#Not the dead grandma the other one
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I am buying an expensive painting of my grandmas farms' mountain view I just want her to remember it before she dies
#Not the dead grandma the other one#She has alzheimers and doesnt recognize anyone... but I think she might recognize those mountains especially when painted tangible#I hope I really hope she might. Get some kinda familiarity from the paint strokes etc#Bc I used to work at the familhhotel and they had a painting. Lit up from behind the wall. So it always glowed#You could really feel the shadows because every thick stroke of paint created depth. And they're an incredible mountain!#I think she remembers the mountain because she always lived there and even as a little girl (which she almost is now) she had those mountai#She doesnt remember her daughter (my mom) but they both know that specific mountain#And this grandma had incredible photography talent and I didnt know until it was too late and I just want her to see something#That makes her happy. Even if she doesnt understand. I just want her to be happy not knowing her family. Fuck god damn augh
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Telling the league about my ex-boyfriends and they’re all horrified ✨💖⭐️💕☺️
#the one who on date pretended to be possessed by my dead grandma#the other one who was more attracted to his own mom than to me#the other other one who got high on shrooms at 2am and started yelling at me over Facebook messenger#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#league of villains
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#tw for death and wakes and funerals and grief#also tmi because I’m using tumblr as my diary again.#as one does. sorry.#so anyway…backstory.#my grandma and grandpa had open casket wakes that are like very traumatic in my memory so when my other grandma died I chose not to see her#(she only had a funeral and no wake)#and I’ve never regretted that#mom had a closed casket wake today with the opportunity for immediate family to see her before they closed the casket.#and because I saw her the night she died and it was very traumatizing I kind of waffled between seeing her or not#then I landed on I should see her because it might help me to see her dressed and cleaned up.#except.#I think it kind of made it worse because she looked nothing like herself and she looked so waxy and cold.#but also if I hadn’t seen her I think I would have spent a long time regretting not saying a last goodbye#so it’s like. I don’t regret it but also think I’ve worsened my own dead mom trauma.#anyway. sorry for the overshare. funeral tomorrow and then I am going to sleep and sleep and sleep.#miss you mommy#ktp
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Despite how much I suffered making my last isat au Aris sprite redraw, I decided to do it again and once again went through hell doing it. There’s like a billion mistakes in this (such as her having the wrong arm rip) but at the end of the day I’m still happy with how it turned out :]
#keese draws#oc#oc art#eternal gales#isat#in stars and time#sorry for main tagging feel free to excecute me if you want or whatever#grips sink cringe is dead cringe is dead cringe is dead#anyways this is a very fuzzy and vague au as I don’t rly feel comfortable going off too hard with this one#this is pretty much entirely because I know I’d have to fuck around with the worldbuilding a decent amount and I don’t rly wanna do that#Isat’s worldbuilding is one of my favorite parts of isat so I don’t wanna fuck it up yknow?#I might do some other sprite redraws once I stop thinking too hard abt aris and tali#for context tali is the king aka complicated design that makes me wanna cry especially since I made it worse by changing her imagery#instead of having tears as a thing she has like. fracturing if that makes sense?#it’s supposed to be a nod to her ‘cracked’ eye in canon#she also has threads coming from her limbs instead of long hair for similar reasons#also she doesn’t have straight hair so yknow#but yeah for additional context aris and tali are half sisters and they make me go insane#in this au the idea would be that when their grandparents divorced when the two were little tali and their grandma left the island#aris wouldn’t leave until five or so years later when she was around 12#at which point the island disappeared and all that#the two have mostly completely forgotten about eachother but there still is familiarity between them#tali isn’t any less of a piece of shit than the king in this au tho#aris for a brief moment almost remembers who tali is during act 3 but she dies before she can fully grasp it#which almost hurts more to her despite not even knowing what she was trying to recall#during act 5 her inner sadness fight is against the hazy image of a very young tali 👍#just tiny 5 year old tali using the voices of the others to scream at aris that she’s been nothing but a burden to them all#and that she’s done nothing but hurt them in her selfish attempts to fix a problem that she refuses to admit she caused#and that time and time again she’s lied that she’s doing her best to protect them and that she’s failed all of them#it’s a mix of current guilt and her hazy but longstanding guilt towards tali
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does anyone else not really know much about their family but sometimes someone will drop facts like oh yeah your great aunt got a divorce but denied it until the day she died, however i found the divorce paperwork when going through her stuff soo i have proof. like. i didn't even know this lady was married. go back a step. i never even saw a man around her.
my parents just said a last name i didn't recognise and i was like lol who are you talking about?? and i named a character from a really popular movie with that name as a joke. and they were like that's your grandmas maiden name?? what's wrong with you? ok. well. that's news to me. my bad
#everything i know about my family has come out of nowhere#no one has ever sat me down and gone hey here's who these people are#they're just like this is grandma (dead) nana (dead) grandpa (dead) and other grandpa. they are grandparents. that's it#i don't even fucking know what ANY of them did for work#i haven't got that lore drop yet#i'll just be minding my own business and someone will go you know how xyz did this?#and i'm like no what the fuck what do you mean??#that's how i learn anything in this family
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Morbid fun fact! When a person dies, they frequently have money in their pockets that's ofc returned to their families with the rest of their personal effects. When copper pennies (1983 and before, I believe) are exposed to the decomposition process for an extended period of time they take on a red hue, and if wiped with a wet paper towel, it will also come away a rust color.
And these families don't tend to keep that money, so... it ends up back in circulation.
Some day I aim to find a corpse penny.
#liz blogs#morbid#source: my dad used to work with dead bodies and does this lol#truly money is filthy. sadly there is no way to test the other coins#modern money ''turns to mush'' as my dad said. thanks#so anyway if you find a red penny and it Does The Thing then wash that bitch. and your hands#thinking about this because i thought i found one at my grandma's house but naw#other things can cause a penny to turn red but only a corpse penny will Wipe red
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sometimes it hits me again that melina and sam are second cousins and i can never stop laughing abt it bc. well. sure she has a surface level problem w sam (read: she ‘doesn’t like her’ bc amber doesn’t like her n melina will be damned if she misses out on those brownie points) but that’s not even the issue. it’s the fact that of all ppl in their like tiny 2 streets and a cornfield population of 15 on a good day town, she has to share a (obvi distant in her case) relative with fucking tara 😭
#like my girl is always in a mf situation 😭#hates tara w the fire of a thousand suns LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL HER#tara’s deadbeat half sister she only Vaguely knows abt rolls up in town after tara gets jumped#melina gets stabbed in the shoulder by her own girl but thats another issue the SAME DAY#only after that does her dad think to be like#oh hey by the way. ur grandmas dead sister nancy? nancy loomis.#her dead sister’s dead son we literally have never mentioned by name? billy loomis!#so that might be why you got stabbed. whoops. we kinda did not ever wanna tell u but maybe we shouldve!#she gets like .5 seconds to process that b4 sam rounds the group up for Baby Daddy Billy Lore Drop#and SAM is the one shes indirectly related to like this still gives her#no relation to tara whatsoever. she just doesnt mf like it#bc its still Too Close and she wants tara DEA-#its such a hyperspecific problem to have too 😭 like its rlly a nonissue SHE would just absolutely get stuck on it#JUST bc of that detail. like if sam was idk liv’s half sister or smth or other#it literally wouldnt matter 😭#— ♡ 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥'𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦! // melina bates.#— slasherverse posting.
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I been gardenin
#you cant see bc im too lazy to retake the pic but#the lil mama (mother of millions) in the big pot has a handful of seedlings underneath it now!#they all appeared so fast so i decided to finally repurpose an old pot my grandma had some dead plants in#and moved them there bc. i expect them to grow big and fast so that should be wide enough#the inside had pictures of goldfish in it it was so pretty#and my sunflower seedlings came up real fast the one that had the shell on it is doing. Really really good#im hopin my other seeds come up but for now this is good :) my other plants are doin ok but the heat needs to let up#bc my white rabbit fern is gettin sunscorched on the bad days#ohhh and me n my girl are goin to a bonsai convention in Louisiana soon so im hopin to bring back one for the house#mag.txt
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#i doubt i'll be able to sleep now because i am full or rage right now and i want to go murder my father#that said... i am feeling better than last night when i couldn't pinpoint my emotions lol#last night i was worried i wasn't sad/worried enough and thus not normal#tonight i'm planning murder so i know i can still feel shit sjnfjsg#anyways my entire body is boiling hot and my head hurts now so that's not fun but whatever#i wish death upon my father and my uncle can go eat shit too (although I have no proof to justify those feelings lol)#i have no family... none#my aunt and uncle from one side are the shittiest people i have ever met and their son is a monster#my father is the most pathetic little worm on the face of the earth who sometimes manages to conjure up feelings in me#feelings of hate and rage#my uncle on that side is another pathetic little useless man who doesn't really conjure up any feelings in me#my grandma is dying but even when she was alive she had what i can only assume were mental health problems which made her push everyone away#the rest of the grandparents are dead#the only woman in my family who had some amount of kindness and love was my grandma from my stupid ass father's side#and i sadly didn't appreciate her enough while she was living :/#that's it... the only loving kind and understanding people left are my mom and my brother...#it's us three against the fucking world huh?#fuck that's depressing...#anyways...#i'm gonna try to distract myself with other shit until I can't be awake anymore#fingers crossed that happens soon (and that i die in my sleep)#angel talks#personal
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anon, I am so sorry, I tried to publish this but tumblr ate the post AND the ask 🙃 so I hope you see this!
okay okay so. I tried to answer this ask so many times but I kept getting stuck because my brain wouldn't work unless it was part of An AU. so obviously I drafted in @lu-sn to help, assume anything good or fun or clever in this response was her doing
Here's what we got: post-canon, the outbreak starts slow. Infections are just freak accidents at first, but eventually there's so many it starts to cause panic. The compound is well protected and well-stocked with both resources and weapons, so they hide out for as long as they can, essentially locking down the place, but not before consolidating their assets: Vegas, Pete and Macau are brought in for their own protection.
Eventually, it becomes clear that the situation is only getting worse, and the only viable option is to get out of Bangkok while they still can. Korn, the pragmatic forward thinker, already has an Escape The City plan in place, which he triggers just as zombies are breaching the walls. He calls helicopters in to get everyone to safety, and during the chaos of the evacuation ends up killed. If anyone saw Namphueng push him into the horde, they don't mention it.
They're deposited somewhere far from the city, presumably a safehouse with a lot of land around it, and have to try and figure out how to survive not only the zombies, but living with each other for the foreseeable future. The priorities are self-sufficiency and protection, and not killing each other before the zombies do.
Kinn and Vegas make a surprisingly good team on the logistics side of things, Kinn has the loyalty of his men and a good head for large scale organisation, whereas Vegas has much more experience working on the ground level of business, making sure everything is running smoothly and efficiently. There's definitely a learning curve, and a lot of this survivalist stuff is very much out of their sphere of knowledge, so-
Porsche and Pete are invaluable when it comes to the day-to-day. Coming from lower income backgrounds, they have so much more to offer in terms of practical knowledge, how to make food stretch longer, mend clothes, get enough nutrients from limited supplies etc. We saw in episode 6 that Porsche has some legitimate survival skills, so I think those are essential things he can bring to the table and teach to others.
Basically everyone is a good shot and can play their part in protecting their little commune, but it's frequently Porsche, Pete and Kim who leave in search of resources, information and survivors. There's much less hierarchy between family and guards now, there can't be when everyone needs to work together to have a hope of survival, but Kinn is still the de facto leader and Vegas is still recovering from his injuries, so these three end up as the primary scout team.
Kim needs to learn to rely on other people most of all. At the beginning he would disappear for days at a time, take too many risks, and although his kill count was ten times anyone else's he would come back to a hysterical Tankhun, disappointed Kinn and quiet, withdrawn Chay. After that he stopped going out alone.
Lu came up with the galaxy brain take that Tankhun might cope surprisingly well with the apocalypse, the violence of mindless creatures being much easier to conceive of than the deliberate, cruel violence of humans. It's freeing, in a way, to know there's no malice behind the ongoing threat. Despite being the least suited to this kind of life he takes Chay and Macau under his wing, and the levity he brings is as valuable as his perceptive wisdom.
Okay uh this got away from me a bit and has sort of become a fic premise/outline but I hope it still answered your question?!
#answer#anon#kinnporsche#kp orig#YIKES NONNY I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS RESPONSE IS THIS LATE *AND* TUMBLR FUCKED ME OVER WHEN I FINALLY ANSWERED IT#other stuff we came up with: porsche also tries to collect tem and jom but they're missing by the time he calls#he does manage to find yok though who comes with them#time and tay are part of mafia families and have their own escape plans#arm fixes up the tech they have and turns to more engineering pursuits#pol should probably be dead but i don't want him to be so instead he survives via a series of comedic scooby doo esque hijinks#if ken was alive he would be That One Bitch who gets bit and doesn't tell anyone about it#if porsche and pete didn't have people they loved they would be GREAT survivalists out in the wastelands on their own#pete DOES threaten to kill people to go get his grandma and has to be talked out of it#(he goes anyway)#(macau helps him escape and then also helps vegas to follow him)#(and then he also follows them both)#(it turns out grandma is VERY helpful to have around because she knows lots of folk remedies and practical manual skills)
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Learning new things abt my family is just like. *softly whispered* what the fuuuuuuckkkkk
#Girl what do you mean you have five siblings that died in infancy 😭#og#(my grandma)#Also she told me abt her dead babies. Yay?#I already knew abt one but never heard of the other
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OTL.
#shrimp thoughts#bad person confession: i was never taught to do anything at home#my mother would bring me food and do all the dishes and clean everything on her own and then complain that i don't do shit#and on one hand i'm resentful because she made me into a completely useless worthless thing rather than a human person#on the other hand her foolproof way of cleaning right about everything is 'pour cleaning agent and forget'#stains? streaks? oh it's not my fault i didn't know :( i thought you can leave bleach on stuff until the heat death of the universe :(#so maybe i actually lucked out.#anyway grandma gave her toilet stylish blue streaks so i guess it's genetic.#i'm not going to wish i was dead. i'm not going to wish i was dead i'm going to write my fic and then go and buy hand cream and fried rice.#i'm not going to wish i w ah fuck relapsed
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they should invent a grief thats uncomplicated and purely cathartic to experience. has anyone thought of this before
#cw death#not to be ungrateful that when i get tired of 'feeling guilty abt putting off ur trip to go see family until the summer bc u didn't want to#have to deal w international travel over winter break and now ur grandma who u haven't seen in 8 years is dead' i can distract myself with#'being furious that your family wasn't going to tell u she died until u came home for the summer' or 'giving urself a headache abt whether#you're even allowed to be upset that she died when u grew up hearing stories abt how horrible she was to ur mom' or#'being irrationally and unfairly jealous that your dad has multiple siblings who could all take turns checking in on her and sitting with#her in the hospital bc u definitely will not get that when ur parents die' or 'getting paranoid abt how ur OTHER set of grandparents#might die and/or go fully blind before u get to see them (also for the first time in 8 years) this summer'#like. not to be ungrateful to have so much enrichment to choose from in my enclosure#but have we considered just like.....being sad. and that's it.#lmao literally as i was writing this my mom texted me 'it's already happened just move on' so BACK TO SQUARE ONE!#anyways like it's fine lol. we (obviously) were not close. and also she was a full 98 years old lmao like it was her time.#but also truly. what goes on lol
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So apparently there is a whole freaking comic series for Scary Godmother and it isn't a want but a NEED
#Idk that was my childhood I had looked forward to it every Halloween when it was on#I might end up collecting them in the future so I can place it right next to my favorite children books that you can pry from my cold dead#hands ANYWAY the books are Humbug Witch and the other one I can't remember but they were monsters or something like that???? I inherited#them from my grandma and like they are such a treasure#because I would read them ungodly amounts#torment speaks///
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oh to be part of the coppola family
#sophie's diary entry#be thqt 3rd gen director#my cousin be nicholas cage#my grandma be an oscar nominated actress#my other cousin have kissed anne hatheaway#a dead uncle#interesting family gatherings#a musician from one of my fav bands#francis coppola !!!
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I've just realised that when my mother dies, I'll be the oldest person in our family (as in, the people who are related to me who I'm in contact with/ever see at all). that's.... weird
#my sister-in-law is a few years older than me but she's also only in her thirties#and obviously not related to me#my dad's dead. my uncle's dead. my only grandma who I was close to is dead. we're not in contact with anyone else anymore.#the only other person I'd even know how to find is my cousin#that feels really weird. I'm not an adult. I'm completely clueless. I have no idea what I'm doing ever.#and still my mother only thinks about how hard it is for *her* that everyone her age has died... sorry but you don't think it might be hard#for us too? more than one person can be affected by that but sure you're the only one who is.#and her own mother died when my mother was 50! she had contact with all her extended family until then and she chose not to after that! so#she's the one who caused that but still we need to feel sorry for her.#anyway#maybe she'll live to be super old. that'd be typical... but it doesn't seem likely#idk. it's not like it'll make a difference. she's never helped me with anything so it'll be one less thing to deal with...#maybe I'll finally feel free then#or maybe it's too late for that#personal
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