#Non USAmerican

[honeylemony]

[gunpowdertimdrakestoker]

The us feels like a social experiment for the rest of the world sometimes

Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.

[destielmemenews]

"Kennedy had been hospitalized after suffering a stroke in her sleep on Oct. 3, her family said.

“It is with our hearts full of love that we announce the passing of our amazing grandmother,” Joe Kennedy III posted on X. “She died this morning from complications related to a stroke suffered last week.”

“Along with a lifetime’s work in social justice and human rights, our mother leaves behind nine children, 34 grandchildren and 24 great-great grandchildren along with numerous nieces and nephews, all of whom love her dearly,” the family statement said."

"She founded the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights soon after husband’s death and advocated for causes including gun control and human rights."

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[ace-culture-is]

ace culture is seeing nakedness not as something sexual.

.

[bungeepuppet]

hisoka's first night in the zoldyck house and he almost dislocates his finger trying to toss back the weighted comforter on the illumi's bed (its 200lbs)

[eddiestightywhities]

what do you mean the buddie arc has just begun and fixed my terrible horrible no good very bad week but it's 2.39am where i am and i must now go to bed?

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

I cannot believe I sit through hours of lecture on the French Revolution of 1789, hours of lecture on French history from said revolution to the World Wars, then to today, hours of lecture on historiography and propaganda, spend hours writing essays on these subjects and reading about the Revolution of 1789, on its historiography and how the US are liars because they are an imperialist nation that just wants you to hate France for being against the war of Iraq, only for some usamerican tumblr user to tell me that I don't know shit about the subject and I'm just against anyone talking about French history because I'm French.

Shut the fuck up, you don't even know that "La Liberté guidant le peuple" is not this revolution, but the one from 1830. You don't even know what la Commune de Paris is. And those are things 15 years old know in France. I say "Never listen to a native english speaker about the French Revolution of 1789 or really, French history in general", I know wtf I'm talking about. I know wtf they are teaching you, and I know it is a distorted reality. For fuck's sake, they compared Robespierre to Ben Laden, this is the craziest shit I have read in a history book, and my professors, HISTORIANS WITH DOCTORATE, laugh their ass off at that. And, it's the same broken ass logic used by fascists in France rn, so thanks for bringing that in, but that's what the us wanted after all.

And, yeah, I know more than OP about history, because I know a bbc article isn’t an acceptable source. The media are like the biggest propaganda machine.

[hiraeth-daydreams]

Fellow mythkin, cryptids, other nonhumans of the like, urban legend enthusiasts, and people in the anthropology (such as myself) or religious sciences fields:

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: No Man's Land

I'm really only bringing this up because my French ass need to tell you that, apart from politicians and bourgeois, no one is calling you "monsieur" when annoyed, especially not the guys shown there. You annoyed a "everyday" French and you immediately get called "connard" or "enfoiré", and in my heart, that what they said here, lol "T'as un problème, connard ?!" (literally: You have a problem?!) is the perfect traduction for "You want trouble?!"

And Bruce answering with the most serious and determined "Oui." to "T'as un problème, connard ?!" is funny as hell.

Usamericans are just too puritan to use bad words in their media, tho 😮‍💨

[gaynfl]

LAST FOOTBALL SUNDAY OF HEARING THAT KAMALA IS FOR THEY/THEM TRANSPHOBIC AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

English 🤝 Hebrew

Shortening words until they are unintelligible to outsiders

[rooolt]

once the bad kids defeat the night yorb, they’ll be able to set their sights on who I’m sure will be the real bbeg, College Board

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

@st-just @apollo-cackling

This was the recpost I was eyerolling about - linking here instead of the replies of the post so as not to defeat the point of it being a vagueblog -

[booksinmythorax]

Hey, please check your local library before you join a new streaming service just to watch one movie or TV show! Not everything is made into physical media (DVD/Blu Ray) anymore, but LOTS of things are, including some stuff that's made by streaming services. Spending zero money and supporting your local library is better than spending some money, 100% of the time.

[jeyneofpoole]

no superbowl will ever compare to the last time the bengals lost and my gentle mild-mannered absolutely hammered father threw his phone at the tv so hard that both the phone and tv were irreparably shattered. then he decided fuck it why not and threw his plate at it too. i cannot stress enough how out of character this is he’s just so obsessed with the bengals. a while ago he begged me to do a spell (?) for joe burrow’s health and then got genuinely pissed at me when he got hurt as if i jinxed it somehow even though i tried to gently explain that lighting a tea candle is not enough to shield the concussionbloodsport player from bloodsport-typical injury. i think he’s still mad.

[un-pearable]

“miku as your home culture really shows that the USA has no culture” discussion has lost the plot. say it with me folks . it’s not that USamericans don’t have a culture it’s that we’ve so aggressively globalized it that people feel it’s the “default” rather than an amalgamation of the popular culture we produce and export and explicit geopolitical decisions. it’s neocolonialism. this is like. necessary to understand if you’re going to meaningful critique the USA’s impact on the rest of the world culturally and otherwise