. It’s a formal event, but don’t wear anything weird or embarrassing.” Her words just kick up a latent anger in him that he press down as per usual. It’s alright, maybe it’s her job that’s got her stressed.

He tries another jovial voice for a size. “Ok, love-,” he continues, but there’s no Shiv on the other side of the call. Just him and the dial tone mocking him.

Right.

Nothing weird or embarrassing.

He drops the ring into a drawer of his bedside table and shuts it close.

—

The day goes in its own pace and Shiv makes a hasty apology about her signal getting dropped in the elevator. He waves it off, he always goes. There’s no use holding on a grudge with his future-wife-to-be, on silly things like one too many passive aggressive words and brushed off endearments. And so, here he is now. Standing in the middle of an opulent penthouse living room, chatting pleasantries with Marcia, hands sweaty as he tightens his grasp on the gilded box with the watch.

It had been pretty expensive to purchase on his own. He and Shiv were comfortable, sure. But they - no, he wasn’t Olympus rich like the Roys, America’s number one conservative messiah. He hopes it’s enough. Enough for a job at ATN, enough for Shiv, above all, enough for Logan.

His fucking future hung on a balance because of a little ticking metal machine.

Ding!

There. The elevator’s number stuck still on their current floor and his breathing picks up. Everyone else collects around the door to waiting as the metal door open, but he stands back, alone. For a split second, he’s swallowed up in all the gold, gild and glamour around him and he simply can’t breathe.

He sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of all this. No matter how brave, how much of a fucking asshole he pretends to be. He does not deserve to be here. He’s what? Got a few hundred thousand in his savings, while collectively in front of him stands the 3rd richest family in America. He just wants to bolt and never come back.

And in the same fleeting moment, the doubt hastily vaporises as Logan Roy himself steps into the view amidst loud yells of “Happy Birthday!”.

The moment he sees Logan, it’s something of oh, that echoes in his head. Like oh, he’s just an old man. And he indeed looks frazzled, startled by the sudden cheers. But he whispers something to Marcia, who takes his coat and hands it off to one of the numerous maids hurrying around the house.

And then he straightens up to face the crowd. There’s something in his eyes that makes Tom want to shrink back against the patterned wallpaper. Something fierce, something very calculating. He watches as Logan makes his way through the crowd of his children and nods absent-mindedly at everyone’s greetings.

“Shiv,” Logan says, turning to Shiv, his back to Tom “Where’s Wambsgans? I thought we invited him.”

Shiv’s expression falters for a second, perhaps debating whether her father’s joking or not. It’s clear, he’s not, when the beat of silence extends between them. She smiles back again, radiant. And gosh, Tom loves her so much.

“He’s behind you, Dad!”

Tom didn’t have much time to be mortified as Logan turned to him and stuck his hand out to shake. Awkwardly balancing his watch box on one hand, Tom tries to make grip firm and solid. Logan gives him two shakes and quickly removes his hand.

“Wambsgans, you’ve got a strong grip. Trying to break an old man’s hand, eh?”

Fuck. Of course, Logan Roy would be above all masculine handshaking bullshit that the Wall Street posers were really into. Logan knew he was the king of the world, didn’t need to prove it to any Tom-Dick-Harry on the street.

Logan’s already turning away from him, but Tom tries to swallow his foot down the throat trying not to make his first impression even worst. He lets out a laugh, but winces internally. Too braying, too harsh, too corny.

“Well, you’re not that weak, Mr Roy-“ He tries. He does. But Shiv already looks disappointed and Logan’s barely listening to him. His time to prove himself is running out.

Ding!

Everyone turns to look at the elevator again. Kendall Roy steps out the lift with his ex-wife and children in tow. He’s wearing that same black blue outfit combo, just like the one on Forbes, proudly declaring him as the HEIR WITH THE FLAIR. Tom has read Kendall’s entire wikipedia enough times to know that the stress marks and the lack of the photogenic smile was simply because of his age.

Drugs - Divorce - Demotion.

Yet like every American hero billionaire, Kendall got the second chance that could only be afforded to the rich and now, most probably, he was going to the Successor to the entire media conglomerate. Even then, Tom wouldn’t say that he exactly envies the other man.

“Ken!” Logan’s voice somehow sounds surprised as well as disappointed. “I didn’t think you’d come. Did we close the Vaulter deal?”

Kendall’s stance becomes a bit wooden as he reaches down to accept his father’s embrace. His ex turns to Marcia and hands off a wrapped box with a pleasant smile. The kids run off with Grace’s kid and Kendall stands there looking a bit unsettled as he answers “oh, no, no Dad. They’re still hammering out the details. I took a break to wish you on your birthday. Not sure how many more there might be.” The conversation mills a bit around the two, everyone leans in a bit to hear.

“You did?” Logan repeats with furrowed brows. “Well, where’s your cousin? I thought he’d rather come than you.”

Kendall looks taken aback for a moment. Everyone tries another round of conversation, but Tom simply nods along to other’s words as he tries to figure out information about the cousin. A cousin? Shiv’s never mentioned a cousin being involved in … well, anything.

“Greg?” Kendall asks, his voice uncertain. Logan looks him in the eye and shares a sardonic grin. “Yes, Greg. Unless Marianne happened to suddenly stop by. What’s he doing? Wasn’t he with you this morning?”

Kendall seems to shrink into himself under his father’s gaze. “Greg’s..” he starts and stops for a moment. “Greg’s with the team in the building. He wanted to finish the deal before joining the party.”

“Shame.” Logan says, “But good for him, as soon as we wrap up this deal the better. Anyway, kids, can I talk to you alone for a moment? I just want you to sign something.”

All of them exchange glances with each other, the meaning of which Tom is too novel to understand. All of them quietly follow in the steps of their father. The rest of them stare.

“So,” Marcia says, clapping her hands together. The sound echoes in the eerie silence devoid of birthday wishes. “Let’s get started on lunch shall we?”

—

On the way to the “game” which was highly requested in a cult-like chanting, Tom abruptly turns to Shiv and asks “I didn’t know you had cousin working at Waystar?”

She ceases typing on her phone and looks up with pinched brows, seemingly in thought. Tom watches the city go by in a blur from Shiv’s side of the window and waits. “

“Oh,” She says “You mean Greg? Yeah, he’s like my second cousin. Uncle Ewan’s only grandson, although I don’t think he’s seen them since he was ten? He’s chief strategist at Royco. You’ll see him soon enough when you join.”

A when, not an if. And immediately, Tom’s heart lifts. He fights a grin on his face and catches Shiv’s eye. She smiles a bit, the stress from her face falling away for a second and turns back to her phone.

All was well.

—

All was not well.

Tom kind of looks like an idiot. At least in his own head, he’s been lugging around the watch box the entire evening. Right now, he’s standing behind Logan and Shiv like an obedient puppy waiting for Shiv to call upon him. The rest of the family is setting up the baseball game while the groundskeepers looking on fascinated.

Tom pretty much feels like them.

“So, about Tom,” Shiv says and Logan seems to be considering her words. Tom’s ears pick up, his hands turn sweaty again and he fidgets with the box in his hands. He imagines he can hear the watch tick inside like a time bomb.

“Hmm…” Logan replies, peering out into the distance. Kendall’s already gone into the wind, about half-an-hour ago, his ear glued to the phone talking to “Greg”. Tom waits for that syllable to end and simply waits.

“What do you think about putting him under Greg?”

Despite the short distance between him and the duo, he hears an undercurrent of something sinister his way. Something almost amusingly cruel.

“Wh-why Greg? Isn’t that - like isn’t he already busy with the buyings and everything else? And surely you don’t expect Tom to be his assistant? He’s much more experienced in business.” Shiv’s protest add a bit of tension to his mind.

What was the deal with this Greg? It was almost as if he was some kind of a boogeyman to Shiv and her siblings. But someone that Logan clearly approved of, but there was something very odd about the whole missing cousin.

It was as if being put under the cousin would somehow be bad for him. Geez, was he some kind of a hardass?

“No, no. I’m sure Greg’s not to busy to welcome your boyfriend into the family business. He can help guide Tom and put him in a fitting department. Not to busy to help family.”

Tom expects Shiv to say something. To put off Logan’s plan and for a moment, she does. But instead, she stops and frowns.

A beat.

Tom takes it as his cue to step in with the box.

This better work.

—

[internalsealpanic]

Dick Grayson x Mercenary Reader HCs Part 1

a/n: This is basically a Dick Grayson/ Reader thingy that has been stuck in my head for months but I haven’t plotted out an actual fic for. Basically, I have the relationship mapped out in my head but I have no scenarios. I was hoping someone could suggest a plot I can play with. This part is mostly platonic with hints of a future relationship. This is pretty much in a weird version of canon running around in my head. 

masterlist

You’re Deathstroke’s apprentice. (This version is the version from the Knights and Dragons movie so he isn't a complete and utter asshole. Look, I just really like that version.) Let's just say you had more moxie than self preservation. It also helps that you’re a meta with a pretty unique power. Anything drawn on your skin turns into a physical object. (You basically have a bunch of permanent markers on you in addition to your usual equipment.)

Dick doesn't like you because of your profession but has a grudging respect for your skill. You think Dick is annoying for getting in the way but you understand that he's just trying to do his best to help the city in his own useless way.

YOU LORDING YOUR HEIGHT OVER DICK WHEN YOU'RE KIDS AND YOU QUIETLY CURSING WHEN YOU STOP GROWING.

You and Dick never set out to be friends. You honestly had no clue when this even started. Maybe it was because you keep accidentally saving each other or maybe because you two have a lot to bond over such as murdered parents and emotionally inept mentors. 

When it actually started: You, in full  costume, recognize your least favourite bird and see that he's crying and that he not only has an ugly bruise in his face but also a bunch of other injuries. you simply sit with him and throw your arms around him letting your muscles relax as if to tell him ‘it's ok and that you’ve got him’. You let him cry into your shoulder. You understand that you have a little more in common than he's willing to admit. You use one of your motion tattoo wings as a cover from the rain and the other to keep Dick warm. When Dick finally calms down enough to think, he's jarred by how nice you are acting. your general demeanor loosened at this point you let your offense show and the very petulant look on your face draws a tired laugh out of Dick. your angry look melts to give way to something resembling relief. You stay there for a while not speaking before Dick decides he needs to leave. Without a fuss you let him go.

After that, instead of fighting each other during encounters, you two kind of just sit together and start talking about what happened since your last encounter. Or you two play rock, paper, scissors to see who ‘won’. 

Dick realizes that your personality is hilariously incompatible with your chosen profession. You rant about how Slade lectures you about learning how to lie better and when they tested how bad you were at it Dick was sure Alfred would politely word it as wooden. you had good control over your body language but you had a look caught between pain and annoyance etched on your face. 

Mini scenario: 

Dick is really stressed out with school and vigilanteing and with Bruce that he just starts wandering around Gotham. 

It was a bad idea. Wandering around Gotham is generally a bad idea especially if your head isn't on straight but there is something relaxing about just wandering around. 

Dick ends up at one of Gotham's old movie theatres. One of those businesses that you're pretty sure is a front for something because you can't wrap your head around how they could possibly still be in business. 

Then there you were a foot from the ticketing windows. His mind instantly recognizes you. You, in turn, recognize him instantly. 

When neither of you launch into an attack, you decide to watch a movie together. After bickering for 15 minutes about what movie you should watch, you decide on a coin toss. Because you won, Dick was subjected to your love of terrible movies. 

You go out for burgers afterwards and joke about the movie. You complain about the bad acting and the ridiculous story line. You even come up with how they should have done it.

Your lunch was spent outside in the parking lot of the burger joint. 

You walk around some more after you explain that you haven't been to this part of Gotham and Dick gives you a mini tour. 

You talk about a mix of mundane teenager things and some complaints about their occupations.

You check your watch and explain that you need to go to the grocery store for ingredients. 

Dick goes with you just because. He won't admit that he's having a lot of fun.

Being teenagers they fuck around. Being exceptionally athletic and intelligent teenagers you fuck around entertainingly. 

At first, you play 'the price is right' because Dick wants to prove he isn't a spoiled rich kid. He doesn't prove jack. You don't do much better but it's on the opposite end. 

You get bored and frustrated so you start a scavenger hunt much to the terror of the other customers. How would you feel about 2 terrors zooming around screaming about butter and backflipping over you?

Dick is busy gloating about his victory when the store gets robbed. Dick can't do anything because right now he is a rich boy extraordinaire and should not be capable of fighting. you on the other hand is sore from losing and just yeets a can into one of the robbers faces. 

Everyone's attention pans to your as you ready to lob another can at them. The robbers run leaving their unconscious friend on the floor bleeding. 

You still pay for the can but ask Dick to get another one. 

 Walking down the street, Dick notices how many take out places are on the way and asks why you don't just eat from there. you simply tell him you like home cooking more. He notes that for next time. 

You exchange phone numbers so you can plan a next time. 

The next time they hang out you both bring homemade snacks to sneak into the theater.

They start hanging out in civvies and do really mundane civilian stuff you want to try and that Dick doesn't get to do enough. 

You become a sort of hub of normality for Dick. He can talk to you about all the weird stuff without worrying about your not getting it or your judging him while also doing the most mind numbingly human things. 

What do they usually talk about:

Casual nerdy stuff

Weird history shit you reads about

Vigilante stuff

Funny henchman stories from the perspective of a vigilante and a higher level henchman

Sometimes they talk about trauma but they only vaguely mention it

They debate over dumb things like whether there's too much variety in cereal. Guess who's on which side. 

Sometimes they discuss fighting techniques. 

Dick teaches you Romani and about the Romani culture

You sometimes explains various myths and superstitions from your own culture

Dick sometimes talks about school and galas and you end up making fun of weird rich people. They also end up making fun of the various rich people who hire you.

You'll talk about almost everything with each other

You bring him to one of your safe houses for a home cooked meal after he tells you how he lives off of cereal. You were horrified. 

The Titans, Batman, and Alfred get really suspicious about Dick's new civilian friend. 

Slade gets suspicious of you frequently visiting certain cities. 

Somehow they figure out that you are the wraith. 

They all lecture Dick about it. 

Slade just finds the whole thing amusing and debates on whether he can actually convince you to give up some of Grayson's secrets. 

I just love the image of them casually hanging out in civvies with Batman questioning Dick's life decisions and what your has been influenced by his relationship with Catwoman while Deathstroke and Wintergreen are just quietly amused by the situation at some point they were worried about you discussing merc stuff but neither talk about current business unless it's safe to. 

Wintergreen isn't particularly worried since Grayson is a good kid. Wintergreen once joked that you should convince him to join their side. You said that Dick didn't have the right personality to be a merc. The irony of this was completely lost on your. 

You spending a ton of your hard earned mercenary money to win a stuffed toy that you think little Rose would want. Dick making fun of you for not getting it then he ends up spending too much money but he eventually gets it. You and Dick pass by a shop and you see the exact same stuffed toy in the shop window for a sixteenth of the fortune you spent at the arcade. Good news though, Rose still has the stuffed toy. 

 Both of you being petty at dance dance revolution. 

When you rant to each other in less than private areas, you rapidly switch languages.

Unbeknownst to Slade, Dick actually knows a bunch of his safe houses and unbeknownst to Dick, those are Deathstroke's safe houses.  You are technically not lying when you say it's yours. 

You have a silent pact not to blow each other's covers unless they deem it completely necessary (when people's lives are at stake). The only person who knows this pact is Jason and they have bought his silence. 

You will both go out of their way to help each other out of a bind. 

Sometimes when Bruce and Alfred are out of town and the stars align to have you visiting for a job, you end up helping Dick babysit. Jason gets confused and defensive at first. You have dealt with distrustful youngins. Neither Rose nor Joey wanted anything to do with you at first. You, however, grew up wanting siblings so you tried your darndest to look after them and it is really fucking hard to not let this munchkin grown on you. 

When you're old enough to hit the club they often go drinking together. You once tried to have you wingman for Dick. Using the ‘fantastic’ negotiating skills you got from mercenary work, you ended up getting the number for yourself. You once told Rose and Joey about it and both of them made lighthearted jokes about it. 

Dick gets confronted by Slade at sword point and asks what his intentions are with his kid (He honestly isn't at all serious but he likes how scared Dick got because the man is terrifying.)

Dick also gets interrogated by Joey and Rose because, you know, this is their big sister. 

You often insist on family dinners at least once every 2 weeks with your siblings, sometimes with their mom (Adeline is kind of not ok with you and Rose being present but is trying her best for Joey's sake), sometimes with their dad, occasionally with their uncle Wintergreen. 

You usually just casually call Slade 'pops'  and you drawls 'dad' when you’re pissed and 'papa' when you’re emotional. You try your damndest to only call him Slade or Deathstroke on the field but sometimes you slip up and calls him pops in the field

You have batnapped each batkid at least once. Batnapping meaning seeing a baby bat and throwing them over your shoulder when you’re pretty sure they’re going to get killed. This isn’t limited to kids. You still do this when they’re adults. The image of you throwing Dick over your shoulder when you two were tiny gives me life but you throwing Dick and/or Jason over your shoulder when they’re huge has me cackling.  

You basically accidentally become a de facto big sister/ mom friend to the batkids purely through your friendship with Dick.

Images from this scenario I can’t get out of my head:

Stargazing

Teaching Dick how to cook. He just ends up going to your place for a meal though. 

Running around during a rain storm huddled under a jacket with Dick because neither of you checked the weather

Casual affection you two share because you’re both tactile people. Casual affection as in just sitting on the couch in each other’s space, bumping shoulders to communicate, leaning on each other, hugging each other when greeting each other, and all that good stuff. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I’m really sorry for the grammar and disorganization. 

If you guys are interested in the more bickering dialogue heavy part 2 either comment here or send an ask or pm me. *shrugs* This is just really self indulgent on my part. 

taglist: 

@idkmanicantenglish

@birdy-bat-writes (I will stop tagging you when you run out of good ideas for me.)

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Forever

A Very Rogers Christmas.

Part 1- The Best Things In Life Are Tree.

Summary: It’s that time of year again and the Rogers family prepare to go and pick their Christmas tree. But when Emmy calls with a bit of bad news, it puts a little downer on the whole thing for Katie and Steve decides to call in reinforcements to pull off the best Christmas Heist he can…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here we go, Part 1 of my Stark Spangled 2020 Christmas special- A Very Rogers Christmas.  This one was written for for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and @sagechanoafterdark​ ‘s Winter/Holiday Challenge. My prompt- Finding the PERFECT Tree.

It feels like AGES since I wrote for my babies so I hope you enjoy this little three parter. Part 2 posting next Friday, and part 3 on Christmas Eve.

SSF Masterlist //  WIYPT Masterlist 

"Daddy, I found something else I want to ask Santa for, for Christmas." Rori bounced into the study and Steve closed his eyes on the papers he was trying to grade and sighed.

"I bet you have." He mumbled before he glanced up at his daughter and couldn't help but smile at her as she skipped over to him, her long pony tail swinging behind her "What is it, Princess?" "A capybara." she said, scrambling up onto his lap. "A what?" Steve frowned. "A capybara. Look!" she turned the tablet she was holding towards him to show him a picture of the brown animal "They're like huge guinea pigs. I saw one at the zoo with Uncle Buck yesterday and when I said I wanted one he told me to tell you that I was gonna ask Santa." "Course he did." Steve sighed, mentally cursing his asshole best friend. "You know, Rori, don't think Santa can get you one of those." "Why not?" "It’s too big." He attempted “There’s nowhere for us to keep it.” "Our garden is huge!" Rori blinked at him. "And when Emmy and Petey move into the Tower he can live in the cabin." Trust her to be as damned smart as her mother. "They're wild animals honey." Steve shook his head as he tried attempt number two. "But they live in a zoo." Rori looked up at him, her face full of eager excitement “That’s not the wild.” "Yeah but that’s different." Steve reasoned patiently. "They're not like dogs or cats or regular guinea pigs. They need very special care.” "Oh." Rori looked down a little, her shoulders slumping and Steve sighed.

Fuck you, Bucky.

"Okay. Never mind." She clicked off the screen of her tablet and turned towards Steve, looking up at him with those damned green eyes. "Do you think he could get me a kitty instead?"

No, just say no… "Maybe."

Way to go, Rogers. Rori's eyes lit up and Steve inwardly groaned. It was a well-known fact in their house that whenever Dad said maybe, it meant yes. Fuck.

“I love you Daddy!” she beamed, reaching up to press a kiss to his bearded cheek before she hopped off his lap and skipped towards the door “Oh, me and momma are going to make gingerbread men for tomorrow so we can have them when we decorate the tree.”

“Can’t wait baby.” He smiled

“Are you gonna be working tomorrow afternoon?” she asked a little shyly and he shook his head.

“No, I promise.”  He assured her. “All day tomorrow is family day.”

She gave him another huge smile, one that truly warmed his entire being as it made her look even more like his wife, and then headed out of the room, her feet pattering on the tiles of the hallway as she skipped back into the other part of the house. Steve exhaled and looked back down at the paper, groaning as he realised he’d lost his place. He’d been home early that afternoon hoping for more peace and quiet than he got in his office at the University to concentrate on getting through all these and for the most it had worked, until Jamie and Rori had arrived home from school full of it as usual. Katie had kept them out of his way for the most but the realisation that Christmas was well on the way had hit the eldest two and whipped them up into a fever.

Not that Steve particularly cared. He adored this time of year. It was Katie’s holiday and from the day after Thanksgiving the Christmas period started in full throttle in the Rogers household, and they’d picked tomorrow, 2 weeks before the schools broke up, to go and pick the trees for their lounge and hallway. He was a little disappointed that it hadn’t snowed yet, there had been a good covering the previous year but, still it was set to be a cold and dry day so they could still get bundled up and have their hot chocolate and snacks as usual.

He rubbed at his eyes and focussed, reading through the paper in front of him on the ‘Strategy, Diplomacy and politics of Axis and Allied forces in WW2’, wishing to God he was marking something on the course he was actually employed to teach now- Fine Arts- but all those had been done and graded last week. This was the module of History that he taught, because as the Uni said- he was a living, breathing expert.

Aparently.

An hour or so later he finished red-penning the final six paged essay, with a proud smile as that one had been particularly good and he quickly checked it over once more, making sure he’d captured all the notes on the electronic copy and queued it up to send on Monday, just like Katie had shown him how to, so that each student had the hard copy and soft copy back. He stood up, stretched, turned off his laptop and headed through to the main area of the house, the smell of baking and cooking hitting his nostrils as he went.

He walked into the kitchen to find Rori kneeling on one of the tall stools over the island-slash-breakfast bar, her hands and face smeared in pink icing as she decorated a gingerbread man, her little tongue poking out of the side of her mouth in concentration. Katie was stood supervising Harry who was also covered in frosting, this one bright green. Flossie sat in the highchair opposite, banging a spoon on the tray occasionally letting out a yell or babble of something incoherent. As soon as she saw Steve she gave a huge grin and her shouts became louder and he smiled.

“Hi Floss-Floss!” he beamed, crossing to drop a kiss to her head before he looked across at Katie “Where’s Jamie?”

“Upstairs in his room.” Katie gave a little sigh “He said, and I quote, ‘I’m ten now, far too old to decorate gingerbread, mom.’ I could have cried there and then Steve.” She finished with a pout.

Steve gave her a sympathetic smile, the fact her eldest baby boy was growing up was something he knew she hated “Yeah, I bet he won’t be too old to eat them, though.” He appeased and she smiled.

“That’s what I said.” Rori gave a dramatic roll of her eyes and Steve chuckled.

“You finished Grading?” Katie asked as she gently guided Harry’s hand over the cookie shaped like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah, all done. Sorry it took so long.”

“It’s okay.” She looked up at him, smiling “Your dinner is in the oven. I already ate with the kids. Sorry, I was starving.”

“I didn’t expect you to wait.”  Steve walked over the room and dropped a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks, Sweetheart.”

He made his way over to the Aga stove and opened the door, giving a little groan when he saw she’d done his favourite, a Mac and Cheese bake laced with chicken, chorizo and broccoli. He turned to look at her and didn’t miss the flicker of a smile on her face as she knew what he was thinking, before he pulled out the plate giving a yell as it burnt his fingers, dropping it onto the side with a clatter.

“Careful daddy, hot!” Harry turned to face him, and Katie burst out laughing.

“Yeah, thanks Son.” Steve tried not to roll his eyes as he sucked his thumb. Grabbing a tea-towel he gripped the plate, found some cutlery and sat down at the table to the side of the kitchen, tucking in.

“I finished all mine, Momma.” Rori grinned, placing the tube of squeezy frosting down on the side. Steve watched as Katie moved to look over Rori’s shoulder.

“Good job sweetie.” She smiled, “Creative, I’ve never seen a pink cat before.”

Steve paused and looked at Rori as she grinned “I know they’re not really pink, and my kitty won’t be, but it can have a pink collar.”

At that he winced and hastily shoved another forkful of food into his mouth, praying that the conversation stopped there.

Katie sighed “Rori we’ve been over this, you can’t have a cat.”

“Daddy said I could.”

Shit.

Katie’s eyes shot to Steve and he gave her his best innocent look, but from the way her features grew stern he knew he was utterly busted and he swallowed the food in his mouth which turned to cement in his throat.

“No, that’s not what I said.” Steve shook his head.

“You said maybe.” Rori shrugged “Same thing.”

“We getting a kitty?” Harry asked, looking at Katie.

“No.” she shook her head.

“But I asked Daddy if Santa would bring me one and he said maybe.” Rori looked at Katie.

“Well Daddy is wrong.” She glared at Steve and he visibly shrank in his seat. Katie’s green eyes narrowed before they turned back to Rori. “Santa can’t bring live animals. It’s in the rules.”

“What rules?”

“The Christmas Rules” Katie said quickly “No live animals. It’s not fair on them. They don’t like the sleigh.”

“But…”

“No buts Rori.” Katie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose “I’m sorry honey, but it’s not gonna happen.”

Rori pouted a little but she knew when she was beat and glanced down at the cookies on the tray before she looked up, grinning smugly. “I’ll just ask Uncle Bucky to get me one. He got me Dory.”

“Oh for the love of…” Katie spluttered “Uncle Bucky won’t get you one either.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll tell him not to.” Katie looked at her “We have Stark. No more animals.”

Rori folded her arms and at that point Steve stepped in, sensing an impending tantrum.

“Aurora.” He said sternly and she turned her head to face him as he pointed his fork at her. “Enough.”

She glared at him before she sighed and looked at Katie “Can I get down now please?”

Katie obliged and pulled her stool out a little allowing Rori to hop down. “Stay right there little miss.”

“Why?” Rori frowned as Katie headed to the sink, coming back with a cloth. With a groan, Rori held out her hands so Katie could wipe them clean, along with the little smear of icing on her face “20 minutes and then its bath time. We’re up early in the morning.”

“Ooh, yeah!” Rori bounced excitedly “To pick our trees. Hey, can I get one for my room?”

Katie hesitated before she shrugged “You know, I saw some in the shop that already have the lights on and they change colour. We’ll get a big one for the lounge and hallway like normal and I’ll get you a special one. And you get to keep it for next year and the year after.”

Rori pondered this for a moment before she shook her head “I want a real one from the farm.”

Katie groaned, and threw her hands out to the side “Fine, just, go and watch TV or something in the Play Room.”

“I watch TV too please, Momma?” Harry asked and Katie nodded, cleaning him up too before she lifted him down off the stool. He toddled after Rori, yelling for her to wait and as soon as they were gone Katie rounded on Steve.

“Honey, I…” he began and winced as she exploded on him.

“Seriously? A damned cat?”

“She caught me unawares.”

“She always catches you unawares!” Katie scoffed “After six, almost seven years I’d have thought you’d be used it by now.”

“I only said-“

“And as usual I’m left to be the bad guy.” Katie ranted, shaking her head as she moved to turn Flossie’s chair so she was facing the table. “You’re an asshole.”

“This is technically Bucky’s fault.”

“Oh, no, Steven Grant Rogers! Don’t you are try and blame this one on Buck.” She hissed.

“But he took her to the zoo and told her to ask for a capybara!” Steve practically whined “When I said no she asked for a cat, the maybe just slipped out.” Katie paused, her arms folded, face furious and Steve peered up at her giving her a little smile “Don’t be mad, come on baby. I didn’t mean it.”

“You’re still an asshole.” She grumbled, before she crossed to the fridge and pulled out the wine. “And for that you can deal with bedtime. I’m going for a bath.”

“Sure, not a problem.” Steve nodded, swallowing more of his food. Katie poured herself a large glass before she moved to put the bottle back and then changed her mind. With the bottle in one hand, full glass in the other she made for the door. “I love you.” Steve shot as she passed him, and despite her annoyed demeanour, the slight smile that played on her face told him he wasn’t in too much trouble.  

****

All kids were bathed and in bed little over an hour later. The youngest three settled down to sleep, Jamie instructed he had an hour of TV or reading time before lights off.

“Ok Dad.” He nodded, running his hand through his hair as he tidied up his games console a little, Stark curled up on the bed.

“I’ll be in to check.” Steve looked at him, and Jamie rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I got it. You can trust me.”

“I know.” Steve gave a chuckle “Night son.” He crossed the room to drop a kiss to his head and Jamie pushed him away.

“Gerroff, I’m ten.”

“Yeah, well, you’re still my kid so…” Steve grumbled, and Jamie burst into laughter as the pair of them began to play fight, Jamie digging Steve in the ribs with a well-aimed jab. “Ouch! “ Steve stood up, rubbing at his side, that had hurt a little too much for his liking. “Nice shot.”

“Bucky said I had a good right hook.”

Steve rolled his eyes “I don’t wanna know how he even found that out.”

“He has a punch bag in the garage.” Jamie shrugged as he flopped down onto his bed. “Like yours. He was teaching me to swing.”

“I could teach you that.” Steve replied, a little petulantly.

“Will you?”

“No. You’re ten.” He shot back and Jamie let out a groan of frustration, before Steve chuckled “Ok, I’ll teach you a little IF you promise not to use it anywhere but on the punch bag.”

“But what if I need to use it?”

“Well, that’s different.” Steve pondered, before he shook his head. “But you’re far too young to be getting into situations like that.”

“Uncle Buck said you were fighting people form the age of six. And getting your ass kicked.”

“Well, you do as I say…”

“Not as I do, yeah I got it.” Jamie grinned and Steve arched an eyebrow before he made his way to the door. He paused and turned back to look at his son, not for the first time taking in how damned tall and broad he was for his age. He pointed to Stark “Don’t let your mother catch him on the bed.”

“You know she says the same thing about you.” Jamie looked at him and Steve chuckled.

“I do, but let’s just pretend I don’t okay?”

“Okay, night dad. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Steve smiled, closing the door behind him.

He made his way back downstairs and into the lounge, and paused as he saw Katie talking into the laptop, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Don’t worry about it.” She said softly, and he could tell she was fighting to keep her face straight as Emmy’s voice came from the other side.

“I’m just gutted we can’t get home to come with you guys for the tree.”

“What’s going on?” Steve frowned as he sat next to Katie on the sofa, looking at Emmy and Peter as they both waved to him on the screen “Hey Kids.”

“The UK has been caught up in a huge snow storm.” Katie turned to him. “Their flight has been cancelled.”

“Bummer.” Steve’s frown deepened “Is there nothing from another airport?”

“Not in London.” Emmy shook her head “And the roads are that bad, even if we managed somewhere else…”

“Don’t wanna risk driving Mr R.” Pete shrugged and Steve had to give it to him, that was a sensible move.

“Wise decision.” Steve bit his lip, before he turned to Katie “Can we not get The Stark jet over? You guys should have used that anyway, not gone commercial.”

The irony of his statement didn’t pass him by, as there’d been a time when he had hated using a private jet as he felt it was ostentatious, but he’d fast learned to live with it as it was less hassle and a damned sight comfier and quicker too.

“I told you we didn’t want to.” Emmy shot back and Peter hastily cut in to prevent an argument.

“Already tried Happy before we called. He can’t get in any airfield be it private or other. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Katie shook her head “If you need anything just call. Have you got a place to stay?”

“Yeah, The Savoy found us another room.” Emmy shrugged before she grimaced “I’m gonna have to put it on my credit card though.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Katie shook her head “Just do what you gotta do, we’ll sort the bill out. Do you need us to wire you some cash or-“

“No, we’ve got enough between us for that.” Pete smiled “Just the hotel. We could get somewhere cheaper if that’s-“

“If it’s that bad out there you can stay where you are.” Steve shook his head. “Don’t worry about the money kids, it’s not important.”

“Just call us if you need anything.” Katie added.

“Thanks Mom. Look, we’re gonna go try and get something to eat and then sleep” Emmy sighed “It’s past 1 am now.”

“Sure, call us tomorrow okay, keep us updated.” Steve instructed and Emmy nodded.

“Will do. Love you both.”

“And you.” Katie smiled “Stay safe, and look after each other.”

“Got it.” Emmy grinned and with that she blew them both a kiss as Peter waved and the screen went blank.

Katie bit her lip before she tapped at the keyboard of her laptop “I’m going to send her some money, just in case. I know she has plenty in her savings, but…”

Steve nodded “Good idea. Those are for a rainy day, not a snowy one.”

Katie gave a small smile as she logged into the banking, and hesitated before she transferred a few thousand over to Emmy and closed the laptop, running her hands over her face. Steve saw her shouldes shake and he gave a sigh, pulling her to him.

“Hey, come on. They’re safe. In the poshest hotel known to man.” He pressed a kiss to her head “No doubt thinking this is some kind of huge romantic adventure. Snowed in, in London, with a mini-bar, room service.”

At that thought he grimaced, as his mind took him to a very dark place about just exactly what the spider kid would be doing to his daughter in said hotel room but he shook himself out of it as Katie spoke, sniffling a little.

“I know it’s just, well we started this tradition with Emmy that first Christmas she lived with us.” Her voice cracked “We went with Tony, Pep and Nat remember?”

“I could I forget.” Steve chuckled, his hands rubbing Katie’s back “You were almost five months pregnant and had that jumper on with a huge Christmas pudding on the front.”

“I’ve still got that.” Her voice was muffled as her face pressed into his Henley.

“And Pepper was going mad when Tony bought that nine foot tree for their lounge.”

“Ours wasn’t much smaller.” Katie laughed, leaning back to wipe her eyes. “You had to trim the top off.”

Steve chuckled, his hands cupping her face “A few days after that we found out bump was blue. Hello Jamie.”

“God it seems so long ago.”

“It was.” Steve smiled pressing a kiss to her lips. “11 years.”

“Yeah.” Katie looked at him “We’ve been through a lot since then.”

Steve nodded, as he wiped her face with his thumbs “And a lot worse than this. I know it’s disappointing, kitten, and I’m gutted as well, but it can’t be helped. We’ll still have a good time and we can go out with Emmy and Peter when they get back, nice meal and a few drinks somewhere instead, just the four of us. Start a new tradition now she’s all grown up.”

“Yeah suppose.” Katie sighed “I mean when they moved out in the New Year, they might not wanna come with us to get a tree anymore.”

“Like that’s gonna happen.” Steve snorted “She’ll simply be getting one for her own place. You know she loves Christmas as much as you. All the kids do. Because you make it so special.”

“It isn’t all down to me.” She smiled “You help.”

“It’s definitely your speciality.” Steve shook his head “You do the baking, the carols, the cooking…suss the decorations out.”

“Yeah, but you hang them. And you’re the one that started leaving Santa footprints by the hearth.”

“Okay so it’s a team effort.” Steve shrugged, dropping another kiss to her lips. “It always is when the kids are concerned.” He pulled back a little and nodded to her glass “You want another?”

“I wasn’t going to but yeah, now I do.”

Steve chuckled “I’ll go get us a drink, you find us something suitably Christmassy to watch.”

He stood, pressing his lips to the crown of Katie’s head before he wandered into the kitchen. As he closed the door behind him he pulled out his phone. He’d had an idea, but hadn’t wanted to mention it to Katie just in case it didn’t work…but if it did, well, he was going to reunite his family for their tradition and earn himself major husband points.

Win win situation.

“Hey punk.” Bucky drawled as he picked up.“What’s crackalackin?”

“God you talk some shit.” Steve rolled his eyes and Bucky laughed

“Sorry, we were watching Madagascar.”

“Yeah, I know where it’s from. I got five kids, remember. Six if I count you.”

“Well you could argue Diva Doll counts for two so you really have seven.”

“Yeah, speaking of which, I got a bone to pick with you about her and a damned capybara.” Steve narrowed his eyes as he spoke and there was a pause before Bucky burst out laughing. “Yeah, laugh it up, jerk. That got me in some major shit before.”

“You didn’t say yes?”

“No of course I didn’t.” Steve sighed “But she sideswiped me asking for a damned cat and I said maybe, so…”

“You fucking moron.”

“Whatever, listen, that’s not why I’m calling anyway.” Steve sighed, his voice growing serious. “I need a favour, Buck.”

“I’m listening.” Bucky replied, before Steve explained the predicament and possible solution. When he finished there was a pause and Bucky let out a long whistle. “Man, that’s…”

“I know, I know.” Steve sighed “But I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate. Katie’s heartbroken Emmy can’t get home.”

“Well, we can’t have the second most important woman in my life upset now can we?” Bucky replied “Leave it with me.”

“Cheers buddy.”

“You’ll owe me a life time of favours if I can pull this off.”

“We’ll call it quits for you almost getting me couched.”

“Not my fault you can’t say no to your likkle Princessa.” Bucky responded and Steve snorted.

“You’ve met her, right?”

There as another pause and Bucky laughed “Point taken.”

“Not a word to Katie.” Steve instructed “Just in case you can’t do it.”

“You seriously doubt me after all this time?” Bucky sighed “That hurts Stevie.”

“You know what else will hurt?” Steve shot back “My foot up your ass.”

“You want me to do this or not?” Bucky scoffed “Because threatening me aint gonna make me wanna do you any favours.”

“No but not wanting to see my wife upset is.”

“You fight dirty, Steven.” Bucky’s voice was low and Steve could imagine the narrowed eyes he was pulling as he spoke. “Okay, I’ll call Sam now. Leave it with me.”

“Thanks Buck.”

Steve cut the call and stuffed his phone back in his pocket, running a hand over his beard. Buck was right, it was a big ask and ridiculously over the top but, well, nothing was too much for him where his family was concerned. And after everything they’d been through this year what with Flossie’s horrific birth and Katie’s post-partum depression, his amazingly brave and gorgeous wife deserved the damned world. With a sigh he yanked open the fridge as he pulled out Katie’s wine and a beer for him, simply hoping that it worked.

**** “You good?” Steve asked as Jamie hopped into the back of the Q7, taking his place on the rear row of seats.

“Yup.” Jamie grinned “I prefer it back here, Rori can’t bug me.”

“Wanna bet?” Rori turned her head and peered at him from her place in the middle of the second row and Steve shot her a look.

“Enough. I hear one sound outta you that’s annoying him, we’re coming straight home.” He said sternly. Rori eyed him shrewdly, as if weighing up whether he was serious or not and he raised his eyebrows, challenging her.

“Ok Daddy.” She shrugged, turning back round. Steve shot Jamie a wink as turned and collapsed Flossie’s little stroller. He slotted it down the side of Jamie’s seat before he shut the trunk and then quickly inspected the roof rack. Satisfied he looked up just as Katie came out of the house, Flossie on her hip, Harry jumping down the steps in front of her. He headed over to his dad and peeked up, Steve giving a laugh as his little woollen hat slipped down over his eyes.

“Come here, buddy.” He said, swinging him into his arms. The little boy gave a giggle as Steve pulled his hat straight so he could see.

“Thanks Daddy!” he smiled and Steve pressed a kiss to his rosy cheek.

“No problem. You ready to get a tree?”

He nodded “Big one!” he threw his arms out wide and Steve nodded seriously.

“The biggest.”

Ten minutes or so later they were sailing out of Brooklyn in the winter morning sun, heading for the tree farm some forty or so minutes away. True to her word, Rori was behaving and chatting to Harry, Jamie was quiet in the back doing something on his tablet and Katie was gently humming to something on the radio. Steve’s hand reached over for hers and he entwined their fingers, gently bringing her arm across his body, pressing a kiss to her wrist.

The journey pass uneventfully and as Steve announced they had arrived the kids all gave a cheer. He parked the car up and then the disembarking began along with issued orders for Jamie and Rori to stay where they were as they sorted the youngest two.

“I think I’ll just carry Floss.” Katie glanced around. “Pushing her stroller is gonna be a pain. I’ll put her in the carrier.”

“You sure?” Steve asked “I would say I’d do it but…”

“You’re gonna be carrying trees, yeah I know.” Katie waved him away. “Its fine, she’s not heavy. Besides, she’ll be too big to do this with next year.”

Steve smiled at her wistful tone, and between them they had Flossie strapped to Katie’s back in no time, having become experts at it over the years. Katie glanced over her shoulder as Flossie gave her a hug grin, before she peeked around and started to gabble animatedly.

“Ready?” Steve looked around and held the hand that wasn’t containing the saw out, Rori taking it as Katie took Harry’s, Jamie falling into step at her other side next to Steve who strategically placed himself between his eldest son and Rori to avoid any potential arguments between the two siblings.

“Want me to take that Dad?” Jamie asked, nodding to the saw. Steve hesitated then shrugged, it had the safety cover on so he handed it over, Jamie slinging it over his shoulder proudly, stepping in front of them a little and Harry wriggled his hand free of Katie’s and ran forward to take Jamie’s. Jamie smiled down at him and Steve shared a glance with Katie as she smiled at him, slipping her hand into his. The family made their way to the entrance and as they approached the various little trade stands, one of which was selling various hot drinks and baked snacks. Katie took a deep breath and smiled, the warming scents of spices, cinnamon and pine hitting her nostrils.

“Smells exactly the same.” She beamed and then frowned as Steve was looking around, blatantly not listening to her as he was busy studying something to their right.

“Hey!” she tugged on his hand and he glanced down at her.

“Sorry, honey.” He diverted his attention “Just saw someone I know.”

“Oh, from work?” she asked.

“Not exactly.” He nodded in the direction he had been looking and Katie spun at the same time Rori let out a shriek.

“Emmy!” she yelled, wrenching her hand free of Steve’s and bolting towards her sister as she strode towards them alongside Peter, Bucky and Sam.

“I don’t-how?” Katie was struggling for words at the sheer emotion of seeing her eldest daughter, who should still be stranded in England, sweeping Rori into hug. “Steve? What?”

“You got Bucky and Sam to thank.” He said gently, as she spun between them all, before she strode forward meeting Emmy halfway and throwing her arms around her.

“Hey mom!” Emmy smiled, before she pulled back and gently waggled Flossie’s hand. “Hi Floss!”

“How did you get here?” Katie sniffed, wiping her eyes, chuckling before she gave Pete a hug.

“Quinjet.” Emmy grinned “It was awesome. Hey Dad!”

“Hey, sweetheart.” Steve swept her up into a huge hug, picking her up slightly off the ground kissing her head. “Nice to have you home.”

“Hold up, a Quinjet?” Katie looked at Emmy, then to Bucky who shrugged.

“Yeah well Steve rang me last night begging for my help…” he began, putting on a whiney voice “Please Buck, I can’t do this without you Buck, you know the usual.” Steve rolled his eyes as Bucky sniggered. “So, me and Birdbrain set off on a daring rescue mission.”

“Yeah, we totally used and abused Fury’s equipment.” Sam chuckled, as he pressed a kiss to Katie’s cheek as he gave her a hug. “He’s gonna be pissed when he finds out.”

“Oh, screw him!” Katie gave a laugh as she turned to Bucky, wrapping her arms round him. “Thank you so much!”

“Anything for you darlin’” he beamed before she stepped back and spun to face Steve, reaching up and grabbing his face. With a smile she pulled him down to meet her in a long, deep kiss.

“Thank you.” She whispered against his lips, and he beamed at her, his nose brushing hers. “I love you, so much.”

“Love you too.” He smiled, before he drew himself up, a little embarrassed at their PDA in front of his two friends and the kids. “Right, who’s ready to go tree picking?”

“We’ll leave you to it.” Bucky smirked as various excited shouts rang out around them. “I’ve got stuff to do with Jen and Sam’s…ahhhh, crap.” The smile on his face turned into a grimace and Steve spun round to see a familiar figure in a trench coat and eyepatch stood by a black SUV watching from a distance.

“Son of a-” Steve snorted, shaking his head as Fury started walking towards of them. “He still knows everything.”

“You have no idea. “Sam muttered.

“Oh, trust me, we do.” Katie grinned as Fury stopped in front of them.

“Someone wanna tell me why one of my jets was in London this morning?” Fury looked at Bucky, then to Sam, then to Peter, all three of them giving him an innocent look.

“Well, there was a thing.” Bucky shrugged “Emergency.”

“Emergency.” Fury dead panned “So nothing to do with a certain Miss Rogers and Mr Parker being stuck in London in snow storm?”

“How do you know this stuff?” Bucky looked at him.

“I told you Barnes, you wanna get one up on me you gotta keep both eyes open.” He levelled him with a look. “Happy called me in a flap to see if I could action a pick up and I told him I wasn’t running a damned Uber service. And then one of them went missing so I put two and two together and looks like I came up with four” He paused and shrugged, smirking a little “Plus, you forgot to wipe the mission log.”

“Damned it Tin Man!” Sam shoved Bucky “You dick, I told you!”

As the two men began to squabble Fury raised his eyebrows and turned to Steve and then Katie, a small smile flickered across his face “Nova, Cap. Long-time no see.”

“Hi Nick.” Steve smiled, reaching out and shaking his hand.

Fury jerked his head as Katie shook his hand, his eyes roving over each of their kids in turn. “I’ll say. You’ve been busy I see.”

Katie gave a huff “One way of putting it.”

Nick arched an eyebrow before he sighed and turned to Bucky and Sam who were still bickering. “Imma let this one slide.” He spoke loudly, the two men instantly turning to face him. “But only because it’s the holidays and I’m in a good mood.”

“You know technically Stark Industries owns half those jets. Tony paid for and designed a lot of the tech on them after all.” Katie quipped and Nick looked at her, before he let out a laugh.

“You’re more like your brother than you’ll ever care to admit” he shook his head as she snorted, pointing at her.

“Worse people to be like.” She smiled fondly, and Fury gave one last scoff before he turned to Sam and Bucky.

“I’ll see you two later. Now, imma go get me some churros then split.” He looked back at them all “Merry Christmas.”

As they all waved him off, watching the curious glances he attracted as he strode towards the hot food stand and then Harry tugged on Steve’s sleeve, causing him to turn his attention from Fury to the little boy.

“Daddy, who’s the pirate?” Harry asked.

There was a pause before Katie burst out laughing, Steve following suite as they both shared a knowing glance, remembering Tony’s fond little nickname for their one time director.

The Goth Pirate.

“He’s an old friend of mine and your momma’s “Steve explained before he glanced up, not surprised to find that once more Fury had disappeared from sight. “We haven’t seen him in a while. And I doubt we will again for a long time.”

There were more hugs shared and after another final thank you to Sam and Bucky, Katie demanding they come over later for drinks, the four remaining adults and four kids all headed into the farm and the chaos began as they began to scout for their perfect trees.

“So we need two large ones.” Katie spoke, “And one for Emmy and Pete in the Cabin and a smaller one for Rori’s room.” she paused “Jamie, did you want one for your room too?”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He shook his head “Thanks though.”

“So four over all.” Steve nodded. “Okay gang, let’s find us some trees.”

They decided to get Rori’s first as it would be smaller and easier to carry once they’d picked it. They set about walking down the various aisles, and before long the jokes started flowing and they were getting worse and worse with time.

“What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations?” Pete asked and Jamie looked at him, arching a brow. “Tinselitis.”

“Oh God.” Emmy snorted “That’s as bad as one of dad’s”

“Which reminds me.” Steve said, a smirk on his face, “Did you guys hear the forecast for Christmas eve? They’re predicting rain, deer…”

Katie and Emmy both let out a groan as Jamie and Peter howled with laughter.

“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop?” Jamie asked and Steve paused before he shrugged.

“No idea.”

“A rebel without a Clause…”

Katie, Steve, Emmy and Pete burst out laughing as Pete held out his hand to hi-five him. Jamie grinned.

“That’s a good one buddy.” Steve chuckled. “Where did you hear that?”

“Moo text me before.” He smiled “She said her and Auntie Pep had been googling them to put in their cards this year.”

“Like Father like daughter.” Katie smiled to herself, a little nostalgically as a memory of her brother crashed over her and Steve pulled her a little closer, his hand tightening on hers as he dropped a kiss to her head.

After half an hour or so of scouting and plenty of excited shouts and laughter, Rori paused in front of a tree that was the same height as her and she gave a gasp.

“Daddy, that one.” She pointed.

“You sure?” he cocked his head to one side. The tree was leaning to one side, the branches completely uneven, sticking out at all angles and the top was bent. “It’s a bit-”

“It’s perfect.” Rori insisted.

“Okay Princess, whatever you say.”  He looked at Katie as she smiled, her hand dropping to the back of Rori’s head. “Jamie, you got the saw?”

“Yup.” Jamie nodded, passing it over and they all watched as Steve gripped the trunk of the small tree with one hand a little higher up and began to cut it towards the bottom. He could have easily snapped the trunk with his bare hands but he played the part and in four strong swipes it pulled free with a little crack and Rori gave a shriek and clapped her hands.

“I love it!”

Once the safety cover was back on the saw they continued their search, walking towards the slightly bigger trees they spotted and Katie paused in front of a large, Norwegian spruce and reached out, gently crushing one of the needles between her fingers. She took a sniff and stepped back, nodding.

“That one.”

“I still can’t believe you pick them with the smell.” Steve shook his head.

“It’s not all the smell.” She protested “There’s a lot to consider. The height, width and spacing of the branches…this one’s just right for the corner in the lounge. And that one two down will do for the hallway.”

Steve chuckled, knowing better than to argue. “Positive?”

Katie nodded and once more Jamie passed him the saw. This time they all stepped back as Steve crouched down on the ground, expertly cutting the trunk and just the right place. As he took the final swipe, the tree pitched over to a loud shout of “Timberrrrr” from Jamie and Peter and it landed with a thud.

Harry gave a loud cackle and clapped, Flossie shrieking too as Steve then moved two down and repeated the action with a slightly smaller one that would sit in the entrance lounge directly in front of the photo of the pair of them at their wedding, so it would be the first thing anyone saw as they walked into the house.

Emmy strode past the tree to one that was behind it and then nodded to Pete “I think this one will do. I kinda like the way it fans out at the bottom.”

“Sure, Em.” He smiled “Mr R?”

“Oh, here.” Steve handed him the saw and watched as Pete cut his and Emmy’s first Christmas tree down, his arm round Katie’s waist, lips softly kissing Flossie’s cheek as the baby grinned. He arched an eyebrow as Emmy pressed a kiss to Pete’s lips, giving a soft huff as Katie dug him in the ribs, shooting him a warning glance which he returned with an innocent one of his own.

“Well, that was easy.” Emmy commented “It took us 2 hours last year.”

“They need to be right.” Katie shrugged simply, Steve and Emmy exchanging a look before Steve watched as Pete hoisted his tree easily onto his shoulder. It still surprised Steve how strong Peter was, even though it shouldn’t, he knew he was enhanced after all.

“I’ll take Rori’s, Dad.” Jamie stepped forwards, puffing his chest out a little, picking the smaller tree up easily and placing it on his shoulder, in an identical manner to Pete. Steve actively fought the urge to laugh as Jamie began to walk besides Peter and Emmy, clearly proud as punch at being able to help before he turned to Katie.

“Don’t say it.”

Katie laughed “Oh I’m gonna.” she smirked “If he was any more like you I’d be convinced he was a clone.”

Steve snorted as he bent down and easily lifted their two trees onto his shoulders, before they followed a little slower due to Harry being with them. Steve maneuvered around the other tree pickers as they went, his boot clad feet traipsing on the damp of the ground as they made their way back towards the main entrance and joined Pete, Emmy and Jamie at the place ready to pay. As the various helpers, all dressed in little Elf outfits bustled around to wrap their trees and strap them to the roof of the Audi, Katie was suddenly struck with a little problem.

“Hang on.” she turned to Emmy as she thanked the man who’d been dealing with and handed over the cash. “How are you two gonna get home if Bucky and Sam left?”

At that Pete gave a little grin and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket, “Mr Wilson let me borrow his Chevvy.”

“Yeah they went home on Buck’s bike.” Emmy shrugged and at that Steve let out a huge laugh.

“What?” Katie asked.

“Sorry, I’m just picturing those two riding pillion.” He snorted “I give it five minutes before Sam ended up tells Buck to let him off on account of him driving his Ducatti like a maniac.”

“You’ve no room to talk.” Katie scoffed and Steve looked at her with mock outrage.

“Mom?” Jamie asked and Katie turned to him “Can we get a drink now please?”

“Sure, come on.” She smiled and they headed over to the stall. She purchased a hot cider each for her, Steve, Emmy and Pete before hot chocolate for each of the kids along with a selection of donuts, churros and Stollen as Steve took Flossie back to the car so they could pop her in the stroller. They made their way over to one of the benches by the side and sat down and Steve returned, parking Flossie besides them before he handed her a piece of a donut and slipped his arm round Katie, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“You have a good time?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She beamed, before she glanced over at the other side of the bench. Jamie was settled to Emmy’s left, talking to her about school, as she nodded along whilst Rori was perched on Peter’s knee as she animatedly told him about how she was going to decorate her tree in unicorn colours. Harry meanwhile sat in between both Pete and Emmy, his little frame chewing on a donut as he grinned at his parents who smiled back. Katie turned to look a Steve again, leaning up to kiss him softly “It’s been perfect, thank you for making sure we were all together.”

“Well it wouldn’t be a Rogers Christmas otherwise would it?” he smiled, kissing her again.

“Get a room.” Emmy grumbled and Steve turned to her as she smirked, shoving a piece of donut in her mouth.

“Watch it young lady.” Steve pointed at her.                      

“Daddy.” Rori asked “Can I go with Pete in their car to Target? I need decorations for my Princess Tree.”

Steve hesitated for a while and Pete hastily cut in “It’s no bother Mr Rogers.”

“Yeah we need some for ours.” Emmy nodded.”So we’re going anyway.”

“I come too?” Harry asked hopefully and Emmy shrugged

“If Momma and Daddy say it’s ok, course you can, squirt.”

Steve looked at Katie who shrugged “Fine by me. Sure you can manage them?”

Emmy rolled her eyes “They’re no bother.” She then turned to Jamie “You wanna come too?”

“Hell no.” he said hastily, peering round at Rori before he shook his head “I’m going home for some peace and quiet.”

Both Steve and Katie let out a loud laugh, as Katie shook her head “Oh Jamie.”

“What?” he frowned.

“Nothing pal.” Steve smiled, reaching for his cider. “Nothing at all.”

#ssholidaychallenge #sageandsweater