#No manipulation; no clever trick. Not something he can just *repeat* easily

[tswwwit]

I want a bill whump so bad, if dipper falls in love with bill every time he reincarnates but hes also a little bit different in every reincarnation, could there be one where hes almost entirely replused by bill, or already in love with someone else?

We all love to see that terrible little man struggling! Typically hurting Bill is accomplished via Dipper-death, but this is a neat alternate scenario. You know he's definitely going to start out totally full of himself! Winning his husband back should be easy! Until he realizes he has no idea how he did it in the first place.

[aazel-art]

End of Ep. 6

That last look Aziraphale gives Crowley.

After the Metatron drops the 'second coming' bombshell. When Aziraphale looks back at Crowley that last time, he's working to conceal the movement.

Maybe you read that as a guarded 'we just had a fight and I don't want you to see how much i care' look.

Or

The look of an angel who just realized the dangerous game he's about to have to play in order to get back to Crowley. A look, trying to repeat what he said with the bullet trick.

"You said trust me."

"And you did."

Both season 1 and 2 continuously emphasize Aziraphale's tendency to realize, nearly a fraction too late, the grey between the black and white.

Aziraphale was just told that the end of the world is still heaven's game plan. A plan he is expected to carry out, which goes against at least one clear line he's been able to draw with Crowley. He has been manipulated by the Metatron into this position that he can not refuse.

When Aziraphale steps into the elevator, the expression of the Metatron is not one of a battle easily won. He can tell Aziraphale's alleagence was a narrow victory. That he is not going to be an easy pawn. That he'll need to keep a close eye on his new supreme archangel.

On the way Up, Aziraphale is planning. Preparing for a role.

Crowley may be unable to see past the rejection right now, but in this moment he's watching Aziraphale. Closely. Through the pain. And he knows Aziraphale. When he's bored, when he wants to brag about being clever, and when something is wrong.

He's just got to trust.

[naffeclipse]

Naff! I'm finally catching up on stuff and I just read "Let's play a game" ! I didn't realize how much I missed the SJ world until I was back at reading about it haha!

And omg, Naff, it bears repeating that you are such a master of suspense. I was at the edge of my seat the whole chapter, the anticipation building up so naturally but constantly. I keep being amazed of how well you can swap the voice of your narration, having come from the supernatural tone of Cryptid Sightings, to the Noir feeling in SJ. God I want to describe it but it's just everything about it, you know? The playfulness of the Vigilante, the heavy atmosphere of the illegal gambling place, the untold words and understandings between y/n and the detectives. And that's just the execution!

Getting into the story, I just love how easily the thought process of the vigilante makes me smile. How they just secured a good amount of money from one of their steals to be able to get to another of their objectives and how even though the relationship with the detectives is no longer regarded as a game, there is no way when they are working together for them not to play a little with them.

And, oh gosh, the antagonist for this one! Kravette is such a good character! Having Eclipse as the main untouchable Mafia Boss, such a huge symbol of power and violence, made me think it would be hard to make any character feel as a big threat to the main trio because, well, you already have a character analysis on some of the first few asks I sent you, haha, I don't want to repeat myself XD But boy did Kravette bring so much with her! Eclipse probably didn't have many problems against her, but I can definitely see her as one of the main competitors for the throne now that he's gone!

Her focus is not so much on having information and everyone under her thumb but on people making the mistake to deal with her, and that's represented in both her gambling business and the loan shark one. She disguises her ploys as fun and helpfulness, even hiding herself in plain sight, instead of the more direct approach of offering power that Eclipse had, which was also way more showy.

I like also how she shares some motivations with him, as she seems of the same mentality of "I was used, so I will use everyone else so that I can never be used myself again". Though, in contrast to him, she really is also very into her role as a player. I was very surprised by how against cheating she was, since she did let them all go. Not to say she doesn't have her tricks, trying to ruin everyone's pockerfaces with her comments and casual flirting. The detectives were attacked with the threat of their vigilante being taken away in a dangerous deja vu of a situation, AND had their recently deceased brother thrown in their faces too with all the complicated emotions that brings (even if this last one probably Kravette was unaware of), and the vigilante had some bad memories of someone trying to force them to do something, and the fact that the detectives were being targeted because of them. She plays fair, obeying her own rules, but she definitely plays dirty too.

Too bad y/n doesn't care to obey rules they don't like, be it from a game or a legal standpoint ha! Which by the way, such a clever use of a red herring with that Ace up their sleeve! Y/n really is a lucky one, but I adore that their luck is also manipulated by them, manufacturing the perfect situation to be able to take risks. I imagine that now that they are a solid team, knowing the detectives much better helps as well, as the boys are every bit capable of keeping up with their improvisation~

Also I had to laugh at the end there XD The detectives all disgruntled about what just happened and vigilante just goes, hmmm, what if I remind them how cool and sexy I am, and then it works. Pair of simps right there kjghfsdj Who can blame them though?

Ahhhh, anyways that was a great chapter and I'm excited to keep catching up! :D

Ahhh, Chaotik!! That melts my heart, ahh, I love to hear that ♥ You're so sweet, thank you so much!! Atmosphere and tone are huge parts of what I strive to craft better so I'm glad it's working! ♥

Oh yeah, just because they're all in it together now doesn't mean the vigilante isn't gonna keep up the teases with their two favorite detectives!

Kravette was so much fun to write and get into her headspace, so I'm happy you enjoyed her appearance! It was a bit of a challenge to craft a new antagonist, who, you know, could stand apart from Eclipse in their own right, but she's playing with the big boys for a reason. She sets the rules once someone engages, and if her opponent doesn't play by them, then she wins. That's exactly it. She knows how to play dirty within her own rules, so she crafts a perfect way for her to win every time (almost hehe). She is one of the rare few that sticks to her word. A very old-school sort of honor, but she holds herself to it. That's not to say she can't read others well and exploit the weaknesses she finds ('flirting' with Detective Sun right in front of Y/N). It was a pretty tense poker game, all things considered!

If only Kravette wasn't going up against the vigilante themselves hehe now in synch with the detectives, the three of them are one mean crime-fighting machine!

PFFFT Y/N just does one hair flip and is just "You love me guys so much, you love me so bad" and the detectives can't even argue alsjdfalsdf

Aw, thank you so much for reading, babe!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

[teawaffles]

The Adventures of John: Chapter 4, Part 2

TW // Mention of abuse

Also, a note for language.

Without even an opportunity for Laura to resist, Sherlock pulled his hand out — and revealed a gorgeous necklace. It wasn’t as if John could remember that necklace itself, but from its elegant sparkle, he judged that it’d been one of the items from their flat.

The despair on Laura’s face only deepened. Beside her, the detective spoke.

“This was stolen from my flat. Since the jewellery was in such a mess, you probably thought it wouldn’t look amiss if just one piece went missing — but that was naive of you,” he said. “Because I have a full grasp of everything that was put there.”

When Laura arrived at their flat, Sherlock had made a show of being indifferent to her request, while making sure that she had taken one of the stolen goods.

To have fully comprehended that chaos — John marvelled at the strength of Sherlock’s memory. During the conversation in the flat, he had persisted in looking out the window, away from Laura: that must’ve been to create a deliberate opening, and test if the girl would help herself to the pile.

Laura had stolen a piece of jewellery from their apartment. Moreover, she’d made up the request to find Dolly. Inevitably, from the two points above, it followed that her goal from the start had been to steal the jewellery. Hence, it formed definite proof that she was one of the thieves’ accomplices.

Confronted by that irreversible reality, Laura was stunned. As for the man, his eyes went bloodshot from anger.

“Y-You’ve gotta be kidding me, you good-for-nothing……. I told you to do it without exposing us—”

Hearing that, Sherlock piped up in a cool voice.

“Shall I take that as a confession? Though, there is still the argument that this kid Laura here is just another one of you vagrants, and you guys have nothing to do with the ring of thieves.”

The man spat on the ground.

“Hmph, I’ve no interest flogging that argument anymore. ——Let’s settle this the fast way.”

Saying that, he drew a small revolver from his pocket, and levelled it at Sherlock. Following suit, a few men among the group also whipped out knives and guns. The remaining crowd cried out softly in fear.

“If we dispatch the both of you right here, the truth’ll remain buried, eh?”

At that unsettling line, his armed accomplices also broke into twisted smiles.

But despite being held at gunpoint, Sherlock seemed particularly unmoved. He observed their actions, and narrated his own view.

“From the looks of it, you lot are the ringleaders, while the rest seem to have been threatened into compliance.”

“Yeah: with just a little bit of a beating, they’ll do anything we ask,” the man smirked.

But Sherlock was calm as he replied.

“From that, I gather not all of you are friends. And seeing how you resort to violence to settle things right away: you’re probably a hoodlum accustomed to crime, aren’t ya?”

“Hoodlum? You’re not wrong, but call us a group of clever thieves if you can. After all, I’ve skilfully manipulated these scum and carried out some brilliant thefts.”

Drunk on his own accomplishments, the man threw a glance at Laura. She hadn’t budged from where she stood; protecting her head, she cowered on the ground in sheer terror. From that, one could easily imagine what maltreatment she and the others had suffered at the hands of these thugs.

His heart filled with rage, John glared at the man.

“That means you forced them to commit crimes, didn’t you?”

“Call it making effective use of them, Doctor Watson,” he drawled. “These people all live on a pittance of a daily income. No one would care if they’re gone. I’ve given them a rather fine job until now, but this time, she just had to screw up. ——As I thought, brats are useless after all!”

“……I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

He shouted at Laura, and she repeated that apology over and over as she sobbed.

“You……”

“John, you’re right to be angry, but please calm down.”

At the unforgivable sight before him, the detective’s assistant had balled his hands into fists, but Sherlock persuaded him to keep his cool.

“Ah…… Sorry to get back to the topic, but let me give you some clarity on this case.”

“Huh?”

As before, Sherlock’s demeanour lacked any sort of tension, and his opponent frowned. But the detective paid no heed to that as he continued.

“To sum up the story thus far: the bunch of louts brandishing their weapons here are the ringleaders behind the thefts, and the other vagrants and street merchants were forcibly…… ‘used’, if I were to borrow your words?”

“Yeah, that’s right. You could say that they’re all expendables to be exploited as I please. To have so skilfully manipulated them — I bet my abilities rival those of that rumoured ‘Lord of Crime’ or something.”

“……Well.”

At that name, Sherlock’s eye twitched. But he showed no further reaction than that as he replied.

“In other words, to you guys, their names and faces aren’t even worth remembering?”

“That’s an odd way to put it, but exactly. They’re all disposable — do you really think I can remember all of them? ……That said, how long are you gonna keep prattling on like that? I don’t know if you’re just trying to buy time, but it’s time for you to die.”

Running out of patience, the man broke off their conversation, and moved to pull the trigger: fully intending to shoot the detective and his assistant.

However, Sherlock’s smile remained bold as ever.

“——That’s it then. I’ve gotten your word.”

That instant, John couldn’t believe his eyes.

Among the crowd of vagrants, the ones who were shrouded in hoods — separate from the ringleaders — were now aiming guns at the criminals.

“……Huh?”

“——Don’t move.”

One of the mysterious figures commanded sternly, keeping his gun trained on the lead criminal. Stunned by this sudden development, the man complied; and with his other hand, the figure slowly drew back his hood.

“……Inspector Lestrade?”

Out of sheer astonishment, John murmured the person's name.

The man in the hood, was Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard. Facing the lead criminal, he spoke in a determined voice.

“From the conversation earlier, it’s clear that you have threatened the poor and coerced them into crime. I’ll hear the details at the station. Don’t even think about resisting.”

Then, the other figures removed their hoods and revealed their faces. One after the other, they confiscated the weapons from the stunned hoodlums. Though they weren’t wearing uniforms, from their practised actions, it was clear that they were police officers.

“W-What the devil is going on……?”

Tonight had been a night of many surprises for this detective. John was yet unable to wrap his head around the situation, and once again, he asked himself a question he’d thought about countless times today.

“Everything’s exactly as you’ve witnessed, John. When I identified this place, I contacted Lestrade at the same time, then got the officers to disguise themselves as tramps and hide among the crowd.”

“But why?”

“If I’d just called in the Yard as usual, we wouldn’t have been able to identify the ringleaders among this large a crowd.”

Sherlock stated that conclusion in brief, then began to explain.

“As I thought about the thieves’ actions, I judged that there was probably a mastermind separate from the ones committing the actual crimes, who was controlling them from behind the scenes. Hence, there was a need to identify this mastermind; but even if the Yard were to round up the entire group of vagrants, like what that ruffian told me earlier, they could just say that they had no relation to the ring of thieves — and that would be the end of it. Moreover, it still wasn’t clear who the ringleaders were, and the ring members who were being threatened would’ve likely been warned not to blab. So, in order to smoke out the ringleaders and elicit a confession, I added a bit of an act.”

Then, the detective looked at Lestrade, and the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

“——Well, about the disguises: I’d thought about where the police squad could hide themselves, and decided it would be better for them to mingle with the crowd, so they wouldn’t have to sneak about all weirdly.”

“W-Wha— What a stupid……”

Upon hearing the truth, the man’s earlier triumphant attitude had devolved into a disgraceful, incredulous one. This time, Sherlock laughed out loud.

“Sure, you can make people follow you, but you’ll also have to keep tabs on them properly. In the first place, when this location was discovered, didn’t it occur to you that I would call in the Yard? You can pretend to be a mastermind, but with your lack of foresight, even the Lord of Crime would laugh.”

“S……Shite.”

“Oi, watch what you say from here on. It’ll be used as evidence against you in court.”

Lestrade warned the man as he clapped him in irons; accepting his defeat, he hung his head bitterly. For a villain who’d exploited people in poverty, and boasted of rivalling the Lord of Crime: it was a downright dreadful ending.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“I’ll always be in your debt, Holmes. And the same goes for you, Dr Watson.”

As he watched the arrested criminals being taken away, Lestrade thanked the detective duo.

However, in contrast to the inspector’s earnest attitude, Sherlock put a hand over his mouth as he tried to suppress his laughter.

“Lestrade. Sorry for saying this when you’re being so serious, but…… you looked surprisingly good as a tramp.”

“H-Hey! That’s rude, Sherlock!”

“By Jove, Sherlock……”

John chided the detective, and Lestrade let out an astonished sigh.

“……Anyway, I’m grateful for your help in resolving this case.”

“Yeah, let me know when you have another interesting mystery next time.”

After that simple exchange, the inspector left to join the other police officers.

Then, Laura — the central figure from today — and an old woman from among the vagrants walked over to them.

“——U-Um, Dr Watson.”

The girl stood right before John. She bit her lip, and sank into a deep bow.

“I’m so sorry for tricking you!”

Laura blurted that out in a loud voice. Then, the old woman also bowed solemnly.

Met with their sincere apologies, John spoke up in a kind voice.

“It’s alright. You had no choice — all of you were being threatened.”

“B-But…… I……”

“Don’t worry about it. In any case, won’t it be tough for you all from here on?”

With a start, Laura realised what he meant, and dropped her gaze. Though they had been coerced into thievery, it was still a fact that they had broken the law. Hence, in order to furnish the details to the Yard, all of them would be taken in for questioning.

The atmosphere turned slightly gloomy, and Sherlock piped up.

“You don’t have to be so serious about it, y’know. Seeing as all of you had been forced into those crimes, the Yard’ll treat you more leniently.”

“Y-You’re right.”

John knew that Sherlock was deliberately being optimistic, in an effort not to worry them both. Hence, though it was a little awkward, John agreed with him.

Perhaps the matter wasn’t as simple as Sherlock had described, but the events from now on would be out of their hands entirely. Hoping that Lestrade would speak well in their defence, John changed the topic somewhat forcibly.

“……By the way, is this lady a relative of yours?”

Hearing that, Laura brightened up, and introduced the old woman.

“Yes, she’s my grandmother; we’ve been making a living together selling food.”

“Truly, please accept my sincere apologies for what happened.”

Hearing the old woman’s husky voice, John finally understood the awkward exchange he had witnessed between them at the park. Seeing as they were family, it was only natural for Laura to be more relaxed around her; moreover, the old woman’s faltering tone had surely been due to her guilt at deceiving him.

John nodded in understanding. Then, Laura took out a small pouch.

“That and this…… Here’s the full amount we’ve taken from you, Dr Watson. Please accept it.”

“Ah, I see. I’d forgotten all about the money. Thank you.”

John was about to reach for the pouch, when all of a sudden, a thought struck him — and he stopped.

“……Um, is something the matter?”

Seeing him freeze up, Laura tilted her head. Then, John withdrew his hand, and instead held up the bag full of items he’d bought from the street merchants.

“‘Taken’? What’re you saying? I bought these of my own accord. I can’t see any issues with them, so I’ve no intention of getting a refund.”

“……Eh?”

“Isn’t that right? I negotiated properly with the merchants in the parks, and bought these items as a customer. There was no trickery at all.”

John asserted that proudly, and beside him, he heard Sherlock chuckle.

Of course, what John said was by no means a show of bravado that he hadn’t been tricked. Laura had been moved by his kindness throughout the day; in an instant, she sensed the emotions imbued in his words. But even so, she knitted her brows, looking troubled.

“Still, I really should return this to you.”

She then offered him the pouch again, but John gently pushed it away.

“Laura, in all honesty, the walnuts your grandmother sold me were delicious. For products that good, it’s only right that I pay a fair price for them.”

His smile was full of warmth as he continued.

“If I happen to see your stall again, I’ll be sure to buy from you.”

“Dr Watson……”

This time, Laura did not press the matter.

She held the pouch as if it were a treasure, and her face brimmed with smiles.

“——Alright. When we see each other again, I’ll be sure to prepare lots of walnuts for you.”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to that.”

Then, John bade goodbye to Laura and her grandmother; and with his “loot” in hand, he left the scene with Sherlock.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Lena Retrospective: The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck! or Why Does Lena’s Darkest Hour Have a WACKKKYY Bigfoot Subplot?

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Shadow Into Light, my look back the LIfe and Times of Lena Sabrewing. And we’re almost at the end of season 1. Woo-Ooo!. While i’ll have more season 1 episodes to cover for it’s sister arc, this is the last episode in this arc before the finale.. and i’m happy to repeat that next week will be DUCK WEEK as a result, finsihing up this arc and the Della arcs, as well as dipping into season 2 a bit for Lena’s return to celebrate the finale of this wonderful show. Full disclosure: I didn’t PLAN for it this way, I assumed the show would be ending in April, but sometimes serendipity just works out for you. So pitter pat er, let’s get at er.

 When we last left off Webby went on a wild duck chase for her grandma in England and 87!Webby befriended that version of Magica’s niece and told off a grown woman masquerading as a child because her husband likes being called “Daddy”. When we last left the plot proper though, we learned Lena just wanted to be free, and was willing to do whatever it took, and Magica was getting more abusive and more impatient. And if you thought the end to Jaw$! was pretty sad and dark.... strap in and steel yourself as we take a look at one of the darkest episodes in the series.

The opening sets the stage perfectly as we’re in Scrooge’s Room in the middle of the night, when Lena comes in.. with a knife. 

Naturally she dosen’t have baked goods, but instead is trying to cut the knife from around his neck while Magica won’t shut up while she works and keeps distracting her and BLAMING her for getting distracted. As for the knife it’s glowing and mystic because naturally, Scrooge doesn’t trust just ANY string but a magically woven one to hold his dime. Unlucky for her her girlfriend walks in at the exact moment she’s standing over her idol holding a mystical knife. I don’t think hallmark makes a card for “Sorry I was lying to you for months for my abusive aunt to earn my freedom and then looked like I was about to slit your uncle’s throat. I love you though. “ Yet. 

Scrooge starts to stir so Webby pulls Lena out of there and back to her room... and flashes a lamp on her to interrogate her. Lena is able to bounce back, asking “what were you doing there”. Which NORMALLY wouldn’t last more than two minutes.. but since Webby was there to get Drool samples, maybe she wants to clone him I mean she does know a guy I think the why is something we’d rather not know about, Webby herself was a bit suspcious and Lena uses her starkerish ways to say she’d also gotten into being a Scrooge fangirl. This also allows her to ask about the dime.. but since Scrooge never takes it off, that means they have no access and both Lena and Magica are stuck watching Webby’s long presentation on Scrooge’s life story. I mean personally i’d love to see this in it’s full probably 8 hour glory but I’m not trying to earn my freedom or stuck as a shadow monster. 

It was then when watching the episode this morning.. I was reminded it had a subplot. And the instant I saw Dewey folding Louie’s shirts... I started to piece together it was the bigfoot one. 

As you can tell i’m not a fan of this subplot. It has a good core idea, riffing on “kid takes home sasquatch films” like Cry Wilderness, Big and Harry and of course the one that started it all, Harry and the Hendersons. 

It’s just bogged down by one really obnoxious trait that trips it up and is in the wrong episode entirely. We’ll get to that first scene and the plot as a whole in a moment we just need the setup in the a-story first: Scrooge privately conferring with Beakly, which Magica snoops on. While Lena didn’t get far at all in cutting the rope of his dime, she still left a knick and the fact someone got into his house, let alone his bedroom and got THAT far, means SOMETHING bad is afoot. So while he looks for it he’s putting the dime in the Other Bin for safekeeping. We’ll find out what that is in moment. For now 

Let’s Get This Stupid Sasquatch Plot Over With

We open with Louie having conned Dewey into folding his stuff for the “world laundry folding record”. I mean.. it’s greasy but I gotta respect game here. And it’s not actively harming anyone. Though we do find out from an irate Huey he’s done far worse, if in a hilarious way with Louie’s Kids, his obviously fake charity he uses to get money out of Donald. And so far into it, as Huey hid something he had in the closet and offered to Fix Louie’s stretched out hoodie, the reason he was mad at Dewey, I didn’t get why I hated it before. I wondered why I was so annoyed. Same when Huey while carrying Louie’s hoodies hears his uncle looking for something in the mansion. 

Turns out he’s got a bigfoot hiding in their closet, that he found injured int he woods and brought back and all that good kid finding a mythical creature stuff. Dewey of course loves him on first sight and both want to keep him. But unlike most of these sorts of things where the creature’s damage to the room and what not is played off or the sibling doesn’t know, Louie does see it and isn’t happy about it and only agrees to hide the furry bastard because his brothers blackmail him with his schemes, and refuse to feel sorry for him as the creatures antics continue, including drinking Louie’s special pep and eating his snacks. 

And this is where one of the plots two major issues crops up: The way Dewey and Huey act. Both just ignore any damage wooly foot does, any discomfort to Louie and any obvious downsides of this. Now Dewey being clinginly attached to a majestic creature he found and wanting to keep it? Fits perfectly, and him being mean to louie fits because louie tricked him. Huey however.. is horribly out of character, as while I could see him being charmed at first and not wanting his uncle to hunt his new friend.. he’s not an impractical boy. He’d of tried to get his new friend to the woods first thing because it’s where he’s safest from scrooge and his foot has healed. He’s also a Woodchuck and I can’t imagine the JWG says it’s okay to keep a wild animal person as a pet basically. None of it fits him and makes him into a moron for an episode solely for the plot to work. This still could’ve worked but just have Huey and Louie BOTH get suspicious, Huey later, and find out Tenderfoot is actually Gavin, whose sapient, has a phone and simply is taking advantage of them. it would’ve gone the same way: if they told Dewey , Gavin would kill them, as he threatened to do if louie told his brothers. The Gavin part though is brilliant and a really nice twist I didn’t see coming when I first saw this.  

And it would’ve made the already great climax more interesting as Huey would’ve been forced to use the methods of Louie’s he’d derided to beat a far worse scammer. Instead it’s just Louie but he doesn’t take Gavin’s threats lying down.. and comes up with a clever way to use his scam against him. He shaves Gavin, hides the razor then claims to his brother that not being in the woods means he’s dying or some such thing. So our two idiots and our hero drag them out and while they run into scrooge, Louie still saves the idiots life by manipulating him with a schmaltzy speech and they let him go despite his best attempts to stay, with Louie getting a nice “I win in there”. Overall a bit of a mess with some good ideas, but Huey suddenly taking dum dum juice really drags it down.

So in any other episode this would’ve been fine whatever just mildly obnoxious. What makes it really,  unintentionally obnoxious.. is it’s in the middle of a tense, dark, horror story that dives into the depths of Lena’s soul and ends on a really horrifying note. Case in point Louie shaves a bigfoot and gets his victory over his nemesis.. after an utterly spellbindingly horrific nightmare by Lena, easily the most terrifying moment in the entire show. Followed up with a shaved bigfoot. 

Now I could buy Disney simply forced them to do this to keep things light... except Frank’s been pretty upfront about the production process, how Disney has treated him, what they’ve said no on. So if it had been something they were forced to do, he would’ve said it. No this is just not reading the room and not thinking things through and an otherwise stellar episode suffers for it.They could’ve waited till season 2 for it, they didn’t, and this was the result. It dosen’t ruin the rest of the episode it’s too good for it, but damn if it dosen’t create mood whiplash so severe I need a neckbrace. 

The Good Part

So back at the plot anyone actually cares about, we found out what the “other bin” is when Lena asks Webby: While the Money bin is for well, money and precious keepsakes, the other bin is the stuff too dangerous to keep out in the world. And this is the guy who kept a mystical gold eating dragon, a pirate ghost, and a medusa gauntlet in his garage, and we’ll learn after this ep also keeps a giant golden aztec golem in there. NONE of that was deemed dangerous enough to put in the other bin. So Webby is understandably hesitant.. and it gets a bit unsettling when Lena manipulates her into it. While she has in the past.. she usually just nudged Webby into something she’d do anyway at worst, or showed her an r-rated movie or something harmless. While she did use her as an in she clearly cares.. so it shows how horrifically desperate she’s got she’s willing to pressure her into going into Scrooge’s most dangerous and secure location, pointing out this may be her only chance to see the Dime. 

So she reluctantly agrees, and the two head into the garage. Turns out Scrooge keeps all his junk here for more reason than just shoving it wherever it’d go, as the entrance to the other bin is hidden here. The statue that gave Manny his head is actually a clue towards the painting hiding the second bin, which itself requires one of those things used to hold up ropes and such like you’d see at a movie theater... god I miss movie theaters.. I mean watching stuff in the comfort of home is very nice, but it was nice getting out, making a day of it. I mean their around, but I really don’t want to go till one till more vaccinations have happened and it’s a lot safer to go. Wait what were we talking about? Oh right gay ducks going into a horrifying nightmare vault. But yeah the theater thingy is the key, it unlocks the entrance and our heroines head inside. 

In contrast to the modern, buisnessy welcoming bin, the other bin is basically one giant vault/prison, with everything in it securely locked inside identical doored rooms. It’s genius as it is simple: Only 6 people have likely ever had access to this place: Scrooge, Beakly, Gyro, Duckworth and MAYBE the twins. Even Della and Donald being allowed down here is an unknown. The non-scrooge people are only because someone besides him needs to maintain it, keep any creatures fed, that sort of thing and he’d only trust his butler and his housekeeper, who are also both extraordinarily badass, to do so. Gyro is because someone needed to design the cells. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Quackfaster was a 7th since season 3 casts her as Scrooge’s magic expert and he’d likely need specific runes for specific cells. He’d want as few people down here as possible, and even fewer knowing. I’m sure Bradford knew, and i’m also certain it’s the one thing he never quibbled about the expense as while he hates what Scrooge stands for and tried to curb his “chaos” as much as possible.. this is doing exactly what Bradford likes: locking it away where it can’t hurt anybody. Plus quibbling about it might make Scrooge want to show it off to him and that’s.. that's’ a whole lotta nope in a 2 pound bag. 

So for once Webby is very hesitant and very cautious, though naturally Magica points out a door.. and Lena stupidly follows her advice as she knows her “aunt” is impulsive and has no regards for her safety. What did she think was going to happen? They instead find a unicorn.. or rather it’s angry murderous cousin the Sword Horse, which naturally tries goring them. I’d go with Spear Horse, but semantics. Point is Webby is soon tackled by the thing and Magica just wants to let her die. As seen before the tension between Magica and Lena has hit a breaking point: Magica is fed up with Lena’s clear feelings for webby and caring more about her than the mission.. while Lena is fed up with Magica not listening to her, respecting her as sentient being and dismissing her out of hand instead of listening to her often very valid criticism. So Lena naturally ignores her and throws her the knife, which Webby uses to get the Sword Horse back in it’s pen. And then wonders why her girlfriend has  glowing painstakingly crafted magic knife. Whoops. Webby also wants to leave but Lena convinces her to keep going. but it’s also very clear that Webby’s getting more and more reluctant and i’ts very hard to watch. You can’t blame Lena for wanting to be free of Magica: she dosen’t see her as a person, and dosen’t value her life. But it’s still hard to watc her have to manipulate the only person that loves her and do so so.. effectively. It’s easy to imagine Lena’s done this dozens of times to other people.. but not to someone she actually CARES about. 

Webby DOES figure out how the rooms work though: each one is labeled by the year Scrooge caught it. So she assumes one room she fine is the dime.. and Lena of course runs in and slams the door shut... they’ve found it. So we then get to the most terrifying moment of the series. With victory in her grasp magica roars for Lena to claim the dime, filling the room and Lena with shadow with Lena seemingly disolving.. until Magica is restored or at least partially, still a shadow. Magica has just one thing for her.. and Lena’s reactoin is terrified.. and says oh so much in just one expression it’s VERY clear Lena fears she’s about to die... if she’s lucky. Magica’s been so verbally abusive, tearing her down constantly, manipulating her constantly.. why WOULD Lena expect anything good? Why would she expect anything other than pain or death? So a hug is a surprise.. as is Webby who assumes she’s being attacked... and is clearly heartbroken that’s not the case and runs for Scrooge when Magica admits the truth... only for Magica to seemingly kill her, turning her into a doll resembling the original Webby

Yeah at this point it’s obvious something’s up.. but before we can get to the natural reveal at the end of this horror show, Lena demands Magica change her back... only for a fight to naturally ensue with Magica rubbing the way Lena’s treated Webby in her face: How she manipualted her, lied to her and used her. Even if it was for more noble reasons.. she never told her any of this or tried to and is now directly responsible for her death. She’s a monster.. and then Lena’s amulet activates.. and seemingly finishes the job. 

Then Lena wakes up. This was simply one of SCrooge’s artifact, one Webby mentioned earlier off hand and Webby rescues her. It was all a nightmare.. easy to see given Webby was seemingly killed or turned into a doll at points.. but besides making Lena realize how while not as bad as her aunt, she ahsn’t been great.. it also gives us a painful look into her head and how she sees both Magica and Webby. With Magica.. it’s again VERY clear Magica verbally abuses her, depersons her and is in general a horrifiingly relastic depection of a domestic abuser. But it’s also telling Magica hugs her... while Lena didn’t expect it, this is all her subconcious mixed with a magical cursed artifact, it’s clear that deep down one of the things she wants most.. is for Magica to LOVE HER. 

That is just... it hurts so much.  She just wants a Mom.. and even then her subconcious can’t give her THAT because it knows the truth. Granted the nightmare thing might of had something to do with it, but still, the fact is deep down she knows Magica dosen’t care about her but she WANTS her to. As with Webby, she fears Magica is right, that all her gaslighting has had an effect and Webby would run away the second she found out. When as we’ll learn.. that’s not true at all. She’s deeply hurt... but she still belivies in her. But Lena can’t even see that. She’s been beaten down so much by someone constnatly telling her no one will ever love her she belivies it herself and all her mind and the dreamcatcher can do is pummel her over and over again with what she feels about herself, what she’s KNOWN about how she treats webby even if she had no way out otherwise, how wrong it’s felt. Just holy shit it’s a lot to take in. 

But all this trauma has made Lena realize she truly does love Webby and this isn’t worth it.. she’ll find some other way out or figure out something, for now their leaving. She’s not dying for this.. not for her. They happen to run into Scrooge who, due to the WACKY BIGFOOT SUBPLOT THAT HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER THE ABOVE SCENE, no I will not let that go even going back to Frank’s twitter asks he outright said it was their darkest plot paired with one of their most insane, he knew what he was doing. Turns out cleverly he kept the Dime in vault one. As he puts it “They never think to check the first one”. Smart. He also keeps his worry room down here. Just a note I wanted to mention. 

He does chide them, and Lena takes the full fall.. but suprisingly he dosen’t ban her from his home or anything, he just asks they be honest and would’ve gladly showed the dime off to them both if they’d just asked. Once Scrooge and Webby walk off far enough Magica berates her again..but Lena is done. She’s realized from her own horrifying nightmares that NO amount of freedom is worth what Magica will get out of this, that her own soul isn’t worth the death of the one person she cares about: Webby will fight her and she might not make it. She loves her more than she fears Magica. And even if it means loosing Webby.. she knows who can stop him. Unfortunately.. this is not a happy ending as Magica simply takes full control. And now has Scrooge’s full trust. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is one half a masterpiece. The parts with Lena are to this day, as we approach the very last episode, some of the show’s finest writing and Lena’s nightmare is easily the darkest scene in the series, and only not the most gutwrenching.. because we’re getting to that next week. It finishes the first leg of her character arc, with her selfishness all gone, and the only thing she wants is Webby’s hapiness. Granted that leads to a whole nother character arc over her season 2 episodes, but we’ll get there. Point is she’s realized her manipulations are wrong and not worth the cost, and that she’ll never get anything good out of Magica. Freedom.. will take just a bit longer. It’s eerie to watch, uncomfortable as Lena sinks to her lowest point before climbing out of it, and with a very tense atmosphere the whole time, the bin having a smothering uncomfortableness as we know there’s tons of horrible things here.. but we don’t know what. 

So on it’s own it’d be one of the series best episodes, and the plot itself is still one fo the series best.. but it’s weighed down by one of the series worst plots. Still tame compared to a lto of other series worst moments but being paired with something so dark and excellent really shows how fucking stupid this plot was and made it that much more grating. It just clashes badly. Thankfully the crew did learn from this fiasco to the point we got one of the series best episodes “Escape from the Impossibin!”. That one seemingly has two light enough plots, Scrooge, Louie and Della escaping from the bin and Webby stalking the boys, but in a comedic ic still messed up fashion.. but both take a sharp left at just the right time as to not clash: the full implications of what Webby’s doing and her physical fight with Bentina happen around the same time Scrooge breaks down and confesses he’s scared he can’t win this time. The episode gets really dark in the second half but it eases into it and slowly makes it’s way to it, building to it with some laughts to disarm it. But stuff like robo scrooge or the timeloop room, or the timeloop room, or the timeloop room, or the oh thank god i’ts broken. That stuff isn’t SO wacky or out of place that it detracts from the other plot. They compliment each other. Here it’s just two plots that don’t work together at all joined together for some reason.  So yeah overall a very mixed bag of an episode and if you do want to watch or rewatch it.. just skip the bigfoot subplot> it’s not worth it. 

Next Time on Shadow Into Light: It’s all come down to this. Magica finally ges what she wants. The Shadow War is Night.. but before I can tell you that story we have a bit of ground to cover so..

Next on this Blog: The family minus Beakly ends up in Greece. Dewey is forced to deal with his fears about his mom, Scrooge is forced to deal with his old rival Zeus, and Donald is forced to deal with an unwanted admirerer. Spanikopita!

If you liked this review, follow for more, feel free to contribute to my patreon, and feel free to commission a review of your own. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[bold-writing]

The One With Silver Scars || 8 || Bleeding Innocence

Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of abuse, violence.

Words: 2700+

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~8~

All the years spent under the thumbs of her parents, Adelais learned skills that most people would disregard as useless. Among those was sleeping in some of the most uncomfortable conditions. She had slept on the stone-cold concrete of the basement floor, nothing to soften the surface or keep her warm. The drafty space of the attic where she encountered a disturbing number of bugs, only a moldy rug between her and the wood. Forced to stand in one place that would result in punishment if they found she had moved come morning.

 Sitting propped against the wall is far from the worst sleeping spot she had encountered so far.

 When her eyes opened the sight that greeted her was Claire and Marcia spooned together on one bed and Casey stretched out on the other. It must have been early; she woke at 4 in the morning like she was on a damned wind-up clock. But this was different. She hadn’t woken from the routine she had built up over the years, something had woken her.

That’s when she noticed there was more lighting in the room than there should have been. Only the small lights on the backwall were on, leaving just the faintest glow above the heads of the other girls.

 Casting her eyes to her left, she kept herself carefully emotionless when she came face to face with the body of Dennis and Patricia—because it was clearly not them—smiling at her almost manically. Wearing what seemed to be a black and yellow tracksuit, the zipper of the coat undone enough to show a plain white shirt beneath. Legs were crossed and he rested his back against the doorframe so he could face her.

 “Hello,” she greeted quietly, trying not to wake the other three.

 How many personalities did this person have? Which was the original?

 “I’m Hedwig,” he responded. The lisp that altered his words slightly caused her a moment of shock—a child? “How do you sleep like that?” he inquired a moment later, tipping his head to the side as he regarded how she was sitting against the wall—actually quite similar to him, since her legs were crossed, and her hands were tucked together in her lap.

 His voice was slightly louder than hers. Doubtless enough to wake the others soon. “Practice,” was her calm response.

 Before he even opened his mouth, Adelais lifted a finger to her lips to convey his need to be quiet. He paused at the commend, his smile dimming as his expressed became a mix of a frown and a pout.

 “You’ll wake them up,” she explained quietly, using the same finger she had shushed him with to point over to Marcia and Claire.

 The scoff he released as more like air pushed between his bottom lip and his top teeth, like someone blowing a raspberry. “So?”

 Ducking her head closer to him, like a secret was being shared, Adelais kept her eyes carefully trained on his. “I don’t want to wake them; they’re mean to me.” His expression hardened, finally looking similar to Dennis. “They say I’m crazy.”

 Hedwig sucked on his lip, maintaining the sour look on his face. “The others used to be mean to me,” he responded in a much quieter tone. “But Miss. Patricia and Mr. Dennis keep the others away. Now, Miss. Patricia sings to me sometimes—she’s not mad at me anymore.” He smiled, but it wobbled slightly as he tried to mask the turmoil of emotions welling to the surface.

 Adelais’s answering smile was sad. “It must be nice to have someone who takes care of you.”

 “Who-who takes care of you?” Hedwig shuffled forward, separating from the doorframe to put less space between them.

 She shook her head. “No one, I take care of myself.”

 With the innocence only a child could have, he frowned at her words. “That sounds lonely.”

 “It is. Mr. Dennis has been keeping me company. When he can. I’m sure he’s very busy so he usually has to leave. Does he know you’re here?”

 A look of panic came to his face and Adelais knew she had asked the wrong question. “No-no…no, he’ll be angry if he knows I took the light.” Pulling back abruptly, the shifting of the keys next to him on the floor was enough to alert Marcia and Claire, who jerked up with dual gasps of fright.

 Hedwig looks over at them, panicked again.

 “I was quiet!” he declared to Adelais, his voice still in a whisper. He looked upset, afraid—it was how she used to look when she was younger and had displeased her mother. Waiting for the yelling or lashing to start, punishment for disobedience. “I-I was quiet!”

 Nodding her head calmly, she hoped she conveyed assurance with the small smile she allowed. “You were. It’s okay. You did nothing wrong.” Thankfully, the devastated look on his face softened before there was the threat of tears.

 Marcia and Claire were whispering Casey’s name, trying to wake up the other girl as well. It drowned out what Hedwig and Adelais were saying to one another, keeping the quiet assurance between the two of them. She half expected Hedwig to leave now that the girls were awake—Casey jolted up with a gasp once she realized there was someone else in the room—but he just turned himself around to lean on the side of the doorframe closest to her.

 The upset already forgotten.

 Silence stretched for a moment as he smiled at the others. “I’m Hedwig,” he finally declared, so similar to his introduction to her. “I have red socks.”

 The simplicity of youthful minds.

 His expression shifted then, the smile disappearing as he bit at his lip like someone dying to tell a secret. “He’s on the move.” Looking over his shoulder to where Adelais was still leaning against the wall, the manic smile returned as he ducked his head while supressing a laugh.

 Casey’s voice was raspy from sleep. “What?”

 The giggle escaped, Hedwig turning his head away. Excited to know something they didn’t. “He’s…on…the…move,” he repeated slowly, drawing out the last word like the last note of a song.

 “Mr. Dennis?” Adelais asked quietly, though she already suspected he was talking about someone quite different.

 “Nope,” he responded, popping the ‘p’ as grinned at her. Ducking his head, he turned the grin on the other three. “Someone’s coming for you, and you’re not gunna like it.” Next, he faced Adelais. “They make noises in their sleep. I thought you were dead.”

 Marcia interrupted quietly, “Tell us.”

 He looked like he wanted to, opening and closing his mouth like he couldn’t quite decide what he wanted to say. Instead, he declared “I’m not supposed to say” while turning his head to look out into the other room, where Dennis and Adelais would stand for the few minutes of quiet. “But!” he continued, turning back, “He’s done awful things to people and he’ll do awful things to you. I have blue socks, too.”

 “We’re his food?”

 Hedwig extended his arms in an ‘I dunno’ gesture, making a face while doing so. He nearly smacked Adelais with his hand as he stretched back but she quickly lifted her leg until her knee was drawn up to her chest. The rush of blood back into her feet set them aflame with pins and needles. She dutifully ignored the sensations.

 Casey leaned forward, dawning with realization. “How old are you?”

 “Nine,” he declared proudly.

 “So you’re not the guy that took us?”

 She’s as hopeless as the other two.

 Adelais resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Hedwig scoffed at her. When she confirmed that he wasn’t Patricia, either, he made a face. “What are you, blind?” Then to Adelais, slightly quieter, “Is she?”

 “No, just ignorant,” she answered just as quietly. “But be careful, she’s smarter than the others.” Hedwig leaned closer to her, nearly falling from against the doorframe, as he met her gaze. Her whispered warning was so quiet, she knew the others couldn’t understand her. He frowned with concentration. “She lies.”

 Casey spoke over her, almost drowning out Adelais’s whispered warnings. “You don’t know how they think?”

 “No, they don’t tell me much. I just had a hot-dog.” Adelais wasn’t sure if it was the shortness of his attention, or a smart trick to throw someone off the current topic, but the random bits of information was actually clever. Not enough to deter the three teens, but still clever.

 “Could you help us, Hedwig?”

 Similar to her question earlier, Hedwig recoiled. “No, I’m…I’m not even supposed to be here. I stole the light from Mr. Dennis, but he’ll be back real soon and…I can’t steal the light for too long for he’ll know and get angry.” His concern was real; he knew he would get in trouble for doing someone he was told not to. Yet, the curiosity of a nine-year-old was a powerful thing. “Et cetera.”

 Looking between the three on the cots, his eyes darting back and forth, he suddenly reached back and gave Adelais’s leg a playful shove—it was stronger than that of a child, using the strength housed in the adult body he lived within. “See ya!”

 “Wait,” Casey blurted out. Hedwig stopped while still crouched at the door, reaching back to grab the doorhandle as he prepared to close it behind him. His attention was caught, however, as he glanced back at Casey.

 “Be careful, she’s smarter than the others.”

 Looking first at Casey, his eyes eventually drifted over to Adelais. The green of her eyes caught slightly in the light spilling into the room, constricting her pupils to show the ring of hazel around their center. Her lips were slightly thinned, one of the small shows of emotion she allowed. “We heard something,” Casey continued while he was paused in the doorway. “We didn’t understand it before, but now we do.”

 Carefully sliding off the cot, she situated herself in the center of the room. Still far from the door, but now in Hedwig’s direct path. The child noticed when Adelais’s eyebrows twitched down—such a small motion it was almost unseen—and remembered Dennis’s face doing the same thing when there was something he didn’t like.

 “Do you know what we heard?” Casey asked quietly, baiting him forward.

 Adelais knew what she was doing. Hedwig was a child, more easily manipulated when compared to Dennis or Patricia. Dennis scared them too much, and they had only had one encounter with Patricia. Therefore, the nine-year-old made the easier target. It was a sound strategy to try and escape, but the thought of manipulating a child made her stomach clench with discomfort.

 He wasn’t just someone pretending to be a child, this was a personality that knew nothing else. It was the same as if she had actually manipulated a little boy that had the body to match the personality. It was clear that he feared the anger of both of the adult personalities, and Casey was setting him up to take the brunt of that anger.

 The only reprieve was that they shared a body, there was no way to physically punish him.

 But she knew all about emotional and mental torture.

 Unfortunately, Hedwig was too young to see those signs and his attention was caught. “What’d you hear?”

 “Come here,” Casey prompted. “I’ll whisper it to you.”

 Giggling to himself, Hedwig cast one last glance at Adelais before he released the doorhandle. “Okay.” Keeping himself crouched down, he waddled forward on his feet while his hands cradled his knees. Adelais wanted to call him back, to stop what Casey was planning, but perhaps this could be to her advantage as well.

 Hedwig stopped just shy of Casey, ducking his head down so she could whisper into his ear.

 She couldn’t be sure if it was done on purpose, but Casey’s whisper was too low for Adelais to hear. She was probably mimicking what Adelais had done just a minute before, whispered to Hedwig about Casey. Green eyes keenly watched Casey’s face—trying to read her lips unsuccessfully—and Hedwig’s back. Whatever she whispered was short and prompted Hedwig to lean back.

 “You’re a big fibber,” he accused, the playfulness gone from his tone.

 “I never lie, Hedwig.”

 “She lies.”

 His panic was back, bringing with it the slight stutter in his words. “But…but Mr. Dennis said that he followed those two girls for four days, and he said that he knew that they were the ones that-that-that he would want.”

 Adelais knew exactly what Casey had told him. It was risky. Casey continued to whisper to him, her voice low and staying between her and Hedwig. But he wasn’t as subtle; listening to Hedwig’s reactions allowed Adelais to piece together what was whispered to him. What lies were spread.

 How to counter them.

 With the same low, waddling steps, Hedwig backed up a few paces. Putting distance between him and Casey. “N-no…Miss….Miss. Patricia said she’s not mad anymore!” His voice rose with the swell of emotion Casey’s words caused. “She-she sings to me!” Looking to Adelais caused an abrupt swell of anger at Casey to almost choke her. His face was broken and distraught, a tear tracking down his cheek. She wanted to console him.

 How often had she cried alone because she had displeased her mother? As a child, she could never understand why they hated her so much.

 “I was quiet!” He was yelling now, emotions getting the best of him. “I-I didn’t wake them, you said-you said I did nothing wrong!”

 Her body moved before she made the decision, lifting her hands toward him. He waddled forward, still babbling about being quiet, and being good, until Adelais’s chilled fingers gently stroked across his cheeks to collect the tears that fell. She shushed him softly, meant more as a calming sound than to warn him he was being loud. Sniffling strongly, he leaned into her hands as she continued to stroke her thumbs across his cheeks.

 “You’re okay, Hedwig. Don’t cry. She’s lying.”

 Casey wasn’t about to give up, assuming that the emotional response from him meant that he believed her lie. “I think Miss. Patricia’s still a little mad at you. But if we hurry, we can all get out.”

 He pulled from her hands so suddenly they remained in front of her, holding only air. “You lie,” he accused. “She said you lie, you lie!” Adelais only hoped the girls assumed he was talking about Patricia. If they knew she had put the idea in his head, the tension between them would come to a breaking point. “Mr. Dennis made this room safe—it took forever without those nosey-bodies who work here finding out. You can’t get out of here!”

 The upset had turned to panic again.

 “I have to blow my nose,” he announced before rushing from the small room with the door slamming behind him. Adelais retracted her hands as Casey called out for him, desperately trying to stop him so they could escape. But the lock clicked into place, sealing them inside. She beat Casey to the door, having been right next to it, and watched as Hedwig rushed to the other door and used the set of keys he had been carrying to unlock that one as well.

 “Who’s coming?” Marcia was the first to ask, she and Claire getting up from their cot as Casey came up behind Adelais to watch him disappear out the other door.

 “No one’s coming,” Claire tried to assure.

 “Oh, shut up,” Adelais snapped, glancing over her shoulder as Casey started to pace to the wall near the bathroom. “Clearly someone is going to come here, why else would he follow you two for four days? This wasn’t spur of the moment.”

 Claire looked ready to argue again, though there was a distinct hesitation after Adelais’s last enraged reaction. “He said something,” Casey interrupted first, placing her hand on the bare drywall. “He said something about making the room safe.”

 Finally understanding Casey’s train of thought, Claire looked around the room. The wall of the bathroom and the ceiling were both covered in bare slabs of drywall, the screws holding them in place still visible. “This is all new drywall.”

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[ellana-ravenwood]

The Master of Diaper - Batmom x Batkids/Bruce Wayne

Summary : It’s a war between your four sons, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian...To know who’s the best at changing their little brother’s, Thomas, diapers. A rather intense war really, as they all want to become “The master of Diapers”. 

Just a short silly fic that came up to me while I was drifting off to sleep. And in case you’re wondering who “Thomas” is, here’s the fic that introduces him : “Shaky steps and bad teaching”. Hope you like it ahem : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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You always impressed Bruce, always.

The way you wouldn’t let anyone walk on your feet, and use your sarcasms and wits to get out of any “bad social situations” was impressive to him.

The way you always managed to make people around you smile and laugh, even him and your brooding sons, was impressive to him. 

The way you always seem to find the right words to comfort someone, or to tell your feelings, was impressive to him. 

The way you trained, even harder than him sometimes, was impressive to him. 

The way you fought, so fiercely and fearlessly, was impressive to him. 

The way you seemed to know everything, like you always had the answer to people’s questions (about ANYTHING), was impressive to him. 

And oh if he really had to list everything that he found impressive in you, it would take too many years. Yes, you always impressed your Bruce. Always. 

But today, you surpassed even yourself ! Your cleverness, he knew it now, had no bound ! Damn smart woman you were. 

What impressed him so much ? The way you so easily manipulated your sons into changing their little brother’s dirty diapers. It was such genius that he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you, admiration shining in his eyes. And the worst thing was, that you didn’t even know you were so awesome, and the only person he truly admired in this universe...Which made you even more awesome. 

It was really clever, the way you ended up convincing your sons to take care of their little brother’s, Thomas, dirty diapers. You played on their competitive side. One day, as Bruce was changing Thomas, you just dropped a “Wow, you’re slow, I bet even Damian could be faster than you”, which confused him a little bit. It wasn’t like you to say such things but...Oh, but of course. The boys were in the room, and he swore he saw their ears moving, quite like dogs, as they heard what their mother just said. 

It was a smart move really. Right after saying that, and therefor attracting their attention on the two of you, you heavily hinted that it took lots of skills to properly change diapers, and that you’d be impressed if you saw anyone do it in less than a minute...They took it as a challenge. Of course they did. 

As Bruce was finishing to change Thomas’ diaper (rather fast to be honest), Damian approached and said : 

-I bet mom is right, and I can be faster than you, father. 

Of course, now he said that, Tim had to add : 

-And I bet I’d be faster than you. 

Jason and Dick couldn’t be out of this little game, and felt like they were obligated to say : 

-Yeah right you little munchkins, I bet I will do it faster. Hey, stop repeating what I say ! Stop. Stop. STOP ! JASON/DICK ! HAHA ! Erf...

And so it started. 

The long race to who was going to become “The Master of Diapers”. 

*******************

You and Bruce didn’t change any diapers for the past three months, as your sons tried to do it in less than a minute. Brilliant. You were just brilliant. With a few words, you inserted in their head a challenge, an idea...When really, all you wanted was for them to take care of dirty diapers, because even though you loved your son, it was gross. 

You were always able to manipulate your sons and your husband (Alfred was a tough one though), but you rarely used this “power” of yours, because you didn’t like the idea of making them do stuffs...But of course, there were a few exceptions. Like the diaper thing, or “forcing” them to take AT LEAST one night off each week, so that they wouldn’t overwork themselves too much...

-1 MINUTE AND 30 SECONDS IT’S A NEW RECORD !! I’M THE MASTER OF DIAPERS !! 

You watch, amused, your eldest son doing his “winning dance” under the glare of his three little brothers, with a very confused baby Thomas in his arms. Someone happy to change his diaper ? That’s a first. 

Bruce is here too, his arm around your shoulder, you snuggled against his side. It highly amuses him as well, to see your four kids compete to be the best diaper changer in the house.

You let Dick dance a bit more, because it’s cute and the kid got some great move, but eventually...you have to shatter all of his dreams : 

-Actually, you forgot to put some soothing cream on his little butt. Now your brother will have a rash there thanks to you. And it also means you didn’t actually properly change him so...your record doesn’t count. 

Your eldest boy freezes while he’s dancing, stopping while he was making a particularly wide sway of his hips, therefor looking a bit ridiculous, not moving and frozen in place, as he looks at his little brother he’s holding in his arms. Thomas looks back at him, and his happy nature can’t stop him from smiling at his oldest bro’s stunned expression, of a wide and joyful smile. You take your little one from Dick’s arms, and let what you just said sink in his mind. 

When he pouts and says “Oh come on”, you know he understood, and his brothers’ laugh are enough for him to get all grumpy. 

It’s rare to see Dick grumpy. And you definitely don’t like it, so, with a loving kiss on his cheek you say : 

-It’s alright my boy, you’ll do better next time ! None of you is Master of Diapers yet. But it’ll come. It will.

-But mom, I did everything in one minute and thirty three seconds ! I didn’t forget the lotion ! 

You turn toward your youngest son, cross your arms and shake your head “sadly” (they totally know, by the way, you’re mocking them...damn your sarcastic nature !) 

-Maybe Damian, but it’s still not under a minute. Not worthy of a true master yet. 

-Under a minute, it’s impossible ! Thomas always squirms in every way, and we can’t go too fast without risking to hurt him ! 

-Well I’m sure glad you’re being careful with your brother, but I’m sure you can do better than a minute and 33 seconds. 

-I’ve been trying for three months...

-Not hard enough maybe ? 

-Hey ! Not my fault mom ! Whenever I wanna practice, Dick, Jason or Tim beats me to it ! 

-Because we’re faster ! 

-You’re faster running to the baby, not changing him, as I have the record right now ! And I didn’t forget the lotion, Dick ! 

-PUTTING THE LOTION ON WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME LESS THAN TEN SECONDS, SO TECHNICALLY I WOULD HAVE BROKEN YOUR RECORD !

-MAYBE BUT YOU DIDN’T ! SO I’M STILL THE CLOSEST TO BEING THE MASTER OF DIAPER !! 

Yelling it like that, your sons have a little pause. “Master of diaper” ? That...That sounds so stupid. Wait a minute ! Did you just play them for the past three months ? The smirk on your face is an answer enough. Jason comes back to his senses first, and say, his voice beyond suspicious : 

-Mom. Did you...Do you...Are you pulling our legs ? 

You raise your eyebrows innocently, and turn to your husband, acting as if your hurt by your son’s allegation. Bruce puts his hands on your shoulders empathically, and looks at Jason, giving him a fake “how dare you ?” look. Oh yeah, you two were totally messing around with them ! With an incredibly pained look that makes their hearts drop (and they hate themselves for letting you manipulate them so easily), you sadly say : 

-Whatever do you mean my sweet baby son ? 

Oh, you had the nerve to call him your “sweet baby son”, what was he suppose to say to that ?! Tim doesn’t let his brother answer, knowing he will crack, and says, narrowing his eyes at you : 

-Oh I can’t believe it ! You’re totally mocking us ! Oh my Gods ! We just spent three months trying to do something that’s clearly impossible just so you wouldn’t have to change any diapers ! I woke up at two in the morning to do it more than once, on my days off, and you were just playing us ! 

It’s Bruce’s turn to talk : 

-Playing you guys ? Oh we wouldn’t dare. Especially not your mom. Is it her habit to manipulate you into doing anything ? Really ? 

Doubts is slowly creeping itself on your sons’ face, and you feel just a little bit guilty. Because of course, they’re right, but at the same time, ew, diapers full of poop. Damian, with the last suspicion he has in his heart, manages to say : 

-No. No you guys are right. Mom is...stop looking at me like that mother please...Because I know you’re using us right now, even though you rarely do so, but right now it’s one of your trick you use on others and...yeah I know I’m right...Dick, little help please ? 

Damian knows you already won over Jason and Tim, but not Dick yet, because your oldest son is still kinda pissed he missed being the “master of diaper” just because he forgot the stupid lotion...So he says, not quite sure of himself though : 

-Yes. Yes I believe we just saw through their games. They manipulated us to change diapers. Especially mom really. It’s impossible to change Thomas in less than a minute. 

With a mischievous smile, you look at all of your sons, and they know they lost when you indicate, matter of factly : 

-I could change him in less than a minute. 

Oh you sly woman. The worst thing is that they knew you could do it. And their competitive minds was screaming to them to do better. As if he was agreeing with his mother, Thomas lets out the cutest baby noise ever, and points to his brothers with a wide smile. ...Yeah, they were doomed. Even if they were being played by their parents right now, just to change their little brother’s diapers, and even though they started to understand it...They’d still do it. Because they had to fulfill the challenge they gave themselves, changing Thomas in less than a minute, and because the time they had, just them and their smallest, youngest brother, was precious to them. 

None of them, except maybe Dick, would ever admit it, but they loved changing Tommy. It was a time they had just between them and him, most of the times alone, just the two of them. And their little one was so adorable that, of course...

Dick loved the way Thomas cooed at him, and smiled so widely at him that he would always ending up drooling all over the place. 

Jason loved the way Tom would grab his fingers when he was done changing him, not letting him go. It made his heart beat faster, and the need to protect that little baby above all always swarmed him like a tsunami. 

Tim loved the way he seemed to always be able to make his little baby brother burst out laughing. Like, no matter what, just talking to him, even if he cried a lot (which was rare), he would just make him laugh quickly. And god that little boy’s laugh was adorable. It made Tim’s heart sing, and always filled him with hope for the future. 

Damian loved the fact that Thomas always seemed to be captivated by whatever he would tell him. He could speak about anything to the baby, and he would always just stare at him with his big blue eyes he got from his father, and seemed genuinely interested in everything he was saying. Of course he would never admit it, but Damian would do anything for his baby brother. The mere existence of that baby motivated him to make the world a better place, so that he would grow up to live a peaceful life, unlike every one else in the family. 

Yes, the four brothers would never say it out loud, but they really enjoyed changing their brother’s dirty diapers, as weird as it could sound. And the way you looked at them, holding him in your arms...No, of course you weren’t playing them. Besides, they were gladly doing it so...

With a last smile to all of them, you leave the room with your baby in your arms, who was starting to doze off. Your husband leaves his four sons who are starting to argue about who is the fastest and best diaper changer to follow you. A smile he cannot erase on his face at the sight of your back and the head of your sleeping baby on your shoulder, he turns to tell his sons to behave, and smile some more when he hear them fighting...but instead of yelling, they’re whispering, afraid to wake their baby brother up. 

Oh those boys, damn he loved (love) them. 

****************

You lay Thomas in his crib, and turn around to face your Bruce that you heard was following you. You recognize the smile on his face. It’s your favorite. The one he cannot stop from being there, the one he can’t seem to be able to erase because he’s just so happy. Yup, definitely your favorite smile of his.  

You smile back at him and, careful not to make any noise as you walk because, just like his father and brothers, Thomas has a very light sleep, you go to your husband, and take the hand is giving you. 

He leads you out of your baby’s room, and to your own shared bedroom, where you end up just cuddling on your bed. Nothing else, sometimes, you just enjoyed being in each others’ arms, talking. About anything and everything. You weren’t just lovers, just deeply in love, you were also best friends. 

You could hear your sons downstairs, getting louder and louder, and Alfred’s voice scolding them, telling them to be quiet because Master Thomas is finally asleep. After that, you don’t hear anything else, but you know they’re still arguing silently, and imagining them “fighting” while trying to make the least noise possible makes you chuckle. When Bruce asks why you’re laughing, you tell him, and suddenly, the both of you are taken over by a wave of laughter. 

Oh you love those moments with him. When you’re both carefree. Content beyond all measure. So much in love with each others...He nuzzle his nose into your neck (contrary to popular belief, Bruce big on cuddling...He was your personal teddy bear really, but of course, only you knew that). 

-You’re too good for me, my love, my sweet (Y/N). 

-Non sense my heart, you’re the one that is too good...

-Let’s agree to disagree then. But let me just say : you’re the one who had the idea about the diaper thing, not me. So therefor, it makes you greater than me. 

-Does it now ? I don’t think that’s how it...

-Humor me, please. 

-Alright. Alright, let’s say you’re right for once.

-”For once” ? 

-Well, if I’m greater than you, obviously, I’m the one that is always right. 

-Oh you little...

-Hey, let’s not say things we’ll regret afterward ok my Broosh ? 

He chuckles and you can feel the vibration of his voice on your neck, making you shiver. He tightens his grip on you, and bring you even closer to him. Just like he loves it. Your body flushed on his. His hands start to wander under your shirt...Of course they do. 

-I love you (Y/N), you’re the most brilliant person I ever met.

-I love you too my heart. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You and dick. And Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Thomas. And Alfred of course. 

He chuckles some more, and he manages to say, as you feel him drift off to sleep : 

-Feelings’ mutual. I love you (Y/N)...my love...so much...always...

And while you’re caressing his scalp with soothing fingers, and his back up and down, his arms around you, his legs trapping your body against him, he falls asleep. Only you are able to help him fall in a deep slumber that fast. Only you and your touch. 

And it was the same for all the other Wayne boys. You not only had the power to make them do whatever you wanted (though, again, you actually rarely used that ability of yours), you could also soothe them to sleep in a matter of seconds. And oh damn, they loved you so much for that. 

FIN.

[adamatomic]

Kiddo Board Game Time!

Ok I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now but I dunno like the collapse of the democratic republic and shipping NITW and some other things happened but ok here we are!

First let’s set up some context: my kids are turning 4 and 6 in February, and we’ve been playing a whole heck of a lot of Chutes & Ladders and Candyland and those games suck. That’s not even a controversial opinion to hold really. The most fun we ever got out of Chutes & Ladders was to draw our own like 4′ x 4′ board on a big piece of packing paper, so we could have toy animals stomping around the spots. And Ok that was pretty fun.

The other “games” we’ve been able to play are a bit better but still fundamentally random activities that don’t have a lot of... stakes or interest for adult players: Hisss, and Snail’s Pace Race, and I can easily recommend both for players 4 and younger. They’re random activities really, not games, but there are worse ways to play with your kids. Both kids have been enjoying Katamino quite a bit as well.

BUT OK the thing is they’re almost 4 and 6 finally and we’ve been sort of dipping our toes into more complex games for a few reasons. One, it’s just fun to see what they make of these games. Two, they seem to sense that these are somehow “better” games and they are really enjoying the heck out of em. Three, Bek and I enjoy them much, much more ourselves, and are able to really play and be engaged. The same way co-watching was such a huge part of Sesame Street, I think that co-playing is a really wonderful thing. And, like Sesame Street, co-play is a lot more enjoyable when there’s something there for the grownups too.

Anyways, I wanted to just talk a little bit about some of the games that we’ve been playing, and talk about how the kids are interacting with them. This isn’t so much a shopping guide as a playing guide - hopefully you’ll be able to get a sense of what sort of play activities your kids might find in these, and maybe that will help or something.

Ok!

Suspend

distributed by Melissa & Doug

Suspend is sort of like reverse Jenga. Players start with a pile of dangly sort of coat hanger things, and take turns hanging them off of a little hook. If you knock pieces off, they go into your pile. First one out of pieces wins. Within a few games, players as young as 3 and as old as 63 were playing on about the same level.

There’s not a lot of long-term strategy in Suspend, which helps a lot (and is going to be a kind of running theme there). The 3 and 4 year old players, in our experience, can play tactically but CAN NOT play strategically. What I mean by this is ... the difference between following the rules and taking your turn correctly or whatever, versus like planning out a series of turns to accomplish a goal. We’re finding the almost-4yo can engage in a surprisingly complex single turn, but just doesn’t plan over multiple turns. Which is totally fine! But it means that games where opportunistic local play can keep up with long term strategic play have a broader age range where we can all really play together.

Anyways, it’s a very physical game, it involves imagination and motor skills, and there’s a great sense of anticipation on each turn. Good plays are easy to appreciate, and catastrophes are enjoyable for everyone. This is a fantasic game. The kids can also play 1v1 without our assistance, which is great sometimes!

Jenga

distributed by Hasbro

Maybe I should have put Jenga first haha. Anyways, it’s got a lot in common with Suspend - low strategy, high tactics. Great sense of anticipation. Our youngest is able to play competitively with us and with his grand parents. Genuine co-play and a surprisingly even playing field. A classic for a reason.

Maybe the only downside to Jenga is its kind of a hassle to set up the tower in the first place, which is one reason I prefer Suspend slightly more.

Blokus

distributed by Mattel

Blokus is a little bit like Tetris meets Go, only much simpler. Players take turn placing tetromino-like pieces onto the game board. There’s only one rule - each player’s piece must be diagonally adjacent but not normally adjacent to one of their other pieces. Player’s colored territory grows out across the board a little like Conways’s Game of Life or a slime mold or something. The turn rules are so simple that even our youngest can play his pieces correctly without help. However, because turn-by-turn strategy does matter some, he always gets last place. He doesn’t seem to mind though because he’s still actually playing the game. There’s a lot here to keep adults interested as well, the simple game rules produce some nice strategic texture over repeat plays. The almost-6yo is able to engage in some turn-by-turn strategy as well. The kids can also play 1v1 against each other by taking two colors each, which they do often. Easily their favorite game for the last month, with a dozen plays or more.

Latice

distributed by Adacio

Brent Vincent’s Latice is a bit like Marsha Falco’s brilliant SET crossed with perennial favorite Scrabble. It actually reminds me a LOT of an old Super Famicom puzzle game called Keeper but since I’m the only person on Earth that remembers that game it’s probably not as useful of a comparison.

Anyways, in Latice players take turns placing tiles on the board. Tiles have to be placed adjacent to an existing tile, and must match every adjacent neighbor by color and / or shape. This little wrinkle provides a lot of opportunities for surprising and pleasantly unexpected matches. The strategy emerges from two nice mechanics. Sunstones, which players earn with especially clever placements, let you spend an extra tile on the same turn. Wind tiles let you scoot existing plays to create big matches that might not emerge organically. First player to use up all their tiles wins.

With 4 players, the games go extremely fast (players only have about 4 racks of tiles each), and there’s a really nice amount of depth for grownup players if you’re trying to min-max your sunstones and come out on top. However, like Blokus, the basic rules of the turn are simple enough that our almost-6yo can play with us with maybe an extra hint here or there, and the almost-4yo can place most of his own tiles as well.

It’s not quite as simple as Blokus, but like Blokus it has easy rules for playing with 2 or 3 players, is comprehensible even for young players, and is nice to look at and touch. It feels like it might be a few more months until the 6yo can play without hints, and it could be as much as a year for the younger player to really get up to speed. They still enjoy it very much as an activity though, and request to play often. Unfortunately, the added complexity means it’s not super appropriate for them to play 1v1 between each other (although 1v1 between a parent and one of them works great).

River Dragons

distributed by Asmodee

River Dragons is probably technically clustered under the umbrella of “well-intentioned STEM edu-games” but two key things set it apart. First, it is absolutely gorgeous to look at. Second, the basic theme and activity are completely enjoyable even if you don’t know the rules. This is huge for kids this age. Our oldest spent a lot of his preschool time making little wood bridges over creeks, so a board game where that’s the central activity is really automatically appealing to him. Bridge building is a super common activity in most Reggio preschools and kindergartens too.

Anyways, the play in River Dragons is more complex than Latice, but the strong concrete theming makes it easier to remember. Players each have a deck of 13 “action” cards, from which they select 5 to play each turn. Actions might include placing stones, placing planks, moving, or other actions. The goal is to place several stones and planks and move your meeple across the river. It’s pretty loose and physical and again just enjoying to manipulate.

The trick is everyone plays each of their 5 cards at the same time, and then the cards are evaluated in clockwise order. This helps break up the large course of the game into digestible chunks, and it helps break up the strategy into manageable decisions that are closer to tactics. The 6yo quite quickly started deliberately selecting his 5 cards to try to increase his chances of building a good bridge. The 4yo has no effing idea what he’s doing but loves it regardless.

As an adult, there’s an extra layer of guessing game and bluffing involved, where you are trying to guess what your opponent might be doing in what order, based on the context of the board, not unlike Clairvoyance or some old Richard Garfield stuff.

This is probably the kids favorite game next to Blokus, but they can’t really play it 1v1 in a way that makes sense as a game. It helps to have an adult involved sort of DMing the process. They can use the blanks and stones to make bridges for fun though, which is quite cool. Smart, appealing, easy to set up, and a great fantasy.

Machi Koro

distributed by IDW Games

Masao Suganuma’s Machi Koro is a lightweight and very fun investment game. Consisting of only two dice, a deck of cards, and some coin tokens, it’s extremely portable. The real world theme makes it very easy to understand. The fantasy of city building is very appealing as well. I should add that we’re playing with the vanilla set without expansions.

We’ve only played a few rounds, and the kids get a huge kick out of it. There’s a lot of DMing involved, since each turn is two phases, and the kids sometimes get coin costs and activation costs confused. They love seeing their cities build out, though, and the anticipation of the dice roll to see if anything activates is very fun. While the complexity is a bit of a con as far as the kids being able to play out their own turns, Machi Koro’s basic design is such that if you play it in the most direct, fun way (buy something basically every turn), you’ll produce a pretty strategically viable city quite quickly. Rather, a pretty strategically blind but tactically fun approach will put the player in quite good shape and keep things exciting for adult players trying to min-max.

That was unexpected and quite cool - King of Tokyo has some of the same affordances and I think it’s a really marvelous quality in a co-play game. When the less strategic players are still really in it and putting pressure on the more strategic players, that’s always a good sign.

As a game designer, Machi Koro is just extremely pleasant. Absolutely the minimum of moving parts to create a really funny, complex economy. Recommended, but with the caveat that probably an adult will need to DM a bit, and due to that play times can approach one hour. The kids loved playing though and have been requesting additional plays.

Tokaido

distributed by Fun Forge

Maybe the prettiest board game of all time. Playing with kids is quite similar to Machi Koro - expect a lot of DMing due to turn complexity, and slightly longer play times. The activities and fantasies within the game delighted both kids though, and again they enjoyed seeing their collections grow, and moving down the path. Just the thing itself was kind of inherently enjoyable.

As an adult there’s a bunch of interesting things going on, little gambles and guesses and things. We have been playing WITHOUT the special character abilities, just to keep the possibility space a little more manageable. So far it hasn’t really detracted from the experience. And again, probably the most visually attractive board game I’ve ever seen. A complete delight.

Disclaimer: the very first play and setup and rule-reading is non-trivial. Maybe try playing it with adults first before breaking it out with the kiddos. While Tokaido is actually surprisingly and pleasantly simple to play once you know what you’re doing, some of the core mechanics are a little counter-intuitive at first, and your first play session will be smoother if you’re more familiar with the game.

Ok That’s It (So Far!)

I hope this was enjoyable or helpful somehow. These games have brought us a lot of joy in some uncertain times these last few months. Best of luck on your own family gaming adventures!

[mikeyd1986]

TAME IMPALA – THE SLOW RUSH (ALBUM REVIEW)

One-man band Kevin Parker from Perth, Western Australia has been a self-confessed loner and perfectionist. His latest record, The Slow Rush, which comes five years after the release of 2015’s Currents, is aptly titled as it implies that Parker is in no immediate hurry to put out new music. It also homes in on the concept of time, and Parker’s relationship with time. Early 2019 single Patience, which sadly didn’t make the cut for this album, is probably the best representation of this as well as the ever-evolving experimentation of his trademark sound.

Parker seems to answer the question during the song’s chorus (Just growin’ up in stages…living life in phases. Another season changes. And still, my days are shapeless). He lays down a 70’s inspired glam disco groove with permeates throughout the whole track like a sample on repeat. There’s also a sonically distorted piano loop, soft electronic synths and the distinct sound of bongo drums with conjures up a hazy summer music festival type vibe. And this is pretty much just a taster for what’s in store for the rest of The Slow Rush.

Opening track One More Year contains a shimmering melody, stuttering vocal effects and a rollicking drumbeat! Compared to Tame Impala’s previous albums, this is probably the most unusual of tracks to start a new record on especially with Parker opting to do some spoken-word rambling over the hypnotic house beat (We got a whole year. Fifty-two weeks. Seven days each. Four seasons, one reason, one way. One year from today).

And yet bizarrely, Parker manages to make it work with his complex sonic arrangements all blending together seamlessly. Instant Destiny on the other hand seems to move us into more familiar territory, more akin to the sound of Tame Impala’s last record Currents. But at 3 minutes, it’s a short-lived moment and far from representative of the album as a whole.

His official first single for this album Borderline underwent some radical changes including a shorter track length (3:57 compared to 4:36 of the original YouTube release) and a deeper, groovier bassline. Whilst I can certainly appreciate these changes, I prefer his original release as it seemed more natural and organic! Sometimes I feel like Parker’s perfectionist tendencies gets in his own way. It’s the classic case of having too many cooks in the kitchen spoiling the broth! He’s well intentioned in switching up this arrangement but to me it seems like a rare misstep.

Speaking on the original release of Borderline, it’s probably one of his best compositions to date. He delivers a mellow, stripped back track complete with beautiful harmonies, organic percussion, lush instrumentation (piano, bongo drums, flutes) and his usual stream-of-consciousness styled lyrics (There I go. Quite a show for a loner in LA. Askin’ how I managed to end up in this place. And I couldn’t get away).

In terms of musical influences, Parker seems to pull a page out of almost every decade of music! From Led Zeppelin to Daft Punk; From Aphex Twin to Radiohead; From Quincy Jones to Van Halen, the listener will most likely find themselves scratching their heads thinking “I’m sure I’ve heard that guitar riff or that drum beat or that synth line from somewhere before”. It’s a clever way of creating familiar sounds without blatantly sampling or ripping off an artist which Parker does very well on this album.

Posthumous Forgiveness is the most personal track Parker has released to date. It’s presumably about his late father, reflecting on the difficult relationship they had and finding a way to forgive him. The intro sounds like something from a Quentin Tarantino film (like Jackie Brown) but it progressively evolves with increased synths, repetitive drum loops, funky guitar riffs and blissful melodic stretches. It’s a deeply emotional track and one of Tame Impala’s best songs to date!

Breathe Deeply seems to combine influences from both the R&B and dance music worlds! Vocally this probably the best he’s ever sounded, pushing his falsetto vocal tones to their limits. Lyrically it shows a new-found confidence that we’ve yet to see from Parker until now (If you think I couldn’t hold my own. Believe me. I can). On track further adds to this with its swirling sonically manipulated aesthetic and upbeat hooks. He also highlights on the fact that he’s finally found love (The hardest part is over, adjusting makes it slower. So glad you’re coming over, I want to bring us closer).

Recent single Lost in Yesterday is easily the most catchy and accessible track on here. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad though. It’s a standout in terms of its groovy melody, funky basslines, Parker’s falsetto vocal range and memorable lyrics (So what was I ever afraid of? Why did I worry? And why was I ever so brainless? Head in a flurry). But compared to most of this album’s tracks, it’s pretty middle-of-the-road by Kevin Parker’s standards.

It Might Be Time fares better in terms of putting the focus back on this album’s central theme of time, specifically reflecting on what you’ve done with your life and comparing that to others (And suddenly. All my friends are growin’ up and movin’ on. I must be missin’ something). Closing track One More Hour is an epic 7 minute opus which sees Parker pulling out all of his impressive sonic tricks like a funky piano loops, buzzing guitar riffs, colourful synths, kaleidoscopic melodies and loud machine gun-like drumming.

After a 5-year gap between records, I think most fans were naturally worried that Kevin Parker had set the bar far too high for himself with 2015’s Currents. So, it’s a huge relief and a pleasant surprise that he manages to live up to those enormous expectations (for the most part). The Slow Rush is a record that documents the organic evolution of both Kevin Parker as a musician and a human being.

While there are still lyrics which suggest Parker still has moments of self-doubt and insecurity, there is a lot more optimism and confidence shining through here that hasn’t surfaced on his previous efforts. Perhaps his wife Sophie Lawrence who can be heard on the track Tomorrow’s Dust is the reason why Parker seems to be much brighter and more positive now. The future may be uncertain but for KP, he’s certainly got a lot to look forward to.