#NotTheOnion

[generallemarc]

A mod on r/nottheonion is deleting stories that make the left look bad

Either that or there's some other, wider-ranging problem of mass deletions that all my posts are getting swept up in. My posts about Canada's new hate speech laws and that thing in Toronto with the cops advising residents to let their keys get stolen got nuked within minutes. I used to love that place, but it would appear it's been powermodded.

[brightlotusmoon]

The murderous cat you live with is a murderous cat, a study shows : NPR

https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/18h40mo/the_murderous_creature_you_live_with_is_a/

[cavenewstimes]

“Gay furry hackers” attack Heritage Foundation and release sensitive data related to Project 2025

Open navigation Go to Reddit Home Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit Open settings menu Log In / Sign Up Advertise on Reddit Shop Collectible Avatars Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Or check it out in the app stores Go to nottheonion r/nottheonion r/nottheonion For true stories that you could have sworn were from The…

[slices-of-random-obsession]

https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/s/87ZeSO4vCa

Well. That's depressing.

[dsdraws]

Sketchdaily - Draw a headline from /r/nottheonion

British Airways passengers fed KFC chicken – a leg each – on 12-hour flight to London

[gayteensupreme]

they removed my reddit post jerry! they removed it! yeah, the r/nottheonion one! why? i dont know why! didnt break any rules! 2 point 5 k upvotes, jerry! gone, just like that!

[ricardotomasz]

Such is life! Behold, a new Post published on Greater And Grander about Scientists Discover There's A Parallel Dimension Where You're Actually Successful

See into my soul, as a new Post has been published on http://greaterandgrander.com/scientists-discover-theres-a-parallel-dimension-where-youre-actually-successful

Scientists Discover There's A Parallel Dimension Where You're Actually Successful

In a groundbreaking discovery, scientists have found evidence of a parallel dimension where you are actually successful. Yes, you, reading this article right now.

According to the researchers, this alternate universe is strikingly similar to our own, with only one major difference: in this parallel dimension, your dreams and aspirations are not dashed by failure and mediocrity.

"We were absolutely stunned by what we found," said lead scientist Dr. Jane Smith. "In this parallel dimension, the reader of this quote is actually able to achieve their goals and live fulfilling lives without the constant struggle and disappointment that we experience in our own universe."

The scientists first became aware of this alternate dimension after conducting a series of experiments with a highly advanced quantum computer that both exists and doesn't exist at the same time. By using the computer to simulate different scenarios and outcomes, the researchers were able to identify a pattern of accomplishment that seemed to exist in a separate dimension.

Further research and experimentation confirmed the existence of this alternate dimension, where you are able to overcome obstacles with ease.

"It's like a dream come true," said Dr. Smith. "In this parallel dimension, the reader is able to achieve their full potential without the constant roadblocks and setbacks that plague them in our own universe."

While it remains unclear how or why this parallel dimension exists, the scientists are already planning further research to explore its possibilities.

"We are truly excited by the potential of this discovery," said Dr. Smith. "Soon we may even find a universe where the reader doesn't disappoint their mother."

#AugmentedReality, #Comedy, #DossierCreation, #Education, #Entertainment, #Fiction, #Lifestyle, #News, #NotTheOnion, #Parody, #Science, #ScienceFiction, #Technology, #TheOnion, #Transmedia

[daemonhxckergrrl]

"omggg you're so stupid if you can't tell this is satire !! it's a joke post you idiot !!"

r/nottheonion would like a word

[kamikazepizza]

Ez amellett, hogy szomorú volt, zseniálisan vicces húzás a 444-től. Mármint a két cikk egymás mellé tevése.

[sarcasticcynic]

Nope, not The Onion.

Texas has seen a substantial uptick in parents demanding vaccine exemptions for their kids. Dr. Peter Hotez, a pediatrician and scientist who develops neglected disease vaccines for the world’s poorest people, responded thus:

“Children of #Texas have been placed in harm’s way for the financial gain of special & outside interest groups. Calling on our TX elected leaders to say ‘NO MAS’ and stand up for our children!”

One of those elected leaders, Republican Jonathan Stickland, promptly accused Dr. Hotez of being in the pocket of Big Science:

“You are bought and paid for by the biggest special interest in politics. Do our state a favor and mind your own business. Parental rights mean more to us than your self enriching ‘science.’ #txlege”

Dr. Hotez politely replied, “Sir, as you know, I don't take a dime from the vaccine industry.” Stickland ignored the inconvenient facts, doubled down on his own false accusations, and--yes, really!--called vaccines “sorcery” and Dr. Hotez’s support for them “disgusting”:

“Make the case for your sorcery to consumers on your own dime. Like every other business. Quit using the heavy hand of government to make your business profitable through mandates and immunity. It’s disgusting.”

Those weren’t nearly enough insults for Stickland, though:

“Stickland continued the onslaught with others happy to engage the fight. In a span of an hour, he tweeted that vaccines are ‘dangerous,’ that a doctor concerned about the child’s vulnerability to disease is a ‘brainwashed commie’ and that a defender of science is a ‘typical leftist trying to take credit for something only The Lord God Almighty is in control of.’”

[stillwithhernothim]

#DemonSperm Something the GOP have apparently been drinking a lot of.🤤 #Repost @crystal_tyler_milsap ・・・ Welcome to the club, loser. . #EverythingTrumpTouchesDies #NotTheOnion #Hydroxychloroquine #LatinasForTrump #LatinosForTrump #WomenForTrump #AfricanAmericansForTrump #25thAmendment #MikePence #FoxAndFriends #MelaniaKnauss #DonaldTrumpJr #TrumpNation #TrumpGirl #MagaLife #Breitbart #DeepState #MaraLago #IvankaTrump #MalaniaTrump #ConservativeMemes #WomenForTrump #HispanicsForTrump #LaraTrump #KimberlyGuilfoyle #JaredKushner #ObamaGate #TrumpVirus #FoxNews https://www.instagram.com/p/CDQXExEgPmR/?igshid=1g2rcv5wwkq3a

[saltpeanutslive]

(Via r/nottheonion.)

[cavenewstimes]

Runner disqualified as OC Marathon winner for receiving water from dad during race

Open navigation Go to Reddit Home Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit Open settings menu Log In / Sign Up Advertise on Reddit Shop Collectible Avatars Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Or check it out in the app stores Go to nottheonion r/nottheonion r/nottheonion For true stories that you could have sworn were from The…

[skate-the-onion]

I’m back!

I finished doing the thing (which was awesome btw) and I’m back home now just in time for CoC. Looking forward to hanging out with y’all for the 2019-2020 season!

[mmirrors]

Live and Let Die plays as Trump visits mask factory without a mask

Live and Let Die plays as Donald Trump visits mas…: https://youtu.be/o2ISK4bk1g0

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/06/trump-live-and-let-die-mask-factory-video?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Post_to_Tumblr