#Not constant blaring into your mind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prkhaven · 4 days ago

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SWAN LAKE -s.jy-

A lazy body of water couldn’t stop the wave and downpour of love on you and the boy merely visiting for the summer

pairing— city boy!jake x fem!reader

genre: smut minors do not interact, first/second love au, angsty, fluffy, 2000s timeframe, p with plot, p with feelings, slice of life

wc: 13.4k

warnings: kissing, profanity, reader doesn’t do emotions well, jake is very sweet, just a lot of emotions, implied heartbreak, convenience store, mention of theft, swimming

smut warnings: unprotected sex, p in v, virginity loss, body worship, desperate and needy jake, oral (f rec.), fingering, dirty talk, praising, creampie, cock warming, usage of nicknames (baby, love, sweetheart, good girl, my girl)

One. Two. Three. Four.

You counted the raindrops from the air to the ground. Small drops landing on your shoulder, staining the material—dampening it to a different shade.

Rainfall was upon you and yet you couldn’t drag yourself away to seek shelter. Summer rainfall was the beauty of the season that was overshadowed by the blaring heat and clear skies.

Focusing on the beauty as the countless droplets fall from the sky, you heard the clamoring of people who ran, hands covering their head to protect their tanning lotion, sunblock, hair and makeup from it.

Smiling softly you stand from your crouched position and stretch your limbs that cheered to be freed from the pressure. While everyone was running in the opposite direction, you walked towards the body of water.

You see the constant ripples in it, how the additional water doesn’t affect the amount in the slightest, not a single change in it. Yet, a loud splash and the larger ripple caught your attention.

Taking yourself out from the daze to look around the surroundings, there was a male—soaked hair, flimsy T-shirt outlining his abs, a smile that made the gloomy day brighten, a laughter echoing through the crash of water.

Instead of swimming to shore, he swam deeper, his body stretching out and falling backwards, not caring if engulfed by the water. He jumped out and shook his head to spurt out the droplets around him.

He pushed back his hair and wiped his face from the falling rain and salty water, he squinted in your direction catching sight of you staring.

Your eyebrows jumped in shock but instead of repulsed. He waved happily over to you before extending out his arms, throwing his head back in the process to accept the rainfall falling on his skin.

The platters of rain on you didn’t bother you, even though they never did, it now felt like nothing because for the first time, someone else enjoyed it as much as you did.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

You threw the wet towel to the side, a relieved sigh escaping you after finally cleaning up from the shower fall. And yet, you can’t seem to get rid of the male haunting your mind.

Softly nibbling on your lip, you wonder who he was? You’ve never seen him before so naturally you’re curious but you push the thought away deeming it pointless for someone you’ll only see one time.

Walking to your kitchen only to find nothing in any cabinet, you sighed heavily, grocery shopping was happening sooner than you thought.

Left to grab the nearest shoes and keys, you peeked out the window to see the clearing skies, the sun beaming out and a faint rainbow casting in the skies.

You smiled before stepping out of the air conditioned home into the humid summer afternoon. You cringed at the feel on your skin despising it more than anything but having to look past it.

Not wanting to walk anymore in this climate you spot the closest store and see the door was wide open, a small fan perched on a chair outwards for any that walked in. When you stepped into the shop, you saw many fans pointed in all kinds of directions to cool down the burning up shop.

You looked around to see no one else in here but you. Knitting your eyebrows, you glanced around but shrugged your shoulders at the lack of anybody. You were a good person—you wouldn’t dare steal from a small business.

Grabbing a plastic basket just to get the essentials until you were able to properly go grocery shopping. You roamed around, a beauty in authenticity made your heart warm but when rounding the corner you jumped at the shout.

Jumping behind the aisle to hide yourself, you peek from behind to see the back of a male behind the counter and what seems to be a watery radio that he banged lightly before grumbling under his breath and placing the broken item on the counter.

He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through the fluffy locks as he pushed his hair back in annoyance, that is when you managed to catch a glimpse of his face and the plush pink lips he licked over.

Your eyes widened when your hand managed to slip causing an random object to fall to the floor.

A sharp whip of his turned to face you had you meekly squeak and hid even further behind the asiel in hopes he didn’t actually see you.

But the wishes were diminished when his voice echoed through the store, “Ah I’m sorry- I mean welcome to our store! If you need any help just let me know” He told through an accented voice you’ve never heard around town before

Paying close attention, you managed to catch the faint curse under his breath but instead of sticking around to respond, you turned back in the direction you came from and allowed your feet to carry you far away from him. There was a clenching feeling in your chest and you don’t know why you felt it.

It felt odd and tightening that you nearly couldn’t breathe properly—it was frustrating, just straight up annoying.

Gripping tightly at the basket you grabbed anything in sight and pushed them into your filling basket until you physically couldn’t put anything else in it without another item falling.

Hoping you spent enough time clearly enough for there to be a possible switch of employees behind the register would be an understatement but as you were walking up, the basket nearly fell from your arms when you were met with a much different smile than earlier in the day.

“Hi! I hope you found everything well-” He started as he straightened his posture but stopped when he recognized your face

The once kind and professional smile changed into the bright genuine one from a few hours ago, “Hey wait a minute you’re from the dock right? In the storm just a little bit ago?”

Your mouth opened but quickly closed to just nod in response. He chuckled softly and reached over to grab your basket and push the broken radio away to start scanning your items.

There was a moment of silence, only the sounds of the fan running, the soft beeps of the items before they were put into bags. You fiddled with your fingers out of sight and kept your head low until he spoke up again.

“The storm was pretty cool earlier huh?” The attempt at small talk was appreciated, you weren’t the best when it came to it but you vowed to work on it now so you awkwardly laughed and nodded

“Uh yeah it was” The response was short and sweet, the male’s eyebrows perked hearing your voice for the first time before he smiled even more which you didn’t think possible

“How come you were out during it? Pretty sure everyone was on the run to not get caught by it” He commented but you shrugged your shoulders and rubbed your arm

“Corny as it may sound, rain doesn’t bother me as much… Plus it’s just water, it’s not going to melt anyone away unless you’re a witch” You joked but quickly squashed your lips together and screwed your eyes closed embarrassed by the poor joke you made

You thought he wouldn’t laugh but instead he let out a giggle. Peeking open your eyes, you turn to face him as he covers his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes sparkling as he looked at you, laughing like he heard the funniest joke ever.

“Sorry that was good” He wiped fake tears away clutching his stomach, “But I wouldn’t be surprised if they already melted away because of the heat”

You scoff a quick chuckle while looking at him, remembering how he was swimming all by himself during it. “Is that why you decided to go swimming?” He repeatedly nodded his head at your question, proud of the fact that he did

“I wasn’t going to allow the rain to ruin my moment” He told before bagging the last items, “Plus it’s water mixed with water. You know what you get with that?” He leaned on his arms over the counter with a raise brow

Unable to trust yourself to speak coherently and not make a fool out of yourself, you slowly shake your head and he softly slams his hand against the counter, “Water! You get water” He laughed with a smile

You gulp down and pursue the corner of your mouth into an ‘o’ shape. Noticing the clear discomfort in the air, he clears his throat and leans back to sit on the wobbly stool but misses it entirely.

You gasp and peer over the counter to see him sitting flat on the ground, staring into oblivion. “Are you okay?!” You asked but had to stifle a laugh seeing his shocked expression

He rubbed his sides in a pained expression, he looked and saw how your hand covered your mouth. Forming his mouth into a fine line as his cheeks were beginning to hurt by how much he was smiling in the last few hours.

“Yeah stupid stool just needs to get fixed” A warm blush crossed his cheeks as he stood on his feet and dusted off his clothes

You watched his actions with a hand covering your mouth and he could tell you were holding back a laugh and you know he knew you were. The situation is amusing but neither of you wordingly acknowledged it. Merely looking at each other, a knowing smile on each of your faces.

Wanting to move on from the embarrassing moment, he looked past it and punched in the last numbers until the total number summed up. “Will you pay with cash or card today?”

“Interesting that you think anyone has card around here” You moved from the topic and you can see how he sighed to himself with closed eyes in realization

The town was not as advanced as the city, he was so accustomed to the new technology taking the world by storm that he didn't realize there were some that only heard of it through news.

“Right- Sorry” He jumbled but you waved him off and handed him the direct pricing to the cent and he was shocked, normally people would pay in a bigger bill and deal with the change but guess not you

Ripping and handing you the recipe with a smile, you grabbed it and stuffed it into a random pocket before grabbing the bags into your hand and arms. “Thank you. Have a great day…” You narrowed your eyes to read his crooked name tag, “Jaeyun” You finished your sentence with a quick smile

“Oh you can just call me Jake!” He shouted but you had already turned around and walked out the opened door

But assuming you didn’t hear him when there was no response or even reaction from you. He stood awkwardly behind the counter, he hadn’t said a word of goodbye to you and you were already walking out with full arms and hands of bags.

Cursing under his breath, he tapped his finger against the peeling counter, he looked around and nibbled in his bottom lip.

Without much thought left, he quickly shouted in hopes someone heard him that he would be taking 5 and to look over the store as he rushed from behind and went out the door.

The heat from the inside of the store didn’t compare to the humidity of the outside. He huffed and blinked his eyes, a hand extending out to block the shining sun from sight as he searched for you.

That’s when he spots you less than 20 yards away. Surely he didn’t expect you to move hastily with bags at hand but he stood correct.

While you were walking, you heard rapid footsteps coming from behind. Your eyebrows creased in the middle as you tried to turn around but nearly lost your balance at the running person in your direction.

Letting out a shriek and your bags nearly flailing from your arms only to be stopped by a hand keeping your arms in place. You jerk at the sight of Jake, the employee you just saw not even 5 minutes ago, holding your arms from launching the bags.

“What the-” You start but he cuts you off

“Sorry! Sorry! It’s just that I noticed you were carrying a lot of bags and I wanted to help you” He quickly explained himself when he noticed the lack of words from you

You eye him up and down in confusion even still the weight from your arms lessened when he grabbed the majority of the bags into his own hold. “I can manage plus don’t you have a store to watch after?” You question but show no efforts to stop him

Jake cheekily smiled and shook his head, “I got someone to cover me plus who is going to steal from such a small business. It would only look bad on the person who would idiotically decide to rob us”

“Wouldn’t you be the idiotic one for leaving the store unattended?” Your question made Jake blink rapidly at you before shaking his head with a small ‘nah’

While you denied not needing the help, you didn’t mind it. You just didn’t want to have to tell him you told him so.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

While you indirectly in fact tell him so, Jake was okay with the sacrifice made.

After dropping off the bags at your place, he expected a possibility of an exchange in numbers of any kind. But you only gave him a grateful smile and bid him on his way.

At least you gave him your name at the end of it all, in his mind that was a foot in the right direction for whatever he was trying to achieve because when he ran all the way back to the store he saw the knocked down fan and the door closed.

His shoulders slumped when he stepped in and saw the racks of ice cream missing, meaning one thing. The store did in fact get robbed but not even of money just of ice cream to beat the summer heat.

He knew he was going to hear it but he would cover it with what he yelled instead of asking that he was taking 5 which happened to bleed into 15 minutes of straight silence with you with the exception of some small talk here and there.

But when helping you with the groceries, Jake realized a few things during the walk. One, you didn’t really talk much and when you did it was short responses. Two, he doesn’t really know why he was doing all of this. Three, while you didn’t seem to mind him there, you did in fact acknowledge him.

And last and not least, he felt a fluttering in his chest whenever he looked in your general direction. While he may be oblivious to some things, he knows when someone piques his interest.

And seeing you standing at the dock while he was swimming, a look in your eyes he couldn’t explain made him think. Jake could only wonder what was held behind those eyes. There was something he didn’t understand and yet, he wanted to so badly.

Lightly groaning, pushing his head into the crevice on his arm, he jumped at the ting of the door opening. He shot up right and cleared his throat, wrinkling out his outfit while craning his neck to see who just walked in. A spike in his heart rate didn’t ease the nerves jittering within, he helplessly hoped that it was you.

Maybe you needed to buy something else or wanted to give him any type of form to contact you but was just too scared to do so at first but grew the courage to give it too late and deci-

Knocked out of the daze at the same thump on the counter, he looked down on the counter to see an ice cream bar, perching slightly over the counter to see a little girl smiling up at him, a dollar crumbled in hand.

Jake sighed in disappointment but also relief before replacing the frown with a smile before scanning the item.

“Hot summer huh?” Deciding to make small talk to which the little girl nodded her head and placed the bill out for him

Grasping the crumbled bill, he straightened it out and saw that was all she had. While the ice cream was a dollar and 78 cents, he decided to hand back the bill to her which she was confused about. “It’s on me, don’t want to melt away from the sun right?”

The girl accepted the cash back and beamed up at Jake, “Thank you Mister!”

She ran along out the store without a glance back and he smiled softly before sitting back on the stool. It might not be good for business after losing said ice creams to thieves—but nothing beats helping someone.

“That was kind of you” The soft perk of your voice nearly made him topple off the stool again but he managed to catch himself and stand up in shock to see you in the shop again

”You’re back-” His voice squeaked and he cleared it to change the tone, “I mean you’re back”

There was no reaction to the deeper change of his tone but you didn’t walk away which must mean something good right? “What brings you back here?”

You place a jug of water on the counter, “Forgot the thing I need most” But to your shock, he pushes the water back to you scanning it

“Feeling generous today?” You raise an eyebrow which he shrugged, a cheeky smile that didn’t show his teeth

“Isn’t that bad for business?” The comment different from your action while you grab the jug in your arms, Jake’s hand flexed at his sides as he watched you carried the jug but shook his head to rid the thought

“Already got robbed today don’t think business could get any worse” Your eyebrows jumped at his words while you stared at him shock

When you made the comment earlier, you weren’t actually wishing for it to exist. The world or more so the universe had a weird way of casting words into existence, picking and choosing which to listen to and which to deny the luxury of.

Your mouth moved around before resting in a thin line. You opened your mouth but Jake cut you off, “I know, I know you told me so” He heavily sighed but you didn’t say anything

He looked at you waiting for a response but you only stared at him before turning a heel and walking out the now closed store door. Standing in shock by the moment, his eyes remain on where you once stood—now gone.

Something clicked in his head and his leg began to move on its own as he left behind the counter. However, a curt call of his name made him freeze and he slowly turned around to see two people staring at him, arms folded and a displeased look written on their face.

Opting to awkwardly laugh and hunch his shoulder with hopes of disappearing into nothing, he really was going to hear but unfortunately it wasn’t from you.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

The sun was setting, casting a beautiful hue over the horizon. Jake stretched out his arms behind him taking a deep breath to allow himself to get lost in thought and soak in the atmosphere he’s still not used to.

It was only the beginning days of summer and yet, he’s already enjoying it far much more than what he originally had planned with friends across the valley. Unsure if it were for the ability to spend time away from the suffocating nature of people, able to see old faces that he hasn’t seen in so long, or if it was for the encounter of a new face he can’t see to stop thinking about.

Whatever the case may be, he’s enjoying life—in ways he has never done before.

“Jake” At first he thought he was hallucinating, he must really be going mad because now he was dreaming of your voice

Rapidly shaking his head, “Not going to get me today brain” He called out but he shot open his eyes with another call of his name

Whipping his head back, he froze at the sight of you standing on the dock. His mouth fell slack trying to accumulate proper words to form a coherent sentence but nothing came out.

“What are you doing here?”

Jake fumbled his words before meekly responding, “Decided to get some sun”

“During sunset?” Realizing the logistics behind his words didn’t make sense, lightly groaning in embarrassment, a warm blush casting over his cheeks but he tensed up when you motioned for him to move

Quickly abiding to your wordless actions, he scoots to the side enough for you to plop yourself beside him. You let out a satisfied sigh and stretched your legs in front of you, Jake not moving his attention off of you.

“Do I have something on my face?” You remarked but he quickly shook his head and cleared his throat to rid the awkward silence

While you looked ahead at the body of water, Jake snuck glances every now and then towards you. Choosing to ignore the prying gaze and the question eyes pooling out of him as much as possible but you could only ignore it so much.

Sighing heavily, you adjusted yourself before crossing your legs over the other, “So did you get caught in the end?”

Jake whipped his head fully towards you with wide eyes, you weren’t a person of many words and yet, whenever you started the conversation he was willing to run with it. Running a hand over his face in excuse of pushing his hair back when he was concealing his smile.

“Yeah I did” Jake rubs the back of his nape, “There was no escaping my parents with that one”

This time you were the shocked one which must’ve been noticeable when he chuckled and nodded his head, “Yeah my parents own the store ever since they moved here”

“Told me they wanted to get away from the city life and live peacefully and they choose out here”

“So what are you doing out here?” You question realizing why you had never seen him out here before, he hums before pushing himself off his arms to sit up straight

“I hadn’t seen my parents ever since they moved here and decided this summer might be the best shot to see them and so here I am” He extends his arms out in a laugh but it didn’t crack a smile in you

Awkwardly retracting his arms back clearing his throat in the process, he glances over to the glimmering water and admires the crystallization. The body of waters that he sees where he lives don’t look like this, they’re too clouded with dirt to shine brightly. If people allowed themselves to thoroughly take time to care for it, there can be beauty.

“We call it swan lake” You softly point out and he furrows his brows, he knew the story of the shared name

A gust of wind brushes past and you softly hummed enjoying the way it crashes against your burning body, “This lake has witnessed passion, sadness, and misfortune”

Jake turned away from the water to you after the mellow tone of your words. Your eyes looked ahead and yet clouded with an emotion he couldn’t begin to decipher, it ached his heart for some reason.

“Then it must have experienced happiness, greatness and love no?” Your face contorted in the choice of wording, a complete opposite from yours

Looking over at him to already find him looking at you, his mouth pressed against his shoulder, very poorly hiding his soft smile, “When there’s misfortune then surely there is greatness that would follow after”

The corners of your lips tugged downwards before correcting it into a thin line and yet right when he was going to speak again a swoosh sound caught your attention.

Your mouth slightly falling agape while Jake felt a jut inside of him. A soft ripple formed in the water as a single swan landing in the distance.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

You don’t attempt to look for Jake but somehow he always appears. Whether you’re taking a walk down the pier or merely stepping outside to admire the rainfall that everyone shies away from, he always seems to be in the distance, smiling warmly and waving his hand in an attempt to be seen.

While you always do see him, you turn away and ignore his existence. Each time you look away from him, his chest caves in itself but he covers it by maybe you didn’t see him even though you stared directly into his eyes.

So stepping into the same shop close to your place, you expected to see him but instead you saw the familiar face of his parents chatting behind the counter. They stop when they hear the ding of the opening door and plaster a kind smile.

However, it grows when it is registered that it was you. Arms extend out as they motion you over to them. Now knowing that these were Jake’s parents, you begin to see the resemblance. The knowing bright smile, the naturally opening and comforting nature, it made sense why Jake seemed to be the way he is.

It clicks in your head the few times when they would talk about their son who is studying hard and beyond them and how they couldn’t be more proud of the person he is turning out to be. All this time they were talking about Jake.

Your nails dig into the flesh of your palm as you awkwardly shuffling to them, watching you with pitiful eyes.

You nibbled at the plush of your bottom lip weakly giving them a smile, “Hi hon are you doing?” The question meaning to be lighthearted and yet, it felt like a heavy tug on your heart strings

Only nodding your head not trusting yourself to say anything else to show that you were doing well. Unconsciously, your eyes roam around the store, “Searching for something?”

Snapped out to the quick daze, you blinked harshly and shook your head. You weren’t sure why you even came here or what you were searching for to begin with.

The comforting saddening gaze emitted from them to you leaning to a churning feeling within your stomach. You open your mouth to say something but they beat you to it.

“We never got to tell you personally but we are sorry about what happened with-”

”It’s fine” You were quick to rebuttal the sentiment, “Actually I have to go, if you’ll excuse me” Deflecting harsher than intended you felt sorry for the abrupt lash out but your body moved on its own and saw yourself out of the store

Unbeknownst to you, Jake rounds from the wall he was hiding behind and looks at his parents in confusion when they sigh sadly at your disappearing figure.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

There were too many questions and thoughts in his head and not enough answers but he didn’t wish to hear it if not from you—well only if you’re daring to tell him.

Jake fanned himself with the nearest newspaper to kill the heat. He knew as time went on and proceeded deeper into the summer months, the heat would only get worse. Yet, having to live off of fans in the store as it took nearly forever for the air conditioner to work again, felt like utter torture.

But what made it worse was that he hasn’t seen you this past week. No matter how much he turned his head, you never appeared. He curses at himself for hiding instead of showing himself the last time you were in the store. The conversation was just far too intriguing that he felt like if he showed up, it would make matters worse.

Now it wasn’t known whether it would’ve or not, he would never know since he never dared to move from his spot. Cowardly is what he would say if you asked him.

His body ached more than he would like to admit from sitting and standing. Even his cheekbones were starting to hurt from the constant fake and kind smiles he’s been doing but his mind was in shambles.

He knew that he could merely ask his parents about you and they would tell but it felt wrong. It didn’t feel right that he would learn about you if it’s not you telling him directly to his face. While he doesn’t really believe in spirituality, he sure as hell doesn’t know what was casted upon him.

Every waking moment he experienced had thoughts of you. He didn’t want to be rash with what this could mean even after having to sneak into his parent’s room for the only computer available to search up what it could mean for it to be in bold letters, ‘You like her!’

It’s not like he wouldn’t believe that he does. You’re pretty no denying that but you had a mysterious sense that drew him in and seeing you that day, your eyes following the small raindrops just before the storm came. While everyone remained clueless, you knew what was to come.

And when everyone ran away, you stayed.

He sighed loudly and weakly kicked his hanging feet as he shook his head but his act dropped to be replaced with professionalism when the ding of the door opened. He straightened out his posture and stood on his feet, “Welcome” He weakly called out

A few days prior he would’ve searched to see if it were you but it was tiring to be met with disappointment when it wasn’t. He did know where you lived after helping you take your groceries but he was not going to show up unannounced.

“Still no AC?”

Jake stared at you with wide eyes and you placed two jugs of water this time on the counter. His jaw fell slacked not believing his eyes, quick to rub them harshly and blink before repeating it until you didn’t fade away.

It’s you? It’s you. This time it's finally you.

“I-I uh-” Words were not spewing the way he wanted to but he gulped down the lump and laughed

The smile not forced and but instead true like you could even tell, “Guess not since you’re sweating up a storm” You murmur, hands pocketed into your pants and tapping fingers against your thighs

“Right… Right! Yeah no AC still” He grabbed the jugs and slowly scanned them not wanting to rush time, it wasn’t known when the next time he will see you

“Hot summer huh?” You point out and he stopped midway scanning to look at you

You stare at him in unease when he just stopped, looking around the store to see what promoted this reaction. Left to fiddle with your nape while you waited for him to respond. He quickly realized that he was staring and not saying anything, he mentally cursed and chuckled.

“Yeah, definitely not used to this” Handing you the total price and you take out the exact number in bills and cents and paid for the two items

Cashing them he printed out your receipt and handed it which you were quick to grab. While your face remained unphased his contorted while his heart leaped when his hand brushed against yours.

“Bye Jake” You bid him goodbye and walk out the store before he could say anything else

Standing there staring into oblivion he managed to snap himself out of it and stumbled over his feet to rush out the door without much thought, he yelled ‘be back in 10’ in hopes someone heard him as he left the store unattended once again.

As you were walking, you held the two waters in your arms. The sun beaming down that you closed your eyes and inhaled softly, humidity was gone, it was merely the sun and clear skies.

But your eyes fluttered open when you heard the shout of your name, you turned around to see Jake rushing to you. Deja vu hits you like a wash and you stop in your tracks and take a step back when he pants in front of you. He gulps harshly with heavy breaths to regulate himself after running for less than 5 minutes under the sun.

The sweat trickled down the side of his face to his chin to hand before dropping to the ground. Naturally glowing just by himself, he shined even more than ever before. His chest rose and dropped as he finally caught his breath.

“What happened?” You raise an eyebrow but to your shock he raises up the bright orange paid stickers

He stares at you before peeling off two stickers and putting them on the jugs, “Forgot to put the stickers on them” He softly smiled at his simple work

Knowing Jake somewhat through the time you spent with him, never once did he use that whenever you or anyone else for that matter bought something, nor was it ever used before he took over.

You looked at him and caught his gleeful gaze on you, his eyes sparkled like they held the universe in them. “Are you going to the get-together tonight?”

He jerked his head back at the question but instead of dwelling on it, he shook his head no. “Someone has the watch the shop, plus my parents told me this is my punishment for leaving the store unattended”

“I thought you already faced the consequences?”

“Yeah I’m talking about the one that I am going to get when I go back right now” He chuckled but stopped when another faint one for that manner joined his as well

You were smiling softly as soft laughter came from you. His gaze zeroed in on you, everything else fading to nothing. This was the first time he had seen you smile like that or even laugh at the manner.

It was beautiful. You were beautiful.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

Clamoring and happy people were wandering around, all excited and heading to the get together that was held frequently during the summer. Jake watched everything through the windows, his own parents bidding him goodbye as they made their way out.

He pursed his lips into a pout, his chin resting at the palm of his hand. The talks of this gathering even coming from you made him feel like he was missing out.

Kicking the counter in front of him in annoyance—he thrives in this type of environment and yet, he’s casted away to attend the shop after leaving it unattended once again.

He sighs heavily with shoulders slouched, no one would going to be coming in here anyway what’s the po-

His thought process was disrupted when you peeked through the door before fully opening it and placing the nearest item to allow the cold night breeze to sway in. Jake’s jaw dropped when you waved at him and stepped into the store.

Your attire is different from what you usually wear. It was more open despite the temperature dropping for the night, the weak artificial light glowing behind you casted a outline over you. Each step you took snapped his heart.

“Wha- Aren’t you supposed to be going to the gathering?” He asked clearly confused on why you were there but when you grabbed a random item and placed it down on the counter, you didn’t say anything

“And what makes you think I’m not going?” You knit your eyebrows making Jake hold the item at hand to mentally curse at himself for thinking you were coming for him

He played with the back of his hair and chuckled, “Right! Don’t know what I was spewing”

“Think the heat is finally getting to me”

The coverup was poor and weak, you moved your mouth around as he rang up the item and you paid in total with no need of change. Grabbing the item, you leaned on your arms, “Do you always leave the store unattended or is it just once in a blue moon?”

Jake looked at you wondering why you were lingering around but instead of questioning it, he took whatever he could get. He shook his head and sighed, “Just once in a blue moon”

You softly hummed and nodded your head before turning your back on the counter but resting your arms on it, “Do you have an extra chair? My feet are already killing me”

While it didn’t fully register in his mind, Jake jumped and rustled to give you one. Quietly thanking him while focusing on the greater matter that you were staying with him. “So what happens during these gatherings?” Jake decided to break the ice, his body hovering on air in the motion of a chair

“Nothing. It’s just everyone getting together and talking, seeing what’s up with the latest drama amongst everyone twice a month for the entire summer season” You explain but there was an underlying hint in the way you told it to him

He watched as your hands gripped the counter, the soft scratches against it marking your concealed emotions, your jaw clenching while you admired outside through the open door. “How come you’re not going?”

”Don’t need the whole town having their eyes on me more than what they already do when I’m walking down the street” You sigh in a breath but he was taken back, searching over your expression for anymore hint on what you were talking about came up negative

You maintained a neutral face, a facade that seemed to slip every now and then only to be replaced with what you show everyone.

“It looks like it’s going to rain soon” Jake points out the clouding skies to move on from the topic

You merely shrug your shoulders not ultimately caring but a gratitude felt for his efforts in not questioning you. “Hey I have an idea” Your interest was peaked when you heard the playful tone

Finding yourself running soaked by the downpour, a held back laughter as you ran through the night shower, Jake ahead of you with his arms extended out before reaching behind—offering his hand for you.

You looked between the offer and him, a thump pounding in your chest made you scared but before being able to dwell on it any longer, your hand hesitatingly reached out and clasped your hand in his. Soft calloused hands dragged you alongside him as you both random the empty street, the moonlight beaming through the gray clouds.

While everyone ran in the directions for shelter, you and Jake ran in the opposite direction. Unknowing or more like uncaring of the peering eyes towards you both, for the first time it felt right. Not like old times where you felt stranded alone—This time someone enjoyed this like how you did.

At the shop, a crippling wet note tapped hurriedly on the door, ‘Closed for the night! P.S- sorry mom and dad’ but at the sight of you and Jake disappearing off into the night, hand in hand, maybe it wasn’t bad leaving him at the store that night.

leading and diving head first into the said ‘swan lake’ was not what you anticipated to do with Jake. However, once submerged in the water you brought yourself to the surface in a lost gasp. Searching around there was no sight of the male with you.

Your heart hammered as you called for his name louder each time, you swished past the water in hopes of sight of him despite the pouring rain. Suddenly you yelled when arms wrapped around your waist and tackled you.

Turning around in haste at the sound of Jake’s laughter, “You scared me!” This was the first time you had ever raised your voice loudly in a while

He continued to laugh while you swatted him away, “It’s not funny” You tried to stand your ground but he continued to giggle until it finally came to a stop

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” He wiped the fake tears away and pushed his hair back in a smile, “But I’m okay”

You huffed and push at his chest to get out of the lake but he grabs your wrist to stop you, “Woah hold on I’m sorry I’m sorry” Jake apologized profusely and turned you to face him

The hard glare you sent him made the straight face grow into a smile which you rolled your eyes at but before being able to rebuttal anything Jake pulled at your arm deeper into the water.

Your eyes widened as he swam each stroke a laugh emitted from him, nothing seemed to bother him. A thump in your chest grew more while wiping your face off of the droplets on them. When he turned around and extended a hand for you, your insides twisted in themselves and squeezed like you were underwater.

“I’m right here with you” Those words never uttered to you before, not even when you were in your supposed happiest

A flick switched and nerves coursed through you as you slowly swam to him. Jake watched your every move and his breath hitched when you swam past his hand straight to be in front of him.

His eyes reflected the cloudy moonlight, the raindrops surrounding you and rippling across the valley. Hands reached up to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb creasing your cheek softly, gaze softening the more he looked at you. Even under the night sky, you shone brightly like the day he first saw you.

“Jake” He weakly hummed when you called his name, not truly responding, too in enamored to register anything other than you

Unsure of who leaned into who first but your hands gripped his wrist and gripped onto him, eyes scrunched together only to flutter them open when he pecked your cheek instead.

You pulled away to squint at his softened face, his hand hovered over your eyes to block the downpour. “Did I tell you that you look lovely this evening?”

Your mouth opened and closed, eyes traveling everywhere, his face unsure how to respond but he stroked your head softly, tilting his head to the side showing a toothy smile, “May I take you out..? Please”

𓂃 ོ𓂃

The air from the on-going fans weren’t cutting it anymore, choosing to fan yourself instead in hopes of calming down the burning nerves which in reality did nothing to do so.

Nervously rocking between your feet while you stand behind the counter adjusting your clothing to free yourself of dust you were oblivious to creeping person behind you until a voice knocked you out of your daze, “You look beautiful hon”

Slightly jumping, you turn around to see Jake’s mother smiling softly at you while walking into the store, an arm behind her back—something out of sight, you bashfully smile at the compliment and hang your head low while rubbing a hand over your arm.

“You know when Jake told us while running around complaining how he didn’t pack a single item that would be worthy enough for a date, we thought he had gone crazy” His mother began while lightly chuckling, “But when he mentioned you, we understood”

Your shoulders tensed but the burning in your cheeks grew nibbling softly on your bottom lip to conceal the faint smile daring to show. “I can’t lie that I wasn’t shocked to hear that you were going on a date and also a little nervous but right now I feel more happy than anything”

She sighed heavily patting your shoulders in hopes of a comfort which easily eased your hunched up shoulders. “I know how you were after he who shall not be named left without a word but…”

“I know my son like I know the back of my hand so trust me when I say this” She gazed upon you in the corner of her eye to stand in front of you, dropping her hand in the process, “He may know love but he has never fallen in love before—not in the way he has fallen for you”

“Mom have you seen the flowers I set-” You heard Jake while he walked into frame only to stop dead in tracks when he sees you

He wore a white shirt underneath a blue button up tucked into dark blue trousers, the sleeves folded up his veins tracing from his hand up to his forearms. His hair slicked to the side that exposed his forehead just enough and a bracelet wrapped around his wrist.

Cliche as it may sound but it felt like slow motion when his mouth quivered before forming into a shy smile, his hand rubbing the back of his nape while walking over to you, “Seems like your date is ready” She whispered before walking backwards not turning her back to you

Your brows furrowed but when Jake grabbed the bouquet of flowers into his hand, a smile of your own formed. When it was only you and Jake left, he extended out the bouquet, “I’m allergic to flowers” His face morphed into terror and took back the flowers but you giggled and grabbed them from him, “I’m kidding, they’re beautiful”

A wave of relief washed over him while you admired the flowers, his gaze heartily watching you only to be caught. He coughed and diverted his gaze away with a heat on his cheeks, “Thank you Jake”

“Let’s head out?” He offered a hand to grasp and hesitantly you shakily put yours into his while he intertwined your hands together

Allowing yourself to be guided down the familiar road, a comfortable silence bestowed upon you left to admire the growing sunset in the distance. Jake’s thumb creased the back of your hand and tightened his grasp around it while sneaking glances and smiling at you.

Returning the gestures until you took into account the familiar pathway, “Jake are you…” You cut yourself when the dock at the lake came into view

Decorated with fairy lights across made pillars that weren’t there before, a patterned cloth set and held down by shining rocks painted with a glitter that made them sparkle, and a candle-lit at the edge of the dock. You sucked in a breath when Jake let go of your hand and allowed you to walk first.

Looking around your heart churned and fluttered to face back at him, the sunset casting a golden hue upon him while gracefully smiling at you, his eyes softening even more.

Jake’s heart was thumping out of his chest, seeing you standing there, the sunset behind you and his entire efforts bestowed before you while you gripped the flowers he personally picked out and created were a dream he never imagined coming.

But now you were his unexpected dream come true.

𓂃 ོ𓂃

Your face scrunched as you laughed at something Jake had said. He giggled, covering his mouth while leaning his body forward while you reached your front door step, which he told time and time again he wanted to walk you back.

In front of your door, you and Jake simmered down the giggles to nothing. While you looked at the floor, he looked at you. You exhale heavily and lift your head up in a gleam. Your gaze flickered from his eyes down to his mouth for a split second.

Not being discreet like you thought you were, Jake quickly picked up on it but brushed past it deeming his mind messing with him. He opened his arms like a welcome invite that you closed away only to open back up into something new, raw, fresh. All because of Jake.

Engulfing his arms around you, your arms lay at your sides, hands twitching at the baggy button up before gripping the material. It may not have been much in your eyes but to him, it was more than enough. He smiled in the hug and when he started to pull away—the warmth disappearing leaving you to panic, selfishly you didn’t want it to end.

With Jake’s head turned, you awkwardly reached in to peck his cheek like how he did to you. What failed to be accounted for was the fact he would turn his head back to speak.

You landed your lips onto a soft plush, you pulled back to be faced with Jake’s surprised face. A horror washed over, loudly gasping you covered your mouth spewing endless apologies.

There was no response or any movement from Jake for that manner, he remained frozen in place, blinking every now and then as he stared into oblivion with his arms still wrapped around you.

Your hands pressed at his chest, ignoring the firmness of them to push him away but he tightened his hold while shaking his head roughly. “Hey wait no it’s okay. I don’t care- I don’t mind at all. Do it again actually”

“What-” You tried to collect your thoughts when the soft plush landed on your lips again but failed to do when you instantly melt in the kiss

Shaky hands grasp his cheeks and Jake holds his hand over yours, his calloused one creased yours while focusing on the greater aspect, that he was now kissing you. Something he never believed to experience.

Moving his head just enough to grasp yours, he felt like fireworks were blaring off in the distance.

Pulling your arms over his shoulders while his hands rest at your waist, never breaking lip contact once. He wouldn’t dare to do so now that he’s gotten a taste of it. Rubbing his thumb in a circular motion in order to ease the shake within your body. “You okay?” He asked within the kiss

But instead of replying, you pressed deeper, shutting his mouth to prevent less talking. An urge taking over you that you were once afraid to take but with Jake felt natural.

He held you, tight fingers digging into your side to keep you rooted into place. He was soaring through the sky—in the deep end. The lack of oxygen made you light headed but you continued on. It didn’t bother either of you, saliva messily mixing together, your teeth and tongue clashing every now and then in spurts of air before getting sucked back in.

While Jake pulled away with a heavy pant, you weakly chased after his lips to reconnect them but he softly giggled at the attempt. You fluttered open your eyes and breathlessly said, “Jake”

His cheekbones were hurting by how much he was smiling and yet, he couldn’t stop. Continuing his endless fit of giggles, it prompted your own because of the brightness it omitted during the night sky. Jake’s head began to loosen and you were worried the light and warmth would disappear to never return again.

Quickly you grab his biceps to let him continue to hold you. He froze when you looked up at him with a shaky in eyes and a quivering bottom lip, “Stay the night” You rushed out to stay not properly comprehending what you were asking for

His heart dropped and the smile faltered while his expression morphed into shock. You were afraid that it wasn’t the right choice of words and that all chances were ruined but instead of being questioned he softly nodded his head, “Okay” He breathlessly whispered

This time you were the surprised one not believing he would agree and yet, your heart roared.

Bringing Jake inside your place felt different. It wasn’t to help you take your grocery in or for any other reason but you inviting him in.

Taking his hand and not letting go after kicking off your shoes to guide him to your room and slip into bed, sheets covering the both of you pulling and emptying the tiny space in between to nothing. He draped an arm around your waist, his head resting on your shoulders while he circled his thumb on your skin.

There was a moment of silence that a pin drop could be heard, which it was. A light summer rainfall began, the droplets hitting your window casting a soft pattering sound while the shadows of the raindrops filled around the room. You stared at the shadows and softly sighed which garnered his attention.

While he didn’t make a sound, you could feel his question. You blinked around your room before using a hoarse voice to speak not wanting for it to crack while you talk, “Jake I’m not who you might think I am”

You curled your body inwards forgetting how his arm held you but he mimicked your motions. The way you caved in, he caved with you.

“I’m- It’s not- I’m not easy. This isn’t something to be fixed overnight” You mumbled that if he weren’t paying attention he would’ve missed it, you opened your mouth to continue but Jake cut you off before you could say anything more

“Look at me” You refused to turn around and face in worries of making it real but he wanted it to be

Softly tugging to have you face him, you didn’t put up much of a fight. Landing on your back until able to properly face him on your side, choosing to divert your gaze down. He took a moment to take you in before he lifted your chin up. “Please look at me”

Jake wanted to be seen by you and when you carefully took the chance to raise your gaze up and look into his, he felt his heart rate racing, the pad of his thumb creasing your skin with a fond smile. None of the other emotions besides care.

“Look you don't have to tell me now or ever if you don’t want to. I don’t care about your past because all I care about is now” He starts off, “And right now you are you, right here with me. Not who you were in the past with whomever or whoever you will be in the future. Just you right now”

He lightly chuckled while retracting his hand from you, “Plus what made you think that I want something easy or even attempt to fix you”

“There’s nothing to be fixed because you were never broken to begin with”

“You’re perfect the way you are”

You let out a shaky breath, your heart beating loudly that you swore Jake could hear it from where he was laying. You shuffled closer into his embrace, a warmth that was never provided before until seeing him swimming when it was raining.

A person like you with their own twist to life that differs from yours. A point of view that you had never seen through before and yet, he gave it up for you without even being asked to.

You raised your head just high enough to place a peck on his forehead, he giggled softly when you did so. When the moment was right, he leaned you back, his head hovering yours. Eyes bore into yours in search of an answer.

Nervously nodding your head with the faint words, “Kiss me” Uttered from you were more than enough to land your mouths together

The kiss is different from the first, a more gentle approach. His hand never leaves your waist only to loosen up to travel it higher up your side, tracing up your neck.

Fiddling with the back of his hairs, you tugged softly at the fluff of it igniting a soft moan directly into your mouth. Drinking up the sound there was a dizzying effect taking over whilst it was unclear of what it entailed, something in your heart knew it was right.

“Please” A weak breath plead that rang through Jake’s mind like an echo, he pulled away from the chaste kiss to look at you

Eyes looking up at him, a nervous but certainty in them that ran a shiver down his spine. Hands trailed through his hair, racking them through the slot of your fingers in an attempt to stabilize. He gulped down harshly, “Please what love?”

“I need you” Three words that managed to switch something in his mind, a desire grew tenfold without being able to be stopped, the rationality thrown out at the window to be forgotten of

Not having to be told twice, he crashed his lips back to yours. Your legs pried opened and welcomed him while situating himself in between, laying his body upon you.

Your hands growing more intagled into the fluff of his hair, hiking up your leg while the kiss grew more feverish, bodies contorting to each other in order to accommodate the new position.

Jake grew lost in the sense of you, lack of oxygen making him lightheaded but you were making him more lightheaded than anything. He chased after your mouth when you broke it not wanting to end it yet.

So he decided for the second choice, he messily planted kisses at your cheek down to your neck, soft whispers into your ear, “You’re perfect”

You withered under his hold only to wait as he brushed his mouth into the crevice of your neck and nipped the skin making you squeal. You felt his smirk against your skin and you tugged at his hair in a warning to not say anything which he brushed past.

The hands that gripped his hair fell to his shoulder as he softly sucked on the unblemished skin. Wishing to taint it with him, Your hands gripped tightly when he teeth gritted the skin to run a tongue over it to soothe to burn.

Weakly calling his name, he hummed in response but your moans were his answers. The hands at your sides began to slip down until tugging softly at the hem of your shirt. Softly threading up exposing your skin from the fabric to run the cold slender hands up making you shiver.

Your back arched when he tugged down at your bra to have enough space for him to clasps it off. Working on detaching himself from your neck, Jake pulled away to untuck his button his shirt as hastily as possible.

Copying the rush, you carefully removed your shirt and bra in one go failing to notice the hard gaze he had while watching you. Your attention was brought back to him when he peeled off his upper wear that exposed the linen abs that traced perfectly, the wide back and broad shoulders, and formed bulging biceps when he leaned down to attach his mouth to yours.

Gasping in shock at the desperation but melting right into the kiss, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip to be welcomed back into your mouth. Shaky hands reached your before grasping at your breast, you opened your mouth to gasp and whine when he tugged at your hardening nipple.

“Just the way you are. Perfect. Perfect” He blabbed against your lips before kissing down your chin, down the center of your neck to the crevice of your breast

You peeked down to see how he looked up at you already. Licking your swollen lips, you nod at the silent question he asked through his eyes. He softly smiled before engulfing one of your breasts into his mouth.

Instantly knocking your head back into the mattress when a wet stride strikes across the sensitive bud. “Jake. Jake” You chant his name like it’s the only thing you’ve ever know, digging your hands back into his locks

He grinned before fiddling his fingers on the other side, he nicked the bud with his teeth making you wail with a precision to twist the other at the same time. Holding your arms up, he tilted his head to switch sides in order to soothe the burning feeling.

Giving butterfly kisses all over your chest, smearing the mounds with his salivas and growing marks made his heart thump harshly against his chest. The sight was a view he never wanted to get rid of, one that he will cherish forever.

Jake focused on the way you jerk in his hold as he trailed down the middle to your stomach. A kiss on every exposed inch while muttering sweet nothings along the way. Each word he said made your heart fuller.

His hands let go of your arms to drag them to your hips as he sank to his knees. Calloused hands ran over your bare stomach, a kiss left on each side while he muttered incoherent sentences. The tugging of your waistband made you look towards his pleading eyes, “May I?”

Alarms rang through your mind and you quickly blurted out, “I haven’t done this with anyone before”

Jake freezes and instantly pulls his hands back at the news, the cloud that hovered over him broke. Harshly blinking and snapping his head back while he peeled his body off yours.

However, you flailed and grabbed his hands to put them onto your waist, “I want this” You whispered loud for him to hear, “I want this with you”

“I don’t want…I can’t- I don’t want you to feel like you have to” He stuttered his words, a worry that slowly took over but you washed it away

Your gaze softened at the initial worry, you let go of his arms to cup his cheeks and pull into a kiss. He let himself be dragged back to your lips. You hummed softly rubbing the pad of your thumb onto his jaw, “I have never been sure of anything in life”

“Are you really sure?” He carefully asked

“More than ever”

He gulped down the lump in his throat slowly nodding his head, “I’ll take care of you sweetheart” He murmured, “Let me know if I’m doing something that’s making you uncomfortable, I don’t want to hurt you”

“You could never hurt me Jake” You jumped in staring directly into his eyes

His gaze never broke from yours, a smile etched on his face before pecking your lips “Are you sure-”

“Get on with it Jake” Jake chuckled when you interrupted him with a crash of your lips, a desperate need and desire overtaking you

He held tightly at your waistband fiddling with it until hooking underneath. Adjusting your body to allow him to slip off your pants, kicking them off somewhere in your room to be forgotten about.

Jake pulled away and you furrowed your brows but the unbuckling sound of his belt made your eyes travel down.

A bulge dented in his pants and made you nervously gulp, while you have never done anything like this before, you weren’t so oblivious. Jake saw the nervous expression, “It’s okay baby” He stroked your cheek, “We’ll take it slow”

You didn’t give a response, to only watch him as he unbuttoned his pants to your dismay somewhere in your room and left the rest of the artifacts leaving himself in his briefs. The thought that the pants concealed the truth behind his size was gravely mistaken.

Your eyes widened at his sheer size before looking up at him to see the bashful smile he had while rubbing the back of his nape in a shy manner. Your own smile formed while you reached out and pulled his arm from behind his neck, “And here you were calling me perfect”

He whipped his over to you and roughly shook his head, “Because you are. Everything about you doesn’t have to be changed in order to accommodate everyone else”

“But even in any shape or form you decide to take, you will be perfect. Each and every single time you will be” He strokes the side of your face before planting a soft kiss against your temple, “You’re amazing. Every inch of you, inside and out is a beauty that has graced me”

Your mouth fell agape, words wanting to accumulate but nothing being able to form. Jake smiled when your eyes stared at him, a natural pout that he’s grown to adore from the moment he saw it. “Thank you” You weren’t sure what he was grateful for however, you felt the same way

His fingers traced the material of your underwear, drawing shapes at the elastic before pulling them down. Your breath hitched at the cold air hitting your bare self but he cooed to help ease you. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay I promise”

Your legs unconsciously closed but his hands traced over your knees, “Let me see you” His voice soft and comforting—alluring almost that when he pried your legs open there was no resistance

He sucked in a breath when he caught sight of your glistening core. A shimmer through the dewy moonlight and he nervously gulped. The silence made you worried but when Jake placed a kiss at the inside of your thigh you loudly gasped. “Flawless sweetheart…” He slurred, each kiss growing closer to your leaking entrance and your heart pounded,

A warm breath fanned against your pussy and you shivered, a cold sweat trickling down your neck. You peered down to see Jake in between your legs, his gaze longingly up towards you with a dizzy smile. “You know you speak through your eyes” He muttered making you giggle

Yet when you were going to respond a loud moan ripped out instead as he kissed your soapy self. Hands immediately tangled in his hair when he buried deeply into you. Loudly exhaling, shoulders visibly dropping as he placed opened mouth kisses. “So sweet baby… Fuck”

You squealed and jerked from the contact but Jake dug his fingers into your thighs to hold you in place. He messily rubbed his face in, the arousal leaking over the face but he groaned at the essence on his taste buds. His tongue glided over your slicked folds, lathering and mixing them with his saliva.

“Ja-Jake” You weakly call his name, the plush lips messily kissing you folds while he sucked the wetness out of you and into his mouth

Each drag up your folds lead to him sucking at your swollen clit, making you screech when he tugged at it only to run his tongue over to ease the pain. Your moans grew louder and into a sharp gasp when something protruded into your hole.

Jake groaned when the grip in his hair tightened and you pulled him closer to your core. Your lower body rocking into his face and legs hooking behind him, his nose rubbing against the bundle of nerves making you shake. He wrapped his arms around your legs, lifting your hips just enough to push himself deeper into your core.

You squeaked each time he left open kisses on your soaked self, his breath fanning over the arousal made you shiver each time. “Jake please” You wailed unsure what you were begging for

He focused on what erupts the most reaction out of you, flicking his tongue up and down before taking a long stride and sucking at your clit to repeat the motion again.”So beautiful. So pretty. Just so fucking sweet”

A tightening in your stomach made you attempt to push Jake away but he only held tighter, “Let go for me baby” He blabbed against your pussy knowing you were close

You weakly shake your head but too engrossed in eating you out like a man who’s been starved, he focused on reaching your high. “Wa-Wait Jake!”

“Give it to me love” Your back arched off the mattress as you let out a loud guttural moan, thinking he would stop but Jake continued on

Slowing down his pace but he continued to latch onto you, leaving faint kisses around your spasming self. You withered under his tongue but each slurp he took, the more he felt dizzy, a cloud forming in his head that he could never get sick of.

With a failed attempt, you finally succeeded in prying him off your sensitive self. A weak string attaching his mouth to your smearing wet self, Jake gasped a breath, his arms dropping your legs as he stared at you in a daze. Eyes big and hooded with something you couldn’t begin to decipher, the lower half of his face masked in your arousal while having a loopy smile.

You brushed the curtains of his bangs back, the sweat covered forehead exposed making you giggle softly which he followed after with his own. “You okay there?” You shakily asked and he quickly nodded his head

“I don’t think I’ve ever been better” Smiling and rolling your eyes, he pushed himself up from his knees you caught a glimpse of the raging hard on he sported but unable to comment when he kissed you

Your face scrunched at the taste of you on his mouth but his hand cupping your jaw and holding you melted all thoughts away besides him.

Pulling away from the kiss, you stared into each other’s eyes. Shy smiles from the other while you softly nod your head, “Please Jake” You softly say, “I need you”

Jake hastily rushed to remove and free himself from the confinement that could barely be contained. Your jaw dropped at the sight of his raging hard on slap against his stomach, glistening in all its glory for you. The precum leaked out of its slit and trickled down the side, mimicking the viens tracing down.

You harshly gulped down the lump and looked up at him, his fingers traced over your knees in an attempt to soothe you but your heart hammered out nevertheless. He pushed your legs apart and his slender fingers ran over your sensitive folds. You jerked at the sensation while his other hand rubbed its thumb in a circular motion at your hips.

“Need to prep you before anything like that baby” He slurred before easing a finger inside of you, hissing at the intrusion and the tightness, you screwed your eyes shut

Your hands fisted your sheets, crumbling and messing it up under your body. “Jake” You called out his name weakly grabbing his wrist as he pumped it in and out slowly

“I got you baby. I’m right here” He slurred feeling how your clenched around his finger

The slickness made it easy for him to glide in and out, burying the red knuckles deep into your gaping hole before pulling out and repeating the motions leaving your mouth slack. The lewd sound from the squelch of your arousal meeting his finger filled the room.

You grip his wrist tightly but you weakly let go to clasp over your mouth when he slipped a second finger in. You moaned into your hand loudly, holding back the noises erupting but Jake scratched the back of your hand making you look at him.

He weakly pulled your hand away, “Don’t stop yourself. I want to hear you” As he said that he curled his fingers into your gummy wall making you gasp loudly

He smirked at the reaction and repeated the motion, the squishy walls around engulfing his fingertips, clenching around tightly as he attempted to scissor them open. You rolled to the back of your head when he found the pace that had you seeing stars.

The pad of his thumb rubbed over your swollen clit, “Was asking for attention, I couldn’t ignore… I’m sorry” You knew he didn’t mean the apology as he continued to rubbed down on the nerves

“More- Please!” You wail out, your hands grasping his biceps tightly, your filled holed gripping onto his fingers in a need but he ripped his fingers away when he felt that

You gasped and weakly opened your eyes to stare at him as he gave you a quiet apology and a sad pout. He bent your shaky legs and planted a kiss on your knee before reaching a hand down to hold his base.

Suddenly the initial frustration faded away as a wave washed over you, “Take a big breath for me” He whispered and with a shaky inhale, your chest heaved and you let out a pained whimper when he pushed his tip in

“D-Damn” You let out when he sank himself deeper, Jake let out pitched breaths and faint whines as you gripped around him, “So good”

He ran a hand at your hips to ease you. Your grip at his biceps grew tighter as you screwed your eyes shut but you weakly opened them when he tapped at your side, “Look at me. Just look at me baby”

Through heavily eyelids you look up at Jake who weakly smiled, faltering into a hiss every now and then, “Taking me so well, ‘m so proud of you. So fucking proud”

His body toppled over in a huff, your arms wrapped around his shoulders to hold him close. His cock twitched inside of you and it flared something fiery within you. You felt like you were being split apart by his cock alone.

You sucked in ragged breaths and released shaky breaths, trying to get accustomed to the stretch. Jake patiently waited for your sign, to show him that you were ready and he got it when your fingers drugged into his shoulder and your hurried head nodded in the crook of his neck.

He pressed a kiss at the side of your face, “I’m going to make you feel good, I promise” He reassured you before carefully pulling out just a little before pushing back in

A shallow thrust at first but it was more than enough to leave you dizzy. “So good for me love. So good to me. Taking all of me” Jake blabbed, slowly moving his hips once more to get accustomed to the clench around his cock

He heard soft sniffles come from you and he ran his hand up and down your side. Your body slightly shook under him and he cooed in your ear, “It’s okay let it out. You’re doing amazing. So fucking pretty”

You clawed at his skin, nails dragging down his skin and redding it. The rain hitting the window and the winds pushing up the tree to clunk at the side disappeared to nothing, “Need you Jakey… Please move” You slurred and it was like a switch flipped in his mind

Pushing in and out in slow thrust he soon got caught up in the feel of you wrapped around him. He never thought he could experience heaven while being alive but the wet, warmed confinement that is the heaven to him that he never wants to part form.

Each thrust started off slow and calculated, shallow but sweet. You feel the drag of him against your walls before he pushes himself in again. Able to feel his tip protruding into your g-spot, repeatedly hitting it when his pace quickened.

Your moans and whines grew louder when his tip kept poking your insides, teasing them in ways you never imagined of before. “You’re doing so good for me love” He murmured and you relished in the praise

“F-for you- Just for you” You weakly said, his heart hammered at the confession

Each thrust grew quicker, a desperation that wiped your mind cleared besides of the fullment within you that he provided. You whined out pants when he dragged his cock out fully leaving you empty for a moment before pushing back in to fill you up.

Your voice cracking whenever he did that, you hole gaped for him to be filled by him.Your walls parted and welcomed him with ease, arousal leaking at the sides and soaking his shaft.

The squelched and lewds sounds of each time you met filled the room, his hip meeting yours. Jake ran a hand up and down your body—gripping the skin that he could touch and hold onto.

“So pretty” While unable to see you he knew it was a sight to see, “My girl”

The call of words made your heart swell, you cling tighter onto him while seeps of moans slip past your mouth as you feel him inside, poking into your insides like it was always his to explore.

The obscene grew louder, no longer blocked by the rain pattering against the window or the gush of winds that swayed by. Your broken wails filled his head and consumed his body whole. Each thrust pressed your body deeper into the mattress.

Your hands fisted the sheets as your mouth fell slack, endless noises coming out and bouncing off the room. Jake groaned when he felt you grow tighter around him. A clear indication that your orgasm was approaching.

You sucked him deeper, not wanting to let go. “Clenching around me like you don’t want to let me go” He strained a chuckle, his free hand rubbing on your clit making your wail even louder

Running an infinity motion over the twitching bundle of nerves had you shaking even harder. You buried your head deeper into the crevice of his shoulder and jaw as he was your solace.

Jake grunts a chuckle when you hold onto him, “Give it to me. Let go for me baby” He wrapped his arm around you while his hips never faltered

Each thrust sent your body further into your bedding, the once slow thrust growing quicker and irregular, the tame rhythm disrupted and erratic, you felt him twitch in you whenever you clamped around him. Your legs hooked around his waist to keep him in you.

His eyes widened at the silent jester however he continued the relentless thrust into you. Your moans were frequent until you released the loudest one yet while you clamped around his shaft, he stuttered his hips and gasped a huff when you came around him—a bliss taking over you in an instance.

“Take it for me. Please. Please” He weakly pleaded, vision growing blurry, “Take it baby” Jake sniffled his thrust coming to a hilt when you felt a warmth spread inside of you, his pitched moans filled your ears while his cock twitched painting your velvet walls white of him

Jake’s rest rose with every pant he took, too dazed to comprehend what’s around him besides your fluttering hole engulfing him and taking everything he spilt into you.

Your sharp soft gasps dialed down into small hums, the hold you had on each other never loosening. He rested his forehead against yours. He smiled softly at the tired afterglow you bestowed and his heart fluttered in his chest.

When you heard a soft giggle your eyes opened to see the cheesy smile Jake had, a look in his eyes that seemed to hold the stars in them even though he was only looking at you.

Unable to hold back, you softly chuckle yourself and rub your sweaty forehead with his. He began to pull his body away to pull out but you locked your legs behind and weakly shook your head, “Let’s stay like this for a little while please”

Without another word, his body rested on top of you and head cracking into your neck, adjusting himself to slot perfectly in your arms while he took a heavy sigh, his body relaxing instantly.

He placed a kiss on your skin as he softly smiled, “We can stay like this for however long you like”

𓂃 ོ𓂃

The sun is barely up but growing in the distance, you take small steps on the dock. Jake instantly perched up to the sound and turned around, his smile growing bigger when he saw you wearing his shirt.

You shyly smile seeing the beaming gaze he had for you before walking over to him and taking the seat next to him. Your sides plastered to each other and he pressed his mouth against your head with a gentle smile, “Hi love”

You hummed in response, your heart full with joy and new beginnings. Resting your head upon Jake’s shoulder, hands interlacing with each other while he planted another soft kiss on top of your head.

The sun was rising and the sound of a swoosh followed by another wasn’t enough for you and Jake to pull away from each other. Then in sight, two swans flew and landed beside each other. Watching how they followed the other in whatever path is decided without a question or resistance.

While the swans swam in the lake named after them before ultimately choosing a spot in front of you, neck craned high to rest their heads on each other’s to bask in the sunlight of the humid dewy morning.

Forming a perfect heart shape to new humble beginnings of greatness, happiness and love.

——

a special tag for @jaylaxies <3

#enhypen smut #enha smut #jake sim smut #sim jaeyun smut #sim jake smut #jake smut #enhypen jake smut #enhypen x reader #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #jake x reader #jaeyun x reader

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peachiejeongin · 3 months ago

Text

Mind-Numbing Melody | Bang Chan

Synopsis: Chan has been unmotivated lately when it comes to producing; however, he comes across a melodic idea that he just cannot resist. He just needs your help to fulfill it.

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader

Genre: Smut, Slight Fluff

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content (18+ Recommended), dom!Bang Chan, sub!reader, pet names (pretty girl, darling, good girl, etc.), biting, marking, fingering, slight edging, teasing, begging, unprotective penetrative sex (please use protection), Chan uses reader's moans in a song

Notice: Hello, my darlings! I know it has been weeks since the release of SKZHOP, but Railway has been driving me absolutely bonkers, so enjoy this fiction I wrote when I discovered you could hear Chan moaning in the background of the song :,D

Divider By: @anitalenia

Smut under the cut!

The studio was steeped in a familiar glow, its dim lighting wrapping around stacks of forgotten notes, tangled cords, and empty coffee cups that lined the console like weary sentinels. Chan hunched over the keyboard, fingers tapping an irregular, impatient rhythm. It had been days, weeks even, of this same cycle—blank stares at a blank screen, fleeting sparks of inspiration that fizzled out as quickly as they arrived.

The room smelled faintly of espresso and something sharper, a sort of musk as if Chan's frustration was materializing into a smell. The scent was Chan's constant companion these days, a reminder that no matter how hard he pushed, the music would remain just out of reach.

You watched him from the warm leather couch in the corner, your legs curled beneath you as your phone rested forgotten on your lap. He was quiet, but not in the comforting way he usually was. This silence was heavy, nearly oppressive.

"You're going to burn a hole into that screen," you finally said, your voice teasing but soft, careful not to break him entirely out of whatever fragile trance he was in.

Chan glanced over his shoulder at you, a faint, tired smile curving his lips upwards in a manner that did not quite reach his eyes.

"Maybe I can burn some inspiration into it," he murmured, turning back to the keyboard. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that let you know how sore it was from hours of tensing.

He absentmindedly clicked through the tabs open on his browser, hoping something would reignite his motivation. A playlist was open on his monitor, softly blaring tracks from artists he admired; most of them were songs that sparked awe and envy in an equal measure. But it was the headline of an article on trends in modern music that caught his eyes, words he had previously skimmed earlier in the day: "Personal Touch: The Rise of Intimacy in Music Production."

He had not thought much of it at the time, dismissing it as another gimmick. Now, in the late-night haze of desperation and coffee-stained reality, the concept felt like a thread to cling to. The idea of creating something raw, something undeniably intimate, grew in his mind. When he looked at you, lounging on that couch as if you were a calm in the storm, an idea began to crystalize.

You caught his gaze, brows furrowing slightly in concern as you noticed the shift in his expression—an intense focus, almost predatory, like he had just discovered something precious.

"What?" you asked, nerves and curiosity blending in your tone.

Chan stood slowly, the chair rolling back with a low creak. When he crossed the room, every step deliberate, your heart began to beat just a bit faster. He dropped to one knee in front of you, the studio's ambient light casting shadows against the defined angles of his jawline. His fingers found your thighs, resting there lightly at first, then gripping just enough to make your pulse quicken.

"I need your help," he said, his voice a low rumble that seemed to vibrate through you.

"With what, my love?" You tilted your head, trying to read the intent behind his lustful, dark eyes.

"There's this idea I have," he began, thumb absently stroking the fabric of your sweatpants. "I read this article—something about artists using intimate sounds from their partners in songs. Breaths, moans, everything. I can't stop thinking about how you would sound in one of my songs." His gaze dropped to where his fingers rested against your thighs, almost reverent in a way.

"Your voice, the way you sound when it's just us...I think it could be the spark I'm missing."

Your breath caught in your throat. The idea was audacious, bordering on the verge of scandalous, yet it held an allure you could not deny. You imagined it— your moans hidden between beats and chords only you could notice.

"You're serious?" you questioned, voice barely reaching above a whisper. Chan nodded, his eyes meeting yours with a certain vulnerability that made your heart clench.

"I've been so stuck, but the thought of creating something with you that's so raw and real...it just feels right."

You swallowed, the weight of his request pressing down on you in the best possible way. The trust, the intimacy—it was more than you had ever imagined sharing with Chan, moreso the audience that would be tuning into the song.

"Okay," you agreed softly, the word containing every ounce of trust and anticipation you felt.

Chan's lips curved into a slow, sincere smile, and he leaned foreward to press a kiss against your forehead. It was warm, lingering, a promise as much as it was a kiss.

"You have no idea how much this means to me," he mumbled as he pulled away.

Before you could reply, he captured your lips with his, a kiss that was at first gentle, exploratory; it then deepened into something that made the studio air feel heavy, electric. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as you melted into him, a symphony in the making.

This kiss grew hungrier, if that was possible, your hands tangling roughly into Chan's hair as he remained steady on your thighs. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, and the soft gasp it elicited made him groan against your mouth.

"Just like that, pretty girl," he whispered, his voice hoarse as his lips brushed against yours.

Chan pulled away from you briefly, striding to his computer and clicking open an audio-recording tab; the faint glow of the monitor casted a faint shadow on the walls. You repositioned yourself as he opened the taper, falling back onto the cushions; he made his way back over to you, climbing over top of you on the couch, his hands tracing an agonizingly slow path up your sides.

Every movement and every touch was unhurried, deliberate as though he was tuning you, finding the exact pitch that made you hum beneath his touch. His fingers danced over your skin, like he was learning the contours of an instrument. The press of his lips ignited sparks at every point of contact.

"Channie," you whispered as you intertwined one of his warm hands with yours; he stroked your cheek gently, smiling ever so lovingly at you.

"Relax for me," he purred before nipping his teeth at your neck ever so slightly. The motion caused you to shiver, your breath hitching in your throat as his lips travel from your neck slowly to your chest. There, he sucked small markings into your skin until purple and red adorned your chest. Welts became present due to his teeth grazing the sensitive skin before Chan moved to fiddle with the hem of your top.

"Are you alright with taking this further?" Chan questioned, assuring that he had your full consent before going farther.

"Yes," you breathed out, the words nearly getting stuck in your throat; your gaze flickers to the computer screen, watching as the speakers picked up each noise, the audio receptor's lines expanding with each recipient.

With your approval, Chan stripped you of your top, agonizingly slow albeit, his fingers moving their way to the clasp of your bra. He managed to undo the latch in one, swift motion, and before giving you time to think, his lips wrapped around your nipple.

You moaned as the warmth from his mouth and the wetness of his tongue sucked, kissed, and bit at your nipple, his tongue gliding over the sensitive region. His hands caressed your hips slowly before the right one moved up to attend to the neglected breast; his fingers rolled the bud, pinching, flicking and eliciting beautiful sounds from you.

"Don't hold back" Chan breathed out. "I want to hear everything."

At this point, your body was burning, both from Chan's actions and from the awareness that this was all going to be on tape; you felt a coating of arousal pool up at your core, causing you to rub your clothed thighs together in attempts to gain some sort of friction. Chan noticed the action almost instantly, grinding his hips slightly into yours; you sighed almost out of relief as you felt his own arousal poking through the black fabric of his loose shorts.

Chan lifts off of you, his hands reaching for the bottom of his hoodie; however, you stopped him, your hands mirroring his actions. You wanted to strip him, wanted to be the one to revel in revealing his perfection. Chan sighed out of contenment as you lifted the sweatshirt over his head, messing up his hair in the process and discarding the article somewhere on the studio floor.

Ridding the hoodie revealed a toned torso, with glimmering, slightly-tanned abs sparkling in the glow of the studio. You instinctually moved your hands to lay upon his chest, just as you had done so many times before, sliding your palms down his body smoothly and causing him to shiver. He positioned his body back above you, leaning over your smaller frame.

"Let me take care of you, Love," he lightly growled out as he moved his hands down to hook under the waistband of your pants, flicking his gaze to meet yours for approval. You nodded repeatedly, causing Chan to giggle as he slid your pants and underwear down, throwing the clothing alongside his hoodie.

He relished at your arousal, his eyes looking blown out before any sexual act had been committed.

"Look at you, Darling," he whispered, sliding a fingers through your wetness and causing you to whine. "Always so pretty for me."

Before you could comprehend his words, your mind increasingly numbing at his actions, Chan inserted his pointer fingers, pumping the digit in and out of you slowly. The contact elicited a string of hearty, genuine moans from you; admittedly, you were louder than you usually were during sex. You were not sure if it was because of the arousal of being recorded or if you just felt particularly frustrated that day.

Whatever it was, the sounds escaping you were particularly tumultuous, and Chan thought the octave was perfect for what he wanted to accomplish.

Chan inserted his middle finger minutes after his first digit, his pace quickening along with the speed of your whines. He maneuvered his hands, reaching to where his thumb could brush against your clit and allowing you to feel as if you were on cloud nine. You repeatedly clenched around him, feeling your orgasm creeping up on you slowly but surely; however, Chan removed his fingers before you could reach the finish line, which earned a loud, aggravated whine from you.

"Channie!" you groaned, your pussy clenching around nothing as you bucked your hips up instinctively, attempting to receive any type of contact, even the slightest motion, that would bring you to your end.

"Why?"

"Adds an element of fun," Chan responded, his lips quirked into a smug smirk, "both to the music and to our little moments."

"I can't wait anymore, Chan," you whimpered out in response, making your boyfriend tsk at you appraisingly before he slid off his own bottoms.

He quickly lined his cock up with your entrance, rubbing through your folds teasingly; he complimented the prior action poking at the hole.

"Are you ready, Darling?" he questioned.

"Yes!" you yelped out, positioning your legs to wrap around Chan's torso.

"Beg for it, then," he commanded, causing your eyes to widen and your cheeks to flush from embarassment.

"This wasn't apart of the plan," you quietly mewled as Chan halted his teasing motions.

"Mm, maybe not, but I know what gets a reaction out of you," Chan admitted leaning down to whisper in your ear, his hot breath fanning your ears. "I gotta make sure this melody encapsulates as much of your perfection as possible. So, baby girl, if you want the same thing, I suggest you get to begging."

You let out an annoyed huff, your lips pursing into a sheepish pout as you reluctantly did as demanded of you.

"Please, Channie," you pleaded, your arms gripping his shoulders. "I need you so bad please. Please, please, please, baby." Chan chuckled lightly at your beseeching as he placed his hands on either side of your face.

"Good girl," he praised gently.

With that, he gently pushed himself inside of you. You both gasped at the feeling; Chan's length filled you completely, causing you to tingle with excitement as the familiar stretch swiftly morphed from pain into pleasure.

You gave Chan the go-ahead to move, and he held your hips tightly as he thrusted in and out of you; his lips parted, making their way to kiss and nip at your skin, the tips of his canines lightly poking you.

"You always feel so amazing, my love," he moaned out; you simply sighed in pleasure, clenching yourself around him as you melted into his stature. Rushes of pleasure shot throughout your body as Chan tighlty gripped onto your hips, his nails causing indents in your flesh.

The knot tightening in your stomach returns throughout Chan's thrusts, and you are unable to comprehend the sudden change in his demeanor from gentle to hazy. All you know is that it feels good and that you are losing yourself within his darkened gaze.

"Chan, oh my," you moan out, your voice high pitched and hoarse.

"You like that, Darling?" Chan questions as your noises pick up in pace. "Keep moaning for me. You're doing so well."

"'M close," you whimper out, holding onto Chan for dear life. Chan mandhandles your body upwards, still holding onto you in the new positions and burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"Cum for me then, Love," he commands; as soon as he gives the approval , your orgasm hits. Your brain becomes like mush, and your eyes flutter shut as the pleasure rocks through you.

You feel Chan halt in his movements and he slowly pulls out of you, allowing himself to finish on your stomach before laying beside you.

"Still with me?" he questions, pulling you into his arms.

"Mhm," you mumble, just barely able to hear his words. You feel tired all of a sudden, tangling your hands in Chan's hair, albeit much lighter this time.

"You did so good, Baby," Chan praised, holding you tightly against him. "Wait until you hear how beautiful you sound."

A week had passed since that night in the studio. You had not been allowed to hear the song yet, as Chan insisted it was, "not ready." His process was meticulous, almost obsessive, and though your curiosity burned, you let him do his thing.

Now, you were back in the studio, perched on the same couch where it had all happened. Chan stood by the mixing console, his headphones draped around his neck, a spark of nervous energy buzzing in his movements.

“It’s done,” he said, running a tired hand through his hair.

You shifted in your seat, heart thudding with anticipation.

“You’re making it sound like I should be scared,” you teased, though the slight tremble in your words told him part of you was nervous.

He shot you a lopsided grin, approaching you and sitting beside you on the couch. Strangely, there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.

“You don’t have to listen if you’re not ready," he explained, his tone laced with a sense of reluctance. "It’s...intimate.” The way his voice dipped sensually on the last word made your pulse quicken and you instantly shook your head.

“No, I want to hear it,” you declined his offer, your words uttered softly. "Play it, please."

He nodded, a faint smile present as he slid his headphones over your ears and pressed play on the monitor. The room went silent, save for the faint hum of the equipment. As the first notes filled your ears, everything else slowly faded away.

The song started softly; it was a deep, pulsing rhythm that felt like a heartbeat, layered with delicate chords that swept over you like a whisper. Then, beneath the music, you heard it.

You.

It was a faint gasp, so quiet it almost blended into the background vocals, followed by the softest of moans mixed into the melody. The sounds sent a rush of heat to your cheeks as your mind flashed back to that night, to Chan’s hands, his lips, and the way he had coaxed those very sounds from you.

Your breath caught as the track built, the sensual undertones unmistakable. Every layer of the song felt personal, your breaths and your voice intertwined with the raw intensity of Chan's production. It was not overtly explicit, but the sensuality was undeniable, a secret language only the two of you could speak woven into the music.

When the track ended, you pulled the headphones off and stared at him, your mouth slightly agape.

“Chan...” You didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or throw the headphones at him. “That’s me.”

His lips twitched into a smirk, though his eyes searched yours for any sign of disapproval.

“It’s us,” he corrected. “I wanted it to feel sincere, like it replicated us to a tee.”

Your cheeks burned, contrasting the thrill that coursed through your veins. Chan scooted closer, leaning in front of you so his face was mere inches away from yours.

“You’re my muse,” he told you simply. “Every sound, every breath—it’s you. You inspire me.”

You shook your head, laughing softly.

“If people hear this-”

“They won’t know it’s you, if they even notice it's there,” he reassured, his voice gentle. “It’s subtle. Just for us.”

Your lips parted, still processing, but before you could say anything else, he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin.

"You don't hate it, do you?"

“Hate it?” you echoed, shaking your head on denial. “I could never hate anything you create. The song is absolutely beautiful. It’s just...”

“Just?”

“...Really hot,” you admitted, biting your lip.

A deep laugh rumbled from his chest, and he leaned in, his forehead resting against yours.

“Good,” he murmured. “Because it’s the most personal thing I’ve ever made, and I want it to be for you as much as it is for me or for the fans.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

“Well,” you began, your voice dropping to a playful whisper, “if you ever need more inspiration..” Your voice trailed off as your fiddled with the chain of his necklace, your forehead still pressed gently against his. Chan grinned, his fingers tightening on your waist.

“Don’t tempt me, y/n.”

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght, @amararosesblog (If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)

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ennabear · 5 months ago

Text

✞︎ ︎YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS.

SOMEONE TO HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. SOMEONE WHO CARES.

cw: religious!reader x sevika, inspo from personal jesus by depeche mode, dark themes [drinking addiction, religious crisis, trauma/ptsd, etc.], a mention of isha because i’m evil, as well as religious themes, nasty sloppy dirty sinful dyke sex [body worship + tribbing] 18+ 🧛🏿

word count: 14.1k

i. FEELING UNKNOWN AND YOU’RE ALL ALONE

sad, dull, gray, gloomy, what else could she use to describe it? constant rain, a chronic form of seasonal depression that lingered in the air no matter where she went. her therapist prescribed her some fresh air, but the air is never fresh here. it’s thick with fog, the humidity weighs down on your shoulders and makes it unbearable to trudge through. sure, the sun shines, but it never peeks out from behind the clouds, leaving the town in a dark, unsaturated gleam.

she crosses the threshold into her apartment, hair clinging to the back of her neck and the sides of her face due to a mix of humidity and sweat. her apartment might be more vapid than the outside world, it’s a small box that overlooks the parking lot and a few 24 hour diners across the street. the walls are all white, along with the ceiling and cabinets, and the carpet is scratchy and gray. she hardly has any furniture, a small couch with a tv propped up on a cardboard box facing it. no coffee table, chairs, or shelves, but she doesn’t spend much time out here anyways.

her ribs start to ache, and the growing hunger in her stomach only makes it worse. she scours her cupboards for a snack, and settles for half a bar of dark chocolate and a glass of whiskey. the couch is small and hard and it barely offers any comfort to her tired body. on the tv, the meteorologist blabbers away about the predicted weather for the week. she feels bad for him, the poor guy probably wanted a bigger and better job than this. foreseeing the same weather for 365 days straight. cold, cloudy, wet, maybe snow if we get lucky.

the dark chocolate she’s nibbling on is cheap and tastes identical to the plastic wrapper it came in, and the burn of the whiskey is only adding to the bitter taste. but at least it soothes her mind. she sighs, flicks off the television, and heads for the shower. the last thing she wants to be right now is even more wet, but the promising warmth of the water will at least soothe some of the pain in her shoulders.

a bone-chilling squeak rings out through the bathroom as she twists the faucet on, and the light flickers as if in response to the noise. sevika peels her clothes off, her sweatpants dropping to the floor and her shirt still trying to hang on to her body. her ribs are more prominent than they’ve ever been, and she can see her muscles slowly starting to wither away with how frequently she skips the gym.

steam fills the room, the foggy clouds of it wisp around her as she studies herself until she can’t see her reflection anymore. it’s all blurry— her reflection, the walls, her own hands in front of her face. her left arm has the deepest and darkest scars she’s ever seen, most of them are jagged from the way her stitches were inserted. she can hardly stand to look at herself anymore, so maybe it’s a good thing the mirror is fogged up.

in the shower she only washes herself for a quick second, rubbing a thin layer of soap all over her body and scrubbing her scalp with shampoo. she debates on adding conditioner, but she feels as if she’ll faint if she’s in the shower for another second. the hot water quickly runs out, and sevika only notices how scorching her water was when it switches over to room temperature.

as soon as she steps out of the shower, she wraps herself up in her towel, although there’s not really a point in that due to the holes and strings coming off of it. she makes a mental note to buy more towels, and just as she’s about to mope about another purchase to make, her phone blares an alarm warning her not to be late to her physical therapy appointment.

stumbling out of the bathroom, she trudges half nude to her liquor cabinet, aimlessly grabbing around for something strong. she pours herself a shot, and then another, and fuck, why not a third one? she doesn’t notice the burn as it goes down, her mind instead focusing on the ache in her left shoulder.

she pulls a shirt over her head and shoves her shoes on, finalizing her outfit with her black raincoat. she wears it nearly every day, partially because it’s always cold and rainy, and partially because it’s a good excuse to hide the thick scars that travel all the way up her body. her spine starts to ache as she walks to the clinic, but she doesn’t have money for a car, and she doesn’t know anybody in this town well enough to ask them for a ride.

the receptionist at the clinic doesn’t look up one single time as sevika checks in, and sevika wishes so badly that she could get paid to sit down and look at a computer all day. she takes a seat in the waiting room, slumping back and relaxing her muscles as she waits for her PT to invite her in. the clock on the wall ticks extremely loudly, she notices, but she decides to close her eyes and count the ticks until it’s finally her turn.

ii. FLESH AND BONE BY THE TELEPHONE

static muffles through her radio. she flicks the ashes of her cigarette out onto the pavement, watching as a pigeon across the street skitters around. another few crackles through her walkie talkie go ignored. it’s her break for fucks sake, and she’s only just starting to enjoy it.

“sevika?” her radio booms. she sighs, rolling her eyes and waiting for someone else to respond.

“sevika, we need you inside. your break is over.”

“my break is what? over.” she responds, giggling at her own smartass response.

“your break is over, god damn it. over.”

“roger.” she says, a hint of a smile still in her voice. “i’ll be inside in a second. over.”

she pulls her phone out of her pocket, double checking the new code for the security door. after punching it in, she swings the door open until it bolts shut behind her, and then makes her way to the lobby. the museum is huge, the lobby has floors that sparkle and shine no matter how many muddy shoes cross over them, and the rest of the stories are complete with floor to ceiling windows that are taller than she ever could’ve imagined.

as she crosses through a giant stone archway, her boss nods and waves her over. one of her coworkers is there too, both of them looking stern and serious. she steps into the small circle they’ve formed, lifting her eyebrows quizzically at the two of them. “well?” she asks. “what do you need?”

“what do i need? what i fuckin’ need from both of you is for you to do your fuckin’ jobs.” he spits, literally. droplets of his saliva collect in his beard as he digs into sevika and her coworker about ‘not doing their jobs.’

“what do you mean by that, sir?” her coworker asks.

“do you know how many people i’ve seen walk out of here with souvenirs stuffed into their pockets? that gift shop is gonna be desecrated by the end of the day.”

“respectfully, sir, we aren’t in charge of the gift shop. we only monitor the grounds of the museum, and you’re the one who hired us both to do that.” she says back.

“then go do ya fuckin’ job.” he growls, his thick boston accent shining through his attempt at a serious lecture.

she raises her eyebrows and turns around with her tongue in her cheek, heading up the large marble stairs. sevika can’t argue with that, and she loves her job. it’s easy— all she has to do is puff her chest to intimidate her guests, hand out lollipops to the little ones who are brave enough to wave at her, and occasionally answer a question about directions around the place. all of her coworkers love her, and she’s never felt more secure in her life before.

ascending the stairs, she eyes a beautiful young woman with blazing orange hair wandering into the gift shop and a smile on her face. that’s not the type of person who’d steal, she thinks, and she’s probably right. concealing her eyes are a pair of black sunglasses, and she’s finally thankful they’re part of her uniform now that she’s got direct sunlight hitting every corner of the second floor.

she inserts her earpiece into the side of her head, prepared although not excited to listen to her coworkers chat and complain for the rest of the day. she flicks around until she connects to the private channel, and then continues to stroll around the second floor.

people of all ages wander through the halls. kids being scolded by their parents, awkward adults grasping clammy hands on their first date, seniors leaning on their walkers and canes as they reminisce about famous painters. the community is so beautiful, so important to her, she’d do anything to protect it. this place is like her second home, and she’s made some of the best friends of her life here. not to mention the fact that it’s taken her years to memorize her way around the place, so now it’s even more special to her.

she steps toward the large windows, feeling the warm sun prickle her skin as it sparkles through the leaves of the trees. the muffled sound of laughing families combined with the sight of her people paints a smile on her face, and she closes her eyes and loses herself in this divine moment until she feels something tug on the bottom of her vest.

“yes?” she asks, turning around and smiling down at the kid. her bottom lip quivers and her eyes fill with tears, she makes a mental note that she can’t be any older than six years of age.

“i—” she starts, attempting to blink back tears and inevitably failing. “mmmph!!”

sevika crouches down and wipes the girl’s tears away with her thumbs, ruffling the kid’s fluffy blue hair. “don’t worry, kiddo.” she assures her, “what’s wrong? oh, lemme guess— lost your parents?” the kid nods and sobs some more, attempting to hide her face in her hands.

she scoops her up in her arms, letting her sob into her shoulder. “ughffff!!!!” she pouts, squirming in sevika’s hold. she takes a guess that the kid is either really shy or just mute.

“it’s okay,” she coos. “would you like a lollipop?” the kid sniffles at this, but lifts her head up and nods at her. sevika digs into the small bag on her waist, pulling out a bright blue sucker for the little one that matches her hair. she takes it in her small hands and unwraps it, eyes sparkling at the sight of the blue raspberry favored sugar. sevika just hopes her parents don’t kill her.

with the kid in her arms— who is now joyfully sucking on the lollipop instead of soaking her in tears and snot— she makes her way downstairs. sevika’s no stranger to lost children, and she’s fond of their company. it’s refreshing to hear them describe colors and patterns in the paintings instead of overanalyzing it and telling stupid facts about the artist. and she loves that she can finally give back to the world, bringing the kiddos comfort like she never received from her own parents.

“radio check.” her earpiece says, slightly catching her off guard.

“go ahead.” her teammates all say, mutually praying their boss isn’t about to go on another two hour long rant in their private channel.

“keep your eyes peeled for a little kid with a full head of bright blue hair,” her boss says into her earpiece. “apparently her names isha and she’s five. parents lost her on the second floor and they’re worried.”

sevika looks down at the kid, unnecessarily double checking that her head is painted with blue hair dye. “i’ve got her.” she says. “we’re making our way to the lobby. 10-20?”

“lobby, meet you there soon. over and out.”

“isha!!” her mother shrieks as soon as sevika lands on the bottom step. “oh my sweet ishabear! i thought we’d lost you forever.”

isha’s dad shoots sevika a look that seems to say ‘sorry about her’, but she smiles and hands the kid over. “what’s your name?” her mom asks frantically. just as she’s about to respond, her boss speaks up and whacks her on the back with a proud slap.

“this is sevika. best security in the whole building, ain’t she?” he says, reaching out to pinch her cheek. sevika tries her absolute best to hold back, but she can’t stop a harsh glare from forming on her face as her boss pokes and prods at her like she’s a doll. she clears her throat and shoves him off, but resumes a smile for the parents staring at her.

“that she is!” the mother cheers. “god bless you, sevika, seriously. i’ll never be able to repay you.”

she smiles proudly, not necessarily because she believes in a god, but she’s just glad to get the kid back and hopefully end the conversation soon. “thank you ma’am. it’s no problem, really. it’s my job.”

“it is your job!” her boss exclaims. “and she’s gonna get right back to it.”

before turning away, she gives isha a smile and an explosive fist bump, smiling at the adorable little cub and then parting. her boss is probably the only downside of her job. words can’t explain how much she hates that guy— even hate isn’t a strong enough word. but she ignores it, pushing her hatred to the back of her mind and attempting to continue with her good day.

until an ear piercing scream is let out at the front of the building, and she’s knocked out before she can turn around to investigate.

——

“shit, how many are still in the building?”

“i dunno, man! there are people fuckin’ everywhere.”

“sevika? can you hear me? … sevika, you need to get out of there now.”

groggily, she peels her heavy eyes open and looks around. the scent of pennies fills her nose, a metallic smell so strong it nearly knocks her out again. before she feels like she can hit the floor, her body jerks forward and she sucks in a gasp before she realizes she’s already laying on the marbled ground.

“sevika…?”

“leave it alone, for gods sake, we need to get people out of here!”

her left arm was laying oddly and uncomfortably behind her, and her whole body was absolutely aching. she leans forward and chokes out some blood before looking at the scene before her. windows shattered and glass glistening on the floor, reflecting the light that shines off of the mini fires lit all around. there are people everywhere— or at least the remains of them. shoes and purses and walkers left behind, the suffocating scent of blood and charred flesh, and the sound of sirens blaring all around her.

she tries to breathe, but it seems impossible. her lungs won’t fill with air no matter how many times she gasps, and that number is burgeoning with the way she’s hyperventilating. hot, salty tears prickle her eyes involuntarily, but she blinks them away, too shocked to feel any emotions yet. she groans into the floor as a sharp pain shoots through her body, and the thrashing caused by that pain only makes her feel worse.

deep red and sticky, her blood pools around her. it leaks out of her left arm, which takes her a while to recognize as hers because of the way her elbow is inverted. she recognizes cries of children and shrieks of pain, which is a harsh contrast of the peaceful atmosphere earlier. how much earlier? how long has she been knocked out? and why is she on the floor?

after an eternity, two men in heavy jackets lift her onto a stretcher. she’s facing up this time, and now she can get a good look at the walls around her. they’re crumbling and splattered with blood, world famous paintings that were once hanging from them are now completely destroyed. either torn up or burnt to a crisp.

as they approach the bottom of the stairs, she makes the tough decision to peek over the stretcher, eyes frantically searching around the spot she was only just standing in. and there she is. that little girl with her bright blue hair, now drenched in red. her lips are still blue from the lollipop, but she’s grown pale and cold. and gone. and sevika couldn’t protect her.

before she closes her eyes, she takes in the scene one more time. piles of hair tangled together and skin melted into the floor. she’s seen some pretty outrageous things as a security guard, but never this. tears pour out of her eyes, the pain in her body making her wish she would’ve been taken out too. by what, she doesn’t know. she isn’t aware of where she is or what’s going on, all she knows is the pain in the left side of her body, and it’s all she’ll feel for the rest of her life.

iii. LIFT UP THE RECEIVER, I’LL MAKE YOU A BELIEVER

“sevika…?”

she blinks awake with a gasp, eyes wide as she takes in her surroundings. children’s toys litter the floor, flyers and posters on the wall, bright white lights beaming down on her— and her physical therapist standing about 2 feet away from her. sevika grumbles in embarrassment, trying to shake off her sleepiness as quickly as possible.

her therapist offers a sympathetic smile before waving her back. sevika curses those waiting room chairs for being so comfortable, or maybe it’s just because she doesn’t get much shut eye at home. her back is so weak and achy that she feels as if she’ll snap under the weight of gravity, but she tries to play it cool in front of her poor doctor. she’s already embarrassed herself enough today, she won’t let herself collapse in pain on the floor of the office.

“nice to see you again, sevika.” her PT smiles, “how’ve you been?”

how has she been? what a long list she could go down. first of all, she’s in so much physical pain she can barely sit upright without passing out. next, she hasn’t been sleeping well due to her night terrors, and she’s waken up soaked in sweat and shivering more often than not. finally, if this list has to end anywhere, she feels jealous. of the happy families she sees every day, of the kids with friends, of the adults with well paying jobs.

“i’ve been… surviving.” she says, purposefully ignoring the plethora of problems she has. this is physical therapy, she reminds herself. not the damn loony bin. get ahold of yourself.

“well, surviving is a great start.” her therapist says with a faux smile. “how has the pain in your shoulders felt since i last saw you? better? worse?” and with that, her voice trails off into the distance with sevika zoning out.

her poor arm gets bent in every single direction you can think of, even ones it’s not supposed to. she bites back her screams of agony and replaces them with little pained growls and whimpers. every time her arm gets bent slightly behind her, a shock of pure pain shoots through her spine and leaves her a shivering mess. the pain within her feels electric, like she’s about to burst into flames or something. it’s the worst thing she’s ever felt.

the tears in her eyes threaten to spill more than ever, but by some miracle she manages to hold them back. until she gets back to her apartment, at least.

as soon as she steps through the front door, she makes a beeline for her bedroom. burying her face in her pillow, she lets it all out. her pained scream is barely muffled by the pillow, but she continues to scream until her throat feels like sandpaper and she realizes that she can’t breathe.

gasping for air, she flops over. her vision is spotted and blurry from a mix of tears, pain, and exhaustion. she stares at her ceiling and cries while she chokes on her own staggered breaths, and she barely registers that someone’s knocking on her door until she hears her name called through it.

“sevika? are you alright, hon?” is followed by another few pounds on her door. she doesn’t want her anyone to call the cops, so she slowly and reluctantly rises from bed, grabbing onto her door frame to steady herself.

it’s her neighbor. curse these walls for being too thin.

sevika groans and rolls her eyes before opening the door, trying her best to plant an indifferent look on her face although it looks more like a pout. the old woman smiles up at her, glad to see that she’s alive after that screaming, but sevika can’t return the smile.

“what’s wrong? did something happen?” her neighbor asks.

“nothing’s wrong.” sevika grumbles, lying through her teeth.

“i know that’s not true honeybun, your eyes are bright red and your cheeks are wet with tears.” her neighbor coos. sevika thinks it’s annoying. she doesn’t want anyone’s sympathy.

“i’m alright, thank you.” she says sternly, although her neighbor keeps pushing.

“may i come in?”

sevika doesn’t answer, instead watching as the old lady walks past her and plants herself on sevika’s couch. “come chat with me.” she invites with a warm, grandmotherly smile.

“i’m not in the mood for chatting.” sevika glares.

“oh, dear,” her neighbor chuckles to herself. “i’m afraid i’m too mature to have you groan at me like a teenager. come sit.”

sevika comes up with another response, but it’s not a very friendly one. the angel on her shoulder tells her not to say it, that the poor woman is just trying to help, that sevika’s already been so much of a bother that she should just shut her mouth. but the devil on her shoulder is fed up right now, and sevika always favors the devil.

“i’m afraid you’re not an ounce as mature as i am. you haven’t been through what i have, and you have no place to tell me what to do in my own fucking apartment.” but sevika does listen to the lady, because she takes a seat right next to her on the couch.

her neighbor ignores her emotional outburst and instead asks “are you hungry?”

“no.” sevika scowls.

“tired?”

“exhausted.”

“sad? lonely? you’d do good with a pet around here. or a few plants. i can grow you a—”

“no thanks. i don’t need a… plant. or an animal.” sevika spits.

“hmm. you live a sad life, don’t you. i wonder what you were like before you came here.” her neighbor sighed.

“i don’t owe you an explanation. that’s private.”

“sevika, you can talk to me if you need to. i’m only one door down the hall, retired, it’s just me and my cats. i’ll always be available if you need something.”

“i don’t need anything.” sevika rolls her eyes. “much less your pity.”

“okay, fine then. if you won’t let me help you, i’ll make someone else help you.”

she reaches into her pocket and digs through her wallet, pulling out a thin paper card and handing it over to sevika. “come with me tomorrow. it’d do you wonders.”

“to… church? no thanks, i’ll pa—”

“okay, great. i’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” her neighbor says, rising and making her way to the door.

“i didn’t say i’d come.”

“i’ll pick you up at eight. better set an alarm.”

“i didn’t agree to co—” and sevika gets cut off by the slam of her own door before she can finish her sentence. whatever, when tomorrow rolls around she’ll just ignore her neighbor, pretending to be asleep or something.

she leans back on her couch, staring at the ceiling and wishing she had a pillow to grip onto, to scream into. another thing to add to the list. she stares at the ceiling instead, balling her hands up into fists as rage turns into sadness and sadness turns back into exhaustion.

it takes everything in her not to crawl to bed, but she stands and walks herself eventually. her shoulders sag and her torso slumps forward as she takes one step at a time, her posture making her about 4 inches shorter than she really is. her bed cradles her weight though, and she sighs into her cold, wet pillow once the tension in her body is released. it’s the best feeling ever. and before she knows it, her eyes are shutting, mind going back to that deep, dark memory.

——

7:30am rolls around, and sevika curses herself for waking up this early. now she’ll have to pretend to be asleep in front of her neighbor, and she’s not a good actress. she rolls out of bed, dragging herself to the bathroom to get her day started. she tries to avoid the mirror, but it’s impossible.

she stares at herself for a while, the uncomfortable feeling of someone else looking back at her creeps up on her. she doesn’t look like herself, she doesn’t look like sevika. she looks sick, tired, hurt, starving. the thought of food makes her stomach twist, she hasn’t eaten anything real in over a full day. maybe she should go easy on her neighbor and ask for a home-cooked meal. maybe.

her hair is fluffy and frayed at the ends, and her roots feel eternally greasy. her depression is so bad, she either showers daily in an attempt to scrub the hallucinated blood off, or she won’t shower for weeks. it’s like she can never win the battle.

a knock at the door disrupts her thoughts. “sevika?”

a groan involuntarily escapes her as she silently opens the bathroom door and creeps out into the living room. “sevika, wake up, it’s almost eight.”

she freezes, praying that her movements on top of her creaky floorboards go unobserved.

“sevika, dear, i can hear you on the other side of the door. you’re not fooling anyone.”

fuck. she’s not getting out of this, is she.

with another groan, she opens the door and sighs. the old lady smiles up at her, dressed in some sort of church attire. “grab a coat,” she says. “it’s chilly out.”

what else does sevika have to do, other than follow the orders? she’s trapped now. following this sweet old woman to church on a sunday. something she never thought she’d do. but she yanks a jacket over her shoulders and shoves her shoes on, not bothering to lock the door behind her. she claims she has nothing to lose in there, but that’s just because she lost her own apartment key a while ago.

she almost smiles when her neighbor shoves her into her car. almost. but she’s not exactly capable of that anymore. it’s so luxurious. she has a heater and a radio and a seat. it’s almost like she’s in a spaceship, marveling at all of these features that would make her life so much easier.

her excitement reaches it’s end as they pull into the parking lot of the building, and that pit in her stomach returns as she climbs out of the small car. if her legs worked a fraction of how well they used to, she’d run so far away from this place.

everything about it is repelling her. the building is huge, bright, colorful, everything she’s seen in her recurring nightmares. it smells like dust and coffee, children’s art line the walls, along with some more formal paintings and portraits. the ceiling seems to be made of glass— the kind that shatters easily and can slice your hands up.

the windows are colored with stained glass that portray different scenes. people made of bright colors dance and pose and feast all around them, their dazzling figures being illuminated by the white sunlight shining through the windows. it’s the kind of beauty she was attracted to years ago, the kind that nearly got her killed.

“sevika, come sit with me.” her neighbor says, derailing her train of thought. she practically has to drag sevika over to the pews as she stares at the buildings interior, feelings of fear and comfort flooding through her veins and stunning her.

she’s too busy taking in her surroundings to realize that the service has started, and she’s quickly reminded of how much she hates places like this. a large, beautiful room full of people. a community. something bad could happen at any moment, and she’d be in no shape to help any of them.

small droplets of blood fill her mouth one at a time as she anxiously chews on her bottom lip. she knows it’s a bad habit, but it’s oddly comforting. the metallic taste is just a reminder that she’s still alive, that the blood is still inside of her body instead of splattered across the floor. gross, ugh, don’t think of that.

in an attempt to tune out the preacher’s sermon, she decides to study the people around her. it’s a harsh reminder of past events, she swears she can almost recognize the faces of the dead bodies in them. all ages, young and old. parents cradling their newborn babies, seniors admiring their lover’s white hair, kids swinging their feet out in front of them in an attempt to stay occupied.

she tries to push these morbid thoughts away from her brain, but it’s not easy. it’s her minds default, it’s why she hasn’t stepped foot in any sort of large building in years. by some miracle, she’s survived a bombing once, how on earth could she do it again?

but to her luck, the ceremony is over before she knows it, and she’s about to escape before her neighbor yanks her back by the collar of her jacket. she pouts, rolls her eyes, and turns around to face her.

“meet my neighbor, sevika. this is her first time joining us.”

“nice to meet you, sevika.” and the man sticks his arm out to sevika, awaiting a returned hand shake. she doesn’t return it though, and she doesn’t even look at him. instead she just stares at the floor and says “yeah… thanks…”

her neighbor nudges her shoulder for being rude, but she doesn’t owe anyone anything. she doesn’t know if the man who tried to shake her hand is same guy who’s been blabbering on this whole time, but if it is, she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“sevika, what the hell was that? i didn’t bring you here to be rude, i brought you here to learn something.”

sevika scoffs with a fake laugh, “i don’t need you to parent me.”

“then stop acting like a kid, let’s go meet more people.”

how was she gonna get out of this? oh well, in only a few hours she’ll be home again, resting and recharging in bed under the covers. she follows behind her neighbor like a lost puppy, not even looking in front of her, just staring down and making sure that she’s following the correct pair of shoes.

you greet sevika’s neighbor warmly, she’s a familiar face you’re always glad to see. sevika’s figure almost startles you when you peek up, almost. but you get yourself under control, asking the sweet older woman “who’s this?”

“this is sevika, my neighbor. it’s her first time joining us today.”

“oh! nice to meet you, sevika.” you smile, keeping your hands to yourself. sevika doesn’t know what to think of you, you’re so… different from everyone else here. you’re not dressed like everyone else, you look more like sevika than you do the others. but she wouldn’t expect someone like you to work at a church, would she? god, how the world has changed.

“nice to meet you.” she says, not bothering to attempt a weak smile, but giving a cordial nod in your direction anyways.

“we hope to see you around here soon. if you need anything, you know where to find me. although, you look like you’re in good hands.” you offer, giving sevika’s neighbor a friendly pat on the shoulder. sevika watches you walk off, wishing she could dissect you a little more. but she doesn’t hesitate to exit the building when her neighbor declares that it’s time to leave.

“are you hungry?” her neighbor asks once they’re in the car.

sevika’s mouth speaks before she can stop herself, “yes. starving.”

“good, you’ll come over for brunch. that wasn’t a question, by the way.” she smiles.

sevika rolls her eyes and almost smiles back. almost. but the ache in her lower back is making it hard to be happy in this moment.

her neighbor’s apartment is quite grandmotherly, to put it nicely. she has two cats— a black ball of fluff named “fluffy” and a skinny, all white cat named “snowy”, both of which were named by her grandchildren. there are plants and paintings and handmade quilts littering her place, every one of them having a story behind it. it’s cute, sure, but a little bit too maximalist for sevika’s enjoyment. at least she has furniture. good quality furniture.

a steaming teacup is placed in front of her seat at the counter, and both of the cats jump up to check it out. in all honesty, sevika thinks it’s kinda gross to live with animals. she doesn’t know where the hell those cats paws have been, and if it were up to her they wouldn’t be on the kitchen counter.

the cats waddle over to sevika, getting too close to comfort in an attempt to investigate the strange woman sitting at their counter. once she’s deemed safe, they raise their backs and point their tails up as if to ask for pets, but sevika scowls and awkwardly scoots away from the strange animals.

“not a cat person?” her neighbor laughs.

“no… not an animal person in general, really.”

“they’re sweet. give ‘em a pet.”

“no thanks…”

“fine. but you better eat up before they eat it for you.” her neighbor says, shoving a tall stack of pancakes in front of sevika. it’s a heavenly sight, and she almost feels bad for eating it instead of staring at the masterpiece for a while longer.

but that hungry pit in her stomach only grows and shoves itself against her stomach, so she has no choice to dig in. not that she’s complaining, and they taste absolutely divine. she grows uncomfortable again, last time she felt divine was the worst day of her life. it’s almost like a curse— one that never lets her feel true enjoyment.

fluffy and snowy meow loudly at her neighbor for food too, so she grabs a small dish and starts plopping some wet food onto it. again, sevika can’t fathom why someone would do that. on the counter? where she’s eating? but it’s not her apartment, so she keeps her mouth full of pancakes to stop the complaints.

she can’t wait to get home. checking the time, she realizes that it’s now afternoon. this has been the most eventful day she’s lived through in a while, and that triggers her anxiety to tone everything down. she needs a drink and a nap, so she thanks her neighbor and heads one door up the hall to her own apartment.

her door is unlocked, just how she left it, and she realizes that the only valuable thing in her apartment might be her liquor cabinet. maybe she should get a lock after all. add that to the list.

she guzzles down some whiskey directly from the bottle before stopping to take a breath. with how much she’s been drinking lately, she barely gets drunk anymore. it’s not fair, she might just have to find something stronger. jesus christ, i’m gonna drink myself to death. before she has a chance to bury herself back in bed, her phone rings. how strange, she hasn’t gotten a call in years. but what choice does she have, other than to lift up the receiver?

“yes?” she groans.

“hello,” you greet, a bit disturbed that someone would answer the phone with just ‘yes?’ “is this sevika?”

“who are you?”

“i’m from the church, we met earlier.”

“oh… okay… so…?”

“so, i wanted to tell you that i meant it when i said i hope you join us again. it was nice to see you, we rarely get any newcomers in this small town but… i can tell that you’re different.”

“okay…” sevika says. there is no way she’s stepping foot in that building again. jesus christ himself could not drag her in there.

“so… you’ll come?”

“i still need to be convinced.”

“easy. but i’ll need you to show up for that.”

“maybe.” she says, and you feel like you can hear a hint of promise in her voice.

“okay, well, have a good rest of your day. i’ll see you soon. maybe.” you say, about to hang up.

“how did you get my number?” she questions.

“helen gave it to me.”

“…who?”

“your neighbor? helen?”

“oh… right.” how could she not know her own neighbor’s name?

“sevika, don’t worry.” you assure her. “i’ll help you believe.” and the line goes quiet.

iv. I WILL DELIVER, YOU KNOW I’M A FORGIVER

that day was the first time you saw sevika, and you wish you could live in that moment forever. she was so soft and so sharp at the same time, and it was surprisingly harmonious. her physical features were striking, she looked almost… scary. but that scariness was easily cancelled out by her gentleness.

her cheeks were thin and sunken, but her chin effortlessly faded into the smooth skin of her neck. her nose stuck straight out of her head, but there was a slight curve to it that made you wanna run a gentle fingertip over it. her eyes were bright and silver, but they were so big and so round. she was tall, sticking up higher than anyone else in the room, but her hips and thighs were so plush and thick, she took up just the right amount of space.

she was just plain gorgeous. usually you’d scold yourself for thinking about another woman this way, but you’d been slowly coming to terms with your sexuality. as long as you don’t act on it.

from the moment you laid eyes on her, you knew you had to guide her. it was like some sort of fate or destiny. here’s this immaculate woman showing up in front of you in desperate need of help, your help specifically. it was a perfect mission, you’d do anything in her power to earn her trust and to help her feel that faith.

by some miracle, she answered the phone when you rang. judging by her previous attitude, you almost expected her to storm back down to the church and smack you across the face. your conversation was unproductive, sure, but it was a good start. well, if she decides to show up, that is. you don’t doubt her, if anything you can just ask her neighbor to force her to tag along again.

the mental image of her floats around in your head all day. what are you gonna do when she does show up? give her some sort of speech? she’ll probably just tune you out like she does to the rest of the world. you wonder why she acts the way she does, there’s no way anybody with a normal life could act this guarded. you just hope she opens up eventually, you’d kill to get to know her.

sevika’s not amused. she doesn’t want anyone’s help, or to pretend to have faith in something that’s all just make believe. really, the only thing she wants is some peace and quiet, and for the pain in her shoulders to lessen. before returning to her den, she sluggishly trudges to the kitchen cupboards, yanking them open in search of some painkillers. to her luck, there are two small pills left, which she quickly downs. she chooses water over whiskey this time, shockingly, because she’s a little bit frightened by drinking herself to death. which is strange, and she wonders why she values her life so much.

no matter what you do, you can’t get this woman off of your mind. something about her makes you feel different than how other people make you feel, but you can’t tell what it is or why. you need a plan. you need to talk to her again. or at least some confidence would be handy. but instead of dwelling on it, you decide to go for a walk.

the walk doesn’t really work though, it actually does the opposite of clearing your mind. you have nothing to focus on, no work to do, so you just think. your mind runs wild the whole time. you’re so intrigued, so excited yet nervous, you feel like it’s almost a craving. almost, because you’re not really sure what a craving is. not until you meet her, at least.

after swallowing her pain meds, sevika crawls back into bed, the heavy feeling of anxiety that settled over her chest slowly but surely fades, and she’s eased into a light afternoon nap. the plain white walls of her room offer some familiar comfort, but the more she looks at them, the more she’s reminded of the hospital. fuck, maybe she should try to decorate the place. and she really does need to go shopping later.

——

she wakes up nearly three hours later feeling more exhausted than before she slept. at least she feels a bit more calm, but the looming feeling of her responsibilities made her groan. another reason why she doesn’t want pets: it’s another mouth to feed, to walk, clean up after, bathe, spend time with. she can barely do those things for herself, how on earth could she do it for something else?

rather than pouting about her responsibilities, she makes the tough decision to get out of bed and get started with her day. get started meaning that it’s almost 6:00pm and she’s only just now attempting to complete her to-do list. and so what? she lives on her own terms. she doesn’t bother brushing her messy hair after her nap, even less to keep it out of her face with a little half ponytail. it never works anyways, the wind whips it all around you until it sticks to the sides of your face with humidity.

so, that’s it then, and she shoves her shoes and her coat on and leaves. the door stays unlocked, of course, and she makes her way down the stairwell and out of the building. there’s a small grocery store on her block which is conveniently located next to a liquor store. if she has the funds after buying her necessities, she’ll stop in there for a treat. actually, she’ll probably stop in there anyways, but she likes to think that she still has some self control left when it comes to drinking.

does she remember what she needed to buy? no. and did she bother to write down her mental shopping list as it came to her? nope! but it’ll come to her. hopefully. she spends the whole walk there trying to focus on what she needs to spend her money on and what she wants to spend her money on. she needs more painkillers, more snacks, some sort of decoration for her place, and… was there something else?

she crosses into the store and she’s immediately greeted by the sound of loud pop music buzzing through the speakers. great, so she’s overstimulated already. she’ll make it quick, she decides, it’s not like she wanted to be here in the first place.

sauntering down the aisles, she picks up everything she needs. at least, everything she remembers that she needs. she grabs a large bottle of extra strength ibuprofen, more bread and butter, microwave meals, milk and eggs, and what else? before she can think of another thing to add, she decides to just leave. if she thinks of anything else, she can always just come back later.

her shoulders sag under the weight of her basket, full of stuff that’ll probably just rot in her fridge. as she approaches the register, she sighs as the man behind it attempts to strike up a conversation with her. she’s not interested, she never has been, and she has no clue why he insists on chatting with her every time she’s there.

she doesn’t respond to the man the entire time she’s there, just staring daggers past him. she doesn’t even muster out a “good evening” or “goodnight”. i mean jesus, even a “fuck you” might’ve been polite. it’s not like she cares.

but she does stop by the liquor store on the way home, as we knew she would. she decides to treat herself, picking up not only one, but two bottles off of the shelf. whiskey and vodka, not cheap but it does the job. the money will come back around anyways. the man behind the counter, this time stoned out of his mind, asks her what she’s gonna do with the alcohol.

“what am i gonna do with it?” she repeats, obviously annoyed and confused. “what the fuck do you think?”

“mannnn, i bet you could make a hundred bottles of homemade mouthwash with this stuff. fucking awesome.”

sevika rolls her eyes and collects the large glass bottles, shoving them into her bag as gently as she can. she has no idea why everyone’s so interested in talking with her tonight, it’s like she’s wearing a glowing neon sign above her head that says “TALK TO ME!”

does she look approachable? happy? friendly? welcoming? no, obviously not. she must not be part of this inside joke the world is playing on her tonight.

so you’re surprised to see sevika when you’re out for your second walk of the night. pacing around in your own house wasn’t working, and all you wanted was some fresh air. well, maybe not fresh, but the temperature definitely did shock you. you almost walked right past her until you recognized her statuesque figure. she was across the parking lot, rolling her eyes and shoving the door to the liquor shop open as she stepped back outside.

huh. sevika at a liquor shop. not necessarily unusual for a person, but forbidden for you. you wonder if this is a ritual for her, if she’s gonna go home and get drunk or something, or maybe if she’s gonna split the bottle with some friends. does she even have friends?

you turn around and head in the same direction she does, hoping your paths cross before her quick, long strides can leave you behind. and you eventually catch up to her, pretending you had no idea you’d run into her, you greet her with a “oh, sevika! hey, i didn’t expect to see you here.” except, you did expect to see her here. you already spied her storming out of the liquor store. ugh, you’re such a bad liar.

“oh… hi.” she mumbles, a little disturbed by your sudden appearance, and already burnt out from the two people who’ve made small talk with her in the past hour. while you stand in front of her, she raises her eyebrow slightly as if to signal that she’s waiting for you to say something before she walks away.

“i’ll see you next week, yeah?” you remind her, not really sure of what to say. partly because the meeting is so sudden, and partly because this woman is breathtaking.

“yeah, maybe.” she agrees halfheartedly.

“i don’t want your ‘maybe’s sevika. i want you to say yes to me.” you challenge, huffing at her indecisiveness. “if you want me to help you, i need a yes.”

“help me with what?” she asks, pretending to be shocked and offended at your words. you stutter, staring up at her with a sorry look in your eyes.

“oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—”

“i’m just fucking with you.” she says, chuckling to herself and offering a small smile. and as if her face couldn’t get any more perfect, you notice a small gap between two of her top teeth. she’s so beautiful you feel like you’re gonna melt, even in this chilly autumn weather.

before you think about what you’re saying next, you blurt out a “tomorrow? can i see you tomorrow?”

she raises her eyebrows at your bluntness, the suggestion seems to come out of nowhere. but what else does she have to do? and she already feels bad for fucking with you all of the time, shouldn’t she just give in and attend whatever stupid meeting you have planned for her?

“i— i guess, yeah.”

“you guess?” you tease. “or you will show up?”

“i will. i’ll see you tomorrow.” she admits with a huff.

“good, i’ll see you tomorrow too then.” you say, and you offer her a small wave before walking past her and continuing with your walk. after seeing her, your mind automatically feels so much clearer considering the fact that she was the one occupying all of your thoughts.

sevika stands frozen in place as you walk away, holding her bag in her hand as she reflects on what she just agreed to. why the fuck would she say yes to that? she doesn’t believe in any of your religious bullshit, and she doesn’t care to try. but it’s too late, she’ll just have to let you down easy when tomorrow comes.

but when tomorrow does come, she decides to go a little bit easier on herself. it’s not like you’re trying to annoy her with all of your beliefs and jargon and whatnot, and she can tell that this actually does mean a lot to you. plus, she’s in a good mood after remembering that she bought two new bottles of alcohol. she even ate a little bit last night and managed to keep it all down, which is a rare occurrence for her. so yeah, it might be a good day.

the sun peeks out just a tiny bit from behind the clouds as she walks herself back to the church, which offers a nice, although minuscule, bit of warmth. you’re already there by the time she arrives, and you greet her with a warm smile and invite her down the long hallway to your ‘office’. it’s not technically a real office since you don’t do too much work other than filing papers and planning events, you just begged them to give you a room that you could sit alone in sometimes.

you don’t have any sort of plan on how you’re gonna convert sevika, or how to at least help her fix up her life a little bit, but you do wanna get to know her. so you start with that. you ask her where she’s from and if she’s lived here her whole life, and you’re surprised to learn that she used to work in new york. all the way across the country.

she hesitates to tell you why she left though, saying she’d rather save it for a later session when she gets more comfortable. which she regrets almost instantly, because she just solidified herself another few meetings like these. she tells you more, like how she was always close with her mother until she passed when sevika was only ten. and how she definitelty inherited some anger from her dad, even though she never liked him.

her childhood was interesting. to you at least. she was just stable enough to keep herself afloat, but unstable enough for her to be left with some sort of trauma. she moved out as soon as she reached eighteen and never looked back. she scoured for jobs that would be good for someone like her, someone broken but strong. resilient, you call it.

the two of you chat for nearly three hours, you asking questions after question and her answering nearly all of them. but the one question that you’re too scared to ask is this: what happened that turned her into… this? she said it had something to do with her job, something that just completely broke her and left her unable to snap back. but what was it? how bad could it have been? what job did she have? was it her fault? but you did agree to letting her tell you on her own terms, so you’ll just have to wait until she’s ready.

eventually your time is up, and you walk sevika back out of the double doors of the small building. she flashes you a small smile, one that you’re already obsessed with, and she turns to leave.

“wait.” you call after her, although she’s only about six feet away from you. “you don’t have a car?”

“no.”

“how did you get here?”

“i… walked…” she says, waiting for you to get to your point.

“all this way?”

“it’s only about a block and a half.”

“but— well…” now you feel bad. you didn’t know that you were forcing her to exercise her exhausted joints and muscles in this weather. sure, maybe she doesn’t mind, but if you were her you’d probably throw a tantrum. “do you want me to drive you?” you ask.

“sure, if you really want to.”

“of course i want to.” you say, and you practically drag her off of the sidewalk and shove her into the passenger side of your car. the drive is short, her building really is just about a block and a half away.

“i’ll see you next week.” you say.

“yeah, see you then.” she responds, and for once it doesn’t feel forced or awkward.

“and tell helen i say hi if you see her. assuming you know who she is?” you giggle.

“yes, i know my own neighbor.” she says, rolling her eyes and chuckling.

“just making sure…” you tease.

sevika just laughs and waves you goodbye through your front window, disappearing into the building and up the stairs. you don’t even register it— to busy with staring at her back— but eventually it hits you that she laughed. this mysterious, guarded woman laughed at something you said. and she spent the last three hours opening up to you about her life. and for the first time in quite a while, you feel like you’re finally good at your job.

——

sevika’s been following through on her promise, meeting you for exactly four weeks now. twenty eight days. you started out with just seeing her twice a week, then every other day, and now you see each other daily. she opened up to you about how much she hates the church setting, how it activates her fight or flight response and brings up old memories, so you switched to taking her to a small local cafe instead.

it’s great. you get to have real coffee, not the burnt stuff from the coffee pot in the church’s kitchen. you’ve also been forcing sevika to eat after learning that it’s been a struggle for her. nothing big, but you make sure she always has at least a muffin or a croissant in her stomach. you pick her up and driving her there too, which is good for her because she can finally relax instead of being worn out from walking everywhere.

she’s taken a liking to you, every morning she’s glad she wakes up because she knows she can see you again. it’s such a strange feeling, but she enjoys it. opening up to you wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be either. you listen so attentively, and you’re always careful to ask appropriate questions and give her a break without her even having to ask for one.

it’s never been easy for her to talk about what happened in her past, and she wishes she had the ability to forget about it completely. but it’s easier with you. every time her eyes grow wide and teary as she pictures the bodies, you change the topic and point at a cute dog outside of the window. or when she gets choked up, stumbling over her words because the brutality of the situation is just too much for her, you let her take her time.

the most memorable moment for her was when she told you about that kid with the blue hair. everything else, sevika managed to stay under control about. sure, the mangled body parts and the melted flesh was bad, but that fucking kid. her lips were still blue. she’d been so alive only moments earlier, smiling as sevika gave her a fist bump and held her in her arms, and she was gone just like that.

when she told you, she couldn’t help but break down in heavy sobs. you could feel your heart shatter at this— the story and sevika’s reaction to it. you scrambled from your side of the booth to hers, scooting in next to her and wrapping her up in a hug as she cried. to your surprise, she hugged you back. she hooked her chin over your shoulder, grabbed you tightly in her strong arms, and just let herself go.

it’s the most tranquility she’s ever felt, and it put all of her past therapists to shame. immediately after that day, the two of you were bonded. you’d do anything for her. be a shoulder to cry on, drive her to and from her various doctors appointments, and make sure she’s eating.

she’s started to trust you, and she agreed to going back to the church with you a few times a week. instead of taking your usual spot with the rest of the staff and speakers, you sit with her every time. sevika on your left, her neighbor on your right.

today you’re feeling particularly bold for some reason, you suspect it might be because of your friendship with sevika, but this feels different. well, you know how it feels, but you’re scared to admit it. although you’ll probably be fine, you’re hesitant to say it to yourself out of the fear that you’ll be thrown out of the church. yes, you like sevika, and sure, she is a beautiful woman. but you just can’t bring yourself to say it. to say that you have a real crush on her. to admit that you want her.

so instead of saying anything, you use your actions instead. glancing over both of your shoulders, you make sure that nobody important is looking in your direction before you snake your hand forward and wrap your hand around sevika’s. this action is the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone, and your cheeks are practically on fire with how hard you’re blushing. you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole building could hear your heartbeat right now.

sevika adjusts her fingers so that she’s gripping your hand firmly, and you feel so… dirty, almost. you know that this is nothing, but you’re scared and ashamed of what other people might think. but although it initially feels wrong, you settle down when you realize that nobody’s looking— even more that nobody cares— and it feels so right. her hands are surprisingly warm and soft, they feel so welcoming and familiar against yours.

maybe, just maybe, you’ll hold her hand more often. but for now, this is just a one-time occurrence.

she notices the panicked look in your eyes as you stare straight ahead. she tries to nudge you gently, but you’re in such a deep stupor that you don’t notice it.

“hey.” she whispers, elbowing you a bit harder than last time. “you okay?”

you realize now that she’s trying to talk to you, so you just squeeze her hand and give her a small nod, blinking your eyes a few times and trying to snap back into reality. once the ceremony is over, you stand and walk sevika and her neighbor to the door quickly.

“are you sure you’re alright?” she asks again.

“yeah, it’s nothing.”

“you know that… this works both ways, right?” she says, gesturing between both of your bodies. “if you need someone to talk to, i can listen.”

“i know, thank you.” you start. “but it’s not like that. it’s nothing… bad. i think? but i’m fine. or— i will be fine.” you say, stumbling over your words incredibly hard.

“you don’t seem fine to me.” she retorts.

“i am, thank you though. get home safely.” you choke out, missing a crucial part to your signature goodbye’s.

“…see you tomorrow?” she asks.

“oh, yes! see you tomorrow, i knew i was forgetting something.”

sevika flicks you on the forehead, before turning to leave. “get some rest, then.”

“i will.” you laugh, although it’s forced.

as soon as her and her neighbor are out of sight, you turn around and make a beeline for your office at the end of the hall. your eyes are glued to the floor, purposefully ignoring anyone’s gaze in case they try to chat with you.

the door clicks locked behind you, and you slump down in our office chair. with your head in your hands, you start to cry. the anxiety in your chest is just too much to handle, and you’re so upset with yourself. you’re upset because it felt so good to be that close to her, and you let yourself indulge in something you know you’ll never get to have. you allowed yourself to catch feelings, but you know you can’t go any further. you’ll have to stick with just thinking she’s pretty and sweet and yours, and watch her fall in love with another woman.

worst of all, she’ll probably fall in love with a woman who’s the total opposite of you. someone who’s experienced and not awkward and cool. and not you. and this really hurts to realize.

what are you supposed to do now? now that you’ve admitted how you feel to yourself, what else is there to do? you can’t ask her out on a date, that would be against everything your community believes in. but are you really supposed to just sit here and play along? it’s not fair. your adrenaline is so high right now that all you really want to do is run.

and that's just what you do. you don't even bother to use the exit door down the hallway, you just peel your window open and hop out of it. tears prickle your eyes and the frosty air nips at your skin, but it helps even out your overheating temperature. you’ve walked this route a millions times already, it’s nothing different but the gentle scenery offers a nice place to think.

you think about all of the sweet moments you’ve shared together, specifically about how much it means to you. you’ve never really had a friend like this before. sure, you’re convivial, but having someone like this was so different. she was yours. and you’d gladly be hers if she asked you to, but would she ask you to? would she ever ask someone like you to be hers?

but you also think about how much your religion means to you. you’ve been part of this for so long, working harder to have a strong sense of faith every single day. if you get with sevika, they could cut you off in an instant, and it would’ve all been for nothing. your reputation would be ruined, and if you’d ever wanna start over with another church, you’d have to leave this small town. leave your home.

it’s just not fair. why did god make you this way? for everyone else, falling in love with a man is no problem. they were made the right way, or at least know how to ignore their true feeling really well. was there some sort of secret lesson that you missed? that everyone is in on besides you?

once you get dizzy and out of breath, you find a stump to sit on and reflect. your shoes kick at the dirt underneath you, brain fuzzy as you try to decide on what to do. little bugs crawl around on the ground beneath you, each one of them having a family and a home. i wish i could have a family, you think. you can hear rain pattering on the leaves of the trees above you, but you stay dry. well, as dry as you possibly can be living this close to the ocean.

you don’t even realize how long you’ve been sitting here lost in your thoughts before the sky turns a lovely light shade of orange, and you realize you’d better leave now if you wanna get back before dark. the only thing on your mind as always is sevika.

sevika has been thinking about you all night too, wondering if you’re okay after the way you acted. she won’t push, she wants to give you time to open up to her the same way you did, but she just worries. and she misses the warmth of your hand in hers, although she could tell you were nervous. in her opinion, it was cute. she admires how gentle you are, how you always make sure others are alright before making sure you are alright. but whatever it is, she doesn’t doubt that you’ll be fine.

leaving your window open was a stupid idea, now your entire office is cold and there’s a puddle of rainwater leaking down the bottom of the window and onto the floor. but you’ve made up your mind. you need to call her. you know that she’s infinitely more experienced with these feelings than you are, so she’ll be able to help you, even if those feelings are about her.

she’s about to go to bed early when her phone rings again. she knows it’s you before she even picks up— you’re the only one with her number.

“yes?”

“…sevika.” you sob out, the small whimper of her name followed by sniffles and cries.

“holy shit, are you okay?” she asks frantically, scared that maybe you’re hurt or something.

“well… physically yes. but i just… miss you. i need to talk to you in person.”

“okay, yeah. i’m on my way.” she says, and she practically flies out of her building and down the street to get to you. it’s not late, but the sky is already pitch black due to how early the sun sets. you meet her at the door again when she arrives, and the sight of her instantly calms your nerves. she looks so worried, it makes your heart twist. you’re so in love and it’s all her fault.

she doesn’t hesitate to wrap you up in her arms as you sob into her shoulder, and this gesture only makes you sob harder. because you’re so in love and you think you know which side you’re choosing. and it breaks your heart.

“what’s going on?” she asks, and you realize you’re still standing in the doorway.

“come inside, i’ll explain.”

“okay…” she whispers. “did something happen?”

“i have a question.”

“of course. ask me anything.”

“do you ever…” you trail off, trying to find the right words. “feel like… like you can’t live without someone? and you’d give up anything to be with them?”

“yeah, i guess i’ve felt that way before.” she admits quizzically.

“what’s it called?” you ask, although you already know the answer.

“love?” she guesses.

“sevika, can i tell you something?”

“yeah, go ahead.” she says, worried that maybe you’re about to admit to killing someone.

“i think…” you start, but you get interrupted by tears dripping past your eyes and down your cheeks.

“spit it out,” she prompts. “you can trust me.”

“i think i’m in love with you.” you blurt out, biting the bullet.

“oh…” she says, and she almost steps away from you before she realizes that you’re crying again. so she wraps you in another hug and rubs your back. you grip onto her so hard you can barely breathe, and you cry in her arms for so long that you’re brought to your knees. sevika holds you even after you fall the the floor, keeling before you as your knees give out.

she’s in love with you too, but she didn’t wanna say anything in case it made you uncomfortable. plus, she’s not really into corruption or anything, so she decided to just respect your boundaries. but eventually her joints grew sore of sitting on the floor, so she rose, holding your face in her hands and wiping up all of your tears as they fall.

v. REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH

every little thing about her attracted you. sevika was a lost soul, mysterious above all. a woman who needed help and direction but was so strong, you swore she could hold the whole world on her shoulders, no matter how much she’d whine about the pain. she complains about people— how there are too many of them and how they’re all stupid— but she’d give her life in a heartbeat to save them.

you couldn’t crack her, no matter how hard you tried.

she looked down at you with her silver eyes sparkling in the candlelight, her hair falling over her face in a silky curtain. you gasped as her thick hands took their place on either side of your head, each one cupping your cheeks so tenderly although they have a rough exterior. you always knew she was capable of being gentle.

you looked up at her from your position on your knees, her torso looking impossibly longer than usual. something comes over you, something that warms up your stomach until you feel so dizzy you feel the need to reach for something to steady yourself. unaware of just how much trouble this would get you in, you end up grabbing for her upper thighs. they’re so thick that your hands are almost completely flat, but they’re sturdy. perfect for grabbing onto.

she chuckles at your flushed state, huffing out an amused “it’s alright, you can touch me if you want. you won’t burst into flames.”

those two sentences make your cheeks heat up involuntarily. you know what she’s implying, and it makes you feel strangely electric. if you don’t burst into flames by this act of sinning, you’ll burst into flames due to how flustered you are. she does something to you that feels so enchanting, like some sort of spell she’s casted. you’ve been frozen in place for so long that you hardly register the soft caress of her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks. if she were medusa, you’d get turned to stone in an instant.

“sevika, what are you— we should—”

“what are you thinking about right now?” she asks, tauntingly putting an end to your stuttering mess of a sentence.

“uh— medusa. and you. you remind me of her.” you choke out, reaching up and gripping onto her biceps before hauling yourself up.

“how so?”

“i always feel like you put me under some kind of spell. like when i’m with you i’m frozen in place. in a good way.” you respond, your breath tickling her face as you gaze up at her from a closer distance this time.

most of your dizziness has relented, and now you sense something softer in the way sevika gazes at you. like she’s pleading for something she doesn’t know how to ask for. she stammers back, almost hitting the wall, and you grow concerned. the roles have shifted. little do you know, you’re in power now. she feels… weak. and needy. something tingly settles in her stomach, she can’t decipher whether it’s anxiety or horniness.

“sevika?” you ask with concern, slowly walking over to where she’s pressed against the wall. her chest heaves as she breathes deeply, and she shivers when you reach out to grab her hand. “are you feeling alright?”

“i don’t think i can do this anymore.” she confesses, her big, silver eyes growing glossy with tears. “i’m— i can’t do this to you.”

“what are you talking about?” you attempt to soothe, worried that maybe she’s suddenly gotten possessed or something.

“you belong here, sevika. you’re not doing anything wrong. if anything, it’s me who should back off right now.”

“it’s not about that.” she sighs, unable to meet your gaze, her eyes instead settling for your lips. a sight she’s seen many times before in her most erotic fantasies.

“what are you feeling right now?” you ask, your therapist persona settling over you in case she’s about to reveal more of her past trauma.

“i… i can’t say it.” she whispers, now solely focused on the curve of your lips and how they’re still shining from the last time your tongue trailed over them.

“you can trust me.” you whisper back. “always.”

sevika studies your words in her mind, hoping that you’d still mean them if you could see the thoughts running wild in her mind right now. she inches closer to you and her nose almost brushes yours. the tension in the room makes her squirm, thighs pressing together in an attempt to soothe the ache between them. somehow, in some strange way, this feels better than sex. better than anything she’s ever smoked, any liquid she could get drunk on.

you are her intoxicant. her stronger substance. her higher power. her breath of fresh air in this humid town. you are what she’s been searching for.

before she makes another move, she pauses. you’re looking at her with such concern, such love, her heart feels like it’s gonna burst. she theorizes that you’re aware of exactly what she’s thinking, but she has no way to know. sevika wonders how you’d react if she leaned forward and kissed you right now.

you have a sneaking suspicion that she’s thinking of something… lustful right now. it shows in her eyes. wide with pupils big and blown out, and the silver in them is practically glittering. she looks pretty, you think, and soft. and although it’s against almost everything you believe in, you probably wouldn’t mind if she leaned in right now and just—

her lips come crashing against yours, a beautiful harmony of carnal aggression and tender care. gravity suddenly feels about twenty times stronger, and you near collapse in sevika’s strong arms. instead of that, you regain your balance after stumbling and back her against the wall. her back hits it with a thud, and she whimpers into your mouth. she whimpers.

it’s as if everything you’ve ever believed in suddenly floods out of your mind. you don’t care which god sees you kissing another woman with such animal desire. somehow it doesn’t matter to you anymore. all that matters is sevika. her safety, her trust, her pleasure.

for once, you allow yourself to feel this way. although it feels wrong, it’s so freeing. you’re an adult for god’s sake, and you’ve missed out on so much due to the strict rules of the church. you want this, you deserve this. after all, it is technically your job to guide sevika, to make her feel good. how is this any different?

as her lips part, you take the chance to slide your tongue over hers. just a gentle brush, but the warm heat of her mouth drives you crazy. her hands claw at your hips, pulling you closer until there’s no gap between the pair of you. this level of closeness isn’t something you’re used to, but fuck, it feels so right.

you can feel the way her thighs tighten when she squirms and clenches them together, feel her own tits rub against yours through your clothes. the intimacy of the moment almost feels awkward, especially because it’s completely silent other than the sounds of your lips smacking together. but before you can dwell on the embarrassment crashing over you, sevika grounds you by moaning your name into your mouth.

as if you weren’t already turned on, this flips a switch and activates something in you that’s a hundred times stronger. both of you pant when you pull back, staring into the silver pools of sevika’s irises. you need her. now. in every way possible.

“take your clothes off.” you demand. sevika nods momentarily, but she hesitates.

“are you sure? we don’t need to— if you’re not comfortable with it that’s fi—”

“now, sevika.” you huff at her attempt to be gentlemanly, but you know she’s craving this as much as you are.

without another word, she strips herself of her shirt, leaving her in just a black sports bra and jeans. you halt your own undressing to stare at her. and god. she’s fucking perfect. her abdomen carries the remnants of what you assume used to be a thick six pack of abs. and although you can’t exactly see them yet, her tits are wide and heavy looking, her ribs poking out slightly under them.

something that you didn’t expect to turn you on is her happy trail. she’s got a thick line of dark, coarse hair running from her belly button all the way down to—

her pants drop to the floor as you continue to stare at her, and your eyes trail lower and lower until they reach the ground. her thighs look impossibly thicker, and you’re surprised about how much she complains about her body. she looks so strong, like nothing could ever hurt her. and as for being insecure? impossible for someone who looks as good as she does. you’d do anything to make her aware of just how beautiful she is.

as she stands almost naked before you, she peeps out a timid “your turn.”

before you think twice, you tackle her to the floor, crushing her lips under yours and shoving your tongue back into her mouth. she whimpers when she hits the ground, albeit mostly out of pain instead of pleasure. you slightly pull away with a gasp, concerned about potentially hurting her— the opposite of your intentions.

“fuck, sorry.” you groan against her lips. “did i hurt you?”

“it’s alright.” she responds. “worth it to have a pretty thing like you on top of me.”

with that, you’re kissing her even deeper, grabbing onto the back of her head to get a better angle with your tongue. she shuffles slightly under you, bucking her hips up as she unbuttons your own pants. shit, you think to yourself, i’ve never done this before.

your bottoms are quickly discarded, sevika throws them somewhere behind you the second they’re off. you’re dying to get your hands on her tits, but you don’t know how to ask. it’s a good think she can always tell what you’re thinking, because she reaches up to hook her thumbs under her bra and yank it off. and god, you were right. her tits are wide and heavy, they’re so smooth and round with the most perfect brown nipples sitting proudly in the center of each one.

you lean forward to give each one a kiss, just a gentle brush, but it doesn’t really satisfy your craving for her. you pout, you’re so horny that it hurts. no matter what article of clothing she removes, it’s not enough. you just wanna crawl inside of her and live there.

“what’s wrong?” she asks.

“i need you.”

“have you ever had sex before?”

“no. i have no idea what i’m doing.”

“guess it’s my turn to guide you.” she laughs, and although the joke was stupid, you giggle too. you didn’t know it could be this fun.

she shuffles under you as she slides her boxers off, and you almost drool at the sight of her bush. it’s just so… beautiful. and intimate. she pats your hips as a signal to scoot off of her, and she spreads her legs before manhandling you to sit your cunt on top of hers. as soon as you connect your cunt with hers, you swear you black out.

it all feels so good. she keeps spreading her legs wider to help you get a better angle against her clit, and you can feel it throbbing against yours. you thought holding her hand was intimate, but this is so much more than you could’ve imagined.

“fuck, sevika.” you moan, tears crashing over you again and dripping onto her cheeks now. “you’re so beautiful.”

she groans at this, tears washing over her too. she hasn’t felt beautiful in so long, and here you are completely undoing her insecurities. all of the scars on her face, cheeks, neck, arms, and torso get kissed. you trail your fingers along some, your tongue along others. you want her to feel loved. you want her to feel the exact same way that she makes you feel.

“you’re beautiful too.” she admits sheepishly. “i can’t believe i haven’t fucked you sooner.”

this flusters you. it’s hard for you to believe that anyone can just be this confident saying things like that, especially because you’re not used to it. but it feels so good to be desired. to have the woman of your dreams using you to get off.

you’re both so sensitive that it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum. sevika’s catches her first after you tell her how beautiful her scars are, even though she used to believe they were the ugliest things known to mankind. she gasps as she cums, her thick cream leaking out of her cunt and down her ass.

you eventually follow after her when she readjusts, moving one of her hands down from your neck onto your hip. she grinds up into you, and your clit meets hers at such an angle that you cum with a scream. it’s dizzying. you gasp and moan and writhe as your orgasm crashes down over you. considering that it’s your first, you weren’t expecting it to be so enveloping. you were taught that sex was unholy, gross, sinful, and a plethora of other negative adjectives.

but it’s not.

you imagine that this is what heaven feels like, a shock of pleasure that runs through your body and leaves you panting and reeling. and it’s fun. as soon as you come down, sevika’s congratulating you on a good job and holding you close. you cry again, but this time not out of fear, out of certainty. you have it all figured out. you’ve just felt the best sensation of your life and here’s the love of your life smiling up from under you.

and so sevika holds you for another few minutes. yeah, you’re both naked in the middle of church, and yeah you’d be burned at the stake if anyone ever found out. but you wouldn’t mind that, as long as you have sevika with you.

“sevika?” you ask after a long while of silent kisses and tickling breaths.

“yeah?”

“i think we need to get out of here.”

“alright. where to?”

“i dunno. let’s leave the country.”

sevika laughs at this, and it’s a sound prettier than anything you’ve ever heard. something you’ll never get sick of. “fuck, i love you so much.”

but before convincing her to leave the country with you, you drive her to a small 24 hour diner down the street and have dinner together. it’s a real date, although all of those coffee shop meeting have gotta count for something too. you hold her hand across the table, this time not afraid, and share a milkshake just like they do in the movies.

so yeah, maybe things didn’t work out for you with this certain group of people, and maybe it does still take a while for you to get over your fear of societal rejection, but sevika is there for you every step of the way. as your girlfriend. officially.

OK HAIII if you made it all the way through my the treacherous jungle of my yap and you’re reading this, thank you so much!!!! i poured my entire heart and soul (and pussy) into this so i hope u enjoyed hehehe :P special thanks to pluto, rayray, eren, and lyss for allowing me to yap about this fic to them, i couldn’t have done it without you guys 🥹 my favorite people in the world right here, MWAH here’s a kiss from ennabear <3 and another thanks to the rest of my mutuals for putting up with the empty promises of “coming soon” at least it’s actually finished now!! i love all of you, let me know what you thought of this one!!! comments and reblogs are very highly appreciated 🤎🤎

#i’m so shocked that i actually finished this wtf 😭 BUT MY BABY IS HERE #PRIDE AND JOY IS FINALLY DONE COOKING #idk what else to say my brain is so fried i’ve been writing for so long #sevika #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x female reader #sevika x you #sevika arcane x reader #sevika smut #arcane sevika #arcane #arcane netflix #arcane league of legends #arcane season 2

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nouearth · 11 months ago

Text

teach me hard and soft.

pairing. zane phillips x male reader.

part two.

word count. 9.3k.

summary. the constant studying was getting to zane. reader helped his grades up, sure, but was it worth missing out on the parties where he could be dicking down random men and getting black-out drunk? reader's sudden proposition makes him think twice before quitting.

content warning. college!au, jock!zane, top!zane, nerd!reader, virgin!reader, bottom!reader, reader wears glasses, slight dom and sub dynamics, blowjob, dry-humping, rimming, praising, muscle and body worshipping, size difference, breeding, dirty talk, verbal, soft to rough!sex, a build to exposing reader to sexual intimacy!

Tutoring sessions were supposed to bring boredom. Mind-numbing monotony that wore heavy on Zane’s eyelids; weariness that steamrolled his mouth open with a yawn; frustration that made the inside of his head blare as his brain blended your explanations into a pasty mixture of nonsense. One word went in one ear and out the other, and another break would be enforced for the sake of his sanity on the surface. In actuality, Zane knew it was for your own mental soundness.

Yet upon the third meeting of the new week, redoing his calculus homework left him alert and excited—the complete opposite of boredom. It had little to do with the assignment at hand and everything to do with the man who was flipping through Zane’s textbook through brightened and adoring eyes like he was lost in the fantastical world of superheroes fighting for justice from panel to panel. It was you. You and him were polar opposites. Numbers were Zane’s kryptonite, while frankly, they were your super power, and evidently so as you’d complete multiple practice worksheets from Zane’s textbook to pass time. Until Zane was done with his own work.

It had become increasingly difficult to ignore you, especially with the incentive you had offered Zane last week if he completed the extra worksheets you assigned for practice—last week’s quiz was abysmal. Zane couldn’t get it off his mind—the idea of him tutoring you about all of life’s own intimacies. Instantly, an apparition of you; beneath him, over him, kissing, touching, feeling, squeezing, pleading; he snapped back to reality when he felt a warmth over his hand, and another source of heat swarming below his pelvis.

“Done? Looks like you corrected everything.” You peered over the opposite side of the short table, cross-legged on the floor like Zane beneath it.

“Oh—Uh, yeah. I had a little trouble with 4C, but…” Nonetheless, Zane slid the worksheet and a lined paper containing his proof of work towards you.

“Already looks like you’re getting the hand of it.”

It took a lot of willpower to stop himself from smiling when you perked up at the sight of his corrections.

Sunlight squinted through half-turned blinds in your bedroom, the sun bloated and content over the sheets of paper as you scanned them, comparing his answers and work to your own, and surprisingly marked them correct afterwards. Zane had a sigh of relief whenever you did, through briefly, because it would cycle again as you analyzed the next problem. Sometimes a little too long, though. Your brows would scrunch in confusion on how Zane came to that conclusion on a problem, but with a fix of your glasses, you tightened your gaze to analyze his work closer, and you marked it correct. That would repeat until you returned the worksheet with a score and a comment on top.

83%, Nice work!

It was like you were born to teach. You went over what Zane did correctly, what led to incorrect answers, what was missing in the formula, and what process that could save him the headache of memorizing. Every word came out of you like a story—a purpose to make sense of the world, of the problems you had given him. Your lips were distracting, minted breath tingling the inside of his nose—and god, how he wished he could taste it right now. And so, Zane endured a little longer, opened his ears, and made sure he was attentive, because he certainly wasn’t going to get that reward if he was slacking off.

“Nice job today! I’ll let you relax since you’ve been working hard. I know you have a match coming up, so…” You flipped through your binder of worksheets, unclasping it with a routine tug, and handed it to Zane. “Just finish problems one to four, is that okay?”

“Yeah. Perfect. Thanks.” Again, it took a lot of willpower for Zane to keep himself from smiling, especially since it seemed like you remembered his upcoming wrestling match. Like clockwork, he failed, blessing you with those pearly whites of his. As according to plan, you couldn’t spare a single second holding his gaze before feeling some type of way. Zane had picked up on your fidgeting—fingers, toes, and all—it was adorable.

Though, what wasn’t adorable was that you seemed to have treated this session like every other session, as if you hadn’t proposed that damn incentive that Zane had been working towards.

Did (M/N) forget? He couldn’t have, right? He was practically whining his way through when I began teasing him and—

And Zane would’ve been on his way out if he wasn’t so determined and unabashedly brazen.

“I thought I was going to teach you how to kiss.” Zane directly stated. Not as a question, but as a fact. You promised me this.

You caught your breath before you could choke on the water you were sipping. Instead, your shock was fleeting in the brights of your eyes.

“Oh—I… thought you forgot—“ You stammered through your surprise, and it only made Zane want you even more. Maybe there was regret that you had even proposed the idea, but it seemed like it wasn’t getting in the way of your conscience with how you stumbled to sit on your bed.

Zane followed, a pleased grin growing across his face, almost predator-like, because you were just as eager as he was, and it was exciting to know that he caused you to fidget for another round. “You couldn’t possibly think that I did your worksheets for…” Then, he looked over his shoulder, at the empty bowl on the table. “—a bowl of strawberries, right?”

“Well… strawberries reduce inflammation in the body, and I know you probably get tossed around a lot on the mat—”

God, his rambles are cute.

“I don’t get tossed around. I do the tossing.” Was that a threat? Zane didn’t mean for it to sound like one. He was merely playing a game of intimidation, to see if you were a man of his word. Even with the fleeting fear that heavenly passed from one eye to the other, whether it was from his taunt or from the evident size difference between you and him as he sat himself next to you, you seemed assured in your decision.

“Sorry, I’ve never been to your matches—“ Instead of acknowledging his presence, you stared at your folded hands, clammy in your lap.

“That’s fine. It gets boring pretty quick. I end up winning them.” Zane edged himself closer to you, in hopes to lift you from the enchantment of your palms.

“Really? Whoa, that’s cool—I would love to see it for myself. I’m sure I won’t get tired of it.” Knees touching now, and you still won’t look at him. Somehow, concentred even more now, on your fingernails this time. Biting them, pushing your cuticles back. Zane would’ve been annoyed with anybody else, by this inconsiderate lack of attention, but not you.

Never you.

A drop of silence fell over the both of you. One body hesitated, while the other was quietly pursued. Cicadas buzzed outside your window, passersby laughed in turn from a joke, and multiple vehicles roared, presumably racing each other down the street of your apartment. Zane watched you through all of it; the gentle inflate of your cheeks because you felt hot in the mouth, the bite of your lips because you were about to speak but ultimately rescinded; the curl of your toes into your socks because Zane suddenly put a hand over your lap to tear your gaze back towards him.

When you did—with those quivering eyes—Zane whispered, “Can I?” A permission that lit a twinkle in your pupils, stars mirroring the bright blues of Zane’s eyes. He leaned in because he was immediately pulled in like some kind of spell, a tilt to his head that you naturally countered, and pressed his lips to yours. “Follow my lead.”

Your lips were soft, incredibly supple flesh unfortunately stiffened by fear, an inexperience that Zane would cherish from this moment onward as he adapted and stilled until you’d adjusted.

“We’ll go slow, okay? Soft. Gentle. All of that. As long as you work with me.” Zane pulled a centimeter or two away from your lips, mumbling while making sure his breath compelled your lips to move. “Your turn. Kiss me. A small peck, can be a smooch too, your choice.”

“Y-Yeah, okay…” You nodded. You turned your body towards him for proper positioning, cross-legged, and Zane followed in turn. Then, you leaned in. A peck to Zane’s lips, your glasses bumped against his nose in the process. A chaste, pure moment of affection that Zane wished could have amounted to more, but he didn’t want to rush you.

Another one, a smooch like Zane had suggested, and a rather puzzled one at that because Zane was smiling from ear to ear, and you were confused, almost embarrassed as to why. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no… you’re just…” He couldn’t keep himself from laughing. First, at the absurdity of this mutual settlement. Second, at the luck he was given because it had to be you, someone he’d briefly discounted as merely ‘an awkward nerd’ upon first meeting. Lastly, because you were more than ‘an awkward nerd’ to him now. A cute guy, a smart person, an incredibly pure and sweet boy that he would more than love to—

Zane was getting ahead of himself. Just kissing. For now.

You weren’t going to learn efficiently this way. This step-by-step process only worked on paper, on problems, on math problems, and Zane was done adapting your style of teaching. Zane was a demonstrator, it was how he taught wrestling to the younger kids at his part-time job. And man, were you in need of a good demonstration.

“—so cute…” With one hand to your cheek, he guided you closer, and pressed his lips to yours again. A bit harder this time, but enough to pull a gasp, a breath, a sound out of you. You parted your lips, and Zane seized the opportunity to claim the soft flesh as his own. He could feel a gentle buzz festering among the joined lips, a spark that compelled you to take its voltage in and pass it off to Zane with a gentle nip. Then, a suck when the bolt of electricity returned back to you tenfold, and your hand—you didn’t know what to do with them, curling them into your shorts for the meantime, but Zane had the experience to know. He held one, squeezed to let you know that you were in good hands, then guided it towards the underside of his jaw, letting you hold him.

“Hold me if you feel lost.”

“Okay…”

It continued on like this for a while. The passing of electricity, of sparks. Eyes closed, lips held and parted away from one another for a breather, then reunited with a thin string of spit bridging warmth between the two mouths, mutual devotion climbing from one end of spit to the other.

“Just like that…” Zane whispered, encouraged, praised. He was referring to the ease of your tension, seemingly melting away baby the second, but also the sounds coming out of your mouth. What was once desperately vaulted in the back of your throat in fear of sounding too eager, moans had now fallen dramatically off your tongue like they were meant to be, and Zane sucked it right off in fear you’d restrain yourself again.

“Was that okay?” You paused, muttering into his lips. It tickled when Zane chuckled, the soft, thick hair of his mustache aiding the quiver of your lips.

You pulled back to give him space, to take in the air around you, but Zane had a sudden hold on you, on the back of your neck, gentle but firm, and gazed proudly into your eyes, past the crook of your glasses. He haunted you to the core with that smile of his, stilled your breath for a long moment when he squeezed at your nape, something knowing and mischievous, like you had been branded with a hot iron, his name engraved into the now bruising hold on your flesh, and you knew you couldn’t go back on your word now even if you tired.

As if you wanted to.

“A natural…” It was distracted, Zane didn’t mean for it to sound half-hearted, but that only meant that he was telling the truth if he dove immediately back to kissing you again, without bothering to fix the slant of your glasses.

You got it. It was as simple as that. The swapping of lips, of saliva, of licks, Zane made it all so easy, and all you had to do was follow his lead. He kissed you until you begged for a break. You kissed him until the rush of blood in your southern region had calmed.

And it never did, even when he kissed you goodbye. He could spot your erection from a mile away.

It was like this for Zane’s meetings from then on. Tutoring went on as usual. He brought in his worksheets, you lectured him through the problems he’d missed, and you’d check off the problems he’d fixed. After, Zane would have you practice on him, learning how to lead for once.

As Zane returned with better scores, so did you with kissing. You’ve learned that touching was just as important as kissing. Zane liked his neck and chest rubbed, while you liked your nape held, controlled. Eventually, the two tutoring sessions a week doubled and became four, then it became six, until Zane found himself visiting you every day, with fluctuating hours depending on his schedule and yours. Though, you two made sure to free up your time to accommodate. Your lessons remained consistent, but Zane’s, however, had gotten longer. It was his excuse to make up for your inexperience.

In reality, he really wanted to be your every ‘first’ as selfish as it was.

You never knew there were so many types of kissing. Zane’s lips on your neck were your favorite. The softness of his mouth. The warmth of his tongue. The nuzzle of his mustache. As much as it was a struggle to hide your erection, he knew. You felt comforted by his words that it was only natural and couldn’t be helped.

And excruciatingly helpless when he confessed, “I’m hard too.”

Zane found you had a surprising knack for french-kissing, and that ultimately became a normalcy between you and him. Once you felt the slip of his tongue exploring your warm mouth, you were a goner. Kissing with just lips didn’t feel right anymore. You needed tongue. You needed his spit covering your tongue. You needed to suck at his own wet flesh. You told him that, through breathless pants, that you needed to explore more of him.

And Zane resonated with an astounding, “Me too,” and left you blue-balled, like always, on the bed.

And like always, you found yourself rubbing to the thought of Zane, wondering if he was doing the same, if he could find a way to during practice.

You would think about the new lessons for the week: kissing positions. It started off simple—making out on the couch, tenderly sharing tongue while you sat on the kitchen countertop. You naturally felt an inclination to touch him, it was the right thing to do, and the longer your hands were on Zane—squeezing his shoulders, caressing those built muscles that had been sculpted through sheer hard work and dedication—all the more ramped up these feelings for him had gotten.

He preferred you sitting on his lap, the perk in your posture meant that you had too—the warmth of his cupped palms around your ass being a constant reminder.

You kept it to yourself, but you were at his disposal.

It sounded naive. Wrong. And to be frank, cliché, but it was fluttering to feel so wanted. A nest of honeybees festering in the pit of your stomach, all because Zane’s attention was on you. Praising you for doing so well, when in actuality, you simply allowed him to ravish your neck that day until he was certain that hickies would blossom across the cavas of your neck overnight. Admiring your tainted skin the next day by topping his bruises with another round of painful, but welcomed sucks, because marks had never looked so beautiful on someone. Thrilling because you were a work in progress, and would be labeled as so until Zane had the final say. Whenever that day would come, you dreaded knowing it could end soon.

Zane kept it to himself, but he liked knowing that he’d branded you as his so easily.

It was common for both of you to end your visitations blue-balled—panting into one another’s mouth. Bodies collapsed onto another on the bed at the sound of Zane’s alarm, and every day, you found it increasingly harder to give into surrendering his body for practice. For his friends. For classes. For parties. He was a popular man, and this was the first time you’d cursed him for it, as much as you had been envious of it from the start.

When Zane unwillingly tore himself away from you, he felt his heart jolt with a spark, that same spark that had been passing from lip to lip, and festering in his veins to yours.

You looked at him with such distraught, a silent plea for him to stay. Disappointment laced in those pure pupils, and emphasized when Zane catalogued the mess he’d made on your body. Wet reminders of his presence on your neck cascaded over your collarbone, and down to the middle of your chest. The first few buttons of your shirt had been unbuttoned—the most visible skin you had bared so far, yet Zane had never felt his balls tightened up for such little promiscuity. It was like you were teasing him, pushing him towards the edge to see until when—just when he would crack and take you as he pleased.

That night would be an aide-memoire that you had captivated Zane, just as much as he had a control on you.

“Relax for me,” he whispered into your lips, ignoring a call from his friend with a toss of his phone before using the same hand to push you onto your back.

“Wait, but the party—“ Cold yet warm, that was how it always felt when you were with him. The draft hit your skin when Zane lifted your shirt to smother your stomach in tiny, fleeting kisses. Your goosebumps conflicted whether they should owe their arrival to the drop in temperature, or to Zane’s worship on your body.

“I know. They can wait. You’ll be quick.” Everything was moving at rapid pace. A beast in Zane suddenly unleashed from as he began removing your pants. An impatience you found yourself unsettled by, yet just as equally as desired with the way you followed every one of his command: to spread your legs wider, to keep your shirt on, to lean back on the pillows, braced on your elbows, to look at him, to watch him.

“Quick with what—“ Your mind was cluttered with so many demands, dazed by the sudden chaos of it all.

He barely gave you a chance to react before pressing his mouth to your hard cock. You instantly puzzled what all of this had amounted to the more he enveloped your length with a sudden gut-punching heat you had never experienced with your entire being. “Zane—“

“Just hold still.” He guided your shudders to his blonde locks, forcing a gratifying grip to his hair before power-washing your cock with his tongue.

Zane thought he heard your moans. Thought he knew them from flesh and bone from the times he’d devour neck and lips like an insatiable scent. But no—these were the sounds he was in desperate search for. Staggered, guttural, straight from the stomach and raw out your throat, as you begged for mercy from the suction of his mouth.

“S-stop, I’m going to c-come in your mouth—“ You desperately pleaded, rock-hard in his mouth and throbbing at the pulse of his tongue. The tip of his muscle flicked endlessly at your slit, beating it with the spit that had been over-compensating for his dry mouth.

“That’s the point.”

You tugged on his hair harder, not away, but towards you. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t muster the strength to watch him, and restrain yourself. That was absolutely impossible with the way Zane’s blue eyes locked with you, determination in his gaze that signaled that this had no longer been a demonstration. Sloppily sucking you off. Beating your wet dick off until it was swollen. “W-wait, Zane, stop—I’m really going to—“

Repeating, cycling, spitting, moaning, praising, urging, kissing, repeating until the thick release of your cum satisfied the grit of his throat. Drinking every ounce of purity out of you because it was a sacred resource. Until you felt completely drained with Zane’s throat at your disposal, the salty taste of your loads nearly costing him his sanity had you not pulled him up to ground him with a kiss.

Or maybe his sanity had already been broken, because he pushed the thick of your seed back into your own mouth when you two connected, and it drew out the most beautiful symphony of sounds from you: the shock of it all, the salty and bitter taste embarrassingly spreading thick over your tongue, and then the exaltation, when Zane sucked it right off of you as a way of saying, ‘I’m yours too.’

No, this had been done out of pure love—one that had been kept in reserve for you, and only you.

It was an open secret to how prone you were to bruising. Zane remembered the shock of returning the next day to an onslaught of hickies on your neck. Marks that you comically hid behind a scarf despite the summer season. Bruises that earned him a knowing side-eye when one of your roommates answered the door to let him in.

“Does it look bad?” You instinctively bared teeth, sucking in a gasp when Zane curiously poked at one bruise to the next.

“Sorry. I got carried away.” He remembered that night vividly—beating off his dick to it after practice. He’d left hickies on many people before. For you, he didn’t know why he felt so fascinated by the wear of your skin—the break of skin solely caused by him.

“Not your fault. Kind of the reason why I never played sports.” Popping open the cap of the soothing cream in your hand, you then began to apply the thick mixture onto your wounds. Well, one of them, before Zane took it out of your hand.

“I’ll do it… Let’s take a break today, yeah? We can cuddle, watch a movie? Anything you want.” Ann apology seeped into the kisses he brought around your neck before applying the cream onto your bruises, finishing what you’ve started.

Not too long after, he’d take you into his arms, your head comforted by his chest, while you went on with your free-time: scrolling through social media, laughing at videos that appeared on your feed with him, chatting, kissing, chatting again.

“Do you date a lot?” You asked one day, knowing the answer without Zane having to speak. Though, you really just wanted to hear it from his mouth, to clarify, instead of assuming everything.

“In high school and first year in college, yeah. But it’s been mostly hookups so far.” Zane found that your hands looked perfect in his: smaller yet equally veiny as he compared, then examined your intricately cut nails. Perfectly trimmed with little whites baring.

“Hm…” You nodded, letting him play with your fingers, stroke your hair, kiss at your neck, until your silence was deafening.

It was like Zane read your mind, because he’d spare you that smile of his—one you had been intimidated earlier on in your life before all of this—and your heart felt like it surged over hurdles during your pursuit to him. He laughed in your neck at the glimpse of your pout, and he would tease you with several pokes to your body, introducing various notes of levity until you broke out into a laugh yourself.

“Before you say it, no—you’re not a plaything.” Zane assured with a kiss to your lips. Whether he was telling the truth or not, you’d rather delay the revelation for a little longer.

You never realized that you and Zane barely did this. Getting to know one another was an interest that had been vaulted from the back of your mind as things were ramping up. There were times where you needed it. A break from everything, even if it meant that you’d fall deeper for him. For Zane, it was always on days where he had too many events to juggle on his plate. Venting to you came first, then you’d pacify his frustration at his friends, at his professor, at his teammates, with a semi-homemade meal, and a movie in bed.

You two would compensate for the lack of knowledge about each other by coincidentally pulling all-nighters. Somewhere among one of those nights, you two found the perfect balance of understanding each other from in and out.

“I came to watch you practice the other day…” His hand was roaming under your shirt, lingering over your stomach, and then up your chest to toy with your nipples. You groaned into his mouth at a tug of one of your nubs, mirroring his actions onto his own body. Though, you were always distracted by how big his chest felt under your palm, preferring to explore the muscular plane.

“What—“ Zane pulled away, breathless and baffled at the admission, because who would want to watch him practice? His previous partners never did that for him. “Why didn’t you say hi?” You looked so delectable under him. Swollen lips, tongue peeking to taste at the lingering residue of spit.

“Wouldn’t I throw you off your game?” You ran your hand over his forearm. Memories of Zane’s sweaty muscles bulging as he pinned a guy down coming to mind, thick veins charging the muscle fibers with a pulse. If those veins had telepathic capabilities, you’d assume the erection in your pants was from their own command.

“Don’t think so. I would’ve introduced you to the team too. They would like you.” Another kiss to your lips before he rolled onto his back, switching positions with you to pull you onto his lap.

“Really? I didn’t think I would have anything in common with them!” You’ve gotten more brazen in your touch. Affectionate. You gave Zane’s shirt three tugs, a magical number to him, and he tossed it off his body and to the corner somewhere, removing the obstacle between your lips and his temple of a body.

“Maybe. Maybe not? I don’t know, some of them are struggling in their classes right now. I mentioned to them that you brought my GPA up, so—fuck…” The steady progression from being anxious to greedy was fascinating in Zane’s eyes. He watched you tongue his pink nipple, assaulting one after the other until either had stiffened, and then his armpit—he never thought you would warm up to practically burying yourself into his hairy musk, licking again, inhaling him with awakening ferocity that Zane wanted to tame. After all, that’s what he’d been doing to you, right? Taming the baby pup.

“I have some free time… Just mention my rates…”

“Yeah—god, you drive me crazy.”

You and Zane explored each other effortlessly—no labels, no commitments, simply out your own free will, and maybe that was the reason why Zane cracked.

There was a droning sound in your room, somewhere in the vent, but you’d never noticed the monotonous buzz before until now.

Zane was angry. You could decipher it from his fist, the cushion of mechanical pencil comforting the clasping grasp. You’ve never seen him angry other than being slightly annoyed or inconvenienced, but the tension in your room weighed heavy enough to pull his gaze anywhere else but towards you. No welcoming kiss, no bantering, no playing footsies under the table—only work.

“Zane, what’s wrong—“ Your voice was gentle. Maybe if he would look up, he would soften at the distraught etched onto your face, fine lines wearing you down with worry, with deep dejection because it wasn’t about second-guessing whether you did something wrong.

When he reeled his hand back from your touch, you were absolutely positive that it was your fault.

“Are you done grading yet?” His voice was tempered, methodically calm while his gaze never left the screen of his laptop. Scrolling through an endless pit of web pages.

“Yeah…” You pushed the paper towards him, and he glanced at it.

64%. The lowest marks he’d received since you started tutoring him. He was doing so well. Constant 80s. His peak being nearly a perfect mark, and it was all crumbling because of a man.

He sucked in his teeth, a familiar feeling of contention seething in his stomach.

Two men.

It only happened in his matches, and when it did, it signified his victory.

“Hey, what’s—“ Another attempt quickly stolen with a sudden biting kiss. Rough hands roamed around you, a touch that you had already felt nostalgic for upon Zane’s absence the past few days, and then a bite to your neck, a painful mark, an answer as to why you had felt so deprived of energy in addition. “Z-Zane!”

“Nico and Austin,” Zane muttered bitterly into your clavicle. Your shirt was then unbuttoned at flying speed, and his eyes were searching, pupils dilating upon the scan of your skin. Marks of want, of pleasure, faded into your chest and neck like foam to coffee. “—these are theirs, right?!”

“W-what? No! Are you crazy, what?!” You gulped hard, your neck straining as Zane began to match several bruises to his mouth, renewing the plump skin out of spite, out of greed. Traces of his spit matched the outline of your mark to perfection, yet he continued, relishing himself into the warmth of your skin, to the sounds of your panicked moans as you rubbed at his back to pacify his sudden burst of anger. If they hadn’t made a mark on you, then they will soon. You were his territory, his worshipping ground, and he needed evidence that he’d claim you first. “What’s going on…”

“They…” Embarrassment crept his way up to his neck, then his cheeks as Zane settled upon assessing at what he’d done to you. Windswept, that was what he’d described you as you lay breathless beneath him. He’d missed this, yet it was frightening to know that the withdrawal symptoms from not seeing you every day resulted with an uncontrollable need to ruin you. The calm of your breathing consoled him in meantime, and also lowered his blood pressure a few beats. He refused to release his grip around your wrists, but loosened for your comfort, and breathed, “—keep talking about you. It’s been a few weeks since you started tutoring them, right?”

“Yeah—they usually come together… What do you mean they keep talking about me?” On first impression, you’d assume it was about the way you presented yourself. Guarded and reserved to most, but you always made sure you had good intentions, right? That couldn’t be the right assessment, though. That wouldn’t have made Zane riled up, practically eating at your neck from a comment about how you were standoffish.

“Don’t make me say it,” he squeezed past tight lips, forewarning with tense eyes because you were smart. You were supposed to know what he meant by now.

Clueless.

“It can’t be that bad—“

“They’re animals, (M/N). The way they talk about you like you’re a piece of meat.” He muttered bitterly warm at the underside of your jaw. Yet, a part of you felt like he was kissing to the thought of their ridiculing, whatever they were, and you let him do as he pleased, with restrained silence to hear him, to let him know that you were listening, to let him know that it was getting dangerously hard to focus on his words because—you had no idea when, but his hand had slipped inside of your shorts now, massaging you through your boxers.

He continued after carrying you to the bed, his shorts kicked off to the side, your own after, and pressed himself to you, practically into you as you felt him throb against your erection without missing a beat. “—keep talking about how pretty you’d look sucking them off. How they would like to see you struggle taking their cocks inside of your mouth, both at once. As a reward or something, for doing those damn worksheets.”

“I—“ Your mind felt foggy. All of this information was overwhelming you, plus the friction of your cock against Zane’s much larger erection held your mind hostage, harassing it with violent yet pleasurable rubs as you felt the tip of your cock constantly brush against the scratchy fabric. This was new, and you needed to focus and fixate on Zane’s worries. “Zane…”

“They’d blow their loads inside of your mouth. Over your face. Inside of your ass—“ Zane grunted hard, stroking a hand over your head while rocking into you with his broad body, with a rhythm led by greed and lust. The weight of his motion reflected onto the creaking of the bed springs, and his eyes searched looming repugnance. “—wouldn’t shut up about that ass of yours. How it filled out those shorts of yours so nicely. How they wanted to breed you with their cum, one after another, then another round, and another, until your body had given itself up.”

None. You were fucking hard, throbbing and solid as he rocked into you, polished his cock with yours, and your eyes—he could see how much you’d want that fantasy to come true.

“Zane, I wouldn’t—“ You whimpered when he pulled your boxers off, freeing your embarrassing boner for him to delight his eyes on. You stripped yourself completely for the second time, top to bottom. It triggered the memory of baring it all for the first time, where you received your first blowjob. You watched in silence, in between hot pants, as Zane stripped his muscular body of his clothing, one by one. Like a performance, a stage that was approaching its curtain call, because you knew Zane only had patience for one more lesson to teach you. Fuck me, please…

“And you know what’s worse? I thought they were just playing around, that typical locker room talk. Told them you were a virgin, never even kissed a boy in your life, and that it would all be too much for you…” You shuddered, feeling the warmth of his eyes analyzing you like a scanner, taking copies of your body and inking it into his mind. The sink of your stomach as Zane caressed your body downwards, the gentle hairs below your belly button, all delectably leading to the unkempt hairs of your pubic area, surrounding the twitch of your cock.

He could take you right now, but Zane liked playing with his food. Loved seeing the sweat form on your forehead and on your neck; loved watching your chest rise and sink when he wrapped a hot hand around your cock; loved hearing you whimper when his large cock joined his fist, stroking you and him together as one large mass.

“And you could practically see them come alive from that. Drooling, rubbing their dicks through their pants, because all they want to do is break you. Wreck that tight little hole of yours. Make your first time memorable. Two cocks fucking inside of you. Who could say that they got double-penetrated on their first time?” You could feel his heavy balls jump. He wanted to see that too, didn’t he? To see you wrecked like this. After all, he was a saint for holding back for as long as he did.

“And god—baby, would you call me a monster if I wanted that too? To see you take cock for the very first time? To see you crying out about how it wasn’t going to fit? But you’re a good boy, right? You’d relax for me? And take my cock in? No complaints?” Fingers. You could feel him rubbing at your rim when he brought your legs over his shoulders, one on each side. It was wet with spit, cold against your pucker as his cock jumped at the thought. Your own dick leaking pre-cum in turn.

“N-no—would want you to.” You gulped, a grit in your throat you tried to pacify. Then, a grit in your mind, because you reached over to replace Zane’s hand over your cock and his with your own. God, he was a handful. You could barely wrap around it with your fingers, let alone both of your rubbing cocks. But you tried, and your efforts were met with a shuddering moan from Zane, a shiver rolling up his spine tenfold compared to his hand. “I think I can take it—I’ll be good. I promise—“

“You’ll be good? You’re smart, (M/N). There’s no ‘thinking’ when it comes to this. Only an ‘I can’ and an ‘I can’t.’” His blonde locks hovered over his eyes as they casted downwards, addicted to the way your pucker kissed at the pad of his finger. Enamored of your beautiful hand holding his cock and yours as tightly as if your sanity had depended on the two throbbing erections. His hips buckled when you began thumbing at his slit, spreading your pre-cum with his, and that was when he knew he was devoted to pleasing you—when he pushed a lubed finger inside of you without warning, watching the way you struggled to swallow the length of his finger. “Which is it?”

You broke out into a staggered moan. The introduction of his digit collapsing the gears in your mind, having been conquered by nothing but an empire of pure lust, and you resisted, with a tension around the first knuckle.

“I-I can!” A guttural gasp when his finger began maneuvering inside of you, working you open little by little. Past his cuticle, then he would pull out. Then down to the first knuckle, you would then pucker. Then plunged deep to where the webbing of his fingers met, and you would gape. He cycled through with little alternations, fingering you while providing your cock and his the warmth and friction they desperately plead, stroking in sync.

“You can, what?” Two fingers inside of you, your hole sticky and slick with a generous amount of lube, pistoling past initial limitation. You shut your eyes with strain when Zane pushed a third into your heated hole. He had you holding your legs up now, splayed out with your feet in the air as he flattened himself onto his stomach to watch your hole with an inquisitive, yet lewd mind. Every now and then, he’d pull himself out to taste you, sucking his fingers clean, then endeavoring upon his curiosity with focused licks to your hole, flicking and swirling around your rim, then entering to dig inside of you.

“O-Oh, god—I-I can—“ Your cock throbbed at the sight of his imposing body—flushed with heat and sweat, splotches of red on his body from where you grasped and held onto him previously. You stilled, but your hands moved to tangle within Zane’s full locks, pulling, yanking, tugging, at the magical plowing your hole was taking from his wet tongue. “C-Can take your cock, Zane—“ Upon those final words, he ended his rimming with a loud slurp, then a sudden splat of spit to your hole—perceptive to the lube drying out on your body.

It was grand. Watching Zane’s broad body crawl back into position, onto his knees, then forward as he lined your smaller body with fleeting kisses. Kisses to the tip of your dripping cock, to your happy trail, to the supple skin of your stomach and chest, to your nipples, to your neck, then finally to your lips, where he spent majority of his delight upon. His questing fingers snuck to tend to his muscular cock, applying a thick amount of lube in midst, a mess on the sheets you’d figure you could later scold him for, and pressed the slick, wet head to your heated rim. You whimpered at the imposing taught, your hole puckering obscenely in apprehension.

“Going to make love to you,” Zane mumbled into the kiss, the other hand fondling your cock to ease the tension in your ass, in your legs, in your back, in the grasp you have on his shoulders. “Gonna make sure you feel full with my cock. Make you think about nothing but my cock. Make you mine with my cock. Make your hole ruined with my cock.”

“Ruin me…” You said with a pleading whine. Your hands caressed his large back, squeezing whatever came to your palm and under your fingertips, and you gazed into Zane’s promising eyes, your own imploring in case he were to turn on his words.

The scent of desire filled the air—one more yearning kiss, to quench the drought of your throat, and Zane loved you like this. Folded in between his embrace, his arms tucked around you as a safety net, rubbing your hole with his cocked, making small circles, your feet over his shoulders—he blessed a kiss on both ankles—quivering, fear and want dancing in the light of your eyes, and he finally pushed, slowly until the head of his cock slotted in.

Your chest lift upon the intrusion as you strain your head forward and groan with distraught. “O-oh, f—“

“Relax… Just relax…” He was barely in, his cock almost slipping out as you sealed yourself shut and kept pushing himself out, but Zane resisted, countering with a persistent push until you’d open yourself up for him again, allowing him to enter you a centimeter more. “You got this…” His words were comforting, the kisses on your chest and neck soothing the burn beneath you, and you loosened bit by bit, though with difficulty.

“M-mm, u-ugh…” It was lewd, fucking erotic with the whimpers that came out of your mouth, the heat remounting from their bodies reflecting with a fog on your glasses. Zane didn’t want to, but he had to shut you up with another loving kiss. Another peep out of you would’ve unscrewed the armor that had been holding him back from ravishing you completely.

Your scent drifted to Zane, potent and intoxicating, and it was upon impulse when Zane decided that he needed to be selfish, and take you for himself. Your entire groan tingled, the pressure on your opening suddenly too harsh, and your hole protested, the ring of muscle clenching tight when he pushed in more of his cock. “Need you, need you so fucking bad. Need to fuck you. Need to make love to that sweet, tight hole of yours.” Words spilled out of your mouth, his tongue sloppily tasting the corner of your mouth, then chin, and his cock fondled your balls and cock, squeezing, tugging, stroking, because he had to over-compensate. Zane was strong. Determined. And broken. Your body defied any reason to refuse his cock in any longer, opening for him, and inviting hm in upon the force of one long, deep, and guttural thrust.

“That’s it. I know, baby. I know. It hurts. I know… Just… Fuck… Relax for me…” His words were gentle, almost cooing when you instantly caught your breath, and then paused his thrusts with your hands on his toned thighs. Even so, the undeniable proof of your arousal, the throbbing and twitching of your cock, spilling thick strings of sticky pre-cum, was the sole evidence that allowed him to plunge himself deeper inside of you, past your resistance, until his pelvis met your ass. “There we go… Not so bad, right? Fuck, you’re so fucking tight…”

“M-mm, full—“ You felt so full, the discomforting pleasuring hitting you like a lightning bolt when Zane pulled himself completely out to watch your hole deliciously gape, then flushed himself back inside of you with one thrust. Your ass felt like it couldn’t handle any more of Zane’s cock. You clenched tight around his thick girth, feeling the veins throb with imposing lust, feeling his balls jolt and twitch as you squeezed even tighter when he began officially thrusting, whimpering louder.

“So full, right? Your ass taking my cock right now. God, I wish you could see it, baby…” Zane had brought himself up, his posture straightened to feast his eyes upon the sight of the tight ring swallowing his thick cock whole. He was practically salivating, the self-restraint he has had unlocking with every thrust, kissing at your ankles, your feet, as your legs remained hooked over his shoulders. His muscular body—sweating bullets, draining yet feeding him with heat while he flexed his stomach upon moving his hips against you. He made you feel loose and hollow, and your cock agreed with a desperate plea to be touched. Some form of friction around its veins, and you fulfilled it with a wrap of your hand, stroking yourself to the lewd sight before you, to the beastly groans Zane thickened the air with, to the smell of musk and sweat radiating from bonded bonds, to the glorious drilling your hole was enduring. There was wild fury in Zane’s face, of strength and passion, thick veins surging through his arms, biceps, neck, as he held the lower-half of your body higher, and fucked into you. You feared him as you wanted him, taking him like you had promised.

“Z-Zane! God, you feel so—g-good!” Fierce and untamed, Zane powered into you upon that confession. A slur of sounds you’d make, beautiful in his ears, embarrassing to your own, but Zane made you feel so wanted, so loved, that you didn’t mind baring it all for him. He downed your moans with a kiss, a gulp, a sloppy open-mouthed kiss as he was desperate to hear more of you, licking inside of your mouth while he stretched you open and filled you with his cock. “H-harder—Want your c-cock…” You’d give it to him, delegating those pretty whimpers that he’d happily starve for and feeding it to him tenfold. Whimpers, grunts, and moans ripped out of your mouth while tiny tremors and tingles explode from your overfull guts. You were taking him. Taking his cock. Taking him like a good boy. Wetness trickled out from his pounding, a leak of lube splattering upon the connecting impact of Zane’s hips to your ass.

“So good. That’s my good boy. Fucking take it. Good boy. Fuck. Take my cock. You like it, don’t you? You love being filled with my thick cock, don’t you? Been thinking about this since we’ve met, haven’t you?” Zane reminded you as your eyes rolled back in their sockets, leaving only the whites of your eyeballs visible. It felt like a punishment for asking him to do all of this with you—this mutual tutoring. But god, if it truly was, you needed to find more ways to make his blood boil.

“C-close—“ That was how you always jerked your cock off. Rubbing the sloppy, swollen tip of it against the palm of your hand. Rough and smooth, you liked it that way. You would accidentally rub at the most sensitive spot at your cockhead, ramping up closer to your inevitable climax, and that was what you did in this current moment. You rubbed your cock to the heavy weight of Zane’s dick inside of you, the tickle of his mustache on your lip, the crooked, fucked-out position of your glasses, the tantalizing depth his cock had reached inside of you. Zane’s hand skimmed down your chest, stopping over your nipple, where he tugged and pinched with a thumb and a forefinger. Close. You were so fucking close. One hand reached up to Zane to hold his nape and keep him from pulling away from you—because you needed him to watch you, to see you crumbling upon his very eyes.

“Come… Keep stroking that cock. So close, baby. I’m so fucking close, hm? Look so beautiful—god, I could do this all day. Could spend forever doing this with you. Fucking your ass. Making love to that hole… Making love to you.” Every word that came out of his mouth was a spell that took you higher and higher to your climax. He had his hands around your hips now, his biceps bulging as he powered you down onto his thrusts, and right there—Zane felt it, you felt it. You both hissed when his slick crown dipped to your sealed entrance, your prostate. A little more. Just a little more and—you felt him.

“S-shit, Zane! R-right there—“ You choked out.

With a subtle angle change of Zane’s hips, you felt his throbbing cock struck your prostate like it was rock, mined it as it you’d been concealing gold and life’s greatest treasure from the world. In a way, you did because you unleashed an unholy moan that sent tremors to the goosebumps on Zane’s body. He’d branded you now, ironing you with his cock, deep plunges deep into your hole, into your prostate. If his hickies was not enough proof of his devotion, you were convinced with the absolute euphoria Zane had sent your body in with the weight of his cock. You thought you knew ecstasy, thought you knew what it was like to be pleasured and fulfilled—but this was an entirely different level.

“Shit, baby. I need to come inside—“ He was ruined. Zane was fucking ruined. HIs hips on autopilot. Large, rough hands roamed your body, squeezing whatever came into his palm. He helped you in stroking your cock with one hand, the other playing with your nipples, or squeezing your waist, or squeezing your throat. He didn’t know what to do. He was delirious, fucked out of his mind, and all that mattered was that it was with you.

“P-Please—Come inside me, please—“ You managed to gather yourself and plead with him. As if he would ever deny that opportunity. But you needed Zane to know that you desperately wanted him just as much as he did. You wanted him in there. You wanted his loads desperately sticking inside of you, filling and keeping you warm even if his cock had abandoned your hole.

Your pupils were blown out, Zane’s blue eyes glowing as the size of his shaft stretched your flesh out, stirring the inside of your hole, kissing your prostate with every thrust. He held you close, arms clasped around your neck to fold you toward him. He had you whimpering with overwhelming sensations, the stretch of your legs and back forgiving because Zane was deep inside of you, turning you in and out like he had promised, overpowering any pain in your body while he circled his hips. Upon watching him, you’d never seen someone looked so pleased, so determined, impaling you with his cock over and over, brushing your body with his rough hands, and on the nth stroke of your cock, so relieved as he indulged on your endurance for as long as he could, before spilling his thick load inside of you. Not a second after, you chased after him in pursuit, your cum sprouting from your cock in six shots, Zane doubling that amount in your ass.

You both shared a deep, guttural moan, wallowing in your shared orgasm with a long, gratifying kiss while Zane continued to dump himself inside of you, panting, refusing to catch up on his breath, and stripping you the chance to do the same as he began moving his hips again. Languidly for the rest of time, but you felt his cum pushing deeper into you, warming up your guts with the help of his cum-covered cock. Your body was at his disposal, and he seized the opportunity to remind you that it was no longer your body, but his.

“You okay?” Slowly, he unfolded your body until it was flattened with the weight of his body collapsed on top of yours. You could feel his heartbeat, his muscular chest slick with sweat pressing to yours, slowly but surely coming down from its high. He was unwilling to pull himself out of you, the warmth of your hole around him nearly lulling him to sleep. Exhaustion in his eyes, but he mustered up enough strength to take care of you, stroking your hair back after licking your cum off your body in midst of repositioning.

You kissed him again, wanting to taste yourself off his tongue, and Zane accepted that as an answer, laughing into your mouth. “I’ve taught you well, haven’t I?”

“Couldn’t have asked for a better tutor.” You mumbled sleepily, hiding the blush in your cheeks into his shoulder while fatigue struck the muscles in your body until it begged for a rest. You wrapped your arms around him, embracing his large body into your own. His warm smell, his soothing voice, his adoring touch—you couldn’t fathom going back to a life without Zane in your life, teaching you about anything and everything, just as you did for him. It made your chest swell at the thought, your heart twisting itself until it began to hurt. But Zane kissed you once more, something that felt perpetual, and you’d calm.

“What are you doing for the summer?” He whispered, nuzzling his mustache against your cheek like you liked. He fixed the crook of your glasses with a twist, impressed by how they hadn't fallen off the entire time he was fucking into you.

“Working… Tutoring’s still in session for the summer classes, so I’ll be here.” You nodded, and he hummed in response. There was a brief silence, you’d reckon that could hear him thinking if you had the skills to.

“So… you know how I wanted you to meet the team? Maybe we could do that over the summer. What do you think? Think it’s only right to introduce my boyfriend to my best friends.” Nibbling on your ear now. You squirmed, ticklish as the tiny bristles of his mustache brushed against places that had never been touched. His smile only made it worse, the curve of the hairs grazing over your lobe and the shell of your ear.

“I’m your boyfriend?” It was impossible to stop yourself from smiling from ear to ear. The label made you feel fuzzy and warm on the inside.

“You didn’t think I did this all because I wanted to have sex with you, did you? I mean, it’s been months—“

“No, no—I was just…” You shook your head to shrug off even trying to reason with your confusion. “What about Nico and Austin? They were being kind of—“

Deceitful fingers spidered over the span of your belly. Lower, and lower. A roguish smile slowly formed on his face as he began fondling your sensitive flaccid cock. He then turned to you, gently pressing your nose to his.

“We can talk about that when the time comes.”

“When the time comes for—“

“You’ll see.”

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

#zane phillips x male reader #zane phillips x reader #zane phillips x m!reader #zane phillips x you #zane phillips x y/n #zane phillips imagine #zane phillips fic #bottom male reader #x male reader #male reader #m!reader #gay reader #male reader insert #male reader x male reader #nou.fics

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y3sterdaysproblem · 3 months ago

Text

in my head - m.s.

part two of avery’s playlist series

pairing: reader x matt sturniolo

cw: alcohol, smut (unprotected sex, f!receiving oral, fingering), explicit language

wc: 6k

in my head, i see you all over me

in my head, you fulfill my fantasy

It was like a sixth sense, really, the way you could feel when anybody was staring at you when you weren’t looking. It was something you’d always had a feeling for since you were young, like any time a pair of eyes landed on you, you could feel it burning into your skin.

It was also something you had learned to ignore when you were around your friends, always feeling a constant stare when your head was turned, blue eyes unable to tear themselves away from your frame. You were used to it at this point, the way he looked over at you any chance he got. You were also used to him refusing to admit that he was looking at you, no matter how many times you caught him staring, he’d always deny it, say he was just spaced out or looking past you. You never believed him.

Today was no different, even in the crowded house with music blaring and your mind fuzzy from the alcohol you’d consumed, you could still feel Matt staring at you from where he was leaned against the wall, a fruity seltzer held in his hand as he peered your way. The two of you have been friends for years, but lately it felt like you’ve drifted apart due to how weird he’s gotten around you, and now when you came over, you mostly just talked to his brothers, Nick and Chris, since Matt had always excused himself after you caught him staring.

Matt was always a little bit odd, but he’d gotten more so over the last few months, and you’d gotten sick of trying to reel him back in, finally just deciding to let him pull away from the friendship if that’s what he really wanted.

Alcohol had always made you a little bit bolder, though, and today was no exception, so when you caught Matt’s eye across the room and he actually held your gaze, you couldn’t help yourself from marching over until you were right in front of him, your eyes determined as you approached him. He kept his eyes locked on you, an almost amused smirk playing on his lips at your attempt to be serious.

“Matt,” you start sternly, crossing your arms once you’re in front of him. He’s thoroughly enjoying the way you try to act bigger than you are, though he can tell by the glazed over look in your eyes that it wasn’t raw confidence that had you running up on him, but more of a liquid courage influence. He didn’t mind, in fact, he thought it was amusing. He stays silent, only raising his eyebrows as he peers at you over his can, waiting for you to continue. “We need to talk.”

Matt finishes his drink and sets it down on a nearby table before crossing his arms to match your stance, chest puffing out as his eyes narrowed. “About what?” He inquires, head tilting like a dog.

You weren’t deterred by his attempts to be dominating, though. “About your fucking staring problem.”

He raises an eyebrow like he’s at a complete loss. “What staring problem?”

“Are you kidding?” You laugh, dropping your arms to your sides in disbelief. “You think I don’t see you staring at me all the time? I can feel your eyes burning a hole in the back of my head!”

Matt is fully smirking at you now, his expression teasing. “I never stare at you. I look at you sometimes, like now when you’re talking, but I’m never staring at you.”

The distinct presence of alcohol makes your eyes feel heavy and your brain moves slower, only able to process his words a few seconds after he said them, but you refused to be gaslit into thinking that you were wrong, that you didn’t see what you know you saw.

“Don’t lie to me,” you say loudly, reaching up to point a finger in his face. “You can’t take advantage of me just because I’m drunk.”

The next words that he said are what really throw you off guard, to the point where you almost blamed the alcohol for it, and if you were even one drink further into your night you would’ve, but your comprehension levels were still sharp enough to catch the weight of his words as he leans in close to your ear.

“If I wanted to take advantage of you while you were drunk, lying isn’t the way I’d do it.”

It felt like the ground beneath you had shifted, like an unspoken boundary had been crossed and you had no idea how to react to it. Except your mouth moved faster than your brain, and you spoke before you could even think to stop yourself.

“What?!” You shriek, narrowing your eyes at the boy in front of you. “What on earth is that supposed to mean?!”

Matt rolls his eyes at your volume before he swiftly forces your body in the other direction with his hands and swings an arm over your shoulder. “It means we need to get some water in you.”

You’re offended at his suggestion, scoffing loudly as he led you into the kitchen, keeping a strong grip on you. “I am not that drunk, Matt. Could pass a sobriety test with ease.”

“You’re drunk enough to get confrontational, that’s how I know you need to slow down,” Matt retorts, grabbing an unopened water bottle from the counter and handing it to you.

You want to refuse, to shake your head and push his hand away, but when you turn your head to look up at him, the room spins a little bit, and you know it’s probably for the better that you have some water. Once you do grab it from his hands, you drank almost half of the bottle in one go before handing it back to Matt, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “There, happy now?” You sass.

Matt sets the bottle down on the counter, his other arm still swung over your shoulders. “Sure, now go dance with Nick or something,” he comments, nodding his head in his brother’s direction.

Your confrontational behavior hasn’t dissipated, though, in fact it only feels spurred on by the way Matt is staring down at you, like it’s funny the way you tried to talk to him, like he thinks your attempts at calling him out are adorable. It’s not adorable, you’re serious, and the fact that he doesn’t think you are has you heating up all over again.

In a quick motion, you grab his hand from your shoulder and start walking away, your grip on him tight as you drag him through the crowds of people and into his room. With all the strength you can muster, you pull him in through the doorway and push him in front of you, slamming the door after you’re both in the room.

“I am done dealing with you staring at me all the time and acting like you’re not!” You snap loudly at him, arms crossing over your chest once again. “I may be drunk and confrontational, but you’re drunk, too, so let’s just get this conversation over with so we can go back to being like we were before.”

Matt rolls his eyes at you, huffing like a child. “I’m not as drunk as you,” is all he says.

“Oh, please, like you weren’t just leaning up against the wall out there, or using your arm around me to keep your balance.” You point a finger at him accusatorially. “You’re leaning on your desk right now!”

“Yeah, because my ankle hurts,” Matt shrugged it off, but the way his eyes closed as he spoke made it all the more obvious what the truth was.

By the time his eyes reopen, you’ve marched over to him, your bodies only a couple feet apart now. “Enough. Stop fucking staring all the time or tell me why you do it.” You demand.

He’s getting frustrated again, and you can see it in the way he sucks in a deep breath, like he’s trying to stop himself from getting angry, or maybe he’s trying to stop himself from telling you the truth, trying to fight against the alcohol swimming through his bloodstream. He’s close to cracking, and all you need to do is push a little harder.

“Did I do something to make you mad? You barely talk to me anymore, and every time you do it’s like someone’s twisting your arm behind your back to do it.” Your voice is a bit quieter now, back to a normal speaking volume with a hint of sadness seeping in. “I used to be the closest to you and now it’s a chore to even get you to talk to me.”

Matt groans and leans his head back on his shoulders for a moment before picking it back up and meeting your gaze again. “You didn’t make me mad,” he replies.

“Then what?!” You push, hands flopping to your sides in annoyance. “Why are you so weird now?! You never talk to me, you’re always fucking looking at me and pretending you’re not, you’re always trying to avoid being in the same room as me alone and I am so fucking sick of-“

“What do you want me to say?!” Matt interrupts loudly, pushing himself off the desk and one step closer to you. Your eyes widen in shock as the distance starts to close between you, not expecting him to be so loud. Though the next words out of his mouth had your mind reeling and wondering if maybe you both were a little too intoxicated to be having this conversation. But maybe it was perfect.

“Do you want me to say that every fucking time I look at you, all I can think about is how much better you’d look underneath me? On top of me?” He starts lowly, taking another step closer. “Do you want me to say that I get carried away looking at you because I’m fantasizing about what I want to do to you? That I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want to make you feel good and hear your pretty voice moaning my name?”

Your heart feels like it’s stuck in your throat as you listen to him, pounding away and making your hands shaky, adrenaline running through you at his admission. It was the last thing you expected him to say, a confession of desire, the words ripping all of the air from your lungs.

You’re brought back when the backs of your knees hit his bed, causing you to fall backwards on it, hands catching you and resting behind you. The switch in angle has you staring upwards at Matt, the man that was your best friend, lashes fluttering as he gazed down at you, eyes darkening at the sight of you.

“Matt…” you whisper, shaking your head, unsure of what to say.

“You feel fucking stupid pushing so hard now, don’t you?” Matt sneers, leaning over so he’s hovering above you, faces inches apart. “Should’ve just left it the fuck alone.”

You swallow thickly, trying to ignore your nerves and the way the hair on your arms was standing straight up, goosebumps forming from how close he was to you.

“I don’t feel stupid,” you say quietly, pausing for a moment as you stare into his eyes, taking in his expression. His jaw is clenched tight, like he’s angry, but you know it’s his way of trying to hide the way he really feels; scared of how you feel. His eyes are searching yours for any sign of feeling the same, like he’s desperate for any sense of reciprocation. His chest is heaving as he leans over you, trying to breathe through the way his heart was racing, willing it to slow down in vain. You take a deep breath yourself, readying yourself for the shift.

“Just wish you told me sooner.”

Your hand comes up to grab onto his shirt to pull him in, closing the distance between you both, lips crashing together. He loses his balance when you pull him down, hands stopping himself on either side of you when he pushes you down flat on the bed, kissing you back like he’s waited his whole life for this moment.

His lips are molded to yours perfectly, only parting to let his tongue slip into your mouth and meet your own, tasting the drink he finished right as you walked up to him. His left arm shifted so he was resting on his elbow next to your head, right hand coming up to cup the back of your head, fingers splayed out in your hair as he used his grip to keep you close to him.

Even though you initiated the kiss, you’re still taken aback at how desperate his movements are, taking a moment to collect yourself and kiss him back just as enthusiastically, right hand keeping its grip in his shirt while your other one comes up to mirror his, tangling in his hair.

“Matt,” you gasp in between kisses, whining softly when his lips trail over your cheek and down your neck, leaving soft but hungry kisses across your skin.

“Wanted you for so long,” he groans, teeth nipping softly before he continues his descent, pushing your shirt up until it’s bunched under your arms, moving his lips between the valley of your breasts. “You look so fucking good tonight, was like torture watching you walk around like I didn’t want to rip your clothes off.”

The giggle you let out is breathless, a mix of laughter and a whine, head tilted down as you watch him as he kisses down your stomach, hands moving to slide down your waist, gripping your hips when he reaches them. “You can take my clothes off if you want to,” you say nervously. His attention is immediately drawn back to your face, movements pausing at your words. “Yeah?” He rasps, voice low and quiet.

You nod, pushing yourself up on your elbows to watch him as he slides down your body and onto his knees between your legs, hands rubbing over your thighs. Your bottom half was adorned in a black mini skirt that already started riding up from the way he settled between your legs, your thong peeking out from underneath it, clinging to your skin from the way you were already getting soaked.

“This skirt looks so fucking good on you,” Matt praises, slipping off the end of the bed until he was on his knees, pulling you closer towards the edge until his face was only a few inches above your core. “Wondering why I’m looking at you when this shit barely covers your ass.”

“I wore it for you,” you admit shyly, watching as his hands slid up and down your skin, fingers gripping into your flesh every few seconds, like he couldn’t believe he was finally in this position, lips dragging up the skin of your inner thighs slowly.

“Oh, yeah?” He mumbles, almost absentmindedly.

“Mhm,” you reply, watching as his face gets closer and closer to where you want him. “Was hoping maybe if I dressed hot enough you’d finally crack, get the balls to shoot your shot.”

Matt drags his nose up your inner thighs, kissing occasionally until his face is right pressed into your panties, the thin fabric being the only barrier separating your bodies from what you both craved so badly. His tongue slips past his lips to flatten on your folds through your underwear, a small groan leaving his lips. “Was gonna shoot my shot anyway, just thought I’d have time for one more drink before you got all bitchy on me.”

A gasp leaves your lips at the feeling of his tongue on you, wanting nothing more than to rip the flimsy thong off and fling it across the room. “Calling me a bitch with your head between my legs is a little ridiculous, Matt,” you tease breathlessly, keeping your eyes locked on him. His hands move to push your skirt upwards before his fingers tuck themselves into the waistband of your panties, eyes shooting up to meet yours. “Sorry, next time I call you a bitch I’ll make sure I’m not about to eat you out.”

You scoff at his sarcastic response and roll your eyes, expecting nothing less than him making some snarky comment. His nose dips down and buries itself in the fabric again, his eyes fluttering shut as he sucked in a deep breath, moaning on the exhale. “Holy fuck.” He groans out before he tucks his fingers into the front of your underwear and ripped them apart, exposing your dripping pussy to him, drooling in anticipation.

“Are you…” you stare down at him incredulously, eyes wide. “Are you smelling me?”

Matt looks back up at you with an exasperated expression, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” He replies, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you have any idea how good pussy smells? How good it tastes? God, I could get off on that alone.”

You shake your head in disbelief at him, to which he releases a small laugh, shooting you a wink before dipping his head back down and pressing his lips between your folds, planting a small kiss on your clit as his hands push your thighs apart, spreading you wide open to be used by him. “Taste so fucking good,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything. His hands wrap around your thighs and his fingers dig into the skin on the inside of your legs, kneading them softly as his tongue starts to work between your folds, quiet moans leaving him as the taste of you flooded his senses.

The sounds you made weren’t as quiet, the volume of your whines starting to fill the room, grateful for the music blaring through the rest of the house to drown you out. Your head fell back on your shoulders as your eyes fluttered shut, focusing on his tongue on you and the way his hands never stopped moving, whether it was his thumbs stroking over your skin or his palms rubbing up and down.

“Fuck, Matt…” you whimper, dropping your elbows out from underneath you so your back was flat on the bed, body already reacting to the way his mouth was moving on you, thighs starting to shake on either side of him.

He was eating you out in a way you’ve never felt before, his actions hungry and fueled by lust, lips and tongue working in tandem as he practically made out with your drooling core, the squelching of his mouth meeting your heat filing your ears. “Matt,” you warn, reaching down to grab at his hair, pushing him off of you.

He pulls away reluctantly, staring down at you with glazed over eyes, his mouth and chin glistening from the mixture of his saliva and your arousal. “What?” He questions, furrowing his eyebrows. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod, breathing heavily. “Just close ‘n I don’t wanna finish yet.”

Matt’s confused at your words, staring down at you like he doesn’t quite understand, head tilting slightly as his lips parts to speak. “That’s kind of the whole point of what I’m doing,” he states.

“But… I wanna have sex,” you reply like it’s obvious.

“I thought that’s what we were doing?” Matt lets go of your thighs and runs a hand through his hair, growing more puzzled. “Do you not want me to eat you out?”

Your cheeks are darkening in embarrassment the more this conversation drags on, your hands coming up to cover your face. “I do! You’re really good at it! I just don’t want to cum before you actually… fuck me.”

“Why?” Matt snorts out a laugh, crawling onto the bed and hooking his hands under your thighs again, dragging you up the bed until your head was almost at the headboard, his own body moving to hover over yours. “I’ll just make you cum again. And again…” he leans down until his lips are touching your ear, one hand moving to rub over your clit gently, his two middle fingers rubbing through your slit. “And again, til you can’t even think straight.”

Your breath catches in your throat as he manhandles you, the way he pushed your body up the bed like it was nothing creating a kaleidoscope of butterflies in your stomach. “Really?” You questioned quietly, not used to men even really caring about getting you off even once.

“Mhm,” Matt hums into your ear, lips trailing down over your neck. “That okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you nod your head quickly, nervously. “Just never came more than once before.”

Matt snorts against your collarbone, dipping his two fingers inside of you, your pussy putting up no resistance to him, sucking him in greedily. “Probably because you sleep with a bunch of fucking losers.” He comments, following up his words by sucking a mark into the fleshy mound on your chest barely covered by your bra anymore.

Your back arches off the mattress when his fingers curl inside you, a loud whimper leaving your lips as your hands grip the sheets on either side of you. “Oh my god,” you moan out, ignoring the comment he made. You’ll have to remember to scold him later.

“How ‘bout you just lay there and keep making those pretty noises, yeah?” Matt smirks, sliding down the bed again until his mouth is back on your soaked heat, groaning against your clit when the taste hits his tongue again.

Obsessed doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what he’s feeling, how his mind is absolutely reeling from the way he’s got you coming apart underneath him. The way you taste, the way you sound, it’s all making his mind fuzzy, the buzz from the alcohol fading into the distance as he becomes more pussy drunk than anything in the moment. He’s trying to keep himself from losing control and fucking you into oblivion, grounding himself by listening to the sweet sounds you made.

“So good, Matt, right there,” you cry out, chest heaving as he brings you back to the brink of your orgasm, knuckles turning white against his black sheets. “Fuck, if you don’t stop I’m gonna cum,” you warn him, one of your hands coming down to thread in his hair, this time holding him against you instead of pulling him off.

“Mhmm,” he moans into your skin, tongue lapping up your juices fervently, fingers keeping pace inside of you.

The way his voice rumbled against your clit was all you needed to send you over the edge, your free hand coming up to cover your mouth as you moaned loudly, thighs trembling around Matt’s head.

He coaxed you through it, fingers and tongue unrelenting until you were lax and whimpering against the bed, legs twitching from overstimulation with every movement. Matt pulled his lips away, placing one more small kiss on your clit before looking up at you, smiling at how spent you looked, hair sticking to your forehead and your teeth buried in your hand from trying to keep quiet. “You covered up your pretty mouth,” he fake pouts, crawling back up the bed so his face is above yours. “Now I gotta make you cum again.”

You stare up at him breathlessly, watching as his face comes back into view, his expression dark as he stares at you. “Sorry,” you mumble. “Didn’t wanna be too loud.”

“No such thing,” Matt smiles, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips softly. You melt into the kiss, instantly returning it and tasting yourself on his mouth, something you’d hated in the past but felt immensely turned on by in this situation. He only kisses you for a few moments before he pulls away and gazes down at you again. “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?”

You nod excitedly, agreeing instantly. He climbs off the bed and pulls his shirt over his head before walking to his bedside table to grab a condom out of the drawer, throwing it next to you on the bed. Your eyes watch the small foil pack as it lands next to you, feeling your heart rate pick up at the realization that this was actually happening. You were about to let your best friend have his way with you in his room during a fucking party, not caring who would hear, and especially not caring about what this would do to your relationship in the moment. Those were consequences you’ll face later, but right now all you could think about was having Matt buried deep inside you.

“Matt?” You sit up slowly and look up from the condom, letting your eyes trail over him, landing on his hands that were working on the button on his jeans, then slowly dragging his zipper down. He hums in response, urging you to continue. You clear your throat nervously, reaching out to pick up the condom. “I haven’t been on birth control for years just for you to not fuck me raw.”

Matt’s lips part as he sucks in a small breath, watching as you tossed the condom back onto the bedside table before smiling up at him. “You serious?” He asks, pushing his jeans down until they fall on their own, stepping out of them before kneeling back over you, his hand coming up to hold onto the back of your neck. You nod again, just as enthusiastic as the first. “Yeah,” you respond softly. “Wanna feel you inside me.”

Matt groans and grabs your shirt to finally pull it fully off, throwing it across the room before he helps you out of your bra as well. “You’re gonna fucking kill me,” he grumbles, shoving you back down onto the bed. A small giggle leaves your lips as he throws you down, hair fanning out over the pillow. The only thing you were left in was the black mini skirt that Matt was obsessed with, the material shoved up and bunched around your hips. It was completely out of the way of what was important, and Matt had no intentions of removing it from you.

Your folds and inner thighs were completely soaked when you spread your legs open for Matt to settle between, the wet skin glimmering in the dim lights of his room, a sight that Matt had to force himself to tear his eyes from so he wouldn’t finish too quickly. “You have no idea how pretty your pussy is, do you?” He mumbled, pushing his briefs just low enough for his dick to spring out, so hard it almost hurt when the cool air hit it. Your ears burned hot at his words, shaking your head gently. “No, I don’t. Wanna tell me how pretty it is?” You reach down to grab the backs of your knees, pulling your legs up and apart to expose yourself to him even more.

“Fuck,” he groans, shaking his head and closing his eyes. “I’m sorry but I’m already about to bust in my pants, can I just…” he clears his throat and reopens his eyes, looking down at the glorious sight below him; you staring up at him as you pull your legs wide open for him, pussy on display and glistening just for him, patiently waiting to pull him into your walls. His hand comes down to wrap around his aching cock and you watch as he starts to jerk himself off, small moans and whimpers leaving his lips, jaw slack from the pleasure.

It takes him less than a minute to stroke himself to his climax, hips stuttering as he coaxed out his load all over your stomach and added to the mess adorning your lower half, your own jaw dropping as you watch him cum all over you. “That was fucking hot,” you praise, a sinister smile forming on your lips.

He laughs, taking a few deep breaths before he situates his hips against yours, resting his tip against your entrance. “Thanks. I was not going to last at all and I’ve always wondered what you’d look like covered in my cum, so.. two birds.” He joked.

You’re about to laugh with him when he shoves himself inside you, bottoming out in one thrust. The movement rips a gasp from your lips, face contorting in a mix of pleasure and pain from the sudden stretch. “Oh!” You squeak out, locking eyes with Matt as he drags his own gaze up your body to stare down into your eyes. “My fucking god,” he groaned, slowly dragging his cock out of you before pushing back in, pulling a soft whine out of your lips. “Holding that pussy wide open for me, hm?”

You bite your lip harshly as your head drops back onto the pillow, eyes rolling back as Matt starts up a quick rhythm, his cock deliciously dragging through your walls. The angle of your legs being pushed up had him hitting every sweet spot inside of you, your voice growing hoarse from how much you were whining and moaning, hands starting to lose your grip on your legs. “C’mon, baby, don’t let up now, show me how pretty you look taking my cock so well.”

You’re trying your best when you readjust your grip on the backs of your knees, but the mixture of sweat and how weak you felt made the task difficult, your hands sliding around and unable to get a good grip. “Can’t, Matt,” you whimper, opening your eyes again to look back up at him, silently begging for help. He notices your struggle and pushes your hands away with his own, spreading his fingers out on the backs of your thighs to push them against you, the new angle of his cock inside you making you cry out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there, please don’t stop, need you right there.” You babble on, staring up at Matt as his eyes stay trained on where your bodies meet.

“Touch yourself, princess,” Matt demands, forcing his gaze up to meet yours, admiring the way your eyes were glazed over and half covered by heavy eyelids. “If you can’t hold your legs up you gotta touch yourself for me, baby.”

You’re taken aback, not used to such demands. Normally the guys you slept with didn’t even care about if you finished or not, and now here Matt was making sure you came at least twice. It was a bit confusing at first, but you eventually processed his words, eyebrows furrowing. “But, Matt, I-,”

He cuts you off with a sharp dig into your thighs with his fingers, silencing you immediately. “Fucking touch yourself for me,” he says again, leaving no room for argument. “Wanna see you cum all over me, see your pretty face and hear how good you sound.”

Really, who were you to deny such a convincing statement? Especially when he asked so nicely.

“Fuck,” you whisper in defeat, bringing your hand between your legs and taking a deep breath before pressing your two middle fingers into your clit, whimpering softly as you drew small circles around it, the pleasure of that mixing with the way Matt still thrust into you making you clench your eyes shut again, moaning as your head dug back into the pillow, back arching into the pleasure. “Oh my god, so good, Matt.”

Once he saw your eyes close again, Matt looked down to where your hand was picking up speed on your sensitive nerves, your movements and his grinding matching up in pace until your legs were trembling again, still held in place by his rough grip. “That’s perfect, baby, shit, you’re fucking made for me, hm? Made to take me all the way like this?”

“Yes,” you choke out, throat starting to straight from how hard you were rubbing yourself, breath starting to catch in your throat. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, oh my god, Matt, I’m cumming again,” you gasp, whole body tensing up for a few seconds before your orgasm crashed over you, your whole body shaking and legs trying to close but unable to due to Matt holding them in place. He’s groaning loudly, thrusts becoming uncoordinated as he chased his own high, his mouth dropping in pleasure when he finally reached his peak, loud, attractive moans spilling from his lips.

Matt’s own eyes are screwed shut as he paints his release over your walls, breath shaky as he slows down, unaware of how hard he’s gripping into your skin until you whine his name out and push your legs out of his grip. When he lets go, his forearms come down to rest on either side of your head, his face burying in your neck.

“Fuuuck,” he groans tiredly, still buried inside you. “Y’have no idea how long I’ve wanted to fuck you like that.”

You laugh, running a clammy hand over his equally sweaty back, patting his skin in a teasing matter. “Glad you got it out of your system.” You reply.

His head pops up after you speak, staring down at you questioningly. “Oh, I didn’t. I’ve still got plenty of fantasies to run through.” Matt tells you, and though his tone is silly, you know he’s completely serious, so you raise your eyebrows at him inquisitively. “Did this not fulfill your fantasies?” You ask him.

He scoffs and sends you a classic Matt eye roll, like he couldn’t believe you were actually asking him that. “It did, but only some. I’ve got like a year’s worth of filthy shit I wanna do to you.” He tells you, dipping back down to nip at the soft skin on your neck, sucking it into his mouth for a moment before letting go, blowing over the wet spot to make you shiver. “Like mark you up, fuck you all over my house, in my car, in the shower, I wanna fuck you on your hands and knees, wanna watch you ride me, wanna fuck that pretty, pretty mouth of yours, wanna hear you beg for me…” his lips are moving down your skin as he speaks, leaving soft kisses along his route until he’s nestled between your breasts, pulling away to look down at your body. “Wanna be able to call you mine,” he confesses, leaning back in to take your nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. The feeling made you whine softly, your core tingling in anticipation, even though you were spent and anymore contact might make you cry.

“Matt,” you huff, reaching up to grab his face and push him off, looking down at his pouty expression. “Everything is so sensitive, feels like my skin is on fire.”

He smiles down at you, like he’s taken your words in the complete opposite direction you meant, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Perfect, so you can give me one more, yeah?”

You’re still processing what he’s said by the time he’s scooted back down the bed and positioned his face between your legs once again, a big grin on his face. You’re about to push him away and tell him you can’t take anymore, you’re too overstimulated to give him anything else, but when his mouth comes forward and starts working on you again, you’re silenced aside from the loud groans and whines coming from your lips, deciding one more couldn’t hurt.

a/n: matt’s favorite adjective for you is pretty. clearly (:

also welcome to my playlist series! leave requests for songs you’d like me to write songs based off of

taglist

@liiixsturniolos @madelinesturn @mattslolita @ifwdominicfike @sophand4n4 @chris-hallelujah

@sophsturns @ariana2saucyy @045696 @scorpioosworld @byhrxb @vickytaa @taelovesmattsturniolo

@secret-sturniolo @theboredknightcat-blog @slvtf0rchr1s @gabri3la-sturns @delilahsturniolo @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @vanillsstuff @sturnlsstuff

@imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @mattsbrat @mattsfavoritestar @dominicfikeenthusiast @certified-sturniolo @mattsside

@sofiaaguilaxx @idrk2292 @dylansfavwife @pvssychicken @sturnl0ve @sturnioloangelxoxo

@sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @milasturniolo @mattsdillion @birkinbratsworld @aria003

@poppingmypussy4chris @victoryouactuallydidthis @seluky10 @annsx03 @ouchywow @pasteldreams @sweetshuga

#ave’s library 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x you #sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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hayatoseyepatch · 4 months ago

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𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷: Nagi never made a big deal about the holidays, not something he had partaken in, but there was one tradition you had started with him that he could never resist. I mean what were the holidays without some sweets after all?

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻: Seishiro Nagi (Blue Lock)

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 2.3k

𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼: Nagi x Fem!Reader 𝓒𝔀: Minor food play (icing), praise, use of petnames, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, marking, written with plus sized reader in mind.

𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻’𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: Happy Holidays loves! This is my entry for the @pixelcafe-network's Secret Santa event as a present for @nagis-wife. The way I was so EXCITED to write this for you bambina I tried real hard to keep it a secret ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა Honestly Nagi was so much fun to write for and I hope you enjoy my love!

Nagi catches a glimpse of you from the corner of his eye, the subtle way your tongue pokes between plump lips, a total look of concentration decorating your features as you pipe a line of icing on the border of your gingerbread house. Nagi’s parents had taken the “hands off” approach to parenting, meaning the holidays were often not something to be made a big deal of with their constant travel. Christmas had not really been anything more than some presents arriving at the doorstep of his apartment. So even into his late twenties, as he was now, he had never made the most of the holiday. The most he got was a paper star that sat on top of his cactus with some string lights.

You, yourself, hadn’t been the most festive person in the world. But the idea of Nagi having never engaged in any holiday festivities pulled on even your grinchy heartstrings. Your family may not have had much, and maybe the most you had to look forward to on Christmas was the tradition of your mom’s pancakes, but you wouldn’t give that up for all the presents in the world knowing what you could have been missing out on. So here you both sat, fully decked out in festive attire at your dining room table decorating gingerbread houses. It had become a tradition for you both throughout the years of your relationship, a little competition of sorts. Feeding into his ego to have a friendly wager to who could make the best house.

It was almost comical to look over at your boyfriend, his white hair fully pulling together the Santa suit you insisted he wore for the evening. While you looked at him with mirth, he was looking at you with a hunger for more than the sweets scattered across the table. The short elf costume dress hugged your curves in a way he couldn’t simply disregard. His mouth all but watering as he let his gaze slide down your form. The elastic of the red and green striped thigh high socks that you wore rested against plump thighs, making the flesh at the top more accentuated in such a way it made his heart race in his chest.

“Shiro? You’ve barely touched your house, at this rate I’m gonna win!”

Your voice held a teasing edge, completely unaware of the war waging in Nagi’s mind, his self control hanging by a thread. His cookie house was barren in comparison to yours, him too distracted by the way your finger slipped past plush lips to clean some icing that had dripped onto your skin. His daze broken by the sound of your phone blaring with an alarm, notifying you both that the gingerbread men that had been baking, the final touches to your houses, were ready to be pulled from the oven. Nagi watched with rapt attention as you sauntered your way to the oven, your outfit swaying with your movements, lis tongue slipping past his lips to moisten the dry skin as you bent over to retrieve the cookies from the oven. Eyes locked on the subtle lift of your skirt revealing more of the delicate skin of your thighs, the same ones if he really focused, he could see the faded markings between them that his mouth had left a few nights prior.

As if on autopiliot, Nagi stood to his feet, stalking behind you in the kitchen. You couldn't help but notice the heat of his gaze, the way his eyes seemed to drink in every curve of your body.

"Those do smell amazing," he said, stepping closer to you. He leaned in behind you as if all at once, his breath warm against your ear as he spoke. "Almost as amazing as you look right now."

His hand brushed against your lower back, sending a shiver down your spine. You straightened up, turning to face him with a blush on your cheeks.

"Seishiro, they’re hot you cant have them they’re still hot.” you said, playfully swatting at his chest. "Now, let's decorate these babies. I have sprinkles and everything."

You said, a weak attempt to salvage your evening, knowing by the way his tone had dipped that the cookies were the last thing on his mind, You set the cookies on the counter with shaky hands as Nagi fully moved in behind you, his body pressed against your back effectively pinning you to the counter. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the strength in his arms as he reached around you to grab the icing bag that rested on the counter.

"I have a better idea," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. "Why don't we decorate each other instead?"

His hands slid up your sides, his fingers teasing the hem of your skirt. His large hands rested on your hips, turning you to face him. You gasped, your heart racing as you turned in his arms to face him. Your eyes met, the air between you charged with tension and unspoken desires. "Seishiro..." you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What are you doing, Shiro?" He smiled at your response, lips curling in satisfaction at the tremble in your voice, his eyes dark with desire.

"What do you want me to do, princess?"

His hands reached up as he cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks as he leaned in closer, his lips just inches from yours. He can see it, the way your eyes drop to his lips. Can hear the way you swallow heavily in anticipation before he closed the gap separating you both. Nagi’s lips claim your own, his hand curling around the base of your neck to pull you even deeper into the embrace. The kiss was filled with need, desperation to feel your skin against his own. But this wasn’t a primal need, he felt it down to his molecules. He wanted you, needed to keep his hands on you, whether that was just in a simple holding of your hand or something more he couldn’t care less he just knew that he didn’t want you to slip through his fingers. Didn’t want to risk not feeling the euphoria of kissing your lips. It almost pulls a whine from his lips when you pull away, resisting the urge to surge forwards once more.

Hie eyes stared into your own as they fluttered open once more, hands slipping beneath your knees to perch you on the countertop, reaching behind you to grasp the bag of icing A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he used the other hand to guide your head back, exposing the delicate skin of o=your neck to him, piping a trail of icing along the column of your throat. Dipping his head down, he wastes no time letting his tongue follow the work he had just created. The sweetness of the icing combined with the taste of your skin had him rolling his eyes back. The feeling of your hand pushing the hat from his head as your fingers entangle themselves in his hair. Graning against your skin, Nagi laps up all of the sweetness that once coated your skin, trailing his lips down further, his free hand curling against the hem of the skimpy dress that concealed your breasts form the descent of his hungry mouth. Tugging down the fabric in one swift motion, he groans, pulling back to admire the exposed skin of your chest.

“So fucking beautiful, bunny.” He growls, eyes devouring you as lust swims in their stormy depths. He relishes in the way your nipples pebble due to the exposure to the cold air.

“And all fucking mine.”

As if to emphasize the sincerity of his words he brings the icing bag to the skin that lay right above your breasts, sloppily writing out the kanji of his name before tucking down and capturing a perked bud between his lips, tongue lolling against it, coming to a point to flick at the sensitive area before letting his teeth capture it. Pulling his head back to tug until releasing, pupils blows wide seeing the bounce of the plush flesh he was rewarded with. He was quick to give the other nipple the same treatment. Hands trailing from your ankles to your knees, forcing your legs apart further under his strong grip. He groans into your chest as he feels your hands on him hand making a trail up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the hood of your clit before rubbing slow agonizing circles against your drenched center. His lips pull from the swell of your breast kissing up a trail to your ear, making no move to touch the icing that marked your skin.

“I was gonna be a nice boyfriend and get you all prepped to take my cock, bunny.”

He groans, pushing your panties to the side and sliding two fingers past your entrance with ease, curling them in just the way he knows would have your back arching. “But with the way this greedy cunt is sucking in my fingers I don’t think I’ll even need to do that will I baby?”

His chuckle is deep and almost cruel in your ear, Nagi wasted no time pushing the band of his sweats down to his thighs, cock springing against his abdomen, twitching at your following words. He leans forward palm resting against the counter as he cages in your form. Using is other to grab his cock at the base, rubbing it past your slickened folds, swiping the mushroom tip up your slit collecting your wetness, not that he needed the aid to slide in, being sure to nudge your clit with each pass. Having had enough of his own teasing he slides into your opening. Head falling back deep groan stumbling from his lips With one roll of his hips he was buried to the base feeling your walls suffocating all of him, head falling to the crook of your neck as he groans.

“Fuck princess, she’s sucking me in so good, god this cunt was made for me wasn’t it baby?”

Now that he was sunk completely in hie gives an experimental snap of his hips, the resulting pleas falling from your lips guiding each motion of his hips. He picks up the pace, angling his hips just right to nudge your clit with his pelvis. His hands hook under your knees, pulling you toward him until your ass was hanging off the counter so he could lay you back. Taking advantage of the new angle, Nagi presses your knees to your chest. The deeper angle also allowing you to be even more exposed to his hungry gaze, eyes locked on where you both met. Mesmerized by the mouth watering sight of his cock disappearing inside of you with each passing surge of his hips. Groaning a long growl of your name and a slew of profanities as the sound skin against skin and the squelching wetness of your cunt fills the kitchen.

“You hear that princess? How wet my cunt is for me angel?”

His hips don't falter, he keeps up his speed, though each snap of his hips hitting deeper with each pass, angling his hips just right to find that sensitive spot deep inside your walls, grinning maliciously when he does so, stealing any response you could have formed from your lips. He removes one hand from your knee, thumb swiping some of the icing that dripped down your skin. Once coated, slotting itself between your lips, eyes rolling back when your tongue circles the digit instinctually. His eyes roll back as you look up into his own, making a show of cleaning the digit and effectively coating it in your saliva.

“So sweet Sei, fuck. Need more daddy please.”

The desperation laid in your tone is more than enough to inspire his movements, especially when spoken around the skin of his digit still lodged between your lips. He slides the finger from your mouth, using the coated wetness as lubrication to rub tight circles on your clit. Hips picking up pace in time with the kneading. His lips leave your throat capturing a sensitive nipple into his mouth, sucking on it harshly, aiming to overstimulate all of your sensitive spots in tandem. Nagi out a loud growl of your name as the drag of your nails incorporated pain into the overwhelming pleasure he was feeling. The coil had been tight in his abdomen, but he would hold out, he wouldn’t allow himself to fall over the edge before you had. He picks up the pace once more, thrusts growing sloppy under the pleasure. His thumb quickens its pace pressing harder against the bundle of nerves. Gon on princess, come for me wanna feel those pretty walls clamp down on my cock.

“Fuck, bunny, just like that princess… Go ahead, come for me angel, gonna fill this pussy so good baby, gonna have you dripping. Go on baby fucking.. come. for. me.”

He accentuates every word with a deep harsh snap of his hips. He groans loud and deep feeling your walls slam down on his cock eyes rolling back as whines and whimpers fall from his lips as your own release triggers his own. His body trembles violently as he topples over the edge painting your walls white. He slows his thrusts, body shaking as he overstimulates you both just a little bit before his hips finally still. He releases your legs, quick to readjust your form wrapping you around him pressing a long loving kiss to your lips. He grips your thighs in strong hands, carrying you with ease back to the couch, resting you against him. Fingers carding through your hair as you rest against his chest, pressing a loving kiss to the dip of your temple.

“So, did I win our little decorating contest, or do you think we need a rematch?”

Dividers by @/saradika-graphics & @/cafekitsune.

#blue lock #blue lock smut #bllk smut #bllk imagines #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #nagi smut #nagi seishiro smut #seishiro nagi smut #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #nagi x reader #nagi blue lock #blue lock nagi #nagi x y/n #✐ᝰ. — samwrites

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willowsnook · 6 months ago

Note

hi hi i’d like brandy with lime in a copper mug please <3

lando norris x neighbor!reader

do you enjoy pissing me off?

----------------------------------------------------

Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d end up living comfortably in Monaco. Thanks to the success of your debut novel at 18, you’d become a well-known romance author with three bestsellers under your belt. Moving to Monaco felt like a dream, and you found endless inspiration from the breathtaking views and energy of the city. For the price you paid in rent, you’d expected some peace and quiet.

Unfortunately, your next-door neighbor seemed determined to ruin that.

Luckily, he wasn’t home often, but when he was, it was like a never-ending party. The constant noise, blaring music, and streams of visitors finally drove you to confront him one night. At 3 a.m., you pounded on his door, barely containing your frustration.

When he opened the door, you were met with a tall, curly-haired guy who seemed entirely too casual about the situation.

“What’s up?” he said, glancing at your pajama shorts and tank top.

“Do you enjoy pissing me off?” you questioned, gesturing to the time on your phone.

He flashed a sheepish grin, muttering a quick apology.

“I don’t need an apology,” you snapped. “I just need you to shut the fuck up.”

You expected him to be irritated, but he only smirked, clearly more amused than bothered.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a mock salute before closing the door.

This became a pattern over the months, and you were almost convinced he enjoyed winding you up. It was only later you found out he was an F1 driver named Lando Norris, which explained his frequent absences. You started marking race weekends on your calendar, planning your writing time around them.

But during an off-week, much to your dismay, Lando returned to Monaco. He greeted you with a grin when you stepped into the elevator one morning, his friend stifling a laugh behind him.

“Hey, neighbor,” he said brightly.

“Hey,” you replied shortly, crossing your arms.

“We won’t be loud tonight, I promise,” he assured, catching the look you threw him before heading to his apartment.

That night, he kept his promise—but something else pulled you from sleep. Sirens blared outside, and a flurry of activity seemed to be happening on your floor. You threw on a sweatshirt, slipped on some shoes, and opened your door just as Lando stepped out of his.

People were rushing around, and Lando quickly pulled you out of the way and into his side as an officer bustled past you.

“What’s going on?” you whispered, walking toward the commotion together. A police officer informed you that there’d been an attempted break-in on your floor.

You shivered, the thought of it unnerving. Lando noticed and tightened his hold on your arm, rubbing it gently.

Back at your door, he hesitated, looking reluctant to leave you alone. “Do you want to come over for a bit?” he asked. “Just until everything settles down. I don’t really like the idea of you here alone after all that.”

Though you wanted to insist you were fine, nerves got the better of you, and you agreed. His apartment, surprisingly, was tidier than you’d imagined, and you marveled at the collection of helmets he had on display.

Lando started a movie, but your mind kept drifting back to the break-in, every hallway noise making you jump. He noticed, his eyes soft with concern.

“Y/N,” he murmured, getting your attention. “Can we call a truce on the ‘hating me’ thing for the night? Come here.” He lifted a corner of the blanket, gesturing for you to come closer.

You hesitated but eventually scooted over, settling under the blanket beside him. His arm draped over the back of the sofa, and you tried to ignore the warmth radiating from him. When another noise from the hallway made you jump, he leaned in, murmuring softly, “You’re okay.” His hand came up to gently rub your arm, helping you relax.

“Honestly,” you sighed, “this movie isn’t distracting me at all. Could you just… talk to me? About racing, or whatever?”

He grinned, launching into a detailed account of his season so far. His passion was infectious, and as he described each race, you found yourself getting lost in his stories. After a while, the night’s tension had all but faded, and you felt a pang of regret over how things had started between you two.

“Lando… I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time about the noise all the time.”

He shook his head. “No need to apologize. I get it—you need peace and quiet to write.”

“You knew I was a writer?” you asked, surprised.

He blushed, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah… looked you up after our first ‘meeting,’” he admitted with a small grin.

You used the bathroom before getting ready to leave and you felt a familiar twist in your stomach as the reality of the night’s earlier events crept back in. Lando was clearing some empty glasses when he noticed your expression.

“Everything okay?” he asked, pausing in front of you.

You hesitated, biting your lip. “Would it be… weird if I stayed here tonight?” you asked, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I mean, just on the couch or something? It’s just… every little noise keeps getting to me.”

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch,” he said softly, his voice reassuring. “There’s plenty of room in my bed, if you’re okay with that.”

Your cheeks warmed, but the idea of being close to him was surprisingly comforting after everything. “Alright… thank you, Lando,” you murmured, following him into his room.

He climbed in first, and you slipped in next to him, a comfortable silence settling over you both as he wrapped a warm arm around you. The steady rhythm of his breathing was calming, and finally, you felt the tension slip away.

Just as your eyes drifted shut, he whispered, “You don’t have to worry tonight. I’ve got you.”

And for the first time that night, you truly believed it.

pt. 2 here

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #lando norris #lando norris x reader

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youngsadlesbian · 24 days ago

Text

THREADS OF FATE | chapter 02

chapter summary: during the battle against loki, you unexpectedly heals natasha romanoff, catching the attention of the avengers and shield. despite their repeated attempts to recruit you, you resist, uncertain of your place in their world.

a/n: hope you like it!

word count: 2,3k

warnings: none.

New York City had always been loud.

Ever since you moved here for college, you'd grown used to the constant hum of life—taxi horns blaring, people shouting into their phones, the rhythmic clatter of subway cars below your feet. The city never stopped.

It had a heartbeat, a rhythm that pulsed through the streets, something chaotic yet comforting.

And today had been no different.

You had spent the morning working your shift at a coffee shop near Grand Central, serving overpriced lattes to businessmen in expensive suits and tourists who marveled at the station’s architecture. Then, after finishing a long afternoon lecture at Columbia, you took the subway back downtown, planning to grab some food before heading to your apartment.

You never got that far.

The first explosion hit just as you stepped out of the station.

The ground shook beneath your feet, car alarms wailed, and suddenly, the world around you erupted into screams.

You turned toward the source of the sound—just in time to see the sky rip open.

You stood frozen, staring upward as the air itself seemed to split apart, like someone had taken a knife to the fabric of reality. And from that gaping wound in the sky, creatures began to spill out.

Metallic, grotesque things with gleaming eyes and snarling faces, their long limbs ending in weapons. They swarmed the buildings, diving down into the streets, opening fire without hesitation.

People ran.

People screamed.

And still, you stood there, paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat.

Your mind struggled to comprehend what was happening. Was this a terrorist attack? An invasion? Some kind of apocalyptic nightmare?

Then, the building next to you exploded.

Glass and concrete rained down like deadly hail, snapping you out of your daze.

Move. You need to move.

Your feet obeyed before your brain did, sprinting down the street as debris crashed behind you. Everywhere you looked, chaos reigned. Cars flipped over, storefronts shattered, smoke billowed into the air.

And above it all, the creatures—aliens, you realized with growing horror—descended upon the city like a swarm of locusts.

Then, a streak of red and gold flashed past you.

You turned just in time to see Iron Man soaring through the sky, repulsors blazing as he took down several of the creatures in quick succession.

You barely had time to process the fact that Iron Man was real before a massive, hammer-wielding figure landed in the street a few yards away, the very ground shaking beneath him.

Thor.

Another explosion rocked the street, and suddenly, there was a man in a star-spangled suit, ushering civilians to safety with a commanding presence that left no room for hesitation.

Captain America.

This was no terrorist attack.

This was a full-blown war.

You weren’t a fighter.

You had no weapons, no combat training. The only thing you had was an ability you barely understood, one that had always felt more like an inconvenience than a gift.

But as the battle raged on, as people screamed and bled and died around you, you knew you couldn’t just stand there.

You had to help.

Ducking into the ruins of a crumbling café, you pressed yourself against the wall, trying to steady your breathing. You spotted a group of civilians huddled behind an overturned car, trapped as one of the metal creatures advanced on them.

Without thinking, you grabbed a loose brick and hurled it at the creature’s head.

It didn’t do much—barely even made a sound against its armor—but it was enough to get its attention.

The thing turned toward you, eyes glowing.

Shit.

You braced yourself for death, but before it could strike, a gunshot rang out.

The alien jerked back, a hole blasted through its skull.

Then, out of nowhere, a woman in black came barreling into view, flipping onto the creature’s back and twisting its head with a sickening snap.

It crumpled to the ground, lifeless.

And that’s when you saw her.

Natasha Romanoff.

Even with blood streaked across her face, hair tangled and wild from battle, she looked impossibly in control.

"Get out of here!" she barked at you, already turning toward her next target.

But you didn’t run.

Because as she moved, you saw it—the deep gash along her side, crimson staining her suit.

She was hurt.

And before you could think better of it, you were moving.

"Wait!" you called out.

She barely spared you a glance. "Go, now!"

"You’re injured!"

"I’m fine."

She wasn’t.

You could feel it—the pain radiating off her in waves, the sluggish way she was moving, the way she favored one side. She was bleeding out.

You didn’t think.

You simply acted.

Closing the distance between you, you reached out—placing your hands over the wound before she could shove you away.

And then, it happened.

The warmth, the golden glow, the pulse of life pouring from you into her.

You barely registered Natasha’s sharp inhale, the way her muscles tensed beneath your touch. You just focused, willing the torn flesh to mend, the wound to seal.

It took only seconds.

But when you pulled away, Natasha’s eyes were wide.

Her breathing was steady.

And her wound was gone.

"What the hell," she whispered.

You swallowed hard. "I—"

Before you could explain, before she could even process what had just happened, a voice crackled in her earpiece.

"Romanoff? You still alive?"

Natasha exhaled sharply, pressing a hand to where the wound had been just moments ago. Then, in a perfectly even voice, she responded:

"Yeah. I’m here."

Her gaze flickered back to you, something unreadable in her expression.

"Stay here," she ordered.

And then she was gone.

You didn’t stay put.

How could you?

The battle raged on around you, the city falling apart piece by piece, and the Avengers were the only ones standing between humanity and complete annihilation.

So you kept moving, dodging debris, helping whoever you could. You didn’t use your powers again—not until a man was crushed beneath a fallen beam, his breaths ragged. You healed him in a heartbeat.

And in doing so, you sealed your fate.

Because the moment he stumbled to his feet, still dazed from what had just happened, another figure landed near you.

A man in blue and red.

Steve Rogers.

Captain America.

His sharp, assessing eyes locked onto yours, then drifted down to the man you had just healed. Understanding dawned in them almost instantly.

You swallowed.

"…Hi?"

He didn’t respond.

Instead, he pressed two fingers to his comm.

"Stark, I need you to see something."

And just like that, you were no longer just a civilian caught in the crossfire.

You were something else.

Something they weren’t going to let walk away.

The moment Captain America took notice of you, everything changed.

One minute, you were just a bystander trying to survive an alien invasion, and the next, you were in the midst of the most elite force the world had ever seen.

You barely had time to process what was happening as Captain America placed a firm hand on your shoulder. "You need to come with us." His voice was calm, but his gaze was intense, assessing every inch of you.

There was no room for argument.

Before you could say anything, another figure appeared beside him—Black Widow. Natasha’s expression was still unreadable, but you could see the curiosity in her eyes as she took in the strange, golden glow still lingering faintly around your hands.

"We’ve got things covered here," Natasha said, glancing over her shoulder at the battle raging in the distance. "Get her to Stark."

"Understood," Steve replied, motioning for you to follow him.

You barely had time to question what was happening as they led you through the chaotic streets of New York, pushing through crowds of survivors, emergency responders, and Avengers.

Your mind raced.

What had you just done? You had healed Natasha—one of the most skilled agents the world had ever known—and now, you were being whisked away by two of the most powerful people on Earth.

For a moment, you considered running. It was instinct, something deep inside you urging you to escape before things escalated. But you knew that wasn’t an option. There was no going back.

The streets seemed to stretch endlessly as you followed them through the destruction. Finally, they led you to a narrow alley, where a sleek, high-tech van awaited. The SHIELD insignia was emblazoned on its side.

SHIELD.

The name had always been more of a myth to you, a whispered legend you had heard about in passing. Now, it was a reality—a reality that was about to swallow you whole.

You were ushered inside, and the doors shut behind you with an ominous hiss. The van took off at a speed that made your stomach flip.

"Keep your head down," Steve said, sitting across from you with Natasha beside him. "You’re coming with us to a secure location. We have questions."

You nodded, but your mind was still spinning.

As you sped through the streets of New York, the chaos of the battle felt like a distant memory. The city’s skyline blurred as you were taken farther and farther away from the carnage. The air inside the van felt thick, and the quiet was almost unbearable after everything you had witnessed.

Finally, the van came to a stop. The doors opened, revealing a sleek, underground facility with white walls, sleek metallic surfaces, and the hum of advanced technology. The air smelled sterile.

"Welcome to SHIELD," Natasha said, her tone still unreadable. "This is where we work."

It was the most intimidating place you had ever seen, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were about to step into something much bigger than yourself.

The moment you stepped out of the van, a team of SHIELD agents rushed forward to escort you inside, and you were taken into a small, sterile room with only a table and a few chairs. Natasha and Steve flanked you on either side.

"Do you know why you’re here?" Steve asked, his voice firm yet measured.

You swallowed hard. "No."

"We’ve seen your abilities," Natasha spoke, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You healed me in the middle of the battle. That’s not something you can just do."

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "I—I don’t really know how it works. It just… happens."

"And that’s what we need to understand." Steve leaned forward slightly, his gaze sharp. "You’ve been trained, haven’t you? You have to be. A power like that doesn’t manifest without purpose."

"No, I’ve never been trained. I just… I’ve always had this ability. I can heal. I don’t know how, but I can."

"How long have you had it?" Natasha pressed.

You hesitated, a brief flash of your childhood crossing your mind—how your parents had always told you that your gifts were part of a greater plan, that everything you did was in the hands of destiny. But you knew now wasn’t the time for such thoughts. "Since I was a little girl," you said quietly. "I just thought it was normal."

Steve and Natasha exchanged a glance. The tension between them was palpable, but neither of them spoke right away.

After a long pause, Steve leaned back in his chair. "You’ve been living in New York for a while now. You’re a civilian—no training, no connections. Yet you just healed one of our best agents in the middle of a battlefield. That’s no small feat."

Natasha continued, "We need people like you, people who have abilities that could turn the tide of a fight. People who could make a difference."

You stiffened. You understood the implication, but it didn’t sit well with you. "I’m not a soldier. I’m not a fighter. I just… I just want to help people."

"Which is why you’re exactly what we need," Natasha said. "You have no idea the kinds of threats we’re facing, threats that require… people like you."

Steve’s tone shifted, becoming more insistent. "We want you to join us. To be part of SHIELD."

You blinked, stunned. The words hung in the air like a heavy weight, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond.

Finally, you found your voice. "I’m not a soldier," you repeated, this time more firmly. "I don’t think I can help in that way. I don’t want to be part of your… war."

Steve’s expression softened slightly, but Natasha’s didn’t. "We’re not asking you to be a soldier," she said, her voice almost coaxing now. "We’re asking you to help us protect people—innocent people, the ones who can’t defend themselves."

You shook your head. "I can’t. I won’t."

There was a long silence. You could feel the weight of their disappointment, but you stood firm in your decision. You weren’t ready to give up your life and be thrust into a world of espionage, violence, and endless conflict.

And no matter how much they wanted you, you weren’t going to be the hero they hoped you would be.

After a long moment of quiet, Steve finally stood. "We understand," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "But we’re not going to stop trying to convince you. You have a gift, and the world is full of people who need it."

Natasha stood as well, her eyes never leaving you. "We’ll be in touch," she said, her tone colder now.

You didn’t say anything else as they left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The moment the door clicked shut behind them, you exhaled in relief.

You weren’t ready for this world. You weren’t ready for the responsibility that came with it. And no matter how much the SHIELD agents tried to convince you, you knew deep down that you weren’t meant to be a part of their mission.

At least, not yet.

comment below if you want to be added to my taglist!

@mythixmagic @imnotasuperhero @ctrlaltedits @jessycatatiana @naominanuq @natashasmuse @poisonlittlebutterfly

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #wanda maximoff #mcu #marvel

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qwimblenorrisstan · 7 months ago

Text

Cuddling with 141 (+Roach!)

Summary: How I think Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost and Roach would cuddle + little blurbs.

Word Count: ~ 2.1k

Warnings: None!

A/N: wrote this at 2am😭 hope you enjoy <3

Requests are open!

Simon “Ghost” Riley 💀

- Tries his hardest to act tough and scary, but only because that’s how a Lieutenant is supposed to act. Or at least that’s what he thinks.

- Also isn’t sure how to cuddle, never saw his dad trying to do anything other than abuse his mom, and his brother was dead before he could ask him for any advice.

- As stiff as a board, has no idea what to do, just awkwardly sitting and glancing at you, increasingly concerned.

- Would eventually get the hang of it only after Johnny made fun of him for being so awful with it, did it just to spite his beloved Sergeant (also practiced cuddling with Johnny, obviously just for practice, nothing more.)

- Likes being the little spoon.

It had been one hell of a mission, 141 barely finding a safe house to rest in for a few hours and restock their weapons and ammo before having to move again. A few more hours, and though Simon knew he should be resting, he couldn’t get his brain off of alert mode, so he settled for watching the game on the telly, even if it was in Spanish. He was mostly fluent, anyway.

You had plopped down next to him after a few minutes, mumbling something about cleaning your gun, taking a rag to wipe it down and try to clear it out, your hands soon slipping down as your eyes dropped.

The other boys had gone off somewhere else in the safe house, probably to find a bed or secure it further like he should be doing right now, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to stand up and shake you off.

You eventually went fully limp, head banging against his shoulder, somehow now waking you even then as you mumbled something, hand slipping towards your gun’s trigger. It was then that he moved, but not to get up, simply to gently pry the firearm from your hand as he clicked the safety on and let it drop to the floor.

The game blared in the background, but Simon was more focused on you, still leaning into him, and the fact that he was even entertaining this. His muscles were stiff, quickly growing sore and agitated at him after the constant use of the day. Slowly, he relaxed, finding that you melted into his body a lot easier when he wasn’t tensed up completely.

Slowly sliding one arm around your waist, obviously just to make sure you didn’t fall off the couch, nothing more, Simon leaned his head back against the couch, his own honey-brown eyes fluttering shut soon enough as he found enough peace of mind for an hour or two of rest.

Not much, but a welcome reprieve.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish 🧼

- Has no shame at all. Will cuddle you during exfil in front of everyone with no care.

- Very clingy, and also a living furnace. Good to have in the winters, since he keeps you warm, but a nightmare in the summers.

- Will whine like a puppy if you refuse to cuddle with him for heat reasons or whatever, absolutely desperate, golden retriever of a man.

- Definitely see him as the type to enjoy lying on top of you, or being the big spoon, but is down to experiment with anything you want. And I mean everything. Frighteningly open to experimentation.

- Sleeps wild or like a rock, no in between.

Of course, they’d sent Task Force 141 and their one notoriously cold-sensitive member out to Russia, staking out for any sign of a recent contract signed between them and Germany, an agreement for some form of biochemical weapon that could be catastrophic in the wrong hands.

“Doin’ alright over there, Shivers?”

You heard a Scottish voice ask from the crunchy grass you were all lying in, Gaz and Price twenty feet to your left, Ghost twenty to your right, you and Johnny right next to each other. You could see your own body shaking, feeling the ground leach out any remaining warmth from it despite your thick clothing.

“Yeah, just-t-t cold.”

You saw Ghost glance back at you, probably having heard your teeth chattering from over there. You heard the radio hiss before his voice sounded.

“When I said stay frosty, I didn’t mean it literally.”

His deadpan tone said, earning a hushed bark of laughter from Johnny, and Price shooting you a sympathetic look with Gaz. You sighed.

“Very funny-y, Ghost.”

You mumbled, not even bothering to say it over the radio. Warm palms encompassed your wrists before you could do anything to stop it, and Johnny moved in closer.

“What’re you-?”

“Ain’t gonna be any use to us as a popsicle, eh Shivers?”

You felt the weight of his body settle even closer, nearly right on top of you, gingerly taking your numb fingers and switching your gloves out with his. His gloves were already warm, and larger and kept the air insulated better. Your gloves barely fit his hands, but he didn’t seem to mind. His body heat leaked into you, numb limbs springing back to life as that pinpricky sensation crawled up your body.

You relaxed a bit more into the snow, mind clearer now. Soap moved even closer, now quite literally on top of you, trying not to crush you with his weight but also keeping you nice and warm. After a moment of shifting around and adjusting, you got quite comfortable.

“Thanks, Johnny.”

You mumbled, already seeing the stupid grin he’d be wearing because of the praise.

“Anytime, bonnie.”

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick ☁️

- Serial cuddle enjoyer.

- Usually the one to fall asleep first because he’s more relaxed around his team. Has fallen asleep on Ghost’s shoulder before and been promptly pushed off.

- Prefers cuddling in bed over anywhere else, will slip into your bed in the middle of the night if he felt lonely or somehow has a sixth sense for you getting nightmares.

- Likes cuddling in a pretzel sort of position, or face-to-face despite the fact that he buries his head in your neck every time.

Rousing from his sleep for god knows why, Kyle rubbed his eyes, slipping from the warm bed he slept in and padding over to the kitchen to grab a drink of water. His throat was dry and his tongue felt like sandpaper. Probably the consequences of not drinking enough water while on mission, but he was in his little flat and off duty for now, so it wasn’t like it mattered much anyway.

Drinking nearly an entire glass, he heard a small thug, and his sluggish brain snapped awake as instinct kicked in, he put the glass down, approaching your room where he’d heard the sound come from slowly. Your door was already open.

He peeked inside, abruptly opening it to avoid the awful tension of the slow creaks it would’ve made had he dragged it out, only to be met with the sight of you, his roommate, curled up on the floor and sniffling.

His eyes softened and he crouched down next to you, hands moving to brush the hair out of your face as he caught sight of your watery eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

He asked, nearly a whisper for fear of making you jump. You sniffled again, and tried to get to your feet, only to stumble and be caught by Kyle again before being sat on the edge of the bed by him.

“Had a nightmare.”

You answered in a meek tone, seeming a bit embarrassed, which then was overridden by surprise when Kyle sat on the edge of the bed next to you, calloused hands gently shifting your body around until he was lying right next to you, his dark brown eyes gazing into yours.

“I have them too,”

He admitted, watching as you carefully slipped a hand around him, moving closer as he pulled the blanket over both of your bodies. He relaxed, tense muscles going nearly limp as his head leaned into your shoulder, his breathing deepening out as both of your eyelids grew heavy, eventually shutting as you drifted off into a peaceful rest.

John Price 🏷️

- Is just a big bear of a man. Loves cuddling with his missus when he gets home from a mission.

- Prefers spooning, but when his joints get achy and sore he’ll just lay on his back and let you lay on top of him.

- Is a human furnace just like Soap, so you probably won’t be needing a blanket.

- He usually waits until you’re asleep to fall asleep, but on the really rough nights, he’s out in a few seconds flat.

- Enjoys having your hands in his hair.

- Definitely an experienced cuddler.

Just as you finished your shower, you heard the front door unlocking and opening, and not caring much about getting proper clothes on, you rushed over and pulled a very-tired-looking John into a hug.

He chuckled, hand giving you a few little pats on the head as he pulled you in, taking a deep whiff of the smell of your body wash and shampoo, before slowly releasing.

“Missed me, huh? Missed you too, bird.”

He mumbled as you refused to let go, only releasing when he gave you a light little pinch on the arm, leaving you to finish getting ready after your shower as he trudged off to change and probably at least get a comb through his hair.

With a small smile now on your face, you hurried through your skin and haircare routines faster than ever before, throwing on some underwear and pajamas. As you walked into your shared bedroom, you found John struggling to get a knot out of his brown hair.

“Let me,”

You said, gently taking the comb from his large fingers, brushing the ends of the knot out first, working down to the center of it when you finally got it out. He took the comb and placed it down on his little desk with a little “Thanks, darlin’”, then took your hand and led you over to the bed.

He crawled in first, groaning when his body was finally able to sink into the soft mattress of the bed, body aching after weeks of being gone as he laid on his back, you being quick to crawl above him, head laying against his chest.

He loosed a deep sigh, pulling the blankets over both of you despite the warmth already being shared between you two.

“M’ glad to be home.”

He muttered, pulling you closer, arms settling around you as he already began drifting off.

Smiling, you replied.

“Me too.”

Gary “Roach” Sanderson 🪳

- I definitely hc him as nonverbal (like he is in the games, for whatever reason, you can decide why) but that doesn’t mean he’s any worse at cuddling.

- Roach is a little bit of a wild sleeper, so expect a few nudges and maybe some flips from him during the night.

- Enjoys the sweetheart position the most, just because it lets him hear your heartbeat.

- Serial nuzzle enjoyer. Will nuzzle into you at any moment he can, it’s just something he really likes doing.

- Douses his pillowcases with a lethal amount of your signature perfume or what reminds him of you (has an entire candle of it, too.)

- Can be very clingy.

When you got back home from the little girl’s night you’d had, finding Gary wrapped around one of your pillows and holding it with a death grip, your favorite perfume on the bedside table and a lit candle to match in the same scent wasn’t something you’d been expecting.

As soon as you walked into the room, he glanced up, beckoning you closer almost frantically. With a small smile, you held up a finger, signaling to wait for just one moment. You slipped out of the dress you’d been donning, and pulled off the shoes as well, the heels having made your feet ache anyways.

You used some basic wipes to get any makeup off, deciding that the more complicated cleansing process would be left for the morning, and promptly pulled some pajamas on, finally walking over to the bed, and being pulled in.

Within seconds, you were under the covers, and softly laughing at how he hooked one arm around the back of your neck, pulling you gently into where your head was against his chest, and intertwining his legs with yours. The scruff of his slightly unshaven face scratched lightly against you as he rubbed and nuzzled into you unashamedly, peppering a few little kisses on you while he was at it.

“Clingy,”

You murmured teasingly, and he frowned for a moment, raising a brow as if to call you a hypocrite, and you hummed lightly for a moment in thought.

“Touché.”

You said to his silent response, pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose, before finally settling in and getting comfortable against his body. Within a few minutes, the both of you were yawning, sleep pulling both of you slowly under as the rhythm of your breathing deepened.

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pastryfication · 8 months ago

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love at first fire | lando norris

part of the love at first . . . series

you’re jolted awake by the shrill scream of the fire alarm, cutting through the silence of the night like a knife. groggy and disoriented, you sit up, heart racing, trying to make sense of the sudden chaos. it takes a moment for the reality to sink in—the alarm is real, and you need to get out.

you fumble in the dark, grabbing the first things within reach: your phone, your keys, a hoodie you pull over your sleep-rumpled hair. the alarm continues its relentless wail as you slip into your shoes, barely managing to shove your feet in as you head for the door.

the hallway is a blur of movement, neighbors rushing out of their apartments, eyes wide with panic and confusion. the air is thick with the scent of smoke, faint but unmistakable, urging you to move faster. you join the stream of people heading for the stairs, your mind racing as fast as your feet.

outside, the cool night air hits you like a splash of water. you’re on the street now, along with the rest of the building’s residents, all of you looking up at the structure that’s been your home, now alive with flashing lights and the distant sound of sirens. the alarm is still blaring, muffled but persistent, a constant reminder of the danger you’ve just escaped.

you’re shivering, partly from the cold, partly from the adrenaline still coursing through your veins. you pull your hoodie tighter around yourself, scanning the crowd, searching for familiar faces, but mostly, just trying to calm your racing heart.

and then you see him.

at first, it’s just a face in the crowd, someone standing a few feet away, hands shoved into the pockets of a jacket, dark hair tousled as if he’d just rolled out of bed. which, you realize, he probably has. his expression mirrors your own—confused, a little dazed, and clearly not expecting to be outside at this hour.

your heart skips a beat. he notices you looking, and for a split second, your eyes meet. you feel a jolt, like a current running through your body, something electric and undeniable. it’s not just recognition, it’s something deeper, something that makes the world tilt on its axis, leaving you momentarily breathless.

he takes a step closer, his eyes still locked on yours, and you realize he’s coming over. your mind races, searching for something to say, but all words seem to have abandoned you, leaving you with nothing but the sound of your own pounding heart.

“crazy night, huh?” he says, his voice warm and tinged with a hint of a smile, as if the situation isn’t entirely unwelcome.

you manage a nod, still struggling to find your voice. “yeah, not exactly how i planned on spending it.”

he chuckles, and the sound comforts you. “same here. didn’t expect to meet anyone at this hour either.”

there’s a pause, the kind that should be awkward but isn’t. instead, it feels like a moment suspended in time, something fragile and precious that neither of you wants to break.

“you live here?” he asks, nodding toward the building behind you.

“yeah,” you say, finally finding your voice. “third floor.”

“me too,” he says, and there’s something in the way he says it that makes you wonder how you never ran into him before. “funny how we’ve probably passed each other a hundred times and never noticed.”

“guess it took a fire alarm to bring us together,” you say, and you can’t help but smile.

he grins back, and for a moment, the world around you fades—the noise, the people, the flashing lights. it’s just the two of you, standing in the middle of the street in the dead of night, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

“maybe we should do something less dramatic next time,” he says, his tone light, but his eyes serious.

“i’d like that,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through you that has nothing to do with the fire.

you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something familiar about him, something you can’t quite place. but it doesn’t matter, not really. what matters is the way he’s looking at you, like you’re the only person in the world, like this is a moment that’s meant to be.

and as the two of you stand there, you start to talk—about the building, about the chaos of the night, about everything and nothing at all. he’s easy to talk to, and you find yourself laughing despite the situation, the tension of the night melting away.

it’s not until the fire trucks arrive, lights flashing and engines rumbling, that you catch a glimpse of something that makes you pause. one of the firefighters does a double-take when he sees him, and then, as if realizing who he is, offers a small, knowing smile.

you glance back at the guy standing next to you, your heart skipping a beat as the pieces start to fall into place. the familiar face, the way he carries himself, the recognition in the firefighter’s eyes—it all clicks.

he catches your expression, a small smile playing on his lips. “you just realized, didn’t you?”

you feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment. “i . . . yeah,” you admit, unable to keep the smile off your face. “you’re lando norris.”

“guilty,” he says with a grin. “but let’s keep it between us, yeah? at least for tonight.”

and just like that, in the middle of the chaos, you realize that something has shifted, something new has begun. it’s not just the fire that’s burning—it’s the start of something between you and lando, something that feels like it was meant to be.

and as you stand there, side by side, lando’s hand slowly reach in down to intertwine with yours, you know that this is a night you’ll never forget. the night everything changed. the night you met him. the night of love at first fire.

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ninguitar · 6 months ago

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୨୧　𝓐IN'T YOUR GIRLFRIEND!　˒˒　MB

─── ﹙☕️﹚you're not her girlfriend, and she's not yours, so why was her jaw clenched at the mere sight of you with another person?

pairing. manon bannerman x 7th member f!r genre. angst & fluff wc. 1k notes. lowk don't rlly like this but wtv 😭 loosely based off of a gilmore girls scene tho !!! req here ( MASTERLIST )

now playing ⋆ boyfriend by ariana grande ft. social house

"IT'S JUST ME AND YOU, AGAINST THE WORLD."

since the start of dream academy, that was all manon repeated, the particular sentence becoming a mantra in your head. the soft, gentle tone of her voice only made you believe her words more—the way they just roll off of her tongue so smoothly, like it was everything to her.

the strobing lights of the lively party, accompanied by the buzzing of laughter, music, and people's bodies up against one-another's, only serves to make your head reel. you knew the responsibilities of being an idol, especially socializing with others to form connections on late nights where you could be at home, unwinding after a stressful week of constant promotions.

and yet, despite all the chaos that fills the venue, all of manon's mind was set on one thing—you. her jaw clenches with her eyes scrutinizing your every movement, and her ears tuning in on the sound of your infectious laughter from across the venue.

manon thinks—no, she knows—that from any proximity, she could pick up on the sound of your distinct laughter, and the way your hair was tousled and lips glossy. her eyes drift to your silhouette in the crowd, accompanied by another silhouette, noticing the gleaming, ear-to-ear smile playing on your face.

with her ring-clad hand curling around the glass of her soda, the drink practically crumples under her fist from the pressure on it, her irritation growing at her chest from the sight.

for the entirety of dream academy up to now, you and manon have been stuck in the same continual cycle like mice—the two of you attached to one-another's hips, then random, sporadic periods of avoiding one-another, and then back to acting like you two would die without seeing each other. so why was manon seething while her eyes scan for you over the crowd?

a set of arms suddenly snake around your waist, making a quiet squeal escaping your throat, before you realize it was manon.

"jesus," you mumble under your breath audibly, as you take a deep breath.

"who's this?" the ghanaian girl mutters, her eyes narrowing down at the guy beside you. your eyes quickly dart towards the guy with uncertainty, as you meekly mumble out, "just a new friend."

"new friend, huh?" manon drawls, sending a glare down the guy, her jealousy practically like a ticking bomb, "isn't it getting late? we should leave, shouldn't we?"

the girl nudges your shoulder gently, beckoning you to just agree, as you struggle between whether or not you should follow manon.

"c'mon, it's like, what, 10 pm," the low register of your "new friend" barely audible above the blaring party music, "loosen up!" he exclaims, a toothy grin playing on his face, which did nothing but fuel manon's resentment.

"i don't need to be told to loosen up," the ghanaian girl sneers, shaking her head, as she scoffs while making inaudible comments under her breath. a slight furrow forms between her brows, her eyes piercing through the guy, with her mouth slightly open, as if she was in disbelief at his ego.

"jeez, what's your issue?" he grumbles, as he leans his arms on your shoulders, a grin playing on his face. "besides, 'm sure she still wants to be here," he directs at you.

before manon could make another quip, your hands curl around her wrist, dragging her elsewhere. a thin line presses onto your lips, as your hands move to the girl's shoulders, trying to push her gently.

"you're no fun when you're tense, y'know that?" a low chuckle escapes her breath, and god, you could feel your knees buck at her sardonic comment.

"maybe this whole thing could be solved between that new friend of yours and i if we just sat down, had a little heart-to-heart; he could tell me his issues, and i'll tell him mine," she giggles before continuing:

"i promise i'll speak slowly."

"manon!" you hoarsely exclaim her name, as you lament at her taunting comments. with your back plastered against the cold, marble wall, manon practically cages you in.

"the fuck is up with you?" you mutter, disdain painting your features, as you watch manon's arms cross against her chest, glaring at you.

"i wonder what's up, especially when you're so clearly flirting that random guy," her lips press into a thin line, trying to sound casual, but you catch the prominent edge in her voice.

you rub your temples, "i'm not dealing with your shit right now; this isn't the place nor time for this, manon," and even then, your tone was gentle, her name rolling off your tongue smoothly.

"i- i mean, i don't get you. you tell me you wanna be mine, then ditch me right after, and it just leaves me there, fuckin' waiting for you. even the members can tell," you sigh, all in one breath, as your cheeks flare, "this- this was stupid; we shouldn't have even crossed this boundary in the first place!"

"calm down, fuck, baby," manon pauses, the nickname just slipping out of her mouth almost instinctively. she tries to lean closer to you, only to be held at an arms' length due to your hands pressed against her chest, moving her away.

you cross your arms against your chest, heat curling at your cheeks, "so, talk."

"i didn't mean for things to be like this, okay? i like you—more than anybody else. please, y/n," she practically pleas, her hands interlocking with yours instinctively. her nails hover over your hands, sending chains of shivers down your spine.

"how can i even believe you?" you snicker, eyes glazing over her expression and the very obvious hint of hurt on her face, your words bruising her ego.

her hands pull on your collar before you could register what was happening, "it's only you; i kept us as friends because i was afraid—afraid of the trouble we could be in." and by then, manon couldn't help but chastise herself for being so stupid when handling the situation, feeling her complacency crumble.

"manon—" it was absurd how easy it was for the ghanaian girl to make your breath hitch and your head spin, especially with the sincerity laced in her words that made you love struck. with your gaze fixating on her lips, your hands hastily move to the back of her neck, your lips capturing hers.

the girl practically leaves you breathless, as you pull away, her breath hitting against your lips, "been wantin' to do this since forever," her words almost desperate-sounding.

"i don't wanna be just whatever we are—girlfriends only," you lay out flatly, your hands resting on manon's shoulders, as you slightly tilt your head.

"so, will you be mine?" a chuckle escapes her breath, a hint of her previous teasing demeanor returning, as she buries her head against the nook of your neck, sighing heavenly.

but you don't want me to touch nobody else (nobody)

baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody

taglist. ୨ৎ @lararajjj @kisshae @sed7ction

@jellaaa @yeetaberry127 @angelixstorm

#fics 　.#kpop imagines #kpop x reader #katseye x reader #katseye imagines #katseye manon #katseye manon bannerman #katseye manon x reader #katseye manon bannerman x reader #manon bannerman x reader #manon x reader

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imjustasugablob · 4 months ago

Text

Feel Me Up

Trainer!Leon x Female!Reader

tags: trainer au, asshole!Leon, slight angst? hate sex,

part 2

Blinding fluorescent lights were the first thing you saw as you opened your eyes. A blaring alarm, almost a siren, woke you from your "peaceful" slumber, on a cold metal bed topped with a pile of cloth that could hardly be called a mattress.

Four A.M. It was time to train. You hadn't planned on joining the government. Ever since you were young, you'd always dreamt of becoming a doctor, just like your parents. You thought they used to help people, save lives. Not create the demons that made hell on earth in the form of the C virus.

That horrendous day in Tatchi. The scene was burned into the back of your eyelids, seeping behind your vision when you turned to rest, like acid slowly coursing through your brain and frying it. You didn't have much of a choice after that, did you? They thought you'd join Neo Umbrella just like your parents had. So it was either - live a life under constant surveillance from the government, or join them to win back their favour.

Shaking your thoughts loose, you made your way to the bathroom to clean up before reporting to your trainer. Skennedy's gonna eat me alive if I'm late.

It was a terrible nickname, but you couldn't take the credit for it. Your teammates had come up with it after day 1, when Leon had successfully traumatised anyone who was getting cold feet about joining the DSO. The batch went from 51 trainees to about 23 that day. For good reason - Leon was not going easy on anyone.

For the past month, all of you had been coming back to the dorms covered in scratches on every piece of skin left exposed, and bruises on skin that wasn't. When you first saw the grape coloured mark the size of a palm on your ribs, you thought you were dying. You didn't even know bruises could be that dark. Or outlined in green.

But it wouldn't be fair to say that everyone was going through it. Cause Leon particularly hated you. Every quip, every correct answer, every successful parry only seemed to piss him off further. As if he wanted you to fail, to cry in front of everyone and quit. Others had noticed it, too, but no one wanted to say anything out of fear of coming in his line of fire. But you never gave him the satisfaction.

Grabbing some food from the dining hall, you made your way to the training room.

"You're late." Leon's voice had an icy edge to it this morning.

There were 5 others who weren't there yet. But you were used to it by now.

"It was four thirty on the dot when I walked-"

"Don't. Talk back to me."

Taking a long stride, he was right up to your face in an instant. His voice had dropped in volume and in pitch. A silent threat for only your ears to hear. You could practically see him foaming at the mouth. You didn't back down, however, keeping your chin up and staring straight down his eyes. His intimidation tactics didn't work on you. You hated his guts too much to offer him respect unless it was forced out of you.

You noticed the colour of his irises was a soft blue, like the morning sky, hardened around the edges by the years who had been unkind, more to his mind than his body. It felt like they were the only thing holding back the demons inside his head. You wondered how much shit he had seen, all the way from Raccoon City till now.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?", you could hear your friends whispering. You didn't have the guts to say anything back to Leon. Not today. You didn't wanna lose a limb. He slowly retreated back to the centre of the room, on the training mat.

"Everybody, pair up. You'll be fighting each other today. You will be ranked on the basis of your scores. I hope everyone knows that your ranks will affect your position and assignments after joining."

"And since there's an odd number of you,", he looked straight into your eyes, "you'll be fighting me today."

Well, fuck.

You watched impatiently as one by one Leon called out the names of your peers, watching them beat the shit out of each other on the mat. Nobody was "friends" inside the training room, that was for sure. Blow after blow landing over flesh, you could hear a few bones crack even from a distance. One of them called for timeout as their nose broke, bleeding profusely, staining his white clothes with scarlet.

"No." Leon's voice echoed in the big hall, ceasing all the jeers and cheering from everybody egging the fighters on.

"No? What the fuck do you mean, "No"? He broke his nose, the fights over", called out his opponent.

"The fight isn't over until one of you is physically incapable of continuing. Carry on, otherwise you know where the door is."

Leon's demand was met with silence. The young man took a moment to catch his breath, looking at his partner with pity. He pulled him to his feet, maybe so he wouldn't feel as bad about what was about to come next. You couldn't bring yourself to watch, so you turned your eyes away. A sickening crack resounded in the silence, before the man landed in a heap on the mat, knocked out.

"Next." Leon's voice was curt and neutral, completely devoid of any sympathy or emotion. You didn't expect him to be wallowing at the sight in front of him, but a little humanity would have been appreciated.

"It's you", Leon called out.

Just then, the sirens blared again, signalling that training was over for the day. Was it already eight? But of course he wasn't gonna let you up that easily.

"You'll be staying back. The rest of you may leave."

Holy shit. Was he seriously gonna challenge you to hand to hand combat? You know you didn't stand a chance against the seasoned veteran he was - trained by Krauser himself, had more than 10 years of experience on the field. You felt the hair rise up on the back of your neck at the thought that it would just be you and him.

He could destroy me right now and no one would stop him.

You slowly walked towards the centre of the mat where he was standing, inhaling deeply. It's okay. You got this. He's fucking old. And big. I'm faster.

You tried not to dwell on the fact that he was almost twice your size, and that his biceps were almost the circumference of your whole head. He could crush you like a grape if he wanted to.

You swallowed, and Leon wasn't gonna let a sign of weakness go unnoticed. "You scared?", he asked in a mocking tone. "Let's not act like this is a fair fight, shall we?", you snapped back.

"Look around you. You think anything in this fucked up reality we're living in is fair?" His voice shook slightly as he spoke. It was the most emotion you'd seen out of him.

You paused for a second, biting back the quick retort that rose to your mouth.

"Why do you treat me differently? You think I'm not cut out for this line of work?" He was quiet, almost taken aback at your question. He didn't expect you to ask it upfront.

"Let me tell you something, Mr. Kennedy, unlike the others, I'm not here by choice. Hell, you couldn't pay me enough to complete this stupid training and fight those monsters out there. I'd do anything to be free and leave you to your job. But I can't. So here I am. And you're not making it any easier by being a prick."

You breathed out, hard; his silence only making you regret your decision to speak your mind. With each passing second you only grew more and more uncomfortable, when suddenly, he grabbed your hand. You instantly raised your other hand to fight him off, before realising that he wasn't attacking you.

He was tracing the lines on your fingers with his own.

"Look at you. Skin so fucking soft, like you haven't worked a day in your life."

What the hell is happening?

You didn't trust yourself to say anything so you kept quiet.

"I used to be like you, you know. Bright eyed, bushy tailed, take on the world with hope and determination, yada yada. It's all such bullshit."

"Well then what makes you still fight for your life? You must have something to live for, or you'd just walk away, wouldn't you?"

He chuckled a little. More like a sigh leaving his lips. He looked so good like this.

What?

Before you could process your thoughts, he suddenly twisted your arm, putting you in a chokehold.

"Well these days it's been getting to see you fight like a little lamb, so adamant against accepting your fate", he whispered against the shell of your ear. It was your fault for giving in to his manipulation. You should have known better.

But even now, instead of trying to fight him off, you stood completely still, frozen in place. His breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine, as every molecule in your body screamed DANGER, as if you were teetering on the verge of a cliff. Except the cold waters at the bottom enticed you this time, inviting you to jump in, even if it was to your death.

"You've been such a little brat lately, refusing to give up. You think winning here or impressing me is gonna win you points in the real world?" His voice was like explosives on your nerve endings, making you gasp out loud.

You pawed at his arm desperately as his grip on your neck tightened, making you struggle to draw air. He laughed at you.

This motherfucker has the audacity to laugh right now. It was all a game to him, isn't it? Well, two can play, Leon.

He flipped you onto the mat, pinning your arms above your head, with his knee between your legs. God, he looked good on top of you. His golden hair shielding you from the harsh white light above, forming a halo around his head. His eyes were playful, teasing, yet somehow pleading, begging you to make a move.

You almost wanted to forget how much he had tortured you over the last month, how you had been limping back from training sessions like an old hag.

You wanted to scream at him. Go fuck yourself, or something of the sort. But the words died in your throat. You hated the effect he had on you. He was leaning over you, pressing his whole body weight down, but his weakness was exposed. One good kick to his shins and he would lose balance, leaving you free to slither past and regain your footing.

A mistake a beginner might make, not someone like Leon. As you gazed into his eyes, you realised he was aware of it. He was giving you an out. You could oh-so easily tackle him down, and be done for the day. But his lips looked so fucking good right now.

"Goddamnit", you managed to choke out, before reaching your head up and trapping his lips with your own. His mouth melted against yours, finding a steady rhythm. It was a messy kiss, your teeth clacking with his as he nipped at your bottom lip, threatening to draw blood.

His free hand roamed over your torso, slipping under your shirt and grasping at your hips, digging his fingers into the supple skin. It was driving you crazy, as could be proven by the heat pooling between your legs.

You struggled against his grip on your wrists, silently pleading him to let go so you could touch him, too. He broke free from your kiss and looked down at you, panting. "Such a needy girl, hmm? You're a little slut for me, aren't you?" He smirked.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd been in such a haze, driven only by your primal need to satisfy the ache between your legs. Leon's teasing was not gonna be tolerated tonight. So you did what you should have done from the start.

Aiming for his leg, you quickly pushed your knee up. As your leg met it's target, Leon let out a grunt. You hadn't hit him hard enough to hurt, but just enough to surprise him. Taking the opportunity, you flipped him over, sitting upright and straddling his waist. From this position you could feel his semi under your clothed cunt, straining against his trousers, begging to be released. Leon groaned at the unexpected contact, closing his eyes. He looked ethereal from this point of view.

Without missing a beat, you slowly began rocking your hips against his, creating much needed friction for both of you. You let out a soft moan as you paced yourself, throwing your head back in pleasure. Now that you had the reins, Leon had nothing to do apart from looking up at you completely hypnotised. He had never experienced a woman trying to take control voluntarily from him, most of them simply wanted to be fucked dumb, or be taken care of.

But the way you were using his body for your own pleasure flipped a switch, triggering something animalistic inside him, making him instantly rock hard. He let out a low growl. You looked so fucking pretty like this, your chest rising and falling rapidly, beads of sweat trickling down your temples. The soft moans that left your mouth were like music to his ears. You looked down at him, seeing him almost cross eyed as he gazed at you, his pupils completely blown out with lust.

You smirked at the sight, and leaned down to whisper against his ears, "Enjoying the view?" Your hips never faltered, steadily increasing in speed and fervour, trying to rub your sweet spot against him. Leon's brain had completely short circuited. He was only focused on you, meeting your movements with his own thrusts, trying to chase his own high.

"You act so fucking self righteous all the time, like you're some kind of saint. Look at you, Leon, tryna' fuck a girl half your age. Anybody could walk in right now and catch us, but that probably just gets you going even more, right?" You spoke against his ears, your dirty words setting Leon off. But you weren't gonna let him have it.

Suddenly, you became completely still and stood up, walking away from his body. Leon yelled out, "What the fuck? Where're you going?"

guys I've written part 2 but I'm still editing it so I'll upload it tomorrow if this post gets like 10 likes lmao. You guys should also get teased like Leon, hehe. Am I too evil?

"Well training's over so I'm going to dinner. What else?", you spoke so nonchalantly, throwing him for a loop. You had to admit, it had taken every ounce of self control to walk away from that temptation of a man. But you weren't gonna let him win again. Not this time.

part 2

Its the first work I'm uploading so please give any feedback or things you would have liked seeing in this story in the comments. you can be harsh, i really don't mind, as I use this platform to improve my irl writing. I wanna figure out all the cutesy banners everyone else does but im still getting familar with tumblr rn :)

#leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon scott kennedy #re4 #resident evil 4 #resident evil 6 #resident evil smut

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rhyrhy · 3 months ago

Text

Vital signs ـــــــــﮩ٨ـ

Greys anatomy AU! Doctor- Abby Anderson

Mlist | moodboards | prelude (you are here)|

Prelude: Welcome to Utah 🩺

⚕️ summary: At St. Mary’s Hospital, the rules are simple. Saving lives, avoiding attachment, and never going overboard. However, staying within those boundaries is becoming increasingly difficult under the constant gaze of the head of cardio.

Move to Utah, complete your internship, simple enough. This was your plan for the next seven years, as long as that sounded. It’s what you went to med school for. With a turned tassel and optimism fresh on the brain.

Even your first night was full of being in the arms of a beautiful stranger. You felt bad for not remembering her name, but she probably didn’t remember yours either. Hopefully anyway.

The annoying blare of your new alarm clock let the light from your eyelids pour in. You sat up, pushing hair out of your face, still reminded of last night when you were still sleeping peacefully. Her warm hand on your bare thigh.

You gently lifted her hand delicately and placed it back on the sheets. You scanned over her peaceful form. Face buried into the plush pillow, dirty blonde hair draped down her back as her chest rose and fell.

It was a complete contrast to last night, with the small blurbs you could remember anyway.

Going out with a childhood friend who helped you move before they returned to your hometown. Home was far behind you now. The fresh air, new faces, and even a wardrobe change.

This was ‘home’ now.

A constant of side glances and winks in the fumes of liquor and neon lights led your slightly inebriated bodies closer together as the night dragged. A whispered question had your fingers laced with hers, disappearing into your new bedroom and closing it with an eager click. The ecstasy of her body tangled with yours was one to remember, blurred, albeit.

The soft thud of your feet hitting your freshly mopped floors echoed out into the mostly empty room. Button ups and bralettes tossed around the wood. Glancing back at the red numbers lettered against the black screen of your alarm, reminding you that today was it. Your first day at St. Mary, known for their cardio teachings. You were going to thrive, you told yourself. This was everything you’d worked for, and absolutely nothing was going to throw you off of your game.

Not even the blonde's gentle grip on your arm as you tried to lift yourself from the edge of the bed. Mumbling something that could have Been a good morning greeting, but you didn’t have time to do the whole ‘morning after’ act.

“Mmm… you sneaking off?,” a groggy voice mumbled.

“Good morning…” Jesus, what was her name? Never mind, just play it off. “I gotta go, big day…like life-changing ‘big’”

Her grip loosened as her hand dropped back to the sheets, which definitely needed to be cleansed before you even thought about sliding back in. The blonde hummed in reply before clearing her throat with a soft rumble.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

You guys must not have gotten to work last night; you didn’t have time to explain fully. So, a vague explanation will have to suffice for now. It was the rest of your life, the clack of Ortho cushioned shoes and whatever would keep you awake in the dead of the morning. Though you did wonder what she did for work, even with her disheveled appearance at the moment, she was very ‘put together’ from what you could pull from your previous rendezvous.

You gathered the clothes thrown to nowhere and placed her in the bed next to her stirring figure. The blankets pooled at her waist, dragging down her half-exposed torso before she continued.

“Because…. I thought the first day of the rest of your life was last night.”

You snapped your head back to her lazily getting dressed. She finally cracks that smile that had in-traced you last night, amused at your reaction. The white bone complimented by the pink of her gums.

“You’re awfully chatty for someone who was unconscious five seconds ago.” You replied.

“And you’re awfully dressed for someone who really, really wanted my shirt off last night.” She teased, pulling up the fabric of her jeans.

Yeah, that…tracks. You huff, holding back a smile. You pin the last few buttons of your blouse together and turn back to her before leaving the room.

“Oh, come on. We were, what—three tequila shots deep? Four?” You scoffed, this was just causal fun.

The woman laughed and rolled her eyes. Picking up her phone off the large box labeled ‘clothes’ in black sharpie, that was a makeshift bedside table for the time being. A loud sigh fell before she looked back up at you, running a hand through her messy hair.

“Sure you don’t have time for a round two? Or at least coffee?”

You froze briefly, debating. It was tempting—too tempting. But the red numbers on your alarm clock screamed at you.

“I really can’t..., but you enjoy your morning.”

“Alright, alright, I’m backing off. I had fun though.” She put her hands up in mock surrender.

You chuckled, grabbing your bag and heading for the door. Just as you reached it, you glanced back, taking one last look at her—sleep-mussed hair, golden skin against your sheets, a satisfied glint in her eye. Turning on your heels, keys crashing against each other as you padded down the porch steps.

The engine of the car ceased, as you pulled your keys out with a small twist. There it is, large windows, people pouring in and out. You were looking at the next seven years of your life in brick form. You took a few deep breaths and cracked the car door wide. Let’s do this, you repeated to yourself mentally.

the cold air hit your arms as you pulled the blue scrub top on. The room boomed with lockers open, chatter, and slight anxious glances as everyone sized up one another.

These folks, other surgical interns, weren’t friends; they were competition. most anyway. You were stuffing your bag into the locker when movement to your right caught your eye.

There was one familiar face in the sea of blue fabrics.

Jesse.

He was mid-conversation with another intern when his gaze flicked over, landing on you. There was a pause, a brief second of recognition, before a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Hey.”

You mirrored his smile. “Hey again.”

A short beat. You both glanced around at the chaos unfolding—people nervously checking their watches, adjusting their scrubs, some looking like they might throw up right there in their shoes.

Jesse let out a small breath, shaking his head covered in jet black strands.

“Still think this was a good idea?”

You exhaled sharply, closing your locker with a metallic clang. “Hmm, ask me in…12 hours.”

He chuckled, nodding. “Fair enough.”

Before either of you could say anything else, the locker room door swung open, and a voice called out—“Interns! Williams, Woodward!” Followed by your own last name, then surprising Jesse’s. You felt a flicker of relief to have the same resident. Even if you were with “General Marlene,” you weren’t sure if that name was supposed to intimidate you, but as you shuffled behind the small group, you started to feel it just a bit.

“That’s the … ‘general’?” Jesse jokingly asked you to confirm you guys were heading in the right direction.

“She sure looks like one,” an auburn-haired woman with emerald eyes to your left remarks.

You came to find that she definitely was. As her voice was stern and loud.

“I have five rules. Memorize them.”Marlene crossed her arms as she scanned the group of fresh-faced interns in front of her. The room had gone dead silent the second she stepped in.

“Rule number one: Don’t suck up. I already don’t like you, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. Trauma protocols, supply lists, pagers—you’ll get all of it. You figure it out, or you get out.”

She took a slow step forward, eyes narrowing.

“Rule number two: You eat when I say, you sleep when I say, and you do not whine about it. If I see one of you yawning while you’re holding a scalpel, I’ll personally kick you out of my OR.”

She pointed at the group huddled together.

“Rule number three: This hospital does not tolerate mistakes. You mess up, people die. You hesitate; people die. You’re slow; people die. And when they do, you don’t get to cry about it. You learn from it, and you move on.”

A few interns shifted uncomfortably, but no one dared speak. You weren’t sure if you should be writing her monologue down or not, seeing how the others stood up a little straighter at her tone. She definitely introduced herself to the fellow interns with a no-nonsense attitude. You had no choice but to respect it in a way. She’d clearly been here awhile, her stomping grounds. You almost felt like a guest on the tiled flooring between your feet.

You and Jesse exchanged looks for a brief moment like you were telepathically telling each other to buckle up. Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself for the long hours ahead of your first shift. You just prayed you wouldn’t be crawling out the automatic doors and still in one piece.

You’ve got a more complicated, putting it nicely, patient assigned , a teenage girl complaining of constant side stomach pains.

You did your best to gather information on the clipboard, giving you a run over her charts asking about different symptoms, but she seemed to be a little more snooty than anticipated.

Once her parents came pouring into the room, asking you questions you weren’t sure of the answers to, you scrambled to find Marlene leaning over the front desk talking to the nurse. Her black coils tucked into a head and bun. Glancing down at her nametag, ‘Abel,’ ,huh? You weren’t sure if you even needed to know names yet since you were still basically on trial. Two interns still had to leave so the rest could go through, and you weren’t looking forward to being one of them.

Once Marlene caught sight of you sitting, she came over with curiosity in her gaze as to why you weren’t still busying yourself.

The explanation was quickly cut off as Marlene told you where to go to find the doctor who could help assist you on your case.

“Yeah, Dr. Jackson is off the case; your patient belongs to the new attending. Dr. Anderson. She’s over there,” she shushes your rambling. as she makes her way back down the hallway, giving you a brief point, leaving you to figure it out for yourself.

You watch her figure disappear and slowly turn back around to the sea of bodies in the room. Scanning over name tags to find the resident she was referring to.

Only to feel your shoulders tense when you see something that makes you blink a few times. That same sleepy figure that was in your bed seven hours ago. It’s now wearing the same name tag you were directed to look for.

You blink.

You stare again.

But no matter how many times you do it, she’s is still standing there. Not tangled in your sheets, not half-asleep in your bed, but here, in a white coat with a name tag that makes your stomach drop.

Dr. Anderson.

Her eyes flick to yours, and for a brief moment, there’s a flash of recognition. Then—amusement. Like she can’t quite believe it either. She barely gets a word out before you grab her wrist, dragging her into the nearest supply closet.

“Okay,” you sighed, shutting the door behind you. “We cannot do this.”

Abby leans against the counter, arms crossed, that damn smirk still plastered on her face. “Do…what?”

“You. Me. This.” You gesture between you two. “We have to pretend it didn’t happen.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “What, that you slept with me last night or…you ran out of your own house on me this morning?—“

You shush her of embarrassment, reading over her tag name like it would magically change. Nope, still Dr. Abigail Anderson. This just couldn’t get any better.

“You—you didn’t tell me you worked here,” you accuse, arms crossing over your chest.

Abby shrugs, still looking far too amused by all of this. “You didn’t ask.”

You open your mouth but then quickly shut it, heat rising to your cheeks. Unfortunately, she has a point. You guys didn’t talk about it at all.

“Well,” you huff, straightening your shoulders, “we weren’t exactly doing much talking—regardless. Katie, room 107, her parents need you. So can you just” You sighed deeply, collecting yourself and pointing to the door you’d pulled her through.

Abby rolls her eyes, pushing past you and slipping out the door like this is all some inside joke.

And just like that, she’s gone. You took a long needed breath. This was the last thing you needed. You left home for a fresh start, not whatever the hell this was going to be. Pushing out the swinging door a stormy cloud swirling with emotion, hung above you.

Later that night…

You and Jesse find yourselves slumped against a random door in the locker room, scrubs stained, bodies aching, brains mushed to nothing. You weren’t sure how you kept bumping into each other but you didn’t mind the company. Your head tilts back against the cool wall as you exhale.

“So this is my life now? Tired, sore, and running around in constant …panic?” You asked out loud, to the universe honestly.

Jesse, equally exhausted, pats your shoulder with mock sympathy. “Yep, welcome to Utah.”

The two of you sit there in exhausted silence as the hospital hums around you.

What a’ warm welcome’, sigh.

#x reader #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby x fem!reader #fem reader #abby x reader #abby the last of us #lgbtq #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x female reader #doctor abby #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson x reader #fanfic #rhysvitalsigns

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unacknowledgeable · 2 months ago

Text

Brick by Bloody Brick

TW! Drugging and murder <3

It was an accident, kinda… you think. It's hard to say, honestly.

It was your 19th birthday.. Yayyyy… a whole year older with only a few dear friends to notice. Dear friends who were far more extroverted than you, which is why they decided that going out clubbing was the perfect way to celebrate your birthday!

You didn't see much of a point, none of you could legally drink for another few years, so why risk it in public? Wasn't it easier to just go back to one of their places to get wasted? Then again it was Gotham, so fake IDs were a dime a dozen and if the bartenders were on the stricter side? Well, you were not naive enough to think the good looks passed on from your father wouldn't score you some free drinks.

So you went along with your friends, not terribly enthusiastic, but not unwilling enough to refuse, into the more normal and socially acceptable night life of Gotham, clubbing. Stepping into the club you're instantly reminded of the second reason you saw no point in this. The noise… blaring so loud you can feel the music from your feet and into your throat, making it slightly more difficult to breathe.

Your friend, Kate, drags you over to the bar before you can fully scan the crowd, a habit you developed young, and she gleefully waves her ID (fake, it's one of the few you made, you’re oddly touched she still has it) and orders two rounds of shots, hands you half, and takes you over to the table your other two friends, Mark and Ava, commandeered. From there it was a constant switch between shots, dancing, and lounging in the booth when breaks were needed. Again and again. During the latest of the breaks, you excused yourself to head to the bathroom, which is when reason number 3 on why you'd rather stay in and drink at Kate’s hits you. It was safer.

After one of the dance phases of the night, Ava had been given a drink some guy bought for her, but she didn't want it, since she didn't want to drink too much tonight. So, she gave it to you, an extra gift for your birthday, she said, so you took it, you drank it, and now you'd pay for it. Of Fucking course it was drugged.

Tripping over your own feet, bumping into random party goers, you try and look for the table your friends were at. Your vision is twisting and tunneled and you can't see or hear, Your breath quickens and you can't stop shaking and-

And you feel a handle in your grip, the smoggy night air in your lungs, the music dulled through the brick wall at your back and the gravel digging into your knees. You can't tell if this is worse or not, on one hand you're out of the club and you can finally, maybe, not really, hear yourself think, but now it means you're in some back alley, drugged out of your mind and in the most dangerous city in the world.

You need to get up, you had no clue how much time had passed, but judging by the fact you could now stand on wobbly feet, you guessed maybe an hour or so, enough time to filter out most of the toxins plaguing your system. You should go back inside, you think, the risk of passing out and being trampled by party goers was far more appealing then behind a dumpster, at least then your friends could get to you. You turn back to the door, already imagining how weeks from now you'll be laughing this terrible experience off in the comfort of Kate's living room, when the door opens, knocking you on your ass, back making contact with a loose pile of bricks lining the adjacent wall.

Evidently, not as much of the drug had dissipated as you’d thought and it takes a few moments to look at who opened the door, and when you do, all you can see is a dark silhouette back lit by technicolor lights. Just your fucking luck, clearly whoever had tried to drug Ava had realized what had happened and now had found a new target, you.

Reflexively, you smacked away the hand that reached for your shoulder, whoever this fucker was, you wouldnt let him lay a hand on you without a fight, drugged or not. You supposed, of course, you could scream but the likelihood of that actually garnering any help was slim to none. The only types of people who'd ever respond to such cries in Gotham were either more assailants or worse, your family.

Kicking, albeit weakly, at the man's feet furthered the scuffle, you couldn't afford to let him stay so high above you, he needed to be brought down to your level if you wanted any reliable ways to escape. Whatever garbled words he was spewing was lost on your ears, too focused on knocking him down to bother registering whatever filth he had to say. When he finally backs away, giving you the space to move, you bend over yourself, snagging his ankle and tugging his feet from beneath him. Groans and curses mix with the faded thumping of the bass inside the club, and though your assailant was down, you know this isn't over yet.

Shuffling to get your legs beneath you, you move to finally get a look at the man, pushing away the hands covering his face only to find him. Dick Grayson. Your older brother.

This, of course, stills you, a million questions running through your mind. Why was he here? Why wasn’t he in BloodHeaven? Why this club and why had he approached you? He hadn’t so much as looked at you since… since Jason died. Is that why? Because of what you saw? But it’d been so long, why now? You hadn’t said anything, you never uttered a word to Bruce about what you had seen, he never would have believed you even if you had.

Flashes of that night raced through your mind, Dick, dripping blood onto the carpet of the foyer, no cuts for it to be his own but too much to know that whosoevers it was, they most certainly weren't alive anymore. Hiding behind the second floor banister, you watched the gore that surrounded him, awed at the sight. Only when he looked up did you feel fear. Convinced he had seen you, you fled. You knew Bruce's rule. No killing. And it was clear that Dick had broken it, which meant he could never let Bruce know. You knew how such a secret must be kept between two people, you hoped Dick didn’t intend to put you to rest beside Jason.

Strangely, nothing had come of that incident, you never allowed yourself to be stuck alone with him, not wanting to ever discuss what you saw and for his part, he never so much as uttered a word to you since that day, not that you two spoke much before it. But it seems, evidently, Dick must’ve decided you were too much of a liability after all, there was no other logical reason for him being here. He came to silence you.

This revelation unfortunately gave Dick enough time to gain his bearings, ripping his arms out of your grip and pushing you flat into the gravel before saddling atop you. His hand gripped your wrists and you struggled to break free, you couldn’t die here, not now, it wasn’t fair. You hadn't even done anything, never did anything that could possibly warrant this. What gave him the right to wake up and decide your life was a risk to his own. Why now?

Kicking your legs before he could pin them too, you're able to plant a foot on Dicks hip, shoving him off and switching your positions. Dark eyes like pits of black tar stared up at you, eyes… like he was innocent, like he was free of guilt, of there was no blood on his hands, like you were the monster, like he hadn't just tried to kill you. It filled you with rage, why should he be the acceptation, why should you have to lay down and die, and for what? He had no reason to hate you, no reason to kill you and bathe in your blood as he had all those years ago. You'd show him, give him something to really fear.

Reaching behind yourself, blindly grasping at whatever you could, your hand finds a brick. With it now held tightly in your grip, you raise it high above you and deliver the first of many fatal blows. Each time you brought the brick down brought a sick pang of joy, and no matter how he clawed at your arms, each downward stroke landed perfectly across his face until those his hands could no longer keep themselves up to fight back.

Any noise he made was drowned out by the music of the club until the only sound that came from him was the wet crack of brick meeting bloody flesh and bone, not even a breathe could wheeze past his lips, the crimson liquid pooling in his mouth leaving only feint gargles in its wake, until that too fell silent.

You've no idea how many times you laid that brick across his face, only stopping once the weight of it was too much for your intoxicated limbs to bear and letting it drop into the blood soaked gravel. It was quiet, so quiet, even with the club's music only a wall away, all you could hear was your own blood rushing through your ears. All you could see was red coating the body beneath you, as well as your glove clad hands, seeping into the ground and threatening to do the very same with your pants, inching ever closer as more of the vital fluid escaped.

It was there, staring at the atrocity you had committed, that the horrid realization slammed into you like a freight train, Dicks eyes weren’t black, they were blue.

The next few minutes were, admittedly, a blur. You remember, distantly, falling sideways off the body before searching through whatever pockets you could find until you found a wallet. Finding the ID behind the clear plastic film was easy, but pulling it out with shaking fingers was not. The blood coating your glove smeared across the card and no amount of swiping at it with your thumb would fully clean it away, leaving it as tainted as you felt.

The date of birth was eerily familiar, though you couldn't tell why, but the face on the ID was not one you recognized, nor was the name. There were no dimples situated on either cheek, the hair cut in a far shorter fashion, the chin was cleft and the eyes… The eyes were a bitch black, not the startling blue often associated with your family, they most certainly weren’t Dicks eyes. Which meant that whoever you had just bludgeoned was a complete stranger, the one who had likely drugged you in the first place. So it was fine, you could easily get off with a claim of self defence, even if Bruce didn’t especially care about you he still wouldn’t allow the scandal of you going to jail. You’d never have to tell them the real reason as to why you killed him.

A quick glance at the body proved to you that the argument was futile, the drugs and alcohol in your system would be a whole different issue and it was clear as day that this was more of crime of passion then defense, neither of which would aid your case. But maybe the severity of the crime could. Plans raced through your mind, what actions would lead to the best possible outcome, what you could say to drive suspicion away, and it all came back to one option. Leave. No one knew you were here and no one had too. The only damning piece of evidence was the blood stained gloves adorning your hands, which were easily disposable far far away from here.

It wasn't like this man deserved justice, he’d tried to drug your friend, he had drugged you, so what? Just another piece of filth off the streets. Even in your own mind your justifications felt hollow compared to the sinking feeling that you had enjoyed this. Enjoyed caving the head in of this complete stranger, delighted in bringing down the brick again and again, loved snuffing out the light in those dark eyes.

Now far removed from the body and uncomfortably aware of your own, the faint buzzing from your own pockets has finally made itself aware to you. Gingerly, you pluck your phone out, only to be met with Kate’s contact blanketing the screen. You accept the call with bated breath.

“DUDE! Where are you?!” her voice rings out from the device, harsh with worry and slurred with just a bit too much to drink.

“I… I’m outside, sorry, I just… needed some air,” you try to keep your voice even, hoping she’ll just assume the trembling of your words was from the chilly night air.

“Okay well, we are definitely having another talk about your disappearing acts later, but you need to hurry up front, some guy was caught with those new diluted fear toxin drugs that hit the market, the cops hauled him off but now the vibes here are just rancid, we can head back to my place, okay?” She speaks fast, you can tell she's moving through the crowd of club goers, and you can faintly hear Ava and Mark shouting over the noise, questions of where you had run off too.

“Yeah, that’s cool, I'll meet you at the car.” and you hang up before Kate could confirm, they wouldn't leave without you, so it was fine. The weight of what Kate had relayed to you crushing your throat, air a long forgotten memory. Stiffly, you turn your head back to the body, if this man hadn’t been Dick and evidently not the one to have drugged Avas drink, then who was he?

Pointedly not looking at what once was a face, you move to pocket your phone and gloves before tossing the remaining items aside. You don't need anything else to be tied back to you, best to leave it here. Staggering to the door that would lead you back to the club, you take a final glance at the body, hoping to sear the image into your memory. Then you pull the door open and step inside.

Swirling through a sea of technicolor lights, fuzzed by the alcohol and apparent fear toxin you were drugged with, you made your way to the front entrance, intent to leave the area as fast as humanly possible. No matter what, you couldn't be here when the body was found. Weaving through the mass of party goers was surprisingly easy and you were thankful for that. What wasn't easy was trying to ignore all the idle conversations that plagued your ears over the mind throbbing music. One conversation unfortunately piqued your interest as you passed them by.

“Hey, have you seen Ryan?” a girl nearly screamed at her friend over the music. Your heart sank, you knew that name, had read it just minutes ago.

“No, he'd said he’d back in a bit, said something about checking on someone who looked out of it, I don't know,“ Was the corresponding shout from the girl's friend.

Picking up speed, you darted away from the couple, barely catching the tail end of the conversation,

“Man, he’s such a bleeding heart, he better hurry or he’s gonna miss his bir-”

You exit the club before you can hear the rest and before you can ponder just what was being said, arms are thrown over your shoulders, nearly knocking you clear off your feet.

“Finally! We were getting so worried! Come on, let's blow this joint!” Kate dragged you back to the car, where Ava and Mark were waiting, puffing smoke out into the chilled air. Their faces light up upon seeing the two of you approach and they usher you into the back seat along with Kate, before they climb into the front.

The drive is admittedly quick, but it feels like eons pass as the four of you make your way back to Kate’s place. The chatter is loud, the singing along with the radio even louder and all the while two things nagged at the back of your mind. Why had the man really approached you in the alley and why was the date on his ID so familiar?

“Are you okay?”

The question startles you from your brooding, turning to look at Kate, her eyes earnest and just as dark as the man you had brutally murdered nearly an hour ago.

“What?”

“I asked if you're okay, your favorite song was on and you barely made a peep.” Kate bumped your shoulder, as she often did when she was nervous. Glancing to the front, you knew Ava and Mark were also listening despite their valiant effort to seem fully engrossed with finding a parking spot in the garage of Kate's building. Focusing back Kate, you force a smile, returning the shoulder bump, hopefully selling the reassurance as sincere, as to not portray the new flurries of distress Kate's words had ignited in your chest.

“I’m fine, just tired is all, long night,” the words flow smoothly off your tongue, the car pulling to a stop effectively moving the attention elsewhere. Kate huffs, but accepts your answer as you all exit the vehicle.

“Yeah, it is pretty late, I guess we can do cake and presents tomorrow,” Mark chimes in and at your confused glance, he pats your shoulder, his chuckle perpetrating the air, “Don't tell me you’re so wasted you forgot it's your birthday, it’s the whole reason we went out!”

The world seems to tilt as realizations as Mark's words fell upon you, your knees all but bucking beneath the crushing weight. Mark seems to take your sudden trembling as drunkenness, hoisting you up into his arms, whatever idle chatter exchanged between him and the girls falls on deaf ears as your mind works to piece together tonight's events.

What had the man been saying and why was the date so familiar? You now knew the dreadful answers to both. Kate's words echoed through your mind, accompanied by a different voice you didn’t fully recognize, but knew all the same, smashing through the fog that had kept you blissfully unaware of what the man had been saying to you when he first found you in that alley,

“Are you okay?”

Those words swirl in your mind, coupled with the realization that the reason the date of birth on the ID was so familiar was because it was today. Your birthday. It had been his as well. He had tried to help you and intern you had killed him… yet even with this brought to light, you still loved every second of it.

You thought I was gone, didn't youuuu. Well think again! Okay!!! WOOOOOO origin storyyyy lets gooooo. Lemme know what you think bc by golly this was a monster to write and the worms love comments lol. idk how ppl do it.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!

~Masterlist~

#Serialkiller!reader #yandere batfamily #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfamily x reader #yandere batfam #yandere dc #gender neutral reader #gn reader #platonic yandere batfam #yandere tim drake #yandere damian wayne #yandere cassandra cain #yandere bruce wayne #yandere barbara gordon #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere commissioner gordon #yandere james gordon

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