#Nobody told me this ship actually existed

[lacrimosathedark]

I need the comic book fanfic writers to be made very aware of something:

Roy Harper is the only one to EVER call Jason Todd "Jaybird".

This isn't a family name that he picked up on, or that Roy made and the family has adopted. Roy is literally the only person to call him that. Dick doesn't, Babs doesn't, Bruce doesn't, nobody but Roy does.

The others call him Jay sometimes, in old comics Jace was said a few times (which I actually like and wish people would use literally at all). Bruce has said "Jay, lad" like once and fandom adopted him calling Jason "Jaylad" but that's not horribly egregious so I tolerate it. Dick occasionally calls Jason "little wing". That's about it.

Jaybird is very specifically a Roy Harper thing.

(Honestly yall better appreciate me actually looking back in RHATO 2011 because BOY do I hate this comic. It's not only poorly written, but in my opinion, ugly as fucking sin and I need to burn my retinas now)

That is the first instance of Jason ever being called "Jaybird", and it becomes a lowkey running gag that Roy calls him that and Jason "hates" it.

And then we get this post Heroes In Crisis

This whole thing may have been poorly written because, again, Scott Lobdell sucks, but the intent is to evoke intimacy to make Roy's death hurt. Jason is supposed to have just lost his best friend and was told by Bruce Wayne whose last appearance in his life was beating the shit out of him and, oh yeah, who saved Jason? Roy Fucking Harper.

In addition to the fact that Roy only left Jason to get help for himself. He was supposed to be in rehab/therapy, somewhere safe, and he fucking died because of handwavy Speedforce shenanigans or whatever it's been retconned to now because nobody liked Heroes in Crisis. Roy was supposed to be getting better and he died ostensibly in an accident. Like if that's not the worst fucking bullshit--

This scene of Jason calling himself by what he deems a stupid nickname would mean jack shit if everyone and their goddamn cat called him "Jaybird". But it being a Roy-specific thing makes this scene distinctly about Jason being vulnerable and actively grieving. It's such a cliche trope, and a real coping mechanism, to call a deceased loved one's phone just to hear their voice in their inbox message again. He probably has no thoughts that Roy will ever hear it so this is just for him, but he's letting himself accept this dumb nickname Roy gave him now because it was Roy that gave it to him and Roy is fucking dead.

Like, in fairness it probably frustrates me more because I ship the two and parallel it with Oliver calling Dinah "pretty bird", but like...even as just a cheeky friend nickname, nothing romantic behind it, having everyone else call Jason that feels wrong. Especially his family who he still has so many issues with and, like it or not, he's closer to Roy than literally any of the Bats at this point.

This isn't the only time I've seen the fandom do this (this being giving nicknames between characters that just don't exist); Jason calling Tim "replacement" is absolutely rampant in the fandom and I hate that too because he never calls Tim that, and refers to him as such like once. I have a whole list of actual nicknames and insults these motherfuckers call each other somewhere, but maybe another time.

In short

STOP HAVING EVERYONE CALL HIM JAYBIRD.

Thank you and have a nice day. <3

[velvees-archive]

Making my case for ManoSouta, Ace Attorney’s token doomed yaoi

Bronco knew, and still he told nobody.

Ace Attorney Investigations 2 full game spoilers ahead!

Chalk it up to lucky guesswork or my expertly honed writer’s intuition (sarcasm), but so rarely do I latch onto side ships that when I found myself gravitating towards Bronco (Manosuke Naito) x Simeon (Souta Sarushiro, hence ManoSouta) simply because of this line, I knew something was up…

…and boy was I right.

Simeon Saint’s fall from grace was a direct consequence of subjection to a corrupt justice system and equally as corrupted individuals. There was his father, who saw Simeon’s existence as a means to an end (the end being a pharmaceutical “recipe” book that could cure Gusto’s affliction and a shiny world class confectioner title), his best friend, who kidnapped him and almost killed him on his dad’s orders, and—if that wasn’t enough to destroy someone’s psyche—there was the presidential assassination trio, who tormented, interrogated, and dangled their judicial and executive power over him like a special-brand curse.

This is a character who hit rock bottom so long ago he believes nothing is left of him except agony, paranoia, and anger. He crafts an intricate revenge plot that dishes Simeon-esque justice to everyone who wronged him. The acts are performed mercilessly, too, no hesitation, regret, or unnecessary feelings involved in the flawless execution of his plan.

Well, almost.

There was one person in the same boat—no family, no longstanding companionship (barring each other)—who set Simeon’s descent in motion. Ironically, it is also through this person that we’re shown what remains of his humanity.

For me to talk about Simeon’s feelings as shown before we found out he was the mastermind, though, we have to see how he reacted after the big reveal. Upon being fingered as the villain, Simeon makes it clear he does not feel remorse towards any of the people “he” killed. After all, they drew first blood; Simeon firmly believes retaliation was warranted.

That is, until Miles clarifies the following points surrounding Simeon’s kidnapping, his memory loss, and the fate of his and Bronco’s fathers:

The reason Simeon was kidnapped wasn’t so Bronco’s dad could kill Simeon’s; Bronco was only meant to stall Simeon so he couldn’t help his dad win the confectionary competition finale

When a murder did occur, the victim of the murder was not Simeon’s dad, but Bronco’s.

This is how Simeon responds:

“He deserved to die!…Didn’t he?”

This line, in conjunction with the contemplative flashback shown in the video, conveys Simeon’s uncertainty/regret about inciting Knight’s murder, though one could argue this is only in reaction to the revelation rather than a lingering attachment to Knight, who he “stopped thinking” was his friend 18 years ago.

But then he follows it up with this.

“Then what was all this…for…!?”

At this point, you have to ask yourself why Simeon is questioning his entire plan (keyword in the quote is all, not just Bronco’s death) because he realized whose father actually died. Technically speaking, Bronco did still kidnap him. On top of that, everyone else Simeon exacted revenge on still wronged him, so it makes no sense to say this unless Bronco’s supposed role in “Simeon’s” father’s death was pivotal in Simeon’s decision to proceed with his whole plot. In other words, the reason Simeon questions his plot after Miles’ clarification is because this fundamental misunderstanding was what pushed him to take revenge on everyone in the first place. Bronco’s betrayal weighed so heavily on him that Simeon had no choice but to kill him in line with his principles, but he didn’t actually want to.

I’m not saying he wanted to spare Bronco because of the power of friendship or some misplaced sentimentality. It was inevitable that Bronco would die by Simeon’s hand because Simeon vowed to get his revenge on everyone who hurt him. What I am saying is that Simeon’s resolve is clearly shaken once Bronco’s role in his suffering is cleared up. As soon as Simeon realized Bronco’s dad didn’t murder his dad, he regretted killing his only friend. This is the only time Simeon shows remorse.

You might think Simeon’s hatred for Bronco stems from his kidnapping and its consequences, aka setting off the chain of events that would ruin Simeon’s life outside of “his” dad dying. However, Simeon doesn’t hold a grudge over Bronco for anything other than the kidnapping. The statement, “If you hadn’t detained me 18 years ago…it wouldn’t have had to…end like this” is vastly different from “If you hadn’t detained me 18 years ago, none of this would have happened.” His “hatred” for Bronco was a personal grudge he had against his best friend, who also happened to be the son of his dad’s killer. Bronco was on Simeon’s list because his betrayal stung Simeon most. “What was all of this for” really meant, “I wouldn’t have gone through with any of this if I knew you weren’t involved.”

Had Simeon truly hated him, it’d be difficult to justify why he snuck away from his carnival preparations to talk to Bronco. Why did he pay such an incriminating visit when he’d already delivered Bronco’s chess set during visiting hours? And why did he tell Bronco he snuck something into it, leaving him vulnerable to counterattack should Bronco tattle?

Why did he bother saying goodbye?

Simeon’s actions betray logic because try as he might to hate Bronco with all his heart, he cared. Bronco Knight’s betrayal was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but imagine if the misunderstanding had been sorted from the start. Simeon's reaction to wrongfully killing Bronco was a stellar portrayal of his desire for genuine companionship, and a peek into what remained of his humanity before he was unmasked. He really was all alone.

If you’re still not sold on them being the doomed yaoi representatives of Ace Attorney, if a misplaced desire for revenge cutting their time short doesn’t make this tragic enough, then consider this: Bronco legitimately cared for and trusted Simeon, but unlike Simeon, he was left completely in the dark.

He’s legitimately excited to see Simeon’s performance. He happily awaited Simeon’s chess correspondences because he just likes being around him!!

Perhaps the biggest sticking point in all of this is that Simeon admitted he put something in his chess set, Bronco definitely opened his chess set, and yet when it came time for Fifi Laguarde to interrogate him (aka when she discovers the chisel), Bronco does not tell her he doesn’t own it, he does not tell her he’s been set up, and he does not tell her his best friend—who the precinct knows visited him—is the one who put it there. Why didn’t Bronco tell her?

That’s the greatest pull of their dynamic: we don’t know. Maybe everything happened too fast. Maybe he did try to protest. Maybe he ratted Simeon out but Laguarde was already in hysterics. Maybe Bronco didn’t understand why the chisel frenzied the warden so, and paid the ultimate price for it.

Or maybe, just maybe, Bronco already knew the moment he saw the chisel. Maybe he died a knowing victim of Simeon’s retribution. Maybe he thought it better that the knowledge of their past—Paul Halique’s ring and Simeon’s secret hatred— dissolve with his last breath.

Worse yet, maybe he couldn’t believe Simeon would do something like this. Maybe he continued to have blind faith in him despite the damning evidence. Maybe he believed in him.

[goddessofroyalty]

So this was based on a silly joke I have in my head about hormonal birth control not working for omega!Sanji for (spoilers) reasons and him and Zoro then ending up with 3 kids on the pirate journey because they keep breaking condoms.

Anyway this is just them finally making it back to the Baratie and having to face up to Zeff about it (from Zeff’s POV)

Pairing: Zoro/Sanji

Tags: omegaverse, mpreg

---------

Zeff will admit he is slightly surprised at the swell in Sanji’s stomach when he showed up again as part of what seems to be the new Pirate King and crew’s Victory Tour.

It’s not that Eggplant had given him no indication of it – he had been getting more and more jittery every damn time he’d gotten in touch as the Strawhats made their various stops before reaching the Baratie. Saying how some things had happened during his travels and that he’d needed to talk to Zeff about them in person. But Zeff had assumed it was to do with his damnable family. Not that his woman-obsessed omega son had gone and got himself knocked up. By an alpha, going by the new layer of scent clinging on top of the one he remembers to be Sanji’s.

And, because wonder’s don’t fucking cease, they’ve only just gotten through their tearful hug when a little green-haired girl comes running over. Clinging to Eggplants leg and staring up at Zeff with curious, familiar, blue eyes.

“I thought you were staying on the ship Princess?” Eggplant says, brushing a hand through her hair. And Zeff is equally sure that actually Sanji told her to stay on the ship as he is that his boy was as much a pushover to his daughter as he had been any woman who had stepped foot into the Baratie before he left.

“You know she wasn’t gonna’ as soon as she found out this was your old home.” And there was the newly minted World’s Greatest Swordsman and apparently sire to Zeff’s grandkids walking in like it had been his home as well and not the place he had gotten nearly cut in half by the former owner of the title.

And, fucks sake, there was another little one resting on his hips as he does it with that same matching green hair.

“I do remember teaching you about the importance of making them wrap it,” Zeff grumbles, because going by the age of the older one the two it hadn’t been all that long after Sanji left that he had gotten himself knocked up. “I know you said you weren’t planning on getting with any alphas but I know you were still listening.”

Eggplant goes red at it before glaring at Roronoa who gives a grin back that is entirely too filthy and leaves Zeff sure that he doesn’t actually want to know.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Zeff asks more to move the topic away from his kid’s sex life before he finds out more about it than he wants to.

They had been exchanging letters and calls on and off the whole time and never once had Eggplant mentioned that he was going to be or had become a granddad in any of them.

“I did try to but I couldn’t say anything too direct in case it got intercepted,” Sanji explains, resting a protective hand over his middle while the other curls around the girl at his side.

It makes some degree of sense. Best way to keep the two, soon to be three, pups from being a target is to have nobody know they exist in the first place.

Maybe Zeff should have guessed something like this was up when Sanji had asked him how he had dealt with the stress of raising a kid in the dangerous world they lived in. But he had just assumed his boy had finally matured enough to realize how much of an antagonistic dumbass he had been at times.

“I did want to tell you though,” Sanji continues, his voice guilty.  

Roronoa has moved close to his mate’s side, not touching though. Which is probably what Sanji actually wants – always had been a bit funny about any too direct an offer of comfort. Something Zeff’s probably as much to blame for as anything else in his life.

“You have no idea how many times I nearly did.”

“Probably for the best you didn’t,” Zeff says because he can’t have his kid feeling guilty for doing the smart thing. “I don’t know if I’d have been able to keep away if you did.”

Neither he nor his ship these days are made for the journey to the Grand Line. And it wouldn’t have been good for Sanji or the rest of the crew of his to have an old pirate getting underfoot while they were making names for themselves on history’s pages.

“Hell, I’m gonna’ struggle letting you sail off with my grandkids with you now. You better come visit more than you have been!” He doesn’t actually hold it against them and damn well know the reason why this is the first time he’s seen them since Sanji left to join a pirate crew. But he still missed years of his grandkids lives as a result and they had better make up for it.

[olderthannetfic]

Re: discourse about using outliers / the worst examples of a group to justify generalizations-- this is also a problem with the femslash wank asks

I'm one of those filthy f/f folks who actually does want to see more femslash relative to mascslash, but I'm not anti-fujo or a terf or telling ppl to change their own tastes. I'm proship / SALS and kinkmato and I think fujoshi are great; I appreciate their massive contribution to fandom culture including AO3's existence itself

But some ppl seem like they just hate f/f fandoms generally and want a reason to bitch about us? and I've felt super demoralized by it whenever I read your blog lately

Like the complaints about f/f being too wholesome and fluffy and that this is somehow bad?? tumblr is C O V E R E D with cutesey fluffy bubbly m/m art using That Artstyle we all know and nobody complains about it. But when sapphic art is like this suddenly its cause we're boring sexless puritans who dont know what pussy should look like? The huge amount of kinky weird depraved f/f thats out there gets totally erased and the wholesome stuff gets scapegoated as a symbol of regressiveness.

Or the constant lecturing to "JuSt CrEaTe It YoUrSeLf" as if nobody who says they want more f/f would actually be making it??? How do you KNOW they're not making it? Are you stalking the tumblr of every ao3 f/f author to make sure they never expressed the opinion you hate , and vice versa??

Yeah a few awful ppl have been super obnoxious, terfy, or puritanical bullies with how they talk about this topic. But when you constantly bring those people up to demonize talking about it at all it feels like you're creating a taboo around it because you want those annoying lesbian feminists to shut the fuck up. Cause how dare we, right? How dare we express desire for something in a way that reminds you patriarchy exists.

You won't even let us express that we're bitter or sad about feeling like a minority even amongst other queer women. You won't let us express simple jealousy without interpreting that jealousy in the most terfy antiship bad faith way possible!

I won't defend those who actually harass ppl or moralize over ships. I won't defend anti-fujos. But when you constantly lump me in with those people just because I looked at AO3 stats and went "Hmmm, it would be cool if this was more balanced :/" or whatever it feels like you just don't want me to say anything at all

--

Is this about me personally? Yes, I agree that topics that are repetitive start to feel like an attack.

But with regards to AO3 stats, this is my pet peeve, as you probably know if you read here often, and I'm unlikely to stop being angry about it.

AO3 is extremely unusual in the history of fandom for being a very big, very multifandom site that is not m/m-specific but where m/m outnumbers other things. There have been large-ish slash archives before. There have been and still are other large, multifandom archives, from FFN and Wattpad, which are in AO3's weight class, to medium size ones like MediaMiner. The spaces that aren't m/m-specific generally have f/m vastly outnumbering m/m. They also make it harder to get stats than AO3 does.

I don't have an issue with people looking at overall fandom stats and complaining that f/f has the short end of the stick when it comes to fanfic broadly. I do object to people pulling only AO3 stats and going "The one anomalous clubhouse that looks like this is the problem" and pointing at m/m.

It's the same problem you point out, just in another direction. After being told "Okay, but the amount of m/m..." constantly for years, people are fed up and never want to hear it again. Even if it's phrased nicely. Even if the person saying it is also hurting.

[antimony-medusa]

"They're honestly so sibling-coded."

I grew up in a conservative, rural area where people got married young. It was not uncommon to see marraiges happen when the people involved were 19, 20, 21, and there was this sort of expectation that any relationship you were in in your teen years had like a 70% chance of leading to marriage. More, if you were especially religious. This attitude was so pervasive that if a woman was friends with a man, or even hung out together, there was this automatic societal assumption that you were early relationship, which led into late relationship, which led into where you were going to get married, which led into babies and a family.

And I hated it. I hated it because I was aroace and didn't know it yet, but even just as a baby feminist feeling out what it meant to be a woman and how I was perceived in the world, I hated the assumption that all my m/f relationships were only worth something if they were leading to romance and marriage (and babies). The idea that men and women couldn't be friends, because men only thought about women in a romantic/sexual way, was actively taught me by everyone from pastors to helpful older coworkers. I even got told that f/f friendships were basically killing time until you got into a romantic m/f relationship, which is where you'd find actual fullfilment and happiness. It sucked.

And then I moved away, and I got out of the conservative religious circles, and then in my 20s, people kept saying the same thing. At least it wasn't saying "god made you for relationships (and babies)," but it was still saying that y'know, men are only interested in one thing, and it's cruel to lead them on, and so on, and so forth. Half of the world is going to only think of you in terms of what you're good for in relation to their relationship status, and the other half of the world is going to tell you to suck it up and deal with it.

This is still the background radiation of much of the world, still. I am getting this less in my 20s because many of my male friends are married, (or gay), but still, as soon as I meet someone new the interested looks start to pile in. As a person who doesn't plan on getting into a romantic relationship, I do not love this.

Immediately seeing a m/f friendship and going "ooooo they're KISSING" is not respectful of the guy's ability to have friendships with people he's not having sex with, but let's look at what it messages about the girl in this scenario.

A) women are only worth talking about in terms of what they can do to for men, what they are in connection with men B) friendship is unimportant and not real, women only exist to be romance options

So I feel strongly about allowing women to be percieved as their own beings and have cross-gender friendships without turning it into romance.

This is not an uncommon take on the internet! I see a lot of people talking about allowing people to be friends without defaulting to shipping.

But I don't know how to tell you that seeing a m/f relationship and saying "Oh they're siblings", when we're talking about celebrities/streamers is still sending a lot of the same messages. The core thing you're communicating is still the same. It's falling into the same traps.

I get the sense that a lot of people see a relationship they want to sort of celebrate and enjoy, and they know that shipping is bad, so they just shunt the "oh they're special to each other" to the left into a family dynamic. I will just say they're siblings, that way nobody can accuse me of shipping, and I'm good!

But what this does is still messages a) woman are reduced down to their relationship with a man, into what they can do for the man, and b) friendship is unimportant and not real, women only exist to be non-romanceable family and the rest of them, the romance options.

If the only way you can conceive of a woman as being important to a man is either being romantic/sexual with him or by saying that they're related, that's still bad. If you literally have to put one of the strongest relationship taboos in our culture in the way or you'll just default into kissing I guess, that's still messaging some really concerning things about how you're portrating women.

And once inside the family dynamics, jesus fuck, you guys. Family dynamics have such a trend to slot women into nurturing and protective roles, where the "older sister" "is the one with the brain cell" and "will take care of him" and will be there suborned to his story to be a surrogate mother figure that takes care of him. This, frankly, sucks.

I am an older sister as a fairly important part of my identity. I love being an older sister. But the way this fandom treats older sisters as tiny non-sexual mothering machines with no interiority or autonomy is not good at all, when it comes to actively respecting women as people.

Honestly, I don't like either option, but when you look at how women get treated when sisterified in fanon (older responsible figure who will take care of our precious baby boy) and how women get treated when shipped (mothering options still exist here but also sometimes they dom him), I might prefer the shipping. And I just did a whole multi paragraph about how much the shipping sucks!

I'm not even going to get into what happens when women get actively assigned mom in a family dynamic. All the worst parts of shipping with none of the fun smut.

I am aware I am talking about the worst excesses of family dynamic here, because this fandom offers lots to choose from, and there are ways to do family dynamic in a good way. Some of the most important relationships in my life are familial, and when actually delved into, you can absolutely still portray a full and nuanced portrayal within a family dynamic. This is a possibility. But god, when I look at the fandom trends and what rises to the top of my dash, oof.

And like, there's a larger trend in this fandom where people seem to be incapable of thinking of friendships as valuable and worthy, if you see them as important to each other it must be familial, but when you do it with women, damn.

Can we give seeing women as full autonomous being who are capable of their own opinions and desires a shot? See them as more than just romance options or [illegal to romance] options? Just let them be friends? Please?

[felassan]

Some DA facts collected together, from recent tweets -

GhilDirthalen: "the frostbite engine didn’t do ending slides, so the slides you see in DAI are actually paintings that quickly spawn in your bed room. You can zoom out during the end with fly cam" John Epler: "i remember when we were trying to do these and we're like 'hey can we display still images' and the answer was 'uhh it's a lot more complicated than you think' so this was the solution. i set up all the cameras, and I THINK level design handled all the scripting logic" JE: "anyways videogames are basically held together by magic and hope and it's a legitimate miracle anytime one gets finished"

JE: "When you 'sprint' on a horse in DAI it doesn't really do much because frostbite couldn't stream in levels fast enough, so we just added speed lines and changed the camera so it felt faster. JE: "i've carried the guilt of this for years. guilt is an ocean, and i'm tired of drowning." "feels like I just murdered Santa Claus in front of many of you" [source], "feels like i just declassified Area 51" [source]. "i'm just glad the truth is finally out there" [source] Seb Hanlon: "ME1 did it first" JE: "just to be SUPER clear, riding a horse is faster than being on-foot, but the difference between normal horse run and horse 'sprint' is non-existent except for making it look faster". "the base horse speed is faster than unhorsed run speed, but horse sprint doesn’t move you faster than normal horse speed" [source] JE: "there were three days on that project where my entire job was ‘try to make horse sprint feel faster’" User: "I swear to god John I knew it, I fucking knew it, none of the mounts have different speeds, either?" JE: "i actually don't know the answer to that one, i just set up the gameplay cameras and did what what i was told." Seb: "but they have different sounds /screams in Red Hart" JE: "no one believed that's what a Red Hart really sounds like but they are fucked up animals."

Seb: "The save system in DAI loads with all doors in the area closed. This is a problem if there’s a door between you and a party member when the save happens, because they can’t open doors. If they can’t path to you, they get teleported to join you before the fade-up from black." Seb: "This “system” was rigged entirely in Frostbite Schematic logic quite late in development once we realized it was a problem." JE: "i vaguely remember that the first time we really saw this problem was when we were putting together the Redcliffe demo for... whatever event we showed Redcliffe at." Seb: "Yeah I think that was the map I tested the teleport-fallback in. Dorian was there in those saves for sure?" JE: "yeah 100%. it was when you first end up in the future and you're fighting your way to the locked-up followers. i think we were playing it in Hanged Man or Neverwinter and we discovered 'oh shit our followers can't get to you'"

Seb: "Zither’s first-pass ability icons originally echoed a broad swath of iconic album art. The UI art team made me so happy. Why didn’t it ship? Ain’t nobody chasing down those IP clearances for an April Fools DLC."

JE: "in DA2 Mark of the Assassin, if you let Baron Arlange live after the first encounter with him, he shows up very deep in the background of several scenes, creeping on Hawke and the party around stalagmites and around corners." "no one asked for this but i put it in as a little treat because i thought it was very funny. i still do. oh the scene where you get captured in the vault by Prosper and his guards, that's the same 5 (6?) guards just cycled through multiple times." [source, two]

JE: "i've told this story before but the reason Iron Bull's romance scene takes place in a separate tower is because the mocap for everyone walking in on you assumed that there was a doorway, and the player's bedroom ended up having stairs. so we moved the scene to the Sex Tower"

Seb: "DAI: To enable party followers’ AI to use their defensive abilities (dodge/block/parries), enemies spawn a “telegraph volume” as part of their ability wind-ups. This tells the party AI what kind of reaction it can use to counter (if it’s not on cooldown and it can branch in time)." "“Parry” telegraphs are the ‘weakest’ (can activate block, dodge, or parry abilities); “dodge” telegraphs are the ‘strongest’ (dodge or get fucked). There’s an all-abilities AI cooldown on these responses; before this was added, I saw Cass perfect block for minutes at a time." [source]

Seb: "the Qunari Ashaad in Trespasser is the only combat creature I personally implemented; and the only one intentionally plays both ranged and melee. and it was great fun watching play-testers climb a ladder to close and shut down his range attack—and get kicked off by the sweep"

Seb: "I’m still personally pleased that the Red Templar faction in DAI has such a strong overarching principle: “power corrupts”. The more elite the creature, the less human they are."

Seb: "Both the Children in DAO Awakening and the Harvester in DAO hide their extra body parts *inside* their torso mesh before they appear."

Seb: "Varric in DA2 is the most specialest snowflake; he’s not like any other dwarf because his rig includes all the Bianca animation bones."

Seb: "DAI’s Emerald Graves was the map where we hammered out the conceptual balance of using abilities based on the enemy composition and position."

Seb: "There’s an animation-driven movement mode in DAI that’s only used by a handful of large creatures; the dragon and the Red Templar Behemoth are the ones I remember."

Seb: "“making two combat creatures at melee range face, and not slide past, each other when they’re playing attack animations” took a surprising amount of problem solving on DAI; most of the basic-attack animations have both moving and standing variations for this reason."

Seb: "30 seconds of good combat gameplay takes more-or-less the same development effort as 10 minutes of good combat gameplay. Which is more than you’d think. IYKYK."

Seb: "The original concept for the Grand Fear Demon at the end of DAI’s Fade was a “level boss” - instead of a single big combat creature (like a dragon), the idea was it was so big it would attack out of the darkness with “limbs” (creatures) that shared a health pool. Cut for scope."

Seb: "The core combat ability animation/effects/branching system in DAI is called “CSM”, for “combat state machine”. It’s the third generation spiritual successor to the first system called CSM that I worked on, built for a project called Revolver…"

Seb: "The “impassable” purple fire zones in Trespasser were a tremendous pain in the ass, because both: - making them do enough damage fast enough to be a lock-and-key for invincibility powers as intended - keeping party members from following you in and getting bug-zappered" User: "I hate to tell you this but my first time through, I was determined to get through and I did not know that invincibility powers were literally down the stairs so I spent 10 minutes and eventually managed to get through with some mage shenanigans" Seb: "by the time we got to trespasser there were so many abilities you MIGHT have that MIGHT JUST get you through that we gave it our best shot and said “good enough”" User: "I died at that thing SO MANY TIMES until I realized there was an invincibility boost, lol" Seb: "clearly signaling “THIS IS A THING YOU WILL DO LATER” without saying it, especially if it’s a mechanical systems thing, can be surprisingly difficult"

Seb: "during development on DAI someone made a staff that, when used (hit the ground with the butt animation) spawned a bunch of nugs that ran off in all directions. for checking pathmesh bounds, obvs"

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[darkchocolatedimples]

the tortured poets department (sponsored by my procrastination)

excuse my essays for each song the lyrics are so interesting to me so there’s like actual analyzation for each one.

fortnight - dex

that lingering resentment disguised by surface level friendship is that not literally him and sophie come on. “run into you sometimes, ask about the weather” the awkwardness!! “your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her” he was the #1 fitz hater for multiple reasons after all (although i think he was over it by the time keefe became prominent)

the tortured poets department - sophie

this is so keefe from her perspective come on “you’re in self sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down the road, but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” “i chose this cyclone with you” “sometimes i wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me. but you told [biana] that you’d kill yourself if i ever leave. and i had said that to [dex] about you so i felt seen. everyone we know understands why we’re meant to be.” also let’s be so real keefes drawing journals + goodbye letters, he’s giving tortured poet

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - fitz

guys he’s just a silly little boy with anger issues, and he’s MY silly little boy with anger issues stop hating him 😞 “the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild” “he saw forever so he smashed it up” he may have fucked up but it happens!!

down bad - dex

CUZ FUCK IT HE WAS IN LOVE!!! also if i may present to you: “i might just die it would make no difference” in the context that outside of sophie saw no purpose to his own life. he saw himself just as he is presented in the books: as her best friend and nothing more. so in losing that (blaming himself and his own feelings for it) what was left of him? who was left? sophie was also his ONLY friend. not to mention in the context of the fact that when he WAS presumed dead nobody cared, they still cared more about sophie.

so long, london - keefe

no not bc of london actually but because “and you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment” is actually a direct reference to keefitz’ friendship falling apart as fitz got angrier and keefe got more closed off. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” “im just mad as hell cause i loved this place” me when everglen is no longer keefes safehaven. nor anyone’s for that matter bc its haunted by alvars betrayal and alden’s mind break and fitz’ anger.

but daddy i love him - biana

“i just learned these people only raise you to cage you” “i just learned these people try and save you…cause they hate you” “dutiful daughter all my plans were laid…growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.” i hate alden vacker. how do u manage to use and fuck up all ur kids by age 12 like wow. “i’ll tell you something about my good name: it’s mine alone to disgrace” she would 100% say this. she would also 100% say “im having his baby! no im not but you should see your faces.”

fresh out the slammer - keefe

sokeefe or keefitz take it as it comes. “in the shade of how he was feeling.” “as i said in my letters.” “my friends try, but i wouldn’t hear it…for just one glimpse of his smile” “swirled you into all of my poems” it’s so him it is truly.

florida!!! - keefe

THIS one’s about london! “well me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time! yes i’m haunted but im feeling just fine” ethan and eleanor wright who?? “your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in” candle shade/shores of solace type beat “i need to forget so take me to [london], i have some regrets i’ll bury them in [london]” “i don’t want to exist so take me to [london]” aw bae

guilty as sin? - dex

i don’t know how to explain but i just feel like this feeling of i shouldn’t be doing/feeling this the literal guilt and all these delusions and the sheer intensity of it all is just giving me dex. “this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry? i dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks” “i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” this must be the way he loves if he thinks so little of himself and doesn’t let himself have good things. “i choose you and me religiously” because at the end of the day when he makes a decision or chooses something or someone he puts his all into it.

who’s afraid of little old me - sophie

“you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. you caged me then you called me crazy. i am what i am cuz you trained me.” all of it’s literally giving her growing into herself in stellarlune and making decisions on her own. SHE IS NOT A PAWN!!!

i can fix him (no really i can) - tam

idk its just giving him defending rayni with his life when everyone else including linh was like who tf is this girl.

loml - fitz

every sad pining song is fitz vacker to me. esp the refrences to the romance being dead but never buried... "still alive killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried...i'm your holy ghost" the way that sophie switched up on him in stellarlune (although i fully support her) didn't give him much time to recover. "are they second-hand embarrased that i can't get out of bed because something counterfiet's dead" give me heartbroken fitz!!! for once instead of angry fitz just give me tired, resigned fitz. "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unecessary, should've let it stayed buried" is such a good summary of sophitz imo.

i can do it with a broken heart - linh

linh is so interesting to me as a parallel of fitz: meaning she, just like him, is always angry. however she masks it in smiles and kindness the way he never learned to, he just lashes out. this song feels like it’s talking about that mask: “i’m so depressed i act like it’s my birthday everyday” “i can read your mind ‘she’s having the time of her life’ …i can show you lies” “cause im miserable and nobody even knows” “i can hold my breath, i’ve been doing it since [i] left”

the smallest man who ever lived - keefe

it’s giving a letter to cassius/gisela/alvar. “and i don’t even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. and i don’t miss what we had” “did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?” “in 50 years will all this be declassified and you’ll confess why you did it, and i’ll say ‘good riddance’” “i would’ve died for your sins instead i just died inside. and you deserve prison but you won’t get time” “in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. and i’ll forget you but i’ll never forgive.”

the alchemy - sophie

“cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me. honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?” aw sokeefe.

clara bow - biana

BIANA BEING COMPARED TO HER BROTHERS AND ALL THE VACKERS BEFORE THEM "the crown is stained but you're the real queen" "beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours, demanding more...its hell on earth to be heavenly" i love her.

the black dog - fitz

bring back petty fitz!! i think the young girl not knowing the starting line could parallel with keefe not being able to understand things about telepathy that really connected fitz and sophie. i also think we could shift the angle and make it about alvars betrayal and how it sparked his angry trauma response. “you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.” “now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes…even if i die screaming, and i hope you hear it.”

imgonnagetyouback - fitz

he is 100% this delusional. he's just like me. "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if its handcuffed im leaving here with you." "told my friends i hate you but i love you just the same, pick your poison babe, i'm poison either way"

the albatross - keefe

“one bad seed kills the garden. one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen.” “the devil that you know looks now more like an angel. i’m the life you chose, and all this terrible danger.” HE IS THE ALBATROSS. i can’t wait for the movie i want edits of him to this. ACTUALLY I WANT A LOT OF THINGS maybe I’ll make a separate post about that.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - keefe

you saw it coming. this song SCREAMS KEEFITZ. like- “you said some things that i can’t unabsorb…you needed me but you needed drugs more.” “changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you.” “if you want to break my cold cold heart just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’” WHAT THE HECK DUDE IM SOBBING “back to the moment i crashed into you like so many wrecks do” that line solidified this as keefe’s pov for me. in conclusion. SOBBING.

how did it end - biana

i propose to you: not a relationship, but the vacker family falling apart and the way they became a huge subject of gossip in the lost cities. when alden’s mind broke, while fitz had turned to anger biana became depressed, and i think this song could relate to that as well. the whole part of “guess who we ran into at the shops” feels very much like conversations others would have about the vackers at the time and when alvar betrayed them. “soon they’ll go home to their [brothers], smug cause they know they can trust him.” and i think at the end of the day when all of it happened biana was just young and betrayed and lost, because she didn’t see it coming or understand why (who did?) “the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling” “i can’t pretend like i understand, how did it end?”

so high school - biana

HER VIBES ALL THE WAY she’s so cute and lovely and i want this for her (and dex. specifically dex. not anyone else.)

i hate here - sophie

was leaning dex until “you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared of going outside” but the whole idea of escapism applies to both of them. especially to sophie though when she lived with humans and was so alone because even her own family couldn’t understand her, and she canonically is a bookworm and probably found more comfort in those other lives than she ever could in her own. "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind...i read about it in a book when I was a precious child" "ill get lost on purpose, this place made me feel worthless"

thanK you aIMee - tam

aimee 🤝🏽 the song parents. “everyone knows that my [sister] is a saintly woman. but she used to say she wished that you were dead.” “but when i count the scars there’s a moment of truth: that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.” thank you song parents 🫶🏽

i look in people’s windows - fitz

i thought this song sounded so creepy till I actually listened to it and now the idea of like lowkey stalking someone just to see if they still care about you or have moved on is slightly making sense. "does it feel alright to not know me? i'm addicted to the if only." it's giving keefitz (when isn't it?)

the prophecy - dex

"let it once be me, who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?" THIS JUST REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THE BEGINNING OF STELLARLUNE WHEN HES LITERALLY MOURNING WHAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER YET i need more dex being the oldest sibling and shouldering that burden. the love-hate relationship with his siblings while simultaneously trying to make their quality of life so much better than what he had. also "a lesser woman would've lost hope, a greater woman wouldn't beg" is so him. he is so that middle.

cassandra - tam

"so they killed cassandra first cuz she feared the worst...do you believe me now?" "you can mark my words, i said it first. in a mourning warning, no one heard." tam when keefe joined the neverseen fr

peter - keefe

pls tell me you saw this one coming. "are you still a mindreader? a natural scene stealer, I've heard great things [fitz], but life was always easier on you than it was on me." "promises, oceans deep, but never to keep" "forgive me [fitz], my lost fearless leader...from when we were just kids. is it something I did?" i think I'm just in a constant state of mourning their friendship.

the bolter - keefe

obvious reasons but also "i can confirm she made a curious child, ever reviled by everyone but her own father." "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping." "she's got the best stories, you can be sure, as she was leaving, it feels like freedom."

robin - dex

had to do some research for this one but apparently its talking about preserving a child's innocence! for this reason it reminds me again of dex and his siblings because of the way he really wants to protect them from things that haven't happened yet (especially considering rex being talentless). "way to go tiger" definitely sounds like something he would say to them feeling all sentimental but then, knowing siblings, they'd probably grill him about why he's being nice 💀

the manuscript -

we know the drill by now, fitz gets all the breakup songs because they could be about sophie OR keefe. "afterwords, she only ate kid's cereal, and slept in her mother's bed" while the song is discussing reverting back to childhood habits in vulnerability, fitz's vulnerability made him angry (but it was still a big change from his regular self) "looking back might be the only way to move forward" I hope he does get to move on!!! im tired of the love triangle plot if we're not gonna focus on keefitz' friendship 😭

[scribblinartist]

rating every smiling critters ships (rare pair included)

okay remember everyone these are just my opinions please don't harasse me for it-

from 6 to 10 : I like it or it's one of my favorites

from 5 to 0 : I dislike it or it gives me the ick

first off I'd like to start with the ships that includes my favorite boy, Dogday, our very good Boi

Catnap x Dogday :

the classic sun and moon ship

the ship is good if we're talking about the cartoon version of this ship, because the gameplay version is... ick.

I like the dynamic but the ship isn't really my favorite since I mostly see them as friends than lovers

I'll give it a 6/10

Craftycorn x Dogday :

one of my favorites

I like the dynamic these two has

shy x energetic dynamic

kinda reminds me of Fluttershy x PinkiePie

it's a 9/10

KickinChicken x Dogday :

both are stars.

the true rare pair, haven't seen anyone ship them

don't have much to talk about the dynamic, it's kinda cool tho

I'll give it a 7/10

Hoppy x Dogday :

does anybody even ship this-

idk why but I always saw them as siblings figures so this ship isn't really my favorite, still a good one tho.

I'll give it a 4/10

Bubba x Dogday :

gives me the nerd x tiger vibes somehow

I see them more as friends so... yea no.

4/10

Bobby x Dogday :

your honor they are underrated.

DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW THIS SHIP EXIST???

idk why but this ship gives me butterflies its just cutie potato

8/10

Picky x Dogday :

we all agree that nobody ship this

they just food buddies

2/10

now with ships with our secretly William afton- I mean Catnap.

Catnap x Bobby :

underrated.

HEAR ME OUT THEIR DYNAMIC

they need more fanarts yall

moon and cupid

8/10

Catnap x KickinChicken :

MOON AND STAR? YES. YES THEY ARE.

gays. my beloved.

Cool x Chill.

8/10

Catnap x Craftycorn :

I love how yall decided that they're enemies to lovers

bro stole his best friend's girl-

I mostly see fanart of this ship with Dogday being included, never seen any where its only the two of them

7/10

Catnap x Picky :

would yall be surprised if I told you that this ship actually exists? (it existed right after chapter 3 release)

they give the "partners in crime" vibes

8/10

Catnap x Hoppy :

they have something special yall I'm not insane

underrated

again, Cool x Chill.

10/10

Catnap x Bubba :

never seen any fanart of this ship

idk I can't see them in any way being romantic w/ each other

2/10

time for our sporty girl to shine

Hoppy x KickinChicken :

Cool girl x Cool Boy

the ship cool but I see them more as friends

yall already deciding that they're frienemies

7/10

Hoppy x Bobby :

lesbians.

8/10

Hoppy x Craftycorn :

haven't seen any fanart of em

they are the ultimate girlfriends yall

7/10

Hoppy x Picky :

I see them more as sisters

their dynamic is cool

6/10

Hoppy x Bubba :

I don't think this ship even exists-

3/10

the nerdo has came.

Bubba x Kickin :

the classic nerd x jock

the gays are being gays and I'm here for it

7/10

Bubba x Crafty :

left brain right brain, brilliant.

I mostly saw them as friends

6/10

Bubba x Picky :

yall can already tell the amount of fanart I saw of these two

they're like siblings to me so..

5/10

Bubba x Bobby :

this exists?-

idk their dynamic isn't really that much

4/10

our beloved yandere

Bobby x Kickin :

they are inlove you can't tell me otherwise.

LISTEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO HEAR ME OUT

10/10

Bobby x Crafty :

so we all agree that Bobby is definitely a yandere in this ship right?

I don't see it often but I like the dynamic

7/10

Bobby x Picky :

okay listen to me these two are lesbians who give each other goodnight kisses you can't prove me wrong

underrated af

I NEED TO KNOW IF SOMEONE SHIP THIS PLS

8/10

the artist has come to the show

Crafty x Kickin :

OKAY LISTEN YOU-

they are so inlove and they give each other hugs and cuddles

this ship exists because I said so.

10/10

Crafty x Picky :

they buddies

6/10

Time for some food.

Picky x Food :

this ship is very underrated

yall need to pay more attention to it

10/10

okay hope yall enjoyed reading this

[reallifetangent]

A take I wanna have (please don't yell at me or attack me. Corrections might be okay, it's late for me and English is not my main language):

Edwin's love interests. Less to best for him.

Cat King on the less. I know. I love his character, he's very charismatic. I love the teasing and seeing how far he can push Edwin's limits and face his own feelings. I do live for that in some ships. Their dynamic is interesting but let's be real. Even if CK is an Entity and has 9 lives (currently only 6), Edwin is a ghost. Forever 16, forever existing. At some point the relationship would look and or feel weird. And tbh is the one that changed the less thanks to his interactions with Edwin. Edwin grew a lot (and learned a lot about himself) but Cat King? He still play games and yeah, he cares for Ed, but he's been like that since always. And to be loved is to be changed. Maybe the dying for Edwin when he tried to protect him from Ester and ended up dead counts for something, but he's too much in his idealistic bubble where at some point Edwin would fall for his charms. Maybe if he approached in a more friendly way and not trapping him in town, (a less Wattpad Cliche Way), maybe something could've come out better. And look, I love their teasing. I want CatWin being something before Edwin and Charles becoming an actual couple. I still want Cat King and Edwin playing with each other, who's smarter, who's sharper, who's one step ahead of the other, silly little games between them. I want Edwin appreciating Cat King's death for him. I want Cat King obsessed in a respectful way for Ed, appreciate him, praise him. And Ed just, panicking because too gay to function but at the same time, it's not who he wants to hear that from. Yet sometimes falls for that but he knows it's wrong for him.

Simon. We know he was his bully. He had feelings for Ed, and back when they both were alive, being like them was a sin. He only wanted to scare Edwin. Nothing else. If Edwin was able to forgive Simon in hell, understanding it wasn't his fault they both died (technically it is but nobody told them entities and ghosts are real so that wasn't on him), and even wanting to get him out of there, there were a reason. Also, both were sixteen. Still a lot to develop and think and experiment. It took Edwin 100 years to finally open up and be comfortable about himself. Maybe Ghost Simon could learn at the same time with Edwin as his teacher, since both were the same period. Could be interesting Simon revoked from death back to the living because he has unfinished businesses somehow and Edwin taking his case just to make things more clearer and give us a better chance to know why Edwin forgave him. Because just the "Oh, you were in love with me and you didn't know the sacrifice would actually work" doesn't sound enough reasons for someone like Edwin to break out an ex bully from literal hell. There is an explanation. There must be.

Monty. Just. Take away Edwin having feelings for Charles, and Monty being Ester's Familiar Crow. Otherwise, it could've worked. Not right away, but with patience, they could've been in a cute relationship. Monty caught feelings for real, and Edwin is too slow to understand, but at some point they'll both learn and well, lovers. I see Edwin on the aromantic spectrum, so, Monty would have to work his way and Edwin open up to get to like Monty. Or just accept they can be a platonic relationship and that can be good too. Also same issue as Crystal or any Living Entity. Age permanency. Could be a nice Teenage Love Story for Edwin and Monty, but not in case Monty is affected by human ageing.

And best by far, Charles. 30 years of being the married couple on acid. Both timeless, forever young, together by choice, each other's personal afterlife. They died when they had so much to live for. Now they can't be more alive thanks to each other. Even if they end up as platonic stuff and never end up being partners, there wouldn't be any complaining. Edwin loves Charles in a romantic way, and just knowing that Charles won't go away because of that is a total relief, and they have the eternity to find out of Charles does have romantic feelings as well. And reading a post about Charles being a People Pleaser and always saying or doing what others wanted so they like him and been trying to be on Edwin's good side to not push him away for 30 years, so, knowing that his best mate loves him must be a good reason to stop doubting Edwin.

Charles and Crystal are okay. I mean, I like their relationship just because they needed someone. Crystal admitted she could try if he were alive, but between her brainwash, the demon possession, everything happening, it's more like a distraction than an actual feeling. Maybe better writing and they could be her teenage love. After that, she'll grow up. He won't. (I know I said best partners for Edwin but I wanted to clarify my take on Crystal and Charles).

[uskglass-mirror-house]

Thoughts about chapter 21: the cards of Marseilles

I have been reading bits and pieces from the book as part of the 20th anniversary read-along. I wanted to join in once it reached chapter 29 (where I left the book on my third re-read), but then I remembered how cool chapter 21 was and went through it and ho boiiii I have so many thoughts. I am definitely going to make a massive breakdown of the fortune-telling and why it is so genius, but now I'm just sharing random thoughts I had while reading. Enjoy (and mind the spoilers)!

The start of the chapter reminded me of my old theory about the author of the book. The first time I read jsamn I had this theory that the author of the book was either a magician or a fairy and when Jonathan Strange met that one fairy in the brugh I became convinced that it was her. I had this impression because of the footnotes and some descriptions, including the one of the ale-house at the start of this chapter. Why? Well, the footnotes can be divided into two categories: the academic ones, which cite specific in-universe texts (or real ones from our world); and the folklore ones, which usually inform us of some magical event, fairy culture, stories from in-universe folklore, and so on. Now, I always assumed that while many scholars would know the former, the latter was mostly the domain of fairy/ magicians that had first knowledge coming from the Otherlands. But the curious thing is that some descriptions within the story are narrated in the same way as the folklore notes, giving me the impression that these places exist at a junction between reality and the Otherlands and also that the knowledge about some specific events was obtained through magical means. Page 197 is a perfect example of this kind of narration.

I love how this is basically a date between Childermass and Vinculus. This is the first convo between the Book and its reader and it went exactly as well as you could imagine.

THE ACTUAL FORTUNE READING IS SO GOOD AND MULTILAYERED AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Childermass copied the card for a sailor and then told him his fortune: "that he would be drowned dead before the year was out." And now I am here wondering... was that a sailor on the Penlaw, the ship that transported Stephen Black and his mother??? That ship also ended up in a shipwreck according to the Gentleman...

I like thinking that the Raven King was watching this whole thing go down in some magical manner. Looking over Childermass' shoulder and being like "bro, you're cooking right now, not gonna lie". Or going "How dramatic." in the most deadpan voice ever when Vinculus changes the cards to look like him.... aaaaa I love Uskglass so much.

It would also be cool if Uskglass followed the events through Childermass' card (since we know that L'Empereur did not go back to look like a regular card but stayed that way). I like to think that this is how Childermass was enchanted when he saved Norrell's life later on. The card acted as a path for Uskglass' magic.

In a similar way, I like thinking that Uskglass was watching over in other scenes like the Genlteman was doing while pestering Strange. It would make it so funny if he were present while Lascelles berates him, or whenever Norrell does. Like imagine:

Norrell: "He abandoned us! He was evil!!"

Uskglass (invisible): "u sure 'bout that? lol"

Norrell: "I foolishly tried to summon him when I was younger..."

Uskglass: "You surely did buddy. Can't say I was impressed, though."

Norrell: "...but it never worked and I think that was fortunate!"

Uskglass: "This is why nobody likes you, Gilbert."

ok, these are all the things that came to mind. For the breakdown of the tarot reading, I'm going to make a separate post one of these days. Definitely going to re-read the whole novel now, my fixation has returned!!!!

[eisforeidolon]

You seem to have been in the fandom for quite some time and I was curious has the factions in the fandom always been at odds with each other in regards to the actors and the story of SPN? It just seems like the hellers are trying way to hard to take over this show and it irritates me that they insist on a story moving forward that looks drastically different from what we got from this series. I really hope if there is a continuation of some sort that both Jared and Jensen stick to this story being about these two brothers because I would hate to see that diminished by delusional fans with an agenda to just win and prove themselves right. Misha continues to frustrate me with his pandering and now Jensen is having to try and navigate "gotcha" questions to prove his character is actually bi. It just seems like some fans are not enjoying this show for what it was and now I am in the camp of hoping no reboot happens. Maybe J2 can do something else together. I would enjoy anything at this point to get away from Destiel and crazy shippers.

Someone else may be able to give a more thorough picture with detailed history, because I haven't been here the whole time, just since about season 8 or so. The general impression I've gotten from my own observations and previous discussions on the topic is that it was a cumulative thing, though.

A lot of people are squicked by incest and RPF, which is entirely fair. So there was a certain portion of the audience prior to season four that was desperately looking for something to ship that wasn't either of those things. Then Castiel came along and stuck around for more than just one or two episodes, and they were off. Obviously there was some shipwarring over that. No fandom over a certain size is actually very peaceful and there had already been some back and forth between Samgirls and Deangirls over who was The Worst or The Woobiest in the early seasons. But it started out as just typical shipping stuff at the beginning. You know, writing fanfic, making gifsets, talking up certain scenes, enjoying the shipper teases, coming up with wishful scenarios that could happen. Just shipping something that isn't canon which fandom has been doing basically forever.

Except somewhere along the line, some of those shippers started to take their own fan activity way too seriously. It wasn't just an interesting possibility to read that scene as intimate, the writers totally intended it as intimate, how could they not? That joke? Wasn't really a joke, it was the characters' hidden feelings trying to come out. All those things that could be very, uh, creatively associated with sexuality/a romantic relationship? Were secret signals for the Real Audience aware of the Real Story that had to stay hidden for now for Reasons, but would obviously be Endgame! No one they acknowledged the existence of cared about Sam & Dean & the family business anymore. Except maybe a couple lingering creepy wincest shippers, and ew, nobody likes them! It just kind of built on itself over time. It wasn't as intense when I joined the fandom as it was by the end, because each secret hint they convinced themselves was actually there, each lie and misleading hint Misha told them? Built on itself to where they convinced themselves they had a mountain of evidence rather than a house of cards that was all jokers scribbled on by a five year old.

I don't know exactly why it happened or what any more specific tipping points may have been, although it has been a more general trend for fanon ship shippers to get very demanding of TPTB as those people have become more accessible on SM. Still, I don't know of any faction that are still going nearly four years after their canon ended like hellers are. Is it the conventions? Is it that they were already talking revival as it ended? There are some interesting questions there, but I don't think anyone has really delved deep into all the specifics of the whys and wherefores.

Regardless, I really don't see any universe in which Jared and Jensen agree to a continuation that isn't about Sam & Dean, given everything they've ever said about those characters and their story. I can't even see any kind of additional attempt at a spin-off including D/C. It's just not a canon thing (according to anyone who hasn't been shown to have a hidden agenda). Even Castiel's final scene interpreted as romantic? Is just about Castiel's feelings, not the ship being a thing. Jensen may have decided it's not worth trying to talk people out of their wild interpretations, but that doesn't mean he's actually decided they actually know the show or his character better than he does.

On the other hand, I don't see any continuation that doesn't involve hellers eagerly convincing themselves they're getting secret signals through Dean's eye blinks up until the very last second that the ship will happen ANYMOMENTNOW! And then wailing in bafflement about how they could be so wrong and screaming about homophobia before self-soothing each other that surely it will be canon next time. Surely the Sam & Dean show has to stop being about Sam & Dean sooner or later. It's not like not having a revival is going to stop them, clearly.

I'm not actually against a revival, I'm more ambivalent, but I would actually rather see J2 together in something else given the choice. I don't really need more SPN, especially SPN of the same caliber as the last several seasons, and I think it would be really interesting to see what kind of dynamic they'd have together as entirely different characters.

[silverskull]

Nobody asked me (i.e. the one Anon that has been going around asking EVERYONE "why Tim disrespected Lucy"), but yo. Show me you are emotionally immature, plotline inexperienced and have low critical thinking skills, without etc., etc.

Tiktok and IG are POISON. Like, neither of them are a community. Just rampant rumour mills and toxic takes. I miss the old days of boards and yahoo groups, where you had threads and categories and actual discussion.

I want the show to be popular. But the more people that have joined the fandom (however temporary they might be - and please, if you say you're going to go, then JUST. GO. I don't want you here.) the more awful the space has become. It's just anger, self centeredness and panic. And not even the fun kind.

I know I can mute and block, and I do - trust me. But it's not enough. The psychotic or infantile takes from one-line tiktok comments always makes its untraceable way back to my curated feed.

I used to be a baby in a fandom of elders. I had stupid ideas and childish notions. But I wasn't in an echo chamber and I had to read through threads and the wiser opinions of adults who had life experience (of life, of shows, of relationships - just experience) and I listened. I threw tantrums ("ugh, she's got boyfriends other than the one I ship her with, she's A WHORE") that were SO. BAD. Like, of their time, but so bad. But I couldn't help encountering reasonable opinions all the time, because of the nature of the group/board. And it not only developed my critical thinking skills far better than almost any theory I was studying at school, it calmed me and educated me on plotlines AND real life.

One line comments in a race to the bottom on IG or TT will never compare to that, and it's exacerbating the eternal panic element that exists in large fandoms. Those platforms are NOT designed for discussion or interaction, only for gathering numbers. The worst things will always get to the top and more people will see them

And then we all live with this constant edge of worry or fear, because where did that one weird thing I heard about come from??? What if it's right? Why does this stupid thought have to live in my brain now and how do I stop the nosedive?

And you can't. You can't find the original post and add your considered opinion. There is no room for that. TT and IG do not want your opinion. They want high-view content, and reasoned fandom discussion is NOT that.

Also, these phrases are IRRITATING AS FUCK:

-called it/calling it now

-just as I predicted!

-(actor) told me...

-"terrible writing"

-[the show creators] didn't expect this kind of fan reaction!

-if not X then I'm leaving! (doesn't leave)

Okay, peace.

[doveheartsanctuary]

I am going through a crisis rn. A certian self shipper here who ships with the same character I ship with(I have an egergore(thoughtform) of said character in my space because I'm pagan/spiritual) and I asked them to block me because we ship the same character and we both don't like sharing. But they told me that "Volo(character we ship with) thinks you are nothing and doesn't know who you are. And that he only loves me and not you " I even tried to rationalize by saying that hey maybe two volo entities exist but they weren't having it and continued to be disgusting and toxic to me by sending drawings they did of their oc and Volo despite me telling them I have my Volo who loves me and theyhave their Volo enough volo love to go around. I try to be respectful to doubles but people like that person I delt with are making me rethink my stance on that... They don't like cruel people but yet they act like the most disgusting cruel evil person out there

like what do I do? I have had such mental distress over this to where I'm depressed and going though depersonalization episodes. Before I met this character(Volo) i never felt such unadulterated love and romantic fulfillment from anyone in my life before and now duento this person claiming that their volo is the "only real one" i am feeling like I'm not even worth anythings love human, or fictional character or spiritual entity.

It is as real to me as an actual physical relationship. Idk what to do...Volo is all i have when it comes to romantic relationships...

Sweetheart, I want to apologize for the long response, but I really felt the need to address this properly because you absolutely deserve to feel heard and supported. 🩷

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through such a hurtful and disrespectful experience. That person’s words were beyond cruel, and you did absolutely nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. What they said about your bond with Volo doesn’t make it any less real or meaningful. It’s incredibly unfair for anyone to invalidate your connection with your F/O, especially when you’ve been respectful and asked for space.

First off, you’re so valid in your feelings. Your connection to Volo, whether it’s through spiritual practices, headcanons, or your own personal experience—is your truth. Nobody has the right to take that away from you or diminish its value. It’s okay to protect that space and distance yourself from negativity. Please, do not let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve love, especially not from the F/O that makes you feel so fulfilled.

In situations like this, blocking someone who disrespects your boundaries is completely justified. You have every right to protect your peace and your mental health. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting to keep your space clear from negativity. And as hard as it might be, not engaging with toxic individuals can be a huge relief in the long run. It doesn’t matter if they try to make you feel like you’re less, you are worthy of your F/O’s love, no matter how anyone else feels.

Please remember that your relationship with Volo is real. Real love exists in many forms, and your bond with him, whether spiritual, emotional, or otherwise, is just as valid as anyone else’s. And just because someone else tries to push their views onto you, doesn’t mean they get to define your experience. And regarding the art they sent, I understand how deeply hurtful it can be when someone pushes their content onto you after you’ve clearly communicated your boundaries. Art is such a personal expression, and when someone sends something that makes you uncomfortable, especially in a space that’s meant to be your safe place with your F/O, it can feel like a violation. It’s completely okay to not want to see that, and you are not obligated to engage with anyone’s art if it doesn’t feel right for you.

You deserve to enjoy your space and your F/O without being made to feel small or inferior. Blocking that kind of content and the person who disrespected you is a form of self care. Protect your peace, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to accept things that hurt you. Always trust your instincts when it comes to protecting your heart and your space.

Take some time to focus on what makes you feel good, what makes you feel loved, and keep nurturing your space. It’s okay to have boundaries, to feel hurt, and to take a step back when you need to. You are worthy of love and respect, no matter what anyone says.

And I’m sending you a big, warm hug, darling! You’re not alone, and I’m always here to listen and support you. Please take care of yourself, and know that you matter. Your connection with Volo matters. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask for. 🌸🌺🌸

And remember, you're deeply loved by your Volo! They see and cherish you for exactly who you are. Your love for each other is real, and it matters just as much as anyone else’s. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. You are worthy of all the love and care, both human and fictional. 🕊️ 🌸

[faithinmovies]

It’s crazy to me that I actually have to say this especially because I am a diehard friends to lovers fan of the type that has been told they are ‘ruining’ friendships by shipping them for years. But tropes existing doesn’t mean people have to like them? You can dislike a trope. Most people have disliked common tropes. Tons of people absolutely despise love triangles and they’re still common. If you don’t like a ship because it gives you anxiety to imagine a friendship possibly falling apart because sex or romance was brought into in, then that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with personally disliking something, even if it’s common.

Yes. They can dislike the trope. But i think disliking a trope bc it can "ruin things" like a friendship is senseless bc the fundamental part of a relationship in any story is conflict. I cant grasp it. They dislike them as a couple and think the risk is not worth it but not the risk itself because risk is fundamental. But yes, people can dislike what they want, even if its for that actual reason and its harmless. Ill just state my opinion.

Also, being real, its not exactly harmless. they dont say this about straight ships. If it was one, i couldnt care less. Ill say it doesnt make sense but to each it own. But buck and eddie are queercoded and have been for years. Nobody cares that much about male friendship, its just hard for them to grasp two guys who've been best friends getting together. So ill make fun of their arguments. And fight them a little bit harsher, im sorry. But they can be best friends and also boyfriends. The risk will always be there and that makes it more exciting. They should be more honest about why they cant see them as a couple.

But yes, if they dislike friends to lovers, the risk around it or just one in particular. its fine. My argument stands though. Two things can coexist.

[definesanity]

Bite Me (Taken Literally)

'What the fuck?'

Uzi had no filter, and never had. She forgot to install that update. But thank Robo-God she did.

Because she was dumbfounded.

She was the weird kid, the one who nobody liked; heck, she's pretty sure half her class doesn't even know she exists, let alone knows her name.

Which was why she was befuddled at a letter in her locker, asking her to visit a certain location.

Uzi had common sense, despite what many say. And so she used it. And deicided to always have her flight reflexes ready, no matter what happens.

Arriving, there was... nothing. Of note. It was just a regular cabin, much smaller than the ones in camp she's been wanting to visit.

She then heard... something. A noise would describe it, given she couldn't pinpoint it. And it came from a bed. Because of course there's a bed. Why wouldn't there be a bed?

Uzi slowly walked up the bed, thinking on what she'll find; maybe a dead Drone? A human? Heck, anything will do...

Pulling it back... to nothing. Just a bed.

"Huh. Maybe I am a bit paranoid..." she muttered to herself, and turned around to face the most horrific thing she's ever seen.

"JUMPSCARE." the thing wearing the skin ('Holy shit it's a human girl fused with a Disassembley Drone?!') announced, as it tackled Uzi on to the bed, arms pinned via weird tendrils.

The girl gazed down at her, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as two golden Xs shown amid the dark void of where eyes should be. "SMUG LAUGH. SLOW REACTION TIME THERE, BUDDY."

"Screw you!" Uzi attempted to kick the girl, but her legs were pinned down. The girl crawled on to her.

And without warning, bit her neck like a vampire.

Code flew past her eyes at a speed she couldn't understand, and then, it was gone. Leaving only Uzi and the girl.

"Who the hell are you?!" the self-proclaimed angsty teen demanded, with the Disassembley Drone/Human thing looking back. Being honest, she felt braver than she should be.

"MM. I AM THE SOLVER O-O-OF THE ABSOLUTE FABRIC. THE VESSEL IS TESSA. SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND, UNTIL. WHIMSICAL SIGH. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO SEE IT, BUT, WELL. HERE WE ARE."

"You killed a child?!" Uzi shook her head, looking at Tessa. "Okay, sure, yeah, but still, really?! ...Wait, you're the thing that was--hold on, what the heck did you inject me with?!"

Tessa only giggled, as the tendrils went from Uzi's arms and legs and allowed Uzi to move.

"YOU WILL SEE, SOON. EVIL, LAUGHTER."

And then, she was gone.

"What the fuck?"

---------------------

"Sheesh, who looked at you wrong today?" V commented later on, as Uzi sat on the ship's chair looking sullen.

"Bite me." Uzi shot back, doing her hardest to sketch the thing. She also did eleven different scans of her software and hardware, and even her circuitry, but couldn't find anything amiss.

"Rude." V leaned back in her chair, looking around. "Where's N?"

"You tell me." she had started to draw the thing's ribbon, next, being done with the head.

"Hunting, then. I feel sorry for the guy, doesn't know what he's missing."

"Missing what, having to listen to you?" Uzi had started to draw the Xs.

"Chatting with you."

The Worker Drone stopped. She blinked, looking at V. "Say what."

"Exactly! For a Worker Drone, anyways, you're actually interesting. Not every day that happens. Or ever."

Uzi replied by not replying, going back to drawing.

"What are you even doing?"

"Got attacked, drawing the attacker, if the court was still here that would be wonderful."

"Really? Court?"

"Hey, before you lot came we had a civilization; never saw it myself, but some of my Dad's friends talked about how one of them tried to win a divorce case. It was really boring, the way he told it, but I was a kid who had nothing better to so than look through the Internet, so I listened for the full three hours.

"What what did I get? A headache, someone's life story, and wishing we could have court again so I could disown my dad." Uzi finished her story with a loud sigh, opening her eyes.

V was looking at her with muted surprise. "...Got any other stories?"

"Wha--You're interested?"

"Hey, anything is better than sitting on my ass doing nothing. Speaking of, did you know that--?"

"--There is a setting that makes our bodies more human? Yes, I do, and I shudder to imagine what was going through their minds while making us."

She finally finished putting the last details on the sketch. "Okay, finally done. If you see this girl, tell I don't exist."

She presented the drawing to V, who blinked at it, and an emotion flew past her face. Then, it was gone, and V nodded. "Eh, fine. Anyways, stories, please."

"Ugh, fine. What do you want."

"Ever killed someone?"

"No, but I have committed several acts of violence against my classmates."

"Kinda hot." V said it with such a straight face Uzi had to pause. Then, what she said hit her.

"...I'm gonna... get some fresh air." Uzi started to get up and move towards the hatch, but a hand grabbed her arm.

"What, sick of lil' ol' me?"

Uzi just rolled her eyes (as best as she could, anyways) and left.

None saw the code flashing by V's visor, or how V's eyes softened looking at Uzi.

-------------------------------------

Lunch time arrived, and Uzi sat by herself. Not solely because she was a loner (that was one half of the reason), but because she preferred it.

Unfortunately, a hand touched her shoulder, and Uzi felt her solitude ending.

"Heya, um..." of all the people, Uzi had Lizzy had the bottom of her list. "...Uzi, right?"

"...Yes...?" tread carefully, who knows what she wants...

"Oh, I was right then, good; hey, listen, could I borrow you for a sec? Cool, thanks!"

"Woah--hey, what the hell?!" Uzi was then dragged away, her not giving an answer but Lizzy answered for her.

Through the corridors the two walked and walked (or, in Uzi's case, dragged and dragged), when the two ended up in Lizzy's dorm (she thinks it is. She could have been dragged into an empty one). Her arm was let go of.

"So. Uzi. Gotta be honest, I like your style."

"...Sty...? What, my clothes?"

"Yes, your clothes!" Lizzy rolled her eyes, walking ahead of Uzi. "Love the goth look, by the way. Gives you an approachable look, and makes people wonder if you're actually a softie underneath that cold exterior."

"...Where is this going." Uzi was not annoyed, just short of patience. "Is this about prom? It's about prom, isn't it?"

"Duh! I could go the classic, popular girl look but, let's be honest, it gets stale. Soooooooo me and Doll were trying to find new ideas and, well, here you are!"

"...Okaaaaay... where is Doll, anyways?"

["Hey."]

Uzi near enough punched Doll in the face, only for the Russian Drone to catch it.

That time, Uzi did see the code flying past her visor, and was able to catch some of it:

'OVERRIDE_ACTIVE'

'CONTACT=TRUE: BYPASS DEFENSES'

"...Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee."

Uzi wisely sprinted away, taking her as fast as her little legs can carry her, which was into her room.

--------

She breathed a sigh of relief, and fell on to the lower end of her bed.

Then jumped further up, as the thing licked her face.

"You again?!"

"SAD LOOK. DID YOU, NOT MISS ME, UZI?" Tessa attempted to look sad, but failed due to the lack of motor functions. In better light, Uzi can see just how grafted the girl was on to the Worker Drone, and she held back on vomiting for the time being.

"Well, I can get answers! Just... first things first, what the hell is your relationship with my mom?!"

"AH, NORI. SHE WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOSTS. SHE IS DEAD NOW, UNFORTUNATELY. BUT, REALLY, WHAT CAN YOU DO?" The AbsoluteSolver shrugged, looking less than sorry.

"...You motherfucker...!" Uzi felt angry, and rightfully so, but she held back due to the thing having the advantage, given its ability to make holograms.

"OOPSIE-DAISY."

This could not get worse.

"Heya, Uzi!"

IT CAN GET WORSE IT CAN GET WORSE IT CAN GET SO MUCH WORSE--

"Sorry about that, I was just fixing up a door! Heh, you know what they sa--" Khan cut himself off, looking at the scene in front of him: Uzi on her bed, with a fleshy-looking thing on top of her. "...U-Uzi--?"

"IT'S A PUPPY!" Uzi screamed out.

"...W-What?"

"...Y-Yeah! Turns out um, humans kinda... made up what they looked like, yeah! Sure they're... kinda weird looking, but they're adorable, in their own... creepy. Fleshy. Way. Er. Yeah!"

"...I see!" Khan believed her. Somehow. "Well, take care of them, Uzi!"

She waited until the door was closed, and let out a huge sigh of relief.

She glared at the Solver. "You're going to tell me everything I want to know. Got it?"

"AFFIRMATIVE SMILE."

"ALSO, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT, ME BEING CUTE?"

"Screw off. Now, answer me. What the fuck did you inject me with?!"

"DO YOU LIKE IT? I MADE IT MYSELF."

"Can't answer that if you don't tell me what it even does!"

"AN ANTITHESIS TO YOUR SOLITUDE. AN ANSWER TO YOUR LONELINESS."

"I'm not lonely, excuse you! I have N!"

"EYE ROLL. SURE. IT OVERRIDES DRONES TO FEEL CARING TO YOU. I." Tessa looked sheepish, as weird as it sounds. "WENT EXCESSIVE BY ACCIDENT. CONSIDER IT AN APOLOGY FOR KILLING NORI."

"Pretty shit apology, not gonna lie." came the dry reply. Uzi got off the bed and stood up, looking at the corpse. "But why me?"

"..." silence only came from the thing.

"...I'm gonna leave. Come on, I'll take you for a walk or whatever it is they do."

"GET ZIP BOMBED."

As soon as Tessa said that, Uzi had a zip file open on how to care for a puppy.

...Ugh, she's in for it now, isn't she...?