#Not minding the fact I already was dropping it as much as I yap in tags.

[cozymochi]

Friend you gotta relax people are just having fun 😭

Right, of course. Sorry.

I can’t voice being mildly agitated if something is repeated over and over.

Smile and wave. Post art. The buzzkill is me. Post art.

By all means.

Keep going.

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- to winning at MAMA awards

masterlist

a/n: in celebration of our boys winning both AOTY awards at MAMA last night. i am so incredibly proud i feel like i raised them or something. like guys- it is that serious they are my family and im going insane.

SCOUPS: you're the first one he's calling once he's offstage - he's dialling your number and a whole string of nonsense rattles off him the moment you pick up. he can't string together proper words as you congratulate him. tells you how fucking happy the boys are - you should've seen them, love - did you see woozi crying? and DK - he smiled so big - needs you to bring him back to earth and remind him that this is his award too. he deserves it just as much as they do.

JEONGHAN: he's literally been bored out of his mind as you guys sit at home, watching the award show live. the only times he's acc been paying full attention was whenever groups he knew personally were on screen - and even then - you know you're losing him to how tired he is. lets out the tiniest, babiest gasp when seventeen is announced as the winner. is crying but turns away so you can't call him out on it.

JOSHUA: he runs home to you right after their dinner together and collapses into your arms. he's spent from the sheer chaos and adrenaline. mumbles sweet nothings about how this award is also yours. we won, baby. we share everything - this award is because of you - all because of you.

JUN: he's hiding out in his filming trailer so he can watch the award show through your phone on facetime - it's grainy and glitchy as HELL but he does not care. there's a 3 second lag when seventeen's announced as the winner - so he can hear you screaming but he doesn't know why. his mouth drops once the wifi catches up and he's practically glowing the entire day on set.

HOSHI: comes home wasted and a bundle of pure energy. he's on a high from the win- rushes home to yell into your ear how ecstatic he is as he tackles you for a hug. tells you he's literally so down to name your firstborn child AOTY just cause.

WONWOO: he comes home rather calm despite the chaotic evening he just had. runs you through his whole day- from getting his makeup done to winning the award to having celebratory dinner. you sit and listen happily, cause this is the most yapping you've ever seen this man do and you're SO happy. finishes his yap session by telling you that you make it all worth it - you're the real award, not MAMA.

WOOZI: tells you not to watch their acceptance speech even though he knows you already did :( is uber embarrassed at how emotional his speech was. I was gonna go up and accept it like a nonchalant cool mysterious man but NO! I just had to cry. he doesn't talk about the win much to you, preferring to just enjoy a quiet night in after the crazy evening. whispers to you once you fall asleep that this is why he does music and thanks you and the boys for being his biggest fans.

THE8: sends you the badass photo of him with all their trophies, followed with a long paragraph about how grateful he is to have you next to him through it all. he's unbelievably bright and happy for the next couple weeks, resulting in you kind of missing sassy Hao and asking for him back. side eyes you when you ask and quips "you didn't win a daesang- I did." Well...he's back ig.

MINGYU: comes home and the first thing he says to you is: aren't you proud i didn't cry? pouts when you rewind the clip to point out: he did in fact cry, he was just hiding his ginormous body behind his members. vows to you he won't cry the next time they win- and yes, he promises there will be a next time. and many after that.

DK: a bundle of joy upon his arrival home. keeps telling you he doesn't know what he did to deserve all this- completely floored when you start ranting about why he deserves it all. blushes and hides his face cause the compliments have him shy.

SEUNGKWAN: comes home fully ready to unleash his bragging rights. asks you to only address him by AOTY daesang winner for the next hour, until the joke gets old and he just wants to relax with you. gets a little sappy retelling stories about their trainee days as you both walk down memory lane together.

VERNON: hands you a wad of cash the moment he enters your shared apartment. oh well. i lost the bet. he literally bet against his team winning and ofc you took him on it cause obv seventeen is gonna win?? tells you he was confident svt was going to win he just wanted an excuse to give you cash.

DINO: promises to shout you out the next time svt wins a daesang. obv you don't believe him, so he defends himself, promising that he will 100% name drop his girlfriend on global television for shits and giggles. yeah, i'll just grab the mic and say "i dedicate this award to my WIFE" and watch the internet explode. why not?

[just1cefor4ll]

HI loved the tyler/aiden headcannons btw!

Wanted to ask if you could write something about the reader being apart of the group (after they finally escaped the realm and are free..and traumatized, but happy)

AND LIKE A LITTLE ROMANCE HAPPENING BETWEEN AIDEN AND THE READER!! Like after everything had calmed down, (3 weeks after they escaped) the group goes to a skating rink to have fun. Like normal teens 😞

Would love a oneshot of it!! :D

Aiden Clark x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, bad grammar

genre: fluff! :3

A/N: AHH I love this!! I skate myself so this is just 🛐

hope you like it <33

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You and the group have been planning a trip for quite a while. You were trying to celebrate the fact you finally escaped the damn realm and that lab they kept you guys in. Everyone was a bit shaken up, most of you couldn’t really sleep and you had sleepovers most of the time to try and sleep better. It usually worked, well at least for most of the group. You would wake up in the middle of the night, cold wind hitting your soaked figure. You often had nightmares and you couldn’t really go to therapy because you would be considered ‘crazy’, so you just had to pull through without any help. You know the group would be happy to help, but you don’t want to bother them when they had it worse. Back to the present time! You were currently in the graveyard, sitting in a circle near the campfire, you yourself sitting on your kind of beat up skateboard. Everyone suggested their ideas, Logan suggesting a museum, Ashlyn a restaurant, The twins suggested a waterpark and then Aiden and Ben said they didn’t really care where they would go.

An idea popped in your head and you smiled; “How about a skating rink? That could be fun? I know a pretty good one and theres also like a trampoline part connected to it so that’s pretty cool.” Everyone talks about the idea, Aiden agreeing instantly along with the twins. “Well is there a buffet there? Maybe we could later eat there and just celebrate?” Ashlyn suggests and everyone agrees looking at you for your response. You nod and everyone cheers, excited for the trip.

The day of the trip arrives, you all agreed to meet up at the train station at 8am and you were there early, already waiting there at 7. You watched the sunrise and you smile taking a picture and put your phone away and try out some tricks. You first tried an ollie, the key trick you need to know to learn most of the other ones. You record some of the tries and relax for a bit, watching the clips when suddenly your eyes get covered by a pair of soft hands. “Aiden..” You say and smile at the blonde boy, who had his usual relaxed demeanor. “Hey, you’re here early aren’t you?” He says and sits down next to you, resting his feet on his skateboard, rocking his legs from side to side. “Yeah I wanted to be here just in case anyone needed help with anything.” You say and yawn slightly, not really shaking off the sleepiness just yet. He nods and starts to yap like he usually does and you just listen, letting him yap your ear off. You didn’t mind, you weren’t much of a talker, so you usually just listened.

The others finally arrived just in time for when the train arrived. Everyone boarded and you found your seats, all of you sitting together. Ashlyn decided to catch up on sleep, along with Ben. The twins and Logan were playing some card game and You just listened to music, sharing headphones with Aiden. You lay your head on the window and drift off, feeling a hand on yours.

You get shaken awake, and you groan but gather your things and skateboard and get off the train, leading the way. You jump onto your skateboard and you guys skate/walk for about 15 minutes when you finally get there. “Here we are!” You say and pay for your entry, putting away your things and grab your phone along with your skateboard and run to the rink, doing a quick board slide. The others cheer you along as you drop in and do a rock to fakie.

Aiden watches you with a smile and Tyler and Taylor do their own thing as Ty teaches his sister the basics. Logan and Ben were off somewhere probably in the trampoline park and Ashlyn watched everyone, taking videos. “I’ll need to ask her to send me that later.” You think to yourself and manual.

You mind your own buiseness, riding up to a ramp when a kid suddenly jumps in your away, making you manual a bit too quickly so you fell on your elbow. “Fucking hell.. watch it kid!” You yell and hiss in pain as you look at the now bleeding elbow. Aiden noticed the fall and ran over to you and inspected the wound; “Hey are you okay? That was a nasty fall.” He says and you laugh; “Come on i’ve had it so much worse before, and plus people break bones doing this shit so i’m fine.” You say and stand up and walk over to the sitting area and take out some bandages you brought along in this type of situation. Aiden snatches them from you and looks at you with a kind smile; “Let me do it.” He doesn’t even give you time to reply and is already carefully wrapping the wound. Your face feels hot and you look anywhere but at Aiden, looking for the others yet they were nowhere to be found.

“There, that should be better, and by the way, when did you start skating? Your pretty good, almost better then me!” He teases and wraps and arm around your shoulder. You chuckle and smirk, teasing right back; “Oh yeah? How about a game of skate?” You challenge him and wait for his response, already knowing the answer. “Hell yeah! I’ll win for sure!” He runs to get his skate and you do the same, and that was the start of a very long game of skate. You guys got bored after a while, agreeing on a tie and sit down, breathing heavily as if you ran a marathon. The others came back and everyone agreed on going to the restaurant that was across the street from the skating rink. You walk with your skates and decide to hide them somewhere at the back of the building and head inside the restaurant, ordering food and refreshing drinks immediately.

You sit down in the booth and Aiden slides in next to you along with Ben and Logan, the others sitting on the opposite side. Everyone chatted and joked around and your elbow was killing you along with your legs as well. Your eyes droop a bit but you take a sip of your drink that shakes you awake slightly. Aiden taps you on the knee and you look up at him, raising a brow. He leans in and whispers into your ear with a low tone; “You okay? You look kinda off.” He says and you smile reassuringly and give him a thumbs up under the table. He hums and smiles as the waiter brings the food everyone has been craving for the past 5 hours. You eat your food in silence, some chatting here and there but mostly you guys Te in peace. After everyone was full you decided to go to the bathroom to clear your mind, of course not letting them know the reason. You walk into the bathroom and sigh, they were empty, unlike many other restaurants and you shrug, walking over to the mirror and fix your hair up a bit when you notice Aiden in the mirror. “Hey, I know I asked already but you really don’t seem fine. Is it the elbow?” He jokes and you shrug, giving him a slight smile; “I’m fine don’t worry okay? My body is killing me though.” You say and stretch your body, some satisfying cracks echoing throughout the bathroom. You go to leave when you get embraced in a warm hug, a hand running up and down your back. “Relax for a bit, they won’t notice we’re gone.” He whispers and you guys stay like that for a few minutes when you finally let go. He looks at you lovingly and your face feels hot as you avert your gaze away from him.

He lifts your face to look at him and leans in, your lips brushing against each other and your eyes meet, Aiden looking at you as if asking for consent. You inch closer and he takes that as a yes, soft lips meeting yours. Your lips move in sync with each other and his hands wander down to your waist. You pull away and you hide your flushed face in the crook of his neck. He chuckles lowly and hugs you close. “You know i’ve liked you ever since that day we went out to get the jeep.” He says and you look at him with a confused look; “But I thought you liked Ash—” You get cut off by a finger on your lips and he smile; “Remember I had my eyes on you the whole time, I may have been comforting Ash but I had my eyes on you. I didn’t know how to approach you, ya know?” He says and leaves kisses all over your face. “Now I’ve got you all to myself~” He says and holds your hand, dragging you out to the others who stared at you and whistled, Ben looking at Aiden with a proud smile.

Later that day when everyone finally got home, Aiden messaged you and soon after you heard a knock on your bedroom window. You playfully roll your eyes and mumble “Idiot.” quickly opening the window. Aiden hops in and tackles you in a hug, you falling back on the bed. “Hey! What are you doing?” You chuckle and play with his hair. You hear a mumbled “I missed you.” And you giggle, making him look up at you. “We haven’t seen each other for like 45 minutes?” “Too long.” He shrugs and peppers your face with kisses, moving down to your neck and collar bone. Your eyes droop and you start to fall asleep, finally in his embrace.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[lukesandromeda]

gimme ur fav luke headcanons 😏

DATING l. castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

a/n: hi soleil it spooks me what u will do with this information but i also got so carried away with this for some reason and i did in fact not proofread it

• he’s a thief. so obviously as soon as you point out something in the store, uttering a quick “that’s pretty,” he’s nodding and pushing you along to go to another section of the store, mumbling something like, “sure is.” so as soon as you’re not looking he’s breaking the tag off the item and sliding it into his back pocket because he knows that if you were to see him, you’d scold him for his habit.

and when he hands it over to you later without an explanation, you’re asking, “how did you buy this?” and when he looks away nervously, you’re quick to lecture him about why what he did was wrong—but he doesn’t care; he gets to see the smile and appreciation from you.

• hearing constant “i’m so sorry” when he comes late to hang out with you. he’s the head counselor and has so many responsibilities to the point that even begging mr. d to let him go and hang out with his girlfriend will never work.

so when he finally does have the time to hang out, he’s exhausted—beads of sweat from sparring evident on his forehead as he takes the backpack he had slung over his shoulder and tosses it to the ground.

and he’s trying to give you as much attention as he can as he shares stories from his day with you, but his adhd’s getting to him and his eyes are so, so heavy and—you finally ask him if he just wants to go to sleep, and he’s jumping out of bed and changing into comfortable sleeping clothes.

soon he’s back in bed with you, comfortable and grateful enough that the few time he gets with you is not as stressful as what he had to deal with before.

• omfg sparring is the worsttttt with him. he makes you schedule two whole hours, yapping about something like, “i’ll just tell any other kids who wanna practice to wait until tomorrow,” and you’re telling him how it’s not fair for you to take that practice away from someone else, and he’s rolling his eyes and leaving your cabin after pressing a sloppy kiss to your forehead and mumbling, “see you tomorrow.” when you do see him tomorrow, he’s already working on his footwork and smirks as you arrive. the next couple hours are brutal. there are no breaks. at that point, why did you even bring a water bottle?

because every time he has you pinned down and you’re grunting, your throat dry as you look over to your water, he tilts your head back to him with his sword and gives you a look that tells you to focus.

and every time he gets his touch on you, he’s ordering, “again.” he wins. “again.” he wins again. “again.” so many times that you repeat the same moves, and every time, his sword is lightly pressed against your chest and you’re muttering in surrender.

after the fifteenth time of hearing the word again, you drop your sword to the ground and shove him, knocking his sword out of his hands. you break down into tears of frustration, and he’s quick to explain to you that he’s not trying to make you angry—just teach you how to protect yourself.

• usually he’s the one to hold you in his arms and let you speak your mind; he’s usually your rock. but some nights, when maybe a new camper has gotten claimed, or maybe someone got a birthday gift from their godly parent, he’s laying in the crook of your neck as he suppresses his tears against the soft skin there.

he’s talking for hours, babbling about gods know what. you find yourself wondering: how did he go from talking about nick, his newest cabin mate, getting claimed as a child of apollo, to talking about what he would name a dragon? you didn’t mind, because at least now he’s not crying about his father and the stupid quest he’d sent him on.

eventually, after a long day of a fake smile and the stressful teaching of a six hour sparring class, he falls asleep, his last words of “i love you” resting on his lips.

• he’d been happy the entire night—the blue team, his team, had won capture the flag again. he’d had so much fun at the celebration afterwards, (or at least it seemed,) but now it’s time to get ready for bed. it’s 1:30 am, and you’re washing off your makeup in the bathroom mirror when luke comes in, reaching for another rag.

he stands next to you in the mirror, watching your reflection for a moment before his eyes flick over to himself. his jaw clenches, his eyes trailing up and down the left side of his face before he swallows and wets the rag.

he begins to wipe the dirt and grime off his face, slowing down when the cloth traces the scar on his cheek. he drops the rag in the sink and sniffles, walking out of the bathroom and into the bed. once you’re finished, you join him in your room and climb into the bed. you lay down, and he rolls over and rests his face in the crook of his neck.

you wonder why it feels weird for a moment, and then you realize he has his head tilted oddly so that the left side of his face is hiding in the crook of his neck. odd, you think, considering he’d been complaining about neck pain the day before. you lift his head up, hand tracing on his left cheek and he freezes, body tensing.

“luke?” you ask, your eyes searching for a reason to his odd behavior. you look at where your fingers are tracing; on the scar. you understand, and for a moment, you see his eyes fill up with tears.

you swallow and lean forward, pressing a kiss to his scar before resting your forehead against his. he closes his eyes with a pained expression. moments pass, and then he moves to rest his head in the crook of your neck again, but this time he doesn’t hide his scar.

[milequaritchsslut]

Yandere!Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader Part 1

Pairing: Yandere!Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

Notes: Reader and Abby are in college, living in the dorms.

Genre: Dark

Warnings: manipulation, yandere, degrading, obsession, hitting, swearing, kissing, crying, angst,

Anything you did was perfect to her. To her you were a perfect little angel after all, her pretty little princess. She couldn’t stand not being with you, she made sure to memorize your class schedule. She knew what time you went where, why you went and who you went with. She had it all down to a T, every step you took she already predicted. But she couldn’t let you know that, in fact she was pretty good at hiding it. She didn’t ask you many questions, didn’t talk much about you outside of seeing you. She never really mentioned you in her conversations, even when people asked about you. She just shrugged and gave a plain answer.

Even though the girls who lived around her made it obvious they wanted her, she didn’t care much. They weren’t worthy of her attention, they were all scum compared to you. She was devoted to you, dreamt about you, thought about you when she ate and drank. No matter where she was, you were on her mind without a doubt. Though it was hard to control herself, she needed some stress relief once in awhile. So she’d hit up one of those girls once every few months, and when she got what she wanted she dropped them. She didn’t need the dead weight holding her down, every path she took led straight back to you anyways. Every step she took was in your direction, no matter where she went. It was like you two were meant to be or something.

You didn’t really think she liked you, she was a known player matter of fact. So why would she like a plain Jane like you? Maybe she did like you, but only to dip right after. It was hard for you to try and understand her feelings towards you. She was so hard to read, cause she acted the same with every other girl she’s been with. But you enjoyed your weekly study sessions, and you liked your get togethers every week she planned. You didn’t really notice the prolonged touches she gave you, or when her hand would “slip” and accidentally grope you every once in awhile. Cause she always begged for forgiveness after, murmuring sweet apologies into your ears. Her sweet tone always swirling and twirling you every which way every time. But you never really knew what to say after, your tongue dancing behind your lips but never uttering a word to her unfortunately.

You and abby had planned to hit up a local frat party this weekend, you had suggested to go out and do something different this weekend rather than hiding away in your dorm room. You were sitting at your desk and curling your eyelashes, your roommate yapping on the phone with her friend. You had on a pink tank top with black Nike flare leggings hugging your thighs. Abby was supposed to meet you outside of your dorms outside, you glanced at the time on your phone and realized you had to be downstairs in 4 minutes. You quickly finished your makeup, packed everything back up and grabbed what you needed before walking out the door.

Abby was waiting outside, scrolling mindlessly on her phone before she heard your sweet voice calling her name. She threw her phone in her pocket and walked towards you as the wind blew through her long brunette hair.

“Heyy y/n…” she voiced to you, her eyes taking in your body. She smirked slightly as she saw your tight outfit, hugging your hips nicely.

“Hii” you replied back, a smile on your face as I looked up at her intently. As soon as she got close enough, her arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer as you two started to walk.

“You look good baby” she sneered down at you, copping a quick feel at your bottom before letting go.

“Hey!” You giggled out as you slapped her hand away and smiled up at her playfully.

“Ok ok sorryyy” she giggled back as you two made your way to the party.

—

When you two made it to the front door, you reached to knock before she pulled you back harshly and knocked herself. She held you close to her as you two waited for the door to open, your grip tightening around your waist. A tall guy around the same age as you both answered the door without a shirt on, the loud buzzing and booming of the party inside filling your ears as he looked down at you.

“Abby?” He asked, his eyes narrowing trying to put her face together. You saw the cup of alcohol in his hand, as he leaned on the frame of the door while his mouth hung open obviously absolutely wasted.

“Hey man” she chuckled, dabbing him up and walking into the party with you by her side. The guy stepped away and closed the door behind you, and walked away before yelling out somebody’s else’s name.

The second you walked in the music hit your ears, raving and bashing into your canal as the speakers rang through your ears. Your eyes darted around the room, watching everyone converse and touch one another like nobody else was watching. Abby looked around the room and scoffed at everyone. All in tight little skimpy outfits, the girls all whoring around as usual. It was disgusting to her, everyone feeling up whoever they wanted to. The stench of alcohol hit her senses right away, her face grimacing in disgust. But she washed away that expression off her face right away, her normal fun loving smile replacing it. Her facade she made for you dropped for just a second, but she brought it back right away. Her pearly white canines showing off in her smile, as she smiled down at your unsuspecting delusional form.

“You wanna get a drink?” She asked, pulling you forward and towards the drink table.

“O-oh uhm sure” you replied, surprised from the sudden yank from her. Your feet quickly finding their balance again and following behind her tall physique. You watched as her muscles rippled in her shirt, the shirt hugging her body tightly. Her muscles looked like they were gonna rip through it any second, the veins in her arms and hands pulsating throughout her body and pulling you tightly.

—

The room was spinning around you, you had lost Abby about an hour ago. You ran off to the basement awhile ago, your mind was buzzing from how much you’ve drank already. Stumbling and bumping into random things as you climbed up the basement stairs, desperately clinging onto the handles along the staircase. You giggled to yourself at the thought of Abby being worried about where you were, a small hiccup falling from your lips as I smiled and giggled to yourself. You hadn’t planned on drinking this much, but you couldn’t really tell the difference between the bottles. So you just poured random amounts of random drinks into yours, and gulped it down in seconds. Once you finally got up the steps, you let a loud sigh. Relieved you finally made it to the main floor after what seemed an eternity.

You quickly looked up and started to roam around the house for Abby, pushing past random people and squeezing through groups of strangers. You walked upstairs and roamed the hallways, looking in the rooms and in the bathrooms. But you still couldn’t find her, you stopped at the last room and walked in and glanced quickly at the window before seeing a familiar face through it. Your eyes narrowed as you rubbed them and walked closer to the window, your eyes widened abruptly. You watched another girl groping and kissing Abby Anderson, YOUR Abby Anderson. You rubbed your eyes again to try and get rid of the thought, but it wasn’t a thought. It was the reality of it all, Abby was with another girl. Your heart sank as you watched Abby kiss her right back, you watched as her hands groped that girls butt just like she did to you. You didn’t feel special anymore, did she really touch every girl the same way? Did her touch feel the same to every girl she spent the night with, was it really just a relapsed scene she took part in? The heat in your body rises drastically as your throat dried up. You couldn’t pull yourself away from the scene in front of you, it was like you were stuck on a loop. Your eyes watering as you gripped the windowsill tightly, nails digging into the wood. You let out a sharp exhale, tears finally falling from your eyes. Clouding your vision and drowning yourself in your own sorrows.

The sadness seemed to eat and tear away at your heart little by little, ripping the ribs protecting it. Pulling and prodding it’s way in like a disease, ripping your chest open and taking what it wanted. The tears just kept falling, but no sound came out. But you didn’t really understand why this hit so hard, you knew she was a hoe. You knew she did whatever she wanted, because you guys weren’t together. She wasn’t yours, and she never has been.

You were finally able to pull your gaze away from the scene, you let a calm breath. You sat up and looked away as you wiped your tears. You could feel something different simmering inside you, it was hot and heavy. Your fists balling up tightly, you looked back down at her as you watched in disgust as she gripped and rubbed against that girl. You rushed out of the room and downstairs, pushing and weaving people out of your way. You scoffed to yourself as a million thoughts raced through your mind. You rushed outside, your eyes glaring her down.

Abby noticed you eventually and ripped herself away from the girl, she didn’t know what she was doing. It was like that glare from you sobered her up and pierced right through her. She watched as you stormed towards her, a small smirk gliding across her lips. She’d been waited for this, though she didn’t plan for this to happen. Everything was quickly coming together, you’d walk up to her throw a few insults at her face. But she’d quickly calm you down, hold you in place and you’d melt right away.

It wasn’t hard for her to understand your stupid little brain. The way you walked and talked and carried yourself was so easy for her to see what you were, a fucking idiot. She watched as your big girl emotions ate you up inside and spit you right back out. She was amused by the look on your face, the way your features were all scrunched up in fury as you stared her down. Your dumb little brain couldn’t even comprehend what she was on, the wavelength you two were on were eons apart.

“Hey hey…” she cooed from above you, her hands finding yours before you could hit her. She pulled you closer as her large hands intertwining with yours, they were cold but soft. They ran a chill up your spine as you were caught off guard by her calm demeanor, she pulled you in and held you close to her.

You looked up at her as she stared down at you, you couldn’t see what she was doing. Your eyes could only see what was on the outside unfortunately, you couldn’t see the way her eyes gleamed with a predatory glare. You couldn’t understand how her eyes ate you alive, her gaze consuming you slowly.

“N-no you can’t j-“ you yelled at her angrily before you felt her arms wrap around your waist and her face nuzzle into her neck.

You let out a small whimper of surprise as she hugged you tightly, her warm breath hitting your neck as she consumed you. You could feel your heartbeat slow, that hot feeling was gone. Replaced by a lighter and softer feeling growing in your core. It was a good feeling, you let your shoulders relaxed as you felt her lips against her neck.

“You ok?” She asked softly pulling away as she looked down at you, her thumbs rubbing against your waist soothingly. Her voice was so soft and comforting, you felt like you were on a cloud. She’d never been this touchy with you, her touch seemed so kind and innocent.

You looked up at her, your mind thinking a million thoughts at once as you tried to come up with an answer. Your voice caught in your throat as you froze up a little, your mouth left agape.

She smirked down at you and pulled you closer to her so your head was against her chest. Her hand found your head and brushed your hair comfortingly. Her veiny hands skimming through your silky hair, her touch sweet and kind as she held you tightly. Your arms slowly found her waist as tears began forming in your eyes again and your face scrunched up in sorrow. This felt so good, you’ve wanted this for so long. You’ve dreamt about her holding you like this, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“You wanna go home?” She asked sweetly, her hands finding yours and walking out of the yard.

You nodded your head slowly as you looked at the ground and stayed close to her, your grip tight around her hand.

—

Part 2 coming next week!

Taglist: @happysparklingshadows

[gavisfanta]

ADDICTED - FERMIN

summary: you and fermin are going to a club with some friends, but you cant wait to have some private time...

a/n: okay i cant not update so have this, this was scheduled for October but i need to feed my children somehow.

warnings: smut, vaping

"Clubbing? Outside?" You ask as your jaw dropped. Fermin nodded his head. "At 5pm?" You asked again.

"Yes Hermosa, that's what I've just told you." He smiled at how shocked you were.

Besides from the fact that Fermin and Gavi had more vacation than the other Barça players because they were on international duties, they were pretty relaxed.

"How is that gonna work?" you ask again, still unable to believe what Fermin is yapping about.

"At first there is a concert, well not concert but someone is gonna sing, then theres music and we can enjoy ourselves. Gavi and Javi will also be there." Fermin tried to convince you.

He wanted you to come along because he hasn't done anything with you and Gavi together in a while.

For Fermin, being with his two favourite people on this whole earth was the thing that could make him the happiest.

So after a lot of convincing you agreed to go with Fermin.

Just 3 hours later you were standing there, in a black dress which showed some cleavage but not too much.

While you were admiring yourself in the mirror Fermin walked up to you from behind.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and then buried his head in the crook of your neck.

"You look beautiful." He whispered against your skin, you felt his hot breath on your neck and you couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you." He turned you around by your waist and then pulled you in for a deep kiss.

After just a few seconds you pulled away and then walked away. "Where are you going?" He asked, following behind you, he couldn't help but stare at your ass as you walked into the hallway.

You put on shoes and then turned wround to look at him, "Are we going or not?" You asked and he looked at his watch.

"Oh right." he said and also put on his shoes. Before you left the house Fermin walked over to the livingroom and quickly grabbed something.

Tou gave him a questioning look as he held up his vape. "Fuck I forgot that mine is empty." You mumbled and he shrugged his shoulders.

You looked around, Gavi said that he'd pick you two up with his car, but he's nowhere to be seen yet.

"You can use mine, it has enough liquid left." He said and brought it up to his lips. He inhaled the smoke and then blew it into the air.

"You're so hot when you vape." You noticed as you were staring at him with a huge smile.

Fermin turned his head to face you, a smirk making its way onto his face.

"Yeah?" He asked and you then saw Gavi's car pull up. You quickly nodded your head and made your way over to Gavi's car.

"Ayy, Ferminho y Y/n" Gavi smiled as you two sat into the backseat and buckled up.

"Gavito" You smiled and dabbed him up. He then turned to the steering wheel again.

"So you managed to convince her Hermano?" Gavi looked at Pedri in the review mirror. Fermin laughed for a second.

"Took a while but yeah"

"I couldn't manage to convince Maria." Javi added and you could see Gavi smile already.

"So just the usual?" Javi smaked Gavis arms as soon as he said that. "That's so not true you know. She just didn't want to come since we didn't know that Y/n will be coming or not." Javi turned around in his seat to face you. Your lips immediately curled up into a smile. Maria is Javis girlfriend and she's one of the sweetest girls you have ever met.

Her and Javis personalities matched perfectly since Javi was probably the most well behaved out of the whole friendgroup.

He didn't smoke, he didn't drink, the only thing on his mind were Maria, his friends and school.

Of course he stuck around when you guys went out partying, just to be there for Maria and you guys. He was usually the driver and the one who took care of the drunk one.

"Ay don't you dare smoke in my car!" Gavi yelled while he kept his gaze at Fermin through the review mirror. You looked at your boyfriend who lifted up his hands in defense.

"My vape is in my pocket, chill." Gavi looked at the road again and Javi laughed a little.

"You two mean pure trouble." Javi laughed and Gavi couldn't help but smile a bit at his comment.

After you have arrived, Gavi parked down the car and you received some special passes for VIP.

You then went to a bigger tent where all the food and drinks were sold and Fermin bought you a gin tonic.

"Thank you" You smiled as you pecked his lips after tasting the bitter alcohol run down your throat.

"No worries, just tell me whenever you need the vape." Fermin grabbed into his pocket and then brought the grape flavoured vape up to his mouth. Seconds later he inhaled the smoke and then let it out, a faintly visible strain of smoke left his mouth and you shook your head.

"Don't inhale too much, you know that'll ruin your lungs." You mumbled and he nodded his head while putting the vape against his mouth again.

"Ay you two lovebirds." Gavi and Javi waked back to you, each with a drink in their hand.

"How's it going?" Gavi asked and took a sip of his drink, you couldn't exactly make up what it was but you were leaning towards Coke.

"It's going good" Fermin smiled a little at Gavi and you grabbed his hand in which he held the vape. You grabbed it and then brought it up to your lips.

"You two are insane, why do you smoke that shit?" Gavi pointed at you, Fermin shrugged his shoulders and then turned to look at you.

"As long as we're not addicted." He mumbled and Gavi just raised his eyebrows while giving Fermin a side eye. you laughed a little bit just as you exhaled the smoke.

The next few hours went by and the vibe was even better. People were dancing along to the loud music blasting through the speakers.

Hkwever around 2 am everything started to calm down again and Fermin and you decided on going home.

You both were pretty sober already because you didn't drink too much.

"Gavi, we're going home" Fermin let the young Sevillano know and Gavi nodded his head while giving you two a thumbs up.

You quickly called a Taxi which arrived in about 5 minutes. Then after the two of you areived home, Fermin paid the driver and then you guys went inside his house.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Fermin asked you while you two went up the stairs. His hand was holding yours while you carried the vape in your other hand.

"Mhm," You mumbled as you put the plastic between your lips and pulled the smoke into your mouth.

After the both of you got changed and got into bed you had just made yourself comfortable. "Pass me the smoke." You mumbled, pointing at the bedside table where Fermins vape was.

So Fermin did, he passed you the vape and you pulled the smoke into your mouth a couole of times before you got an idea. Whike your boyfriend was still focusing on the movie your hands slowly made their ways to his lower abdomen. You then sst up next to him and kept eye contact while you pulled off his pants and boxershorts slowly.

He just watched you, his hands behind his back as you sat down on his knees.

"Just ask already if you can suck my dick." Fermin looked at you sitting on his knees with that small grin and the vape still in your hand.

"Can I suck your dick Fermin?" You asked and he groaned.

"Yeah, fuck you sound so hot." He swore under his breath and you looked at his still softish dick.

"Good." You leaned forward and took his tip into your mouth. You began sucking on it, licking around its base and putting in more into your mouth until his dick was standing up, covered in precum and your spit.

Then you took more into your mouth and started to move your hand up and down fkr the part that wouldn't fit into your mouth.

"Yeah, just like that." Fermin threw his head back and suddenly you pulled away. As your boyfriend looked down at you, he saw you exhaling the vape onto his dick before you took him into your mouth again.

"You're so good to me." He groaned as you started to swirl your tongue around his tip again and pumping his cock with your other free hand.

It only took a couple more minutes until you felt Fermins cock twitch inside your mouth and then his warm load shoot into the back of your throat.

He was out of breath and his shiny chest rising up and down while you stood up infront of the bed and pulled at the vape.

Fermin looked at you take off your clothes after you released the smoke into the air.

You could feel his erection against the back of your ass since you were sitting on his lower stomach.

You brought the vape up to your mouth again, you inhaled the smoke and then leaned down to Fermins mouth. He sucked the smoke inside his mouth and you began to slowly slide down on him. You clenched around him while moaning loudly, Fermin gripped your hisp tightly as he forced you to slide down faster.

"Fermin" You moaned as you began to slowly bounce up and down on him, he grabbed your tits as he rolled his hips into the direction of your hips against his.

As he started to notice that you didn't have any energy anymore and that you were too tired, he turned the two of you around so that you were now below him.

"I was waiting the whole time for this." He confessed while leaving sloppy kisses along your collar bone, his dick burried deep inside of you.

With a sudden movement, he began to thrust into you, he had a fast pace, hips slamming against yours forcefully while his balls kept hitting against your core.

It didn't take long for you to come, you clenched around him hard, loud moans and screams escaped your lips, Fermin placed his forehead on your chest while he pulled out of you and finished on your stomach. While looking up at you, he gave you a kiss on the lips and then fell into the bed next to you.

"This was amazing."

"It so was."

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Eighteen

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: Some vague spiritual mentions, VERY LIGHT spooky theme, yearning, pining (can you tell it's a jake chapter?) anxious themes, slightly tense conversation? (not an argument don't worry) fluff fluff fluff fluff, may cause butterflies, a lot of physical touch type of affection, and certainly important: Jake is the definition of 'if he wanted to, he would.'

Word Count: 6k 🤭 (couldn't stop yapping this chapter)

Summary: Jake has a cute little surprise for Charlotte, which is why he insisted on her spending the night.

Author's Note: FOLKS- this one is fucking cute. The words just kept flowing and I think we're at a point in the story where this is going to be a trend. (We're in the home stretch, which makes me want to cry, but also-there's just so much to say in the chapters, that I don't foresee them getting much shorter from here on out!) I can't wait to see how you feel at the end 🤭 ((I'm sorry in advance, don't yell at me))

Crystal - Stevie Nicks "Like the love that had finally, finally found me, Then I knew, In the crystalline knowledge of you."

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God, it’s early. 

I managed to carefully slide out of bed without her waking up, which was already difficult because I wanted nothing more than just to stay curled up around her. But I need to be awake for a little bit before I surprise her today.

She told me when she was upset that her best friend and she had a tradition of going to Salem for her birthday every year. She wasn’t super into the spiritual side of things, but she loves Halloween, and with her birthday only being a few days before, she’s a bit biased. 

Unfortunately, this year, they never made it, and my heart shattered watching her tell me that the funeral was just a week prior to her birthday. I’ve never wanted just to squeeze someone harder than her at that moment.  When I had gone and talked to Josh, I had asked if he minded covering the bar that night because she was so upset and I didn’t have the heart to just.. let her be alone after that. But I told him that I would stop by the bar before I came home so I could talk to him about today. Thankfully, he was happy to take care of everything for the day, with the help of Danny. 

I sip on coffee as I figure out what I’m going to wear for the day, assuming that she will probably look nicer than my typical outfits. I know it doesn’t really matter what I’m wearing, but I want to make sure she has a good day and that I can manage not to look homeless sometimes. 

Grabbing a few things from my closet quietly, I sneak back out of my room so she can sleep for as long as possible. I drop them on the couch, deciding to really just go for it today. 

I pull my hair back into a bun, stealing a little more of Josh’s shaving cream, it’s not super grown in, but I may as well. Taking the time to make sure my face is clean-shaven before waking her. Remembering the fact she said I looked cute on Facetime after I shaved reluctantly, but if this is what she prefers, then I don’t mind.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I sit on the bed next to her, just watching her sleep for a minute. She’s curled up with my pillow, which she must have stolen when I left the room. I don’t want to wake her up; she looks so comfortable. 

Softly, I run my hand down the back of her head, and she doesn’t flinch at all. I gently scratched her back, hoping that the contact would help, but still, she didn’t budge. 

I lean down, kissing her temple and then whispering. “Hey you,” into her. Pressing slow, soft kisses into the side of her face. 

“Mmm..” her sleepy little groan made me laugh. 

Peppering a few more kisses against her cheek, mumbling, “Goodmorning.”

It takes her a minute, but she finally opens her eyes slightly and looks up at me. 

I whisper, “There she is.” 

“Why are you up?” She mumbles, reaching her arms out to me. Wrapping her up in a hug, she tucks her little face into me. Maybe we can just stay like this instead. 

“You should get dressed and come with me. I have a few things I need to do,” I tell her, hoping she’ll not fight it. 

“How dressed are we talking?” 

I sit up a little to look at her, “Um.. we’ll be like.. in public.. Does that help?” 

She touches my face, ignoring my answer, “Did you just shave?” 

“Mhm,” I respond, choking back a laugh. “Come on, sleeping beauty, don’t get distracted.” 

”Your face is soft,” she says quietly, as she’s running her hand down my cheek and holding my chin. 

“Just for you,” I giggle before leaning down and kissing her. “I have coffee for you, too.” 

“What are you up to?” She squints at me; there’s no way she’s figured it out already. 

My eyebrows pull together, “What do you mean?” 

“You’re being extra sweet this morning..” her voice trailing off. 

“Am I not allowed to be nice to you?” I laugh. “I can be mean if you’d prefer.”

She laughed with me this time, “I can’t even imagine that.” 

“I don’t think I could be mean to you if I tried.” I would never. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

While she’s getting herself together, I pull on the outfit I had picked out earlier. Cuffing the bottom of my pants so they sit nicely with the boots I’m about to grab. Am I hoping that she’ll think I look nice? Maybe. Opening the drawer of my nightstand, the few rings that I have and my watch sit there. I slide on one of the rings and decide to actually wear my watch today. Staring at myself in the mirror, I feel like I look kind of put together? I don’t think I could tell you the last time I tried this hard with an outfit. 

I’m sitting on the couch, just scrolling through emails, when I hear her walking out of the bathroom. I glance up from my phone as she walks over to me. 

Her voice was so low when she finally let out, “Okay, I’m ready.”

I take her in, her sweater tucked into a little plaid skirt, leaving her legs on display even if they’re covered by black tights. Even with a coat over it, she looks so good. I just quietly stand up, still looking at her but unable to form words. 

“Oh,” she squeaks, looking me up and down. “You look cute.” 

“Hah, thank you,” I can’t shake the nerves from my voice when I say it. “You–” I hesitate, not even knowing how to compliment her at the moment. 

“I’m what?” 

“You just look,” I start, glancing down at her again. “Wow.” 

She giggles at me as I struggle to find words, “Stop it!” 

I shake my head as if it’ll help me refocus. I wasn’t prepared for her to be able to look like this on a whim. 

“Alright, you, let’s go.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Once we’re in the car, I hand her my phone, letting her pick whatever for music. I had already put an address into my maps, just to at least get me to Salem– assuming that she would have something picked out by the time we got there. We hardly make it to the turnpike before I feel her staring at me. 

“Jacob,” she pauses, “Where are we going?”

“Well,” I glanced over at her for a second. “You said you always went to Salem around your birthday and that you hadn’t gone this year because of everything going on so..” 

“Wait- really?” Her voice was small. 

I reach over, resting my hand on her thigh, “Mhm. I figured it’s not fair for you not to do anything for your birthday, and I’m sure you already know some things you like to do there.” 

She leans over the center console, kissing my cheek a few times before letting a small “thank you” squeak out. 

“Of course,” I can feel my face warm, squeezing her leg a few times.  Her hand holds my forearm gently, and the little bit of contact gives me butterflies. 

“I’m assuming you’ve been to Salem?”

“Not in a long time, so whatever you want to do will basically be new to me.” Her eyes light up, and she quickly grabs her phone. 

She’s quiet for a few minutes, just buried in her phone until she holds it out in front of me, “Loook! We could do this!”  I pull it closer so I can actually see; it’s a video of people getting their aura photos done. 

“We can, if you want,” I tell her. 

She’s precious; the way her face lights up when she’s excited makes me want to just give her everything and anything she wants. 

She spent a lot of the drive there finding little things that we could do and excitedly telling me about them. Even if I had to keep reassuring her that whatever she chose was fine. I don’t think she’s used to people doing things for her.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Her voice is quiet when she asks, “Can we get coffee?” as if she thinks I’ll say no.

“Mhm,” I hum back. “Just pick where from.” The way she gets shy asking for things makes me laugh to myself. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” I giggle, looking over at her. “Whatever you want, Char.” 

After finding the one she had decided on, I listened to her try and decide which drink she wanted to try; the way she was tied between the two made me laugh.

“Whichever one you get, I’ll get the other one,” I whisper to her. 

Her head whips over, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I don’t mind,” 

We finally move up to order; I make her go first so I can order the other drink she didn’t pick. Avoiding looking at her when I could almost feel the wind from how fast she snapped her neck to look at me. I pull out my wallet and quickly pay as her jaw slacks open, staring at me. 

“What?” 

“You just-” 

My eyebrows raise as she hesitates, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well,” her voice is low, looking at the ground for a second. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” I tell her, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to a table. “I’ll go grab the drinks; make yourself comfortable.”

I pull out my phone while I wait for our drinks to be made. Clicking on the app for our cameras, which I honestly don’t really look at often. I can just look real quick, so I don’t have to bug them. 

Switching between the few, everything seems normal, but I still feel compelled to check my texts. Nothing. 

Me: hey, if you need anything just let me know okay? 

Me: Also, daniel will be there around like 4pm so you won’t have to close alone

Josh: i know! don’t worry about us just go have fun with your lady! 

‘Jake’ gets called, and it pulls me out of my phone. I grab our drinks and wander back over to the table. Her hands reach out as soon as I get close to her; she’s almost vibrating with excitement over it. 

She sips on her drink, letting out little ‘mmm’s as she does. It’s unfair how adorable she is. Thankful that the drink I chose wasn’t terrible, I finally tried it, realizing that she had her eyes locked on me. 

“Here,” I hand her my drink, her eyes lighting up as she takes it from me. The fact she didn’t hesitate to sip on it gives me butterflies. You would think I’d never kissed her with the way my body reacts to basic things she does. 

Josh: do we have more downeast somewhere or is this it 

Josh: it’s not urgent just whenever you get a second 

Mel: do you want me to go in at all? I can just help out if you don’t want me to make drinks. 

‘Motion Detected’  notifications from Josh opening the bar sit on my lock screen. 

“Hey,” she says, bringing me back to reality. Her hand reaching up and tapping in between my eyebrows lightly, “What’s going on?” 

“Just have a bunch of texts from Josh about the bar,” I tell her, trying not to let my eyebrows pull back together. 

Her eyes look between mine as we sit there, “Everything is going to be fine. Danny won’t let the bar burn down.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I tell her, sliding my phone into my pocket. “Where would you like to go first?”

“Do you want to see some of the witch trial sites?” She asks.  “Or is it too spooky for you?” Followed with a slight giggle as she looked at me. 

“Oh, don’t start with me,” I laugh before deciding to tease her back. “I’ll hold your hand if you get too scared, though.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I can tell she really enjoys it here because she can just glance at her maps and then know where to wander off to. She really seems in her element getting to bring me to all these sites. Almost makes me wonder if this is what they would do every year. Telling me about everything that happened in each of the spots. She made sure to point out little details that she really enjoyed. 

My phone has vibrated a few times, and I’m genuinely fighting demons, trying not to look at what it is. Everything is fine. Dan is there. It’s okay. I spend a minute trying to shake the thought and refocus on her as we walk through a little bit of the cemetery. 

“Not too scared yet, are you?” she taunts. 

A slight grin sneaks onto my face, “And what if I was?” 

“Oooohhh, poor baby,” she teases me further, her hand running over my cheek. I know she’s trying to be funny, but hearing her call me ‘baby’ makes my knees weak. The way her lips pouted when she said it also made me wish I could just kiss her freely. 

“I offer to hold your hand, and you just make fun of me?” I let out dramatically. “I see how it is.” Hearing her laugh is worth having to be a bit dramatic. I pout my lip out at her as she giggles at me. 

“I’d take it back,” She starts. “But, you’re cute when you do this.” She taps my bottom lip gently, and I can’t stop the grin that forms when she does. Maybe I am scared. 

“Where else do you want to show me? Or are we just trying to pick up some spirits to bring home with us?” 

She finds a few that she hadn’t been to in a while, leading the way. I would gladly follow her around even if she were lying to me about every single thing. She kept touching my arm when she would tell me things, and it was taking everything in me to stay calm about it. It’s not that deep, Jake. Chill out. I try to tell myself, and then she tells me the history of the next place, and her hand lingers on my bicep for a minute, which makes all the hair on my body stand. 

I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket as we walk to another spot that she’s excited about. It’s not important. They have everything under control. I try to ignore the feeling and focus on her. But the incessant vibration against my leg is making it difficult. 

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

For fucks sake, what could be happening? 

I pull out my phone for what feels like the thousandth time, seeing a handful of notifications sitting there. 

Josh: imagine I just get super drunk because it’s slow!! 

Josh: i’m so kidding 

Josh: or am I? the world will never know.

Danny: Please just ignore Josh. He’s cackling like a witch behind the bar so I know he’s being a little shit. 

Josh (in the Caravel Chat) : Hear me out- We just close early today for fun!

Sam: why is josh asking me to come help him lol 

Quinn: Did you leave Josh alone at the bar? 

Danny: Everything is fine I swear.

Sam: actually if you pay me for the night, i’ll do it 

Staring at all the texts that have come in, I can’t fight the way my hand rubs over my face. As I’m trying to decide what to respond to first, I feel her hand grab my arm. 

“Babe,” she says, squeezing me gently. My heart is simultaneously pounding at her casual pet name but also aches at the look on her face. Get off your phone, you dumbass. 

Locking my phone and shoving it into my pocket, I look back at her, “I’m so sorry.”

She gently grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her, “I think it’s wonderful how much you care about your job, but they can handle it.” 

“No, no, you’re right. I’m still sorry, and I promise I’ll stop,” comes out a bit sadder sounding than I expected. She leans up, placing a kiss on my cheek. 

“It’s okay,” she says quietly, “I just want you to have fun too.” 

“I am,” I whisper. “Come on, the aura photos are calling our names.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I pull open the door to the little shop that offers the photos, letting her excitedly go in first. She doesn’t go far, just waiting for me to come in with her. There’s someone already talking to the girl working there, so we just wander around looking at the selection of crystals and stones they have. She’s kept herself close to me while I pick up random crystals to look at them closer. Is she nervous? She has such a strong personality when it comes to her job, which I know is part of the gig for her, but it’s interesting to see how she acts when she doesn’t have to be in charge. The fact she has been attached to me from the moment we walked in is throwing me off. 

Hearing the door chimes ring, the girl behind the counter glances over at us. 

“Hi! Did you have any questions?” her voice was bubbly. 

I feel her gently tap my arm, seeing her stare at me from the corner of my eye. I have to fight the laugh when I realize she wants me to ask.

“Actually, yes,” I start. “Is there any chance we can get our aura photos done?” 

“Oh, absolutely!” She says. “Did you want individual ones?” 

“Please,” I tell her. “If you have time, obviously.” 

She laughs boisterously, “Lucky for the two of you– after Halloween, we die off so quickly! I have so much time; I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

She brings us to the area they have set up, explaining the process and how it works before having Charlotte sit down first. She’s so graceful as she gets situated. So, she carefully made sure her hands were in the right place after adjusting her hair a few times. The girl working here was so friendly and was talking her through it to help make sure that she was relaxed, so she got an authentic reading. 

I don’t know what it is about her that is so incredibly captivating, but the entire time, I can’t look away from her. I stand far enough out of the way that she can’t see me, but all I can think is– she is effortlessly beautiful. The feeling I get when I look at her scares me; my heart races, and the way my stomach turns. The witch trial sites could never compare. 

It only takes a few minutes before we’re swapping spots. She, on the other hand, stays within eyeshot for me. Doing everything I can to focus on the employee and not her, I feel myself calm down a bit. The girl leans down to take the photo, and I can see Charlotte in my peripheral. With the soft smile on her face, as she watches, I find myself unable to hold back the full smile as I hear the shutter of the camera.

“If you want, I can give you guys a little explanation of what your colors mean!” The girl offers, and we have the time to kill, so we obviously take her up on the offer. 

  We follow her back up to the counter, where she slides both of our photos over to us. My eyes go to her right away; our colors are not the same at all. 

“Ladies first,” the girl says, nudging Char’s photo forward a bit. “You have quite a bit of red in here, dear. Red typically represents a passionate, intense, loyal person. Depending on the shade of red, it can also have some romantic representations as well.” 

I glance over as Charlotte is just beaming at this girl while she explains. “You also have a little bit of a deeper purple in there, which means you may have something that is bothering you. Some sort of obstacle that you need to overcome.” 

Oh no. My hand finds hers, lightly tapping just to let her know I’m still there. She so softly wraps her hand around my index finger, squeezing a few times, almost like a ‘thank you.’

“And now for you,” the girl taps my photo forward. “You have majority green, which is usually characterized by the person’s nurturing disposition. You embody compassion and understanding. Since yours is also more of a mint green, you must be someone who just radiates peace and serenity to those around you.”

Charlotte’s soft laugh, “Sounds about right.”

“You’re obviously welcome to look up more about the meanings behind the colors! I just figured I would give you a baseline of what they mean,” she tells us.

“No, thank you so much for that, actually,” Charlotte finally chimes in.

The girl chuckles as she runs my card for everything, looking at me as she hands it back, “You know it’s kinda cute; your aura colors complement each other well.” Shooting me a wink as she glances down at the photos. Why is she trying to torture me?

There’s no way my face isn’t a little red at her comment, and then I glance over at her; the subtle pink in her cheeks makes me feel less insane. But is she just embarrassed, or is she into that? 

“Thank you again,” I tell her as we go to leave, pushing the door open for Charlotte to go out first.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Where to next?” 

Her excitement is palatable, “Oooo, I have an idea!” 

I watch her as she leads me to another little shop that she likes to look through. My heart feels.. different as I watch her. Seeing her get excited over these things that she looks forward to year after year, the way she just beams back at me like I’m the one who founded this town. She keeps holding my hand, and even when she lets go to show me something, she always finds her way back to it. She walks so close that she bumps into me constantly. Okay so.. I have a crush on her.. But how could I not? 

Her sweet face when she turns to me with something that she’s found. I don’t know what’s worse, the soft sparkle in her eyes or trying to focus on anything beyond how perfectly painted her freckles are over her nose. Her little voice every time, ‘Jacob look!’ she would whisper, made me laugh to myself. 

“Do you want it?” I whisper after she’s shown me just about everything in the store. 

And she’s suddenly shy again. 

“No, no, it’s just cute,” she tries to backpedal. 

I take the dainty chain bracelet from her, “It’s very cute.” Inspecting it closer, knowing I’m going to just hold onto it even if she tries to fight me on it. She can’t just show me a million things and think I’m not going to offer to get one of them, at the very least, for her.

I go to set the bracelet back in its place, “Do you want to keep looking around?”

She nods quickly, grabbing my free hand gently. As soon as she turns her head, I pull the bracelet back to me, keeping it tucked in my hand so she doesn’t see it. 

We spent a few more minutes wandering around with her, continuing the same routine of finding something she liked and turning to show me. 

“We can go,” her soft voice rings as we’re walking towards the front. 

I look over at her, fighting the urge to smile, “Give me like two minutes.” 

Walking up to the counter, I hand the bracelet to the employee, knowing there’s no way she isn’t going to notice. Her hand tightened around mine as they dropped the bracelet into a little paper bag, handing it over to me with my receipt. 

Tugging her behind me as we leave, I turn to her, holding out the bag, “For you.” 

“You’re so–” She starts, but pouting her lip when she’s stumped for words. “Thank you, babe.” 

Please just keep calling me that. If I thought her pet naming me woud be bad, I was severely unprepared. 

“Can you help me?” She sweetly asks, holding up the ends of the bracelet to me. 

I grab them from her, and she holds out her wrist for me. Something about the motion of clasping this little chain on her feels like time has slowed. The look on her face, her skin is so soft, and the dainty bracelet looks so perfect on her. I turn it around to see the little charm that’s on it, just holding her wrist for a second. ‘Crush’ may not be the word anymore.   ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We spent a little while wandering in and out of shops throughout the little street. As we walk further, the iconic Witch House comes into view. A giant black house with three distinct peaks in the roof, it’s hard to miss, but she still points it out to me. 

“Ooooh! We used to take cute pictures in front of it every year.” 

“Are you saying that you want a picture?”

“Maybe,” She grabs my hand, tugging me along with her. She pulls her phone from her bag, and I reach my hand out, thinking that she just wants me to take it. “No, come here.” 

She pulled me close to her and reached out to take a picture of us. She wants.. a picture of the two of us? My arm wraps around her waist gently as she tucks herself into me; she beams at the camera; her smile could light up a room at this moment. 

“You better show off those teeth, Jacob,” she says, making me chuckle to myself. Smiling but looking at her, I can see her clicking the shutter button out of the corner of my eye. 

“Um, do you guys want me to take one for you?” a stranger quietly interjects as they’re passing by. 

“Oooh, yes!” she quickly hands them her phone. Okay, we’re doing this now, haha, that’s so fine. 

She comes back to me, leaning into my side and letting her hand rest on my stomach. Oh, uh.  My arm pulls her into me, and my hand sits on her lower back; I can feel her staring at me, so I glance over. Her lips pulled into the cutest smile; I swear she could feel my heart pounding. Her eyes dropped to my mouth and then back up, making me fully smile at her. 

“Perfect,” she whispers as she looks over at the person, but I don’t want to stop looking at her. I force my head to turn away from her. I looked over to the camera and felt her leaning against me slightly. It takes two seconds before they start walking back over with her phone. She clicks on her camera roll, quickly swiping through them and thanking the person for helping. She turns to me as she looks through them again. 

“Stop, this one’s so cute,” she turns it to me. They caught me looking at her.. We look like a couple; my stomach tenses at the thought. I... Watching as she sends me a bunch of them, taking a second to favorite a couple of them so she doesn’t lose them. “Oh wait, this one too!”  The one moment of her looking at me, her hand sitting on my stomach and full teeth smile on display, looking right at her– my heart flutters at the sight of it. I hadn’t considered how we look together.. from someone else’s point of view. I look like I’m in lo—.

She cuts me off, “Do you want to get some food? I don’t know how late you planned on being here, but at least then, we aren’t starving on the drive home.”

“Um, yeah, we probably should,” I stumble over my words for a second. “Was there somewhere you had in mind?” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We wandered around for a bit trying to decide what we wanted. It probably would have gone quicker if we focused and weren’t talking about all the things in the window displays as we passed them. But the way she hardly let go of my hand the entire time, I wasn’t about to stop her from doing whatever it is she wanted. 

We almost walked past the restaurant she decided that she wanted to try, but I think if you looked hard enough, you would have seen the smoke from how fast she hit the brakes when she realized it was next to us. It was a treat for me to see her so.. joyful. 

The server dropping off our drinks and taking our order, we have time to just stare at each other and I listen to her tell me how she’s been looking at this place on instagram for a while. 

I finally ask, “Was this a good surprise at least?” 

“Are you kidding? Of course it was,” she said, leaning forward with a sweet little grin on her lips. 

“I know it’s not the same, but—“ 

She stops me quickly, “If I didn't think she’d hear me, I’d say it might be even better.“ Don’t tell me that. 

“I don’t know about that,” 

“Hey,” she almost scolds me. “It was very sweet of you– no but’s allowed.” 

I giggle at the tone of her voice, knowing she would absolutely yell at me if I kept going. The server dropped off our food quietly as we kept talking about the little things we saw today. She kept asking what I liked most, and I couldn’t be honest because it was just getting to be with her.  She told me about how she and Cass would always try to find new things every year, but they also just enjoyed wandering through the same historical sites because it was just interesting to see. 

“Are you still panicking over the bar?” She asks, scooting her plate away from her. 

It hits me that I’ve been distracted enough that I hadn’t even looked at my phone. 

“Actually.. I hadn’t thought about it,” I tell her. 

She fakes a gasp at me, “Well, look at that.”

“Growing up so fast,” I giggle.  Or it could be the fact I spent the whole day getting to watch a beautiful girl smile at me for bringing her here. 

“Proud of you,” she whispers with her foot grazing my leg. 

She’s absolutely killing me. 

Our server came over with our bill, and I had just held my hand out for the little black folder. I slid my card in without hesitation and handed it back to them. I quietly let out a small ‘Thank you’ as they took the small folder away from me. I look back over to her, and the pink tint to her cheeks is more noticeable than I’m sure she’d like. What is she blushing over? 

“You okay?” 

“Mhm,” she hums back.

“You sure?” 

“Yes,” she laughs. “..just you.” 

The server comes back with the folder, taking my card out. I can feel her stare as she watches me sign the receipt and slide cash into the folder for their tip. I look up at her and softly ask, “You ready?” Letting her lead the way out, my hand found its place on her lower back, trying to keep her close to me. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“It’s so cute here when it’s dark out,” she says as she’s looking at all the shops lit up now that the sun is set. 

I just watch her take everything in, the pure joy on her face, and my heart feels like it’s melting for the hundredth time today. She slides her hand into mine, leaning into my arm and wrapping her free hand over my bicep as we walk. What is she doing? 

“Thank you for everything today,” She squeaks out. 

I look over, placing a kiss on the side of her head, “You’re very welcome.” 

She stops walking, tugging my arm lightly. I turn around to face her when she closes the gap between us. Tilting her head back slightly as she leans into my chest, leaving a few sweet kisses against my lips. 

“I’ve been waiting for that all day,” she mumbles into me. She’s been waiting? I COULD HAVE DONE THAT SOONER?

“I’m sorry, hun,” I mumble back. “I’ll just have to make up for it now.” Earning the biggest smile out of her, making me laugh at how eager she just got. 

“In that case,” she laughs, wiggling herself out of my arms but grabbing my hand instead. “Let’s go, baby!” 

After a lovely little walk filled with giggles and a few more pit stops that she insisted on just to give me a kiss, we finally made it to the car. I can see her trying to readjust to be more comfortable, moving her legs around every which way. 

I look over at her, letting out a small ‘hey’ before patting my leg. I reach over, carefully grabbing her ankles and pulling her legs out over my lap. We sit in the comfortable quiet for a bit, whatever song she’s chosen playing softly while she just looks through her phone. My hand hasn’t left her since I moved her legs. Rubbing little circles on her ankle or just sliding up the side of her foot. Anything to keep some sort of contact, and she doesn’t seem to mind. 

She reaches over, lightly running her fingertips over my cheek. It’s hard not to smile at it; she’s so fucking cute. 

“Your face is still so soft,” she giggles. 

“I wanted to look nice,” I admit. 

She rebuttals quickly, “You always look nice.” 

“Mmm,” I start. “But standing next to you all day, I wanted to make sure I at least looked half as good as you.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The drive home felt short in comparison, but the lack of anxiety I felt this time probably helped. We immediately head up to the apartment, surprisingly avoiding the bar.

“Sooo..” I start, keeping my voice low as I sneak up behind her, sliding my arms around her waist. “The bar doesn’t close for a couple more hours..” 

She twists around in my arms to face me, “Jacob, you’re not about to go to work right now.”

“That wasn’t my thought, but thank you for that,” I let out in the most monotone voice. 

“Oh! Are you turning a new leaf already? One day of me pestering you to stop working is all it took?” She teases me with a little smirk plastered on her face. 

“You really don’t have to make fun of me,” I say, letting my hands settle on her hips. “But, yes— maybe it helped.“

Her hands held the sides of my face, “It is nice to just enjoy you outside of the bar.” 

I mumble back, “Is that so?” 

“Mhm,” Her body leans into me. “I don’t have to share you with anyone else this way.” You’re not sharing me in there either, trust me. 

“Are you trying to say you want more attention?”  I question her. 

“From you? Absolutely,” her voice is so sexy; my body feels like it’s on fire. I want quite literally nothing more than to do that.

Pulling her into me, I whisper, “What kind of attention do you want, hun?” 

“Mmmm…” She hums, before her head tilts slightly and with a delicious little smile on her lips. And then she whispers, “You’re full of surprises today; why don’t you decide, babe?” 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Nineteen

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

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[myokk]

HOLA! ❤️ First of all, dropping some kudos because I love you and your art so much (basically my blog can be your side blog too at this point!) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Second, from the character ask, I'd like to know about 3,4 and 20 for both Eloise and Leo 😁

Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

HOLA MI ITALIANA FAVORITA💓​ I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ALL OF THE YAPPING I'M ABOUT TO DO🤭​ will this get you to finally visit me🥺​

I'm going to answer these for Eloise SINCE I already did 3 for Leo & I have someone asking me about 4 for Leo as well🥺💓

3) What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

This is a tricky answer…just bc my evil gremlin mc in the game has NOTHING to do with Eloise in my writing. I guess I would say her name? I was just thinking of what would be the most British sounding name I could think of when I started playing in December🙂‍↕️

But then my imagination took hold of me…I started thinking about Eloise’s backstory…and when I thought of how all of her family dynamics/how she grew up would influence her personality I started to be really dissatisfied with the game and the lack of choice we have while playing. SO I gave up on the game completely after the restricted section quest and started to use my free time to write my fic in January🥹🫶 but her backstory, personality, and role in my story are definitely the most interesting things about her to me!!

Bonus: my first ever drawings of her in January!!! Bad quality bc it’s an insta story screenshot😆💓 (I redid one for my fic🤭)

4) And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

Hmmmmm😭😭 I think her personality is what I struggled with the most and continue to struggle with as I write!!!! I always want her to feel like a *real* person with flaws, but ALSO convey to the reader why they should love her as much as I do. I think I’m successful bc I get comments/messages a lot from people telling me how much she resonates with them (and she’s some people’s favorite???😳💘) but I STILL CANT HELP BUT FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT !!! It’s so hard sometimes keeping in mind how she is and how she thinks, and I never want her to be wishy-washy or doing things out of character for her. It’s a fun challenge but a challenge😭💓 (also her appearance changes like crazy in my art but whatever I’m learning😆)

20) bonus: share any additional thoughts, art, favorite scenes, anything you’ve been waiting for a chance to ramble about.

DES YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO YAP WHEN YOU SENT THIS MESSAGE😆😆😆😆😆

I really, REALLY want to yap about the foreshadowing and scenes I’m working towards in my fic BUT IVE ONLY TALKED TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLR ABOUT MY PLANS ( @choccy-milky & @kay9leo 🤭🤭) AND I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH I DONT HAVE MANY READERS😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 maybe in the future…

This is me redrawing the chess scene from my fic bc I’m really dissatisfied with how Seb looks in the original (he’s probably my LEAST FAVORITE TO DRAW BC IT’S IMPOSSIBLE !!!!!!!)

And ummmm….hmmm Eloise is DEFINITELY not a self-insert character to me, but I DID give her aspects of myself. Things like…we have the same birthday (January 31) and eye color (dark green), and I tend to overthink a lot and can be in my own head maybe too much, but I’m ALSO a lot more assertive and gremlin than she is😆😆���😆 I love the fact that she’s so soft and sweet💓💓💓 & I just want to wrap her up in a big hug and never let go of her🥺🤲

(Imelda is my self-insert tbh…and this moment in my fic was ME😤:

At the sight of Imelda's worried face her throat contracted - Eloise found she couldn't speak - and she burst into tears again. They were rolling, hot and salty, down her cheeks and she hid her crumpled face back into the crooks of her arms. Imelda immediately wrapped her arms around Eloise, and she melted into her friend's embrace. Hands gently stroking her hair as she cried and cried and cried, murmurs whispered in soft Spanish to the top of her head.

She was overwhelmed, desolate, lonely.

I feel really bad for Eloise at this point in her story, but I also find it really interesting to keep poking her to see when she finally snaps and decides that she NEEDS to stand up for herself and what she wants. She hasn’t quite realized that she’s the only one who’s ultimately in charge of her life & I’m really really enjoying watching her become the person she’s meant to be🥹🫶🥹🫶

[cindylouwhooo]

Chapter One

Gigi’ POV

There’s something about the spring breeze that instantly calms me.

Well, it usually does.

Now I’m just a ball of anxiety, counting down the seconds until I explode.

I’ve been in the studio for the past three days, wasting the time of my producer and assistant during the day, and getting no sleep while twiddling my thumbs and kidding myself that I can write another album at night.

I thought building a recording studio in my Monaco apartment while I stay here would help me. It hasn’t. At all.

And now I’m standing on my balcony, staring out on the packs of people running around the streets trying to get the place ready for the Grand Prix, contemplating whether I could be a good driver—well, just enough to quit my singing career.

I don’t mind the category; I could do F4. F1 Academy too. I’m really simple.

I drop my head on my hand and groan, just when my phone starts ringing from my back pocket.

“What?”

“Tell me you’ve written something.” Ally, my agent, demands through the device.

“I’ve written something.”

“Okay.” She sighs out. “Now tell me the truth.”

“I’m thinking ways of becoming a Formula 4 driver. Do we still have Susie Wolf’s number?”

“Gigi.”

“Ally, I’m serious. I don’t think I have another one in me.”

Ally starts yapping about something, and I put her on speaker while opening Twitter on my phone.

gigimymother

@gigisantos GIRL!!! RECKLESS THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING!!!! WHEN’S THE NEW ONE????

santoslover

@gigisantos delulu is the solulu cause i still think Gigi is surprising us with a new album on Reckless anniversary…

—> gigifan girl be ffr she’s forgotten all about us

—> santoslover shut up

—> dannylovesgigi SAME!! i do also believe my ex is still in love with me sooooo

—> sandyford absolutely not, she is SO over…fame got to her and she thinks two mediocre albums are enough to stay rich 🤑

dannylovesgigi

y’all why’s the tl saying Gigi quit music???

“Were my albums mediocre?”

“G, get off Twitter for fuck’s sake and listen to what I’m saying.” I do as she says, mainly because I’m pretty sure she’ll fly from Toronto and strangle me if I don’t. “Time is ticking. And not in your favour. There’s so much i can do to keep you afloat.”

It’s the same speech. Over and over.

The same speech that I hear every time I pick up the phone from her call. The same speech that drove me away from Toronto and onto Monaco and the same speech that has drenched all the inspiration from me. I don’t have anything to write about, no words to turn into a song. And with every speech I hear, I don’t even want to try.

It’s draining. I hate it.

“Look, I know it’s difficult but you have to have something.”

I want to cry, I really do because her desperation is so evident in her voice. She believes in me too much and it’s gonna hurt when I disappoint her at the end of the summer.

The phone vibrates against my ear a couple of times and I take that chance to get out of the phone call with my doomed future.

“I gotta go, Ally. Something’s come up. I’ll call you later, okay?”

I end the call before she can butt in and let out the longest sigh in the history of the world. I see my best friend’s name on the screen of the phone and inevitably smile the biggest smile at the words on her text.

francis the king

you, me, alcohol 🍷

tonight

no is not a good enough answer

~ ~ ~

Strangely, the sweaty, already drunk people distantly surrounding our table made my mood quite quickly. Flashes of light spark every other second and I’ve become all too aware of the fact that it’s my first public viewing in a while.

My best friend is nursing on her drink while rolling her eyes at her boyfriend that’s on the phone with her, and I giggle at her facial expressions.

She’s incredibly in love, yet acts like Pierre is bothering her on a girl’s night out.

“Yes, I’ll call you at the end of our night…no we won’t call an UBER…okay, okay. Bye.” She ends the call abruptly and with the biggest, most dramatic sigh. “Okay, now we can start having fun.”

“I was already having fun.” I giggle.

Spending time with Francisca is honestly the only time I feel without the baggage of the third album looming over me. The bartender brings us the second round, and two extra shots on the house, accompanied with a wink for both of us.

“He’s cute.” Kika whisper-yells close to my ear over the loud music.

“Uh, oh. Trouble in paradise with Pierre?”

She rolls her eyes and slumps on my shoulder. “I meant you, dumbass.”

I know she did. But no.

It’s not like I’m cancelling love out of my life, but even entertaining the thought of going through the stages of finding someone and everything that happens after I’ve found someone decent, makes me want to hurl.

“The only man in my life is the imaginary one I created in the studio in order to spike my inspiration to write that damn album. His name is Tim.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Am not!”

“Shut up and drink.”

“Amen.”

~ ~ ~

Four rounds and five shots each later, we’re laughing at our lives and wiping the runny mascara that’s dripping on our cheeks. I don’t know what time it is but I can definitely feel the early stages of a good hangover that I’ll be having once I wake up.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because four rounds and five shots later, I feel ten times better than I did when Ally called me earlier. And not because of the alcohol, but because Kika has lectured the insecurities out of me. She spent our girls night out talking to me and listening to me go on and on about my block and the expectations I’ve put for myself—I talked about shit I wouldn’t admit out loud.

At the end of the night, we’re clutching each other outside of the club and laughing so loud, heads are turning to look at us.

“Jesus, your boyfriend might be fast on track but he’s taking his sweet time getting here.” I pout and drop my head on Kika’s shoulder. “If I make a joke, like, ‘didn’t know you were as slow as your single seater’ will he cry?”

Kika laughs as she slips and grabs me tighter to not fall. “Yeah, he’ll probably cry.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Well, now I feel betrayed.” Pierre’s voice reaches us and Kika bounces off me to jump on him. He grabs her immediately and twirls her around, breaking my heart and making me the happiest person at the same time.

gigisantos …

gigisantos girls night was a success 🍷🍾🎉 @francisca.cgomez

Liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 893,409 more

gigiismother give us the new album!!!!!

santosloverrrr girl, get in the studio

pierregasly thank god i arrived in time

—> gigi @pierregasly shut up tripod

gigisantoslvr love her relationship with pierre 😍

f1fanlover why’s lando in the likes???

—> gigigigi because she’s friends with the drivers?

—> f1fanlover yea but they barely speak

francisca.cgomez my soulmate ❤️

As I drop my still clothed body on my bed, a million lyrics fly through my head. Melodies and words swirl in my alcohol infused mind, suffocating me at once and frustrating me as I forget one by one in the aftermath of a night out at the club.

~ ~ ~

[teaandchoux]

On Lizzie and Tommy Shelby

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: I've recently finished the last episode of Peaky Blinders and I have so much on my mind regarding the relationship between Lizzie and Thomas. There simply isn't enough content online to accommodate for my internet surfing, so I'll post my thoughts on here instead, mainly about why I don't think the ship would ever work out. Spoilers and (probably) many grammatical errors after the cut!

It isn't that I don't want to like Lizzie x Tommy - in fact, I was on my knees the entire show praying that they would work out. Eventually, though, I lose hope seeing their relationship struggle to move beyond a painful, one-sided love for the majority of the entire show (except towards the end, but more on that later). It gets to a point where they need a miracle to work.

I should also mention Grace. To me, her significance in the show seems greater when she's dead than alive. I didn't even think that she would make an appearance again after season 1, and that her role is to solidify the distrust Thomas has in others (caused by their entanglements followed by her betrayal). I don't dislike her at all, but I don't think I ever got the chance to truly invest myself in her story before she is already killed. What the show stresses most is the impact her death leaves on Thomas. He is tortured by grief, self-blame, guilt, etc.. So while I don't care much for Grace x Tommy, it's not difficult to see that Thomas will never love anyone as much as he loves Grace.

As for Lizzie, she is who Thomas turns to after Grace's death. They haven't had much of a romantic history beforehand, but a sexual one turned professional when he offers her a job as his secretary (I will try to avoid recounting everything in the show lest this gets boring). During this time, Lizzie acts as his emotional crutch. This doesn't mean much, just that he uses her body to distract himself from the grieving of his late wife. Although he is the one to promise her complete exemption from her past job as a prostitute, he breaks that promise once at the Derby race, then again by basically treating her like one to cope with the loss of his wife. The only difference now is that she is exclusive to Thomas, almost willingly so because she harbours feelings for him.

Their sexual relationship continues throughout the seasons, and he turns to her once more when memories of Greta (pre-war Thomas' lover) resurfaces. So really, up to this point, there isn't a time when he has sex with Lizzie, with Lizzie in mind.

Lizzie's pregnancy prompts their marriage due to the stigmas surrounding children born of wedlock at the time, so it obviously isn't out of love. Nothing particular changes afterwards and Lizzie remains a long shot from ever comparing to Grace. I probably will go back to this topic a lot, but the difference between Thomas’ interactions with Grace contrary to other women is huge. Their sex scenes (often in slow-motion with backing music, etc.) is exceptionally intimate in contrast to the furniture-thumping, lustful fucking he has with prostitutes. Lizzie unfortunately falls into the latter category. Where even well into their marriage, she has to personally demand they do it on the bed.

That whole episode really stands out to me regarding their relationship. Thomas has no qualms in bedding other women while married to her, and Lizzie knows this. Yet she only goes as far as to forbid him from doing it in their own home and not within a day of holding their daughter’s hand (I think). It’s pitiful and only gets worse when Thomas drops the statement that she is “his property” and no one else may touch her. That sounds like something younger me would read on Wattpad and giggle and kick my feet (shame on me), but there is nothing commendable or romantic about this. While Lizzie has to negotiate against his cheating, he brazenly chalks her up as an asset in his inventory, like he would a car or a horse. Possessiveness also isn't love (‼️). There is a clear power imbalance in their dynamics; Lizzie is never in control, Thomas is. He almost never listens to anyone, let alone her. It is always him who makes the decisions and she could argue all she wants but inevitably, she would have to be the one to submit.

More specifically about Thomas' infidelity, I would understand if he has sex with other women for the sake of furthering his plans, such as with Jessie. After all, he isn't in love with Lizzie or their political marriage, so it wouldn't burden him to cheat on her if it means that he gets what he wants logically. However, he doesn't just do that. He hires prostitutes and speaks to Lizzie within the span of seconds and doesn't bat an eye. At some point even basic respect is lacking in their relationship, a relationship that Lizzie has been so loyal to, yet she is constantly met with nothing but humiliation. She holds the title of being his wife, but what supports it other than some rings and legal documents?

Heading towards the last few episodes, Thomas strives to change his ways due to false news about his impending death. He becomes more considerate of Lizzie, shows his care more often and more openly, but their relationship couldn't be salvaged with the given time constraints. At some point, Thomas says "I love you" for what is probably the first time. The way I see it, though, is that he is pushing himself to love her because he knows that is what she wants, what will make her happy. It couldn't, and doesn't work, especially given the short time they have. Even if what he says is true, Lizzie ends up leaving him.

I like this ending. Thomas is right when he says that she deserves better. My gorgeous, breath-taking, soul-stealing queen does deserve better than him and it's about time they let go of whatever relationship they have. While Thomas cares for Lizzie immensely, their relationship is more toxic than not and he ultimately couldn't give her what she needs and deserves after all these years. Sometimes things don't work out and that's okay. I hope that they do not return to each other in the movie (if it comes out), but find separate, better lives for themselves.

Notes: that is all of my late night rant, i may just be spewing nonsense atp so do tell me if i've gotten anything wrong or if you have different takes on these topics. thank yew (❁´◡`❁)

[digitalhello]

hello everyoneee ♥ i'm here with the person behind doors of 8a apartment, song yuri; the definition of a gifted child who's gone through the good old fashioned burnout. i have her short dossier here and her pinterest board for vibes here if you want to check it out. under read more you can find out more about her bio in form of bulletpoints!

27th of october, making her double scorpio + capricorn for my astrology loving friends, born and raised in seoul!

both of her parents are accountants and both of them are the definition of tiger parents. as far as her memory goes and as busy as her parents were with their jobs, they've also always emphasized studying, reading and learning and she was already attending cram school when she was four — to which her mother said was already too late. she didn't have barbies or bratz dolls growing up, and instead, newest book about physics or chemistry would be placed on her table as a present.

and soon enough everyone learned that she's actually quite talented when it came to numbers. the go-to for teachers if no one else understands the equations, been in math clubs throughout her school years, even won a national competition once (though it didn't matter to her mom because yuri was still always second on the students' grades list in high school lol!!), with many diplomas collecting dust in cardboard boxes back in her childhood bedroom.

her life was genuinely boring compared to her peers': while many were experiencing first loves, karaoke bars and exploring their youths, yuri was literally just... studying lol! it was a bit overwhelming but the knowledge of how many hours your parents put into your education and the guilt of "i cant let them down" every time her spirits waned kind of """"helped""" her push through. thankfully she was never made to pick up an instrument because her breakdown would've come a lot sooner... additionally while she wasn't the #1 pick of students in terms of popularity (her being taller than some of her male classmates didn't really help), she was generally liked; she'd help tutor other students and help them out! she never had that stuck up aura around her due to her grades

never really complains about anything because every time she tries to she's hit with the "i don't have time right now sweetie" so she just. bottles everything up... which is still a coping mechanism to this day whoops

it all pays off though and miss girl gets a ticket to a dept of astrophysics at snu :) her parents couldn't be prouder and obviously it's thanks to their care and dedication that yuri is given this special once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and really they made so many sacrifices in the past years... they put in their blood, sweat and tears into her... someone pat them on the back quickly!!!

(never mind the fact yuri doesn't actually remember when was the last time she ate a homemade meal of her mother's... or father's)

to stop yapping about her past tl;dr: the continuous flow of expectations and pressure makes yuri crumble in her second year of studies. she tries to push through, but with the amount of classes she's skipping on purpose... she eventually... drops out >_< and is promptly... cut off. because how dare she repay her parents like this after everything!!! hasn't spoken to her mom in years though her dad does reach out to check if she's alive from time to time

she couch surfs for about six months while working part time jobs until a close friend tells her about gyeogang's apts and helps her out with rent when she moves in in late 2022.

has been working as a florist at a local flowershop since 2023 and the job is, in spite of its actual nature that can be hectic and sometimes clocking in over 12 hrs a day, quite calming to her!!! after everything she enjoys having her hands occupied like that and seeing what her hands actually make when it comes to bouquets.

personality wise yuri is quite timid, sometimes too much for her own good. she tries to avoid conflicts and arguments, empathetic to others' opinions and feelings, on the introverted side. will help out however she can. quite warm when you befriend her, the type of friend for life & the type of friend you can reach out to after years of no contact without that feelings of awkwardness lingering in air. holds petty grudges however and will also completely ignore you if you asked her re: her uni situation...

some other tidbits: — has a six month old orange tabby named minnie. she thought it's a girl for longest time so the name just stuck.... and yes she's a victim to orange cat shenanigans — her apt is filled with cat safe plants!!! ask her abt recommendations or cuttings and she's your gal — has a deep fear of tinder — cycles wherever she can!!! she has a little green bike with one of those baskets on the front — got all of her piercings on a whim — has a faceless youtube vlog she hasn't posted on in like nine months — says how she needs to cook more but always forgets to buy eggs so she lives off of delivery — the type to leave anonymous noise complains notes on community board instead of directly confronting lol...

i prefer brainstorming for plotting, or taking up other people's wanted plots as my brain is pea sized when it comes to offering ideas on the spot so i will be sliding into dms instead!!!

[goldencuffs]

Hi! Do you have any new Lamen fics planned tho? And if so is it possible for you to give us hints about the plot?

YES I DO!! 🙌✨🎉

just one. maybe two.

but i've written quite a lot of one particular au. it has very cliche stereotypes - jock damen and ballet dancer laurent who are "friends" with benefits. damen is a complete and utter asshole in this. and he makes laurent's life miserable most of the time. laurent is, naturally, in love with damen.

it also features aleron and laurent getting along but with a twist... (aleron is extremely controlling and overprotective and laurent is People Pleaser to his core in this au so he goes along with all of aleron's restrictions).

i want to finish at least half of it (i already have 20k!!!) before i start posting because i don't want people to be waiting forever in between updates (not that that's what i'm known for hahahaha...............)

anyway enough yapping. here's (part) of the first scene hehe ✨

Damen sucked leisurely, like they had all the time in the world, his thumb breaching Laurent. It was dry, but they both knew how much Laurent loved the painful stretch, the initial press. Laurent’s head was vibrating in pleasure. His stomach was clenching and unclenching; he was going to come soon, and then Damen would really lose it, because he liked fucking into Laurent when he was loose and pliant. The buzzing around his head was growing, and Laurent was shaking, completely— “Shit.” Damen pulled away, just at the crest of Laurent’s orgasm. “Nooo,” Laurent groaned. “Damen, please, I’m—” “Wait. Shut up. Shit.” “What?” Laurent propped himself up on his elbows, because he was just starting to realise Damen sounded panicked, not turned on. And there was a buzzing still in his head—wait, no, next to it; Laurent turned, to where Damen’s phone was on the nightstand, and saw Jokaste’s name flash across the screen. He frowned. “Why is she calling you?” Damen snatched the phone, silencing it. “Shit.” “Why is she calling you, Damen?” Damen exhaled sharply. He ran his hands through his hair, and then seemed to remember there wasn’t much of it left, and his hand fell awkwardly in his lap, where his jeans were stretched and tented. “Look,” he said. “I completely forgot… but, uh, Jokaste and I… We got back together last week.” Laurent shot up. “What?” “Look—” “Are you fucking kidding me, Damen?” Laurent snapped. He didn’t know what to focus on: the infuriating expression on Damen’s face, his almost-orgasm, his half-naked state, the fact that Damen was back with his fucking— “What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you forget that? How could you not tell me—and, and, and, you called me over to—” “Jesus, calm down, alright,” Damen shifted on his knees, looking both morose and furious. “If anything, you should take it as a compliment I forgot about her the moment I saw you—” “What is wrong with you? Who the fuck in their right mind would take that as a compliment?” Laurent hands were shaking with—anger, distraught, frustration—as he pulled up his underwear and pants. The worst part was that his treacherous heart was taking it as a compliment. “Why did you even get back together with her? I thought her sleeping with Kastor—your brother, by the way, in case you fucking forgot—was the last straw.” Damen rolled his eyes, and now he was really starting to look annoyed, eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched. “That was months ago. And they didn’t sleep together; he just went down on her.” He paused. “Actually, you know what, this works in my favour, since I just went down on you… so it’s kind of like tit for tat. Guilt absolved.” Laurent’s mouth dropped. He stood, whirling on Damen. “Oh my fucking God, Damen. What is wrong with you?” “How many fucking times are you going to ask me that?” “How can you sit there and fucking act like you’ve done nothing wrong?” Laurent cried. “I’ve been fucking twiddling my thumbs, waiting for you, and, and, and last week. You got back with her last week—you couldn’t have told me?” “I deleted your number after she called and—” “Oh my god!” Laurent pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Oh my god. Oh my god. That’s why you’re back early, isn’t it? To see her, before she goes on her retreat?” And here it was: at three-thirty on a Tuesday morning, Damen destroying his entire world and heart with a few simple sentences, in a span of five minutes. This was record-breaking, actually, even for them.

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[messrsrobyn]

I am here to request more hat stall Pete ramble

AHHH and i am here to ask for your hand in marriage now. yes yes yes always here to ramble about pete.

(long yap sorry x)

OKAY SO!!!

the only two hatstalls we know about are minnie (gry x rav) and pete (gyf x slyth) - when i yapped about it on tt people mentioned hermione and neville, they were close but didn't actually hit the five min mark.

WHICH IS SO INTERESTING WITH PETE !!! so interesting with his deflection but i'll run over my basic thoughts on pete as a hatstall:

(first of all, this is irrelevant to whether he was placed naturally or begged to be put there, because i think either way he'd have the same dilemmas)

1) The Prank - this is my roman empire with pete!!

the fact that he was a hatstall between these two houses, he spends five years sitting and questioning which side of him is the "real side", wondering if the hat made the right choice. trying to suppress everything slightly slytherin about himself to fit in with james, to be someone that james - against slytherins - would be okay with, yk petes a v insecure lil man.

and then he watches sirius do the prank. he watched sirius get sorted into gryffindor quicker than him and defy the entireee history of his family yk? hes so inherently gryffindory that he Breaks Tradition... and then he does that???

NOW IMAGINE pete who's already battling with these two parts of himself, wondering why on earth he was a hatstall. why did the hat deliberate with him, who has only ever tried to be like and be liked by his friends, and yet someone who has slytherin practically engrained in their blood did that?? what even is a real gryffindor?

THIS is my breaking point for pete. this is where his morals get very switched. this is where he watches sirius get forgiven for this unforgiveable thing, and all of his morals start getting cloudy. the prank is where all the marauders fall apart and i've said this before. it's where wolfstars communication during the war stems from, it's where sirius and pete become fractured, it's the beginning of the end for them (in my opinion). it's where pete starts questioning good and bad people, starts questioning what makes a person what and how it's determined and generally??? just where in my mind he stops trying to repress that slytherin side, because he now knows that 'true' gryffindors can do bad shit too.

it's also said by minnie that pete "hero-worshipped" james and sirius and then he watches sirius do that? and watches the group recover again? SO MUCH DEPTH

2) the betrayal

we will neverrrr know what made pete betray the potters, not entirely. we have all our ideas and theories but we will never know. which i like. i like that we don't know. i like that we get to play around with characters and apply our own moral dilemmas of "is it justified to do this if xyz?" "could xyz cause this?" blah blah blah.

this moral compass is SO strong with gryffindors, yes? a lot less strong with slytherins. how does that balance out when you're both? when you're not quite sure the hat put you on the right side, when you're fighting alongside people braver than you? where does that leave your moral compass?

he's this mix of self-preservative and cunning, and courageous and brave. maybe, he was tortured 🤷‍♂️ maybe he had to choose between being brave and being self-preservative. maybe he just didn't have the same courage as his friends to be able to go straight to the frontlines of a war. maybe his morals weren't as clear cut as his friends and he often lost sight of what they were fighting.

see here: my idea of pete trying so so so hard those first few years to be the perfect gryffindor and earn his place there, to then enter a war and watch the numbers drop with little care from dumbledore, to watch how he weighs out lives and realising that being on the morally just side, doesn't mean all of the actions within that are morally just.

IT'S SO COMPLEX !!!

but i think there's so much more to explore with his betrayal if we take the hatstall into account. i see the torture idea a lot (and i've adored every version of it i've read) but i would LOVE to see more of pete getting tortured by DE/voldy, and he doesn't give himself up because he's hurt or because he's sad or whatever - he does it because at his core, he's always been a but too self-preservative to fight alongside gryffindors.

i.e in poa: pete - what would you have done? sirius - i would've died (courageous and brave vs self-preservative, true gryffindor vs a 'lesser one'

tbf minnie also called him "never quite in (sirius and james') league talent-wise" which could work either way. either wasn't strong enough to fight it and gave up, or knew he wasn't strong enough and turned to self-preservative methods instead.

but also... he manages (likely) a blasting curse that explodes a whole street and destroyed the sewer systems, can perform AK in tgof (which takes an immense amount of intent and magic) which he did with a wand that was NOT under his allegiance??? anddd is able to brew potions that are classes as dark magic? not in their league talent wise, or maybe his talents were meant elsewhere?? was he weak or was he just more dark than them naturally?? we know that dark magic calls to some wizards more so i don't think it was weakness in my opinion.

and i say 'lesser gryffindor' in quotation marks in point one there becauseee...

3) the hat stands by its decision

this is so often just forgotten but the hat insists that it's correct with pete's sorting (unsure if this is book canon, but jkr talks about it on pottermore which ik some people dont take as canon lore but i do. she's gotta fill her own plot holes somehow 🤷‍♂️)

BUT BASICALLY the hat claims that pete dying via his own silver hand is proof that he's a gryffindor because his conscious clearly disagrees with whatever he's done. debate that as you will because i'm not even sure how i feel about it??? i feel like it just doesn't match the perception of pete that i've built up here :/

like maybe he does regret it, i reckon he would. but i reckon it would be a bit complex thing between his bravery and self-preservation (but maybe his death is both. maybe his last act is a brave one based in some twisted backwards self-preservation. maybe the best thing he could do for him was end it, and that was a brave thing to do)

but the hat insists he's a gryffindor which adds SO much depth to his hatstall and just... him

OVERALL!!!

it just challenges the entireee notion of gryffindor vs. slytherin.

"there's not a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn't in slytherin" - we know that to be wrong obvs, pete. and we explore that a lottt with regulus and his deflection, a lottt with draco and narcissa, but not very often in depth with gryffindors, even harry and his deliberation with the hat.

i ADOREEE looking at pete in school as like... an actual marauder. being insecure that he doesn't fit in with them? yes absolutely. but i like to view more as an internal struggle with alllll of this rather than remus/james/sirius just being closer, yk?

oh my god this turned into a whole essay and i tried so hard to keep it brief. be glad this is the brief version. oh my god.

anyway. live laugh love peter pettigrew being a hatstall.

[bluecrocss]

Yap-Sesh number... Whatever: "Race-swapping", White supremacy, Misogyny, and Casting in Hollywood

Okay... so Tiktok kept trying to push clips of Walker Scobell and Mason Thames at Comic-con to me (I guess cuz I'm pretty active in pjo series fan spaces), and each time I would find myself quickly scrolling away or having no interest in seeing the clip.

And at first I thought, maybe it's because as much as i love Walker as Percy and as much as I think the cast are so adorable, I'm an adult and I'm not really one of his fan girls (for obvious reasons), so I'm not super interested in edits that are basically simping for him.

But the intensity with which I avoided these clips, I realized there was something else that was driving that feeling... it was resentment.

As you can see from my blog, I've invested a lot of time/energy pointing out the hypocrisy of the anti-blackness and backlash that has been thrown at Leah Jeffries for her casting as annabeth, as well as consistently coming to her defense against the bigots I've encountered on literally every social media site I've used. And I'm already pre-exhasuted knowing that I'm going to have to do the same thing for Nico Parker when the httyd movie comes out, despite the fact that she is just as white as Pete Wentz and more white than KJ Apa (who y'all had no problem with him dying his hair and playing canonically white Archie Andrews), the backlash she's going to get is insane and it's going to be a Leah Sava Jeffries situation all over again.

But when Zendaya or Jaz Sinclair or Amanadla Stenberg play fully black characters, with two black parents, you don't see the black community up in arms and losing our shit. But God forbid somebody who is 3/4s white play a white character and suddenly y'all wanna bring up the one-drop rule and start preaching about racial purity. You people are genuinely closet white supremacists.

Like...

The httyd movies might be based on aspects Scandinavian culture, but they aren't actually historically accurate to Norse (or "viking" as some of y'all like to call it) culture. It's like with Game of Thrones or D&D, the setting is inspired by real cultures but the contents are fantastical and don't require any "Ethnic accuracy" (what's that thing about white people can hold their disbelief for dragons but not POC in fantasy? 💀).

Which is crazy because NONE OF THE CAST (including the fully white actors) ARE ETHNICALLY SCANDINAVIAN. Furthermore, Mason Thames looks NOTHING like Hiccup. Hiccup is supposed to be an awkward, gangly nerd in the first movie and Mason Thames looks like a highschool Jock (which I don't mind. Cuz unlike y'all, I'm more interested in his acting and portrayal of the character).

Y'all did the same thing with Rachel Ziegler and snow white, who is in every way racially white and fair skinned, but y'all lost your shit because her mom is Colombian (news flash, Latinos can be white also. Ask Anya Taylor Joy). I think it goes beyond white supremacy though, y'all are also just misogynistic because when Keanu Reeves (half white) plays Jonathan Harker in Dracula, or Pedro Pascal (Latino) plays Joel and is in gladiator or Oscar Isaac (Latino) plays a welsh folk singer or a british noble or Mark-Paul Gosselar (Half-white) plays the iconically white all-american teen, Zack Morris for 5 years, it's suddenly not a problem.

Everytime y'all dogpile on a WOC actress like this, it's with this idea that they're getting an "unfair advantage". Hollywood is pushing it's "Woke agenda" and a hardworking white actress lost a role because a less-talented woc is "stealing" the spot. So you drag them in the name of "accuracy to the source material". But again, in 2024 71% of lead theatrical roles were played by white people and every other racial group made up 29%. Where is this hollywood woke agenda?

It's so funny, because it works the exact opposite because a WOC getting this kind of role is a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence, and then she's tokenized by hollywood for a few years and then left to dry.

I always think about how Jennifer Lawrence and Lupita Nyongo both had similar buzz when they first broke into Hollywood, and alot of people would put them at similar talent levels in terms of acting (I personally thing Lupita washes Jlaw, tbh). Yet over the course of their career, look at the quality of roles hollywood has offered each. Look at who hollywood pushed in the limelight over and over again.

When Percy Jackson and HTTYD are over, both Walker and Mason are going to get the hollywood white boy of the month treatment. Hollywood is going to try to make them leading men and put them in EVERYTHING. Like they did with Timothee Chalamet, Tom Holland, Chris pratt, Leo DiCaprio, even going back to James Dean in the 50s. And it's not to say that these men aren't talented, but it is the reality of where the bias lies in hollywood. Nico Parker, despite being a literal Nepo Baby, will never get the pure number of opportunities Mason gets, simply because MOST lead roles are written with white people as the default (keeping in mind that she is LITERALLY more white than she is black) and most lead roles still go to men.

It's just so unfair that these are young hard-working actors who have done nothing to y'all but because of pure racism and misogyny (that's what it is, even if you personally feel like it's not), look at the difference in the experience Leah and Nico have versus Walker and Mason. The difference in peace of mind. Feeling loved and supported vs being told you don't belong and you're not good enough. It's so reflective of real life for WOC and white men in general.

Everyone says they believe in "equality" and "hiring based on merit" and "representation is important", but most of y'all are lying. How are we ever going to get to point of actual equal representation in hollywood, when this is how white people act while they are STILL the majority? And don't say it's because of "race-swapping" because Amandla Stenberg has gotten racial backlash TWICE. Once when she played a character that was written to be black, but got backlash from white audiences because they had imagined the character white (and once again, the character was supposed to be fully black AND darker-skinned, but you didn't see black people losing our mind that she was being played by a light-skinned, biracial actor); and second in the acolyte, where she played a COMPLETELY ORIGINAL CHARACTER and still got racial abuse (yes, I have heard the show isn't very good, but the backlash started before it came out so save the gaslighting).

And for the Walker and Mason fans who are going to ignore the entire thesis of this post and interpret it as a hate-post towards your faves... this is literally a blog dedicated to the pjo live-action. I love Walker as Percy. He's seems like a really sweet kid and I'm glad he's getting all the recognition he's getting. And I love how supportive he's been of Leah. Same with Mason, he was great in Black Phone and I have no doubt he'll kill it in HTTYD. But would y'all ever give that level support or benefit of the doubt to their costars?

Also, also... for all the weirdos who are going to catch on the Rachel Ziegler example and say "oh it wasn't her race, she shit-talked the character" blah blah blah. No she didn't. Y'all took a few interview clips out of context and joined in on a misogynistic hate campaign from the anti-woke brigade like y'all did with Brie Larson. There was already backlash to her casting before she had even done a single interview. Why don't y'all save the hate for the literal Zionist that is playing the evil queen (apt title tho 🤔) instead?

[autobotgal2567]

~Detail I Noticed In An Earthspark Episode That I must Yap About~

(Yep, that's the title now. :>)

Just as a heads up before reading! Topic of discussion below contains:

☆Spoilers for Transformers: Earthspark

(Episode: Fire and Ice)

(Two Images, only warning for them is episode spoiler.)

☆Spoilers for Transformers (2007 Movie)

☆ Discussion of Canonical Character Death

(Three Images. Warnings are for spoilers and a character dying on screen. Technically it doesn't count as robo gore, I believe? Correct me if I'm wrong about that though. And I know for some the scene itself as a whole can still be pretty upsetting. Take care of yourselves 'kay?)

Actual yapping is below the line break. Please mind the warnings! And enjoy my brain hyper focusing on yet Another Oddly Specific Thing!

So, I've finally managed to catch up with the newest parts of Earthspark! Can safely say that while it's easy to notice where the writing had it's uh...stumbles, I still enjoyed it fairly well. Was bemused by the different plot lines, nodding along to the usual Malto Family shenanigans. Cheering when a certain Enforcer got his debut moment.

And then this episode pops up. Fire and Ice.

My eyebrows were doing jumping jacks so much during this one, I'll tell yah. Between the easter eggs/references and just genuinely surprising moments. But in a good way. I like that this show still gets me feeling so many Emotions.

One bit of dialog in particular is never going to escape me now though. The fact that I still had the urge to jump online and Yap about it even hours later made that very obvious.

What would that be?

VVV This. This moment right here. VVV

(Turned on Subtitles to verify dialog.)

...

You could definitely see the loading icon pop up above my head when I first heard that little tidbit. The type of trying to remember something mode that completely zones you out. Two seconds later, my silly little self gets BLASTED straight back down memory lane as I processed where I'd heard something similar before.

"Oh right, I remember now-"

...

"...ohh no I remember now."

VVV . . . VVV

(*...insert silently sitting in tears here.* This scene shocked me stunned when I first watched it. And nearing 18 years later it still gets me watery eyed.)

When I tell y'all I SCREECHED as the pieces clicked, I mean that so genuinely. Had to pause the episode and Contemplate Implications and everything. All while my cat padded over to sit and give me The Look for scaring her. (She was sitting on my blanket covered legs when said Incident occurred. Sorry Kitty :<)

So, here's where the main majority of my yapping comes in. Because now I absolutely must speak about this matter so my brain will stop running around it in circles.

So for starters, anyone who doesn't know what that scene directly above is or what's happening. That's the Bayverse/Live Action versions of Megatron and Jazz...interacting during one of the battle scenes in Mission City.

Megatron is the big bad scary looking one perching on that building like the world's most terrifying gargoyle. (It is most definitely perching by the by. His feet kind of act like talons in this scene and his 'wings' even tuck up against his back a moment before that shot.)

Jazz is the poor bot pinned by his legs under the big guy's foot before proceeding to get grabbed. Dunno what else Megatron might have been planning to do here. But once Jazz starts snarking and snarling at him before finally taking a few shots it quickly devolved into the moment shown above.

Megatron gets his 'two pieces' very literally and viciously swift. By tearing Jazz in two at the mech's waistline.

(Still haven't forgiven Bay for this particular character death mind you. Even as a kid I already loved Jazz during the little moments of screen time he did get. And now that I'm older I still wonder about what he could have added to the movies. ...then again considering the movie immediately after this one and how things continued to drop after they forced the trilogy to continue... eh, might have dodged a bullet there.)

Getting back on topic though. With those two scenes firmly in mind, I have proceeded to over analyze and over think whatever I could. And I wanted to share it with all of you! (Please do feel free to add on in tags/reblogs. I love to hear different takes on this kind of stuff.)

Firstly, characters in scene. What struck me the hardest was that the enraged jabs in the Earthspark scene are between Bumblebee and Prowl. Two bots who are commonly at least friends if not pretty close with Jazz across various Transformers continuites when shown together.

(The fighting that happens in this episode and especially the various arguments/words exchanged under the influence of The Rage Virus are a whole other essay I could write about. But not in this one.)

That factor of association because of other stories, shows ect lead my mind onto the second big thing I noticed during the exchange. The same question asked gets two very similar yet also drastically different responses. And also the detail of which bot is saying what.

Whereas in the movie the answer from Bay!Megatron is: "No. I want two."

In TFE, Prowl responded with: "No. I want the whole thing."

I don't know if I'm just reaching here or if one of those beautiful bastards on the writing team for that episode of TFE decided to give a nod with that line. But something in my brain definitely perked up and caught on because of that and is refusing to let go without giving it a thorough thinking on.

Just... The almost mirrored responses. The way Prowl's answer sounded just a little oddly worded until you Know what happened after the original. The tense situations, were one mech is pinned down under the other's foot. The fact that they swapped/changed that particular part of the answer. And that it's PROWL saying it??

ARGH-

Welp. That's all for now. Brain is running out of word steam. (Can you tell? 😅) But I hope I got my general rant across. Let me know what y'all think! I might expand on this more later!