#Not sure if I'd consider myself an adult though

[omo-potty-prince]

Story Time (I almost peed my pants on the bus)

Last night I unintentionally got myself into a real potty emergency situation.

I was at a restaurant for about 3 hours, during which time I drank a lot of water. The waitstaff kept refilling my glass and I kept drinking it all. I wasn't keeping track of time and before I knew it, it was time to catch the bus home and I didn't have enough time to go to the bathroom.

No big deal, right? That bus was supposed to get me home in about 25 minutes, I could definitely hold it that long. I was feeling a bit of an urge already when I left the restaurant but 25 minutes is no time at all.

What I did not account for was the amount of disruption and traffic that seemed to be occurring in my city last night.

About 5 minutes into the bus ride, an announcement was made that in a few blocks we'd be diverting because the street was blocked due to a protest. At this point I considered getting out to go to the bathroom and then just finding another way home, because the last stop before the diversion wasn't too far from my university campus which I knew had open bathrooms.

But the diversion route didn't sound too bad! I figured it would only add another 10 or so minutes to my route, and maybe that was risky because my bladder was really starting to ache, but I could hold it. I was sure I could hold it.

And then the route got diverted a second time because of construction. At this point we're in a part of town that I'm really not familiar with, and I'd been on that bus for 30 minutes already. Traffic was at a standstill, and I couldn't sit still any longer. I was wiggling in my seat, my thighs were bouncing and I had put my bag in my lap so I could hold myself without people noticing. Luckily the bus wasn't too crowded.

Another ten minutes went by and I really, really started to feel like I might actually pee my pants on this bus. I don't know what the protocol is for being an adult wetting themself on public transit, and I did not want to find out. The seats were clearly not absorbent, if I had an accident I knew it would make a huge puddle on the floor and everyone would see and hear it.

The ache in my bladder was starting to get really intense, and my pee hole was tingling.

Luckily, one of the other passengers hit the button to be let out of the bus even though we weren't at an official bus stop, and the bus driver made an announcement. He said that it wasn't safe to let us out immediately because there wasn't a safe path to the sidewalk, but he'd let us out as soon as he could.

5-10 minutes later, he was finally able to open the doors. There was a bit of a step down, and as soon as my feet hit the pavement, I leaked a little. Thank god it didn't show on my pants, but I could feel the wetness in my underwear and it made it way harder to hold on. I could feel my pee filling my urethra, begging to be released.

Because I'd gotten out early, I was still way too far from my apartment. It would be at least a 25 minute walk, and I knew I'd never make it. So I had to run into the nearest restaurant and beg them to let me use the bathroom even though I wasn't a customer. Luckily the host was very kind and let me go. If she hadn't, I'm sure I would have wet myself.

That being said, even getting from the front of the restaurant to the bathrooms was a challenge. The bathrooms were at the far back of the restaurant, down the end of a long, long hallway. I thought that might be the last straw, and I might lose control right there, mere meters away from the toilets.

But I made it, just in time! I rushed into a stall and started peeing the second my pants were down... maybe a second before they were properly down, if I'm being honest. I peed for a good 70 seconds, and it felt amazing finally letting it all gush out of me.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying I'm not rich?

Wait stop hear me out

So the thing is, my father is wealthy. Or at least he made enough money to have two Ferraris and a boat, which to me are the most useless things because why would u spend that money on this when u could spend it on food or commodities but details

When I was young, any time I asked for money or something, he'd make a huge deal about it. He'd make me feel awful, so awful that I just stopped asking for anything at all, starting from my teenage years to my college years, and I survived entire months, living alone during college, with 50 dollars to get by. For groceries and bills. And yes, he was nice enough to pay for my rent (170 dollars back then) but every time I'd be the worst piece of garbage for asking him. Worst thing was, I wanted a job, but he had this delusion that any sort of job that would take me, basically customer service, i wanted was "underneath my daughter" so he legit didn't let me and he'd go to big, big hoops to not allow me to do so

I'd never buy clothes or other necessities: I spent my teenage years just putting together what I got from relatives to make some savings, and I'd survive on that. He'd go splendid on my birthday and christmas, I guess, he'd buy me things, but I came to dread those days because the thought of him spending money -and how he reacted to it- always sent me into a blind panic so yes even though I got nice gifts I was never happy about it and I really really don't like my birthday

So I was always the girl who had two Ferraris to my friends, and they'd always get mad at me when I honestly told them "actually Im not rich" or "I'm sorry I'd rather go to the cheaper place" - because I legit thought i wasn't - and called me an asshole. But This was my father's money and I lived with him, but I rarely saw an actual dollar, everything I bought was with my savings and I spent years and years accumulating it, hoarding it. So I lived in this fancy house, but I'd wear 3 dollar pants and worn shoes because that's what I could afford with my money.

Note that even paying my school fees was a nightmare to me, because my father openly said I was a parasite and screamed at me but whATEVER

So um, my friends always said i was an ass for saying I didn't have any money, when my father was swimming in it. But when u survive on the allowance ur aunt gave u for an entire month, u really don't feel like it? and I always always felt so bad about it, because it felt like they were right and I was an asshole for pretending I don't have money. Except I didn't. I really didn't. That was all his, not mine, and while he did pay school and college flat rent, he was always making sure I knew what a burden I was for it. So yes, I'd still say I was actually not rich - even though I was lucky enough to have someone pay for me.

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that, when it's not mine and I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

Note: I am a grown adult now, I live on my own, pay my own things and have my job. And he's happy that he doesn't have to pay for me anymore, is baffled by my relationship with money (I don't like spending it ahah), not so much about me not living with him though. (The weird thing is he wants me with him, but not to take care of me which, honestly, valid) I do have a better relationship with him, but we never talk money because I live on minimum wage - ironically enough in costumer service - and he doesn't, so to me spending 60 on groceries is a lot (150 bills destroy me honestly, so winter is a joy) and he always, always mocks me for it. It's weird how he goes around with a Rolex and snuffs me for wearing Primark pants and then people constantly just... Think I have money at all and get mad at me when I say I don't

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that if it's not mine, if I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

[pix-writes]

So, I'm going to answer these two requests in the same post, because I feel if I did them seperately I'd probably end up repeating myself. Hope that's okay! (NSFW will be at the end of the post under a banner, so 18+ below!)

I think both the stan twins have a complicated relationship to the idea of being parents, whilst they are fond of their memories together as kids, they otherwise had an awful upbringing, whilst stan got kicked out as a teen, I don't think Ford would have had the greatest time either in still being in contact with his family, in fact I have a lot of theories that he more or less cut off contact with them by a certain point in his early adult life when conducting his research in the Falls.

I think their expeirences with how their parents got together and how Filbrick treated his sons as either means to an end or dead weight in his life, meant that they were never keen to start a family early on in their lives and 'settle down', stan more out of circumstances/ wanting to travel the world, and Ford out of wanting to focus on his career/ acheiving greatly in the fields he wished to pursue. However, they were raised around the 60's and would have faced at least some societal pressures and influence (even from their parents) that at some point they had to find a girl to marry and have children with. Whilst neither of the twins really exhibit a desire to fit into the norms of society, I think they definitely considered and probably even fantasised about their future as a parent, regardless if they truly wanted that future or not.

Ford I think would have the narrative of "Of course, once I've done x and researched x, then hopefully I'll find a woman that actually wants to talk to me and then maybe we'll get married and settle down once I'm x age..." and then, satisfied with his internal answer to those societal pressures get's on with his studies. I'm sure Ford has thought about it a lot and ruminated anxiously over the fact that he can't seem to connect with anyone on a deeper level, I mean its practically part of what drives him to study the abnormal in the first place! He's fantasised about meeting someone, who like him is strange and unusual in some way and as driven to seek out intellectual, academic pursuits. He thinks maybe they could focus on their careers together and settle down once you both get to a certain age. You may be 'older' parents by his parent's/generation's standards, but he's never really cared for that and it makes sense for him to focus on his career first and foremost, anyway. He's not putting anything off, not at all!

They both love their family still and love the twins deeply with all of that said, though! Ford in seeing them realises all that he has missed from his time in the portal, even though he feels its silly after all this time to regret the past, it does make him wonder the 'what ifs?' - if he had been more in the twins' lives up to this point, or if things had gone differently, would he have even learnt the lessons he needed to; or would he have been as absorbed into his career as he had been and not had them in his life?

Ford loves being around the twins, they're the most loveable pair of kids AND they're his family <3 Once he's starting to get over all that has happened he starts to really enjoy their precocious natures - it gives him a glimpse of what may have been, however small, into what it would be like to have children. I think he does think it over and considers if it would've made him happy. After all, he isn't his father, maybe he would've been better at raising them than his father had been with them...

So for the sake of one of these requests, let's say that he does want to be a father! HCs for dad!Ford and pregnant S/O:

Ford is going to put his all into reasearching potentially EVERYTHING there is to know about pregnancy, concieving (if you're purposefully putting effort into having kids, that is) and child rearing as he can before you do get pregnant/concieve. It's what he does best and he'll even be trying to research what the best parenting methods are and calculate the possibilities of what can go wrong for the baby, you, etc etc. I mean you can't go into anything unless you're 100% certain you're willing & ready to undergo any of the potential outcomes, right?

He has the best intentions, but if you really don't want to know all the freaky/dangerous outcomes that could happen to you and the future baby/babies, then you might need to have a firm conversation with him. Might have to also remind him that you need to be a team in this, parenting is one of the things with endless amounts of advice and not all of them are going to work or be ones you want to make, part of being a parent is finding out/knowing your style and not overthinking it (or at least trying to).

Will certainly do his own 'check-ups' on you in addition to you going for your regular doctors/hospital ones. Enrolls you both in a class for new parents, but ends up criticising it and is convinced that you can learn everything you need to know at home anyway (finally he sees the value of the internet!)

The fact that he is a lighter sleeper is both a blessing and a curse, he won't mind waking up for the baby any time day or night but when you're in the last trimester and you're uncomfortable he's likely not getting much sleep either! Will be incredibly attentive in trying to solve it though, and that goes for the rest of your pregnancy too! He's there to put oil over stretch marks, set out your vitamins, help you get the most comfortable positions, fetch whatever food you're craving and so on.

Never got to be at the twins' birth and so is absoluely not going to miss the birth of his children for anything! He does fear about things going wrong, though, doesn't think so at first but does have a few nightmares about it. Is anxious about your pregnancy being high risk, since multiples clarly run in his family and being an older parent. Wonders if the baby will have any 'abnormalities' like his polydactly and whilst he will accept his child 1 million percent, he is already worrying over how they will be recieved by others.

In labour, he's definitely in tune with you, he's not one of those lazy, unconcerned husbands that you see annoying/ignoring their pregnant wives in hospital. Is incredibly good at rolling with the punches in an emergency situation. Absolutely sobs when he gets to hold them for the first time. Eventually manages to relieve hold of them when Stan comes over after the birth by convincing him that you need him for something so he can get to hold is nibling, haha.

Loves to smooth his hands over your belly, is excited to feel the baby move and talks to them <3 Definitely the dad who plays them classical music as well!

I think that his S/O being pregnant he just gains a different, deeper appreciation for you! The fact that you're bringing life into the world is incredible and he's there when its wonderful and when its difficult, he knows it's not all rainbows and sunshine and will often tell you that if he could find a way to alleivate your pains or carry the baby himself he would!

Is very protective of you when you're pregnant, more so than he normally is in public. Hates when people cross boundaries and make you uncomfortable, gets especially mad at strangers wanting to touch you and will not let that happen if he's with you.

Ford as a dad would be amazing, he's not perfect by any means, but whatever his children are curious about he has a ready answer! Is actually good at getting to the root of the loop of 'why' questions into what they really want to know/do. You can often see him with his kids, looking up at him like he hung the stars because he has an answer for almost anything they can think of.

Whilst he has to very carefully shut away his lab and make sure it's under tighter security for the kids when they're younger, he now gets to do all sorts of nerdy things with them. Even runs his own smaller, simpler version of D&D&MD for them, ends up becoming a family tradition to have a 'games night' because of this.

Schooling is something he takes very seriously, and he can be a firm parent when he needs to, though debates on whether they should be homeschooled or not and for how long - whatever you settle on, he's going to make sure his kids have all the help they need with homework and will encourage them to take any extra curricular activities/hobbies they may want to do. Your kid shows an interest in music? He'd be showing them all the different instruments that they could maybe play! They want to join a sport, he'll be at every game!

Ford will be there to celebrate their acheivements in life, whatever they may do, I think he'd be a very supportive dad after the events of the show especially. And he'll be incredibly protective of them of course, no one is going to hurt them and get away with it lightly!

Not to mention these kids will have the most fun-loving chaotic uncle in the world! Ready to regale them with tales of all the adventures he and their dad have gone on ("please make it more G-rated, Stanley"), and when they're older cover for them when they want to do more rebellious things - Stan is going to make sure they get back home safe!

Now for the NSFW:

I think like I said, Ford generally isn't much into the idea of having kids --> but that doesn't mean you can't have a breeding kink!

The element of this kink that is so appealing to him is the 'claiming', the need to mark you in some way. He finds it hot to think about you being filled with his cum.

In the back of his mind he has a little voice that says he should feel some sort of shame for the dark, possessive nature of his thoughts around this kink, for wanting you to be 'mine' (his). Its almost like a ritual to him, to combine his cum with yours, to fill you; you are his and he is yours. He's not really religious, but I think in an intimate relationship he feels like he wants to be as close to you as possible, your his to worship and his to protect and keep safe and to pleasure. If he could find a way to meld souls and minds with you he'd be tempted to do it (but on the other side of things, especially ford post-bill betrayal, I think he's too independent to really do that haha).

It's practically filthy the amount of times he's imagined you pressed into the 'mating press' position, legs hiked up onto his shoulders.

When he finishes, wants you to hold his cum in, presses it back in with his fingers or gets you to raise your hips, legs crossed.

Surely thinks about the possibility of you getting pregnant from it. It sometimes creeps into his mind when he sees you interacting with the twins or other kids/babies. It makes him feel feral. Likes to think about what it would be like to see you pregnant, even if he doesn't actually want kids.

[hashimasims]

Presenting Kaye for @changingplumbob's Dating Deanna

Hello there! Umm . . . My name's Kaye and I'm applying to be a contestant on Dating Deanna

I've just recently aged up to a young adult (21 in Watcher years) and moved out of my Mother's house and into an apartment in San Myshuno! Nothing I ever did made her happy but I think most of that stems from the fact that we're on one of the spare branches of this save's legacy family - did I forget to mention my last name is Glynnan? I was also born a human which is a MAJOR area of contention for my mother Deliliah who thinks it's a disgrace but my big brother Domenic loves me just the same and doesn't care that I'm not exactly the girly girl princess mother always wanted. I wanted to play football instead of joining the cheer leading team in high school and I'm a bit of a glutton - though I consider myself more a foodie who just enjoys ALL food!

I'm an Adventurous sim and I love the slopes of Mt. Komorebi just don't put me on a set of skis, snowboarding is the only way to go down the mountain! I do have to admit that though I don't dislike rock climbing I'd much prefer using the safer machines found at gyms to actually climbing the mountain after hearing about my Uncle Daolong's incident.

I'm working on becoming a professional athlete one day and here's to hoping one of the EA Gods will patch in professional snowboarding. If that happens I'd be the happiest woman ever! But currently just making Candles and selling them on Plopsy to make a bit of extra cash while I slowly move up the athletic career corporate ladder.

I love listening to music at the end of a long day but PLEASE no winter holiday music! I heard far to much of that All I Want for Winterfest Song while I was working retail as a teenager I NEVER EVER want to hear it again if I can help it!

Now for the specifics I guess . . .

I'm a cisgender female still exploring their sexuality. I'm attracted to both men and woman so being classified as Bisexual might be easiest though I'm leaning more towards Pansexual since I don't really care if someone is nonbinary, trans, genderfluid etc and I've met a few Sims who claim they're bisexual but won't date Trans sims, to each their own but why? If someone makes me happy and I them it seems perfect to me!

My traits are Adventurous, Music Lover, and Glutton. I think there used to be more like Socially Awkward and Vegetarian but my Watcher wasn't sure if @changingplumbob had the more traits mod so removed the last two

My current aspiration is to be a Master Maker

My likes and dislikes are below ↓ There's quite a few but My Watcher actually cut it down from what was there when I was a Teenager

Am I OK with getting flirty with the other contestants? I'm here for Deanna but if any of the other contestants flirt with me I don't see a problem with it since we're not in committed relationships or anything.

Am I open to Polyamory? Maybe? It seems to be working fairly well for my cousin where monogamy hasn't been working for my mother - three kids from three separate failed marriages yikes! Maybe you shouldn't talk trash about El when you don't have even half as healthy of a love life. Sorry mom I know it's not proper to air your dirty laundry on national tumblrvision but oh well! Domenic raised me to think honesty is the best policy so . . .

Open to woohoo? I mean it's part of romance now a days so I'd be alright with it. I just won't let my brother tune in those days. Sorry Dom!

Am I open to flirting with Joey? I think I could be! Again I signed up for Dating Deanna and don't want to hurt her feelings but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess

My watcher is ALL IN!!!

[mamabunnie]

First I'd like to say I *do* think "wow she's so cool" when I see your posts

Second, I'm very new to the whole abdl thing (not so much mdlb, though not quite at all close to the extent that a lot of your stuff is) and I was curious if you'd share how you got into it? I've discovered it through Tumblr, and although it seems nice I'm not sure I would actually do anything in real life, maybe in the right relationship or with the right mommy. Does posting about abdl stuff feel any more intimidating then posting about anything else? I've considered making abdl posts before myself but I'm a bit nervous/embarrassed about it still

Of course if you don't feel comfortable answer then I don't at all expect you too! I'm just curious about abdl as a whole, and others experiences with it :)

If you are okay with answering, would you be okay with me asking other questions? I'd be happy to come off anon for that, I'm just admittedly a bit embarssed about people recognizing my blog when I'm not really ready to put this side of myself out there like that 😅

Well, thank you. And how I got into it? So, when I was 17, I became an age regressor/cg. It was a weird transition for me regressing and all that. It wasn’t kink to me obviously, just something I needed to help cope with a lot I was going through. Safe to say, I’ve taken care of people so I’m quite confident in my cg head space. I don’t regress as much these days cause adulting is so damn hard and my house is not conducive for that.

As for Abdl, it was like two months ago. I can’t even remember how I got into it lol all I know that it was two months ago. At first it was like “Woah girl, hold on, why are you attracted to this?” Now it’s fine. So I’m also new to it. I feel like my posts lack the abdl flare ✨ most of my posts come from the yearning that consumes me lol

Would I do it irl? Yeah of course. If you’re still on the rocks about it, it’s okay, take it slow and steady. And making posts comes easy to me cause they’re my thoughts, I can’t really discuss it with my irl friends so pouring it out here is a great avenue for me.

And, you can definitely ask me more questions!

[horse-girl-anthy]

under the cut, I discuss my relationship with RGU and how it influences my understanding of the show's purpose.

it's been 10 years since I first watched RGU. I didn't go into it looking for anything intellectual or challenging. even at that age, 16, I was seeking out complex art, but in 2014, RGU didn't have quite the overbearing reputation that it does now--or anyway, I'd missed out it being considered a cryptic masterpiece. my impression of RGU was that it was a "shoujo romance" but with two girls instead of a het ship. I was totally on board with that.

I think going into it with that mindset mafde my relationship with the work different from a lot of other fans'. at a fundamental level, I don't view the show as a "critique" of shoujo tropes, or of fairy tale romance. there was a time during which I was persuaded to see it that way, but I don't anymore, and a lot of that is down to thinking back to my younger self.

I've talked about this before, but I didn't engage all that deeply with RGU at first. it unsettled and confused me in a way I wasn't prepared to deal with. since I'd expected a much simpler story, I kept resisting the more complex aspects of the work. what's more, it was touching on things I didn't want touched on. Utena, Anthy, and Nanami were all characters I was afraid to fully identify with, and Akio was a violation of all my girlhood dreams and ideals.

despite that, I was very moved by the final episode and would rewatch it off and on for years after. I remember being 18, very lonely and upset in my college dorm room, and telling myself, "there's no prince coming to save you," which to me meant "there is no force to rely on other than yourself." I'd, of course, thought things like that before, but this time it sunk all the way down to my bones. I explicitly linked this revelation to RGU.

still, I think back to those girlish feelings, which RGU trampled on so thoroughly, with a sense of nostalgia and tenderness. RGU carefully outlines the dangers of dependence, particularly when it is caught up in gendered power struggles. yet, it's only natural for a person who's still a child to be dependent. I don't think we need to "critique" dependence; we just need to understand it. RGU is much more sympathetic to kids than people give it credit for. it's sympathizing with the painful process of becoming independent--an adult.

going further, why exactly was I looking for a "shoujo romance" with two girls? it wasn't as if I was stupid or mindless. I knew that a lot of the romance content I was consuming wasn't "high art." I did, in fact, read several straightforward yuri romances where girls just saved each other and nothing particularly "deconstructive" happened. I liked them, just like I liked the het and the BL I read.

are some of those types of stories regressive? sure. but honestly, most of them are just meant to make the readers feel comforted. even though my tastes are more sophisticated now, it's not as if I'll turn down comfort in art today either.

to bring it back to RGU, I think what I'm getting at is that I don't see it was a work which is casting judgment at all, not on other stories nor those who consume them. I think it actually captures the appeal of romance to the fullest extent. for instance, the tenderness, protectiveness, and yearning between Utena and Anthy, as well as much of the story's angst and melodrama. I was very unhappy as a teenager. I liked stories about love; I liked to imagine that I could love and be loved. in that way, RGU wasn't so different from any other romance I enjoyed.

there's a "have your cake and eat it too" aspect of the story. it uses the wrappings of genre to engender emotional investment, and that level shouldn't be discounted, because it's the foundation of the work. then the mature themes are layered on that foundation. thus, RGU both captures the primal emotional appeal of love stories AND demonstrates that, unless you become an adult and free yourself of illusions, you'll never be able to attain love. it depicts people rising above systems which seek to manipulate their desire for love and connection, but said manipulation should not obscure the motivating drive of the series. not only does RGU not condemn "the shoujo genre," but it is actually the pinnacle of shoujo romance for refining the deepest desires of its core demographic.

[pinkberrytea]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Eeee tysm for the tag @nyx-knox and @honeybee-bard! 🥹🙌❣️

When did you start writing?

I used to write fanfiction when I was 13 years old, but as an adult, this is actually my first time dabbling in creative writing! I released my first work back in April, crazy to think it’s been barely four months since I started!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Horror and mystery are actually my favorite genres, though I'm not sure I'd be able to pull either off? I should give it a go one day, maybe!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

To be honest any comparisons at all would make me plenty happy since I barely consider myself a writer 😅 There are some people in the fandom who are endless sources of inspiration for me though, all authors in my recs list and ao3 bookmarks, for starters.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

No BG3 merch sadly, yet!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just daydreaming honestly. Also listening to music helps plenty! Researching lore and brainstorming ideas with friends too. But mostly just daydreaming!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt and comfort, and also angst. Lots of it, for some reason. It does surprise me how angsty all my writing ends up coming across, but I try to balance it out with some melodramatic fluff, I guess? I do want to try my hand at some less serious/more lighthearted themes eventually though, branch out a little!

What is your reason for writing?

Coping, mostly. Also as a sort of therapy, to sort out my feelings about themes that are important to me and that I’ve been processing through media. And no less relevant, simply as a self-indulgent outlet! I write what I myself would like to read.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Every single comment is incredibly motivating for me, but of course, I do twirl my hair and kick my feet whenever someone tells me about which passages they liked the best and how they specifically felt about a certain scene. Also, whenever people pick up on a detail I was sure would go by unnoticed!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want my readers to think of me as a friend, as someone who is always accessible and up for talking about writing, be it mine or just in general!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, this is a toughie. I have a very flowery and verbose style, though I’m not sure that’s a strength? I guess it could be, depending on your preferences. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, really.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I don’t think highly of it from a technical standpoint, but I do pour my heart and soul into every single piece, and that makes them all special to me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I can sincerely say I write mostly for myself, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to write anything at all because I don’t think I could live up to anyone’s expectations. Though of course, the feedback I receive on a piece may in fact influence whether I feel inspired to expand on it or just move on to something new. Even if I’m typically my own main target audience, comments are always greatly appreciated!

No pressure tags ✨ @locallegume, @judasiskariot, @inkymoonbunny, @starryjuicebox and @kalmiaphlox!

[pondhue]

honestly having a hard time trying to justify watching s8. we beat rick prime. imitation voice actors just feel Wrong to my autistic ass (tho i support them firing JR obviously). what do we hope for? more Diane backstory that will make her being dead/gone across the multiverse all the more painful? the birdperson child? am i a poser that "classic adventures" aren't enough for me?

edit: sorry in advance that this response is kind of long. i'm gonna be tagging it as #long text and #longtext for easy muting aaahhhh

anon your concerns are super valid. like, if you find yourself having a hard time, there's no harm in taking a step back and waiting to see what happens before giving it a chance. and if you still can't justify it for whatever reason, that's fine too. considering what Rick and Morty is and what it has become, it's completely understandable. i don't think you're a poser for feeling the way you do. i personally prefer that they steer from that too, and/or if they chose to still explore that route even now, i hope it's in a way where they deconstruct the formula rather than uphold it. Rick and Morty is the type of show where it challenges the viewer, but it also has the potential, i'd like to think, to challenge the people working on the show themselves (even more-so than it already has from what i've read/watched/heard). there's no harm in having expectations and going "i've had enough of this thing, i want something new". personally, i just see it as you being critical of media you consume and enjoy, which i don't think should ever be seen as a bad thing. if anything i think it should be practiced more (within reason of course). and i've also been asking the same questions to myself. i also have no clue what to hope for either, and after ruminating on it, i'm simply trying to embrace that maybe there's nothing to justify in terms of choosing to watch it or not. again, you could either wait until it comes out and give it a chance, or not! i'm choosing view s8 as all of us literally "sitting in the back seat of the ship" and being along for the ride, embracing the chaos. that's how it felt for me in the second half of season 7. it felt as if they were considering viewers who genuinely LOVE the show and just want it to get better (which could be cope on my part!! idk!!!) i think with how s6 went and especially with how s7 ended, i'd be more surprised if they went back to the classic formula (pre, like, season 5) after EVERYTHING that's happened thus far. not to mention that they're locked in with adult swim for like, many more seasons so i'm sure the concerns you're expressing here are definitely something they've considered and are likely now even more-so with the traction the show has been getting again. i truly want to believe that the minds behind R&M do not want to let themselves or the show itself grow complacent (again, could be cope and me just being really mentally ill about this show). sorry if this is incoherent/rambly/not what you were expecting when sending this ask. you really made me think more about all this though and i hope this answer suffices!

[cockroachi83]

how come you're not proship but you do understand the concept of consuming and making questionable/taboo things without liking those things in real life?

That's literally proship/profic stuff

ProSHIP applies to SHIPPING, which, in my opinion, that has formed based on what I have seen and experienced, refers to pairing two characters romantically (or sexually) and is something you actively cheer and root for in any way. I do not consider canonical pairings that an author includes in their work as a ship, which is a fandom thing, even though it stands for relationSHIP.

I do think including a problematic relationship within your work is normal, but how you handle it is another thing. As I said, I believe having this as a plot point, a part of a character's development, situation, or whatever else, is fine if introduced as troubling, and not something encouraged or romanticised. Therefore, this would exclude me from the proship definition, as I don't think any pairing is fine.

As for profiction, I would say this is a bell that rings closer to me, but one I still don't entirely agree with, because as far as I'm aware, it also implies that you accept the existence of pure pornography with no lesson to teach or story to tell, other than introducing a very concerning fetish, that I think should be kept within your bedroom walls, and not shared in public spaces, in scenarios that - even though include FICTIONAL victims - still illustrate an abusive situation that takes place in different forms in the real world. I do not agree with this part, so I would rather not call myself profic. If I'm wrong about this definition, correct me, but I'd rather not call myself something I'm not sure I identify with.

I think fiction has a right to be and that you don't necessarily condone the cases you portray in your work in real life, but the way you go about it can say a lot about you. Fiction and reality are things that entangle within each other, that coexist, and that affect one another. I don't think that spreading content, which, despite what the author might actually think, shows the things included as normal, or "bad" only in a way that is supposed to be arousing, in spaces easily accessible by anyone is a good thing. It can be very harmful, and even as a coping mechanism, isn't an entirely healthy one. Instead of moving forward, you are constantly surrounding yourself with your trauma; that, however, is not mine to judge. For as long as you don't expose other people to your suffering and "share it" with them, risking for them to spiral downwards, you should be free to handle your troubles the way it helps you. Your well-being should not cost the state of others. This would be going off topic, though.

This is not directed towards you, since you politely asked about something that seemed to bother you, but I have been subjected to LOTS of harassment from people in the proship spaces, which seems oddly out of character, considering those people stand for freedom of speech, no harassment, and all that stuff. I have had grown adults over 30 promise to cause me meltdowns on purpose just because they didn't agree with my DNI. I have a long history with that space, and I have not been treated kindly by it. I am no knight in shining armour and I am not actively working towards taking all of this kind of fiction down or getting the creators off the internet. I feel uncomfortable and I don't agree with their ideas, so I kindly ask for them not to interact with me. I'm aware they can still consume my content and I am unable to stop them from it, but they have the choice NOT to let me know about it. Don't comment, don't follow me, don't like my stuff, that is all I ask. I think that doing me this favour, which would cost my comfort if not done for me, is really not that hard to do.

[the-sonic-crew]

It did take me forever to actually send that ngl (the social anxiety thing) im actually shaking rn so my spelling may be a bit off, but i am able to send things to people when im slightly comfortable most of the time depending what i write i immediately regret it, it sucks and yes my mom is not a doctor though she tries she never does research.

She says she researched my adhd but i assume only the rough surface of it, but thats fine ig

But yes i remember in my first year of high school i was so nervous it was like pretty much during covid but we were aloud back into school with a certain protocol i remember this vividly because i remember feeling so bad for my group members, i was so nervous and everything but when it came to my turn to present i had the papers in my hand and i shook and stuttered so bad i almost cried and you could actually hear the paper almost rip, someone has to take over luckily for me my teacher was the best so supportive she was my tnt/advisory or whatever you call them teachers you need to visit everyday for atleast 20 minutes before a class, but she told me i didn’t need to present alone by myself even though i didn’t say i word that day or anything.

If i do get comfortable with someone i become the biggest CHATTER BOX in the world and honestly im surprised people stayed friends with me, i did take drama class and let me just say that did help me slightly but thats mostly because i had friends with me to help me out in the class pretty sure i would have broke in that class all by myself…

Anyways sorry about the rant it will be hard to speak up about this to my mom but i will definitely try i saw that shadow also has social anxiety, how do you deal with it shads?

Shaking so badly rn haha, but bad shaking does also run in my family so topping that with my social anxiety is probably bad, its the reason i learned to be so gentle with things and it makes my family have to remind me with certain things that I don’t need to be gentle

Damn i realized i wrote a lot sorry about that little rant of mine

Please, it's not a problem.

I'm still proud of you for being able to send us a message in the first place.

Have you considered the possibility you may have selective mutism?

I'm no psychiatrist/psychologist but it sounds like it could be a possibility.

Selective mutism is essentially where you cannot speak in public/when your uncomfortable, but can speak when you're comfortable and at ease.

It's just something I'd look into.

Anyways, I understand it's hard but I sincerely believe talking to your mother and/or having a trusted adult talk to her for you would be a very good choice.

But I also understand it's difficult, Sonic hasn't social anxiety a day in his life, he wouldn't understand how you feel, but I do and I know how difficult it is.

Please take care, and feel free to send us a message anytime.

[yourlocalaphrodisian]

Hi, it's me again.

Missed me? I know I've missed y'all <3 This has been a LOOOOONGGGG three years LMAO. Last I was here I was still a kid, but now I am, surprising even myself, an adult. Yes, ya boi is 18 as of September 24th.

But this isn't a personal blog, so I'd lay off on the personal stuff except for that I've had a shit ton of ups and downs in these three years and a lot has changed... Including my faith.

Religion, to me, has been a constant in life. From birth to this very day, I seek religion. I was born Muslim, grew up Muslim, but then fell away from Islam. That much I'm sure my old followers know. I leaned back on Hellenic Polytheism when Islam became inhospitable. I leaned back on what to me was the most important thing in life: Love. And that Love was Mother Aphrodite.

Love holds the world together. Humans are communal creatures. Love is at the centre of our existence, our society and our civilization. From Prometheus, from Adam, from Manu and from the first modern homo erectus — Humanity has relied on love. Love for oneself, which manifests as survival instinct. Love for one's family, which manifests as protectiveness. Love for one's neighbours, which manifests as community. And even Love for one's enemy, which manifests as diplomacy. Love is a great power. I might even go as far as to say Love is the only power.

Perhaps it was my monotheistic upbringing which made my praxis so centric on Aphrodite, and I acknowledge that many may have not shared that henotheistic view, of a supremacy over all other divine beings. Perhaps it was my reason, of my then childish brain, which made me put Aphrodite on a pedestal above all.

I still exalt Her greatness, and I miss her dearly.

No, I have not practiced in these three years. However, I have never felt safer going out of a religion than I have with with faith. I must give it that credit. So what pushed me away?

I'd promised I wouldn't turn this vent-y, but here I am, laying my heart bare to you all. But alas, this is a temple of Love, is it not? Hearts are to be laid bare.

I'd considered reason, I'd considered need. I rationed with all I had, tried to reason with myself the existence of a divine being. Perhaps it is my idea of divinity as a personal force rather than a universal one which drove me away. I am not immune to bias, alas.

But reason was often at war with me. I needed divinity, I needed religion. I needed a crutch to lean back on, to lay my problems at the feet of in sacrifice. I needed a God. Allah didn't fulfill that role, so I sought the old gods.

Old Gods of a nation which isn't mine. I'm Bengali, that much you must know. This feeling wasn't there when I first practiced, but as I've grown into a bigger age, though still relatively measly at 18, I felt the rift between me and the gods grow. I prayed to them in Greek or English, which always felt a bit odd on my Bengali tongue. I know, the Gods don't care about the language you use. But, again, it is my own bias acting against me.

So where do I stand now?

Nowhere. I wish I could say I've achieved anything, but really I've got nothing very fruitful out of these three years. I'm still me, but, I don't intend to come off as boastful, more mature, more introspective, more... Indifferent. I've grown into a rather nonchalant person. Nothing bothers me, or at least I don't think too much about it to let it bother me.

Another way to put it would be I've turned shallow. The differences of blood and bone faze me. It is a bit cruel to say this, and I do not intend any offence to anyone, but I cannot bring myself to pray to a white man's god.

Aphrodite isn't a white goddess. She originated in the Levant, and in my practice she retained her Levantine aspects. However, even so, it's become harder for me to connect. It's been painful, but I do, in some corner of my mind, believe that the Mother has given her baby Dove the chance to fly on his own.

So, do I believe in Aphrodite?

It's... Complicated. Currently I don't practice any religion, though you could call my beliefs Hindu to some degree. So I do not engage in worship, nor do I call myself religious. But do I believe in Aphrodite? Yes. A thousand times yes. I'd be a fool not to believe in her. I'd be stupid not to believe in Love. Cheesy as it sounds, you'd know what I mean if you read the ramble on Love earlier in this post.

So, will I continue to post, now that I've finally decided to pay Tumblr a visit? I'm not sure, to be fairly honest. We'll see what the Gods have in mind, but the chances are... I won't. Or at least, I don't think I'll be posting theological or votive posts. So while I don't want to call it a goodbye, I also don't want to potentially lie and say I'll be consistent. I genuinely do love this community, and I've made good friends from it. So what I can say is — I'll be here. If you need me, I'll be here. As a friend, as a listening ear. I'm still around, and life will be well.

So, in short. I've missed you all, and I continue to miss you. I've been absent, I can't promise to be present, but I'll be here as a roadside hermit of sorts.

Khairete <3

In other news, FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 FREE SYRIA 🇸🇾 FREE SUDAN 🇸🇩 and may all revolutions be in the people's favour, gods willing <3

[goodluckclove]

"literary junk food" reminder?

mm FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT.

Okay so like. I'm calmer now. I woke up, made a green tea, and had my daily Weekend Wife Look (That's when I look at my wife while they're still sleeping and think about how much I like my wife). But yes, I saw something on the internet that upset me yesterday and for some reason I've decided I need to talk about it.

Under the read more, though. I got. Rambly.

First off I should clarify a few things, as this is something I can see a certain type of person using as a way to dub me "anti-intellectual". I am not an anti-intellectual. I consider myself decently intelligent and above the norm in terms of the amount and variety of literature I've read. I won't call myself well-read because that's another label I do think is mostly bullshit. But I've read a lot of the "Smart Person" authors like Kafka and Vonnegut and Camus and Calvino. I tried reading James Joyce's Ulysses like three times and it sounds like something I'd love, but for some reason I can never get past the first 60 pages. I can enjoy shit like Naked Lunch and The Sound and the Fury fine but Joyce consistently exhausts me with his particular brand of Irish Incoherence.

What I mean to say is that I regularly enjoy the type of books - and culture as a whole, really - that on several occasions forced me into conversation with A Certain Type of Person. The kind of person who treats their tastes in art as a moral virtue. Who thinks the failings of society are at least partially due to the fact that not enough people have read and appreciated "The Classics". I actually was pushed towards dropping out of college by an interaction I had with a guy who was in the Master's program I was working towards. He saw I was reading J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey (I like it! I wish Salinger wrote more women) and took it as an opportunity to start raving about his opinions on Catcher in the Rye, a completely separate book I did not bring up at all.

People who do this make me unreasonably angry.

So the thing I saw was using "literary junk food" to talk about people who only read Young Adult fiction. I have so many issues with this that I don't know where to start. Because it plays into a bigger issue, I think. I see people on Youtube talk about the BookTok influencers who say they only read the dialogue in their books, or who complain about how a book has "so much text". They scoff at these people. Laugh at their inability to properly appreciate literature. These people are the problem.

And like. No? No. No, they're not. Some of them might be a reflection of a problem, sure. If a person of a certain age genuinely struggles with a dense book of a certain length, or if they only read books far below their age level, that could be an issue. But it's 100% not an issue with the reader. Much like how in the rising rates of younger people who struggle with fundamental reading skills, we shouldn't blame or make fun of the fucking kids, you weirdos. What? What are you doing? That's so weird. Stop it.

Most people aren't born with an innate love of reading. There are so many factors that can make developing that kind of passion incredibly difficult. Maybe they didn't grow up in a house with books and they weren't read to as kids. Maybe they're dyslexic or something and the fonts of most paperbacks are legitimately difficult to read. Maybe they were never exposed to the kinds of genres and authors they'd really enjoy. Maybe they saw some stupid fucking argument on the internet (Audiobooks aren't real reading! YA and comics aren't real reading! Mmm paperbacks are soo much better than e-readers I just want to shove them in my mouth yummy yummy I am so cool and smart) and decided they'd rather stay away from all of that entirely.

"Oh," the strawman I invent for this hypothetical exclaims, "but the internet exists! You can just look up more appropriate books to read! There's no excuse!"

Hey, Scarecrow I Reanimated Through the Dark Magic of my Rage? Do me a favor and try what you just suggested. I Googled "books for people moving past YA" and found a few lists on the subject, and the books were mainly:

modern novels I haven't read and might be fine

way-old classics that seem thrown in so people would think there was "variety"

some wack shit i'm very confused why people would suggest to those branching out from YA (Dune? The Martian? That's crazy, right? That's crazy to me.)

I was overwhelmed. I imagine if someone was only exposed to YA and saw a bunch of lists like these they'd could easily be discouraged. That is, if they weren't already discouraged by the dipshits online implying they're wronging themselves by enjoying the books they enjoy.

The thing that pisses me off is that Those People who say that aren't entirely incorrect. If someone only consumes one type of art, they are denying themselves a bunch of styles and stories and perspectives that might profoundly change the way they look at the world and at themselves. This applies to the person who only reads dystopian trilogies and romantasy epics, and it also applies to the person who only reads fucking Tolstoy or whatever. It applies to me, as a majority of the fiction I read up until like five years ago was written by men during like the 40s-90's (I don't know why but that ended up being my Era of Choice).

Variety in art is cool and good. If someone feels like they don't have the option to explore different stories, that belief is the issue. The person is not the one at fault, even if their reasoning for not branching out is incorrect. Yes, there are more adult-orientated writers who aren't old white straight men. There are adult-orientated writers that might be more engaging then the ones from the 19th and early 20th century. Not every adult-orientated book is Ripe With Ideas and Philosophical Concepts. There are fiction books written for adults in mind that make their prose as accessible as their dialogue. There are nonfiction books, even, that are written by intelligent authorities with a genuine love for their subject that makes their writing super enjoyable to read and not at all like a textbook.

But also it's not a bad thing if your main genre is young adult fiction. My main genre is probably post-modernism. The only difference between us is that post-modernism sounds esoteric enough that a lot of people won't question it, where as a ton of people feel super comfortable assuming a YA book is lesser. These are usually the same people who assume young adults are inherently unable to grasp complex ideas.

I don't read a ton of YA. At the same time, I will never go as far as to claim the entire genre has nothing to offer adults, because that's an absolutely insane take. That's nonsense. I've read fucking picture books as an adult that touched my heart (Has anyone read The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds? Oh god I teared up.). Cynthia Voigt's book Homecoming was an early step in me realizing my mom was abusive. I'm pretty sure Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events played a huge part in my want to become a writer.

"But you moved on," the Scarecrow breathes, voice weakening as the dark magic seeps out from the thin veil of hay and burlap, "adults are supposed to move on and read Grown-Up books."

Yeah man, maybe. There's a lot of shit that adults should be able to do, and people are so satisfied with those milestones of Adult Development that they sometimes forget that age is not the only factor in those things happening. If other reading options aren't presented in a way that seems welcoming and engaging, what are they supposed to do? Just walk to a library and grab the most boring looking book because that might be their only frame of reference for a "grown-up" book? Slog through it like they're in high school again? All to feel worthy in the eyes of someone who publicly condescends what might be the only type of literature they've enjoyed and connected to so far?

Why? Why would they want do that?

Anyways I'm getting hungry and the scarecrow I enchanted has lost its sentience, so I'll cut it short. There are a lot of intellectual pursuits - brilliant artists in a variety of mediums - that I am consistently bummed out that people feel like they can't get into. But I also understand, because a lot of people who like Adult Books or Abstract Art or Improvisational Jazz or Experimental Theater tend to not like the art itself as much as they really enjoy being perceived as a person who likes those kinds of things. And ultimately that's - fine.

That's a fine way to live, Scarecrow Corpse. You're allowed to base a majority of your identity out of truly understanding Infinite Jest or Koyaanisqatsi or Derek Jarman's Blue. But like don't expect that to change or improve the lack of culture you claim to hate so much.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for retroactively cheating on my partner?

Look, I know the title sounds kinda dumb, but it was kind of the best way I could sum it up. This also might get a little long. I'm just trying to give the context it needs that I feel sorta led me to the decisions I made.

I (22M) went on my first vacation with my partner (25F) last summer. Our vacation was to a relatively local spot not too far out of the city that's decently popular. We'd been dating at that point for around 18 months, though a lot of our dating had been done online cuz of the whole global pandemic thing. When the restrictions started loosening she started getting pushy about me moving in. This caused some tension between us, but it always kind of fizzled out. I still lived with my dad at that point. I'd never moved in with her, since I always wanna be really absolutely sure about these things beforehand, and I'll admit to viewing our week long vacation as sort of a trial run for maybe, one day, taking that step. All of this is just context for the fact that I was really serious about her. It was also the first real adult relationship that I'd been in.

If it was meant to be a trial for moving in, the vacation probably brought to the surface all the issues that I'd had with her. It was seriously a disaster. Our first day was great, but she spent a lot of the next two days taking calls from work and having some "alone time". I was really pissed off on the third day, waking up to ask if she wanted to go swimming, and having her tell me she was up for hours, and if I wanted to go I should've talked to her earlier. I suggested things we could do together, and we did eat lunch together and go to the pool, but she wasn't at all interested in doing anything else with me. After lunch, she sort of disappeared, so I went to the bar myself and considered texting her to join me. I got distracted talking to a guy, and soon enough we were super invested in the conversation together.

For context, I'm probably somewhere on the bi/pan end of things, but I grew up and continued living in a close minded small town. Especially last year, I was very much not out, not comfortable with people seeing me as in any way lgbtq adjacent, and still holding onto a lot more internalised stuff than I was willing to admit to.

This guy (who I'll call R) and I hit it off. We had lots in common, and he was fun to hang around with, and a good listener. I won't lie, I did find him pretty physically attractive, but naturally, it wasn't a huge issue. I've never had a problem being faithful, it's something I value over anything else in a relationship. When I spoke to my girlfriend about him later, she make some teasing remarks towards me about him being my "boyfriend". I was extremely sensitive about this, and snapped at her, to which she called me oversensitive and complained I never understand her jokes. I, being more mean than I should've been, told her she should try being funny, and she just called me misogynistic, which I resented, so I walked out, and came back later when I was sure she was asleep.

The next day, she shut me off completely, which I understood. I apologised, but I appreciated that she needed some space. I ended up meeting R at the pool again. We went for a hike, which took longer than expected, and made it home at dinner, which we got together. He insisted on paying in full, and we had a fun time, walking back to the hotel together. He told me he was leaving that evening, and I offered to help him pack. We got into his room, I helped him pack, we talked, traded socials, and, eventually, just out of the blue, I kissed him. I don't really know why, but it was nothing more than a chaste kiss, and I panicked and left.

The rest of the trip with my girlfriend was mostly us keeping to ourselves, and while we made up, there was definitely an atmosphere. The atmosphere just stayed. We broke up in October, for reasons unrelated directly to the vacation.

However, my issue is that from the vacation to when my gf and I broke up, R and I were dming each other. Objectively,it wasn't anything romantic or sexual, no nudes, nothing like that. We would just talk like we always did. We decided to try out dating in February of this year, and so far, its been great - he's genuinely a brilliant partner, we have far less conflicts, we sort things out quicker, and we generally seem to mesh much better than I did with my ex. But being with him has sort of taught me that what I valued him for when we were just talking is also what I mostly value him for now that we're dating - his good listening, his great sense of humour, the fact he just seems to get me. I could be overthinking things, but I can't shake this weird feeling that while I was with my ex I was somehow having all the trappings of another relationship whilst not indulging in the traditional markers of one. It just doesn't feel right to me. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[bedlamsbard]

how the FUCK am I supposed to change the lightbulbs on the twenty-foot ceilings in this apartment????

ALL of the overhead lights in this apartment are like this. (there are a handful of hanging lights that I can change myself.) I understand that there's some kind of grippy lightbulb changer suction cup or basket on a pole you can get at Lowe's or Amazon but a lot of these lights aren't normally recessed, they're beneath covers. And a lot of them are already burned out. (I can also tell that several have normal bulbs behind the cover, which means they were replaced before with the wrong kind of lightbulbs -- the one in the laundry room has two regular bulbs, one burned out, and there's literally no way I can get at it. I'm not climbing on a sixteen-foot ladder, I will die.)

*dubiously* I guess this is what handymen are for. (I mean, in a college town I'm sure I can always hire an enterprising college student to do various things, but perhaps not for the lights. I'm sure one of them would buy my excess mattress, though.)

I'd honestly be willing to try the lightbulb changer on a pole, but I'm not sure I can physically manage it with all of these lights, and the ones behind covers (which includes both bathrooms and the laundry room) I definitely can't. Also I guess I'll send another plaintive text to my property manager. (I am still trying to figure out where trash goes.)

this is a recently renovated apartment, but it is immediately evident to me that the reno was designed by (a) a man who was (b) COMICALLY taller than me (not hard, I'm 5'2.5"), (c) probably left-handed, and (d) didn't actually cook much despite the nice kitchen. (I do have SUBSTANTIALLY more counter space than in the Decatur house, but it would actually be difficult not to have more counter space than in that house -- I dealt with it by having a kitchen cart.)

on the other hand, there are FIVE MILLION outlets in this apartment. so it has that going for it. literally, from where I am sitting in the not-quite-open plan kitchen/dining/living room I can see thirteen outlets and I know there are two more in the office nook (built-in desk!). on the third hand it is a second-story walk-up and if I'd known the stair situation I'm not sure I would have rented it. (I had a video tour but didn't realize the stair situation until I got here.) probably the restaurant below also has twenty-foot ceilings.

this is the kind of apartment that would be a few grand in a city (I looked up the rent for an equivalent apartment in Decatur and it was $3-5K a month), but this is small town South Dakota, so while it's more expensive than my duplex in Decatur, it's not actually that much more expensive, especially considering that it's larger, new appliances, washer/dryer, 2 full bathrooms, and parking. also I wanted an apartment that made me feel like a Real Adult Professor and not a graduate student, especially if I had to live in rural South Dakota. (As I have bitched about endlessly, I didn't want to leave Atlanta and I didn't want to leave the Deep South; I'm one of the people who actually wants to live in the South (apparently rare? at least of people I know at my previous institution who were all like 'I don't know how I ended up here') and I do expect to go back on the market in an attempt to move back, TT job or not, unless I absolutely fall in love with this school/town. though if I absolutely hate living here, I can move to one of the nearby cities and commute (there's one half an hour away over the state line, and one an hour away in the same state). but like, I wanted to stay in the South and the universe said the best it could do was South Dakota.

but also jesus. this light situation makes me nervous. I do own floor lamps (because the Decatur house actually had terrible lighting), but come on, man. also I haven't yet found where I packed the cover for one of the floor lamps. I also can't find the bulbs for my regular non-floor lamps. found the bulbs for one of my floor lamps because they take E12 chandelier bulbs and they were packed in one of my 'random things' boxes. I will be unpacking for...a while.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

HEY BBG !! so happy u took that break and that ur requests are open nowww

so ive been wanting to tell u abt this dream i had with peter quill (of course i mean..who else) and turn it into a request!

its like after the holiday special and before gotg vol 3 where maybe reader was just cruising around knowhere before these cute lil kiddos come up to reader like "mx. ___, come play with us! we need one more player for our game" and it took them some time to actually convince reader and theyre finally like "alright alright" so they play a game with em

and just so the cliché and cheezy can come in, peter is also just walkin around yk, seeing what ppl doing, and boom 🤯🤯 the skrunkly sees reader playing with the kids

very cute n sweet best dream ive probably ever had, hopefully you can write this soon! I also dearly apologise for coming to you with peter requests only. I only feel comfy requesting things to you 💔

have a great week/end !!

-🪐

HI BBG!! I really hope I did this right, I felt pressure to write it as best as I could for to live up to your dream. also never apologise, I love that I can always rely on you to send in quill requests. and you’re so sweet, again I love that send ideas to me😩 thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

…

play ball

peter quill x gn reader

word count: 409

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

"Can you play with us?" a small, child-like voice asks, interrupting you from your thoughts. 

"Me?" you question, pointing to yourself as you glance around the quiet, empty park.

"Yeah," another kid adds, rolling the ball towards his friend.

"I'm not very good," you say, slowly turning your attention away.

"Please?"

"No one ever wants to play with us," a little girl joins in, frowning at you. 

"Just for a few minutes," one of the children pleads, giving you puppy eyes. 

You had a swarm of kids badgering you to join in with their ball game, and it was only a matter of time before they could wear you down. 

"Alright, alright," you exhale, standing from the bench where you were comfortably seated. "What're we playing anyway?" you ask, looking around at their mischievous faces.

"We can't tell you."

"And why's that?"

"The last time we had an adult, we..." a kid trails off, pausing.

"You what?" you ask, eyes squinting.

"We accidentally hurt him," he said bashfully.

"Hurt him?" 

"Yeah, we threw the ball at him too hard."

"Yeah," another joins in.

"It was an accident, though— we didn't mean it."

"We said 'sorry,'"

You chuckle, shaking your head. "Filling me with great confidence, kids,"

"We won't hurt you,"

—

After a while of playing and following their impossible, make-it-up-as-you-go-along rules, you were tired and in desperate need of a break. So you excuse yourself back to your bench, except now, there's someone in your space. 

"Do you mind if I sit?" you ask, nodding to the empty seat beside the man. 

"Sure, go ahead," he nods, crossing his ankle over his knee. "Those kids tire you out?" he asks, making friendly conversation. 

"Big time," you laugh, holding your side. "And they're not even mine." 

"No, no, I know. I just know from experience," he chuckles, turning to face you. "Last time I played, I got kicked in the nuts."

"You did?" you fail to hide your laugh. "They can pretty rough."

"Tell me about it," he rolls up his sleeve, extending his arm. "Also got bitten."

You look over his forearm to see the outline of a bitemark, a small circle of faint pink that was sure to form into a scar.

"You got bitten? I didn't think I'd consider myself lucky," you chuckle, looking ahead at the kids who are now tackling one another. "Wild little things."

"That they are," he says, smiling at you. "I'm Peter."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

quill taglist: @annielr @spacetalbot @bubblezuku @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @queerponcho @selfryed @traiitorjoe

[the-savage-garden]

Why am I anti SJM?

I've previously mentioned this in posts before but decided to make this to clarify my thoughts. Look, I didn't go out of my way to become anti SJM when I started reading her books, I actually had been looking forward to reading them!

About... 3 years ago I think, I convinced my mom to get me Throne Of Glass. After reading through a few chapters I realized I made a huge mistake in getting that book. And sure, it was my fault in not looking into it before then. I'm not familiar with YA books so I had no idea what to expect, as a teen I skipped over to adult books like from Stephen King. I always wanted to read romance books though so I thought it would be good to try new things. Well, lesson learned.

I felt guilt for wasting both me and my mom's time, can't even bring myself to tell her that I hate the book that I convinced her to buy for me. So I hoped if I found a way to read ACOTAR (which was what I originally wanted to get but couldn't find it) that I'd feel better and, well, I actually enjoyed that one. It was like glorified Disney's Beauty and the Beast fanfiction (seriously, tell me that Feyre isn't just Belle, Tamlin is the Beast, and Rhys is Gaston) but I found it fun, I thought that I just had the wrong impression of SJM with Throne Of Glass.

I decided to glance through ACOMAF as I was considering buying the series later and wanted to make sure that ACOTAR wasn't just a fluke. Then I read it... it's hard to describe how disappointed it made me feel. I wasted my time... again.

That's when I decided instead of feeling sorry for myself I'd use SJM's books as a learning experience and how to avoid the same writing pitfalls as her.

Reading through other anti SJM posts also helps me feel better, feels like I'm not crazy for hating these books.

I know besides the writing there's other problems with SJM but I try to not bring up anything with her personal life. The only time I would bring it up is if it's tied to her writing in some way (like for example how she writes siblings, found out she has a brother which makes me wonder why she writes sibling dynamics in such an odd way in her books because I assumed she was an only child before).

I'm a bit... mixed on her prose, sometimes it's fine but others it's bleh. Y'know how people think of characters as "I can fix him/her"? That's what SJM's books are like for me, I want to fix them so much. I see where things could've worked if it was rewritten, I'm not going to do it myself though, I'm just going to nitpick them instead.

Anyway, if anyone was confused on why I'm still going over SJM books even though I hate them I hope this explains why I'm still reading them. I do plan to go over other authors (maybe YA authors as they seem to be pretty bad from what I can tell) I'm just being a bit slower going over SJM.