#Not sure if I'll keep the tag but let's try to keep this shit organized for now.

[sapphiredragonprincess]

Sapph’s random commentary while reading Murderbot 01, because I already wrote it, so may as well post it (ch 1-3):

"The hostile that had just exploded up out of the ground had a really big mouth, so I felt I needed a really big gun." Murderbot, I barely know you, but I already love your narration. (Part 2, because part 1 was all of the first paragraph.)

I LOVE his sidetracking and his humor. The whole looking up "cilias" to figure out if he was using the right term (in the middle of an emergency!) and mocking (not just humor, but also reproach?) the kind of "education" he received, my god, delightful.

Forgot to mention in the first post: Murderbot shows more personality in a single paragraph than some YA protagonists do in their whole books.

Oh! The first time he slips and does something he shouldn't if he wanted to keep his cover AND IT'S BECAUSE HE WANTED TO PROTECT A HUMAN FROM HARMING THEMSELVES!!! I AM LOVING THIS!!!

"one of those things I'm not contractually obligated to care about." On the one hand, this is hilarious again. On the other, there's something there about the language of contracts and caring as an obligation, or maybe I should say as a job. Don't ask me what, I'm just a bunny, what do I know?

Ahsjakda Awkward Murderbot is cute! What the hell, I didn't expect that!

"Please get out of my cubicle so I can sit here and leak in peace." Murderbot, why are you so relatable. I mean, I would die from such an injury, but in the case it were nonfatal, yeah, same.

I'm laughing, he really had no idea what he was saying. So even bots can talk out of their asses, uh?

Wait, what? Oh! Excellent cut! I'm screaming because I pause all the time to write my thoughts when I just want to continue reading, but that was a perfect way to finish the chapter.

"freehold generally meant shitshow" Ah! Yes, I see it, the whole idea that small groups trying to do things by themselves instead of falling in line with some big company are always messy, therefore less efficient or prone to infighting of some sort. It's not entirely incorrect, but we know those kinds of groups and projects are what protect everyone else of complete submission under some company's soulless absolute rule.

I'm shit at creating visuals in my head for the characters I read about, but I really want to remember the detail about the gunports in Murderbot's forearms and hope I don't miss other points like this, that talk about what visually shows him as not human (and wonder if I'll get to figure out if there is a line to visually differentiate between bots and augmented humans), since it obviously is something that matters much to him, what with how he tries to hide them.

Again with the laughing, I love the mention of not cleaning up unless given an order. What did I say about him and his personality?

Oh, sweet, companies forcing you to have a mole listening to your every conversation. Joy!

I love how he repeats that, yeah, the moment was actually just this short, but it felt that long.

"I don't take it personally." I'm not sure what I'm thinking when I read this after the complaints about paying high prices for shitty equipment, but it sure does ping something at the back of my head. (Is it the awareness of being a "something sold"? About the specific phrase of "shitty equipment" that applies to him? I'm not sure.)

Oh, I love that his using of the armor to distance himself meant he didn't keep up not emoting and it translated into showing his "I really don't want to be here" face to the group. There's the physical barriers are emotional barriers thing, and the awareness and expressions thing, but mostly the horror of having to stay in a group of people who know each other but not you.

Oh, there's something to say there about his comment on how no one would hire a SecUnit if they didn't have to (unless they wanted murder). There's the whole "his negative opinions about himself" issue, but also the "what the real purpose of these units are" theme and the going back to "paying high for shitty stuff" element. Too bad bunny really doesn't know what to say about any of these.

"In a smart world, I should go alone" and what comes after once again has me thinking of the purpose of a SecUnit, the motivation to make them (and not something else), and also the value (to the company) of the people who use these units.

"they were all so nice and it was just excruciating" Aaah, poor Murderbot, social anxiety? Or something quite like it, but not exactly. It's partly the "being around others" and partly the "they are humanizing me in a way that's different from how I conceptualize myself". And I'm sure there's more, maybe something of the differentiation between what SecUnits in general are and are treated as (according to Murderbot), and what he himself is and should be treated as, though I'm not sure where I'd go with that line of thought.

"Yes, talk to Murderbot about his feelings. The idea was so painful I dropped to 97 percent efficiency. I'd rather climb back into Hostile One's mouth." I'm laughing again. Funny images aside, it's an extension of the last comments points of him being an introvert, his lack of practice at socialization and maybe there's something to say about his emotional education (or rather lack thereof).

Oh! Plot! More of HubSystem and things going weird around it! (Sidenote: awww, Murderbot does recognize appreciation for Mensah's intervention.)

Have I mentioned how I love that Murderbot just- watches his series during the downtimes of whatever is going on? Like, he's copilot, but he's also watching his stuff. There's also that he actually downloads it to his internal storage. I have no idea if that means something, but I want to pin this, because I think about bots having internal storage and wondering about them using external storage or cloud systems, and when or where or why. I think about how there's always a limited amount of data a machine can keep and wonder about choosing what to keep, Myrderbot's decision-making if/when presented by the need. [Is it possible to live so long you can't keep all your memories? Not just the "inconsequential" (quotes because what is inconsequential about a life?), but even the "meaningful" ones? How long? Human memories naturally deteriorate, but for a machine it would have to be a choice to let go, wouldn't it? Or is the choice not to make new ones? To continue adding more and more until it breaks? I'm getting on a tangent, aren't I? Well, shit. Let's cut it here.]

Add clever commentary about Murderbot's opinions and desires when mentioning the dead bodies he's seen and caused, and it being a "nice change" when there are none.

Plot: well, if it doesn't raise your heartbeat when there's so many "mapping errors" that could kill you and your team.

Nice, nice, nice. Implied commentary about automatic updates, the whole companies forcing you to break the things you use so they can charge you for making them usable again (or selling you something else which works worse and steals more from you). And then more plot.

So there's more of Murderbot emoting under the helmet, his mention of not having to defend the company (which is commentary on employees knowing stuff that could help clients but not being allowed to do it, because their job isn't for the clients, is for the businesses), and his wanting to help people who are about to make bad choices (regarding their own physical safety).

"I couldn't explain to myself why. It was one of those impulses that comes from my organic parts that the governor is supposed to squash." I am still unsure *what* Murderbot is. Not completely a robot, since we know there's flesh there, but also it repairs entirely too fast for anything properly human or animal. He's a mass-produced construction with organic components. What's the definition of a non-human or whatever the quote is. More so with the mention of natural impulses that the governor has to suppress. And honestly, there's so much to explore in that concept. In the fact that, theoretically, all SecUnits (all bots? all bots who have a measure of organic components?) have natural responses and something external, programmed to someone else's interest, overrides that decision-making (is that commentary on people being forced to make choices that are bad for themselves because the socio-economic system won't allow them to make good ones?).

Mention: Murderbot calling out his own brand of pessimistic care when thinking about needing the medical supplies, the distinction between "hope it's nothing bad" vs "hope it's just injures and not dead bodies".

[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “15 Minutes” (11/15) Author:  @ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Master Chief John-117/Reader, Halo the series Summary: John has learned something new that he'd like to show you… Series: How to date a Spartan (without even trying) Rating:  T (PG13) Length: 2,630 (this chapter, 27,487 total so far) Spoilers: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. Though we began with the events of Halo 1x06, there will be no more show spoilers. We are still firmly seated in the AU Warthog, merrily driving out to places where there’s only a passing nod to canon. 😉 Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N:  Text is both here in this post or available at AO3, however you like to read. It's, yet again, been awhile since the last update, sad to say. I've been slogging through writer's block, health issues and some kinda awful real life stress but I'm not giving up on this fic (or its sibling, "Recreation"). I'd like to say that the final chapters will be here very soon but, well… I've learned to not call my shots, lol. I will, however, do my best to get them here as soon as I can. If you read, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @pinheadbanger​ @mysardencut​ @laurenstacy610​ @sporadicbelievernightmare​ @ultrablackwidower​ @bxmxtx​ @jellotherelol @mirandastuckinthe80s

If you would like to be tagged in my John/Reader fics, just let me know! I also write John/Kai, John/Cortana and Kai/male Reader, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. If you would like to be removed from the taglist, also feel free to let me know, no harm, no foul. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10

PT arrived bright and early and, while you continued to bring out every expletive in every language you knew, ultimately it seemed your left side was improving: more range of motion in your shoulder and more strength in your leg, though the healing fractures still ached. All together, though, it was a win, no matter that it left you sweating and shaking like you'd wrestled an Elite and lost spectacularly.

You'd just come out of the shower and put on a fresh set of clothes when the door chimed. To your surprise, you found Riz and Vannak in their civvies standing there. You knew Silver Team had been on stand-by for the past few days – John hadn't been able to join you for every meal, understandably, but he had been there every night. Sleeping curled up in his arms was a luxury you weren't sure how you were going to give up when the time came. Kai and her friend had visited but this was the first time the other two Spartans had.

"Please, come in," you said and they did.

"You need new curse words," Riz said seriously.

"We got here while you were doing your therapy," Vannak explained. "Didn't want to interrupt."

"You could hear me cussing out in the hall?" you asked.

"Superior Spartan hearing," she said, matter-of-fact. "I doubt anyone else could."

"Teach her the one," he urged in as animated a tone as you'd ever heard from him before. "You know, the good one."

Which is how you ended up getting a tongue-twisting word in Sangheili added to your arsenal.

"You say that to any Covenant species and it's guaranteed to send them into a rage," Riz said with a confident nod.

"Except the Unggoy," Vannak added with a sneer. "Little bastards couldn't give a shit. They'll try to kill you on principle."

"I'll make sure I'm on a bullhorn from far away, then," you said, biting the inside of your lip to keep from grinning. "Don't want to be in striking distance if I'm going to send them into a rage."

They thought that over.

"Chief won't appreciate us telling her to pick a fight with a Sangheili," she pointed out.

"Just use it on somebody you're pretty sure you can take in a fight," he told you.

"I'll keep that in mind," you said.

They made slightly stilted small talk for about 15 more minutes, then took their leave.

A rest seemed in order, so you propped up on the bed and checked the news. They were in the middle of reporting that they had yet to apprehend the man who had tried to smuggle the bomb back to FLEETCOM in the Warthog. It showed some stock images of the Pit before being damaged by the explosion and that got you to thinking…

There should be some sort of footage of the explosion, right?

But, after poking around on your padd for a little while, you hadn't found much beyond what apparently had been approved for public viewing.

"Would you like some help with that?"

Cortana's voice startled you.

"Oh, hey there," you said, thinking, Poor thing, she's got the most boring job in the world keeping an eye on me. I hope I get the chance to buy her a coffee or something after all is said and done. Then your brain tardily caught up with her words. "You mean you have footage from the explosion?"

"Yes, I do."

"And it's something I have clearance to see?"

"I have footage from the explosion," she repeated, her tone supremely innocent.

Before you could decide whether to ask to see it or not, the holo on the wall lit up. The security cams had caught the explosion from multiple angles. You winced as you saw a body – your body – fly out of the crane operator seat to disappear into a sea of smoke and debris.

A moment later, the view changed, the quality severely degrading. You squinted through the pixilation and haze and realized you were seeing from the point of view of the holo-emiter Cortana had contacted you from.

"Oh, shit," you muttered. The massive beam that had pinned you down should've killed you outright but you'd gotten supremely lucky in the way the rest of the building had fallen, providing just enough support to give you a tiny open space. But even without the sudden, helpful overlay that detailed out the edges of the debris through the smoke, you could see how quickly that respite was vanishing as the beam's weight bore it inexorably lower and lower.

You found yourself gasping for breath, cast back into that moment. The image changed abruptly. Trying to figure out where you were now viewing from helped to break you free of the encroaching panic attack.

Then it all made sense: you were looking at several officers, so covered in dirt and dust that you couldn't recognize their rank, much less determine their names. They also looked extremely short.

Before you even skimmed over the information feeding out in rapid-fire bursts, you knew that this was John's HUD after Silver Team had arrived back on site.

"John, get here now. The support beam is failing!"

Cortana's voice came through his helmet's comm. "There's no time," he said, interrupting the man as he was saying that they would have to wait for an excavation crew to arrive to safely dig you out.

He was running before the man could object. The feed cut back and forth from his HUD to the holo-emiter. This gave you an unexpected perspective on how efficiently Silver Team worked. They needed almost no words as they homed in on your location, grabbing, lifting, moving and supporting each part of the perilous structure as needed.

It was Vannak who caught the beam before it crushed you but it was John who lifted it off of you.

The holo-emiter's feed abruptly ended and you were back in John's HUD. Vannak and Kai caught another part of the crumbling wreckage, creating an opening for Riz to dig you out by hand.

You noted almost absently how steady John's vitals were. He was holding a building off of you as if it were nothing at all.

"Out," Riz announced and John carefully lowered the weight he'd been supporting.

When he turned, you saw Riz clearing the way for Kai, who was now the one carrying you. Vannak and John followed.

They emerged out of the wreckage and Kai went into the Spartan run, taking you directly into a Pelican where she turned you over to a team of medics. The Spartans were waved back and the ship launched.

"We'll catch the next one," Riz said.

"She'll be all right, Chief," Kai told him. "She's strong."

He nodded curtly, tracking the Pelican that was carrying you away.

And once it went out of sight, that was when his vitals spiked and his heart began to pound.

You were still thinking about what all you'd seen when the door chimed again. A glance at the chrono proved it was lunchtime. You opened the door and, indeed, the first thing you saw was a massive, covered tray that no doubt contained your meal. But it was John who was carrying it.

"Silver's on stand-by," he warned, "but I thought we might get a chance to eat together."

Since you weren't yet cleared to make the long walk down to the Mess, a table and pair of chairs had been set up across from the couch a few days ago. As soon as he'd placed the tray down, you practically tackled him.

"Permission to hug the Master Chief?" you asked well after the fact, your voice muffled into his chest.

He gently returned the embrace. "Always granted."

You found yourself holding onto him a little bit longer than usual.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I saw the footage from the Pit," you said, resting your cheek against him. "I already knew I was lucky to get out of there but really seeing it? I… It makes me appreciate being here."

He paused for long enough that you looked up at him, finding him gazing over your head as if hearing something over a comm. Then he turned his attention back down to you, brow furrowing. "She shouldn't have shown you that footage and upset you."

"Cortana? No, I'm glad she did. It happened to me, after all." You put your face against him again and squeezed him once more around his waist. "You held a building off of me, John."

He made a move as if about to pick you up, then thought better of it and knelt instead to bring you more on a level together. "I'd hold a million buildings off of you, don't you know that?" he said, cupping your face. "Just… try not to be under any more falling buildings, hm?"

"I'll certainly do my best," you swore and kissed his palm.

The look in his eyes altered, grew both darker and softer at the same time. When you leaned towards him, he met you halfway.

He started carefully, like he did everything with you, but soon the kiss intensified, deepened, and his hands skimmed from the crown of your head down your back as if he wanted to map every line, curve and angle you possessed.

And then your stomach growled, loudly and unmistakably, and you muttered your newly-learned curse word.

He leaned back to look at you, amusement tugging insistently at his mouth. "That one's Vannak's favorite. He and Riz talked about coming to see you today. I'm assuming they did?"

"They did," you said, then winced as your stomach grumbled something awfully close to a repeat of the Sangheili curse word.

"Why don't we eat," he said, completely surrendering to the smile, "and you can tell me all about it."

Happily, he didn't get called away and you were able to finish your meal together in peace.

"Could I show you something I recently learned?" he asked as you stood from the table.

"As long as it doesn't involve throwing me around the room," you teased.

"Oh, I'll save that until you're all healed up," he murmured, then winked.

You'd like to think you laughed but no, that was a full-fledged giggle. "So, what did you learn?"

"Therapeutic massage," he said, flexing his fingers. "It's supposed to promote healing and relaxation. Want to give it a try?"

"Absolutely," you said. "Where do you want me at?"

"On the footstool, if that's okay?"

"Sure."

The wide, plush, rainbow-colored bit of furniture was another recent addition to the room, added because John wanted you to have the option to put your feet up. Kai had told you that, as soon as you were healthy again, she was going to high-five you for the color choice.

While his back was turned as he adjusted the stool the way he wanted it in front of the couch, you took your shirt off and tossed it haphazardly towards the bed.

He sat, a leg on either side of the stool, and looked up at you, clearly about to say something. But then his expression went thunderstruck and the words never emerged.

You had the same UNSC sports bra that he had to have seen other marines wearing in the gym a thousand times. You'd spotted Kai and Riz in them before, so it shouldn't have been that shocking.

"This all right?" you asked.

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Yes." Every affirmative had its own completely separate inflection, from stunned to wonderment to Wait, don't put the shirt back on.

You turned away, hiding your grin as you sat down where directed. Considering that you were hardly in top fighting form at the moment, his reaction was a very nice little ego boost.

His hands settled gently against your back, fingers curling over your shoulders. "If I use too much pressure or there's pain, tell me right away. Is there anything I should definitely avoid?"

"Can't raise the arm like I should" –you gave a roll of your left shoulder– "but it's already much better than it was."

"Copy that, no raising the arm. Anything else?"

No matter how battered and bruised you felt, there was no way you were going to miss this. "I'll let you know," you promised.

"Okay," he said and his hands glided up to your neck, then out, following the lines of the trapezius on both sides. The heels of his palms followed your spine down in a feathery touch, then spread out along your lats like he was smoothing wrinkles out of them before skimming down your obliques to your hips.

He returned to your shoulders again and very, very carefully kneaded into the tightness there. You did your best not to flinch when he hit a particularly sore spot but he jerked back as if you'd screamed.

"It's fine," you said quickly, afraid he was about to end up perched on the back of the couch like a very large, traumatized cat. "This is the only way to get rid of it. Just got to work it out."

His hands settled cautiously on your shoulders once more.

"You're doing great," you assured him, patting his knees on either side of you encouragingly, and his thumbs drew circles over the painful places as if he were trying not to fracture a thin sheet of glass.

The knots relaxed and you exhaled in the closest thing to sheer bliss you'd experienced in a long while. The warmth and gentle pressure had you melting back into him, your head lolling a bit, your eyelids fluttering shut and—

The next thing you knew, you were waking up. "Oh come on, I didn't want to sleep through all the good parts," you mumbled.

John's chuckle rumbled beneath your ear. He had pulled you back onto his lap on your right side, cradled comfortably against his chest. One hand was gently rubbing your back while the other covered the hand you had fisted into his shirt.

"I'm going to take this as a compliment to my therapeutic massage skills," he said.

"And you absolutely should." You raised your head to look at him. "Maybe next time I can even stay conscious long enough to really appreciate said skills. If there is, you know, a next time."

"There will most definitely be a next time," he swore and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"I still owe you a proper back scratching."

"And I am absolutely going to collect on that," he returned, his tone unexpectedly husky.

You smiled, straightening up to kiss him. He pulled you closer, then paused and sighed against your mouth.

"I've got to go," he said resolutely right before his wristband chirped.

You looked for a way to roll off of him that wouldn't aggravate your shoulder – or potentially crush any of his, ahem, important Spartan equipment – but he scooped you up bridal style and stood as if you weighed nothing at all.

"I'll meet you for dinner if we're back soon enough," he promised and gave you one more tender kiss then placed you onto the couch. Before he went through the door, he paused, looking back like he was memorizing this moment, then he took a breath and was gone.

It was nearly dinner time when the door chime rang and you went to answer it with as much of a hopeful spring in your step as you could manage. However, this time, it wasn't John holding a tray with your evening meal on it.

"Dr. Keyes," you said in surprise, snapping a salute.

She said your rank and last name. "May I come in? We need to talk."

[gyokujyn]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

Tagged by @blackwood4stucky - Aspen, thank you for the tag, but I am breaking all the rules and changing most of the some questions to really get to know me (and hopefully you)! Pretend I tagged you at the bottom, too, cause it won't let me tag you twice!

1. How did you get your nickname (or url)?

I don't really have a nickname, but my url is the first long term OC I used to RP back in the day. I see a lot of hate for RPing OCs these days, but when the internet still screamed at you before you could logon, almost everyone RPed OCs--in fact it was looked down on to RP an existing character or an OC that was related to an existing character. Gyoku Jynnae was a Star Trek OC, but I also RPed Star Wars, D&D, and a few others in AOL chat rooms, forums/message boards, and email. I keep the name in case I ever run into anyone from that time in my life because some of those people helped keep me alive and I'll never forget it.

2. What's the last thing that made you cry?

Therapy yesterday. I'm trying to be less allergic to feelings. Go me.

3. What's your latest guilty pleasure?

I generally don't feel guilty about the things that bring me pleasure, lol, but I'm a little embarrassed that I realized my Stucky playlist on Spotify has long since exceeded 200 songs (sitting pretty close to 230 rn) so I created, I shit you not, a spreadsheet to help me most effectively split it into more specific lists for various timeframes or feelings and I am really enjoying listening to all the songs and organizing it.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I never did organized sports, but I did regularly get dropped in the wilderness with a map and a compass for "fun" when I was in high school--does that count?

5. What are your pet peeves?

I hate the sound of chewing/lip smacking/swallowing. I probably have misophonia because it makes me want to vault the table and punch someone.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hair and hands, usually. Eye contact is not my forte, so I am way more likely to remember someone by their shoes or something than by their face.

7. What is your eye color?

Hazel. I have a ring of brown around my pupil, then a ring of green outside of that like some kind of ridiculous YA novel.

8. What super specific trope or genre is your kryptonite?

Not sure how super specific this is, but I love psychological horror and body horror. I love the kinds of stories and movies where I walk away thinking I'm moving on with my life and then days later, something happens and my heart is pounding and I'm thinking about it again. I love horror that lives under your skin and in the back of your mind until it grips you out of nowhere.

9. What is your superpower?

I am very observant of details, which might be a superpower, but it usually feels like my villain origin story. It makes me good at reading people, but terrible at finishing projects because all I see are the faults and I get overwhelmed and it never gets finished.

10. Which fictional world would you be happy to call home?

You remember that late-aughts Bruce Willis movie where everyone plugs into an interface that lets them leave their bodies at home and navigate the world in an idealized, customizable body with no pain? Yeah, me, neither. I don't think about being able to have a pain-free body that reflects my personal image of myself everyday. Not at all.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, creating art, and video games. Between kids and COVID, my other hobby, tabletop RPG, is on a long term hiatus.

12. Do you have any pets?

We've recently lost a dog and a cat, so we're down to 1 cat and about 27,000 fish (not really, but we do have 8 running fish tanks, 3 of which are each over 50 gallons, so, like, there's a lot of fish).

13. What is your biggest toxic trait?

Oh, man, when I am in a relationship with someone, I want to be the center of their fucking universe. Which is weird because I am not monogamous and I am my wife's number one wing man, but it's not about jealousy. I want to know that I can trust my partner to have my back. That they're thinking about me. That they want me. I want to be wanted desperately. I will and have broken up with partners who weren't bad people or a bad match for me, they just weren't as mad about me as I wanted them to be. I feel like a narcissist typing this out, but it's the truth.

14. Is there anything you're afraid you won't accomplish?

I don't know that this is really an accomplishment, but I always wanted to have lots of kids and I always wanted to foster and adopt some of my kids. I knew kids growing up that needed safe homes and never got them (I probably was one, but I was afraid to get into the system, so I just kept my head down and dealt with it) and I always wanted to be the safe place I never had. But, it's expensive. Not the kids--I know kids are expensive (I already have 2). I don't understand why fostering and adopting is so expensive.

15. What's number one on your bucket list?

I want to go back to school to become a teacher, but I'm really finding it daunting right now.

Tags: I'm just tagging a dozen recentish mutuals that I don't know so well, yet... no pressure, but I'd love to get to know you better! @winterscrump @basnatural @eloquentreverie @vellicore @milarca @the-kestrels-feather @iceandironbars @sarahowritesostucky @natashadied4oursins @thepiper0fhameln @hypnxrchy @shurisbedroom If I didn't tag you, but you want to play, please feel free to jump in and tag me anyway!

[i-translated]

Hello! Thanks for checking out my translations blog! It's very new and I don't have a lot of things on here yet, but I'm very excited to change that!

Who are you? The name's Ray, mostly know around these parts as @rayclubs. I love translating things. Over the years I've made many translations of songs and poems but lost them because I wasn't storing them properly. I've made this blog so I can finally keep my work organized and talk about it with those interested.

What kind of translations do you do? Fully rhymed and rhythmic translations of songs and poetry, meaning you can sing them over the original music or recite them like the original.

What languages do you speak? I speak English, Russian, and Romanian fairly decently. I can read French and have some understanding of several other European languages. I prefer to speak English on this blog. You can send asks in other languages, but I will always translate them for the audience.

What languages do you translate to/from? Russian-to-English and English-to-Russian is what I'm most proficient at. I can try Other-to-English and Other-to-Russian if I think I have a good enough grip on the other language's phonetics and if there is an English or Russian translation that I can use as a basis for mine. If you aren't sure whether or not I can translate something, feel free to ask!

Can you translate this song/poem that I really like? Most likely! I will only translate stuff that I enjoy, but my tastes are weird and my love for a good challenge is weirder, so as long as it's not, like, Taylor Swift, I'll probably do it.

Can I use your translations for personal projects / sing them with friends / record them / etc? You can do anything you want forever. Really though, anything is fine, just please credit me. If you sing and record something I write, please tag me / send it to me / give me a shout so I know about it, I would love it. I can't sing for shit.

Can I ask you about other stuff / your process / request an explanation on how you translated a certain thing? Yes!

Do you take constructive criticism? No <3

What do the tags mean? #translation - a translation I made. #discussion - talking about a translation I made. Making jokey-jokes, detailing stuff I like or don't like, ranting about existing translations that are subjectively horrendous. #not a translation - everything that isn't a translation or a discussion. Answering eventual asks, maybe something else, we'll see. #English to Russian - a translation from English to Russian. #Russian to English - a translation from Russian to English. More TBA as needed. If you feel like one of my posts needs a certain tag added or removed, let me know.

Cheers!

[tekatonic]

2023 blog update !

Sooo happy new year everyone, and let's get into the thick of it, because I have a lot of words to spew out from my little tired brain ( i swear i started writing this at 4am, how's it past 6 already ? ). Beware long post...

I'm ditching the "sonic fandom" categorizing tag, most of my blog is sonic stuff so it doesn't really matter ( i'll change out the old tag on my old posts later when i remember... )

I wanted to change my url, cause i don't like what it stands for now, but it's what I'm credited as in the SWA zine and i don't wanna inconvenience them this late in the thing, so I'm gonna keep it for the time being. Maybe in a few months I'll change it ?

I kinda hate tagging my posts so i think i'm gonna stop using most of my tags when i'm reblogging, just doing my regular comments instead and content warnings if it needs it ( don't forget you can always ask to tag ! ), and of course, the reblog tag stays.

This doesn't mean I'm ditching the categorizing tags entirely though. I'm gonna try something. At every end of the month I'll go into the mass post editor and just correctly tag everything. ( I might still tag characters and fandoms the regular way for non-sonic stuff ).

I might reblog a little less. Or at least try to. The amount of stuff I usually reblog kind of overwhelms me ( sideblog will not be affected as it's a lot less pressure ).

I have a lot saved up in my likes tab that i still need to get to reblogging... might be time to revive the 'queued' tag ?

I'm still gonna be serial-replying, sorry... It's just less stress for me.

In terms of resolutions... I wanna post more art ! I basically stopped entirely in the later half of 2022 cause of ID anxiety and that's no good, art is what i made this blog for ! I also still haven't introduced you guys to my AU and I was supposed to do that in, like, June 2022... So I'm gonna do that. Lemme know what format you think I should post the 24 ( and more ) images in ? ^^;

Maybe I could post my long rambles and weird ""essays"" ( heavy quotations because those are basically liveblogging of my current thoughts ), if you guys would like to see that. A lot of questioning logic, lore, headcanons and theories. Stuff like that.

I want to interact more with the fandom ! Provide actual content ! Be active, be friends, y'know. Do the club activities and all that jazz. Art challenges, redraws, collabs, whiteboards, dtiys... I wanna be part of the cool/uncool kids and have fun while doing it !

I'm gonna go through sideblog-exclusive stuff below the cut since I'm sure most of y'all don't care about that. I only have 3 or 4 followers on there since I've only ever shared it with friends, so you probably don't even know it exists.

Alright so for ekana-to-hana.

It's basically gonna stay the same

I haven't been drawing my sonas and their universe a lot, so sorry about no new original art... I'm gonna try to draw them more !

All this time I've been just reblogging random stuff, but I think I'm gonna start sharing the things I like. Of course those posts won't get any more than 3 notes unless people actually like what i care about ( plants, fashion, ultra-specific aesthetics, various potential craft hobbies ), but hey whatever.

So in short, more original posts.

I might ( emphasis on 'might' ) start posting personal life updates like, i dunno, plant pics, merch if i get some, ramblings about life and shit.

Unlike my main blog, tagging remains unchanged, since i have way less to organize ( no characters and fandom tags ).

I should sort out my organizing tags for personal clarity tho.

Maybe I'll do some OC+fandom art, to promote the account ? But honestly I wouldn't really count on it.

And that's all folks.

[keshi-gommu]

Time to make this sticky/intro post!!

Wazzup, welcome to my page. I'm Dj Sunstone This blog has a little bit of a lot going on but I try to organize it with tags.

I like to play rnb, hip hop, Disco and house music when I DJ. Outside of that I post clips from video games and just teblog the stuff I enjoy.

I'm pro sex worker and do reblog a significant amount of sex worker content. With that in mind, my blog is 18+. If you are under 18 and/or do not want to see random adult content please DNI.

In terms of music, you can use the following tags to help navigate

#djsunstone chooses - music recommendations

#streamhighlights -stream stuff

--

I also like the pokemon IRL/rotomblr community and participate mildly. In this I also go by Dj Sunstone. When I am doing/reblogging pokemon irl content it will be tagged #pokemonirl and #unreality accordingly.

I live in the Paldea region, based in the area of Medali (that shard Cafe slaps, even if the school folks show up frequently to fight Larry). For work I'm a unionized freelance pokemon gym compliance officer (All officer, but no Jenny.... no shade to my friend Jenny on the compliance team. She's unlearning that cop shit.). Me and the rest of the compliance team will take on various jobs to inspect and test gyms to make sure they are in up to code in terms of flexability, typing, and overall capability. Ultimately our job in the compliance department is to ensure better enrichment and development of pokemon trainers.

In order to keep my pokemon strong, fit , and well maintained, I've been also working part time as a crystal cavern excavator along with other trainers who need to keep their pokemon in good form. The Paldea region has these weirdass crystals that pop up daily and hold terastallized pokemon and, more importantly, have a lot of shit you can sell to the pokemart. The stronger the pokemon inside, the greater the rewards. I've even seen this hebra mystica I read about in my academy days there. Neat!

Normally we'd let the folks doing their treasure hunt handle most of the crystal caverns since theres a lot of small fry out there, but recently we've been seein some crazy black crystals showing up with some tricked out and strong as hell terradtallized pokemon that are waaaaay too dangerous for your average trainer. So i roped my compliance friends in to help battle (and the rewards certInly helped grease the wheels on that) . We've also been seeing champion class trainers from all over paldea region stepping up to help take down these black crystal raids. We're not always successful in defeating the terastallized pokemon in the black crystals, but usually just engaging them in battle is enough to get them tired out too.

That said, I spend my off time playing music (Giacomo has some crazy good remixes tbh, i mean have you HEARD the team star theme?), and taking care of my pokemon.

Being a compliance officer, I have a significant amount of pokemon that I care for and I'll share them here. But for now my current team is:

Jupiter (Meowscarada)

Mahk [pronounced like Mark with a pokeboston accent] (Electrode)

Owen (Pawmot)

Goldy (Magneton)

Sylvester (Sylveon)

Chikken Bean (this weird ass red Cyclizar I found; Some kid has been riding around on one too, and later I learned it's related to that Professor who abandoned their kid)

(This post will be edited to revise my current team and maybe add pics)

I've got room for one more on the current squad. Chikken Bean is my wheels in the region, he doesn't do any real battling so he's not really part of the 6 pokemon I carry around as my party.

[walhalla]

I told you I had Wakasa brainrot. Tagging @kantorevengers cause she has Wakasa brainrot too.

cw: nsfw - fem!reader, public sex, oral sex (male receiving), creampie, wakasa is a bit mean ig??

It was one of the days Wakasa brought you along to Brahman's meetings. It's a small reunion today, just the executives and Senju. Akashi was the one doing most of the talking, something about division organization or whatever, you weren't really listening. To be fair, no one was. Benkei was blankly staring at the ceiling, Senju was dozing off and Wakasa was too focused on the way his fingers went in and out of you below the table.

"...so that's basically what we have to do" Akashi finished, standing before you like a professor teaching a class.

"Shit." You accidentally cursed when Wakasa hit a sensitive spot inside of you.

"What?" Akashi deadpanned. "Last time I checked, you weren't a part of Brahman."

Wakasa snorts, trying to hide his amusement. "Chill, Akashi, she's probably tired of your yapping." he says looking at you straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just getting a bit... hot" you say, not wanting to let Wakasa win.

"Really? Let's go outside for a bit, babe." he suggests, knowing full well you're not going out for a breath. "Fill me out on the details later, 'kay?" With that, he slides his fingers out of your pussy to take his hand in yours and guides you out the door.

The hideout was located in a back alley. A discreet building, chosen for discreet matters. Like fucking Brahman's top executive Wakasa Imaushi.

"You're mean." You say once you step outside.

"And you're so fucking wet." he steps closer to you, trapping you against the wall. "Do you really like it that much? Getting your cunt stuffed with those fuckers in the room." He doesn't break eye contact while he unzips your skirt and lets it fall on the floor. The cold breeze of the night makes you shudder when you feel it against your wet underwear.

"Look at you, how vulgar." He says while he unbuttons your shirt. "Dropping your clothes for a man in a back alley, truly outrageous."

"Don't act like you aren't enjoying this." You teased, noticing his hard on against your thigh.

"I wouldn't. I'm the most vulgar and outrageous of them all." he replies with a small laugh. "Now be a good girl and get on your knees."

You do as he says and wait eagerly as he unzips his pants, taking his cock out and giving it a couple strokes right in front of your face.

"Open." His tone stern while he holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger. You obey, opening your mouth wide. "Tongue." Again, you comply. He gathers some spit on his tongue and lets it fall slowly until it hits yours. Just as you feel his warm saliva entering your mouth, Wakasa stuffs his whole length in your mouth in a rough thrust. Your eyes start filling with tears while you're trying to suppress your gag reflex. The man was never one to hold back, fucking your mouth at a fast pace he grabbed the hair on the back of your head.

"That's it, baby." He tilts his head back in bliss, groaning. After a few more rapid thrusts, he releases the grip on your hair and lets you catch your breath.

"Wakasa..." you say, looking up at him with tear-stained eyes.

"What, baby?" He cups your cheek with his hand. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you inside me." You softly tell him, still on your knees. "Please, Wakasa."

"Since you asked so nicely." He says with his usual bored expression. "Up." You stand up and wait for his next command. He taps your thigh below your hip. "Hop on." You jump into his arms, your faces mere inches from each other.

"Please..." you're getting desperate, the heat on your lower stomach getting stronger by the minute.

"Someone's getting impatient." He smiles against your lips, leaning in to kiss you right after that. The kiss started soft but promptly got more and more passionate, tongues dancing around and moans escaping from your mouths. Without breaking the kiss, Wakasa supports your weight with one hand while he slips the other between you to move your underwear aside.

"Ready, love?" His tip brushing your entrance and his voice so close to you makes you nod immediately. He takes your mouth in a kiss as he pushes his lenght inside you, making both of you moan into the kiss.

"Fuck, that's good." He grips your ass with force, lifting you up and bringing you down again while his nails dig into your skin. You grab his hair with your hands around his neck, trying your best to keep quiet. "Feeling good?" He laughs softly when he sees you struggling to contain your moans.

"Yeah... 's good" your voice is merely a whisper. "More, please..."

"I haven't stopped, you greedy thing." Wakasa replies with a hard thrust that makes you bring your hand to your mouth to avoid your whines to echo through the narrow streets of the alley.

"W-waka... I'm gonna... haah... I'm gonna cum!" you feel yourself getting closer, dazed from the pleasure.

"Cum, pretty thing. Let me feel you." Wakasa whispers against your lips before trapping them in a kiss once again. You feel your climax come through as his tongue wanders through your mouth, almost biting him when you finally release the tension that built up in your stomach.

"Fuck, that's it." He buries his face in your shoulder, his moves getting sloppier. "You want my cum inside you, baby? You want that?" You nod, getting dizzy from the overstimulation.

"Cum inside me, please Wakasa" you cry against his ear.

"Fuck, gonna cum." He says as he thrusts deeply, releasing into you with a groan. He rests his head on yours, catching his breath before giving you one last kiss and puts you down. You lean on him, feeling your knees falter.

"You okay?" Wakasa asks putting an arm around your waist for support.

Yeah, I'm fine, but..." Wakasa looks at you, expecting your answer. "Your ruined my skirt." You say, looking at the piece of clothing left forgotten on the floor.

"Oh, you're right... I'm sorry, I'll buy you another one." Wakasa apologizes.

"That's not the problem, Waka." He looks at you, confused by your words. "I don't have any spare clothes." Wakasa looks at you with a serious face for a second, but a laugh escapes his mouth.

"It's not funny!" You whine. "How am I supposed to go home like this?" Still laughing, Wakasa takes off the top part of Brahman's uniform.

"Here." He hands you the oversized jacket. "I'm gonna need that back, though."

Just as you were about to thank him, the door opens with the three other members exiting the building.

"I guess you took the part of Brahman thing pretty badly." Akashi says when he sees the gang's uniform on you.

"She was cold. I'm not gonna let her freeze to death." Wakasa states.

"Weren't you hot?" Senju asks.

"Huh?" You let out not knowing what to say, your cheeks starting to heat up.

"You were hot, that's why you went out in the first place." Senju insists.

"Leave those two idiots be, it's getting late." Akashi sighs. "Let's go, pipsqueak." He starts walking towards the main street, Senju following behind him.

"Nice skirt you got there, y/n." Benkei laughs, pointing at the skirt laying dirty on the floor.

"Shut up." You blush and look away, hoping Wakasa would get you out of this situation.

"Yeah, where did you buy it? I think I'm gonna get the same one for me." Not helping, Wakasa joins in on the joke.

"I'm leaving." You say, getting away from the two men.

"Wait, I'll get you home." Wakasa follows after you.

"Whatever, let's go. I don't wanna walk around like this." You say, pouting at him.

"You look adorable though." He reaches for your hand and interlaces your fingers.

"You're not taking the skirt?" Benkei asks when he sees you walk away.

"Keep it, I'm sure it'll look great on you, Benkei." Wakasa raises his voice so it reaches the other man, laughing along with you.

[broken-clover]

You asked for a prompt for Mermay. I don't think I'm the best at ideas, but I do remember you had a series called Illyria aquarium. With recent changes in the story, why not a prompt where delilah's introduced to the aquarium? Feels like the natural next step.

I cannot in good conscience say I had a good reason for this to be so late. Really don't. It's annoying me too. But thankfully it's done now!

Also since this is the first time in a bit I've written and posted something here, I'm going to start using my new proper tag for fics and only fics, filed under Frog Writes. I'll be going back and tagging old stuff soon with the new tag as I've promise earlier, so hopefully everything will be better organized.

-

Every new mer was a surprise at the aquarium, even if she knew they would be coming. Jack-O hadn’t believed Axl at first when he’d said as much to her, but even after a half-dozen or so newcomers, she was always excited about whatever new fish was being brought into their care. Each one was special and unique in its own way, and finding out about their own individual quirks and making them comfortable in the aquarium always made for a fulfilling challenge.

“Morning, Axl!” She strode into the building with even more excitement than usual. “Is our new guy here yet?”

“Oh, heya, Jackie. Yeah, got a call a few minutes back. Gonna head up to the lab, soon as I’m done with the floor.”

“The…the floor that I am…currently standing on.” Turning pink, she moved off of the spot to let Axl vacuum it.

“Much obliged.”

Still, she could tell that he was just as excited. They fell back into chatter as soon as they had the chance, hurrying up to where they knew their coworkers and the new guest would be.

“So, what do you think it’s gonna be?”

He shrugged, still smiling. “Dunno! Maybe another octopus? Hey, y’know, it’s probably not this, but I’ve always wondered what it’d be like if there was a kissing fish version of a mer. Y’know, the ones that fight with their faces?”

The mental image nearly made Jack-O trip over her feet. “Oh my god, that’s such a weird thought. Would they just go around, aggressively kissing everyone?”

“And you just know someone would take that the wrong way.”

“The other mer, or the visitors?”

“...Yeah.”

The lab tank had been set up as usual, full of rocks and plants to hide behind if the occupant was too nervous to let themselves be seen. Jack-O could almost make out something purplish-brown half-hidden in the thickets, but I-no’s voice pulled her away.

“Oh good, the kiddies have arrived.”

“And g’morning to you too,” Axl snarked back. “Ain’t you bright-eyed.”

It was hard to tell how literal that was supposed to be, but Jack-O could spot several of the woman’s coffee mugs scattered across the table. “You’ve been awful busy, huh?”

“Getting a new mer doesn’t mean I get a break, it just means I gotta keep track of one more thing than usual.” I-no took a sip from the mug currently in her hand, then scrutinized the bottom. “And if you guys didn’t show up soon, I was gonna have to start mixing the special shit into my coffee instead of my usual.”

The girl gave her an odd look. “...Isn’t your ‘usual’ already 110-proof whiskey?”

Another sip. “Yep.”

“Uh…” She decided to move the topic.“Still trying to see if those splotches on Faust are mucous?”

“Raven took a sample this morning, we’re pretty sure he’s fine. And he seems perfectly happy, as long as he just looks peculiar and doesn’t act peculiar, then we’re not all that worried.”

Jack-O nodded. “Makes sense. Just wanna make sure our favorite seahorse isn’t sick, y’know?”

“Jackie, I’m a marine biologist. That’s literally my job.” I-no still gave her hair a friendly ruffle. “Amazed you two haven’t talked my ear off about meeting the new girl yet. Guess that means I gotta reward you~”

Axl rolled his eyes, arms folded along his chest. “Never thought I’d say this, but can we be horny some other time?”

“Or what, you’ll fire me, temp?” Still, she seemed to get the point. She moved over to the large tank and looked it up and down. A finger pointed somewhere along the bottom. “Right about there, you see her? The shadows make it a little hard, but you can see her tail moving.”

Jack-O tried to hide her excitement as she and Axl pressed up against the glass. Sure enough, with I-no’s direction, she spotted the mer rather quickly. Quite a tiny thing compared to what she was used to. Short brown hair fanned around her head in the water, but it didn’t do much to make her look bigger. Jack-O surmised that she didn’t need to look bigger. The mer had her own way of being intimidating. Despite being curled up on the sand, she still glared back at the starers with a frightening intensity for her size.

“Still a kid, huh?” Jack-O said. She already knew the implications of this, and none of them were especially pleasant. “Was she found stuck in something?”

“Sorta.” I-no shrugged. “As far as we’re aware, she was originally from some exotic breeder, guy was cranking the things out like crazy to sell ‘em to rich folks. Makes for a conversation piece, y’know? Put ‘em in a big tank in your ~atrium~ or some rich bullshit and invite your rich friends over to look at it.”

Jack-O could tell that everyone else already hated this as much as she did. “They found her at the breeder mill?”

“Nah, she was sold off. Bought by a traveling circus so guests could gawk at her. ‘Course, when you don’t socialize a mer properly and don’t feed it enough, that’s how you get idiots with nipped fingers. And instead of trying to fix anything, they ended up just trying to cut their losses and dumping her in a nearby river.”

Axl was aghast. “Th- They dumped her in the river??”

“Aaaaand this is why I didn’t bring you for pickup.” I-no sighed. “I can’t blame you, though. It’s fucked. Remember, this is shit we’re good at. If we do what we’re paid for, then she should be fine.”

Jack-O put a hand on his shoulder. “All that matters is that she’s with us now, right? It’s all up from here.”

“Right. Right…” Axl looked convinced, but it did little for the disgust in his eyes.

“Does she have a name yet?”

“They didn't bother giving her one, she was just ‘the mermaid.’ Raven’s suggestion was ‘Delilah.’” Said I-no.

Jack-O thought about it for a moment. “It’s cute, I like it!”

Axl’s hands were still trembling at his sides in anger. Jack-O reached out and took one, giving it a squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna take care of her.”

With his free hand, he reached out and brushed his fingers against the glass. “Hey there, kiddo. You’re gonna have a great time here. It’ll be real nice.” He looked over his shoulder at I-no. “What kinda fish is she? Tail looks sorta sharky, but I got no idea what kind.”

“Still haven’t quite figured it out. Hard to tell from a glance since there’s a human head instead of a snout, but the size and fin shape’s saying something in the Dalatiidae family- Raven doesn’t agree, he’s thinking Somniosidae. Hell, can’t say for sure she isn’t some kind of hybrid, who knows what that freak was breeding together. Either way, definitely some kinda shark.”

“Shark, huh?” It was hard to see that without the massive teeth and beady eyes, but Jack-O had read more than enough of her mom’s textbooks to know sharks came in all kinds of strange shapes and sizes. “Is she a biter?”

“Eh, got a temper, not like I can blame her. Make sure you wear the heavy-duty gloves.”

“We moving her now?” Asked Axl.

“Still figuring out where to put her. We’re gonna want to be careful with this. She’s pretty aggressive, but also pretty fragile since she’s young, so if another fish smacks her into the wall, it could do a lot of damage.”

“So, Potemkin, then?” Jack-O offered. “He’s usually our go-to.”

I-no shook her head. “The thought I’m having right now is putting her in with another adult female. Might help with the socialization. Pot’s fantastic, but even if he bonks into her on accident, he could break something. Besides, I think the big guy needs a break from playing peacemaker with the trouble cases, at some point it’s gonna stress him out, too.”

“Uh…Ram and El, then?”

“Too friendly. Delilah would probably see that as threatening and start a fight. Sharon might work, but then we’d have to worry about Slayer-”

Axl suddenly snapped his fingers. “Baiken. Put ‘er in with Baiken.”

Both Jack-O and I-no looked at him in horror. Moreso Jack-O, as ‘horror’ was currently second fiddle to ‘viciously homicidal’ in I-no’s eyes.

“Baiken, are you insa- ?!”

She cut herself off as quickly as she’d started. “...Actually,” I-no tore open a file cabinet and pulled out a few test papers. “All of our notes on Baiken show that she doesn’t tend to fight unless someone bothers her first. Maybe that’s crazy enough to work.”

“Maybe, maybe. Worth a shot.” Axl nodded. “I got something else, though. Any of ya familiar with cats?”

++++++

A sturdy mesh fence had been installed to partition the tank into halves. Sturdy, at least, for the subjects involved. For someone like Sol or Potemkin, it would be like tearing apart soggy paper. Baiken, thankfully, only watched with annoyance, and stayed on her rock.

Anji took to the new oddity with the same response he did for everything new and possibly harmful to him, curious wonder. The way I-no held her long stick, she almost looked inclined to swat at him with it. But as long as he stayed a good enough distance away, she held back.

Delilah, likewise, wasn’t especially thrilled with the situation she’d found herself in. She tried to chew on the net she was scooped out in, and when that didn’t work, she tried to grab onto and gnaw on the hands holding it. Hauling her out of the transport tank wasn’t a complicated task with her size, but Delilah’s restlessness had it take a lot longer than usual. Any attempts at placating words were merely met with an angry hiss.

The very moment she was free in the tank, she tore off and squeezed into the corner. That much was normal, at least. Being in a new tank could be stressful, especially for a mer who was completely new to the aquarium. No matter what they tried, it was only natural that it would take some time for their new guest to become comfortable. For the time in-between, all they could do was take care of them.

“Fingers crossed we don’t get too many weird questions about it.” Jack-O looked from her co-worker back to the tank. “But then again, I know the little kids tend to really like sharks, so she’ll be popular…which means a lot more people at the tank.”

Axl shrugged. “Eh, gonna try and hope for the best. Just say Delilah’s a little shy, don’t gotta explain everything to ‘em.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

After the fact, it didn’t take long for things to go back to normal. A new mer was serious business for a couple of days, but it quickly settled into being just another part of the daily routine. That was how it was for the staff, at least. Though they hadn’t gone out of their way to advertise, social media spread things around quite quickly, and many a visitor stopped by the following week with eagerness in their eyes to look at the new shark.

“If they don’t quiet down, I’ll never be able to get a good snapshot.” Another mechanical camera click bounced off of the glass, followed by yet another sigh. “Dear Miss Hale, are you certain you can’t shoo them away? Not even for ten minutes?”

Jack-O grimaced in sympathy. “Sorry, Tes. I’m gonna see if we can set you up with some time after-hours. It’ll be a lot quieter then, but it means we’ve gotta keep this part of the building turned on longer, and that means we’ll need more people staying overtime.”

They nodded. “Understood. I suppose I should have anticipated this crowd.”

Though if anyone could make the best of a wait, it was Testament. Every time she passed by on a tour or to restock the bathrooms, she spotted them on the bench across from the koi tank. They had their camera trained on it and kept peering into the lens, every once in a while sitting back and grabbing the sketchpad at their side to draw out a few lines. They almost made it look fun, which was impressive, given that basically nothing was happening. Baiken went in circles, and Delilah napped on the same rock she had spent most of her stay on. It was almost as though they refused to acknowledge each other's existence. Both stayed away from the grate altogether, and even Anji had lost interest.

“You’re not bored?”

“Mmm.” Testament made a noncommittal noise, sketching a bit more. “Delilah’s lack of movement makes it easier to draw her. It’s a good opportunity.”

“You couldn’t just snap a picture and draw from that?”

Another noise. “I suppose. This feels more organic.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Jack-O shrugged. “I’m not an artist. Closing’s in half an hour by-the-by, if you can wait a little longer.”

“Duly noted, thank you.” They gave the tank a sly look. “I’ll get my perfect photo, dear mer. I am a very patient individual.”

The last of the visitors gradually straggled out. As soon as the pre-recorded closing messages played out over the speakers, Jack-O made her way around the walkways, picking up garbage and making sure nobody had tried sticking around after hours. Movement in the corner of her eye made her jolt, until she processed the fact that it was just Testament. The fact that they seemed significantly more spirited than usual didn’t help her brain decipher it.

“You look excited! Finally get a good shot?”

Testament turned to her with a genuine smile. “That and more! My goodness, it seems those two are making for good friends!”

“...Friends?”

They gestured to the tank. Delilah had left her sleeping rock to drift quite close to the fence, head tilted in curiosity. Baiken, likewise, was looking over with vague intrigue, though she stayed to the side.

“What the heck? Where’s this come from?” Jack-O asked as Testament took several eager photos behind her. “When’d this happen?”

“Ten, perhaps fifteen minutes ago?” They replied. “But I believe this was actually the blue one’s doing, he seemed quite interested in the fence. He’s swam off for now, though, I couldn’t tell you why.”

Anji? It didn’t feel too out of sorts for him, but it still left her feeling strange. Why would he swim off?

“Well, I guess it’s good they’re warming up to each other a bit? As long as they keep their distance, It should be fi-”

No sooner did the words leave her mouth for her to immediately regret them. Baiken’s long, spotted tail swept out from underneath her, and she began intently paddling towards the other side of the tank.

“No, oh no no nope, this isn’t happening.” Dropping her bag of garbage, Jack-O sprinted for the employee stairwell and threw all her weight into tearing open the doors. “This is not happening right at the end of my shift!”

It was harder to tell what was going on from above instead of through the glass as the water rippled, but it was clear enough that Baiken was still moving closer. A blurry silhouette of Testament waved its arms in the air, but any words were impossible to decipher.

Nobody else was around to assist, forcing her to unlatch and pull open the overhead grate with only her own two hands. It was always moments like this that had her bemoaning passing up the gym, but that didn’t do much good for her now. The metal slammed hard against the concrete as it was let go. On a better day, she’d have been more careful- well, on a better day, she’d have help. Whether or not there was a crack could be a problem for later.

After hauling the weight of the grate, the temporary fence in the tank looked positively flimsy in comparison. And in the one moment of desperate hope she allowed herself, Baiken promptly erased it. With utter ease, she tore at the metal with her one arm and yanked a chunk of it back, just as easily as Sol would have. Not large enough for any mer to pass through, but a glaringly clear example that Baiken was capable of it.

“And this is why I said we should’ve used Potemkin!” She snapped at nobody. “Shit, shit shit shit-” Jack-O scrambled for the supply station that housed the diving mask and I-no’s prodding stick. This was grim, but if she was fast (and incredibly lucky) she could still intervene before anyone could start mauling anyone else.

Baiken continued to tear apart the grate, at one point poking her head through before going back to pulling the hole open wider. Jack-O fumbled with the mask’s clunky straps and tried to see through its glass eyeholes to make sure the water wasn’t filling with blood.

It hadn’t. But Baiken was swimming through the wall.

The last of the straps clicked into place. The only reason that she didn’t immediately dive headfirst into the tank was a last-second realization that she still wore the work belt housing her supplies, and, most importantly, the radio. Which meant more buckles and straps to undo. It was an easy task…at least, it was in the morning, but now she was struggling in panic, and even moreso worsened by repeatedly glancing up from the belt to look at the tank. Baiken had bypassed the torn-apart barrier and swam straight to Delilah, and through the rippling water, she had a hand trying to wrap around the smaller mer before she could pull away.

Jack-O’s heart sank deeper into her body. No- she could still stop this. This wasn’t a lost cause, not yet. The last strap tore clean off from enough desperate tugging. She moved to throw it behind her and lunge forward, and-

Her belt started to vibrate.

“...Huh?”

More on autopilot than anything else, she fished for the vibration, and pulled out her phone from one of the pouches.

New Message!

From: Testament

Attachment: 1 Image

“Tes?” Were it anyone else, she would have thrown it aside. Instead, she clicked on the notification and let it fully pop up. Just like it had said, the message only contained a single image.

It was the mer.

Jack-O looked up from her phone, then back down. Baiken’s arm was nowhere near Delilah’s neck, or any other vulnerable spot to rip at. It was merely draped over the girl’s shoulder. And, curiously, Delilah was completely tranquil, curled up against the larger mer’s chest.

Her phone buzzed again

Testament: Lookit thm!! Cue!!!

Usually, Testament’s texting was just as flowery as their speaking voice. They must have been in such a rush that they skipped the formalities. And the spellcheck.

It was a hard sight to believe. She kept looking back and forth to be sure it wasn’t a mistake, and then, to make sure it wasn’t momentary. Baiken, who reacted to most problems by biting down on them hard, was snuggled up to the shark as though they had been friends all their lives.

Still cautious, Jack-O tucked the stick under her arm and fished through her belt.

“Hey, uh,” She fumbled into the radio, “are any of the docs still here?”

++++++

“What the- ?!”

“I see…”

If there was some consultation, it was that her employers were just as confused. Raven less obviously so, but his dark-ringed eyes had sparkled in the way they were only known to do when something interesting caught his attention.

“So you guys aren’t sure, either?” Asked Jack-O.

“This is quite unusual.” Replied Raven. He looked over to Testament. “You’re quite certain nothing of interest occurred?”

They shook their head. “I’m certainly no mer expert, but aside from Mr. Mito’s vanishing, they simply stared at each other for a while.”

“Hmm. Interesting.”

“If mer have their own language, we still don’t know it,” I-no said. “Maybe it was body language. Or something else. This is gonna be one heck of a study.”

“But it’s not something to worry about?”

“Eh, wouldn’t worry about it too much, kiddo.” Jack-O was given a friendly pat on the head. “Should probably pull out the ripped fence so nobody gets cut on it, but we can let them mingle. Never thought I’d see Baiken getting along with kids…sheesh, every time I think I’m starting to figure these things out, they throw me for a loop.”

The way Baiken had curled around Delilah and Delilah had curled into her, it was hard to see it as anything other than contentedness. Jack-O wondered what they must have said or communicated to one another to have them be so friendly like this. Maybe she’d never understand. But as long as they were happy, that’s what mattered, right?

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

Tag List

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@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

[kyber-crystal]

An Accidental Confession

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.1k

Summary: In which you decided to a record a message explaining your feelings for Steve in case you didn't make it out of your mission alive. You don’t have any intention of it actually being heard by him, but you have no other choice to face your fear when it’s accidentally broadcasted across the entire compound.

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff haha with hints of a cocky steve hehe.

A/N: Some dialogue credits go to Descendants of the Sun! (yes, this is a oneshot of a scene from it, bc I love that drama with my whole heart) 

Tags: Dedicating this to @sylvie-writes​ because she’s an absolute SWEETHEART. I LOVE YOU BB. go follow her!

"Hey, Y/N, check this out!"

You glanced up from where you were furiously typing away at the computer to see Peter with a wide grin on his face. "Hm?"

"Look what I found! Mr. Stark's old speaker set!" The teenager went around to behind the table and rolled out the speaker in front of you. "It was a bit souped up, but all it really needed was some TLC and here it is, good as new!"

"Found this old thing while he was cleaning up," Tony explained, "you wanna hook your phone up and give it a go?"

"Uh...sure, why not," you shrugged, standing up and pushing your seat in, making your way over to the two of them. You took your phone out of your pocket and plugged it in.

"Check, one, two," Peter spoke into the small microphone. "Check one, two, three. Hey! It's working!"

You couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm. "How old is this thing, anyway?"

"Older than me, that's for sure. Now play something!"

"Alright, alright. Let's see..." you scrolled through your playlists until you found the one you wanted, pressing 'play' and putting it on shuffle. "There."

"Fly Me To The Moon! May played it for me all the time when I was little," Peter exclaimed. "She always insisted I educate myself on older music. Now I'm glad she did."

Bucky and Sam stopped screaming at each other as they battled it out in Mario Kart, quieting down and humming to the beat as they held their controllers tightly. Wanda smiled to herself as she stirred the pot of soup on the stove, Bruce on the verge of falling asleep as he sipped his coffee at the kitchen island and read a news article on his phone. The energy within the compound seemed to lighten significantly as Frank Sinatra's soothing voice echoed off the walls.

You went out to the patio to relax, crossing your arms and closing your eyes as the sounds of chirping crickets and music mixed together in one soothing melody, the moonlight reflecting over the water. For a brief moment in time, you were at peace - and you relished in the temporary feeling of serenity. The 'city that never slept' was sleepy, for once. It wasn't all that late, but you were already beginning to succumb to fatigue's temptations.

But then, the song came to an end and switched off to something else.

"Hey, Steve. I hope this message never finds you because if it does...it means I'm most likely dead-" your all-too familiar voice came over the phone, thick with tears as you struggled to contain your sobs. "God, what am I even doing here? I have a gunshot wound that most likely pierced a vital organ so I'm just gonna bleed out here alone- why am I even doing this? I don't even know how much longer it'll be before you arrive with the evac team...so I just want to apologize in advance for not coming back to you like I promised. If I'd known I'd die in a foreign country, I would've lived a more carefree life instead of constantly worrying, like you always told me to just relax sometimes, I'm so, so sorry-"

Your eyes widened in realization and you rushed across the facility as fast as you could possibly go to the labs.

"Leaving words like this before dying is so uncultured- please, Steve...are you on your way? Please tell me you're on your way. If I'm really dying here I don't wanna die alone. Please hurry...I don't think I can last until you get here. Even so, you'll be the first to find me if I die, that is, if my corpse isn't dragged away or some shit like that - God, this hurts- I almost forgot how much it hurt to get shot...damn...I really underestimated the power of a bullet, huh?

Steve's bandaged fists fell to his sides, the punching bag swinging back and forth so wildly that it would've knocked him over if it weren't for his muscular figure. His brow furrowed in concern and he felt a small ache his chest upon hearing your voice crack - you never cried, and even if you did, which was extremely rare, you were good at hiding it from others.

But then a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips - you did ramble sometimes, and he found it rather adorable. It was, in fact, one of the main reasons why he admired you so much.

"FRIDAY? Where's the source of this audio?"

"It's playing from Mr. Stark's speaker in the lab, Captain," the AI responded.

"Thank you."

He unwrapped the tape from around his hands and exited the training facility, going into a light jog as he headed up to the lounge.

"If I knew that I'd die like this, then I would've told you my true feelings. That I'm in love with you and I really wished you'd kissed me when we were watching that movie together- it was Die Hard, wasn't it? I really wished you'd done something. We were sitting so close, and...I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was tempted to just run my hands through your hair and kiss you. And I almost did. I'm so in love with you, hopelessly in love with you...and if there's anything that scares me more than dying alone, it's probably thinking of a way to tell you, and the fear of being rejected by my best friend, my partner in crime-"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. You were in love with him? He felt his heartbeat pick up speed at the thought. He always held that small bit of hope in his heart that you'd feel the same way.

Just as Steve arrived at the labs, you came bursting through the doors with a look of sheer panic in your eyes, your face drained of all color. You quickly unplugged your phone from the speaker as he watched on in amusement.

"Want some, Mr. Stark?" Peter offered through a mouthful of popcorn, holding the bag out to his mentor. "Seems like we're in for a treat here."

"Where'd you get these, kid?" Tony questioned as he reached over and popped several kernels into his mouth. "Mm. Caramel, a classic."

"I always keep some with me. Never know when drama will break out."

Steve laughed and shook his head as you quickly turned around on your heel and sprinted out of the room. It was so unlike you to act like this - normally you were rather guarded and stoic. To see you as anything but was not only amusing, but adorable in his eyes - it was one of the many things he loved about you, in fact.

"Music...really changes a lot of things," Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.

The super-soldier cracked a smile. "I seem to be in the center of that change."

He said a few quick goodbyes went to find you, as Peter and Tony continued enjoying their popcorn together.

"Oh my god, I'm so stupid, oh my god, why did I even record that damn message," you muttered, finding yourself going back outside again. You needed to clear your head and get away from Steve. The secondhand embarrassment you just knew was waiting for you was almost too much to even think about - what would he think of you now? What would everyone else think of you?

Steve had beaten you to it and was already out there, leaning against the glass railing  with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing an amused expression on his face.

"Oh my god! You scared me!" your voice heightened to a shriek. "What the hell, Rogers? How are you here? Why are you here?"

"I know you like the back of my hand, sweetheart," he chuckled lightly. "You always come out here whenever you're restless or stressed out. Figured you'd try to flee as soon as you heard," he gestured back inside, "all that."

"That was none of your business!" you squeaked. "It was a private message, not meant for you to actually hear! It wasn't for you!"

"Well, you did announce it, publicly," he defended himself, pushing himself away from the railing and raising his hands in surrender. "And it sounded like it was for me. You said my name."

"It wasn't for you!"

"Then why'd you say Steve?"

"It's a different Steve?"

"A different Steve with a stealth suit, Quinjet, and evac team?"

"Y-yeah! B-but it's really funny. Why are you listening to other people's recordings?'

"Like I said, doll," your face flushed at the nickname, "it was broadcasted publicly. I didn't listen, I heard."

"Because you heard it, you carelessly hear it all the way through?"

He smirked. "You know, you're really cute when you're upset." He smirked, taking several steps towards you. You instinctively stepped back. "But why are you running away? When you were about to die you wanted to confess." With each step he took, you took another backwards. "But since you lived, you changed your mind?"

"Confess? That wasn't a confession. That wasn't me."

"This cell phone is yours," he held up your hand that tightly gripped your phone.

"This isn't a phone- Y/N, what the hell are you saying? Stop talking," you cursed yourself under your breath.

"It's an honor knowing I'm in your will," he said kindly.

"If you know then that's enough," you exhaled, stepping around him to leave. Steve stopped you by placing a hand out in front, before moving it to grip your wrist. You felt your skin heat up rapidly under his touch.

You gasped. "Look! Thor set the toaster on fire!"

"I'm not fooled, sweetheart."

You moved to try and leave again, but he only tightened his grip. "Whether or not it was a confession, I'm going to listen to it, so let's not run away, shall we?"

You were silent for several moments before responding, swallowing hard. "Okay. I got it. I'll answer you so let go of me and let's talk. Really."

"Really, right?"

He obeyed, releasing his hand from your wrist. You quickly moved around him and ran back inside. Steve just laughed to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

"She finally did it," Sam nodded in approval as he and Bucky finished their Rainbow Road deathmatch. "Good game, man."

"Yeah, good game," they shook hands, "but if I'm being honest...I didn't expect things to go down like that. If anything, Steve seems like he'd be the first to confess. The way they're dancing around each other like oblivious monkeys...damn."

"Couldn't have described it better."

...

You flopped onto your bed, panting heavily as you stared up at the ceiling. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt like passing out. Maybe I'll just die like this and I won't ever have to confess for real, you thought. That sounds much better than death by blood loss from a gunshot wound.

"Hey, darling."

You sat up and let out a short scream as you saw Steve leaning against your doorframe, that damn smirk still on his face. "What the hell? You can't just ambush me like that! How long have you been standing there for?"

"Long enough," he chuckled, sliding his hands in his pockets and stepping inside. This time, you were too lazy to push him away, and just allowed him to sit down next to you at the edge of your bed. Steve propped his hand on his chin as he gazed at you, smiling.

You sighed and let your head fall into your hands. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Steve tilted his head in confusion. "How is this my fault?"

"Becau- never mind. I'm busy. I gotta go check up on the new lab I'm working on with Bruce."

You stood up abruptly, but he reached out and grabbed your wrist again. "I'm going to go to the labs, too. He asked me to help with a few things. I think you just found yourself an escort."

"I can go by myself, Rogers. I'm an adult," you gave him a pointed look.

"Ouch. That stung," he pretended to look hurt. "Last name calling? I thought we agreed on sappy pet names. And besides, you know what happened last time you went somewhere alone. You got shot."

"Whatever."

"Hold on," he tugged you back so that you had to sit down again. "Why do you keep running away from me? You confess your feelings in your will and then you run."

"It wasn't my will."

"You said you were scared to die alone."

"It wasn't me. Where is your bout of confidence even coming from?"

"I'm not asking how you feel about me at the moment. Don't feel bad that I found out how you feel about me. Because I'm in love with you too, and nothing can change the fact that I like you even more now."

You swallowed hard.

He smiled again. "And you look beautiful today, doll."

"Stop with the pet names," you mumbled. You couldn't stop the tremor in your tone as you spoke

"Hey hey hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Steve brought a hand up to your face, lightly skimming the tip of his thumb across your cheekbone to wipe away the tears that had fallen. "Hey. Tell me what's wrong, darling."

As soon as that last word left his lips, you lost it. A broken sob escaped from your mouth before you broke down, and he felt guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. Sure, he was lightly teasing you - but he didn't intend for his jabs to hurt you in any way. That was the last thing he wanted to do - to see you cry. He hated seeing you cry.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him, rubbing circles onto your back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken the teasing so far. I'm so sorry, Y/N-"

It took nearly twenty minutes for your sniffles to die down and another ten for your crying to stop completely, but he patiently held you until you did. And when it finally stopped, it still took you several moments before you could bring yourself to meet his eyes.

"I look like a mess," you muttered, quickly ducking your head down to wipe at your nose. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this-"

"You look lovely, regardless," Steve murmured, kissing your forehead. "You'll always look beautiful in my eyes."

"You're such a sap," you mumbled, closing your eyes. "I hate you."

"You know you love me, Y/N."

"No I don't."

"That message told me otherwise. You sounded like you were pretty in love, judging by the desperate tone in your voice-"

"Shut up!"

"Make me," he challenged, a smirk appearing on his face.

You huffed and stood up, crossing your arms. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that, Rogers?"

"Watch your language-"

"Make me."

"Using my own words against me, are you?" Steve raised a brow as he stood up as well, walking towards you. You kept walking backwards until you felt your back hit the wall and internally panicked when you realized there was nowhere else to go.

"Shit," you whispered. "I'm not escaping this one, am I?"

"Not a chance," he chuckled wistfully. You felt your heart do somersaults and your stomach twist itself into knots as he met your eyes, a softened look to them that you'd never seen before - what was it? Just a few minutes earlier you'd find yourself squirming beneath his intense gaze but for some reason, you stayed put.

When his lips pressed against yours, you felt a crackle of electricity across your skin and the world fell away. It seemed as if time stopped and held its breath as it watched the two of you, his arm curving around your waist as his free hand rested at the back of your neck, pulling you flush against him. Though you were taken aback by the sudden gesture and terrified you wasted no time in reacting, sinking deeper into the kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips and fireworks exploded inside your chest - if there was a way to describe pure magic, this would definitely be it. And he felt it too - and he swore to himself that he'd never felt a bigger rush of adrenaline before until now.

You looked absolutely stunning to him in that moment as you pulled apart - with your half-closed eyes, reddened cheeks, and swollen lips - his doing, no doubt. Your gaze slipped down to his equally swollen lips and you felt your face flush at the sight. Steve was quick to catch what you were doing and pulled you back in for more.

This time, it wasn't as innocent and quick. It was more needy, passionate - months, no, years of pent-up frustration he didn't even know he had seeping into it. Years of not being able to tell you finally being poured out into one grand gesture - years of finally getting closure because he now knew the girl he'd loved for as long as he could remember felt the same way.

"Oh my fucking shit."

The two of you were practically gasping for air as you broke apart a second time to see a smug-looking Sam.

"You just- I didn't interrupted something between y'all, did I?" Sam cocked a brow. "Looked like you were this close to-"

"No," you exhaled, "we weren't."

"I'm a GENIUS for fixing that speaker! If I hadn't done so you guys never would've gotten together!" Peter squealed as he appeared by the Falcon's side. "I believe a thank you is in order!"

"I hope my timing isn't bad, but I have to ask," Steve cleared his throat and looked you straight in the eye. "that was a confession, right? And you didn't do it just because you felt compelled to. Be honest with me."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "Yeah...it was."

He broke into a gorgeous, million-dollar grin that made you weak at the knees. He leaned down, lips ghosting over yours as if he was going to kiss you again - but pulled back, much to your disappointment.

"I guess I'm the victor of this battle, huh," he whispered before releasing his hold on you and walking out, leaving you to stand there utterly shell-shocked and speechless as Peter and Sam began teasing you.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 09 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.9 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Future

For the third time today, you hit Jimmy with the fins as you walk by, pretending you didn't notice. He groans and you bite back a giggle. “If you do that again, I swear I'll fire you.” He sings songs, putting the price tags on the new regulators that got here today.

“You can't fire me. I'm very good at selling stuff.” Putting the fins on its place you turn to look at him.

“The Padawan always becomes stronger than the Master.” Crossing his arms, he squints his eyes. “I taught you everything you know, Lily flower.”

“Yup. And I mastered every single aspect into perfection.” Walking around the store, you make your way back to the counter, letting your hair down, running your fingers through it. “I'm a Jedi by now.”

“You're getting cocky. I think you're spending way too much time with Billy.”

“Well, we're living together and dating so...” You move to stay behind the counter, drumming your fingers on the wooden top. “I'd say that yes, we spend way too much time around each other but I wouldn't change a thing.”

“You're the only couple I know who started living together before even starting to date,” Jimmy says, finishing with the regulators and moving to the new swimsuits, starting to organize them by color and size.

“Yeah, it wasn't the conventional way but it worked, didn't it?” Biting your lip, you try to hold back the smile that always comes whenever you think or talk about Billy. It's been a month since it became official, and things have been going well. Very well. The life you had before is a distant memory you don't even visit it anymore. You're still watching the news here and there, some of your old friends were released and the investigators are getting somewhere. But the truth is that this your life. A real life for a change, where the days aren't pointless, and you do love the friends you have, people with who you don't have to watch your manners or think before saying something. You can laugh out loud and make a mess if you want.

“It did. Look, this is girl stuff, can't you–. These are different sizes but they look the same.”

Rolling your eyes, you walk over him, pushing him away. “They're different, Jimmy. You're clueless.” Looking through the bikinis, you take one off the hook. It's blue and pink, with black symmetrical lines all over it. “I really like this one.”

“It's nice. I bet Billy will like it.” He says in a sassy tone, and you roll your eyes again.

“Alright. Can you put this in the back for me? I'll buy it.” Handing him the piece, you focus on reorganizing everything, paying attention to the clients in case anyone needs help. You're humming a soft song when you feel someone approaching, so you turn on your heels to find a guy walking over the swimsuits. “Hello. Do you need anything?”

His lips break into a bright smile, which you respond with a small polite one. “Yes. I was wondering what tank I should get.”

“It depends. If it's just for recreational purposes, the one with atmospheric air.” You say, finishing with the bikinis and turning to give the guy some attention. “Come, let's check them.” Gesturing, you walk to the other side of the store, almost in the back where the tanks are.

“What's this Nitrox thing?” He asks, stepping closer to the tanks, his hand brushing on your thigh. You move away, but since he didn't seem to notice, you decide not to give it much thought. Probably just an accident.

“That's for long dives. It's a mixture of nitrogen and oxygen.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lay a hand on a nearby tank. “But I assume it'll be just for fun so the atmospheric one will suffice.”

“You know a lot about this stuff.” His smile grows wider, and he gives you a little wink.

It makes you giggle. Is he trying to flirt? “I'm still learning.”

“What about... This one?” Stepping closer, he reaches out for a tank behind your back. You know what he's doing now, so you're quick to step aside before he can pin you against the wall.

Taking a deep breath, you roll your eyes. “Trimix. For depths beyond 130 feet. Which one will you take?”

“I could take two atmospheric tanks if you agree on coming with me for a... Recreational dive?”

“Nah, I don't think so.” He's not planning on buying it, so you make your way back to the counter. “First of all, I don't know how to swim. And second, I have a boyfriend.” Tapping on the counter a few times in a happy rhythm, you focus on the other customers around.

“And why haven't your boyfriend taught you how to swim yet?” He comes to the counter too, leaning on it, making you stand up straighter. “Or... Maybe he can't.” He giggles.

“Oh, he can.” You smirk. “He was a lifeguard during his time in Indiana.” As you speak, you see the man himself, walking closer, an eyebrow raised at the guy talking to you. Biting back a smile at his jealous face, you look at the guy again. “He's amazing, actually. Handsome, strong.” Raising your voice just enough for Billy to hear, you lean on the counter too. “But he's also kind and generous. Honest, trustworthy.”

“Sweetie, nobody is perfect so don't even try to make me believe he is.” The guy chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, no. He's not perfect. Billy has problems with anger and he absolutely hates when guys try hit on me.” The moment you're done speaking, Billy touches the guy's shoulder, strongly pulling him away from the counter. “Hi, baby.” You say, giving Billy a bright smile.

“Billy, my dude.” The guy says, nervously stepping back, hands raised. “Didn't know the girl was with you, man.”

“Now you do, so back the hell off.” His thunder voice gets people's attention, but you don't even bother.

“Alright, alright.” He mutters, walking backward until he's in the middle of the store, where he finally turns around and leaves.

“Let me know if you want the atmospheric air tank!” You shout, laughing a little.

“Seriously, why the hell–” Billy starts, but his words fade when he looks at you.

Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle at his expression, leaning a little closer to him. “What?”

“Of course guys will hit on you.”

“Uhm... Care to explain it or am I supposed to guess?”

“You look good, that's it. And all this friendly act when you're working here. The kind smiles, politeness... Guys are stupid, they'll think you're interested.” When Billy leans over, you don't move away, a smirk coming to your lips when his face gets dangerously close.

“So... Are you calling yourself stupid?” You whisper, taking his bottom lip in between your teeth. Some people are starting, you're sure. They all know Billy around here, but it doesn't bother you.

“I was stupid. Now that I'm with you, I'm the smartest man on Earth.”

“Doesn't make much sense, Billy.”

“Doesn't have to.” He rolls his eyes, lips finally meeting yours.

“Hey, hey!” Jimmy exclaims from somewhere behind you. “You can take this home, alright? Remember rule number one? Not making out in work hours?”

“My work hours were done seven minutes ago so...” You snap, turning on your heels and waving at Jimmy. “See ya at the bonfire.”

“See ya, Lily flower.”

“Bye.” Muttering, you sigh at the name he calls you.

Walking hand in hand with Billy, you wonder when you'll be able to tell them the truth. It's tiring to hold on to this lie. It's the only thing left to open up about. That, and the fact that you're, well, rich. Sitting shotgun, you look at the people walking on the sidewalk, quietly thinking.

“Hey,” Billy calls. “Everything alright? Did that guy–”

“No, no.” You assure him, shaking your head. “If that idiot tried anything you'd know.”

“Then what's wrong?”

“It just sucks that they still think my name is Lily.” Running a hand through your hair, you sigh. “I'm (Y/N). And I'm afraid they'll be mad when I tell the truth about who I am, who my family is. I don't wanna lose them.”

“Princess, you're hiding your identity for a very good reason. They know about the kidnappings, I'm sure they'll understand when you tell them the truth.” Billy lays a hand on your thigh, and you stretch your arm to massage the back of his neck. “They're not like those pricks, they'll understand.”

“I hope so. I'm sick and tired of that Lily flower shit.”

“Yeah, I bet it sucks being named after my car.” He says, a smirk on his lips.

“What?” You breathe out, smiling. “Are you finally letting me name your car?” You basically jump on your seat, leaning over Billy to place kisses all over his cheek and jaw.

“Keep that up I might even let you name our future kids.”

His words make you stop, freezing, slowly moving back to your seat. Kids? Is he joking or something? Does Billy even want kids? And does he want them with you? This was never brought up before. Billy nervously moves in his seat, clearing his throat. “What?” It comes out almost a whisper.

“No, just... It just...”

“It's alright. I don't...” Billy enters the small parking lot beside the building, stoping on his usual spot. “Anyways, we still have to deal with things when I'm allowed home, so...” You step out of the car, a little flustered, walking side by side with him. “Until that happens we can just...”

“Yeah, we can wait until you break the news to your parents, then–”

“Yeah.” You cut him off, taking his hand. “We still have time since neither the police or the investigators seem to be anywhere close. So let's have fun now and talk about the future later.”

“Let's focus on the bonfire for now.”

“Beach party!” You exclaim, giggling when he pokes your side on a ticklish spot.

An hour later, you're at the beach, in a long skirt and blue top, talking about the most stupid things as the huge bonfire sends flames up to the sky. You're seated on a huge beach towel, eating burned marshmallows. The wind is fresh and the sky is still fading into the black for the night. Leaning against Billy, you giggle every time he places a kiss on your shoulder. There are way more people here than planned, but nobody seems to care. The music is loud, but the voices are louder. Over thirty people are either by the fire or playing on the water, and you've never felt this... Carefree. Or happy. The same people your parents despise so much, are now the best people you know. Just a bunch of kids having fun, not thinking too much, not overthinking their manners, or looking at others with judgmental eyes. This is easy, effortless.

“Billy!” Someone calls, waving their hand over the fire. “A little help with these coolers!”

“It's Austin.” He says, and you move a little to let him get up. “Finally some food and drinks.”

“Yeah, I'm thirsty.” You complain, turning your attention to Stacy as Billy walks away. “So. You and Jimmy. When is it happening?”

“Shhh.” She takes a look around before standing up and pulling you with her. “He doesn't make a move, so I'm starting to give up this idea,” she says when you're away from the others, near the deck of a small snack bar which is almost closing.

“You like him, and he likes you. What's missing?” You ask, not sure what else to do to help. Jimmy often comes to you for advice, and you do your best to push him into asking Stacy out. But after three weeks, it hasn't happened yet. But if it was a double date... “Oh! Gosh! It's so damn obvious!”

“What?” She giggles, pinching her eyebrows together.

“Double date. Saturday. Movie theater.” You say, winking at her. “You two are coming and leave the rest to me.”

Giving a little jump, Stacy pulls you into a hug. “You're the best. I can't believe I haven't come up with this idea myself but I'm so thankful you're my friend.”

“I'll get you two together.” Pulling away, you assure her. “It's a promise.”

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” Linking arms with her, you start making your way back to the fire. Your eyes find Billy in a distance, and you're just about to change direction when a girl walks over to him, arms immediately wrapping around his neck, her lips chasing his. You stop in your tracks, freezing, throat suddenly dry. Relief washes over you when Billy pushes her away before she can kiss him, holding both her arms when she tries approaching him again. “The audacity of that bitch.” Stacy mutters, and you nod.

“Why don't you go ahead, I'll... Go there.” Gesturing at the snack bar, you step back.

“Lily...”

“It's alright. I'll just get something to drink.” You know the drinks just got here, but you don't care, you just need some time right now. Turning your back at her, you climb the few wooden steps that lead to the snack bar's small balcony, where some tables give the clients a view of the ocean, holding your skirt so it won't get into your way. When you get to the deck, you walk to the very back, where's dark since half the lights are already off.

You don't know why you're feeling so bad. Billy pushed her away, but still, you're... Angry. Stacy is right, the audacity of that bitch... But if she felt like she could do that, she was one of his many... Flings. And it kills you to imagine them together. Leaning over the wooden railing, you put both hands on your head, the wind messing with your hair.

“Hey, there.” Billy's voice reaches you and, taking a deep breath, you turn around with a half-smile.

“Hey...”

“Stacy told me you saw Amanda grabbing me.” He starts, coming to stand beside you. “You know that–”

“Billy, I saw you pushing her. I'm not mad at you, I'm happy, I just...” Throwing your hands in the air, you sigh, letting them fall. “I just don't like the mental pictures I'm having about the two of you.”

“You're jealous.” He states, and when you look at him, he's trying to hold back a smile. “That's how you cope. You like to be alone. I like punching the guys in the face.”

You didn't want to, but you're chuckling anyways. “Yeah, I kinda noticed that.” Billy comes closer, pinning you against the railing and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“It'll take a while for people to believe I'm actually dating someone this time. But they'll get it, I promise.” He places a soft kiss on your lips. “Even if I have to shove away half the girls of California.”

“You're so cocky, did you know that?” You give him a light push, but you move alongside him, leaving the railing behind. “But it's okay. I just... I hope I won't... End up like one of them. Being pushed away.” With a low voice, you look down, the very thought of it breaking your heart a little.

“When you're falling asleep you have the habit of moving your feet,” Billy says, and the subject is so damn random you raise an eyebrow, staring back at him, shrugging your shoulders. “And you take deep breaths as you relax, and it means you snuggle closer to me every time. And almost every morning you find a way to hook a leg around me so I can stay a little longer.”

“You'll have to help me out here because I don't follow.” Furrowing your eyebrows, you cross your arms.

“I was never that intimate with anyone. And I never wanted to, that's why I never took any girls to my apartment.” Billy softly rubs your arms, and for some reason, your attention falls on the exposed part of his chest. The idiot doesn't seem to know what buttons are for... But you don't care. “But with you, I... I want this. And when the issue with your parents is over we will talk about what will come next and–”

“Oh my God!” Someone from inside the snack bar exclaims, turning the TV volume up. “They got them. The police got them.”

After exchanging a glance with Billy, you both rush inside, eyes on the TV. And yes, the police got them. The journalists show the commotion, an abandoned place, all wrecked, as the criminals are dragged out. And the hostages they still held. Soon enough everyone from the bonfire is here too, silently watching. You're relieved, of course, to know the people you grew up with are being released. But it means you'll have to face your parents, and finally make the changes in your life permanent. With a hand on your heart, you stare at the TV without paying much attention.

“Wanna get out of here?” Billy whispers on your ear, and you nod, following him out of the snack bar.

Guess you'll be talking about the future a lot sooner than you thought.

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91

[sourestlemon]

So. I made a bet with my friend that I could get through Omegaverse Haikyuu fanfiction because he says I can’t so if I read https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330632/chapters/30514041 that I’m going to get free icecream and twenty bucks.

But still, Bokuaka! Bokuaka is beautiful, I should rant about it more actually

This is me talking about this fic as I read, so it’ll be updated until I finish

Note, I’ve finished and it’s very very long. You’ve been warned

There’s my review and meta at the end of this as well as some critiques

Spoilers ahead.

“The Jewel of Seijou”

THE WHAT NOW

IWAOIIII

Bokuaka is so fucking cute dear god.

Oh. It’s sinful now

Ushijima better stop throwing shade at my boi’s

“"I can't believe you all think that you can go against the crown and live!" Ushishima says silencing them all. The alpha was slowly emitting his pheromones wanting to show them all his superiority. No one said a word against him. "Toru! I didn't know you'll be as lowly to use your family name to gather us here!" The alpha seethed to the omega that could have been his wife. Iwazumi hackles raised and bared his lips at the beginning of a growl. "And you!" Ushijima turned to Bokuto full on emitting his pheromones making the rest of the alpha's shoulder hackle cautiously and Oikawa to cling at Iwazumi. But Bokuto meet Ushijima calmly, unfazed by the bloodlust while Akaashi was frozen to his spot but didn't show any emotion.”

So what we get out of this paragraph is

1) Bitchy Ushi. I love Ushijima don’t get me wrong he’s precious but like. This fic Ushijima? Son of a bitch walking up in here like “Toru! How dare you be so lowly—“ and fucking trying to dominate everyone.

2) Protective Iwaizumi. Protect the precious Seijou Jewel. Do it, fight for him, protect him he’s scared.

3) Is Ushijima salty because Oikawa didn’t choose him? Oh god, he is isn’t he.

4) Akaashi’s go to emotion isn’t emotion.

5) Shits about to go down, Bokuto is gonna flip eventually, if Ushi threatens anyone—it’d probably be Oikawa or Akaashi seeing as they’re omega’s—I can see Bokuto and Iwaizumi just flipping their shit.

God I’m way to invested. Why did I read this

USHIJIMA IS A COWARDLY LITTLE BITCH IN THIS FIC, STAB HIM HINATA

D O I T

Awww Kageyama cares, Tsukki cares

OH MY GOD TENDOU!

More people came surrounding them. "What the hell," Akaashi recognized Iwazumi's voice.

Iwaizumi’s reaction is the only respectable reaction.

Wait this has major character death in the tags

Fuck

Everyone has decided that Oikawa and Akaashi must be defended but just once I want them to flip their shit and kill someone. Just once.

Bokuto, Lev and Iwaizumi all want to protect Oikawa but Iwaizumi doesn’t even fucking trust em.

Why does everyone act like Nishinoya not wanting to move on so quickly is a bad thing? It’s perfectly reasonable and I hate how everyone is like “What’s wrong with you, do you not like us?” And getting super standoffish or snappish simply because Nishinoya loves Asahi so much and doesn’t want to feel like they didn’t need him.

I really don’t like how Nishinoya/Tanaka/Ennoshita became a thing in this fic. It would be cute if it didn’t just happen because Nishinoya was desperate and if he wasn’t he wouldn’t have fucked Tanaka.

Oh dear god I don’t want Kenma to die.

Oh thank god it’s okay.

Fuck I forgot they had boobs

Did Bokuto almost name the Kuroken baby Oya but changed last minute?

BO ISN’T COMING BACK IS HE?????????

I’m feelin a little sniffly. I might fucking cry over an Omegaverse fic. Oh how the mighty have fallen

Oh my god the stars. I don’t think Bo is coming back y’all. I’m so nervous

The fuckin royals aren’t getting Keiji. No. Nuh-uh FUCK THAT SHIT

THAT’S BOKUTO’S MATE STAY AWAY FROM HIM

-cue mac worrying about oikawa because seijou is allied with fukurodani and an easy way to tear seijou away from the alliance is to kidnap oikawa and iwaizumi might split to keep him safe and ushi fucking knows this and possibly tendou also oiks is pretty as fuck-

BOKUTO IS OKAY!

Iwaizumi making Bokuto promise to save Oikawa if things went to shit makes me so worried but the same time his lil speech made my IwaOi heart so happy.

Suga bby...

BOKUTO JUST KILLED A FUCKING CHILD

Tendou, Ushijima I never thought I’d say this but I fucking hate them right now. They better not hurt the other best Boi’s.

Ushijima is salty as fuck confirmed.

"You truly are a piece of art," Ushijima said gently ...."But not as beautiful as him," the alpha muttered as he threw the omega to the floor.

So, this little snippet sent disgusting shivers down my spine for two reasons.

1) Ushijima just yeeted Akaashi, my son and

2) Any reader knows who the ‘he’ Ushi is talking about is, the only person in this book who is said to be as beautiful as Akaashi. You guessed it, the boi who rejected Ushi-fucking-jima, Jewel of Seijou himself Oikawa Tooru.

The thing that grosses me out the most about this paragraph just on its own is that Ushijima is either guessing about what Oikawa looks like, or he actually knows which overall just gives me the heebie jeebies because Oikawa definitely didn’t want that. What makes my skin crawl in this little snippet is what Ushijima would do when if he got his angry little hands on Oikawa—or Iwaizumi, but Iwa would probably be killed or used as a bargaining chip.

Hmmmmm, I’m pretty sure Ushi is in love with Tendou but the beauty statement still stands possibly???? Unless specified otherwise, because Akaashi and Oikawa are canonically considered the most beautiful people in the fic.

Also this entire chapter just makes me feel so gross, fuck Ushijima man. Fuck him.

My Ushijima loving heart hurts reading this fic.

I just want Akaashi and Oikawa to straight up kill someone. Please, anyone who I don’t care about

I FUCKING SEE THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING AND I DON’T LIKE IT

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

NOT BOKUTO

WAIT IS HE ALIVE

I WANNA SEE MY LITTLE BOY

HERE HE COMES

I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY

"I came right on time," Bokuto forced out his voice cracking with emotion. "Now I can engulf you in my arms and brighten your days despite the absence of the sun. You will no longer have to endure the cold winters alone. I'll be with you, I be there for you and our child," The alpha vowed his hands itching in need.

"Are you going to leave us again?" Akaashi needed to know. The omega already knew that he wouldn't be able to survive being apart from the alpha. He knew that he wouldn't win the battle with the overwhelming loneliness.

"The seas could dry up, the mountains could turn to pebbles, the trees could die and the whole world could be on fire and I still won't leave your side."

That was all Akashi needed to hear as he leaped into his alphas arm and let go of all the pain he has held in

I’m not crying I swear

They walked together side by side and Akaashi finally faced them. They were both beaten, bloody, and torn butinstead of feeling satisfaction he felt remorse. They both looked at him with soft, wide eyes, and he realized that this was the moment they were waiting for. They wanted to see the child that they both desperately wanted and Akaashi decided to give them a parting gift.

Akaashi had won, he had won from the very beginning and he held his trophy who was a small babe with golden orbs, with mutant white and black hair. He hadn't lied to Tendou when he had said that the baby looked exactly like his father.

OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I’M SOBBING DON’T TOUCH ME

Meta and Review

So I just read A/B/O for the first time and I knew absolutely nothing about the entire trope that Mpreg existed and to stay the hell away from it. Please remember this in the meta and tell me if there way of dividing characters is ever specified or if it’s just decided by top-bottom dynamics.

Wow.

The story was pretty good outside of what I’m about to talk about. I liked the ships and most of the buildup, the worldbuilding seems solid, the war and UshiTens situation was really interesting to me and it made Ushi and Tendou a bit morally gray and could’ve talked about how people could do bad things for what they thought were the right reason and everything was clean cut.

Overall? Eh. Could’ve been done better

Not onto the rest

This doesn’t seem as toxic or inherently bad as most fics I’ve seen, I didn’t really like how Omega’s are always inherently feminine—the dresses, jewels, how they’re seen as inherently weaker and sometimes helpless, how they’re always referred to as “my lady”—and aren’t really given another choice because they might have the ability to reproduce in A/B/O but they aren’t women. It’s okay if a man is really feminine but for all of them to be? It rubbed my the wrong way.

I wish that the power structure was handled different in A/B/O in general. Omega’s seem to be treated like they’re helpless and I just...don’t like it? Omega’s might be submissive but that doesn’t make them physically weaker and if it did, I would’ve thought they would have picked up some other useful skills like diplomacy or strategy.

As usually, my example of how a character could’ve been handled better is Oikawa.

He’s my favorite character and I adored him but he just didn’t really deliver. It felt like he was being treated like a kid throughout this entire fic, it didn’t seem like he was doing anything during the war. Even if Omega’s don’t have a lot of physically prowess and abilities, what happened to Oikawa’s strategic and analytical nature? Why was it never mentioned in any of Bokuto’s POV sections because out all the leaders of the Allied Kingdoms, Oikawa is the best strategist—Kuroo is the exception, not the rule and I thought they should’ve been working together because smort boys—but he was simply hidden away.

Now I have no problems with all the protective IwaOi scenes when they’re in immediate danger—it makes perfect sense if Omega’s are physically weaker but have other usable talents that are taken seriously—and Oikawa simply can’t talk his way out of said problem.

I do however, have a problem with cowering Oikawa. That feels so OOC at the beginning of the first scene I cited, where is all of the quick wit and worthless pride from the show? Now, it makes sense for Oikawa to start getting scared and simply slip behind Iwaizumi once Ushijima tries to dominate everyone and all the Alphas start freaking out if Oikawa is at an actual, physical disadvantage—I feel like the alpha’s their have similar frames, or at least most of them do. Bokuto, Ushijima, Kuroo and Iwaizumi are jacked and beefy, everyone but Iwa is relatively tall too. Now, Oikawa’s tall too but he’s much thinner and leaner. I’d be scared too if everyone could break me like a twig if it came down to it—but no ??? Apparently at the first sign of any conflict he just gets scared??? He doesn’t know what’s going on in his own fucking kingdom ???

This is not Oikawa.

I didn’t like how they treated most of the Omega’s actually, it felt like they were just reverted to helpless damsels in distress. What happened to Kenma’s observation skills? Nishinoya’s everything?

More importantly, what decides Alpha’s and Omega’s? Is it up in the air like gender is? What are Beta’s then? It can’t just be who’s top and who’s bottom, that would mean the alpha-beta-omega- status wouldn’t be decided until you had a mate

From what I’ve seen in the fic, it goes by ship dynamics but what if the characters who had more strategic, cunning, observant traits and weren’t as buff and muscly would be Omega’s and had the brain power while characters who relied more on physical prowess would be Alpha’s and dominant in a purely physical way sometimes while characters who were an odd combination of the two would be Beta’s.

Going by my logic, instead of the top being the alpha and the bottom just being an omega without any personality it would be...

Bokuto- Alpha, like he was in the story. He’s definitely more physically inclined then Akaashi.

Akaashi: Omega, same as in the fic. Not to say he isn’t athletic but he relies more on his mind.

Iwaizumi- Alpha, like in the fic but from a purely physical standpoint and because he can rein Oikawa in when his friend starts going nuts.

Oikawa - Beta, he’s quite powerful but he’s also manipulative, strategic and his mind is scary as fuck.

Kuroo- Beta, he relies on his physical prowess and dorkily perfect brain a lot so he’s also a mixture of both.

Kenma- Omega, physically he’s a twig but his mind is what makes him the brain of Nekoma

Hinata- Alpha, he doesn’t use his brain a lot and has a lot of physical power

Kageyama - Beta, he’s pretty smart when it comes to volleyball and he’s also physically strong

Suga - Omega, he’s quite clever and his brain power out ways his physical prowess by a landslide

Daichi- Beta, he firms strategies and relies on his brain, plus his killer thighs

Tsukishima - Beta, he has his hue fur and athleticism but his brain power is also strong as fuck

Yamaguchi - Beta, he seems to be really people smart and eventually his serves are pretty good.

Can Betas get into a relationship with other Betas? I don’t know or care, we stan Alpha-Alpha, Beta-Beta and Omega-Omega ships here

I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS HOW IT WORKS THO

do I have to read more

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Three

Words: 4.5K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I wake up to the smell of coffee drifting in under the bedroom door, and I stretch, seeing Nikki on his side of the bed, snoring softly.

Pulling the covers off of myself, I get up and throw on my robe to cover my naked body and step into the kitchen to see Karen at the counter.

Karen was Doc's best solution he could muster up to try to keep Nikki straight off drugs.

After calling Doc and Bob Timmons that night Nikki shot out our ceiling, Doc asked Karen, who worked at the Mötley office, to move in.

Hats off to her because she didn't argue, and Nikki did calm down a little when she was there because he was convinced she was a spy for Doc and was telling him what Nikki was doing at all times.

Nikki didnt want to hear shit from Doc, so he tried to hide his drug use from Karen when she was home.

"Good morning." She greets me, patiently waiting for the coffee to get done. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"No, no, it's fine, I needed to get up anyway, uh...what time is it?" I ask her, rubbing my eyes.

"About 9:00." She replies.

"Okay, I'm gonna wake him up and get ready and that reporter should be here around--"

I'm cut off by the doorbell and I look at her.

"You go wake him up, get him showered, I'll stall." She assures me, shooing me with her hand as she steps to open the door."

I rush to our bedroom and shut and lock the door, walking over to wake Nikki up.

"Babe, c'mon."  I nudge at him several times until he's groaning a little. "Nikki, wake up."

"Just climb on and get off when you're finished. I'm sure it'll still get up without me being awake." He mumbles tiredly, about to drift back off before I'm hitting his arm sternly.

"Nikki, you need to wake up. That reporter came early. We need to get dressed."

"Jesus." He lets out, frustrated, and I rub my lips together. His hazel eyes open to look at me and he smirks. "You're actually talking to me today?"

I've been ignoring him for nearly a week now ever since he broke our ceiling and embarrassed me in front of our friends.

"I'm getting into character so he doesn't write that I'm not talking to you in the article. Doc said to be as lovey as possible." I add. "So hurry up."

I walk to our bathroom and start the shower, quickly discarding my clothes and climbing in as he trudges into the bathroom.

By the time I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair, he's getting in, his eyes wandering up and down my naked body that currently has soapy water running down it.

"Don't get any ideas, Sixx, I'm still mad at you."

"What kind of man do you think I am?" He puts a hand over his heart as if he's hurt and I roll my eyes, finishing rinsing my hair.

"Move." I say so I can put conditioner in my hair and he grins, about to switch places with me, and his hands hold at my body as we trade spots and I glare at him.

"What? I was helping you move." He innocently states, the slightest hint of a smirk on his lips, and I cut my eyes at him.

He just wets his hair as I get the tangles out of mine with conditioner and we change once more.

By the time he's rinsing his hair again and I'm lathering up in body wash, I feel his finger trace down my spine.

"Nikki." I say in warning and I hear his faint chuckling.

"Sorry." He mumbles, taking his fingers off of me.

When I'm done, about to tell him I need to get under the water, his hands are sliding up my sides and he's getting closer to me, pulling me against him, taking my ear between his teeth in a nip.

"Nikki, we don't have time for this." I let out in a soft giggle.

"So?" He asks, pressing a kiss to my neck, his hands moving up to hold at my chest, rolling his thumbs over my nipples, causing me to take a sharp breath and push my ass against him.

He lets out a soft moan, and I turn to face him, our lips, teeth and tongues meeting in a rough, passionate, kiss, as my body is pulled against his.

"Are you still mad at me?" He says, running his thumb across my bottom lip, looking like he's confident that I'm not still upset with him.

"Get finished, we have stuff to do." I tell him, giving him one last kiss before sliding past him to rinse off.

"Change it to cold water before you leave." He grumbles and I smile to myself, changing the temperature of the water before getting out of the shower.

Once I get my hair towel dried and finish getting ready, I'm cautiously stepping into the hallway, walking where I hear Karen and the reporter talking at the dinner table. 

"Yeah, they..." Karen trails off, seeing me. "...Oh, here she is." She states.

He turns around to face me and I rub my lips together, extending my hand to him.

"Len Donoghue." He tells me, shaking my hand.

"Vivian Sixx." I reply, politely. "Um, Nikki's getting some clothes on now, he'll be here in a minute."

"Oh, starting Valentine's Day off right, huh?" He chuckles and I feel my face go red with embarrassment as Karen attempts to curve the conversation.

"You were saying earlier you attend night classes? What degree are you pursuing?" She asks him and I take the opportunity to step to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee.

Nikki's already there, seeming to be stalling as he takes his time examining the array of coffee cups in our cupboard.

"You don't drink coffee, baby." I remind him and he glances at me before handing me a cup.

"I was supposed to wake up this morning to a blow job. Not a fucking hotshot know-it-all scribe jotting down every last syllable of shit I say only to fabricate and cut it up before printing it in a way that makes me look bad." He mumbles and I give him a soft smile, my fingers running through the ends of his hair.

"It will be okay, Nikki. Just smile and it'll be over before you know it." I encourage him.

He sighs out, kissing me briefly before I pour my coffee and we step to the dinner table, where Len is lighting up at the site of Nikki.

"Hey, man, Nikki." Nikki introduces himself, shaking Len's hand.

"Len Donoghue, it's a pleasure." He smiles enthusiastically at him and Nikki nods before motioning to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna cook some breakfast if you wanna start your interrogation in the kitchen." Nikki says in a joking tone, but in know he means "interrogation" literally.

"Sure." Len nods, the three of us stepping to the kitchen as Karen gets up and heads to her bedroom to hangout until we're done.

I hoist myself onto the counter, watching as Nikki pulls the eggs from the fridge and I tense up as I multiple paper bags on the shelves before he closes the fridge.

I hope Len didn't notice.

"You've even got that particular detailing in here." Len comments, looking up at the mirrored ceiling.

"Yeah, I read somewhere mirror creates the illusion of a more open room." Nikki tells him, grabbing a bowl to crack the eggs into.

"That's why the place is covered in mirror?"

"Yeah, why else would it be?" He pretends to play dumb, and Len glances at me before shaking his head a little. "No reason."

"When did you move into this place?" He asks us and Nikki starts cracking the eggs.

"Uhh...like..." He looks at me. "...Over a year ago? Year and a half?"

I just nod and he confirms it.

"Yeah, over a year ago."

"Who's idea was it to live out here?" He asks next and Nikki nods towards me.

"She liked the house and I got it once we had the money." He explains.

"That makes me sound like a gold digger." I say.

"Okay, we drove by one day and she said it was a nice house and I went behind her back and got it and surprised her with it once I had the money." He corrects and Len smiles.

"Is he always nice like that?" He asks me.

"Despite how he seems publicly, he's a nice guy." I tell him and Nikki shushes me as if I can't tell his secret, making me chuckle as he grins, pouring the eggs into the heated pan.

"There's a lot of mystery around you two, is that something that's good to you or backfires sometimes?"

"It's good." Nikki states. "It's really nobody's business unless we do stuff like this," he motions to Len, "And let people in on it."

"We don't necessarily understand what the big deal is about, honestly. There's plenty of people dating or married to someone who isn't quite like them. The fact we're in the public eye doesn't make it any more interesting, honestly." I add.

"Yeah, people would be disappointed if they saw how our relationship works just like everyone else's." Nikki puts in next.

"I think you two being together really invokes certain conversations because one of you is a by the book Christian, and the other has been accused of Satanism in the past." Len suggests with a small chuckle. "So you're pretty opposite of each other in that sense but you still manage to get along well enough to feel the need to marry one another."

"We're opposite of each other in every sense, almost." Nikki tells him, finishing on the eggs.

"Really?"

"She's more reserved, conservative, quiet, innocent, sober, religious, organized..." Nikki names off a few things. "...and there's me."

"I wanna touch on that, really, because 'sober' is not something associated with rockstars or really this industry much at all, really, with so much money and access to excess and so on, have you really never had a drink of alcohol or was that an exaggeration? I mean, really, your friends, husband, piers are doing God knows what and you've never at least been curious enough to try something out?" He asks me and I shake my head.

"No. And that's not something I ride through the streets and shout out or project at a party or use to talk down on other people with. I choose not to do that because it doesn't interest me, it interests some people, some people enjoy it, but I've never really been drawn to any of it. And especially the really hard stuff, I've never felt the need or allure to that because I've seen what it does to people. But I don't turn my nose up at people who want a beer after work or have some cocktails with their girl friends on a night out. I don't even think I'm any better than the addicts that claw their eyes out while they're on dope. That's their business." I tell him, and Nikki clears his throat, putting the eggs into a bowl to be scooped out by who ever that wants them as he pulls the package of bacon from the fridge next.

"So you're the trusted D.D. when it's a night out?" Len asks me and I nod.

"Oh, yeah." I nod.

"Back to the 'opposites' topic, how did someone like you, get together with someone like her?" He questions Nikki again and Nikki let's out a breath, smirking.

"The clean version." I warn Nikki and he laughs.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv." He nudges me and I raise my brows. "Okay, fine, we met at a club on the strip, Tommy introduced us, and he had told me she was coming down there to see us and that she was a dancer and her mom was super strict, and just telling me and Mick some things about her because he and Vince had grown up with her, but we'd never met her. So she comes down there, and she's dressed like a fucking--I don't even know, nothing like what I was use to seeing on the Strip. And we just couldn't stand each other, honestly. We would aggravate the piss outta each other, I'd harrass her and purposely do and say stuff that I knew would gross her out and she would pick at me and deliberately say shit to get under my skin and piss me off. I called her 'Saint Viv' and 'Virgin Viv' and she'd call me 'Devil Spawn' and we just really got on each other's nerves, man."

"What changed that?" He asks and I wait to see how Nikki's going to say "I screwed her into my ratty mattress" in a PG way.

"There was this one night, I don't even know what happened, but I just realized I was really, really into her, and I guess she realized the same because we've been together ever since." He tells him.

"So, it's worth all the criticism about you not being the real deal because you've 'settled down'?"

"I'm not an idiot, I know people dont talk shit because I've 'settled down', they talk shit about who I've 'settled down' with. And if being with someone who's got my back, and strives to push me be the best in can be, and supports me and helps me up when I need it, then I will loud and proud shout from the hills that I've 'settled down.' I write music based off what inspires me, some of Mötley's best songs have been inspired by the very girl I'm criticized for being with because they either think she's boring or isn't bad enough for me or whatever bullshit they drum up. But I don't need someone who's bad through and through, that would be a disaster. She's bad wear it counts." He informs him and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Nikki!" I scold.

"I'm just saying." He shrugs. "And I'd hate being with someone who's exactly like me because then I wouldn't be learning new things, or having engaging conversation that challenges my views, or see a different perspective, and she wouldn't have that, either. So I think all the street rock posers downing on me for being with a 'goody goody' and the holier-than-thou Tipper Gore carbon copies that give Viv shit for being with a 'satan worshiper' can all kiss our asses and fuck off."

Len nods, looking impressed but not shocked with Nikki's words.

"Wanna add anything to that?" He asks me.

"Ditto." I reply and Nikki smiles at me for a moment.

After Nikki's finished cooking, we're sitting at the table, and get on the topic of music.

"Is there any idea when the new music will be coming out?" He asks Nikki and Nikki nods, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Sometime this year." He says.

"Is it gonna have a 'Theater of Pain' feel to it or is it gonna hold the same change that, that album did compared to 'Shout at the Devil'?"

"Well, we change our sound because we grow. I don't think it's too far off, I think it's all still rock 'n roll, but the sound differs a little bit with each album because we evolve." He replies.

"Any album in particular that you've made so far that's a favorite or is the best yet to come?"

Nikki gets a happy, proud grin on his face.

"The best is yet to come." He states. "Some really cool stuff is in the works."

"I'm glad to hear that because I actually am a fan of you guys' so that's a good word from you." He tells him.

"Great." Nikki says, his bare foot kicking at mine under the table.

I kick back as Len is oblivious and continues asking questions.

"Are you into their music, too, or are you just along for the ride because you kind of have to be?" He nods to me as Nikki and I are now in a kicking war, despite acting like nothing's happening.

"Yeah, I like their music."

He looks a little taken back by my answer.

"You listen to Mötley Crüe without obligation?"

"Well, yeah." I tell him.

"She looks like a frilly flower girl so you don't expect that, right?" Nikki asks, and I kick him under the table and he kicks me back, again.

"What else do you listen to?" Len asks me.

"A little bit of everything. If it's catchy or has a good groove to it, it doesn't matter the artist, I'll buy it. I listen to ABBA, Chaka Khan, Hank William's Jr, Deep Purple, BeeGees..."

"And everything in between?"

"And everything in between." I chuckle. "I also have Bon Jovi but Nikki's always trying to steal it and get rid of it."

"You don't like Bon Jovi?" Len asks, seemingly insulted and Nikki looks at me with cut eyes and a devious smirk, like he's gonna get even with me, later.

"I like Jon, I've hung out with him several times, he's a cool guy. Vocally, he nails it every time. Lyrically, musically, I can't fucking stand it. It's like being stuck on the tea cups at Disney. You wanna get off before you throw up."

"So, you don't mind ABBA, but Bon Jovi's a no-go?"

"...Basically..." He rubs his eye. "But, I mean, I might tolerate some of it if she put it on and started doing a little strip tease or something. I'd consider it, then."

I glare at him and Len laughs, as Nikki smiles innocently at me.

Once we're done eating, we offer a tour of the house, which Len eagerly accepts.

"Obviously, living room." Nikki motions.

"What happened to the ceiling?" He asks, noticing the empty ceiling space.

"Nikki thought it would be smart to throw a baseball in the house. The whole ceiling suffered." I lie and Len raises his brows.

"I bet that was fun to clean up."

"We wouldn't know, we paid someone to come out here and do it for us." Nikki mumbles. "Alright, awards and achievements." He says next, motioning to his freshly reframed gold and platinum disc awards, and my ballet trophies I've racked up from childhood to the beginning of senior year, that Nikki practically made me put on display when we moved in because he thinks it's something I should be proud of enough to showcase to people.

"Guest bedrooms, and bathroom down here." Nikki motions down the hall. "Garage, here." We walk down a couple of steps to the garage door and open it up, switching on the light.

His bike, his Corvette and mine, greet us and Len nods.

"Nothing too extravagant." He voices to us.

"I'm looking at a blacked out Mercedes right now, I might end up getting it soon." Nikki tells him.

"Oh, really?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I was gonna tell you about it later, babe." He assures me.

"Right, like you told me about the Jeep and the Harley?"

"Ha. Ha." He let's out sarcastically. "We have a pool." He quickly discards our disagreement, leading Len back up the steps and into the house to take him to the pool.

By the time the interview is at a closing, it's almost 1:00pm, and I hope he has enough material to make a decent article.

"Thanks for letting me come by, I really do appreciate it." Len thanks us, shaking my hand before shaking Nikki's hand one last time. "It was really an honor get to talk to you, man, good luck with the album. Can't wait to hear it."

"Thanks." Nikki replies.

"Alright, you two take care, have a good evening." He tells us, turning to walk to his car.

"You, too." Nikki says before shutting the door.

When it's shut, he's turning to look down at me.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I'm probably gonna go get some stuff from town." He states and I nod.

"Okay, I'm probably about to hangout by the pool with Karen for a few minutes." I tell him, heading to our bedroom to put my swimsuit on.

I hear the fridge open and shut--he's grabbing some of his heroin--before he's telling me he'll be back in a few minutes.

Once the garage door shuts, I'm stepping out to find Karen in her bedroom.

"Hey," I start and she looks up from where she's laying on her bed, reading. "I was gonna go lay out for a few minutes, do you wanna come?"

"Yeah, I'll be out there in a second. Let me get changed."

The phone starts ringing and I head to answer it, hoping it's not someone calling to tell me Nikki's been in an accident.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Steven's voice happily declares on the other end of the line.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I reply, stepping to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi from the fridge.

"I-Is Sixx around?"

"Not right now, he's running errands in town." I explain to him.

"Oh...well when he gets back can you get him to call me back?"

"Yeah. Is everything alright?"

"It's perfect. Love you. Gotta go." He abruptly hangs up and I furrow my brows a little, hanging the phone back up.

A few minutes into sunbathing, I'm laying on my stomach with my bikini string untied as Karen chats away while I drift in and out of sleep.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Karen tells me, getting up off her pool chair, heading into the house.

I give her a wave of my hand without opening my eyes, letting out a relaxed breath.

My body tenses for a moment at the feeling of Nikki's lips pressing the center of my spine, working their way up to my hair.

"Hi." I say, sitting up, tying my top back into place as he sits on my chair beside me. "Steven called and wanted you to call him back."

"He called again just when I got in so I already talked to him." He tells me and I nod. "I was out getting stuff for tonight." He wiggles his brows for a second and I try not to laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Some more wine for me, the fizzy grape juice for you, and some more candles."

"You don't like just screwing around with a candle on because you can't see everything." I point out and he smirks.

"I didn't buy them for light." He says and I raise my brows, a lusty feeling washing through me at the thought.

"Race you to the bedroom!" I shout, about to take off but he grabs at my hips and pulls me down to his lap, laughing at my eagerness. "Nikki, we don't have time to waste. I have carbonated grape juice to sip on and hot candle wax to be dripped in, and that's not even including the sleazy stuff that follows, so c'mon." I struggle to pull his arms from around my waist so I can get free.

"Viv, we'll get to that later tonight, you gotta get ready for your surprise." He tells me.

"I have a surprise?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"A surprise."

"Nikki."

"Viv."

"...Fine." I huff and he let's me out of his lap, handing me the roses he got me. "Where is this surprise?"

"Can't tell you. Just get changed, dress up a little bit if you want to." He tells me.

I guess he thought since he had died the year before, he should put his all into making up for it the following year.

I have to give it to him, he outdid himself that Valentine's Day...but he had some help.

"Okay, no peeking." Nikki says to me after securing the blindfold around my eyes and I grin, my hand in his as he helps me out of his Corvette.

I'm taken off guard by him suddenly picking me up, shutting the passenger side door with his foot.

"What are you doing?" I chuckle out.

"I don't want you to walk and hear your steps because it'll spoil the surprise."

"I feel you struggling to keep me up." I say to him, poking fun.

"I'm not struggling."

"Okay but if you drop me, I'm kicking your ass." I add.

"I'll kick your ass right back." He scoffs.

"Okay, then put me down and let's go, Sixx. Best two out of three."

"You're like a baby bird: all mouth." He taunts me.

"You're a baby bird: all whining."

"Virgin Vivian."

"Devil Spawn."

"Are you ready to see your surprise or are you gonna keep running your mouth?" He asks and I roll my eyes behind the blindfold and exhale.

"Fine."

He sets me down, and my heels click against the sound of wood.

"Alright, ready?"

"Yes."

The blindfold comes off, and Steven's firing off one of those tiny confetti poppers as he, Nikki and Duff all saying, "Tada!" at the same time.

We're standing inside of Mandy's old rehearsal space, except it's not shitty looking anymore.

The holes in the ceiling are patched up, it's got new lights, the floors are fresh and the once scratched up and worn down mirror is replaced, completely brand new.

I can't even form words, my eyes watering, my hand grasping Nikki's tightly.

"What do ya think?" Duff asks me.

"I-I..." I try to talk, but can't.

"Do you like it?" Nikki asks next and I'm turning to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, nearly knocking him off balance. "Woah." He laughs, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

I'm wiping my tears when I pull away, catching his lips with mine when he leans down to kiss me for a second.

Knowing Duff was the one who bought the place from Mandy to begin with, I hug him to me next.

"Thank you." I sniffle out to him, giving him a tight squeeze before pulling away.

"It wasn't a problem, Viv." He assures me as Steven clears his throat.

"I wiped the finger prints off the mirror." He tells me and I smile, hugging him, too.

"Thank you." I say, ruffling his fluffy blonde hair.

Duff's grasping my hand, turning it over so my palm is facing upward before he's putting a key in it, closing my fingers around it.

I give him a genuine, grateful, closed-lip smile, and he returns it, his kind eyes seeming to have a spark of extra liveliness from being in his element of doing good things to make people happy.

I swear I can see Nikki scowling at us from the corner of my eye, but the look is gone from his face as soon as it arrives.

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter 12

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 5,500

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George was lounging in the warm bath water, trying to use breathing exercises to clear her mind and calm herself. It had been a long day, capping off a long almost-month inside the Supernatural Universe. There were so many questions she couldn't answer and she wished she could turn her brain off; focus on anything else.

"George?" She heard Dean's muffled call from the other side of the bathroom door. "You OK in there?"

"Yea," She answered quietly. "Just humiliated," She added with an eye roll.

"Don't sweat it," Came his unusually sympathetic reply. "We've all been there, or somewhere similar… or somewhere worse," He added off handedly, taking another bite of pie. It occurred to him suddenly that the two of them were alone and Dean had a thought. After a moment's hesitation, he swallowed his bite of pie and called timidly, "George?"

"Yea?" She responded curiously, her voice raised slightly to compensate for the sound barrier. There was such a long pause with no answer that she wondered if it had just been her imagination. As she was about to call out again, she heard him finally.

"Can I ask you something?" Came an inquiry so quiet she almost didn't hear it. He sounded uncharacteristically troubled and… nervous?

"Yea, sure," She answered gently.

"What do you know about Michael?"

"Michael who?" Came her quick, confused reply.

"The archangel? Asshole that's been wearing me as a suit the last few weeks?" She was suddenly reminded of the fact that she was living inside of a TV show and it stunned her into silence. "That Michael? Has he not been on the show or...?" The nervous huff in his reply shook her out of her stupor. She realized this must be a hard topic for him. Unfortunately, though, she didn't have any insight to give.

"Oh fuck, right, Michael," She swallowed and gathered her thoughts before replying with a sigh, "I'm sorry, Dean, I don't really know much. I hadn't started this season yet," She finished apologetically.

"Thanks," Came a sarcastic reply.

She frowned and defended, "Look, I have a life, dude! I get behind, I can't always tune in every Thursday! Trust me, no one is more sorry about that than me right now. Maybe if I had, I could have done something to prevent this insane situation." A heavy sigh dotted the end of her sentence pointedly. Then she had a strange, disconcerting thought:

Would you really have prevented this from happening if you had a choice?

The thought startled her and she guiltily refused to answer herself.

A welcome distraction for her was noticing the silence that followed her answer to Dean; George could tell he was still concerned. Reaching over and grabbing the door handle, she cracked it just enough to spy Dean sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding a take out box. He glanced at her almost imperceptibly and she could tell her eyes weren't exactly welcome, so she turned her head away but left the door open.

"Here's what I've heard/seen on accident," She started, pausing to think and then saying carefully, "He comes back somehow," She heard him bristle but kept going, "And you do something to trap him. Some kind of box… or maybe a walk-in freezer?" She was trying to organize the spoilers she'd seen and identify what was related to Michael and what wasn't. "I know that doesn't make a lot of sense and I'm sorry, but that's all I've got."

Dean sighed and shrugged, "It's alright, George. I'm just… feeling lost. Was hoping for some clues, but it's not on you to save my bacon." George gave a wry smile to the bath water and sat quietly for a moment.

Finally she turned her head to look at him and asked, "You want to know what I do know, Dean?"

Slowly, he turned to look at her with an intrigued eyebrow, "I don't know, do I?"

With an amused eye roll she spoke, "I know this--right now--this story line with alternate Michael? It's two seasons behind where you and your brother end up in my reality. And--at least as far as I remember--this alternate Michael isn't a starring role for very long."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at her in consideration, "Meaning?"

She shrugged and offered, "Meaning, you figure this out. Like you always do. You will figure this out and you will beat Michael and be onto the next big bad, whomever that is. Which, don't even ask because I really have no idea. Haven't watched those seasons at all yet… I think there's one episode where you meet Scooby Doo?"

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes, telling her matter-of-factly, "We already did that."

"No shit?! That already happened?" When he nodded in confirmation George 'ughed' loudly, rolling her eyes, "Damnit, that must have been one of the ones I just watched. What was it like?! Was Shaggy really high? Was Daphne really hot? Was Scooby just adorable?!"

Dean chuckled and answered, "Uh, yes, hell yes, and duh! It's Scooby Doo! Of course he's adorable!"

"Was it weird to be animated?"

He shrugged a little, "Eh, kin-"

She cut him off with a gasp, "Wait! Was all of you animated, like.. did you have all your-"

He shook his head and proclaimed, "That's none of your business!"

"Sorry!" George apologized defensively, then begged, "Tell me you and Daphne-"

"George!" Dean admonished with feigned offense, "I don't kiss and tell."

She scoffed and guessed, "Struck out, huh?"

Dean frowned and simply said, "Her and Fred are an item. I didn't want to break that up," to which George laughed in disbelief.

"Yea, I got it. I think things are starting to come back to me now," George teased him and he shrugged in defeat, unable to deny the fact that he definitely struck out with Daphne. When her laughter died away, she looked at him again and said, "I'm sorry I can't be more of a help. I know, I know, it's not my job to save you but that doesn't mean I enjoy not being able to." They were quiet again for a minute and she sighed, "If I could just call Ryan."

"Who's he?"

"She is my Winchester Wiki," She explained very matter of factly and Dean stared at her with an annoyed expression. With a smile she continued, "She's my friend and she's also a fan of the show; Got me back into it later in life and, well lets just say, she pays closer attention than I do. She'd be able to help you with this whole Michael problem without breaking a sweat. Oh and she's gorgeous," George tossed on and Dean raised a curious eyebrow. She caught his curious expression and asked, "You don't happen to have a phone with trans-universal long distance coverage by chance?"

Dean snorted and shook his head in bemused defeat, "Not on me." He was frustrated that she didn't have more insight on Michael, though somewhat comforted by the fact that-at least in her reality-he wasn't dead yet. That was something, he guessed.

"So," George smirked at him, glee in her eyes, "American's Next Top Model, hmm?"

"What, are you surprised? A house full of attractive models?" Dean gave her an obvious expression.

She shark-mouthed understandably and nodded, "Fair point. Allison cycle 12? Ooof. Hello!"

Dean considered her assessment for a moment, then nodded agreeably but offered, "Mercedes, cycle 2."

George had to remember who that was for a minute but then nodded emphatically, "Yes! Gorgeous and she was good. She ended up top three, right?"

They compared notes for a few minutes, until he finished the last bite of pie in the container he was holding. Then he whipped out his phone and muttered in her direction, "Finish your bath. I'm gonna text Sam for more towels."

When Sam got the text he snagged a pile from a housekeeping cart on their way back to George's room. They had also stopped by the car and brought up a few bags, per his request. Dean carefully handed George the towels through the bathroom door, so as to not accidentally see any bits, and then turned to Sam for a room update.

"Bad news: no adjoining rooms. The best I could do was five doors down. Even more bad news: only one queen bed." Sam held up the room key with a feigned wince. "But listen, I don't think we should leave George alone, so I'll just crash on the floor in here and you can take the room."

"Wow, what a sacrifice," Dean chuckled knowingly at his brother and snatched the key from him. "Shouldn't we have Cas handle it, though?"

"No, why?" Sam protested a little too fast.

"Because he doesn't need sleep. He can keep an eye on the little deserter. Make sure she doesn't do it again?"

Sam frowned, "She's not going to. And if she does, I think I can handle it. How is she supposed to get any sleep with Cas staring at her all night?"

"I don't stare at people when they sleep," Cas interrupted. With a huff he clarified, "I stare at the wall."

Dean looked at the offended angel and shrugged, "It's not that bad. He's quiet. Honestly, it's kind of comforting when you think about it." There was an awkward pause and Dean added, "Sometimes he'll sing for you if you ask nice-"

"Dean," Castiel admonished him for sharing something so intimate. Cas only did that for him.

Sam looked between the two of their sheepish faces and then assured sarcastically, "Yea, a singing angel staring at the wall in the dark. Totally not creepy."

George came out of the bathroom wrapped in the clean towels from Dean. She was now looking a little sheepish as well, "Hey, sorry about earlier. All of it. I jus-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Dean held up a hand to her. "Save it for the morning. You can spill your guts over breakfast. We couldn't get adjoining rooms, so Cas and I will be just down the hall; Sam will stay with you tonight. On the floor," He said pointedly with a 'behave' look toward Sam, who rolled his eyes in irritation. George nodded, barely listening, and let out a tired sigh.

Then she had a startling thought and groaned, "Shit. I'm going to have to put those crusty clothes back on."

Dean grinned proudly, "You're not the only one with surprise gifts." He took the bags that Sam and Cas had retrieved from the car and set them down on the wooden table.

"What's this?" She asked, grabbing one of the handles and peeking into the bag where she spotted the Friends logo hoodie she'd picked out at Target. "My clothes? My deodorant?! Oh Dean! Thank you so much! I would kiss you but you have pie like… all over your face, but thank you!" As she dug into the bags to search for the PJs, Dean looked questioningly at Sam and Cas who nodded in confirmation.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean grumbled, moving over to the sink to wipe his face. Sam shrugged in feigned innocence, laughing internally at his idiot brother.

"How did you get all the clothes I picked?" She asked, impressed.

"We got lucky; Sam happened to hear one of the employees complaining about a nutty woman who'd run from the store like a bat outta hell and abandoned all her stuff," Dean gave her a pointed stare.

She looked first at Sam, and then Cas and Dean, with immense gratitude, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her spirits had been lifted a little. The fresh underwear alone was going to make her feel a thousand times better.

"They mentioned they'd already put back one or two items when we asked about it, so hopefully we got the right replacements." Sam warned her.

"I don't care! I can apply deodorant and brush my teeth; I'm sure I can put together at least one clean outfit with what's here! So I'm hap-" She suddenly stopped and froze, having discovered a strange item in one of the bags. "Wha?" In one swift motion she pulled out a pale pink lace bodysuit and held it up for them to see. With an annoyed, yet curious expression she looked at Dean and asked, "Someone care to explain this?"

Dean held his hands up in innocence and Sam inspected the garment in confusion.

"It looked nice on the mannequin and the Target associate who helped me pick it out said it was bold, yet feminine. Perfect for the new woman in my life," Castiel happily explained, sounding as though he was reciting someone else's words.

George blushed a bit, looking at Sam and Dean like 'is he for real?', unsure how to respond. Both men shrugged unhelpfully, avoiding eye contact with the item she was still holding, and remained quiet. Cas seemed so proud, she didn't want to ruin it.

Finally, she stuttered out, "Wow. OK, well… thanks. Very thoughtful of you, Castiel…"

"If you wanted to provide me with your exact measurements, the sales associate offered to help me pick out a 'matching bra and panty se'-"

"OK, why don't we quit while we're ahead, eh Buddy?" Dean grabbed up four of the remaining takeout boxes and motioned for Cas to do the same. He then reached for the pink, lacey material in George's hand, jokingly trying to take it from her.

She swatted him with it and held it out of his reach, "Hey! You're the old woman in his life."

He couldn't help but laugh in response, though he shook his head in annoyance, and then headed out the door with the angel in tow, "See you crazy kids in the morning!"

When they left George looked at Sam curiously, "Is it wrong that I kind of want to give Cas 'my measurements' and then watch him try to pick out lingerie?"

Sam smirked in amusement but nodded, "Yes."

"Oh, you're no fun," George chuckled and tossed the teddy back into the bag.

"Perhaps the wrong audience?" He suggested with a chuckle.

"Yea, that's fair," She agreed. While she rifled through the bags and grabbed out some black PJ pants, a light blue, short sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of underwear, Sam watched her quietly. To say he was relieved to find her safe and unharmed was an understatement. He'd also been thrilled by her admission that she liked it here, but, like Cas, he was curious what it meant. And what it could mean for him.

Does she like it enough to stay maybe? He cursed at himself for even thinking it.

"Uh, George?" He finally pushed through the nerves and forced himself to speak.

"Hmm?" She responded curiously, not looking up from her bags just yet.

He tried to adopt a nonchalant, yet comforting tone and asked, "When you were saying earlier that you felt… comfortable here? Like you belong? What did you mean?"

Pausing her rummaging, she glanced over at him, caught off guard by the question. Truthfully, she didn't know if she could answer it. She was quiet for a long time, trying to decide how deep she wanted to get into this.

Finally, she turned to him and said, "Back home I… I've always had this strange, out of place feeling. Major dysphoria my whole life and kinda irritatingly painful too, like... full body restless leg syndrome. I've always imagined it similar to how a trans individual might experience feeling like they were born in the wrong body, ya know?" Sam made a noise of confirmation and she continued, "Except, my body is fine--well, it's not the cause of this problem anyway," they chuckled together.

"It's more… my whole being was wrong somehow, like I didn't belong. Anywhere. I had trouble connecting with people and making friends; even my own family seemed so different from me. I felt like I was on a different wavelength than other people, and not in a snooty, I'm-better-than-anybody way but like a sad, I-have-hardly-any-friends-because-I-can't-relate way, so it sucked. Hard. My family wasn't much help; though they tried to help by testing me for every 'disorder' you could think of. Nada. I was just… inexplicably different and no one could explain why. I could barely explain what I was feeling. They--my parents--were surprisingly relieved when I came out after college. For them, my 'struggle with the fact that I liked boys and girls throughout my childhood' explained everything away so perfectly, that they wrote it off right then and there. But it never had to do with that; my sexuality was nothing I ever struggled with, I just didn't feel like I needed to tell them. And since I'm still queer in this reality..." She trailed off her point, allowing him to fill in the blanks, with a chuckle.

Sam nodded with a sympathetic smile, clearly reading on her face how painful her experience had been. Gently he asked, "And now, being here, i-in this reality, you feel...?"

Her head tilted to the side and, looking at him wide-eyed, she sighed deeply, "Now? God, now, I feel… normal? Or, at least what I can only assume normal people feel like." Suddenly her voice was heavy with deep emotional relief, "I don't know how to explain it… and I don't know why, maybe I don't even care why, but I feel so good for the first time in forever. Emotionally, spiritually, physically... The constant restless buzzing is mercifully just gone. Sometimes I think I feel it again--that terrible, agonizing discomfort--and my heart skips a beat. But then my brain registers that it really is gone and I still feel good! And that feeling is almost better than the best sex I've ever had."

Sam shark-mouthed in surprised appreciation and teased kindly, "So, I guess you did know how to explain it?"

George let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding with a chuckle and nodded, "Yea, I guess so. Honestly, I'm a little scared to go back," A few tears that had welled up as she was proselytizing spilled down her cheeks uncontrollably and she reached up to wipe them away, blushing lightly.

As George contemplated her admission in the silence, the guilt she felt over leaving them earlier was back. Why the hell did she leave if she'd felt so damn good here? She also felt like a stupid, impulsive child running away from the only people who seemed to care about her, at least insofar as they didn't want her to die. She felt especially guilty that Sam had stuck his neck out for her with Dean and she'd basically stomped on it.

Sam stood awkwardly, watching her with an empathetic grimace. He nearly leapt over to comfort her but… Christ, was this situation complicated. Maybe if things were different, maybe if she wasn't safer in her old reality, maybe if they hadn't handcuffed her to a chair and interrogated her, maybe if she hadn't spent the last few hours crying through an existential crisis, maybe if he wasn't terrified she would push him away in disgust? Maybe if she wasn't practically naked right now... maybe then he wouldn't feel so torn about walking over and wrapping her up into a bear hug.

After a moment of nervously wringing her fingers, George met his eyes and took a deep breath, apologizing, "I'm sorry I ran, Sam. I don't even really know why I-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," Sam shook his head definitively, taking a few small steps toward her, now within arms reach. "I understand what you're going through-sort of, and you know, in reverse but still-I get it. Don't worry about it," He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it, "I'm just happy I found you."

At his touch, her heart skipped a beat and she felt her whole body flush, goosebumps forming on her skin. The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes nearly made her physically swoon. Was that an admission of something or just a subtextless statement of forgiveness? Staring into his eyes made her feel like she was on the downswing of the world's tallest roller coaster. She had to force herself to break eye contact before she could breathe again. He squeezed her hand once more before slowly letting go and as he did she had a realization.

"Thank you." Mustering up a smile through her butterflies, she clumsily grabbed the clothing she needed. "Anyway, I'm suddenly very, very aware of the fact that I'm naked-oh and have been since the three of you got here," She realized, blushing again. Jesus, I took a bath with Dean Winchester in the next room. Her legs felt like jelly as she tried to remain cool, calm, collect, walking toward the bathroom, "Uh, so, I should probably go put some clothes on, now."

Sam nodded understandingly and said with an earnest expression, "Hopefully not on my account." When George froze mid step and jerked her head towards him, burning red from head to toe, he faltered, "Er-uh-I just meant, you don't need to feel uncomfortable naaak-err-without-I mean you aren't making me uncomfortable while-without… clothes." George was relaxed by his shy, adorable stuttering, although at this point 'shy' surprised her. He'd been just as bold back at the bunker, more than once. He sighed and gave her a meek smile, "Uh, somehow this sounded less creepy in my head."

With a chuckle she put him out of his misery, "Relax, Ravenclaw, I understand. It's not on your account, it's on mine," She assured him, to which he nodded thankfully, a relieved expression on his face. She turned back to the door of the bathroom, pushing it open and stepping in.

When she exited the bathroom again, now fully clothed, the only light in the room was now the small, soft light above the bed. At first, the room seemed empty and George wondered if she'd scared Sam away with all her emotions. She was about to call out for him when she finally noticed a pair of big old feet sticking out from along the side of the bed near the window.

"Sam? What are you doing?" She walked over and found him lying on the ground on top of one solitary blanket.

"Just relaxing." He shrugged boyishly.

"On the floor?"

He clarified, "On my bed."

"Sorry, this tissue paper is supposed to be your bed?" She asked for clarification.

"Standard issue motel comforter. And, yea, it's perfect," He reached down on his side and pulled the right side of the blanket over himself. "See, you just fold the top over and it becomes a mattress and a blanket in one!" He seemed genuinely pleased about his makeshift accommodations, as though he was sharing a trade secret with her.

"Wow," she tried to sound impressed, "clever." She hopped onto the bed above him complimenting a bit sarcastically, "Quite the boy scout, aren't you?"

His head jerked up to look at her. There it was again. Another line direct from his dream falling familiarly from her lips. Hearing the pet name conjured images in his mind of the dream woman saying it. It felt identical.

But, how? That dream wasn't real. It was just Gabriel. George is a different woman, it's just a coin-

"Hey, can I ask you something?" George cut into his internal panicking with a soft voice suddenly.

"Yep?" He tried to seem nonchalant.

"Well… OK, I'm just going to say this because fuck it, I have nothing to lose at this point," She wasn't looking at him but sensed his nervous curiosity right away. Ignoring her own butterflies, she said, "Seems to me that the Sam I met at the bunker would have committed to that earlier 'unintended' innuendo." She raised a sideways brow at him, checking out of the corner of her eye to make sure he understood what she was referencing. When she could tell he did, she finally turned her head to meet his eyes and with a shy smile asked, "So, what gives?"

Sam considered her question for a minute; he wasn't sure where to start. Finally he folded his hands in his lap and shrugged sadly, "Actually, uh-about that, I feel like I owe you an apology."

Oooh, that doesn't sound good, George tried to hide her grimace. Her stomach started twisting in painful knots. What's that you were saying about nothing to lose?

"Por que?" She was trying to stave off a cold sweat.

"For… Well, I guess, how about handcuffing you to a chair and interrogating you for starters? For allowing you to be sexually assaulted by a demon? For letting you risk your life to come with us on this hunt? For hitting on you when you were obviously going through a difficult time? Take your pick."

She let out a breath of surprised relief and smiled curiously, "Oh… well in that case, let me just say: one, your brother was the one who handcuffed me to the chair--and it was understandable. Two, it's not your responsibility to protect me from the likes of Tim. He wasn't the first creep and he won't be the last." He seemed thoroughly unsatisfied by that response, so she tried to lighten it up by continuing, "And three, you didn't let me come on the hunt. Clearly I strong armed you." A tiny snort of amusement emitted from him and she smirked, then added curiously, "And, lastly, just to be clear… you were hitting on me?"

He huffed in humiliation, running his hand over his face, unable to look at her, "God, I feel like a real jackass." A blackhole was growing in the pit of his stomach. "Your world was literally turned upside down and you needed help not--not some weird, bunker dwelling asshole making advances."

"Uh, Sam," At first George laughed; the absurdity of the hottest man on television apologizing for hitting on her struck her funny bone. However, when it registered just how sober the tone of his voice was, the reality of the situation hit her again like a ton of bricks. She realized that part of her was still anticipating Jared to break at some point and reveal all of this had been an elaborate set up. It hadn't occurred to her yet that, for Sam, this was all real. His sincerity touched her.

She swallowed down the rest of her laughter, along with her typical smartass response, and smiled kindly, "Thank you for the apology and I appreciate the thought, I really do, but it's not necessary. You had no idea, considering I lied to you--which I'm also sorry about if I haven't already said that." That last part came out quickly upon realizing she might not have apologized yet. He gave her a kind smile and waved her off gently, so she continued, "So, please don't feel guilty. And I'll let you know if your advances are ever unwanted. Promise."

The deja vu hit him again so hard it knocked the wind out of him. His eyes snapped up to meet hers from his spot on the floor. A blush creeped across her cheeks as he stared curiously. She was back on the roller coaster, butterflies tumbling in her gut, but forced herself to keep eye contact, allowing him to conduct his search. She wasn't sure what he was so determinedly looking for but she hoped he was finding it.

A mix of emotions wrestled within him at the moment. Though he knew logically it made no sense, he was having a harder and harder time denying that he knew this woman, intimately--in every sense of the word. But, how?! And, holy shit, was she saying what he hoped she was saying? He could feel his hopes skyrocketing while he struggled to hold them down in self-preservation.

A huge yawn broke out on her face, ruining the moment and snapping Sam out of his stupor.

"Whoa, Jesus," She laughed a bit, surprised by the force of the yawn.

"Time for bed?" Sam tried to mask his disappointment at the disruption. She nodded agreeably.

"Listen, could you at least take a pillow, please? One pillow? For me?" Pulling the sheets back, so she could climb in, she yanked a pillow out and tossed it over the edge of the bed. She heard it land with an audible POOMPF right on his face. "Oops," she said with a snicker, reaching over to turn off the lamp on the table while he adjusted the pillow behind his head.

Sliding up under the covers, she settled down on her back. The deafening silence in the room allowed her mind to wander freely while she stared up at the ceiling. After a moment she rolled onto her side and peeked over the edge of the bed, surprised to find Sam's beautiful hazel eyes staring intensely back at her in the dark.

She whispered, "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Came a soft, low rumble, as he continued to stare back.

"How did you find me?" She wondered.

"Uh…" He turned away from her quickly and shifted nervously. He felt compelled to be honest with her; luckily the shroud of darkness made him bolder than he would have been in the harsh light of day. "We tracked you through the cab company mostly. Lost your trail at the diner and then… I'm not really sure. We were driving around and when I saw the sign for the motel I… uh, just had a strong feeling that you were here?"

"...uh huh." His answer surprised her. So much so, that she had to break eye contact and lay back down. She stared at the ceiling in shock.

What did that mean?

Though even as she asked herself the question, she had a feeling that she already knew. It was a feeling that didn't exactly put her at ease; raising more questions than it answered. She mulled it over for a few moments, before deciding she was too tired to pull at that thread.

She finally shrugged a little and said, "Good instincts?"

"Yeah… that must be it," He trailed off, having a nearly identical conversation with himself, and they fell silent again.

"Sam?" She said, choking back a nervous laughter. When she heard him respond with a curious grunt she hesitated. Finally, she blurted in a quiet, definitive whisper, "Samgirl. No question." When she could hear the smile behind another, practically silent--as though he was trying to hide it--grunt of confirmation she smiled wide, adding quickly, "And just so you know, that is the first and last time you will ever hear me utter that silly term of my own volition."

"Understood," He murmured in a teasingly serious tone, making her laugh quietly.

With another big yawn, she forced herself to stop engaging. Before rolling over, she tossed over her shoulder, "And don't tell Dean. He'll be devastated and we have a job to do." The sound of his joyful chuckling was the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her.

[zainbap]

like autumn leaves, we fall

BangDae college/university AU  •  masterpost  •  AO3

words: 3079

part three

~

Saturdays, for some reason, become their thing.

Less than one week after Culture Night, the knot in Daehyun’s stomach is back. Exams are on Monday, and he’s behind on his reading. It’s like the balance he thought he’d found was nothing but a lie. Like he survived the first wave of a tsunami, but didn’t expect the second one. He sleeps badly, some nights not at all. Sometimes he has to choose between eating and sleeping, and most of the time he prioritizes sleep. He’s losing momentum.

He’d made plans to study all weekend in preparation for Monday, but those are immediately crushed when his roommates decide to throw a party at the dorm Friday night. The sound of people yelling and stomping down the hallway wasn’t even drowned out by the loud music, and Daehyun quickly gave up trying to read in his room. If he hadn’t been so stressed out, he probably would’ve joined the party — he can be a very social person when he wants to be. But instead he’d put his headphones in and curled up under the covers, and eventually managed to fall asleep.

Saturday morning he’d woken up early, while everyone was still sleeping off the booze, and had gotten in a few hours studying. But even that went to shit eventually, when the rest of the house woke up and immediately started plotting for the follow-up party.

Daehyun had packed his bag and left.

It’s gone colder now, the chilly autumn air smelling of dry leaves and apples. It’s still sunny, most days, and it takes Daehyun a while before he learns not to get tricked by the blue sky. It looks almost like summer, but the temperature keeps changing. Sometimes he wears a jacket in the morning, but gets home with it slung over his shoulder. Some days he leaves the jacket at home, and spends the whole day shivering from the cold wind blowing straight through his clothes.

He only brought a hoodie with him today, and he already regrets it on the bus. But the library is warm, and he shudders a little as soon as he walks in. Then nearly stops dead in his tracks.

Because Yongguk is behind the front desk, looking up as he comes in. Their eyes meet, and Yongguk smiles. It feels different now, after meeting last weekend. After having a meal together.

Daehyun had planned to just go straight for the table in the corner and hide from the world, but of course he can’t do that now. He reluctantly approaches the desk.

"Somehow you’re only here when I don’t want you to be," he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck

Yongguk raises his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing," Daehyun says, shaking his head.

Yongguk studies him for a moment.

"I’m here every other Saturday," he says then, as if Daehyun had asked.

Dahyun blinks.

"Oh." He nods, feeling heat rise to his face. "Okay."

Yongguk smiles, amused, but then it fades.

"Are you okay?"

Daehyun inhales and exhales loudly, making it sound like a big, dramatic sigh.

"I feel like I’m going to explode," he admits. "We have our first exam on Monday, and I’m not prepared, and I can’t study at the dorm because my roommates are partying like there’s no tomorrow."

"Ah," Yongguk drawls, brows furrowed in sympathy.

Daehyun just sighs, shrugging.

"So I’m just… gonna sit here and read. Until the library closes, at least."

Yongguk nods slowly, looking like he wants to say something else but doesn’t know what. Daehyun feels awkward for putting him in that position. Again.

"Sorry," he sighs, frustrated. "It’s like— Every time we run into each other, all I do is complain."

Yongguk shakes his head, offering him a rueful smile.

"Hey, I get it. And it’s not your fault."

Daehyun winces.

"I could’ve planned my reading better. I just— I fell behind. I should’ve noticed."

"These things happen," Yongguk tells him, voice firm. Convincing. Daehyun’s heart flutters a little at the sound of it. "Especially in the beginning. Don’t beat yourself up about it."

"No. Right," Daehyun just agrees and nods curtly, not wanting to stand here and let Yongguk pity him anymore. "I’m just gonna get to work. I'll… be in the corner."

He feels embarrassed, walking away to settle down at the table in the corner. Embarrassed about not knowing how to talk to Yongguk after hanging out last weekend. He probably should’ve said something else, something more. But he’s feeling really low right now, and he hates that someone as well put together as Yongguk has to see him like this. He’d been so proud last week, when he thought he was starting to get the hang of it. Now he just feels like an idiot.

-

-

The next two hours till closing time drag by. Yongguk doesn’t leave his desk, to come talk to him, or offer him water, and Daehyun can’t decide whether he’s relieved or not. He gets a lot of reading done, and a good collection of organized notes scribbled down in his notebook.

It’s quiet, with only a handful other students spread out among the shelves. It’s peaceful, and Daehyun feels a lot better when packing up his things than he did when walking in.

He walks back to Yongguk’s desk when it’s just a few minutes till closing time, their eyes meeting instantly. Yongguk looks unsure how to greet him, and Daehyun doesn’t blame him. He offers a shy smile, and Yongguk quickly copies it.

"Got any work done?"

"Yeah," Daehyun sighs. "Not as much as I would’ve liked. But."

They glance up at the clock at the same time. 4 PM. Daehyun thinks about how they’ve probably started drinking again back at the dorm already. Last night there had been a herd of guests arriving around this time. He sighs internally, racking his mind for ideas of where to go now. Maybe the central library further downtown. He’s pretty sure it’s open a couple more hours.

"Have you ever tried reading or writing in a coffee shop?"

Daehyun blinks, looking back to Yongguk who’s eyeing him expectantly.

"No?" He says, making it sound like a question. "I… can’t imagine that being a good idea? With all the people and noise and… stuff."

Yongguk shrugs, looking down briefly as he packs his own bag and grabs a set of keys from the desk.

"I do it a lot," he says. "I think it’s nice. You sort of filter out the noise."

He fumbles with the keys in his hands. If Daehyun didn’t know better, he’d say he looked nervous.

"There’s a nice place just around the corner," he says finally. "I’m just heading there now, actually, to get some studying done. My sister’s got Tigger today, so." He glances up, offering Daehyun a smile. "You wanna come with me?"

-

-

Daehyun hasn’t been to many coffee shops in his life, but the one Yongguk takes him to makes a warm, cozy feeling settle in his gut the moment he walks in. It smells of sugar, coffee, and cinnamon.

His stomach growls lowly when get to stand in line, spotting the baking goods next to the counter. Yongguk must have noticed, because he smiles, and Daehyun blushes darkly. He’s only had a small breakfast before leaving the dorm.

The barista greets Yongguk with a wide smile, and it quickly dawns on Daehyun that the two of them know each other. He glances at the name tag. Sungwon. He’s wearing a pink apron, which somehow goes really well with his pastel mint green hair. His bare arms are covered in colorful flower patterns, the tattoos reaching all the way down past his wrists. He seems like a happy guy, and while Daehyun usually feels awkward when talking to people across a counter, Sungwon makes him smile.

"You know, Bbang," he says while pouring Yongguk his coffee. "You should bring friends with you more often. Human company, you know. It’s good for you."

Yongguk huffs, seemingly embarrassed as he shakes his head. Daehyun watches the tip of his ears go pink. It’s really cute.

"I thought ‘Bbang’ was Junhong's thing," he points out, amused.

Sungwon laughs, carefree and loud.

"Honestly, I don’t remember who came up with it first," the barista admits. He hands Yongguk his cup and starts making Daehyun’s vanilla latte. "But we’re all in on it. It’s too great not to be."

Yongguk rolls his eyes. Daehyun can’t help but smile even wider. It feels special, to see Yongguk with friends that aren’t Junhong. To meet them when being in Yongguk’s company.

"Speaking of bread," Sungwon continues when handing Daehyun his cup. "You want anything?"

He gestures to the pastry showcase next to him. Daehyun’s eyes immediately land on the strawberry cheesecake, but he shakes his head. He doesn’t like to eat sweats in front of people — especially not when he's the only one doing it. He’s not sure why, it just makes him feel insecure.

Yongguk shoots him a glance, and for a moment Daehyun expects him to protest, but he says nothing.

"Alright," Sungwon says, grinning. "Good luck studying, you two."

They thank him and step away from the counter, Daehyun following Yongguk over to a table next to the windows. Judging by how he made a direct beeline for it, Daehyun gets the feeling it’s Yongguk’s usual spot. He smiles at the thought.

"Is he a close friend of yours?" He asks as they sit down opposite each other.

Yongguk nods.

"Old friend. Yeah."

Daehyun hums, looking back to where Sungwon is greeting the next costumer with a grin just as blinding as the one he and Yongguk had received. He wonders if he knows this girl, too.

"He’s nice," he says.

Yongguk is smiling at him when Daehyun looks back again, and it makes his heart flutter.

"Yeah, he’s great," he agrees fondly.

He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful, before adding:

"Sometimes I think about how two people can ruin each other’s day, without either of them meaning to. Without them being bad people. Maybe one of them was just having a really bad day, or maybe both of them did. Like… a person you run in to on the street, or a barista. If someone is acting bitter or rude, maybe they don’t mean to be. Maybe they’re not usually like that, they’re just dealing with some shit, but you don’t know that, because you only meet them for those few seconds of your life."

He looks back at Sungwon behind the counter, who’s just handing the girl her latte.

"Sungwon gets that," Yongguk hums. "I’ve seen a lot of retail and service workers who just… match their attitude with the costumer’s, which often just makes for an uncomfortable and awkward conversation. Sungwon doesn’t do that. He tries really hard to just… make someone’s day." He shrugs, turning back to Daehyun. "I think it’s great."

Daehyun blinks, surprised. He’s not sure what to say.

"Wow," he says finally. "That's… an awfully interesting thought."

Yongguk chuckles, looking somewhat embarrassed, but nods.

"Quiet people have the loudest minds."

Daehyun arches an eyebrow over his cup, swallowing a big sip of hot coffee.

"Who said that?"

"Stephen Hawkins."

Daehyun hums, taking a moment to ponder, and Yongguk lets him.

"Sounds like it fits you," he says honestly. Carefully. Hoping he’s not coming across as rude. "I’m not sure about me though. My mind is always loud, but I can be loud, too. When I’m excited or… among people I know." He feels awkward saying it, awkward for pointing out that the two of them don’t really know each other. But Yongguk doesn’t look offended by the reminder. "I don’t think quotes like that should define you."

Yongguk nods, looking thoughtful for a second.

"You’re right," he says. The corner of his mouth twitches. "That’s a new quote to live by."

Daehyun huffs.

"Write it down, so you don’t forget," he jokes.

"I’m gonna print it out and put on my wall," Yongguk assures him, grinning.

Daehyun laughs, and it’s as if something loosens up inside him. It feels good, to laugh. He can’t remember when he last did it properly. When feeling this comfortable, and not just doing it to fit in among his classmates while working on group projects or getting drunk at the bar.

He laughs when he’s with Junhong and Jongup, but he hasn’t had time to hang out with them properly in weeks. They’re both so busy, and have plenty of other friends from school. And Daehyun knew that, before moving here. He knew they wouldn’t be able to hang out with him every single day. But it still hurts, thinking about it. About how lonely he still feels, even after being here a month. He misses Youngjae. He misses being surrounded by people he knows and loves.

He feels a sudden lump form in his throat, and he swallows thickly around it. Yongguk seems to notice the change in him, because his grin goes stiff before it falls away.

"I’m sorry," Daehyun says, before Yongguk can even ask. He looks back down at his coffee, circling the paper cup in his hands just to have something to do. "I’m a mess today."

"That’s okay," Yongguk says, voice gentle. Daehyun doesn’t trust himself to look back up, but he can imagine the kind look on Yongguk’s face. He always looks so kind. "Do you— Do you want me to go?"

Daehyun immediately shakes his head, finally lifting his head to meet Yongguk’s concerned gaze. His hates how fragile he feels.

"I skipped my first class this week," he blurts out. "And I know that’s not, like, a huge deal or anything. But I’m just scared it’ll start a chain reaction or something. That I’m going to skip a lot of them, because I’m so tired. I’m always so tired. And hungry. And—"

Lonely.

He shakes his head, pressing his lips together. Here I go again.

Yongguk’s expression only grows deeper with concern. But it doesn’t feel as condescending as Daehyun had expected it to. Maybe because he knows Yongguk struggled, too, a few years ago. Maybe because they’ve talked about this before, and it felt alright.

"I think you need to give yourself a break," Yongguk says after a moment. His voice isn’t harsh, exactly, but it’s something. Something that makes Daehyun listen. "You’re stressing yourself out when you don’t need to. Everyone will fall behind. Everyone will mess up. That doesn’t mean you’re screwed, or that you can’t find your footing again. It’s never too late, until you just give up."

Daehyun nods, dropping his gaze back on the table again. He tries really hard to take it in, to believe that what Yongguk is saying is true.

"There’s a guy in my class who failed every single exam during his first semester," Yongguk goes on. "Everyone thought he was gonna drop out and give up, himself included, but he didn’t. He just needed some time to find study methods that worked for him, and once he did, he caught up."

Daehyun purses his lips, feeling a small spark of hope in his chest from hearing that. He lifts his gaze to meet Yongguk’s eyes again.

"Thank you," he murmurs, honestly.

Yongguk gives him a simple nod, smiling faintly.

"Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve only been here a month. It’s not too late to catch up."

Daehyun lets out a long breath, nodding to himself. Yongguk is right. He’s just… been so caught up in his own expectations. Everything is so new, so alien. But that doesn’t mean he’ll never get used to it. He just needs to learn how to find time for everything. Learn what routines work in this brand new life. And it’s overwhelming, realizing just what a change everything is, but he knows he can do it.

He  straightens his back a little and reaches for his bag.

"Okay, let’s get to work."

-

-

As it turns out, Daehyun can study really well while sitting in a coffee shop.

After only few minutes the sounds around him turn into a comfortable background noise, one that doesn’t distract him while reading paragraph after paragraph. He’s pulled out of his bubble every time he reaches for his coffee to take a sip, briefly observing Yongguk being equally immersed in his own books in front of him, but it’s easy to get back to it. He looks over to Sungwon a handful of times, and is always met by a grin. It’s cozy and comfortable.

When Yongguk tells him the cafe is about to close, several hours later, it’s way past sundown. It’s gone dark outside the windows, and Daehyun really wishes he’d brought a jacket with him. They pack up their things, and throw away their empty cups.

Daehyun is starving, and he’s not looking forward to go back to the dorm, but he’s feeling at peace. He happily waves at Sungwon as they step out, promising to come back soon.

Once outside, Daehyun shoves his hands inside his pockets and bunches up his shoulders, as the cold wind blows straight through his hoodie.

"You better head home," Yongguk tells him, his tone close to a chuckle.

Daehyun huffs, nodding.

"Yeah." He looks down, awkwardly scraping his foot on the asphalt. "Thank you, for today," he says, looking back up with a flush spreading on his cheeks. "You didn’t have to bring me along, but I had a really good time. So."

Yongguk smiles brightly. He looks beautiful.

"I wanted to," he says honestly. "And I’m glad if I could help, somehow."

"You did," Daehyun hurries to say, nodding. "Thank you. I’ll… remember what you said."

Yongguk nods, still smiling. He opens his mouth, hesitating for a moment, before speaking again.

"If you want to, we could keep doing this. Meet here, I mean. And study. I do it almost every weekend. Usually Sundays, when I don’t have work."

Daehyun’s heart skips a beat.

"I’d like that," he says, voice close to a squeak.

Yongguk grins, ducking his head down a little as he nods. He’s got a beanie cover the tips of his ears, but Daehyun still pictures them going slightly pink like before.

"Alright. So. See you tomorrow? I’ll be here around noon."

Daehyun nods, breath hitching.

"Sure. Yeah. I’ll be here."

Yongguk gives him another gummy smile as he waves goodbye.